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#people probably think I hate them I’m just nervous and don’t know how to talk to people LMAO
sabertoothwalrus · 20 days
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I’ve seen you post some labru stuff and I’m curious what your thoughts on it are. personally I don’t see it? I can buy Kabru having feelings for Laios, but I think Laios wouldn’t be interested in Kabru, so it makes me wonder why so many people ship them. (Tbh I feel like Kabru has more chemistry with Mithrun anyway)
Sorry if this ask sounds rude, I just genuinely don’t understand the appeal of the ship, but I want to understand and I trust your analysis of characters very much :] maybe there’s something I’m missing
I really like both ships, actually!
For labru, there’s sooooo much I could talk about. The inherent homoeroticism of being narrative foils. The inherent homoeroticism of being the king’s advisor. All of chapter 76. The fact that Kabru has mask upon mask upon mask, and Laios is the first person that made his facade absolutely crumble.
Kabru struggles with being genuine!!! Everything he says and does is so perfectly calculated, even when he sort of means it. But since Laios doesn’t get social cues, Kabru gets thrown for a loop.
I get so frustrated when people act like Kabru still hates Laios by the end of the manga!!!!! He killed those corpse retrievers for being corrupt, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to kill Laios. He has such a strong sense of justice, and knew that killing Laios would be a mistake. Because, after meeting him, he could tell he wasn’t actually evil. He’s strange, sure, but not evil.
Kabru DEFINITELY wants to be friends with Laios!! He was not lying about this!!!
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But this last comic shows how much Laios wants to be friends with Kabru, too. He’s so nervous after calling Kabru his friend 😭 he doesn’t want to be presumptuous and fuck it up again.
Laios does show an interest in Kabru, at least when Laios thinks he’s interested in eating monsters too. Like,, what was up with THIS
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Laios’s gaze is LINGERING. Plus, (this is before that bit at Thistle’s house when he forgets his name) he brings up Kabru when they first form their plan to eat Falin.
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And maybe this is just because of my own personal experiences, but Laios reminds me a lot of my own girlfriend. I think they have a similar flavor of gay/aspec & autism combo where, had I not asked her out first, she probably never would have considered being interested in me. But she was very down when I did.
The tricky part about labru is more the political aspect. Regardless of whether you see Laios as aroace or not, he’s in a situation where he will probably get married. He had a fiancée before he was age 13, likely betrothed since he was a baby. He’s already comfortable with the idea of getting married because He’s Supposed To.
However, Laios is king, and could make gay marriage legal if he wanted to (He would probably do this for his sister and Marcille before considering it for himself ). But at the same time, I think Kabru would object to Laios making whatever policies he wants without considering the repercussions of how other kingdoms might react, especially when they’re just getting Melini off the ground and need lots of support from other countries. Laios and Kabru getting gay married anyway and dealing with the aftermath could make for a really compelling story.
I do think Kabru would be a good ruler. He’s already fit for it. He speaks a dozen languages, he knows people and their motivations, and likes politics. The manga already joked about Chilchuck’s daughters trying to marry a king, so it seems like noble blood isn’t too important, but Kabru’s foster family IS nobility. When it comes to heirs, I do like trans Kabru headcanons, but at the same time, I think it’d be cute if they adopt anyway. Kabru seems like he’d have strong feelings about adoption given,,, yknow.
The alternative version of labru to this is Laios gets straight married out of obligation, and Kabru is his mistress hdhdhshsj. I don’t know if I could see Laios doing that? or if Kabru would risk the scandal of being outed as Royal Advisor and Regent trying to seduce the king. It could go SO downhill. but maybe that would be fun.
NOW FOR KABUMISU.
I knew people shipped them, and I could see the basis for it while reading, but I wasn’t really sold on it until the very end. There’s something about “I had no desires left. I decided to create new desires, and one of them is you” that’s really charming.
There’s also something funny about “the demon ate my heterosexuality so I’m gay now”
I think it’s interesting that Kabru hates elves. He was raised by them, and he hates them. He hates feeling patronized by them. He made absolutely sure that elves wouldn’t take control over Melini, not just for his sake, but for Rin’s.
But Mithrun’s interactions with Kabru are founded on more mutual respect. Though, that’s not to say that Mithrun doesn’t still have his biases towards short lived races..
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Where Laios doesn’t understand social cues, Mithrun does but just doesn’t care. For that reason, I think Kabru would enjoy spending time with Mithrun. It’d give him a break from his compulsion to calculate all of his social interactions. But at the same time, Kabru is the KING at bottling his emotions. Mithrun is blunt, but also doesn’t care enough to pry. If Kabru had anything bothering him, I could imagine him seeking Mithrun’s company to avoid thinking about it. Could make for a fun dynamic.
I do think it’s funny that Milsiril 1) took care of Mithrun for potentially 20 years and 2) is only four years older than him. I imagine this could lead to funny situations.
I don’t ship things for no reason! I think both of these could work platonically, romantically, one-sided, or even “requited but they don’t do anything about it.” Their relationships compel me and I think it’s sort of bad faith to brush off either like they’re nothing more than baseless yaoi pair-the-spares. To me, I see just as much of a foundation in the source material as farcille.
After all, dungeon meshi isn’t a story about romance, but it IS a story about love. It’s a story about life and death and grief and the love that comes with it. Regardless of shipping, these characters love each other!!! And I love talking about it!!
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sleekswosobession · 4 months
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the heart wants what it wants
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alexia putellas x fem!reader
request: here & here
A/N: tried a diff writing style in this one, i think i like it better.
TW: swearing? (idk if it’s considered but i see other people doing it)
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National camp, you hated it. Nearly everything about it sucked. Keyword, nearly. It means you got to see her. The captain of Spain, and the captain of Barcelona. You know it’s probably not a good idea to fall for your ‘enemy’ but how couldn’t you? Faded pink hair, absolutely drop dead gorgeous. Who wouldn’t love that.
It would be easier if you weren’t so devoted to your own club, Real Madrid. The biggest rival of Barcelona. But that can be put aside for the little bit that comes with National camp, even if friend groups are very much seperate.
You wait as the rooms get announced. For who knows what, you get paired with Alexia. Olga sends a sly smirk to which you immediately slap her on the arm.
“Don’t you dare say a word Carmona.” Is all you say before lugging your bags and taking a keycard, heading towards the shared room.
“The bed on the window alright for you?” She asks, you nod.
You miss the way that she’s slightly nervous, and blushing. Too focused on trying to keep your own feelings at bay.
After unpacking everything, you’re laying on the bed staring at the ceiling, daydreaming which soon turns to actual dreaming when you fall asleep.
You’re woken up by a soft voice telling you that dinner is ready and to go down to everyone. It’s Alexia, you blush again looking away. Nodding before getting your shit together and moving on.
You walk down splitting from Alexia and going to sit down at a table with Olga, Ivana and Athenea.
“Don’t give me that look Olga.” You sigh as she smirks.
“I will make you do laps.” You threaten.
“You would not! I saved you a plate, look here.” She slides a plate over which you accept in thanks before turning to small talk with the girls.
Something which somehow goes unknown to everyone at your table, Alexia is watching. Receiving teasing from her own friends.
“Alexia, just ask her out already. My God it’s getting annoying of you two just blushing and staring at each other all day.” Jenni says to her friend, while they may be exes there’s still a lot of respect.
“I don’t know Jenni, she wouldn’t feel the same. We are captains of rival teams!” The dark haired spaniard rolls her eyes.
“Alexia.” This time it’s Misa. “I’m on the same team as her so let me. She says she has a crush but only Olga knows of it. And apparently it’s someone from another team. That’s all I know, but I did see Olga smirk when your rooms were read and then Y/N hit her whispering something.” She shrugs.
“If that doesn’t scream, my best friend is roomed with her crush and now she’s hitting me for pointing it out behaviour. I don’t know what is. You have until the end of camp to do this or I will ask her out for you myself.” The goalkeepers outburst surprises Alexia but she nods anyways, thinking that maybe tonight she’ll tell you. Maybe.
After dinner, and all the players are sent back to their respective rooms or to play games in the common area. You find yourself wondering around the hotel. Thinking about upcoming games and literally everything in between that.
After an hour or so of exploring different areas, finding a gym, swimming pool and jacuzzi you make your way back to the room where Alexia is pacing around.
“Penny for your thoughts?” This seems to get her out of the trance and she immediately looks up, blushing lightly. Is that a blush? You wonder.
“Lo siento, it’s nothing.” Your eyebrows light up in surprise.
“Well, if you need anything I’m right here.” She nods slowly, as if considering her options.
“Actually, there is something I’ve been meaning to ask.” She looks down nervously at her hands, fidgeting with them.
“Go ahead.” You answer lightly with a small smile.
“I was wondering… maybe you’d wanna go on a date?” Your eyes open wide, this wasn’t what you expected at all.
“Uhh, y-yeah! Sure. Like… romantic right?” You stutter as she relaxes and nods.
“Yeah, like that. Maybe when we have time to explore, the day before the game? We can find a place.” You nod.
“That sounds amazing, it should be fun.” After the conversation ends, you immediately message Olga the news. Who is… screaming in text messages.
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Unable to keep a smile of your face for the next few days, it seems the team is doing alright given certain circumstances. Alexia does take you out on that date and it ends with a kiss that makes you feel like a high schooler experiencing their first love. Cheesy, but true nonetheless. The team hasn’t found out yet but the respective friend groups teased both you and Alexia relentlessly, which only resulted in blushing messes and stuttered words.
Sometimes, a little bit of encouragement and fate can work wonders.
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sugrhigh · 3 months
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BOY NEXT DOOR 2 - ( c.s )
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part one
summary- you and your roommates live beside a bunch of senior hockey players, one of them being the infamous team captain chris sturniolo. he’s effortlessly flirty and undeniably attractive, but he’s also a pain in your ass. you find that you have to fight between lust and hatred as you finally get to know the boy next door, whether you want to or not.
warnings- swearing, kissing, that’s it i think
neighbor/hockey!chris x fem!reader
a/n: PART TWOOOOO!!!! i hope u guys like this series i’m having a lot of fun with it (and s/o to my girl @cutenote for letting me use her name). self-indulged this chapter and made the reader a flyers fan so SRY but anyways, enjoy! next thing im putting out is a matt request and then i’ll be working on this series and the tattooartist!reader x matt series. if you have other reqs, questions, confessions, etc, my inbox is open 🫶🏻
@cutenote @mattsmunch @mattybsbitch @breeloveschris @st7rnioioss
your stomach flips as you stare in the mirror, twisting and turning every which way to make sure you look alright. you’re in one of chris’s jerseys, repping the crimson and gold colors of boston university, complete with the little ‘C’ emblem for captain.
he left it in your mailbox earlier on his way to the arena, demanding that you wear it instead of the BU sweatshirt you had planned on going in. so you listened to him, even though you’re not really sure why.
your hair and makeup are all done, contrary to the last time chris saw you, when you were in his house threatening to call the cops. it feels performative, getting all dressed up for something you don’t even want to go to.
but what the hell, you hadn’t seen the team play at all this year, and if you look your best you’ll feel your best. at least, that’s what you convinced yourself would happen.
“are you done up there? we need to leave, games gonna start soon!” one of your roommates calls from the living room.
you sigh and turn away from your own reflection so you can head for the stairs. cassidy and ramona are both waiting for you on the couch as you round the corner, also decked out in BU merch.
you’re just lucky you had been able to convince them both to come with you, so you don’t have to stand by yourself.
“took you long enough.” cassidy mumbles under her breath as she stretches her legs and stands up.
mona mimicks her movements, but not without shooting her a glare. “be nice, she’s obviously nervous.”
“no i’m not!” you protest, and now they both give you an eye roll as they pass you to get their coats from the closet.
“your voice just went up ten octaves.” cass snarks.
you are anxious, but it’s just because of the unknown. you still haven’t figured out what chris is angling at, besides maybe sleeping with you, which isn’t gonna happen. well, probably not at least.
no, not ever. oh my god.
“i’m not nervous. i just wish i could back out.” you double down, turning to see them both pulling on their big winter jackets.
“you used to love hockey, you just don’t like chris. one game won’t kill you.” ramona replies.
“and you also didn’t have to agree.”
this accusation makes your face flush, in embarrassment and in denial. “he wouldn’t have stopped that party if i didn’t. and you know i could never actually call the cops.”
ramona stays silent as cass laces up her shoes. “whatever you say babe. you look cute in his jersey either way.”
“cassidy!” you whine in exasperation.
“i’m honestly not sorry.”
the entire walk to the get to the game is spent harassing you, which is a solid twenty minutes because you live off campus. ramona does try to keep it to a minimum, though you can’t really blame them for the questions. you have them too.
it’s always been weird with you and chris. you hate his attitude, how people fall to his feet like he’s some sort of god. you can’t stand the way he talks to you like he can read your mind, or how you always catch him staring at your lips just so he can pretend like he wasn’t.
he does it to every girl, and you don’t know why he’s taking all of these extra steps to try and get you into bed.
maybe because you see through it, and you don’t want any part of him. he said it himself, he doesn’t want a relationship, and you’re not looking to get an STD, so you don’t know why he’s bothering.
you finally arrive at the facility, and your stomach flips. tons of people are out tonight, of course. the sun is long gone with it being winter and all, so the lights are extra overwhelming as you step inside.
you head through security and scan your passes, ones that are specifically right beside the student section in the very front. chris gifted them to you for free since you didn’t get season tickets, right by the glass so he knows where you are.
even when you were a pain in the ass and insisted you needed two more for your roommates, he made it work. it was a little impressive.
you find your seats, and the boys are already on the ice warming up. you spot chris from the jersey number, 3, and you can see his long hair poking out from underneath his helmet.
he’s focused on taking a practice shot, but as he skates by the glass afterwards you see him looking, like he isn’t sure if you showed up. but then he finds you, and you can actually see his stupid smile.
he waves, just a tiny one, before he goes right back to drills. you’re thankful he didn’t make it dramatic, because you know there’s plenty of girls in the stands who want him, and have probably already been with him.
you each take your coats off and hang them on your chairs. you know the fact that you having his last name plastered across your back doesn’t help the attention, but people can think what they want.
you don’t give a fuck. cassidy was right, it’s cuter on you anyways.
they head into the locker room quickly after your arrival, and even more people fill in to watch the show. the student section is loud as the facility finally goes dark, and the team skates back onto the ice moments later.
spotlights flood the stadium, highlighting different players as both teams line up along the neutral zone. you cheer extra loud when they announce the starting lineup and call chris’s name, even despite your vendetta against him.
no use being a shitty fan if you’re already here.
they get ready for the face off after the national anthem, and BU gets the puck. it’s back and forth for a while, and you find yourself groaning and cheering with the rest of the crowd during every play.
the first goal of the game is scored within fifteen minutes, by one of his other roommates ben, of all people. you and your friends are jumping around like maniacs, and you can see him laughing at you guys after they’re all done celebrating on the ice.
it makes you wonder if chris told them you’d be here, but you force yourself to eat the popcorn cass bought and stop thinking about it.
the second period begins and BU keeps possession for most of it, pretty much dominating their opponent. in the final thirty seconds, chris drives down the rink to score another goal.
you throw your hands up without thinking, and you let the excitement take over. “fuck yeah!”
cassidy and ramona are screaming too, shaking you by the shoulders wildly.
he comes skating over, pointing right at you as he does a lap near the student section. heads turn, and you can literally feel people staring at you now, even despite the noise and the chaos.
but you’re alive, and you can’t get enough of this environment, so you keep cheering for him regardless of the burning feeling of eyes on you.
“that was cute.” ramona nudges you with a genuine smile, and you’re fighting your own grin as you shake your head.
“whatever.”
the rest of the game is swift. your goalie makes a couple great saves, and a guy named dylan, who you’ve met before at parties, scores the final point of the night.
it just twists the knife further, because it’s a total shutout. the fans go wild as the final buzzer sounds, and you’re right there with them. you relish in the lights, the feeling.
you really did miss watching hockey in person. and you can’t even say you necessarily hate watching chris anymore. there’s just something about the way he skates, so locked in on the game.
he’s a threat, to be completely honest, and you kind of love it.
“that was fucking crazy.” cassidy is beaming happily as you guys gather your things ten minutes post-game, and ramona nods along.
“we’re gonna have to do this more often.” she glances at you with hope.
“hey, don’t look at me. i’m in it for the free tickets, and i’m not sure how long that’ll last.” you’re lying through your teeth, because you enjoyed it just as much.
but again. who knows what he’s really trying to do here.
“you could give him the benefit of the doubt.” mona suggests dryly.
“does he really deserve it? he’s going to think he’s the shit either way.” you point out, and she goes quiet.
“maybe that’s true, but i’ve never heard of him doing whatever that celebration was with other girls.” cassidy takes over, and she’s honestly check-mated you.
it is strange, because when you watched games last season, before you had chris as your neighbor, before you even really knew of him, you hadn’t ever seen that. and from current knowledge, you’re pretty sure he had a short term girlfriend during one of those months.
“touché, i guess.” you grumble, and as if right on que your phone vibrates in your pocket.
chris
wait for me, 15 mins max
ramona and cassidy take the bus home, leaving you on your lonesome as the crowd clears out slowly but surely.
you can hear girls whispering about you as they walk by, but it’s not even worth it. you’re not scared of what they have to say. maybe when you were younger, you would have reacted, but it’s just displaced jealousy anyways.
they don’t even know the truth.
finally, after what feels like a painful amount of time, you get a text from chris with directions toward the locker rooms.
it’s far more quiet now as you make your way to the ground level of the arena, headed to the section of the rink you know is closed off to pretty much everyone else. there’s a guy standing there, dressed in his black shirt with the facility logo on it.
he goes to stop you, but chris comes strutting through the hall, out of uniform now. his brown hair is all messy, and he’s dressed down in a matching black sweat set.
“she’s cool, i have a pass for her.”
he walks right up to you, looping a red lanyard over your head. his fingertips brush the skin of your neck as he collects your hair with his hands, flipping it out from underneath the string for you.
it’s a small thing. his touch is barely there, and yet it still burns.
the security guy smiles at you as you follow chris down the hall. you’ve never been back here before, and you have to admit it’s kind of cool.
you can see where the arena workers go on and off the ice, and the large garage type doors that let the zambonis in and out.
“so.” he breaks the silence, and you almost jump at the sound of his voice.
you were in your own world, and you kind of forgot what was actually going on here.
“so.” you parrot, waiting for him to continue as he leads you around a corner.
“looked like you actually had fun for once.” chris jokes, and you shove his shoulder half-heartedly.
“shut up, i’ve always liked hockey. you though? i’m not so sure.” you give him a look and he opens his mouth like he’s shocked.
“come on, i pointed you out after my goal and everything. you’re telling me you didn’t like it even a little?”
you liked it more than you care to admit, so you don’t. “it’s gonna take more than that to impress me, christopher, but i will say it was a good game.”
“you might just be our lucky charm.” chris glances at you out of the corner of the corner of his eye as he slows to a stop in front of the locker room.
you cross your arms over your chest. “now you're just patronizing me.”
“always assuming the worst.”
“well, you make it easy.” you tease.
he pauses to look down at your defensive stance, at his jersey all scrunched up around your body, and you can tell by his smirk that he’s loving it a little too much.
you clear your throat to try and alleviate some of the tension and chris snaps out of it, turning to head through the little entryway.
“i’m gonna grab my bag, don’t go anywhere.”
“you’re my ride, dumbass.” you remind him, and you hear his chuckle reverberate against the walls as he disappears.
a few players head out as you wait, ones you don’t recognize, and they nod at you politely as they chat amongst themselves. it actually takes you by surprise, but you try not to show it.
chris comes back into the hall a minute later, bag slung around his shoulder. he’s got a black bruins beanie on now, and you raise an eyebrow instinctively.
“why are you looking at me like that?” he asks, waving his hand so you follow him further down the wide corridor.
“your hat.” you point, and he looks offended.
“what’s your problem with it?”
“not everyone who goes to school here is actually from boston, genius. i’m a flyers fan.” you smile at him sweetly, and he literally groans.
“how did i not know this?” he asks as you guys reach the door that leads to the team parking lot.
“because you don’t know me.” you reply swiftly.
chris pushes the door open and holds it for you, another move you don’t expect. “i know more than you think.”
you shiver slightly as you step past him into the cold, wrapping your coat around yourself a bit tighter.
“if it helps you sleep at night.” you chirp over your shoulder.
you know his car, a black jeep grand cherokee that you’ve always been a little jealous of, and it’s sitting in the middle of the lot. not many others are still here, and you can hear both of your feet kicking up gravel as you walk.
chris picks up his pace so he can beat you there, swinging the passenger door open before you can do it yourself.
“wow, chivalry’s not dead.” you say blankly, sliding into the seat so he can close you in.
“what can i say, i’m a real gentleman.”
the interior smells like a pine air freshener, which actually isn’t a bad touch. chris walks around so he can toss his bag in the back and get behind the wheel, starting the engine and peeling out of the spot.
it’s quiet for a moment, aside from the music, and you can’t help but peek over at him sitting across from you. the shadows accentuate his striking features as he mumbles lyrics under his breath, nodding his head along ever so slightly.
he looks pretty, and you don’t like it one bit.
“i can feel you staring at me, you know.” chris turns to glance at you for a brief moment before he puts his eyes back on the road.
it makes your palms sweat, because he caught you in the act and now there’s no shying away.
deny, deny, deny.
“just wondering why your face looks like that.”
“what, devilishly handsome?” he smirks.
“i was thinking gremlin-esque, but sure.” you deadpan, and he just shakes his head and laughs lowly.
“so scared of your own feelings. it’s cute.”
it’s a major call-out, and it normally doesn’t phase you. but tonight it’s different. he’s being so fucking strange, and it’s clearly been messing with your head.
“i’m not scared of shit, because the only thing i feel is sorry for all the girls who have actually fallen for this.” you retort, and the frustration is clear in your voice.
“other girls don’t get the princess treatment like you do.” his self-satisfied demeanor doesn’t falter for a second, even despite your low blow.
“yeah, right. i’m sure i’m really special.”
chris grips the wheel tighter as he turns onto your street, and you have to rip your eyes away from his long fingers.
“well you’re the only one who’s ever worn my jersey, so that’s something.” he admits, scratching his neck absentmindedly.
you’re not sure whether you believe it, but this time he actually does sound genuinely nervous. well, nervous for chris.
“and i wear it best too.” you brush some imaginary dust off of your shoulder as he pulls up into his driveway and puts the car in park.
“won’t argue on that one.” he shrugs, shooting you an easy grin.
“that’s surprising.”
you step back out into the crisp night air, slamming the door shut behind you. you meet chris at the front of the car and try to move around him, headed for your own place.
he takes a step to block you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “where are you going?”
you put some distance between your bodies, because he’s once again too close for comfort, and it’s hard to focus on your words when he’s inches from your face.
“home, obviously.”
“why? i thought we were going to hang out.” he frowns.
“nothing good ever happens in your house past nine p.m.”
this makes him smirk. “very good things happen in that house past nine p.m.”
“your charm is irresistible, truly.” you bite back sarcastically, maneuvering around him as you try to ignore the fire burning in your stomach.
you’ve only taken two steps before chris grabs your arm, pulling you back into his chest quickly. his other hand goes to hold the side of your face, tangling in your hair as he leans in close.
his lips ghost over yours, just barely. you can smell the cologne he must have put on after the game, can feel his slight stubble scratching your face, and it’s all too much.
you haven’t been kissed in so long, and right now it doesn’t matter that it’s chris, and that it goes against everything you stand for. your eyes flutter closed and you fill the gap, pressing your mouth against his hard.
it shocks him, so much so that he almost forgets how to do this properly. chris can taste your berry chapstick, and your lips are so much fucking softer than he even imagined.
his tongue slides against yours skillfully, deepening the kiss as he presses his body flush against yours. you can feel his thumb brushing your cheek as your mouths clash together continuously. its passionate and angry and intense, and you can’t believe it’s happening.
why is this happening?
the thought snaps you out of it, and you put your hand on his chest to force him away roughly. chris is surprised, and you’re both slack-jawed and breathing heavily as your body tries to catch up with your brain.
“i…i’m gonna go.” you mumble quietly, because you have no idea what else to say.
“or you could stay.”
“i don’t want to.”
“you’re a terrible liar.” he counters, and you can see how raw and red his lips are even in the moonlight.
you shake your head and turn toward your own front porch. it’s too hard to continue meeting his fiery gaze, because he’s looking at you like he actually needs you.
“goodnight, chris.”
“this isn’t over, you know. one day you’ll finally admit it.” he calls after you, and you don’t gratify him with a response.
there’s nothing that’ll change his mind, especially after you had actually caved in during that moment of weakness. it was so unwarranted, and you’re angry that kissing him didn’t feel as wrong as it should have.
you take the steps two at a time and hurry through the door, closing it behind you and pressing your back to the wood.
your fingers dance across your lips, and you swear you can still feel his mouth on yours.
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bagopucks · 2 months
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J. Drysdale - Blind Dating
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✄————————————
Jamie Drysdale x Fem!reader
Requested✨
Word Count: 2.5k
Warning(s): alcohol consumption.
The end is pretty fast paced but I’m considering making a part two if enough people like this!
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This had to be a joke.
I tapped my foot impatiently against the floor beneath the table. Watching the man across from me fidget with his menu, peeking over it occasionally with a wide grin to ask some sort of question. Was he five? His hair was parted down the middle, looking as if it was still drying from a shower. He had wide blue eyes.. doe eyes, warm and welcoming compared to my scowl. He was handsome, but I couldn’t get past his behavior.
“What do you think you’re gonna get?” His voice was soft, but curious. I wanted to reply with, ‘whatever I can finish the quickest to get out of here,’ but I held my tongue. “The shrimp Alfredo looks really good.. I’m just afraid it won’t taste the same.” I would admit he was mostly talking to himself. I wasn’t being very open. But his statement piqued my interest.
“The same as what?”
“I used to live in California, right next to the beach. All of the seafood was so fresh.” I watched his broad shoulders rise and fall in a shrug.
“That’s nice.” I looked down at the glass of water I held between my hands. This man was not very impressive. Nor did he seem overly confident. Or confident at all.
Could he sense my distaste?
“You can get something other than water.. I don’t want you to feel like you need to save my money.” His words brought a good reminder as to why I hadn’t walked out already. He was covering the whole meal.
“Thanks, but I’m avoiding much else at the moment.” I spoke, watching his big blue eyes look back up from the menu.
The fact that the man had been late was probably the driving factor that made me not want to give him a chance. I was never one to take to people who had a bad internal clock.
“So.. what do you do for a job?”
“I’m a journalist.” I answered his question briefly, my eyes wandering toward the window by our table.
“Nice! You must be pretty smart then.” An awkward chuckle fell from his lips. “I’d say I was okay in school.. but I never went to college. Just wasn’t my thing.”
“It’s not for everybody.” I shrugged, watching cars pull into the lot of the restaurant.
“Is this the first time you’ve done the whole.. blind dating thing?”
“No.”
“Oh.. this is my first time. I gotta admit I’m pretty nervous.”
“You don’t say,” the sarcastic phrase slipped ruthlessly from my lips. My gaze returned to the man to assess the damage, a momentary empathy filling my gaze. He simply chuckled again.
“I know.. my best friend always says I’m easy to read.”
“I’m sorry,” I apologized softly, leaning back in my seat.
“It’s okay.. I get it. I can imagine I’m the last person you expected to show up..” his voice trailed off into silence before he shrugged once more. “You are very pretty.”
Finally. A compliment. I smiled. He seemed to loosen up slightly at the sight. I had been raised on the ideal of returning a compliment with a compliment, so I indulged his words kindly.
“Thank you, Jamie. I’ll admit you have beautiful eyes.” I watched his cheeks flush, my disinterest morphing quickly into a twinge of attraction. He was cute when he blushed.
“Thanks..” he whispered before his head seemed to duck behind the wall that was his menu again. What was once annoying slowly turned into amusing. Maybe I could cut him some slack. “Do you have any idea what you want?” He asked once more.
“I really love clams.” I glanced down at my own menu, at the item I had picked out the moment we entered the building. This was one of my favorite restaurants.
“Ew,” I heard Jamie mumble from the safety of his side of the table. My brow furrowed.
“You don’t like clams?” I leaned forward.
“Never had them.”
“Then how can you hate them?” I quickly reached out to pull his menu down, catching Jamie off guard. He immediately sat up. For the first time since he sat down, he was exposed, having to sit with no barrier between us. I refused to believe someone as beautiful as him had confidence issues.
“They look gross.” Jamie reasoned with a nervous grin.
“You’re trying one.” I demanded, smirking and folding my arms across my chest.
“Absolutely not.” I drew in a breath to insist before our conversation was cut short. Our waitress waltzed by with a grin, pulling a notepad from her apron as she greeted us kindly, informing us of the specials and the house alcohols.
“What can I get you two?” She glanced between the two of us, and Jamie’s eyes settled on me as a silent signal to go first.
“Can I get the garlic butter clams with a side of fries?” The woman nodded kindly and jotted down the order before turning to Jamie, who happily requested his own meal.
“Shrimp Alfredo and a side salad with Italian dressing?”
“Anything else for the two of you?”
“Can we get a bottle of wine?” I asked swiftly, “not too expensive, but whatever you think is best.” I had told Jamie I didn’t need anything other than water, but he certainly needed to loosen up. Wine was always a good way to take the edge off.
“Of course. I’ll be right back with that!” The waitress gathered our menus and swiftly turned to leave. My eyes settled on Jamie.
“I hope you don’t mind,” I spoke.
“I don’t mind at all.” He smiled, “as long as you share.” Though it wasn’t the best of jokes, his attempt still made me chuckle.
“Why are you so nervous, Jamie?” I folded my arms atop of one another on the table, leaning forward against them,
“Oh god… where to start?” He laughed at himself, reaching upwards to brush his hair back. “Well first of all I was late… which really wasn’t my fault, and I’m sorry. I had to- stay over time at my job. Then I had to run home and grab a shower real quick. It threw off my whole plan. Then I came here and find you sitting all alone- and I just felt bad. But you look- like.. amazing. I feel like I could have dressed a little nicer. And you’re kinda intimidating. When I lived in California I usually had a wingman, now I’m flying solo.. it’s kinda scary. Not to mention I’m new to this whole area. I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to go on a date so soon,” he seemed amused by his own misfortunes. A nice refreshing attitude to the usual of people whining and complaining. He drew in a deep breath only to sigh. “It’s been a long day, and I really didn’t want to mess this up. I still don’t.” It was the only explanation I needed. The judgement was lifted from my shoulders fairly quickly.
“It’s okay.. you haven’t messed anything up yet.” Less than minutes ago I would have had a different response. “Hopefully this wine’ll take the edge off too, yeah?” I watched Jamie’s anxieties melt away, nodding with a wide grin.
“Yeah.. that would be amazing.”
And it certainly was. The minute the wine came Jamie and I dove in. We opened up far more, and I learned a lot about the man in front of myself. He told jokes, he spoke about what he loved and what he was passionate about, and he asked a million questions about me. When our food came the conversation slowed but it didn’t stop. I was taken with his smile, his glow, his tentativeness. And just like he promised, when we finished eating, he paid for everything. I hadn’t planned on spending any more time than necessary with the man, at least not at first. But I’d admit the turn of events made me sad to think of the fact that I’d have to say goodbye. Or would I?
“I had an amazing night,” Jamie spoke as he stood from his chair, grabbing his coat off the back of it.
“I did too.. but it’s not over yet.” I watched his brow rise in surprise as I stood too. “We have one more stop.” I walked around the table and reached for him. Jamie had no problem with letting me take hid hand. We walked side by side out of the restaurant, and he made sure to hold the door for me. “We should get an Uber,” I suggested, reaching for my phone. Though Jamie was quick to argue.
“No, they take too long. I’ll call a friend.” We sat down beside one another on the bench outside of the building. I leaned into Jamie’s side for warmth, and he was swift to wrap his arm around me while he dialed a number on his phone.
“Hey…”
I tuned out the conversation as I watched cars drive in and out of the lot. I relished in Jamie’s warmth, though I also told myself I was crazy for giving in to him so easily. I usually wasn’t into men like him. But he was certainly an exception.
“My friend said he’ll be over in five minutes.” I nodded as Jamie spoke.
“That’s pretty fast.”
“He’s really supportive.” Jamie laughed softly. “Where are we headed?”
“Cant say.”
“As long as you don’t axe murder me.” I rolled my eyes and laughed at the brunette’s words.
“You’re safe with me, Jamie.”
“That’s good.” I looked up at him, only to find him staring back. His blue eyes held questions I couldn’t decipher.
“What?” I finally asked, breaking the silence and recognizing the closeness.
“Nothing,” he whispered. “Nothing at all.” I smiled at his words. “You’re very pretty.” My heart fluttered and I looked away.
“Jamie,” I scolded, not wanting to be flustered.
“I’m serious,” he insisted with a giggle. I felt a cold hand touch the side of my neck as he moved my hair. I shivered. “Your beauty is more intimidating than your scowl.” He teased, causing my head to whip back in his direction. I swatted the man’s chest, laughing along with him as he found humor in his own joke.
“You’re mean,” I pouted.
“Please tell me where we’re going.” I laughed, watching his baby blues adopt a puppy dog stare.
“No way. Quit asking.” I pushed myself away from him, only to have him snatch my arm and pull me right back. I laughed, standing to try and get away before he followed suit. Jamie scooped me up into his arms, holding my back against his chest. All I could focus on was his beautiful laughter.
“Please-“ the honk of a horn cut him off. We both looked to see a bright red truck pulling up to the entrance of the building. “Oh wow.. that was fast,” Jamie mumbled before releasing me. He walked to the edge of the sidewalk and opened the back door of the truck. “Ladies first.” He held my hand as I stepped up into the vehicle, and Jamie was quick to follow suit.
“Seems like this date’s going well.” The man in the front seat turned to look at us. “Where are we headed?” I stood up and leaned over the middle console to speak with the man. We eventually settled on typing the address of the location into his phone before I fell back into my seat. The man let out a long whistle that I could tell intrigued Jamie. “Seems like this date is going really well.” The man teased.
“Where are you taking me?” Jamie insisted on asking. I ignored his question, and each one that followed for the entirety of the ride. His focus shifted from myself to the scenery out the window when he noticed we were leaving the city. It wasn’t a long drive, but it was far enough out of the suburbs to be intriguing. We crossed a few bridges, and found ourselves in the midst of a riverside neighborhood before Jamie started to put two and two together. The calm, ‘you have arrived’ of the GPS caused him to look back at me.
“Is this your house?”
“Surprise?” I pushed the car door open and slipped out. “Join me.” It wasn’t a demand. More so a request. Jamie had no issue saying yes. He followed me out of the car.
“Be safe!” The man in the truck called.
“Thanks Ty!” Jamie waved as his friend left, and I was quick to begin rummaging through my clutch for my house keys.
“You live on the river?”
“Wait ‘till you see my back deck.” I guided him to the front door, opening the glass door and unlocking the deadbolt of the actual door. I stepped inside and kicked my flats off as Jamie followed, toeing off his dress shoes. My home was a patchwork of decor. My walls were lined with a fresh yet old looking floral wallpaper, I had China cabinets full of old glassware my grandparents had passed down to me. Somewhere I had knitted quilts and a shelf full of inherited thymbols. The scent of fresh flowers was the leading smell in the home, and Jamie was quick to find the source of that scent as I closed the door. I turned to find him sniffing the pot full of dahlias seated on a stand by the window next to the door.
Why had I never been into men like this before? Whatever uncertainties I had about bringing him home slowly melted away.
“Want anything to drink?” I asked softly, catching his attention.
“What do you have?”
“Fresh iced tea, pop, water.”
“Tea would be nice.” Jamie followed me into the kitchen, taking in the decor as I poured two glasses of tea. When I was done I led him out of the kitchen and into the dining room, giving him his cup. I walked past the table, opening the sliding glass doors to the back deck that stretched out over the riverbank. The fairy lights strung on the roof of the deck glowed in a comforting way. I opened the window next to the glass door where my record player sat.
“You have a beautiful home,” Jamie spoke softly while I searched for a record. I found one and set it up to play before turning the device on.
“Thank you. I don’t like too many modern things.” I stepped outside with Jamie, and sat down on the swing at the edge of the deck. Jamie sat with me.
“Is there a reason you brought me here?”
“It’s private. Intimate.” I shrugged, eyes settling on the river.
“You trust me?”
“Asks the man who hid behind his menu when he sat down. I’d say there isn’t much to be cautious of.” I teased, laughing softly. I turned to face him, draping my legs over his own and leaning my back against one of the arm rests of the swing. “I don’t like to bring men home.” I admitted before taking a sip of my tea. “But that’s because many of them aren’t like you.”
“Thanks?”
“You’re more than welcome to stay the night.” I peeked at him, watching his lips turn upwards into a smile. “I’d hate to make your friend drive back out here this evening.”
“That’s the only reason?” Jamie asked teasingly, resting his free hand on my shin. I laughed.
“Maybe I have more.. but they’re secrets.” I shrugged. “Let’s just say it was a good first date.”
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nevvdrinksteaa · 5 months
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favors pt. ii
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this is part two of this post, i suggest reading that before reading this!
this is my first time writing smut, so please don’t bully me too bad - that being said i honestly think i kinda killed it ngl
also,, i suggest listening to like real people do by hozier during the slow dance bc it was my inspo and it really helps set the scene
~~~
pairing: mike schmidt x reader
original prompt: you’re abby’s babysitter and mike can’t pay you and asks if there’s anything you can do in return and you mention that you need a date to your brother’s wedding
warnings: 18+ nsfw smut, cheating, pet names, afab!reader (p in v) unprotected sex, daddy kink, spitting, cum swapping, throat fucking, spanking, oral (male and female), praise kink, dirty talk, choking, etc etc
word count: 6k
this is NOT proof read so if there are any mistakes ignore them! i believe that anyone of any shape or size and anyone of color can enjoy this. i don’t believe there is any description of physical appearance other than the use of the word ‘curves’ (please please correct me if i’m wrong, i don’t want to make assumptions about anything!!)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After some back and forth with himself, Mike decided to invite you over even though you didn’t need to babysit Abby. He wanted to talk about what he needed to wear to the wedding, what time to pick you up, and if you were staying overnight at the hotel so he could try to find a sitter for Abby. He’s never been to a wedding, not one that he can remember anyway. He wanted to make sure you were both on the same page and to him, texting everything just wouldn’t suffice.
Maybe that’s just what he kept telling himself. Maybe he just wanted to see you again. Maybe he wanted to ask you just how serious your relationship was. Is there any way he could squeeze in and replace your current partner? Could he do better than him? Make you cum harder and faster than him? He didn’t even know his name and he was so envious. Jesus, he needed to get a grip, he knew if you could hear his thoughts, you would hate him.
You were sat across from Mike, crisscrossed apple sauce style on the floor. You had a few loose papers, notes you had written last night to read off to the brown-haired boy. You were trying to make sure he was following along with the description of your family. You watched him make mental notes of everything you said, nodding every once and a while. You were nervous, to say the least, you hadn’t had a boyfriend meet your family in a while.
Your family was awful, complaining and nitpicking about everything in your life, nothing good enough for them. You were the oldest of your siblings and your cousins, but way behind in your career, you weren’t married, and you didn’t have any children. When you didn’t bring a date of some sort, they made sure to call you out on that, ‘Maybe it’s just something we’ll have to get used to’, ‘single again? No surprise there’. When you did bring a date it was the exact opposite, ‘You could do so much better’, ‘that’s the best you could do? We thought we raised you better’. It was quite embarrassing.
“My mom is going to be the most difficult, she is very hostile and she loves to pick everything I do apart.” Mike visibility gulped, nodding and making a mental note to limit his contact with your mom. “I think that’s everyone. We will probably need to do some hand-holding and some cheek kisses, some pet names maybe, but nothing that will make you uncomfortable, I already feel bad enough that I had to drag you to this and-”
Mike reached over and grabbed your hand that was resting on top of the coffee table, “Don’t worry about me. I’m a big boy, if I didn't want to do it I would've just said no. I want to help you”
You squeezed his hand, softly smiling at him. “I’m going shopping tomorrow morning for a dress, I’ll buy a tie for you while I’m out and drop it off once I’m finished if that’s okay?” you pick up your phone and keys off the table, standing up feeling the little shocks of electricity poke your legs after being in the same position for too long.
“Of course pretty girl, you can stop by whenever you want” Mike scolded himself, looking straight to the floor, regretting the words as soon as they came out of his mouth.
You look up from the pile of notes you collected, feeling the soft red form on your cheeks. Pretty…
“I’ll be back tomorrow, I’ll text you when I’m on my way,” you say as you walk towards the door, “Bye Abby!” you yell to the girl sitting at the dining table, knowing you won’t be getting a response back, shutting the door behind you. Pretty…
Pretty, Pretty, Pretty.
Those were your only thoughts as you got in your car, buckled in, and started to drive.
~~~
Mike tugged at the forest green tie you bought him trying to make the placement look presentable. Mike hated ties, associating ties with job interviews, sitting in uncomfortable chairs trying to look and sound better than he would be on his first day of the job, just to be there a few miserable weeks until he inevitably gets fired. Nothing good ever came from Mike wearing a tie and he was hoping that you were the solution to solving that problem.
He was combing his curls when he heard a knock at his door, “Abby, get the door, she’s here!”
He heard her desk chair slide against the floor, her little feet fast as lightning to get the door for you, giggling the whole way.
“Oh wow,” the younger sibling looks at you in awe “You look beautiful like a princess!”
“Awe, thank you, Abby” You walk through the doorframe, “Mike are you ready? We need to leave in the next ten if you want to drop Abby off and be on time!”
He walked out of the bathroom, flicking the light off as he exited and looking down the hall, about to tell his sister to put on her shoes he stopped in his tracks. He couldn’t look anywhere but you. ‘Fuck’ he thought, ‘you look so beautiful’ Your hair done just right, a matching green mid-length dress that was tight to your curves, hugging every inch of your body, strappy silver heels that he knew would make you slightly taller than his small frame. Abby was right, you do look like a princess.
You suddenly noticed Mike's eyes on you, pulling away from your conversation with Abby, feeling slightly bad for cutting off her story about her new robot animal friends. “Is everything okay?” Mike didn’t answer, zoned out in his thoughts, “Do I look that bad?”
Feeling super self-conscious, you start to fold your arms on your body, trying to hide as much as possible. Mike immediately notices your body language change.
“No, you look so beautiful. That dress fits you really well.” Mike spoke softly, afraid of looking anywhere other than your eyes as if you’d be able to read his mind if he looked away.
“Thank you, Mike, you don’t look so bad yourself.” You eyed him up and down, his brown curls more pronounced, uncommonly neat, and taken care of, his matching tie slightly crooked, a small white handkerchief pinned to the front. “Very handsome”
Abby pulled you both away from your thoughts, finding it silly that you both just stared at one another not really speaking in full sentences. “Why are you guys looking at each other like that, it’s weird.”
Mike looked away first, embarrassed that a child called him out, “Abs go put your shoes on and grab your stuff, we’re going to be late.”
“Can’t I just come with you guys? I’ll be good, I promise!”
“I’m sorry Abby, my brother doesn’t want any kids coming, this is an adult party,” you say trying to make her not feel so bad, “but I promise you’ll have so much fun at Vanessa’s, don’t tell her I told you her secret but she’s buying pizza AND cookies”
The younger sibling looked at you with big eyes and a toothy grin, scurrying off to her room, singing ‘pizza and cookies’ over and over until she made it to the doorway.
“Ready?” you asked Mike as you started following Abby to the car, Mike grabbed his wallet and locked the door behind him as he followed you to your car.
~~~
The car ride wasn’t as awkward as you thought it would be, at first it was small talk, Mike asking questions about your job and your boyfriend, Parker, and what he does for work.
You turned into childhood stories, you telling him about your first kiss, which was with your middle school boyfriend and you both came in way too fast. “There is no way you broke your tooth!” “I did, It took me three weeks of it missing before my parents could get an appointment for me to fix it.” you reply giggling, “I had the worst lisp and it was the most embarrassing time of my life.”
“I’m sure it was cute, I would have loved to see it”
“You would’ve laughed at me, my brother called me Mike Tyson for months, even after I fixed it.”
Mike chuckled as he turned into the venue, trying to find a parking space. The hour-long drive went by quickly. Now your nerves were starting to appear, seeing all of your perfect family congregating at the entrance and talking with each other, wearing expensive clothes, topped with expensive jewelry. Not ready for them to pick apart your looks, personality, and everything else that they can think of. Mike noticed your anxiety and grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly.
“We could always go back if you want. We can sleep over at my house and order some Chinese food.”
“As great as that sounds, my brother would probably beat me up over me missing this” You squeezed Mike’s hand, “Let’s just go and get this over with.” You step out of the car and grab your purse, waiting for Mike at the front of the car, he collects his things and stands in front of you. You grab his tie, quickly straightening it. You finished and looked up at him, keeping your hands on his chest. You looked up to Mike, suddenly feeling embarrassed that you two were so close together.
You never noticed how nice Mike’s body was. He was always wearing something baggy, usually torn, his black suit was the nicest you’ve seen him in. ‘He was so handsome’ you thought. You pulled your hands from his chest, “Ready?”
Mike grabbed your hand, face turning a light shade of red at the intimate contact, interlacing both of your fingers together. Smiling to himself, “I’m ready”
~~~
The ceremony was beautiful. Everything seemed to go perfectly for your brother and his new wife, watching the two from the front row. Mike wrapped his hand around your waist during the vows, handing you his handkerchief after watching you shed a few tears. You leaned into the contact, feeling comfort in Mike’s arms. You stand up with everyone else and watch your brother and his wife walk hand in hand down the aisle, cheering and clapping loudly. After a few moments, you and Mike followed your family, grabbing his hand instinctively.
You find your seat at the table, set down your purse, and ask Mike if he wants a drink from the bar, making your way up front after he answers. You turn around with your drinks, stopping when you see your mom sitting next to Mike at your table.
‘Oh shit,’ you muttered to yourself, slowing your pace and hoping she’ll be gone by the time you make it back. You try to read her as you walk back, her face is soft as Mike speaks and suddenly they both start laughing. No one you’ve ever dated has ever made your mom laugh, she looked nice like that, you haven’t seen her like that since before her divorce.
You sit on the opposite side of Mike, handing him the glass. “Hi, Mom”
“Hi sweetheart, you look nice!”
“Thank you” You were stunned, you couldn’t remember the last time your mom complimented you.
“I was just talking to Mike, he’s the sweetest thing! He was just telling me about his sister. She sounds so cute.”
You looked over at Mike, who was smirking towards you. He stood up, telling you both he was going to find a bathroom, squeezing your shoulder softly as he left the table. You smiled at him and watched him walk away.
“I like him!” your mom finally spoke, once Mike got far enough away
“Really?”
“Of course, he’s handsome and he’s funny. He seems to like you. I think he’s a good fit for you,” you shivered at the nice comments from your mother, not often hearing such things. “You better not screw this one up.”
“Thanks, Mom, I won’t”
You smiled at her as she walked away telling you she was going to find your aunt to talk about how ugly the centerpiece arrangements your brother’s mother-in-law picked out were, you laughed, there was your mom.
You sat there alone with your thoughts. You were thinking about what would happen if you were actually with Mike. You could imagine coming home to him after work every morning, making him and Abby breakfast, and falling asleep with him after a long day. You don’t do that with Parker, you hardly see him, his job keeping him away from you for weeks at a time.
Mike sat back down, disrupting your thoughts. “How did I do?” motioning towards your mom, who was across the room rolling her eyes at something your aunt said.
“You did great, she really liked you. She didn’t say anything negative the whole time she was at the table!” Your eyes were wide, excited to tell Mike how the unusual interaction went.
Before he could reply, your brother and his wife walked into the room hand in hand, getting set in the middle of the dance floor to start the first dance. A slow song started to play, and they danced hand in hand, him twirling her around every once in a while. The song finished with a kiss, everyone cheering for them and they started to wave at everyone to come up and dance, the song changing to something more upbeat. You grab Mike’s hand, rushing to the middle of the room. You both started dancing, laughing at how bad dancers you both were.
Eventually, everyone was called back to the tables as dinner was about to start. You sat down next to Mike, taking a sip of your water, laughing about something he said as you both sat down.
“I’ve never danced like that before,” Mike said after finishing off his water, slightly out of breath
“God, me either. I’m exhausted and my feet hurt”
“You want me to rub them for you baby?”
“Maybe later,” you winked, smirking towards him.
Mike smirked back, knowing that he would hold you to that. He watched you all night, watching the way you danced, swaying your body to the beat of every song, slight sweat growing on your body, the way your eyes squinted and you threw your head back every time someone said something funny. You looked so beautiful and in your element, comfortable and confident.
~~~
After dinner you walked up to the DJ, whispering a request for him. He smiled, picked up a mic, and started to tap on it lightly, grabbing everyone’s attention.
“ladies and gentlemen, with dinner wrapping up, I’d like to slow it down just a little bit”
Like Real People Do by Hozier started playing.
Mike watched you walk back to the table, standing next to him putting your hand on his shoulder. “may I have this dance, sir?” you say holding out your hand, giggling to Mike.
“of course, m’lady,” Mike says, holding your hand and leading the way to the floor. He took one of your hands in his, his other one holding tightly on your waist. You both start to sway with the music, looking towards Mike who starts to speak.
“I think we’re going to be the only ones to dance to this song.” You looked around noticing everyone still placed in their seats, eyes glued toward you both.
You nodded, staying silent and continuing to move around. You move both of your hands up to his neck, interlocking your fingers behind his head, him holding you close at his waist.
You just stared at him in disbelief, days ago you remembered him telling you he doesn’t dance. Now here he was, slow dancing to your favorite song in front of your entire family. He looked into your eyes, they were softer than you’ve ever seen them. He looked comfortable, happy, relaxed. He looked towards your lips, licking his own.
‘Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips,
we should just kiss like real people do.’
Using all the confidence you built tonight, you leaned your head forward to Mike’s, kissing him softly. Mike didn’t waste a moment, kissing you back with so much passion. This was the best kiss you’ve ever had. You both grinned at each other as you pulled away. You stepped closer to him, resting your head on his chest. All you could think about was his lips on yours, how you wanted this moment forever.
“Thank you for coming, I’m having a great time, and my family really likes you”
“I’m glad I could help, I’d do anything for you”
The song finished and you reluctantly pulled away from Mike, you heard a few people clap and you looked up from his gauze, noticing your family was grinning, smiling, throwing a few thumbs up in your direction. You laughed and bowed towards everyone, walking back towards the table.
“You want to go back to the hotel room?” Mike asked, taking the cue from a few of the other guests grabbing their belongings and saying their goodbyes.
“Yeah, let’s go” You grab your stuff and head up to the table where your brother and his best man are sitting, telling him to stand up to hug you goodbye.
You hugged your brother, giving him congratulations as you did so. He whispered in your ear before he let go. “I like him a lot more than Parker”
You just smiled and held a finger to your lips. “I do too but don’t spill my secrets”
You grabbed Mike's hand and walked to the front of the venue, he stopped you outside, bending down to take off your shoes knowing they weren’t very comfortable anymore. The small action makes you blush, thinking about how kind it was of him to remember the conversation from earlier. He held onto your shoes for you the entire walk down to the car, the cold grass feeling cool on your skin. He opened the car door for you, waiting for you to get in before shutting the door for you.
You were in our own world as he drove down the road to the hotel. You were thankful that Mike was here with you, you couldn’t imagine yourself being with anyone else right now and that was a problem. You had a someone else, who right now didn’t exist to you, and you racked your brain on the best way to end it. You in good conscience, couldn’t continue your relationship with Parker, ready to end it with a quick text right then and there and deciding to at least wait until the morning.
“Your brain okay?” Mike jokes, pulling you from your thoughts, “You’re thinking way to hard about something over there and you better not let it ruin your night, you’re mean when you’re cranky”
You giggle, looking into his coffee colored eyes, getting super serious grabbing his hand and squeezing, “Nothing could ruin tonight”
~~~
You threw yourself down on the bed, lying down while mumbling something about needing a shower. Mike set the overnight beds on the table in the corner of the room.
“You can take the first shower if you want Mike, I might take a nap while I wait”
Mike chuckled and started to collect his things for the shower, glancing over at you, laying on your back with your feet hanging off the bed, hand over your eyes to cover the light in the room.
Mike was sad the night was over, wanting to continue to be close to you in every way imaginable. He saw the strap of your dress had fallen on one side, the dress slightly raising higher and higher on your thighs with every swing of your legs.
“You know,” Mike started, You pulled your arm away from your face, turning your whole body to look at him, humming in response, “that massage is still on the table if you want one.”
You felt your body get hot, the thought of Mike rubbing all over your body started to turn you on, and you felt butterflies form in the pit of your stomach.
“If you’re willing, I wouldn’t turn you down.”
Mike moved across the room embarrassingly quickly, wanting to touch you before you changed your mind. You chuckled at his eagerness, knowing he wanted this as much as you did.
“Lie down on your stomach, I’ll give you the best massage of your life.”
You flip over on your stomach, arms crossed with your head resting on top of them. Your breath hitches when you feel Mike’s hand touch your calf, putting pressure down with his thumb making small circles.
You felt yourself relax at his touch, every grip of his hands pushing you into a frenzy. You hummed when you felt his hands move from your calf to your thigh, his grip getting stronger and tighter when he realized you weren’t going to stop him.
Mike heard your soft moans as he pressed into your skin. He loved hearing your sounds, he felt himself growing hard in his bottoms knowing he was making you feel so good. He moved to your back starting from the bottom of your back, headed towards your shoulder blades.
You leaned up to sit on your knees, making Mike stop in his tracks.
“Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” seeing Mike upset and immediately thinking the worst, you put a comforting hand on his arm.
“No, it felt amazing, I just felt like something was in the way” You reach behind you, gripping the zipper of your dress and slowly pulling it down. You slipped the straps of the dress down, the top of the dress slipping below your breasts. You looked up at Mike, his eyes hooded and glossed over. ‘holy shit’ he says low, so low you can barely hear it.
“What's wrong baby, you’ve never seen boobs before?” You see the clogs in his brain turning, trying to form words, occasionally looking down from your face to take a quick glance at your exposed nipples, hardening in the cold air.
He leaned down to your face, his lips barely glazing yours, one hand coming up to cup your cheek, his other hand reaching to pinch your nipple, rolling it between his fingers. “Is this okay?”
You nod in response leaning forward, closing the gap between you two, kissing him with so much need. You let your hands travel to the buttons on his shirt, finishing and sliding the top down his shoulders.
Mike was quick, thinking about this moment one too many times, thinking about your boyfriend and how he’s going to make you forget about him, thinking about if this were the only opportunity he would ever get he would make sure to go all out, making sure you dream about him the way he does you.
He pulls away and pushes you down on the bed, he pulls the dress down your legs removing it the rest of the way and tossing it down to the floor. “Tell me if anything gets to be too much.”
“Fuck, you’re so sexy.” He toys with the lace on your underwear, leaning down to plant kisses on your thighs.
You feel his fingers move down to touch your clothed clit, rubbing softly. You push your hips up, feeling your body feel with need, wanting more.
You lace your fingers in his hair as he starts to leave hickeys on your sensitive thighs. “Fuck Mike I need-” You take a deep breath unable to formulate words.
Mike looks up from his place on your thighs, moving his head towards your pussy. “Tell me what you need, pretty girl.”
The name sent butterflies in every part of your body, you could feel yourself growing needier every second passed by. Your nipples were painfully hard and you could feel how soaked you were through your underwear. He continued to rub your clit, underwear molding to your shape.
You took a deep breath, tears starting to form at the corners of your eyes “Please more, I need you to touch me, however you want. just need more”
Mike pulled your underwear to the side, finally touching you, fingers falling from your clit to your dripping hole. “Look at this pretty pussy, s’all wet just for me?”
He pulled his finger away and placed it in your mouth, “Suck” You leaned forward sucking his fingers with everything you had, swirling your tongue around.
Mike looked up from your pussy, peeping up from his eyelashes to watch you suck his fingers. He was painfully hard, thinking about your mouth around his cock, eyes full of tears and drool dripping from your swollen lips.
He leaned down to lick from your hole to your clit, taking his time. He wanted you to know that you were the only thing on his mind, and you did, he started to eat you out like he was starved and this was his last meal. pulling you close until his hands gripped your thighs so hard you were sure to have bruises, nose rubbing your clit, everything adding up to the knot in your stomach.
“Fuck baby, you taste so fucking good. Could taste this pussy every fucking day.” You tugged on his curls harder, each word spurring you on, getting you closer and closer.
“Fuck baby, I’m so close”
He hummed and added a finger to your tight hole “You going to cum for me, baby? Cum on my mouth like a good girl, so good for me”
Your thighs squeezed him as you came, letting out a loud moan. He continued to lick and suck, drawing your orgasm out longer. It started to become too much and you pulled him back to face you. You kissed him, feeling his wet stubble on your face, reaching your hand down to his pants and rubbing your fingers over his clothed cock.
With shaking hands you started to undo his belt, flipping you both over until you were between his thighs. Pulling his pants down, Mike kicked them off, and you stared at him in awe at his size. You took him in his hand, starting to rub slowly, not breaking eye contact.
He grabbed your face, and squeezed your cheeks together, forcing your mouth open “Can I?” You stuck your tongue out in response, eyes full of lust.
Suddenly a long trail of spit left his and entered yours, “Use it, pretty girl” You kept your mouth sitting up on your knees to get face to face with his cock, and you let the mixture of spit fall from your mouth, making a mess on his lap. Your hand started to move quicker with the added lube, you leaned forward. Licking from the bottom all the way to the top, one of your hands leaving his thighs to make your way to his balls. You started to tease him and sucked only the tip, Mike's hips jerked forward in response, forcing you to take more in your warm mouth.
You started to pick up your pace, taking in as much as you possibly could his groans spurred you on to take even more, “‘s so fucking sexy seeing my dick in your mouth, want to fuck that throat so bad” He collected your hair into a makeshift ponytail, grip tight. You pulled off looking above you to see Mike’s tightly closed eyes, your hand replacing your lips, keeping pace with what you made with your mouth.
“Do it”
Mike opened his eyes quickly, “Are you sure?”
“Stand up and fuck my throat baby, ‘s alright”
Mike stood upright, keeping his grip on your hair as you shifted your body around to get comfortable.
“Just smack my leg if it gets to be too much pretty girl”
You nodded in response, wasting no time opening your mouth for his cock, placing both hands on his legs, gripping tight in preparation for what was about to come.
Mike went right to work, shoving in and out quickly, getting spurred on by the tears and sounds coming from you. Pushing your head back and forth in a bobbing motion, gagging every time he pressed as deep as possible.
“Look so pretty with my dick in your mouth” He pulled your mouth off him, and you moved your hand from his thigh to stroke him. He took a moment to look at your cockdrunk expression. Lips puffy, tear-stained cheeks, your chest breathing in and out heavily. “You going to let me cum in your mouth baby? Tell me, pretty girl, tell me what you want”
He felt your grip on his dick tighten, you moved one of your hands to touch yourself over your lace panties, feeling your wetness soaked through at his words. “Yes sir, want your cum in my mouth.”
You went right back to work, lips wrapping tightly around his dick. You gave him head as your life depended on it, needing to see how he looked while he came, what sounds he’d make, what mess he'd make.
You started to feel Mike’s hips falter, his once strong movements becoming staggered and you knew he was close. “Fuck- I’m coming. Fucking take it.” You looked up at him, dick pressed far down your throat, feeling the hot liquid start to seep out the sides of your mouth. “Swallow all of it. That’s my good girl”
Mike let go of the grip on your hair and pulled out of your mouth, wincing at the overstimulation. He pulled you up to lay on your back on the bed, leaning over you. You watched Mike’s fingers on your thigh, collecting the spilled cum that fell from your mouth, and placing them in his mouth. The salty liquid kept in his mouth until he leaned his lips towards yours, you opened your mouth with anticipation. A long string of cum filled spit falling into your eager mouth, gulping instinctively.
“Had to make sure you swallowed all of it” he murmured before pressing his lips roughly to yours. You laced your fingers around his neck, pulling him down further, needing to be closer to him. You moaned when he pulled away to start kissing your neck, sucking and biting to mark you up. He pulled your underwear off and started to rub his dick against you, feeling your hips joining him in the motions.
You were in a state of bliss, never even thinking this feeling was a possibility. Mike handling you like his own personal fuck toy, marking you up to show you off, his cock grinding against your clit like he was going to cum just like that. You push him off of you, flipping him over to get on top, straddling his thighs. You lined his dick up to your entrance, going at a slow pace to adjust to his size, stopping to steady yourself when you got to the end, hands on his chest with your eyes closed.
Mike was patient, as much as he wanted to destroy you and your tight pussy, he wanted you to feel good. He kept one hand on your hip, keeping you steady, moving the other one to your clit, trying to help get you comfortable. Almost immediately you moaned and started to move your hips, painfully slow up and down.
“You look so beautiful like this, stuffed full of my cock.” Mike’s hands moved to your hips, helping you move faster and faster. With your pretty tits in his face and your tight cunt wrapped around him, eyes rolling back in your head and your moans loud enough the entire hotel could hear you.
“Fuck daddy, you feel so fucking good” Mike groaned at your voice. The name causes him to rut his hips up to meet yours, causing you to fall forward, holding onto his shoulders. His pace was fast and rough, hands in a tight grip on your sides, nibbling on your neck as he pounds into you, bringing you closer and closer to your orgasm. “You going to cum on daddy’s cock? Let me feel you, baby, show me how good I make you feel.”
“Gonna cum daddy, s’ fucking good” You moan in his ear, nails digging into his skin as you come undone, mumbling a string of thank yous. Mike’s movements start to slow down, trying to give you a moment to recover.
With your breath heavy, you bring your lips to Mike’s as you slowly pull off of him. You pull away from the kiss and both hiss at the loss of contact, you sit up on your knees, locking your eyes with his own.
“Want you to bend me over,” Your voice is soft as you slowly start to bend over, arching your back “and make me take it hard.”
He is quick to get behind you, taking his dick in his hands and rubbing it up and down your wet slit. “my pretty fucking pussy” You push back at his teasing movements, clit pulsing and eyes rolling back.
“Mike please”, you beg. He brings his hand down and suddenly you feel a sharp sting on your ass, yelping in surprise. “Come on pretty girl, you can do better than that.”
“Daddy please, I need you- need your cock. Need you to fill me up and-” Your words were cut off, Mike pushing deep into you, moving quickly, causing you to lose your breath.
He grabs your hips and starts to pull you back onto him as he slams deep inside, hitting that spot inside you. “Fuck baby, taking it so good for me”
He grabs your hair in his hands, pulling your back to be flush to his chest. He nibbles at your earlobe and places his hand on your neck, squeezing lightly.
The feeling was unbearable, the room filled with deep breaths and skin on skin. Goosebumps cover your skin as Mike’s grip on your throat gets tighter. You could feel your orgasm approaching, tears forming in your eyes.
“Taking me so well baby” You moan, his praise pushing you closer. “Tight little pussy fits so well around my cock”
“Fuck- ‘m cumming” You feel your body unravel, thighs shaking as you start to see spots. Mike lets you go and you fall forward. He gives you three deep thrusts before his pace starts to fall, signaling he’s close. “Me too baby, me too”
He gives one last deep push and releases deep inside you. You both lay there for a few moments, panting and euphoric. He groans as he pulls out and you turn to lie on your side, watching him as he walks to the bathroom. He comes back with a warm washcloth, wiping you down. He sets it on the table once he’s finished and sits down beside you, moving your head so it can rest in his lap as he starts to play with your hair.
You lean up to kiss him, biting his lip as you pull away, smiling to yourself as you notice he’s growing hard again. You stand up, legs slightly wobbly. “Care to join me?” you smirked towards him as you sauntered towards the bathroom, hips slightly swinging. Mike watches as you walk away, eyes lingering all over your body. You turned to face him as you reached the doorway, waiting for him to follow you.
“We’re definitely going to take advantage of the late checkout” He chuckles as he stands from his spot to start round two in the shower.
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ham-st4r · 11 months
Text
𝑨𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 - 𝑳. 𝑯𝒆𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒖𝒏𝒈
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𓆩♡𓆪pairing: heeseung + female reader!
𓆩♡𓆪warnings: smut, unprotected sex, oral male receiving, cum eating, amazon position, angst, fluff, heartbreak, break up, crying, cursing, sub heeseung! Jake playing match maker, heeseung is a big momma’s boy and a lil jungkook slander cause why not? lol I think that’s it.
𓆩♡𓆪summary: with your reputation of being a heartbreaker and a player, you find yourself finally breaking away from the terrible title after years, but what happens when the lonely nerd at your school catches your eye? Will he be your next unsuspecting victim, or will he be your last stop?
𓆩♡𓆪genre: smut, mature content read at your discretion, romance, tear jerker, inspired by Miley Cyrus - angels like you.
Number of words: 18,811k
Find your way around!
Message at the end contains spoilers, so please read the story before proceeding to the end.
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“Okay, hear me out,” you say to your best friend Jake, whose currently sitting in front of you, stuffing his face with the god-awful food they serve in the cafeteria.
“NO,” he says after taking a drink of his water.
“But -“
“I said NO,” Jake repeated and gave you a look, one that said (Don’t start your bullshit again.)
It had been a while since your last victim, and since then, you swore that you were done with your old ways of being a heartbreaker. You even promised Jake you wouldn’t do it anymore cause you knew how much time you two spent apart whenever you went on one of your man-eating sprees, and you knew just how much he hated it.
But how could you resist the temptation of the boy sitting in the corner sipping on his apple juice while looking out the window?
You had your eye on him for a while now, but you never told Jake that, of course, and as much as you tried not to, you just couldn’t help but be attracted to the boy.
Only visually, of course. You haven’t been seriously interested in anyone since your ex.
Said attraction was named lee heeseung, and he fit your criteria perfectly from head to toe.
You watched his big round curious eyes, looking at all the friend groups throughout the cafeteria. After a while of envying them, he looked down and played with his fingers sighing to himself.
He looked so lonely sitting there all by himself, so why not give him some company?
Without saying anything, you stood up from your chair walking over to his table.
“If you talk to him, we’re done being friends,” Jake threatens you, but you know it’s all talk, and he’d be up texting you late at night like he always did, talking about his latest developments with his crush.
You just ignored him and continued to walk towards the wide-eyed confused-looking gentleman in the corner of the cafeteria. You pulled out an empty chair and sat next to him as he scooted further into the corner. “Hi, I’m y/n,” you say in the softest voice you could possibly muster.
He sat there frozen. You noticed his chest rising and falling rapidly and the nervous tapping of his foot as he looked around the cafeteria, wondering why, out of all the free seats, you decided to sit with him.
No one had ever sat with him before, not even in preschool. He was an outcast everywhere he went. He was like a walking people repellent.
So why, out of all the years of him seemingly being the world's most hated person, you decided to break that cycle by sitting next to him?
Before he got too lost in thought more than he already was, he certainly recognized your face, and it didn’t take long for him to connect the dots with you and your very, very poor reputation, and he didn’t want to be linked to a person like you at all.
He quickly got up from his seat, nearly knocking it over in the process while running out from the cafeteria, leaving you somewhat surprised but not really. You figured he probably knew what you were about from all the rumors people spread about you that all happened to be true, but you didn’t care, and neither did all the other unsuspecting boys you hooked up with cared well, until you broke their hearts, but this one seemed a little different.
You glanced over to your friend, and you couldn’t help but smile when you saw him laughing hysterically at your failure. You walked back over to Jake, sitting in your original seat. “Finally, someone that doesn’t want you.”
“Oh, he does. Just give me some time,” you replied, taking his apple from his tray, and he didn’t even bother stopping you from your daily routine.
“That confidence would be admirable, but right now, it’s just revolting,” he fake gagged. Hearing this from him didn’t surprise you one bit. In your many years of friendship, Jake always told you the truth, one of the many reasons you two became such good friends, and he was the only one that saw through all your bullshit, including how you did a complete 180 after your first relationship had ended.
Which ended bad, hell, bad was an understatement.
Jake remembers seeing you at your lowest point, crying your heart out cause the man you thought loved you had broken up with you for the “new popular girl” and told you he was only ever into you for your looks.
Of course, that made you feel like shit. It made you feel like you were just a piece of eye candy, and you never meant anything to him, and you’d never mean anything to anyone else, either.
It was hard not to believe that wasn’t the truth when you did everything for him, yet he still broke up with you.
So from then on, you decided to use the one thing your ex told you you did have, which was your looks. You used it to your sick advantage picking, unsuspecting men to lay with and ditch them in the morning ever since your ex-boyfriend you swore off relationships and decided from here on out you were going to make it your goal to break the hearts of many men making all the guys out there suffer because of what your boyfriend did to you.
All men were the same anyway, no different from your ex, and before they broke your heart, you’d break theirs just for revenge and maybe a sprinkle of your own enjoyment.
Jake was literally the only guy you got close to cause he was your childhood friend, but any other guys were ripe for your picking.
“Thanks, Jake,” your voice was laced with sarcasm as you bit into your (his) apple.
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So the first attempt was a complete fail, you admit, but that didn’t stop you from making several.
The school halls had emptied out, and you knew heeseung was always last to leave to avoid the crowd being the awkward boy he was. You noticed this cause you always did the same exact thing, which you were mentally patting yourself on the back for cause it gave you this golden opportunity to stalk your prey.
He was humming a familiar tune while you silently watched him placing his books inside his locker until you made him jump in his place at the startling sound of your voice. “Hey”
He quickly turned around, gasping in shock at how close you were, which resulted in him accidentally dropping all his books to the ground.
You were quick to pick them up, and so was he. He bent down with you as you helped him pick them up one by one, you giggled when you spotted a romance novel amongst many other books. He silently prayed you wouldn’t see it, but he knew that was impossible cause it was on top of the other books you had neatly stacked and handed to him after rising to his shoulder level.
He hugged the books to his chest, pushing up the bridge of his glasses and awkwardly thanking you for helping him even though you were the cause of the accident.
He tried to walk past you, completely forgetting about putting his books away and shutting his locker door, but you stood in front of him, blocking his path.
A shaky sigh passed his lips as he looked down at you.
You always knew he was a cutie, but you had never seen him this close. He looked breath taking, and you couldn’t help but notice the adorable dangly earrings he was wearing. “What are you doing after school?” You asked, smiling up at him.
He faltered a bit from the queasy feeling he felt rising in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t want to say something stupid to you or embarrass himself, so he kept his answer short and to the point. “Study,” a cold tone accompanied the word, and his eyes widened in panic. He didn’t intend for it to come out sounding so rude.
Leave it to him to make a fool of himself with just one word. He was just trying to sound confident, but obviously, he failed. “I usually study for an hour when I get home,” he added softly, hoping you’d understand that he wasn’t trying to sound mean in the first place.
“Same,” you replied, contrary to the rumors of you not paying attention in class. You were actually quite smart, and you loved to learn. You just didn’t listen to your stupid boring teacher and his dumb way of teaching. If it wasn’t for getting a degree, you would have never even attended school.
“Really?!” He asked enthusiastically, surprising himself and you, but when it came to studying and school, it didn’t take much to get him excited.
You nodded with a small smile.
He looked down slightly. He didn’t know what else to say now to keep the conversation going, if you even wanted to call it that.
Unfortunately, this had always been a big problem for him. He was happy to answer any questions, which is probably the reason he’s always the first one raising his hand in class, confidently stating the answer and going into way more detail than he needed to, which pleased all his teachers but not the other students that were groaning in boredom every time he did so.
But right now, for the first time in his life, he was actually happy to have been at a loss for words cause he realized that, in all actuality, he shouldn’t be getting close to someone like you, so with a tiny shake of his head he turned back to his locker and placed his books inside before locking it he was about to walk away, but you stopped him once again, and he let out a little panicked squeak.
“Maybe we could study together sometime?” you innocently tilted your head to the side, waiting for his response to your offer.
He gulped as his eyes trailed down to your lips, that held a tiny smile. He couldn’t lie.
The offer sounded great. Who wouldn’t want to be accompanied by someone while doing their most favorite thing in the world and on top of that, you were so so pretty, and that’s what made him realize you were far too pretty for him, to put it simply, he was a loser so why would a smart, beautiful girl like you even give him the time of day and him being the smart boy he is instantly formulated the correct answer.
He heard all about you, knowing that any guy you talked to only ended up with a shattered heart and broken ego, and he was smart enough not to be like the rest, so he politely declined your offer once more. “I don’t think we should” his whole body shook with nerves. This was the first time he ever really stood his ground on something.
You fake pouted, trying to use your looks to make him give in, but you could tell he wasn’t going to, at least not yet. “Why?” You said in a sad tone.
He hated how weak his knees felt at the cute expression your face held, but he knew it was all just bait, and he wasn’t about to take it. “I’m just really busy so…” he trailed off as the air surrounding you both began to feel stuffy.
“So you can’t make time for me?” You ghosted your finger up his necktie, looking at him with puppy eyes.
His eyes darted to your fingers playing with his tie, and by now, he was sweaty due to how nervous you were making him. The last time he talked to a girl this long was the lunch date he took his mom out on last week.
He used every muscle in his body to pull himself out of this trance you had him in and moved his tie away from you. “P-please just let me by,” he stuttered helplessly, staring down at you with an uneasy expression on his face.
You moved aside and decided to let him go for now. You didn’t want to scare him off. You knew he’d come around sooner or later, but you figured with him, it’d most definitely be later.
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“So, how about you?” You and Jake sat at the park bench. He had just finished telling you the details of how he scored a date with his crush next Friday, and you were happy for him. He’d been eyeing her for quite some time now, and you were happy that she reciprocated his feelings. “How’s it coming along?” He was currently asking you about your latest mission.
“He’s playing hard to get,” you scoffed and folded your arms.
“Or maybe he just doesn’t want to be got,” Jake says. “Everyone knows how you are.”
“He’s a nerd with zero friends, probably is a virgin, and literally has conversations with himself about astronomy stutters, and to top it all off, he keeps romantic novels in his fucking locker,” you deadpan. “He definitely wants to get got.”
“Ouch, imagine how he’d feel if he heard that” Jake empathized with the boy who he had never even spoken to a day of his life.
“He’d probably tell his mom and cry about it. That’s how much of a fucking loser he is,” you say with absolutely zero emotion.
You didn’t notice the concern written on your friend's face. This definitely wasn’t the y/n he knew back then. You never cursed, let alone made fun of people for being slightly different than others. Sometimes Jake would question his friendship with you after everything that happened with your ex, and so would others. He’d get weird stares from the whole school just by being seen with you, but that's not why he questioned it.
He questioned it for who you’ve become. He wonders how he even stayed beside you this whole time, especially after you cut him off for a whole year and then came back as an emotionless man-eater.
But he soon figured out why he stuck around. He knows deep down you’re still that sweet innocent person he met in grade school. He knows you’re still the y/n he became best friends with. He just hopes one day you’ll see your worth and not let that bastard of an ex-boyfriend still control you even after being out of your life for years.
Jake really had hoped that one of the guys you hooked up with would somehow be the one someone who could repair your broken heart. Of course, he never told you that, but even now, as you made fun of whoever this heeseung guy is, he still had this hope that maybe just maybe, he could sweep you off your feet and save you from this never-ending state of hurt and pure denial that you were in every since your ex broke up with you.
You were too lost in thought you didn’t even notice that Jake had stopped talking to you long ago.
Just then, you saw heeseung walking out of school, fingers clutching onto his backpack as he looked to be heading home for the day. “Gotta run” You left Jake behind and fastened your pace to catch up with your prey.
“Go get ‘em,” Jake sighed and watched you disappear in the distance. "There she goes."
“Hello again,” you chimed after catching up to heeseung.
“H-hi,” he gripped his bag tighter and moved away from you slightly. He didn’t want to be rude, so he greeted you as politely as he could despite his better judgment to just run to the other side of the road.
“Sorry about yesterday” You apologize for your actions towards him even though not an ounce of it was sincere. “And the day before that,” you added with an airy laugh.
He was pleasantly surprised that you were actually apologizing, and it had him rethinking about your personality. Maybe you weren’t as bad as the rumors made you out to be. “It’s okay,” he assured you.
“I guess I can be overbearing at times,” you nodded to yourself.
He felt bad that you felt the need to apologize because of him. You weren’t overbearing. It’s just he didn’t know how to handle you approaching him so suddenly, and he also didn’t know how to communicate that to you either. “You’re good,” he replied in a whisper.
You smiled at that cause you knew you were already making progress. “I think I maybe know why you’re hesitant to,” you said slowly, referring to him not wanting to study with you. “You’ve heard things.”
He was quick to stop you from your assumption, even if it was true. He didn’t want to make you feel bad about it. It was your life, and you were old enough to make your decisions and own up to your actions. “It’s not that.” He quickly denied.
You laughed quietly. “No, I get it. I wouldn’t want to be seen with me either, but I’m not all bad.”
He figured you couldn’t be, not with such an innocent smile. He heard the rumors, but it couldn’t be that bad, could it? Plus, he’d keep his guard up. It was only studying what could go wrong. And it would be nice to finally have some company every now and then and end this drought of being alone all his life. “What time?” He asked suddenly.
You were shocked that he was already letting his guard down so easily after putting up such a fight in the beginning. “You pick” You smiled brightly at him, and he awkwardly returned it.
“Maybe tomorrow after school. I know you and your friend hang out all the time, so I don’t want to interrupt” At some point during the walk home, he found himself being able to talk to you a little bit more freely, which was very, very uncharacteristic of him but he couldn’t miss his shot.
Long before you got a boyfriend, heeseung was quite fond of you. He stole quick little glances in your direction. He thought you were absolutely breathtaking, and he wanted to talk to you so badly he remembers many times he was so close to just saying you only live once and introducing himself to you.
But before he grew the balls to do so, you apparently had gotten a boyfriend, and he completely backed off. He didn’t want to disrespect you or your relationship, so he gave up on the idea of getting to know you entirely and judging by the way your new boyfriend looked, heeseung figured he never had a chance with you to begin with he was basically the opposite of your boyfriend in every way.
But one day, he overheard talk about your sudden breakup, and that only made him think about making a move on you again, but a new turn of events happened and a few months later, he heard some pretty harsh rumors circulating about you. Word got around his school like wildfire, and just like before, he was going in your opposite direction, knowing he shouldn’t get involved with someone like you, especially with his fragile heart.
But now that he finally got the chance to get to know you a little better and talk to you, he wasn’t going to let this golden opportunity slip away to hell with rumors, and even if you did try to chew him up and spit him out like all the others he was going to be cautious enough for that not to happen to him.
“After school is fine,” you quickly agreed.
“Okay,” he breathed out, and once again, he couldn’t think of anything else to say, but luckily his mom was calling him just in time to avoid the awkward silence that would have ensued. “Sorry,” he apologized to you and laughed awkwardly. You smiled softly while telling him it was alright. “Hi, Mom,” he smiled while taking the call. “Oh, that’s tomorrow?” His smile faded, and he bit his lip at the realization of accidentally making plans without thinking of his schedule first. “Okay…. No, it’s fine, I’ll be home by then… okay, bye, Mom, I love you!” his ears burned from embarrassment after he realized you had been next to him this whole time overhearing his conversation. “I uhh, I actually can’t meet you tomorrow. I promised my mom I’d take her shopping, sorry” he felt slightly guilty for standing you up just a few minutes after making plans, but nothing ever came before his mom.
You discreetly rolled your eyes, so he was the type to go home and cry to his mom. Pathetic, you thought, but you continued to put on your ever-so-convincing show. “No worries. How about Monday?” You say with such an alluring tone, a tone that nearly swept him right off his own two feet.
“Yeah,” he agreed instantly.
“Okay, see you then” You smiled and patted him on his shoulder. He looked at your hand, and you swore you saw him blushing.
“Yeah,” he replied in a daze-like state, still looking at where you had touched him. He’s never been touched by a girl ever, and just the small contact made his stomach do a flip.
“Bye, heeseung,” you waved with a convincing smile.
“Bye, y/n,” he waved back.
Once you turned around, your smile instantly faded. “So gullible,” you said to yourself.
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The study date was rolling around, and normally, you probably would have stopped the chase by now and moved on cause he was boring and not worth your time. He was cute, but his personality was vomit-inducing, but as you slowly broke down his walls brick by brick, the anticipation was building, and you knew by the time you finished with him, there’d be nothing left which would give you the ultimate satisfaction.
You didn’t just want to break him. You wanted to bring him to his knees.
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Heeseung was as nervous as all get up since he’d be meeting with you today. Even though you chatted briefly throughout the week, he couldn’t seem to calm himself down around you.
“Look at you all dressed up,” heeseung’s mom cooed, watching her son fixing a few loose strands of hair in the living room mirror.
He just blushed and the comment and smiled bashfully.
He didn’t think he was too dressed up, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t try a little harder than usual on his appearance. After all, today was the day he’d be studying with his crush.
His mom came closer and fixed the loose knot on his tie, getting a strong whiff of his father's cologne and smiling at his blushing face. “Who is she?” She said teasingly.
He pushed up the bridge of his glasses. There was no point in denying it. His mom could always see right through him anyway. “Her name is y/n. She's from one of my classes,” he explains nervously, fidgeting with his fingers.
His mom nods in understanding and doesn’t ask too many questions. She knew it’d only make him even more fidgety. “Don’t be nervous, pumpkin. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you,” she reassures him kissing his cheek and sending him off with his lunchbox and his favorite apple juice.
“Thanks, Mom. I’ll see you later” he smiled and headed off to school.
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Today is the day you thought.
Your place of business was at the school library, where your target unsuspectingly sat in the corner reading a huge textbook with his round frames perched atop his pointy nose.
You approached him slowly, and he noticed you in the corner of his eye. He quickly stood up once he noticed your presence and pulled out the chair next to him, gesturing for you to take a seat. “Hi, y/n,” he mustered up the courage to greet you first after you sat down.
“Hey, heeseung,” you said his name sweetly, and you could definitely see the blush on his face. You couldn’t help but wonder how just, within a few days, he had gotten more comfortable and completely let his guard down while he was around you.
Truth be told, after your apology for your earlier interactions with him, he felt a little more comfortable around you and figured people just liked to exaggerate when it came to spreading misinformation about you.
So far, from what he could see, none of those rumors had even been true, and you were a perfectly nice person.
“So what w-would you like to start off with?” He cleared his throat and lowered his head, feeling ashamed that he could barely even talk to you without stuttering.
“How about your favorite subject?” as soon as the words left your lips, he smiled brightly, maybe even a little too brightly.
“I’m so glad you asked!” He giddily rummaged through his bag, taking out loads of books and showing them to you excitedly, one by one, reading each of the titles to you out loud.
You smiled faintly. You’ve never seen someone so excited to study, not even Jake.
This was going to be interesting.
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Three whole hours passed by, and to your surprise, you were actually having a really nice time. He patiently explained the things to you that you didn’t understand. His voice was soft and delicate as he took his own sweet time reading through paragraph after paragraph with perfect punctuation.
“Have you ever thought about being a teacher?” You asked genuinely curious cause he was scarily good at it. You learned more in these three hours with him than you had in all your other classes combined.
He blushed slightly and looked up at you. “M-me?” He pointed his index finger to his chest, and you nodded softly. “No, no, I could never,” he chuckled and shrunk back in his seat.
“Why’s that? You’re literally better than all my teachers, especially Jeon Jung, stupid kook” You rolled your eyes, causing heeseung to chuckle.
“He’s my least favorite too. He has such an odd way of explaining things. He makes everything more complicated than it really is,” you laughed along with him.
He looked at you, getting distracted by your pretty smile before he cleared his throat and answered your original question. “I don’t know. I just don’t think I could be. I’m sure, as you can see, not a lot of people like me, so…” he looked away from you, and you took note of the sadness in his eyes.
Instead of comforting him, you took his act of vulnerability and used it to your advantage. If this was years ago, you would have never even thought about doing something so evil but the new you didn’t care. “I like you” You put your hand on his thigh and rubbed it softly.
His breath hitched at your movement, and he looked down at your hand, swallowing thickly. “Y-you do?” He questioned, his tone slightly higher than before.
“How wouldn’t I?” you leaned into him closer, so close that your thigh was touching his, as you whispered to him. “You’re smart. You’re tall and handsome” You looked into his eyes and inched your hand up his thigh higher, dangerously high to be in such a public setting.
He looked at your eyes with his glazed-over ones completely transfixed by you. “You really think so?” You could smell the faint mint on his breath. That’s just how close you had gotten to him.
His eyes flickered to your lips as you reduced the space between the both of you to just a tiny little gap.
“I know so, who wouldn’t want someone as perfect as you?” You could tell he wanted to kiss you from the desperate look in his eyes. As he looked down at your inviting lips, you ghosted your lips over his, and he flinched from the contact.
To say he was nervous would be an understatement he could feel his entire body shaking as he clutched onto the side of his chair, squeezing it for dear life as he tried to press his lip’s against yours, only his glasses somehow slid down his nose at some point and got in the way slightly bumping your nose before your lips could fully meet. “S-sorry,” he quickly apologized with a tiny voice, heart nearly flying out from his rib cage, and as if things couldn’t get any worse, he hiccupped out of nowhere and startled you slightly. “Oh god, sorry, I’m so sorry” his eyes widened in fear as he looked down and held his head in his hands, completely horrified by what just happened. He had finally gotten his chance with you after all these years, and within seconds, he had just ruined it.
You unknowingly smile at his antics. It wasn’t that serious, but he was acting like it was the end of the world, you were thoroughly enjoying how nervous you were making him.
“I’m such an idiot,” he mumbled and started gathering his things, getting ready to leave. “I should go. I’m really sorry” You held his wrist and stopped him from getting up.
“Wait, would you like to try again?” You asked softly. You don’t know why, but you kinda felt bad, and you didn’t want him to go home and be embarrassed over something that there was nothing to even be embarrassed about.
“You w-want to? With me?” He had no idea how you could still even want anything to do with him after that public display of embarrassment.
“Of course, you silly. Who else?” You smiled while taking his glasses off and putting your hand behind his neck, bringing his face closer so you could kiss him properly this time.
He was timid about it at first, but he soon closed his eyes and firmly pressed his lip’s against yours for about three seconds. He leaned back and searched your face for any reaction.
You fluttered your eyes open, smiling at him, and that’s all it took to calm some of his nerves. He closed his eyes and did it again, surprising you with his slight assertiveness, but you gladly accepted his kiss and tugged softly on his hair. He breathed through his mouth, silently inviting you inside. He moaned into your mouth when he felt your tongue swirling around his, and maybe he wasn’t a virgin like you had initially thought cause he was a really good kisser.
He, unfortunately, broke the kiss first, but he had to. He was getting too overwhelmed by the taste of your sweet lips, and if he wasn’t careful enough, then he would have gotten fully hard in the school library. If that happened, he’d never be able to live it down. “Was that good?” He asked, looking at you with wide eyes, curiously waiting for your approval.
You didn’t even answer. You went back in for another kiss squeezing his thigh, and he moaned softly. “Is this okay?” You asked with your lips still on his, inching your hand higher and higher to the tent in his pants.
“Uhh,” he backed away slightly, and you figured you were a bit too eager, so you pulled back some.
“It’s okay. We don’t have to” You lowered your hand, but he quickly grabbed it and placed it over his bulge, groaning when you added slight pressure to the hyper-sensitive area.
“I want to,” he whispers. He knew full well it was way too soon to be engaging in such acts with you, but what could he say? He’s a twenty-one-year-old virgin with hormones that he can’t control.
You were surprised by how hard he was just from kissing you. You continued to palm over his clothed cock, and even through the thick material of his jeans, you could feel that he was big.
You started to have second thoughts about this. You didn’t want this to happen in public, let alone at the school you attended with him nearly every day. You were low, but this would be an all-time low even for you.
You removed your hand from between his legs, but he grabbed your wrist and placed your hand back over his crotch, only for you to move it again. “Why?” He whined.
“Not here, baby. Wanna come to my place?” You rushed out, the make-out session had you quite worked up as well, but in your defense, it had been a while since your last time.
“Yeah, I wanna,” He replied excitedly, packing up the rest of his stuff as quickly as possible.
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You led the way to your apartment, impatiently fidgeting with your keys at the door.
You practically dragged him inside and took him to your bedroom right away. You pushed him back on your bed before he could even register what was happening.
He gasped in pure shock as he watched you quickly getting undressed. His eyes were glued to your body until you unclipped your bra, he hastily covered his eyes before he saw anything.
You giggled at his reaction and walked towards him to move his hands away from his face. The poor baby had gotten so red at just the mere sight of your bare tits, and you’re not sure how he’s gonna be able to handle you with nothing on. “You like?” You asked teasingly, he bit his lip while nodding his head, now shamelessly staring at your boobs and smiling like a complete dork.
You guided his hands to your breast so he could fondle them. He nervously cupped them in his large hands, squeezing on the soft flesh, you sighed in pleasure at the feeling of his warm palms rubbing all over your chest. “Further on the bed for me,” you instructed him after a few minutes while you worked on taking your bottoms off.
He did as you told him and rested his back against your headboard.
Even though he lacked experience, he didn’t need to be told what to do in a moment like this. Admittedly he had watched enough sex scenes in his life to know.
But still, that didn’t stop him from being a total nervous wreck.
He undressed himself along with you, whimpering softly when the material of his boxers brushed against his shaft. His cock rested on his tummy as pre cum pooled at the tip.
He sighed in relief after freeing himself from the tight restrictive material.
You finished taking your clothes off and when you looked up and saw him fully naked, lying down on your bed, you nearly drooled at the sight of his massive size.
Once he saw you staring a little too long, he shrunk back and slowly covered himself with his discarded boxers. He knew you’d probably been with other guys and that you were more than likely comparing his size to the men you were with before, which deflated whatever little self-esteem he had.
Insecurities and jealousy made its way into his system, and he was starting to rethink all of this.
You, on the other hand, were not rethinking anything at all, especially when you saw how good he looked, all laid out and ready for you. You couldn’t wait to feel him inside you cause you just knew he’d fill you up so well.
He tried to cover up, but you didn’t miss the way his cock twitched under his boxers, and you slowly peeled the material back so you could get a better look at his huge cock while you straddled his waist. “You’re so hard,” you whisper in amazement, running your fingers over his thick veiny shaft.
He shuddered from your touch, and he felt like he could pass out just from the overwhelming feeling of you sitting on top of him. He looked down between his legs, and you were not wrong. He was so hard that his tip was a deep red, and it was almost starting to feel painful from being like this for so long.
He blushed slightly from your comment, and his dick twitched again. You smiled and took him inside your palm, wrapping your fingers around his cock and jerking him off slowly. “Mmmh,” he moans, gripping at your bedsheets while tilting his head back in pleasure.
You giggle at his reaction and continue to pump his length. “Y/n, wait” he quickly gripped your wrist, stopping you from moving. “Please tell me you’re not just playing with me,” he breathed out, and he prayed that you wouldn’t get upset at his insinuation, but he just needed to know that you actually wanted him and this wasn’t all just a game for you.
“I’m not playing with you, baby,” you said emotionlessly as you lined yourself up with his tip, and just when you were about to sink down on him, his stupid phone rang.
“Oh no,” he looked at you with fear in his eyes as he realized he had lost track of time. He was supposed to be home at least an hour ago.
“Just forget it” You kissed his cheek.
“I can’t. I’m sorry, it’s my mom” he looked at you apologetically.
You leaned back and sighed, letting him take his stupid phone call.
He reached over to his pants pocket and pulled out his phone. “Hi, Mom!” he chirped.
You trailed kisses on his neck, and you could hear his moms' voice asking what time he’d be home. You smirked against his skin, wondering what his mom would think, knowing that you had her precious son lying under you in your bed minutes away from defiling him.
He squirmed as you were kissing him, trying his hardest not to make any suspicious sounds while he was on his phone.
“Are you still with y/n?” You stopped kissing him and froze at the mention of your name.
You couldn’t believe he told his mom about you.
He was thankful you had stopped kissing him cause now he could answer his mom properly. He took a deep breath to compose himself before he replied.
“Y-yeah, I’m sorry, Mom. I guess I just lost track of time. I’ll be home soon,” he informed her while trying to calm his beating heart, hoping he wasn’t in too much trouble for being out so late.
“Oh no, dear, it’s fine. It’s already so late. Maybe she’ll let you spend the night” By now, you were full-on listening to the conversation, and you nodded your head right away, letting him know he could spend the night.
His face lit up, and he looked genuinely happy. You zoned out the rest of the conversation while he was talking with his mom, and you were starting to have second thoughts about all of this. His mom literally trusted you enough with him to spend the night, and here you were just seconds away from crushing him, but you shook off those ridiculous thoughts. You were so close to completing your mission you couldn’t stop now.
He shyly thanked you for letting him stay the night after he ended the call. “My pleasure,” you say as you lean down to kiss his neck, licking and sucking under his earlobe earning whimpers from the trembling boy under you.
You noticed he was just kinda laying there, and when you looked up, you saw the hesitation in his eyes. “You can touch me. I don’t mind” You guided his hands to your waist, and he lightly rested them on your hips. You chuckled slightly. This was definitely a first for you. Normally, the guys you were with made the first move but with him, it was the complete opposite, and you couldn’t lie. You kinda liked it better this way. “Sweetheart, you’re not going to hurt me” You moved your hands from his pecs to cup his cheeks and peck him on the lips softly.
He laughed and loosened up a tiny bit, trailing his shaky hands up and down your curvy waist. “Okay, not gonna hurt you,” he told himself as he breathed out, looking everywhere except your chest, that was literally inches from his face.
You definitely knew there was something else that was making him hesitant, and it didn’t take long to figure out what it was.
“Is this your first time?” You asked cautiously, running your fingers through his hair to get him to relax a little.
“Yes,” he whispered as his eyes fluttered shut. Just when he thought you’d kick him out or make fun of him, you said something that made his heart feel at ease. “We’ll take it slow. I promise” You rubbed his cheek with the pad of your thumb. “If you ever want to stop, just grab my hand, okay?”
You waited a few more seconds, and he opened his eyes, nodding softly. “Okay”
You kissed his forehead and sat on top of him properly this time. He moaned out loud when he felt your core throbbing on top of his dick.
He squeezed your hips, whimpering softly as your slick coated his shaft.
You peppered his face with kisses giving him some more time to get used to the feeling before you started moving back and forth on him slowly. “Y/n… I don’t know” he closed his eyes tightly, trying to compose himself and settle his erratic heartbeat. “I don’t know if I can d-do this” Everything felt so sensitive and foreign, and it was all starting to become too overwhelming for him.
“Shh, sweetheart, I know you can just relax,” you reassured him while rolling your hips and feeling his thick length slipping through your wet slippery folds.
There wasn’t a word to describe what he was feeling right now. Everything was just too much. His heart was pounding in his chest, his body was trembling with anticipation, and all he could focus on was how beautiful you looked sitting on top of him. “You’re so beautiful” he looked at you with a shy smile as he sighed softly and nuzzled his face into your touch.
You felt something you haven’t felt in forever. For the first time in years, you were feeling butterflies from his simple words of endearment.
You ignored it, though. You just chalked it up to nerves since you hadn’t been with someone for a while. “Are you ready for me?” You asked quietly.
He just nodded, but you needed verbal confirmation, you were evil, but the last thing you wanted to do was pressure him into something he didn’t want to do. “Yes,” he whispered.
You didn’t want to just rush into it for his first time, but the ache between your legs was unbearable. You had never been this wet and impatient before.
You grabbed his length, aligning it with your entrance. You lifted yourself up slightly and sunk down on him with a little less ease than you had initially expected due to his sheer width.
He moaned as soon as his tip went in. He couldn’t control it. You felt so warm and tight around him. “Y/n I- you- oh god,” he whimpers in pleasure while looking up at you with his blown pupils. “It feels s-so good,” he panted.
“I know. Feels so good for me, too, sweetheart” he held your thighs for support as you slowly rocked your hips. “You’re so big, heeseung.” You moan his name lewdly.
“T-thank you” he blushed at your comment, his neck and chest turning a bright shade of red from your compliment.
You leaned back, putting your palms onto his thighs to hold yourself up while grinding on his cock. You moaned from the feeling of his tip reaching so deep inside you. Your head was already spinning from the overwhelming sensation you’d never felt anyone as deep as you felt him.
The sight in front of him was magical. Your body was literally perfect to him. The way your tits bounced up and down while you threw your head back, moaning his name in pleasure as you rode him, was utterly mesmerizing.
Don’t get him wrong, he was loving every last little bit of this, but he felt as if something was missing. He just couldn’t place his finger on it.
You noticed how he was less vocal than before, and you sat up from your position sitting on top of him once again. “You okay?” He just nodded his head slightly, but you could tell something was off about his behavior. He was very expressive, so he wasn’t a hard guy to read. “Just tell me, baby, it’s okay, I promise” You don’t even know why but ever since you found out he was a virgin, you felt this odd sense of responsibility to take care of him and make his first time memorable.
“I want to kiss you, but you’re too far away,” he mumbled with a pout on his face.
Adora- never mind.
You nodded and lifted yourself off of him gently so you could switch to a position that might be more comfortable for him. “Lay down” he laid flat on his back, resting his head on your pillows, giving you a quizzical look while doing so.
You lay between his legs and held onto his thighs, signaling for him to lift them up slightly. You leaned down and kissed him. You could feel him smiling into the kiss, and so were you.
He spread his legs open at your sides, loosely wrapping them around your lower body. “Can I?” He asks you timidly while grabbing his length between your bodies and rubbing himself through your folds to get wet enough to push back inside of you comfortably.
“Please do” he messily pushed his tip in and bucked his hips upwards, filling you up again. “Mmm, so good,” you breathed out. You’ve never felt so full before. He was definitely the best you’ve ever had by far.
He moved his hand back up to your waist once he was nestled deep inside of you, and confidently strummed his fingertips along your bare sides.
You began thrusting yourself on his cock, loving how the new angle gave you even more control over him. “Better?” You questioned with your now swollen lips above his.
“Yes,” he whimpers at the feeling of your walls dragging against his cock so perfectly it hadn’t even been a minute, and he was already so close. “Y/n” Just after he said your name, he was moaning loudly into your mouth as he came inside you without any warning whatsoever.
You rested your forehead on his while he was panting and moaning. You could feel him twitching and pulsating as he shot his hot seed into you, and you’ve never felt a better feeling. You bit your lip in pure ecstasy while listening to his moans as his warmth invaded your insides and slowly started seeping out of you.
Once he was finished, he opened his eyes painfully slow, feeling upset with himself for cumming first. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to” his lip wobbled, and you swore it made your heart ache to see him beating himself up over something he really had no control over.
“No baby, don’t be. It’s normal for your first time” Your reassurance helped him feel a little bit more at ease, but he still felt disappointed with himself. He was silent for a few moments. You gave him some time to calm down a bit as you stroked his cheek lovingly. You didn’t even realize the longer you spent in bed with him, the more you were starting to fall for him. “Please don’t be upset, sweetheart, it’s okay” Your heart has never felt this heavy in years, and you’re not even sure why you felt such a strong need to cheer him up and make him feel better about himself, but you did.
Once he saw the concern written on your face, he was filled with worry and instantly hugged you out of nowhere, hugs always made him feel better, so he thought maybe that would work for you too. You melted into his embrace and kissed him reassuringly. “Is it okay if we try again? I won’t mess up this time,” he whispered in your ear, causing a shiver to run down your spine.
“You didn’t mess up, baby. You did so good, but if you want, we can still try” You kissed his shoulder.
“Let’s try.” He said determined.
You slowly lifted yourself up off his chest, pecking him on the lips as you gently rocked against him. He had already gotten hard again within seconds.
You maintained intense eye contact with him, sensually bucking your hips into him in your dimly lit bedroom.
“Slower, please,” he whines with furrowed eyebrows gritting his teeth from the stimulation. “I just don’t want it to end,” he confesses.
“Me neither, hee, you’re making me feel so good” his heart rate increased by a thousand at the nickname you had just absentmindedly given him.
Unfortunately, now it was you who was on edge. Your clit brushing against his abdomen was making your toes curl in pleasure, and you couldn’t take much more.
The wetness of his previous orgasm made it easier for you to penetrate yourself on his cock as you thrust back and forth on him with ease.
He blushed at the lewd sticky sounds of arousal biting on his lower lip the louder they got with each one of your sensual thrusts.
You ran your fingers up his slim thighs tickling his sweaty flesh as he arched his back off the bed, unintentionally thrusting into you, making you both gasp and moan in pleasure.
“Kiss me again, please,” he begged in a soft voice as he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you close to his chest.
You instantly gave into his wishes and lowered yourself on your elbows, connecting your lips with his.
Halfway through the make-out session, your orgasm was approaching quickly, and he tightened his legs around you when you involuntarily clenched down on him.
He was twitching inside you again, and you could tell he was close, especially from how his mouth was hung open and he was moaning desperately into the kiss.
You couldn’t hang on anymore. You let go allowing your orgasm to finally wash over you. “Oh heeseung,” you cried out his name so soft and vulnerable.
You clenched around him so tight that he couldn’t resist the strong urge to cum, but he still tried. “Y/n I-“
“It’s okay. Let Go. It’s okay,” you repeated over and over again, guiding him through his high as you felt him squirting his warm cum inside you for the second time tonight, and you were already hooked on the feeling.
He whimpers in your ear when you rest your head beside him, breathing heavily while you ride out your orgasms together.
“Breathe, baby” You could feel his heart beating against your chest and his body shaking under you. You ran your fingers through his sweaty hair to soothe him as he hummed into your neck, taking deep breaths and inhaling your scent.
You lay like that for a few minutes until his breathing steadied out a bit. “Did you like it?” You ask nervously for some reason, maybe because deep in the back of your mind, you were scared you weren’t able to give him a good first-time experience.
This was so uncharacteristic of you. Normally your clothes would have been on, and you would have kicked him out the door, but you couldn’t even think about doing something so harsh to him, and on top of that, the warmth of his embrace felt too good to let go of him any time soon.
“I umm,” he stumbles over his words going back to his shy self once he is able to calm down a bit more.
Your heart skipped a beat. What if he didn’t enjoy it? An unnerving feeling settled in the pit of your stomach at the thought.
He was nervously searching for the right answer good would be an understatement, but there was no word to describe the pleasure you just had given to him, but he still tried to. “It was perfect,” he finally said, and you felt a sense of relief wash over you. “How was it for you?” He asks timidly, feeling the same emotions you had felt. He just prayed that it felt as good for you as it did for him.
“It was amazing” You leaned back to see the giddy smile on his face, and you felt your heart melt.
You.
Were.
Fucked.
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It had been a day since then, and apparently, heeseung had plans, so you didn’t see him today, which was actually great for you cause you needed time to think about what the hell you had gotten yourself into.
“What are you thinking about?” Jake gave you a good minute before speaking again when you didn’t answer him the first time around. “Earth to y/n,” he waved his hand back and forth.
You snapped out of your daydream and looked at your friend. “Hmm?”
“I said what are you thinking about? You’ve been spaced the heck out this whole time.”
“I'm thinking,” you reply and take his apple off his lunch tray.
“Oh, you don’t say,” he glared at you.
“Fine, me and heeseung had sex” You rushed out and looked at Jake with wide eyes at the realization of what you just spilled out.
“And?” He looks at you, confused. This was nothing new for you.
“And I think I fucking like him” You reached across the table and grabbed jakes collar looking at him with crazy eyes.
“Oh,” is all he says.
“Oh? That’s all you have to say is fucking oh!” You shouted and drew the attention of the whole cafeteria.
“I c-can barely b-breathe,” you notice the red hue on his face and let him go apologetically.
“Oops,” you giggled. "sorry."
Jake took a deep inhale, trying to process what you were saying. “You what now?” His voice was hoarse, and he took a sip of water before loosening his tie.
“Ok, so the other day, we studied for like three hours, and one thing led to another, so I took him back to my place,” you explained.
“So that’s why you didn’t answer my calls” Jake taps his chin. “Now it makes sense.”
You looked at him with an unamused expression. “Are you fucking serious?” You can’t believe he was paying more attention to the fact you missed his calls than the fact you might actually like someone since your ex.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he chuckled awkwardly and cleared his throat. “Continue”
“We were about to do it, but his mom called, but then she let him spend the night 'cause he told her I was a friend, and then we fucked” you sighed. “Very slow and sensually, passionately even, and then we cuddled and kissed for like another hour before going to sleep, and I think I like him” (you definitely weren’t going to tell him you went two more rounds in said hour he didn’t need to know all that) you went through every emotion right before your best friends eyes, and you felt like you were going to go crazy.
“Woah, that’s heavy” he took another deep inhale.
You just pouted and slouched in your chair.
“Hey, it’s okay” Jake was quick to sit next to you and pat your shoulder comfortingly.
You looked at him, and it didn’t take long for him to recognize that look. He knew you were just seconds away from crying. “Oh, come here, you poor thing,” he side-hugged you, and you rested your head on his shoulder while he stroked your back.
“I’m scared, Jakey,” you admitted.
“Why?” He whispers, ignoring the people staring at you two in the cafeteria.
“Cause I don’t think I can take being hurt again,” you sniffled.
“Y/n, not everyone is like him,” he says, referring to your ex. You both swore never to say his name again. “I’m sure heeseung is not that guy. I mean, as you said, he talks to himself about astronomy. He can’t be a bad guy,” Jake added, making you giggle.
That’s true. He wasn’t a bad guy. He was literally a sweetheart. No matter how much you tried to ignore it, everything about him attracted you, even his stupid little romance novels he tried to hide from you. You liked how passionate he was about what he liked. You love how awkward yet caring he was, and somehow even after hearing all those things about you, he still trusted you with his body, his feelings, and, most importantly, his heart.
After doing a little more thinking, you might have even liked him since the very beginning. As much as you tried to deny it by telling yourself you didn’t like his personality, in reality, it was a lie.
It was you trying to suppress feelings that you promised yourself you’d never feel again, but how could you not like him? He was adorable, and the little conversations he had with his mom made your heart swell. You had only spent a short time with him, but it was enough for you to fall for him.
And now that you have come to that realization, you know he was too good for you. He deserved someone equally as great as him, and you were far from that. You were the opposite, and after what you’ve done to so many others, you didn’t deserve to love, and you definitely didn’t deserve to be loved.
“I know you’re thinking hard about it, and I just want you to know that I’m here for you no matter what, okay?” He kissed the top of your head gently.
“Thank you, Jake,” you whispered.
“Anything for my little sister”
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You had already texted heeseung the very next day to come over to your place so you could end this.
You couldn’t string him along longer than you already had. You were going to end it now. If you could go back in time and erase all this, then you surely would have.
Cause he, out of all people, didn’t deserve to get his heart broken.
♫I'll put you down slow. Love you, goodbye♫
If there was a bright side to this, though, it would be cutting him out of your life now so he didn’t waste any more of his precious time on an undeserving person like you.
He immediately agreed to meet at your place after school. He was feeling so nervous, but he was also so excited to see you again.
When he saw your text earlier, he blushed, thinking back to when he spent the night at your place.
He remembered it like it was yesterday. Well, technically, it had only been like two days, but still.
He couldn’t stop smiling on his way to see you, and before he could make it out the door, his mom was teasing him. “Date night already?” She noticed his attire just like before he had made it a point to dress up for you.
“Mom!” He whined and stomped his foot like a little kid.
“I’m only teasing you. You look handsome as always” She couldn’t help but smile at how bright and lively her son looked.
“Thanks, Mom,” he chuckled and headed to the door. “Hey, mom?” He calls her a little hesitantly.
“Yes, pumpkin?” She answers him with her usual sweet tone.
“Can I come home an hour later?” He asked.
“Oh, I don’t know. Isn’t that kinda late?” His curfew was already eight, and nine would really be pushing it.
“I know, Mom, but just this one time, please? I’ll even clean the house for a whole week” She saw the pleading look in his eyes, and how could she say no to such an adorable little face?
“Okay, fine, but no later than nine, young man” he rushes over to her and quickly pecks her on the cheek.
“I love you, mom, no later than nine, I promise!”
She watched him giddily running out the door with a huge smile on his face.
She remembers before when heeseung used to be a baby and had absolutely zero friends at school.
Those times were the hardest.
He was always so quiet when he came home from school she automatically took notice of how being an outcast was affecting him and took it upon herself to be his playmate.
She built Legos with him and even took him to the park with his dad to play basketball. Over the years, she quickly became his best friend and, sadly, his only friend.
Her heart ached for him, but at least he was happier after she started hanging out with him. She just wished someone would notice him. Sure, he was shy and reserved, but he was a sweet person. If anyone just took the time to see past his cute round frames and nerdy little exterior, they’d grow to love him in no time.
And apparently, you were that person that saw through it all.
Heeseung was always happy no matter what, but she could see the glow literally radiating off him after meeting you. She had no problem being there for heeseung, but a boy his age needed friends and to live a school life, not take her out to brunch every Sunday. She enjoyed all the time she spent with him, but she just really wanted to see him happy with someone else that wasn’t her or his father.
And she knew you must really be a special girl to have him acting like this. He was more outgoing and less shy about expressing himself. He spoke with so much more confidence, and she was forever grateful for you. Now her baby had someone to hang out with and something to laugh and talk about during dinner time, and maybe she’d just have to meet this one and only y/n someday.
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You heard the soft knock on your door. It pained you so much to do this, but you had to. He didn’t deserve to hang around someone like you longer than he already had.
You could barely get your door open before heeseung was holding you close to his body and pressing his lip’s against yours. You didn’t have the power to even pull away cause his kisses were too addicting.
He stumbled into your apartment, and you shut the door behind him, messily pulling on his hair and deepening the kiss as he stuck his tongue inside your mouth, kissing you feverishly, kissing you like he hadn’t kissed you for years, yet it's only been two days he breathed heavily against your mouth as his nose brushed against yours every now and then.
He finally pulled away to give you a breather. “Sorry, I just missed you” his warm breath fanned across your face. “A lot,” he smiled sheepishly.
“Me too” You put your hands on his waist, and you heard him whimper slightly when you turned him around and backed him up against the couch. He fell back softly, and you straddled him, never disconnecting your lips from his for even a second.
He put his hands on your waist just like the other night bringing your body closer to his.
Once you felt his lips on yours, you completely forgot what you even called him over for, just his presence alone made you forget about everything else in the world except you and him.
He abruptly cut off the kiss. “Do you want to study?” Yes, it was random, he knew that, but the last thing he wanted was for you to think he only wanted to come over and have sex again. Sure, that would be a major plus, but he’d go home happy after just spending a few hours of quality time with you.
You laughed softly, and you thought only he could change the mood so quickly from a lust-filled kiss to a sweet innocent request for you to be his study Buddy, but that’s one of the many things that attracted you to him no matter what he was always so genuine and even if he was uncomfortable he’d still say what’s on his mind.
You pushed his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose. “Sure,” you smiled and pecked his little cupid's bow.
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Heeseung was a little hesitant to speak about this topic with you so soon, but he knew he could trust you. “My mom said she likes you” he broke the silence while writing down notes.
“You talk to your mom about me?” You asked, a little shocked, but you should have already known by the way he talked to her over the phone.
He shrunk back a little at the sound of your voice, mistaking your shocked tone for an angry one, and maybe this was a bad topic to bring up after all. “N-nevermind,” you noticed the sad look on his face and quickly cleared up what you meant.
“Sweetheart, I’m just shocked, that’s all,” you reassured him by placing your palm on his cheek and kissing him softly. You visibly watched him relax under your gentle touch.
“Maybe you two could meet sometime?” He said feeling hopeful.
“I don’t know, baby,” you say reluctantly.
“I-it’s fine. It's just I never brought anyone home before” he paused before speaking again. “My mom is just excited that I’m finally talking to someone, and I know it’d make her so happy if you came over, but yeah, just forget I said anything,” he fake laughed, trying to act like he wasn’t hurt but you could still see the frown on his face.
You hated seeing him down like that, so like a dumbass, you were setting up a date to meet his mom even though you knew you’d never actually go. You just wanted to see him happy again. “Actually, I'll check my schedule” You ruffled his hair, and just like that, he was smiling that beautiful smile once again.
“Really?” He said excitedly. “I know she’ll fall in love with you right away.”
The guilt was slowly building inside you at this point, and you’re not sure if you've ever felt this bad in your whole entire life.
How were you going to break up whatever this was that you and him had after this?
“And maybe I could meet your friend too?” He was tilting his head curiously while asking you.
You just smiled and nodded. He went back to writing down notes with a smile on his face while kicking his feet cause he couldn’t contain his excitement.
Yeah, you definitely never felt this bad.
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Heeseung was walking to your and jakes table in the cafeteria with a nervous smile on his face, and it didn’t leave even after he sat down.
Jake was looking between the two of you, doing his best to contain his smile at how awkward you both were. He decided to help you both out a bit. “You must be the infamous heeseung,” Jake says.
“Y-yes,” heeseung mutters and offers a smile, still not being able to meet your friend's gaze.
“I’m Jake. It’s nice to finally meet you y/n told me about you.” Heeseung wiped his palm on his slacks and shook Jake's hand timidly.
The boy had gone red at the thought of you talking about him to your best friend. “Nice to m-meet you” he glanced up at Jake, who was smiling brightly at him, which made him feel just a bit more comfortable.
“I can see why y/n likes you” Jake chuckles and looks at you. “He’s adorable,” he mouthed to you while heeseung was still looking down. You smiled a little happy that Jake was approving of him so far. “I don’t see how you like her, though” Jake laughed, and you glared at him playfully.
Heeseung looked at you, and he didn’t know if Jake was joking or not, so he stayed silent.
Jake cleared his throat once he saw the older boy’s indifferent expression. “I’m only joking!” he patted Heeseung on the back, and he laughed awkwardly. “You looked like you were going to beat me up.” He joked.
Heeseung’s eyes widened in fear he’d never lay a finger on anyone in a harmful manner. “Again, I’m only joking” Jake could definitely see the boy's uneasiness, so he backed off and changed the topic. “So y/n told me you hung out the other day. What did you two study?”
Heeseung was full-on blushing, remembering that studying definitely wasn’t all you two did that night.
Jake looked at you, and you weren’t any better off. Neither of you were giving him much to work with to avoid any more awkward situations. “Physics is my favorite subject,” he adds, hoping to get either of you to say anything at this point.
Heeseung’s ears perked up at the mention of physics. “Mine too!” You rolled your eyes playfully at these two nerds in front of you. Of course, they would bond over school.
As they talked on and on about different school subjects, you tuned them out, just watching heeseung’s face light up as he held a proper conversation. You were happy that he wasn’t on the outside looking in anymore. Now he was a part of his own little circle, and you were thankful that your best friend was nice enough to give heeseung a chance cause you know not many would.
Heeseung’s phone rang, and you were knocked from your little trance. “Oh, that’s my mom. Sorry I have to go now, but I’ll see you Tomorrow?” He asked Jake as he was packing up his bag.
“I’ll be here,” Jake replied and gave heeseung a tiny wave.
Heeseung gave you a soft peck on your cheek before leaving. “Bye,” he waved to you both with a blush on his face, and just like that, he was out of sight.
♫Everyone says I look happy When it feels right♫
“You look happy,” Jake teased, and you just blushed, not bothering to address his playful comment. “If you get rid of him, I’ll kill you,” Jake said, and for once, you couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.
You saluted and chuckled. “Yes, captain”
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You tiredly dragged yourself out of bed. You couldn’t get any sleep after thinking about heeseung all night.
You had no idea what to do, especially after he met Jake. How were you going to tell your best friend about breaking things off with heeseung after he told you he liked him?
You shook it off and did your daily routine. You’d find a way around it somehow.
Your phone was ringing loudly from your bedroom, and you shuffled back to your bed, clearing your throat to get rid of your morning voice before answering. “Hi, y/n” You heard his sweet, honey-like voice across the line, and you swore your heart skipped a bit.
“Hey, sweetheart,” you replied back just as sweetly as you took a seat on your bed.
“Do you want to come over? I-I mean, My parents took a mini vacation, and they won’t be home for a while, so I was wondering if you maybe wanted to keep me company?” He rushed out, anxious to hear what you had to say.
♫Before you let go, just one more time♫
“Sure, what time, baby?” It couldn’t hurt to see him. You were already in a fucked up position, so spending one more day with him wouldn’t make a difference. Right?.
“Can you come over now?” He whined cutely.
“Of course,” you smiled even though he couldn’t see you.
“Okay, I’ll send you the address. See you soon!”
“Bye, baby,” you chuckled. He had already hung up before you could even reply. Just as you were about to get up, your phone rang again. “Hello?” You said with a tiny giggle.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to hang up. I guess I was too excited to send the address” Without even being able to see him, you could tell he was fidgeting with that cute little nervous look on his face.
God, he was so adorable. “It’s okay, baby” You smiled at his thoughtfulness. “I’ll see you soon, yeah?”
“Yeah,” he breathed out. Just the sound of your voice was giving him butterflies. “Bye, baby”
Now you were feeling butterflies. Did he just call you baby? This boy was going to be the death of you. “Bye, hee”
You plopped face down on your pillows, screaming into the soft material and kicking your feet like a love-struck teenager. “What’s happening to me?” You rolled over on your back and stared up at the ceiling clutching your racing heart.
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♫Flowers in hand, waiting for me♫
Once you arrived, heeseung greeted you at the door immediately. “Hey, baby,” he blushed as he extended his hands out to you with a bouquet of flowers in his hand.
“Hi!” You smiled brightly and wrapped your hands around his waist as he welcomed your hug. “You smell good,” you giggled.
“Thank you” he whispered.
You pulled back from the hug, taking the flowers from him to smell them, and they were absolutely lovely. “They’re beautiful, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He closed the door behind you and awkwardly scratched his nape.
“You’re so cute” You couldn’t contain your smile. Everything he did was just too adorable.
Lee heeseung, why do you have to be so lovable?
“T-thank you,” he blushed while taking your hand in his leading you to his bedroom.
It didn’t take you long to get comfortable on his bed in his room. He was currently resting his head on your lap, telling you about his plans for the week while he had the house all to himself. You ran your fingers through his soft hair, and the boy couldn’t help but get distracted by your touch.
His eyes fell shut, and he let out a soft breath. He didn’t mean to, but he was getting just a little bit excited below the belt, and he moaned quietly when your fingertips brushed past his ear.
You looked at him and smiled slightly. He looked so good with his dusty blonde hair. He swallowed thickly when you stroked his cheek, and your eyes darted to his prominent Adam’s apple. You unknowingly licked your lips at the sight, your eyes raking over the rest of his body that was sprawled out on his bed, and you didn’t miss the bulge that his khaki pants did absolutely nothing to hide.
He looks up at you with a desperate expression on his face hoping you’d get the hint.
You didn’t need him to say anything to know what he needed. “Sit back for me, sweetheart” You loved how he did anything you said without even asking questions cause that’s how much he trusted you, but at the same time, you felt so guilty.
You lay between his legs leveling your face with his crotch, lightly kissing over the bulge in his pants. “O-oh,” he gripped at his bed sheets, and you looked up at him, watching the way his muscles flexed thanks to the lack of sleeves on his white tank top.
Slowly you ran your palm over his hard cock, feeling it twitch under your hand. “Up” You tapped his thigh, and he lifted his hips up, allowing you to easily remove his bottoms, revealing his delicious cock. “So pretty," you said to yourself, but he heard it somehow, and of course, like any other compliment you gave him, it made him blush.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
Gosh, he was literally the cutest.
You kissed all the way up his shaft until you reached the tip, tasting the first bead of precum that pooled at his slit.
His body was already on fire, and every touch was making him feel little sparks on every inch of his body. “Ah~” his mouth fell open, and he moaned from the feeling of your tongue tracing over the veins on his hard cock.
You opened wide and took him halfway inside your mouth, sucking him off slowly. You moaned around his cock, satisfied with the little sounds he was making just for you.
♫ Won't call me by name, only baby♫
“Baby…” he looked at you, sitting between his legs. He let out a low groan, and he refused to believe that he was anywhere but heaven right now.
You lowered your hands from his thighs so you could fondle his full balls. You caressed them softly while hallowing your cheeks to take him deeper down your throat.
His sounds were driving you absolutely wild, and the way his cock rested heavily on your tongue felt nothing short of amazing. “Y/n?” He grabbed your hand so you would stop, and you immediately pulled off of him.
“What’s wrong?” You ask him with worry stroking his hand with your thumb while he squeezes yours lightly.
“Nothing, it’s just I didn’t want to, you know…” he trailed off shyly, and you knew what he was getting at.
“Baby, don’t worry, just enjoy yourself” You winked at him playfully, and just like that, your pretty plump lips were wrapped around him as you started sucking on his dick once again.
As soon as your lips made contact again, he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. “Oh god, I think I’m gonna- so- so close,” he warned you. He tried to push you back cause he didn’t want to cum in your mouth without your permission, but you moved his hand away, and not even a second later, he came down your throat with loud, broken moans. His sounds only increased in volume when you gently squeezed his balls and sucked him through his high.
You closed your eyes, focusing on the way he tasted. It was salty with a hint of sweetness, and you could have sworn you never had anything better inside your mouth than his warm cum.
After you felt the faint pulsating of his cock disappear, you pulled off him with a quiet pop licking the corners of your lips.
♫Take off your clothes, pretend that it's fine. A little more hurt won't kill you♫
He had his hands outstretched to you, silently asking you to come closer. You stood up momentarily and undressed. He used the opportunity to quickly pull off his tank top, leaving him completely naked you smiled and climbed back on top of him. “Was tha-" he cut you off by pressing his lips on yours, kissing you in a way he hadn’t before. It was sloppy wet messy, and rushed. You could feel how eager he was to kiss you by the way he was gripping tightly onto your waist.
He wanted to tell you so much, but he just couldn’t stop kissing you long enough to convey just how strong his feelings were for you.
He didn’t even give you space to breathe. He just held you closer, tighter, and kissed you rougher.
You willfully gave in and didn’t even try to resist anymore. He groaned when he tasted himself on your tongue as he dug his nails into your sides while unknowingly bucking his hips into your core.
He couldn’t help but moan out loud when you met him halfway, rutting yourself against his growing cock.
He didn’t know what came over him, but he suddenly flipped you over, and now he was on top of you for the first time ever. He clasped your hands with his while grinding his crotch into you.
The kiss was a complete mess drool was leaking at the corners of both of your lips. His breathing was rapid and unstable, but neither of you cared at this moment. Every single thing you did to each other felt perfect. “I need you s-so bad,” he panted.
“Take me. I’m all yours” he looked down at you with eyes full of need, and it only occurred to him that he was suddenly in the dominant position, and a nervous feeling began settling in his stomach.
You immediately noticed his unsure expression, and he was so thankful when you flipped him over and got back on top, taking charge of him once again. “Good?”
“Good,” he agreed with a tiny smile on his face. You were both in the same position when it was his first time, he grabbed his base and angled his tip at your entrance, pushing it in slowly, You were so wet that he easily slipped inside you with little to no resistance, filling you up just the way you needed.
Neither of you uttered a word. You only stared deeply into each other's eyes with your mouths parted in pleasure.
You rocked back and forth on him slowly at first, but you quickly got used to the feeling of his thick cock stretching you open and you rolled your hips faster.
His face was so precious, all twisted in pleasure, eyes deeply focused on you as you rode him.
He coyly moved his hands around your body, kneading your bottom with his large hands. He bit his lip softly, groaning as your walls contracted around him.
Usually, it took a while for you to cum with others, but with him, it was nothing. It had only been minutes, but that knot in your stomach was all too telling of the orgasm that was soon to come.
You moved your hand from his shoulder and gripped his wrist, guiding his hand to your clit. You threw your head back in pleasure. As soon as his warm fingers brushed over your nub he felt you squeezing around him tightly.
You picked up the pace, and he instinctively circled your clit faster and faster. You knew he was a quick learner, but not that quick. “Is that okay?” He asked, making sure you were feeling good too.
“Yes, baby,” you cupped his cheek, kissing him roughly as you felt your legs starting to give out due to your high coming in hot. “Don’t stop, hee. Please, I’m so close.”
He twitched at the sound of your voice when you called him baby. He absolutely loved it when you called him that.
He wasn’t thinking about stopping after hearing your moans of pleasure. He rubbed your clit even faster, and that sent you over the edge immediately. You clenched around him, triggering his own orgasm right after yours. “I’m cumming” he whispered breathlessly while filling you up with his seed, the convulsions of your pussy milking him until you were filled to the absolute brim with his sweet release.
“Heeseung,” you tiredly choked out his name through your sounds of ecstasy. You have never felt such a strong orgasm before. You couldn’t stop convulsing around him even if you tried.
“Baby,” he moaned while drawing out your nickname, you heard him sobbing quietly from the overwhelming orgasm.
You could feel him shaking with pleasure as his cum flowed into you like a never-ending stream. He painted your walls with spurt after spurt of his hot white release, making you feel warm inside and out.
You collapsed on his chest, your body still trembling with pleasure.
His bedroom fell silent only heavy breaths could be heard as you gently caressed each other's sweat-covered bodies.
About ten minutes later, you gained enough energy to get from on top of him, not worrying about the mess you both made on his sheets. After he pulled out of you, you both lay beside each other, and he covered you with the blankets holding you close to his side as he looked at you with a huge grin on his face. “I was scared of you for no reason” he carefully stroked your cheek with his thumb as he spoke softly. “You’re not a bad person at all.” He giggled.
You smiled at that, but boy, was he so wrong about you.
“You’re an angel,” he continued letting all his feelings pour out like an endless waterfall. “How did I get so lucky to have someone like you?”
His words were just a reminder of what you were slowly working up the courage to do, and you felt sick as tears welled in your eyes, but you fought them back. Instead of giving him an answer, you leaned in and pecked his lips, and his face instantly lit up like a christmas tree.
“D-do you umm… want to take a bath with me?” He asked tiredly, still stroking your cheek with his thumb as a blush dusted his cheeks.
“Sure” he got up and reached for your hand, helping you up out of his bed.
“Hee!” You squealed when he picked you up and walked you to his bathroom.
His loud laugh echoed in the tiled restroom as he set you down carefully. He kissed your cheek before running the warm water for you both.
You caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, and your smile instantly faded. You turned away, too ashamed of the reflection that stared back at you in your attempt to cut him out of your life. You had only got closer to him, and now you didn’t know how you’d be able to stay away from him, especially when he was smiling so sweetly at you and offering you his hand to help you inside the tub with him.
As you lay pressed against his warm chest feeling his gentle heartbeat on your back and the soft touches he left all over your body, all you could think was that you could stay like this forever.
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Weeks had gone by since that night, and so many events had taken place heeseung had taken you on a date and worked up the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend, and you couldn’t find it in your heart to tell him no cause you knew it would crush his little heart.
It’s funny, isn’t it?
The reason you even talked to him in the first place was to destroy him break him down til there was nothing left, and now you were doing everything in your power just to make sure he had a smile on his face at all times you had even met his mom, and she was the sweetest lady ever. You knew exactly where heeseung got his kindness from. They were both literally angels.
♫ Baby, angels like you can't fly down here with me♫
And here you were, the devil in disguise.
You still haven’t told Jake about anything, at least not yet, anyways.
You were all currently sitting on the living room floor in a circle playing go fish at your place. Jake and heeseung had also grown closer over the months, and it warmed your heart to see they acted like real brothers.
You remember after heeseung first met Jake. He was nervously asking you. “Do you think Jake likes me?” He twiddled his fingers, hoping for a good response. “I hope he does,” he mumbles.
You just giggled at your boyfriend’s cuteness and pinched his cheeks. “He wouldn’t stop asking when you’re gonna have lunch with us again” heeseung smiled brightly after hearing that. “So yes, I think he likes you,” you added with a smile.
There was no one happier in the world than lee heeseung. After befriending you and Jake, not only did you like him, but so did your best friend. He finally felt like he belonged after all this time. He finally found people that he liked, loved even and people that he could trust.
Finally, for once in his life, he didn’t feel like an outcast. He finally felt acknowledged, and that’s all he’s ever longed for.
“No peaking,” Jake giggled and held his cards to his chest.
“Do you have a…….” You drew out the question, wondering which card you could ask for, not that it really mattered. Your hand was literally full of cards. “A nine?”
“You’re in luck” Jake passed you his nine, and you got rid of just one of the many cards in your hand, leaving Jake with two cards.
Heeseung had one card left, and he needed just one more pair to empty his hand and win. “Okay, does anyone have a” He looked back and forth between you and Jake, building the suspense for absolutely no reason other than to tease you both like he always had. You were both on the edge of your invisible seats, waiting for him to say which card he needed. “Wait, I have to go to the restroom” You and Jake both let out exaggerated sighs and groans, and heeseung just giggled. “No cheating, I trust you guys” he left his last card on the carpet, trusting you guys not to look at it or even change it, for that matter.
You sighed and picked at the carpet, waiting for your boyfriend to get back, and Jake noticed the uneasy look on your face right away. “I know that look, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” you lied literally everything was wrong.
“Come on, y/n, you know you can talk to me” he was right. If anyone could keep a secret, it was Jake, but he was the one you were keeping the secret from, but it was time for you to come clean about everything.
“Please don’t kill me when I tell you this” Jake was searching your face waiting for you to laugh, but you never did. He just nodded his head and let you continue. “So you know how I was deciding if I was going to continue to see heeseung, right?” Jake nodded again, and you sighed. “I’m going to break up with him soon,” you said dreadfully, knowing full well your friend’s reaction wouldn’t be good at all.
“What the fuck, y/n?” You quickly shushed him, and he lowered his voice. “I thought you were done with that shit. You said you liked him. What the hell happened?” Jake whisper, shouted in anger.
♫I know that you're wrong for me♫
“I know, I know, and I do like him, but he deserves better,” you groaned and held your head in your hand while sighing as a painful expression made its way to your features at just the mention of breaking up with him.
Jake's expression softens at your reason for wanting to break up, and his heart never ached for anyone more than you right now. He couldn't imagine how you were feeling. “Y/n,” he sighs. “Don’t go so hard on yourself, okay?” You nodded your head, but your mind was already made up.
“It’ll be better for all of us this way” You smiled sadly. If Jake knew anything about you, he knew that whenever you said something, you meant it, but that doesn’t mean he always agreed with it, especially right now.
Jake just sighed and put his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it lightly. “Don’t worry, it’ll be okay” he was sure going to miss the hell out of that kid and the late-night gaming/studying session he had with him, but you were his best friend. He had to stand by you no matter what happened. “When are you going to break up with him?”
Heeseung was just coming back from the restroom. He had taken a bit longer than usual to keep adding to the suspense of the outcome of the game, knowing how easily it ruffled both of your feathers.
Just before he turned the corner, he heard you and Jake whispering about something, and he didn’t know why, but he stopped to listen, and he almost wished he hadn’t. “Break up with who?” He whispered, revealing himself from behind the door.
Your stomach dropped when you saw him standing there with a confused look on his face.
Jake froze in place, not having the courage to even look at heeseung.
“Who are you guys talking about?” Heeseung’s lip trembled as he tried his hardest to fight back his tears, praying that this wasn’t what he thought it was. “Baby, answer me” Your heart shattered at the sound of his pained voice.
When you didn’t answer him, he looked to Jake instead. “Jakey?” Tell me you guys are joking. Please tell me this is a game,” Heeseung muttered.
Jake wanted to say something so bad, but for the first time in his life, he just didn’t have the right words to say.
“Baby, please just liste-” You looked at him, tears pooling in your eyes and blurring your vision, but you could still see the distraught look on his face, and it broke you.
The pet name he had once loved hearing from you was now making him feel disgusted. “D-don’t call me that. Just tell me what you two were talking about,” he says weakly. “Were you planning on breaking up with me?”
“Yes, but-"
“I can’t believe you. I trusted you!” He shouted and looked over at Jake, who still had his head down. “And you, you knew, didn’t you?” He asked Jake.
“Hee, I’m sorr-" Jake tried to speak up, but heeseung was quick to cut him off.
“Just stop! I don’t want to fucking hear from either of you ever again!” you flinched at his tone. You’d never heard him cuss like that before. “I should have never trusted you. I should have listened to the rumors and stayed away” tears spilled from his eyes as he yelled in frustration. “I should have known somebody like you was incapable of having real emotions” he laughed pathetically at himself and wiped his tears. “I’m such an idiot! This is what you do. You use people up until you don’t want them anymore, and you throw them away.”
♫I'm everything they said I would be♫
It was the truth. Everything he said was the truth, and you couldn’t even fight back.
“Don’t say that. You know nothing about her!” Jake shouted back. He wasn’t just going to sit there and listen to heeseung talk about you that way.
“You know, you’re right. I thought I did, but I don’t, and I thought I knew you too turns out I don’t know either of you. You were like the brother I never had. I shared everything with you, but I guess it all meant nothing to you cause the whole time, all you did was talk behind my back."
♫It's not your fault I ruin everything♫
The room had gone completely silent. You were in a state of utter shock. You ruined your relationship. You ruined Jake and Heeseung’s friendship everything was destroyed all because of you.
“I believed that you had changed, I really did,” heeseung’s voice cracked as he directed his words at you. “I gave you my heart” he paused for a moment to composes his thoughts before continuing. “I trusted you with my body,” he gritted through his teeth, and you could hear the pure disgust in his tone. It broke your heart to hear him say such things to you. “I-I loved you” his voice sounded so weak and broken with the last words he spoke.
♫And it's not your fault I can't be what you need♫
You couldn’t fight back the tears anymore. You dropped your head as the first of many tears fell to the carpet.
He swallowed thickly, a fresh stream of warm tears rolling down his cheeks. “And I can’t even count how many times I wanted to tell you that, but I’m so glad I never did,” he spat, voice laced with venom as he walked past the both of you, grabbing his jacket and running home with tears in his eyes.
♫Gonna wish we never met on the day I leave♫
“Y/n, I’m sorry,” Jake whispers, feeling like this was all his fault, but it wasn’t. This was going to happen sooner or later, maybe not with this outcome, but the hurt that it caused was inevitable.
You stood up and ran to your room, bawling your eyes out as you heard Jake calling for you.
You’ve never felt so much pain in your whole entire life, not even when your ex told you he never loved you. It hurt so bad, and you felt so sick to the point you thought you might even throw up.
You couldn’t believe what you had done. If you had of just broken up with heeseung sooner, this could have all been avoided. You could have kept Jake out of your drama, but instead, you decided to be selfish, and because of that, now everyone was hurting all because of you.
♫Cause they say that misery loves company♫
The memory of his hurt face and teared stained cheeks gnawed at your guilty conscious.
You clutched your chest tightly, feeling like the air was slowly being sucked out of your lungs as you sobbed harder and harder. “I’m so sorry, baby,” you repeated over and over again while hugging yourself.
Even after hours had gone by, you still hadn’t moved an inch. You couldn’t stop crying, but this is what you deserved. You imagined this is how all your hookups felt after you used them up and threw them away like yesterday’s garbage.
Maybe somehow, this was their revenge and a catastrophic reminder that no matter what happens, you'll always reap what you sow.
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♫Tonight, Mother says, "You don't look happy."♫
Heeseung went home and slammed the front door shut.
“You don’t look happy, pumpkin. What’s wrong?” He didn’t want to just ignore his mom like that, but he knew it’d break her heart if she saw him like this, so he locked himself in his room and cried all alone.
He sat down on his bed, but he couldn’t even get comfortable. He couldn’t stand knowing that this was the same bed you once laid in with him, the same bed where he cuddled you so lovingly and gave you every last drop of his love.
All the memories he had with you flashed before his teary eyes from the first day he saw you to just a few moments ago.
He couldn’t believe that you lied. Everything felt so real to him, the way you’d kiss him, the way you’d make love to him, and just knowing it was all an act made everything hurt ten times worse.
And the more he thinks about it, the worse it gets. He could see you wanting to play games with him but Jake too? What was in it for him? Why did he have to lie? Was it all just some sick game to the both of you? Was he just that naive and easy to fool?
The absolute worst part of all is that you came to his house and met his most beloved people in the world and lied to them straight to their faces like it was easy, like it was fun.
He knew he should have gone with his gut feeling and stayed away from you, but he was never one to judge a book by its cover, but this time he wished he had of cause. You know what they say.
The evilest girls have the prettiest face.
He curled himself up into a little ball in the corner of his room, hugging his knees tightly and slowly rocking back and forth. “Why does it hurt so bad?” He choked out. His breathing started to get uneven, and before he could even register what was happening, he started to hyperventilate, and his eyelids slowly fluttered shut while everything else around him went black.
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You woke up to hundreds of texts from Jake asking you if you were alright, and you were beyond thankful for his concern, but you just didn’t have the strength to reply.
Instead, you went to your old texts with heeseung. By this time, he would have already texted you with a cute little message.
Good morning baby! flowers for you! 💐
That’s the text he’d always send to you every morning, and to see absolutely nothing from him, it broke your heart.
You tried to call him, but after several rings, it went to his voicemail. You sent more texts than you could count, hoping he’d respond, but he never did.
For the rest of the day, you stayed curled up in a ball on your bed, not even thinking of going to school today.
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I’m sorry for last night. Can we talk?
Heeseung opened his phone and looked at the message Jake had sent him. He instantly blocked jakes number without a second thought.
He opened your messages next, and he teared up right away. He read through a few of them, and every single one made his heart hurt.
Baby
I miss you
I’m so sorry
Please let me explain
He didn’t bother reading anymore. He blocked your number along with Jake. There was no point in letting you explain last night was enough of an explanation for him.
He curled on his bed and sobbed quietly into his pillow, trying to ignore the agonizing pain he felt in his chest.
“Pumpkin?” He heard his mom's voice call from behind his bedroom door. She frowned when she didn’t hear his voice on the other end. “Heeseung?” She twisted the knob and saw him all bundled up beneath his blankets, and she heard his quiet sniffles. “Oh no, my sweet boy, what happened?” She sat down on his bed and stroked his hair.
He pulled his covers back and wrapped his arms around his mother, wetting her shirt with his teary cheeks. “Y/n, broke up with me,” he said in between labored breaths.
Her heart instantly dropped at the news. She couldn’t believe it. She didn’t want to believe it.
How could you have done such a thing to her precious baby, especially when you always looked at him so fondly whenever you came over for dinner.
How could you possibly even fathom breaking up with him after you professed such love, and how could you break up with him after you told her straight to her face that you’d love him unconditionally and take care of him no matter what? “Mom, can I stay home? I don’t feel like going to school today.” He mumbled.
“Of course, you can stay home, sweetie” She smoothed her hands over his back gently. “You can talk to me whenever you’re ready,” she whispered softly and waited for him to open up.
By the time he finished telling her everything and crying his poor little heart out, it was nearing midnight, and he still didn’t look like he’d be done crying anytime soon.
“Shh,” she patted his back, trying to calm him down. After a few moments, his breathing evened out a bit, and shaky breaths left his quivering lips.
She let go of him and allowed him to lie back into his pillows. “I know it’s hard, but try to get some rest, okay, sweetie” he nodded weakly and wiped his tears.
“Okay,” he whispered shakily and closed his swollen eyes. She placed one kiss on his forehead before shutting off his light. “Goodnight, baby,” she tucked him in, and she could already hear his breath becoming more stable. She quietly left his room and shut the door behind her.
She rested her back against the door, and tears welled in her eyes. She felt like it was all her fault for trusting you with her son to begin with.
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It had been officially one week since your and Heeseung’s unofficial breakup, and you were just laid up in bed pining over him, but you quickly realized you had to do something. You had to get your baby back. You couldn’t just sit there and let someone like him get away so easily.
You called Jake, and he picked up right away. He had been waiting by his phone for your call all day. “Y/n? Are you okay? What can I do?”
You smiled at hearing your friend's concern for you. “Well, Jake, I’m as okay as a person can be after losing the love of their life,” you let out an airy laugh.
“Y/n…..” you heard him sigh. “I’m sorry,” he apologized even though it wasn’t his fault.
“Jake, don’t apologize. It’s not your fault, and if anything, I should be sorry to you because I ruined everything,” your voice cracked.
“Don’t be hard on yourself, y/n. You’ve been through enough” he paused before asking you a question that’s been on his mind since yesterday. “Did you try contacting him? I tried texting, but I think he might have blocked me.”
“I tried, but he didn’t answer” You sighed deeply, and you couldn’t hold back your quiet sobs.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay, don’t cry. We’re gonna explain everything, and we’re gonna get him back. I promise you hear me” he heard your silence over the line and continued. “Besides, he owes us a rematch of go fish,” he chuckled to lighten the mood.
“Yeah, you’re right” You laughed a little, before you finished the call with Jake. You both made a plan to go to heeseung’s house and apologize to him.
Cause no matter what, you were going to get him back.
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You and Jake met up later that day, and you were both currently standing outside heeseung's door. “Take a deep breath. You got this” You half smiled at Jake and knocked on heeseung’s door quietly.
His mom came to the door after a few seconds. “Hel- oh,” her face dropped a little once she saw you and Jake, and it took everything in her not to just slam the door right in your guys' faces.
You smiled sadly, and you assumed she must have already gotten the news about what happened between you and heeseung. “Hi, Ms lee,” you muttered. Jake just smiled awkwardly behind you.
“Well, it was nice seeing you both, but I have work to do” She closed the door halfway, and you spoke up before she could shut it.
“Wait, I-is heeseung here?” You asked timidly.
“Mom, wh-“ heeseung stopped midway on the staircase when he saw you and Jake standing at the door. He made eye contact with you, and he quickly turned around and went back upstairs.
You parted your mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
“Have a good day,” ms lee said with a stern look and closed the door.
You turned to Jake, and your lip quivered. “Jake,” you broke down into tears, and Jake immediately wrapped you in his arms, frowning when he heard your sniffles.
You both stood outside the door for a solid three minutes before you decided to leave. “Come on,” Jake whispered while patting your back and carefully walking you down the steps.
Heeseung peeked out of his blinds, and when he saw you and Jake getting further away from his house, a tear rolled down his cheek.
He sat down on his bed and stared blankly at the floor, fiddling with his fingers. “Are you okay?” His mom asks when she went to check on him.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” he gave his mom a half smile. “Its just gonna take some time,” he sighed while she nodded her head in understanding. “What did they want?” He asked curiously.
“Well, if I’m being honest, dear, I was too angry to let them explain,” she told him truthfully. “But I’m sure it’s nothing to concern yourself with” She patted his head softly.
“Yeah,” he agreed. There’s nothing that you or Jake needed to explain. He got played by you, just like the rumors said. He thought he was smart enough not to let that happen to himself but look what that way of thinking got him.
Nothing but a broken heart.
“Come down for dinner soon, okay?”
“Okay, Mom” She left him alone for a little while and gave him some time to himself.
He caught sight of his phone, and he knew he shouldn’t, but he unlocked it anyways and scrolled through the many pictures you had taken together. The more he scrolled, the more it hurt, and when he came across the selfie you all took the night he overheard you talking about breaking up with him, he relived that moment all over again.
He quickly shut off his phone and tossed it to the side before wiping his tears with his shirt and going downstairs.
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“Y/n, we just have to try again, that’s all,” Jake explained to you while watching you bawl your eyes out on the couch in your living room.
“Can’t you see he wants nothing to do with me? He saw me, and he walked away” You sobbed loudly and buried your head in your hands.
Jake never thought he’d ever see you this hurt. Even when your ex broke up with you, you didn’t take it this hard. “Come on, we barely even tried. We can’t just give up that easy,” he patted your shoulder. “I know you’re not trying your hardest cause you think you’re no good for him, but you have to see past that, okay? He still loves you. I know he does. I’m sure if you just explain, he’ll understand, and I mean, come on, it’ll be something straight out of those romance novels he’s so in love with,” Jake giggled.
Jake was right, and you knew it. You just had to get over yourself long enough to believe that you deserved an angel like heeseung. It would be challenging, but you promised yourself you’d change so you could make things work between you and him. “Thank you, Jake,” you cried on his shoulder and released a deep breath. You really don’t know what you’d do or where you’d be without him.
“I told you anything for my little sister” he hugged you back and comforted you for the rest of the night.
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♫Every word in poetry♫
So the plan was to act out a scene in a romance novel, his favorite scene, as cliche as it was, you would stand outside his window with big, bold letter lights that said “I love you, and I’m sorry.”
If the plan went as well as it did in the novel, then by the end of the night, heeseung would be yours again.
You and Jake waited till nightfall to set everything up cause you’d probably get caught if you did it in broad daylight.
The letters were absolutely huge, and they nearly lit up the whole freaking neighborhood cause of the big bulbs that were in them. You sprinkled rose petals on the ground, and you searched for tiny pebbles to throw at his window to wake him up.
“Okay, I think that’s everything” Jake stood up and dusted his hands off. “You got this!” He gave you a thumbs up and hid behind some bushes a couple of feet away.
You took a deep breath and tossed the first pebble at his window, completely missing your target.
You shook the nerves off a bit and threw another, this time hitting your target right down the middle.
You waited a few seconds before throwing some more, and eventually, it woke him up.
Heeseung stirred in his bed at the foreign noise against his window, after a moment the strange sound had woken him up. He peeled his covers back as he made his way out of bed to see what was happening. “Y/n?” He mumbled tiredly and rubbed his eyes before opening the window.
“Hi!” you waved when you saw him peeking out the window.
He gasped once his eyes adjusted, and he realized that it was actually you standing outside his window, he nearly teared up when he saw your elaborate apology. This was the absolute last thing he was expecting, but he loved each and every last second of it. He put his glasses and his robe on before running downstairs and going out to his backyard.
You lowered your head in defeat when he left from the window. You had no idea why you even thought that this would wor-
“Y/n!” Heeseung said your name way too loud for it to be past midnight, but he couldn’t care less. All he cared about was the fact that you were standing before him once again and apologizing for your past mistakes. “Hi,” he said breathlessly while squeezing you in a tight hug.
You broke down in tears the instant you saw him running to you, and when you felt him in your arms again, everything felt so complete. “I’m so sorry, baby,” you apologized to him over and over again.
Him being the sweet boy he is, forgave you instantly as he stroked your back with his palms enjoying the feeling of being in your arms once more. “Baby. I’m sorry for not letting you explain” he leaned back and stared into your teary eyes. “I love you,” he confessed as his eyes watered.
“I love you too. I love you so much, and I’m so sorry for breaking up with you. It’s just I felt like I was wrong for you and that you deserved someone bett-"
It’s been way too long since he last kissed you, and whatever nonsense you were spewing out could wait til later.
He pressed his lip’s against yours softly, and you both melted into each other instantaneously. Your lips molded perfectly together with his, and even if his goofy little glasses were in the way, it was still the best kiss you both ever shared.
“Ahem!” Jake came from behind the tree when you and heeseung started to get a little handsy. “Hey there,” Jake waved to Heeseung timidly and shoved his hands into his pockets.
Heeseung's face lit up. He couldn’t believe he had both of his favorite people standing in front of him, going through all this trouble to apologize just for him. No matter what happened in the past, he didn’t care. All he cared about was the fact that you were all finally together again.
“Group hug!” You cheered as Jake joined your tiny little circle, and you celebrated the small reunion.
“I love you guys” You were about to keel over from his cuteness as you kissed his cheek. He was thankful it was dark. Otherwise, you would have seen his red cheeks.
Jake ruffled heeseung’s hair as he smiled at you both. It felt great to have you both back. He looked at you, and he recognized that smile from anywhere. It was that same smile as the day he first met you, and he knew the y/n he became best friends with back in grade school was finally back, all thanks to a nerdy guy named lee heeseung, who read romance novels and talked to himself about astronomy. “You owe us a rematch,” Jake said once you guys broke the hug, he pulled out a box of playing cards from his pocket.
“Deal!” Heeseung said excitedly while you all walked to his house and upstairs to his room.
Once you all got into his room, you sat in a circled and set up the card game heeseung had two cards, and you had one, while Jake had five.
You just needed one more match to end the game and win. “Does anyone have a queen?” You squinted your eyes, hoping that someone had your matching card.
“I do!” Heeseung shouted happily, even though that meant he lost to you, and Jake giggled at his excitement. “And she’s right here” he put his arm around your waist and kissed your cheek while giving you his second-to-last card.
The beginning was rocky, the middle was terrible, but the future was every bit of bright.
And now that you think back at it, you weren’t everything they said you would be.
FIN.
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Thank you for reading. Please reblog and leave feedback. - 🐹
Taglist 🔖 @whoslai @beomibeom @anonant @loviseamms @ice-dandan20 @alienqbrain @djdjjdjfjf @en-may-z @weyukinluv @heeseungsim @kimochiloveshee @yumispky @prestineaugstine @heej43 (bold can’t be tagged :/)
So quick little note even though I don’t normally make these, I wanted to explain a bit of this story. Obviously, this story was made with inspiration from angels like you by Miley Cyrus. Maybe I interpreted the song wrong, but I feel like it was a sad song. I thought about making an ending where they did not get back together, but I figured most of the audience would not really be happy with a sad ending, and neither would I, so I decided to make this one happy anyways. I chose the whole player plot for y/n cause I think it fits the lyrics well. When it says, “I know that you’re wrong for me,” it’s almost like y/n realizing that hee was too good for her, and even though he loves her, she doesn’t feel like she deserves his love after everything she’s done. I feel like this story is pretty self-explanatory. I know the whole story doesn’t replicate the entire song, but I feel like I put a different little spice to it that I hope you guys enjoyed. But yeah, let me know how you liked it, and also, would you guys like more of these little explanations at the end?
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Text
Let’s Give ‘Em Something to Talk About
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Femme!Henderson!Reader
Summary: Y/N Henderson’s relationship with Eddie puts her at odds with Jason Carver and co.
Warnings: Reader uses she/her pronouns, bullying/harassment, slut shaming, allusions to sexual content (nothing sexual actually happens), Jason being a prick, swearing, Reader is Dustin’s sister but no physical descriptions are used and you can read it as an adopted sibling if you want, I think that’s it but let me know if I missed something
A/N: Alright, this is the first Fic I’ve ever posted on here. I’m honestly a little nervous, but hopefully you enjoy. I’ll probably end up posting this on my Ao3 too so I’ll link that at some point.
My Master List | Ao3
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“I’m gonna miss you”, Eddie whines as he leans against the locker next to yours.
“It’s one class”, you reply as you swap out your English textbook for history, “that’s, what, an hour?”
“Actually I have Davis’s class next so it feels more like three hours”, Eddie says.
You snort. Mr. Davis has probably been around since the dinosaur era, and if there were to be a competition for most boring teacher at Hawkins High, he would win it hands down.
“It’s not funny”, Eddie teasingly pouts, “I might actually die of boredom.”
“As much as I would hate for that to happen, I’ve got my own class to get to, so unfortunately you’re on your own for now,” you reply.
“Alright well, please tell the rest of Hellfire I’m going to miss them”, he tells you, “and feel free to wear that black skirt of yours to the funeral. The tight one. It’s what I would’ve wanted.”
You roll your eyes affectionately before pressing a quick kiss to his lips.
“You’re so dramatic”, you say, “I’ll see you later.”
“If I survive that long”, he calls. You shake your head before turning the corner and heading into your history classroom.
“Okay, class”, your teacher, Mr. Price announces once the bell rings, “I’ve written some questions on the board. You’ll find the answers in Chapter 5 of your textbook. Write them down and turn them in by the end of class. You may work with a partner if you’d like.”
You pull your textbook out of your bag and flip to a clean sheet in your notebook. You don’t have any friends in this class, so you figure you may as well just do it yourself and get it over with. That is, until a voice startles you as you’re about to start reading the first page of the chapter.
“Hey, Y/N. Do you wanna work together?”
You blink up at the source of the voice and are pretty sure you must be hallucinating. That’s the only explanation you can think of as to why Jason Carver would be asking you to be his partner.
The two of you have been in the same grade since Kindergarten and you can't think of a single time in all those years that he’s directly acknowledged your existence. The closest thing you have to a connection with him is that your little brother is friends with one of his new Basketball recruits, but you kind of doubt he even knows or cares about that. There’s a few members of his little posse he could be asking to work with him, so you have no clue why he’d be asking you of all people. But, you don’t have anyone else, so you shrug.
“Sure, I guess”, you say.
“Great”, he smiles, moving to sit down next to you.
“I’ll get started on number 1”, you suggest, “maybe you can do number 2 and we’ll compare?”
“Sure”, he says sweetly. You’re honestly getting a little freaked out by how friendly he’s being.
You both do your agreed upon work, and then switch off to show each other your answers.
“So?” you ask when he’s finished reading yours, “does that seem right?”
“Yeah”, he replies, “you’re good at this. You ever thought about being a tutor?”
“Oh, no, not really”, you say.
“See, I just ask because our youth group has this program where some of us older members help the younger kids out after school and stuff.”
“Oh, that’s cool”, you tell him, not really engaged the conversation. It all sounds well and good, but you really aren’t interested in being a tutor at the moment.
“You know, the church has a lot of great programs”, Jason continues, and you’re not sure what any of this has to do with the Byzantine empire, which is what you’re supposed to be discussing.
“Okay”, you say.
“They do a lot of outreach, a lot of stuff to help people who have lost their way.”
“Lost their way?” you inquire, a small part of you beginning to understand what’s actually going on.
“Yeah. You know. Made bad choices, got mixed up with the wrong people.”
“Um, I think we should just get back to the assignment”, you suggest, uncomfortable with the discussion and not wanting it to go any further.
“Look”, Jason sighs, “what I’m trying to say is, I don’t know you very well, but you seem like a nice girl. I’d hate to see you go down a bad path.”
Okay. You get it now, and it’s starting to piss you off.
“Thank you, but I’m doing just fine”, you insist.
“You’ve been hanging around with Eddie Munson”, Jason says, as if it’s some scandalous secret and not just you spending time with your boyfriend, “you really shouldn’t do that, you know…”
You stare at him, a little dumbfounded he would just up and say such a thing to you.
“You can’t be serious…”, you say.
Jason leans in to you, a deadly serious expression on his face.
“I’ve heard about guys like him before”, he tells you, “I know the stuff they’re into.”
Yeah, so do you. It’s tabletop role playing games, which is about the least nefarious activity you could possibly think of. Jason clearly doesn’t see it that way, though, because he’s still going on.
“And I know they like to lure innocent people like you into their little organizations. I’m telling you, Munson is bad news. You should stay away before you get hurt.”
You seriously have to hold yourself back from laughing right in Jason’s face. You’re not sure what reality he’s living in, but it clearly isn’t the same one you are. Last weekend, you and Eddie had watched Terms of Endearment and he’d started to cry (well started tearing up at least, even sniffled a little, though he vehemently denied it). There’s not a single situation in which you can ever imagine him causing you intentional harm.
“Okay, you know what”, you say, “I think I’m gonna finish the rest of the assignment alone, thanks.”
Jason grabs your arm gently but firmly. “I’m serious, Y/N. He’s dangerous. Stay away from him before you end up hurt or killed.”
You’re really not sure what the most offensive part of all this is. It’s either that Jason thinks that somehow Eddie Munson, your lovable dork of a boyfriend,is secretly an evil Satanist cult leader, or that you’re apparently too stupid or naive to make that kind of judgment for yourself. Maybe it’s that he volunteered to work with you on an assignment and acted all friendly with you just so he could get this opportunity to preach to you about your supposedly “dangerous” lifestyle. He’s never given you the time of day before, after all.
“I don’t know what it is you think you see in him, but I promise you it’s not going to end well.”
You snort. Is he, what, jealous or something? He’s got a girlfriend, after all, and plenty of other girls who’d be willing to take her place if she were to leave him. It’s kind of sad that he’s apparently so insecure that the mere thought of Eddie Munson getting female attention is enough to have him losing his shit like this.
“Whatever”, you spit, “just leave me alone.”
He glares at you, but ultimately turns his attention to his textbook and doesn’t speak to you for the rest of the class.
-
You happily shove the encounter out of your mind once the bell rings. You’re perfectly content with the social circle you keep, and you’re not going to let some jock with an inflated sense of self importance change that.
Jason apparently doesn’t do the same because he spends lunch glaring at you from his table. Granted, him shooting disgusted looks in the general direction of the Hellfire Club is a regular occurance, but today he’s making it obvious his ire is directed specifically at you.
“What the fuck is his problem?” Eddie asks.
“I dunno”, you shrug, “he’s just an asshole.”
Eddie peers at him for a moment and you can see a familiar glint of mischief twinkle in his eye. Before you can comment, he’s dramatically pushing himself to his feet and sauntering over to Jason and company.
“What do you want?” Jason demands.
“Couldn’t help but notice you staring”, Eddie says, “just wanted to let you know that I’m flattered, but unfortunately you aren’t really my type. Sorry.”
“Fuck off”, Jason barks, “disgusting freak.”
“Don’t take it too hard”, Eddie says, giving him a joking pat on the shoulder before making his way back over to you. You stifle a laugh at the indignant look plastered on Jason’s face. Eddie shoots you a proud grin and you shake your head affectionately. Jason clearly doesn’t know shit about “guys like Eddie.”
-
The next few days pass by uneventfully. Jason doesn’t try talking to you again, which you’re thankful for. Wednesday starts out normally, you go to history, and Jason roundly ignores your presence. Then you have to go to your next class, which is gym.
Definitely not a favorite of yours, and you don’t even have Eddie in your class to ease the pain. You make it through your warm ups, and then the coach has you split up to practice your volleyball serves. Everything’s going well until Andy, one of Jason’s buddies, approaches you out of nowhere.
“Hey, Henderson”, he says, a smirk on his face, “you think you could score me some weed?”
You look at him, confused. You don’t get involved in Eddie’s side hustle, so you’re not sure why he’d ask you.
“What?”
“Oh, I just figured you probably get a good discount”, he goes on, “I mean, that’s why you let Munson fuck you, right?”
You freeze in shock, your cheeks starting to grow hot. You can’t say you’re used to people making comments about your sex life, especially not to your face.
“I mean, I gotta say”, Andy continues, a cruel glint in his eye, “I didn’t take you for a slut. But come on. Spreading your legs for that freak? Jesus, that’s sad. You know, I’d be happy to show you a good time, since you’re so desperate for it.”
You can only stand there, mouth agape. Sure, you’ve gotten a gross comment or two from a male classmate before, but nothing like this. You certainly have never been called a slut before. You try to formulate a response, but you can’t come up with one. It doesn’t matter anyway, because the coach’s whistle rings out, signaling for you all to hit the changing rooms. You dash out of the gym, more than pleased to be away from Andy.
You hop in the shower in the locker room, take a few moments to shake off the discomfort of the interaction. You’re not entirely successful in that endeavor, because it keeps playing in your mind even after you’re dressed and making your way back into the hallways.
You have no idea where the hell Andy came up with all of that. At this point, it’s common knowledge that you and Eddie are dating, but you don’t know where this idea that you’re sleeping with him for drugs came from. It couldn’t be further from the truth.
“Hey, Beautiful”, you’re distracted from your thoughts by Eddie, who comes happily bounding over to you. His face falls when he sees the look on your face though.
“You okay?” he asks.
“I’m fine”, you say. Something about the idea of telling Eddie about what happened leaves a bad taste in your mouth. It’s embarrassing, and you definitely don’t want him to feel like it’s somehow his fault that Jason and Andy are giving you a hard time.
Besides, it doesn’t matter. Once again, nothing they say about you or Eddie is true. You can’t let some stupid jocks get to you.
-
Honestly, you probably could’ve been okay, if that was the end of it. Unfortunately, things only get worse the next day.
As you make your way to your seat in history, you catch sight of Amber and Samantha, two cheerleaders who like to hang around Jason and the others, whispering as you walk by.
You ignore them, figuring you’re being paranoid and they probably aren’t even talking about you, but when you sit down, Amber turns and looks you right in the eye.
She raises her voice then, clearly intending for you to hear what she’s saying.
“I hope she’s gotten tested”, she tells Samantha, “I can’t imagine what nasty shit the Freak is passing on to her.”
You take a deep breath, turning away from her.
It doesn’t matter, you tell yourself, it’s not true.
“I hope the drugs are worth it,” Samantha says.
You clench your jaw as you slip into your seat. It shouldn’t bother you so much. It's not true, and even if it were, who cares what Amber and Samantha have to say about it?
You’re dating Eddie because you like him. You like the way he’s always joking around and making you laugh, you like that he makes a point of looking out for Dustin and his friends, you like the way he looks at you with those big puppy dog eyes and flashes that mischievous grin. Cheap access to his drugs has never even crossed your mind.
You shouldn’t concern yourself with what they say, you know that, but hearing your name in connection with “slut” grinds at you.
-
During gym class, you do your best to avoid Andy, because everytime he notices you looking at him, he’s making some suggestive gesture at you. You don’t bother telling anyone about it, since Andy’s on the basketball team and the coach would probably take his side.
In the hallway, you accidentally bump into Patrick from the basketball team. You mutter an apology, which he accepts, but his girlfriend gives you the dirtiest look you’ve ever seen.
“Don’t talk to her”, you hear her tell him as you walk away, “she’s a slut.”
-
All of the gossip has put you in a foul mood by the time you get to your second to last period of the day, which happens to be study hall.
Like always, it’s in the cafeteria, with you and a bunch of other students of varying grade levels all sitting around doing your homework. Technically, you’re not supposed to talk, but the teacher in charge is way too underpaid to worry about enforcing that, so you can usually get away with conversation as long as things don’t get too rowdy.
You’re not taking advantage of that today, rather trying your best to distract yourself by actually doing your homework. You’re halfway through summarizing Act 3 of Hamlet when you hear someone say your name.
“Hey, Y/N…”
You’re confused when you look up to find Lucas standing there. Technically, you’ve known him for years, but it’s not like you’ve ever associated with him outside the time he spends with Dustin.
“What?” you ask, a little meaner than you mean to.
“I just thought you should know that…well, I think Jason has been going around saying things about you.”
Of course. You should’ve known Jason was behind this. Jason fucking Carver. Captain of the Basketball Team. Active member of the local church. Son of one of the most respected families in Hawkins. He’s clearly used to people listening to whatever he has to say. Apparently, his ego couldn’t handle you dismissing his comments about your relationship with Eddie.
Jesus, you’d always known he was a bit of an asshole, but this is a level of pettiness you’d never expected, even from him.
“Don’t tell him I told you”, Lucas adds, “but I just thought you should know.”
“Thank you”, you say. You’re definitely glad to have that piece of information.
-
The next day, you storm into Mr. Price’s classroom with righteous fury coursing through your veins. You bypass your desk and instead march straight up to Jason.
He pauses his conversation with Andy and Samantha when he sees you approach.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” You demand.
“Excuse me?” Jason asks.
“I know you’ve been starting rumors about me”, you tell him, “what exactly is your problem, Jason?”
“Me? I don’t have a problem”, Jason insists, “I just think it’s fair the men of Hawkins High get a warning about your ‘extracurricular’ activities.”
You can feel heat flood your cheeks.
“You’re a dick, Jason!” you hiss.
“You know, Y/N”, Jason retorts, “I actually feel bad for you. I mean, no decent man is ever going to want you when they find out you’ve been giving it up to some trailer trash freak.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about”, you snap.
“Believe me, I know exactly what happens to girls who hang around with filthy, Satan-worshiping scumbags”, he says, “and you know what? I’m not going to feel sorry for you when they’re finding your body dumped in the woods.”
“Get over yourself!”
“Whatever”, Jason shakes his head, “I’m not gonna take the attitude from some little slut.”
You’re not fully in control of yourself during what happens next. One second you’re standing there listening to Jason degrade you, the next your fist is connecting with his face.
He stands there, stunned for a moment, before opening his mouth to say something. He doesn’t get the chance though, because Mr. Price gets to it first.
“Ms. Henderson”, he gasps, “Mr. Carver, what on earth is going on here?”
“She punched me in the face”, Jason spits accusingly.
“I-I…I’m sorry I…”
“Enough”, Mr. Price sighs, “I want both of you going to the principal’s office right now!”
-
You’re in deep shit. That much is immediately clear. You punched Jason Carver in the face. It’s not like you even claim it was self defense, since he didn’t do anything physical to you.
“So”, Principal Higgins sighs, “tell me what happened again?”
“She punched me in the face”, Jason hisses.
“Is that true?”
“Yes”, you sigh, “but he called me a slut.”
Principal Higgins rubs his temple, processing the information. Meanwhile, Jason’s gaze is fixed firmly on you, his eyes full of hatred.
“Mr. Carver”, Higgins says finally, “that is not appropriate language to use in regards to another student. You may go back to class, but I better not hear about something like this again.”
Jason stands and marches out of the office, as if he has a right to be pissed about Higgins’ scolding. You suppress the urge to roll your eyes. Of course he gets a slap on the wrist. Nobody wants to punish the star basketball player. You’re certain that if it were anyone else, Eddie or Dustin or one of the other Hellfire Club members, they definitely wouldn’t be getting off so easily.
“Now, as for you Ms. Henderson”, Higgins says, “we do not allow for any sort of violence in this school. However, in all your years at this school, you have never had to receive any form of discipline. So I’m willing to be flexible here. Normally, something like this could be grounds for suspension, but since this is your first time, I say it’s two weeks detention after school starting next Monday. Does that sound fair to you?”
Not really, no, but you can’t say that.
“Yes”, you reply instead.
“Alright. Good. Now go back to class. And Ms. Henderson, I sincerely hope I won’t have to see you in my office again.”
-
You’re in a bad mood when Mr. Price’s class finally ends. You’ve gone your entire high school career without getting a detention and now you’ve ruined that over some pompous dick bag. Speaking of, Jason has been staring daggers at you since you returned to class, and is continuing to do so even now as you’re leaving.
There’s a tense, awkward moment where you both stand there in the hallway, glaring at each other, but it’s broken when the force of a body colliding with your back almost takes you off your feet. Jason is forgotten when a pair of arms wrap around your waist from behind.
“Eddie”, you huff playfully.
“How’d you know it was me?” he asks as you turn around to face him.
“Cause you can’t keep your hands to yourself, Munson”, you reply.
“Don’t blame me”, he replies, “you know I’m powerless to resist your charms.”
Before you can reply he’s pulling you close and beginning to press kisses to your cheek. You know the two of you are making a scene, and on any other day you might be a little self conscious about it, but today you’re just glad to have him around.
His kisses stop suddenly and you realize he’s stopped because he’s finally noticed Jason’s hateful glaring. Unfazed as always, he just flashes a cocky smile and gives Jason a mocking impression of a friendly wave. Jason makes a face like he’s wishing for both you and Eddie’s violent deaths.
“Geez”, Eddie comments, “he looks pissed.”
“Um, yeah, probably because I punched him in the face”, you mutter.
Eddie’s eyes widen in obvious surprise.
“He had it coming”, you add, “he was being a Dick.”
You know you don’t have to defend yourself to Eddie. He knows better than anyone how nasty Jason can be.
“My, my, Fair Lady Henderson”, he smiles, “I dare say that was very Metal of you.”
“Yeah, well, Higgins didn’t think so”, you reply, “I got two weeks detention for it.”
“Ol’ Higgins never did have a sense of humor”, Eddie says, “but from where I’m standing, you’re basically a hero.”
“Really?”
“Hell yeah”, Eddie tells you, “Jason and his goons have been making our lives miserable for years.”
You can’t help but smile at that. You’re definitely not happy with the day’s events, but knowing Eddie’s on your side makes it a little more bearable.
-
On Monday you begrudgingly make your way to Mrs. Cline’s room for your first day of detention.
“Ms. Henderson?” she asks when you walk in.
“Yeah”, you say, a little embarrassed.
“Wonderful”, she says, checking your name off of a list in front of her, “please take a seat.”
There’s only two other people in there with you, so you just pick a seat as far from them as possible and sit down.
“Alright”, Mrs. Cline says, “looks like everyone’s here except…”
“I’m here.”
You look up in surprise to see Eddie come walking into the room.
“Ah, yes, Mr. Munson”, Mrs. Cline says dryly, “what a surprise. Please take a seat.”
You know that Eddie isn’t a stranger to detention, but it’s weird that he didn’t mention anything to you when you’d told him about it. He walks over to the desk next to yours, looking way too pleased for someone who’s about to serve a stint in detention.
“What are you doing here?” you ask.
“Oh, you know, got caught vandalizing the boy’s locker room during free period”, he tells you.
“What? When?”
“Friday”, he says with a satisfied smirk.
You frown. This must’ve happened after the whole Jason thing on Friday which means…
Which means Eddie did it knowing that you were also going to be in detention.
“Eddie”, you say, “did you get detention just because I did?”
“I couldn’t let you have all the fun, could I?” he grins.
You can’t help but smile along with him.
“Mr. Munson, Ms. Henderson”, Mrs. Cline calls from her desk, “no talking during detention.”
Eddie mimes zipping his lips and waits until Mrs. Cline looks away before giving you a playful wink. You stifle a giggle.
You don’t know Jason all that well, but you’re pretty sure he would never dream of landing himself in detention just to keep his girlfriend company. You’ve never seen him make a scene in the middle of the hallways to get her to smile. That’s the thing about this that really gets under your skin. Jason and the others don’t know shit. They think that just because Eddie doesn’t fall into their narrow definition of “acceptable”, he must be scary and dangerous. They think that just because you’re not afraid of him, you must be dirty and corrupted. They’re too close-minded to look closer and see that Eddie is the sweetest boyfriend you could ever imagine, that you spend time with him because he makes you happy. They’d rather write him off as a freak and you off as a slut than accept that maybe their perception is wrong.
You’re far from being a violent person, but you can’t say you regret what you did. Jason deserved to be put in his place, and it’s not like you did any serious damage to him anyway. You’re glad you stood up for yourself, for Eddie. You’ve probably tacked “psycho bitch” onto your already unflattering “whore” reputation, but at this point, you’re not sure you care. If being a freak means you get to spend your days with the love of your life, you will gladly accept that label.
-
After the designated two hours are up, Mrs. Cline dismisses you all.
“Well, that wasn’t so bad”, you say as you and Eddie start making your way through the hall.
“Nah”, he replies, “I mean it’s boring but it’s not bad.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not planning on having to do this again”, you continue, “but it’s bearable.”
Eddie nods.
“I’m sorry, by the way”, he adds.
“For what?”
“Jason and the others. They’ve been giving you a hard time, right?”
“Yeah”, you shrug, “it is what it is. Not your fault.”
“I mean it kind of is”, Eddie replies, “they’re only doing it because you’re dating me.”
“Eddie”, you say, “Jason’s an asshole, okay? That’s not on you. If he can’t handle our relationship, then fuck him.”
That gets a grin out of Eddie.
“You know, you’re getting to be quite a rabble rouser, Henderson”, he jokes.
“I’m learning from the best”, you tease back.
Eddie’s smile widens. He follows you out to your car and then presses a soft kiss to your lips.
“See you tomorrow, Sweetheart”, he says and then heads off to his van. You watch him go, butterflies still lingering in your tummy from the contact.
If you’d actually had any doubts about Eddie, they would’ve disappeared in that moment. That feeling, it’s a one of a kind thing. No one’s ever managed to give it to you before, and you’re not sure anyone else ever will. You love Eddie. He loves you. He’s sweet, and silly and he treats you right. If your peers want to believe a bunch of bullshit about you two, then let them. You know what you have, and you’re not going to let them ruin it for you.
Grinning to yourself, you hop in your car, put the Black Sabbath tape you borrowed from Eddie into the player and head home.
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sunflowergraves · 1 year
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Unpacking Will Solace’s Character
I’ve seen a lot of Will Solace hate since TSATS and it’s really starting to bother me. As a person that relates heavily to Will’s character, it’s upsetting to see him get bashed across the internet, especially considering we’ve never actually gotten to know his character. Personally, I feel like a lot of people are basing his character around headcanons and fanfiction (which I am guilty of) and were disappointed when he wasn’t who we saw him as. 
It doesn’t help that the only time we got to see Will’s POV it was short and through the eyes of others. He’s also not this big hero like all the characters in the PJO universe. His powers aren’t that strong, he’s not a prophecy child, and his talents are mediocre. Will is the most human demigod we’ve ever been introduced to. I can understand why his character doesn’t feel multi-dimensional compared to everyone else, but in my opinion, he was fleshed out very well. 
Yes, there are a few things I was disappointed by. I wish they talked about Will’s past more and his grief over his dead siblings. I wanted him to have his own weapon, even if it was an old bow he never used or a lyre like Apollo used in TOA. But I will always love that they changed him from the calm, collected counselor healer to an anxious, depressed, self-doubting person because it fits him so well. How could he not feel these things after losing friends and family? After being abandoned by everyone around him? Or being forced to take on the caretaker role of the entire camp because he was the only one left? 
I’m going to continue this down below, so if you don’t want major spoilers for TSATS, don’t continue reading. Also this is long as hell in case you just want to skim. 
Every time Will was mentioned in the books, it was from someone else’s POV and it was a few lines at best. 
Will has always been described as the cool, relaxed, go-with-the-flow type of guy. He was the person with a level head and knew exactly what to do. But guess what? Underneath that cool exterior was an anxiety riddled people pleaser who threw himself at every problem because that’s what he was told to do. The Apollo cabin was always the head medic team. After Lee and Michael died, Will was basically thrust into that position of power. He was trusted to take care of his younger siblings, trusted to take care of the entire camp. If he let them down, it was going to cost lives. Of course he’s going to be scared and nervous, but he can’t show that. Would you want a doctor with shaky hands and sweat running down their neck? Would you want to be taken care of by a person who doubted and second guessed themselves out in the open? 
As someone who was given a lot of responsibly and forced to grow up at a young age, I completely understand this. You want to try to make everything better for others around you, you get scared when you fuck up, and you HATE when people can’t rely on you. That’s why you will never show how scared you are to fuck up. You will never let people get inside your head because if they can’t rely on you, what good are you? Breaking out of the role that everyone else gave you because they trusted you is scary and hard. 
Nico is probably the only person who knows what Will really thinks. Will trusts Nico with his anxiety and overthinking because he’s comfortable enough around him to show that side. He knows he doesn’t have to Mr. Hero in front of Nico and that’s such a precious and important bond to make with someone. 
Will was valid for being whiny and irritated for most of the book. 
First, Will has ANXIETY. If you don’t know what it’s like to live with anxiety, count yourself lucky. It feels like your thoughts are attacking you constantly. It’s like an uphill battle between rational thought and absolute chaos. I can’t get in my car without thinking of all the ways I could die before I buckle my seatbelt. Imagine going to SuperHell for the first time in your life! Not only that, but people told Will constantly that as a child of Apollo he was basically fucked. The three strongest demigods that made it back almost went insane! Of course Will is going to be upset, irrational, irritated, and uncomfortable. 
In TOA, he voiced several times how he thought it was a bad idea and that he really didn’t like it. This is not a new thing for Will’s character at all. For him to be willing to cross a line he had made concrete shows that he loves and cares for Nico. But that shouldn’t mean he isn’t allowed to be uncomfortable. 
Second, for anyone saying he could have stayed at camp instead of going has never sacrificed their comfort for someone else. There are so many instances in my life where I went way out of my comfort zone because I knew my friends/family wanted me there. Did I complain? Hell yes. Did I still do it? Hell yes! If Will had said, “Nico, I can’t do this and I refuse to at least try,” I would have lost so much respect for his character. Instead he sucked it up, even when he was already practically dying before they got there. 
Three, Will was worried about Nico. He’s never experienced Tartarus, he’s never been to the Underworld. While Will has definitely faced his share of demons, he’s never stood in Nico’s shoes. So when his boyfriend is having vivid nightmares and hearing voices, he’s going to try and rationalize it for Nico because that’s what he has done his entire life. Will is the “healer.” He is supposed to fix things, not let them traipse off to hell like it’s a vacation spot. 
Four, this is a 15 year old. Fuck, even now at the ripe ole age of 20, I’d still be shaking in my boots terrified at the thought of going somewhere that is practically a jailhouse for the worst creatures in creation. Will has little to no experience on the field (He ran from six guards without even trying to pull out a weapon. The worst thing he’s ever said to his enemies was “anemic loser” and didn’t even want to kill Octavian. Every battle before that he had an older sibling to look up to and care for him). So yeah, I’d just be a tad bit nervous and annoying.  
Will asking Persephone how to love someone from the Underworld was honest and raw. 
This scene broke me in ways I can’t even describe because of how real it felt. If you’ve ever been in a deep and caring relationship (friendship counts) you should understand. Like Persephone said, love is something you choose and it’s complicated and messy even for people who were practically made for each other. For Will to ask how to love someone from the Underworld shows that he is actively choosing to understand and love Nico. 
I get that most people interpret Will’s lines as “How do you love someone so filled with death?” but really he’s asking how do you love someone who acts like he doesn’t want to be loved? How do you love someone that pulls away from your light no matter how desperately you try to give it them? How do you love someone who hides parts of themselves from you? 
Will is a healer, he fixes things. It’s not until this scene that Will realizes the only thing Will needs to fix is his perspective on Nico. That darkness and hurt and trauma is okay. It’s also a scene where Will realizes he doesn’t have to force down his own trauma anymore. 
Will loves Nico and it’s so obvious he scared to lose him. He thinks he’s weak and broken and incapable of helping Nico escape his trauma. His insecurities shadow him and he’s confused about how to navigate this relationship because he thinks he needs to be the leader. How can he lead if Nico won’t let him? How can he help when he doesn’t know how? Persephone’s scene was Will’s chance of finding guidance from someone who could understand exactly what he’s thinking
People in their late 40′s still can’t get relationships down. Why are we pushing unrealistic relationship ideations on a 15 year old who doesn’t even know who he is yet?
Will was not useless. 
Sorry that the relationship duo isn’t Mr. Badass and Mr. Badass 2.0. Will not being a fighter is refreshing to see because honestly I’m quite tired of seeing badass couples in every book/movie. Not everyone is strong and powerful and super awesome. Will is a nerd that likes healing people. Why isn’t that enough? 
“He’s described as having muscles,” “He’s a field/combat medic,” “He fought in the wars,” “He carries people all the time,” “He trains with the Apollo cabin.” Okay and? I was raised to work hard and protect myself. I work out and I know how to use a bow and knife. Does that mean I want to? No. 
I’d also like to point out that almost everyone in camp is described as having muscles. You kind of have to when your life motto is Try not to die or get eaten. Also they train on lava walls, jump eight foot pits, and weapons. I get a little bit of muscle going on my silly little walks, I’d be fucking jacked if I was actively training. 
Second, Will has never once been described fighting monsters/demigods. I don’t doubt that he’s had a few encounters, but the boy practically specializes in RUNNING AWAY. He’s a feral little animal that finds injured demigods and sprints them away to the medic center while occasionally bashing monster heads in. He’s strong because he needs to be, not because he wants to be. Strength also doesn’t equal battle prowess. 
Not to mention, he hates killing! He didn’t want to kill Octavian despite Octavian being the actual worst. He runs away as a distraction even though he had weapons on him. He got upset when Nico threw Sherman Yang out of the chariot in TOA. Monsters are different, but monsters are also scary. Will is terrified of demon pigeons, you really think he’s willingly gonna go one-on-one with anything bigger than his pinky? 
I’ll admit, I hated that he didn’t have a weapon in Tartarus. I thought it was really stupid and out-of-character because my anxious ass would have loaded up. Still, it was kind of funny when they described Will bashing rocks over monster’s heads during their fight with Nyx. 
My final point for this: Will was Nico’s support system and that was the point. Will knew he wasn’t going to throw hands with anyone. He went because he knew Nico needed him even when Nico told him to stay. Will was going to trek through SuperHell with the love of his life and hold his hand to remind him that he was loved. Will wanted Nico to know that he’d literally go to Hell and back for him and that’s what mattered. 
Nico didn’t ask Will to be the Hero. Nico states several times that the reason he loves Will is because he wants to heal and he’s so stubborn to find the good in everything. And that’s exactly what Will did. He offered support, care, and reminders. He was going to understand and love Nico, even through the darkest parts of his life. 
Will is one of the best support systems in a PJO couple duo. 
It makes me incredibly sad to see people call Will toxic when he gave his entire life to support Nico. I won’t deny that he complained a lot and said hurtful things and that he occasionally belittles Nico’s feelings. But Will didn’t know he was doing those things. He thought he was helping Nico navigate his PTSD. How is someone who is still emotionally developing his own character supposed to know how to take care of someone else’s? 
Will also clearly showed love and affection towards Nico. He met all his friends and was polite to them even when they looked scary. Will risked his life several times before they got to Tartarus and still insisted on continuing. Built a Minecraft house for his boyfriend and left him a KitKat bar because he knew he would feel fatigued (also Will brought KitKat bars, meaning he was already thinking of Nico’s health beforehand). He tried to be useful by scouting ahead because he felt like he was being a burden on Nico. He kissed him, called him silly nicknames, hugged him, respected his boundaries (asking to hold him instead of trying to comfort him immediately), and oh yeah, went to Tartarus when he was obviously quaking in his flipflops. 
He also helped Bob when he had no idea who/what he was, comforted Nico when he was beginning to lose hope, acknowledged his mistakes and admitted he needed to try harder, realized he didn’t need to fix Nico and that his boyfriend was perfect the way he was, and learned that Nico wasn’t going to leave him. 
Love is complicated. Love is something you choose. And Will chooses to love Nico. Also for everyone saying a year is long enough to learn/realize these problems already and have them solved, you need to take the rose tinted glasses off. I’ve been with my partner for almost four years, and I’m still learning things about our relationship. We argue, we don’t always meet eye-to-eye. Our own trauma and experiences surface and it gets difficult. But do we just call it quits and throw everything into the trash? No. We talk, we problem-solve, we come back and try to understand each other even if we don’t know how to do that. A year is nothing. A year is puppy love and excitement. It’s like your favorite movie on repeat. All the problems are ignored because you don’t want to see them yet. 
So for a pair of 15 year old's who just came to terms with their sexuality, I think that they are doing pretty damn good at this love thing. 
Anyway, that’s all I really wanted to say. Even though we’ve had Will for years, we’ve never gotten to know his true character until now. It’s raw and weird and doesn’t fit the mold of Will Solace, son of Apollo we all created him to be. You can still hate his character or whatever, I’m not going to try to change your mind. But don’t hate on everyone else who loves him and loves this book. 
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ok, well, take your time! I don’t mind the wait!
141+ Alejandro with a reader who shows their love through aggressiveness? Like, their way of saying “i love you” is “sleep with one eye open tonight, bitch”
or “shut up or I’ll punch you” but in reality, they would die for said person, and would also kill for said person.
probably HAS killed for said person.
this is totally not a self indulgent ask, what would lead you to that conclusion?!?!?
it might be a bit self indulgent
So like, I’m kind of this way I’m very much a person who finds being vulnerable difficult so this shouldn’t be too hard lol
Aggressively Affectionate Reader with 141 + Alejandro
Price
Firstly, never think that you could ever scare this man off with how aggressive you can be. He's a military captain, aggressiveness doesn't bother the man at all
Has gotten used to your "threats" as you call them, he knows you would never hurt him
"If you don't go bed, I'm beating your ass." You threatened from the door way of his office.
"Give me ten more minutes, love." He said without looking up at his reports.
He appreciates every little thing you do for him and finds it somehow sweet that you do it with aggressiveness
If you slam a coffee down in front of him, grumbling that you won't do it again when you do it everyday, he'll give you a kiss on the cheek or a quick squeeze on your hand
Knows when you're actually angry or when you're just your usual grumpy self
He let's you know that you don't always have to be guarded around him and makes sure you feel safe enough to vulnerable when you want to be
Likes your soft moments just as much as he likes your normal moments
Ghost
Being military, your aggressiveness doesn't make him nervous but it does put him off at first
Coming from a not so great background, he doesn't appreciate being talked down to or threatened so if you want to be with him, you need to make it clear that you're not actually threatening him
When he figures it out, he's a lot less on edge especially since you have toned it down for his sake
You're still aggressive towards him but in very different way.
“Shut up and let me help you.” You demanded as you grabbed the med kit.
“Did you just tell me to shut up, sergeant?” He narrowed his eyes at you but let you patch him up.
Has had to tell you multiple times not to pick fights with people who get on his nerves though he likes to know that you have a his back
Will definitely call you out if you’re being too mean and won’t stand for any mistreatment if you start to get mad
In his mind, he associates you with a cat and has called you one multiple times just to watch you send him glares
Soap
He's friends with Ghost, so he's used to cold or aggressive people and of course being in the military he's not phased at all buy it
You don't intimidate him, in fact any time you threat him he makes a similar threat back just to one up you and to see what your reaction will be
"I'm going to shave that stupid mohawk off your head." You groaned when you saw him back on base since leave.
"Do that and I’ll lock ya out of your room." He kissed your forehead with a smile.
He knows you always have his back when you're both out on the field and he always has your back.
Had watched you kill people who have hurt him or tried to in some pretty violent ways but it makes him feel safe
Sometimes you do hurt his feelings but he’s not afraid to tell you that you did and when he does you usually apologize, making sure to try not to let it happen again
"I hate you."
"I love you too."
Gaz
Again military, so he’s used to it and honestly he doesn’t even really notice it anymore
You could say the most outlandishly rude thing to him without actually meaning it and he wouldn’t bat an eye
He just shows you affection by hugging or kissing you on the cheek when you do it and likes that it makes you get more mad at him
“Stop or I’ll punch you.” You threaten as he placed another kiss on your neck.
“Go ahead and try.” He just buries his face into your neck more.
If anyone dares to say that you don’t care about anyone but especially him then he will be your number one defender.
He hates that people don’t understand that this is just how you express yourself and they you’re not actually trying to be hurtful
Worries a lot about how you have tendency to get yourself into trouble when you’re both of missions together and makes sure you understand that he would never forgive you if you died saving him
(he would forgive you eventually)
Alejandro
Nothing you could ever say will take away the heart eyes he has when he looks at you
Like Gaz, he’s so used to it that when you aren’t being aggressively affectionate with him he’s incredibly worried that something horrible happened to you
“Do not make me come over there.” You threatened as you pointed the knife you were sharping at him.
“What if I want you over here, mi vida?” He smirked as he looked you up at down.
When you do something for him, such as cook for him or get him coffee, he returns the gestures twice as much and it makes you even more aggressively affectionate
You two sound like you’re always arguing but you’re really just having a normal conversation, that’s just how it is
He is always alert when you’re on missions with him because he knows that you lay your life down for him and he’s not about to let you die on his watch
Sorry this took so long! Hope you like <3
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lxclerc · 2 years
Text
𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 | 𝐝𝐫𝟑
SUMMARY: in which daniel is terrified the whirlwind of his world would make you leave him. REQUEST: from anon: “Angry!daniel cause ever since y/n and him went public, paps won't leave her alone and she feels overwhelmed so he gets pissed and goes off on them”  WARNING: invasive paps, hints of anxiety PAIRING: daniel ricciardo x reader WORD COUNT: 1.9k
NOTE: i actually genuinely hate this haha definitely not my best writing
MASTERLIST
I’d give you my sunshine, give you my best. But the rain is always gonna come if you’re standing with me. Is it enough if I never give you peace?
The first time you got sent hate after going public with Daniel, you laughed it off as you showed it to your boyfriend, finding the entire concept of someone going out of their way and taking time out of their day and putting in effort just to send such brainless comments about someone they’ve never talked to. 
“My first hate comment,” you joke, placing your head against his shoulder. “Does this mean I’ve made it?”
But Daniel doesn’t seem to find it as funny as his arms wrapped around you, a frown on his face as he gently took the phone from you, already making a mental note of the usernames. “I can speak up about this. Maybe lessen it a little.”
Your laugh cuts off when you realize he’s genuinely upset and so you take your phone back, putting it down as you place your chin against his chest, looking up at him to meet his eyes. “You don’t have to, Dan. It’s just a bunch of jealous idiots hiding behind their screens and it means nothing to me. I know what I signed up for when I started dating you.”
Daniel says nothing else, only pulling you closer to him as he meets your lips in a soft kiss, making you smile thinking that was it but still, Daniel couldn’t help the sudden sinking in his stomach. He hates the fact that you’ve accepted that loving him comes with dealing with hate and he can’t help but wonder how long you can take it till you decide it’s enough, making fear rise in his chest. 
The first time you appeared in the Paddock, the whirlwind of photographers and fans alike crowding around you and your boyfriend had you holding on to Daniel’s hand a little tighter, letting him pull you towards him in a subtle way to shield you from the cameras and the prying eyes, a crease appearing in his forehead.
Still, you only smile at him, trying to ignore the crawling in your skin as you give him a reassuring squeeze, not wanting to worry him before a race because of a silly little thing.
However, everyone can see that the public’s interest with you seems to be different from their interest from the other wives and girlfriends. Perhaps it’s because of your bubbly persona or the way Daniel seems so madly in love with you but they took special interest in everything you do, your follower count skyrocketing from a few hundreds consisting of friends to millions in a matter of days. 
“Y/N!” An interviewer called, saying your name as though you’re close friends rather than complete strangers as he all but shoves his mic to your face, making you stumble back a little till Daniel wrapped an arm around your waist to stabilize you. “How do you think Daniel will do this qualifying?” 
Daniel was about to speak, probably to make some excuse that would save you from the intruding interviewer but you only give him a nervous smile, not wanting to cause a scene or make yourself seem snobbish that would in turn reflect on your boyfriend.
And so you answer with as much grace as you can manage, trying to school your features into a smile that you hoped doesn’t look as uncomfortable as it feels. “To be honest with you, I’m still not quite sure how the sport works but one thing is for sure, however Dan performs, I’ll be cheering for him.”
And with that, Daniel is steering you away before anyone can ask anything else, not wanting to overwhelm you the first time that you come to a race to support him. 
“That was weird,” you mutter once you’re far enough away from the group of people, the McLaren motorhome becoming visible as the pit of fear in his returns.
“I’m sorry,” he says immediately, hand holding yours unknowingly becoming tighter. “They can be invasive. I should have told you.”
You’re quick to spot the immediate worry appearing in his voice along with the crease in his eyebrows and so you make sure to give him a smile, planting a kiss on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, Dan. It isn’t your fault and I don’t mind answering a few questions.”
Still, the media’s fascination with you only seems to grow. You’re not entirely sure either for what reason but it only seems to get worse as the entire issue with McLaren reaches the media. You’ve been busy mostly getting Daniel’s mind out of it as the two of you went camping with a few friends, deciding on a no phones allowed week filled with just each other.
The moment you come back though, everything seems to fall over. You aren’t like the usual models like the other WAGs are. You actually do have a boring desk job and an irritating boss and live pretty much a normal life. 
Of course up until you came in for work and a hoard of people with cameras came at you.
“Y/N, did you know about Daniel leaving McLaren?”
“Has Daniel told you about his future?” 
“What do you have to say about McLaren sacking Ricciardo in exchange for Piastri?” 
You can feel your chest getting tighter as you fight through the hoard to get back to your car, wanting nothing more than to get away from the invasive questions. Once your doors are locked and you’re back in the safety of your car, you immediately dial Daniel’s number, hands slightly shaking as cameras continue to go off outside.
“Dan?” Your voice is shaking too, you realize as you take deep breaths.
“Honey?” He asks and you can still hear the sleep lacing his voice. “I thought you’re at work.”
“I was,” you say, suddenly thanking everything that your car is tinted and no one can look inside from the outside. “There are paparazzis here and photographers. They were asking questions about you and I’m just–” You cut yourself off, unable to continue as your voice shakes again. “There’s a few of them surrounding my car.”
“What? Fuck.” Daniel suddenly sounds aware as you hear shuffling from his side as he gets out from the comfort of your shared bed. “I’ll come pick you up. Where are you?”
“No, no,” you say immediately. “I’ll drive home. I just wanted to let you know. They were asking me about McLaren and stuff and I didn’t want you to get in trouble.” 
“Who cares about that?” He sounds angry but you know it isn’t you he’s angry with. “I’ll run them all over.”
“Just stay there,” you tell him, already starting your car. “I’m on my way home.”
You hear him sigh and you know he wants to fight back again, wanting to be the one to pick you up and make sure you’re safe but he also knows there’s no way you’ll agree and so he can only nod his head despite the fact that you can’t see him. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for this, baby.” 
“It’s fine,” you’re quick to say even though you both know it isn’t. “It’s not your fault, Dan.”
“Still,” he insisted. “They’re bothering you because of me.”
You sigh, not knowing what else to say and you sound so tired that it breaks Daniel’s heart. Are you tired of it? Tired of dealing with everything that comes with him? Are you tired of him?
“We’ll talk when I get home,” you say instead.
— 
“Daniel Ricciardo caught punching photographer.”
You sigh as Michael read the words, hand on Daniel’s wrist as you cleaned his wound gently. After a good night in celebration of his p5 finish in Singapore, the last thing you’d expected was this. A dinner date that was going inexplicably well as you and Daniel giggled over glasses of wine, hands entwined on the table. It was almost perfect if it weren’t for the sudden appearance of a couple of men with cameras blocking your paths as you move to go back to your hotel.
Daniel had you behind him, doing his best to shield you away from the prying questions but it was getting harder and harder as the few men became a horde after fans just passing by recognized him. He was trying his best to keep you behind him, arms wrapped around you in an attempt to put a barrier between you and the people you didn’t know.
His plan was to get you safely in the car then maybe he’d come back out to sign some stuff and get pictures, not wanting to completely ignore his supporters. However, that all flew out the window the moment one of the photographers wrapped a hand around your wrist, pulling you back and making you yelp as you almost fell if it weren’t for your boyfriend’s arm around you.
“Hey, man, let her go.” The restrained anger is clear in Daniel’s as he glared at the man still holding on to your arm.
But the man seemed to have heard nothing as he turned to you. “Y/N, I just have a few questions–”
But the photographer was unable to finish his sentence with Daniel’s fist colliding with his face. He’s never been one to result to violence but all he can seem to see is red as the man kept pulling at your wrist and before he knew it, he was pulling his arm back for a punch. 
“I told you to let go of my girlfriend, you fucker,” he spat out at the photographer now on the floor. 
Daniel seems ready to throw another punch but you’re quick to pull him away by his arm, the two of you barely escaping the clicks of cameras and videos that you’re sure is already trending on twitter.
And so here you were, in his hotel room as you cleaned his bloody knuckles, Michael standing over the two of them as he read the headlines. 
“McLaren marketing will handle it,” Daniel says and you know he’s still angry. “At least they’re useful for something.”
You couldn’t help but sigh again as you offer Michael a smile. “We’ll talk to you tomorrow, Mike.”
The trainer thankfully took the hint, nodding as he leaves the two of you by yourselves. For a moment it’s quiet as you entwine your hand with Daniel’s, placing it on your lap. You rest your head against his shoulder as you allow the silence to comfort the two of you.
“I’m sorry,” he said finally. “We were having such a great night.”
You smile softly at him, moving your head so your chin is on his shoulder. “It was still a good night, Dan.”
“I don’t know how you can keep doing it, stay with me and have your privacy be regularly violated.”
Is it okay if I never give you peace?
“Because I love you.” There’s no hesitance in your voice as you say it. “Being with you and watching you do what you love makes it all worth it.”
“For how long?” There’s genuine fear in Daniel’s voice as he asked it, finally voicing out thoughts that have been plaguing his mind for months.
But you only smile that reassured smile of yours at him, seemingly so sure of your answer. “For as long as you want me.”
taglist: @ricsaigaslec @dragon-of-winterfell @coffeehurricanes @rdtbattinson @privcherry7 @miniminescapist @sebsdaniel @strelcka @writing-about-current-obsessions @amsofftrack @lostinketterdam @bisexual-desi @cialovessirlewis @multilovebot @lovelynikol16 @troybolton-14 @ohthemissery @dr3lover @myescapefromthislife @sunf1owerrq
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ethansluvbot · 9 months
Note
enemies to lovers kind of? with ethan landry pretty pls 🙏🏻 like reader thinks he’s ghost face basically how mindy treated ethan haha but they end up kissing 😱
THE GREAT WAR | E. LANDRY
summary: mindy always told you never to trust anyone. that’s exactly what you did, as soon as ethan joined the friend group you couldn’t trust him.
warnings: mentions of gf, just normal movie stuff
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you always had your suspicions about ethan. i mean come on it’s a classic horror movie. the nerdy, socially awkward and let’s be honest female reject, is always the killer.
you kept your distance from him at all times. the only reason you even shared the a room with him was because your friends didn’t believe it. you almost felt rude for the way you would brush him off, silence him and walk away. you didn’t want to be emotionally attached to the wrong person.
mindy always shared her theories to you, her rules in scary movies and surprisingly it intrigued you. you learned never to trust the love interest, not even your closest friends.
your head stays titled down at your book. the breeze gently blowing your hair around. it was sunny out, almost too hot and the breeze blowed perfectly along your shoulders.
the suns glaze on you suddenly stopped as a shadow formed. halting the page of the book you were on you looked up to see mr ghostface himself.
“can i help you?”
you weren’t a rude person, you were just confrontational, you didn’t let people get past you without being truthful. you stared into his soft brown eyes feeling tension lift out of your body.
“no- uh sorry just wanted to talk.”
“well, i’m not interested,” you walk away clutching your book. maybe it was a little harsh but you had a bad feeling about the guy. it always seemed as if he was just lurking around.
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walking into your shared apartment you’re greeted by tara and sam.
“hey y/n! we accidentally forgot to tell you ethan was here.”
you rolled your eyes you knew exactly what the two were going. they started a mission to get you and ethan to become friends for weeks.
“well, don’t worry i’ll be in my room.”
“y/n, we know you don’t trust ethan but you got to try and socialize with him. he’s miserable knowing you hate him.”
grabbing sams shoulder you looked her in the eyes, “i don’t hate him. i just don’t trust him, it’s different!”
“please just hang out with us!! he’s super cute, you guys would look good together.”
“if i hang out with you guys will you shut up?”
the both nod excitedly as you walk over to where the rest of them are.
“y/n, what’s up? i haven’t seen you in so long,” chad exaggerated pulling you into a hug.
“hey guys!”
you catch ethans eyes drifting over to you as he smiles. a slight smiles forms as you begin to talk to the others.
you watch as ethan keeps finding his eyes back on you. nervous to talk to you after your earlier conversation.
the chatter starts to die down as they begin to leave. the only two left were you and ethan, sitting there more awkward then ever.
“hey, um ethan. i’m sorry about how i treat you, it’s just i don’t want anymore of my friends hurt. wes and i were really closer and it’s just hard to trust people.”
he nods, “it’s okay. i probably wouldn’t trust myself either.”
you snort at his awkward humor, “friends?”
“friends.”
“well, i’ll walk you out!”
ethan picks up his phone, coat and keys walking to the door.
“one more thing ethan.”
“yea-”
before he finished you smashed your lips together.
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deadghosy · 2 months
Text
If I was in Hazbin hotel:
Author insert x Hazbin Hotel
Prompt: an author is bored as they decided to jump into their favorite fandom at this very moment.
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Honestly I’m bored asf rn lmao.
Will, the blogger in tumblr known as Deadghosy was bored in his room as he listens to jay aka kub scoutz 😍 playing lil guardsman. Being even more bored they opened their palm as a digital portal opens-
OKAY STOP…at first I was gonna do that story ass shit but let me be real. I died by not getting enough sleep and I popped into hell for not liking those Jesus posts😭
I’d honestly be in the sloth ring for being lazy asf and being tired most of the time. But also be in the gluttony ring as well. A BIG BITCH GOTTA EATTTT😭
But I would probably still be able to go into the pride ring because of my pride in not needing help from people. 😭 I hate asking for damn help irl.
I actually have very sharp canine teeth and bottom rows, I might as well be mistaken for a humanoid demon lol/j
But if did have a demon form, it’s a bear since I eat and sleep all day lmao.
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Alastor wouldn’t “hate hate” me but find me annoying. I would try to get on his good side and never do deals with him obviously cause I like my soul 😍. But dead ass I’m showing him lingo of gen z ☝🏾💀 cause ain’t no way ima hear this deer man yap in a way I can’t understand. This is not no new broadcast from the old times dude. “Salutations!-” HAVIN ASS😕
Friendship level: 5/10
Sir Pentious, I’m teaching this bitch how to do the whip and nae nae 😄. I love him personally cause he so silly sometimes. I would just pop up as he works on weapons but not help him lol. I think personally our friendship would be the kind to talk to each other for a little and stop and repeat😕
Friendship level: 4.5/10
Charlie would like me because of my hyperactive personality sometimes. Like if I’m fixating on something, she would listen and probably tell her father. But mostly i wouldn’t do the trust exercises, she’ll have to drag my black ass to do them 💀
Friendship level: 6/10
Lucifer and I would be so chill dead ass. He’s probably adopt me if I’m gonna be honest cause I also have a duck toy in my room as we speak 😭LITERALLY I MIGHT AS WELL BE A MINI HIM WITH HIM HAVING HYPER FIXATIONS.
Friendship level: 10/10
Vaggie and me, idk she’s chill but short tempered. But I don’t think she would hate me but only he suspicious at first, but then just be chill with me. I would try to help her around but procrastinate lmao
Friendship level: 5.5//10
Husk would probably be chill but not have an opinion on me honestly. It will depend on me just going to talk to him or being nervous to talk to him. I hate being awkward so I would just wave or sit by his bar and chill with him as I draw.
Friendship level: it’s probably between 3/10 and 5/10
Angel and me, idk I feel like I would be a small friend of his to help. He wouldn’t trauma dump that much on me cause I’m just a kid so it would be like “oh my work is shit but my boss is even more shit.” So I would just nod acting like I don’t know what’s going on. Plus, I would probably try to make him something with the help of Lucifer
Friendship level: ima be honest…it’s probably a 4/10 cause I’m a minor and he has problems he need it overcome. He doesn’t need a minor to yap his ear off 😕
The Vee’s…😕ain’t no way ima talk to them front to front if I’m actually gonna be their friends dead ass. I would probably mostly be friends with Velvette to hook me up on outfits😍
Friendship level: -1000/10
Valentino…HAH YOU WOULD HAVE TO CATCH MY BLACK ASS ACTUALLY DEAD IF IM GONNA CHILL WITH THIS BASTARD 😂 I’m burning his whole studio down in a cool ass pyro tf2 mask. Fuck that bitch, all my homies hate Valentino 🤭
ENEMY LEVEL: 10000000/10🖕🏾
Vox, I’m begging him to try to advance my phone so I can prank call heaven and hell at the same time. I’m using so much evil ass shit🦆 like dead ass ima say “I heard your high school bully is in heaven” to an angel so they would go crazy trying to find their bully lmao. But Vox would hate my ass cause..I’m me? Idk lol
Enemy level: 8.5/10
Velvette, eh I feel like we would be mutuals but not too friendly. More like a hook up just so i can get free outfits and she can get a quick teen model and I can leave with the fit fr 😍 no money, free outfit‼️
Friendship level: 4.5/10
Adam and me..we throwin hands. Full on fist to fist. He probably would try to cheat but nahhh, you gettin kicked in the manhood bitch 😄‼️ but yeah me and him, enemies for life. He’s funny I’ll admit, but be honest having him beside you irl💀
Enemy level: he better keep one eye open.
Sera…yeah she not letting me in heaven lmao 😭 that’s all ima say LMAOO
Friendship level: -0/10
Lute will 100% percent kill me for my mouth 😭. I’d probably say GYATT to her for funnies only to get stab. But I would just be quiet and try to be on her good side lmao
Friendship level: 2/10
Emily would like me but would be the type of person to keep me in check with my mouth and vulgar language as I just chill eating all the food in heaven. She def givin me good tours.
Friendship level: a good 7.5/10
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That’s all I have lmao
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svtminghaolove · 1 year
Text
Announcing the engagement - Hip hop unit (SVT)
Hellooo lovlies ~ Do you guys want to know something sick I just realized when I were going to make this post? International GF masterlist has reached over a 1000(!?) notes. That’s insane. Like wow. Thank you. Wow. yeah... Well, enjoy.
Triggers: Online hate
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S.Coups: You guys waited until like 3 months before the wedding until announcing it to the public.
The two of you of course started with telling the members, since half of them were in the building as you said yes. To your surprise, the guys were very surprised by the announcement. Apparently Seungcheol had told no one except from his parents and yours. But even though the guys were surprised, it was a happy one. Everyone were so happy for the two of you, and excited for what's to come.
And his parents wee just happy for the two of you, your parents on the other hand were a bit worried about the potential back lash from social media but still very happy to get Seungcheol as a son-in-law. But to be honest, you were a bit worried about the reactions the two of you would get from the fans, even though you knew that most of Carats liked you together with Seungcheol.
And when you went to the office, the two of you had to stay and talk out the "strategy" of how to deal with the news. It was a long conversation that didn't really help with your nerves.
"You okay?", Seungcheol asked as he parked the car outside your apartment complex. You tilted your head in his direction and gave him a weak smile.
"Just nervous. You're the first one in the group to get married, I don't really know what reaction to expect from the fans", you said and he leaned over and took your hand in his.
"I think they will be happy. Most of them at least", you let out a dry laugh and shook your head. "Of course there is going to be some shock, but we've been together for three and a half year, and public for two and a half. Most of them probably realized where this was going, don't underestimate Carats", he smiled and you rolled your eyes but nodded.
"Yeah, alright. You're right."
"Like always", you snorted and shoved away his hand.
"Goodnight doofus", you laughed and opened the door. "I'll call you when I get home form school tomorrow."
"Yeah, love you"
"Love you too"
And three months later the announcement was made and Seungcheol's prediction had been terribly off. Withing minutes of the announcements you started to get so much hate. People were saying that you were ruining Seungcheol's life and career, that you weren't worthy to be his wife and so on. It got to a point where you couldn't even go to class without running into people who would hurl insults at you.
And Seungcheol was devastated by the reactions, he really not expected people to react this way and found that the only way to deal with this was by doing an official live addressing the "problems" regarding his engagement to you.
He sat completely quiet for the first ten minutes of the live, just staring at the comments rolling in.
"Carats…", he breathed out, trying to keep his tears in and his anger down. "I'm so disappointed and sad about the reactions to my engagement.", he sighed and leaned forward in the chair and put his head in his hands. He went quiet for a little while, collecting his emotions.
"You guys get to have your opinion, I took the decision to become an idol and therefore parts of my private life became public. And if this announcement has somehow made you guys disappointed with me, I'm… I am following my heart here and can't say that I'm sorry for doing so, but I do accept your disappointment.", he looked up again. "But I have to draw the line now. I can't accept the fact that y/n is getting hate sent to her daily. That the last couple of days someone has been sending her threatening text, comments and such. It's become so bad that she can't even go to school anymore.",  his breath was shaking as he breathed in and he pressed his lips together in a thin line.
"If you need to get upset, take it out on me. Y/n hasn't done anything wrong, she didn't choose to become a public figure like I did. I am the one who dragged her into the spotlight, the one who chose to love her, the one who proposed to her. Blame me.", he went quiet again and read the comments. "That's all I've got to say.", and he ended the live.
After his own announcement, the hate toned down quite a lot. Some of the fans even started to speak up for you, saying that they were happy that Seungcheol was marrying someone who made him as happy as you did.
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Wonwoo: The fact that the two of you had gotten engaged was a surprise to literary no one. Everyone knew that you were it for him, his family knew, your family knew, the members knew and even the fans knew that if Wonwoo was going to get married, it was going to be with you.
That also meant that it was no hurry for the two of you to announce it yet. Of course the two of you called you families, both part who was really happy for the two of you (but like said, not really surprised). Then you and Wonwoo decided to just take it easy for a couple of days, since you had the chance anyhow. You guys spent a lot of time at home just talking and dreaming about the future; When and where should the wedding be? Should it be traditional Korean or a westernized wedding? How many should you invite? Where should the honeymoon be?
The two of you got pretty caught up in your own heads, so much that Wonwoo completely forgot to inform the members about the fact that you had said yes. He had told them before the weekend that he was going to propose and by the end of the weekend the group chat were going crazy. Unluckily for the guys Wonwoo had tuned off his notifications, and the guys didn't want to call incase they would interrupt something.
So when the next practice day came he was basically ambushed by twelve curious men asking: "DID SHE SAY YES!?".
"Oh, right I forgot to text you guys, didn't I?", Wonwoo laughed softly. "Yeah, she said yes.", and cheers erupted from the guys. He was hugged, congratulated and patted on the back. And then he had to go through how he did it, Hoshi and Jeonghan wanted and reenactment but Wonwoo settled with just telling them.
You guys decided to hold on from telling Carats and the public for a few weeks as well but when then you guys announced it by posting a picture of him holding your bejeweled hand and the caption:
'Thank you for coming into my life and deciding to stay in it.
I hope Carats are as happy as we are about this
Thank you so much for everything <3'
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Mingyu: Everyone close to the two of you basically already knew, I mean: DK and Hoshi were helping out getting the house ready. And Mingyu couldn't keep his mouth shut, he had talked to everyone and discussed how to get the most romantic proposal with all the members.
So since everyone had known that today was the day, it wasn't actually the two of you who spread the news that you had said yes: it was DK and Hoshi. After congratulating the two of you (and asking if it was okay to tell people) they left the two of you alone and updated the other guys on what had happened. You and Mingyu on the other hand just enjoyed each other and the first evening the two of you had been off work in a long while.
When the daybreak came your phones were filled with congratulations and a text from his manager just telling Mingyu to just say when. Both of you knew that it wouldn't be possible to keep this quiet (Because Mingyu would snitch on the two of you) for long and therefore it only took a few days before the announcement was made.
Out of all the members engagement announcements, this was probably the one who broke the most hearts. The internet got filled with teenage girls crying their hearts out in the comment sections of his Instagram, willowing in the despair of the fact that: "Mingyu won't marry meeeeeee" </3".
To be honest, the two of you just thought it was kind of cute how the fans was reaction and Mingyu just posted a picture of him pouting with the caption:
'Sorry Carat, she stole my heart before I even knew it </3'
Which… let's just say that it didn't exactly calm down the situation. (But ofc that attention-seeker loved it)
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Vernon: Yeah, no the two of you didn't really do an announcement to be honest. You guys just calmly brought it up in conversations when you met the people, and everyone was excited for you, no one were really surprised but it didn't make them any less happy. But it was actually an accident found out by the fan that made the whole thing public.
The two of you had not necessarily been keeping it a secret but you hadn't really felt the need to post it on social media, but it happened when the two of you were away on a weekend trip. You had been taking pictures and videos, and had of course been posting online. By this point you'd gotten so used to the weight of the ring on your finger that both you and Vernon just forgot about it when you posted a picture of the two of you. It was a sweet picture where you were squishing Vernon's face with your hand and basically showing off your ring for the world to see.
It only took about… five minutes before the rumor were all over the internet "SEVENTEEN's Vernon engaged with long-term girlfriend, the runway model y/n"
After a quick call with PLEDIS they posted an announcement confirming the rumors, and you and Vernon posted a short explanation online. The reactions weren't that big, people was happy for you and writing that you two would have beautiful babies. You didn't really pay that much attention to what the public was saying because, let's be honest: you knew that mostly people were just teasing Vernon and getting ready to make wedding memes.
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Masterlist
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Taglist:@foxdaisy @pearlygraysky @cixrosie @thmrdrs
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writing-blog-iguess · 10 months
Text
Online Matchup 3
Summery: Y/N just wanted to study and head home for some sleep, to bad the night in Gotham has different plans. Now all they want to do is see the one person who's been on their mind since they started talking. Question is, will Jason agree?
Warning: swearing, fluff, it gets a little angsty, comfort, a sprinkle of gun violence, a mugging.
A/N: I got it done by Friday. I did not think I could do it, but I did. I’m not sure part 4 will be up, but I will be taking the next week to try and finish other projects. If there’s anything you’d like to, let me know. Uh, this ended up being over 6k works, I hope you enjoy! Feedback is welcome.
Words: 6574
ao3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5
————
October 7
Y/N (7:30 am) Why is it so cold?
Jason Because it’s october
Y/N October just started! It should be illegal for October to be so cold so soon
Jason You’re the one who wanted to live in Gotham
Y/N I know But still
Jason: You lived in Gotham for how many years?
Y/n … Three
Jason: And you're still not used to the cold? and to think you chose Gotham 
Y/n Shut up
Jason All because Gotham and I quote ~intrigues~ you
Y/n Shouldn’t you be at work?
Jason Shouldn’t you be in class?
Y/n I’m on my way there Why’d you think I’m complaining about the cold?
Jason Could have fooled me Maybe your heater broke in your apartment and it’s freezing
Y/n I would cry if that happened
Jason Don’t like the cold?
Y/n I don’t like getting sick
Jason Touché
Y/n But I also hate the cold
Jason It’s sweater weather
Y/n Still cold
Jason Fall is not cold Winters cold Fall is the perfect season It’s not too cold not to hot Perfect
Y/n Maybe for cuddling under the blanket and read
Jason That an invitation?
Y/n Wouldn’t you like to know
Jason Awe come on, little bird don’t shy on me now It’s been what? Three weeks?
Y/n Yeah But, uh I’m a little nervous It’s been a while since I’ve been on a date or something 
Jason Ah I get that Honestly me too We can wait a bit longer and when we do meet up it’ll been in a public place
Y/n The confidence you have that we will be meeting is showing
Jason What can I say? I’m falling and I can’t get up
Y/n Oh my god You ruined the moment
Jason ‘Twas the plan
Y/n You dork
Jason No but really I really did fall and now my ass hurts
Y/n What do you want me to do about it?
Jason Come kiss it better
Y/n In your dreams
Jason Every night
Y/n I hope you step on a Lego
Jason First my ass and now my heart? Y/n you wound me
Y/n Sure, we’ll pretend your not into it
Jason I- Okay wow
Y/n Am I wrong
Jason I plead the fifth 
Y/n Mm thought so
Jason Shouldn’t you be in class?
Y/N Yup, just waiting for the professor 
Jason Is it true that if the teacher isn’t there after a certain period of time that there’s no class?
Y/n Some people think it is but no They always end up coming to class Unless there’s an attack of the school or something
Jason Does that happen a lot?
Y/n Like maybe every few months Don’t quote me on that, I barely pay attention
Jason I think that’s something you sure pay attention too
Y/n I did when I first moved here and now I just roll with the punches
Jason I really hope not
Y/n Like my guard is up when I’m out but other than that I guess, I don’t care?
Jason That’s even worse
Y/n That’s what my mom said too Oh look, the teach is here
Jason I'm more worried about you then I have worried about someone in my life
Y/n (12:20 pm) Hey You keep up with the news right?
Jason When I have time Why?
Y/n Have you heard anything about college students going missing?
Jason No I don’t think I have
Y/n Mm, not surprised I guess Apparently it’s a recent thing
Jason How recent?
Y/N Um, like a few days ago?
Jason And the cops haven’t done anything about this?
Y/N Nope Said they probably dropped out Some tried to report them as missing But they haven’t looked into it much
Jason How do you know this?
Y/n Rumors mostly Guess that’s why the cops won’t do anything But I don’t think they’re rumors I know some of the students that are missing Most are on the top of their classes Some are scholarship students, they wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize it
Jason Damn My brother’s a cop, I could get him to look into it?
Y/n You’re brothers a cop in Bludhaven What do you think he can do in Gotham?
Jason How do you know that?
Y/N Jason, we’ve been talking for awhile And sometimes when you complain about your brothers, you let information slip past. Not that I mind, everything you tell me I keep to myself But you need to pay more attention to what you’re talking about
Jason Right, sorry I forgot about that
Y/N Have you been sleeping lately?
Jason …no
Y/n Everything okay? Er, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to it’s fine
Jason No it’s okay I want to tell you I just don’t know where to start
Y/n Start wherever, and how much you want to tell me I don’t need the whole picture 
Jason I guess I’ve been having nightmares lately 
Y/n About when you died? Allegedly 
Jason … Don’t know if I should be impressed that that’s where your mind jumps to or not
Y/n It’s a gift
Jason But yeah, that’s what they’re about Someone found me after, and took me in and raised me for a couple of years And then coming going back home It’s a lot I guess Sometimes I feel like I’m broken
Y/n I bet I’m not going to pretend that I know how you feel and I’m not sure what exactly what I can say And I don’t want to invalid your feels, you’re allowed to feel how you feel But you’re not broken, not completely anyways Maybe a little bruised and banged up And like any bruise, they heal with time Sometimes with help sometimes without All depends on if you want it or not
Jason Are you sure you’re not a shrink or something?
Y/N Pretty positive It’s something my mom told me sometimes
Jason Wise women
Y/n You have no idea So, if you ever want to talk, chances are that I’ll be awake at any time
Jason Thank you And as for what Dick could do? Not a whole lot, but he does have friends in the gcpd though
Y/n You think he can do that?
Jason Yeah, he owes me
Y/N He’s your brother Does he have to owe you?
Jason Our relationship is a bit complicated
Y/N You’ve mentioned But if he can do something, that puts my mind at ease a little I’m worried and maybe a little scared
Jason As you should Just be careful okay?
Y/n I will do my best
Y/n (11:30pm) So… Have you heard anything from your brother?
Jason Smooth It hasn’t even been a day
Y/n That’s me The ruler of smooth A lot can happen between now and when you talked to your brother about it
Jason All true you dork And yeah I have Turns out they aren’t just rumours He went to check out the students dorms are they left everything there Usually when someone leaves they bring some clothes and stuff with them right
Y/n Yeah, unless they were in a hurried and couldn’t care less then they would pack important stuff
Jason Yeah but they left everything there Phones, wallets, keys I’m not sure what the connection is and all that But the cops are working hard
Y/n Mm okay At least some things being done about it
Jason Mm
Y/n No sleep tonight?
Jason Not yet Helping my brother with something
Y/n You know, for someone who has a complicated relationship with one’s family You sure do help them a lot 
Jason What can I say? I’m a family man
Y/N Is this your way of saying you love your family?
Jason So how’s your dad doing?
Y/N I cannot believe you pulled the same move I used on you, on me This is a disgrace Unacceptable
Jason I’m just using when you taught me
Y/N I didn’t teach you shit
Jason Well it worked, didn’t it?
Y/n Unbelievable 
Jason Answer the question 
Y/n Okay I guess Tired mostly Says he’s trying to keep busy but my mom tells me he gets tired easily There’s no win win
Jason I’m sorry
Y/n Yup
Jason Still repressing your emotions?
Y/N You know it
Jason I’m here if you want to talk
Y/N Thanks Jason That means a lot
Jason Shouldn’t you be sleeping?
Y/N Yes But I’m currently doing a project that’s due tomorrow
Jason Ouch
Y/N Did you know that the library I’m at is open this late?
Jason Why?
Y/N College students needs books
Jason Yes But you can take them out and bring them home
Y/N I left my library card at home so now I’m stuck here with the book I need until I’m done
Jason See, I want to feel sorry for you But something’s holding me back
Y/N I can see the compassion from here Anyways I should go home soon
My phone’s about to die and I don’t have my charger either, you typed out and before you could hit send, you were met with your reflection on a black screen. “No,” you whined, slumping back into your chair. “It’s fine. I’ll just use my laptop, it should work.” 
Sitting up straight, you reached over to wake your computer up, you were met with the same fate as your phone. “No, nonono,” you muttered, frantically searching your backpack for your laptop charger. When you couldn’t find it, you dumped everything on the table, hoping you were just blind. But it wasn’t there.
You groaned when you came to the realization that luck wasn’t on your side tonight. 
Sighing in defeat, you made a note of the books you were using and the pages before cleaning up the table. As you stuffed your backpack with your things, you took a quick glance at the clock on the wall and cursed. If you don't hurry now, you’ll be late for the last train for the night.
If there’s one thing you hated most about Gotham, it was walking home really late at night. And the last you wanted to do was that, also you didn’t want to make Jason worry.
With the rest of your stuff hazardously stuffed into the backpack, you raced out of the library hoping to make the last train.
Jason You good? Home yet? Is everything okay? Hellooo? What happened? Are you safe?
Nothing. There was no response and when Jason tried to call you, it went straight to voicemail. No matter how many times he called, it always yielded the same result.
Jason is not worried. He knows you're busy with your project. Maybe you misplaced your phone while talking to someone. Or you’re already on your way home and need to concentrate on getting home. He vaguely recalls you saying you take the train to and from school.
Lighting up his phone to check the time, he nodded to himself. Yeah, that was it. You were just busy and on your way home. Jason’s not worried, he’s not.
“You okay there Jay?” Dick asked in concern, “you look a little worried there.”
Okay, so maybe he’s a little worried and maybe a little scared of what could potentially happen. In Gotham…At night.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jason lied, trying to push images of you hurt away. It didn’t help that there was this group out there kidnapping college students. For what, who knows. Jason only hoped that you didn’t get mixed up in it. 
Dick leaned in front of him and poked Jason’s forehead. “Are you sure? Your brow is pinched like you ate something sour,” he commented and Jason pushed him away with a scowl.
“Maybe he’s worried about his new friend,” Tim sang from the Bat computer. “It’s awfully late for a college student to be out in Gotham.”
Jason whipped his head around so fast, he was surprised he didn’t get whiplash. “How the fuck do you know?! I haven’t told you shit.”
“I’m a detective, Jason, I detect,” Tim pointily said, pressing buttons on the keyboard before a file with pictures of you showed on the screen. “Gotta say, they are kinda cute.”
“Why are you spying on them?” Jason asked, trying to keep his voice even. He was pissed he couldn’t have something in his life to himself. But his nosey siblings had to meddle in his life, love life too. It's like they have no life outside of fighting crime.
“I was bored,” he replied as Dick made his way over to the computer. No doubt curious on what Tim found.
“Don’t you have cases to solve?”
Tim shrugged, clicking through photos of you, which only served to piss Jason off even more. Why is it that he wanted to slowly get to learn more about you, that his brothers decided to do a deep dive without his permission? Times like these made him wish he stayed dead. “Your love life is more interesting at the moment.”
“Well, you can fuck off then,” he said, grabbing his Red Hood helmet from the nearby table and put it on.
“Where are you going?” Dick called over the roar of Jason’s motorcycle.
“Anywhere that’s not here,” he answered and sped off.
He had meant to drive aimlessly, but soon he found his way towards the library you were currently studying in.
He couldn’t get the images of you hurt out of his mind, and he convinced himself that it was fine to make sure you were okay. Otherwise, he’d be drowning in worry.
As he drove, he heard a cry for help. He almost dismissed it, thinking that someone who was on patrol would help them. But with his bike in idle, he heard it. Granted, the last time he heard your voice, you were all nasally with a hoarse voice from a sore throat. But he recognized you’re voice anywhere.
Parking his bike, he unholstered his gun and slowly made his way to the alley that your voice came from. Peeking his head around the corner, he saw you fighting with someone over your backpack. You held your own for a while, and Jason could only wait until there was an opening.
Was there a little part of him that wanted to see you fight? Maybe. but he doesn’t want to think about that now.
“Let go you asshole,” you grunted, pulling your backpack hard enough that the mugger tripped forward. Which gave you the time to kick him in the balls, hard. Jason winced at the impact and the mugger staggered backwards with a groan and you successfully gained back your bag. “Ha!”
“You bitch!” he yelled and lunged towards you. But before either of you could do anything, Jason surged forward and shot him in the leg. The both of you screamed, you at the sudden noise and the mugger at the pain. Without looking to see who was there, you ducked behind a dumpster, out of harms way.
Clever Little Bird, Jason thought as he stalked towards his prey. “Your mom ever teach you manners?” Jason asked. The mugger shook his head and begged Jason not to kill him. Jason was tempted too, but an annoying voice in the back of his mind, who sounded suspiciously like Bruce, whispered, don’t kill.
“Nah, I’m not gonna kill ya,” he grumbled and waved him away with his gun. “But if I see ya again, I ain’t making any promises.” He took it as it was, and limped away as fast as he could. Jason watched as he disappeared before holstering his gun and turned around towards you with a frown. You were curled in on yourself, hugging your bag tight.
“Hey,” he said softly, reaching out to tap you on your shoulders. With no warning, you quickly spun around and hit him with your bag. He winced as it collided with his chest, surprising him.
“Oh my god!” you exclaimed once you realized who he was. You dropped your arms from the next attack Jason had no doubt would have followed through. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize it was you.”
“What are you packing in there?” he grunted as he rubbed his chest, “fucking bricks?”
“Textbooks,” you answered sheepishly, hugging your backpack to your chest. “I’m really sorry I thought you were someone else.”
“No worries, I ain’t mad,” he said with a smile. Though you couldn’t see it given the helmet. “Hellva reflex though. Not many would fight back.”
You shrugged, tightening your grip on the backpack. The adrenaline must be wearing off, Jason noted. You were starting to shake. “What can I say? My flight or fight kicked in and there was nowhere to run.”
“Still,” he said, taking the moment to study you, and wishing he had shot the punk when he clocked the bruise forming under your eye. Other than that, there was nothing of note to worry about. Physically at least. Emotionally, he had no idea where your mind was at. “Are you doing okay?”
“Uh maybe?” you said, unsure yourself. You took a deep breath to calm yourself but it came out shakily. “I don’t know. I will be, once I’m home though.”
“Need a lift?” Jason offered, catching you by surprise.  You lifted your head to look at him, eyes narrowed. As if you were trying to see under the helmet. He stood there and waited. Eventually, you shook your head. Disappointment filtered through Jason but he pushed it down.
“Thanks, but I’m just down the street. Don’t think anything else can happen between here and there,” you said and Jason’s heart leaped at all the possibilities of what could happen.
“You’re gonna jinx yourself if you keep saying stuff like that,” he pointed out. You only shrugged and gave him a smile that made his heart skip a beat.
“I’m sure an angel is looking out for me,” you said, getting enough courage to pat him on the chest as you walked past him. “Be seeing ya, Red.”
Jason stood there for a moment and shook his head with a smile. You sure were something else. Though it was a short distance to your place, it didn’t stop Red Hood from following you until you made it to your apartment. Even then, he stayed on the roof adjacent to your building, waiting for your message saying you were okay.
You stood in front of your apartment door, keys in hand and frowned. With the adrenaline completely out of your system, and finally being alone, your mind raced with the events that transpired over the last couple of hours.
You had managed to make the last train and the journey was uneventful. It wasn’t until the walk home that your luck turned bad.
You were so focused on getting home that you didn’t notice the guy following you until he grabbed your backpack. You fought, Red Hood showered up surprising you and talked before going home.
You blinked at the memory. If you weren’t so in your head, you’d be giddy that you actually talked to Red Hood. You talked to Red Hood. What the fuck? You’re not even sure if you flirted with him near the end or not. But you were still processing everything.
You shook your head, trying to get out of it. You didn’t want to go inside. Going inside meant being alone, alone with your thoughts and that’s the last thing you wanted.
What you wanted was company, what you wanted was someone you haven’t even met yet, yet you knew you’d feel better after seeing him. You wondered if you called Jason, if he would pick up and ask to meet up. It couldn’t hurt to try.
With a half-baked plan, you finally unlocked the door. The first thing you do is plug in your phone, the second is to shower.
You wanted it to be quick, the faster you're done the faster you can leave the apartment. But you’re not sure what happened between grabbing your clothes and now. You just know that when you come to, your hair is wet and dressed in your comfortable clothes, and you find yourself standing in front of the mirror.
You feel better, if only a little.  You wince at the bruise and you could cover it up, but you’re tired and you don’t want to stay here any longer than you already have. Instead, you bushed your hair and leave the bathroom.
With your phone half charged, you grab it and your keys and wallet before leaving the apartment. As you walk towards the elevator, you open up your phone to see a few missed calls from your sister and Jason, and some texts from Jason asking if you’re okay. You made a note to call your sister in the morning and tried to ignore the guilt at seeing the messages from Jason. You pressed the button for the elevator, your thumb hovering over Jason’s name.
Maybe calling him will be a mistake, Despair whispered in your ear.
Or, maybe it’ll be the best thing in the world and you won’t regret it, Desire countered. And hope bloomed a little in your chest. With that, you pressed the call button without much thought and brought the phone to your ear.
One ring, you step in the elevator as you begin to second guess yourself that this was a bad idea. Second ring, you press the button for the lobby, starting to panic. Maybe he won’t pick up. Half of you hoped. By the third ring, you're off the elevator and almost hung up when the call connects.
“Little Bird?” Jason answered, and the grip on the phone tightened. You really didn’t think he’d pick up, and he doesn’t sound tired. For how late it is, anyways. If anything, he sounds awake, like he was waiting for something.
Guilt rears back into your stomach again when you realize he was waiting for you. Tears start to pool in the corner of your eyes, and you blink them away. You didn’t want to cry, that was for later, when you're curled up in a ball in bed. Waiting for sleep that you know will never come.
“Hey, you still there?” Jason asked, voice soft as if he knew that’s what you needed right now. Your heart warms at the person you’re slowly falling for. You clear your throat and hope your voice sounds normal when you answer.
“Hi,” your answer is a whisper, and you find yourself you don’t care.
“Hi,” he greeted back and you could hear the smile in his voice. “I’m surprised you're still awake. Figured you’d be in bed by now.”
"Yeah, me too. But I’m too wired to sleep,” you said, forcing your feet to move. You start walking out of the building and towards your favourite café that’s near your place. “Surprised you’re awake too. Still helping your brother?”
You’re so engrossed with your conversation, that you don’t feel eyes on you as you walk. And Jason hoped to keep it that way. “Nah, doing my own thing before going to bed. Surprised you called though. Usually, you shoot me a message.”
You stall for a moment, almost tripping on your feet, before walking again. “Er, yeah. Sorry I just…I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to say sorry. I don’t mind talking either. Besides, you've voice is music to my ears," Jason said, and you try not the blush with how casual he says things like that. "So, what’s up?”
You’re quiet for a second, chewing on your lip before blurting out the question, “do you want to meet up?”
You’re met with and you close your eyes at your stupidity. “Sorry,” you started, “that was stupid. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I get it. It’s fine. Plus, it’s super late, like two in the morning late. And we should be sleeping but the thought of being alone right now scares me. And I don’t want to be alone and I just really need some company. And I thought why not Jason? I wanted to meet him for awhile and I’ve now realized it was bad timing and-”
“Are you sure?” Jason interrupted your rambling and you couldn’t be more thankful. You were positive you would big yourself in a hole you couldn’t get out of if you kept talking.
“Sure about what?” you asked dumbly, as if you forgot what you had just asked him. You’ve reached the café and stood in front of the door, peering in.
“That you want to meet up,” Jason said with a chuckle.
“Oh, uh yeah, I am sure,” you said with a nod. “I mean if that’s okay with you?”
“Sure is,” he said, “can I ask what brought this on?”
You're silent for a moment, debating whether to answer him or wait until he’s here to say. But you think of the bruise under your eye and you think it’s better to tell him now. “I, um, almost got mugged on my way home. He didn’t get my stuff, but he did clock me in the face. Could be worse though, but I don’t want to be alone right now.”
“Shit,” he breathed out, “are you okay?”
“Sorry,” you mumbled to the couple coming out of the café and stepped aside to let them go. You shrug even though he couldn’t see you. “Like I said, it could be worse.”
“Don’t. Don’t downplay what happened to you,” Jason said softly, “anyone would be shaken up after a mugging. You’re allowed to not be okay, sweetheart.”
The simple sentence is what breaks you, and you start letting the tears fall down your cheeks. “Damnit,” you mumbled, wiping your eyes with the sleeve of your sweater. “Have me crying in public Jason, not cool.”
“Sorry sweetie. Where are you? I’ll get there as soon as I can.” You rattle where you are and you can feel Jason’s smile through the phone. “I know the place. Order me a hot chocolate and I’ll be there in twenty.”
“Try not to break any laws now, Jason,” you muttered, though you smile all the same. Knowing you’ll meet Jason soon has you in better spirits since the incident happened.
“No promises.” With that, you hang up and walk into the building. You tell the barista your fine when she asks about the bruise and order your usual and Jason’s drink with a cake and find an empty table. You find yourself in the corner by a window, making your way over and you set your order down and sit facing the door.
You’re scrolling through your phone while you wait, trying to keep yourself distracted. And it helped with Jason texting you updates on what’s happening. You find it endearing, and a little silly, but it keeps you from spiraling and you're thankful.
Before you know it, you hear a roar of a motorcycle driving past, and you look up just in time to see them part in front of the building. You watch as they turn off the bike and climb off before taking the helmet off.
Breath escapes you as you recognize who it is, and pictures didn’t do Jason justice. Jason’s pretty, and you like the little white strip he has in his hair. It suits him, somehow.
Lifting your phone, you take a picture of him fluffing out his hair and type out a message saying you see him before sending it to him. You watch as he takes out his phone, frowning a little at the message. He whipped his head up and scanned the building until his eyes landed on you. All you can do is wave, and your heart almost leaps out of your chest at the smile he gives you.
It's brighter than you imagined and you're okay with it. Your eyes follow him as he makes his way inside. You stand when he makes his way towards you and you smile as he stands in front of you.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
There’s a moment of silence between the two of you before you start to laugh. Not a full belly laugh, just a light chuckle as if someone told you a joke. You’re not sure why you find the whole thing funny, but you do. Maybe you're too tired to fully process it completely.
“Are you okay?” Jason asked, a little worried. He took a step forward, arms moving to give you a hug, but stopped himself. Worried that you wouldn’t appreciate the gesture, scared that you might reject his touch. Your heart warms at the hesitation and you make the decision for him. Stepping forward, you wrap your arms around him and practically met into his chest.
After a moment of hesitation, Jason wraps his arms around you, hugging you tight. It's one of the best hugs you’ve ever had, and you can't seem to remember the last time someone hugged you that wasn’t family.
“I am now,” you whispered, blinking away more tears. “Sorry if this first meeting isn’t exactly to your expectations.”
“Nah, I wouldn’t change this for the world,” he said, leaning back a little. Snaking one hand to your chin, he gently lifted your face to look at you. He hissed a little at the bruising and you can’t seem to find yourself to be embarrassed about. Not with the look Jason’s giving you, like you’re the only person who matters to him.
“That’s good,” you mumbled, blushing a little with the attention he was giving you. You pull away a little, only to pull him to sit down. Your feet started to hurt and you needed to let them rest. Sitting across from him, you wrap your hands around your cup and let the heat seep into them. “You know, I almost didn’t call. Was too afraid you’d say no or something.”
Jason leaned over a bit and took off his jacket and you tried to not openly stare at his arms.
“Don’t think I could say no to you,” Jason said, taking a sip from his drink as you averted your gaze to his face. “But I’m glad you called, I was trying to work up the nerve to ask you to a coffee date or something. Something always stopped me though.”
“Well, we’re here now,” you pointed out, leaning over the table with a smile. “Nothing we can do but move forward.”
“Wise words coming from a lady who thought I was asking for a booty call,” Jason said with a smirk. You gasped at the reminder, and reached over to pull the plate of cake you had bought to share with him.
“You know, just for that, I’m not sharing this with you,” you said, and moved the plate closer when Jason moved to grab it.
“Now that’s not fair, Little Bird. It’s been a tough night dealing with my brothers all night, I need a little pick me up,” he said, trying to grab the plate from you again. You moved it just before he could grab it, and stuck your nose in the air.
“Guess you should have thought about that before insulting me, good sir.” Jason snorted, mock surrendering. You giggled and moved the plate back to the middle. “How was your night? Anything interesting happen?”
“Nah, not really. Turned out he didn’t really need my help, just said that to rope me in for family supper,” Jason answered, picking up the fork and stabbing a piece of cake before eating it.
“If you’re gonna be mean to the cake, I won’t share,” you threatened, trying not to smile when he gave you a look. “Family dinner huh? Can’t be all that bad.”
“It’s not,” Jason hummed, “I get to eat Alfred’s cooking and there are some siblings I don’t mind hanging out with. It can be too much sometimes, you know? Like they lived their lives while I was somewhere out there being raised by different people, you know?”
“Mm not really but I can imagine,” you said, smiling when he snorted. “But they’re trying, that’s all you can ask for. Question is though, are you trying?”
Jason shifted as you stared at him with raised eyebrows. “What is this? An interrogation?”
“Can be if you want it to be,” you quipped back. Following his lead as he leaned forward.
“If anyone’s gonna do the questioning, it’s gonna be me.”
“You think so?”
“I know so, Little Bird.”
The two of you stare at each other, waiting to see who cracks first at the challenge. You blink and you know you’ve lost. “Yeah okay. But you didn’t answer my question,” you reminded him, leaning back.
“Yeah I’m trying, just hard,” he answered and he took a moment to study you. “Are you doing okay? Not to be rude, but you look exhausted.”
You snort and rub your eyes only to wince when you touch the bruise. “I don’t know. I haven’t really had time to process everything properly.”
“How’d you mean?”
“Like I didn’t sit down and cry about it yet. When I got home all I wanted to do was leave. But I forced myself to shower but I think I blacked out or something, I don’t know. I don’t remember it. After that, I left my apartment as fast as I could and called you.”
“Which I’m glad you did, but now you have to take a moment and let it sink in. You can take it now, let yourself not be okay, I won’t judge. Hell, I’m probably the last person to judge.”
You gave him a sad smile and slowly slumping down into your seat, trying to hide from the mostly empty café. As if sensing what you’re trying to do, Jason gets up and moves to sit beside you, angling his body so you’re hidden from view.
A wave of fondness washes over you, and you think he can’t surprise you anymore then he already has. Taking a deep breath, you slowly let it out and close your eyes. Listening to Jason and let yourself not be okay.
The night plays like a movie behind your eyelids and you fight to keep it playing. You  feel all the emotions that you managed to push away hit you like a truck, making you tear up. You cover your eyes with your arm and feel movement from beside you.
But you're too embarrassed to look, so you wait until Jason’s right beside you.
“I’m going to hug you okay?” You hear Jason whisper close to your ear. You nod and almost flinch when his arms snake around your waist, but you don’t. This touch is warm, caring. The complete opposite of the mugger. You feel safe for the first time that night.
You relaxed in Jason’s embrace and balled your firsts in his shirt as you cried. He sat there, rubbing your side, whispering that you’re okay, that it will be okay, and waited until you were done. 
You sniffle when the sob has subsided but you don’t let go just yet. You’re exhausted, embarrassed that you ended up crying on Jason, and you're not yet ready to face him.
“You’re okay,” Jason murmured, squeezing you reassuringly. You only nod, moving slightly to wipe your nose with your sleeve. But as you move to do that, there’s a napkin in front of you.
“Thanks,” you muttered, taking it and blowing your nose.
“Feeling better?” Jason asked, moving slightly but he kept you in his hold. And you're grateful for it. His touch was something you could get used to.
“Yeah, much. I think I could sleep forever,” you joked, leaning into him you felt his chuckle more then heard it.
“Please don’t, I enjoy your company,” he said and you smiled. “I hope you feel the same.”
“I do,” you hummed, “I’m sorry for crying all over you. I think I got your shirt all wet and snotty.”
“Nothing to be sorry for. It was something you needed and I’ll gladly be your shoulder to cry on.”
Silence settled between you, and you closed your eyes feeling the need to sleep. The two of you stayed like that until Jason could feel your body relax into sleeping.
“Come on, I think it’s time for you to go home,” Jason stated, shaking you a little to keep you awake.
“Noooo,” you whined, pouting as you sat up slowly. “But I’m having a great time.”
“You need sleep,” Jason pointed out, collecting your garbage and standing to throw it out. When he came back, he put on his jacket and smirked as you stared. “We can always hang out another time. Maybe next time it won’t happen at three in the morning.”
“Promise?”
“Promise,” he answered, holding out his hand. You blinked at it before grabbing it and he helped you up. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.”
“You don’t have to have,” you said, quick to shake your head.
“Please? For my peace of mind,” Jason said as he walked the both of you out. “Plus it prolongs the time I get to spend time with you.”
Opening your mouth to argue, you stop yourself and feel the blush creeping into your cheeks. “Fine,” you agreed begrudgingly, though glad for the company.
The walk was short, you spent the time talking about anything that came to mind. And before you knew it you were standing in front of your door. Jason had insisted on walking you up, to make sure you didn’t trip on anything. He had claimed and you didn’t seem to mind.
You have thought about inviting him in, but sleep was calling you and you didn’t want to seem too eager.
“So this is me,” you said awkwardly, unsure how to say goodnight.
“I had a good time,” he said, smiling. You squinted up at him, only now realizing how tall he was. 
“I ended up crying.”
“You had a bad night, you deserved to cry after what happened to you,” he countered. “Like I said, I’m the last person to judge.” 
“I’m going to get that story one day,” you challenged, and he leaned down a little, smirking. Cocky bastard.
“I’m looking forward to it,” he said, and you gently punched him in the chest with a laugh.
“Text me when you get home?”
“Awe, you worried about me,” he teased. You rolled your eyes as you took your keys out and unlocked the door.
“I can unworry about you,” you said, swinging the door open. Before going in, you turned and gave him a hug, squeezing tight. “Thanks, for you know.”
Jason returned the hug and buried his nose in your hair. “Anytime. Glad you're feeling better.”
You stay like that for a moment before Jason lets you go. He cupped your cheeks and for a brief moment, you thought he might kiss you.
“Night Little Bird, see you soon.”
With that, he turned and walked down the hallway, leaving you feeling warm inside.
Walking in, you unlocked the door and immediately plopped into your bed, letting your body relax. Sleep pulled at you but you were determined to stay awake until Jason texted.
But sleep was just as determined and stronger, you fell asleep just as your phone chimed.
Jason I’m home
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daisyychainssj · 4 months
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I’m seeing a lot of people talk about the whole Team Bolas thing with very different opinions and like that’s fine as long as you’re being respectful! share your opinions all you want but I think it’s being turned into more of an issue than it actually is? Like yeah when creators who are going into Purgatory 2 are talking about the previous purgatory a lot of their chats recommend watching bolas clips etc but people seem to be ignoring that a lot of the ccs either know they won or ask which team won and THEN proceed to watch their pov. Loads of the new ccs are doing so because they want to see what the winning team did to win (which I do think probably isn’t going to help them a lot as there’s so many difference between both events I feel like the only useful things they’ll learn is to drink tea and what to do for the natural disasters but even so) and even when watching bolas compilations or povs they’re praising blue and green team plays.
Another thing people are upset with is the lack of animatics and things being watched for blue and green team. It’s sad to say but there just genuinely isn’t many out there compared to the amount that there is for red team so creators are inevitably going to end up watching more of red team but how is that anyone’s fault? Why be upset about people creating artwork of something THEY personally enjoyed? It wasn’t done out of hate towards the other teams like some people seem to want to imply? At that point you’re just beefing with artists because they decided to draw/animate something else than what you wanted to see? Everyone is free to create the artwork they want to see. Nobody is stopping anyone from creating fan work for the other teams and recommending it to the new ccs participating in Purgatory 2.
Something that I’m seeing a lot which is starting to irritate me is seeing people be like “NOBODY is watching anything to do with Blue or Green team” No, the bigger creators who pull more viewers or the creators that YOU personally watch might not be but plenty of the smaller creators have been looking into all of the teams. Seapeekay (who’s said himself that he’s a bit nervous about the fact he is going to be one of the less well known creators in the event) is literally right now as a type this watching the flag event from Tubbo’s pov (again because they won that event!!! It makes sense to watch the winner POVs when you’re trying to prepare for a competition) so maybe let’s not pretend that nobody out of the 40+ people involved are paying any attention to any team other than bolas when that is incorrect.
I watched as much as I could of all the teams (yes I watched more of bolas because foolish is my main pov) but all of the teams worked hard and tried their best and were fun to watch! You’re free to create any artwork you want of any team and if you didn’t enjoy watching red team and you don’t want to watch other creators watch them then just chill on a different stream in the meantime until they watch or do something you do want to see and when Purgatory 2 begins I’m sure some other type of discourse will inevitably begin and we can all just put this shit to rest.
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noah-liketheboat · 1 year
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I’ve recently begun using a wheelchair. Here’s the scoop.
I also started using forearm crutches even more recently but we’ll get to that in a second post bc this one got too long
I got my chair for $325 on OfferUp. It’s a motion composites Helio A6, and it has some fancy cushions on it. All in all I got it like 88% off of original price and it’s in pristine condition. Well, it was, until I brought it home and within 24 hours my cat scratched the (pink!!) paint job and put holes in the cushions. Thanks Misty. It now lives in the back of the car for its protection.
I put a clip-on cup holder on it and purple/white spoke covers. It’s pretty sick.
I use my wheelchair instead of walking/standing probably 30-40% of the time.
Personally
Oh my god it’s helped so much. I have so much more energy. I don’t flinch when I stand or walk. I can wait in line for food. I’m not dizzy, embarrassingly sweaty, and spacey just from standing in line anymore.
Because the previous owner spent literally $1,000 on special cushions (seat and back), I have the comfiest seat in any room 96% of the time. 10/10 would recommend. It helps with the back pain too obvi but first and foremost it’s so comfy.
I can go to the zoo. I get into the zoo for free because college but I can’t ever go because I can’t tolerate walking and standing for so long. But now I can go to the zoo!
I have more energy at the end of the day to participate in household chores and life. Before this, all my time was spent either in school or trying to recover enough to go to school again. Even doing my homework was difficult because of the fatigue, let alone date nights, hobbies, cooking dinner, sweeping the floors… it caused a lot of tension between me and my partner as well as my general being miserable.
Very steep learning curve. Very steep strength curve.
The ramp to my math class isn’t a steep grade but it’s long. When I started using it, I had to wheel up backwards. I got out of breath very easily and my shoulders were always aching something awful after going between classes. Now that hill is quite manageable and I only have sore shoulders if I’m going really fast or really far.
Wheelies. An unexpected but important skill. One that I am not good at. It took me weeks to get my wheels off the ground at all, but once I did I had a huge improvement and quickly was able to get my wheels ~6 or 8 inches off the ground. I still can’t sustain it though. I use them to go over bumps and get started up awkward ramps sometimes.
It’s been an amazing improvement to my life. I’m more independent, in less pain, happier, and more energetic. I should’ve done it earlier.
Observations:
People are weird. They talk to me more. Like, strangers ask me how my day is going in the elevator, people make small talk when they hold the door. This isn’t necessarily negative, but it is weird.
Kids stare. Adults also stare but they try to hide it. I don’t mind when kids stare though. They’re just curious and unaware.
I’m always a little nervous to ever stand up or walk out in public in case someone either thinks it’s a miracle and starts praising the lord or like hate-crimes me for “faking.”
When I wheeled in to all my classes after spring break, my teachers and seat mates were all instantly “oh my god what happened are you ok???” It’s a little awkward to explain that it’s just nerve damage that’s been getting worse.
People usually say “I’m so sorry” or “I hope you get/feel better soon!” And it’s like. I know their intentions are good, of course, but I don’t want people to be sorry! This has been an amazing life change for me! Also I’m not getting better, certainly not any time soon, and conversation gets awkward after that.
I think when I tell people it’s not really a “get better” thing, I think they at least subconsciously think it’s terminal or something?? Like. I’m not dying of nerve damage. I had nerve damage before spring break too. It’s just I finally decided to do something besides suck it up and hope I can make it through the day.
My campus is not as accessible as I once thought. The main culprit? UNLEVEL SIDEWALKS. They are the bane of my existence. My right arm will be pumping like my life depends on it and my left will be almost doing nothing. And then later when I’m doing the other way it’ll be the opposite.
There’s no ramp on the other side of one of the buildings I walk through to get to class. That was awkward.
There’s also a lot of cobblestone-type walking areas. Not only are they hella bumpy to wheel on, but they’re old and not well maintained. The cracks between slabs and the potholes can and will eject me from my chair if I’m not careful.
Funny story #1:
I rolled into the disability center on campus to take a test, as per usual (extended time and testing environment accommodations) and they had me wait while they got everyone else seated, which was weird, and then the testing coordinator came over to me and sat down next to me and was like “heyy how are you?” And I was like “I’m good, I’m good! Ah, well—*gestures to chair* yknow.” And she goes “Yeahh of course… so is this… new?”
Is it new??? Ma’am you see me every three weeks on the dot for tests, and every time for the past two years I’ve walked in on my own two feet, and today I come rolling in as I’ve transgendered into a vehicle. Yeah it’s new!!
Don’t worry I didn’t say that. I said “yeah, well, kind of. The chair is new, but the reasons aren’t. It’s just helping me a lot and my life is easier with it.” or smthn like that and she was like “oh ok good cool great”
Anyways, she just needed to tell me essentially that she would have me take my test at a height-adjustable table. Same room, same everything. Just instead of sitting in a test cubby I’d be at what’s essentially one of those standing desks. I was all nervous just for her to sit me at a table I can crank up and down like an old car window.
Funny Story #2
I’m rolling across the courtyard(??) in front of the library where they were having one of those random college of business things with tents everywhere. You’re aware. Just trying to get to class.
I hear “Hey! Excuse me, hey!” from behind me and I turn my head to see a girl frantically waving me down running across the grass. Naturally I’m intrigued.
She gets to me, a little out of breath, and then goes “Would you be interested in playing tennis?”
I look down at my chair. I look back up at her. “Ah… no…”
She was talking about adaptive tennis. Which I could’ve guessed probably but I was caught so off-guard and I was real confused.
She invited me to join the adaptive sports program/club thing, which is headed by a disabled professor but run entirely by able-bodied students (who get a class credit for volunteering with the organization, essentially). I told her I was really new so probably not, but I was willing to look into it. She gave me the professor’s email and I sent him an email like “hey one of your students flagged me down to talk abt adaptive sports but I’m shit at wheelchairing so probably not but I’d love to meet up and chat and get to know more about the program and stuff.”
It’s been a month. I haven’t gotten a reply or acknowledgement or anything.
All the stuff I can find about the program is obviously directed towards able-bodied students wanting them to volunteer or take the class. The Instagram has a post with each student in the class getting a slide with their lil intro and stuff. The professor only appears in group shots. At any rate I’m not that invested.
Personal Relations
Abled ppl when I told them I’m getting a wheelchair: oh no!! I’m so sorry!! What’s wrong!! That’s awful!! :((((
Disabled ppl when I told them I’m getting a wheelchair: omg that’s amazing I’m so happy for u :)
One exception to the able bodied trope: my youth group Bible study, surprisingly. I was sharing that I was really feeling a lot of turmoil about my decision and all that jazz and they were like “just do it. you already know it’s the right choice, and ur strong enough to do it” and they all “oohed” and “ahhed” when I rolled up with it next week. 10/10 queens.
My wheelchair has caused so many personal relationship issues in my life. So many.
Suddenly everyone’s a medical expert in me specifically. Everyone besides me knows what’s best, and what’s best is not a wheelchair. People who used to ask me what was wrong with them when they had a tickle in their throat or fell on their foot funny have apparently become scholars on complex hashimotos, nerve damage, neuropathy, and any and all suspected other conditions I may have. I wonder when they had time to do that, since they still don’t know how to care for a simple kitchen injury.
When I point out that the alternative to the wheelchair is constant+worsening pain and ask them if that’s what they think is best, these overnight medical experts get all huffy and don’t have an answer.
I have done extensive research about all my diagnosed conditions and possible ones over the course of many years. I’ve been in and out (mostly out) of at least a dozen doctor’s offices and done several rounds of different types of PT. I also live in my body 24/7. One of my earliest memories is of waking up my aunt at night during a sleepover because my nerve pain wouldn’t let me sleep. I wasn’t any older than 4. Back then the only words I had were leg cramps and growing pains.
I didn’t know my pain was abnormal for a long time. I’m good at hiding it. I’m good at “pushing through.” I experienced severe medical neglect, to the point of it being life-threatening, for nearly 2 years in the TTI and I was punished any time I tried to advocate for myself and my needs or really even talked about how I wasn’t physically well.
Basically I gave up trying to truly tell people how bad my quality of life was when I was about 16 because I wasn’t believed and I was often punished and/or had it used against me.
Nevertheless, everyone (read: my partner, my parents, and my partner’s parents) in my life thinks that I’m terrible awful wrong bad lying etc. for using the chair.
I’ve been using it for ~2 months and this is the first week my partner hasn’t argued with me about it or made an unnecessary comment. #1 worst thing they’ve said is that I’m “neglecting half of my body” by not walking 24/7. Oooh that made me mad. I do my PT almost every day, I stretch every day, I know exactly what almost every ache and pain originates from, I check in with my body constantly throughout the day. But I’m “neglecting it.” Not to mention that after my second appointment my Doctor specifically said he wants me using the chair until at least June.
My partner was originally very supportive, but then they talked to their mom and suddenly everything changed and they are borderline vindictive about my chair. Their mother is a Doctor, true, but most of her career she was a PICU nurse and also knows exactly nothing about my medical history except that I’m allergic to pecans and walnuts. Oh, and their dad has a friend who cured hashimotos by going gluten free, so obviously I’m just not trying hard enough or smthn. ((I’ve been almost gluten free before. No change.))
I cried every week about their attitude towards/comments about my chair except for this one. Every time I felt confident about it I would remember everything they said and my shoulders would physically slump. But no matter how many times I brought up how hurt and uncared for I was feeling, it ended up with me crying and them being either the same or more solid in their beliefs.
My therapist is a saint.
On the brightish side, my family and partner have finally begun taking my health and chronic issues seriously. I went to the Doctor two weeks after I got the chair and got started on a new medicine (a loop diuretic if anyone’s curious).
My mom keeps asking if I’m “better yet” and it’s really hurtful for some reason? She wants to know all my improvements, but when I start to say how my chair has helped so much, she cuts me off and says “no I mean the medicine.”
I am on the lowest dose they make, and I only take it every other day. I haven’t lost any weight since starting it (loop diuretics work by flushing excess water out of your body via peeing every twelve seconds, and this leads to weight loss. It’s estimated I’m carrying ~30lbs in water weight). Again, it’s been nearly two months. I’m the pissmaster 9000 every other day.
My mom at some point said she just “can’t accept that I’m in a wheelchair at 20.” My brother in Christ, what does that even mean? I’m not even using it full-time, or even the majority of the time.
I’ve had a follow up with my Doctor since I started but he kept me on the same dose even though I told him I haven’t lost any weight. Cest la vie.
He did tell me he wants me using the chair until at least June, and if all goes well he’ll start me in (another round of) PT, and it sounded like he wanted me doing decently intensive PT because he asked if I was in school in June and said it was good I wasn’t. If I go to PT, the chair usage advice will be passed on to them.
This post got far too long. I’ll split my crutches experience into a separate post and link it here once it’s up.
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The chair herself. Yeah it’s in a bathroom don’t worry about it.
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