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#people move away from their families all the time
sporadicbeans82 · 2 days
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Reader’s dad has really high standards for her like impossibly high for just a 16 year old, and she overworks herself to the point she passes out and all the girls are really concerned and she’s just like no i have to keep going i have to be better i have to be enough and then they all press her for more info and then when she eventually tells them about how she’s feeling they all comfort her and tell her playing pro soccer at that young is amazing and that she’s enough]” Barcelona Femini (mainly Alexia Putellas) or Arsenal WFC
You 100% do not need to write this just would love to see your talented writing skills give this a shot🫶
Enough || Barcelona Femení x Reader
Warnings: Mentions of death, toxic family relationships, lack of self care from reader, Swearing (probably?)
Word count: 4.3k words
A/N: I lied, this was next. Feel free to make more requests. I hope that this is alright, anon! I kind of strayed from the plot.
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“You should have scored more, you didn’t try hard enough,” Your father’s voice was flat, the comments made offhandedly as if he were talking about what you were having for dinner. As if he weren’t stabbing you in the back with his words, the comment digging deeper and deeper and cracking your heart open. “That header was yours, you disappointed your team by letting that one go.” 
Growing up, you’d always dreamed of playing professional soccer, and so your parents had supported your dreams. They drove you to each of your games and training, and helped pay for you to go to an academy. They helped you get to your national camps, made and packed nutritious food for you, and supported you in each and every way that they could.
You stuck to your dreams and overcame so many challenges to get to where you were. You’d learned from the best, had run into injuries, had laughed with friends and had lost those friends as they’d given up the dreams that all of you had had. You’d thought about giving up, too, especially when your mother had been diagnosed with cancer.
She’d fought tooth and nail to stay alive, working hard to still help you become the best player that you could. She continued to support you with your father, up until the point where she was far too weak to continue doing so. She’d gone to every single one of your games, even when she felt sick or like she didn’t have the energy, and for that you were determined to make it worth it for her. Little did you know that watching you was your mother’s greatest pride, and she would not allow her sickness to keep her from supporting you.
And so you stuck to the sport, even when your friends did not, and it had all paid off in the end. In the summer, you’d signed for Barcelona Femení, the day after your sixteenth birthday. Your mother was there for your signing, beside your father. That day, she promised you that she would watch your first game with Barcelona no matter what.
She hadn’t made it that long, dying only a few days later. You’d taken the loss hard, but it was your father who had taken it the hardest. Your father had hardened in ways that you hadn’t anticipated, becoming cruel and harsh. He seemed to have given up hope, the bags beneath his eyes dark and puffy. 
He was a shell on the man that he’d once been, and it showed in the way he now treated you. After the loss of your mother, he’d drawn into himself and away from you, and you found yourself so much lonelier than you had ever been.
The team had been there for you, allowing you to take time off and letting you know that they had psychologists and people to talk to if you had needed it. It took you a week to return.
When you were finally mentally ready to move on and begin participating in training sessions, it was now your captain, Alexia Putellas, who drove you to practices. 
Your father no longer attended your matches, no longer worked hard to ensure that you got all the support that you deserved. Instead, he sat at home and mourned the loss of your mother. The truth was, you were both hurting, but you had to be strong in hopes that your father would soon bounce back.
He never did.
You hadn’t told any of your teammates, but the stress of the situation was getting to you. It showed in your performance and the way you trained in all of the worst ways. You were exhausted, emotionally and also physically as you had troubles sleeping at night. You wanted a hug from your mom, wished that she was there to tell you that everything would be alright.
But she wasn’t there, which was the entire problem, and she would never be able to do that again. 
And so things continued as they were for several months. The pressure grew onto you, far too much for your young shoulders to carry on their own, but you forced yourself to remain strong. You worked harder than you ever had in your life, attempting to be enough for your father and to try to make your mother proud as you’d promised her. 
Foolishly, you dreamed at night that you could bring your father out of the deep pit of depression he’d fallen into. Maybe, if you tried hard enough, he’d realize that you really were good at soccer. Maybe he’d wake up and realize that you needed him still, but the truth was that a part of him had died when your mother had, and you would never be getting him back. 
You’d basically forced him to come to your match, begging him for weeks on end to come to at least one. Ironically, it was the first time you were being trusted to start for your team as well. It was supposed to be a special match, commemorating everything that you and your parents had ever worked for.
You’d hoped that he would come out of his shell if he returned to a little bit of his old life. You’d been wrong, as the second you’d stepped into his car, he was throwing insults and critiques at you. 
He was nothing of the man you’d grown up with, and it hurt you like no other pain you’d felt in your life. Even breaking two bones in your leg at thirteen didn’t compare to the pain in your chest, hollowed out by month after month of loneliness and pain. You felt like your heart, once full of love, had been scraped empty of any positive emotion that it had once felt, and your father held the scalpel. 
You tried arduously to tune your father out, trying to focus on the positives of the match as your father drove. 
You’d won the game!
“You relied on the other defenders far too much to cover for your careless mistakes.”
You’d made an amazing tackle on a player who had skirted past Ingrid Engen! It had earned you a shower of applause from the watching fans and a proud peck to your forehead from Ingrid herself!
“You were too slow, you need to be faster, like Batlle.”
Alexia had told you that she was proud of you!
“You aren’t good enough for this team, God knows why they chose you.”
You weren’t aware of the tears which fell down your cheeks, and your father ignored them. You didn’t know why he was so intent on breaking you down after years spent building you up. You missed how life was before.
You missed your mom.
As your father pulled into the driveway of your childhood home, you hopped out. Before a sob could break free of your quivering lips, you were bounding up the steps to your room and closing the door behind you. You flopped down on the bed, all of the emotions which had bubbled beneath the surface coming out in ugly, whiny gasps and cries. 
Your heart burned, as if scorched. You had never felt so empty, so dark, and so lonely. You wanted someone to hold you, and you didn’t know who to turn to anymore. You cried yourself to sleep, although you only managed to get a few meager hours of sleep before you were awoken by some recurring nightmare.
-----
You barely managed to drag yourself to training, exhausted. The dark bags beneath your eyes stood out starkly against your pale skin. You were dressed in a jumper and sweatpants, both of which used to be an appropriate size but which now hung off of your tired frame. 
As Alexia picked you up, she noted your exhaustion with a small frown. 
“Hola, chiqui. Estás bien?” Her voice held a certain concern which was almost enough to break down your walls. You yearned so badly for a sense of comfort, and the which Alexia looked seemed to offer that.
You forced yourself to turn towards the window, not wanting to break down in front of your captain. Your father’s words from the past few months wore heavy on your mind. You were a disappointment and a burden, and you didn’t want Alexia to tell Jona that the team didn’t need you and decide to release you. You wanted to be enough, and you had promised yourself every night that you would be better, you just needed a little bit more time. 
Alexia frowned harsher, nearly locking the car and forcing you to talk to her, but deciding against it. She didn’t want to push you, but she’d noticed that you weren’t okay for a while. 
She’d taken note of the way you always did extra laps and repetitions of each of their workouts. She watched you participate in extra opportunities to practice penalties and how you stood behind after each training for at least an hour to do more work. She knew you were exhausting yourself, could see it in the way you could barely stand. 
She didn’t understand why you pushed yourself so hard, given how good you were. She tried to give you advice, to compliment you whenever she could and saw how you absolutely beamed under any sort of praise or compliment, as though you didn’t get it enough. 
Over the last few months, she’d taken on almost a mentoring role to you. You looked up to her, and she could see how you held each of your teammates in such high regard. For whatever reason, however, it just didn’t seem to stick in your mind that you were of the same caliber as each excellent athlete within the team. 
As she watched you turn away from her, she realized she would need to confront you soon. It was obvious that you weren’t taking care of yourself, but she didn’t want to do it now, not when you were blocking her out as hard as you could. She would need backup, probably from the other captains of the team, and made a promise to herself that she would do it later that day.
Instead of confronting you like she yearned to do, she stayed quiet and allowed you your peace. She watched as, ever so slowly, your shoulders sagged and your body untensed. You’d fallen asleep, and Alexia turned the music down a little bit to try to make the atmosphere easy to sleep in. 
Alexia noticed how the harsh lines in your face relaxed as you slept. You looked more peaceful than she’d ever seen you. She hated that she had to wake you up as the two of you arrived at the training center. 
She parked as gently as she could before reaching over and gently shaking you awake. You groaned as she did so, almost turning away in such a careless, teenage way that Alexia had never seen you do. You always seemed so much more grown up than you were supposed to be, even more so than Claudia or Pina or Vicky, all of whom were older than you. 
“‘M not ready yet, Mom.” You rumbled, and Alexia froze, the frown on her face deepening. She’d tried to be there for you, having lost her own parental figure in her father. She knew the pain that you felt all too well.
 So not to be mistaken for the woman who you’d just lost, Alexia spoke up this time as she shook at you again.
“Despiértate, nena. We are here.” You startled awake, the barriers which had dropped as you slept appearing once more as your face tightened again, a frown set upon your face which mirrored Alexia’s.
You thanked her quietly before climbing out of the car, purposefully walking ahead of Alexia so that she couldn’t ask you any questions about your slip up.
You entered the locker room near-silently, the hood of your jumper up to cover the vast majority of your face. You ignored the looks you got from each of your teammates in favor of quickly getting dressed for training.
As you went to tie your shoes, you realized you were, yet again, crying.
You’re too emotional. Words of your fathers’. Your teammates wouldn’t like you if you showed emotion in front of them. You pushed the fabric of your sleeve against your cheeks, leaving red marks behind with how harshly you rubbed at the salty tears. 
Then, to try to remain inconspicuous, you bent over to tug your shoes on to your feet. You thought you were successful, but hadn’t anticipated how much you’d struggle with your laces. Your exhaustion mixed with your lack of breakfast had caused your hands to shake.
Each time you’d try to make a loop, your quaking fingers would pull too hard or drop the lace altogether. 
All of your teammates noticed your struggle, but it was Paños who stepped in. The older woman knelt down at your feet, hands wrapping around your own and holding them for just a second. Her eyes looked up into yours, noting the tear stains on your cheeks and giving you a comforting smile. 
Then, she refocused on your shoes and began to tie them for you. The rest of your teammates watched on anxiously, although they continued to prepare for training and tried not to stare. The truth was, everyone could see that something was going on with you and that you weren’t okay, but they were scared to upset you by saying anything. You already seemed too tiny and isolated and they walked on eggshells around you.
Each of your teammates yearned to be there for you, but they didn’t know you well enough to know how to be there for you. 
Paños finished with your shoes before standing, holding both of her hands out for you to take. She tugged you to your feet easily, one arm wrapping around you in almost a motherly manner.
The woman was usually seen joking with the younger kids, but with you she had taken a different role, like Ale. 
“Listos, nena?” The goalkeeper asked you, voice soft and comforting. Like Alexia, her voice nearly caused you to break down. You felt your shoulders shake beneath the weight of Sandra’s arm and resisted the urge to turn and hug her like you would have your mother.
You wanted comfort, but your father had convinced you time and time again that you didn’t need it and that you’d be a burden if you sought it out, and so you nodded and pulled away.
You walked out onto the field and began to stretch. You kept your head down, suddenly more numb than you’d felt in months. You ignored the way your stomach clenched with hunger and the way your head had begun to ache and sting from your lack of sleep, proper nutrition, and all of your crying. 
You didn’t look up, even as more of your teammates filtered out to join you. Claudia and Patri stretched next to you, trying to provide jokes for you to laugh at. They didn’t stop even as you didn’t react, continuing to try to cheer you up in the only way they knew how at the moment.
When a whistle sounded to signal the beginning of warmups, you stood instantly. Too fast, however, as your world tilted and spun around you. It reminded you of the first time you’d ever tried alcohol on your fifteenth birthday. 
An arm wrapped around your waist and you regained your balance against the firm body of one of your teammates.
“You okay?” You heard someone ask. Looking up, you caught the concerned glance of Ingrid Engen, who had also taken you under her wing when you’d joined the team. You nodded, pulling away from her, too.
So many people had touched you in the past hour, more than you’d had since your mother had passed away. You almost didn’t know how to react to all the comforting touches and glances, having not received them in so long. 
Ingrid watched on sadly as you walked away from her, the concern which swirled within herself increasing as she watched you wobble away. Ingrid had noticed how out of it you were, how tiny you had been in the clothes which had fit you a month ago. You were pale, more than normal, and the way you’d nearly passed out showed Ingrid that you were not fit to practice. 
The Norwegian caught Alexia’s gaze from across the yard, shaking her head at the Spanish captain to try to convey that you shouldn’t be training.
Sensing that something was wrong, Alexia began to make her way over to you. As she did so, however, your legs finally seemed to cave in from underneath you.
None of your teammates would ever be able to get the image of your crumpled figure on the turf as Alexia and Ingrid both ran to you. The rest of your teammates watched on as the medics were called over.
You were turned on your back by Alexia, one of her fingers touching at your throat as they attempted to find a pulse. It was thready and uneven, but there, and Alexia wanted to cry. She cursed herself for not confronting you sooner, more worried than she remembered ever being as the medical staff pushed her back to give your crumpled form more room.
Alexia had been the one to recommend you to the team, having attended one of your matches for Spain’s U17 match. You’d played up and had still outclassed so many of your teammates, a solid wall in the backline which your teammates depended upon. She’d seen the glimmer of excitement and determination in your eyes, one that you’d lost since the passing of your mother.
She felt like this was all her fault. If she had just spoken to you sooner and had investigated what was going on with you… then, maybe, you would have been okay. She felt as though she had failed you and her responsibilities as a captain to ensure your safety.
You’d become a skeleton of the incredible human that you’d once been, and had watched all the life drain from you while being unable to do anything about it. As you were placed upon a cart to be carried off the field, however, Alexia promised that she would be there for you.
You were wasting your life away, and Alexia was determined to figure out why.
-----
You awoke in a dimly illuminated room, your throat dry and your eyes feeling like they’d been doused with sand. You groaned, attempting to lift your hand as you slowly game through to try and brush at your forehead. You felt cold and sticky all at once– you didn’t feel well at all.
Your hand was caught on something, and you attempted to bat at it only to have your hand caught by something else. As the room slowly began to swim into your vision, you caught the familiar brown eyes of your captain. 
“Hola, capi.” You rasped, and Alexia’s concerned face brightened ever so slightly, a small smile gently pulling her lips upward.
“Hola, chiqui. Como estás?” Alexia inquired, her voice far gentler than you’d ever felt.
“Not very good,” You whispered honestly, feeling like shit. You were tired of fighting, tired of feeling like you weren’t enough. You were ready to be honest about how you felt, no matter if the people around you would stop loving you as your dad promised that they would. “What happened?”
“You passed out.” This voice was different, coming from your left. Slowly, your head fell sideways and you caught the glance of Ingrid. The girl looked more worried than you ever had seen her, and you felt truly terrible for worrying the older woman. 
“Oh.” You didn’t know what to say to that. You knew that you hadn’t been feeling very well for a long time, but you’d been too scared to mention it to anybody but your father. The man who was supposed to keep you safe had failed you in all ways possible, but you didn’t see it that way.
You felt like you weren’t enough and that it was you who had failed, and that you didn’t deserve comfort or love because of it.
Alexia sat up, the motion causing your gaze to come back to her.
“Do you want to tell me why you haven’t been taking care of yourself?” Alexia speaking English took you by surprise. You supposed that it shouldn’t have been that surprising, but you knew that the girl seemed to almost avoid speaking the language. Her voice was still low, comforting, and still worked at lowering your barriers ever more.
You had to resist the urge to throw yourself in her arms and blubber like a baby. You reminded yourself that they would remove you from the team, that they wouldn't accept you, that they would see you as weak.
However, the way Alexia held your hand, her grip comforting and sure, made you think that… maybe… your dad was wrong. Maybe they did care. 
“I…” you hesitated, and felt someone put a hand on your shoulder. Glancing over, you realized that Paños was there, too. You caught her concerned gaze, the small smile on her face, and heard her tell you that it was okay. 
It was then that you realized, all of the adults that you trusted most in the world, that made you feel better when you were at your worst, were there for you. They were here for you when you were lower than your lowest, and if they hadn’t left when you’d fallen on your face on the field, then they wouldn’t leave now. 
That thought gave you the courage to tell the truth, and so you did. 
The girls listened throughout your story. You told them how low you felt, how scared you were. You told them that you missed your mom, but so did your dad. You told them that he’d become a shell of the man he’d once been, that he’d become cruel and harsh– everything that your dad was not. The girls’ faces were stormy, but still they worked to comfort and reassure you in every way that they could.
By the end of your retelling, you were crying, but so were they. 
You were utterly exhausted as a yawn broke through, revealing your exhaustion to the other girls. It was Alexia who spoke first, frowning at you.
“We are here for you, no matter what. We will fix this.” Her words were hard, but not harsh. They were a promise, one that you trusted. “Sleep, we will be here when you wake up.”
“I’m okay.” You retorted. Truthfully, you were terrified. You were scared that they would leave after trusting them with the information and words that had burdened you for months, just as your father had promised you.
Sensing your nervousness, Alexia gently slid up and onto the bed, taking her time and giving you plenty of room. 
As soon as the older woman had sat herself up, careful of the IV in your hand, you moved. You buried yourself against her, an arm wrapping around her back as your face buried itself in her shoulder. Alexia, ever so carefully, wrapped her arms around you in return. 
She pressed a warm, careful kiss against your forehead, and allowed you to cry into her shirt. She did not care about the way your tears wet the material, reassuring you in a spattering of both English and Spanish words. Ingrid and Sandra stepped out to give the two of you privacy, although they would be back for you. They would never leave your side, not now that they knew what you’d been going through.
Alexia continued to hold and comfort you in the ways that you’d yearned for months, her touch gentle. 
That was how you fell asleep, and how you woke up hours later. Despite the amount of time you’d spent in the spare room of the training center, Alexia had stayed. She had not allowed anybody to wake you up, having come to the conclusion that she would never allow your father to speak to you ever again. 
That night, she took you to her home, which she shared with her girlfriend, Olga. There, they cared for you.
Alexia made sure that you spoke to a therapist, and that you never saw your father again. She supported you in the ways that you deserved, and in the ways that you'd lacked since your mother had passed away.
Slowly but surely, Alexia saw you return to the kid that you’d once been: determined, carefree, and stronger than you’d ever been. 
Freed from the confines of your father’s sorrow, you were able to soar. You rose to levels of success that you’d only ever been able to dream of, and you stayed true to your promise.
You made your mother proud.
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prettyfastcars · 2 days
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hiding all of our sins | Mob!Lewis
Summary: Your father had a lot of enemies, and naturally after his death those enemies began pestering and threatening you. When your own home began to feel unsafe, you turned to Lewis for help. Lewis – your late father’s best friend and the only person in the world that you could trust. Lewis promises to take care of you, and reassures you that you’re safe with him. He seems like a perfect knight in shining armour, but he’s not exactly a saint… is he? Perhaps his chivalry masks an ulterior motive. 
Themes: mob!lewis, smut, fluff, praise kink, slight angst, mentions of death and violence, age gap (reader is in her early twenties), explicit language
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You always waited by the door for him. 
Lewis had been gone for quite some days this time. Usually his work trips are short, but he’d been gone for more than a week. You tried not to think about how miserable you’d been without him here. 
You sighed just thinking about how you spent your days all alone, with only the housekeeping staff around, in the big house. You weren’t complaining though, you were grateful for it. For everything Lewis gave you. The security, the warmth, a home where you weren’t paranoid all the time. 
You were grateful for Lewis. Sometimes you wondered what would’ve happened to you if he hadn’t offered a helping hand when he did. 
Lewis came into your life after your father’s passing. But your father always spoke of him. They were childhood best friends. They grew up together, and later on became powerful, rich, and Machiavellian rulers together as well. But Lewis moved away in order to expand his empire even more and never visited. 
He and your father kept in touch though. 
Your family was small, it was just you and your father. And he had kept you sheltered your entire life. So when time came to leave home and move for uni, it was hard on both of you. You’d never been out in the ‘normal’ world before, you were always homeschooled and your friends were always other homeschooled kids – whose parents were friends with your father. So your circle was small as well. 
And your father worried too much about you not being safe at home anymore. And unfortunately, he seemed to have worried himself to death. Because barely a year into uni, you received a call from home telling you that your father had passed due to a sudden heart failure. 
Your whole world came crumbling down then. You would’ve been buried beneath the rubbles as well had Lewis not offered you his helping hand at the right time. 
At your father’s funeral, that was the first time you’d met Lewis in real life. All this time he’d only ever been a voice on the phone. But he was there for you now. 
He was there for you all throughout the funeral, took care of the planning and everything. He stood with you and held your hand at the cemetery even after everyone was gone. Lewis was somehow always where you needed him to be. Right beside you. 
After your dad, it was up to you to handle all the businesses and what not. And you weren’t well equipped to do that. Plus, some people – rivals – saw it as an opportunity to scare you, hoping you’d offer them everything, give it all up and run. Some chose to appoint you as their new target, in place of your father: sending you threatening notes which always found their way into your car, your home, by the pool, everywhere. They also began poaching your staff, employees, even some of your guards. 
And your home didn’t feel safe anymore. You couldn’t sleep at night, hadn’t been able to for days because you were constantly worried about your safety. Every little sound, every little creak made you panic, made you think that someone was in your home and were about to hurt you. 
That’s when you turned to Lewis. 
And he was ever so kind to help. Within a day or two you had packed your whole life and moved in with Lewis, in his luxurious home. 
At first you thought it’d be awkward living with him. After all, you had never met him your whole life. He was much older than you, wiser too. And he was always calm, always knew what to do and what to say. He intimidated you at first. But then you got past the cold exterior, and he quickly became the warmest presence in your life. Comforting. Safe. 
And you wouldn’t lie, you had a silly crush on him. How could you not? He was handsome, and beyond charming. He had the most gentle voice, and the most addicting laughter. He had ink all over his smooth skin, and his hugs were soothing even though he had hard muscles all over. And he had the kind of smile that could make your knees weak. 
You were lost in thoughts of him, so much that you didn’t even realise the front door was opening up to reveal the man himself stepping into the house. 
“Lewis!” You squealed, running into his waiting, open arms. 
He laughed as he caught you, wrapping his big arms around you and holding you so close like he’d never let go. You buried your face into the cool material of his suit and breathed in his signature scent. Dark and powerful. 
“I’ve missed you too, princess.” He murmured against your skin as he kissed your forehead. 
“You’ve been gone for too long this time.” You whined against his warm neck, feeling the cold pearls of his necklace brushing against your mouth. You gave them a soft kiss without him noticing. Something about him always made you behave like a spoiled little princess, always wanting more of his time and attention, always whining and complaining. 
“I’m sorry,” He cupped your face so you’d look at him, “But I’m here now. Okay?” 
You nodded quickly, then smiled at him like he was all that mattered in the world. “Come, let’s eat.” You grabbed his hand and pulled him further into his home, towards the dining room. “I asked the chef to let me make dinner tonight.” 
“You did?” He let you drag him all the way to the dining room. 
The pride in his voice made you bloom. “I did! All by myself.” 
When he finally saw the dining table, he turned to face you with a gentle smirk. With his braids tied at the back like this, he looked younger than he was. “I love how extra you are, princess.” 
You led him to his chair and said, “I’m not extra, I just like using the fancy stuff.” 
He reached out and grabbed your wrist before you could turn around. Bringing your hand up to his soft mouth, kissing it and then he murmured, “Well, you laying the table with the fancy stuff is very much appreciated, princess.” 
You smiled at him again before you took your seat. He sat at the head of the enormous table, and you to his right. He asked you about how your week without him went while he poured wine into two glasses. He listened to your whining and complaining with a soft smile on his pretty face while you both ate. 
You asked him about his work and as usual, he gave you the briefest of details. When you pried some more he always told you that he would rather keep you as far away from that life as possible – like your father did. 
And then, of course, the mention and memory of your late father always put a pout on your lips and a frown on your face. Lewis hated it. So he reached for your hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. 
“I hate seeing you upset, princess.” He said, rubbing his thumb across your skin. Caressing it in a way that made you relax immediately. 
You let out a sigh. “I just wish he would’ve taught me how this world works.” You said, your tone full of regret. “Maybe I could’ve handled things on my own after he was gone, instead of piling all my troubles on top of you.” 
“Hey,” He said, rather sternly. “Look at me.” When you finally looked up from your plate, Lewis gave your hand another reassuring squeeze. “Your father wanted to keep you away from the dangers of this life. And I intend to keep you safe as well. As for handling things on his or your behalf, well it’s an honour.” 
You smiled at Lewis. A softer smile. There were instances like this one where all you wanted to do was climb onto his lap, wrap your arms around him and never let him go. “Thank you, Lewis.” 
“You know I’d do anything for you, princess.” He wanted to get rid of that sombre look on your face, so he suggested, “Now, how about we have a movie night?” 
Your face lit up immediately. “Okay, I’ll go get changed and make us snacks.” You spoke as you got up. 
Lewis got up as well, saying he’d meet you downstairs in the living room after a quick shower. 
— 
You rushed to your room and got changed into your most comfiest PJs, before almost running to the pantry in the kitchen to find the best snacks. You gathered your goods in the living room and waited for a few minutes, but Lewis didn’t come. 
So you walked back up, down the corridor and all the way to his room. You knocked twice before entering, then heard the shower going. You almost turned around to leave but then you caught the scent of his body wash – invigorating, appealing, earthy, and incredibly masculine. Somehow that made you stay. 
And instead of walking out of his bedroom, you threw yourself onto his comfy bed. You stretched and rolled around lazily like a sleepy kitten who’s found the most perfect sunlit spot. So there you stayed, mindlessly scrolling through your phone and eventually drowned out the sound of Lewis’ shower.
A few minutes passed and you didn’t even realise that the shower had been turned off. The sound of the bathroom door knob turning made you freeze, and a second later Lewis was standing in front of you with only a towel wrapped around his waist. 
“I didn’t hear you come in.” He said, standing there in front of the bed with a playful smile on his face. You remained speechless. He added, “I noticed some of your stuff in my bathroom. Care to explain?” 
Your brain barely even registered the words that came out of his mouth because you were mesmerised by the sight of him. The water drops sliding down his abs, the tattooed skin glistening, and that damn towel wrapped so low, so carelessly. Your heart pounded. 
Lewis took a few steps forward, coming to a stop at the end of his king size canopy bed. He braced a muscular arm against one of the posts, “I also noticed some of your things on my bedside. And now that I think about it, there was also a ‘you’ size dent in my bed when I walked in.” He had that same boyish, playful smirk. “Did you nap in here, princess?” 
You finally peeled your eyes away from that deliciously distracting nautical compass tattoo in the middle of his chest, and stared into his dark brown eyes while his previous questions finally registered in your brain. The moment they did, you groaned and hid your face into a nearby pillow. 
Lewis laughed as he came to the side of the bed, reaching out to tickle you until you faced him again while laughing hysterically. “I’m sorry, okay?” You tried to run, but he grabbed you by the ankle and dragged you back, and ended up pinning you to his bed. “I’m sorry.” You repeated, giggling and now unable to hide. 
He pinned your wrists on either side of your head, leaning over you as he spoke. “I didn’t ask for an apology. You can do whatever you want in this house,” He smirked. “I asked for an explanation. Now, did you sleep in here while I was gone?” He prayed you didn’t look down, otherwise you’d see the huge bulge forming behind the towel. 
The thought of you in here? On his bed? Sleeping peacefully while he was away dealing with work? It made him puff up with how much he liked it. 
You groaned again, and tried to escape but he threatened to tickle you until you were breathless again so you finally confessed, “Okay fine, I slept here the whole time you were away.” You sounded a little embarrassed as you said so. 
“You did?” 
You nodded, looking up sheepishly at him. “It helps.” You said. You couldn’t get over how good he looked above you. 
Lewis frowned. “Sleeping in my bed helps? With what?” 
You whined in embarrassment, then said, “You know, the funny feeling.” 
“What funny feeling, princess?” 
Instead of talking, you twisted your hand free from his grasp and held his hand while you guided it over to where you wanted. You urged his hand to cup you in between your legs. Lewis sucked in a sudden breath as he did, cupping you through the satin shorts of your PJs. 
“Right here?” He questioned with a deeper, raspier voice, looking up to meet your eyes. He found you with parted lips and a hazy look in your eyes. You nodded at his question. “And you get this often?” 
“Only when I think of you.” 
His fingers gave you an experimental squeeze, pressing into your clothed flesh. And you gasped at the foreign but welcomed feeling. 
“Well then, I better see what this is about.” 
You watched how he let go of your wrists, grabbed the waistband of your shorts and slowly dragged them down your legs. He threw them behind him somewhere before placing his warm, rough and tattooed hands on your thighs, spreading them. 
You gasped as he slid a gentle finger up and down your slit through your thin underwear. You watched his tattooed finger moving slowly in between your shaking thighs, and when you looked up you found him staring down at you with nothing but hunger in his eyes. 
“Please.” You murmured. 
Lewis smirked. It felt like a warning for the coming danger. “And this funny feeling… how did it go away, princess?” 
You whimpered both under his touch and at his question. 
When you didn’t respond, he leaned down and mumbled as he kissed along your exposed throat. “Answer me.” 
You whimpered at the tone of voice he used, which made you grind against his finger instinctively. “I… I took care of it.” 
“How?” He kissed his way up to your chin, biting your skin playfully and making your back arch off the bed. “Hmm?” He sounded almost stern again. “Show me how you did it.” 
He pulled away then, his finger no longer touching your skin as he stood on the side of the bed. You looked down and that towel around his waist was ready to come undone at any moment. And that made you clench your thighs tighter together. 
“Show you?” 
“Mhmm,” He nodded. “I wanna see.” 
The look in his eyes gave you a strange rush. Like a boost of confidence. So you held his stare as you took the rest of your clothes off, dropping them carelessly on the bed before you grabbed the nearest pillow and straddled it. 
You watched how his breathing deepened, even when he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against one of the bed posts. Like he wanted a show. 
So you gave him one. You humped his pillow right in front of him until you were a moaning, whimpering mess. Your fingers naturally found their way to your breasts, fondling and toying with them as you moved your hips, grinding on the pillow. 
You were carried away by the satisfying feeling in between your thighs. Your eyes were closed the whole time, so you didn’t see him as he moved closer. You only realised he was indeed close to you again when you felt his hand wrap around your throat, preventing you from moving. 
You opened your eyes and found Lewis’ face mere inches away from yours. You were breathing heavily, and he looked like he was barely able to hold back. 
“So this is what you did while I was gone?” 
You nodded. 
“And did you think of me when you came? Each time?” His voice was almost unrecognisable. Deep. Dangerous. 
You nodded again. 
Lewis frowned like he was in pain. “Oh princess…” He whispered, leaning in just enough so that when he spoke, his lips brushed against your parted ones. “Now, can you do what you did to the pillow but on my face?” He asked, so casually that it took you a moment to process his words. 
“What?” 
He smirked again, “You heard me. Come sit on my face.” 
You barely had time to be coy. He was already moving into the position he wanted, with you holding onto the headboard and kneeling on the bed while his face found its way in between your thighs. 
You’d never been this intimate with anyone before, and Lewis sensed your brief hesitation. But then he kissed your inner thighs as you hovered above him and he said, “It’s okay, princess. It’s just me. I’m dying to see what you taste like.” His arms wrapped around your thighs, keeping you in place as he urged you to lower yourself down to his waiting mouth. He lifted his head up just a little to give your pussy a soft kiss. “This belongs to me, don’t keep it from me. Now sit.” 
You whimpered as you did. And he was ready for it, his eager mouth latched onto your clit and he worked his mouth like his life depended on it. Sucking and licking and shoving his tongue past your wet folds, occasionally moving his head side to side.
You moaned out loud, throwing your head back as your hands held onto the headboard for support. His tongue worked wonders against your sensitive clit, making you feel all tingly and warm as you dripped all over his mouth.
“You taste so fucking good, princess…” he murmured against your wetness as you gently rolled your hips against his face, smearing your arousal all over his lips and chin, grinding against his tongue like you did the pillow. His teeth grazed your swollen, sensitive clit until he had you moaning loudly against him.
Your hips moved against his face as he licked each and every drop of what you gave him. 
“Fuck, princess.” He groaned, closing his eyes and humming loudly at your taste. He adored the sounds you made above him. He even forgot that he was himself throbbing with need because he was determined to make you come. He’d dreamt of this, of having your thighs wrapped around his head and to taste you and make you come all over his tongue. “Come for me, baby.” He whispered. 
You were so close even he could feel it. Your thighs clenched around his head even harder. His hands rubbed up and down your skin, caressing you as he tasted you leisurely like he had all the time in the world. 
You looked down at one point and found him with his eyes closed, enjoying himself, happy to be there and that did it. You came with a loud cry, grinding harder against his tongue. You were shaking, trying to calm down after that mind bending orgasm, and before you knew it Lewis was behind you. 
Kneeling behind you with his legs outside of yours, that damn towel discarded, his warm chest pressing into your back. His arms wrapped around you and his mouth kissed your neck from behind. 
“You taste like heaven, princess.” He mumbled into your ear, his hand drifting down your body to tease your clit again while his other hand wrapped around your throat. “I’m gonna fuck this delicious little pussy now, okay?” 
You nodded quickly, whimpering as his fingers spread you open for him while he pushed into you again from behind. “Fuck…” You moaned quietly. 
There was nothing gentle about him this time. Unlike earlier, he was now wild, and passionate, moving in and out of you, fucking you like there’s no tomorrow. “That’s a good girl,” He murmured when he noted that you pushed back against him, meeting each one of his thrusts. “That’s it, princess…” 
He tightened his grip around your throat as he sped up into you, growling right in your ear and telling you that you belonged to him, “You’re all mine now. All mine.” 
You were a moaning mess, holding onto the headboard to keep yourself upright while he pounded into you from behind. His braid had come undone from the ponytail they were in and now tickled your skin as he brushed his warm mouth against your skin. 
“No need for the pillow now, baby, you hear me? You can just walk in here and take whatever you want from me,” He gripped your hips and slammed in and out of you, grunting in the process. “Anything you want, you can have it. My hands, my tongue, my cock… it’s all yours, princess.” 
The pleasure became too much to handle, and you felt a familiar pressure forming in between your hips. His tight grip on your body would surely leave a bruise, but Lewis didn’t care. 
“Do you even have an idea of how obsessed I am with you?” He released your throat and placed his hand on your abdomen, pressing down on your front so he can feel himself inside you with each thrust. His fingers rubbing your clit quickened then. “You feel me deep inside you, baby?” 
You nodded, moaning and gasping in pleasure. 
“This is how I’m gonna keep you now, always full of me,” He growled, teasing your earlobe while he pounded into your mercilessly. 
You whined loudly when both his hands gripped your waist, pulling you into him harshly each time, speeding up until you came all over his cock. It didn’t take him long to come after that, buried deep inside you and filling you up like he’d always dreamt of doing. 
You were shivering after he was done with you, whimpering and sore as he pulled both of you down on the bed, pulling you closer to him. He snuggled you until you stopped trembling. 
“Did I hurt you, princess?” He asked, kissing your face. 
“No,” You murmured. Then shyly added, “Can we do that again?” 
Lewis laughed, wrapping you tightly in his arms as you wrapped around him like a koala bear. “Anytime, baby.” 
And there you were finally, in his arms. 
This wasn’t quite how he had planned it in his head. Lewis had grown envious of his childhood friend. The initial plan was to get rid of your father, earn your trust enough until you handed everything – the properties, the money, the trained guards, all of it – to him, and the final part of the plan was to get rid of you. 
Making your father’s death seem natural was easy. But that last part of his plan never happened. It almost did, but then he saw you that day at the cemetery, looking sad, teary-eyed and so, so beautiful. 
Things changed then. He still took everything, but didn’t get rid of you. He couldn’t. He was obsessed, and he needed you closer, wanted you living with him and so he found a way to make your family home seem unsafe. 
Planting those notes was too easy. 
And next thing he knew, you were begging him for help. So he took you in, and kept you. Obedient and needy for him. His princess, now forever. His sins, all of it hidden perfectly. 
412 notes · View notes
valeskafics · 2 days
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"Over The Rainbow" - Gale Cleven x Reader
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a/n: my first time writing for buck! i hope y'all enjoy this!! 🩷
Summary: Thirteen years ago, Gale Cleven ran from you when you tried to kiss him. He doesn't intend on making that mistake twice.
TW: profanity, innuendo, she/her pronouns, AFAB reader, loss of virginity, fingering, oral f receiving, p in v sex, unprotected sex, ww2
Word Count: 3,000
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Masters of the Air characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.
Comments, likes, and reblogs are never required but are immensely appreciated 🩷
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Gale remembers the last time he saw you vividly. You bounded up to him, a homemade valentine in your hands, grinning that chipped-tooth smile of yours, your two braids flying behind you. You shoved the paper into his hand and he looked between it and you, confused for a moment before reading its contents. There, on the paper, was a poorly drawn picture of a bee. And under it, the words “Bee mine, Gale?” Of course, the entire schoolyard was full of kids, teasing the two of you as you leaned in to press a kiss to his lips. And even though every fiber in him screamed to lean in and let you, he pulled away and ran, the sounds of the other kids' laughter ringing in his ears.
Casper, Wyoming was the kind of town where everybody knew everybody, with a population of just over fifteen thousand people. From the butcher to the seamstress to everyone who lived within a fifteen mile radius. How was he supposed to just kiss you like it didn’t mean anything? His friends would’ve mocked him ceaselessly. Hell, he might’ve even gotten beaten up, come Monday! So, he stayed inside all weekend, save for church on Sunday, praying that by the time Monday rolled around, everyone would’ve forgotten the almost kiss.
Valentines’ Day was on a Friday that year. 1930. And by Monday? You were gone. Everyone always said if anyone was going to make it out of Casper, it would be you. Every talent show, you were up there, singing your little heart out. Acting in every play. Though Gale would tease you and tug on your braids, he knew that you had what it took to be a star. He was ready to give you that kiss Monday at school, only to learn that your family had moved to California. That you’d gotten a part in some traveling vaudeville group, singing with that voice of yours. By 1935? You’d gotten your big Hollywood debut, starring as Cosette in ‘Les Miserables’. But it wasn’t until 1939 that you became a star, your role as Dorothy Gale cementing your status as the starlet to watch going into the 40s.
He’d deny it till he turned blue in the face, but he cried watching you sing ‘Over the Rainbow’, that gorgeous voice of yours like honey in his ears. Gale went to the picturehouse ten times to see that film, spending every bit of spare change he had to watch your face light up that screen. His friends all teased him, reminding him that the pretty girl up there playing a character whose last name was the same as his first tried to kiss him all those years ago, and he ran. He was a scared little boy and he ran.
Only Bucky knows about all of this. He’s the only one Gale ever trusted enough to tell. So, when he sees that you are doing a tour with the USO, the Foxhole Circuit, to be exact. Meaning you’d be performing in England soon enough. Bucky knows it’ll take a miracle to drag his friend along to a USO show. He’s not one for that sort of thing. But, he vows to make it happen.
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Gale does his best not to smack Bucky across the back of the head for dragging him out to this show, but all the boys seemed fairly excited. So, he decides to be quiet and do this small favor for them, getting himself a bottle of pop and settling in with the others to enjoy the show. The lights go up and he listens as the crowd begins to cheer enthusiastically for whoever it is that is about to appear onstage. He leans in to ask Bucky who it is, out of curiosity, but his friend merely shushes him, turning his face back toward the front. The curtains go up and there you are. It’s as though all the air has been stolen from his lungs as he watches you wave to the crowd, that million dollar smile on your face as you make your way to the microphone. Some people say that actresses look different on screen than in real life. He agrees. On screen, you look beautiful. In real life? You look like nothing short of a goddess.
“Good evening, gentlemen, and thank you for the warm welcome. Before anything, I wanted to thank each and every one of you for your service. The people of America owe you our thanks and gratitude for the bravery you show here, so far from home.” Damn. Your voice is so beautiful that it nearly has him swooning, and your words are the sweetest he’s ever heard. You introduce yourself by name, “Some of you may know me from a couple of films I’ve been in.” Still so humble. Still with that little twang to your voice. God… The memories of your shared childhood come flooding back to him like a tidal wave, chasing after the girl in her dirty overalls, hair in two braids, the booming sound of your laugh coming from such a tiny little body. And hearing you now is like a warm blanket on a cold Casper night. It’s like coming home. “I was in a picture called ‘The Wizard of Oz’ a few years back that some of y’all may have seen. I’ll be singing a song from that. This is ‘Over the Rainbow’. I hope that this can serve as a little piece of home for you and remind you that when this is over, your loved ones will be waiting for you back home.”
The room goes deathly silent, everyone present holding their breath as you begin to croon so sweetly into the microphone. Gale feels the goofiest, dopiest smile spreading across his face, a blush coming to his cheeks as he stares up at you, awestruck. He remembers watching you sing this on screen, wondering if he’d ever see that girl with the chipped tooth from down the road again. And here you are, with that dulcet voice.
“Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high
There’s a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.”
Gale is completely enraptured by you. His best friend bites back a smile, patting him on the back, though he barely even notices, too busy gazing at you. Every note that falls from your lips, the way your eyelashes flutter as you lose yourself in the song. Hell, he’s pretty sure he can feel his eyes tearing up.
“Someday I’ll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops away above the chimney tops, that’s where you’ll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow, why then, oh, why, can’t I?”
Gale jumps to his feet, clapping louder than anyone present, taking a moment to appreciate the beautiful woman you’ve grown into. He sees the way you smile out at the crowd, the way you take a bow. And it’s that same spirit as when you used to win every talent show back in school. You’re older now, more comfortable in your skin. But it’s you. It’s unmistakably you. And he can hardly believe his luck. It’s like a star has fallen from the heavens right onto his front doorstep.
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Gale waits for you to finish speaking with some of the higher-ranking officers present before approaching you. He feels like that little boy again, palms sweating as he removes his hat, clearing his throat. He never expected to see you again. Not like this. Not looking so gorgeous and radiant. Colonel Huglin nods at him as he approaches, introducing Gale to you as “Major Cleven” as you extend your hand. Your lips part in surprise, eyes lighting up in recognition.
“Gale? That can’t be you.”
He smiles at you, taking your hand in his, the feeling of your soft, smooth palm almost enough to make him faint as he speaks softly, “I could say the same about you.”
You laugh, that same booming laugh from all those years ago that could fill a room, gesturing to your tooth, “Yeah, Daddy was finally able to afford to get it fixed.”
Gale chuckles, admiring that grin of yours, unable to help noticing the way the men around you eye you up and down. Like you’re less of a woman and more like a piece of meat. He feels a flare of possessiveness, jealousy inside him and takes a step closer to you.
“Look at you,” he remarks, “All grown up now.”
“You too,” you say softly, “The uniform suits you, Major Cleven.”
“Your new clothes suit you too,” he teases, “Though I guess I can’t be calling you ‘little menace’ anymore, can I? You’re not that little girl from Casper anymore.”
You slap his chest playfully, making him laugh even harder, “How dare you, Major Cleven? I’ll have you know they had the top accent coaches try to train the accent outta me. But you can take the girl out of Wyoming, you can’t take Wyoming out of the girl.”
“Well, thank goodness for that,” he drawls, that familiar accent the two of you share serving as a comfort to you both, “You’re still  that stubborn little girl I knew back when I was thirteen, huh?”
“I am indeed,” you pause before bumping your shoulder against his, the two of you entirely oblivious to the chatter around you, “And you’re still that same boy who ran away when I tried to kiss him on Valentine’s Day.”
Gale��s cheeks flush bright pink as he scratches his cheek, averting his gaze, “Hey, now. That was a long time ago. I was thirteen, what’d you expect my reaction to be?” Gale tries to play the whole thing off as if it isn’t something he’s spent the last thirteen years of his life kicking himself for.
“I’m only teasing,” you grin, “I know you were just a shy boy.”
“Oh, more than shy, I was completely petrified!” Gale admits, remembering the way he stumbled backward, tail between his legs and exited the scene, “I kicked myself for weeks afterwards. You moved away so soon after that and if I’d known…” He trails off wistfully, “I didn’t fully understand what a crush was yet. I had one on you, even though I didn’t realize it till the weekend was over and you were gone.”
“Well, that was the past, right?” You reply calmly, giving him a gentle smile that makes his heart skip a beat, that makes him want nothing more than to lean in and kiss you, right here and now, “How are things with you now? You got a girl waiting on you back home?”
“Things are fine… No girl to speak of,” he says, biting his lower lip before meeting your gaze again. He’s back there, thirteen years ago, standing in front of the girl he wants to kiss but too nervous to speak, “What about you? Never heard anything in the papers about a boyfriend or anything.”
“Naw, nothing like that,” you affirm, “I’m not trying to get hitched anytime soon. After all,” you give him a mischievous smirk, “The last time I tried to kiss someone, he ran away crying!”
Gale runs a hand over his face, the two of you bursting into laughter, his face turning a slightly darker shade of red, “I was young and shy and stupid. I don’t know what to tell you.”
“Young, yes. Shy, yes. An idiot? No way.”
He looks into your eyes, his heart filled with so much affection that he thinks it might burst, “Well, I definitely feel like one. Knowing what I should’ve done back then… I feel like an idiot for missing that chance.”
“Maybe you didn’t miss it,” comes your soft reply in that sweet voice of yours as you gaze up at him through your lashes, “Maybe you just had to wait for it to come round again.”
The thought of having another chance with you gives him hope like he’s never felt before. He glances away from you before looking back, a smile playing on his lips.
“You saying you’ve kept a torch for me?”
“Hold on now,” you protest, “I never said anything of the sort!”
“Well, maybe you should,” Gale counters, taking a step closer to you.
One step closer. And if you want him, truly want him, you’ll reciprocate. Which you do within mere seconds, grinning up at him.
“Maybe I should. Care to walk me back to my inn?”
“It would be my absolute pleasure, beautiful.”
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To your credit - and Gale’s - you manage to keep your hands off each other until you get to your room at the inn. The air is charged between the two of you as he walks you to your door, a longing gaze being shared between you as he bids you goodnight and your door begins to close. No later than one second after it shuts, you hear a knocking.
And when you open it, Gale stands there, his cheeks still flushed as he mumbles, “This is me taking the chance that’s come round again.”
And after thirteen years of pining on both your ends, of dreaming of what could be, your lips meet in a searing, passionate kiss. Your arms wrap around him as the two of you move back toward the bed. His body is on top of you, each of you eagerly tearing away at each other’s clothes, wanting nothing more than to feel the other’s bare skin against your own.
Gale’s lips are hungry against yours, and yet, so soft and so gentle, his fingers tracing your sensitive folds once the two of you are bare, nibbling at your bottom lip as he pushes two long digits inside of you. You gasp softly against him as he buries his fingers knuckle deep inside you, moving them in a hooked motion, the pads of his fingers rubbing against spots deep inside of you that you didn’t know existed. The moment is so intimate as you gaze into his eyes, your own hazy with pleasure, cries of his name falling from your lips over and over, your nails raking along the pale skin of his back, leaving angry red marks in their wake as you soak his fingers.
He moves back, his lips moving to your neck, down to your chest, your lower and lower until he reaches the apex between your thighs. Those soft, baby blue eyes of his meet yours, his lips parted in a silent question. You give him a short nod, allowing him to gently nudge your knees apart. Gale licks his lips at the sight of how wet you are for him, pressing a hot, open-mouthed kiss to your inner thigh before moving to your core. You gasp, your hands twisting in his hair as he slowly pushes his tongue inside you, the pleasure it brings you almost too much to bear. Gale seems to sense how much you’re enjoying this and lets out a small chuckle before moving his tongue faster and faster, giving broad strokes against your sensitive flesh, making you whine pitifully. Your hips buck up against his as he flattens his tongue against your swollen pearl, making tears prick at the corner of your eyes, your second peak overwhelming you as you swear you feel your soul leave your body, if only for a moment.
Gale seems hesitant to go further, but you pull him back, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck as you whisper, “I could lose you tomorrow. Forever. I won’t regret giving myself to you tonight. Not when I’ve waited this long.”
“You’re sure?” He whispers back hoarsely, barely able to hold himself back at the plea in your words.
“I’m sure, Gale. I love you.”
Gale smiles, joining his body with yours, slowly pushing inside you, taking care not to cause you any pain as he bottoms out with a low moan of your name, “I love you too.”
He starts off slow, hesitant, as if he’s afraid to hurt you. But you? You wrap your arms, your legs around him, pleading for him to move faster. And what choice does he have but to give you everything you want? Gale’s hips begin rolling against yours, pounding into you at a rapid pace, the sound of his skin slapping against yours echoing throughout the room as the oil lamp you burn begins to go out. His lips find yours once again as he kisses you, feverish and desperate, feeling you squeezing around him, your walls hugging him impossibly tight.
“I love you,” he grunts, each thrust growing more difficult, both your end and his own fast approaching, “I love you so much. Gonna come back to you, beautiful. Gonna come right back to you. Gonna have a family with you. Gonna have everything with you.”
“Yes, Gale, please,” you moan softly, his lips pressing to your neck, “I want everything with you too. Please come back to me.”
He feels your body squeeze around him, pulling out after you’ve reached your climax to spill himself against your stomach, not wanting to take any chances while he’s still at war. Wanting to save this for your wedding night, the day he comes back and sweeps you off your feet.
“Promise you’ll never leave me again,” Gale whispers as you tuck yourself under his chin, arms wrapped around each other, legs intertwined, “Promise me you’ll be there waiting for me when I come home.”
“I promise,” you vow, “I promise, Gale Cleven. You’re my rainbow, you know that? My happiness after the storm. I’ll wait for you, Gale.”
“I love you,” he whispers softly against your lips, kissing you once more, “I love you.”
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382 notes · View notes
sykostyles · 21 hours
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subject to change 1.1 (final)
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w/c: 6.3k summary: in which Harry gets his head out of his ass and goes after y/n. but is he too late? part one
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a/n: hi again! thank you all for the love on part one to this story! I can’t even begin to tell you how much it means to me! I hope you all enjoy this part just as much!
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cw: PLEASE LOOK HERE BEFORE YOU READ! impact play, breath play if you squint, general rough sex, implied cheating (no actual cheating takes place), breeding kink, creampie, anal play (he puts his thumb in her ass lol), p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it up, besties) general manhandling. If I forgot anything pls let me know!
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Harry did care. He cared a lot. But he knew you were angry and he let you go. It was the best option. At least that’s what he told himself. He would just live the rest of his life with this empty feeling in his chest. He’d live with the pain of constantly having to see your name when his customers would buy your books. He’d smile and continue to recommend your books to people looking for something ‘extra spicy’ as they’d put it. They’d always come back in a few days to get another one of your books.
He never did take your titles off of his Owner’s Picks shelf.
Sometimes Harry swore he could hear your giggles at the front of his store when he was helping a customer find something near the back. “Excuse me, just one second,” he’d mutter to the customer before hastily making his way up front to be met with nobody. He thought he was losing it. He knows he heard it. He wishes he’d heard it. He’d make his way back to the customer, breathing out some excuse and getting back to finding the book they were looking for.
You even haunted him in his dreams. He could feel the way your skin dipped and curved as he ran his hands over the sweat slicked skin. Feel the way your warm walls engulfed his length; sinking further and further under your spell. Hear the way you cried his honorific and begged him to let you cum; begged for more, Until the blaring of his alarm would snap him back to reality and he’d be left to take care of what dream you left behind.
It’d been six months of this constant brooding attitude he’d have whenever he thought of you. Harry hadn’t been able to sleep with anybody else. Just finding solace in fucking his fist, and wishing it was you. Oh but he tried though. A few women at the bar, or a pretty customer he thought looked like you. But they weren’t you, were they? He’d gotten drunk off of the way your body felt under his touch, and it’s like he’s been hungover ever since. Often he found himself looking at your social media, scrolling through all the pretty pictures you’d post. Pictures of your apartment, your cat, your family. Pictures with Chase? Who was Chase? Pictures with your friends. He’d take note of all the cities you’d been to since he saw you.
Oh, a new post.
You were apparently going to be about an hour away from him next week.
Interesting.
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Every city you traveled to, there were more and more people waiting to meet you. You couldn’t believe it. Flattered doesn’t even begin to describe what you felt. So many stories of how you saved people's relationships after they read your books. Their sex lives with their partners had been so boring but after they’d read your books, they’d found new inspiration to spice things up. Every time someone told you a new story you were dumbfounded. Still finding it so hard to believe that anybody even found your books interesting, let alone liked them enough to take time out of their day to come and meet you and have you sign their book.
You’d tried to move on from Harry. A few casual hook ups, and a short term boyfriend, Chase, that lasted all of two and a half months. Said boyfriend looked at you like you had two heads when you asked him to choke you during sex so you weren’t sure why you thought it would last. 
You would find yourself daydreaming; frothing at the mouth thinking of all the dirty things Harry had done to you. You’d grip the front of your sink in the morning, head hanging near your chest while you thought about Harry’s cock splitting you open; his fingertips colliding with your cheek while he called you his dirty little slut, all while Chase was in the shower, a wave of guilt washing over you for imagining these things while your boyfriend was two feet away from you. Oh, how you wished you could experience those things again. 
You were right though, you’d gotten plenty of fuel for your next book. The follow up to Little Freak was scheduled to be released at the end of the year, just in time for holiday sales. Jenny was thrilled. You thought you would be. But you just felt empty. You always felt worse when you’d snap out of it, staring at yourself in the mirror with annoyance for yourself written all over your face.
“You look sick, babe. You alright?” Chase would ask, stepping out of the shower. “You look a little flushed,” The back of his hand coming in contact with your forehead. He was super sweet after all. 
“Yeah, yeah. I’m good. Just warm in here from the steam,” you’d wave him off, pressing a kiss to his lips and offering him a smile.
Chase broke it off with you last week saying he couldn't give you what you wanted. You knew that, but didn't have the heart to break it to him first. He seemed a little fragile, if you know what I mean. So you pretended to be sad until he left your apartment and then you had a laugh before making a post announcing the next city for your signing tour.
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Jenny booked you a hotel, even though the bookstore you were going to be at was only about an hour away. But riding back in the car for an hour sounded pretty awful so you didn’t put up a fight. 
The owner of this store was so excited for your event. She walked up and down the line thanking everyone for showing up, and reminded all of them of the snacks and refreshments she’d set out. She was a doll, continuously asking if you needed anything. Always giving you a smile and a “Just holler at me if you need anything, dear!”
About an hour in, a pair of eyes caught your attention. You’d know those eyes anywhere. He was about four people behind the person you were talking to. Standing there, book in hand with that sweet smile on his face. His eyes bore into yours. Your breath caught in your throat, your face turned pink and your hands immediately felt clammy. The person in front of you snaps you out of your trance and you direct your attention back to them, acting as if nothing happened. 
“This book literally brought life back to my relationship. We had no idea what we were missing out on!” She exclaimed, “My husband sends his thanks as well,” she giggles out.
“I’m so glad you guys enjoyed it. Hopefully you’ll like the next one too. Thank you so much for coming!” You hand the book back to her with a smile. She thanks you and is on her way. The next few people are the same. It never got old though; hearing how your books positively impacted others. Whether they found out they liked something they never heard of, or if it gave them the courage to spice up their love lives. 
Harry studied you as you interacted with your readers. How genuinely happy you looked to be talking to these people. The smile on your face that he’d only seen in his dreams over the last six months. The crinkle you got near your eyes when you laughed. That giggle. He was addicted. He needed to hear it every day. He’d do anything. That’s why he’s standing here right now in front of you with your book in his hand. 
“Hi,” he says softly.
“Hi,” you say back to him. “What are you doing here?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” he hands the book over to you, a shit eating grin on his face.
“Cut the crap, Harry. What are you doing here?” taking the book, you scrawl your signature on the cover page.
“Can we talk?” he looks at you with pleading eyes. You glance up at him, holding the book back out to him. 
“I don’t know, Harry,” looking away, you fumble with the permanent marker between your fingers. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Please, sweets. Just wanna talk,” He smiles down at you. Meeting his eyes again, your gaze hardens. There’s no way he just wants to talk. You’re not totally stupid, but you’ll humor him.
“Fine. Just to talk,” you wave your hand in the air, “Just wait in the seating area.”
He smiles at you again. “Thank you.”
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Walking into your hotel room with Harry in tow, you wonder just how stupid you are. What are you doing? Is this smart? Probably not. Do you care? Also probably not.
“What are you actually doing here, Harry,” you ask, sitting on the end of the bed to take your shoes off.
“Would you believe me if I said I just wanted to see you?” his voice was quiet and smooth, nothing like it was in the bookstore earlier. He’s standing there with his hands in his pockets as he watches you.
“Not even a little bit,” you scoffed with a laugh, tossing your shoes to the side before leaning back on your hands.
“Well, it’s the truth.” His gaze remained unwavering. 
You were born at night, but not last night.
“You’re such a liar,” you laugh, “You’re going to stand there and tell me that you drove an hour just to see me?” 
“I missed you.” he breathes out. You just stare at him with widened eyes, and he stares right back. Emerald eyes, rather sunken and tired looking, just keep staring back at you.
“How dare you,” you stand from the edge of the bed, finger pointed into his chest. His eyes widen at your demeanor. “You don’t get to do that. You said this was a one time thing. You told me multiple times that it was a one time thing.” You continue walking towards him, him taking a step back with every forward step you take. “So, what exactly do you want, Harry? You came all the way here just to tell me you missed me? When was it you who put that rule in place?” His back hits your hotel room door. “Am i just a good fuck you can’t get out of your head or what?”
“N-no, you’re,” he pauses, “you’re everything. And I’m just an idiot who can’t talk about his feelings.”
“Please, you told me yourself that you don’t do ‘feelings’. So do me a favor and tell me what it is you really want.”
“I want you,” he says softly, looking at your lips. Not even an ounce of hesitation floods his system when he reaches out with both hands to cup your face, and finally presses his lips to yours for the first time. You gasp, but kiss him back anyways; Your hands finding a soft grip on his wrists. It’s everything. The way his soft lips perfectly mold with yours. All of the built up emotions he’d been shoving down the last half a year showed themselves in that kiss. He bore his soul to you in that kiss. His tongue swipes at your lower lip, but that’s when you pull away.
“No, Harry,” you rush out, “Y-you’re too late,” you pull his hands from your face, and start to turn away when he grabs ahold of your upper arm, spinning you back towards him.
“Oh, don’t give me that shit,” he bites out, tone no longer soft. “I saw the look on your face when you noticed I was there tonight.” 
“I-I have a boyfriend,” you lie, thinking you could use Chase as an escape route. Sure, he broke up with you about a week ago but Harry doesn’t need to know that. “You’re too late, Harry.” He studies you for a moment. The tremble in your upper lip from fighting off a grin. The telling glint in your eyes. The way you won’t look him in the eye.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a terrible liar?” Both of his hands grip your arms as he slowly walks you backwards.
“I’m n-not lying. I have a boyfriend. His name is Chase.” You almost stumble over your own feet, but his grip on your arms keeps you standing. Ah, Chase.
“Right,” he mocks you, “and does ‘Chase’ make you tremble and break like I did?” He leans down near your ear. “Does he make you beg and cry for it like I did? Does he make you cum so hard you see stars like I did? Hm?” His warm breath tickles the skin of your throat. Harry sweeps your hair away from your neck before latching his teeth onto your pulse point, making you gasp. You feel your legs bump against the edge of the bed, your fists take hold of his sweater to keep you standing.
“Harry, I can’t,” you groan. You want to; more than anything, but you won’t give him the satisfaction. He grins against your skin, swiping his tongue over the bite mark he left behind. 
“Your body says otherwise, sweets,” he says, bringing his face to be level with yours, “Tell me to stop,” he slips a hand under your skirt, teasing his fingertips along your inner thigh. Your breath is caught in your throat. “C’mon, tell me to stop,” he plucks the hem of your underwear right near where you want him most. His lips finding your skin again; featherlight kisses being pressed up and down the column of your throat. You tilt your head back to give him more room.
“H-harry, please,” you whine, your hands reach up to grasp the nape of his neck.
“Please what?” he whispers against your throat, biting down again, eliciting a groan from your lips. 
“P-please, t-touch me.”
“Thought you said you had a boyfriend?” He grins, tilting your chin down to look into your eyes. The hand that’s been under your skirt takes hold of the front of your panties and pulls you forward, making you lose your footing and sending you backwards onto the bed. Harry presses one knee onto the mattress, fingers still holding your panties, as he leans over you.
“T-that’s su–subject to change,”  you try to pull him down by the nape of his neck to kiss him again, but he doesn’t budge, one arm anchored near your head.
Instead, with a flick of his wrist he’s pulling your panties down your legs. Bringing them up to eye level, he smirks at the wet patch evident on the front of them.
“Is it now?” His salacious eyes look at you from above. You nod in response, making Harry chuckle. “So, are you going to admit that you were lying to me?” He tosses your panties to the side before bracing his other arm on the other side of you.
You shake your head, a mischievous smile forming on your pouty lips. You run your hands under his sweater up his torso, relishing in the warm feeling under your fingertips. He never let you touch him last time, but he wasn’t about to stop you now. He’d die a happy man after knowing what your skin felt like against his. The way your body reacted to every little touch he offered. Sure, he felt you last time, but not like this.
“You’re just going to make it worse for yourself, sweets,” Harry grins down at you.
“Maybe that’s what I want,” your hands stop their exploration and cup the sides of his face, your thumbs rubbing over his cheekbones. “I do have a boyfriend, but he’s not you,” you whisper. Knowing that Chase isn’t your boyfriend anymore.
“Such a naughty girl,” He leans down to kiss you, your hold moving up and tangling in his curls. You moan into his mouth when you feel the tips of his fingers come in contact with your cunt; he takes the opportunity to shove his tongue into your mouth, exploring every nook and cranny he could find before he pulls away, chuckling at your blown out pupils. “Does Chase take care of you like I did?”
“N-no,” a whine leaves you at the loss of contact, “He won’t even choke me,” you pull him back down to your mouth, hooking your right leg around his waist to bring his weight on top of yours.
He pulls away—“Sounds like a pussy”—before kissing you once again. Lips moving in sync; your whines and whimpers being stolen from you by the greedy man above you. His fingers finally make contact with where you need him most; dipping two inside your warmth to prod at the spongy spot that makes your eyes roll back.
“Haah, you have—ff—fuck, r-right there—no idea.” Your skin already feels like it’s on fire. Your body reacts to his every touch; craving more and more at every turn. Harry would give you anything you wanted if you’d asked for it.
“Mm, you probably feel so needy right now, huh?” he chuckles, bringing his free hand up to firmly grasp your throat. The mischievous glint forming in your eyes again, his favorite smile etched onto your lips. He finally put your favorite necklace back in its rightful place. 
“Uhuh, please. Need you so bad,” His thumb begins rubbing slow circles on your clit; your teeth take hold of your bottom lip as you look at him with blown out eyes, silently begging for more. 
“Yeah?” He’s enthralled by your eagerness. The most genuine smile he’s ever been able to muster forms on his lips. You’ve successfully turned this man into mush without even trying. He’d burn the whole world down for you if it meant you’d look at him like that. “Gonna let me take care of you?” 
You nod. 
“Forever this time?” he’s searching your eyes for any ounce of hesitation. Every feeling he ever felt for you shined bright in the emerald orbs before you.
You smile. 
Big.
“Y-yes, Sir,” leaves your lips in the form of a salacious whisper.
“I can be Sir any other time, I just want to be Harry for you right now, sweets,” he retracts his hand from between your legs, bringing it to face level. His eyes never leave yours as he swipes his tongue over his fingers, licking up every ounce of your arousal; his other hand never leaving your throat, rubbing his thumb over your pulse point. Your mouth waters at the sight. He’s so dirty; and you love it. 
You nod frantically in his hold. “H-Harry please,” you’re not sure what you’re asking for, you just want him.
“Gonna give you what you want–what you need–baby,” he presses a chaste kiss to your lips before taking a hold of your hip with his free hand and flipping the two of you over so you were straddling his waist. Sliding his hand that’s around your throat to the nape of your neck to kiss you deeply. He sits up with you, bringing his hands down to the hem of your shirt, sliding his warm hands over the expanse of your hips, trailing up to grope your breasts; his lips still moving perfectly in sync with yours. “C-can i take this off?”
“Please,” a whine leaves your lips. Your arms raise up as he slides your shirt over your head, tossing it to the side. He eyes your chest; placing kisses all over. Reaching behind you, unclasping your bra as it finds the same fate as your shirt. His mouth latches on to your left breast, rolling his tongue over the perked bud. You throw your head back, arms draped around his neck as you grind your bare cunt into his very evident bulge; reveling in the friction against your clit.
“If you keep doing that, I’m going to lose my shit,” he growls, taking your other breast into his mouth.
“Do your worst,” you whisper into his ear, sliding your hands under his sweater, pulling it over his head to join the other pieces of clothing on the floor. You stand from his lap before he’s able to react. Slipping your fingers into the waistband of your skirt, you shimmy it down your hips and thighs, giving him a little show. He watches on with lustful eyes. 
He reaches for his belt, pulling it from the loops of his jeans. “You gonna tie me up again, Harry? Hm?” you tease him, opening the button of his jeans.
“No, baby. Wanna feel your hands all over me this time,” he tosses the belt to the side, standing from the bed, he cups the sides of your face, pulling you to him once again. Your hands still working his zipper, pushing his jeans down.
“Then allow me,” you whisper. Reaching to pull his hands from your face, dropping them to his sides. Slowly sinking to your knees, placing open mouthed kisses to his skin as you traveled south. You feel his abdomen contract at the light touch, making you smirk against his skin before swiping your tongue over the surface, making the man above you audibly whimper.
“D-don’t tease, sweets.” 
You chuckle, pulling his jeans all the way down, he kicks them to the side. Harry slides his boxers off, not wanting to waste anymore time, much to your dismay. You roll your eyes, but your attitude disappears once his cock springs up and you catch a glimpse of his reddened tip, just begging for your attention. 
“Sit,” you whisper, running your fingertips up his legs, tracing over the tiger tattoo on his thigh; placing a kiss on its nose after he sits on the edge of the bed.
“Anything you want, baby,” he reaches to cradle your face, but you dodge his reach. He looks at you quizzically.
“No touching,” rolls off your tongue. You watch his eyes darken as that famous smile forms.
“Oh, you want to play like that?” he leans back on his hands, as you nod. Your hands wrapping around the base of his cock, making him suck a breath through his teeth.
“Wanna see how long you can last without touching me,” you say before you spit onto his tip, smearing it with the precum along his length. Engulfing him in your mouth, swirling your tongue over his tip; running it up and down the prominent vein along the underside. Harry’s eyes roll into the back of his head when you pass the tip of your tongue over the tip of his cock. 
“F–Fuck, sweets, that’s s–so go–ood,” his hands fist in the comforter, just itching to grasp into your hair to guide you how he wanted you. But he was enjoying letting you have your fun. You hum after sinking him to the back of your throat; working him up and up and up. “Baby, if you don’t stop, I’m gon–” you reach up, to fondle his balls, giving them a firm squeeze. His hands shoot up; pulling you off of his cock. “Unless you want me to cum down your throat, you’d better stop now,” he warns you, letting you go. You shake your head.
“Fuck my throat, Harry,” you groan. “Gimme your cum,” your tongue lulls out as you put your mouth on him again.
“You want my help now?” he questions, swiping your hair out of your eyes. You hum an ‘mhm’ around his cock. You pull off for a second—”You already lost, so just fuck my throat already”—before sinking your mouth back onto him. A groan erupts from deep in his chest; he stands slightly, gripping underneath your chin with one hand, and cradles the back of your head with the other, “Breathe through that nose, baby,” he says before nestling your nose against his happy trail; holding you there for a few seconds before pulling back just enough to hear the slick sounds of spit leaving your lips and then diving back in. Rocking his hips back and forth; his balls slapping your chin with every thrust. Your eyes watering, mascara bleeding onto your cheeks. He pulls you off, letting you catch your breath. “Color?” he asks, leaning down by your face. 
“G-green,” you choke out, a sadistic grin forming on your lips. 
“My filthy girl,” he smiles down at you. Tapping your cheek, signaling you to open, Harry spits onto your tongue, colliding his fingertips with the surface of your cheek before sliding his cock back into your mouth. You groan at the impact on your cheek. “Still want my cum in your throat? Blink once for yes and two for no, sweets,” he grins down at you. You blink once in response. “Alright, baby” he speeds up his hips, the tip of his cock prodding at the back of your throat with every thrust. You gag, but he presses on emptying himself deep inside. Moans and cries of your name leave his lips as he squeezes every last drop into your mouth onto your tongue. You swallow and cough as he pulls himself out, catching your breath. He reaches down, pulling you up under your arms to stand with him. Swiping his hands over your hips and lower back; he pulls you to straddle his lap on the bed once again. “Such a pretty girl, looking a mess for me,” he praises, swiping a thumb across your cheek wiping some of the tears and drool away. “Missed you like this. Missed you in general,” he whispers, pressing his lips to yours, tasting himself on your tongue. 
“I missed you too,” you whisper against his lips, pressing your lips back together. He grins against your mouth.
“Couldn’t have missed me too much,” he chastises you, “How many guys did you try to look for me in?” he questions, flipping the two of you over, standing between your legs and  leaning over you. “Hm? How many guys did you try to let have what's mine?” One of his hands swipes those two fingers through your folds.
“J-just f-four,” you moan at the contact. “Promise, I missed you,” you try to pull him down to you, but he remains like a statue, staring at you from above. “Please, kiss me, Harry,” you plead with him.
“Mm, just four,” he mutters. “Gonna give me four orgasms to make it up to me?” he nods his head at you, grabbing your chin to nod your head for you; he smiles at the look of panic in your eyes. “Say, ‘Yes, Harry’ if you understand, baby,” he says, placing a kiss on your nose.
“Y-yes, Harry,” you whisper. Smiling before pulling his lips to yours. He trails his kisses down the expanse of your chest, teasing his tongue on your skin with every kiss. You’re a whimpering mess beneath his touch. Reacting to every pass of his hands over your sweat-slicked skin. Harry settles on his knees between your legs, sligning your knees over his shoulders.
“Still green?” he asks, breath fanning over your cunt. 
“Uhuh,” you whine. “So green.”
Harry dives right in, swiping his tongue over your clit before wrapping his lips around it and sucking, lightly crazing his teeth over the nub; making your hips jerk in response. One of his hands slides up to firmly hold your hips in place against the mattress. 
“Oh, fuck, Harry,” you gasp as a finger enters your heat, giving you that delicious curl that only he could achieve. Your fingers weave into his curls, tugging at the roots. 
“Mm, baby. Keep pulling on it,” he moans against your pussy. “Make it hurt,” he whines. Tongue fucking you as deep as he could and his nose constantly bumping up with your clit has your senses turning all the lights in the house on, plus his finger poking at your g spot has you cumming without warning. Clutching onto his curls for dear life as your body convulses under his mouth.
“Gimme all of it, baby. Soak my face,” he says, continuing his ministrations. Your clit throbs under his tongue, sending shockwaves through your body. 
“T–too much, Harry, oh god. Too much!” He slaps down on your thigh as a warning.
“Shut up, and take it for me like the good girl I know you can be f’me,” his thumb pressing on your clit, sending you into your second orgasm only a minute and a half after your first one. “Good,” he praises you. “Very good, baby.” His fingers continue working you through your trembling state; bringing you back down to earth; just for him to send you back into outer space once he deemed you ready for takeoff. “How are you feeling, sweets?” He slides your legs off of his shoulders, then standing to lean over you again.
“So fucking good, Harry,” you moan out, reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck. He leans into your touch laying his body weight on top of yours. One of his hands comes up to cradle your face, swiping his thumb over the apple of your cheek before kissing you hard. Tasting yourself on someone else’s tongue has never tasted so good. He moans into your mouth, swiping his cock through your folds. 
“Good,” he smiles down at you. You hike your leg up around his hip, tugging him as close to you as possible as he pushes inside. A delicious stretch that you’ve missed terribly. None of those boys you’d attempted to forget Harry with could ever compare to this here and now. He swallows the moans you let escape; sliding his other hand down to grip the sides of your throat, making you whimper. “Take it,” he growls, “Take it all.” 
“Hgnh, Harry. It–it’s–” your moans take over before you’re able to finish your sentence. But Harry knew.
“Know it is, baby. But you love it.” He grins, covering your mouth with his to pull your tongue into his mouth. Stilling his hips once he’s at full hilt, surveying your body's responses to the stretch. Pulling your other leg up over his hip, you silently beg him to move. Harry begins rocking his hips back and forth, stealing every one of your whimpers and cries of pleasure. Your nails leaving scratches along his back. Harry reaches one arm under your lower back, lifting your hips slightly, getting a different angle. Your head tilts back, he takes the opportunity to attach his teeth to your throat, eliciting a deep groan from you. 
But he’s not satisfied yet. He stands, still inside you; grabbing ahold of behind both of your knees and pressing them to your chest, he pistons himself into your cunt; turning you into a whimpering mess. “Fuck, sweets, this pussy fe–eels so go–od.” He groans, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. The angle making your eyes cross; lulling your tongue out he offers you a wad of spit, adding two fingers. “Suck,” and you do. Taking them into your mouth; swirling your tongue around. His other hand sliding down to rub fast circles on your clit, making you gasp. Accepting the opportunity, he pushes his fingers further into your throat making you gag. “Hm, very good, baby,” he smiles at you, retracting his fingers; offering you a slap across your cheek. You smile up at him. “Dirty girl, just wants to be manhandled. Poor thing’s been neglected, huh?” You nod. 
He speeds up his fingers, ignoring your protests of too much. He reminds you that you know what words to use if you really want him to stop. “Gonna cum, pretty?” 
“Uhuh uhuh,” you whine, “hurts, Harry.”
“Know it does, pretty. But you’ll take it f’me won’t you?” he coos at you. You nod frantically in response, your arms anchoring around his neck and pulling him to you. “Yeah you will.”
“G’na cum, Harry,” you tuck your face into his throat, peppering kisses all over the surface in attempt to ground yourself. 
“Cum all over me, pretty girl. Give it to me,” he whispers in your ear. Your body contracts against his, he anchors one hand to your hip, forcing you to remain in place and accept the assault on your bundle of nerves from his other hand.
“H-Harry, please, please please,” whines leave your spit slicked lips, and he just coos you to be quiet.
“Shh, baby. Just take it f’me.” his fingers speed up just a little bit more, as do your whines. “Now, now, do I need to silence you? You were doing so good, baby,” he says, colliding his fingertips with your cheek once again, making you go quiet. You shake your head ‘No’. He takes hold of your face, covering your mouth with his hand as he looks down into your eyes. “Then give me another, right now,” he demands, stilling his hips against yours but continuing to spell his name over your bundle of nerves over and over and over again. 
“F–fuck, Harry,” your body works into overdrive as you hit the peak of the mountain again; toppling over the edge of pleasure and coming down fast, headed right for rock bottom but not before Harry swiftly pulls himself out of you, and flipping you over onto your tummy. You gasp in surprise. He enters you again from behind, you reach back to grasp his hip, attempting to push him back. 
“Ah, ah, ah. I’m not done with you yet,” he growls in your ear. Grasping both of your arms, he folds them against your lower back in one hand.
“Y-you said, f-four,” you whine into the comforter.
“Did I?” he grins above you. “Hm, guess that makes me a liar too, doesn’t it?" he chuckles darkly, his free hand landing smack after smack on your ass. "C’mon pretty, give me number five.”
“H-harry, I–I ca-can’t.”
“You can, and you will,” he states matter of factly. Pulling your arms back with each thrust of his hips to hit every good angle inside your pussy. 
Your head is spinning, every nerve of yours is on fire. Sliding a hand down the expanse of your back, he presses his thumb into your ass, making you moan louder than you have all night. With every thrust of Harry’s hips it drives his thumb further into your ass making your eyes cross.
“G’na cum again, oh god, Harry. G’na cum!”
“Cum, baby. Give all of it to me,” your arousal comes in waves, squirting all over Harry’s abdomen and thighs. “Oh, yes, baby. There she is, such a dirty girl. C’mon, keep squirting all over this dick,” he groans. Leaning down to angle your head to smush his lips against yours. Your body is set ablaze; nobody has ever been able to set your senses on fire like this. Harry was your one in a million, and he finally saw that. He continues thrusting his hips, in and out, in and out milking every bit of your arousal from you that he can. Releasing your arms, he braces his hands near your head, biting down on your upper back as he fucks you into the mattress.
“W-where do you want my cum, baby?” He asks breathlessly, sinking his teeth back into your skin.
“I-inside. Fill me up, Harry,” you moan into the blanket beneath you, your knuckles turning white from your grip.
“Don't have to tell me twice,” he grunts, “G’na fill this pussy up with my babies. Make you all swollen for me. Then those boys will know who you belong to. You want that? Hm?” 
“F-Fuck, yes, Harry. Make me yours,” you cry out, fisting the comforter in your hands. He stills against you; filling you to the brim. “S-shit, Harry. So good, baby. So good.”
“Shit, pretty—you’re so good. Best I ever had, swear to god. Such a good girl,” he moans against your skin. “Perfect f’me.”
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The months of brooding just kept him away from what was his; you. Everything about you. The smile he fell in love with at first sight, but refused to admit it. The sounds of your laughter filling the air. The way your face reddened every time he kissed your cheek goodbye. The gleam in your eyes when you got particularly excited about something, especially if it was considered taboo. You were his dirty girl.
He was leaning against the counter as you two discussed everything. The one question you’d asked him that he didn’t really want to answer at the time. “Do you believe in love?” His response, “I’d like to, but it’s not for me,” and it broke your heart. He didn’t think he was deserving. He just wanted to run his business, and move on. He ignored every pang in his chest when he thought about you. But looking at you here and now, his arms wrapped around you as you stood in your hotel room shower, his heart has never felt more full.
“I think I have to change my answer to one of your previous questions.” He says, running his hands over your water slicked skin, rubbing circles on your hips with his thumbs.
“Mm, which one would that be?” You ask, turning your head to look up at him, cheek pressed against his chest, your fingers tangled in his wet curls.
“If I believe in love.”
“And?” You question, a sly smile forming on your lips.
“If I get to experience it with you, then I absolutely believe in love,” he leans down to softly kiss your lips, pulling you as close to him as possible. “But you were right about one thing,” he whispers as he pulls away for a split second, taking in the gigantic smile on your face. Your eyes searching for any sense of deception. 
There is none.
“What’s that?” you ask, bringing a hand down to cup his face; you run your thumb across his bottom lip.
“I didn’t do feelings. Not until you,” and he’s kissing you again.
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c/n: weeeeell. what do we think? 🙈 I know it says final up there but I think I may do a check in or two for our pair here. We shall see!! Thank you for coming along this journey with them! I hope you enjoyed!
please like &/or reblog if you enjoyed!
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Steve Harrington x Female!Reader
Jealousy always turns into teasing and banter between you and Steve with him seemingly always able to fluster you. You're finally able to get the best of him, catching him in a very compromising position.
18+ Only! Minors DNI!
Warnings: No use of Y/N. Pet names. Reader is a tease. Jealous reader. Sub-ish Steve. Semi-public sex. Oral(male receiving). Unprotected P in V. Creampie.
WC: 2.9K
It's a slow Saturday afternoon by Family Video standards.
You were glaring at Steve between one of the shelves instead of restocking.
He was shamelessly flirting with yet another customer instead of actually working as you looked on with annoyance.
Her blonde hair is pulled into a high ponytail, batting her eyelashes and twirling her bubble gum around her finger before placing it back between her glossed lips as his eyes watched her intently.
You grumbled as you turned back around, shoving the VHS tape clutched in your hand back to its place on the shelf as you heard her laughter followed by, “Oh Steve, you are so funny!”
“He's not that funny, Tiffany.” You mumbled under your breath. “He's used that same joke on at least ten other people this week.”
“What was that, Princess?” You jumped at the sound of his voice, as the rest of the tapes went flying out of your hands hitting the floor as you whirled around.
His elbow was propped against the shelf next to you, much closer than you anticipated when you turned.
“Fuck, Harrington.” You clutched your chest. “Warn someone next time.”
He chuckled as he bent down to pick up the fallen items.
“I thought you heard me walk up. It's not my fault.” He shrugged, standing back up to full height placing everything on the cart in front of him.
“All I heard was obnoxious laughter coming from that bimbo over there.” Looking away from him, missing the way his eyes lit up, chancing a glance at your ass before his tongue darted out licking his lips.
“Princess, if you're jealous just say so.” You scoffed, before he lowered his voice daring to step a little closer to you. “Then, maybe we could do something about it.”
Your breath hitched, but you couldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing what his words did to you so, you decided instead to play along. Give him a little taste of his own teasing.
“Steve?” You turned, inching closer to him. A flash of shock passed over his face when you placed your hands on his chest moving up to toy with the collar of his polo before looking up at him through your lashes, giving him your best doe eyes. You watched him gulp, releasing a sharp breath before replying.
“Yeah, princess?” Voice coming out low and soft. No hint of teasing unlike the way he usually hissed the nickname, hesitantly he placed his hands on your hips. His touch sent a spark through you, but you weren't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing.
You tucked your bottom lip between your teeth, as his eyes darted to your lips.
You stood on the tips of your toes, nose grazing his cheek, finally letting your lips ghost the shell of his ear as you spoke.
“In your dreams, big boy.” You grinned, pulling back and giggling as he released the hold he had on you. You didn't look back, pushing the cart down the aisle leaving him there to gawk after you.
You heard him groan and hiss under his breath before quickly darting toward the back into Keith's office.
You laughed again, finally getting the best of Steve Harrington.
You hummed, putting away the returns until you realized it had been at least ten minutes since he disappeared.
You smirked to yourself, steady steps leading to the back of the store stopping short when your hand landed on the knob, but it wouldn't budge.
“Steve, are you okay in there?” You sang, shit eating grin plastered across your face as you knocked.
“Give me a few, I'm fine.” It came muffled but his voice sounded a little strained.
“You sure about that?” You laughed out, suddenly getting a devious idea. You'd been pinning after him for months, though he was seemingly oblivious. Jealousy got the best of you, turning into anger fueled banter. Steve thought you hated him which was far from the truth.
Quickly jogging to the front, you locked the door, turning the closed sign around, and grabbing the spare key beside the register.
You didn't warn him, shoving the key into the lock as it clicked open. Pushing it slowly open, until he came into view sat behind the desk.
His head was thrown back, face flushed with his cheeks the prettiest shade of pink. He was panting, pouty lips parted into an “o”. Your eyes traveled down to where his pants and boxers were shoved down his thighs. His hand fisted around his thick cock, stroking furiously at his ample length.
He raised his head, locking eyes with you as the door slammed against the back wall catching his attention.
Shock overtook his features, as he sat up trying to hide himself under the desk, but it was far too late. You'd seen everything and the image of his massive dick would forever be seared into your brain.
“Fuck, what’re you doing back here?” He sputtered out, shoving his now aching cock down past your line of vision.
You didn't say anything, stepping further into the room, shutting the door behind you in case any customers tried to look through the front windows.
“Need some help with that, Stevie?” You smiled, devilish and sweet, cocking your head toward him.
“Wh-what?” He rushed out, brows furrowed. His chestnut locks stuck to his forehead from the thin sheen of sweat he'd accumulated.
“Do you need some help with that?” Enunciating each word more slowly, as if that would help his comprehension.
His mouth parted slightly, before snapping it shut. You'd managed to render him speechless.
You threw the key on the desk, as his eyes followed your movements.
Slowly, you shucked the family video vest off your shoulders, letting it hit the ground.
Your hands slowly drifting to the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head suddenly glad you had opted for your soft pink, lacy bra that morning.
When your eyes drift back to his, he's slack jawed eyes roving over any exposed skin he can find.
“You ok, Stevie?” Coming out a little snarky, knowing you finally have the upper hand, shaking your hips a little as you rounded the desk.
You planted your foot on the desk chair beside his thigh, pushing in until his lap slowly rolled back into view.
His cock was long, and thick with a ruddy tip making your mouth water at the sight. You'd heard the rumors but seeing it in person was altogether a different experience.
You didn't give him time to think, placing your hands on either side of the chair arms caging him in.
He sucks in a sharp breath when you close in, face to face. Noses barely grazing.
“You've got a really pretty cock, Stevie. Anyone ever tell you that?” You say, lips barely grazing his as he releases a soft whimper.
He shakes his head no, as your hand trails across his exposed abdomen. Fingertips carding through the sparse hair from his belly button leading down.
He took in a shuddered breath as you got closer to his aching need, kicking up at the very thought of you touching him.
“That's a real shame because you have a really pretty cock.” You said, wrapping your hand around as much of him that you could, eliciting another whimper from his parted lips.
“Oh fuck, you don't have to… shit…” he hissed, his eyes closing at the sensation.
“What if I want to? That, ok?” You breathed out.
He nodded furiously, as you moved your hand up his length, thumb collecting the precum at the top of his cock as you slid it effortlessly at the head back down.
“Think Tiffany would do this for you, Steve?” You asked, lowering yourself down, laying your head on his lap just inches from where he wanted you the most. You turned, planting a kiss to his thigh as he bucked upward.
You decided to take a little mercy on him, flattening your tongue running it up the underside of his shaft.
“Oh fuck…” He moaned out, taking him completely by surprise wrapping your soft, supple lips around his head sucking softly before taking him fully into your mouth.
You hum around his taste, taking the time to look up through your lashes at his fucked-out expression. He's never looked so beautifully wrecked as you begin to bob your head, stroking with your hand what you couldn't fit down your throat.
He reaches for the back of your head, fingers raking up, grasping the loose hair at the nape of your neck.
“Hey, hey” he coos. “You don't have to do all that, princess.” That cocky, Harrington demeanor breaking through, pulling off with a slight pop.
“Too much for you, big boy?” Flashing him a grin, flicking your tongue across his head. His hips suddenly canting upward, chasing your mouth.
“No, shit. It's great… I just thought…” He stuttered out.
“Use your words, Stevie.” You chuckled, rising over him, deftly reaching behind undoing your bra.
The straps began to slide down your arms as your bare chest comes into view. He sucked in a sharp breath, as he looks you over.
“Fuck Princess, you're perfect.” Licking his lips as he let his eyes trail over your breasts.
“Mmmm, yeah Stevie?” Your hands roamed over them making eye contact with him as you do; your nipples stiffen with the touch.
“I have an idea. I'll let you fuck me if you're a good boy. But you have to follow directions.”
He swallows again, nodding, “Yeah, I can do that. I like that idea.”
“Stay right there.” You tell him, as you begin to shimmy your underwear down your legs, leaving your skirt on. They pool at your feet as you step to the side leaving them behind.
No regard for Keith's stuff scattered across the desk, you push it out of the way, as some things scatter to the floor.
Steve has a perfect view of your ass from his position behind you making him groan.
You quickly turn around, hopping up on the desk, spreading your legs slowly for him to see your bare pussy already dripping with arousal.
“Fuck,” he hisses out, wrapping his hand back around his cock searching for a little relief.
“Nuh uh. Keep your hands off. Eyes on me.” You instruct. He does as he's told as your hand travels down. Your fingertips glide through your folds, gathering some slick before circling your clit and releasing a little exaggerated moan.
“Oh, Steve, it feels so good.” You watch through hooded eyes as his cock bobs on its own. He's gripping the chair arms so tight, his knuckles are turning white, and you've barely just started. You knew he wasn't going to last, now it was just a game to see how long it would take before he decides to fuck you senseless.
You toy with your clit a few more moments before dropping to your entrance. Having him watch you was sending your body into overdrive. You quickly inserted a finger, as he leaned forward trying to gain a better look.
“I bet your fingers would feel so much better than mine.” Arching your back, as you insert another. “Yours are so long, and thick. Mmmm… fuck.”
“Yeah? Want me to use my fingers?” Finally finding his voice, eyes trained to where yours keep disappearing inside your tight cunt.
You nod, continuing to fuck yourself, trying to remain in control but you were on the verge of being pushed over the edge already. You threw your head back, your lower belly tightening with each pass and brush of your hand.
You suddenly felt his hand wrap around your ankle, as your eyes shot open. He had made his way over to you, standing between your parted thighs. You were losing your resolve.
“I'm so close, Steve.” You breathed out. “Need you to fuck me.”
“Come on, Princess. You've got it. Keep fucking your fingers, come f’me.” He urged you on, as his hands took up residency on your thighs pushing them further apart.
“Mmmm, fuck Steve.” You whined out, that coil tightening. He eased his thumb up, suddenly grazing your clit. The sensation has your hips bucking upwards as you chase your high.
“Yeah? Keep going.” He sang out, trying not to think about the way his dick was aching, longing to be where your fingers are but he wanted to see you come undone.
Your legs start to tremble, as he begins drawing circles against your puffy clit. He ducks his head down to your chest, drawing a pert nipple into his mouth sucking harshly.
“Shit, Steve! I'm gonna cum.” You huffed out as that coil within you finally snapped, your back hitting the desk, legs closing around your hands as your cunt spasmed around your fingers.
“Fuck, Princess. That was so fucking hot.” He said, as you were trying to catch your breath. You grinned, raising your head slightly to look back at him.
He was lazily stroking his cock, as your thighs parted, beckoning him forward. Coming to slot himself back between your thighs he eased his ministrations momentarily.
“Let me grab a condom,” saying as he reached down into his pants. You gripped his shirt, pulling him forward as you wrapped your legs around his waist.
His cock nestled itself against your core as you both moaned out in unison.
“You don't have to. Fuck me, Steve!” You carded your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.
You watched his eyes go wide; pretty sure his brain was short circuiting at the thought.
“Fuck, are you sure?” Asking, as his hands drift down the plush of your thighs, dragging you more toward the edge of the desk.
“I'm sure, Stevie.” You nod, as he brings his hand between you, gripping himself to line up with your dripping entrance. You were aching, your first orgasm doing nothing to quell the need to be filled.
His head caught, causing your back to arch into him as he pushes ever so slowly into you. He was big, the stretch was already overwhelming you causing you to close your eyes, as your fingertips dig into his shoulders.
He watches the way he slowly disappears into you, the way your walls were sucking him could almost push him over the edge.
“Fuck, honey. So, tight.” He hisses out, as he finally pushes all the way in, gripping your hips with a bruising force.
The pinch of him filling you to the brim began to gradually subside into a dull ache.
You looked up at him through your lashes, gaining his attention from where the two of you were now connected.
“Steve, please move.” He nodded, nearly removing himself entirely before snapping his hips back into yours with ease.
“Oh fuck,” you hiss out, as he begins to set a pace that has you both moaning out.
The desk starts to move with each thrust, as papers, pens and loose items begin to fall from the edges.
The small office echoing with the sounds of skin slapping skin as his thrusts become harsher, faster trying to get you both there.
“Think you got one more, honey?” He asked, voice sugary sweet.
You nod, as he once again moves to toy with your clit.
“Come on honey, I wanna see ya’ fall apart on my cock.” He grunts out, trying to stave off his own release.
The pressure had been building, but his words sent you careening over the edge. It was a shock to you both as your cunt clamped down around him. You came with a scream of his name, locking your ankles behind his back, pulling him further into you.
He had no choice, the way your pussy was pulsing around him. He felt his balls tighten, thrusting once more harshly before he began painting your inner walls with his sticky spend.
“Fuck, honey.” He hissed, looking up at your blissed out expression. He moved his hand, tucking a piece of hair from your face before smashing his lips to yours. It was sweet, and slow. So different from the way he fucked you moments ago.
You kissed each other until you had to break apart for air, panting in each other's space as he spoke.
“Does this mean you don't hate me anymore?”
You giggled, lightly batting his shoulder.
“You're an idiot, Steve Harrington. I never hated you.”
“Well, I…” His train of thought was quickly interrupted when someone started banging on the door.
“Hey dinguses! You better not be doing what I think you're doing. I eat my lunch in there!” Robin blurted out as you two let out stifled giggles.
“Uh, sorry Rob. We'll clean up.” You sang out.
“Ewww! You're both lucky I love you so much!” You heard her groan, as she marched off.
He slid himself from you, as you released a small hiss. He softly rubbed your thigh before mumbling a quick apology.
You quickly gathered your clothes, putting them on as he straightened himself and the desk up.
“Hey, you want to go out after work? Grab a bite to eat? Movie at my place?” He asked, hand gravitating toward the back of his head, smoothing his hair down. A habit he had when he was nervous. “I mean, I know we may have done this a little backwards, but I like you. A lot.”
“So, Steve Harrington is asking me out on a date? I’ll think about it.” You teased, opening the door leaving him to once again gawk after you for the second time today.
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embersofhope-if · 2 days
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What interactive fiction would you recommend (besides this one)?
oh anon i follow over 150 if blogs let me get you some of my favorites😊 This is very long so all of them are under the cut🫶
some of these you'll probably already have heard of bc of how popular they are, but trust me, they're popular for a reason, lmao
these ones all have demos (if i messed up and some dont uh ignore that)
@infamous-if - "You're going to be a superstar, no matter what it takes." genuinely one of my favorites ifs (seven lawless my beloved please come back home the kids are asking whats taking so long)
@coeluvr - "You play as the only remaining member of the royal family of Vesphire; living in the home of the man who took away everything from you." another ive been obsessed with recently. i will forever love revenge stories (and my pookie helios)
@merrycrisis-if - "As a late 20-something year-old fresh from a recent break-up and struggling to pay rent in New York, life throws up more questions than answers."
@ramonag-if - "When your village is razed to the ground, you're left fleeing with an exiled prince. You can trust no one but each other. Your father's dying wish was to protect the prince, but can you really trust a man who was exiled from his kingdom?"
@nyehilismwriting / Project Hadea - "Set in a distant future, you play the role of an elite operative of Scytha Industries, a private contracting firm. ‘Contracting’, in this case, refers to anything from political assassinations, to private security, to bodyguard services."
@vapolis - "You’re a mercenary, gun for hire, assassin, information extractor, delivery person – call it what you want, because the people that hire you for your services don’t give much of a shit what you call yourself as long as you actually get them what they want."
@godsandvillains-if - "As the only metahuman with the ability to wield the powerful Chaos Magic, your very blood holds the answers to unlocking the secrets behind the control of time and space, but it has the drawback of being almost completely volatile."
@hvllowheart - "LAMB TO THE SLAUGHTER is a spy game where you take on the role of an agent under the codename Wraith, who up until two years ago was one of the best agents TERRA has ever made. now the agency returns into your life and pulls you back into the field as agents go missing by the dozens."
@eyesofshan-if - "Years ago, you were uprooted from the only home you had ever known and captured to be sold as a slave. Now, war is at your doorstep once more while you are left in a delicate position — as a commander of the country that invaded your homeland. While investigating a case of illegal human trafficking, you come across a plot that threatens to rip this tentative peace apart."
@apt502-if - "Moving from your small home to New York City was supposed to be a dream. You were supposed to start your new life with your long-distance partner and dive headfirst into full-on adulthood. Everything was supposed to be perfect. How can you not love being in your mid-twenties in the Big Apple?That is until your put-together, white collar partner dumps you the same day you arrive. Fun."
@acourtofserpents - "As the only human in the Kingdom of Faerie, you're no stranger to shining eyes that hold looks filled with hatred, lips painted in the color of forest fruits whispering your name, heads with pointed ears turning at your every step. Though you long for their approval, for a place amongst the wicked immortals, they remind you with every breath you take that as you came from dirt, to dirt you will return."
@softlyopulent-if - "All of King Adder’s children are a mystery to the common folk, but you—you are nothing but a ghost. A ghost, that spends eighteen years locked away in the deepest part of the palace, so that no eyes may lay upon you.And those that do—they do not treat you kindly.And when you are finally of age, at last, you are betrothed to the child of the King of a far away kingdom, to secure an alliance that your father has been seeking for years.And you are swept away to a place even more foreign than your own land, to be wed to a stranger that looks at you with contempt. To live in a kingdom of citizens that despise you. And perhaps, just perhaps, fight a war."
@heromaker-if - "Stories of heroes, legends and chosen ones are commonplace. But you'd never thought it was your child who would have to save the world from the Demon Lord's clutches."
@theabyssal - "In The Abyssal, you assume the control of a powerful deity that was betrayed by their fellow gods. Imprisoned against your will for all eternity, you had a long time to plan your revenge."
@milaswriting - "By birth, and association, you are one of the most famous people in the big city of Lehsa. Your father's the mayor, and you're from a bright, vibrant, bustling city... and yet, until recently, you didn't realise all the secrets yourself and the city held."
@zico-if - "You were supposed to be a sacrifice in order to bring an eldritch god to your realm, a sacrifice that was never supposed to live. Instead of dying and summoning the god intended, you find yourself face to face with an ancient being that was chained and locked away for the horrors they once committed."
@collegetennisoriginstory - "Experience the ups-and-downs of life as a freshman on the Cargill University varsity tennis team amongst a colorful cast of characters."
@disenchantedif - "You used to be a beacon of hope. Now they only know you as the failure, the Unchosen. Will you rise above them? Will you become better or far worse than they could ever imagine?"
@bouncyballcitadel - "Play as a first-year surgery intern at Citadel Health. Will you become the star intern and curry the favor of the chief? Or will you uncover Citadel Health’s secrets and break a story or two? This will be the best and worst year of your life. Don’t forget to save lives and break some hearts along the way."
@leoneliterary - "You play as a thief pressed into the employ of a mysterious nobleman. With the your life, the fate of your guild, and your honor on the line, you'll have to navigate the perils of the royal court and combat a more mystical threat. The story is set in Cusmo, the naturally fortified, desert capital of Hashind, and will showcase the much praised Upper Cusmo, the crime ridden Lower Cusmo, and much more."
@doriana-gray-games - "Play as your version of Sherlock Holmes in this romance detective game!"
@fallenlightsif - "You are the half-sibling of High General Ezrah Rhys and have lived the past twelve years of your life in Kesdon, the capital of Ebia. You've spent most of your time training and honing your skills for the future that awaits you. A future that is entirely your own."
@shai-manahan - "They call you Ripper. It’s a horrendous name to give to a detective like you, and definitely not one you chose for yourself, but you suppose it’s to be expected given your reputation for putting powerful people behind bars. Businesses feared you. The other cops hated you. Local gangs despised your entire existence. Yet, despite all of that, you remained untouched. Until that day, when all the lies and the deception and the foolish mistakes turned your life upside down."
@larkingame - "someone is after you. for over a decade and a half now, you’ve traveled up, down and across the country--running schemes and hunting fiends with your mentor, con-man-by-day, vampire-hunter-by-night, Wyatt Abrams--the prolific vampire slayer and the living descendant of Gregory Abrams, founder and prophet of the Abrams Family, the nomadic vampire-hunting cult that raised you--and was wiped out years ago. carrying the abrams name means also means carrying on it's enemies--but that isn't to say you haven't forged a couple of your own along the way. now, it seems someone is trying to make good on old threats and promises. they've placed a bounty on your head. so you and wyatt do what you do best: you run away. to some little town, out nevada ways, where the title of town preacher is unexpectedly thrust upon you--bringing back years of trauma you thought long tucked away."
@evertidings - "you are a bounty hunter. responsible for taking in rogue supernaturals, you work for IAOS—the international agency of supernaturals—where, alongside your best friend and partner, you two have quickly become the best hunting duo of the branch. after a particularly tricky hunt, you brief your boss, Caine Atheron, and come back to work the next day to find that he has mysteriously disappeared overnight, the company is now in the hands of his best friend, Sebastian Mai. and though no one else seems to question it, something tells you that there's more to the story."
@rotten-games - Regrets Of The Traitor: "You are the Ruler of Hadaria after killing the previous Queens and betraying all who once trusted you. Sat upon the throne with all the power available to you, one would be forgiven for believing you finished with your quest. With a strange figure in your dreams speaking vague prophecies of magical artifacts, a mysterious cult moving into the city, and a group intent on unseating you from your place, perhaps you’re way in over your head for a farmer’s kid. City of Immortals: "You follow a pair of siblings worlds apart as they get accustomed to their new realities in two very different worlds. One trapped in an unnatural desert wasteland where every resource has a scarcity, not knowing if they’ll be the only one left when everything turns to dust, the other working as a private investigator in a sprawling underground metropolis of the undying. Each not knowing the other is alive, will they unravel the mysteries that somehow connect their two new homes?"
@shepherds-of-haven - "Shepherds of Haven is a dark fantasy interactive fiction game. In it, you play as a Mage living in a world where magic is outlawed and your people—those possessing supernatural powers—are oppressed and reviled. The world is ruled by humans who believe in science, technology, and industry: at best, you and your kind are nothing more than a fairytale, and at worst you are the state’s greatest threat."
@someoneverypretty-world - "As a child, growing up in the slums of Hvinir without any guardians, you believed you would not live to see 30. Until Haven, a thief guild, took you in and taught you how to survive. Facing hardships, the guild leader tasks you to sneak into the castle with the mission to take."
@northern-passage - "The Northern Passage is an 18+ horror fantasy CYOA, where you play as a hunter sent up north to investigate a series of missing people along the border of your home country and in the port cities of the Blackwater. Working with your handler, Lea, you will travel north and discover that things are far worse than you ever could have imagined, and that there is something powerful lurking out in the deep, dark sea…"
@thedecoy-if - "♔ The Decoy is a dark fantasy that follows you, a 21st century normal human, kidnapped to an alternate magical universe to play the part of the missing heir to a powerful throne...who also happens to be your doppelgänger. ♔"
@ripperplague - "You are a doctor, a prodigy in hiding. Deep in the underbelly of Valeris, you hide among the shadows. You work hard to wring the blood stains off your palms, your face...your soul. Redemption and revenge are parallel goals, the flames of rage and disgust mingling. How could anyone ever love you?"
These ones dont have a demo yet, but im still absolutely obsessed
@pavedinashes-if - "You're only 20 when suddenly your life goes bam! Throwing you into a whole new city, a different country even. Wasn't part of the plan, but you know how life loves to mess with plans. People happened, stuff happened, and suddenly you're on the move. The new chapter ahead? Buckle up, 'cause it's not gonna be all sunshine and rainbows. And guess what? Your step-mom? Yeah, she's right there in the same city. She's always had this knack for trying to steer your ship, like every decision's a GPS checkpoint. But hey, there's this one thing that's never let you down—your skateboard. It's like the buddy that's been with you through thick and thin, the one that never bails. Among all this craziness it's like your anchor. So, the big question is—can you break out of the loop you got in? Find your place in the world and restart or lose yourself in temptation? Time to find out."
@riptide-if - "Your dad has always said you swim as if your were born to be in the water; the rest of your family has always said that he is the whole reason you turned out like that. So, it's not really a surprise when you had used all the money you got for your 7th birthday to buy a surfboard. And even less of a surprise when you started joining small surf competitions by the time you were 10, later followed by bigger competitions. It seems you are the only one surprised when it turns out you're able to compete in the World Surfer's League's Ultimate Tournament Tour*. Thrown into a mix of fellow surfing prodigies, rookies, and pros, do you really have what it takes to win?"
@weepinwriter - "You are inmate No. 1441, incarcerated in Tartarus, the most notorious prison on the continent. You find yourself imprisoned for a crime that you do not remember committing, leaving you in a state of uncertainty about your own identity and purpose. The first memory you have is awakening to the sensation of a gun being shoved into your mouth."
@whatawaitsus - "Despite being one of the most expensive schools in the nation, nothing particularly interesting has happened at the school in the nine years you've been here— aside from the occasional accidental possession caused by a ghost or the common room getting flooded after a nixie gets too frustrated over their homework. That is until students start to go missing."
@evermount - "Blue-suited guards stand in every corner, but they're no threat—you're under threat. And this is how you keep safe. It's necessary; the council said so themselves. Under no circumstances shall Evermount be left, ever. So, no one has, and no one intends to. Why would you? It's peaceful—you're at peace. You have your spouse, and you have your house; everyone's happy. This is all you've ever known."
@forsakensword-if - "When the Deathless, an Ancient Evil that hasn’t been seen in over two million years, returns to Earth, it threatens the extremely precarious peace that has settled between the warring factions of Heaven and Hell. God, in an effort to protect Humanity from the consequences of a war between the Angels and Demons, sends Heaven’s best warriors to banish the Deathless once more. When that ultimately fails, it is declared that God’s Sworn Sword and Heaven’s Chief Angel will be charged with finding a way to destroy the Deathless once and for all. That Angel is you. The Archangel Michael."
@velena-if - "You wake up in a dark, cold place with no memories of yourself, save for one: the memory of your death. It becomes clear soon enough that you are in the Nav, the domain of the goddess of death, Morana, and the sanctuary of all the evil spirits and monsters. For you, Nav will be the place where your life changes forever."
@countdown-if - "Three months ago, life took a sharp turn. Your mother found herself entangled in a situation so bad, she couldn't dig her way out of it, like usual. This time, the hole was way too deep. She needed help, and the only people capable of aiding her were the same ones she had vowed never to allow back into her life, let alone introduce to you and your younger sibling. Who were they? Your grandparents—a powerful and well-established duo. In short, they did manage to help your mother back on her feet, but not without strings attached—never without strings. Now, you're facing a senior year in a private school, fully funded by none other than grandma and grandpa, dearest. The only task at hand: do what your mother couldn't—graduate."
@dropout-if - "This is your first summer home since you began studying in Stanford. That is what everyone thinks. This is your first summer home since you dropped out of college, thus becoming the biggest disappointment in your neighborhood. That is what only you know. "
@stonewall-if - "Stonewall Military Academy: the most brutal, merciless, and unforgiving boarding school in the country. Most recruits either desert or die by the end of their first year. It is where the fiercest and deadliest killers are trained and molded to be the military's steel fist. And it is not for the faint of heart."
@viperdove-if - "You are the Dove, the heir to one of the most powerful crime families in your country. The grip your family--your father--has on their side of the land is tight, and now that you've reached adulthood it's time for you to be fully absorbed into the machinations of gang warfare. That means opium, mercenaries, assassinations. In this ancient world, blood moves people just as much as money does."
@fallen-if - "You are an individual that has been known by many aliases over the years. Child of the dawn, the original sinner, star of the morning. But no matter the name, your identity remains the same. You are the one that defied the heavens, the one that cast aside the shackles of tradition and broke free from the constraints of the divine. You are Lucifer Morningstar - The Fallen Angel. "
@maboroshi-if - "Maboroshi is an Interactive Fiction Game based in the world of Naruto, however, all events within the story span during the end of the First Shinobi War and the beginning of the Second Shinobi War."
@greatprotector-if - "Forced out of your family's farm against your will, you are now an ocean away from home, and you have somehow been chosen to be the main protector of the heir to some kingdom you’ve hardly even heard of. The spot's only open because the former protector died of old age, so that's probably a good indicator that it won't be as strenuous as it sounds. But despite that, you pour yourself into your work. You can't help it. You feel safer decked out in armour, and you like having something you're trusted to look after. Protect some royalty, cover all your blind spots, and try not to worry about all you've left behind."
@retribution-if - "Retribution, He Cries is a revenge story set in the Dark Ages of the fictional world of [REDACTED] and other realms."
@thescarsilivewith-if - "You were a kind monarch once. After your mother’s brutal reign, you thought your people needed respite. Evidently, they didn’t think the same since their bloodthirst only increased. Three years after your coronation, your mother’s favourite consort dethroned you with the army and the clergy’s support. As you fled from the palace together with your spouse, from an arranged marriage celebrated only three months earlier, you were found by slavers. You managed to save your spouse but not yourself. Four years later, your spouse finds you, though you’re not the same person they knew. You are not changed in spirit alone, however, for your magic grew in your captivity and now you’re unbound. When the crown chose you as its owner, you wanted peace for your kingdom. Now the only thing you crave is revenge."
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kaiser1ns · 3 days
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𝗦𝗖𝗥𝗢𝗟𝗟 𝗢𝗡𝗘 一 𝗢𝗡𝗘'𝗦 𝗗𝗨𝗧𝗬
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𝗶𝘁𝗼𝘀𝗵𝗶 𝘀𝗮𝗲 𝘅 𝗳𝗲𝗺!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿
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SERIES MASTERLIST 。⁠.゚⁠+⁠ NEXT SCROLL
╹synopsis :: a skilled samurai had the task to assassinate one of the four landlord's daughter but things went in another direction when his parents decided to marry him off to her.
╹contents :: 2,4k words, historical!au, arranged mirage!au ; mentions of blood, murder, assassination ; symbolism with the names. read a/n at the end for more information.
╹notes :: first chapter of the itoshi sae fanfic, hope you like it ! this fanfic will have slow updates !
╹taglist :: @wirednintkoko @i-love-frensh-fries @steleir @beidousbubz @aoiropetal @raphsimp @rroxii @multi-101 @c4ttheart
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Holding his two metal swords, slashing the men's throats as their bodies dropped dead onto the brown tatami mats as now they began to acquire a red color. It's his duty as one of the highest ranked samurai to keep the Shogunate territory all safe and sound, leaving no trace of his or anyone else's deeds. Another job done with even more cleaning afterwards. He sighed heavily, as he tore a cloth from the dead man's robe to wipe the blood from his katana.
"You've got some nice finishing moves, Itoshi-dono." said an unknown voice behind the man who put away his weapons and removed the samurai mask and helmet that covered his face. Scarlet hair and blue-green eyes with underlashes, flashed in the dark room, his gaze was empty as if he had no soul — and by the way he just killed these people, he was heartless too.
"I am not doing this only for the honorary, work is work and it has to be done." the redhead said, stepping outside the room and closing it with the sliding door, turning around to look at the man, "Have someone clean this mess, I have to report to the Shogun." his tone carried this not as a message but an order as he walked past them, letting them do the dirty work.
Going in the direction of the river, in its ridge to cleanse himself from yet again another sin, but no matter how many times he washes his hands, clothes or swords — the stains of the endless suffering, the voices of the innocent and not, cannot be erased. They will always be a part of him, as long as he is alive.
Itoshi Sae was the name of the samurai, a young man who served the Shogunate's secret assassination group but he was also part of the main army holding a very high ranking and status because he was the firstborn from the nobel Itoshi Family.
The Itoshi clan is the most powerful and most important of all four great clans that dominated Japanese politics — the other three are the Tsurukawa, the Mikage, and the Hiori families, who also had their representative heirs.
The moonlight danced on the surface of the water, casting an ethereal glow reflecting in his eyes. Quite the contrast with the vivid light full of life, and his dull gaze that lacked brightness and vitality. He reached the riverbank, stopping in one place to listen to the gentle lapping of the water against the shore, a soothing sound for his troubled mind.
With deep breath he began to remove his blood-stained armor, letting it fall to the ground causing a loud noise from the weight. Leaving him only with his usual attire that consisted of a black kimono, white hakama and dark blue haori jacket with white wisteria flower on the back - the Itoshi clan symbol of devotion, longevity and resilience.
Sae quickly washed whatever he could, as he put it on again and set off again for the Shogunate's residence in a nearby town. And once he got there he received a warm welcome from the maids but he paid them no mind, he didn't care if there was someone to welcome him or not, the boy just wanted the earned money from his majesty — Ego Jinpachi, an ambitious and overly confident ruler but beneath that facade, is something even more sinister as he is extremely egotistical, cruel, and self-serving man who does not tolerate traitors and liars, and that's why people like Itoshi Sae are recruited into his secret organization.
"You are here earlier than expected," the Shogunate said taking a bite of his food, while the samurai got on the floor and bowed "I'm done with what you needed me for, they are dead and soon there will be no evidence for their lives." he replied with a tone of obedience, maintaining a composed demeanor, his thoughts hidden behind his mask.
"There's nothing you can't do, always with excellent and quick performance." the black haired answered "Now, a letter from your family came, saying it was urgent for you to check. But before that, come with me, I have another task specifically for you." Both men stood up and walked away from the big dining hall, going to the Shogunate personal library, that was kept away from anny prying eyes. It was a dark place, as dark as the Shogunate secret with only a few candles to lit up and to provide visibility.
"I need you to kill the daughter of the Tsurukawa clan. You know, the young princess who talks bad about me and what I do behind doors. I have eyes and ears everywhere. My men, including me, think she is crazy because no woman has the right to talk like this and most importantly about the one who feeds them.” The samurai just listened, observing the Shogun’s body language and tone of speaking and how the word kill came out so easily from his mouth. Even though he harbored no personal attachment to his targets, the idea of killing another noble for the sake of political power wasn't unheard of but he knew better than anyone not to question the orders of his superior.
But why exactly Y/N of the Tsurukawa Family? She wasn't the only one who talked about his wrong doings but she was alive, unlike others. Sae won't deny that he had know her for most of his live as they both were the firstborns and same age — with the only difference being that the lady was an only child and the redhead had a little brother — but he definitely heard her name mentioned when there was talk of the Shogun and some kind of revolution against him. That woman spoke nonsense left and right — or at least ran nonsense for all he cared, only those like Itoshi Sae knew what was going on behind the closed doors of the empire. That's a concern for another day.
"As you wish, my lord," Sae responded with a shallow bow, his voice trailed with no emotion. "Consider it done."
The Shogunate nodded, a murderous look in his eyes that seems to be second nature to him. "Oh, and more thing Itoshi, you will have one whole year to do this, starting from next week with the first cherry blossomed tree." he said, tone monotone like it was that normal to talk about assassination "This will be your longest mission and if you don't complete it by next spring you know what awaits you. So don't make me do the unthinkable. Now you are dismissed."
With a nod, the young man took his leave, thinking about what the Shogun just ordered him to do — to kill Tsurukawa Y/N until the next spring — and despite her outspokenness and rebellious nature, very unusual behavior for a woman at that, she had always been there, next to him on official dinners, paintings or playing together with wooden swords as kids. And now she had to be gone.
As he departed from Ego's dinner time with other important politicians, his thoughts drifted back to the letter from his family, he hasn't been home for months, and apparently now is the time to do so. Arriving at his quarters in the rooms of the residence, Sae retrieved the manuscript letter, the elegant calligraphy of his family's crest a stark contrast to the bloodstains that still lingered on his hands. Without further ado, he untied the thread and the scroll unfolded.
Itoshi Sae, from the Itoshi Family. Please come home as soon as possible, by the time you read this letter no more than three days will have passed, and it will be one more day till you return. The matter requires your presence as the future head of the family, so please get home immediately.
Could Rin be causing trouble again? No, it shouldn't be that. Someone must have gotten sick or died, if they seek him physically. Maybe another idiot wants to fight him? The last time he fought someone from another lower clan or a drunkard, things didn't end very well. What could possibly be happening, he didn't care about being the next head, but had to pretend for the sake of his parents' honor. With a heavy and hopeless sigh, he tucked the letter into his cloak. He will think about it tomorrow morning when he leaves.
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The morning is wiser than the night as old people tend to say, something new and exciting will await anybody but sometimes it's okay to look in the past that the night helds. Memories flooded his thoughts as he traversed familiar paths, the small pond with fish or the wooden puppets that he practiced on, reminiscing about the carefree days of his childhood before his life became entangled with the the dark side of the political power and hierarchy be it assassination, stealing important information and artifacts, weapons, you name it - he's done it.
Upon reaching the grand gates of his family's house, the samurai was greeted by the sincere smiles of his servants. "Welcome home, Itoshi Sae-sama." The people in front of whom he grew up, and they watched as he became a handsome and strong man, started to welcome and praise him. Their hushed whispers and furtive glances only deepened his sense of curiosity — something big is going to happen, and just hoped it wasn't something that important to involve him.
As he stepped into the ancestral home, entering the main hall, the samurai's eyes met those of his parents, they were happy to finally see their son — the reason of their pride and joy. There was silence as he entered, kneeling on the floor with the tops of the feet flat against the ground, sitting back on his heels, and bowing deeply from the waist with the hands placed palms down on the thighs or folded in front, looking around carefully — his father and mother were there, as well as his younger brother Rin, who was sitting next to their father. Sae's gaze fell upon a girl, an unfamiliar persona. New maid, perhaps? He remembered how his mother was very tired of doing garden work so maybe they hired someone.
Her face hid behind the golden fan she was holding and the only uncovered part was her e/c eyes as she also looked at him. Adorned in a beautiful red kimono, probably made of the most luxurious and finest silk with white crane and floral patterns with gold threads, the greenish obi was intricately tied on her waist. The flowing, wide sleeves accentuated her gracefulness, defining her silhouette with elegance, the Shimada styled hair into a large, elaborate bun on top of the head, decorated with golden comb, as she stood beside his mother.
His gaze did not miss every single detail even for a second, but this is very strange because that's not a worker's outfit. Could this be Rin's fiancé? He is two years younger than Sae and had time till marriage and the letter hadn't mentioned the true reason for his urgent return.
Oh ...
The realisation hit him like a swift cut from his most sharpest katana — marriage. The girl infront of him, is the bride. Oh sweet, Bishamonten, giving another battle to his fortune warrior. Sae's father, observing his son's reaction, cleared his throat to gain his attention. "Sae, we have summoned you here today to discuss an important matter concerning your future and the prosperity of our family." His words echoing with calming tone, "As you know, our family's honor is of utmost importance to us. It is with great consideration that we have arranged a mirage for you." He paused, allowing the weights of his words to sink in before continuing, "And to continue our legacy and alliances with the Tsurukawa Family."
He tried to be calm, to keep his composure, but his facial expression and his widened eyes gave it away. The Tsurukawa Family, the same family Ego ordered him to assassinate their heir. There's no way that's possible, the Gods above can't play such a joke on him right now.
"We understand that this may come as a surprise to you, but rest assured, it is a decision made with the utmost care and consideration for your well-being." He gestured towards the other feminine figure beside his wife, indicating the girl to put down her fan, revealing her full face. That was Tsurukawa Y/N — the young lady from the second clan in power, the same girl that will be killed by his own hands, the woman who will become his wife. It wasn't a dream, it was a nightmare.
"As your father, it is my duty to ensure that you are provided for and that our family thrives for generations to come. This marriage is a part of that responsibility," he explained, his tone gentle yet firm concluded with a reassuring nod, his eyes going to his elder son and soon daughter-in-law.
"When is the wedding?" the young samurai finally spoke up, his mind was messy, it was full of countless thoughts and plans of how this is going to work. He wanted his targets close, but not that close.
"Tomorrow," his father replied, his voice carrying a hint of sympathy for the shock his son was experiencing. "We knew that you won't come home if we said what is it for, so take it as a gift from Amaterasu."
Sae felt a knot tighten in his stomach. Tomorrow? It seemed impossible to prepare himself mentally for such a significant event in such a short time. Yet, as a samurai, he was trained to adapt to any situation. "I understand, Father," he managed to say, though his voice wavered slightly.
His father got up and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Sae nodded his head slowly. The family left the room, leaving him alone with his soon-to-be wife, he couldn't help but feel at unease — he never had any problems about his missions. This marriage wasn't just about securing alliances or ensuring the family's prosperity — it was God's plan, a forsaken and unfortunate planning with the most unexpected twist.
Turning to face Y/N as she waved her fan grinning so innocently at him, her eyes sparkled with adoration, a slight blush painted on her face like a freshly ripe peach from his mother's garden. Sae however, maintained his stoic demeanor, his eyes cold and distant, forcing a polite smile, though there was nothing to be smiling about.
"Don't get the wrong idea, Y/N. This marriage is just a formality, a transaction on paper. There's no need for us to pretend otherwise." he said, his voice letting her know that he isn't interested in this fiasco, or in her, for now. "So don't expect much." As he spoke, the weight of his words hung in the air, casting a shadow over any hope she might have held onto.
Y/N's heart sank when she saw how cold he had become, but she refused to show any sign of weakness. With a flick of her fan, she masked her disappointment behind a facade of indifference, determined to prove him wrong, even if it meant breaking through his icy exterior one layer at a time. She would not give up on the hope that someday, just maybe, he would see her not as a mere transaction or an old friend, but as something more.
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江戸散歩 [EDO SANPO]
• The meaning behind the Tsurukawa [鶴川] surname is 鶴 - crane and 川 - river. In Japan, the crane, or tsuru, is a national treasure and is considered the bird of happiness. It is depicted in art, literature, and mythology as a symbol of honor, good fortune, loyalty, and longevity. So to be free as a bird, and as calm but rebellious as the water.
• In Edo period Japan, the color red on clothes signified youth and glamour as well mad, passionate love that is all consuming but fleeting so is chosen. And the green which represents new beginnings and good fortune. So they are chosen for Y/N's kimono.
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©2024 kaiser1ns do not copy, repost or modify my work.
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fartfather · 2 days
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(Un)Welcome Problem pt.1
Kento Nanami x fem!reader
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
Word count: 3.1k
Summary: Kento Nanami finds his daily schedule disrupted when you start frequenting his favorite bakery. Initially annoyed, Kento begins to find himself increasingly drawn to you. Despite his constant attempts to blame you for his disrupted routine, he finds himself curious and anticipating every next encounter.
Info: MDNI 18+ This part is sfw, but I cannot say the same about the next parts so please keep that in mind, strangers to lovers, I literally wrote the beginning of this in the shower so it may not be my best work asdlknfkjen
˚₊ · »-♡→ Also check out my other JJK work Audience of One pt.1
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Kento Nanami thrived from his routines.
That’s why you were a problem.
It first started when you moved to Tokyo for work. You were offered a position in a big money law firm. The type of position that pays you so much you’d be a fool to turn it down. And that fool, you were not.
You had moved out to the big city to get away from your boring town and annoying family, and what a blessing it was that you were paid to do it.
On your first day of work, you woke up bright and early to make the commute to your new job. You made sure to also give yourself enough time to get something from that cute bakery you saw, that was down the street from your apartment. You had a feeling you were going to need the extra fuel to get through the day.
Once you were dressed in your professional attire, you fed your cat, and skipped out the door.
You took your time to take in your surroundings on your short walk to the bakery. It was early enough that the city wasn't awake yet. The sun had barely fully risen, and you loved how peaceful the walk was.
The smell of fresh bread and coffee instantly hit you when you opened the door. You looked around it in awe and nodded at the polite cashier who greeted you. The display case had all sorts of sweets, making your mouth water.
Looking up at the menu, you took your time perusing all the options they had. There wasn't anyone else in in the bakery, after all.
Did you want pumpkin bread or a blueberry muffin?
You were so wrapped up in your thoughts that you didn’t notice a customer entering the bakery. Not just any customer. Kento.
But, boy, did he notice you.
He stopped in his tracks and his eyes narrowed when he saw you standing at the counter.
What the fuck were you doing here?
His face quickly turned into a scowl as he got into line behind you.
He almost scoffed out loud.
Line.
In a bakery.
This early in the morning.
Over three years of coming to this bakery at the same time every day he had never once seen another person before him.
That was why he chose it. He knew that at this hour, most people were barely waking up. And even the people who were already dressed and out the door, wouldn’t turn to a little hole in the wall like this one.
But here you were.
Ruining his routine.
And, God, he hated it.
If that wasn’t bad enough, you were also being rude! There was a line behind you and you were taking your sweet time reading the menu. Well, maybe not a line, one person hardly constituted a line. But Kento couldn't care less.
He crossed his arms, and looked down his nose at you. His eyes bore holes in the back of your head as he looked back and forth from you and the cashier.
Never mind the fact that you didn’t realize Kento was there. You were too caught up in deciding whether you should get the pumpkin bread or a blueberry muffin, but you wanted to be adventurous.
What if you went with the chocolate croissant?
It wasn’t until Kento cleared his throat in annoyance when you snapped out of your thoughts and turned to look at him.
“Oh- I’m so sorry, you can go ahead of me. I’m not sure what I want yet.” You gave him an apologetic smile and gestured for him to take your spot.
Oh.
Kento raised an eyebrow at your words, taken aback by your kindness. He wasn't even sure what to say. It was his intention to intimidate you from further disturbing his routine. But now he felt like an idiot.
Because of course you weren’t screwing with his routine on purpose, but you were also a nice person. It also helped that your wide, innocent eyes instantly had his mind going blank. But he wouldn’t admit that.
You were a complete and total inconvenience, and you were throwing a wrench in his day. He wanted to paint you out to be the villain in his tragic tale, yet when he looked at your sweet face he just simply couldn’t.
The words came out of his mouth before he knew what he was saying, “It’s okay, I don’t mind waiting,” Lie.
You smiled, oblivious to his internal turmoil and he cursed himself. "Alright," You hummed.
You went back to studying the options, now trying to choose between the croissant or a muffin.
Kento didn't understand the indecision.
There were only a couple items on the menu and he always got the same thing. He was already aware of all the best options.
So he decided to intervene, hoping it would speed up your thought process. "The blueberry muffins are delicious."
The cashier nodded in agreement and you turned to look at Kento, eyes shining, "Really?"
He nodded and you turned back to the cashier. "Okay, I'll have a blueberry muffin and a plain medium coffee, please!"
You thanked them both and waited for your order.
Kento didn’t know what to do next. His whole plan was to scare you off, make sure you never interrupt his routine again, but you seemed nice. And you weren't exactly the worst person to be behind in line.
Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he moved up to the cashier and ordered his usual.
After your order was done, you grabbed yours and headed for the door. You waved to Kento before leaving.
He had a feeling that would be the first of many run-ins.
And he was right.
Every goddamn morning, to be exact.
For weeks, you would arrive just a few minutes before him. And the same thing would happen. He would wait behind you, and try not to be bothered by your presence.
He failed, obviously.
He was annoyed with you.
But now, his annoyance stemmed from a different source.
At first, it was the fact that you had disturbed his perfect routine. But now, it was because you were taking over his thoughts. He found himself almost looking forward to the morning encounters, and he was starting to feel a little possessive. Not in an obsession way, of course, more like in the way that he considered the bakery his.
You were his. Every morning, for only a few silent minutes. But those moments were his.
You had become a problem without even realizing it. Hell- he almost didn’t realize it.
But this all became very evident to Kento when one morning you weren't there before him. You weren't there at all.
Just when he was starting to accept you as a new addition in his routine.
You went ahead and fucked it up again.
Kento didn’t realize just how used to your presence he had gotten. He felt uneasy, and couldn’t seem to shake the feeling.
It felt like there was a pit in his stomach the entire day.
He couldn’t concentrate on anything, and Gojo had noticed.
Gojo had asked him what was wrong, and Kento couldn't bring himself to lie. He just shook his head and sighed.
Maybe it would help to get it off his chest.
He explained from the beginning. About his routine, the bakery, and you... and your stupidly cute face. Of course he didn’t voice that last part, but it did flash in his mind briefly.
Then he got to the events of this morning, your unexpected absence. Obsession Concern was evident in his voice as he listed the possibilities regarding the lack of your presence.
Maybe you had left town, or moved. Perhaps you were sick, or worse- dead!
He knew his concerns were unreasonable.
You could be doing any number of things, and there should be no reason for him to think about it this much.
Gojo was quiet as he listened to his friend explain his problems. He was quiet for so long, Kento thought he had fallen asleep.
Wouldn't be the first time he's done that.
He was just about to snap at Gojo, when the man finally spoke up. "You should just ask her."
Kento scoffed, "I don't have her number, nor do I know where she lives." rolling his eyes he continued, "Plus, why would I bother talking to her now? We keep to ourselves every morning, there's no reason to make conversation."
He mulled the thought of asking you tomorrow. But then he realized.
What if you weren't there tomorrow either?
No.
That wouldn't do.
He couldn't handle another day without you... because he got used to you being a part of his routine.
Yes. That was why.
The rest of the day dragged on. Kento couldn't concentrate on any of his work.
You had wormed your way into his brain, and you were biting away, inch by inch like he was a juicy red apple.
Kento Nanami did not pine. He was a busy man with a busy schedule.
He had no time to pine.
Especially not over someone as insignificant as a fellow customer he had started sharing his morning with.
Someone who he didn't even know their goddamn name!
Kento had gone home, ate his dinner, and got ready for bed. He did his nightly routine, and then proceeded to lay awake staring at the ceiling for a few hours.
His mind was plagued with thoughts of you.
There you go again! Ruining his routine.
He should have been asleep almost two hours ago. He had to be up in five.
He didn't understand why the thought of seeing you in the morning affected him so much. Or more so- the thought of not seeing you.
He just didn't like the uncertainty.
Kento was a man of order and control.
That's what it was... right?
He just didn't like the fact that you threw him off his routine, yet again.
You were an annoying thorn in his ass, and he was angry.
Kento was just an upset, tired man.
There was no way his emotions were rooted in anything other than the disruption of his routine.
The next morning rolled around and life moved on like usual. You woke up early, got dressed, fed your cat, and skipped out the door.
Kento was awake.
Kento was showered.
Kento was dressed.
Kento was in the kitchen eating his breakfast.
And then Kento was out the door.
When he walked into the small bakery his heart nearly stopped when he saw you there.
He was frozen.
He didn't know what to do.
He was just happy that you were here.
Happy?
No.
Relieved.
Yes, that was the word he was looking for.
And apparently he wasn't the only one curious about your absence, as when he walked in he overheard the cashier ask about yesterday’s whereabouts in a friendly tone.
See, his concern wasn't unwarranted.
"Oh, I had a small cold. But, I'm much better now!" You laughed, and the sound filled Kento's ears.
He felt warm.
He felt fuzzy.
Those feelings made him scowl and hoped that didn’t mean he was catching your cold.
He didn't stop to ponder deeper into these feelings, he simply continued forward to stand behind you.
And just like that, his routine had gone back to normal.
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
A few days had passed, and you were there every morning like clockwork.
Kento's mood was significantly lighter and his work had improved.
Gojo had also noticed this.
Gojo was very observant.
Despite that silly blindfold he always wore.
Gojo was also an annoying piece of shit.
So of course, he had to pester Kento about it.
He had to know what had caused the sudden change in his friend's demeanor.
"Nanami!" Gojo whined, "I'm so bored, tell me something exciting!"
"There is nothing exciting to tell," Kento said flatly, "And, if I did, you'd never shut up about it."
"Come on! I'm just curious." Gojo huffed and flopped back onto his chair, crossing his arms like a child, "Did you ask your little crush where she was?"
"Crush?" Kento scoffed, "Don't be ridiculous, Satoru."
Gojo shrugged and leaned back in his chair. He knew to pick his battles with Kento.
He decided not to press the issue further, but he was determined to get it out of him eventually.
Glaring into Gojo, Kento got up from his seat and spun to exit. Not before turning over his shoulder and reprimanding the white haired imp, "I'm going to go help the first years with some training, and you're never going to bring this up again. Got it?"
Gojo gave a mock salute and smirked.
Kento was going to punch him.
He shook his head and turned on his heel, heading out the door. Training the first years was just the distraction he needed.
But, this distraction only lasted for so long.
When Kento arrived at his apartment later that evening, he was still thinking about you.
It was driving him mad.
He was a simple man.
A man with a routine.
And now that routine had been interrupted.
He hated you for it!
You had disrupted the delicate balance of his life, and it was driving him insane.
The fact that you had no idea that your very existence was a problem was the worst part.
Your ignorance was a constant annoyance.
But, he couldn't help but wonder if you ever thought about him throughout your day.
Probably not.
Why would you?
You barely knew each other.
Even after weeks of the same interactions every morning, you both had yet to speak. If they could even be called interactions. It was more so Kento ogling observing you from behind, taking note of the things you wore, and which outfits he thought looked best on you. In a strictly blasé- pass the time- way, of course.
All while you gave him the occasional glace when waiting for your order.
You never initiated conversation, and you never questioned his silence.
The most interaction you two had was when he told you to get the blueberry muffin that first time. And even that didn't count as conversation.
So no, you probably didn't think about him throughout your day.
But Kento thought about you.
You were slowly becoming the first thing he thought about when he woke up, and the last thing before he drifted off to sleep.
He would lay awake for sometimes hours at night, his mind wandering, wondering what you were doing, how your day was, why you chose his bakery? And most of all- who the hell were you?
This had become his new routine.
You had become his new routine.
And he hated it.
So, naturally, Kento had come to the conclusion that you were his problem- It was easier that way.
To paint you as the villain, and blame his sleepless nights and unproductive days all on you.
Even though deep down, he knew it not to be true.
Which is why it was confusing for him the next morning when you changed his routine, yet again- he wasn't mad. Instead he was amused.
Kento walked into the coffee shop same time as always, but was surprised to see you looking up at the menu, just like you had been that first day.
It was the same exact scenario.
You had decided to change things up after realizing that you've only ever gotten the blueberry muffin everyday- per the recommendation of the frequent stranger.
That attractive, blonde, intimidating stranger.
The stranger who stood behind you in line everyday, who was always wearing a suit.
The stranger whose voice was smooth, and made you just a little bit weak in the knees.
Okay, maybe more than a little bit.
So, there you were.
Standing at the counter, perusing the menu, once again.
Kento was pleasantly surprised. He was expecting another day of your usual blueberry muffin order.
Maybe it was time to step out of his comfort zone?
"Having trouble deciding again?" Kento's low voice came from behind.
You turned around and gave him a sheepish smile, "Yeah, I wanted to try something new today."
Kento hummed in response.
You turned back around, and Kento took a moment to check out take in today’s outfit. You were always dressed so professionally, what did you do for a living?
He was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of your voice, "I don't suppose you'd be able to make another suggestion?" You looked over your shoulder, with a nervous smile.
Kento was taken aback. You were asking him for help?
He could have sworn the earth was about to implode.
This was yet another disturbance in his routine.
Kento had been standing behind you in the mornings for weeks now, and not once had you spoken to him.
Maybe this could be a second chance.
Maybe, if he got your name he’d be able to get some sleep at night.
That’s what it was.
He was just worked up over not being able to put a name to your face.
Once he had that information, his life would go on per usual.
"Well," Kento started, "I think the pumpkin bread is the best thing on the menu during this time of the year."
You smiled, thanking him and turned to the cashier who had overheard his suggestion, "I'll have that and a plain coffee, please."
The cashier nodded and went to make your order. You moved to the side to wait, and Kento was right behind you after he placed his order.
He wasn't sure if you'd start a conversation, or if he should.
But then, the barista called your order number, and his eyes widened.
Kento's face turned into a scowl. Fuck, he was blowing it again!
He had finally been given a chance, and now he had fucked it up. He didn't know your name, yet.
"Thank you again for the help," You said politely and picked up your coffee, "I'll see you tomorrow."
And with that, you left.
His heart stopped, and his stomach dropped when he watched you walk out the door.
What a stupid mistake.
He was a fool, and had just let his chance walk out the door.
Wait-
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
You told him you would see him tomorrow.
Tomorrow was his chance.
He wasn't sure if you had intended the remark as a promise, but Kento took it as such.
Now, he was determined. Determined to know your name. The name of his little problem.
A problem that, deep down, he was secretly beginning to welcome.
91 notes · View notes
luciddownloading · 2 days
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Tarot Reading (Pick A Card): Messages From Your Inner Child 🧸
Hello and welcome to or welcome back for another Tarot reading. I felt very inspired to do this one today, possibly because of my own recent inner child work. It's pretty self-explanatory. We will first see what traits your inner child has; how you were as a child and how you still carry that around. Then, we'll see what messages your inner child has for you. Being in touch with the child within can make you more in touch with your emotions and needs, which can, therefore, bring you clarity on emotional problems or external conflicts you may be avoiding or struggling with.
I don't know what kind of messages will come out but I have a feeling that some of what I will be channeling will be on the heavier side. The inner child can, of course, carry so much of any trauma or abuse a person may have experienced growing up. So, keep that in mind.
And I am taking reversals again, btw. I just felt called to. So, see which image or images you feel most drawn to and then see what you need to know about or hear from your inner child. As always, use your intuition to know what resonates and if it's your pile or not. This reading may not be for everyone because of the messages being channeled.
PILE 1
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PILE 2
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PILE 3
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PILE 4
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PILE 1
YOUR INNER CHILD'S TRAITS
The Hermit (reversed)
Knight of Pentacles (reversed)
The Tower (reversed)
Ten of Cups (back of the deck)
Aw, Pile 1. I want to give the little version of you a hug. This is some really emotionally charged energy here. I feel like there are a lot of feelings about your childhood that you have yet to process. Maybe you're on the younger side still, like your early to mid 20's, and you haven't dealt with that yet. Or you could have just begun your healing journey or you're just about to. Either way, your inner child feels very, very close to your adult self, as if you are still that child that you were then. This could be in positive ways or in ways that held you back.
I definitely feel like you were very introverted or spent a lot of time alone. You might have been shamed a lot for that. Adults around you, in particular, could have thought your introversion was odd or tried to push you out of it. Not realizing that you can't really change that about a person! However, although there's nothing wrong with being an introvert, some of your behavior was a reaction to your environment. You often felt unsafe and judged and overwhelmed and you would totally retreat within your own little world in order to cope. You could play with your toys, read books or watch movies all day with little interaction with others.
You were constantly wishing you were somewhere else. You definitely could have hates your home life and even your hometown. You had a lot of fantasies about moving away or running away. You might have even tried to run away from home, when things got too crazy. But, I also feel like you were the rock in the family. You didn't need to be and shouldn't have been. You were just a kid. But, your home atmosphere was very turbulent and your family members could have been very unstable or thrived on drama. You might have felt like it was your role to be the sane one in the house or else everything would truly crumble. I can see you being a mini adult and being the one to listen or give advice or calm things down. If you had younger siblings, that's different. But, if you were doing this with older siblings or your parent(s), that could be a big source of trauma. Who was taking care of you?
You were either a huge overachiever or major underachiever in school, as a response to this parentified role. Either you felt like getting straight A's and being the model child was your key to survival and receiving love or you were so exhausted, neglected and even depressed at home that you couldn't be bothered with school. You might have even underperformed academically as your way of rebelling. People might not have understood the extent of your issues at home. One or both of your parents were all about appearances and making people think you had a perfect family.
I do think that you developed a deep-seated dream of the perfect family, as a child. You could have looked at your friends' families with envy or longing, wondering why couldn't have a family as nice or caring or stable as that. You might have even spent a lot of time at certain friends' homes, to the point where you became an honorary member of their family. It was a nice escape from your home. Again, I also think you became a major caregiver as a result of your upbringing. You were especially gentle with younger kids and very aware of how you treated them. You also couldn't wait to grow up and become a parent yourself. You could have personal placements in Scorpio or the Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) especially Virgo. Your Moon, in particular, may be in one of those signs. Your inner child is a real sweetheart and determined to give others the love that he/she/they didn't feel. That even extended to your relatives, even if they weren't always acting right. And this affected them very deeply. They may not have said so or treated you well but you were truly the warm, loving nucleus of your family. A light in the midst of the dark.
WHAT YOUR INNER CHILD WANTS TO SAY
The Empress
Three of Swords (reversed)
The Chariot
Judgement
The Fool (back of the deck)
Okay, this is interesting. So, what I said earlier about your healing journey just beginning could definitely apply to a lot of you. But, for a minority of you, this is describing the healing that you have already done and how far you have gotten. Either way, your inner child is coming through to say how absolutely proud they are of you! They are either proud because of all the progress you have made or the changes you are on track to make in order to heal.
You have or will become the kind of adult that your little self always needed. It is okay if you are crying right now because I am tearing up, too! Lol but you are fully capable of giving your inner child all the love and safety and support they were missing while growing up. You have spent so much of your life just giving, giving, giving that love away. That's what you learned to do. You learned to survive your daily life by giving love to people who couldn't receive it and/or couldn't give that love back. And that has carried over into your friendships and your love life. You are SUCH a loving person but you actually have a very hard time receiving love. This is why you are so drawn to unavailable people in love, for instance. It's what you know and because they can't truly be there for you, it keeps you feeling safe. That's a subconscious thing but attention is being drawn to this pattern (and many of you already know this).
You have had your heart broken very badly before in love because of this pattern. But, you know what? You refuse to give up on love or life. You refuse to shut your heart down. And if you're feeling tempted to harden or go cold, this is your warning to not give into that. That is not you! However, it is going to be important for you to incorporate a little bit more of your head. You lead with your heart and have a huge heart. Your heart chakra is one of your most powerful chakras. But, you will need to remember the power of discernment and boundaries. Don't just give your love to anyone! And align yourself with friends or love interests who can pour into you. It's not your duty or obligation to pour into them! Let yourself receive and attract good love.
I am getting that those of you who chose this pile have a very strong feminine energy (and, of course, you could identify with any gender). A message from your inner child is coming through about that. In some way, you weren't allowed to fully own your feminine energy as a child. Your family could have shamed or mocked you for it. You could have been pushed to be more masculine in a way that felt inauthentic to you. Something about a mother figure is also coming through. She could have been the main one shaming your femininity and possibly because of her struggles with her own. She could have been more on the controlling or suppressive side, not that nurturing or understanding.
However, you have the power to be a great mother figure to yourself. So much of your adult life will be about stepping into your Divine Feminine essence and healing the shaming you received for it as a child. And many of you will find other mother figures to connect to and feel truly nurtured by, whether it's surrogate mothers in the physical, feminine ancestors and spirit guides or even goddesses who have that motherly energy. Take what resonates.
All in all, your inner child either wants to prepare you for or congratulate you on creating a completely different life as an adult than the one given to you as a child. This could even mean cutting certain relatives off or your immediate family as a whole. Whatever feels right to you! You are in charge now. But, I can see you, throughout your healing, having huge and sudden realizations about your upbringing or your behavioral patterns as a result of your upbringing. These breakthroughs will lead to sweeping changes. But, also, don't push yourself too hard. A big part of your healing will depend on being gentle with yourself, especially since you didn't get that at home.
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PILE 2
YOUR INNER CHILD'S TRAITS
King of Pentacles
The Emperor (reversed)
Ten of Cups
Eight of Pentacles (back of the deck)
Pile 2, it seems like you grew up in a home/family that was very patriarchal. I am picking up a father figure with a very strong presence or personality. It could have been a grandfather, too. Maybe you were raised by your grandparents. I am also seeing a beard. Either your father or grandfather could have been known for their beard. But, whatever paternal figure you looked up to, I think they were very solid, consistent and grounded in an impressive way. They shaped a lot of your values, especially your work ethic.
Interestingly, I feel like there is the influence of two father figures here. It could even be a dad and a stepdad. Or two dads! Whatever the case. But, I feel like you were much closer to one than the other. For a lot of you, I do think this is the case of a grandpa that you were very connected to and a dad who you had a lot of issues with. Possibly the reverse! Take it how it resonates. Regardless, one of these father figures made you feel very restricted and invalidated and even controlled. He was very strict and rigid in ways that deeply impacted you.
It's also interesting because not a lot is coming through about you. I don't think, as a child, you were given much space to have an identity of your own. Some of you come from very big families or there was just a lot going on at home. You might have felt unseen and neglected. I think the financial part of your home life was fine. It was a case of emotional neglect. And you had a very deep need for your father's approval and recognition. It was something you just couldn't get but you tried your hardest (and that may still be continuing into adulthood).
The one way you were able to get attention was by achieving things. So, you put a lot of effort and energy into being the best. You also might have had a very competitive relationship with your siblings, for this reason. You could have birth chart placements in Aries or the Earth signs: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn. Your Moon could be in one of those signs, especially Aries or Capricorn. In many ways, you were a very masculine child. You may have been sporty and athletic, tomboyish, or just very assertive and direct. I do feel like your inner child has anger issues. Even though you could be sensible and level-headed, that inability to feel heard or validated could really, really frustrate you. But, that would just get you into trouble, especially with the aforementioned father figure. Maybe, at times, you would act out because that was a surefire way to get noticed by him.
WHAT YOUR INNER CHILD WANTS TO SAY
The Moon (reversed)
Page of Wands
Queen of Cups (reversed)
Five of Swords
Three of Cups (back of the deck)
Okay, I feel like the message here from your inner child is actually about your family. You have spent your life remaining oblivious to many of the dynamics in your family. If you do recognize some toxic patterns, you will just brush it off as not that big of a deal. But, you are underestimating the importance of these issues. They will catch up to you sooner or later. I am honestly feeling like your inner child is having a kind of That's So Raven vision of something bad happening soon. Except that's a sitcom and this won't be so funny. (You might actually have clairvoyance, too, and not realize it yet) But, you KNOW trouble is brewing. The tension keeps building on something and that'll keep happening until it boils over.
That sounds ominous, I know lol. This is not to scare you. If anything, it's to wake you up because you know what's going on and what's not right. You're just ignoring it. I hate to say it but certain family members might be hating behind your back or hoping you fail. That might not even be entirely conscious. But, when people are really struggling with their own insecurities, they take it out on people who are doing well. Are you embarking on some sort of project or new venture? If so, there are relatives who may be doubting you, criticizing you, even working against you.
There could be a betrayal from someone in your family that you don't see coming, even though anyone else could from a mile off. You just blind yourself, at times, and give them the benefit of the doubt too much. They want to keep you small. You are good at outdoing a lot of your competition, whether you realize it or not. But, you aren't given enough credit. It's that toxic thing that some people do of choosing to not praise you, even though you absolutely ATE without a crumb left on the plate, because praising you, in their mind, would make them smaller. But, that means that they were already small to begin with!
I am getting that this reversed Queen of Cups could be a draining mother figure in your family. If your father was emotionally unavailable, then she was emotionally exhausting. And an emotional vampire can feel very threatened by your success because that means they can't feed on your energy anymore. This could also be a sister, aunt, grandma or even a male relative with a lot of feminine energy. But, they can make you feel very manipulated. And, in the end, they could still love you. This could be so unconscious they don't even know they're doing it.
The little version of you is coming through to tell you to not be deceived by this kind of behavior. This relative may even try to talk you out of your dreams and goals or instill fear. For some of you, I feel like you are pursuing something very creative; a talent you have had since childhood but may not have fully maximized yet. For others, you are already doing it and it's about to take off. Whatever your abilities (and they don't necessarily have to be artistic), I think it's something this Queen of Cups may envy, especially if it's something they always wanted to do.
In terms of your hard father figure, there is a message here to stop trying to impress him. At what point do you decide that you're an adult who doesn't need their parent's approval to thrive? Your inner child is quite exhausted with jumping through those hoops. Just live your life! Liberate yourself. And that liberation may involve taking a break from your family or getting some distance, even if it's for a little while. Maybe longer! It will depend on the type of shit that goes down. I have the feeling that you grew up in a very "close-knit" family. But, close-knit in the sense of codependency and doing things together more so out of habit. If you are still living at home or in your hometown for whatever reason, now would be the time to go elsewhere. As I said, there's not a lot in this reading about your separate identity. I think you need to spend some more time totally on your own to figure out who you are as an individual.
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PILE 3
Two of Pentacles
Five of Swords (reversed)
Eight of Wands (reversed)
King of Swords (reversed) (back of the deck)
Pile 3, I get the feeling that, wphile growing up, you might have taken on quite a bit just to make your family happy. Your inner child can be quite a people pleaser. I think you have always hated arguments and drama and conflict. So, you would do and say whatever was necessary to diffuse things or ease the tension. You might have personal placements, particularly the Moon, in Air: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius. You were a more laid-back child, agreeable and easy to get along with. But, you also struggled with intense inner conflict because you were so busy trying to alleviate any external conflicts and this had a way of eventually spilling out.
Your inner child is very fearful and anxious. I definitely get the vibe of "walking on eggshells". Again, you never wanted to do or say anything wrong. I think the consequences when you messed up could have been especially harsh or even cruel. So, this made you feel very self-conscious and insecure. Many of you could have had a father figure who was pretty much verbally abusive. His words could be extremely harsh and destructive and he might have given you his worst. The ways in which he tore you down may have stuck with you for life and you still haven't healed from it, in some way, is what I am getting.
Your inner child definitely needs a big hug! I don't feel like you got the emotional nourishment that you needed while growing up. That was kind of a foreign concept in your house. You were tended to on practical and intellectual levels. As a result, your inner child can be incredibly needy in ways you don't truly understand. Because of that insistence on the practical, you still focus heavily on the practical now, at the neglect of everything else. I am getting the message that if you are putting too much energy into work, it's because you have some sort of emotional problem you're not dealing with. I think you are simultaneously very close to your inner child but very detached from them. You have many emotional wounds that you feel like you can just ignore or suppress. But, it will come out, in some way or another.
I think that exploring and confronting your inner child can be very scary for you. You would rather not deal with those issues. But, you have to deal with them or else they will deal with you! You're also a little too comfortable in the old patterns of childhood. Not much has changed in terms of the dysfunctional way you deal with things. You get terribly afraid of disappointing people and causing conflict, which inevitably creates conflict. And you can be so, SO hard on yourself. You have a very mean inner dialogue that is just an echo of all the mean things your father figure planted in your head. It's really intense. Your inner child is just crying out for help and comfort because it's like they keep getting beat up again and again.
WHAT YOUR INNER CHILD WANTS TO SAY
King of Swords (reversed)
Seven of Cups (reversed)
Death (reversed)
The Magician (reversed)
Two of Wands (reversed)
Wow, well, this is really heavy. I don't know if you approached this reading expecting to hear what I am about to tell you . But, on some level, you know you need to hear it. First off, what is so striking is that the King of Swords in reverse immediately popped out again. You know that meme of Jasmine Masters, the drag queen, where she's like, "Well, just as I thought. Trash!" That's what just came to mind because I feel that way about this father figure represented by the reverse King of Swords. They are so mean and nasty and so miserable. Always has been and might always will be. Yes, I am dragging them lol. Maybe I should be impartial but fuck it. I feel like you need that because them showing up again here confirms how much they have wrecked your self-image and self-esteem since childhood. They made you believe that YOU are trash but you weren't the problem. They are still so deep in your head and under your skin and that's the first thing you need to heal.
You have spent your whole life afraid of turning into them, too, and you don't see how wonderful you actually are. We do NOT have to be our parents. We are not automatic clones of our parents. So many people just become a lot like their parents out of conditioning and an inability to shape their personalities in a different mold or break the cycle. Maybe you too have tendencies toward being harsh or cold but some of this is just a defense mechanism. You're not perfect but that doesn't make you the worst person alive. And that doesn't make you your father. Again, I really don't think you see how kind and lovely your heart really is because no one consistently made your little self feel good and lovable.
Another message I am getting is that I feel like you get sucked into super-dysfunctional situations that mirror your childhood issues. You might easily fall into either very toxic or very unfulfilling relationships. You felt trapped and mistreated as a child and you now fall into situations where you feel trapped and mistreated. Certain partners may even have made you feel like it's not possible to leave or survive without them. If you're in such a relationship now, PLEASE seek help and know that it is possible to get out. You also don't have to hide what you're going through out of shame.
Yeah, the relationship thing is a major message here. You can settle for terrible partners because you don't feel you deserve something better. You may feel like you have no other option. You can also just settle for being alone and pushing good things away because the prospect of losing something good is too scary for you. I feel like these are actually not messages from your inner child but real guidance from Spirit and your Guides. They want you to heed this advice so you can actually begin the process of healing and nurturing your inner child.
It feels like you have been extremely resistant to change, in the past, and developed a sort of learned helplessness. I think it's the vulnerability of your hurt inner child that wants someone else to gallop in and save you. But, no, you can save yourself. You can be your own hero. You can prove to yourself, your family, and anyone else that you are so, so much more than your trauma or all the horrible and inaccurate things you were told about yourself. But, you have choose that path of healing. You have to make the conscious effort. The reward of it all will be reconnecting with your child self and recognizing that they were and are so much more lovable and special than they were told they were.
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PILE 4
YOUR INNER CHILD'S TRAITS
The Hierophant
Ace of Wands
Three of Swords (reversed)
King of Cups (back of the deck)
Pile 4, I definitely feel like your inner child is an old soul. You had a maturity and wisdom to you beyond your years as a kid. So much of that just had to do with the strength and frequency of your soul. You lived many, many lifetimes before you incarnated. You're a highly spiritual being and I really get the feeling that many of you were incarnated in order to heal some sort of generational trauma in your family. You have a very strong bond with at least one or two of your ancestors, who either passed on before you arrived or when you were very little, to the point where you may barely remember them. But, they serve as a Guide to you and they're actually hijacking the reading a bit just to tell you how proud they are of you and how much they love you.
You were a very compassionate, very loving child. I actually wouldn't be surprised if you were also drawn to Pile 1 because this feels like an extension of that pile. You are a born empath and healer, a light-worker, but you, of course, didn't know that as a child. You just knew you felt everything deeply and cried when others were in pain, that you could feel the pain of the adults around you without them even telling you. And you didn't understand why you didn't quite feel like a child. There was a heaviness and seriousness to you, an intense emotional depth. Yes, you could still be silly and playful. But, you were like some ancient 2000 year old creature stuck in a child's body.
Yet, you were also very enthusiastic, passionate and spirited. You might have had a big personality that felt often stifled by the adults around you. I am sensing that many of you grew up in a very traditional or very conservative family that you just could not fit into. You could have been made to feel bad about your free spirit, your fiery side or colorful nature. For some of you, being so sensitive, this stifled you and made you turn inward. You could have experienced a personality shift where you became shy, quiet or reserved. However, you found your escape in creativity. You displayed a lot of creative talent, at an early age, and this became an outlet for all your self-expression and strong emotions.
Many of you could have had a very religious upbringing, too. While it may have been very restrictive, I feel like a lot of you enjoyed going to church and what not because of your high spiritual vibration. It wasn't about the religion itself but the communion with God/Spirit/Source. That created a very solid foundation of faith that you have carried with you throughout life, even if you left the church and moved away from religion, which a lot of you did. But, you remained connected to Source and developed a very powerful spiritual life as an adult.
Yeah, I do have a hard time exactly feeling like your inner child is a child. Of course, there can be trauma associated with that feeling. Maybe you did have to grow up too fast. But, people online nowadays think so much in terms of therapy language that some of them fail to realize that being an "old soul" or "miniature adult" is not entirely the result of trauma. That's also just who you naturally were as a kid. You could have birth chart placements - the Moon sign, in particular - in the sign of Taurus or the Water signs: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces. Your inner child is very perceptive and insightful. You saw the wounds in your family members, especially adults, and somehow "knew better", on an emotional level, than them.
Many of you had turbulent upbringings and suffered a lot of hurt yourself. A result of cycles being repeated. But, you never let it break you. I also think you were highly protected on a spiritual level. Very powerful Spirit Guides of yours acted as parental figures on the other side. They're the ones who raised you, emotionally and spiritually. There is a caring father figure in Spirit form who was especially present. It could have been your actual father who passed, a late grandfather or uncle, or even just a Spirit Guide who plays the role of father in your life. But, this is a masculine being who has always provided you with both strength and comfort, who has been there every time you shed tears. They love you so, so much and are so proud of how far you've come. Such a beautiful message! Again, that's a bit of a side note but they are very integral in the character, integrity, and depth you've developed since childhood because your 3d family could not give that to you.
WHAT YOUR INNER CHILD WANTS TO SAY
Queen of Swords (represented)
Ten of Pentacles
Four of Cups (reversed)
The Empress (reversed)
Two of Wands (back of the deck)
This is so interesting because every single pile has had major messages about a parental figure. But, this is about your inner child so that makes total sense. Your inner child is drawing attention to your mother figure here. She may not have been easy to deal with as a kid or even now as an adult. She could have controlling, abusive or narcissistic traits. And I don't easily throw the "narcissist" word around but that's what I am feeling called to say. You know if that resonates.
But, you are being asked to look at your mother's lineage and side of the family as a whole, which I feel is probably very female dominated. I think they were the source of a lot of your childhood trauma. Examine the family history and ask yourself how patterns have repeated or been passed down. Ask yourself how your mom was treated by her mom. Are there parallels? Can you see how that shaped her? And I think you're already good at processing those things but your inner child kind of wants you to not just see your mom as your mom. Really think about when she was just a child and how she probably felt the same way about her mom as you felt toward her. Whether or not you forgive is your choice. But, having more perspective on her could be healing.
Your inner child also wants you to examine your relationship with women, as a whole. Depending on your gender or sexual orientation, this could differ. But, I feel like you have recently been betrayed or heartbroken by a woman who you were very close to, either a good friend or a romantic partner. She could have displayed the same narcissistic or malignant traits as your mom or other women in your family. And that could be a haunting realization - that you are somehow attracted to that dynamic - but this recognition also leads to healing. If you're a woman, you also may have a horrible fear of becoming these women. But, no need to fear. You are the cycle breaker, honey! It ran through your family until it ran into you!
Regardless of your gender, I think you were meant to be a beautiful example of the Divine Feminine. But, you need to be aware of what kind of feminine energies you're drawing into your life. Whether male or female, you could really attract close connections with women who want to control you or make you feel small, who are jealous of your beauty or abundance or confidence. This is an echo of things with your mom and shows you where you need to heal that inner child wound. You are not doomed to be near feminine narcissists but these relationships need to serve as a lesson. So, you can avoid them in the further and attract truly supportive, genuine feminines into your life. You deserve to be your fullest self and not shrink for someone who supposedly loves you.
There is so much that you could have become, in a negative way, but you didn't! Your mother or that toxic feminine serve as a sort of inverse mirror image of you. Your Guides are congratulating you for not becoming that and moving down the right path. Also, a big part of your destiny will be having a family. I think the majority of you will want kids but, for a few of you, this could also mean fur-babies. I also feel compelled to say you're quite close to establishing that family of your own.
I am not saying you'll get married in a few months! But, I think a lot of you either will meet/reunite with the person you'll marry very soon (this year is what I am getting) or you are already with them. And this will lead to a family. Again, don't worry. You have already done all the healing work you have needed to do, including possibly cutting toxic relatives out. If this is your mom and you are struggling with that decision or missing her, it's okay to feel that way. But, you did the right thing! Think of how unhappy your life would be if you didn't make the decision to heal or distance yourself. You are setting yourself, your future spouse and future children up for the kind of fulfillment you didn't have.
/////////
Thanks for stopping by! You can check out my other readings and posts here:
MASTER LIST
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diddiqueen · 1 day
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Message in a bottle (epilogue)
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Ellie texts the wrong number, which happens to be yours. Friendship, too many bad jokes, flirting, and maybe something more ensues… (Ellie Williams x girl reader) -> Part fourteen
Series masterlist
BEFORE YOU READ: masterpost on how you can educate yourself on and help Palestine A/N: Ahhhh, we're at the end now! It feels both sad but also exciting as I now can start writing my new series that I'm planning (I literally can't do two things at the same time, I don't understand you writers who can have multiple series going on at once lol). Anyways,,,, I'm so grateful for every single one of you who has read this story<3 All these nice comments make my days really, u guys are so sweet:) I never expected to receive so much positive support on my first fic (I'm not a very experienced writer so it's not really that good ik) but I'm so glad that's the case!!! Okay, here we go with the epilogue (if anyone even had the energy to read this essay of an a/n I just wrote lol)!!!!! Also 3 chapters in 4 days, I'm so generous.
Day 230 Six months later…
“Hello?”
“Hiya babe”, you heard your girlfriend’s voice on the other line. 
“Did you need something?”, you asked her and sat down on your newly-made bed, wondering what the cause of her call was. Ellie laughed before speaking and you could picture her eyes sparkling and dimples making themselves seen in her joy. 
“Do I need something to call my wonderful girlfriend?”, she said back to you and you could hear a hint of something in her voice. What was going on? 
“What have you done now, Ellie? Do I need to bail you out somewhere?”, you interrogated but with a hind of gentleness in your voice. You really had a soft spot for her and her shenanigans.
“So”, Ellie started before continuing, “I might have found something”
“Found what?” Lord, have mercy. This did not sound like the start of something good. 
Her voice came out almost as a whisper when she spoke. “A kitten”
“A kitten? Where?”. A sigh escaped your lip after you spoke, glad that it wasn’t anything worse. “Ellie?”, you added quickly after her lack of response. 
“It was by some dumpster. Someone had just left her there, I couldn’t help but bring her home”, she sounded genuinely upset and you couldn’t help but to melt at her words. Kittens were cute and all but you couldn’t just take one, well it was already too late as through Ellie’s phone call she was in the car and probably on her way home. 
“Fine, but you gotta buy cat food and shit”
“I already have”. Of course she had, Ellie really had a soft spot for helpless things like old people eating alone and apparently cats found in dumpsters 
It had been six months since that first kiss out in the cold, six months since your first date and six months since Ellie asked you to be her girlfriend. A lot of things had happened in between like graduating high school, spending the summer together at your parents summer house and hanging out with your new found friends, Dina and Jesse. 
In some days, you were finally starting college which you had been preparing for since you were a young girl as it just seemed like such a fun time in life. It felt even more exciting now with your new girlfriend by your side. Together you had hired a small apartment close to the university and was in the process of moving in together. Now, you were sitting on your shared bed and waited for Ellie, and the kitten, to come back. You had only sent her out to buy some apartment stuff while you built some IKEA furniture at home. During her one hour away, you had not expected to get a new family member - but that was life with Ellie now. New things always seemed to happen. This whole year had been a complete rollercoaster for you and you had come out of your shell more than you ever had in such a short time. It really felt like the transition from childhood to being an adult, all these new friend, moving out from your parents and having your first relationship. As cliche as it might sound, you couldn’t wait to see what more life outside of high school had to offer. Suddenly a loud noise brought you out of your pondering and Ellie came into view. She was carrying multiple bags of different stuff on her arm and a small fluffy cat on the other. The view could not help but make you smile, she was so pretty and the cat even more adorable. “Hey”, Ellie exclaimed as she put everything down, including the cat which she placed on your bed. It was small, white, black and a little fluffy. “I’ve named her Bob”. You were suddenly brought out of your adoring staring at the cat and lifted your eyes up to her. “Bob? Really, Ellie?”, you said and crossed your arms. “Yeah. It’s a great name for a cute cat like this”. Her whole face lit up as she spoke and you melted at she sight of her, nodding and rolling your eyes. You and her packed up some more stuff and fixed the last things in your bedroom before Ellie got a text, the loud pinging noise echoing through the room. “Oh, it’s Dina. They are coming over tonight”
“Her and Jesse?”, you questioned. “Yup and some more of her hundred friends”, Ellie responded and rolled her eyes sarcastically. Ever the social butterfly Dina. “They are joining us here before the pre college party tonight”. Oh, right. That was tonight which you had totally forgotten in your cleaning and fixing rumble that had taken you all day. Soon this place were going to be filled with multiple adolescents, ready for college life to start and even though social events weren’t your strong suit, you were actually really exited. Finally, you felt like your life had started for real.
Day 231 (10.28) she was all over you last night
(10.28) Who? (10.28) Also why are you texting me? We live together
(10.29) you know who
(10.29) No ellie i think u have start seeing things (10.29) Should I take u to an eye doctor? (10.29) An exorcist maybe? 
(10.30) i know what I saw
(10.30) Stop being jealous
(10.30) you don’t think it’s hot?😔
(10.30) A little maybe
(10.31) i knew it (10.31) you’re obsessed with me🤣
(10.31) Says the jealous one
(10.31) but…but…
(10.32) Butt
(10.32) you’re such a child 
(10.32) Does that make u a pedo then?
(10.32) ewww no
(10.33) Funny that’s ur initials (10.33) Ew
(10.33) LOL😂😂😂😂 (10.34) Ellie come back to bed now
-─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
(14.47) what's long and hard and full of semen?
(14.47) My dick 
(14.48) hahaha ur so funny babe 😆 (14.48) but no (14.49) a submarine
(14.49) Somethings never change huh
(14.49) what do you mean? (14.50) my irresistible charisma or hilariously funny humor
(14.50) Hard choice (14.50) i miss you (14.51) I’ll be home in an hour (14.51) Why can’t you come now?
(14.51) Because i have work to do? (14.51) Responsibilities (14.52) You should try it (14.52) Ouch (14.52) I am searching for a job (14.52) I actually have an interview tomorrow (14.52) Oh that’s awesome babe (14.52) Its gonna go great (14.53) I believe in you<3 (14.53) Thanks babe (14.53) Well i gotta go now (14.54) Breaks over
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
(22.19) you looked so pretty today
(22.20) Gay 
(22.20) why am I even putting up with you?
(22.20) Because u love me 
(22.21) that I do
(22.21) Love u too
(22.21) gay
(22.22) 😔😔😔 (22.22) Are you done in the bathroom? (22.22) i’ll be in bed in 5
Day 232
(15.39) I made som pizza if u want when u come home
(15.41) omg I’m literally obsessed with you 
(15.41) What else is new?
(15.42) it’s funny you never knew I flirted with you in the beginning 
(15.42) I thought u were just joking
(15.42) i literally said your boobs looked good
(15.42) Yeah, as a friend
(15.43) you’re so oblivious, you’re lucky you’re so cute
(15.43) ❤️❤️ (15.43) So are you
(15.43) oblivious or cute?
(15.44) The first one obviously 
(15.44) Love ya too babe
(15.44) 🙄🙄🙄 (15.45) (Love u too)
Day 233
(10.12) how are you today?❤️
(10.12) I’m good, thanks (10.12) Wbu, babe?
(10.12) i’m great😇 (10.13) how are your boobs?
(10.13) They are fine
(10.13) let me see
(10.13) No
(10.13) i wanna make sure they are okay😔 (10.13) Its ten in the morning (10.13) yes and?
(10.14) Okay ariana(10.14) Ur impossible
(10.14) dude 
(10.14) Dont dude me
(10.14) sorry love (10.15) How did ur interview go btw? (10.15) good actually (10.15) better than my last one (10.15) Well we don’t need to bring up that now do we? (10.15) no please not (10.16) well, it felt good (10.16) i hope i get the job (10.16) I’ll cross my fingers for u (10.16) aw thanksss (10.16) i’ll see you tonight? (10.16) Yeah of course<33 (10.16) are you exited for classes to start tomorrow? (10.16) Well exited and exited (10.17) I happed to like not studying (10.17) yeah but its gonna go great (10.17) you’re so smart (10.17) Says u miss astrophysics (10.17) well they don’t call me a genius for nothing (10.17) Who has ever called u a genius? (10.18) jesse
(10.18) And he’s smart? (10.18) stop it, you know he can’t help that😔 (10.18) Anyways (10.19) I gotta go back to working or whatever (10.19) So byeee (10.19) oh my dear breadwinner (10.19) Hell yeah im husband material (10.19) does that make me your housewife? (10.20) Obviously
(10.20) wouldn’t want to be anything else (10.20) Sap (10.21) you love it (10.21) Maybe (10.21) (Yes)
A/N: Yeah I don't even know what this is but I hoped it was an okay ending! Thanks for following me through this series! I appreciate every single one of you<33 Also, I have a new series planned which will be a lot more angsty and chapter one will come in some days. Check it out here -> Romance is dead Taglist: @gato-chino@crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @elliescunt222 @elsbabyxx@onlinelesbo@slut4mascss@elliessweetheart@fullmachinegirl@mikellie@kitkatkittycat111@yumimak@ellieschair@deliriousrn@scarletchase1989@jokerpokimoon@seraphicsentences@w1ll1amz@strap-me-down-please@isitadinosaur@elliesactualgirlfriend@radioheadfan699@zoehxnji@4ftergloww@macaroni676@harrysslutsstuff@sc0ttstre3ted@rxreaqia @emst4rr @jairaanderson@marrycv@eviestevie-14@ellstronaut@dixitu@elliewilliamsblunt@boobdrug@tearouthearts@desireesfics@elliewilliamsmiller0@sapphhicslut @kawaiibreadbouquet-blog @dixitu@ellslvr @kazo0339 @tphmnv @lez-zuha (sorry tumblr doesn't let me tag some people)
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stellamancer · 1 day
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heel (gojo x reader???)
notes: um. idk what i should say. though i am not hating on feet people!! i am feet people!! if you want a non foot version of this feel free to read my other fic empty threat: also post spar with gojo shenanigans (even reused a line to connect the two lmao). part of the infinite loop! fic verse.
ageless blogs and minors do not interact
contains: gn!reader (no gendered language is used) gojo, feet (or what i like to call the steppy)??, dubcon?? (just in case), sexual implications, the use of the words dick and cock, no this isn't smut
wc: 812
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You wish you knew how you ended up in this situation.
It all started with you agreeing to spar with Gojo and thinking back now, that was your first mistake. Training with him has been odd lately, though you can’t quite put your finger on why, but one minute the two of you were engaged in hand to hand combat and now he’s laying on the floor with your foot pressed firmly against his crotch.
You don't even know how it got there in the first place.
“Well?” he drawls, that stupid amused tone of his grating on your nerves as he waits for your next move.
Idly, you think it’d be nice if you could end his family line here and now by stomping down hard enough but you know that that’s just wishful thinking on your part.
Should you just back off then? Fight’s over; you’ve won, but only because Gojo let you. Honestly speaking, that fact burns you, keeps your foot in place despite your attempts to rationalize it with the notion that a win’s a win. If he were a curse, you wouldn’t care about it being an easy win.
But he’s not; he’s Satoru Gojo and there’s something off about all this.
“Enjoying the view?” Gojo asks, yanking you from your thoughts. You stare down at him, scowling, but he remains unfazed as usual. “Not that I can blame you since—”
Your body reacts instantly in annoyance, your foot jerking down, digging into his dick and, for a split second, you think that it’s the surprise of it that causes him to cut off mid-sentence.
Except for the fact that he moans.
He fucking moans.
You’ve always thought, always known that Satoru Gojo is an absolute freak but you’d never really given much thought to it.
If you could, you’d keep it that way— the last thing you want is to be giving him more mental real estate than he deserves.
This is way too much for you right now.
“Ah, so you’re into that, are you?” Gojo’s voice sounds way too entertained, way too pleased for someone who just had someone grind their heel into his crotch. “Somehow, I’m not surprised.”
Instinct bids you to crush his cock beneath your foot because normally guys find that to be pretty painful, but you have to remind yourself that Gojo is far from normal. He might actually be into it. So instead, you try to pull your foot away, to get away from him as fast as possible, but try as you might, your foot doesn’t move, as if it’s being held in place by some invisible force.
You’re mildly horrified when you realize that it is and this, you think, has the be the most disturbing use of the Limitless technique in all of history. The realization causes your self-control to slip and your foot presses even harder against him.
Gojo moans again, louder this time and you can’t ignore the slight pressure of what you fear to be a growing boner pushing against the sole of your shoe.
Nor can you ignore the electric prickle running up and down the length of your spine. What the heck? When it starts to settle in the pit of your stomach you realize what it is.
You need to get away from Gojo.
Now.
You yank your foot away from him and luckily, luckily, he releases his technique and you’re free of him. Like a frightened creature, you back away and refuse to look Gojo in the eye.
“...get up,” you say after a second of absolute silence. You hear the ruffle of clothes as he rises to his feet and slowly, carefully, you peer at him from the corner of your eye. “Don’t do that again.”
Gojo’s expression is unreadable. Figures. But who knows, maybe, for once in his life, he’ll actually listen.
Unfortunately, your hopes are dashed the moment he opens his mouth. “Why? You looked like you were enjoying yourself.”
You are horrified. What kind of face were you making? There’s no way. He has to be lying, saying what he wants for the sake of his own entertainment. You couldn't have been into it! You were mortified, horrified by all of it, but yet you still managed get tu—
Before that last thought can fully form itself in your mind you shake your head violently as if that will rid you of it.
Gojo laughs lighthearted and amused as always, “Okay, okay, if you say so.”
He doesn’t believe you, but he’s always been delusional. You glare at Gojo but he ignores it, and stretches.
“Let me know if you change your mind though,” he says casually. “I think it could be fun.”
“Yeah right,” you huff, ignoring how he laughs, ignoring how the tiniest voice in the back of your mind thinks that maybe, just maybe he’s got a point.
Satoru Gojo’s definitely a freak, but maybe you are too.
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is gojo actually into getting his dick stepped on or was he just fucking around and you were just finding out? you decide.
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mickisnotclever · 1 day
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~ Made Just for You ~
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Prompt: "To Belong" - Day 24 of @hotchfiles 's event MarchHotchness! (It's two days late but pretend it isn't, alright?)
Relationships: General, No ship, Aaron Hotchner & His Family, Aaron Hotchner & The BAU Team
CW: Implied/referenced child abuse, Blood, Alcoholism, Guns
Word Count: 1,819 | This wasn't meant to be this long. I have other fics I'm trying to update but this simply took hold of me
AN: I've never posted fic to tumblr before so I hope I did this right. Also, if this isn't the greatest can you just ignore it or lie to me? Lmao I'm so nervous about posting this. Takes place in very early days + season 1 era, so no Emily yet.
Home should be the one place where every child feels like they fit seamlessly. There should be spaces carved out in the exact shape of their bodies for them to nestle into at the end of a long day.
Aaron's house had no space for him when he was growing up.
It was too crowded with empty glass bottles and tin cans. Filled to the brim with the sound of his mother's muffled cries. Packed tight with his brother's desperation to please.
He had become an expert contortionist at a very young age.
He learned how to fold up his presence, to tuck himself into the tiniest crack. He perfected the skill of fading away in plain sight when his father transformed into a raging whirlwind that threatened to rip their house apart.
As time went on, he learned how to conveniently materialize when the crosshairs started to focus on his mother or brother.
He was nonexistent one moment, and there the next. Ready and willing to fill the space between the flying leather and his baby brother's pleading form.
He began to almost like it in a way.
He didn't enjoy the searing pain but he learned to take it. He almost... wanted it. It reminded him that he was there, that his father saw him for at least a few moments. Despite the circumstance, he was allowed to share the space with him for a while. He was allowed to exist loudly. He was allowed to have a voice. It didn't matter that he was crying in agony and despair.
The Hotchner house looked like a normal one from the outside. A regular family resided there, two parents and two children. They never wanted for anything, be it food and water or possessions. The neighbors saw them as equals, as as people who they could turn to for help. After all, they were the perfect family.
But Aaron knew the truth. That only one child truly lived there. Only one child fit there, was allowed to freely move around the whole area without a second thought, belonged there.
If Aaron had to make himself a ghost in order to allow his brother to live, then so be it. He'd gladly glide between the spaces that held the evidence of his brother's childhood. He drifted past the height markers on the door frame with an "S" scratched next to each one. None of them had an "A" next to them. There was a dent marring the other side of the frame where a heavy bottle had missed Aaron's head. He was fine with that.
When he silently drifted past the refrigerator and saw a display of a carefully crafted drawing with a shakily penned name, he smiled to himself. The award Aaron had been given for his high marks at school was still just as valuable where it remained in his bag.
He was too busy making himself small to notice when he had grown up. His family hadn't noticed either, least of all his father.
The times with him that Aaron used to relish in a demented way had grown tainted with resentment. The blood that dripped from his mouth, another stain in the carpet, was no longer proof that he was alive. It was no longer the mark of some sick justification to himself that his father was helping him grow strong. It was just another reminder that he was only allowed to leave traces of himself behind when they were ripped violently from his body.
The day he decided to pack his things and leave for college, his father tried to pull him back into the residence that rejected his presence.
Aaron unfolded himself then, staring the man dead in the eyes, and his father finally saw him. All of him. His fury blazed bright behind carefully tempered glass.
And he let Aaron go.
Aaron wasn't sure how to stop hiding within himself. His whole life had been spent ensuring that he didn't have a noticeable presence. Now, he was free to have one. When he reached to feel the space where it should be, his fingertips brushed nothing but an empty cavern.
Days turned months into years and he found solace in being directed to designated areas.
This is your dormitory. Your side. Your bed.
Temporary ownership of a space was all he needed.
This is your classroom. Your desk.
He studiously made his way through classes, doing everything he needed to ensure he received top marks. Before he could form a permanent place for himself, he'd be moving on to another.
This is your building. This is your desk. These are your clients.
He presented facts, he helped people get justice. It was the closest he came to feeling like he had a purpose, a place he was supposed to be.
But feelings of uncertainty snagged inside him, on the edges of something he wasn't aware was there. Seeing how clients had suffered made him want to go back further, to help before they were hurt.
It was never about him. He couldn't let himself unfurl here. He had a job to do. And he moved on, abandoning the area he briefly allowed himself to settle.
This is your new classroom. This is your gun locker. This is your protective gear.
He didn't need to fill out any extra space with anything other than what he was trained to do. Follow the protocol, become the best he can be, help his teammates complete the task. He was just another highly skilled shooter under a helmet. This was easy.
The feeling remained.
Then came the FBI.
This is your desk. These are your supplies.
He met Jason Gideon. The man studied him in a way he never had been before. It filled him with discomfort.
He focused on his work. The unknowable thing inside him grew a little more every time they managed to successfully stop a tragedy from happening.
The first time a cup of coffee appeared on his desk in the morning, he thought someone had forgotten it there. Looking around for anyone that seemed to be searching for it, he spotted Gideon raising his own identical cup at him with a nod.
A hidden corner within unfolded as he took a drink from his cup.
He met Derek Morgan. The man was downright playful in a way he was extremely unfamiliar with. For a long while, he didn't know what to do with it. Slowly, he attempted to match the man's energy. At first, it was just once in a while when a sarcastic comment made its way past his lips before he could prevent it. Before he noticed, it was an almost daily occurrence. And he found he didn't hate it.
Gideon recruited an incredibly young man, Spencer Reid.
Almost immediately, he saw himself in the younger man. The way he would hunch over, how he would ball himself up into his seat, the way he seemed to speak as fast as he could whenever he had someone's attention before his allotted time was up. Aaron began to leave space for Reid to bloom, letting him speak about the things he wanted to whenever there were no time sensitive matters at hand.
Whenever he saw another piece of Reid emerge from its hiding spot, something within him followed suit.
Penelope Garcia was a force that he was utterly thrown by and drawn to, simultaneously. She was so loud, in more ways than the literal. Her unashamedly bright clothes rivaled her personality and Aaron almost envied her. When he was focused on the work, he sometimes didn't have room for her colorful words but sometimes, despite himself, he would smile.
Another part of him unfurled, and the thing within grew a little more.
Elle Greenaway was someone he understood. He saw her drive right from the start and felt a tug of recognition. She just wanted a chance and he related to that deep in his bones. There was no question that she did good work. She joined the team and he knew it would be a good fit. The first time she made a joke that pulled a laugh from his chest, they both stared at each other with surprise. Maybe hers was mixed with a little more delight than his.
But he felt the swell of the thing growing, getting very close to filling him up to the edges.
Jennifer Jareau was a whirlwind, she looked over cases with a speed and intensity that he admired. The way she knew just what to say to the press to keep them as informed as possible while ensuring they still had control over the message was a skill he appreciated. When she teased him about his stoic outwardly appearance, he only felt a smile pulling at his lips when before he would’ve vanished into himself.
With these people, he didn’t have to be “the other one” or “your brother” or “hey, you” or even “Aaron.” He could just be Hotch.
And here, Hotch was a part of the team. Not just any part, but an integral part. They didn’t only need him, but they wanted him.
He felt it in the way that Reid moved unconsciously to save him a spot right next to him in line as they delivered a profile.
When Morgan lifted his arm to clap him on the shoulder, and Hotch had absolutely no fear that his hand would come crashing down on him.
In the moments when Gideon pulled him aside to give him praise in the veiled manner that he had learned how to decipher over the years.
When Elle would notice he hadn’t smiled in a while and crack a joke to make him laugh.
When JJ would bring food over while they were working long cases and offer him is favorite burger.
On a slow day, when Gideon would show him a rare coin he had managed to find, smiling at Hotch’s excitement, and then pressed it into his palm wordlessly.
In the field, when he could hold a confiscated weapon behind him without looking and know that Reid would be there to take it from him.
When Morgan would bust a door open and Hotch could go in first, confident that he had his back.
When Garcia would work at the speed of light based on his suggestions and then compliment his thought process, saying they were unstoppable together.
The thing that had been steadily growing in the depths of his being was now firmly in place. He couldn’t hide away even if he tried. And he didn’t want to.
There were spaces carved out for him all around the members of his team. He didn’t just grow with them, but he grew around them.
This place was made just for him.
He had finally found where he belonged.
And he never wanted to leave.
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mx-julien · 3 days
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ninjas' relationship with a home
Zane is used to moving on from places, as an amnesiac orphan he was used to getting up and carrying on, then his only temporary home, the Monastery, burns down (ref: s1 ep2 Home) and the others blame him for it. granted, he seems unaffected from these accusations and proceeds to find the Destiny's Bounty that day so all is forgiven
I wonder if some of this longing for a home was intensified after he regains his memories in Tik Tok (s1 ep7). because then he would be able to remember a time of prolonged safety and living with people you love
Kai and Nya lived at the blacksmith shop presumably since their parents got kidnapped by Krux and Acronix. Nya even had enough time to create a whole secret room of armor
the first years must've been especially hard given all the reminders of their parents being around. did they leave their bedroom untouched, save for the occasional cleaning?
did Kai have to pull up a stool to the stove to cook until he hit his growth spurt? are most of Nya's memories in that house of Kai making her lunches and tucking her in at night and sending her off to school?
who takes care of the shop while they're gone? and when they come back do they notice everything looks a little smaller- each corner thick with dust and the fingerprints of afternoons when they were 12 and only had each other?
Jay lived with Ed and Edna in the scrapyard since he was little and he can visit back there whenever he likes, but now he has another family to think about: the one he never had, the one that gave him away
however after Skybound he knows he has other parents as well. does he ever sit in the kitchen he grew up in and wonder if his biomom had any recipes she wanted to pass down? if she ever saw families or little kids and thought of him? if they have the same smile or same freckles or same laugh?
sure he can learn about Cliff all he wants and he loves his Mom and Dad dearly, but was there more? could he have learned to master lightning with his Mom? where was she when he was growing up? was she unable to see him or unwilling? is she even alive?
Cole's house is likely the same as when he was little, so he too can go visit, but I wonder if he went off to "boarding school" because after his Mom died he couldn't stand to be at home
what was a place to laugh and paint became gray when Lilly got ill. it turned into a place of hushed voices and packed bags for the hospital. after she died it was the home of yelling, of arguments, of tradition vs. passion. smiles became forced and doors only slammed shut.
with more time having passed, I wonder if Cole is glad that so many things of his are mostly untouched since his Mom died. he can find her neat handwriting on some notes in his desk, in books on the shelves, and point out decor she bought
Lloyd only had a complete home for a small part of his childhood before Misako left him at Darkley's. then, he must've lived somewhere close to the school. when he was doing Pythor's bidding, he seemed to be mostly homeless
after growing up deserted at a boarding school (that he clearly didn't like) and manipulated into long treks and homelessness to do the bidding of a snake, perhaps his misbehavior at the beginning of his stay on the Bounty was because he couldn't imagine it lasting. him? a place where he felt at home? better the devil you know than the devil you don't- just toss me back out on the streets I don't CARE!
when do you think he realized that the others weren't going to leave him like his Mom did or take advantage of him like Pythor? how many months in did it take him to realize that his uncle Wu wasn't the only one who wanted him there?
any particular ninja y'all want me to focus on drop in the tags or replies- I'm real interested about this now
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A Panopticon's Desire: Yandere! Konrad Curze x Artist Reader (Pt: 1)
An artist born. Fire and Blood.. a future changed. Konrad was idling by on his throne. Something was off…. his world… his worthless populace had been fixed though the power of fear. He had very little need of going out to cull the scum. However, it was odd… he saw a future where he was dragged and somehow beheaded. His planet ablaze, but in as soon it arrived it changed… they were chained… locked away to rot. A rare beautiful toy to play with. He shook the vision form his head. NO matter. This future would not come to pass… after all. His spies that were loyal had reported that many of the families… despite going underground… had pooled their resources and planned some form of tribute.
Maybe this was some ploy of their feeble superstitious mind. Trying to appease him, so that just maybe their families would be spared. This would be very much interesting.
You were being smuggled. It was of upmost matter that you were to kept secret. You were a well known artist in the system… with your work respected. However, this would be your greatest job yet! They were offering you, in your view, your weight in gold. All of the materials and lodging were provided. It was surprising for this opportunity to even come up in the first place…your kin had told you about the lawless state of the planet. Yet, when asked about the current state.. your patrons told you that someone else was in charge. But no matter…you made sure to bring proper supplements and glow in the dark paint, to allow the Nostroamon to actually see the art. You have heard that the planet had almost no light, and the people there could see in the dark. A captain came into your quarters running urgently.
"I need you to go and hide immediately… although we have gotten the proper paperwork for you… we needed it to be discreet." you nodded immediately and followed the captain into a small dark closet. Hopefully, your patrons would provide some low-vision goggles in order for you to allow you to see signs more easily. As you were squeezed, you heard the murmured voices. After it seemed like, almost forever. The captain came back. "We managed to get you past customs… I would get ready and brace." After he said that you started to move within the small space… It was quick, but soon an announcement came by on the ship ."We have safely landed on Nostramo." Immediately you got out.. watching as the various serfs go towards your room and gather your things.
You have heard the sordid reputation of the people of this world, and made sure that you brought on very little in terms of valuables. However, as your patrons led you out of the ship…as you took a step foot on this world. It seemed… different… It was quiet. You have heard the stories and the screams and the rampaging and varying explosions… that this planet was crime ridden hellhole. It was impossible… it almost felt as if you were in a dream. It seemed almost fake. You were shown into your quarters… and were left alone for a bit. You packed out the things… and started to sketch. Your nightmares seemed to take a current inspiration.
Sitting down, you started to draw a whirling mechanical tower. It was a grotesque thing that seemed to have one white eye.. It seemed to shine a beam on light… searching. Mouths seemed from the vents and were screaming. You were standing out in the open… as the searchlight swirled closer to you… Running though the warped halls, , as the mouths wailed and cried.. almost as if denied their prey. It seemed to run though closer… hands grabbing various people and consuming them…the mouths screeching and groaning. You had awaken at the time. Maybe this was an omen.
Maybe this was an omen. An alternate future… the canon.. the proper future,where this little thing would be under his thumb. His spies had told him about a recent visa, for a popular artist throughout the system. Personally, he was not a big fan of their art… He had ordered of the visa to be detained. He smiled to himself… when he caught them. This would be a grand cause of celebration… a rare public execution. However, he paused. No. He couldn't do that… drag them in and kill them over some trumped up charges… They were too popular and had backing amongst the nobility, those who had bent the knee to his rule. Honestly, he wished,he wasn't so just. He should have just killed them all. However, a gleaming idea came into his head.. he would pay them a little visit.
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thefiery-phoenix · 3 days
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yandere h.c for Sam, too <33
Sure
YANDERE SAMUEL SEO HEADCANONS
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There are no words to express how much I simp for this man despite him being a walking red banner lol 
If you've managed to catch his attention, all I can say is RUN. Although that wouldn't really do you much good either since he's the President of the Worker's Affiliates and he does have a lot of influence, being Eugene's right hand man(before stabbing him in the back) does have it's own advantages. You could be a regular cafe worker or a member of the Worker's Affiliates, whatever it is, when he lands his eyes on you the only thought that will be running through his head will be 'They're MINE' 
He's one territorial, possessive, obsessive and manipulative MF to say the least. He has no qualms even going as far as literally THREATENING the people you're close to, friends and family included just so he can be with you. A literal walking red flag, his arrogant cocky smirk itself should be obvious. He wants possess you and make you his completely, he'll fall HARD for you and when he does, he won't be able to come back from that chasm of obsessive love for you. You remind him of a small little prey, so helpless and naive and he likes it that way. Don't get him wrong, he does love you, in his own twisted obsessive manner of course 
Man here has abandonment issues to the core, daddy issues, Gun issues(Lol who doesn't) and insecurities as well but when you comfort him, he's confused at first, he's genuinely taken aback. It's been so long since he's remembered someone taking the time and effort to comfort him and make sure he's doing all right. He'll reply in a calm and stoic manner that he's fine but deep down his heart is racing wildly, he's secretly really glad you're taking the time to comfort him. He'd rather die than admit this but he does appreciate your gesture. He likes how innocent and sweet you are, which makes him want to protect you and keep you safe. With him. Where you rightfully belong 
He's really not above bugging your entire apartment with hidden cameras so he can get a glimpse of your daily life, it's like a window into what you do everyday. He finds it so amusing and thinks it's adorable how you haven't figured out that he's secretly watching every move you do. He'll have his men find out more about you and the amount of information he has on you, he's ready to write a whole freaking research paper about you, that's how well he knows you now. Your social media accounts, your contacts list and yes, even all those fan fiction sites you like reading and visiting...he'll have them all. He'll immediately block all the people he doesn't like, he doesn't want some random pest stealing you away from him. He'll get information on those annoying pesky friends of yours and his mind will be racing of thoughts on how to dispose of them as soon as possible so you'll be his in every way possible 
No matter what, Samuel is ALWAYS around you one way or another. If some random person tries to hit on you or something, the very next day they'll immediately be reported missing. People will start disappearing from your life like flies and it's all HIS doing. He either pays them money to prevent them from seeing you again or he'll just straight up murder them. Though he does lean towards the second option quite frequently. If you try to accuse him of something, he'll just smirk at you and say something like "Sweetheart, you're mistaken. I wouldn't act as rash and unprofessional as this..." Yeah Right
You'll be kidnapped pretty soon because no WAY is he going to stand by and let someone try to steal you from him. You're HIS. You'll wake up on his bed while he'll have his usual standard smirk on his face as his arms are crossed over his muscular tattooed chest and he strides over to you. "Ah good, you're awake...there are going to be some changes to your lifestyle now'' he says in a calm manner as he lights a cigarette and smokes it calmly, like everything is all right after he literally just kidnapped you. Scream and throw as many number of tantrums as you want, he'll just find you amusing. If you want to cry, he might pretend to be slightly annoyed at first but he'll sigh softly as he wipes your tears with his thumb and then whisper in that husky voice of his in your ear to be good for him unless you want your loved ones to be safe. Sadistic MF 
You, of course won't know the reality of what he actually does and he prefers to keep it that way. What you don't know won't hurt you. Though he might be unhinged at times, he has his soft moments with you as well. He likes to hold you in his arms and press soft kisses to the nape of your neck and steal a few kisses on your lips every now and then. His kisses on your lips always leave you wanting for more and slightly gasping for air, he's that good lol. He just likes physical intimacy with you a lot. He might not be too expressive by words about his feelings of love for you but he believes that his actions are enough to make up for them. If anyone else touches his hair, he'd have broken their hand by now but if it's you, he'll have a soft smile on his face and pull you on his lap as he hums contentedly. It really HAS been a while since he's felt so happy and he couldn't have been more thankful since you came into his life 
He'll take you out for dates in fancy restaurants and spoil you with whatever your heart desires. Or if you want to have a quiet night in, that could be arranged too with you in his arms. I seriously pity the poor fool who tries to hurt you or steal you from him though. He will straight up TORTURE them with the way he fights. He loses complete self control when he fights, his mind is like a beast filled with pure unadulterated anger and rage as he breaks the bones of whatever schmuck dared to set their filthy eyes on you. Or he'll just kill them, not after banging their head to the wall over and over again and stomping on their face as he calmly smokes a cigarette (because MOOD) and he'll end up choking the person to death with one hand. After that's done, he'll grumble about how he's got blood on his suit but he's glad to go back home to be with you. Don't question the blood on his suit...just don't, for the sake of your sanity. He does get rather annoyed when they keep screaming for mercy though, he'll just smile at them in an unnerving manner and cut their tongue off to silence them 
Samuel adores you and loves you with all his twisted heart. Deep down he's still a bit insecure of himself. Don't even think of leaving him, it's a death wish. He'll just track your location in a few moments and he'll drag you back home. You'll end up being tied to his bed until you earn your freedom and his trust to move around again. Besides, you don't need to whine and complain so much, not when he's the one taking care of you. He's ready to do ANYTHING to ensure you stay by his side no matter what...
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abitofboth · 13 hours
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owen carvour hcs because he’s in my brain always
he's very reservedly sentimental. the things in his life that mean a lot to him will always have a special place in his heart, but he'd never tell anyone that. his favourite childhood book, a lighter curt gifted him, old letters and photographs etc.
his favourite childhood book is the hobbit. when he was a kid he'd draw in the margins and go through and underline his favourite parts. his childhood pet was a fluffy cat called bilbo!!
left handed. constantly curses out his pens when he's writing and gets ink smudges all over his hand.
an only child, and was never really that close with his parents. his relationship with them grew strained once they found out he was gay.
would happily never interact with a dog for the rest of his life if he could help it. (too slobbery, loud, and boisterous for his liking.)
biiiiig smoker. his hands get twitchy if he hasn't had a cig in a while. he constantly spews some bs about the refined taste of tobacco.
similarly he's a big time wine snob. he gets offended if you suggest it tastes like vinegar and he'll try with all his might to convince you that the aromatics matter.
definitely has a sprinkling of road rage in him. in his opinion he is always in the right, and everyone else on the road needs their license taken from them.
teeny tiny tattoo on his hip of two intertwined mars symbols (♂)
'love' is a name he uses for pretty much everyone on accounts of him being british, but he's much more fond of using 'darling' and 'sweetheart' as pet names when it's just him and curt.
he LOVES the quiet moments between him and curt when they get to spend the night together. watching over him as he falls asleep and running his fingers through his hair are some of his favourite things to do.
he can be surprisingly bashful! talk sweet to him and he’ll blush like hell. pepper kisses over him and he’ll be squirming and giggling like there’s no tomorrow.
he's welsh but moved to london when he was a teenager. he taught himself to speak in an rp accent so he wouldn't be looked down on, and it just kind of stuck. not many people know that he's welsh, not necessarily because he doesn't tell anyone but no one’s ever asked because as far as everyone else is aware, he’s as english as you can get. when he's tired he can slip back into his old accent, and he uses the odd welsh word every now and then around people close to him (mostly curt.)
the first house he lived in in london got destroyed during the blitz, and luckily most of what few possessions he owned survived. he doesn't like to talk about his time during the war often.
after the fall, he gets tinnitus and his hearing is far from as good as it used to be. he lost his right eye, and the glass eye chimera got him has never quite been a perfect colour match. he has trouble with his knee, and has a decent amount of scarring over his body.
post fall there's a part of him that still loves curt, and desperately misses what used to be. it's mostly overpowered by the hatred within him, but the love rears its head out every now and again and catches him off guard.
he likes to cook, but he's kinda shit at it. he doesn't get much practice on accounts of being a spy, so whenever he does cook, something inevitably goes wrong.
once, he'd moved into a new flat and had curt round as his first guest and tried to cook him dinner. it ended up burning and there were full on flames in the frying pan. (curt still takes the piss out of him for this years later.)
he's a bit of a loner, but enjoys his own company for the most part. outside of curt he doesn't really have any close friends, and he isn't in contact with his family.
he has an angry streak in him. he’s easily riled up and the first emotion he goes to is barely concealed rage. he yells more often than he’d like to.
he hates using the term 'boyfriend' to describe curt. he thinks it makes him sound juvenile and he prefers 'partner' way more. plus, he can get away with introducing curt without giving away the fact that they’re together. (he also loves calling curt his 'best friend' in the most romantic sense possible.)
this! bitch! loves! musicals! the wizard of oz is a favourite of his, and he has a soft spot for disney’s cinderella. he has an extra fondness for the term ‘friend of dorothy’ because of this too.
tea over coffee always. two sugars and a splash of milk, not too weak but not too strong.
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