#people do that by themselves just like the fans of anyone else

[lady-raziel]

idk man i know times are hard but i can't help but feel that watcher putting all their eggs in the basket that is their own streaming service is a bad call. like sure i totally get wanting a platform where you have full control both creatively and financially but i feel they might be misjudging how much loyalty non-hardcore fans might have for what they're creating. in every internet fandom there's a subsection of people willing to pay with actual money to support the creators they enjoy, and that's what services like patreon are for. but to expect that casual viewers will sign up and pay a monthly fee to get access to just watcher content when a large portion of them were likely just watching the content because it was free and accessible on youtube assumes that someone who isn't a diehard fan won't just go "oh well" and find something else on youtube that IS still free? that seems like a miscalculation to me. the massive fanbases online content creators have may literally be only possible because the content is available to anyone-- it seems foolish to assume that every single one of those fans is going to stick around once you try to upsell them.

i hope this new venture goes well for the watcher crew. I really do. but i also know that a lot of brands and startups that bank on the loyalty they earned when their product was free or low cost and expect that to sustain them while they try to do something that historically has not gone well for the vast majority of businesses. at best, they'll have halved their fanbase by alienating those who can't or don't want to pay and made it much more difficult for remaining fans to create fandom products like memes or gifs that promote their shows on social media. at worst, they'll discover in the near future the independent streaming service model is unsustainable with only the fans they have left and by that point they'll have already deleted themselves from youtube and made it impossible to come back to the level of success they had before. any attempt to return to youtube will be an admission of a critical miscalculation and i doubt many remaining fans will tolerate the back and forth. they'll have crippled their credibility, relevancy, and fanbase loyalty over a very short period of time-- and i don't know if it would even be possible to come back and still be beloved after all that.

worst of all-- if the watcher streaming service crashes and burns after they've already removed all their content from youtube, all the watcher shows are essentially going to become lost media, only accessible via reuploaders willing to risk a copy strike or if you know someone who has a copy downloaded. given how genuinely good the watcher content is in the sea of lackluster youtube mush, that really seems like a damn shame.

i hope the watcher team sees how everyone is responding and decides to course correct before it's too late and get away with only the hit to their reputation that they've already taken by announcing this, instead of pushing forward on a path that might lose them everything instead. nothing i've said here is with any hate intended toward anyone involved or those who are excited about the new service, but this just seems like a really ill-advised decision to me.

#watcher #watcher tv #i'm not really mad or sad and like i said none of this is said with ill intent #but yeah i think they should have market tested this idea first

[plusvanity]

Yesterday, I wanted to say that people who blocked me did the wiser thing, but today, I want to touch on a recent issue, a hugely (intentionally) misinterpreted and degrading problem.

The controversies that people started to spread about me literally make me sick to the stomach.

They don't give a fuck about my countless explanations of how this ship is my comfort ship, designed to help me heal from severe abuse, self hatred, body dysmorphia, depression and anxiety.

I try to switch from unhealthy coping mechanisms to something that is both productive, helpful and most of all, harmless (because it's imaginary).

They felt the need to turn something that I created as my own personal fictive escape into a gross sadomasochistic, abusive and extremely toxic 'excuse' for 'why is this ship and not that?'. My guts twist for seeing such cruel assumptions when I have one thing that makes me happy (a story, a healthy narrative) viciously turned into a gruesome scenario that is not what it is at all.

The fact that they accuse me of shipping fair-skinned, blonde people is also the biggest hypocrisy that they could come up with when they themselves forget that Øystein's natural hair is blond and his eyes are blue in their own double-standard ship.

The fact that accuse me of romanticizing self-harm while they themselves 'like' (I have proofs) and approve art of EuroDead self-destructive romanticism shows their duplicitous and impostor nature. This is not to be taken as an insult, but an obvious fact concluded by their behavior.

My ship has little to do with physical looks and everything else to do with the in-depth psychology. It's not me, PlusVanity who says that there's a gigantic overlap between highly-autistic traits and trauma response (in personality disorders), it's Freud, Jung, Lacan's teachings and many other's scholars, neurologists and psychiatrists came to this conclusion many many years before you and I were even born. If you, dearly-opinionated friend, think that you can prove to these honorable psychoanalytical figures (and me, of course) otherwise with credible and well-documented research and not your 'I don't like that just because' synthetic opinion, I will gladly listen to what you have to bring up. I am well-versed in the philosophical and psychological domain, and I can provide solid arguments to everything I claim.

It's more than just unfair to point the finger at me, accusing me of a ludicrous sadomasochistic and 'subliminal racial element' in my art just to satisfy your late frustration with an ' good-enough explanation' for something that you never even bothered to look into because otherwise you would know that you are wrong. I'm not spiteful, I'm just pointing your flaws in logic as straightforwardly and inconsiderable as you seem to point mine, but it's not like you will actually try to understand what I'm saying because this must imply 'admitting defeat' and a kick in the ego, so you don't even bother with my transparent explanations. That's alright.

This message is for the people who are open and mature enough to read the motive behind my art and writing. This monologue is not for the ones who blindly accuse me of horrible things or a hidden agenda that I don't have or try to promote.

If you think that you know better than me, you simply don't. Why might that be? Because I am the author, because you don't think with my brain and you have no access to what I stand for, other than my words and actions and neither my words or actions stood for any type of abuse or political extremism.

You also put words into my mouth by calling me a fan of Varg, when I'm most certainly not, but I mean you hate me, of course you will say such things. Everyone who's following me knows that I not only hate Varg, but mock him daily for his spiteful persona.

I do not engage in any drama, I am not here to fight anyone.

I will only have civilized conversations (if openness exists). I am here to be and share with my friends the one thing that makes me happy. To subjugate me for simply having a different view than yours is tyranny and black and white extremism.

Pairing real people is morally bad, but this includes all real people. Not just Varg and Pelle, but Øystein and Pelle too. Doesn't sound fair now, does it? I understand why.

Anyone is free to believe anything, but a conspiratorial opinion will never compare to the ultimate truth that only the author can provide.

Please block me if you wish for. This is a far more mature approach than lurking here or sending hate. I hope this is constructive.

To sum it up, I'm beyond hate and ingoing frustration. I will gladly wish my late-proclaimed haters a wonderful day even if they roll their eyes. 🖤

You cannot change options, you can only provide your insight.

Be kind, be open, be alright 🖤

I wish this post can be shared so a lot of people can read this 🙏

#my ramblings #pelle ohlin #varg vikernes #burzum #per yngve ohlin #true norwegian black metal #dead mayhem #mayhem

[musical-chick-13]

I am CONFLICTED, because I don’t even know if I’m going to watch The Last Episode on October 23. Because on one hand, my beloved is back, I am mentally scrawling hearts with his name in them on the inside of my brain, and also we get more interactions between the Complex Friend(??)ship of All Time; but on the other hand, I absolutely cannot watch footage of 13/Y*z be canon on my screen, I will actually lose all of my remaining brain cells.

#I REFUSE #this '''''romance arc''''' is actually making me dislike 13 and when I say that hurts me...... #I actually do like this era a lot!!! so of course I want to watch its send off #but I'm just...I can't do it y'all #I would consider just waiting until it's over to see how bad it is and then choose whether or not to watch accordingly #but I know that The Discourse™ and spoilers will be unavoidable and the fandom is going to be /insufferable/ #and I do NOT have the energy to deal with that #(I say that like I have any faith that cbnll will end their story WITHOUT them being Together™ in any way) #(because. he will. the fandom wants it so he'll cave because that's what all creators do) #(I know that because the executive producer OUTRIGHT SAID that this '''''''''romance arc'''''''''' wasn't ever planned) #(and that it only came about because they heard about how popular with the fans it was) #(which. WHY it's popular is anyone's guess least of all mine I have literally never understood the hype for a pairing less than this one) #(even if there are ships in and of themselves that I dislike more) #it's also so frustrating because the only people I've seen criticizing this pairing either a) ship something else or #b) hate everything chris does. and again: I LIKED THIS ERA. I DON'T DISLIKE THIS SHIP BECAUSE IT'S HIM. I DISLIKE IT BECAUSE I DISLIKE IT #In The Vents #to be safe... #I'm going to tag #anti chibnall #just in case #in addition to #anti thasmin

[neroushalvaus]

Okay I am going to use the Somerton situation to talk about something that is very important to me. Following the discussion I have seen former Somerton fans being disappointed in themselves and questioning how they can ever trust another video essayist again. I have also seen some people being smug because to them Somerton was obviously unreliable from the start. As a person who also saw the "red flags" in Somerton, I would like to skip the smugness and talk a bit about what the red flags were to me.

Someone else has probably posted something similar and Hbomberguy's & Todd in the Shadows's videos touched a few of these points, but they didn't focus on them or how to spot these things. I think it is a good thing: I think it would have reinforced the idea that Somerton's fans were to blame for being lied to, and these youtubers didn't want to pin any blame on the fans. Also, some of the things I'm going to talk about were not by any means proof of him being unreliable, they were common tropes I personally associate with people who are bullshitting on internet. Think of it as something like spotting terfs: If you consider following a tumblr user and find out they have at some point posted "males will always be a danger to females no matter what they say", it is very possible that they are not a terf. Maybe they were having a bad day and were just wording their post badly – But you should probably search "trans" from their blog before following them, just to be sure.

So, the tropes in James Somerton's content that I consider red flags:

Lack of sources. This one may seem obvious and Hbomb talked about this in his video, but the lack of sources in his videos was outrageous. Video essays are called essays for a reason, they are not supposed to be just a guy talking about whatever comes to his mind, they should be well researched essays. Obviously video essays should contain one's own thoughts and interpretations and those do not need citations. But James Somerton didn't come out of the womb knowing everything about LGBT history, Disney and film theory, if he actually knew something about all this stuff, he should have learnt it from somewhere. There should be sources he could point to. It is very common that even when a video essayist doesn't tell you where they got all their information, they open their video by saying stuff like "when I prepared for this video I read the book Also sprach Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietzsche and this one thrilling blog post about lesbian cruising in 1960s Sweden". From what I've seen, James does not really do this. From watching his videos you could arrive to the conclusion that James Somerton does not read any books, he just knows everything. There are situations where people don't feel the need to add sources, like when the information is considered common knowledge or when the topic relates heavily to the essayist's actual academic field or profession. This is okay and very understandable, but can sometimes be dangerous, since if the video essayist markets himself as a marketing specialist, people are more likely to take his word for stuff that has to do with marketing, even without sources. It is understandable that in many situations an essayist may think "why should I cite a source? I know this thing!", but doing your research well is partly about checking if the information you are certain of is actually true. Also, as Hbomb pointed out, if you can cite a source, your audience can go learn more about the subject. It's not about anyone doubting you know your stuff, it's about learning. That's why well-respected video essayists usually cite their sources very clearly.

Lack of pictures and screenshots. This is about different kinds of sources again, many things on this list are kind of about sources. An example: When James Somerton made a video about JKR, he mentioned something about Rowling at one time saying that trans students in 30-50Feralhogs (or whatever the wizard school is called) could use magic to present as their gender. If this was any other video essayist, you'd expect a tweet to pop up, or something else confirming Rowling ever said this. Nothing pops up, obviously because Rowling didn't say this, but you can't see anything fishy in that because things rarely pop up in Somerton's videos. He doesn't show you court documents when speaking about a court case, he doesn't show you the comments apparently mad at him for implying the gay anime is gay when he is complaining about people being mad at him. There is a reason people show screenshots and tweets in video essays. When a good video essayist says JK Rowling has tweeted that all people who menstruate should be referred to as women, the video essayist shows the tweet so people know they are not making it up. If there were hoards of annoying bitc-- I mean, angry white women whining about gay sex in HuffPost articles or Somerton's youtube comments, he should have no trouble showing you those. Remember that you should not trust someone just because they show you pictures or screenshots. Pictures can be photoshopped, screenshots can be doctored. Many youtubers are aware that you listen to their videos while cleaning or while walking your dog and don't actually see the screen all the time, and some may take advantage of that by saying something like "and here she threatened to kill me" while showing a text message where someone said "die mad about it". A screenshot alone isn't much but you should demand to see the screenshot.

Passive voice. I am once again bitching about this. Somerton repeatedly says things like "it's been said that" or "it was common knowledge that" or "a legend says that" or "according to most interpretations". He doesn't say who says it, making it very hard to fact check and that seems to be his goal in some cases.

Relying heavily on anecdotes. Writing a dense, analytical video about film theory or history can be exhausting and you may want to pepper in little fun facts. However Somerton seemed to rely on these heavily; he can't just talk about how he has totally bought every lie told by The Pink Swastika, he also needs to tell a cute little anecdote about SS men forcing sexual favours out of men. He can't just tell a story about a court case, he needs to add in ridiculous stuff about the jury booing. This is what I mean by not all the things on this list being necessarily proof of someone being unreliable. Many people use anecdotes and little stories in their storytelling, it makes the videos flow better and it's hard to decide which anecdotes are valid and which are not. A source obviously makes an anecdote a bit more believable, but here are some things that instantly make me fact check an anecdote:

It's a bit too convenient, poetic or ironic. Sometimes real life is weirder than fiction but if an anecdote is "perfect" and has an amazing punchline and you could write twelve poems about it, there is a possibility it was invented by pop science books.

It assumes your political enemies are stupid. Dunking on conservatives, MRAs and transphobes is always fun and after you've seen a lot of this kind of content it's easy to believe anything about these people. You must resist the impulse to believe everything that may make your opponents look stupid.

The person telling the anecdote implies it is an example of a larger, systemic problem. You know what's worse than taking a random happenstance from human history or internet and basing an entire political theory on it? The said random happenstance being made up. You should in general be wary of people telling one story and explaining why it's an example of everything that's wrong in the world. We live in a huge world. You can always find a white woman who loves cute gays but hates the idea of Nick Heartstopper and Charlie Heartstopper getting nasty but that doesn't mean it's an indicator of a larger issue.

Simplifying complex issues. We all know that "only the boring gays survived the AIDS crisis, and that's why gays started to only care about marriage equality and military" is a horrible, insensitive thing to say, but you also have to think about it for like two seconds to realize that it can't be correct. It kind of reminds me of the "roe v wade caused the crime drop of 1990s" claim in Freakonomics. It sounds logical and simple, like a basic math calculation. Societal issues rarely are like that, though. You should never believe anyone who tells you about a huge societal shift and says it happened because of one thing and one thing only.

These were some of the things I noticed in Somerton's content that caused me to distrust him. I hope these were helpful to you and feel free to add your own "red flags" if you feel like it!

#phew. maybe that's enough salt for one day. #james somerton #hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #edit:// embarrassingly many mistakes in the original post. in my defence i have a fever and english isn't my first language. forgive me #edit2:// made the text bigger!

[caruliaa]

why is everything abt the tickets situation making me feel so shit. im not even an american

#like eveyone i follow whos not getting them is being such a 'oh if you werent a fan from the second tim mcgraw released go die' dick abt it #but also seeing anyone who im not friends w get them is also illiciting the same bitterness within me bc ik i wont be able to get them #when uk tickets are on sale #and even if i do it wont fucking. mean anything bc i wont be able to go !!!! #like its a hail mary if im even moved out by then and if im not i cant go !!! i just cant !!! #and it sucks bc everyone else doesnt have to choose between 'will i have food and shelter and other basic anemities' or #'can i be somewhat of a full person whose not living with people whove caused me immense trauma' but i fucking do !!! #its just. i feel so whiny says its not fair but it isnt !!! #amd i dont want to be bitter abt shit but i cant deal with this anymore how im going to have to fit for my life to be in a position #thats still going to be fucking sihtty in many ways just to be a full person when everyone else just. gets to be a person. #gets to experience sm things bc they have the freedom to bc they arent under the control of people who wont even let them leave the fucking #house alone. jesus christ i cant stand it #and im tired of how. every other thing that makes someone life difficult gets like sympathy from everyone but i feel like theres such littl #for me and my situation outside of the people im the most closest to which is like two people and ofc that means so much to me #but i just. i want the same compassion everyone has for other ppl who are in difficult situations bc despite what everyone tells themselves #so few ppl give a shit abt ppl in my situation who are being. yk #idk i just. its too much sometimes idk and i get set of by such little things i feel like this is just my defult emotion #which sucks sm i dont wnat to be miserable and hopeless and tired and bitter by defult but. i just am ig. #flappy rambles #vent

[astonmartinii]

big girls do(n't) cry | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: reader x charles leclerc

charles' gf just can't seem to catch a break

yourinstagram

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 201,876 others

yourinstagram: weekend breaking with the girlypops

view all 17,546 comments

leclercbaby: so charles is racing in miami and y/n is out spending his money with her friends?

ynandcharles: you know she has a job right? and a life outside of charles?

charlesdefender: let's not pretend her little writing gig covers all of this shit

charles_leclerc: lovely lady

yourinstagram: why thank you my dashing gentleman

ferrarigirl16: imagine dating an elite athlete and smoking? it's so gross charles needs to drop her asap

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 612,088 others

charles_leclerc: friday feeling in monaco 🇲🇨

view all comments

babygirlpierre NO Y/N ??? DON'T GET ME EXCITED

holacarlos55 do you people not have jobs or ?

yourusername what do they put in the water in monaco woooooof

charles_leclerc says the tall glass of water herself

justleclercthings let's not pretend that her missing his home gp isn't a HUGE deal omg

lordperceval i usually don't care about wag drama but like ... we all know y/n is the worst wag, right? she hardly comes to races, is always spending his money with her friends and is smoking as if he doesn't need to be in top condition?

likedbypierregasly you might have a point

yourusername

liked by yourbff, landonorris and 231,887 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, yourbff1, yourbff2, yourbff3

yourusername: you didn't think i'd forgotten about monaco, did you?

view all comments

cl16x mother back to mothering as she should

charlesstan okay well some of y'all are real quiet now

charles_leclerc wouldn't be a monaco race without you (and your stray cats)

yourbff since we're staying at your house i'll keep what i wanted to say to myself

yourbff2 meow bitch

yourusername don't pretend you don't love us

peargasly why can't she go anywhere without her friends it's so weird

pierregaslight because she obviously has no friends in the paddock any time the camera goes to the ferrari garage no one is ever with her

grussy63 she seems super annoying idk what charles sees in her

f1wagsupdates

liked by gatekeepgaslightgirlboss, babyricc3 and 1,276 others

tagged: yourusername

f1wagsupdates: y/n y/ln at the release party for her new book sharp objects! this is her third book and it's already a new york times best seller, so happy for her

view all comments

howdyricciardo so everyone who gets on her ass when she can't go to races but where's the same energy for charles now - we all know they have the week off cause he's on holiday with pierre.

landonowins it's such a double standard

number16 i still think she's bad for charles her actually doing her job won't change my mind

charlesbaby can't wait for the day when she won't be on this page anymore

perceval16 these comments ... they're on every post i really think charles needs to say something at this point, he's just hanging y/n out to dry

yourusername added to their story

[caption: lonesome love. i am bored by his heroism, virtue, and honour. i think the best these men can do is not talk about themselves anymore]

yourbff

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 4,198 others

tagged: yourusername

yourbff: since no one else will, LISTEN UP SLUTS!!! this girl is the most talented and kind-hearted girl in the whole entire world. ANYONE would be lucky to be with her, so it honestly BAFFLES my mind that those blessed enough to be with her are so silent when his so-called fans rip a person they do not know apart on social media. i say this sincerely GET A LIFE!!! also she's the sexiest girl in the world and could have literally anyone she wants so PICK UP THE SLACK OR we'll activate operation hot girl summer - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !!!

view all comments

yourbff1 @charles_leclerc

yourbff2 @charles_leclerc

yourbff3 @charles_leclerc

yourusername i love you all so much - platonic soulmates for real

danielricciardo @charles_leclerc

charlieleclerc oh wow charles just got humbled

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 and 1,087,556 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: i've not been the best of boyfriends in recent weeks, so it is time i say my piece. y/n is the most talented, patient and beautiful individual i have ever met and i won't stand for her being attacked on social media by my "fans". you are not a fan of mine if you attack my girlfriend. i love her and nothing an anonymous comment can say will ever change that. you attack her for not "supporting" me enough and yet none of you know anything from behind the scenes (not that you should need to), if anything i have been the unsupportive one. i love y/n so so much and i will do anything to make sure she knows it. please stay out of our business.

comments disabled on this post.

yourusername

liked by yourbff, charles_leclerc and 101,775 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: he's mine. cry more.

view all comments

lilacleclerc i love them so much PARENTS

danielricciardo WHOOP TELL EM'

charles_leclerc love you too baby

yourusername i love you more

landonorris mic drop

myloveleclerc finally !!!

dutchlion i'm so glad he finally said something - and also me if i were a wag CRY MORE

note: bit of a random one but alas i hope y'all enjoy

#f1 #f1 x you #f1 instagram au #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc instagram edit #charles leclerc #charles leclerc instagram au

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

Her. - LN

Lando Norris x Button!Reader

Summary: Jenson’s younger cousin attends the Monaco Grand Prix and becomes the centre of attention for half of the grid. But one lucky man gets her attention in return.

Jenson’s much younger cousin has never been to an F1 race since Jenson retired. Though she’s never missed watching one. But finally she is attending the Monaco Grand Prix. One of her favourites.

“Y/n, is that really you? It’s been too long, you’re such an…adult now.” Jenson laughs while y/n smiles walking alongside him.

“Thanks. I try.” Y/n smiles as they walk through the pit lane since Monaco has no paddock.

She sticks with him for most of the weekend, actually sort of scared to be left with anyone else.

Eventually people start to notice her, but more specifically some of the drivers, or most of the drivers have noticed her.

“Jenson, who is this and why haven’t we been introduced?” George asks walking up to the two with Lewis eyeing her and Lando and Charles by his side with Carlos.

She almost stumbles back when Jenson laughs knowing exactly what look they’re all giving her, even Lewis.

“This is my cousin, y/n.” Jenson states holding her shoulders. “There’s quite an age gap but she’s a big fan of F1, used to come to a lot of races. Probably where you recognise her from, Lewis.”

“I thought you were familiar. You were a lot smaller last time I saw you.” Lewis smiles making her laugh.

“Yeah, I was only 15 back then.”

“How old are you now?” Carlos asks while the rest look at him in shock. “What? I’m curious.”

“It’s fine, I’m 22.”

“And she is here for the whole weekend.” Jenson adds with a smile almost as if he is intending to to set her up with one of the drivers.

“I’m hungry, I think I’m just going to go grab something to eat.” Y/n states backing off with success, rushing off while the rest of them share some looks.

“She gets a little nervous around new people.” Jenson lies since he doesn’t even know his younger cousin well enough to know how she is with new people.

-

Y/n sighs as she walks down the pit lane, which is a little busy after FP2 has finished up.

“Hey, y/n!” A voice calls as she passes the papaya coloured garages. “I was wondering, since you don’t know many people. Maybe you would like to hang out tonight?”

“Don’t you have some things to be handling with the whole race?” Y/n questions since she figures everyone would be pretty busy focusing.

“I live in Monaco and it won’t take all night.” Lando states while she sighs a little.

“Alright, yeah. I mean that doesn’t sound so bad.” Y/n nods before she bites her lip a little when he gives her a look that honestly makes her knees wobble a little.

“How about I get your number and I’ll call you to let you know when we’ve finished up?” Lando offers as he holds out his phone making her take it, tapping her number in before handing it back then jumping when he taps it and her own phone starts ringing in her pocket. “Just have to make sure you didn’t give me a fake number.”

“I-I wouldn’t even think of doing that.” Y/n frowns before shaking off the thought. “I’ll uhh…see you later then.”

Lando grins moving back into the garage while she walks away feeling flushed, but much to her surprise. She finds that he’s not the only one stopping her asking if she’s free and might want to spend time with her.

Nearly the entire grid seems to invest some time in conversation with her as she walks the pit lane. Only the married ones proving to commit themselves to keeping away from her.

Now, she doesn’t really think much of herself in the way that she expected for any one of the drivers to give her a second look. But when Lando actually follows through with calling her. She meets him at the McLaren garage where he smiles at her.

“You know I wish you’d been to races since Jenson retired. We could’ve met much earlier.” Lando states as they walk to his car.

“I’ve watched every race. But yeah I guess I just never got the opportunity to come back to the paddock since he stopped racing.” Y/n mumbles having actually really missed the atmosphere of being here for a race weekend. “There’s no comparison to being here in person though.”

“You missed it?” Lando questions quite softly before opening the passenger door for her, making an extra effort to be a gentleman.

“I mean it’d be ridiculous not to miss one of the best sports in the world. Especially when I used to have access to some of the best seats that are for the taking.”

“Well hopefully this won’t be the last race you’re attending with such brilliant seating.”

-

Nobody really knew that one night together turned into y/n going back to Lando’s place on Saturday night and when the race finished leading to some of the best post-race celebrations for the entire year, Y/n attends catching everyone’s attention

What no one really expects is for Lando to be following her closely, his left hand resting on her hips and his right hand holding her right hand as he walks behind her.

“What the hell? How did her manage that? I didn’t even know they’d talked to each other.” Charles frowns turning to Pierre who looks almost equally annoyed that he missed out on an opportunity.

“I don’t know but she managed to look even more beautiful than usual.” Pierre states while Lando and Y/n move to the bar where Max is already standing.

“Y/n, are you doing charity work with McLaren or has Zak just paid for you to be Lando’s friend.” Max jokes earning a grin from her and an eye roll from Lando. “So are you here for the next new face for the paddock to obsessive over?”

“No. Definitely not.”

Ouch. Lando was hoping for a less brutal answer that held a little more hope for him.

“So the two of you-“

“Are well overdue for drinks. Is the winner feeling generous enough to buy for us?” Y/n smiles making Max laugh before nodding and gesturing for them to order. “Thank you, very kind.”

Max pays leaving y/n with Lando who is compressing his need to ask.

“Stop overthinking.” Y/n states suddenly making him look up. “It’s written all over your face…I just don’t want every driver getting in our business when the business is literally 3 days old.”

He really can’t fault that argument. But his smile returns when he realises that she’s giving him a chance.

“Let’s just enjoy the party, ok?” Y/n offers clinking her glass against his while he smiles at her.

And the iconic post-Monaco race partying ensues, getting more and more wild till y/n’s black out drunk and doesn’t exactly know where she is or who she’s with.

“Is she ok?” Jenson asks as Lando yanks y/n back up from falling up, having to keep himself from being knocked backwards when her body slams into his.

“I’m trying to get her out of here.” Lando states making Jenson hum before offering to help since his cousin looks like she’s about collapse on the young man. “Thanks.”

They manage to get her into an awaiting car and Jenson gives just some warning to Lando for him to take care of her and make sure he doesn’t let her drink anything else. She’s definitely already under threat of alcohol poisoning.

-

The next morning Lando wakes up to the sight of y/n being very much still out cold, but her heavy breaths giving him the reassurance that she hasn’t died in her sleep or something.

Lando pretty shamelessly pulls her forward and kisses her softly, some relief over the fact he managed to brush both their teeth when they got back.

His fingers run down her spine feeling her twitch and shiver under his touch before she huffs out a heavier breath.

“Why are you waking me up?” Y/n almost whines, not opening her eyes while Lando can’t stop himself from smiling.

“Had to make sure you’re alive.” Lando whispers finally watching her peek through one slightly opened eye. “Do you want any water or anything to eat or just…to keep sleeping?”

“Water does sound pretty good right now.” She admits as she shifts to sit up, grimacing at the movement then pouting a little when she notices what she’s wearing. “Did you help me change?”

“I didn’t have much of a choice you pouted till I got you something else to wear then tried to get it on yourself and you couldn’t find the head hole.”

“Sounds like something my dumbass would do.” Y/n murmurs before sighing as she tries to get out the bed. “Yeah, actually food sounds good too.”

Lando smiles moving quickly to walk with her, holding her waist as he guides her to the kitchen.

“I think this might be one of the best race weekends of the year so far.” Lando states after lifting her up to sit on the counter while she smiles lightly at him. “How much of last night do you remember?”

“Maybe abut the first hour. After that it’s a black hole of nothingness.”

“I’m not surprised. Jenson had to help me get you out of the club.” Lando laughs as he hands her a glass of water watching her face turn a bright shade of red. “What do I have to do to get you to come to the next race and every race after that?”

“That’s a big commitment.” Y/n jokes then taking a mouthful of water which makes her stomach tense suddenly, not trusting this liquid to not be alcohol. Forcing it down, she does shiver a little at the feeling of it hitting her stomach. “Oh god.”

“Don’t worry, you can take as long as you need to recover hidden out here.” Lando smiles running his hands up her thighs which reminds her of how little she is wearing since under the borrowed t-shirt is nothing.

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer.” Y/n hums leaning into his touch and resting her forehead on his shoulder. “I really didn’t expect to get your attention like this…or anyone’s attention.”

“You got everyone’s attention, how you’ve managed to be so well hidden amazes me. Glad I got in before one of the others beat me to it.” Lando laughs while rubbing her back. “Shall we grab some snacks and get set up on the sofa?”

Y/n shifts back just enough to look at him and smile at him before he helps her down from the counter and leads her over the living room, putting her on the sofa.

“I’ll be right back, just give me a few minutes.” Lando grins kissing her, which definitely catches her off guard, before rushing off leaving her to flush and squish back into the sofa.

One he’s put more pillows and blankets around her, she cuddles up to him when he appears with nachos which she takes while to feel up to eating but eventually she does and they definitely help to settle her stomach.

“You are definitely one of the best company I’ve had with a hangover before.” Y/n mumbles while Lando smiles in triumph, he didn’t know he needed to hear that till now.

#f1 #fanfic #lando norris fanfic #lando norris #lando x reader #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n #Lando #Norris #lando norris imagine #ln4 #ln4 imagine #ln4 x reader #f1 grid x reader

[daisybianca]

pairing: lando norris x femalereader

summary: ruining Lando's live stream is your favorite thing to do when in the mood.

warnings: female masturbation, mention of sexual actions, cursing words

(a/n): lando's recent stream look. I'm unwell.

YOUR HEADPHONES WERE filled with the sweet melody of Taylor Swift's "London Boy" and then you remembered that in the next room of the house you really did have a London Boy waiting for you.

Your boyfriend had one of his usual streams, and it was always your choice to step away from the place where he was doing them and not take part in it. You didn't like the idea of giving fans more content about your relationship than there already was.

By changing the song of the playlist, you settled on something more freaky, like the wreeknd.

Hearing Lando's voice and loud laugh echoing from the next room, you opened the app on your phone and joined his live stream.

Your username was a random name that only Lando recognized.

God, he was so hot.

Messy curly hair, an unbuttoned white t-shirt, and grey plaid pants.

He had heard your wish to let his beard grow long, and you loved every moment of it. Watching the screen intently, listening to his strong accent through the device and from the adjacent wall, you felt your heart flutter loudly. Your jaw nearly hit the floor when you saw from the screen Lando laughing at something and pulling back, spreading his legs widly while bending his head back.

Swallowing, you decided to write a message in the comments that only he would recognize "Turn off the Stream and come over here. Im in the mood."

A few seconds later, he read it. He didn't say anything. He just smiled.

Again, you chose to write the same comment in case he didn't pay much attention to it the first time.

"I'm not shutting down the live. If anyone wants to tell me something, they can come here and tell me themselves."

You smiled and turned off your phone.

Is that how he wanted it? With games?

He asked and shall receive.

You got out of bed, opening your closet and wearing the most revealing and slutty piece of clothing you owned. You also put on a pair of high heels and began to walk slowly towards the next room.

The door was closed so you touched the handle and began to open it gently.

Two beautiful eyes met yours. Then they scanned you from head to toes.

Whatever Lando was trying to tell his viewers was now forever gone.

His jaw closed and he licked his lips. His eyes were on the verge of popping out of their sockets.

Bringing a finger to your lips, you murmued "Shhh."

You felt his eyes follow you as you closed the door and sat comfortably on the couch across from him.

You weren't, of course, visible on the camera. And your boyfriend did his best not to show his viewers the uncomfortable situation he was in. He kept talking, but you were sure he didn't understand what he was saying either.

You stopped looking at him and tried to forget the fact that you had to be discreet because thousands of people were somehow in the room with you.

Spreading your legs, you pushed your warm hand where you wished Lando's was right now.

You immediately shuddered at the very first contact. Twisting your body a little, you gave your boyfriend a better angle of your wet--dripping actually--spot.

His eyes never abandoned you. At one point, you heard him hissing plaid from his breath. "Fuck." His voice made you shudder. "Thats it." He said and closed the live show without saying anything else to his audience.

You stopped the movements and touches on your body and looked at him throwing the headphones on the chair and walking briskly over to you.

That's my boy.

"You want to fucking make me come in front of thousands of people? Huh?" He walked towards you and started unbuttoning his pants. You just smirked and bit your bottom lip. "Acting like a little brat, getting treated like one, right?" He grabbed your neck and forced you to him. After taking one huge taste of your lips, he let you down and removed his white t-shirt. "Open your legs. You're lucky I didn't choose to fuck you live, baby."

#f1 drivers #f1 #formula 1 #formula 1 imagine #formula one #f1 memes #formula 1 memes #formula one oneshot #formula one imagine #f1 x reader #lando norris x reader #lance stroll fanfiction #lance stroll smut #lando norris #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x oc #lando norris smut #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fluff #lando norris f1 #formula one fic #formula 1 one shot #formula one fanfiction #formula 1 fanfic #formula one smut #formula 1 smut #f1 smut #f1 fandom #f1 fanfic

[hungerofhadarr]

Sometimes I cannot tell if you guys want villains who do not want to be redeemed or not bc we get gortash and everyone trips over themselves to make this version of him that is absolved from his actions and he’ s changed … Anyways another day another time Wyll gets put to the back burner with crumbs of content yet everyone huddles around like “ OMG THANK YOU LARIAN … oh yeah sorry about Wyll : ((( “

You guys get you are a part of the problem right . You are letting Larian know they can get away with being racist as long as they feed fandom and whatever . Instead of actual quality of life updates and patching in content that would Actually help the game run better and feel finished , they just bloat the game and let companions go untouched with minimal content while playing into whatever the loudest voices in fandom demand the most .

The studio account should not be interacting with fandom so often . This blur between creators and fans is bad ! This leads to fans blindly defending and protecting a Game Studio that they have no connection to because haha larian mad a funny reply . And this also causes a feeling of ownership that should not be there ! You do not own a piece of bg3 and you should not be dictating it ! This is different from criticism btw . Just so we are Clear . Larian deserves and needs criticism .

It is super telling that they voices they are choosing to listen to are not voices that actually care about the game at its story . If they were , we would not have Zero Story for the Son of the Duke of Baldur’ s Gate and yet we have so much for a character that isn’ t actually tied into any major story beat ! We have no more for the character directly tied to Gortash with a prototype of the Steel Watch in her chest , but we can take a side character a few people wanted to bang and speed to have him included ad a full companion ! Instead of Dark Urge getting more content with Orin , Savrok and anyone else that had a tie to Bhaal , they get their relationship with a guy unrelated to all that be made to be read more and more explicitly romantic when that is just ruining the character !

Wyll should have a proper sex scene . He should have a romanced greeting that changes after the proposal . He should have more personal story content . He should have scenes of him in Baldur’ s Gate . The Emperor reveal as Balduran should not have been the main focus of HIS FINAL STORY QUEST . He should have hug and kiss options in the epilogue . People should comment on the engagement ! He should have all of this !! AND MORE FRANKLY .

But because everyone is so quick to forgive Larian , they’ ll never feel pressured to add any of this . They’ ll never feel like they’ ll loose players if they don’ t . Because you guys don’ t actually care . No , I am not saying thank you to larian for not giving me anything I have been asking for and sending feedback on for months . I am not thanking larian for choosing to bend over backwards to random big name fandom people who are racist and just want to fuck the pale guys again and again .

Larian Studio is not your fucking friend, stop acting like they are .

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 critical #larian studios #larian critical #wyll ravengard #astarion #astarion acunin #enver gortash #bg3 gortash #patch 6 #read it and weep idgaf

[clonerightsagenda]

May I ask what the 'no sex in space' rant is? Zero G sounds like fun :<

The space sex rant is my passion. Possibly because I have no emotional investment in the act so when it gets broken down into weird biology and mechanics by the cruel forces of physics, I find it kind of fascinating.

Sticking this below the cut because it will get long. My primary source is Packing for Mars by Mary Roach, but A City on Mars gets into the same issues. Yes, at least two books have entire chapters devoted to the space sex problem.

Note that this is all assuming microgravity. Many of the problems go away if you have artificial gravity, which we haven't cracked yet beyond building centrifuges. Your Star Trek fanfics are safe. So without further ado, and in no particular order, reasons why you probably shouldn't have sex in zero gravity and it probably wouldn't be that fun if you did:

The infamous 'no boners in space'. Since we're evolved to live in gravity, our bodies compensate for it by putting more effort into getting fluids above our heart. In microgravity, that's unnecessary, so you end up with fluid shift - more fluids, including blood, in the upper body. Your total blood volume also goes down. This would make an erection more difficult, and in fact most astronauts interviewed for whom this would be relevant claimed they didn't get any. The outlier here is Mike Mullane, but having read his memoir, he is the kind of guy who would lie about that. Now, as I touched on while despairingly liveblogging Barrayar, that does not prevent you from having a good time. However less blood flow would presumably mean less sensation in general for anyone below the belt. Or if you stimulated too much blood flow, with the lower total blood volume, perhaps that 'got dizzy because I got horny' joke will actually come true.

In microgravity, body heat and CO2 don't disperse the same way they do in regular atmosphere. Astronauts have to make sure they sleep in well-ventilated areas and are also trained on symptoms of CO2 poisoning. If multiple people are in an area exerting themselves, that buildup will happen faster and would need to be taken into account. It would be super embarrassing to suffocate crammed into a closet for some hanky panky.

The laws of motion are not your friend here. I've seen videos of astronauts pushing themselves across the room with a strand of hair. If you're trying to hold onto someone, you'd either want a relatively small space (maybe not a great idea, see point 2) or hold on really well. One astronaut Mary Roach interviewed suggested duct tape. Perhaps fuzzy handcuffs are critical here. Still you're going to need to put a lot of thought into every move you make.

Space is gross. :( Right now astronauts just wipe themselves down with clothes and dry shampoo. "Skin flakes" is a serious problem. Also we're still not entirely sure why, but astronauts develop awful body odor. According to Mary Roach again, while armpits are famous as a BO source, apparently the crotch is as well, it's just that those regions are typically further from our nose. So idk if anyone's going to want to get that close and personal with anyone else while they're up there. Then again I'm sure people have hooked up in grosser situations.

I'm probably forgetting some tidbits since I just woke up, but in summary, zero gravity sex would need to be carefully choreographed, require some equipment (fan, fasteners), and probably wouldn't even be as enjoyable as its Earthnorm counterpart. It's a good thing that's not what anyone's up there for.

#terrible space facts #does this count as nsfw? idk #talking about sex in a mostly clinical fashion

[picturebird]

Some Asexual/Aromantic Reminders for Fandom

1. There is no justification for thinking “I like this character better when they’re not aro/ ace.”

Aces/aros aren’t better when they’re allos.

Gays aren’t better when they’re straight.

What that really says: “I don’t like asexuality. I don’t like aromantics.” No matter how you dress it up.

I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain why this is wrong. No character is better when you make them less special.

2. Saying “asexuals can have sex” is a huge oversimplification. When aces have sex it doesn’t make them allosexual, they don’t feel the same things. It doesn’t mean they even enjoy sex. It doesn’t mean they can have sex with a partner. It doesn’t mean they can do it more than once. And it doesn’t mean they have “fixed” themselves and can now love properly.

When bisexuals have sex with someone of the opposite gender it doesn’t make them straight. It doesn’t mean they “fixed” their homosexuality.

3. Erasure can happen in cannon and head cannon. You don’t have to be a professional to participate in it. When social media is flooded with images of an asexual character in sexual situations with no acknowledgement of asexuality, it’s impossible to see the asexuality through it. Maybe it’s not erased, it’s buried in an avalanche.

4. I can name five canonical Aro or Ace characters. The rest are allosexual. In every movie, book, tv show, and comic that’s ever been written. Throughout all of time.

Sherlock Holmes (original novels) who is constantly paired non platonically with Irene Adler or John Watson in his incarnations. No hate on those ships, just pointing out an example.

SpongeBob SquarePants who is asexual because real life sea sponges are asexual.

Rafael Santiago (Shadowhunter Chronicles) who was portrayed in the books as cold and indifferent to people’s feelings.

Isaac (Heartstopper) whose entire story is about being Asexual.

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) who actually has a personality, a backstory, goals outside of being accepted as asexual, a dynamic story arc, and complex relationships with friends/enemies that are actually fun to watch. Honestly the best ace/aro rep I’ve ever seen: a guy with no interest in sex who actually has a sense of humor!

When the ratio is a million: 5, it’s not ridiculous for aces and aros to ask people to ship someone else as allosexual. Literally anyone else. This can’t possibly be the only option.

5. Creators have a history of not defending asexual/aromantic characters. They don’t fight to make sure people respect their sexuality. It’s always better for business and social media trends to encourage shipping. Sex sells. Romance too. They may be the authority on a character, that doesn’t mean they’re an authority on aces/aros.

6. You can’t show a visual of someone being asexual or aromantic. Not in the same way you can show two girls kissing or men getting married. You can show platonic relationships, but that doesn’t prove the absence of attraction. All fan art with ace/aro people requires context. It’s not hard to scribble a note here or put in a tag or something. It’s also super sweet to see in a post.

7. Shipping and fandom should be about fun. Fun for everyone. Ship freely and kindly.

#asexuality #aromantic #Alastor #hazbin alastor #Hazbin hotel #sherlock holmes #Rafael Santiago #isaac heartstopper #heartstopper #spongebon squarepants #shipping #fandom #Sherlock #the shadowhunter chronicles

[devilith]

hey do you guys remember when like. brother/brother and sister/sister and brother/sister ships werent just normal, they were really common? parent/child ships werent as widespread as sibling ships but you still saw both of them a lot. like you used to see incest ships all the fucking time.

like you couldnt go five minutes on this hellsite without scrolling past wincest or thorki or any number of the dozens of popular hp incest ships. do people not remember the onecest takeover? the onecest dynasty? what about elsanna? what about all the fontcest that came out of the undertale fandom? mha fans loved shipping the entire todoroki family together. what about game of thrones just in general? the hitachiin twincest? literally everyone from osomatsu-san? usuk and all the other incest ships from hetalia? fucking HOMESTUCK?

it used to be that you couldnt throw a rock in ANY fandom without hitting a whole bunch of super popular incest ships. it was everywhere. it was NORMAL. because people didnt care about what anyone else liked in fiction, because everyone knew the difference between fantasy and reality. and its not like incest hasnt been one of the most popular porn categories all over the world for years.

now though, with the huge resurgence of evangelical puritanism in western fandom and the massive influx of alt-right christofascist antishippers, nothing is allowed to just be fiction any more. braindead little conservative assholes and bigots will scream and shit themselves over people shipping the elric brothers because fandom isnt allowed to be fun any more. antis will see someone talking about sebaciel and start spewing their disgusting rhetoric at everyone and being TERFS and wannabe cops until nobody wants to participate in fandom any more.

fandoms are dying and its antis fault

#proship #proshipper #profic #profiction #pro ship #pro shipper #proshipping #pro fiction #proship safe #anti anti #fanpol #fancops #anti fancop

[theoi-crow]

The humans in Greek Mythology are the mega rich and powerful:

In my college classes people are often shocked when I tell them my favorite part of Greek mythology is the gods themselves and I'm not a big fan of the humans.

99% of my classmates prefer the humans in mythos, especially the ones that stick it to the gods like Sisyphus and feel bad for humans like Kassandra and Helen who have been wronged by the gods because "they're just like us." My classmates and teachers hate the gods and don't understand why anyone in modern times would want to worship such violent and selfish beings whenever I point out there are still people who worship them. They hold onto the idea that people in mythology embody the human experience of being oppressed by terrible gods and fate and we should feel bad for them because "they're human just like us" but they forget that the people in Greek Mythology are NOT just like us. They are more relatable to medieval royalty, colonizers and ultra rich politicians who make laws and decisions on wars and the fates of others, especially the poor and the very vulnerable.

Every hero or important human in Greek Mythology is either some form of royalty or mega rich politician/priest-priestess (of course this is with the exception of people who are explicitly stated to be poor like the old married couple in the myth where Zeus and Hermes pretend to be panhandlers). All of them have an ancient Greek lifestyle more relatable to Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and especially to British royalty during the British empire, than the average person.

All of them.

Odysseus, Patroclus, Theseus, Helen of Troy, Kassandra, Diomedes, Agamemnon, Perseus, Hercules, Aeneas, Paris, Any human who has a divine parent or is related to one, etc. Although sometimes the story omits it, it is heavily implied that these are people who own hundreds or even thousands of slaves, very poor farmers and the tiny barely there working class as royal subjects.

They are the ones who make laws and whose decisions massively affect the fates of so many people. So no, they can't just be forgiven for some little whim, because that little whim affects the literal lives of everyone under their rule. By being spoiled they've just risked the lives of thousands of people and possibly even gotten them killed like when Odysseus' audacity got every single slave and soldier in his ships killed or when Patroclus as a kid got upset and killed another kid for beating him at a game. (A normal person wouldn't kill another person just for winning a game but royalty and those who think they're above the law do it all the time, plus the class status of the child wasn't mentioned but the way he didn't think he'd get in trouble implies the kid was of lower class, possibly the child of a slave or a foreign merchant.)

The gods get a bad reputation for punishing the humans in mythology but, if not them, who else is going to keep them accountable when they are the law?

And whose to say the humans beneath them weren't praying to the gods in order to keep their masters in check?

Apollo is the god in charge of freeing slaves, Zeus is the god of refugees, immigrants and homeless people, Ares is the protector of women, Artemis protects children, Aphrodite is the goddess of the LGBT community, Hephaestus takes care of the disabled, etc. It wouldn't be surprising if the gods are punishing the ultra rich and powerful in these myths because the humans under their rulership prayed and sent them as they did historically.

Every time someone asks me if I feel bad for a human character in a myth, I think about the many lives affected by the decision that one human character made and if I'm being completely honest, I too would pray to the gods and ask them to please punish them so they can make more careful decisions in the future because:

They are not just like us.

We are the farmers, a lot of our ancestors were slaves, we are the vulnerable being eaten by capitalism and destroyed by the violence colonialism created. We are the poor subjects that can only pray and hope the gods will come and correct whatever selfish behavior the royal house and mega rich politicians are doing above us.

And that's why I pray to the gods, because in modern times I'm dealing with modern Agamemnons who would kill whatever family members they have to in order to reach their end goal, I'm dealing with everyday modern Achilles who would rather see their own side die because they couldn't keep their favorite toy and would gladly watch their subjects die if it means they eventually get their way. The ones that let capitalism eat their country and it's citizens alive so long as it makes them more money. These are our modern "demigods," politicians who swear they are so close to God that they know what he wants and so they pass laws that benefit only them and claim these laws are ordained by God due to their close connection just like how Achilles can speak to the gods because of his demigod status via his mother.

Look at the news, these are humans that would be mythical characters getting punished by Greek gods which is why anything Greco-Roman is jealousy guarded by the rich and powerful and is inaccessible to modern worshippers because Ivy League schools like Harvard and Cambridge make sure to keep it that way. That's what we're dealing with. These are the humans these mythical beings would be because:

In our modern times the humans in mythos would be the politicians and mega rich that are currently ruining our society and trying to turn it into a world where only the rich can manipulate wars and laws, just like they do in mythology.

Fuck them.

I literally have so much more to add about my disdain for them and I didn't even touch on the obvious ancient Greek propaganda.

#greek gods #Greek mythology #hellenic polytheism #helpol #mythology #ancient greek tragedy

[desperate-gay]

ok… i don’t know why but i get secret relationship vibes from stina.

what if reader is new to arsenal, she transfers cause of stina, and nobody knows their dating/married… reader says her girlfriend/wife’s name is emma (which is stina’s other first name) and all the girls keep bugging reader to meet her or see her at a game. then something happens when it’s like team game night where reader slips up and calls stina ems or emma and everyone’s like 😮

Meet The Wife

Stina Blackstenius x fem!reader

“Baby, time to wake up. You have to get ready so we can get our drills in before the game.” You say softly, moving the blonde’s messy hair to the side and rubbing your thumb up and down her cheek.

“I’m too sleepy.” Your wife grumbles into the pillow, making no movement to get up. Standing up, you sigh making it sound as if you’re just going to leave her bed but her wishes are soon destroyed when you yank the covers off her body and onto the floor.

“What was that for?” Stina exclaims, now sitting up in bed with an annoyed look pointed at you.

“Good, now that you’re up you can take a shower. You stink.” You fake grimace while folding the blankets that were on the ground. Too caught up in your head, you don’t notice the tall blonde towering over you from behind. Cold hands rest themselves below your shirt, causing you to jump in place.

“Maybe you can join me in the shower, kärlek.” She suggests, nipping at the skin of your neck as you shakily continue what you’re doing, trying not to give in.

“Nope.”

“Ugh, really? You’re going to turn down sex?” The taller girl throws her head back, groaning at your denial. All she needs as an answer is the stone expression plastered on your face. Your wife sighs and walks over to the closet to pick out her outfit for the day but not without mumbling under her breath in her native tongue.

“C’mon Stinky Blackstenius.” You joke which the other girl doesn’t find as amusing. She huffs and goes into your shared bathroom, slamming the door. “Ooo Stina Black-stinky-us. Much better.” You announce over the sound of the shower starting.

“I want a divorce!”

—

“Good game out there, speedy. Glad we snatched you up before anyone else could.” Katie pats your shoulder, passing you to get to her cubby.

Your transfer was pretty sudden but long-awaited, having played for Vittsjö in Sweden. You and Stina met each other when you both debuted on the national team. It both took you a while to admit your feelings for one another, but now here you are, married for 5 years.

No one knows besides your family and a few of your national teammates who’ve accidentally caught you making out in a storage closet. It’s not that you don’t want people to know, you both just enjoy your private life with no interruptions.

“It wouldn’t have been a tough choice anyway. I’d choose Arsenal in a heartbeat.” You proclaim, stripping out of your sweaty jersey.

“Why here?” Vic asks the question everyone is secretly wondering.

“The whole spirit here, the fans, the overall club just outshines the others, and I guess the people here aren’t too bad either.” You yelp as Kyra pokes behind your knee, making your leg weaken and almost make you fall. “You’ll regret that.” You point your finger at the younger girl with a scold.

After your shower, you’re brushing through your hair and gathering everything up in your bag, getting ready to leave as soon as possible to be able to lay around and relax with your wife. Just as you’re about to sling your bag over your shoulder, a sharp gasp stops you.

“Is that a ring?” Steph shouts, grabbing all the girl’s attention. Stina watches from afar with a small smile as the team hounds you with questions.

“Since when?”

“Who’s the lucky gal?”

“You’re engaged?”

“I didn’t even know you were seeing someone.”

“Okay, okay. Yes, I have a ring, no, I’m not engaged.” You answer to which all the girls frown. “I’m married.”

An uproar is held all around the locker room along with several more questions. You sigh with an exhausted smile and answer short questions to the best of your ability.

“Her name is Emma and we have been married for a few years. She’s the light of my life and I could never ask for a better person to wake up to in the morning and go to bed to at night.” Everyone coos at the new information, all finding out their new teammate is in love while Stina looks across the room with a love-sick smile on her face.

“Can we meet her?”

“Maybe one day.”

—

A few weeks later, the pestering never stops. Every day before a game the girls beg you to bring your wife to one so they all can meet her. You and Stina snicker over how oblivious they are to the wife being her.

It was someone else’s turn to host movie night since Beth and Viv’s place is being occupied by a very wild puppy that wouldn’t allow a quiet movie time. Stina surprisingly offered, the house being big enough and the living room having many different seating arrangements.

“Are ya comin’ to Stina’s tonight for our annual movie night?” Katie asks, watching you do your squatted reps.

“Of course. I couldn’t miss if I wanted to.” You breathe out, setting the bar in its original spot. Katie quirks her head in confusion but shakes it off, moving to start her turn. As your head flips around, you catch your wife’s gaze set on your ass with no shame. You wave your hand to wake her out of her trance which it does but also makes her flush and turn back to her workout.

As 7 pm began to approach, many of the girls began showing up, all bringing snacks and beverages. Some of them asked why you were so early, so you just made up an excuse saying Stina needed help with setting up and they all believed it.

About half an hour later, everyone is here and settled in their designated spots. You’re currently scavenging through the kitchen looking for your candy that you bought. You huff before walking over into the living room.

“Em, do you know where my candy is?”

“Em?” Alessia quips confusingly.

Leah quickly puts two and two together and jumps up to hug both of you awkwardly with Stina still sitting down on the loveseat while you’re standing.

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” She asks angrily, hitting both of you on the backs of your heads.

Multiple of the girls remain confused besides Viv, Lia, Kim, and Steph who are all smiling in their spots, waiting for everyone else to figure it out.

“Can someone explain here for those of us who don’t know what you’re talking about?” Kyra groans, not liking being out of the loop.

“Our new friend here has a wife we haven’t supposedly met before and her name is Emma.” Leah tries explaining, but the girls remain silent and confused.

“Stina’s first name is Emma! She just called her Emma even though no one else does. You guys comprehend?” The English Captain rushes out, waiting for everyone’s heads to shift. Soon multiple gasps are heard and you’re both quickly crowded by everyone.

“Everyone give my lady some space.” Stina interrupts, pulling you into her lap suddenly, making you shriek. “We get this information might be a little shocking but now you know.” She shrugs, smiling lovingly at you before kissing your cheek.

“A little shocking? Maybe try something bigger than that.” Beth scoffs with her arms crossed.

Once everyone gets their questions in, you all settle on a comedy movie and cuddle into someone. You remain seated in Stina’s lap with your head rested against her shoulder. She randomly kisses any part of your skin she can reach, enjoying not having to hide as much now.

“I have a question for you.” You whisper, turning your attention to the Swede.

“And what would that be?”

“Where’s my candy?” You whine from your lack of snacks which your wife finds adorable. She reaches beside her and pulls out a familiar colored bag.

“I had it ready with me right here, älskling.” Her hand holds up the bag away from your reach just as you’re about to grab it. You huff in annoyance and slump down into your previous position. “I need a little convincing to let you have these.” Stina smirks before perking her lips.

You roll your eyes at the once-shy girl who never wanted to show affection in front of her friends. Your hand grips her jaw, angling her face so you can smash your lips against hers. She hums into the kiss and soon traces her tongue along your bottom lip, but just before anything starts, a whistle grabs your attention.

“Oi lovebirds, get a room. We don’t wanna see you two swapping saliva.”

“Kyra, that is strike two, you better start running.”

#stina blackstenius x reader #stina blackstenius #arsenal wfc #kyra cooney cross #leah williamson #katie mccabe #woso x reader #woso fic #woso imagine #woso

[antimony-medusa]

Okay because I keep seeing these posts, I am just gonna cartwheel in here and say something.

It is not inappropriate to be attracted to real people.

Like, entirely setting aside the question of if you think a fantasy character block men is hot, if you are looking at the photos of a real streamer and you've got hearts in your eyes, I can't overemphasize how normal that is. You're good. Don't worry about it.

These people are funny, and they have good voices, and we watch them be entertaining for hours at a time. This is prime real estate for a little crush. And having a crush is fine, the question is about your behaviour once you have a crush.

I am seeing people thinking that having a crush on a streamer means they're dangerously parasocial, or somehow predatory, or abusive, and that ever breathing a word of it is basically sexual harassment. And like, no. Being attracted to real people is not weird. That's arguably less weird than being attracted to fictional characters. The only question is like, once you know that you want to smooch the real person, how do you then treat that person and the people around you?

Seeing a photo of a famous person and thinking "oh hell yeah I want to hold their hand": this is a celebrity crush. I am aroace and I've spent enough time in some people's streams that I start to go "oh man I wonder if they'd like if if we played D&D together" (medusa-flirting). This has happened to regular people looking at attractive famous people probably since someone in the cave man clan was a particularly good hunter and got praise for it. Thoughts in your head don't hurt people. This is fine.

Seeing clips of a famous person and having sexual thoughts about them: this is still a celebrity crush. Your average boring office worker does this with movie stars. Half the people on the bus are doing this with instagram influencers. Runnning a nice r-rated movie in your head is fine, and doesn't hurt anyone. Thoughts in your head still dont' hurt people. This is still fine.

Collecting photos of a famous person and going GOD they're hot to your friends where the famous person won't see it: still a celebrity crush. There is a standing joke in I don't know how many healthy relationships that your partner gets a certain amount of freebies where you could totally cheat if it's Idris Elba, because it's IDRIS ELBA, that's not cheating that's just sense. You can aknowlege someone's sexiness to your friends, and even joke about it, and you're not being predatory, and you're not being inappropriate. Desire is not a crime. People can publically talk about being attracted to a person, and as long as they're not making it that person's problem, they're fine. Having a "hot people" tag on your blog with careful photos gathered from someone's public instagram where they deliberately posted photos of themselves looking hot? I can't over emphasize how fine this is. If people don't want to see hot people on their dash I guess they can unfollow? But you're literally being totally appropriate still.

Getting a nice private group chat with friends who like to talk abouta famous person and talking about how you'd like to knock him up: Look, what else are group chats as adults for? Are you seeing a trend here? As long as you are keeping your attraction to yourself and not making it other people's problem, as long as you're not bothering the real person with it, as long as you aknowledge to yourself that this is never going to happen and this is just a fun fantasy, this is just like, how attraction works. See pretty person, talk about pretty person, have fun with the fictional imaginings you're having— as long as you're not forcing this imagining on someone else, making it their problem, trying to make it real, as long as you know the difference between fiction and real life, you're fine.

Going up to someone's chat and talking about their dick: This is where you cross the line.

Putting NSFW work in someone's fan art tag. Wearing a shirt with porn on it to a meet and greet. Untagging your fanfic so that people who want to read g-rated works about someone are confronted with e-rated works. Asking one of their friends about their relationship status and if they smell good. This is the bad stuff. Don't do THAT. Keep it away from the real person.

The problem is not the attraction, the problem is forcing the attraction on other people. Like, use your brain. There's a segment of attraction that you can put on main, and then there's a segment that you can put on main but you'd better be sure that the person you're talking about is not going to see it, and then there's a segment you should keep for the group chat, but that's just a very basic sliding scale of "how sexual am I being" correlated with "how private am I being about this". If you want to run a full on porn video in your head starring Wilbur Soot, you're not bothering other people with that, you're not being inappropriate. That becomes inappropriate if you are a) putting that in tags where people who don't want to see the porn video would see it b) talking to Wilbur Soot about it. Those are the boundaries. Wait also c) talking to Wilbur Soot's friends about it, don't do that either.

If the person you're attracted to is an adult famous person, like, people being attracted to them is just part of the landscape. I promise an adult celebrity is not sitting in their room being traumatized because people might be thinking about them romantically or sexually. Putting it up in their faces? Bad. Very bad. I hate it. Don't do it. But I see people freaking out about thoughts. Thoughts aren't real. They do not exist in the real world. You can do what you fuckin' want in your thoughts and you are not hurting people.

Like I know we don't want to be inappropriate with streamers, but that doesn't mean that any sexual or romantic thoughts about them are forbidden, or that mild "GOD he's cute" or picspams on main are hurting people, or that off in a closed group of fellow adult enthusiasts you can't be like "so I think streamer would be submissive if I was domming him" and everyone can be like "oh you'd dom him so well". As long as you're keeping it away from people who are bothered by it, you're fine.

Attraction to real people is normal and how attraction works. You're not hurting people if you think they're cute. You're not hurting people if you want to fuck them, either, as long as you're not making them interact with that desire. This is just a simple matter of keeping the higher-rated material away from the people involved.

Attraction to real people isn't inappropriate. You're fine.

#discourse #fandom meta

[riddlerosehearts]

thinking about how people who watch the emperor's new groove and somehow come out of it shipping pacha and kuzco, or thinking yzma only became evil when kuzco fired her and that she would've been a better ruler than him, are both so wrong in so many different ways and are also missing one of the things that i absolutely love about the movie. which is that, the way i see it, pacha and yzma are counterparts. as parental figures to kuzco.

like, just to get this out of the way first, yzma was a dismissive asshole to a peasant whose family was starving. and yeah, if kuzco had been in her place he definitely would've also done that, which... is why she would not be a better ruler than him. she'd just be the same because they're both horrible people in the exact same ways. her reaction to being fired is to plot murder, and as soon as his funeral is over she sets everyone to work on replacing paintings of kuzco with paintings of herself and covering the palace with imagery that makes it clear that it's all about her now. i'm not even sure why this is a discussion tbh.

and also, kuzco is literally a teenager. he's barely 18 years old. source: in the movie, yzma says at his funeral that kuzco was "taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his eighteenth birthday." she also claims in the movie to have "practically raised" him, to which kronk replies "yeah, you'd think he would've turned out better". and sure, she could be exaggerating, but what evidence do we have that she is? we learn absolutely nothing of his parents, who are never mentioned even once in the movie, or of anyone else who could've raised him, and she's his advisor who for some reason sees no problem with attending to royal duties in his place. most likely because she's his regent. also, i'm not exactly a fan of the sequel tv series "the emperor's new school" but it does have something that backs up my point: kuzco is revealed to be an orphan and just before his father went and got lost at sea, he asked yzma (who was also his advisor) to take care of kuzco if anything happened to him. so, yeah, the writers who worked on the series clearly thought that yzma genuinely did raise kuzco, and nothing in the movie contradicts this.

and i find the idea of her being his only parental figure for pretty much his whole childhood incredibly interesting because, and this also goes back into why she wouldn't be a better ruler than him--she mirrors him as a reflection of what would've become of him if he'd never met pacha. they're both incredibly arrogant, power-hungry, selfish, and cruel, with a tendency to blame their problems on everyone but themselves. yzma was even originally going to have her own reprise of kuzco's theme song "perfect world", which i really wish had been kept:

[ID: Lyrics that read:

I'Il be the sovereign queen of the nation And the chicest chick in creation I'm the cat with all the cream and ooh-la-la This deadly concentration Will put an end to my frustration Now this perfect world begins and ends with moi

What's my name? Yzma, Yzma, Yzma Yzma (what's my name?) Yzma, Yzma (What'd you say?) Yzma (Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!) Yzma. End ID]

(this song can be fully heard in "the sweatbox", the documentary about the making of the movie, and is also on youtube btw)

anyway, i'm sure yzma would not exactly have been the most nurturing or hands-on guardian, especially given that she and kuzco don't exactly treat each other like family. but it makes a lot of sense to think that her behavior influened kuzco's throughout the years. and for the entire movie, she remains determined to kill him. when he tries to reason with her and admits that he should've been nicer, she says the same thing to him that he originally said when he fired her. she never grows or changes and in the end, she hurts the one person who was willing to stand by her (and even then, kronk had never fully been on board with her plan) and he ends up trying to crush her with a chandelier. kuzco on the other hand is able to realize the error of his ways, come to regret who he was in the past, and start taking steps toward being a better person. his theme song gets a reprise where it's changed from a song about one person being the center of the world to a Power Of Friendship song. why? because, as i've already mentioned, he has pacha.

pacha, who similarly to both yzma and kuzco is in a position of authority as the leader of the village but unlike either of them is gentle and humble. who isn't afraid to stand up to kuzco and be honest with him even though he's the emperor, who agrees to take him back to the palace but has no obligation to be so helpful, kind, and caring toward him--and just about every reason not to be--and still chooses to be anyway. pacha who is 45 years old (also stated in the sweatbox documentary) and can see that kuzco is practically still a kid, not a single day over 18, who has time to grow and change. pacha, who already has a wife and two kids with another on the way, but practically treats kuzco like one of his own. who acknowledges that if kuzco dies all his problems will be gone and then still worries about him and goes out of his way to rescue him after he wanders into the jungle. who sees kuzco shivering at night and covers him with his poncho, who carries him when he's genuinely too weak to keep walking, who refuses to give up on him even after repeatedly being betrayed by him because he believes there's good in everyone.

also, while yzma ends up repeating kuzco's harsh words of dismissal as she tells him of her plans to kill him, kuzco had previously repeated pacha's words that "nobody's that heartless" after he saved pacha's life. and as the movie progresses kuzco and pacha's relationship becomes more and more equal and is constantly contrasted by moments of yzma being cruel and unappreciative of kronk's kindness. a good example of this is how kronk is constantly being forced to carry yzma everywhere on his back while yzma literally walks all over him and steps on his hands when she gets down, whereas when pacha briefly carries kuzco after the latter collapses he tells him he'll have to walk the rest of the way later and kuzco doesn't even protest.

idk if i'm even explaining well what i'm trying to say here. but basically, if yzma actually raised kuzco and contributed to his current behavior, then she and pacha both are figures who guided him and helped him grow. only yzma helped him become the tyrant that he was at the start of the movie, who was selfish and callous and saw everyone else as beneath him. whereas pacha helped him see the value in being selfless and considerate of others. and in the end, yzma is stuck as a cat and nobody is concerned about her. kronk has found a new job that makes him genuinely happy, while kuzco has decided to build a hut on the hill next to pacha's and effectively joined his family. in the sweatbox documentary it's even mentioned that chicha and the kids were at risk of being removed from the film, but it was decided that they needed to be there because having just pacha as a single guy who lived alone wasn't interesting enough--kuzco needed to go from having basically an empty world where he had nobody to being able to come together with pacha's whole family. and i just think that's incredibly satisfying and beautiful. it also leads up to one of the few things i really do enjoy about the emperor's new school, which is the fact that during the show kuzco moves in with pacha and chicha and pretty explicitly thinks of them as basically his parents while he's like a son to them.

idk. i feel like my mind went in a million different directions while i was writing all this. but i guess i just think that for all of the praise the emperor's new groove gets for its comedy and for how hilarious yzma and kronk in particular are as a duo, the movie also has a lot of genuine heart that gets overlooked. kuzco's character growth and his unique dynamic with pacha is, for me, really what elevates the movie from just a funny movie that i like to one of my favorite disney movies. and i wish more people appreciated that aspect of it and saw it as a found family story in the same way that treasure planet, brother bear, and lilo and stitch are all found family stories.

#disney #the emperor's new groove #help i wrote a whole essay about this movie #and i didn't even mention how much i love the way kuzco's home life is contrasted with pacha's #ugh. they have one of the most interesting and unique dynamics ever in a disney movie. i love them #love how kuzco gets away from yzma's toxic influence by way of accidentally being adopted #by the guy whose village he almost destroyed for a theme park #they're ENEMIES to FOUND FAMILY.... sobs #kuzco #pacha #yzma #kronk