#pass me the alcohol.

[blee-bleep]

girls night out

ft. me trying coloring and lightings again

#diakko #dianakko #lwa #little witch academia #atsuko kagari #akko kagari #diana cavendish #bleeart #posted this on the wrong blog again anyway #what would you do if you if a pretty genki girl offered you her favorite drink? #for me i would pass away #also its cramming season and my innate undergrad need to consume alcohol is festering #so this is just projecting at the highest

[soyochii]

One thousand bad habits, but you are by far the worst <3

#soul eater #dr stein #spirit albarn #spiritstein #The trajectory of my life changed when I remembered I can storyboard fanfics lol #Anyway still in my brainrot era #Yeah nicotine and alcohol addiction are bad but have you ever been in a 15 year long situationship??? #I'm really sorry to the ppl that followed me for HQ!! and YOI i swear that this will pass and i'll be back on my bs #Throwing messy sketches into the void hoping to hit another spiritstein artist lol #my art

[baldurs-gate-official]

Thinking about how Astarion insisted on staying up to keep watch in the beginning of the game

Yeah, it could be because he needs to go hunt at night without anyone noticing, or because he's keeping an eye out for Cazador/his minions. But... It could also be because he's scared of sleeping/trancing in general?

He's got severe C-PTSD. I have that too. And one of the things I experience from it is a fear of falling asleep.

Sleeping is vulnerability. You're completely defenseless. It's terrifying to fall asleep when you're used to danger! And some abusers will purposefully do things to you when you sleep. I wouldn't put it past Cazador to have done something like that.

It's especially terrifying when you're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, or as out and open as a forest. With strangers.

Add in the elvish reverie (if we assume Astarion still experiences it as he would if he were alive at his current age)... and he might even be reliving horrible memories every time he tries to rest.

(If you're unfamiliar with elvish trancing/dreaming, I made a post about it and some ways it might affect Astarion as a vampire spawn a while ago)

One of the reasons I think this could be the case is actually the other spawn, specifically what I noticed when we first meet Dalyria and Petras. At first I thought Astarion's eye bags were just a product of being undead. But... Petras, the very human looking spawn, doesn't have that. Dalyria is an elf as well, and like Astarion, she's got some of that tired sleep-deprived purple under and around her eyes.

So all this considered... I think it's very possible that Astarion has a fear of sleeping too. Or at the very least, trouble resting. Him and the other elvish spawn.

It also makes me wonder if he sleeps any better later on in the game. By Act 3 he probably feels more comfortable with you and the group. Sleeping near familiar people (especially people you're very comfortable with, but that's very dependant on your own choices in your game), and having established night time routines can make sleeping feel a little safer.

Plus by that point he's made many new memories he can visit in his reverie. Maybe instead of remembering the terrible things, sometimes he dreams of sun bathing, the first time he bit you or that bear, or any other happy memory he's created since being tadpoled.

Maybe for the first time in centuries, sleeping isn't such a terrible prospect.

#bg3 #astarion #text post #its just something thats been on my mind #my fear of sleep is bad enough that i usually cant fall asleep without pushing myself to the point of passing out #or sometimes i need to take a sedative just to manage it #so i wonder how bad it is for him given that he doesnt have the option of sedation #it makes for some interesting headcanons/ideas though #pretty sure a druidic Tav can offer to put together an herbal tea to help him sleep #what if that sort of thing worked and it became a nightly routine? #i assume he can drink tea given that he can drink alcohol #or if you've romanced him #would sleeping near Tav help? #i know sometimes its easier for me to sleep when im around someone im comfortable with #though sometimes it has the opposite effect and it makes it harder to sleep because i feel like i need to be extra alert to protect them #trauma really does a number on you #act 3 spoilers #bg3 act 3 spoilers #astarion spoilers #bg3 spoilers #q

[troybarnesbabygirlconfirmed]

i hate when im drunk bc my ass is like TAKE A PICTURE OF ME I LOOK SO COOL and this is the picture

#pictures and passing time you only smile like that when… #i literally look nighmarish #i look like im about to crawl out of your closet #i look like the boogie man #why does anyone ever let me a have a LICK of alcohol #wait until you find out what im doing tonight #hint: drinking #I dont want to #but i also do #what is wrong with me.

[sighonaraa]

can't talk right now babe i'm thinking about the season 3 we could have had if jamie had found out his dad was in rehab during episode 1.

#*stand up comedian voice* so a funny thing happened while i was outlining the season 3 fix it- #and by this i mean it was Not funny and it Did make me sad #but like. the potential................. #there would've been guilt! there would've been jamie's rock-solid certainty that football is the only thing worth keeping him around for! #there would've been an actual exploration of how zava's presence on the team affected him! #there would've been the understanding that alcoholism and being abusive are not. intrinsic to one another. and that becoming sober is NOT #a free pass for forgiveness re: the abuse you perpetrated! #there would've been a deeper and more complex relationship between jamie and georgie and simon! #there would've been NO 'forgive <3' bs! #etc. etc........ #ANYWAYS. im thinkimg....... . .... #sid speaks #ted lasso #jamie tartt #season 3 fix it #abuse mention #alcoholism mention

[neige-leblanche]

guys i am licking all of you. affectionately in a social bonding way

#txt #alcohol cw #nevaur been drunk at a bar before & im cutting myself off for now otherwise idk if i'd be able to get home tonight #even thaur the bus stop is right down the street & ive already baught[sic] my bus pass #thinking back to when my angel friend in montreal whos even more of a lightweight than me on the subway back home grabbed the bars & leaned #back to face the led subway lights eyes closed. like an angel fr. each of us had one single drink she just drinks so fuckin fast #she does a lot of introspection so im assuming its on purpose shes just crazy like all of us on this bitch of an earth #she is so beautiful though so angelic & perfect i do swear it #sorry yall on tumblr dot gov are getting this ramble i just got a new mutual on vent & i gotta impress them😩 #aurnly at 25% battery saur i should probably stfu okay goodnight my angels i am blowing a kiss to all of you and you will see my bitchass la #ter bc this app is an addiction for me

[aamezish]

the limit was seven pegs last night

#also moral of the story was to drink slowly not the 4 pegs i drank in 5 minutes because the aftermaths were disastrous #i kinda love what alcohol did to my nervous system #i think ill have better tolerance if i let it take over me instead of gulping it #had to induce emesis and vomit in volumes 3 times because i ate too much of gravy momos and manipuri cuisine #also this drink did not gave an hangover or headache today morning thats because it was super costly #its kinda magical the whole alcohol world and the science behind it #like there was this supermarket wholly for types of whiskey rum gin vodka brandy even costing upto 80k #and people just enter and purchase like wow #plus they're blended and fermented over years and years one was like 35 years #i passed out actually but it was so fun #the only scary part was thinking what if i die lmao #and to think this is a regular experience in boys hostel is like wow okay um youre ruining yourself #i could do this again me and a friend got a vodka we'll have it on her birthday #100/100 experience

[hella1975]

so it turns out it was actually never that serious

#the exam literally went fine what the fuck just happened i feel like i just hallucinated that #like im not one of those people that go 'omg i did soooo badly :(' just to come out with top grades if i say it's going to shit #then it's becuase i genuinely wholeheartedly believe it #and my headspace before this exam was the worst it's been in MONTHS like i havent felt that bad for an exam since first year #and i sat down opened the paper and. remembered everything. like i literally just Knew the answers #im not saying ive passed bc am i fuck about to jinx it and i was still riding mainly blind bc i have NO idea where that knowledge came from #but at the very least there was a 35 marker that i KNOW i aced like i could picture the exact lecture slides it wanted me to discuss #and i had all of them memorised so at the very least ive got like. 30 marks. which is enough for me to pass the module #bc this exam is only weighted 75% and with my marks from the other 25% i only needed like 20 marks to pass this exam #which... makes it even more embarrassing that i failed it the first time but whatever!!!! #oh my god im so glad that's done im so happy IM FREE #just been in the kitchen dancing around to my little tunes and texting my friends <3 #im meeting up with one of them when she gets off work at 5 and we're going for drinks #so ive got until then to nap and chill and then ill go to the shop and get us some food and wine #and she's gonna come here for a bit & then we'll go. like actually look at me. im having people over at MY HOUSE im going out to buy us WIN #im literally a functioning adult living independently who IS she a misty memory #alas i do only have £23 in my account so this is gonna be such a slay seeing how i make that stretch for a night out #i acc could budget for england when it comes to alcohol i think like the way i manage to have a good funky time with MINIMAL funds #is downright impressive. it's a skill idc what you say #hella goes to uni

[this-is-krikkit]

if you need to feel better about something embarrassing you did, i've got a little anecdote for you

last night i went to a work party where i got stupid drunk and, around 3 in the morning, ended up hugging a bunch of coworkers (nurses are the best people in the world, by the way, in case you didn't know) to express my thankfulness that they didn't make me feel like a complete moron this semester and lowkey saved my life in that hostile environment

and then i found myself standing in front of That Boss of Mine I Hate The Most, who opened his arms like he expected a hug too. and naturally i took a step back and said yelled, actually: "no way, i'm not hugging you! i hate you SO MUCH, dude!" and then i laughed my most honest and ugliest laugh, and went and got everyone (not him) another round of shots

ah, and i've got two weeks left on this job, and one 24h shift with him coming up.

you're welcome?

#personal #listen you don't get it i don't like touching people i rarely hug anyone EXCEPT if im drunk off my ass #but even if i had alcohol poisoning to the point of passing out my dudes. i would NOT. EVER. hug that asshole. #i thought this was a drunk dream... but then my work husband confirmed that ''yes it really happened!! i even got it on VIDEO IF YOU WANT'' #THERE GOES MY DIGNITY I GUESS #kmn #what a tense couple of weeks i have ahead of me lmao #venting machine

[crystallizedcheese]

Her beaming smile

(Click for better quality.)

#Undertale #undertale art #Undyne art #undyne undertale #undyne #marker #alcohol marker #pencil #gel pen #MY SHADING OH MY GODDD #PASSING THE FUCK AWAAAYYYYYYYYY #June Art challenge 2022 #? #juneart #juneart2022beam #don’t be surprised if I don’t continue it cause this alone took me OUTTTTTTTTT #traditional art #my art

[neuroticboyfriend]

holy fuck hi im alive. drinking the amount of alcohol i did (5-6 drinks) after 3 weeks not drinking while on.. 3-4 very strong GABAergic medications (gabapentin, depakote, baclofen, plus with some barbiturate left in my system) um. bad. bad idea. holy. shit. never have i been so hopelessly intoxicated.

#i kept throwing up until i couldnt anymore #everything was spinning and falling and blurring so fucking bad #im surprised i could manage to stand at all. i was holding on to everything and anything to keep me up as the world fell sideways #i genuinely kept thinking about how much i fucked up #i thought i was going to die if it didnt stop #it didnt stop while i was awake bu4 #it knocked me clean out for 6 hours #which usually when i pass out from drinking im out for only 2-3. 4 at best #shit. #i need to go back to A.A i never want to experience that again oh my lord #julian rants #vent #alcohol tw #death tw #alcoholism #posting under the influence

[angelsdean]

no but really azazel possessing john was just a convenient little metaphor, just another way for dean to reconcile with the conflicting image of his father-god who can do no wrong and the cruel man who has hurt dean, used dean, mocks him for his devotion and loyalty to his family, for his role as caretaker, despite benefiting from dean’s labor. anyways. looking at the scene and imagining there is no azazel....imagining the demon as metaphor is just. oh my god. like so heartbreaking and so compelling. the demon is alcohol, the demon is grief. john lashes out at dean, pins him to the wall, hurts him in his haze. and dean’s crying, begging him, not to let the demon inside him get the upper hand, fight this dad! please please don’t kill me. and then sam gets free, and he gets the gun. and he has a chance to end it. he has a chance to kill the monster that’s been haunting them for 22 years. but dean. dean still loves his dad. despite everything. he doesn’t know how not to love him. so he begs again, please please don’t kill him. and he thinks things might be different now. he always thinks things will be different after one of these fights. but dad doesn’t apologize for hurting dean. he sobers up, the metaphoric demon gone dormant for now, but everything is the same. they get in the car and drive and john is pissed and he tells them nothing matters but the job. dean bleeds out in the backseat of the only real home he’s even known and he hears his dad say “this demon comes before everything.” hears him say, this demon comes before YOU, dean. their lives are still ruled by the demon. the demon has always been there, will always be there. his dad is beyond saving but dean can’t kill him. 

#like actually. the metaphoric demon as the manifestation of john's grief and increased substance abuse and the angry man he becomes #is sooo compelling to me #and the demon as a figurative persona that dean places on his dad to distance him when he's like this from the good dad in his mind #makes me insaaane like super unwell emotions #re-imagining the first few seasons as there not actually being a yellow eyed demon it was just john the whole time is. i want to eat that #want to gobble that up #like there's still other demons and the supernatural and everything but JOHN. john is the one who broke his family #john is the one who killed them #i think again framing it as a consequence of his drinking..of that internal demon is wow so good #like imagine he got drunk the night of the fire and maybe idk left a cig lit when he passed out downstairs or something #and his carelessness his altered state led to mary's death #and the whole blood thing with sam...metaphor for addiction being passed down #sam IS an addict the whole blood storyline was framed as an addiction so it makes sense #azazel corrupting sam with his blood is litcherally just. john passing down his demons to his son #(yes i know dean is also an addict. literally an alcoholic but it's 8 AM i'm not thinking thru every detail of the metaphor rn) #dean's always been mary's mirror anyway and sam is johns so for now i'm satisfied w the metaphor #i'll think more abt how dean fits in later #maybe it's like. yeah he has that part in him too but it's never been allowed to take over and consume him really #not the way sam lets his addiction take over #bc dean's always always had to put everything before himself always had to carry the family be the caretaker AND the soldier #so when the hell does he have time to go full addict and let it run his life like john and sam do? he doesn't. #yes it's there and it's a bad coping mechanism and a crutch but he rarely rarely lets it consume him #except for when. when cas dies. but y'know. that's a whole other thing i could write abt forever #dean studies #vic.txt #WAIT WAIT #JOHN MAKING THE DEAL W AZAZEL BASICALLY LETTING THE DEMON 'WIN' BASICALLY KILLING HIMSELF BC HE THINKS IT WILL PROTECT HIS SONS #thinks they will be better off without the alcoholic angry man but he doesn't think abt how his death will really affect them #and he still tells dean. hey. if sam's addiction takes over if that demon inside him like the one in me wins....you wont be able to save him #you'll have to kill him

[mosstrades]

Most out of touch Thursday ive had in a long time /pos

#went to a queer discussion circle at a bar last night and stayed out til 2am on a wednesday bc trans ppl are the best conversationalists #got accidentally a bit too drunk (local man orders a 7-fucking-euro pint on accident and drinks it all out of spite for the wasted money) #(im still mad) #slept through my morning classes. had lunch #went to my afternoon classes hungover. hyperfixated delightfully on philosophy of sciences til i had a #sugar drop that almost made me pass out. bought a bagel. went to therapy #and now its 23.36 and i havent started my paper for tomorrow morning bc ive been listening to the kill james bond podcast and drinking tea #god damn i love university #not doing this again though #word weaving #alcohol cw #nick.txt

[magdaclaire]

my parents being fucking weird has ruined so many of the activities queers typically salivate over

#my mom and dad used to go axe throwing with my aunt and uncle once a week #my uncle built a forge out of cinder blocks in my backyard and we moved it with us after for like ten years #my dad forged for a long time #even like. making and serving alcohol or some shit. my dad is an alcoholic who used to make his own mead #cottagecore ass lesbians?? my mom was an apothecary and my dad has always had a garden #dark academia ass gay people? my parents get into ethical debates to pass the time when they're in line in stores #art or singing or dancing? my mom was a theatre major her first time through college. we do that here #my mom used to customize jeans for her friends free of charge bc she could just draw on them to stim during long conversations #my siblings and i split up roles in musicals before we start them bc of my mom #dancing is about my grandparents but anyway they were competitive line dancers and that's not the only dance they did #everybody in my family has adhd and/or autism and there are no safe interests in this house #and my siblings would probably say the same thing about shit that i've hyperfixated on in the past that they cannot look at bc i #talked about it too much. i know enough about literature to make any normal person fall asleep. i have a borderline encyclopedic knowledge #of big cats. i literally read a series of encyclopedias as a child because i wanted to have a base knowledge of most things #how was i not diagnosed !!!!!! how did no one diagnose me !!!!!!! #and it's bc everybody in my family thought it was normal for me to read at a collegiate level in first grade. please be so for real rn #this turned into talking about my family's autism but isn't that what it was always about lmao #mer rambles