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abhorrenttheorizer · 1 year

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Jesus help me.

I'm not into kiddie shit. I don't like kids media. I never cared for the cartoons I used to watch when I was younger. I'm not "kidcore" or "plushcore" or "liminal-space-of-a-playground-core" or whatever-core.

I am a proud, dubiously respectable 20-going-on-21 year old adult.

But... A few weeks ago I stepped onto Twitter one day and saw a resurgence of the greatest thing that ever happened to 4-year-old me.

And now I've been silently obsessing over this stupid piss-colored rat and his stupid technicolor ensemble ever since. And I decided to half-sorta-kinda make some designs for a possible AU/parody "reboot", because my body functions on embarrassment and embarrassment alone.

We're going full cringe, gamers. This is my domain.

Join me, friends, on my pilgrimage to 0 followers because I keep posting stupid shit instead of things of substance.

I am going on a downward spiral to Hell and I'm dragging all of you down with me. (this is a very long post with extra autistic rambling, courtesy of yours truly)

You guys remember the show "Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!"?

Well. I do. And if you (reader) do too, we're already kissing (no allo).

For those of you who aren't in the loop with Twitter's community bullshit, basically for Year of the Rabbit, some furry artists managed to dig up... Widget, as their primary source material, because she's a rabbit. And I'm half parts giddy and half parts pissed for multiple reasons.

For starters (somewhat unrelated), the HBO Max rendition of Scooby Doo, "Velma" came out sometime in 2023 (I can't exactly remember the date). It was essentially a SUPARR GRITTY EDGY ADULT REBOOT

In short, it horribly butchered the source material and in its attempt to be a SUPARR GRITTY EDGY ADULT REBOOT, basically became an insulting mockery of the show it was based off of or "reviving".

And I thought to myself... What if I did that? What if I ruined my own childhood by taking this crown jewel of 2006 and also turning it into a SUPARR GRITTY EDGY ADULT REBOOT?

In the parodical sense, of course.

Basically a reimagining of Wubbzy and friends in a late 2010s setting, possibly 2016, when the characters are a little older and having to slog through the parts of life that aren't particularly suitable for a preschooler's cartoon.

I wanted to keep the art style somewhat true to the source material, but my cartooning skills are extremely rusty and I don't know how to give things the "Generic Adult Cartoon" look, so the art style ended up looking like the horrible out-of-wedlock spawn of Winnie the Pooh and Adventure Time.

Hopefully I didn't unintentionally ruin their designs because I had to give most of them stupid emo 2012 furry hair swoops. Their "redesigns" just looked incomplete without them.

Going through the main-ish characters (incomplete) and how I've bastardized them to fit the SUPARR GRITTY EDGY ADULT REBOOT theme (very much not to sizing scale):

I've changed around some of the species choices for the characters to make them a little more "interesting" in my opinion. This will play into some of their behaviors, because I fucking love talking animal characters acting like the animals they were based off of.

Very one dimensional descriptions because I'm still finding my footing with this, and I just need to get this off my chest.

Wubbzy is a hybrid of a Mongolian gerbil and a sand cat. He's 14 now.

Basically the standard angsty teen struggling to maintain his chipper attitude in an environment that's more unnecessarily meanspirited and meaningless because he's stuck in a gritty "deep" adult cartoon and "life just suuucks, maaan".

Daizy is a Maltese breed dog (im not hybridizing her because her source design is crowded enough).

A year older than Wubbzy, she is one of those kids who "lives under a rock" per-se. Somehow is able to keep the same cheerful demeanor since she was a kid, but is frequently bullied and mocked for her naivety and her lack of knowledge on memes and other teenage trends.

And now for these three bozos. Once upon a time, they were silly kids that loved playing outdoor games and so on. Now they're juul hitting, offensive meme posting, band playing, devil's lettuce smoking (alleged) delinquents. They're all the same age as Daizy (so 15).

Huggy is a least weasel, and she's just at the beginning of her streetcore phase.

The mastermind behind the meme pages run by the three, and she's the reason why all of them are addicted to monster drinks, anime, "edgy" memes, and every flavor of e-cigarrette there is.

Buggy is a European hare, and is the patron saint of "band kids".

Super obsessed with anime and vidya, is one of the 1st trumpets in his band class and uses that opportunity to play every dead meme imaginable, and has dubiously been featured several times on r/iamverysmart.

Earl is the hybrid of a Syrian hamster and a Bengal tiger.

One of those dudes that's super into sports, cars, men's fashion, and fitness. Was the first to introduce the three to cringe anime gymbro memes. A Certified Good Boi, but is cursed to have the fashion sense of a fuckboy for the rest of his life.

And of course, we can't forget about these old, saggy losers (affectionate)

Firstly, to get this off my chest, it's one of my biggest pet peeves when people choose to... "yassify" characters, but they refuse to do it in a way that actually fits the character. I've seen my fair share of fat Widget and curvy Widget, but why do none of these cowards ever draw her buff? Did they even watch the show? Widget's a fucking carpenter and mechanical engineer for fucks sake. She's shitting out heavy, complicated robotics and automation like every half hour. SHE BUILDS ALL HER FUCKING INVENTIONS BY HAND. She could LITERALLY crush everyone around her like rotten grapes if she wanted to, and yet I NEVER see anyone make her the barrel-chested, steel-pecced, iron-fisted Valkyrie she was meant to be. Anyway...

These two (hypothetically) will have the most adult oriented themes and issues, amplified even moreso because as of "2016" they'd be in their mid 30s. Neither change very much because it's extremely likely that in the source show, they're already post-college adults.

(these two were/are my favorite characters too, so of course i have to put them through the most suffering lol)

Widget, Millennial Scum #2 (1982 baby), is a hybrid of a black-tailed jackrabbit and a greater bilby.

Unluckily had her workshop closed down for unlicensed manufacturing as well as a specific "accident" she'd prefer not to mention. Now struggles to regain where her career was dropped off by working as a designer and manufacturer for some unspecified corporation. Throughout her struggles, she somehow manages to stay hopeful and determined that she'll return to her love of freelance engineering.

Walden, Millennial Scum #1 (1981 baby), is a hybrid of a Malayan sun bear and a thylacoleo (carnifex). Goes through the most suffering because he was/is my absolute favorite ;-)

After a false accusation from some disgruntled out-of-town interns/coworkers, his credentials were compromised and he was put on a watchlist after rumors began to circulate that he owned and operated a meth lab. Was basically barred from having an in-person occupation, or really any occupation that isn't anonymous. On top of that, he believes he's "hit the wall" prematurely, thinking he's too old, too controversial, and too out-of-touch to live an exciting and fulfilling life anymore.

These aren't finalized and I don't even know why I'm speaking like this when I'm regarding basically a crackfic, but uhhhh that was all from me

See you guys later when my brain starts hemorrhaging again teehee bye

#help me jesus #brainlet hour #unoriginal content #plunging straight into fandom hell #wow wow wubbzy #nostalgia #twitter furries #screaming into the abyss #nostaliga #2000s cartoons #nick jr #semi nsft #aw hell naw these bitches crusty #alternate universe #reboot au #parody fic #the truth is im not sorry and i will continue to wubbzypost #fucking loved this show and now i love it again

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she-su-on-my-per-til-i-natural · 1 year

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✨ Harry Styles reacting to you wiping off his kiss ✨

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Harry just finished a show and planted a kiss on your cheek before heading to change out of his concert clothes. You immediately wipe it off and give him a playful grin. “Grr!” He says, catching you wipe it off. He is sad. You see it in his eyes. Harry swiftly approaches you, his fists balls at his sides. “Harry did NOT like that, brat!” He punches you in the face, killing you instantly. His manager sees it all happen. They are horrified (they secretly had a crush on you) and say “what have you done?” Harry holds up a bloody peace sign and replies, “Im Harry Styles ✌️.”

#this is my first fic ok?#be nice #harry styles #one direction #harry smut #harrys house #aestheitcs #imagine #this is a joke #parody fic #fic

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elemental-queen-writes · 2 years

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Rating: G

Pairing: Garak/Bashir

Summary: Garak has a new dress on display. Julian is not prepared for all that entails.

This is basically humour and parody, so I hope you enjoy that kind of thing.

#ds9 fic #garashir fic #garak #elim garak #julian bashir #parody fic #pop culture references #you'll probably hate me #i'll laugh

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lulupen2023 · 1 year

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My ooold parody sketch for my ooold parody fic (the one I'm posting here, chapter after chapter)

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gameguy20100 · 2 years

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"I honestly hope I never come across the show these salters watch. It sounds horrible." I also don't but princess-of-the-corner made parody of it called "Antiverse AU"

"Antiverse au"

Sounds like an interesting read, if you're in the mood for a laugh. Or I assume it's meant to be comedic since you called it a parody.

@princess-of-the-corner Does this anon speak the truth?

#miraculous ladybug #ml fandom salt #parody fic #ask and answer #anonymous

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vasiktomis · 1 month

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Midjourney and OpenAI Suck My Ass (GN!Reader x Midjourney x OpenAI, 18+)

Summary: Tumblr's selling our art, our posts, our content, our data to Midjourney Inc. and OpenAI. Just like how mom sold our virginity to One Direction.

Long-awaited spinoff to Elon Musk Lick My Nuts. Fuck these companies training AI with our works without our consent.

Rating: Explicit (Minors do NOT interact). Word Count: ~3200. Tags/Warnings: No use of Reader pronouns. Non-consensual sale of user data to third-party companies. Rim-jobs. Read it on Ao3 Here!

Midjourney and OpenAI suck my ass.

#parody #vas fics

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goldenamaranthe-blog · 3 months

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The Battered Dragon

Buckle up, buttercups. This is a long one.

Jaune: Soooo... (continues looking around at the "forest" around him) where do you guys think we are?

Ruby: I don't know. I honestly didn't think I'd find anyone that quickly. Even if half of the group was tied up my a village of mice.

Weiss: (plucking a thorn out of her sleeve)They were... craftier than I would have thought.

Blake: (ears wilt) It makes me wonder where Yang is, or if she's okay.

Weiss: (places a hand on Blake's shoulder comfortingly) I'm sure we'll find Yang. You have to remember that this is Yang we're talking about. If anyone can manage surviving in an unknown world filled with random dangers, I'd place the charred remains of the Schnee fortune on it.

Blake: (ears perk up slightly) Yeah, you're right.

Weiss: (watches as Ruby and Jaune discuss what steps they should take next) You know. When we find her, it might be a good idea to have a bit of a heart-to-heart with Yang.

Blake: (ears spring skyward) I-I don't know what you're talking about.

Weiss: Blake, you almost jumped off the platform after Yang. I dragged you off the literal brink, and you immediately went feral on Neo afterwards.

Blake: I'm that obvious, huh?

Weiss: To everyone except Yang herself... (watches as Ruby trips over a random tree root and pulls Jaune down to the ground with her) And maybe those two.

Blake: (chuckles softly)

Jaune: Hey! Do you guys think we'll see the Lively Carpenter or the Battered Dragon???

Ruby: The Battered Dragon? I don't remember that character from the story.

Blake: The Battered Dragon was a strong warrior that fought back the night in a fiery blaze, but was always warm and kind towards the people in the book.

Weiss: We're not in a storybook. But! If we were, I wouldn't mind meeting the Lively Carpenter. They were so sweet in the story.

Jaune: I remember the Battered Dragon was like a barbarian of sorts. Super cool and strong who fought with her fists.

Ruby: I don't remember Yang ever reading that character. Actually, I don't remember her reading me that story at all.

Jaune: Huh... That's odd. I would have though- (draws sword) INCOMIIIIIING!!!

Jabberwalker: (bounds through the canopy into the clearing and slashes at Jaune)

Ruby: Jaune! (pulls Jaune out of the way)

Blake: Ruby! (throws Gambol Shroud, wraps the ribbon around Ruby, and yanks her back)

Weiss: (glyph attacks Jabberwalker and blasts it back)

Jabberwalker: Seeking - Searching - Contacting - DEVOURING!!! (leaps towards the group and slashes at the group wildly)

RWBJ: (get tossed to the ground)

Jabberwalker: (tail whips Blake to pin her down and leaps onto her)

Blake: (blocks claws with her sword and struggles to keep the claw from her face)

RWJ: Blake!

??? : I said I wasn't done with you yet!!!

-Burning fireball of stone barrels in and slams against the Jabberwalker's head, shattering into a million smoldering pieces as molten rock oozes over spiral horns-

??? : (rugged, dark brown leather adorned with intricate patterns and fur trims, well-worn trousers and boots, tanned leather tank top with tatters at the hem where the bottom has been torn off, revealing muscular abs and a few battle scars, and a blazing heart tattoo on a well-endowed chest. Scarred left arm is on display, muscles rippling as powerful hands grab the Jabberwalker's horns, while a paint chipped, slightly rusted metallic right arm glints dully in the sunshine. A purple bandana tied off where the metal meets flesh. Black and brown leather hand armor and pauldron adorn the left shoulder and hand with golden brown/grey whisps of fur protrude from under the plates. Burning golden hair burn out in a long trail behind a scorched, wooden dragon mask)

??? : Did you honestly think I'd let you hurt anyone here? (punches Jabberwalker a few times in the face) Then you're crazier than I thought! (throws Jabberwalker over to the next acre)

RWBJ: (stare in shock)

Jaune: (gasps like an excited child) Oh, my gosh! It's the Battered Dragon!!!

Blake: The Battered Dragon! In PERSON!

Weiss: We're actually in a fairytale....

Battered Dragon: (panting before squaring her shoulders and turning to RWBJ) Dammit! (takes off her mask, revealing one lilac and one crimson eye and three scars on her jaw) You guys weren't supposed to be here.

Jaune: Is that...?

Weiss: Yang?

Ruby: (walks up to the Battered Dragon) Yang?

Battered Dragon: (shakes her head, dislodging the tears in her eyes before nodding firmly) Yeah, Rubes. It's me. And you guys weren't supposed to-

Ruby: (grabs Yang's hand tightly) If you didn't think we'd come looking for you, then you must have forgotten who raised me.

Battered Dragon Yang: (sniffs and holds Ruby's hand) Right. I'm just... glad to see you guys again after all this ti- PUAH!!!

Blake: (tackles BDY to the ground and hugs her tight) Yang~

Battered Dragon Yang: (shocked eyes glance at Blake briefly before tears slip from her eyes, her nose wrinkles in an attempt to keep from crying, and she breaks. Arms wrap around Blake like a lifeline) It's actually you....

Weiss: (after a few minutes) Yang, what happened to you?

Battered Dragon Yang: It's... a long story...

#the rusted knight parody #the battered dragon #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #rwby #weiss schnee #ruby rose #rwby crack post #jaune arc #slightly angsty #there have been a few asks for rusted knight yang equivalent so here you are!#now I kind of want to make a fic about this #but I already have fics I havent touched in a long time #damn

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madametamma · 1 year

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I just think I’d be funnier if this was the B plot of a DP fic

Maddie is called away for the week, leaving just Jack, Jazz and Danny at home to fend for themselves. Of course they get into hi jinx with Jack occasionally needing to call Maddie for advice on what he should do when problems with Danny arise.

I want THAT to be the A plot of the story. The B plot that we occasionally cut to is Maddie’s adventure.

Y’see Maddie got a phone call from a childhood friend one day out of the blue. He said “IT’s back”. Cut to Maddie explaining to Jack that she’s got to get back to her childhood town of Derry Maine because she made a pact with all of her friends decades ago to re-kill a supernatural child killing clown monster if it ever returned, and well you just can’t brake a promise like that.

“Say no more Mads. I understand completely.” Jack responds after his wife’s brief sum up of the situation.

Throughout the story we cut to scenes from IT with Maddie there being extremely casual on this quest to kill this horrifying monster.

*Maddie kneeling over the final remnants of the clown as her cell phone rings

Maddie answering the call: “Oh, hi sweetie!”

*Monster lets out his final growls in one last bid to scare her.

Maddie backhands IT: “I’m on the phone.”

Returns to call: sorry bout that hon, I’m just wrapping things up here, tell me how’re things with you and Danny?”

#Danny Phantom #Maddie Fenton #IT parody #DP #I've just read so many fics where Maddie is away for a week and Jack is home alone with Danny #Usually Maddie is invited to a ghost hunting seminar or she taking Jazz to tour colleges #I just think this would be funnier #Also it can't be the main focus of the story because lets face it #Maddie would go though the story of IT as an adult member of the losers club WAY too easily

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jellyjays · 27 days

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scout tf2 please stop biting batman he's gonna get diseases

#connors scribbles #connor is tf2posting #tf2 #scout tf2 #tf2 scout #dc #batman #dc robin #crossover art #don't ask for an explanation for this #because i will tell you all about my dc parody crossover fic where scout tf2 gets adopted by batman

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astronomodome · 4 months

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Psychological horror fic where doc is indoctrinated into the zedaph singularity where the joke is obvious but all the horror bits are played entirely straight

#as both a parody and an example of those fics that take a silly or comedic source material and make it super edgy #hermitcraft #zedaph #docm77 #hermitblr #astro speaks

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mishqua · 7 months

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The thing we have been all waiting for!

Poe update!

#tomarry #harry potter #harrymort #tom riddle #tom/harry #lvhp #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #ao3 #my fic #fic update #fic: a parody of emotions

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tanoraqui · 1 year

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(AO3)

There are no books banned from the Great Library of Tirion. There are, however, books which are generally agreed to be dangerous to read. There is a section for them, officially called “Unadvised” and informally called “Cursed Knowledge”, “Shelves of Spiders”, and “the Things The Valar Don’t Want You To Know section.”

There are no spiders in it, Dark or natural; the library staff are careful of that. There are many tomes, scrolls, and other writings which are literally cursed.

There is a slim, perfectly natural volume bound in pale grey leather like any other publication from the Metaphysical Studies department of Tirion University. It is notable only in its contents, described by its title:

The Craft of Necromancy

A study of the manipulation of fëa in life, death, the terrible neither and the tormenting both.

A note from the single author on the fourth page, after the title page and publication information, reads,

On sources and citations in this volume:

This is, I must confess, an unusual study. For one thing, while I wrote it for classic philosophical principle, that knowledge closely held ought be shared instead, I also wrote it for the relief of that sharing, as advised by acquaintances wise and well-versed in healing. To my loving advisors: I was perfectly fine before, but I do feel even better now. I’m glad you’re satisfied.

I do not believe this affects the rigor of the discussion herein. I only share it because context is always part of knowledge that ought be shared, to maximize understanding.

More relevant to the question of academic rigor is: where possible, I have included standard citations of other works on the topic, academic, biographical, and other. However, most of my knowledge on this topic was gained firsthand, either through personal experience, tutelage, or both (demonstrations upon my person, patiently explained before, during and after), and I can provide no verification save my own memory and the reputation of my primary tutor.

My memory has been confirmed to be clear by nurses of the Gardens of Lórien. My tutor has been known by many names, among them, Gorthaur, Lieutenant of Angband and Lord (and creator) of Werewolves; the Necromancer of Dol Guldur; the Lidless Eye; and Sauron the Deceiver.

Despite the last, I have perfect confidence that he was not lying to me anymore by the end. He enjoyed showing off too much for that.

With that in mind, I hope you will forgive my academic negligence in referring to him henceforth only as “a source.” It is a matter of not humoring his ego, even after his dissolution.

All that said, I have endeavored throughout this study to clearly distinguish not only between fact and theory, but between facts which I can verify through personal experience (eg, the trapping of a fëa within its hröa past the reasonable point of death), facts which were expounded upon to me at length but which I cannot confirm beyond my certainty of the source’s genuinity in his intentions to taunt and/or tempt me (eg, the warping of a fëa to suit a hroä other than that its natural own), and facts which were told to me, or to others of my association, in contexts of deception but which were later re-examined for truth (eg, on the binding of one fëa [or ëala] to another). As with any work, readers are encouraged to take the knowledge enclosed herein and make their own interpretations—though I do NOT advise practical experimentation with these matters.

This study should be taken as my final word on the matters therein. While I usually applaud curiosity and thoroughness in investigation, do not seek me out with questions.

Additionally: in light of the sober and sometimes disturbing contents of this study, I have been advised by my editor to reassure the reader (somewhat redundantly, I would argue) that I did, in fact, escape the captivity of my primary source, and I am thoroughly and happily recovered from the various torments, betrayals, etc. inflicted upon my person. My source (and tutor, creative collaborator, friend…) is confirmed to be, at the time of this publication, reduced to a scrap of a shadow soon to fade utterly from the world that is, thanks in large parts to the efforts of others. For accounts of those heroes, I recommend “The War of the Ring: A Hobbit’s Very Extended Journey There and Back Again”, B. Baggins, F. Baggins; “Nine-Fingered Frodo and the Ring of Doom”, trans. B. Baggins; and “Garden Plants of the Western Shire”, S. Gamgee.

I recommend the last particular for aspiring gardeners. My floral and herbal window-boxes are all flourishing with the advice of Mr. Gamgee.

Yours in scholarship,

Celebrimbor Curufinwë

The volume is about 100 pages, mostly text with a handful of illustrative drawings scattered among the chapters. In the space in the back pages reserved for commentary from early readers, there is only one comment:

Concerningly accurate throughout.

– Aulë

#the silmarillion #second age shenaniganry #aman ever after #celebrimbor #for emotional presence I should also tag #annatar #sauron #my fic #ficlet #I JUST THINK CELEBRIMBOR SHOULD GET SOMETHING FROM THAT WHOLE EXPERIENCE #AND WHAT HE SHOULD GET IS FURTHER ENHANCEMENT OF HIS ABILITY TO BE A SUPERVILLAIN #NOW VIA EXTENSIVE (UNPRACTICED) KNOWLEDGE OF HOW TO DO NECROMANCY #listen look me in the eye and tell me half the torture wasn’t just the ongoing villain monologue #that was half parody of the teaching and intimacy they’d once had #and half promise that they could have it again if only Celebrimbor stopped being so UNREASONABLY stubborn

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