Abuse has a goal behind it, and a lot of the time, it's about changing the victims behavior. If someone screams at you for not doing X activity, eventually you learn to do X activity. If someone hits you when you defy them, eventually you learn not to defy them. If someone abuses you frequently enough, and you begin to break down to their will... It is possible to reach a point where it may seem like you're not being abused anymore.
They don't yell anymore because you stay quiet and do what you're told. They don't threaten you anymore because you don't voice even the slightest disagreement or need. What used to be screaming fighting arguments have become lectures at your expense. They may even praise you for doing what they want you to. And all those mundane moments - breakfast, the rare kind act - stand out more. Your perception of the relationship skews even more. It's all normal now.
And it's still abuse. It's just reached its end goal - wearing you down so badly that they don't need to overtly abuse you anymore to get what they want. All they need to do is make a joke, or complain to guilt you, or tell you want to do/not to do, etc. etc. The fact that's all it takes now doesn't make what's happening to you less severe - if anything, it means you're in much, much more danger than you could realize.
It's abuse. It's horrific. It's just not obvious anymore... and that's terrifying. You deserve so, so much better. You deserve to truly be safe - not to have your wellbeing held behind fearful compliance. That's not safety. That's not love. That's abuse. It being psychological doesn't make it less dangerous.
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parental caretaker and kid writing prompts
- younger kid standing on their caretaker's shoes and rocking around. almost like they're dancing or waltzing.
- the thing where the caretaker pulls the kid closer to them by like wrapping their hand around their head and covering their ear and tucking them against them.
- kid sitting on caretaker's shoulders. always a good one.
- "shh, shh, I know, I know"
- any sort of "take me instead" situation, said by either character. devastating.
- dealing with sickness. like obviously the kid getting sick and accidentally calling their caretaker mum/dad/parent in their feverish delirium is super cute and top tier.
- BUT ALSO. hear me out. caretaker getting sick but trying to push through to look after their kid and their kid works super hard to make their job easier or look after them in small ways.
- kid hiding for some reason (minor anxiety or major trauma or anything in between) and the caretaker comforting them or trying to coax them out.
- caretaker sweeping kid up in a big ole bear hug and spinning em around.
- kid hiding behind caretaker.
- "you should be in bed" "I can't sleep" "...alright, get over here, you can stay up for five more minutes"
- caretaker and a maybe slightly older kid arguing and making up.
- caretaker picking up slightly older kid from a party that's gone wrong in some way.
- caretaker who's maybe less like a parent and more like an older sibling. they take their kid to abandoned buildings and eat cheap takeaway/takeout with them.
- caretaker teaching their slightly older kid life skills that they maybe didn't have the chance to pick up on when they were younger.
- or yk just caretaker teaching their younger kid life skills. like trying to get them involved with cooking and lifting them up to help grab things and letting them watch things get cut up and prepared.
- caretaker indulging their younger kid in tea parties with their stuffed animals.
- caretaker looking after a kid's comfort items (bonus point if the kid is older, and double bonus points if the kid is too embarrassed to care for their comfort items themselves).
- younger kid curled up by their caretaker while their caretaker plays videogames. bonus points if the caretaker lets them play like baby mode co-op (like luma in mario galaxy). bonus bonus points if the caretaker is like an older sibling and gives the kid an unplugged controller.
- older kid playing co-op with their caretaker and getting way too invested. bonus points if it's mario kart. bonus bonus points if they're showing each other their favourite games from their respective childhoods (because yk different eras).
- caretaker carrying an exhausted kid to bed.
- better yet, the kid pretends to fall asleep in the car so they can be carried inside (caretaker knows their game but is more than happy to carry them).
- caretaker having a hard day working late and coming home to their kid sleeping peacefully on the couch, clearly having waited for them to come home.
- kid having a hard day at school and caretaker is in the middle of making dinner for them.
- caretaker shielding kid from danger with their body.
- kid refusing to leave caretaker's side when they're both in danger.
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The thing driving me so insane about Loid and Yor communicating so openly is that this is how a couple in an actual relationship would address the problems they're having
She's asking him to rely on her, saying that he doesn't need to put up appearances all the time, that she knows he's capable but she's here to help and wants to, that he doesn't need to be perfect.
They're in a fake marriage. Loid has repeatedly told her she doesn't have to do anything but be around for specific events, but Yor still genuinely took up the role of Anya's mom and has been actively working to be a good mother to her fake husband's daughter this entire time, and now she's gently pushing back on Loid about not helping him either.
They aren't in love yet, or at least aren't aware of any developing feelings, but Yor is still reaching out to Loid in a way that someone in a real committed relationship would to their partner. She doesn't need to!! She's completely in her right to not help him, to not care!! He has given her the explicit permission of it multiple times!! But she cares about him, Anya, and Bond, this little family they've created. She wants him to lean on her like she does on him
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abusiveness and predation is not unique to men. abusive women (and the abuse of men for that matter) are much, much more common than you think. if your support for abuse survivors only extends to women or people who were abused by men, you don't actually support survivors.
so to all the survivors who aren't women, and the survivors whose abusers weren't men: i believe you, and i see you. you deserve to be safe and supported. you are not alone. your pain and suffering matters just as much as others' does. what happened to you is just as awful, and i'm wishing you so much healing and happiness.
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