#own and just be able to live my life and be my own independent person

[heliza24]

Let’s talk about parallels between Wilhelm and Sara in Season 3 of Young Royals

Because there are so many! This is a continuation of sorts of this meta that I wrote about them being A and B plot protagonists in season 1 and 2. I don’t know that I would describe them exactly that way in season 3, but I do think their plots, character arcs, and themes are meant to mirror each other very closely this season.

One of my favorite things about the parallels between Wilhelm and Sara this season is that comparing them really makes you hold Sara’s friendship with Felice on the same level as Wilhelm’s romantic relationship with Simon (and Sara’s with August) which I think is so important. Both Wilhelm and Sara go through breakups over the course of the season (I think Felice’s reaction especially frames her friendship breakup with Sara similarly to a romantic breakup, which I love). And both of their arcs are about mending those relationships.

Sara and Wilhelm both need to experience the world outside of Hillerska before they can mend those relationships. Sara is able to glimpse some independence, even just through getting her license. The whole world is open to her now, as Felice says in ep 6. I don’t know that she would have been able to make her decision not to go back to August without experiencing that freedom. And Wilhelm also needs to experience the full force of what life in the monarchy would be like before he is able to decide to leave it. Because of this they also act as our window into the two different worlds outside of Hillerska, the palace and Bjarstad. They create the larger context in which we understand Hillerska this season.

I love that both of their journeys of personal growth are symbolized through cars. Wilhelm is always getting trapped with his mom or a member of the court in a fancy car; it’s where almost all of the monarchy’s most onerous instructions on how to live are delivered to him. So it’s huge when he leaves his parents in the chauffeured car at the end of episode 6 and goes to find Simon, Felice and Sara in Sara’s beat up used car. Meanwhile, Sara has traded in horses for the car. This is stated pretty explicitly when her dad asks her if she would like to work with horses and she declines, saying that she has come to realize that horses are simply traded by rich people as status symbols, and her dad suggests she get her drivers license since it will help with any job she wants. In seasons 1 and 2 Rousseau is pretty heavily associated with August, along with the pressures put on August and the other elite kids at Hillerska to conform to expectations (@bluedalahorse has written the Bible on that here), so the fact that Sara swaps out the horse for a car that can take her anywhere feels like a step away from both August and the prescriptive norms of Hillerska.

Sara and Wilhelm both reject what they saw as their destined future. This is obviously really clear for Wilhelm; he assumed he would be prince and then king after Erik died, and his greatest moment of character growth is when he decides he doesn’t have to fulfill that assigned role if it will keep him from being happy and living authentically. I love the scene where Sara talks with her dad about her fears that she will fail in the same ways that he did because she also has autism and adhd. This is a less clear-cut assigned destiny, but that fear of becoming a self fulfilling prophecy is equally overwhelming, especially because Sara has already let down someone she cares about in a way that’s not dissimilar to how her father breaks promises. The fact that she’s able to come to terms with her dad’s influence in her life, but realize she really is in charge of her own future, is really powerful. (I also think it’s such smart writing about the way disability and internalized ableism can really affect your self image).

In order to break free of those predetermined destinies, both Sara and Wilhelm need to see a father/mentor figure as more than black and white. Wilhelm needs to acknowledge that Erik wasn’t perfect, and did help contribute to some of the abusive traditions of Hillerska. Sara needs to recognize that even though her dad isn’t a perfect parent, she still loves him for the care he is able to show to her and wants to have him in her life. I love that both Wilhelm and Sara learn to hold multiple conflicting emotions about their loved ones. They can be disappointed by some of Micke and Erik’s actions, but they can still value their relationships with those family members and recognize them as complex, complete people.

They also both go on a similar journey with how they see August. Wilhelm comes to recognize that August is both a perpetrator and victim of the class system and Hillerska’s systemized abuse. Sara similarly realizes that August is an adult who needs to be responsible for his own emotions. She’s no longer interested in saving him from his complex feelings of guilt, and recognizes his potential to find self healing. Both of those new assessments of August grant him more maturity and complexity than earlier in the show. (They also reflect the way that August grows, in fits and starts, over the course of season 3. If there was a season 4 of the show, I think we would really see August respond to Sara and Wilhelm’s new attitudes towards him in a way that would fuel future character growth).

Viewing Erik, Micke, and August more complexly also allows Sara and Wilhelm to forgive themselves for the ways they are similar to those people. They are able to acknowledge the shame they feel around their actions, but also forgive themselves in the same way that they forgive others.

Both Sara and Wilhelm have specifically let down Simon in pretty big ways (Sara by secretly dating August, Wilhelm by perpetuating the royal family restrictions onto Simon). But they are able to recognize those mistakes and reconcile with Simon.

Wilhelm and Sara both leave the monarchy (Wilhelm literally, Sara by refusing a relationship with August), but they also leave a kind of prescriptive romance behind. Wilhelm says no to having to monitor Simon, to having to roll out his relationship in a certain way to please the court, and to having their future together mapped out and their decision around children made for them. Sara says no to a smaller set of requirements, but the traditional ways that August sees romance are so influenced by the monarchy (which is in turn so influenced patriarchy) that they are similar in some ways. Sara says no to having to do August’s emotional labor, to managing him so that he will fit the image of a good heir. She says no to waiting for him to visit on weekends while he does military service. She says no to this grand plan that he has. (This was @bluedalahorse’s point originally that she shared with me, and honestly I think it's so smart). Wilhelm chooses a romantic relationship that he and Simon are free to create together without rules; Sara chooses a friendship based on honesty and support. Both are valid options that give the characters a sense of peace and freedom. And they would not have been able to make those choices without all of the growth they went through over the course of the season.

I think Sara and Wilhelm's arcs compliment each other so well, and it was one of my favorite things about season 3. I loved watching both of them get to grow so much and end up in such a happy place.

#young royals #my meta #wilhelm young royals #sara eriksson

[banghwa]

genuine question how do u get over ur fear of existing

#i haven’t been able to rly let myself enjoy my new job without stressing about whether it’s enough #and i know it is because other people work here with the same paycheck and live alone and happy #but i cant let myself believe that like. i’ll ever be okay on my own #i think ive been rly conditioned to think i’ll fail no matter what even though i know i wont #like i’m fucking smart im competent i have proved it i can live on my own i AM independent #but literally this house is a jail cell it gets to a point where i don’t even notice the days go by #i have never felt like a real person until i moved out for those few months and that was so scary #like. how do i get over that fear of screwing my life over and just fucking go out and live #dl

[spectrumgarden]

I know I'm shouting into the void with this one but like. Genuinely so many low support needs people dont understand what it's like having even medium support needs. Like I am entirely dependent on other people for many of my needs. I can not see a doctor without someone else scheduling the appointment, taking me there and doing a large amount of the communication for me.

If my caretaker had not been accepting of me being trans and invested hundreds of hours into psych appointments and taking me to my endocrinologist and doing all the paperwork involved with my name change and literally taking a week off work to stay with me in the hospital for surgery etc i would have just like. Never transitioned. My ability to transition was entirely dependent on a singular person and that's what a lot of other parts of my life are like as well. and that's fucking terrifying and a great way to be neglected and abused in ways that are horribly hard to get away from.

I dont drive, I dont work, I struggle to leave the house at all, I dont fucking communicate with people majority of the time. The things that are hard for you? I probably can not do them to begin with. No one in my family lives even close to a comparable life to me. None of my irl friends do. I'm incredibly isolated.

And then I go online and see people rant about how easy MSN and HSN people have it because we just get everything we need and how because people can tell we are disabled everything is so easy because none of you even manage to listen to us talk about the neglect and abuse and trauma we face/d. I see people angry at their (more) disabled siblings for getting care they need to survive instead of mad at society for creating a system where its incredibly hard for families to take care of both a higher support needs child and another child.

And I see people who live completely independent lives who work and drive and make their own doctors appointments and grocery shop and travel by themselves call themselves MSN (I could go on a rant about how that's also often the fault of LSN influencers for not leaving a lot of room in their own community for legitimate struggle but that's for another day).

I just want my needs met. I want to be able to decide where I live. I want choice in my care. I want to be able to have community with those like me. I want others to realize I exist and leave the words i have to describe my existence alone. I want others to listen to what I have to say about what my life is like.

#autistic adult #actually autistic #autistic community #medium support needs #actually disabled #semiverbal autistic #semi verbal #support needs

[gottagobuycheese]

Just 6-10 weeks and I’ll be able to taste a little freedom again...just gotta hold out until March/April......

#why did I pick one of the few professions that will give me tests and homework for the rest of my life #I hate tests and homework that was one of my least favorite parts of school #I miss drawing I miss reading I miss writing I miss Doing Literally Anything Else But This #(to clarify: I have not actually DONE any This but I have spent plenty of time dreading it) #Cheese's personal molasses #Cheese evaporates about...job?? #would LOVE to be able to just. sit down and Focus. #can I truly live my own life independently? #can I respond to emails in a timely fashion and complete my daily notes on time without someone else also sitting down and doing their work? #can I study for an exam without a study buddy?? without the promise of watching my brother play Spider-Man (PS4) after 10 PM???? #CAN I LEARN THINGS AND ALSO HAVE A JOB AT THE SAME TIME #asking the real questions here #imagine being able to multitask #I want to cook Real Food but unfortunately I have an email to respond to which is mutually exclusive to that #can only do one of these two things #oh and also studying #I'll need to take a practice test at some point but ughhhhh I don't want to know how far away I am from passing #I also don't know when I'm going to have like...9 free hours to take a single half of a test lmao #ANYWAY ENOUGH DREADING #I'LL AT LEAST FINISH THURSDAY'S OVERDUE NOTES/HOMEWORK AND THEN WHEN I GET HOME FINISH FRIDAY'S #and then...I don't even know there's nothing else I want to do right now except Not This lol

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

Wreck My Plans - LN

Summary: After nearly a year of making long distance work, Lando has lost his patience and abruptly demands that y/n move in with him. Because he can't keep living most of the time without her.

Admittedly getting frustrated with someone like Lando Norris is easy.

It’s almost as if he really genuinely thinks nothing of his demands for y/n to fly off with him for a race weekend or have him just drop in out of nowhere when he decides he’s feeling lonely at night after insisting he wouldn’t be able to come over.

It’s not as if she doesn’t want him there. 

But communication with him is a headache on the best of days.

“You can come!” Lando insists while following her out of the bedroom into her living room.

“Lando, I’m trying to make a life for myself. My boss has warned me, one more calling in sick for a weekend then being spotted on broadcast or another last minute holiday booking that interrupts other peoples schedule then I’m fired and I can’t lose my job.” Y/n frowns turning abruptly to look at him. “Flying to Monaco to spend a week with you is not on the cards.”

“Quit your job.” Lando demands and for a moment he almost wants to eat the words he just spoke because her expression of rage is not something he is enjoying being the victim of. It’s silent rage too which he knows says much more than if she was yelling at him, and yet he doesn’t shut up. Instead he continues speaking. “Quit your job. Move to Monaco and live with me. I’ll take care of you.”

“Lando…you’re being ridiculous.” Y/n laughs in disbelief of the fact they’re even having this conversation.

They’re both so young and while they’ve miraculously managed to keep a relationship going for 10 months while she lives in a guest house at her parents house. It’s still so early for her to be thinking about moving countries to live with him.

“No. You’re just being stubbornly independent. It’s annoying.” Lando states as if his words are fact, and annoyingly he’s not entirely wrong. But it doesn’t mean he gets to say it out loud with so much confidence.  “What’s stopping you? Your job isn’t even your dream job, and what’s better than living with me? I’ll take care of you, we’ll get to travel, have every morning together and you’ll be a full-time girlfriend who doesn’t have to worry about a thing because we’ll not have to worry about the one threat to this relationship.” Aka living in different countries and sometimes going weeks not seeing each other in person. 

At one point she was seeing the Quadrant team more than she was seeing Lando and he was seriously unimpressed about it.

“I-What about my family?”

“I see my family all the time and you can do exactly what you’ve been doing with me. Plus I think your dad is more than ready to pass over the responsibility of you onto someone else. We’ve had a chat and he agrees it’s time for you to accept that you have to just live with me and let me take care of you.”

“Sounds like something he’d say.” Y/n mumbles in defeat since she knows her dad constantly makes jokes about how she’s his most expensive child and it’s a good thing she managed to end up with someone who has a job with such a high income because they’d need it to meet her needs(wants). “If-and I mean if-I agree to move in. Is that really it? My plans to lead my own life are wrecked.”

“You will be leading your own life, you’ll just be doing it by my side with no concern for travel budget and you’ll get to have amazing sex more regularly.” Lando grins holding nothing back with his other intentions for as to why he wants her to life with him. It’s definitely not something that is putting her off, even if he is still annoying her with his nonchalant attitude about it. 

“Amazing sex?” She scoffs, knowing he’s right but feeling like she needs to humble him somewhat right now.

“If you need me to prove that we have amazing sex then I’m happy to deliver.” 

“Stop trying to distract me.”

“Stop trying to deny that we’re made to have a life together. When we met you told me that you wanted a man who would let you give up and live on their sofa.”

“I said that as a joke after a bad day at work and you know it.”

“So you don’t want that at all?”

“I-“

“I won’t force you, y/n.”

“Just give me some time to think about it.” Y/n mumbles before she groans. “No. I don’t need to think about it.”

“Ok.” Lando nods thinking that she’s just decided that it’s not happening.

“I’d love to move in with you…idiot. But next time you want to suggest something life changing, maybe give me more warning…and I still have to give in my two week notice.” Y/n states while he nods quickly really just excited that this is actually happening.

-

By the start of the next month, Lando had new enemies of y/n’s family as they weren’t thrilled that she’s moving out the country but she was too excited about it to care and assured him that they would get over it eventually.

Lando sighs waking up to see her sleeping soundly, her face nuzzled into the pillow while he admires her and sighs just smiling over the fact he got her. 

So far she’s been there a few days and he’s already spoiled her by buying her anything she gives a second glance. 

“I know you’re awake.” He whispers watching her mouth twitch into a smile. “You can sleep on the plane.”

“But I’m so tired now.”

Attending a race weekend so shortly after moving in isn’t ideal, but he wants her there and she wants to be there but right now she is exhausted.

Eventually she’s up and they’re out travelling to the next race. 

Now their relationship has never been hidden but it has been the most questioned due to the fact they are seen together so little. At one point she was with Max so much more accusations of cheating were being thrown into the ring but Lando put those to rest quickly.

Before y/n knows it they’re in the paddock and Lando seems to be making extra effort to show off his new roommate.

Of course when he gets up on stage as part of the media for the race week, the first question is about his relationship.

“You made it public knowledge that you and y/n moved in together. How is that going?”

“Oh she hates me so much already. Apparently I suck.” Lando nods jokingly before shrugging. “No, it’s going really well. But she moved in like 3 days ago and we’re already travelling. Everyone should expect to see her glued to my side whenever I’m not doing this stuff.”

“Yeah, she hates him.” Oscar adds with a small sarcastic smile. 

“You know she does. I bother her all the time and she hates it.” Lando admits with a proud grin. “But she is going to be around a lot more now and…everyone can expect to see me doing everything and anything to irritate her.”

#lando norris fanfic #lando norris x reader #lando #norris #lando norris x y/n #lando x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris #f1 #formula 1 #f1 x reader #fanfic

[rebeccathenaturalist]

Unsurprisingly, a lot of the commentary I'm seeing about this has been of the "But--but--I would do the same thing because I don't want anything bad to happen to the deer!"

Look. I love wildlife, and I love getting to see deer, coyotes, and even the occasional black bear in my neighborhood. But they are here because there is good habitat nearby with lots of natural food sources, not because I deliberately put out food for them to eat. I respect them as wild animals with whom my relationship is very different compared to the domesticated animals I take care of every day. A deer is not a sheep or a horse; a coyote is not a dog.

People who do things like try to tame deer or, worse yet, try to raise a fawn or other young wildlife like pets are robbing those wild animals of their natural existences. We've already wrought our own preferences on the landscape to a severe degree, tearing the wildness out of it to create lawns and farms and subdivisions and strip malls. When we then dismiss the wildness of these animals and impress our own desire for connection on our terms on them, we are harming them.

I've already written elsewhere about the difference between "tame" and "domesticated". No matter how docile that deer seems, it is never going to be as (relatively) safe and tractable as a domesticated sheep or goat. It will always be more unpredictable, and more likely to lash out suddenly at a person due to fear, or hormones, or protection of young.

These animals need their wild instincts to be intact if they are going to survive without being dependent on us. They need those instincts in order to find mates and keep the gene pool stirred up. Their instincts keep them safe from danger, including humans. And their instincts never totally go away, no matter how much we may try to tame them otherwise.

This is why a good wildlife rehab is going to minimize handling of the wild animals they care for, especially those that are going to be able to be released back into the wild. The less comfortable these animals are with humans, the better their chances of surviving in the wild and having fulfilling, natural lives. Wildlife that retain their wariness of humans are less likely to end up falling prey to hunting, or being killed as nuisance animals when they get too aggressive in seeking food or otherwise coming into conflict with people.

The person who painted "pet" on a fully grown white-tailed buck and put a collar around his neck may have felt like they were doing that deer a kindness, but they have likely robbed him of the chance to just live a natural life as his own, independent being out in the woods and fields. He might be out there, sure, but perhaps he won't mate because he imprinted on humans. Or maybe he will end up shot by a hunter in spite of the precautions because he's just too friendly and those antlers are worth taking the shot.

There will always be something missing from this deer's life because of the arrogance of someone who thought they could own and keep and control a wild-born animal for their own enjoyment, instead of allowing him to come and go as he pleased. Honestly, it reminds me of King Haggard from Peter S. Beagle's The Last Unicorn, whose response to seeing something beautiful was to capture it and keep it rather than simply enjoying and remembering that magical moment:

"I like to watch them. They fill me with joy. The first I felt it I thought I was going to die. I said to the Red Bull I must have them, all of them, all there are. For nothing makes me happy but their shining and their grace. So the Red Bull caught them. Each time I see the unicorns, my unicorns, it is like that morning in the woods and I am truly young, in spite of myself."

That's how I feel about people who are willing to drastically alter a wild animal's behavior for their own selfish benefit, even if they think they're being kind. I know I'm fighting a bit of an uphill battle in this, but I'm rather stubborn that way.

#deer #wildlife #wild animals #nature #animal welfare #animal cruelty #hunting #white tailed deer #zoology #animal behavior #ecology #environment #conservation #wildlife conservation #feeding wildlife #pets #animals #The Last Unicorn

[chronicallycouchbound]

I feel like people often don’t talk about the experiences of disabled people who have caretakers because so much of the conversation is about us—not including us.

I receive in home care for 30 hours a week (+ 4 hours/week for respite). This is paid for by Medicaid (state insurance). Outside of paid hours, my primary caretakers care for me unpaid and assist me most of the time. I’m very rarely left alone due to my high support needs. Often, when I am left alone, I am completely bedridden or at minimum housebound. I have frequent emergency life threatening health problems, falls, and serious injuries even with support in place, and these things significantly increase when I’m on my own.

I’m extremely lucky that my paid caretakers are my partner, my sister (the only family member I have regular contact with, I’m estranged from the rest of my immediate family and most of my extended family) and my best friend.

I used to have agency staffing which was horrible for me and borderline traumatic. At several points, before doing the self directed care option (which allows me to choose my own staff, hire and train them myself and dictate hours for them), I opted to not have any staffing. I was regularly in the emergency room. I can’t drive, so I was having to walk and if I was lucky enough to be able to take the bus on occasion or get a ride from a Facebook acquaintance, they were few and far in between. I don’t have family support, and even my sister who is supportive wasn’t living in the state at the time and doesn’t have a car most of the time.

And before I could even choose which staffing option, even though medically it had been deemed essential for me to have in home care, even though my insurance covered it, I had to wait several years (I was 18 when I was approved) until I was 21 to qualify to start. The reason why: I was legally an “adult disabled child” because of my high support needs (which is funny because I STILL don’t have SSI at age 24) and thus legally unable to consent to my own care plan. I needed a blood relative to consent, and that same blood relative (who had to have proof of such!) couldn’t care for me. At the time, my sister was the only person who could’ve been my caregiver and also she is the only verifiable blood relative I have contact with for safety reasons, and my only relative on this side of the USA.

The first business day after my 21st birthday I immediately got things set up to get in home care.

This is out of date, I get assistance with more than just these highlighted ADL (activities of daily living) tasks now.

In short: my day-to-day life is entirely dependent on others.

And there’s power imbalances that exist between me and my caregivers, even with my current caregivers being amazing and anti-ableist. They will always exist. We talk about the power dynamics of me being dependent on them for my survival, and how heavy that weight can be for each of us.

Having caregivers often means that accessibility is extra difficult— I’ve been told straight up multiple times that I can’t have assistance from my caregivers to help me change in a changing room when we’re out shopping. That they can’t go into the bathroom with me, that they can’t help me get un/dressed during appointments, that they can’t come into spaces with me.

I’ve been denied access to psychiatric care because I can’t do my daily living tasks (ADLs- the highlighted items) independently. And when I’m in a hospital or emergency room, I can’t have my in home workers be paid to care for me, there’s an expectation that the nursing staff at the hospital will do it. Even though my caregivers were specifically trained to learn my body and needs for weeks and have been working with me for years. I have severe cPTSD and showering in front of a stranger is something I cannot do. I would rather fall or faint or get injured or just not shower than deal with that. But I’m expected to just let anyone have access to my body just because I’m physically disabled and need support.

When I faint/fall/get injured/have life threatening health issues arise while I’m not clothed, or when I’m otherwise vulnerable, I’m supposed to let strangers just touch me however they want to. I have to show them my chest (for my cardiac care) and let them poke and examine me. I can’t object without losing access to vital care.

I have agency. I have rights. I have autonomy. I deserve to be able to exercise these things.

#chronically couchbound #disability #disabled #disabled pride #cripple punk #cripplepunk #disability pride #high support needs #ableism #professional caregiver #activities of daily living #ADL #medicaid #healthcare #in home care #home care #home care aids #nothing about us without us

[kalki-tarot]

Your Future spouse's First Impression of you

˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Pick a pile <3

1 - 2 - 3

4 - 5 - 6

Disclaimer — The images I used to select a pile were sourced from Pinterest, I hope the reading will resonate with you. I'm not responsible for any decisions you make in your life from my readings. I'm just a beginner and these readings are just for fun.

Check masterlist for more !

Pile 1

Wheel of fortune, 9 of cups, two of cups, king of wands, ace of swords, king of pentacles, the emperor, bottom of deck 3 of swords.

When this person sees you for the first time, they'll feel an instant connection with you.

This person sees you as their wish come true. They might feel that you are someone who's in a stable position in life. Your calm face and demeanour stands out the most to them.

You are a balanced person in their eyes. They might want to partner up with you.

I'm sensing masculine energy within you, regardless of gender. You seem confident and firm to them.

They see you have a lot of clarity in life. You are someone who has fresh ideas and perspectives about things in life.

They might also see you as someone financially independent, who stands on their own feet.

They can sense your dominating aura. They may also see you as a family oriented person. The provider in the family.

Regardless of what you show outside, you also have a side of you which dwells in pain and longs for understanding. They do notice that. And will be very understanding and patient with you.

Pile 2

10 of cups, 8 of wands, death, 10 of swords rx, two of swords, the hermit, 7 of swords, the lovers

They wanna start a family with you instantly the moment they see you because you provide them emotional fulfillment in some way.

They might be struggling with some betrayal or ex cheated on them or something painful like that. But they are moving on / have move on from that situation or thing in their life. They are recovering from their wounds.

They might be indecisive whether to move forward with your or not. They might second guess things with you due to their past heartbreaks.

They need some deep, introspective time for themselves to reflect within.

They are still hurt from what went wrong in their past so they have trust issues and might not even trust you in the beginning.

They will act strategically with you. They don't wanna hurt themselves again.

Don't worry the lovers came out right now as I clarified things. They would want a romantic relationship with you. They would like to offer you things. They do see you as a marriage material.

They are walking away from the things that don't serve them anymore.

Pile 3

Temperance, the magician, 9 of pentacles, king of pentacles, the hanged man, 10 of swords, 3 of swords, 2 of pentacles

They will think that you are so balanced. A perfect balance of everything. Like you can be the cutest and the sexiest both.

They would be tempted by you, of course, and they will surely start manifesting you after you meet.

The 9 and king of pentacles tells me that either they are very rich and abundant or they'll find you rich and abundant in your lives.

Maybe they noticed your branded purse or something.

They'd be stuck by your beauty like they won't be able to take their eyes off you. Whoever chose this pile is very gorgeous for sure!

They might be stuck at some past heartbreak or betrayal the time they meet you.

They might be in a painful situation that's getting on their nerves constantly. Maybe it's due to finances?

They would see you someone who manages a lot of things or has a lot of responsibilities at a time.

They notice you juggling between things but still not losing your balance.

Pile 4

They'd see you as a powerful combination of ambition and practicality. They'd think you are a successful yet peacful person. Quite occupied in your own business, not really involved in other's drama.

They would also see you someone who is very creative and spontaneous. Very passionate to create new things.

They themselves would feel inspired or intimidated by you and your bold and direct personality.

They'd think that you are someone who was wronged in the past which led to you being all broken and shattered. But you got yourself up on your feet and now you are reaping the benefits of your own hardwork and patience. You are a self made queen / king in their eyes.

They'd be shy or hesitant to approach you first but the divine will do justice to you both.

The divine timing and play is at action and you two will eventually get dating or in a relationship.

They see you as someone they can spend their whole life with.

Pile 5

You both are divinely connected to eachother, on a deeper soul level.

They'll notice your need of balance in life. It feels as if they can see right through you. They give me psychic vibes or you are one.

I can sense a feeling of being trapped and limiting thoughts and actions. Both of you were heartbroken in the past. There were some situations out of you both's hands.

But you need to face pain to undergo some realizations about yourself, your divine purpose and connection.

It feels as if they can sense your heartbreak. They feel as if you've gone through a big transformation in life.

They feel you know a lot about life, you've gone through a lot of things in life.

They see you as someone brave who's fought through life's circumstances and has become what you are now!

They see you as a wife/husband material but also someone they can start a business with.

You have that business and logical mind as well as your intuition with you.

They dont want to load you up with a lot of responsibility as you already have much though.

#tarot reading #tarot blog #tarot cards #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot #tarot and astrology #tarot asks #tarot community #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #tarot pick a pile #tarot pick a card #pick a picture #divine counterpart #divine feminine #divination #astrology #astro observations #astro notes #tarot deck

[paper-mario-wiki]

hi, i'm not the person who asked you about the life update, but could you elaborate on how being a creator means to live in a world of ideas instead of the real world? i'm just really curious about your reasons for quitting, specially because i want to create things in the future (not necessarily streaming, but anyways), hope you have a good day!

i'll be talking mostly about streaming for the sake of this answer, but this is similarly applicable across a wide range of platforms:

the job of the streamer is, effectively, to be the life of the party every single day. your goal is to be the person that has something interesting to talk about, and is quick with a joke, and has nuanced understandings of certain things, without actually obtaining any sort of "expertise" in anything lest you alienate viewers. short of having a stated goal for a stream, the only goal of the streamer is to let people relax with a voice they enjoy, saying things they like hearing. you can become very strong in different aspects of streaming, like in the production, or as someone who focuses more on a skill they've honed like art or speedrunning, but the demographic of streamers which pulls, by far, the most significant viewership, is personality based streamers.

this becomes more complicated when, for example, you are very interactive with chat, or you stream with multiple people at once. now, to maintain this charismatic sway you have (the one that got you the job in the first place), you must be able to adapt to and bounce off of other people, as you are now no longer performing alone. naturally, there's a need to not only manage your own flow of consciousness, but also to be at least partially in sync with someone else's.

beyond these complications, you must also consider drawing in new viewership. when i was a streamer, i was quite successful, relatively speaking. pulling 300 viewers consistently is something a very slim amount of streamers can actually do, and even then i was still making under 50k a year, which is not bad, but also not good. in paying for my apartment, my insurance, my travel fare, and all the other stuff that living independently draws money out of you with, i was more often in the red than i was in the green. hence, the need to draw in new viewers, which cannot be done without something eye-catching.

think about this: there are, at any given time, TENS OF THOUSANDS of streamers live in your native language on twitch, and they are all FREE TO WATCH. the attention market is sparse because the streamer market is oversaturated. and considering all of THEM want new viewers too, everyone is constantly refining and improving their craft, which requires everyone to move creatively in tandem with each other lest they get left behind.

if you are a streamer making ass-dollars and ass-cents, it becomes easy to begin resenting people like jerma, solely because everything he touches seems to turn to gold. i personally found it easy to feel very disappointed in myself when peoples projects that seemed so simple would take off. it was a constant "why didn't i think of that!" situation, at least for me. and when you don't have the energy to keep that up, or the social stamina necessary to figure that all out while also being upbeat and happy in front of people near daily, it can become very draining.

what i mean specifically when i say the "world of ideas", is like. there would be times where i could schedule out my failures weeks in advance. i'd be so in my own head about the process, i could see the exact path i could see myself taking that would lead me directly to ruin. how playing games i actually enjoyed would steadily drop viewership, or how focusing on my studies would make people forget about me. and of course this is augmented by my anxiety, i know this is absolutely not the case for every streamer, but that overwhelming feeling of needing to find a new game to play, or a new gimmick to use, or a new ploy to get money that doesn't make you feel guilty even though your source of income is mostly queer and mostly poor young adults and your rent is coming up and you're $200 short but you also just had a fundraiser last month about a DIFFERENT emergency but you cant make it a bummer or else people wont want to tune in so you have to make it something fun like "you laugh you lose!" or "$1 art request streams!" while feeling nothing but anxiety while youre trying to sound like youre enjoying yourself even when youre asking 250 people to donate every 30 minutes or so and nobody seems to want to and chat is moving slowly and. and and.

well, it starts to eat away at you.

#anon

[nayatarot777]

how do men vs women view you? • pac reading

• pile one •

men

cards: 6 of swords, page of wands, 6 of coins

men see you as someone who isn’t afraid to move away from conflict or anything that stresses you out for the sake of your own mental peace. you don’t jeopardise that for nobody. and you also seem to be someone who is all about learning how to experience certain things in life - leading me to think that perhaps you’re the type to date multiple people, or just not limit yourself to one particular thing or person. you’re extremely balanced in the way that you think and the way that you practically live your life though. from the outside, you could seem quite bubbly or excitable. someone who has a passion for experiencing life - i’m also seeing that men could feel like you’re very passionate about helping the less fortunate too. you seem to be someone who’s extremely charitable with your money, your time, or something else that you practically give away. i’m also seeing that some of you could dress “freely” too, so this either means that you’re happy with your body to dress revealingly, or you’re extremely creative with how you dress and just wear whatever you feel like wearing. your dress sense could even be seen as quite childlike - but it works. you also seem quite adamant on learning thoroughly how to be independent by yourself. and i’m also seeing that men may feel as though you’re someone who makes shit happen in your own life. to the point where you’re able to help others and show others how to help themselves - “leading by example”.

women

cards: 4 of swords, page of cups, page of coins

3 out of 4 of the pages in the deck have come out, so you guys could be seen as a young person (because you actually are - like a teenager), or that’s your demeanour that you show. with men, the childlike nature is seen through any excitability, confidence, or self-assurance that you might have around them. with women, they view you as someone who’s very introverted and shy for some reason. but they also see you as someone who notices and recognises everything there is to notice in your environment - to the point where it could come as a surprise regarding how much you know and notice. you might get along with men easier than you do women, because i’m seeing that women view you as someone who may struggle with social anxiety or just something that prevents you from speaking much. they see you as someone who just sticks to yourself, really. however, you seem so happy in this solitude. women view you as someone who has realised what truly makes them happy, and you seem to be very emotionally open and helpful to those who you choose to open up to. but i’m feeling a distance between you and them that most women feel. even if you’re a woman yourself, you might be a tomboy or just feel like you don’t have much in common with most women who you meet. they do see you as a very sweet energy - calming too - but they feel like you’d rather be left alone. yk what i’m hearing? it’s probably the women who are really full-on in their first impressions. you may just be reserved but i’m hearing that the way that some women speak to you, or how they approach you may be just too forward and maybe even alike to love-bombing.

i feel you, pile one. there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re just very grounded and stable by yourself. both men and women see how independent you are. men just appreciate it more, probably because they mainly observe you at first, i’m seeing. whereas women want to interact with you more perhaps, and when they don’t get the reaction that they like or want, they feel like you must either just be shy or really introverted. when you’re not in actuality. when other people grant you the space to show your personality and open up naturally, that’s when they’ll see the fun and excitable side to you.

thank you for reading, pile one. if you’d like a personal reading, check out my pinned post here for details

check out my patreon if you’d like, too

☺️🫶🏾

• pile two •

men

cards: judgement, 5 of wands, queen of cups

men view you as someone who is extremely aware of aspects of life that not many people experience for themselves. particularly creativity and knowing exactly what you want to create. it seems like you’re creating the life that you want under any circumstances, and you seem to be quite defensive when it comes to this. some men could view you as someone who’s quite combative too, and highly aware of when you need to assert your energy in order to defend yourself from another’s. you could get into a lot of ego clashes with men, and that’s because they feel as though you’re aware of way too much. you could also either have a lot of competition or a lot of men competing for you, but it seems like overall, you come across as very self-protective (especially protective over your emotional space, what you give emotionally, etc) around men. i’m seeing you fight off men who don’t live up to your standards 😂. because you know exactly what you want. you’re extremely attractive to men but there’s a resistance there - thanks to how protective you are over yourself. they also assume that you really prioritise self care and put it at the forefront of your life. you could work out a lot, take care of your appearance - whatever it is. i’m also seeing you keep yourself out of petty drama and ego conflicts due to being focused on finding the answers to something significant within your life. to men, you’re quiet and calm, but you’re also on your own particular path regarding what you want and how you’d like to express yourself. you don’t let petty, insignificant energies influence how you feel about yourself and your life path.

women

cards: 5 of cups, 10 of cups, 8 of swords

for some reason, women view you as someone who’s grieving the loss of someone/some people usually. and they also view you as quite insecure, lonely, or just someone who doesn’t want to be seen. with this 10 of cups, i’m hearing that a lot of women project onto you what they want you to feel like. they could actually project their fears and anxieties onto you. especially because there’s something significant about how sexually attractive you are to a lot of people. i feel like it makes a lot of women feel insecure within themselves. women could actually cause emotional loss in your life to put you into this 8 of swords energy. it’s like i’m seeing women view you as someone who is experiencing emotional loss in the middle of seemingly having a life that is ‘supposed’ to be emotionally fulfilling. for women who aren’t vindictive towards you, they could see you as someone who has almost anything that you could want, but you’re still not happy. or perhaps these are women who know that you’d rather just get rid of certain people around you, going back to the energy of wanting to be alone and not wanting to be seen. women could also feel like you try to hide your beauty - not due to not knowing your beauty - but because of the smoke and mirrors that people put up with you thanks to trying to get close to you because of it. women can definitely tell that you worry so much - but they might not understand why. again, i’m seeing women view you as the “dream” person but someone who for some reason is focusing on people from the past. or some type of guilt or shame. a lot of women feel like you’re doing yourself a disservice through the way that you seemingly downplay yourself.

thank you for reading, pile two. if you’d like a personal reading, check out my pinned post here for details

check out my patreon if you’d like, too

☺️🫶🏾

• pile three •

men

cards: knight of wands, strength, 7 of coins

you’re viewed by men as someone who has no fear. literally. you have a very strong and healthy ego and you seem to make hasty decisions - when you want something, you go after it. you don’t wait for anyone’s permission. you could also have very good control over your ego. i’m hearing that some men have seen you transform from someone who struggled with their impulsive actions to someone who can now control what they say and do. you don’t pop off as much 😂. you’re also very stubborn when you choose to invest your time and energy into something - you don’t give up. especially if it’s related to self development and improving yourself as a person. you’re extremely self-focused but in the best way possible. i’m hearing that you don’t give up on yourself at all. men can tell that you’re someone who wouldn’t fall victim to other people trying to tear you down very easily. at all. you’re focused on overcoming adversities that you face personally, and you’re completely interested in making something of yourself.you could be “more developed” than a lot of other people your age, in one way or another. i’m also seeing that men can see that you have no issue with setting something on fire if you no longer see the point or the value in continuing to invest in it. and once you make a decision, then that’s it. you don’t flip flop and you don’t change your mind 50 different times. you’re someone who also knows how to use whatever tools that you have available to your advantage. you take control over situations and you make shit happen in your favour - or for the sake of your own betterment.

women

cards: ace of cups, page of swords, 2 of wands

women view you as someone who knows how to direct your life according to what you think would give you emotional fulfilment. you think before you speak, and think about the decisions that you’re making extremely logically. especially when it comes to new connections that you have - either with them or with other people. women can tell that you listen to your intuition about people and you have no problem with deciding to switch up your behaviour or way of communicating if you feel like it’s necessary. i’m also hearing that they feel like you decide to spend your time extremely wisely. you could be the type of person who hates to feel like they’re wasting time. or you’re just extremely smart with who you invest energy into and how much. women can tell that you know how to make rational decisions based on what you intuitively know that you should do, whether the messages that you receive is something that you want to hear or not. you could also be someone who’s extremely curious about connecting with others though, but there seems to always be a boundary put up between you and new people (as there should be). i’m hearing that women may feel like you only associate yourself with people who are constantly taking steps to do the work on themselves and their life, meaning that you only associate yourself with people who are constantly changing or moving in some way. women seem to recognise that you don’t like being around stagnant people. regarding the women who you care about, you take into consideration their opinions and use them as guidance, and you also guide other women quite a lot too. especially when it comes to their emotional awareness and emotions in general.

thank you for reading, pile two. if you’d like a personal reading, check out my pinned post here for details

check out my patreon if you’d like, too

☺️🫶🏾

#psychic readings #tarot reading #pick a card #pac #divination #pick a photo #tarot #pick a picture #pac reading

[simplyavatrice]

I think it's easy to forget just exactly what Ava went through. She was SEVEN years old and woke up in strange place, with cranky old nuns, only to find out she was paralyzed and that her mom had died. Not only that, but no other member of her family ever came for her. Nobody was looking for her, nobody wanted her and suddenly she's all alone and dealing with the loss of her mothre and her independence.

You'd think, oh well maybe she has a support system in the orphanage? Nope, they treat her like shit, like the burden she believes she is. As someone who has been in a wheelchair their whole life, let me tell you, feeling like a burden is an everyday thing. You’re not, and having people who remind you that you’re not and make you understand that you’re not is beautiful, but Ava didn’t have that. She had Sister Frances, who went out of her way to tell Ava she was worthless and I doubt anyone else there was much better.

So it's no wonder Ava was a sarcastic, snarky little shit to the nuns in the orphanage - they made her that way. Being bratty to them was the only thing she could do to feel some semblance of control.

Flash forward to Ava's death, where she was literally murdered because nobody cared and there was nowhere for her to go. Ava spent twelve years in a personal hell of being trapped in her own body, was then killed like someone taking out the garbage. Empty, alone and tossed aside.

So when she was revived by the halo, with her legs suddenly working and freedom to do whatever she wanted, of COURSE she wanted to be free.

That's the entirety of Ava's character arc - SHE WANTS TO LIVE! She hasn't been able to for so long she barely remembers how to do it.

It's not that easy, of course, the halo carries a ton of weight and Ava fights it and runs from it and resists it as much as she can, and who can blame her? She finally gets the chance to be alive, to be free and enjoy life and all these strangers (who are everywhere becuase Ava is completely alone in the world) are pushing and pulling her in every direction. She's constantly told that she doesn't deserve the halo. Doesn't deserve this chance.

Despite ALL of that, Ava's heart is strong and her passion for life overshadows all the darkness she's been dealt. She isn't just full of life, but love. She's spent years not having anyone to love her, but more than that, she's never been able to give anyone her love and I think that's very important to her. We see it so much as the show goes on. Her softness with Mother Superion when she finds her halo scar, and the way she connects with Mary, Camila being sweet to her, little things like that.

Then of course there's Bea.

Beatrice, who never sees Ava as someone that needs to be replaced, but as someone who can be taught, trained and shaped into what they need. Who sees that Ava, the human being, has value and that she's worth protecting. They connect and share and for the first time, Ava has someone who actually accepts her as a person. Not a burden or a vessel for the halo, but Ava Silva, the girl inside that's been so alone for so long.

I think that's why Ava is so bouncy with Bea, falls for her so easily, because Beatrice saw Ava's zest for life and her need for love and embraced it. Saw it as something worth fighting for, beyond the halo or duty, Beatrice liked HER. Probably the first person who felt that way since her mother was taken from her (outside of Diego, but he was so young it couldn't have been the same).

Anyway, this long winded post that probably doesn't make any sense is just my way of saying that I love Ava. I love her joy and her humor. I love that she has had so much pain dumped on her and still chooses to smile. Given the way she was treated and the power she was given, Ava could have been a villain. She could have carried a hatred for god or the world and everyone in it who forgot about her but she didn't. Instead, she found the life and love she desperately wanted and gave up everything to protect it.

#ava silva #avatrice #warrior nun #this is my long overdue ava silva appreciation post #sometimes you just find characters that hit different and she's that for me #i'm not sure i'll find one i enjoy more than her #save warrior nun #alba baptista #she deserves all the awards for her performance of ava #she's INCREDIBLE

[writingwithcolor]

Afro-Latine Jewish woman maintaining cultural connection in an isekai comic

Anonymous asked:

Hello! Mixed Latin American nonbinary Jew here. I'm working on a, relatively light-hearted, isekai-style fantasy comic concept of an afro-latine Jewish lady who gets sent through a portal to a colorful scifi/fantasy land, inhabitated by various imaginary creatures sorta like in Alice in Wonderland. She gains magic powers and goes on adventures, working as a scientist researching the land's magical energy. (some of the local creatures she befriends are entirely original species, and some are inspired by my local folklore, but otherwise I try to avoid culturally coding the creatures since they're mostly nonhuman looking). The story isn't supposed to touch any heavy topics like antisemitism or racism, but I've read about the cultural problems in ""normie protagonist finds a new home in a funky fantasy world"" stories, f.ex. how Harry Potter's narrative basically implies that Muggleborns have to abandon their original cultures in order to successfully integrate into the very prejudiced but ""cooler"" Wizarding World. My original goal was to break the mold that escapism fantasy usually revolves around white protagonists adventuring in heavily Western-inspired fantasy worlds, and poc-coded characters are usually nonhuman creatures or racial stereotypes. However the protagonist girl in my story comes from a loving, latine-jewish human family, and while she regularly visits them on Earth instead of just staying in the fantasy land 24/7, I'm afraid that making her story be about being happy adventuring in a separate imaginary land filled with nonhuman characters might turn into an ""abandon your family and culture"" narrative. Are there any ways how I could avoid this? Maybe making the fantasy land's worldbuilding and designs more Latin American or Jewish inspired and thus resonate more with her cultural background, or making it clear that the land is not ""perfect"" and she still loves her family?

One of the first things that stands out to me is that you haven’t set her up to need to abandon her culture in order to make a life in another place. She has the ability to go home and visit her family, but I also don’t see any reason why, if she lives primarily in the fantasy land, she couldn’t be portrayed as practicing Judaism actively in her new home. It’s true that Judaism isn’t solely defined by religious/cultural practices, but it’s also true that religious/cultural practices are one of the most recognizable and most uniting elements of Jewish identity.

I think it might help in this case to think about Jewish practices in terms of communal versus personal: that is, what are practices she would need to seek out a Jewish community for, and what are practices she can do independently?

Does she control when she is able to visit her family? If so, visiting for Jewish holidays so that she can be at a family meal or holiday services seems like a way to highlight that she is just as connected to her family as someone who moved to a different city might be. If she experiences/has experienced the death of a family member or partner, going home to be with a Jewish community for shiva or to say kaddish on a yahrzeit is another touch (for readers who may be unfamiliar, Jewish mourning practices are intensely communal and are intentional about bringing the mourner into an active support system and slowly reintroducing them to the world, and as such a mourner is likely to spend this time somewhere where they can access and be supported by a Jewish community).

As far as practices she can engage with on her own in the fantasy setting, it would be nice to see her observing Shabbat, either in a traditional way by refraining from adventuring and instead engaging in hospitality and prayer between dusk Friday and sundown Saturday, or in a less-halakhic way if she comes from a Reform or comparatively-assimilated background, by marking Friday sunset with candles, blessings, and a good meal, even if she is intending to continue her research through the next day. She would hardly be the first Jewish person to live in a place without an established Jewish community, and a festive meal can be shared just as happily with non-Jewish friends if they’re griffons and fauns as if they’re Christians and Muslims.

Here’s one idea that I think would be hugely meaningful as a way of establishing both that she intends to make her home long-term in Fantasy World and that she intends to carry Jewish traditions with her into her new life: hang a mezuzah.

Think about it: a mezuzah is the visual marker of a Jewish home, as much to the resident as to a guest. When she is home from her adventures, in her garden cottage or enchanted tower or wherever she returns to between adventures to record and categorize her research, simply showing a mezuzah in the background instantly makes the point both that she is intending to stay, and that this is a Jewish space. If as time goes on she adds other Judaica items to her space, it can add to the sense that her Jewishness is present and alive in this world, simply because she is present and alive in it.

If she doesn’t have a settled space or if you’re not planning on setting any scenes there, having Jewish visual markers on and around her can help, too. For low-hanging fruit, maybe she has a silver Jewish Star or chai necklace that catches the light now and then, but since you’re going for a light, fun vibe, maybe she’s packing her adventuring supplies in a bright-blue vinyl backpack emblazoned with “Temple Shaarei Tzedek Junior Youth Retreat 1998” (am I old? I’m pretty sure there are adults reading this who were in Junior Youth groups in 2003, but I’m willing to bet retreat swag hasn’t changed that much).

I do like the idea of including Latin American and Jewish elements in the worldbuilding, especially as an intentional way to combat the cultural dominance of Western European folklore over fantasy writing, but because your character is from and has access to our world, you have the beautiful opportunity to carry real-world markers of Jewishness with her as well.

-Meir

I adore Meir’s answer, but then, I’m the kind of person to whom “enchanted tower with a mezuzah” as an aesthetic is so near and dear to my heart that I wrote a whole fantasy series about it. Couple of random suggestions: one thing I really enjoy is exposing my gentile friends to Jewish food—I love watching the absolute shock of delirium hit someone’s face the first time they taste my charoseth. Imagine this little bowl of chopped apples and walnuts, looking vaguely dirty because they’re soaked in cinnamon-infused wine, so it’s basically dingy beige slop….so that first bite of sensuous, deep sweetness is a huge surprise. Pick your favorite equivalent and imagine the first time a centaur or a winged princess or whatever other fantasy character tries it at your MC’s behest! (Feeding brisket to dragons would make a great name for…something…)

I don’t think you’re likely to do this anyway but since these are public answers: “fantasy world fun, Jewish upbringing a chore” is a narrative I would not feel at home in or care to read. But that’s a rather predictable remark from me anyway ;)

And of course I support the “the secondary fantasy world is actually Jewish” solution too, having one of my own.

–Shira

#Jumblr #Jewish #Judaism #Afro Latina #Afro Latine #Culture #Jewish culture #Jewish holidays #asks

[furiousgoldfish]

For those who are constantly sabotaged from learning survival skills, who are told repeatedly that they're "good for nothing", "incapable" and "will never be able to do even basic stuff in life themselves", I just want you to know that it's normal that you feel absolutely terrified for your future and unsure if you'll ever be able to live independently. It is really scary to be kept in that belief that you will fail at anything you ever try, that your work is not good enough for you to be hired or paid, that you wouldn't be able to survive without your parents. It is debilitating, it is stopping your progress in you life, its making it impossible for you to plan or imagine any kind of future, when you can't believe that you'll be able to achieve anything.

I was that person, I was convinced that I was both stupid and incapable, I was convinced I couldn't learn to cook or even do laundry by myself, I was told over and over that any decision I make will lead me straight into ruin and that teaching me anything is a waste of time and effort.

But I am now years away from being treated like this and you know what I think about it looking back? It's laughable. My skills and abilities are already superior to those of my parents. Looking back it is extremely obvious that the only reason I wasn't able to progress with any kind of skill was the intense sabotage, and if truly had been hopeless, there would have been no need to sabotage me at all, I would have been allowed to try and learn on my own.

You are not hopeless, you're kept from development on purpose. Nobody is going to be able to keep this from you forever. Nobody is hopeless. Everything can be learned in freedom and with kindness.

#child abuse #escape sabotage #psychological abuse #emotional abuse #abusive parents #toxic parents #traumatic childhood #keeping children stuck #in order for them to be dependent on the parent #and unable to escape out of fear #that they'll die on their own

[coochiequeens]

Doctors and nurses who are not willing to listen to their patients should be replaced

BY VICTORIA SMITH

The third time I went into labour, I was determined to avoid getting told off. With both of my previous births, I had somehow managed to get things wrong. My errors the first time: going to hospital too early, then, when I returned three hours later, “leaving it so late”. The second time: ignoring assurances that I didn’t need to come in yet, then giving birth in the car park — an event I later discovered was being used in antenatal classes as an example of women “not planning ahead”.

“My previous births have been fast,” I said, when I went into labour with my third, “so I’d like to come in now.” I was speaking to the woman at the midwife-led unit that is the only option where I live. (If you need a caesarean section, you have to be transferred to next town.) “Third babies are notoriously difficult,” was her response.

What an odd thing to say to a woman already in labour. The “notoriously” suggested it wasn’t based on any actual evidence, but rather a kind of folk wisdom. It felt as though I was being warned not to tempt fate, not to assume that this baby would just pop out. I saw myself being categorised as one of those arrogant women who presumes to know her own body, only to be taught a harsh yet much-deserved lesson. “Third babies are notoriously difficult” sounded not unlike “third-time mothers shouldn’t get above themselves”.

In fact, I have never been particularly cocky about childbirth. When I was pregnant with my first child, back in the days when the Right-wing press were still obsessed with famous women being “too posh to push”, I wondered if I might be able to get an elective caesarean myself. I did not particularly care about childbirth being a wonderful experience, or about “doing it well”. I didn’t care if the Daily Mail thought I was a joke.

What I cared about was not having a child who would face the same difficulties as my brother, who was starved of oxygen at birth. This has had serious consequences for him, and for the rest of my family. Just how serious is hard to gauge. He was born traumatised; there has never been a before to compare the after with. What there has been instead is the hazy outline of an alternative life, one that runs parallel to the one he has now. It’s a life that began with the problem being identified sooner, with him being delivered quickly, perhaps by emergency caesarean. The difference between this and his actual life comes down to something small: mere moments, mere breaths.

I was born three years after my brother, in a larger hospital, where my mother was induced and monitored carefully. There is something very strange about being the sibling who had the safe birth. It feels as though I stole it. There is a constant sense of guilt, as if my life — my independence, my choices — constitutes a form of gloating. “This is what you could have had.” Everything I do feels like something owed to my brother (do it, because he can’t) but also something taken from him (you shouldn’t have done that, because he should have done it first).

Still, my family were fortunate, insofar as my brother didn’t die. Current reports on the Nottingham maternity scandal reference 1,700 cases, with an estimated 201 mothers and babies who might have survived had they received better care. What strikes me, reading them, is the enormous gulf between the cost of a disastrous birth and the trivial, opportunistic way in which childbirth is so often politicised — with mothers themselves viewed as morally, if not practically, to blame if anything goes wrong.

As a feminist who concerns herself with how the female body is demonised, my interest in debates about birthing choices is more than personal. I have read books railing against the over-medicalisation of childbirth, aligning it with a patriarchal need to appropriate female reproductive power. I have also read books protesting the fetishisation of “natural” birth, suggesting that it infantilises women, that it implies women deserve pain. To be honest, I find both arguments persuasive and dismaying. Both are right about the way in which misogyny and professional arrogance can shift the focus away from meeting the needs of women and babies. I feel a kind of rage that we are told to pick a side.

Representations of the labouring woman are so often negative: the naïve idealist, the “birthzilla“, the birth-plan obsessive, the woman who is “too posh to push”. This latter stereotype has gone hand-in-hand with a veneration of vaginal births, and stigmatisation of caesareans, that has had sometimes disastrous consequences. Midwives at the centre of the Furness General Hospital scandal were reported to have “pursued natural birth ‘at any cost’”, referring to one another as “the musketeers”; at least 11 babies and one mother died. But their approach was sanctioned by their employer: the 2006 NHS document “Pathways to Success: a self-improvement toolkit” explicitly suggested that “maternity units applying best practice to the management of pregnancy, labour and birth will achieve a [caesarean section] rate consistently below 20% and will have aspirations to reduce that rate to 15%”. Proposed benefits to this included “a sense of pride in units”.

Responses to maternity scandals now express horror that such an anti-intervention culture ever arose — responses in the same press that denigrated women such as Victoria Beckham and Kate Winslet for not giving birth vaginally. Instead, newspapers now stoke outrage over “natural” treatments during NHS births, such as burning herbs. Women have been shamed for having caesareans, but they have also been shamed for wanting births with minimum intervention — as though they are selfish and spoilt for seeking control over such an extreme situation.

In his memoir This Is Going To Hurt, former doctor Adam Kay writes disparagingly of women who arrive at the delivery suite with birth plans:

“‘Having a birth plan’ always strikes me as akin to having a ‘what I want the weather to be’ plan or a ‘winning the lottery’ plan. Two centuries of obstetricians have found no way of predicting the course of a labour, but a certain denomination of floaty-dressed mother seems to think she can manage it easily.”

Wanting to have some control over your experience of labour — which will hurt you and could kill you or your baby — is not akin to some messianic aspiration to control the weather. And in his mockery of the woman who wants whale song and aromatherapy oils, ironically, Kay deploys the same silencing techniques that might intimidate a woman out of seeking the very interventions he so prizes. What he and others do not seem to grasp is that their arrogance is a problem, regardless of which course of action they champion. It makes women feel they can’t speak, for fear of inviting hostility at their most vulnerable moments. It’s true that none of us knows our body well enough to know how we will give birth. But, looking back, I find it utterly insane, not least given my own family history, that one of my biggest worries during labour was “please don’t let anyone get cross with me”. Then again, I don’t think that fear is unrelated to the desire to remain safe.

Birth is not a joke. It is not a place for professional dick-swinging or political one-upmanship. I cannot describe — and, as I am not my mother, cannot fully understand — the shame of feeling that you “let down” your child before they drew their first breath, that they will forever suffer because of it. You watch an entire life unfolding and that feeling is there, every single day. This is the fear of the women in labour who are characterised as either idiots mesmerised by fantasy homebirths or cold-hearted posh ladies who can’t take the pain. If things go wrong, they are the ones who will bear the consequences, reflecting every day on what might have been, if they’d only done more.

When people discuss their siblings, my mind does wander to the one I don’t have, the one who was born safely. Perhaps he would have a job he loved, or one he hated, but in any case a job. Perhaps he would have a partner. Perhaps he would have children, and I would be their aunt. Perhaps we wouldn’t get on, wouldn’t even speak, but he’d have a life of his own. I know he thinks about this too. I wonder if the professionals who presided over his birth have thought about him since.

My third labour was not, by the way, “notoriously difficult”. My third son arrived into the world safe and well. No one can say why him or me, and not my brother. Mothers may long for control over birth, for which we are mocked; but we do not have it, for which we are blamed. Politics still takes precedence over our needs, and the needs of our babies.

#Traumatic births #Doctors not listening to women #There's no such thing as a birthzilla #Women aren't too posh to push #Doctors are so posh they schedule cesareans to accommodate their schedules not the mothers #Furness General Hospital Scandal #This is going to hurt #Keep Adam Kay away from women #Women wanting a say in their births are not acting like they want to control the weather #Nottingham maternity scandal #If the baby suffers during a traumatic birth it's the mother who will providing the care after they come home from the hospital

[helianthus-tarot]

GENERAL: 3 things you should do more & why

As usual, with tarot, it gets spiritual. But I also included extra things like activities you can do and advice card in each pile. There are three points in each pile, so it is up to you if you want to split the reading; for example, if you want to choose Pile A number 1 for the first suggestion, Pile D number 2 for the second suggestion, Pile C number 3 for the third suggestion. Or just choose one pile for all three suggestions.

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Instructions: Focus on the topic and ask yourself the question. Choose a number/picture that you feel the most drawn to or that you can’t stop looking at. Trust your intuition. May the message resonate. Let me know which pile you choose! Feedback is appreciated!

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PILE A

Queen of Swords (10 of Pentacles), 7 of Swords (The Hermit), 10 of Wands Rx (7 of Pentacles)

1. Prioritize what you know you need to prioritize. Fix and hold/maintain your boundaries. I wonder if some of you cross your own boundaries too, or do things to yourself that you know you shouldn’t— dishonoring yourself or your boundaries in some way. Speak your mind more. This will allow you to build a more stable life for yourself (it will lead to more stability and getting to build a life that you desire).

2. Keep some aspects of yourself private, not everyone deserves to know what you are up to, not everyone should have access to you. Plan your life/day more and move in silence. You will be able to protect your peace better this way, and some of you probably need your space to feel more like yourself and to cultivate mental independence. If you chose this number specifically, please read the advice card below.

3. Let go of burdens and responsibilities that aren't yours to take. Relax more, pace yourself better, you will get what you aim for even if you do it slowly. Sometimes trying to carry too much can lead to ineffectiveness and things not working out. Some of you may also be overburdening yourself with things that you shouldn’t because you want to avoid drama and conflicts. Some of you do this because you feel like you are running out of time.

Advice card: Communication, “I am a masterful communicator with the ability to say what I think and feel in a way that doesn’t invoke conflict. Watch as I dodge the bullets of sass and snark. Marvel as I avoid the traps of passive-aggressiveness and victimhood. Be amazed that even though it’s sometimes stressful, I choose to communicate— an act that saves us all from the grips of certain unspoken seething.”

Extra: Food hunting, Clubbing & Partying; (go out to eat and have fun), Daydreaming (be clear about your vision), Being Online (be intentional with your screen time and the content you seek, instead of scrolling mindlessly)

PILE B

King of Pentacles, Page of Swords (Justice), The Fool (4 of Cups, 6 of Swords)

1. Look at your life and see how you can increase the quality of your life; how you can make your home life better, what habits you can cultivate to help you feel more stable in yourself, your routine, living space, furniture and so on. Live your life in a way that can help you build more stability and comfort, in a way that brings you long-term rewards. Manage your personal finance wisely. Some of you are advised to connect more to your roots, history and culture. If you chose this number specifically, please read the advice card below.

2. Embrace your curiosity. Follow the flow of what piques your mind. Yes, even if you are interested in 32532 different hobbies or topics at the same time, find time to engage with them all. Not everything you explore has to stay forever in your life (you don't have to commit to everything), but that does not mean you shouldn’t experience them at all. Share those things that you have learned and that excite you with others. It will help you develop mental agility and be wiser.

3. Be open to life and take more risks. Go out and explore the world. Start something new, whether or not it will lead to anything substantial, we never really know what will and what won't. Approach life lightly, with childlike wonder. It will help move you away from your past disappointment and dissatisfaction.

Advice card: Prep Work, “I make friends with the quiet loners— Organization and Planning— and I suddenly realize how cool they are. I start hanging out with them, and I bend to their influence. I even allow them to give my daily habits a makeover. Normally I wouldn’t succumb to peer pressure, but isn’t efficiency the best? C’mon, just let me fill in one more bullet journal, I promise I’ll be able to stop.”

Extra: Sightseeing & Going to the museum, Collecting, Photography & Videography (take more pictures, record your memories, make a scrapbook journal), Fishing (be around bodies of water more; the beach, lake, pool, have an aquarium or set up a small decorative fountain in your space, etc).

PILE C

3 of Pentacles (The Sun), 10 of Swords, 7 of Cups (8 of Pentacles)

1. Ask for help more often. Even if you can do something alone, sometimes it benefits you if you let other people help you. Getting help is not the only benefit; forming connections, starting an interaction, exchanging resources and network are among the benefits. You never know who knows a person who knows a person who has the resources that can make your life better.

2. Sit down with yourself and really take your time understanding why you are dealing with the pain and stress you are dealing with. Some of these things require attention, and if you experience delay or obstacles or difficulty that stop you in your path or weigh you down until the point you can’t move forward, maybe it is time to stop and heal. Investigate the source of stress and pull it out one by one, and love yourself through every step.

3. Regularly look at the things that show up in your life, and really ask yourself what’s good and what’s bad for you, filter them according to this standard. Not everything that seems and feels good is actually good, not everything that seems bad and feels bad is actually bad. Look at your own qualities too, there are things that we carry in ourselves that can lead us astray, and there are things that we carry in ourselves that are actually helping us. This may be the step that starts your self-improvement journey.

Advice Card (this one is a bit more cryptic than the others): Lunch, “I eat my own food and I let others eat their own food. If there is not a name on the food and I didn’t buy the food, I use my brain to remember that I didn’t buy the food and I assume that someone else bought the food.”

Extra: Occult (self-introspection, get to know yourself activities, spiritual activities or activities that can make you feel more connected to the Universe, nature and the world around you), Fashion & Style (take care of your appearance and hygiene more, wear clothes that make you feel happy every day)

PILE D

Judgment (Wheel of Fortune), 9 of Pentacles (King of Cups), Queen of Cups Rx (The Sun)

1. Regularly look back on your past and actions you took, what you did that helped you succeed or produce a desired/positive result, and what you did/didn’t do that didn’t help you. Learn what you should do again to repeat the desired result. Apply the knowledge. Looking back on the past also means noticing the patterns that have appeared in your life, which also helps you notice similar patterns in the present, this will help you navigate your present and future better.

2. Embrace gratitude and just enjoy your life. A lot of you have worked hard enough to get to this point, you deserve to enjoy yourself. Sure the journey hasn’t ended yet, and many of you have long journeys ahead of you— but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy what you have now. This is good for your emotional and mental health; it will help you feel more emotionally balanced and stable instead of feeling drained.

3. Avoid approaching life with feelings all the time. It’s common to process life events emotionally, for example, when something happens we might be like “this is so boring to do” “that is so unpleasant” “I want to do this but I feel like” and whatnot, but it will be simpler if we just see things as 'actions to take' and that’s it, don’t let yourself move past the awareness of the facts (of the situation) and start feeling something about the facts. This is one of the things that go-getters do; they just act, they don’t think or feel much about every single thing in their life and in their to-do list. It will make you happier and make it easier to move in life.

Advice Card: Consideration, “I’m a considerate person, and my new goal is radical conscientiousness. From now on, I’ll leave every space tidier than I found it; I’ll find small ways to support a teammate even if they didn’t ask for it.”

Extra: Watching movies (watch more movies, drama or tv shows), being out in nature (you can also try being more active physically, like doing sports or other physical activities that have positive impacts on your health).

#pick a card #pick a pile #tarot community #pick an image #tarot readings #pick a picture #free tarot readings #tarotblr #divination community #tarot readers #free tarot #pac #divination #spirituality #spiritual community

[starsworldd]

✿ 𝟴𝘁𝗵, 𝟵𝘁𝗵, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝟭𝟬𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 (𝗽𝘁. 𝟯) ✿

• reminder to go listen to domino 1 by iamsagsssssss :> ⭐️

• once again, thank you so much for the support!! ⭐️

saggitarius rising: 👾

❖ cancer 8th house - family may have been a cause of concern for you. maybe there’s lots of secrets or taboos in your family. the past and your childhood are difficult things for you to confront as well. you may be scared to feel the range of your emotions and may often keep them repressed because you somehow fear them possibly.

❖ leo 9th house - a way to help you with these problems is to foster your own creativity. you may find that your own personal discoveries are found through things like singing, dancing, theater, etc… not being afriad to express yourself is your way of making the most out of your transformations :))

❖ virgo 10th house - you’re known as someone who puts their best into the daily grind. with both luminaries in the 8th and 9th houses, your healing journey reflects both aspects of the ego and that’s not an easy journey to go through! but nonetheless, your potential lies in inspiring others how to reinvent their routines to match their best self. from dealing with familial/emotional struggles (cancer 8th house) to establishing your own separate independence and smarts because of those struggles (virgo 10th house) <3

capricorn rising: ⚡️

❖ leo 8th house - someone who may be afraid of the spotlight. music, dance, creativity in general is your superpower and is very transformative for you. you may have been afraid to show your talents or might have gotten a lot of backlash for sharing them. self-expression wasn’t always easy for you </3

❖ virgo 9th house - to escape this, you work on your skill set. someone who practices their talents or trains how they want to express themselves on a public level to some degree. applying your skills in a helpful way is what helps you heal and sets you free!

❖ libra 10th house - because you’ve established yourself as someone dedicated to their craft, people love you. people admire your hard work and you inspire others to work hard as well. you come off as someone who knows the balance between having fun and being able to do difficult tasks. pretty similar to scorpio rising in the sense that you went from someone who was scared to show off your creativity and fun side (leo 8th) to someone who is loved and admired by others for your work (libra 10th)

aquarius rising: 🫧

❖ virgo 8th house - practicing your skills is what sets you apart. you may have been shamed for the type of service you do, or the way you live your life in general. you could be afraid or may seem reluctant to transforming your daily routines and jobs. what you practice for a job or for a hobby could be shamed upon by others.

❖ libra 9th house - your way of escaping this torment is to be a diplomat. you find self-discovery through friendships and making in-depth connections with others (could also be romantic ;>). making connections with people outside of your circle sets you free and maybe creating businesses or some sort of monetary partnership with them is also possible.

❖ scorpio 10th house - with great power, comes great responsibility. people are jealous of how well-liked you are by others, or they’re just jealous of your skills and smarts. you inspire others to make use of their skill sets and talents amongst others and to find power within each ourselves. in my opinion, this rising has one of the most distinct setup of houses out of the rising signs, of course each sign has a unique flair to their setup though. for being shamed to your work ethic and skills (virgo 8th) to becoming someone of great power and status (scorpio 10th).

pisces rising: 💫

❖ libra 8th house - you may have had trouble with your relationships or friendships. people shame you for the way you make connections with others, your charm. accessing venusian subjects such as romance, music, etc.. we’re very transformative for you and you could possibly profit off of it. someone who doesn’t like to be tied down by their connections.

❖ scorpio 9th house - you reinvent yourself in order to escape these painful experiences with others. it’s kind of ironic how in the house of the heavens you have to go down to hell to find your own heaven. facing your fears and own personal struggles is what sets you free. this definitely isn’t easy, but it is what will gain you greater freedom. your belief systems and faith could all be about about transformation (and maybe they themselves change a lot as well)

❖ saggitarius 10th house - after going through all the pain, you’re someone who spreads the optimism and perseverance that people need in order to get through life. you spread your wisdom amongst others and come off as someone who is wise as well. you inspire people because you project an image of happiness even though you’ve been through so much. from fearing personal connections (libra 8th house) to someone who isn’t afraid to give in-depth knowledge to others at large (saggitarius 10th house)

✿ hope you enjoyed! let me know what you want me to post next :> ✿

#astrology observations #aquarius #midheaven #neptune #pisces #pluto #saturn #10th house #aquarius venus #pluto aspects #saggitarius #capricorn #capricorn rising #astro community #astrology community #astro observations #aquarius rising #scorpio midheaven #scorpio mc #libra #virgo placements #rising signs #pisces rising #houses in astrology #jupiter in astrology #pluto astrology #saturn in astrology #9th house #8th house #astrology