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#overheard conversation
racc00ns · 9 hours ago
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Hogwarts houses as overheard conversations from my university
Gryffindor: “I put vodka in my humidifier so I can breathe it in and get drunker as I sleep. You can never be hungover if you’re never sober.”
Slytherin: “I hope none of you go to medical school and become surgeons. I’ll wake up from my gurney and scream, ‘what the fuck are you doing?!’”
Hufflepuff: *in a tone of genuine distress* “University is really tough for me. It’s just so hard to call the teachers ‘professor’. Every time I say professor, I’m thiiiiis close to saying Dumbledore.”
Ravenclaw: “When you’re brushing your teeth do you ever do an exploratory round? Like use a little bit of toothpaste and get a feel of your mouth before you really get in there”
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"I can't stop looking at her feet!"
-overheard at work
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amultifandomnerd · 3 days ago
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Ty: I want ice cream
Kit: no one cares Ty, you should have ate your ice cream *rides bike away in circles in the street* ca caw ca caw
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kataraseye · 4 days ago
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Suki: Would you survive this battle?
Katara: I hope
Aang: Maybe
Toph: Barely
Sokka: My plan says we will
Zuko: No
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cafelesbian · 7 days ago
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Humanity is so good. I went for a run today and stopped at the dog pond and this older married couple was sitting on a bench with their arms around each other and this young couple came up and one of them said “you’re a cute couple! How long have you been together?” And the older guy said “forty years” and the young guy said “you must know everything about each other!” And the older woman laughed and said “good and bad” and then the older guy said “but it still feels like she’s my girlfriend” and his wife said “yes, he still brings me flowers and cake” and he said “when I’m sad or having a bad day, I just look at her” and then the young girl told them that she owned a flower shop and if they came by she’d give them free flowers and when I left she was giving them the address for her store and just. We are all performing acts of love for one another
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tirisivir · 9 days ago
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Do you pronounce Hague “Hague” or ”Hague?”
You pronounce it “Ew”
(my town has a hate/hate relationship with Hague.)
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theannewithmiller · 10 days ago
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overheard June 11
I went out to have lunch earlier and this bunch of middle aged ladies on the other table started talking about hairs. One woman said, "It must be weird to sleep with a bald guy". They all laughed and said more naughty things that isn't suitable for my 26-year-old single ass.
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ringothedrumminglion · 11 days ago
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Paul: Hm, I think John’s becoming an autocrat.
George: What- he’s a car???
Ringo: That’s automobile, George.
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flxwergriever · 11 days ago
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“Your pronouns are what’s between your legs”
So what you’re going to refer to me as your mum now?
I’m sorry
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bitletsanddrabbles · 14 days ago
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Earlier Today
Man: *pushing a shopping cart through the parking lot with his son in the child safety seat* *singing* Bah bah black sheep, have you any wool?
Son: No! No, Daddy! No!
Man: No? Really? *stops singing, like a good, obedient parent*
Me: *unable to keep my big nose out of it* No wool today! No, sir!
Man: *laughs*
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fluffyhales · 14 days ago
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Overheard in the book shop:
"You think the JoJo books are hefty? You haven't seen anything until you're age 10 reading 800 pages of Order of the Phoenix"
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fandom-hoarder · 16 days ago
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Stylist behind us just read out her mom's text:
"'Say you have an Amazon shopping problem without SAYING you have an Amazon shopping problem.' And then she sent a picture of the two UPS trucks in her driveway--one was trying to pull out when the other one came up!"
I've seen this meme before, yet it's still amusing.
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huntingwraiths · 18 days ago
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"you never fucking miss"? no, i always fucking miss
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canadiancacktus · 19 days ago
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Cursed Things I've "Overheard" From My Friends: Part 2
This is kinda cheating, because this is something that my friend said to me directly, but shush and enjoy!
Me: *shielding my eyes* Fuck you sun!
Friend: *looking around* You're a father?
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canadiancacktus · 20 days ago
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Cursed Things I've Overheard From My Friends: Part 1
Friend #1: You can go wherever your imagination takes you!
Friend #2: Hell?
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odysseys-blood · 28 days ago
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"why do shows even present that type of stuff to kids so young they dont need to worry about it" bc theres lgbt children dumbass why do you think
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thebreakfastgod · a month ago
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does anyone have that “hmm, yeah, thats not technically a bromance.” post that was goin around a couple a days ago? i cant find it pls
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houseaegir · a month ago
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As much as I do love Azure Moon like seriously what is up with literally no one in universe ever pointing out the obvious logical flaws in Dimitri’s kneejerk assumption that Edelgard is responsible for the Tragedy??
I mean, for one only Byleth was with Dimitri when they overheard the Flame Emperor’s conversation, so to everyone else the idea that the Flame Emperor was even involved comes out of nowhere. And the only reason Dimitri and Byleth know is bc tFE brought it up and literally called it ‘a gruesome deed’ that those responsible for would find no salvation. I get that Dimitri isn’t exactly thinking straight but H o w does any of that translate to the Flame Emperor is personally responsible
Dimitri, pls, I know you have critical thinking skills in there somewhere
That fact that most of Azure Moon is fueled by this one ridiculous misunderstanding is kind of obnoxious, like of all the things to be legitimately upset with Edelgard over, why is the focus overwhelmingly on the one thing she didn’t do?
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