#over it like Jesus christ he is Not worth that much of ur emotional energy. i want her friends to find out and be chill with it so that she

[itriedandimtired]

Birthday

a/n: GUESS WHOSE BIRTHDAY IT IS– I've had this in my draft since March, and the moment it became May I was like- “why don't I publish this on his birthday?”, so here we are! Happy Birthday Roman Sanders 😔❤✨ also thank you so much to @palette6 (is that the url? They're deactivated I can't tag them :( ) for helping me with parts of whatever this is! :D

AU: Human!AU

Genre: Hurt/comfort

WARNINGS: toxic mother, feeling bad, hint of s*x joke, a little crying as well. it will be fluff by the end tho, oh also a LOT of time skips, bad writing because I'm too lazy to edit-

_____________

Roman jolted up on his bed.

School.

Roman thought, he gets up quickly turning to his door. That's when he stops for a second, recalling the fact he won't be going to school today. Of course, Patton was disappointed, but that was Roman's parents decision.

His parents insisted on visiting his brother, Remus. Roman had just plan to go out with Patton today, but guess his birthday can't go as well as he wishes.

Birthday.

‘One year closer to death’, as Virgil would say.

Roman sigh as he flops back onto his bed. He glance at his bags those he had packed up last night.

He will need to get ready soon.

_____(beep boop time skoop)_____

Roman dried himself up as soon as he finished taking bath. Usual morning, usual routine.

He soon changes into his outing outfit; which includes a pastel red sweater, skinny jeans, quarter white socks and his slip-on shoes.

Ding!

His phone lights up from the notifications.

Space nerd 🌌: Happy birthday, Roman.

Padre 🐶❤: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROMAN!! 💖💗💓💕

Emo nightmare 🕷: yo princey, happy birthday lmao

Okay, that made Roman smiled. God, he loves his friends so much.

He send replies to them, simple ones as his mother already called for him.

Roman shuts his phone then slips it into his pocket as he walks over to his bags, picking them up and walks outside his house in a fast pace.

He placed his bags inside the car, was ready to take a seat-

“You're not going to help your father? Really? ”

Those words from his mother hurts. He takes a deep breathe as he makes his way to his father and helps with what he could. He could tell this will be a tiring day, though anything barely starts.

_____(time skip brought to you by my love for Roman)_____

It was half-way through the journey when Roman had his earbuds on.

“Laying down my pride, I need to tell you how much I need you now.”

He leans against his window as he lets his mind drift off to the song. He loves the song, it reminds him of the time back then when he was mean to others, specifically Virgil.

He really wants to apologize, he really does. He just doesn't know how to. He just-

“ROMAN!”

He flinched at the call, quickly pulling off one of his earbuds as he stares at his mother. “Ye- yes?” He stuttered out.

“Jesus Christ, you're always with your earbuds! What are you even listening to?”

“I was listening to a song-”

“Well, does it have anything to do with your education?”

“No-”

“Then it's not worth it!”

Roman chew on his lower lips, he hates this. He doesn't like it when his mother keeps yelling at him for whatever interest he has.

“Roman, you're falling behind from your friends already. Quit disappointing me.”

Roman only nods at that, he only nods at every single words his mother yelled.

“How do you want it? How do I say it? How do I let you know that I'm sorry? ” the song played.

What a perfect timing.

_____(another time skip I'm so sorry-)_____

“Roman, pass me the tissue.”

Roman woke up from his sleep, barely awake. He passes his mother the tissue box – that's what she wanted, right? – weakly, haven't gaining his energy yet.

He swear he felt the tissue box was lift up, he swear someone had taken the tissue box from his hand. So why had it fallen when he let it go?

“Roman! God, can't you do a single thing right?!” his mother started yelling.

Roman is fully awake now, shrinking himself. He glance out of the window as his mother is still yelling, noticing how they're in front of the hotel they'll be staying at.

Only God knows how grateful he is for that.

Soon, but not soon enough, his mother stopped yelling. “Whatever, just go help your father with the bags.” Roman nods, getting out of the car to his father.

“Here, bring these. I'll bring the others.” His father said as he hands the younger male a bunch of bags. Roman takes them carefully, balancing himself and he makes his way to the hotel's main door.

“Hey, son?”

Roman stops, turning to his father.

“Happy birthday,” his father smiled.

Roman froze, before he returns the smile and whispers a soft “thank you”.

_____(last time skip I swear-)_____

Roman lies on the bed as he stares at the ceiling. He doesn't share the same room with his parents, which he thinks is a very good idea. Not only can he avoid his mother, but he could gives his parents some space if they're into.. something.

Roman chuckled at the thought, Remus had rub off on him. Then he remembered what happened that day. It's not that he's not used to is, because he is. He doesn't even know why his heart broke so much that day whenever his mother yells at him.

Could it be because it's his birthday? He doesn't know either. He never really feels like anyone care, so why is today any different? Why is his heart so sensitive specifically that day? Why are his emotions so messed up? Why-

Then he broke down. Roman burst into tears, he doesn't stop for quite a while. He doesn't know how long has he been crying, but it sure as hell feels really long.

His phone's ringing is what stopped his crying. He looks at his phone, realizing it was his friends who are calling him, and he's not in the mood for that. So he waits, until the ringing stops.

And when it does, he sighs of relief. The notification, however, changed his mind.

Space Nerd 🌌: Roman, I believe you do not want to upset Patton. I suggest you answer the phone next time.

Emo Nightmare 🕷: Dude, answer ur phone tf

Padre 🐶❤: answer the phone plsss :(

Roman stares at his phone, if Logan and Virgil agree on a thing; he knows for a fact that he should be doing whatever that is. But doesn't mean he can't disagree. Patton saying it, however–

Whatever, it was too late for that anyway.

Riiiingggg!

Or not. He sprinted to the bathroom, splashing water to his face. He messily wipes the water away before he answer the phone.

“Roman!!” Patton speaks happily, as Virgil only shows his ceiling leaving Logan to formally greet Roman.

“Hey guys! What's up?” Roman greets through the phone, Virgil then lifts up his phone revealing his eyes and eyeshadows under them. “What's up? It's your birthday, duh!” Virgil says.

“Yep! Oh, we prepared something!” Patton informed, getting up from the chair he was sitting on and sprinted to somewhere else. Roman is shocked, to say the least. This is his first birthday to celebrate with his friends, even if it's through the phone. He clearly hadn't expected anything more than a “Happy Birthday”.

However, here he is; laying on a hotel bed while he's face timing his friends, confused to why had his friends prepared something for his birthday.

Then Patton is back, with a paper in his hands. “We were planning to give it to you today, but you didn't come to school. But that's alright! I will read it out to you, alright?” Patton says cheerfully.

“Alright??” Roman answers- well, more like questioning.

“I will start with mine first! May I?”

“Of course, Patton. Go ahead.” Logan speaks, for the first time since his greet.

Patton takes a deep breath, before he starts reading the paper.

“Hola, Roman!” Roman quickly recognized the usage of Spanish, and he must admit; he's impressed that his friends even remember that he could speaks in Spanish. “If you're reading this – well more like listening now – happy birthday kiddo! I know you're going through some stuff, especially with your self-esteem–” Roman quickly teared up at the words “–but you stayed strong, and that honestly impressed me. I've always said this but, I'll always be here for you. You don't have to be afraid, because I'll fight for you just like how you Fight For Me.” Roman chuckled at the Heathers reference as he rubs his watery eyes. “Thank you, Puffball,” Roman muttered, luckily loud enough for the others to hear.

“You are very welcome! Logan, do you want to read yours by your own?” Patton asks directly at the logical male among the four. “That would be,, nice, Patton. Ahem- Roman, I'd like to wish you a happy birthday.”

It was quiet for a while, to the point Roman questioned if Logan is done. That was, until Logan speaks again.

“I also would like to let you know, you might as well be one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me. Having you as my best friend is an honor, admittedly. Though you could be loud and obnoxious at times, you still stick with me until now. I always thought friends will never be my main priority but, you proved me wrong–” Logan takes a deep breath “–I started my journey alone, until you came along. From that, the four of us got along. I am never great with emotions, so I hope you get what I mean.”

Roman was stunned, he never thought Logan out of all people would be the one who said such a thing.

“What I'm trying to say is, thank you Roman. For everything you've sacrificed, though it might looks silly, I know it means a lot to you.” Logan spoken again, which froze Roman even more. The tears he had wipe away are just coming back again threatening to fall off his eyes.

“Virgil? Would you like to read it by yourself or-”

“God- please read it for me, I don't think I have the courage.”

“Certainly,” Logan flips the paper he was holding. “Oh- I don't think me reading this would be a great option, so uh- Patton, if you'd like?” Logan phrased unsurely.

“Of course!” Patton flips his own paper before reading Virgil's letter.

“Yo, Princey. Happy birthday. So uh, y'know I'm not good with expressing feelings with words and cliches bs like this–” Patton had look confused when he reads the word ‘bs’, however let it go “–but just to let you know, I appreciate your efforts. I know you've been trying to improve yourself and trying to be less mean to me, and you're doing great. Yeah, you were a jerk and all but hey, past is the past and let's get over it. I know you feel guilty, and you're allowed to. But just know, you don't have to. And oh, another thing;” Patton smiled excitedly, before he reads out the last sentence.

“Thank you for willing to accept me, and now I'd do the same to you.”

Roman was crying, at that point. Sure, he was crying as well before they were video chatting but this time.

This time, he feels happy. He feels loved, accepted and content.

Breathlessly, he whispered “Thank you so much, for everything.”

#roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #platonic lamp #crying #ts remus #roman angst #like- at the start- that's it. only a little #hurt/comfort #lamp hurt/comfort #toxic mother tw #toxic mother #toxic parent #toxic parent tw

[luxeor]

Did you ever make a friendship on this site that ever made you feel like you were being policed? You know from those ppl who strive for moral purity and call out others on their shit for “misbehaving” over pointless crap, like making sexual jokes, laughing at dark humor, finding fault where there isn’t, implying that u are a bad person just cause u said “bitch”, backed up with a 5 page essay over why your action was problematic, guilt-tripping u for wanting money and material wealth as if those things were evil and just overall being super sensitive and taking things personally? Cutting those ppl out feels quite desintoxicating, relieving! Like I can understand their viewpoints and offer enough empathy and support specially to people those who feel misunderstood and hurt, but that behaviour gets annoying over time cause a lot of what they say or do is useless and gets in the way of other people’s goals and brings the mood down, in the real world u can’t always be morally pure to get ahead, there’s competition, a jungle, mean people who won’t have mercy to get their way and you can’t apply those standards to everything, otherwise they will take advantage of you, and u will end up on tumblr once again disappointed and whining about how mean and ugly the world is when you could have gotten your act together and fought back. If you are expecting a saviour to come do all the dirty work for u then you are done for, cause he’s not gonna come (and if he does he will most likely be an illusion thats going to turn your world into an abusive relationship, why u think so many strong, powerful men who get shy, submissive spouses end up like that, he will always be in a favourable position and end up dominating everything cause the spouse has no initiative for anything, they are just there roaming in their dream world wishing things would get better but don’t do shit to make their situation better), you will simply continue to waste your life letting many valuable opportunities and experiences pass by and that fuckin sucks u know. It’s annoying, stupid, selfish even, there’s so much more to do with ur energy than spend it observing people’s shortcomings and pointing them out to fit your delusional ideals, it’s like these ppl are just emotional baggage that u have to constantly reassure with ur words and actions and yet they offer nothing in exchange except making u feel restrained and like carefully walking on broken glass shards cause u are afraid u might offend them with something. 

Y’all know I was in a similar position years ago, crippling with unbearing anxiety and depression, I wanted to get out of there and did it, I didn’t stay in a bubble to protect my inner world while ignoring realities like many people on this site do. It really, REALLY pisses me off how so many people on this site live in some false delusion that their feelings, opinions and ideologies really matter that much that they will change society to a state of utopian moral grandness when they barely even leave the house, can’t stand being in the real world with their own two feet for more than a little while and get intimidated or even demonize people who are self-confident, successful, work hard for themselves and provide for their friends/families, then excusing their own behaviours with “not everyone’s neurotypical karen” “MY ILLNESS, MY FEELINGS, THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND MY PAIN, MY STRUGGLES!!” to not do anything, continue living like that and followed by making pathetic memes to make ppl feel sorry for them. 

Like jesus fucking christ bitch, stop, why is it that u dislike having self-respect so much to make others pity you, and why when someone has a positive confident attitude you have to shit on them with your condescending ass, like please develop and grab onto positive feelings more for once and focus more in your surroundings, other ppl! You are already in touch with your inner states TOO much to the point of overthinking and to complete inaction, so its KEY to focus externally, help other ppl, even something as minimal as asking how was ur day to ur friend helps, tell a joke, make ppl laugh, observe what they like/dislike, why spend so much time circulating in ur own negative emotions and overthinking to the point that u can’t function properly, ignore those thoughts! Kill ur brain, shut it down if it’s blasting u with unnecessary thoughts, If someone’s mean to u just think: fuck them! Don’t put your self-worth in others cause that ALWAYS has to lie within u, they don’t know shit about u, and besides, chances are that the ppl u think will make fun of you are actually afraid of u too but because they don’t want to offend u, they are not sure as to how to deal with u and when things don’t go well they get just as frustrated as u might be, ppl generally have good intentions but they can read you by how u dress, your facial expressions, your way of walking, your speech, those are all cues to who you are and it’s easy to tell when someone is insecure and shy, with those signals the other person is just gonna think they will give u a hard time, even though they don’t want to hurt u. Like bitch even if u don’t have a skinny body or a pretty face, a smile and positive attitude always makes the difference, people will always prefer that over someone who while pretty, sexy or hot has a shitty selfish attitude and just doesn’t make a good impact on anyone. Like just fuckin engage in the world in a meaningful way cause you just can’t ignore it and stay in a bubble expecting your life to get magically better, it won’t be easy at first and u will screw up definitely, but with constant practice you will get used to interacting with others in a more healthy manner and feel more confident to say “i can do this” and eventually exert control over what goes around u, stop disrespecting urself reblogging self-depreciating memes, policing ppl, ignoring reality and get to the action, analyze, observe, make objective conclusions of your situation and act on them, your feelings are not entirely ur compass for decision making, cause just know it, the world doesn’t give a shit about ur feelings until they see you can stand up for yourself, provide love, affection to others and give them the sense of security they need to trust you, don’t be someone’s emotional baggage please cause that’s just rock bottom and you'd do so much good to yourself and others by getting out of there, not staying in it like many posts on tumblr might encourage you, cause that’s just... yikesssss.

[edenrelente]

Life Lesson 293. WOP 2018

An unforgettable experience in my last year in college. I’d like to share my manuscript <3 The life of Abraham is a very timely reminder for me that time. And even today, I am still being reminded of how to trust Jesus. Be Blessed!

“From Doubtful to Faithful”

Genesis 15:6

October 8, 2018

 I. INTRODUCTION:

*Heartbeat*

Who are you?

What is your identity?

Whose voices are you listening to?

Good morning PIC!

There are times that we find ourselves saying, “I’m such a loser”, “I’m failure”, “I can’t do this”.

There are times as well that you look at other people and think, “They are so much better than me” And you even look at the mirror and think “I’m so ugly”.

You don’t know your worth.

You are confused.

You are anxious.

You are afraid.

You are doubting.

           Is these thinking or feelings good or bad? How do we know?

Slide “Identity is an individual’s self-definition that focuses on enduring characteristics of the self.”

Here in the Philippines, some Filipinos represents the country both locally and internationally. Their name is so popular. They have a title. And sometimes those title defines them and later on becomes their identity.

To give you examples we have: slide Mr. Pure Energy, Gary Valentiano; slide Pambansang Bae, Alden Ricahards; slide Philippines’ Pride, Lea Salonga; slide Pambansang Kamao, Many Paquiao. And so on.

What title do you want have? I believe that each of us, whether part showbiz or non-showbiz, we have our identity as well.

“From Doubtful to Faithful”

In the Bible, there are a lot of characters who have their identity also. And one of them is, Abraham. What do you think is his identity? We are going to begin a study of the life of Abraham.

I request you to bow your heads we ask Jesus to speak to us this morning.

*Pray*

II. BODY:

Identity.

Purpose.

Doubt.

Destiny.

*Transform*

I will be your spiritual doctor for today. slide And we will be doing a spiritual check-up…

According to my secretary, my patients today are having difficulties with identity, faith, and doubt. Hm…

Maybe you’ve been struggling with an issue in your life and you’ve been praying to God and asking for His help but you haven’t had any answer and you feel like nobody’s at home in heaven.

Maybe you’ve questioned whether God has forgiven you.

And you have this residue of guilt and shame that you can’t seem to get rid of.

And you wonder, “Am I really significant?”

Maybe you question whether the Bible can really be trusted these days by thinking, twenty-first century people.

Maybe you’ve said to yourself, “I think I’m a Christian. But maybe I wasn’t sincere enough when I prayed that prayer. So now maybe I’m not so sure.”

The truth is, there’s a spiritual virus that has been going around Christian circles for centuries.

It’s slide the virus of doubt.

Because if you seriously contemplate your faith in Jesus Christ, then it’s almost inevitable that sooner or later you’re going to have some issues, some questions, some hesitations, some uncertainties or some doubts over one thing or another.

This is not just a Christian experience.

It is a human experience.

slide Abraham was a native of Chaldea, and descendant in the ninth generation from Shem, the son of Noah. His father’s name was Terah, and he was born in Ur, 2161 B.C.

He is known as the Father of Faith. slide Romans 4:16 (NLT) So the promise is received by faith. It is given as a free gift. And we are all certain to receive it, whether or not we live according to the law of Moses, if we have faith like Abraham’s. For Abraham is the father of all who believe.

The life of Abraham, from his call to his death, consists of four periods, the commencement of each of which is marked by a divine revelation. The four periods are: slide 1) The Call, 2) The Promise, 3) The Covenant, and 4) The Test. But, Abraham had reasons to doubt God time and time again. His life illustrates a quotation by Frederick Buechner: Slide "Doubts are the ants in the pants of faith. They keep it awake and moving" 

Just like Abraham, sometimes we think that God needs our help and that we have a better plan than He does. However, every time we get in the way we make a mess of things.

slide We need to realize that...

a. God Doesn't Need Our Help

b. God's Plans Always Work Out Better

c. God Sees What We Cannot

Slide From the message of Peter Kreeft (2012), we need to have distinction between faith and doubt.

slide    2 Kinds of Faith

1.    An act of intellect that embraces an idea without proof.

2.    Personal trust in a person.

It’s like I trust this road slide because I trust this map. *raise your map*

2 Kinds of Doubts

1.    Distrust in an idea

2.    Distrust in a person

slide I. HOW DOES THE VIRUS OF DOUBT INFECT US?

Basically in three ways

slide 1. Doubt Infects Our Mind.

Often intellectual doubts come in through our mind.

We read the Bible, put it down – wait a second!

“Am I to believe there are really things like angels and demons and Satan and heaven and hell and that Jesus is really coming back? Are these things credible?”

Doubts can come into our mind if we don’t know why we believe what we believe.

slide 2. Doubt Infects Our Emotions.

This can happen in several ways.

Some people have a faith that is fundamentally built on feelings.

Faith is fundamentally a decision of the will to follow Jesus Christ.

Certain personality types are more susceptible to doubt.

These are the melancholy kind of personalities.

There’s no problem being a melancholic, contemplative person who happens to have a lot of anguish in their life.

The problem comes in when they compare themselves to other people.

Another way doubts can enter into our emotions is through emotional scaring that has taken place in our past.

For instance, you may have suffered abuse from a parent when you were a child.

Or a dad may have walked out on your family or your parents may have gone through a divorce.

Or maybe a spouse left you.

And when you go through that kind of abandonment very often that kind of experience can lead to chronic doubts in your life toward God.

Uncertainties that are deep down inside.

You’re just waiting for God to let you down like your dad did or your mom did or your spouse did.

For most people that kind of experience doesn’t lead them to atheism, but it creates barriers between them and God.

Why?

Because they may have such anger toward their earthly fathers deep down inside that it’s very hard to even consider the possibility of a heavenly Father that they would want to know.

Or they may be feeling like, “If I put my trust in God, I’m going to end up being abandoned just like my dad abandoned me through death or divorce or whatever.”

So emotions can create barriers between us and God whether we’re aware of them or not.

slide 3. Doubt Infects Our Will.

Doubt can come in through our point of decision.

So doubts can breed in our minds, our emotions, our wills.

But the key thing is what you do with it when you’ve got it.

In the Bible, there is no statements that tell that Abraham doubted but his actions does. Abraham’s faith was tested at least twelve specific times. Some of them were not what we might call big tests, but together they establish a picture of Abraham as a person whose faith was genuine.

From doubtful to faithful. To understand this further, Abraham undergoes this seasons in his life. slide He started with faith, doubt, and faith again. And the cycle goes on and on.

slide Genesis 12: 1-3 THE CALL OF ABRAM:

I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.

·         Faith to obey god

slide Genesis 12: 10-20 1ST MISTAKE: ABRAM LIED

·         “Please say that you are my sister so that it may go well with me because of you, and that I may live on account of you.” Gen. 12:13

Slide Even if Abraham’s moral judgment may have been in error, God Himself intervened to protect her (Gen. 12:17)

slide Genesis 13: 14-18 THE PROMISE TO ABRAM:

·         I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth

slide Genesis 15: 1-6 GOD’S COVENANT WITH ABRAM:

God appears to Abram again.

“He took him outside and said, Slide ‘Look up at the sky and count the stars—if indeed you can count them.’ Then he said to him, ‘So shall your offspring be.’”

God also promised to give Abram a land to live in.

Abram wants proof, Slide God cuts a covenant with Abram.

Abram goes to prepare the ritual ceremony for the covenant between them by cutting several sacrificial animals in half.

 Abram brings a heifer...

..and a goat

...and a ram

...as well as a pigeon and a turtle dove

 He kills them all and cuts the larger ones in half

...and the blood forms a pool between the pieces

Abram waits for God and a thick and dreadful darkness falls

God appears as a smoking fire pot and a blazing torch

And God walks the blood-path in Abram's place

This was a very common practice in the desert communities of the Middle East, especially in marriage covenants, and is also where we get the term "cutting a covenant" or "cutting a deal."

When two parties: Slide Suzerains (Kings) and Vassals (Subject) came together make a covenant, they would kill animals and let the blood pool between the pieces. Abraham does this and then waits for God to act.

The pool of blood is known as a blood-path.

The two parties must both walk through the blood path to symbolize the solemn agreement they have made.

The greater party goes first, saying, “May what was done to these animals be done to me if I do not keep this covenant.”

God walks through the blood first.

The text reads that smoke appeared and passed between the animal pieces.

This smoke is understood to represent the presence of God.

God’s end of the deal: “I will give you land and descendants, one of whom will be the Messiah.”

Abram’s end of the deal: “You and your descendants must walk before me and be perfect.”

Abram and his descendants were in no way perfect.

It’s Abram’s turn to walk through the blood, but in so doing he would be condemning himself and his descendants to death.

God stops Abram and walks through a second time in Abram's place in the form of fire, implying, “If either one of us break this covenant, then I’ll die for both of us.”

God sentences Himself to die in the place of Abram and his descendants if they ever sin... which you already know is exactly what happens later if you're familiar with the Jesus story at all.

“Fire always represents God.”

God made a covenant with Abraham my dear brothers and sisters.

Slide Genesis: 16: 1-4 2ND MISTAKE: HE FOLLOWED HIS WIFE INSTEAD OF TRUSTING IN GOD

·         Here God is, promising Abram a huge family over and over again (13:16; 15:5), but his wife Sarai has not yet born a child. That is simply a big fat contradiction.

 Sarai becomes impatient with God's plan and comes up with one of her own and Abram agreed with Sarai’s proposal.

 Sarai takes matters into her own hands and offers her slave girl to Abram. They'll produce an heir this way.

 Sometimes short cuts are a good thing, but other times they just get us lost.

Slide Genesis 17: THE COVENANT OF CIRCUMCISION: FROM ABRAM TO ABRAHAM

·         Thirteen years after the birth of Ishmael the son of Abram, God appears to Abram. The Lord commands that he walk before God perfectly. God promises Abram he’d become a father of nations and changes his name to Abraham.

·         When Abram was 99 years old, God appeared to him again and reaffirmed the covenant they had made together ten years ago.

 ·         God commanded Abram to walk before him and be perfect.

 ·         God then changed Abram’s name to Abraham and Sarai’s name to Sarah, and said that they would be the parents of many nations and kings.

 ·         God gives them new identities - He makes new people out of them.

 Slide Abram means "exalted father."

        Abraham means "father of multitudes."

 ·         Abram (now Abraham) laughed at God and told Him to just bless Ishmael because Sarai (now Sarah) was too old.

 ·         God's response:

 ·         “I will make Ishmael into a great nation as well, but I will still give Sarah a son.”

·         “You will name him ‘Isaac,’ because you laughed at my promise.”

Slide “Isaac” means “laughter.”

Slide Genesis 20: ABRAHAM’S 3RD MISTAKE: HE LIED AGAIN

·         In Gerar Abraham said, "Sarah is my sister." King Abimelech took her but God warned him in a dream. He restored Sarah to Abraham.

Slide Genesis: 21: 1-6: THE BIRTH OF ISAAC

·         Sure enough, Sarah gets pregnant and gives birth to a son.

·         That's right—the 90-year-old lady had a baby. The narrator emphasizes that this is in accordance with what the deity has been saying all along (remember 15:5; 17:16-19; 18:10?)

Slide Genesis 22:1-14 THE TEST OF ABRAHAM

·         It was a test for Abraham to leave his homeland, live among the Canaanites, separate from Lot, wait 25 years for the birth of Isaac, but nothing compared to this test of his faith.

·         From Abraham's perspective God's request was totally incomprehensible.

·         Not only was God asking him to sacrifice a child, but he was asking him to sacrifice the child of the promise, the miracle child.

·         The long awaited child. What makes this such a staggering test is that is was totally contrary to God's character and would completely destroy everything that God was doing.

Now Abraham shows us what it really means to trust God. It says, Slide "The next morning Abraham got up early. He saddled his donkey and took two of his servants with him, along with his son, Isaac. Then he chopped wood for a fire for a burnt offering and set out for the place God had told him about."

a. We need to pay special attention to how Abraham responds.

b. The text does not say one word about how Abraham feels, only about what he does.

c. He doesn't argue with or question God he simply obeys without delay (Ross, 398).

d. Abraham did not consult with anyone about this. He simply obeyed God, trusting in him (Horton, 185).

e. Faith is not about intellect, emotion, or rationale. Faith is about action!

Illustration: Faith is unutterable trust in God, trust which never dreams that He will not stand by us." — Oswald Chambers

Faith means you trust God in everything. Slide Proverbs 3:5 (NLT) Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.

a. It means you trust God when things are good and when they are bad.

b. It means you trust God when you have plenty and when you have lack.

c. It means you trust God when you understand and when you don't have a clue.

d. It means you trust God for everything, everywhere, and in every circumstance.

Transition: What are you trusting in?

The story of Abraham shows the faithfulness of God and the unfaithfulness of man. But because of God not giving up on his life, Abraham learned to trust God fully. Even though he failed in some points in his life, he still focus himself to Christ. Giving Jesus Christ a chance. Trusting Him again. We have the confidence that God is doing what's best for us. Our identity is in God. HIs covenant in each of our lives will not change. His plans in our lives will not change.  Believe in Him. Let us renew our covenant to Jesus. Let us go back to Him.

After the last of these, God said, slide “Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son” (Genesis 22:16).

Do you still have doubts? Do you still have questions of your existence?

Our Key Text for today is found in Genesis 15:6, Slide “And believed in the Lord: an he counted it to him for righteousness”.

My Experience:

Believe in the Lord…

This semester, I was admitted twice. First, I had a fever last August, during the Acquaintance Night I and it was found out that it was dengue already. And after one week I was admitted again because of Cellulitis. Let me show you my face a month ago. slide *show picture* Kaya I don’t want visitors for 6 days. And I want to specially mention our AUP Health Service, the whole team for taking care for me with the collaboration of College of Dentistry. Thank you so much. My face is back! HAHAHA. That time, I was really questioning God, should I continue life? Should I continue being the CSC President? You know, I was still adjusting, and then the demand of the academics is high, plus the CSC, with the planning, organizing, and executing. I’m tired. Really tired. But again, God is faithful.

slide I was only 16 when I first came here in AUP. I came all the way from Mindanao. And I don’t have anyone here in Luzon. And I thank God for the family of Ptr. and Ma’am Javien and for the family of Mr. and Mrs. Canoy for being my first family here in the campus.

I remembered myself crying because of homesickness. I longed for belongingness also. I thought no one likes me here. I missed my home. I am alone here. But you know, I was thankful for those “wrong feelings” because it pushed me to long for someone. And that is Jesus Christ.

Before being your CSC President, brothers and sisters, I started as being prayer warrior only in the dorm. That is my only other curricular when I was in my freshmen year. One of my favourite places in the campus is the Sampaguita Residence Hall prayer room. I started there my dear brothers and sisters. I started to pray alone. Then my dormitory dean saw my prayers in the prayer log book. Then she called my attention and invited me to become part of the prayer ministry in the dorm. And it did not end there. I was invited to become part of Philippine International Church, prayer ministry. There were unexpected friendships that were created. Then I was invited to be part of Ministerial Association, and eventually was given a responsibility as one of the officers. Then in my department, in my college, and now in the whole university. But unfortunately, my dear brothers and sisters, having them all, I am not exempted. As having that feeling of inferiority, I sometimes claim them as my identity. Eden, the president. Eden… I am holier than others. I am above than others. I am more responsible than others. I am almost perfect than others. Then I pressure myself. I pushed too much. Then I become tired, become doubtful and unqualified.

In spite of the blessings, my dear brothers and sisters, I still struggled for acceptance, recognition, and acknowledgement from people. I am still empty. I am still comparing myself with others.

As an introvert individual, when I came here in AUP. I became selective in choosing friends. I don’t want to be over-evaluated. I don’t want to be wronged with my dictions and grammar. I remembered one kuya back then who asked me if I am a foreigner because I am not talking. He was assuming that I cannot understand them. Haha.

My father is very strict person. He is not that expressive. And I felt before that he doesn’t appreciate me at all. To achieve my father’s standard, I became too controlling of things. I want to be the best in everything. I aim for perfection. I hate failing.

My journey to contentment began, just a year ago. Imagine after 19 years of existence, all my masterful methods of control, by and by, evaporated. I failed one subject in our qualifying exam. And it’s a big deal to me. Unconsciously, I used my grades is my identity. My grades defines me. Which is so wrong. After the failure, I don’t know who I am. I questioned my prayer life. I questioned the lifestyle that I have. I questioned God. I shifted from being tight to being loose in relationship with God. I stopped watching movies back then, but after failing, I continued watching movies. I stopped listening to worldly music, but after failing, I started listening to them. I started to sleep late at night. I started being active in my social media accounts again. I told myself, why wake up in the morning and pray if I will still fail. Why do and attend worship when at the end you will still fail. I gave up already my dear brothers and sisters. But the Lord kept knocking in my heart. And I thank Him for not giving up on me. Just like Abraham, in spite his questions, he still gave Jesus a chance. Who am I not to give Jesus a chance? If you feel worthless, come to Jesus again. Come to Jesus again.

slide Romans 4:18-21 (NIV)

18 Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” 19 Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead. 20 Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21 being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.

slide E.G. This is the sacred duty of every Christian:

“You have to talk faith, you have to live faith, you have to act faith, that you may have an increase of faith. Exercise that living faith, you will grow to strong men and women in Christ Jesus.” Faith and Works, 78.

Looking back, we realized we did desire to trust God but sometimes we feel He was very slow, just like what Abraham experienced. We unconsciously decided He needed our help. But again, God doesn’t need our help. When we take over and try to control what happens, we take our focus off the One who is in control and put our eyes on our circumstances. I had failed to make God my trust because I tried too hard. My life is out of control, so I give up. It’s impossible to make sense of life, beyond impossible to be content, so we give up and give in. Most of us either try too hard or we quit trying. In both cases, we miss God. We miss His infusion of strength that leads to contentment.

*Music for appeal song*

Before Christ, I was a different person.

 Sinful, Doubtful, Broken, Selfish, Blinded *place each word in the card boards*

 This person was my old nature, my old self. But that person died and my life is now hidden with Christ. *raise the Tupperware* I am in Christ. And He is in me. I am a new creation. This doesn’t mean I will never stumble or fall back into old patterns. But I will call them what they are: Old patterns, old habits of the old person. I will confess them. I will thank God for His forgiveness. I will make amends. And then, I – will – move on. Not because I am taking sin slightly. But because I am taking seriously who God says I am:

 I am … Holy through Him, Pure, Unstained without blemished, Child of God. *place each word in the card boards*

 Not because of anything I’ve done. But because of what God has done for me. He has wiped my slate clean. I am blameless before God. Therefore shame has no place in my life. Because I am a new creation. And all of my ugly parts of my story, the parts I want to pretend never happened have been redeemed. And they have become the moments in my life when God’s grace is most on display. Thank you God my mistakes do not define me. My past does not define me. Because God define my identity. I am His beloved child. In whom He is well pleased. This is my identity.

*After Appeal Song*

Gen 15:1  "After these things the word of the LORD came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward." God's grace is sufficient. It gives us strength, protection and most of all direction in life. Won't you accept it. God will help you as long as you are struggling to believe and understand. But we must move on in faith. If we don't, God will not be able to bring our lives to fruition.  *Pray*