#outside the coffin a woman forever thoughtful.ophelia headcanons

[caimkairos]

act 1 (act 4) : tis brief, my lord

It was a dark abyss.

There was something faint, a needle thin place of light.

Ah, that... that light... it’s like a candle about to finally go out... but in a distant memory, so long ago yet so recent

       it

                   was

“Ah. So your world’s ending, [̉̆͗ͧ̑͊͌̈̚҉̵͚̺̜͙̹͉̮̼̗͍ ̸̢̛̪̻̠̞͇̯̮̬͇̂͊̋̇̔͐ͯ͒ͪ̋̅ͧ̚̕͜ ̇̑͒̎ͩͮͣ͆̅ͣ̚͜҉̟̪̗̮͍̙̥̥͠ ̸̢͖͖̹̱͔̹̖̥̅ͩ̓́ͤͤ͜͞͞ ̐ͥ̂ͥ͟҉͓͍̮͞ ̵̰̱̦̝͈͚̟͓̱̘͍̤̭̘̂ͤ̑̄ͅ ̡̦̖̘̙̗͕̝̝͍ͭ̈́ͦ̊ͤ͘ ̧̻̻̰̻̩̤̫̺͖̝̱͖̫̖̬͈͎͗ͣͬ̅ͪ̈́̚͜͡ͅ ̌ͮ̉͐̈̏̏ͬ̔ͬͥͪͭ̇̏͆̚҉̡̛̘̙̱̜̦͔̺̬̼̮̘̹͉̱͡͠]̧̰̣̳͇̞͍͐ͧ͂ͯ́̅͆̋͒͆̾̀ͫ̅͞ .”

                                     something

                           lost.

Those words were faintly familiar. A memory that only brings muddling. There’s a pain, intense, like it’s the only thing she can feel. Like the only thing that certainly exists is this throbbing, world ending-

Pain.

It hurts to think. It’s thick, and heavy. It makes everything feel-

    “ Oͬ̂͐ͤ̄ͬ̊̀́ ̶͋̑͊͂͛ͧ̍̈́͟p̨̎̅̉ȟͫ͒ͭ́͝ ̂̐̃͢͢ ̾ͫ͛̌̌͋̐̆̀͜e͑̏ͪ͐͊̍̉̇͏͞ ̷͑͋ͯͥlͮ́̈̅ͨͧiͤͫ͘҉ ̴̆̈́ͨ͂ͬ̉́͒aͭ͒͘. ”

That voice. It’s a bitter irony, isn’t it? So even dead, they were trapped together. But... her eye hurts. How can it hurt? She ripped it out. She used... she had... it was supposed to overwrite the world. So how-

Pain. It’s heavy, it’s deep, and it’s intense. It cuts all thought off at the root. Is it watering? Is it being plucked out? It just hurts. It hurts more than the way the coffin heated up in the flame and burnt her skin, more than the choking of smoke, more than drowning, falling and drowning-

-when did she nearly drown-

Pain.

“ O̷ph̕e̵l̛ia.̀ ”

It’s an assertion. A voice that shouldn’t be so steady. It says her name. It stands out in this moment. Everything else feels hazy, but one think anchors her. One thing proves who she is. A lone fact against the imaginary abyss.

When she finally opens her eye, there is red. Red coats the world- no, it’s streaks, not a coating. Red winds around her, like a string, making the rest of her body feel like air in how it cuts through her vision. There’s no candlelight, and for a moment there’s something nearly panic, but-

“Ophelia.”

It’s there.

It’s in her eye.

If she closes it, she can see it at the back of her eyelid. A faint flame. It grows brighter for a moment at her own acknowledgement.

“Can you breathe, Ophelia?” It seems ridiculous. She tries to draw a breath-

It’s useless. It’s like she can’t even pantomime the motion. It hurts. She can’t breath.

“Ophelia.”

She can’t.

“Ophelia. Breathe.”

That’s her name. The candle in her eye makes it feel warm, like crying, like bleeding, like a migraine, like a purpose, like an anchor plunging into the ice, like the fire burning the sea, like drowning in the abyss-

Surtr.

Ophelia takes one breath in. Where did the red that surrounded her go? It’s gone with her ability to breathe, an exchange of sorts, yet the flame in her head is still there, a comforting burden. An anchor to her lost vessel, in the same way she anchors him. (Of course, if she didn’t successfully die, he’d still be there.)

“You’re still here.”

“Of course. You’re alive, Master.”

“How?”

“How should I know? You did it, not me.”

It’s not an abyss like an ocean. There is gravity, yet it’s a floating, aimless thing, like it doesn’t care what way it goes. There’s no light, yet she can see her whole body. There’s nothing here, yet she feels alone, yet she feels like that is noteworthy, because such emptiness cannot be so empty, she must have company.

No. Wait. 

This is impossible.

(An irritating “There you go, Master.” is ignored.)

It’s impossible for a space to have all these qualities at once. Yet it does. That’s a fact. So, this isn’t reality. This can’t be reality. The Sirius Light- it reshapes the world. It would take her life, over and over until she died, because that was the cost for reshaping the world. It was a conceptual power, a miracle on the level of the mightiest God. 

So how was she here? 

...where is here?

(If she’s alive, can it be reality? Can her existence be confirmed? It’s the basis of a rayshift. An existence must be confirmed to exist. Similarly to deep dives, where Chaldea needed a solid tether to the world to emerge.)

(So how is she existing, conscious, breathing?)

(It leads her thoughts, calm yet panicked, to one simple question:)

(Who can confirm that Ophelia Phamrsolone exists?)

(Who can tether her existence to ‘reality?’)

(Does she exist if she cannot be-?)

(Stuck in another coffin-)

(An empty coffin-)

Then, if this is not reality, it is the realm of imaginary numbers-

Somewhere utterly untraversable by a lone human-

This is the other side of the sixth element-

(By virtue of her upbringing, an important fact has been forgotten in her attempts to ponder the truth of this situation.)

And she emerges unto salt and chalk, onto the bleached earth. Like the world (not world) itself has spat her out like a forgotten newborn, tossed out with the bathwater.

The smallest mercy is that it’s not wet like any normal birth. It’s more being shaken out of a cracked egg. It’s quiet, but there’s the sound of wind as she blinks her eyes into vision.

This is what she and the others wrought. This is what Lo- what- what Kirschtaria took as... a blessing in disguise. A way to fix the world.

It’s horrifying. With unsteady legs, shaking like they’ve never yet been used, she stands.

Alone.

A speck in the emptiness. Ophelia stares out at the emptiness, something empty and full all at once in her chest.

It’s terrifying.

It’s liberating.

It’s isolating.

(Traitor. Who will you go to? Who can you face?)

It’s reality.

...and there’s nothing to do, now, but walk.

#the youngest glimpse of spring sunlight.ophelia ic #outside the coffin a woman forever thoughtful.ophelia headcanons #please read for more! or don't.meta tag #unreality tw #suicidal ideation tw

[caimkairos]

Muse Aesthetics

Birthstone (Diamond)  A diamond is a stone that truly states, “I love you” in a deep way. In fact, you’ve probably heard the slogan many times that “a diamond is forever.” This is because of the stone’s symbol of deep, everlasting love, as well as the fact that it’s the hardest substance known on earth. Giving a diamond as an engagement ring did not actually become a standard until the De Beers marketing campaign started, during the 20th century. Diamonds have many positive mystical attributes and healing properties. The diamond is associated with activating the seventh chakra, Sahasrara, uniting the mind with the body. Throughout time, diamonds have been thought to improve the wearer’s life in many ways, specifically by bringing clarity (perhaps related to the clarity of the stone itself) into the wearer’s mind and life. This clarity presents clear, positive resolutions to all problems.

Birth Flower (Sweet Pea) Sweet Pea is a climbing, fragrant plant that comes in over 250 varieties. It symbolizes modesty and simplicity. The meaning of the word may mean "goodbye" or "delicate pleasure". It is believed that the name Sweet Pea was first used by the English poet John Keats (1795-1821). Sweet Pea was considered the floral emblem of Edwardian England and was popular in the late 1800’s. English gardeners still call Sweet Peas the "Queen of Annuals". The secret message conveyed by the Sweet Pea is the Victorian era was, "Thank you for a lovely time". The Sweet Pea is used in wedding bouquets or to celebrate a birth of a new baby. It also celebrates Easter, Good Friday, Palm Sunday and Passover.

Astrological Sign (Aries) Aries are independent, creative, enthusiastic, generous and optimistic people. As the first of the zodiac signs, you are a go getter and a trend setter and are a confident, natural leader. With such strong, fiery, magnetic and upbeat personalities, you tend to leave an impression on everyone you come in contact with. You like to be the center of attention and live an adventurous, spontaneous life. Aries are also known to have great senses of humor, and the ability to get along with everyone. As a friend, you are loyal and devoted, and will do anything possible to support your loved ones.

Birth Tree (Rowan)  You are ambitious, honest, communicative, charming, passionate, artistic, gifted, and cheerful. You have a philosophical mind, with truly creative and original ideas that influence others. People come to you to ask about your perspective and for your insight. You seem to have a cool exterior, but inside you are burning with passionate ideals, which push you as you make your way along the path of life. You believe in being absolutely true of character and never sacrifice your integrity for any kind of hidden motive.

tagged by: @corrchoigilt​ (thank you!!) tagging: you, bc my brain is fumbling w/usernames rn! you specifically!

#bounce bounce back to me.dash games #outside the coffin a woman forever thoughtful.ophelia headcanons

[caimkairos]

medusa gorgon has got it going on (what monster date are you going on)?

medusa

you'll take medusa out for a night and fall tragically, deeply in love with her. even her snakes will like you. you want to treat a woman well, and make her feel adored, emotionally and physically. if this means bringing along some dead rats to feed the reptiles and a pair of ray-bans you found on sale, you'll do it.

tagged by: i stole it tagging: thou

#bounce bounce back to me.dash games #outside the coffin a woman forever thoughtful.ophelia headcanons #((it's the eye symbolism!

[caimkairos]

You set sail alone there is no crew No one on the deck who can help you This is all your own battle to win This is your ship and you are the captain

#used to be a girl in a bottle.ophelia musings #outside the coffin a woman forever thoughtful.ophelia headcanons #heart was a good thing lead astray.ophelia aesthetics #but just to live you desperately prayed.ophelia desires #a very colorblind visionary.ophelia crack

[caimkairos]

what combination of scents do others associate with you?

saffron, juniper berries, bitter almond, myrrh

everything you touch is electric, you close your eyes and can feel the heartbeats of everyone around you. they slow down as you take a deep breath, and you float over to something that briefly caught your eye.

tagged by: @viivyre​ ((thank you!!)) tagging: you!!

#bounce bounce back to me.dash games #outside the coffin a woman forever thoughtful.ophelia headcanons

[caimkairos]

Ophelia is, in most circumstances, colorblind. She can’t see color in her left eye, the one without a mystic eye. Since she keeps her mystic eye covered, this means that she can’t see color on a general basis.

While she can take her eyepatch off to see, it quickly becomes an overwhelming migraine. The mystic eye of prolongation is overwhelming to begin with and prone to activating and observing possibilities. To use a computer as a metaphor, it acts as a sort of program running in the background taking up memory and RAM when it is open, even if not ‘actively’ being used. 

It tends to leave afterburns of color in her vision, and even while closed, things and people she has recently observed often have remnants of color in them, in varying lengths of time depending on her length and severity of observing and confirming their fates. 

A very select few who have been observed too in-depth or too constantly by her eye turn up in perpetual color, whether she likes it or not.

Ophelia, as such, associates color not with the world in general, or with beauty, but with a headache. Color was never something beautiful.

A rainbow, despite its impact on her, is still mildly annoying to her as a result, but despite her claims, she tends to enjoy them.

Her favorite color is red, but she’d never admit it, or admit why. (Especially not that there may be multiple ‘why’s.)

#outside the coffin a woman forever thoughtful.ophelia headcanons