#otp: hmwyc

[consumedkings-archive]

X: HIT ME WITH YOUR CAR — lyra fairbanks x elliot honeysett for @faithchel

"Deputy," Lyra says, eyes glittering dark as the last light of the evening cuts across the pavement, "what are you doing? Besides obstructing my driveway."

Elliot exhales out of her mouth. "Not an obstruction if you'd run me over."

This inspires an arching, manicured brow, like the redhead isn't quite expecting it. "Pardon?"

"If you'd run me over," Ell reiterates slowly, brows furrowing as she pushes herself to a sitting position, "I wouldn't be an obstruction, would I?"

"I'm afraid vehicular manslaughter isn't particularly to my tastes." A pause. "And how much…'' Blue eyes squint, unforgiving. "Canned wine, Deputy Honeysett? Come now."

#otp: hmwyc #not to be mistake with #r: hmwyc #or #otp: so true bestie #girls just being girls hanging out asking the other one to run them over and end their suffering #after slamming canned wine in the middle of the road #not pictured: shaggy laying down beside her #so true bestie #this is obviously pre-raccoon herd #can't rush into parenting thirty raccoons together #ch: elliot honeysett #oc: lyra fairbanks #u know that feeling when ur really hot next door neighbor wants to make out even though ur a gremlin? #yeah. that

[consumedkings-archive]

💒 + hmwyc & two and a half vamps xx

HI STELLA I LOVE U SM. no pretty banners this time bc im on my phone pls bear with me

✨ HIT ME WITH YOUR CAR: elliot x lyra

• this is perhaps the one sinful pairing shaggy supports, thanks to he and ell bonding through their mutual suffering. in fact they bond so much that elliot makes shaggy her man of honor!

• scarlet is 100000% thrilled about elliot and lyra getting married! she is less thrilled that john is around (somehow - she's not really sure where he fits into this, quite). this is also because scarlet has never spent more than maybe an hour in lyra's presence, and this is on purpose. she is determined to make sure they have the most beautiful wedding and will spare not a single cent.

• it's a gigantic ceremony. like, gigantic. every single woman scarlet is frenemies with down in weyfield is invited so they can see how beautiful her daughter and daughter-in-law are (and how elaborate the wedding is).

• ell asks lyra a minimum of 25 times the day before if she just wants to elope? doesn't that seem better? wouldn't she just....rather.....elope? alas, they go through with the ceremony (which is lovely) and scarlet is completed toasted for the ENTIRE duration.

• i think i'd actually like to put ell in a suit. maybe a blush-pink suit. hair up in a pony. i imagine lyra would want something a bit more elaborate than her usual garb BUT still well within her usual taste!

🗡️ TWO AND A HALF VAMPIRES: lavinia x astraia x serana

• there's no initial ceremony. it's just determined one day by astraia that both serana and liv are her wives. this goes unmentioned for an extremely long time in which she does not run this by liv NOR serana, because she never introduces herself or them to people except on a rare occasion.

• when they DO realize that astraia has been introducing them as her wives, they decide that they have to do SOMETHING. there has to be SOME kind of ceremony. astraia hates this. bureaucracy? pomp and circumstance? it's not her Style(TM)

• however, she does not put up a fuss when serana and liv decide to get wedding bands made and their "ceremony" is taking a fortnight off of doing jobs. okay, maybe she fusses a little bit. but straia is secretly pleased with the idea of picking out bands for her girls, and spends hours agonizing over the designs.

• in the week that they spend not doing jobs, they spend most of it in the volos family estate in solitude. in fact, astraia probably looks like she's not enjoying herself at all, until she cracks a smile one (1) time in the morning when she gets to wake up with her smoking hot wives.

• astraia offers to let them legally change their last name to volos if they want. she does not ask her parents if this is alright. in fact, she doesn't tell them anything! at all! there is a pile of letters from them sitting unanswered. she uses them as kindling to light the fire when she painstakingly prepares a Wedding Breakfast for her girls 💘

#aak games #otp: hmwyc #otp: two and a half vampires #THANK U STELLA THIS WAS FUN

[consumedkings-archive]

you know i’m hitting you (😐) with hmwyc au

WHEEZING THANK YOU FOR THAT PUN STELLA gonna try and find some of these that maybe we haven't discussed but u know i'm gonna revisit age-old topics

✤ lyra makes the executive decision to move elliot into the ranch without telling john. one day he just wakes up and they're: there. the herd of raccoons is already present.

✤ elliot tries very hard to not bring canned wine into the house so as not to offend lyra's sensibilities

✤ despite completely ignoring the problem at hand (see: lyra, and john, and lyra and john together, and living in the same space as lyra and john instead of being run over and ending her suffering as intended) elliot is a hands-on roommate. very hands on. mouth on, too. if you're gonna sin might as well go all in am i right ladies

✤ john isn't really sure when his wife moved the feral deputy in but he has just been going along with it hoping one day someone will explain what the fuck is happening. also WHERE ARE ALL OF THESE WILD ANIMALS COMING FROM

john: "ah, yes. me, my wife, and my wife's emotional support feral officer of the law"

✤ elliot still goes out and lays in the middle of the road to drink sometimes. usually with shaggy, and usually just for old times' sake

✤ elliot, on the phone with her mother: "yes, i moved in. no, it's--he's her husband, mom, i didn't marry him--look, do you want to just talk to her?"

#otp: hmwyc #i made a meme for you stella #ask games #ash.txt

[consumedkings-archive]

♫ + honeyseed, ♫ + x: hmwyc & ♫ + brotp: hmywc xx

stella....stella what have u done to bring my crack music tastes out.....

🎶 for honeyseed: you won’t be mine by matchbox twenty

take yourself out to the curb / sit and wait / a fool for life / it's almost like a disease / i know soon you will be / over the lies, you'll be strong / you'll be rich in love and you will carry on / but no - oh no / no you won't be mine

🎶 for otp: hit me with your car: animals by maroon 5

so if i run it's not enough / you're still in my head forever stuck / so you can do what you wanna do / i love your lies i'll eat 'em up / but don't deny the animal / that comes alive when i'm inside you

🎶 for the brotp: hit me with your car: WDIDLN? by bo burnham

i’m not putting the lyrics here you have to listen

#faithchel #ask games #: |||||| #otp: death keep off; i am your enemy #otp: hit me with your car #brotp: hit me with your car #shaggy and ell really out here #bonding