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sandersstudies · 3 months

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Other people have said it more eloquently than me, but my theory is that Hobbits don’t actually age “slower” than humans, they just are generally in excellent health and that leads to their culture shifting milestone years to be later than humans.

“Old Took himself only lived to be 130” would suggest that this is a very impressive old age for hobbits. Bilbo, partially with the help of the ring, lives to 131 before sailing west. Otho Sackville-Baggins dies of old age at 102. 102 is an impressive age for a human to live to, but far from unheard of, and current predictions suggest we will see a human live to be 130 within this century.

Hobbits are considered adults at age 33. Human age of majority varies worldwide (in North America, even by state/province/etc.) from <15-22 based on what legal privileges it offers, but 18 and 21 are generally good milestones. I got curious about whether high age of majority correlated with longer lifespan and I found little correlation with the ages of 18 and 21 because they are so common and cover a wide array of local average lifespans, but if you eliminate those two and look at counties where age of majority is 15, 16, 17, 19, and 20, there’s a direct correlation between age of majority and lifespan.

Worldwide, life expectancy is 72.27. Let’s say hobbit life expectancy is 100 (if there’s canon evidence to suggest this is low or high, let me know). 100/72.27=~1.38

18x1.38=24.84

21x1.38=28.98.

If we can round that to 29, we are already inching toward that Hobbit coming of age 33. Their lifestyle and relative societal safety can probably account for the final four years, as well as Hobbit appreciation for aesthetic numbers (33 looks better than 32 and 34).

50 is considered the beginning of Hobbit middle-age, and if you’re familiar with healthy, hardy people in their fifties, this is actually pretty reasonable. My dad is 52 and still plays hockey and bartends in a demanding restaurant. I think he would be about as (physically) up to a journey to Mordor as Frodo is at age 50.

Tolkien spoke very little about Hobbit marriage customs, but assuming they are fertile creatures, 33 leaves more than enough time to raise children, even using the human average age of menopause at 51 (and think how this compares to Hobbit middle-age).

I’m no expert, I just looked at a lot of Wikipedia pages, but I’m vastly in favor of the idea that Pippin isn’t “the equivalent of a human teenager” in terms of something biological, but in terms of something cultural. In a society with long lifespans and relative safety from war, famine, and other dangers, it’s totally reasonable that 20-somethings are allowed to hold onto childhood/adolescence a little longer than in a society where war and danger forces children to mature and work at a younger age.

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silmarillion-ways-to-die · 5 months

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#Tolkien Mystery Movie #murder mystery #tolkien #lord of the rings #lotr #fantasy #jrr tolkien #the hobbit #silmarillion

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strawwritesfic · 1 year

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Bilbo Baggins x Female!Hobbit!Reader: Save

Summary: The beginning of your own story might be worth writing down someday as well.

Rating/Tags: All (Post-Hobbit; pre-Fellowship of the Ring; The Green Dragon; Drinking; Alcohol; Server!Reader; family problems; inheritance problems; meet cute)

Challenge: “160 Collective Drabbles” challenge by BobaPop on Lunaescence Archives.

Tag List: @imaginesfire

Save

Any Hobbit worth their salt could recite upon command any number of stories about far-off lands and daring adventures. Children might shudder in their beds thinking of shadowy forests filled with creeping spiders; even adults could blanch over news of wolves spotted near Buckland. But that was all such tales were in the end: Distant news and exciting fiction, meant to entertain and never to touch its listeners. Nothing could ever really involve the Shire. The people of Hobbiton were free to continue their vicarious quests–until one day such a quest did involve the Shire.

“I already told you, Otho, I don’t have a mountain of gold hidden away to give to you. I’m certain that if I did, there would be nothing left after I was forced to buy back my home and all my possessions.”

You looked up from your work behind the counter to see one Bilbo Baggins sitting at a table across the room. He had a mug of ale clutched in one hand and a look of polite distaste on his face.

Upon recognizing his drinking companions, you couldn’t say you blamed him for looking like that. Otho and Lobelia Sackville-Baggins were not your favorite customers when they were minding their own business. Throw in harassing other patrons, and you couldn’t help but shoot them an ugly look of your own behind their backs.

Normally, you would have tried to throw them out. Now that you were in serious competition with your younger brother over the inheritance of the inn, however, you decided it would be better not to make a scene. "A patron is a patron, so long as they’ve got gold to spend," as your father had reminded you since you’d started working at the Green Dragon in your tweens. Apparently your brother had no trouble remembering this, though you suspected his good memory was because he didn’t spend much of his time on the clock doing any work, not because he lacked any hint of your admirable temper.

��[Name], quit lollygagging. Table Eight wanted supper fifteen minutes ago,” your father called over the usual evening hubbub.

His watchful eye prevented you from eavesdropping further on Bilbo and his guests, so you flashed your haggard father a grin, picked up a waiting tray of food, and dove back into the throng.

The Green Dragon had been owned by your family since it had been built several generations ago. Sometimes you got the feeling your father would have gladly given up five square meals a day to be rid of the responsibility of running the place. Not so you. Working at the inn made you come alive more than any other place in the whole of the Shire. You had been hanging around it since you were old enough to follow your father to work as a youth and working there since you were bold enough to convince him to give you a job. By necessity, you knew every nook and cranny, every regular’s name, and every story ever told by the grand stone fireplace.

Except, that was, for Bilbo’s story. Even knowing that the mere sight of Otho and Lobelia would anger you, you sneaked another peek over at their table as you set the food down on another surrounded by ravenous tweens. Sure enough, the trio was still there. Bilbo’s polite façade appeared to be fading quickly as he listened to the two of them rant.

“[Name],” whined one of the tween boys, “you’re in the way.”

You hastily removed your hand before any of them could mistake it for part of their meal. Your constantly-hungry youth wasn’t so far behind you that you had forgotten what it felt like.

“Make sure to pay before you leave this time. Don’t want me to have to talk to your parents again, do you?” you asked.

None of them replied.

With a deep breath and a roll of your eyes, you turned away. Before you lay a buzzing dining hall. Hobbits laughed and ate and drank in seemingly every inch of the building. It warmed your heart to see so many happy people enjoying your family’s business. All except for Bilbo, of course, who had dismissed faking politeness entirely and now stared grumpily into the space about his relatives’ heads as they prattled on about whatever it was they had a bone to pick about that night.

Before you could even attempt to interrupt the conversation, your father caught your eye and motioned impatiently at the growing assortment of food and drink waiting to be delivered. You picked your way toward him, progress hindered by the many customers that stopped you to say hello. The conversation at Bilbo’s table had grown quite lively by the time you arrived at the bar to pick up another order.

Truth be told, Bilbo’s fascinating disappearance and reappearance were not the only things about him that kept you looking at him. Neither were his rumored riches; you planned to take over the Dragon and raise your own small fortune, after all. Bilbo had, in fact, always interested you. He had had his own schedule before he’d left the Shire, coming in once a week to drink and listen to the same old stories you did day after day. Always polite, that Bilbo, if admittedly not forcibly friendly like most of the others. You had never had to throw him out for poor behavior, at any rate.

That night was the first night he’d been back to the inn after all his time away. You’d been dying to talk to him since the minute you saw him walk through the door. Between your job and the Sackville-Bagginses, you hadn’t had a chance.

Then an idea occurred to you–a wonderful, terrible, perfect idea. Before any of your fellow workers could guess that you were up to something, you filled your tray with the waiting glasses of ale. Your plan might not have had the best timing, considering the dinner rush and how flustered your father had already become, but he would have to do without you. You were only one Hobbit, and if your father truly believed passing the Green Dragon onto your brother (who was, as usual, suspiciously absent that evening), then what good was your working your fingers to the bone to please customers?

You turned and marched purposely toward the table at which Bilbo, Lobelia, and Otho sat. As you drew nearer, you could understand why Bilbo looked as pained as he did.

“As far as I’m concerned, you forfeited your right to Bag End when you left without saying a word and without electing an heir. The hole is ours,” Otho was saying.

“Is it,” said Bilbo.

Lobelia gave him a very nasty, almost un-hobbotish sneer. “You clearly aren’t right in the head anymore. Dragons? Dwarves? Why don’t you just admit you got into some messy business with that Gandalf fellow and step aside for Otho to be head of the family?”

“Difficult to do when I’m not at all mad, my dear Lobelia. For why should you think I had gold to spare if I never had my grand adventure?”

“You’re a fool,” she said, “a fool and perhaps even a criminal. We could go over your head, Bilbo. Mark my words.”

“Consider them marked. Now if you’ll excuse me…”

“We aren’t done here,” Otho growled, getting up to follow Bilbo away from the table.

Oh, yes you are, you thought.

Just as Otho reached over to pull Bilbo back into his seat, you arrived along with half the dining hall’s drinks. Otho standing up actually provided you with the perfect opportunity. All you had to do was angle your feet just right, and–

Lobelia’s scream told you that you had succeeded. Your staged trip and fall managed to tip all the ale on your tray so that it spilled over the Sackville-Baggginses heads. There they sat, dripping in abject shock, as Bilbo stood staring on in astonishment.

“Oh no!” you squealed dramatically. “Did I do that? I’m ever so sorry. I’m such a klutz!”

With a lurch toward Lobelia, you made to press a towel to her sopping hair. She flinched away before turning the full brunt of her wrath on you.

“You-You-You,” she said. Apparently, your act had rendered her unable to form complete sentences.

This unforeseen bonus didn’t last long; before you could so much as attempt to offer a fake apology, Otho got in your face: “I’ll have your job for this, girl,” he said, and any desire to apologize, falsely or otherwise, vanished.

You hooked a thumb over your shoulder toward where you’d last seen your father running around like a chicken with his head cut off. “Boss is that way.”

The two left without more than several glares in your direction. You watched only long enough to see your father shoot you a knowing, aggrieved sort of look when the Sackville-Bagginses approached him.

Shrugging, you turned away. Well, it was difficult to feel sorry for him. If he really wanted a supper rush without incident, he really ought to have forced your brother to show up for his shifts every once and awhile, especially if you were expected to give up your inheritance without a fight.

All the same, you knew better than to leave a mess behind. You began to pick up the (thankfully unbroken) glasses littering the table and were almost finished by the time Bilbo spoke:

“Thank you.”

You had assumed he had taken the opportunity to escape your inn entirely, actually. His voice surprised you, and even more so that he was standing exactly where you’d left him.

“You don’t need to thank me for being clumsy,” you answered, then smiled mischievously at his blank expression. “It looked like you could use a rescue. Those two shouldn’t bother you again tonight.”

“Thank you,” he said with more feeling.

“It’s your first time back since your adventure. Wouldn’t want you spooked off forever.”

Much to your confusion, Bilbo hesitated before he replied. His eyes slid toward the door and back to you, and then he took a wide step backward. “Right,” he said. “All the same, I think I had better get going.”

As you looked on, he began to shuffle toward the front door. You realized with a jolt exactly what he thought: Bilbo believed you, too, were after his gold. He didn’t exactly look less nervous when you followed after him either.

“That’s a shame,” you said. “I really was hoping to hear your story.”

That got him to pause. “You…were?”

“Sure. Dwarves and dragons and spiders and elves. Sounds better than half of the stories the rest of them have been telling all week. I'm getting a little tired of the time the creek froze over and let the wolves in, personally. ”

“Mine is a rather exciting tale,” Bilbo confessed, then seemed to decide you weren’t so frightening that he couldn’t size you up. “And you are?”

“[Name]. My dad owns the place.”

At that, a look of slight disappointment crossed his face. You didn’t understand it, not until he went on: “Then I suppose you wouldn’t be able to join me at my hole for a cup of coffee and a chat? I find myself wanting a quieter atmosphere, but I could do with some company still.”

The words no, not tonight were right on your lips. You couldn’t just abandon the inn, or your father for that matter.

But on second thought, why couldn’t you? Really, your brother ought to have been there by now to take over, and there were other servers, too, picking their slow ways from table to table. Besides, when was the last time you’d been given time off, or even a break for that matter?

“You know what?” you said. “I’d love to.”

“Delightful!” cried Bilbo, and he held out his arm.

It took you less than half a second to place your tray on top of one of the other server’s trays as she passed by. She gave you a wild-eyed, panicked looked, but you did not explain.

You’d hear all about your lack of responsibility in the morning once your father discovered you had slipped away. For the time being, you were just like any other Hobbit. Who cared about work, the inheritance, or the inn when there was such a fine story to hear and such a fine Hobbit to tell it? Even as you thought about the lecture you were in for, you couldn't find yourself regretting your decision.

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frodo-with-glasses · 1 year

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Weekly Poll, Part Two:

*specifically a dude who is alive and involved during the events of LotR; and during or prior to that time has/had biological progeny, even if said progeny is dead before the story starts; adoptive fathers, sadly, are currently not applicable

#poll time!#lord of the rings #lotr #celeborn #gamling #gloin #thranduil #various unremarkable hobbits #all the dudes here have various reasons for getting into the 'honorable mentions' penalty box #including 'limited opportunities to demonstrate dadliness' or 'kid is dead' or 'straight up wasn't in the story'#but they're still dads so it counts

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ao3feed-angbang · 10 months

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Mad Baggins' Faerie Husband

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/uqnzNrd

by MidnightNinja27

AU: Mairon is defeated and sentenced to probation in the Shire by the Valar

It's a fitting punishment for a monster. To want something so much -to hold it in your arms- and know beyond a doubt you will never deserve it.

After being defeated by the White Council at Dol Guldur, Mairon is taken back to Valinor and sentenced to an Age-long probation in the Shire. Bilbo, who has found the One Ring, is chosen to be the maia’s keeper and the ring the leash keeping him there.

Words: 1195, Chapters: 1/10, Language: English

Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: M/M, Multi

Characters: Bilbo Baggins, Sauron | Mairon, Gandalf | Mithrandir, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, Otho Sackville-Baggins, Lotho Sackville-Baggins, Belba Baggins, Primula Brandybuck, Drogo Baggins, Frodo Baggins, Merry Brandybuck, Pippin Took, Sam Gamgee, Hamfast Gamgee, Bell Goodchild, Morgoth Bauglir | Melkor, Manwë Súlimo, Aulë | Mahal, Saruman | Curunír, Galadriel | Artanis, Elrond Peredhel, Rose Cotton

Additional Tags: Past Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Past Celebrimbor | Telperinquar/Sauron | Mairon - Freeform, Requited Unrequited Love, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, Alternate Universe - Sauron Gets the One Ring, It does not go to plan, Past toxic but not quite abusive relationship, im talking about angbang, Sauron Redemption, Redeemed Sauron | Mairon, Morgoth Bauglir | Melkor Has ADHD, Morgoth Bauglir | Melkor Has a Limp, Morgoth Redemption, kind of, Retirement, ReShirement, Happy Ending, I WANT AN AU WHERE EVERYTHING GOES RIGHT DAMNIT, Past Addiction, Silmarils, Brotherly Bonding, Melkor will not show up until halfwayish

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/uqnzNrd

#angbang #Mairon #Melkor #ao3feed

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ao3feed-thehobbit · 9 months

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Act of Courage

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/vPUaYo0

by Cuptivate

When Bilbo met the man of her dreams, she had no idea who he was. He, in turn didn’t seem to be overly interested in who she was. They shared a bubble of happiness in that apartment of his, which Bilbo was sure was not really where he lived. But bubbles burst, and usually in the most heartbreaking way.

Words: 9168, Chapters: 2/3, Language: English

Fandoms: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Bilbo Baggins, Dwalin, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, Lotho Sackville-Baggins, Otho Sackville-Baggins, Balin (Tolkien), Nori, Ori - Character, Bard

Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Dwalin, Dwalin/fem. Bilbo Baggins

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Modern AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Flirting, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt and comfort, Family Feels, Protective Dwalin, Happy Ending

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/vPUaYo0

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #the hobbit

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ao3feed-tolkien · 9 months

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Act of Courage

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/vFNlgB6

by Cuptivate

Words: 3761, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M

Characters: Bilbo Baggins, Dwalin, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, Lotho Sackville-Baggins, Otho Sackville-Baggins, Balin (Tolkien), Nori, Ori - Character, Bard

Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Dwalin, Dwalin/fem. Bilbo Baggins

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/vFNlgB6

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #Tolkien #JRR Tolkien #Tolkien works #ao3 #fan fiction

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blueoncemoon · 1 year

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Lobelia Sackville-Baggins is determined to exploit her son for political gain, but her methods prove somewhat peculiar. Enlisting the aid of her mother-in-law, Lobelia sets about crafting Lotho into a premier musician of the Shire — to the detriment of his youth and independence. Liberation for the pitiable lad comes from a most unexpected quarter.

Read Where I Live on AO3

Rating: G Archive warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Word Count: 8,376 Chapters: 3/3

Category: Gen Relationships: Lobelia & Lotho, Lobelia & Camellia, Lotho & Odovacar, Lotho & Vigo Additional Caracters: Bilbo, Otho, Hugo, Fredegar, Odo, Evgeny Kissin, Thomas Quasthoff Tags: baby's first request, classical music crossover, alternative universe, good guy Lotho, post-Hobbit, pre-LotR, Evgeny Kis神

Artwork: Grasmere From The Rydal Road, by Francis Towne, 1786

#lord of the rings #lotr #fanfic #fanfiction #lobelia sackville baggins #lotho sackville-baggins #classical music #crossover #baby's first request #my fic

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tenth-sentence · 1 year

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Besides, their cousin, Bilbo, had been specializing in food for many years and his table had a high reputation.

"The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" - J.R.R. Tolkien

#book quote #lotr #lord of the rings #jrr tolkien #tfotr #the fellowship of the ring #bilbo #otho sackville baggins #lobelia sackville baggins #cousins #hobbits #food

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influencerpippin · 3 years

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cannot believe the sackville-bagginses named their child their shipname

#lobelia sackville baggins #otho sackville baggins #lotho sackville baggins #tolkien #jrr tolkien #jirt #lord of the rings #hobbitses #jirtposting #thats not a tag lol the whole blog is jirtposting

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gnarlystarships · 2 years

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I have been trying to figure out how old the hobbits are in the tolkien stories because its sort of confusing. I’ve concluded that hobbits age in a different way than humans do; as in their adolescence lasts longer. Insane tangent below the cut.

So first of all Hobbits live longer than humans. Their average lifespan is apparently about 100 years. Otho Sackville-Baggins is described as dying at the ripe old age of 102. The other hobbits in the shire are very surprised that Bilbo lives and is doing well at 111. Its hard to say if 100 is the peak of hobbit lifespan, or if thats just what the lifespan is like in that era for them. Like today its not so unusal for a human person to live to 100 but a few centuries ago that would have been shocking. Given the somewhat medieval setting of The Lord of the Rings I assume that 100 hobbit years probably equates to something like 80 human years. (King Theoden is described as pretty old, and hes only 71.)

The other big point of reference we have is that hobbits’ “coming of age” is at age 33. Its hard to say for sure what that age would be in relation to a human. Most likely it would be 18, but it could reasonably be anything up to like 25.

So here’s the problem. If 33 hobbit years = 18 human years, then 100 hobbit years = only 54 human years! Thats definitely not right. No one dies at the ripe old age of ~55. Not if King Theoden is still fighting in battle in his 70s. If 33 hobbit years = 25 human years, then 100 hobbit years = 75 human years. This is closer, and feasible but I would still say it doesn’t feel quite right. The results seem a little late for “coming of age” and a little early for “ripe old age.”

On a brief change of subject but still related, I once tried to calculate human ages to cat ages because I didn’t agree with other people’s calculations I found online. I ended up stumped when I realize its hard to compare the two because cats have an extremely short “childhood” compared to humans. Within weeks they can walk within a year they’re practically adults. and then they can go on to live 15+ more adult years after that. You can’t compare that to a human, who spends a significant portion of their lives as an adolescent.

So thinking back to that cat incident, I realized that perhaps so is the case for hobbits; but this time, humans are the cats. I think that humans turn into adults faster than hobbits turn into adults.

So I think that up to age 33, hobbits age pretty slowly. Once again the crux of the issue is that we don’t know what “coming of age” means, but at least in human culture that usually doesn’t mean actual physical adulthood. It means you’re transitioning out of childhood. So I think its really gotta be like 17-21. I think hobbits must hit that “real” adulthood in their mid-to-late thirties. Sort of like how our brains are supposed to settle at around 25. After that, I think they age relatively closely to humans, about a decade or so behind.

In The Lord of the Rings: Pippin is 29. He is four years away from “coming of age.” He is described as quite childish. He is mistaken as a human child by a man, and I think his face is also quite childish beside his stature. I think in human years he must be something like 16 or 17. Maybe even younger, but I do feel that he is a teenager and not much older than that. Merry is 37. He’s still pretty young, only four years past the coming of age. But he is notably more mature than his younger cousin. I think he’s probably something like 25. Possibly up to 27 or so. Sam is 39. Only a little older than Merry. He’s been an employed adult for awhile, and acts far less youthful than the younger two. I think he’s something like 27-31. Frodo is 50. He’s been an adult for quite awhile. While the possession of the ring may account for some of it, he’s much more serious that his younger cousins and Sam. Even Bilbo seemed about as grown and settled and serious at the beginning of The Hobbit. At one point Sam is watching Frodo sleep and describes seeing the beginning of wrinkles and aging on him. At the very youngest, I think Frodo must be in human years in his late thirties. But I think its more likely that he is in his forties. After all, in a lifespan of 100 years 50 is literally middle aged. I think Bilbo at 111 is probably something like being in his 90s--the main thing people were surprised about is that he hardly looked old, not necessarily that it was extremely unusual to be that old. and when he is 130 that must be even old for us. He must have lived into his 110′s by then at least.

In the movies all four hobbits of the fellowship look like they’re about the same age. But I think it sort of changes the story to understand the differences in stages of life that they are at, and its hard to understand that by their literal ages alone so that’s why I’ve spent so much time thinking about that. Pippin’s actions are so erratic and ridiculous because he is literally a child. Frodo received the ring on his 33rd birthday, though he didn’t really carry it until his 50th, and I’m sure that wore on him and changed him as he grew from a young adult into an adult. And he’s not really young when he agrees to go on this grueling journey, but goes nevertheless. And I feel that there could be some connection drawn between Frodo being middle aged as he saves middle earth lol.

#i have not ranted like this in awhile #lord of the rings #the hobbit #middle earth #tolkien #lotr #ograt

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sunnyrosewritesstuff · 3 years

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2. About Bilbo from the POV of...Lobelia

So this one is from the POV of a family member, and while I had many, many options I thought Lobelia would be fun. I plan on hitting all before I’m done. Don’t forget if there’s someone you want to see, send me an ask! Also I’m linking them all back to the masterlist here.

***

Despite what many of her fellow hobbits thought, Lobelia Bracegirdle (recently Sackville-Baggins), did not hate Bilbo Baggins. She just thought he was vastly undeserving of the life he lived.

Lobelia was six the first time she met Bilbo. It had been the solstice festival, and as the sun dipped below the horizon, her mother started leading the way back up the lane towards their smial. Bilbo and his cousins, Lobelia would later learn, were heavily drunk as they came tripping up the path behind them cackling like crows.

“For you, Mrs. Bracegirdle.” Bilbo slurred, handing off the white clover (meaning: think of me) in his hand. “And for you, Little Miss. Please enjoy your evening.”

With a snicker and the back slaps and hushed whispers and giggles of his friends, the tween hobbits stumbled off into the night. It would be years later before Lobelia truly learned the arrogance of their gift, but the impression her mother left as she fumed after them tipped Lobelia off to the fact that they had somehow been insulted.

“That hobbit!” Priscilla Bracegirdle swore. “Exactly what happens when you let Took blood taint a good family like the Baggins.”

Two impressions stayed with Lobelia at that point. The Baggins name was worthy, and Bilbo Baggins was not. It was many years after that day, well after Bilbo’s parents died, that her opinion of him fully formed. In her tweens, she was very interested in the gossip of Hobbiton. Especially over who was courting who. So when Maybelle Burrows came running from the Hill in tears, Lobelia had to know what happened. The distraught hobbit was being comforted by her friends as Lobelia peeked around the tree to listen in better.

“He turned me down!” Maybelle sobbed. “He didn’t even give me a chance to present my flowers before he slammed the door!”

“That Bilbo Baggins!” Dorlina Proudfoot gasped. “Was he really that rude?”

“I mean, he let me finish my tea, but who does that?! Who cuts someone off just like that?”

“I thought you didn’t even really like him like that.” Alva Goodbody tried to soothe.

“It doesn’t matter!” Maybelle snapped. “That...that...bachelor is beyond the help of any good lady hobbit. And if that’s how he wants to treat me, good riddance!”

The others, including Lobelia, gasped as the implication. She couldn’t even imagine it. Surely, Bilbo Baggins was not selfish enough to keep that large smial all to himself. If only Bungo and Belladonna Baggins lived! They would not approve of his life choices. What parent would? She knew not what his reasons were for turning Maybelle Burrows down, but there had to be a reason. She would not accept anything less.

Yet, Bilbo Baggins continued to live alone in his hilltop paradise, and Lobelia only found herself getting more bitter at his situation with age. He was arrogant. He was selfish, and there was talk of him starting to become unsocial. Certainly, he performed all of the duties of a true gentlehobbit, but it was clear that his heart was not in it. So when word got out that he went screaming down the hill about an adventure of all things, well Lobelia was certain that was the last they would ever see of Bilbo Baggins. It was for the best.

She was newly wed, finally getting the prestige of the Baggins name herself, and she and Otho were considering faunts. It just made sense that Bag End should go to someone who would appreciate it properly. Unlike a certain bachelor she knew. She had waited a proper, respectable amount of time before she started to inquire into things. It had been months! What if Bilbo Baggins never comes back? What if he’s dead, and the smial just sits there unused? How dreadful! What an absolute waste!

Her fellow hobbits did not disappoint as they passed along the same doubts by word of mouth all the way to the Mayor. A public announcement was made a few weeks later. If Bilbo Baggins did not return within a year, his property and belongings would be auctioned off to his fellow kinsmen who would actually put it to good use. Lobelia was seen with a smug smile for weeks after. Lobelia Sackville-Baggins was not cruel enough to wish her new cousin dead by any means. However, she did hope the hobbit got exactly what he deserved, which was living his life anywhere but Bag End.

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