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#other than that my day’s been super
marblerose-rue · 1 year
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it's this way! / squirrelpaw and leafpaw
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priceofreedom · 2 months
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funny how everyone seemed to adore Zack until he started having more screentime...
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thedreadvampy · 4 months
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The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.
It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.
#red said#i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life#my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me#like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy.#anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is.#but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was#like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it#i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen.#I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles#and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences#and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma#obviously microtraumas build up but still.#then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma#is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING#told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip#and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain#until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position#and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific#and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with#like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex#out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage?#and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh#so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea#that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting.#like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.
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esleep · 2 months
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the whole "cats choose their owners" thing is really funny to me because ivy very much did NOT choose me. she was a slightly dim-witted and very rambunctious feral kitten, and that combination led to her getting herself stuck inside an old chipmunk nest halfway down the steep bank of the creek by my parents' house. from there she proceeded to scream her head off until both my mom and i came out to see what on earth was making all that racket, then we excavated her out of that hole like a sad little potato. she was grateful for the rescue, but definitely NOT grateful for the ensuing flea baths and conversion to indoor cat life at my apartment, which she reminds me of regularly. ivy i'm sorry for saving you from an early death due to predation/disease/cars, but can you stop biting me every day of my life please
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tj-crochets · 3 months
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Hey y'all, weird question time again, this time for people without POTS or other tachycardia-causing health issues. I know my heart rate is higher than it should be a lot of the time, but I can't find comparison data for not-tachycardia peoples' heart rates at any point except resting and like target rate when exercising, so my questions are these: 1. What's your heart rate when you stand up? 2. Does your heart rate go up noticeably when you are sick? There's presumably a whole spectrum of non-tachycardia heart rates at points between resting and high intensity exercise, but I have not been able to find any comparison points in between those extremes at all
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skitskatdacat63 · 10 months
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if u’re still doing these… top 5 most insane martian moments.
Sry for the late response, I really had to think on it! But these have been pretty fun to do so thank you!! <3
1. The entirety of Monaco 2010
Any Monaco celebration has a special place in my heart as you probably well know! But just Monaco 2010 as an entirety is insane to me, to name a few: the matching Porsches...their parc ferme hug...Seb trying and failing to pull Mark into the pool...them jumping into the harbor together and Seb having to pull Mark up onto the dock, MONACO REALLY GAVE US SO MUCH 🤧 but also this race being the calm before the storm, like seeing them be all cute with each other but then knowing how the season ends and how things continue to proceed after that
2. Their Singapore 2008 date
Always holds a special place on my heart. Just that we have so many pictures and even footage(!!!) of their PR mandated date in a time where this kind of thing wasn't really common yet. The caption of the YouTube vid "Mark Webber and Sebastian Vettel share an evening in Singapore" 😵‍💫 and I also think often about this comment on that vid calling Seb a "kleine Mädchen." I just think it's very cute. Giggly STR Seb and older gruff RBR Mark, not yet affected by teammate tensions
3. Japan 2007
I think its always very interesting the foreshadowing you can read into while watching older races. I love that Martian were always on an inevitable collision course. Like imagine being Mark and that rookie who crashed into the back of you then goes to win a race before you and then becomes your teammate and then becomes wdc. That they were on this collision course before they even became teammates and Seb had barely been in the sport yet. And LIKE that quote from Mark about Seb about "kids with no experience" and Seb crying in his garage, crazy.
4. Turkey 2010
I have such a fondness for "WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING HERE!? WHAT A STUPID ACTION! I'M GOING HOME! FUCK YOU!"(to the point where my friends who know nothing about f1 know about that quote by proxy bcs I quote it so much") I think it's interesting how much Martian's conflicts revolve around team orders and disobeying radios. It's funny bcs in Turkey 2009, a very similar situation to both Turkey 2010 and Malaysia 2013 happens, them telling Seb to stay behind Mark bcs of whatever reasons. And in 2009, Seb is clearly 🫤 about it but obeys but then goes on to try to overtake Mark in 2010 and fails, but then succeeds in 2013, very interesting to see how that dynamic evolves and grows more toxic! But by far the best part about Turkey 2010 is them having to take that "Us in our Get-Along T-Shirt" pic 😭 it's so funny and I wish they'd do press releases like this nowadays
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5. That Monaco 2021 interview where Mark interjects about knowing the meaning behind the coins in Seb's race boots
It's just very sweet to me. There's some post about it on here that explains how meaningful it is, but I don't feel like searching for it, so I'm kinda just paraphrasing that. But like imagine them having a conversation where Seb explains it to Mark and the meaning behind it, and like probably a decade later, Mark still remembers it in perfect detail, enough to remember about the specificities about which coin goes in which boot and why.
Obligatory mentions: Malaysia 2013 of course(but I wanted to mention others, but Multi-21 is a given when considering crazy Martian moments), Australia 2016 podium, Mark's various Instagram forays during Seb's retirement, that one interview where Mark grabs Seb from behind while Love Will Tear Us Apart plays, when Seb sat on Mark's shoulders, anything of them from Abu Dhabi 2022, etc etc
#okay this post is a lot longer than i thought itd be#i had to hold myself back from adding pictures to everything i just tried to put a lot of links instead!#i almost finished making this and then tumblr glitched and i thought it deleted all of it#but it just posted it so i privated it but hopefully it will still show up to people!#this was fun to make bcs i was brought back to my early days of learning their lore(not that im ever finished tbh)#also if you hadnt guessed my favorite season is 2010(cough cough heard you're a player)#but intense teammate rivalries like theirs is so interesting#youre fighting for the wdc and wcc so you're forced to constantly be fighting for yourself but still have to consider the team as a whole#and as I mentioned i love the progression of Martian#guy who crashed into you and ruined your race in 2007 then wins a race before you for your JUNIOR team#then he becomes your teammate and scores the first win for YOUR team that youve already been in for 2 seasons#and then hes your main rival in the next season and he wins the wdc at the last race before you#and then you have to watch him win the next 3 WDCs and meanwhile theres so many interteam tension#and then you retire and you become very fond for each other and have very cute interviews until his very retirement#OKAY SORRY THAT WAS SO MUCH LMAO#ive been so sebson brained lately so its fun to think about martian!!!#also dru if you see this tysm your blog was super helpful for finding stuff from specific events hehehe#martian#sebmark#formula 1#catie.asks.
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j-ellyfish · 6 months
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He's so pretty in this pic, I love the expression - or lack thereof. Like, his expression is almost neutral, but then he also got the slight frown in his eyebrows, the very subtle pout and he's breaking eye contact so it's like he's lightly bothered by the situation but you can't tell in which way, if he's actually hiding annoyance, embarrassment or what else. Or if there's just something on his mind he's trying to ignore but cannot. I love these kinds of expressions so much.
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tzarina-alexandra · 7 months
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Adulthood achievement unlocked: first heartbreak
#the guy (v.)#i learned from his friend that he hooked up with some girl he met then literally the night before he left and#ok i should've expected this because ofc like most ppl dont have like these Christian morals etc#but on the other hand i feel super betrayed cause.... the night before he seemed concerned that we wont be able to say goodbye properly#and the morning we said goodbye he seemed to appreciate my gift (a magnet etc) and we hugged long etc#and im like ok man you couldve at least told me you dont like me 1. to my face#and 2. in due time. not letting me imagine otherwise#like sorry but i think im justified to feel wronged here!!!#i suppose he is in a way different than i imagined. im genuinely disappointed to see him take such a path in life like#wake up dude. one day youll have to wake up.#im mad at him like for real. i dont wanna hate him tho. i knew from the start that it wouldve been bad to be together anyway#so im glad were not. even if im heartbroken now. ill forgive him. but probably dont wanna meet him in the next few years.#it would be too awkward#i hope he at least acknowledges. not now but one day. that i cared for him in a genuine way like. not thinking about sex or other BS#and appreciating the less superficial things about him. and the sincere parts not the ironic ones#cause he only seems to be popular with others when hes ironic and superficial and self deprecating#i wish one day he could be sincere and have ppl appreciate him for who he is not some mask.#i wish he could be happy not just in a good mood because its a party or whatever. like truly happy#my man needs Jesus thats for sure. not a girlfriend or to be popular or whatever else#i wish he would wake up one day and realise all this. and ofc im mad at him but like. if he has to find himself a girl at least#have that be a long term commitment and with somebody who actually cares like come on. have some self respect dude cause#youre made in the image of God. and have respect for others too cause they too are made in the image of God and#we all are worth more than just superficial relationships and masks and lies.#i try not to have a bad attitude about it. i do wish him the best tho but with the inherent understanding that#what he has going on for him right now is far far far far far from the best#as a first step i hope that he at least stops being self destructive. a minimum care of ones body thats all#goodbye maybe forever. if i see you years later id hope to see you a changed man#if not and if well never meet again i hope to at least see you in heaven. at least up there all relationships can be mended.#and were all without our flaws. and without resentment.#you hurt me but i really did care about you with an innocent heart. maybe i was even in love. but goodbye now. may God keep you
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[ID: An edited page from Trigun Volume 10 Chapter 7, overlaid with lyrics from "Death Valley" by Fall Out Boy. The lyrics are from Genius and highlighted in russet orange. The view looks up on confetti fluttering down from the sky, and Wolfwood looks stunned before opening his mouth to scream, a tear rolling down his face. Overlaid is the line "But don't take love / off the table yet." End ID]
Posting this alt page of my vol10 web weaving separately because I'm still really fond of it! Forever guilt and unending penance and blood enjoyers etc etc
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coollyinterferes · 18 days
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"Back by unpopular demand:"
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"Us!"
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why does everything have to be a hecking issue with my sister
#she keeps getting on my case about the Theatre Boy thing which I would just like to hecking leave in the past#she keeps getting on my case bc I wear short shorts and spaghetti strap tank tops AROUND THE HOUSE AS LOUNGE CLOTHES#she's like DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT MODESTY and I'm like YOU WALK AROUND IN SHORTS AND A SPORTS BRA ALL THE TIME#(possibly bc I thought I could get away with wearing lounge clothes with a long shawl thing overtop the other day to worship practice#but I did in fact change my trousers after my mama pointed out that it wasn't super modest)#she keeps making comments about how I do inappropriate stuff on my phone bc I... watch one(1) sitcom?????#shows like that are IRREVERENT AS HECK like come on of course I'm not going to be totally open with my kid sister about them#I am an ADULT I can make my own choices about what content I will put up with in media#I can make my own choices about clothing if I think my mom's idea of ''anything more than an inch above the knee#is immodest'' is silly and restrictive for my body shape and comfort level personally#like... why does she have to act so high and mighty around me? she's in MIDDLE SCHOOL and I know I haven't always been the nicest to her#but I'm making the effort. I'm trying to get along with her and what I get is disdain on the daily in return :/#our mom said it's probably bc she was hoping I wouldn't move back in so she'd have our room to herself and now she's mad#that I'm back bc she has to share a space again and like I KNOW middle school ages SUCK I've BEEN THERE#but still I just. want to get along. but she picks on me and then I get frustrated and then I snap at her and it just doesn't end well#it's a nasty cycle tbh. I'm praying about it.#Lu rambles#personal#delete later
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hightowres · 2 months
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why do i feel like there’s some sort of veil between me and the rest of the world
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doyeons · 1 month
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i get a headache thinking about how it went from just my parents saying “hey maybe you should come home before spring break to see daisy again just in case” on monday to her being gone on friday morning
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sillyfudgemonkeys · 6 months
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Everyone's talking about Wish right now.... The only thing I can say about WISH.......let's hope it's like a Frozen 1 type thing. Where the trailers were ABSOLUTE ASS but then the film turned out really good. TT0TT
I mean.....there is a difference between the two. While the west got weird trailers that didn't matter for Frozen (Olaf vs Sven carrot thing), JPN and other countries got trailers that actually showcased the plot and drama in an interesting way.... And Wish.....well...... Wish at least gives us a villain and a part of an argument.....and I can't see that argument leading anywhere.....great tbh. So maybe not the best comparisons but let's hope for the Frozen 1 vibe!
Anyway I'm not liking what I'm seeing so far, but I'm hoping its better than the ass disaster Frozen 2 and Ralph 2 were. ;w;
#silly talks#disney#WISH#frozen#as frozen's first fan and the one that didn't care the trailers were ass......my heart goes out to Wish fans rn kldjsafkljsaf#'silly that's pretty bold of you to consider yourself THE FIRST frozen fan-" i drove that damn bandwagon y'all just jumped on later#no really around 2009-2010 i remember looking at the Snow Queen disney page wikipedia page to see if it finally got taken off of hiatus she#*off the hiatus shelf#i remember the damn day the announced Dinsey would take a crack a the Snow Queen adaptation again#then when they announced Kristen Bell for a character (super estatic cause i wanted to hear her singing even more after watching Veronica m#*after watching veronica mars)#The Snow Queen has been a fav fairy tale of mine since i was a baby so yeah I was excited to say the least TT0TT#and yeah 5 seconds into the movie (the day it released mind you! yes I was there I remember how dead the theater was) i was like 'I love it#I ended the movie and wanted to go back in too i loved it that much#safe to say I was BLOWN AWAY by how much OTHERS loved it esp after everyone was bitching abt it leading up to that film TT0TT#anyway love frozen 1 it's my fav#hate frozen 2 it's hot garbage I never felt more lied to by trailers than this movie holy shit#i'm like 8 rants away from writing a complete dissertation on how Frozen 2 completely misunderstood Frozen 1 in it's entirety#(note: I dont think F1 is perfect nor do I think it's a masterpiece I just happen to love it a lot uwu)#anyway I hope wish has a similar thing (sleeper hit release part....not a shitty sequel part)
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revenantghost · 6 months
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I feel so bad for the folks who bought those figures at $500 a pop in the last year or so, but also I deeply understand because those guys are banger
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lambjock · 5 months
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your thoughts on the cut jackienat scene are everything and it's really nice to see someone else get it. the discourse from the scene has been draining enough because people don't think it was cut for being out of character when that seems to be the case
also, happy belated!
i'm glad to hear that you ( and others ) agree! honestly, i was quite nervous to post my thoughts on the matter in the main tag, considering how crazy fandom spaces can get nowadays, but i felt so strongly about this in particular that i couldn't help it. my main issue with the discussion surrounding this deleted scene is the fact that it feels extremely pointed. for the last few months, jackienat as a romantic relationship and as a platonic pairing has been gaining steady traction ; they've become a staple to most fics as an essential dynamic and something that heavily matters to both characters. besides shaunajackie it's easily the second most popular ship for jackie, and in a way i think that's the problem. ever since gaining more popularity, there's been very odd comments thrown it's way? people taking every given opportunity to claim they don't see the 'jackienat romantic vision' on edits, saying it would never be a thing because of jackie's one slut shaming comment about natalie, etc etc. before this deleted scene dropped there clearly were handfuls of people who would do anything to tear this dynamic down and then they finally got the biggest chance to do so ... and they did! i've seen people call jackienat's whole dynamic 'completely fanon', people saying this was a satisfying scene to them because of jackienat shippers disliking shaunajackie, and excuses after excuses as to why this scene is, in fact, canon and why it works. overall it was just saddening to see? just feels like a good majority of yellowjackets fans see jackie as shauna's property rather than a fictional character people can do whatever with, so the idea of her having a relationship with natalie quickly became this threat that they had to belittle and claim as ooc at every given opportunity. which is weird! considering shauna has so many other ships that don't include jackie at all. it's also a little amusing since a good chunk of these people happen to ship shaunanat, most of them quickly rallying behind the 'nat pointing a gun at a pregnant shauna' scene as shipping fodder. don't think i've seen anyone saying 'oh shaunanats lost with this one' despite the heap of comments saying this for jackienat.
point is : i find the intent behind people's talk for this scene to be rather weird more than i find the scene itself to be sad or despairing. simply because it is just not canon. when scenes are cut for time, they've usually been filmed first -- considering that said scenes made it into the final, 100% solid script. this is true for the shauna and adam bdsm scene because we've seen clips of that in the actual show, meaning they filmed it and just cut it for time. same thing with a lot of s2's cut for time scenes! lots of the actresses and actors said these moments had been filmed but just didn't make the final cut. to me this signifies a time issue to some degree, especially given how long some of these scenes would've been! but the jackienat thing would've been a couple seconds tops? it was nothing more than jackie sitting outside and then the two of them passing her all while nat gives her a scathing, hateful look. considering we see shots of jackie sitting by herself with the cabin's front door in view, this would've been fairly easy to accomplish! i don't think people get that, per se. which to me signifies it was cut from the script before they started filming, or that by the time they got to the finale they saw this as ooc. idk. it just doesn't make sense for this to be cut for 'time issues' like the way some people are trying to argue. and even if this was the case, it proves that the writers deemed this moment as something unimportant enough to not include.
also, i don't see why this is the be all end all of jackienat either. is it bad to say this scene would've made me like them more? picturing this scene as canon and then having to watch natalie's anguish in s2 ep3 makes her guilt all the more agonizing to me, honestly. it was already such a hard hitting scene : seeing nat treat jackie's remains with respect, to see her shed her walls and be vulnerable with someone she didn't know well but cared for, and to get a peek into the fact she feels so guilty because, naturally, natalie sees this as her fault. they ate jackie because she couldn't find food fast enough. they killed her because she hadn't been there. these are things nat doesn't need to feel guilt and shame over, because jackie wasn't her responsibility or her friend, but she feels them anyway and she feels them intensely. now imagining this scene in a world where the deleted part was canon? awful! those emotions would've been way more heightened, all those personal blames would've had a fraction of truth to them, and natalie would be forced to acknowledge that when someone needed her help, she had just left them behind in the cold. something which would also intensify the pain of her watching javi drown in freezing water all while crying out to her ... a moment which she'd be wearing jackie's necklace. also, i'd find it kind of interesting that it'd be implied natalie has all these complexities and personal hatred over letting jackie taylor die just like shauna. they'd be the two who take her passing the hardest, the ones who blame themselves more than anyone else. to me that's just gayer than what we got canonically lol. but in turn, i think this could've been another reason why it was cut? this guilt and shame and hate was something reserved for shauna alone, because it's so pivotal to her character and growth, to the point that the writers couldn't let anyone really share that same feeling. it would've taken away from shaunajackie, i think, and what makes them special. if natalie genuinely had walked past jackie out of hate only for her to die the next morning, i believe we would've seen this guilt permanently etched into her character from the beginning. people forget just how quickly nat is to blame herself for things! and be very obvious about that blame! just feels like we would've known if natalie had left jackie out there on purpose, which isn't something we know at all in regards to the actual show.
anyway! i've rambled on quite enough. to me, this scene isn't that bad at all, and i don't think this takes away from the potential of jackienat whatsoever. there's really no evidence that it does! even in the worst case scenario of this scene being canon, it just makes the dynamic much more tragic, which fans eat up on this show. and at the end of the day i wouldn't give the discussions much attention, considering most peoples reasons for wanting this scene to be canon are very petty.
#my posts.#asks.#yellowjackets#at this point a lot of people have talked about how this is ooc for the show's nat so i didn't talk about that much!#but like i definitely agree. just didn't feel like i had more to bring to the table with that so i talked about other things on my mind#like in general i think the idea that nat would parallel shauna when it comes to jackie taylor is INSANE#and feels more like a win to jackienats then it feels like a loss#is it ooc for our nat? yes. would it have been heart wrenching to see nat's reaction after? also yes.#just because i think she would've brought jackie in doesn't mean i don't like the idea of this scene. even if just a little bit#but due to how ooc it feels and how some people are acting about this scene i just. am not fucking with it super hard#it just feels like some people need everyone to hate jackie besides shauna? like this is something they need to be canon#which rubs me the wrong way and makes me more of a jackienat defender than i initially was#at the end of the day : if natalie forgave and loved the girls after doomcoming? she would've done the same with jackie but faster#these girls loved each other and it was awful and that's kinda it#jackie wasn't some special exception where everyone hated her 24/7 and hated her pre-crash and just always hated her#for one its so unrealistic and for two this goes against the themes of intense female friendships and how shaky they can be#jackie wasn't always hated but they turned on her quick for silly ridiculous things#its just how teenagers are#and idk jackienat's whole thing of 'oh we could've been best friends in a kinder world during a better time' devestates me#out of all the girls there the one who would've understood jackie best would've been nat#just like how the same is true the other way around! they really could've understood each other#could've been there for each other and provided and loved but they didn't. and now they wont ever get the chance to#anyway!!! i hope this makes sense im tired but yeah <3 thanks sm for the birthday wishes and for this ask!!!#it was fun to revisit this so soon haha so thanks sm have an amazing day!
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