#orchestral excerpts

[rememberthelaughtermp3]

need to go practice for my exam probably….

#trumpet exam sometime within the next couple months #this study is so annoying why the fuck would you make me play #*that fast #but alas I must push on #the rest of my pieces are pretty much fine #and i need to work on my scales a bit but they’re not as bad as before #it’s really just this #oh and the orchestral excerpts #fucking hate those #ez.txt

[nyerus]

The Narrative Importantance of Hualian's Sexual Intimacy

This is a repost and minor edit of a thread I made on Twitter yesterday. This is a topic I have always wanted to talk about because of how often it comes up in TGCF fandom, time and time again.

‼️CW: mentions of sexual assault, self-harm, bodily injury‼️

⚠️Major spoilers for the entire novel ahead⚠️

---

Saw a question the other day on what relevance Hualian being sexually intimate by the end of the novel had to either the narrative or Xie Lian's character arc.

In short: it bears significant relevance, especially in context of other themes the novel explores like bodily autonomy.

Throughout the novel, we see time and time again that Xie Lian is often dehumanized by pretty much everyone—including himself—with the sole exception of Hua Cheng. I've talked more in depth about it in an old twt thread, for those interested. @/stalliondany on twt has also made an excellent recent analysis that goes deeper into the specific ways Xie Lian was used as a physical shield, martyr, or scapegoat for others without thought to his humanity or suffering. I highly recommend reading it first!

But to sum it all up: it's important to Xie Lian's character arc to keep in mind that he is used to seeing his own body as a tool to solve problems. And in crucial narrative moments, he is robbed of his bodily autonomy, and either brutalized or violated in service of others.

One of the plot points that ties together all these concepts is actually... Xie Lian's chastity vows. That will be the main focus of this post.

When he was a young teen (or possibly as a child), Xie Lian took an oath of chastity because such was the norm for cultivators seeking ascension in Xian Le. To Xie Lian, even as he grew older, he never had an issue with this because he just never felt sexual attraction to another person, or any desire to be intimate in that way. Even if he yearned for the concept of being loved. And indeed, at first glance, his chastity vows may seem like nothing more than a side note. Or even a funny gag when it comes to Hua Cheng (later).

In reality Xie Lian's chastity vows are not only used against him, but paint a very disturbing picture with regards to his repeated violation.

The Land of the Tender scene is the most obvious example of this. Xie Lian's vows are directly tied to his spiritual powers, and because it affects how his followers see him. They place a high value on his chastity as being vital to his moral character.

For reference, an excerpt from TGCF vol. 3 of the English print translation, page 135:

Xie Lian's method of cultivation required a pure body. Those who worshipped the ascended cultivators who practiced this path were firmly convinced of the transcendence of gods untouched by earthly desires. If they couldn't protect their purity, their following would no doubt collapse and their powers would be devastated. It wouldn't be as serious as plunging from godhood to back to mortality, and there was still the possibility of recovery after many more years of cultivation—but with things as they were now, there was no time for him to sit behind closed doors and cultivate for years!

As a reminder: it is Bai Wuxiang who orchestrated this whole thing. Him trying to compromise Xie Lian in this way is horrific on many levels, yet that's not the main point I want to make here. It's that to preserve his "pure body," the solution Xie Lian realizes is to severely harm himself. To impale himself with his sword through the abdomen.

The juxtaposition of having to maintain bodily purity versus the gruesome violence inflicted on his body is extremely stark.

This grim contrast is no more evident than in the 100 swords scene. Where Xie Lian's body is literally brutalized and defiled to an unthinkable degree. To the point where he, quote: "no longer looked human." Yet he emerges from that temple physically "pure" all the same. His chastity vows were not broken, his body healed without scars. As though he was untouched.... And yet, he was completely destroyed mentally. It left permanent effects on him as a person. It's even worse when the scene is read analogous to sexual assault, as many have talked about before. I think that interpretation actually hits the nail on the head, especially keeping in mind the Land of the Tender scene and all the similarities between them.

Following the 100 swords scene, Xie Lian of course has a complete disconnect between himself and his body. I believe this is part of why he doesn't really feel pain, except when he is with Hua Cheng, who treats him and his body as one. As a person who is cherished, and loved. Hua Cheng is adamant in his adoring treatment of Xie Lian. Small injuries are also something he cannot tolerate because he knows what horrors befell Xie Lian in the past. (He was present at both the terrible moments mentioned above.) He will not let any of that continue, regardless of what Xie Lian says, because he sees it as injustice.

Xie Lian is willing to use himself as a tool to help others no matter the personal cost. He even thinks of it as something he must do, or that he deserves as penance. But Hua Cheng is the one person who asks "what about you?" He's the one that insists "your happiness matters." And it is Hua Cheng that takes issue with Xie Lian's chastity vows as being unfair, unlike everyone else. Regardless of Hua Cheng's reasons for this diegetically, symbolically it means a lot that he is the one opposed to this.

Just thinking about the chastity vows on their own for a moment: Xie Lian can indulge a little bit in stuff like alcohol, which isn't great to begin with for him. But he absolutely cannot engage in "pleasures of the flesh." He can totally have his flesh ripped from his bones, literally, but actually experiencing any kind of sexual gratification? Now that would make him unclean, and lesser.... Why? Because unlike everything else, that's something Xie Lian would do simply for himself to feel good. And what greater crime is there than to ever dare put himself first?

So Hua Cheng—being the one person who puts Xie Lian first above all else—thinking that such a restriction doesn't make sense is important. Hua Cheng being the person who Xie Lian breaks those vows for in the end is important! (Especially because it seems to have been an easy choice for him.)

And of course, the scene with Jun Wu and the Virginity Detector Sword™ has to be mentioned. Again, there's symbolism to be had! The perpetrator of two of the most physically violating moments of Xie Lian's life (both of which were sexual in nature; one literally and one allegorically) being the one to "check" Xie Lian's virginity... oof. Yikes. It's dramatic irony. It's deeply uncomfortable. Especially because Jun Wu probably wanted to know if Xie Lian slept with Hua Cheng, as he already knew Xie Lian wasn't the ghost fetus' father.

So it's once again a stark juxtaposition: of Ghost King Hua Cheng disagreeing with the purity vows, wanting Xie Lian to break them for himself and his own freedom. Versus Heavenly Emperor Jun Wu wanting to weaponize those vows against Xie Lian in whatever way he can, intact or not, to keep control over him.

Naturally, there's something to be said for the real-world problem with such purity vows being used against people, to judge their moral character, societal expectations, etc. Elephant in the room. It's very on the nose, so there isn't even much to say about it that hasn't been said already.

In the end, it comes down to how horrible it is that when Xie Lian tries to help others, it results in immense harm to his body every time. Yet he is expected to continue to bear it, for centuries, by others and also himself. Until he meets Hua Cheng, who helps him rediscover what it means to be happy, and to be loved. So yes, it's absolutely relevant that in the end, Xie Lian decides to break his purity vows to be intimate with Hua Cheng. That he's able to put himself in Hua Cheng's hands, and let himself be treated with affection and desire. It's Xie Lian finally forgiving himself, and beginning to heal.

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hob #heaven official's blessing #hualian #meta #nyerus.txt #crosspost

[xgumiho]

(You got me) in the palm of your hand

"Fortunes told, futures unfold." The sign at the local ren faire looks tempting. After all, Steve is one year out of high school and has no idea where his life is going. Sometimes he wishes someone could just gaze into the future and figure it out for him. In the fortune teller’s tent, Steve has a run-in with his past. And if he doesn’t turn on his heel and leave, it has absolutely nothing to do with how pretty Eddie Munson looks in his costume, all gleaming jewelry and dark tendrils of hair spilling out from under a patterned headscarf. He lets Eddie read his palm, because why the hell not? It’s all bogus anyway! Except, as the summer goes on, Steve finds that Eddie’s cryptic predictions somehow, inexplicably keep coming true. As they keep running into each other, almost as if orchestrated by an invisible force, Steve can’t help but be intrigued with the other boy. He also can’t seem to forget how pretty Eddie’s eyes look in black liner, or the way his fingers feel on his skin, but that is an entirely different problem. Read the fic here.

Author: @just-my-latest-hyperfixation (tumblr) | just_my_latest_hyperfixation (AO3)

Artist: Yours truly @xgumiho (tumblr) | xgumiho (instagram) | jul2ja (twitter)

The other artist creating for this fic: @peachypurr (tumblr) | peachypurr (linktree)

Thank you @steddiebang for hosting Steddie Bigbang 2023!

Personal note!

I have already talked about this but I'm gonna say it again because I can!

When Steddie Bigbang fic excerpts dropped, I got HOOKED on Hype's fic immediately. I knew I just HAD to draw for this fic because I saw what I wanted to do in my mind's eye the moment I laid my eyes on the excerpt 🖤 I loved every part of this fic and I hope y'all will love it just as much!! Chapter 1 is now available and also make sure to stay tuned for the updates - you're gonna adore each and every chapter. Please don't forget to show lots of love for the author and leave comments under the fic 🖤

#steddie #steve and eddie #steve x eddie #steve/eddie #eddie fanart #eddie munson #steddie fanart #steve fanart #steve harrington #steddiebang #steddiebang23 #stranger things art #stranger things #stranger things fanart #eddie #steddie big bang #steddie bigbang #palm reading #fortune teller

[lesbianfakir]

Fakir's theme (Beethoven's Coriolan Overture) always struck me as funny because it stands apart from the other character's themes. Mytho has the delicate Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy, Rue the somber Gymnopedie No 1, Duck the cheerful Nutcracker Oveture etc... while Fakir's theme is well... LOUD.

It characterizes his most aggressive moments, mainly playing in scenes where he antagonizes Mytho and Duck.

This always sat a little weird with me as it is a very surface-level character theme for such a complex character. In contrast, Rue's theme tells us something about her motivations under the Kraehe persona. Fakir's on the other hand tells us that he's mean and aggressive... something any viewer who's gotten to a scene where the song plays already knows.

On one of my rewatches, though, I noticed that he has another song that functions as a sort of secondary theme: an excerpt from Scheherazade.

This song plays most notably throughout most of episode 12, while he is bonding with Duck. It shows up a few times later in season 2, mainly in scenes concerning Fakir's struggle to write. As such, I view it as a complementary theme to the Coriolan Overture.

Listening to the song, it feels much more in line with Fakir we've come to know him. The song can be a little delicate and a little sad with gentle wind solos that lead into loud, grand orchestral sections. The repetitiveness, tempo, and use of dramatic brass and strings give these louder sections a gallant, almost desperate tone. It's super fitting that this is the song that plays throughout the episode where we get the best sense of Fakir's natural personality when he isn't putting on the cold persona.

I don't really have a deeper analysis here I just think it's really fun that as his character develops he gets an additional theme. If you think about it the music in Tutu functions as a sort of jukebox musical--the world and characters are built around the songs. Once we start to get to know who Fakir really is, the music that represents him changes to reflect him better.

#i dont know much about music pls dont crucify me if im not very good at analyzing things #also v funny itoh was like lollll I just gave him an Arabic name for the aesthetic #and then has one of his main leitmotifs comes from Scheherezade #ya know. Scheherazade. from 1001 ARABIAN nights fame #whatever i wont let her whitewash her own character not on my watch #anyways oh coriolan oveture doesnt go away it just stops being played when he's being a dick #love love love the music its so fun #other characters have secondary themes too. but this post ain't about them #princess tutu #fakir #lea posts

[hedgehog-moss]

do you have any recommendations for favorite french-language poetry? esp written by women?

Yes, sure! We might not have the same tastes (I like nature poetry mostly, and good old lavish alexandrine verse—I find the predictability of it very soothing) but here are excerpts of poems by 13 French-language poétesses :)

(I wanted to add a few men at the end but I spent too much time on the women, and the French male poets I enjoy are very well-known ones anyway, e.g. Hugo, Mallarmé, Prévert, Aragon... also André Breton's surrealist poetry)

• Sabine Amable Voïart, known as Amable Tastu (1798-1885)

D’où vient que l’âme humaine est ainsi disposée, Que jamais ses regards troublés et mécontens N’ont pu s’accoutumer à la marche du temps? Sur l’éternel chemin, chaque borne posée Nous attriste. D’où vient? je ne sais; mais toujours Le vertige nous prend à voir couler nos jours: 

Si vous reparcourez l’enclos où votre enfance Avez-vous souvenir, à l’âge où tout enchante, D’une voix qui vous plut, voix timide et touchante, […] Que, plus tard, cette voix résonne à votre oreille, De vos rêves déçus vous raillez la merveille, Vous prenant en pitié d’avoir si mal jugé… Elle est la même encor; mais vous avez changé!

• Louise-Victorine Ackermann (1813-1890)

(A la comète de 1861) […] Ah ! quand tu reviendras, peut-être de la terre L'homme aura disparu. Du fond de ce séjour Si son œil ne doit pas contempler ton retour, Si ce globe épuisé s'est éteint solitaire, Dans l'espace infini poursuivant ton chemin, Du moins jette au passage, astre errant et rapide, Un regard de pitié sur le théâtre vide De tant de maux soufferts et du labeur humain.

• Marie Dauguet (1860-1942)

Mon coeur est né sauvage et seul comme un merle, Que berça la chanson du vent, subtil orchestre, Ivre des noirs myrtils dont la forêt s'emperle, Grisé d'odeur de source et d'haleine sylvestre. […]

Et d'abord très souvent j'étouffe dans moi-même, Tout m'y semble étriqué, trop étroit et mesquin, Et je fuis l'infini pour l'infini que j'aime, Parmi le ciel, les eaux, les circuits des chemins.

• Alice de Chambrier (1861-1882) (she is Swiss)

J’ai vu comme l’on voit quelquefois dans un rêve, Une immense Cité près d’une immense grève, Avec des dômes d’or et des palais géants, Des temples incrustés de mille diamants […]

Plus tard j’ai repassé devant cette cité, Et voulant la revoir, je m’y suis arrêtée; Mais à peine mes pas ont foulé sa poussière Que devant mes regards elle s’est tout entière Écroulée—et n’est plus qu’une ruine immense Dont le cri des Vautours trouble seul le silence.

• Lucie Delarue-Mardrus (1868-1949)

1. Humanité sans force, endurante moitié Du monde, ô camarade éternelle, ô moi-même ! Femme, femme, qui donc te dira que je t’aime D’un cœur si gros d’amour et si lourd de pitié ?

2. J’aime, en quelque lieu que ce soit, L’heure où l’existence, pour moi, Redevient nocturne et muette.

L’heure sans lois et sans humains, Sans hiers et sans lendemains, Où je ne suis plus que poète.

La seule heure d’esprit total, Celle où, jusqu’oublier mon mal Je sens se fermer toute plaie,

Car je ne fus moi-même, vraie, Car je ne fus ce que suis, — Passionnément — que les nuits.

• Anna de Noailles (1876-1933)

Nature au cœur profond sur qui les cieux reposent, Nul n’aura comme moi si chaudement aimé La lumière des jours et la douceur des choses, L’eau luisante et la terre où la vie a germé.

La forêt, les étangs et les plaines fécondes Ont plus touché mes yeux que les regards humains, Je me suis appuyée à la beauté du monde Et j’ai tenu l’odeur des saisons dans mes mains.

• Renée Vivien (1877-1911) (English, mainly wrote in French)

Dans l’azur de l’avril et dans l’air de l’automne, Les arbres ont un charme inquiet et mouvant. Le peuplier se ploie et se tord sous le vent, Pareil aux corps de femme où le désir frissonne.

[…] Vêtu de clair de lune et de reflets d’argent, Le bouleau virginal à l’ivoire changeant Projette avec pudeur ses blancheurs incertaines. Les tilleuls ont l’odeur des âpres cheveux bruns, Et des acacias aux verdures lointaines Tombe divinement la neige des parfums.

• Valentine Penrose (1898-1978)

Notre Père qui êtes aux cieux des doux matins bercés aux fleurs des laitues bleues, […] que votre nom soit sanctifié ! O Brume d’or dans les vergers, que votre volonté soit faite ! Sur la Terre comme au Ciel ; sur la terre élançant ses arbres au soleil, sur les labours luisants chevauchés de noyers, sur le sol des jardins de chaleur tout vrillés […]. Donnez-nous aujourd’hui notre Pain quotidien. Dans la fraîche cuisine où bourdonne une guêpe, où les fourmis montent leur noir petit chemin […] Et pardonnez-nous nos offenses… […]

• Louise de Vilmorin (1902-1969)

Pois de senteur en ma demeure Et sur mon cœur poids de cent heures

Je t’enlacerai, tu t’en lasseras

Étonnamment monotone et lasse, Est ton âme en mon automne, hélas !

• Andrée Chedid (1920-2011)

Échappant à l'enclume du temps L'Univers sème ses formes Véhicule ses songes S'invente des tumultes

[…] Enserrée dans son globe Empoignant son noyau La Terre emporte l'histoire Vers son immense dérive.

• Anne Perrier (1922-2017) (also Swiss)

1. Ô rompre les amarres Partir partir Je ne suis pas de ceux qui restent La maison le jardin tant aimés Ne sont jamais derrière mais devant Dans la splendide brume Inconnue

2. Lorsque la mort viendra Je voudrais que ce soit comme aujourd'hui Un grand soir droit laiteux et immobile Et surtout je voudrais Que tout se tienne bien tranquille Pour que j'entende Une dernière fois respirer cette terre Pendant que doucement s'écarteront de moi Les mains aimées Qui m'attachent au monde

• Marie-Claire Bancquart (1932-2019)

1. Un tremble c'est le nom du peuplier blanc : luisance furtive.

Éclair des feuilles leur vie scintille

instant après instant elles chuchotent que nous avons aussi des moments miroitants minuscules, étincelantes traces de nous sur le monde. 2. Je suis l’encolure d’un pays vêtu de toile et d’eau, longtemps ténébreux, maintenant étalé sur la nuit, croisé une fois pour toutes par le crépuscule, et qui entend les soleils célébrer leur courbe.

Je suis son oreille, et, dans son oreille, ce qui, bruissant, permet le bruit.

[…] Mais suis-je enclave, ou bien ce pays serait le creux nécessaire au violon, l’autour-de-moi facilitant mémoire?

• Hélène Dorion (1958 - ) (she's from Québec)

Autour de moi les notes lumineuses d'une feuille venue jusqu'à la branche pour remuer avec le souffle danse et boit l'eau qui la sauve au matin quand recommence son chemin vers le soir

et je marche aussi d'un pas qui repose dans l'infini j'écoute le monde qui bruit à travers les arbres seuls comme des êtres occupés à devenir leur forme singulière

#tumblr's garbage new post editor keeps randomly un-italicising my italics :l #anyway i really like anna de noailles and renée vivien in particular #also marie-claire bancquart whom i discovered more recently!

[synthetic-ultramarine]

My pleroma's thesis reading list is turning out to have a recurring theme of divine/pilot relationships diverging from what is conventional for their time and place and growing to resemble the relationship models of other societies instead; it comes up in Vault of Anticipation and in the road to palisade Hounds game. The divine/pilot relationship is explicitly represented across seasons as socially constructed and as something that changes. I think this is a refreshing break from the larger media landscape, where ideas of "what a wizard is" or "what a jedi is" are frequently imagined in a more essentialist way and often not imagined by their writers as socially constructed and therefore changeable.

Anyway in the vault of anticipation, Anticipation is found to have died attempting to disprove Pleroma's conclusion that any relationship between mortals and divines is ultimately doomed to become a relationship of exploitation in the long term. Ironically, in attempting to prove that mortals and divines can have equitable relationships which do not devolve into domination and exploitation, Anticipation consumed her Excerpt, using the processing power of her human brain and leaving her a mummified husk. this Excerpt's name was "Under the cover of night, the Civet stalked mouse and berry alike", abbreviated to ⸢Civet⸣; the animal name calls back to the naming conventions of the Divine/Candidate relationship. While the Divine/Excerpt relationship is more equitable, the Divine/Candidate relationship was likened to human sacrifice. Harm or death to the human partner as a result of a relationship with the divine was considered normal in Counter/weight, but was shocking and disturbing in the twilight mirage.

Fealty and Veronique's relationship is a Divine/Elect relationship, but their story has callbacks to both the Divine/Excerpt and Divine/Candidate relationships. Veronique was recruited as a student athlete; her relative youth calls back to the teenage Candidates of the counter/weight era, who reference the child soldiers of the mech genre's canonical works. There are other counter/weight callbacks; the etymological relationship between "Veronique" and "Berenice" calls back to Cassander and the use of the javelin as a primary weapon by both partners brings to mind the iconic image of Cassander's defeat of Rigour and autocrucifixion. It's like poetry, it rhymes. Later when the heresy squad comes after them, Fealty refers to Veronique as their "excerpt," not as their elect. To the heresy squad the use of this old terminology marks their relationship as deviant/heretical and in need of dissolution. For Fealty and Veronique, deserting the principality means redefining their relationship on their own terms, and while Veronique struggles to imagine a world outside of the Pricipality, Fealty remembers a world before it ever existed, and remembers having past relationships outside of the principality's standards.

Dahlia, Commitment, and integrity are (were) an interesting one. Their relationship deviated from the standard Principality model; Commitment was always unusual with its requirement for two pilots. Integrity is as old as Fealty, if not older; its form factor is unusual, and its relationship with Sokrates was unconventional, not least because they orchestrated a coup together. The Integrity/Dahlia/Commitment triad has a divine acting as the pilot of another divine which i think might be entirely new. Dahlia is stated to be appropriating/recuperating branched ideas about bodies and about relationships with the divine. This is different from the last two examples because it's mirroring a contemporary relationship model and not a past relationship model; the branched have solved or bypassed the issues Pleroma predicted by attaining a post-post-postmodern anarchic shifting oneness with the divine. Dahlia wants to gain power by emulating that relationship model but doesn't truly understand it.

#friends at the table #contemplating the thesis #dahlia's wiki page calls them a sicko. god i love it when wikis are allowed to editorialize.

[psychicexpertlover]

hi i really hope this doesn’t come off as offensive at all because it’s not intended to be but it probably will anyway just by default but… if i may ask, why do you stand with amber heard? you’re under no obligation to answer this but i wanted to know what your perspective is since there is so much evidence of her being an abuser circulating in the media. do you only support her because you don’t believe men can be victims? again i apologize if any of this comes off as hostile or accusatory, i genuinely just want to know your opinion!! i hope you have a nice day

\\ TERFS DNI //

Hey anon! I'm going to try to take this ask in good faith, but please know that assuming things ("do you only believe her because you don't believe men can be victims?") is rude - and unnecessary considering the content on my blog easily disproves it. It's simple really:

I do believe men can be victims.

I don't believe Johnny Depp is a victim of domestic abuse at the hands of Amber Heard.

You state that there is "so much evidence" to prove that she is abusive, but here's the kicker: there isn't. The piece that is most often cited as "evidence" is a heavily edited audio clip from Amber and Depp's marital therapy sessions, that was leaked by the Daily Mail. In this clip, Amber is heard saying that she slapped Depp (open palm) to which he argues that it was a closed-fist punch.

When the entirety of the recording was later released (don't remember to which site but I believe it was used in the most recent trial, which Depp lost) it was revealed that Depp headbutted Amber, making her nose bleed - she initially thought it was broken - and she struck him in self defense.

Now, another misconception is that Amber severed Depp's finger during a fight in which she threw a broken vodka bottle at him. This. Is. False. (Or at least very likely to be as I'll explain now). When the incident occured in 2017, Depp repeatedly stated that he cut his own finger. He said this unprompted, to several people, including ones who he would have no reason to lie to (e.g. his good friend Paul Bettany who has always harbored a strong dislike of Amber) and his personal doctor. The evidence (text messages, emails, etc) is currently being reviewed during the ongoing trial and can be found in the transcripts of Depp's witness testimonials as well as reputable news sites. (source used here being Insider)

Additionally, according to this excerpt from court documents, Depp's lawyer orchestrated a smear campaign to try to ruin Amber's reputation and credibility. Judging by the sheer amount of Depp supporters floating around the internet, it was successful.

There are also allegations that Amber abused her former partner, Tasya van Ree. However, Tasya herself has come forth and said these were entirely false, and were based in homophobia and misogyny. In the same statement, she went on to describe Amber as "brilliant, honest and beautiful woman and I [Tasya] have the utmost respect for her." (source)

Finally, most recently, makeup brand Milano accused Amber of lying of using their product to cover up her bruises. They stated, through a TikTok with questionable grammar, that the palette hadn't been released until 2017, a year after the allegations of DV. The ethics of the TikTok in question aside, it's... simply not true? Popular makeup magazine Glamour UK included the product in question in an article from June 3rd 2016. Plus, the brand of the palette used in court was never mentioned, and it was stated to be a prop, not the actual item Amber used.

So, now that we have cleared the rumors about Amber's supposed dishonesty, let's talk about the fact that Depp is a violent and abusive person - and has been proved, with evidence.

This article by the Irish Examiner goes in-depth about Depp's libel trial against the Sun (a tabloid that referred to him as a "wife-beater" which he contested). It examines the 14 cases of alleged violence - 12 of which were confirmed, and 2 of which were declared likely but lacking sufficient evidence to be confirmed. These date back to as early as 2013.

Let me say that again.

Johnny Depp beat and abused Amber Heard. This isn't "conjecture" or slander - a judge ruled him as a wife-beater based on actual evidence.

I would highly encourage everyone to read this article. It's horrifying and eye-opening.

Last but not least, please remember to take everything Depp's friends say with a whole ocean-full of salt. Case in point, Paul Bettany?

Yeah. That text exchange is from June fucking 2013.

I hope this was enough for you anon. You can also peruse the "amber heard" tag on my blog if you want to know more.

#i stand with amber heard #asks #long post #depp stans dni

[symphonybracket]

YouTube Links: Mahler 5, Dvořák 9

Comments:

Mahler 5

Debatably Mahler's most widely liked symphony, Mahler's 5th is full of romantic, sweeping solos. The especially famous 4th movement is often performed at large funeral or memorial events. Personally I'm in love with the 2nd movement most! The third movement is also famous for it's "corno obligatto" (like a fancy solo horn that stands throughout that movement). Also please watch this hilarious 1 minute long youtube video of a dog who is anti-mahler 5:

[Video Description: a trumpet player playing various excerpts and exercises next to his dog. The dog howls when Mahler 5 opening bars are played. /end Video Description]

Dvořák 9

I know it's gonna get nominated a hundred times, but I have listened to it four times in a row in the past week so I gotta mention it. Exquisite bliss from first to last note.

it slays <3

When I heard the first movement for the first time, I was GRINNING LIKE AN IDIOT because of how much I loved it. LIKE THIS IS SO YUMMY (link opens to the timestamp)

it's got everything. the interplay between minor and major. themes from the early movements that come back in the finale. the most iconic english horn solo in all of classical music. dvorak wrote it while traveling across the US and was directly inspired not only by his native czech/bohemian soundscapes but the musical languages he heard from black and native americans. there's a tuba part but it only plays for like five measures. fantastic orchestrations, making full use of all the different colors of the orchestra. the start of the finale sounds kinda like jaws. it is physically impossible for me to feel upset while i'm listening to it it's the first symphony i ever played in orchestra and i'm so normal about it that i want to get that EH solo tattooed on my art and also i wrote a paper about it for a university music history class and i got an A on it so it should definitely win the bracket or i'll cry

#mahler #Dvořák #classical music #Spotify #Youtube

[autumnwhistles]

To those who don't know – I'm currently writing a Last Life musical (first song here!). This is an excerpt from Song 2 (Corners of the World), which establishes the world, some alliances, and Martyn's worldview, as he's the central figure of this. Some lyrics will be below.

As said, more audition info will be coming later this week (I just need to iron a few things out in terms of describing the atmosphere for the soloist's songs), along with the audition form. In the meantime, here's an excerpt of Song 2 (up to the first half of the first chorus), played back on NotePerformer. This song is mainly sung by Martyn – Lizzie, Bdubs, Etho, Joel, Scott and Pearl do show up later, but in the parts you hear they haven't yet.

This is the second main atmosphere I'm going for for songs – more dramatic, important, server-wide or Watcher-related events will be more in the style of Middle of Nowhere (the first, posted, song), but while exploring and delving into the players' lives this will be more prevalent (the exceptions to this are some members of Team BEST, mainly Tango but to some extent Bdubs, whose songs can be more jazzy). I headcanon the state of development of the Last Life world as late medieval, so with the music here (especially the intro) I've tried to evoke a similar atmosphere to the background soundtrack of a typical 'peasant' village.

As said, I don't have the full lyrics yet but here's verse 2 and the chorus (the second half which isn't included in the extract because it's not orchestrated yet):

Walls, corners, edges, I’ve been this way before. You’ll be cornered in the corners, and on edge in many more; And walls you’ll build and walls you’ll raise and walls will fall in war, And in the end, it’ll be a void you’re fighting for. So corner to corner, I’ll keep wandering on, Border to border, through woods, through caves, through spawn, The seasons shift and the people change, there’s night for every dawn Don’t place your faith in fleeting snows*, and keep on wandering (wandering, wandering) on.

(And yep a lot of this – namely title and the second verse – was inspired by Martyn's speech to Ren after he beheaded him in 3rd Life ("You took me in when I was a lowly traveller, going across the lands, searching the four corners of this world. I learned there was nothing in this world for me. Nothing but walls, corners, edges. But you know what, you showed me life. As much as I've taken it from you, you gave it back to me in bucketsfulls") hehehe... except now it's back to being Walls Corners and Edges again because of 3rd Life turning out the way it did and them starting anew (and also 'Ren's death made c!Martyn permanently more selfish' my beloved).)

*I may change this if it's too on the nose/sounds too unnatural, but that's how it is for now.

#last life smp #3rd life smp #trafficblr #martyn inthelittlewood #life series smp #excerpts

[djgvr69a]

Kashmir by Led Zeppelin, symphonic version recorded live from the Epic Symphonic Rock show in Lima Perú in February 2018 

Cello played wonderfully by Ghislaine Valdivia www.instagram.com/ghislainevaldivia 

Music by The Symphonic Orchestra from Chancay - Perú. 

Conducted by Javier Fernandez Prada 

Drums by Hans Menacho 

Bass by Noel Marambio 

Percussion by Rodrigo Nuñez Melgar 

The introduction is an excerpt from Micky Tejada's Cello Concerto No1.

This is a fantastic cello and orchestral performance of Led Zeppelin's Kashmir.

Enjoy!

#Led Zeppelin #Kashmir #Epic Symphonic Rock #Lima #Peru #Cello #Orchestra #Cover #youtube #rock #music #Ghislaine Valdivia

[slavghoul]

Full article from Metal Hammer 12/2022 that I posted an excerpt from in the previous post. BTW, Impera landed #1 on Metal Hammer’s list of best albums of 2022!

--

It was January 2022, and we found ourselves sitting in the empty lobby of a snug Seattle hotel, overlooking the sunset over Puget Sound while soft rock wafted through the PA system. Across from us was Ghost frontman and mastermind Tobias Forge, and we spent nearly two hours talking about music, family, dogs and the steady ascension of Ghost from spooky Swedish underground band to arena filling titans. But mostly we were there to talk about Impera – their fifth album, then still two months away from release.

In the run-up to an album coming out – particularly one with a highly acclaimed predecessor, like 2018’s Prequelle – artists tend to convey palpable anxiety as they prepare to relinquish control of their work to the world. Not so with Tobias, who radiated ease and comfort. Impera had not yet seen the light of day, but he had already moved on. Looking back at that period today, he explains, “As soon as I am done making a record, I’m pretty much fed up with it. I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to know about it, I just want to forget about it. Once it hits the ears of people, depending on how it’s being received, that’s where you start from scratch again.”

Following Ghost’s North American tour with Volbeat and Twin Temple, Impera was released on March 11. It seamlessly blended pop-savvy songwriting with elaborate arrangements and steady torrents of anthemic pop metal riffage that created a wormhole back to the lighter-raising, arena-rock majesty of the 80s. From the glass-shattering scream that opened Kaisarion to the synth-rock squall of Watcher In The Sky, it delivered one guitar-powered banger after another.

It was enough to land Ghost their first No.1 position on Billboard’s Top Album Sales chart – their fourth Top 10 overall. Even bigger, in terms of vinyl and CD sales, Impera scored 2022’s biggest first-week sales for any album, of any genre. With more than 62,000 copies sold in the US alone, it easily bested The Weeknd’s February CD release of Dawn FM. In fact, Impera claimed the biggest first sales week for hard rock vinyl since Pearl Jam’s Vitalogy in 1994.

Critics united in swift and lusty praise. It might have felt heretical at the time, but many early reviews rated Impera as besting Prequelle on all fronts. Our very own Dave Everley wrote: ‘Impera wins on bolshiness, bravado and skyscraping songs alone. Ghost have turned in a modern metal classic with an arena rock heart. It turns out the Devil doesn’t have all the best tunes. Tobias Forge does.’ It’s safe to say any plans of “starting from scratch” were shoved to the back burner.

Ghost’s official Imperatour headlining run took them back across North America and then to Europe. Despite the lingering ravages of Covid across the live music industry, they thrived. “I am very happy that we managed to orchestrate a somewhat functioning but very successful album launch”, says Tobias. “We managed to nail 70 shows with just one cancellation. I think in this day and age in this year, that’s fucking great!”

Across the globe, stages were filling up with shows that had been booked many years prior. “We had to cut and paste a little with our touring schedule, because this past summer was basically filled with 2020’s line-ups,” says Tobias. “That made our scheduling a little… I wouldn’t say sparse, but we had breaks that were longer than normal. There are so many bands that are doing these weird dances. The last year of releasing an album into the void, with no touring and cancelling here and there and everywhere, and people having to rethink their lives, basically… We’ve been blessed not to have done too much of that.”

Logistics aside, somewhere along the line, that cultish little band from Sweden – the one with the creepy frontman singing about Satan and plagues and empires – went mainstream. Propelled by Impera’s momentum, the band tapped into new levels of cultural saturation thanks to appearances on mainstays such as Jimmy Kimmel Live.

“TV always brings you in front of new people”, says Tobias. “We did [The Late Show With Stephen] Colbert a few years ago, and every time you do something like that, you obviously expose yourself to a new scene of viewers. And that’s always great, unless you completely shit the bed on the air. Ha ha ha! I think we did do a few things this year that brought in a whole slew of new people into our fanbase.”

But ever the realist, he adds, “You might have a spike of people checking you out… but you don’t really notice if things like that had any effect. It’s not like the day after, all of your shows are now sold out and there’s a double night booked into every show you’re doing. It’s such a slow process that you don’t notice until a half year later when new fans come in and say, ‘I saw you on Kimmel’ or ‘I saw you with my dad.’ I wouldn’t say that being on Kimmel changed everything. It’s been slow, step-by-step, but it builds new branches onto the same tree and you keep growing higher.”

And higher they grew. In July, Mary On A Cross – originally released on the 2019 EP, Seven Inches Of Satanic Panic – was used in a Tiktok tribute to the show Stranger Things. The ripple effect was staggering. The song landed in the Top 10 of Spotify’s Viral 50 Global chart. As of this issue, the hashtag #Maryonacross has notched up well over one billion views. Ghost eventually released an official, slowed-down version of the song and the two versions combined now claim more than 180 million Spotify streams and counting. “For us, the Tiktok thing was or is just a giant bonus”, he explains. “That was never something that we planned.”

Surely the unplanned waves of publicity will ferry over legions of new fans, for whom an embarrassment of riches awaits. “One thing that I felt proud over, was the fact that we’ve been around for 12 years,” says Tobias. “We’ve made five records, a bunch of EPS, and I am glad that there seems to be a song that has a way to suck people in. And if they go into our world and like it, there is plenty to find. If you like Mary On A Cross, you can just jump on the train and go where we already are heading.”

It’s been an uncommonly good year for heavy music, but for Ghost it’s been more than a success – it’s been a coronation. Despite their demoniacal appearance and transgressive lyrical themes, they have negotiated the near-impossible task of attracting mainstream audiences while holding fast to the diehards in metal who have been there from the start. It creates the enviable problem of facing a new year with new pressures and heightened expectations. But Tobias has a plan.

“We’re doing a lot of touring again”, he explains. “On previous album cycles we’ve done four legs in America and two or three in Europe and repeated. We’re going to go into every territory next year, but there’s going to be one European tour, one American tour. We are going to do a little bit of everywhere. There’ll be a little bit of something up in upper Asia, on the far end there – a very well-established country with a lot of pop cultural fascination, and the home of videogames. And there’s going to be something in the Oceania world, and there might be something south of Panama, and there might be something slightly north of Panama. It feels pretty solid.”

He cryptically adds, “We’re going to come out with a little bit of change before that – good change. We’re not going to go silent. Some things are public, other things not in public view, but there are a lot of things brewing.”

We are journalistically bound to inquire about the next album and, unsurprisingly, Tobias remains mum. In January, he told us, “Everything I’m doing now is for the next record. I have a vague idea what that will be like and a vague idea of the title and the colour scheme.”

For now, that will have to do, but rest assured that as we all continue to enjoy the masterpiece that is Impera, Tobias is already hard at work, figuring out dramatic new ways to blow our minds. But he still allows himself the odd moment to stop and take it all in.

“To be able to make all of the shows that we’ve done, and to have a record that did fairly well, I think the sum of it is pretty fucking awesome,” he smiles. “I’m very thankful. It was a lot of hard work and a little bit of luck.”

#the band ghost #tobias forge #interview

[marketfreshfics]

Multi-Chapter Series:

The Stratagem Strain (WIP) | Part I | Part II | Read on AO3 Plot synopsis: Arriving at Hogwarts for an advanced graduate program on the direct appointment of the Minister for Magic himself, Paisley Gallos anticipates a successful sixth year of classes. Unbeknownst to her, she is a pawn in a sinister ploy orchestrated long before the start of the school year.

Poetry Requests (open)

Enigma - Sebastian x MC Excerpt: There is stoicism in the silent strength that she carries, an invisible mantle. For all her phlegmatic propriety, laughter is seldom heard but always marvelled, a comet streaking across the night, so breathtakingly beautiful because it is so fleeting, so untouchable; Blink, and you’ll miss it.

Patience - Ominis x MC Excerpt: You hesitate to admit struggling, but I see the tells; bleary eyes framed by dark recesses, chapped lips bitten bloody, chewed fingernails catching on your sleeves. The pain manifests in a controlled consumption from a voracious maw of your very blood. All standards and expectations and daunts of Gaunts before you, a decorum and propriety for archaic institutions, a plot you cease to play, and no love lost for those loved ones.

One-Shots & Drabbles

Love is A... | Sebastian x OC (NSFW) | Read on AO3 Excerpt: But that wasn’t what she fixated on. Instead of fear, she felt curiosity. Instead of warnings heeded, she draped his red flags over her shoulders like expensive silks. Deceived into tasting forbidden fruit by a f*cking snake. She could have laughed if she weren’t so fixated on the abject deploracy of it all.

Like Rabbits | Garreth x MC (NSFW) | Read on AO3 Excerpt: For all the smart comments, the witty banter, the years of flirtations that stacked the deck and colored your cheeks, Garreth melted against you, a mess of vulnerability and desire. His body responded eagerly, exploring newfound territories with a hunger born of longing. Eventually, his body caught up to the priority of the situation, wrapping both arms around you with eager motions and travelling to all the locations he’d only dreamt of visiting before.

'Loving him' drabble series: Ominis | Sebastian

#masterlist #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #hogwarts legacy fanfic #slytherin #marketfreshfics #garreth weasley #hogwarts legacy garreth #hogwarts legacy mc #hogwarts legacy fandom #sebastian x mc #garreth weasley x reader

[rey-jake-therapist]

Fandom and misogyny (spoiler Endless Nights)

I never cease to be appealed by the way some people will constantly find a way to dogpile on female characters, most often for no valuable reasons.

Take Killala of the Glow, in Endless Nights for example: this morning I woke up reading a post that said, "Dream and Desire used to be best friends, it's so sad they're strangers now, I spent an entire day cursing that BITCH Killala for cheating on Dream and ruining the good relationship he had with his sibling. She did them both so wrong!"

I read Endless Nights entirely (not just the excerpts that circulate online) so my eyes popped out when I read that, a bit like this:

Just because it is, you know.... it's a lie! Or at least, it is one, partially: it's true that Killala dumped Dream for another immortal being - Sto-Oa aka the Sun, no less, - who seduced her that day, but who started this, hmmm? No, not Dream's who didn't do anything wrong this time, it's someone else, search better....

It's THEM, Desire, yeah! They're the one who had fun pushing Killala in Sto-Oa's arms, and who made fun of Dream afterwards and didn't understand why he was upset!

I think maybe people forget how powerful Desire are? They are also the one who, eons later, would canonically cause Nada's infatuation for Dream and probably Dream's for her, because they knew it was forbidden for an Endless to love a mortal and wanted Dream to be caught in the act of wrongdoing...

Also, a bit of context is important here: Killala wasn't Dream's long time queen, she had just met him in her dreams a few days ago. Ok, it doesn't make cheating better, but she said herself to Destiny she wasn't sure she loved Dream yet. And once again, it was Desire who orchestrated the whole thing, as seen in this panel:

I wonder how come it's rarely pointed that he would repeat exactly the same trick eons later with Nada: he made Nada want Dream after she saw him in a dream, then made his lonely brother want Nada, because she wanted him and he was flattered by this attention.

Coming back to the subject, Endless Nights, it seems to me that Desire's intent was ALWAYS to mess with them -Dream and Killala -, because they wanted to have fun at their brother's depends!

And I genuinely believe they didn't think Dream would react so badly: nothing is serious for Desire, who lives only for the moment. How could they imagine it would be so serious for Dream, and that he would hold a grudge for so long?

Let's see a bit of context:

When we meet Killala, she has just met Dream - she tells Desire Dream visited her in a dream "some days ago"- doesn't know him much and isn't even sure she loves him. It doesn't excuse cheating on him, but I think it's fair to assume than it this story, it's more Dream's ego than his heart which was hurt. All he does after catching her in the act is telling the young Sol she will find her way home, and that her new lover will probably transport her. If he's big mad at Killala, he does a really great job at hiding it. At the end of the story, it is said by Sol's son - who tells the story to his own son - that Killala eventually died, but at no point it's suggested that Dream caused her death.

Another interesting fact to put the situation back in its context:

Killala has a little chit-chat with Destiny, Dream's big brother and the oldest of the Endless. He asks her if he loves Dream (she doesn't know, thinks she does) and tells her that "a millennia from now", the Endless will be forbidden to love mortals and that her case in particular will be heavily discussed:

Why though? It's often believed that the drama with Killala caused the "no romance with mortals" rule, but Destiny says it would be decided a millenia after Killala's era so frankly, it's doubtful that her fallout with Dream caused this.

However, it occurred to me that it may be the tension between Dream and Desire, caused by Killala cheating on Dream with Sto-Oa, that was discussed. Think about it: Dream and Desire probably worked together before Desire did that "joke"... After that day, they worked AGAINST each other, or at least Dream looked down on Desire's realms and Desire hated him for it. I don't think that Dream having a failed romance with Killala had any influence on the universe per se, but isn't it very likely that the shift in Desire and Dream's relationship did? 🤔

Another reason could be that Sol, the future sun that would shine on Earth, wanted the not yet created mortal humans to look like Killala, who he found very beautiful.

Who knows if Dream didn't have a negative reaction to this idea, and caused the higher instances to decide that it was better for him and the other Endless to not have romanced with mortal beings who liked the woman who had previously hurt one of them? All speculation of course, since we don't know much about this "no romance with mortals" rule after all, but it's so fun to speculate!

But I digress (bless Tumblr for the absence of text limit!). The subject of my post was the misoginy which Killala of the Glow, among other female characters in The Sandman, were subjected to by a part of the fandom. Don't get me wrong: what she did to Dream was very bad, cheating is wrong! But let's not accuse her of "separating the siblings" while:

1) she was surely under Desire's influence (see the screenshot below: Desire was watching her and Sto-Oa engage in a discussion, smirking),

2) the only one who can fairly be accused of doing that was one of the siblings themselves, Desire, when they decided to make fun of their sibling by humiliating him.

3) Also I'd argue that if Dream was entitled to be angry at his sibling - it was a very bad joke... - he should have moved on after a while.

Fun fact, by the way: Dream was disappointed by Killala's change of heart, but he didn't seem angry at her, and he let her go. He even understood immediately what really happened and Desire's influence! That's why he directly went to Desire after he caught her kissing another man. It was Desire's actions that hurt him, way more than Killala's, because he valued his sibling's affection and considered him his favorite sibling.

But sure, let's blame the blue skinned lady for not being able to resist the manipulations of an immortal being, who's got exactly that kind of power. Let's just do that! 😒

#the sandman meta #fandom sexism #Killala of the Glow #desire of the endless #dream of the endless #endless nights #the sandman spoilers #fandom misogyny

[helioselene]

GRACES TO THE GRAVE ⤳ aka GANG WIP; a nano '23 reintroduction

Looking at Ruth Granville, Juliette cannot help but be consumed by the desire to be simply human. To be loved for who she is and nothing more.

GENRE; alternative historical fantasy

AUDIENCE; new adult

STATUS; draft 2

COMPS; twelfth night meets the folk of the air

TROPES; enemies to lovers, gang rivalries, trio of best friends and their shenanigans, victorian era!steampunk world building, secret identities, marriage of convenience, "who did this to you?" but subverted

AESTHETIC; pomegranate juice slipping down your chin, blood on a knife, dancing in the moonlight, stolen kisses, hatred that consumes you, love that makes you cannibalistic

WARNINGS; violence, kidnapping, murder, adult content, swearing, gore and blood, cannibalism metaphors

LINKS; main tag (x) | excerpts (x)

SYNOPSIS;

Victorian London is on the precipice of destruction.

As civil war breaks out between the city’s most formidable gangs, Juliette Edevane finds herself with a daring mission: kill the leaders of the Bonellis and secure her position as heir to London’s underworld. But orchestrating the deaths of Ruth and Cassius Granville is not as simple as it may seem.

Juliette is swept into a world of murder, magic, and marriage - where a wedding between her and a long-time rival may signify the line between success and failure in her mission. Armed with such an alliance, she must navigate the dangerous waters of a London built on the blood of gang rivalries, where betrayal and death hides around every corner. And yet, with her own heart on the line, she must confront where her true allegiances lie: with her gang, with her husband, or with those she once thought to be her greatest enemies.

CHARACTERS;

juliette edevane. she/her. the jinx. a half-fae born into the night.

misty lygon. she/her. the jinx. a banshee made of death.

lun qi. he/him. the jinx. a warrior built from blood.

isaac farley. he/him. the bronze vipers. a criminal founded in sanguinity.

ruth granville. she/her. the bonellis. an assassin bathed in poison.

cassius granville. he/him. the bonellis. a wolf in sheep's clothing.

taglist under cut!

gang wip taglist: @worldsfromhoney @seasteading @lasbrumas @ikilledmyocs @redbloodprose @serpentarii @atelierwriting @moariin @socialmediasocrates @sourrcandy @anarchyandroses @halleyuhm @nightlylaments @cheshawrites @akiwitch @veneritia @n1ghtcrwler

reblog or send an ask to be added/removed!

#gang wip #nanowrimo #wtwcommunity #writeblrgarden #wip introduction #wip intro #spilled ink #writers on tumblr #my writing #writing

[mahoushojo-chan]

Astarion x Reader/Tav || nightmares and wet dreams

when i'm too far gone (can you show me love?)

warnings: 18+, mdni, sexual content, PTSD

synopsis: “Star? Are you okay?” Her voice comes second. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” She tells him, knowingly. She doesn’t need to ask him for his stories and she doesn’t need to seek out reasons or excuses. With his word, she would be gone, and he would no longer be in her embrace. He doesn’t want that.

an excerpt of "'cause my love (is mine, all mine)"

word count: 1318

pairing: astarion/reader!tav

other tags: bard!tav, sexual content, smut, erotic dreams, poetic sex cause it's dream, nightmares, f!reader, friends to lovers, oblivious pining, mutual pining, song inspo: gimme love by joji

ao3: here

concept: wet dreams

Every night, when Astarion is alone, it is the same dream:

It’s Cazador.

(It’s always Cazador.

Always,

always,

always—).

And he is not free from him. Cazador is omnipresent in his dreams, a shadow of his worst nightmare. But then again, Astarion’s worst memory is nothing at all. It’s darkness and hunger and only his thoughts keeping him company. It’s the sound of silence, and he cannot even listen to his own heartbeat (the sound of defeat from a single voice, exhausted and hoarse from screaming). It’s red nails and fingers that do not matter (broken and bleeding from its attempts to pry the damn thing open, but he does not feel the pain anymore). It’s the smell of his own rotting corpse, taunting him.

(He never should have escaped Astarion Ancunin’s coffin. Cazador had been waiting for him to ‘save him’ from the hell he had orchestrated for Astarion. His hand was extended towards him to help him up.)

The coffin is hollow once Astarion has left it. What comes out of it is a hollower man. The light inside him was swallowed by that void, and he remembers that the starlight that people see are often from stars that no longer exist. He is empty, and months later, he is still empty. He doesn’t remember how to use his legs at first, and he falls. There is still no light once he steps out, and he loses his footing, prepared to fall into another abyss.

He sees the world in monochrome, dimly able to make out his Master’s pale skin against the darkness. He is draped in black sheets to preserve his modesty. He is still capable of such a thing—Astarion is laid bare below him.

He never should have escaped Astarion Ancunin’s coffin. Cazador had been waiting for him to ‘save him’ from the hell he had orchestrated for Astarion. His hand is extended towards him to help him up.

Astarion is ready to take it, because at the very least, it is something. He wasn’t ready before. Before, he would have pulled as far away as possible until the master forced his hand. He would have retched at the thought of contact. (That was the problem, wasn’t it? That was the punishment. His unwillingness to please his Master). Now, the Master’s cold hand could be a refreshing embrace.

It means nothing. Cazador would only grant him pain.

Astarion looks at his bloodied fingers. He wants to feel again. He wants to taste something. He wants to devour himself whole. If he is good (not good—obedient), if he debases himself onto the shadows that prostrate themselves at his Master’s feet, then perhaps the Master would grant him that.

He is prepared for Cazador to lay hands on him. Instead, he feels a warmth lay hands on his fingertips.

They are gentle, as though scared to provoke him to run away, but most of all, they are warm. Each time feels like the first touch he has ever felt. He opens his eyes to see stars reflected in hers. She is bathed in moonlight, the same as the first time he had held her, and it brushes her cheeks and the light linen across her body with a cold blue hue. Her nails match his, dyed in a deep red paint. The room is awash in colour and light.

“Star? Are you okay?” Her voice comes second. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” She tells him, knowingly. She doesn’t need to ask him for his stories and she doesn’t need to seek out reasons or excuses. With his word, she would be gone, and he would no longer be in her embrace. He doesn’t want that.

He presses his lips against her sun-kissed skin in an act of self-immolation. The heat from her body threatens to burn him alive, but he wants more.

He opens her up the way he knows how. He showers kisses on the nape of her neck and waits for her to whisper his name while canting her hips. His actions begin to fall into habit, to practice. He cannot help himself. What Astarion’s body knows best is how to please his master—the parts that the coffin gave him left him with little else.

She arches her back to meet him, but then she holds his face in her hands and says absolutely nothing. He pulls away from her and looks at her. If he looks at her eyes closely enough, he can nearly make out his own reflection.

You can be so much more, he reminds himself. He can become so much more, by choice. He chooses to make peace with his broken-down heart and forget about everything else. He chooses his own desire.

There cannot exist a void in him that he cannot fix himself. He chooses to try again.

He traces a hand over her neck and it is not entirely smooth. It has the uneven texture of dry skin from travelling in the sunlight for so long. There’s a bob of her throat as she anticipates his touch. She is a little ticklish around her throat, and she gives a breathy laugh and breath full of laughter and he wants that—he wants it more than he has wanted anything, so he tries to capture the laugh with a kiss. When he leans in, he’s rewarded with a ricochet of light across the silver bedpost.

“Do you love me?” She asks when he finally parts, and it is the only selfish request she has ever made of him.

He knows the script well enough. Here, he is supposed to say ‘of course’, and dip below her waist to help her forget the lie. That is how he was taught to exist, to serve, to deceive beautifully. That is what he would say when he wanted to inflict himself upon others.

He does not know if he ever learned the answer to the question she asks. There is nothing he can give her that he has not given someone else. His skin is pale enough to reflect the rays that try to heal it. The only unique thing he can give her is truth, so he tells her, “Forever.”

But then she whispers, “You are mine,” in her belladonna tune—a melody that he recognizes differently from long ago. For this moment, he promised himself not to be trapped by his Master’s words.

She says it in the same way that the stars belong to her, the same way they belong to everyone else. The same way they belong to Astarion. The same way she belongs to him, and he makes his claim against her neck when he bites at the same time his hips press into her. He wants to make her fall apart. She is light and heat and the only sun he needs to care about.

He has to lace his red-painted fingers in hers to keep properly hear her pleasure. Out of all the lovers he has taken, this is what he wants. It wasn’t as if Astarion hadn’t had countless nights sweating, shouting, wishing for it all to stop. It wasn't as if he spent a lifetime searching for something to fill the hunger in him, to fill the parts he was lacking, searching for her hair spilled like ink against the sheets, a flushed face and breath coming in starts and an imperfect snort of joy coming with his grin.

As she opens her mouth, the sounds pour into his ears, flow into his bloodstream, and wheel him into a sensory euphoria. This is his love, only this, all of this.

He will not let her choose freedom of him. If he can choose his curse, he chooses her. He will leave his past to disappear. He follows her into oblivion, her name a mantra in his mind.

Tav, Tav, Tav—

Astarion wakes up drenched in sweat, blood at his lips, the front of his pants ruined.

He lies on the bed and he can still smell Tav’s scent, lingering on his mind. He isn't sure if it's actually there or just the vividness of the dream as it replays in his mind, the addicting distraction of the vulnerability of her expression, the feel of her tightening around him, her voice crying his name again and again in his own personal symphony.

For a moment, he can ignore all insecurity and doubt, and revel in the fantasy that he had been granted.

Then reality hits him, and he curses.

#mahoufiction #fanfic #fanfiction #bg3 #bg3 fanfiction #baldur's gate 3 #astarion romance #astarion x mc #astarion x tav #writing #astarion headcanons #mutual pining #astarion fic #bg3 spoilers #bg3 tav #bg3 astarion #tav #wet dream #fluff #oblivious idiots #poetry #maybe? #idk? #it's my first time posting smut #i read too much fanfiction

[imkaycurious]

a fun story I wrote speculating on the real reason behind football.

"King of My Heart"

In Taylor Swift's realm, her private life wove tales of mystery, crafting an enigmatic puzzle within her ever-evolving reputation. Travis Kelce, unwittingly drawn into her calculated performance, found himself entangled in her scripted narrative—an intentional commentary on her public relationships, nodding toward the upcoming "Reputation" album re-release.

Their convergence became an orchestrated spectacle, where Taylor employed her music both as disguise and revelation—a satire unraveling for astute observers, mirroring the exaggerated relationships depicted in her songs.

Taylor staged public sightings with Travis, scenes hinting at her "Reputation" motifs. She blurred reality and artistry, echoing lyrics through orchestrated events—a deliberate display, a dramatic prelude to her saga.

For instance, Travis's unwitting endorsements became cues in Taylor's choreography—a purposeful commentary, echoing the lines she teased: "But if he drops my name, then I owe him nothin'." His incessant references to Taylor across various platforms, from podcasts to magazines, became pivotal in Taylor's narrative direction. His continual mentions echoed the very lyrics she hinted at, weaving a crafted tapestry blurring reality with her lyrical themes.

Moreover, Taylor's actions mirrored her songwriting. For example, flying Travis to her Argentina show echoed her lyrics: "I fly him all around the world, letting them believe he saved me," turning reality into a nod to her songwriting prowess. Their public embrace further blurred the lines between her constructed narrative and lyrical parallels, intensifying the drama of her commentary on public relationships.

As Taylor's meticulously crafted story unfolded, some fans astutely noted parallels between her public maneuvers and lyrical excerpts from her songs. Inconsistencies, unlike her typical approach, began to surface. Lyrics spanning from her "Reputation" era to her most recent work hinted at a desire for discreet love, in stark contrast to the highly publicized relationship unfolding before their eyes.

While some fans detected these discrepancies, perceiving a deliberate divergence from Taylor's usual authenticity, others staunchly believed every facet of her public portrayal. For a segment of her audience, Taylor's actions remained sacrosanct, defending her relationship's authenticity despite inconsistencies. These fans staunchly supported Taylor's every move as genuine, failing to perceive any dissonance.

Amidst the meticulously crafted facade, Taylor harbored a deeply guarded secret—a truth obscured by the glittering illusion of her highly publicized relationships. Privately entwined in a profound and genuine love affair with a woman, Taylor grappled with the suffocating constraints of her fabricated public persona. Her retreat and subsequent emergence with the "Reputation" album had been a retreat into secrecy, shielding her true self from the scrutinizing gaze of the world.

The ostentatious relationships with men, seemingly exaggerated and fantastical, were elaborate veils woven to conceal her private reality. It was a paradoxical dance she performed—adorning herself with the allure of high-profile romances while safeguarding the most authentic aspect of her life in profound secrecy. Her heart yearned for liberation, a fervent longing to shed the pretense and embrace her genuine identity.

The "Reputation" album's reissue held the promise of emancipation, a glimpse of light at the end of the meticulously constructed tunnel. Taylor's hope rested on finally embracing her truth, relinquishing the suffocating weight of the charade, and stepping into the liberating embrace of authenticity.

Within the orchestrated theatrics of her public narrative, Taylor maneuvered a grand chessboard, each move calculated and strategic. Travis, unwittingly thrust into the spotlight, played the role of a pawn—a mere piece in her elaborate game of perception. He moved according to her plan, a maneuver in her intricate strategy, while Taylor meticulously positioned herself for the ultimate conquest.

The parallels to chess intricately woven within Taylor's music, performances, and subtle references paid silent homage to the covert game she orchestrated. The song "King of My Heart" whispered of a concealed love, shrouded behind lyrical intricacies—a love not for the pawn but for the ultimate prize, the king of her heart.

Travis, portrayed as the unwitting pawn in her scripted drama, unknowingly played his part in Taylor's masterful game. While the world fixated on his movements, he was a mere piece in Taylor's grand strategy—a strategy ultimately seeking the capture of her most guarded secret, her true love.

#kaylor #bearding #the pr of it all #mastermind