#or writing goodbyes letters

[ghouljams]

Working on the ranch can't last forever. Gaz and Soap get their orders to return to the field. One of them breaks the news as soon as they get it, the other... not so much. Here's Cowboy!Gaz angst.

You stare at Kyle’s placating smile across the table, his thumb rubs over your knuckles, fingers tight as they hold yours. The devil, you think, he’s the devil. How can he do this to you? 

You stand from your seat, hear the clatter of the chair behind you without really hearing it, and turn for the door. You shouldn’t be upset, you hardly know the man, but he’s managed to creep past every one of your walls and make a home for himself in your heart. You knew you should’ve run, it’s always smart to run when you start getting visions of white dresses. You don’t run now. You stalk, stride purposefully, to the door and push at it. It doesn’t open. You push again with frustration, smack your hand against the damned thing and try not to scream at an inanimate object. Kyle’s warm hand reaches past you and pulls it open. 

“Let me,” He says quietly. You ball your fists and grit your teeth, shoulder past the partially open door and into the Texas sun. It’s childish to ignore him like this but you don’t care. You are childish, it’s why you’re so good with children, you know what it’s like to want to kick and scream when you don’t get your way. You cross your arms over your chest, hug yourself for comfort as you walk down the street. 

“Birdie, please,” Kyle follows after you, “I got the order, I can’t just ignore it.”

Of course not. You know that. There are enough military families in town for you to know the drill. For you to see the rotation of leave and tour, the ebb and flow of population. Why would you think yours would be any different? Because he didn’t tell you. You’d assumed his work at the ranch was just that, his work. You got so caught up in the excitement of a new… whatever this was, that you’d forgotten every foot that’s ever stepped on that damn ranch is clothed in tactical gear. 

Kyle grabs your arm before you can turn a corner and start making your way back home in earnest. “Talk to me,” He pleads, his eyes searching yours for any hint at what you both know you’re thinking. You don’t want to, you want to walk until you can’t walk anymore. You want to tire your body out so your emotions don’t have anything to hold onto. “Come on, doll, talk to me,” He tries again, brows drawn low. You’d almost think this hurts him as much as it’s hurting you.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” You grit out, shaking him off to keep walking. 

“Bird-”

“No,” You turn on him, “My friends get to call me that, you do not call me that, Kyle Garrick. You-” His eyes shine as he lets you yell, his mouth set, jaw clenched. You’re struck again by the fact that you hardly know this man as the wind leaves your sails. You don’t know his birthday or his coffee order, you don’t know what he calls his mom or why he joined the military in the first place. You don’t know what he looks like when he’s swallowing his emotions, but you imagine it might look something like this.

You don’t know why you imagined time with him, why you’d thought you had months, years, to learn about him. You can’t speak to why his leaving makes you feel like you’re losing a piece of yourself you didn’t even know was there to begin with. Kyle doesn’t waste his breath saying things he doesn’t think are important. He told you he was leaving because he thought you’d want to know, hell maybe he wanted you to know. Maybe he didn’t want to just leave you without an explanation or a phone number.

“I’m sorry,” He says, and you feel tears push at the back of your eyes, your throat tight, “I wish I could’ve told you sooner.”

“How long will you be gone?” You ask. He shakes his head, he either doesn’t know or can’t tell you. You swallow and nod, let him pull you against his chest and wrap his arms around you. “Okay,” You lean into him, feel him kiss the top of your head. There isn’t anything you can do to stop the wheels already in motion.

“I’ll be back,” He promises, it’s a hollow comfort. It’s as good as you’re going to get.

“Can I call you? While you’re-” While you’re off getting shot at. You don’t want to say it, but you think the feeling carries.

“Of course,” He reassures you, “and you’ll come see me off, right?”

“Obviously,” You hug him tight, he’s as sturdy as always but it does little to comfort you. You want to ask him to stay. You have no right to ask him to stay. You have no way to make him stay. You hardly know him.

#cod x reader #x reader #kyle garrick mw2 #kyle garrick x oc #kyle garrick x reader #kyle garrick #kyle gaz garrick #gaz x oc #gaz x reader #gaz modern warfare #cowboy!Gaz #Birdie has her class write letters to Gaz so he ends up getting huge fucking care packages #we are gonna circle back to some of their dates before this happens #but I've been thinking about it so much #Soap's goodbye is a little harder #because moon is not very emotionally forthcoming

[letterful]

— CANDY DARLING, from a letter written shortly before her death from lymphoma at age 29.

#i highly recommend reading her published diaries & letters; she was such a beautiful & vibrant soul that was taken much too soon. #(& with so much love to give! it shines through even in her very last writings; 'i wish i could meet all of you again' / 'goodbye for now') #but yes; i think about it (& about her) every time i listen to the velvet underground album.

[softpine]

"God carved something out of my chest. Maybe he hid it in some corner of the universe and I’m supposed to find it somehow" y'all mind if I just 😭😭😭 I love Finn his story is so heartbreaking I'm glad he has Asa or that they have eachother. The idea of them always finding eachother, that they know something is missing is so beautiful. Do you ever just cry at your own writing? You've written some really beautiful stuff

thank you so much 🥺 i don't think i'm a very technically good writer, so my goal has never been to write the most eloquent prose, but i like to think i'm good at capturing emotions. at the very least, it makes ME feel something jfkjsds but i don't usually get emotional about my own story until i'm seeing the final product. there's so much time and effort that leads up to each scene, with the writing, scene setting, pose making / posing, taking screenshots, editing, etc. that it's kind of impossible to immerse myself. but when i read through the final scene, i can take the time to really feel it for what it is.

i think i've only cried (like actual tears) once that i can remember...? it was this scene, because i listened to do not let your spirit wane on repeat long enough for it to STILL be my most listened to song on spotify. so... i was really feeling my emotions that day lmao. sometimes i'll just be sitting around doing nothing and finn's face in this scene pops into my brain and i'm like 🥹 and asa running like that sjfkjsd it's a top 10 post for me

#plus it's such a concise representation of each of their personalities #asa will literally give a stranger the shoes off his feet while finn's circumstances have lead him to survive every man for himself #but there's no judgement passed by either of them. they understand each other so well and even admire their differences #ANYWAY #i feel like i must have cried over caroline at some point it's just been so long i can't remember when #wait no that's a lie. i for sure cried while writing her goodbye letter #again because of a song (caroline goodbye by colin blunstone! the most fitting song ever) #asks #anonymous #nonsims #brandi answers

[mysicklove]

every time u post about daddy Nanami I start teeheeing like an anime girl

i am literally in my nanami era he makes me blush and giggle and squeal annd ieurhfeiurfiuhridwiendiwe i crave him so much

#💌 - love letters #lazia darling #writing a drabble of giving him head rn GOODBYE LMAOAOOA

[lettersfrom-s]

You will always be a lesson I wish I didn’t have to learn.

— Letters from S

#letters from s #words of heartbreak #writing #goodbye #i love you #dont you miss me #i miss you #heartbreak #love #poetry #spilled ink #love hurts

[st4rry-fruitz]

im gonna be sick Why did foolish have to write a goodbye letter to cellbit im in shambles

#qsmp #qsmp members stop writing goodbye letters to each other challenge

[mediocrefruitlover]

Goodbye goodbye goodbye you were bigger than the whole sky 😭😭

Trent crimm babyboy I will miss you so much. I'll rewatch the show and read angsty, fluffy, smutty fanfics about you but I will still miss you and your magnificent hair and your sassy outfits and that stupid fucking mug 💙💙💙

#one of my favourite characters ever! #if i had the energy I'd write a full goodbye letter to this beautiful man #trent crimm #ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers

[ask-the-totally-real-peppino]

Why's everyone gotta put all the attention on werewolves? Where's the love for bull peppino or even catboy peppino?!?! They need attention too!!!

(People are furries, I guess (lighthearted)

But really I do not know! Even tho he won that poll ages ago, Bull Peppino got like one ask (which was an M!A, so I save those for the story) and Catboy Peppino got no love lfdldf

I would like to draw them more (yes, even werepino), but getting spammed with just 'more more more' very much soured that, unfortunately)

#ooc post #it also helps to actually like send things for them to doing or questions to answer #also if people were much less pushy about it and using all caps/huge ass lettering I may be more inclined to draw them #but probably not now I still have clones on the brain #I did not spend the last... #4 hours writing clone lore/biology to help folks make their clones!!! #it's like making a species sheet like it's fuckin 2018 again #but if it helps someone I will be happy!!! #and I get to infodump again hehe #and draw more clones #more oddball ones this time since many have been pretty standard so far #well as standard as you can get for weird dough people with animal parts jlkflfd #okay I must go goodbye!!!

[thesewordsaremymusings]

“And the funny thing is I could have spent forever, sending you clandestine letters and the sad things is, I probably still will.”

-m.n. | “I don’t like writing about you, but my heart won’t let me stop doing it.”

#spilled ink #mn #spilled thoughts #excerpt from a book i'll never write #spilled words #excerpt from a story i'll never write #new poets on tumblr #poetry #poets on tumblr #spilled #deathbyathousandcuts #dbatc #saying goodbye #spiilled ink #spilled prose #spilled truth #spilled heart #clandestine letters #unrequited quotes #unrequited poem #unrequited love #unrequited feelings #spilled writing #every time I write about you I tell myself it is the last time

[carcarrot]

well everyone now that sparkstember is over i can now devote my energy to being insane in other still sparks-related ways

#planning my next projects #on the one hand glad to not have to get a whole video done in the span of like 2 hours every day #on the other hand it was a fun creative challenge that gave me a sense of purpose. it was fun #but i need to keep myself busy as we descend into winter and ✨seasonal depression✨ #if i dont get it done today over the next couple days im going to make something silly for goofball's upcoming birthday #and then once that's done i dont know. i want to get back to work on my screenplay and try to FINISH IT!! but idk how long that'll take #i also have to finally finish watching that film course i bought oops. maybe ill start it over #and then????????? #i have a vague Idea of a possible short film i could make. that would also be like a kind of prequel to my Main Film Idea #and its something i could actually reasonably do as a short film and its not like insanely big budget like every other idea i have is #and I'm debating abt emailing my old film teacher and being like heyyyyy maybe you could help me make this short film???? #but id want to have this idea way more planned out and written before then. but OUGH WRITING ANOTHER SCREENPLAY??? #WHEN I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED MY FIRST ONE??? sigh. #the road to making my Big Great Movie is long and arduous. will we get there. who knows #oh also debating abt writing a letter to those silly guys. but i don't knowwwww #OH lmao i keep forgetting to mention i finally got my passport (it actually came earlier than expected) #so like. goodbye everyone im heading to the sydney opera house on halloween (JOKE i am not that insane. but i wish i could)

[tragedykery]

I should. probably find a way to sit while doing calligraphy/lettering that doesn’t completely fuck up my back bc this is uhm. not ideal

#wanted to pracise my hobbit-style lettering (which I taught myself a few days ago by mimicking somebody else’s work I found here on tumblr #then giving it my own twist. ​did so while I should have been studying. naturally) by writing down the summary of my favourite fic of my own #(the mai.lee ‘ty lee says goodbye to mai before she runs away to the circus’ one) #it was fun but Oh am I feeling the consequences of my actions #elli rambles #like girlie you literally already have chronic back pain why do you do this to yourself…

[heartstringsandbrokenthings]

in between goodnights and goodbyes,

stuck in our little pauses of uncertainty,

when it’s you and me,

and it’s finally time to hang up.

but we don’t.

“you know that pause? you know what that pause is right??”

“i know”

“what is it?”

“tell me”

“it’s the hesitation from saying i love you. i want to tell you i love you every night. i want to tell you i love you every day. i want to tell you i love you right now”

“so, doesn’t this mean what we have been feeling for so long is worth taking our chances on?”

moments where i think,

the world might fall apart without us

— S

#conversations #you #love #spilled ink #the things he says #thestoryikeepwriting #loving #falling for you #unrequited love #goodnight #spilled words #words n stuff #lovers #excerpt from a story i'll never write #goodbyes #him #love letters #words of mine #loving you #letters to him #love story #us #loving someone #excerpts from my life

[lettersfrom-s]

Looking back now, it’s hard to believe there was a time I truly thought I’d never get over you.

— Letters from S

#letters from s #words of heartbreak #writing #healing #goodbye #i love you #dont you miss me #heartbreak #i miss you #love #poetry #heartbroken quotes #spilled thoughts #love quotes #relationships #late night thoughts #closure