#or with Spencer when he's sad and she's being the BEST friend and starting her 'cheer Spencer' plan with that line

[the-au-thor]

Hi!! I have a request for a Spencer Reid x fem reader!!

Can you do something like reader also works at the BAU and they both are in love with each other but have never said anything, and Spencer goes on a date or flirts with a girl when the team is out at a bar or something and reader gets sad and jealous. She like leaves cause she’s annoyed and angry. And Spencer is confused why she’s upset? And eventually confronts her and this leads to feelings being revealed and it ends in cute fluff??

Hey hun, hope you're having a great time! I am a sucker for friends-to-lovers and jealous friends motifs. Thanks for the request. I wrote something, I hope you like it, I wrote it last night cause I couldn't sleep.

The Secret Game and the shy Girl | Spencer reid x fem!Reader

Word: 1.6 k

Warning: Typical cm topics. Nothing gore

Caliope's Bar was bustling. It was surprisingly calm for a bar; usually, it was packed, but people calmly occupied the tables, enjoying dinner with a couple of beers or fancier drinks. The karaoke didn't start until around 10, and the dance floor opened at midnight. Spencer didn't stay until that late hour; he usually left with you when you stepped down from the small stage, carefully placing your electroacoustic guitar on its stand.

In Quantico, it was no secret that you loved music. While your father was a retired cop, your mother had been a talented backup singer in Las Vegas before becoming a nurse. They inevitably passed on their interests to you, ensuring you couldn't escape the excitement whenever you had the chance to sing and let others listen. Although the fact that you sang at that bar had been a secret for a while.

Today was a special day, not just because it was the day of the week you came here and had the courage to play the guitar and sing a couple of songs for half an hour, but also because it was the celebration of your adoption. When you first arrived at the BAU, you were so shy that you could barely speak more than two words. You usually approached Hotchner and whispered your thoughts on each case, avoiding verbalizing them in front of the entire team. After a while, you recognized that Hotch had shown you a lot of patience, as had the rest of your colleagues and friends. The truth was that Hotch had identified in you resilience, talent, and a strong sense of ethics; he just needed you to believe you could do more than the office work you were used to in your previous job in the cybercrime department. That's why he asked Spencer to help you; both had a lot in common, being young and somewhat socially awkward, but Spencer had been in Quantico much longer, and Hotchner knew he could help you break out of your shell. To be honest, Spencer would have helped you even if Hotchner hadn't asked; he had observed how challenging it was for you to adapt to the team and the enormous effort it took for you to go out into the field and chase psychopaths. As their friendship grew, so did Spencer's admiration for you, discovering new facets of your personality that you struggled to reveal. It took a year for Spencer to learn about your adoption, and another year for the team to find out and want to be part of that celebration. By the third and fourth years in the BAU, that tradition had become much more organic and easier for you, someone whose sociometer didn't allow too many social commitments.

There was a night in your first year as a BAU member when Spencer followed you out of childlike curiosity from the offices to Caliope's bar. He didn't expect to find you singing a song by The Carpenters under a dim spotlight, but there you were. After your performance, with flushed cheeks and trembling like jelly, you introduced Caliope, the owner of the place and your best friend, and made him swear to keep the secret. Spencer respected that; every time you decided to open up to the team, it was on your own terms, and Spencer knew you would be comfortable when the time came to share those little details in your life that made you special.

Both remembered that conversation after you stepped down from the stage that night.

"Hey, hey," Caliope stopped you from the counter. "The Carpenters?" she asked, raising an eyebrow as she handed you a chamomile tea in a recyclable mug.

You accepted it nodding.

"Uh, yeah. It's my parents' favorite band. Does it sound bad?"

Caliope vehemently denied.

"Not at all."

Taking your second sip of tea, you raised it with a smile.

"Thanks for the free tea. You do know I don't play here for free food, right?" you asked.

Caliope raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Oh, no queenie" she denied using the nickname she had given you since she met you "Not today. This is an invitation from the curious not ugly man who's been watching you since you arrived"

You turned, surprised, following Caliope's gaze, and found — not just eyes — but Spencer Reid's eyes surrounded by a purple scarf around his neck, sitting elegantly and eccentrically at the farthest table in the bar. Then, you sent him a serious look that Caliope immediately caught.

"Should I call the police?" she hesitated clumsily.

You shook your head.

"No, it's the police" then you smiled to reassure her " I know him."

You walked towards Spencer, seeing him somewhat nervous, as if guilty of eating the last cookie from the bag.

"Good performance up there" he greeted." I didn't know you could sing"

You observed him in silence and shook your head slowly.

"I hadn't told anyone at work. It's just a hobby..." you stammered "...What are you doing here?"

Spencer looked a bit more nervous, then fiddled with one of the laces of his converse while looking at the ground.

"I..." then his voice almost disappeared "... I followed you because I was going to suggest we could take the subway together since we both go the same But then I got curious about where you were going. I promise when I saw you enter the cafe, I thought, 'Okay. She's in a safe place. This is when I leave'" he looked at you honestly "And then I liked the place, and I thought it would probably be good to run into you and say it was just a coincidence."

That caught you by surprise. That didn't sound like Spencer at all. Not knowing what to say, you looked at your chamomile tea and heard Spencer clear his throat.

"Yeah. Since it's late, I thought something caffeine and theine-free would be much better"

You nodded at Spencer's explanation and silently sipped the infusion.

"It's true. It is"

You saw him press his lips with discomfort, and something seemed to bother him.

"Please don't be bothered by this. I never do this, really. I understand we are also colleagues. And now I feel like I intruded into your private life"

You interrupted.

" First, no. Except for Callie over there, I have no friends. And second, please, don't keep justifying it because it somehow makes it worse" you paused and smiled, not really feeling the smile, but trying to be friendly " I have to go home. Don't worry about this"

You said your goodbyes and left the place with your hands buried in the pockets of your jacket.

"Wait. I'm really sorry" you heard him behind you.

"You've already said that!" you replied without turning to him, while you continued walking.You heard his steps behind you diminish until he reached your side.

"Seriously. I didn't mean to intrude — he said, gently wrapping his arm around yours.Both stopped, and you recoiled, almost as a natural reaction, making Spencer take a step back and let go of you. That obviously surprised him, but he didn't say anything.

"It doesn't matter now. It's not a state secret. Just, what? did you discover that I play the guitar and sing decently? That's it. Seriously" you kept walking, and Spencer decided to accompany your steps.

"I'm your friend"

That statement stopped you in your tracks. You looked directly into his eyes with a surprised look.

"What?"

"Yeah. You're my friend. That's how I see you," he clarified almost shyly. "Although friends don't keep secrets, but we can work on that," he said with so much confidence that you could feel the walls around you crumbling.

After that, Spencer suggested the plan of revealing a secret from time to time, even if it was tiny and of little importance. He never pressured you, though, and that made you feel safe. A couple of months ago, you had managed to tell your team about your hobby when you announced that Caliope had offered you a table with free snacks and drinks for the anniversary of your adoption, and everyone was invited.

You had been adopted at the age of 12, which meant you had spent much of your life in foster home and temporary homes with guardians who had accepted you more for government benefits than out of a kind and giving heart. You knew that was the main reason why your shyness was a huge personal enemy. When your parents adopted you, you came to your new home with many reservations. What kind of people adopt an almost teenager when they could easily adopt a baby and raise it without all the traumas and problems you carried? You had been in therapy because you couldn't speak more than two words in a sentence, and you brought with you a bunch of deeply ingrained habits that you no longer had to carry out; your parents genuinely loved you and wouldn't send you back to the orphanage for breaking a plate or not making your bed perfectly. Although you had created a connection with them and felt comfortable around them, it was still difficult for you to interact with the world. Your parents made an effort to plan barbecues with your father's entire police department and instill in you the confidence to earn your own money and step out of your comfort zone. That helped you take risks; you went to college in a place far from New York at Caltech, then joined the FBI, and suddenly you found yourself in a job interview at Hotchner's office. You had been alone, and the weight of the sudden responsibility that your job required hit your shoulders hard; you had no idea, however, that Spencer Reid would be right by your side all the time to make that weight lighter.

Obviously, you would fall in love with him.

Due to your history, it was difficult for you to give your heart a chance to risk feeling something for a guy, and because of your personality, it was difficult for a guy to even get close to you and decide to be your friend. Spencer broke those walls and also built a bridge for the rest of the team to cross and get to know you.

You had let him in; he helped you with your little aversion to kids. You went from feeling terribly uncomfortable with them to not knowing how you could live without Henry and Mike. He knew about your fascination with compost and Californian worms without thinking for a minute that it was disgusting and that you were a weirdo. He had even entered your kitchen and followed every instruction from the recipe book your mother had given you but that you had never used because you were very bad at cooking.In retrospect, you opened the doors of your life, your mind, and practically let him into your heart with a welcoming committee.

And it was so damn painful. Especially because he was beautiful, brilliant in more ways than intellectual, and an excellent match, and even if he didn't realize it, other girls did. And the frustrating part was that you were all too aware of the female attention he received.

"Listen; no talking about work tonight," Penelope threatened from her seat while urgently drinking a piña colada through a straw.

You had stepped down from the stage a few minutes ago and sat at the table with your friends. You had mare your own version of "Child Of Mine," the anthem your parents had decided to dedicate to you and the song that had become your favorite since then.

"Olivia, Deacon," Will drew your parents' attention as he hugged J.J from his neck. "A couple of days ago, we celebrated Henry's birthday. Do you know what he asked for as a gift?"

"From your expression, I'm going to guess it wasn't a scale model train," Derek, Who couldn't attend to the party replied with a curious expression.

Will raised a half-smile and shook his head.

"It wasn't a scale model train or an animatronic dinosaur, no."

"It was a gardening and composting kit," J.J answered, making your parents laugh.

"He spent half an hour lecturing us on the structure of a cocoon," Emily drank from her drink and looked at the ceiling. "Ah, I just wanted to eat cake," she recalled, also reminiscing about her frustration, making you laugh.

"I think we owe that to our dear girl here," Rossi pointed to you with his glass and proceeded to make his traditional toast.

Spencer watched your cheeks change color to a nervous pink and lower your gaze, causing your lashes to brush your cheekbones.

He knew why those little bugs fascinated you so much; daily they did essential work for the ecosystem that no one saw and laid thousands of tiny eggs protected by a cocoon that enveloped them until they were ready to hatch. Those characteristics made you unconsciously identify with them.

His eyes studied you from top to bottom, enjoying the microscopic reactions that only he, because he knew you so well, could see, and he felt somewhat overwhelmed. Lately, this happened to him frequently; he even considered getting medical exams again to check that everything was fine. Maybe he just needed to lift himself a bit.

"Pizza and strawberry juice?" He offered, knowing that under no circumstances would you drink alcohol.You looked up at him as the rest listened to your father tell a story from his years in the police.

"I can go, don't worry," Spencer said.

"Spencer, I can do it, it's not a problem" you replied.

Spencer raised a small smile and unconsciously, for a brief moment, placed his hand on yours.

"No problem as well, I'll go order and be back in a minute," he promised and quickly walked to the counter where your friend was talking to a few clients.

You watched his back with a somewhat lost look. You repeated to yourself over and over that you had to try to see yourself as he did: his friend, nothing more.

Of course, your emotions had decided something completely different.

You averted your gaze from Spencer and decided to make an effort to engage in the conversation at the table to distract yourself for a while. The "minute" turned into half an hour, and then you realized Spencer still hadn't returned with the juice and slice of pizza he had promised you. You searched for him throughout the bar until you found him at Caliope's counter, confidently pulling a coin from the ear of a fascinated girl sitting there.

The elegantly shaped woman, sporting heels that only accentuated her already lengthy legs, held a martini in one hand and had Spencer's full attention in the other. He animatedly spoke to her, occasionally touching a strand of her hair while asking her questions about something that seemed to greatly excite him.

You observed yourself, feeling overly aware of all your flaws and the fact that, of course, Spencer wasn't by your side at the moment. He was too busy performing his coin trick again with the unknown woman.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, feeling a tight knot in your stomach, pulling your guts, remembering the scene you just wanted to escape from. Spencer was charming, and when he talked about something that interested him, his eyes shone and magnetized the area, so much that there was no other option but to gravitate around him, unable to deny him attention. This time was no exception; Spencer's charisma stealing the attention of the captivating woman with a perfect impeccable smile.

Jealousy, like an unexpected storm, seized your veins, pulling at them and tensing your body. Involuntary glances towards Spencer and the captivating brunette revealed your internal turmoil. Spencer's subtle flirting gestures turned into a vivid picture, leaving an indelible mark on you.

Panic surged through you; you were at a table full of profilers, your parents being the best in the field, even though they had never studied it, but they would analyze you perfectly because they just knew you that good. They would read you; you had to leave there quickly before they noticed, and could only feel pity for you.

"I'll get some fresh air," you whispered confidently to your mom.

She knew that social situations easily drained you, so she wouldn't suspect. You stood up, trying to appear natural, and walked away from the scene that systematically broke your heart, making you want to confront Spencer even though he owed you nothing. He was single, and you were just his best friend.

You took a deep breath once outside, running your fingers through your hair, trying not to lose your composure. You had to leave, right? Invent an excuse; a stomach virus or something. You could pretend something like that without them realizing you were faking. You just had to seem convinced.

Outside, the air was cold in contrast to the boiling emotions within you. You tried to calm yourself, and when you thought you had succeeded, you turned to re-enter the bar, only to collide with Spencer, who was hurrying out with a concerned look that didn't relax until his eyes met yours.

"Are you okay? You left in a hurry, and I got worried," he said.

You bit the inside of your cheek, but that didn't stop you from responding with too much harshness, "I'm fine. I just needed some air. I'm surprised you noticed me leave; you seemed very comfortable."

Spencer looked surprised. You had never spoken to him like that, and he couldn't find a logical reason for it.

"Comfortable? What are you talking about?"

You lowered your gaze. Of course, Spencer Reid wouldn't be aware of his own flirting.

"With the girl at the bar. You left for a slice of pizza and didn't come back" That seemed to make Spencer piece together part of the puzzle, and he genuinely looked embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I just got distracted."

You wanted to yell at him and drag him away from the bar, but instead, you muttered an almost emotionless "ah."

"I'm sorry for lingering at the bar."

"You know? I think the fresh air hasn't done anything. I must have caught a virus or something. I'll get my things," you excused yourself, knowing you couldn't have acted less convincingly.

"Maybe it's just fatigue. Let's go for your pizza, and you'll see that you'll feel better," he said with a repentant tone.

You shook your head without looking at him.

"No, no. It's not that. Seriously, don't worry. Go back to the girl, and I..." you took a difficult breath, searching for air, "You go back to the girl, and I'll get my things."

Concerned, he might have sworn he saw tears starting to well up in your eyes, triggering alarms inside him. What was happening?

"What? No! I'll take you home. I'm done with her anyway."

That made you feel nauseous. What did that mean? He had finished talking because they had exchanged numbers, and he no longer needed to keep charming her, treating her like a human ATM. He could charm her on their upcoming date, or...?You furrowed your brow.

"You're done with her?"

"Yes. She's a friend of Caliope. She joked about adding a magic show to the bar nights, and her friend asked me to teach her the coin trick to use it to get a date."

You blinked, stunned by that revelation, and looked up at Spencer, who wore the most innocent expression a man of his age could have. That made you forget your distress for a few seconds.

"Spencer..." you called him, "she was just flirting with you."

He blinked quickly, confused. "No, she..."

"She asked you to teach her a trick to flirt because she was flirting with you," you clarified, realizing that all this time Spencer was genuinely teaching a trick to an unknown girl while she genuinely thought she was doing a good job of flirting with him.

That simple explanation seemed to have a clarifying effect on Spencer. His cheeks turned slightly pink. Surely, he felt like a fool.

But here, the only fool was you. You had fallen in love with your best friend and had made a scene of jealousy without justification. What's worse, even though Spencer wasn't interested in the stranger this time, someday, someone who capture his attention would appear, someone he would want to be with. You would have to step back and watch as your best friend, the love of your life, was happy with someone else. You would lose him before even have him for a stranger who he would love dearly. You didn't know if you could bear it.

Spencer observed your face, almost able to imagine all the gears turning inside you. You looked upset and embarrassed. He wondered what you could possibly be thinking. He knew you well and had never seen you so distressed. You didn't want to look him in the eyes, and you weren't sure if you could handle that.No. He needed to fix whatever he had ruined so that you would look at him again with your precious eyes. He saw your guilty expression and accusatory gaze, and then something suddenly clicked. Spencer's heart took a sudden leap.

"Don't tell me I missed the story of your adoption. It's my favorite."

You shook your head, grateful that Spencer changed the subject, but your masochistic side wanted him to keep investigating. That would be the only way Spencer would know how you truly felt.

"No, Dad was telling eberybody the story when he discovered a drug cartel operating in an abandoned gym.

"Spencer nodded in silence, genuinely relieved. "Great. I love the story of your adoption, especially because your dad always adds a new detail."

You shook your head. "I'm sure he makes them up," you replied with a half-smile.

Spencer chuckled. "Whatever. He's good at telling stories," he said, seeing you sigh and nod slowly.

"Yeah, he is. Let's go inside," you said gently. "Maybe we're still in time to hear some of his new creative liberties."

You made a smooth move, but Spencer didn't release his grip on your arm. Instead, he held you with a little more firmness, earning one of your confused looks.

"Hey. A secret of mine for one of yours," he used the phrase he always used to get you to open up and confide something you wanted to tell him but couldn't find a way to.

You furrowed your brow."I... have nothing to—"

"Okay, how about this? I'll tell you my secret first."

You furrowed your brow with curiosity, still confused about what Spencer wanted to achieve with all this. So you nodded to understand.

Spencer looked directly at you. "I think you don't have a virus, and instead, you felt jealous."

Your cheeks turned red, and mortified, you just wanted to disappear.

"Spencer," you pleaded, closing your eyes in embarrassment, "please, let's go inside."

Spencer pressed his lips with excitement, feeling his heartbeats so strongly he could almost hear them in his ear. His hand traveled to your chin, touching your soft skin and directing your face towards him.

You resisted opening your eyes, and you seemed genuinely affected.

"Wait, I haven't finished telling you my secret," you moved away from him almost abruptly, trying to escape from that situation with the least possible damage. He called your name, trying to stop you.

You turned towards him, the tip of your nose beginning to blush; the first symptom that you might soon cry, and he wanted to clarify the situation before it got worse.

"No, Spencer. I won't stay here to hear something I don't need you to say."

He sighed. "Please, angel, just... trust me."

For some reason, that request broke your heart, and the irrational fear that you would leave there with his feelings hurt tore you apart inside. But he looked at you pleadingly, and the gentleness of his request broke down your protective barrier. You didn't say anything, but you didn't leave, so Spencer took it as a green light to keep talking.

"I wasn't flirting with her. Seriously. And I'll tell you why; here's the secret," he took a step towards you but still wasn't close enough. He seemed nervous but didn't hesitate for a second when the next words left his mouth, "I can't flirt with anyone else because the only person I want to do it with is you."

That revelation left you completely stunned. Your lips parted in surprise, and nothing came out of your mouth for a couple of long seconds.

"I... you," you murmured, unable to believe that he had actually said that, "don't joke with me," you pleaded in a thin voice.

He shook his head seriously, and it seemed like he hadn't finished telling you the secret because he kept talking.

"And I want to flirt with you because the truth and the secret are that I love you."

And yes, that's how a person falls apart, piece by piece. Your chest felt too small for your heart, which seemed to be growing inevitably inside you.

It wasn't possible that he had actually said that. He watched you at the same safe distance and raised his eyebrows, hoping you would say something, hope filtering through his gaze.

"Do you have any secrets to tell me?"You looked down at the pavement, not sure if you could move. Your feet were anchored to the ground, and finally, you nodded, trying to find the strength to speak.

"Yes," you admitted, adjusting your hair and clearing your throat as you tried to maintain a pose and say more than one word, "yes, I have a secret," you clarified, looking directly into his eyes with a burst of courage, "I also want you to flirt with me, and-and flirt with you," you blinked rapidly, "because I've been in love with you for a long time now, and I really don't know what to do with that."

Spencer watched you slowly with studious slowness, and finally, a satisfied little smile appeared on his face, slowly rising and with a mischievous glint in his eyes. He approached you, circling your lower back, and his breath collided with you.

"I do know what to do," he replied confidently, and then closed the remaining centimeters that separated you to give you a kiss that both had waited a long time to happen.

The kiss carried a quiet intensity, as if time stood still for both of them. Spencer's tenderness was a silent promise that he was willing to navigate through your complexities with patience and care. His touch, a soothing balm, erased the doubts that had persisted in the shadows of your mind for the past few years.

Upon parting, the street seemed to exhale a collective sigh. Spencer's gaze radiated a newly discovered warmth, and you, with your heart echoing the unspoken feelings, realized that sometimes, in the simplicity of a kiss, truths could be expressed more eloquently than words. The night air carried the weight of that shared revelation, and under the embrace of the lamppost light, Spencer and you looked at each other breathlessly.

"I think we're really missing my father's story right now," you whispered, raising your hand to Spencer's face at last, satisfying your eternal hunger to touch him.

He smiled, taking your hand and kissing your palm affectionately.

"With all due respect; right now, I'm writing one just as good as his," he said, making you laugh, "you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

You felt your cheeks warming.

"Oh, stop," you asked, but he made no promises as he took your hand and began to walk towards the bar "Now let's go for your pizza, I guess your virus left as quickly as it came."

You sighed.

"How brave" you replied, but you moved closer to his side and nestled into him as he wrapped his arm around you.

He would keep you by his side, keep you by his side for the rest of his life.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #friends to lovers #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x jealous! reader #criminal minds au #spencer reid au

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

I Can See You | Spencer Reid

Add yourself to my taglist! | Here’s my masterlist!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: When Penelope's best friend comes to help out the BAU on a couple of cases, there's an immediate connection with the youngest of the team. After longing glances, soft touches and wild fantasies, the truth comes out accidentally. What is the resident genius going to do with that information?

Warnings: mention of serial killers and bombings, inappropriate thoughts

Author's note: I've wanted to write this one every single time I listened to the song but when @pastanest wrote it first, I was scared to do it too because that one is just too good (read it here)!! Anyways, hope y'all like this one, too :)

Words: 3K

Being Penelope Garcia’s best friend came with a lot of perks. Aside from it being impossible to ever be sad around her, it also came with the perk of doing the odd job at Quantico. We had met during her days as the Black Queen online and ever since, she had taught me all she knew about hacking and tech analysis. While she worked for the FBI, I worked across the yard at the Capitol as tech support. 

Her job was a little more tantalizing – sometimes more traumatizing – than mine. While I simply helped the employees with their technical issues, Penelope actually helped save people. 

And sometimes, she called for my help with a case whenever she figured everything would go so much faster with some helping hands and flexible fingers. 

The first time she had called me on a case, I didn’t even know what I was in for. She just told me to get to Quantico as soon as I possibly could, that it was a matter of life and death. So, I packed everything up, and rushed across the street to the FBI building. I didn’t even bother to tell my boss. I was certain Penelope’s boss would vouch for me and get me out of trouble, even though I had  never met him. 

“Thank you so much for coming, y/n/n,” said Penelope as she took me into a hug as soon as I burst through the front doors and into the hallway. 

“Penny, what’s happening? Are you okay?” I asked and held her at a short distance to inspect her for any injuries. 

She waved away my question. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she said and grabbed my hand to drag me towards reception where I had to register. It wasn’t until after my bag had been inspected and I passed through security that she started to explain what was happening. “We’re working on this really tough case and though my dainty fingers are quick at tip tapping away on the keyboard, I’m gonna need your genius to get me the answers twice as fast.” 

On the way up to the sixth floor, she briefed me about the case, just so I was up to speed before we actually started. I was too distracted listening to her rambles that I didn’t even notice another person rushing through the hallway on our way from the elevators to her office. 

My shoulder bumped into theirs, causing me to stumble ever so slightly, but firm hands on my shoulders kept me from actually falling. “Oof, sorry!” The both of us apologized at the same time. 

What I didn’t expect to happen when I looked up at the person was being so taken aback by the beautiful pair of eyes that locked onto mine. The hazel orbs had tiny gold specks in them, making them look almost honey-colored. 

I was so distracted by his eyes, I didn’t catch Penelope’s mischievous smirk she would only get whenever she had expertly set me up with someone when we were out at a bar or a party. 

“Y/N/N, this is my wonderful colleague and resident genius, Spencer Reid. Reid, this is my almost-as-sexy-and-smart-as-me best friend, y/n y/l/n,” she introduced us as the guy – Spencer – retracted his hands from my shoulders, convinced I was steady enough on my feet. 

He offered me a smile that nearly wiped me off my feet again. “Hi, nice to meet you.” 

My lips curled into a smile that mirrored his. He didn’t offer his hand to shake, so I decided not to offer mine, either. “Ditto, Spencer,” I said instead, unable to tear my eyes away from his. 

“Okay,” Penelope then interrupted, “Enough chit-chat. We gotta go!” As I managed a quick wave at Spencer, my best friend pulled me along to her office where we settled behind her computer screens. While she explained how her system worked, my mind involuntarily drifted off to the disarming genius I met in the hallway. 

For hours, Penelope and I worked on the case together, taking turns in getting drinks and food to keep us nutritioned. We were discussing a list of potential UnSubs after we had finished our lunch and I was chewing on the straw of my Sprite when Spencer burst into the room. 

“Garcia, y/l/n, I’ve got something to narrow the search,” he said, causing my heart to flutter at how my last name sounded from his lips. He leaned between us, placing a piece of paper on the desk. His stomach was pressed against my shoulder whilst his arm brushed mine. 

A chill ran down my spine, but I remained poised, trying to be professional. “Those are the places he went to in the last twenty-four hours?” I asked, deducting the theory from the map in front of me. 

Spencer had drawn lines across the map, connecting at least five dots. “Uh-huh,” he hummed, then leaned in closer, his face right next to mine. “We were able to get these locations from the GPS of the rental car he used and ditched at the last murder site.” 

His breath felt hot against my skin, but it didn’t stop me from starting to tap away on the keyboard, trying to find any CCTV footage from any of the establishments in the neighborhood of those locations. Within seconds, I’d found some footage from a service station where the UnSub was seen leaving the shop. 

“Was this what you needed?” I asked sassily and turned my head to look at him. He was a lot closer than I anticipated him to be, my nose nearly grazed his cheek. Even up close he was pretty. 

He stood up straight again, much to my dismay, and offered me a shy smile. “Only if you can give me a name, too,” he told me. 

Raising my eyebrows challengingly, I turned back to the computer and ran the footage through Penelope’s software. Within seconds, I found a name, his age and address, which was someone on the list of suspects Penelope and I had been looking at for the past ten minutes. 

“Can you send that to the team?” he asked as he took out his phone, already dialing one of the team’s numbers. 

“Already did, pretty boy,” I smirked and watched as he walked away with a quick ‘thank you’ thrown over his shoulder towards us. When I turned back to Penelope, she looked at me with that teasing look she would only ever give me when she was about to give me shit. “What?” I asked. 

“Nothing,” she sang, though her face said something else entirely. 

I didn’t feel like getting into it. It wasn’t like I was going to see Spencer again. This was a one-time thing. Or at least, that was what I thought. It wasn’t until Penelope called me two weeks later with the same request. Even then I managed to stay somewhat professional around Spencer. 

But they didn’t leave it at two times. At least five more cases, I was asked to help Penelope out on. It didn’t bother me, at all. In fact, I actually enjoyed helping the BAU team on their cases. It gave me the opportunity to work together with my very best friend as well as secretly flirt with the young doctor. And, you know, learn something new and everything.

Every time I saw him, I could just imagine him pushing me against a wall and kissing me senseless. Every brush of the arm, every longing gaze we directed to one another. It all drove me completely insane, but there was not much I could do about it but sit back and act as professional as I possibly could. 

When we finished case number five, I was packing up my stuff and exited Penelope’s lair. My mind was still racing with the images I had seen about this gruesome case, but all of it seemingly cleared up when my eyes landed on the person standing at the very end of the hallway. 

“Oh, hi, Spencer,” I greeted with a smile as I approached him. 

He offered me that same knee-buckling smile. “Hi, y/n. I wanted to-uh, I wanted to check up on you. See if you were doing all right?” 

I wanted to push him against the wall and kiss his jaw. That man was the most considerate person alive and it was absolutely turning me on. Coughing, I recomposed myself. I couldn’t act upon these feelings building inside of me. 

“I am,” I said. “Though, I got to admit, this last case was a whole lot more brutal than the previous ones I helped on. It’s gonna haunt me for days.” I let out a chuckle, taking my eyes off him for a second. 

Spencer hummed. “Yeah, it, uh, it takes a while to get used to it.” 

“Do you ever get used to that?” 

Chuckling, Spencer shook his head. “No, not really…” 

A chuckle rolled off my lips too and for a moment, the two of us fell silent. It was a comfortable silence with the two of us just gazing into each other’s eyes as if we were under a spell. I knew that if I didn’t break eye contact, I would actually kiss him. 

“I, uh, I’m gonna go home,” I told him and finally tore my gaze off him. 

“Right,” he mumbled and turned towards the elevator. “You-uh, you want me to walk you to your car?” 

Eyes widening, I almost immediately let out a sharp, “No!” The moment he and I would’ve stepped out together, I would’ve jumped his bones. I coughed to recompose myself again. “No, I’m okay,” I repeated, softer this time. 

“Oh, okay,” Spencer nodded and stepped aside. “Well, I’ll, uh… I’ll see you another time then?” 

I offered him a smile. “Yeah, see you next time.” 

From the second I left the BAU, Spencer occupied my mind for the foreseeable future. Every corner I turned, every meal I had, every day I worked at my regular day job at the Capitol,... Spencer had taken over my mind and every fiber of my being. 

It had been a good week since I had last seen the BAU team, since I had last spoken to Spencer. I couldn’t focus at all. He was all I could think about to the point where I couldn’t even properly function. I had to do something about it. Even if it was just getting that feeling of frustration off my chest. 

That was why I had marched my way over to the BAU, went through the protocol at FBI security and clipped on my Visitor’s badge before trudging down to Penelope’s lair where I burst through the door without even knocking. She had given me the code to get in, so I didn’t have to knock. 

“Y/N? What are you–”

I ignored her and plopped down on the sofa with a groan. “I don’t know what to do anymore, Penny,” I told her defeatedly, resting my head back against the back of the sofa and looking up at the ceiling. 

“About what?” she asked. 

“Spencer, of course.” I didn’t catch Penelope’s wide-eyed look as I continued my tirade. “Unfortunately, I need him in a way that will defy the laws of space and time and set feminism back seventy years.” Rubbing my hands over my face, I rolled my head back to look at my best friend, who hadn’t given her unsolicited opinion immediately like she always did. 

That was when I saw the look of horror on her face. “Sugar plum,” she started, “Don’t be mad but…” My eyes landed on the device with the blinking red light behind her. She had been on a call and I could all but guess who was on that call. 

“No,” I muttered, my heart plummeting to my stomach and my cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “Don’t tell me –” 

Penelope pressed a button, putting her coworkers on speaker rather than through her headset. All I could hear was Derek’s and Emily’s giggles. “Wow, y/n,” came JJ’s voice, a bemused lilt in her tone. “I did not expect that coming from you.” 

I squeezed my eyes shut before rushing forward and pressing what I thought to be the mute button. “Why didn’t you mute us as soon as I came in?” I asked before starting to pace the length of the room, but didn’t give Penelope the chance to answer. “Now everyone knows and to make it all worse – Spencer now knows.” 

“Oh, mama, it’s not like we didn’t already know,” came Morgan’s voice through hiccups of laughter. 

“PENELOPE!” I screeched, realizing I hadn’t pressed the right button. 

With a simple shrug, Penelope turned to me. “Maybe it’s not so bad?” she tried and I just groaned in frustration before turning on my heel and leaving her lair. Now I had to debate whether to wait for Spencer to come back and explain everything to him or to just go home and never show my face here again. 

There wasn’t much of a chance for me to think about it because the team quickly filed back into the offices. As soon as my eyes landed on Spencer, I froze. Our eyes met and I could tell he wanted to tell me something, but there was a serial bomber to catch. Rather than leaving and going home, I decided to stick around and help Penelope. 

But before I could head over to Penelope’s lair, it was impossible to avoid the other’s relentless comments. Through a sea of giggles and quoting of what I had said to Penelope in confidence, I made my way through the bullpen, rolling my eyes. 

“I’m gonna get a cup of tea,” I told Penelope, getting up from my seat in her lair. “You want one?” 

“Yes, please, sugar,” she answered without taking her eyes off her screen. 

With a chuckle, I left the office and made my way to the break room where I put on the kettle for two cups of tea. While I busied myself picking out a flavor, my mind drifted off to what I could possibly say to Spencer if I ever got the chance. 

“Oh,” I heard the mumble behind me and when I turned around, I found Spencer in the doorway. “Hi.” He smiled a little awkwardly before making his way to the coffee pot. 

I returned the gesture. “Hi.” 

My eyes were trained on him while he poured the coffee and scribbled something down on a notepad beside him. My mind filtered through every possible word combination possible. I was so distracted, the click of the kettle turning off startled me. 

As I poured the hot water into two cups, Spencer placed a folded piece of paper in front of me on the counter and scurried away before I could possibly react. Curiosity rising within me, I unfolded the piece of paper, only to find “Meet me tonight” written in his scrawny handwriting. 

“That’s not vague at all,” I scoffed before pocketing it and continuing making the tea. Once the teabags were in, I made my way back to Penelope’s office, but not without one last glance at Spencer in the bullpen. Together with Derek and Emily, he was bent over a file on Emily’s desk. 

He seemingly felt my eyes on him as he, too, looked at me. Feeling my cheeks heat up underneath his gaze, I quickly looked away and rushed towards my best friend. I leaned my back against the door as soon as I shut it, trying to catch my breath. 

“What’s gotten into you, pumpkin?” Penelope asked when she saw the state of me. 

I chuckled and rolled my eyes, annoyed at myself that I let a man make me feel this way. “Not Spencer, unfortunately.” My best friend let out a loud cackle. “He gave me this note–” I placed her octopus mug in front of her before handing her the note. 

“That’s vague,” she mumbled, her brows furrowed. 

“Exactly what I thought,” I grumbled. “He was gone before I could even ask.” 

Penelope tsked before patting the chair that had been mine for the last couple of weeks. With a sigh, I plopped down carefully so as to not spill my hot tea. For the next hour, I tried to focus on the case more than on Spencer and what I was going to say to him. 

However, it was hard not to think about him. 

So, once the case was wrapped up, I packed up my stuff and went out to the hall where Spencer had waited for me merely a week ago. I didn’t even bother to say goodbye to Penelope as I would be seeing her soon anyway and she knew I had to do what I had to do. 

It took a couple of minutes before Spencer walked out of the bullpen, eyes focused on the phone in his hand. 

“‘Meet me tonight’?” I asked, capturing his attention. His honey eyes met mine, his lips twitching into a smile. “Could you be any more vague?” 

“Sorry,” he chuckled and chucked his phone into his pocket again. “I just–” he sighed, unable to finish his sentence. Another soft laugh rolled off his lips as he looked down to the squeaky-clean floor of the FBI Headquarters. He looked back up at me, his eyes tender and searching for something I didn’t even know. 

“What?”

Not even bothering to answer my question, Spencer grabbed my hand and tugged me into the closest room, which happened to be the family room. As soon as the door was shut, he pushed me against the wall by kissing me, his hands on my hips to hold me in place. 

“Does this set feminism back seventy years?” he asked between kisses to my lips and jaw. 

My toes curled and my stomach fluttered. This was all I had been dreaming of ever since I met him that first day. I had wanted him flush against me, fingers tangling up in my hair and his tongue warm against mine. 

“No,” I breathed while he worked his way down my neck in open-mouthed kisses. “But it does defy the laws of space and time.” 

The words seemingly set something animalistically off in Spencer as his kisses became hungrier and his hands roamed my body in ways I had never been touched before. He gave me enough to brag to Penelope about the next day. 

He gave me everything I had been dreaming of. 

Everything taglist: @calamitykaty@littlemissaddict @n0wornever @wanniiieeeee @unnowhatthisistbhbh

Criminal Minds Taglist: @boimlers-gonna-boim @samsbirks@tinaasthings @dysphoricsanity @love4lando @elenamoncada-ibarra @r-3dlips @magstheslayer @astess 

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds

[reidspharb]

The Moment I Knew

*Part two

Summary: Spencer misses your 25th birthday and that’s when you realize your relationship can’t be fixed.

Word count: 800 or something idk ICBA shes a short one

Warnings: angst, Reid is a shitty boyfriend in this one

Note: hi this was written at 3 am and I’m new to writing so if this sucks sorry anyways but I got this idea from Taylor Swifts song by the Same name and I thought I would write it so yeah enjoy

Sure, you were so happy all your friends were there and everyone was having a good time… but you couldn’t help but think about Spence.

It was 10 pm, the party started at 8 and he still wasn’t there like he promised. You couldn’t help but think about him coming through the door right now, gifts in hand as he did on your last birthday with that baby I’m right here smile.

You knew he couldn’t be here, and you knew how much he valued his work, but, he wasn’t even on a case far away… he was here, in Virginia, and he couldn’t even call to wish you a happy birthday.

Your eyes were locked on the door most of the time as you socialized. People asked about him, about your relationship, and the most you could give them was a sad smile and a dishonest word about how great everything was going.

“So how have you been,” your friend Sarah said as she laughed and took a sip of her drink “I mean I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!”

you plastered on the brightest fake smile you could and mustered up an answer just normal enough to get you by.

“I've been okay, you know, with work and everything.”

All you could think about was him, how he said he would be there. He told you- no he promised you weeks in advance that he would be here. But he’s not.

You felt stupid, standing there all dolled up in your tight black dress and red lipstick. You thought maybe if you dressed up nice he would make sure to be there, but then again, there you were with no one to impress.

You knew it was hopeless, there you were on your birthday staring at the door and watching the clock tick as everyone around you danced and laughed. You looked around the room, trying to spot him in the crowd but who were you fooling, you knew he wasn’t there.

As you listened to your loved ones sing happy birthday around you, you could only hear his voice in your memory. When you blew out those candles your only wish was for him to be there with you. You should’ve been so happy, but he was the one thing missing.

Then it was 1 am, and you were barely tipsy. you already had a nervous stomach, you knew drinking would only make it worse. By now you were sick of everyone being around you, you just wanted to be alone. You stumbled to the bathroom over some discarded red cups and locked yourself in there, tears burning at your eyes when you saw yourself in the mirror.

You did your makeup the way he liked it too so that if you sent pictures he really wouldn’t miss it, such a naive thing to think you told yourself. You heard a knock on your door and there were your two best friends, Tegan and Oliver, mixed with the emotions of seeing them staring at you with so much pity in their eyes and Spencer being away made you break down.

Tegan held you as you sobbed, mascara dripping down your cheeks with every tear.

“He said- he said he would be here…”

“I'm so sorry, love bug, I wish I could grab him and rip him into pieces. You deserve so much better.” Said Oliver, holding your cold hands.

You felt so embarrassed, sitting there in front of your friends crying about some stupid boy. But he was the one who meant the most to you and he wasn’t there.

The next morning you woke up on your couch, head pounding. Your apartment was trashed, there were plastic cups scattered all over the room. As you stepped over them to get ready for the day, you felt a sharp pain in your chest as you heard Spencer’s familiar ringtone playing from your phone.

“Hey doll, it’s me” he sighed on the other line of the phone.

“Hi, Spencer.” You mumbled. You knew it would hurt to say his whole name instead of the nickname you’d been calling him since the day you met him.

“I'm so sorry I didn’t make it babe I was caught up in paperwork and I lost tra-“ you interrupted his rambling, you didn’t care anymore.

“It’s fine. I’ll talk to you later Spencer.” You hissed into the phone before hitting the red button on the screen and setting your phone back down on the counter.

That was the moment you knew.

That was the moment you knew that this would never work out.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #angst #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid self insert #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds fanfiction #mgg #matthew gray gubler #dr spencer reid #ssa spencer reid #idk what else to put here #help #first fic #or whatever #is that cringe #idk lol #Reidspharbangst

[slvt4em1lyprenti2s]

Sparks

Originally published on my wattpad: slvt4em1lyprenti2s

Summary: You and Emily have had tension for a while now, and it finally breaks.

Word Count: 2k 

Fluff, implikation of nsfw, normal case details, being held by an UnSub (extremely briefly)

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x fem!reader

!NOT PROOFREAD!

Emily's pov:

This case is dragging on, and on, and on. We know who the UnSub is and we're keeping a close eye on him but we have no solid evidence to pin him yet, so we're basically waiting on him to kidnap another woman. 

He stalks them at clubs and then whisks them away with his 'charm' and they think they're getting lucky. But they're not, they're getting an early grave. It's sad but c'mon men are stupid and cruel and disgusting. Ugh men. 

It's hard not to prove the lesbian stereotypes.

Anyway, we're running out of options because this guy just isn't biting, we think he's cottoned onto the surveillance we have in him and is therefore not going to kidnap another woman. We're sitting ducks. We just need a woman he can't resist to waltz into the club he's in right now to resolve this problem.

"You ready?" I hear Hotch say. My interest piqued I look to see who he's talking too and my eyes fall on the y/h/c haired beauty I get to call my best friend. Although I wish it was more. She's in a red dress thats stops around mid thigh, a slit that goes too far up for my liking on her left leg and a plunging neckline that makes it hard not to stare. I come to my senses as I hear her angelic voice.

"Ready as I'll ever be, I didn't imagine I'd be spending my Saturday chatting up a serial killer but here we are." She chuckles, got I could listen to her laugh all day- wait what. She's going to chat up the UnSub?

Rossi must've seen me coming and realised what I'd head as he said "Uh oh, here comes your girlfriend y/n/n." The team all laughed at this as they saw me coming. I wasn't going to stop her from doing her job but I sure as hell wasn't letting her go in unprotected. 

"Take this." I hand her a small pistol that can fit in her clutch, remembering I had been in a similar situation before. 

"Thank you em." The blush on her face is evident to everyone in the room, thankfully no one mentions it. 

As she stuffs it into her clutch she spins to face me and pulls me into a hug. I grip her tightly, my hands resting on the small of her back as I take in her scent. 

"Be careful, please." I plead quietly.

"I will, pinky promise, you know I can't break pinky promises." As she finishes her sentence her pinky makes its way round mine and we each kiss our hand. It's a little tradition we have when we promise something and really mean it. 

Me and y/n/n have had tension for months, I'm not even 100% sure she's into girl but hey, I can dream. 

After this little display Morgan started making kissing noises to which he received a middle finger from me and a 'yeah you wish you could watch' from y/n/n which made the team laugh even harder. 

"As amusing as this is, we have an UnSub to catch, so come in everyone. Let's get going to the SUV's." Hotch said over our laughter.

Time skip to when you are in the bar

Reader pov:

Jesus christ. I didn't know anyone's ego could be this big. He's talking to girls left and right as if he owns them, as if it's his right to talk to them. I actually might throw up. Hotch, Derek and Emily are positioned in different places throughout the bar and Jj, Rossi and Spencer along with SWAT and local PD are surrounding the building so, I'm completely safe.

I fix my face as he looks in my direction putting in my best smile and giving him a flirty wave. He instantly smirks and excuses himself from whatever meaningless conversation he was having with this poor girl and makes his way over to me.

"What's a pretty lady like you doing alone on a Saturday night?" He asks while touching my lower back as he walks up next to me, leaning against the bar.

"Just looking for a friend, you know, the usual." I respond, dragging my finger along my glass of lemonade. 

"I could help with that." He whispers into my ear. God I could punch him right now.

"I'd like that, you wanna get out of here?" I propose trying to get this done as soon as possible.

"Whoa slow down little lady, I gotta get you a drink first. Get to know ya a little." I internally roll my eyes because what he means is 'Whoa slow down, I need to drug you first.' 

He clearly senses my hesitation and puts the dots together. 

"You're not here for a friend, are you?" This time I actually roll my eyes and that's enough for him as I then feel something cold and metal press against my ribs. Shit. 

"Don't make a scene and walk with me." His words are like daggers. Or maybe that's just the actual dagger pressing on my side. Who knows? 

"Eric Mannings, FBI!" I hear Hotch shout with Emily and Derek right behind him, guns out, pointing at him. Immediately my position is flipped, there's now a knife on the throat, not my side. I'm in a headlock, about to get my neck cut and the only thing I can think about is how bad this guy smells and how hot Emily looks in her FBI vest and with her gun out.

He is going back and forth with Hotch until I see Emily out of the corner of my eyes, getting a better position. Uh oh, this is either going to end with a bullet in his body or, Emily's badge and gun on Strauss' desk. I can only hope for the first option. Everyone has been ordered to shoot if they have a clear shot which is exactly what Emily had right now. BANG! I scrunch my eyes as the shot rings awfully close to my ear. 

I feel the grip on my loosen as he falls down on the floor, shot in the neck. Wait why was that hot- OMG STOP. Emily immediately rushes over to me and helps me away from everyone as Derek crouches to check his pulse and everyone else from the perimeter comes in. 

"Hey are you okay?" Concern evident in her voice. 

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay." I lie through my teeth. In all honestly even though I acted okay, I did just get held with a knife at my throat by a homicidal maniac, so you know, kinda shaken up. 

"No you're not." Her tone gentle yet commanding.

"No, I'm not." Tear prick at the corner of my eyes, threatening to spill. 

"Oh honey, come here." She pulls me into her warm embrace and I cling to her.

Honey.

Honey.

Honey.

Like sure we have nicknames but a pet name? Never crossed that line before. Does that mean.. No stop being delusional she'd never like you back.

A few tears escape my eyes as I lay my head on her shoulder.

"Let's go home yeah?" She says, as she begins to guide me out the bar and into one of the SUV's.

"Yeah, that sounds nice." 

Time skip to when you're  back at Emily's apartment.

"This isn't my place?" I question as we pull up to the block of flats.

I look around the familiar neighbourhood and realise we're at Emily's place.

"I can take you home if you want I- uh I just thought you wouldn't want to be alone after what happened, I know I wouldn't. But, I can leave you alone if you want?" She rambled as her hand subconsciously rests on my thigh. My breath catches in my throat slightly at this action.

"No, no, em. It would be really nice to have some company actually. Thank you." A blush creeping onto my cheeks, thinking about spending the night with Emily Prentiss, alone. 

As we walk out the car and into her flat, our hands intertwine. It sends sparks through my body, as cheesy as it sounds. We finally make it to her flat and she gets her keys out, unlocks the door and we walk in. 

"Make yourself at home; do you need anything?" She asks, instantly fussing over me.

"I'm okay, em, really. I just need you." Now it was Emily's turn to blush. She looked to the ground and muttered a quick, 'I can do that' as she walked me to her bedroom. 

I was passed a pair of old sleep shorts and an oversized hoodie with the words 'FBI Academy' written across it. It was the comfiest jumper I've ever worn; and it smelt like em which was a massive bonus. Emily made her way to the bathroom giving me time and space to change into my pj's. 

As I was slipping my shirt off so I could but on the jumper she gave me I heard the bathroom lock click and the door swing open quicker than I could cover myself. 

"Oh god! I'm sorry!" She squeals covering her eyes. 

"It's okay em don't worry about it! We're both girls, nothing we haven't seen before, right? And plus, I still have a bra on." I try to tame the   blush that's infecting my face, but that fails as soon as she responds to my words "I wish you didn't." She says it so quietly I think I imagined it. 

"What was that?" 

"Nothing." 

"I mean I wouldn't object to it, if you're being serious." 

"Really?" 

"mhm"

She creeps closer to me, our faces inches apart. Her warm breath fans across my face as my arms lace around her back as hers reach for my hips. 

"Honey you have no idea what you're doing to me right now." There it is again, that damn name. If she keeps that up I'm going to melt.

"I think I have some idea." 

"Oh really?" 

"Yeah, I think I do."

"Prove it." 

Without a seconds hesitation I smash her lips against mine in a heated kiss. The months of built up tension, flirting, jealousy, all spilt into this one kiss. I feel her hand travel from my waist to the back of my neck and she pressed my head in and deepens the kiss. Her tongue grazes over my bottom lip asking for entrance which I happily grant opening my mouth. I let out a small gasp as she pushes her tongue into my mouth, instantly dominating and not leaving an inch unexplored. 

We pull away and the look in her eye tells me all I need to know. She gently guided me to her bed until my knees hit the edge and I sit down. I shuffle back and she sits next to me pulling me into her lap. 

"Promise me something." Emily says abruptly. "Of course, anything." I respond, wondering where this is leading.

"Be mine, forever. Be my girlfriend." Her dark eyes lock with my y/e/c ones and I immediately respond, "I want nothing more than to be yours em." That's all the incentive she needed to kiss me with that same passion again. Hungry lips make contact with my collar bone, nipping and sucking at my skin, already leaving marks. 

This was going to be a long night, not that I'm complaining though. 

A/N: LMAO THIS WAS SHITEEE. It's okay though it's 1am so cut me some slack and I started writing this ages ago and completely forgot what I was planning to write so I just made it up as I went along. Sorry for the crappy chapter!

ALSO PLEASE LEAVE REQUESTS!!

#wlw #lesbian #sapphic #wlw fanfic #emily prentiss x reader #lesbian pride #wlw pride #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss x female reader #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x y/n #criminal minds fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

[pascalislover]

New Girlfriend - Jealous Jealous Jealous Girl

pairing: spencer reid x reader 

summary: there’s a part of you that believes that dr spencer reid has a secret girlfriend, according to JJ he does. He’s your best friend, and surely he would’ve told you if that’s the case, but you don’t want to believe it, as you have always had feelings for the doctor for as long as you can remember, you feel envious of this mystery girl, but you don’t want to get in the way and lose the friendship to. 

genre: romance, no smut (perhaps?)

warnings: slow burn, angst in general, some fluff, (can’t think of any more at this point in time), there is mentions of y/n.

part two here

You were currently out with JJ and Morgan, looking at clothes while the employee is out the back grabbing names for us to know who the suspect is. Everything are things Spencer would wear, from the dorky shirts and the dorky jackets, you smile. You smile at the thought of him. 

As if she read your mind, JJ comments about the clothes being Spencer’s style, Morgan chuckles, and you chuckle to. 

“Hey do you know why Reid’s been acting all strange lately?” Morgan asks, “should I be concerned? I mean he’s always out doing something.” He shrugs as he continues to look around the store. “I’m pretty sure it’s a secret girlfriend.” 

You stop what you were doing and snapped your head to look at JJ, “girlfriend? Why do you think that?” You asked, hoping that it’s something else and not a girlfriend. You would’ve known...right? You’re best friends, you’re closer then Morgan and Garcia, and that’s saying something. 

“I was talking to Blake about it before we left, she has a high chance it’s a ‘phone booth girl’. Probably explains why he’s out so often, plus Blake told me he talks about her from time to time.” Neither Morgan nor JJ notice the sad look on your face, as you fiddle with your fingers, unsure whether you should excuse yourself. 

“I’ve got a list of everyone who’s called and/or visited in the past couple months.” The employee comes out, thankfully to pull you out of your thoughts. 

“Thanks sir, we appreciate it.” Morgan grabs the lists as the three of you start to head to the exit. 

“Y/n, you okay?” JJ asks, you nod, not wanting to speak, afraid your voice will betray you. “Okay, well if you need to speak to someone, I’m here.” She smiles to which you return. 

You’re at the police station where the team is stationed, you’re still thinking about him, if he really has a secret girlfriend that Blake and JJ are talking about. You shake your head, trying hard not to think about it, when suddenly you overhear Alex taking to Spencer, unable to resist you get close to where they were talking without being seen. 

“Is everything okay?” You heard Alex ask. “Yeah I'm fine, just trying to do my work but I couldn’t concentrate out there so I came in here.” She nods.

“I mean is everything okay with the ‘phone booth girl’.” Your heart clenches at the sound of her “name”. “We went out to go to dinner last night.” dinner? You thought. so he has a girlfriend? Or at least wants her to be his girlfriend. You internally sigh, not wanting them to hear as you walk away, not bearing to hear anymore. 

“So it was a date?” Alex smirks at the Spencer Reid on a date with a mystery girl. 

Spencer shook his head. “No, nothing of that sorts, I’m not even romantically attracted to her, she’s pretty yes, but she’s not y/n.” He looks at the doorway, wanting y/n to be there, but knowing she’s also busy with the case. 

“So this mystery phone booth girl isn’t your type?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Maeve, her name is Maeve. Better to give her an actual name then phone booth girl”. He comments. “But however, I know Maeve likes me, she attempts to flirt with me”. He shrugs. 

“Then why don’t you say something to y/n?”

“Because I’m scared of losing the friendship I have with her.”

Alex crouches to his level, as Spencer is confused. “Y/n loves you. She absolutely has loved you for a long time now, and I can see it, the way she stares at you, the way she’d rather help you then anyone else. The way you’re always on the number one spot on the list. So go to her and tell her before she slips through your fingers.”

He nods, as he hugs her for the first time, then grabs his stuff and leaves, but before he leaves the rooms, he turns back. “Thank you Alex, for everything.” She smiles to which he returns. 

He’s walking away.

“Go get ‘em loverboy.” She whispers.

-----------------------------------------------------------

A/N:

I hope you enjoyed it!! If you’re lucky I could do a small second part of the confession. 

#spencerreid #spencer reid x reader #criminalminds #matthewgraygubler #my husband #iwanttokisshimsobadly

[spnjediavenger]

It Won't Last Forever (Chapter 1)

Title: It Won’t Last Forever (Chapter 1)

Type: multi-chapter; father!Hotch x teen!daughter!reader, some bau x teen!reader (platonic!)

Warnings: canon-typical Criminal Minds sadness and/or violence, blood, light injury description

POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNINGS: panic attack description, flashbacks, alludes to PTSD, family death

Spoilers: S5 SPOILERS

Notes: I changed the end of the episode a bit. Sorrynotsorry.

The panic attack and PTSD description is a mix of my own experience and some I read online - this is not how ALL panic attacks and PTSD are experienced.

Y/n/n is a general nickname, N/n is going to be a nickname only Spencer uses for Y/n

Information creds at the end; I took some info verbatim to use in some of Spencer’s info dumps

As always, love and/or constructive/friendly criticism is welcome and encouraged!

Word count: 3,169

“Sometimes the loudest cries for help are silent.” Harlan Coben

The scene the team walked into wasn’t quite what they expected it would be. Hell, it wasn't what Hotch expected it would be. Not in the end anyway. He expected the blood on the floor. Even on the walls. But he thought he would walk in and find Foyet and be part of the final fight. What he didn’t expect was to find his daughter slightly beaten standing in the bedroom with a gun in her hands and Foyet dead on the floor - a bullet hole dead center in his forehead. 

Hotch quickly went to check that Jack was ok and send him out of the house with JJ before coming back to see his daughter. 

Y//n heard his movement and spun on her heel, gun pointed at him, eyes wild and body shaking.

“Y/n, honey, it’s me. It’s dad,” he said, holding his hands up in a calming manner. 

“Daddy?” she whispered shakily, body still trembling. 

“That’s right, sweetheart. It’s ok now. I need you to drop the gun, honey.” Hotch had tears running down his face from grief and he couldn’t hide that right now. But he also needed to talk Y/n down, who was clearly in shock. 

The girl’s eyes flicked down to the weapon in her hands and she began to shake more. She looked back up at her dad. “I worked the case, too. I… I had to… I couldn’t let him hurt Jack too…” she trailed off as she turned her head to the ground and saw her mother’s lifeless body laying there. 

“I know, honey. It’s ok. But I need you to drop the gun now, ok? It’s all over.”

She looked down at the gun again, to Foyet’s body, then her dad and finally dropped the gun. Hotch was quick to kick it away and pull his daughter into his arms, glad she was safe. Her arms stayed at her sides and she stared straight ahead into the hallway. Hotch pulled back and tried to look into her eyes but they were devoid of anything. He called Morgan back into the room and asked him to take Y/n outside to have her looked at and informed him that she was in shock. Hotch walked over to Haley’s body and Morgan put an arm around Y/n’s shoulders to lead her to the ambulance outside. 

Each member of the team watched her, ready to offer comfort and condolences but Y/n just stared empty ahead. They looked at each other, concerned, but chalked it up to her being in shock. Some might think this day would be the eye of the storm. But the storm was just getting started. 

Hotch did his best to be there for his kids through losing Haley while not neglecting his own feelings and need to cope. Jack was so young that he didn’t fully understand what was going on; Y/n, though, should have been showing signs of coping. Or even just feeling. But she didn’t. For a teenager who just lost her mother, she was surprisingly calm. Hotch hadn’t seen her cry once since her death. And frankly, he was concerned. He tried approaching her and getting her to talk but she just kept telling him she was fine. She put on a happier façade around Jack but Hotch could see right through it. The rest of his team, when they would visit, noticed too. They were all worried. 

One Saturday, Hotch had to go into work. Jack was over at a friend’s house and would be sleeping over so that would leave Y/n by herself. 

He stopped by her room and tapped his knuckles on her door. A very quiet ‘come in’ sounded and he opened the door to find the girl sitting in the window seat staring outside, arms hugging her knees to her chest. 

“Hey, sweetheart. The team and I have to go into work. Do you want to come with me? Say hi to everyone? They all miss you. Might be a good idea to get out of the house for a bit with Jack at his friend’s,” he suggested.

Y/n let out a sigh through her nose and reluctantly nodded. She grabbed a hoodie and her mini backpack. Hotch held an arm out and she let him wrap it around her shoulders and lead her to the car. 

The ride to the BAU was quiet and uncomfortable. Well, it was uncomfortable for Hotch anyway. He spared glances at Y/n as she stared blankly out the window as they drove, no emotion to her features. 

As they entered the bullpen, all eyes looked up and smiles appeared on everyone’s faces. 

“Heeey! What’s happening Y/n/n?” Morgan said, getting up and opening his arms for a hug. Y/n returned the hug to a bare minimum and remained quiet. 

“Hey, how’s it going Y/n?” Emily was next, rocking her a bit as they hugged. The girl shrugged and let Spencer hug her next. 

“I think I found the perfect book for you to read next,” he said. Y/n forced a half smile and nodded. 

JJ came up next but decided against saying anything, noticing her reactions, or rather, lack thereof. 

“Oh my goodness gracious did I hear that baby Hotchner is here?!” Penelope’s voice rang through the room. She ran over and practically crushed Y/n in her arms. “Why did no one tell me our favorite Hotchner was coming?! Oh uh, no offense, sir,” she added, looking at her boss. 

He gave a small, humored smile. “Non taken.”

Penelope looked back to Y/n and frowned. “Oh my sweetness. What’s going on? Talk to Auntie Penny.”

“I’m fine,” she said quickly, then turned to her dad. “I’m gonna go to your office.”

“Alright, sweetheart.”

The team watched as she ascended the stairs, accepting a hug from Rossi as he came out of his own office, and shut herself in her dad’s. 

Morgan looked over to Hotch as Rossi came down. “She still isn’t saying anything?”

Hotch shook his head. 

“Have you tried taking her to therapy?” Rossi asked.

“She won’t even talk to me, Dave. Why would she talk to a stranger?”

“Because it’s not you. You should know that sometimes it’s hardest to open up to those you’re closest to.”

Hotch sighed. “I don’t think she’d take to the idea. She won’t even admit to anything being wrong.”

“Could she still be in shock?” Morgan offered.

“This far away from the trauma? It’s been a couple weeks - is that common?” JJ asked. 

“Typically, emotional shock lasts for minutes to days, but can last for weeks to months depending on the severity of the trauma. And considering there are multiple sources of trauma for Y/n that her mind is pulling from it’s actually not surprising that she’s still experiencing symptoms,” Reid came in with an info dump. 

“As much as I’m worried about Y/n, I’d like to get this case out of the way,” Hotch said, trying to change the subject. The others nodded slightly solemnly and got to work. 

A few hours into the visit, Y/n left her dad’s office to grab a snack. She passed the round table room and heard snippets of the team talking. 

“He may have the same mask but this man is nothing like Foyet.”

Y/n froze and almost tripped over her feet. Her breath caught in her throat and she shook her head to try and clear it. 

The movement caught Morgan’s attention and he tapped Hotch to stop his mention of Foyet. 

“You ok, kid?” Morgan called out to her. 

Snapping out of her thoughts, Y/n nodded. “Yeah, fine,” she said, and continued walking. The team shared looks but continued their work. 

Y/n bounced down the steps to the break room. She grabbed a glass from the counter and filled it with water and went to get a snack from one of the cabinets but the door was stuck. She groaned and gave a harder tug. With a bit too much momentum, the door flew open and the corner caught her under her eye. She gasped and dropped the glass, causing it to shatter on the ground. This caught the team’s attention from upstairs. 

The sting under her eye sent her back two weeks and suddenly Foyet was in front of her. 

“You weren’t the one I was figuring on fighting. But I’ll take it,” he smirked, punching her again. She fell to the ground, hands getting cut on the glass under her. But she didn’t notice. 

She kicked his knee, sending him to the ground with her. He grabbed his leg and she had the chance to get up. 

“Y/n.” That wasn’t Foyet’s voice. 

She grabbed the gun that had fallen out of her hands and pointed it at Foyet. He grabbed her legs and pulled them from under her. She gasped as her head hit the ground. 

Hotch tried grabbing Y/n’s flailing limbs to keep her from injuring herself further. He was trying to get through to her and get her to open her eyes but it was like she didn’t hear him. 

Y/n kicked her legs at him and landed one in the face. She took the moment to stand once more and shoot him square in the forehead. 

“Y/n!”

Y/n sucked in a deep breath as her eyes opened and she saw her father in front of her, his familiar grip on her wrists. 

“Daddy?” she whispered. Her body was shaking. 

Hotch swallowed the sob his body wanted to release at the familiarity of these events. “That’s right, sweetheart. It’s ok now.”

Y/n glanced around the room to remind herself where she was and saw blood on the ground. 

Haley’s body lay on the floor, blood seeping through her clothes from multiple gunshot wounds. She let out a broken gasp and moved away.

She jerked and tried to back away but Hotch kept his grip on her. She began hyperventilating. 

“Y/n, honey, everything is fine. That’s your blood, you cut your hands. You’re at the BAU.” He tried to keep his tone light but he was desperate to help his little girl. He didn’t know what to do.

“Hotch, maybe let me try?” Spencer spoke up. 

“She’s my daughter,” he defended. 

“Aaron, she needs someone who’s level-headed right now,” Rossi said. “Let the kid help.”

Hotch gave Spencer an apologetic look and nodded. Spencer hobbled over and carefully knelt down to Y/n’s level. 

“N/n, it’s Spencer,” he said gently. “I need you to look at me; can you do that, sweetheart?”

Y/n’s ears picked up on ‘N/n.’ Only one person ever called her that. Her wild eyes looked around until they landed on the youngest member of the BAU team. 

“Spencer,” she gasped, still hyperventilating. 

He smiled a bit. “That’s it. I need you to try and breathe for me ok? You’re having a panic attack. Can I help you move away from the glass?”

The girl nodded and Spencer guided her away and into a chair that Rossi had pulled out for her.

“Good job. Now, follow my breathing ok? Breath in for four, hold for four, let out for four.”

The girl nodded but as soon as she tried to take a deep breath, a sob came out making her practically choke on it. Hotch held a hand over his mouth and turned away, unable to stand seeing his daughter like this. 

Spencer rubbed Y/n’s back soothingly as she coughed. 

“Alright, that’s ok. Put your head between your knees instead. Putting your head below your heart will increase blood circulation to your brain and keep you from getting dizzy or passing-“

“Reid,” Morgan interrupted him, afraid his info dump would make things worse. 

“No,” Y/n whimpered. “Keep talking.” Listening to Reid talk was actually helping and giving her something else to focus on.

The boy nodded and kept guiding her actions as he continued talking, keeping a gentle tone instead of the usual teacher-like one his info dumps typically sported. “Morgan, grab some ice,” he said over his shoulder then turned back to Y/n. “Panic attacks are common for a number of psychological illnesses and can be connected to trauma. There are different types of attacks and I’m assuming this is situational-induced attack; these occur as a response to something specific and expected. They can happen in anticipation of a trigger or immediately after exposure to it. Triggers from traumatic events are quite common. Thanks, Morgan. Here, hold this. One way to stop panic attacks, especially when steadying your breathing is difficult, is to stimulate the senses. This works to interrupt the automatic reactions to the panic attack to snap the body out of the symptoms. Smelling something strong or holding ice are common methods and usually the most helpful. And one of the most important things to remember,” he added as he saw she finally began to relax, “is that while panic attacks may feel like they are never-ending, but they usually peak within 10 minutes. It won’t last forever.”

“It won’t last forever,” she whispered after him. 

Spencer nodded and pushed some hair out of her face when she looked up. “It won’t last forever. You did great, N/n.”

The girl gave a small smile. It was the first real one Hotch had seen since before Haley died. He let out a relieved sigh and Rossi squeezed his shoulder. 

Spencer glanced at Hotch and looked back at Y/n. “Can you let your dad clean your hands and eye up, Y/n? Those need to be taken care of.”

The girl nodded and Spencer smiled and kissed her head as he stood to walk away. Hotch put a hand on his shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. A silent ‘thank you.’ Spencer patted Hotch’s shoulder and left the room. 

Y/n’s eyes drooped a bit as tiredness overtook her. The panic attack had drained a lot of her energy. Hotch let her sit in silence as he tended to her wounds, not missing the flinch when he first touched her eye. But he wouldn’t bring it up now. He now knew he couldn’t wait for her to be comfortable talking but he would at least wait until she had more energy.

After wrapping her hands and cleaning her eye, Hotch took Y/n home. The team was just about done for the day anyway and the others told him that Y/n was his main priority right now. He thanked them and left.

It was around dinner time when they arrived home so Hotch suggested Y/n get changed into some comfy clothes and take a nap while he ordered takeout. She wordlessly nodded and went to her room. Hotch sighed and grabbed his phone to get working on dinner.

When the food came, Hotch and Y/n ate in silence save for the TV in the background. Y/n seemed to be a little less tired but Hotch could tell she had a lot of things running through her mind. 

Once they finished eating and the dishes were taken care of, Hotch approached Y/n before she could retreat to her room.

“Honey? Can we talk please?”

Y/n looked at her father and saw hope in his eyes. But almost in a pleading way. She weighed her options in her head but soon gave a resigned sigh and nodded. She took her dad’s outstretched hand and let him lead her to the couch. Y/n hugged her legs to her chest and Hotch brought a leg up so he could face her.

“Y/n…you don’t have to share anything you don’t want to…I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. But sweetheart, you have to let something out. Anything. I was going to let things go until you weren’t in shock but after today I don’t feel comfortable considering that luxury anymore. We’ve all been through a lot and you’re no exception. Keeping things bottled up isn’t healthy. As much as I hate to see you upset, it’s worried me that you haven’t cried once. Please just tell me something, honey. No one can help you if you don’t let us in.”

As Hotch talked, Y/n could feel the slightest sting begin behind her eyes. In all honesty - she was worried about her lack of emotion too. But she didn’t have it in her to say anything about it. It took too much energy.

She let out another sigh and looked down at her hands. “I haven’t said anything the past two weeks because I haven’t felt anything the past two weeks,” she said quietly. “It’s like my mind was a void. I put on a happy face for Jack because I know he needs me. But the rest of the time I just couldn’t be bothered. But today…”

Hotch watched her as her voice drifted off. “What happened today?” he asked gently.

Y/n took a shaky breath. “I heard someone say his name and I froze. I don’t know why. But I couldn’t move for a second. Then in the break room the stupid cabinet was stuck then it hit my eye when I tried jerking it open and all of a sudden I was back there. He was in front of me. It was like I was living it all over again.” At this point, her voice started shaking and tears were glossing over her eyes. “He had punched me when I threatened him and that’s what I think brought it on. It was in the same place the door hit. I could hear you calling my name sometimes but it sounded far away. But I saw everything again and I…I felt. I think it happened too fast the first time and my brain couldn’t catch up, b-but this time…this time it could.” She turned her red eyes up to her father’s, which were also beginning to redden. “I-I shot him, dad. I killed someone. And mom-” a cry escaped her lips and Hotch wasted no time in pulling her into his arms.

Ugly sobs forced their way out of Y/n’s lips as she clung to her father for dear life. Her fingers dug into his shoulders but right now he couldn’t care less.

“I couldn’t save her, daddy! I tried!”

Hotch started crying harder at seeing Y/n breaking down. “I know- I know you did, sweetheart. It’s ok. It wasn’t your job to. It’s not your fault.”

Y/n buried her face into his shoulder, soaking his shirt with tears and snot. They both wrapped their arms around each other tighter and cried. Hotch held her head with one hand while the other remained on her back, rubbing up and down. 

Nothing else was said. Right now, nothing else needed to be said. The Hotchner family had each other’s backs. They had a long road ahead of them, but they would get through it. Together.

Misty Copeland once said: “Be strong, be fearless, be beautiful. And believe that anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.”

(Chapter 2) ->

Creds: how-to-stop-a-panic-attack-5202930

anxiety-101-how-stop-panic-attacks-their-tracks

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x daughter reader #aaron hotchner x teen reader #criminal minds x teen reader #bau x teen reader #criminal minds x hotchner reader #fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction

[smoshyourheadin]

Sunshine and Soda Cans

Part 3 - Refreshing

“oh my god tell me EVERYTHING”

angela runs up to you as she hears your keys in the door, practically tackling you for information.

“okay! okay! so, well, we were editing, and then we streamed, and then i drove him to his apartment, and we kissed, and i dont know!” you retort, flopping down on the couch. “also wheres that ice-cream?” you ask her with puppy dog eyes.

“oh shoot yeah! ill grab it,” she scurries off for a minute, and returns with two bowls of vanilla ice-cream topped with strawberry slices. “here you are m’lady”

you hiss as your skin touches the cold bowl

“okay, so, how did it happen? was it good? do you think he likes you?” she begins to spew questions at you.

“one at a time jelly, jeez! okay so , it happened when we were outside his apartment, yes it was good, and i think so? maybe? i hope so at least.”

“well,” she says with a huf “if he doesn't like you he’s missing out!”

you giggle at her, and turn on tangled for the hundredth time this month, it’s your guys’ favourite. you curl up together under a blanket, and drift off.

the weekend goes on pretty smoothly, you and angela just hanging out. then monday comes around.

“cmon (y/n/n) wake up! we’re gonna be late!” you feel the mattress dipping, and rub your eyes.

“huh-“ you reply groggily, and then you realise whats happening

“ANGELA STOP JUMPING ON MY BED!” you laugh at her energy, as she flops down beside you. managing to hoist yourself out if bed, you throw on a sweatshirt and linen pants. on the way to the office, you guys stop at coffee bean for smoothies, which angela almost spills everywhere.

walking into the office, you spot spencer and give him a sweet smile. but he freezes up and just walks away.

what?

you shrug it off, and continue on through the day.

at around 2, you’re about to start shooting an aitah video with spencer and, obviously, shayne. but spencer is being really avoidant, not looking at you while kiana tells you about the shoot. so you chase him up just before the shoot, because you don’t want that tension on screen

“spencer hey,” you jog up to him in the kitchen as he grabs a mt dew kickstart. “whats up? why are you being weird with me? have i done something?” you look into his eyes as you ask him, and you can see his sadness.

“no, i just, i don't know…” he starts to trail off “i just feel like i forced you to kiss me when you didnt want to and i feel really shitty about it and i-”

“hey,” you gently grab his hands “it’s okay, it was nice. i liked it” you smile, and kiss him on the cheek, turning away to go get ready for the shoot. you feel the heat in your cheeks.

during the shoot, you and spencer share the chunky knit blanket as shayne reads you some of the most outrageous stories you’ve ever heard, and you wonder how people online are comfortable enough to say this kind of stuff

afterwards, as you begin to leave, spencer catches up with you.

“(y/n)!” he shouts, catching up with you at your desk while you pack your bag “so um, i was wondering, and obviously feel free to say no, um, if you’d want to go to the fair with me on friday night?” he looks nervous, almost as if he feels he shouldn't ask you.

“yeah, yeah that’d be nice” you smile at him, and his eyes light up at your statement. he thanks you, and says he’ll text you about it later. walking outside, you meet angela and hop in the car.

“what’s got you in a good mood? you’re only ever this quiet when you’re happy. what happened? DID SPENCER-” she begins to interrogate you as you pull out of the lot

“yes, it’s to do with spencer. he asked me on a date.”

angela gasps so loud you swear she could break glass.

“OHMYGOD FINALLY!! I THOUGHT HE WAS IGNORING YOU THIS MORNING BUT HE WAS PROBABLY JUST NERVOUS OH MY GOSH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!” she bounces in her seat, rattling the car. you laugh, leaning away from the hyperactive puppy of a best friend you have.

over the next few days, you and spencer start hanging out a lot more and get a lot closer. you find yourselves sharing longing gazes across rooms, staying up late into the night just talking about life, and discovering things about each other you didn't know. each moment you spend together feels like a lifetime, the bond between you two deepening with every laugh. and then you realise something. you wanted to spend all you time with him.

fuck.

friday evening rolls around, and you’re sat at your desk finishing an edit, and waiting for arasha to bring you a coffee, when spencer walks over to you. his hair is messy, and he’s wearing a plaid shirt tucked in his worn in dickies, with a denim jacket over the top. he looks beautiful.

“you ready to go?” he says, cocking his head slightly

“just give me a minute, im just finishing up this edit and arasha’s bringing me coffee. but feel free to hang out here while i finish up!” you say looking up at him with a smile.

you finish the edit, and arasha walks over with courtney and shayne, and coffee in her hand.

“sup lovers! (y/n) here’s your overly sweet coffee,” she sets it down on your desk, then taking a sip of her own “so, big plans tonight spencer? you’re dressed up…” arasha says slyly, raising an eyebrow

“i mean if taking (y/n) on a date is big plans then, i guess so” spencer smiles at her

“HA! I KNEW IT! IAN AND YOU OWE ME 10 BUCKS EACH” courtney fist pumps the air, and shoves shayne in the shoulder

“ugh why do you always have to be right! you suck!” he dejectedly pulls a 10 dollar note out of his back pocket, and she pinches it with a “thank-you!”. you just look at them all, mouth agape.

“you placed bets on this!?” you look at courtney in shock.

“i mean, obviously. i knew you liked him, but we placed bets on how long it would take for anything to happen. my guess was a month and a week and hey, here we are”

“huh, weirdly specific but… go you!” you smirk at her, standing up to slide your jacket on.

“well, if you’ll exuse us, we have oversized bears to win” spencer smirks and holds his hand out for you to take, as you walk out the office together.

“awh,” tommy says, walking up to the three of them who were lingering near your desk “they’re so cute together!”

“sup nerds, what are we talking about?” ian jumps in

“ian give me my 10 dollars, spencer and (y/n) are going on a date as we speak” she grins at him

“ughhhhhh, fineeeeeeeee. you’re the worst court”

you and spencer hop in the car, and drive off to the fair, and as soon as you arrive, you run and buy a tub of cotton candy.

as you walk around, arms linked with spencer, you drag him to all the shitty games that you’re convinced are rigged.

“what!! no i definitely hit that one!” you stomp your feet like an upset child at the coconut shy, frowning because you didn’t get the giant giraffe teddy.

“watch this” spencer says confidently, and you gawk at him as he hits all the targets perfectly.

“how the hell did you manage that!” you say in amazement

he just laughs and passes you the giraffe “years of playing video games sometimes pays off”

you take the giraffe, and decide to call it amanda. so obviously, you send her a picture

//

amanderp 😚

———

you: [picture of you and the giraffe]

you: guess what i named it

amanderp 😚: giraffey?

you: nope, meet amanda ;)

amanderp 😚: omg i love you!! can she live at your desk? i want to meet her 😆😆

you: of course! i’ll bring her in on monday :))

//

you and spencer continue to sort of just walk around, giggling with eachother. as the night comes to a close, you get on the ferris wheel.

“its so pretty up here” you look out across the fair, the lights dancing over peoples faces as you sit at the top.

“yeah, makes you realise how pretty other things are” you turn to look at him, and he’s already looking at you. he looks at your lips, then back into your eyes. you close the distance between you both, pressing your lips together sofly, bringing your hand up to his hair and gently running your fingers through his curls. you break it apart, foreheads presses together, and he giggles

“hey whats funny!” you pout, sitting up and looking him in the eyes

“you taste like cotton candy. you taste like you. just overly sweet.”

you cant help but smile, leaning on his shoulder and lacing your fingers together. he looks down at you, and in that moment, you became his sunshine.

——————————

a/n: AHHH ITS FINISHED!! thank you all so much for the love on this series, it was so fun to write and it’s been so nice seeing your guys’ comments 💛💛 requests are open <3

#spencer agnew x reader #spencer agnew #smosh #shayne topp #courtney miller #arasha lalani #amanda lehan canto #angela giarratana #ian hecox #smoshyourheadin

[discotitsposts]

born to die

reader is secretly best friends with a famous singer

bau x reader

set in season 7 so 2012

“Have you guys heard about that new singer, Lana Del Rey?” JJ asked the team while waiting for the brief of the new case on the jet. Hotch and Rossi had taken up conversation in the corner leaving the younger team members some quality time. Derek shakes his head. You smile to yourself. Lana was actually a stage name and her real name was Elizabeth and she had been one of your best friends ever since you had met her in the seventh grade during an incident in Lake Placid.

The team didn’t know that though. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell them. It’s just that the topic had never come up before so you didn’t reveal it. You were very mysterious to them. Honestly you were just private.

Emily smiles, “Yes!! Her album is called ‘Born To Die’ it’s so good!”

Morgan tells you that he’s going to listen to it. He puts his headphones on and closes his eyes. He starts singing ‘Summertime Sadness’ out loud. Spencer looks around confused. Not being kept up on pop culture he had no clue who she was. You explain to him Lana’s vibe is very vintage and her voice is beautiful, which is why people love her. You, having heard her early music when she first started, are very excited about her newfound popularity.

“I heard she’s playing a show in New York soon, wanna go?” JJ asks Emily when the jet lands

“I’d love to!! Who else wants to go?” Emily looks around at everyone. Morgan raises his hand and says, “I’m in!”

They look at you and Spencer.

“How about you guys?” JJ asks with a big grin. Spencer stammers trying to think of an excuse when you say, “I can get the tickets for us. I have an in at the arena.” They nod excitedly. Spencer, being quite fond of you, nods.

“I’ll go. It might be fun.” He smiles at you. Hotch and Rossi were listening in and tell you they would like to join. You smile at them and shoot off a text to your so called contact at the arena. The performer herself.

You smile and put your phone down.

After the case, you’re all back on the jet.

“Hey you got a ticket for Penelope right, I called her and she said she would die to go.” Morgan asks you.

“Of course! Couldn’t leave her out.” You didn’t tell them you didn’t need to buy tickets.

When you get back to the BAU Penelope runs in.

“We’re actually going!! I’m so excited!! What should I wear!” She asks you.

“Whatever’s comfortable!” You respond while folding your sweater up and putting it in your bag.

“Hey do you know what section we’ll be in?” Emily asks looking up from her phone.

“Right up front.”

Everyone’s jaws drop. “You got us all front rows?” JJ asks. You nod.

Day of the show

You and the girls had gotten ready together in your hotel room. Rossi had ordered a limousine for everyone.

“Where are the tickets?” JJ asks when you get to the ticket station and the man holds his hand out to check for your tickets.

“Oh we don’t need tickets.” You laugh and look for a security guard. You motion everyone to follow you. They look at each other in confusion but follow you. You tell Ed the security guard your name and he tells you all to follow him. He brings you to a backstage room.

“Are we MEETING HER?” Penelope, JJ, Morgan, and Emily jump around screaming.

Lana walks in and everyone damn near passes out. She looks absolutely beautiful. She’s wearing a white dress with her hair big and heavy makeup. She spots you and grins.

“Hi! I’m so glad to see you!” She runs to you and gives you a big hug.

“I’m so proud of you! Look where you’re performing! How do you feel?” You ask.

“I know it’s so crazy. I’m feeling a huge adrenaline rush,” She smiles fiddling with her hands. “Maybe some nerves too.”

“Well you’re going to do amazing. Just think of it as the bar you used to play at and I’m gonna be right there cheering you on!” The whole team is watching you interact with her in such awe.

“Alright, I’m going on soon. Ed, can you take them to their row? Have fun everyone!” She squeezes your hands and waves at everyone as she walks to the door. She blows you a kiss and you blow one back and shake your hips. A secret handshake you guys made up.

Emily smacks your arm gently. “Why didn’t you tell us you’re friends with a singer who’s been all over the radio lately?”

“You didn’t ask me.” Their faces drop. They hadn’t asked you much of anything when you’d first joined. Everyone was nice they just hadn’t spoken to you about your personal life much. Therefore you hadn’t told them anything.

“Know anyone else famous?” JJ asks jokingly as if you might secretly be friends with a whole bunch of A-list celebrities.

“Ever hear of Taylor Swift?” She was also a good friend of yours. You show everyone a picture you had taken with a Tay a few weeks ago when you had gone to dinner with her. JJ almost faints.

The show was a blast and you all had fun. She played everything from Born To Die and her latest release, Paradise. You had even noticed Spencer seemed to like the song, Diet Mountain Dew. He had been tapping his fingers rhythmically to the beat. Lizzy had pointed at you and smiled and waved to you all during the show. Her voice live is so beautiful. After, you had all hung out with Lana and went to dinner with her and everyone was spilling with questions for her. You were laughing for hours with everyone.

“I heard Britney Spears is playing at a stadium nearby tomorrow.” Penelope winds some more spaghetti on her fork with Rossi giving her a disapproving look at the improper way she wound her pasta.

“Oh yeah. For ‘Femme Fatale’ she invited me to that. I might go. Who wants to join?” You speak as if you’re just asking them if they want to get coffee. Leaving everyone wondering how the hell you know all these people.

Needless to say, after that everyone asked you a lot more about yourself.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #bau x reader #bau team #mgg #matthewgraygubler #lana del rey #taylor swift #jj jareau #emily prentiss #penelope garcia #derek morgan

[babymetaldoll]

Baby, I'm yours - Chapter eight: “What if I’m someone I don’t want around?”

Warning: Angst, sadness, swearing, Spencer crying and reader is brokenhearted. Sorry. 

Summary: A few days before the wedding, reader discovers something Spencer had been hiding from her. And she doesn't feel like she can trust him again. 

Word count: 11,9K

A/N: I'm sorry... but... seriously, did you think I had forgotten about Spencer's mistake?

Series Masterlist | General Masterlist | Prequel’s Masterlist

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Spencer’s point of view

(Y/N) and I had successfully avoided JJ for an entire week. She had been pretty busy with her profiler course and case rotation. We had been busy freaking out with our wedding. Everything was ready and signed, but somehow our friends and family were making sure to keep up stressed and nervous about every single detail of the big day. Our vacation started in four days, our wedding was in twelve, and I still found it hard to believe (Y/N) actually wanted to marry me. But believe me, I wasn’t going to argue with her about it.

- “Just a few more days”- (Y/N) whispered as we held hands in the elevator- “Are you excited about our honeymoon?”

- “I am excited about being married to you, the trip is just a bonus”- she smiled and blushed as the elevator’s door opened in the BAU and immediately we were greeted by JJ and Emily’s voices as they walked our way.

- “Hotch says he's never seen a rookie profiler analyze and write up cases as well as you.”- Prentiss said, clearly to Jennifer.

- “He said that?”- and she acted surprised.

- “Oh shit”- (Y/N) whispered and I held her hand even tighter- “I don’t even want her at the wedding anymore.”

- “I know, chipmunk.”- I started walking faster and dragged (Y/N) with me the second Prentiss and Jennifer showed up by our side.

- “Hey, where have you guys been? I wanted to do brunch this weekend.”- JJ said as soon as we bumped into each other in the hall, but I continued walking and simply ignored her, as I heard (Y/N) reply.

- “We had to deal with some stuff about the wedding. Have you seen Garcia?”

- “Uh, she's with Rossi.”- Jennifer answered and stayed behind as we ran away from her as fast as possible. No, we weren’t being subtle about our anger. But if you asked us back then, we weren’t even trying to be.

- “Suddenly, four more days sound like an eternity”- (Y/N) murmured as we left our things at our desks and I simply shook my head.

- “You’ve got this, chipmunk, trust me. Next Monday we are going to be at home, having coffee on our own.”

- “In a week we are going to be picking up your mom and aunt Ethel from the airport”- I chuckled and shook my head- “But I get the point, just a few more days of this.”

Yes, we were not acting very maturely, I was aware of that. But we were mad and hurt and neither of us wanted to be the bigger man or woman. You get the point. It didn’t help that when we shared the whole story with Frank, Lu, and Mikey, they all supported us. No one should lie to a friend the way JJ lied to us. End of the story.

We had a case

- “I am having a Fellini festival at my house this weekend and I must serve the beautiful food of his country.”- Penelope was talking about food with Rossi, but I didn’t register much of what was being said around the table. I kept reading the book I had started that morning, doing my best to avoid eye contact with JJ, who sat right across the table from us.

- “Maybe you should show a Disney film and stick with burgers.”- Rossi replied and (Y/N) giggled. I held her hand underneath the table and played with her fingers for a minute, enjoying the soothing feeling of her presence.

- “You know, Rossi, you could always give Penelope a cooking lesson.”- I heard Morgan suggesting.

- “Oh, my gosh, that would be amazing. That would be like… that would be like the Iron Chef meets the BAU. And we could do it at your house!”- Garcia was way too excited about it already.

- “I don't have a house. I have a mansion.”- Rossi corrected her, and (Y/N) chuckled at those words.

- “All right, let's get started.”- Hotch’s voice made me leave the book on the table and I immediately glued my eyes on the screen ahead of us. Garcia stood up and started presenting the one that was meant to be the last case (Y/N) and I worked on before our wedding. Somehow, it felt exciting. It was also the first case with JJ officially as a profiler, which wasn’t exciting at all. It meant she was going to be out in the field with us and that only meant having to talk to her.

- “All right. Mes amis, you are jetting to Durant, Oklahoma, because in the last three days, two women have been found dead after being sexually tortured and then blinded with a sulfuric acid solution. Abby Elcott is our first victim, a 19-year-old art student. She was heading to campus for an advanced drawing class. She'd been missing for two days. The same goes for our second victim, Beth Westerly, 17. She had just finished her coffee shop shift and was on her way to a bar method class.”- Pen explained and nearly didn't breathe during her speech.

- “Both low-risk victims.”- Emily pointed out.

- “And obviously physically similar.”- (Y/N) added, considering both girls were young, tall, thin, and with long blonde hair.

- “How close are the two abduction sites?”- Rossi asked and Penelope showed them on the map on the screen.

- “Five miles apart at bus stops. Abby's cell was found near one, Beth's scarf near the other.”

- “Where were the dump sites?”- I asked and she quickly showed me.

- “One in an alley, the other in a field.”

- “So he stapled their eyes open, then he blinded them?”- JJ pointed out and turned to me, maybe waiting for my thoughts or reply. She didn’t get any. Instead, I focused my eyes on the paper and Morgan quickly started talking.

- “It's about power and control. Maybe he didn't want them to watch while he hurt 'em.”

- “Or it could be about shame.”- (Y/N) added and I quickly nodded.

- “Yes, ma cherié. Perhaps the unsub has disfigured himself. Blinding the victims leaves them helpless, lost, and totally dependent. Maybe a manifestation of how he sees himself in this world.”

I never refer to (Y/N) as "cherié" when we are working. Never. It hasn’t slipped in a briefing meeting before, and that day, I did it on purpose. Hotch turned to me and raised an eyebrow just as Emily nodded and continued with my point.

- “It is a form of enucleation, just without the scalpel.”

- “Exactly. His face is the last they see before darkness.”- (Y/N) added and looked at Emily as Hotch grabbed his notes and stood up.

- “Garcia, come up with a list of jobs that would give the UnSub access to sulfuric acid. The rest of us, wheels up in 30 minutes.”

- “We are not being subtle”- (Y/N) whispered as we sat side by side on the couch in the yet. That was our favorite spot when we wanted to be apart from the rest of the team.

- “Do we want to?”

- “No, but I was starting to enjoy not being scolded by Hotch after Ashley’s departure”- I held her hand and kissed it.

- “Four more days”- she nodded with a grin and sighed.

- “It’ll surely be weird not working for an entire month”

- “Oh, are you guys talking about your honeymoon?”- JJ showed up with Emily and I immediately grabbed a book. If it wasn’t work-related, I really didn’t want to talk to JJ.

- “Yes.”- (Y/N) simply replied and stayed quiet.

- “When do you leave?”- JJ asked her and kept looking at her

- “The day after the wedding.”

- “Which is your first stop?”

- “London. I’m gonna make us some tea before we take off.”- my fianceé said and stood up, running away from JJ. I focused on the book and didn’t move a muscle until I was sure JJ and Emily were no longer around me. I wasn’t holding anything against Prentiss, it was JJ the one I blamed, 100% for lying and never comforting (Y/N) or myself during our darkest days.

- “The victimology is very similar. Blonde-haired, blue-eyed teenage girls.”- Hotch started analyzing what we knew so far about the case. He sat by our side and went through the photos. (Y/N) and I kept taking notes as the rest of the team talked.

- “We believe they were each abducted near public transportation stops.”- JJ said and neither of us looked at her.

- “When was this photo taken?”- Prentiss asked and (Y/N) quickly answered.

- “Beth was caught on a bank surveillance camera three hours before she disappeared. That's a recent photo of Abby.”

- “So she wasn't found in the same clothes she was abducted in.”- Em showed us another picture in another outfit.

- “Maybe he changed them because hers were burned by the sulfuric acid.”- Rossi suggested and I answered.

- “It's possible. Sulfuric acid can turn human flesh into soap.”

- “Garcia, any recent similar cases in the surrounding area?”- Hotch asked.

- “Actually, yes. Two months ago, a prostitute and a runaway were both found raped and killed, and they had stab wounds to their eyes.”

- “So maybe he practiced on high-risk victims first.”- JJ pointed out the obvious, again.

- “And then advanced to chemical enucleation.”- Morgan added

- “Isn't that a rare paraphilia?”- JJ asked, and looked at me waiting for an answer. She didn’t get it. Instead, Emily replied.

- “Well, the chemical part is. It would exacerbate the pain.”

- “Like Ed Kemper”- Rossi said- “He's probably practicing on surrogates before going after the real object of his rage.”

- “Dave, you and I will talk to the parents. Morgan and Prentiss, go to the disposal sites. JJ, you (Y/L/N) and Reid to the abduction sites.”- Hotch divided chores and I quickly resumed my reading. (Y/N) shared with me her notes and we started talking about a possible geographical profile.

This wasn’t going to end well, I knew it. I was too mad at JJ to work with her, and (Y/N) was too mad at her as well to stop me.

(Y/N)’s point of view

Of course, Hotch would pair us with JJ that day. It was clear there was something off and he wanted us to work through our differences. Such a dad move. Spencer drove us in silence, all we ever talked about was the case. JJ tried to make small talk but neither of us replied much. As soon as we got to the first abduction site, Spencer walked fast and took a look around.

- “So, Beth got off the bus here and headed northwest toward class.”- Spencer said and looked at me.

- “Yes, she was on time which means she didn’t have much time to stop and chat with random people. Our unsub was fast.”- I added and followed him.

- “It's amazing no one witnessed her abduction.”- JJ said and Spencer’s answer was faster than mine.

- “Emily was buried six feet under and wound up in Paris, so I guess anything is possible, right?”

- “So that is what this is about.”- JJ replied, confirming what was obvious.

- “You know, maybe our unsub is a little bit like Bundy and he feigned an injury in order to get her to help him.”- I started talking and didn’t let Jeniffer continue with whatever it is that she wanted to say.

- “Spence, (Y/N), if you want to talk about…”- we both turned our backs to her and continued looking around like we had lost anything in those few blocks. We had in fact lost something: our trust in JJ.

- “Chipmunk, maybe he tried another tactic and was like, "Wow, you're really pretty. You should be a model. I can take your photo."

- “That’s a very common technique to get a girl’s attention, hon. But we have no proof of anything, just speculation.”

- “I'll take that as a no.”- JJ mumbled and tried to follow us.

- “Either one would disarm her.”- Spencer looked at me and I nodded.

- “Charm's quite the killer.”- JJ suggested and crossed her arms on her chest. I turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

- “So are tears.”- and the look in her eyes was both filled with pain and anger. Good, I wanted her to be mad at me the way I was mad at her.

- “Whatever his ruse was, the unsub most likely used it to get her into his vehicle.”- Spencer landed a hand on my shoulder and made me turn to him with a nod.

- “Well, if Abby was last seen at a bus stop a few miles away, then he definitely has means of transportation.”- JJ waited for us to reply, but we didn’t. Instead, Spencer held my hand and started walking me back to the van.

- “Hopefully, the disposal site will tell us more.”

I know I was being mean to my friend, but that friend had lied to me and my future husband right on our faces for months, mocking our pain. I didn’t even want to be in the same car as her that day, less having to pretend everything was ok.

Rossi was talking with the police when we got to the nearest disposal site. Spencer parked and I literally ran out of the van, to put as much distance between me and JJ as possible.

- “Again he’s disposing in an area frequented by homeless people.”- Rossi explained to us as we walked through a bunch of police force and forensics.

- “It's equidistant to the last two dump sites.”- Spencer pointed out. I kneeled down and took a look at the corpse. It was burned with what seemed to be acid around her face.

- “He burned her tongue with the chemical this time.”- JJ said, stealing the words from me.

- “So he removed her ability to taste.”- Rossi frowned and looked at the victim, trying to understand.

- “Why would he do that?”- one of the cops asked and Spencer immediately started explaining.

- “Historically, this kind of torture was used to prevent someone from revealing a secret.”

- “Can you imagine this was normal behavior?”- I asked and kept my eyes on the corps- “The number of people there would be walking around with their mouths burned with acid…”- I could feel JJ’s eyes on me as I spoke, but refused to look at her the entire time.

- “Maybe she offended him.”- the detective suggested.

- “I wonder what that's like.”- Spencer quickly replied. Yes, we were brats. And I still regret nothing.

- “Her lips are extremely chapped.”- Rossi’s words forced us to re-focus on the case.

- “Probably she was forced to repeatedly participate in some sort of kissing fantasy.”- I suggested and JJ decided it was a great moment to start talking again and basically just point out the obvious.

- “And when things go awry, he takes the offending sense away.”

- “He tortured her in these clothes, which means the eighties are essential to his delusion.”- Spencer ignored her and continued analyzing the victim’s outfit.

- “Yes, I would say that's when this rejection occurred and he held on to the clothes all these years.”- I added and looked at my fiance as he nodded at me in agreement.

- “And now he's attacking girls who remind him of women from that time.”- JJ concluded with an obvious opinion. Spencer just looked at me and said

- “He's fixated on her type and remake them fit his fantasy.”

- “But why start now?”- the detective asked. JJ made a pause and looked at us.

- “Something probably triggered it, and instead of dealing with it, he's acting out.”

Spencer and I looked at her at the same time. I raised an eyebrow as she stared at me, almost defiant.

- “Great analysis, Jennifer. Thank you for sharing.”- I replied as I felt Spencer’s hand in mine, crawling me away from the scene.

- “Four days is way too much time.”- I argued as I closed the SUV door and sighed. Spencer got behind the wheel and started driving us away from the crime scene in less than a minute.

- “I know, my cheriè. Just focus on the case, we have to solve this and go back home.”

- “Can’t we just elope, get married in Vegas, and leave for our honeymoon right now?”- I closed my eyes and rested my head on the seat. Spencer held my hand as he drove, and caressed my skin carefully with his long fingers.

- “You deserve way better than just eloping, chipmunk. You deserve the whole world and the perfect wedding.”- his words were sweet in contrast with the cruel reality we were dealing with.

- “The only thing I care about is getting married to you. The rest ain’t that important, as long as I have you.”- I opened my eyes and stared at him. He looked at me for a moment and continued driving. His cheeks were blushed and his eyes were teary. My sweet fiance never took compliments well, and I knew it. Still, I had to tell him how I felt, though it was still somehow nerve-wracking.

Yes, Spencer still made me feel nervous. The butterflies in my stomach were always crazy when I was around him.

- “So, how are we going to deal with JJ these days?”- I asked him and he hummed.

- “We should just try to stay away from her and don’t speak to her about anything that’s not case related.”

- “Easier said than done”- I mumbled.

- “I know, but what other choice do we have?”- I thought about it and sighed.

- “I’m still not sure I want her at the wedding.”

- “Me neither, chipmunk. Trust me.”

When we arrived at the station, Rossi and JJ were already there. Spencer and I had taken a detour to get iced coffee on our way back. It only took us five more minutes, but I could see on Hotch’s face he was already upset with us. That was not what I needed at the moment, but we were already deep into the mess.

Hotch didn’t say a word to us, instead, he gathered the police force and asked us to release the profile of the unsub. I could use some work to focus on, instead of my anger. So I stood up in front of the entire police department and started talking.

- “We believe the unsub, or unknown subject, that we're looking for is a white male in his 40s. This is someone who's reacting to rejection by a woman when he was a teenager in the 1980s. He's punishing his victims for their reactions to him by taking away their senses with sulfuric acid.”

- “We believe our unsub could possibly work part-time as a janitor or a mechanic, which would give him access to this chemical.”- Rossi added as I turned to Spencer and he smiled at me, nodding.

- “And after studying the disposal sites, we think it's likely that he is homeless.”- Morgan continued- “Now, how do we typically react toward the homeless? We judge them by their looks and smells. It's that same negative reaction we believe that a woman had toward the unsub at some point in the eighties.”

- “The unsub's fixation on this woman is now all-consuming.”- Prentiss started explaining- “It's caused him to develop obsessive love disorder. He most likely has tunnel vision and believes that she holds the key to his happiness. He will stalk her in an attempt to win her back.”

- “He will do whatever it takes to be near his love interest.”- I added -“But her rejection will spiral him into a depression.”

- “Which would lead to rape and murder of the surrogates who represent her.”- Spencer finally spoke and I nodded at his words immediately- “And it's only a matter of time before this rage and anger cause the unsub to go after her directly.”

Police exited the room after a few minutes. Hotch looked at me and nodded in what I figured was the approval of my presentation delivering the profile, and I thought things might actually be a little better. But JJ had other plans. She cornered Spencer in the briefing room and from what I could notice, she had started pushing him to talk about the whole issue. I quickly walked over and looked at her, crossing my arms on my chest, and looking seriously into her eyes.

- “What do you want Jennifer?”- I asked and she widened her eyes, surprised by my tone, I guess.

- “(Y/N), Spence. We gotta talk about this.”

- “I told you, we don't want to talk about it.”- Spencer answered and kept gathering some papers from the table. I started helping so he could finish quickly and get the fuck out of there.

- “I get it, ok? You're disappointed with the way we handled Emily.”

- “Listen, we have a lot going on, all right?”- Spencer didn’t even look at her, he kept his eyes on the files and folders as he tried to leave the room with me, but JJ stopped him.

- “You know what I think it is?”- her voice was suddenly defiant. Spencer stood in front of her and raised an eyebrow waiting for her speech.

- “What?”

- “You're mad that Hotch and I controlled our micro-expressions at the hospital and you weren't able to detect our deception.”- she said to my soon-to-be husband- “And you are mad ‘cos Hotch trusted me with the secret instead of you”- she added, staring at me. I opened my mouth to start cursing her, my hands shaking with anger. But Spencer stopped me. He held my hand and stood in front of me, basically shielding me from JJ’s bullshit.

- “You think it's about my profiling skills? That you just hurt our ego?”- and that bitch simply shrugged- “Jennifer, listen, the only reason you were able to manage my perceptions is because I trusted you.”

- “Spence…”- she tried to explain, but I took a step closer to her and held onto my boyfriend’s hand tight.

- “You really don’t know us if you think what you hurt is as mundane as our pride. I don’t care if Hotch wants you to know all his secrets. Under any other circumstances, I would have been happy for you. But not now, not like this, not after you laughed at us.”

- “Laughed?! (Y/N), when did I laugh at you?”- JJ was mad and hurt, her voice was shaky as she tried to defend herself.

- “We came to your house for 10 weeks in a row crying over losing a friend, and not once did you have the decency to tell us the truth.”- Spencer spat each word as JJ stared at us making her best to keep her shit together.

- “I couldn't!”

- “You couldn't? Or you wouldn't?”- I questioned her and she looked at me with tears in her eyes.

- “No, I couldn't, (Y/N).”

- “What if I started taking Dilaudid again? Would you have let me?”- Spencer questioned her and the thought of him getting back into drugs slapped me all of a sudden. Yes, I had considered that option, but Reid never gave me any sign he might actually fall back into old habits.

- “You didn't.”

- “Yeah, but I thought about it.”- Spencer held my hand tight and started walking out of the room with me.

- “Spence!”- JJ begged, as tears started falling down her eyes. But my boyfriend didn’t even flinch. He looked at her and shrugged, annoyed, and started walking away again.

- “I’m so sorry”- JJ whispered, looking at me.

- “It’s too late for that, alright?”- I answered, shaking my head, and followed Spencer on his way out of the station.

- “Spence, (Y/N)”- I heard Prentiss calling our names and I turned to look at her. She was puzzled and probably feeling guilty. But we held nothing against her. It was all JJ. She was our problem.

- “We are gonna get in trouble with Hotch after that”- I said as I sat on the front steps of the station. Spencer stood in front of me, arms crossed on his chest as he continued walking back and forth.

- “I’m sorry, chipmunk.”

- “Why are you apologizing for?”

- “I think I might have pushed it a little too far against JJ”- I shook my head and sighed. I wanted to ask but I was afraid of the answer. But I figured I had to do it just as a band-aid. Quick and painless.

- “You didn’t actually think about taking Dilaudid again, right?”- my question was meant to be an affirmation, but it sounded so insecure and shaky, that I embarrassed myself. I looked at my hands as I asked and waited for Spencer’s answer. He sighed and looked at me, walking to me and kneeling in front of me.

- “Of course not, chipmunk. I would never do that to you.”- I sighed relieved and smiled at him, feeling his lips on mine as his hands cupped my face carefully.

- “Thank god. I don’t think I could ever go through that again.”- I admitted as he rubbed his lips against mine. I kept my eyes closed, enjoying the sensation and the warmth of his touch- “I just love you too much. It would kill me to see you in so much pain one more time.”

- “Don’t worry, ma cherie. That’s never gonna happen.”- he whispered and kissed me again. This time embracing me with a passion and love he didn’t usually share during working hours. His tongue parted my lips and explored my mouth sweetly, tasting every inch. I let out a soft moan, and that just encouraged him. His hands moved from my cheeks to my waist, pulling me against his body, making me feel loved and cared for. And by the way, he was holding me so tight, anyone would say Spencer was afraid I was going to escape.

- “Come on, cool off”- I managed to whisper, still feeling him rubbing his lips against mine- “We are still at work. And already in trouble with our boss, I am afraid.”

- “I’m so sorry”- he mumbled and sighed, kissing my lips one more time before moving from me and starting to pace in front of me.

- “We should try to solve this case so we can go home and… share rooms again.”- I said and winked, trying to cheer him up.

- “Are you really going to marry me?”- Spencer asked all of a sudden. I raised an eyebrow as I stared at his sweet chocolate eyes, staring at me, waiting for an honest answer. Where did all that insecurity come from?

- “Not only will I marry you, I am also going to be with you until death do us part.”

Spencer’s point of view

I didn’t only feel like scum, but I was also terrified. Why did I have to mention Dilaudid in front of (Y/N)? Why was I so emotional and careless to say the one word that could bring this whole relationship to an end? I just wanted to hurt JJ, I know. But I was irresponsible. I was stupid. And the worst part was knowing I had no time to think about it. I had to solve a case first and pretend everything was ok later. I didn’t want (Y/N) to worry or see through me, read my insecurities and my truth.

I did what I did best, I hid at work and dragged (Y/N) along with me, to keep her from thinking about me and Dilaudid ever again. We started talking about the case, went through all the information we had, and decided we might have made a mistake in our profile. We might have overlooked one detail that could change the unsub we were looking for dramatically.

- “I don’t wanna go in there after the scene we made”- my girlfriend whispered as soon as we stepped into the police station. The team was gathered in a meeting room and I knew she wasn’t ready to deal with the consequences of my outburst. But we had to work.

- “I’m here chipmunk. Nothing is gonna happen. You know that right?”- I whispered and cut her a warm smile, trying to reassure her I was going to protect her. I would, I wanted to. I needed to know I was able to keep her safe from any harm. She nodded as my thumbs carefully caressed her cheeks for a moment. I knew that wasn’t the correct behavior, but honestly, I didn’t care anymore. Nothing was ever going to stop me from protecting (Y/N).

We walked into the meeting room as if nothing had happened earlier and I simply started talking.

- “I don't think we're dealing with a typical homeless person.”- and just like that, the entire team looked at me- “He's good with chemicals, and owns a car. I think the only mistake in our profile was assuming there was something wrong with his physical composition, reducing him to some sort of stereotype.”

- “You think it's only his mental state?”- Rossi questioned.

- “I think this guy might be smart enough to use his disability to his advantage so he comes across as harmless.”

- “And then, when he's alone and the victim rejects him, he goes off.”- (Y/N) added, crossing her arms on her chest, trying not to show how uncomfortable she felt.

- “What if he doesn't live on the street? What if he's in a halfway house?”- JJ asked and I kept my eyes on Hotch. He just grabbed his phone and dialed.

- “Garcia, I need a list of halfway houses and mental health centers in the unsub's comfort zone.”

- “Ok. Five are being sent to your phones.”- we all heard Penelope announcing.

- “Which of those were around in the eighties, Garcia?”- (Y/N) asked.

- “There are two in your area, munchkin.”

- “Morgan and Prentiss, take the first.”- Hotch announced- “Dave and I will take the second.”

- “What about us?”- JJ asked the obvious question and I unconsciously landed a hand on (Y/N)’s back, trying to comfort her.

- “Stay here and check ViCAP for similar M. O.s and signatures.”- everyone stepped out of the room, including (Y/N), who walked to the desk where she had left all the folders. And just as I started following her, Hotch called me.

- “Reid.”- I knew what this was about, and I was glad he was talking to me and not with her. She really didn’t have to be scolded this time- “If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me.”

I hesitated for a second, trying not to look him in the eyes ‘cos it was still something very hard for me to deal with. I was mad at my friend, not at my boss. And no matter how close Aaron was with us, he wasn’t technically my friend. He was closer to a father figure than anything else.

- “I can't. I didn't come to your house crying for ten weeks.”- that was the only explanation I could give him, ‘cos it was my truth.

The following morning we had a missing girl and still no suspect. (Y/N) hadn’t mentioned Dilaudid again and I was praying for the word to simply vanish from her vocabulary. I had made my best to keep her focused on the case and on the wedding. But it was challenging at the moment, ‘cos Hotch had decided to pair me with Rossi and leave her on the station with JJ. And no matter how much I begged him, he didn’t change his mind.

- “So kids spill out of the motel toward the cars. If Tammy walked this way, how could she disappear without anyone seeing her?”- Rossi said as we walked out of one of the rooms and analyzed the whole perimeter.

- “Someone would have heard her scream.”- I answered, taking a look around, trying to picture the entire place filled with teenagers.

- “That's if she screamed. Unlike the last three abduction sites, this one is nowhere near public transportation. Maybe she knew the unsub.”

- “Or thought she did.”- I ramble and catch a glimpse of empathy in Rossi's eyes- “What if Tammy was the target all along? That would explain the change in the M. O.”

- “So whoever did this knew she was coming here.”

- “I’m gonna call Hotch”- I grabbed my phone and quickly dialed. I also wanted to call (Y/N) and ask her if she was ok alone at the police station with JJ. But I couldn’t. After I hung up with Hotch, Rossi grabbed my arm and stopped me.

- “Kid, after Prentiss came back things have been hard on the entire team, not just you.”- suddenly I knew exactly where that was going, and I didn’t appreciate it one bit.

- “Rossi, thank you, but I don’t wanna talk about this right now.”

- “I’m just trying to tell you you are not the only one who feels betrayed. But you can’t just be mad at JJ for doing her job.”

- “Her job? So her job was to lie to us, even when she saw us at our lowest for weeks?”- I was doing my best not to raise my voice, but I knew I was failing at that task. I really was running low on patience that day and I didn’t want to continue talking about the same subject.

- “This was bigger than just sharing information, kid.”- Rossi stood in front of me and looked straight into my eyes, something I wanted to avoid by all means- “This was about keeping Prentiss alive, and Hotch knew that.”

- “But that secret nearly killed us.”- I argued back and looked down at my shoes- “(Y/N) was in deep grief, and for a minute I thought I was going to lose my sanity. This hit us hard, and JJ saw us, she was there, and she didn’t do anything.”

- “Only because she couldn’t! Not because she didn’t care about you.”

- “I don’t even care about me anymore, it’s the hurt on (Y/N) that bothers me the most. I don’t ever wanna see her crying like she did when we thought Emily was dead.”- I started walking back to the car.

- “You can’t keep her from pain, Reid. That’s just life. But as her husband you can support her and love her through the rough times.”- Rossi followed me and got into the SUV- “And maybe helping her forgive JJ and leaving this whole deal behind might be the right thing to do.”

I looked at David knowing there was nothing I could ever say that might help him understand how I felt. So I decided not to argue with him anymore and just leave the whole deal alone. I simply nodded and grabbed my phone as it hummed, letting me know I had a new text.

- “I’ve got a cupcake with your name on it”- I read and smiled.

- “I know the feeling, Reid”- Rossi said after a few minutes of driving in silence- “How it feels like when your blood boils in anger when you see someone hurting the woman you love.”- I looked out of the window and sighed. I really didn’t want to continue with the lecture.

Lucky for me, Morgan called and told us there was a suspect. We finally got a name. And two garages he worked on. In two hours, we had the unsub at the station, and Prentiss and Morgan were on their way with the police to get the latest victim, luckily alive. It was her own uncle who kidnapped and tortured her. Rossi was right, it was someone she knew.

By the end of the day, we were on the jet, on our way back home. (Y/N) was asleep on the couch by my side, and I entertained myself with a few books before we landed. Anything to keep me from thinking, or from talking with JJ.

- “So, the surgeon said he believes he can restore feeling to Tammy's hands.”- Emily whispered as she sat in front of me suddenly. I kept my eyes on the book and simply replied.

- “Good. We got there in time.”

- “I heard Mr. Bradstone wants to watch the tape.”- she continued talking, not getting the hint I wasn’t in the mood for a conversation. I still felt guilty about it though. There she was, alive and well, and I still didn’t feel like having a conversation with her despite the fact I had missed her for over ten weeks.

- “People have an innate curiosity to see things in order to confirm them.”- I replied and turned the page of my book.

- “Oh, that explains why I'm going to Rossi's tomorrow night. I want to see if he really can cook. You guys coming?”- she sounded so happy, so excited to spend time with us. So alive, if that makes any logical sense.

- “I don't know. I'm not so sure we can make it. We still have some things about the wedding we have to take care of”- I lied between my teeth knowing she would see through my deceit in a second.

- “Look, Reid, I know you're mad at us because we didn't tell you what really happened, and I understand that. But I promise you, we had no choice.”- she made a long pause and I felt her eyes on me, so I looked at her for a second, feeling my heart tighten into my chest. I wasn’t mad at her, I was glad she was there, alive and trying to preach to me. It was hard not to smile at her.

- “You mourned the loss of a friend. I mourned the loss of 6.”- I opened my mouth, but not a word came out of it. (Y/N) moved on her seat and I turned to her, afraid we might have woken her up. But no, she was still out.

- “This whole thing gave me an ulcer. Please don't give me another one. Are you gonna go to Rossi's tomorrow?”

- “We'll see.”- I whispered, knowing she had a point. I was still mad at JJ, but I knew I had to leave it behind for the sake of our mental health, and the team.

- “Also, I need to throw a bachelorette party for your future wife, so please don’t let her be mad at me any longer. I miss her.”- Prentiss whispered as she stood up and walked away. I looked at (Y/N) and sighed. All I wanted was to see her happy. Would forgiving JJ help her smile again?

Wednesday night I drove us to Rossi’s after a long talk. We didn’t want to be the ones causing trouble in the team, though I knew it was going to take more than just a cooking class for us. We were mad at JJ and a part of the trust had been broken. But (Y/N) had made a point after we discussed it.

- “We’ve been through a lot in the last six years. I don’t wanna let this argument get the best of us. And arguing with JJ is exhausting.”

I agreed with her only because I wanted to see her happy. I was still upset with the whole deal, but if she was ready to put it behind us, then so it should be.

Still, it was weird driving over to Rossi’s after everything we had done that week. I knew we hadn’t been nice or even mature dealing with the whole deal, and clearly, we were going to have to work on an apology for the team in the close future.

- “Reids! You made it!”- Morgan opened the front door and smiled at us - “Come in, we were just getting started.”- I closed the door behind our back and walked to the kitchen, where Rossi held a pan with what seemed to be onion and pancetta.

- “We can still turn around and leave”- I whispered and felt (Y/N)’s hand squeezing mine.

- “Let’s just endure it and when we are back home, maybe I will reward you, daddy.”- she murmured in my ear and giggled.

- “Hands where I can see them”- Morgan teased and (Y/N) giggled.

- “Sorry we are late”- I waved and took a look at the team. JJ turned to us and smiled shyly, almost scared we were going to snap at her… as we had done for the last week. I cut her an awkward smile and stood by the kitchen aisle, next to (Y/N).

- “Are we drinking already?”- she asked as Rossi put two glasses of red wine in front of us.

- “He hasn’t let us even sip it!”- Garcia complained immediately.

- “Yes, when do we get to drink the wine?”- Emily asked.

- “Almost there”- Rossi answered, still fully focused on the pan- “Ok, we start at the beginning. You eat what you cook, I'll supervise, but we're gonna do this all together, just like a family.”

- “Ok now?”- JJ asked raising her glass of wine

- “Now.”- Rossi grabbed his glass and raised it. We all followed him, saying cheers.

- “Do we all really have to cook?”- Emily asked leaving her glass on the table a few seconds later.

- “Yes, we do.”- David replied and raised an eyebrow.

- “Come on, zombie Prentiss, you don’t even have to chop the onion!”- (Y/N) argued, making me chuckle at the nickname.

- “Did you just call me a zombie?”- Emily widened her eyes.

- “Weren’t you dead a few days ago?”- (Y/N) replied with an adorable smile.

- “You are so lucky I love you, (Y/N).”- Prentiss added and hugged my girlfriend carefully.

- “Rumor says around the BAU that you wanted to throw me a bachelorette party.”- Emily’s face lightened up with those words.

- “I do! We do! Are you serious?! Can we all?”- I looked at Garcia and JJ and the two of them seemed to be both excited and nervous about the answer.

- “Of course, you can! I was counting on it! You and Lu are my only girlfriends ever!! You are basically my entire bridesmaid's squad!”

- “Did you hear that, pretty boy? Your lady is going out with her friends”- Morgan sipped his wine and looked at me raising an eyebrow- “That means we have to schedule your bachelor party as well.”

- “And don’t forget to invite Mikey and Frank!”- (Y/N) added looking at our friend.-“They would go bonkers if they miss a stripper party.”

- “Are you gonna let him go?”- Morgan asked her, almost shocked.

- “Why wouldn’t I? He is not gonna cheat with a stripper, most likely, he will try not to even touch one because of the number of germs they might have.”- I shook my head and sipped my glass of wine as everybody around us laughed. My girlfriend was right, one more time.

- “Alright kids, let’s cook!”- Rossi commanded and guided us to the stove. (Y/N) turned to me and smiled. She seemed happy, and that was all that mattered at that minute to me.

(Y/N)’s point of view

Around ten, after we cooked and enjoyed dinner, Rossi invited us out to his patio for a drink. I was excited to have a glass of his favorite scotch, ‘cos damn! that thing was good!

- “If Spencer asks, can you tell him I went out for a second to pick something from the car?”- I asked Penelope, who was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend was currently helping Rossi with the booze, and I didn’t want him to get worried.

It was a cold night and I had forgotten to bring my jacket inside the house. I wasn’t even sure I had brought one along, but I knew I had some of Spencer’s in the trunk of the car ‘cos I has planned to have them dry clean before our honeymoon.

I opened the trunk and went through some of the bags we had there. I knew I had to take a minute of my day to clean the back of that car, but days were crazy at that point in life, and I didn’t have enough time. I just grabbed one of Spencer’s jackets (one of my favorites) and put it on. I knew he wasn’t going to get mad at me ‘cos he loved to see me in his clothes. Besides, I loved wearing anything of his, ‘cos it felt like he was hugging me the entire time.

I rushed back inside the house and closed the door behind my back. I could hear our friend’s laughter from the backyard and made my way over quickly, chilling. I put my hands inside the pockets as I walked faster, seeing Spencer waiting for me, standing next to my seat, holding a glass of scotch.

But in a second, I stopped. I felt something inside the pocket. My hand grabbed a small bottle. I took it and simply looked at it as my entire world crumbled in a second. It was Dilaudid. A whole bottle of that shit, hidden in my boyfriend’s jacket.

I held it, as tears filled my eyes. I felt my breath leave my lungs, as everything I thought was real turned into a bunch of lies. Spencer had Dilaudid this entire time. I was about to marry a liar, and clearly, a drug addict.

- “(Y/N)?”- he called out my name as he stared at me from the other side of the room. I kept my eyes glued to the bottle for a few minutes before I turned to him. He was pale, in shock and petrified I knew his secret.

- “(Y/N), wait!”- I heard him beg as I turned around and ran out of Rossi’s. I ran as fast as I could until I made it to the car and started it.

- “(Y/N)! Please stop!! Let me explain!!”- Spencer yelled and tapped on the window of the car before I started the engine and drove away as fast as I could, leaving him screaming behind.

No, I didn’t want his explanations, I didn’t want to hear anything from him. I wanted to get away from that fucking liar as fast as possible.

He got drugs. He was using again. All that shit he kept saying about him never lying to me was nothing but bullshit. My hands were shaking as I drove with no destination. I didn’t want to go back to our apartment. I didn’t want to go anywhere he could find me. I wanted to disappear and get away from Spencer Reid.

I had never felt like that before. Not even once. I guess I had never felt betrayed by him before.

I tried to find my cell phone or my purse, but as I rushed out, I left them at Rossi’s. It was a good thing in a way, at least Spencer wasn’t going to call me. So I just drove and cried for a good hour, trying to put as much distance as possible between us. I didn’t even have the keys to our apartment, but I didn’t want to go there. I didn’t want to go anywhere, I just wanted to disappear. I didn’t have a wallet or my ID either. Not even my badge… but at that minute all I could think of was Spencer using Dilaudid and fooling me about it. Since when? Where was he using? After I slept? During cases?

And why did he relapse? It just wasn’t fair! Was it because of Emily’s dead? Maybe what he had said to JJ that week wasn’t a lie and he had gotten drugs to avoid thinking about Prentiss and simply numb himself.

How couldn’t he just trust me? Tell me he was feeling weak? I would have helped him, I would have given my life for him! How could he just betray me like that? He claimed to love me more than anyone else on earth, but how was he doing such a thing behind my back?

- “I hate you!!”- I yelled, sobbing as I hit the wheel.

I drove over two hours without a destination. In silence. I swear I couldn’t even think straight. I couldn’t hold a thought in my head. I mostly just sobbed and cursed. I knew I wasn’t going to go home that night, and I couldn’t just crush Penelope’s or Prentiss’. Spencer would definitely look for me at Frank’s, Lu’s, and Mikey’s. So I turned to the one person I didn’t want to be with during those circumstances, most of all because I didn’t want to explain anything and she was going to ask too many questions.

- “Baby, what are you doing here so late?”- mom opened the front door and stared at me in shock. My chin just quivered and I started crying again- “Oh my god! What happened? Are you hurt?”- she opened her arms and held me tight.

- “Can I stay here tonight?”

- “Of course, baby! Come on inside! You are shaking! Let me make you some tea.”

- “Can you make it a scotch?”- mom didn’t argue, she just nodded as she closed the door behind our back.

- “What happened?”- I followed her to the kitchen and sat at the aisle, watching her pouring a glass of scotch for me and one for her.

- “Spencer and I had an argument and I don’t wanna see him right now.”

- “Why? Oh my god! Did he cheat? ‘Cos if he did, I’m gonna kill him!”- I shook my head as I stared at mom’s face turning red with anger in a second.

- “No, but he lied and I found out the hard way. It’s… I don’t wanna talk about it, mom.”- Sofia just walked to me and hugged me. I had to bite my lips not to continue crying.

- “My baby, and a week before the wedding. There isn’t a worse time for an argument than this.”

The wedding. I had forgotten. But I couldn’t think of that at that minute. I was too upset to collect my thoughts and be rational. I just wanted to drink and forget at that minute.

Of course, I wasn’t going to be able to do either of those things, ‘cos the bell rang, and then someone knocked at the door frantically. I knew I had hidden the car in the garage, if Spencer was there looking for me, he couldn’t know I was in fact in the house.

- “That’s him. I am not here”- I said to my mom and grabbed my glass, running upstairs. Mom sighed and walked to the door. I hid upstairs and closed my eyes, in a futile effort to turn invisible, I think.

- “Spencer! What happened? You scared me! Is there something wrong? Is my daughter ok?”

- “Sofia, I am sorry to bother you so late at night, but… have you seen (Y/N)?”

- “No, I haven’t seen her in days. Why? What happened? Is everything ok?”- I have to give kudos to my mom, she is an excellent actress. I was sure she was fooling Spencer.

- “We… we just had a small argument and she ran off. I am worried ‘cos she left her cell phone and her keys and I don’t know where she is.”

- “I am so sorry to hear that Spencer, but if it was a small argument, I am sure she will reconsider and come back home very soon.”

- “If she comes over, would you please tell her to come home? I need to talk to her and explain how things happened. I don’t want her to make any rushed decision.”- Spencer begged, and my heart kept breaking with every word. A part of me wanted to hold him, and an even bigger part of me wanted to smack the shit out of him. Fucking liar.

- “I will if I see her. But you know, Spencer, my daughter doesn’t usually turn to me for help. Did you try at Frank’s, Lu or Mikey’s? Maybe they have seen her.”- mom’s voice was smooth and confident. Best performance of her life.

- “I did… now they are mad at me too.”- Spencer mumbled- “Well… if you know anything…”

- “I will definitely call you.”

- “Thank you, Sofia.”

Mom closed the door and I finished what was left in my glass in one shot. After a few minutes, when I heard him closing his car door, I stood up and walked downstairs.

- “He seemed honestly concerned, honey. He wasn’t pretending.”

- “I know”- I whispered as I walked into the kitchen and poured myself another drink- “I’m not saying he is a bad person, I’m saying he fucked up way too much for me to just simply forgive him. I don’t even wanna see him right now.”

- “But if he didn’t cheat, what did he do?”

I opened y mouth and no word came out. Did I want to tell my mom the truth about Spencer?

- “He still lied about something very serious, mom. Please don’t ask me all the details now.”

- “Fine, I’m not gonna push you. But you know you can trust me, right peanut?”- mom held my hand and I nodded. I knew we didn’t have the best relationship, but I knew she loved me.

- “Thank you.”

- “Now let’s try to get some sleep, you still need to go to work tomorrow and deal with this mess.”

I groaned at the thought of getting up early and going to work, mostly ‘cos it meant being with Spencer and seeing the rest of the team. I was sure they had a lot of questions too.

My room was a time capsule. Mom always kept my and my brother’s rooms clean and almost ready for us to come back. I didn’t want to deal with that sign of her denial at the minute, I had too much on my plate by then. I sat on my bed and looked at the posters on the wall. That was the last place I pictured myself a week before my wedding. That was another thing I didn’t want to think about: The wedding. How could I marry a man I didn’t trust anymore?

I lay on my old bed and stared at the ceiling. There were still some glow-in-the-dark star stickers up there. I remembered the day we got them at the mall, and Mikey helped me put them on the ceiling, ‘cos he was way taller than me at the time (and still is).

- “Hello?”- thinking about Mikey made me want to talk to him- “Nugget?”

- “Yeah, hey.”

- “What happened? Doc showed up here a while ago, asking if I had seen you…”

- “We fought.”- I whispered.

- “Figured.”- my friend sighed as I just laid on my bed, in silence- “So you are at your mom’s.”

- “Yeah, calling from my old room, old telephone… if things go wrong I can always choke myself with the cord.”

- “Loving your positivity, girl. What happened?”- I sighed and thought about my words before I answered, I knew I could trust Mikey, I just… I don’t know. It hurt too much to think about what had just happened, I guess.

- “He lied.”

- “Did he cheat?”- I chuckled thinking that would, of course, be the worst scenario for everybody.

- “Not technically. But he did lie about… remember when I helped him detox a million years ago?”

- “Yeah…”- Mikey made a pause and gasped- “He started using again?!”- I don’t know why I nodded if he couldn’t see me- “Did you see him getting high? Was he violent?”

- “No. I found a bottle of Dilaudid in his jacket.”

- “Shit.”

- “Yeah.”- I took a deep breath and made the biggest effort to keep my tears back. I didn’t want to cry “in front” of Mikey or of anyone as a matter of fact.

- “I’m gonna kill him.”

- “Not if I kill him first. And as far as I remember, I’m the one carrying a gun.”- I could feel my friend’s hesitation through the line. Was I serious or was I kidding? Not even I knew.

- “Nugget… did he give you any explanation? Did he even try to justify his actions?”

- “I refused to talk to him. I was too mad. He didn’t tell me felt that bad. He never hinted he might start using again, and just a few days ago he denied getting drugs or even thinking about using again. There is nothing to explain. He is a drug addict and a liar. And I don’t wanna know what he has to say.”

- “I can’t believe he is doing this to you. He loves you so much.”

- “Well, apparently, he loves that fucking needles more than he loves me.”- I didn’t want to believe my own words, but honestly, at that point, they seemed to be true.

- “Wanna come over tomorrow? Frank and Lu could come too, we can talk this through, try to…”

- “Thanks. I am not really sure I wanna see anyone right now.”

- “That’s why I said tomorrow, nugget. Not today.”- I kept my eyes glued to the ceiling for a moment, not saying a word. Mikey sighed again and probably rolled in bed.

- “Remember when we got those glow-in-the-dark star stickers for my ceiling?”

- “Yeah, we were twelve or something. Why do you ask?”

- “You and Frank made fun of me and Lu and said these things were gonna fall in an hour, and they are still there.”

- “So? I will start trusting industrial glue from now on.”

- “They lasted more than my relationship with Reid.”

- “Don’t say that, (Y/N). Don’t. Not until he explains what actually happened.”

- “What? Are you on his side now? Did he melt you with his useless explanations when he stopped by your place?”

- “No. I’m just saying don’t make any decision just yet. Not until you talk to him.”

- “I don’t wanna talk to him.”

- “You are mad today, but tomorrow you’ll see things much clearer.”

- “I’m not so sure about that, Mikey. I’ll talk to you tomorrow and I’ll let you know.”

- “If you don’t call me in the morning, I’m gonna stop by your work at lunch.”

- “You haven’t done such a thing ever since I started working at the BAU. Why should I believe you?”

- “I dunno. To surprise you?”

- “Good night Mikey.”

- “Don’t make any rushed decision, nugget. Spencer loves you.”

- “So what if he does? He lied, got drugs, and didn’t tell me how he felt. What kind of love is that?”

- “He is only human, (Y/N). You can’t ask him to be perfect. He is gonna fuck up, but he can redeem himself, can he?”

Honestly, I didn’t know if he could. You see, lying is one thing, but lying and using drugs after promising me you were never going to do it again, that’s a completely different thing.

- “Good night Mikey.”

Spencer’s point of view

The second I saw (Y/N) walk into the house with that damn jacket, I knew what was gonna happen. It all hit me quite fast. My mistake. The fact I had actually forgotten I had gotten that shit was my first and biggest mistake. Why didn’t I get rid of it when I could? How could I forget I had it around? Hidden. I should have known I couldn’t hide anything from her. Why did I even try?

- “(Y/N)?”- the look in her eyes was brokenhearted as she stared at me from the other side of the room. Not a single word left her lips. She was struggling not to cry, and I was starting to panic.

- “(Y/N), wait!”- I begged and started walking toward her as she turned her back to me and basically scaped out of the house.

- “(Y/N)! Please stop!! Let me explain!!”- I ran after her and watched her get into her car. Her eyes were filled with tears as she started the engine and drove away from me, leaving me alone, with all my explanations.

- “Spencer? What the hell happened?”- Penelope showed up as I started sobbing, my lips quivering as I made my best not to cry, ‘cos I honestly didn’t want to give our friends any kind of explanation about what had just happened.

- “I need to go.”- I mumbled and turned back into the house to get our things.

- “Spencer!”- Garcia yelled and followed me closely.- “What the hell happened? Why did (Y/N) run away so fast?”

- “Kid?”- Morgan was waiting at the door, but I didn’t reply to him either. I just gathered all of our things, turned to Rossi, and nodded.

- “I’m sorry, but I have to go. Thank you for everything, David.”

- “Reid.”- Hotch stopped me and walked me to the door.- “Is (Y/N) ok?”

- “I… I don’t know.”

- “Is everything ok between you two?”

- “I honestly don’t know.”- I didn’t want to answer any of those questions, but after such a scene, it felt necessary, I guess- “I’m sorry about all this. I have to go”- Hotch didn’t say another word, he just nodded as I ran out of the house, desperately searching for a cab.

- “Shit, shit, shit”- I walked down the street, carrying (Y/N)’s purse, looking for a taxi. I wanted to call her, ask where she was, stop her angst, and tell her I hadn’t used a drop of drug ever since she helped me rehab four years ago.

She wasn’t going to talk to me after this, I knew her. She was going to close emotionally, and honestly, so would I after that massive fuck up. I knew I had broken her heart. I had ruined her trust. And I didn’t know how to fix that. Just a few days ago she had told me she knew she wouldn’t be able to deal with me using drugs again, and now she just found drugs in my pocket. Why am I so stupid?! How could I let this happen? Why did I have to be so stupid to get that fucking bottle of Dilaudid?

A cab finally appeared and I basically jumped into the back seat.

- “Where to, chief?’”

- “1333 Connecticut Ave.”

I gave the driver Frank’s address, which was closest (technically) but also was the one person (Y/N) would turn to first in case of trouble. But… she knew I knew that which meant she wasn’t going to go there first. I groaned and held my head with both hands as I tried to think clearly. I could do it for a case, I could do it with any other problem in life. But when it came to (Y/N), I just couldn’t do it.

I was desperate. I felt I was running out of oxygen. I wish I didn’t know her so well because I had clear how screwed I was. Of all the things on earth I could ask (Y/N) for forgiveness, I knew drugs were a topic she would never be merciful with. She hated me, of that I was sure. I hated myself so at least we agreed on something.

- “Here we are”- the driver announced, but I was already halfway out of the cab, I threw him a twenty and ran to Frank’s door. I pushed his apartment ring so many times, I was afraid I had broken it.

- “What the fuck?!”

- “Frank! Sorry! It’s Spencer!”

- “Doc! Come on up!”- he opened the door for me and I ran the four floors to his door. Halfway up I realized it was obvious (Y/N) wasn’t there: Frank opened the door. He would have never done it if he knew what I had done.

- “Is everything ok? Is (Y/N) ok? Where is she?”- Frank stood by the opened door and looked at me with terror in his eyes. I don’t know what I looked like, running frantically inside his apartment and searching around for my fiance.

- “I am looking for her! Have you seen her? Is she here?”- I tried to breathe, but it was honestly getting harder every second. Frank closed the door confused and walked to me, holding both my shoulders and staring at me.

- “What the fuck are you talking about, doc? Where is (Y/N)?”

- “I don’t know where she is. We… we had a fight and she ran away.”- my friend frowned and stayed still for a second, processing all the information.

- “What? You two had an argument? Why? What did you do?”- it was very sweet of him to assume I had done wrong. He was also very right.

- "She… we… I had..."

- "Frank?"- I heard a female voice coming from his room and my heart skipped a beat. I let him go and ran over, opening the door just to find… a naked girl in his bed.

- "(Y/N)!! Shit! Sorry!"- the poor girl covered herself and screamed as I quickly turned around, bumping into Frank- "I'm sorry I didn't know you had a friend over."

- "What the fuck are you doing, Reid?! Where is (Y/N)? What the fuck did you do to her?"- Frank shouted in my face as I tried to focus.

- "She is mad at me and won't let me explain anything. She just ran off after…"- I looked at his closed bedroom door but still felt uncomfortable talking about that issue so close to a stranger. So I walked back to the living room knowing Frank would follow me.

- "A few years ago I was abducted and my captor forced me to use Dilaudid. After that, I was hooked for a few months until (Y/N) helped me detox. I've been going to NA meetings every month ever since and I haven't relapsed. But…"

I paused and looked at him, he didn't look surprised at all, he only looked mad.

- "Did she ever tell you?"

- "What the fuck did you do Spencer?"- his voice was closer to a growl at that minute, and his eyes were still deep in anger.

- "Nothing!! I swear!! She thinks I relapsed 'cos she found a bottle of Dilaudid in my jacket! But I didn't!! I could never do that to her!"

- "Then why did you have it?! Did it magically appear in your pocket?!”- Frank lost it again and yelled at me. I flinched and couldn't even open my mouth to reply.

I know anyone could think Frank’s reaction was out of proportion. But it wasn’t. You see, (Y/N) was his best friend on earth and he loved her like a little sister. And I had hurt his little sister. If you ask me, I was fucked.

- “Look, I know I ruined things with her, but for a small fragment of time after Prentiss’s death, I thought I needed it. I didn’t! I never used it! I should have gotten rid of it!”

- “You shouldn’t have fucking got it in the first time, Spencer!!”- Frank really looked like he was about to smack me.

- “I know! I know! And now she thinks I’m probably using it again! And she will want to cancel the wedding and dump me! And it’s all my fault!”- Frank shook his head and walked to the kitchen.

I followed him waiting for his yells. Maybe he could punch me. I was even looking forward to it, I deserved all the pain he was willing to make me feel. I could take anything, except (Y/N)’s rejection.

But no. Instead, he got me a beer and one from himself. He opened it, sat by the aisle, and moved a chair for me.

- “You are an asshole.”

- “I know! But I don’t have time for a beer and some advice! I need to find her!”

- “Dude, you won’t find her tonight. And trust me, you don’t wanna talk to her right now. You need to wait until her anger soothes a little… if that’s even possible considering how deep into shit you are right now.”

I stared at him and grabbed the beer, sipping it and almost drinking half of it. Frank raised an eyebrow and sighed.

- “Neither Mikey nor Lu had called me yet, which means she is not there either.”

- “I don’t care, I’m going anyway.”- I don’t know why I acted like a brat, but in my defense, I was desperate and I wasn’t thinking straight.

- “Doc, you fucked it up. You have to plan your apology instead of running around town like a headless chicken!”

- “She is gonna cancel the wedding!”- I yelled and jumped from the chair, feeling the walls closing in.

- “If you talk to her tonight she might!”- Frank lit a cigarette and nodded- “Think Spencer! You’ve known her for so long, use all your (Y/N) intel to figure out how to fix this instead of acting with your guts!”

- “I don’t have time to think! She is gonna… I just need to hold her.”- I bit my lips as I paced across that kitchen, feeling impotent and useless- “I know I have a wealth of knowledge about her I could be applying to find her and apologize effectively. But right now, I can’t focus on anything for longer than three seconds at a time, which makes me the dumbest person in this room.”

- “Jeez, thanks”- Frank chuckled and stood up to wrap an arm around my shoulders, as I inevitably broke down in tears.

- “I love her so much it hurts. And I need to find her so I can explain to her I would never do anything that might hurt her,”

- “Doc, getting that bottle hurt her. She is out there thinking you picked drugs over her.”

Yes, I knew it was stupid of me to say “I would never hurt her” when I had just done that exact thing. But trust me, I wasn’t myself that night.

I sobbed against Frank’s shoulder as he hugged me in silence for a few minutes.

- “47.450”- I whispered as wiped off my tears with my jacket and started walking around the kitchen again.

- “What are you talking about Doc?”

- “47.450 is the number of hours I’ve spent with her ever since I met her. One hour without her and I feel I’m losing my mind. Please help me.”- he stared at me not knowing what to say- “Help me find her.” 

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[michelle-is-writing]

Childhood Friends, Spencer Reid

Word Count: 3.9k~

Walking into the BAU, Spencer didn’t expect a case; in fact, he was hoping there wouldn’t be a case. For the past week, the team had been receiving case after case. Unfortunately, the combination of growing exhaustion and constant sadness caused by each brutal case was starting to wear on the team. However, they couldn’t stop now - they had yet another case.

Sitting in the Bullpen, everyone had their mugs filled to the brim with coffee in hand while Garcia reviewed the new case on the screen. “I don’t know if you guys have seen it in the news, but going by the fact that none of us have had the chance to even get on our phones for five minutes, I doubt you guys have,”

Pointing the remote toward the screen, Garcia pressed the main button as two new images of a burning building filled the screen. “Two buildings a few cities over have been bombed with the first occurring two days ago and the most recent one being mere hours ago. It was assumed that the first building was caused by a gas leak, but with the second bombing and new evidence to prove that there was a bomb present, p-d are starting to think they’re related,”

With a sigh, Garcia flips to the next image of the destroyed buildings. “The current number of deaths is fifty-seven, but the estimated death toll is around seventy since the explosions occurred before most workers got there. Unfortunately, most of those deaths were at the second building with only two survivors being recovered so far,”

The next image shown was that of one of the survivors, a small child. “Cassie Brown, age seven,” Penelope stated, “She’s the daughter of Jamie Brown, the head accountant whose body still has yet to be recovered. Thankfully, Cassie only suffered minor injuries with few bruises and small cuts,”

Garcia then clicked to the next image on screen, and almost instantly, Spencer woke up. “Oh my God,” He accidentally muttered, sitting up in his seat as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Immediately, his teammates noticed his sudden mood change.

“Reid, is everything alright?” Rossi asked, concerned. Despite this, Spencer didn’t answer him, and instead, asked a question.

“Garcia, is the woman’s name ‘(Y/n) (L/n)?’” Spencer questioned, gazing at the smiling (h/c) woman on screen, the photo coming from her ID. There was no doubt in his mind that this woman was (Y/n) (L/n). Granted, it had been nearly a decade since he last saw her, but Spencer never forgot a face - especially that of the person who meant so much to him.

“Yes… how’d you know?” She asked, glancing at him with curiosity. Instead of answering her with the whole truth, Spencer settled on just shaking his head while sitting back in his seat.

“I-I knew her from school,” He murmured nervously, resting his chin on his hand as he anxiously waited for her to say what injuries she had. Spencer did know (Y/n) from school, but there was more to it. Despite being three years younger than him, (Y/n) had practically rescued him when he was at the hand of ruthless bullies.

Spencer could remember the day like it was yesterday. One moment he was walking out of the front doors to his school, and the next he was being taped to the flagpole in the nude. Spencer remembered asking them to stop, begging them to let him down until a brave nine-year-old came running over from the nearby library, swinging her heavy backpack at the high schoolers and successfully hitting a few of them in the face while the rest ran off. Despite being only a fraction of their size, she took them down in only a minute before quickly running over to Spencer and helping him escape his current predicament.

He remembered her giving him her jacket to cover up with and walking him to the principal’s office to report what had just happened. While they headed over there, (Y/n) comforted him to the best of her abilities while trying to calm him down. It was embarrassing to him to be humiliated and harassed so publicly, but she was helping him. Afterward, they’d spend time together when they could, but when Spencer’s education grew faster and faster, they couldn’t see each other as much anymore. Even if he didn’t have an eidetic memory, Spencer would never forget her kindness no matter what.

“(Y/n)’s injuries were a bit more severe as she was found holding Cassie to her - basically, she was protecting her from debris and falling materials,” Garcia explained, Spencer shutting his eyes as an image of (Y/n) in a hospital bed popped up on screen. “A broken wrist, tibia, and collarbone as well as a herniated disc and cuts and bruises like Cassie.”

It was horrifying to hear Garcia say these things. Spencer had been hoping for the moment he would be able to see (Y/n) again, but he wasn’t hoping it would be because of something like this. Unfortunately, internet searches proved useless as Spencer wasn't too tech savvy like Garcia, so he was only left with the hope of being blessed with her coming back into his life through something nice and pleasant. He wanted it to be somewhere nice like a cafe or bookshop - not a hospital or destroyed building.

“JJ, Morgan, go to the bomb site and see what you can find,” Hotch quickly spoke up, standing from the table before gathering his files. “Rossi and Prentiss, you go speak to local pd. Reid, you and I will go to the hospital - I’ll speak to Cassie, you speak to (Y/n) since you know her.”

With Hotch’s commands, everyone dispersed, and Spencer quickly headed out to the hospital with Hotch. It wasn’t long before they walked into the hospital and went their separate ways, the only thing on Spencer’s mind being (Y/n).

Walking down the long hall that led to (Y/n)’s ICU room, Spencer was scared of what he might find. How bad would (Y/n) feel due to her injuries? Would she feel okay enough to answer his questions? Would she even remember who Spencer was?

That last thought scared him, but Spencer knew he’d have to put that fear aside as he entered her room. He was there to solve a case, regardless of their previous friendship, but still, he wanted her to remember him.

Despite bandages covering a majority of her limbs as well as a cast on one wrist and another on her leg, (Y/n) looked beautiful to him. Again, Spencer hadn’t seen (Y/n) since they were both teenagers, but he failed to realize that while he grew into a very handsome man, (y/n) grew into a gorgeous woman at the same time.

As soon as their eyes met, Spencer’s fears left his body instantly. A look of both shock and recognition flashed over (Y/n)’s face as she gazed at the man across from her. “Oh my God…” She murmured, a small smile taking over her chapped lips as she tried to sit up.

“No, no, don’t do that!” Spencer told her, rushing over to gently push her back onto the hospital bed. Now closer, he could see every change that had occurred in (Y/n)’s appearance. Almost ten years altered a lot of things, but one thing that stayed was the natural warmth she carried.

“How the hell are you still alive?” He asked, his voice gentle. (Y/n) only smiled, taking his hand in her hand that wasn’t covered with a cast. Thankfully, most of her injuries were on one side of her body, letting her have at least one arm she could use fully.

“I have no clue,” She answered, her voice quiet, but still smooth. “It’s been a while, Spence,” (Y/n) lightly laughed. Before JJ called him Spence, (Y/n) did. “Now, come here and hug me. It’s been too long.”

Without a second to hesitate, Spencer leaned down and hugged the fragile woman, careful to not hurt her or touch her injured back. During those moments, (Y/n) and Spencer felt like kids once again. It was just like the day they met - except, this time, it was (Y/n) who was being comforted.

Once they parted, Spencer pulled up the nearby armchair and sat beside (Y/n)’s bed, her hand finding its way back into his. Spencer had a big phobia of germs, but at that moment, he didn’t care about that. His only focus was on (Y/n) and finding out who hurt her.

“You remember what happened, right?” He asked, receiving a nod back. “And you were told that Cassie was alright?” Spencer added, another smile taking over her lips as she nodded. A small ‘thankfully’ fell from her lips at the same time as she laid her head back against her pillow, Spencer’s eyes following the fresh bruise that covered a majority of her chest and neck. She probably had some type of debris that fell onto her upper torso while her clavicle was broken.

“Were there any issues at your job?” Spencer asked, “Such as co-workers fighting? In-work relationships that went awry?” He further asked, gazing over (Y/n)’s face and the scrapes that adorned it. At that moment, he couldn’t help but feel a massive surge of protection for her; truth be told, he didn’t mind it.

For a second, (Y/n) thought about his question before realization passed over her face. “Uh, yeah, there was a married couple that was having a ton of issues,” She answered him, “Jamie and Robert were the example couple as to what can go wrong when a couple words at the same job,” (Y/n) explained, shaking her head against the hospital pillow. “Everyone in our office knew what was going on - they would cheat on each other with a lot of the new workers that would come in,” She then shrugged. “It was nothing new.”

“How’d you find out about it?” Spencer asked, resting his chin on his elbow that was perched against his leg.

“I heard about it in the lunchroom a few weeks ago. As far as I could tell, they were both going to pretend that no one on our floor knew about their cheating,” (Y/n) explained, rolling her eyes afterward. “Everyone in the whole building knew.”

Spencer nodded before a question came to his mind. “(Y/n), what made you go down to the first floor? You worked on the seventh floor,” he asked.

(Y/n) gently shook her head as if she were trying to remember. “I couldn’t find my work I.D. anywhere... and it’s the only way I can get on my computer,” she explained, her memories slowly returning to her. “So, I thought maybe it slipped out of my purse when I was stepping onto the elevator. Next thing I know, I’m being stopped by Cassie, Robert and Jamie’s daughter, who’s trying to look for her mom because… because…”

In an instant, her eyes widened. “Robert had dropped her off, and she had no idea how to find her mom,” (Y/n) added, glancing over at Spencer. “And that’s weird because Robert was supposed to be at work today - in fact, he was supposed to be there earlier than me, and h-he was late,” once again, she tried to sit up, but Spencer stopped her. Standing up from his chair, Spencer held his hands to her shoulders without a second to spare, forcing her to relax again, but her panicked state never faltered in the slightest. “Oh my God, is he the one who bombed the building?”

“We don’t know who did it yet,” he assured her, letting her calm down more. She had gotten so worked up over the possibility that her co-worker did the bombing that her heart monitor was nearly shooting through the roof with the suddenly elevated levels. Thankfully, Spencer making her lay back and breathe was the remedy to her state of alarm, and after a few moments of making sure she’d be okay, he sat back down in his chair still watching her. “Let me call my technical analyst and tell her so she can find information on him,” he explained, taking her hand in his for a quick second before standing again to leave the room. “I’ll be right back.”

Immediately, (Y/n) stopped him as she gripped his hand in hers tighter. “No,” she pleaded, Spencer watching as she tried swallowing down her fear. There was no doubt in his mind that (Y/n) was traumatized by what just happened to her, but he didn’t think he would be the person she preferred for comfort. He thought she might want someone she’s close to - not someone she hadn’t seen for a while. “Please, stay.”

Time seemed to fly between the two with Spencer doing as much as he could in that tiny hospital room alongside (Y/n) as she helped answer any questions he had. Meanwhile, Garcia researched as much as she could on speaker with the rest of the team, and in the span of four hours, the bomber was caught. Although, it wasn’t who (Y/n) thought it would be - well, partially. Both Jamie and Robert did the bombing, and the perfect scapegoat for not receiving any suspicion was having their daughter in the building at the time of the bombing; or at least, that's how it played out in their minds.

Despite the case being over in no time, Spencer didn’t return to work, and instead, he stayed in the hospital with (Y/n) as they caught up and talked. Along with sharing stories and achievements, they both heard about the various recovery steps from doctors and nurses that (Y/n) would have to take. Ultimately, it was all disheartening for her to hear. She knew she couldn’t work in her condition - both health-wise and the destroyed state of her job’s building. Plus, she didn’t have any friends or family she could go to and stay with. They all had families and jobs of their own. Besides, who would want to help take care of her?

Well, Spencer didn’t think anything bad of the idea of her staying with him at his apartment. Granted, he wasn’t always home because of work, but he did have that month worth of vacation he’d been meaning to cash in soon. In spite of not fully knowing the grown woman before him, he only knew the little girl that once took her place and took care of the little boy that he used to be. He knew he had to return the favor with the same kindness and care she showed him many years ago.

Surprisingly, (Y/n) was okay with idea. The only thing she protested about was that she didn’t want him to have to take care of her. He responded only with a smile and two words, “I know.” However, he wanted to take care of her anyways.

Time passed between the two, and soon enough, barely two weeks had passed before (Y/n) was living comfortably with Spencer. He took care of her, but she still managed to take care of him at the same time. After the month he took off to take care of her, he went back to work, and every time he came home, he was actually happy to be home. He wasn’t alone anymore, and there was always a pair of ears to listen to him despite his persistence that she didn’t need to suffer from his stories too.

More time passed and both had become so comfortable and close that they were bordering something neither of them knew how to approach. Every time he stepped into his apartment, he was walking into an aura full of warmth, her aura. Plus, with (Y/n) getting better each day, she was able to do things around the apartment that Spencer never had the time to do. In many ways, it felt like he was coming home to something he loved, and when he thought about it, he was indeed coming home to someone he loved.

On the sixth month of (Y/n) living with Spencer, Spencer arrived at a place that truly felt like home after a solving a particularly rough case. Looking around their apartment, he took note of how clean everything looked. Both his and (Y/n)’s things were all dusted and pristine with their combined collection of books organized and neatly stacked on the shelves. Even the coat rack by the door had been straightened up with every wrinkle in each jacket and sweater shaken out and put back on their hooks.

Thankfully, all of (Y/n)‘s injuries healed quite well over time, but the pain from each of them still lingered. Her fractured tibia took the longest to heal, which is normal, but her collarbone and wrist took around ten weeks to heal due to having other injuries alongside them. Many of the cuts she had from the bombed building healed too, but others left scars from how deep the cuts reached in the tissues. Out of all of them however, her herniated disc seemed to get only slightly better while some days it seemed as if the pain was there to stay. This was the case especially on days she moved around a lot, causing the injury to flare up.

Spencer had been gone for a week to solve a case, and when he got back home, he was immediately welcomed into his apartment with the smell of fresh baked cookies as well as the sight of clean floors and counters. Immediately, he smiled, turning his head to look over at the person that did all these things while he was gone. She seemed to be napping on the couch with her legs thrown up on the cushions and her head leaning back against the soft pillows she had picked out for the fall season. He couldn’t say no to her when she picked out the glittery pumpkin adorned throw pillows during one of their shopping trips. He couldn’t say no to her on anything really. The time they had spent together with her living with him had only made their bond stronger, and at the same time, their mutual feelings grew as well.

Walking closer to the couch, he stopped beside her legs and gently tapped them to bring her out of her slumber. Waking up with a little stir, (Y/n) relaxed immediately once she saw Spencer beside her. Greeting him with a sleepy hello, (Y/n) watched as he lifted her legs off the couch before sitting down and resting her legs against his lap. “What all did you do today?” He asked, her eyes staying on him the whole time.

“Not a lot,” she murmured, not wanting to divulge too much. However, Spencer knew better and asked her again. “I didn’t do too much,” she clarified, “I, uh, cleaned the kitchen, made some cookies, did a couple loads of laundry,” As the words fell out (Y/n)’s lips, she realized just how much she had done today and why her back was starting to sends sparks of pain to her. Looking back at Spencer, she gave him a tight smile. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”

Without a second to spare, Spencer sighed in concern. “You overdid it, didn’t you?” He asked, already knowing the answer to his question.

“Spencer, I’m okay, it’s just my back that’s bothering me,” once again, (Y/n) tried to avoid stressing out Spencer over her, but Spencer wasn’t phased. He tried to get up, saying how her bed would be much better for her, but (Y/n) stopped him, leaning forward and putting a hand on his arm to make him stay put on the couch. “I’m okay.”

He heard her words, but they didn’t immediately calm him down. Instead, he struggled with himself over doing something to help her, ultimately giving up before sighing. “I don’t know how you’re staying so resilient in all of this,” Spencer confessed, moving to rub his thumb against the soft skin of her hand. Looking over at her, his brown eyes gazed over her face as his lips moved to the side in thought. “You’re so strong in all of this, and it amazes me.”

In response to his words, (Y/n) smiled before taking his hand into hers and giving it a light squeeze. “I was taught how to be strong by the strongest person I know,” She told him, her thumb running over the pale skin covering his bony hands. “His mom was right,” (Y/n) thought to herself, “he doesn’t eat enough.”

Her words made him look down and smile, thinking about what his response should be. Should his response be a question over how exactly he was the strongest person she knew? Or should his response be a comment about how he felt the same way - only it was her who was the strongest person he knew. For once, Spencer didn’t know what to say or do, so, he did the thing that he had been wanting to do ever since he was reunited with her.

Without a second to spare, Spencer leaned over and pressed his lips to hers in a soft and sweet manner. His hand lightly grasped her shin while the other moved to rest against her cheek, letting her feel totally and absolutely complete. In that moment, (Y/n) reciprocated his actions and did the one thing she had been wanting to do as well. Although both were timid at first, they gradually moved into one another’s hold with their lips never parting. It wasn’t until (Y/n) leaned forward once more that she pulled away with a hiss as her back resumed twinging in pain.

“Oh no, are you okay?” Spencer asked, concerned that he hurt her. She only smiled and nodded at him, letting out a small sigh.

“Yes, I am,” (Y/n) assured him, “well, now that you’re not kissing me, actually, I could be better,” Her comment made Spencer smile before letting out a laugh. “It’s better for my back.”

He grinned at her excuse and shook his head before leaning down and resuming kissing her, her hands now running through his hair as his rested beside her head so he could hover above her. After a few moments, they parted, and Spencer simply adjusted himself before lying his head down against her chest and sighing. “I’m glad we both feel the same.”

(Y/n) grinned at his words. “I am too,” she murmured, closing her eyes in a state of peace. “I’m so glad you remembered me. As soon as I saw you, I immediately knew you were my Spence, all except for the tall body you have now, of course- that was kind of a shocker,” as soon as the words left her lips, they both laughed before Spencer leaned up once more and kissed her.

“Well, the tall body is kind of good thing. I wouldn’t be able to help you as much as I do,” Spencer explained, staring down into (Y/n)’s face as she relaxed. Although, he didn’t know how she could be so relaxed - literally half of his body was on top of hers.

“I know, and I owe you so much for all of it,” she responded, finally opening her eyes to find his face now above hers. She smiled. “Seriously, I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

Spencer smiled back. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you either.”

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid hc #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagines #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds oneshot

[snarkylinda]

HOLY- Ok time for me to be real for a second; I have the opposite problem with the Maeve plot that I did with the drugs plot- premise vs aftermath.

The addiction one was super fascinating for me- and I love Revelations as the pure angst-fest that it was- so can you image my DISSAPOINTMENT by the way it wasn't handled- IT WASN'T HANDLED AT FUCKING ALL- i just can't get out of my head that fucking scene where Spencer was pretty much begging for help in the middle of a profile, got knowing glances and....literally nobody did anything, other than Emily for a bit. Don't get me started on him directly spelling it out in Gideon's face at the bar.... in the end, all that plotline amounted to was Spencer refusing any pain medication when choking on his own blood. How lovely.

The Maeve plot on the other hand is the complete opposite for me- I hate the concept, the dead lover thing is a really tired trope even on this show alone and I hate when a character's whole purpose is to be a main's dead love interest- no to mention that you know, Spencer didn't deserve that shit- so.... now I am crying like a bitch over it. Seeing Reid absolutely devasted to the point of laying catatonic in his apartment for two weeks was so.... *sad Linda noises* no to mention BEFORE it happen, knowing it would happen like I did. He was making heart eyes at her and when she disappeared was a mess- no to mention the scenes where the team did their best to comfort him became MY comfort scenes- Alex being his biggest cheerleader when Maeve was alive because this guy's self-esteem is a mess? Garcia, Morgan and JJ coming in to help order his apartment- and not leaving before HUGGING him? Hell, even Rossi got to show he love the fucking guy (scene I posted) I watch CM for the found family feels and THAT was what bothered me the most about the addiction plotline-

In conclusion.... the addiction plotline kills me because of the potential wasted and the OOCness of the team- and I can tolerate the Maeve plotline because even tho I am not a big fan of the trope itself. it gave me more scenes of Spencer being a poor little meow meow and you know, his friends helping it deal with it.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #ok back to shitpost and cry over said lil meow meow

[babeczka415]

The End - one shot

MC POV

After two longs years being with Jake and helping him get free things don’t feel right. We act like everything is okay but I feel like I’m making a fool out of myself lately. There have been a lot of fights and even with the distance.

I ended up flying out to Colsville to surprise him and I knocked on his apartment and a girl answered.

“Hello” she says confused. 

“Sorry I must have the wrong apartment. My friend must of moved recently.” I say with my heart breaking knowing the truth.

I hear from behind the door Jake’s voice “your coffee is ready, love” as the girl shuts the door.

I stay stable and walk to the elevator. I wait for it open and I head someone come out of one of the apartments. I try and not look back not wanting to see if it’s Jake. As the elevator door opens I feel someone grab my hand and spin me around and I see Jake. I lose it and break down looking into this his blue eyes that don’t have that love I use to see looking back at me.

“MC please let’s talk” he says

I can’t say anything as i bolt into the elevator “you stay” i manage out between the tears as I make the door close. I fall to the floor and my phone goes off and I see it’s Jake. I toss it in my bag and it breaks my heart.

I knew this was coming, he became distance but I didn’t want to believe it. I walk out and get into the rental car and my phone keeps going off and it’s Jake.

I answer after the 10th call since I told him to stay “Jake I don’t want ot hear it! You made a fool out of me!” I say hanging up not letting him say a word.

I pick up my phone and call Jessy, i know she moved to paris after we managed to find Hannah but I know she comes to visit so I’m hoping that when i told her I was coming here that she was coming.

“Hey girl everything okay? I know you said you just got into Colville today” she says as she answers the phone.

“Jessy” i say bawling my eyes out unable to get out anything more.

“MC what is wrong do i need to get Dan on this chat?” she ask

“No Dan. He’s just going to tell me ‘I told you so’.... I came out here to surprise Jake and try and rekindle because we haven’t seen eachother in 6 months and’ i start having a panic attack.

“Calm down, i just landed coming to Duskwood as well. Send me your location and i’ll come get you in a cab and we can go get coffee”

I send her my location “Jessy….. Its over between me and him and there is nothing to fix anymore’ i say crying again

“I’ll be there right away. Once i get out of the cab i’ll call you again, stay there please.” she says concerned.

We hang up the phone and I lean my head back and close my eyes. I get startled by someone knocking on my window and I open my eyes and see Jake. He has a cup of coffee in his hand and i see the sadness in his eyes. My window is cracked so i don’t get too hot waiting for Jessy 

‘MC can we talk please, i brought you coffee” he says trying to do that smile that melts my heart and he knows it.

“Jake I need some time. I flew out here to try and fix things with you. Only to knock on your door and have another girl answer it.” I say turning on the car and shutting the window as I put the music on and the song “Flower” By Lauren Spencer Smith plays and I just start balling my eyes again.

Jake tries to open my door but its locked and my phone goes off. 

“I’m in the parking garage, first floor, red BMW. Heads up he’s standing outside my driver door” i say as i answer wiping the tears away from my eyes.

“Oh he better leave before i lose it on him!” she yells into the phone and I can tell she’s angry.

All of a sudden, i see Jake get pushed back from the car by a female and i notice the red hair. I can’t help but laugh because that’s my best friend.

“Dan and I warned you what would happen Jake!” she angrily yells  in his face. “You thought we were joking but I already told Dan what she told me! How the hell could you cheat on her when all she wanted was to be with you!?”

She goes to open the  back doordoor and realizes it locked. I undo it knowing he’s not going to try anything and i was wrong. As jessy is putting her luggage in the backseat with mine, he opens the drivers door and crouchs down so he’s at my level. I turn my head away from him in pure disgust of him.

“MC, please we need to talk about this” he says, starting to reach out but stops.

“Just leave her alone, she doesn’t want to even look at you, Jake” says Jessy as I climb into the passager seat in the front seat unable to drive at this moment and just wanting away from him.

“Jessica, just let her tell me this herself.” he says

“I told you fucking stay! I walked away from you crying because it’s over. You hurt me Jake and I can’t keep doing this.” i say looking into his eyes as i start crying again but so flustered with myself and him for not seeing the signs before this trip.

He stands up “fine but i eventually do want to talk to you about everything’ he says as he steps away from the car.

Jessy gets in the car and i get out. I look at Jessy, give me a few moments I need to say some things to him” i say walking around the front of the car and away from it and he follows me.

He leans against the wall and reaches for my hand but I cross my arms. “I need to say something and then I’m walking away before i say or do something I regret right now” I say with tears still in my eyes.

“Okay, i understand.” he says and i see the hurt in his eyes.

“I helped you become a free man from running.” as tears run down my face.  “You took me over to your house to meet your family, even your MOM! You introduce me to them, saying that you’d marry me. Then you looked me in the eyes after we left and say ‘It was just a joke’. You kiss me and I’d smile, did you even know? When you’d say that kind of thing, I’d be excited. You got me hoping one day you would mean it.” as i feel my heart rate increase. “I always thought I’d only make a fool of someone else. Now you have only gone and made me make one of myself. We’d fight and you'd send flowers but i guess they aren’t just used for big apologies.” my hands start to shake. “I guess I should’ve been more conscious of how you spoke to me, trying to control me. When we would fight you’d give me space and not communicate and for a while I thought that’s what i should appreciate.” Blaming myself for not seeing this sooner. “Maybe I was holding onto what I thought you were, but when you think too hard, eventually it starts to hurt. The version of you in my head, now I know it wasn’t true. Young people fall for the wrong people, I guess my one was you.” as I say this I walk away. Not giving Jake a chance to say anything as I get back in the car and Jessy pulls out and i see him in the side mirror standing there watching the car leave.

Jakes POV:

There is a knock on the door, I have the girl i had over open it as I’m making coffee. I hear MC’s voice and I panic as she just says she was looking for her friend but I know she means me. I lose all focus and say “your coffee is ready, love.”

She shuts the door and comes up to me wrapping her arms around me. “Who was at the door?” I ask knowing the answer.

“Some girl looking for her friend. I thought you lived here for a bit?” she asks, confused.

‘Yeah, her friend must have lived here before me. But give me a moment I’m going to go see if I can help her.” I say pushing her away and throwing on my sneakers and a black shirt. I open my door and look down at the elevator and see MC standing there fidgeting. I can tell she’s upset but trying to stay focused, she was always good at that and I loved that about her.

I walk up to her and just as the door opens I reach out and grab her. She freezes and I spin her around. I see the tears in her eyes as she looks into my eyes. The love look is gone like the last time I looked into those brown eyes and this time all I see is hate towads me even through the tears.

“MC, please let’s talk”. I say wanting to hold her but knowing I caused those tears.

She doesn’t say anything but gets loose from my hand and bolts into the elevator “you stay” she manges to say as she makes the door close.

I freeze, unsure what is going to happen. I bolt back in and grab a cup of coffee that I made for myself throwing on a lid to keep it from spilling as a bolt down back out the door. 

I hear the girl in my apartment say “what’s going on Jake?”

“Please leave, I don’t want anyone when I come back” I say annoyed with myself for causing this hurt to MC when I promised her two years ago I would never leave her.

I finally get to the parking garage. I’m on the top floor and I don’t see her. I start looking through all the cars, looking for someone in the front seat that’s crying. I finally get to the first floor and I see a red BMW. I know what her car taste is like when she’s renting and that is 100% it. I walk up and I see her head tilt back and her eyes close. She isn’t crying but I just know, the window is cracked open so I gently knock on the window. I see her jump and it breaks my heart knowing she doesn’t trust me anymore.

‘MC, can we talk  please, I brought you coffee’ I say, showing her the coffee cup as I take the lid off. Knowing that coffee always won her heart over.

“Jake, I need some time. I flew out here to try and fix things with you. Only to knock on your door and have another girl answer it.” she says as she starts the car putting the window up and I see the tears flowing again.

I try and open her door because I just want to comfort her but she doesn’t let me and I see her answer her phone. I have no idea who shes talking too but I have a feeling. I should leave but I can’t leave her. We need to talk, I wish I had open that door instead of that girl then we would of been able to.

I’m so focused on MC I don’t even see someone come up and push me back until it’s too late and I spill the coffee on me. I’m so focused on MC and the hot coffee spilt on me, I see Jessica angry yelling at me but I can’t even hear what she’s saying but I know she isn’t happy with how things went with MC and me. Honestly, I can’t blame her and I know she told Dan. I’m waiting for those threats from him, nothing I’m not used to after two years with MC. I know I messed up a good thing because it’s who I am. I can’t keep a good thing in my life for long before I purposely mess things up and that’s exactly what I did here.

I see Jessica open the back door and I take it as the door is unlocked. I open the driver side door where MC is and crouch down to her level. I go to reach for her but after everything I stop myself. “MC, please we need to talk about this” I say, wanting to comfort her.

“Just leave her alone, she doesn’t want to even look at you, Jake” says Jessy as MC climbs into the passenger seat in the front seat. 

“Jessica, just let her tell me this herself.” I says angrily at her for always butting in.

“I told you fucking stay! I walked away from you crying because it’s over. You hurt me Jake and I can’t keep doing this.” MC say, looking into my eyes and starts crying again.

I stand up “fine but I eventually do want to talk to you about everything’ as I steps away from the car. I’m so angry with myself for not knowing she was coming here. Honestly, I haven’t been giving her the attention she deserves because I feel she deserves better than me.

Jessy gets in the car and MC gets out. I can tell MC is saying something to Jessica but I can’t hear her. She walks in front of the car and looks at me. I follow her away from the car and lean against the wall. I reach my hand out for her but she pulls away and crosses her arms.

“I need to say something and then I’m walking away before I say or do something I regret right now” She says with tears still in my eyes.

“Okay, I understand.”I say and try to hide my emotions because I did this to her but seeing her crying just breaks my heart and I’ve lost the best thing that ever happened to me. I just know it.

“I helped you become a free man from running.” as tears run down her face.  “You took me over to your house to meet your family, even your MOM! You introduce me to them, saying that you’d marry me. Then you looked me in the eyes after we left and said ‘It was just a joke’. You kiss me and I’d smile, did you even know? When you’d say that kind of thing, I’d be excited. You got me hoping one day you would mean it.” as she fidgets and I know her heart is racing.. “I always thought I’d only make a fool of someone else. Now you have only gone and made me make one of myself. We’d fight and youd send flowers but i guess they aren’t just used for big apologies.” her hands start to shake. “I guess I should’ve been more conscious of how you spoke to me, trying to control me. When we would fight you’d give me space and not ocmmunicate and for a while I thought that’s what i should appreciate. Maybe I was holding onto what I thought you were, but when you think too hard, eventually it starts to hurt. The version of you in my head, now I know it wasn’t ture. Young people fall for the wrong people, I guess my one was you.” as she says this I walk away. 

“I’m sorry for everything, MC. You deserve better” I say unsure if she even heard me as she walks away and gets in the car. I watch them leave and I see MC’s face in the side mirror and my heart breaks. Once they are out of sight I push the brick wall behind me as I see the girl from last night come walking out to the elevator.

“I won’t be coming back” she says as she walks past me. I don’t say anything to her because she already figured out it was more than what MC mentioned.

I head back into my apartment and pull out my phone. I open the messages but knowing she’s not going to check them right now and I can’t blame her.

Jake: MC, I’m sorry for everything. You deserve better than this. I know for the last year I haven’t been the best and you kept trying to fix things between us and I just pushed you away. Please just know you will always hold a space in my heart but I did fall in love with you and I hate that I broke you like this.

I hit send, unsure if she even blocked me until it shows she’s online. I see her typing and then nothing and she goes offline again.

“I will always love you, MC” I say to myself as I throw the coffee cup I still have across the apartment.

#duskwood #duskwoodlover #duskwood fanfiction #fanfic #writing #mc x jake #oneshot #duskwood fandom #duskwood mc #duskwood jake #fanfics #jake x mc #i love jake

[wrenreid]

Conflict of Interest

mature content in this story

Chapter Eighteen: Memories and Longing

It’s well into the next day when you finally text Spencer back. You would like to say that you forgot, but you didn’t. His simple text message lives rent free in your mind for the entire 19 hours it takes you to respond.

Sorry it’s been a minute. I’ve been so busy! You type up this excuse, but it isn’t true, so you don’t send it. You haven’t been busy at all today. All you’ve done is watch t.v. with your brothers and take Dad out for lunch. Other than those thrilling events, you’ve been in bed.

This bed holds a lot of memories, but not ones you would think. You would stay up late under the covers with a little flashlight and read. You would lie here and gaze up at the ceiling, playing out your future in your head. It’s safe to say the scenarios were not accurate to the now present.

These sheets and pillowcases have caught a gallon of your tears. The earliest memory you hold of your tears spilling down onto the pillow beneath you is the night your parents told you about the divorce.

Quinton was the only of the 4 of you who had already known, granted he’s the oldest at 17. But you were only 7 and your other brothers 10 and 13, so your parents decided to break the news over dinner. Your mother cooked a family favorite meal and even bought a pie.

The dinner was great until it wasn’t, until you found out your parents weren’t going to share a last name any longer and your mother was moving out. Sure, maybe it was only 20 minutes from your house, but that’s a light year for a 7 year old who feels like she’s losing her mother.

You had been silent for the rest of dessert and whole night until you laid down for bed. The tears started flowing. You were sad and angry. Angry that your parents couldn’t love each other anymore even for the sake of their 4 kids. Now, you understand the separation was the best option.

There were other instances where the cotton below you had to absorb the salty tears from your eyes. Like when you were 13 and your best friend moved away to Louisiana because she was a military brat, and her father was stationed there.

Or when you found out your boyfriend of 4 months slept with Jasmine Bailey, a senior girl who you’d never spoken to but had a reputation. She was beautiful and a woman, and you were just barely 15 with braces, still wearing A cups, and refused to go past first base. Of course he had chosen her over you, you thought as you cried and yelled as your face buried into a pillow.

This bed also held the memory of when you found out you got into the FBI Academy and jumped up and down on the mattress like a little girl.

‘Yeah, I am. Are you?’ You finally respond to Spencer’s text from the previous night.

You’re not even really sure why it took you as long as it did to respond. Maybe because you wanted to distance yourself from him a little bit. Distance may help the feelings go away. But then again, as the saying goes, distance brings fondness, so the plan is flawed.

It doesn’t take him long to respond, only about half an hour. ‘I am too, yeah. I’m going to a party with my friend Morgan.’

‘In DC?’

‘Yep. I think it’ll be fun.’

‘I’m sure it will be.’ You text back and feel a sting in your stomach at the thought of him being in a party with girls in skimpy dresses and seductive smiles they’ll flash at anyone.

‘What are your plans?’

I’m not sure. I’ll probably just hang out with my family and watch the ball drop.

You press down on the back space until the words are gone, then you send: ‘Going to a party too. San Francisco on New Years can get wild;)’

‘I hope you have fun!’

‘I will.’

The bad thing about texting is that you can’t read people’s emotions unless they use emojis to show it. Spencer does not use emojis. Is he jealous? Is he excited for you? Or does he just not care?

You’d have every right to sleep with someone at a wild San Francisco New Year’s Eve party because he isn’t your boyfriend. But you aren’t going to.

He would have every right to sleep with some skank- some woman- at a party in DC because you’re not his girlfriend. And he may very well do it.

The thought of him inside another woman makes you want to scream. She’d be lucky because not only is he great at making a woman feel good, he’s also the sweetest guy in the world.

Maybe being underneath another man would take your mind off him. Or maybe it would remind you of how you miss him.

Ugh this is stupid!

chapter nineteen

i’m so sorry it’s been so long!!! also i promise this is the last chapter without spencer, i know that annoys some of you

tags: @reidsmilf @reidslovely @awhoreforspencerreid @sexualityisajoke @nomajdetective @kenreadsfanfics @assemblemotherfuckers @calicocatty @hotchandspencearedilfs @kodiakwhiskey @rory-cakes @kbakery @reidsprettygirl <3

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #mgg x you #spencer reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid smut #mgg angst #mgg fic #spencer reid and reader

[x3kristax3]

The End - one shot MC POV

After two longs years being with Jake and helping him get free things don’t feel right. We act like everything is okay but I feel like I’m making a fool out of myself lately. There have been a lot of fights and even with the distance.

I ended up flying out to Colsville to surprise him and I knocked on his apartment and a girl answered.

“Hello” she says confused. 

“Sorry I must have the wrong apartment. My friend must of moved recently.” I say with my heart breaking knowing the truth.

I hear from behind the door Jake’s voice “your coffee is ready, love” as the girl shuts the door.

I stay stable and walk to the elevator. I wait for it open and I head someone come out of one of the apartments. I try and not look back not wanting to see if it’s Jake. As the elevator door opens I feel someone grab my hand and spin me around and I see Jake. I lose it and break down looking into this his blue eyes that don’t have that love I use to see looking back at me.

“MC please let’s talk” he says

I can’t say anything as i bolt into the elevator “you stay” i manage out between the tears as I make the door close. I fall to the floor and my phone goes off and I see it’s Jake. I toss it in my bag and it breaks my heart.

I knew this was coming, he became distance but I didn’t want to believe it. I walk out and get into the rental car and my phone keeps going off and it’s Jake.

I answer after the 10th call since I told him to stay “Jake I don’t want ot hear it! You made a fool out of me!” I say hanging up not letting him say a word.

I pick up my phone and call Jessy, i know she moved to paris after we managed to find Hannah but I know she comes to visit so I’m hoping that when i told her I was coming here that she was coming.

“Hey girl everything okay? I know you said you just got into Colville today” she says as she answers the phone.

“Jessy” i say bawling my eyes out unable to get out anything more.

“MC what is wrong do i need to get Dan on this chat?” she ask

“No Dan. He’s just going to tell me ‘I told you so’.... I came out here to surprise Jake and try and rekindle because we haven’t seen eachother in 6 months and’ i start having a panic attack.

“Calm down, i just landed coming to Duskwood as well. Send me your location and i’ll come get you in a cab and we can go get coffee”

I send her my location “Jessy….. Its over between me and him and there is nothing to fix anymore’ i say crying again

“I’ll be there right away. Once i get out of the cab i’ll call you again, stay there please.” she says concerned.

We hang up the phone and I lean my head back and close my eyes. I get startled by someone knocking on my window and I open my eyes and see Jake. He has a cup of coffee in his hand and i see the sadness in his eyes. My window is cracked so i don’t get too hot waiting for Jessy 

‘MC can we talk please, i brought you coffee” he says trying to do that smile that melts my heart and he knows it.

“Jake I need some time. I flew out here to try and fix things with you. Only to knock on your door and have another girl answer it.” I say turning on the car and shutting the window as I put the music on and the song “Flower” By Lauren Spencer Smith plays and I just start balling my eyes again.

Jake tries to open my door but its locked and my phone goes off. 

“I’m in the parking garage, first floor, red BMW. Heads up he’s standing outside my driver door” i say as i answer wiping the tears away from my eyes.

“Oh he better leave before i lose it on him!” she yells into the phone and I can tell she’s angry.

All of a sudden, i see Jake get pushed back from the car by a female and i notice the red hair. I can’t help but laugh because that’s my best friend.

“Dan and I warned you what would happen Jake!” she angrily yells  in his face. “You thought we were joking but I already told Dan what she told me! How the hell could you cheat on her when all she wanted was to be with you!?”

She goes to open the  back doordoor and realizes it locked. I undo it knowing he’s not going to try anything and i was wrong. As jessy is putting her luggage in the backseat with mine, he opens the drivers door and crouchs down so he’s at my level. I turn my head away from him in pure disgust of him.

“MC, please we need to talk about this” he says, starting to reach out but stops.

“Just leave her alone, she doesn’t want to even look at you, Jake” says Jessy as I climb into the passager seat in the front seat unable to drive at this moment and just wanting away from him.

“Jessica, just let her tell me this herself.” he says

“I told you fucking stay! I walked away from you crying because it’s over. You hurt me Jake and I can’t keep doing this.” i say looking into his eyes as i start crying again but so flustered with myself and him for not seeing the signs before this trip.

He stands up “fine but i eventually do want to talk to you about everything’ he says as he steps away from the car.

Jessy gets in the car and i get out. I look at Jessy, give me a few moments I need to say some things to him” i say walking around the front of the car and away from it and he follows me.

He leans against the wall and reaches for my hand but I cross my arms. “I need to say something and then I’m walking away before i say or do something I regret right now” I say with tears still in my eyes.

“Okay, i understand.” he says and i see the hurt in his eyes.

“I helped you become a free man from running.” as tears run down my face.  “You took me over to your house to meet your family, even your MOM! You introduce me to them, saying that you’d marry me. Then you looked me in the eyes after we left and say ‘It was just a joke’. You kiss me and I’d smile, did you even know? When you’d say that kind of thing, I’d be excited. You got me hoping one day you would mean it.” as i feel my heart rate increase. “I always thought I’d only make a fool of someone else. Now you have only gone and made me make one of myself. We’d fight and you'd send flowers but i guess they aren’t just used for big apologies.” my hands start to shake. “I guess I should’ve been more conscious of how you spoke to me, trying to control me. When we would fight you’d give me space and not communicate and for a while I thought that’s what i should appreciate.” Blaming myself for not seeing this sooner. “Maybe I was holding onto what I thought you were, but when you think too hard, eventually it starts to hurt. The version of you in my head, now I know it wasn’t true. Young people fall for the wrong people, I guess my one was you.” as I say this I walk away. Not giving Jake a chance to say anything as I get back in the car and Jessy pulls out and i see him in the side mirror standing there watching the car leave.

Jakes POV

#duskwood #duskwoodlover #duskwood fanfiction #fanfic #writing #mc x jake #oneshot

[swrawberrysvuccvbvs]

V x Fem shy bubbly MD reader :D

this is before and after the second episode when the prom one happens I'll make a second part to this. {and maybe I'll add Uzi for fun who knows;3} Edit: I'm gonna make N another post due to how long this one is sorry to those waiting for a post about our lovable boy!

Ep 1

: She didn't really care for you at first barely noticed you were there most the time

: Until it came to a certain search you , her , and J went to look for some worker drones to feed on and saw you in motion.

: She can't deny she blushed a little ;3

: Once you noticed here staring your shyness kicked in you just went back to base after

{: Yes you and N have a little very very secret fan club For V }

: Tho another time when N came along and repeat of last time he did get a little jealous

: And after that you and V started to hang out more you and her started becoming closer

: Couple months later you two become a thing and everyone is confused especially J

: I mean her beside killers IS DATING THAT!?

: Once N found out about you two being together after that he was a little sad but was supportive!

: Her and V argue about it a lot and your shyness does not help especially with yelling it scares you quite a lot

: sometimes it even brings you to tears and V will drop it immediately and go to you in a protective manor.

: The day Uzi came was a huge change for you I mean that gun could have KILLED YOUR BEST FRIEND

: When N followed Uzi to make up for what happened you kinda just clung onto him during it until V and J went in the vents you weren't to bloodthirsty yet so you just stuck to N

:you and N stuck with Uzi you were on temporary shut down cause Uzi kinda hit you pretty hard upside the head with her gun( you got hungry and tried to go after her)

: When you woke up Uzi was working on N to who now has a virus thanks to J she "kindly" informed you of and you weren't too happy about it so you decide to go after them through the vents and you know what happens big fight J gets her head shot V gets tied up and your noise bleeding seeing her fight you know the whole sha-bang ( do they even have noses....well they do now!)

Ep 2 ( do know I have forgotten a little of ep 2 so bare with me once i watch it again I'll fix this)

: You two are usually cuddling in her chair while she either rants about balloon animals, killing workers, Or blowing bubbles!

: the day Uzi came in and ranted you got a little I don't wanna say scared but maybe a little {plus every time she says bite me you kinda actually kinda want to bite her for some reason?}

: Uzi had said some pretty weird stuff was happening at the door place or well her home she was apparently exiled from due to the previous situation.

: You kinda just hung on N's back on the way there while you both ranted about things you found like how you found a old store full of cool stuff but that's a story for later~

: When you all got in there you purely went off because of the smell of that sweet succulent oil~

: Uzi and N got a little concerned due to you giggling but we won't talk about that!

: I'm pretty sure we all know the story from the You and N get flashbacks to some mansion

:The whole eldritch J situation

: The amount of concern on V's face when you came back was a little overwhelming.

: But she knows you can handle yourself!

: HELL that's one of the reasons she fell for you not just your happy attitude that only her and N get to see { Uzi hasn't got to that level yet} She found it so cute and endearing that she got close and fell into that lovely pit known as you~

Finding the store

: You and her were scouting around one day just being yourselves and you spotted something abnormal to the area so you both went to check it out for fun

:Ounce you got there you wiped off some snow from what looked to be a sign it said " Spencers? you said in a questioning tone Idk I guess that's what it says V shrugged and broke the glass doors so you both could get inside.

: when you both got in you were indulged with excitement why you may ask it's where humans used to shop! How do you know? Frozen bodies in the store

:You both walked around for a little and after a while you got to the back and saw some " things"

: when you did you both just moved back to the front of the store

: And you both cuddled and talked about random stuff

:after a little you both looked around again and guess what you found.....!

: CANDY! and ya'll had spare oil from ya'lls scout made that even better!

I did it. Three days and it's finally done. I really hope ya'll enjoy this i worked hard on this I hope ya'll enjoy this as much as i did making it!

and again HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!

and real quick whoever made this please be my friend this is so cute :D

Last update: So I deleted The nsfw part sorry for the people who liked it but i just didn't like it

#V my beloved #murder drones #were all simps lol

[mt-musings]

Bluebell

Chapter 18

After being abruptly transferred to the BAU at what she suspects was Gideon's request, Cassie Boann struggles to find her footing. Shy and solitary by nature, the transition is made all the more difficult when Dr. Spencer Reid seems to take an almost immediate dislike to her. Unfortunately for them both, their respective areas of expertise leave them paired off more often than not. But when Cassie's past literally starts hunting her, Spencer is forced to consider that he might, in fact, not hate her at all.

Quite the opposite, actually.

Spencer Reid x OC

Warnings: Canon typical violence, kidnapping, stalking, drug use, blood, injury, death, PTSD, eventual smut, more tags to be added

Series Masterlist

Read on AO3

18. Steady as She Goes

Spencer’s eyes kept flicking to the empty seat on the jet where Cassie usually sat. Hotch had asked her to stay behind to coordinate the excavation of Jane’s property with Lopez from ERT, something that he’d been surprised that she’d so readily agreed to after her anxiety attack in the barn. 

Though she had said it was the blood that had bothered her. She’d always been fine with bones. 

The look of fear in her eyes as she watched Gideon drive away still haunted him. It had all worked out for the best, with Gideon and the children safe, and she hadn’t mentioned it since, or the fact that he’d grabbed her hand. 

He still didn’t know exactly why he’d done it—he’d just acted without thinking, something he was summarily unaccustomed to doing.

She’d knocked on his door an hour after they’d gotten back to the motel, holding up a worn pack of cards with a sheepish smile. 

“I don’t know if you were planning on turning in but I just thought I’d see if you wanted to play a couple hands.” 

 She’d already been in her pajamas—a pair of flannel bottoms and an oversized Harvard sweatshirt that reached almost to her knees. They played a few rounds of poker sitting cross-legged on his bed before he noticed that she’d tampered with the deck. 

“I shuffled two decks together at random and then split ‘em so you can’t count cards,” she’d said, fighting a smile. She gave up, giving him a self-satisfied grin that wrinkled her nose.

“That’s cheating.”

“It’s cutting the Gregorian knot. You didn’t specify we had to play with a standard deck. Now at least it’s even.”

They’d stayed up well into the early hours of the morning, card games devolving into Cassie trying to teach him to throw cards (which explained the worn edges of her deck). He hadn’t been able to get the hang of it, even though he’d calculated the ideal angle of release. 

“How’d you even decide to learn this?” He’d asked, flinging his half of the deck down on the bed while she continued knocking down the little paper targets they’d made from the motel memo pad.

“I had a foster brother who could throw them so hard he could draw blood. So I made him teach me.”

“How old were you?”

“Maybe eleven?”

He’d yawned then without meaning to and she’d leapt up, sweeping the cards into a pile and excusing herself so he could get some sleep. He wished she’d stayed, wished she’d kept talking about her delinquent foster brother. It was the first time she’d talked about her past without the sadness creeping in behind her eyes, without brushing it off and redirecting the conversation. 

Derek drew him out of his thoughts, plopping down next to him on the couch. 

“You keep staring at her seat.”

“It’s right across from me.”

“I think the Boy Genius has a little crush.”

Spencer rolled his eyes, pulling a book from his bag. “Not likely. We’re just friends.”

“Friends who hold hands?” Derek asked, raising an eyebrow as he smirked. Spencer felt his whole face turn bright red and glanced around the cabin to make sure no one else was paying attention. Luckily for him most of the team seemed to be asleep or listening to headphones. 

“That’s not—she was scared about Gideon going off with Frank. I was just trying to comfort her.”

“See, all that can be true and you could have a crush on Lil’ Miss Morticia.”

“That is not—We’re just friends and I’m not going to do anything to screw that up. She had a rough day, I was just trying to be nice.”

Derek settled back in his seat, still grinning at him. “I think you should go for it, man. It’d be good for both of you. I could give you some pointers—“

“I’m fine. I’m happy with the friendship we have.”

Derek’s teasing grin fell, leaving him with a sincere look instead. “I’m not teasing you, at least not about the fact that I think you two would be good for one another.”

Spencer dropped his gaze to his lap, wishing that he wasn’t so transparent, or he wasn’t surrounded by profilers. He was just glad no one else was paying attention to his mortification. 

“I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

His voice was so quiet he wasn’t even sure if Derek was able to hear him. 

---

Cassie crossed to her nightstand to pick up her ringing cell, wrapping her hair in a towel as she went. She glanced at the caller ID before flipping it open with a smile.

“Hey Spencer."

“How much longer are you going to be stuck out in Nevada?”

“Another week maybe? Hotch wants me to make sure everything is catalogued just in case there’s some clue to where Frank and Jane might be heading.”

“A week? Well, that answers my next question.”

“Which was?”

“If you’d want to go see The Science of Sleep on Friday.”

Cassie sighed. “I still have a quarter of the property left to comb through. Maybe we can raincheck?”

“Did you know that rain checks were originally a voucher given to baseball patrons at a rained out game?”

“I didn’t.”

“Maybe we can see it next week.”

“Cross your fingers we don’t catch a case. How’s everything back in Quantico?”

“Same as ever. We had a minor case out in Maryland but it only took two days.”

“God, what I wouldn’t do about now to get out of this god forsaken desert. I never really thought about how cold it gets at night.”

“Yeah, I never really had to worry about that growing up. The coldest it gets in Vegas is about low 40s.”

“I didn’t know you grew up in Vegas.”

“How’d you think I got so good at cards?”

She laughed, shaking her head. “Honestly, I just figured it was like everything else. Why wouldn’t you be utterly infuriating at them?”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

“Take it however you want,” she said, though she couldn’t hide the warmth in her voice. There was silence on the other end for a few moments as Cassie propped her feet up on the windowsill of her hotel room, looking out over the warm ochres of the sands. The desert was beautiful in a barren, alien sort of way, would be all the more so if she hadn’t spent the last week and a half excavating shards of human remains. 

“I—We miss you. It’s too quiet at work without you.”

“Lies,” she said, though she couldn’t help the smile that pulled at her lips. “I’m the quietest one in the bullpen.”

“Yeah, but you know how to get a rise out of the rest of us. I figured that out after the first week had a supreme lack of whimsical debates. Plus now there’s no one sitting across from me who just blurts out utterly disgusting things at random.”

“Are you still mad about the corpse wax?”

“Of course I’m still mad about the corpse wax! You brought it up while we were eating lunch.”

“I hadn’t thought of it before, it’s usually more of an archeological consideration. And it’s not that gross—“

“I’m going to stop you right there because I know whatever else you’re going to say will be absolutely revolting and I’d like to eat dinner.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Who’s the liar now?” He asked, and she could hear the smile in his voice. She could practically see him pacing in his apartment, his overlong hair tucked behind his ears, probably wearing one of his oversized college sweatshirts he liked to curl up on the couch in after work. 

If he only knew what kind of liar she really was. 

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#spencer reid #spencer reid x oc #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #long reads #rivals to lovers #slow burn #mutual pining #multichapter