#or we're all on the same page except the person who sent the ask because i still don't know if they were being serious or not | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

a-dauntless-daffodil · 1 year

Text

speed reading or skipping paragraphs is a thing both me and my mom

(amazing person) (had me so late i only knew her as cool old lady) (the only reason me and my half siblings and technically not related at all but fuck that siblings got to grow up as family bc she fought tooth and nail with her exes for it) (and by fought i mean gritted her teeth and was polite to the vindictive assholes bc her exs had money and legal status and connections and an education that translated properly so they could have white color jobs while she was being a single mom below the poverty line working part time jobs still somehow making her kids feel like they lived in a magical wonderland and she was the dragon who'd eat anyone that tried hurting us)

had in common

(she died almost a year ago the first anniversary is coming up this is fine)

she grew up also poor af in her home country but her parents sent her to a RICH GIRLS PRIVATE SCHOOL bc her grades were good and this nuclear scientist Doctor Doctor -insert name here- who couldn't do the most simple everyday things (her husband was the same) and was in actual awe of my grandma (who cleaned for them) 's ability to figure out how to hang a picture straight or fix the plumbing

(grandma led her catatonic older sister across an active war zone as a teen and also told stories to my mom about mice who came out at night to read scraps of newspaper she left on the floor for them, she was legally blind and still walking a mile to the local store when i knew her, didn't care a fuck that i didn't know her language and i actually learned several family stories from her somehow)

the Doctor Doctor was convinced my mom would be stifled in a normal school, hence the Everybody Else Here Own A Pony And A Summer House Meanwhile We're Living On The Shack By The House My Dad Is Building For Someone Else situation with mom in rich girls school because of her scores

But

the thing is, my mom was kinda shit at school

(she almost failed one class bc the professor got pissed she wouldn't treat him like a god as a good student should so she refused to do anything in his class except fight with him and he DID fail her, but the other teachers and principle had her do a test and whoops turns out she'd learned his class better on her own than most of his students hehheheh fifty years later she was still gloating about it)

and this has to do with speed reading and skipping because, in one class, you were supposed to take turns reading out of a book and then later pick a topic to write a paper on

well my mom's turn would come, and bc she was like me, she wouldn't actually read the words. She'd see the shape of the sentence, scan the first letter of every line down the page, add that to the topic at hand, and kinda just FEEEL what the section was about

you'd think someone would notice she wasn't reading it right but she was So Confident and Casual about it i guess everyone just went "well i must be reading it wrong her version sounds right"

this worked for her!

until the paper came due, and she was asked to read hers in front of the class

well she hadn't written anything, turns out.

So my mom (who outside of school drifted between wearing boys clothes to scare off her friends exes or leather mini skirts with fishnet stockings and no undies depending on her mood) she picked up a BLANK piece of paper, stood up, and read out the Best, Most Well Thought Out And Insightful Paper her professor had heard all day

good, right? easy peasy pass grade. cheato completo

unfortunately the professor liked it Too much

and they asked. for a copy

So my poor mom had to admit that not only was her brilliant little paper an imaginary thing that didn't exist, she ALSO had to cop to all the OTHER times she hadn't been reading from the book, just to prove to her teacher that her paper WAS fake

(my mom had a real strong if weird sense of integrity. she'd bend the rules into a pretzel, but she hated the idea of being thought of as a Liar, when it was just for personal selfish reasons)

(lying to help someone else was another thing zero fucking hesitation there only gleeful dramatics)

now im not anywhere near my mom in coolness levels, but i also have the thing of skipping around when reading and going by shape and recreating what it might say based on other clues instead of just, seeing each word individually

a lot of the times it works!

it's also why I Can't Get A Driver's License

Reading Manuals Doesn't Work For Me And There's No School Or Instructor Place In Reach So My Can't Drive I'm Gay Credential Is Permanent! It's enforced! I've been assigned pedestrian by whatever the hell seemingly inheritable trait it is that made me and my mom find books in the library via size, color, geographic location and anything OTHER than the gods-damned TITLE!!

(thnx mom) (had to hold the instructions for instant mac and cheese physically in front of my face the entire time it cooked) (you'd have laughed) (i laughed instead tho don't worry) (miss you <3)

#reading difficulties #.#..#....#......#and then she became the best primary school teacher at my school despite only being a teacher's aid #bc she was the only one who'd actually STUDDIED CHILD PSYCHOLOGY #and talked to the kids like they were (shock horror)#People

15 notes · View notes

bedlamsbard · 10 months

Note

Ah, now I remember, the last time I sent you the ask about the Hydra Cap AU you said the same thing about Thor, haha. If you posted more about potential routes you could take I’d be super interested.

@ Tony I didn’t want to come off as someone, like, Angry at how you’ve portrayed him previously; I’ve liked it, and I’d be SUPER interested in swing the Hydra Cap version of him. I didn’t actually make the connection that the Chessmen suits were the divergence point, that’s interesting as hell to me. The way that other characters’ portrayals depend super heavily on point of view is a big chunk of why I keep coming back to your writing, tbh, and it does make sense that Tony in particular gets the short end of the stick a lot for that, haha.

I just read the marvel fandom wiki page about the Chessmen and this is fucking hilarious, oh my god.

With Thor I think it really just comes down to what the hell Hydra does when it rolls up to Mjolnir in Thor. The thing I definitely don't want to do is get Thor captured by Hydra and still being held by Hydra when Steve gets defrosted; that's certainly a potentially interesting plot and I know that there are a couple of fics that have done something similar with Loki getting captured by SHIELD/Hydra, but I personally don't want to go there. I think ultimately it has to get to a point where either the Chitauri don't attack in 2012 or Loki doesn't attack in 2012 (with Thanos's involvement, these two aren't mutually exclusive; there could be an offworld attempt at the Tesseract even without an Asgardian involved, but it's way less likely). And in this context that has to be related to what SHIELD (a.k.a. Hydra) is doing in Puente Antiguo, which doesn't offer a whole lot of options to affect what Loki is doing in Asgard.

Thor is kind of interesting because SHIELD is portrayed antagonistically for the first time in Phase 1, since we're seeing them being very high-handed from Jane's POV. Hydra would be even more high-handed and aggressive -- instead of just confiscating Jane's equipment and research, maybe they also take Jane and Selvig into custody, leaving Darcy behind because she's "useless" for those purposes, meaning Darcy is the one who takes Thor out to the Mjolnir site. Say at this point Coulson is still undercover with Hydra, rather than already having been outed as one of Fury's SHIELD loyalists; after Thor is captured too, Coulson makes the decision to break his cover and break Thor, Jane, and Selvig out, where they meet up with Darcy and he spirits them off to one of the realSHIELD black sites. In retaliation, Hydra trumps up accusations of academic dishonesty/treason/etc. for Jane, Selvig, and Darcy, meaning they can't go back to their real lives; that puts all of Team Thor with realSHIELD. This also gives us an "unworthy" Thor who doesn't have Mjolnir and who thinks he doesn't have his powers, meaning that he probably goes through his Ragnarok "what were you the god of?" arc four movies early, with Mjolnir at the site of what later gets built up as a permanent Hydra base. (This also means that, depending on whether realSHIELD or Hydra kept the Tesseract, that Selvig isn't there to fuck around with the Tesseract, thus gaining Thanos's attention and bringing the Chitauri down on them, which also solves that problem.)

Except that still leaves us back with Asgard. If Thor is thrown immediately into a cell or a more secure holding place than in the film, maybe Loki doesn't come to visit, because to him this appears like a more likely way to keep Thor out of the way than in canon, especially because it now looks like Thor is never going to get access to Mjolnir again. Maybe it means that he panics less than he does in canon and looks generally less suspicious -- the problem here is that, being a Loki fan, I am also turning cartwheels to keep Loki from immediately leaping to genocide as his best option. (Normally I am all in favor of letting Loki keep culpability for all the horrible shit he does, but the goal here is NOT to set up interplanetary warfare.) It looks from the film like Loki visits Thor on Earth and Laufey in Jotunheim on the same trip, or at least that it can be interpreted that way; if he doesn't do the one, then maybe he also doesn't do the other, and thus doesn't immediately arouse Heimdall's suspicion to the same extent as in canon, meaning Heimdall is not going to send Sif and the Warriors Three to Earth, meaning Loki isn't going to send the Destroyer after them because he's panicking. This gives him more space to figure out a less fucked up way of dealing with the Jotunheim problem, which could even be "wait until Odin wakes up," which was always the goal even in canon. If Loki's not on a panicked bad decisions spiral, things on Asgard don't go as badly as they do in canon; the political situation is probably still very tense, but assuming Odin wakes up fairly soon anyway, to his point of view Thor is going on his intended character arc the long way round and he won't give Heimdall, Sif, and the W3 the opportunity to try and expedite that the way it does in canon. They can deal with the Jotunheim problem with politics, the Bifrost is still intact, Asgard is keeping a more watchful eye on Earth to see what Thor's doing but is under strict orders NOT to interfere.

...okay, that actually solves the Thor problem with this AU. (and gives everyone a good idea of how my AU development train of thought works.)

The Chessmen suits aren't the divergence point, but the outcome of Stane keeping hold of the Iron Monger armor and mass-producing similar suits, which he says he wants to do in IM1. I've just borrowed the Chessmen name from the comics, rather than going 1:1 to transfer the comics characters over. The divergence point is the Tony-Stane fight on the roof of Stark Industries at the end of IM1.

I get a little tetchy about Tony because Steve is my favorite character and as a result I get accused of not being a Tony fan -- it really is just the time period and POVs I mostly tend to write in! He's obviously fine and not negatively portrayed in Yonder! (Though if I'd known later that I'd be rolling around in that universe for a while, I'd have started Yonder a chapter earlier to actually introduce Tony as a potential "willing to work with this particular team" -- I might still do this as a one-shot prequel at some point, but I'm really wary about working in the Yonderverse right now because Horizon was not popular.) (I cut multiple scenes from Horizon where he appeared in order to keep the impact of that last sequence.) I do think Tony is consistently making spectacularly bad decisions from AoU onwards; that doesn't mean I don't like the character, it just means it's interesting to interpret why and how he goes there. Blame the Russos and the rest of the MCU PTB for those decisions, not me for having fun with the consequences. (Generally meant, not aimed at you.) I try really hard not to dislike characters, because getting to that point never ends well as a fic writer or even as a fan in general. (When I got there in Star Wars, it was probably the end of the line for the fandom.)

#I'm also in a bad mood today so some of that is probably coming out in my responses to people :(#typeoneninja #bedlam replies #ws steve au concept tag

9 notes · View notes

the-blind-assassin-12 · 1 year

Note

Hey! This is the person that did the inquisitor request. I just wanted to say I didn’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings at all! I’ve tried requesting things to one person and get no response, so I didn’t think it was bad to ask multiple people I admire but I see how it can be rude. Sorry if I offended you!!

Hi, anon!

So I want to start off by saying how much I genuinely appreciate this apology message. It's not easy for a lot of people to own up to their mistakes - especially ones that they didn't necessarily realize they were making - so truly, thank you for coming forward and saying something. It means a lot to me, and I'm sure it means a lot to other writers who might read this, too.

The rest is going under a cut because it got kind of long.

I believe you when you say that you didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Unfortunately -in my own inbox and from posts I've seen others make - I've seen what anon messages look like when they are intentionally mean or hurtful, and the request that you sent was not like those at all. Nothing that you said in the actual request was offensive, whereas there are people who use the anon function just to be nasty.

But that doesn't mean that it was the best way to go about making this request, and I think you understand that now based on you sending this message, which again I thank you for doing. Sending the same request to multiple writers just hoping someone writes it makes us feel like you see us as interchangeable, like we don't all have our own unique writing style and voice. It makes us feel like you see us as on demand streaming services, like if Hulu doesn't have the show you're looking for you can just change the channel and go try Netflix or Amazon Prime. But we're not on demand streaming services, we are people who have lives and jobs and pets and families and other interests and obligations and we choose to share the stories that we write with the rest of the world for free.

I'm sorry that you've not had luck making requests in the past. It can be a bummer to not be able to find the types of stories that you want to read. You can, of course, try your hand at writing it yourself. That can seem daunting if you've never tried to write a story before, but it sounds like you have pretty specific ideas for plots and characters so it might be worth a shot / a fun challenge for yourself. But if you're not interested in giving that a go, here are some tips from a writer on how to get your requests written:

Make sure that the writer that you're sending the request to takes requests. Some people put that info right on their page but others don't. It doesn't hurt to ask before sending a request. Just shoot a message like: "Hey, I've read some of your work and really enjoy your writing. I was wondering if you took requests and if you do, would it be alright if I sent one?" Most people, if you ask nicely, will answer nicely, even if the answer is no.

Be willing to wait. A lot of writers, even if they openly encourage requests, already have a lot on their creative plates. They might be trying to finish a wip they've been working on for weeks or months or even years. They might love the request that you sent in, but might not be able to work on it right away because they're focusing on other things. It might have to simmer on the back burner while they think about the best way to execute it, so try to be patient whenever you make requests. You can even add in something like : "I know you're probably working on other things so don't feel rushed or pressured!" That goes a long way to help a writer feel appreciated for the work they are doing, as well as encouraged to continue working on things both new and old.

Think about the request that you want to make and try to figure out which writer that you've read work from might be the best fit for it. One size doesn't typically fit all for... well for anything, except maybe those giant foam finger things they sell at sporting events. Chances are if you read a lot of fic from a lot of different writers, you've started to figure out what their style is like and what types of tropes and themes they tend to write. A more targeted request based on matching the nature of the prompt with a writer who you think will do well with it has a better chance of getting written, because it shows the writer that you see them and their strengths as a writer and you think that the challenge you're presenting is one that they can handle really well. You can say something like "I read your story XXX and the way that you wrote Din's emotional response to the plot twist was excellent. I think you would be great at writing {insert request here} because of how you handled that story."

I hope you found this helpful, anon, and I hope that going forward you are able to make requests and get to read the types of things you are looking for. And I truly hope that you have a lovely night!

#thank you anon #anon asks #requests #request etiquette #anon this was really appreciated #how to ask a writer to write something

4 notes · View notes

kinnoth · 1 month

Note

Noble children are fostered from the ages of seven to maturity at 16 or so. In no human hands to touch Morgause says "The seven-year-old I had fought with and beaten and solaced regarded me through the poised and guarded gaze of the young man." I would assume that Artos send Medraut away to be fostered shortly after the birth of his own legitimate children. The story starts with the sentence "WHEN MEDRAUT STEPPED OFF the merchants’ ship I had not seen him since Artos, his father the high king, had taken him from me at ten" Did he spend only three years with her? It would certainly explain his defiance and kindness. Had he been his whole childhood with her he would have been to brainwashed and felt not the level of loyality to his father he does right now.

Ok. Guys. Storytime.

I gotta tell you. I originally read "the winter prince" in the year 2000. My first copy of "the winter prince" was a library copy, and then, because I read it so many times, I asked my mom to buy me a copy, which she did. And that's the copy I've had ever since.

Then, in the year 2020, during the pandemic, I was like, to my wife, hey, since we're bored, do you want to read this really short book with me, I remember being really into it as a child. And so we read it together, and I was like "lol I guess this book was more fundamental to my development than I thought it was", and so I started pulling it apart, like ya do.

And it was only then that I discovered that Liz had written more entries into this universe. I found the first couple of pages of the first "lion hunter" book online, didn't like it, and so just completely wrote it and everything else re: "books liz wrote after the original book" out of my mind

This is all to say, I had to look up "no human hands to touch". I didn't know it existed until literally right now. I am not interested in reading it. I am not interested in any part of this story other than the original book that I unwisely imprinted upon as a child. Ironically, I don't think Liz herself is interested in the original entry of this series, seeing as she appears to play it very loosey-goosey with the original chronology and themes in the subsequent books.

Now, regarding your interpretation of this timeline:

I don't think it makes sense for artos to have raised medraut between the ages of birth and 7. Morgause would have birthed him, so she would be the obvious one to keep him, especially if artos was as ashamed of his bastard-by-incest as he appears to be. Morgause's seduction of artos and then her subsequent reveal that she is his sister is probably what got her put into permanent exile in the first place.

I also don't think there is evidence to support medraut being sent away for fostering after artos took him in at age 10. We know lleu and goewin grew up with him in the household. We know that lleu wrote to him for 5-6 years while medraut was sent around europe and Africa, and he wouldn't have done that if his brother were a stranger to him.

I do think you are underestimating the amount of damage that can be psychologically inflicted upon a child within the first 10 years of life. Medraut was viciously tortured, beaten, burned, ostracized from Morgause's entire household. He had no relationship with any of Morgause's other children except to be beaten for infractions they caused. His only positive relationship in that house was with Morgause, his torturer, who was also the only person who would lovingly comfort him after he had sustained her tortures. Like, I don't think I can overstate how fucked up that can make a child.

The next ten years of his life he spends with artos, who is never loving to him, but who is also just, calm, consistent, and fair. Artos has him cared for and educated, and while Medraut is never legitimized, he is allowed to be a part of Artos' household.

It is not difficult to imagine why medraut would feel safety with his father and loyalty toward him, while still at the same time craving his mother's approval. I don't think this is a farfetched psychology to ascribe to a man.

#the winter prince

0 notes

michaelgovehateblog · 3 years

Text

basically all the tags on the ask i got about the prince philip worship cult are people also going "what the fuck" and i'm just glad to see we're all on the same page about this

#also the fact that by chance i happened to reblog it just before the news that he died was a fun coincidence #or we're all on the same page except the person who sent the ask because i still don't know if they were being serious or not

34 notes · View notes

respectable-username · 3 years

Text

🔐 Why You (Probably) Don't Need A VPN

A rant by a software engineer sick of VPN ads from her favourite YouTubers

TL;DR:

Here are some legitimate reasons the average internet user might want to use a VPN:

To connect to their company's internal network

To bypass the Great Firewall of China (or other types of website blocks at country or organisation level)

To watch Netflix etc as if you were in another country

Here are absolutely rubbish reasons to use a VPN:

Privacy

And today, I'll tell you why.

Hang on, won't a VPN stop hackers from stealing my passwords?

I mean, it does encrypt the web traffic coming from your device.

You know what else encrypts web traffic coming from your device? Your browser.

Yes, in the year 2021, pretty much all websites on the internet are accessed over HTTPS. The "S" stands for "secure", as in "your request will be securely encrypted". If your browser is using HTTPS, nobody can capture the data you're sending over the internet. More detail in the "I like too much detail" section at the bottom of this post.

It's very easy to check if you are using HTTPS by looking at your URL bar. In most browsers, it will have a lock on it if secure:

(From top left to bottom right: Chrome on iOS, Safari on iOS, Chrome on Windows, Edge on Windows, Firefox on Windows, and Safari on Mac. Screenshots reflect the UI at the time this post was written. Oh gosh this has taken over 4 hours to write.)

But isn't moar encryption better? What if somebody breaks HTTPS?

For starters, nobody's breaking your HTTPS, and there isn't any benefit from double encrypting. This is because of the maths behind encryption/decryption!

Encryption works kinda like a lock and key, except the lock is maths and the key is a special number only known to the person allowed to unlock the information.

The important thing is, without the key, all the locked data looks like complete and utter garbage. Completely unusable. Barely distinguishable from random noise. There's absolutely no way to tell what the original data was.

The other important thing is that the key is nearly unguessable. As in, with current technology, will generally take more than the lifetime of the universe to guess by chance. And when technology gets faster, we just make the numbers bigger again until they're once again secure.

For any major website you use, they will use a strong encryption algorithm (ie lock) with big numbers so your keys will be strong enough to withstand an attack. This means your data is safe as long as that lock icon is in your URL bar.

A VPN will not make the existing garble any more garbled. The extra $10/month or whatever you're paying for does not buy you any extra protection.

If you want to know more about how encryption and HTTPS in particular work, see the "I like too much detail" section at the end of this post.

Something something viruses

How's a VPN going to stop viruses? It controls the path your internet traffic takes, not the content that gets sent down that path. I guess it could block some known virus-giving hosts? But if it's known to the VPN provider, it's probably also known to the built-in antivirus on your computer who can block it for you.

(Oh yeah, 3rd party antivirus is another thing that's not worth paying for these days. Microsoft's built-in Windows Defender is as good as the third party options, and something something Macs don't get viruses easily because of how they're architected.)

Honestly though, keep your software up to date, don't click on anything suspicious, don't open files from sources you don't trust, and you'll be right most of the time.

And keep your software up to date. Then update your software. Hey, did I mention keeping your stuff updated? Update! Now! It only takes a few minutes. Please update to the latest version of your software I'm begging you. It's the number 1 way to protect yourself from viruses and other malware. Most major software attacks could have been prevented if people just updated their damn software!

But my ISP is spying on me!

Ok, it is true that there are TWO bits of data that HTTPS can't and won't hide. Those are:

The source of a request (your IP)

What website that request is going to (the website's IP)

These are the bits of information that routers use to know where to send your data, so of course they can't be hidden as the data is moving across the internet. And people can see that information very easily if they want to.

Note: this will show which website you're going to, but not which page you're looking at, and not the content of that page. So it will show that you were on Tumblr, but will not show anyone that you're still reading SuperWhoLock content in 2021.

It's this source/destination information that VPNs hide, which is why they can be used to bypass website blocks and region locks.

By using a VPN, those sniffing traffic on your side of the VPN will just show you connecting to the VPN, not the actual website you want. That means you can read AO3 at work/school without your boss/teachers knowing (unless they look over your shoulder of course).

As for those sniffing on the websites end, including the website itself, they will see the VPN as the source of the connection, not you. So if you're in the US and using a VPN node in the UK, Netflix will see you as being in the UK and show you their British library rather than the American one.

If this is what you're using a VPN for and you think the price is fair, then by all means keep doing it! This is 100% what VPNs are good for.

HOWEVER, and this is a big "however", if it's your ISP you're trying to hide your internet traffic from, then you will want to think twice before using a VPN.

Let me put it this way. Without a VPN, your ISP knows every website you connect to and when. With a VPN, do you know who has that exact same information? The VPN provider. Sure, many claim to not keep logs, but do you really trust the people asking for you to send them all your data for a fee to not just turn around and sell your data on for a profit, or worse?

In effect, you're trading one snooper for another. One snooper is heavily regulated, in many jurisdictions must obey net neutrality, and is already getting a big fee from you regardless of where you browse. The other isn't. Again, it's all a matter of who you trust more.

For me personally, I trust my ISP more than a random VPN provider, if for no other reason than my ISP is an old enough company with enough inertia and incompetence that I don't think they could organise to sell my data even if they wanted to. And with the amount of money I'm paying them per month, they've only got everything to lose if they broke consumer trust by on-selling that data. So yeah, I trust my ISP more with my privacy than the random VPN company.

But my VPN comes with a password manager!

Password managers are great. I 100% recommend you use a password manager. If there's one thing you could do right now to improve your security (other than updating your software, speaking of, have you updated yet?), it's getting and using a password manager.

Password managers also come for free.

I'm currently using LastPass free, but am planning to switch after they did a bad capitalism and only let their free accounts access either laptop or mobile but not both now. I personally am planning to move to Bitwarden on friends' recommendation since it's not only free but open source and available across devices. I also have friends who use passbolt and enjoy it, which is also free and open source, but it's also a bit DIY to set up. Great if you like tinkering though! And there are probably many other options out there if you do a bit of googling.

So, yeah, please use a password manager, but don't pay for it unless you actually have use for the extra features.

No I really need to hide my internet activity from everybody for reasons

In this case, you're probably looking for TOR. TOR is basically untraceable. It's also a terrible user experience for the most part because of this, so I'd only recommend it if you need it, such as if you're trying to escape the Great Firewall. But please don't use it for Bad Crimes. I am not to be held liable for any crime committed using information learned from this post.

Further reading viewing

If you want to know more about why you don't need a VPN, see Tom Scott's amazing video on the subject. It's honestly a great intro for beginners.

I like too much detail

Ahhh, so you're the type of person who doesn't get turned off by long explanations I see. Well, here's a little more info on the stuff I oversimplified in the main post about encryption. Uhh, words get bigger and more jargony in this section.

So first oversimplification: the assumption that all web traffic is either HTTP or HTTPS. This isn't exactly true. There are many other application layer internet standards out there, such as ssh, ftp, websockets, and all the proprietary standards certain companies use for stuff such as streaming and video conferencing. Some of these are secure, using TLS or some other security algorithm under the hood, and some of them aren't.

But most of the web requests you care about are HTTP/HTTPS calls. As for the rest, if they come from a company of a decent size that hasn't been hacked off the face of the planet already, they're probably also secure. In other words, you don't need to worry about it.

Next, we've already said that encryption works as a lock and a key, where the lock is a maths formula and the key is a number. But how do we get that key to lock and unlock the data?

Well, to answer that, we first need to talk about the two different types of encryption: symmetric and asymmetric. Symmetric encryption such as AES uses the same key to both encrypt and decrypt data, whereas asymmetric encryption such as RSA uses a different key to encode and decode.

For the sake of my writing, we're going to call the person encrypting Alice, the person decrypting Bob, and the eavesdropper trying to break our communications Eve from now on. These are standard names in crypto FYI. Also, crypto is short for cryptography not cryptocurrencies. Get your Bitcoin and Etherium outta here!

Sorry if things start getting incoherent. I'm tired. It's after 1am now.

So first, how do we get the key from symmetric crypto? This is probably the easier place to start. Well, you need a number, any number of sufficient size, that both Alice and Bob know. There are many ways you could share this number. They could decide it when they meet in person. They could send it to each other using carrier pigeons. Or they could radio it via morse code. But those aren't convenient, and somebody could intercept the number and use it to read all their messages.

So what we use instead is a super clever algorithm called Diffie-Hellman, which uses maths and, in particular, the fact it's really hard to factor large numbers (probably NP Hard to be specific, but there's no actual proof of that). The Wikipedia page for this is surprisingly easy to read, so I'll just direct you there to read all about it because I've been writing for too long. This algorithm allows Alice and Bob to agree on a secret number, despite Eve being able to read everything they send each other.

Now Alice and Bob have this secret number key, they can talk in private. Alice puts her message and the key into the encryption algorithm and out pops what looks like a load of garbage. She can then send this garbage to Bob without worrying about Eve being able to read it. Bob can then put the garbage and the key into the decryption algorithm to undo the scrambling and get the original message out telling him where the good donuts are. Voila, they're done!

But how does Alice know that she's sending her message to Bob and not Eve? Eve could pretend to be Bob so that Alice does the Diffie-Hellman dance with her instead and sends her the secret location of the good donuts instead.

This is where asymmetric crypto comes in! This is the one with private and public keys, and the one that uses prime numbers.

I'm not 100% across the maths on this one TBH, but it has something to do with group theory. Anyway, just like Diffie-Hellman, it relies on the fact that prime factorisation is hard, and so it does some magic with semi-primes, ie numbers with only 2 prime factors other than 1. Google it if you want to know more. I kinda zoned out of this bit in my security courses. Maths hard

But the effect of that maths is easier to explain: things that are encoded with one of the keys can only be decoded with the other key. This means that one of those keys can be well-known to the public and the other is known only to the person it belongs to.

If Alice wants to send a message to Bob and just Bob, no Eve allowed, she can first look up Bob's public key and encrypt a beginning message with that. Once Bob receives the message, he can decrypt it with his private key and read the contents. Eve can't read the contents though because, even though she has Bob's public key, she doesn't know his private key.

This public key information is what the lock in your browser is all about BTW. It's saying that the website is legit based on the public key they provide.

So why do we need symmetric crypto when we have asymmetric crypto? Seems a lot less hassle to exchange keys with asymmetric crypto.

Well, it's because asymmetric crypto is slooooow. So, in TLS, the security algorithm that puts the "S" in "HTTPS", asymmetric RSA is used to establish the initial connection and figure out what symmetric key to use, and then the rest of the session uses AES symmetric encryption using the agreed secret key.

And there you have it! Crypto in slightly-less-short-but-still-high-enough-level-that-I-hope-you-understand.

Just realised how long this section is. Well, I did call it "too much detail" for a reason.

Now, next question is what exactly is and isn't encrypted using HTTPS.

Well, as I said earlier, it's basically just the source IP:port and the destination IP:port. In fact, this information is actually communicated on the logical layer below the application layer HTTPS is on, known as the transport layer. Again, as I said before, you can't really encrypt this unless you don't want your data to reach the place you want at all.

Also, DNS is unencrypted. A DNS request is a request that turns a domain name, such as tumblr.com, into an IP address, by asking a special server called a Domain Name Server where to find the website you're looking for. A DNS request is made before an HTTP(S) request. Anyone who can read your internet traffic can therefore tell you wanted to go to Tumblr.

But importantly, this only shows the domain name, not the full URL. The rest of the URL, the part after the third slash (the first two slashes being part of http://), is stuff that's interpreted by the server itself and so isn't needed during transport. Therefore, it encrypted and completely unreadable, just like all the content on your page.

I was going to show a Wireshark scan of a web request using HTTP and HTTPS to show you the difference, but this has taken long enough to write as it is, so sorry!

I could probably write more, but it's 1:30am and I'm sleepy. I hope you found some of this interesting and think twice before purchasing a VPN subscription. Again, there are legit good uses for a VPN, but they're not the ones primarily being advertised in VPN ads. It's the fact that VPN ads rely so heavily on false advertising that really grinds my gears and made me want to do this rant. It's especially bad when it comes from somebody I'd think of as technologically competent (naming no names here, but if you've worked in tech and still promote VPNs as a way to keep data safe... no). Feel free to ask questions if you want and hopefully I'll get around to answering any that I feel I know enough to answer.

Nighty night Tumblr. Please update your software. And use a (free) password manager. And enable two factor authentication on all your accounts. But mostly just update your software.

#technology #vpn #things you don't need #things that piss me off #res rambles #res writes

578 notes · View notes

vickylamore · 3 years

Text

Spilling The Toxic Tea | BBH | CHP 1

Social Media AU, Podcast AU, CEO AU

Pairing: Song (Y/n) x EXO (OT6), Song (Y/n) x Byun Baekhyun

Genre: Crack, Enemies To Lovers, Romance, Slice Of Life.

Prev // Next

▪︎☆▪︎☆▪︎☆▪︎

Baekhyun sighed, muted the groupchat and ruffled his hair. The last drops of the coffee dripped in the mug like rain falling into a puddle and only got up to restock on his sole energy. Like he told them, business men don't sleep if time's still running.

He was back at home in his small penthouse after spending an entire day with, what the media loves to call them, SM's Most Valuable Treasures, that is until their boy group have a next comeback. Working with Sehun and Kai is like trying to put curious toddlers back sleep— they don't shut up.

If Baekhyun had a penny for evertime Sehun Jongin said anything unfunny and laughed, he'd be twice as rich compared to now.

In his home wear outfit, composed by a simple white tea and joggers, he walked across the room to his kitchen, phone still in hand. Raven huh? He grinned smugly and leaned against the counter. Let's see what she's all about.

Its not like he had anything better to do; there was a stack of emails he had yet to reply to any of them (that's because most of them are customer reviews that are still sent to his email despite making it explicitly clear to his secretary that he didnt want them anymore) and decided to enjoy his evening. Well, that is until Sehun and Jongin mentionned this oh-so popular persona named Raven.

Obviously, he stalked her instagram and Twitter, thumb scrolling, eyes scanning and reading every tweet on her page. "Is this what people are interested in nowadays?" He laughed. "That's depressing." He wasn't used to the slang or cool features the teens were invested in. He'd always envy them though. "So what? A girl exposing people? Sounds pretty idiotic to me, ruining peoples lives and all."

His eyes caught her most recent tweets and, like curiosity killed the cat, he clicked on the link of her latest tweet, which brought him to a podcast waiting room.

"Oh," he mumbled, returning to his couch. With gliding feet again, Baekhyun voiced out, "Alexa!" The voice answers. "Listen to... S-Spill The Tox—"

"Do you mean... Spilling The Toxic Tea w/ Raven on Spotify?" Baekhyun’s eyes rose ever so slight, intrigued yet cold eyes looked at the small device on his shelf directly next to the TV.

"Yes? I don't know."

The chime of the podcast played for a brief second but the voice comes out dark and distorted yet small... and sounds like a kid. Imagine if it was a kid, Baekhyun snickered. He turned out his phone, "alexa, play STTT(?)."

[15 MINS REMAINING ON PODCAST]

DATE: Thursday, March 09, 2020

Poadcast Title: STTT w/ Raven Ep. 54: Let's Get Real

[3…]

[2...]

[1...]

*chime starts*

She's here, she's there, she's everywhere, who you gonna end? That's So Raven (plagiarized!)!

*GO!*

I mean, I really hope you don't end me, that'd be so inconvenient for you guys. Like imagine killing the only person who kept your sanity in check, you motherfuckers will be dropping like flies left in right!

Anyways, I hope everyone is doing okay, I'm fine I guess? I'm just emotionally drained and it sucks because with everything going on, now is not the time to get tired but here we are. I hope everyone is okay, even you ugly personality ones that have nothing matter to do except throw hate at innocent people, I hope yall recover.

Because today is Thursday, I'm not going to waste any time and immedately start on the spilled tea, cause that's what half of you guys are here for! Although, everyone should also watch my podcasts on Tuesdays— they're just as entertaining and dont involve ruining people's lives... ish.

But imagine this; you're a man, tall, handsome and making millions before the start of your career. You have thousands of fans all over the world, the most being in South Korea. You, fully knowing this fact, try your best to avoid any scandals or misinformation. You painted yourself into a portrait of a perfect man, perfect husband and perfect father. Your famous smile fools everyone, even to your own wife because when the smile drops, you go the neatest hotel and sleep with your mistress for the last three years.

"Get on with it," Baekhyun rolled his eyes and got up from his seat, his mug felt empty and needs to filled once more. He mockingly scoffed, an agitated smile playing on his lips. "I bet you're just talking because you have no one to talk about or proof."

The deepened distorted feminine voice chuckled through the radio and even if the podcast was precorded, it sounded like she was mocking him for not believing her podcasts, the kind of laugh that screamed "just you wait." He glared at the device standing on his tall beige multiple squared shelf with shining silver outline. Baekhyun rolled his eyes again and refilled the mug.

... not only did you cheat on your wife on your first year anniversary since you were married, you also blamed her for your relationship problems revealed in a voice recording that had yet to be leaked... by me of course. Imagine blaming your wife, the same one that you're cheating, for relationship troubles while you're fucking another woman. Embarrassing.

You, still acting as the son of a bitch, also payed seventeen thousand dollars for his mistress birthday party, to which he addened with his wife. God, it just keeps getting worse. You also stole money form the charity galas you were organizing, caught at a lingery store before ans people blew it off thinking you both the garments for your CURRENT wife but was for your mistress. Oh, not to mention that your mistress just turned 19 and you met her three years prior. Damn Siwon, looks like you got your hands tied.

The scorching hot coffee that was slipping down his throat came back up like a rocket, and a shower of coffee and saliva blew out of Baekhyun mouth with widened eyes and pounding head. He coughed vigorously trying to catch his breath while the deep robotic female voice kept talking in the background, compeltely oblivious to the damage she'd just cause.

Something started ringing and Baekhyun turned off his mini Alexa's volume to answer his phone. Its when the voice spoke into his ear that he truly understood what was happening and his face turned into a blank stare, dark eyes staring at themselves in the reflection of a stained mirror.

"You heard what just came out?" Baekhyun nodded and clicked his tongue a few times. "The guy's are blowing up the groupchat but you didnt look at i—"

"We're in deep shit Myeon," Baekhyun whispered sotfly, eyes glaring at the device in front of him, moreover, the girl behind everything. "Really deep shit."

▪︎▪︎

Taglist - @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l @pocky-otp @itsyaapollochild @layzfeelit

▪︎☆ Please send an ask or leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list! ☆▪︎

#exo social media au #vickylamore #vickywritings #exo x y/n #exo x reader #exo #exo text #exo texts #exo fic #exo imagines #exo fics #exo scenarios #exo baekhyun #exo byun baekhyun #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun x reader #byun baekhyun x reader #byun baekhyun #IM TIRED ITS 12 LMAO

73 notes · View notes

that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick · 3 years

Text

Summary: Winry sat in the optimal place to study in the school cafe for the entire fall semester. Then spring came, and suddenly some self-entitled twit who dressed like off-brand Gerard Way decided it was his territory. He was so not going to get off easy.

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.8k words of coffee shop/college AU with a side of enemies to almost-lovers

A/N: It's finals week, I posted this on Ao3 at almost 5am, and if the rest of the sentence didn't make it obvious, I'm writing from unfortunate experience. Not beta-ed or proofread, although I happened to see one thing to fix when I woke up this morning. Feel my raw power. Rawr.

It wasn't that big a deal.

It kind of really was, though.

Every Thursday morning during the fall semester, Winry sat in the same spot at the same school coffee shop. It was the spot sent by the entire patron pantheon of cram papers. Maybe one person didn't need an entire booth, but it was in the corner, and the tops of the bench seats had opaque plastic barriers that just so happened to be perfect for minimizing excess visual chaos. For the most part, there weren't loud conversations, and the jazz music that came through the speakers helped her tune out people ordering coffee. Add to that the fact that she could use campus flex dollars and not her own bank account that was begging for mercy, and it was the perfect spot to get papers done.

But apparently not this spring.

As soon as Winry walked in, she noticed him in the corner. Some emo wannabe guy on his computer. Probably on Reddit complaining about how women didn't appreciate the amazing pics he sent them on Tinder. Or at least, it was a fair guess based on the sour look on his face. Why did this guy of all people have to steal the holy grail spot? Ugh. She was still gonna get her coffee, darn it.

"You know the deal, Sciezska. Medium roast with a shot of espresso and vanilla creamer."

"On it! You paying in flex?"

"Yeah." She scanned her student ID and lowered her voice. "Who's off-brand Gerard Way in the corner?"

"Who's Ger—"

"The punk kid."

"Ohhh. I can try to get his number for you, if you want."

"No, he looks like a total tool! And not the kind I like dealing with!"

"Which means you think he's hot. I didn't think you were into that type, but you're not wrong."

"For the last time, no, Sciezska! He took my spot! And I'm trying very, very hard to keep this to a stage whisper, but if you keep trying to set me up with some random creep, I won't be able to!"

A distinctly male voice grumbled, "I'm not a creep."

"Keep telling that to the girls on Tinder. I'm sure they'll understand eventually."

"Yeah, and I'll bet if you look at your 'Live, Laugh, Love' sign a little more, you'll understand it eventually." He mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that, Mr. Nice Guy?"

"Lay off, it's eight in the morning. I said the only reason I even have a Tinder account is because my roommate stole my phone while I was going to the bathroom."

"Well, if you didn't want it, why didn't you delete it?"

"Eh, I figured if I really got sick of being single one day, it'd already be there."

"Never would have guessed you were single," Winry said dryly.

"Come on, it's way too early to be rubbing that kind of crap in. Who says I'm not fine with being single anyway?"

Sciezska timidly spoke up. "Medium roast with espresso and vanilla creamer?"

Winry thanked her as red jacket boy continued. "'Edward Elric, Bachelor.' Almost sounds as good as 'Edward Elric, Bachelor of Science.'"

"B.S. degree. Sounds about right."

"About time you stopped acting like I'm an idiot!"

Winry snorted. "That's not what I meant."

"Hey!"

"And with that, I'm going to go find some other spot to write my paper."

Edward, as his name apparently was, scoffed and mumbled something that sounded like "good riddance". Maybe the librarians wouldn't get on her case too much for bringing in coffee.

-----

A week later, Winry walked into the cafe, assuming the circumstances of the previous week were an anomaly. They were not.

"Medium roast with a shot of espresso and vanilla creamer," she grumbled and sulked in the direction of the corner seat.

"Hey, don't start with me again, blondie. I've had a whopping four hours of sleep and I can't promise you'll like what comes out of my mouth."

"We're at a coffee shop. Get some coffee. I can't help it if you're too hung over to be polite."

"Now look, genius. I did not stay up until 4 A.M. working on a stupid chem paper for that sadistic pyromaniac excuse for a professor just for some random chick to accuse me of being hung over."

"Oh."

"Yeah. And for your information, coffee doesn't really help me wake up. It just helps me focus on homework." He lifted up his empty cup and gave it a shake.

"That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard."

"ADHD is a weird thing, and yet, here I am."

"Huh, interesting."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pick up where I left off with the same stupid ten page paper I started last night."

"Oh right. Sure," Winry stammered. "Listen, I'm really sorry I just assumed things about you. It was wrong of me, and I'd like to make it up to you, if that's okay."

Edward eyed her suspiciously. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well...I could look over your paper once you're done writing it? I've got a paper of my own to write while I'm waiting, and I can sit right across the table here so you don't have to come get me. I won't try to talk to you or anything. Neither of us need that kind of distraction."

"Alright, alright. Get your coffee and sit down. The girl at the counter's been up there waiting for a good minute or two while you've been at confessional over here."

"Wait, she has?" Winry's eyes widened, and Edward laughed at her expense. He was kind of attractive when he wasn't scowling...wait what? She pouted and got up to retrieve her coffee. When Winry returned, she plopped down on the bench opposite Edward and opened her laptop. Peeking out from behind it, she added, "By the way, I'm Winry. I figured you ought to at least know the name of the person who's proofreading your paper."

"Well, Winry, you're the one who volunteered." The corners of his mouth twitched upward. The two worked on their assignments in silence, occasionally speaking up when necessary.

-----

Edward was in the corner again the next week as well.

"Hey, Edward! Mind if I join you for homework again?"

"Normally, I'd say no, but you didn't bother me too much last week, so you might as well." He turned away slightly.

"Great! Have you gotten your coffee yet? I didn't see a cup, and you got something the last two times."

"Eh, I haven't been here long. If you're going up and getting yours, would you mind ordering a caramel macchiato for me?" He asked, sliding his ID across the table.

"Yeah, no problem. I'll be back in a sec."

She returned and slipped his ID back before pulling out her computer. "Do you have anything for me to look over this time?"

"Not this week. But if you have anything you need looked over, I can do that, too."

"Actually, I do, if you wouldn't mind."

"Winry, I just volunteered. Just send the paper to my school email. Mine's 'elricedwa'," he instructed as he proceeded to spell it.

"Medium roast and a caramel macchiato?" Sciezska called out.

"Coming!" Winry replied and turned to Edward. "I just sent it, so you should be able to start while I'm getting our stuff." Eyes glued to his laptop, Edward gave a thumbs up.

Once she returned with their drinks, Winry sat down and wordlessly set Edward's drink next to him.

"Thanks," he muttered distantly. His lips mirrored the words he was reading. Though his lips weren't plump by any stretch of the imagination, they were shapely. His steely concentration made the air leave Winry's lungs. To top it all off, the first rays of sunlight came through the window just right, hitting Edward's hair in a way that made it positively glow.

What was she thinking? Those were only the sorts of things people thought when they had a crush. She'd only had two positive interactions with him, including this one. ...well, maybe it was a crush. She could certainly do worse than someone with a questionable fashion sense. After all, he worked hard, and he got good grades, if the quality of his writing was any indication. Okay, fine. He was also drop dead gorgeous, if you could see past his clothing choices. Yeah, she had a crush.

"Did you hear anything I just said?"

"...no."

"Figures. I finished reading your paper. It's not bad, I just left a few suggestions for sentence structure. Now I am going to enjoy my caramel macchiato." He took off the lid and breathed in the steam with his eyes closed, nearly drooping into the cup in content. When he opened his eyes slowly, Winry was awestruck by the similarity between the color of his eyes and his drink.

"What?" Edward furrowed his eyebrows.

"Nothing. I didn't say anything. At all. Nope."

"Okay." He shrugged. She reopened the document and went through his suggested edits. Gnawing her lip in concentration, she leaned forward a bit to settle in and tackle the editing.

"...hey, uh, Winry?" Edward gulped. "Are you going to drink your coffee?"

"Oh! Yeah, I almost forgot. Thanks, Edward!" she smiled.

"No–no problem. And you can call me Ed, you know. Most people do. Except for that excuse for a professor that calls me pipsqueak. Can you believe he's my advisor? I mean, come on, I'm a grown man. I'm not that short."

Winry made a poor attempt at containing her laughter. "Okay then, Ed. Prove it. Stand up."

"Fine." He slid out of the booth and stood. Winry followed suit and appraised their respective heights.

"Well, I'd hardly call you tall, but you're at least taller than me by a few inches, for whatever that's worth."

Edward grinned as if he had won some sort of prize. "Time for shorties to sit down now!"

"Watch it now. You're not too far from that label yourself, mister."

They both returned to their positions in the booth and worked steadily for the next hour. At the end of that time, Winry closed her laptop. "Ed, are you okay? You seem distracted."

"ADHD. I'm always distracted," he dismissed.

"No, like, are you sick or something? You did get more than four hours of sleep this time, right?"

"No comment." Ed's mouth twitched. He mumbled barely loud enough to hear, "Wouldn't have mattered anyway."

"Are you sure? If you're not feeling well, I can drive you over to the health center."

"N-no. That's not it." He exhaled, then slid a napkin across the table. His hands trembled slightly. "Anyway, here's my number. In case you need me to look over a paper. Or whatever. I've got a class soon."

Winry blushed, but tucked the napkin in her laptop. "Thanks, Ed. See you next week?"

"Yeah. Next week."

-----

Winry: This goes with your major, right?

Edward: Blocked

#fma #fma fanfic #503 day #when i wrote it it was probably still 503 day somewhere #edwin #edward elric #winry rockbell #fma sciezska #fma sheska #my writing #my fic #coffee shop au #college au

14 notes · View notes

stellarrmoon · 4 years

Text

Black Sand and Copy Cat

Pairing: kakashi x reader

Genre: smut; 1/???

Warnings: get some water.

Status: unedited

Background: you're a sand shinobi sent to the leaf village in order to learn some new skills. Except, you dont look like everyone else; and that catches the attention of the Copy Ninja, Kakashi Hatake.

I settled into my room nicely, being escorted by a Jonin ninja to my quarters and left to my own space. It was only 4 in the afternoon and I was feeling ready for dinner. I didn't know how I could go into the village without raising as much curiosity as much as I did in front of Lady Tsunade.

I was clearly different from the people here and some wouldn't take kindly to me purely because I was clearly foreign. But I had a solution to limit the uproar. I had only come with a backpack filled with one day's change of clothes, weapons and bandages to wrap around my face.

Lady Tsunade assured me that I wouldn't have to worry about anything during my stay and I trusted her word, seeing as how she and her ninja accepted me quite quickly. I heard a knock on my door and opened it to reveal the Jonin who brought me to my room.

"A few of us would like to invite you to dinner tonight. Since you don't know anyone, we thought it was the best way to get you to meet a few people in the village so that you're not completely lonely."

I could tell that he was still curious about my origins by the way he looked at my hair but I didn't think much of it. "Thank you, I'll be there."

"That's great!" He beamed, "I'll send one of my friends to come escort you."

I spent about an hour in my room carving the few weapons I had brought with me. About 3 knives had already been sharpened and there were only 2 left, counting the one in my hand. I was in my own peace until I was interrupted by a knock.

That must be my escort.

I shouted that "I'm coming!", and wrapped bandages around my neck and the lower half of my face so only my eyes and forehead were shown. When I opened the door, I was met with the same white haired man who startled me earlier. "Oh, it's you."

He was reading a book as he leaned against the wall across my door, not caring that I wasn't pleased to see him. "Yes, it is me. I take it you're ready to go, Ms Amabel."

I narrowed my eyes, "How do you know my full name?"

"I asked around." He said as he flipped a page in his book, "Let's go, or else they'll finish all the meat."

I closed my door and followed the man - "Kakashi" - outside of the building and onto the street. This time, he didn't bother making conversation

"So what is the reason that you are so closed off that you can't even entertain a tiny conversation with me?"

Or so I thought.

You resisted the urge to scoff, his attitude was too nonchalant for your liking. He asked like it wasn't weird for him to be so curious about a visiting resident. "Come on, Ms Amabel, don't leave my poor soul hanging."

"I can hear your smirk inside your stupid mask."

"Ooh, a fiesty one, aren't you?"

"Are we there yet?!"

He closed his book and put it into one of his vest pockets, "Patience, bunny."

"Excuse me?!"

"Kakashi!" A loud voice called before I could continue, and it was coming from the entrance of the shop we were standing in front of. The voice belonged to a man donned in a green jumpsuit and vest with a shining bowl cut and bushy brows. "You're late to the dinner which makes me the winner of the race!" He exclaimed quite excitedly.

I heard Kakashi sigh beside me, causing my lip to quirk as I thought of him being irritated by something as pretentious as this guy in front of us. Suddenly, the intense man turned to you and came incredibly close to inspect me. I was weirded out already as he invaded my personal space but when he wiped his thumb on my forehead, I screamed. He responded by screaming as well and jumped back.

"Kakashi! What is this?"

He asked as if I wasn't clearly a person. Kakashi cleared his throat, "She's the representative of the Sand village we were told about last week, Guy."

"B-b-b-but... she's..."

"I'm what?" I asked softly, looking the now fearful man in the eye, daring him to say what was in his mind.

Aside from that startling question, I had a fairly good dinner. The jonin I met were all kind, even the super weird guy with his big brows. It gave me a slight sense of home and how all my comrades would find ways to make our table the loudest whenever we ate out.

Kakashi took me back to my place and by the end of the night, my thoughts about him had changed. At first, I was just skeptical about the sneaky guy and a tad irritated by his joking demeanor, but something about him seemed so genuine that I decided to give the guy a chance. I couldn't say he was attractive, purely because I couldn't see his face at all but something about his aura intrigued me about him. Why was he a mystery?

Scolding myself for thinking about him, I shook my head and gathered my things to get ready for the day. Since it was winter, the mornings were still dark but I estimated it was around 5 o'clock. I mentally thanked myself that I had braided my hair last night because who knew what state it would be in after my sleep.

I wrapped a towel around my body and grabbed my toiletries to go to the communal bathrooms. Of course, I had to use shoes inside because I didn't know what could infect me. Unfortunately, I didn't know which way to go and I stood, confused, at the at the top of a staircase at the end of the corridor.

"Wanna know where the bathroom is?"

"Shit!" I jumped at the voice right beside my ear, turning around to face a muscular, bare chest that belonged to none other than Kakashi. I looked up to his masked face and scowled. "Stop sneaking up on me."

"Where's the fun in that, Bunny?"

"Bunny? Why do you call me Bunny?"

He chuckled as if it was obvious. I couldn't stop myself from looking at his exposed torso and internally gasping at how well-built he was. "I call you that because you're so jumpy..." he leaned down beside my ear again. This time, I sensed him take off his mask so his lips brushed against my ear as he said, "...Bunny."

I couldn't move, even when he pulled away and walked past me.

"Bunny?" I quickly turned. "Aren't you coming to wash up?"

I almost cursed at his tilted head, "Fine."

As hard as I sounded on the outside, I was actually losing my mind at what just happened. He was so close to me and with only a towel around his waist. I couldn't deny that his body was amazing, and it had been a while since I last felt the touch of a man. Who knew what this guy could do with his hands, and a small part of me wanted to find out.

Two flights of stairs later and "We're here. The bathrooms aren't separated into male and female so everyone can see everyone. But lucky for you, it's just the two of us up this early."

Lucky? What's lucky about being naked around a guy I met a day ago?

It's a hot guy you met a day ago, my subconscious said.

Kakashi entered the bathroom swiftly, choosing a showerhead right in the middle and getting to his business. I took the showerhead opposite his because it was the best way to hide my body from him; if I chose one to the sides, he could easily have peeped over. I set the water to piping hot, turning around to let it hit my back just the right way and solicit a dragged out moan from me.

"That's an interesting sound."

I opened my eyes to see Kakashi facing me and his hair was drenched, falling over the one side of his face that wasn't exposed. "Eek! You pervert!"

I hurriedly overed my body with my arms and hands, turning back around and trying not to freak out. "I'm not the one who chose the shower closest to me."

It wasn't long until I felt his presence right behind me and something poking my lower back. Holy shit. "Nice ass, Bunny."

Without another word, I heard Kakashi leave the bathroom and I let out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding. "What the hell just happened, Ama?"

It had been a weak since I had arrived at the Leaf village and I was still thinking about that moment I had with Kakashi in the bathroom. 1st of all, I didn't even know he was living in the same lodge as me, and 2nd, the man pretended as if nothing happened. He wasn't escorting me to places anymore due to how he had his own group of young ninjas to train and look after, which made me sad a little but I figured that the less we spent time together, the better.

I attended training every single day, spending a total of 12 hours learning techniques and the basics. I had a kind mentor named Anko and she was patient with me. She praised the fact that my body was in good enough shape to handle the training and questioned me about why my chakra was so strong for someone who wasn't a shinobi at my age of 19. I didn't know anything except for the fact that the woman who found me as a baby, was a witch who gave me power to survive in Japan.

She looked after me while she stayed in the Sand Village and it was only recently that she left on her "next quest", she put it. I was sad that the woman who moulded me into who I am today had to leave but I understood her reasons.

It was only midday and Anko had taken me to the forest to do target practice with my knives and shuriken. We had been going at it for a while until a ninja disturbed us, whispering to Anko about something I was obviously not supposed to hear. "Ama. I have to leave."

"What? But I haven't finished my training for today."

She sighed and started walking backwards as the other ninja ran, "I know, I'm sorry. But they've sent someone here to help you for the rest of the day!" Her voice drifted as she got farther away.

I huffed and rolled my eyes, a bit bummed that she wouldn't be here later to spar with me.

"Aww, don't pout, Bunny."

I looked up to see Kakashi hanging from a tree. "What the hell is up with you and sneaking up on me? Do you enjoy seeing me lose my breath?"

"Of course I do!" He jumped down to stand right in front of me, "I wanna try another way of making you do that, though."

My jaw dropped as soon as he said the suggestive words, "How can you be so relaxed about saying words like that?"

"I have nothing to lose, Bunny." He started going to different trees and marking them with Xes as he spoke to me.

"What about your job?"

"Why would I lose my job for giving you an extra warm welcome?" He looked at me. "It's not like you don't enjoy it."

"...Liar." I hesitated.

"Is that why your nipples were so hard in the bathroom last week?"

He had me speechless, I didn't know what to do in front of this guy. He was too good at being himself.

"Anyways, let's carry on with your training, yeah?"

"You're Anko's substitute?" I resisted the urge to laugh but I ended up letting out a chuckle at the thought of this guy teaching me. "You have to be kidding me. You can't be as good as Anko."

"No, Bunny, I'm better. Have you not heard of my reputation?" With each word he spoke, he took a step closer to me, "I'm one of the Leaf Villages best ninja. See this eye right here," He lifted his headband to reveal his left eye which was a bloody red colour and decorated by a long scar running vertically down the skin over underneath, "this eye lets me figure out my prey's moves before they can even make them. They call me the copy-ninja because I always catch my prey, and Bunny..."

He did something I wasn't expecting and placed his cold hand on my exposed midriff. "Kakashi."

"You are my most enticing prey."

I only saw pale skin for a second when Kakashi pulled his mask down, before he crashed his lips into mine and started kissing me like he was starved. My body reacted on its own as I melted into his body and let his arms support me while I let him suck on my tongue. This kiss was unlike any I had ever had; it was full of hunger and want and passion, most of it coming from him but it was a moment where I couldn't deny my strong attraction to him.

One of his hands travelled to my thigh, which he hiked up and wrapped my leg around his waist. The other quickly followed and he leaned me against a nearby tree to make things easier. Soon, his lips moved from my lips to my jaw to my neck and it wasn't until they reached the top of my cleavage that I had to stop him.

"Kakashi, wait."

He stopped. He leaned his forehead on my chest and I could feel his grip on my thighs loosening. In the next minute, Kakashi had put his mask back on and let me stand on me feet, leaving space between us for me to talk.

"I don't want to do this here."

"I can see that. Let's get to your training, shall we?"

I couldn't sleep. No matter how hard I tried. For the past 3 days, I couldn't get the image of that kiss I had with Kakashi in the forest and I was yearning for more. Fed up, with the cycle, I grabbed the nightgown I had bought a few days ago and wore it before stepping out. I knew there was a rooftop so I headed up the stairs and stepped onto the gravel before I noticed, at the rail, none other than...

"Kakashi." I breathed out.

His figure turned and as he did so, the moonlight shone on his body, making the muscles look better than ever. "Ms Amabel."

I chuckled as I walked towards him, "What, no 'Bunny' today?"

He smiled and that's when I noticed that he had his mask off. I couldn't see much because of the dark but I could tell that he was beautiful. He had a long, pointed nose that was slightly upturned and his lips were soft but plump, exactly as how I felt them against mine. He had a mole next to his bottom lip that made him look even more charming. This man was a dream. "You like it when I call you Bunny?"

Suddenly, I got shy and looked down, playing with my thumbs. "Well... yeah."

He grabbed a hold of my waist and pulled me flush against his body. Even though he was wearing long pants, I could feel his hard-on against me. "If I call you Bunny, what do you call me?"

This man seemed hellbent on fucking me. The way he spoke and the way he held me - the way he looked at me. It's like I was... his prey.

"Well?"

I looked into his differently coloured eyes and found myself getting lost in them. "Kakashi..."

He laughed boisterously, "Really? You're gonna stick with Kakashi?"

"No... I was thinking maybe, Daddy?"

He let out a groan and his grip was tighter on me, "Don't joke with me, Bunny."

"I'm not." Now I looked at him more intently. I needed us to get into a room now. "Let's go." I whispered into his chest.

Before I could say another word, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

"Kakashi!" I giggled while he snickered. He basically jumped down the stairs until we reached his room and he slammed the door shut with his foot.

I was thrown onto the bed, resting back on my forearms to admire his physique. Moonlight peaked though the window and highlighted his body. "You're staring quite a lot, aren't you?"

"Got a problem with it?"

"Not if you'll let me return the favor." He grabbed a chair and made himself comfortable, manspreading right in from me.

Usually, I was a person who liked to keep to myself but when it came to pleasing a partner - especially one who made me as aroused as Kakashi - I had no boundaries. I figured I'd tease him a little bit before I got to showing him what he wanted to see.

"Come on, Bunny, don't make me beg." His voice was soothing as he watched me let down the straps of my nightgown one by one. He followed my hands as they played with the hem and started lifting it up. The closer I got to exposing myself, the more Kakashi leaned forward, but I pulled it back down at the last moment, giggling at Kakashi's shocked face.

I knew it! "You're a perv, Mr Hatake. But that kinda makes me excited."

Finally, I pulled the dress over my head and threw it on the floor. I felt my boobs bounce as I let Kakashi drink in the sight of me. "It's gonna be hard for me to keep my hands to myself if I watch you."

"Then touch me, Daddy."

Kakashi swiftly glided to kiss me, holding my hands to the bed by my wrists as he pushed his tongue into my mouth. I was already a bit wet from feeling his dick earlier but he was making me wetter. He wasted no time getting to kiss every inch of my body, from my neck to my boobs, my tummy and legs. He paid special attention to my boobs and thighs, saying they were "fucking amazing" which only led me to yearn for him more.

The way his hands were all over my skin made me burn up and his voice as he praised my body made me all the needier. "Kakashi..."

"Yes, baby..."

His hand travelled to my mound which caused me to gasp as he cupped it.

"I'm gonna make this mine, Bunny."

A slim finger slid up my slit, collecting the sticky wetness that had already collected there. I watched as he started to play with my pussy. Kneeling in front of my open legs, Kakashi circled and pressed against my clit in such a way that had me squirming. He was taking his time with me but all I wanted was to feel him deep inside my heat.

I was only letting out soft, sweet moans; back arched and head thrown back when he started to tease the area around my opening. "Please..." I sounded like a whore.

He pushed the fingers I fantasized about in the past into me, making me tense in pleasure. In and out, he started to maneuver them, making me writhe from his touch and play with my own boobs.

"Ah... yes, Kakashi, just like that." I mewled as I felt his fingers curling inside me; they kept hitting a spot that made me go crazy, and my sounds seemed to encourage him.

"You look so beautiful right now, Amabel. My hand's covered in your juices and they're glistening in the moonlight right now, baby. That's how wet I made you, you know that?"

Kakashi himself was breathless as he watched my body shine with sweat while I kept myself from screaming at his touch. With the pace getting faster, so did the frequency of my moans. "Ah...ah! Oh my God, Kakashi, please make me cum."

Those words triggered him to grant me my wish as his mouth latched onto my clit and he got to licking and sucking. I felt it coming soon and struggled to keep my hips on the bed, Kakashi's hand on my lower belly the only thing keeping me steady. He moaned, the vibration causing me to still as I felt my stomach twist into the tightest knot.

"Kakashi, I'm cumming!!!"

I cried through my orgasm as I rode his fingers and face. I opened my eyes through it and he was watching my pussy convulse and pulse as kept pumping his fingers. "That's it, Bunny. Cum for me more."

He had a sadistic smile as he watched me lose control, finally deciding it was time for him to feel you around his length. Kakashi pulled out his fingers, before suddenly slamming his hard dick into my tightness. I silently screamed, rolling my eyes to the back of my head as he tried to burrow deeper inside me.

"Fuck, baby, it won't fit."

He took a deep breath before starting to roll his hips. They moved in waves, a continuous rhythm that had his penis entering and pulling out of my pussy in regular intervals, the squishing of my wetness very prominent in every thrust. "Ka-ka-shi..."

I purred into his ear while he buried his head in my neck, biting and kissing at my skin while one hand fondling a breast. "You feel so good, Bunny. Fuck, it's so tight."

"Mmmm Daddy, please go faster." I pulled his hair one last time before he lifted himself off my upper body and started thrusting at a greater speed. The sound of our skin slapping along with our moans and groans and cries made the room as erotic as ever.

"I'm gonna make you cum so hard, Bunny. Just look Daddy in the eye and make sure you let me know just how good I'm making your pussy feel."

Right when he placed my legs over his shoulders, I did what he said and good God, did his Sharingan eye not make me cum. "Daddyyyyyy!!! Ughhhhhhh!!!"

I screamed his name while the eye glowed and tears flowed down my face since he kept going and pounding me relentlessly as I orgasmed. I felt another one coming when he kept hitting my g-spot and tightened around his thick shaft, my walls keeping him locked in his position. I could feel him throb inside me. "You're so amazing, baby. Daddy's not even close to being done with you."

He pulled out, making me see just how big he was. He had to be at least 10 inches, with a good girth as well. I couldn't admire his appendage long enough because he flipped me over with ease and like before, rammed into my already sensitive heat. My juices were already coating my thighs and the area above his dick, I wondered how long he could go.

"Kakashi!" The man held my arms behind my back with one hand and grabbed my throat with the other. As soon as he pulled my body up, he didn't stop fucking up into me. We kissed as I felt another one coming, the lack of control I had over myself turning me on to the maximum. I felt the blood to my head stop circulating and felt my eyes closing.

"You wanna pass out taking my dick, Bunny? Hm, you wanna go to sleep knowing I own your pussy like this?" His voice was gruff, as if a monster had taken over him.

"Yes Daddy, please. Make me yours now. I'll do anything to feel it again, just use my body how you want!"

His grip on my neck tightened and again, I looked at his red eye. As if he saw what was coming next, Kakashi widened his eyes and gave one last thrust into me and we both came. His eye glowed brightly as he coated my walls with his seed and held my body as I shook from my most intense orgasm.

Surprisingly, he still felt hard inside me so he gave one last thrust that triggered something in me causing my body to let go of so much liquid it wet most of the sheets. It went on for a few moments as my strangled moan came out while my pussy spasmed again. "Fuuuuuck Kakashi!"

He kissed me deeply for a few seconds before delicately, guiding my body off his dick. I felt our combined cum spill out of me but I didn't have the energy to worry about it. Instead, I turned to look at Kakashi who had the biggest smile on his face as he looked at me.

"Where are we gonna sleep?" I inquired.

#hatake #kakashi #kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake #copy ninja #kakashi smut #lemon #naruto #naruto shippuden #shinobi #sand shinobi #leaf village #tsunade

74 notes · View notes

the-dreamy-poet · 3 years

Text

To Cry or Not to Cry

A girl looks at the words on the page. It's too much to fathom all at once. What is a girl to do? She hears the words spoken out of the mouth of the person who is supposed to be the most supportive of her hopes and dreams. She can't talk to them because they will never understand. What is a girl to do? She feels the emotions she feel way too often. What is a girl to do?

Will she lay down and cry? She has already done that more times than she can count. There was even a "crying porch" where her family used to live just for her. Now she has cried so much she is sure all of the water in her body has secreted. She doesn't know what to do. Her instinct whenever something feels too overwhelming is to cry. She is now entering the world of adulthood. There is no room for crying in that world.

She confides in her friends about her struggles. She has known them for years before she opens up to them. She doesn't cry in front of people except when she felt so overwhelmed they needed to come out. She has come extremely close to sobbing, but it has never happened. Her best friend has told her to stop talking about her life because it's too much for him to bear. She would not be where she is now if it wasn't for those same friends. She tells them this any chance she gets. She knows she would be in a much darker place without them.

The question is now: Does she cry or try to hold it all in like she did for years?

This is one of the more personal poems I have put on here. As you all know, there are some days, months, maybe years where you don't want to do the thing you've been doing for that extended amount of time.

It's been a rough 2021 so far. I don't know what to do. If any of you have any advice or just want to offer encouraging words. Feel free to reply to this post, send me an ask, or pm me. All of those are valid ways to reach me on Tumblr.

I just wanted to let people know who know where the emotions I felt in the poem: I know what you're going through and we will get through this together! I'm trying to not be so sensitive because that never ends well (nothing too bad don't worry. I just get overstimulated and anxiety attacks happen). I don't get sent to the porch because we're in a different area of the country. I head outside or to the basement to calm myself down. This is just the second time I feel so helpless.

#struggling #I'm in a really weird place right now guys #parental problems #parental trauma #sharing this with you all is really hard #healing #self love #self care #mental health

3 notes · View notes

argueably-pretty-rad · 5 years

Text

My Opinion: Feminism

Now, before anyone takes a good hard look at this post, know that I am a girl. I am not speaking about people I don't understand. If you take offense to this, that's perfectly fine; block me and leave my page forever, I really don't care. I'm just voicing my thoughts in a nonviolent way, and don't need any negative feedback. With that said, read if you'd like.

I got the idea to make this post when I watched a YouTube video a little while ago. Many have probably seen it as it came out back in 2016. I'd watched the video before, but seeing it again made me so mad that I just had to talk about it. It's called "36 Stupid Feminist Questions Answered," and it's by the user Dr Shaym. If you haven't seen it already, I suggest you do so now.

Now, I already hate BuzzFeed with a burning passion, but this is their worst video yet. They really give feminists such a bad name. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a feminist. In fact, I used to hate feminists, mainly because people like the women in the video are the ones who get talked about the most. Now they are truly feminists. They seem to want nothing more than to be above men. They generalize constantly, looking at a few bad people that happen to have dicks, and decide that everybody that ever had a dick except maybe their dad or a gay best friend is a shitface. All men are assholes, men think they're so much better than us, my boyfriend doesn't understand me, blah blah blah.

No, I consider myself to be a gender equalist. Anybody can do anything, whether that's good or bad. A girl can beat the shit out of a guy and force him to have sex with her, just the same as a guy can be understanding of women and love rom-coms. You've gotta understand that, while it may not be as likely, things go both ways.

Let me bring up a scenario that shows how many holes and contradictions are in those feminists' questions in the video. A few of the sexist questions these women brought up were along the lines of:

Why do men feel like they can't show their emotions?

Why do you feel the need to prove your masculinity to women?

Why are women seen as the weaker sex?

Why is it your first instinct to doubt women who claim to have been raped?

Now, before I build this scenario, let me bring up a great point that Dr Shaym brought up:

"Men are socially conditioned from the day we learn to talk to not express our feelings. We are brought up constantly being told to man up and that boys don't cry. We don't have the privilege of showing our emotions because if we do, it is seen as a sign of weakness. To put it simply, us men are programmed to believe our own feelings are invalid, and so we hide them and we lie about them. We are raised to expect that if we tell you our feelings, you will shoot them down. You will tell us we're wrong for feeling the way we do, and even if you don't, we still don't want to tell you our feelings because we fear you will use them against us."

Now imagine this: You, as a boy, are forced to do something sexual with a girl you don't want to be with. You cry about it, as anyone would, alone and afraid. When you try to tell someone, perhaps your best friend, you're laughed at. "Dude, how did you let a girl pin you down? How weak can you be?" You, believing you should conform with your friends like every other person, decide to "man up" and swallow all of your feelings. The girl, seeing that she hasn't suffered any repercussions, goes after you again. You, being scared and frustrated, attempt to push her off. When she doesn't relent, you have no choice but to use self defense. She's angry and has a bruise on her face, and now has very good evidence that you have raped her and hit her in the process. She accuses you as such, and you are sent to prison. Your friends and family are disgusted, no one believes you, you have charges for things you never did. Your rapist roams free, likely doing the same to other men. You cry, as anyone would when their life is ruined.

Now tell me what you've learned from this scenario, because we all know for a fact that the women in that video would've supported the rapist without question. No one questioned that this girl might've done wrong. There was evidence, but no one tried to rearrange the story to fit it properly. This scenario, or something very similar to it, has likely happened already. If it hasn't, then it surely will soon.

The next order of business is one of the most popular things I've heard come out of a feminist's mouth, and every time I hear it I absolutely want to strangle whoever said it: WhY Do MEn tHinK ThEy'RE tHe StRoNGeR GeNDeR?

Because lady, whether you like it or not, men scientifically are proven to be stronger than women. Please take a good hard look at these statistics and educate yourself.

In case you didn't have common sense like the feminists in the video, muscle is what gives you strength. There are obviously exceptions, but ON AVERAGE, men are stronger than women, and that goes for every section on that table.

Onto the very much talked about wages gap. As mentioned in the video, it's not as though the gap doesn't exist. The thing is though, it's technically woman's fault it exists. Allow me the bring up another very valid quote from Dr Shaym:

"The observed wage Gap is based on comparing the average income of men to the average income of women without considering any variables. Sometimes when the wage Gap is brought up they add in that women get paid less for the same jobs, but that's horseshit. Asking why women get paid less than men is like asking why why men are more likely to die in the workplace than women: it's because men and women tend to work different jobs, and just like some jobs are more dangerous than others, some jobs pay more than others, and since men tend to work higher-paying jobs, such as those in STEM fields, men tend to make more money. And even when you are comparing men and women working the same jobs, there are things which factor into why men get paid more such as the fact that men are more likely to work overtime, are more likely to ask for raises or promotions, are less likely to take time off, are more competitive, are more likely to take risks, prioritize earnings more than women, retire at a later age, and all these other things which studies have found."

Dr Shaym goes on to make more reasonable points as to why the wage gap exists, but this excerpt from the video is more than enough to prove that this point that many feminists bring up is unreasonable and uneducated.

Final thoughts: I'm all for equal rights and such, but the way feminists antagonize men is not okay, and I wanted to voice that. I know this is a pretty controversial rant for a first post, but I just wrote what came to me.

Anyway, I'm pretty positive you can gauge my views on feminism by now, and I think I've done well enough for the post. I highly recommend watching Dr Shaym's video, and thank you for reading if you've gotten this far. I mean no harm in this post, and only wish to state an opinion.

#feminists #feminist #my opinion #unpopular thoughts #unpopular opinion #please don't hate me #mini rant #rant post #long reads #buzzfeedvideo #feminism #antifemenist #anti feminism #anti feminst #anti feminist women #equality #equal opportunity #equal rights #my thoughts

31 notes · View notes

everythingandeveryplace · 5 years

Text

I got these gifs off of We Heart It, please let me know if they belong to you!

Finding Family Part 2

•Daryl Dixon x OFC•

Everyone had been set up in guest rooms for their overnight stay at Georgetown and after an incredibly tense meeting the future of trade between Alexandria and the prospering community still remained undecided.

"They're gonna say no. Not a chance in hell we're getting even a taste of this shit." Abraham sighed, his head resting against the LaZ boy recliner in Ricks room for the night.

"We don't know that." Michonne argued.

"Sure we do, y'all saw the way they looked at the girl. I hurt their people bad, no way any of us are gonna be welcomed here after today." Merle chuckled dryly, he was trying to hide the guilt and disappointment he felt in himself and had Daryl not known him his entire life he might have mistaken it for carelessness.

"We should have left him at home. What good ever comes from bringing Merle Dixon anywhere?" Glenn grumbled and Maggie pat his thigh comfortingly.

"Michonnes right, We don't know yet. these people are very reasonable, I've spoken to them, they know me and besides Lily would never leave us out to dry. She isn't like that." Rick nodded firmly.

"That was before we turned our backs on her and let Merle stay after everything that happened. We betrayed that girl, if I was her I wouldn't give us a damn thing." Carol was perched on the edge of the bed, her eyes sad and slightly angry as she regarded Merle. The older woman's gaze wandered over to Daryl for just a split second and the underlying disappointment in the clear blue made his stomach hurt, he stood up and grabbed his crossbow from the floor.

"Goin for a walk." He grumbled, Merle stood to follow but Daryl was quick to turn to him and shake his head "alone." He bit out.

The halls of the community center at Georgetown we're huge, over 20 rooms on each floor. Charlie had explained that the community center was where most of the residents who didn't have family lived, they were single rooms and it provided a sense of family in one large building for the residents who preferred not to be alone in their own home. It also was the same building as the mess hall, and that's exactly where he heard the familiar voice he had missed and replayed over and over on his head for two full years.

"Thanks Nellie, you're our new best friend forever. We will remember this moment for when grey carries on my iconic legacy. you will have a special page in my autobiography." Lili backed out of the kitchen, the beautiful baby boy wrapped up in her arms and a pint of vanilla ice cream in his.

"It's just because I love you both." A grey haired woman in an apron shooed them out of the kitchen and winked, blowing a kiss at the curly haired little boy waving back at her.

"And we love you." Lili turned back towards the cafeteria and the smile she had been wearing slipped from her features when her eyes met Daryl's.

God it hurt.

Swallowing thickly he willed his feet to march over to the two, awkwardly rubbing his neck when he was close enough.

"I was just checking the place out. S'nice." He mumbled, eyes involuntarily falling on the little boy with the the sandy blonde curls staring up at him.

"Yeah. We have a really great system going here. Good people too." Greyson wiggled in her arms and Lili looked down "words." She smiled softly, urging him to speak gently.

"Down." He whispered "pease." His smile was wide and goofy and so damn adorable it almost physically hurt Daryl.

Lili beamed with pride

"You got it love." She gently placed him on the floor and peeled the top of the container off, sticking a metal spoon in the sweet vanilla ice cream and ruffling his hair.

Daryl watched in wonder as Greyson lifted himself onto a cafeteria bench and began taking tiny but determined bites of the sugary dessert.

"He's a smart kid. Little to be doin' all that aint' he?"

Daryl turned his attention back to Lili who was smiling in complete adoration at the boy with the matching eyes.

"Grey is very advanced, we have a former pediatrician who works in our infirmary and she says she's never seen someone his age grasp language skills quite as fast as Greyson." She finally pulled her eyes away from her son and looked at Daryl, he could practically see the pride in her smile.

"Gets it from you. Ya always we're good at talkin'"

For a moment when her blue eyes sparkle and her nose scrunches up, Daryl's taken back to five years ago stranded in that damn lake with an arrow through his side and a pretty blonde woman dragging him through the mud and asking "where in the holy hot hell" did he come from.

"That's about all he gets from me except the hair, I carried him around for nine months only for him to come out a splitting image of his father." She laughed quietly.

"Got my nose.. and my mamas eyes." Daryl whispered as they both stared at Greyson.

"And your lips. Not to mention he catches the Georgia sun like you wouldn't believe, five minutes outside and he's golden brown, just like you." She smiled.

"Got your hankerin' for the sweets though." Daryl offered chuckling when Greyson sent a spoonful of vanilla halfway across the room.

"And your tendency to leave a mess." Lili raised a brow and pulled a rag from her pocket, wiping the melted ice cream off of her sons cheeks.

"Beautiful though. Real beautiful." He whispered, his palms itched to touch his son, to see if he was real, if this was something that he had helped to create. There was no way any Dixon could ever make something so beautiful and perfect.

"Still carrying' around that crossbow huh?" Lili nodded towards his practically third arm.

"Sure am. Never gettin' rid of her." He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked.

"Don't I know it." The beautiful blonde smiled fondly at the weapon that had saved her life more times than she could count "I'm still sticking to my knives, although I don't get out much to use em. I stay inside the walls mainly, take care of the sick and injured."

"Sounds nice, ya were meant for that. Made to help people." Daryl clarified, tracing her features with his eyes, memorizing every new scar and freckle, every laugh line, the last time he had seen her she had been bruised and swollen beyond recognition. The image of Dwight carrying her near lifeless body out of the saviors compound was forever burned in his mind.

"Sometimes I miss it out there, the adrenaline, the chase." Lili sighed before shaking her head and smiling at her son "but I can't take risks like that anymore, not unless I have too. Grey needs his mom. last week I went on a run because we needed specific medications and I left him with Dwight for two days, I came back covered in walker blood and Greyson just threw himself at me. I had to give him two baths just to get all that funk out of his hair." She giggled, scrunching her nose at the memory.

"He's a good boy." Daryl caught her sea green eyes and stared longingly at the woman he loved more than anything in this world.

"The best." She nodded, a sadness filtering across her face.

"Miss you every damn day." Daryl whispered, the words heart breakingly honest.

"You made a choice." Lili whispered back, wrapping her arms around her body tight, shielding herself from the one person who could ever truly hurt her.

"It was the wrong choice, I know that now," his voice broke, shadowed eyes dark and lost.

"It's too late now. You can't take it back.. you made your choice, you chose him."

"He's my brother." Daryl begged, he needed her to understand, no matter how impossible it was and how wrong it was he wanted her to understand.

"He's a monster." Lilis eyes filled with tears that she desperately tried to blink back "the things he did to me.. I can't.. when he was strangling me.. breaking my ribs all I could think about was getting back to you. I thought I was going to die and I didn't want to do that to you, I wanted to live for you. And then I came back to you, I fought for you only for you to allow that man back in our home, to sleep on the same floor as I did, to eat where I ate."

If it was possible Daryl could feel his heart cracking in his chest, the pain almost unbearable.

"I loved you with everything I had and I fought for you, I would have done anything for you and you gave up on me. You traded me in for your brother." She whispered, her voice far away.

"He's my family Lili." It sounded pathetic even to his own ears.

"And he's mine." Lili raised her voice, throwing her hand out to the little boy who was now curiously listening to the conversation and smiling up at the two adults as they turned to look at him.

"He's mine too." Daryl tried.

The woman before him narrowed her eyes and shook her head

"No.. no he isn't. You gave that claim up the second you let me walk out the doors of Alexandria. You made a decision, I told you when I left that there was no coming back from it and I meant that. Merle is your family. Greyson is mine."

"Lil please, I have too..."

"You're all going to be able to trade here, I told Charlie that you were all good people, that the past was the past and it had nothing to do with helping your people. You'll get what you need and then you can go, I don't want you bringing that man back to my home. By the time I put Greyson to sleep tomorrow I want to forget you both were ever here." With that Lili picked up Greyson and walked straight out of the mess hall doors leaving a broken hearted Daryl Dixon staring after the love of his life and their son.

It couldn't end like this.

He wouldn't let it.

#daryl dixon #the walking dead #twd #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon x oc #daryl dixon one shot #daryl dixon x oc fanfiction #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon x ofc #the walking dead edit #the walking dead spoilers #the walking dead fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfic

46 notes · View notes