#or somethings just wrong w me today

[limonjarritos]

The wine bottle and symbolism

this is personally my take on the symbolism of the wine bottle/bottle opener as based on a post by galaxitic

The wine as a symbol for obsession for a loss of control. For how Vincent feels about his fixation with Rody. Of even in a way a symbol for Rody himself.

The wine opener being Vince's semblance of control over that obsession. That he believes he has control on his feelings about Rody. But when he goes to open that bottle its not in a semblance of control but that of panic, that of impulse but he still tells himself that it's something, not realizing that with a sip of the wine he's consumed back. His rational is consumed. Just like how this whole time Rody has made him drunk with impulse.

How the wine is admittedly what does him in.

Vince breaks the bottle, breaks 'Rody' through a lack of control. He uses the bottle opener to try and open the real thing, drunk and searching for more, willing to truly give into his impulses and be intoxicated.

Vince has for the most part up until this point been bottling up his feelings, playing the part of mild mannered and in control (though his control isn't perfect. The rat, the watching through the peep hole-)

Rody taking that broken bottle in hand, takes said obsession and kills Vincent with it. Because a broken bottle is going to hurt you. Because Rody is so broken right now, shattered, reeling from the revelation that Manon has been killed. The love bleeding from his body and a hot demand for revenge coming to him that results in the burning of Vince.

#dead plate #limon.txt #i dont like to tag people unless i know them and they're okay w/ it #i wrote this like when i woke up 12 hours ago and like- i hope it makes sense. today just has not been the day for my language skills. #syntax who? #anyways. there's way more to it than this i wasnt able to fully explain without running in circles #but like- something about bottling feelings up too. about how that bottle has to break anyways and intoxicate you w/ the emotions #<- why didnt i say this from the start would have saved me a paragraph #and how the bottle is rody too. how rody's care is intoxicating. how vincent lead to the breaking of rody #how rody's care left his body when he was broken and drunken up like the bottle #also another side point #do you think rody would have killed vince if manon had not been killed? #do you think rody cares that much about revenge for wrongs done to himself vs those done to those he cares for #he has basic self preservation ill give him that #but i doubt he would have contemplated that revenge portion at the end

[magdaclaire]

some men just need to be called princess

#dean winchester. tangerine bullet train. jamie tartt. #just off the top of my head. so many more. guys who you could genuinely call baby girl #mer rambles #something wrong w me today i am all over the place

[yangjeongin]

hi i'm still alive i've just been too lazy to log in it's soooo much work

#carly.txt #i have some sets i started that i haven't even put in drafts yet i just made gifs without logging in askjldfjkldg #so we'll see if i ever finish those #going to get a ct scan to see if i have a tumor on my adrenal gland today. very exciting #part of why i haven't logged in is bc i've just been so low energy and the executive dysfunction go crazy so #i finish work every day and then legitimately juts don't do anything #hopefully there's something wrong w me that they can fix easily alkdkflsakdlg

[piplupod]

it just seems cruel and sick to me that I tell someone "i think this little life has inherent value and I'd like to extend a little kindness to it when I am able to" and they laugh at me as if I'm being foolish and tell me I must squash it with my shoe :/

#to hear somebody earnestly tell you that and not even stop to consider you might be wrong. it is baffling #absolutely foreign to me. if somebody were to insist upon something so earnestly i think i'd at least stop and think for a moment #especially if it were about just... being kind to someone or something. it feels very strange that you wouldn't even pause #god im such a fucking sap. idk. this is all probably just ramblings of some naive sheltered little freak w stars in their eyes sdfjkl #''oh the world should be kinder to pests'' i sound ridiculous dsgjkl i am being laughed at by another part in the brain #i KNOWWW this is unrealistic and overly sentimental. i just feel awful any time i have to kill a spider idk #i dont think it should be all that ridiculous. but im probably getting too worked up about it fdsjkl #curse this overly compassionate freak brain of mine #anyways. sorry. i'll be normal now fsjkl. this was just weird and upsetting today #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[perigelion]

😭😭 feeling so fucking awful for the second day in a row now WHEN will this end...

#ive been nauseous and my head is spinning and i cant keep any food in my stomach #drank a cup of tea today and havent thrown up yet so thats... something #and i am in this reality for now... woke up being like who & when & where am i for a solid hour #trying to beat all the really bad thoughts away from my head but urgh #im also like... cold #even tho im wearing a sweater and it should Not be cold here ive been just feeling like that p consistently #i do Not want to google wtf is wrong with me bc that will freak me out even further but also... the fuck is wrong with me #is mixing alcohol w antidepressants really that fucking bad. #been fine on different meds before #this is just fucking awful im never drinking again #shouldve stayed home at least i could cry there lmao

[fiapple]

repeat after me: if you are the descendent of colonizers living on stolen land, you do not get to judge the methods of decolonial resistance movements.

#this isn’t in relation to the last reblog itself it just reminded me of something #thoughts #sarahofmagdelene has some good shorts about this on insta though #like specifically abt how it relates to white feminism + patriarchal notions of (white) womanhood #the skinny of it being that white women tend to impose the standards of white womenhood laid out by white patriarchy onto those who they ar #*womanhood #(​sorry all over the place today) #complicit in the oppression of with the added specifically racialized view of violent resistance through the lens of various savage tropes #have to get a copy of her book after the strike tbh #but yeah i think a lot about this in congruence with how authoritarianism is such a deeply engrained aspect of whiteness & how that itself #contributes to the attitudes being discussed here being so prevalent even among my fellow white people who consider themselves leftist or #progressive (& how that relates to how many white people are liberals/neoliberals posing as being farther left than they are) #but if we were to relate this specifically to the last reblog i would like to point out that another part of that is the whiteness frames #good & bad as an immutable either/or binary & the way super fucked up notions of purity play into whiteness #which (not an excuse absolutely not acting like this is still 100000% white supremacist at its core) is what leads my fellow white people t #be so fearful of having current or past wrong doings pointed out as such & why so many are more concerned with being seen as racist than w #the actual racism they perpetuate/garner privilege from #because that means being horrible with no chance of change (thoug oppressed ppl do 100% hold the right to view their oppressors as such #the white guilt this often leads to when self imposed is what leads to attitudes like the article from the last post describes) #(& so the difference of perspective in the oppressed feeling that way & the oppressor using it to self flagellate is v important here) #& all of this is ultimately rooted in the carcerality inherent to whiteness as a social construct #both in terms of the far worse tangible violence imposed upon poc (particularly black people & fn ppl here in canada) & the carceral view o #morality white “culture” imposes upon those white people who are unwilling to fully do the work to divest from whiteness #hope this is coherent #also if any of this is out of line plz lmk #but basically to cut to the chase power (& as a result empowerment of the oppressed) viewed through the lens whiteness has set for it will #always be fucked up & lead to completely racist conclusions about liberation movements for poc #& the reason i mention this in relation to decolonial movements specifically is due to whiteness being an inherently colonial construct it’ #*itself #racism

[pepprs]

hi i haven’t been on here for a bit bc things are crazy but… i got my learners permit today 🤓

#purrs #well yesterday technically bc it’s after midnight now. but i did it!!! i passed and only missed one question. and ive been awake since 5 and #im so tired and i was SO scared studying and taking the test but it was worth it. and now i get to start driving :D #im kinda annoyed bc the question i missed technically had 2 correct answers and it was just like question logic ghat was the reason i got it #wrong not anything abt me not knowing smth… it was like ‘what is an example of something you could do to prevent aggressive driving’ or w/e #and one option was like always intend to use ur turn signals and another one was like don’t compete w other drivers. and i thought well the #turn signal one is a concrete action whereas the competition one is like.. what does that even mean bc it could be a lot of things. so i #picked the turn signal one but i was wrong :( oh well #anyways tomorrow i might get behind da wheel for the first time sooooo 😳 guess i actually can make progress in my life… lole! #also one year ago today (technically yesterday) i graduated….. 😳

[arionawrites]

1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

#aritalks #i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use #not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before #and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk #but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day! #the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow #also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years #(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years #and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk) #was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!! #i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight #so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday #my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work #my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all #over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins) #but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered #(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting #when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so #just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my #mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19) #so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her #and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too #i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure #out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still #dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not #the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one #if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it #but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help #and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks #just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️

[sucrose-soymilk]

hadn’t really regressed in a While and i didn’t realize how much i missed/dareisay needed it until i had the free time and ability to do so over the last few days and i have to say. i’m feeling a bit better

#imagine that! the coping mechanism… helps!!! wow #Seven’s Small Thoughts #not tagging this as anything else bc this blog is really just a not-so-secret public diary #and im not really trying to gain any sort of following or participate in the community very much #i just wanna talk to the void abt regression every once in a blue moon y’know #i also feel like i don’t really belong in the community much/am not a Good Example of sfw agere since i’m very n/ s/ f/ w everywhere else #which is a double standard that i don’t hold others to but i feel like others will hold it against me??? and i’m just shy anyways #and not looking to interact. just wanna keep all this stuff tucked away in a side-blog #i also feel like a lot of the community likes to blog while actively regressed and i don’t wanna step in there as someone who isn’t #nothing wrong with it! at all! i just don’t have the capacity to since i go nonverbal when i regress. no thoughts head blissfully empty #anyways this wasn’t supposed to be a vent post let’s change the topic! #anywhooo what else did i come on here to say. oh yeah #i lowkey forgot how much regressing has helped me in the past until i was able to really indulge myself in it again recently #it’s so nice to just be small and hand someone else the reins and forget abt everything other than doing something you enjoy #maybe one day i’ll be at a point in my life where i can fully regress more freely and more often but for now i’ll take what i can get #i’m also excited because i’ve been thinking abt ordering a paci from this one specific seller #and yesterday saw that they’re dropping a new batch of fall/halloween themed ones today!!! #so now i’ve gotta make myself stay awake until 6pm so i can jump on it when they’re available #which is a small struggle considering my nocturnal sleep schedule but i will do it nonetheless #that crescent moon patterned one Will Be Mine #trying to decide between buttercup yellow and schoolbus yellow for the clip #i think i’m more drawn to the vibrancy of the schoolbus yellow honestly #eeeeeee i’m excited i’ve been wanting to treat myself to ordering from this shop for a g e s and im finally gonna do it

[lunapwrites]

so on the one hand this banana bread i made turned out really good. on the other, i'm having a wee little anxiety today and i have to go play d&d through it.

pray for me.

#having one of those moments #where like #idk if i'm making others uncomfortable #bc i did something wrong w/o realizing #or if i didn't do anything wrong but we're just not vibing #and i'm not getting the message #just no one has any interest in the things i have to say #or any interest in speaking to me #in which case i'm making myself uncomfortable #but clearly the solution to this #is to keep being uncomfortable #until someone says something to me #this is partly sarcasm #i just have never met a social situation i couldn't mess up lol #i just don't know if i'm trying too hard to keep contact #when it's already hard #and people would rather i wouldn't. #this doesn't need a response i'm just having a day today #and i'm going to be with people today that i know like me #here's hoping i can channel these feels constructively. #and remember how to do the appalachian accent i was using #just. things that make me want to delete all my socials lol #also if you also have anxiety and are concerned this is about you #please ask me lol. i will tell you truthfully. #lp talks #lp bitches

[clemencetaught]

taiquinn ( @uroborosymphony & @velvetineblue ) are lucky that they are bullying him b4 he reunites with hyuk ( @jeoseungsaja ) bc once hyurick is back together- this will be happening:

myungdae: *sulks, buries head in crook of hyuk's neck and points at taiquinn* they're being mean, make them go away 😞

#orange comic sans font ( crack. ) #the knight ( dash commentary. ) #this is from plotting w/ alex but.....myungdae has coping mechanisms #and once he reunites with hyuk #his main one becomes hiding in the crook of hyuk's neck whenever something unpleasant happens.... #so if they're being mean....myungdae vc: *sics angry pigeon on them* #that should get them to leave him alone :'D #if u think he's noble like the black knight.....u assumed wrong :'D #he's just as petty JFKLSDJFLSKJF #but also alex!! i hope it's okay if i included hyuk here and some of the deets from our plotting....myungdae felt like he was being unfairl #ganged on and wanted comfort pats :'D #of course i can always remove him from this too <3 #not me...also gobbing up all of lynnie's writing from today #i AM RICH 2DAY THANK YOU LYNNIE 4 FEEDING MY BRAIN ( and winter for contributing to the chaos too <3 )

[kingcobrajfs]

ever notice the "just a single man and his dog(s). it's all he needs" thing being seen as humble and wholesome, and when a guy is obsessed with cats it's seen as soo cute and wow he must be a gentle guy. then you see a single woman who has like 2 cats she loves a lot and that's just "unattractive lonely cat lady. quirky 🙄" like wtf lol

#when a man chooses to live alone and not have a gf and just chill w his dogs its seen as some mgtow based chad shit #but when a woman is content living alone with pets its seen as her wasting her youth or that shes doing it not out of choice but #bc she Cant get a man bc shes any number of unlikable traits #it's infuriating. neither person is wrong for just wanting to chill... but only one of them will get criticized for it lol #and dont even get me started on how Pet Guys are allowed to treat their pets like kids and openly state so #but when a woman does its because shes annoying or delusional and just wants real kids or something #blah blah blah im chattery today i apologize

[lezbianz]

oh i Have to quit this fucking job

#my post #my boss was so fucking rude to me today like taunting me in front of people #& everyone was like 😐 [boss name] don’t take it that serious we’re literally at [job] #so my coworkers knew he was being fucking weird #but i’m so pissed rn #the thing is i can deal w someone telling me i’m doing something wrong or telling me how to do something #i get if someone’s rude to me bc they’re stressed #& i’m fine w both #but this man was straight up fucking taunting me going ‘anything you’d like to say before you leave? any words of wisdom you want to share? #‘ #like fuck off dude this is a part time job i’m 19 and you’re literally 64 #idk i just don’t appreciate being taunted

[6-2-aestheticsofhate]

Something funny is that as a native person who grew up on the rez is that almost my entire lineage has been native and from the rez. Every single person who wasn't was an outlier who came to the rez and married in. I don't really consider myself as apart of their cultures because it was so long ago and i'm technically full status because of how long ago those happened.

But this does lead to funny situations like me going is this weird? I don't feel overly connected to this culture because of how far away in my lineage that family member was and I've never known them/learned about their culture. While doing something as simple as eating spitzbuben

#also i tried spitzbuben for the first time today #like theres nothing wrong w eating something from a culture thats not urs #its just my brain is fucking stupid and goes haha look at this idiot buying german food despite only being like. 1/12 german or whatever #literally no other cultures food makes me feel like this #just german stuff ajdkflvlh #personal #also 1/12th is just an estimate i dont actually remember how far back the german relative was

[strwbrymlkshake]

Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(

#mine #oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times #but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry #like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie #im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc #i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me #thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related #anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that #ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired #// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always #because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life #like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing #me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little #so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die #every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt. #well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he #is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him #every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again #but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh #i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT #I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time #like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me #he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do #he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away

[evilyurifan]

how do i start setting firm boundaries with this kid in my club who keeps making unfunny jokes and taking over the whole meeting and pissing me the fuck off without like dragging down the vibes of the entire thing. because i did not manage it tonight, i got genuinely hostile and killed the vibes👍

#he is in the wrong here like fucking. if theres four people in ur club meeting for the week #and you say ‘hey put on this clip of this brutal saw trap’ #and one of the other people (1/4 of the group!) says ‘i do not want to see that’ #i think u r an asshole for insisting on watching it! and making me have to awkwardly sit in the hall cause just hearing the audio made me #feel nauseous! #lime.txt #sigh. he also just like. he doesnt mesh with the group he’s a first year but he acts like a middle schooler #i get being a fucking 18 year old guy and joining a niche media club and like not understanding feminism #but when other people make pretty clear that they are uncomfortable with something you are doing. quit fucking doing it #and i swear to god he keeps making us watch nu metal music videos #like today he did it TWICE every fucking time we start talking about something else #like me and this other guy started talking about gundam and he was explaining in depth why he was disappointed w the turn the 2nd season #of iron blooded orphans took and i was like omg interesting and he was like was gwitch good and then i was like yeah its an homage to rgu #and literally mid conversation this other kid puts a fucking linkin park music video on the tv and makes us all watch it. like fuck offfffff #sorry im genuinely too mad to do my work rn i need to destress im gonna have some cereal