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shootingstarrfish · 25 days

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request: simeon ending a phone call with "Amen" bc itd be so so silly

#i... just realised ive had this sitting in my inbox for like a month FHJKFH im so sorry i hope i did your idea justice #promise i havent forgotten any requests im just letting em cook in my brain insert muscle emoji #ask box #obey me #obey me sheep mc #simeon #obey me simeon #obey me art

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marmotish · 2 months

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love potion barnaby is normal barnaby but intensified 200%

((you’re right and you should say it))

hey barnaby - don’t say shit like that

people can hear you

#hogwarts mystery #hphm mc #freyja young #barnaby lee #ask #anonymous #i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again - barnaby’s biggest muscle is actually his heart

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rabbitprincessthief · 1 year

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gog i still can't get over minish cap vaati's Everything. He is So Fucking Stupid (affectionate)

Like. This guy's establishing character moment is, in order:

he's introduced as having won an entire tournament to get to touch a magic chest and get a cool sword, which was the prize for said tournament

turns around and does a goddamn evil soliloquy TEN FEET AWAY FROM THE GUARDS who were about to hand him his macguffin on a platter

(like this man fucks up his own horribly planned daylight heist because he cannot keep a lid on the dramatics for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, IN PUBLIC)

(THE BAR WAS ON THE FLOOR VAATI, FUCKING GANONDORF PLAYS THE PIPE ORGAN FOR HIS OWN BOSS INTRO AND HE STILL KNOWS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT)

proceeds to fight the guards (it is, admittedly, a curbstomp for him, but it still clearly wasn't his plan, because otherwise why bother with the tournament)

gloats evilly

opens chest, unleashing a whole bunch of monsters

exposits out loud about Zelda's powers like a nerd while she is actively charging up her magic powers to kick his ass

RECOGNIZES and IDENTIFIES said magic as the special power carried by the female royal line

completely fails to recognize it as the light force he is currently trying to get his hands on (he spends like 99% of the game not figuring this out.)

petrifies her

(i have no idea if link could have deflected this spell if he had managed to get the right angle with his shield but i like to think somewhere there is a very short and very funny alternate timeline where it happens)

(more importantly: no part of vaati's original presumed plan would have involved doing this. he 100% created this situation for himself by being an dramatic idiot and picking a fight for no good reason.)

looks in the chest

there's no light force

considering his stated goals he might be as confused as you are about the monsters tbh

uhhh

evil laugh

teleports the fuck out

He then proceeds to spend the rest of the game trying to figure out where the light force is and ends up having to wait for Ezlo and Link to figure it out first because he was, as far as I can tell, GENUINELY stuck on this part. He fucking kidnaps and impersonates the King, not for access to Zelda, but to… send guards to go look for the Light Force, presumably because he was either running out of ideas or genuinely thought that would work.

None of the guards even had any idea what he was talking about. He's not even good at impersonating the King. He's already sent like twenty people to the dungeon by the time you get there and it hasn't even been a week. Somehow the game spins this as a cunning plan and clever manipulation or something.

(Meanwhile the guards are just. Poking around in random bushes and shit hoping to find the light force. One of them asks you what you think it might look like.)

Zelda is literally right next to the throne and Vaati does not figure it out until you find an actual honest-to-goodness LORE TABLET spelling out that the Light Force is Stored in the Zelda, at which point he's like "ahahaha you've done my work for me this was definitely my plan all along" and takes over the castle and throws a bunch of monsters at you to stall for time while he figures out how to extract the force from her. Somehow he still doesn't think to actually lock the fucking door.

#vaati #minish cap #loz #mc #he's my stupid little squeak squeak and i love him #meta #op #sorry this got long but i have So Many Words about this little bastard #i think he's a really fun foil to ganondorf tbh -#ganondorf looks like a brute force guy but in practice tends largely toward manipulating and long cons and cunning #the appearance of dumb muscle but is actually refined and clever and skilled while also still being built like a brick wall #vaati looks like a classic scheming squishy wizard guy but actually is just cheating and does almost all his nonsense very directly #and his plans tend to be either Do X / ??? / Profit stuff or barely exist at all #to the point where og four swords is gated primarily by your ability to convince great fairies to help you rather than vaati stopping you #ganondorf is a guy given power who wants a magic wish granting artefact #vaati is a guy given a magic wish-granting artefact who decides he wants more power now actually #vaati has had a significant minion approximately once (shadow link) and that was in shared custody with ganon

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allaboutsize32 · 7 months

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Fuckin size of that. Absolute weapon.

#jonny mckenna #jonny mc #bodybuilder #muscle #quads #legs #chest #beast #posing

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mahariel-theirin · 21 days

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Now that botb is a summer show…

Mandatory beach episode

#infamous if #orion quinn #mc aoi muse #gonna try to draw the band as well. and seven staring at mc through his sunglasses #maha art #had to tone down Orion’s muscles a bit 😭

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menacarychamber · 2 months

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"Sanford, Sanford, i need you to buy me Burger Gil's Sanford. Do not forget the drink like last time Sanford. DO NOT FORGET THE DRINK SANFORD."

- Doc probably at some point

Me too I'd do anything for bbg Doc

#is Doc outside or something #madness combat #Doc be video calling so he can appreciate Sanford's muscles i called it #he do be driving #do not kill sanford in mc 12 please #Cham/txt #Cham/silly

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oneknightstand-if · 12 days

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Prompt:

Mc suddenly,out of nowhere sits on the RO's lap and proceeds to tell them things like "I love your eyes." Then placing a kiss on said eyes and also things like "I love [place insecurity of the RO]." And yeah u got the idea.

Merlin: What place of insecurity? Also snack time!╰(✿◕۝◕ )╯

Adrian: Man, this better take place near the end of the series otherwise Adrian jumped so high in startlement that he's probably on the roof now.

Arthur: *takes your hand and presses it against it against his chest so that you can feel the acceleration of his heart as he leans forward and -- yes, he's the only one who can take this seriously*

Percy: I'll be sure to let the organ donor program know that you've got first dibs on my eyes and duodenum.

4̸0̵4̴ ̴E̶r̷r̸o̸r̶ ̵N̴o̵t̵ ̵F̶o̵u̴n̵d̴: (ʘ‿ʘ)

Cassandra: Oh, exchanging compliments, are we now? Then I love your ${bestfeature}.

Gwen: *if (frame > 1) or (height != "short")

Vivian: She's turned into a puddle. Literally. Now she's sitting on your lap and you may or may not be floating in a lake at the moment.

Lorelei: *if (gender != "female") and (height != "short") (ʘ‿ʘ)

Broderick: . . . . . .

Broderick: . . . . . . *sliiides back in again* And y-your eyes are like ${insert-jewel-here} and-- a-argh, nope, I can't do this! *slides back out again*

Merlin: Very well, then I return as well! Obviously, as the resident ${incubus} of the group, I can tell that you ${MC} most definitely need--

#Sorry can't help but imagine a bunch of burly 6foot+ tall MCs with bulging muscles sitting on some of these ROs #Which is why Arthur is A-OK with this situation #oks-asks #oks-ROs #interactive fiction #one knight stand #oneknightstand

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texasaggie-seaknight · 11 days

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Eyes on target Devil…

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crowlipso · 10 months

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Pomegranate.

#I just want to draw something symbolically #and muscles #hogwarts legacy #hphl mc #hphl oc #hphl #agatha crowley #hogwarts legacy mc #hogwarts legacy oc #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian x mc #slytherin #hogwarts #hogwarts oc #my art

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jubileexoxo · 10 months

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y’all don’t understand like the way cove is so in love with MC (jamie last whatever u call them) THERES NOOOO WAY HE HASNT THOUGHT ABOUT THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS SHIT TO DO WITH THEM LIKE PUHLEASEEEE SEX ON THE BEACH PLSSSS I BEG OF YOUUUU!!22 LIKE ME PERSONALLY let me stop yelling, i hc that he’s into some kinky shit but wont bring it up unless prompted too like TRUST, this man is a freak JUST TRUST ME I SWEARRR