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#or lovely emotional ones about sam (a black guy) being captain america
duckybarnes1917 · 1 year
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Your Eyes Outshine The Town...Chapter 8
Bucky Barnes x Black Female Reader
18+ ONLY
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Summary: Christmas fluffiness. You, Bucky, Sam, and Yelena make Christmas cookies and open gifts. Bucky's insecurities start to get the best of him.
Warnings: None.
*Tumblr is not letting me add links to the prev or next chapters. Please see the masterlist pinned to my page for the rest of the story!*
7 Days Before Christmas
“You’ve really never heard of Rudolph?” Sam asked Yelena. 
“She was a child assassin, Sam. Give her a break!” Bucky bumped Yelena’s hip as he reached over her for the bag of flour. 
Yelena flicked a chocolate chip at Sam’s head. “Shush, I can’t hear.” 
You turned the tv up and handed Sam a beer. You both watched Yelena kneading cookie dough with her eyes glued to the tv–adorable. 
“Aw, why are these reindeer such dicks, though? This is happy Christmastime entertainment?” 
“That’s what I said!” Bucky took the dough from her and rolled it out onto the counter. 
“For former assassins, you’re both super sensitive,” you chuckled and emptied the container of cookie cutters onto the dining table. 
“This coming from the girl who cried every time we watched this as kids,” Sam smirked at you as Yelena and Bucky laughed. 
As you all baked and drank, eventually, you were all misty-eyed and ready to fight anyone with anything bad to say about Rudolph and his shiny nose. With your cookies rising in the oven and the movie coming to an end, you decided it was time to give Sam and Yelena their Christmas gifts. 
“Guys, Bucky has a surprise for both of you.” You turned their attention toward Bucky, who sat two Wakandan boxes in the middle of the living room. 
“You first, Sam.” Bucky pushed the first box toward where Sam sat at the dining table. 
Sam’s head shot up. “Are you serious right now?!” He lifted the new Captain America suit and wings out of the box. “This is dope as hell!” 
“There’s one more thing; look in the bottom!” You called from your seat in the one living room chair. 
Sam picked up his new Redwing. “I knew it–I knew you loved him, Buck.” 
“Don’t start,” Bucky groaned. “It–I don’t mind it. It’s been helpful every now and then.”
“Thanks, man.” Sam gave Bucky a side hug before packing everything away again. 
“Well, I figured if you’re gonna be Captain America, you gotta look good. Plus, the vibranium will keep you safer.”
“So sweet–my turn!” Yelena declared from her spot on the floor where you were braiding her hair. 
Bucky opened the second box and placed a vest in her hands. “Shuri and I thought you might want this.” 
Yelena sat up straighter, her bottom lip sticking out slightly like it might start quivering. “I always wondered what happened to it.” 
You wrapped your arm around Yelena’s shoulders. “It’s okay,” you whispered just to her. 
Yelena nodded and looked up at Bucky. “I gave this to her the last time I saw her–thank you.” 
Bucky gave her a short nod and handed her a cold beer. “To Natasha.” 
“To Natasha,” Yelena said as she clinked her bottle against Bucky’s. “I did not expect to be crying so much at Christmas.” 
You laughed and wiped your own tears. “It can be an emotional holiday.” 
“Well, it’s better than spending it in the Red Room, brainwashed.” 
“Yeah, I’ll drink to that.” Bucky downed the rest of his beer, making Yelena chuckle. 
**
“What are you still doing up?” You whispered as you tiptoed into the bedroom. Sam was sitting up, a lamp on while he read. 
“Couldn’t sleep,” he shrugged, “what’s up?” 
You sat at the foot of the bed, careful to not disturb Yelena. “Nothing–it’s just been a while since we’ve talked. There’s so much–” 
Sam sat his book down, opening his arms for you. You settled against his chest, letting his heartbeat calm you down. 
“You don’t owe me an explanation for anything. Okay?” 
That wasn’t true. Despite being your childhood best friend, Sam had not known anything about your secret life until very recently. You owed him a lot of explanations. 
You tilted your head up. “But–”
“No buts. Nothing has changed, I love you, and I’m here for you.” 
Your shoulders dropped as his words washed over you. Sam never said anything he didn’t mean. His kindness and love never wavered. “Thanks, Sam. I love you too.” 
“How are you? Are you doing better with you know–Stephan?”
You shifted, tucking your chin as if to hide even more. “I’m fine.” 
“Very convincing. How are things going with Bucky?” 
“He’s great.” You laid back down. “We have fun, and I’m really trying to make this Christmas special for him. He’s been through so much, and I just want to give him everything he deserves, ya know?” 
Sam squeezed your shoulder. “He’s lucky to have you. Just be sure you’re taking care of yourself too.” 
“That’s the thing, Sam; I don’t care about myself anymore. I would do anything to see him smile, to make sure that nothing ever hurts him again.” 
“Damn. Remember when you told me you didn’t think you would know when you were in love?” 
You chuckled quietly, “it’s crazy, I know.” 
“But it’s good. I’m so proud of you.”
“Proud?” 
“For putting yourself out there, for taking a risk. I know this terrifies you.”
 You hummed, snuggling deeper into his chest. “I really love him, Sam. So much that it’s overwhelming.”
“Then can I ask you something?” 
“What?” 
“Why are you here cuddling with me for comfort when he’s laying out there alone?” 
Your silence told Sam everything he needed to know. Something was wrong. 
“Are you gonna tell me what’s going on? I mean, the Tracksuit Mafia? That’s serious.” 
“Сука,” you hissed in Yelena’s direction. “I can’t believe she told you.” 
“We have a bond now–come on, spill.” 
“It’s the Power Broker; that’s all I know. Yelena has some contacts; she’s gonna look into it for me. I swear to God if either of you says anything to Bucky and ruin his Christmas–”
“Calm down, we’re not gonna say anything. But I can’t just sit back and let you get yourself killed.”
“Please,” you snorted. “It’s gonna take a hell of a lot more than some idiots in tracksuits to kill me.” 
“Yeah, well, I’m gonna keep an eye on things just in case.” 
“Okay, big bird,” you yawned. “I’m going back to bed.”
“Stubborn, I don’t know how Bucky puts up with you.” 
“I make it worth his while,” you teased. 
“Gross, go to sleep.” Sam pushed you off the bed as you laughed. 
“Both of you go to sleep,” Yelena groaned. 
“Goodnight, Sam,” you kissed his forehead. “Goodnight, snitch,” you said to Yelena with a sharp flick to her ear. 
You softly closed the door, quietly making your way to the air mattress in the living room. Bucky was snoring softly, his body taking up most of the bed. you gently lifted his arm and slid underneath him. Even in his sleep, his body reacted to yours–his strong arm pulling you close. You were reminded of the first time you had slept together in your bed in Berlin. You had waited for him to make a move, but he just looked so tired. He had slept so peacefully, his body clinging to you like you were the only source of warmth in his life. 
Suddenly even forever, if you were that lucky, didn’t seem like enough time with him. You wished you could take back every moment that you had pushed him away, every moment that you had let him believe you felt nothing for him. What a waste. 
You turned to wake him up, not wanting to waste any time asleep. “Bucky,” you whispered, shaking his shoulder. 
“Hmm? What?” He mumbled, his eyes still closed. “Doll?”
You smiled as you watched his pretty lips move. “Nothing,” you shushed him, running your fingers over his bearded chin. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”
6 Days Before Christmas 
"Samuel!" 
Your shocked but scolding tone made Sam and Bucky jump and whip their heads in your direction—their eyes wide, knowing they had been caught. 
"What the fuck are you doing?" You stepped further into the bathroom and ripped a pair of scissors out of Sam's hand. 
"I was just gonna–" 
"What? Ruin Bucky's hair?!" You ran your fingers through Bucky's locks, ensuring Sam hadn't done any damage. 
Bucky tilted his head back to look at you. "I didn't think you would mind." 
You rolled your eyes and kissed his forehead. "I don't care if you cut it, Buck. I care that you were about to let Sam cut it with goddamned kitchen scissors ." 
"Gross," Yelena chimed in from the door, a bag of goldfish in her hands. 
"Yeah, gross." You pushed her and Sam out of the bathroom. "I’ll take care of this. Can you please not get crumbs all over my floor?” 
“It would have been fine,” Sam grumbled but followed Yelena back to the living room. 
You dug through your stuff until you found a pair of haircutting shears. “Here we go, now put a towel around your shoulders. 
Bucky did what you asked, holding it in place with one of your hair clips. You stood behind him, running your hands through his hair and smiling at him in the mirror. “What can I do for you today, Mr. Barnes?” 
Bucky hummed as your nails scratched his scalp. “Are you trying to make me change my mind? Because it’s working.” 
“No,” you laughed and started spritzing his hair with water. “How short do you want it?” 
“Honestly, I don’t know–whatever you think will look good.” 
“Good answer.” You combed through his hair, preparing a piece to cut. 
“Have you done this before?” 
You snorted and snipped the hair. “You were gonna let Sam do this, and you’re questioning my abilities?”
“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Bucky mumbled. 
“I was very surprised,” you teased as you continued snipping away. 
When Bucky didn’t lighten up, you shifted your tone. “What brought this on?” 
Bucky shifted on his stool, making you swat his arm. “Stay still.” 
“It’s nothing–just wanted a change.” 
You studied his face—not buying his response for one second. “Since you asked, yes, I have done this before. A woman–Miss Dotty–let me hang out in her salon after school. So, I know when someone sitting in my chair has something they need to get off their chest.” 
Bucky sighed, meeting your eyes in the mirror. “I don’t want you to think something’s wrong with me–it’s just when I was out with Sam today, there was a lot more attention than I’m used to. And on top of that–” Bucky trailed off. 
“What is it, Buck?” You moved in front of him so you could work on the fringe around his face. 
He refused to meet your eyes until you lifted his chin. “You can tell me anything, baby.” 
“I’ve just felt like something is wrong with us–like you’re pulling away from me.” Bucky’s heart pounded in his chest, his palms sweating as he waited for your response. 
This could be it, the end—why did I say anything?! 
You paused your actions, dropping yourself into his lap and cradling his face. “There’s nowhere else I would rather be, Bucky. No one else I would rather be with. You have to know that. I fucking adore you.” 
Bucky looked deep into your eyes, searching for any hint that you were lying to make him feel better. Simply going Christmas shopping with Sam had triggered so many memories that had been dormant since he had been with you. All day, as they were swarmed by fans and press, he felt like he was sinking deeper and deeper into quicksand. The public’s opinions, his own self-hate and doubts dragged him down as he desperately tried to fight it. Sam had made a joke about cutting Bucky’s hair, and Bucky had taken him up on it, foolishly thinking getting rid of the all too familiar long hair would somehow make him feel better. As if cutting the locks off would somehow transform him into a different person with a different past. 
“I’m sorry,” Bucky whispered. 
“No,” you brushed your thumb over his cheek. “Don’t apologize. I’m sorry you had a rough day, baby.” 
“It’s better now,” Bucky pulled your hips closer, needing to feel you pressed against him. “So much better now.” 
You let him hold you, gently rubbing his back and cursing yourself for making him feel this way. From now on, things were going to be better. 
“Let me finish this, and then we can relax, okay?” 
“Yeah, okay, thank you, doll.” 
Bucky let you go, but you stayed in his lap as you finished his haircut, snipping and shaping and eventually drying and ruffling until his once shoulder-length locks were cut neatly into a fashionable mop of fluff. 
“What do you think?” You handed Bucky a mirror and let him appraise your work. 
He turned his head from side to side and ran his fingers through his hair. A small smile ghosted across his face. “I think Miss Dotty taught you well.”
“She did,” you kissed his cheek before standing up to dust him off. You watched him continue to appraise himself in the mirror, your core heating up quickly. How could a haircut be such a turn-on? You knew you were a good stylist, but you had never used your skills on someone as pretty as Bucky.
“You look damn good, maybe a little too good.” You squeezed yourself between Bucky and the counter. 
“Is that so?” Bucky teased as he lifted you up. 
“Are you still in the mood for cuddles or–” 
“Hey, what do you guys want to–” Sam stepped back as Bucky slammed the bathroom door closed in his face. “—do for dinner,” he finished to himself. “Nevermind then! Come on, Yelena, the animals are at it again.” 
“Bring me something back!” You yelled as Bucky pushed you up against the bathroom door. 
No reply came, but you were too lost in Bucky to notice.
Don't forget to reblog! 😉
*Tumblr is not letting me add links to the prev or next chapters. Please see the masterlist pinned to my page for the rest of the story!*
Taglist: @delaberr @mannien @raindrcpsangel @cjand10
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ladyofnonsequitur · 3 years
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So, hey, I’m not going to WATCH the thing, and have very little interest in marvel stuff at all, but I guess sam (the falcon) is captain america now??? did he stop HAVING AWESOME WINGS? Did he give up flying for A SHIELD because that’s silly and I dislike it. 
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ashasdramadrawer · 2 years
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Civil War was trying to be a fallen Paladin story and they really mucked it up
I keep coming back to this question: What was Civil War’s goal?
Introduce Spider-Man, T’Challa and break up the Avengers, yeah, okay. Story-wise?
I think most people agree, that it was not a Captain America movie. It centered Iron Man’s emotions and plot more than Steve’s. It didn’t give much in the way of character development for ANY of Steve’s supporting cast beyond bits and pieces. There was no story or plot progression for Falcon, Sharon, Natasha or even Bucky, really, given that he winds up stuck in a crytotube at the end. It was almost entirely a vehicle for setting up a conflict to destroy the Avengers for Infinity War to happen. (Which... dear god this was a bad place for such a plot. Infinity War would have been the place to have the Avengers dissolve, and then everyone coming back together would have been the plot to Endgame. Why did they skip that? WHY? Infinity War was the better of the two movies but they basically repeated the battle of Wakanda twice and- I’m gonna stop because that’s a different rant)
I think everyone knows what a fallen Paladin/Paragon story is meant to be. A very powerful person, who is motivated by strong ideals of some kind, is pushed by circumstances into doing something that they otherwise would not do. They’re used either as a way to make someone look like a hypocrite, particularly if the character is arrogant and self-righteous: this person is willing to follow an unyielding code or laws until it inconveniences them, and then all bets are off.  If they aren’t, it’s usually a tragedy because we see the rigidity of that moral code creating a black or white mindset that won’t allow that person to compromise for any reason. This is actually makes for some excellent drama and why I love playing paladins- how does a person who is incredibly Lawful in their thinking handle a murky situation? How does a person wanting to do the most good handle a situation of nothing but bad and worse? How can a hopeful person handle a crapsack world? I love seeing Sam and Steve both in these situations, because they aren’t meant to be the type of heroes who always win. Sometimes they lose, and how they deal with that defeat is what makes them compelling to me.
One thing that came up repeatedly in interviews about CIvil War was that this was meant to be a movie where Cap acts selfishly for once. But that the initial conflict, about the Accords, is some ill-defined notion of ‘accountability’. The accords aren’t really relevant once the attack on the UN happens. They don’t move the plot- Zemo does. And Zemo’s whole personality is that he is a normal man who is able to understand Steve and Tony so much that he can anticipate what they’ll do in a given circumstance. He goes after their respective weaknesses to pit them against each other. On top of that, we don’t know exactly what the accords are asking for. Just that they exist, the UN has put them in place, and Thunderbolt Ross, Hulk Bad Guy extraordinaire (and guy who is shown to NOT be trusted with anything) is in charge of it.
There were a lot of elements here that, if teased out, would have made for some damn compelling stories. Zemo vs Tony, for example- that would have made for a MUCH better Iron Man 3 than what we got. The accords, and the details of them being about restricting freedoms of super powered folk and were made blatant that they would not affect people like Tony or Rhodes the same way it would hit Steve or Wanda or Vision? That would have been interesting. Tony and Steve having a personality conflict that made them break up the team? Again, good. Instead it was all shoved in at once.
But if this was going to be a Captain America movie, it should have entirely been about Steve’s fall from grace. And we should have had a moment where Steve realizes this, and decides to fix it or take a third option.
I think you can make the argument that Civil War, on paper, is a story about Tony’s fall from grace.
Tony, trying to atone for Sokovia and Ultron, and going too far, but too caught up in being self-righteous to notice. Tony, unwilling to compromise and realize he’s gone too far when it comes to Steve’s team. Tony, who comes to a realization that he’s fucked up, tries to go fix things, then has a breakdown because he can’t keep to the morals he’s trying to follow, instead giving into revenge. If he’s not a noble demon ala Darth Vader at that point, I don’t know what is. On paper, Tony is the fallen hero-turned-bad guy.
But for some reason they failed to commit to this idea for Tony. Possibly because RDJ didn’t want Tony to fail or to be seen as doing something genuinely bad. (even though... hell yes he did. But the narrative frames him as being unable to help himself, which is kind of the definition of tragedy, but that he would go through with revenge is usually seen as villainy as well. And there was no doubt that he was trying to kill Steve and Bucky in that moment)
See, that’s where we get to the problem.
This was supposed to be Steve’s movie.
Showing Steve act selfishly would have involved Bucky actually killing someone while lucid and Steve helping him afterwards. Bucky being mind-controlled took that moral imperative off him and put it on Hydra and his handlers. We KNOW he had no choice in the matter and no control over his actions. They tried to do this with the whole “Bucky killed Howard and Maria Stark” but since it was under duress, and happened over 20 years ago? It didn’t demonstrate Steve and Bucky being selfish. All it did was show that Tony was not someone who should ever be a leadership position ever, because when stressed he flies off the handle and acts hypocritically when someone hits his buttons. It centered Tony’s reactions, Tony’s POV, and Tony’s feelings, instead of following the person that the movie was supposed to be about.
So yeah. I’m still salty about that. The movie couldn’t even follow Steve’s fall. Instead we got Tony’s. And the movie wasn’t even done well enough to acknowledge it.
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vibraniumcollar · 3 years
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Sanctuary || Chapter One
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Pairing: Bucky x Female!Reader
Summary: AU, Reader is Steve Rogers’ niece and a former Hydra captive who was taken at a young age. After finding a good place in the world, Sam and Bucky show up needing her help.
Warnings: Mentions of kidnapping and death
Word Count: 1,670
Authors Note: Hi! So this is my first series and I can’t wait to see how you guys react. The next chapter does get a bit dark, but not too much. Brief mentions. I plan on throwing out chapters when I can. I have the second I may post later today or tomorrow. Enjoy and give me your feedback! Also if enough people want to, I could start a tag list!
Beta Read: @mollygetssherlockcoffee
Reblog & give some feedback! 💜
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Brooklyn. It was your home, well, one that you had come to love. You didn’t really have a place that felt like home growing up. Hydra had stolen you away when you were ten years old and forced the serum into your blood. Since then, the Hydra base had been your home. But once you managed to escape, you hid away. What better place than the city? Too many people and you could easily hide if they came looking for you.
It had been five and a half years since the snap first happened. Hydra hadn’t found you yet.
The world was slowly starting to piece itself back together. It had been about four months since everyone returned and it started off hectic. You had moved into your apartment during the five years, going into fight mode when an old man suddenly appeared in your living room. Once you found out what happened, it all made sense. You allowed the old man to stay with you for a couple weeks, just until he figured out his next step. Luckily he found his family that hadn’t been snapped out of existence and moved in with them. You two still kept in contact.
Sighing as you sat perched against your open window, music softly playing in the back while you watched the busy street below, your mind raced. It was a crazy time, even more when you heard that you might be brought in to help take down some group called the “Flag Smashers”. Sam called you two days ago, hoping that you would be able to track down information on the members. You found a handful of names, addresses, but nothing else. When he informed you after his fight with them on the trucks that they were super soldiers, you knew you would have to gear up.
The doorbell rang, bringing you out of your thoughts. Sam was going to stay with you for the night and bring you up to speed before the two of you headed out the next day. You didn’t mind, you had the space. He could take the guest room or the couch, whatever worked for him. Standing, you made your way over to the door and pulled it open. That’s when you felt your heart jump into your throat.
Next to Sam was Bucky Barnes, The Winter Soldier. Swallowing hard, you pulled the door open farther and allowed them to walk in with a nod.
“Hey, y/n. How ya been?” Sam asked as he hugged you, the door being shut by Bucky.
“Not too bad. I’ve got my computer running some databases to see if anything else comes up on those people. Looks like you found the old man,” you smiled softly, trying to shake off your nerves.
“Yeah, he finally showed himself. Bucky, this is y/n. She’s...like you,” Sam nodded, taking Bucky’s bag and setting both down beside the couch.
Bucky raised an eyebrow, tilting his head slightly in a questioning gaze. You shrugged, walking over to the kitchen area to grab waters from the fridge for them. “Ex-Hydra,” was all you said. Bucky looked to Sam, who shook his head.
“She’s good, man. I’ll explain later. She’s the one I’ve been getting my information from,” Sam spoke as he took the water you offered him. You could already tell that Bucky was trying to figure you out, his stare unnerving but something you had seen before. He recognized you, but from where? He had met plenty of people over the years in Hydra. Did you two work together? Stuck at the same base? He took the water and sipped, staying quiet for the moment.
“You guys will have to flip a coin for who takes the couch. I’ve only got one guest room and I doubt you two will want to cuddle up together,” you joked, walking over to the couch to take a seat in front of your laptop. Photos of Karli and Dovich were on the right side of the screen with whatever information you could gather. Unfortunately it wasn’t as much as you liked.
“I’ll take the couch,” Bucky finally muttered, though it was low.
Sam nodded, not putting up a fight. “Hey, is it cool if I shower? I feel all grimey,” Sam scrunched his face up. Considering they had just left Germany, you weren’t surprised.
“Go ahead. Towels are in the hall closet. Only body wash I have is eucalyptus and mint, hope that’s alright,” you said, sitting back in your seat as you glanced up to the bird man. He smiled before giving a quiet thanks and headed off to the bathroom. “You can take one after him if you’d like,” you said as your gaze shifted to Bucky. He nodded softly and sat on the chair that sat next to the couch, a wide berth between you two.
Bucky examined your living room as you worked on your computer. You had little knick knacks and trinkets, things you found at thrift stores that caught your eye. Photos and artwork hung on your walls, but one in particular stood out to him. Standing up, he crossed the room and stared at a pencil drawing. A monkey dressed in a Captain America suit, holding an umbrella and a shield, clowns lining the bottom.
“Where did you get this?” Bucky asked, furrowing his brow as he looked over the lines. It brought back a memory, one he didn’t realize he forgot.
“My uncle gave it to me,” you answered, crossing your arms and watching the tall man. You knew something clicked within him, you were just wondering how long it would take for him to figure it out.
“Huh. Sort of looks like a drawing my friend did-“ Bucky started to explain, but you cut him off.
“In 1943. Right before he set out to save you and the others from Hydra,” you interrupted, causing Bucky’s eyes to grow wide. Raising your hand up, you pointed to a photo on the opposite wall, the one he had his back to. It was a simple 5x8, a black frame surrounding the picture. In it, two people smiled happily at the camera while sitting in a booth at some Chinese restaurant. One person was you. The other...Steve Rogers. Bucky was completely confused as he took in the happy faces, how calm both of you looked. Glancing back to you, he didn’t have to even speak to ask what the fuck?
“My uncle, your friend. Same person,” you started off, knowing he was going to have a million questions. Your hand motioned back to the chair, showing how you were willing to tell him your story. Bucky took off his jacket and sat down, looking over at you expectantly.
“When I was ten, Hydra took me in. Killed my parents and kidnapped me. They gave me the serum because they wanted to see if it would work. I guess too many have died because their bodies wouldn’t hold up against the fire in their veins, so they wanted to test it on someone in relation to another who already had it. Zola’s wasn’t quite the same as Erskine’s, but I guess it was close enough if I’m still here. They raised me to be a killer, though I was resilient. I wouldn’t break,” you shrugged, though it pained you to remember everything they had done with you when you rebelled. “I managed to escape and go into hiding. Steve and Natasha found me before the first snap and I’ve been around ever since. We didn’t tell anyone because it was too dangerous. With how the world is...it’s better just to keep everything on the down low,” you explained, sighing. “He did want to tell you when you guys came back. I made him promise not to. I had been through enough and I was tired. Sam only knows about me because he overheard us on the phone. He kept badgering him, asking if he was dating anyone. He gave in and told him. Now Sam is like the annoying uncle I got stuck with,” you smiled jokingly. From what Sam had said, Bucky may appreciate your humor.
And he did. Bucky leaned back in the chair in shock, but a hint of a smile played on his lips. “So you were there during the whole five years?” He asked, to which you nodded. “Good. I’m glad he found family. I know he had an older sister that left home as a teenager, but no one really knew what happened to her,” he mumbled.
“She stayed in New York, got married, had my mom, and then I came along eventually. When Steve disappeared in the ice, my grandma always said when I was a kid that she missed her opportunity to get to know him. She died before he came out of the ice. I only have a handful of memories of her before I was taken,” you revealed.
Bucky looked over to the photo of you and Steve before looking down at his hands. “So Hydra. I thought you looked familiar. I’m struggling to remember more though,” he admitted. You knew why. Of course you knew why. You remember hearing his screams.
“You were forced to punish me when I was a teenager for the way I acted out, but something made you stop. I don’t know if that other guy had some sort of emotion and knew it was wrong to beat up a kid or what, but you didn’t. And you actually helped me escape,” you uttered, which caused that same surprised look on Bucky’s face that you had seen more of in the past ten minutes than you ever had.
“Tell me?” Bucky asked, wanting to know what he did. He couldn’t believe that the soldier had some sort of empathy, enough to help someone escape from Hydra.
So you sat back, kicked your feet up on the table beside your laptop, and began.
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the--sad--hatter · 3 years
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Steam - Chapter 1 (Loki x Reader)
Warnings - Loki, Smut, Violence & Gore, Swearing, Death, Angst, Dark Humour, Crack Humour, Shenanigan’s, Mutual Pining
Pairing - Loki X Reader (Slow Burn Romance), Enemies to Frenemies to Idiots in Love
Reader Description - Female, No physical descriptions, Only referred to by nicknames & Petnames (No use of Y/N)
Description/Blurb -
“So how’d you get the firepower? What’s your origin story?” Stark asked, peering at you curiously.
“Uh, this is my origin story…” You winced, sighing when he motioned for you to elaborate, “I got these powers about three days ago.”
It’s a tale as old as time, boy meets girl, boy tries to invade girls mind, girl sets boy on fire, boy turns into angry blue boy, they become sworn enemies.
When you suddenly become imbued with a power you have no idea how to control, Nick Fury picks you up and dumps you on The Avengers doorstep, deciding that they are best people to turn you from a wacky novice into a force to be reckoned with.
The power burning inside you has the potential to make you a hero, or destroy you completely, but your new fire based abilities are more than they appear, and in a stroke of spectacularly bad luck, The God of Mischief is the most qualified teacher to mentor you. With Loki guiding you, will you ever learn to control your power? Will you ever make it as an Avenger? Or will you crash and burn?
Only one thing is absolutely certain, when fire and ice collide, things are bound to get… steamy!
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Chapter One - Ice Breaker
It was every bit as imposing as you’d imagined it would be, not that you’d ever imagined seeing it under these circumstances.
 “Are you coming?” Fury barked at you, breaking you out of your slack-jawed awe.
 You snapped your mouth closed and tore your eyes away from the legendary tower, looking at the doors where Fury was impatiently waiting for you.
 “Coming!” You squeaked, scurrying over to him, “It’s just when you said you were taking me somewhere where I could safely learn to control my powers, I was sort of picturing an underground bunker in the desert, not the freaking Avengers Tower!”
 “I utilise the assets I have, why would I send you away when I have a team of perfectly capable super-powered individuals?” He asked wryly, leading you across the lobby and straight past the security teams who did nothing to stop you both as you made your way into an elevator.
 “I’m just saying, a heads up would have been nice.” You muttered petulantly, crossing your arms over your chest and tucking your hands out of sight.
 You felt him look at you and studiously refused to meet his eye, staring instead at the numbers above the door as you were carried all the way to the top of the Tower.
 “Heads up, you’re meeting The Avengers.” He shot back.
You could say what you liked about the former director of Shield, he was true to his word, because the elevator doors wooshed open to reveal a waiting crowd of Avengers, all of them staring at the man next to you with varying levels of annoyance and/or distrust. You diligently pattered after Fury as he stepped forward to greet them, looking around the room reverently.
 The first person you laid eyes on was Tony Stark, Iron Man; the billionaire who had kicked off the modern age of hero’s, and next to him, Captain America, the first of the first, the OG Superhero. Stood behind the Captain was Sam Wilson, the Falcon and a personal favourite of yours, side by side with Bucky Barnes, the former Winter Soldier and poster-child for taking back control of your own fate. Clint Barton aka Hawkeye and the deadliest marksman in the world stood to the side with the Black Widow, deadliest person in the world full stop. In the back of the room two other figures were hanging back, emitting two very different aura’s. Doctor Bruce Banner eyed Fury with trepadition, and well-placed mistrust.
 It was the last person in the room that the majority of your attention was reserved for, the tall, imposing god who skulked in the shadows. Contempt and boredom radiated from him, and you couldn’t safely say it was directed purely at Fury. He was also the only one who spared you more than a cursory glance, and you slowed to a stop as you found yourself trapped in his curious gaze. You stared back, trying to reconcile the villain who once tried to subjugate the planet with the one you were locking eyes with. It had been months since he had joined the Avengers, but it never stopped being strange to see him standing with them whenever you watched footage of them taking on whatever bad guy of the week they were battling. However, he had been fully cleared of any wrongdoing in the battle of New York, apparently he had been mind-controlled. As to why he was helping the Avengers, nobody really knew.  
 Someone cleared their throat loudly and you forced yourself to look away from the stupendously tall god, glancing around the room to see that you now had all eyes watching you expectantly. Apparently you’d zoned out for the introductions.
 “’Sup?” You offered, waving in Tony Starks general direction.
 “So you’re Fury’s fiery friend, what has that got to do with us?” Stark sighed.
 “What, you think he bothered to explain his reasoning to me before dragging my ass up here?” You scoffed.
 “She’s here because she has abilities, abilities that she is more likely to learn to handle among similarly gifted people.” Fury explained in a tone that brokered no argument.
 Naturally, The Avengers argued.
 “We don’t have anybody with fire abilities.” You heard Natasha Romanoff point out, just before you took the opportunity to zone out again.
 You were absolutely certain that nobody cared very much what your opinion on the matter was, thankfully. You weren’t sure you had an opinion on the matter. It wasn’t like you had a lot of experience with these kinds of issues, and as far as you were away there wasn’t some superhero academy that you could enrol yourself in. Besides, you were much more interested in re-instating your staring competition with the god of Mischief.
 In the brief time you’d been distracted, he’d stepped away from the shadows and moved closer to you, staring at you with his arms crossed.
 You resisted the urge to inhale deeply, who knew ex-murderous gods would smell so nice? You looked up, and then up again.
 “How tall are you?” You asked incredulously.
 His gaze flickered down at you impassively, while you stared back and tried to mentally calculate his height.
 “I’m a Frost Giant.” He stated coldly.
 “Oh in that case, you’re kinda short.” You scoffed.
 You were flooded with immediate remorse but it was drowned out by amusement.
 “I beg your pardon?” He demanded, uncrossing his arms and stepping into your personal space.
 “Down boy.” Iron Man sniggered, stepping between you. “So how’d you get the firepower? What’s your origin story?” Stark asked, peering at you curiously.
 “Uh, this is my origin story…” You winced, sighing when he motioned for you to elaborate, “I got these powers about three days ago.”
 “So you’re a baby.” He stated matter-of-factly.
 “If I say yes does that mean I can just sit on the floor and cry until someone picks me up and holds me?” You asked, fully willing to give it a go.
 It had been three days since your life had literally gone up in flames, three days of pinning your arms at your sides, afraid to close your eyes, afraid to let your guard down for even a split second, afraid to allow yourself to feel even an iota of emotion.
 “So how did it happen?” The Captain asked firmly, getting the conversation back on track before you could find out if anyone would volunteer a hug.
 “I, well, I kind of…” You trailed off and looked at Fury for help, but he just stared back at you, the bastard.
 All eyes were on you as they waited for you to explain, nobody offering any kind of help. You exhaled forcefully and slumped your shoulders, tucking your chin so you didn’t have to look at them anymore.
 “I ate a bomb.” You whispered.
 There was a very long beat of silence before it was broken by several voices all at once.
 “I’m sorry, what?” Stark demanded.
 “What did it taste like?” The archer wondered, looking at you almost giddily.
 “She didn’t eat a bomb.” Fury finally stepped in to clarify, “She absorbed the blast, after failing to defuse it.”
 “Why was a civilian defusing a bomb in the first place?” Captain Rogers asked sharply, glancing at you in concern before turning back to Fury with a hard expression.
 “I’m not a civilian, I’m actually an Agent.” You reasoned.
 “She’s an Agent-In-Training.” Fury rebutted. “It was her first mission in the field.”
 “Baby.” Stark reiterated, faking a cough and smirking at you when you scowled at him.
 That was true, and you still didn’t think it was entirely your fault that the bomb had gone off. Yes you’d failed to diffuse it, but you were supposed to be watching the perimeter when you’d stumbled across the explosive device. It had less than thirty seconds on the clock, and you’d stupidly chosen to spend those seconds trying to stop it detonating instead of running away.
 “And you put her on bomb duty? Were you trying to get her blown up?” The Black Widow demanded, and you almost laughed until you saw the serious expression on her face.
 “There wasn’t supposed to be a bomb there, she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Fury shrugged, like it was inconsequential.
 To him it probably was.
 “She is still in the room, and I was exactly where you told me to be, when you told me to be there. If your intel was bad, that’s on you Mr Superspy.” You snapped.
 “Oh I see it now!” Stark briskly announced, “You’re trying to pawn her off on us because she’s too sassy for you.”
 “Precisely.” Fury admitted, surprisingly.
 “In the words of shortstack over there,” You hissed, gesturing at Loki “I beg your pardon?”
 “You don’t have the temperance to be an Agent.” Fury told you blankly, not bothering to soften the blow by at least telling you this in private instead of in front of the world greatest heroes.
 “I’d take that as a compliment.” Stark assured you.
 “You’re telling me I’m fired? Literally. Because I got blown up, through no fault of my own?” You huffed, clenching your firsts in an effort to keep your emotions from manifesting in a fiery inferno of rage.
 “Because you choose to try and handle a bomb you had no training to handle, instead of pursuing the target.” Fury amended, unphased by your distress.
 You bit back your retort because you knew it wouldn’t matter to him in the slightest. You couldn’t reason with him, couldn’t explain that you had made the choice not to pursue the target who’d planted the bomb, because you had to try and stop it exploding in a building filled with innocent people. Maybe Fury was right after all. Maybe you weren’t suited to being an Agent, because an Agent would have known that they couldn’t stop the bomb but they could stop the bomber. They would have let a hundred innocent people die and stopped the killer from killing a thousand more the next time. You weren’t an Agent because you’d chosen to die trying to save the hundred, and trusted in Fury and Hill to take down the Bomber.
 Of course, that wasn’t what had happened, and in the end nobody had died.
 “None of this explains how you ‘ate’ the bomb.” Clint Barton pointed out, and it was a good observation.
 “That’s because we don’t have an explanation. She went through the standard medical tests in her training, and all her bloodwork and scans indicated she was fully human. She walked into that building as a human being, and walked back out after absorbing a bomb, as who the hell knows what.”
 “So you’ve never done anything like this before?” Dr Banner asked you, speaking directly to you for the first time.
 “Not even remotely. I mean my eyes water when I eat chilli.” You shrugged.
 “Fascinating.” Banner muttered. “Inhuman?” He asked, turning to Stark.
 “Unlikely, she would have probably noticed going through Terragenesis.” Stark responded. “Mutant?” He shot back.
 “No, the mutant gene would have shown up in testing.” Dr Banner sighed, looking you over with a scientifically calculating eye. “Can you explain what happened in more detail?”
 “Sure, bomb went boom, I went AHHHHHH, and then it was all bright and hot and then the boom went away.” You told them.
 “So how do we know that it was you? What if something else contained the blast?” Someone asked, and you looked around before you finally realised it was Sam Wilson who had spoken.
 “No, it was… it definitely me.” You sighed.
 “How do you know?” Bucky Barnes interjected, backing up the Falcons line of questioning.
 That was the million dollar question. How could you be sure that you had anything to do with the bomb, that you had been imbued with fire power?
 “During the post-mission de-brief, there was an incident.” You alluded, side-eying Fury and taking a not-so-subtle step away from him.
 “Please tell me you tried to set him on fire?” Barton asked giddily, looking between you and your former boss.
 When Fury levelled you with a glare and you developed a sudden vested in the ceiling, the Archer sniggered joyfully. You chanced a look around the room and saw that Barton wasn’t the only one exhibiting mirth at the idea of Fury being set ablaze by your.. well, your fury.
 “He was yelling at me!” You defended, taking yet another step back when his glare intensified.
 “You’re lucky you had no aim and only managed to set fire to the table.” He snapped.
 “I think you were the lucky one.” Stark sniggered at Fury.
 “Do you want her or not?” Fury sighed.
 “Do I get a say in this?” You objected.
 “No.” Fury, Stark, Romanoff, and Loki said in unison.
 “I can run some tests to figure out what happened to you, if it’s reversible.” Banner offered comfortingly. “With your permission of course.”
 “I’m gonna go stand over there with him.” You huffed, making a beeline for the doctor and awkwardly hiding behind him.
 “Yeah, we’ll take her, should be an interesting riddle to solve.” Stark shrugged.
 Captain Rogers and his buddies glanced at you before appearing to have a silent conversation.
 “She can stay here while Stark and Banner figure out what happened, and we can go from there.” The Captain finally decided.
 “We’ll take good care of her.” Loki added with a charming smile.
 His eyes said something completely different, and you had a sick feeling that you were going to be made to pay for your short jokes.
 “Glad I meet your approval; I was worried I was going to fall short.” You sarked, immediately resisting the urge to punch yourself in the face.
 “Approval has nothing to do with it. Of all The Avengers, who do you think will be responsible for testing your abilities? You would do well to remember that I am more than mischief and lies, I am the god of chaos and fire.” He warned you cockily, visibly delighting in the way your grin faltered.
 You shot a pleading look around the room, but nobody was refuting Loki’s claim. In fact, they were nodding thoughtfully, or in Stark’s case; shrugging apologetically at you. You turned back to Loki, ignoring the deep sense of foreboding in your stomach.
 “Well Fe-Fi-Fo-Fuck.”
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I have been trying to get back into writing for so long, and this is my last attempt. If this doesn’t work then I am out of ideas. 
I know this is a boring start but I have been re-working and rewriting it for days and I can’t improve it. If you enjoyed any part of this, please do tell me! If you didn’t, then tell me that as well. Just give me any feedback at all, I’d appreciate it so so so so so much. 
For those of you unaware (especially on AO3), I haven’t been writing for a while because my estranged mother passed away and it brought up issues that needed to be dealt with, but all that is over with now. Thank you to everyone who sent supportive messages and was patient with me ❤
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cacoetheswriting · 3 years
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hell or high water
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pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader warnings: angst, possible tfatws spoilers, swearing, dealing with emotions / comforting, mutual pining, a lil fluff, & mentions of john walker [yes, i’m adding that as a warning] word count: 1.5k summary: unexpected, and rather devastating news, bring you and bucky together.
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The calm before the storm - a period of unusual tranquillity and stability that often foreshadowed grave and difficult times.
The calm before the storm. That’s how you would describe what was happening during this moment, as you propped yourself up on the chair, silently observing Bucky for any sort of reaction to the breaking headline currently being shared on every single news channel.
John Walker. The new Captain America.
Bucky’s face was blank, although by now you’ve gotten to know him well enough to understand what the expression, or lack thereof, meant. He was irritated - no - he was fucking pissed. And truthfully, he had every right to be.
“I liked that what I was doing would make people feel safe. Steve Rogers was the kind of guy who could do that, he gave me hope. Even though I never met him, he feels like a brother.” John Walker’s voice sounded through the shitty speakers.
Bucky’s heart sank at the words. He smacked his lips together and exhaled.
“Hey, uhm… are you okay?” You asked in a hushed tone, eyes glued to the side of his face, nervously chewing down on your bottom lip. It was a really stupid question since you already knew the answer. Of course he wasn’t okay. Far from it, actually. In your eyes however, it was always better to check anyway. 
Especially since the man sitting on the cool ground only an arms length away from you wasn’t one to open up freely.
Bucky grunted in response, followed by a deep sigh.
“Just… peachy.” He huffed, before switching the tv off and sliding a hand down his face, wiping away any lone tears that may have escaped.
His response caused your heart to clench inside of your chest. You wanted to ease any pain the unexpected news caused him, but you weren’t exactly sure how. You felt extremely helpless, and from where you sat you could tell he was feeling the exact same - however, for different reasons.
His powerlessness was primarily fueled by anger.
And Bucky was aware the dangerous emotions circulating through his veins was undoubtedly stemming from heartbreak. Sorrow for everything he lost. Grief for the only family he had left.
Prior to meeting you, Steve was the only person that accepted him for who he was. Cherished him despite the many flaws and mistakes he’s made over the years. The only person in this whole damn universe who could easily separate him from his dark and troubled past. The only person who didn’t just see him as The Winter Soldier, a ruthless killing machine.
No.
Prior to meeting you, Steve was the only person who truly and earnestly believed Bucky was a good person.
And now Bucky had to witness Captain America being formally replaced. As if Steve Rogers was nothing. As if he meant nothing.
Which is why, as the dark-haired man stared at his own hollow reflection in the blank television screen, he was glad you entered his life when you did.
His gaze trailed to the outline of your silhouette and a small smile circled his lips. Knowing that you were here for him. Knowing that it was no longer only Steve who wholeheartedly believed he was genuine and kind… He felt better.
You could see him looking at you through the black display. You could see the miniscule smile present on his features, and you couldn’t help but return the expression.
Soon enough you were up on your feet, gracefully moving from the rather uncomfortable chair to the even more uncomfortable floor next to Bucky. You placed your head on his shoulder and his whole body instantly relaxed at your proximity, at your gentle and soothing touch. His eyes locked with yours through the monitor and you could clearly make out the gratitude, the adoration.
Yes. For a brief moment, a split second, Bucky felt better.
“I’m sorry.” You mumbled, bringing your knees closer to your chest and wrapping one arm tightly around to hold them in place. “I’m sorry this is happening. I know it’s not what you wanted, and… I know it’s now what Steve wanted.”
“Don’t apologise.” Bucky was quick to contravene.
You just shrugged, your head still resting against him. “Well, the people that made this decision, the people that should apologise most definitely won’t, and it seems like something you need to hear. A simple apology.”
He huffed lightly, once again feeling grateful he had someone like you to ground him. God, if you weren’t here… No. No. He stopped himself and shook the disturbing thoughts away. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because you were here, and you weren’t going anywhere.
He swallowed.
But he was. He had no other choice.
“I- uh… I need to go, y/n. I need to find Sam. I need to talk to him and get some answers.”
“I know.” You stated simply, however there was a detectable hint of sadness in the tone of your voice. Bucky picked up on it immediately and he shifted in his position, so that he was now looking down at you.
His gaze burned into the side of your skull, lip quivering as he searched his mind for what to say next because he hated this. Hated it came to this. And you hated it too.
You began to feel guilty. If you weren’t in his life, he wouldn’t have this problem. He wouldn’t have you to worry about. He wouldn’t need to explain himself. There would be nothing holding him back.
Fuck, you thought, life was just starting to get easier.
Swallowing the growing lump at the back of your throat, you mustered up enough courage to face him. The amiable look in his eyes caused the butterflies in your stomach to flutter momentarily.
“But you’ll come back.” It wasn’t a request. It was a fact. Corners of your lips twirled into a timid smile, yet all Bucky could focus on were the tears you were trying really hard to fight back.
Slowly, he nodded his head. How could he not come back? All you did these last few months was make him a little bit happier. He could only dream to one day return the favour, because as smart as Bucky Barnes was, he had no idea he already made you the happiest you’d ever been.
“I’ll come back.” He reassured.
“Alive.”
He chuckled softly before repeating, “Alive.”
Lifting your hand, you tenderly brushed your fingers down his cheek and across his jawline. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that he leaned into your touch. It shouldn’t have, but it did. Because as you held his face in the palm of your hand while he studied every inch of yours, the uncertainty of when you would see each other again gradually settling in, you realised you’ve never been this close to one another.
You thought perhaps you should pull back, that this was a little too close for comfort, but you found yourself unable to move. Frozen. Completely captivated by the handsome man situated in front of you.
It should have felt weird, the intimacy of the moment. It should have felt weird. Why, why didn’t it feel weird? Bucky was your neighbour. He was your friend. There was nothing else to your relationship. Nothing… more.
But as you stared deeply into his eyes, taking note of the warm expression he was presenting as he continued to scan your face, the air hitched in your throat. 
It felt natural.
Bucky sensed it too. He sensed the change in the atmosphere around the two of you. Unfamiliar, yet not unwelcoming. Quite the opposite actually. It drew him in. He found himself slowly leaning in, and like a magnet, you followed suit.
When his mouth eventually slanted over yours, your heart skipped a beat.
The kiss was gentle at first, as if Bucky was indicating you could stop him at any given time, if you wanted too. It wouldn’t take much to push him away and end this now. But you didn’t want to stop him. Instead, you closed your eyes at the desirable sensation igniting every single cell in your body.
Any boundary the two of you had previously unspokenly set was crossed, broken. However, it didn’t seem to matter to either of you.
The hand previously cupping Bucky’s cheek, was now gripping at his hair. Both of his hands were now holding your waist - not applying too much pressure, but making it known that they were there.
You wanted to comment how he very rarely touched you with his metal arm, always weary that he may somehow hurt you, and now he was latched onto you in a way that suggested he would never let you go, but his tongue wound its way between your parted lips, breaking you away from your thoughts.
After what felt like a blissful eternity, you pulled away simultaneously. Equally flushed and equally breathless. Smiling at one another like a couple of love-struck idiots.
“Hmm.. We can continue this when you’re back.” You whispered against his puffed lips, before pecking them softly.
Bucky smirked. He lifted his right arm and gently brushed loose strands of your hair behind your ear. “Don’t you worry, y/n.” He began, “Come hell or high water, I’ll definitely be back.”
-
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wenellyb · 3 years
Text
My favorite Sam Wilson moment was in TFATWS episode 6, when he said “I’m Captain America”  because we saw him finally accepting the Captain America mantle and got to see the whole process and all the moments that led up to that very moment. 
At first I was disappointed that we didn’t get to see Sam in his suit from the beginning of the show, but after watching it, I was more than happy that they did it this way. They had a whole show and took advantage of the time they had. We got to see Sam’s doubts, Sam’s struggles and also all the reasons why he would be the perfect Captain America, but they also showed us the reasons why Sam was having doubts about taking the mantle, the way Black men and women are treated in the US, the familly issues he had to deal with on top of that, and we also met Isaiah and heard his heartbreaking story. We really understood the reasons why him wondering if he should do it, because we saw what Black men before him had gone through when they had tried to serve their country. All of this made the suit reveal scene so much more emotional and impactful. And the anticipation was so worth it. i was shaking when Sam said: “I’m Captain America”, because the scene was so perfect.
My favorite Bucky Barnes moment was in TFATWS episode 5, when he hinted at wanting to stay for the night, because it marked the moment when Bucky finally decided he was done punishing himself and pushing people away. He was going to try being happy and going for what he wanted. 
Up until then, Bucky had always tried to keep people at arms length, especially Sam. He never admitted to wanting to spend time with him, following Sam because “ he didn’t trust Redwing”, coming to deliver the suit and acting like Sam had to sign something and he was just the delivery guy. Bucky keeps a distance with people, but in that scene he was the one who wanted to stay overnight, and didn’t even try to find an excuse (how there weren’t any hotel rooms available). It was almost out of character because he finally stopped pushing people away and treating them like sh*t just because he was feeling like sh*t. He just accepted that he had the right to be happy and to stay with people who make him happy and even though he doesn’t accept it completely, at least now he’s trying and was working on it.
But my favorite Sambucky moment was in Avengers: Endgame, when Sam looked at Bucky before accepting the shield, and Bucky gave him a reassuring nod, because he knew that it’s what Sam wanted.
Sambucky interactions in Endgame were just so magic, because they shared only two scenes, but both were meaningful. 
At first, Sam touched Bucky during the funeral scene, I just thought it was Anthony just stackying with Seb, but then, in the scene where Sam received the shield, and we saw how close Sam and Bucky were, it was clear that they wanted to show us how close both characters had gotten. And not close like friends who laugh and banter with each other, but close like friends who stay together and support each other in every situation.  They were doing doing everything husbands do, and nobody said anything about it.
That moment was just pure magic, 
The ship was still a small bubble, so there was only the postive, no controversies, and we had husbands! Sambucky, and their bond was undeniable. As a Sambucky shipper, that whole experience felt surreal because, you kind of ship the two but never think it will go anywhere, but then it went somewhere. Before the movie, I was only wishing we could at least see Sam and Bucky talking to each other, or shared at least one joke. But then we got them behaving like THAT. Magic.
I love that we got to see more of Sam and more of Bucky in TFATWS, but to me only a very few Sambucky scenes can compete with those few seconds in Endgame. Where we saw two men who mean the world to each other and offer mutual support to each other, whenever the other one needs it.
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nocek · 3 years
Note
Don't spare us the long rant! We want to hear your thoughts!
Oh you are going to regret this ;P
So here goes my loooooooong angry rant about Taskmaster and also the Black Widow movie in general.
Let's start with my point of comparison. Captain America the Winter Soldier was a good movie. It's still in my top 3 Marvel movies as I'm sure is for many people. And statistically speaking everybody likes Bucky. He is like the most beloved side character right after Loki. I guess.
Anyway. My point is that Taskmaster and Winter Soldier have bit for bit the exact same building blocks: hypercompetent antagonist that is a serious threat to our hero who just can't win with in one on one combat. But then plot twist: our antagonist was just a victim and puppet without free will in hands of actual villain who is bland bureaucrat.
So why did Winter Soldier worked really really well and Taskmaster was just ehh.. ok?
Well the short answer is that catws was a much tighter movie that had clearer goal (and also that goal/theme was singular: good things get corrupted with time and sometimes you get to start over) compared to black widow which had to jump through too many hoops and still somehow managed it but it wasn't as graceful as it would be if they (as in executives) resigned from one or two hoops and flips and explosions.
And I'm omitting a BIG disadvantage of making a prequel movie about a character that they killed off in shitty way. Though that created one of extra hoops for them to jump through: quickly build up Yelena as a character.
And character build they did. Because srsly Yelena is awesome and I love her. BUT. That came at a price.
Lets compare to catws. The new character there is Sam (and kiiiiiiiinda also Natasha a bit but that's a topic for a different rant) who is nowhere near as well build as Yelena. At the beginning. Because he had time to be fleshed out and naturally grow in few different movies and then we got a deep dive in the Falcon and the Winter Soldier.
But Marvel can't give Yelena few movies because she will appear in Hawkguy an Hawkeye series and also Marvel is generally dividing their assets into: outer spaaaace, down to earth heros and magic stuff (aliens, androids and wizards ;P). But also they can only create so many things in a year.
So yeah. Yelena offtopic can be summarized that I love that we have her as we have her but it came at a cost of air time of the movie.
So comparing the movies again:
Catws had the theme of good things being corrupted with time. And the theme was underlined 3 times through Peggy, Bucky and then Shield/Hydra. Which are interconnected and also make nice scale from inner conflict of the main character to the outer conflict of the movie.
In Black Widow there is the topic of the past evil that never went away and is still taking away free will from people. And again we have it shown through 3 outlets: Yelena, Taskmaster and Black Widows. But there is also whole family subplot attached to Yelena and there is Red Room attached to Black Widows. So as you can see things are getting crowded. Which in turn make the theme a bit blurry.
I mean, sure, the Red Room should be the Shield equivalent. Even it could take smaller space because good Shield turns out to be evil Hydra is generally more time consuming to explain than Red Room bad. But still combining Red Room and Black Widows make things a bit crowded.
(There is a reason why the surprise subplot of there is more Winter Soldiers was in separate movie and was kinda handwaved and cut to minimum. But they couldn't do that here).
But it's time to stop my ranting about whole Black Widow movie and focus on comparing Taskmaster and Winter Soldier.
Because to be honest both are bare bones of character and more of an carte blanche in the movie. Both have barely any screen time yet there are colossal difference which stems out of:
first introduction: as I mentioned they are hypercompetent and unstoppable threat that you can't win with, you can only hope to run away (both done equally well)
programmable killing machine:
For Taskmaster we just get a scene with her watching other heroes fighting at the screen. For the sake of building up the mystery of character we think that "he" is just watching. Maybe learning or more likely just being creepy. The information about the chip and literal programming is given to us much later in the movie which makes this scene lose the power. idk how it will work on rewatch? Maybe better? Hopefully. right now there is too many new movies in cinemas to go for a rewatch and disney+ still isn't available here -.-
For Bucky we have literal torture scene. You just can't be more blunt than that. It also hammered the next point in.
there is human behind the mask:
Winter Soldier is introduced with full face mask which he gradually loses and then we have the big reveal of not only: that's a human but also that's a human our main hero cares about deeply.
With Taskmaster they fucked up it for chap plot twist. We are learning quite late that oh snap that's Antonia (that we don't really care about) and our main hero kinda feels guilty about her.
I think the big difference is what kind of character Steve and Nat are and also the way they reveal this secret. Steve actively recognizes Bucky by himself and is very openly shocked. Nat is passively told and shown that hey, this is Antonia. And there is no time in the movie for Nat (and for us) to be shocked because that's the 3rd act and we need time for explosions and stuff.
Besides, the problem is that all the big plot twist reveals are boring on rewatch (stil big props for Pacific Rim and giving us the monster reveal in like second minute of the movie, I will never not appreciate that).
Also on related shitty note. We the audience. Bucky is handsome and vulnerable and we can drool all over him (and oh man, we the fandom did a fair share of drooling). Antonia is disfigured and not sexualized in any way. Which I'm actually grateful for but there is no pretending that doesn't make a hell lot of difference. But that's a whole different, ugly and big topic I'm not remotely qualified to write about. I'm just angry ranting here.
they don't have free will:
For Winter Soldier we have amnesia + torture tropes which to be honest have been done over and over again and it shouldn't have worked as well as it worked. Bit it did. In context of Black Widow movie it worked because it was just one guy that actively broke through brainwashing with active help of the hero.
In Black Widow there is a lot of characters that are pasively "woken up" out of mind control over and over again by active protagonist. Unfortunately the repetition kinda cheapens it. Especially in comparison to main gut punch right in the feels scene in the other movie. Which is why it's not fair to compare the two.
So lets talk about lack of free will aspect itself. To be honest the mind control aspect in Black Widow was done really great from story perspective. Evil scientists perfected it to the point it being (bit handwavey but) completely impersonal but also completely dehumanizing to the subject. So I'm buying that it can be completely switched off in equally efficient and impersonal way. Even the way they explained it with Alexei the pig was great and terrifying... to a point. Because then kicked the main problem with this movie. Clearly some execs came and saw it and went whoa... that's too dark for pg13 blockbuster. Let's put some cheap jokes here. And it happens over and over again in this movie :S
humanizing flashback scene that ties them to main hero:
For Bucky, sure we had Captain America First Avenger but a movie needs to stand on it's own legs. That's why we have the flashback scene which shows us that Bucky cared about Steve. Leaving it at the narration in Smithsonian of "best friends since childhood" would be just telling us. And we needed to be shown and we needed a space for the "till the end of line" so it could come back and stab us right in the feels.
Also because we are ignoring previous movie Russos cleverly made us care about Winter Soldier because Steve cares about Winter Soldier. And we already know and like Steve so building up our main character gives us more mileage out of new bare bones character (because let's be honest, Winter Soldier is just that). Two birds one stone thing.
In Black Widow there is no such thing which IMHO is the main reason Taskmaster doesn't work. We just get information about cardboard cutout: insert cute little girl here (only told, not even shown actual cardboard) and all of the emotional connection to Natasha is: I know that my boss that I hate has a daughter, she got in the crossfire. Which means nobody cares.
All it would take is adding a short flashback scene. idk Dreykov is an asshole and doesn't care about Antonia but she is she cutest and most adorable little girl. She treats the Black Widows as older sisters. Hell if you want to make it more horrorish copy of the idea of Thor wanting to be a Valkyrie when he grows up or T'challa wanting to be a Dora Milaje. Little Antonia wants to be Black Widow when she grows up because they are badass and they are nice to her (and are also slightly confused by her) because she is nice to them and is only person that treats them as humans. Hell we could have short interaction between her and Nat. Just a smile between them would be enough.
You could get a lot of character buildup mileage out of such a short scene.
But it couldn't happen partially because the movie didn't have time for that but we didn't get that mostly because it would show us instead of telling that Nat killed a cute little innocent girl for her own personal gain. (well she thought she was destroying Red Room but mostly wanted to get away - vide she didn't check on Yelena or other widows. But I wouldn't hold that against her. It was put your oxygen mask first kind of situation. But still it would make her look bad)
Besides, that would take guts to actually show.
And technically they could have afforded to have that guts. That was last movie with Nat anyway. It would actually make this plotline about her feeling guilty about Dreykov's daughter and red in her ledger work. But well... It was last movie so they wanted to leave us with the most goodest and bleeding hartest and heartwarming mary sue version of Nat with just telling us without showing hey, she got dark past.
On the other hand if we had the rumored Endgame plotline of Nat running an orphanage. Damn that would tie to this plotline so well. We could tie the loose widows also. Dam we were robbed here I tell ya >.<
Ok I'm overdoing offtopic about Nat. Sorry
design
So yeah. Design wise Winter Soldier is like great. For Taskmaster, she sure looks cool but also kinda generic? If in 10 years you'd show me her and say it's antagonist from GI Joe or something I'll believe you :S (not touching the debate that in comics something something because unfortunately I don't know Taskmaster from comics. Although I hear that few recent ones were quite good so I'll check them out sooner or later)
snapping out of mind control
I mentioned before. It would be unfair and there is no point comparing main emotional scene of the movie versus means to an end that were repeated several times through a movie.
Natasha freeing Antonia even if she thought that Antonia will kill her because that would fair was great. What I'm annoyed is a cheap fakeout that went with that. It was just after the bombastic finale with explosions and all the cgi shit. Even without looking at the movie runtime it was obvious there will be no extra fight scene.
In catws it worked because the cgi pew pew extravaganza was a background noise and was part of a continuous fight. In BW helicarriers fell already, there was a second of dust settling and then Nat throws away the shield (uses that capsule). Tension just fell from highest place in a movie (quite literally lol), trying to rise it again for such a short moment just doesn't work.
But that's the general problem with Marvel movies. Bombastic CGI fest as grand finale that probably is "outsourced" and then actual director comes back and needs to end movie super quickly.
disappearing act at the end
So in catws there is mystery of what will Bucky do. We are given some hope since he dragged Steve out of river and visited the museum but thats all. I mean there is this annoying Marvel thing of skipping over the interesting ending of last movie and starting with next plot point. We were hoping for the grand roadtrip/hunt for Bucky but nope. We must run ahead with all the plotlines (same way I'm sure that the Spiderman is Peter Parker and he killed a guy thing will be already dealt with in the beginning of the next movie -.-) But that's bonus mini rant.
In BW they needed to wrap up to many plot lines too quickly so Antonia wakes up and that's all. We don't get a suggestion what she may do. The problem of the chip she still has installed is omitted. There is nothing. She just fucks off to lalaland with other Black Widows the end. Because we needed ending for Nat's actual family which was ok but also kinda rushed.
As I mentioned waaaay before (god, this rant is pretty long) too many hoops to jump through.
Which really sucks because if they added that one flashback scene just for Antonia and spared few more minutes for the overall ending it would work so much more better.
And I even know where they could have saved few minutes (besides the explosions thingies). The supply guy. One extra character in a movie with too many characters. In catws the supply problem (with wings) was solved with nbd shrug. If you wanted to show that Nat has her own web of contacts it should be more than one guy. IDK in Budapest there could be 10 second scene with neighbor saying hi nice to see you again we reinforced the walls after last time. In Norway we could see her visiting some special secret supply stash run by some rando before getting to the mobile home.
But oh she was on the run so that would be too many people. Then cut the people entirely. The shitty helicopter can be worked around with joke that I'm not on speaking terms with Stark rn and that's the best we can have on short notice.
Eh.. side rant again. Sorry.
So to wrap it up. I actually really would love to see what will happen with the loose Black Widows and Antonia because here they were really underdeveloped. And while widows were more of a group hero and we have Yelena as a representative so in a way it balances out but Taskmaster needed so little extra care to make her character so much better and I'm a tiiiiiiny bit salty about it.
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romanogers-lyrics · 3 years
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TFAWS Ep 5: finally some good fucking ✨vindication✨
Scratch that rewind what I said- this is the best episode (maybe in comic book tv history). Closure, growth, and redemption 🙌 just when I was worried they wouldn’t be able to tie things up they fucking give me this 😩🤩👏✊🏽
Holy hell my poor heart died and ascended to the moon to hang out with Steve and Natasha. ✨Goddamn the mastery of storytelling in this episode is why I love the MCU so much ✨
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The opening fight between Walker, Bucky, and Sam had me on the edge of my seat. Like in most fights you know the stakes are low because the main heroes always win but this fight... whew it was consequential and more personal than the civil war fight imo. I genuinely was worried about the outcome for Sam and Bucky physically and emotionally. Every beat was character driven! This was cathartic. 🙌 the stunt coordinators knocked it out of the park lovelovelove 💕.
“I am captain America” homie you giving me Gollum vibes. “It’s (the shield) MINE!” Like-
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So many creative stunts with the wings!!!
Bucky and Sam working TOGETHER
BUCKY DROPPING THE SHIELD AT SAM’S FEET 😭
The golden light seeping into the frame at the end of the fight 🤌🏼
Sam wiping the blood off the shield. 🥲 I can’t even articulate but it makes me feel-
Sammy’s wings got snapped off and he eventually left them with Torres (passing the mantle?) which symbolizes Sam growing out of his old super hero role. It was cleansing. He’s ready to be more. He’s ready to take action rather than let things happen to him 👏
Baby boy Torres trying to talk to Mr Bucky 🥺. You have both sleeves today Mr Bucky sir 💕
I want no I NEED 😫Torres to fly in with the wings next episode.
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How we feeling about Walker?? On the one hand I feel him. Us gov did him dirty but at the same time he made the choices he made. Maybe there is room for redemption? Idk... 🙃 or will he continue to get worse?
I am SO glad that Sam went back to talk to isaiah. He needed to know the full story. He needed closure. I could ramble on and on but the writers made the points so much better than I could but just-
Steve did the exact same thing as Isaiah in the first avenger. He went behind enemy lines to rescue Bucky- without permission! He was a hero for it. And Isaiah was thrown in jail? The double standard is so frustrating
I think Isiah’s point that “no self respecting black man” would use the shield makes sense with his background and story. It makes me sick what was done to him. Things really haven’t changed 😞. At this point I honestly wasn’t sure what Sam was going to do. More later on about this-
Zemo’s theme is so beautiful every time I hear it. 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼
What a beautiful scene. Cinematography 💯 Such a great moment between Bucky and Zemo. Zemo fully expects to die and then Bucky does the one thing zemo didn’t expect- the one thing he wasn’t “programmed” to do. Fuuuuuckcjfkekxn
“I crossed my name off in your book” 😭. He obviously grew to respect Bucky and wants him to have peace at last with all the civil war stuff.
Ayo back to calling Bucky white wolf 🐺 love to see it.
The kids playing with the shield and tracing the star has me CRYING. Kids are our hope and they still see something special in the shield. They still believe in it. 😭 such a small moment completely floored me.
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Wholesome boat fix up 🥺. I feel like this is the montage where SamBucky fall in love 😂
When Sarah and Sam are talking about the boat- how it is their history- I think again of Isaiah. His history was erased. Sam has to preserve his history ✊🏽
Sarah is a goddamn queen and I Stan 🤌🏼✨
The montage was just a sip of cool water in the desert of trauma that is the MCU.
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OKEEEE the conversation between Sam and Bucky where they’re tossing the shield is great on so many levels 😍:
Physically the shield matches the dynamic of the convo. Someone makes a point and throws it. Someone accepts what that person said and catches the shield. Bucky physically offers the shield when he says “I’m sorry” and Sam accepts the shield AND the apology.
The difference between avenging and amending. I was surprised they even used that word bc it calls out the avengers for maybe not doing the emotional work involved in being a hero. Healing is part of the hero job now. #phase4
A small detail but as a person of color I valued it; when Bucky said I’m sorry Sam did not say “it’s okay” or “no worries” because he didn’t have to, I feel like as a POC I’m always making white people feel better and for once I’d like to be confident enough to just accept someone’s apology outright and know I deserve it.
Pivotal when Sam said “it doesn’t matter what Steve thought” at first I was like biiiihhh??! 😠 but he had a point. Both Sam and Bucky have been trying to do hold onto another person who is gone. They gotta heal but more importantly they have to find their own reasons to keep fighting.
The training montage 🤌🏼🙌🤩🥲🥺😭✊🏽. Like FEED ME YEs WE ARE EATiNG. Sammy deserves it all
Sam’s cap theme music is similar to Steve’s but still different. Goddamn so beautiful 💕💕😩
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Sam has been pretty passive in this show- almost wanting confirmation he did the right thing. Isaiah didn’t give Sam that comfort but neither did Bucky at first. Sam had to make his own choice 😤✊🏽
It’s a heavy burden to be cap knowing all the shit that has come before but Sam is the only one who can make that decision to be or not to be. And he’s seen the alternative now. In life taking action and taking control of our situation is empowering but always harder than doing nothing. He says it best- what’s the point of all that struggle if you’re not going keep on fighting ✊🏽🥺 I love and respect Sam so much 😭 spoken like captain America! 👏
Show me the suit you COWARDS I WANNA SEe
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Goddamnit damnit to hell... I need to SEE IT
Is Sharon setting a trap for Karli???
🚨 end credit: I’m not sure if they are making an iron man comparison. What do you guys think?
Ready for the showdown throwdown next week 👀
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All in all it was fucking wild ya’ll and I felt catharsis watching this and so fucking hopeful. I cry 😭
Please feel free to share any thoughts you have about this episode💕
there’s so much in this show that is world building within mcu but also in greater conversations about heroism and power. It is a moral re evaluation of the superhero. Malcom Spellman being head writer you know this shit is not happenstance it is intentional. The took the long road and it totally paid off in this episode 😭
🙇🏻‍♀️ I am emotionally manipulated by this show 🙇🏻‍♀️
Huge shout out to all the cast and crew for making something both respectful to the lore but also challenging it to be better 🙌
My ep 4 review:
Tag list: @soliloquy-of-nemo
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millers-planet · 3 years
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The Vice and the Virtue - Part Two
Pairing: Helmut Zemo x GN!Reader (later established as F following more parts)
A/N: this isn’t my best work. i don’t entirely know where to take this series, ngl.
POV: Reader
Warnings: Fluff. Use of “Y/N”. Angst. Brief desc of gore.
Words: 2.1k
Description: How does one live a life of virtue when past vices begin arising after a successful jailbreak with untied ends?
part one
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“Are you serious?” I can’t believe he’s doing this. The second he gets back, too. It makes me question the real value of me to him, if my presence is of any substantial worth. I know that he thinks higher of me, but right now I’m having a hard time believing that.
He sighed and looks back to me, away from him new buddies, “you know why I have to go. I already explained this.” By this point, he’s talking to me as if I am a child, and I am having none of it. 
“I know why you’re going and I get that, it’s not what I have a problem with. You aren’t letting me come with you.” I tried to take a step to him, but he backed away, really emphasizing my doubt. “Fine. You left once and didn’t come back for 5 plus years, I’m sorry I don’t want to sit here and wonder when you’re gonna be back again or wonder if I’m going to have to finally move on.” I really didn’t want to have to pull this card, especially in front of his friends, but I will be damned before he walks out that door without me. 
Zemo dropped his bags and closed the gap between us, putting his hands on cheeks, knowing it comforts me. “You’re right,” his voice got softer and more warm, “I didn’t think of it that way when I probably should of. I was only wrapped up in the possibility of you getting hurt.” He placed a small kiss on my forehead and nodded towards out bedroom, “you should go pack, and quickly.”
With a furrow of my eyebrows and pushing my lips into a frown, I snarkily replied, “you do realize I was listening to your conversations last night? I already have a bag packed.” With a quick rush, I grabbed my bag that was resting on the edge of the bed. 
As everyone was checking their rooms to make sure they grabbed everything, or clarifying one thing or another, Bucky walked up to me. “If you want, I can carry your bag for you, you keep adjusting your shoulder strap.” 
With a small smile, I handed him my bag. “Thank you, I really appreciate that.” For some reason, I was thinking previously that Bucky was a middle ground of Zemo and Sam, sarcastic and a little cold, but he seems really sweet. It makes me think that chivalry isn’t completely dead.
Taking a seat next to Zemo on the plane, with Bucky and Sam sitting across from us, the deafening engines began, only muffled as the door sealed itself shut. I don’t remember the last time I was on a plane, let alone on one with him. We used to go quite often on little vacations, dates, or getaways, but stopped once he got busy with ‘work’. Either way, it was nice to be back on one with him, despite the circumstances.
Sam and Bucky looked very uncomfortable, taken aback when people came and served us nearly whatever we wanted. Bucky gave me worried glances when people came up to him and asked him strange questions, to which I helped him out. Zemo and I, on the complete opposite spectrum, got right at home. 
A watched him pull out a small book inside another, one that I didn’t recognize. “I’m fascinated by this, I don’t know what to call it but this part seems to be important. Who is... Nakajima?” Before I could question anything, everything switched around. Sam was reaching out, Bucky was lashing forward, and Zemo had a hand around his throat. 
With a small mumble, Bucky spoke, “if you touch that again I’ll kill you,” and returned swiftly to his seat. Everything fell quiet and tense, with Zemo glaring at Bucky and him staring at the window, plus Sam just eyeing the two of them. I pulled my knees up to my chest and tried to ignore the rest of the conversation.
All I heard were conversations about Steve, ice, and writing stuff down in the notebook. 
“I like 40′s music.” Bucky’s voice was irritated and drained of emotion.
That was, until, I chimed in with “what do you think about Sinatra?”
Bucky shrugged, “A little past my time. I was too busy being brainwashed to really get into him. Have you listened to anything by Nat King Cole?”
I instantly lit up, it was so nice being able to talk to someone about something light-hearted. “Only a few songs, but they were really good.”
“So, you didn’t like Marvin Gaye?”
“I liked it, Sam.” Bucky just responded emptily back to him
“It’s a masterpiece, James-” Zemo began shortly, until I interrupted
“-It’s complete, comprehensive. It captures the African-American experience.”
Same looked a the two of us. “He’s out of line, and she’s just smart, but they’re both right. Everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”
Bucky kept the dead tone, “I already said I liked Marvin Gaye.”
“Steve adored Marvin Gaye.”
From there, the three of them went on about Steve. I knew brief things about him but I was never caught up in the superhero world. All I understood was that his name was Steve Rogers and that he is Captain America, a super soldier, who was besties with Sam and Bucky.  Other than that, I didn’t really care about this Steve guy or the Avengers in general, it doesn’t sit right with me knowing the conflicts Zemo has had with them.
It was slightly cool out with the rain just about to pass through, along with the open bridge and river allowing for more cool air to travel. Changing out of a t-shirt and jeans into a thin-ass top with matching black thin-ass leggings made the air seem ten times as cold. 
I walked in between Sam and Zemo, wrapped up in his heavy coat and arm loosely wrapped around my waist. “Only an American would think a fashion-forward Black man looks like a pimp, you’re fitting in nicely with your alias,” Zemo’s hand dropped from me and handed his phone to Sam. “A sophisticated man nicknamed the Smiling Tiger.”
Sam just sighed. “He even has a bad nickname. But,” he looked closer at the phone, “he sure does look like me.” Zemo took the phone back and returned his arm around me. “Is that acid?”
“Madripoor.” His voice became clearer and dropped. “Whatever you do, we must stay in character, there is no margin for error, our lives depend on it. Over there is High Town, not a bad place if you want to visit. Low Town is the other way.”
“Let me guess, we don’t have any friends in High Town?” 
I stopped dead in my track as the car came forward. “Oh you have got to be kidding me.” Everyone turned to stare at me. “Look at that car, who the hell is sitting in the middle of the backseat, I know for damn sure it isn’t me.” I walked forward and sat in one of the window seats in the back as Zemo chuckled and got in the front.
Sam and Bucky exchanged nervous glances, until they began shoving each other like from the other day. As the back door opened, I raised my voice to them, “HEY! If you guys want to fight over middle seat, play rock, paper, scissors. I’m not gonna deal with the two of you bickering the whole time. Best out of three, on ‘shoot’.”
They mumbled the saying each time. First, Sam won. Second, Bucky. Third, Bucky again.
Sam groaned like a child, “Man! I hate this.”
I was hyper-aware of everything going on. Specifically, how many people were staring at me. It was just me with three other men going into a bar full of other men and few women. It’s suffice to say I was uncomfortable, especially since Zemo took his jacket back, so I couldn’t hide away into it. But the quiet mumbles of “is that the Winter Soldier?” put my mind slightly at ease.
The bartender looked taken aback by Sam’s approach. “I wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.”
Zemo entered quickly, “his plans changed. We have business to do... with Selby.”
“The usual?” Sam replied with a small nod, only to regret it--in his eyes--once everyone saw the eel come out. I had to cover my hands with my mouth to not gag as he took the shot, only for a disapproving look to follow from the bartender.
A hand was place on my shoulder and I instinctively turned around, Zemo following quickly. It was some strange man, “got word from on high, you ain’t welcome here.
“I have no business with the Power Broker. But, if he insists, he can come talk to me or...” he motion to Bucky, “bring Selby for a chat.” The man then took that as his cue to leave.
I turned around, back to the bar, and pushed myself closer to Zemo. “When can we get out of here? When can we meet Selby?”
“Soon,” he muttered, until a hand was placed on his shoulder this time, leading to a glance back to Bucky and a command in Russian.
Buckys metal hand met the stranger, throwing him into the ground. Other followed to him quickly, but the ‘Winter Soldier’ took them out without drop of sweat. Following a broken table and someone being kicked into it, another guy walked up next to us, which seemed like a problem until Zemo pushed him to Bucky, who took care of him. His metal arm wrapped around the throat of another, pushing him into the bar, the sound of guns cocking filling the silence.
“Selby will see you now.”
“You’re taller than I heard, Smiling Tiger,” Selby  slowly raised her eyes up to Sam, who kept his face stiff and only spared her a look for a second. She rolled her tongue and focused herself onto me, as I stood behind Zemo’s chair. “You, I don’t think I’ve seen or heard of you. Come here! Take a seat,” she patted the oddly patterned couch as smiled crookedly up at me. As soon as I sat down she pulled me close and let my hair fall into her hand, “I don’t know how he got you to on his hip, what does he pay you?” Her voice was just a loud enough whisper to let everyone interpret, intentionally.
Zemo cleared his throat and stood up, “perhaps we should get back to the deal. I will give you the Winter Soldier,” he motioned to Bucky who kept his face straight, “along with the words to operate him, of course. Only, if you give me information I desire.”
She laughed and let me go, “that’s the Zemo I remember, you were right to come to me. Arrogant, but right.” Selby shifted more to him and let her head fall into her hand. “The serum is in Madripoor, with Doctor Nagel you can thank or condemn. He was making it for the Power Broker until things didn’t go as planned.”
“Is Nagel still in Madripoor?” 
“Aww,” she stood up and slowly inched her way toward Zemo. “The bread crumbs you can have for free but the bakery is going to cost you, Baron. And don’t think you can find Nagel without me, either.” Selby opened her mouth to speak, until a phone buzzing interrupted her.
Everyone’s face dropped, except for Selby, who’s lit up with excitement. “Go on, answer it... on speaker.” Zemo’s eyes met mine, when he carefully mouthed, “it’ll be fine.”
“Hello?” Sam forced himself cool, maintaining a flat voice.
“Hey so this situation has got me thinking, about the boat and the bank.” It was a feminine voice on the other end of the phone.
“Ah, the bank.. we laundered so much money.” He glanced around and was clearly anxious by this point. “Yeah, they’ll come around.”
“If that was the case, then why’d they dog you out Big Time?” Sam’s face dropped to the cool look again, realizing the other person caught onto the gig, until the phone erupted with, “hey! What did I say about those Cheerios? Sam, I’ll call you back.”
Selby furrowed her eyebrows together and glanced around the room. “Who is Sam? Kill them-” her sentence ended as a bullet puncture through her and body collapsed on the floor. The two standing men were taken out by Bucky and Sam, as Zemo ran to me. 
My hand flew over my mouth as I stared at the body. “Is she? She was just-” I quickly started hyperventilating, it was so sudden and I’ve never watched someone die before. “Zemo, she’s dead, oh my god.”
He pulled me into his chest and stood me up, hold me tightly and leading us toward the door. “It will be alright, just focus on me.” He stopped and looked around the room, trying to figure out the plan. “Leave your weapons and follow my lead, we have a real problem now.”
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annebaneriddle · 3 years
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Ok, now that's something that's comming from someone who loves Sam with all of her heart: why are some of you guys so pissed about when Bucky said "If he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me"? Because if you think that it was about Bucky trying to belittle Sam's feelings, you lost the point of that scene.
There are a lot of reasons why Sam would have given away the shield: he thought more about it and decided he didn't want all the weight and responsabolities that comes with the shield's legacy (what would be completely understandable, since Steve threw that responsability on him suddenly, without any warning and without ASKING if he wanted it), he felt as he was not ready for that yet (what, again, would be understandable), he felt that having a new Captain America so soon after Steve's "death" would be wrong, he felt that people wouldn't accept a black Captain America (and I'm almost sure that Bucky not even considerated that one, because that man can pretend to hate Sam, but he clearly likes him and thinks the world of him. I bet that he sees Sam as someone who isn't scared about anything and, after what Sam did back in CW, as someone who doesn't care about what people will think about him as long as he is doing the right thing).
Bucky hasn't seen Sam for some months, he has no idea about why Sam gave away the shield and he doesn't have how to guess the reason, so he is trying to understand. He asked Sam, Sam didn't tell why, and he is still trying to understand. He went through a lot of things that made him question his worth as a person, that made him question if he was worthy to fight for. Now, Steve, the most important person to him, has just left him to go back to a girl he barely knew, just kissed once and with who he had no idea if their relationship would really work. He was literally left for a "maybe" (and don't come with the "but he knew what Steve was going to do" bullshit. What he was going to do? Tell Steve that he couldn't go and that he had to stay?), and that for sure hurt him more than he is showing and made him question his worthyness even more.
As I said, he thinks the world of Sam, Sam is one of the best people he ever knew, and Steve is the best character judging he ever knew. Steve gave the shield to Sam because he knew Sam was a good man.
Now think about that: Bucky has been strugling on healing since he came back, he is having nightmares, Steve left him, the date he had reminded him that he killed the son of the man he befriended, John Walker being named the new Captain America and talking all of that bullshit on the TV as if Steve and him were close friends, him having to go back to the fight when all he wanted was peace, the talk with Isaiah reminding him of his past and making him question if he can ever stop being what Hydra turned him into, and being arested because he lost that therapy session.
Bucky.is.on.his.limit!
He is more stressed than any human being should ever be, he is questioning everything on his life and his therapist is disturbing him more than helping with the way she treats him and his struggles (and don't come with the "But she is perfect to him" bullshit. None therapist should ever treat a patient that way. All the real therapists that I saw talking about her said she is a horrible therapist). He has been bottling his emotions and soon or later, him wanting or not, they were going to come out one way or another as either a verbal attack a physical attack or a break down, and when he reached that limit, Sam was the one on the way.
That wasn't Bucky belittling Sam's emotions. That was James Buckanan Barnes reaching his limit. You can see that by the way his voice broke while he was talking, by the pain on his eyes, by the way him himself seemed surprised by that sudden explosion.
You wanted Bucky dealing with his trauma? There it is, so why are you mad? That was a realistic reaction, not the kind of reaction that you read on fanfic.
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habaritess · 3 years
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I feel like we're watching different shows. the only episode I felt like it wasn't sam centric was the 3rd one and that I can comprehend because at the end of the day there are two people in the title but the other 3 have definitely been sam centric. he's the one who's gotten more screen time, I agree that we need to see him showing other emotions but also in the last episode we saw him getting angry. I must say I dont agree with the last paragraph,almost everyone of us loved that talk with karli
Let me explain what I mean by good character development. As of now, we have not gotten good character development from Sam. I’ll do that by comparing him to Bucky and Walker.
Bucky is a man who is in the midst of healing from his traumatic past as the Winter Soldier. He does so by doing both healthy(therapy) and potentially unhealthy methods( befriending the father of the son he killed to applease his guilt). He decides to go with Sam on his mission and while doing so, he has to confront more of his demons in the form of Zemo. In order to fool the crowd, Bucky had to pretend to be the Winter Soldier and while doing so, potentially ruining some of the progress he has made over the years. As the mission goes on, Bucky completely abandons the list of rules he must abey by, and he ends up seriously harming and possibly killing some of the people he is fighting. 
Walker is introduced as an experience soldier who has been given the title of Captain America, something he takes seriously and wants to live up to in any way he can. While following Sam and Bucky, he becomes exposed to people he has never dealt with before, which are people with super human abilities. His weakness against these super soldiers becomes a sore spot for Walker because as much as he wants to be the hero, he can not go toe to toe with these super soldiers. This new insecurity and the former avengers disregard of him, causes him to become more quick to anger and act more irrationally. Walker gets hold of a serum and sees the potential to become someone like the original Captain America, someone who is capable. He chooses to take the serum after fighting against the superior but still fully human, Dora Milaje. Walker physical weakness, to him, goes against what a Captain America should be. To Walker, Captain America is the kind of hero who can face any challenge and save lives, and he cant save lives if he cant go against the best human fighters. After taking the serum and being confronted with the death of his best friend, Walker allows his insecurities and anger to overtake him and kill a pleading man in broad daylight..
Sam Wilson choses to give up the shield up due to his own conflicting feelings on America and what the shield represents. He is sent out on another dangerous mission and during this mission, he teams up with Bucky. Sam fights the bad guys who are super soldiers. Bucky decides to help break out Zemo, which Sam begrudgingly goes along with it. Sam is there as support, keeps Bucky under control, and tries to solve the conflict without violence. Now what the difference with Sam and Bucky and Walker? Sam, as of now, hasn’t had any development. He hasn’t had any development because he has not had to face anything that actually challenges him. Yes, Sam is put on another dangerous mission, but that isn’t anything new for Sam. Even if you just watch TFAWT and not the pervious movies, in the beginning it shows Sam on a dangerous mission as he tries to rescue some men from terrorists. There isn’t anything about this new mission that is made to specifically challenge Sam. It difficult as any of his past missions, but it not personally difficult. We see the same Sam that we saw on episode one and guys, that is REALLY problematic. 
Note how Bucky not only had to confront Zemo, but he also had to pretend to be the winter soldier, confront the traumas of his past, and anger the very people who helped him out of this state by releasing Zemo, and potentially severing ties with the people who had his back. Note how these were all very personally challenging for Bucky and see how as the story progresses, Bucky evolves with it. Walker is faced with becoming the new captain america, fighting an enemy that is far beyond normal human capabilities for the first time, and dealing with the insecurities that come with his unfamiliar helplessness in this situation. What exactly has Sam been challenge with? Sam has been able to skirt any development because everything is familiar to him already. Dangerous gunfights and battles, yep, Sam been involve in it. Sam uses his skills as a veteran therapist to calm down Bucky and hopefully lead Karli to a more humane way to voice her grievances. What has specifically challenge Sam throughout this storyline? Nothing has, as of yet. This is why Sam is falling flat to me( and a lot of other people too if you pay attention to who people are actually talking about when it comes to this series). This shouldn’t be for the titled character. This is how you get a boring character. 
Bucky actions have reactions. He deals with the consequences and he is growing as a result. He is moving the story along and progressing along with it. Bucky is the main character. He has progressed well in all four episodes. Sam has only had 2 good episodes, than he been stagnant for the rest. It was Bucky who decided to break out Zemo on episode 3. it is Bucky who had to confront his demons on episode 3. Sam used his awesome social skills to calm Bucky down and made a promised to Sharon, but nothing happened in episode 3 that actually challenged his character. In episode 4, Sam does what he usually does. He talks to Karli. Yeah, that's good and all, but it still not a challenge for his character. It is more of the same. If Sam doesn't face anything that actually challenges him personally, than he will continue to remain a one note side kick character like in the previous movies.
Just because a character has a personality, does not make them a developed character. Imagine the Lord of the Rings, but Frodo doesn’t go through anything challenging at all and he stays the same person from the start of the series, to the end. Imagine a Harry Potter where it just Harry going to Hogwarts with nothing happening at all, and Harry is the exact same person from the start of the year to the last. That is Sam right now. That is so many fictional black characters actually. They can make a black character with personality but when it comes to good character development, all of sudden they don’t know how to do it. 
As far as his talk with Karlie, I’m just going to agree to disagree. The girl is a terrorist who blew up a building full of people. Why try to negotiate when the only future for her legally would be behind a jail cell? I would agree with you if she hadn’t of killed people, but she did. What, was Sam going to let her go if she chose to go a different path? It doesn’t make sense narratively speaking. Karlie has already reached the point of no return by killing people, so why would she be open to talking it out?
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waywardimpalawriter · 3 years
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Could you do a Bucky/Reader fic for 16 on the smut prompts?
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The intimacy of shaving
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader, Sam Wilson x Reader
Bucky Bingo Square: New haircut square
Characters: Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Sarah Wilson
Setting: three months after the end of Falcon and the Winter Soldier
Rating: M (Mature), E (explicit), NSFW, +18 only please
Warnings: fluff, angst, bickering, smut, oral female receiving, yearning, pining, unrequited love, smutty dreams, broken bones, mention of torture, Bucky’s old memories,
Word count: 10,800
Summary: Frustrated with being left behind, worry taking hold after finding out just a fraction of how bad your boys are. Making you start to search your feeling's for both men. Especially with the intimacy of giving Bucky a hair cut and shave. Unexpected emotions surface on all parts.
Notes: Sequel too “My own worse enemy," filling in a bingo square for #buckybingo and also an Anon request asking for smut prompt #16 “I’m going to die if you don’t let me cum.” Hope you don't mind me adding Sam into the mix sweetie. Also for my head cannon Sam uses Delacroix LA for his base of operation. Wanting to help take care of his family while taking on the mantle of Captain America. Hope you enjoyed doll.
Tag list’s: Are open
@buckybingo
Forever’s: @jedi-mando @chickensarentcheap
Bucky Barnes list: @learisa @eclipses-and-moondust
Story list: @sammyissassy @feelmyroarrrr
Wearing a path from the kitchen to living room ignoring Sarah’s stare, thumb nail damn near nibbled to the bed with how much your chewing the poor abused finger. Cell phone pressed to your ear, listening to Sams deep baritone, “What’d ya mean three places Samuel? How the f-ing hell did you both managed to get so banged up?”
“Explanations will roll out once we touch down Y/N for now know at least he didn’t break his funny bone that’s still none existence,” glancing towards Bucky stretched out over the metal helo bench. Right arm in a sling snug to his body, thick plaster cast covering from mid bicep to mid palm, fingers still visible.
“I heard that and I do to have a sense of humor just not your brand of stupid jokes bird brain,” deep voice unmistakably Bucky’s catching a wobble in the cadence not there when last they spoke.
Swiping a hand over your face wanting to kill them both for leaving you behind. Plans to do just that forming in your mind while snarking, “Remind me again why exactly you chose to leave me behind?”
Staying home you could’ve possibly worked with, the unknown danced on your nerves more than you’d give credit to. Having grown even closer to both men over the last six months, always brushing those pesky feelings and thoughts away that surface during weak moments of worry or sleep.
“To dangerous and I’m not arguing with you on those semantics it’s bad enough cyborg got the shit beaten out of him,” quickly pulling the phone from his ear at the high pitched sound from down the line. Forgetting a moment your attachment to both men, “You finished?”
Low growl in answer, biting off the curses you wish to fling at both Captain America and the Winter Soldier. “Don’t worry you’re in for it once you get home. ETA?” Checking the watch strapped to your left wrist, “I’ll come pick y’all up, gotta stop in town for supplies anyway.”
“No worries my trucks at base I’ll get Buck and myself home.” Glancing at his watch, “Landing in about two hours, think you can grab a couple of Miss Bridgette’s pecan pies?”
Too many years working with that man not to know what he likes, “For the shit you and Barnes pulled get your own pie man.” Soft chuckles lets you know Sarah heard you. Eyes locking with her’s for a moment seeing the worry in those warm browns matching as you knew in your own. “Just bring you asses home so Sarah and I can roast them.”
Almost feeling the deep groan from over the phone line, “What did you tell her?”
“Nothing since that’s what I got,” shaking head tips to the side picking up on Sam’s easy breathing and the helo’s engines in the back ground. “Just get home dumbass,” affection in your tone. Ending the call, slipping the cell into your front pocket to flop down into the worn out but still comfortable couch.
“They get hurt?” Anxiety tainting her voice from across the room.
Peeking through your fingers at her, dropping them to your thighs to run the length of denim covered skin, “Don’t know really, Sam sounds fine but a concussion or another type of head injury wouldn’t show it’s self right away. From what I did gather they finished up the mission a little over four hours ago, in flight for the last two.”
“What about Bucky?” Meeting your eyes having confided in her years ago about the crush harbored for a certain metal armed ex-assassin turned Cap’s left hand man. Always leaving out the other part of your secret crush. “Speaking of which you ever gonna tell them how you feel?”
“Busting chops about that again Sarah?” Exasperated sigh marches passed barely parted lips, “Something’s broke in three places that’s all Sam ‘Stubborn ass’ Wilson would say. Just not which one of them or what body part exactly.” Firmly ignoring her last question and not picking up on the fact she said them instead of him. To stand hands to hips, leaning back to stretch and possibly pop your spine. “I’m going to town you wanna come or need anything.”
“And you call Sam stubborn,” head shaking with a fond smile tipping her lips upward. Picking up the subtle shift in your demeanor as relief floods your system with knowing they're coming home at least safe. Having guessed your feelings for her older brother not long ago however, keeping that little tidbit to herself. “I’ll come with, give you company and grief along the way. The boy’s won’t come home till later anyway.”
Eyes roll you reach for the car keys on the coffee table, patting your back pocket to check for wallet and the front for cell phone. “Ready to roll?”
Hour and a half later arms loaded with grocery bags, making sure to hide Miss Bridgette’s pie’s from Sam, you and Sarah set to work putting everything away. Setting to work fixing dinner efficiently dancing around each other like a well oiled machine working together in tandem getting each task done. Back door quietly trying to open, Sam poking his head around the well loved oak wood door. Showing a face littered with cuts, a busted bottom lip and dark shadow of a black eye around his left. But his smile still widens flashing pearly whites at seeing the two of you. Entering, Sam places a large locking suit case and round leather carry case not far from the door.
Soft gasp leave’s Sarah’s lips, quickly moving towards her brother to look him over, “You were ugly before now it’s just worse bro.”
Snort existed through his nose, stepping fully into the house with a limp on his right side, accepting the hug she gives him carefully. “You should see the other guy.”
“I’m the other guy,” voice slightly strained but still light almost playful unlike the Bucky of months ago. Though seeing him coming around Sam, arm cradled close in a black cloth sling. Peeks of plaster noticeable making you groan, head shaking at the very sight of him. Assortment of bruises littered his face, his own busted lip, and a three inch cut circling just above his collarbone. Seeing the storm brewing in your eyes, “No we didn’t fight and Sam didn’t cause these wonderful souvenirs.”
“Stupid ass got captured, wouldn’t listen to my plan…”
“You didn’t have a plan Sam not a logistical one…”
“Oh, so you bulldozing in like a raging bull in a China shop worked so well. Who got capture?” Pressing a finger behind his ear to lift the shell listening for Bucky’s answer. “I’m sorry I can’t hear you. You’re gonna say you right Robo soldier cause that’s the correct answer.”
Exasperated with them both, “Shut it and sit down dinner’s ready. I swear the two of you fight worse than Cass and AJ.” Authority ringing through Sarah’s tone cutting eyes at both men.
“Oh sweetheart Cass and AJ have nothing on these two bone heads, more maturity in their little bodies than both of them put together.” Rubbing your temples trying to fend off the building migraine behind your eyes. “Listening to constant bickering I wanna put them in a ‘Get along shirt.'”
Scowl in place while giving them a full once over. Cataloguing the damage you could see and wondering about that which you couldn’t. Noticing the length of Bucky’s hair almost a shaggy just falling a little over his ears and brushing the collar of the black t-shirt he’s wearing. Full beard dusting his cheeks and chin reminding you of those days long gone back in Wakanda. In contrast to Sam’s neatly kept mustache and goatee, close cropped haircut smartly framing his handsome face. Looking much like the day he and Bucky left three months ago on their reconnaissance mission. Knowing better as looks deceive and clothes cover up places eyes can’t see without stripping them naked. The very thought peeking interest but pushing those thoughts back with a frown. Of course it doesn’t stop you from wanting to hug them both mindful of injures unseen that brings a scowl to your features.
“You wouldn’t?” Traces of fear slicing through those deep russet browns. “I thought you loved me Y/N?”
Speaking over Sam, “What’s a ‘Get along’ shirt?”
Caught between wanting to roll her eyes and chuckle, “It’s a big shirt we’d put the two of you in till ya stop bickering like children and actually get along.” Dishing up dinner, Sarah looks towards both men. Trying hard not to burst out laughing at the sour look on Sam’s face nor the still slightly confused one on Bucky’s.
“I see smoke coming from his ears,” snarky quip receiving a back handing smack to his arm.
Bowel’s placed at the table, “Aim for the head next time Sar.” Taking the seat on Sam’s right offering him a cheekily smile, “Might actually knock the few brain cells he has left around and jump start the hamster running the wheel.”
“You both wound me,” clutching his chest dramatically. “With friends and family like this who can you trust.”
“Dramatic’s must come with handling the shield,” cerulean eyes rolling edged with teasing tone. Glancing towards Sam first then you beside him, going to explain for Sarah’s benefit. “Steve could put on some high melodrama back in the day. Much like Samuel here.” Scratching at his chin with vibranium fingers, a low hiss only you catch sounds when the plates catch the little hairs.
Scoffing, “Only Sarah calls me that first off, second look who’s talking Mr. Bionic Staring machine scaring off everyone who comes within two feet. Dramatics run through your veins just as well. ”
“Children,” both women exclaim hands coming down to slam the table at the same. Before time digging into dinner as the back door opens with Cass and AJ storming inside with excited chatter upon seeing both Sam and Bucky.
Each asking about what happened, how’d the mission go and why exactly Bucky’s sporting a sling and cast. All questions peeking the interested of both women with brows raised and narrowed eyes.
“Settle in first and eat dinner,” Sam intones wanting to keep most of what happened from his family. “For the most part the mission went successful.”
Very unladylike snort leaves your nose hidden behind a glass of sweet tea you sip from, “At least you came back in one piece or three in someone’s case.” Eyes narrow even farther on Bucky who has the good graces to look sheepish and divert his eyes.
“But the super serum why didn’t it help like that,” AJ snapped his little fingers for emphasis on the quickness the serum should work or so he thinks.
“Doesn’t quiet work that way AJ,” Bucky starts running a hand through his longer than usual hair. Giving a short frustrated tug before returning to the topic at hand. “Yeah the serum helps speed up the healing process it’s not instantaneous and,” pausing to side eye you not wanting to admit there’s more injures than just his arm.
Scowl returning having a feeling you know why he’s paused in explaining, “Takes longer to heal when multiple injures are involved.”
Dinner finishes with other questions, skirting the full truth about the mission, discussing the coming week with work and school. Sam’s boyish smile appears when Sarah brings out the pie, cutting out slices to pass around with Reddi-whip, coffee for the adults, milk for the kids. Silence settles for a moment the enjoyment of pie more important to savor and only once done do you raise to start cleaning up.
“I’ll,” shooting Sarah a look with a shake of your head.
“You got paperwork to catch up on babe I’ve got this, besides Sam volunteered to help. Didn’t you Sam?” Shooting a look his way, clearly speaking volumes if the answer comes back no.
Brow arched in question but thought better then to ask, though he flips the script on you, “Of course, Bucky volunteer’s.” Quickly moving away from the hand threatening to land a hard punch to his right thigh. Almost toppling to the floor in his hast to move Sam tweaked his hip a twinge of pain slicing through his features.
“Serves you right Wilson,” thought a slice of regret skates across your thoughts. Head shaking you stand gathering plates as the boys excuse themselves to play video games.
“Homework first or I’m taking those games away,” Sarah yells after them looking in your direction for a second. “You got these two?” Pointing at each of them in turn with her own frown dropping her lips downward.
“Sadly yes,” exasperation clearly written in the rigidness of you stance and narrowing to slits of your eyes. “Blissfully unaware or want to know everything?”
“Unaware I’m just happy their back whole,” nodding Sarah takes her leave, heading for the home office.
Times flown, six months in fact since Karli’s death and Sam taking over the mantle of Captain America. Going above and beyond to change how the worlds become and see’s the shield. Using Delacroix as home base to keep himself grounded and around for his family. Surprisingly enough including you and Bucky the house feels a touch over crowded but wouldn’t want things any different.
“Care to explain what that means?” Limping with hands full towards the sink, Sam places his arm load down watching you move around the kitchen. Putting leftovers up, setting to work on the dishes, the familiarity you exude warms a place in Sam’s heart. Always pushing those thoughts from his mind, your his best friend and wouldn’t see him in any other way. Especially with your heart firmly filled with Bucky.
Giving your back to both men and only acknowledging their presence when Bucky comes over with a bowel. “Thanks,” leaves your lips with a nod.
“We’re sorry for leaving you behind Y/N, but Sam and I agreed things were to dangerous neither of us wanted you to get hurt,” trying to reason Bucky leans his back against the counter beside you. Tugging once again at his too long hair that gets slightly tangled in the plates of his fingers.
“You actually agreed on something?” Catching his actions, your head shakes grabbing for the towel to dry soapy hands and help with his dilemma. “Instead you both come back looking like train wreck’s all beaten, broken and bruised. With a busted arm,” finished with untangling his fingers to point at his arm. Whirling around to assess Sam who’s trying not to put weight on his right leg, “Banged up hip and God know what else internally. Neither one of you are spring chickens for heaven’s sake.”
“Don’t know what your talking about Y/N? I’m not a day over twenty-five,” taking an aim to make you smile and ease the tension in your shoulders. Frown appearing when your countenance doesn’t change but deepens, “Talk to the resident Centurion who got his ass captured and tortured for over a week.”
Low growl leaves your lips pursed together in a grim line, “Do either of you think about the consequences of your actions? Of what’ll happen without either of you in this God forsaking world?” Tossing your hands up and turning back to dish washing, something to keep from chocking the life outta the two of them, or spilling your inner most thoughts. Afraid to loose either man the very thought making your heart clinch painfully in your chest, breathing picking up as tears gloss over your eyes. Plates clang loudly, forcefully slamming them into the drying rack making both men wince at your actions.
“Y/N,” coming up behind you large warm hands carefully rest on tense shoulders. Aware of your feelings for a certain cyborg the thought a little bitter to take but Sam resigns himself to the role of best friend. “We’re sorry really,” taking a breath and clearing his throat wanting to make amends and explain. “We thought, planned, things just…”
“Went to shit around us, it’s not like Sam or I wanted to get the crap beating out of us doll it just,” shrugging vibranium hand coming to rest on your shoulder beside Sam’s. “Got complicated.”
Taking a deep breath drawing in the scents of Sam’s citrus and cider wood cologne you couldn’t put your finger on naming, mixing with Bucky’s old world sandalwood base cologne of 4711. Eyes close for a moment blinking back the tears, and to gather thoughts, righting them in an order that makes sense. Trying to keep out the feelings currently jumbling up your brain. “I know,” body sags back against Sam’s strong chest while unconsciously leaning towards Bucky’s hand. “Neither of you will do that shit again. Do I make myself clear?”
“Not if things go dark side like this time, we’re not putting you in harms way,” feeling you stiffen Sam steps back, Bucky’s hand drops back to his side when you whirl on the man behind you. Stance ridge and firm, Sam crosses his arms adding his own glare and not backing down. “My decision is final on the matter and no amount of arguing will change that.”
Understanding Sam’s position, however the thought of staying behind, waiting to find out if… no you push those thoughts aside. “Mine, that’s who makes the choice not either of you,” heat of annoyance flaring to life as you look between the two men. “Knowing what I signed up for, choose to stick around and help put this broken blue marble we call home back together. I won’t sit out the next mission we clear on that?”
Rubbing the back of his neck, barely audible hiss leaves Bucky’s lips at having hair yanked out by the roots. Though his voice is steady when asking, “Why did you stick around? Thought once Walker handed over the shield, the Flag smashers agenda crashed and burned you’d skip out on the next train back to normal.” Not that he minded of course, in fact Bucky rather enjoyed your company, reminded him of those first months out of cryo getting to know each other. Plus his questions distracted you from getting an answer that won’t satisfy.
“I have my reasons,” giving a half hearted shrug you turn back to finishing up the dishes not really wanting to explain. Not fully sure yourself why you’ve stuck around though deep down you know it has to do with both men. “Reasons neither of you need to know.”
Sharing a look with Bucky, “Don’t pull that shit with us sweetheart you demand answers now we ask the same in return.”
Sure they still argued like an old married couple but a begrudging understanding has built between the pair, coming to an almost friendship neither would fully admit to. Both wanting to protect the small family friend’s circle patched together like grandma’s old quilt. Tattered, frayed and a few wholes but well loved and always cared for. Eyes landing back on you to watch the forward slump of your shoulders rounded inward along with your chin dropped to your chest.
“I have the two of you house broken,” idea forming to steer the conversation away. “Don’t need that headache on repeat and I wouldn’t leave the two of you bone heads alone to kill each other or drive poor Sarah crazy,” quicker than either can react you’ve scooped up hand fulls of soap bubbles to smash into both their faces. Deflecting the conversation away from having to answer and lightening the mood. Or so you hoped with the playfully murderous looks both men shoot you. Skirting Sam’s grabby hands heading to put the kitchen table between yourself, Captain America and the Winter Soldier. “Now boys that’s just all in good fun and your both hurt so I suggest you think about your actions before retaliating.”
Wiping the remains of soapy bubbles from his face, thick fingers making wet tracks over denim to dry hands. Sam edges a little closer intent on trying to snag your arm. That ghosts through his fingers, “For now but remember paybacks a bitch sweetheart.” Bright smile tugs his full lips, head shaking though he knows there’s so much more your hiding from both he and Bucky. One day he’ll crack that secret you hold so dear, for now Sam lets you cling tightly.
Watching him go you turn towards Bucky who’s smirk sets you back a moment. “I don’t think I like that look Barnes,” arms crossed mustering a half glare. “Sam’s right you really can see the smoke rising from your head.”
“Hahaha that jokes getting old,” light hearted quip falling from his lips, eyes raking your form as you near the sink. Catching you looking between finishing the dishes and making sure Bucky’s not going to retaliate. “I come in peace promise besides I’m too old for revenge I’ll leave it to you young whipper snappers,” throwing his voice to sound like an old man.
Laughter rings full and deep from your parted lips, soapy hands gripping the sink to keep from toppling over in mirth. His own chuckle exists on a grin, cerulean eyes taking in how carefree you look. Tension and worry melted away with his well played grandpa joke. Making Bucky wish he got to see you like this more often but then he remembered why he never searched. Why he left you alone and only within the last ten or so months managed to reconnect the missing dots in his life. Sure there’s still blood on his hands he tries to scrub clean with each mission, to make those amends and not just avenge. But truly help people in ways that didn’t require lead or blood.
Still wondering, so he gives voice to those thoughts, “Why didn’t you go back to your life doll?” Feeling he’s perpetuated a grave error in asking the question but a part of him wants. No needed the answer to know why you’d give up a happy life for one of danger and uncertainty with him and Sam.
Sobering, his question hitting you like a ton of cement bricks keeping you from turning to face him. Wincing when another hiss echos around inside your head from your right side. “Tell you what Buck you let me cut that hair and beard of yours I’ll answer your questions.”
“I get you don’t… wait… what?” Not sure he’d heard you right. Pain making a return to fog his brain for the moment as throbbing radiates across his broken clavicle to the dislocated shoulder, dancing along the fractured radius and painfully tingling his fingers. Soft curse exists his lips reminding himself to take Sam’s suggestions next time though he wouldn’t let the other man know. “Don’t happen to have any pain meds do ya doll?”
Eyes narrow, “Which parts did they break?” Holding up a hand to stop him from answering while you head towards your room. Grabbing up the small med kit Sharon gave you months back for times like these. Pausing to scoop up the hair scissors and trimer, along with a shaver and cream, both of which belonging to Sam. “Now you were saying?”
Placing everything on the table, unzipping the medium size unassuming black bag pulling out a small bottle to pop the top and wiggle out two pills. Handing those over to Bucky who just stares at them resting in his metal palm.
“Trying to kill me doll?” Teasing tone to the cadence of his words while popping them into his mouth and excepting the glass of water. Downing in one go and handing it back, “Never did like pills reminds me of Steve.”
Resting a gentle hand on his bad shoulder, “If I tried to kill ya Buck you’d see it coming,” snickering at the wide eyed look he gives you. Sobering with understanding filled eyes that stay locked with his, “I’m sorry it”s not my intentions to bring up the past.” Moving to put the glass down, you stay at the sink looking out over the backyard, orange and reds dancing over the rippling surface of the bayou. Sinking sun creating a cornucopia of color heralding the on coming twilight and the end of another day.
“You didn’t Y/N,” coming to stand next to you watching the golden ball of life giving light slowly sink into the horizon. On the tip of his tongue to speak about Steve, the abandonment he felt acutely with the absence of his best friend. Slowly filled by your present, that of Sam’s and his family. “I guess ‘Till the end of the line’ meant just till he could get back to who he really missed.” Anguish heard loudly through soft spoken words not meant for your ears but once uttered there’s no going back.
Out of your peripheral vision you study Bucky for a moment heart breaking for the man who’s lost so much to then fully face him. His own gaze staying straight ahead staring unseen out the window with tan lace curtains framing the coming twilight. Over head light casting shadows in the hallows and angles of his features, bringing out the bruises highlighting the cuts, making your heart ache for this man in ways you’ve tried to push aside. Ways you didn’t want it to feel in case of rejection but couldn’t help the tightening in your chest nor the want to embrace and hold Bucky close.
“Come on,” without thinking your hand slips into his vibranium palm tugging till he follows and only dropping to scoop up trimmer, combs and scissors before heading out the back door.
For a moment Bucky stood there thankful to Shuri for the ability to feel warmth and the weight of your hand in his vibranium limb. The very thoughts your simple gesture conjures damns his heart making it beat triple time. When your head pops back around the door sweet smile crossing those kissable lips. Bucky has to remind himself you’re off limits friends nothing more and to breath. Your beauty stealing the air from his lungs, making it hard to focus on anything except your present.
Catching the out of focus look in his cerulean eyes mind swirling with questions as to what he’s thinking about. “You gonna stand there taking root or get your silly ass out here,” motioning with a jerk of your head over your shoulder smile still firmly in place. Making sure he’s actually moving before existing to place a stool about middle of the back porch. Patting the hardwood barstool then reaching up to tug on the pull string as light floods the area casting a bright glow.
Transfixed for a moment in the doorway with the peek of skin allowed to his eyes. Your heather grey band shirt riding up teasingly tormenting him. Cursing internally, tongue trapped between indenting teeth to keep the sounds at bay. Till the hard slap of your palm against wooden seat draws his attentions and he robotically takes the seat. Stiffening with the fluttering of a barber’s cape hating to have things around his neck. Only to settle once you have it in place and buttoned reminding him your not there to hurt or torture him. Fingers brushing lightly over the exposed skin of his neck, creating goosebumps to dance across his flesh.
“Not too tight?” Gently running nimble fingers through his hair, blunt nails scratching the scalp. Finding it hard to keep from rubbing into your hands and fighting the urge to purr with each pass. You work the larger knots out carefully, pulling a comb from the back pocket of your jeans to run through his hair. “You with me Buck?”
“Hmm?” Simple noise issues from the back of his throat lost in the tingling sensations your fingers bloom across his body. Wanting to chase the feeling bringing peace to his mind much like the soft cadence your voice takes on with the intimacy surrounding the two of you. Sweet chuckle music to his ears and snaps him back to now, noticing you’ve paused your hands waiting for a response, “Sorry no I’m good.”
“Enjoying yourself Barnes?” Teasingly quipped while adjusting the cape to cover his back. Making sure all his hair lays over the edges and carefully combing out the smaller knots your fingers missed. Secretly enjoying the soft chestnut strands as they curl around your fingers. Massaging his scalp hoping to relax his tense posture when a particularly stubborn knot has you accidentally giving a not so gentle tug. Garnering a low moan from the man in front of you. “Sorry Buck,” working the knot out with a little more care taking the sound as one of pain.
Throat clearing, thankful his crotch is currently covered to not give away the secret he’s concealing. Praying to all the heavens you’ve taken the moan as one of pain instead of pleasure that’s surfing through his veins with a simple hair pull. “Yes, and it’s fine,” words pushed passed lips held taunt to keep from letting any sound out. Searching his mind for a topic to settle on, willing his body to stop reacting to the warmth of yours.
Each brush of fingers sends heat flaring to life along his nerves. Knowing the pain killers don’t worked through his system that quickly. Yet, the throbbing ache once present has diluted to a low annoying thump with the heat of your hands on his cotton covered shoulder. Wanting to lean back into your body but holds himself ridge from doing something stupid like enjoying the moment. Therefore clears his throat, “You’ve got me at your mercy doll ready to answer my questions?”
“Should I worry what you’ll ask?” Moving from behind him to head back into the kitchen. Grabbing the empty spray bottle to fill with warm water and head back out.
Eyes close with the first spritz of water, chin dropping to chest as you work to wet his hair. “Why?”
“Why what?” Knowing what he’s asking, your distracted for a moment putting the spray bottle’s trigger through a belt loop incase its needed once your satisfied with the wetness of his hair. “I’ll need more specifics than just why. Why’s the sky blue? Why’s it so damn hot? So many why questions you gotta stop wasting your breath Buck.”
“Cheeky doll very cheeky you know damn well what I mean,” keeping his head still to prevent you from severing an ear.
Smirking, setting to work on trimming up the top back portion of his head, trying to keep from childishly making faces. “Sure don’t Sarge.”
Groan slipping passed before he’s able to trap and swallow the sound at the off handed use of his military rank. Wondering which deity had it out for his ass today. Cursing the fact he’s let you so close to breath in the flowery scent of your body. Gentle use of those skilled fingers through his hair not making things any better for the growing problem tenting his jeans. Returning to himself when you move to his left shortening the hair over his ear. “Why’d you stay with us? I thought,” remembering those painful words back in Madripoor. “I thought you had a happy life to go back to.”
“Ear hustling Barnes?” Switching sides and glancing down with a raised brow you know he doesn’t see.
Looking up to try and catch your eye your focus on cutting his hair makes the attempt impossible. So he settles on, “Don’t know what you mean doll. Just asking a question,” trying to hold the shiver at bay when your fingers brush over the shell of his ear.
“Since your asking it means you didn’t hear everything Sam and I talked about,” thankful that’s the case or things would get a whole lot complicated. “I lied.”
Head whipping to the side so quickly you fear he’s damaged his neck with the wince taking over his handsome features. “Lied why?”
“Reasons,” ‘Ones I won’t tell you James,’ speaking the last words in your mind, careful probing fingers check for anything popped out. Garnering a hiss of pain when you’ve found the break in his clavicle. “What did you break besides the hamster running your wheel brain?”
Bitting off the curse as pain flared over his right side. Gritting out, “Clavicle, dislocated shoulder, fractured radius, you can see the cuts and bruises so take it a little easy on this old man.”
“How… Why did you get captured?” Worry fights fear both dance with anger marching through your veins as a Thanksgiving Day parade band would down the streets of New York City. The very thought of both your men hurt and so far away from home torn a hole in your heart. Thoughts you try to push away and focus on the job of cutting Bucky’s hair.
Finishing up what you could on the back of his head, Bucky feels you come around to the front. Knees spread to accommodate your body, closing his eyes to keep from staring at your breasts. Licking suddenly dry lips with having you extra close, he tries to gather an answer to your question. “We needed an in so I made a decision.”
“One I’m sure Sam disagreed on,” carding your fingers through the top, snipping pieces checking length. Jealous over how soft his hair feels between your digits. Woodsy pine scent reaching your nose that twitches in pleasure at the fragrance matching what you always thought he’d smell like.
“Yeah well we ran out of time doll. Couldn’t let what remains of LAF get away,” eyes quickly open only to slam shut again with having you still too near for his own good.
Every brush of your fingers, thighs brushing against his with every move, your flowery scent wrapping around his heart to squeeze tight. Breath punched from his lungs when your knee makes slight contact with his erection. Shooting pleasurable fireworks off behind his closed lids. Wishing for your hands on his body, wondering what they’d feel like over bare skin. If you’d shy away from the scars littering his flesh or… he wouldn’t, didn’t need to think about the alternative.
Unsure why he gasped you move from between his legs and look upon his face confused as to his ridge posture eyes held tightly closed. Insecurities rushing through your mind, setting up shop to remind you no man let alone someone as handsome as Bucky would ever want to look at you. Shoving back those thoughts to ask, “You okay Bucky?”
“Fucking fabulous doll,” bitting out the words while trying to reign in the need to grab hold of your hips, bringing you back against him. Wanting to find out if you’d fit as good or better than what he’s imagined during those dream filled nights he doesn’t talk about with anyone. “Finished?” Praying you’ll say yes, the temptation becoming almost unbearable.
Unconvinced by his words but pushes that aside and stepping farther back to round him, grabbing up the trimmer on the way with a numbered comb. “Almost but then I still have your beard to do.”
“Fuck,” low gravely voice intones the single word hoping you’ve not heard and cursing the heaven for this test of his will and desires. In another life Bucky wouldn’t have hesitated to ask you out, wine and dine with dancing till midnight. Taking you home with a simple kiss of promise with more to come. But he’s different now and you don’t deserve to have a broken man on your hands.
Swallowing harshly to cover your growing need to escape and bury yourself in another program or book to distract from those awful thoughts running around in your mind. Replaying all the brush offs and look aways as rejection shattering your heart. Pushing you to finish his new hair cut that much quicker. “Done, now how short you want your beard?”
“Gone,” knowing exactly what he’s saying and damning himself to the torture of a different kind.
Coming back in front of him, you slip between his parted knees so easily a thought you try to push away while switching the trimmer combs and flicking the on button. Carefully cupping his left cheek while shortening the right for a closer shave once your done. “Surely you didn’t just let them capture you.” Returning to a safer subject other than how good his bearded jaw felt in your warm palm. Wondering how it’d feel in other places.
“Offered myself up for a little bloody torture and a few broken bones. I’m here to tell the tale instead of those guys Y/N. They're off the streets and we have the information needed to finish taking down LAF.” Teeth gritting to keep from rubbing his jaw into your palm, from turning to kiss the center and devour you with his mouth.
Pausing a moment, “But you could’ve gotten killed James.” Sorrow coloring the cadence of your tone, eyes filled with fear at what could’ve happened. “You should’ve called me, I could’ve helped.”
Heart stopping, never had you spoken his first name, always Bucky or Buck, Barnes when your angry but never James. Opening his darken cerulean orbs breath trapped somewhere between lungs and mouth at the sorrow written deep in those eyes he never could not stare into. Heart hammering back to life with the subtle brushing of your fingers over his cheek, “Would it have matter?”
Confusion tips your head to the side, “What you dying or me helping?”
“Dying,” single word dropped like a bomb destroying everything in the path.
“James,” softly spoken with so much emotion held within the countenance of your features. Watching the ghosts float through those beautiful cerulean eyes, memories of a time he couldn’t control, of deeds done to people who didn’t deserve the pain and death he dealt out as the Fist of Hydra. Tears gloss over your eyes once again trying to blink them away to keep them from clogging your emotions filled throat. “It matter’s Barnes, matters to a lot of people you’re just too stubborn to realize that.” Shaking your head to clear the fog and get back to work.
Speechless Bucky just sits there letting you finish up trimmer the hair away as if trying to erase the past months, the torture he let happen with no regard to his personal well being. During this time your words chase around his mind, combined with Sam’s out right demand of him to never put himself in harms way like that again. Adding more questions added than any true answers. Delicate fingers brush over trimmed facial hair bringing him back to the present right as you move to take the barber’s cape from around his neck. Missing the warmth of your touch, heat radiating from your body, your scent filling his nose and making him drunk on you.
Folding the cape to drape over your arm, “I’ll shave you as well come back inside.” Voice slightly rough with unshed tears avoiding looking directly at Bucky and missing the longing written in the ocean pools. Mistaking his lack of response for rejection of your words and feelings. You enter the house placing the small hand load down and moving a chair over towards the sink. Returning to grab up the shaving cream and razor, pulling a fresh wash cloth from the draw by the sink too wet it hot.
“You don’t have to,” entering and closing the back door with the heel of his boot. Bucky leans against the counter watching you with a closed expression. Pain dull but still worming its way through his veins along with so many thoughts.
Glancing his way, “I know,” motioning with a wave of your hand, “but if I don’t that beard’ll come back in short order and we’ll have to do this all over again.” Going for playful to ease the tension built from the lingering words of out on the porch, “Bring your ass over here Buck.”
Your change in mood has a confused frown pulling his mouth down but complies with the order. Taking up the seat with spread legs and turned up face watching you wring out the wash cloth. Using your elbow and tipping his head back to gently place the hot cloth around what’s left of his beard to soften the hair and wake up the pores. Catching the small muffled groan, “To hot?”
“No, perfect,” faintly hearing the two simple words you grab up the shaving cream to put a generous amount in your palm before pulling the quickly cooling cloth from his face. Tossing it towards the sink and applying a layer of cream to his skin. Left overs rinsed from your hands quickly before drying and grasping the razor with steady hands. “Just a little off the top if you please,” boyish smirk slips over his lips tipping cream covered cheeks up while trying to be funny.
Eyes rolling, “To late for that one top’s already taken care of.” Using the pad of your thumb to push the skin of his cheek taunt. Carefully dragging the razor over his flesh intending to keep your gaze directed towards working the blade over his check. However, you’re unable to do so while cleaning the razor as your eyes dart up catching the fact Bucky’s gaze firmly rests on your face. Heat blooming across your body, eyes drop back to his cheek intent on getting finished quickly to avoid any farther embarrassment.
Meanwhile Bucky maps every feature of your face, the slant of your nose, set of your eyes, cupids bow of your top lip. Visions of drawing the plump flesh in for a bite and pull before letting go with a wet pop, filter through his mind. Finding himself in a rather precarious predicament, thighs spread to accommodate your body, his palms itch to grasp and tug you into his lap. Bitting back a moan each touch brings, the gentleness tearing a new hole in armored covered heart. Wanting to keep you out but finding it harder to do every time you show the kindness his life lacked for decades.
Minds eye drawing the curves of your cheeks, lips twitching to caress, fingers tapping trapped in plaster and cloth against his body. Wanting to brush his knuckles over your throat to gently grasp the back of your neck and bring your lips against his for a slow sweet drink of the tempting cavern of your warm mouth. Only snapping back to reality with the soft brush of your fingers along his jawline.
Searching for any hairs left behind, soothingly palming his cheeks with cool hands desperate to taste his skin. Drag your lips over the same spots the razor just graced. Teasing the tip of your tongue along the hard edge of his jaw to place a kiss just below his ear. Tempted to even suck a mark for everyone to see. You swallow harshly removing your hands from his cheeks to rinse and warm up the cloth to clean off any residual shaving cream from his face.
“Finished,” clearing your emotions clogged throat, stepping towards the sink, your profile the only side Bucky sees as you work to clean up the mess.
Feeling rather than hearing him stand heat radiating of his body just a few inches shy of brushing against yours. “Thank you doll,” impulsively leaning forward to brush his lips over your cheek. Lingering longer than he should but unable too stop himself from pressing soft slight chapped lips to the corner of your mouth. “Next time I need shavin’ I know who to come too,” breathing the words before pulling away, taking his leaving quickly to keep from doing something even stupider. Like wrap you up into his arms and actually kissing those pillow soft lips. Backdoor swinging closed a little harder than he meant in his bid to get away from your warmth and tempting body.
Frozen in place, skin tingling from just that slight press while your heart beats almost out of your chest. Pounding against your rib cage so hard fear it’ll crack a rib any second now. White knuckles grip the sinks edge, heat flaring across your body to pool low and throb through your lady parts. Thighs unconsciously rub together needing friction to alleviate the ache growing between your legs.
“Did you cut him or take a hunk of hair out and now he looks like Frankenstein monster?” Teasing tone to his quip, Sam enters the kitchen still staring at the back door. Having watched the exchange from the darkened hallway. Reverting his eyes to your back, taking in the ridge posture of your spine with a slight very subtle shake. “Y/N what’s wrong?” Swiftly coming up behind you, hands gripping your shoulders to turn you around. “Did Bucky say or do something wrong?” Worry creasing his brow the want to hold you close growing with each second your not in his arms.
Looking up into the kind russet eyes flashing with concern and worry, “No,” head shaking, “no he didn’t Sam just…” unable to stop yourself from burying your body against Sam’s firm chest. Trying to figure out how to explain what’s running around in your head. The indecision, thoughts you know shouldn’t roll through your mind doing just that as your arms wind around his trim waist.
“Just what sweetheart?” Wanting to help smooth things over between his two best friends even if it meant swallowing his own feelings.
Keeping your eyes closed, breathing in his cedar wood and citrus scent, burying your nose against his collarbone. Always able to calm the raging storm of emotions boiling through your veins. Confusion setting in with those same tingles you feel when Bucky touches you now dances across your body at the warmth of Sam’s arms cradling you close. Reminding you of earlier when his chest pressed to your back strong hands gently placed on your shoulders. The shiver you suppressed at the touch of both men. At the memory your eyes pop open and you quickly push away from Sam as if he’s burnt you. Needing to escape and figure out what’s going on.
“Nothing, it doesn’t matter, I’m sorry,” feet quickly taking you from the kitchen into the safe arms of your bedroom.
Missing the confused look marring Sam’s face that turns into hurt at the way you’ve shoved him aside. Body sagging against the counter, hand rubbing at the back of his neck searching for what’s changed in such a short period of time.
“Men, blind and just plain foolish,” landing a hard hit to his shoulder, which he rubs to alleviate the pain. Sarah comes up beside her older brother with a raised brow. “Still don’t get it? Searching for exactly why she reacted so strongly? Think Samuel use that big brain you have and actually put it to good use.”
Frown creasing between his eyes and drawing his lips down, “Left behind sucks Sarah that’s all it amounts to. But we… I couldn’t have her along, wouldn’t risk her life like that.”
“Has nothing to do with leaving her home Sam,” giving him a meaningful look that still bewilders him. “Why didn’t you want her along but you took Bucky with you?”
“He’s a super soldier Sar he can take the hits not that I want him hurt either. Shit when he let himself get captured,” moving towards the abandoned chair to plop down heavily. “He scared the living shit outta me, I thought…” hard to swallow the memories of watching those men pulling an unconscious Bucky into a van. Driving off before he could plant a tracker and barely able to get up with bruised ribs making breathing painful. Sam runs a hand over the short hair unsure when things got so complicated between the three of them.
Pulling up a chair in front of Sam, “You’d lost him?” Seeing the nod Sarah’s features softened knowing from the tell’s she picked up watching the three of them for so long. “You love them?”
“What?” Head whipping up so quickly making Sam wince. “Of course I do but not like that I mean their family, you know I’ll do anything to protect my family.”
Hand resting on his shoulder, “You keep telling yourself that big bro maybe one day you’ll actually believe it and able to push those feelings away good enough to keep them at arms length.” Looking up at her, “Just a word of advice,” seeing him nod, “don’t push those emotions away, you deserve that love they both would readily give you.”
*****************************
Softly closing the door behind you heading towards the ensuite bathroom for a nice cold shower, preforming your nightly routine, and shutting off every light except the one beside your bed. Falling into the soft mattress with your current book keeping you company for the rest of the night. Eyes start to droop, words blur and you read the same sentence half a dozen times. Book falling against your chest as a yawn takes over your features.
Body stretching out against cool sheets jumping when a soft knock echos around your room, eyes darting towards the clock to see its just a little passed mid night. Slowly getting out of bed, pulling the extra long dark blue with little pink flowers dotting the sleep shirt down to cover your ass and thighs. Thinking its Sarah checking on you, eyes shocked wide with the small crack you open the door to spy Bucky standing there fidgeting.
“Everything all right Buck?” Opening the door wider to lean against the casing arms crossed just under your breasts.
Swallowing, glancing from your eyes to lips repeatedly. Trying to form the words he wants to speak when the decision makes itself clear and Bucky surges forward. Gently wrapping vibranium fingers around the back of your neck and bragging you against his strong chest. Slanting his lips against yours, nipping your bottom lip to make you gasp and slipping his eager tongue passed into the warm depths of your mouth. Leading the kiss and praying he’s not wrong.
Rewarded by your arms winding around his neck careful of his injures. Fingers tugging at the now shorten strands thanks to your expect hands. Garnering a low moan from the depths of his chest, one that rambles with a pleased hum as you return the kiss. Tangling your tongues together making nothing soft nor gentle about this melding of mouths. Only breaking apart for both of you to gasp for air.
“No, nothing’s all right doll. I can’t stop thinking about you,” resting your foreheads together sharing common air. Fingers at the base of your skull massaging the tension with surprisingly easy pressure. “I’d done fighting, done pushing you away, I need you Y/N.”
“James?” Lips tingling from a kiss you’ve only dreamt about as confusion marring your tone, eyes blinking a few times to make sure you’ve pushed the sleepy haze from your mind.
Soft groan issues at hearing you whisper just first name, hand slipping down to wrap around your waist and pull your taut to his body. “If…” trying to push the next words past his lips, “if you don’t want…”
“Us, we need to know now sweetheart. We won’t push you into anything you don’t want,” Sam’s voice full of desire and longing cuts across Bucky’s for a moment.
Making you look up from eyes locked with Bucky to stare at Sam trying to process his words, the look in those beautiful russet eyes you can’t pull yours away from. Till Bucky presses a kiss to just below your ear, “We know it’s a lot to take in doll and you can say no…”
“I,” gulping like a fish out of water, heat thumping through your veins at the unspoken promise both sets of eyes show. “I don’t know what to say.”
Stepping forward to push you back a step so Sam can fully enter your bedroom and close the door. He comes behind you sandwiching your body between two walls of muscle and masculine warmth. Pressing a kiss to the opposite cheek, lips brushing over the shell of your ear, “There’s no going back sweetheart you’re ours if you say yes. But if the answer is no I’m not going to lie things will change. Awkward as hell yes especially at first but I,” Bucky clears his throat to which Sam nods, “we would work through that with you. Loosing your friendship can’t happen no matter what.”
Removing yourself from between their warm bodies to collapse at the end of the bed, head in your hands. Mind so confused, a jumbled mix of desire and lust touched with a heavy dose of love that scares the living shit outta you. Feeling the bed dip on either side, removing your hands to glance at both men. Seeing the reassurance in those cerulean and russet orbs you swallow to wet your parched throat. Gaining strength to finally speak, “I don’t want to loose either of you,” looking between both men. Taking each hand within your own, “But this last mission taught me I don’t want to deny my feelings any longer.”
“What feelings doll?” Giving your hand an encouraging squeeze.
Looking into Bucky’s cerulean eyes, “I’m in love with both of you.” Switching to Sam’s russet orbs seeing the blatant want shining only boosts your confidence to lean over. Cupping his jaw and bringing your lips against his. Different from the kiss you shared with Bucky. Who’s bottom lip begs for a nibbling, Sam’s fuller lips press against your own in tender caresses.
Gentler too, a soft slant of his mouth against yours, pressing twice at different angles before tracing over your bottom lip. Gaining entrance on a sigh of need to check in with your tongue before tangling together. Heated palm cupping your cheek, thumb brushing over the apple twice while he artfully pillages your mouth. Drawing out a low moan squeak following when a set of lips slide over the side of your neck nibbling a short path to suck a mark behind your ear. Making you weak and boneless against Sam, who releases your cheek and hand to grip your hips, having you straddle his thighs.
Kiss breaking for air, “I’m to heavy Sam, your hip.”
“You’re prefect baby girl no arguing understand?” Cupping your ass in both hands to roll your hips against the hard bulge of his erection. Teeth gritting at how good you feel in his arms, the damp heat of your core only serving to make him grow harder with each brush against your cloth covered pussy. Sam reclaims your mouth, this kiss much different. Desperate and demanding taking no prisoners this time as he immediately slips his tongue back into your mouth. Pulling a groan from deep within your chest, arms going around his neck to help move your body against his. The delicious friction sending jolts of pleasure radiating out over your body, clit throbbing with a need you’ve never felt before.
Hissing at the cool sensations of Bucky’s vibranium fingers drawing circles across your back. Pushing your sleep shirt off your body arms raising, breaking the kiss to accomplish the task. Looking over your shoulder at the bare chested Barnes, mouth salivating at the sight eager to touch and kiss every inch. Brought back to Sam with the heat of his mouth connecting to your pulse, adding his own mark to your body while his callused fingers dances across your back.
Cursing his rotten luck for not having use of one hand, Bucky steps forward lowering to his knees carefully. Brushing his lips along your spine while cool alloyed fingers sweep around your body between you and Sam to trace a line between your breasts. Head dropping back to Bucky’s shoulder and baring your breasts to Sam’s hungry glaze and Bucky’s questing fingers.
“So beautiful,” words whispered reverently from Sam’s lips against the damp column of your throat. Mouth tasting each inch of your skin he can reach. Till moist heat circles your nipple, wet tip of his tongue coming out to flick the tightly budded peak before sucking harshly. In contrast to the cool patterns Bucky draws, taking the time to tug before pinching just hard enough that your back arches into Sam’s mouth.
Pushing into Bucky at your back a whimper parting your gasping lips. Needing more of both men surrounding you, slick coating your trembling thighs as you clinch around nothing. Dragging a whine of desperation from you soul,“Please,” single word escaping your mouth.
“What doll? What do you want?” Drawing his lips up to your ear, nipping the lobe bringing it between his teeth giving a sharp bite at the same time Sam flicks his tongue over your nipple.
Letting go with a wet pop, smiling at the whine exiting your heaving chest, “I think out girl needs more Buck. Any thoughts on how to please her?” Brow wiggling over your shoulder at Bucky who just smirks.
Fingers sliding down then under the band of your panties to find you soaked and pulsing. Cool metal meeting heated flesh makes you jolt in Sam’s arms. Grinding down into those wonderful fingers and against the thick ridge of Sam’s cock.
“Don’t stop please,” gasping head lolling back, your eyes close as sensations crash through your veins. Tight coil starting to form with just the brush of his fingers.
Maneuvering closer to slip two fingers into your clinching channel. Deep groan vibrating through his chest and into your back, “Fuck Sam she’s tight and so wet for us. I bet she tastes just as good as she feels.” Rocking your hips, fucking his fingers desperate for that high traveling up from the bottom of your spine. Tickling your tummy with jolts of pleasure only to have it diminish when Bucky pulls his fingers out.
Frustrated whine leaving your lips only to choke on air when Bucky offers one of the fingers perviously buried inside your cunt to Sam. Who doesn’t hesitate to wrap his lips around the single digit, groaning at the very taste of your essence. Circling the tip with his tongue, making sure to clear every drop off while keeping eye contact with Bucky. Mimicking with his mouth how he’d suck Bucky’s cock, garnering a growl from deep within his chest. Letting go with a smirk, “Even better Buck and I bet from the source it’s simply heaven.”
“Only way to find out,” answering grin firmly in place he raises from the floor. Helping you stand on shaky legs turning you to face him. Capturing your lips in an open mouth kiss, flicking his tongue against yours, teasing your bottom lip and drawing out another frustrated groan making him chuckle. “Don’t worry doll we promise you won’t go unsatisfied we’re going to take care of your every need.”
“Don’t tease her Buck it’s not fair,” glint of mischief sparking through those russet eyes that only Bucky catches since your still face him. Sam comes up behind to pressing his bare chest against your back, hands resting on your hips, tugging and letting the band of your panties snap back against your skin. “You can still say no.”
Wiggling back against Sam then pressing forward to feel the hard line of Bucky’s erection against your lower tummy. Knowing why he’s asking, seeing the same sentiment mirrored in Bucky’s eyes that warms your heart filling with love for both men. “Now who’s teasing Samuel,” reaching behind you to slide your palm over his ridged cock giving a squeeze at the same time you palm Bucky. “I’m sure my loves,” enjoying the answering growls from both men. Before another word leaves your lips Sam tugs down your panties letting them pool at your feet as Bucky moves you towards the bed.
Swiping the book from the mattress to lay on the nightstand, smile on his lips at finding the well loved copy of The Fellowship of the Ring. Bringing you to sit then lay back against the cool sheets, trailing his vibranium fingers from your cheek down between your breasts. Circling each nipple, giving the right a light pinch that has your back arching and a gasp existing your paired lips. Distracted till Sam gently grips your left ankle, spreading you open to slide between your legs. Pressing kisses alone the inside of your leg towards your thigh. Soft bread tickling your skin making giggles erupt from your mouth.
“I think she likes that Sam,” the comment spoken against your ear. Placing a kiss to your cheek, “Have to remember to let my own beard grow back out.”
Whimpering softly at the thought one hand fisting the sheets as Sam draws his tongue over the crease between thigh and groin. Purposefully avoiding the spot you want him most, “Payback is a bitch boys,” words growled out right as Bucky envelopes your left nipple into the heat of his mouth.
“Teasing half the fun sweetheart have patience,” looking up from between your legs. Stiffen tongue drawing up from your entrance to clit, circling the little throbbing nub and making your back arch, gasping for air.
“Fuck,” single word breathed from deep within your body. Sweat starting to bead across your forehead. Head tossed back into the pillow free hand carding through Bucky’s chestnut hair tugging the strands harshly till he lets your breast go with a wet pop. You guide his mouth up to yours, demandingly taking the kiss over, slipping your tongue into his mouth this time. Swallowing your moans of delight with each thrust of his tongue. Matching the pace Sam sets against your dripping cunt.
Rutting into the mattress to find the prefect friction hoping to ease for a moment the throbbing of his cock. “Stop stealing all those pretty noises Barnes I wanna hear our girl,” reaching up to smack the other mans thigh hard enough to break the two of you apart.
“Sorry not sorry,” giving him a smirk while licking his lips from the heated kiss.
Filing away the fact Bucky knows what means only to have any thought fly from your mind as two thick fingers enter your quivering channel. Slowly thrusting, his mouth suctioned onto your clit, drawing little short patterns making your thighs shake around his head. Slacking off to lazily place kisses over those thighs but still pumping his fingers, crooking them into a come hither motion to brush over that special spongy spot.
Blooming stars behind your tightly closed eyes, “Watch him doll, see how much you loves devouring that pretty cunt.” Voice rough with arousal against your ear, Bucky’s metal fingers dancing over your chest only adding to your heighten state of desire.
At his command you eyes open to lock with Sam’s passion blown blacken eyes. Moaning at the picture he presents you with, panting breath as you keep drawing closer to your orgasm. Only to have Sam back off creating frustrating tension in your body. Gritting out, “I’m going to die if you don’t let me cum.”
Smirk showing in those beloved eyes as he doubles down on your clit. Lips puffy but forming a perfect O too suction and flick his tongue over the engorged nerve bundle. Fingers, third added to stretch you open and picking the pace up as your mouth drops wide in a scream Bucky devours with a deep kiss. To keep from waking the kids or Sarah, his own body on fire with a need to have you both.
Tingles quickly dancing through your veins, breath panting as you break from Bucky’s mouth, one hand gripping the sheets below the other still buried in his hair. Body on fire as you near that perfect orgasm Sam’s intent on giving you.
Denial’s not just a river in Egypt as your eyes pop open at the knock on your door. Reminiscent of what your sluggish brain comes to understand as just a very vivid dream. One that makes your heart drop with the book that’d lay on your chest now face down on the carpeted floor. You stand checking the time of mid night before heading to the door and finding Sarah on the other side with ice cream in hand.
“Figured you might need some cheering up,” letting her in and taking the bowl of your favorite ice cream.
Vivid dream lingering though you don’t share feeling a TMI moment she doesn’t and most likely wouldn’t want to know about her big brother. You steer the topics away from the non existent love life to plans for tomorrow and the coming weekend.
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bored-mumma · 3 years
Text
Steve rogers - fluff alphabet
Masterlist
Chris evans version
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A = Attractive. What do they find attractive about the other?
He loves how you see the bright side in every situation. He can be going down the rabbit hole and getting pissed off with it all, but along comes you, desperately trying to show Steve the positive side in everything. He adores that and always takes your opinions on board.
B = Baby. Do they want a family? Why/Why not?
No. He’s not even sure if he can have children! But even if he could, it would be a big no from him. Bringing a child into his life wouldn’t be fair and he didn’t want his enemies to target his children.
C = Cuddle. How do they cuddle?
Arms wrapped around your waist, holding you close. He’s usually the big spoon.
D = Dates. What are dates with them like?
They’re few and far between so when you and Steve do finally get some time for a date, it’s usually very intimate and just the two of you. More often than not you would spend the evening at home, order a take out and simply cuddle on the sofa watching something on TV. Your lives were always so busy and fast paced so actually getting some time to sit back and relax in each others arms is as close to heaven as you’ll ever get.
E = Everything. You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)
You are my dream come true.
F = Feelings. When did they know they were falling in love?
He can’t remember the exact moment he fell in love, he just knew it happened pretty fast. When you first met he found you extremely beautiful and would sneak looks at you as often as he could but he didn’t actually get a chance to speak to you until a couple weeks later. When he did, you two clicked pretty quickly and Steve asked you out for dinner. Before he knew it, he was imagining your future together, your wedding, your home, your life as a couple. It hit him like a train.
G = Gentle. Are they gentle? If so, how?
He’s pretty gentle with you. He knows his strength and is pretty mindful of it when holding your hand or having his arm wrapped around your waist.
H = Holding Hands. How do they like to hold hands?
He loves to hold your hand. Almost feels proud to openly show he belongs to you and you him. He’ll link his fingers with yours, rubbing his thumb along your skin.
I = Impression. First impression/s?
He noticed you when you walked into the meeting room to hand some files to Fury. He didn’t know who you were or what your job was but he did know you were utterly breath taking. As said above, it took him a few weeks to speak to you but when he did, he noticed your strong will and opinions which he adored.
J- Joker. Are they into pulling pranks?
He doesn’t really get the time to pull pranks, but does enjoy doing them when he gets the chance. Especially when the two of you team up and do a prank on Sam and Bucky. You did one on Natasha once, but it didn’t go down very well.
K = Kiss. How do they kiss?
In every way possible. With his hands on your waist as he gently kisses you to show affection. One hand on the back of your neck, another on the small of your back as he desperately kissed your breath away. A quick peck between meetings. A strong, passionate one as he hugged you as close as possible to him when he comes back from a mission. There’s a million ways he kisses you and each one is as amazing as the last.
L = Love. Who says ‘I love you’ first?
You do. He had come back from a particularly difficult mission and was a little down as you were comforting him. Holding him in your arms, you looked up at him, give him a loving kiss and whispered the words you had longed to say for a while now. 
M = Memory. What’s their favourite memory together?
It doesn't happen often thanks to your guys' jobs, but the first time you two had a "normal" day out together. Went to a museum, had a coffee, went for lunch, walk through the park. Stuff that seems so simple to others was your fondness memory.
N = Nickel. Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?
Surprising enough, being captain America doesn't pay as much as one would think. He likes to spoil you on your birthday, anniversary and Christmas but throughout the rest of the year money can sometimes be a little tight (you know Tony would always help but you would never ever ask. It's a pride thing) so you don't get spoilt with material things. Although Steve makes it up with love and gestures.
O = Orange. What colour reminds them of their other half?
Yellow! Just like you, the colour yellow represents joy, warmth, optimism and light. Pretty much how Steve would always describe you.
P = Petnames. What petnames do they use?
“Doll.” and “Love.”
Q = Quaint. What is their favourite non-modern thing?
He loves going to the theatre. Enjoying a show with you, both dressed in black tie formal, hand rested in each others. He also loves the buzz of laughs around him and the gasps from the audience - something you don't get in a cinema.
R = Rainy Day
Rain or shine, Steve Rogers has a job to do. It's very rare you two would get a day together so even if it's pouring it down outside, you can bet your ass he's still dragging you out for a date.
S = Sad. How do they cheer themselves/others up?
He struggles a little with expressing his feelings. Men being allowed to show distressed emotion wasn't really a thing of the early 1900's and was something Steve found a little hard to actually do. You told him repeatedly feeling down or anxious isn't something to be ashamed of. It would take a while but with some comforting words and hugs, Steve would open up to you. Simply being able to express his emotions so openly with his lover would help make him feel better.
T = Talking. What do they like to talk about?
Steve loves to speak to you and what you’re passionate about. Watching your face light up as you get lost in what you’re saying, your hands moving as you really get into it. He could sit back and watch you for hours.
U = Unencumbered. What helps them relax?
Dragging your nails along his scalp as he rests his head on your chest, listening to your breathing as your body warms him.
V = Vaunt. What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?
His strength! He still remembers what it was like to be a small skinny man and he bloody loves to show off his muscles to you. He’ll carry all the shopping from the car, would move all furniture when you moved in together, does a lot of workouts where he knew you would see. You loved it just as much as he did.
W = Wedding. When, how, where do they propose?
Steve is a pretty traditional man. Tony pulled some strings and got Steve a table at one of the nicest restaurants around. You two had a lovely dinner, Steve ordering your favourite drink and telling you to order anything that catches your eye. Between the main meal and your dessert, Steve walked around the table, got on one knee and asked you to be his wife.
X = Xylophone. What’s their song?
Everyone gave him a long list of music artists to listen too when he woke up in 2011. One of which was Whitney Houston. “I will always love you” is one he likes as it calms him down.
Y = You. You are the ___ to my ___ (e.g. the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)
You are the beat to my heart.
Z = Zebra. If they wanted a pet, what would they get?
A dog. He wants to get a security dog for when he is away from missions to make sure you’re always safe. He lets you choose the breed though.
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haravath0t · 3 years
Text
Maybe It’s Time
Pairing: a bit of Steve x Reader, but leaning towards Bucky x Reader in the end
Warning: angst, fluff in the end! Feelings...
A/N: So... another comfort fic... gotta thank @world-of-aus for helping me on this one! Bucket, thank you for literally being a real one and helping me through it all! I owe you so much girl! It’s been a hard one for me as of late folks, so this one kinda feels like a comfort fic to me personally. Kinda out of the blue, but as always, writing seems to be my escape. So for all who are going through something, I hope you know I am here for you and I am willing to lend an ear for you guys! I hope you all seek a bit of comfort through this one shot! Enjoy! 
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Bucky’s eyes gently opened, hearing something coming from the other room. Something that has to have become a regular thing for him now for a long while. Your piano playing. 
He recognized this piece more than ever: Debussy’s Clair de Lune.
He sat up gently on the edge of the bed, grunting softly while Alpine softly purred as she stirred herself awake. It was raining; a soft pitter patter of the rain falling against the glass windows accompanied with your soft playing would have been enough to have kept him asleep, his nightmares slowly fading away and going into the wonderful dreams that he had once dreamt of. However, tonight’s playing was different, for the once playful, joyous, and thoughtful tunes coming from those black and white keys have been melancholic for quite a while. Too long of a while. Tonight, something within Bucky Barnes compelled him to do something different from these previous nights. Rather than admire your playing from afar, letting your emotions run wild by yourself, he’ll make his presence known. 
Alpine meowed, watching her owner slowly put on his fuzzy slippers (courtesy of you) before she fell asleep. Bucky smiled sleepily, giving her one more pet before quietly making his way out of his room, and into the dark living room in your guys’ shared floor. The sight in front of him definitely reflected Clair de Lune: beautiful, yet filled with emotion, filled with sorrow. It hurt him even more to know just why you were hurting.
You were restless. You were critical. You tried, you fought, you pushed, you pulled. 
Yet it was never enough.
At the end of the day, you got hurt. You were thrown away, rendered useless to someone who you loved deeply and passionately. Someone who you devoted yourself to, thinking they’d dedicate themselves in the same manner. You remember that day clearly, feelings still fresh from a year ago.
You were still wrapping your head around the fact that you were part of the half who disappeared in the blip. However, thoughts were brushed aside as he smiled softly at you as Bruce got everything ready, coming towards you as you returned the smile on your face. You wrapped your arms around him, your soft eyes looking at him with love and devotion, as it always had. “Be careful,” you whisper into his lips with a smile. “I will, Y/N… don’t you worry.” He says with a smile nuzzling his nose against yours. “I just wanna ensure your safety, for your sake,” You reply with a giggle. “My sake or yours?” He questions with a much bigger smile. “How about we settle with both?” You whisper, your giggles ringing in Steve’s ears. He couldn’t help the long and loving kiss that was shared between the both of you before he went off to the platform. 
You watched your boyfriend, standing in his suit, Mjolnir in one hand and the case of the Infinity Stones in the other, standing in the middle of the platform with a determined look on his face. You smiled even more, for Steve Rogers, being himself, has managed to save the world once again with the Avengers. You smiled alongside Bucky and Sam who were watching him disappear out of sight. “And returning in 5… 4… 3… 2...1…” Bruce counts down, only for you three to see no one back on the platform. You began to worry. Did something go wrong? What happened? Is he okay? 
Your mind was laden with panic and it wasn’t until you saw a figure sitting alongside the lake, shield propped up next to him. Confusion laced your worried features, but the two men knew. Sam talked to him as you looked on in shock, mind still connecting things together. You shook your head in denial as you saw a wedding ring on his finger. At that moment you knew.
You weren’t enough.
You slowly made your way, deciding to be strong, heart wrenching when you saw this once burly, blond man now with wrinkles, haggard, and with a wedding ring. 
“Y/N,” he says, but you cut him off, forcing a smile on your face, forcing your tears to not fall down. 
“N-no. It’s okay… I.. I get it… I’m.. I’m happy for you, Steve.”
You hated it. You hated having to have your hand held by him one last time, a squeeze of hands quietly speaking of the terms that you both are now on. You were never his. Never. Peggy remained his one and true love that beat time and space. And who were you to argue? She rightfully gained her place. Maybe it was time for you to accept the fact that there was no room for you in Steven Grant Rogers’ life. 
But that didn’t stop the hurt that still clouds your mind and thoughts. The remembrance of the hurt and the deception on your side of the story was still fresh. The repeat of the memory merely adds salt to your still fresh wounds. It’s been inside you since then, the neverending ache courses through you. So you play. You play the grand piano and its keys with your heart out on your sleeve not caring for the sobs that leave your lips, hands gracefully touching the keys of the piano, a slow crescendo coming in as the feelings of hurt slowly grow. Your eyes stay shut as your left hand starts to move more and more, right hand playing chords and the sorrowful melody. By the time the climax of the song arrives, you are sobbing even more than before, body shaking as the pain takes on a more tangible form on your piano. Your head is swirling, your body feeling like it was going to float, you were so clouded in your mind, until a particular man with a metal arm sat quietly next to you, putting you back in your space, where you currently were.  
However, you stopped dead in your tracks, embarrassed that your best friend had caught you in this particular moment, so your eyes try their hardest to remain on the keys. You already knew that his ocean blue ones were staring at you. His metal hand carefully rests upon your right hand, lightly interlocking his fingers with yours. 
“I’m not over it either,” he whispers in your ear.
Again, you cry, turning your body slightly to cling to his figure. Cries slowly turn into sobs. Hugging Bucky for dear life, you said the things that have been in your head for so long. 
“B-Buck.. Why did he leave?! Why?! And when we just came back?! Why Peggy, Buck?! What does she have that I don’t?! What has our time together meant to him?! Is it because I’m not as skinny as her?! Is she smarter than me? Is she funnier? More humorous? Is she kinder? Is she-”
Bucky felt the same way. He knew how you felt. He felt that way about the punk too. He wasn’t thinking of Captain America, but Steve. The little kid from Brooklyn, the same guy who had asthma, who put newspapers in his shoes, who hid an extra key under a brick. He felt like he lost his place too. However, he knew how you felt was just as bad. He understood you. It pained him to see you crying. Admittedly enough, he only hoped that you look beautiful in his eyes despite your sobs and tears. A literal angel, he’d think to himself. Unfortunate that he can’t teach his best friend a thing or two about taking care of his girl. You were in pain for so long.
His hands cupped your wet cheeks and slowly wiped the tears with his thumbs, a tiny smile when he feels you relax to his touch, kissing your forehead to further soothe you. “Steve doesn’t know what was in front of the whole time, sweetheart,” he whispers. 
“He did… apparently I’m only a substitute till there was a way. That’s all I am to anyone. A substitute.”
“I never thought of you that way.” He admits quietly, so quietly, that only you both can hear, causing you to look up at him in surprise. “H-Huh? But…” “I said what I said, Y/N… I mean it. You were, are, and always will be such a sweet, kind, and beautiful dame. There’s no kind like you anywhere here, not even Peggy or anyone for that matter can replicate what you have sweetheart. So who cares who’s skinnier? Who cares if one is more funny? In the end of the day, we knew you did all you could. It hurts. I know. But, you’re gonna have that one guy who is gonna treat ya like no man ever could. I’ll make sure of that.” He whispers, looking at you dead in the eyes with understanding and love in his eyes. A small smile finally kisses your face. Not a fake one, but a small genuine one. One that only someone like James Buchanan Barnes would notice. “That’s my girl.” He whispers and smiles, hugging you once again.
He pulls away, starting to play the first few notes of Clair de Lune, eyes carefully watching yours, an invitation. You shyly joined in, allowing yourself to take your place and playing a part. You and James couldn’t help the smile that goes on your faces as it starts to progress. You watched as both his flesh and metal hand graced the keys effortlessly, nicely paired along with yours as they also graced the keys, completing this song’s melody. What was wreaking of pain and sorrow turned pensive, calming, even providing a form of resolution. You guys smiled as you both played your notes louder and louder the two of you effortlessly mirroring each other, no need to say the dynamic, the mood, the notes to play, it was all unplanned, yet it still sounded beautiful. A giggle leaves your mouth, another genuine one for the first time, which causes Bucky to smile big, happy to see you smiling again. He watches as your guys’ fingers glide through the keys, hands sometimes weaving in and out harmoniously, never causing extra struggle. 
“Thank you, James… I really really feel better after all of that” you say softly, letting yourself nuzzle your face into his torso, hugging the super soldier tightly. “You always know what to say to me. You always know what to do. Always have. Thank you,” You whisper, smiling softly as the man tightens his hold on you. You both chuckled when a yawn now leaves your lips, resulting in Bucky scooping you up bridal style. “Not a problem, sweetheart. I’m always gonna be here. M’not going anywhere I promise.” He says softly, yet in a determined tone. He vowed to himself no matter where he stood in your life, he was gonna make sure you were loved and cared for. He always wanted that for you. Always looked at you in a way he never thought he’d look at a woman. Even today the way he perceived you was the same: a kind, beautiful, giving, and optimistic person who was kind to anyone but herself. “Why don’t we get you to bed, huh? I think you deserve this to say the least.” He says softly, making his way through the hallway into your bedroom. 
“A-Actually. Do you think I can just lay with you tonight?” You ask shyly. You felt comfortable in his arms. He made you feel warm, protected. You didn’t want to let that go. Not now. Of course, Bucky could not say no, so he carried you to his room, where you both met a sleeping Alpine perched on her cute tower. You smiled as he laid you down gently before he laid next to you, an arm wrapped around your waist. “Thank you, Buck…you know I’m grateful for you,” you murmured sleepily, nuzzling into the crook of his neck and relaxing. Bucky only smiled and rubbed your back for comfort. “Never forget I’ll do anythin’ for you sweetheart. Promise.” He whispers, sleep taking over him a bit quicker than a normal night. You smiled as you watched his breathing steady out, knowing he was asleep. You couldn’t help the grin from ear to ear before you slept yourself. It will take a while for this pain of yours to end, but… maybe, just maybe it’s time for you to stop looking at what’s behind and what’s beyond. Maybe it’s time for you to rediscover your worth, who you can love and who can love you.  Maybe it’s time that you trust yourself, for you are worth it all and you alone is a good enough reason to live your life as it should. And maybe, just maybe… you’ll see where the brunette man with a metal arm in front of you will stand in your life. Just one step at a time and one day at a time, you tell yourself as you slowly drift into dreamland. However, you were happy, for this was the first night you felt like you were enough, and felt that hope that used to reside in your heart. For once in a long time, you didn’t feel the weight in your heart anymore, for behind you, Bucky Barnes was right behind you carrying it right with you.
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wenellyb · 2 years
Note
For the tfatws ask, 3, 13, 14, 17.
Hi Anon!!!
I'm sorry I'm a little (a lot) late but here are my answers!!!
3. what's your least favourite TFATWS episode?
I loved the show and all episodes but I have to say my least favorite episode was episode 4 because of Lemar's death. I hated that they did that.
13. would you have loved to see more of sharon? or was her part good enough?
Yes, to both, I do think her part was good but I also wish we got to see more of her. I think I'm the only one here who likes the plottwist of her being the Power Broker but I love it. Because she's not a villain villain, so the storylines they could come up with with this new situation are infinite. So I would say I liked her part in TFATWS because I liked her storyline but I definitely want to see more of her in upcoming shows/movies.
14. what's your opinion on zemo?
Oooh Anon, how do I reply to this without writing pages???
Short version: Love the character, hate the fandom.
Long version: This might raise some eyebrows, but Zemo is one of my favorite MCU characters, I really got in the MCU because of Anthony Mackie, and after seeing his promo with Seb for Civil War, and one of my favorite storylines in the movie was Zemo's ( not comics Zemo, I never read the comics, but MCU Zemo),him and T'Challa had the best backstories in my opinion. They really were the best part of the movie, and the scene at the end when he talks about how his son, wife and father were killed in Sokovia and T'Challa deciding to break the circle of vengeance was so emotional, so powerful, it didn't really feel like an MCU scene. So yeah, I have been a huge fan of MCU Zemo since then and I was thrilled to hear that he would be coming back in TFATWS. At least I was thrilled until the MCU fandom happened.
There is this observation I have made in fandoms, and funny enough I call it the "Zemo effect". And it means that there are some White characters the fandom will not care about, unless the only alternative is stanning a Black or non-White character. Let me explain this better with an example. In my opinion, the only reason why Kylo Ren, and the Reylo ship was so popular is because the only other alternatives as a protagonist or love interest was Finn, a Black character. Kylo Ren's backstory isn't even interesting, he's not Anakin Skywalker, he doesn't have a compelling backstory, except being a little *sshole who hates his parents for I don't know what reason. But somehow he managed to be one of the most popular characters and have so many White fans relate to him, why? Because Finn isn't White. This happens a lot in fandoms.
And it's the same with Zemo, Zemo wasn't very popular after Captain America Civil War, even though that's when his storyline was the most interesting, why? Because there were plenty of other White male characters Steve, Bucky, Tony, etc,... But, in the FATWS, Sam was Captain America, and suddenly Zemo's fandom grew like crazy? Because he had a nice coat and did that little dance?
And don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing anybody who liked Zemo after TFATWS, I like his character too, but from what I have seen whenever I went to the tag, TFATWS care about no one but Zemo, completely dismiss Sam or don't even talk about him, and when it comes to shipping, they ship him with who? Surprise, surprise, they ship him with the other White guy, a guy he had abused in the past.
And I'm going to say this, but please do not take this as any encouragement to ship Sam & Zemo because it's not hahaha, but logically, if you were to ship Zemo with anyone in the show, it would make more sense to ship him with Sam, they had more interesting scenes together, there is more of a potential with Sam and Zemo's interactions, and last but not least, Sam and Zemo don't share a history of abuser/victim, unlike Zemo and Bucky.
All of this blablabla to say that I like Zemo's character, I've always liked him, but it's a real struggle going into his tag after the show aired, so I just don't bother.
I can only trust Zemo fans who were fans of him before the show aired.
17. what's a scene you'd add to an episode?
If you don't mind I'll make this one short because I got the question a few times already :). A scene between Sam and Steve, set after Endgame and before TFATWS. A flashback scene of what happened between Sam and Bucky after Endgame. More flashback scenes of Sam after the blip!
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