#or having my house be literally flooded i just. for the most part dont say much. i guess i might look worried but it's like. oh ok. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dragonbleps · 1 year

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Okay SO, it's a wall of text, so don't feel obligated to read it :'D

TL;DR-- fixing 2 sprinklers took all day for various reasons due to a couple mistakes/accidents, and we still have 2 more to do. I'm tired. And not exactly sure why I'm supposed to want to own a house when there's all this pain-in-the-ass maintenance.

Dad took today off so we could fix one (1) sprinkler that we knew was broken. I woke up at about 10am and after feeding the dogs we immediately went to work.

First, I cleaned out the "globe", the part that would normally house the filter for the water, except someone stole ours ages ago for some bizarre reason. It was disgusting :) I've never seen so many colors of algae in the same place.

Then dad went to turn the sprinkler sections on one by one to check if there were any other sprinklers that needed fixing. It's a finicky process because apparently some part of the switch already doesn't work and dad has just kind of Dealt With It, and the sprinklers sections can't really be manually turned on one by one. More like, turn one on, turn it off, wait for the water pressure to build back up again, turn it on, and hope you waited long enough for it to activate the next section rather than the one you just got done checking.

There are 5 sections of sprinklers. After going through 4 sections, we found 4 sprinklers that weren't working correctly. 2 were just not spraying water at all, which is less of an issue. 1 was not coming out of the sprinkler head correctly and was just flooding the sidewalk. And the last 1 was just shooting water straight up because the sprinkler head was completely missing. (Sometimes if the lawn guys run it over with their lawnmower, the blades just chew it up and we're not notified either bc they don't want to tell us or they just dont notice.)

Dad went to switch to the 5th sprinkler section, and nothing happened. None of the sprinklers came up at all. He figured it was a failure to switch that was the issue, apparently something that'd gone wrong with it before. It was at this point he called an irrigation professional, planning on having him look at both the switching device (idk wtf it's called) and possibly replace the sprinklers that were broken.

We had to clean up a corner of the garage (which we messily use for storage) to make it easily accessible for the sprinkler guy. He arrived just as we were finishing up sweeping the area. He went to check the pump area and showed us how the globe was cracked. And, in fact, it had only JUST cracked, he said, because the slightest crack will prevent suction and water flow. So, literally as dad was switching from the 4th section to the 5th section, the globe cracked.

He attempted a quick fix of applying glue to the crack, which KIND of worked? But not for very long, and we'd have to prime the pump every time we'd want to use it, to help it along. Dad understandably didn't want that.

Sprinkler Guy doesn't have the right globe for replacement in his truck, but knows where to get one. Dad says okay. Guy says it might take about an hour, and leaves.

He comes back roughly an hour later with the part, installs it, then we check each section of sprinklers again. They work (well, aside from the ones that are broken of course). Mom comes home from work in the meantime and goes inside. Sprinkler guy gets paid for his work, leaves, and we go inside to rest for a moment.

We have to go to Home Depot to look for sprinkler heads to replace the ones that are broken. We decide to also eat dinner while we're out. So we go to Home Depot, go to eat food, then go back home.

Me and dad go outside and start digging up the 2 sprinklers that need the most immediate fix. Dad gets a shovel/spade thing and starts shoveling, while I get my gardening spades to get in closer around the sprinkler. Dad can't bed down, so I'm kneeling or sitting on the pavement doing this. While digging up one sprinkler, we found a separate unattached sprinkler head in the dirt next to it? Like whoever have replaced it previously had just left the old one buried in the dirt rather than throwing it away.

So we get the 2 main sprinklers dug out and removed, and pull out the sprinkler head replacements. And they're the wrong size.

Dad has to go back to Home Depot while I wait and try not to make eye contact to people going on walks who are walking by the two gaping dirt holes in our lawn. It was starting to get dark.

Dad gets back and we finally start replacing the two sprinkler heads. One was rather straightforward, although it was a pain in the ass to get it to screw on straight. Then we have to replace the dirt, and put the concrete donut back in place, continuing to put dirt and sod tucked in close to everything so it doesn't move.

The second one had a part of the previous sprinkler broken off into the pipe. I try for probably 10 minutes to try to get the piece out with what tools I had, but it was stuck tight. Cylinder inside a cylinder, yknow. I go back inside, grab a couple of knives bc idk which is best for cutting the pipe, and ask my mom to come outside and bring a flashlight to hold.

Dad starts cutting the pipe, mom's holding the flashlight, and finally the pipe gets cut and we can start putting the new sprinkler in place. Same as last time, dirt and sod and the concrete donut back in place.

Then we could finally go and check the sprinklers again, switching them on and off and trying to get each section to come on so we could make sure we put the new ones in right. They came on, and the sprinklers were all put in the correct direction. The only thing we'd have to change is the distance which the water from the sprinkler covers. It shoots too far haha

Came inside, dad took his shower, I took my shower, I fed the dogs, and now I'm finally able to chill for the night =u=

He wants to change the sprinkler distance tomorrow, and I think he might want to replace the last two sprinklers tomorrow, too. We'll see.

#missy rambles

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v-gersix · 3 years

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#just thinkign about how like anytime anyhting super serious happens like. my mom having to get taken by ambulance to the er!#or having my house be literally flooded i just. for the most part dont say much. i guess i might look worried but it's like. oh ok.#it's just .-.#idk i feel like i should react more to things but whatever

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twinkleallnight · 3 years

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I am sorry for the long break and thank you if you are still there looking for the update.

Marshmallow

Story till now: Drake has build up his individual life as a veterinary and is working at the royal palace. His childhood friends Liam( having a social season), Max ( sponsoring Riley) and Olivia ( a mystery, may be they had a past) are moving on in their lives. Drake has met Hana and is attracted to her but is confused. At the Beaumont bash he is seated with Hana and Olivia for dinner. God help him.!

For previous chapters: Catch up here

The Debate

Book: The Royal Romance AU

Pairing: Drake x Hana.

Word count: 1,681

Disclaimer: All characters belong to pixelberry.

Rating: Mature

Thank you @yourmajesty09 for beta reading!

“Hell, this is going to be one crazy night!” I shuffle in my chair with discomfort.

“Why now, Mr Walker? You seem to have forgotten too soon all the fun we had. Together.” Livy raises her left brow, an indication of an impending doom she is about to cast.

Hana clears her throat, making Livy shift her gaze and she aims at Hana now. “A very good evening to you too, Lady Hana! Your presence has not gone unnoticed. I wonder what your parents have to say for your blooming relationship with a commoner.” I wince at that but I think its better to ignore.

“He has shown more integrity than any of the nobles here. I am sure they will be pleased to meet him, not that it is any of your business.” Hana retorts.

Hana 1, Olivia 0.

I make a mental note and quietly sip the hot and sour soup in front of me.

The next moment Hana’s eyes are warm as she smiles at me. Her hand rests on my thigh. “He is a thorough gentleman. I have known him for six months now.”

“And I know him since I was six years old.” Livy says in a cold voice.

Olivia 1

“I am not counting quantity. It’s the quality time that matters. And I am blessed to have it all.” Hana keeps looking into my eyes, totally ignoring the fiery duchess. I try giving her the pleading look, in an effort to tell her about the unconquerable Nevrakis. In vain!

Hana 2 Olivia 1. I quietly stick to counting.

Hana seems to be unstoppable today as she continues, “We can talk anything on earth with each other.”

Livy cuts through, “We never felt the need to talk, it was understood.”

I groan but the girls are not even noticing me anymore. Livy continues her attack, “You sound like that stupid girl Anna hardly knowing her fake Prince Hans.” My eyes go wide, it’s unlike Livy to be quoting a fairy-tale. But she is not giving me any heed, and rather fans her hand casually at me with her sharp words. “Just because he moves around with a prince doesn’t make him a prince material”.

Hana “Why does only a prince complete a fairy tale? I am proud to have the one you call a commoner, to sum up my tale. And it’s not just about knowing him. It’s the comfort he gives me.

This is really hot and sour; I don’t know if I am relishing the sour taste of the soup or the heated talk between the ladies. Wait, how is this happening? Since when did I become so much important between ladies? Wasn’t this Liam’s routine?

I lose the count of the score of the debate.

----------

As the dinner wraps up, we are still at the end of the hall, standing near our table. Bertrand is bidding farewell to the king and queen as the formal party comes to an end. Liam is standing next to him with Riley on his side. They share a joke and smile at each other, lost in their own world.

Hana winds her hands around my arm and is unable to contain herself. “Aww they are so sweet together!”

Livy standing on my other side, still in bad mood says, “What’s sweet about it? Giggling like fools all the time.”

“That’s what love does. Makes you happy.” I finally speak. Livy's eyes narrow down on me and she storms away to stand with Madeleine ahead.

“So much for a peaceful dinner!” I sigh. “What’s gotten into you?” I chuckle at Hana.

She sniggers, “I wish she accepts herself. I don’t know what she is trying to hide behind her fierce look. She is sweet inside, isn’t she?”

My gaze settles at Livy's tall figure standing at a distance. Many fond memories of the soft- and warm-hearted girl I knew once, flood my mind. “ Yes, she has been the most caring and loving girl I have known as I grew up.” I place my free hand on Hana’s hands that are still clinging on to my arm.

We all move to the Grand hall for the after dinner festivities. It is more of chaos with everyone engaging in the revelry.

As Hana is pulled into a zig with Max and Riley, I excuse myself to the bar. Liam joins me in some time. “Enjoyed your dinner?” he smirks.

“Seems the king takes pleasure in pain of his subjects.”

He gives out a hearty laugh. “Your expressions were quite comprehensive. You should be glad you were left in one piece after that interaction with the Nevrakis Duchess.”

“I don’t know what I have done, to be her target all the time!”

“She is going through something, I guess. She should be back soon. Don’t worry.” Liam reassures.

“I wish I could help her.” I sigh. “But right now, I need to concentrate on something else.”

“Something or someone?” Liam asks.

“Yes, someone I mean.”

“And does this someone happens to be Lady Hana?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes boss! Hana it is. Since her last conversation with her parents, she seems to be more bold, more rebellious and aggressive.”

“And what are you scared of? Commitment?”

“I don’t know exactly. She is here on her parent’s behest who are looking for some prince or Duke or a lord as a match for her.”

“Well even my parents expected that. Marrying into a noble house. Yet, here I am…” he says fondly looking at Riley.

“Hana belongs to a very different part of the world, Liam, where it’s union of families and not just two people. The equations, the restrictions, the complications are all whirling up and my own feelings feel like being curbed under all those expectations.”

“Why don’t you take one step at a time? Start by speaking out your feelings first to the lady. You can deal with other matters later.”

“Hmm.”

“I think time to stop pondering and take some action.” He looks across my shoulder. I turn around to find Hana walking towards me. “All the best.” Liam whispers in my ear and walks away.

Hana sways smiling at me. “Hana, how much did u drink?”

“ Enough to forget the worries and enjoy the moments.”

I look around and find that most of the guests are falling off one by one. I sit with Hana at the bar as she continues saying silly things in her tipsy mood. After few more shots, she manages a sprig of mint from the bartender and starts plucking out the leaves. “He loves me, he loves me nottt, he loves me, he loves me….”

“Hana, what are you trying?” I interrupt by holding her fingers plucking at the leaves.”

“Shhh! I am trying to find out if Drake loves me.” She whispers a note higher.

“Why don’t you ask him?”

“He won’ttt tell me.” She says with extra emphasis on the T.

“How do you know that if you never asked him?”

“His horse told me. You know his favourittte one. Amber. She told me aaaall.” Hana dragged her last word.

“And just how did this Amber tell u all?”

“As a matter of facttt, she neighed.” Hana explained in worldly wise manner. How can she be so cute and stupid at the same time, I thought? Drunk Hana is cute!

“She said that he won’t tell?” I am finding this charming.

“Yessss.”

“Well, I think you should try asking him once. I am sure he won’t hide.”

“He won’tttt.”

“Nope.”

She suddenly straightens up, “Drake Walker, do you…”

“Not here, Hana. Not now.” I literally snub her. I am rather taken aback by her action. I am scared. I need to accept.

She pouts her lips and slumps back on her stool. I cover her tiny hands with mine and look into her honey orbs.

“Talk to him when you are sober and I promise he will open up to you.”

“Promisss?” Her eyes sparkle.

“Promise!”

Soon it’s just the hosts, Liam and Hana left around me.

Hana takes another shot that Max offers. “Hana, I think you have had enough.” I try to warn her but she is distracted by Max as he starts bragging about his peacocks that he has as pets.

“Aww, that must be so cute.” Hana squeals like a child. “Wǒ ài xióngmāo. Tāmen zuì kě'ài”

“Hana, English please. None of us understands Chinese.”

“Panda, I would love to have pandas as pets. They are cute."

Riley hugs or I may say literally hangs with her arms around Liam’s neck as she purrs, “No one is as cute as my blue -eyed beauty.” She pinches Liam’s cheeks.

Amused, Liam looks at me, “Guess we are the only two sober here.”

“I am awake and in senses too.” Max

Hana swings on my arm. “Would you like to have pandas?” She bats her eyes innocently at me.

“Sure, we can talk about it later. We need to get you back to the palace now. It’s late.” I push towards the exit.

Riley is ecstatic as she stands with Max to see us off while we get into the limo.

Hana cuddles up to me and Liam sits across grinning at me.

Hana’s eyes are almost drooping as she lifts her head and nails it, “Drake, I wanna be your duck!”

I slap my forehead and instantly plead, "Hana, you are better talking Chinese please.”

Liam has covered his mouth and is unsuccessfully trying to control his laughter. Max is doubled over, laughing out while Riley tries to decipher what just happened. I wish everyone was as drunk as Hana at that moment. She tilts her head on my shoulder and shuts her eyes blissfully. Thankfully the vehicle moves and I am relieved.

By the time we reach the palace Hana has passed out. Liam helps me by directing us through the backdoor entry so that no one notices as I carry Hana in my arms to her room.

I tuck her in her bed and quickly retrieve to my room.

My phone buzzes with a message alert.

I keep my phone aside and crash down in the bed. I groan and speak to the walls, 'Good night Livy. Dont have the energy right now for the debate.'

ToTags: @ao719 @aloneautumn @bebepac @charlotteg234 @choicesficwriterscreations @choiceskatie @cordonia-gothqueen @cordonianroyalty @drakewalker04 @gkittylove99 @glaimtruelovealways @kat-tia801 @hopefulmoonobject @hopelessromanticmonie @iam-the-kind-and-thoughtful @idontknowwhysblog @islandcrow @jovialyouthmusic @jaxsmutsuo @kingliam2019 @lovablegranny @mrswalkers-blog @mom2000aggie @no-one-u-know @ntoraplayschoices @princessleac1 @ritachacha @speedyoperarascalparty @shanzay44 @texaskitten30 @queenrileyrose @sanchita012 @sfb123 @theroyalheirshadowhunter @xpandabeardontcarex @yourmajesty09

#pixelberry #playchoices #the royal romance #drake walker #trr #trr fandom #twinkleallnight #hana lee #olivia nevrakis

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cheseyre · 4 years

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good news, sluts! my brain's no longer being completely stupid (only mostly), i've seen the new asides and...have some thought-y thot thoughts:

*deep inhale*

Okay, first things first: this art style is soooo fucking cUTE and I'm a jealous, squealing bitch. Anyone who knows who the artist is, could you link me to them, stat? I think Thomas mentioned them at the beginning of the ep, but nYeh, brain hurt, doesn't wanna do wooork-

Okay, I'll admit, I was a little...apprehensive when I first saw the thumbnail and title. Part of it's just me being a bitter Remus Stan, but also...okay, deep breaths, controversial opinion time, get ready:

I don't ship Prinxiety.

Like, at all.

I can see the appeal, and these dorks were so very, VERY cute in this particular ep, but I was honestly turned off by the ship long ago due to how overwhelmingly popular it is and how some fans characterize these two and treat this relationship as if it's the only valid one, y'know, the works—slight tangent, but that's also why I don't ship Logicality or Remile. I honestly vibe much better with ships like Roceit or Analogical, y'know?

Cutting in for another brief tangent: I'm surprisingly okay with Demus/Dukeceit/Receit/Trashnoodle/Whatever-Their-Ship-Name-Is-Oh-God-Why-Do-They-Have-So-Many-Fucking-Names; maybe it's cause they haven't actually interacted in canon and the fan content gives me such good Gay Disney Villain content, idk man im weird—).

Still, their interactions were both hilarious and sweet and like I said, I see the appeal, it's just not my cup of tea. y'all Prinxiety fans got fucking FED and I'm happy for you nerds. Enjoy ze happy boys!

I guess another factor in my...low-key hesitance when I first saw what the ep was about is that...okay, get ready, another controversial opinion, le gasp: well, I'm not a big Virgil fan. In fact, at times, he swaps places with Patton as my least favorite sides—especially with some of his recent behavior in eps like DWIT (the "prohibit your breathing comment" really triggered me, for example). Sometimes, his attitude, especially around other sides like Roman or Janus, reminds me a little too much of my sister, who I don't have...a very good relationship with. Add to that how the more...intense side of the fandom has a disturbing tendency to turn him into the 'uwu precious woobie emo baby who can do no wrong' while unnecessarily villainizing other CERTAIN sides in the process, and...I think you all see where I'm going with this little rant 😅

However, upon actually watching the ep, he wasn't...that bad? I don't think? I enjoyed watching him be a flustered, disaster-y mess and genuinely excited at the end, his interactions with Roman were nice enough, and him literally pushing Thomas to make a move with Nico despite his obvious panic attack was a nice moment of genuine character development. I like seeing that, that's the good shit right there. And him being all flustered and shit, and smiling so much at the end of the vid was just...well, adorable. This man has no fucking right to be this cute, my god

alsoooo

pURPLE EYESHADOW

PURPLE EYESHADOW HE LOOKS?? SO GOOD?? WTF?? SLAY EMO, SLAAAAAAAY FUCK, DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE TO CHANGE MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME NOW?

alsoooo

hAPPY ROMAN

YESSSSS~ MAH BOI MAH SON MAH DUMB BITCH HIMBO PRINCE MAH EXTRA MESSY CINNAMON ROLL

ITS BEEN SO LONG

AND HIS LITTLE HEART EYES THROUGHOUT THE VID, OH MY GOD-

IMMA JUST IGNORE THAT "ADDING [MISTAKE] TO THE LIST" COMMENT I AM LOOKING AWAY I DO NOT SEE IT LALALALALA

THOMATHY, SIR, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING THESE TWO GAY IDIOTS SO BAEBY

Okay, but Virgil not realizing that "cyberstalking in real life" is literally just stalking is both a big ass mood and further proof that, yes, Logan is indeed the only one holding the braincell out of this disaster of a lot. God help them all if he ducks out in the next ep.

👀

And Thomas x Trash Can is my new OTP. I dub thee ✨ "Trashmas" ✨

we sTAN TRASHMAS

Wait, does that mean Remus actually WAS in the ep? Cause, y'know, trash man?

hmmm

👀 👀

Okay, okay.

With how much Virgil and Roman were going off about Thomas constantly lying, I was (understandably) a tad bit disappointed my snek son didn't even make a fucking cameo, but y'know what? In hindsight, I'm okay with this it's fineee~

He was just off playing with shadow puppets and stealing money from us desperate, content-starved peasants with his sheer extra-ness and, honestly? Gotta respect the hustle.

Get that precious, precious coin, dapper snake! Wring us poor losers dryyyy!

*evil snek laugh*

Also, this is a breather ep and adding Janus in probably would've caused unnecessary drama with the Roceit breakup and the constant antagonism between Virgil and him. It probably would've distracted from the point of the ep (flirting with social anxiety, exactly what it says in the tin)—much like it wasn't really Virgil or Remus's place to show up during POF. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense. Sorry, brain going brr-

Still, I can't believe the "Fuck Janus Sanders" Club is actually canon now 😂

God, first Patton in a skirt and now this.

Thomas Sanders, you delight in fucking feEDING this gremlin nest of a fanbase, don’t you? You RELISH our screams of joy and pain and suffering, dON’T YOU?

What's next, actual canonical Janus and Remus interaction? Patton saying the fuck word? The Dragon Witch comes back? Janus's bowler hat gains sentience and takes over the world, Doris-style? What do you have planned, Thomas? Joan? WHAT ART THOU PLANNING, I MUST KNOW YOU HEATHENS YOU FIENDS-

And Virgil's little "would it be fair to him" comment, tho.

👀

Like, I get in the context of the ep, he was likely talking about Nico and how it wouldn’t be good for a potential relationship with Tomas to be founded on lies, but still...my anxceit heart aches, man.

Gimme that sweet, sweet angst with a side of mutual regret and possible future reconciliation and maybe something more wink wink nudge nudge on top, pls

...and fries.

Honestly, tho, that entire bathroom monologue was fucking beautiful, man. And relatable, too—i can't tell you how many times I've talked to myself in public restrooms because I just didn't know how to get the words I wanted to say out. It's...kind of embarrassing, tbh

Speaking of embarrassing, uh, crying stall guy.

Just...

Crying Stall Guy

Like, I was expecting someone to come out the bathroom stall after Thomas stopped talking, but...I honestly wasn't expecting that. God, that whole scene was so cringe worthy and fucking hilarious

Honestly, Thomas in the ep in general was a huge ass mOOD and we collective gay/bi disasters ALL related with him, and if you say you don't, you're either lying to yourself or a demon.

There is no in between

sorry I don't make the rules

Like, I get this series is literally a gay disaster talking to himself for thirty minutes or longer, but like- EMPHASIS on the 'disaster' part 😂

Like...Thomas, you're lucky you're such a goddamn bean, because GOD, I cringing so hard when he first started talking to Nico

Although, I too have apologized profusely for genuine mistakes and am a flustered bi mess around my crush sooo

😅

And god, Roman's "thirty = old man" jokes made me feel old...and I literally just turned twenty, like, come on, man!

Maybe that's because I was literally watching this ep after finishing my ACT and had been sitting with a bunch of high schoolers, with their tiny fucking desks and tiny fucking water fountains smeh

*clears throat*

Anyways, uh, we STAN Nico Pintrovert Florés in this house

He gives me such big Carlos from WTNV vibes for some reason and this makes me sooo happy

and YESS, he's a WRITER

And he's??? So sweet?? A pure bean?? Just sits on his laptop at the mall food court all day, like a god-fucking iCON?? A Nightmare Before Christmas fan?? weARS GLASSES??

my hEART

*cries*

The fandom seems torn between "Nicomas" and "Karrot Kings" as a ship name atm—personally speaking, I'm casting my vote for the latter

*crosses fingers* please dont be another janus x remus multiple ship name issue guys, please please please I can't keep track of them all-

*clears throat*

On that note, I'm guess I'm gonna go try and whoo over my crush with carrots now. If THIS disaster can do it and make it actually fucking work, god damnit, so cAN I

Meanwhile, in hell, my brain's just screaming "CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST-"

God, I hope Nico isn't just a one-shot character, he's too pure and Thomas and him are adorable gay Disney fans and I stan

Oh, I wonder how the other sides'll react to him.

Wait.

Oh god.

This ep just unleashed a new fresh hell of potential Nico x Sides ships, hasn't it?

Welp, time to prepare for ze incoming flood of fanfics, I guess. I'll get my umbrella and rain boots.

That last shot of Virgil during the endcard was so fucking ominous oh my god mom im scared can you come pick me up-

Goddammit, Thomas and Joan, I'm NOT fucking ready to be traumatized again, fUCK

I wish I wasn't a broke ass university student so I could contribute to Thomas's gloriously extra Patreon—both so I can support my favorite content creators who make this amazing blessed content and also, to join my boi Janus in fucking destroying society by giving money to the people who actually deserve it, fuck YOU GOVERNMENT-

Okay.

New headcanon time as to why Patton, Remus, and Logan weren't in the ep: they were helping Jan film that Patreon promotional video.

Remus directed it, Logan helped with the lighting and script, and Patton was just there as the cheerleader.

The reason Janus made a dog with shadow puppets wasn't just to flaunt his deity status and prove how he is truly above us mere wretched mortals

despite that being the absolute truth and we all know it, don't lie to yourselves

No, it was really him trying to do something cute and silly for Patton, because Moceit rights, daMMIT

*inhales*

noww

guys, gals, and nonbinary pals

it’s time forr

the most wonderful time of the yearrr

WAITING FOR THE NEXT EPISODE

Step right up, folks! Hear ye, hear ye, my prediction for the next episode: Prinxiety v. Moceit! With special guest stars: Karrot Kings vibing in adorable gay and Intrulogical, bitter at being excluded aGAIN

Who will win? Who will lose?

here’s a hint: we all will because in this sick twisted game they are no winners only losers-

Place your bets, folks! ✨

Haha im not readyyy~

tl;dr

this episode has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and ended my suffering—an adorable calm before the... angsty fucking shitstorm that’s coming far too soon. Prinxiety stans, enjoy your food. Place an 'F' in the chat for me and my fellow grieving Remus stans. Trashmas is the true OTP, but Karrot Kings is cute too I guess. I've only had Nico Florés for 24 minutes, but if anything happens to him, I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself. Purple eyeshadow Virgil makes me question my sexuality aGAIN, and happy gay disney prince rights y'all. Say a big ole 'fuck you' to capitalism by giving your local dapper snake moneys. Concussion makes brain go brr and imma go buy some carrots and be gay now.

psst hey @quarantinevibes2020 you wanna join me in being disaster-y? i’ll bring my best gay stare and you bring the wine

Until next time, my lovelies! ~ Ches 🖤

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criminally--reid · 4 years

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sex and booze

god that's such a shit title I'm sorry

""Ay I’m the one who requested the southern reader thing and um since I’m DUMB I neglected to ask if it could be smut?""

I cant find the first part of the ask bcos i suck? but yeh, here's ur fic bb:')

°•○●○•°

Pairing; s7 spencer x fem!reader

Warnings; drunk?sex, alcohol consumption, unprotected sex, (the sex scene is literal TRASH lmao dont mind me)

Word count; 1.4k (1,405)

°•○●○•°

"I'm going up."

"What- no you're not."

"Watch me."

And watch you he does.

He watches the way you drunkenly sway your hips all the way to the small stage at the far side of the bar. He watches as he say your nerves slowly settle in; your palms growing sweaty, and your consistent throat clearing.

He watches as they soon fade away when the beginning to your favorite country sing comes on. Swiping your clammy hands on your jeans, you grab the microphone, letting the song consume you, and your angelic voice fills the room. To keep the nerves away, you make eye contact with Spencer all the way at the back of the bar.

It's just you two. Everyone else disappears as you sing to him. The room previously filled with unknown faces and blitzing bodies grows quiet.

Spencer raises his glass in your direction; an unreciprocated toast.

You shut your eyes as the memories flow through you as the song runs on. All the times you spent with your father, grazing the fields behind your house. Picking daisies with the summer wind sweeping your hair; the sun casting a gentle warmth on your skin. The times you spent with your mother, deweeding the flowerbeds that adorned the front of your house. The last time you saw any of your family this song played. You and your parents were all piled in the front of the truck, warm summer sun engulfing you in a hug, this song playing softly on the radio as the truck bumps and bounces down the rocky dirt road. What you'd give to be back home, down south with your family, away from all the negativity of your job.

Not that you dont love your job. You were beyond grateful for all the opportunities joining the BAU had given you; you even formed a second family with your teammates. The BAU family just wasn't the same at your own.

All too soon, the song ends, and you're grown up again. Far away from all the blissful moments fr ok m when you were younger, back to being an adult in ty he heart of DC, drunkenly singing a country song at a karaoke bar. Reality comes flooding back as people applaud and your team goes wild. Oddly enough, Spencer's the quietest. You try to initiate eye contact with him again from your spot so far away from the table, but he averts his eyes, avoiding your gaze. You waltz back to your table and take your seat beside Spencer.

"What's wrong lover boy?"

"I- uh- nothing," he gulps.

"What- did I not do good?" An overly expressive pout falls on your lips.

"No, no no of course not. You were great! I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"About you."

"There's gotta be more than just me bouncin' around in your big brain," you counter with a drunken giggle.

"Well, true, but a lot of the time it's just you." He looks at you fondly through hooded eyes, admiring your features in the cascading yellow bar light. "But to answer your question, I was thinking about how hot you looked." Your face goes flush as he continues on. "How your jeans look on you. The way you swayed your hips as you sang. All I could think about was how much I want to go home and fuck you."

"Spence, I-"

"But sadly I can't."

"Why?"

"You're drunk, y/n."

"Wha- no I'm not!" You laugh and lightly shove his shoulder.

"No sober version of you would've gotten up there and done that," he counters.

"Touchè, Doctor Reid."

"We can still.."

"That's like taking advantage of you. Not tonight."

"Come onnn," you drag out in protest, and move your lips to his ear. "I want you, Spencer. You know I do."

"We can't- you know th-"

"I'm not getting undrunk any time soon, so the only solution to our pre-dick-ament. Ahahahaah get it? Anyways the only solution is to get you on my level, pretty boy."

"So an even playing field makes this better?"

"Exactly."

His eyebrows sprung up the cute way they always do when he's thinking. "This is such a bad idea."

He stands up from his seat excusing the both of you from the group. You grab his hand and walk steadfast to the bar. The next hour or so is spent buying spencer drinks. Conversations become slower and less coherent, and the two of you are always pushed up against each other. Most onlookers would think it's cute, but in all actuality you're both keeping each other upright.

"I think it's time to go," Spencer says from his seat on the bar stool beside you.

"Yeah, uh I'll go get Hotch."

You stumble up from your seat and set on a quest to find Hotch. Spencer grabs your hand to get your attention. You look to him and he's pointing back to the tables where you all had originally been sitting.

Makes sense.

"Hey, Hotch!" You chirp, drumming lightly on his shoulder to get his attention. "Can you, uh, take me and Spence home. I think we've had enough."

"Yeah," he huffs. "I think you have, too. Anyone else ready to go?"

Garcia, Emily, and JJ all shake their heads 'no', and Hotch says he'll meet them back here. The three of us head out to the SUV, and spend the next twenty minutes getting home in silence.

"Home sweet home," you say as you begin to bask in the familiar warmth of your home. The smell of your favorite candles burning on the coffee table. Turning to Spencer, you wrap your arms around his neck and place a chaste kiss to his liquor flavored lips.

"Y/n, we don't have to-"

"I want to. Besides, were like the same amount of drunk right now. It's fine." You meet his eyes with a smile and a drunken giggle.

"You're so chaotic." He quickly places his lips back on yours, and your hands fly up to tangle in his hair. Lips meet teeth and tongue as the two of you make your way further into the house; into the living room and o to the couch.

With spencer beneath you and you on his lap the kiss continues. You begin to move yourself on his thigh causing him to groan. He plants a harsh slap on your ass, and you jump; only for him to grab your hips and pull you back down onto his thigh even harder.

The two of you remove your clothes rather quickly. Shirts flying, pants being flung, underwear being removed haphazardly. Soon the two of you are start naked, and you're sinking down on Spencer's length.

"Fuck," he chokes out as you engulf him. "You feel so fucking good."

"Spence.." You throw your head back in ecstasy, and Spencer leans up, attaching his lips to your neck. He grips your hips as you rock back and forth, faster and faster with each go.

"Jesus- fuck! I've been needing this all day," Spencer says between gasps and moans.

"M-me too."

Your pace over Spencer doesn't slow, and the constant friction between you too is bringing you closer and closer to your orgasm. You reach your hand in front of you and start to rub quick circles on your sensitive nub.

"Spencer, I'm gonna cum," you cry out, feeling that knot in your stomach begin to unravel.

"Gonna cum for me? Hmm? Gonna cum all over my cock?"

"Yes- God!"

"Go ahead, baby." On cue, you release around him; your juices flowing all over his lap. You collapse down onto him, heaving and out of breath. "Look at me.. Tongue out." You remove your face from the crook of his neck to look at him, mouth hm open wide and tongue stuck out. "Swallow," he commands after spitting onto your tongue. He then grabs your hips forcing you to move on him again; chasing his own release. Not too long afterwards, he loses his composure and crumbles beneath you as he releases inside you.

You collapse onto his chest once again, breathing sporadic. "That was.." you begin but then trail off.

"Yeah. It was." Spencer adds, rubbing your back.

"Can we stay here like this? I'm exhausted."

"We gotta get cleaned up," Spencer prompts you up off his lap before getting up himself and grasping your hand. "Let's go take a bath. We smell like sex and booze."

#cm #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #smut #fan fiction #self insert fanfic #mgg #matthew gray gubler #derek morgan #penelope gacia #jj jareau #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #david rossi #request comp.

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elliot-orion · 4 years

Note

Can you answer 1, 5, and 44 for all those characters you mentioned?

heck yea! thanks! this is going to get very long tho so brace yourselves lol. I’m going to do them grouped by characters.

Ben

1. What is one word to shut them up?

I’m going to assume this means like a word that gets them to stop talking for a not so great reason and not just “quiet!” but i might be wrong and just be in the mood for some angst. For Ben, it’s kind of moot because they don’t talk, but saying anything at all with an angry tone would definitely get them to freeze up.

5. List 3 fears; one surface-level fear, one repressed fear, and one deep dark fear.

Oh my god you have no idea how perfect this question is because fear is a Huge aspect of this story considering Ben is Nightmare and their powers completely revolve around fear. Ok so, surface fear is sleeping, which has a very not surface level reason, but i’d still count it. They will do fucking anything to not sleep (tho funny enough they don’t drink caffeine, it sends their powers all wack). A repressed fear... hmm im not sure if this means like a fear they don’t acknowledge or fear that they have but don't know the reason for. I’m going to go with it just being a slightly less bad but still big fear, and/or something they don’t know the reason for but still are afraid of if i can think of something. So for repressed fear, it’d be showing their wrists. They don’t know why it’s so anxiety provoking for them, they never cut and their only bad scars are on their neck not their wrists, but if they aren’t wearing long sleeves or dont have bracelets covering their wrists then they get antsy and anxious. For Deep Dark Fear, i could list just about any of the fears Carter left them with, sure, but the Carter shit really falls under the “trauma” category rather than simple “fear” category since the reason they are afraid of shit like making noise and people being mad is because of their trauma. So i’m going to go with their powers. Their powers scare the shit out of them, partially bc they literally see and hear everyone’s worst nightmares whenever they are near someone. they are constantly surrounded by fear and always have been. that’s fucking awful honestly. but also bc when THEY get scared, other people suffer since they are an empathetic type. and they dont want to hurt anyone. So... yea.

44. What’s one thing they wish they could do more often, but can’t?

We’re back to the sleep thing here. god this kid needs a five day nap, they are always exhausted. But dreams are Carter’s domain, and if they sleep, he can find them, hurt them, whatever he wants. So they can’t, not until Carter is gone.

Oliver

1. What is one word to shut them up?

Ollie has a few words/phrases that almost always will send them into the past at some point. “Duck!” or “Grenade!” or anything that might be shouted on a battlefield, certain quotes from historical figures, some names or dates, stuff like that. He goes nonverbal when he’s particularly lost, so that’s a surefire way to get him to shut up.

5. List 3 fears; one surface-level fear, one repressed fear, and one deep dark fear.

Ok so, surface-level is ovens. He will not use an oven, or any microwaves, or any kitchen appliances that could start a fire. He also refuses to take a bath and prefers someone being in the other room when he takes showers. This is 100% because he gets lost in time so easily that he’ll forget what’s going on in the present time. I cannot stress to you how many times this kid has almost set his house on fire bc he got lost in 1620 and forgot he had the oven on. Baths usually make him head back to a time with lots of water, be it in the middle of a fucking ocean or during a flood or whatever, and he hates that bc usually, he doesn’t show up in a nice safe place and he’ll feel exactly like he’s drowning even if he isn’t physically drowning. Showers he slips a lot in for similar reasons, hence why he prefers someone who’s listening nearby. For repressed fear, he’s afraid of dying, even if he acts fine with it. No one acknowledges it besides the other Elementals, but Oliver is the Time Elemental. Time isn’t a recognized Element, but the Elementals just Know. Even though he’s just 18, he’s only got a few years left, and he’s just got to put on a brave face bc there’s not much he can do about it. For Deep Dark Fear, he’s terrified of losing the remaining time he’s got left. Even though he’s only 18, because of PlotTM, he’s only got a couple of years before he burns up, and he’s terrified to lose it.

44. What’s one thing they wish they could do more often, but can’t?

Watch documentaries. Funnily enough, Ollie is a massive history nerd, always has been, and he used to watch a ton of documentaries before he got his powers. But even nature or space ones will inevitably make him forget when he is, and so he can’t watch any. He also can’t read any historical fiction books (which sucked when he was younger, his favorite book series had been the Magic Treehouse) for a similar reason. He can read history textbooks, though, since they just list facts and dont show footage or make it seem like it IS that time.

Morty

1. What is one word to shut them up?

hmm. tricky... Let’s go with Hotspot. If you’ve read sparks fly, you get why.

5. List 3 fears; one surface-level fear, one repressed fear, and one deep dark fear.

Surface level is probably dogs. He’s been attacked by multiple dogs, multiple times since most animals don't vibe with his whole dark aura of death thing. But getting attacked by dogs is the one that stuck most. He gets nervous around Ollie’s service dog, Edison, but Edison is so well trained he just doesn’t care and being near him actually helps Morty with that fear. Repressed fear is definitely death. Which yea, i know, that’s weird considering he’s the death elemental but hear me out. 1 unlike sparky who gets overwhelmed by too much electricity, Morty gets basically drunk when he’s around too much death. Hospitals, battlefields, large graveyards, etc, and the thing is, he loves that feeling. and it scares him how much he loves it, partially bc he knows what the last death elemental was like and doesn't want to be like them (for reference, the guy went on a mass murder spree and started a couple of civil wars since the death elemental will live until the high rates of death stop, even if it’s past when Elementals normally die and you know they didn’t want to die). 2 Morty’s very existence is a sign that mass death is coming but there are no wars going on and that scares the shit out of him. 3 One Eye literally planted the fear of his powers, killing, and death in his mind to try and limit the damage he could cause and to prevent another situation like the last death elemental. For Deep Dark Fear, Morty is terrified that he can’t trust his own memories or even what he knows about himself. One Eye manipulated his memories and mind so so much and for so long. Morty’s always doubting what he knows and what he believes bc its not like One Eye HASNT planted shit, and he’s always on edge bc he doesnt even feel safe in his own damn mind.

44. What’s one thing they wish they could do more often, but can’t?

As of the start of the story? Be with Ben. For most of the time the two have known each other, they were online friends, until they both ran away together when they were 17. But about 4 months ago Morty left to go back to the SA headquarters, even though it’s literally part of his biggest fear to go back, because Ben was facing a double threat of either Carter getting them, or the SA, and Morty is determined to get the SA to leave them alone (ok technically the Supers Association and Heroes do leave them alone bc One Eye is scared shitless of Ben, but they send assassins like Scout and Hall after them all the fuckin time, and not all of them have sorta morals like the triad). In general tho, hear Ben’s voice. He just wants Ben to feel safe. (Morty is a fucking romantic no matter how tough he likes to act i swear)

I’ve got to do my interview now and this post is long enough as is, so I’ll do the same questions for Matty and Blue afterwards!! thanks!!

#asks #ben #oliver #morty

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horansqueen · 5 years

Text

BabyGirl 4.0

NOTES:

♥ this is based on a concept i received a few weeks ago and ppl asked that i made a story with it. ♥ i planned 3-4 long parts but i think it’ll be 8-10 short parts ♥ 3.8k. fluff. ♥ there may be smut but i doubt it and IF it happens it wont be as explicit as my other smut works. ♥ i didn’t proofread and if you read my stuff you know i never do because im a lazy ass. ♥ thank you so so much for all the notes and feedback for the previous chapters! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! i hope you enjoy this chapter! ♥ if you have any questions please dont hesitate.

♥ PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 3

4.0 ♥ PANCAKES & MISTAKES ♥

HIM

All the feelings that had rushed through me when i saw her and at the contact of my skin with hers was now gone. It's not that I didn't feel anything for her anymore, it's just that I was pissed and hurt, and I didn't have any place left for any other feeling. I couldn't believe she did that to me, and I also couldn't believe my best friend was her accomplice. I didn't know how i'd even find the strength inside me to forgive them, at least not completely.

The rest of the evening was awkward and Louis and I left as soon as we could. I glanced at the rear view mirror to see Freddie deeply asleep in his baby seat, and brought my attention back in front of me. I was supposed to take a plane the next day to go see my family but I was clearly not in a good state to celebrate and It was way too soon to let my parents know they were grandparents for a second time. I would definitely have to find an amazing excuse for not going but my mind was blank, or perhaps overloaded.

"Thanks for not hitting me."

I turned my head to look at Louis as he took me out of my thoughts. I stared at him for a few seconds as his eyes kept moving from me to the road and to me again. I didn't know if my pain or my anger was stronger, but I was pretty sure he could guess how I felt from the way I was looking at him.

"Trust me, It's not because I don't want to."

Louis pressed his lips together a bit nervously and nodded once, looking back in front of him. I was mad at him, but somehow, I felt like being around him was not a bad thing. I wanted to understand why they both did that to me, and although I was pretty sure nothing they would say would make things better, I still had hope.

Louis parked in front of his house and handed me his keys. I grabbed them and waited until he picked up Freddie gently, making sure not to wake him up, and we both walked to the front door. I unlocked it and let him walk in, following close behind. I let Louis go to Freddie's room by himself and sat on his couch with a sigh. The whole house was still plunged into darkness but somehow, I felt safe. I was torn between the desire to be alone, and the impatience to get explanations.

When Louis came back, he turned the lights on and I jumped slightly, blinking a few times. I watched him put Freddie's coat, neck warmer, boots and beanie in the closet and leave the room again. This time, he came back quicker and put two shot glasses and two beers on the coffee table in front of me, along with an almost full bottle of vodka. He remained silent as he poured some in the glasses, pushing one closer to me. I stared at it a few seconds and finally let myself fall on the carpet, grabbing the shot and swallowing it quickly. The liquid burned my throat down and I closed my eyes tight, hitting it lightly on the table. When I opened my eyes, Louis was filling it again and I drank it just as fast as the first one. It's only after the sixth that Louis pushed the beer my way. I sighed but grabbed it and took a sip as he placed an album in front of me.

He didn't talk, but I could easily guess what it was. When he realized I wouldn't move, he turned the first few pages and stopped suddenly, his fingers brushing gently until the photo at the bottom. The pretty little baby was surprisingly looking at the camera, her big blue eyes so similar to mine I had to swallow the lump in my throat. I forgot that Louis was there, I even forgot how mad I was... I just stared at my daughter on glossy paper and brought my hand to the picture, running one of my fingertips on her left cheek. I almost didn't notice her mother next to her, a huge smile on her lips, and my heart twisted at her sight. I brought my fingers to her and stroked her cheek too until I realized I was crying.

I sniffed and moved back, wiping the tears on my shirt quickly and clearing my throat. Clearly, this whole evening had flooded me with emotions and I had a hard time handling them. Louis moved closer and turned the page again as my eyes scanned them. I blinked again, trying to clear my sight and I tried to memorize everything I was seeing. Louis was on many of them, and when he was not on the picture, I guessed he was the one taking it. It brought a feeling inside me, one I had never felt so intensely. Jealousy. It infiltrated my skin, making my throat burn and my hands shake a bit.

"I can't believe you spent so much time with my daughter."

I had insisted on the "my" to make sure he understood how hurtful it was but I didn't look at him. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Chelsea. Clearly the most incredible little girl I had ever met. I was probably biased but it didn't matter.

Louis waited, probably expecting me to add something, but I just swallowed my anger again, even if it was harder to do it with every minute passing by.

"I know." he admitted very low. "That's why I invited you tonight. I thought it was time."

I turned my head roughly in his direction, sending him a hard and angry look.

"No, you invited me because you felt guilty. You've felt guilty for five years now, ever since that day you came back and told me to forget her." I explained surprisingly calmly. "You felt guilty and you couldn't handle it anymore. So you broke the promise you made her, and you took the chance to lose my friendship because you couldn't live with that secret. You did this for you, Louis. Not for her, or for me, not even for Chelsea. Just for you."

My best friend stared at me and I noticed his eyes start to water. I wanted to feel bad for hurting him but I couldn't. He deserved every word and worse, and he knew it.

"Maybe you're right, Niall." he simply said, his voice breaking slightly before looking down in shame. "I did it a bit for myself. But I also did it for you. It felt... extremely unfair."

i sighed and turned back to the pictures, feeling my heart melt again at the sight of my daughter. It was so much information to absorb in so little time, yet I already loved her, and I didn't even know why.

"She's an amazing little girl. So cleaver, and funny, and full of life. Exactly like you." he added. "And she deserves to know her father, too. And... I know how you feel about her mother."

I scoffed and shook my head, not looking at him.

"No, me and her are over, we're... over each other. We've moved on."

"Bullshit. She still loves you."

The thought made my heart jump and this time, it's hope I tried to swallow before turning my head slowly to look at Louis. He looked sincere and his lips curled into a satisfied smile, probably because of my facial expression.

"Why would you think that?"

"For fuck's sake, Niall!" he let out a bit too loud. "She literally named your daughter after your favorite football club!"

That explanation had crossed my mind the first time I heard my daughter's name and I wanted to ask her, but I was too pissed and hurt to even bother. Now that Louis was mentioning it, I was starting to believe it.

"That was over four years ago, she probably got over me now." I just shrugged, grabbing my beer and leaning against the couch, spreading my legs on the carpet and wincing slightly at the throbbing pain in my knee.

"I know her." Louis replied. I saw him shrug in the corner of my eyes. "She still loves you. She's dated a few guys here and there but it never lasted. And they all had something in common with you. Whether it was physically or mentally, there was always something that reminded me of you."

It was crazy to think she could still have feelings for me after all this time but the thought warmed my whole body. Or maybe it was the vodka finally kicking in, but I doubted it. I finished my now tepid beer quickly and put it on the table next to the album.

"You still love her too, don't you?" he finally asked cautiously, making me sigh and close my eyes.

I didn't know anymore. I wasn't sure of anything anymore. My whole world as I knew it was falling apart and I had no idea how to build it back up. I had no idea where to start.

"I don't know Louis. I don't know if I can forgive her for what she did." I confessed, turning to stare in his eyes with a sorry look. "Or you."

He sighed but nodded, pressing his lips together again and grabbing the bottle of vodka again, pouring us two more shots. I made the small glass turn slowly with my fingers as I stared at it, trying to calm the emotions inside me that made my heart thump inside my chest. I was starting to see blurry and I wanted to drown myself in alcohol until I was numb. I drank all of it quickly and put it back on the table with a light thud before shaking my head.

"I shouldn't drink too much." I pointed out as Louis filled my glass again. "I don't want to be hangover tomorrow."

"You're gonna take that plane?" my best friend asked right after drinking his shot.

I sigh and shook my head, doing the same thing before grabbing the album and bringing it closer to look at my daughter again.

"No." I just let out. "I'm gonna meet my daughter properly for the first time."

HER

When we got back home, Chelsea was exhausted. Instead to walk to her room, she made her way to mine, her small feet rubbing against the floor with every step she took. She got on my bed with difficulty and I leaned against the door frame, looking at her as she fell asleep immediately. The light was still on, I tend to always forget to turn it off before I leave, and I went to sit gently next to her, trying not to wake her up. I took her dress off and removed the band from her hair slowly as her breathing became heavier. I brought everything to the laundry room and walked back to her with Niall's shirt in hands.

I was tempted to smell it but it had stopped smelling like him years ago so I simply let my fingers brush on the fabric. It was nothing special, just a normal cotton t-shirt, but it reminded me of when we'd make love in the morning and i'd wear his shirt for the rest of the day. We loved lazy sundays where we did nothing but watch tv, eat, cuddle and make love.

Before I realized it, all these thoughts had made me tear up and i wiped my eyes quickly, sitting back in bed with my daughter and dressing her with Niall's shirt. It was ridiculous and useless to dwell on the past and mostly dead memories and I shook my head, trying to get back to my senses. I had to be strong, if only for Chelsea, because I knew her life was about to change and it was probably not going to be easy. Mine was gonna change too, and Niall's had already started to change. I held my breath, trying to convince myself I could easily live with Niall around without hurting from the fact that I would never get to be with him the way we used to be, but I knew deep down that I was lying to myself. Seeing Niall and being around him was going to be hell and it was going to hurt a lot, I knew it. I would do it for my daughter, and for him, and also a bit because of how guilty I felt, but hiding my feelings towards Niall was not going to be easy.

I sighed and finally sat back on the bed to put the shirt on her, once again trying not to wake her up before pulling the covers over her and leaving the room, turning the lights off as I walked out. I reached the kitchen and opened the fridge, quickly grabbing what was left of a white wine without even taking the time to get a glass. I leaned against the table as I drank, letting a few tears fall down my cheeks without even acknowledging them.

"What the fuck did you even do..."

I normally talk to myself all the time out loud but tonight, those were the only words that came to my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about Niall and how hurt he was. I couldn't stop questioning my choices and my actions, as if thinking about them and regretting them was going to change something to what was happening right now.

I took an other long sip right from the bottle and closed my eyes as I swallowed. He looked so good and so happy. I still had a hard time believing that at some point, he actually loved me, or at least, I hoped he did. I left the empty bottle on the counter and got undressed on my way back to my room, leaving a trail of clothes behind me. I grabbed an old t-shirt and some sweatpants before to slip under the covers, next to my daughter. I stared at her in the dark for a few minutes and quickly fell asleep, helped by the alcohol and the tears.

I was pretty sure I hadn't slept much when something woke me up suddenly. I gasped and felt my heart jump in my chest, making my eyes open wide. Chelsea was still wearing Niall's shirt but was now completely awake, jumping on my bed, her laughter echoing against the walls of the room and reaching my heart. It made my lips curl despite the early hour and I sat up, rubbing my eyes.

"Mommy! Mommy!" she kept repeating every time her small feet would sink in the mattress. "It's Christmas!"

I laughed and finally got up, grabbing her as she jumped again and making her laugh more as I brought her to the living room. I put her back on her feet in front of the tree and she rubbed them on the carpet as I did the same. We smiled at each other and sat down exactly at the same time as Chelsea reached for a gift, handing it to me. The paper was red and green and clearly, she had wrapped it herself, as it was covered with more tape than needed. I looked up at her, endeared by the attention and enjoying the pride I saw shining through her eyes.

"Merry Christmas, mommy!"

I loved how attentive she was, and sometimes, I wondered how such a young kid could be so kind hearted. I unwrapped it slowly, finding a pretty Christmas ornament shaped like a snowflake, with a drawing she made in the middle. It was covered with silver glitter and when i touched it, some fell on my sweatpants, becoming extremely obvious on the black fabric.

"Sweetheart, it's beautiful!" I let out a bit exaggeratedly. "I love it! Thank you."

I bent down and she did the same, pressing her nose against mine before rubbing it on mine gently. We both laughed and I licked my lips, putting the ornament she just gave me in the tree and finally reaching for one of her gifts.

After over half an hour of unwrapping gifts, I got up and walked to the kitchen, starting coffee quickly. I let out a yawn and grabbed a mug, pouring the brown and warm liquid in it before going back to the living room. I smiled when I saw Chelsea swimming in a pool of wrapping paper and toys. She was excited, not really knowing where to put her attention, and I leaned against the wall to enjoy the moment.

It's only when the doorbell rang that I got out of my thoughts. I didn't have time to react, Chelsea rushed to the door and I followed behind slowly.

"I know you! You were at the party last night!"

Her words made me walk quickly to the door and I held my breath when Niall's looked up and his eyes met mine. I licked my lips and felt them curl. He sent me my smile back and I stopped next to my daughter.

"Hey..."

"Hey."

We stared at each other for a few seconds and I cleared my throat.

"I'm sorry, you want to come in?"

He pulled his hands out of his pockets and nodded, taking a step inside. As soon as the door closed behind him, Chelsea grabbed his hand and pulled him with her to the living room.

"Come on! I'll show you my gifts!"

I chuckled and followed them, watching them interact as they both sat down. She proceeded to explain all the gifts she got and who got them for her. He listened to her attentively and even asked questions, and the sight made me extremely emotional. I never thought i'd ever see the day where Niall and my daughter would talk and laugh together in the living room on Christmas morning, but fuck, I loved it.

I walked to the kitchen and prepared an other cup of coffee, bringing it to Niall. He looked up at me and smiled again when I handed it to him and my heart twisted in my chest. He was really there, it was not a dream this time, and he was not going to disappear.

"Uncle Louis gave me this one." she let out, showing a nerf gun, making Niall's eyebrows raise. "He says i'm a warrior. He's my favorite person. What's the word again mommy? Oh, my godfather."

Niall's chin moved up quickly and his eyes met mine again. This time, my eyes were full of guilt but I didn't dare to apologize again. He sighed and turned to my daughter again, looking at what she was wearing, and I felt extremely embarrassed for a reason I ignored.

"You have a nice shirt, Chelsea, I love it." he let out with a smile. "I had one exactly like that."

"Really?" she asked, excited by the fact that someone mentioned her shirt. "It's my daddy's!"

His facial expression changed and I had a hard time to decipher it. If I had to pick, i'd say he seemed touched somehow but also slightly hurt. I desperately wanted to hold him against me, but I was not sure it would really comfort him.

"Chelsea, baby, are you hungry?"

She jumped on her feet and threw her little arms in the air, surprising Niall and making me laugh.

"Pancaaaaakes!" she yelled, running quickly to the kitchen.

Niall turned to me and finally laughed too, getting up and following her. I stopped him and sighed again, glancing down before looking back up in his eyes.

"I was not supposed to ask Louis to be her godfather at first." I tried to explain. "I thought it would put him in a weird position towards you and I didn't want that. But he was just the best person to be. He's amazing with her. And... I couldn't help thinking that he's the one you would have picked."

Niall stared at me as if he was trying to read my soul and I knew he could do it. It made a shiver run up my spine but I remained motionless, looking at him. The words 'I'm sorry' were burning my lips as I tried to keep them in.

"I would have picked him." he just admitted, sending me a sad smile.

I waited a few seconds alone in the living room and joined them in the kitchen. When I walked in, I noticed the eggs, the flour and the milk were already on the counter and Niall was explaining to her how to prepare the mix for the pancakes. I let them cook together, enjoying this day more and more as time passed. I didn't know Niall would come here today, but I was glad he did. I only feared the time where we'd have to let her know that Niall was her actual father. I didn't know how she'd react, and it stressed me so much I decided to push it at the back of my mind to almost forget it for now.

I let them have their moment, keeping quiet until they placed a plate with a pancake in front of me. They had used maple syrup to draw eyes and a smile and it made me chuckle low. They sat at the table with me and we started eating as he asked Chelsea a bunch of questions I would have never thought about : her favorite color, her best friends, the name of her favorite stuffed animal...

It's only when Chelsea got up to wash her hands and go back to play that my heart twisted again. I turned to look at Niall, sitting on my left, and tilted my head. He stared at me, making my heart melt, and I held my tears as best as I could.

"I'm happy you're here, Nee." I whispered.

I watched as his arm slid slowly on the table and held my breath as his fingers reached mine. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it, our skin touching again for the first time on that day, and it felt just as electric as it did the night before. Or maybe it was just in my head.

"Me too."

#niall horan #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fic #niall horan story #niall horan writing #niall #niall fluff #niall fanfic #niall fan #niall fic #niall story #niall writing #my fanfics

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pearlsartblog2019 · 5 years

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Monster Verse AU: part one

SPG: Monster Verse AU : Part one:

Notes: Don't own SPG… all of those lovelies belong to the bennetts and co. I just do strange things in stories with the characters for fun.

Don’t own Sprocket She belongs to the very awesome: spg-fanbot-cousins.tumblr.com Pearl Is my own creation for this and several other stories. Also NOTE: This is set in the 1950s yes Rabbit is a guy at this point due to it being WAAAAAY before either buns or rabbit transitioned. In the stories set in modern times rabbit will be a girl. Thanks for the read On to the show.

Black lips pulled into a charming smile and kissed the cheek of the Lil human female he had just been with.

She looked very happy and satisfied and would no doubt think the two bruises she would find on her neck in the morning nothing more than a hickey from a

handsome stranger in the cause way of the club he had been singing at.

"Thank you very much my dear," the deep baritone told her, "Now you should go home and sleep. Its been a very long night no?"

She smiled dreamily at him like so many of them he had met in the past and nodded. Then almost floated away into the night that already smelled of rain.

He smirked a lil and slightly rolled his glowing emerald eyes. Fascinating lil creatures these females. He knew most of his kind, most of the other Lords viewed them as nothing more than food. But in his long life he had never been able to make that association. Yes he needed their blood, but he had never been needlessly cruel to get it. Either that was just his nature, or perhaps that he was on the Fringe of his breed due to his more Mecha nature. Either way, he'd always liked human females and always would.

He was about to head out into the rain when he heard something from the ally way. Two people talking and being angry about something.

"Did you see it!" one of them snapped, "We got its parents but we been chasing this one all the way across the pond... and tonight YOU LOSE IT..!!"

The other person made a sound of disgust, "Well it's about to die any how! we ought to just leave and say its dead!"

Lightning crashed over head and the skies opened up to dump a flood down onto the dark streets below. The two creeps in the ally way glared up at the clouds for a moment and finally gave up.

"If it's out here, " One of them waved at hand at the back alleys, "It'll freeze to death tonight... our work’s done."

"Good point, " The second one paused and looked around "are you sure this is a good idea coming here? They rest of the hunters said that this is The Silver Lord's turf, and he doesn't take kindly to people like us."

The first man scoffed, "Silver Lord is a myth.. nothing like that really exists. Seven foot silver vampire lord in a fedora.. dont be stupid."

He almost, ALMOST, thought to correct the two men on the errors of their thought process right then and there. But from what the pair of them were saying, there was someone or something out there in the night that needed help. He aborhed violence unless he had no other choice, so he gave the backs of the evil men one final glare and headed in the direction they had indicated.

Sadly when he walked deeper into the ally there was almost nothing there but some plies of card board and what looked like a lump of rags in one corner. He was about to walk away and try some other place when the lump he’d looked at a moment ago .. moved.

a few seconds later he had carefully moved some of the trash out of his way and discovered something amazing.

what looked like a naga tail.. dull metallic and filthy from months if not years of having to live in back alleyways and on the edges of even Monster Society.

Finally the rest of the debris was cleared away and what he saw amazed him. She was a mech breed of monster, like himself and his various siblings. A RIDICULOUSLY YOUNG naga female, with long curly brown hair. Tiny not taking her tail into account, compared to his seven feet. Freezing cold, half dead, and utterly alone.

For a moment he SERIOUSLY considered going back on his Vow of being tolerant of humans for a bit, if only to give the people that had done this to a CHILD the ass beating they deserved. But decided better of it seeing as how getting the little one some place warm and dry was more important.

A few seconds later the two of them had disappeared into the night and headed back to the manor. The wizards would welcome the little one with open arms he knew, his family would be more than happy to take care of her, and she had already slithered her way into his heart, of that much he was sure. He just hoped he would be able to help her and that she was not too badly hurt.

The next evening:

She was on something warm and soft and could feel the end of her tail stuck out into cooler air beyond whatever the warm thing she was cuddled up in was. She knew she HAD to be dreaming as she'd not slept in side someplace dry and warm for several years.

Sprocket was determined to stay asleep a lil longer and enjoy the dream as much as she possibly could before she woke back up on the hard cold streets of whatever city they had chased her too this time.

She pulled the fluffy dream pillow down over her eyes and really did not want to move out of where she was. Maybe this time she was dead and was in heaven. It certainly FELT like heaven compared to the life she had lived since she fell of that stupid boat.

She heard a VERY deep voice laugh a bit next to her some place.

"you can come out little one," It told her, "I don't ....bite."

She could hear the grin in the deep voice and for a moment enjoyed the warmth. Then it clicked that someone was talking to her, and she switched from content to panic mode in about 2 seconds flat.

She snarled, hissed, and crash dove out of the bed to flatten herself against the nearest corner. They had her, the two people that had killed her father and chased her across the country had her and now they were going to kill her. She was damned sure however not going to give in without one hell of a fight.

She glared at the tall figure across the bed from her and hissed again, bareing her fags and flashing the rings in her eyes to let them know she had every intention of defending her self.

Everything was still horridly blurry and she couldn't make out much about the person standing in front of her other than he was INSANELY tall.

"GET BACK!!" She literally snapped at him, "I SAID GET BACK!!"

"calm down," the deep voiced man told her, "I promise I won't hurt you. Please relax... your ..."

Sprocket was having none of that and was not letting these people who had hurt her so badly, get even close to her any more. She struck out at him only to get one of the biggest shocks of her short life.

He caught her. Ridiculously strong hands caught both her arms and held her perfectly still with a grip like titanium. Not hurting, or squeezing, just keeping her still. She got a good look at him and could only stare as the emerald eyes set in the angular silver face flashed bright red and he answered her hiss with one of his own. In the process displaying his own set of fangs, that made hers look like butter knives by comparison.

"calm DOWN," He told her again, "Your with your own kind Lil one. Your safe."

One look at this person and she knew what he was. A vampire, a vampire lord to be exact from the size and shape of his fangs. Someone ridiculously powerful that if they told her she was safe from the hunters, She was safe from the hunters. It took about another ten seconds and then Sprocket went completely limp in the Lord's arms and began sobbing.

"Im Sorry SIR!!" she continued, "I didn't know.. I.. they were... They killed..."

"Easy," He held her very gently, "Its alright lil one, you've been through hell but your safe now. Your going to be staying with us from now on. This is going to be your new home."

Blue slitted eyes looked up from her hands into the ones that had changed back to emerald green. He had such a kind face, so much compassion in his voice that only made her cry harder.

After a bit she finally was calm enough and he let her go back onto her bed, fluffing the blanket up and making sure it was around her shoulders and tail.

"What's your name ?" The lord asked her gently.

"Sprocket," She sniffed and wiped at her eyes, "I... I don't have a last name.."

He smiled, "That's Alright. My name is The Spine and I am sorry that happened to you. I usually don't let that kind of scum into my city."

"They were following me," She looked down and played with the blanket hem a bit, "They killed my pappa... and chased me.. off the boat and all across the country.. "

Spine's handsome face twisted into a frown for a moment and then he spoke to her again

"Well they can't chase you anymore, " He folded his arms, "And if they come to this house looking for trouble they are in for quite the surprise..’ he grinned.

"Say again?" She blinked at him.

He got an even more impish grin on his face, "would you like to see what I mean?"

Confused she nodded and when he held out his arms for her she slithered into them. Two steps into the hallway she suddenly knew exactly what he was talking about.

A giant, a dryad and a drider were all down at the other end of the halway, having a very loud conversation about what was going on and if they were going to barge into the room and demand 'big brother' Show off the lil naga he'd found.

Behind them a Kitsune grinned and twitched all of his tails at the conversation face full of mischief and fun ( note: This is WAAAAAAAAY before rabbit/bunny transitioned folks.. she will be a girl in the stories set in modern times.. this is in the late 40's/early 50s) And next to him a pink succubus balanced on the railing putting in her two cents from time to time.

Sprocket turned her head as a Vampire Lady, and two wizards one on either side of her, walked past them.

The sudden relief she felt at being in a house full of others like her almost made her want to faint. When she saw that they had been noticed and the Dryad was leading the charge.

"Head's up," Spine told her just in time as the stampede made it to them.

The next hour was spent on introductions and details about how she had gotten there. As well as generally being welcomed into the family by everyone with great enthusiasm.

The other vampire lady came to see how the commotion was, bringing the dark haired wizard with her and smiling cus according to her "Twas about time Spine had a family."

She could tell he was resisting the urge to say something foul and had to smile at that. By the time it was all over she felt completely happy and utterly exhausted in a way that she hadn't felt since the moment those hunters shoved her off the boat.

She was back in her bed room now curled up on the wonderfully fluffy bed under the soft blanket tip of her tail twitching in happiness and contentment. Spine had gone to take the dishes from the stuff he had made for her. He called it Hot Coco, and it tasted like chocolate with a healthy dash of type O as well. So she was also enjoying a full stomach for the first time in a LONG time. When Spine reappeared to check on her one last time before the sun came up.

"will you be alright? I can stay today if you like?"

"No im good Daddy i..." She slapped her hand over her mouth, "Im sorry Sir.. you just...you remind me..."

"Of your father?" he asked.

She nodded and despite all of the happiness she felt that day, the old sadness at her parents having been taken from her started to creep back. Until, that is, a pair of strong silver arms pulled her into a paternal hug.

"I'm honored Lil Sprocket, " She looked up and saw him smile, "If that's what you want, I would be so honored to be your family..."

Fresh tears, this time of happiness spilled down her cheeks, and she hugged onto him right then and stayed that way through the rest of the day.

#SPG #Monster Verse #The spine #Rabbit #The jon #Zero #Upgrade #Hatchworth #Everyone is a monster in this #Sprocket #spg-fanbot-cousins #Reposts and reviews welcome #Keep yer flames to yer self #Probably gonna post this On ao3 too.. will link if i do #Enjoy

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helpful-hummingbird · 5 years

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No More Hiding Chapter 2 Part 1

No more hiding

(Characters: unconscious Patton, Deceit, Roman, Virgil, Logan, Thomas, Remmy cameo{I don’t know how to spell his name}

Ships: Prinxiety(Princey x Anxiety), Implied Logicality,

Trigger warnings: Dangerous Depression, Destructive Thoughts, MILD Suicidal Implications, Verbal Fighting, Trapped Inside Body(?), Tell me if you see more

Chapter 2, Day 1: The Return.

We’re home…. I’m trapped... but we’re safe…...

Roman had brought them back, away from that place. He will destroy it, no he must destroy it, before he, well, before he destroys himself. He had made mistakes all the time, but none as unforgivable as this. He could never forgive himself, he had attacked his fatherly friend. He would try to leave soon, but not immediately, he NEEDED to know he hadn't completely ended Patton. He realized, his hands and cloths were still bloody, he didn’t want to run away, not now. But this, this was too much, he literally had blood on his hands, the blood of the person who cared deeply about him.

Logan was at a loss for words. Were there any words to describe his thoughts? He hated feeling emotions, but these new emotions, he wanted to drown. However, he did what he intended to do, he had brought Patton home and yes he didn’t get to apologize, but he would soon. The most confusing part of the ordeal so far was the fact that Patton had sacrificed himself for a former Dark Side whom seemingly was trying to recruit Patton. Either way, Patton was obviously under Deceit’s influence. Logan originally just intended to kick the two faced side out of the house, but now, he wanted revenge, and answers. The logical side had noticed the apparent distress in the Prince’s eyes. Most likely trauma. Although Logan DID know how to get over trauma, he had no idea how to execute his plan to make his, work partner whom he tolerates, “better” to say, but, there was someone who did.

“Why Patton, this shouldn’t have happened, not to dad.” The anxious side thought. He always explored the “what ifs” in his spare time, but this specific event never once went through his mind. Virgil knew one day they’d all die, that was obvious, but he didn’t want to leave so soon. Thomas was too young, he was only in his twenties. Breaking himself free of his own thoughts, he quickly looked up at his former friend, who helped him escape the Dark Sides all those episodes ago. He whispered” Were you trying to take him back with you?” “You wouldn’t believe the truth, so I’ll tell you a lie, /yes, I was/. “ For some reason, Virgil believed him. He felt a tap on his shoulder, he expected Roman, he expected he was next, but instead it was Logan. “Vigil, go talk to Roman, I can’t understand my own emotions, let alone his.” Roman, he must feel the worst of all of them. Virgil looked up to see him, the Prince of Creativity himself, blood on his hands, cloths, and sword. Tears stagnant, he seemed paused in time. Almost as if Roman was petrified himself. Patton would do a better job at this, but Patton was, yea… He wasn’t ready to let go of dad, but he needed to. Patton needed to come back to a loving family, not a broken one. Virgil stood up, looked at Logan, and said with no emotions in his voice,” I hope you’re proud of yourself.” Virgil started walking over to Roman, not slowly nor quickly, just normal pacing. Roman looked up, and he seemed to unfreeze. His eyes, most likely portraying the same fear Dee felt when it happened. Roman backed away then fell to his knees and began to cry. “I didn’t mean to get Patton, please Virgil dont hurt me!” he screamed. When Virgil was face to face with Roman, the Prince was covering his face in self defense. Instead of harming Roman, Virgil had hugged him. While the two were on the ground sharing emotions, those emotions seemed to fade. The few emotions they had left were the default ones they felt everyday due to their jobs.

Before Deceit could verbally attack Logan, he felt it too. It felt similar to when Anxiety ducked out. Was this what Thomas was feeling? No it would definitely be worse for Thomas. Because this time, Morality had ducked out. Dee hoped that dad would be back, soon. Even if he could deal with it, the others couldn’t.

...I still...can’t speak… but… quack…

Logan suspected he was the one least affected by the shutting off of the excess of emotions usually brought on by Patton. This was to be expected, but it was oddly comforting. He despised his own emotions, they confused him and made his job extremely complicated at times. His job as Thomas’ Logic usually required no emotions, and when they did he borrowed assistance. Although, something odd pierced his mind, shouldn’t all of his emotions be gone? He felt his default emotions, obviously, but there was more. It was faint and small, and barely there, that odd feeling seemed to flicker, as if fighting itself to stay on. Interesting to say the least. It seems as if Patton was not dead in the slightest, that was a relief, however, he was barely alive and he was desperately fighting to stay so, that is if the faint trace of Patton’s shared emotions are what Logan is ‘feeling’. Logan wondered how the others were being affected.

What was this feeling, it was so sudden and new, I felt it the moment, I ended you. ...What was that… Without Patton, Roman was only creativity. He felt his happiness, his sadness, drain, being only left with his bare minimum. He felt numb empty, for Patton’s glow fueled him, and pushed him to work on projects, big or small. Without that same glow, that same push, what good could possibly even come from his job, he felt nothing but everything at the same time, and by everything, he felt everything he pushed down. His insecurities, his self worth, self image, those all seemed to fade once Morality entered the picture, but now those seemed to flood back. Perhaps he would later create a big, no NO now was not the time for that. Before anymore thoughts of amazing adventure or things to create, the Prince of Creativity was interrupted by the Child of Anxiety’s scream of horror.

The sudden removal of Patton’s emotions hit Virgil the most, whom immediately began screaming out loud. That wasn’t all, far from it, he HAD to push away Roman who he was previously hugging in order to curl up into a ball and cover his face. He began hyperventilating, breathing couldn’t possibly help him now. For now all hope was lost, it was all over. Nothing good could ever come again, not to the sides nor to Thomas whom he swore to protect since day one. Patton helped him nullify his own paralyzing fears, but without Patton, no one could. No one could possibly help him, who would ever want to help him, anxiety. Sure he was part of the family, but now it had begun to shatter, and he, with his assigned role could only begin to make it worse, far worse than anything he had ever managed to previously mess up in his entire life! Dad was gone, Roman was crazy, Logan was refusing to believe the truth, Virgil himself was a mess and Dee, he was, who even knows how that guy is holding up! Then it hit him, no this time someone actually hit him. That someone was a teary eyed Roman screaming, “VIRGIL, SNAP OUT OF IT! PATTON WOULDN’T WANT THIS!” …. He was right, Patton wouldn’t want this, right now he’d be cheering Virgil up with reassurance and compliments followed by a pun, he missed those puns, everyone would miss Patton’s puns. Patton was still alive sure, but for how long?

Deceit was watching the scene unfold for a long time, he watched Logan seemingly have no reaction, followed by Roman’s lack of self control in terms of jitteriness, and Virgil’s outburst. He expected to feel something similar, to have some sort of reaction, but he had none. Maybe it was because Deceit was basically the reverse of Patton, yes he deeply enjoyed Patton’s company, but a lack of it usually did nothing to him, other than leaving him feeling lonely. That was when he heard it. Thomas, he was home. Panic shot through his body, was this because of Virgil? No time to think, he must hide Patton before Thomas unlocks the door. Deceit picked up Patton’s body and begrudgingly handed it over to Logan and not so quietly whispered, “Logan, you must take him to his room, just don’t let Thomas see!” And like that the two were gone, and only three sides were left in the room, obviously the three had heard the door unlocking, and they snapped back to their spots.

Today was a weird day for Thomas to say the LEAST! He was hanging out with Joan and Valerie and talking about the usual, dogs and vids, and then something hit him, it made him feel sick. He made up an excuse saying he felt sick, well, he did, but technically he could have stayed, but something told him not to. He also had a terrible headache a while ago, it was so bad that he felt like he was cut in half, then it went away, but he just needed to go home, maybe the others could help him. Usually when Thomas was having an ‘ off ‘ day, his sides helped him to deal with it, maybe they’d have something to say about this! When he was near his house however, that same sickening feeling came back, but stronger. Then as he touched the door handle, it seemed to fade, no, not the headache, but something, he felt almost robotic. It had felt like someone had turned off his emotions. Why did he come home anyways? Was there a point in this? He pushed his thoughts aside and stepped into his house, locking the door behind him. Considering that Thomas had missed spending lunch with his friend, he was obviously hungry.

The three remaining sides, Roman, Dee, and Virgil, were locked in place, waiting for Thomas to notice the blood on both Roman and Deceit when he finished locking the door, however Roman had already decided on a plan and what he’d say to Thomas when he turned around! Oddly, when Thomas had turned around, he didn’t seem to care that the three were already in the living room, he couldn’t even be bothered to wave or even say a nice ‘ hello ‘! Instead he just went straight into the kitchen, and headed for the Crofters, wow rude! When Thomas was searching around the refrigerator Roman had sunk down, went to his room to quickly change clothes, and then popped back up. Roman was hoping to maybe see Virgil, he couldn’t explain why, but he just wanted to see him again. He did see Virgil, but Virgil was seemingly on the verge of yet another breakdown. Roman had wanted to help but, but they were already locked in place. All of the sides had a shared hatred for being locked in place when Thomas had entered the house at the same time when they were in the house. He shifted his gaze from Virgil to Thomas, who was eating a jar of Crofters over his laptop.

Logan and Patton were sitting idle in Patton’s room together. Patton was resting on the couch, he was still immobile, but every so often he would twitch or make tiny motions, just a moment ago while Logan was reading, he noticed that Patton managed to move his fingers ever so slightly. Curious as ever, Logan had bookmarked the page he was on, closed the book, set it down, and got up and walked over to Patton. When Logan had sat down next to Patton, he had put his hand on top of Patton’s hand to help calm the other side down. Logan had known that Patton was obviously still alive and that had helped the logical side to stay calm during this crisis. Logan looked down at his watch, how was it already 11: 59? Just a moment ago Thomas

had returned from lunch. Was time traveling faster in Patton’s room? Various thoughts and theories had flown around in his brain, but a single gesture had paused them. Logan wondered if Patton had purposely turned his hand over so that he would be holding hands with Logan, most likely not but either way that is what had happen that managed to break Logan’s thought process. Logan sighed,” I didn’t intend you to take what I had said about you so harshly, Patton. Please, come back soon.” It made no logical sense to talk to a person whom was unconscious, however, it made Logan feel better for some reason.

Chapter 2, Day 2: The Family

Thomas had fallen asleep on the living room couch, still wearing his clothes from yesterday. His hair was a complete mess and his hygiene could be improved. He reached for his phone, but it wasn’t next to him, it was most likely upstairs on the charger. Thomas sat up, yawned and headed for the bathroom. Did he even manage to brush his teeth last night? Probably not because his mouth felt disgusting! When he entered, he looked for the toothbrush and toothpaste and began to brush away.

Seeing as Thomas had woken up, the others did as well. The first one to wake however, was Virgil. So much had happened yesterday, and it only got worse for the anxious side as the day went on. The one thing that stayed vivid in his mind from yesterday was the rage he felt, if Logan and Roman weren’t so dismissive towards Patton he would be right here next to him, and if Deceit hadn’t decided to silence him then Patton never would have ran away! Heck, Patton would probably be cooking breakfast for everyone if he were here, but he wasn’t here. No, Patton was still resting in his room while Logan was watching over him. While Virgil was sitting on the staircase.

The second side to awake was the Prince himself. He was glad he had awoken, because his dreams tormented him. Even in sleep he still felt guilt and regret. He figured he deserved it. He didn’t know what was worse, the fact that he harmed his friend, or the fact that he was still concerned about his ruined reputation. Roman wondered where Thomas was, he was absent from the living room, but then he noticed the bathroom lights were on. He noticed that Virgil was staring at him, but Princey avoided his gaze and instead looked down at his sword, which was still on the floor, with dried blood stains. It was honestly a miracle that Thomas hadn’t noticed it already, but the creative side didn’t want to risk it. Seeing as Thomas still hadn’t left the bathroom the sides were free to roam around. The creative side got up and walked towards his sword. He flinched,but still picked it up.

Deceit was the last of the three to awake, after all, he was dream visiting a certain fatherly figure he was missing. But, where was was Thomas? He closed his eyes, trying to locate him. As he snapped back to reality he asked Virgil,” How long has Thomas been brushing his teeth for?” Virgil didn’t answer, for some reason Virgil was looking at, oh, right, Roman. The two faced side shifted his glance, he did not want to see Roman standing still doing nothing but looking at his sword the day after he attacked Patton, but nonetheless that is what he saw. He went to stand up and approach the Prince, but he was dragged back to his spot as Thomas finally left the bathroom. Maybe now Thomas would try to solve this dilemma, and no, no he is going upstairs to get his phone.

Logan awoke, his vision blurred as his glasses weren’t on his face. The brightness of his surrounding reminded him of his location. Before he could consider locating food, he would have to find his glasses. His first instinct was to push his hair out of his eyes so he could see better, or at least better than he could previously. After he had messed with his hair, he looked to his side and noticed what seemed to be an outline of his glasses, as he grabbed them and put the frame onto his face, he noticed a key detail that he failed to see before. The key detail was not what he did see, but rather a lack of seeing something, what he didn’t see was Patton. Patton was not on the couch and the room appeared to be extra bright, almost blinding, was Patton doing this on purpose? He cared not, all he knew was that he currently did not want to be in this room any longer, and he was hungry. Logan has sunk down and popped back up to join the others in the living room.

“Is he gone?” the fatherly figure thought, he had been awake for what seemed like hours. The last thing he remembered was, Roman? Patton was still in scrambles, he still had Dee’s cape thingy around his head, which was weird because last night while he was dreaming, he thought he saw his friend in his dreams. When Patton woke up, he saw Logan, and he didn’t want to wake his friend up but, honestly he just didn’t want to deal with him today. So instead of being rude, he decided the best thing to do would be to hide in his bathroom and make the room so obnoxious it would force the logical side to leave, and Patton thought it had worked. But for some reason, he didn’t want to leave. Not yet anyways.

Before Logan could comprehend and analyze the situation in front of his eyes, there was a knocking at the door. With Roman in the middle of the room, holding his still bloody sword, no one dared to move to answer the door. However this did not stop whomever was outside, for suddenly the door was swung open, and seemingly another side had joined the party? He definitely looked like Thomas, same facial features and structure, same height, same hairstyle etc. the one odd detail that the the logical side noticed was this “new member” had a piece of paper stapled to his shirt that simply read ‘SLEEP’ Then, he spoke. “Hey everyone, what’d I miss?” The new, and rather odd, persona looked around at everyone and began his monologue,” Oh my god Prince is that you, girl, it has been waaaayy too long since-” Before ‘Sleep’ could continue, Roman simply turned around, and although ‘Sleep’ was wearing sunglasses, it appeared the two had made eye contact, at least from Logan’s perspective.

End of Chapter 2 part 1 To Be Continued….?

Tag List : Sorry if being tagged bothered you, I just honestly can’t find the post that kept the names of people who asked and want to be tagged in this so I just copied what I had on chapter 1 @zhe-lazy-fox @deceitprotectionsquad @heckoffmate @heartfelt-patton-sanders @whos-she-never-heard-of-her @deceit-deceitful @creative-robot @deceitthereptile @deceits-heatlamp @sidexpilot

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deeeelightfuldee · 3 years

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How many cats and dogs have you had as pets in your lifetime? oooo boy. ok lets see. 5 dogs, 9 cats?

Can your mom and/or dad play any instruments, or how about anyone else in your family? My mom doesn’t play anything. My dad is a drummer

Have you ever colored in an adult coloring book as a stress reliever? Yes. I’ve done it this week alone, just to try and calm down a little.

Can you crack crab legs without a tool? i have no idea. I don’t eat crab or anything in the sea for that matter.

How many light sources are in the room you’re in? ooo good question. umm, eight? lol

What’s your favorite thing to put on bagels? uhhh cream cheese.

Who’s your favorite director? i really don’t know, i don’t follow who directs what.

Bats: cute or gross? i mean, I don’t really care.

What was the last really intense pain you felt? lung pain during this whole nonsense.

Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake? either.

How would you feel about traveling abroad alone? I would love to, but I don’t see it happening with the travel restrictions these days.

What is your father's middle name? He doesn’t have one. he’s got a family name and the men who have it do not have a middle name. Where did your last kiss take place? uhhh I believe on my driveway

Which movie villain do you find the most terrifying? no clue, tbh. none that come to mind

Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures? I don’t think ive ever done that.

Which one of your family members are you closest to? My mom. one of my brothers and my sister.

Would you rather have name brand shoes or name brand clothes? brand names just don’t matter to me, but if i was forced to choose i guess shoes?

Are you a good liar? no. not at all.

Are you proud of your parents? Im super proud of my mom.

Which is better: orange or grape soda? orange

Was the last thing you ate hot or cold? hot. so yummy.

Who was the last person in your house who isn’t family? uhhhhhhh, idk who was here when I wasn’t in town, but prior to that I would imagine em/nathan

What color was the last swimsuit you wore? green

Can you remember the last song you listened to? something from the toy story soundtrack lol. I’m binge watching all four today... I am using Kile’s disney+ for as long as he has it. I don’t think he watches it ever, so I imagine it’ll cut off soon.

Have you ever been dumped really harshly? once. it was horrible. every other time I’ve done the break up.

Can you do a back flip, or anything else of that sort? heck’n no. unless im going into a pool maybe.

Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? yes

What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? he sexually assaulted me

Are you more of a phone or a computer person? my preference is laptop,

Do you have a job, and if so, where do you work? not currently.

If not, do you want one? yeah i’d like to have income.

Do any medical afflictions run in your family? yes. a few.

What’s your favorite Mexican dish? pork tacos from mama marias omggggggggggggg.

Have you ever been to a professional sports game? yes. bulls games, bears games

Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? of course.

What months were you and your siblings born in? january, july, august, august

What did you have for dinner last night? nicks.

Do you do anything to groom your eyebrows? absolutely. to keep the shape n such.

Has your town ever flooded? uhhhhh to my knowledge once. it had rained SO heavily for like a week and the local ponds and lakes were over-flowing. a car literally floated down my road. it was so weird.

Have you ever played at the McDonald’s play place? when I was a kiddo yes. not often tho cus I didn’t like the smell, it was always sticky, and there were always bratty kids.

Have you ever taken a picture of snow? only every single day it snows

Do you cry easily? i notoriously do not cry in front of anyone. I am not a crier. when I lost Kile I cried for weeks.

Are you happy with where you live? I love it.

Do people ever mistake you for being a different race? No

Do you hate the last person you kissed? no, i’m not a hateful person

What genre is your favorite movie? drama, romance, kids lol

Who was the last person you were in a car with? Mom. she picked me up from the airport.

Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? yes. I always seem to get the nice workers and they help so much.

When was the last time somebody hit on you? yesterday. blegh.

Was the last person you met a male or female? hmm. Iiiiiii wanna say male.

What brand is your underwear? I think the pair im wearing is hanes.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? usually green bean casserole.

Do you have a TV in your room? yup. watching TS1 right now.

Are any of your electronics charging right now? my phone. of course it was on 2 percent.

What was the last video game you played? acnh on the switch.

What’s the biggest promise someone’s ever made to you? Did they keep it? that they will be there for me forever and always take care of me. no.

Google, Bing, or Yahoo? Google.

What was the last song you had on repeat? more by bobby darin

Who is your favorite person to watch on YouTube? froggy fresh

How many college degrees do you want? i have two. I’d like my masters and/or phd

Can you wink? yes but I dont think it looks good lol i have to get better

Do you own any jerseys? I did, I dont know if I have any still

Have you ever tried to snort Pixie Stix as a child, or even an adult? No. i wasn’t a dumb child and i certainly wouldnt do that as an adult

Do you like going to baby showers? Do you go only for the cake? not really no.

Has there ever been a time in your life, you felt sexually undecided? no.

Do you think tattoos and piercings are sexy on the opposite sex? im not into piercings on guys. tattoos are fine if they arent trashy

Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? all the time.

What color are the headphones you have at this moment in time? kind of a creamy taupe-y color

Ever choked severely on something during lunch at your school? no

Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie? i probably consume more fruits? but i love both.

What would you say is the color of your favorite bra? white

Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? no. sadly

What do you usually buy when you go to the dollar store? i cant even tell you the last time i went to a dollar store.

Ever peed in the pool? Be honest! I would have been murdered lol no i dont do that. it grosses me out.

When you’re older, what kind of house do you want to live in? something on a lot of land, big front porch.

Where do you want to get married? probably a courthouse. maybe outdoors?

Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? no. just mom.

What is your favorite childhood TV show? recess

Honestly, do you like school? no. i looooooooooooooooooooooooove it.

Last thing that made you cry? probably dejavu.

Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now? sort of yes.

Last person you took a walk with? liza, em, dutch, della

Have you ever liked someone who didn’t like you back? i think currently to be honest.

Who was the last person to actually pick you up in the air? lol either mario or an old friend david

Does any part of your body hurt? yeah. my muscles have been weakening sooooooo bad it is so painful.

If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a regret what would you do? Million bucks. noooooooooooo question.

Can you keep a secret? Sure.

Your favorite romantic movie? sleepless in seattle probs.

How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? I loved it for the longest timeeeeeeee. i dont think ill love it as much this next year, but maybe by then ill have met someone new who knows.

Who was the last person you took a picture with? uuuuuhhh probably one of my nephews/niece

Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? Some do, some dont.

Do you celebrate 420? Nope. verrrrrry much not my thing.

Have you ever kicked a vending machine? i think so lol

How do you eat Oreos? with milk.

Do you wear your shoes in the house? sometimes. my preference is slippers. we usually wear something on our feet because gram needs to and so does mom.

Would you survive in prison? probably not, tbh.

Ever been to Georgia? the state, yes. many times. the country? never.

Do you get your hair cut every month? gosh no. my dream is to get my hair done professionally again sometime, but its so daggum expensive.

Current relationship in detail. I am single. i will probably start casually dating soon.

If you were kicked out of your house, who would you call/go to? i dont even know. I always imagined I’d go to kile. but who knows now.

List things you spend money on in an average week. i can go several weeks without spending.

Rate each of your sexual partners (if any) from 1-10. ooooooohhhhhh, id rather not.

Would you parents be mad if you were in a relationship? i am convinced bill would not give a fig whether or not im in a relationship. mom, however, would probably be EEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXtra cautious now.

Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you? oh im sure.

Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to? yes. even if we don’t talk anymore... theres just always a connection.

What board games are you good at? oooo, i’m very good at board games.

Is there a sport/hobby you keep thinking about taking up, but that you’ve never quite gotten around to starting? quilting. its expensive and im not wanting to get it all cvid-y

Do you think pranks like egging/toilet-papering someone's house are funny or immature? Immature.

Do you think “sleeve tattoos” are a good idea? there are people who can pull it off, but it is notttttttttt my style.

Is there anything in particular that your parents argue about? What? debt bill put my mom in. they don’t speak tho.

Do you ever actually read the “Terms and Services” when you sign up for websites and such? the first couple years.

If you have a handheld games console (a DS or GameBoy, for example), how often do you use it? I don’t use the switch handheld, despite really wishing i could. the controllers are broken and beyond what I can afford. so I just use the tv dock.

Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, what do you say? i’d pick it up 1000000000000000% , I just would be so curious what they would say.

If your best friend was kicked out, would your parents let him/her live with you? absolutely.

Are you afraid of falling in love? I am. I don’t ever again want to feel the way ive felt with my two heart breaks.

Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now? yes, but the feeling is lessening. I responded to him for the first time in... idk how long. thinking he’d be eager to talk and be responsive. he wasn’t. it just pushes me further and further from feeling those feelings.

Have you ever kissed someone & wished you didn’t? no, i dont think so.

Did you get kissed last night? goodness no.

Do you enjoy going through a carwash? I love it.

How did you get most of your scars? benny. by far.

Ever had to take an inkblot test? I have taken 2. One for a fellow student in a classroom who had to administer it for a project. another time in a psych class the prof asked me to for a demonstration

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? yep! the only time ive been grounded.

Have you ever seriously slapped someone in anger? no. I do not get physical in my anger. I withdraw.

What/who woke you up this morning? Just me.

Who was the last person to be in your bedroom besides you? My mom. dropping off ice water and benny.

What’s one of your locked text messages? I don’t even know if this phone locks messages tbh. I used to do that all the time on my t9 phones.

Have you ever finished a game of Monopoly? I think maybe 1 time.

Is there anyone you know who’s in any way paralyzed? Yes.

The truth all comes out when someone is drunk, true? I wouldn’t say alllllllll, but i do think inhibitions are lowered so it makes it easier

When was the last time you felt disappointed in yourself? messaging kile and realizing he isn’t interested in responding. makes me feel so dumb.

How about feeling disappointed in someone else? something a family member did to me this past week.

For you, do you commonly feel more jealousy or envy? ummm. lately it’s been jealousy. i dont like people taking what was mine. but i’m learning if they had access to it, that likely means that it is best to let it go. so maybe im now leaning towards envy of like beautiful relationships.

Do you rely on the heads/tails flipping of a coin sometimes for decisions? uhhh, not unless its like in a joking, light-hearted manner.

Do you have any specific chores you do around the house? when im not sick... i vacuum, dust, do dishes, wipe counters and table, do laundry of others, disinfect, etc.

For you, does comfort or fashion come first in dressing? I would say 51% comfort and 49% looking nice

Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other? yes. lots of jealousy due to their feelings toward me.

Do you like Laffy Taffy? No. not my style of candy

Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? manual.

Are your biceps at all noticeable? hardly.

Have you ever seen a walrus? absolutely!

Did you ever have one of those Easy Bake ovens as a kid? no. one time moms friends daughter (who was significantly older than me) lent hers to us... but there were no mixes of anything. so I didn’t know what to do with it.

Does your bathroom have a theme to it? nope.

From inside of your house, how many doors lead outside? uhhhhhhhh 3 if you dont include the garage door.

Are there a lot of trees in your yard? i wouldn’t say a lot. I wish.

Have you ever liked someone that treated you like crap? treating me like crap cuts down my interest like immediately.

Have a best friend? meh.

Does it bother you when your best friend does stuff without you? no.

Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? yes. I dont need to concern them or worry them.

Does anyone hate you? kiles ex(?) i am sure does.

What’s the one thing you regret more than anything? hm. i dont really have any.

Do you remember important dates? yes. almost always.

What’s some lyrics from a song that means a lot to you? “what if we could put the world on hold and finally meet somewhere inside of the world? I would meet you... would you meet me?”

Who gives the best advice? mom

Who do you usually see in your dreams? :) It varies. depends on who I think about.

What type of cake did you last eat? graduation cake.

How many of your friends are gay or bisexual? I have like 4 casual friends that are, but my closest friends are all straight.

What’s your favorite type of sandwich? buona chicken one. bless it.

When was the last time someone asked you out? Did you accept or decline? tonight. I said maybe once this quarantine business is over.

Do you like The Offspring? I know a couple of songs but I definitely can’t call myself a fan. << same

One pillow or two? 12

Do you like Mad Libs? not really no.

Are you suicidal? no. I mean there are moments where I think wow, i dont want to be here. but not like let me put together a plan.

Where do your grandparents live? my fathers parents were killed by a drunk driver bout ten years ago. My mothers father passed away maybe 12 years ago. My gram is fine and lives in the room down the hall.

Do you cut yourself? not purposely

What is your pet’s name? benny and lottie.

Have you ever been to Canada? not yet.

Aren’t babies overrated? no, no. theyre expensive af though.

Have a built-in pool in your backyard? i wish more than anything but no.

Ever won yourself a stuffed animal? maybe once or twice. I one time had a guy win me an animal at a carnival and i found that sooooooooooooooooo attractive.

Ever had someone else win you a stuffed animal? woops. yes. lol

Ever been to a circus? i think when i was really little.

Ever shot animals? I have not. i couldn’t.

Do you consider yourself intelligent? I do. It is something I have some confidence in.

Have you ever run away from home? when my dad was abusive, yes.

Do you put family first, friends, relationships, school, or something else? faith, family, friends, school, relationships (only cus im not in one)

What’s something you’ve stood up for in the past? my faith.

What’s something you worked extremely hard to get? my degrees and honors.

Are you satisfied with your body image? no. I am honored to have a body that is capable of all that it is.. that has been my “home” all these years. the body that still breathes life every day, thats all incredible. I dislike having the fat that I do, as I worry it could be off putting to others. but then I realize im fine being single, so then my body imagine is fine. its a weird cycle.

Have you ever been labeled negatively or otherwise been called something extremely derogatory? yes. when I worked and a customer didnt like a policy or whatnot.

Have you ever seriously taken advantage of someone or been taken advantage of? never to my knowledge have I taken advantage of someone else seriously. I have been VERY seriously taken advantage of.

Have you ever been seriously ill? trying to get over it now tbh

Have you ever befriended a former enemy? uhhhh, not that I know of. I tend to be friendly to everyone, but I can’t think of a situation where it was an enemy.

If you’re not religious, would you ever pray as a last resort? If you are religious, do you often pray for other people? I do pray for others quite often. it’s important to me. I sometimes will see strangers and immediately start praying over them. I actually almost started my GRE late because I was praying over every person I saw in the room lol.

Have you ever dated someone, then after you dated they came out of the closet or switched (for lack of a better word) sexual orientation? no. not to my knowledge anyway.

Has a boy/girl ever walked a ridiculous distance just to see you? How about vice versa? yes! like 8 miles lol. I have not.

When was the last time you felt really uncomfortable? this past week.

Is there anything that your mom is really known for as to how she is as a person? shes everyones favorite. shes kind, funny, sarcastic, down-to-earth, warm.

Who have you been talking to the most today? mom lol

Are you nosy? I think it could be perceived as nosy but I love to make people feel ridiculously special. So I will sit and ask questions just to get them talking about themselves. If I recognize the personal questions are not working, I’ll keep it totally light.

What’s the meanest thing you have done to a friend? i really dont know.

If your ex called you crying, what would it most likely be about? if we consider kile an ex, it would probably be that he feels overwhelmed and feels alone because he doesnt have me or his ex anymore. :(

Who was the best kisser out of all the people you have kissed? ooooo thats hard to narrow down.

Have you ever been told that you have an annoying laugh? no. everyone comments on how they love when it turns wheezy.

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falteringfaith · 3 years

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20 things I learned in 2020

1. The only certainty in life is uncertainty.

This is obviously true in the case of, you know, a global pandemic, but even moreso is the way this permeates every aspects of our life on earth. Fundamentally, nothing in certain. No time has ever been ‘precedented’. This year was a reminder of that, but so was clerkship in general. Every month, every new rotation forced me to confront the difficulties I had managing uncertainty. As a person who needs to know EVERYTHING at all times, I was forced to accept that I simple could not know it all in these clinical scenarios. This doesn’t mean it made it any easier to deal with - I still get pretty anxious the night before a new rotation, but I certainly deal with it easier than before.

2. Ask for help.

Ask and so you shall receive! Why stumble around the hospital by yourself, sweating anxiously and checking your watch nervously as the minutes tick by closer to when you’re supposed to be at X or Y destination, when you can ask someone who is (in my experience - literally always) willing to help? Now, I stride in and ask the first person I see where I can find what I am looking for. People want to help - you just need to ask. Whether its for finding something or letting someone you can confide in know that you’re struggling - ask.

3. You are what you do every day.

Aristotle said it best, so I won’t mince his words. What we spend our time doing each day reflects what is valuable and important to us. This year, for the first time in my life, I began to work out for myself and made it a habit. I wasn’t doing it to lose weight, to participate on a team, or for any other reason than for me. I noticed myself get stronger, happier, feel better. I made it a habit to the point where when I don’t do it, I feel off. I didn’t think this was something that was possible for me - rather, that I was destined to a life of just not being an exercise person. But here’s the thing - everyone is and can be an exercise person. You just have to be doing it for the right reasons - for wanting to move your body in a meaningful way each day because thats what makes it feel right. I hope to come to love my body and all it does for me in the coming years. I would lie to say that I love and am truly accepting of it right now, because I know I am not. But I do know that I am treating it a whole lot better than I ever have before.

4. Be vulnerable/STOP PEOPLE PLEASING

Holy fuck --- this !!!!!!!! You do not need to have it all figured out. You do not need to pretend that you are unphased by things or that you are the ~chill~ girl. This does not benefit anyone, and it certainly does not benefit yourself. People want honesty. They want to know how you’re feeling. All you do by shutting that away is harbor negativity and resentment that end up exploding later. I was taught to hide these emotions growing up for whatever reason - shame, embarrassment, whatever - but I will stop doing this. You cannot begin to unpack the why of how you are feeling, and try to achieve more, if you don’t do this. You should be open and raw - tell people why you love them (like when you messaged people you felt grateful for over twitter and facebook last summer) or why you felt badly about things (like you did in your relationship). You deserve to be heard.

5. Take a walk.

The power of going for a walk to clear your headspace and give you time away was truly found this year. Nature is grounding. Fresh air feels like it lifts the weight off your chest. Spend time outdoors - don’t feel badly if you cant - and breathe deeply. Feel the earth against your feet as you propel forward and deal with emotions. Whether it was 5 minutes between virtual clinics or 5 hours walking around when you were upset and in an argument with Felipe, taking a walk was the answer.

6. People like people that they like.

This year, in clerkship, I learned that it is not always important to be the smartest or wisest or wittiest. You dont even have to be smart, wise or witty. You just have to be trying, responsible, likable. A good team player. On most days, being just me, at my baseline, was more than enough. I think this year I realized that I am likeable (or affable) as one of my strengths. It was the CL psych nurses (Karen telling me “you are a star” on my last day and making me tear up on my walk down the hill back to my car parked on Strachlan), or it was the R3 on gen surg (”you have a good energy”) or whoever else. Not necessarily things or fields I knew the most about, but just who I am. And that was nice to hear. Stop the imposter syndrome - you are enough.

7. Non-fiction books can be enjoyable.

Fiction is still better, but there is lots to be learned in a good non fiction.

8. Get comfortable being uncomfortable.

You bawled your eyes out on your birthday morning, at Felipe’s house on James. You sat on the balcony and couldn’t control all the tears that wanted to come out. It was blackout tuesday, and where was the validation that your year MEANT something if it wasn’t shown via birthday posts on instagram? More than this, people ARE DYING IN A GLOBAL PANDEMIC, SARA. And even moreso than that, you were flooded with, dare I say, WHITE GUILT that this was the way you were feeling in the midst of pronounced racial, civil unrest. For the first time, I think you were really confronted - every day, for weeks - with the fact that you were white. You knew this before, of course, but this was blaring at you from every angle, even on your fucking birthday. And here’s the thing - things will never go bac to the way they were, when you were afforded the privilege of being blissfully ignorant and unaware of your race. When it wasn’t something you had to think about, at all, because you were obviously part of the majority and benefiting from your race in innumerable ways each and every day. We’re not going back there. The only way forward is through. Get over your guilt, we’ve got shit to do.

9. External vs. Internal validation

I think this year you really realized how much you depend on external validation to feel valued and confident. I wish for you to see in the coming years how much more you are than just what people tell you. You are bold, brilliant, confident, clever and strong because you are - not because others tell you so.

10. Recognizing my emotional dysregulation

This year, I became a lot more aware of the fact that I emotionally dysregulate and have extreme tempers or profound sadness with a baseline of general bubbly/contentment/joy. Now, it’s going to be all about managing it...

11. Envy/comparison is a thief of joy.

12. You’ll never know if you don’t try.

I am proud of all the ways in which you put yourself out there this year and applied to things. You got rejected - a lot. Whether it was awards and scholarships (OMA ambassador, all the general scholarships through MacMed) or leadership opportunities (where to begin? OMSA day of action lead or even being part of the OMSA day of action), or the million times you vowed that you would not apply for Ontario Regional Director. There were so many times that week you wanted to quit - to not write a script, to not attend a zoom session, to pull out even when you just saw the competition - but you didn’t. You learned a lot, you practiced giving a zoom speech, and you chatted with some interesting people. You lost the election, but you personally did not lose anything. While at that time it was a tough pill to swallow, here you are. Now you have more time to dedicate to your YWCA partnership, and isn’t that a beautiful thing after all?

13. Stop putting things off - do them right away!

Still working on it lol.

14. Popcorn

15. Being a good friend/girlfriend/daughter is a skill.

Noone ever tells you, I feel, that having strong, close relationships is hard work. You can’t just sit idly by. You also can’t expect that giving a gift or saying some nice words is enough. Especially in a year of social distancing - you had to get creative. Face times, flowers delivered, watching netflix simultaneously on the extension with Felipe (money heist anyone?), zoom hang outs, picnics at Oakville lakeshore, scheduling monthly hang outs with Sharon.. relationships are about making the time and investing into it like you would with anything else. You don’t necessarily have to be doing fancy things like this either - but emotional intimacy is important and necessary, too.

16. If you’re not doing it because you love it, it won’t give you any contentment.

All the extracurriculars in the world don’t matter if they dont make you tick.

17. The opportunity for learning/gratitude is everywhere.

Whether its from patients sitting right in front of you (listen to them, always), podcasts, or anywhere else. There are opportunities to learn all around you. Likewise, there are always, ALWAYS things to be grateful for. Take a moment to pause and think about what you learned or are grateful for in a day. There is always something.

18. You’re actually really good at procedures.

Why did you think you weren’t? Were you indoctrinated to believe that only men were good with their hands? Regardless... don’t be nervous. You’re good at them!

19. Routine, good nights of sleep are not overrated. Not at all.

20. Residents are the unsung heroes of the medical student experience. They make or break a rotation, and influence it more than any other factor. Future Sara you better be a fucking good resident to your med students.

Honourable mention goes to this awesome moment this year that I almost forgot happened, but thankfully tweeted about - “No better way to spend International Women’s Day than on the Labour & Delivery floor witnessing the strength, power & tenacity of mama’s in labour! First delivery of the day - unmedicated () with a beautiful baby girl joining the world!”

Another honourable mention to coming together with a fun crew to create COVIDreview, which unexpectedly got lots of media attention and praise but, most of all, was a fun way to get to know people in my class that I didn’t normally speak to.

On other notes, I will cherish the fact that I got to spend 3 months in my parents home with them for the first time in many, many years. We watched movies, did yoga, baked (a LOT), and went for many, many, repetitive walks. I love them more than words can describe and cannot imagine a life without my parents (and my brother). My family is everything.

I am also very appreciate to be in a relationship with Felipe that is constantly pushing me to be better and to recognize things about myself I didn’t know (or didn’t want to know). These things sometimes upset me, but ultimately I recognize they are important for my growth and leading me into becoming more of who I want to be. I am learning so much about myself, what I need and want in a partner, and how to communicate more effectively to convey these things (versus not communicating this at all in the past). Things aren’t always easy but I cherish the moments that happened this year (starting the year off travelling Arizona with him, meeting his sister/niece/nephew, him meeting my family, coming to Blue Mountain, going on an impromptu trip to Niagara, all the biking expeditions, going to Stratford for his birthday!!). I also must (MUST!!!!!) stop comparing my relationships to others.

Overall, I find it ironic that the year marked by a GLOBAL PANDEMIC is the year where I was finally forced to stop, pause, and prioritize my health. My physical health, in building a habit for fitness that finally stuck, my emotional health in learning to recognize what I want in relationships and *starting* to ask for it/be vulnerable, and my mental health in taking the time for sleep, walks, and meditation (sometimes more than others). Lets continue to take these lessons into 2021.

0 notes

samanthaknopper-blog · 6 years

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rollercoaster

I have had a rollercoaster of thoughts today... from being stressed about being able afford to travel in July, to needing to buy a house instantly, to needing to save the planet from global warming (the CORAL IS DYING!!!). As i do most saturdays i try to only watch things on netflix that will educate me about a topic. I have been following one project where the dutch guy has designed a sort of contraption to collect and remove plastic from the worlds ocean ( plastic ocean on netflix). They have done all the testing and got the money and are currently assembling the “thing” ( for lack of an actual word) and it should be launched into the sea off the west coast of LA in the coming months. I’m actually very excited to watch it all happen. It is really sad that there is literally 1000 and 1000′s of tonnes of plastic in the ocean. It is such a beautiful part of our world and people have such disrespect for it. One of the main things they find out there is fishing nets. Fishing boats either toss them or lose control and basically no one is watching and no way to trace it back to the ship - so what do they care. I would think that fisherman who rely on it for an income would have more respect for their livelihood. Anyways so yes i am excited to see that first stage of the project be launched and if it is successful they will launch more of the “things” to speed up the collection of plastics.

The first doco i watched today was ‘before the flood’ which has Leo DiCaprio as the main person. It literally baffles me that USA still has politicians saying its all bullshit... global warming is a hoax... Here i am in Colombia where it is known that the government and police etc take bribes. You would think that in a country that is “the leader of the free world” would be above that. I actually hate when they call themselves that... it is literally one of the worst countries to live in...each for their own and they don’t care about the damage their success does. They can’t sort out their gun issues because the gun people own the government and they wont accept or acknowledge global warming offically because the fossil fuel companies pay millions and millions to the high up politicians to pay scientists to say its all false. Trump is such a moron “ Global warming??!? its freezing today” like can he be more dumb!... but he is the leader of the “free world” god help us if that is who is running one of the most influential countries in the world. This doco brought up a good point... like there are so many developing countries - take india.. where 300 million people dont even have power yet... the equilivent to the population of USA. Like my thought would be to just put a solar panel on each house and then that stops the need to start them on fossil fuels and then move them to a green tech... but the indian lady was like why should we when 1 american creates more of a footprint than 10 indians put together. Leo was pretty honest and was like well Americans won’t change their ways... and she is like exactly.. so why should we? it is the american Right! to use as much power as they want. ALways their right. *eye roll* ... it will also be their right to relocate Florida in 30 years or so when the ocean takes over the city.

The 2nd one was about how the coral is bleaching every year during “el nino”. Soon the coral wont be able to recover before it happens the following year and it will die completely giving no homes to millions of fish ... and then what will happen to all the communities who rely on fishing for food and income? They basically explained it like the human body... if our core temp rises even a few degrees it is dangerous for us. Its the same in the ocean.. the coral can not survive when the water is to hot.. and that can be by 1 or 2 degrees. So althought trump may not feel it because he is cold *eye roll* the ocean does and it is suffering silently. The Great Barrier reef lost 30% of its coral in 2016 and it is just going to increase every “el nino”.

Merge this with my stress that i need a buy a house as soon as i get back to Australia.. but will have zero money .. and then deciding my house will have solar power... to do my little part.. I did even look up hybrid cars..but that is a bit beyond my reach financially lol..I shall have to wait until they come down in cost. Also ... I may also have 2 or more jobs when i get back just so i can save money quickly so i can get into the housing market.

I remember a convo i had with Rach.. or a convo she told me she had with the mother of the kids she auparied for in France the other year ( gosh that is nearly 3 years ago RACH!!). Anyways Rach said she had a convo with the mum about what she was going to do next and rach had said the she might move to another country and have another year abroad and the mum had said stop putting your life on hold. I feel like i am having feelings of that... i have put my life on hold... i am obviously living my life and growing as a person ( i hope) but like.. i am not going forwards towards the life goals i had set out for myself in my early 20′s ( or to be honest when i was 12). I wanted to own a lot of house by the time i was 30.... that age has gone and i literally have like $2000 to my name.. and nothing that is actually an asset to my life. That does stress me. I want to be able to have my own income free of a job... and the time is ripe to enter the real estate market and begin taking hold of my portion. For now i literally can do nothing lol. I will think on it and see what i can do so i return to Australia with a little bit of savings.. enough to jump start me into some what of a positive life moving forward.

Many thoughts.. many mini stresses... but for now all i am going to do is focus on my trip to aruba / peru and walking the trail to Macchu piccu...

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shadyacademicposts · 4 years

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One in preparedness, One as a community

04 December – My NSTP class required me to contextualize all my learnings from my e-read lectures and discussions of DRRM lessons by turning it into a personal learning adventure. The visit itself taxed me minimally since the community I visited was literally one block away from my apartment. Overall, it was truly a learning experience and I am glad to have met the wonderful and warm people of Barangay 459, Sampaloc, Manila.

Kagawad Anthony M. Reyes was the one kind enough to answer all our questions about his little community. Barangay 459, was a minuscule barangay compared to the ones surrounding it, only covering streets from MF Jhocson up to Moret Street. Found along Espana Boulevard, across University of Santo Tomas. The Barangay hall itself is located under the overpass, right infront of The ONE Torre De Santo Tomas.

It is best to emphasize that this is really a small community, located in a commercial area in the university belt, it hardly suffers any disasters that most barangays in the provinces unfortunately go through. With that being said, that doesn’t mean they totally don’t experience any diasters at all, it just that they’re really minimal. As thomasians, we have all experienced those hazardous floods caused by torrential rains, along espanya most especially. However, floods aren’t that much of a problem now compared to how bad they were before. Flooding is still very much a possibility but the situation has improved. The local government and the Metro Manila Mayor’s office has been working hand in hand to fix the drainage issues along UST.

Aside from this, the most issues they have faced are the stubborn people from the older generation. The barangay itself has implemented a lot community projects for the improvement of the community like the Mon-Fri daycare center that is free for use for single parents in the community. But these goals can be obstructed if the people in the community don’t cooperate so teamwork is a must.

That being said, the barangay officials are still trying their very best to address possible needs the community might need in the face of disasters. As we went along with our interview, I noticed a pattern in the way Mr. Anthony Reyes answered my questions about how they deal with issues in the community during tough times. He always spoke about cooperation and working as a team. Which I think is one of their best qualities. They have this mentality of not leaving anyone behind in the face of danger. When asked if there was one specific task assigned per person in their community, he said formally there are services that each person is asked to provide. However, in real life, they do the best that they can to help each other no matter the formalities. Team work makes the dream work as they often say.

Unfortunately, despite their very righteous and bayanihan mindset, it was quite disappointing to hear that they do not have a detailed document at hand about what to do during disasters and a hazard map to identify the problem areas of their community. This is due to the fact that since Mayor Isko Moreno’s election in the office, most barangays had to revamp old plan of actions in order to accommodate the passing of times. Barangay 459 still has not finalized their most current plan of actions or DRRM plans in times of calamity. Another problem I have identified is that they don’t have a formal go-to evacuation center in times of an earthquake. Kagawad Reyes answered that this is because they are a small community. So there was not really a need for it, if there came a time that an earthquake will struck the place he said that the LGU and the Mayor’s office will help them in relocating the residents near the Municipal hall of Manila. Therefore, there really is no convenient safe space in their tiny barangay, an open area to rush to in times of a dangerous event. Lastly, another issue is that since Kagawad Reyes was unable to provide concrete documents I doubt they have trained their citizens on the dos and dont’s during a calamity which is a very important thins to do.

After a short 11-minute interview with Kagawad Reyes, we proceeded to walk around the streets of MF Jhocson until Moret Street in order to identify hazard places and their best practices in the community.

These are the identified vulnerable elements that may put people at risk in times of calamities. Most of the buildings surrounding the barangay are made out of stronger materials and are built to withstand strong earthquakes. However, since this is still a residential area before it was even commercialized as we see it today, there are old houses that needs to be renovated with smarter materials. Kagawad Reyes explained that these are the places they keep monitoring as these are the parts of the community most people are vulnerable when danger might strike.

Local eateries and street vendors fill the place along with houses and dorms. The barangay itself is kept in very good shape considering how populated Sampaloc is and how many people pass through here even though they don’t live here. The barangay’s best practices involve the recycling of their wastes. This is very important as it can help in the drainage issue they experience during floods.

However, there are still a few bad seeds mixed with the mostly good ones of the community. Some still don’t follow the regulations posted around the place. Like the No Smoking sign found in the picture above. If you zoom in, you’d find little cigarette buts along the sign itself. Then we found the one place in the community where you can see a bit of trash piling up. These may be done by those who are passing through the community and not those who actually live there.

Overall Reflection and Learning

Overall the activity itself helped me learn a lot, reading DRRM and disasters from my e-reads is vastly different from walking along the community and talking about the possibilities of a disaster. It made me be more observant in my surroundings, what places to avoid and what places should be improved. Barangay 459 itself is a very strong community, characterized by the discipline exemplified by its citizens, the teamwork that can be seen through its barangay officials, the general welcoming atmosphere that can be felt when you talk to the people living there, the alertness and genuine care to the community I observed while I was talking to Kagawad Reyes was hard to come by especially coming from a government official.

The attributes I mentioned should be embodied by all the people here in our country, the alertness and willingness to help should be a no brainer already. Climate change is upon us, we are currently experiencing its harshness little by little. It’s not the time to stand by and belittle what being prepared for future calamities can benefit us. Geographically, the Philippines is very much susceptible to disasters and calamities alike since we are in the pacific ring of fire. Volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, earthquakes are something that should be prepared for in every community and should be taken with the utmost seriousness it deserves. To acknowledge and address the impending environmental issues we may or may not experience is paramount to saving thousands or millions of Filipino lives.

As a member of this community and nation, the vulnerabilities I have seen and observed in Barangay 459 is very common around the urban poor areas and the provinces. Structurally sound houses should be a priority, of course this could only be addressed properly if all people had the means to maintain a house with a good structural framework. However, considering our economy this is simply not possible without financial aid from the government. People in destitute areas are very much vulnerable when danger strikes, so their survival must be prioritized over those who has the privilege to save themselves. In correspondence to this, awareness, seminars/orientations on what to do when something bad happens should be made normal and implemented all over the country. Knowledge is power as they say, it can make or break one person’s possibility of survival.

#nstp #cwts #bdrrmkwentuhan #module4

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beatconductor-blog · 5 years

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[04>: you up?]

[> Hng. Bad time. Not like it will ever be a good time again, right? 😎>04: am i ever]

[04: we may never know. what do you have in stock for cat toys and adjacent?]

[😎>04: aw shit i sorry i spaced out for 😎: two hours 😎: uh havent been in my warehouse in a hot minute 😎: got a bunch there like mostly hello kitten stuff bc people like a good bit of illegal brands 😎: also a lot of other random stuff tho most of it is reserved for nepeta]

[04: i'm not gonna lie i'm just looking for gifts for nep.]

[😎: well fuck me cant have you gift her anything better than i do 😎: but turns out taking some unannouced offtime kinda made a dent into my sales soo i guess i can have you look around 😎: not like im desperate or anything]

[04: sweetheart you know i can have your back if your wallet's low, right?] [04: i'll be outside in a bit.]

😎[: like you dont already do > Well fuck you. Gdi.]

Clover 01/15/2019

> Your narrator's too tired to do this all fancy. You are There.

Dave 01/16/2019

> Sure alright, you're there too, totally not a day later. Where's the meeting? At the office or before your house? > Anyway, shit. You've already been nervous before, but actually seeing the green lil guy now fills you with so much anxiety and pain.

"Sup."

Clover 01/16/2019

> House ig?? "'Ey shadesy. You ready to show me 'round?"

Dave 01/16/2019

> Oh look, time to be even more nervous. You excused yourself from your bros because, you know, you actually got a business to run. Hope none of them are seeing you with Clover. "Sure. Hop on. I'd say if I had a car. You up for a walk?" > God please say he brought a car.(edited)

Clover 01/16/2019

"I can call a tax if you're out of shape," your tone is playful, if only because you're shoving your distress over literally everything deep deep down.

Dave 01/17/2019

"Yeah lets go with that, sure, that works." Meanwhile you'd absolutely love to repress all that feels bad you kinda stopped doing that when you got a moirail w*ho's dead now and can't really help you with all these terrible feelings and trauma and it's all because of these green fucks and-- You're incredibly uncomfortable and not nearly as good of an actor as pretty much everyone else in this city.

Clover 01/17/2019

Your mouth parts a bit as if you're going to say something, but you cut yourself off, breathing in and rubbing your face as you let out a sigh. As usual, a cab happens to drive by as soon as you need one, and you flag it down.

Dave 01/17/2019

Of course he immediately manages to get a cab. Actually a bit of a relief because you wouldn't wanna stand around here with him for another couple minutes. "So hey uh, real nice of you to get some stuff to treat Nep" you say as you get into the car, because you'd rather ramble down some nonsense than to suffer in awkward silence. "Been wanting to get her some stuff too but I'd been a bit hard to find some fitting free days to get together." First there was the paralysis thing, now this.. You know she's been kinda affected by this too, but you've honestly not been in the right headspace to worry about that too.

Clover 01/17/2019

Step one: don't overshare with the already distressed dealer. Just be chill. "Yeah," you say, leaning on the car door when you get settled inside, "she ain't been doin' too great, and she's th' last person to deserve that, bein' what an angel she is. None of us really have, but....think she's been hit deepest. Gotta do what I can to help, you know?" Instructions unclear, got dick caught in he brought it up first it's not your fault.

Dave 01/17/2019

You're quiet for longer than is usual for you. I mean you're pretty quiet these days either way, but considering you've just been rambling off, the pause is very notable. It's just. A lot to process. You love Nepeta a lot and god she's the last one you want to also be affected by this, but. 'Hit the deepest'. Yeah. Right. Hn. "'s cool. You.. got anything specific in mind? Like, there's a whole ton of plush and brand and off-brand jewelry and weird ass figurines, or are you just gonna be flooding her whole room in this stuff."

Clover 01/21/2019

"Basically just give me everything I can get, probably?"

Dave 01/21/2019

"Yyyeah alright I can work with that I guess." This is a business deal, no more and no less. Focus on that, Dave.

Clover 01/21/2019

"...You're rather lucky, you know." > You lean on the car door, and the rest is muttered under your breath, easily dismissed. "To be unaffiliated. We talked about the pain that it brings to be with both, what it feels like, how deep in hell you can get- but. When this kind of thing happens, you still pretty much answer to nobody and everybody. You still have a choice who you talk to, who you trust, who you work with. I wish I had that."

Dave 01/21/2019

You, likewise, lean against the door and look out the window. God, what wouldn't you give to just space out for a bit just now, but no, you're listening attentively, and give a dry and voiceless laugh in response. "Right, so lucky I am. Watching whatever friends I got left hurt and kill each other while I gotta play good ol Switzerland or else I'd be like, choosing sides, and stuff. But at least I can do deals with either side, get that good cash for all this junk. And hey, if I play nice enough, no one's out to hurt me, probably, minus a bit of extortion here or there yeah alright. Least I can chose not to trust anyone. Just the same old shit everyday."

Clover 01/23/2019

"Mmmm yeah 's fair enough, isn't it. Grass and greenness and all that noise, aye."

Dave 01/23/2019

You hold your breath for a moment, so many thoughts running wild in your head, but none that are good enough as an answer. You eventually let out a long drawn sigh. "Yeahh. It's like everywhere sucks." Almost as if a few assholes in this city fuck it over for everyone. Fortunately it shouldn't be too far to your office anymore.

Clover 01/23/2019

"Everywhere does suck, that's basically just Midnight City summarized." A soft huff through your nose. "It's all we can do to try to find gems in the dirt, I guess."

Dave 01/23/2019

"Ain't that the truth." You find yourself clutching your lower arm, the spot with the tattoos. Despite all... there's still some people you care about and that make you happy. They're making it worth it all.

Clover 01/23/2019

You hop out of the taxi and pull Dave's side open, humming to yourself as you offer to help him out.

Dave 01/23/2019

Not like you need help, but hey uh, if he insists. The hum reminds you to take a moment before getting out to put yourself back into a better mindset. "Alright, hope you got a van ready cause there's a lot of shit to pick up. Also bags are 10 cents each."

Clover 01/23/2019

"Can get one. I can also have 'em bring my own bags."

January 24, 2019

Dave 01/24/2019

"Eco-minded, I like that. Don't need to have plastic bags pollute the river any more."

Clover 01/24/2019

"That river gets anymore polluted and it's gonna start producing backstories for comic mutants."

Dave 01/24/2019

"Some might think it already does. Would make a good enough cover story at least."

Clover 01/24/2019

"Maybe I'll use that sometime."

January 25, 2019

Dave 01/25/2019

"I'm expecting royalties for the idea."

Clover 01/25/2019

"Your royalties are me coming to you as often as I do."

Dave 01/25/2019

"That's fair." > Well, as you talk, you're on your way inside into your stre, skipping the office room and heading right up and down some stairs into a room designated as the storage for all kinds of cutesy and mostly harmless merchandise, filled to the brim with plushies, toys, accessories of all brand and no-name variety. "Knock yourself out I guess."

Clover 01/26/2019

> Ehh you mostly just pick out a bunch of stuff and get someone to get it back to the manor with you. Not really much of note left to be had here.

Dave 01/26/2019

> Cool cool. Hella good and awkward business transaction.

#logs

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btssmxt-blog · 7 years

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Good for You

Description: Suit and tie, red dress, high heals, and the most perfect evening. You feel you have to over make yourself to even add up to anything in the presence of Kim Namjoon. But tonight he takes the time to describe how perfect you are to him from head to toe in excruciating detail.

Pairing: Rap Mon X Reader

Genre: Light fluff / Smut

Warning: strong language, tiny mention of alcohol, graphic smut

Probably one of my favorite pictures of this beautiful ass man, anyway, please tell me what you think of my debut smut. *wink wink*

-Tokki

In front of your vanity you eye yourself in the mirror, putting on the finishing last touches of your makeup. You made sure your hair laid down in perfect curls. You scanned your make up for any smudges or crooked lines, and then you adorned your ears with ruby earrings to match your bright red skin tight dress, that showed just enough skin.

You felt almost perfect. Almost, meaning you weren’t too sure if what you had on was enough for your boyfriend who you’d been soon meeting that evening. You tried to shake the fear and anxiety that had found a home in the pit of your stomach, but it was no use. You simply convinced yourself that whatever happened when he saw you, you’d promise to look better next time.

He’d be over your apartment any minute and you were literally running frantically back and forth in your heals trying to make sure that the dining room was set perfectly. Everything just had to be perfect for the perfect man you still weren’t sure how you managed to steel. For the past few weeks he has done nothing but treat you sweetly and made you feel nothing but comfort and love. He was your world and all you thought about and you hoped and wished on all of your stars that he wouldn’t get tired of you and leave.

There was a gentle but confident knock on the door, and your eyes darted toward the clock. 6:00 on the dot. He seemed to be very punctual with everything the both of you have planned so you shouldn’t have been as surprised as you were. But you felt your skin prickle and a strange hot/cold feeling that you always got when you were beyond nervous.

“C-coming…” You halfheartedly called as you drew in slow deep breaths to calm your nerves. He was here. You couldn’t keep him waiting.

Soon you were at the door, and with a timid reach for the nob, you unlocked it and pulled it open to be greeted by a tall male who was Namjoon Kim. He immediately grinned at you, his dimples flashing the moment he saw your face, but it quickly faded and contorted into something more serious as his eyes trailed down to observe what you were wearing.

“Wow…you look…”

You drew in a sharp breath and held it, waiting for whatever he had to say. He seemed to have noticed as his eyebrows furrowed curiously.

“Beautiful.” He finished before tearing his eyes away from where they lingered on your cleavage. “Well can I come in?” He asked and smirked slightly in amusement.

“O-oh…yeah. Come in.” You stepped out of the way and he walked past you, stealing a gentle peck away from you as he entered your home. He wondered why you were acting so nervous. He had come to your house plenty of times and has seen just about every room without a problem. He hadn’t seen you this nervous since the first time the two of you met.

Namjoon inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of what he assumed was steak that had been cooking. He had tasted your cooking before, but only little stuff like ramen or bulgogi. He was excited to taste your skills in making a gourmet-like meal.

You had gained your composure after you were slightly taken aback by his little kiss. Again, you weren’t too sure what you were worried about. You loved him, and you were pretty sure he felt the same..

You walked toward the kitchen where you watched him wander off to, following his nose. You smiled softly at his back that faced you. It was broad, and especially looked taught in his suit jacket. Your eyes trailed upward to his hair which was combed backward out of his face in such a perfectly attractive wait. You hummed to yourself at the pleasure you gained from just looking at him, and then you moved passed him to turn off the broiler.

“It smells good, baby.” He told you and walked up behind you. His arms wrapped around you and you couldn’t help but melt backwards into his chest.

“I almost didn’t eat all day because I was excited for tonight.”

“You should never starve yourself, Joonie.” You replied lightly.

“And besides, I want everything to be perfect for you, so you cant stay here.” You giggled and turned to look at his face. “ Go wait in the dining room and I will join you shortly.”

“Hm..” He hummed and pouted lightly as he briefly thought about arguing against it, but he decided not to. “Will there be wine?” He asked you quietly with a small playful smile.

You rolled your eyes in a playful manner and you pointed to the wine cooler beside the cabinets. “You know where the glasses are.” You said to him before turning back to your steaks and taking them out. You found yourself slowly relaxing. You were so glad that you decided to stay home to have dinner with him rather than going out. It felt a lot more intimate this way. So much more comfortable without the stress of a bill or poor service form a waiter.

Maybe you should do this more often.

Namjoon poured the both of you a glass of wine before bringing them into the dining room. He eyed the room with interest as he noticed the effort into making it look as romantic as possible. There was an intricately designed vase that sat in the middle of the dining table with two roses in them which you thought could represent the two of you. The oak wood table was dressed in a white table cloth and adorned with little flour petals. He smirked and looked upward at the ceiling. The lights were dimmed and he was amused by the way you tried to set the mood. Moonlight streamed through the window which really helped set the mood as well. He really appreciated your efforts, knowing all you wanted was him to be happy and impressed with you.

You stepped into the dining room with two plates in your grasp. You set one in front of where he sat and then the other on the opposite end of the table. You hummed, satisfied with the way everything looked.

You took your seat and then looked across the table to where your eyes met with a staring Namjoon. He wore a little smirk on his face and you wondered if he was even aware of it.

“Everything looks perfect, baby.” He complimented. “You especially.”

You blushed and looked down at your plate. You hoped that what you were feeding him was enough, or tasted alright at that.

“Thank you..” You replied shyly before meeting his eyes again. “So do you…as always, of course.” A sheepish smile appeared on your face as you attempted to compliment him without feeling shy. Failing, of course, but at least the words left your mouth.

His lopsided smile seemed to grow and he picked up his eating utensils. He was eager to eat. Like he had said earlier, he almost didn’t eat anything all day for excitement of this very moment. All he ate was a bowl of instant ramen, so yeah, he was hungry.

You watched him anxiously, not meaning to stare, but you really wanted to know what he thought. He cut a piece of steak which looked tender and juicy and he parted his plump lips, causing you to bite your own. You always thought his lips were pretty. Sinfully so, that it. You didn’t mean for such thoughts to suddenly flood your thoughts, but you couldn’t help yourself. You shook your head and focused again when he began humming in delight. He smiled, again revealing his attractive dimples and he looked at you happily.

“This is probably the best steak I’ve ever eaten.” He said sincerely. You felt a huge weight lift off of your shoulders and you were beyond proud of yourself when you learned that he really enjoyed the meal you especially slaved away to all day all for him. You could finally eat without any other worry. As you tasted the food, you were also surprised to see how good it really did taste, and you grinned to yourself.

“I’m so happy you think so.” You responded and flashed him a genuine smile. You didn’t notice that his eyes were lingering, again, far below your eyes. His chocolaty orbs scanned your entire chest and then looked up to your lips and watched closely every time they closed around your fork. You were oblivious as you convinced yourself that you shouldn’t look at him too much, afraid he will become uncomfortable.

After a little while he had pushed away his half eaten plate and sat back in his chair.

“Babe..” He said quietly. You still hadn’t noticed anything, but he had worked himself up so quickly that he was squirming a little in his chair, trying to relax himself from his growing erection that couldn’t be ignored.

“Yes?” You answered and finally met his eye again. You squinted just slightly as you saw something strange in his gaze. Something you didn’t recognize and had never seen from him before. Something that shot a fiery heat down to the pit of your belly, replacing that anxiety your had come to ignore and caused your thighs to quickly shut and squeeze together.

“Dinner was great but…I think I’m looking more forward to desert now. What did you have in mind?” He asked you and placed his hands under the table, out of your view.

“Oh…I had cake…b-but if you dont want any, I also have ice cream..and I think…-”

He cut you off with a little scoff and he shook his head.

“Y/N, I don’t want that kind of desert. I want something better than that.”

“O-oh. I’m sorry..” You said as you still haven’t caught on to what he was hinting at. “Well, maybe I can go to the store and-”

“Oh, my baby is so innocent.” He practically moaned out. Your breath hitched at the sound and that same hot/cold feeling washed over you. You watched him as he stood up and came toward you and finally you could pinpoint exactly what the look was his gaze held.

Lust.

You shook lightly as thoughts of him ravishing your body flooded your mind, but you weren’t too sure if you were ready for that step, no matter how enticing those thoughts you had were.

He came closer to you and he removed the fork from your hand. He then pulled you from your seat and brought you close to his chest.

“You look so delicious tonight.” He told you as his arms wrapped low around your waist. A sort of whimper escaped your lips when you felt exactly what you were doing to him and it really caught you by surprise. His bulge was hard against your stomach and you flushed red.

“I-I..how could I..?” You murmured, unsure if what anything he was saying was true at all and all he wanted was to just get off, or if it really was you that made him feel this way so suddenly.

“How could you? Your perfect, that’s how. Everything I ever dreamed of.”

You looked up at him and he could see your uncertainty. But he only smiled down at you. A gentle, loving smile that didn’t quite match the dark lust in his eyes.

“Come here.” He said calmly and gripped your wrist. He pulled you toward the bathroom and he grabbed a small face towel on his way in. “I’ve noticed you’ve been having a lot of doubts about yourself lately, but I just haven’t addressed them. But I think I will now because it’s gone a bit too far.” You watched him curiously as he positioned you in front of the mirror.

“You don’t ever need this.” He murmured gently to you, “I don’t ever want you to feel like you need to cover your face every time you see me.”

He wiped the towel against your face, applying a little pressure to ensure that he was getting off every pit of makeup. Once your face was bare he planted a loving kiss against your cheek.

“You are so much more beautiful in your own skin,” he told you. “And don’t ever let anybody tell you otherwise, because if I find out, I will beat their ass no matter who they are, do you understand?”

You nodded your head vigorously, 100 percent sure that he wasn’t lying. You had seen him get angry before to defend you and it was no joke. You shut your eyes when you felt his hands on your shoulders. His lips kissed you all across your jawline and then down to your neck.

“I want you to feel beautiful. You never have to over dress and pretend to be perfect because of me. You are perfect how you are, flaws and all, and I love each and every one of them.”

You blinked, not sure if you were going to cry or not. You opened your eyes and looked at his reflection. Your hand reached up and carded through his hair lovingly and you felt him smile against your skin.

“I don’t?” You asked him to be sure. No one had ever said anything like that to you before and you found yourself trusting and loving him a lot more.

“You don’t” He assured you. He lifted his head and looked up at you before he pressed his lips to yours. Your heart fluttered and you hummed happily against his soft plush mouth. You turned in his arms and his chest pressed firmly against yours. Confidence filled you slowly and you wrapped your arms around his neck. He kissed you carefully, not wanting to push you too far, but when he felt you deepening the kiss and kissing more passionately, he smirked and gripped your hips to pull you in closer.

“I think…” You breathed when his lips eventually trailed away from yours and down to the juncture between your shoulder and neck, “I’ll let you have desert now..” You panted softly, out of breath from kissing him for so long.

You jumped when you heard a sudden growl rumbling in his throat before escaping between his lips. That heat from before started up again and you were curious to know what he was like when he was in the mood, and he was eager to know everything you liked since this was the first big step the two of you were taking within your relationship.

“Then let me take the wrapper off of my special piece of candy.” He whispered in a deep husky tone that you had never heard before and was immediately eager to hear again. His hand trailed upward against your back to the top of your zipper and he pulled the zip down slowly, exposing your back. He watched your skin slowly become exposed in the reflection of the mirror and he hummed with satisfaction. You moaned softly when you felt his teeth lightly graze the skin in the crook of your neck. He helped you pull your arms out of the sleeves of your dress and then it fell, pooling around your feet, leaving you in just your underwears, Your skin prickled and became laden with goosebumps at the mixed feeling of hot and cold. You looked up at him, curious of his next move. He leaned back to marvel at your body which you found to be very comfortable to be exposed to him.

His raised and met with yours, and you could hear another growl rumbling in his chest. He was hungry. You whimpered at the sound, feeling something warm pool and stain your panties. You wanted him to touch you. Now.

It seemed as if he had read your mind and had lunged forward toward you. His lips colliding hungrily against yours. His hands trailed downward the the back of your thighs and all you wanted was him to move closer to your heat, but he didn’t. Instead he lifted you up in his strong arms and carried you out of the bathroom and down the hall. You wrapped your legs around his waist as tight as you could, desperate for any sort of friction against your core. You parted your lips into the kiss and his tongue eagerly slipped into your wet cavern. At first you were fighting for dominance but you failed almost instantly, falling easily into submission as his tongue invaded every inch of your mouth he could reach.

He brought you to your bedroom and he broke the kiss, a string of saliva the only thing connecting your mouths together before it broke away. You looked up at him with hooded eyes, your lips swollen and pink as he set you down on your bed. He held your gaze, not daring to break it as he quickly kicked off his shoes and pulled off his jacket before loosening his tie. He crawled onto the bed in between your legs and he pushed you down on to your back.

“Take this off..” You whispered and tugged at his shirt. You wanted to see his chest bare and exposed in front of you. You wanted to touch him, not the fabric that blocked not only your way but your view too.

He smirked down at you as he sat up on his knees, straddling over you as he pulled off his tie completely. He moved slowly, and you watched impatiently at his fingers which worked the buttons of his shirt painfully slow.

“Namjoooon!” You whined impatiently and shut your eyes in frustration. He chuckled, finding amusement in teasing you. He unbuttoned the last of the button and then pulled off the useless fabric all together. You looked up at him and your hands flew to his chest and then running down to feel his toned abdomen. Your back arched slightly before you relaxed into the bed again. You were anticipating so much and you learned something new about yourself. You were hella impatient.

He laughed softly, finding your impatience to be cute. “Babygirl, if you want me that bad, then just say so.” He whispered to you, bringing his lips to your ear so that you felt the heat from his breath. You whined softly and crossed your legs tight, wishing to relieve yourself.

“Joonie please…I want you..”

“Want me to what?” He questioned, verbally teasing you further.

“Touch me!” You cried out finally, becoming too worked up to hold on to your head or keep your composure.

He hummed, satisfied by your wishes. He lifted your legs up and he gripped on to the hem of your panties. He slowly pulled them down and then up off your legs and tossing them off somewhere. He parted your legs and leaned forward between them and he reached underneath you, unhooking your bra with one hand with skill as if he had particularly practiced that one motion for a long time.

He pulled your bra off and tossed that away also. He watched as your breasts bounced free and then he licked his lips hungrily. He leaned down and sucked a mound into his mouth while taking the other one in his grasp. He sucked and twirled his tongue around your nipple and tweaked and pinched the other with his fingers. You moaned out and pushed your chest up further into his hold. Your hand went to his hand and you tugged lightly at his soft locks. He remained in that position for only a little while before he switched and did the same to the other mound.

His lips then trailed downward, leaving a trail of butterfly kisses in his wake until he reached to your burning core. You expected him to touch you but he didn’t. You groaned irritably when he pulled away and you heard him chuckle. You opened your eyes and shot him an evil look, but he only sent back a mischievous grin.

“Look at how wet you are down here.” He mused and scooted down so that his face was level with your core. He gripped both of your thighs and he pushed them further apart. “Is it because of me? Are you this wet because of me?”

You expression softened and a light blushed appeared across your nose. You weren’t too sure how to answer but you did respond with a little nod of the head. He chuckled again and extended his index finger and ran it in between your folds. You whimpered at the feeling of him finally touching you where you needed him most, but then your eyes opened again the moment you didn’t feel his touch any longer.

“Namjoo-” You began but stopped when you saw him pulling his finger from his mouth.

“Mmm..” He hummed and smirked down at your shocked expression. You went completely red. He tasted you. No one had ever done such a thing before. You weren’t a virgin but never had someone made such brazen actions in your presence before.

“You taste so good.” He told you before dipping back down again, lining his face with your center again. “Mind if I taste you more?” He didn’t wait for a response before you felt him flatten his tongue against your heat. Your breath hitched and then you let out a low moan when you felt him lick striped in between your folds. The feeling was foreign but you would welcome it back any time. He licked over your slit before raising his head to your clit. He sucked the bundle of nerves into his mouth and suckled as if it was the best thing he had ever tasted. Your back arched and your hand flew down to his hair, again gripping and pulling at his locks. You cried out in pleasure and instinctively bucked your hips upward. You couldn’t help but grind and ride his face but he gripped your hips to still your actions. His tongue trailed back down and then suddenly he darted his tongue into your hole. You were a mewling mess as he continued the action, eating you out as if you really were some kind of desert. Never could you imagine some ones tongue making you feel so good. His muscle was skilled, strong, maybe from being so talented with his words and speedy rapping skills. You gasped when you felt him suck on your little button again, and this time his finger came to play. He rubbed your slit once more before he pushed the digit into you. He pumped it back and forth and smirked in amusement when he felt you clamping down around him. You moaned loudly, your back arching again as you felt a coil somewhere in your lower belly tighten and you knew you were close.

“N-Namjoon..” You moaned wanting more. It was like he read your mind again that night when he slipped a second finger into your needy hole. He pumped his finger quickly while he continued to suckle on your bundle of nerves. Your toes curled and your pulled a little harder at his hair. He was aware that you were close.

“Cum for me and I’ll reward you.” He whispered just loud enough for you to hear over your noisy mewling. He curled his fingers upwards to hit over your gspot and that when you were brought to the very tip of your high and pushed over. You gasped and moaned loudly as you released into his mouth, and then he proceeded to lap up your juices as if he had been dehydrated. You panted and watched as he sat up again, a smug look on his face, your liquids dripping messily from his chin. He licked his lips and all you could think about was kissing them and tasted what he had been tasting. You reached up and pulled him close to you and pressed your lips to his. It was sloppy open mouthed kiss, but you could careless. Once hand trailed down and tugged roughly at his belt.

“I want it.” You panted against his lips. “Please, don’t make me wait.” You lifted your hips to meet his and your grinded against him, wanting to feel his bulge, and you did. His pants looked tight and uncomfortable with his little friend being awake. You smirked in satisfaction and gave his belt another hard tug. “I’m sure even you can wait.” You said after breaking the kiss and looking up at him. All signs of that stupid smile or irritating smirk had left his expression as the attention was brought to him. Of course. He felt like he was going to burst right through his pants, but he wanted to put all of his attention on her. He supposed now that she was right. He really couldn’t wait anymore.

“Now, Namjoon!” You whined and was already unbuckling the piece of leather. He was brought back from his train of thought and he looked down at your hand. He helped you and brought his eyes back to your needy expression. He grit his teeth. All he wanted right now was to satisfy you. He managed to finally kick off his restricting pants and boxers somewhere onto the floor and he gripped your hips again. He pulled you up into his own hips and he grinded down into you. You whimpered and gazed into his dark eyes which seemed black now with how blown his pupils were. You didn’t break the eye contact until you felt the tip of his member pushing at your entrance. You looked down at his, seeing the angry red tip. He was as hard as a lead pipe if that was possible and the veins that wrapped around the muscle protruded and bulged out angrily. He was big, and for a moment, you weren’t sure if it all would fit. He pushed just the tip into you and you yelped. The feeling of him stretching you coursed through you like a tidal wave. He watched your expression closely as he began to push into you again. He paused every so often, letting you adjust to his size. It stung for only a moment when he was sheathed, and tears pricked your eyes.

“Are you okay.” He whispered, leaning down so that his lips grazed your ear again. He gripped one of your hands and held it tight, wanting you to focus on anything but the pain. You nodded your head in response and squeezed his hand.

“Move..” You whispered. He nodded and slowly pulled back. You chewed your lip and whimpered when he pushed back into you. He repeated the action slowly until the pain subsided and pleasure coursed through your veins. Your wrapped your free arm around his neck and you moaned softly.

“F-faster.” You told him, and he obliged. He grunted quietly from excretion as he thrusted faster into you, moving farther back to thrust harder as well. You moaned louder and brought your hips up to meet his every thrust. Your head tilted back and you were sent into a euphoric state.

“P-Please Joonie..” You stuttered out and wrapped your legs around his waist, wishing for him to go deeper. “M-More..”

He caught on fast that you weren’t looking for too much vanilla. You wanted to be fucked and that was the bottom line. He let your hand go and placed them at either side of your head for better leverage. He slowly pulled back almost all the way, only leaving the tip in before he thrust forward hard. He repeated the action and you cried out in ecstasy. Sinful wet sounds filled the room, slapping skin and the smell of sex and you wouldn’t have had it any other way. You gripped onto his shoulders, digging your fingers into his skin.

“Fuck don’t stop!” You cried out. He was slightly taken aback. He was sure it was the first time he had ever heard you curse and he wondered if you ever had in your life. A smug smirk slowly replaced his shocked expression as he was filled with a sense of pride for being the one to fuck you out of your mind. This encouraged him to keep going, not that he was planning on stopping in the first place. He groaned at the feel of your walls closing needily around him and pressed his face into the crook of your neck. “Shit, you’re so tight. How are you this fucking tight?” He hissed through clenched teeth. You wanted to reply with something witty, something that might make him at a loss for words, but when you opened your mouth, the only sound you made was a guttural moan. It wasn’t too long before you felt that same tight coil in the pit of your stomach in you were reaching your high. You whined and moaned strings of curses and a mangle of slurred words that sort of sounded like his name. Your eyes rolled back and you were in pure bliss, pure pleasure when you felt yourself spasaming around him. He moaned out loudly when he felt this and he readjusted, knowing you were close. He found your gspot again and he rammed into it as best he could.

“Cum on my cock, baby” He said in that same husky voice he used earlier. You moaned lightly at the sound and then the coil snapped. Your back arched up high as you released almost on cue around his dick. You saw stars, your vision going black while he milked out your orgasm. Then you went limp under him while he continued to thrust into you, searching for his release. It wasn’t too long before he followed suit and came inside of you, filling you with his hot white seed. He groaned loudly and his body went limp and landed on top of yours. You opened your eyes to look at him. His hair was no longer neatly combed back and instead covered his eyes, sticking to his forehead with sweat. You hummed softly and ran your fingers through his hair gently as you felt his chest rising and falling rapidly.

“I love you.” You whispered to him. You felt him smiled and he lifted his head to meet your eyes. “I love you too.” He replied sincerely. He planted a kiss on your shoulder then on your lips before rolling over to your side so he wasn’t crushing your body with his weight. You watched as his eyes fluttered closed and you sighed happily when you felt his arms wrap around you and bring you close.

One thing ran thing your mind this time.

Maybe you really should do this more often.

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