#or at least something i'm comfortable with identifying as for now

[ms-demeanor]

Hello,Do you have any tips for recovering from internet brain rot? It's like my patience has dried up and if there's a huge amount of text (even about topics I'm very interested in) that I have to read, I get annoyed and just don't interact with the material at all.

I have multiple tips!

TL;DR (Because of course I generated a wall of text): Take a break from the internet, create a schedule for getting yourself used to reading longer texts, take breaks while reading, and perhaps reconsider how you interact with The Internet and the world in general.

Here are the basic "to reduce the brain rot just don't interact" tips:

Take a break. Give yourself time off from The Internet (for these purposes The Internet is the social media industrial complex; clickbait news, recommended videos, social media sites, etc. You don't have to totally check out of email or your local news site, just get away from the huge time sucks). I'd say to take at least one day a week where you're online for less than an hour a day, and to maybe work up to doing a week-long break from whatever the main agents of rot are.

Once you've identified the main agents of rot, give yourself a time limit or set up rules for yourself. I don't let myself look at social media in bed, for instance; no staying up late on my phone, no scrolling before I get up and start my day. I don't give myself a strict time limit anymore, but for a while there I was very firm about "you only get to go online 4 hours a day" with myself.

Don't comment (or at least only share the things you really want to share). If you feel the need to argue, or if you feel pressured into sharing something, don't. Step back, maybe even open the post in a new tab or send it to yourself, and come back later. If you've been thinking about it and have decided it IS something you care enough to talk about, share it. If you look at the tab and feel stressed out or still feel reactive, close the tab and walk away.

Go out and interact with the real world in a non-work capacity for a few hours a week; take walks or go shopping or go out and take pictures of insects. Touch grass so that The Internet is not the only thing you're doing with your downtime.

Here are the "work on reading longer texts specifically" tips:

Set a reading goal for yourself. Maybe you want to read one New Yorker article a week, maybe you want to read all the way through news articles, maybe you want to read novels like you used to in high school. Figure out what your actual goal is and articulate that goal to yourself.

Set up a practice schedule and gradually increase the amount of time you're reading. Don't go from short tumblr posts to a novella, go from short tumblr posts to slightly longer news articles, then to slightly longer essays, then to a novella. You can do this in literal paragraphs if you want to - maybe your goal for your first day is to read five paragraphs in a row, and the second day is seven, and the third day is ten, etc, until you are comfortably reading for longer amounts of time without counting paragraphs. (Try this with books from gutenberg.org; read a classic you haven't read a few paragraphs at a time and if you find yourself going over your paragraph count, let yourself run with it. If you finish a book, good for you, find another one and start again.)

Set up a maintenance schedule. If your goal is to read longer news pieces, try to read a longer piece every week and try to read to the end of every news article you open. If your goal is to read novels or longer nonfiction, try to read a book a month (maybe setting aside dedicated time each week to read, maybe Thursday evenings are book time now). If you find yourself falling back into old habits, take a break from The Internet and do some more rigorous practice for a while.

If you find yourself getting frustrated while you are reading you can also take a break! Read until you get frustrated and then *instead of switching to a different page or closing the article* close your eyes or look out the window or away from the screen for thirty seconds (count 'em! count out the time in your head) and then continue reading. You can also take a longer pause and sit and think about why you're getting frustrated. Is it the subject matter? Is it just looking at this text for longer than a couple minutes (if you are experiencing FOMO because you're reading for another few minutes instead of scrolling, the harder tips at the bottom are going to be important to you)? Are you comfortable? Are you reading this text to procrastinate from something and the procrastination is making you nervous? Are you trying to read to the bottom of your dash and reading a long post is taking up more time than you want while scrolling? Are you bored? Genuinely and very seriously: are your eyes straining and does your head hurt (if this is the case when is the last time you had your eyes checked or your glasses prescription updated)?

Here are the much harder "examine yourself and reassess your reactions to things" tips:

Work on re-training your attention span.

Identify something that you enjoy and find deeply engaging, and schedule some dedicated time for that thing. Set a literal timer (it can be a short amount of time at first) and sit down and do the thing without switching to a different website or opening up an app on your phone. This can be re-reading or watching a couple episodes of a show you like or listening to your favorite album while you sit down and draw. What's important is to spend a longer time focusing on doing something you DO like before attempting to spend a longer time focusing on something you DON'T like.

When you're starting on things you DON'T like, start with things you mildly don't like, or that feel tedious but aren't actually unpleasant. One way I do this is by transcribing poetry; I look up poems that I connect to and I transcribe them into a notebook that I have for that purpose. I enjoy having the finished product, but I don't enjoy the process, so it takes some effort to stick with it. Maybe there is a boring book you have been trying to get through, maybe you need to detail your car, maybe you've been trying to take up embroidery - these are good things to make yourself pay attention to (having music or a podcast on can help, but avoid watching videos or opening social apps)

When you're okay at that kind of thing (doing something not actively unpleasant) work on your attention span for things you ACTIVELY don't like. I don't think you should be a masochist about this, but you should work on being okay with doing unpleasant things for a sustained period of time. All of us have to do unpleasant stuff sometimes, and it's better to be able to pay attention to it for an hour at a time than it is to put it off forever.

This leads into the next Big Tip which is:

Work on being less reactive

Find something that you dislike; I'm going to use conservative talk radio as my example.

Expose yourself to the disliked thing for short periods of time (under ten minutes, maybe under five minutes).

Work on moderating your emotions during the time spent exposed to the disliked thing. If it makes you angry, work on intellectualizing the anger without becoming agitated by it. If it makes you sad, work on accepting that sadness without letting it drag down your mood. This isn't precisely about becoming numb to stimuli, but it is about being more in control of how your emotional reactions impact you.

Analyze the disliked thing. Why does it make you angry? Is that on purpose by the creator of the thing? Would it make someone else angry in the same way? How would you explain the anger to a neutral third party?

Consider responding instead of reacting. Let's say you're seeing a lot of very sad and upsetting things online and it's making you sad and upsetting you. You re-share these things because you don't feel like there's anything else you can do or you get angry when you see people sharing incorrect information, perhaps you argue with people about this. Now try looking at the upsetting things through the lens of point number four. This has upset you; how has it upset you? And once you've thought about how it upset you and have articulated that to yourself, find out what you can DO. I cannot make conservative talk radio go off the air, but I can support the groups harmed by conservative talk radio; thus there is no point in me getting upset and angry about conservative talk radio when I could be helping the people they target instead.

And that gets us to the last big tip which is:

Ask yourself if you are spending your time in a way that is enjoyable and edifying.

We all have limited time in our days and limited time in our lives. If you are finding yourself frequently frustrated online, it's a good time to consider whether you want to be spending so much time online.

If you feel like The Internet has become a rat race in which you can't read more than a few paragraphs without getting frustrated, there's a good chance that not only are you spending too much time on The Internet, but you're also spending it on doing things that you don't particularly like.

A realization like yours, Anon, that you are getting frustrated with any longer texts, can actually be really helpful because it provides a good opportunity to look at what you're engaging with and consider the questions:

Is this something I enjoy?

Do I feel good when I do this thing?

And that's a great way to figure out how to get rid of things that are leading to your background frustration. Maybe that looks like paring down the list of blogs you follow, maybe that looks like unsubscribing from some youtubers and podcasts, maybe that looks like uninstalling apps, maybe that looks like blocking a whole bunch of people and terms on your socials.

I don't think that everything we do has to help us grow as a person or expand our consciousness or anything like that, but I do think it's important to prioritize doing things that you like and doing things that you feel good about.

Like, I'm not doing something *wrong* if I spend an afternoon on Youtube watching drama channels every once in a while, but if I come out of a few afternoons of watching youtube drama channels feeling restless and anxious and like I wasted my time - even if I enjoyed myself while I was watching - it's probably a good idea for me to take a break from drama channels and see if there's something I can do instead that will make me feel better.

ALSO, A NOTE:

You are an animal that requires significant enrichment in your enclosure.

Think about tigers. Tigers in captivity are going to be excited to get high-value treats for any reason. They will eat and enjoy the treats. But if a tiger in captivity is only given the treats and never given any other form of activity to engage with, it is not going to be a happy tiger. If you start putting their treats in a pumpkin or a puzzle feeder or giving them toys to play with, that is going to be a much happier tiger.

Please give your brain things to play with that are more than just treats (though it does need some treats!). Make yourself a happy tiger. Your brain need a puzzle feeder, not a treat button.

[chronicbeans]

Queerplatonic Alastor x Reader Headcanons

Hehe my plan of writing headcanons for various Aroace-spec identity Alastor headcanons has begun. This one is with a cupioromantic and asexual Alastor in mind. I haven't seen enough of them, and as they say! "If you want it done right, you gotta do it yourself."

TW: Frustrations regarding romantic identity, complete unawareness of certain LGBTQ+ topics (my man's from the 1920's, he's almost completely in the dark), slight yandere behavior? (I feel he's just obsessive by default, regardless of the relationship type)

• So, this man has never necessarily identified himself with any sort of LGBTQ+ labels. Back in his day, there weren't any terms to use for being asexual or aromantic. At least, not any that he knew of. He's always been comfortable with his sexuality, though! His main thought process was always "I'll probably find someone that I'm attracted to at some point, and if I don't, that's alright." That thought process has also followed him down to Hell, and stayed the same for all these years.

• However... Whilst he's very comfortable with his sexuality... His romantic feelings are very complicated, now. He's always desired to have one, and he's very confused as to why he hasn't felt any romantic attraction, yet. It makes sense that someone who wants a romantic relationship to be able to feel romantic attraction, yes? He's very much in the dark to the complexities of how these things really work, mostly due to him being from the 1920s-30s. He's caught up on slang and technology, but he hasn't bothered to keep up with sexualities and romantic identities, as he doesn't think about them much.

• So, does he ask any more modern demons and sinners for help? Ha! No. He's too prideful, and simply assumes that there probably isn't much of a difference in knowledge on romantic attraction as compared to his day. Yes, he's aware that there's way more identities for sexualities. People talk about them often, and he hears terms thrown around here and there as he walks through Hell. He never hears anything in regards to romance, though. It's simply not talked about as often, from his experience. So, he's completely in the dark. If anything, he's probably completely unaware that there are identities for romantic attraction.

• He does what he can to cope. This whole situation is very frustrating for him. However, at the same time, he thinks that it shouldn't be so frustrating. So, it's embarrassing to him, and he doesn't tell anyone about it. Instead, he does what he believes everyone who is single and ready to mingle does: reading romance novels. More specifically, he flips to parts where said attraction is described, or little scenarios that he wants is going on. Restaurant dates, walking through the park, dancing, holding hands and cuddling. Those sorts of things! Things nobody would ever expect someone as unhinged as him would want...

• The most frustrating part, however, is that he feels he should already be feeling such an attraction to you. You, being his most close friend. You're the one he trusts with certain secrets, one of the few people he doesn't mind touching him unprompted (besides, say, Niffty), and probably the only person he lets his smile down around. Though, he rarely does so, as he doesn't want to worry you. Unlike Niffty, who he sees as having a more familial feeling towards, he sees you as a close friend. His closest friend, but just a close friend, which frustrates him to no end.

• It takes him a long time to even think of mentioning it to someone. However, when he does, he'd feel too awkward to bring it up to you. So, he decides to speak to Charlie about it! After all, she has one of the more "modern" relationships. So, she probably also knows something about whatever is going on with him! And after the long and grueling process of talking to her? He comes out even more frustrated than before. Being unable to feel romantic attraction, but still want romance? Cupioromantic? It is all so confusing. However, he won't question it. He's clearly out of his zone, and he was horribly wrong when assuming the world of romance hadn't progressed...

• You, however, are his most trusted friend. His closest friend. So, he decides to waste no time in deciding to propose an idea to you. He's heard of these things called "queerplatonic relationships", and his understanding is that they are like friendships, but with some more traditionally romantic interactions involved. Which, whilst his understanding of the nature of queerplatonic relationships may be a bit off, he's trying his best. Once you explain it a bit further, emphasizing that they're closer relationships than friendships, but not romantic and can vary widely in affectionate interactions, he is immediately is set on trying to start one with you. Luckily, though, you agree rather quickly.

• Despite him wanting many of your interactions and ways of showing affection to be more traditionally romantic, such as cuddling or going out on friendly dates, he won't cross any boundaries. Both because you're his closest, most prized relationship with another person, and because he can't think of many other people who would even be willing to enter such a relationship with him if he ever asked. Not that he'd want to ask anyone else. There's a reason why he immediately went to you. It's hard for him to describe it, though. Despite being a man of words, whenever he tries to explain why he feels like you are the perfect person for him to enter this queerplatonic relationship with, he stumbles heavily.

• His little ideal for this relationship is, essentially, the types of things he's read in the romance novels he has. Sure, a little bit of a twisted version of it, but at it's core it's the same. He wants to cuddle in a nice, safe, and warm room (while there's probably the screams of an extermination going on the background). He wants to go to restaurants (this man's a cannibal so check your food). He wants to do the cheesy move of handing you red roses and candy as a gift (do not ask how he was able to buy such an expensive brand, or where the two large, heavy trash bags came from or what they are filled with).

• He's going to be very, VERY protective of you. Almost, if not completely to an obsessive degree. He knows how Hell is. People want power, and he's powerful, and you are close to him. He's sure many people are going to go after you, in order to get to him. So, your little relationship is going to be as well protected of a secret as it can be, at first, until he believes he can properly protect you from any danger. And after the secret is out, he's going to be right by your side the entire time. Literally. Whenever he can be, he's next to you. Nobody, except maybe Vox or another pesky overlord, is going to try to hurt you as long as he is there. Even then, he could completely destroy them, anyways!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #alastor #hazbin hotel headcanon #alastor headcanons #lgbtq headcanons #lgbtq+ headcanons #queerplatonic #cupioromantic #aroace spectrum #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader

[phoenixblaze1412]

Heyyy can i request dottore with a female reader who loves dottores scent? like she sniffs him whenever they hug and loves stealing his sweaty clothes. Btw how do you think dottores body odour smell like?

(tbh i feel like im some crazy freak for thinking abt dottores smell all the time :0)

You're not a crazy freak love, i like the ideas so keep them coming^^

If we're talking about body odor, Dottore would have this very entrancing scent. Like, musky and minty at the same time. Let's say it's like an invictus perfume kind of scent, that would gain the attention of anyone who either isn't afraid of him or doesn't know who he is.

He would always make sure he would at least smell decent whenever he's inside or outside of work. He didn't know it would attract attention from others, in a good way.

But it's hard to be able to smell his scent when he's always in his work clothes.

Whenever Dottore's in the lab, he would have a different scent. A mix of coffee, chemicals and antiseptic.

If you're not used to Dottore in his line of work, this could be a very frightening thing to inhale. It's like walking inside an eerie hospital and you're just about to face your death, the doctor himself.

But, being Dottore's lover, this scent brings you comfort.

Here's a little fun fact that only you know and Dottore doesn't. The only way you can differentiate your Dottore from his older segments is just based on his body odor. Just hug them, sneakily inhale their scent and boom, segment or Dottore.

Now, Dottore and his segments would always wonder why you would greet them by hugging them. They just don't know that you're identifying who is who by inhaling their body scent.

Now, clothes.

Dottore would always catch you sneaking into the laundry basket and sniffing his clothes. He has tried many times to stop you from doing so. Who knows what chemical spills or filthy blood could go right up your olfactory nerves. And no matter how many times he tries to stop you, you always manage to do the opposite and keep doing it.

That's why he decided to have a spare laundry basket in his laboratory, only for his stained clothes and lab gowns. He doesn't want you to inhale more chemicals that got stuck to his clothes.

He'll still put his used and sweaty clothes in the laundry basket in your shared quarters so you have something to entertain yourself with. He just doesn't want to see you suffocate and nauseate again from inhaling formaldehyde from one of his lab gowns from back then.

You were simply sitting against the couch in Dottore's office, reading one of the latest novel that Childe got you from Inazuma while you wait for your lovely scientist of a boyfriend to finish with his work in the lab connected to the office. Too invested in the book, you didn't notice the new presence standing behind you. You hummed in response as you watched a pair of arms wrap around your shoulders and pulling you close to a firm chest.

"Hello, darling."

You smiled, knowing it's Dottore. But is it him or his segment?

You rubbed your cheek against the arm, using that action as a diversion to inhale the scent from his clothes. Antiseptic. Not a trace of his own body odor or sweat. This is definitely a segment.

Meanwhile, the 'Dottore' behind you was simply grinning at your actions, finding it adorable yet oblivious to what you're really doing.

You know there's only one segment that would confidently be affectionate towards you whenever his creator isn't around.

"Hello to you too, Omega. Are you done with your work?"

Omega, slightly surprised at how you easily guessed it was him, affectionately rubbed his cheek against the top of your head and let out a small hum.

"Not at all. I still have to wait for a few minutes until the concoction I'm currently working on is complete. In the meantime, I simply wanted to check up on you and be blessed with your attention."

You shifted in your position so that you were able to lean your head back to look at the masked segment before placing a kiss upon his cheek. This caused Omega to sigh in content as he basked in your affections.

Minutes turned into an hour as you and Omega chatted about the projects he and the others are working on. He was about to tell you about the newest project about creating a god but was immediately stopped by someone clearing their throat. You turned your head to the sound to come eye to eye with Dottore himself, his red irises staring back against your own.

"Omega, I suggest you get back to work instead of lazing around and chatting with my partner. The concoction you left behind has already finished thirty minutes ago."

"Ah, well then, I'll take that as my cue to leave. She's all yours now, Lord Harbinger. I'll see you later, darling."

Just as Omega stated, he quickly got up and went to head back in the laboratory, leaving you and Dottore alone. Leaving the book by the coffee table, you immediately ran over to your partner and hugged him, burying your face into his chest and inhaling his comforting scent. Dottore sighed when you hugged him, trying to push you away from him but failed.

"Dearest, I'd be glad to hug you back but I'm sweaty and I do not wish to contaminate you with my own sweat. Let me take a bath first then I'll cuddle you."

"No need. I like how you smell, doesn't matter if you're all sweaty or bleeding."

"You're odd, you know that. But that's what made me attracted to you, I suppose. Your oddities are very endearing."

Dottore, finally giving in, wrapped his arms around your waist and held you close, placing a kiss to your forehead as well.

"Also, don't think I didn't catch you sniffing me everytime you're in my arms. Even if you're being sneaky about it and making excuses, it wouldn't get past my field of vision, darling."

Ah.

Seems like you've been caught in the act.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #dottore #dottore x reader #zandik x reader #il dottore #female reader #il dottore x reader

[takeme-totheworld]

You Can't Go Home Again

I'm someone who walked away from my childhood religion almost twenty years ago, and I'm very firmly at a place in my life now where I am very happy to be through with it and have zero lingering desire to go back. I've also been out as some kind of queer person for the same almost-twenty years, and I've been out as trans for almost fifteen of those years.

If you knew absolutely nothing else about me or my life except for those major plot points, and the fact that I'm a Good Omens fan, it would be reasonable to assume that I would identify with Crowley far more than Aziraphale. At least at this point in my life. And in fact, I've seen many fans with backgrounds similar to mine say that they used to be much more like Aziraphale when they were younger, but nowadays they see far more of themself in Crowley. Which makes sense, as a trajectory for people who grew up in controlling religions and then left!

I've been trying to figure out what it is about me that makes me so automatically take Aziraphale's perspective when watching this show, even though the most aggressively Aziraphale time of my life was literal decades ago now. And I think that's probably a very complicated answer, but I realized today that I see an emotional struggle happening in him that I still wrestled with for years and years after leaving the church before I was finally able to completely put it to rest—the struggle to accept that some things can never go back to the way they were.

I seriously suffered so much over this for so long after I left the church. Despite all the damage it had done to me, my entire life had been intertwined with the church and a lot of things that were good—or at least deeply comforting in their familiarity—had also been a part of that. I had plenty of genuinely happy memories all mixed together with the harmful ones (which, in case you were wondering, is confusing as hell). There were fundamental human needs that I had only ever gotten met through the church, and as double-edged as what the church provided was, it was all I knew. Learning to get those needs met in new ways was much healthier, but it wasn't what I had always known growing up and it was a loss.

And I spent a long time refusing to fully accept that going back to any version of Christianity or the church just...wasn't ever going to be in the cards for me.

That is in the cards for some people, I know. Some folks who leave or get kicked out of ultra-dogmatic and controlling churches eventually find new homes in much more progressive and nurturing ones. And that's great! But that was never going to be my path. The process of seeing my childhood religion for what it truly was, losing my beliefs, leaving everything the church was to me further and further behind, and gradually learning who I was without it, changed me too much for me to ever be able to go back again.

I am fine with that now. More than fine. I'm healthier and happier now than I've ever been. Over time I grew into a version of myself that no longer has a church/religion/faith-shaped gaping wound in my life I'm trying to fill. But it was hard and painful and it took a really long time for me to get there. I spent a lot of my twenties and even a bit of my early thirties trying to find something...some new church community that I could be connected to in some way, that would give me back some of what I'd lost when I left my childhood church. But none of them ever did. I was never going to get the same things out of belonging to a church again, because I wasn't the same.

You can't go home again.

I see Aziraphale on that same journey and that's part of what makes my heart automatically go out to him and hurt for him, over and over again. He's still desperately holding onto the idea of a hypothetical version of Heaven and being an angel that can be home again one day. One where all the good things he remembers are still there, and still every bit as good, and all the bad parts have been fixed or gotten rid of, so that being there will be like the old times, only even nicer.

Except that even if he actually succeeded at somehow making Heaven the exact flavor of like-the-old-times-only-even-nicer that he is imagining, it wouldn't matter. Heaven is not his home anymore. He's already changed too much to be able to go back. He just hasn't accepted that yet.

#good omens #good omens meta #good omens 2 spoilers #aziraphale #the final fifteen #religious deconstruction #personal

[stitched-mouth-vs-the-world]

In The Dark Of The Night

Pairing: Valak  / The Nun x Fem! Nun! Reader.

Summary: After arriving and joining the Covent you so didn't wish to join, Valak takes a liking to you.

Warnings: Smut, Oral sex (fem receiving), Tongue fucking, Fingering, Intercourse (P in V), Masturbation, Voyeurism, Unprotected sex, Overstimulation. Mention of reader possibly catching an STI from Valak and his ashy lips. Reader smokes weed.

Writing Time: 3 hours.

Word Count: 2251.

Format: Kinktober Fic, Day 6.

A/N:

Had a ball figuring this shit out. Started writing this at 1am, it's now nearly 4am and I have to be up in 2 hours 😁🔫 Think about that when the reader is crying about not getting enough sleep. I love this fic but I think Valak is very OOC, this is my first time writing him so hopefully I'll get better at it. Valak is referred to as 'The Nun' and with they/them pronouns (until they whip out their dick 😁) since I was semi writing fron the reader's perspective and they have no idea what Valak's name is or what they identify as. But I do write Valak as male, so they are male here it's just doesn't know until near the end.I'm tired so I didn't research Nuns and Covents before writing this, which I probably should of done but who cares since the movies do a poor job of explaining them? I'm sure y'all only came for the smut. I'll fix it when if I feel like it. Valak has ashy lips cause I said so.

Here is the masterlist for all my Kinktober 2023 works.

---///---

Something felt off, to say the least. You felt more uneasy in this new unfamiliar place than any other place.

When your father announced you'd be attending this new place, you were furious. Well, furious and heartbroken. He had written you off to become a nun because it was the easiest way to send you away. And all for wait? Because you had recently been having issues with your mental health and he couldn't deal with it? Or did he need you needed Jesus?

Either way, you started hating him on the drive here. And once you stepped foot in this place and felt the almost sicken bad vibes.

The teachers had been just as you expected. Strict, never smiling and so obviously loved having power over others. Others being the new not yet devoted Nuns or freshly devoted Nuns.

You was gonna hate it here.

You had met your new sisters and to be honest, none of them mattered to you. You weren't in any kind of mood to make friends, but you hoped that would change. You didn't want to be alone here.

The only Sister that seemed like friend material was Sister Irene. She had that kind and friendly spirit that you thought all Nuns should have.

But seriously, something wasn't right around here. You couldn't place your finger on it and honestly, you hoped you never could.

—-///—-

You tried to get comfortable in your new bed, but it seemed impossible. Like the Devil was purposely making the springs press into your back and then laughing at your discomfort.

You huffed as you gave up and got out of bed. You grabbed your carefully stashed away blunts and lighter and headed for your window. Unlocking the old window proved to be a little bit of a challenge but you managed.

You started at the sky as you smoked, the affect of the weed slowly crawled into you and eased you. You leaned against the wall of the window and slowly looked around your room. The atmosphere suddenly changed back to uneasy and even more so.

Something...or maybe someone caught your eye. You had spotted a figure in your room, in front of your bedroom door. It was so dark, you couldn't make out any features. Just the outline of a body.

It freaked you out to say the least and you knew you wasn't that high so this was real. It had to one of your Sisters right? Here to snitch on you for smoking a joint...right?

"If you're here to catch me up to something, well, you caught me. So what are you waiting for now? Go ahead and snitch." You called out.

No response. You were quiet for a few seconds, just staring at the figure. You then sighed a bit before drawing another drag and offering it up to the mysterious figure.

"Or do you want some?"

The figure suddenly disappeared and you couldn't see where it went. You stood up properly in fear and looked around again, you saw nothing. The room looked completely normal even in the dark but certainly didn't feel normal.

You nervously put out the blunt and crawling back into bed. You told yourself it had to have been the pot, even if you didn't feel that high it must of been that. Maybe your dealer gave you something different this time, some pot laced with something. God you hope it was just that. It has to be just a bad trip.

Fortunately, you managed to fall asleep fairly quickly after that. Bud seemed to be just what you needed to fall asleep. You would get you was asleep for maybe a little over an hour before you stirred awake.

Wonderful, awake again, and it only just turned 1am and you were gonna be woken up at 6am. Delicious, this is gonna be a night full of broken up sleep. You looked up to face the ceiling and hopefully fall asleep again, just get those much needed extra hours.

But you couldn't. And you didn't feel like smoking again, so you did the next best thing. Placed both feet against the bed with your knees bent and pushed a hand past your underwear. You carefully fingered yourselves with two fingers. As your pleasure built up, you closed your eyes and focused simply on your own pleasure. A few moaned slipped out of your mouth and when you felt although you was ready, you added another finger.

You lost yourself in your pleasure and smiled as you neared yourself closer to the edge. It didn't take too long, considering how sleepy you already was. But right as you felt your orgasm building, you opened you eyes. And boy did you regret it.

When you opened your eyes, your attention quickly went to the foot of your bed where another figure appeared. And this time, you could see their features. It was Nun, with a terrifying face say the least. You knew it wasn't another Sister because of their lovely face which was smirking down at you, giving you a lovely view of their sharp fangs. Their eyes glowing a piercing yellow.

'Hell no, not today Satan. Please no.' Is what you thought as you, now fully wide awake, threw your covers off, ripped all fingers out of your pussy and made a beeline for the door. You were stopped by a force that only could of been supernatural and air yeeted back onto your bed. You screamed as loud as you could and the creepy looking Nun inched closer and closer to you.

"Oh Baby, don't scream. Don't cry." The Nun pouted down at you and touched your right cheek.

Obviously, you screamed even louder. The Nun's soft expression disappeared almost as soon as it came and they clamped a hand down across your mouth and squeezed.

"Shut up, now." It's tone now gruff and aggressive.

You looked up at them in fear whilst noticing some strange beauty in their face and soon started crying, "Please don't hurt me."

"Oh Dear," Their soft tone suddenly back, "I'm not here to hurt you... I just wanted to help."

"H-Help?" You whispered.

The Nun gave you a smile and headed down south. You thought the smile was supposed to be comforting but it felt so evil and unsettling, it had the opposite the affect. You felt your heart beat faster in fear, the way your heart starts beating when your about to have a panic attack. It definitely didn't help that you still couldn't move and was completely immobilised by this supernatural force.

The Nun pulled your panties down to your knees, not bothering pulling them down all the way and quickly got to work. Their tongue was... something you had experienced before.

It was wet, messy and far too big to be normal. It was driving you insane. If you had to guess from just the feeling, this monster's tongue was almost the same size as the average dick. It quickly turned you into a moaning mess. Your cries became cries of pleasure and you orgasmed almost immediately. Either you was still worked up from fingering yourself, which was unlikely considering the brief heart attack you just had, or this Nun was unstoppable with their tongue.

The Nun gave you two more orgasms with their tongue before coming up. They looked down at you and smirked again. You could see now, their black lips and tongue were black from ash. It was all over their mouth and chin and you was now consumed with worry, hopefully now of that ash got caught in your pussy. Which STI would you get from that?

You hadn't noticed but the Nun had started pulling up their skirt and pulling at something underneath it. Out sprang the biggest dick you had ever seen.

Nope, that wasn't normal, if you saw that monster on any human man you'd tell them to see a Doctor. Cause 12.5 inches (you're estimating based on looks) is not normal. The Nun grinned and stared down at your terrified face as he pumped himself.

You looked up at him, "That's not going inside me."

"Yes it is." He stated matter of factly still smiling at you.

"It will kill me." You responded with a glare.

Whilst you was still a little iffy about the penis size, your fear was starting to melt away and you was no longer afraid to talk to this creature. It could be the dizziness from the multiple orgasms you just had but this was starting to feel like a normal not scary sexual encounter.

"I'll make it work." The Nun shrugged.

"Ok, but I need to know your name first." You told him.

The demon was silent for a few seconds, "I don't usually give my name... but I suppose you will need something to scream so. It's Valak."

Valak thrusted into you immediately after that, not giving you much time to adjust. You screamed in pain but Valak placed a hand over your mouth again and tsked at your vocals, as if you was the problem. He then pulled off your panties completely and shoved them in your mouth without warning, you choked a little and Valak moaned at the sound.

Fortunately Valak hadn't pushed all of himself inside of you, only the first few inches (which is still a whole dick, Valak, but ok) and didn't go any further than that. He moved in and out at normal pace, not seeming to care at all about your cervix which he was currently beating up with his monster cock.

But despite all the complaints, you was starting to love it. Once you had adjusted, you was moaning and crying again. Tears ruining your vision and making Valak more aroused therefore making him move faster.

He groaned as he fucked up and glared down at you, completely focused on your face. Deciding this wasn't enough, he bent your legs back as far as they could go, up to your head and leaving you in a mating press. This gave him more opportunity to add a couple more inches without hurting you as much.

You cried, screamed and whined as the creature defiled you. You felt filthy, absolutely disgusting. But also alive. Something you hadn't felt before. You were squirming and whimpered from a dick too big for your little pussy to comprehend and you loved it. It was now you realised there was no chance you could married to God, you was enjoying such a lewd act, letting a demon fuck you dumb, way too much.

"Please! More!" You whined against your panties.

Valak heard you loud and clear and pressed a thumb on your clit. He would of preferred to sink his whole dick into you but knew it would be too much.

He then leaned down and spat on your mouth. Most of it was immediately soaked up by your panties, which irritated the shapeshifter. So he pulled your panties out of your mouth and spat again.

"Swallow whore." He hissed at you.

You eagerly did as you was told, hoping there would be a reward. And there was, the demon grinned down at you again when he saw you followed orders well, and then shoved his whole tongue in your mouth.

He tasted just as you expected, like ash and death.

As you noticed before when he was eating you out, his tongue was not normal either. It was way too big and long, just like his dick. It filled up your mouth and made you choke slightly. But soon like before, once you adjusted to the size, you was moaning like a slut again.

You came again, you didn't know which number this one but it was definitely better than the last. But you were feeling drained now, overstimulated. You had no idea when Valak would cum though and it made you nervous, surely he would stop once he came you thought. But then, when would he cum? A demon's limit must be far greater than a human's.

And you was right, Valak could fuck for hours without cumming. And that's what he planned to do. He wanted to know what you looked like, excessively overstimulated.

You really wished you hadn't found out what made this place so off.

#stitched #stitched mouth #stitched talks #stitched’s kinktober #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #stitched writes #the nun #the nun ii #the nun x reader #the nun smut #valak x reader #valak #valak the nun #valak smut

[nothorses]

#idk i have thoughts about the 'binar v. nonbinary' distinction. i think there is a reason#that trans people get degendered when they use binary pronouns#AND wrongly gendered when they use use gender neutral pronouns#for example

i'm intrigued by these thoughts would you like to share more about these thoughts

I think I'd boil it down to like... specifically the idea of "binary trans" people as a class.

I very firmly believe that the oppression of nonbinary people ("exorsexism") exists and is a real form of oppression, and I believe that experiences with it- and the ideological foundation it rests on- are unique and worth discussing. I think nonbinary people have unique experiences with oppression that are necessary to listen to and understand, and that it is to everyone's benefit to include in those perspectives in larger conversations around trans justice.

I specifically take issue with the idea that there is a group of people that can easily & universally be differentiated as "binary trans" in anything but how those people personally identify.

I think that, socio-politically speaking, the only people that are truly classed as "binary" are 100% gender-conforming dyadic cis people. When we're talking about transphobia as a concept, we're talking about a system of oppression meant to punish people who stray from the gender binary. Historically, anyone punished under this system was included under the "trans" umbrella: gender-non conforming cis people, drag kings and queens, nonbinary people, intersex people, you name it. We are all gender outlaws; we all exist outside traditional understandings of gender, and we are all punished for doing so.

Now, we can narrow the scope quite a bit; I do still have the ability to "pass" as my gender, which is not an option to a lot of nonbinary folks. I can get a gender marker that accurately reflects my gender, and I can go "stealth" in a way that doesn't cause me a lot of dysphoria. I absolutely acknowledge that there are experiences I do not have, and oppression I do not face, and I should take care to listen to the people who do face them.

The problem for me here is that like, none of those things are exclusively "binary trans" experiences either. Plenty of nonbinary people are not strictly outside of every binary gender, or outside of comfort with a binary gender presentation. Such is the enormous multitude of nonbinary identities, and the unknowable vastness of human experience.

The other, perhaps larger problem for me is that I also do not strictly have a "binary trans male" experience. I mean, least of all because I have still at this point spent more of my life identifying as nonbinary than I have as a trans man- but also because I'm still trans. In a lot of ways, I'm not actually viewed as "binary"; I am clock-able enough that I'm pretty regularly degendered by even incredibly well-intentioned cis people, for example. My grandma is confused about my gay relationship; she very much does not think it is gay or straight. Anyone who knows I'm a trans man does not think of me as a woman or a man; they think of me as something entirely outside of the binary, and they treat me accordingly.

To go back to the tag you're quoting: I think binary trans people using binary pronouns are degendered for the exact same reason that nonbinary using gender-neutral pronouns are misgendered. People don't want to recognize us as the genders we are. They don't want to validate an experience of gender that lies outside their tidy little gender binary.

Again: this doesn't mean that exorsexism isn't real, or even that "there is no such thing as a binary trans woman/man". That's not what I'm saying. I want to keep having discussions about the unique experiences nonbinary people have, and the unique ways in which transphobic society treats and targets them, and the unique oppression they suffer, and why, and how we can fight that.

I also don't think I'm the first person by far to point out that maybe the idea of The Binary Trans Experience should be problematized a little bit, and I think there's something to be said for the funky space that "binary trans people" occupy on the good-little-gender-conforming-cis-person to nonbinary continuum.

#if anyone uses this to justify erasure of nonbinary people or oppression #i just want you to know that i am shooting you with a gun.

[anystalker707]

I'm fine

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x [gender-neutral] Reader Summary: Sanji knows there's something wrong, but he doesn't know how to approach you. Tags: comfort / soft / he's doing his best

Requested by anon ["Hello !! <3 I saw that your requests are open, may I request anything with Sanji ? You can decide the prompt or format, I was just thinking about (mostly Opla, a little bit of his pauses and deep thinking from the anime moments)..."] A/N: thanks so much for the request! I hope you have a good day and that you enjoy this

MASTERLIST

          Sanji was way more attentive than he seemed to be, mind working on a thousand tasks at once whenever he was quiet and not drooling over anyone or dwelling in thoughts. He was aware of everything that went on in the crew, ignoring or managing things however he could, whether by forcing himself to remember he wasn’t responsible for everyone else’s problems or just making someone a special dish to brighten their day a little.

It wasn’t obvious, and you weren’t in the right place to notice it either, unaware of Sanji’s attentive gaze following each of your actions through the days. He could see the nap breaks were getting longer, and the way you seemed to slip into a daze sometimes, which only made the hollow in your gaze more evident. Despite watching you for a while now, he still couldn’t identify what was bothering you so much, but it didn’t feel like it was the right time to approach the subject yet, at least not directly.

The idea had been in Sanji’s mind for quite a while now, so he decided to ease his thoughts today, a little bit. He prepared a small portion of one of your favorite snacks with a suitable drink to follow, making sure to use one of the special plates and your favorite glass—you probably thought no one knew, but he noticed it when you always chose that one or stole it from someone else.

“My dear,” Sanji’s soft voice brought you back to reality, and he looked at you for a moment, as if he could figure out what’d been going on through your mind as you sat at that small table on the deck and stared into the horizon. He couldn’t, but he felt good for being able to ground you for at least a little while. “You barely touched your lunch today, so I thought you’d like to have something now.” He paused. “More like you should have something now.” Despite the light scolding tone, there was also tenderness that he hoped to reach you and give some comfort.

You furrowed your eyebrows and pressed your lips together as if you were going to say something, but only silence followed as you suppressed a sigh and brought the plate closer to inspect it. It felt like forever—Sanji’s eyes followed every little movement as you looked at the food and the drink. He could imagine the way you felt, throat clenching just at the thought of food, but he also knew you needed to eat to make up for the past days and remain healthy.

Sanji was startled when your eyes met yours, and for a moment, he wondered if you could perhaps hear his thoughts, but the feeling dissipated when he caught the confusion on your features.

“What’s up, Sanji?” You asked before finally taking a bite of the food—his shoulders dropped a little as he felt relieved just at the simple gesture.

Ironic. He should’ve been the one to ask that.

Sanji pressed his lips together for a moment and shrugged. “Nothing, really, I’m just… bored.” It was the first thing that came to his mind. He wasn’t really, not with all the stuff he had in his head, but it sounded fitting. “Are you… bored? You’ve been… just sitting there,” Sanji said, stumbling over words. He didn’t want you to know he was aware of your current state because something in his gut told him you’d immediately dodge it.

You were silent for a long moment. You took another bite of the food, swallowed, sipped on the drink, placed the glass down… “Something like that.”

The situation was delicate. Sanji had to think very well of what he was going to do, and he imagined it all as a hunter trying to approach a hare without making his presence known among the bushes. He followed your gaze to the sea for a moment before he grabbed the chair and placed it next to yours with a sigh, sitting with his hands over his lap.

“Oh, uh, I hope I can sit with you,” he said quickly, about to stand up again when you waved a hand in dismissal.

It was awkward. The silence that sat between the two of you was unsettling, but Sanji suspected he was the only one to feel that way. His hands were sweating a little. He wiped them away on his pants. He was just worried about you. Nothing else.

“You know,” you suddenly said, making Sanji immediately turn his head to you, “I… I really like your rings. They really suit you.” Your eyes met his a couple of times before your gaze averted to the sea again, and you sipped on your drink, almost finishing it.

It took Sanji a moment to process your comment—when he finally did so, he raised his eyebrows lightly and looked down at his own hands, fidgeting with his rings now that he was reminded of their existence. “Oh, thanks,” he breathed as he brought them closer to inspect but shook his head lightly and offered his hand to you instead. “I’ve gotten some of them as gifts, others were—” His voice faltered when your fingers touched his, and you held his hand close to your face to observe the beautiful carvings into silver metal. “—Were just bought around,” he continued in a quieter voice tone, eyeing you.

Your thumb traced one of the rings before you slid it off Sanji’s finger; he was startled at first, but he let it be, since he trusted you anyway. He was happy to see you doing something that wasn’t obligatory nor motivated by whatever bothered you, heart fluttering a little bit. Your fingers traced the rim of the ring, but you never put it on, just observing it before returning it to Sanji.

“They’re very nice,” you added with a hum, observing him put the ring on again.

“Thanks,” Sanji whispered with a small smile. His tongue peeked out to wet his lips as he shook his head lightly to get some of the strands off his face, and he exhaled softly. Despite the pleasant moment, the anxiety still bubbled under his skin; the unsaid words formed a lump in his throat that threatened to jump out at any second. He tried—he really tried—, but it was stronger than he was.

“You know that you can talk to anyone anytime, right?” Sanji blurted out. It was classic, cliché, but he hadn’t had time to think about anything else. “I mean, I must not be the right person in your eyes, but I reassure you that I try my best.”

There was more he wanted to say, but the look on your face made Sanji shut up. He’d stepped on a twig, and you were about to run away.

“Yeah, that’s what it is all about,” you whispered with a hint of… disappointment?

Sanji didn’t know what to say—or if he should say anything at all—, heart heavy in his chest as he held his breath as if the slightest movement would ruin all of it.

“You don’t need to be nice to me just because you’re worried,” you said, putting the glass and the plate back on the table without finishing the meal; it’s not that you didn’t want to eat, but the hunger just diminished with the way the situation evolved. “I—”

“No, it’s not—”

“Then why now?” You cut Sanji off with a sigh, but interrupted yourself, seeming to reconsider. “I mean, I see, but… Now is not the right time, Sanji. You’re nice and all, but right now isn’t the moment.”

Sanji couldn’t blame you for the annoyance that laced your voice and the sudden change in your demeanor, so he tried to rationalize the situation first to avoid stirring unnecessary problems. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the ground, trying to imagine what could be the problem, but the signs you gave were still too vague.

“I… appreciate what you did,” you practically forced the words out while standing up from the chair slowly. It looked like you were going to say something, but you just walked away, leaving that incomplete silence behind that made anxiety crawl under Sanji’s skin. He couldn’t shrug off the guilt that started growing in his chest while watching you leave.

          “Hey, no need for that! The glass didn’t do anything to you, man!” Usopp threw his hands in the air lightly when Sanji put a glass on the table with more force than necessary, sending the hollow sound cutting through the galley.

Sanji widened his eyes at Usopp when he saw him there, but soon sighed as he shook his head, grounding himself—he didn’t want anyone to worry about him, or to make a mistake in the recipe. “Maybe it did, you don’t know that,” Sanji breathed with a chuckle in an attempt to lighten up the mood.

Usopp raised his eyebrows and tilted his head. “Keep your secrets, then.” He walked past Sanji with a chuckle, grabbing a clean glass to have some water. “Good night, dude,” he said after he got everything he wanted. “Don’t forget to call God Usopp in case you’re afraid of anything during the night!” He grinned and winked before walking away, and Sanji was thankful he didn’t look back to see the way he rolled his eyes. Sanji liked Usopp, yeah, he just had too much in mind right now, and his plans didn’t include coming off as rude.

Being on the night watch didn’t seem like the best option at first, but Sanji thought better and decided that, if he hadn’t, his night would’ve been resumed to tossing around on the hammock. Cooking helped him clean his mind and get himself together, so that was something, really.

The guilt was still evident in his chest, bothering Sanji just like a misplaced object in a small space. He felt like he was the odd one out, actually, not knowing what to do with himself as he did everything automatically until he almost threw the eggshells inside the bowl instead of the whites and yolks.

“Holy fuck,” Sanji said as he tossed the eggshells inside the trash, cleaning his fingers before he pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a break to breathe in deeply. He was almost finished. He could make it.

Everything was in the fridge or covered, waiting to be finished tomorrow, so Sanji sat at the table out on the deck and pulled out his cooking book after lighting a cigarette. He could at least relax a little while he sipped on a cold drink and checked his notes, feeling the somewhat-comfortable burning in his lungs. It always helped him set his thoughts in order—or at least try to.

There wasn’t much that Sanji could get done. He spent most of his time staring at the pen and trying to get his mind off you because, after all, he didn’t have anything to do with what bothered you. It wasn’t his responsibility nor did it affect him directly, so he shouldn’t be so worried about it. Regarding the minor disagreement, it didn’t matter—you two would get along well again because arguments just happened.

Sanji didn’t know what time it was, but the sea higher and calmer than it was during the day, only illuminated by the already waxing full moon that hung high in the sky, since the ship’s lights weren’t turned on strongly enough to illuminate anything beyond the decks. He wrote a few lines on the yellowish pages, not even finishing the sentence before he caught himself lost in thoughts again. Damn it.

The sudden sound almost made Sanji jump on his chair, but he just used it as an excuse to procrastinate making his notes more, and observed the darkness until someone showed up, and your identity was revealed only when you turned the lights of the galley on, walking in. Sanji’s heart almost jumped out through his throat when he saw you there, and his thoughts raced in an internal debate. Should he approach you? He didn’t know if he could bear once again that face of disappointment that you’d made at him, but the current situation wasn’t very helpful either. He wanted peace of mind.

With a sigh, Sanji stood up. All he could do, initially, was stand in the doorway and watch it as you drank a glass of water, still feeling out of place. When you turned around and tried to leave the kitchen, he couldn’t move either, staring back at you with the words erased from his brain. All he could do was look into your sleepy eyes, trying to identify anything beyond the grumpiness of getting up in the middle of the night. He pressed his lips together, breathing in deeply as he looked at you and decided that this should finally be over.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. No one else was awake, but maybe things would be ruined if he spoke a pitch louder. “I wanted to help you. I didn’t want to see you upset and wanted to help. I know you didn’t ask for it, but please know that there was absolutely no pity in what I did. It was my way of expressing that I’m here for you. If it made you uncomfortable, I can—”

A soft groan came from you as you hugged Sanji and buried your face in his chest. He wasn’t sure what was happening, but he did nothing for a while, just in case, and only hesitantly wrapped his arms around you after he decided you wouldn’t move.

“Thanks.” Your words were muffled against his chest as you practically melted into him. Were you too sleepy? He really didn’t know how to handle this. “I am sorry about the reaction. I didn’t think it through, but thanks anyway.”

Sanji raised his eyebrows as he processed what you said and let out a faint hum, patting your back gently. “It’s okay,” he whispered as he pressed his cheek to your head for a moment, slowly relaxing as he found comfort in your arms. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you replied, a little too quickly. “Nothing is wrong.”

“But—”

“I’m fine.”

.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.

#one piece #one piece live action #opla #sanji vinsmoke #x reader #x male reader #x female reader #gender neutral #sanji x reader #sanji x male reader #one piece x reader #oneshot #imagine #scenario #fan fic #fan fiction

[jellyjays]

transfem kuai liang headcanon

hi. as a precursor to this whole post, i'm going to give the forwarning that i am absolutely batshit insane about this. if one could call an avid fan of something 'down the rabbit hole', then i am in the core of the fucking planet of this. i am thinking about her at all hours of the day. i have a several thousand WC braindump doc that i still need to elaborate on. with that said, if you're willing to give a look-see, jump down the rabbit hole with me as i give you the rundown.

i have many, many, many words about her. many of them. but i'll try to summarize my reasoning for this particular headcanon because it's actually much much deeper than the initial vibes.

THE DEEPER REASONING

kuai as a character seems really closed-off and disconnected. especially when we first meet him. he's duty first, no-nonsense. he's quiet. and then we get to know him more, and to know bi-han more, and there's this... sense of unease, somewhat? like bi-han, we can see that he is standing on firm foundations of his ideals. we know what he wants. we know who he is. he stays true to these ideals, even by betraying his brothers to join the side of shang tsung and quan chi. he is a character who knows what he wants and we can predict his actions based on it. on the other hand, in contrast, kuai liang seems almost... unstable, in a sense, and adrift. we only really get to know the fact that he valued his father's teachings. and bi-hans betrayal seems to throw him even more adrift.

and being adrift and unstable on his foundations is a trait i see VERY often in my own experience and in the experience of my transfem friends (and here we hit my biggest point on why i headcanon kuai liang as transfem-- the sheer number of parallels between his story and trans experiences).

when bi-han betrays the lin kuei, and in turn, kuai and smoke, kuai has no issues taking down SEVERAL fighters along with general shao-- and you can sense the rage that fuels it (yet another parallel with trans experience). that feeling of 'i put faith in you, i trusted you,', and in this case, 'i followed you, i am who i am because of you, i changed myself for you, and you repay me with this?'

it's unbelievable pain and anger and betrayal, and though he eventually calms enough that he goes back to his quiet, calculative self, it's earth-shaking. this parallels a lot of the feeling, in the trans experience, of the betrayal you feel when your loved ones, the ones you trusted, you changed yourself for, turn to transphobia and terf rhetoric. turn to the beliefs you know hurt people (earthrealm, or your trans friends) and hurt you, and make you their new target.

i'm sad we don't get much focus on kuai liang after that chapter of the story-- i'd pay good money to get an expansion of his story. we know at the very least that he goes on with smoke to form the shirai ryu, and train the young hanzo hasashi, but that tells us nothing, so i don't have a lot to work with. but that gives a lot of wiggle room when making guesses at his character.

reviewing what we know, i reiterate that parallels make kuai liang's character incredibly readable as trans-coded. and i will say now that i know nothing about him screams 'fem!', but i see his character as transfem because of other things-- once again, parallels. kuai liang, as a character, is very clearly honor-driven. he values, above all, his family. his lost father, his bonds with his brothers. his clan. and on top of that, none of his character reads... as 'man' to me. kuai just doesn't read as someone who identifies with a man to me. by that, i mean that he does not seem... comfortable or confident in his masculinity. and that disconnect, once again, is a DIRECT parallel to trans experiences.

THE FUN STUFF

ok now that i've gotten that out of my system i can tell you about the more fun headcanons i have around her heheh

uses she/he pronouns

smoke gave her a golden scorpion-shaped hair claw and she uses it ALL THE TIME.

she likes to wear eyeliner in everyday life and do fancy eyeliner for battle

he and smoke have bonding time while smoke braids her hair. she very frequently falls asleep during braiding time.

smoke is also her biggest supporter, but hanzo is very frequently fighting for the title.

i will be adding more as i think about it. this is all for today. i hope you enjoyed this post. ok byeeeee

#fem kuai liang #i will tag all posts about this with that #mk1 kuai liang #mk1 art #mk1 #mk1 2023 #mk1 bi han #mk1 scorpion #mk1 headcanons #trans headcanon #connor is mk1posting again #kuai liang fanart #scorpion fanart

[ajvocals43]

could you write one where dean is just having a rough day and doesn’t want to be alone when he goes to sleep but also doesn’t want to ask the reader to cuddle him because he’s dean💀 like a little fluff and comfort

This is so cute. I'm not used to writing comfort for others but I tried. It kind of took a turn from where I was going originally, but I hope you like it all the same.

What I'm Here For

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count:

Warnings: Mentions of PTSD, slight swearing

A/n: This was shorter than I thought it was going to be and honestly, I got excited about a part of it that I actually ended up using for a different fic so that's another thing.

Ever since Dean’s been back he’s been off. Which is to be expected I guess, I mean… he was in hell. Believe me, Sam and I would never forgive ourselves for not being able to bring him back. I don't know how he survived as long as he did down there. It was to be expected that he’d be pretty traumatized. He tries to play it off but we can see it. The fear behind his eyes, the sadness and the anger. That last one was pretty apparent; specifically when anyone tried to get him to talk about that time. He was always on edge. He closed himself off from us. Until he snapped at Sam which was worrying; because if he wouldn't talk to Sam, he surely wouldn't talk to me. 

 Dean and I’s bond was strong but not as strong as his bond was with his brother. Anyone with common sense knew that the brothers’ bond was stronger than pretty much anything. Our relationship was…complicated to say the least. We both knew that there was something under the surface, there were looks and kisses and…other things… but with everything our lives entailed, we were both too scared to identify it. But even then, apparently we were not great at hiding those feelings, as we’d been told by others.

Multiple times. 

Today had been a great example of that as tension surrounded the house that only the two of us occupied. Sam and Bobby had left earlier on to head to the local library, only to be caught in one of the biggest storms I’d ever seen. They’d called a little earlier to say that they were staying to help with crowd control and they’d head out when the storm passed. Which left me and Dean at Bobby’s house with not much to do. We’d busied ourselves with research on the apocalypse and whatever we could get our hands on about the angels.

Until the power went out. 

Now I was sitting in the kitchen in the dark at… 12am waiting for Dean to get back from checking the main breaker panel out back. The only light came from the fire in the study and the few candles across the floor to ensure that we didn't fall on our faces. It was cold and rainy and windy and dark and he’d refused to let me go with him. It wasn’t a big deal but I didn't want to just sit here like some kind of damsel. But that was a fight I wasn't in the mood to pick tonight.

 A gust of cold wind and rain blew through the house as the door swung open in front of Dean’s shadowed figure. And straight out of a movie, a bolt of lightning shot across the sky, visible through the open doorway. And Dean was just standing there. 

“Is that supposed to be scaring me?” I called from my place in the entryway.

No answer.

“Would you come inside? It's freezing out there!” 

Still no answer.

“Dean?” I was getting impatient. And cold. 

Another lightning bolt cracked across the sky and it was then that I noticed Dean’s figure shaking. It hit me then. “Oh my g- Dean!” I rushed toward him, pulling him into the house and kicking the door shut behind him. I hadn't thought about the PTSD the storm would’ve caused for Dean. His movements were jerky and stiff as I helped him peel the drenched coat and flannel from his arms. I moved him over to the fireplace and went to the kitchen to find something hot to drink. 

 Sometime later I was walking back into the study with two steaming mugs. “Thankfully, Bobby has a gas stove.” I announced. Dean turned around in time for me to hand him one of the mugs. “Careful, it's hot.” 

“Thanks, mom.” Dean grumbled, blowing steam off the top. I chuckled, relieved that he was getting back to normal. It was quiet for a while…well until Dean took a sip. “Ugh. What is this?” 

 I laughed, “it’s tea, Dean.” 

“It’s gross is what it is.” He said, putting his cup down. 

“It’s healthier than alcohol.” I said, taking a sip of my own only to spit it back out. “Nope, that's disgusting.” I put my mug down next to Dean’s, laughing.  

I was relieved to see the tension start to ease from his frame as he joined me in my laughter. “I didn't even know Bobby had tea.” 

“Yeah…probably not the best choice on my part.” I leaned back next to Dean. Because Bobby’s couch was so damn old, I sunk in further than I thought I would, but neither of us said anything. We both shifted around a little before we got comfortable. 

 It was quiet for a while after that. I wasn't going to prod at Dean about the elephant in the room. He would talk about it when he was ready. Plus, I was not in the mood to get into another fight with him right now. We were all the other had for the moment since there was no power and nobody nearby. There wasn't any danger nearby and it was getting late. We both should have headed to bed but I didn't say anything for a while. 

 Until I realized I was starting to fall asleep on the couch. And so was he. We were snuggled pretty close at this point but neither of us mentioned it. I certainly wasn't going to complain about being this close to his warm body. 

"You should go to bed." I said quietly.

“What? No. I’m good.” The exhaustion was slurring his words. But no way was I leaving Dean. That storm was still raging outside. If anything, it’d gotten worse. Dean might’ve acted like he was okay but that didn't mean I had to. He was exhausted but I knew that he wouldn't sleep like this. His nightmares were bad enough and that was if he could fall asleep in the first place. 

"Dean."

 “I’m fine,” he insisted. More lightning lit up the sky, followed by a loud rumbling of thunder and I felt Dean stiffen beside me. I knew by this point that physical contact was the way to get through to him when he was scared. I tried grabbing his hand that rested on his leg but it didn't seem like enough. So I let go and stood up. 

"What are you doing?" he asked.

 “Lay down,” I said. He wasn't going to go to bed by himself. If I left him alone, he would probably just drink and wait for Bobby and Sam. 

"Y/n-"

“Shut up and lay down.” I insisted. “On your side.” I corrected.

The fear was still there but now it was mostly covered with confusion. But he complied, only jumping slightly when more thunder rolled outside. I hesitated for a second but then laid down next to him. I wrapped my arms around him, hoping that he didn't push me away. Well, physically at least.

It took him a second but eventually Dean pulled me into him, tangling our limbs so I couldn't tell where exactly I ended and he began. But I felt him relax again, breathing a sigh into my hair. “Thank you.” he murmured.

 “Don't worry about it.” I said back quietly. “It’s what I’m here for.” I nuzzled my face into his neck, bringing us as close as I could. All I could hope for was that this brought Dean as much comfort as it brought me. Not that I’d tell him but I cared for him more than I had for most people in my life. A lot more than I thought I would. I would do anything to help him. Always.

Masterlist

#deanwinchester #dean winchester #dean fluff #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean x reader #dean x you #dean winchester fic #supernatural #dean winchester supernatural #dean winchester fanfic #spn

[nyxsealia]

An example of why LGBTQ+ representation in media matters, especially children's media.

As a child I didn't know LGBTQ+ people existed. There were no queer people in my family, or in family friends. (At least, that I was aware of) I remember one time we went to the library and there was an educational table set up outside with information about pride. I asked my mom what all the rainbows were for. I don't remember what she said, other than I remember her mentioning one of my older brother's friends who apparently had two moms. I was very little. I forgot about that conversation and was no more aware of queer people.

I don't remember seeing queer characters in media. The first time I can remember seeing LGBTQ+ people depicted in anything was in the music video for Avichii's "Addicted to You" the plot of the music video follows a pair of female robbers who are explicitly in a romantic relationship. I was absolutely fascinated by this music video when I saw my brother watching it. I was eleven. This music video follows a lot of the common queer TV tropes. The women are criminals, the "bad guys" and they die in the end. But this was the first time I can remember seeing lesbians.

Even as a teenager, I don't remember seeing much LGBTQ+ characters in media. I was intrigued when the token gay side character would show up in a TV show, but that wasn't really representation. I still knew nothing about queer people. A boy in my art class came out to me as trans. The exact words he used were "I'm a trans guy." and I legitimately didn't know if that meant ftm or mtf. I accidentally misgendered him once because of it.

In my early teens, I said some pretty ignorant things. Luckily just to my family, but still. It wasn't until I started questioning my sexuality in my late teens that I actually started to learn anything about the LGBTQ+ community. I did a lot of research, not all related to figuring out my sexuality, just about LGBTQ+ experiences and identities. I watched videos by LGBTQ+ YouTubers, listened to podcasts, read articles, all by queer creators.

I especially made a point of understanding transgender people, because that was something at the time that greatly confused me. So I looked for videos, podcasts, articles etc, made by transgender people themselves where they talked about their feelings and experiences. It made a huge difference. I wasn't confused anymore, I couldn't relate to how they felt, but I had understanding and empathy. I went from confused and unaware, to understanding and supportive. Just from a bit of research.

But even at this point, there was still little to no LGBTQ+ media representation. When I came out at 18 and felt comfortable picking movies focused on queer characters, I had a heck of a time finding any. I did find some, and while a lot of them weren't great, I did find a few really good ones. (Saving Face and Late Bloomers are two of my favourites)

Things are getting better, slowly. We're starting to see more media focused around LGBTQ+ characters, and children's media including the topic. It's long overdue and we're still not quite there yet. You're gonna have a hard time finding media focused on LGBTQ+ characters that aren't white, able bodied gay, lesbian, or bisexual characters. Representation for trans, non binary, asexual and aromantic identifies, queer people of different ethnic and cultural backgrounds, religious queer people, and disabled queer people, and any combination of the above, is still lacking. We still have more work to do.

Having these kinds of shows and movies would have made a big difference for me growing up, and it will make a big difference for thousands of other kids who are growing up right now.

This isn't a negative post to complain about the lack of media, it's an example of it's importance and optimism for the future. I do believe this will continue to get better, however slow that may be. This is just my little reminder of why it needs to.

I hope anyone who reads this is having a good day. You're valid and loved, no matter who you are. Stay safe.

#lgbt #lgbtq #queer #lesbian #nonbinary #transgender #gay #pansexual #asexual #aromantic #queer media #queer representation #lgbt media #lgbt representation #lgntq #lgbtq representation #lgbtq media #genderfluid #agender #genderqueer #lgbtq movies #lgbt movies #queer movies #queer tv #lgbt tv #lgbtq tv #queer kids #lgbt kids #queer youth #lgbt youth

[haruharuz]

Self Therapy; A Note

I've been pondering about this concept for quite a while now. Therapy itself is a wonderful tool to pick your broken pieces up and gently glue them back together- as if they were never broken at all.

However, not everyone has the resources to truly indulge in such tools. So I mulled over the idea of doing therapy almost at home. While it won't be as effective, as far as my personal experience goes, therapists typically give out homework to their patients.

I want to make it clear that because you're doing this kind of thing at home, it is vital to remain cautious. This is not medical advice, just something to consider.

If you do not have the resources to go to therapy, doing a self therapy session every single week could be beneficial, I think. I'm making a little guide on how exactly I personally am choosing to do this.

(●´∀｀●)

Step One: Choose An App

There are many many free apps specifically geared towards mental health. I've used a few, one of which being "WYSA" which I personally enjoyed. Pick one you think would suit you!

I enjoy these apps primarily because they typically have some free form of help. Like breathing exercises, meditation, etc! You can skip this step if you don't feel comfortable.

Step Two: Find Resources Online

You can easily find a lot of free resources online by looking up "therapy worksheet" "anxiety worksheet" "depression worksheet" etc.

Find a couple that you think would suit you to work on for the first week. The more you find, I recommend stockpiling them into a folder! This way, every new session you can either pre-plan said worksheets or grab a couple quickly.

I also highly recommend looking for journal prompts! Especially shadow work journal prompts that help you release certain emotions. You can do this with pen and a notebook or you can use a laptop/tablet for this! If you don't feel secure, password protect documents or hide your journal in a very safe place.

Step Three: Plan your first Session

Identify what you would like to address/work on during the session. Write it down.

Find the worksheets and exercises you want to do, plan them out. It's easier to go ahead and print/write/type them now and put them in a folder with a clear name. (e.g. ST.session1)

Find a day in the week when you know you will have at least one hour of free time. During this one hour of free time, you will be taking the time to do all of your things ! You can do this before bed, in the middle of the day. Just choose a time you think would be best.

I recommend setting a small goal every 1-2 sessions. Remember, goals should be reasonable, attainable, and measurable. Little steps. (For instance, if you struggle with severe social anxiety like I did, you can make a goal "order a coffee one time", but there's many ways to do this)

You can add more to this if you want! Please remember, you can add a face mask and reading a nice book, or other coping skills/self care to this if you think it might help. I recommend choosing things based off on how much time you have and how effective they are at helping you cope. You can also add them all separately to a "self care" day weekly. Up to you.

Example Setup

I'm sharing my personal set-up and plan with you! Some people need visuals <3

This is my folder set up:

as you can see, I have three folders inside a "self therapy" folder!

inside the "journaling" folder, I have three documents that align with the session outline (pictured next) that is in its respective folder. The first one has a journal prompt, the second two are completely blank and only named. They're just sitting there, waiting and ready!

This is my session outline. It includes what issues I'll be addressing and what exercises I'll be doing. Also, the next goal I'd like to work towards. This includes how I plan to do so. I also put a clear DAY and TIME for this session.

This is the worksheet I'll be doing:

And that's all! I'll be following this tomorrow and drinking some chocolate milk and relaxing :3 not too shabby, huh! Don't forget, if you are ever thinking about hurting yourself: call a hotline.

#mental health #depression #anxiety #adhd #neurodivergent #actually neurodiverse #actually mentally ill #mental illness #mental wellbeing #mental wellness #self therapy #self help #self healing #tutorial #harusclass #anxiety relief #depression relief #self love #self improvement #self awareness #self empowerment #self worth #love u #self discovery #self growth #growth #reminders #positivity

[ruhorih4ra]

Hello everyone! It's been a long, loooong time! But now I'm back with the comfort I promised (AND the angst you didn't ask for!)! (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

I'm sorry for the cliffhanger, It really wasn't my intention to completely lose my ability to think 👎🏻

Sorry for the grammatical errors (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

Get out of my way 🌈

“No! Let me go!” You said, but you were too tired to pronounce the words correctly. You felt drained and on edge.

You lost consciousness for a couple of minutes and then heat ran through your entire body. You felt something insight your bones, surround your core, a smooth voice calling your name. “Shh! Don't worry, MC, everything's fine. I'm here.” Simeon was holding you with a firm grip, his wings covering you from the cold air, the light emanating from his halo was both bright and warm.

You opened your eyes to see a truly angelic sight, the glimmering blue eyes of Simeon. Blue like a clear sky, blue like water after an endless sea of sand. “Simeon.” You cried, hugging him. Clinging to his arms. “Please, help me!” And even if you heard a tiny voice in your head berating you and calling you a pathetic coward, you couldn’t feel anything but relief in the angel’s arms.

Simeon's eyes were beautiful but the shadow of fear clouded his gaze, he could see your desperation, he could feel your panic. As he looked through the darkness of the Devildom, he prepared to combat any demon who even dared to get close to you. He would protect you with his life but, he couldn't feel anything. There weren’t demons around or at least perceptible ones.

“Simeon.” You murmured, “I'm tired.” Your eyelids felt heavy, giving you the appearance of a small child fighting his sleep. He knew it was the adrenaline that was running out, soon the pain from your injuries would take over you too. “It’s okay, take a little nap, you’ll feel better when you wake up.”

Simeon watched how his magic healed your arms, deep scratches turning into little ones. However, he didn’t know how to proceed, but one thing was certain, Lucifer and the prince must be aware of your absence and worried sick too.

“I’ll take you to the house of lamentation, Mc.” As soon as you processed those words, sleep left your body and was replaced with panic. “NO!” Your eyes widened and your grip on Simeon's arms tightened. “No! Don't let me get close to them!!” You cried, ignorant of Simeon’s growing anger. The wrath of an angel, always so cold and dangerous.

Maybe if you weren't so tired you would have noticed how Simeon's muscles tensed. How his eyes lost their warmth and his voice came out bitterly cold. “Did they hurt you?” “No!” You said, shaking your head. “No! They didn't!”

“I did!” You thought and it sank deep into your heart. “I hurt them.” But you couldn't voice that to Simeon, not yet. What would the angel say? What would he do? Leaving you too, that's for sure. Simeon’s anger was exchanged with worry and confusion, but you knew he wouldn't push for answers. “How do you feel now, Mc? Does it still hurts?” He asked, his fingers gently wiping away the tears you hadn’t noticed.

You scanned your body, but unlike a few minutes ago, there wasn't much to see, just light bruises and little scratches. The angel's curative magic had done its job almost immediately and you could only stare in awe. Simeon looked at you but you were absent, if only he could know what had brought you to this state.

“Do you want to go to the castle, Mc?.” You shook your head, this time you didn't panic, instead you seemed sad. “No, please. Take me to Purgatory Hall and let me stay there until I can return home.” You knew Simeon wouldn't deny you that, he was too good for his own good. “Is something happening in the house of lamentation? Why do you need to wait?”

The angel looked at you, identifying what he thought was confusion and surprise, but after a fraction of a second, sadness quickly took over your face. “I mean, when I can go back to the human world.” you murmured, and that's the saddest voice he have ever heard from you.

He knew something was utterly wrong, you had told him that the brothers hadn't hurt you, but your body and soul said the opposite. Why don't you want to see them? Simeon knows how forgiving you are, maybe they did hurt you and you don't want him to get angry.

Why do you want to go back to the human world even if months ago you were reluctant to go. What changed? Even if he wanted to know the truth, he knew what the priority was.

“Let's go then, Mc. You need a warm bath and something nice to eat.” He saw your wary eyes and let escape a small laugh of relief. “Don't worry, Solomon is on a trip.” For the first time in a while, you laughed too.

***

“Let me see them, Simeon.” The angel hadn't seen Mammon wearing an expression so serious and deadly since the war. “No.” He replied, his face kind and composed as it tended to be. Mammon had arrived at the exact moment Simeon had decided to leave.

“Move.” Mammon's voice was devoid of any warmth or consideration, he was giving an order whether Simeon was willing to indulge or not, he couldn’t care less. “Mammon, calm down.” Lucifer arrived, followed by the Prince and Barbatos. Simeon tried not to show his surprise at Lucifer’s poor state, he looked pale, his hair was messy, and his posture was far from ramrod straight.

“You're both hurt. Mammon, Lucifer, what happened?” Simeon had barely asked when Mammon tried to grab him by the neck. He easily eluded the movement and pushed Mammon away with a hand, a swift motion, elegant but firm. “Don't.” Simeon warned.

“Mammon, Mc wouldn't be pleased with this behavior.” Barbatos said as Diavolo firmly squeezed the demon’s shoulder. “Barbatos is right, please calm down.” Mammon brush off Diavolo's hand with little to no manners, something that would have angered Lucifer if the demon of pride wasn’t so desperate too. “Simeon.” Lucifer murmured. “Is Mc safe?”

Simeon held Mammon's gaze, none of them were willing to give in. “They’re safe.” He managed to say and Mammon’s fury decreased a little but not enough to give up. “They are resting in Solomon's room. They don't want to see any of you.” Simeon's eyes found Diavolo's. “Any of you.” He repeated.

“Mc doesn't want to see us?” A hoarse voice asked. Everyone turned to look at the disheveled demon, Satan. The Avatar of Wrath was leaning on Asmodeus’ shoulder, an odd sight given that Asmo wasn't on better condition than the blonde.

“That's not true! They called us through the pact!!” Asmo said, if the desperation in his voice wasn't enough to convey urgency, then his appearance could do the job. His eyes were red and swollen, his clothes were wrinkled and stained and Simeon was sure he could smell blood on them.

“If they called, why didn’t you respond?” The angel asked, his confusion grew with every passing second. Before Asmodeus could respond, the voice of the younger twin did. “They didn’t want us to.” Belphie and Beelzebub arrived together along with Leviathan, the latter was hanging like a sack of potatoes from Beel’s back.

“Lucifer, Levi doesn’t stop shaking. He’s cold.” Lucifer hurried to his brother’s side and took Levi from Beelzebub’s back with a gentleness only he could manage in his exhausted state. “He’s cold-blooded, he’ll be fine.” He said, trying to reassure everybody, although his eyes betrayed him.

Levi was cold, colder than usual. It was true that his brother’s body temperature was low on a daily basis, but this wasn’t the case, his brother was dying. He realized it when he saw the purple fingers of Leviathan, his pale skin and his almost imperceptible breath.

“Leviathan!” He said as he sat down on the floor of Purgatory hall entrance, embracing him as he had once done with his little sister. “Simeon.” Lucifer didn’t have to ask twice, the angel was already at Levi’s side. Both Lucifer and Simeon could see that his lips tried to pronounce your name. “They’re safe, Levi. I’m going to help you now, okay? Don’t worry.” Simeon said, his voice steady but Lucifer didn’t miss the slight tremor in his little finger.

The nerves of everyone were on edge, the prince of the Devildom would panic too if he hadn’t noticed the calm in Barbatos demeanor. The butler was looking attentively at Leviathan’s form but in Diavolo’s eyes it was as if his focus were on Simeon.

“Where is Mammon?” Beelzebub suddenly asked when he noticed the absence of one of his brothers. Everyone scanned the room but the white haired demon wasn’t there. Simeon mentally apologized to you, but continued healing Levi, deciding that you certainly wouldn’t want him to let him die.

***

Simeon had treated you so kindly that you were sure heaven couldn’t be better. The angel was right, a warm bath and a delicious dinner had done the trick, lulling you into a much needed sleep. You woke up alone in Simeon’s bed, vaguely remembering how he had told you that Luke was in the celestial realm for a short period of time before coming back. “I wonder why.” You murmured.

Soon, your thoughts flew to the previous events. The Little D.’s sudden change, Lilith recounting every hurtful thing you did… Lilith. You looked at every corner of the room, expecting to see her at any moment. “Lilith?” You called her in a whisper. Nothing happened, the room was as quiet as before. “Lilith!” You bit your lips. The last thing you had seen of her was a fearful expression while trying to reach your hand. A brief, intrusive thought crossed your mind: perhaps that was the last Beelzebub saw of her too.

You bit on your lip harder. “I’m sorry, Lilith.” You heard a commotion outside the room and found yourself hoping, quickly leaving the bed and reaching for the door. Your hand was on the knob when he spoke. “Mc.” He pleaded. “Are you in there?” He whispered. Although a door was in between, you could hear him as clearly as ever and also feel how he leaned his forehead against it. “Are you okay?” Mammon asked.

“I’m afraid.” He wanted to say. He was so used to being honest around you that it had cost him an actual effort to hold back those words.

“I am.” You murmured, your hand still on the knob, your knuckles stood up due to the force you were applying while gripping the door handle. “I’m okay.” You sobbed. “You don’t sound okay, Mc. Please, let me in.” It was clear that he was trying very hard to speak without falling apart.

“Please, treasure. I’ll do everything you asked me. Okay? I’ll sleep on the streets and I promise you I’ll never seek shelter from the rain.” He said, and now you were sure he was crying, although he half laughed at that last part. “I think my brothers agree that I’m already the lowliest fucker in the Devildom.” He waited for a few moments before continuing. “I sure feel that way when you’re not around.” You let go of the handle and took a few steps back, unsure of what to do. “I’ll go bankrupt too if that’s what you want, I’ll beg. I’m begging you, please Mc.” His voice cracked and he slid to the floor.

For every minute that passed you felt sinking further into misery as you heard Mammon’s muffled sobs. You cried too, reaching for the knob again, and again he interrupted you. “Is it true? Is it true that you don’t want to see us?” He asked. “Yeah, I guess that’s what we deserve.” You heard him move. “I don’t want to, but if this is what ya need.” Mammon said, trying to sound convinced and he was glad that you couldn’t see his face because it would completely ruin his facade.

“I love you, Mc. I know you asked me this before and all I said was-” He remembered his previous attempt, he had felt like a fool ever since then. “Sc told me that you’d prefer honesty and-” He was never that good when it comes to admitting his feelings, even worse when he tries to express them. “Agh!! Fuck, it doesn’t matter what that witch told me now.” He said, your eyebrows furrowed. Had he called her a witch? Did you hear right? “She’s not a bad person, I think you’d like her.”

Mammon laughed softly. “She even helped me practice a couple of times but,” You waited for the demon to continue speaking, to clear up all the confusion that he had created with his awful ability to tangle everything. “I couldn’t do it. I mean, I know it was supposed to be practice, but like, ya know?”

You hit your forehead on the door, it wasn’t on purpose but Mammon was making things more difficult than you could handle at the moment. On the other side of the door, the demon gave a little jump out of surprise. He couldn’t figure out if you were mad or just wanted him to go away.

“I was supposed to practice how to-” He looked at the floor. “How to confess. But I couldn’t do it, she wasn’t you.” He simply said, of course he omitted some things, for example, how Sc lost her patience and started rambling about how ridiculous it was that an immortal being had romantic problems and how stupid he looked and how they don’t pay her enough.

“I love you, Mc.” He said it again as a final goodbye and you waited, an unspoken response dancing on your lips. You wanted to reciprocate, a hug from the real avatar of greed and not from his impostor, his perverse and dangerous impostor. This was your battle, that much you knew but, if you could just hug him one more time, then maybe all the pain you had been through would be worth it.

“Mammon!” You opened the door and quickly ran out of the room. However, given that the poor demon had barely moved, you ended up crashing. Even so, he wasted no time wrapping you in his arms, feeling as if only then he could breath again. He cupped your face before checking your head, your arms, your legs.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t leave but I tried! Did it hurt? Are ya okay?” You nodded but the tears that threatened with spilling out were hard to contain, your whole face turned to one of grieve. “I don’t want you to- I don’t…” You took his shirt with both hands. “I don’t want you to be poor!” You managed to say.

Mammon let out the most relieved laugh you’d heard from him in a long time, and the smile that adorned his face could have convinced Raphael to open the gates of the celestial realm (you definitely would). “Jeez, Mc. I know you wouldn’t want the Great Mammon to be poor. Would ya?” He laughed again, but after a minute, his face turned wary as a light blush appeared.

He was not the avatar of pride, he did not care about losing his dignity, he would gladly surrender to you. He would give you everything he is and will be. He’s not the avatar of wrath or envy. “I’m Mammon, the avatar of greed. All I ever do is wanting, and all I ever want is you. If I can see you smile, even for a fraction of time, I would be the richest demon of all.”

He gave you a sweet, soft kiss, something that felt like a caress, like the touch of sunlight on a cold day. Mammon rested his forehead on yours and closed his eyes. “I love you, Mc!” He said, it surprised him how easily the words escaped him, how right it felt to have you in his arms again, to breath in the smell of your hair and bathe in the warmth of your body.

You couldn’t stop looking at Mammon’s face, how peaceful he seemed, wet face and runny nose, but beautiful nonetheless. You took his cheek on your hand and kissed him again. “I love you too, Mammon.” He didn’t utter a word but you still haven’t said all you wanted. “I love you and I’m sorry for all the things I asked you to do. Please, don’t ever go to that extent for me or anyone.” You searched his eyes only to discover a pair of big, dreamy blue eyes looking at you. “You love me?” His face changed again as another dashing smile appeared. “Yes! Of course you love me!” He hugged you again, excitedly moving you from one place to another. “Hey! Listen to me!”

“I would do all that for you, I don’t care! I’m sorry, I’m a demon after all!” he didn’t stop smiling. “I’m your first! I have to follow your every wish!” You grabbed his hand and forced him to stop. “Would you do something for me, then?” He laughed knowingly and this time his eyes reflected something you had seen before, on rare occasions, but you had seen it. “Yes treasure, I would do anything for you and that includes not going to that extent. Stop worrying, silly human. Don’t you know that you would never let us get to that point?”

“I’m not sure of that.” You tried to move away but Mammon closed the distance again. “I don’t know many things, but I’m sure of this one.” He tilted his head to the side and his eyes searched yours, asking for permission. You closed the distance and kissed him on the lips, your hands reaching for his hair while Mammon’s arms pulled you closer.

You knew you had lots of things to discuss, apologies to give and some others to accept, but right there, in Mammon’s arms, you felt safe and complete. Surely, the uncomfortable conversation could wait.

But happiness is short-lived. Isn’t it?

Part 15? ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

Taglist: @yuumaofc @kodasstar @sadlily1 @asmolover1234 @gallantys @prefesro @urminebutidontwantyou @fiveofspades @owl778 @unkownbish101 @pinkvelvetcake1 @bontensbabygirl @exrellian @kaiserkisser

Thank you for reading (and waiting! Heheh) (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

#obey me #obey me fanfic #obey me mc #obey me fandom #obey me gn!reader #obey me lucifer #obey me angst #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me simeon #obey me diavolo #obey me solomon #Obey me Asmodeus #obey me little d #obey me belphegor #obey me hurt/comfort

[withoutyouimsaskia]

Decisions (Sandman One-Shot)

​GIF: Originally posted by @teenwolf-theoriginals​​​​

Pairing: Morpheus/Dream of the Endless x gender neutral reader

Summary: One-shot. Reader self-insert. Established relationship. Newly married. Fluff. You and Morpheus are due to attend an Endless family gathering and you ask Morpheus for points on what to wear.

Warnings: suggestive themes?

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: Hello there! I'm still riding the high from meeting Tom at Basingstoke Comic-Con on Saturday (drabble post about the experience here) and it has boosted my creativity enough to finish this WIP that has been in my drafts for 2+ months. Thank you, Tom <3

Sandman Masterlist

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You huff an emotion laden sigh into the air as you stare at the neatly displayed garments before you. Over thirty minutes have passed since you made the decision to open the wardrobe and try to choose an outfit.

You have run your fingers over each item at least ten times now in the hope that one of the textures would prompt you into committing. It’s been fruitless and now, you are standing in front of the gaping hole formed by the parted doors and feeling as if the clothes are taunting you.

Despite being wholly frustrated, you are reluctant to give up and come back to the task later with a clear head. You are going to be in the same room as all of the Endless siblings for the first time in a matter of hours and an urgency has taken hold of you.

You hear footsteps coming from the hallway and you immediately identify them as Morpheus'. Your unease turns to nausea. Surely it couldn't have been time to go already?

A quick check of your wristwatch allays your fears a little. It was not as late as you had feared. You plop down to sit at the foot of your bed; your frantic search does not need an audience. However, your tension still remains in your frame and you know it will not be long before it is noticed and queried.

As soon as your husband takes one look at you after entering the room, he walks straight over and says, "You appear troubled, my love."

You shake your head, forcing a smile. "Everything's fine," you answer breezily.

Morpheus picks up on your feigned nonchalance, astute gaze then falling to the anxious way you are unknowingly twisting your wedding band around your finger.

He speaks your name and the sound of it is like a whisper of the wind. You chance a peek at his face, his blue eyes overflow with concern.

Your shoulders slump in defeat and you immediately spill the truth of the situation.

"Actually, I'm struggling to decide what to wear for this evening."

"I would recommend something that you feel comfortable in," He replies softly.

You move off the bed, repeating the adjective in your mind as you pick anxiously through the clothes once more.

It's futile.

"I need some kind of brief to work to." You turn to fix him with an imploring look. "Please."

Morpheus begins to sense that your agitation might be masking something deeper. He decides to be open with you about his own feelings in the hope that you may open up in return.

He comes closer and takes both your hands in his.

"My only stipulation for this evening is that you sit between myself and my elder sister."

You protectively edge closer to your partner. His words give rise to a desire to understand if there is subtext accompanying his statement.

"Do you feel nervous?"

He pauses. "Not nervous. Apprehensive is a more apt descriptor."

You nod before admitting quietly, "I think I may be feeling the same as you, Morpheus."

His right hand finds your jawbone. "I'll be right there to support you."

You smile crookedly. "And I you."

He rubs small circles on your cheek with his thumb.

"We can also leave whenever you wish."

"Can we have a cut and run safe word?"

Morpheus is amused by your phrase, and the corners of his mouth pull up ever so slightly.

"I welcome it. What would like to choose?"

You contemplate silently. "How about if I call you Dream?"

You never use the name Dream for your husband, it has always been Morpheus. The name he had offered when you had first met. To use the alternative that his siblings used seemed like a smart choice; it wouldn't draw attention if you had to say it in anything other than a whisper.

"Dream," he confirms.

With some decisions made and comfort provided, you turn back to the wardrobe. You sigh once more as dejection rears its head.

"I shall be wearing this, if it is of any help to you."

You look round to see Morpheus gesturing to the outfit he has just willed into existence. He is sporting a black, flowy sleeved chiffon shirt. The buttons are done up all the way to the top, accentuating his perfect neck. His signature jeans and lace-up boots complete the look.

The change in your demeanour is like a match being lit. Your lips part, a solution forming in your mind.

"So smart casual?"

You are looking at him with such a hopeful expression. Heartfelt reassurance is the key; he can see how much you need it right now.

"Yes," he replies with an encouraging smile.

You now approach the wardrobe with confidence; posture straight, eyes up. Morpheus listens to you talking quietly to yourself as you pick your way across the rack from left to right.

“No, no, no… Ahh, there you are.”

You triumphantly produce a black shirt from a hanger, the sleeves of which are embroidered with delicate constellations and crescent moons, and a pair of black jeans from the adjacent drawers.

Morpheus places himself in a nearby chair and from his newly seated position, he watches you swap the oversized green jumper and blue jeans that you are wearing for the just-selected outfit.

You struggle for a moment in securing the cuffs of the shirt but soon you are standing in front of the mirror and smoothing the front of the garment down.

You turn to the side to inspect your profile. "What do you think?"

Morpheus comes up behind you. You maintain eye contact through the mirror.

"Perfect," he whispers in your ear. "You are perfect."

A heady blush spreads at his words. His arms slip around your waist

“Thank you for helping me.”

“You are most welcome, my love.”

It is impossible to keep your attention off of him. His own shirt is sheer enough for you to see his toned torso beneath.

His image, coupled with the combination of him suddenly kissing your neck has your stomach dropping deliciously. He continues until you are weak and dazed with pleasure.

You breathlessly turn to face him. Lust smoulders in his celestial eyes.

You have left the top two buttons of your shirt undone; Morpheus touches his fingers delicately to the exposed skin.

"I fear I may struggle to get through even the first course with you looking like this, my love," he murmurs.

You rest your palms on his chest.

"The safe word is there for you too, My King. Say the word and I'll go anywhere you want."

A low groan rumbles under your hands as well as in your ears. Morpheus leans in so he is mere millimetres from you.

He smirks flirtatiously. "Very well, my sweet dream.”

He then closes the remaining distance to hungrily press his lips to yours.

#the sandman #sandman #the sandman netflix #the sandman 2022 #the sandman imagine #the sandman fanfic #the sandman fic #the sandman one shot #one shot #fanfiction #gender neutral reader #reader self insert #morpheus #lord morpheus #the endless #the dreaming #morpheus x reader #morpheus/dream #morpheus/dream x reader #dream #dream x reader #dream of the endless #dream of the endless x reader #tom sturridge #fluff #comfort #romance

[not-poignant]

A lot of folks don't realise that they're fanpolice, or at least have the potential to be fanpolice (or engage in feelings yakuza style behaviours), and a good way to check if you're fanpol - at least when it comes to fanfiction - is a common sentiment that even I've fallen into the trap of expressing, and it goes like this:

'I just need the author to know they're writing something that's wrong.'

It could be that you read something triggery or squicky, or that the author is writing something so dark, you're genuinely unsure they understand that something is morally objectionable irl.

On AO3 this is very easy to check: Did they use appropriate warnings? And tags? Does the content of this fic reasonably fall under these tags and warnings?

If the answer is yes, then the author knows.

They might not share the same understanding as you, but they certainly know enough to warn folks in advance. It might even be tags that you've always been comfortable with but for some reason, in this one fic, get squicked by, and immediately assume 'oh god it's the author' and not 'oh god, it's the writing, I've been squicked.'

If you're still unable to distinguish whether the author knows the difference between right and wrong after seeing an author appropriately tag a work with something like 'dead dove: do not eat' - you may not be able to tell the difference, or alternatively, are having a kneejerk reaction to something very squicky personally.

(In the case of fics that have been inappropriately Warned for - i.e. 'No Warnings Apply' in the case of Rape or Major Character Death, you can certainly give AO3 support a heads up about these fics. There's a reason those warnings are mandatory in the absence of 'Creator Chose Not To Use')

Some folks are just going to be 'antis' about everything, but some of us can stumble into fanpol behaviours when we're shocked by content we didn't expect to find shocking, and we immediately look for somewhere to blame our unexpected shock and discomfort. If the first place you go is into the author's comments or inbox with that blame (or an attempt to shame, ridicule, or mock) that's fancop behaviour.

I think it's worth noting that there's a grey area where many folks have engaged with fanpolice / fanpol / fancop / anti style behaviour while still generally being very supportive of philosophies like 'don't like / don't read' etc. and not realising that these philosophies still apply to you even if you have an extremely strong emotional reaction to something you didn't expect to.

Many of us are going to also experience this, or have in the past. If we like surfing certain tags, if we've read enough DD:DNR fics 'safely' it might not occur to us that other authors might have different ways of writing under those tags.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Certainly because I've done it myself, years ago now, and I've seen other folks who would consider themselves very supportive of all fanfiction do it, and you can sort of tell by the language they use. As soon as you see a: 'I wish I just knew that the author understood this was wrong irl :/ ' - and the fic is tagged for - there's something going on that's leading to fancop style thinking. Often it's to try and correct a sense of emotional injustice or betrayal, sometimes it's grounded in moral panic.

Folks who cling to fancop style behaviours believe that feeling their own strong emotion (particularly those of revulsion or disgust or fear) is an accurate compass re: identifying moral injustice, and then proceed to apply 'corrections' to those around them who have caused that revulsion, disgust, or fear. But imho, it's easy for everyone to feel a strong enough emotion that they might slip into fancop thinking or behaviours without realising, for say one particular fic, or one particular ship, without ever realising, because they're 'permissive the rest of the time.'

Anyway, just some barely coherent thoughts on the matter that I'm barely even resolving here. I miss using Tumblr to think about this stuff out loud, so here we are, lol.

#feelings yakuza #fancops #fuck the villain police #fanpolice #policing fandom #moral purity #moral purity wank #anti anti #it's normal to have strong reactions to certain emotions #but there's an area of responsibility that comes under #'i cannot know all the ways someone will use this tag' #'and reasonably speaking this is going to happen sometimes' #'and it's my responsibility to do damage control' #'i do not trust myself to leave a good faith comment to this author' #'i'm going to close the tab'

[fixateonthis]

I see a lot of asexual imposter syndrome on here. This is just a reminder that labels are DESCRIPTIVE and not PRESCRIPTIVE. In reality, language is imperfect and our words can only describe how we feel 80-90% of the way.

The following does NOT automatically invalidate your asexuality:

• having a diagnosis that affects your hormones, potentially causing low libido

• having any kind of sexual trauma that affects your ability to be comfortable in sexual situations

• masturbating or enjoying porn/erotica etc

• still having sex and even enjoying aspects of it

• having a physical limitation that makes sexual arousal difficult or impossible

• the list goes on tbh, these are just a few major ones.

At the end of the day, what's important is whether or not you WANT to have sex, whether you find someone sexually attractive and want to act on it, and whether you feel it is worth it. If you find comfort in the ace label and community, then that's amazing.

I am now 30 and have identified partially or wholly as asexual for the last 6 years at least. Hormonal imbalances run in my family, I have two invisible disabilities that sap my energy, I have religious and sexual trauma, I masturbate and sometimes read erotic fanfic, etc. At some point I've attempted to use each of these to describe my lack of interest in sex and convince myself I'm actually allosexual. I'm going to list my "interventions" and hopefully this will give some people some comfort. I've done the following:

• been to therapy addressing my religious and sexual traumas, deconstructed my religious upbringing

• started and stopped 3 different anti anxiety medications

• been married (religiously sanctioned sex)

• started and stopped two different kinds of hormonal birth control

• come out as bi, then lesbian, then nonbinary (each revelation ultimately doing nothing to "fix" my lack of sexual interest)

• dated men, women, and enbies (still no desire for sex).

• been treated for my disabilities to maintain a healthier lifestyle

• watched and read plenty of porn to peak my interest in others (it didn't)

• explored kink (makes sex easier but still not something I crave)

None of these "fixed" me (I'm not broken). My point is that after all of this, I would still rather play video games or watch a good TV show, or even just sit outside and drink coffee than have sex. It isn't even because I hate sex and the feeling of it, it's simply not a priority, or even in my list of top ten favorite things to do. Therefore I am asexual, and my gf is asexual, and we're happier in a partnership where we know our boundaries will be respected.

Stop beating yourselves up. Stop trying to poke holes in your identity. Just let yourselves FEEL how you FEEL. There are hundreds of shades of green, but green is still green, and ace is still ace. Go live your best life, and don't do anything you don't want to do.

#asexual #acespec #ace #grey ace #demisexual #aroace #lgbtqia #asexuality #aceflux #ace umbrella #invisible disability