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otakusheep15 · 2 years

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Twisted Wonderland Queer Hcs

Now that I’ve gotten a bit farther into the game, I wanted to make a more in-depth post about my sexuality/gender hcs for the Twst cast. These will basically be a combination of me actually analyzing the game and forming legitimate theories about the characters, as well as me just projecting onto my faves. Remember that this is a safe space, and that all headcanons for the characters are welcome. I don’t want to see any fighting over headcanons. This is all just for fun.

Heartslabyul

Riddle

Riddle is genderfluid, and would be okay with using any pronouns, including neos. Growing up, he was very sheltered and most likely had no way of properly expressing their identity without fear of punishment. When Riddle arrives at NRC, it’s the first time he’s ever truly able to express herself. Playing around with different pronouns and labels really helped Riddle come out of their shell, and taught them how to be more expressive in the process. As for attraction, she still hasn’t quite figured it out, but Riddle knows that he definitely likes men for sure.

Trey

Trey is a cisgender man who uses he/him pronouns, and he is pansexual. He just doesn’t understand why gender has to be such an important issue when it comes to attraction. Trey focuses strictly on personality, and has never once cared what gender someone is. As for his own gender, Trey has always felt comfortable with his identity as a man, but he certainly doesn’t mind being more feminine every now and then.

Cater

Cater is non-binary, and uses they/he pronouns, as well as neos. They are also bisexual demiromantic. Cater refuses to use she/her pronouns because it reminds them of their sisters and how they treated him growing up, but he’s fine with any others. I also feel like Cater is the type to sleep around a lot, but has a hard time developing actual romantic relationships. They’ve probably slept with a good portion of the student body, but they’ve never actually dated anyone before, and rarely has he had any crushes that weren’t strictly sexual.

Ace

Ace is a cisgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and he’s bi-curious. As we all know, he’s had a girlfriend before, so he knows he likes women. I don’t think Ace would have ever even thought about liking men until he starts going to NRC. There, he sees just how many of the students are queer, and he begins questioning his own attraction. Ace still hasn’t quite figured it out yet, but all of his friends are very supportive as he figures himself out.

Deuce

Deuce is a transgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and is queer. I honestly have no canon evidence to support why I think Deuce is trans, but I’m trans and I’ve decided he is too. He probably came out in middle school, back when he was still a delinquent. A major part of the fighting was because of transphobes making fun of him or bullying him over his identity. As for his sexuality, he’s never been one to put a label on it since no labels he’s seen really fit how he feels. For that reason, Deuce just says that he’s queer to make it easier on himself.

Savanaclaw

Leona

Leona is a cisgender man, and uses he/they pronouns. They are also unlabeled. Leona doesn’t care much for putting how he feels into words, so he just doesn’t bother with it. If they absolutely had to, they would say he’s on the aromantic and pansexual spectrums, but nothing more specific than that. Romantic attraction is something they’ve struggled with, and I don’t think he’s ever had a romantic crush on someone before. However, Leona really likes having sex, and he really doesn’t care what gender his partner is as long as they’re good in bed.

Ruggie

Ruggie is a demiboy, uses they/he pronouns, and they’re bisexual with a preference for women. They’re probably one of the few students at NRC who didn’t have a huge struggle with his gender or sexuality. Ruggie just kind of woke up one day, realized they liked using they/them pronouns, and that they liked multiple genders, and was chill with it. Having grown up in the Sunset Savana, Ruggie naturally developed an appreciation for women, and most of his crushes so far have been women or fem-aligned people. Maybe only one or two crushes have been for men, and they didn’t last very long.

Jack

Jack is a cisgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and he’s still questioning. To be honest, Jack has been questioning both his sexuality and gender, but he’s chosen to focus on one thing at a time. As far as he knows, he’s only really felt attraction to women, but there have been occasions where he might’ve felt the same way towards men. Right now, he’s not entirely sure, but he’s not super stressed over it at the moment. Jack is the type to just go with the flow and see what happens in this case. He’s certainly not opposed to having feelings for a man, he just doesn’t know if he ever has or ever will.

Octavinelle

Azul

Azul is a transgender demiboy who uses he/they pronouns, and he is demiromantic. Azul isn’t quite sure what label to put on their sexuality, but they know he likes boys for sure. And as for romance, Azul has a hard time finding that connection like most others around him. It’s not like he’s never experienced attraction before, he just never felt any strong romantic attractions to anyone. Gender was also a bit of a struggle for them for a while. Gender in the sea is different than on land, so Azul’s feelings on the matter only got more complicated as he started NRC. Eventually, he came to understand himself a bit more, but sometimes he stays up questioning if this is actually how he feels.

Jade

Jade is non-binary and uses they/them pronouns, and they are unlabeled. They have never really been one to put labels on their sexuality. To them, it just isn’t necessary to do so. However, Jade does find some comfort in putting a label to their gender identity. It just makes them feel more comfortable. As for sexuality, they just kind of like whoever they like, and that’s that. They also experience attraction differently depending on the person, so it’s hard for them to label exactly how they feel. Overall, Jade is pretty chill and just kind of goes with the flow.

Floyd

Floyd is a demiboy and uses he/they pronouns, as well as neos, and they are bisexual with a preference for men. Out of the three Octavinelle students, Floyd is the most expressive when it comes to his sexual and gender identity. They’re never one to hide who they are, and he’s very openly proud. He’s also the one most obsessed with labels. Floyd is someone who, I imagine, likes putting words to things because it helps them explain how they feel more easily.

Scarabia

Kalim

Kalim is a cisgender man who uses he/him pronouns, and he is omisexual. He’s always been comfortable with the gender he was assigned at birth, but Kalim is fine with presenting more femininely. If anything, he actually likes to embrace his feminine side every once in a while. As for his sexuality, he’s always known he was attracted to multiple genders, but he usually experiences his attraction in different ways. The ways Kalim experiences a crush on a man is different than crushes on women, and both are different than his crushes on those outside of the binary. Kalim is also very expressive about his identity, and he’s not one to shy away or hide it at all.

Jamil

Jamil is a transgender man, uses he/they pronouns, and is on the aroace spectrum. They’re not exactly sure if they are fully aroace or just on the spectrum somewhere, but he knows he’s never really experienced romantic or sexual attraction before, nor have they ever had the desire for either. Now, Jamil is certainly open to the idea for both if he ever meets someone he develops feelings for, but they doubt the day will ever come around. Not to mention, his top priority is his work, and they’d much rather focus on that for the time being.

Pomefiore

Vil

Vil is unlabeled, uses he/him or she/her pronouns, and is queer. He’s never been one for labels, and chooses to just do without them. Instead, Vil just focuses on how he feels in the moment since it changes day to day. Somedays, Vil feels more feminine and prefers she/her pronouns, but most days he connects more with he/him. Just like his gender, Vil feels very little need to label his sexuality. Some days he feels a stronger attraction to women, other days he much prefers men, and lots of days he prefers those outside of the spectrum. To Vil, there’s no point in labeling such complicated emotions, so he simply chooses not to, and he says as much whenever asked in interviews.

Rook

Rook is a cisgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and is pansexual. He’s never really been one to look at gender when experiencing attraction. As is very canon to Rook, he just looks for beauty, and anyone can fit that role for him. Rook is hardly shy when it comes to his feelings, and he’ll tell someone when he is attracted to them. In terms of his own gender, Rook feels very comfortable being a man, and he’s never once thought about being anything else.

Epel

Epel is a transgender man who uses he/him pronouns, and he is still questioning. Gender is something Epel has always struggled with growing up. Where he’s from, men are supposed to be big and strong, not small and weak like he is. His stature has always been a major point of dysphoria for him, and that’s why he’s so intent on becoming stronger. Epel is also insanely jealous of some of the other trans boys at NRC because they’re much more masc than he is. As for sexuality, Epel still hasn’t really figured it out. He’s never really felt attracted to anyone before, and he’s not super intent on trying to date anyways.

Ignihyde

Idia

Idia is unlabeled, uses they/them pronouns, as well as neos, and they’re demisexual. Idia has no intention on putting a label on their gender identity. All they know is they’re not comfortable with either of the binary options, and they feel much more at ease with they/them or any neo pronouns. And when it comes to attraction, they don’t experience much of it. Idia is much more focused on they’re fictional crushes to care much about irl crushes. Plus, sex has just never really been their thing. Yeah, they feel sexual attraction sometimes, but it’s hardly ever directed at a real person.

Ortho

Ortho is a bit of a special case, seeing as he’s a robot. If this were the real Ortho, he would have been a demiboy who used he/they pronouns, and he would’ve been bisexual. But, seeing as this is a robot version of Ortho, it’s a bit different. The version that Idia created will respond to any pronouns, including neos, and he wasn’t programmed to feel any sort of attraction, sexual or romantic. Because of this, you could say he’s unlabeled on all accounts.

Diasomnia

Malleus

Malleus is agender, uses they/them pronouns, and they’re queer. Having lived as long as they have, Malleus has had tons of time to explore various sexualities and gender identities. I feel like, depending on the time period, Malleus labels themself differently, and these are the labels they choose to use at this time. They don’t feel any major connection to gender as a whole, so finding the term agender really helped them put a label to how they felt. In a similar way, Malleus had a hard time putting a label on their sexuality, so they thought the term queer was a nice way to put it until they could really sort out their emotions a bit better.

Lilia

Lilia is unlabeled, uses any pronouns, and is aroace. By now, Lilia has seen and heard everything they need to. He’s dated and he’s had sex, and now they’re just kind of over it. Not to mention, Lilia sees everyone as a child, so it’d be a bit weird for her to try and date at all. That’s why they now identify as aroace, since it’s been quite some time since he’s felt any sort of attraction. As for gender, she’s decided that he’s fine with any and all pronouns, and will honestly respond to whatever someone calls her. Lilia is, however, particularly fond of she/her pronouns as of late.

Silver

Silver is a transgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and he’s still questioning. It was pretty obvious from a young age that Silver identified as a man, even if he couldn’t see it himself at the time. Lilia, however, was quick to pick up on it, and introduced him to the idea of being a boy. Now, Silver is basically fully transitioned, and he’s feels virtually no dysphoria. As for his sexuality, Silver still hasn’t quite figured it out, but he’s not too concerned over it. He knows that he’ll figure it out eventually, and he can always ask Lilia or Malleus for advice if need be.

Sebek

Sebek is a cisgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and is bisexual. He knew pretty much right away that he was attracted to multiple genders, and he embraced it pretty early on. It was mostly thanks to Lilia and Malleus being so supportive and understanding. Sebek is not one to hide away, and will loudly call anyone out for disrespecting his identity. In terms of gender, Sebek feels relatively comfortable as a man, and he has no intention of changing that aspect of himself. However, he’s still more than willing to be a bit more feminine if asked.

A couple of other random facts I should mention. I hc all of the boys as polyamory, or they’re at least open to the idea. Also, I do have my own hcs about relationships between the characters, but I’ll probably make that into a seperate post if anyone’s interested.

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decolonize-the-left · 2 years

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This isn’t some conservative trying to get on ur nerves. I’m a socialist and absolutely supportive of the trans community, but I’m really confused about neo pronouns. It seems like it’s just an attention seeking version of being non-binary, what’s the deal with that? What’s the purpose? It’s can’t be euphoric to use xi/xer because that literally doesn’t mean anything

To be completely fair; neither do she/her or he/him or they/them. They're all just words we use to define ourselves. And ourself is the Only person with the right to determine who we are. It means something cuz the person using it has given it meaning.

For context, I'm a deeply autistic nonbinary person who Regularly struggles with the concept of gender to begin with. To give a very Basic rundown of that, I mean to me, personally, it's all just lines drawn in metaphorical sand. Some people wanna be feminine, masculine, both, neither. And that goes for Every sex in existence. Identifying in the experience where those things intersect is human nature. The Name you give that experience of identity is what we call gender.

And everyone wants their gender validated. They want to be perceived as the gender they are.... Because that's what they are. That's their experience.

So what happens when there aren't words for it? What if none of the words fit? What do you do? You still need and crave that some personhood and identity and validation as everyone else on earth.

You need it just as much as the he/hims and she/hers and they/thems.

You make your own, that's what you do.

So maybe it doesn't mean anything to you... But someone else's human experience isn't about you. It's about them and what those words mean to them.

I don't know who you are, anon, but chances are... I dont get your pronouns. I don't get why people choose to label a human experience and strictly regulate it. I don't GET the purpose of turning gender into a performance that has to be performed in specific ways just so other people will respect you and your self-determination. I don't GET why knowing/recognizing our genders outside of our needs as people even matters.

If someone wants a dick or to wear a skirt or makeup or be a football player, why should gender matter? It's just a human experience. Everyone has it. Everyone's relationship to gender is different. How they see themselves is different. How they choose to Perform their gender for validation from their peers is different (personal style).

You knowing your own gender should be enough. And people should be able to act any way they want without having it invalidated.

But alas. My feelings don't change reality.

And the reality is that none of it makes sense to me and that's okay.

it's not about me.

I very strongly believe people have a right to self determination. And that means supporting people even when I don't understand them.

Because THEY know what makes THEM happy.

That too, is a universal human experience, and who am I to tell you that what makes you happy is attention seeking? Who am I to tell anyone that what makes them "euphoric" is nonsensical and shouldn't make them happy? What gives me the right to define an undefinable human experience and enforce my beliefs on everyone else? To use that belief to restrict and judge the infinite experiences and relationships that humans are capable of having with gender?

Sometimes, the purpose of things are simple and with gender it ALWAYS is.

Respecting the pronouns and genders that people determine for themselves makes them happy.

And that should be enough. Why does there need to be more than that?

And also just a lil ps: Who cares if it's attention seeking? Maybe they like attention. So what? Why is that a crime worth invalidating and belittling them?

#asked #answered #neopronouns #gender

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ziracona · 3 years

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It’s come to my attention Frank Morrison is aromantic and he’s just too stupid to notice because he’s /very/ fem-leaning bisexual and Julie is super romantic and he enjoys making her happy

#I usually don’t spend much time trying to figure out my charcaters’ sexualities if they don’t just bring it up or it doesn’t come up #and just assume every character I write is either asexual or bi or pansexual until explicitly proven otherwise bc that’s the case mostly #but I was thinking about aros and I was like ‘wait shit Frank u aro?’ and he was like ‘What??? what are you saying?’#but his general feeling towards romancise is ‘its fine’ and he really just craves closeness in any form #so he’s at least greyro to full on aromantic just he doesn’t mind diving into romantic action because it’s a form of closeness and he’s not #got a /problem/ with it. just not something he craves. Frank just craves love and belonging and stability period.#You want romance? ‘I want girlfriend.’ So romance? ‘????? Girlfriend. permanent girlfriend. reliable. loved me.’ Romantically?#‘yeah I guess! that’s the form that comes in right? Sure then. Want forever partner.’#Jeff: Aro who knows he’s aro. Claudette: Ace who knows she’s ace. Frank: Aro with no clue he’s aro. Quentin and Laurie: Ace with no clue #they’re ace #Jake: disaster Bi with a heavy preference for men. Meg: disaster Bi with a heavy preference for ladies. Dwight: disaster and Bi but not #‘disaster bi’. No preferences. (except Jake specifically). Nea and Feng: Lesbians. Philip and Vigo: Gay. Susie: Lesbian. Julie: token #straight but she’s at least a one on the Kinsey scale and just won’t admit it yet. Alex: power Bi. Benedict: token straight on thin ice (jk #I love him). Adam idk bc I ask & he just goes ‘wouldnt u like to know weather boy’ but silent when asked if Aro so aro or greyro? best guess #Ace: pan as shit. Tapp: probably not straight but prefers women or thinks he does. too tired to have thought much abt it but you bet Meg wil #talk his ear off and he will think abt it someday. Quentin: biromantic bisensual Ace boy. Claudette: Panromantic Ace girl #Sally: omnisexual but doesn’t realize it. Anna: bi but the slider is like at 80 for ladies and only 20 for men. it’s like ‘Ew no men allowed #in the sex drive.’ * one or two men she likes already are super nice to her * ‘Ok two men allowed’#Adiris: pansexual but biromantic w a preference for men #or anyone who doesn’t fit very strictly into the gender binary #Laurie: asexual heteromantic who has no idea she’s ace because she just assumed everyone lives like this and she’s not repulsed or anything #Kate: would say het then change her mind and say Bi just w a strong preference for men.#David: Omnisexual and full of affection and kindness #hcs #I need a better tag so I can find my own stuff again lol #ILm headcanons #wait this is my story do I tag it lore??? info? it’s just canon not hc so #ILM info #I DELTED SOME NO. Jane: tired ‘idk fuckkkin omnisexual whatever LGBT. just not /only/ men or women. all gender hot. but not all people >.>’#Joey: probably Pan? something under the Bi umbrella he doesn’t know he’s as confused as you are. Nancy H is panro pansensual ace

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noraleedoes · 2 years

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A Day For Nonbinary Vs

I’ve been having some conflicting feelings as of late about whether I wanted to participate in Fem V Fridays with my V, Arla, because while she uses she/her and the frame on the right side of the CC, the one we generally label female, I don’t write/hc her as identifying as female, or femme, or as a woman, a girl, what have you. And I know I’m not the only one that must be sitting out here having these feelings; the cyberpunk fandom as I have encountered it has been very LGBT+ friendly, or at least LGBT+ dense, and so I am sure that there are other nonbinary players (and thoughtful other players) out there facing similar thoughts about their nonbinary Vs and Cyberpunk 2077 OCs. I floated the idea of a day for nonbinary Vs recently, and it seemed to be well-received among the few folks involved in the conversation, so I want to maybe gather some thoughts and build some hype here!

The Proposal

To avoid timezone encroachments and stepping on any toes, the proposed day is Wednesdays. I know there’s not a lot of fun, appropriate alliteration to be done with Wednesdays, and so if we want a cute/catchy name, I’m offering up the (admittedly dorky :p) “Nonbinary V ‘Nesdays” - credit to @bubble-bones for that one 💜. The hashtag could be #nbvnesdays .

Who’s Included?

Realistically, anyone who wants to be :p; it’s not like this sort of thing is in any way policed or controlled, and IMO it shouldn’t be. Participate if it feels right. The intention is for this to be a day for Vs and Cyberpunk 2077 OCs that don’t quite feel right to post on either Male V Monday or Fem V Friday and/or Vs and OCs that fall outside of the binary in some or any way. Generally I’m thinking of Vs and OCs that are nonbinary, genderfluid, genderflux, agender, demigirl or demiboy, bigender, genderqueer, cultural gender identities outside of the understanding/construction of the binary, and/or any other gender identity that I’ve missed here but which falls outside the bounds of the strictly binary genders of ‘man/male’ or ‘woman/female’. It doesn’t matter your V/OC’s visual presentation/fashion, just what you consider/hc their gender identity to be.

“But You’re Welcome To Post On-”

I 100% understand that nonbinary Vs and OCs are welcome and included in the existing posting days/schedule, and I am not in any way suggesting that Male V Monday or Fem V Friday are intended to exclude trans or nonbinary characters. I appreciate that we have such a neat and varied community, and that this is the case. I am also not suggesting that anyone comfortably posting nonbinary Vs/OCs on those days should feel any pressure to move to Wednesdays. However, as a nonbinary player, shoving my beloved nonbinary V into the day that fits what she is largely perceived as (Fem V Friday) feels, for me, uncomfortably close to the way that I will likely be misgendered for the rest of my existence. I want to put this suggestion out there so that anyone that feels similarly can have a media sharing day where they feel comfortable sharing their character. That is all. 👍

Much love to you all; I look forward to hearing from folks and (hopefully) seeing some awesome nonbinary Vs shared on Wednesday!

#cyberpunk 2077 #v cyberpunk #cp2077 #cbp2077 #cyberpunk 2077 photomode #nonbinary v #cyberpunk 2077 v #nldoescontent #if you're into the idea please reblog so that it'll have decent reach <3

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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Hi Clyde! I know this might be a bit late to the conversation but I just wanted to ask if you think M&K are writing Yang through a male lens? Not in the sense she's hyper-sexualised, but in the sense she lashes out at her allies without consequences (Fiona), has little empathy for female survivors of abuse (Salem and Blake) and gives her loved ones the cold shoulder when she doesn't agree with them rather than trying to reach an understanding (Blake and Ren).

Hi there, anon! No one is ever late to the conversation around here, not when I'm forever answering months-old asks lol

On the whole I would say no, simply because - as many others have pointed out in regards to other posts - this behavior is by no means seen solely in Yang. Ruby is out there lashing out in Volume 6, Jaune was giving Ren the same cold shoulder, no one else has expressed any empathy for the abuse survivors lately (though Yang might actually have a point in her favor there, given her talk with Weiss in Volume 5, when she learns about her mom's drinking). My point being, pretty much everyone is written with this classic masculine lens right now, where being angry, violent, and dismissive are framed as the correct way to approach problems, whether we're talking about Weiss shoving her weapon in Whitley's face, or Nora coolly brushing aside Ren's concerns. The exceptions being, to my mind, Ren - who learned this season that considering a kinder, more strategic approach is wrong - and Oscar who is embodying the archetype of the innocent child so fully that it allows him to forgive/grant absolution outside of the bounds of the story's internal logic and gendered expectations. Him reaching out to Hazel, Emerald, and even Ozpin is less a commentary on gender and more an extreme upholding of his status as the youngest and, comparatively, most innocent (which, as said previously, bumps up against Ruby's same, former status). Think Harry Potter, destroying evil with the love in his skin as an 11yo by merely touching Quirrel's face, not an older teenager hurling a dark curse at Malfoy while overflowing with rage. Oscar is still very much in that initial stage of being the young, baby-faced character who is not yet jaded and is thus able to overcome evil purely by wishing it so. Yet everyone else, including Yang, gets by on lies, secrets, violence, and anger - no matter how much the story wants to dress it up as heroics. So Yang is by no means alone in that.

What does interest me regarding Yang characterization right now is not, strictly speaking, about Yang. Rather, it’s about the presumed relationship with Blake and how changes to Blake’s character have reflected back on Yang. I won’t go into a full, eight season analysis of it here, but suffice to say, Blake’s personality has taken a sharp dive lately, most notably in the most recent volume. She used to be an opinionated, outspoken woman, the kind of person who marched up to Weiss in the middle of the street to denounce her family’s slavery, fighting for her people with as much intensity in a conversation as she gave on the battlefield. This is the woman who stormed off in anger at Weiss’ racism, demanded a solemn oath from Yang if she was going to believe her about the Mercury fight, rallied an army to defend Haven, set her own house on fire to defend her parents... I could go on. Blake used to only be quiet when it came to settling down with a good book. Now she’s far more meek and submissive. She’s been reduced to blushing prettily at Yang’s praise, begging Ruby to save her, going along with Yang’s plans for betrayal because she’s scared about killing again, clasping Ruby’s hands to assure her that she’ll save them all, etc. I use the term “reduced” intentionally because, on their own, there’s nothing wrong with any of these traits. If anything, Blake should be a more well-rounded character for being able to collapse crying over Adam, or go tongue-tied at a compliment. The problem lies in replacing her original personality with this new one: softer, less confrontational, less skilled, no longer as determined, no longer as angry, keeping to the background to play at comic relief or the damsel in distress. I bring all this up because - within the comparatively slim queer rep we’ve gotten in media - there’s a long history of writing them so that one is clearly the “man” in the relationship and the other is clearly the “woman.” This extends from visual markers like dividing them between assumed masculine and feminine clothing preferences - who wears dresses and who can pass for a boy in a baseball hat and sweats? - to caching in on equally assumed personality traits - who is the calm and compassionate individual; who has the temper and is constantly itching for a fight? To use two examples, think of couples like Sapphire and Ruby, or Kurt and Blaine. One is a cool blue in flowy dresses, always working to be sensible, while the other is an angry red in a sensible shirt and pants, easily pissed off. One is practicing a version of Beyoncé's “Single Ladies” in a sequined leotard, framed as the lady, whereas the other sings “Teenage Dream” in a suit at the piano, a song meant to appeal to the teenage girls watching, no matter the character’s sexuality. I’m simplifying a LOT here, including the context for the times (Glee) and the ways in which this divide is sometimes flipped (Ruby and Sapphire’s wedding), but my point is that whether authors realize it or not, they often force their queer characters into the gender binary, even while they’re supposedly meant to be challenging those norms. Blake and Yang, to get to a long-winded point, are becoming a part of that trend, wherein the closer they get to becoming a canonical couple, the more classically feminized Blake becomes. That, in turn, positions Yang as the “man” of the relationship. Already embodying some of those assumptions with her tough personality and brawl fight style, Blake’s regression into someone in need of rescue, someone less likely to speak up, someone who is visually positioned as less confident and in need of emotional care (think of her drooped ears and inability to make eye contact in “Ultimatum)” only increases that reading, especially given arcs like Yang’s insistence that she doesn’t need anyone protecting her, morphing into her becoming Blake’s protector instead. Yes, the dialogue states that they protect each other, but we all know RWBY struggles to show what the characters claim. Scenes like Yang arriving on a badass motorcycle to fight the majority of the battle against Adam, ending with her cradling a sobbing Blake who promises to never leave her side, or confidently taking Blake’s cheek in hand to comfort her after their not-fight, a moment of confidence and (unneeded) forgiveness... this all speaks volumes of something RWBY doesn’t think is there. So I don’t believe it’s intentional and, as said, there are a lot of complexities to take into account here, but I nevertheless don’t think it’s a coincidence that we’ve lost so much of Blake’s original personality right around the time the show got more serious about their relationship. As a presumed queer couple, there’s an instinctual desire to figure out which is the “guy” and which is the “girl” in the relationship, with Yang being positioned as the former the more Blake changes to fit the latter.

#rwby #mymetas

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tundrainafrica · 3 years

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i really thought hange was non-binary bc the one who said hanges gender was up for interpretation was kodansha us but isayama asked for gender neutral pronouns right?

here!

I’m gonna answer all of the gender asks in one go because for one, I don’t think I wanna flood my own feed and my own tumblr with the same arguments.

I think a lot of the questions on Hange’s gender and the topic of gender and sexuality overall are kinda intertwined and I feel like for anyone who actually reads my stuff, it’s better understood as one big wall of text.

So I was wondering, is that song the absolute proof about hange's gender?

No. I think the interpretation of the song which people are using to prove that Hange’s nonbinary is very western centric. I actually did research around this song and knowing what I know about Japanese culture, I actually interpret the song as a way for Japanese people to break out from gender norms.

For people who are not aware, Japan is incredibly strict with gender norms. The LGBTQ community is not as progressive as it is in Western countries (I mean gay marriage isn’t completely legalized yet). And just looking at it from the stand point of gender roles and gender expectations, despite the progressive thinking, there are a lot of things Japanese men and women have to conform to just to be respected in everyday society. Because in Japan, the community has always been more important than the individual and it’s honestly the same for most asian countries as well.

A lot of the pressure of living in Japan, working with Japanese people is the pressure to conform and I’ve seen my friends do it through small things like getting bangs (because all Japanese women have bangs apparently), wearing make up when going out (because this is generally an accepted for all Japanese people) and always dressing your best because in that manner women are held to an incredibly high standard in Japan. And this goes similarly for men who are constantly pressured to be the breadwinner in the family. If your wife is making more than you, be ready to hear people talk. I know these expectations exist in a Western setting too but Japan is incredibly stiff as a society and this is one reason why, despite having numerous opportunities to moveto Japan myself, I am not at all entertaining that possibility. I have worked in a Japanese company and I hated it and moved to a western company right after six months. I have completely accepted the fact that there is no mobility career wise from a non-Japanese (and a woman at that) in Japanese society.

In conformity, hierarchies etc, Japan is its own monster. That’s why when songs like Jibunrashiku, Hitchcock (by Yorushika) or Shisoukan (by Yorushika) come out, for one it’s in Japanese so I wouldn’t approach the songs from an English and as a Japanese speaker and someone who is pretty familiar with Japanese culture, I can’t help interpret that song as a social commentary for the shitty parts of Japanese society and how they tend to shoot the concept of an ‘individual’ down.

But does that mean I completely shoot down the idea that Hange is NB?

NO. Yams said so himself, Hange’s gender is unknown. But at the same time, Yams recognizes the fact that in the anime and in the live action, Hange is a female. If Yams were that adamant to make Hange NB, I think he would have at least made more of an effort to police how she is depicted in the anime and in the live action.

His exact words were:　「ハンジは彼（彼女）みたいな、ちょっと浮世離れした、枠にとらわれない自由な感じで描きたかったんです。」If I roughly translated it to English, “I wanted to draw Hange as someone otherworldly, free from the confines of gender.”

Tbh, I wanted to avoid these gender asks altogether but I’ve seen the environment in twitter and the ways many people approach gender, particularly ‘nonbinary’ or genderfluid and it really just doesn’t sit well with me. For one, what’s up with all these rules on how to approach our nonbinary and LGBTQ friends? What’s up with all these accusations that if we don’t follow them to a T, then we’re suddenly transphobic or homophobic?

The fact that we’re creating all these rules on how to go about her nonbinary gender for one, just defeats the whole purpose of Hange being a free bird in the first place who wouldn’t have cared and who wouldnt’ ever have been confined to gender in the first place.

I mean the establishment of set rules and social norms on how to navigate gender, sex, sexuality and gender roles is the reason why we had heternormativity in the first place. And what I can see, yes, we did get progressive, we did start recognizing other genders, other ways of thinking but the danger in all this is that, we’re once again creating frameworks and norms about how people that identify as these genders are supposed to act. And this defeats the whole purpose of why we recognized concepts of other sexualities, other genders and breaks from gender roles in the first place.

We wanted to show these people that their feelings are valid, that the way they’re navigating their relationships and their identities are valid and the heternormative society we’ve lived in that has been condemning for so long, was flawed, was wrong.

But the thing is, with the establishment of all these social norms on how to navigate our relationships with LGBTQ people and how to navigate our own gender, sexuality, sex and role is just making us regress back to that shitty heteronormative society of a hundred years ago. Because suddenly, everyone is questioning once again ‘How am I supposed to be feeling if I’m nb?” “How am I supposed to be feeling if I’m trans?” “How am I supposed to be feeling if I’m LGBT?”

And we’re creating these abstract ideas of how exactly, being genderfluid is supposed to feel like. Am I really supposed to be going by ‘they?’ Am I supposed to be uncomfortable with CIS pronouns?

And If I don’t go through this process… If I don’t feel this way then maybe I’m not NB? Maybe I’m not Trans? Maybe I’m not LGBT? And if I don’t conform to this clear cut idea of what NB is which people set up for me, god forbid I might just be transphobic or homophobic.

And Here’s the thing, everyone’s journey to self discovery is unique and there is no exact way to go about your gender or identity. I find it terrifying actually that creating all these clear cut rules have built misconceptions in so many people already on what they are supposed to feel like when they decide to identify with a certain gender which is no different from long ago when people had to hide the fact that they liked people of the same gender because god forbid they might just be persecuted for being gay.

Creating these frameworks, these incredibly strict rules on how someone is supposed to navigate relationships with LGBTs and their own personal identities is only making it all the more dangerous for people who are in the process of discovering themselves.

Back in college, I used to accompany a friend to a clinic when he was starting HRT treatments and before he started them, he had to consult with a doctor and the consultation lasted months. Before all that, they gave him a checklist of ‘feelings,’ which if he does experience them, he checks it and if he does check enough of them and agrees with a huge chunk of them, then he might have gender dysphoria and maybe the HRT treatments and sex reassignment was for him. It was a hundred item checklist, pages full of waivers, warnings and questions about his own experiences with his gender identity. And the fact that he had to consult for months after on that? There must be a reason.

Maybe because the academe realizes, maybe because those adept on the field on gender realize that gender is too complex of a subject to have been boxed into these categories in the first place.

And this whole discourse or I wouldn’t say discourse more of like, this ‘pushing of agendas’ as to say, ‘this is how being gender fluid or non binary is supposed to feel like’ this is how being transgender is supposed to feel like and if you don’t fit it to a T then you’re not transgender or you’re not nb. Or if you don’t fit it all, maybe you’re just transphobic is dangerous for many reasons. Either it gatekeeps people who want to explore their gender further. Or it forces people to have to conform to these and force themselves to ‘feel’ all of these things in the first place.

And god, this is just the gender issue, I haven’t even explored the sexuality, gender roles or biological issue.

i mean pronouns are important but they don’t really reflect someone’s gender??? like there’s people who use he/they, she/they or all pronouns(? they just don’t conform to gender binary ahaha

Given the environment on twitter and having witnessed the bullying first hand that came with one writer who is active on twitter using she/her pronouns for Hange, I feel like my own writing and my own POV on how I go about my writing and how I approach the gender of Hange (since I strictly use she/her) might just be a ticking time bomb and I might find myself at the end of whatever hate war or ‘education’ or as I like to just refer to as bullying, one day.

I believe though I at least have enough knowledge and awareness of the LGBTQ situation and I think I did put a lot of thought already into this before I made my decision to use ‘she’ to refer to Hange.

(And tbh, you can be nonbinary and you can be female at the same time and I’ve written about that multiple times already BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT EVEN IN THE SAME CATEGORY. And creating this mutual exclusivity between being nonbinary and female just kinda invalidates a lot of those people who are still deciding where exactly they fall in this complex web of identity discovery)

As someone who generally mainly hangs out with LGBT people and i have been doing this since high school by the way, and as someone who has tried all the sexualities on the spectrum, I talked to my asexual friends about possibly being asexual, I have experimented with women and sometimes, I just had dry spells and it just so happened that in the end of all these, I fell in love with a guy but I really believe that gender is such a flexible thing and even though I am with aguy right now, I still simp over lesbians, gays, ciswomen, transgenders because simping isn’t about gender.

And these set of rules on how to navigate genders is just invalidating the experiences of people who are flitting in between the two identities and it just hinders the process of self discovery for a lot of people.

Anyway, the point is, there is only one statement I found fundamental when approaching my relationships with the LGBT community and my own perspective on my self identity.

Recognition of someone’s feelings and their journey to a gender identity and the pronouns that come with it are important.

Then someone might go “THEN WHY DON’T YOU RESPECT HANGE’s NON BINARY PRONOUNS. Because just because someone is nonbinary doesn’t mean they automatically go for they. Just because someone is non-binary, doesn’t mean I have to use every single pronoun on the spectrum. The only one who can tell me what pronouns they want used on them is the person in question.

(I actually read an argument somewhere that going for ‘they’ just because someone is NB is transphobic lmfao. Assuming someone’s pronouns is apparently transphobic too lmfao.)

AND HANGE IS FICTIONAL. And we will never hear about which pronoun she would have wanted in the first place and I think the great ‘nontransphobic’ in-between is just letting people interpret characters how they want to interpret characters in this fictional world (And Hange can be both interpreted as nb and female). It’s the policing which makes the whole process of self discovery, the process of navigating genders all the more difficult for a lot of people.

And policing how exactly people should navigate gender and sexuality is just gatekeeping. Hange is everyone’s character. The only gender and sexuality identity people have complete jurisdiction on, is their own. And this policing of what exactly certain journeys to discovery are supposed to feel like is inherently harmful for those who are still in the process of deciding for themselves where they stand.

And going back to what Yams said “I wanted to draw Hange as someone otherworldly, free from the confines of gender/sexuality/gender roles.” I agree with that.

Because even though I do use ‘she’ with Hange, I do not firmly believe that Hange is a cisgender heterosexual female either. I just believe there are so many more layers to her whole identity and I believe similarly for every single person. Just concluding for one’s self that Hange is nonbinary with a very narrow minded view of what non binary just generally defeats the whole purpose of being ‘free from the confines of gender’ and hinders a lot of discourse and analysis on Hange’s identity over all.

I mean, I don’t know if people agree with this but in the decades I have spent with my close friends figuring out their gender identities, changing pronouns, transitioning, coming out to their parents, here is one thing I noticed. They weren’t asking for a celebration of their gender or sexuality, they weren’t asking for all these policing on how people should approach them. All they wanted was for their feelings to be validated, normalized as an everyday occurrence. I think the point of all these LGBTQ discourse (and by extension race and sex discourse) were all there to just make all these different identities normalized and to completely eradicate the concept of a negative bias or an other which was generally plaguing society for a long time.

And as their friends, I have never approached them as this champion who would make sure EVERYONE RESPECTED THEM IN THAT WAY IN TWITTER THEY BELIEVE LGBTQ PEOPLE SHOULD BE RESPECTED. All these nonverbal rules I have set up for myself on how to go about being friends with them is because I wanted them to be happy and comfortable in their shoes. And what were the types of things they appreciated? Me hiding it from their parents until they were ready to come out, me helping make their relationship work with their partner, me respecting the pronouns they requested for themselves, me accompanying them to HRT when their parents refused.

And you know what, that was only a facet of our friendships. My friends’ gender identities and sexualities never dominated discourse. None of them were the ‘token gay friend,’ the ‘token lesbian friend’ or the ‘token asexual friend’ or the ‘token NB friend.’ They were all people I genuinely care about who just happened to have fallen in love with someone of the same gender. They were just people who just happened to be uncomfortable with their original sex. But I would never just describe them as just that. My friend who just so happens to identify as assexual makes a great companion on a night out drinking. My friend who just so happens to be trasngender is really great with logistics and planning and was super helpful and I was eternally grateful when we worked together on that one project. My friend who just happens to be a lesbian has the cutest picture of her girlfreind on her phone screen.

I will memorize their favorite orders, what makes them tick, what makes them such a great companion, their talents, capabilities more than I will remember their gender. And that’s the characetr song in question is called “Jibunrashiku” or in English “just like me.” Because in the end a strict society which creates all these maxims of what exactly people of a certain gender should act would of course birth songs like “Just like me” A society which puts so much emphasis on gender and sex as an identity instead of other things like personality, preferences, skills etc.

And I don’t know if it applies to everyone. But my friends appreciate it because this journey to whatever gender identity they chose wasn’t rooted in some sort of strict framework on how they should be treated according to twitter. It was rooted in their own experiences and how these experiences made them feel.

Do they feel weird in a woman’s body? Do they just don’t feel any romantic attraction to the opposite gender?

Just treat them as how you would treat anyone else you respect. Just be a decent person. Just be a good friend.

Respect their requests for their own personal pronouns. If they need help, help them to the best of your abilities.

And here’s the thing, the approach I use with navigating identities, sexuaities genders are rooted in one very simple concept which can be applied to the race discourse, the feminist discourse etc etc.

Don’t be an ass. Respect people. Don’t reduce people to one facet of their identity. And by extension, when faced with such a dubious situation, think, discern for yourself what’s right or wrong. When there are people educating you, policing you on what is right or wrong, process that information objectively.

All I have here right now is my own opinions on the gender discourse on Hange and my own opinions on the discourse overall.

If you don’t agree with it, then have a nice day and I hope you find something else that will convince you to be more openminded but...

UTANG NA LOOB HUWAG LANG KAYO MAMBULLY NG TAO POTA. MAGHANAP NALANG KAYO NG IBANG PWEDENG GAWIN SA BUHAY MO.

ANG DAMING NASASAKTAN ANG DAMING NATRATRAUMA ANG DAMING NAWAWALANG GANA MAGSULAT KASI DI KAYO NAG-IISIP. PURO TIRA LANG.

Okay thank you for listening. Do what you want with the information up there but I have said my piece.

#hange zoe #hanji zoe #commander hange #commander hanji #meta

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loganically · 2 years

Text

Content/Trigger Warnings: The following will contain brief descriptions of homophobia (mainly centered around NWLNW*1 characters and the fetishization of NMLNM*2 characters), coming out, and brief mentions of both male and female genitalia towards the end (for definition purposes). If homophobia and/or coming out is triggering to you, please do not read further.

NWLNW is an acronym for non-women loving non-women.

NMLNM is an acronym for non-men loving non-men.

As someone is is continuously watching cartoons (whether is be aimed towards a younger or older age group), I always notice something when it comes to LGBTQ+*1 representation (mostly with MLM*2 characters).

MLM characters are usually older (and usually dads). Examples of this include:

George and Lance, Bow’s fathers from She-Ra and the Princess of Power (2018 remake, Netflix original)

Harold and Howard McBride, Clyde McBride’s fathers from The Loud House (Nickelodeon)

Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland, officers in Gravity Falls (Disney, due to issues creator Alex Hirsch had with the company, he could only reveal this after the show ended in 2016)

However, WLW*3 characters are seen often throughout cartoons. (Adventure Time, Steven Universe, Rosalie, Star Verse the Forces of Evil, She-Ra and the Princess of Power, Gravity Falls*4, and The Owl House to name a few).

WLW is usually fetishized more than MLM (usually by heterosexual*5, cisgender*6 males). But, this post will not be centered around that. Instead, I wanted to take a look at a main character that is MLM and it’s (in my opinion), possibly that best gay character I have ever seen.

His name is Adam, he's from a show called "The Hollow," (2018) which is a cartoon and is directed towards a younger audience (about 8-12). Adam can defend himself and many people believe he had a crush on a girl named Mira. When she kissed him he reacts very awkwardly and extremely surprised (link).

In the second season, we get to see Adam’s room (see below).

In the background, there is an LGBTQ+ flag. It’s just there and that’s what makes it amazing. It’s not the very first thing you see. The first thing you see is Adam.

Adam also does come out and it’s not the plot of the show. (link)

When Adam does come out, it’s just calmly stated (”Dude, I’m gay.”) and responded with this from Kai: ”Oh! [chuckles] No one tells me anything.” Kai doesn’t care that his friend is gay, he’s more “annoyed“ that no one tells him anything. After a small conversation with Kai and Mira, the scene ends with Kai hugging his friends and saying, “I feel so close to you guys right now.“

This is exactly how you should write a gay character. Write them like it’s normal (because it is) and don’t make a big deal out of it (because it isn’t).

LGBTQ+ is an acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer. The plus sign stands for everyone else, from asexuals and aromantics to xenogenders.

MLM is an acronym for men loving men, which is similar to NMLNM but different as it implies that someone who identifies as a man loves other men. NMLNM is for anyone who does not identify as a woman and loves other non-women. MLM includes gay men, bisexual men, pansexual men, asexual men, polysexual men, omnisexual men, etc, etc...

WLW is an acronym for women loving women, which is similar to NWLNW but different as it implies that someone who identifies as a woman loves other women. NWLNW is for anyone who does not identify as a man and loves other non-men. WLW includes gay women, bisexual women, pansexual women, asexual women, polysexual women, omnisexual women, etc, etc...

Gravity falls does have a WLW character, named Wendy Corduroy. This was confirmed by the shows creator, which you can see here.

Heterosexual is another term for someone who is straight (a man strictly attracted to women and a woman strictly attracted to men)

Cisgender is a term for someone who identies with the sex they were assigned with at birth that fits into the gender binaries “male” and “female.” (If you were born with a vagina and breast and use she/her pronouns, you may be a cisgender woman. If you were born with a penis and use he/him pronouns, you may be a cisgender man.)

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thatheathen · 3 years

Note

Isn't it weird how you just....identify as oppressed? You make up some fake gender and then cry oppression when other people don't validate it because gender is meaningless?

I don't "identify" as oppressed. Never did. That's ridiculous. I'm white and not homeless, so I'm pretty privileged, but I still receive daily or weekly death threats from people online like you and worse, just for being trans. We trans folk receive systemic discrimination and hatred no matter how successful or well off we become. We exist deal with it.

I'm not crying that I'm oppressed, where is that located that I did this? I shed tears and express fears for OTHER trans people and trans youth who are living in dangerous situations or experience extreme discrimination for being trans not harming anyone. Black Queer folk are hated even more than any white LGBTQ person. And then there's the trans people in prison not being able to get the medical care they need.

Transwomen are being murdered monthly SOLEY for being trans and that of course doesn't alarm you, women being hunted down or killed by insecure lovers. I'm not selfish, I'm selfless. I have chronic depression and slowly learning to love myself more and more, but that's not a cry for help or wanting people to pity me yada-yada. I will go to literal war for transwomen and transmen. Fuck all the way off.

You have no right to deny our existence, like how I don't have a right to deny your existence. This doesn't mean you have to like us or support us. Really don't give a shit how you feel about trans people, it's your actions are what I care about and watch transphobes closely doing. You're free to be a transphobe and a bigot, just don't expect freedom from consequence. If you attack trans people in any way or help push anti-trans policies created by the GOP, then we're gonna have problems. There's no point in arguing with you people because you're always gonna find something to scream and outrage about.

Gender is a social construct to an extent, but more of a spectrum. Gender within our western civilization is strictly binary and it's forced upon people to fit in a specific (gender) role when in reality it's ALL is made up BY THAT CULTURE. So if people are imprisoned and shackled to the binary gender roles rejecting it and don't realize it's an indoctrination, they'll no doubt hate that gender construct and render it meaningless. So yeah, the basic western idea of gender is meaningless. Weird huh?

Gender (regardless of the era) is 100% constructed or fabricated by human beings like anything humans created. These are just basic understandings of life and reality we are still learning about; gender, biology, astrophysics, gravity, neurology etc. are not truisms or laws that can't be broken or improved upon. Science hasn't finished understanding our cosmos that's absurd and very arrogant to assume. We are not slaves to our biology we go against it all the time; hence our manipulation of nature to build cities and bombs - is that natural? Science isn't set in stone it's always evolving. All life evolves even the concepts of gender that get you so upset. You're obsessed with policing peoples gender expressions and that's kinda oppressive no? Or do you think oppression is only through state sanctioned violence and that if you see it you'll know it? Doubtful.

There's nothing you can do to stop LGBTQIAP+ people from expressing themselves and creating new gender concepts that don't go along with your outdated dominator culture constructs and behaviors lol! You're a slave to the old ideas you defend. Isn't that Weird?

Every civilization throughout history has had a myriad of different genders and were socially expectable. Weird huh?

Gender Critical Cults are a tiny hate group along with TERF's and other fascist hate groups who tend to ally with conservatives to hate trans people together. The size of these anti-trans hate groups is puny compared to those who are trans and those who accept all LGBTQ folks, cisgender people showing their solidarity by putting pronouns in their bio's on social media or showing up to marches, pride, or protests. There's more of us than there is of people like you.

You're just a miserable bigot who hates queer people expressing themselves freely without much fucks given. Isn't that weird?

#fuck transphobes

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writeanapocalae · 4 years

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A Guide for Writing Trans People

Written by a Trans Man.

I’ve seen a lot of different posts on how to write trans characters (absolutely none on how to write cis characters and I am so lost on how to do that oh my goodness) but maybe I’ve got a different perspective and maybe I’ve got something you haven’t heard before. Let’s go!

Terminology

There are a lot of different genders out there, not just male and female. Some people think Trans men and women are some outside of the binary extra gender, which is very much not true. While many trans people do fall outside the binary, there are a lot who are strictly male or female. Therefore their genders are male and female. The trans part is not part of the word, it is a definer to state that the person is transitioning, that is all. So when you write trans man or trans woman the words are separate, not transman or transwoman.

A trans man is someone who is transitioning his appearance for society to view him as male.

A trans woman is someone who is transitioning her appearance for society to view her as female.

The reason I am wording it this way is because they were already their genders. They have always been their genders. Transitioning is greatly influenced by the way we are treated by society, the same way that beauty standards influence people to contour and get surgeries and whatnot.

Demi means mostly in terms of gender so a demi boy is someone who is male most of the time and a demi girl is someone who is female most of the time.

Agender is someone who has no gender

Genderfluid is someone who shifts from gender to gender

Genderqueer is someone who’s gender is nondefined by other terms

Two Spirit is a third gender that encapsulates masculinity and femininity (according to Wikipedia) that is only used by Native Americans

Third Gender is a gender that can encapsulate or be a completely different solid gender like male or female

Nonbinary is someone who is somewhere on the spectrum between genders and their gender is defined by them

Pangender is someone who has all genders

Androgyny is not something that actually relates to gender as much as it does presentation. Presentation does not inherently tell you someone’s gender. Being androgynous just means that someone fits right in the middle of societies expectations of male and female and their AGAB cannot be guessed by onlookers.

AGAB AFAB and AMAB mean Assigned Gender At Birth, Assigned Female At Birth, and Assigned Male At Birth. At birth someone will often assign a gender to a baby based on their genitals and parents tend to show off what sort of genitals their baby has with accessories and colors. Pretty creepy if you ask me.

FTM and MTF has been deemed problematic but many still use them. They mean Female to Male and Male to Female. The terminology states that the person’s AGAB is their initial gender and they are becoming the opposite when, as stated before, it’s more that they were always their gender and now society has to catch up.

Gender Nonconformity can be practiced by anyone regardless of gender. It just means that they do things that aren’t expected of someone of their gender like men wearing skirts (for some reason?) or women growing beards or a nonbinary person not being androgynous (for some reason that’s become an expectation)

Intersex is not a part of the trans umbrella, even though it is often lumped in and people who are intersex can also be trans. It is a sex (different from gender) in which different parts of genitals and chromosomes and hormones are produced in a way that deviates from the norm. Many intersex people undergo genital reconstruction or reduction surgery when they are infants (and can’t consent) in order to fit the mold better. Intersex people can be cis.

Cis just means that someone agrees with the people who assigned them a gender when they were a baby and how society treats them.

Slurs: Don’t use them. There are a lot. If you see it in a porn category you probably should stay away from it.

Pronouns

Pronouns are highly personal and can be a myriad of things so I will not be going over all of them. They do not always match presentation (a long haired man with breasts is still a man) and many people will use multiple sets of pronouns or fluctuate between them for what they feel most comfortable with.

Common pronouns are: they/them, he/him, she/her

Less common pronouns are: xi/xir, fae/faer, it/its, e/em, per/pers, ve/vir, zie/hir

Neopronouns: People make up pronouns all the time since they are personal and these new pronouns are just as valid as any others. Someone made up his and hers after all. When making neopronouns the main thing to be aware of is consistency. You want the different forms of conjugation to make sense and you want to spell them the same way every time.

Appearance

As has already been stated, there’s no correlation between gender presentation and gender and many trans people are unable to present the way they want to due to the economy, genetics, health, or community. Still, people do what they can to pass or feel comfortable in their body and these things need to be in mind during descriptions. People tend to think of the slight things that make people not pass are unattractive and will point out a woman’s 5 o’clock shadow or a man’s high pitched voice as flaws. These things do not necessarily need to be skipped over but they can be described in a way that doesn’t distract from the characters gender.

Try to stop thinking of an hourglass shape as an intrinsically feminine trait and height as an inherently masculine one. There are cis women with full beards and cis men with round jaws. Exploring different features, combining them, and seeing how they meld will give your characters more depth and help with differentiating them from one another. A good rule of thumb is, if you mention something that people don’t immediately clock as the characters gender, describe it as gender accurate.

Misgendering

This is another one that I would say don’t do but there are characters who the writers don’t always agree with. Misgendering is extremely harmful, puts trans people’s lives in danger, and can out them without their permission. The narrator should never misgender a character unless the character does not realize they are trans until the story is underway but this should be rare. The trans character would have no reason to ever misgender themself and may talk about how they presented in the past but will, most likely, still refer to themself with the correct gender. The POV character may misgender a trans character upon meeting them but after being corrected should fix their behavior unless you want your audience to dislike the POV character. Friends of the trans character should not misgender the character unless they are in a situation in which being correctly gendered would bring them harm, otherwise they’re not good friends. Family may misgender the trans character if they are not out or if the family members are terrible people.

Dysphoria/Euphoria

Dysphoria is when there’s a painful discrepancy between mind and body, like when someone knows they are one way but they don’t look the way they feel. Misgendering can be a large cause of dysphoria, as can hearing a recording of their voice, reflections, binding and tucking not hiding what the individual may want to hide, height, muscle structure, bone structure, etc.

Euphoria is the exact opposite of this. It is an extreme sensation of peace and joy in personal gender presentation. This can be caused by hormone replacement therapy, correct gendering, presenting in a way that feels natural, and acceptance.

Dysphoria is not necessary for being transgender.

Social Groups

Look around your friend group. Notice anything eerie? Notice how most of your friends are similar to you in a lot of ways, especially IRL friends? They’re people that you trust and expect to keep you safe while having a fun time with because you share interests and experiences with. Same for trans people. This is why, if you look at my friend group there’s 2 genderfluid, 1 agender, 1 nonbinary, 2 trans women, 1 trans man, and 1 cis man (who’s a cousin). If you have just 1 trans character in a group of friends it is going to read as a need for diversity points and that character is less likely to feel safe with discussing trans issues due to no one around them being able to relate.

Outing

This is one that a lot of people have a hard time with and even trans writers mess up a lot. We all know the infamous scene of someone walking in on a trans person changing and, hopefully, we know that this is not only cliche but actually harmful as it tends to lead to the idea of “lying” when it’s really just not anyone’s business and that trans bodies must be on display. I would say that you shouldn’t have to out your character because coming out is dangerous for real trans people in a lot of situations and it normalizes the idea that trans people must doxx themselves at any moment but due to the lack of representation and the nature of novels, you pretty much have to out your characters. No amount of subtext will be as beneficial to a trans reader as cementing the fact that there’s someone they can relate to in canon. Luckily outing a trans character is a lot easier than people think.

Some of us can’t shut up. A lot of trans people will hint at it a lot and just flat out say it if they’re in similar company. If we see people who we feel confident are also queer we often drop hints that we understand we’re safe, they can come to us (especially in a retail setting), because we want a community. The amount I bring up my masculinity is very very often, to the point I’m surprised people aren’t annoyed with me. I don’t pass very well so I wear a lot of brightly colored buttons that explicitly state my pronouns. There’s also this very strong urge to correct people who use gendered language for things that don’t need gender (like sexual organs and menstrual cycles). There’s nothing wrong with just saying that a character is trans.

Resources

The best thing you can do for your story is research. The trans people you know are not google and they do not deserve to be treated like google. You can use google. Here’s some stuff I found on google:

Dummies | Transequality | EverydayFeminism | Scriptlgbt

But no matter how much research you do it’s not going to be as useful as a sensitivity reader. Once your story is complete ask people to read it as beta readers and sensitivity readers and listen to the people that fit your minority characters.

Some musicians to check out for inspiration

I have to recommend music. I wouldn’t be myself if I didn’t.

Agender: Angel Haze | Mood Killer

Androgyne: Florian- Ayala Flora |

Genderneutral: Grimes |

Pandrogyne: Genesis P-orridge

Two Spirit: Tony Enos | Cris Derksen

#writing advice #transgender writing #queer writers #trans writeblr #trans writing

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mozambique-and-a-dream · 4 years

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Heteronormativity in Apex Legends

Tom made this tweet in response to someone, inquiring about heteronormativity in Apex. Having studied it in post secondary, I decided to write up a bit. I’m far to much of a coward to send it to him or put it on Twitter (twitter is very scary) but I was bullied into putting it on tumblr. I only dived into a few of the characters here cause it started getting really long

First let’s define heteronormativity to avoid confusion

Heteronormativity: is the belief that heterosexuality, predicated on the gender binary, is the norm or default sexual orientation. It assumes that sexual and marital relations are most fitting between people of opposite sex. Challenging heteronormative assumptions is not the same as challenging heterosexuality: the sexuality of heterosexual people is as valid as that of LGBTQ+ individuals. Rather, people seek to dismantle the belief that heterosexuality is the only natural sexuality and affirm the existence and rights of LGBTQ+ individuals as equally valid. Gender also plays into heteronormativity and the idea of enforcing gender roles.

I do realize many of these things may not have been intended in Apex but that doesn’t mean they are not present. I mean no hate of any sorts towards any of the creators or anyone who has different ideas, I am a big fan of the game and characters, and it is key to remember that heteronormativity is always around us so by pointing it out as asked, I am simply here to show that if you look under different, feminist lenses, you can find the heteronormativity, as you can in any media source if you look at the different ways a message can be interpreted by different people

Let’s begin shall we

Mirage

Specifically states he is interested in only women, nothing else. Gets anxious about it. While it could hint towards him being closeted, it still implies right off of the bat that straight relationships are the norm, only drugs brought him to his only non woman relationship (yes I’m referring to the pumpkin)

flirts with an AI robot simply because it sounds like a female.

only deemed useful to Loba because he is easily swayed by women

all of his lines where he revives Loba are direct jabs at stereotypical gender roles

Gibraltar

minor point here gotten from leaks (sorry). Confirmed gay character, has potential to be good rep but rather falls into the “sad gays” trope often seen in media ( not in a relationship because he can’t move past a previous one ).

Still better than the Bury Your Gays trope though so that’s cool

Loba (lots about gender roles here folks!)

Uses sex appeal to get what she wants. Works best on men. Her whole character is based around men’s interest in women.

despite being confirmed bisexual all of her flirting has been with men

• However at this point shall she flirt with women as well as a means to get what she wants, if written the wrong way, may appear to frame bisexuality in a poor way (making it seem like she’s only interested as a means of manipulation is harmful to the community)

Her design is tailored to men ( all her videos feature ass shots, camera focus on her cleavage and hips, not to mention within a week of her release searches for Loba and Apex Legends on porn websites skyrocketed, sights more commonly used by men )

She has many lines complaining about her outfit (“it’s a long way to the ring and I’m in pumps”) this makes it feel like she is being forced to wear these things (going into the belief that it is a woman’s job to look nice) rather than wearing them to look good, that she isn’t actually wearing the outfit for herself, rather for others / to fill gender roles

the game has a confirmed non-binary character that she does not acknowledge, refers to her teammates as “boys and girls” implying a heteronormative view that gender is strictly male or female. This point may not directly be Loba, rather writing, but the implications are there. Even though there was a bit of an explanation for this line, the fact that it is not in game still portrays the line as heterormative.

• This line differs than Gibraltar’s “bruddahs” as his is a general that refers to everyone, similar to how “dude” is considered almost gender neutral

Octane

literally being forced to go on a date with a women for intel. Granted, it does sound like he accidentally got himself a date

much of the fandom HCs Octane as gay or bi/pan as well as trans, so a ‘straight’ date (quotations around straight because if he goes on a date with a woman doesn’t mean he’s not bi or pan you biphobes ) feels slightly forced and therefore heteronormative (the wearing pants line is a cheap shot a gender roles, though it was funny)

#apex legends #long post #yall asked for it

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alethiometry · 4 years

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Could you do Deimos for the character ask? I'm curious about whether your opinions change if Kassandra or Alexios is Deimos!

sure thing! i’ve never actually played with alexios as the eagle bearer, which means i’ve never interacted with deimos!kassandra. so my knowledge of her is based solely on a few youtube clips and such. but i’ll try my best to cover the areas where i think they differ, as well as where they overlap!

How I feel about this character

i love them to pieces and can’t bring myself to get any ending in odyssey other than the “best” one where i can spare them and bring them home.

i don’t know how much this has to do with voice acting, and how much of it is due to Outdated Gender Stereotypes... but i always thought of deimos!kassandra as more scheming and conniving—she thinks she’s a brilliant strategist in addition to being a formidable warrior, sees herself as the equal or superior to the ghost of kosmos, even though she’s... not. deimos!alexios, on the other hand, i have always seen as a menacing bully who takes what he wants by sheer force alone, and doesn’t really bother with such trivial things as strategy or politics.

...so i do think deimos’ gender does affect the way i have characterized them in my head, which is... not great. but i also think it would make sense that, since they were raised in a binary-gender society which has strictly defined roles for men and women, deimos!kassandra would have been raised differently than deimos!alexios. kassandra may have had to compensate for/fight back against Good Old-Fashioned Ancient Greek Sexism by showing capabilities in different, non-physical ways. whereas alexios would have been forced to conform to male warrior archetypes that value physical strength above all else.

(athenian men, of course, put a lot of value in intellectual as well as physical prowess. but deimos was not raised in athens, so that doesn’t really apply. honestly, what little we know about their upbringing seems pretty similar to the spartan agoge, albeit with less teamwork and more narcissism.)

All the people I ship romantically with this character

my ships don’t change with deimos’ gender: i ship them with diona, harpalos, and sometimes aspasia. although i have to say that none of these ships are “romantic” per se—just varying degrees of Extremely Fucked Up And Exploitative/Abusive On Both Sides. honestly given deimos’ history of being abused and brainwashed, i don’t like to think about cult-based ships very much.

on a more positive note, i also ship both iterations of deimos with lykaon, the doctor in phokis whose grandmother was the pythia that was forced by the cult to condemn them. i always play the quest early on as the eagle bearer and i think it’s a nice companion to finding out about the cult of kosmos... but i also think it could be a very cathartic way to end a post-canon deimos’ journey to independence and self-actualization—they learn to empathize with and forgive the person who condemned them, and find healing and acceptance not only with their sibling and parents, but also with a cute doctor boy :)

My non-romantic OTP for this character

THEIR SIBLING OF COURSE.

i also like to think that a reformed deimos!kassandra might find solace in the daughters of artemis. she’s tired of dealing with people and politics, doesn’t really feel like she fits in anywhere, and turns to the daughters for community because they exist outside of the boundaries of “civilization” for the most part, and because they are fierce warriors who are unashamed of their outcast status. and, honestly, because i want her to have an animal companion (since the eagle bearer has ikaros).

My unpopular opinion about this character

they’re a lot more in control of their actions than the eagle bearer wants to think. i think they genuinely—especially kassandra!deimos, who generally just seems more sinister—enjoy violence and killing. if they do survive the final mount taygetos cutscene, they are a fugitive from pretty much every greek city-state, and they deserve it.

specifically regarding alexios!deimos, i think he would have still been just as bloodthirsty (if more able to manage his emotions/anger) if he’d grown up in sparta, given the agoge and krypteia training (which i don’t think is entirely accurate to irl sparta of the time BUT i’m basing this off the context of the game here rather than irl history).

finally, as much as i love having the siblings stick together after the main storyline wraps (i always have deimos as a lieutenant on my ship), i think it might also be nice if they parted ways on amicable terms. i want deimos to find the room to grow to be their own person, and i think the eagle bearer would be accomodating and understanding of that.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

i think it’s probably apparent by this point, but i ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE that deimos was killed off at the end of the novelization (ac wiki seems to have confirmed that the novel is the “true” canon). i love angst and melodrama and stories that explore grief and loss as much as anyone, but the abruptness of deimos’ death really blindsided me and upset me to a degree that i hadn’t anticipated. i would rather they have survived, and had to learn how to be an actual functioning person, and to live with the consequences of the things they’ve done.

also would have loved to see deimos interact with nikolaos in any meaningful capacity. awkward family dinner scene doesn’t count.

give me a character and i’ll take some very simple questions and turn each of them into a long rant that nobody asked for

#thank you for asking!#god i love deimos #ask games #hey gaymers #asked #assassin's creed #ac odyssey #deimos

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nudityandnerdery · 5 years

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Please explain non-binary genders to me in a manner that isn't over simplified... Everything I find is either from a terf bigoted bullshit perspective, or just kind of a vague love is love be a decent human being that does nothing for those of us who try to be decent even when we don't understand.

Okay. So. We need to start with two facts.

Fact the first:

Gender and sex aren’t the same thing. Your biological sex is pretty much controlled by your chromosomes and the development of your body. Now, looking at these in a binary fashion, i.e., people either are one or the other, is an inaccurate oversimplification of things. But that's a bit really why we're here. We're here about gender, which brings us to9

Fact the second:

Gender is a social construct. There’s no specific universal definition for what counts as masculine or feminine or any other gender in the world. That shit varies from culture to culture and from time to time. So anyone who tells you something along the lines of “This is what a Real Man does” or “This is what makes you a Woman” or anything in a similar vein? Look, they’re full of shit, they’re either pushing conservative rhetoric or radfem bullshit, which are really not nearly as far apart as either of the aforementioned groups wants to believe they are.

So! With those two facts in mind, here’s what we get with our current gender situation. White western christian-influenced culture, in which most of us are soaked, pushes the idea that there’s two genders- masculine and feminine, whatever synonyms of the roles you want to take up. They want to take those two roles, cast them as opposing roles, and split up various traits in life by what side they think they should belong to.

This is bullshit on multiple levels.

First of all, those traits are arbitrary. According to society, where do some things fall out? Physical strength is masculine, empathy is feminine. We see confidence as masculine while tact is feminine. And they get ridiculous, too. Wearing pants? Masculine, apparently. Crying? It’s feminine to acknowledge pain of any sore, I guess. There’s whole lists of this sort of thing if you look into it, but the fact is that western society spends a lot of energy reinforcing this idea.

Did I mention this is bullshit?

They’re arbitrary. They shift as time goes on- a hundred years ago, pink was a “stronger color” that fit boys better while blue was “delicate and dainty” and thus obviously a color for girls. Pants were previously only for men.

These fucking ridiculous norms are, then, entirely entirely subjective- and they are weaponized far, far too often by people who want to attack someone who’s not appropriately manly or lady-like for their taste. It was some standard bullshit that got thrown at the Obamas- making fun of Barack for not being Clint Eastwood macho, insulting Michelle as being too manly. (There’s also a fuck ton of racial weight to this specific instance here, too, and I’ll have to admit, I’m not a person qualified to do that justice. Do some research, there’s people who have addressed that aspect of it better than I have.)

So this means that forcing people into these standardized roles isn’t about helping them find self-confidence and who they are, they’re about ensuring obedience. They’re about punishing people for stepping out of line. They’re about reinforcing the strictures that our society wants us to have to spend energy adhering to, making sure that we’re more scared of being out of compliance with society’s expectations than we want to find the truth of the life we should be living.

(Every dude out there who’s blamed feminism because he was angry that his girlfriend didn’t need him to help carry a heavy box for him? Yeah, buddy. That’s you being suckered into thinking the cultural gender “norms” are more important than acknowledging that maybe your girlfriend doesn’t need you to lift boxes and fix leaky pipes, because it’s easier to get angry at feminism for that than to consider what else you can bring to a relationship other than simple mechanical abilities.)

Another reason they’re dumb? Because very, very, very few people are strictly one side of the register or another. Especially when those registers are politicized in their own way- negative gender stereotypes would tell us that traits of femininity make them gossipy, illogical drama queens, but then traits of masculinity make them territorial, egotists who act without thinking, and is there really much of a difference, or is there just something recursive about trying to describe similar traits in different ways to fit what you’re trying to argue?

And I’m not even qualified to get into the idea that a gender binary is a pretty specific idea. There’s other cultures out there that believe in more than just the two. But White western christian-influenced culture had pushed the idea that there’s men and there’s women and that’s all.

And it’s a pretty bullshit idea, at least to me.

Which. Well. I guess finally gets us to the point of your question here. And the answer is that while there’s all that standard, strict arguments of what counts as masculine and feminine up there? There’s also… everything else. Look, I’m not going to say that I have all the answers to everything. I’m not entirely joking when I say things like my gender identity is a vague handwaving motion. It’s something I’m trying to figure out. It’s not something that’s really got a straight answer to it. All I can give you right now is this.

Yeah, my body is pretty masculine looking. Got the beard, got a dick, got all that. But when it comes to all of those traits that are supposed to be masculine and that are supposed to be feminine?

I look at the masculine side of the register. A lot of that doesn’t fit me. A lot of that isn’t things I want to aspire to. There are things that do fit, but looking at them, do I feel there’s something inherently male about them? I don’t think so.

I look at the feminine side of the register. A lot of that doesn’t fit me. A lot of that isn’t things I want to aspire to. There are things that do fit, but looking at them, do I feel there’s something inherently female about them? I don’t think so.

And I think that means the only option I have left is to figure out what a third option is that fits me.

I don’t feel comfortable describing myself as masculine. I don’t feel comfortable describing myself as feminine. So. I have to figure out what I do feel comfortable describing myself as. For the time being, that’s genderqueer. It’s a work in progress, and it may never be something I figure out entirely, and I’m okay with that.

Acknowledging that I don’t know was, in and of itself, kind of a relief.

#genderqueer #nonbinary #did I mention that gendered traits are kind of bullshit?#thetalentedhack

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my-darling-boy · 5 years

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SO I’ve been getting people in my inbox asking me if I could explain the struggles of being trans. Obviously I’m willing to educate but there’s a LOT to unpack on understanding that, so to narrow it down, I’ll list things I or some trans people close to me have gone through to give you an idea of the difficulties. I obviously don’t speak for all trans people but as a trans man myself, I have Been Through Some Things

//Rape mention, self harm mention, suicide mention//

•When I came out at 14, I lost all my friends aside from one. I was bullied extensively behind my back. I was dragged to church by my friends who wanted to cleanse me of my “sin”

•I was the only out trans man in my entire school of 2000 students. I knew zero trans people. Everything I had to learn as a kid about being trans was done so entirely by myself. Additionally, the school’s Gay-Straight-Alliance Club kicked me out because I was a masculine trans man

•My parents lied and told me I had certain health concerns which would prohibit me from medically transitioning because they didn’t want me to do it

•I had zero support system. I almost attempted suicide at 14 and self harmed frequently from 13-18 years old

•Many trans people develop eating disorders; for a lot us, we feel we can avoid being misgendered if we look a certain way. It can be caused by depression or from a means of “controlling” something about ourselves when our lives are out of control; I developed anorexia at 16 and struggle every day with it still at 21

•I was constantly told by cis “friends” even cis LGBQ+ “friends” that I would never find anyone to love me because I was trans

•I should point out, I’m not trying to attack other cis LGBQ+ people, I’m trying to point out that injustices and bullying towards trans people happens WITHIN the LGBTQ+ community by cis members. As in, being gay doesn’t mean you’re immune to being a transphobe

•Starting at 14 when I came out, I was constantly asked about how I would have sex since I was trans by both adults and classmates

•I was preyed upon in high school by a guy who had a trans man fetish. The vast majority of trans people will experience a form of sexual abuse/harassment at least once from cis people. Trans people are sometimes seen by cis people as being part of a fetish or like a “sex toy”, thinking we’re just here for their disgusting kinks

•Kids in the hall would pass me at school and make comments like “is that a boy or a girl? *laugh*” or refer to me as an “it”

•There were so little resources for trans people where I lived that I became the trans man every trans person came to for advice meanwhile other cis members of the LGBTQ+ community had many friends to confide in. Trans people are often barred from being accepted into these cis LGBQ+ circles

•A trans man friend of mine, who was a minor at the time, was raped by an adult cis man in a men’s restroom minutes from where I lived. I refuse to use public restrooms due to this fact alone, no matter how cis I look when entering a men’s restroom

•In many places throughout the world, it is illegal to use the restroom of a different gender than you were originally assigned. Even just minding our own business and using the restroom is for some reason an issue among cis people. In one restroom I could be harassed and in the other, I could physically assaulted. Or arrested! Testosterone was the only way I could go into the men’s restroom without being preyed upon by cis men and even then, I have to wait for the place to be empty, even if it’s legal for me to be in there

•When visiting dangerous areas, I have to bind my chest for 12+ hours because I never enter a place where I can take the binder off. In a very conservative area that strictly prides itself in male/female cis people, trans people feel forced to make sure we LOOK either way or else we could be harassed/jumped, as there are places not far from me where non-binary/trans/trans-nb people will not venture to because it’s unsafe. It would be easy to hide I’m gay in a dangerous area, as I just don’t mention being gay, and you can’t inherently “see” as person is gay as it’s a sexual orientation. But in a dangerous area, if I say I’m a man and someone catches on to the fact I’m not a cis man, bad things could happen to me. (I’d like to add that the vast majority of trans hate crimes have been against black trans women and murders in general of trans people have skyrocketed in recent years. A vast majority of these hate crimes are committed by cis white men.)

•A lot of emphasis is put on cis appearances in the trans community, which isn’t always the product of just wanting to express yourself in ways that are traditionally cis. Sometimes we are put in certain situations where we unfortunately MUST look either strictly, stereotypically male/female in order to avoid harassment, and it’s completely anxiety inducing and/or degrading. Some trans people sometimes feel forced to transition to fit in, and a lot trans people are AFRAID to transition or dress without accordance to their original assigned gender because of how we are mistreated by cis people when we do so

•Touching on that, I have encountered people referred to as “transmeds” which are those trans men who think trans men must have gender dysphoria in order to be trans, or that you must want to medically transition to be trans; they commonly place stereotypical, often conservative and toxic, masculine requirements to be a trans man. Many trans men like myself speculate they are the reason why toxic masculinity still thrives like a disease among the trans community. Conservative ideals like this damage the trans community by asserting a trans person DOES look and act a certain way, which is an idea incidentally trans people strive to dismantle among cis people

•Since I’m a trans, gay man, not only can I be bullied by CISHET MEN but also CIS GAY MEN and additionally even other conservative TRANS MEN. If you’re a gay, bi, etc trans person within the LGBTQ+ community, you often face more types of discrimination than cis LGBQ+ people, especially if you are asexual on top of it all, like myself

•Trans people also often encounter terfs, cis “feminists” who believe trans women aren’t real women, and these individuals are found to confidently defend racist, N@zi, white supremacist, and other bigoted attitudes, so just..... gross people

•As a trans person, you’re sometimes made to feel as though you can’t be proud of yourself the same way you can be proud of being gay or lesbian. I’ve witnessed people praising someone for talking about being gay everyday while those SAME PEOPLE complained a trans person talking about being trans ONCE was “annoying” and just “ vying for attention”. Cis people, lgbq+ or not, are sometimes made so uncomfortable by trans people they think calling them annoying will silence them. It’s happened to me almost every single time I’ve tried to come out which is what ultimately led me to be ashamed of myself for many years

•Cis people can often be so unaccepting of our identity that they will intentionally not work on using our correct name/pronouns, withhold using the correct name/pronouns as a form of punishment, or go behind our backs and use the wrong pronouns/name because they don’t think it’s important. Cis people have the luxury of always having their name and pronouns as being a given, and those same people think we are so below them, they think they can choose when we do or do not deserve to be called what we should be called. Deadnaming/intentially misgendering a celebrity you don’t like or person you’re angry with is STILL transphobia

•Just recently, a cis manager outed me to my entire workplace as being trans. Outing someone as trans is VERY DANGEROUS. At the end of the day, you never know who that information could be passed to. Knowing that someone is trans is NEVER your decision to tell people, it’s their private information. If you out someone in a workplace environment, you can and mostly likely will lose your job. However inversely, it is still possible in some places to be fired solely for being trans. If I was in a bad part of my country, her outing me could have cost me my job. Every job I have held thus far has always ended with a cis manager not knowing how to keep their mouth shut about my gender.

Basically, trans people struggle everyday in a vast number of ways and the magnitude of their hardships often go unnoticed due to transphobes or uninformed cishet people trivialising or censoring trans voices. And these are just a FRACTION of things trans people have to deal with regularly. If you aren’t trans, you can’t claim to know what we’re going through. You can only listen to and be there for trans people, read their stories and experiences to be aware of their struggles and how you can make sure you aren’t creating an unsafe space for trans people.

~Terfs and transphobes do not interact~

#I’ll post another answering the people who were asking me what not to ask/say to a trans person #why does this sound so salty I’m sorry #I think it just reminded me of all the times I’ve been harrassed #or seen others get harrassed #lgbtq #transgender #trans #long post

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ilthit · 4 years

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I wanna say something to you young queer people who back-and-forth about labels and gender and keep finding yourself uncomfortable with what you previously chose. It is this: It’s entirely possible no label will fit perfectly. Maybe not even a long litany of labels. Because the boxes aren’t real. The only thing that’s real is your individual, authentic experience.

But! I know it’s tough, because part of choosing a queer identity is rejecting a set of cultural expectations that you may very legitimately fucking hate, and never identified with. That box is also fake. But it seems better to choose some other well-known and established box, just so people don’t ever think you’re in that other box. See: Bi people choosing to ID as gay so they don’t get seen as straight, or as straight so they don’t get seen as gay. Nonbinary people choosing one of the binary genders because it’s slightly more comfortable than the other and both are easier than being nonbinary in a world that’s so heavily binary-gendered. Or me, calling myself a bi woman, because what the fuck even is a demi-gynephilic-leaning-biromantic grey-a-bisexual (and that isn’t even strictly accurate but I don’t have anything better) female-presenting futch agender person who occasionally IDs as gay because that’s how life turned out, socially? What is that? More accurate but STILL inaccurate.

So it’s possible your label’s not gonna be perfect. That’s okay. You can either redefine what your label means to you and screw anyone who thinks different, or you can hand-wave and select one that works best as a social interface between you and the rest of the world. For me a lot of the time that’s actually gay woman, and I let people assume that’s what I am. Bi is for when I want to be more honest (and consistent). And the rest is nobody’s business and it’s not as if they really care either. It’s okay to let people misunderstand you a little. You don’t owe them the minutiae of who you are and how you work. You just gotta find a way to be at peace with it yourself, even if it doesn’t have a wholly accurate name.

#late night rant instead of working on my project #i #ii #iii #iv #queer #I am a grown-up

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fandom-star · 4 years

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Transgender Pride Month Challenge

So, I'm an admin on a trans meme/info account on Instagram, and one of the guys on there sent this to our chat, so I thought I'd do it on here.

1. My name is Elliott or Ell. I am asexual and bi/panromantic (both fit me so I use both) and I am a transmasculine non-binary person.

2. The only proper coming out I've had was with my mum. I don't feel like putting it here, it's somewhere on my blog. Most of the time I've either given my friends my Tumblr knowing they'd figure it out or I've just dropped a thousand hints in group chats! I dunno, I just prefer coming out like that with people I know will be okay with it.

3. I've probably always had an idea, at least since I was about 8, but after the age of 10 I kind of went into a fair bit of denial and threw myself into being a fangirl. I eventually realised I should look into it in May 2018, when I first identified as a demigirl.

4. I am not on hormones. It's probably something I'll look into doing maybe in my mid twenties for half a year, maybe a year, to get the extent of the effects that I want, but I don't think I'd stay on for much more than a year.

5. My support system is mostly my friends.

6. My chest, my deadname (mostly seeing it written), sometimes my voice, sometimes my height.

7. When I decided to change my name (July 2018 when I was exploring the possibility of being a trans guy) the one thing I knew was that I wanted to still be able to feasibly use the nickname Ell. So I basically looked around online for names with that sound in them. I ended up with about five or six and wrote down the pros and cons of them all. The only con on the name Elliott was that there was a guy in my form class with the same name (Elliot), whereas the others usually had about two. So I chose Elliott.

8. I haven't had much of a transition journey. I had my hair cut short in July 2018. Had my first irl coming out in September 2018 as non-binary to a friend who figured it out. July 2019 I changed my name. July and August 2019 I came out to my mum (if you followed me then you'll know what that story is and why it was over two months). November 2019 I went to a comic con with my friends which was my first time being openly non-binary in public, and I also bought my first pronoun badge there. Later in the month, my mum bought me a pronoun badge. December 2019 my best friend bought me my first binder. And some point before September 2020 I will have come out on my personal Instagram.

9. I don't think I have any regrets. I feel like I shouldn't have any, because everything I have done has brought me here, and I'm happy where I am. Maybe I regret backing out of coming out on Instagram last month, because I was gonna try coming out on 1st of July, but with everything happening I felt like it was a really inappropriate time.

10. My binder is a blue half tank from GC2B. His name is Robbie. I can't be bothered to take a photo!

11. My definite transition goals are to legally change my name and gender (but only when the UK legally recognises non-binary people, until then imma confuse people by having a masculine legal name but being legally recognised as female!) and have a chest reduction. As I said earlier, I'm definitely considering testosterone, but the two effects I definitely want from it are facial hair and a deeper voice, both of which I could probably achieve to an extent without the involvement of T. (I basically have the ability to grow a beard naturally, but I never have because mum's worried about me being bullied or whatever if it gets too much.)

14. I am single and have never been in a relationship. I know, I know, the shock and the horror of a 16 year old having never been in a relationship, but I'm permanently anxious about everything, and I don't develop crushes very often and the last two I've had have been on friends, one of which doesn't live near me and I've never met in person, so.... Yeah, and that means I can't really say whether people knowing I'm trans or not has had any difference in them being attracted to me.

15. Obviously, I'm not completely out right now, but when I do come out I will be quite open about it. There's no real way to be stealth as a non-binary person, so that's not really a possibility. Even on the trans masc side of things, I don't think I'd ever be able to be stealth nor do I really want to be. For one, my transition plans don't exactly allow for it particularly, but also, while being referred to as male is highly preferable to being referred to as female, if I can have control over it, I won't be seen as strictly either.

16. I think I stand with the majority when I say that the only concern I can think of around transitioning is transphobia. Especially with my classmates, because while some of them are amazing (hello the whole five of you here) there's a lot of casual transphobia and explicit mockery of non-binary people at my school. It's one of the reasons I really hope our pride group continues when I start back at Sixth Form in September, because I feel like we could do a lot to combat that.

17. I mean, I guess I basically went over fear of rejection in 16, but I guess I could extend on that by explaining why I don't really mention my dad in regards to all this. Basically, I haven't come out to him about anything regarding my queer identity. This isn't necessarily because of him being explicitly homophobic or transphobic (he's never said anything homophobic ever and seemingly supports my going to pride events), it's mostly because our relationship is somewhat distant. We don't have an awful lot to do with each other outside of sharing interests. And he tends to be averse to anything "new". So, yes, I fear that if I came out to my father about being non-binary he would react by either ignoring it or me or not believing me.

20. September 2016 vs Today, June 2020

21. Something I'm most proud of relating to being trans... ooh! Probably the time I went out for lunch with my mum and my granny (who is basically deaf) and being called "sir" and "young man" by two different waiters while mum went to the toilet. The reason that's such an amazing moment for me is because I was feeling extremely dysphoric about how long my hair was getting, so I wasn't even making any attempt to look at all masculine.

22. Things that make me euphoric are binding, people saying my name, listening to recordings of my voice (a lot of the time it sounds a lot more androgynous than I expect) and seeing photos of myself in cosplay.

23. Music. Very generic! Um... I have a Spotify playlist of songs to listen to when I feel dysphoric. Speaking of Spotify playlists, most of them are based on ships or characters. My username is seltudoor. I have a rather large record collection and an old record player/radio/cassette player that used to be my dad's that I think is from the 80s. Everything else you know! Classic rock, Sinatra and all that.

24. Freddie Mercury is the love of my life (HA!) and my role model. I have put into words why somewhere on my music blog, but I can't exactly remember. It goes a bit deeper than that he wasn't afraid to be true to himself. I also have an entire post about my trans role model Lou Sullivan that I made last June. In short, he was the first trans man to medically transition as an openly gay man who was also a badass, though I mainly say that because towards the end of his life (he died from AIDS complications) he wrote that, although the medical system didn't recognise him as a gay man, it seemed as though he was going to die like one.

25. Weirdest fact about me. Hmm... not sure I have any weird facts. My bookshelf organisation has two aspects to it that I don't think I've seen anyone else have. I group them by genre and order them by publication date from earliest to latest.

26. Things that cross my mind a lot. The fact that I should really be doing some writing instead of reading another fanfiction or watching another YouTube video that spoils most of Merlin for me. I don't know really.

27. You can win my heart by having a presence that makes me feel like I can happy stim in front of you whilst we watch something together, by accepting the fact that you will probably come second to my fandoms/obsessions a lot of the time, by allowing me to be touchy and clingy at random moments for often a long period of time, by not judging that I can't do "normal everyday things" and helping me with them and by being weird.

28. My mum, @maestrowave, @in3ffable-husbands, @fandom-0bsession and everyone else in my active group chats on Instagram, @britpop-bowie, @esperata and some other people.

29. I don't know what I'm most scared of.

30. I think I'm mostly happy. I have great friends, my education is probably headed in a direction that will allow me to progress into an industry I've wanted to work in since I was 9 and in two years' time I will hopefully be at uni and able to experiment with my transition without worrying about what my parents think.

#pride #pride month #pride 2020 #transgender #trans #non-binary #transgender challenge #about me #don't reblog #if you want to do the challenge just save the picture

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bigendering · 5 years

Text

On systems and plurality

With very few exceptions, I try to keep this blog strictly gender-focused, or at least mogai/pride focused: I don’t make posts about lots of other things that are important because that’s not what this blog is for. I am going to make an exception here, but I’ll also bring it back to gender at the end. It’s also a long post, so I’ll bold key points and have some tl;drs

Systems, specifically plural systems, refer to instances of multiple people residing in one body. “Fronting” refers to being in control of the body. Sometimes people cofront, and share control, or have one person perceiving and another person acting. Sometimes people have a complete memory barrier, and can’t remember what another person did when they were fronting. Some system members can communicate with each other, some can’t. Sometimes people can perceive what’s happening irl even if they’re not fronting. Sometimes people go “inworld” when they’re fronting, and inhabit a completely different mental space, which can be very complex. Sometimes people aren’t entirely separate - this is called a median system.

I, Kai, am a median (sub)system. Specifically, there are two, sometimes three people who operate this blog. Our names are Sapphire, barker, and protector. Sapphire and barker together make up Kai, who is both one person and two people - think Garnet from Steven Universe (actually where Sapphire got eir name). Probably no one’s noticed the tone shifts, but more goofy and casual posts are generally from barker, and most of the posts, especially more formal and intellectual ones (like this) are from Sapphire. Protector, as the name suggests, usually only comes out when things turn nasty. When he cofronts with Kai, we’re collectively called dragon, who is also a median subsystem, both three and two and one people - think a fusion of Garnet and Amethyst. There are a couple other, completely separate people in our system who don’t come on this blog.

Systems are sometimes created as a result of trauma, especially childhood trauma, but not always. The clinical explanation for traumagenic systems is that the mind can’t handle the trauma, and so either creates a new entity capable of handling it, creates a new entity that remembers the trauma so you don’t have to, or splits into multiple entities to take on these various roles. The various entities that may emerge and the roles they may fill are usually more complex than what I’ve stated, but you get the general idea. Some systems believe one or more of their members entered the system externally to help with the trauma, which is a just as valid hypothesis.

Some systems don’t form to handle trauma, and just happen naturally. In some cases, the body was seemingly born with two entities. In other cases, a single person spontaneously splits into multiple people. As above, sometimes people just appear who do not resemble the current residents in any way, and are believed to originate externally (these are called soulbonds or walk-ins, depending on how they entered). There are also people who deliberately or, occasionally, accidentally create new members, called thoughtforms (you’ll also see “tulpa” used, but it’s appropriative) essentially by talking to someone until they manifest consciousness and start talking back. These systems are neither ruled out nor much acknowledged by scientific literature. I don't know for certain why this is the case, but I assume it's generally because 1. people with traumagenic systems go to get treatment for ptsd, and their systems are relevant and come up and are studied, and 2. traumagenic systems have a cause that’s easier to place, so they’re easier to study, and since they’ve been studied, it’s easier to keep talking about them than to track down different forms of systems. It's also possible that the psychiatric community has wished to pathologize systems and prefer to talk about them as "unnatural" phenomenon as a result of trauma, though besides the obvious response, I would add that lots of neurodivergencies aren't a result of trauma, so this doesn't seem like a sound motivation.

These non-traumagenic systems, called endogenic systems, are sometimes invalidated by people akin to truscum. Endogenic systems are told that they’re lying because they’re not possible, that they’re delusional, that they’re in denial about the reason their system formed, and even that they must be repressing trauma if they’re plural and don’t remember a traumatic experience. All of these claims rely on the fallacious argument that if something isn’t well-documented, it does not exist. They fall into the circular trap of thinking a. this hasn’t been observed, therefore b. it’s not possible (this is a fallacy), and so c. if it is observed, the observation must be false. Since c is based on b, which is based on a, which would be negated by c in the first place, the last claim doesn’t make sense.

We personally consider ourselves multi/quoigenic - we do not believe it matters how we formed except as a matter of curiosity, but since curiosity is rampant in our system, we've thought it out and as far as we can tell, we're both endo- and traumagenic. Protector emerged as a result of trauma, becoming the host (well, at least the primary host - dragon was really the host I suppose) until Kai, then Sapphire became the host later. We can't place a time when barker and Sapphire weren't both present, so we consider ourselves endogenic twins. We ask that everyone respect our conclusion, and respect the fact that we know our own life better than anyone, certainly better than a random person or follower on the internet, and that we have both done our research and thought things through.

tl;dr: Systems not formed by trauma exist and are valid, and we consider ourselves one of them.

Individuals in systems are often different genders. This can result in a lot of experiences similar to singlet transgender experiences, but with added complications. Sometimes a member's gender can be influenced by another's. Sometimes what causes one member euphoria causes another dysphoria. Sometimes one member wants to physically transition and another does not. It's complicated, and hard, and shout out to everyone who's struggling with this issue because being trans is hard enough, but it's even worse when there are multiple people who own one body, and can't agree on what to do with it. Sometimes this is similar to what some genderfluid people experience in terms of dysphoria and euphoria, and similar compromises need to be reached.

Sometimes systems have a systemgender that they present to the rest of the world - for instance, one member is a man, one member is a woman, so they call themselves bigender or genderfluid, especially if they're closeted as a system. This specific instance is different from a singlet being bigender, but there are also a lot of similarities - wanting both genders to be represented and acknowledged, sometimes conflicting gender euphoria/dysphoria with regard to pronouns, style, and body traits, not fitting into the "one gender per body" norm, not fitting into the "gender=gender assigned at birth, no deviations, no extras," etc. I also coined mediangender, which can either be the systemgender of a median system, or the gender one facet (person in a median system) often identifies as because of the effects of being in a median system, despite having a different gender independently. There's also systemfluid, which just means the gender of the system changes depending on who's fronting, which is a given if different fronters have different genders, so seems questionable as a term, and medianfluid, which is when the median system's gender changes depending on which facet is fronting, or more at front, which makes much more sense when you consider that a median system is in some sense a single person.

In our system, we have a member who would not want top surgery or testosterone, and another two who want to look exactly like cis men.For our system, we've agreed to get top surgery but will also get breastforms once we have, and we're only planning on being on enough testosterone to be suitably androgynous. I (Sapphire, current host) am happiest with this anyway, but barker, protector, and Cat are all having to compromise. We all have to compromise on hair, too - it's an adventure. My gender is bigenderfluid(flux?), while barker is probably a binary trans guy, but identifies with bigender as a mediangender because we're so blurry a lot of the time that he feels some of my gender too - or he's not binary. We're not sure at this point. At any rate, Kai's mediangender is bigenderfluid, and dragon's mediangender is bigenderfluidflux, so this blog is still run by people who, together or separately, all identify with being bigender in some way. (Protector is proxvir on his own, but he wouldn't touch this blog on his own.)

tl;dr: Gender is often complicated in systems, and this blog is still run by bigender people

So anyway I hope this post was informative, and I'm happy to answer any questions people may have. We'll also start publicly signing asks with the names Sapphire and barker in addition to Kai, as the case may be, and tag the posts that we make with our names.

#systems #plurality #actuallymultiple #syscourse #systemgender #mediangender #medianfluid #bigender #genderfluid #me #Sapphire #kai #barker #protector #uhhhh if we tag dragon that'll be annoying for people looking for pictures of dragons so #dragontime #actuallyplural

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