Whew that last one was a doozy. I think it’s good to have sorta watered down my thoughts enough to help them fade but, I might’ve done it too well that time. Probably good, means this blog is doing its job. Still though, I mention this because I knew I had a Rant 4 but I’d forgotten what it was about exactly. Hoping this little ranting itself will sorta, lead me to there. Guess I’ll just make this one a series of mini rants.
I plan on having a nicer lunch today but I’ve been eating like shit lately. Not necessarily trashy foods just, not wanting to eat, and not feeling jazzed about doing so.
My internet’s been trashy and I feel isolated and frustrated not being able to do as much. I get so bratty with technology, so whiny. I want to throw my arms around and say “just WOOOOOOOORK damn you!” but obviously that brings me no luck. I dislike inconvenience much more often than actual hardship, and I’ve got little life or entertainment offline, so you can imagine no internet makes me a sad clown.
That said I’m getting pretty bored with my choices of entertainment. I’ve got backups, of course, and backup backups. But I’ve got that sort of refrigerator bias: I’m looking at my choices and nothing stands out, nothing says “pick me!” Maybe it *is* a depression thing; but also it’s just a lot of it isn’t new. I’m a little nauseous at the moment of fiddling with the same old shit, and even the different old shit. Not to say, while it’s still possible, going back to anything wouldn’t be fun. I’m just starving for the new at the moment, trapped in a loop. I’m sure In These Trying Times that a lot of people feel that way.
Alright that’s probably all for now, for today even, unless I remember more. This post as mentioned was a little more impromptu due to a forgotten actual subject. But not everything here is going to be complaints nor sappiness, or at all emotional. I can just tell this blog anything, get the thoughts out of my head. I like being chatty and this will serve for when I’ve got no particular good target to talk to. Obviously I’m not gonna tell my whole life story or anything to this blog, both because of internet safety wisdom and because it’s not so much a full disclosure therapy thing. I’m also a little trickstery so even for a hidden little thing like this I’m gonna still keep SOME secrets ;)
i feel like i do nothing but repeat myself over here but , ,, , i think i might be falling back into the fandom which worries me because ew boys but also , i,, i can’t tell if dl is dead or not, ??? ? akskas i miss!!!!!!the ocs!!!
anyways here’s a little?ramble about maribel and karls first meeting kinda ? idk ily guys
ok so yeah i thiink i’ve said this before but basically young human maribel was basically just supposed to be karl’s snack?? dinner?? impulsive blood suck while on a ‘business trip’?? it was like perfect,, she looked young and naive, innocent, pure (believe it or not) and all alone, lost somewhere tucked away in the woods . it was perfect lol but he still regrets it to this day because ,,
she was supposed,, to die after it,, because yknow, humans,, weak, , karl, strong,, - it wasn’t like he checked for a pulse after he almost sucked her dry, he just vanished and at this point maribel was like ???!? wtf?? ??!i’m aroused like ?? dream?? ? idk
she did pass out for like an hour and eventually returned home, still not really knowing what happened so just kinda just figured she was wayy too desperate for a boyfriend and had to stop reading those weird romance books that she had found lol
buuuut! because karl was on his ‘business trip’, he remained in the area (france, or somewhere not too far away) and just assumed she died, because surely he’s killed people that way before- if they don’t die instantly, they die in days, hours; something like that.
i imagined it to be almost like a damsel in distress situation, maybe around one of them times maribel ran away from home because she’s an emotional disaster,,, and she had to find somewhere to relax and then boom!??! all of a sudden there’s this hot mature looking man ,, godlike, even,, and he’s acting like a charming gentleman towards her?? how could she refuse that ?? ? lol she was havin a rough time anyway
yeah i keep getting off topic and i have a perfect idea of the scenario in my head so if you want that,,, i can,, because iv’e already written like ?? ?10 paragraphs of something like this in my drafts and uhh heyah
so after all of his coaxing maribel felt so grown up to be like ?? seduced by this very handsome man and was impulsively ready to just throw her virginity at him but that didn’t happen,, only her blood ???suck?? virginity jksgdfjgdf
and then for karl,, he didn’t know until a long time after drinking from her that she actually didn’t die and she just kinda came back and was like !!! i,, its u!!! omg!!! please do that ?? thing to me again i love u,, so.. he did,, because her blood was pretty decent and once again expected her to die, but it didn’t matter because that time he was leaving the area and who the fuck ??!? would believe someone like her lol
needless to say, maribel just kept on acting like a roach, never dying and ending up in places you don’t want!!! being annoying!! lol all it was really,, was just a fuck up that karl made and yeah he could just get rid of her but it’s not like,, she isn’t entertaining sometimes,, ykno,w,,
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Me: I'm gonna write something sad gonna break my and my friend's hearts, maybe kill my oc again and make Childe cry hehe
1 hour later, clutching my phone as I wrote stupid ocxcanon self-indulgent fluff: why is it everytime I said I'm writing something I do the exact opposite fml ajdkkd
Sometimes it's the opposite too, I am a fool who never goes through what I said, a contrarian to the very end.
Seriously tho, I forgot how... nice it is to indulge myself in my tiny oc-canon ship like writing reader inserts are nice but........ the serotonin levels I got from just that drabble was way better than any caffeine boost hahah
fuwon!! i feeeeel this lololol
I might make a few little fics for myself - you know indulge in the good feels - though idk if i’ll post any, might not be as fun for people (and I have so many WIPs while STILL adding to my list lol)
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A new introduction:
Hi all! 👋👋 I’m Theodore, or Theo, or Teddy, or Ted (whichever you prefer to call me!) I’m a 20 year old trans man and I’m also pansexual. My pronouns are he/him! I’m a hellenic polytheist and I worship Apollo, Zeus, Hades, Ares, and Dionysus! (And yes, I manage to keep it all *mostly* organized though it took awhile to get into that rhythm lol and it is still in need of minor adjustments I’m still learning!)
I have been a hellenic polytheist off and on since like 2017 but it has been solid since about January of 2020. I also do practice a bit of witchcraft but I’m not as into that as I am Hellenism. So, while I can answer most questions you may have or at least point you in the right direction I may not always have it or at least the one you may be looking for as I’m still learning (and tbh I feel like it’s a learning process for your entire life). But learning, adjusting, and even making mistakes are all part of this and are all going to happen to you at least once. So don’t feel discouraged if you mess up! That’s my most important lesson tbh. I struggled with that in the beginning hence why my worship was so on and off.
I am also autistic so I will be making some posts about that as well and it’s also just a slight warning in case you ever interact with me and are left wondering ‘why is he like this?’. That’s most definitely why. I’m just absurdly awkward. Not mean. I’ll never be mean without reason. Especially if you’re just like asking a question or something.
My blog is a safe place for: BIPOC, people of all faiths, people of all cultures and ethnicities, folks of any gender identity, folks of any sexuality (unless you think MAP is a valid sexuality in which case fuck off, or those weird like dracosexual and all those ‘joke’ ones like that that really just mock the actual LGBTQIA+ community and that bs ‘super straight’ or ‘super’ anything that’s not welcome here, transphobia isn’t cute). Basically you’re welcome here so long as you’re not a terf, bigot, trump supporter (at this rate Republicans just need to F off from this blog y’all have turned into something way more than just ‘conservative beliefs’). And before you complain this is my blog I make the rules here.
I will also post political, activist, and social justice stuff every once in a while but for the sake of my mental health I have been stepping back and taking a break from that for a bit just because I spent the past 5~ years completely immersing myself in it without any kind of a break or taking time to care for myself and my sanity. So I’m just taking a breather for a bit.
Anyways. Some more about me is: I’m planning on majoring in history and minoring in literature whenever I get around to going to college. I love drawing, painting, writing, reading, knitting, cooking, and baking. I live in the Midwest and things can be horrendously boring here, and yes we often got to Walmart or target for fun. Along with the whole going for a ride for fun happens to. My favorite genre of book is probably historical fiction. As to my favorite all time book, I don’t have a set answer for that though the Magic Treehouse books hold a special place in my heart. My favorite genre of music is a tossup between ska and punk.
That’s about it I think. If you have any further questions just let me know!
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