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#oooof I'm going through the backlog of my original songs and tryna record them into demos
colourmeastonished
·
3 years
Text
✌️
#oooof I'm going through the backlog of my original songs and tryna record them into demos
#and it's fun as hell and gr8 to be creating again
#but Bruh I wrote a lot of bangers about my ex and can't decide if I miss her or if I miss having Big Feelings being reciprocated ✌️
#bc to paraphrase the og fanatasy high guidance concellor: there's a lot of big feelings in the room
#a lot of the time I'll take a feeling and wrap it up in a constructed narrative or like write about general themes rather than
#specific people or incidents
#but I sure did write a song that straight up evokes what it felt like to be deep in my feelings for this chick ooof
#can't tell if I should be trying to move on more or if it's ok that there's still this lingering vibe of unfinished business
#cos I'm not expecting to get back together but I'm also v aware that she's intentionally leaving ambiguous doors open
#by like keeping open channels of communication and making a point of still signing messages w an x
#which sounds like an Overthinking thing but it was like... a plot point in our relationship 😂
#the presence or absence of an x is very intentional like we've had this discussion
#but anyway... I think I just miss her and its weird to know that when life gets back to normal she'll be like a presence in my life again
#bc of our shared social circle
#and idk what that's going to mean and I don't know if it's going to mean anything but oh boy she sure was cool as hell you know??
#and I miss talking to her & making her laugh and sure I'm being realistic idk if we're actually good for each other
#but... 🥺🥺🥺... yeah...
#gamer girl
#my thoughts
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