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cryptomiracle · 1 month

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more creepypasta headcanons

(+ marble hornets)

WARNINGS:

Ooc? Idk

I started this at 2 am and you can tell

Cursing

I write on my phone so the format may be a little weird

Any brands, games, or characters mentioned in this do NOT belong to me, nor am I sponsored by them in any way.

This is very unserious, I've noticed that a lot of my other hcs usually take a "dark" turn and so I decided to make some that didn't.

You could even say they're a bit... silly.

You should totally check out my masterlist for more hcs (it's pinned)

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Characters: masky, hoodie, ticci toby, jeff the killer, and BEN DROWNED.

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Jeff:

he's extremely hard headed, he WILL argue/fight with someone over the dumbest things and he'll never stop arguing, even if he knows the other person is right.

He has an "emo accent"

He likes to start drama between people, and then leave the crime scene.

He is so ashy you could strike a match off of his elbow

He's been wearing the same beat up converse since 2012, them things are being held together by duct tape and a prayer.

His favorite animal is a raccoon, he says they're sneaky and nocturnal like him.

He refuses to get a new phone, he won't even steal one.

He curses all the time just cause he can, sometimes he'll even jumble random curse words together.

BEN:

He listens to vocaloid and he doesn't play about miku

He runs one of those "rage bait" accounts that are painfully obviously bait

Still quotes old memes and refuses to let them die

Example: yeet, t-posing, and "sanic the hedgehog"

He scams old people on Facebook and e-daters, he doesn't feel bad about it either.

He uses the money he gets from scamming to buy v-bucks and overwatch coins

He once doxxed someone for dissing miku

slender had to take away his mic privileges because he was keeping everyone up at night by yelling bloody murder at people on fortnite/overwatch

once showed up at someones house because they emoted on him after killing him in game

Toby:

He vapes, and thinks he's so cool cause he can do "vape tricks" and he makes people watch him while he does them

Someone once gave him apple cider, told him it was alcohol, and he pretended to be drunk.

His phone gallery is filled with random photos, like there'll be a low quality picture of a tree and then right beside it a picture of a ceiling. Just random stuff

Mint chocolate chip ice cream enjoyer

He's really flexible, although he has bad posture he can do back bends, the splits, etc

more on his terrible posture; when he sits he literally looks like this: ) )

When he first started working for slenderman, he REFUSED to live in the manor and lived outside. While he lived outside he became friends with a lot of the wildlife, slender eventually made him move into the manor because there was a rumor that toby was going to make a "possum army" and try to overthrow slender

He will fight anyone and anything he really doesn't care about his, or their well-being.

Had a "weeb" phase when he was in middle school and he still has nightmares about "naruto running" away from his bullies.

Hoodie:

He can make a killer sandwich (lol) he's not the best at cooking other things, but if you get him to make you a sandwich, he'll bless your taste buds.

He loves karaoke, he can't sing for shit but he still does it anyway

He acts like a millennial (I'm sorry) not to the point where it's completely unbearable, but he will send people "relatable memes" every now and then

He enjoys online arguments, he'll never participate but he will scroll through different threads of people arguing for hours on end

He likes for people to say stuff like "GO WHITE BOY GO" to him

He blushes when he lies, he's a scarily good liar but if you ever want to catch him in a lie, point out the fact that his cheeks are red.

Whenever he has a drink with a straw, he holds the straw in-between his tooth gap.

he sends streaks.

Masky:

He has a NASTYYY side eye, and sometimes he'll scrunch up his nose while side eyeing someone just to make it sting even more

Contemplated getting a mullet once, he never went through with it though.

He coughs like someone's grandfather who smoked three packs of cigarettes a day for 40 years

If someone says a word that reminds him lf a song he likes, it'll automatically get stuck in his head and he'll hum it all day after that.

he isn't weak when it comes to stinky smells, but if it's stinky enough to make him gag he's extremely overdramatic.

he learned how to sew because of how much he ripped his jeans, shirts, etc.

Sleeps so hard sometimes people think he's dead, he'll just be laying there looking casket ready but everyone is too scared to check on him cause he gets super grumpy when woken up.

he always keeps a little money hidden somewhere, even if it's just a 5 dollar bill.

he's superstitious, if he sees you attempt to walk under a ladder he will physically drag you back and make you walk around it.

he has a pair of brass knuckles which he only saves for "special occasions" they're his favorite things ever, he even named them.

he only uses his phone to call, text, or search something up, and that's it.

he doesn't even have YouTube installed.

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I will be reading over this to check for any errors, ty for reading - M

#creepypasta #headcanon #creepypasta headcanon #jeff the killer #ticci toby #marble hornets #brian thomas #hoodie headcanons #jeff the killer headcanons #ticci toby headcanons #masky headcanons #masky marble hornets #hoodie marble hornets #ben drowned #ben drowned headcanons #tim wright

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oceansinthedesert · 3 months

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"We're safe, see?"

I'm writing this both to cope with reading the Megumi vessel arc and some personal loss going on in my real life right now. It's purely self indulgent and my target audience is me alone so please don't come at me for any of the characters being OOC lol. Also it's a self insert because I'm long past caring about it being cringe or whatever. This idea has been rotating in my mind like a gas station hot dog, I just have to get it out by posting it. Note: Satoru and Megumi call me by my first name, Nobara calls me by my self insert's last name+the honorific 'chan', and Yuji calls me my self insert's last name+sensei. I made sure to do proper research on this so that I'm not doing weeb shit and screwing up the language.

Word Count: ~ 3.2k

Summary: I have a nightmare about the first-years dying, so Gojo brings them over to our house to reassure me they're safe. After Itadori and Kugisaki leave, Megumi stays behind to tell Gojo and I that he appreciates us raising him after his dad 'disappears'.

Every history book on the Heian era I'd ever read failed to convey how terrifying Sukuna's true form was. No words could describe the overwhelming power radiating off him, the helplessness that froze my limbs and dammed the flow of my cursed energy. My feet dangled in the air as I tried to wriggle out of his grasp. Sukuna's bottom pair of arms held me captive against his chest, but what distressed me most was his free hands and what they were pointing at.

Megumi. Yuji. Nobara. My beloved first year students stood before us in fighting stances. I didn't understand how Yuji could be here with Sukuna physically manifested; figuring that out was the least of my worries right now. My voice tremored as I ordered, "Run, you three! I'll do my best to stay alive until you bring Gojo-sensei back to help me!"

"Like hell we'd leave you!" Yuji yelled. I could tell he was forcing a brave act— the usual courageous gleam in his eyes was gone.

"Even Sukuna would have to let you go with three sorcerers going at him at once," Nobara declared.

Only Megumi remained silent. Having known me the longest, he knew I would rather die than have them get hurt for my sake. And yet his hands were set to summon his Divine Dog. I decided to use a soft tone instead of my teacher voice in hopes of getting through their thick skulls. "Please, kids, you'll get slaughtered." Although it wasn't the first time I'd told them they'd lose a fight, I'd never said it so harshly before.

Sukuna found my begging entertaining. "You really love them, don't you? Do you tell them that to their faces?"

Something was off about the way he phrased that. He talked as if they weren't actually there; it made me question the situation. Is he messing with my senses? Does he have the ability to make me hallucinate? I wondered. Even if it was just a figment of my imagination, I had to treat it like they really were here so that they wouldn't get hurt.

"I do love them. That's why I want them to get far away from you."

Yuji, ever the impatient one, charged first. He only took two steps before Sukuna flicked one of his hands, saying, "Cleave."

I screamed as the boy's uniform bloomed red with blood. Megumi and Nobara didn't even have time to call out his name; jagged cuts slashed their stomachs wide open. My wails of agony were cut off by a spew of stomach acid erupting from my mouth. It's been years since the last time gore made me throw up! What is wrong with me? Get a hold of yourself! I turned away from the horrible sight with my hands poised, aiming to claw out Sukuna's eyes.

He caught my hands easily. No matter how hard I tried to break free, his black nails stayed buried in my wrists. Writhing in his hold only served to wear me out. My vision was starting to blur; I couldn't stop screaming no matter how much my vocal cords begged me to.

Sukuna opened his mouth, probably to mock me for being weak, but the voice that came out perplexed me enough to shut up. Satoru's voice came from his lips, saying, "Lauren. Lauren! Wake up!"

Suddenly I was no longer standing in the ruins of a temple, watching my students' blood seeping into the wooden floorboards. I was in my bed, and the arms enclosing me didn't belong to the King of Curses— it was Satoru holding me.

"Thank God you're awake! You were screaming bloody murder and scratching at my Infinity," Satoru whispered. He started pushing my sweaty hair out of my face, touching me delicately like he was afraid I'd start freaking out again. "What were you dreaming?"

Guilt formed a lump in my throat; I would've hurt him if it wasn't for his cursed technique. Logically I knew he kept his Limitless going automatically — and that it was capable of letting him touch me without me touching him — but my brain was too frazzled for rational thoughts right now. I bowed my head and said, "I'm so sorry, Toru! If your defense hadn't stopped me, I would've hurt you!"

"But it did hold up, so don't feel bad. Please tell me what happened, sweetheart."

I heaved a sigh. Satoru never let things go, so I relented. "I had a nightmare that Sukuna got to our kids. Like, Heian form Sukuna with the four arms and double face." The sight of their massacered bodies flashed through my mind, sending a shudder through my exhaused body.

His face scrunched up in a mix of concern and anger. He cursed Sukuna under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear. Then, with the softness he reserved just for me, he responded, "As long as I'm around, nothing will harm our students. I swear on my life to keep them safe."

"I wish we lived in a world where you don't have to say stuff like that..."

"Hopefully someday we'll make that wish-"

"Sorry to interrupt, but I'm really hot. Can we sit up?" Part of me wanted to lay in his protection forever, but the bigger part of me was unbearably clammy.

He reluctantly let me go so we could sit up and get out of the covers. He laced our fingers together, ignoring how gross my skin probably felt. He continued, "Hopefully our efforts to make a new world will bear fruit soon. We'll eradicate all curses, end global warming, and retire at fifty."

"That last goal makes you sound like Nanamin." His optimistic declaration brought a small smile to my face.

"He's a good man to sound like. Big world-changing plans aside, what can I do to help you in this moment?"

Satoru's consideration made my heart swell. When we first started dating, he was emotionally immature. As our relationship progressed, he learned how to handle both his and others' feelings — Megumi's presence in his life also contributed to his growth. Moments like this, when I needed comforting, proved just how far he's come. "I want to shower and put on clean PJs. Can you change the sheets while I do that?"

"Yes ma'am," he said with a salute.

We both got moving to start our respective tasks. I picked a pair of striped PJ pants and one of Satoru's old shirts to change into. Clothes in hand, I entered the master bathroom. I stripped quickly, already feeling relieved by the air hitting my bare skin. The sound of running water eased the anxiety pounding against my skull; the cold temperature cooled down my overheated frame.

I listened to the sound of Satoru rustling about in the background while I washed my hair. He must've finished making the bed pretty fast, because the room was quiet again by the time I was finished scrubbing my body. Eager to go back to sleep, I finished the rest of my shower process quickly.

I expected Satoru to be sitting on the bed waiting for me, but the bedroom was empty. I said, "Satoru?" But I received no answer, which meant he wasn't in the closet. Assuming he must've gone to the kitchen or something, I repeated myself a little louder. Still no answer.

The light in the hallway connecting our bedroom to the livingroom was on, telling me he'd definitely come this way. I expected him to be sitting on the livingroom couch or rummaging through the pantry for a snack.

Instead I was met with a Post-It note stuck to the front door that read: Don't panic, I just went to the dorms to get the kids. We'll be over in a jiffy. Love you, -xoxo, Toru.

I'm going to smack him when he gets back. I fussed at him constantly for not letting the first years get enough rest, and there he went waking them up in the middle of the night just because my defective brain convinced me they'd been attacked. Since our house was on campus, just a few yards from the student dorms, I figured they'd be here any minute.

I was right. Megumi was first to stumble in through the front door. His disheveled bedhead made his hair wilder than usual, and he was wearing mismatched slippers. Nobara came in next; it was incredibly obvious she was pissed to be dragged out of bed. Her expression got mildly less sour when she made eye contact with me, but she still looked like she was about to fall asleep on her feet. Last but not least, Yuji filed in with Satoru on his heels.

My motherly side (a part of me that I tried to ignore, because that's unprofessional) was relieved they were here. I reminded myself that it was selfish to disrupt their sleep for my personal need to see them. I said, "Satoru, what were you thinking? I get onto you all the time for not letting them get enough rest! They may be powerful sorcerers, but they're still growing children! Growing children need eight hours of sleep."

I could tell my nagging went in one ear and out the other, because he just grinned at me and replied, "I believe what you're supposed to say is, 'Oh Toru, thank you so much! You're the best boyfriend ever, Toru!'"

"Well, as much as I hate to be selfish, I am glad to see you guys. Did he tell you about the dream?" I addressed the kids, ignoring Satoru's dramatics.

"Nah, he just yoinked me from my bed and told me you needed all of us," Yuji answered, sitting down in his favorite chair.

"He made it sound like you were dying," Nobara grumbled. She too got comfortable, sinking down into her preferred spot on the couch.

Megumi sat to the left of me, leaving Satoru to take the spot at my right. The former was staring at me with an intensely worried expression.

"Whatever you're thinking, Gumi Bear, out with it." I returned his gaze with equal intensity.

"Did you have a nightmare...about us dying?"

Such a perceptive boy. "Yeah. It sucked."

Nobara perked up a little, curiosity giving her a slight energy boost. Leaning towards you, she asked, "What killed us?"

I tried my hardest not to look at Yuji. I couldn't answer that question in front of him; it would make him feel guilty. "Does it matter? It didn't happen. You're sitting here in one piece, that's the important thing."

"Come on, Prior-sensei, we want to know!" Yuji chimed in.

Him and Nobara were looking at me with puppy-dog eyes. Damn them for being so hard to deny. Through gritted teeth, I confessed, "Heian form Sukuna.

Yuji's face immediately fell; he looked like I just punched him in the gut. To make matters worse, Sukuna's mouth appeared on his cheek. The smug bastard that I hated so much said, "How flattering that you dream about me! Wouldn't it be wonderful if I took control of this brat's body and had some fun with you?"

Bile rose in my throat at the mere thought of it. Satoru's hand landed on my thigh, squeezing it possessively. Just when I thought the tense silence would suffocate us all, Sukuna laughed. "Your emotions are so easy to play with. Both you and this loser I'm forced to share a body with."

Yuji slapped his cheek. "Piss off, parasite."

The mouth faded away, returning his skin to normal, although he was blushing fiercely. Seeing him so uncomfortable tugged at my heartstrings, so I got up to pat his back. "Don't be embarrassed, Yuji. It's not your fault he says stuff like that."

"But it is though! I should be able to stifle him by now."

"Has he fully switched with you since he fixed your heart? Has he killed anyone since then?"

"Well, no, but-"

"I'm not finished yet. Don't interrupt me when I'm lecturing you. You have control over him in the ways that it truly matters, so don't beat yourself up for not preventing him yapping. Do you understand me?"

His expression lost its harshness, so I think my assurance helped him calm down. He was able to look at me properly when he replied, "Crystal clear, Sensei."

"Good. Thank you." I ruffled his hair. Then I turned to Nobara, seeking her consent to give her a hug. "Since you got dragged here to comfort me, can I hug you? I understand if that's a boundary you don't want me to cross. Please don't feel pressured to say yes."

"Of course you can hug me, Prior-chan."

I leaned down to meet her so that she didn't have to get up from her comfy position. Holding onto her helped ground me in reality, reassured me that she really was okay. Honestly, I was so relieved a few tears slipped out.

After a few minutes, I pulled away. I wanted to hold Megumi too, but I knew he preferred not to be touched. Which is why I was schocked when he said, "Lauren, I'd like one as well."

As happy as that made me to hear, I hesitated. "You don't like physical touch, Megumi. You don't have to make yourself uncomfortable for my sake."

"It's tolerable sometimes, especially from someone who raised me." He said that last part quietly, intending his friends not to hear it.

Fully crying now, I embraced him. I felt like I didn't have the right to say this to him, but after ten years of helping Satoru take care of him (and Tsumiki), I considered him my son. I was starting to feel maternal love for the other first-years as well. Although it was slightly strange to ask, I said, "Nobara, Yuji. Can we have a group huddle? I think I'd be more at ease to have all of my kids in my bubble."

They obliged without complaint. I managed to encircle all three of them, paying no mind to the strain it put on my joints. Satoru joined in; his arms were long enough to wrap around all of us once we squished together a little bit. My heart was so full of love, I wondered if it would burst. How could three baby sorcerers I shared no blood with come to mean so much to me so quickly?

His voice was a tad muffled since his face was smushed into Megumi's shoulder, but Yuji said, "We're safe, see?"

A scene from the dream flashed in my mind; I focused on the textures of their clothes and the sound of their breathing to dispel it. My ear was closest to Nobara's heart, its steady rhythm further anchoring me to reality. I murmured, "Yes, thank heavens you're all here with me. Thank you for caring enough about me to support me."

"It's nothing compared to all you do for us," Megumi said.

A comfortable silence settled on us after that. I could've spent eternity in the tranquility of that moment, but I knew we all needed to return to bed. I extracted myself with a sigh, "Okay, kids, back to your dorms you go. Training's gonna suck tomorrow if you don't get a few extra hours of snoozing."

"Aw come on, can't we take the day off tomorrow?" Nobara said.

"Don't look at me, I'm just an auxilary teacher. That decision is up to your main professor Gojo."

"You're a semi-grade two, not the auxilary staff," Megumi deadpanned. He didn't like it when I sold myself short.

"Tomato, tomato." I waved my hand dismissively. "I love you all, but shoo. Rest your sweet little heads so you can face whatever devious nonsense my crazy man has planned for you tomorrow."

"All the best sorcerers are crazy," Satoru quipped. He was reluctant to let them go, but the look in my eye told him there'd be no arguing. "She's right though, younglings. Off you go!"

Yuji and Nobara squeezed me one last time before they left, wishing us a goodnight. Megumi didn't follow after them, though. Once he was sure they were out of earshot, he said, "When I said 'all you do for us,' I left out the words I didn't want to say in front of Itadori and Kugisaki. 'Especially for me' is what I held back. You've taken care of me my whole life. I remember you as my mom more than my birth mother at this point, honestly."

He looked like saying it pained him, like being vulnerable was a huge struggle for him. All throughout his childhood, he'd been a boy of few words. Knowing he felt secure enough now to share those feelings with me was a huge affirmation that I'd at least had a little positive influence on his character. I ruffled his hair with a warm smile. "I'm glad you said that, 'cause I've thought about you as my son for a while now. I've never told you 'cause I didn't wanna overstep my bounds and say something presumptuous."

"You should start calling us Mom and Dad," Satoru suggested. His playful tone hid his sincere desire for Megumi to admit he also saw him as a parental figure.

"I think the world would stop spinning if I admitted my gratitude to you out loud," Megumi said, rolling his eyes. To avoid seeing his reaction, he stared at the wall and continued, "But I am thankful for your contribution to my upbringing as well. I guess you're kind of alright, Satoru."

To anyone else it wouldn't seem like much; it was a huge step in the right direction for Satoru. He pinched the boy's cheeks, squealing, "Megumiiiii! That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me, even if it was emotionally constipated!"

"Don't let it go to your head!" Although he shook his face free of Satoru and shoved him away, Megumi wore a small grin. Despite how he acted, he really did appreciate everything the man had done for him.

I watched their interaction fondly. Satoru, imperfect though he may be, truly loved with his whole being. Seeing his sweet side made me want to marry him. I thought about his only half-joking remark: Megumi is too reserved for that, but I wouldn't mind having a little one of our own to call us 'Mom and Dad'. What is it about men with good paternal instincts that make them so attractive?! Evolutionary response, probably. As cute as their bickering was, I cut in: "It's past 1:30, my love. Stop teasing our boy and let him go back to bed."

"You heard your mom, back to bed you go!"

"You're the one blocking the door, idiot!"

"Oh, it seems I am!" Satoru fake gasped. He stepped aside with an exaggerated flair. "Goodnight, Megumi. And tell the others your generous sensei Gojo is giving you all the first half of tomorrow off."

"Okay. Goodnight to you both."

He slipped out into the dark, letting in the chilly night air. I watched him walk back toward the students' residence, noting with relief that his body language was more relaxed than when he'd first got here. I headed back to our room once he was out of sight. I snuggled contentedly into the fresh sheets.

Satoru was quick to join me, assuming the big spooniposition. The last thing my mind registered as I drifted into (a thankfully peaceful) sleep was him whispering "I love you" in my ear.

#jjk fanfic #self insert x canon #gojo satoru #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #nobara kugisaki #jjk self insert #jjk self ship #hurt/comfort

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kindan-no-kanojo · 1 year

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⊹𝕬𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕸𝖚𝖓

❝I just had an idea, watch out—❞

╬———— ❪ 🧉 ❫ ————╬

𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞

➳ Rox

𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢 | 𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐣𝐢

➳ ロックス ➳ Rokkusu

𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞(𝐬)

➳ Rox ➳ Roxx ➳ Roxxx ➳ Sugar ➳ Void

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞

➳ —Unknown(?)—

𝐏𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐠𝐞 | 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐠𝐞

➳ 25 so far ➳ Probably around 6

𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 | 𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐞 | 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞

➳ April 7th ➳ Aries ➳ Diamond

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐒𝐢𝐧

➳ Sloth ➳ Wrath ➳ Gluttony ➳ A little bit of all—

𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐬

➳ —Unknown—

𝐒𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

➳ Asexual ➳ Aromantic

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 | 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬

➳ Carpet ? ➳ Idc. Choose your poison

𝐇𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 | 𝐖𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

➳ 167 cm ➳ ??? more unstable than my mental health

𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞

➳ A+ 💅🏻

𝐎𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

➳ Hungry artist

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬

➳ Broke ➳ Unavailable (fr tho pls don't unironically ship me 💀)

𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬

➳ Spanish ➳ English ➳ A secret third thing that I make up along the way ➳ Weeb ?

𝐌𝐁𝐓𝐈 | 𝐄𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦

➳ INTP —The Logician ➳ 5w6 —The Troubleshooter

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥

➳ Simp ➳ Probably has ADHD ➳ Character dissector

𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬

➳ Cats ➳ Sweets ➳ Memes ➳ Soft textures ➳ Rambling about whatever rots my brain ➳ Sleeping

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬

➳ Uneven numbers ➳ Loud noises ➳ Balloons ➳ Thunderstorms ➳ Being tired ➳ Sleeping

𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬

➳ Creating new words on the spot ➳ Being either clueless or clueful (always out to get that clue) ➳ Forgetting what I’m talking about as I speak (IRL) ➳ Always having a meme for the occasion ➳ Knowing too much about something absolutely useless ➳ Appearing sane and put together (?)

𝐎𝐎𝐂 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤

➳ Anything off quotation + tiny text, including Mun!R, or w/ the ooc tag. ➳ Sometimes I use (( for asks I send if there's any IC text. ➳ .I might add a dot in OOC tags. ➳ Scarlett won't speak off quotations that's all you need to know. ➳ ngl if there's no distinction between Scarlett's speech and mine there might be a bigger problem 🗿

╬━━━━━━ ❪ ❦ ❫ ━━━━━━╬

That's all for today's cringe, farewell ✨

╬━━━━━━ ❪ ❦ ❫ ━━━━━━╬

#finally. the cringiest post in this blog.#🧉. Rox #.the 4th wall whispers. . . | 𝒪𝒪𝒞

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willowish · 5 months

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So I watched all 4 series/seasons of Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha and I'm gonna map out my thoughts on all of them and rank them on the Weeb Ass Shit scale

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha: 8.5/10 overall

Weeb 2/10 - Other than being a magical girl anime, there's not much you need to know about Japan or anime, and magical girls are more common in western cartoons now, so it ranks low imo

Ass 4/10 - There are panty shots and, unfortunately, a hot spring episode, both of which are made worse by the main character being 9, but the worst part imo is the magical girl sequence going out of its way to show her regular clothes coming off before the new outfit goes on. Lots of magical girl anime have Vague Nudity during the transformations, but this feels extra weird

Shit 2/10 - I would say there aren't many major plot holes or instances of bad writing, I really enjoyed the story, and it used the 13 episodes it had wisely, getting straight to the point. Not telling the viewer Nanoha's fake, non-magic explanation of why she's going away is the only thing that jumps out as lazy writing, but it doesn't really matter anyway since she explains for real in the end. There are a few one-off remarks about Nanoha's family that I initially was like "ok, not gonna explain that?" but then I remembered this is technically a spinoff of Triangle Heart, so those were probably added for Triangle Heart fans, not new viewers

Season 1 was an intriguing story that drew me in pretty quickly and one that could honestly stand on its own. I remember finishing episode 13 and thinking "what could possibly come after this, that seemed like a solid story to me!" It may seem odd to think "I don't really need a follow up season on this good anime," but the alternative comes up later. I think this was my favorite season, partly because Yuuno was a main character and he's my favorite. Pity me.

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha A's: 8/10 overall

Weeb 3/10 - I don't have many specific examples, but I feel like this season had more anime tropes/Japanese culture in it. The only example I can really think of is Hayate bathing with Shamal and Vita, but I made a mental note after watching that the weeb ranking was higher

Ass 4.5/10 - Same panty shots and weird transformation sequences as before, as well ad aforementioned bathing. There was also another scene where a monster with tendrils or whatever grabbed Signum and her boobs got squished by it. You know what I mean.

Shit 3/10 - This was another really solid plot, and again it used its allotted episodes well, but I feel like it wasn't quite as good as season 1. Plus it had Hayate's paralysis heal after the Book of Darkness was destroyed, which is a dumb trope, but I don't dock more points for it because the book was causing the paralysis to begin with, and it didn't vanish overnight at least.

I didn't like this one as much, especially at first, but I really liked Nanoha getting more involved with the Bureau and official magic business, and I somehow didn't see the twist at the end of Graham and the Liese twins being part of the problem. Loved the peak 6 years ahead at the end where everyone's older, and Yuuno getting teased about "making process" with Nanoha was cute (and painful in retrospect, RIP Yuuno idk why the writers shoved you aside so hard). I once again thought "that was a great story with a solid wrap-up, what more could there be?" and yet there was more.

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS: 7/10 overall

Weeb 3/10 - Anime battles, power levels, pupils aiming to surpass their mentors, pretty standard anime fare that's easy to understand, if you saw Dragonball as a kid you get it pretty much, and we're not in Japan anymore Toto, so don't worry about that

Ass 5/10 - Same stuff as before, including a weird, OOC scene where Subaru wakes Teana up by... groping her boobs. It was so out of place I almost had to make sure it was the same anime. Also, a 6 year old girl transforms into an adult woman à la Black Lady, and watching a grown woman in a vacuum sealed bodysuit with boob socks cry and act like a 6 year old is SUPER weird. At least Black Lady didn't act like Chibiusa...

Shit 4.5/10 - Wouldn't it be dumb if you named an anime after the main character, then divided focus between her and a new cast of characters so she's barely the main character anymore? Yeah, it was dumb. I like the idea of showing how Nanoha has matured by having her become a mentor to a new generation, but removing the focus from her so much was... idk, not what people were watching for? Also taking the really cool sci-fi magical girl anime to a more politic/bureaucratic place with power struggles in the Bureau was A Choice, but there were still plenty of cool fights, so it's fine

Remember Yuuno? The writers did for 2 whole lines of dialogue. Anyway, petty grievances aside, this season grew on me slowly. I didn't like Subaru and Teana much at first (loved the episode where Nanoha blasted Teana with a huge magic beam then Signum punched her later lol) but they moved up to Fine by the end. I passively wondered why all of the combat cyborgs were women, then they dropped the "all of us have a genetic copy of our creator in our wombs in case he dies" shit and I wished I was dead. Weird shit aside, I liked it overall, and, ONCE AGAIN thought "yeah, this would be a satisfying place to end this tale!" and I was right that time.

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha ViVid: 3.5/10 overall

Weeb 5/10 - This is An Anime alright. Training camps, hot springs, sports tournaments, we've got some prime examples of Anime here

Ass 6/10 - I'm tempted to rate this higher, but I feel like if 10 is hentai then any higher than this is too much. But there's a lot more sexualized bullshit here. I was literally 28 seconds into an episode and Fate's clothing got shredded, SPECIFICALLY on her chest, during a mock battle. We've got double the kid-to-adult boobification sequences, and we've got a 14 year old nun with battle underboob. Can't forget sexual harassment of a 10 year old at the hot spring!

Shit 7/10 - Don't watch this. You know how I praised the others for being complete stories that used their 13 episodes well? NOT VIVID!!! The first half of the show was just putzing around and introducing Einhart, a convoluted character with a dumb concept and confusing motives (she explained them many times and I still don't know wtf she wanted). The second half got into the only thing that was kind of interesting, the magic/martial arts sports tournament thing, and THEY DIDN'T FINISH BECAUSE THEY RAN OUT OF EPISODES!!! They got to episode 12, didn't even try to finish, and used the 13th 23 minute slot as a RECAP EPISODE to, idk try to drum up interest for a season 2? Didn't happen, because the show was ASS, so if you cared (I don't, I considered not finishing after every single episode) you can just read the manga I guess I'll say it again, don't watch this. First of all, if Nanoha being the protagonist only part of the time annoyed me, imagine how much I loved her being a background character. Also, you know how magical girl anime are about fighting to save the world and stuff? And how one of Lyrical Nanoha's draws was the really cool sci-fi magic battles and the repeated reminder that Nanoha was putting her life on the line as a 9 year old, making the show somewhat darker than other magical girl shows with protagonists that young? What if we made it a slice of life sports anime where a group of kids tries to get stronger and win the sports tournament against tough foes! Fucking yawn. When you go from a kid learning how to output strong magic without killing herself to a bunch of kids playing the water and practicing "cutting water" you have to wonder where you went wrong

Unrelated overall thoughts:

It's probably not intentional, at least in the way I'm interpreting it, but the gender in this show is pretty delicious sometimes. LOVE when Intelligent Devices refer to their female users as sir, specifically Bardiche calling Fate sir is very good to me. Also a big fan of Olivie being called a king instead of a queen. A lot of girls in ViVid have typically male names, like Einhart, Harry, and Victor. Also Otto is a trans man, he told me himself.

As you know, Nanoha is well known for having two hands- one for Yuuno, and one for Fate. The show directly implies Yuuno likes Nanoha and less directly implies she also likes him. The show also makes Nanoha and Fate really gay, but not "overtly" (other than both being Vivio's moms) because homophobia. Which is more canon? Both. Why? Here's a diagram.

As we can see, Vivio, Nanoha's child (I know she's adopted, that's not important here shhh) represents both Yuuno and Fate. We can also see that Nanoha loves blonde people.

As for the movies, I think season 1 was the better telling, but I honestly preferred the 2nd movie's telling of A's plot. Something I HATED!!! about both movies was the WEIRD lighting/shading choice for Nanoha's/Fate's chests that emphasized their nipples??? SO weird, I literally did a fucking double take every time that showed up.

TL;DR Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha is good! Ignore ViVid

#gay mumbling #mgln #sorry if that's a main tag im tagging it for my own purposes #feel free to ignore this! idk how much action that tag gets #sorry if i got your hopes up :(

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speed-is-knowledge · 2 years

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I exist somehow. For the past few months i’ve been constantly sick over and over again. Infections this, infections that...I havent had a solid week of just feeling okay in like forever 😭. But yeah HI I MISS EVERYONE

#ooc (( off being a weeb ))

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kirisaki-daichi-scenarios · 3 years

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a discussion of jabberwock with team interaction hcs + deeper nash analysis

for anon who asked "Can we get some headcanons for jabberwock members or like headcanons when they're together? (its okay if it was jason or nash only)" and made me realise it's about time i get these guys' personalities down

note before we start: cause i didn't know their names until i wrote this

zack is the bald one, allen is the one with a headband, nick is the other white guy apart from nash.

team hcs

nick gets bullied for being under 6ft, but not by jason

nah good old jason teases all of them for being short fucks, emphasising that they’re all 5ft tall in comparison to him

he 100% lifts things out of the others' reach and then laughs for ages after when they try get them

unfortunately though, they’re all used to this and now just ignore him. either that or nash stares at him so intensely jason actually repents and hands it back

zack’s another one with a very good glare, but he’s used it too often on jason and it’s since stopped working.

also jason gives me ‘straightens his back as much as possible when getting measured so he’ll measure in as 7ft’ vibes

oh and he thinks he could wrestle a gator and win. i’ve got no explanation for that except for the fact you can't tell me it's ooc.

allen’s very protective over his white headband - it’s his lucky item - but he’d never let anyone know that

he’s confident in his abilities like the rest of them, but there’s nothing wrong with wearing a headband just in case

(nash knows anyway)

they watch nba matches together and do not shut up once throughout the entire match - lots of jeering, booing each other if someone criticises a player they like, lots of “i could do that”, lots of “get your fucking hand out of my popcorn do you want me to punch you in the face” etc

they used to all live together, but nash has since moved out. he was sick and tired of trying to make people do chores, as the only one who kept their room clean.

yeah the others’ house looks like a heap of trash but also very much “where’s my toothbrush?” “it’s in the third coke can by the orange peel behind the sink” *silence* “yeah thanks” *a minute later* “who the fuck has been using my toothbrush”

they’re all “bro your dribbling sucks why are you on this team loser” to one another, but also very protective (aka arrogant for one another) if anyone else Dared to criticise one of their teammates

then again, what kind of person would criticise jabberwock

half of the time he spends with jabberwock, nash is a Single Mother TM trying to get a bunch of man children to behave; the other half of the time, he's just as bad as the rest of them

i talk about this a lot but i get the feeling nash is an exceptionally hard worker, but at least he gets to let his hair down around his teammates sometimes

nash is also the only person jason thought was truly ‘strong’ at first sight

and nash is also the only person who can beat jason in a fight, and also the only person who can get nash to train, and also the only person who can.. [etc. you see my point].

(n.b jason calls himself the ‘almighty me’, nash says that ‘even god can’t beat me’. point made.)

you know how jason silver’s motto is “I have never thought”

imagine him proudly stating that, before zack adds with a straight face, “yeah cause nash does it for you.”

in short, the team would fall apart without nash.

although the team’s communication and coordination is very fine tuned, nash is the guy who keeps everything in order off the court to prevent what is essentially a team of aces ('main characters', if you will) from falling apart

they hang out together a lot, but do all have other friend groups that do not overlap

team bbqs

unofficial rule not to criticise anchovies on pizza because the one time nick did, nash snapped

however pineapple on pizza is fair game, even though zack quite likes it

more than once, jason has brought a girl home and nick has stolen her attention away with effortless trick shots, funky ball manoeuvring etc

more than once nick has had to trek to nash’s place (with a black eye) at midnight to have somewhere to sleep

do you see a correlation?

oh and everyone in the team has been walked in on by nash when they were naked with some girl

nash has absolutely no shame

he apologises to the girl with a charming albeit insincere tone, and then remains standing in front of the bed/couch until his teammate does what he expected of them

usually it involves not having come to practice

allen learnt a few (emphasis on ‘few’) words of japanese before they travelled to japan and was disappointed that he never got to use them

that said, one of those words was hentai

and now a quick analysis of some panels

a) so there's at least one player who wasn't underestimating vorpal swords. if i were to overanalyse, i'd add that nick's wearing a hoodie (possibly athletic wear) whilst nash has a 'fancy' shirt on; perhaps nick wasn't expecting them to be going to host clubs instead of chilling/training?

b) i know what you're thinking: "how can you say nash is a hard worker when he didn't want to practice for the match". i reckon he was still pretty high on the complete and utter success of their previous match, that plus being around girls, encouraged him to have a more 'jason-y' personality. (either that or fujimaki didn't want to add too much depth/realism into nash's character bc he's unequivocally the villain, right? and obviously this helps with the plot and the jabberwock bad geniuses gom good geniuses rhetoric.)

earlier, i mentioned how nash is the only one that could keep the team together, and is thus the undeniable head of the team; here's a clear example. you can see both jason and zack have no interest in continuing - if anything, there's disgust in their faces, kinda just saying "we spat on all of japan, now we can go home". whereas nash won't allow for the slightest of possibilities that there might exist a team stronger than them, and hence agrees to the match. the key thing here is that the others do as he says without too much fuss.

another thing to note is nash's reference to harakiri. now what can we make of that, alongside his proficiency in japanese, in relation to his character? the way i see it, he's either a weeb or possibly has some japanese lineage. (you could spin that even further and say his mother was japanese, taught him the language, then abandoned him, and hence his almost excessive hatred/mockery of the japanese people.) (is that why he wanted to do another match in japan..?)

just a quick point. "thanks to him" - jason isn't so superior as to think that he could win this match effortlessly without nash's support. links pretty nicely with my earlier idea about how nash is the only person jason has always considered 100% strong.

yet another point about how nash is the strongest of the team in pretty much every way you can think of. you know how scary/powerful you have to be to shut jason up (after he's getting real pissed from being prevented from scoring?)

i personally think this is a pretty important panel, though i've never seen anyone mention it before. did nash grow up training in a professional basketball training situation, as opposed to growing up playing streetball like i suspect the others did? well, to answer that question, imma bring in another panel.

here we see visible rage on nick, zack and jason's faces - they can't accept their loss, which is fair enough. but i'd argue that nash's face seems to depict sadness more than it does anger like to rest of them, look at how downturned his mouth is - and he's looking away from the 'camera', as if hiding his shame.

when you combine that with what he says here, i have no doubt that this is someone who has experienced some proper lows in basketball - as would be expected from someone who's played 'properly'. he's possibly not even a prodigy like the rest of them - compare jason's motto with his. "i have never thought" versus "do not suppose opportunity will knock twice at your door".

there's various lines of thinking you could design with this - he might have been trained by alex (hence, himuro having heard of jabberwock, though he should have known of a team as popular of jabberwock regardless), he might have grown up with professional basketballer parents etc. but here's my own little theory:

nash received serious basketball training from early on - maybe because his parents were living vicariously through him, or maybe he always loved the sport and wanted to be no1. so there he was training away, but, as he grew older, it started getting all a bit too much.

he didn't want to dedicate his entire life to basketball. after all, his hobby is water sports and his speciality is boxing; that's a lot of different things to be keeping up with, whereas the pipeline for promising athletes demands people focus solely on basketball. as a result, nash become bitter: stopped attending practice regularly, got in trouble for trash talk of increasing severity, etc.

result was he was kicked out of the program.

only when he was no longer playing basketball again, did he realise how much he missed it. and hence he got into streetball, where he was tremendously successful as someone with so much training, 'elite skills', and the overly confident attitude to boot.

then, one fateful day, he met jason and the rest is history.

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thetimelordbatgirl · 2 years

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....Whose going to tell Lily this is her personality, though??? Wasn’t she the one who basically made a two hour rant video on Steven Universe?? And still clearly hates Steven Universe nowadays? Or do we need to bring up her comic off her favorite character killing a minor, aka Steven, just cause he preached to try and stop the fight???

How about how she acts with nowadays stuff....oh yeah, when she hated on Amity basically cause people liked her more.....or when she hates on Hunter cause again, people like him more. Again, there is commentary to be made how the characters of color like Willow and Gus get treated in comparison to Amity and Hunter, but Lily isn’t interested fully in that. She’s only interested in being bitchy cause someone liked Hunter more then Willow....who she makes OOC violent anyway, so she clearly only likes Willow when shes more like Lily and less like Willow. Hmm, what else could I be missing....oh right, the Encanto discussion that she basically threw herself into when realizing people were happy she wouldn’t be touching Encanto, and then basically proceeded to hate on popular things in the fandom under the disguise of caring about racism in the fandom without discussing the actual racism going down while also throwing autistic people under the bus at one point.

Pretty sure we can also include her hating anime as a whole....again, a popular thing, just cause she doesn’t like a large majority of it and even goes as far as to call anyone who does like it a weeb....cause she’s that desperate to diss an entire genre of animation basically. Then again, she also hates it when people praise animation.....so we ain’t surprised really. What we are is just rolling her eyes....cause this woman is basically on her high horse when people dislike popular stuff, but you know its different for her cause EVERYTHING is different standards for her, cause that’s how Lily Orchard seems to work: act exactly like the rest or the internet or worser in more serious allegations cases, but then act like she suddenly is on a high horse with the rest of the internet.

#lily orchard #lily orchard critical #anti lily orchard #like hating popular things IS her personality #but guess its different rule for rest of the internet #or until its something she hates too anyway

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feelinkeeli · 3 years

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Soulmates tropes? Admittedly my mind goes to my weeb past with: red string of fate that only you and your soulmate can see!

You're getting this unedited and basically whatever came to mind for me to write. I am too out of spoons to worry about OoC/IC issues. Sorry about that.

Soulmate AU trope - Red string

Luke is lucky in that his soulmate also seems to live on Tatooine. It's a big galaxy out there and trying to find your soulmate is no easy feat. That Luke's soulmate spends a good chunk of the year on Tatooine means they won't be too hard to find.

If Luke wants to find them.

Luke is unlucky that his soulmate also lives on Tatooine. That the soul thread fades out in the direction of Jabba's palace and Mos Eisley. A soulmate that could move as much as Luke's did, on and off planet, was probably in Jabba's employ or someone who had regular deals with Jabba. Or whoever they work for does. Luke has always had his soul thread so that means his soulmate is older than him, maybe even way older than him given some races could live for centuries or even millennia.

Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen make it clear, once Luke tells them about the directions his soul thread leads, that he isn't to search for his soulmate. It's dangerous for both him and them. Better for the soulmate to come to Luke (and probably best, in Uncle Owen's opinion, if Luke's soulmate never shows up at all).

He's seen soulmate couples and non soulmate couples equally happy. He doesn't need a soulmate to be happy, he knows that. A part of him thinks regardless of who his soulmate is Luke should meet them. Even if he has to break his promises to Aunt Beru and Uncle Own to do it.

He doesn't.

Uncle Owne and Aunt Beru need him to help out around the farm. If Luke breaks his promise to wait for his soulmate to come to him then what's to stop him from breaking his other promises to stay and help? If Luke leaves he won't come back, at least not to stay, and so he waits.

By the time he's seventeen Luke thinks he's going to leave Tatooine for the Imperial Flight Academy before he meets his soulmate.

In the aftermath of fleeing Tatooine and joining the Rebellion and taking out the Deathstar Luke is mostly right.

It took Boba a couple days to notice he had a soul thread. To be fair he was in the middle of a hunt, things were going to shit, and galactic politics were making everything worse. Boba was convinced by the time he was ten he wasn't going to have a soulmate. Hadn't really wanted one at that point seeing how sad Dad's loss made him.

There was a time, briefly, after Dad died that Boba wished he had a soul thread just so he wasn't alone. Just so he had somewhere, someone, to go to instead of nothing. It was a brief thing before Boba settled back into being grateful for having one less thing that could hurt him.

The soul thread mocked him.

He was thirteen and his soulmate was a newborn. The idea freaked him out. He didn't want to meet his soulmate as a baby. Kriff, he didn't want to meet his soulmate as a kid. Kark, Boba was probably better off not meeting them at all but he promised Dad.

On the days Dad would be sad and drink and rub at where his soulmate thread used to be he'd make Boba promise to look for his soulmate, if he ever got one. Boba couldn't not look even if he didn't want to. He didn't have to look right away though.

Twenty, Boba promised himself, when my soulmate is twenty I'll go find them.

His soulmate was two when Boba realized they lived on Tatooine. They had to be planetside for the way the thread moved as he chased bounties there. It'd be so easy to find them but they were a baby. Boba didn't want to meet his soulmate as a baby or as a kid. He wanted them to both be adults cause otherwise he'd be no better than Aurra.

The temptation was always there and that was surprising. Boba hadn't thought he'd ever want the connection to someone a soulmate thread promised. Twenty, he promised himself and it slowly went from an obligation he dreaded to something he anticipated.

Twenty was too damn long a wait, Boba realized as he watched the Millenium Falcon flee the planet with his soulmate thread unmistakingly trailing after it.

It was a cold comfort to know that at the very least his soulmate wasn't Solo.

They both move around too much to make tracking easy after that.

Boba hates it.

Luke is too busy to think anything of it.

Vader has a job for Boba, to find the pilot that blew up the Death Star. Normally, Boba would complete such a job without a second thought. Normally the galaxy wasn't laughing in his face because his soulmate was the pilot.

Boba could no more hand his soulmate over to Vader than he could discard his father's armor. Jango Fett mourning the loss of his soulmate were the clearest memories Boba had of his dad anymore. He didn't want that to be him and Vader would make that him.

He still goes looking for information. Boba has to give Vader something and his soulmate's name would become common knowledge eventually. They were too much a hero to the Rebels to be kept quiet. Boba just had to get the name to Vader first.

It was a fine plan until Boba realized his soulmate was back on Tatooine. Boba couldn't avoid a confrontation or meeting, depending on one's point of view.

It doesn't take much to chase off the Tuskens ramshacking Kenobi's home and wait.

Luke is lost in thought as he makes his way to Ben's home. The Rebels want him to be a Jedi, they need him to be a Jedi. Luke has barely started his training and everyone is quick to realize he is little more than an average person with a lightsaber. He needs to do better, be better, but he doesn't know where to start and maybe Ben left him something. He has to at least look.

It isn't until he's within sight of Ben's hut that Luke realizes his soulmate is inside it. Luke considers walking away but he walks forward instead. He's curious to learn why his soulmate waited so long and why they're here now. Besides, he needs to look through Ben's things and Luke doesn't think he can wait for his soulmate to leave.

"Luke Skywalker," his soulmate greets Luke as he steps inside, voice modulated by the helmet he wears.

"Boba Fett," Luke says, a bit numb. He's lived long enough on Tatooine to have heard of Boba Fett even if they never met. The armor is too distinctive to be anyone else.

Boba steps forward, closing the distance between them. One of the most dangerous people in the galaxy is coming towards him and Luke feels nothing but a sense of anticipation. They're practically chest to chest when Boba leans forward to rest his helmet against Luke's forehead.

"Su'cuy gar, ner runi," Boba Fett says and Luke closes his eyes as he leans into the gesture and words and the wealth of emotions so carefully not being said but there for Luke to feel.

Then Artoo ruins the moment by trying to shock prod Boba Fett as they yell threats in binary.

#star wars #boba fett #luke skywalker #boba/luke #bolu #I WAS ALL READY FOR FIRST WORDS #OR NAMES OR VISION OR SHARED DREAMS #I HAD IDEAS FOR ALL THOSE #i was not prepared for red string of fate

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heavenspat-a-blog · 7 years

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a problematic fave : going full dweeb to watch today’s gintama live !

#░ █ ❛ I CAN SMELL THE SWEETS OFF OF YOUR BREATH. —— ( OOC. )#( selfie. )#there were sum things i didnt understand in the movie like #takasugi's crotch shot #or bansai not being mentioned #or even sadaharu humping something bc that never happened animanga - wise #or even u know elizabeth turning into a glitch or something when nizou sliced thru her like wha t #JNKJGKJEN but all in all it's such a great !!!!!!!!!! will 13/10 watch again #i cried @ the opening credits #oguri is my man #n e wayz here's ur problematic fave going full weeb n wearing every gintama clothing he has #like goddamn man goddamn this is it #i can die now #there were sum parts that the characterisation seemed force #like gintoki picking his nose a lOT N LASTING 4 5 minutes or something #like yo no #or takasugi saying 'doke' 2 takechi ? like huh #or why gintoki mistakes elizabeth for q-taro #asdfghjkl

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hamliet · 5 years

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Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Or, one of the funniest, most self-aware satires I’ve ever read that manages to be genuinely emotional and powerful even through its satire.

(it is getting a donghua adaptation later this year(?) so the images are taken from designs and the trailer for that)

This novel is by the same author as Mao Dao Zu Shi, and again even though it’s technically boy’s love, its characters shine as the heart of the story. The characters might be hyperbolized in some ways, but they never lose the core of which makes a character seem human.

I also enjoy reading works by authors I enjoy because you can generally pick up which themes are important to them, and how they refine and explore these themes and ideas in different ways in different stories (like for example, Dostoyevsky’s The Adolescent is very clearly a prototype for what he would later masterfully explore in The Brothers Karamazov). Luo BingHe is absolutely a prototype Jin GuangYao from MDZS, right down to the skeptical birth situation, terrible father, desperation to be noticed, etc.

The story is also well aware of its role as a boy’s love novel and pokes fun at the readers for their expectations, but also pokes fun at itself for subverting and then fulfilling said expectations in thematically interesting ways. The roles of the characters (Shen Yuan becoming Shen QingQiu, who is technically Luo BingHe’s mentor at first) made me slightly uncomfortable, but it’s also kind of supposed to, because it’s a satire (and he isn’t technically the same person, and he isn’t technically a different age, etc.--see, it’s poking fun at both stereotypical BL conventions, while also poking fun at fan shipping culture in a way that really does cause you to critically think and evaluate it).

Because the novel that the MC is transmitigated into is a “stallion” novel (aka a harem). The story then goes on to explore the stereotypes of all the female characters who would have been a part of his harem, and allows them their own stories and arcs that are not centered around the protagonist. Ning YingYing was of course a standout among the female cast, and the story criticizes stories that sideline females as stereotypes.

Probably my favorite part was how aware the novel is of fan culture. Oh, gods, is it aware of fan culture in all its glory and beauty and ugliness. It pokes fun at fans for their investment, but at the same time shows the beauty and power of said investment and doesn’t “lol freaks” fans. It shows how the well-meaning fans can sometimes fail to get their intentions across and can discourage a writer, and how ill-meaning fans can really do harm. It allows everyone humanity, in other words. The writer is affected by fans and at the same time it points out the writer’s failings when he’s transmitigated into the novel as cannon-fodder (a red shirt), and how his failings can be genuinely hurtful too

(for example, Luo BingHe's harem of barely-fleshed out women reduces his character by denying him the kind of love he wants, and the female characters don’t deserve it because they have a ton of potential to write their own stories, and is actually the writer compensating for his own issues). That being said the author feels like cannon-fodder, and the story that he wrote for his self-esteem backfires, and *spoilers* he gets a great ending I’ve had that spoiled for me and he deserves it.

So basically, it doesn’t vindicate anyone in the quagmire that is fandom, but it doesn’t condemn anyone either.

Thematically, the story explores ideas of fate/God and free will. Weighty stuff, but it does it with empathy and nuance. It asks what is necessary to create a good story in real life and in fiction, and asks how real life and fiction both impact each other (nuaaaance). It questions what kind of suffering is necessary for character development.

It explores the typical “pride and prejudice” dilemma and shows how preconceived notions--even if understandable--can damage a relationship before it even starts. It asks you to reevaluate empathy for even the “scummiest” characters as well, which MDZS will later do too.

It’s also vastly aware of what good writing is in general convention, and is so funny and relatable for better and for worse I still can’t stop laughing. Like, this was totally me with TG:

And the system. The system (which transmitigates Shen Yuan the weeb into Shen QingQiu the villain) was so self-aware. “Being docked 50 OOC points,” rewarded “coolness points,” the system’s idea of saving him being tearing his shirt off (aka aware of the hot villains appeal throughout history)--it’s like the internet, and Shen Yuan thereby finds himself being picked apart like he picked apart this novel--but it isn’t saying it’s bad to do so, either, because the system does help, but neither is it avoiding how that can be really painful and not always worth it.

And. And. The ship. It had a Mutsurie moment: the moment where one of the characters is at their worst, and another character decides to embrace them anyways. I cried.

It’s excellent as a premise and as a novel, though (still like 15 chapters from the end, thank you translators) I don’t think it’s as polished or as deep a story as MDZS. But that’s okay. It’s a solid 9 out of 10 for me.

so anyways when am I waking up as Furuta.

#scum villain's self-saving system #scum villain #luo binghe #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #ning yingying #bingqiu #hamliet reviews

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lissacrevan · 5 years

Text

Corps Unsolved: The Legend of the Headless Horseman

A/N: Hello, my beautiful weebs! Okay, wrong opening. Also, I’m not CDawgVA, so this feels wrong. Anyway, this is one of my first stories, so please leave some feedback! Also, please be kind about it! Don’t be like, “Hey, Lissa, you fucking did this part wrong you piece of shit.” Because then I’ll find you and sit at the foot of your bed while I eat your food and watch you sleep.

Just kidding! I’m strange, but not that strange. Please let me know if I’ve missed any warnings and if Hanji and Levi are too...out of character.

Also, thanks to @pizza564738 for giving me this idea after one of my incorrect quotes. Really. Thanks dude.

WARNINGS: Language (It’s Levi. Self-explanatory.) and possible OOCness.

*insert awesome intro music here*

“This week on Corps Unsolved, we investigate this location as part of our ongoing investigation into the question: are ghosts real?” Hanji asks, staring into the camera.

The camera pans over Levi’s typical stoic face. He shakes his head no.

“I will continue to say this until the day I die. There’s no such thing as ghosts.”

Hanji grins, their eyes glimmering with the thrill of the challenge. “Well, it’ll be all the sweeter when I make you a believer, Ackerman.” They sling their arm over his shoulder. He makes an irritated face and brushes it off. “Today we’ll be diving into our investigation on the Headless Horseman.”

The iconic duo is in Ikebukuro for the first episode of their next Supernatural season.

The screen turns black as the first piece of evidence Hanji found during their research appears.

“The Headless Horseman is a mythical figure that has appeared in folklore all throughout history. It has been seen as far back as the Middle Ages. As the name suggests, the Headless Horseman is seen as a rider without a head.”

Some text appears on the screen.

~~~~~~~~

‘Now hold on just a second.’

‘Yeah.’

‘You’re telling me--you’re telling me that this guy just rode around without a head?’

‘Basically.’

‘That’s not how this works, Shitty Glasses.’

‘He’s mythical, Levi.’

‘But he doesn’t have a head?’

‘He carries it.’

‘So his neck is just a stump?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Like Erwin’s arm?’

‘Yeah. Like his arm. Erwin, if you’re watching this, we’re sorry about that.’

‘Yeah. Sorry.’

~~~~~~~~

The screen shows more information.

“The Headless Horseman has been depicted many times in the media in works such as The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, and Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow. There have been many renditions throughout various places on the planet. In American Folklore, the Headless Horseman’s story starts during the American Revolutionary War in Sleepy Hollow, New York. Legend has it that the Horseman was a Hessian trooper who was killed due to decapitation by American cannonball during the Battle of White Plains in 1776.”

Levi snorts. Mikasa turns the camera to him.

“You’re telling me that he died due to an American cannonball decapitating him?”

Hanji nods then quickly proceeds to frown. “That’s really insensitive of you, Levi. People suffer bad injuries during wars, y’know?”

“Ah yes, side effects of joining the war include, but are not limited to: nausea, fatigue, shortness of breath, missing heads, and in extreme cases death.”

“Levi, you’re offending so many people out there,” Mikasa mutters, working the camera.

“Karma’s going to get you,” Hanji says in a singsong voice. They arrive in front of a field. “Well, we’re in Ikebukuro in Japan with our Corps Worth It Boys, Erwin and Mike. We’re also following a lead on the Headless Rider.”

~~~~~~~~

‘You’re telling me that we came all the way to Japan to follow up a lead on something that’s probably not real?’

‘…’

‘Our fucking cats are at home with fucking Eren Jagär watching them. He can’t take care of shit.’

‘I will not deny the truth in that statement.’

‘Even fucking Mikasa agrees with me.’

(wheeze) ‘You two finally agree on something, and of all things, it’s Eren being unable to take care of anything. You heard it here first, folks! The Ackerman cousins agree on something!’

~~~~~~~~

They’re now standing in front of a park, and Hanji holds the iconic spirit box in their hands.

“I’m going to turn this on, and whoever’s here can communicate with us.” Hanji places the box on a rock.

“I hate that thing. It just makes radio noises.”

Hanji rolls their eyes and turns it on. “If anyone who’s seen or been killed the Headless Horseman is here right now, make your presence known.”

“Because they’re totally going to want to talk about the very being that killed them.”

The box continues to make crackling noises and little bits and pieces of words are being made out by Hanji.

“Po...potato? You want a potato?” They ask, looking at the box weirdly. “Hmphh.”

“It just sounds like static.”

“Or is it a p...panda?”

“So much for your ghosts.”

More information prior to their visit to Ikebukuro appears on the screen.

“In Irish folklore, the Headless Horseman is referred to as a Dullahan. A Dullahan is a headless, demonic fairy that also carries its head and wields a whip made out of a human corpse’s spine. It is said that when a Dullahan stops riding, death will occur.”

Hanji and Levi appear on the screen. It’s almost pitch-black outside, but with the power of editing and Mikasa’s camerawoman skills, it doesn’t seem too dark. Well, the power of editing, Mikasa’s camerawoman skills, and the fact that they’re carrying flashlights.

“Ikebukuro is said to have a person named the Headless Rider that roams the streets. Hence, the reason we’re here,” Hanji says. They shine their flashlight in Levi’s face. He covers his face and pushes it away. “They say they wear a helmet, and there’ve been rumors of them without a head.”

“I said this earlier, and I’m going to say it again. You brought us all the way to Japan to follow up on a lead on something that’s probably not real?”

“So you admit it could be real?”

Levi crosses his arms over his chest. “Well, if I see it, I’ll believe it.”

They arrive in front of an old, abandoned house. “There have been sightings of the Headless Horseman here for years. They say he’ll show up around midnight and kill anyone who’s inside the house.”

“That sounds like something parents tell their brats to keep them out of abandoned houses.”

“That’s definitely a possibility,” Mikasa says from behind the camera.

“Now, let’s get into some theories on the sightings. Our first theory is Levi’s personal favorite. It’s some guy dressed up in a long coat with the collar so popped up, you can’t see his head. And he carries around a head that you’d see at a Halloween store.”

~~~~~~~~

‘Of course, that’s my favorite theory. Some guy fucking around with people and scaring them so much they end up shitting their pants.’

‘Well...I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but it would make the most sense.’

‘So you’re agreeing with me that the Dullahan or Headless Horseman or whatever they are isn’t real.’

*gasp* ‘I never said that.’

‘You just said that it’d make the most sense.’

‘Doesn’t mean I agree with you.’

‘...Fuck you...’

~~~~~~~~

“Our second, and last theory is the Headless Rider, or Black Rider, of Ikebukuro being a Headless Horseman. As previously stated, people have been rumored to have seen them without their helmet on, revealing no head.”

~~~~~~~~

‘Wait, who’s the Headless Rider? I mean...you mentioned them before, but didn’t say too much.’

‘I have no idea. Could be a he or she...’

‘I thought you did research.’

‘I did! I was going to ask some locals, but we had to head out that morning, and I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t want some lady coming up to their door at, what, midnight, asking them about one of the inhabitants of their town?’

‘...I’m only saying this once, but you do have a point...’

(wheeze)

~~~~~~~~

“It’s almost midnight!” Hanji exclaims, jumping around. “We’re going to have evidence that proves the Dullahan is real!”

“Or just a typical loss for your...what are you guys called?”

“I don’t know…”

“Wait, what are we called?”

“We haven’t come up with names for ourselves?!” Hanji starts freaking out. “It’s been three seasons, and we still don’t have names?”

Mikasa, from behind the camera, maneuvers herself so she can hold the camera while checking for the time.

“It’s less than thirty seconds to midnight.”

“Okay, once it’s midnight, I’m going to turn on the box,” Hanji whispers. They are visibly shaking at this point. Shaking due to their excitement, of course. Not fear. The thirty seconds pass, and Hanji turns on the spirit box.

“If anyone is here, you can use this box to make contact with us. I’m Hanji, and my vertically-challenged friend here is Levi.”

“Vertically-challenged?” Levi asks, flicking Hanji’s forehead.

“Oww.”

The box continues to flip through radio stations as the wind from outside begins to pick up in speed.

“It’s getting real fucking windy out there.”

“Maybe the Black Rider?”

“Or maybe if you’d check the forecast, you’d see that it’s supposed to be really windy tonight.”

Hanji begins to hear the loud thrum of a motorcycle going down the road and freaks out. Levi looks bored, and Hanji thinks he must not have heard the noise. The thrum slowly gets louder until it stops in front of the house.

“Ohmygoddidyouhearthat?”

Levi and Mikasa look at them. “It’s the wind, Shitty Glasses.”

“No, I swear I heard a motorcycle,” They whisper. “And it stopped in front of the house.”

“It’s the wind, Hanji.”

“No, I heard a motorcycle. I swear.”

Levi rolls his eyes. “Do you want me to go check outside?” He asks, crossing his arms.

“No. What if you die? In the legend, if someone looks outside while the Dullahan is outside, they’ll die.”

“Is that what it said?”

“I think.”

Levi moves to open the door. He is met with the sight of trees in the distance, the mailbox in front of the house, and rolling fields for miles. And the wind blowing everything. You can’t forget that.

“Hey, fucking Dullahan!” He shouts.

Hanji gasps. “Levi!”

“Fucking Dullahan!” He stands outside with his arms spread open. “Come and motherfucking kill me! Take my head off my shoulders! Gut me!”

“Do you have a death wish?” Hanji hisses. “Stop taunting it!”

Levi stands outside for a few more seconds, sighing as nothing but wind attacks him. He makes his way back inside and shuts the door, turning to find Hanji hiding behind Mikasa.

“Get out from behind the brat.”

Their head slowly peaks up. The tops of their glasses glint with the moonlight.

“You’re not dead?”

“Let’s get out of here, Hanji.”

The trio begins to exit the house, Mikasa going first to get the video.

“Well, it was nice while it lasted,” Hanji says, shutting the door.

“Goodbye fucking filthy house. I never want to see you again unless I get to clean you. Or you’re clean.”

~~~~~~~~

“The story of the Headless Horseman has made its way through many eras and cultures, frightening many with its tale. To this day, many have claimed to see them and many still tell its story. But is the Headless Horseman real or just a story? We are still left with many questions after our visit to Ikebukuro, and for now, the legend of the Headless Horseman will remain Unsolved.”

*insert awesome outro music here*

~~~~~~~~

Little did Levi, Mikasa, or Hanji know, there were motorcycle tracks heading back into the city and a relieved Celty Sturluson on her familiar. Boy, was she going to have a story to tell Shinra.

Let me know if I should do more of these Buzzfeed Unsolved AUs for Hanji and Levi! Or if I should do a Worth It: Food/Lifestyle type thing for Erwin and Mike!

~~~~~~~~

UPDATE: I went back and changed Hanji’s pronouns to they/them, since I didn’t have them as such the first time I wrote this. I hadn’t realized at that point in time that their gender was never specified (the portrayal of Hanji in the anime vs. them in the manga; I was anime-only when I wrote this), and I wanted to come back and fix this.

#buzzfeed unsolved au #levi ackerman #hanji zoe #hange zoe #hanji zoe is the less scared version of ryan bergara #levi ackerman is the shane madej #attack on titan au #attack on titan #fanfiction #au #alternate universe #celty sturluson #dullahan #mikasa ackerman #anime #source: buzzfeed unsolved #well buzzfeed unsolved inspired

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bride-and-bride · 5 years

Text

Let’s Get Personal! (OOC)

I was a bit surprised to be tagged in this sort of thing but I did my best to fill it out right! Just please don’t judge my music tastes, god, please, I’m a terrible weeb

Star sign: Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, Gemini Rising, like, if you want to do my full ass horoscope for some reason

Put your playlist on shuffle and list the first four songs that pop up:

Guilty Night, Guilty Kiss - Aqours, Guilty Kiss sub-unit

Your Eyes - Jin ft. Soraru

Love-Colored Girl - TaNaBaTa

Therefore, You and Me - TadanoCo

Grab the nearest book to you and turn to page 23, what line is 17?

“I think we were, er, getting on with it,” said Mr. Young. -Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

Ever had a poem written about you?

Oh god, I don’t THINK so?

When was the last time you played the air guitar?

Never, actually... IDK why, I’ll drum to things but I have no Guitar Instinct.

One sound you hate and one you love:

Hate: The sound of loose flour on a cutting board being moved around. It makes my skin crawl and keeps me from doing anything with bread or pastries, I just hate it so much ;-; Love: My cat purring. Stormy has the loudest, most rumbly purr, and he does it constantly whenever he’s near someone he loves...!

Do you believe in ghosts?

Perhaps real but no where near as common as people assume, I think.

Do you believe in aliens?

In theory... like! The universe is huge beyond comprehension, so my feeling is we’re not in a vacuum in terms of intelligent life... just maybe alone in the Milky Way.

Do you drive and if so have you gotten in a crash?

I drive! I’ve never gotten into a serious crash but I’ve had some rough accidents... once when I was young, I was in the car with my mom, sister, and a friend when the engine suddenly started smoking. We had to pull over to the side of the road and all get out a few minutes before it began to catch fire... another time I had been driving on very little sleep, having been working SUPER early morning shifts that I wasn’t used to. I fell asleep at the wheel, on a busy road, while it was raining... I was seriously lucky that when I spun out I didn’t hit anyone or anything. Though apparently I’d been swerving all over the road and the police arrived shortly after bc someone had called me in as a drunk driver.

Don’t ever drive while you’re too tired.

Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Just a little bit.

Last movie you’ve seen?

Um! I’m not sure... I think the last thing I saw in THEATERS was the My Hero Academia movie?

Worst injury you’ve ever had?

I’ve been pretty lucky... the worst accident I’ve gotten in was probably just the time I cut the webbing between my thumb and fore finger on a can. I’m a sickly bug, not an accident-prone one.

Do you have any obsessions right now?

I can’t stop watching slime videos... They hit the perfect point of satisfaction for my dumb lil brain, and I’m dying to just bite the bullet and make some.

Do you hold grudges?

Rarely. I try my best to practice forgiveness... to give people the benefit of the doubt, to believe others will change, to let things go! (My memory is also bad to the point where I often forget people who’ve hurt me, like, entirely.) I’m far more likely to hold a grudge for a friend... If someone mistreats someone I care about, then they better go above and beyond and apologize 1000% or else I’ll never forget >:I

In a relationship?

With a pretty great partner, for quite some time now! I’m currently semi-kinda sort of looking at dating someone new, but I’m pretty shy and a bit bad at relationships... he’s cheerin me on, tho! I gotta try~!

Tagged by: @lukelxiv (thank you! I put it on my rp blog since it made more sense~)

Tagging: UMMMMMM I-IDK OFF HAND, IF U THINK THIS LOOKS COOL please go ahead and tag me

#car accident tw #behind the brides #that picture is me irl #ive like tripped and scraped my knee and been bitten by a dog but I've never needed stiches #instead my hospital visits were for mysterious conditions and surgeries and sad times

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