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#only took me uh fifteen chapters to get some action in here
helpimhyperfixating · 3 years
Text
Captive Together - Mer!Jotaro x Mer!Reader P1
Okay, fair warning, this oneshot is LONG. Like, really really long. I divided it into 4 parts but still every chapter is a monster. I edited it best I could, but when it takes a whole day to do so, you can get tired and unattentive, lol. This whole thing got out of hand and it is weird, but I like it. With that out of the way, enjoy some Mer!Joot 😌
Part 1  |  Part 2  |  Part 3  |  Part 4
Word Count: 8531
Opening your eyes, you winced a little at the stinging jab of pain that shot through your abdomen. With sluggish movements, you drifted forward until you could feel your hand hit glass. 
Right. You were in that human facility...
How did you end up in this mess again?
- - - -
“Quick! Go! Go!!” Your voice was urgent and a little panicked, scaring the two pups in front of you to do as you asked. They didn’t know who you were, where you came from, and if you were even able to be truly trusted, but the looming shadow closing in on your location and the terrifying rumble and roar of - what they thought was - a shark was enough to spur them into doing whatever you said.
You had just been swimming by, travelling from place to place looking for a place to live, maybe even a pod who’d accept you. And that was when you spotted the two pups, all by themselves and playing with the sand on the ocean floor, no adults in sight.
Seeing how big and mischievous their grins were, you quickly realised they had most likely snuck away from their pod; bringing back some memories from when you had done that yourself. 
With a good-natured sigh, you started to swim over, deciding to take them back to their pod before something would happen.
“Hey, you two.” You clicked out as you approached them calmly, a warm smile on your face. Upon the sound of a voice, the two - they couldn’t have been older than 1,5 years - shot their heads up, eyes comically widening. “What’re you playing?” You asked as you bridged the remaining gap, letting yourself float down to sit on the seabed close to them about two meters away; giving them a little bit of space yet also sitting close enough, to show them you meant no harm.
“We’ve never seen this kind of sand before.” The pup with a pretty, dark blue tail and impressive hairdo spoke up a little meekly and your smile widened just a little bit more at the sweet answer, making both kids relax a bit.
“So you decided to come out here and play in it?”
“Mhm!” The other pup, with a darker grey tail and two markings running crossed down his face, hummed happily, his voice sounding gruff as if he had spent a week in the Red Sea, even at his young age.
“Soo, you didn’t sneakily sneak away from your pod and parents to go exploring the big blue and happened to stumble across this seabed with sand you hadn’t seen before, right?” You questioned cheekily, leaning your chin in your hand as you raised a teasing eyebrow.
Both their eyes widened a bit and you chuckled while the pup with the hairdo curled in a bit on himself. “Are we in trouble?” 
“Not with me, no.” You smiled, making him come out of his shell a bit again. “With your parents however? I can’t say.” Now they were both making themselves small, guilty looks on their faces. “C’mon, I’m sure it will be fine.” You reassured them as you pushed yourself off the seabed, swimming over to the two pups until you were in right by them and placing a hand on either of their backs. “It’s best to get you back to your pod now though.”
“O-Okay.”
You hummed a little and pushed them gently to start swimming, one on either side of you. You looked between them both, seeing the anxious looks on their faces and decided to try and distract them a bit as you chaperoned them back. You happened to have noticed a pod took up residence in this area and these two smelled like they came from it, so you knew where to go. You also knew that pod was quite a ways away so you had to find a way to fill the time anyways.
“So, what are your names?”
“I-I’m Josuke, that’s Okuyasu.”
You hummed a little, giving them both another smile. “So, how long ago did you sneak out?”
“Uh, the sun was about there.” Josuke pointed up to where the sun had stood in the sky when they left, filtering through the surface of the water at an angle that told you they snuck out about an hour ago.
“Hm, well, maybe no one in your pod has noticed your absence yet and I can help you two sneak back in!” You started in a secretive voice, making both pups perk up. Okuyasu drifted a little closer to you and grabbed your hand, Josuke seeing and doing the same on your other side, nodding happily at you.
To be honest, you highly doubted no one had noticed their absence, but swimming with two anxious pups was something you would rather avoid. Not only because you feared your lack of experience would make you unable to handle it, but also because anxious pups meant slow pups, and matching their pace when they were anxiously swimming in dread for what was to come was about the most nail biting experience one could have.
“So, why did you swim out so far th-“ whatever you were going to ask was interrupted when your ears picked up on the distant sounds of a motorboat. 
Your eyes widening in alarm, the two pups noticed the warning signals you automatically gave off and soon picked up on the noise as well, seeing as the boat was speeding closer very fast. 
Now, humans were aware of the existence of Mer, but this was supposed to be a protected area. So if there were humans here, especially those with the loud motors? That could only mean bad news.
“Quick! Go! Go!!” You wrenched your hands from their grips before starting to push on their backs, trying to urge them to go.
Okuyasu let a feared whine escape from his throat while Josuke immediately employed the tactic he had been taught to use whenever in danger: call out.
“Shark! Shark!” He trilled out in a panic, the trills and clicks of his voice carrying a lot further through the water than at his normal pitch and volume, soon joined by Okuyasu in the same fashion as he remembered what he was supposed to do.
While you were glad they had their security systems in order, you knew how clever humans were, especially those who went against the rules set in place, and you feared that they might hear the two pups.
“Ssh, ssh, I’ll keep you safe from the shark! Let’s hide between those rocks, come on!!” You managed to grab both their little hands again and frantically dragged them along with you as you swam full speed towards the rocks that sat about forty meters away, both Josuke and Okuyasu too shocked by the sudden speed they were being pulled along with to keep shouting warnings in panic.
It was dangerous to get to the rocks. The boat was almost right above you by now and to get to safety, you had to swim with the pups underneath the belly of the thing. The water was crystal clear today and the chances of being seen were high.
Safety for the pups was your one and only priority though and so you gunned it.
With an incredible speed, you shot through the water, making full use of your tail as you dragged the poor kids with you, them trying their best to flap their tails and help swim - although it was mainly for decoration and show by now.
Forty meters,
Thirty five,
Thirty,
You were now swimming directly underneath the boat and you tilted your head, keeping a wary eye on the thing as you saw it suddenly stop and rock, presumably from movement from the humans on top.
Twenty five,
A shape on the boat, barely able to be made out through the distortion of the water, tipped you off to the incoming danger and you immediately pulled Josuke and Okuyasu in, pushing them forward with all your might right before a sharp and searing pain shot past your left side.
From the boat, someone had thrown a harpoon down, the speed and angle serving to graze your side, creating a nasty cut on your waist that ran from there, diagonally over part of your stomach before the thing embedded itself in the sea floor.
A sharp and searing pain came in waves but you refrained from calling out, only hissing through your teeth with a small grunt before you shook your head, ignoring it for now as you saw a rope was attached to the end of the sharp stick. It was slowly wrenched free from the sand and you wasted no time in shooting past it, scooping Okuyasu and Josuke up in your arms as you rushed past them, seeing as they were clinging onto each other in shock as they saw you being hit.
“You’re bleeding!” 
“It’s okay!” You chirped back over the rush of water coming past as you tried to swim as fast as possible with the pain, leaving a trail of blood behind as you went.
Fifteen,
Ten,
Five,
“Okay, hide behind those rocks and stay there no matter what happens okay? Don’t come out until someone from your pod comes and gets you, do you understand?!” You shook them both a little, maybe not being the best course of action but you had to make your point clear.
“O-Okay!”
“Don’t make a sound either!” You called back over your shoulder as you started swimming away, secretly looking to see if they were well hidden and stayed put as you asked them to. You saw the both of them look at you with fear and anxiousness, peeking from behind the rocks, and sent them the last best reassuring smile you could muster before turning to look forward again and booking it. You were gonna save those pups if it cost you your damn life.
- - - -
Your fuzzy memory finally began to clear up a bit and you remembered how another boat came and chased the hunter’s one away. You had led the hunter’s boat away from the pups but got trapped in a cove, only for the new boat with science humans to come to your aid.
Upon seeing your injury, they got very concerned and offered to take you with them so they could treat you and help you.
Despite their honeyed words and friendly appearance though, there was one blaring warning signal. These humans that were claiming to trying to ‘help you’, smelled exactly like the ones from the boat that had injured you. Which meant these people had interacted; and not just in passing or a small falling out, no they spent a while with each other to have the scent rub off that heavily. 
In other words, these were no friends to you.
Despite knowing this, you had agreed to their offer. Those pups were still nearby, what could you have done? Maybe if they took you along they’d be satisfied, and never realise there were more Mer nearby. And so you allowed them to take you.
-
“Good news! Today the bandages come off and we are planning to transport you to a bigger tank while you further recover!” One of the humans you had come to see a little more often in your past two days in this tiny tank approached, that easily recognisable false smile on his face. Whenever he approached like that, there was something else behind it. Yet, you pretended to not notice, perking up in happiness and sloshing around in your tank like an excited puppy despite the pain that brought.
“For me?” You asked. Your human English was a little rusty and sounded somewhat garbled, which was no surprise given how you had to use completely different parts of your vocal cords to speak it, but at least it was understandable.
“Yes!” He grinned before stepping even closer. “And! Inside there is a surprise! Around the same time as we found you, we found another Mer, stuck in a fishing net. They’re in the tank you will be transferred to today!” He sounded genuinely happy this time and you realised with a bit of horror he probably saw it all as a big experiment. Most likely wanting to see how two of the same species reacted upon meeting. “It’s that one over there!” He pointed behind himself to a large tank on the opposite end of the large room.
You had noticed this tank almost immediately when you first got to this facility. After all, why were you stuffed into a tiny tank that was more fitted to fit an octopus rather than the large tank that was available right there? But if it housed another Mer then that was logical. Probably a bigger Mer than you as well.
You had seen the scientists hover around it but you never saw any creature inside when you looked at it.
Would it be a male or female waiting for you in there? Given the man’s excitement however, you had a hunch. All you could say was you hoped they hadn’t been injured by the humans to bring in like you were.
- - - -
You spent the rest of the day just trying everything in your power to annoy the ever living fuck out of the scientists around.
You were in a small glass tank, barely big enough to let you stretch your tail out fully and with an open top, allowing you to communicate.
Sloshing around and making water spill over the tank was one of your favourite things to do, your goal to make the papers in the hands of the scientists wet or to make them slip and slam a few teeth out on the floor. If they glare at you, you just acted like it was completely involuntary, having pain in your injury, or the need to move being the cause of you sloshing and splashing so much.
Your next method of annoying scientists was: throwing the small ball they had given you directly to their heads. It was a small yellow thing, apparently filled with air so that it would float on the water. And just the perfect size to lob at someone’s head.
Of course, if they turned around angry, ball in hand, you’d act as if it was all a game. All a game your dumb and simple mind could come up with. And so the scientists just let it happen, picking up the ball and begrudgingly returning it to you every time so you wouldn’t start sadly whining like some puppy.
And that was exactly what your goal was; to convince them you were no smarter than a seal.
Of course, you had the ability of speech, but you intentionally kept your vocabulary in the low. Talking a bit like a pup, with missing or incorrectly pronounced words while the rest of your behaviour mirrored it.
You smiled a lot, indulging the scientists in questions about Mer life that you answered ‘as best you could’ while in reality you were stringing lie after lie after lie. You pretended to be their friend, just like they did to you. What comes around, gets around, after all.
Sometimes though, when you were talking to the humans, you felt as if there were eyes on you. And not the scientist eyes or the camera eyes, but angrier ones.
-
As the morning bled into noon, you noticed how warily the scientists were being around the big tank. It was open at the top same as yours and reached until about the human’s midriff, but the rest of the tank disappeared into the floor for it was probably a lot deeper than it seemed to you if there was another Mer in there that you’d never even seen before.
But, noticing how hesitant the humans were to stick their head over the glass and look down, you figured you’d test them a little. 
No one was really paying attention to- or around you, so you picked up your little yellow ball - the only entertainment you had - and tested its weight a few times before chucking it so hard and so far that it soared over everyone’s heads and plopped right in the bigger tank.
As it landed, you cheered as if it had been your childish goal all along before expectantly looking at the humans. They were, after all, expected to bring it back to you.
Much to your internal delight, you watched how the humans looked back at you in horror and disbelief. It all but confirmed your suspicions that whoever was in there, was very much not happy. And different from you, they decided to go the aggressive route.
When none of the scientists made a move to retrieve your ball for you, you started to make a little whining noise in the back of your throat, making puppy eyes and starting to look all sad.
If the Mer in there indeed went the aggressive route, that meant that your plan was still in full swing. For, if they only exuded aggression, the scientists wouldn’t necessarily see many signs of higher intelligence. They would most likely chock it up to animal instinct instead of genuine anger. Which meant you could continue playing as dumb as you liked without them getting suspicious.
“It’s okay! I’ll, uh... go get it for you!” One of the scientists spoke up towards you and you perked up a little, gripping the edge of your tank and pushing up a bit to mock excitement.
Curiously, you watched as he went to grab a long net on a stick. Was it not within arms reach? 
You watched as he walked back over to the tank and warily started inching the pole towards the ball. The entire thing shook with nervousness and you watched in awe as suddenly, out of nowhere, a large Mer shot up, slashing through the invading item and breaking it clean in half before disappearing below the floor again in a flash.
The scientist screamed in fear as the pole got cut clean through, the net falling down into the water before sinking, while one of the other humans went to comfort the scared one.
That was the best thing you had seen in all your time being here.
“What has been said about unauthorised interactment with the large tank?!” A large booming voice suddenly sounded from the door the humans constantly walked in and out of and you, together with all the scientists, turned your heads towards it.
“S-She threw her ball in there, I was just trying to get it back like protocol says!”
“She can go get it herself. We’re transferring her right now.”
All eyes turned to you with that and you shrunk a little, lowering yourself into the water until only your eyes shyly peeked out. Somehow you had a bad feeling about this.
- - - - 
Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad! BAD!
You were dangling in mid air on a crane or contraption, some sort of harness put around you and painfully rubbing against your wound. Mers healed faster than humans but your wound was still very much present and open and painful. Did they completely forget you had that or something?? They were even supposed to take off the bandaging today and they didn’t! Although right now it was your only protection from excruciating pain.
Your tail barely had any support and was basically dangling in mid-air, held up only by the fact and grace of being attached to you and your attempt of using your abdominal muscles to keep it steady. Unfortunately for you, that was where your wound was as well, so WAHEY!
You were cursing up a storm as the crane moved you across the room, hovering over the floor as if you were flying. To the scientists, it just sounded like a bunch of panicked clicks and trills, but for you, you were using language so colourful, it would make anyone blush.
Water dripped from you like stalactites in a wet cave and the only satisfaction you had in this moment was that it would make the floor a little slippery for the scientists, hopefully with at least one falling on their face. After what seemed like an excruciatingly long time but was only a few minutes, you were dangling over the larger tank. 
Your knuckles were white as you gripped onto the harness holding you up. You looked down and noticed how big it actually was. As you tried to gauge the depth from above the water however, the support holding you up clicked loose and you fell down into the tank, harness and all.
Thankfully, you managed to angle yourself to dive in at least a little gracefully instead of just belly flop in - which would be very bad from that height and with your injury.
As you fell into the water you had your arms protectively shielded over your head and your eyes screwed shut, but now you hesitantly blinked them open, bringing your arms down as you sunk down a tiny bit more before stopping.
Looking to your right, you were surprised to see several scientists looking through the glass. Apparently there was a room a floor lower which gave them perfect view of the big tank and the happenings inside it. They all had clipboards and notes and whatever, ready to record and write down everything that was about to happen.
That was the last thought you could really give it, for you suddenly saw something large and fast move from the bottom of the tank, all the way up to you.
Curling in on yourself on instinct, you looked up only to be met by one of the biggest and most intimidating Mer you had ever seen. His torso was in proportion to you but his tail was absolutely massive, almost twice the size of yours. It was strong and powerful looking, sleek black and probably about four or four and a half meters in length while his torso himself was impressive as well, muscle and raw power screaming from every inch of him.
How in the fuck were those scientists ever able to capture him?
His face was set in a glare and you instantly averted your eyes, displaying submissiveness as you turned your head and bowed it a little.
Now, you had wanted to display submissive behaviour from the beginning, just to keep your act up, no matter what kind of Mer was in here, but when you opened your mouth to try and talk and he growled in warning, you immediately slammed it shut. This shark Mer made it very easy. 
After a few more seconds of him glowering at you, you opted for safety and abruptly turned around, swimming down as fast as you could to the bottom of this 20-meter deep tank and shooting into the massive skull that sat there. You had to struggle to fit through the eye, the harness still on you hooking against it and hindering you even more, but with some squeezing and manoeuvring, you managed to get inside.
Looking out of one of the eyes, you saw he hadn’t really moved but was still glaring at you before letting out a ‘Tch’ and casually turning to the side, languidly swimming away and down to the corner opposite of the one you were in. 
There was a thick, white, concrete column in the middle of the tank, impeding your vision of him as he disappeared behind it.
Letting out the breath you were holding, you closed your eyes for a second before inhaling the water around you. It felt much cleaner and more crisp than the stuffy tank you had been forced to sit in, though the scent of the other Mer was very present as well. 
Looking down at yourself, you hissed a little and cursed out the humans as you grabbed hold of the harness and lifted it as far away from the wound on your side and stomach as possible. 
The skull you were in provided cover yes, but it was also half buried in sand and you barely had any room to move or even breathe, let alone try to get that damn harness off. Going out while the shark Mer was around and wary of you seemed like a bad idea however so you just stayed put, opting to wait until night before getting out and trying to get the damn thing off.
So, in the time you were waiting, you decided to try and figure out what the fuck kind of skull you were in. It was slanted and half buried in sand, elongated jaw with big round eye sockets. It sure as hell wasn’t any animal you knew of. You even started doubting if it was a real animal at all. When you touched it it definitely didn’t feel like bone at least.
Several hours passed like that and you finally peeked your head out the eyehole again. 
The tank itself was not too bad. The bottom was filled with sand and rocks, water plants and seaweed and such sticking out and growing from it, making it look rather natural. 
With some effort, you squeezed yourself out of the eyehole again, hissing as you scraped your wound before settling on the sand right in front of the skull and starting to wriggle and tug at the harness.
Why did the humans do it like this? Weren’t they supposed to take it off? Or were they so afraid of your new tank-mate that they just decided ‘fuck it, you’re on your own’?
Aggravated, you attempted to pull it over your head. Unsuccessful. 
You tried to unclasp it. The clasps are at the back where you can’t reach. Unsuccessful.
You attempted to pull it apart. You are not strong enough. Unsuccessful. 
By now you were running out of options and just violently tugging at the constricting thing. It sat over your gills on your neck, making it hard to breathe - though that didn’t stop you from spitting every curse in the book at the scientists who were undoubtedly still watching, even if the glass where they stood earlier was as dark as the night. 
A flutter of the water suddenly reached your ears and you snapped your head up to see the shark Mer quickly swimming towards you, angry and with a murderous look in his eye. 
Under optimal circumstances you would have hidden somewhere he couldn’t fit, like the skull. Unfortunately for you, you were wearing a harness and also wouldn’t be able to get inside fast enough. 
With not many options left, you darted to the left, quickly swimming away. Taking a glance back, you gasped when you saw he was in hot pursuit. With his larger tail he was quickly gaining but you shot to the side, cutting the corner around the concrete pillar in the middle as much as possible.
Looking to the left briefly, you spotted a corner where the sand was more tailored than everywhere else, a large indent where a body had been resting. 
That was all the time you got to look at it however, since you were already rounding the pillar again to show the skull you had been hiding in. 
Right now, you cursed yourself for darting. There was no way you could outswim him. You should have just rushed into the skull back there or stayed still, hoping he wouldn’t tear you apart. Now, all you could do was try to get back in the skull.
That was a vain hope however, as he had already caught up with you. 
Your blood froze as his right arm curled around your waist, ready to grab. Yet before he did, he hesitated. Instead, he allowed you to slip away a bit further before clamping his arm around your tail, tightly grabbing hold there as he forcefully stopped your momentum and yanked you back, grabbing your shoulders with both hands once in range.
In one smooth motion, he slammed you shoulders first into the concrete pillar before removing one hand and using the claws on it to rip straight through the harness still stuck on you. 
“Stop disturbing the water with your thrashing and sleep!” He growled out, a threatening undertone in his voice while his face was so close to yours.
You were breathing fast and staring back with wide eyes but it seemed he wanted an answer before he backed off so you nodded. 
Seemingly content with that, he rudely shoved you aside before lazily swimming away, flicking his hand to get rid of some excess fabric of the harness, his tail swishing side to side as he disappeared behind the pillar again to the corner he seemed to have taken up residence in, not looking back once.
You blinked a few times, looking at where he disappeared for some seconds before you swam up, swimming out of the harness with as little tail motion as possible.
Your breathing finally levelled and you turned back around, grabbing the remains of the harness and swimming over to the skull, draping the destroyed thing over a lip on the outside before squeezing into the eye. 
- - - -
Waking from your slumber, you got to work digging. 
You had a hunch this skull was going to be your home for the time being, so you decided to make a better way of entering and exiting. Digging through the sand laying in the mouth of the skull, you followed the elongated jaw and dug until you made a nice little opening that you wouldn’t have to squeeze through.
While you were digging, you noticed the other Mer swimming around. He avoided your little hovel but otherwise would not sit still. Making laps, checking the corners, running his hand along the wall of the tank as if testing it. 
Everything pointed to him wanting to get out of here, just as much as you did.
For now, you decided to keep staying out of his way though.
Right as you exited your skull, you were met with the powerful and intimidating form of the merman. There goes your plan. “What’re you doing?” He snapped at you almost, his tone curt and to the point.
You were still half inside but decided to just stay there like that, looking up at him. “I’m making an easier and less painful entrance.” You explained, motioning to the blood stained bandage on your side. It was designed to be worn under water but even so you doubted it was doing much good.
“Well, be more quiet, you’re making too much noise.” He growled before turning around, nearly hitting you with his tail fin as he went.
You were about one second away from giving him a well earned tap on said tail fin, but managed to refrain yourself at the last second.
“Wait.” You called out after him and he surprisingly enough stopped, looking back at you over his shoulder while you got out of the skull fully. “What’s your name?”
“...” 
He didn’t say anything for a second, just looking intently at you for a second, almost as if he was searching for something. Whatever he found he must have been satisfied with though.
“Jotaro.” 
A smile appeared on your face at his answer and that piqued his interest. For, when he had been watching you in the small tank opposite the room, you had smiled so much whenever the scientists interacted with you, and it had annoyed him to the point of making his blood boil. But now? Up close? He could see this was the first genuine smile you had given since arriving in this facility, even if it was timid.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N. Let’s get the fuck outta here soon, okay?”
Before anything else could be said, you heard your name being called from above. You had given it to the humans but that didn’t stop the pit of disgust when you heard it. Your face contorted for just a second before you steeled yourself and twisted it into the sweet innocent look the humans were used to.
Unknown to you, Jotaro warily watched you as you did that, sharp eyes following your form as you went to the skull and grabbed the harness laying on top before swimming up to the surface.
Shyly poking your head out of the water, you darted your eyes back and forth a bit before landing on the man standing right next to the edge of the tank who had called you.
“Good morning.” He smiled and you bobbed your head a bit in greeting. “Where is the harness?” He then asked and you let your hand drift to the surface, the broken harness in hand.
The man tutted a little but then stuck out his hand, taking it from you before moving it to his other hand and using the one in the water to motion you closer, pointing at the bandaging around your waist. “We didn’t have time to take a look at that yesterday. How about now, Hm?”
God how you wanted to bite his hand. Leave that damned harness on all night and then act like nothing happened? Claiming to just want to look at and take care of your wound again? It almost made you regret trying to trick them by acting dumb and nice.
Someone else didn’t have the gripe of trying to keep up the act of being friendly however.
Out of nowhere, Jotaro breached right in front of you, immediately diving back down and pushing you down with him while he violently smashed his tail against the scientists outstretched hand.
Said scientist screamed in pain as several of the bones snapped at the powerful strike, others rushing towards him while Jotaro just left the chaos behind and pushed you further down before abruptly letting go about halfway to the bottom.
“The fuck are you doing.” He snarled and you backed up a bit.
“What do you mean?”
“Interacting with them. What is your plan to get out of here that makes you need to get all friendly with them?” 
As he said that, you tried to steady your breathing. No matter his looks or his seeming temper, his mind was clearly not to be underestimated and already proved to be very sharp. He knew you were putting up an act.
“I’m trying to make them think I am no more intelligent than like, what? A four or three year old human?” You spoke, getting a little lost in thought thinking about human ages and their behaviours during it.
“Why.”
Jotaro’s voice snapped you out of it and you focused again.
“If they expect this level of intelligence from me-“ You kept your hand flat and stationary at the level of your bellybutton. “-they will tailor security measures and such around that level of intelligence. Humans like to cut corners. If they think I don’t know how to open a door, they won’t lock it.” You continued and Jotaro had his eyes narrowed at you. “So, when I suddenly show this level of intelligence-“ You moved your hand up and hovered it at the level of your neck. “-they won’t expect it and I’ll be able to get out of here while they try to figure out what happened.
Despite seemingly getting your explanation, Jotaro seemed truly revolted by the idea of buttering up the scientists.
Without another word, a frustrated rumble tumbled from his chest and he turned to the right, starting to swim away, back to his corner. But not before stopping once more and looking back at you. “Don’t let them touch you.” With that, he continued on his way.
Bringing your arm in, you held it to your chest as you watched him swim away.
- - - - 
About two days passed and during that, your communication with Jotaro had been minimal. You two more or less avoided each other - though there wasn’t any bad blood between you two.
Just now, a big slab of tuna had been lowered and - while you had planned to just wait until Jotaro was done - he seemed to have other plans. He sliced off a chunk, letting it drift down as if he didn’t notice it falling while he himself continued with what he had. Yet subtly, you could see him look at you, releasing one low click sound from deep within his chest. A non-verbal go-ahead that many leaders of a pod used; to show that it was for you.
Sending him a quick smile, you darted over and scooped up the meat from below him right before it could touch the floor. With that, you then turned around and went to the corner opposite of him. For once, Jotaro was not in his usual corner. And you were going to make full use of it by doing what you had been meaning to for the last few days.
Putting the tuna in your mouth and just holding it there, you started plucking the gigantic seaweed that grew from the bottom, slicing it at the soil with your claws until your arms were practically completely full.
Peeking your head around the pillar, you saw Jotaro still eating and thus silently yet quickly swam over to his corner.
The sand was bunched up in a small hill on one end, a deeper and bigger indent right in front of it, showing it was where Jotaro slept every night. There were some plants growing around it, but not many. None close enough that they would be able to bend in the current and annoy him as he tried to sleep at least. That was good.
Now, you knew sleeping on the sand was fine. You had been doing it yourself, even insulated and kept a little more warm because of your protective surrounding skull. And, while the heap of sand behind the dent was meant for the same purpose - to retain some body heat - you knew from experience that plants were way better at that.
So, you started placing the seaweed leaves on the sand indentation. One by one you placed them down, layering them over comfortably until it padded the entire space.
You were happy you picked a lot because you had underestimated how big Jotaro’s bedding would be, seeing he was quite massive as well.
Next came the tricky part. Getting the leaves to stick together and stay on the sand, paired with getting rid of all the prickly edges.
Opting to make sure it stayed in place first, you curled the edges of the leaves around the edge of the sand indent and buried it firmly in the grain, making sure to tuck it in well and good so that it would not let go. With that out of the way, you began chipping away at the sharp edges. 
You worked as fast as you could, wanting to be finished before Jotaro was done eating and would return here. 
Finally done with the snipping, you ran your hand across it, satisfied that there was no uncomfortable plant membrane sticking out anymore.
Onto the last step, you started with the hardest part: weaving the plants together. Cutting small incisions in the leaves with your nails, you started interlocking those cut sections, fitting them together like a puzzle until every leaf on the entire bed was interwoven.
You were almost done when you spotted movement out of the corner of your eye. Turning your head, you saw Jotaro swimming closer, a confused yet wary look on his face. 
In the blink of an eye you were already swimming away, booking it towards your skull and shooting inside with practiced ease. You were pretty sure Jotaro couldn’t fit through the mouth, so you felt relatively safe in case he got mad about you messing with his sleeping spot.
No angry sounds came however. 
- - - -
Several more days passed just like that. You had made a seaweed bed for yourself as well, stuffing it in the skull and spending quite some time digging a little further into the sand so that you would have a true little hovel. Because of this you realised the skull had no lower jaw, which allowed you to dig down into the sand, causing for even more insulation to keep yourself warm at night. Was it necessary? No. Did it feel great to sleep in a warm environment? You bet it did.
Your interaction with Jotaro was still bar to none. Although he did seem more accepting of you, no longer letting out a dangerous or angry rumble when you moved too much or splashed around a bit.
You had gone back to playing with your yellow ball, throwing it at the scientists heads - though they dodged it more easily now that their attention wasn’t divided between two tanks. Still, whenever you did hit one of them, it felt like a huge accomplishment. 
While pretending to play however, you took the opportunity to gather information. Pick up on what the scientists were saying, checking the tank walls while you were pretending to swim around as fast as you could - while in actuality you went only about half as fast. In particular, hopping up on top of the concrete column rewarded you with figuring out there were cameras in the thing. They were small, built in and probably very expensive.
So the scientists were watching your every move even if they weren’t watching.
You honestly felt terrible when you figured that out and had retreated back to your skull, not coming out for 28 hours, not even for food.
About thirteen days had passed since you first came here, and you still had no idea how to get out...
- - - -
To say the scientists of the research facility were in excited chaos and confusion that morning was an understatement. 
After nearly two weeks of no process at all with the Mer they captured - the two of them only avoiding each other as much as possible - they come in for work, only to see the two of them curled up in the male’s nest and sleeping together!?
“What the hell happened?! John! Get the footage of last night!”
“Right!” Said man immediately sprinted away to get it while the rest stayed glued to the glass, watching the two Mer as best as they could with how far away from the glass they had set up camp.
A few minutes later, John returned and they all watched with baited breath to see what happened. 
Operating the four cameras, they switched between them and fast forwarded the footage from last night until there was motion, pressing play.
“What happened that gave them a change of heart?” 
- - - -
Disturbance in the water had roused Jotaro from his sleep. 
There was absolutely nothing in this tank except for a feeble artificial water current that helped with filtering. So, to suddenly feel such jerking motions in the water could only mean that it was the other occupant of the tank.
Jotaro tried to ignore it for a bit and go back to sleep but the irregularity and violence in which you were moving meant there was no chance of that.
A little annoyed, Jotaro got up and started swimming over to the skull you had taken residence in. 
Unlike the last time you had woken him up during the night, you were not in front of it. Furrowing his brows, Jotaro turned up and swam to one of the eye sockets. Gripping the edge of it, he pulled himself closer and peered inside.
It was hard to make anything out in the dark but with the limited night vision he had, Jotaro could see your form, completely curled in on yourself on top of a bed similar to what you had made for him. 
Only, then you twitched.
Your whole body jolted for a bit, a barely audible squeak leaving you before you settled again, only for you to jolt again a few seconds later. Your face was screwed up in pain and discomfort and Jotaro let his gaze drift to your waist, seeing if you could be in pain from that, even if it should have healed for the majority of it.
It wasn’t that though. You didn’t clutch at it in pain or explicitly tried to avoid touching it. You seemed to just be having a nightmare.
For a moment Jotaro considered just leaving. You’d wake up from it eventually and would then just go back to sleep. But that thought was quickly chased away.
Not ever had he seen you so... vulnerable. And as he looked at you, something in him screamed at him to protect you. To protect you, to hold you, to keep you close and safe. Only after a few seconds of feeling his stomach twist did Jotaro realise. Wait, shit- did he just imprint on you?
Just like pups would imprint on parents, so could future mates imprint on each other. It didn’t always happen or all that often actually, but something in Jotaro told him that that was exactly what just happened. Fuck.
Stunned for a few seconds longer, it was another small whimper from you that snapped him out of it. Pushing forward, Jotaro got closer to the eye but he could soon see that he wouldn’t be able to reach you through there with his arm, you were too far to the back and he definitely wouldn’t be able to fit. Hell, he wouldn’t even be able to put both his shoulders through there, let alone his tail.
So, with no other option, Jotaro would have to fully go inside another way.
He didn’t want to invade your personal space, but what other choice did he have? With a bit of hesitation, he swam towards the entrance you had dug and looked down into it. While it was big enough for you to be a comfortable and easy fit, Jotaro would either not fit at all, or have to really squeeze.
He got up for a second and sighed. He could hardly believe he was actually gonna do this. With a little stretch of his back and tail in anticipation, he grabbed hold of the roof of the mouth of the skull. 
Lifting it out of the sand was less heavy than he had thought, most likely because of the light material of the skull, but that didn’t mean it was easy. The sand was suctioning it quite strongly but he only had to lift it a little bit to accommodate himself, not pull it out completely. 
After a few seconds of lifting it up, Jotaro released it, content to see it stayed at the same height he had put it in before he almost immediately ducked down and made his way inside.
Swimming slowly to not scare you awake even more than you probably would be, Jotaro reached where you were tucked in the corner.
“Y/N.” He softly called out your name but it didn’t do shit. With a lack of social skills or experience, and the need to do at least something, Jotaro instead just opted to grab your shoulder. “Wake up.”
In an instant, you came to life. Seeing nothing but a large form hovering over you caused an immediate fight or flight response and you grabbed at the hand on your shoulder, using your other to swipe at your attacker, only for them to grab both your wrists.
“It’s just me, calm down.” The voice of Jotaro spoke and your breath hitched in your throat. Jotaro? What? How?
Any logic was cast out of your mind as your instincts kicked in. Right as Jotaro let go of your wrists, you shot forward and clung to him. The safety that him being larger and stronger provided and the body heat he emitted the only thing playing in your barely awake mind, still half stuck in the nightmare.
Jotaro was taken aback as you wrapped around him, yet, for what felt like the first time in forever, he welcomed the contact. As he raised one arm to attempt to wrap it around you and provide more safety, he instead painfully slammed his elbow against the skull, making you squeak and cling tighter to him before realising it was not a threat and letting up a bit.
As much as Jotaro wanted to, he couldn’t stay here. This skull could barely fit him as is, let alone with another person there. 
Patting your shoulder twice, you looked up at him and Jotaro felt his heart seize at the look you gave him. You also understood what he meant however and let go of him, floating back a bit.
Placing his hand on your head, Jotaro turned with a bit of effort and swam out of the skull.
As his tail disappeared from sight, you cast your eyes down. You were so tired and barely conscious enough to keep your eyes open, yet still, going back to sleep sounded like the last thing you wanted to do.
Suddenly however, you felt your wrist being grabbed and Jotaro yanked you with him out of that skull.
Confusion riddled your sleep heavy mind and you barely had enough thought to move your tail, attempting to help swim but mostly being dragged along by Jotaro.
Before long, you two reached Jotaro’s nest and he sat down on it, pulling you a bit closer since you were practically as far away as you could be, stretched out arms and confused. When you still didn’t seem to get it, Jotaro pulled you down with him until you were pressed against him, your back to his chest as he had his arm around you from behind. His tail started curling around you until it fully encased your form, pushing under your head until you were laying it on top, as if using his tail as a pillow. 
“Sleep.” Jotaro spoke softly from right behind you, almost whispering it into your ear, making your heart skip a beat. Almost immediately after saying that, a faint and low rumble began coming from his chest, almost as if he were purring, and you could instantly feel yourself becoming less anxious.
The soft vibrations on your back together with the protective arm wrapped over you and the strong, thick tail curled around and in front of your entire body made you feel safer than you had in a long time - maybe ever. 
By now, you could barely remember your nightmare, only that it scared you to death. But even then, all those fears were slowly driven away by the comfort of Jotaro’s warmth and the protection he brought.
Part 1  |  Part 2  |  Part 3  |  Part 4
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sissyjamieray · 3 years
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My journey into feminization how did it begin? It is difficult to pin point a specific age, but I would guess I was about 11 years old. Yes, confused by sexual urges and excitement when looking at pictures of pretty girls in magazine ads wearing only panties and bras. Mmm, then 'borrowing' intimate female garments and wearing them. Feelng the overwhelming rush of pleasure and my first orgasm while wearing female clothing. Through the years I've tried to suppress this urges to dress as a woman. Being married was so frustrating as my wife left her intimate garments all over the house. It was like being in a candy store: bras, panties, lingerie all within reach. Unable to resist I would carefully try on bra or nightie when she was out shopping. At one point she mentioned something about one nightie being worn out in the "wrong" places. But she never questioned me. After all why would her man be turned on by wearing panties? Looking back she was very smart, she knew better than to confront me head on, lol. She knew I would not admit it or make up some bullshit story. She was very subtle, one night after making love she asked me if I had any sexual fantasies, my response was no love, none that I can think of. Another time she make the following comment, " I wish I had something to poke you with". Wow, she was so close. I was a bit stunted, didn't have a good response, lol. Several months later during our forplay love making she starts licking my nipples, omg, wtf!! Do you like it she says, with her hand on my growing manhood there was no escape, no denial. You like it don't you? I said yes, grasping for air and moaning as she began to rub the tip of my cock with her finger while continuing to lick and suck on my nipples. Then she slid her hand below my balls and started stroking and messaging the area just above my ass hole. After five minutes or this action she get up, pulls off her soaked panties then leans towards me with panties in hand and whispers in my ear, ' guess what I found in your bag Jim?' I found at least 10 pairs of my panties Jim, wtf all stained with your cum! "So you like to jerk off and cum in my panties, really?" What could I say but yes. I tried to explain why but she was upset? She then took her wet panties wrapped them around my almost limp manhood and said show me how you like you jerk off im my panties! I was so embarrassed, but I was wrong to have taken her things, this was my punishment, Yes? I reached down and started stroking my cock but it was very limp by now, I could not get hard. She saw my problem and whispers in my ear, "what's the problem, sissy panty boy, can't jerk off in front of your hot sexy wife? never touch my things again!, if you do, you will never fuck or cum inside me again. Do you understand me? Yes, hon I understand, good. Now where are my panties, Uh where you put them dear, yes they are yours now. Uh, keep them clean and if you wear these out (giggle) we will go out together and buy you more. Yes, I'll let the pretty sales lady know my size and yours (giggle). One more thing, when we make love, make sure you are wearing a clean pair of lacy pink panties. You are my panty boy husband now (giggle). I guess you better learn to get excited and hard while wearing female panties or you will never fuck me again (giggle): panty boy. Next day I after work I set out the task of hand washing 'my' panties in hope of getting lucky later that evening. Ok, hot water and some laundry soap and a 15 minutes soak, rinse and then toss into the dryer should to the trick right? Right before we went to bed I quickly grabbed my panties and climbed into bed. My wife had been observing my laundry duties activities that evening and I assumed we were cool. My hopes of an evening of
having sex where dashed when she turned the lights on stating: it's panty check time, stand up and let examine your feeble attempts to clean these! Ok, I can still see your nasty stains, what temperature did you wash these in? Hot I relied, she laughed, you idiot you should have used cold, as now you've 'set' the stain and ruined a pretty pair of panties. Oh well I guess we will have to go panty shopping tomorrow. Maybe Victoria's Secret? I understand Nancy, your friend Mike's wife just started working there (giggle), maybe she can let us use her discount? She then put her hand on my softening member and said, 'well give it some thought, panty boy, good night. WTF, now she is straight up trying to sexually blackmail me and expose me really? I got out of bed headed for the bathroom sobbing, how could my sweet wife be so cruel. Fifteen minutes or so she knocks on the door, " Jimmy are you ok"? No I'm, how could I be ok when you want to humiliate me and expose my fetish to my friends? Oh you admit it now that you are little perverted panty stealing panty boy? Her words cut me through me like a knife, but she was right. Stand Jim, look at yourself in the mirror wearing my soiled panties, tell me baby who and what did I fall in love with? Then she placed her had on my limp cock and said, I love you but tell me about all your fetishes now or we are done: confess! I'm not going to play a guessing game with you understand! Sobbing, I began to spill my guys about how was molested by an older boy at 11, my Aunt confessed to dressing me as a girl when I was very young,
dressing my mothers lingerie. Yes, I've have fantasies about being fucked my a man while being dressed as a woman. With years in my eyes I looked at my wife, what she was crying too? Why are you crying I asked? I'm so sorry that so many people have hurt you babe and that you are so fucked up now. Maybe we can both get into therapy, you know get some professional help? But for this moment, let's promise to be more open and honest with our sexual feelings and desires ok? Babe I'm sorry I got do angry with you but you did sneak my panties? I had no idea that my panties turned you on so much to the point that you would willing wear them? She started rubbing my pantied cock as she spoke, you know Jim, have a little fantasy of my own. What she whispered in my ear next blew me away. Jim, sometimes I think about being with a woman, coddling and fondling each others breasts? Jim, I, I think I might be Bi? I sorry I've never shared this with you but you understand right ? At that moment, my cock began to swell, she got her answer. Now pulling my panties down she began licking the very backside tip of my cock, you know Jim, maybe I will be willing to support you, like helping you dress like a lady, apply make up and maybe if you wish be with a man as a woman. With these words I erupted a stream of thick sperm all over her beautiful face. Wow, that was fast hon, you agree with my suggestions? Awesome, now for your first lesson Jamie, lick up all the cum you sprayed over my face. Yes, play the part bitch you need to learn to love the taste of your cum. Yes, your female name is Jamie now, do you like it? That's right clean me up, good gurl. Now it's my turn to be pleasured, now be a good lesbian bitch and eat my sweet pussy, XOXO.
Chapter 2 The List
The next morning Carol, my wife was up early and out of the house without waking me. No breakfast or coffee, man that woman be slipp'in, I thought. Well, what looks good in the frig? Oh man, lookie here, a heart shaped note from wifey. [Hi Jim I went shopping with Margie this morning, not sure when I'll be back but, please pickup the following items at the corner drug store:
tampons, pantyhose, nail polish (pink), eye shadow base & palate, concealer, face primer, eyeliner (water proof), mascara, blush, bronzer, highlighter, lip gloss, cosmetic brush set, foundation, setting spray and pamprin. Jim, if you need help just ask the salesgirl in
cosmetics, you know the one you always flirt with, you know Desiree, giggle. Oh and make sure you are wearing the pink lace panties that I let in your drawer. They are yours now, Jamie. Love Carol XOXO, P.S., I've invited some friends over for dinner so please be home by 4 pm.] Groan, I HATE shopping, especially for girl stuff! Ok, so off to drug store I went, stright to the cosmetics counter, list in hand. There she was, Desiree behind the counter, may I help you, she asked? Desiree was the gorgeous offspring of Spanish and Irish parents, about 5' 9" light green eyes and light brown to blonde hair. Her makeup was always impeccable, skirts and blouse always tight and ample cleavage on display. Carol was right that I did flirt with Desiree in the past, but Carol was always with me. It was different now, I was alone and what she possibly thinking? I mean, Carol had always shopped for her own cosmetics and fem items? Looking into her eyes my mind went blank, dry mouth, etc. I handed her the list and mumbled, my wife needs this stuff and I have no idea. Sure, no problem, I can get these for. Carol is your wife right? Yeah, she was in earlier, something about a need for a change and wanted you and I to help her with a make-over surprise. I can help you with every thing on the list except the tampons, their in aisle 12. Oh, and I'll need your help with selecting the foundation shade to ensure a good color match. Ok, what ever I said, I'll be back with the wifey's tampons in a couple minutes. As I walked away, Desiree's last words, "color matching" stuck in my head... Carol's skin tone was much lighter than mine? Mmm, aisle 12, ok here we go, no idea really what to buy my wife, so many confusing choices. I must have been searching for the correct tampons for at least 15 minutes when Desiree found me. Hi, need some help? Absolutely? I have no idea what she needs. Laughing at my ignorance of feminine hygiene products, explained that Carol would at minimum need pads and most likely will need a tampon for her 'heavy' period flows. My suggestion is get her both. Is so sweet and thoughtful of you to do pick these up for you wife, I'm sure she appreciates it. Now let's go go back to the cosmetic department and I ring up your items? Sounds like a plan, I said. Ok, let's try this new foundation shade shall we? Desiree reached for my hand, this was a new level: physical contact. I could feel my heart beating faster, well if well if you have to I said? Desiree, her hand still gently touchind my hand, looked me in the eyes and said, Jim, it is necessary to be sure we get an accurate match and you do want to please your Wife don't you? Yes, of course I want to make Carol happy. Well good, smiling as she applied the foundation to my hand Desiree said, you know Jim, it's not like anyone's going to make assumptions about your sexuality. I mean, why would a handsome stud like you want to wear make up? Ok, of course your are right, I told her. Oh, awesome Jim, this color is perfect. Carol will love it.
Great what is the final damage for all this, I asked? Sure, your total comes to $75.65. Ok, wow this stuff sure adds up fast! Ok here's $76, as Desiree handed back my change she dropped a dime. Oh, so sorry, no problem I said bending over to retrieve .10 cents and at that moment exposing my pink lace thong panties in full view of Desiree. So humiliating, I was speechless. Desiree with a big smile handed me my merchandise but me close and whispered, I love a man who likes to embrace his feminine side, Carol is so lucky.
Chapter 3 - No Refunds, No Returns
So I returned home with all the cosmetics Carol had on your list. She met me as I entered our apartment with big hug, then said that she had to leave again. No big deal, but asked me to read a letter she had written to me. Ok, problem, writing letters was something we did when we first started dating. Jim, l'll be back in about 2 hours, so please read my little ' love' note before I return. One more hug as she felt up my ass for the outline of the thong panties, still wearing them I see? Good, I so happy you did, it says you respect my wishes. I am going to make you so happy you did. Then she kissed me deeply and left without saying where she was going? Oh well, now where is this letter? I found Carol's letter on my pillow, she started, my Dearest husband, tonight I will make your fantasy of being a woman a reality. Don't deny it Jim. I found your hidden stash of female undergarments, shemale porn, etc. Really, why did you NOT trust me enough with your kinky desires? No matter, I know now and I still you move than you realize. Tonight I will give your fantasy, but know this our relationship will change. The changes will be (giggle) sort of a role reversal? To start: take a nice hot bubble bath, yes use mine girly stuff XOXO. Next, use my sugar rub all over your body to exfoliate your skin and then shave all your body hair, yes lov, your arms, legs, chest, balls and ass. Next raise in with cold water
and gently dry ourself. Next, hydrate your skin with some lotion be liberal with it. Now Jim, you don't have much time left so get started. Oh, once your done with this bathing routine, look in your drawer and closet. Yes I picked out some cute girly things for you to wear love XOXO. Make sure you are wearing each item when I return? If NOT, trust me You will sorely regret it!! But I know you will be a Good girl for your wife, your Mistress now won't you? And don't act like you don't know how to put on a bra, panty hose, corset, or breast forms. Please Sissy, remember I know what you've doing when your alone and I'm at work. You see I also found your pictures lol. Well, no more secrets BITCH! I demand you to be ready for me to apply your make up and wig when I return. No excuses! Yes dear, I will be fully shaved and dressed when return. Ok, good, I will be at 7 pm sharp! Out of fear and excitement I started drawing my bubble bath. While the tub was filling I looked into the closet and drawer to see what my wife had purchased. My sweet wife had filled my drawer will so many pretty panties and bras all different styles and colours. These were all mine, really? Wow, what was in my closet? Just a quick peek, so many cute skirts, dresses and tops, all mine? Ok, time was slipping away and the tub was nearly full now. As instructed, I soaked in the fraguent bubble bath for a half hour so relaxing then scrubbed every inch of my body possible with a sugar exfoliate scrub. I then covered my body with a girly shaved cream and shaved my legs, arms, chest, groin, balls and ass. I then showed in cold water to rinse off the remaining shave cream. As I dried my body off the scent purfume and softness of my now hairless body caused me to feel so girly/ feminine, excited and horny. I resisted my base urges to pleasure myself and pushed on to getting dressed as it was almost time for my wife to return. So many panties so many choices, will of I selected a cute pink lace thong panties with matching bra and garter belt. Slipping the panties on another temptation to pleasure myself. Not enough time, 6:30 pm, still had to put on the breast plate and corset. I secured the 38 D breasts to my chest using the medical grade adhesive. Looking the mirror was a bit of a let down, so much work and I still looked like a man, a man with big breasts and small waist. I was nearly in tears when I heard the front door open, Carol would be coming in bedroom any moment and I was pretty much half naked. I quickly grabbed a blouse, skirt and heels got them on and posing on the bed, just as door opened. Knock, knock... omg Jim, Carol told me to just let myself in, that my make over project would be sitting on the bed. It was Desire, Carol WTF!! I was humiliated once again, I began sobbing uncontrollably, why Carol, why? Desiree gave me several tissues to dry tears. I don't understand, why would do this? She came closer and hugged me. I never been this close to Desiree or so absolutely vulnerable before. She knew just like Carol that I was to be a sissy no denial. Jim, she said, Carol is giving you a gift, this is what you want really. Carol loves you didn't understand or how to help you experience being a girl. I can sweet heart. Yes, Carol may have, did violate your privacy by sharing your sissy feelings with me but I agreed to help you both. She then kissed me on the lips and said go wash away those trears hon and let's transform you into a beautiful woman. Before she applied my make up she asked me to remove my skirt and blouse, something about not getting any make on my clothes, ok made sence? Desiree was wonderful explaining the fairly complicated process of applying the various types make up, contouring, eye shadow, liner, etc. I almost forgot that I was half naked inches away from a gorgeous woman. The scent of her purfume and beautiful cleavage got the best of my unrestrained manhood. Desiree noticed my problem and said, I see you are getting turned on baby? You like it that I'm feminizing don't sweety? Oh of course you do
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mandoalorian · 3 years
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I Believe In Love [Maxwell Lord x F!Reader] — Eight: Courage
Summary: When you find your calling to leave Themyscira, you venture out to the World of Man with intentions of helping and healing a very specific person's relationship with his son. You've heard his voice before, but only in dreams. You've felt his pain and anguish and you've never been able to relate to anything more. But things don't come easy for you, and they certainly don't come easy for him either. [This series contains spoilers for WW84 and is my interpretation of what happens after the movie ends].
Warnings: canon typical violence
Word count: 5,000>
Masterlist 
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You awoke to the phone on the nightstand ringing. Maxwell groaned, rolling over and pulling the pillow over his head. You tiredly opened your eyes before taking the phone off the hook and holding it against your ear. “Hello?” you asked, your voice hoarse and your throat sore. It must have been the implications of yours and Maxwell’s actions from the night before. Max moaned and wrapped his large arm around your naked body, pulling you into his chest and resting his chin on your shoulder.
“It’s me,” Diana snapped back quickly. “I’ve been calling your room for the past fifteen minutes. What’s going on?”
“O-oh,” you groaned, rubbing your eyes and pulling out of Maxwell’s grip. You sighed and propped yourself up on some pillows. “I’m sorry Di, I guess we must’ve slept through the phone call. I didn’t hear anything.” you admitted.
“Listen, we only have two days in Greece so if we want to find the dreamstone we have to work fast. Meet me in the lobby in fifteen minutes or I’ll go without you. I already have a lead.” Diana instructed and you heard the phone slam back down on the hook with a ring.
You turned to Max who had fallen back asleep, his snores gentle and light as his chest slowly rose and fell with every breath. He was so peaceful. When he was asleep, it was one of the few moments where he wasn’t ridden with stress or anxiety. And you wished you had the rest of your life to admire his tender movements.
“Max, wake up, we have to go.” you whispered, shaking him gently.
Maxwell mumbled something incoherent and rolled over, resting his head in your lap. You smiled, feeling your cheeks heat up as he shuffled further into your body. You smoothed out his golden hair and traced the features of his face with your index finger. So beautiful. So perfect.
You imagined spending every single one of your future mornings like this, in bed with him, his face buried in your lap and his gentle snores echoing throughout the room. Your naked legs were tangled together and neither of you had ever felt so comfortable in your life.
“Max, baby,” you cooed, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss into his forehead.
“Mmm, good morning.” Maxwell grumbled, rubbing his tired eyes.
“We slept in,” you sighed, letting your hand trail down his body and lazily circle his tan chest. “Diana is waiting for us downstairs. We have to go.”
“I don’t want to,” he whined, almost child-like. “Wanna stay here with you- foreverrrr.” he purred, pressing a tired kiss to the inside of your thigh.
“Maxie, please don’t make this any more difficult than it needs to be.” you hummed seriously, although you were trying to hold back a smile. If anything was going to wake Maxwell up, it would be that nickname. He opened his eyes and pulled off you.
“Okay princess, I’m up.” He said, running his hand through his wavy morning hair.
“Princess? I told you I’m not a-” 
“Think of it as a term of endearment, sweetheart.” he said, pressing a kiss into your nose. 
“Oh.” was all you managed to breathe out before his lips caught yours.
***
Just as she had stated, Diana was waiting for you in the hotel lobby, dressed fully in her red,  blue and gold warrior costume. It had garnered quite a bit of attention, but nothing Diana Princess of Themyscira wasn’t used to. 
“You said you had a lead?” you quizzed, quirking your eyebrow and taking a step closer to Diana.
“Yes, Dr. Minerva,” Diana said, immediately glancing at Maxwell who’s eyes had become comically wide. The name clearly meant something to him. It rang like alarm bells in his head. “Or Barbara, as myself and Max know her as.”
You turned to Max, confused as to why Diana was being particularly smug. She’d acted the same when she mentioned Barbara and Max back at the Smithsonian yesterday. “Who is this Dr Minerva?” you asked him, looking at him with the most innocent, doe eyes. Your voice was soft but riddled with curiosity. He wanted to tell you, he wanted to tell you everything it’s just… things were difficult. He’d done things with Barbara that he’d be afraid of you knowing; afraid of what you might think or if you will think any less of him. He couldn’t stand the fact you genuinely had no idea. It was a long complicated story. He hoped to tell you it one day - but knowing that you might not have much time left on Earth, was it really worth it?
“Maybe Diana is better off explaining.” Maxwell scrunched up his nose, dismissing your question. It brought back too many memories that Max would prefer to just ignore. Even though ignoring his past trauma was how he got into this mess in the first place. If he’d learned one thing from Diana, it was that he must face the truth no matter how difficult it may be.
“No,” Diana shot back, but her voice wasn’t laced with venom as Maxwell expected. “I think you’re better off answering this one.” Diana smiled a perfect smile. Maybe smug wasn’t the word to describe Diana’s demeanor, but she certainly knew something that you didn’t, and she was being particularly hidden about it.
“Well Max?” you narrowed your eyes. Why was he being so secretive? Who was this woman?
“Uh-,” Maxwell trailed off, avoiding all eye contact. He took in the features of your face, admiring your beauty with all he had and thinking about how he didn’t want to lose you. He loved you. And you deserved to know. If Max could open up to you about his childhood and about his pursuit of the dreamstone, he could tell you about his short-lived relationship with Barbara-Ann Minerva. “Shit, okay. I had been searching for the dreamstone for a long time when one day, a newspaper headline told me that there was a robbery at a jewellery store, and that the Smithsonian had all the stolen treasures. Including the dreamstone. So I went to the Smithsonian and requested to see Dr. Minerva because I did my research and I knew she was the fresh faced gemologist they just hired a week earlier. And she was… beautiful,” Maxwell seemed to get lost in the memory of her vibrant blue eyes and blonde wavy hair. His lips then curled into a frown. “But so ditzy... I saw straight through her vulnerabilities and insecurities in an instant and I used that to exploit her and get the dreamstone. I gained her trust when I told her I’d be donating to the gemology department at the museum, I charmed her at the charity gala and I wooed her in her office and took the stone.”
Maxwell seemed to gloss over the chain of events but it didn’t really matter. He’d explained what he needed to. You felt a pang of jealousy strike your heart at his revelation. You had been made aware from Mrs Stagg, Ted and Julianna, Diana, and even Max, that he’d done bad things and made terrible mistakes, but you couldn’t help but feel an irk over what had happened in Dr Minerva’s office. “Wooed her?” you quoted him, folding your arms over your chest. Maxwell blinked, but then sighed and reached out to hold your hand.
“Really?” Diana sighed. “That’s what you're focused on right now? Dolos lives. The God of Lies lives.” she shook her head in disbelief and you bit your lip, supposing that she was right. You had bigger things on your plate. You were a goddess for heaven’s sake, you couldn’t let the irrational human emotion of envy consume you. But you had noticed the way his face softened when he was reminded of Dr Minerva’s beauty. And you couldn’t help but feel the urge to know what exactly went on in her office, the night of the charity gala. After a brief moment of silence and exchanged glances, Diana opened her mouth again. “I had a contact in D.C., Babajide, who knew all about the dreamstone and the powers of the God of Lies. Myself, Barbara and Steve met with him when we found out Maxwell had become the dreamstone.”
“Hey- how did I not know about Babajide?” Maxwell frowned. He’d been researching the dreamstone for years and he’d never known of such a man. A man who supposedly had all the answers about the stone.
“Irrelevant,” Diana rolled her eyes. “Seriously guys, this is important. You need to pay attention.”
“I am!” You and Maxwell exclaimed together, in an unpredicted unison. Diana quirked an eyebrow and you felt a warmth cross your cheeks. Ancient Olympian tales would describe moments like that as soulmate-ism. 
“Babajide knew so much about Romulus and the exact dreamstone that Max got a hold of so I paid him another visit and found out he had knowledge on Dolos’ dreamstone too. Only…” And Diana let out a long sigh before pinching the bridge of her nose. “He told me that Barbara had visited him a day earlier, asking him of the same knowledge. ‘Asking’ is putting it nicely. Apparently Barbara was a menace and threatened Babajide. And Babajide told her everything he told me. It’s more than likely that Barbara is already here, in Greece, seeking the stone for herself.” 
“She sounds dangerous.” you said quietly. Maxwell held his head in his hands.
“I don’t think I can face Barbara again.” He said, shaking his head, fearful.
“Max I don’t think we have a choice. We have to get the dreamstone before she gets it. What do you think she’ll do with the stone once she has it?” you asked Diana.
“I can only imagine the worst,” Diana shook her head in dismay. “Barbara was complicated… she craved power just like Maxwell only… she had nothing to lose. I fear that she’ll wish to become the dreamstone.” As the word’s left Diana’s lips, Maxwell’s heart sank and he ran off, disappearing amongst the lobby crowds. “Do you think he’s okay?”
You stood for a moment, watching as his dirty blonde hair descended behind the grand staircase. No, of course he wasn’t okay, and you were the only one who truly knew how much this business with the dreamstone had affected him and harmed him. He had come so close to losing everything and so learning that Barbara might make the same mistake as he did, hurt him too. No matter what happened between Barbara and Maxwell, he clearly cared about her. “Excuse me.” you told Diana, following Maxwell through the crowds.
You just noticed him heading through an alcove and outside of the resort. He pushed his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose and stood by the pool, relishing the fresh air and trying to regulate his panicked, erratic breathing. “Max! Max!” you called after him, pushing past the people until finally you were by his side, grabbing his hand. “What happened back there?”
Maxwell said nothing, instead he just looked into the golden horizon. “Max?”
“Maybe I shouldn’t be here,” he told you. “You have Diana. What use am I?” 
“We need you Max,” you promised him, placing your hand on his cheek and gently turning his head so he was facing you. “I need you.”
Maxwell smiled softly and felt himself lean into your warm embrace. “I’ve never felt needed… or wanted… until I met you.” he confessed and you felt tears prick your eyes at his admission. You knew that feeling all too well.
“I know, me too. Back home, all the other Amazon’s were fighters and warriors… like Diana. But not me. They made me feel useless… like I had no point. Like I was a mistake. My mother would tell me that Zeus created me for a reason, just like all the other Gods and Goddesses, and that one day I’d serve my true purpose. That’s why I’m here today, with you. I already know that the years of humiliation and feeling like an outcast will be worth the few days that I get to spend with you, Max.”
Max sighed softly. “I never thought a Goddess could feel like an outcast,” he told you and you pursed your lips into a fine line, nodding in affirmation. “I’m sorry.”
“I think we have more in common that meets the eye.” you giggled softly, dropping your hand flat against his chest. Maxwell wrapped both of his big arms around you and pulled you into a hug.
“I think so too,” he agreed, pressing a soft kiss into your hair. “We better catch up with Diana then,” he told you, taking your hand. “Let’s put an end to this.”
***
You had been walking for miles in the blazing Greek heat. Maxwell had unbuttoned the top of his shirt and his collar was slightly wonky. His hair may have been disheveled and the blonde locks may have been sticking to the pearls of sweat that beaded along his forehead, but you still admired his beauty. He was truly wonderful. He was quiet most of the journey, and he didn’t have the agility or stamina that you and Diana had. Sometimes you’d have to take stops and have water breaks or toilet breaks. You tried to include him in conversation but his discomfort wasn’t lost on you. It was clear enough that his relationship with Diana was complicated, to say the least. Little did you know, the three of you were about to become a whole lot closer. You and Diana laughed and talked for hours, sharing stories about your time together on Themyscira.
“Zeus is my father. Zeus is your father. We’re basically sisters,” you nudged her, and she giggled. Maxwell scrunched up his nose. Sisters?! He ran a hand through his hair and continued to listen in your conversation. “It’s just unfair that you got to be Princess of Themyscira and I was stuck living a sheltered life with my mother.”
“It wasn’t always easy being a princess,” Diana scolded, but in a warm and polite manner. “It was all about duty. But hey- you’re a goddess, you know all about that.”
If Maxwell Lord had a dollar for everytime he thought he was in a fever dream… he might have been able to afford Black Gold Cooperative’s utility bill. He’d always been a realist. He’d never engaged in fantasy movies or novella, but there was something about overhearing a conversation between a Demi-god and a goddess that just didn’t feel real.
He knew it was. He’d seen Diana in action himself. Hell, he’d seen the powers you possessed. Albeit, when Diana mentioned how you possessed double her power, he was shocked to say the least. Diana could barely hold off Barbara in the White House but with you here? For once Maxwell finally felt hopeful. 
As you furthered deeper into unknown plains, a sudden coldness enveloped you all. It was like a dark, enigmatic spirit ghosting between the three of you, and just like everything else that had happened over the past four days, it couldn’t be explained.
“Do you feel that?” Max finally asked, breaking his silence as he folded his arms over his chest. A shiver raced down his spine as Diana increased her pace and approached the forbidden tomb. “Look at this place. She took us to an ancient burial site, it seems. Like ancient Greek ruins.” he told you, scoping out the place.
“I feel that, yes.” you hummed, your mind wandering the origins of the cold air. Diana’s cries alerted both you and Maxwell as your heads both snapped in her direction and watched her push an enormous boulder away from the tomb, revealing an opening.
“Are you as strong as that?” Maxwell asked, his mouth gaped open in shock.
“Stronger.” you winked before taking his hand and dragging him towards Diana.
The cold spirit then enveloped you, Diana and Maxwell, whispering words of admission, encouraging you all to come forward. “Don’t you think it’s a trap?” Maxwell asked once you were deep enough in the cave that you had hit a point of no return. Even if it was a trap, there was no going back now. You were faced with two path-ways.
“The Sword of Athena is this way,” Diana pointed to the right pathway, otherwise known as the pathway she stood before, and then she pointed her other finger to the left pathway, “and Dolos’ dreamstone is that way. I say we split up and rendezvous here. Maxwell, come with me.”
“Wait what?” Max asked, narrowing his eyes.
“No,” you told Diana firmly. “He is coming with me.” “You really think it’s wise to let Max Lord accompany you to get the dreamstone?” Diana quizzed quietly, stepping closer to you and breaking any distance. Her dark eyes flicked between you and Maxwell. “After everything he’s done.”
Diana’s hiss was quiet, but not quiet enough to go unnoticed by Maxwell. He knew he wasn’t going to do anything. He was a changed man - but the realization that he’d have to prove to the people he hurt that he was changed, suddenly overwhelmed him. He’d have to prove himself to Diana, and even prove himself to Barbara before he could put all this behind him. There were still steps Max Lord had to take in order to gain full closure of his trauma.
“I trust him.” you said through gritted teeth. Maxwell felt a wave of relief. You were so pure of heart. So angelic. You took his hand, nodded goodbye to Diana, and guided him through the left path-way.
“How much further?” he asked. You had been walking hand in hand for around five or ten minutes, only your lasso of Hestia illuminating the cave. Before you could reply, you felt the walls and ceiling of the cave begin to vibrate and crumble. “What’s that?!” Maxwell asked again, this time panicked and looking around erratically.
“We might not have much time.” You said, feeling your own heart rate increase speed as anxiety settled in you.
Something wasn’t right, that much was clear. You tightened your grip on the businessman’s hand and began to run, pulling him with you. Within seconds, you had reached your destination. Maxwell was heaving and panting but he straightened up and fought for composure when he noticed a dim, amber light illuminate your skin. It wasn’t your lasso of Hestia… not this time. He slowly looked up and followed your gaze, gasping when his eyes set on the dreamstone.
You had completely frozen up, struck by awe as you took in the beauty of the citrine stone which stood erect on top of a Greek pillar. “Wow.” you mumbled, swallowing the hard lump in your throat.
The stone was practically identical to the one Maxwell had utilized just a week ago, and just seeing it again, in its full glory, sent electric bolts of dread through his body. He couldn’t be here. He couldn’t do this. Not again. Being in the same proximity as the stupid stone that had ruined everything sent Maxwell into his fight or flight. “I can’t- I can’t do this.” Maxwell shakily declared, his coffee coloured eyes glazed with panic.
“It’s okay,” you whispered, taking both of his hands and coaching his breathing. “Let me get the stone and we can head on out of here.”
Maxwell closed his eyes and nodded. If you could trust him, he could certainly trust you. You brushed a chaste kiss against his lips and pulled away from him. It only took a few steps on your approach to the stone before the walls began to crumble again, even more so than previously, and the ground beneath you began to split.
“Shit!” Maxwell cried as he stared at the crack in the floor between you both. It was deep and only getting deeper. If you didn’t run now, you might have gotten separated. He called your name, terror rampant in his voice. “Hurry!”
As you were about to grab the stone. A voice stopped you. A voice that Maxwell thought he’d never hear again.
“The stone belongs to me.” she said coldly. You huffed and opted to ignore the grave voice, taking the dreamstone from the pillar before spinning around on your heel and turning around.
And when you saw the sight before you, you dropped the dreamstone and let it fall to the rocky ground beneath you. Trepidation consumed you and suddenly, it felt like your whole life was on the line. “Maxwell!” you cried, your hand immediately dropping down to your lasso and curling your fingers around the rope. You scowled angrily, your gaze flicking between Max and the woman who was holding him by his neck.
“This- this is Dr. Minerva!” Maxwell choked, tears streaming down his cheeks as Barbara tightened her grip around his throat. Her once blonde hair was white and knotted, and her black kohl eyeliner smudged down her cheeks. Her tights were ripped and a sleeve was missing from her Cheetah print fur jacket. She is not at all how you’d imagined her.
“Let him go!” You begged as anger swelled in the pit of your stomach. “Let him go now!”
Maxwell’s eyes squeezed shut and he let out a groan, his knees wobbling as he struggled to even stand up straight. It was only Barbara’s strong grip of his neck that was keeping him upright. He was hurting. The love of your life was in pain.
“Give me the stone.” Barbara growled.
You picked up the dreamstone and passed it her way. She took it, willingly and let go of Maxwell, throwing him to the ground. The glint in her eye as she analysed the citrine was enough to terrify you. You ran to Maxwell’s side, dropping to your knees and nursing his body.
“Hey! Max, are you okay?” You whispered, smoothing out his hair and running your fingers along his face. He nodded wearily, rubbing the scratches on his neck from where her sharp, cat-like, fingernails had dug into his skin. You helped him to his feet and swung an arm around his body to support him.
“Barbara.” he called, gaining the attention of the doctor.
“No,” you chastised Max. “Don’t. There will be another opportunity to get the stone.” But he wasn’t going to give in that easy, he had to play his cards right. Luckily for you, manipulation was one of Maxwell Lord’s most tactful skills.
“Barbara, did we end things on a bad note? I must admit, I thought we had something special… me and you.” Maxwell said, his voice hoarse. He pulled out of your arms and sluggered towards the gemologist, who had finally looked up from the citrine stone and towards the businessman. For a split second, you saw a glimpse of humanity flicker in her eyes.
“You renounced your wish,” Barbara said, her grip on the stone as tight as ever, but her heart ached as Maxwell approached her. “You were weak. The dreamstone deserves to be with someone like me.” Even her words sound forced and unnatural - like they weren’t really coming from her. Had she not renounced her wish? You wondered what she had even wished for. 
“I couldn’t agree more,” Maxwell coaxed. He had gotten so close to Barbara, he was able to cup her face and rub the height of her cheekbone with his thumb. It was an action he’d performed on you many times, but even watching this play out, with your own two eyes, you could tell it was different. It was colder and more forced. He had that fake television smile, not the smile you had been blessed to see so many times. “I just hoped things could’ve been different between us.”
“Max, what are you saying?” Barbara asked, goosebumps lacing her arms and you noticed the way her grip on the dreamstone loosened under his touch.
“Everyone has something to lose,” Maxwell whispered. “I could have all the power in the world but it would mean nothing to me if I lost Alistair, my son. Tell me Barbara, does that really make me weak?”
Barbara considered his words for a few moments. “No.”
Maxwell nodded. “What do you have to lose?” Maxwell whispered, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
Barbara sniffed, a single tear dripping down her cheek. She was once so warm and compassionate, so friendly. There was one thing. Only one thing she thought about losing.
Just then, the dreamstone slipped from her grip as the lasso of Hestia curled around it and pulled it away from her. But it wasn’t your lasso.
“Diana!” Barbara gasped, her face hardening as she quickly and fiercely wiped her tears away. “That dreamstone belongs to me!”
“I can’t let you do this Barbara!” Diana cried. “This has to end now!” You and Maxwell ran towards Diana and she passed you the dreamstone. “Get out of here!” I’ll hold back Barbara.”
You handed Maxwell the dreamstone and equipped your own lasso, circling it around until it wrapped around a rocky ledge at the end of the cave. “Hold on to me. One hand around me and keep tight a hold of the stone!” you commanded as the walls of the ancient temple began to crumble around you. Just before you set off, you saw the silver gleam of Diana’s sword of Athena as she wielded it before Barbara.
“Shouldn’t I hold on to the lasso?” Maxwell asked, sliding an arm around your waist and holding the stone tight against his chest. 
“Just trust me!” You shouted over the loud rumbling around you. You gripped on to your lasso firmly with both hands before shooting off in the air.
“Whoa!” Maxwell screamed, squeezing his eyes tight shut the second his feet left the ground. “Are we flying?! Are we flying?!”
You giggled as your bodies glided through the air. Max might have been holding on to you for his dear life, but somehow he knew he would be okay. That he’d be safe and you wouldn’t let him get hurt. You rapidly approached the entrance to the cave and used the last of your might to safely land. Maxwell had no time to catch his whereabouts when his feet hit the ground, as you clipped your lasso back to your belt and ran with him to the edge of the ruins.
You hadn’t been in there too long, but by the time you had exited the ancient temple, it was already nightfall. You looked back and there was no sign of Diana. She must have still been in there with Barbara, and you wondered what was going on. 
When Maxwell held the dreamstone, he felt opportunistic. He could make a wish. He had the possibility to make a wish again and have a do-over. He knew where he went wrong last time. He could make it right. He could wish for you to stay… and for you to live a peaceful, happy life with him and Alistair. He could wish to win the custody case. He could wish for so many things. But it was the softness of your touch which interrupted him from his intrusive thoughts. The way your fingers gently grazed across his knuckles and you held his hand.
“We have to destroy it now.” you whispered, looking into the glowing citrine rock. 
“We?” Maxwell questioned. His eyes were dark and wide. “We don’t even know how.”
“Only the truth can destroy the lies. But my mother said I had to believe in love. Love would destroy the stone. Truth and love… truth and love…” you chanted as you tried to piece together the puzzle.
It suddenly hit Maxwell like a ton of bricks. “True love,” he said out loud, his gaze flicking from the dreamstone to you. “True love will destroy the stone.”
It made more than sense, and Maxwell had worked it out on his own. “You’re right…” you whispered. You squeezed Max’s hand and then reached over to the dreamstone. You placed your hand on the stone, and the tips of your fingers touched the tips of Maxwell. As you both held the stone together, the magic began to work and the stone  grew hot and tingled your skin. Very soon, Dolos’ dreamstone - the final dreamstone - fizzled away into a pile of glittering dust and blew away in the cool Greek wind.
You and Maxwell both stood there in silence, still holding your hands out, but this time there was no dreamstone. You had done it. The dreamstone had been destroyed. The God of Lies was dead. It was over. 
“You did it,” Maxwell was the first to break the silence. “You destroyed the dreamstone.”
You had both been thinking the same thing. The fact you had both placed your hand on the dreamstone and that your combined energy was enough to disintegrate the possessed rock. True love. It was hard to know what to say. Of course you were in love with Maxwell Lord, and knowing that pretty soon you’d have to leave him, made your whole body ache to the core. And Maxwell felt the same about you. He’d never been this happy in his life - but spending his days with you and Alistair felt so special. You were his guardian angel, sent out from Themyscira to aid him and help him. To rescue him. How could he not love you? But still, neither of you said anything. How could you ever tell him that you loved him when you were going to leave him? It would only make things harder when it was time to go. You winced and blinked away unshed tears.
“No,” you whispered, turning to look into Maxwell’s honey coloured eyes. “We did it.”
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djarrex · 3 years
Text
Countermeasures || 4
Diversion
Fives x ofc!reader
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Rating: 18+ only
Word Count: 6.8k
Warnings: hella sexual tension yet again, some violence (feat. hand-to-hand combat Fives #King), a hint of fluff (really a hint of softy Fives)
chapter summary: You know something strange is going on, and that becomes even more clear upon Tup’s passing. You’ll both need a diversion to kickstart the investigation, so the truth behind Tup’s death - and the tumor - can be uncovered.
note: Okay I’m not confident in my writing of fight scenes so bear with me. This is the longest chapter so far and there were some parts in here I really struggled with so I’m sorry if things are written weird. I removed an entire scene and replaced it with something different. Hint: it was spicy, but turned into fluff. Slow burn... am I right? 
***
It was the morning after Tup’s passing and Fives’ simultaneous arrest. You got ready for the day, running on empty fumes and barely any sleep. That night you had tossed and turned, unable to relieve yourself of the guilt flooding through you. You weren’t even upset you were reassigned – you were too distraught from watching Fives get taken away as he shook his brother’s lifeless body. It was a scene straight from a depressing holomovie, and it burned in your brain, playing on repeat.
You reached for your lab coat on the way out of your quarters, but hesitated. Did you even need to wear it now? You’re going to be skimming through reports all day for the rest of your internship. Hardly the occupation that warrants the donning of a medical lab coat. Hand still floating in the air, you dropped it and shook your head. No. You do not deserve to wear that.
Your feet dragged as you headed the familiar way to the archives; a path you thought you wouldn’t have to walk again. As you approached a trisecting corridor, you heard hushed voices - those of the Kaminoans. You stopped before reaching the corner, steadying your breath to zero in on their conversation, attempting to remain undetected.
“We can not let that clone leave. Not after what he has seen.”
“Now that CT-5385 has passed, we can begin the autopsy. We do not have a need for CT-5555 anymore.”
“You may be correct, but we mustn’t leave anything to chance. I suggest we wipe his memory and keep him here indefinitely so that we can easily monitor his behavior.”
“I agree.”
“Doctor, I will gather the guards and escort CT-5555 to the reconditioning center.”
You had never turned around so fast in your life.
You wanted to run, run as fast as you could through the bright corridors, but you couldn’t. It would raise too much suspicion, which wasn’t something you – or Fives – could afford right now. Instead, you maintained a brisk pace, slowing it slightly when others came into frame. You needed to get to Fives. You had no idea how long he had – they could be on their way there right now.
Fives’ room came into view – no guards standing outside. That was a good sign. You slammed your fist against the buttons and the door whisked opened. Fives sat in a familiar distraught position on the cot with his head hung low, but instantly snapped up to the sound of your frantic voice as you rushed into the room.
“Fives! Thank the Maker you’re still here.” You quickly turned to shut the door as Fives jolted up, confusion written all over his face.
“Still here? What are you-”
“You need to leave. Now.” You were a tad bit out of breath. Fives just stared at you, wide-eyed.
“Ren, hey. Just breathe, and tell me what’s going on.” Fives’ arm outstretched and a warm palm landed on your upper arm, squeezing tight with reassurance, pulling you to sit down on the cot with him. You kept your head down, staring at your dangling feet to calm yourself.
“I overheard them talking… they- they said they were going to wipe your memory. They’re not sending you back to the 501st, Fives. I don’t think that was ever their intention… and now, after Tup, I- I don’t think it’s going to be good.” 
“Who said that?” You looked up to meet Fives’ eyes, noting how the previous look of confusion and concern jumped out the window and was replaced with caution and curiosity - maybe anger, too.
“Nala Se, and- and some other Kaminoans. I think I heard the Prime Minister’s voice, too.” Fives hand jumped to your thigh, giving a modest squeeze as he leaned in close.
“Did they see you? Please tell me they did not see you.” Worry accompanied his tone - worry for you.
“I don’t think so. I didn’t hang around for long. I- I heard them say your name, then something about an inhibitor chip, and the reconditioning center, and- ”
“Hey, Ren. Look at me. It’s going to be okay, alright? They can’t do that. There’s no way they’d get away with that if Rex or General Skywalker have anything to say about it.” You knew of Rex, but nothing about this Skywalker guy. Whoever he was aside, Fives didn’t quite seem to understand the urgency of the situation.
“Fives, you don’t know. They’ve been acting strange ever since we found the tumor in Tup. I- I don’t think that was something any of us were supposed to find. Not me, and especially not you. There’s something strange going on here. I can feel it!” You stood up and paced over to the counter, arching forward with your elbows resting on the cool top. Fives shuffled around as you heard his footsteps approaching, making you turn around to face him.
“What do you mean?” 
Fives didn’t seem to be in any rush to leave - his stubbornness was insane. Fuck. Time was running out. They could be here any second. Anxiously running your fingers through your hair, you started, “When we did the scan on Tup and removed the tumor- Nala Se acted as if none of it mattered. She told me over and over that the scan was incorrect, but we know what we saw. We held the evidence in our hands. Something not right is going on around here, Fives. You and I may be the only ones that know about it. I gotta get you out of here.” Fives’ eyes remained locked with yours as he silently took it all in. He wasn’t saying anything, until -
“Well, what about you?” Fives’ hand reached forward and locked into yours. The warmth coming from his rough hand soothed you for a moment as you collected your thoughts.
“I’ll be okay so long as they don’t know I’m working with you and I... stop asking questions. They didn’t dismiss me like I thought they would, so I still have a chance of finding on what’s going on from the archives. They think they can cover their assess by keeping me compliant and reconditioning you-”
“Do you know how long I have until they ‘recondition’ me, whatever that means?”
“I ran to find you as soon as I heard they would send the guards to escort you out... Fives, they could literally get here any second. I’m supposed to be in the kriffing archives, but I am not letting them do that to you.” You grabbed his other hand and squeezed them both. Looking up at the vent, you nodded up at the ceiling. “Common, you know the drill.”
***
You had been crawling through the cold durasteel ventilation shafts for a while now. In your exhausted state you had forgotten to put on your chrono this morning, and you were sure Fives had no current concept of time. Coming up on a trisecting shaft, you ceased crawling.
“Do you have any idea where you’re going?” It had to have been at least fifteen minutes when you finally broke the silence. Fives came to a halt in front of you and turned his head around over his shoulder.
“Uh, yes?” The obvious lie seeped its way through the raising pitch in his voice. Rolling your eyes, Fives added in, “I need to get to the hangar so I can create a diversion.” Fives resumed crawling, but you remained still.
“A... diversion? What are you thinking of doing at the hangar?” As your voice became more distant to him, he paused again. Fives peered over in your direction behind him, nodding for you to come along. You sighed, but continued forward to catch up with him.
“I need to make it look like I’ve escaped, that way they don’t come looking for me here.” Once you were close enough behind him, he started crawling again - but you paused, again. What in the hells-
“Make it look like you’ve escaped? I thought I made myself very clear when I told you that you need to leave.” Fives sensed that you halted once again, coming to a halt himself and backing up a few paces.
“I can’t leave yet, Ren. You said so yourself – something strange is going on here, and I need to get to the bottom of it. I need to know more about the tumor you took out of Tup.” There was definitely no arguing with a man like Fives. With a defeated sigh, you bowed you head for a moment, contemplating the next move. Well, Fives might as well hide out for a bit until enough of the heat has been taken off him. It wouldn’t help the cause if he got captured right away.
“Okay, fine. But it’s too hot down there right now. I’m sure they have troopers searching every room and hall in the medical wing for you once they realized you weren’t where you were supposed to be.” You narrowed your eyes at him, which you know he couldn’t see from his position - you hoped he felt it, though. “You’ll need a safe place to hide in the meantime, then we can dig deeper into the tumor.”
“We? Renna, I’ve already asked too much of you, and nearly got you dismissed from my actions.”
“Not your actions, Fives. I’m the one who agreed to help you, and I still want to help you. You’re not the only one who wants to figure out what the fuck is going on around here.” If Fives wouldn’t escape Kamino, then you would help him the best you could.
“Alright, alright.” Fives chuckled at your tenacity, “Where would be a safe place to hide in the city? I’m not exactly fond of staying up in these freezing vents for the rest of the day and tonight.”
“I mean…” You paused, contemplating if you really were about to say what you were going to say, “You- you could lay low in my quarters. No one of importance goes to that side of the city anyway. They would never think to look there. It would just be for the night – it would probably be okay to head out to the hangar by morning.” Yeah, you said it. The thought of Fives being in your room - just the two of you - sent heat all over your body, warming up the exposed skin that was pricked with goosebumps from the freezing vents. Fives’ head turned towards you as far as it would go, most likely straining his neck. You could make out his raised eyebrows as he let out a grunt. Somehow you figured he wouldn’t say no to being invited into your room. Fives - ever the stubborn man - was an arguer, though.
“You can’t get caught help-”
“Don’t argue with me.” You raised your brows, mimicking him, earning a chuckle your way. “I have some food, and I’m sure you’re about starving right about now.” Letting out a heavy sigh, Fives nodded.
“Alright, lead the way, ma’am.” Fives scooted as far as he could to the right, allowing you to pass by him. Fives didn’t start crawling right away, but you didn’t stop; you allowed yourself to imagine that he was checking out your ass again. A few more moments went by until you finally heard the sound of Fives tailing you, when he sighed again, “Please don’t tell me all you have are protein bars.”
***
You must have crawled for another silent half hour by the time you reached the vent leading to your room. Opening it carefully and quietly, you hopped down onto your bed. Fives followed, with his guard clearly held up high as he automatically scanned the unfamiliar room.
“So, uh… this is where I currently live.” You tied your hair up into a ponytail and smiled at Fives after he finally dropped down. “It’s going to be fine - I promise.” Plopping down on the edge of your bed, you patted the mattress and gestured for Fives to join you. This whole thing – Fives in your room with you – was a fantasy that guided your self-pleasure for a couple nights; you finally had true alone time with him, and you wanted to do what you could with it.
“I can tell you made this place your own. Better than my bunk in the barracks that’s for sure.” Fives rubbed the back of his neck and offered you a sheepish grin, plopping down on the bed right next to you. You felt the heat radiating off his body; Fives was sitting very close to you. There was silence for a minute until you realized you had forgotten to offer him anything.
“One protein bar, coming right up!” You jolted up and off the bed and headed for the small kitchenette by the front door. You heard the sound of Fives readjusting on your mattress but remained focused on getting him something good to eat. Opening cabinet after cabinet, shaking your head at the sight of each one, you finally found something you think he’d like. You called over your shoulder, “Have you ever tried macarons? They’re not exactly full of nutritional value, but they’re really good.” No response. You held the half-full box of the sweet cookies against your chest and turned around; Fives made himself perfectly at home. His head rested on your favorite pillow and his legs were sprawled out, taking over the entire bed. His head was tilted towards you, a grin on his face. 
You felt your body get pulled by him, mindlessly walking over to your bed, sitting down on the edge near his knee. The box of macarons still in your hand, you pulled one out and passed it to Fives. He took it, staring at it before shoving the whole thing in his mouth. You couldn’t help but giggle at his facial expression when his tastebuds activated, signaling the rest his body of just how delicious those cookies were. You raised a brow with a large smile on your face, nodding to him as he swallowed. 
“Another?” You laughed as Fives quickly grabbed at the second macaron you held out to him. You chewed one down with him, and after a few minutes of nothing but chewing sounds, the box grew empty.
“What do you usually do for fun when you’re not out doing medical stuff?” Fives had just swallowed the last macaron, smacking his lips and savoring the flavor. He was still sprawled out on your bed, looking extremely comfy and content. You smiled at him as you thought about your life before coming to Kamino.
“I used to go out a lot, back on Coruscant. I made a lot of friends at the academy, and they always wanted to go out and drink and dance. It was fun.”
“I guess there’s no club or cantina here, is there?”
You laughed. “Nope. It’s quite unfortunate.” You let your hair loose and combed at the slightly tangled strands with your fingers. “What about you? You know, when you’re not out doing ‘war stuff’.” Fives laughed at his own phrasing being thrown back at him, but was fixated on what you were doing with your hair.
“I enjoy going out with the guys. Rex, Kix, Jesse. I have a lot of brothers, but they’re the closest ones to me. Well, what’s left of them anyway.” Removing your fingers from your hair snapped Fives’ attention back to your face. You hated to admit that you had almost forgotten about Tup. You didn’t know exactly how close they were, but the bond was clear when you saw the lengths Fives had gone through so far for Tup. 
“I’m truly sorry about Tup, Fives. This whole thing... it- it just isn’t right.”
“It isn’t just Tup - before him, it was Hevy, Echo, Hardcase. All good soldiers - good brothers - but they’re gone. We were born to die in this war, and I’ve come to terms with that... it doesn’t mean I can’t miss them, though.” It was hard to imagine yourself in Fives’ shoes, well, any of the clones’ shoes honestly. They were bred specially for this war, right here. You didn’t think about that fact too much before meeting Fives, but now...
“I only somewhat met Tup, but I know for a fact that all your brothers were and are the greatest men in the galaxy. If they’re anything like you.” You caught  yourself blushing like a fool, turning your face away from Fives’ gaze. Fives lightly chuckled, his hand coming up towards you when-
Knock knock knock.
Fives looked back and forth between your frozen form and the door with wide eyes. You quite honestly froze. Who in the fuck would be paying you a visit - today of all days?
“Aren't you going to get that?” Sarcasm, even through a whisper. Shaking your head in disbelief, you slapped Fives’ thigh and motioned for him to get back up into the ceiling.
“Miss Renna?” The unmistakable voice of a Kaminoan came from the other side of the door, followed by a couple more gentle knocks.
“I’ll be right there!” You called in that direction, lightly smacking Fives’ legs to hurry up as he finally disappeared from the room and into the vents. Brushing off your clothing and giving yourself a onceover in the entry mirror, you took a deep breath and hit the button to open the door. Two Kaminoan doctors stood just outside looking innocent enough, datapads pressed into their slender torsos.
Fighting the urge to roll your eyes, “Good evening, doctors. Can I help you?”
“We did not see you in the archives today, Miss Renna. We know you worked with contaminated clones for the past few days, and wanted to make sure you were feeling alright.”
“I appreciate the check-in, doctors, but I am feeling fine. I suppose I am a little shook up after watching one of the patients pass, however.” You weren’t exactly lying.
“I understand,” the second Kaminoan chimed in. “It does not get easier - to have a patient die on you - but it becomes bearable. If you want to become a doctor, these are things you will need to get used to.” You managed a weak smile and nodded to them.
“Thank you for stopping by, doctors. I will be sure to get some sleep tonight. Have a nice evening.” The two long-necks nodded and headed down the corridor. You peeked your head out and watched them until they turned the corner and were out of sight. Shutting the door and leaning against it, you let out a breath you were unknowingly holding in
“That was a close one,” Fives peeked out from the vent with a huge grin on his face. You looked up at him, shaking your head at his smartass comment. Even in times like these, Fives still had a sense of humor and let it shine.
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. Looks like I completely disregarded and forgot about my duties for the day.”
“I’m sorry.” Fives descended from the ceiling and sat back down on your bed.
“No! You do not need to be sorry. You aren’t making these decisions for me, Fives.”
“Well... at least let me apologize for something. I’m sorry you met me? Or, sorry that you helped me even though you said it was 100% your decision? Does that work?” Fives’ cheeky grin made you chuckle as he teasingly patted the space next to him. You obliged, sitting right on the bed where he was motioning for you to.
“I’m not sorry that I helped you. If anything, you helped me. Not only were you my first patient, you helped me see you clones in a different light. I’ve seen things with you that I would’ve never seen in any reports or files. I’m not sorry that I met you, Fives. I don’t think you realize how you’ve changed my life in only a few days of knowing you.” All those words flew out of your mouth like vomit, spewing out before you could even think about what they meant or how they would sound. Fives’ silence made you feel anxious. You obviously had feelings for Fives - both emotional and physical - but you were sure he only knew about the physical ones. Was he turned off by the accidental oversharing of your emotions? You looked down at your feet, digging your heels into the carpet when you felt the mattress move up and down - Fives was bouncing on his butt like a youngling.
“Your bed is probably the most comfortable thing I’ve ever laid on. Us clones basically sleep on duracrete blocks, you know.”
Okay, Fives didn’t exactly acknowledge your heartfelt word vomit, but he didn’t ignore it, either. He just... played it cool. That’s okay, you can work with cool. Another bolt of confidence surged through you when his hand came up and rested gently on your knee.
“Well, why don’t you sleep on it tonight.”
“No karking way, this is your bed. Where are you going to sleep, on the floor?”
“No, I would never sleep on the floor in my own room,” you jested, rolling your eyes at him. Your ever-increasing confidence encouraged a ploy - an idea that would have you sleeping together for sure. “I offered you to take my bed and was planning on joining you, that okay?” You raised a brow and smiled at Fives. His eyes widened and his signature cheeky grin crept on his face.
“Yeah- yeah that is definitely okay.”
***
Lights out.
The position you were in was not the most comfortable in the world; your bed was designed to only sleep one, so you were angled nearly on top of Fives while he was scooted all the way against the wall, laying somewhere in between flat on his back and on his side. Fives had pulled you into him, his thick arms hugging you from behind. 
Your room was pitch black and silent - save for the steady breaths coming from the both of you, alternating but in sync. You were frozen, held tightly in Fives’ arms, unable to move a muscle - it’s not like you minded, really. It had been a long, long time since you’d been held like this. You had a feeling it was the same for Fives, too.
“Fives?” A broken whisper escaped your lips and his breaths paused for a moment in response, letting his grip on you loosen just a little bit.
“Sorry... I-” He caught himself before continuing, “I just-” 
“It’s okay,” You interrupted him with understanding, placing your hands onto his arms to secure them against your stomach. You get it. 
You were sure Fives wanted to do more than cuddle tonight - as did you - but sleep quickly overcame him; hearing his breaths become more shallow as quiet snores erupted from his nose made you smile. You weren't disappointed, not at all - in fact, you were completely content with the sweet intimacy being shared between the two of you, knowing that it was something you both desperately needed. If you two were meant to go beyond this - beyond flirtatious words and touching and cuddling - then it will happen. For now, letting Fives hang on to you while he slept - you were basically acting as sort of a security blanket - was more than okay.
***
Your eyes opened to complete darkness and you were slightly confused on where you were and why there was an intense pressure wrapped around your body. You tried to sit up, but the way you were effectively held in place kept you from moving. Panic soared through you in your groggy, exhausted state as you tried to wiggle free; your breathing picked up in your struggle until a familiar voice coming from behind grounded you as the pressure was removed from your torso, allowing you to finally sit up.
“Renna, it’s okay! It’s me, it’s me.” You felt a palm rest atop your shoulder; you sighed and went back to laying down as you lifted your own hand to rest atop his.
Chuckling nervously, “Ha, sorry. I guess I haven’t slept next to anyone in a long time and my brain forgot what it was like. Sorta went into panic mode.” 
“Yeah,” Fives chuckled and caressed your cheek with the back of his hand. “I got that impression.” It was silent for a minute when you snapped yourself out of the bliss.
“How long were we out for? Kark, you probably need to get going.” Wait - shit, did you just sound like you were trying to get rid of him? A moment of panic. “I just meant-”
“It’s alright, I know you’re not trying to kick me out of here.” He snorted. “I do need to get going.” Fives sounded... hesitant. A beat. “I wanted to ask... never mind.” Fives finally sat up, shuffling off the bed and somehow finding his way through the dark to turn on the light. The new brightness blinded you for a moment as you shielded your eyes with your arm. You sunk deeper into the bed when Fives came to sit back down on the edge of the bed next to you.
“What? What do you wanna ask?” You removed your arm from your face and noted the look of hesitation - and... admiration? -  in his eyes as he looked down at you. You more than likely didn’t look very nice at that moment since you had just woken up; you felt loose stands of hair sticking to your cheeks, your eyes were half open and crusty, and your breath more than likely reeked.
“I just- I want you to come with me. I realize that you have other duties here, and that I’ve already asked so much of you and-”
You sat up. “I already told you I’d help you, Fives.” You had told him while still crawling in the vents, but you were hesitant on being physically by his side during the tumor investigation - you were planning on helping from the sidelines in any way you could, like offering up your room for him to lay low in, or finding out what you could in the archives for example. Your mind was changing, though. You whole heartedly wanted to be by Fives’ side through this thing. “I’ll go with you.”
Fives’ eyes lighted up with your admission, but his happiness was quickly replaced with hesitation. His face showed every emotion he was feeling so clearly - it was one of the things you liked the most about him, how expressive Fives can be.
“Renna... I’m just worried about what would happen if you were seen with me. This time, I mean. You weren’t dismissed before, but-”
“Mister stubborn ARC trooper, please stop arguing with me. Fuck my duties, let them dismiss me. I don’t want to keep interning here anyway.” That was the absolute truth. You placed your hands on Fives’ shoulders, pulling him closer to you (oh well to your stinky breath) so you could get it into his thick head, “I am going with you.”
***
Reading the time as you put on your chrono, you realized how it was still very early in the morning; most of the staff was more than likely sleeping, making it the perfect opportunity to head out. The two of you could probably evade the straggling troopers roaming the corridors.
Opening the door to your room and peeking his head out to scan the area, Fives nodded at you and waved for you to follow. “I need to check something out first. It shouldn’t take long.” You nodded. “Stay close to me.”
You tailed Fives as close as you could without tripping over him, keeping your guard up high while constantly looking behind you as he headed in the direction of the medical wing. What exactly did he need to check? The medical wing was too risky right now, even if it was early in the morning-
“Oh, skrag.” Fives halted, making you bump into him while your head was turned back. You whipped around, quickly noticing oncoming troopers who were being waved over by a couple Kaminoans passing by. Fives was quick to get into an attack stance, his arm shooting out to keep you behind him. You put some distance between you and Fives, realizing what was about to take place. Time to put on the innocent and frightened medical intern act. 
“There he is!” A guard called out while one long-neck hurried over to the large button protruding from the wall, slamming it with his palm. The alarm sounded, filling the corridors with sirens, lights turning from bright white to red. One guard immediately aimed his blaster at Fives; Fives turned around like he sensed it, smacking the weapon out of the guard’s hands and punctuating with an uppercut to the underside of his bucket. Another trooper ran into the scene - weapon aimed and ready - when Fives rushed over and grabbed at it. The pair fought for the blaster, but Fives gave the trooper a knee to his side, leaving the blaster up for grabs. Fives took it and slammed it over the trooper’s head, rendering him unconscious. One more trooper entered the ring as Fives ran over towards him and chucked the blaster he won from the previous trooper into the third trooper’s bucket, catching him off guard, then grabbed at his blaster, swinging it into his legs to knock him off his feet.
The Kaminoans in the area fled the scene, holding on to each other as they scurried away. Confused medical droids floated nearby, unsure of how to calculate what had just taken place. You were frozen, leaning against the wall to the right of Fives, watching him kneel to catch his breath then gazing over the three defeated troopers who lay sprawled out, knocked out. Finally unfreezing from your spot, you ran over to Fives and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“I can’t believe... what you just did.” You didn’t make your comment sound accusatory, but there was a hint of shock and admiration in your tone as you let out a quiet chuckle to yourself. Truth be told, seeing Fives in action like that was extremely arousing. You’d never seen what he was capable of with your own eyes before - just things you read about in his files. Here he was in front of you, and he had fought hard using nothing but his pure strength and agility. What an absolute turn on.
“They will not erase my mind.” Fives shot up and turned around to face you, grabbing your face and cradled it in his hands after tugging a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “They won’t get near me, and they won’t get near you.” The warmth of his hands - the same hands that just assisted in kicking three armed troopers’ shebs - were warm against your cheeks. You could stay in that moment forever, but the alarm blasting over the overcomms faded back into your ears. “We gotta get out of here.” Fives released your face and tugged your arm, guiding you down the hall in a sprint; you would be struggling to keep up with his enhanced speed if his hand wasn’t latched around your forearm. With his free arm, he swung droids out of the path left and right, sending them in spirals against the wall. He led you to his old room - a room where you definitely should not be camping out in.
Confusion and fear set in as you approached the closed door. Hopefully there weren’t any troopers inside waiting, though after what you had just witnessed you knew you’d be more than okay with Fives at your side.
“Why are we here?” Fives pushed the button and ushered you inside, and headed straight to the counter where a closed case sat atop of it. Instead of answering you, Fives opened the case, brows furrowing and eyes narrowing at what was inside. You recognized it instantly - it was the tumor you had removed from Tup.
“I knew it. Nala Se switched the cases.” Fives grabbed the encased tumor and held it up in front of you. “She’s trying to hide something. You were right, Ren.”
“Fives, what are you talking about? ‘Switched cases’?” Stitting on the cot, you tugged at Fives’ free hand and pulled him to join you. “Hey, tell me what’s going on.” Fives kept his gaze locked on the tumor, holding it tightly against his palm. You reached for it; Fives didn’t hesitate when you grabbed it from him as you held it up to examine it. With a sigh, Fives looked up at you.
“The long-necks and the General came to my room before you did yesterday morning. I was waiting to hear what the Chancellor had to say about the tumor... General Shaak Ti told me that he wanted the tumor and all the intel gathered sent straight to the Grand Republic Medical Facility back on Coruscant. I figured I’d be going back to Coruscant as well, but because of you, now I know that the long-necks had other plans for me.”
You met Fives’ eyes and smiled, reaching down to lay your hand atop his. If you had kept walking, or even left your quarters a minute sooner or later than you did, Fives may not be himself right now. Things could have been very different. 
After a moment of silence, Fives continued, “I saw Shaak Ti place the tumor in a case identical to that one,” He nodded to the tumor in your other hand, “Sitting right next to it. The case with the tumor was handed to a droid by Shaak Ti, telling it to prepare the tumor and all data for transit to the Jedi Temple. Nala Se and Shaak Ti argued about where the tumor should be sent first - the medical facility or the Jedi Temple...” Fives didn’t need to finish for you to catch on. You had a bad feeling about Nala Se’s reaction towards you discovering the tumor since that afternoon you had removed it from Tup. Shaking your head in disapproval, you frowned and handed the tumor back to Fives.
“Shaak Ti told me I had one more physical to pass, then I’d be back with my brothers in the 501st.” Fives’ sounded... betrayed. He had put his trust in the wrong beings.
“I didn’t realize Shaak Ti would be on board with having you reconditioned.” You stood up and moved to where the empty case lay.
“I don’t think she was. The long-necks probably had her fooled. Makes sense, since they switched the cases and sent an empty one to the Jedi Temple.” A beat. “I thought I saw that droid purposefully pick up the wrong case as they left me alone in the room, and turns out I was right.” Fives stood up and joined you, closing the decoy case and grabbing your hand to place the tumor back in your palm.
It was clear that Nala Se could not be trusted. How many other Kaminoans were in on this? What about the Prime Minister, Lama Su? This had to go all the way up to the top, since you were sure you had heard Lama Su’s voice along with the others while you were listening in. The tumor was back in your possession - now what?
“Well, what are we supposed to do now? The entire city is looking for you - well, us.” You tucked the tumor securely into the pocket in your leggings - where nothing could ever slip out. The look in Fives’ eyes was telling - he definitely already had a plan.
“We’re gonna need a distraction. Remember how I mentioned that I needed to get to the hangar?” 
***
Running down glowing red corridors with alarms blaring while in tow with a man who was now labeled as a fugitive was something you never pictured yourself doing. 
You’d only ever visited the hangar once, and that was over six months ago when you first arrived on this gloomy and stormy planet. Fives apparently knew where he was going, though - not surprising. Large and open bay doors came into view after a few minutes of running. Entering the hangar and seeing what lay in front of you was quite the opposite view of that of a medical facility. Cranes hovered about, their claws grasping shipping pods and moving them around. Seeing troopers wearing yellow jumpsuits and silly hats threw you off guard - you were only ever used to seeing them plastoid or the red Kaminoan clone outfits - as they directed the cranes and the small, spherical Kaminoan pods into their rightful places. 
It seemed at this point that Fives was making no attempt at being stealthy as he casually strutted through the open hangar to the other side nearest the port. You followed behind him, attempting to be casual as well. Some heads turned in your direction, though, and that was probably because you of all people were tailing this trooper. 
Fives approached a pilot descending the ramp to a ship; the pilot respectfully saluted at him and Fives reciprocated.  
“I’m sorry sir,” the pilot’s hand shot up in front of Fives, ceasing his strut towards the ship. “All ships are locked down during the emergency.” Emergency? Obviously the clones working in the hangar had no idea what was actually going on, since none of them had made an attempt to attack Fives or call for help.
Fives looked over at you, raised a brow, and shrugged. You were motionless, but noted Fives’ look in his eyes. Nope, a locked down ship won’t do. 
“Oh?” Fives pointed behind the pilot, “What about that one?” The unsuspecting pilot whipped around; Fives took the opportunity to send a hard punch right into his gut, knocking him unconscious. There was that raw strength again. Your eyes widened as you looked around the hangar, checking for heads turned in your direction. The coast seemed to be clear; Fives swung the unconscious pilot’s arm around his shoulders and dragged him over behind a crate. You heard him mumble a “sorry, brother” as he slid his helmet back on the slumped over pilot. 
Just as Fives was standing back up, a distant voice shouted, “There he is!” You froze again, watching Fives’ reaction to the incoming guards. 
“Tell them you found me,” Fives hissed over to you. “Grab my arm.”
“What?” Fives’ glanced down at your hand, eyebrows raising. You got the hint, and reached down to tug at his arm.
“Pull hard. You won’t hurt me, Renna.” You pulled as hard as you could, Fives making a show of playfully resisting. You smirked at him and you nearly fell on your ass from how hard you were tugging on him, adding your other hand and digging the balls of your feet into the duracrete to keep up the act.
“I’ll be back soon. Tell them you found me here. Go!” Fives snatched his arm out of your grasp and ascended the ramp to the ship, sending you falling flat on your tailbone. The ship shot out of the port, leaving twin prink trails in its wake. A arm reached down to you, fully covered in gray and white plastoid, and helped you stand upright. You mumbled a “thanks” to the trooper, realizing Fives’ idea had worked - they had no idea you were helping him. You rubbed your surely bruised tailbone and lower back, wincing at the sensitivity. 
“I found him, General. I tried to stop him-”
“I want him brought in alive,” Shaak Ti interrupted you as she commanded the troopers that surrounded. “Have that ship tracked.” A trooper nodded, running off in the other direction with the rest in tow, leaving you alone with the General. She turned to you, a look of discern on her face.
“Did Fives say anything to you?” 
“No. No, ma’am. I caught up to him as he knocked out the pilot,” you pointed to where Fives had rested his unconscious brother behind a crate. “I figured I could reason with him. Since, you know, he was my patient and all.” The need to keep your voice steady was never more important. You were speaking to a Jedi. Any waver in your voice - or even a nervous thought - could give yourself away.
“You tried your best, Miss... Renna, is it?” You nodded, dry-swallowing a clump of air. “Thank you for your efforts.” With that, Shaak Ti turned and headed towards the bay doors, leaving your alone to stare off into the early morning sky, following the pink trail coming from Fives’ ship as far as your eyes could see. 
You’d wait for him to return.
He said he’ll be back. 
***
tags: @bvcketfvcker​ @deewithani​ @chromia7567 ​@cyaniderainfall
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jimmys-zeppelin · 3 years
Text
ghostin'
chapter fifteen
(table of contents)
(chapter fourteen)
june 26, 1976
"We're here today with Miss Ellie Saunders, singer and writer of the newest song going up in the pop charts, Songbird! Would you like to say hello to our audience, Ellie?"
"Hi, everyone! Thank you so much, Bill for having me on."
"Pleasure's all mine. Last time we had you in the studio was...two years ago with your single, Dreamer, isn't that right?"
"Very much so! Since then lots of things have changed." Ellie chuckled, reflecting on the past for a split second.
"Yeah, you were just a wide-eyed kid who had no idea what the business was like or where you were going. Nice to see you settled down. Now, you're with Led Zeppelin's guitarist, Jimmy Page, right? How's that working out with their constant touring?"
Ellie visibly tensed. If they were there to talk about Jimmy, they should have just called him on instead, but alas she was polite and answered the question. "Yes, Jimmy and I are together," she chuckled nervously, "Well, we manage our time pretty well. He's currently away doing his stuff and I'm working on my new album, but we find time to get a phone call in before bed...middle of the night," she laughed, "we find a way."
"Adorable, you two are. So this album of yours? Got a title yet? And what kind of songs are we going to see on it?"
"Not yet," Ellie answered, but quickly saved herself, "we have a working one, but even that's under wraps for now. As for songs, they're mostly just your regular old love songs I guess. The experimental piece was actually one I plan to release soon. I really hope my fans enjoy it. It took a lot to write it."
"And the title?"
Ellie looked over to Carolyn, who sat across the room puffing on a cigarette. The brunette nodded at the blonde, allowing her to speak on the song, "Well the song is called Sign of the Times. It's about seeing a change in someone you love and having to accept it. It could be with a wife, husband, lover, friend; anyone you hold dear who you just...can't help but worry about." She explained, getting lost in her own words as she thought about Jimmy. "As you can see I'm still a bit raw about it," Ellie lightly rubbed at her watering eyes.
"Do you miss your person?" Bill asked, suddenly becoming quite sincere.
Ellie met his gaze, nodding, "I do." she said, thinking of what lie to tell people to convince them she wasn't talking about her lanky, dark-haired boyfriend.
"Well, now onto what you're here for. Tell me about Songbird, then."
"Um, well...there was a slight bit of a rough patch lately that affected me a bit. I decided to get my trusty notebook out and spew out all the words that would come. And Songbird came out of that."
"Some beautiful acoustic on there, who did it?"
"I did! Jimmy's not the only one who's well-spoken in the ways of a guitar in this relationship. Although I did want him to come play on it for me, our schedules just didn't line up." She shrugged.
"Incredible. Well, here it is, folks. The new song by Ellie Saunders: Songbird." Bill said, fiddling with some buttons and getting his turntable ready before removing his headphones, "you can take those off now." he said.
Ellie removed the bulky headphones from her hair and held them idly in her lap as her song played out to the broader Los Angeles area. She knew it wasn't the first time a station had played the song in the week or so that it'd been out, but it was different knowing that she was right there while it was playing out to thousands of people. It was daunting if anything.
"Ellie that was great. Thank you so much for coming on!" Bill said, standing to shake Ellie's hand. The singer mirrored his actions and went in for a handshake, returning the favor.
"Thank you for asking me to come on. It was a pleasure. Maybe I'll come back when Sign of the Times comes out." She said with a wink.
"Of course," Bill replied, "tell me. In confidence; off the record. Is there a title for the new record?"
Ellie contemplated her honest answer, then exhaled through her nose in a laugh before answering, "No, actually. I have no idea what it's called. I've been so focused on writing songs that...I just haven't had time to think of a title, honestly." Ellie laughed as she spewed the honest truth.
Bill laughed out loud at the comment, giving Ellie a pat on the back, "Seriously, Ellie, come back any time. New song, new album, or if you just wanna chat with me for the morning segment. It would be great."
"Thank you so much, Bill." She repeated as she started picking up her bags. Carolyn put out her cigarette in an ashtray near the microphones and gave Bill a firm handshake. The women left the building shortly after.
After they'd been settled in the car to take them back to the studio, they finally got a chance to take a breather and relax. Things had been moving at a touch and go pace since finishing the two bigger singles. The rest of the songs still needed more, Ellie thought. It often occupied her mind just what she wanted to add to each song. That and Jimmy.
Not only was she concerned about him, she found herself getting increasingly more discouraged when she spoke with him. Like she was walking on eggshells when it came to a conversation with him. If either of them said the wrong thing, the other would get set off. Ellie found herself as more of the latter. She hated arguing while they were away from each other, but she couldn't help comment about his activities. He knew her disdain of it and it seemed there wasn't much else to talk they had to talk about since their days were full of nothingness lately.
Andrew came over late that night. One more song on the album had been finalized and he deemed it enough to celebrate. Five of twelve songs completed, in case anyone was counting.
"Cheers to another amazing song by my best friend." Andrew said, raising a glass of some old whiskey Ellie had had hidden in her house since she'd moved in. The blonde could hardly remember who had given it to her. It seemed it just was a part of the house at that point.
They clinked glasses and each took a sip, both inevitably coughing and gagging at the taste and giggling at their reactions. Their conversation carried on until Ellie's eyes wandered to her stack of mail. Since getting home she hadn't had much time to give it a look so she gave each letter a once-over before focusing on Andrew again. That was the plan, at least.
However, a postcard caught her eye and she couldn't help but pick it up.
'Sunset Strip, Hollywood, California' Read the front as it was decorated with a photo of the infamous Sunset Strip at night. Ellie flipped over the postcard, her eyes quickly darting past the words that had been scrawled onto the paper.
'I recall you saying something about the Sunset Strip calling your name when we went out for dinner. How about we go out again sometime soon? You can be a Dreamer about life again. Call me when you get this. 213-xxx-xxxx
Hugs, Roger
P.S. Did you get the reference of your song that I used?
P.P.S. Ask for Simon Ferocious'
The blonde furrowed her eyebrows, but was delighted at the prospect that Roger would send her a postcard. She reached for the phone, starting to dial the numbers.
"What's up?" Andrew asked, taking another sip of the blasted whiskey, to which he exhaled sharply only seconds later. He set the cup down in disgust.
"It's Roger. He's in California. Told me to call him." Ellie replied, handing the man the postcard as his hands reached out for it. The line rang while Andrew exhaled through his nose, laughing at the corny jokes made in the letter.
"Ritz Los Angeles, my name is Angela. How can I be of service to you this evening?" The woman on the other line said. Ellie was taken aback slightly at the discovery of the Ritz's hotel having been the main point of contact for Roger.
"Uh, hi. I'm calling for a Simon Ferocious staying at your hotel." Ellie said, trying to hold back her laughter.
"And who's asking?" She asked.
"Say it's Mrs. Page. He'll know who it is."
"I'll put you through."
"Thank you."
Silence came through the phone before the Hold music shortly began. An ear-raping jazz number made Ellie put the phone down as soon as the music started.
"Simon Ferocious?" Andrew asked, having come back into the living room with a near-empty bottle of blush wine Ellie had been keeping in the fridge along with two flutes. She shrugged as he poured the rest out for the both of them as the infernal jazz finally came to an end.
"Mr. Ferocious for you, ma'am." The woman said.
"Thank you," Ellie paused waiting for the clicks before Roger's familiar rasp came through.
"Mrs. Page, hm?" Roger asked.
"I heard we weren't giving out our real names." Ellie laughed, twirling the phone cord around her finger. Her eyes followed Andrew as he walked over to her record collection beside the turntable.
"Well, I had good reason. I'm staying on the down low."
"Is that it? Who's Simon Ferocious, then?" she asked as the sounds of a song she couldn't quite place by Led Zeppelin came flooding through the speakers. The song was from a  special release pressing Jimmy had gifted her when Physical Graffiti was released the previous year. Close friends and family received them. Ellie had been honored to say the least.
Roger chuckled, "A guy looking to take you out to a show. Someone there with you?"
"Just Andrew. He's my best friend—"
"And I'm gay!" Andrew shouted across the room.
"Nothing to worry about." Ellie smiled, and though Roger couldn't see it, he could sense it.
"Right. Simon Ferocious is something Fred called Sid Vicious because he was bothering him one day in the studio," Roger laughed, "Ask him about it one day, he'll get so cross about it."
"I think I might. Feel like you're not doing the story justice." Ellie chuckled. "So is Mr. Ferocious going to take me out to a show?"  She asked as Andrew returned to his seat on the floor across from the singer, munching on a cracker that was sitting on a plate.
"I was hoping to today, actually. Then I heard you on the radio this morning and thought you might be busy."
Ellie apologized for the delay, "I got your postcard yesterday, I just didn't bother to look at my mail because it was all mixed with bills and other junk that it got lost. I'd ditch Andrew for you any night."
"Bitch!" The aforementioned man exclaimed, slapping Ellie on the shoulder with a push. A bubbly, hearty laugh left her throat as she fell back onto the floor.
Catching her breath, she confessed, "We're getting a little tipsy." she giggled. "How much longer are you in LA? I'll make it up to you."
"I leave on the 5th of July. I have to be back in London so we can start the new album."
"Well let's go to a Fourth of July celebration! I think my record label's throwing one. They're usually on top of some pretty rooftops. It'll make for a great view."
"It's a date then. Keep me posted on this...roof party."
"Didn't I give you my phone number, Rog?"
"..."
"Hm?"
"I dropped the slip of paper in a puddle on the day I got here. God's honest truth, El. Which is why I sent you a postcard."
"I'll entertain that story for a while...." she joked, "I can give it to you again, if you'd like."
"Yes please." Roger said sheepishly; a shuffling audible in the background.
"626...."
---
masterlist | playlist
Taglist: @diaryofafan17 @tophats-n-lespauls @witchesdust @jonesyjonesyjonesy @paginate54 @hejustsatisfiess @salixfragilis @princesspagey @reincarnated70sbaby @rebel-without-a-zeppelin @kyunisixx if you want to be added to the list lmk!
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cjsinkythoughts · 3 years
Text
Erased From the Stars: Chapter 2
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 4254
Series Warnings: Toxic Relationships, Cheating, Physical Abuse, Underage Drinking, Drug Use (marijuana), Motor Vehicle Accident, Cursing
Chapter Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of Sex, Cocky Bucky, Nervous Bucky, Bucky Bucky
A/N: I actually have ideas for this story, so I’m cranking it out! I definitely wasn’t expecting to post today, but here we are! This chapter has a lot of dialogue and some of Reader’s thoughts, but not much action, yet. We’re kind of still getting in the roll of things, it still being the first week of college and all that. We do get to meet Bucky, though! Next chapter we’ll meet mostly everyone else, and there will be more things happening other than classes and work. I kinda feel like I’m rushing these first few chapters, so I’m sorry about that, but it’s mostly introductions and setting up the story and I’m the type of person who likes writing the climax and only the climax. So this is steady growth for me.
I do want to point out the series warnings, just in case! I don’t want anyone feeling uncomfortable or being triggered while reading this so please take those seriously as it will happen later on in the story! Thank you!
Once again, this isn’t beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you for reading and please enjoy!
Erased From the Stars Masterlist
cjsinkythoughts’ Masterlist
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You woke up in a much better mood on Tuesday, having gotten more sleep than the previous night, especially considering how tired you were when you got home past midnight from working at Shield. You crashed as soon as your head hit the pillow.
You took your time getting ready and eating breakfast, saying bye to Christine and the kids, leaving first that time since your Public Speaking class started before Kayla’s preschool did.
Which you were late to.
Of course as soon as you let your guard down, thinking you’d be fine since your first day was fine, you weren’t fine. 
Fortunately, you were only a few minutes late and didn’t miss anything, since today would be another day of going over rules and course requirements for the two new classes you had.
Public Speaking was the worst. You’re older - and only - sister, Kimberly, convinced you to take the class after saying it was one of her favorites. Of course, you forgot that you and Kim were very different people. For starting at 9:05, it was too early of a class, especially when the whole point was, you know, public speaking. You hadn’t done anything yet, but one glance at the plans your professor had for the semester and you were dreading it already.
Your next class was a US History lecture, which started fifteen minutes after Public Speaking. You were again late because you severely underestimated how far the buildings were and your professor let you out a bit later than you anticipated.
You practically threw all your stuff into your bag the moment he dismissed you and sprinted out.
Arriving, you tried slipping in as silently as possible, but the door slammed shut, rather loudly, making you cringe. You felt yourself heat up as several pairs of eyes snapped towards you, but luckily the professor, Coulson you remembered, was just gathering papers and hadn’t started yet. Ignoring your peers - none of whom you knew and you weren’t sure if that made it worse or not - you shuffled over to the nearest empty seat a few rows down and to the right. You were surprised and extremely grateful to find it was an aisle seat.
Pulling out your laptop, you huffed when it wouldn’t turn on. You hadn’t used it in your previous class, meaning it was dead before, but you could’ve sworn you plugged it in last night. Whatever. You were fine with pen and paper.
“Aw shit.” You resisted the urge to smack your head on the table as you dug through your bag. Seriously?! You forgot to pack a pen?! That couldn’t have been your only pen, right?!
This is why you were anxious. Next morning, you swore you’d get up early and triple check to make sure you had everything.
You quietly threw your bag to the ground and slumped in your seat, your arms crossed. That meant you couldn’t even doodle! You had to sit there for over an  hour and listen to this guy talk about another syllabus. Joy.
Suddenly, something hit you in the back of your head. You rubbed where it hit and looked down at your feet, eyebrows knitting together at the scrunched up ball of paper sitting there. “Psst.” Another hit to the head made you whip around, glaring at the culprit.
“What?” You hissed before faltering. Damn. Now that was one hell of a specimen.
Steel blue eyes crinkled at the corner as pink lips pulled up into an entertained grin, pearly whites on display. Sharp jawline covered with light scruff. Fluffy chestnut hair styled with the perfect amount of gel fell a little past his ears, with a single pesky strand falling in his eyes. The white shirt he was wearing was loose with a low collar, a leather jacket thrown over it. You could see the combat boots from underneath the table. He was a pretty boy, yeah, but you hung out with (*cough cough* dated) enough guys dressed like him in high school to know his game.
“Need a pen?” He offered in a whisper, holding up the said object.
“Uhm…yes?”
He smirked, leaning forwards in his chair, closer to you. “I’ll let you have it on one condition.” You raised an eyebrow, giving him a pointed look. “Just a name, babygirl. Yours, specifically.”
You rolled your eyes, glancing around the room to see if you were disturbing anybody. Not seeing anyone paying attention to you two, you turned back to him. “Y/N.”
“Bucky.” He introduced himself, reaching over to shake your hand. You took it, a bit hesitant, blinking when you felt something fall into your palm once he pulled back. The pen.
“I, uh, thanks.”
He winked at you, leaning back in his chair, hands linked behind his head. “No problem, doll.”
You turned back to the lecture, holding in your scoff at his pet name, hating the fact that it nearly made you smile. He was definitely a fuckboy and you told yourself before college that you wouldn’t play around with them anymore.
So you tuned him out of your mind for the rest of the lecture and, thank God, you had to rush out of class once it ended because you had to work in half an hour, not even letting the blue eyed pretty boy say a word in your direction.
You worked for the rest of the day, Russo’s for lunch, a few hours break to look over school stuff and have dinner with your family, before Shield from 9 to 1. It was fine. Long, but nothing you weren’t used to already. You really enjoyed both your jobs and you got lucky with your bosses. 
Joe and Anthony were brothers who took over Russo’s for their parents. The pizzeria had been in their family for generations, and they gladly took on the tradition. They had kids of their own and dealt with their school, so they were very understanding - almost parental - to you.
Phillips had started Shield after retiring from the Army, wanting to settle down with a place to drink, smoke, and play poker with his buddies. He was stern, but that was to be expected. He always told you, “you can take the man out of the Army, but you can’t take the Army out of the man.” Despite him being strict, though, he was reasonable, and had taken a liken to you since the moment you stepped foot in the bar.
And not only did you like your jobs, the money wasn’t too bad either.
But, despite that, you were still human, and having two back-to-back college classes and then working two jobs for over eight hours was draining.
You made sure everything was ready for the next day before you left for Shield, that way you could just get home, change, and sleep. Tuesday might’ve been a rough starting day, but you’d learn for Thursday, and Wednesday’s morning was definitely better.
Peter even texted you his coffee order, telling you he’d probably be late. You chuckled to yourself when you got the text at breakfast. You totally called it.
In his defense, he really was running late, and you could tell just by looking at him. One shoe untied, hair messy like he just rolled out of bed, sweater haphazardly thrown on like it was an afterthought, which it probably was.
“You,” he puffed, sinking into his chair and taking the coffee cup you held out. “Are my savior and I’ll love you until the end of time.”
You chuckled, shaking your head. “And you, my friend, are so much more chaotic than I thought. What’d you do? Stay up until three last night?”
He shrugged, shooting you an innocent smile while his cheeks turned red. “I got caught up binge watching Clone Wars.”
“Of course you did. Here’s the notes you missed so far.”
He gave you an adoring smile. “Did I tell you I love you?”
“Yeah, yeah. Sap. Hurry and copy them down so I don’t miss anything.”
********************
It was when you were checking your things Wednesday night when you realized you had an extra pen. It took you a moment to remember the blue eyed pretty boy from Coulson’s History lecture, but when you did you groaned.
Your dating record in high school was pretty bad. Not that you would really call it dating. But Whitney was right when she said it was you wanting attention. It wasn’t easy being the middle of seven. But you dealt with it and now that you were across the country from your family - who you loved but Jesus Christ did you need a break - you didn’t need to act out to seek attention. 
You were an adult. Meaning you wouldn’t goof off with guys like that anymore. Meaning you didn’t even want to talk to guys like that anymore.
Meaning you were severely regretting taking his stupid pen.
Maybe he wouldn’t notice if you didn’t give it back. Yeah. Maybe you could just ignore him and he won’t even remember that he let you borrow it.
Those were your hopes as you walked into your US History lecture, taking the seat you had on Tuesday.
“On time today? Glad to see we’re learning.” And there go your hopes, crashing straight into the floor, shattering into millions of tiny pieces. Going for ‘not interested’, you quirked an eyebrow, twisting your head as a bag landed on the table next to your open laptop, a body falling into the seat beside you. The leather jacket was replaced with a denim one, his black button up tighter around his chest than Tuesday’s white t-shirt. “And you charged your computer! Very nice, doll.”
You shrugged, going back to your doodling. “Time management’s always been a bit of an issue for me.”
“Ah. Gotchu, gotchu. I’ve got a pal like that too. A couple of them, actually.” He chuckled. “Is that why you high-tailed outta here Tuesday?”
“I’ve got work right after this class.” You answered shortly.
He leaned his elbow on the table, his legs spread as he turned fully to, a slight smirk on his face. “I haven’t seen you ‘round campus before. You new here? A freshman? You don’t look like it.”
You hummed. “Maybe. It’s a big campus.”
“Which you don’t live on.” 
Frowning at the question that he said more like a statement, you moved your head back to him. “I don’t?”
He shook his head, setting his cheek in his palm. “Nope. I know everyone who lives on campus.”
A bit distracted due to Professor Coulson just walking in and announcing the lesson for the day, you hummed and shut your notebook and set up a page on your laptop for notes. “Everyone, huh?”
He nodded with a click of his tongue. “I get around.”
There it was. “Oh? A party animal?”
“I wouldn’t say that. My friends and I are just outgoing. We enjoy life.”
“Enjoy life or enjoy getting into girl’s pants?”
He hissed, shaking his hand like he burned it. “Ouch, doll. That stung. For your information, quite a few people in my group are goin’ steady. And we’re of mixed genders and sexualities. It’s not always girls’ pants.”
You raised an eyebrow, turning to him while still trying to pay attention. “For you or your group.”
“Does it matter?” He shrugged. “Would it bother you if I did fuck guys? ‘Cause I have experimented and it’s not half bad.”
“Nope.” You popped the ‘p’, shaking your head. “You do you, pal. Or…do whoever you want to. Now if you don’t mind, I’m trying to-”
He nodded. “Right, right. Yeah. Sorry. Just…listen. I think we got off on the wrong foot. I’m not gonna force you to do anything, you know. Yeah, sure, I’ve seen a few beds around campus, but I’ve got female friends who I don’t sleep with. What if I just wanna be friends with you, huh doll?”
“Just friends?”
“Yup.”
“Really?”
“Uh-huh.”
You narrowed your eyes. “Okay. How many of these so-called female friends you don’t sleep with single?”
He chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “The list gets smaller, but yeah.”
“How about single straight female friends?”
He paused at that, eyebrows scrunched up. After a moment you clicked your tongue with a slight smirk, facing your computer and typing the notes Coulson was writing on the projector. “Hold on, hold on. Yes, I’ve got a few of them. Listen, babygirl, you’re making this a lot harder than it needs to be.”
You scoffed. “Don’t call me ‘babygirl’ and we’ll see where that gets you.”
“Okay, okay. That’s fair. What? Don’t you believe that guys and girls can be friends with nothing between ‘em?”
“Yeah, I do. Just not guys like you.”
He frowned, eyes narrowing. “Well that’s not fair. You don’t even know me!”
“Mister Barnes.” Bucky winced at the teacher’s annoyed shout, before throwing Coulson a dashing grin.
“Hey, Phil! How was your summer, man? You still goin’ out with that cellist?”
The professor raised his eyebrows, unamused. “Is there something you’d like to share with the class?”
“Oh yeah! Thanks for the reminder, Phil!” Bucky stood up and cleared his throat. “Yo! First football game of the season is next Friday! It’s gonna be a blast! Watch out for number 41! Handsome devil’s gonna score the winning touchdown! Avengers assemble, am I right?!”
Coulson gave him an unamused look as the room cheered, making you laugh behind your hand. Bucky fell back into his seat, shooting you a wink as Coulson calmed down the room.
“You’re a football player?”
“Fullback, yes ma’am. Co-captain of the team, in fact.” He smugly leaned his seat onto the back two legs, setting his feet up on the desk.
Unbelievable. Why were you always attracted to these idiots? A player in both senses of the word. “There it is.”
He blinked, his chair falling forwards with a ‘thud’ that made Coulson shot him a warning glare. Bucky smiled innocently, before shifting his chair so he was turned towards you again, the smile turning upside down. “There what is?”
“That cocky, conceited air you fill the room with. Attention is what you live for. I should’ve guessed you were a jock too. I’m surprised you’re not wearing a letterman jacket or something just to make sure everyone knows who you are.”
His frown deepened. “Look, doll. I dunno what you think you know about me, or what you’ve heard-”
“I’ve never heard about you before you lent me a pen Tuesday. Which I appreciate and here it is back, by the way. But I know your type. I’ve been down that road. So excuse me for trying not to make the same mistake twice.”
He stared at the pen you set down by his bag, before his gaze flitted back to you, but you wouldn’t meet those pretty eyes of his. “Fine. Sue me for trying to get to know the new girl.”
“This is a mainly freshman class. Half the girls in here are new.”
“Yeah, but they’re chattering away with the posse they’ve already discovered.” He nodded over across the room. Your eyes scanned the lecture hall to find that he was right. Most girls were giggling and whispering to each other, no doubt freshman straight from high school. The others were most likely maturing sophomores. “And, hey, if you want extra reassurance I’m not trying to get you in my bed; I don’t fuck with freshman. Nothing against you or anything, just…straight outta high school and all that? Not really my jam.”
You eyed him, before shrugging and looking down to make sure you got the notes Coulson was starting to talk about. “Yeah, well, too bad I’m not straight out of high school, then.”
He tilted his head, an eyebrow raising in curiosity. “So you’re not a freshman. I didn’t think you were.”
“No, I am. But I took a year break between high school and college. But if you didn’t think I was a freshman, that reassurance doesn’t really work, now does it.” He opened his mouth to defend himself, but you continued, not wanting excuses. “What about you? You’re definitely not a freshman.”
“Nah. I’m a junior. I studied abroad for a semester last year and there were mishaps my freshman year, so I’ve got a few classes to make up. My friend had this class last year, so I just took all his notes. Coulson never changes his lectures. Pretty sure he doesn’t even change the tests.” You hummed, pretending you were barely listening when you really heard every word loud and clear. Bucky huffed, reaching out to grab your wrist gently, making you stop typing and look up to meet his eyes. “Can we start over? Please. I don’t know what type of guys you used to know or whatever and, yeah, I’ll admit I started the conversation like an idiot, but I promise I’m not that bad.”
Pursing your lips, you scanned his features, taking in the pleading eyes and the pouty lips. Clearing your throat, you took your hands off the keyboard, straightened a bit, and turned to him, holding out your hand, your full name falling from your lips.
The beam he gave you had you severely doubting your initial thoughts about him, his larger, calloused hand taking your eagerly. “James Barnes. Everyone calls me Bucky.”
You nodded, before starting to type again. “What are you studying?”
“Mechanical engineering.”
You paused, not expecting that answer. Maybe you were wrong - majorly wrong. “Really?”
“Yeah. I dunno. Technology’s always interested me and I like fixing cars and stuff; I work at an auto shop actually. I dunno what I’m gonna do with it yet, but it feels like a step in the right direction, ya know?”
“I’m afraid not.” You shook your head. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
He chuckled, drumming his fingers against the table. “That’s alright, doll. I don’t think anyone does. They just think they do.”
“That’s…very true, actually.”
He grinned, running a hand through his hair again, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “I told you: I’m not an idiot all the time. I swear.” That made you laugh.
Bucky talked to you throughout the rest of the class, never going above a whisper as he babbled about his other classes and how one of his friends, Sam, tripped down the stairs that morning. You were almost annoyed at him, but he was a very good conversationalist and he wasn’t distracting you too badly. There weren’t any awkward pauses while he stumbled around for something to talk about and if he wasn’t talking, it was a comfortable silence filled with Coulson’s voice, pen scribbling on paper, and the clicking of computer keys. He never pushed you for responses, either, only asking a couple questions, like where you worked and what other classes you had.
“Sorry if I’m bothering you.” He said a few minutes before class was over. “I’m just bored.”
“No. You’re fine.” Honestly, besides a few flirty comments and that pet name ‘doll’ popping up here and there, he wasn’t as bad as you were thinking.
He went quiet for a moment before clearing his throat, almost nervously. Your forehead creased as you snuck a glance at him. He licked his lips, a hand combing through his locks, scratching the back of his head. You wondered why he did that so often.
“So, uh, there’s this cabin in the woods by the lake about half an hour away…” His eyes widened at the weird look you shot him. “Oh fuck, that sounds so bad. No, no. It’s not - I’m not a serial killer or anything. My friend owns it. Well, technically his dad does, but it’s his. Anyways, he always throws a party the first weekend of a new semester. On Saturday. Noon to midnight. If you’d wanna come.”
You quirked an eyebrow, packing up your stuff as Coulson dismissed class early. “You’re asking me to go to your friend’s cabin in the woods-?”
He shook his head with a little laugh. “It sounds so sketchy. I promise it’s legit, though. Honest. You can ask anyone. It’s Tony Stark’s party. He holds one every-”
“You’re friends with Tony Stark?”
He nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Yeah. We’re in the same circle. I know how it sounds, but-”
“I’m working.” You cut him off, finding it amusing how he rambled. Who knew a fuckboy could get so nervous about asking a girl to a party. “But if you give me the address I’ll see if I can get some time off.”
“That’d be awesome. Yeah, yeah. Here.” He quickly grabbed the post-it note you handed to him and scribbled the address down. “It’d be really cool if you could make it.”
“I’ll try. Cross my heart.” You smiled, taking the paper from him. “I do have to go, though-”
“Oh right. Yeah. Work. I’ll see you this weekend, then. Maybe.” He grinned.
You bit your lip, nodding. “Maybe.”
As he started walking out, you looked down to grab your bag, the pen left on the table catching your attention. “Hey!” You called after him, making him turn around, walking backwards with that grin still on his lips. You lifted the writing utensil to show him. “Your pen!”
He shook his head. “Keep it! I don’t take notes in this class anyways!” He shot you a wink, before spinning on his heel, his hands in his pockets, whistling some random tune, without a care in the world. 
**********************
“There she is! So?! How’s school been?! I wanna know!”
You grinned at Whitney as she bounced in, looking at you excitedly while going to wash her hands. “You’re working early today. It’s only 3.”
She shrugged. “They wanted me in before dinner rush tonight. Don’t dodge the question!”
“It’s been fine. I’ve met a couple people, doodled a few things, ignored syllabus talk - the usual.”
She sniggered, moving her eyebrows. “Any cute guys so far?” You thought back to your History lecture and Bucky, who confused the hell out of you. Whitney’s squeal pulled you out of your thoughts. “That’s a yes! Tell me about him immediately!” 
“It’s not a ‘yes’. There’s nothing to tell.”
“But he is hot, right?”
You rolled your eyes, but your lips pulled up at the corners. “He’s…very easy on the eyes.”
Whitney gave an excited squeak, quickly drying her hands and putting on gloves before sliding up to you. “So? Tell me all about him.”
“Nothing to tell.”
“Bull.” She called out. “What’s his name?”
You huffed, focusing on the pizza you were making. “Bucky.”
She tried it out on her tongue before nodding. “Cute, cute. How old is he?”
“He’s a junior, so I’m guessing 20. Maybe 21 if his birthday was in the past week.”
Whitney hounded on you for every detail of your conversation, which you told her with some exception, leaving out the pen and some of the random stuff he told you. “So he’s a fuckboy?”
“Oh yeah. No doubt.”
“But he’s a charming fuckboy?”
“Mhmm.”
“And he’s not a dick?”
“So far.”
“So…he’s your type.”
You scoffed, giving her a look. “I don’t have a ‘type’.”
She gave you a bemused expression back. “Honey, it’s not a secret you like the charismatic guys that every girl swoons over. You just don’t swoon over them and that’s what makes you different.”
You scowled. “I don’t swoon over them because they don’t deserve my effort. And no. I don’t have a thing for them. I just…tend to get their attention more than other guys.”
“Because you don’t swoon over them.”
“Whitney-”
“Okay, okay. What happened next?”
You shrugged. “Nothing. He just sorta…talked the entire class. He did invite me to a party on Saturday though-”
“Oh my God! You have to go! College parties are the best! You’ll have so much fun!” She stopped to give you a serious look, pointing a finger towards you. “You’re going, right?”
“I dunno. Maybe. I’ve got to ask Phillips if I can get time off and I-I dunno if I even want to go.”
Whitney groaned, throwing her hands in the air and letting her head fall back. “This is the first party of your college life! There shouldn’t be any doubt!”
“Apparently Tony Stark is the one throwing it-”
“Are you fucking - you can’t not go!”
You snickered, Whitney’s persistence amusing you. “Again. It depends on Phillips. We’ll see. I promise.”
“At least tell me you got this guy’s number.”
“Nope.”
Whitney glared at you. “You are the absolute worst person to try getting drama out of, you know that? You’re not interested at all in this guy?”
You shrugged, turning to throw the pizza in. “Maybe. I wanna try out this whole friend thing first. Tommy’s the first real guy friend I’ve had since middle school and that’s mostly because he’s gay and we barely even talk outside work. I’ve never just…let myself take a break from dating before.”
A sigh came from the other girl, who reluctantly nodded. “That’s good, actually. Take a mental break. I respect that. But please, for the love of God, please try to have fun.”
You smirked, nodding. “I’ve told you, Whit. I know how to have fun. Don’t worry; if I do go to that party, I’ll have enough for both of us.”
“Yes! I have to live college through you now, so it’s your responsibility!”
You mockingly saluted. “I won’t let you down, babe.”
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tinyboxxtink · 3 years
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Build Me Up Buttercup *Part 5*
WARNING: This chapter contains mention of sexual assault, please read at your own discretion. Also, I’m sorry these last two chapters have been kind of dark but next chapter will be super fluff I promise!
If you need to catch up:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 6
Tag List: @wanniiieeee
....And you just ran out?”
Your roommate’s judgement came through loud and clear, even through the phone.
“Yes! What the hell was I supposed to do?!” You tried defending your actions. You called them to feel better, not worse.
“Well, first of all you shouldn’t have LIED,” They kept their snarky tone.
“I didn’t LIE….per say,” You paced back and forth, twirling your hair in your fingers nervously. The silence after your statement was like you could SEE their faces just giving you “that” look.
“Oh okay what was I supposed to say? ‘Oh hey yeah you’re right Fin, I was an absolute party wreck until I couldn’t be anymore’?”
“I mean I don’t--” You heard footsteps coming up behind you, so you swung your phone to your side, cutting off their sentence.
You turned to see Rafael standing there, that permanent concerned look for you pasted on his face.
“Hey...are you ok?”
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I just needed some air,” You tried your best to stay calm and nonchalant.
“Are you sure? Because you--” He started to say something but you quickly interjected.
“Actually you know what Barba I’m kind of on the phone right now, can I meet you back inside?” You motioned with your phone, kicking yourself for being cold to him right now but you couldn’t deal with anything else at the moment.
“I...uh...yeah, sure,” He shook his head with an awkward smile, and walked back inside. Relieved, you put the phone back up to your ear.
“Aww, how cute. Barba cares!” your BFF’s voice cooed through the speaker.
“Yeah, in like a ‘dad caring’ kind of way,” you rolled your eyes.
“Oooof, I wouldn’t start throwing that term around, we might have to start talking about ‘daddy issues’, Y/N,” they giggled.
“SERIOUSLY?” You practically screeched into the phone, thanking every god you could think of that Rafael had gone inside before that comment.
“I’m just sayin! I’m ALSO saying that you need to go back in there and tell your squad the truth,” they returned to a very serious tone.
“Yeah I guess…” You sighed, knowing they were right.
“And I’m sorry I can’t be there with you holding your hand while you do it babe. But…”
“But what?”
“But maybe Rafael can?”
“Jesus, can you please be serious right now?”
“I am being serious! You just told me he helped you calm down earlier, and that wasn’t even half traumatic as this is gonna be,” They insisted.
“I don’t….how…?” Your face scrunched up trying to think of NON creepy ways you'd ask for someone's hand.
“Whatever, do what you want; But I do suggest telling them. Clearly you're not going to be able to keep this under wraps, and I doubt you want to keep freaking out on your co-workers. Trust them, trust RAFAEL,”
You sighed again, you knew they were right. Olivia said it herself, it was important to have a squad you trusted.
“Alright I’ll call you later,”
“You better!”
You took a deep breath and walked back into the bar, your hands shaking as you reached your booth. The group all started to speak, but you put your hand up.
“No just-- Let me talk. Fin, I am so sorry,” You addressed Fin, who shook his head in a “don't worry about it” manner.
“No, I really am. I’m sorry I freaked out on you and I’m sorry...I lied. Kind of,” the squad again looked at you in total confusion.
“God….okay, how do I….? Um….”
You started trying to form sentences in your head, words jumbled around in your brain. You started to panic again, when you felt a hand grip yours under the table. You snapped your eyes open and looked next to you where Rafael had taken your hand. He gave a small, supportive smile making you suddenly feel at ease.
“Okay. So, like I said I was pretty much a ‘caged’ child. I was homeschooled, I didn’t have any friends, just academics. Being born a ‘prodigy’ sounds good on paper, but I just always felt like a show pony. Or an alien experiment. People were always coming by to check out the ‘genius 5 year old’ play Mozart, or ‘the brilliant 10 year old finish calculus problems in under 30 seconds’.”
You took a deep breath, watching their listening faces. Too much detail hon, get there faster.
“Um, anyway. I graduated ‘high school’ at fifteen years old. I had barely made it through puberty, and I was already done with my academic childhood. Obviously, I wanted to immediately enroll in college, if for no other reason than to get away from my insanely controlling parents. But big surprise, they had a problem with it. It took me a minute to convince them that it was the right next step, full ride scholarships to literally any school in the country helped. And I mean, ANY school. All the Ivy leagues sent out their top recruiters to speak with my parents about having the ‘prodigy’ attending their establishment.
So with that, I was able to convince my parents that I knew what was best for me. I told them I was smarter than them, so clearly I could parent myself better. And God help them, they believed me,” You had to pause again, tears catching your throat. Rafael gently started rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb.
“So, I started at NYU that fall, just after my sixteenth birthday. Sixteen years old, the only child in a university full of adults,”
“I don’t like where this is going,” Sonny whispered to Amanda who nodded in agreement.
“So I got paired with this room mate Layla, who was the polar opposite of myself. She was gorgeous, totally socially gifted, but dumb as a rock. Her daddy had paid her way into the school,” you rolled your eyes just thinking about her.
“And truth be told I loved her at first, because she was the sweetest girl. My first ever real friend. She took me under her wing and gave me a complete makeover; socially and physically. I had NEVER had guys look at me the way they did after she helped me. It was....intoxicating.” You paused in shame, picking at your jacket.
“So, naturally, I wanted to hang out with my friend. My ONLY friend. And hanging out with her meant going to all the coolest parties, frats and sororities. I was SIXTEEN, I didn’t….I didn’t think,”  You bit your lip and stared at the floor for a moment before continuing.
“I lost my virginity at those parties,” you muttered quietly, and to your surprise the team started reacting.
“Wha-- Wait wait wait, guys that’s….that’s not even the bad part yet,” you gulped. Jesus the judgement was quickly getting real.
“Anyway I...was pretty much a huge party girl slut,” you shrugged. “I’d go and party, and hook up with random guys, and never thought twice about it because I thought ‘that’s what college girls do’,” You scoffed at your younger self for even having that notion. How could you be that smart and that stupid at the same time? It was baffling.
“And one night, it bit me in the ass,” You sighed, here comes the hard part.
“I don’t...I usually got so wasted that I didn’t CARE who I was having sex with and most of the time never remembered WHO it was anyway but-- but I’m pretty sure that night I didn’t want to,” You breathed out and looked up, willing the tears on the rims of your eyes to go back in where they came from. Rafael’s hand gripped yours tighter, making you feel safe.
“But it is what it is, this guy did what he did and left me on the floor in a frat house,” You scoffed again, this time tears dripping down your face. You couldn’t believe there was a time that you had been that pathetic, to just be left laying on the floor like a blow up doll.
“I guess Layla found me and took me home, because I woke up in my own bed. But I had bruises and hickeys ALL over my body, and just….brutal stuff,” You trailed off while you picked at your food, not wanting to go into any more detail.
Suddenly, as if turning on a light switch, your entire demeanor snapped back into ‘normal mode’, you wiped the stray tears away and cleared your throat. You were
“AHEM So...anyway, after….that, I told Layla that I couldn’t hang out with her anymore if that’s all we were going to do, and she understood. She didn’t like it, but she understood. The next semester I got a new roommate who was pretty much like myself, boring and socially inept, so I went back to the thing I knew best-- academics. I changed my major from biochemical engineering to law, because I didn’t want anyone else to go through what I went through without a voice. And after that, and a WHOLE lotta therapy, I just pushed that whole semester I lost deep, DEEP down, you know like a totally healthy person,” You tried playing it off with a laugh, but they weren’t amused.
“But...just thinking about Mary Fahey,” you sighed. “That girl had everything going for her, she was probably really smart and had a whole life ahead of her. She made the bad decision ONCE, to go to a frat party and she’s DEAD. Meanwhile, I was a stupid slut for a whole semester and the worst I got was bruised up and a pregnancy scare.”
“Please don’t tell me you’re saying what I think you’re saying,” Amanda gave you a look.
“What? That I should have been killed? Well why not? Why HER?” You protested, sipping your hurricane. It was unsettling to the squad how little you seemed to care about yourself.
“....I knew there was more to it in the bathroom,” you heard Rafael’s soft voice beside you.
“I’m sorry...I didn’t know how to tell you,” You looked at him with apologetic eyes. “I didn’t want you to think I was...trashy,”
“Ok now hold up” Fin interrupted.
“First of all, you need to stop throwing words like ‘slut’ and ‘trash’ around, especially about yourself, Y/N,” he took your hand.
“You said it yourself, people make mistakes. Hell if I worried about the amount of dumb shit I did when I was a kid I wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning,”
You had to break into a small sad smile after he said that, nodding your head in an understanding manner.
“And whether or not it was a one time thing or a ‘phase’, no one ever deserves to be assaulted for overdoing it at a party, or anywhere else,” Olivia chimed in. “EVER.”
“Exactly what the Sarge said. Assault is NEVER ok, in ANY circumstance. Even when you think you were ‘slutty’ by sleeping around, those guys are accountable too.” Sonny added. “Taking advantage of an inebriated woman is not okay,”
“AND it was statutory!” Rafael finally spoke up, his fists clenched. It was as if it had taken this entire time for him to fully process your story, and now that he did he was PISSED.
“Okay, Rafa, calm down,” Olivia placed a hand over his.
“No Liv, these guys should all be in prison for having sex with an incapacitated SIXTEEN YEAR OLD”
“Will you knock it off, counselor?” You hit his arm. “I didn’t tell you that story so you would go after a bunch of random idiots for something that happened over 10 years ago!”
“Well they should pay!” Rafael yelled again, but after you softly stroked his shoulder, he seemed to calm down.
“I appreciate the sentiment, Rafa,” you warily threw out the pet name, happy when he responded with a small smile. “But I’m over it. Mostly. On days that aren’t like this,” you added with a joking laugh, trying to ease the tension.
“Well, I really appreciate you telling us the truth, N/A,” Olivia nodded at you, the others followed suit. 
You gave the first genuine smile since you came back in, looking at Rafael. He took your hand once again under the table, giving it three small squeezes. Before you knew what you were doing, your head was dropping onto his shoulder and you were scooting closer into him.
“Get a squad you can trust, right?”
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Playin' With Fire: The Morning After
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Summary: Santiago and Dani deal with the fallout of their actions the night before. Dani starts preparations to leave for South America with Santiago. We get to dive more into Dani and Santi’s relationship, and Santi learns something about Dani’s past.
Warnings: 18+, Implications of smut, suggestive language, explicit language, ANGST, mentions of a car wreck and death (no descriptions), Dani does experience some anxiety and self-consciousness.
Word Count: 5,851
A/N: This whole series is a wild ride of emotions, and as I proof-read for posting, I find myself wanting to go in a whole different direction than originally planned. After this part, we start getting into the events of the movie, which is separated into three chapters. There are cameos in this chapter from another favorite show of mine. I know it’s unlikely that these characters would ever meet, but fuck it, it’s fan-fiction.
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Dani’s alarm went off at 5:00am. Groaning, she reached over to press snooze. The light of her phone made her squint. She twisted the switch on the bedside table lamp, emitting a small glow across her room. “Shit,” She cursed, her body deliciously sore from the events of the night before.
She was never good at dealing with “the morning after’. She almost hoped that Santiago had snuck out while she was sleeping, but the warmth of the space beside her told her he was still there. What did I do? She thought. Guilt washed over her as she rolled over to face the man in her bed. She studied the features of his face, memories of the night before flooded her mind. Just the thoughts made heat pool in the pit of her stomach.
“Staring is rude, sweetheart.” Santiago’s words startled her, making her gasp. “Sorry, Teq.” He chuckled, his eyes still closed. How did he even know? Right, trained soldier.
“You’re still here?” She asked him, surprise thick in her voice. His eyes snapped open to look at her.
“Why wouldn’t I be? You know you were more than a one night stand.” He explained, bringing a hand up to brush a stray strand of hair out of her face. “In fact, I really wouldn’t mind if last night happened again.” He suggested with a smirk.
Dani was speechless, staring at his sexy, sleepy, face. “I, uh, um, I have to shower. My shift starts at seven.” She stuttered over her words, trying not to let him see the effect he was having on her. She moved to get up, only stopping because she remembered she was naked. “Could you, um, not look when I get up?” She blushed nervously, pulling the sheet tighter around her.
“Really Teq? Yeah, I won’t look.” He promised, then added, “Even though I already know you have a little birthmark that looks like a heart on your ass.” he teased her, and she smacked him with a pillow. Santiago shut his eyes and squeezed them tight.
Once she was sure he wasn’t peaking, she rushed up and over to the chair in the corner of her room, wrapping herself in her fuzzy robe. “Okay, you can open them.”
He slowly opened his eyes, taking in the sight of her. Her dirty blonde hair was a mess of loose curls. If this was how she looked every morning, he wouldn’t mind waking up with her. He knew he should feel bad. If, when Frankie finds out that he slept with her, that he is taking her to South America, he’s gonna be pissed. It might just ruin their friendship, but in this moment, looking at Dani, he didn’t care.
Dani felt self-conscious under Santiago’s gaze. She pulled the robe tighter around her body, trying to cover herself more. He noticed immediately, and all but jumped off the bed toward her. “Dani, you are absolutely beautiful. You don’t have to hide from me.” He complimented her and he meant every word. He embraced her face with his hands, his thumbs, lovingly brushing over her cheeks. Slowly, Santiago lowered his lips to hers. Gently, he coaxed her lips apart with his own, taking the opportunity to slip his tongue past them.
The kiss wasn’t hurried like the previous night. He took his time, tracing the contour of her mouth, memorizing the feeling of her lips on his. The kiss gradually grew more fervent, needy. It was almost as if they separated, they would fall to pieces. Santiago released her face, moving his hands to the tie of her robe. Dani groaned as she pulled away, his hands falling to her hips, to keep her close. “I have to shower.” She said, reminding herself more than Santiago.
“I’ll join you.” He countered, fiddling with the tie again. She shook her head.
“Santi, I have to go to work. And you do, too.” She pointed out, grabbing his hands away. Their fingers laced together as he moved to place methodical kisses to her neck.
She whimpered as he nibbled her ear and he whispered, “I’ll make it quick. Let me make you feel good, querida.” How could she say no to that?
Forty-five minutes later, they exited Dani’s room and walked into the kitchen. Benny was already up, pouring a cup of coffee. “Morning,” He greeted them with a raised brow.
“Morning, Benny!” Santi beamed with a huge smile, all but telling Benny what had transpired between them. Benny tossed a knowing look at Dani.
“Don’t say anything, Benjamin.” Dani warned him with a pointed finger, “I have fifteen minutes to get to work.” She added, as she poured the liquid energy into her travel cup. Santiago handed her the creamer with a wink.
“Oh, Danika Kate, we are so talking about this later.” Benny teased, as she flew by him, grabbing her bag and keys. Santi threw Benny a ‘bye’ over his shoulder as he quickly followed behind her.
He walked her to her white Camry, opening the door for her to slide in. She started the car, rolling down the window, and closed the door.
“Can I at least get a goodbye kiss?” He pouted. All Dani could think about was biting that bottom lip. She acquiesced to his request, nodded her head ‘yes’.
He leaned into the window, giving her a sweet peck. Dani felt her stomach flutter. She knew she was in trouble. “I’ll call you later. Maybe we can grab a late dinner and talk about Colombia, yeah?” He hoped, not really wanting her to leave.
“Yeah, I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.” She smiled, taking a quick glance at her watch. “Shit, I really have to go.” Santiago gave her one more quick kiss before telling her bye, and she drove away. The two of them were too caught up in each other to see Frankie’s truck stopped in the road, where he saw everything.
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Dani had gotten to the hospital right on time. She barely made it through the ER doors before she was being called, “Dr. Reid.” She spotted the head nurse waving her over to the nurse’s station.
“Hey, Rebecca. How was your night?” Dani asked with a smile, sitting her stethoscope down on the counter to toss her messy hair into a bun, and then threw it back around her neck.
“It was hectic. We got slammed with a four car pile up after you left.” Rebecca sighed, handing her a tablet. “Bed four is ready to be seen. He came in with a complaint of ‘his worst headache ever’. BP is 185/100 with a long history of hypertension.” She presented to Dani as she looked over his chart.
Dani thanked her and moved toward the occupied bed. “Mr. Turner, this is your third time here this month. I thought we talked about this?” Dani chided, checking over his vital signs machine.
Mr. Turner shifted in the bed, “I know, Dr. Reid, but those meds made me feel so bad. I can’t take ‘em. Can’t you just give me something for the headache?” The patient requested.
Dani shook her head. “What good will it do you if we don’t treat the cause? Mr. Turner, your blood pressure is severely uncontrolled.” Dani paused, pinching the bridge of her nose, “If you don’t get this under control, you can die or have a stroke.” She explained to him, but could tell she was getting nowhere.
She pulled the rolling stool over to his bedside, taking a seat. “Here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna treat your blood pressure first. Once we get that down, if the headache doesn’t go away, I’ll treat it. Deal?” She bargained with him. Mr. Turner grumbled an ‘okay’ knowing he wasn’t going to win. “Perfect. Rebecca or Nicole will be back with your medicine.” She patted him on the shoulder, flashing him a sweet smile.
Walking back over to the nurse’s station, she gave Nicole the medication orders. Dani made sure to tell Nicole to get her if the patient gave her any trouble. Dani liked working mornings in the ER. Usually, it was pretty slow.
She sat behind her computer, working on chart notes, when she heard a commotion in the ER lobby. “I’m looking for Dr. Reid. I’m her so-called best friend.” She knew that voice. Dani rose from her seat so fast she knocked it to the ground as she ran out of her office. She rushed around the corner to see Frankie being held by two security guards. “Fuck,” She mumbled, stomping toward him.
“Tequila!” Frankie boomed, trying to move past the guards. “Come on, Teq. Tell ‘em to let me go.” He told her as they continued their hold.
She shook her head, “Frankie, stop. Let’s go talk somewhere that isn’t in the middle of my ER” She looked around at the growing crowd as she grabbed his hand and pulled him toward her office. She closed the door behind them. Dani walked around her wooden desk, picking up the knocked over computer chair. “What the hell are you doing, Frankie?” She questioned him, taking a seat.
Frankie scoffed, “I could ask you the same damn thing.” Frankie sat in one of the other chairs, crossing his arms.
“I’m trying to fucking work, Fish.” She hissed at him. His nostrils flared, a quick sign that he was mad.
“I saw you and Pope.” He confessed, and Dani’s heart dropped. Thoughts raced through her mind. She wasn’t sure how to explain it. Then again, after everything Frankie has done in the last twenty-four hours, did she care?
“That’s none of your business.” She replied calmly, sitting forward in her seat. “You have no right to be upset.”
Frankie rolled his eyes, “You fucked my best friend, I think I do.” The words flew from his mouth before he could stop them. Dani’s eyes widened and she stood up.
“Get out. This conversation is over.” She demanded, pointing toward the door. Frankie didn’t move. “Get the fuck out, Morales, before I call security.” Frankie conceded, standing up, opening the door, and walked out.
Once she was sure he was gone, she let out a shaky breath, falling back into her seat. She cradled her head, thinking about how everything had gotten so messed up. Frankie had no right to be mad at her, right?
A knock at the door drew her out of her thoughts, and she lifted her head. “Shit, you okay Reid?” The doctor in the doorway asked.
She wiped the stray tears that had fallen and sniffled, “Yeah, I’m good, Karev. Have you seen the Chief? I need to talk to her.”
Dr. Karev studied her face for a second before answering, “Last I saw her, she was in her office. Are you sure you’re good?” He asked again, concerned. She nodded, and he went on his way.
Dani left her office, walking toward the Chief of Surgery’s. She stopped outside of the door, the sign read ‘Dr. Meredith Grey, Chief of Surgery.’ She took a deep breath to center herself before knocking on the door. A muffled ‘come in’ filtered through the wood. She opened the door and stepped inside. “Ah, Dr. Reid, just who I needed to see.” Dr. Grey welcomed, gesturing for her to have a seat, which she quickly took. This wasn’t good.
“I heard there was an incident in the ER lobby this morning. What happened?” She questioned her. Dani gulped, unsure of how to answer.
“I’m so sorry, Mere. It was my friend, Frankie.” Dani sighed. She wasn’t going to need to put in a leave, because she was going to get fired.
“Frankie, like the best friend with the coke addiction, Frankie? Why would he be screaming in the lobby?” Meredith wanted to know. Dani had talked to her some about what he had been going through, trying to get advice on how to help him.
“It’s a really long story. The short version is: He did something stupid, really stupid. And then I did something that may or may not have as equally stupid. He found out, and threw a tantrum about it.” Dani explained, realizing that maybe that wasn’t the short version. Meredith cocked an eyebrow at her, shaking her head.
“I swear, you residents are going to be the death of me. Keep your drama at home, Reid.” Meredith groused and rubbed her temples. Dani didn’t want to mention South America now, but she had to; A month would go by faster than she could blink.
“Um, there was actually something I needed to talk to you about. A friend of mine got me connected with a hospital in Colombia, South America. They offered me a position, and I really wanna take it.” Nervousness was radiating off of Dani as she finally spoke these words out loud. Meredith was the first person she had told that she was going. If she couldn’t tell her, how was she going to tell Benny and Will? How was she going to tell Frankie?
“That’s, that’s great, Dani. You should go. I will work on getting the paperwork you will need. And you will always have a spot here at Memorial.” Meredith promised her. Those words lifted a weight off of her. She quickly thanked her, and got up to leave. “Hey, why don’t you take the day off? You’ve been working a lot lately. You can’t save lives if you’re tired.” Meredith added.
“Thank you, Chief.” Dani said sincerely
before walking back to her office to gather her things. She quickly typed a text to Santiago. Hey, Grey is letting me off for the day. We need to talk, Frankie showed up at the hospital. She pressed send and exhaled sharply.
Santiago responded when she was getting into her car. Fuck, is everything okay? Do I need to come to you?
No. Just meet me at the house.
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Santiago was sure he broke a hundred laws getting to the Miller house. He didn’t know what Frankie had done, but if Dani had left early from work, it couldn’t be good. She was already home when he pulled into the driveway. He was inside the house and in her room before he recognized he even got out of his truck. “Teq?” She was sitting on her bed, staring at the doorway.
“Frankie knows, Santi.” Was all she responded. Santiago cursed under his breath, moving to take a seat next to her. “He showed up at the hospital, caused a scene.” Dani continued to tell him everything.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Santiago groaned. This wasn’t how he wanted Frankie to find out. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be. He turned to look at her. Her face was void of any emotion. “Are you okay?” He asked. She nodded and it wasn’t entirely a lie.
The events of the day showed her that she needed to go. That she wasn’t doing anyone any good here. She knew that if she stayed, she’d destroy herself trying to save Frankie. It wasn’t her responsibility to save someone who didn’t want to save themselves. It would break her heart, but broken hearts are easier healed than broken spirits.
“So, you’re really going with me?” Santiago’s cedar eyes bright with happiness as the words rolled off his tongue. He slung an arm around her shoulder. Pulling her into him, so she could rest her head against him.
“I’m going, Pope.” She sighed, content with her decision. “Meredith is already working on my travel papers. I”m gonna finish my shifts for the next two weeks, that way I’ll have plenty of time to pack.”
“Pack?” Will’s voice made their heads whip toward the door. “What do you mean ‘pack’?” Will asked again, widening his stance, arms crossing over his chest.
“We’re going to have to tell’em eventually, Cariño.” Santiago said, placing a kiss to her head.
Dani sat there staring at Will. He had been her rock for years. The entire Miller family had taken her in after the accident. When Will joined the army, it was her he wrote letters to. When Benny joined, it was the same way. The two men quickly took over the role of ‘older brother’ teaching her how to defend herself; Their father taught her basic car maintenance; Their mother taught her to cook.
“Okay. Someone tell me what the fuck is going on.” Will cured, “When did this happen?” He gestured between Dani and Santiago.
“You have missed a lot in the last twenty-four hours, hermano.” Santiago told him as he removed his arm from around her. Dani shifted, creating some space between her and the man beside her. Will moved further into the room, taking a seat in her corner chair.
Dani fiddled with her fingers, not even sure where to begin. Santiago noticed her nerves, offering her his hand for comfort. She accepted, lacing her fingers with his. The warmth from him flowed through her, causing her to shiver. Feeling like she could face anything holding Santiago’s hand, she took a deep breath before telling Will what happened with Frankie. By the end of the story, Will’s face had his emotions written all over it.
He was pissed. How could Frankie do that to her? How could she run away with Pope? “So, you’re just gonna leave?” He asked, voice low and gravely. “You think that’s the answer?”
She shook her head, “No, I don’t. But I’m not thinking about me. I’m thinking about the good I can do there. I’m thinking about the people I can save.” Dani put emphasis on ‘can’ to try and get her point across.
Will nodded, understanding where she was coming from. They had a similar conversation when he left for the army. “If this is truly what you want, then I support you, one hundred percent.” Will gave her his blessing. Dani launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his middle.
“Thank you, Will.” She chirped as he squeezed her tightly. She released him, straightening herself up.
“Don’t thank me yet, sweetheart. You still have to tell Benny.” Dani’s eyes widened. Benny was going to be crushed.
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After the conversation, Will had left Dani and Santiago, but not before threatening that he’d hunt Santi down if Dani didn’t make it back. Santiago promised he’d protect her as if his life depended on it, which it did.
Not long after, Santiago left. His lunch break was long over and his boss was blowing up his phone. Dani used the time to herself to sit and think about everything. The more she thought about it, the more she knew she was making the right choice. She contemplated on how she was going to tell Benny. She decided to make his favorite dinner; His mom’s famous chicken pot pie. Thankfully, she had everything she needed.
Benny entered the house right as Dani pulled the meal out of the oven. “Holy shit. Tell me that’s what I think it is.” Benny grinned as he dropped his keys to the counter.
“Yep! Momma Miller’s chicken pot pie!” Dani answered him, putting the piping hot dish on the counter. “Why don’t you go clean up while it cools?”
Benny walked around the island to hug her. “You’re the best, Tequila. What did I do to deserve a best friend like you?” He questioned out loud before walking back through the house. Dani’s stomach dropped. She wasn’t ready for this.
Benny came back into the kitchen about fifteen minutes later. Dani had the table set for just the two of them. “What about Will?” Benny asked at the sight of the two plates.
“Date. Probably won’t be back tonight.” Dani replied, grabbing a beer out of the fridge. She handed it to the blonde man in front of her, gesturing for him to sit.
“Alright. What’s up, Teq? I know you well enough to know when something’s wrong.” Benny called her out. The two of them have never had secrets. Will always joked that they were more like siblings than he and Benny were.
Dani told Benny all about Frankie while they ate. She explained everything that happened between her and Santiago. “Santi, he, uh. He’s asked me to go to South America with him. And I said yes.” She whispered, and Benny almost choked.
“You can’t go to South America.” Benny said in between coughs. He cleared his throat. “Teq, you can’t go. I feel like I just got you back.”
Tears welled in her eyes, “Oh, Ben. You never lost me. You are always going to be the pain in the ass brother I always wanted.” She reached across the table to him. “I’ll text and call whenever I can. I'm not gonna be gone forever.” She promised him.
Benny stood up, his chair scraping against the tile. He pulled Dani to her feet, embracing her in his arms. The hug told Dani everything she needed to know. He was silently giving her his approval. They sat back down and finished eating, Benny asking the occasional question about what she would be doing there. She honestly didn’t know, but she was excited to see where this path would take her. When they were done, Benny helped her clean up, loading the dishwasher while she put away the leftovers.
The two of them dropped to the couch, turning on a movie. Benny hit pause and turned to her. “I gotta know. Is the sex that good, that you’d follow him to another country?” He jested, his voice playful.
Dani rolled her eyes, “Wouldn’t you like to know. Looking for tips, Miller?” She chuckled, throwing him a wink. Benny huffed a laugh, sticking his tongue out at her before he un-paused the movie.
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Week by week, the days seemed to pass by a little faster. As their departure date grew closer, Dani grew more nervous. Not nervous, like she was regretting her decision, but nervous like she couldn’t wait to see what the future held for her.
Although they completely supported their friend, Will and Benny tried to get her to stay. They hated that she was leaving. They even tried to get their mom to convince her to stay. Boy, did that backfire. Momma Miller was nothing but excited for her, telling Dani to take complete advantage of the wondrous opportunity.
Dani laid in her bed, sparing a glance at her phone. 6:30am. Santiago would be there soon, coming to take her to get her stuff from the hospital. She finished her last shift days ago, but put off getting her things. A piece of her wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Carolina Memorial had been her home. She experienced all of her ‘real doctor’ firsts there.
Pulling herself together, she slithered out of bed. Throwing on her robe, she tip-toed to the kitchen trying not to wake Benny. She started a pot of coffee. As if on cue, Benny shuffled into the room as the liquid began to drip. His blonde hair a mess, sleep still heavy in his eyes. “Good morning, Benjamin.” She said sweetly. He grumbled a response that she only assumed meant ‘Good morning’. Dani never understood why Benny still got up so early, even though he was not a morning person.
Luckily for Benny, Dani knew just how to perk him up. “Coffee, black, no sugar.” She said as she handed him a cup. Benny hummed in appreciation, taking the drink. Dani poured her own coffee, gazing out the kitchen window.
In true North Carolina fashion, the weather changed almost instantly. The day before had been beautiful, but today rain moved in, fog blocking out the sunshine. Dani hated days like this. Benny, who had drained his coffee, noticed Dani staring out the Window. He knew what was going through her head; He was the one who picked her up after.
“Hey.” Benny called out to her, and she turned to look at him. He didn’t need to say anything else, he just opened his arms.
“I’m gonna miss you, Benny-boy.” She spoke into his chest, and Benny chuckled at the nickname. He hadn’t been called that in years. Benny squeezed her tighter, only pulling away when loud bangs resounded through the house.
“Must be Pope.” Dani shrugged, pouring Benny another cup of coffee. Benny took it, going to open the door for him.
“Reid, I know you’re up. ¡Vamos!” Santiago yelled through the wood.
He jumped when the door swung open to reveal a very annoyed looking Benny. “What the fuck, man?” He groaned, taking a swig of his coffee.
Santiago smiled, “Sorry, Benny. I’m here to take Tequila to get her shit from the hospital.” He apologized. Benny mumbled something under his breath, moving to the side to let his friend in.
“She’s in the kitchen.” Benny said, gesturing toward it. Santiago slapped his shoulder as he passed by him, hastily making his way to her.
Santiago knew something was wrong when Dani hesitantly climbed into the cab of his red Ford. He recognized the look on her face, the anxiety. He’d worn that look many times. He didn’t press for information though. He just gave her hand a squeeze, reminding her that he was there.
As they drove along, something had dawned on Santiago. “So, we’ve known each other for what two years now?” Santiago asked Dani. She nodded in response, keeping her eyes on the road. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
She nodded again, “Santi, you’ve seen me naked. I think we are past ‘personal’.” She replied, fingers doing air quotes around personal.
Santiago bit his lip at the memory. It was only one night, but it was one of the best nights of his life. “You’ve met all of our families, right? Why haven’t we met yours?” He wondered, never recalling her even mentioning her family. Dani sucked in a breath at the question. She knew this day would come. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to tell him, it just wasn’t a pleasant memory.
“You guys are my family.” She whispered. “Well, the only family I have left. My parents died when I was seventeen, right before I was supposed to graduate. The Millers took me in, basically adopting me.” Dani paused, feeling Santi reach over to grab her hand. “I’m an only child, so Will and Benny are the big brothers I never had. No aunts, uncles, or cousins either.” She told him. The look on his face was the reason why she never told people, the look of pity.
“I’m sorry, Teq. How? If you-” He apologized, but she cut him off.
“It’s okay. They, uh, they wrecked their car. On a morning just like this. It was horrific. The hospital that they were transported to wasn’t a trauma center. They did their best to stabilize them for transfer, but it was too late.” She felt a tear drop as she sniffled.
Santiago wanted nothing more than to pull the truck over and take her in his arms. “I’m so sorry, Dani. Is that, is that why you became a trauma surgeon?” His words faltered, not wanting to push for too much information. She nodded; All she ever wanted was to do her best to prevent anyone from going through what she did.
The two gathered Dani’s belongings from her office rather quickly. Dani didn’t want to make a big deal about it. Meredith had stopped by, warning Santiago that he better take care of Dani or else and gave him the glare. Once they left, he told Dani that Meredith reminded him of Medusa, icy stare and all. She laughed so hard her stomach hurt, telling him that’s what the interns called her.
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Dani remembered the night she first met Santiago Garcia. She had just graduated med school, completed her internship and was looking for a hospital to complete her residency. She reached out to the Miller brothers, who she grew up with, and stayed very close to. They welcomed her into their North Carolina home with open arms.
It was her first week there and the boys mentioned that they were having a friend coming in for a visit. “Pope is a good guy, one of the best, but will flirt with anything that has a pussy.” Ben warned her. She laughed at her friend’s crudness.
“Benny, you know I can handle myself. There is a reason y’all call me Tequila.” She reminded him, and Benny just nodded. “Besides, that is the last thing I need. I have a residency to focus on.”
Friday quickly approached. Benny went to meet Santiago at the airport while Dani and Will stayed to prepare for his arrival. Dani was helping Will cook dinner, when he came in from the back yard. “So, uh, I burnt the steaks.” Will confessed, rubbing the back of his neck. Dani threw a kitchen towel at him.
“Will! I marinated those steaks all day! How did you burn them?” She asked him, laying her head on the counter. “What are we going to feed your friend now?” The words were mumbled into the granite, but Will still heard her. He walked around, rubbing her shoulders.
“Santi will be fine with burgers from Luanne’s. You don’t need to impress him.” Will assured her and she groaned, standing up straight.
“Yes, I do. Aside from me, he’s one of your oldest friends. I want to make a good impression.” Dani knew she sounded whiny, but she really did want to impress Santiago. Will just gave her a look. “Fine, I’ll go ahead and call in an order. You think Benny will want his usual?” She asked, reaching for her cell. Will nodded and asked for his usual too. Dani quickly ordered their dinner, telling Will it was on him because he fucked up the steaks. Will laughed, tossing her his card and keys.
“Go get our food, Tequila.” He said teasingly. She shot him a quick middle finger before grabbing her bag and walking out the door.
Luanne’s was packed that night, so Dani ended up waiting a lot longer than she thought she would. Will had sent her a text saying that Benny was back and Santiago was asking where the mysterious Tequila was. She replied promptly, letting him know that she was leaving the diner now and that Luanne threw in a few slices of her apple pie for the wait.
Dani pulled Will’s jeep into the driveway. She slid out of the driver’s side, walking around to get the bag of food. She walked into the house, yelling that she was back. It was like a stampede through the Miller household. Benny rounded the corner first, followed by Will. Santiago came around last, calling Benny a “fucking cheater”.
“Guys, slow down.” Dani chuckled, walking the rest of the way into the kitchen. “What are you cheating at now, Benjamin?”
“Fucker thought he could pull a quick one. That was my fucking mushroom and you know it, Benny.” Santi explained, flashing a bright smile in Dani’s direction. “So, Tequila, I presume?” He stretched out a hand, introducing himself.
“Nice to finally meet you, Santiago. I’ve heard so many things about you.” She replied, shaking his hand. She pulled her hand back, and Santi shamelessly let his eyes roam over her.
“All good things, I hope? And Please, you can call me Santi.” He flirted, tongue swiping out to wet his lips, before sucking his bottom one back between his teeth. Dani scoffed and shook her head.
“Well boys, you were right. He didn’t even last five minutes.” Dani snorted, handing out the to-go boxes.
“Let’s eat. Then I can go back to kicking your asses at MarioKart.” Benny joked, before ripping into the container and taking a bite of his burger. “God, I swear Luanne makes the best burgers.” He groaned. The four of them ate, chit-chatting comfortably. Dani was surprised at how easy she fell in with Santi. It was like they had known each other forever.
Dani smiled fondly at the memory. Her and Santi stayed in touch after that weekend. She never imagined she’d find herself here, moving to another country with the man.
Even now though, when Santi had taken up so much of her time, she found her thoughts drifting back to Frankie. She was leaving in less than 24 hours and she still hadn’t told him. Dani picked up her phone, thumb hovering over the call symbol in Frankie’s contact. Before she could talk herself out of it, she pressed it. The line rang once, before going straight to voicemail. You’ve reached Frankie Morales. Leave a message. “Fuck.” Dani sighed out, tossing the phone to the bed.
Maybe it's better this way, maybe I should just go. Dani knew it would be hard, not saying goodbye. So she wrote him a letter. A letter telling him she was leaving, that she was sorry, and she would see him again.
Dani and Santiago opted for a midnight flight; The airport was almost empty. "You can still stay, you know? I won't hold it against you." Santi whispered to her. He could see the hurt in her eyes. He knew leaving would be hard on her, especially after everything with Frankie.
"You're stuck with me, Pope. My name is already on the apartment lease." She smiled at him. She was more than ready to go. Ready to make peace with her past and embrace her future.
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Frankie woke up and started his normal morning routine. Vanessa was already in the kitchen making coffee. "Hey, this was stuck to the door." She told him, handing him an envelope. His name in her hand writing. He ripped it open, pulling the paper out. His eyes roamed the page, reading every word.
"No. No. No." Frankie mumbled, "fuck, I have to go." Frankie grabbed his keys and rushed over to her house.
He banged on the door, not relenting until Will opened it. "Tell me she isn't gone. Tell me Dani didn't leave." Frankie cried, still gripping the letter in his hand.
Will shook his head. " I'm sorry, Fish. They flew out last night."
Frankie's heart stalled in his chest. He dropped to the concrete of Will's porch. She was gone. He never got to apologize for anything. She was gone.
Catfish,
I hope this finds you well. I tried, Frankie. I tried to call. I tried to come see you. After everything that’s happened, I figured that this way was for the best. I’m leaving , Fish. I’m going to South America with Santi. By the time you get this, I’ll already be 35,000 feet in the air.
I’m sorry I couldn’t help you. I’m so fucking sorry. I wanted so bad to help you, to be what you needed, but I wasn’t. And that’s okay.
Frankie, when we meet again, I hope things are better. I hope you are better. I want nothing but happiness for you. You will always be my best friend.
Love always,
Tequila.
TAGS: @danniburgh @speakerforthedead0 @221bshrlocked
Translations:
Querida- dear, lover
Vamos- Let’s go
Hermano- Brother
46 notes · View notes
marrys-dream-world · 3 years
Text
lovers alone wear sunlight (chapter ten)
Chapter One  Chapter Two  Chapter Three  Chapter Four  Chapter Five  Chapter Six  Chapter Seven  Chapter Eight  Chapter Nine  
Read on AO3
Notes: Finally finished! Late, but here. Day 30: Speechless. @ladrienjune
Chat Noir arrived at the Agreste Manor in a daze, barely detransforming before he dropped on the bed. Plagg watched the frozen teen silently, but he reached the end of his patience at the fifteen minute mark. 
“So… when is dinner-”
“You knew!” Adrien shouted, coming out of his trance. “You knew this whole time!”
“Depends on what you mean by ‘this whole time’. Did I know the first time you got all romantic under the rain? ‘She’s just a friend, Plagg.’” His voice went high-pitched as he imitated Adrien and he paused to snort. “No, I didn’t. I found out during that owlman akuma thing. Ugh, I hate whip cream.”
“Since when?!” His voice now, curiously, matched Plagg’s Pretend-Adrien one. “How did you not tell me that when I was making a fool out of myself?!”
“Tikki said that if I told you, she would go back in time and erase the creation of cheese from existence. She’s the goddess of creation, she can and would do more for less.” He shuddered, eyes going glassy. “You have no idea what happened to the makkoinis.”
“The what?”
“Exactly.”
“Okay, that’s kinda terrifying but Plagg.” He let out a screech that couldn’t be heard by human ears. Plagg, able to hear but used to Adrien’s Ladybug-related sounds, didn’t even wince. “Marinette is Ladybug.”
“Yeah.”
“But I saw her and Multimouse- oh, yeah, fox miraculous.” He slapped his forehead before smiling stupidly. “My clever little bug.”
“Sure.” Plagg said. 
(Tikki’s girl was certainly smart, but after seeing her trip at the school steps when Adrien took a long sip of water and fall into a trash can that subsequently started to roll down the streets, Plagg wasn’t that eager to praise her intelligence. Adrien, at the time, just smiled adoringly and said ‘typical Marinette’ before running to catch up with Alya and Nino as they chased the trash can. So Plagg didn’t really have the high ground to talk about smart chosens.)
“Oh, but Marinette is in love with Luka!” Adrien shouted. “She’ll never want to date me!”
“She’s dating you right now.”
“Oh.” He said, settling down again. Then, he jumped up. “I’m dating Marinette! Plagg, Marinette loves me!”
“She sure does, kid.” Plagg said, trying to keep his tone bored, but it was too hard in the face of Adrien’s unadulterated joy. His kitten deserved to be happy.
“Marinette made me a hat for my name day!”
“Yep.”
“Marinette was really confessing her love for me when she thought I was a statue!”
“Kinda creepy but yes.”
“Marinette tried to give me a love letter!” Adrien burst out into lovesick giggles, falling back on his bed. “You know what? That makes a lot more sense, actually.”
“Look, kid, I know you’re excited-”
“My girlfriend sits behind me in school!”
“Yeah, she does.” Plagg wondered if now Adrien would notice the burning gaze Marinette sent him the whole school hours. It made him uncomfortable even from his place inside Adrien’s bag “But she doesn’t know you know because she doesn’t know you’re Chat Noir. You have to be, as you kids say, cool about it.”
“Plagg.” Adrien chuckled, grinning. “When have I, Adrien Agreste, ever not been cool about anything?”
According to Ms. Bustier, the answer to that question was “everyday, probably”.
“This is the last time I’ll ask this, class, please look at the board or I’ll start to send people to the principal’s office.”
It was always the same chain reaction. Adrien Agreste, who let out a squeak as soon as Marinette Dupain-Cheng came in ten minutes late with a thermos of tea in one hand and her school bag in the other, kept looking behind him during class. Marinette, completely oblivious to his reason for doing so, looked behind her, confusing Ivan, who turned around to look at Nathaniel, who never failed to blush beet red at this. Then, their classmates who noticed this happening all turned to look at Nathaniel, who practically started to steam. 
“Dude, what was that?” Nino asked as soon as they were released for lunch. “What did you see on the back that got you distracted so bad?”
“I, uh, a bug! Yes, I saw a bug.” 
“Oh, was it that big?”
“Big and beautiful.” Noticing Nino’s weird look at his lovesick sigh, he cleared his throat. “So, having lunch with the girls?”
“We’re going to that new cafe near school.” Nino said. “Why? You in?”
“Actually, yeah.” Adrien smiled at his friend’s surprised face. “No, I didn't get permission. My day’s just been too good to let father ruin it by making me have lunch alone for the fifth time this week.”
“Dude, it’s wednesday.”
“Physically, he only missed two. Spiritually? Many more.”
Nino whistled. “You’re a bold guy, Adrien. Let’s go look for the girls, then.”
They were greeted by the most beautiful sight in the world: a giggling Marinette, cheeks flushed and hands gesturing wildly. His heart threatened to run away from his chest just to fall at her feet and beg for attention. As soon as she saw him, everything about her seemed to intensify and Alya raised an eyebrow at him, easy smile falling from her face. 
“Look who’s having lunch with us today.” Nino said, dropping a hand on Adrien’s shoulder. “Isn’t it great?!”
“Sure is.” Alya said, voice flat. Distantly, Adrien hears the sound of a kettle going off, before he realized it was just Marinette muffling her squeals in her hands.
The cafe was nice, bright and airy with a lot of windows. Anyone that tried to take the table of four near the wall backed off as soon as they were met with Alya’s eyes, so they took turns to make their orders in pairs as the other two held the seats. Adrien tried to go with Marinette, but Alya grabbed her wrist and dragged her off as soon as they put their things on the table. He hides his disappointment by ordering a large slice of red velvet cake for dessert along with his apple juice, chicken and salad.
“Stop giving me the sad puppy eyes.” He told Nino. “I do like salad, okay? I grew up eating it and with the right dressing, it tastes great.”
Nino still rolled over a mini roll with butter. Adrien rolled his eyes playfully and grinned.
“So, Marinette, what did you get?” He asked her, watching her pause in her slurping of a noodle. There was red sauce on her cheek and he wiped it with a napkin, making the color of the food blend in with her face.
“I got balls of cheese. Bold of these. Bolognese. Yes, bolognese pasta! Haha, I love it!” She said before stuffing her mouth with it. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Alya pinch the bridge of her nose. 
“That’s great, I’m having some good old salad.” Smooth, Agreste. “Wanna try?”
“Oh, I-I couldn’t, I think I ordered too much food already.” Marinette stammered. “B-but do you like it?”
“I love it.” I love you. They simply stared at each other, floating off somewhere else. 
They eventually fell off their high as a loud “squelch” resonated in the busy cafe.
“Babe, your orange.” Nino said, taking some napkins to wipe at the tangerine Alya crushed with her right hand.
“I like it like this.” She said, refusing the napkin and eating the fruit off her hand, skin and all, while sending a death glare to Adrien.
He couldn’t understand what he did wrong. All his actions could amount to talking to Marinette lovingly and staring at her adoringly. A common reaction to seeing her, after all. What did Alya have against that?
“I was alone with my best friend and she was being so understanding I just… told her.”
Oh. Alya was Marinette’s best friend. Alya was Ladybug’s best friend. Ladybug told her best friend her secret identity. Alya probably knows Adrien Agreste and Ladybug are dating and now Adrien is swooning over a girl that, as far as he knows, is a completely different person.
He could hear faint snickering from his pocket. 
“Marinette.” He said, grasping her hands, which went completely slack in his, and stared directly into her eyes. “You’re a really good friend.”
Marinette went crimson and open-mouthed, hands staying exactly where he carefully placed the back on the table. Nino kept looking between them, frowning. Alya’s glare waned and now she just looked plain confused, tangerine juice dripping from her fingers.
Nailed it.
The rest of the day went by a slow crawl, lunch finally giving him enough self-control to not turn around every five minutes (it already caused enough trouble, as a jumpy Nathaniel kept looking behind him with nervous eyes). He tried to pay attention in class and not doodle a bunch of anime-Marinettes and him holding hands on dates. They could go on dates and hold hands in public and go on red carpets! Maybe his father won’t like it, but hasn’t Adrien been a good son? Doesn’t he deserve love? Doesn't he-
“Dude, class is over.” Nino said, leaning over with concerned eyes. Everyone around them was putting their things away and she caught a glimpse of Marinette being dragged to the hall by Alya.  “Is everything okay?”
“Better than okay, Nino.” Adrien said, overjoyed. “I’m so happy today that I feel like bursting!”
“I’m glad.” His friend said, voice soft. “After the stuff with Marinette, you were just so down and I didn’t know how to help… So seeing you happy, it’s great.”
“Nino…” He said, feeling his chest cave in as everything inside him turned into mush. Overwhelmed, he hugged him. “Thanks.”
“But I didn’t do anything?” Nino said, patting him on the back.
“For being here.” Adrien said as he let go. Nino laughed.
“If you say so.”
He went back home in an even better mood, breezing through his chineses classes. His teacher praised his enthusiasm and said they hoped he came back with this much energy next time, too. The photoshoot he went to after was a success, the photographer commenting on his smile being brighter than ever. 
“You look even happier than yesterday.” Was the first thing Ladybug said when she came through the window,haloed by the light of the setting sun. “Is this a pattern? If I come in tomorrow, will you be even happier?”
“The only way I’ll be happy at all tomorrow is if I see you.” He said, kissing the tip of her nose and making her giggle. 
Now that he knew who she was, the magic glamour that clouded his vision was gone and he could clearly see who he was holding: just Marinette in a red mask. The idea made his poor, abused heart speed up. This girl was going to kill him just by existing, if she kept this up. 
“How did it go with Chat Noir, yesterday?” Adrien asked, slyly.
“Oh, it went great!” Her eyes lightened up when she talked about Chat Noir, did she notice? “We made a deal, too, involving our secret identities and now we’re talking about ourselves more.”
“I’m happy for you two.”
“Thanks.” She said before her smile fell a little. “He did get weird after a while, though, when I was talking about you.”
“Oh.” She did notice. He had been so sure his subtle deflection had been perfect. “Maybe he’s jealous? You said he has a crush on you.”
“More like had a crush on me.” Ladybug said, the bitterness in her voice making Adrien’s eyes widen. “He has a girlfriend, now. His soulmate, apparently. Cool, cool, good for him. I’m sure she’s very nice, can’t wait to meet her. Maybe we can go on a double date, what do you think?”
He resisted the urge to laugh hysterically at the idea. “Sure.”
“Great!” Her forced smile changed into something more genuine. “Now that me and Chat are telling each other about ourselves, I thought that maybe… I could tell you more about myself, too?”
“Really?” Okay, Agreste, be cool about it.
“Yes, anything you want to know. If I can answer it, I will. Let’s just save names for last, but other than that, I’ll try.”
“Was that bolognese pasta from lunch really that good?”
Her pale face registered in his mind before his own words did.
“I-I mean…” Not even one conversation. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Plagg mocked him. “Damn, I’m sorry, Marinette.”
“I… How… Wha…” She stuttered, before her mouth settled into gaping like a fish. 
“Well, the statue stuff was really specific, but the constipation medicine was what really sold it to me.” He said, voice much more level than how he was feeling.
Adrien could see in her eyes the exact moment everything clicked. 
“Chaton?”
“Surprise, my lady.” He smiled weakly and she stood there, speechless. “Please say something.”
“Is it really you?” Ladybug asked, voice small. 
“Yeah, it’s really him.” Plagg said, floating over Adrien’s shoulder. “Honestly, I have a bone to pick with you, Pigtails. Do you know how unbearable he-”
“Not now, Plagg.” He hissed, swatting him away and dodging his little teeth. “Go to your room or I’ll feed you processed cheese for a month.”
Plagg literally hissed at him before quietly flying to his trash can.
“Sorry for him, I just-” 
Ladybug carefully cradled his cheek. “It’s really you.”
“Yeah.” He agreed, insides tender. “And it’s really you, right, Marinette?”
Pink light washed over him and when it receded, the one that stood there, pink-cheeked and looking softer than ever in a green sweater, was Marinette. His lady. 
“It’s really me, chaton.” She laughed, delighted. “It’s really us.”
He joined her in laughter, heart feeling fuller than ever. He didn't think it would ever be empty again, not with her by his side. 
15 notes · View notes
stellar-starseed · 3 years
Text
Closer Than That
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Group: Stray Kids
Pairing: Changbin x fem!reader, Jisung x fem!reader, polyamory
Word Count: 2,330
Summary: Your best friends happen to be 3racha, but Changbin was your closest friend from childhood. When things start to take a different turn in your relationship, you’re left wondering which way is up.
Chapter: 5/?
Other Chapters: Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4
Warnings: 18+; sexual content, language
Note: This is cross posted on ao3
Chapter 5
Changbin entered your empty apartment after waiting outside for some time to no answer. He checked the studio to be sure you weren’t wrapped in a creative streak, but he found it empty along with the rest of your apartment. He sat on the couch and groaned. He really fucked up, he thought to himself.
Although it wasn’t more than a week since he had seen you, it had been so long since he had spent anytime without you it felt empty. On top of this not being a normal occurrence, Changbin felt out of sorts thinking you were truly upset with him.
“I should’ve never said that.” He said out loud. He looked to his side and the first time he kissed you flashed in his mind. You were shocked and he found it so cute the way you tried to deny it all at first. Changbin remembered the feeling of you relaxing into his arms as he pressed his lips against yours. The sweet taste of you as he ran his tongue over your lip. He found himself biting down on his bottom lip.
“Feel better?” Felix asked as he saw Changbin come through the front door. Changbin sighed.
“It’s all good, mate.” Chan pat him on the back, “Felix made the best brownies to date.” Chan stuffed his mouth. “Mmmm!” He did a little dance. Changbin laughed at Chan’s actions.
“Give me one of those.” Changbin sat down at the table. Felix brought over a plate full of brownies.
“There are three different kinds. These are extra gooey fudge, these are dark chocolate, and the last are chocolate with chocolate chunks.”
“What? I didn’t know there were options.” Chan pouts coming back to the plate.
“Bro, you had like four I thought you knew.” Changbin chuckled at the two of them.
“These are good.” Changbin nodded. Felix brightened up and thanked him.
“I’m working on a batch of cookies right now.” Felix turned on his heal and headed back to the kitchen. Changbin chuckled at him.
“You seem like you’re feeling better.” Chan sat next to Changbin and grabbed for a fifth brownie.
“Nah, I’m just realizing how bad I fucked up.”
“I missed you.” You finally spit out the words as your heading out of the coffee shop. Jisung’s heart soars and he can’t hold back his smile.
“I missed you too,______.” His hand reaches for yours and you feel goosebumps run up your arms at his gentle touch. His eyes meet yours and he pulls you towards him. You momentarily don’t know where this is going but it crosses your mind that he wants to kiss you. You shake it from your mind, that can’t be true, you think. As your mind races through contradicting thoughts, Jisung’s lips find yours.
You’re so lost in the shock of it all you didn’t get to fully enjoy the kiss. It was over far too soon. Your lips tingled when he pulled away and you searched his eyes. He seemed so defeated when you admitted to having feelings for Changbin, but now it was as if you hadn’t said a word. He slipped his fingers through yours and let you know he would walk you to your car.
When you reached your car, Jisung pulled you in close. Wrapping his arms around you, he rested his head on yours. He felt content. He missed you, he missed this feeling.
You closed your eyes and let your arms slip around his slender body. It felt so nice to be wrapped in his arms. His scent was familiar and so comforting. You weren’t sure how you could deal without him. The pang you felt when he was gone came back and you pulled away slightly.
“Don’t leave me.” You said looking into his eyes. Jisung leaned down and softly kissed you before he seriously looked you in the eyes again.
“Never.” He said, the way he looked at you made you feel as if he wanted to make sure you understood he truly meant it. You nodded ever so slightly and rested your head on his chest. He tightened his arms around you again. You were both content to stay like that.
Jisung felt refreshed. He wasn’t sure why he let his emotions get the best of him for that long, but he vowed to never do that again. He replayed the first and second kiss in his mind the whole walk home. His heart fluttered and he chuckled to himself as he entered the dorm.
Jisung danced his way into the living room, a song playing on his lips. He stopped at the couch to belt out the last line.
“You’re in a good mood. All of a sudden?” Changbin was slumped on the couch, his hands intertwined and his thumbs circling each other. He looked down at his hands. Jisung froze.
“Uh. Yes?” He cleared his throat. “Hey,” Jisung looked around and sat on the couch. “I’m sorry. You know, for being an ass.”
“Yeah?” Changbin questioned. “Are you sorry for kissing her too?”
You fell back down on your bed with a dreamy sigh. How could his lips be so soft and delicious? You shrieked and had a mini flailing fit. He looked so good in that outfit and he smelled so good. Your mind was flooded with thoughts of your ‘Hannie’. You filled with excitement just thinking he was yours. You giggled to yourself.
Jumping up from your bed, you headed to your studio. You felt inspired and couldn’t shake the grin you had. The scene replayed over and over. The way he kissed you. The way he held you. The way he looked at you like you were the only important thing to exist.
“Seungie.” You said out loud as you gently touched your lips, chasing that feeling again. You had to tell Somin, you thought.
You pulled out your phone and immediately sent a message to your friend. Moments later she text back in her normal skeptical fashion.
Minnie:
18:38: Are you sure about that?
18:39: What about Binnie? I was routing for him!
You send back a few emojis. It was exciting for you to finally kiss your crush and Somin knew what a crush it had been over the years. You felt a bit guilty for it after her text.
You sat down in your chair and noticed a folded piece of paper on your keyboard. You were certain you didn’t leave this here. You unfolded it to familiar handwriting.
You chuckle to yourself when Changbin’s familiar voice runs through your mind as you read over a new nick name for you, ‘my princess’.
“I wanted to see you, but I guess you still need some space. I’m sorry that I upset you, and if I hurt you I’m even sorrier. I care about you and I hope you know that I wouldn’t hurt you on purpose.”
You smile to yourself. Changbin was the biggest sweetheart when he wanted to be and the biggest brat otherwise. You were nearly ready to head to the dorms just to see him when you realized this may not be the best idea. How were Jisung and Changbin going to get along, and how was Changbin going to feel after finding out you kissed Jisung?
*Chime*
You pick up your phone to a message from Minho.
MinHoe:
18:49:
>gif of mad laughter<
18:49:
They’re plotting your demise. I can’t protect you, but I always liked you!
You laugh to yourself. Minho was precious. You text back the most dramatic crying gif you could find and tell him you always loved him. This web you have created is going to affect everyone around you. You sighed. Hopefully they could let out their steam and maybe things could go back to semi normal.
Jisung was caught by surprise. It wasn’t but fifteen minutes ago that he had kissed you. How could Changbin have seen?
“I-“ he cocked his head. “No.” He shrugged, shaking his head. “I’m not.” Jisung answered Changbin’s question honestly. There was a blanket of silence that took over the room.
“I don’t want to hurt you. I was an ass and I shouldn’t have taken it out in you. But I’m not sorry for kissing her. I’m not sorry for liking her. I don’t think you should be sorry for those things either.”
Slowly, their guards were let down. They had a real conversation about the events that had taken place in their friendship over the last few months. They talked about their feelings for you and they talked about the last few weeks of arguing. They were both a little hurt from each other and the situation. Neither Changbin nor Jisung knew where to go from here.
After about an hour going back and forth with yourself between whether this may be a god idea or a bad idea, you open a group text for Changbin and Jisung. You ask them to come over to talk.
Binnie:
18:55: Of course. :)
Seungie:
18:57: Like together?
Binnie:
18:57: He’ll be there.
Seungie:
18:58: Okay! Me too.
You become a little nervous when you think about addressing the situation head on. But you were all adults, and this shouldn’t be so hard. You wanted your friendships to withstand anything, and this was a true test if ever there was one.
You tried to rehearse different ways of approaching this, but in the end you basically just came up with a couple of points you needed to make. Which was better than nothing.
Your thoughts were interrupted by Changbin’s signature knock and you couldn’t help but giggle to yourself. You tried to make sure you were as presentable as possible before opening the door. You realized your heart rate had picked up a bit but you opened the door like normal.
Changbin stood there with his hat and hoodie. He was emanating boyfriend vibes, and you were a sucker for seeing him in hats and hoodies. Jisung’s smile was the next thing to catch your eye and it warmed your heart.
“Well,” you step aside, “what are you waiting for?”
Changbin pauses, glances at Jisung and back at you. He steals a quick kiss and hurries inside. Jisung paused for a moment, a confused look on his face. He wasn’t sure if that was allowed after their heart to heart.
Jisung rubbed the back of his head and stepped closer to you. He stole a quick kiss as well and you chuckled. This is something you could get used to.
“So,” Changbin plopped down on the couch. “You need my superior producing advice, right? That’s why you called me over?” He smiled wide.
“Then why am I here?” Jisung laughed.
“To kiss and make up.” Changbin remarked.
“Oh, in that case.” Jisung stepped forward, wrapping an arm around your waist he gives you a peck on the cheek. “Do you forgive me darling?” You chuckle at his dramatic tone.
“Hey, hey.” Changbin says, “I didn’t approve that kiss.”
“All kisses need the Changbin seal?” You question.
“How else is this going to work? You know I get jealous.”
“How is what going to work?” You look from Changbin to Jisung who shrugs.
“This.” He circles a finger in the air around the three of you. “Us.” He sits down on the couch. You decide to head over to the couch yourself and you grab Jisung’s hand to pull him along behind you. You sit next to Changbin and grab his hand. Looking at both of their hands in your lap, you sigh.
“Us?” You look at Changbin. “We’re going to be an us?”
“Yeah.” He says, a smile tugging at his lips. “You forgive me?” He pouts and gives you puppy eyes. You can’t help but smile at him.
“Maybe.” You pout. “You made me feel like shit when you ignored me to flirt with that makeup girl that has a thing for you. When you said you told Chan we were dating I felt like you were playing games. Please, don’t do anything like that again.”
“I won’t, but she has a thing for Chan. I asked her to do that to make you jealous. I am so sorry that I hurt you.”
You repeatedly smack Changbin’s arm. “You’re the biggest brat, you know that?” You can’t help but laugh at this point. Changbin nods with a smile.
“Seungie?” You turn to Jisung who was unusually quiet.
“Hm?” You pulled him from his thoughts and he turns his body towards you.
“Are you also on board?”
“I just...” he seems to be gathering his thoughts. “Do I have to sleep with him?”
“What?” Changbin sat straight up. “I never said...” he shuddered.
You shrugged. “No one has to do anything they don’t want to do. I’m not asking you guys to suddenly change everything. You don’t even have to agree to this, but I am interested in trying it out.”
“Okay. Then yes.” Jisung says after a moment of thought. “I have always shared you with Changbin and it didn’t seem to bother me. It was when I thought you had made a choice. A single choice that wasn’t me, that’s what hurt my feelings.”
You hold Jisung’s face in your hands and give him a kiss. You lean your forehead against his. You could see the smile in his eyes and it made you happy.
“If I can be completely honest...” You look back and forth between the two of them. “I have had feelings for you both for such a long time that it would’ve been too hard to choose.”
Changbin’s hand slid up your back and he began to rub soothing circles over your shirt. You leaned back into Changbin and pulled Jisung on top of you.
“I could definitely get used to this.” You giggle.
“Me too.” Changbin says softly next your ear before pressing his lips to your cheek.
————————————————————
Thanks for stopping by, lovely!
I hope you enjoyed. Catch you next episode :)
41 notes · View notes
gypsydanger01 · 4 years
Text
THE STORM - Part ten
Fandom: The Boys (Amazon prime tv series)
Pairing: Black Noir x OC
Disclaimer: I don’t own The Boys, only my OC characters and certain pieces of au plot.
Comments, reviews, constructive criticism, and other requests are always more than welcome!
  Posting new chapters on Wednesday and Friday!
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Die Hard and stolen glances
After making sure Sarah ate a hearty lunch, Martha took her leave, worry still lingering in her eyes. She’d made her friend promise to call Mallory as soon as possible. Sarah decided she’d contact her tomorrow at their usual time. And while she always looked forward to talking with the woman who’d raised her through her teen years, she felt dread creep up at the thought of having to either lie or tell her the truth and deal with the consequences. Telling Mallory her abilities had resurfaced would be equivalent to purchasing a ticket back home. And that was the one thing she could not do. Not until this situation with Vought was resolved.
Putting those thoughts to rest, her mind moved onto the other pressing concern: her upcoming movie night with Black Noir. It felt silly to think—even more when said out lout, but they bonded over their love for action movies. She shrugged her coat on and wrapped a scarf loosely around her neck before heading out of the house. The neighborhood she lived in wasn’t extremely well kept and trash often littered the sidewalks, clustering in the corners. She’d been skeptical when the previous owner had given her a tour. However, she soon realized she didn’t mind, and the affordable price and relatively quiet environment ultimately won her over. Being right outside of the city, the housing complexes were low rise, about two floors high, some three. She had a view on the city and could easily access the university on her bike. Sure, it took about fifteen minutes, but the peace and absence of the city’s obnoxious traffic in that small, rundown neighborhood made it worth it.
She soon reached her destination: the nearest small shop, “Dave’s Grocers.” Immediately, she headed for the party necessities section, searching for straws amid the colorful shelves. She soon grew impatient, scanning the items multiple times.
“Hello, welcome to Dave’s Grocers,” a young employee greeted her. “Is there anything I can I help you with?”
“Hi, yeah actually I’m looking for straws,” she glanced back at the shelves, “but I can’t seem to find any.”
The young man—whose name tag read Bernard in a squiggly handwriting—looked through the shelves himself before confirming her suspicions.
“I can check in the back if we had anything come in,” he offered.
“Yeah that would be great, thank you.”
With that she followed him and waited at the front counter as he disappeared into the back. He soon returned with a box in his arms.
“I found a box of them,” he smiled genuinely. He set the box down and opened it up.
The first thing that registered in Sarah’s mind was, “They’re pink.” She looked to him for confirmation.
“Magenta to be precise.”
She pushed some of her hair behind her ears. Black Noir had refused a drink last time because he wouldn’t take his mask off. She figured that by offering him a strawed drink, he’d accept it. She was sure she’d seen him drinking from a straw before, either in passing at Vought or on television. She wanted it to be a thoughtful act, and here she was thinking of offering him a pink straw.
Sure, it was just a color, right? Their generation was past binary color preferences—pink for girls, blue for boys. They were over it, right? A lot of men see no issue in wearing pink or purple these days. But Black Noir was no ordinary man. 
What was initial horror, soon morphed into amusement. She became curious of  his reaction. 
“How much” she questioned, eyes glued to the intensely colored straws.
“Uh,” he checked the side of the cardboard to be sure, “a dollar and fifty cents for a pack of twenty.”
She nodded, making up her mind, “I’ll take one.”
After paying he asked her to hold up, scratching the back of his neck.
“Could I get your number?”
She eyed him in suspicion, the man from the previous night flashing in front of her eyes. But then she quickly softened. He’d been helpful and seemed like a sweet guy.
“Look, I’m sorry but I’m seeing someone,” she slightly twisted the truth.
“Ahh, should’ve known,” he looked down with a disappointed smile. “He a good guy,” he asked.
Sarah wanted to choke right there. He’s Edgar’s damn hitman and has probably killed more people than she could count.
She simplified her answer with, “Yeah, he’s great,” she held up the straws, “these are actually for him.”
Bernard laughed lightly, “Bold. That’s why you looked worried when you first saw them, huh?”
She chuckled, “Yeah, he’s in for a surprise.”
After waving goodbye, she took her leave and headed back home.
.
When eight o’clock rolled around, Sarah was ready. She’d fixed her hair, her dark brown coils forming a soft cloud over her shoulders. A light coat of mascara was what she settled for, deciding to forego any other makeup. This was a casual meeting between two people who were barely acquaintances, she reminded herself. She changed into comfy clothes, slipping on her best pair of black sweatpants with a matching sweatshirt. Soft socks were a must.
Finally, she made sure her necklace poked out of her top. It had been her mother’s, who’d passed it down to her when she’d first been hospitalized. It was meant as a reminder that her parents were always with her and that they’d fight her disease together. It was a symbol of hope. Now, it was a small piece of her parents she kept on her always. Sometimes, it gave her a sense of peace as she recalled memories of family dinners or the playground. Other times, it fueled the guilt and deep-seated hate she felt towards the institution that made her into the monster she is. She fiddled with the black pearl, crowned by a gold fringe.
Heading back into the living room, she planned to wait for him on the couch. And there he was, standing in the middle of her living room.
This time she didn’t jump or freeze, already growing accustomed to his sudden appearances. She was grounded, she refused to be afraid. She thought it was foolish to not fear such a dangerous threat. So, she acknowledged it, but left it in a corner of her mind where she could see it but deny it control of her actions or reactions.
“Hey,” she greeted nodding at him, “how are you,” she asked.
He nodded at her and she quickly handed over their black notebook for him to reply.
Fine. You
She smiled, “I’m doing okay.”
He watched her movements, fluid and more controlled than last time. What he’d witnessed the night before had given him a new perspective, and he desperately wanted to question her about what happened. But at that point, he’d be admitting himself as a stalker. He stayed silent.
She nodded towards the couch, “You can sit, the movie’s already in,” she said turning her television on. “I made some popcorn, I’m not sure if you wanted to eat anything.”
He sat and simply watched her. Sarah ducked into the kitchen before she ended up losing her confidence. She emerged with a big bowl of popcorn, inhaling the smell, and humming a tune. She set the bowl on the coffee table, glancing at the massive man before heading back into the kitchen to get their drinks.
“So please bear with me,” she said moving towards him with the two drinks behind her back. “I know you aren’t comfortable with pulling your mask, so I went and got something to help with that…” she trailed off.
He tilted his head slightly, and she imagined an inquisitive expression had formed on his face.
She moved the drinks to the front, careful to not spill any.
“I know the straws are bold…” she stated the obvious. “Would you like some?”
He assessed the situation—the straws, the soft blush on her cheeks, her frame engulfed by her sweatshirt. And he found himself nodding, if only to put her at ease. He was unexpectedly moved by her thoughtfulness, a tightness forming in his chest.
She exhaled the breath she’d been holding, “Great, here you go,” she said brightly.
She grabbed a throw blanket to wrap herself in and moved towards the other couch chair in the room. He frowned. She was cold? She looked so much smaller in her home clothes, and he felt an itch to gather her in his arms. He ran at a higher temperature anyway, he’d probably feel like a thermostat to her.
“Do you want a blanket?”
He blinked at her, and she too found it amusing that this massive dark man might want one of her small light blue covers.
He shook his head. I’m fine and followed it with a thumbs up.
She nodded and snuggled into the chair, diagonally to his right.
She grabbed the remote and pointed it to the screen, pressing play.
And so, they watched the movie, constantly exchanging hurried, shy glances. Once, she was watching him out of the corner of her eye, and she saw him discreetly lift his mask, pick some popcorn and drop them in his mouth. He immediately covered his face again and chewed without making a sound. She was disappointed that in the dark she missed it. At one point, Sarah was surprised to see his shoulders shaking with silent laughter. She too laughed, and often commented her favorite scenes. She hoped he didn’t mind. She just couldn’t seem to help herself. And he secretly loved it. He enjoyed her voice, especially when she was talking to him.
He watched her snuggle deep under the blanket, her sweatshirt sleeves pulled over her hands. He watched her laugh and comment the scenes they both knew by heart. In the dark room, he watched her more than the movie itself. The colored light projecting from the screen flitted across her cheeks, her attention captured by John McClane as he took down Gruber’s team in the Nakatomi Tower.
Black Noir was rather disappointed when the credits rolled and she rose to switch the lights back on. He perked up when she spoke, “Always a classic, huh?”
He nodded with enthusiasm.
She recited with a deeper voice, “Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.”
Sarah was pleasantly surprised when he clapped his hands and wrote Bravo.
She curtsied, “Why thank you.”
She must be losing her mind, joking around with one of the most dangerous men in the world. And yet, right then she couldn’t bring herself to fear him. Black Noir was still holding his drink, hot pink straw sticking out like a sore thumb.
She took the last sip of her own drink, and embarrassedly stopped when she began to slurp loudly.
“Oh god, sorry. My friend absolutely hates it when I do that.”
He looked over as she brought her legs up into a cross-legged position. And then he did something that surprised them both.
He gave her a thumbs up and loudly sucked on his straw, emitting the same sounds she’d just made. Sarah stared wide-eyed and began to laugh.
He wrote. Sorry :)
“We’re both scandalous—just scandalous,” she smiled.
She gathered their empty cups, but he stopped her before she could get up. She looked so comfortable and he swiftly stood and placed a hand on her shoulder, indicating she should stay seated. Sarah looked up at him shocked and suddenly reminded of his murderous tendencies. He gently took the cups from her hands and immediately went to wash them in her kitchen sink. He felt rather than saw her enter the small kitchen leaning her back against the counter beside him, watching him work. He stilled and she quickly realized why, his big, dark gloves left on the counter.
She felt like they had entered a bubble, a very unstable bubble that could burst at any second.
She whispered softly, “It’s okay, you don’t have to hide here.”
He stared down in the now empty sink. He finally brought his hands up and over the edge, slowly reaching for the gloves. His skin was a toffee brown, his long fingers rough and calloused. She felt the sudden urge to reach out and touch him, assure herself that indeed there is a man under the suit. She quickly swallowed the thought and filed it away.
He looked at her and she held his concealed gaze for a few, long seconds. She wondered what thoughts were whizzing across his brain.
“Who knows what you look like?”
He merely stared at her. She tried, “Anyone?”
He shook his head no.
She continued speaking softly, finally looking away. “But isn’t that lonely? I mean not being comfortable enough in another’s presence to be seen as you are?”
She knew this was a sensitive topic for him and feared she’d taken it a step too far. But fortune favored the bold, and she wanted to understand the silent man in front of her.
He promptly left the room, and she sagged against the counter. She thought he’d left, and instead there he was returning black notebook in hand. He came to stand next to her, so close her head reached his shoulders. He too leaned back against the counter mirroring her stance. He scribbled against the paper.
Are we friends?
She smiled confused, “Uhm I’d like to think so, but it's not something you just decide, it just happens when you enjoy being around a person. Do you see me as a friend?”
He stared at her for the longest, and she found herself glancing behind him at the knives stand further down on the counter. She could feel her heart beating loudly and grew worried that she’d truly overstepped his boundaries.
Relief flooded her when he finally nodded.
When can I see you again?
He found he needed to leave, he needed to think somewhere he could focus. Those dark chocolate eyes of hers disarmed him, and he felt vulnerable under her gaze. The fact she’d seen his hands had shaken him. But she hadn’t recoiled, he reminded himself.
Sarah thought about it, “How does Wednesday evening sound? Same time?”
He nodded. 
He wasn’t sure what friends did when parting. He’d observed that some hug, some shake hands, some wave... What stage were they at? He wasn’t sure what would be appropriate in this situation.
He drew his characteristic smiley face on the notebook for her to find, and flipped it closed. He felt shaky under his collected exterior, and her perfume sent him over the edge. He twisted and pulled her close into his chest, an arm around her back as he pressed a chaste kiss to the top of her head, inhaling her vanilla leave-in conditioner. Just as quick, he pulled away, straightened his posture and walked out of the room, leaving the notebook on the table.
Sarah was bewildered. Her heart was racing, her thoughts jumbled into an incoherent mess. She stood there for a couple minutes. But what truly surprised her, was that she felt a fluttering sensation in her stomach, a blush creeping up her neck. You have got to be kidding me, she thought to herself.
What was absent, instead, was the enveloping warmth she felt before a breakout. Maybe she wasn’t in danger around him, after all.
MASTERLIST
Tag list: @ateliefloresdaprimavera @ellejo @dust-bun @coco724 ​  @proximio-5 @damiminator @omegahighendpro @rpgluvr95 @sweetrabbitteamx
77 notes · View notes
logical-little-lies · 3 years
Text
{Chapter 9- So, How’d It Go?}//Soft, Cute, and Far Smarter Than You (Sanders Sides Agere/CGLRE)
A/N: So this chapter starts off with a cute teen!logan scenario, then skips to Logan talking with Virgil after his date with Patton. I honestly wanna focus on the agere aspect of this story, so I'll probably continue to make the romance plot a background thing unless people request that I bring it to the forefront more. I'll have sweet romance moments here and there and their relationship progresses but it'll be a here-and-there thing, y'know?
Anyways, enjoy the chapter. It's kinda short, 2000-ish words. <3
--
"Good morningggg," Patton opened Logan's door, speaking in a sing-songy voice to wake him up. It took Logan a moment to register where he was and what happened the day prior.
Once he realized, his face went red. He had wet himself yesterday. And he wore a diaper.
Though, the diaper part wasn't terrible. But he'd address that thought later.
"Morning," he muttered, after realizing that he hadn't replied to Patton out loud. He sat up, running at his eyes. He was still in the onesie, and the space themed pull up.
"Are you okay, Lo?" Patton asked, coming in the room all the way and shutting the door behind him. Logan nodded softly. Yeah, he was technically fine, but he was very embarrassed.
"I'm fine," he replied verbally.
"If you're embarrassed about yesterday, you don't have to be. No one's gonna make fun of you," Patton sat down on the bed, giving him a soft look.
"I knoww, it's just-" he cut himself off, realizing he had no real reason to be embarrassed. His caregiver had only wanted to help, and Roman was probably the one who gave him the pull up. No one was upset with him, no one had laughed at him. "I'm sorry." he mumbled.
"Don't be sorry, kiddo- uh, Logan. Shutting off the pet name thing is hard." Patton's slip up caused them both to chuckle.  After a moment, Patton spoke again. "I figured you'd be a little shy about it." he shrugged.
Logan nodded. "You said you have trouble with accidents often when you're that little?" Patton questioned, speaking in a tone of curiosity.
"It gets harder and harder the littler I get, I guess. But I've only had actual accidents when I'm 3 or 4." he explained.
"Do you think these accidents can be avoided if I just remind you to go to the bathroom more when you're smaller?" Patton asked another question, Logan shrugging a bit in response.
"Maybe, yeah. When I'm that small, I genuinely don't recognize that I have to go until it's to late. When I'm a little older, like five or six, I just get caught up in playing and hold it off."
"So reminding you would work for when you're five or six, but any younger and it's questionable?"
Logan confirmed his suspicions with a nod, allowing him to continue. "You don't have too, we could figure something else out if you wan't....but would you be okay with wearing diapers or pull ups when you're really little? Just so you don't have to worry about it."
Logan didn't reply, thinking. Patton spoke again. "If you don't like that, we can make a new rule? That you have to wear protection after an accident. So you only wear them when needed."
"I like that, I think. For when I'm a little older though, like when my accidents are caused by me pushing it off because I wanna play." Logan trailed off, biting his lip. "When I'm three or four, I'd be okay with me wearing them all the time." he shrugged, his cheeks a little pink.
"Do you like diapers?" Patton asked suddenly, seemingly curious.
"The pull up made me feel smaller, and safer, I guess. It was one less thing I had to worry about. Plus..they're kinda cute," he was still blushing. "I can always try it and change my mind, too."
Patton nodded softly, "Of course, baby. Now, do you wanna stay big today or no?"
He could tell that Logan was big right now, but he could probably regress if he wanted to. It almost seemed like he was in an in-between state of mind anyway. Logan shook his head quickly. He had had trouble staying big for that conversation, if he was being honest.
"How small are you feeling?"
"Not very. But I don't feel completely big either." Logan admitted. "C-can I get ready by myself? I'll head down for breakfast in a bit."
Patton smiled a bit, leaning forward and kissing his forehead. "I'll see you in a bit."
Logan watched him leave, shutting the door behind him, before he pushed the covers off of him. He started by picking out an outfit. He couldn't find anything that he really liked, throwing on light blue jeans and a dark blue shirt. He pulled a beanie over his head, discarding the pull up in his trash can.
He looked around the room, trying to remember if he forgot anything. He had put on deodorant, and the rest of his mourning routine was in the bathroom. He grabbed his phone, heading into the bathroom to finish getting ready.
After brushing his teeth and such, he left his room, moving to go down the stairs, passing Patton's bedroom. The door had been left cracked open, and an item laying over the bedframe caught his eye. Logan wasn't someone who snooped through others stuff, ever, but the sweater on the bed seemed nice.
It was light blue, Patton's signature color, and it looked soft. He bit on his lip, debating his next actions. He felt a little stupid for wanting to wear his dad's shirt. He couldn't place why it felt dumb, so he ignored the feeling.
He stepped into Patton's room, looking around. He hadn't really been in here much. If Patton and Logan took naps or slept in the same bed, it was Logan's. He didn't take the time to look around, snatching up the sweater, and hugging it close to his face. It was soft.
And it smelt like Dad! He didn't even wonder for a split second if he should ask to wear it, simply pulling it on and leaving the room. He shut the door behind him and came down the stairs, entering the kitchen.
"Morning, Logan." Virgil greeted him first, everyone already seated at the table. He patted the seat next to him, motioning Logan over.
"Hi," Logan said, pulling out the chair next to his brother and across from his caregiver. Patton went to greet him, pausing when his eyes glanced over his outfit. Logan's cheeks went pink, and suddenly that stupid feeling of embarrassment came back.
"Is that my sweater?" Patton questioned, seemingly amused.
"It's mine now," Logan joked, trying to pretend he wasn't blushing. Patton chuckled.
"You can't just steal my clothes."
"Yes I can," Logan defied, giving him a cheeky smile. "It's soft and it looks cute on me." he shrugged. Patton gave him a reassuring smile.
"Yeah, it does. Just ask next time?"
Logan agreed, before digging into his breakfast. Roman and Virgil jumped into conversation, and they all talked about whatever came up. They all avoided mentioning yesterday, in a means to not embarrass the boy.
"How old are you today?" Roman was the first to ask. Logan thought, trying to come up with an answer.
"Fifteen?" he decided.  
"Sounds like you're old enough to help me with the chores," Virgil stated, earning a groan from the boy.
"No thanks, Vee. I'd much rather stick to video games and watching videos of other people playing video games," Logan shook his head. He saw Patton looking at him.
"Could you please help your brother, honey?"
Logan didn't bother denying him, rolling his eyes but nodding. "Whatever, dad. I'll do the dishes and fold the laundry."
"Thank you, kiddo." Virgil smiled. "That helps a lot." he assured, causing Logan to smile a bit.
Logan spent the rest of the day regressed, helping his brother with the chores, and playing video games with him. Logan helped Patton with lunch and dinner, and everyone had an overall good day. It was later at night that Logan decided to come out of headspace, completing a few tasks he had just before bed.
The following day, he had his date with Patton. He didn't know whether to be excited or nervous. He felt a mixture of both.
Hopefully, things would go well. Only time would tell.
--
"So, how'd it go?"
"Oh dear god," Logan jumped at Virgil's voice when he entered his room, his brother figure sitting on his bed, waiting for him. "You've been all the more interested in romance since Nico showed up. Why do you care how a movie with Patton went? We always watch movies."
"It's different when it's a dateeee," Virgil teased, watching Logan shut the door behind him and come to sit next to him on the bed. "Come on, tell me how things went," Virgil pouted, looking at him.
"It went well, thank you very much. We went to a cafe after and we talked about stuff," Logan shrugged, fiddling with his hands. He smiled as he thought back on everything. "He kept complimenting me, which was nice. Patton's different, when he's a dad and stuff."
"Roman's the same way. They still care and everything, but it's a different vibe," Virgil agreed. "What'd you talk about?"
"He asked me about work, and we talked about his too. Did you know that he's in charge of sorting memories? Every single interaction Thomas has, he has to go through it?"
"Mhm. I'm the one that interprets fear and anxiety surrounding different things according to those memories. Patton and I are the ones mostly in charge of the whole memory thing," Virgil nodded a bit. "What else?"
"Um....we told stories. Remembered stuff Thomas did, talked about things that happened before the whole "little" thing." he explained, adding onto his statement, "We even talked about before the "living like humans" thing. Which was weird."
"Yeah, it's crazy thinking about how we used to live, separately and just summoning things at will. I like this more," Virgil nodded again, "Anyways, did you hold hands? Kiss? Make out?"
"Yes, we held hands over the movie. And I think we almost kissed, I'm not sure...." Logan shoved him playfully and spoke in a tone of fake annoyance. "Like...when we were leaving the cafe, we had this moment where we locked eyes and we were standing real close, then there was a loud noise because some worker dropped something in the back."
"Aweee, that's so cute! I wanna know everything," Virgil requested. "Walk me through the whole date, please."
Logan rolled his eyes, "Can we do this another day? I'm tired."
"We'll have a sleepover then. Get on with it." he ordered. Logan chuckled a bit, climbing farther onto his bed and letting Virgil follow, settling down and starting from that morning.
Yeah, Virgil was annoying and insufferable sometimes, but Logan was glad that he cared. Even if their brotherly relationship wasn't the same when they were big, they still were close outside of their headspaces. And it seemed, that while they were both big, Virgil was interested in gossip and romance.
That's what happens when you spend all your time around Roman.
Logan went through his whole day with Patton, going over the fact that Logan bought popcorn for them to share at the movies, how Patton reached over and intertwined their fingers during the first scenes of the movie, how they both ordered the same type of muffin at the cafe.
Everything. Every little thing that Patton did that made him smile or blush. Every topic they talked about over Logan's coffee and Patton's hot chocolate. Everything he noticed they had in common, everything about Patton that made him happy.
Before today, Logan had only known Patton to a certain extent outside of his headspace, generally recognizing him as either his caregiver, or just another part of Thomas. He was glad he was opening up, and that he could be close to Patton, and the other sides, outside of his headspace too.
He could have a family without being little.
Plus, Patton was really sweet. And really cute.
Logan had never dated any of the other sides, though he knew a romantic relationship between two of them was possible. Roman and Virgil were dating outside of the emo's littlespace, even if no one ever talked about it. Until recently, Logan had always told himself that he didn't need a romantic relationship.
But maybe, it'd be nice if he did. Especially with Patton.
The least he could do was try.
--
A/N: So I wanted to finish this before Christmas because I’ve been planning a the Christmas chapter for this fic for a while- I should have it ready by Christmas morning as a gift to everyone, but no promises. 
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outlier-rookie · 3 years
Text
Of Blood And Greatness - Chapter 3
Chapter 3/?? - Settling In With Some Concerns
AO3 Link
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26305741/chapters/71331201
***
The next few chapters might be a bit slow pace wise because I want to build up a few more interactions between Reader and the Gang members. Don’t worry, we’ll get to the action soon enough.
TRIGGER WARNING: Anxiety/Panic Attack
***
“Wow (Y/N)! You’re as strong as Uncle Arthur!” (Y/N) paused long enough to shoot Jack a cheeky grin as they continued their path towards the horses, slowly carrying the last hay bale. The tall skittish fella, Kieran, had tried to offer to take the bales instead but (Y/N) was insistent that it wasn’t that heavy and they were no stranger to hard work and heavy lifting. Miss Karen had also had a good laugh with the other girls about the teen putting the likes of Bill and Sean to shame with how much heavy lifting they did around camp. Mrs. Grimshaw, as scary as she was at times, was also quick to praise (Y/N)’s hard work and help with the camp chores.
It had been a few days since everything that happened up near Cattail Pond and as the teen feared, Dutch was less than pleased with the total sum brought back to camp. But like Arthur had promised he was also understanding and despite (Y/N) feeling like they hadn’t delivered on their promise, Dutch welcomed them into the ragtag family of outlaws with a speech and fanciful words of things only getting better from here.
Still, the teen spent their days mulling over their failure with a hollow feeling sitting in the pit of their stomach. Mr. Hosea had sat next to them by the campfire one night with stew in hand and talked about nothing in particular. He started telling short stories from the gang's past and it didn’t click until the teen was falling asleep that night but the stories all had similar feelings to their blunder with the money. (Y/N) fell asleep smiling at the stars that night, putting the memory of Dutch’s ill-concealed disappointment behind them.
***
“Arthur! Welcome back son.” Dutch was sat by his tent smoking a cigar as Arthur led (Y/N) over to him. “So!” he started, standing with his arms extended; whether it was meant in a divine or welcoming manner, (Y/N) wasn’t entirely sure. “How’d your little excursion go?”
“’Fraid we ain’t getting to Tahiti or Australia with what we recovered.” The grizzled outlaw started. “Seems that someone else got to the stash before young (Y/N) here and took most of what we had.” Something in the teen's stomach dropped as the light in Dutch’s eyes seemed to dim slightly. The dark-haired man hummed and folded one arm across his chest, the other bringing his cigar back to his lips. He paused for a moment breathing slowly, the smoke flowing past his lips before being taken by the breeze.
“How much did you get then?” He finally asked
“Would have had ‘bout one third.”
“’Would have’?” (Y/N) shifted nervously and refused to meet Dutch’s eyes, ashamed that they had disappointed this man.
“O’Drisscols.” Arthur replied. “Weren’t the kids' fault. They ambushed us as we were crossing Cumberland Falls. Some of the money went over the falls. Didn’t want to risk staying around in case the law came snooping around. Was a pretty big scene.”
“I see.”
(Y/N) timidly raised their head to find Dutch’s piercing eyes once again focused on them. An old but familiar feeling of helplessness gnawed at their insides, causing their stomach to twist. As their instincts yelled at them to hide, Arthur stepped forward slightly and half placed himself between them and Dutch.
“It wasn’t their fault Dutch.”
“And you can be absolutely sure about that Arthur?”
“As a matter of fact, I can. If they was working with the O’Driscolls to set a trap, then they would have shot me and not three of Colm’s boys.”
Dutch actually seemed surprised by this.
“Sounds like they weren’t embellishing their skills with a gun.” Hosea’s smoother voice was like a cool balm on (Y/N)’s nearly fried nerves.
“Damn right. Them idiots didn’t know what hit em. Kid put them all down with one bullet each.” Arthur replied, stepping back some. An unexpected swift and heavy pat on the back sent the teen stumbling slightly and (Y/N) swore they saw a slight grin on Arthur’s face.
***
“You ok there?” (Y/N nearly dropped the horse brush they were using, as Charles’ deep voice startled them out of their thoughts.
“Y-Yeah! Sorry, was just thinking. Did you uh, need something Mr. Charles?” Charles smiled and the minor change in his breathing suggested silent laughter.
“You can just call me Charles you know.” (Y/N) scrunched their face-up made a noise that was a mix between disagreement and something a bit lighter than disgust which drew another silent laugh from Charles before he continued. “Pearson was complaining that the camps getting low on meat so I offered to go hunting for him. You’ve got a good eye and steady hands so I figured I’d ask if you’d like to come.”
“Really?” Excitement bubbled up inside at the thought of being able to do more than just chores around the camp. (Y/N) could only lug so much water and carry so many sacks before it got repetitive and boring. They weren’t strong enough to properly chop firewood and Mrs. Grimshaw and practically chased them away from laundry and sewing after the first hour. “When you leaving?”
“As soon as possible. I’ll ready the horses while you grab your gun.”
“R-Right! Just give me five. I need to check my satchel.”
With a soft ‘Alright’ from Charles, (Y/N) dropped the horse brush by the hitching post and jogged across the camp towards the medicine wagon. A ratty lean-to was set up next to it and under it an old bedroll. It wasn’t a whole lot but it was more than they had before joining the gang. The well-used bedroll wasn’t nearly as soft as their bed back at Estelle’s home. A small framed photograph of the woman peeked out from under the corner of the bedroll. The faint reminder of the woman who could be sweet as honey one moment and mean enough to give an angry Mrs. Grimshaw a run for her money brought a familiar pang of guilt to the teen. Bitterly they pushed the feelings and memories away and turned the picture over, hiding away from the loving eyes of a woman hundreds or thousands of miles away.
(Y/N) blindly stuffed a few items in their satchel and reached for their gun. Their fingers had barely grazed the sun-warmed metal before they jerked their hand back as if it had burnt. Glassy blue eyes stared blankly at the gun laying on the ground, seemingly mocking them from its pathetic position.
Stupid child.
What were you expecting?
These people were outlaws.
They were no stranger to killing other people.
If you want to survive in their world, it's either shoot first or get dead.
It was hard to breathe as (Y/N) felt their chest tighten like a red hot metal vice had been wrapped around their chest. An old familiar panic started settling into their whole being, starting in their stomach before it wrapped its tendrils around their bones before boring its way into their throat and brain. The air itself caught in their throat and their vision was starting to blur slightly when a hot and heavy pressure made its presence known when it landed solidly on the teen's shoulder.
“Woah there! ‘Sokay! ‘Sokay kid, you’re alright ya hear?” The voice was deep and familiar and most importantly grounding. Still, it took a second for the pressure on their chest to dissipate enough and allow a cool, fresh breath to fill their burning lungs. Blinking, (Y/N) realised that some tears had gathered in their eyes and quickly moved to brush them away, sniffling as they did. Finally, they were able to look up as see Arthur crouching next to them, his brows furrowed gently as he watched them.
“Everything alright Arthur?” (Y/N)’s eyes flicked up to the approaching figure of Hosea.
“We’re fine Hosea. I just startled them is all.” Arthur replied easily. Hosea stood by for a moment before slowly approaching the teen, not too dissimilar to how one would approach a scared animal.
“You alright?” His soft, aged voice reminded the teen of Estelle once more.
“Y-Yeah.” They mumbled. “’M sorry. Dunno what came over me.” They looked away from the two men, eyes once again landing on their repeater as once again a wave of hot white anger flowed through their veins. A weight in their dominant hand drew their attention and (Y/N) suddenly understood why Arthur and Hosea were acting so cautious towards them.
In their hand was their trusty knife, the bronze metal gleaming dangerously in the sunlight. It quickly dawned on the teen that they had pulled it on reflex when Arthur had startled them. A hot flush of shame and embarrassment flooded through them as they frantically shoved the knife back into its sheath.
“Those are some damn fine reflexes you got kid.” Arthur said. The words may have formed a compliment but the tone was wrong and questioning. (Y/N) didn’t want to answer. They just groaned out a vague noise of agreement and pointedly avoided looking at the two men and finished packing their satchel. Slinging the strap over their shoulder the teen all but bolted past Arthur and Hosea making their way back to the horses where Charles stood waiting, making some final adjustments to Taima’s saddle. His movements held some extra tension and (Y/N) just knew that he had seen their little incident and the heat returned to their chest.
“Ain’t we going to go? Mr. Pearson needs meat, doesn’t he?” They snapped.
“You don’t have to come if you-”
“I’m fine!” They cut him off. “Come on.” They huffed, barely resisting the urge to stamp their foot. They were fifteen and basically a grown-up and grown-ups didn’t stomp their feet like toddlers when they were angry. A heavy hand was placed on their shoulder once more.
“Alright then kid.” Arthur said. His gruff voice was uncharacteristically soft. “Mount up. And let’s get goin’.” Gently, Arthur nudged them towards Fortuna who nickered and shoved her nose into (Y/N)’s chest. The mare huffed as the teen half-heartedly scratched her cheeks before silently climbing on. Fortuna shook her mane out and turned as much as she could, keeping an eye on her rider. She let loose another whine as she tried to nose (Y/N) again.
“I’m alright girl.” The whispered, pulling a carrot from one of the many pockets in their satchel and offering it to the worrisome mare. Fortuna took the carrot without protest and calmed as (Y/N) stroked her neck. Tugging on the reins, (Y/N) directed the mare’s head towards the path out of camp. Charles and Arthur were on the backs of Taima and Admiral. Not obviously watching them but also doing exactly that with incredible obviousness for two seasoned outlaws. Huffing, the teen kicked and urged Fortuna forward
***
I started hitting a wall with this chapter towards the end so the ending may feel somewhat abrupt. I didn’t have the energy to beta read this or whatever so all mistakes are mine.
I have a better plan for what will happen in the next chapter or two
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dreamyjoons · 4 years
Text
Last Light ⥋ 03
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⥋ Alone was how you preferred it. People came with feelings, feelings get you killed - and death in the new world wasn’t permanent. But not everything is avoidable, and Kim Taehyung is no exception.
Genre/warnings: zombie apocalypse!au, angst, injury mention
Word count: 4.4k
A/N: brushing a lil on the filler side but we’re getting there! Thank you all so much for your patience in the wait for this series, it means the world. I’m at a place where i feel i can start posting these again 🥰 i hope you all enjoy!
⥋ Chapter 03: soup
Masterlist
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Before you even open your eyes, you feel the pain.
But then other things begin to sink into you, as your body slowly pulls out of the darkness it had been stuck in.
The pain in your ribs echoes out, a constant underlying throb made worse by certain unassuming movements. The rest of your body felt highly sprung, dotted with pockets of ache. Your limbs felt like lead, as if they weren't part of you. You were laying down on something softer than you'd slept on for... well, for too long.
There was movement nearby.
Your eyes fly open, ready to come face to face with a growling nightmare-
Only to be met with one of the prettiest faces you had ever seen, peering from just inches above you.
"Hi-"
"Get away from me!" You scream, scrabbling to sit up.
The stranger takes a step back with his hands in the air, flicking his dark brown hair out of his face. You sit bolt upright, the pain in your ribs so severe that a sob rises from your chest. Tears spring to your eyes, but you can't stop, shuffling to a sitting position.
"Look, I'm not gonna hurt you-"
"Where am I?" You yell, looking around for your weapon, for items, anything.
You're in a tent, that much is obvious. It's big, a pasty blue that had evidently been weathered through a lot. Dated-looking medical equipment was set up on a rickety camping table surrounded by a few random bags, the raised camping bed you were on was softened by a sleeping bag and blankets. It could have been cosy if you weren’t completely terrified.
But your things weren't here. And he was closer to the door than you were - you would never beat him to it.
"You're safe-"
"Like hell I am!"
He sighs harshly, concern darting across his face. His hands stay raised, and though he stands at a distance, you know he could be on you in an instant. Your eyes latch onto one of the syringe packets that sit neatly in the bag, before hastily looking back at him.
You could probably reach it and open the packet before he could get to you. It's not much of a weapon but it might just bide you enough time-
He follows your line of sight, and when he realises your thought process, his jaw drops.
"I'm just trying to help, you psycho!"
"How do I know that? I woke up in a strange place with a weird dude looming over me with a bunch of medical things next to him! What am I supposed to think?!" Your voice reaches new heights, pricked with pain from how rapidly you're breathing.
"Look, lady, I was trying to help you. But calling this face weird is the last straw-"
"What the fuck is going on?"
Taehyung throws himself into the tent, face a storm as he stares between you. You feel the prickles in your body subside, an inkling of safety trickling into your veins. The man opposite you visibly sags too, relief evident on his features.
"Nice person you bring back for help, Tae. Why don't you bring an axe-wielding madman next time? Oh, how about a plain old zombie too? That'll be fun." He snarks, crossing his arms, lips pulling into an angry pout.
"Stop whining, Jin. You'll get wrinkles."
The man opposite you - Jin - scoffs, but he lets the scowl drop from his face.
"Uh, Taehyung? What happened, where am I?" Your voice cracks, the adrenaline pulsing through you finally fading from your system. You begin to feel heavy, the weight of your aching body threatening to drag you back to the bed.
"You passed out, do you remember?" his voice is low, his intense gaze turning on you. You hold your ground under his heavy look and shrug. A crackle of pain his you at the movement, making you hiss.
"I remember... bits. The undead, pain... milk?" You offer weakly. Jin snorts, dragging your attention back to him.
"Oh, we have you to thank for that? He's been complaining about washing white chunks off his truck for hours now. I thought he'd finally given in and made a move on it-"
"Jin, don't finish that sentence, or I will shoot you." Taeyhyung snaps, curls of his dark hair falling in front of his eyes.
"Can someone just please... tell me what happened to me?" You asked, your voice small.
"Okay, but sit back down. Your body is already under enough stress." Jin's voice is soft, and despite yourself, you follow his instructions. He reaches out to try and help ease you down but thinks again, letting you take care of it. You're somewhat grateful.
"After you passed out I had to carry you back to my truck. It was a couple of hours drive here, then Jin helped me carry you into his tent. He took a quick look at you - just to check if you needed something serious or bitten - and we put you to rest. You've been out for about fifteen hours."
"Fifteen hours?!" You gasp, The action making you groan with pain.
"Your body really needed the time to start healing. By the looks of things, you may have a broken rib, or just some severely bruised some. I wanted to do a proper diagnosis when you were awake and consenting."
You're floored by his words, but the gratitude flows through you.
"Th-thank you."
"No worries. Tae's been keeping an eye on you ever since. He only went to try and sleep about an hour ago."
Casting your eyes back to Taehyung, you could see it, the tiredness. His black jeans and tee were rumpled, his hair at the back of his head poking in obscure angles. His eyes were a little puffy and barely focused, despite their intensity. Guilt settles in your gut as you look at him.
"You were watching over me?" You ask voice quiet.
He looks away from you, hiding his face from your gaze. Instead he faces Jin, shoulders held squarely as he addresses him.
"You have everything you need to treat her injuries?"
"Yes, there's only so much I can do." Jin sighs, a gentle nod offered. Taehyung then turns to you, forehead creased.
"Are you happy to be here alone with Jin whilst he looks you over?" His voice is harsh, but you understand the kindness below it.
You revel in his words. If he was happy to trust him, and assuming so did Namjoon, then you shouldn't need to worry. At least, you hoped so. Taehyung had not let you down so far.
"I'll be okay." You say, offering him a small smile.
"I'm gonna sleep." He turns, lifting the flap of the tent and stepping out.
"Thank you... Taehyung." You call out, voice dry. He falters in his step a little, only turning half back, frown visible even from his side. He nods his head stiffly before he continues to walk away.
You watch his shadow retreat, eyes lingering on the tent lining. It was a weird feeling, having someone looking out for you. You hadn't met a considerate person in so long, it was uncomfortably foreign. Even if that ‘considerate’ person was as prickly as Taehyung.
"Now that square is gone, you can tell me all about what happened to you. Spare no detail! and if you're comfortable, I’d like to take a proper look at your ribs.”
The next thirty minutes fly by. Your memories trickle back in as you talked Jin's ear off about how you met Namjoon and Taehyung, right up to the minute where you passed out in the grass. Jin doesn't interrupt, merely adding small sounds to encourage you to keep going. It was strange - you hadn't talked that much in months. Many many months.
All the while he proded at your ribs, delicate warm fingertips pressing into the bruised skin. You found yourself holding your breath when it was particularly agonizing, but he was as gentle as he could be and for that you were thankful. Once he was happy he moved onto the cuts on your face, carefully moving to clean the wounds. He even had to stitch one - with your full permission, of course.
As you finish talking, Jin moved to sit on the rickety table, big eyes taking you in. You smile awkwardly, embarrassment seeping under your skin.
"You've been through a lot."
"Could say that, yeah."
"Well it sounds like you were going to survive, even if you hadn't found our Tae. That much I know."
You let his kind words fill your chest. There was something so warming about him, something that made you feel completely at ease in his presence. It damn near choked you, remembering what humanity could be.
"Thanks, Jin."
"So, would you like my diagnosis?" You nod at his words, bracing yourself.
"Luckily for you, I don't think it's broken. I think you've seriously bruised two ribs to the near-point of breakage but unfortunately, without proper x-ray equipment, I can't say for sure."
"What should I do?"
"There's not a lot to do with rib injuries. Just a lot of careful movements, sleeping upright and if I can find anything cold, cool compresses. We just have to let you get better with time."
"Oh... oh. Well, thanks Doc."
"Ah, I'm not actually a full doctor. I was in my final year of medical school when all of this... happened." he sighs, gesturing around the tent.
"Well, you know much more than I do. So thank you." You smile softly.
His smile beams across his face, fingers idly fiddling with the hem of his tatty tee. You feel a yawn coming, and you can do nothing to stifle it as you're consumed by the rush of tiredness it brings. The intake of breath hurts and you groan, but Jin rushes forward and takes you by the shoulder.
"Don't fight it. It's better if you roll with it. And don't hold back coughs either."
"Aye aye." you mutter dumbly, letting him guide you back into a reclined sitting position. He laughs, his hands gently patting your shoulder as he steps back.
"Now it's best if you stay as upright as possible, but you should sleep. Want me to stick around?"
"I'll be okay - wait, this is your tent!" You try to sit up, remembering Taehyung’s words. He darts back forward and eases you back down, a pout forming on his lips.
"You don't have a tent and you need to sleep. I can sit in Tae and Jimin's for now."
"Jimin?" You ask.
"One of our group. He's been out on a run with two others... they should have been back a week ago." He avoids your pitiful eyes, lip pulled between his teeth as his eyes zone out at the tent door. The hurt you knew he was feeling was something you could never forget.
"Oh... I'm sorry, Jin." What else could you say?
"I'm hopeful... you have to be, right? Namjoon's gone to search for them, been out since yesterday morning. With any luck they'll be here any minute now."
You can't find the words to ease the agony on his face. You know that feeling all too well. It's why you don't stay with groups any more. You couldn't be in the position they were in ever again - your heart wouldn't be able to take it.
"Anyway, enough of that. Get some sleep, let your body heal. If I can find anything to put on for a cold compress are you happy for me to do it when you're asleep?”
You nod, sleep already pulling at your edges. He smiles at you before moving to the open medical bag and rooting through.
"Take these if you wake up, okay? Should help with the pain. Sleep well."
"Thank you, Jin. I'm sorry... about when I woke up." You wince a little, but it disappears quickly as you sag against the bed.
"Don't be silly - as long as you don't stab my face in the future we'll be fine." He offers with a wink, before slipping out of the tent. You slip into a dreamless sleep before he had even pulled the zip completely shut.
----
The sky was dark when you finally awoke.
You must have slept solidly for at least another seven hours, given how dark it was. Your body was stiff from how you had been half laying/half sitting, your mouth dry.
You scoop up the painkillers and water, haphazardly popping them in your mouth and swallowing. You grit at the pain, but make yourself finish the bottle. A now-lukewarm roll of damp bandages slips from under your shirt, the spot it slips from somewhat refreshingly cold. A small smile slides onto your face despite the ache.
In more time than you want to admit, you shuffle to the edge of the camp bed and struggle to your feet. You slowly shuffle to unzip the tent, side-stepping through the gap to finally take in your surroundings.
The cold night air fills your lungs, the rustle of trees surrounding you. The sky was impossibly black, stars dotted so brightly all you could do was stare in awe.
"Nothing quite like it is there?"
You spin to find the source of the voice. Jin sits in a camping chair just ahead of the tents, steaming cup in his hand as he beams at you.
Shuffling close, you realise Taehyung is sat on the chair next to him. He watches you approach, eyes examining you, paying particular attention to your ribs as if he could see the injury inside.his eyes then slip to your face, tracing along the cuts that freckle you, a frown crossing his face. You stop before them, a cautious smile on your face.
"I forget the sky can look like that." You offer, letting your eyes drift up again.
With the lack of light pollution, the galaxy seemed endless, stretching far above you. It wasn't often that you could stop what you were doing and look up, but when you do you seemed to find a piece of yourself. No matter how tumultuous the day was, the night was constant.
"Do you want something hot to eat? We've not got much in the way of excitement but it's better than nothing." Jin offers, and you snap your eyes away from the sky to look between the two men, both their attention firmly on you.
You finally breathe deeply enough to catch a whiff of something good. Really good. It smelled savoury, soupy and thick - better than the horrid prunes that you knew lay waiting in your backpack somewhere.
"Oh, no I couldn't. It's your food."
"As your doctor, I'm prescribing you a hot meal." Jin raises an eyebrow at you, challenging you.
"I have some food in my bag, I can trade for it." You offer, the prospect of hot food making your mouth water.
"Don't worry about it. It'd be a crime to not share my skills with anyone who can appreciate them." Jin smiles, moving to dish you out something from the bubbling pot on the tiny stove in front of him.
"Are you sure-"
"Just take the food, Y/N." Taehyung snaps. You turn to him, eyebrows furrowed as you stare down at him. He rips his dark eyes from you and staunchly avoids Jin's angry gaze.
“You what?” you mumble, annoyance bubbling under your skin.
"I'm going to bed." He grumbles, getting to his feet and stalking off into the tent behind him.
"Rude." Jin yells, gesturing for you to sit in the now empty chair. "Whatever. Y/N, slowly use the arms to lever yourself down."
Once you were seated, Jin holds out a tin canteen to you, the smoke visibly rolling out into the night. You let out a squawk as you take the food from him, grin growing on your face.
“Thank you.” You sigh, letting the Taehyung-sourced irritation leave you as the warmth from the canteen flows into your fingers.
"I haven't eaten a hot meal in... a long long time." You finish abruptly, silencing yourself by putting a spoonful of food in your mouth.
A loud guttural moan falls from your lips before you can stop it, your eyes growing wide at the noise as you look over to Jin. He laughs, and you can hear Taehyung clear his throat awkwardly in the tent behind you.
"Sorry." You murmur, mouth full of food.
"No no, I appreciate the positive feedback." Jin laughs. "So did Tae, apparently."
"So... uh, how long have you guys been camped here?" You ask swiftly, burying yourself in the food to hide the heat that bursts across your face. Jin’s grin still beams, but mercifully he takes the bait.
"We've been here... I don't know, it's hard to keep track any more. Probably a month?"
"And you feel safe here?" You ask, slowing down how fast you shovel food into your mouth. It was like a stew, thick and homely, and it made you want to cry. You wouldn’t, but damn was the motivation strong.
"Safe enough. Namjooon’s got a few defences lined up, and we're a strong team. It’s as good as it's gonna get."
You nod, spooning another bite in your mouth as you cast your eyes around you. Trees about fifty feet away circle the area which was probably once a small camping ground. A small dirt track leads to where they're camped; four tents in a semi-circle with Taehyung's truck sitting just off from the track.
Their set-up was good. No doubt they’d planned it to be that way. Jin mentioned some security measures Namjoon had set up and you couldn’t help the flush of jealousy that you felt. The reliance upon other people…
And the rest of their group. You were going to meet them eventually, right? The thought made you falter. The three you had met so far had been okay. But what about the rest of their group? You’d be deathly outnumbered.
"What about you? Do you have anywhere that you're heading?" Jin asks, sipping his cooling cup.
"Oh, I... no. I don't have a plan. Just... surviving." You shrug, but your voice is almost lost.
"I get that. It's not like you can have much of a five-year plan nowadays. Day to day is hard enough." Jin smiles sadly, letting his eyes drift over to the tent behind you.
"No. But don't worry, I'll be out of your hair soon." You sigh, regretfully spooning up the last of your food.
"What do you mean?"
"I'll be on my way as soon as I can."
"Why? I thought you were here to stay!" Jin chokes, sitting closer to you.
"I don't want to step on your toes. And I don't know of being with a group is such a good idea, for me. I do better alone." You tried to put strength in your voice, to find some semblance of resolve. But all you felt was fear and uncertainty. It creeps up whenever it can.
"Well... I'm sorry to hear that. It would've been nice to have some decent company." He sighs, propping his head on his hand as he looks at you.
"You'll survive, I'm sure." you laugh, despite the sadness that pits in your stomach.
A part of you wants to stay. Of course, this was a taste of something you'd not had in a while. People, a sense of community, hot food. It was enough to melt your brain.
But people meant feelings, ties. Those hold you down, get you killed. And though there's not much to live for, you weren't going to hurt others after you turn.
"Well, at least stay with us until you're fully healed. That's an order."
Jin pouts at you, forehead creased. You can't help but laugh, warmth at the sensation flooding you. You could probably indulge his request. For a little while, at least. And the prospect of getting to heal and not worry each second of the day… it was an overwhelming relief.
"I can't disobey a direct order, can I? But Jin... thank you.”
"No worries. Besides, it'll be nice to have someone aside from these assholes to talk to."
"Ah, yeah, the rest of your group." You look over your shoulder, eyeing the tent as if you can see Taehyung.
In some deep recess of your mind, maybe you thought that Taehyung would soften up to you. He did haul your unconscious body into his truck and keep watch over you. But his distrust for you was obvious, and it left a sour taste in your mouth.
"Pay him no mind. He just doesn't want to lose anyone. It's hard in this world to get attached to people." Jin’s voice is low, his head cocked to the side. You turn to him and chew the inside of your cheek, processing his words.
"Trust me, I know. But I'm not the enemy here." you sigh, moving awkwardly to hand back the canteen.
"I know. He's not a total ass, but he definitely has his moments." Jin jumps up out of the chair when he sees you struggling and takes the canteen from your hands. You flash him a grateful smile and sit back in the chair.
How long had it been since you had just… sat and existed?
“Is there anything I can do to earn my keep?”
“Like what? You’re injured.” He raises an eyebrow at you, and you feel a slight tinge of embarrassment flush through you.
“Nothing strenuous, then. But do you want me to keep watch or something?” You ask, head slightly stooped as you wait for his response.
You couldn’t let your guard down. As soon as you get comfortable and stop looking over your shoulder for a minute, you’ll be out on your own again. Vulnerable and easy prey. Besides, you couldn’t just accept their hospitality and do nothing. Everything had a price in this new world. And you’d rather pay your way than anyone else’s.
“Ah, that’s kind of you. But it’s okay. I’m going to wait up for the others.” His drop is subtle, but it’s there. He blinks heavily as he looks out into the night, the treetops swaying lightly in the breeze.
You breathe in the night air, the sound of the wind rustling against the side of the tents. For the first time in a long time, you soak it in. you had barely realised your eyes had closed before they were fluttering open again.
“I’d better keep you company then.” You smile, turning your eyes back to him.
“That would be nice.” Jin’s quiet voice cracked, and he cleared his throat uncomfortably. “I don’t think it’ll be many hours until daylight. Hopefully.”
So there you sat. The hours dwindled as Jin talked. Occasionally you’d manage to eek in an answer or offer a counterpoint, but it was nice to be just talked at. From seeing the way you’d clam up, he avoided questions about your past and for that you were grateful. And you were careful to not probe about his group. He choked up each time you came close, the worry practically dripping from him.
The conversational tapdance stretched until the early glimmer of morning, a comfortable avoidance between you both. The night sky was just giving way to light, the glint of the stars disappearing as the faint hues of days begin to bleed in.
“... And that’s how I met Namjoon.”
“Wow. How has he managed to survive this long?” You laugh, wincing as the reverberations send pain shooting through your ribs.
“Oh, careful. Sorry, I shouldn’t be this funny. It’s causing you pain.”
“I don’t know about that.” you laugh, moving your hand to settle on your ribs.
“I can’t help being an incredible entertainer-”
“That’s definitely not it!” You cry out, but a smile slips onto your face. It felt good to laugh again - even if it was at your own expense.
“I think the pain’s getting to your head-”
He’s cut off by a rattling, causing him to pounce from the camping chair. You whip your head around searching for the source of the noise, only to find a tin can rattling like a bell. It was suspended in the air by a makeshift stand, with three other cans hanging beside it. Each had a string that lay flat to the ground and ran out of sight - but the ringing can was pulled taught.
The ringing suddenly drops off, and with the silence comes the dread that slides down your spine. You could piece together well enough what was happening but the confusion still cut through your senses.
“Perimeter!”
Taehyung throws himself out of the tent, shotgun clutched tightly in his hands. He looked like he hadn't slept at all, with dark bags under his eyes and the crumpled clothes of a restless night. His eyes skirt over you and Jin, before settling on the cans.
“Undead?”
“Not sure.” Jin dives into the doorway of a nearby tent and stumbles out with an axe nestled tightly in his palms.
You struggle to your feet, your heart lodged in your throat.
You weren’t prepared for the undead. One they could handle. But with if there was more? A whole horde of them? You barely had the strength to stand yourself up, let alone fight for your life once more.
Taehyung and Jin were already moving forwards, heading to the dirt track. You realise you were stood stiff, watching them approach possible danger. If there was a storm coming, you were going to have to weather it alone. You needed to find a way to protect yourself, most importantly your hockey stick.
You had barely taken a step when a beam of light flashed through the trees, a faint rumble of an engine following it. Then another set of headlights tightly behind. Your stomach flips. What scenario were you about to be thrown into? You were an outsider, you had to be prepared. It may not be the undead pulling up in trucks but uncertainty certainly rolled with them.
Taehyung sags, letting the shotgun drop to hang loosely by his side. He staggers on the spot before bolting forward, powering towards where they ascend the gravel path. The vehicles drew closer and closer, each foot closer increasing the nausea that threatened to consume you.
“Tae wait-“ Jin yells, eyes wide as he watches the vehicles approach. He seems to recognise them as he gasps, a quiver forming on his chin.
“It’s them!”
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Text
Should… | Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Emma Masters) | Chapter 2 | … I Tell Him?
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Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Emma Masters
Summary: Five years ago, Emma Masters just landed her first big acting gig on a soap opera. While it is not much, it is an opportunity to grow. While out celebrating, she meets up with a fellow actor, Tom Hiddleston. While she doesn’t recognize any of his work, the two hit it off. Before they know, they are getting hot and heavy in the elevator up to Tom’s room. Like ships passing in the night, the two never manage to meet again.Now five years later, Emma is a heavy hitter in the prime time drama world and Tom is a Golden Globe winning movie star. Their paths cross again but things have changed. Will they do what they should or fall to their deepest desires?
This Chapter:  Emma never expected to run in Tom again, but yet here he is in the same restaurant, five years later. Will he spill the beans on that one night and what will become of the sparks between the two of them!
Warnings: smut, vaginal sex, fingering, drunk sex, oral sex, cheating, unhealthly relationships
-
“It is not that funny, Thomas,” Emma chuckled, digging her nails into Tom’s arm.
Tom took an empty seat at Emma’s table and Corrinne leaned in closer to Tom. Even though Corrinne worked as a publicist, she still swooned over celebrities—good-looking male celebrities. Tom fit that bill to a T. Tom squeezed your arm back.
“Well, maybe I exaggerate.”
“Come on you two, spill.” Corrinne urged on.
“I happened to be in New York when I partook of the hotel bar. Em and I ended up sharing a table.”
“I just won the part of on All My Heart and celebrated with a few drinks. Tom and I ended up talking for the rest of the night.”
Corrinne’s eyebrows arched up; she wanted more and Emma refused to cooperate.
“Although, she didn’t know who I was.” Tom added, giving Emma a playful punch in the shoulder. Emma blushed. Not her proudest moment.
“Emma! How did you not recognize him?” Corrinne said, aghast.
“I wasn’t into superhero movies five years ago! Sue me!”
Tom chuckled. “It was quite alright.”
“And?” Corrinne asked, wanting the rest of the story.
“And…” Tom continued, “we exchanged numbers with plans to meet again in three weeks when I returned to New York, but this one stood me up.”
Tom nudged Emma in the shoulder. Emma blushed. Thank God for Tom’s discretion. The gossip magazines would have a field day.
“I did not! We mutually cancelled!” Emma protested.
“Ah, no. I made plans, and you cancelled by text. Something about rehearsals. I assume someone got scared.”
Tom wiggled his eyebrows at Emma. Corrinne leaned back in her chair and looked at the two of them. Tom and Emma laughed at some unheard joke and Corrinne laughed along.
“But enough about the past,” Corrinne interjected, “What brings you to L.A., Tom? I thought you lived in London.”
“True. I am here for work.” Tom chattered on nervously, “I have some screen tests, auditions, and what not for an upcoming project.”
“I would assume a big movie star didn’t audition anymore.”
“Stories of my fame are exaggerated I am afraid. The auditions are for the leading lady in the project. You understand, Emma.”
Emma nodded.
“Yeah. I hate those chemistry tests. All those eyes on you.” Emma scrunched up her nose. She didn’t have Tom’s star power, so auditions took up a significant chunk of her time when she didn’t have filming.
“And what about Em? I thought you lived in New York?” Tom asked.
“Uh, I moved out here about two years ago. My series films out here.” Emma responded. She would never tell him but she followed his career and life in the papers over the years; she hoped Tom did the same, but his comment dashed her hopes.
“Oh, your series? Isn’t the show called something like Silver Surfer or Silver Fox?” Tom quipped, twisting his face into mock contemplation.
Tom lied. After that encounter in New York, he spent the following years keeping tabs on Emma’s career; the two Daytime Emmys for her role on All My Heart, Silver Sable, all of her accolades and successes.
“Silver Sable.”
“Right! And what kind of TV show is it? An action show of some sort?” Tom commented, relentless in getting the response he wanted.
“It’s a superhero show.” Emma muttered.
“I was under the impression you didn’t like superheroes?”
Corrinne chuckled at the banter. These two baited each other left and right.
“I’ve changed.” Emma snapped back, a smile on her face.
“So it seems.” Tom’s eyes raked over Emma’s body and she blushed once again.
Corrinne choked on her drink.
“But enough about me. What is—” Tom started before a gentleman tapped on his shoulder.
“Sorry to interrupt. Tom, we need you back at our table.” he said.
Tom rose from the chair.
“So sorry, Luke. I will be right back.”
Emma sighed in relief. With Tom leaving, her secret remained safe. Tom started off back towards his table but he spun on his heel, pulling his phone from his coat pocket.
“Before I leave, Em.” Emma popped her head up to look at him, “I need your number, the old one doesn’t work.”
Emma didn’t expect him to still know her old number. When her fame rose and her personal number somehow made its way into her fans’ hands, she changed numbers.
“Of course, Tom!” Emma rattled off her personal cell as Tom punched the digits into his cell.
“Perfect.” Tom leaned down and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. His lips still soft like Emma remembered. “I will call and we must do lunch!”
Tom jogged off before Emma responded. After a few minutes, Corrinne cleared her throat. Emma turned and narrowed her eyes at her friend. “Spill it.”
“So… there is more to this. Care to share?”
“No comment.”
“Fair enough. So he seems nice.”
Emma blushed.
“And sexy as fuck.”
“Corrinne!” Emma spat.
“What? That man is sex in a suit. So when are you going to tell him?”
“When I’m ready.” Emma mumbled as she returned her attention to her salad.
-
Tom texted her once so she would have his number too, but Emma guessed she wouldn’t run into Tom again for some time. It wasn’t as though the two of them ran in the same circles. Their only professional link was their portrayal of Marvel characters. She hustled through the next few days in a bit of a fog. She never expected to run into him again. And she didn’t expect all those feelings and emotions to rear their ugly head.
“Earth, Emma!” Mary, her assistant, yelled.
Emma jolted in her seat.
“Ahh!” Emma waving her arms about catching herself before she fell on her face. “Yes, Mary.”
Mary suppressed a giggle.
“Okay. you have auditions all afternoon. The first one is in an hour and across town.”
Emma groaned. Some days she regretted living in Brentwood. She enjoyed the space and privacy but hated that it meant driving for hours in Los Angeles traffic. Emma, a native New Yorker, never developed the taste for sitting in traffic for hours to go 30 miles.
“Fine. I will leave in fifteen minutes.” Emma rose from her chair to go get ready. “And since I will be gone for the rest of the day forward the calls to your cell and take off around 3.”
Mary’s face lit up.
“Thanks, boss! Don’t forget the last audition is at 4 and a chemistry test, so bring a change of clothes.”
Emma took off to her bedroom and took a quick shower. Fixing her hair into a simple ponytail, she applied a light amount of makeup and dug through her closet. She settled on some simple jeans and a nice top and packed a body-conscious dress along with some heels and a small bag of makeup for her last audition. Twenty minutes later, Emma took off in her car.
As predicted, Emma sat in traffic for an inordinate amount of time and made it to the studio with no time to spare. The audition process still bothered Emma. Although Emma’s career was well established in television, her agent hoped to use her success as Silver Sable to push Emma into film roles. That meant auditioning. Six months in and no one took the bait. Perhaps she should stick to TV.
The first audition was for a period drama. Emma could smell the Oscar bait a mile away. Based on the reaction Emma got when she walked into the room, she did not fit the role at all. The whole ordeal took ten painful minutes. Emma repeated the process two more times with varying degrees of success.
Once she reached her final audition, she ducked into the bathroom to change. Emma already went through several auditions for the part in a new romantic comedy. Now she came in for a chemistry test, the part she hated. Chemistry tests made Emma feel like an object, not a person. But these types of auditions were the cost of doing business.
Emma shimmied out of her jeans and slipped into the dress. The neckline was lower than her usual outfits but whatever. She pulled her hair down from the ponytail, letting it fall around her shoulders and retouched her makeup and added some extra mascara and blush. Emma examined herself in the mirror.
“Here goes nothing,” she said to no one in particular.
Emma walked back out into the hallway and took a seat with three other actresses. They all looked about five years younger than Emma, with their boobs cinched up to their chin and hems flirting with indecent exposure. Emma grew disheartened. All these other girls looked like they stepped out of the pages of a magazine, Playboy to be specific. Emma’s aesthetic was more akin to In Style. She looked over the lines as they called one of the other girls into the room. She could feel the butterflies; no matter how many times she did this, Emma always got butterflies.
After about 15 minutes, they called her in. She straightened out her dress as she walked into the room.
“And you will be reading with our male lead…” the PA explained as Emma looked up from the lines to see Tom standing in the room.
“Tom Hiddleston.” Emma finished.
Tom smiled.
“In the flesh, Emma.” Tom extended his hand, Emma shook it in a daze.
What the fuck is happening? kept repeating in Emma’s head, a mantra. She took a few deep breaths. She realized the people in the room were still talking.
“… so I will be kissing you in this scene.” Tom’s voice punctured through Emma’s mental haze.
She nodded, and the scene began as they took their places.
“Do you mind?” Emma started as she pushed past Tom.
“Do you mind? This is my room and my bed. You are a guest.” Tom countered.
“Really, that’s not what you called me last night.” Emma smirked as she moved closer to Tom, his blue eyes glittering in the lights.
“Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart. You’re not my type.”
“Oh, you mean dumb, blonde, and young. Then you would be right!”
“If there was any other choice here, I would gladly take it.” Tom moved in closer, his nostrils flared.
“Keep to your side of the bed tonight. Your snoring kept me up.” Emma huffed out the line, her breath puffing into Tom’s face.
“Touch me with your cold feet one more time and see what happens.” Tom sneered as he leaned into her space. The tension ran high.
“You and what army?!” Emma barked as Tom pulled her into a kiss. She pushed at his arms but he held firm. She relented and melted into the kiss. The memories of that night flooded back to her. They parted and turned to look at the six other people in the room. For once, everyone looked Emma and Tom rather than staring at their phones or drinking their coffee.
“Uh… We’ll be in touch.” one of the men said.
Tom shook her hand again, and she walked out of the room. Emma got about halfway down the hallway when a voice rang out.
“WAIT!”
Emma stopped and turned to see the PA from earlier.
“Wait. Can you come with me?”
Emma blinked but followed the petite girl to another room. This one was empty, save a couple chairs and a couch.
“Just wait here, please.” the assistant asked as she gestured towards the couch.
Emma plopped down and kicked her heels off. She pulled her phone and started replying to emails. Twenty minutes passed and then forty-five minutes. After an hour and fifteen minutes, the PA returned and took Emma back into the same room. She expected to see the same group of people as before, no one remained. Except for Tom.
“What’s going on?”
Tom looked at the floor, avoiding eye contact and pushing a nonexistent piece of lint with his shoe.
“I was hoping you would accompany me to dinner?”
“Is that why I have been sitting in a room for over an hour?”
Emma’s face turned red. Tom’s face fell.
“In part. The casting directors wanted to bring you for another reading after everyone else finished, but I insisted it wasn’t necessary.”
Emma’s eyes widened.
“Are you saying I got the part?”
Tom smiled.
“Unofficially, yes. But wait for your agent to give you the news in a few days. Try to act surprised.”
Emma squeed out loud and did a little dance. Without considering the situation, she jumped up and kissed Tom on the lips. He blushed at the sudden contact.
“Does that mean yes to dinner?”
Emma nodded, not realizing what she agreed to until they pulled up to the restaurant.
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lixiefe · 4 years
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Can’t Touch - k.sm
Chapter Fifteen: It All Solves With You
Words: 1.9k
Warning: ..none.
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You were hurt- as much as you didn’t want to admit. It felt like the past teenage depression stage, where you’d weep over things you weren’t supposed to, and overthink yourself to sleep. You believed that you’d taken it a bit more seriously, but no matter how many theories you made yourself believe, you couldn’t ignore the pinching hurt every time your husband came to your mind.
So you decided that you needed a small break. The best place to relieve some stress was the embrace of your mother with her heavenly tea by the side-table, and the comforts of your baggy old clothes. It was exactly what you needed and exactly what you’d wanted. Even the thought of such luxury was tempting.
I mean, what was luxury even?
So that’s what you’d done, snuggling into your mother and procrastinating. No university, no nothing, since it was the weekend and you’d taken a sick leave from your jobs. But what you’d not done was, notifying your worrying husband, intentionally.
The hurt from yesterday turned into a mocking vengeance and all you wanted was for your husband to suffer. You wanted him to regret spewing such words to you, and regret it terribly. You wanted to go buzzfeed unsolved on him for as long as possible. So, you didn’t let him know your location at all. You didn’t want to see him, after all that he’d said.
But you wouldn’t think that if you’d knew what his condition would be after a single day.
After finally gaining the mental and physical courage to kiss you of his own accord, finding no trace of you the second day was devastating for Seungmin. Willingly touching you seemed like an unmatchable success, beyond any accomplishment which even his recent cause of fame couldn’t top. But suddenly, you were gone.
The first thing that occurred to his mind was his formidable mistake of the previous day. He’d repeated all those horrendous words he said to you over and over to himself and continued to bitterly beat himself up for it. But that didn’t help. He’d tried to think about all the possibilities of your absence, positive ones. Maybe you went out with your friends, or maybe you were busy for something- you could do anything. But no. He waited further past your usual bedtime drowning himself in worry and rehearsing his many apologies for the hundredth time. But who was he going to apologize to? You didn’t return.
As the next day came, Seungmin woke up just before sunrise and jolted out of the living room in categorical hurry, earnestly hoping that he’d find you in your room all snuggled up and far into deep slumber. But you weren’t there. Guilt tripped him like chains dragging at his inordinate limbs, constraining him until he was on the very verge of breakdown.
He couldn’t eat or rest, all that he pondered about was you and your unknown whereabouts. He’d had a hunch that you were in your own home; where else could you go? Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to fetch you back- if you were there, he couldn’t face you with the guilt trapping him.
You must not want to see him.
Later that day, even Han didn’t need to strain his stupid guesses to know Seungmin was distressed for you. The first thing Seungmin heard from his shorter friend was, “What did you do?” with hard eyes and serious charade. It was all it took for Seungmin to break out of his rather thin façade and splutter in broken sentences; apologies. But what could Han do? He wasn’t the one who deserved the tousled apologies. It was his wife, who he couldn’t reach. And after a worthwhile, Han saw his friend indirectly begging him. Seungmin wanted his wife back- as soon as possible, only to see her and convey his apologies, after that she could go back to her mother. At least he’d know.
But now he didn’t know. And for all he knew, you could get kidnapped, abducted; considering his fame. All the other negative possibilities crowded his brain, and he found himself unable to sleep that night. The clutches of insomnia and his overthinking trait restricted him any potential peace. But he didn’t really mind the torture- he’d thought he deserved it after all those he’d said.
God, he was emotionally dying.
To think something like this will affect him so much, was the last of his thoughts.
Han had kept a regular contact with you after the day you disappeared. He knew you were relaxing in your cozy home, munching onto sebaceous Doritos as you re-watched your favorite drama series. He could go and tell his friend that you were more than fine and had automatically forgiven his impulsive actions. But you forbade him, very strictly. However, Jisung being himself needed double warnings from you to confirm his plans of doable betrayal, which came almost two days later. Jisung vaguely told his friend that you were, indeed, in your own home and staying fine enough. He also remembered to plead you to come back, so that both he and your husband could have some peace.
“Why should I?” you asked through the cellphone.
“You can take a break but please don’t be too long.” Jisung replied, tone desperate in contrast to his joking nature. Something was up- that you knew. Maybe he was worried about Seungmin. But didn’t your husband say he didn’t care?
“Did Seungmin put you up to this?” you asked, a sudden bit of guilt sparking in the midst of your quick words. You’d thought he wouldn’t really notice your absence- since he didn’t care, but you meant enough for Jisung to be asking you back. It touched you, somehow, that your husband was worried for you.
He probably did care.
“He did and he didn’t. Trust me when I say this Y/N, he’s been awful. He’s mentally vulnerable, you know. He spent thirty minutes saying how he fucked up and how guilty he felt. He thinks he deserved all that pain. I’m worried, Y/N”
It was unexpected for you. Even though Seungmin was his own brutal critic, you’d never have thought that he’d have destructive mindset. It wasn’t right, awful wasn’t right. Suddenly, you were the one feeling remorse for your reckless decisions. It was a slip of tongue, right? There was a fat chance he’d not meant most of it, if not anything at all.
You mean, he was the perfect husband. 
And the next day, you were back.
Except, nobody knew that. 
Seungmin was just stepping onto the carpets of his penthouse with blood-shot droopy eyes and faltering steps. He’d drunk very little water since morning and his aching head was undeniably getting to him. His skin looked paler and his hair wasn’t as nicely organized as it usually was, so was his tie. He didn’t even see you as he got in, sluggishly dropping his bag on the floor. Then, he rested his head on the surface of the door, hand reaching up to tug at his hair to sooth the pain of his head.
The sight broke your heart.
Although his poor condition was caused by lack of nutrition and water, it was partly your fault too. It wouldn’t have led to this if you didn’t take hasty and vengeful decisions, if you had just confronted him like a civil woman- if you told him you forgave him.
“Seungmin-ssi?”
Seungmin’s head snapped up, quickly turning around to face you, eyes widening in astonishment. 
I missed you, but did you miss me?
He felt relief absorb the restless feeling of his heart, in depth. You were finally here, right in front of his eyes. All he wanted to do at the moment was to wrap his arms around you and hold you so tight until you couldn’t breathe. He wanted to whisper apologies into your ear, thread his hands through your hair and kiss the side of your neck.
He rushed towards you in impulsive nerves, attempting to pull you into his chest; but halted abruptly the next second. He couldn’t do this, after all. Even if he managed to kiss your forehead in your sleep, it felt so much complex to touch- embrace you in awaken state. The mere paranoia of it pulled him back.
It was visible how the situational expectations of your face turned into disappointment for a split second. But you didn’t let it show for long. Without further ado, you stepped closer to him, hands hovering far above his cheeks as you eyed his face with concern painted on your face. He found himself sighing in relief as he met your shiny eyes and furrowed brows.
“Oh my god. Seungmin, what happened to you?” You asked, looking into his eyes. But Seungmin wasn’t there, he was focused on your bright face and melodious voice that he was already in his own little universe. Your voice was  relieving, very pleasant to hear; it washed away all the tensions, all the remaining conflicts. You yelled his name again, jolting him aback into ongoing phase of reality.
“Oh, I.. uh..” Seungmin stuttered, trying to think of any excuses that could justify for himself. “I didn’t really drink much due to work stress.” He decided upon telling the truth, half-truth. It was clear that it wan’t just that, there was more to it, more to him. But he didn’t want to burden you into thinking you were the one at fault while it was him. It had been him. The worry-lines of your face faded away at his answer, but the frown remained.
“You look very famished. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Seungmin wanted to tell you that there was no pain when you were here. All of his stress dissipated into thin air as soon as he saw your set of shimmering eyes in the lights of the living room. He was okay, as long as you were here. But he could only manage a little nod and an assuring smile for you.
“I cooked for you. Please freshen up and come here, okay?” you asked, worry dripping on your every pronunciation. Your husband nodded, giving you a convincing prim smile. Seungmin’s stomach fluttered with that funny, jittery feeling, again. Both at your smile and your blithe eyes. and another commence of a strange anticipation in his heart, restless to spend quality time with you. After almost a week.
“Just-” he began and you stopped yourself from heading to the kitchen. “I wanted to say that I am extremely sorry for saying what I did. It wasn’t me...who was speaking. Will you forgive me?”
You chuckled at him, teeth showing in your wide smile. “I forgave you long ago. I overreacted, I am sorry.” You said, running away to the kitchen right after.
To say Seungmin was relieved of his heavy guilt, was an absolute understatement. He was suddenly so happy and beaming with all the energy of the world. After many days, he was again eating with you, invested into your little conversations and your cheerful smile. He was smiling with his eyes crinkled and deep chuckle resonating through the house. The scrumptious smell of fresh cooked food, hearty laughter and your jovial presence was what brought him back to life.
It all suddenly solved with you.
And again that night, he dared to place a quick kiss on your forehead- this time slightly moist- as he took in your beauty that he so missed. He couldn’t help the small smile that seemed to be glued to his lips, never-wavering and never-lessening. Seungmin knew the funny feeling; knew that he felt a lot more than just care. And he caressed your cheeks for longer than he’d wanted.
‘Just this once’ he thought.
During the night, the navy hue of the skies and the crickets of the bushes knew just how long your husband stayed by your side. And he looked at the fading moon far up in the sky. Etheral, he’d say; so calm with its undeceiving sincerity. It was foolish that he realizes now that the moon is so so beautiful.
My love,
All I want is to be your moon
And show you all the little stars of my heart.
That surrounded your presence and worshipped you
For you were greatest beauty they’d seen.
{Instead of saying the words ‘I love you’ itself, Soseki Natsume said that the moon was beautiful}
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