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#only respect to mr zombie man
throwaway-yandere · 10 months
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The Owner Who Broke The Leash (Yandere!Kamisato Ayato/Reader)
a/n: this is a chainsaw man au but I tried writing it so that you don't need to be an anime/manga reader (suffer with me.) I'm not 100% following the source material, so Beidou and Kazuha are platonic & no mother-child themes the orig has people debate over. I won't be explaining the latter to those who did not understand lmao. (Y/n)'s 20 years old. This is just a yandere fic, relax hehe. also, huge shoutout to @navxry for beta reading, their insights were helpfull!!! and also shoutout because honestly nothing is more fulfulling like seeing a live commentary of roasting the yanderes and for some reason, my husband too sorry dain-
cw: yandere themes and degrading nicknames ("dog"), and dont read while eating ig?
unreliable synopsis: "Thank you, Mr. Kamisato," (Y/n) mumbled. "It's just... I'm still pretty pissed by what happened. I had an absolute shit first kiss–"
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Kamisato Ayato questioned whether he had a heart in his head because, on occasion, it beats louder than the one cradled by his ribs. Or perhaps he's just grown incredibly susceptible to human emotions– or in this scenario: "headaches." Then again, in a world where 7 out of every 20 Inazuman citizens are killed by Devils in a concerningly short duration, is it really surprising that Ayato would experience such distress?
The Public Safety Devil Hunters have often questioned their limits throughout the years. Many of them have hardened themselves into pawns who seek glorified kinds of justice and retribution with the limited and declining manpower they have. As a result, they needed people like Kamisato Ayato, a mystifying man who presented himself as a gregarious yet reticent individual regarded either with respect or distaste. 
Only a few people have gone insane, which he and the captain of Division 4, Dainsleif, considered to be regrettable. They both had a strong conviction that complete sanity was inappropriate for a devil hunter. The rational and sensible are not in demand in this profession. Only those who have lost their sense of humanity can remain alive with their limbs intact. Many disputed Dainsleif's claims, questioning how could they be true. And to this, he answered:
"What does sanity truly mean when demanded of you by a Devil?"
Unfortunately, not many people understood the significance of that puzzling question, and even if they did, they rejected this way of thinking. Losing one's sanity is equivalent to losing what kept many alive–
And then…
There's (Y/n).
"Holy shiiiiiit!!!" (Y/n) spat out with their mouth full as they gouged the poor leftover traces of udon from the bowl, fully savoring what drops can be salvaged. They tilted their wrist and licked the remaining noodles, which made Mr. Kamisato's associates raise an eyebrow. Their unbrushed hair would sometimes cover their eyes, making them appear more monstrous and feral.
That was enough to know that in an instant, (Y/n) was endowed with a life that was blessed— at least, in physiological matters.
Despite their disheveled clothes and messy hair, anyone would've mistaken them for a somewhat functional human being. Ayato was quite pleased to dress them up after finding them bloodied and dazed. Not that the zombie devil was ever considered a formidable foe, but seeing the Chainsaw Devil in action is enough grounds for fascination, yes?
The Chainsaw Devil… What name does his "family" go by nowadays? What does the "Fixer of Hell" do around this era?
And why did he form a contract with this… mess of a human being? Why did the Chainsaw Devil agree to become this person's heart replacement?
Why didn't the devil let them perish?
Kamisato Ayato has been dying to know–
"Is this what you devil hunters eat every day?" (Y/n) gawked at him, who was snapped back to reality by their childlike antics. "Seems pretty fucking worth it to me. Those jackasses must be ripping me off if I did the same work for less than, what, two eighty percent? I don't know jack-shit about math, though. Unless it's about calculating debt."
"Is that right?"
When (Y/n) eliminated the Zombie Devil, the public safety officer was able to locate the "dog" in person. Fortunately, he just so happened to know that there was a devil in the vicinity and saw (Y/n) covered in blood. Surely, finding out that the Chainsaw Devil became (Y/n)'s heart via a contract was a mere coincidence in Mr. Kamisato's perspective. He's a cunning being, but not omnipotent, yes?
"Duh," their nose scrunched. "Gotta pay my dead dad's debt somehow. The sins of the Father are the sins of the... I forgot the rest of the line."
"Hmm."
To say (Y/n) is the… most entertaining person is the understatement of the decade. They exude none of the dignity of an ordinary civilian when bringing up their lack of rudimentary mathematical abilities and literary knowledge. Like a child who was isolated in their room for so long, (Y/n) was the type of clumsily put-together person you wouldn't expect to pique Ayato's interest. 
Yet here he is, answering them with something far from a business smile.
Ayato was entertained by their awkwardly talkative behavior and flushed cheeks.
(Y/n) has a crush on him. He's certain.
He can make use of that.
"We take care of our workers, yes," Ayato smoothly replied. His gaze did not falter away from the more-than-exploited hybrid. Hidden behind his stare was an obsession he had yet to add a label to. There's a strangely human urge for him to wipe the stray noodle off their chin.
They failed to see his soft gaze and continued to mindlessly ask nonsensical questions.
"P-Peanut butter and jelly too?"
"If they so desired it. I do not see why they cannot afford to buy some with their paycheck."
"Woah."
They looked incredibly amazed, if not, pathetically deprived. It made Ayato even more curious– just what life was this poor dog living if they craved incredibly simple joys?
And… peanut butter? Was that ever considered peak luxury? What a miserable life. Dead mother, murdered father– and a poor heart condition to match. He'll never consider their living conditions humane.
"Dog," Ayato thought to himself. "Positively a dog."
So faithful. So easily handled. 
Just as the Public Safety Devil Hunter had hoped for.
Humans are strange creatures and even more challenging to please. Ayato noticed that people attract others when they're unfortunate yet not far enough where they're "beyond saving". Balancing that fine line is a hindrance. Humans strive for authenticity but retreat when it causes discomfort— running away from the empty or broken bits that reflect their innermost selfish beliefs. These people will probe for trauma and unfavorable emotions to relate to, but won't exert control to change or challenge the speaker. 
They want a "palatable" story– a "marketable" person.
Kamisato Ayato didn't enjoy how hypocritical humanity is. Perhaps that's why he connected with (Y/n) instantaneously. 
Because (Y/n) was no longer human.
They're a devil-human hybrid. There's nothing for (Y/n) to mask, and most importantly, they're so damn easy to please.
Ayato glanced at his wristwatch. 
It's nearly time for tea with his fellow commissioners.
He closed his eyes and sighed softly. There was no latent vitriolic expression on his face, but that did not mean Ayato cared for his colleagues deeply.
They're all dogs in his eyes.
"Let us depart, (Y/n)."
And (Y/n) might be the best one yet.
Mr. Kamisato stood up and ruffled their hair.
"Come. Be a good dog and perhaps I'll spoil you with as many treats as you desire."
—-------------------
"Holy shit…" (Y/n) muttered to themselves.
"Today, I'm going to experience my first kiss ever…"
"Oh, a kiss you say?"
"M-Mister Kamisato?!"
It's been a while since Mr. Kamisato saw (Y/n), and they exude a brighter aura than before.
He's not pretentious enough to say (Y/n) had grown so much since he last saw them. There are qualities to them (he wouldn't say redeemable) that Ayato was certain weren't there in the past. After assigning them as Kaedehara Kazuha's subordinate and roommate, (Y/n) rehabilitated to the norms of public safety devil hunters. There were some setbacks, including the time they refused to kill a devil because they were naive enough to consider them as friends. But here they were, inside a busy restaurant after a month of dispatching (Y/n) to their new job– new life.
And won't you look at that?
Ayato's gaze softened as it sank in how much his influence had changed them over the months.
They… look radiant, don't they?
(Y/n) stood up, shocked that the refined public safety officer would be joining them. No one told them that he was invited. The rest of Division 4 followed suit, extending their pleasantries to their superior. The only exception was Beidou, who spoke nothing as she continued chugging her beer. Ayato greeted them and gracefully slipped away from his black cloak and placed it on the chair.
They remained standing until Ayato reached out and ruffled their hair.
"Sit."
And so they did.
Mr. Kamisato's grin widened.
"Good dog." He said.
Good dog…?
For a moment, the world was on mute for Mr. Kamisato.
And in that personal silence, he pondered to himself:
Why does he care so much about a dog?
It matters not since they will always remain a dog in his eyes. The day he stops calling them a dog and treating them as one is the day he'll forget about the "Fixer of Hell."
"(Y/n)..."
Ayato turned to look at the woman who moaned.
Beidou was one of his favorite dog's new coworkers alongside Kazuha, Kaveh, Al Haitham, the blood-fiend Arataki "Numero Uno" Itto, and the rest. Unlike the aforementioned four, Beidou often regarded Ayato as a "manipulative bastard" while her long-time partner, Kazuha, felt that there is a certain level of melancholy about him that they repeatedly failed to comprehend. Kazuha had a better sense of the world than his dear old eye-patched friend, but even he finds Ayato unpredictable.
Ayato doesn't mind her hostility and their wariness, not when they took great care of his pet on their latest mission. 
Yet, he's holding back a glare.
"(Y/nnnnnn)..."
He doesn't appreciate the way her hand repeatedly traveled down his dog's thigh.
"H-Hey, you're d-drunk–" (Y/n) kept "discreetly" glancing at Ayato, worried. "Q-Quit it! Y-You're making me uncomfortable, man–"
"Shhhhh!" Beidou hushed in a low and seductive tone. 
"Just wait, (Y/n), I give better kisses when I'm far from sober."
Ayato's eye twitched.
How intriguing.
"W-WH-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!–"
"Your reward for killing the Eternity Devil, you scallywag~" She hiccupped, red-faced. "Kiss, with tongue, re-mem-ber?"
Mr. Kamisato closed his eyes, clenching his fists beneath the table as his colleagues drank and ate to their hearts' content. She's drunk. She'll likely regret those words tomorrow.
For a moment, he wished he could drown himself in Kaveh's talks about wearing his father's hand-me-downs or staying in Public Safety for the paycheck. Or maybe hone in on how Itto kept adding zeros to his IQ when asked. 
But his whole being was focused on this peculiar conversation.
Suppose a lonesome dog will latch on to any attention it will get.
"K-Kiss…" (Y/n) squeaked.
Don't be so overjoyed.
Ayato desperately wanted to say.
Can't you tell that between the two of us, it's me who you would choose in a heartbeat?
"Who's kissing who now?" Ayato raised his hand, calling for the waiter while staring at the morally conflicted (Y/n). "A glass, please."
(Y/n) paused, not looking at both Ayato and Beidou. They were deep in thought, assessing the situation as though it was their most life-threatening moment. 
Good.
They perked up again, somewhat sweating.
"U-Uh, Mr. Kamisato! H-Have you heard? I found an important metal-piece thing and grabbed it!"
Ayato no longer held back a defeated sigh and clenched his fists under the table.
… Disappointing. 
So they have chosen to ignore his confrontation instead of turning down Beidou's advances. Shame. Ayato's face contorted, but no one noticed his dismay other than Kaveh, who did not know what to make of it at the time.
"Yes, I have, and what fine news it was indeed. Excellent work. Oh, to have been a fly in the wall..."
Seeing as that "piques" his interest, Kazuha leaned his elbows on the table.
"While we're on the topic, Mister Kamisato…" 
Kazuha proceeded to add more to the subject, calmly stating all the information and inferences the group had acquired after the last mission. The "metal-piece" thing (Y/n) found was a portion of the Gun Devil, and Kazuha blabbered about how it appeared that (Y/n) had been targeted by many devils.
"–somehow (Y/n) is at the crux of everything. You know something that we do not, right Mister Kamisato?"
It's only natural for Kazuha to act this way. (Y/n) had no formal training yet fought the Eternity Devil for three days without rest. They had even utilized the Chainsaw Devil's ("Thoma" was its new name) power to torture them nonstop. Devils regenerate by drinking blood so they grained the Eternity devil regularly, yelling and taunting it like a maniac. So in Kazuha's conclusion, (Y/n) was not only stranger than they suppose; they are stranger than they can suppose.
Division 4's and Ayato's main objective is to hunt this "Gun Devil", but there's no need to mind such trifles. At least Makoto is dead. That's one battle won.
Ayato gazed at Kazuha, then his drink.
"What an interesting notion. How about a game?" Ayato placed a finger on his lip. "What do they call this… was it called hot pot? Hmm… No matter." 
"The mechanics of the game is to outdrink your opponent," Ayato smiled. "Will you accept this duel?"
As if on time, Beidou placed her empty glass down, making Kazuha just a bit more confident to take the risk. Kazuha nodded.
"Excuse me! Two sakes, please!"
Beidou, who would've normally banned Kazuha from drinking because of his height and not his adult age, yelled on top of her tops.
"HE-HE-HEYYY!!! MAKE IT THREEEE!!! I'LL PLAY THE DAMN GAME TOO!!!"
"MORE SASHIMI!!! THERE BETTER NOT BE A BEAN MIXED IN THERE!!!" Itto demanded soon after.
"I-I'd take a plate of sweet potatoes and cheese, please!" Kaveh humbly requested, fixing his red hairclips.
"HEY WAIT, ME TOO!!! MORE TEMPURA TOO!!!" (Y/n) followed, causing Al Haitham to cover his ears. 
Ayato smirked, drinking his mug. He already knows how this will end.
—--------------
Just a few drinks in, Kazuha proved his humanity by slowly fluttering his eyes to sleep.
Both Kazuha and Beidou failed to defeat Ayato in his game, albeit the latter wasn't trying their best. The others lost focus on the match when they knew Ayato had secured victory the moment he gave the mechanics. It's hopeless. Even a newbie such as the salt-and-pepper haired man knew it was a battle whose result had long been decided. 
"Excuse me, sir," Ayato smiled, smug. "May I have another drink, please?"
Mr. Kamisato retrieved his umpteenth beer, eager to take a sip but as soon as he had it in his hands, that woman chimed in again. 
She kissed them.
"... Goodness," Ayato muttered emptily.
That bold woman kissed what's his.
Ayato shook his head slightly, drinking his glass with a malicious glint in his eyes. As that woman aggressively thrust her tongue inside (Y/n)'s mouth, his dog shook, peering over the unimpressed Mr. Kamisato. He made it known to them that he was not pleased by this front-row display of "affection", but (Y/n) made little effort to stop it. He heard her moan and scrutinized the way she yanked their collar to deepen the "kiss", closing all distance between them.
He could've sworn the mug cracked a bit so he loosened his hold. Mr. Kamisato had felt another "headache" settling in as he watched that filth violate his pet with perverse pleasure. He snarled quietly.
What a low-quality "treat".
"Is this what you call a reward?" Ayato muttered. 
She must taste horrible. 
His (Y/n) must feel horrible.
Surely they wouldn't enjoy being taken by another person? 
Yet they're melting in her arms. 
Ayato scoffed.
What an unpleasant sight.
He felt... unsettled and restless.
Suddenly, they pulled away. Ayato was almost impressed (relieved) until he saw the reason behind (Y/n)'s distress. That kiss was disgusting, and everyone at that table will reasonably agree on that after seeing what had happened to (Y/n).
"HAHAHAHAHA!" The blood fiend laughed heartily. "IT'S IN THEIR MOUTH!!! IT'S IN THEIR MOUTH!!!"
That disgusting acidic liquid…
Itto elbowed Al Haitham beside him.
"AND YA BOYS KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ANYTHING NUTRITIOUS GETS INSIDE (Y/N)'S MOUTH?!?"
Mr. Kamisato stood up and immediately pulled (Y/n) away from Beidou, pampering their lips with tissues and scrubbing the remains of that wench. His eyes sharpened as (Y/n) leaned into his touch, trembling while grabbing his white dress shirt. Ayato ignored how he would've normally felt a twinge of disgust over the stains they left on his clothes and gently cradled them; his focus now aimed at Beidou– disregarding how the other members laughed or visibly shivered at the sight.
… it's puke.
"THEY SWALLOW IT!!!"
Ayato's eyelids lowered as he heard (Y/n) gulped Beidou's vomit involuntarily, cringing while sobbing– gagging. Itto's laughter drowns out any sounds of concern. (Y/n) hands flew to their throat, clawing to spit everything out as the others watched. 
Is this… what people call "headaches"?
How dare she.
She dared not only steal his dog's first kiss but also dared to vomit inside them. Beidou had publicly disrespected what was under his control.
His eyes were emptier than before.
Unacceptable.
He did not fail to notice the others in the room as well. Kazuha jolted up awake at the commotion and searched for a tissue immediately. Some watched out of morbid curiosity like Al Haitham, while there’s people who nervously laughed without knowing what to do like Kaveh, and the rest hollered with the blood fiend. 
The last category was filled with employees who had been in the department long enough to know Beidou’s antics. As one of them had told (Y/n) before the party started, Beidou had kissed nearly everyone in the room they’re in already when drunk. Couple that fact with how these colleagues have most of their sanity stripped away and live their lives unhinged, and you got yourself a group of people who no longer processes traumatic events as it is. To them, this is comedy.
The superior Public Safety Devil Hunter shifted his glare to them, effectively halting their laughter.
Mr. Kamisato will be keeping an eye on them.
He knows their names and their faces.
“Tch.”
Ayato roughly dabbed their mouth, cooing at his traumatized (Y/n) as the others looked out for Beidou. (Y/n)'s hands remained locked on their esophagus as if pushing out the last remaining toothpaste from the tube. Pitiable. And somehow, for ones with a sadistic inclination as he does, charming–
No.
Get it out.
Get it all out without hurting what's his.
Scrub every last trace of that woman out of them.
Mr. Kamisato let go of the tissue and brought his thumb against (Y/n)'s lips. Their breath hitched as his ministrations differed greatly from before. Instead of something so intense and near degrading, the way Ayato wiped the stains was warm. Intimate.
Yet Ayato's permanent polite smile betrayed his thoughts.
Blindfolds. Hands. Kneel. Blindfolds. Hands. Kneel.
Squish.
He closed his eyes.
Ayato did not care for whatever happens to Beidou next– she can get killed by a devil next week for all he cares– but he will not allow anything of this sort to occur ever again.
"Oh, my dearest (Y/n)," this time, he smiled not to seem normal but to comfort. And such a genuine gesture scared Ayato deep down. "Allow me to help you get it off your system, okay?"
Finally, their coworkers fully acknowledged (Y/n)'s plight. Kazuha was the first to lend his handkerchief, something Ayato made a mental note of. Kaveh turned around instead. The hairs in the blonde's arms certainly stood the straightest. In response, Al Haitham rolled his eyes over how squirmish his fellow recruit was.
"I have a grandmother who often vomits, perhaps–" 
Kaveh immediately cut off Al Haitham, "Wait, you're actually volunteering to help?"
He shrugged. "No, I was merely offering advice on how to–"
Ayato snapped.
"I'll take care of this. Alone."
Ayato's grip on (Y/n) tightened, pulling them close to his chest protectively. He can sense them eager to cough out the vile shoved down their throat but sweetly, he will not give a damn if they released all that in his chest. Ayato led their head on his shoulder. His hand ran through their scalp, soothing them.
Every decision Kamisato Ayato makes is final.
He needn't hear more of their so-called input.
They don't need you.
His (Y/n) does not need ANY of you.
Slowly, Ayato tilted the nauseous (Y/n)'s chin.
"You'll let me take control, won't you, love?"
They nodded, tears in the corner of their eyes. Charmingly weak. A reflection of their humanity. The humanity Ayato did not care about for so long.
"Good do–" Ayato stopped himself.
"Good," he chuckled. "Just good. Now, follow me to the restroom."
He didn't let (Y/n) interact with anyone else that night.
—----------
That incident occurred yesterday, and it was still fresh in their memory. 
(Y/n) had been especially gloomy as of late and had been ordered to never talk to Beidou until permitted by Mr. Kamisato. Instead of staying at Kazuha's apartment with Itto, Ayato made arrangements so that they'll have a room in his government-owned apartment. The man from then on refuses to let them out unless a mission requires them. It rattled (Y/n). In a sense, they were like a dog caged for a vase they did not break. 
Like most mistreated dogs, they whined silently. Which were sounds that never go unnoticed by caring owners. 
And all caring owners will prioritize their pets more than their phone ringing.
Ayato immediately muted his phone.
42 missed calls from Mr. Kaedehara, 36 from Ms. Beidou, and 11 from Kaveh.
He swiped their text notifications all away and faced it down on the table.
"(Y/n), my dear," Ayato began in a soft voice as he set down his boba tea and the take-out for tonight's meal. "Something troubles you. Though you may not wish to share at the moment, know that I am here for you should you ever need an ear."
(Y/n) looked up with gratitude in their eyes. Although they were not vocal about it like they usually are, they did not expect Mr. Kamisato to be perceptive and kind enough to acknowledge their demeanor.
"Thank you, Mr. Kamisato," (Y/n) mumbled. "It's just... I'm still pretty pissed by what happened. I had an absolute shit first kiss–"
They sobbed, voice cracking.
"–and even if I kiss a bunch of other women or guys in the future, I'll probably never get that taste of vomit off my mind, won't I?"
The room went quiet, and Ayato's shoulders dropped at their pitiful sounds.
He retrieved his cup of boba milk tea on the table again and silently placed it in front of (Y/n), aligning the straw in the direction of their lips.
"I understand," Ayato replied. "Sometimes, wounds of the heart take time to heal. But remember, there is a chance to create beautiful memories within every setback. Now open your mouth."
With a sigh, they took a sip of the boba milk tea, the taste of blueberry cheesecake tantalizing their tastebuds. (Y/n) relaxed, the tension in their body dissipating. However, as if urged to see their discomfort yet again out of perverse pleasure, Ayato spoke once more.
"You will likely never erase the taste of vomit in your mind for all eternity."
(Y/n)'s eyebrows furrowed.
"However," Ayato cupped their cheek, forcing them to share his gaze.
"Now that you will forever live with me, you will have the chance to taste a wide variety of new flavors to the point you will never have to recall that unpleasant taste again." 
As they savored the comforting flavor, Ayato's eyes twinkled mischievously, and a small smile tugged at his lips. He chuckled. 
"And I would like you to take notice, (Y/n)," he began playfully, "that this delightful boba tea we're sharing is the taste of your first indirect kiss."
Surprised, (Y/n) messily choked on their drink, spluttering the content in their white shirt as embarrassment colored their cheeks red. Ayato chuckled softly, reaching out to pat (Y/n)'s back gently as they recovered.
That adorable expression. It beats that of a dog.
Their blush is human.
(Y/n) is human.
As (Y/n) wiped the sweet taste on their lips, they couldn't help but feel a newfound sense of hope, knowing that Mr. Kamisato will be there for them. Their lingering disappointment remains, that much is certain, but it will disappear in time. (Y/n) drank until the cup was emptied. It was a symbol of Mr. Kamisato's promise to make the taste of puke a distant memory and that–
In the end, everything will be alright.
He likes them. He's certain.
(Y/n) can make use of him.
Give Mr. Kamisato a chance, dearest (Y/n).
He'll add Ms. Beidou's death to his list of things to check off in your next assignment. 
Not only that, of course. She won’t be the only one that’ll keep him busy. He has not forgotten the faces of those who laughed at you during your dilemma. 
Maybe once the officer reassigns them all to a more… enthralling location, he’ll get a more satisfactory answer to the question:
"What does sanity truly mean when demanded of you by a Devil?"
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aresianrepose · 1 year
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So like. Everyone typically agrees that like Michael Myers or Freddy Kruger or Mr. Voorhees dying are like good things to happen in their respective horror films right?
So tell me why Joker is any different? Michael only broke out of prison once (I think, I don't go here) and has only killed 98 people (excluding the Rob Zombie movies)? Those are rookie numbers compared to Joker.
We, the audience, are supposed to feel catharsis and joy when Jaime Lee Curtis like brutally murders him and then parades his body through town (and all of the people in town are like Hell Yeah this is morally correct because our town has been repeatedly victimized by this man) before tossing that crusty man through a human sized paper shredder. Additionally, this killing was necessary for the character to move on and heal from her past.
All I'm saying is that like, the people of that town experienced wayyy less horror than what Gothamites have gone through just from the Joker. And there is no "self-defense" against Joker, these poor people just have to hope a caped guy shows up in time to save their asses. And most of the time, there is already a heavy body count before that caped guy gets there and gives some speech about the sanctity of life or some shit.
This killing would similarly be healing for Jason. I agree with the other post floating around right now about how his healing journey would not be realizing killing is wrong or whatever the fuck.
In this essay, I will explain why Jason would be lauded as a hero and given a parade for killing Joker and the parade ending with Joker's corpse being thrown into a fucking wood chipper. As well as how even within the fictional context, the moral debate surrounding killing Joker is so fucking stupid if you think about it for longer than two seconds.
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pinkeoni · 6 months
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Will's Possession vs. Billy's Possession
Right now I'm starting a post about Will's s2 possession and how it relates to both Will and Mike, but first I wanted to side step and talk about Will's s2 possession in contrast to Billy's s3 possession, and what their differences highlights in terms of the story and presentation of gender and sexuality.
From the outset, Billy and Will's possession are different right from the jump. Both involve forced insertion, although for Will the Mind Flayer enters him from inside one of his true sight visions, while it's implied for Billy that the point of entry was from the flayed-rat-meat-monster that was underneath the ironworks. We don't see this for Billy, but we do see it visualized when Heather's parents are flayed.
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This difference suggests a higher sensitivity or openness to the supernatural that Will possesses but that Billy does not. Whether a natural ability or afflicted, Will's True Sight is unique to him. Unlike Vecna visions, Will is able to move about physically in both dimensions, whereas victims of Vecna visions/hallucinations stay solitary and are described as "spacing out" or are tranced completely. We also know that Will had to have been physically in the Upside Down in order for the Mind Flayer to enter him, as we don't see any Mind Flayer particles out on the field while Will is being attacked.
There isn't anything to suggest that Billy had any sensitivity to the supernatural before this, and I'm inclined to believe that his vision in the Upside Down is another vision from Vecna as he takes over his mind, rather than Billy being physically presently there.
A little bit about gender in horror
Typically in the supernatural horror genre, especially with occult stories, possession, sensitivity to the supernatural, and being a "portal" for the "devil" (the devil being the Mind Flayer/Vecna in a nonliteral sense) is gendered as female. The body of the possessed has presented an "opening" for which the masculine demonic force (the Mind Flayer was gendered as male even before the show revealed it to be an actual male) enters.
And yet, it’s not so simple as to say that both possessions are gendered feminine. And in fact, there are huge differences that help gender Will’s experience as more feminine and Billy’s experience as more masculine.
For one thing, the moment of entry is hardly a focus for Billy’s possession, and is suggested rather than shown. We see Billy being dragged down to the ironworks basement, but the show cuts away before we actually see the particles enter his body.
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Contrast this with Will’s possession, which I already showed above, where the moment of entry is not only visualized but emphasized.
The reaction to their respective possessions is gendered as well. The focus of Will’s possession becomes his emotional suffering, while Billy, either reacting to and/or succumbing to masculine force, acts out violently. Will cries and finds comfort in his mom, while Billy dreams about attacking Mrs. Wheeler (and then successfully attacks Heather and orhers).
And perhaps this is meant to be exemplary of each individual’s expression of gender. My post here lays out Will’s femininity, and Billy seems to represent an inverse of this— a paragon of masculinity that Will can’t relate to. Will is sensitive and soft and artistic in a way that the people shun him for, and Billy is sporty and aggressive and sexual in a way that the town rewards him for.
I talked before about how the town views Will in my Zombie Boy post and my longer analysis about sexuality in the show, although I think in the past I naïvely believed that after season one the town was neglecting to see Will’s feminine side, seeing only a predatory masculine side despite Will’s character not changing. But this isn’t the case. If anything, it’s the fact that Will is a feminine man that causes the town to see him as predatory in the first place and to be labeled as such.
And yet, when both in the position of possession, it is Will who remains pacifistic, holding out as long as he can (until the demadog attack at the lab, but even then, Will is more just the eyes for the Mind Flayer rather than being the one actually doing the attacking) and Billy is the one who succumbs and turns on the town.
When Billy is emasculated, either through his dad calling him a “faggot” or through possession, he leans into his machismo and lashes out violently. When Will is possessed or faces outward hatred from others, he responds by holding true to himself.
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fushic0re · 2 years
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─ 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍
𝙨𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙪𝙨 𝙗𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙭 𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙖𝙣!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧
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𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 — “WHAT’S YOUR NAME? WHO’S YOUR DADDY? IS HE RICH LIKE ME?” – in which sirius black becomes infatuated with the young auror who joined the rrder.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — 18+ ONLY; MINORS DNI. smut; unprotected penetrative sex. daddy kink. age gap relationship (reader’s age is not explicitly stated, but they are of age).
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if you enjoyed this piece, please, please, please reblog it! the writing community is slowly dying out due to tumblr’s algorithm being ineffective and reblogging our fics is our bread and butter. support fic writers! ♡
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THE FIRST TIME Sirius Black laid his eyes on you was the first day a woman had ever left the notorious womanizer speechless.
He remembered the sight perfectly. The Weasley children, Hermione Granger, and Harry Potter were cooped up in the foyer, grasping desperately for any source of entertainment. They found solace in the radio, flipping through stations until they found the perfect track to jam to. They rejoiced, Fred and George immediately reaching over and turning up the volume, earning them a scolding from Hermione.
“It’s too loud!” She hissed. “You’re going to get them in trouble.”
“Like some good ol’ psychedelic tunes are going to interrupt important Order business,” Ron mumbled, wincing at the glare the brunette shot him.
“Ronald Weasley, I swear to god—”
“Turn it up a little more, I can barely hear it!”
“You’re right bloody next to it, Gin!”
“Exactly, it’s so low I can hardly hear shi—”
The shadow of a womanly figure loomed over them. The teenagers froze like a deer in headlights, eyes wide and egos awaiting a scolding. Harry leaped for the radio and shut it off. However, their fear dissipated when they allowed their eyes to meet the figure in front of them. Immediately, they were stunned by her beauty. The second thing they were stunned by was the lack of angry expression. Instead, a playful smirk graced her features. She said nothing, only nodding to the radio before shutting the curtain that separated the foyer from the rest of the house.
"Turn that back on." The woman encouraged.
The teens shared a look with each other, processing the stranger’s words before their demeanors loosened once more. Ginny and Hermione giggled amongst each other, the boys joining in before turning the radio back on and adjusting the volume to a respectable level. The Zombies filled the room, prompting the woman to dance; swaying her hips to the music, her arms thrown in the air carelessly, eyes closed in ecstasy, and a gorgeous smile stretched across her dazzling features.
“I love this song,” You sighed, undulating your way across the room.
The sight was utterly bewitching. The older man swore you had snuck a drop of Amortentia in his wine. Maybe you had him under the imperious curse. But as he watched you, his gaze trailing from your shut eyes, cheekbones, lips, decolletage, and down your tantalizing figure as it oscillated in waves, it became glaringly obvious that the only spell he was under was yours.
“And who might you be?”
Your body responded to the velvety voice in a Pavlovian manner, spinning around without hesitation to face its source. Pupils dilated, lips parting, and heart quickening, you couldn’t believe who was stood in front of you looking devilishly handsome; Sirius Black himself.
“Mr. Black, I thought I’d run into you.”
You introduced yourself, reaching out for a handshake and praying that he couldn’t spot your hand shaking from anticipation.
He took your hand in his, opting to hold it rather than shake it.
“You’re the auror.” He pointed out, a glint of mischief disguised within his sculpted features.
“That would be me.” You affirmed, trying your best to hide the fact that you were instantly smitten. “Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Black.”
The raven haired man brought your hand up to his mouth before placing a slow, delicate kiss to the back of it, his slate eyes never looking away from yours.
“Sirius.” He purred. “And the pleasure is all mine.”
Harry was not oblivious to his god father’s advances. Sure, he was just a teenage boy with hardly any experience with girls, but he was still a male. He knew what it looked like when one of his kind was in the pursuit. It didn’t help that Remus had told him numerous stories of his god father’s womanizing ways back in their younger days. At first, he couldn’t possibly imagine Sirius even flirting with a woman. Afterall, he was his family, and you never think of family in that way. But now that he was witnessing it, Remus’ stories were no longer baseless. Sirius Orion Black the third still had the Midas touch.
Sirius tilted his head, eyeing you with curiosity and interest.
“I didn’t know aurors looked like this nowadays.” Sirius quipped. “If you were the one to arrest me, I would have gone willingly.”
You giggled at the jest, almost missing the way Harry scoffed at his god father’s methods of philandering.
“It’s not fair what happened to you. I’m sorry you had to go through that.” You lamented, not feeling right casually joking about the wasting of an innocent man’s life. “When this is all over, the first thing I’m doing is working on getting you a fair trial.”
The ebony haired man tutted, shaking his head and squeezing your hand gratefully.
“You’re too kind, darling. That bridge will be crossed once we get there.”
He let go of your hand and lightly placed it on the small of your back, leading you out of the foyer.
“For now, would you do so kindly as to oblige an old man with a drink?”
Your heart skipped several beats. Suddenly, you felt like a schoolgirl once mor, fawning over the man like a lost puppy.
“I-I’d love to,” You stumbled, your brain short circuiting at the simplest touch of his palm on your back.
Without as much as a glance back, the two of you were out of sight.
The teens’ eyes darted back and forth at each other, unable to process what had just played out before their eyes. A pregnant pause took place before Ginny Weasley broke the silence.
“I don’t blame him at all.”
From the master bedroom upstairs, Sirius Black vigorously thrusted away in between your shaky legs. The sight of you was pornographic; legs thrown over his shoulders, palms pressed against his naked tattooed chest, your face glistening with sweat, pretty mouth slack as whines and moans flowed from your body like a symphony. He cupped your face in between his hands, pressing his forehead to yours.
“Little fucking minx. Dancing around like that in my house.” Sirius panted. “Look at us. Look at how wet you are for me. How well you’re taking me.”
Sirius’ grip on your face tightened, directing your gaze downward. The sight of your cunt splayed open and his member glistening with your nectar each time Sirius pulled out of you partnered with a particularly hard thrust caused a loud cry to escape your lips. His hand flew to cover your mouth, ceasing the sound from traveling further. You turned your head, eyeing the nightstand where both of your wands rested. Swept up in the heat of the moment, neither of you had the opportunity to cast a quick Colloportus or a Muffliato. If you were being completely honest, neither of you cared. Secretly, you hoped someone heard you. Maybe not the kids, but the junior auror who was shadowing you who had been eyeing the master of the house unabashedly the moment you both stepped into the house. You hoped that, triflingly, she would learn her place.
“Quiet. I don’t think Moody would be impressed hearing his shiny new protégé getting fucked like a whore.” Sirius hissed, burying his face in the side of your neck and placing feverish kisses and love bites along your flesh.
He brought his mouth to your ear, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine.
“Say it.” He growled.
Another loud moan was drowned out by his hand. The older man above you began to fuck into you with increasing vigor, the sturdy bedframe now beginning to rock against the walls. Your back arched off of the bed, hands clawing at his shoulders for purchase. Your walls began to flutter around his cock, coaxing deep groans out of Sirius. The both of you clung to each other, sweaty torsos pressed tightly together, the friction stimulating your pebbled nipples. Your breath quickened until you were uncontrollably panting. Mewling was the only form of communication you were capable of.
“Aw, baby,” Sirius cooed condescendingly, pressing his lips against your dewy cheek. “I thought you had some bite to you, now you don’t have any bark left?”
His hands moved to grip your throat firmly.
“Say it.”
You turned your face to face him, noses touching and eyes locked.
“Daddy.”
In that very moment, Sirus Black lost all sense of humanity. His eyes darkened with unfiltered lust, jaw clenched tightly, and instantaneously, he began to quite literally pound you into his mattress. If they hadn’t heard what was going on already, the guests downstairs definitely could now. The clear sound of rhythmic slapping skin was too distinct to be mistaken for anything else. Especially by Molly and Arthur Weasley who had done it enough times to produce 7 children.
Your body began to convulse, hands tangling in Sirus’ raven curls.
“Fuck daddy, that feels so fucking g-good,” You gasped.
“I bet it does, pretty girl. This is how real men fuck.” Sirius chuckled deeply. “Now be a good little girl and soak daddy’s cock, can you do that for me?”
“Mhm,” You mumbled in a daze, eyes shut and seemingly unable to be opened as euphoria took over your entire existence; mind, body, and soul.
Sirius admired you from above. In all of his bachelorhood, he had never met anyone as beautiful and charismatic as you. Even on the darkest days he served in Azkaban, the days he spent fantasizing his dream woman, nothing his imagination could conjure up came even close to you.
And now, he had you in his bed.
He was inside you. Wrecking you. Taking down you, a force to be reckoned with, stroke by stroke. Sirius Black had one of the best aurors the ministry had to offer speechless. His ego was soaring.
“Sirius! Y/N!” Molly hollered from downstairs. “We’re starting!”
Your mouth opened to respond, but words couldn’t come out as your peak gained momentum and your entire brain shut off.
“I’m coming!” You gasped sharply, loudly. “I’m coming!”
The double meaning behind your words was the final nail on the coffin. Your velvety walls clenched down on his cock, juices flowing freely upon him. Your orgasm triggered Sirius’ and with a low and drawn out moan, he emptied his seed into you. He relished in you for a brief moment before gently pulling out, cock stirring as if it hadn’t just had its release at the sight of his cum dribbling out of your mound.
He quickly dressed, helping you into your skirt and heeled ankle boots once your bra and blouse were on.
“I’m sorry, love. I hate to end this abruptly, but they’re waiting on us.” Sirius apologized wholeheartedly, pressing a kiss to the back of your head and smoothing down your sex hair fondly.
“Where are my—”
Your sentence died as Sirius stuffed your panties into inner pocket of his blazer. He stared at your bare legs, a wide smirk on his face.
“Pay good attention at this meeting and you’ll get them back, little miss auror.”
With that, he turned on his heels and exited the room.
“Sorry about that, got to another spat with my mother’s portrait. Don’t know why I even keep that old bat…” You heard Sirius’ jovial voice announce as he walked down the stairs.
You waited a brief moment, allowing an appropriate amount of time to pass before following suit. You walked carefully, afraid that with any sudden movements, his spent would flow out of you all at once. With a deep breath, you entered the dining room.
“Good evening,” You greeted amicably, hoping you didn’t sound out of breath.
“Have a seat, lass.” Moody acknowledged. “Everyone, this is Y/N Y/L/N. One of the brightest. I trust her with my life.”
“Ah, it’s so nice to formally meet Alastor’s golden child!” Arthur joked, introducing himself with a warm handshake.
You made your way down the table until you reached the head, your breath getting caught in your throat at the sight of the man who had just fucked your brains out and sent you downstairs full of him sitting cool and unbothered.
“Y/N, Sirius Black.”
Your walls clenched and unclenched, your previous activities flashing through your mind. A small dribble of cum made its way down your bare thighs, making their way passed your skirt before you pressed your legs together in a panic.
“Please to meet you, Mr. Black.” You greeted.
He raised his glass to you, winking at you subtly. He had saw.
“The pleasure is all mine.”
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fooshigoomies · 2 years
Text
𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞
~𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨~
*𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨'𝐬 𝟑𝟎 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: intern! reader, senior! nanami (as in workplace),salary man nanami, fluff, overall SFW. written from both y/n's pov and also kento's pov.
"-" marks the dialogue between characters.
"*" marks internal dialogue.
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @cl3v-j
𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
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𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐈. 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧
- everyone, please welcome our new trainee, y/n y/l/n. she will be part of the finances department.
*wow, so many people. and they all look so put together too... i hope i can stand up to the competition.
warm smiles and waves welcomed you into the office as the boss gathered everyone's attention. today was your first day in a big, hot shot accountability company, your first big position yet, so, yes, you were so nervous that you almost tripped over your legs when your boss opened the door to greet you.
after a small meet and greet around the company, your boss, kenjiro, walked you up to an office booth at the corner of the room. it was painted into a matte black shade, with dark green details. alone in the booth, was sat a blonde man, wearing a plain white button up shirt and a dark blue tie. he was so concentrated on typing away at his computer that he didn't even notice you and your boss walking up to him.
- this is kento nanami. he will be your trainer in your probation period.
at the sound of kenjiro's voice, the man's head shot up, and you were met with a pair of stern brown, dark circled eyes. he looked so... pale and so... lifeless. live a zombie.
*he looks so overworked. is the company so hard on the employees here? but... he looks handsome even so. he looks like the type of coworker that doesn't even say good morning when walking into the office.
you gave a little awkward wave as your boss continued to talk.
- you will refer to him for any questions you have regarding the equipment, working policy and so on. visit me if you have further questions. my desk is the corner one! kenjiro gave you a bright, wide smile and a wink, then strutted towards other employees, leaving you alone with mr kento.
- here is a stack of paper work i prepared for you in advance. it should be fairly easy to get through considering your lack of experience. without hesitation, he stood up and put a pretty sturdy stack of papers on his desk.
-if you have any questions regarding your work, please don't hesitate to ask. the empty desk next to mine is yours, feel free to decorate how you wish and make yourself comfortable. the only condition is to keep our space clean. of course, i will make my part too.
-ah, thank you so much mr kento. what does the paperwork include? you asked as you grabbed the stack and set it on your desk, pulling your chair to sit down after you took off your jacket and put it on the back of the chair.
-you just have some client data input for today. i will give you the credentials to create your company account and the needed passwords. he stood up from his desk and pulled a small sheet of paper from his pocket, leaving it next to your keyboard.
*she seems a bit clueless so i'll have to closely supervise her if she wants to get the job.
he pushed his chair closer to yours, tho keeping a respectful distance. even from one meter away, you could feel his fresh cologne and the scent of fresh roasted coffee he held.
*keep it together! you have to focus on work, not boys!!!
you opened up your computer and followed up his exact instructions on how to create an account for the work website and how to access the programs you worked with.
-i have to head to a meeting now. please get started on your work and i will check it once i'm back. if you have any trouble along the way, skip over the part and continue working. kento said as he stood up from his desk and grabbed a clipboard he had sitting on the window sill.
-okay. thank you mr nanami. you nodded and turned back to your computer, already starting on your work.
by 6 pm you were done with your whole paperwork, and was already gathering your things to get started to go home, when mr kento came back from the meeting.
- i take it that you are done with your work? he asked as he walked towards your shared desk, a few files held in his hand.
-yes, i completed everything you had for me. didn't stumble across anything that I couldn't do, so i though it was time to go home. 6 pm is the time we are done with the shift, right?
-yes. i will have a look at your work tomorrow, for now let's wrap up for the day. his calm voice answered you, a small nod of his head following up.
he showed you how to log off from the data base and after you both cleaned up the desk and turned off the computers, you were ready to go home.
- i'll leave now. see you tomorrow mr kento! you said and gave him a smile and a wave as you grabbed your purse and walked towards the elevators.
- have a good evening. he sternly answered back, but you could see the smallest, most gentle smile on his face in the corner of your eye as you turned around to leave.
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a/n: i posted this accidentally. it's unfinished and was in my drafts. y'all want me to continue this?
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Rules (Re-vamped for new added fandoms, rules, prefrences, Master List, and Current Works)
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(Re-vamped for new added fandoms, rules, and prefrences)
“I never ask a man what his business is, for it never interests me. What I ask him about are his thoughts and dreams.”-Howard Philips Lovecraft
Hello I'm Mr. Cosmic, I am a Romantic Asexual Man (Not sex repulsed, I actually find the concept of sex and how deeply it is ingrained in humanity fascinating) my birthday is September 26th, My favorite food is Spaghetti and Garlic Bread (I know I know, Asexuals and garlic bread), my favorite drink is home made Mountain Tea, I love writing romantic and fluffy things but I also may right angst if I'm in the right mood, My favorite bands are Queens Of The Stone Age, Arctic Monkeys, Franz Ferdinand, Iron Maiden, Nujabes (RIP), Megadeth, Rob Zombie, and Foo Fighters, I hope we can all get along!
I take recommendations for shows to watch and add to the list of fandoms and music to listen to while I write (I am partial to fast paced songs, but I also enjoy slower ones)
I am also associated with the @favonius-library and @ecrin-de-litterature
ASKS ARE CLOSED!
ALL OF MY CURRENT WORKS
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Rules
I only write romance for female characters but I'm perfectly fine with writing platonic male relationships (There are a few exceptions but most of the time this is the rule of thumb to go by)
I write for G/N, Male, and Female readers
Like any other Tumblr I reserve the right to reject asks
Be Respectful.
Do Not Hate On People In The Comments!
No Homophobia, Transphobia, etc. etc.
If You Have A Question About A Post Ask In The Comments Of The Post please.
No Politics!
I prefer to write for Ladies but I will do guys once in a blue moon if they're a part of the ask.
Due to a recent attempt to write trans characters and the anxiety attack which affected my willingness to write I have made the decision to (For the moment this may change though it is unlikely) not write Trans character's there is nothing wrong with Trans People I just feel like I can't portray them properly.
IF ONE MORE GODDAMN FUCKING PORN BOT OR BLANK BLOG FOLLOWS ME I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I WILL GO ON A GODDAMN PURGE SO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CUSTOMIZE YOUR TUMBLR OR I MIGHT ACCIDENTALLY BAN HAMMER YOU!!!
FANDOMS
Genshin Impact
Honkai Star Rail
Reverse 1999
Bleach
Chainsaw man
Jujutsu Kaisen
Fate Grand Order and Fate in general
Danganropa
Persona 3
Persona 4
Persona 5
Guilty Gear
Blazblue
Skullgirls
Under Night In Birth
Street Fighter
Resident Evil
Final Fantasy
Fear & Hunger
Fear & Hunger: Termina
Hi-Fi Rush
Trails Of Cold Steel
Girls Front Line
That Time I Reincarnated As A Slime
Bloodborne
Elden Ring
(To Be Added)
What I Will Do
Character x Reader
All of the dere's (Yandere, Kudere, Tsundere, Goudere, Masodere, Sadodere etc. etc.)
Poly
Character x Multiple (Separate from Poly, NSFW only Ex. Free Use)
Platonic Relationships
NSFW (If You Want a Specific Kink You Have To Ask)
(More To Be Added)
What I Won’t Do
Underage
Non-Con (I might do CNC)
Kinks like Scat and Vore
NTR
(More To Be Added)
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This meme comes from Sparknote’s Twitter three years ago. It depicts Batman, who is labeled as Jane Austen, slapping Robin, who is labeled as “anyone named Richard”. I chose this meme because the very first thing I highlighted in Northanger Abbey was in Austen’s description of Catherine Morland’s father as, “a very respectable man, though his name was Richard.” On the topic of names, I don’t actually know why Jane Austen seems to think so ill of the name Richard, but based on my brief perusal of Google it seems like this is not the only time in her works that Austen names a character Richard and then proceeds to insult them. It may seem like a bit of a stretch to think that Austen is categorizing characters based on their name, but considering that two of the characters in her works described as being the most beautiful and accomplished are both named Jane (Jane Fairfax of Emma and Jane Bennet of Pride and Prejudice) it doesn’t seem too out of her realm. 
Besides Austen’s peculiar use of names lore, I wanted to use this meme and the quote it represents to discuss the kind of humor Austen employs. This sort of humor, the one-off lines/insults that she drops and moves on from quickly, is something that I’m really beginning to appreciate from Austen, especially after seeing her Juvenilia where it’s almost nothing but these quick quips. For example, in The Beautiful Cassandra, where Austen describes Cassandra eating pastries, refusing to pay for them, and knocking the cook down and then, in the next sentence, Cassandra just moves on to her next adventure of the day. Austen does something similar a few more times in the following chapters of Northanger Abbey, my favorite of which being in her description of Mrs. Allen, “whose society can raise no other emotion than surprise at there being any men in the world who could like them well enough to marry them.” This is such an, for lack of a better word, efficient insult. It’s brutal, straight to the point, and paints a vivid picture of her character without using many words. Then, she moves back into listing off characteristics as if she didn’t just tear down Mrs. Allen’s character in one sentence. I actually found Austen through Pride and Prejudice and Zombies which is an interesting perspective to come from because when I then read Pride and Prejudice I really felt the sort of undercurrent of violence/sharp wit after having seen the conversations played out as sword fights, so I have been aware of Austen’s sort of sharp wit and humor for a while. However, I do feel like it’s a bit more obvious in her Juvenilia and Northanger Abbey thus far than in some of her later works, so I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate it now.
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bethanydelleman · 11 months
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Asks about my OTPs
Pick your top 10 OTPs without reading the questions, then answer the questions after you've made your list (I will do my top 10 Austen OTPs)
Catherine Morland & Henry Tilney
Fanny Price & Henry Crawford
Elizabeth Bennet & Fitzwilliam Darcy
Harriet Smith & Robert Martin
Caroline Bingley & Sir Walter Elliot
Elinor Dashwood & Edward Ferrars
Marianne Dashwood & Colonel Brandon
Emma Woodhouse & Jane Fairfax
Eleanor Tilney & her laundry Viscount
Sir Walter & Himself
1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6? – When Edward comes to Barton and makes fun of Marianne's love of dead trees.
2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2? – Yes, my favourite is Fanny: A Mansfield Park Story by Amelia Marie Logan, and I've written severa, including one full length novel.
3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver? – Nope! Always my kids these days.
4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be? – This actually happens in FF quite a lot, people are always killing off Brandon early into the marriage and leaving Marianne with a baby. It makes me sad, let Brandon be happy! He's only 37 when they marry he probably has another 20 years at least! (Honestly, since Brandon has survived to his age, Marianne actually has a higher chance of passing away since she's the one making babies).
5. Why is 1 so important? – Because they are so uncomplicated and happy. Just two very cute people making a cute marriage and I would defend their ship to the ends of the earth.
6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship? – Um, it's a whole joke that Austen didn't reveal a new character because the new viscount made a laundry list that Catherine found. But I love Eleanor so much that I do seriously want her to be happy.
7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry? – Henry & Catherine, Harriet & Robert I think? I may be a bad judge of "chemistry".
8. Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond? – Elinor & Edward, I'm always surprised how sure they are of the other's love in spite of of all the obstacles.
9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom? - I honestly don't know at this point, I read Persuasion once as a teenager and I didn't like it but I LOVED Sir Walter. I've watched all the adaptations (including 1971) and I've read/listened to the book multiple times now.
10. Which ship has lasted the longest? – Sir Walter & himself obviously, that's been going strong for 54 years. I hope it continues until his death at 93. All the others are new pairings.
11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up? – The only Austen couple to break up and get back together is Anne & Wentworth, so zero for Elinor & Edward.
12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8? – Huh, Fanny & Henry or Emma & Jane? They both have a sickly member, which is not great for their odds... Emma is smart but often distracted which would be really bad but Jane is a devoted learner.... Henry would "improve" his estate with zombie moats... I'm voting for both Fanny and Emma don't make it and Henry Crawford & Jane Fairfax find their second true pairing together.
13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason? – Colonel Brandon is attempting to hide his regard out of respect for Marianne and that's why I love him so much.
14. Is 4 still together? – Yes, eating walnuts and petting "her" little cow. Man they are cute!
15. Is 10 canon? – Yep! Though a bunch of the others aren't
16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win? – I'm going to put my money on Colonel Brandon, who will do anything to save Marianne. He would be the Katniss and she is the Peeta.
17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship? – Yes, Mr. Elliot has been trying to prevent Sir Walter from marrying again so he can inherit the baronetcy. He almost succeeds!
18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond? –  Catherine Morland and Henry Tilney, they are the only couple I can't bring myself to break up in fan fiction.
19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page? – Um, none? I end up seeing Elizabeth & Darcy stuff no matter what, I have tags on the lesser known Austen characters.
20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink? – That is hard because these are my favourite, but I guess Emma can marry boring Knightley instead of having a torrid enemies-to-lovers affair with Jane Fairfax...
I'm not big on chain letters. Thank you @firawren for the tag, if anyone wants to try go ahead!
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bijouxcarys · 26 days
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♥ (Playlist) To Love So Completely ♥
Masterlist
Help! - The Beatles | What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted - Jimmy Ruffin | Baby Love - The Supremes | Baby I Need Your Loving - The Fourmost | Keep Searchin’ (We’ll Follow the Sun) - Del Shannon | Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood - The Animals | The Last Time - The Rolling Stones | Think About It - The Yardbirds | Stop! In The Name Of Love - The Supremes | Ev’rybody’s Gonna Be Happy - The Kinks | Bring It on Home to Me - The Animals | The Price of Love - The Everly Brothers | Mr. Tambourine Man - The Byrds | Leave A Little Love - Lulu | I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch) - Four Tops | Unchained Melody - The Righteous Brothers | Love Is Strange - The Everly Brothers | Little By Little - Dusty Springfield | Daydream - The Lovin’ Spoonful | Paint It, Black - The Rolling Stones | Summer in the City - The Lovin’ Spoonful | You Gave Me Somebody to Love - Manfred Mann | You Can’t Hurry Love - The Supremes | Good Vibrations - The Beach Boys | Mustang Sally - Wilson Pickett | I’m a Believer - The Monkees | Let’s Spend The Night Together - The Rolling Stones | Here Comes My Baby - The Tremeloes | Happy Together - The Turtles | Then I Kissed Her - The Beach Boys | Respect - Aretha Franklin | Light My Fire - The Doors | Big Spender - Shirley Bassey | Let’s Live For Today - The Grass Roots | Piece of My Heart - Janis Joplin | Crimson & Clover - Tommy James & The Shondells | Time of the Season - The Zombies | Hush - Deep Purple | Touch Me - The Doors | Midnight Confession - The Grass Roots | This Will Be Our Year - The Zombies | Dream A Little Dream Of Me - Cass Elliot | Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival | Here Comes The Sun - The Beatles | Sugar, Sugar - The Archies | Run For Your Life - The Beatles | Runaway - Del Shannon | You Don’t Own Me - Lesley Gore | I Only Want To Be With You - Dusty Springfield | Burning Love - Elvis Presley | Wishin’ And Hopin’ - Dusty Springfield | I Wonder Why - Dion & The Belmonts | Take Good Care Of My Baby - Bobby Vee | Daddy Rolling Stone - The Who | All Day and All of the Night - The Kinks | I Wanna Be Your Dog - The Stooges | Feeling Good - Nina Simone | Love Man - Otis Redding | Whole Lotta Love - Led Zeppelin | Sunshine Of Your Love - Cream | Knock on Wood - Eddie Floyd | I Want Candy - Brian Poole & The Tremeloes | Heartbreaker - Led Zeppelin | Ramble On - Led Zeppelin | Moby Dick - Led Zeppelin | Cry to Me - Solomon Burke | An Angel Cried - Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons
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tsuki-sennin · 1 year
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We've survived the highs and lows of Jyama Ball, but we're only a little bit closer to discovering who the Desaster is. If they go undiscovered to the final round, they win the game outright and get their ideal world. And with the mysterious executives, Keiwa, Neon, and Ace's respective sponsors, Archimedel, and Buffa all making their moves, something tells me the real game is only beginning.
...more importantly than any of that though, where the Hell are we headed now?! Why are there BOMBS everywhere? What do the Jyamato even have to gain from these constant invasions other than food and conquest?
All these questions and more... probably not answered today, but like, important to keep in mind.
Spoilers, I guess...
-Neooooon!
-Neon, baby, if you're the impostor I'm gonna cry.
-Good morning Chirami.
-Oh okay, we're supposed to become fan favorite. I see.
-Well, from what I've seen from the fandom as of yesterday, a number of folks have taken very kindly to Sae-san (rightfully so), so if this were the real world she'd probably win this. Doubly so if she's the Desaster.
-Oh shit! Sara-neesan!
-...oh, she's... she's fine, seemingly.
-Can't cut a pineapple smh.
-Bomb Pineapple!
-Ohhhh, we're dead.
-Jyamato Express!
-Fruit!
-Bombs!
-Fruit Bombs!
-Ooooooh, even more Jyamato ciphers.
-I imagine a lot of folks are hard at work.
-Blowing up an entire city block.
-I see Creepy Garden Daddy Archimedel's very proud of his little Freedom Clubbers.
-Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes!
-Damn, Takahashi's Steam list must be wilding.
-Secret Mission Clear!
-For you, fox man!
-Awwww, spider phone cute :)
-First Blood!
-The Gun!
-Magnum!
-It's back!
-Ringo?
-There's just something so funny to me about how minimal the Jyamato Pawn costumes are. Head, limbs, uniform, that's all you need.
-"OHHHHHH MY SISTER'S GETTING BOMBED"
-"Oh hey little bro, I got tied up. Can you do me a solid and get the kitchen knife?"
-Sae-san's very cool and collected under pressure. Can see why she was picked for this.
-Oh hey, Mrs. Kurama~! I'm still pissed you slapped my homegirl Neon, just so you're aware.
-"Neon's a big girl, she can handle herself. She'd never be able to achieve her dreams"
-Ohhhh, Papa Naoto. You're extremely sus.
-"Time to go to work. See you around."
-I see Mama Kurama's not an entirely heartless lunatic.
-You tell her, girl!
-I'm gonna be honest, I'd be proud of Neon if she were the Desaster.
-There's the Buffa Core ID.
-No doubt there's gonna be a lot of Zombie DNA in that mutant.
-Oh?
-Oh, hello.
-Sponsor-sama!
-So, she's got big plans for ol' Michinaga.
-Beroba...
-Ohhhhh, he's got an infection.
-"You wanna beat the shit outta all them dirty Kamen Riders, huh~? How about you let me pay for everything, no strings attached!"
-A proper sadist, this one!
-Takahashi's giving us a lot of interesting female characters this go around.
-Well, Beroba-san. You're obviously a cold-blooded murderer, you've got a killer fashion sense, your first appearance is accompanied by scary organ music, you're friends with Papa Archie, you got jelly beans...
-Yeah, you're totally trustworthy. I hear you're played by an idol?
-Sae-san... you care a hell of a lot about your family, huh?
-Oooooh, Okinawan.
-Keeping yourself in peak condition for your family. I happen to know a dude in a bathhouse who'd be very impressed with you, Sae-san.
-Neon...
-Who threw that bomb?
-"Did somebody say BOMB~!?"
-Gotta save Onee-sama!
-Ohhhh, sunset is fast approaching.
-I'm surprised we haven't seen lemons yet.
-At least, I don't think so, the picture quality I have ain't the best.
-Michinaga!
-Jurapira!
-Buffato!
-Oooooh, he's pissed!
-"Fuck the bull! Go get pineapples for our Hawaiian barbecue!"
-Can't get in!
-Ooooooh, Zombie Tycoon!
-Damn, Keiwa's playing hard!
-Red Wire.
-HOLY SHIT BUFFA DODGED POINT BLANK
-Goddamn, these stunts are sick every time I see 'em.
-OHHHHH MY DUDE JEAN GOT A GUN
-Okay I checked, it seems it's Gene, okay.
-Hello, Beroba-chan. Guess the dweebs are fighting.
-"I'm betting all my money on that buffalo guy."
-...seems that Gene's okay with this.
-OH GOD NEE-SAMA
-Red wire!
-Nut up man, do it!
-We did it!
-No more pineapple for ever.
-Sibling banter
-Oh man, it's dark out.
-Seems Michi's in no shape to kill anyone today.
-Compass!
-Snacc
-Well, gotta keep the sponsors happy.
-Oh, the producer's coming in.
-...wonder if this is a metaphor of some kind.
-Ah yep! Sae-san was the sussiest baka all along!
-Lone wolf Lopo played nice for so long.
-Oooooh, that's a Glare retool. ...I suppose Gazer's our new "coming in hot and spicy".
-I wonder if we're gonna see a new DGP higher-up come kick ass every new arc?
-...fuck, what if we have to beat up Mama Mitsume? I don't think poor Ace can handle it.
-Shit seems to be getting real now.
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sorry-i-panicked · 1 year
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hi! what are your sexuality headcanons? for byler and any other characters! :) feel free to go into depth if you'd like 💛
hi! sorry that this is 13 days late. I have no excuse.
you said "any other characters" but my oversharing mind says "ALL the characters" bc I want my opinion heard <3
Mike: gay acespec. he's just very repressed :(
Will: demiromantic gay asexual!!
El: nonbinary she/they lesbian asexual!! my beloved!! dating Max & queer platonic partners with Lucas!!
Max: polyamourous bisexual!! she's dating Lucas AND El!! Fuck societal norms!!
Lucas: bisexual!! dating Max!! queer platonic partners with El!! also he/they demiboy, perhaps 👀👀
Dustin: everybody says he's straight but like. my man's is a panromantic asexual. y'all just need to see the light.
Suzie: arospec bisexual queen <3
Jennifer Hayes: this started out as a joke but. bisexual.
Zombie Girl: from the same joke as above but she's demibiromantic asexual <3 (Jennifer Hayes & Zombie Girl are dating)
Robin: she is canon lesbian and no one is allowed to forget that <33
Nancy: bisexual. she's so bisexual it's insane.
Jonathan: demiromantic bisexual.
Steve: demiromantic bisexual. that's why he went on so many dates and didn't feel anything, no spark, found no one interesting.
Argyle: pan!! pan king!!
Eden: she's bi!! she's so bi!!
Barb: LESBIAN LESBIAN LESBIAN
Eddie: man's is gay.
Vickie: I'm like... pretty sure she's canonically bisexual? but yes.
Chrissy: she isn't 100% sure, and she's okay with that. she knows she's not straight, and she usually just says she's sapphic!
Murray: I've seen him headcanoned as aroace, as omni, and pan, and those are all very good but personally I hc him as gay.
Joyce: bisexual <33
Karen: personally? lesbian Karen >>
Callahan: g a y
Mr Clarke: have you SEEN that mustache? asexual biromantic king.
Dmitri/Enzo: bi :)
Hopper: he's the one straight ally. the token straight. he's only straight for diversity. and even then he's only straight-ish because I could be convinced of his bisexuality in a heartbeat.
Owens: okay he's the token straight actually. "him-" 'her" "...her, okay" is the only reason I respect that bitch
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luverofralts · 1 year
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Arkhelios University
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Abe looked nervously at the clock on the wall. It was Halloween night, mere hours before he and Roman were scheduled to be joined and Roman was nowhere to be found. Ulyssa’s frantic call had been one of the worst calls of his life. Once again, Roman was missing, presumed taken hostage by the one person who terrified Abe to his very core.
His mother had no idea of the secret demon ceremony Abe had been scheduled, which meant that she had insisted on having Abe and the kids over for trick or treating. Abe couldn’t refuse without admitting that his husband was missing or that they were supposed to be partaking in a dangerous blood magic ritual. It was all Abe could do to just stand idle, watching the clock and trying not to scream.
For all he knew, the demon sovereign was on her way, arriving for a ceremony that couldn’t happen without a second groom. What was she going to do when he couldn’t produce Roman? Could she find him? Was he already dead?
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“I don’t care what Lucy says, our zombie costumes are incredible,” Launce declared, pulling out his phone to snap a selfie with his brother. “It’s not offensive when you were the one who used to be a zombie.”
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“Where is Roman? He’s never this late and Abe is acting suspicious. What do you think Abe’s done this time?”
Elaine rubbed her temples, wishing that for once, her children could just be like the children she saw in the movies: well behaved and respectful. Instead, her children were a constant source of stress and drama. It would be just her luck that Roman’s absence was because of something her lustful son had done. Abe would never allow her a moment’s peace from his bad decisions.
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“Mrs. Bellamy, you’re required to be in these pictures,” Launce called playfully. While he and his brother dressed as zombies for Halloween, Elaine had chosen to go as the scariest being she’d heard of: the so called devil Lucy seemed to be terrified of. When Lucy had finished shouting at her mother about possibly offending someone as powerful as the sovereign, Elaine modified her costume. Malika Bellamy was the only devil Elaine could imagine, so she’d done her very best to channel the dead bitch who’d raised her oldest son.
“If you insist,” she laughed, striking a pose beside the most important man in her life. “Have you seen any of my children? It’s too quiet, especially for Halloween. Lucy does remember that she left Noelle here, right?”
“Don’t forget about our talk, Elaine,” Benvolio said cheerfully. “There’s no time like the present. Before this becomes a Lucy scenario. You can do this.”
Elaine frowned, but didn’t object.
“We’ll see. I have my doubts about this. But I’ll try.”
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Theo knew that something strange was happening- or at least something stranger than usual. His one father had vanished completely all day, and his other father looked nervous and scared whenever Theo asked about him. It wasn’t unreasonable to ask about, considering that Theo was supposed to dazzle some powerful demons by joining both of his parents together in mere hours. His parents didn’t fight nearly as much after Theo started at his new school, but he still worried about them. Whenever they fought, it was usually about something big and Theo was having a hard time imagining what could possibly be so big that his father had avoided them all day. Maybe he was just spending time with Aunt Ulyssa and had forgotten about his important event. Maybe he was planning to run out on their joining like Uncle Ironman had on his. Adults were confusing after all.
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“The twins’ first Halloween is finally here,” Nikolai cooed, tickling his daughter’s belly and laughing at her reaction. “We should take some more pictures by the pumpkins.”
Ironman nodded quickly, hoping that Nikolai would be pleased by his devotion to creating Halloween memories with their surprise family. Things had been challenging between them ever since Ironman had bolted from the altar but Nikolai seemed placated enough by the twins’ existence to act kindly towards the former servo.Things were frosty between them, but Ironman wanted to work things out with his ex-fiance. Losing Oriana’s love had been hard; just thinking  about her kissing Benvolio made him want to punch something. Human emotions were turning out to be more difficult to manage than he’d thought. No wonder Abraham had led such a complicated life. Love and hate and fear ruled over Ironman, but he had hope that they could be mastered. He may not have been ready to commit completely to Nikolai, but that didn’t mean that he wanted to break up with him.
The aftermath of the spell that had made them parents left Ironman straddling two worlds. He had five senses, felt hot and cold, and got tired after a long day of caring for two infants. Gone were the days of chasing after Theo until the little demon tired himself out. Now it was Ironman who nearly fell asleep while rocking his children. But not everything robotic had been lost. Ironman’s metal skeleton had fused with his human one, utterly baffling Adam when he tried to x-ray it after the spell had completed. He was stronger than a human, able to lift impossible weights. It was a great relief to the former servo that he still retained some of his usual features. It was comforting to have something familiar that he  could rely on. He could even wirelessly charge a cellphone in his hand if he concentrated.
Elaina and Nick, his little surprises, didn’t seem to have inherited any of his robotic traits. They were soft and fragile and hopelessly cranky when they were hungry, just like Nikolai. Ironman had ironically donned a robot costume for Halloween that even Lucy had approved of. He couldn’t remember when Lucy was promoted to be judge over all the household, but now that she was the presumptive heir of the Helios household once again, she’d been impossible to ignore. If she remembered to take her daughter out that night instead of dumping her off on Ironman or Abe, Ironman would be legitimately surprised.
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“Are you taking Theo and the group out trick or treating? Grab an extra flashlight if you are, Noelle and Juliet are still afraid of the dark.”
Abe nodded, still looking anxiously over his shoulder to check for his missing husband while attempting to listen to his mother’s orders.
Elaine straightened her shoulders, remembered Benvolio’s words and took a deep breath.
“Abe, has something happened?” Elaine’s voice was suddenly uncharacteristically soft and concerned. “Did...did Roman leave you because you’re having another child? You can tell me if you need to. I...I won’t judge.”
Abe froze, unable to process his mother’s words. His mother was never soft or compassionate toward him, and would absolutely judge him before she ever entertained a bad thought about her golden adoptive child, Roman.
“I-I’m not, we’re not-”
Just tell your son you love him. Be better than your father.
Elaine had always looked up to Benvolio growing up, and now that he was back in her life once more, he’d returned to being the voice of reason for her and Launce. Launce was a hands off father and she was at best a distant maternal figure for her children, which Benvolio had been appalled about. Over several glasses of wine, he’d reminded the two of them about what it was like to be a teenager or young adult. About how Elaine was passing on her own generational trauma to her children and then was surprised that Theo had as many behavioral problems as he did or that none of her children could bring themselves to tell her they were pregnant.
“Fool me once, shame on you,” Elaine interrupted quickly, silencing her son. “I wasn’t expecting grandchildren while you were a teen, so I missed some big signs. Your sister nearly fooled me again, but she never came to visit, so I didn’t get a chance to notice the signs again. You two are never going to fool me again, I promise you that. I’ve known for a while now, but I’ve been waiting for you to tell me yourself. I don’t want to be like my father, where you kids can’t trust me to listen to you. I supported you with Theo, I’ll keep you supporting you with this one too.”
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Despite his crippling anxiety over his husband, Abe felt tears of relief spring to his eyes. His mother had supported him in the past, that was true. She even kept Juliet, Theo, the twins and Noelle out of most of the trouble they usually got into. Abe still didn’t think he’d ever get used to the idea of his mother being concerned for his well being, despite their recent history. She’d always been so distant and controlling for most of his life, and it was still hard to trust that she cared about him. Though when he thought about it, Theo could probably say the same thing about him. Abe hadn’t been a hands on father for a lot of his son’s formative years and until recently, most of their interactions had been Abe grounding him for something. If he could change his ways for his son, then maybe he really should offer the same trust for his mother.
“Roman didn’t leave me, and he’s excited about this pregnancy, just like I am,” Abe reluctantly confessed, deciding to see where this conversation would lead. “He’s...taking care of something on Adrian’s estate. He’ll be home soon, I’m sure. Really soon.”
The lie came just as easily to Abe as it had to Roman the countless times Roman had lied to him. His mom didn’t need to worry about Roman...probably. Whenever the demon sovereign came for their appointed gathering, surely she’d know something about Roman.
“I’ll keep an eye out for him then,” Elaine replied, looking extremely skeptical. “I hope he’s not home too late.”
“Yeah. Yeah, me too.”
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adultswim2021 · 2 years
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Robot Chicken #21: “Suck It” | April 2, 2006 – 11:30PM | S02E01
Uuuuugh I thought that after watching Minoriteam that I'd have a newfound appreciation for Robot Chicken. No such luck, this show still makes me scowl performatively, even though I'm sitting in my bedroom by myself. It is a nasty show.
We start out with a “previously on” that continues the story of the last sketch of season one where Robot Chicken gets canceled. Keith Crawford reprises his role as, well, Keith Crawford. Mike Lazzo shows up with a jury of Adult Swim peers (Peter Griffin, Space Ghost, and Master Shake, all voiced by their actual guys). But then some kind of Superman 2 vortex happens and Seth goes back in time to the moment he offends Keith and is granted a reprieve. So we get more of this dreck. Great.
I guess now I talk about the more notable sketches. The first is one about post 9/11 paranoia about terrorists. It's not particularly insightful, but it's a fair distillation of what that time was like. The idea that anything other than a completely right-wing response was the only reasonable response, and that rejecting jingoistic patriotism is a path to being blown up by our brown enemies, etc etc. It's a little dorm-room mind-blower stuff, but whatever man, a lot of post 9/11 satire has fared worse. I guess I respect this sketch even though I didn't laugh.
There's a sketch I don't actually want to talk about, it's called “The Six Million Peso Man”, use your imagination. There's a sketch about a zombie skater who is mean to skateboarders? I don't know man, I liked the imagery of teens skateboarding in a cemetery but I bristle when a comedy character is named (something) McGee. You need to save “McGee” for a sexist nickname for a girl whose body parts you are fetishizing. Titty McGee, Assy McGee—WHOOPS. NEVERMIND
The last sketch is Mr. and Mrs. Brady, like that movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith, a movie that seemed to capture a lot of people's imaginations back in this day. Too many parodies!!! I found myself really admiring the miniature work done for this; the idea of creating the Brady house in miniature must've been really cool. Too bad the sketch is basically worthless. Again, use your imagination.
EPHEMERA CORNER:
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Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos (March 28, 2006)
I’ve already remarked on the irony selections of the 5AM timeslot by Adult Swim with shows like this, and I basically was able to match them all up with sorta relevant shows when I do EPHEMERA CORNER entries. This sorta goes with Robot Chicken because lets face it, Chuck Norris jokes and Robot Chicken are very much in the same league. Gary Coleman, a show about an angel gets matched up with Moral Orel because of heavenly themes. And Harlem Globetrotters got matched up with Boondocks because I don’t wanna say why out loud.
I’m not actually going to talk about this show in any significant way, sorry everyone. Anyway, remember “Chuck Norris facts”? I did a cursory google search and was pleasantly surprised to see some record of the origin of them. They actually originated from the Something Awful forums and were originally about Vin Diesel in response to his movie The Pacifier. They were adapted into being about Chuck Norris. Conan O’Brien’s running bits about Walker: Texas Ranger also played a part in the viral popularity of the Chuck Norris facts. I remember when they first blew up outside of Something Awful.
I honestly thought they were good, well-written, funny jokes but I usually resist trends, so I usually focused my scorn on more shallow aspects of them like creating a bandwagon around Chuck Norris. There were a few moments where people would bring them up at parties and quote them heavily and boy, did I not like that. I likened it to quoting Monty Python or something. The worst iteration came from a special edition DVD of the movie Road House, where Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier were inexplicably given a commentary track where, when there was a lull, they’d read Chuck Norris facts and make them be about Dalton, regardless if it made sense or not.
MAIL BAG:
Why do you listen to self-admitted "racist ass nazi podcasts"? Why not listen to something like Comedy Bang Bang where the characters are the stars? Do you listen to Sam Hyde's podcast? Did you know the characters are the stars on Comedy Bang Bang? Did you know despite allegations of being "difficult," Scott Auckerman is a nice guy off the set if you don't give him a reason to hate you? Any last words, playboy, before I blow your head off?
I am sorta exaggerating, that’s just my funny way of referring to a podcast that sometimes cheekily uses slurs in a very teenager-kinda way. I’m talking, of course, about Pod Save America. I didn’t know Sam Hyde has a podcast. I will have to check it out.
Comedy Bang Bang... now there’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time. Damn. I got in on the ground floor of that show and I THINK that one of the early episodes might actually by my own recording of it? They used to broadcast the show live as internet radio and podcast them later and I remember one time Scott posted a thing online where he said their recording of the show failed so it wasn’t gonna be podcasted, and I was able to send him my recording. Some other episodes were supplied by other fans in this early days, I think. I went through the early episodes recently and heard a tell-tale audio error that used to plague my recordings back then and it all came flooding back to me.
Anyway, once in a blue moon I’ll listen to Comedy Bang Bang but I think I’ve lost my taste for it and shows like it. I don’t think it’s bad, I just can’t get into it anymore. Too much comedy!
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theamericanexchange · 25 days
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Ben vs Harry
I suppose the greatest achievement from Duane Jones’ portrayal of Ben in Night of the Living Dead in 1968 is that this actor refuted the widely accepted notion that black Americans were incompetent and should take orders rather than give them. The racist perception of black inferiority shown on screen was not only challenged but inverted through a black hero and a white villain or villains. The bravery and intelligence of Ben is foiled by the cowardice and idiocy of Harry Cooper whose subordination and ineffectiveness are visualized through his retreat to the basement. Almost rat like if you were to be exceptionally harsh. A world prior to the apocalypse may have served Mr. Cooper well, one in which his conformity had landed himself a nuclear family and respect from others, however in a time of crisis, Tom, Judy and even his own wife turn to the guidance of Ben. Harry’s poor decision making can be seen through his choice to leave struggling survivors outside only to be shot by the man he calls “insane”. Additionally, his sacred basement turns out to be not such a haven as he describes, with his daughter downstairs becoming a ghoul. A ghoul with a trowel! As a result, we have a clear irritating antagonist who holds next to no charm, meanwhile Ben can only be regarded as the antithesis of Cooper’s flaws through his zombie fighting expertise.  
Another way in which Duane’s portrayal of Ben is unique is that his death does not represent the sacrifical negro trope. Such a commonality is used to raise the stakes but not to a level where you feel enough sympathy or recoil at someone’s demise to be heartbroken. This racialized trope is used for preventing the death of those an audience grows to love. In Night of the Living Dead Ben IS the character we are rooting for, therefore there is no happy ending. This may seem strange as the zombies have been eradicated but this is only for the benefit of a militia that cannot tell the difference between a threatening ghoul and an African American defending a homestead. Most likely McClelland’s forces see no difference. For this reason, the only incompetency shown by characters in this horror comes from those the old status quo would deem as sensible authority figures, expected to keep the peace during the civil unrest of ‘60s America. Flesh-eating zombies, anti-war activists, the SNCC all seem to be tarred with the same brush in the eyes of police.   
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the-pouncing-puppy · 28 days
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Forgotten Syndrome
U.Q.A.L.A.L.E - 10:00 AM EST (stands for UNEXPECTED QUANDARY AGENCY LADS AND LADIES ETCETERA) (acronym pronounced the same as “ukulele”) - UNDERGROUND CONFERENCE ROOM A
The round table gathering for persons of various genres of expertise was called to order with the delicate chime of a ceramic bell. For a moment, the room was silent. 
A man named Melon Husk (he mostly kept his first name a secret) who considered himself quite important cleared his throat and said, "To be frank, this is unheard of."
Frank raised his hand. "Actually, I'm Frank, and I've heard of this effect before. Just in theory of course..."
All eyes turned to Frank. Mr. Husk, not to be slighted, attempted to call attention back to himself.  "With all due respect folks, Frank is the janitor. He's only in here to restock the mini fridge." 
The chairman silenced him with a sharp glance. The chairman was a woman, but why intone three syllables when only two were necessary? She eventually planned to have the title changed to just “chair”, but the board was worried that people might be alarmed at the insinuation that UQALALE was controlled by furniture. It was a touchy subject, given that the agency had once been taken over by rogue agents who installed a puppet leader to front the regime. The puppet had been a coat rack dressed in a nice suit and hat, known only as 'Mister President'. They had taken the president coat rack with them when everything fell apart, and there was a bounty on it to this day.   
“That's enough, Mr. Husk,” she declared. Her strong, even tone laid a hush over all the murmuring and whispering around the table. “Frank is a respected member of this organization. Frank, please continue."
Frank tipped his hat to the chairman and continued. "It is known as magnetosomic mysteria. As many of you know, magnetosomes are organic structures that have been magnetized via biomineralization. Essentially, the cells contain magnetically charged crystal lattices. This is normally observed in microscopic bacteria whose evolution favored the ability for geomagnetic navigation." 
A man whose name tag simply read “Go away” raised his hand. The chairman nodded to him to proceed. “Dr. Tortis– glad glad you could join us.”
Dr. Tortis stood and addressed the room. "I think Frank is onto something.” He turned to the world map currently displayed on the large wall monitor. 
"Humans and several species of animals in North America have displayed symptoms. It starts with a period of disorientation-- they start wandering around and walking in circles. From there, the level of confusion continues to deepen and obstruct normal behavior."
The monitor switched to a video record: a person in a cozily furnished room whose ambience was somewhat disrupted by a hanging sign that read QUARANTINE.
The patient was looking all around, as if searching. A physician in protective gear was apparently trying to conduct an interview.
“Anastasia, what are you looking for?”
She sighed. “I don’t know… but I have to go find it. Can I go now?”
“Could you describe your physical state in as much detail as possible?”
She sighed again. “Normal. Can I go now?”
“Could you describe your mental state in as much detail as possible?”
She appeared to be making a deep effort to concentrate. “I feel like… I lost something… something very important… But I don’t remember its shape! I forgot its name…”
“Anastasia, you were found wandering in a blizzard with only slippers and a robe to shield you… where were you going? Was there a particular direction or location you had in mind?”
“No,” she said sadly. “That’s why I have to look everywhere.” 
The physician scribbled notes as the patient looked under the bed and in a closet, then meandered around the room in a slow and heavy manner, like a zombie, dragging her feet and bumping into walls. “I’m getting pretty tired Doc…”
The video cut off. Dr. Tortis was silent for a moment, before resuming his address. 
“As we know, the only thing testing has revealed thus far is that the affected individuals are unusually magnetized. Perhaps, like Frank suggests, they are exhibiting similar behavior to magnetosomes that are guided by magnetic fields. But they are not infested with any unusual bacteria, nor do they have excess minerals internally that we have been able to detect.”
The chairman stood up. “Do we have a neurologist in the building?”
It was at that moment that Mr. Husk also stood up, but his demeanor had changed from earlier. “Hey, guys,” he said. “I just remembered… I forgot something…”
Now everyone stood up, backing away toward the exit door. The chairman was fumbling with a walkie talkie. Dr. Tortis pulled out a balaclava and stuffed it over his head, and then pulled on some mittens. Not exactly biohazard proof, but his gut told him that it wasn’t that sort of issue anyways… 
Only Frank approached Mr. Husk, and hugged him tightly. Mr. Husk seemed greatly comforted by this, and hung onto Frank as if he was the only solid object in the world. “It’s okay buddy,” Frank whispered. “We’re gonna find it.”
…. Tbc ….
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rialewrites · 2 years
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multiverse of madness review: definitely more a budget flex filler than anything. huge respect for the cgi artists bc the effects were in fact very cool. did make me want to read actual dr strange comics to see how off the character is. did not make me want to read wanda comics bc even i know she’s inconsistent at best in this. actual writing though,,,, nah. additionally, not scary at all contrary to hype - cool effects and some camera angle and lighting tricks, a couple horror movie nods, and like three jump scares, but not actually Scary. like you’d think with the content it would be a psychological thriller or something
(spoiler alert) I have So Many Questions. like, what was with the pacing? there were a couple things it felt like they were Trying to tag as important, like Are You Happy (supposed to be haunting maybe?) why can dr mr strangepatch manifest like. organic weapons now? were Ponytail Strange’s white streaks actually higher up on his head than regular strange? I thought they weren’t actually trying to make movieverse 616? please tell me there won’t be another terrible fantastic 4 reboot. WONG WHY CANT YOU STRATEGIZE??? literally you could misdirect wanda pretty easily as a diversion-for-escape tactic, fortify lamar-taj And Also send ms chavez somewhere else. how come only one dude’s running away broke the Whole Entire Shields. for that matter, if wanda is basically just an alive reality stone with a mind and personality (if they’d given her one) how come she couldn’t just alter reality to her whim, like, way more, that was better creativity than they’ve done with her before but not by much. why didn’t possessed mom-wanda have nasty cut up feet from walking on broken glass barefoot. WHEN YOUR ENEMY IS BLOCKED OFF FROM PURSUIT DONT WAIT A WHOLE FIVE MINUTES STARING AT THE DOOR INSTEAD OF RUNNING, idiots! why is there only one book of ashanti ever but infinite books of evil doom?? how come we never get any nods to wong’s time in the rings of beijing or was that and his sorcerer supreme was addressed in a movie I missed (very likely, I have skipped a lot) this had a surprising amount of zombie vibes. why did wanda have to be the villain??? it would have been more interesting if she was on their side?? or even if they went all the way and said oh yeah she definitely won this round, this universe is dead or drained or has a collision-whatever event, NOW what are you going to do about it. there was definitely some strong implications that since the sauron’s-eye-tower demon-spell-castle was built like, for and by wanda, she might have existed eons ago? yeah there was a lot of dying in this one but I’m not really sure she’s dead. the music fight scene was pretty funny, tossing snippets of sharpened bach back and forth, but why didn’t they use any other tactics than music. sling ring portal razorblades. telekinesis. misdirection illusion mirror dimension. object transmutation. flight?? why was dead strange’s coat blue, I’m guessing comics reasons. if the coat is sentient, did the blue-coat patch give it some alternate memories or subroutines? why was there enough earth covered with cobblestone on a random NY rooftop to bury a man? why did they land on the same exact rooftop twice, but no other times after that?
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