#only for you to make a major mistake out of pure stupidity

[discopaddock]

THE MAIN CHARACTER FROM MY BOOK - SEBASTIAN VETTEL

SUMMARY: reader is only a fantasy and romance writer and a huge fan of sebastian. he's fan of her book. when he reveals that to the public there's no way their fans are going to lose an opportunity to have them meet.

PAIRING: rbr!sebastian vettel and author!reader

GENRE: smau, fluff pure fluff!!!

WORD COUNT: +/- 1K

WARNINGS: none

AUTHOR'S NOTE: hiya! this was based on this request! also if you see any similarities to one of @hrts4scarr ’s recent works, that's because we got the same request! also go check scar’s work, it's so cool! once again, english isn't my first language so sorry for any mistakes!

“You’ve checked Twitter recently?” Senna, Y/N’s manager from the publishing house, asked extra happily. The author only shook her head between drinking water, exhausted from another day of signing books for long hours.

Of course it wasn't that she didn't like it! She loved it! But if she was doing it for eight hours six days a week for two months now it was getting boring.

“Then do it!” Senna said, almost shrieking.

Y/N only gasped but opened her laptop and searched Twitter to see her whole feed in Tweets of Sebastian Vettel talking about her book.

That Sebastian Vettel she had the biggest crush on and created him in her book series.

The author looked at the other girl with opened mouth and she only said:

“You're gonna see him tomorrow, we've already arranged it with Red Bull. Sign some books for him with special dedications baby”

Y/N only started smiling like a stupid teenage girl.

Oh what she was gonna do in front of Sebastian?

Nice is beautiful.

And so is Monaco.

Sebastian found himself in a car in the passenger seat. He wasn't sure where he was going. He only understood that there will be books? Like a lot of books.

He entered the library with his PR manager and some photographer and when he saw that one book on the poster, he immediately knew why he was there.

There weren't a lot of people.

The queue to the author desk wasn't too long, only five people before him.

Sebastian knew that the author of his beloved book was pretty attractive. He had seen her photos on her website.

But in real life she was even a hundred times prettier than in photos.

He was close to saying she was beautiful in that interview. So close but he didn't for his own sake. Now he could say it to the first person that walked beside him.

Finally the queue ended and he was standing in front of the girl.

“Hi, I'm Sebastian” he said only with a smile on his face and she quickly stood up from her chair and fixed her hair.

“Hello, I'm Y/N” she answered with a shy grin and shook his hand.

“I can say that I'm a fan of your writing,” Sebastian announced with a laugh, making her blush.

Mein Gott, she looks so pretty with rosy cheeks – he thought. My God

“Great, because I have something for you” she said and showed him all of her books excluding “Young and beautiful”. “For you, for the longer flights to Australia” she added.

Oh, Sebastian was speechless. He didn't expect to get anything from her, especially since he found out about meeting her like half an hour ago.

“Oh, thank you so much!” he said with a big smile and looked at all the books. The covers were pretty, just like her.

“I don't know if fantasy is your favorite, so I put here most of the romances I have” Y/N laughed a little, looking at him as he carefully watched all of the books.

“I actually like it a lot, even if I don't look like it” he answered, holding in his hands the book where he was in as the main character.

He read the text at the back and when he saw a review from a Twitter user he couldn't believe it.

“Book is great, especially since Hugo gives me major Sebastian Vettel vibes”

“Haha, what is this?” he asked, showing her the review and she only blushed and shrugged.

“Well, I can say that I was lacking in character personalities” she wasn't, he put him in that book on purse. She was writing that book on Wattpad years ago before it was published, when she was watching him in Formula 3.5 and was dreaming of him.

As if she wasn't doing it now.

“Okay, I'll remember that,” he said and laughed. Oh, she loved his laugh. His laugh on TV wasn't as good as in real life.

She was in love with him.

She thought to herself that she was crazy.

But did he care? No, he didn't. Not at all.

“Can I get your number? I want to do something for you as a thank you” Sebastian asked and Y/M speechless and in shock, nodded and grabbed a pen and one of the books to write the number next to the dedication. “I'll text you, don't worry” he winked at her and left with his team and all the books in his hands.

Getting Paddock Passes for the European Grand Prix didn't sound wrong, did it?

And with that Y/N ended in the Red Bull garage in Valencia, extremely happy since it was her first Grand Prix in real life ever.

Also when the fans saw the photos of their little meet up in Nice they went crazy. She had never seen anything like shipping her with someone before that but did she like it? Yes, because Sebastian seemed to like her too.

And now he looked so hot in post race glow and champagne.

“Hey Y/N, I was thinking if you would want to join me at dinner after the whole post win thing?” Seb asked when he came back to the garage, covered in sticky alcohol.

“I don't want to intrude on you-”

“You won't! I'm the one who's asking you to join me” he smiled at her shy personality. She was adorable as hell.

“Okay, I'll go” Y/N said and Sebastian grinned widened and he left a kiss on her cheek.

“See you soon, pretty girl” he said and left to take a shower. She was just standing here without any words, red on face and with butterflies in her stomach.

Oh the thing that she had for Sebastian was big, very, very big.

masterlist

#discopaddock #formula 1 #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 x y/n #formula 1 x you #formula 1 fanfic #sebastian vettel x you #sebastian vettel x reader #sebastian vettel imagine #sebastian vettel fanfic #sebastian vettel #sebastian vettel fluff #sebastian stan #sebastian vettel angst

[azullumi]

ayato and alhaitham — boyfriend messages ☆彡

summary — phone calls and messages exchanged between you two.

characters — ayato and alhaitham (w/gender-neutral reader)

tags — fluff, modern au, established relationship, no use of emojis in text ; headcanons

word count — 736

note — i fell asleep early yesterday so i couldn't write anything. ignore the mistakes bcs i didn't proofread this yet.

KAMISATO AYATO

He's formal when it comes to his typing, always making sure to have the proper capitalizations on his texts as well as punctuations and grammar. You barely see him—actually never see him using emojis nor emoticons to add more feelings on his messages as he reasons that he could just call you to show you what he's feeling. He did, however, try it once but it didn't go quite well as the emojis he used often didn't match what he was saying.

On that note, he prefers calls with you than texts, especially when the camera is turned on for the both of you. It makes him happy seeing your face especially when he works and it makes it easier for him to talk to you as he doesn't have to hold the phone the whole time and struggle with finishing his tasks. He also loves hearing your voice—he could listen to you talk for hours even when everything that you are saying is just pure nonsense and he can't process anything inside his head.

It is clear and obvious that he wakes up earlier than you because of the fact that the first thing you see in the morning when you open your eyes and check your phone is his good morning messages sent at the time the sun is either still down or is still just rising, he's always the first one to message you each day as if he's having a silent competition with others to see who messages you first. You never want to guess what time he wakes up—or wait, does he even sleep?

Always expect to have messages from him to hangout, go out on a date, or anything—he always comes and picks you up, insisting on it when you denied at first but was persistent so you just got used to it— and honestly, the majority of your messaging history with him is just him inviting you out as conversations are mostly held when the two of you are face to face together. He prefers to talk about everything while you two are having a meal or taking a stroll instead of having a screen in front of your face.

ALHAITHAM

Sarcastic remarks being said, banters exchanged to one another, and teasing that leads to small fights or arguments and ending up with either of the two of you apologizing only after 12 hours—minimum— to 2 days later at most. Can't stand his personality? Just sit down, he tells you. Sometimes, you question yourself: does he even care? But then you remember how he always makes sure to text you every day and check on you once in a while or how he never replies late to your messages despite being known for not even reading or answering to others—only when he wants to.

However, despite all of those banters and arguments, there is still affection in your messages—no matter how small or simple it is, no matter how obvious or subtle it is—like him calling you and willingly helping you with your research and projects after calling you stupid in text, at times you'll ask him to accompany you to somewhere and he'll go with you without asking, or when you'll tell him about how you're stressing about your essay and how you will print them because you're busy and you might end up forgetting it, but then he'll show up to your class with a cup of coffee and your papers in hand even when you didn't ask him to.

He's not a fan of calls or facetimes but he wouldn't mind it—when it's you—to be honest. He doesn't talk a lot though and would prefer just listening to you and responding to your rambles from time to time, making comments and asking questions especially when it's about gossip and tea—you probably don't know how his interest always gets piqued whenever you tell him about those stories. He's a gossip guy, you see.

However, even when you and he aren't talking on call and are just doing their own thing, he doesn't complain because he gets to watch you as you go on complete focus, either because you're studying or finishing something that is nearly due already. Your eyebrows scrunched, eyes narrowed or squinted while reading, as you purse your lips into a thin line, he's amused by the expression on your face and couldn't help the light chuckle that emits from his throat.

© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.

#yae publishing house #alhaitham fluff #alhaitham headcanons #alhaitham genshin #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham #ayato headcanons #ayato x reader #ayato fluff #ayato genshin #kamisato ayato #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin headcanons #genshin impact fanfics #genshin impact headcanons #genshin #genshin imagines #genshin fanfic #genshin x you #azul.writes

[leixwhite02]

how do you sleep?

synopsis: when rafe cheats on reader she can’t comprehend how he can sleep at night when she’s up thinking

warnings: major angst, cheating, mention of sex, no fluffy ending, just pure angst

a/n: i kinda got sad writing this ngl… but i love angst fics when im angry and rn i’m angry 😭

part 2

masterlist || taglist

it’s been a full week since you found rafe in bed with another girl, to say you were still hurting was an understatement. she was pretty, and looked nothing like you… makes you stay up late at night thinking if he ever loved you.

which is where you’re at now, you glance over at your clock on your nightstand next to your bed. 3:25 am, you don’t remember when was the last time you got a full nights sleep since it’s happened. your up wondering if he’s thinking about what he did, or even giving you a single thought. you sit there and think why you? you thought he loved you… as you’re thinking flashbacks come back to you.

your just now coming home from a long day at work ready to cuddle next to rafe and forget about today. you’re day has been shitty and all you need is your boyfriend.

as you make your way upstairs assuming that’s where he is being no where else in the house. as your walking up the stairs you think your hearing things, hearing a girls moans…

slowly you make your way up the stairs making little to no noise, as you turn the handle and open the door you see what you thought was the unspeakable, rafe and a blonde model like girl having sex, in your bed…

you shake the flashbacks out of your head before it gets too much, wiping the tears that have fallen down your face. you don’t know why you’re still hurting even after a week but you can’t believe rafe who preached he loved you daily, all of it was a lie.

you lay in bed for another 40 minutes deciding that maybe some water might help you sleep, as your going down the stairs all you can think about as you look around your apartment, all the moments you and rafe shared before all went to hell.

rafes pov

i dread everyday without her, why did i have to be so stupid and make a drunken mistake? he wonders if she’s off with someone new or sleeping peacefully without him there. he’s thought about his choices over the past week, trying to forget but never could.

as he lays in bed, he stares at his ceiling then at the girl laying next to him in bed. he regrets keeping her after the fight with y/n but he needed a distraction. she’s probably off at clubs grinding up against the men anyways, he thinks as he looked at her.

rafe couldn’t even remember her name, all he could think about was y/n, she was the only thing on her mind and he needed to fix things with her as soon as he could. but would she be willing to take him back after everything?

as rafe ponders over what he should do he get out of bed and moves to the en-suite in his room. he looks at himself in the mirror, looking back at him was the monster that hurt a sweet girl.

“fuck” he mutters to him self, deciding to splash water on his face to cool himself down. he walks out of the en-suite and out of the bedroom he walks downstairs to the living room. maybe he should reach out to her? try and fix everything.

that’s exactly what he does, grabbing his phone out of his pocket he pulls up her contact to send her a text. he thinks for a while about what he’s going to say to her, does he send her a long paragraph on being sorry or start simple with a hey?

after thinking for a while he type out the text he wants “hey, can we talk?” and sends it going back upstairs to tell the girl in his bed that she needs to leave.

a/n: sorry to leave you guys on a cliffhanger, if you want me to write a part 2 i can when i get the chance! i hope you guys enjoyed this, being my first writing, i would love feedback on how i can make my writing better!

#leis thoughts #rafe cameron #rafe x reader #rafe cameron angst #rafe obx #angst

[frostyreturns]

"the tinfoil comes off when you have to imagine the government as smart." This is one of the responses to my post about government having access to technology far beyond the general public. This is a pretty common dismissal of conspiracies and it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard every time I hear it.

A.) What you think the government is and what the government actually is are two different things. This attitude only works if you actually believe the puppet they parade in front of a camera is in charge. Can you honestly tell me you believe that, for example Joe Biden a demented old fuck that doesn't even know where he is...is the one writing and enacting policy right now? You have no idea how smart or how dumb the people in charge are because you don't even know who they are. There's video footage of him signing laws where he says the words "I have no idea what I'm signing." But sure I guess if you're dumb enough to think guys like him are the government I guess thinking the government is too stupid to plan stuff makes sense. The government has so much power and so much control over your life that this idea that they are just too incompetent to plan anything is beyond ridiculous.

Bureaucracy is just one part of government and yeah they're going to have incompetent workers maybe even more than the general public but to say the people in charge are too dumb to plan anything...come on. They were smart enough to trick you into allowing them to steal from you every week, to control your entire education and to be able to send armed men to kill or imprison you if you do anything they don't like.

B.) You know Hanlons razor "never attribue to malice what can be explained by stupidity" well that's retard shit go ahead and reject that premise in totality because reality is actually the opposite of that, the world is full of malice especially when you look to the upper echelons of power....those people are all psychopaths.

You have made the mistake of assuming the terrible things they do are because of stupidity and that they just keep screwing things up by mistake...the screwing up is very intentional. Every socialist policy maker who claims "oh I'm raising the minimum wage 5 bucks to fight inflation because I care about the poor" knows 100% that they are causing inflation and that it will make life harder for everyone and especially hard for the poor. They know...they want your life to be harder, they want money and power and wish you harm. It's not a bug it's a feature.

They knew when they went on tv and said get this shot it will save your life and your grandmas life...they knew they would be injecting you with heart attack cancer juice, that was pure unbridled malice, not stupidity.

C.) You understand it's not DMV employees and politicians doing science for the government right? You do understand that when I say the government has tech we don't it's not because I think Justin Trudeau figured out AI before google right? They use those private companies as contractors to develop technology and then control how it is accessed used and if and when and how it is released to the public. Or they just hire the smartest people to do R and D directly for them. Like when they invented the internet at DARPA. But usually they just swoop in and take what they want that someone else created. People also have this idea that major corporations and the government are separate competing entities when they're not. They dump funding into companies and install CEOs and board members to control them. Google for example only exists because of the government, oh did you think google does whatever the government wants purely coincidentally? The idea of corporations vs government is a fantasy that should have been even more apparent during 2020 when the will of the state was summarily executed by virtually every corporation on the planet.

The idea that people still think the government is separate from corporations after minimum wage employees at walmart were tasked with being bouncers at the door and making sure everyone was wearing a mask had their injection and weren't standing too close to each other because the government told them to ...is ridiculous. 2020 should have been the death of the "private company can do what they want" nonsense.

D.) We tend to use ourselves as barometers of what others are capable of but the problem is there are ways of life and being that are totally foreign to us. Many assume because they are not smart or sociopathic enough to collude and scheme to achieve power and control over others...then nobody must be like that. You went to public school smoked weed the whole time and learned how to write in cursive poorly...I don't think your experience is the same as someone who was born into wealth and power and can spend every minute of their life for generations learning how to keep and amass more wealth and power. You have no idea what it's like to have everything you could ever ask for, all the money you could have to indulge any whim and get weird and disconnected because of it and to feel entitled and superior and spend your days trying to exert your will on the rest of the world. That's not even going into any secret cults or organizations...which are also a thing.

Embracing the tinfoil is the only rational way to proceed with what we know. The only alternative is comfortable delusion. And this wasn't even about a wild or hard to swallow reality...it was just the notion that the government is ahead of the consumer market with technology...that's not even a conspiracy it's a demonstrable fact.

[mariana-oconnor]

The Lion's Mane pt 2

Fair warning: I've had a fever for like half of the day, so this is liable to be more unhinged than usual. Everything feels sort of floaty and I'm pretty sure I had a dissociative episode this morning. Fun. Woooooo!

"That's The Haven, as Bellamy called it. The one with the corner tower and slate roof."

His house has a tower? No fair.

There was no mistaking that tall, angular, straggling figure. It was Ian Murdoch, the mathematician. A moment later we confronted him upon the road.

Is he hiding a jellyfish catapult up his jumper? That's the real question.

Is he three jellyfish in a trenchcoat?

"I am your subordinate, sir, under your roof. I am not aware that I owe you any account of my private actions." Stackhurst's nerves were near the surface after all he had endured. Otherwise, perhaps, he would have waited. Now he lost his temper completely. "In the circumstances your answer is pure impertinence, Mr Murdoch." "Your own question might perhaps come under the same heading."

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

"You will kindly make fresh arrangements for your future as speedily as you can." "I had intended to do so. I have lost to-day the only person who made The Gables habitable."

omg McPherson and Murdoch unrequited love enemies to lovers 100k angst hurt no comfort major character death

Murdoch needs to set out on a mission of revenge to murder all jellyfish. I still don't like him because throwing dogs through windows is an unforgivable offence, but VENGEANCE must be his new creed. He can turn the power of maths to his cause.

One man's quest to avenge his beloved. A tale for the ages. Revenge is best served wet.

I feel like there's a jelly and ice cream joke to be made there, but I don't think he should eat the jellyfish, even if that might be one of the only ways to kill them for good.

"My son here" -indicating a powerful young man, with a heavy, sullen face, in the corner of the sitting-room -- "is of one mind with me that Mr McPherson's attentions to Maud were insulting."

Maybe Mr Bellamy the younger is three jellyfish in a trenchcoat! Or maybe the whole family is jellyfish shapeshifters!

The possibilities are endless.

(the idea of jellyfish shapeshifters is going to give me the weirdest fever dreams tonight istg.)

Who could have imagined that so rare a flower would grow from such a root and in such an atmosphere? Women have seldom been an attraction to me, for my brain has always governed my heart, but I could not look upon her perfect clear-cut face, with all the soft freshness of the downlands in her delicate colouring, without realizing that no young man would cross her path unscathed.

Ugh, Holmes. Come on. I was counting on you! I'm going to lay the blame for this one on ACD and say that he suffered from the inability to describe a pretty woman without being horny about it, no matter who his narrator was supposed to be,

"There is no reason why my sister should be brought into the matter," growled the younger man.

Her boyfriend's dead, bitch. There's a lot of reasons. Stop being a dickhead and start being a comforting brother. Honestly. Stupid jellyfishifter.

She listened to a short account from my companion, with a composed concentration which showed me that she possessed strong character as well as great beauty. Maud Bellamy will always remain in my memory as a most complete and remarkable woman.

Well, at least she isn't getting brain fever. We are all grateful.

"Bring them to justice, Mr Holmes. You have my sympathy and my help, whoever they may be." It seemed to me that she glanced defiantly at her father and brother as she spoke.

OMG they are jellyfishifters! She knows! She knows!

"I see no reason for mystery," she answered. "We were engaged to be married, and we only kept it secret because Fitzroy's uncle, who is very old and said to be dying, might have disinherited him if he had married against his wish. There was no other reason."

The ancient enmity between the jellyfishifters and the sea turtle shifters! It's Romeo and Juliet meets Waterworld (I've never seen Waterworld, but I assume that it is a war epic about the ongoing conflicts between jellyfish and sea turtles. Or I do now, because it has occurred to me.)

"There was a time when I thought he was. But that was all changed when he understood the relations between Fitzroy and myself."

The tragedy. The homosexual pining.

"Sad story this, sir, about Mr McPherson's dog," said she one evening. I do not encourage such conversations, but the words arrested my attention. "What of Mr McPherson's dog?" "Dead, sir. Died of grief for its master."

Best. Boy. Survived being thrown through a plate glass window only to die of grief.

Also, what the fuck, Holmes? You 'don't encourage such conversations'? You're the only person she sees all day. TALK TO THE WOMAN.

So the dog was also attacked by the jellyfish. Someone really needs to mark that beach off limits.

You will know, or Watson has written in vain, that I hold a vast store of out-of-the-way knowledge without scientific system, but very available for the needs of my work. My mind is like a crowded box-room with packets of all sorts stowed away therein—so many that I may well have but a vague perception of what was there.

Have you finally remembered that lions man jellyfish exist?

...Inspector Bardle of the Sussex Constabulary—a steady, solid, bovine man with thoughtful eyes...

Animal comparisons as well. It's like we have Watson back.

"What would my position be if I let him slip away with all this evidence against him?"

You have literally 0 evidence.

"But I have examined them very carefully with a lens. They have peculiarities." "What are they, Mr Holmes?"

Well, one peculiarity is that they're jellyfish stings. So write that down.

"A most ingenious comparison. Or shall we say a very stiff cat-o'-nine-tails with small hard knots upon it?"

bdsm play gone very wrong... or jellyfish?

It's a difficult one.

Ian Murdoch staggered into the room, pallid, dishevelled, his clothes in wild disorder, clawing with his bony hands at the furniture to hold himself erect. “Brandy! Brandy!” he gasped, and fell groaning upon the sofa.

BRANDY! The triumphant return! And Watson isn't even here to administer it.

Get that man some brandy and cure him of... what's probably jellyfish stings, I guess. Does the brandy go in his mouth or does he bathe in it?

Half a tumbler of the raw spirit brought about a wondrous change.

If there is anything this year of Sherlock Holmes stories has taught me, it's that there is a panacea, it is brandy and we should all worship it. I need some brandy, clearly. Why am I taking paracetamol when I should be downing brandy?

At any moment he might die. More and more brandy was poured down his throat, each fresh dose bringing him back to life.

Best. Story. Ever.

I love this. It's perfect. No notes. Save that man's life with brandy, Holmes. If only you'd had a hip flask on you before. Can dogs drink brandy? I mean, there's that legend about St Bernards carrying brandy with them. Clearly dogs and brandy go together.

I can't believe brandy is saving the day. This is excellent.

Pads of cotton-wool soaked in salad-oil seemed to take the agony from the strange wounds.

OK, brandy and salad oil. Sure, why not.

I feel like he might be about to die of alcohol poisoning instead. But sure.

“I think I can, Stackhurst. Come with me now! And you, Inspector, come along! We will see if we cannot deliver this murderer into your hands.”

No, do not pick up the jellyfish with your hands.

“Cyanea!” I cried. “Cyanea! Behold the Lion's Mane!” The strange object at which I pointed did indeed look like a tangled mass torn from the mane of a lion. It lay upon a rocky shelf some three feet under the water, a curious waving, vibrating, hairy creature with streaks of silver among its yellow tresses. It pulsated with a slow, heavy dilation and contraction.

I'm really glad everyone is now on the same page, but I do have to say, Holmes, that clearly you had suspicions and you still allowed people to swim in that pool. That's reckless endangerment of lives, if ever I saw it. I am even more disappoint.

Even if you were wrong about it, you still shouldn't have let people swim there until you were sure you were wrong. Poor show.

There was a big boulder just above the ledge, and we pushed it until it fell with a tremendous splash into the water. When the ripples had cleared we saw that it had settled upon the ledge below. One flapping edge of yellow membrane showed that our victim was beneath it. A thick oily scum oozed out from below the stone and stained the water round, rising slowly to the surface.

A yuck and B, now the jellyfishifters are going to come after you.

Could have just put up signs telling people not to swim there rather than crushing the poor thing. It didn't mean to kill anyone.

"He gulped down brandy, a whole bottleful, and it seems to have saved his life."

✨Brandy!✨

“No, Mr. Murdoch. I was already upon the track, and had I been out as early as I intended I might well have saved you from this terrific experience.”

Yeah, feel bad, Holmes. Feel bad!

"The poor fellow had never thought to dry himself, and so I in turn was led to believe that he had never been in the water."

This I don't get. Was he not wet when they found him? Whatever. Doesn't matter. It was the jellyfish all along. There were no jellyfish catapults alas, and perhaps no jellyfishifters, but we aren't told whether the younger Mr Bellamy had gone suspiciously missing following the crushing of the jellyfish, are we?

But one thing we can all rest assured knowing: Brandy is the true hero. Three cheers for brandy!

#Letters from Watson #The Lion's Mane #Sherlock Holmes #long post

[infernalodie]

𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮 || 𝐋𝐞𝐱𝐢 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝

“𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵, 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥'𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘶𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦��𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘮 𝘫𝘦𝘵𝘴“

Pairing: Lexi Howard x Male!reader

ilomilo series

Summary: All I ever want is to be close to you...

(gif used is not mine)

Warnings: Fluff (?)

Words: 1232

I hated these types of environments. They were all so crowded, obnoxious, and annoying. Nowhere I went gave me a chance to breathe without smelling the scent of marijuana or alcohol that lingered even in the night air. Everywhere I went, my pounding headache persisted to blind my thoughts for the majority of the night so far.

But things seemed to clear when I saw you as well attending Maddy’s party. I’ll be honest, you didn’t at all look comfortable being here. Just from the way you stuck out like a sore thumb and obvious anxious movements, I know you don’t want to be here. Either that or one of your friends forced you to come. But I’ll tell you what, I didn’t expect you to come to this thing. Maddy had told the girls and me that it was mainly for close friends. So, I never expected you to be in that group of people.

There was always something more to learn about you. Which only made the thrill of what you were doing here all the more exciting. And I have to be honest, Y/n. I’ve been missing you too much since we met inside the music store. I’ve missed the way your lips moved and eyes seemed to brighten when you spoke-

Wait a fucking minute.

What the hell are doing? I glanced across the house, seeing you directly making a beeline towards Maddy, who seemed to have noticed your arrival just as I have. And I have to say, the pure joyous smile on her lips didn’t sit well with me. Did you guys know each other?

Well, that’s a dumb question considering she dated your brother, but that's beside the point. Her arms that wrapped around your neck and your arms that wrapped around her waist, made me feel sick. But you didn’t look too thrilled to be here as well. Maybe, there was a chance we shared a bit more in common than I already believed. Yet, there was still so much that I didn’t know about you.

You and Maddy shared hushed whispers as I tried to not look too suspicious spying on the both of you. But it didn’t seem like it was enough to seize your wandering eyes from finding me. There it was. A little spark of happiness in those aggravated and tired eyes. Listen, Y/n, I might be out of place to say this. But I would say that I might be the brand new piece of light in your life. I can be that- I promise I will be your light. Just say the word and I’ll be there.

But I wasn’t exactly ready to see you start making your way over. I quickly adjusted my seating and gripped my red solo cup a little tighter. Hoping that my sweaty palms won’t let it embarrassingly fall from my grasp.

“Lexi! Long time no see.,” you greeted with a big smile. One that I knew could enchant any girl that walked in your direction. But you never did. Surprising if you asked me because you were attractive. Far more attractive than any other guy at East Highland. And for a time, I thought you were gay. But after “accidentally” spotting you having sex with my sister, I understood that it was different.

Unlike a lot of guys, you weren’t seeking intimacy. If anything, you were trying to avoid it at all costs. Any girl that came your way, you ignored or denied with kindness. That’s what made you so complex. You had all the money you wanted and had girls falling to their knees for you. But you shut them all down. Not only that, but you also had far more depth than anyone she knew. You had a terrible past with dating and you managed to pull yourself out of an impossible situation most in your shoes never could. That’s why I loved you. You were driven, resilient, and abstract.

“Hey, Y/n,” I replied, standing to my feet and hugging you. Wait! Nope, stupid mistake. Fuck! We’ve only met once and I just hugged you. Maybe I am a bit drunk.

But you hugged me back. Me. You didn’t even hesitate either which made it all the better. So, I hugged back. And let me tell you, the smell of fresh books and vinyls seemed to match your style. You smelled like peace- if peace even had a smell. Being this close to you was calming and released any doubtful thoughts I’ve had in the past. Maybe this could work out if I just reeled you in close enough.

Pulling away, I gazed up at your beautiful eyes that focused solely on me. “I would’ve never expected you to be at one of these,” you said, eyes flickering around at the other kids that were drinking and having the time of their lives. “I always took you as the perfect girl next door.”

“Well, you’re right. I hate these things.” There was so much that you didn’t know or realize about me. But as long as you were slowly learning more about me, little by little, I was getting to know you. This was good considering I wanted you to know me. I wanted to show you the truest parts of myself, but that was if you would allow yourself to see me.

Inhaling deeply, I smiled. “But I’m here because Maddy asked me to come,” I stated. “How about you? I saw you two hugging.”

You let out a short laugh, your hand reaching up and scratching the back of your head. “Yeah, same. Tried to back out, but she put up a fight about it. You know Maddy-”

“Stubborn.” You laughed, nodding in agreement. I glanced over your shoulder to see Maddy glancing over from Kat. She seemed pissed, which made me only feel better that you decided to come over here. I deserved to be close to you. Not her.

But fate had other plans and created problems. Said problems came in the form of my sister, who was a sobbing and slobbering mess. A truly disgusting sight that I hated being connected to. There was vomit on her shirt, which made you step back with wide eyes when she came stumbling over to us.

“Lexi, I need to go home,” my sister wept, attempting to hug me, to which I stopped.

“Okay, let’s go.” Placing a soft hand on her back, I looked up at you and gave an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry.”

You smiled reassuringly. “Make sure she gets home alright, ‘kay?” I nodded, thankful that you decided to show even the tiniest amount of care for this embarrassment of a sibling I was related to.

Making my way to the front door, you called out, “Lexi!” I stopped, turning to see you smile. “Come by the music store tomorrow. We can give Flower Boy a full listen.”

I smiled in amusement. “Who says I haven’t already?”

You shrugged. “Judging by your grades, I highly doubt you give yourself a break,” you commented. “Just come by. I’ll show you some other artists we can listen to.”

Again, I nodded but with a bigger smile. Leaving the party with my broken sister.

Is this what love felt like? Did you like me or even love me as much as I did for you?

#lexi howard #lexi howard euphoria #lexi howard x reader #lexi howard x y/n #lexi howard x male!reader #lexi howard x male reader #lexi howard fanfiction #lexi howard imagine #maude apatow #maddy perez x male reader #lexi howard angst #euphoria #euphoria hbo #euphoria imagine #maddy perez euphoria #euphoria x male!reader #lexi x male reader #x male!reader

[akookminsupporter]

Hi! I think the biggest difference between Jikookers and Tkks as a whole is the conspiracy theory thing. 

Most Jikookers I've seen on the bird app, post and retweet Jikook's moments from original content, concerts, lives, Run BTS, interviews and behind the scenes. No matter how tiny of a moment, it's still a cute moment. 

A vast majority of them is OT7 with a bias towards JK and JM (as it should be, being OT7 with your own biases. Solo stans who blatantly hate the other members and their achievements? Yikes). 

And, of course, bad apples are everywhere but, personally I very rarely saw Jikookers hate on Taehyung. Most post Jikook's interactions with all the other members as well, including Taehyung, or simply only post about Jikook. I don't think anyone actually see Taehyung as an "enemy" in the bond between JK and JM. 

We love their bond whatever that may be, we listen to what they told us over the years, and the consistency of their behavior in those years and yes, most think they are indeed in a relationship.

Tkks post the moments of their biases, but a big part of it is edits or sentences taken completely out of context, blatant mistranslations (and not by mistake), and straight out made up lies. All of this, seasoned with an unhealthy dose of conspiracy theories. 

This is one of the biggest differencies in my opinion. Almost all Tkks believe there's a conspiracy, corroborated by HYBE, the members, staff, their families and everyone around them, that keeps TH and JK apart. And they keep brainwash about it anyone who listen, especially baby ARMYs and younger people.

And it's not only just that, because for this absurd theory to function, they have to explain how come TH and JK barely interact, and how come, instead, JK and JM are always attached at the hip or looking lovingly at each other (on stage, on interviews, in lives, behind the scenes and their own recounts of their free time). 

And that's where it gets even more toxic, cause I don't care if people think TH and JK could be in a relationship, my problem comes when they blatantly forge photos and subtitles and outright make up moments and interactions and shit on Jikook's bond, to fit their narrative, and think there's a conspiracy and the bad guy at the center of it is JM. Cause most of them outright hate JM. Most twitter accounts on JM and Jikook report pages are Tkks insulting and threatening him and his family. Because if you don't take out JM and Jikook's bond out of the equation, Tkks' theories are simple bullshit. 

They don't even care when call out with actual proofs and original content. Most would simply answer with "I don't care what you're saying, for me it's like this" or "Jokers got mad". They don't care about truth or reality. They transformed their ship into a fictional one where the "characters" should behave like they want them to and if they don't, they simply change the narrative, while insulting JK and TH too for not behaving like they want. 

The whole fanservice discussion is purely stupid. Every behavior by anyone on a stage is some sort of fanservice cause they're there performing for their fans, but that doesn't mean it isn't genuine affection, especially in BTS' case, where we know exactly how much they love each other (at least the actual fans know). But the affection is not even the point cause only Jikook get called out for their interactions. Everybody else's interaction is perfectly fine and genuine and cute, but when it's Jikook, everytime is a wave of Tkks belittling them, their characters and their bond, at best calling them fanservice and scripted, at worst calling for harassment and abuse (and this is fucking serious). 

And all this hate isn't even called out if not by Jikookers, cause the so-called big OT7 accounts don't say anything about it and barely post Jikook themselves not to run into Tkks' bullying and losing followers.

Sorry for the endless rant by all the double standards of this fandom are making me crazy.

"They transformed their ship into a fictional one where the "characters" should behave like they want them to and if they don't, they simply change the narrative"

YES. YES. YES!!! ALL THIS!

#anon #ask #jkkrs #the subgroup #shippers #toxic stans

[thiccydriftyy]

More stupid moral OCD vent

I hate extreme OCD thinking 😍 Literally this whole Alex Kister situation has affected me more than it NEEDED TO because of my stupid OCD ruminating on what the “right” thing to think is. I can’t be neutral, because neutrality is “wrong” in my OCD moral compass. (As much as I love the “neutrality is complacency” thing in activism because it is true, it also FUCKED with my ability to be able to be neutral when actually necessary. Neutrality doesn’t automatically mean taking that side of the villain in most non-political situations.)

Like I HAVE to be an extreme “Alex supporter” or “victim supporter” I feel like I can’t be ANYTHING else because that’s “morally wrong” and “impure”. I can’t have my own opinions on this because it’s “wrong” to my OCD moral compass.

I believed the accusations initially because I thought they were true, and it also seemed like the right thing to do. Believe the victims n stuff. But the evidence against Ven specifically came out. And I was skeptical, but I was still on their side because everyone else was and if I wasn’t thinking whatever everyone else was thinking, I was in the “wrong”.

I didn’t come out with my own opinion of Alex being mostly innocent because I felt like that was a morally impure opinion. I felt like that was the “incorrect” opinion that I had to purge from my mind. Despite now knowing that that document was transphobic and ableist and lies, I still felt like it was the “wrong” opinion because it went against the majority. I followed everyone like a herd of sheep because of my mental illness, and I feel so fucking awful because of that. Checking for updates on this situation to check if I’m still “right” has become a compulsion

And now that AK’s response has come out, people who’s supported him from the beginning are saying things like “if you believed that document you contributed to a smear campaign/other bad thing that happened due to this situation”. And like. Y’know extreme thinking makes me think that it was literally ME and only ME who did that. That I take full blame and no one else. Like. I’m literally a high schooler who has never interacted with ANY of these people involved in this situation on a personal level. I should not be carrying the guilt of a convicted criminal ffs. It’s illogical extreme thinking, I know that.

I feel like getting on my knees and apologizing to everyone I’ve ever known. I feel stained. I feel like I need to wash my moral impurity until it’s clean again. But what can I do to fix it? How many good acts outweigh my one small mistake on my blog of 40 followers that barely anyone even saw? When am I “pure” again?

Sorry guys haha I’m genuinely tweaking just ignore this 😍‼️

#moral OCD #tw ocd #tw moral ocd #tw morality

[atlasshrugd]

It’s so funny how this fandom (and fandoms in general sometimes) always vilify the one character who’s not actually a villain. Porsche is an honest person who sees the good in everybody and always tries his best. He’s not perfect but because of that, he doesn’t expect others to be perfect either. He gives everyone the benefit of the doubt because he, himself, has messed up in the past but deep down he believes everyone is trying to be a good person, because that’s who he is inside. I also think it’s funny that because he’s naive in this particular area, people immediately call him stupid which makes me sad that it’s viewed by some people, like Vegas and Tawan, as a weakness. I completely disagree with that because I very much view it as a strength. Tawan’s the one who was weak. He allowed Vegas to manipulate him and turn him into a monster. Was Porsche manipulated by Vegas? Obviously he was but, the difference is that Vegas wasn’t able to turn him against Kinn or any of the Major family because that’s just not who Porsche is at his core and that was 100% Vegas’ intention from the very beginning.

Seems to me that Porsche has been through a hell of a lot in life but he’s resilient. Resilient enough to not allow it to twist him like everyone else in the Mafia world and if he had been a different person, I don’t doubt that Vegas would have done the same thing to Porsche that he did to Tawan or anyone else he views as a tool for his goals. Porsches unyielding love and loyalty is literally one of the few things that stopped Vegas’ plan from working as well as it could have. He pulled out every trick in the book to turn Porsche, and even when he ran with Vegas, it didn’t change his loyalty to Kinn. I mean, Porsche wasn’t shocked by Vegas betraying him personally so much as he was shocked that Vegas was betraying his own family. The people close to him who he should want to protect. People like the man Porsche loves. Porsche knew about the petty fights between Vegas and Kinn but he couldn’t comprehend that the hate ran that deep because literally NOBODY would just tell him outright and he never came to that conclusion himself because he doesn’t think like that.

I personally see Porsche’s character as a beacon of light and hope on this show. A lighthouse in the storm. I really think that his influence and pure love for those around him is the only thing that could help Kinn become a better leader and make the Major house so much more functional and healthy (as much as a mafia hotel could be I guess). There’s a similarity with Kinn in this regard as well. He’s constantly battling between the Cold Mafioso façade and the sweet, caring person he would have been in a different environment and I can see that Porsche is nurturing that side of Kinn. Kinn is struggling to be a “good” leader but he’s struggling so badly because he’s constantly fighting an internal battle. Can he be who he wants to be? Can he be a cold and ruthless leader? I feel like Porsche is going to help him find that middle ground that’s more stable and in doing so, they will all be a much stronger united front in the future.

Also, can we stop the Porsche and Kinn debate on who’s responsible for everything? They both made mistakes but let’s stop acting like this wasn’t orchestrated from the very beginning by Vegas. Like Kinn wasn’t traumatized by Vegas and Tawan and that’s exactly why he keeps everything so close to the chest. He has legitimate reason to struggle with trust and thanks to Mile and his brilliant acting, you can see that inner turmoil. Vegas and his father, so far as we know at this point, are the only reason any of this happened in the first place and just because he’s sexy, some fans don’t want to face the reality on this one and seem to be throwing any other character under the bus, whether it’s justified or not, in order to avoid holding Vegas accountable. Sorry, this was a long rant but it’s something that’s confused me in this fandom for a while now. I just don’t understand the perspective.

no bc you are completely right anon and you should say it. everyone should read this.

#anon galaxy brain #don't be shy drop your @ u genius #kinnporsche meta #kinnporsche #kinnporsche ep 10 #kinnporsche discourse #mine

[louisisveryfake]

HELLLLLO here's some things about koalas to make your day a bit better. to begin, i would like to state that it makes no sense that koalas havn't gone extinct, but they are and they're adorable and it's lowkey funny so this is why

- koalas are certified smooth brains. like literally, the more wrinkles your brain has the more surface area for neurons and therefore the smarter you can be, and koalas brains are *concerningly* smooth. also, they have one of the smallest brains in proportion to body weight of any mammal. they have tiny, smooth brains. they're dumb as fuck. it's iconic

- koalas have no natural predators. not becuase they're dangerous, they just don't have any. nothing eats koalas, which leads to my next point that...

- koalas have literally no purpose. they hold an absurd biological niche. they don't control eucalyptus population, their poop doesn't give nutrients to the soil, and as i said earlier, they arn't prey. if all the koalas died this instant literally it would not affect anything. except the mental health of everyone, becuase koalas are cute as fuck.

- given all this, you might think that koalas are just super hardy and super good at surviving. wrong. koalas are unreasonably picky. koalas are so picky with their diet that they'll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born. koalas will PHYSICALLY NOT EAT anything that is not from their very precise home range. they would rather STARVE TO DEATH than eat leaves from a suburb over.

- koalas also have a floating ribage, which means that if you pick them up wrong you can literally just break their ribs and cause extreme major organ damage. why? they sit in trees and do nothing so they don't need a good skeleton structure. based.

- also those leaves that they eat? they're EXTREMELY POISONOUS. and a key side affect of the poison is that it literally *shrinks their brain*. they eat poison ONLY (they only eat eucalyptus and nothing else), that also MAKES THEM STUPIDER. it's absurd.

- ahh, you must be thinking, eucalyptus leaves must be super foods then. wrong. these leaves also have almost NO nutritional value, so koalas have to sleep *all* the time. koalas have so little nutrition that they can't afford to be awake and do stuff. they have to sleep all the time otherwise they run out of energy

- also becuase they're so dumb you have to give them leaves presented on branches and also they will only eat the tips of said leaves. if you gave a koala a bunch of eucalyptus leaves and put them flat on the ground the koala would have absolutely zero fucking idea what to do becuase they're so dumb they can't deal with any change.

- eating leaves and chewing them takes a *toll* on your teeth (woah), so most herbivorus animals have adaptations to ensure that their teeth keep up to the task of eating. KOALAS DON'T. eventually their teeth just grind down to nothing and they literally starve to death. THAT IS HOW KOALAS DIE

- finally they fall off trees so much that their brains have developed basically a crash helmet so they don't die.

koalas fucking spit in the face of natural selection and we STAN THEM for it. they exist purely by luck and they are iconic and cute and adorable and need to be protected at all costs. do not mistake this as koala hate, they are my idols and they are amazing and i love everything about them thank u for coming to my ted talk

#also the babies eat diarrhoea #it’s really weird but we don’t talk about that #australia is definitely not real #australia #animals

[unlicensed-un-proffesional]

Honestly kind of hate the “Oh I can’t be sure.” And “How can I tell?” And “I can’t do that, I’m not good enough.” Mentality. Fuck it and ball dumbass!

Yes I have tons of injuries and have had been fined for property damage, and I did almost die, several times, but I assume the majority of people are more skilled and experienced than me.

Make. Assumptions. People. You’re going to trap yourself in a vicious cycle of realizing it is impossible to know anything in the world and acting upon what you know purely factually and objectively is an impossible task to ask of any truly sentient creature. So screw the fuck up every once and a while! Get nasty scars, get embarrassing memories, say something stupid, pull a muscle and slip on a banana peel, do it! Do it! And along the way you will do great things, you will impress yourself and others, you’ll find things to be happy about, because locking yourself off from failure is also locking yourself off from success.

You made the mistake of incarnating into this world in the first place, does a few more assumptions and risks really make that big of a difference? Especially when it could make you feel so much better?

And hey, fuck around and find out! Ask things! Never be afraid to let yourself be intellectually vulnerable, to ask questions, to be blatantly uninformed and unaware, that’s the first step to information and awareness!

People like me, like my old mentor, usually don’t live that long. It’s usually the innately intuitive and durable who can make that kind of decision and live that kind of life, but that’s because there’s no support for people, for individuals who roll the dice, who really try to take a chance on life, and it puts people into this mindset of walking on a tight rope and being one wrong move away from oblivion, and in this society it’s like you can only rely on yourself, and if you aren’t already strong where it matters, taking those chances really will put you on the edge of that knife.

Which is why I think we should adopt Fuck It We Ball en mass, and begin trusting in each other more.

I met this poor guy right? On a bike, raggedy orange beard, beenie, fingerless gloves, very homeless loojing (I was walking with my stick a good few miles away from home, and forgot to bring my wallet) and he was just asking me for one dollar, to buy a pack of ramen noodles, and I said “Oh, I don’t have a dollar, I only have this one 10, but I could get it exchanged at the convenience store and give a few bucks to to you if I know where you are.” And then he asked if he could tag along with me, and of course I said “Sure!” And then not even 5 seconds later, he apologized and ran off, saying he shouldn’t even had asked. Poor guy, I was probably the first person in a long time to offer him help, and he felt so embarrassed asking he refused it. I really was ready to help him out and that kinda bummed me out you know? My brother was there also, walking with me, but he didn’t know what to say, and so didn’t say anything really, I lead the conversation.

But this guy decided to take a chance on me, and then, I decided to take a chance on him and willingly sacrifice something for his benefit, giving a resounding positive to a question so many people seem to dance around, and he just couldn’t take it I suppose. I blame capitalism.

We should all go outside, get naked, and sit in a tree. We should all do something spontaneous, like make art, and clean our entire room, and shake a strangers hand, and stop being so afraid of not knowing! Fuck it and ball my brothers sisters and other killers! Follow a dream you find in the wind! It could take you to places and people, and show you something new, something about life!

We all have to start living a little, just punching a thing when we feel like punching a thing, and dealing with those consequences, and learning, benefiting from failed attempts and lost control. There’s always something new and beautiful to be found in the world, and while we should not stop thinking and analyzing, we shouldn’t be afraid to just, say shit, and learn things.

If I really felt like I could send hate mail to people, but I don’t. That’s not what I feel like doing. That’s not what makes me or anyone happy, and why would you do something if it makes no one happy? You’d have to be an irredeemable kind of insanely evil, not an irredeemable person, but a kind of evil that lives in your heart and mind so devoid of logic hope or love, that it is something that just must be purged from our collective psyche and fought at any given chance, like fascism.

But do you know what I do love doing? Saying nice things to people. Or at least trying. Trying to be funny, put some love and light into someone’s miserable time on this mush world. I try, I really do, and no matter how much I’m yelled at and booted off, (mostly irl) how much I lose, and how many people I’ve lost, I’ll never stop trying to be someone who loves and lives, and trying to infect other people with that kind of love and life also. And I think we all should try a little more for each other, for yourselves, look towards your fellows trapped in here and do it for them. Look inward at the universe that resides under your skin and do it for yourself. Just do it.

I may be stupid, but I’m worth something, and you are too! Maybe not the first thing but definitely the second thing! Just roll those damn dice, in a casino of your own creation. The only winning move in life is not to play, but there’s so much more to it than just winning or losing, the act of playing itself is a reward to many. So please! Fuck insecurity and physics! Fuck the mind and the body! Fuck everything, fuck reality, and fuck the imaginary. Fuck it, and ball!

#hexacles.txt #pentacles talks #it’s pronounced pen tuh cleese

[multiverse-swampy]

Trauma Headcanons

WARNING! This post contains a lot of triggering content. Only view if you are truly comfortable.

(Before her Draconic Transformation)

Swampy can’t remember much of her childhood, and its likely because her mind is blocking out bad things that happened to her.

Being undiagnosed autistic and having ADHD, she often got scolded and stuck by her parents for numerous reasons. It often didn’t matter what she did; a minor mistake, having a big emotion, being too loud, it didn’t matter. She got punished for it with no understandable explanation.

Because of her “being unknowingly different”, she was heavily sheltered from the world and how it works. She often doesn’t know how to hold a conversation or interact with others.

At the time, she never could guess why things were harder to do than others. And once again, her parents got heavily frustrated with her.

She learned that she had to hide her true feelings and keep herself under tight control to not make others uncomfortable. However, this caused her to become more and more depressed.

Her cousins didn’t care much about her either. She was often cast aside and ignored like she wasn’t even there.

She did struggle in school, and didn’t “qualify” for extra help since she “slipped through the cracks” of the system. She constantly believes its all her fault for her stupidity and not doing better.

It didn’t help that she was bullied for “being stupid” and “different”.

Her parents often used shame to get her to do things, be it homework or chores. She always felt like she needed to be a good girl to get their love and approval... but not once did they say they were proud of her.

It was eventual that her severe distrust in people blossomed. She believed that all people are awful and only use others for personal gain.

(After her Dragonic Transformation)

Things didn’t get better after her transformation. It got worse.

More people started to outright make fun of her and call her a freak among other derogatory names. Sometimes in front of teachers, who would do nothing. It got so bad that she needed to be taught privately.

Despite graduating, she thinks it was by pure luck.

She continues to get harassed and threatened until she gets relocated to an undisclosed location, far from her family.

Believing people want her dead and gone, along side her major depression, they nearly got their wish twice. She didn’t have the guts to go through with it.

While flying to a neighboring island, she got caught in a sudden thunderstorm created by an angry lightning dragon. Trying her best to avoid the lightning, she ends up getting struck and plummets to the ocean below. She can’t recall how exactly she managed to survive, but remembers a bright light before blacking out from hitting the water.

After her near death experience, she discovered her verse traveling abilities. She continues to use this ability to find a place where she can finally be free and accepted for who she is.

#ooc #trauma headcanons #TW; Childhood Trauma #TW; Child Abuse #TW; Abuse #TW; Negative Self Talk #TW; Suicide Mention #TW; Near Death Experience

[traceofexistence]

the babyfication of rbr and karen horner by their fanbase is astonishing

1. uwu they didn’t mean to over spent

2. uwu they gave their employees paid leave

3. uwu it was catering, cause they cared about feeding their staff

4. uwu it was an honest mistake

5. uwu they just didn’t have a good accountant

6. uwu they are innocent, and all their thoughts were pure

like....

you either 12 and don’t understand how businesses work (which valid) 

or you are just trying to wash your fav clean

and I’m leaning towards the latter

1. yes they did, your Karen had even said that all teams would overspend back in 2019

2. so did all other teams under UK law where the majority of the teams including  RBR are based

3. apparently according to you all other teams had their staff starve

4. corporations do not make “honest” mistakes, they made calculated “mistakes” that would benefit them in the long run, like winning championships. and as it turns out the punishment is not even much in the grand scale of things, to outshine the benefits.

5. to imply that a mega corp like rbr would have employed the accountant next door who only knows how to deal with the finances of the no name corner store, at most, and not a team of multiple PhDs financial managers, to deal with their finances. how effing stupid do you think everyone, but rbr supporters, is?

#formula 1 #rbr & mv fans do not interact #I don't care about your bs takes

[sanshine]

open book exams my beloved (not)

#imagine wanting to retake an exam to get a better grade #only for you to make a major mistake out of pure stupidity #bc you overlooked something #and that mistake was worth so many points that I could've used #I hate myself so much right now fksbfksnf #I can still retake it one more time I guess..... #but is it worth it #because I passed easily both times I just.... don't want a bad grade on my diploma fksbdksbf #it's a mediocre trade but bad in my eyes lol #why do I do this to myself someone hold me pls #gonna ask my mom for some love now what a horrible day again lol #biba rants #mediocre *grade btw #can't even think rn lol

[suna-reversed]

𝐩𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡

toji fushiguro x reader

You could have anyone you want

Why would you want to be with me?

I’m nothing special

WC- 8k+ || MINORS DNI !!

my fic for the “great conjunction collab”

Warnings/tags- (unprotected sex, oral sex, slight voyeurism, choking, nipple play, mating press, size kink, slight breeding kink) (historical AU, non-canon timeline, greek mythology, hades-persephone retelling, mentions of misogyny/sexism, depression, religion, hurt/comfort, angst, heartbreak, major character injury, descriptions of blood, violence and death, manipulation)

𝙀𝙧𝙞𝙙𝙖 - 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙙

It would be an understatement to say that Toji, despite being one of them, had never felt like part of the clan and had hated the whole Zenin bloodline through all his years of suffering.

And the only thing he hated more than his own blood? It was the damned nobles who looked down upon him- mocking his lack of power under whispers and rumours. The spineless cowards didn’t even have the courage to spit those venomous words at his face.

He kept note of every single one of them- it was hard not to with how their laughs echoed in his mind each night as he dug his nails into his palms. So of course his attention was bound to drift towards the mother and daughter from a titled family that happened to take residence in the Zenin estate when they got news that their home down-south had been attacked. 

𝘼𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙚𝙖- 𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙮

Your home had not been attacked. It was all planned of course- your travel to the mountains up north that crossed the Zenin abode, your mother having fabricated the news so that she had an excuse to find an honourable match for you from one of the most powerful clans. Her sly spies had already done the dirty work, providing you with two suitable men- even if one of them was twice your own age and the other known for his aggressiveness. 

The white gown your mother had dolled you in and the orchids she had braided into your hair had every single eye focused on you as you made your way up to your chambers. You kept your head down, too nervous to meet the eye of anyone- hoping no older man took an interest in your facade of purity and innocence and decided to stake his claim on your body. Oh, how you wished you could get away from this life, get away from the wretched woman you had to call your mother, get away from all of it- the stupid clan- the stupid suitors- the stupi-

“Ah!” 

You yelped as your body crashed into what seemed to be a rock hard wall of muscles, the scent of night chilled mist and cedar taking over your senses. You blinked. 

Gulping, you moved back a step, ready to start sputtering apologies before your mother peeled your skin off for already having embarrassed yourself. Instead, your words stayed stuck in your throat as your gaze met with an intense pair of orbs- filled to the brim with the rage of achilles, but somehow also his sorrow. Your breath hitched in your throat, and in the back of your mind, you knew you should do something- move, apologise, scowl like a noble lady would if nothing else- but all you could do was stand there stunned, the man’s stance mirroring your own. 

You flinched as the pot-bellied butler who was leading you down the hallway came back, and you thought the dark haired man might kill him right there for interrupting the burning moment between you two. Instead, you were shocked as he let himself get pushed to the side, stuffing his hands into his pockets, head down as he made a beeline towards the exit.

You barely felt the crescent moons being engraved into your skin as your mother dragged you to your room by the arm, a clipped smile on her face. 

𝙊𝙧𝙥𝙝𝙚𝙪𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙪𝙧𝙮𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙚- 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙗𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙚𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚

“Toji”

He continued walking, even as his eyes held a warning look. Gritting his teeth, he increased his pace.

“Toji-”

He shuddered. Say it again, he wanted to command, instead he turned the corner, hands curling into tight fists.  

He had been confused at first, almost appalled, at you- at your audacity to try and act like he wasn’t who he was- a piece of scum, the lowest of the lowly in the clan. But it seemed like this is how you had decided to spend the rest of your time whenever you weren’t being flagged by suitors or being paraded around your mother as the ideal of a chaste loyal wife. 

He had indulged you the first time you had struck up a conversation. Perhaps that was his initial mistake. His second being committed just now as he turned to you, the glee on your face making bile rise up to his throat. He had seen women like you before- well born “ladies” of the court in dire need of a good fuck, before they were packaged off like objects to a husband who’d only ever look at them as a vessel for carrying his children. Toji huffed in annoyance, eyes doing a quick scan of his surroundings before he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into one of the storage rooms right around the corner. 

“Look-”

Toji cut himself off as he saw the baffled look on your face, your eyes starting to fill up with fear and panic. Somehow, he found himself speechless, the bitter words of telling you to go look for pleasure in a whorehouse now dissolving on the tip of his tongue.

He knew who you were being considered as a match for- having overheard the conversation during a clan meeting- it was supposed to be the sons of one of the higher ups and he could already picture the half wilted life you’d be living. And right then, something clicked in Toji’s mind- all those years of hatred and resentment flashing before his eyes as you hesitantly stepped back, tears welling up in your eyes, and right there, Toji knew what he wanted to do- what he had to. 

He took a deep breath and your heart hammered even harder in your chest. He had been different from the rest of them- you had known it from the first time. However, now you doubted your own wits, trying to recall the ways of combat you had seen the soldiers back home perform- even though you didn’t quite see how you’d succeed against the tall burly mass of flesh that towered above you. You jumped back as he strode right towards you- eyes clenched shut, hands raised in front of your face ready for the impact and pain. 

You were met with nothingness, barely feeling the light brush of his arm as he moved past you. 

Toji sighed at your almost childish antics, even though he agreed your actions would have been justifiable if it was any other man having pulled you into such a secluded place. He waited for you to calm down, lazily looking for the latch of the huge glass window situated on the other side of the room. He easily lifted it open, biceps flexing as he did so- placing his hands on the ledge before pulling himself to the other side.

He turned back towards your gawking figure, rolling his eyes, ready to put forward the offer that would decide if you were worth his time and effort or not. He extended his hand, trying to ignore the heat crawling up to the tip of his ears at the giddy relief-filled grin that spread across your face as he asked, 

“You ever visited the countryside princess?” 

--

You must be an angel in disguise, he finds himself thinking. It terrified him- the time he had spent staring at the column of your neck, watching your chest fall and rise with every breath- and the time he could have spent simply admiring every crook and nook of your body. 

You looked serene in the golden hour of the afternoon, lying on the grass with your eyes shut, sunlight cascading down your figure making it seem as if you carried your own halo. Toji was afraid you’d sprout wings any second now, disappearing away to someplace heavenly- someplace better than the hell you were about to be condemned to- someplace that didn’t have monsters like him. But at last, you were only a human- soon to be one of the Zenins if nothing else. 

The time you had sneaked out to the lake in the countryside with him had not been the last of your rendezvous. You had been quite different from what Toji had expected. You hadn’t made any advances towards him but you weren’t the pure little thing everyone believed you to be either.

You were smart to say the least- a trait that families often suppressed in women of your status, trying to force them into nothing but submissive concubines for their future husband. You were oddly aware of it- had mentioned your doomed fate quite a few times now, and he was struck by how you always laughed, as if your own self being stripped away was a joke. You seemed to do that quite a bit, and he understood it in some twisted way of his own plight. 

Even as his mind kept reminding him that you had still grown up being pampered, being spoiled, having others do your work for you- others like him. But conversation had flowed so naturally with you, he found himself showing you more and more of his places of solitude he had found all over the village through his years of misery.  

You were also naive in many ways, but still blunt in twice as many. Toji had rolled his eyes as he had asked you what you did with your free time back home- the answer was expected- it always had to be something related to the arts and education, trying to pump the ladies full of culture so that they have something to talk about at the dozen balls and galas they’d be attending every month. However, he had almost choked on the pear he chewed as you had started listing names of erotica after erotica- the titles being lewd enough to let him know just how filthy the content inside would be. 

You had burst into laughter at the look on his face, crumbs of fruit left on the side of his mouth making him look even more bizarre. You had reached up your fingers almost instinctively, eyes widening as you realised you had brushed them over the scar he never seemed to talk about. His hand was wrapped around your wrist in less than a second, halting it in place. 

He had stared right back at you, breaths heavy, eyes calculating as he loosened the grip around your skin, but not before he lifted your fingers to press against the mark once more. You swore you could have heard the drumming of your heart, and perhaps he did too.

As you brushed away the remaining bit of the sweet fruit, you couldn’t help but notice the flush that had formed on his cheeks, even as he scowled. 

𝙀𝙧𝙤𝙨- 𝙥𝙝𝙮𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙧𝙚.

“You’d better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little slut you are.”

You’re bent over the table in the storage room that has somehow become your portal of escape from the person you have to pretend to be. It’s not the first time Toji has whispered his filthy administrations into your ear, but he’s never done it quite so close to where anyone could walk in and catch you red handed. 

Perhaps it was the fact that his face had turned a sick shade of green at the sight of your suitor tucking your hair behind your ear, your lips twitching upwards at something he said- the same way they had twitched up the night before when he had risen from in between your legs, the taste of yourself flooding your mouth as he had pressed his lips to yours. 

This is exactly what you were here for, and despite it, Toji knew who’s name you screamed at the end of every day. So then why did another hand on you ignite a bestial flame inside his chest? Why did he feel the need to pull you away in the dead of the night amongst the crowd of tipsy people, ridding you of the fabric of your dress in one swift movement as he had pressed you against the nearest surface. 

You didn't panic for even a moment, you knew it was his hand just from the touch of it, his hot breath against the shell of your ear, and his throbbing member pressed against the curve of your behind as a thumb rubbed circles into your hip bone. 

You throw your head back against his muscular chest, craning your neck upwards till you meet his eyes- they soften for the briefest of moments, but the way his tip brushes against your underwear-clad core seems to fill them with raw electricity once more. And you think he’s going to fuck you right there- make you cry out his name for letting another man so close to you. Instead, you gasp as his rough hands grab the flesh of your thighs, kneading the muscle as he spins you around, a smirk being flashed your way as he gets on his knees. 

He looks ethereal in that moment. And your breath hitches in your throat as you realise you’ve made a fallen angel bow before you- have tricked him into thinking you can cleanse him of his deeds when the only sinner in this room was you. The way his lips press against the inside of your thighs, nose rubbing against your freshly flowing juices- it’s tantalising, even worse when he takes both your hands in his as they try to find solace in his locks, pinning them to your sides onto the table instead. 

He rests his chin right below the apex of your mound, eyes wandering to your face as he sighs, the lazy but smug curve of his lips accentuating the scar you had grown to cherish as much as your own heartbeat.

Your chest is heaving, the sound of your heavy breathing hanging in the silence of the room as you look down at him. If this was to be his ruination- his fall from grace- Toji would die a happy man. The scent of you is lingering right below his nose, his mouth watering alone at the thought, but he cannot seem to pull away his eyes from your beguiling face, bathed in the moonlight. The words seem to escape him before he can think twice of them.

“Do you know how beautiful you are? It’s truly distracting.”

You’ve barely let his words settle in before he presses his thumb right against your wet heat, rubbing small circles onto your sensitive bud. You don’t have a chance to respond as he proceeds to dive into your drenched cunt- his tongue giving kitten-licks to your clit, lapping up any wetness that dares to drip down. You cry out loud as two of his fingers join his mouth’s onslaught, slapping a hand against your own mouth remembering where you were. 

The sounds filling the room as he suctions your clit in between his lips are filthy- arms wrapping around and under your thighs, pulling your arousal even closer to his starving mouth, the new angle of your leg being thrown over his shoulder letting his fingers rub against the spongy spot inside your walls that makes the coil in your stomach snap. You’re grinding against his face and he’s letting you, nose pressing onto your clit as he licks up the remnants of your juices, fingers continuing to fuck you through your climax as they quiver and shake around his head. 

You’re still coming down from your high, body hanging limp at an awkward angle against the hard wooden surface. His strong burly arms are easily lifting you up, carrying you towards the other side of the room- right towards the glass window. Your eyes widen as you realise the malicious idea that has popped up into your lover’s head, but you’re barely able to put in two words of protest before your feet are hitting the ground, the cold surface making you gasp as your tits are pushed against it. You’re crying out loud as he rubs his thick length against your soppy folds. 

“Toji- someone could see us- we shouldn’t- ah!”

You’re cut off as he lines himself up at your entrance, a pleasurable burn down in your core as his girth stretches your walls. It always hurts. No matter how many times he’s made you cum on his fingers and tongue or prepped you up with an ointment- his size is something no one would ever get accustomed to. He knows it too, but tonight he seems to care less about taking it slow and letting you adjust. You honestly cannot care less too, not when you're gushing around him as such when he’s barely even halfway inside. 

“Too big Toji- too much.” You’re mewling, hands trying to grip onto something.

“You can take it- fuck just let me-”

He’s hastily moving his fingers across your stomach to rub your pulsing bud, groaning lewdly at the way your cunt flutters around him, letting him move deeper inside of you.

The growl that leaves him as his tip hits your cervix is grossly animalistic, making you moan loudly. His other hand is coming up to grip your jaw, cheek pressed against the glass as he lifts up one of your legs, the angle letting him thrust in and out of your poor drenched hole even deeper. His thrusts turn sloppy, eyes clenched shut above you as the sounds of his balls slapping against your flesh with each thrust fill the room.

You’re both groaning in unison, his strokes getting faster as he feels your walls clamping down on him. You’re choking on a breath as his hand moves to wrap around your throat, the sensation making you moan even louder.

“Call me selfish-”  

A sharp smack is delivered against the flesh of your ass causing you to arch your back, the action making your tits press up against the window even more,

 “... but I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you.”

His lips have been suctioned to your neck, your delightful noises being muffled as he’s turning your head to the side till his tongue slips into your mouth. He tightens his grip around your neck and you’re seeing stars, along with the pace of his fingers on your clit and his rapid thrusts making the well in the bottom of your stomach come apart, tears of pleasure slipping your eyes, the feeling of his seed painting your walls making you clench against him amidst your own orgasm.

You barely feel the arms cradling your body, carrying you to set you down on the table. You furrow your brows as Toji strips himself of his shirt, and your eyes widen at the thought of him ravishing you once more so soon. Instead, you shudder as he swipes it against your sex, cleaning up his mess. 

The way you beam at him, even in your exhausted state, is honestly worth the ruined shirt- he finds himself thinking as he moves to pick up your dress from the ground. He clicks his tongue as he realises just how much of shreds he had ripped it into in his feral daze. He’s lifting his head to meet your eyes, wondering how he’ll tell you that you have to find a way to get back to your chambers in this state- 

“Oh-”

Your saccharine voice is pulling Toji out of his thoughts, surprise forming across his face as you burst into laughter at the sight of what he’s sure has cost twice as much as all the clothes he’d ever owned combined. 

“How well do you think I’d fare going out in one of the potato sacks?” 

How could he have not smiled right back at you. 

𝘿𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙨- 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙪𝙞𝙡𝙚

Toji had never wanted to rip his own heart out so badly before, inject his blood with ambrosia so that he could be worthy enough for the goddess that was ready to abandon her sanctity- her piece of heaven- for him. He had always known how it would end- in an empty heath of a fire gone out long ago, the only thing keeping it burning now regret and sorrow.

 Love could not have sustained you when there was barely enough space to breathe, when there was barely enough food for your kids to live off of. Once the love faded, all that’d remain would be your wish to go back to the past, getting drunk on forgetfulness so that you can survive within the stone cold walls of a house- not a home.

Once again, Toji knew what he had to do- knew he willingly stepped into this hoping to ruin what was supposed to be the prize of his own blood- in order to humiliate them and fulfill his revenge.

He also knew he was the ruined one now as thoughts of you plagued his mind day and night- how his tactful game of cat and mouse had turned into sweet kisses and hushed giggles, and how all he wanted was to find a pit stop in time where his blood did not matter, where the sins of his past did not matter. But despite it all, he knew he couldn’t have dragged you into his own hell, even if you begged him to take you.

He sighs. 

You had recited the exact conversation you had with your mother- laid yourself bare before him as you poured out your heart- letting him know that it’d be worth tasting the 7 seeds of evil even if it meant living in hell for half your life. 

He had thrown his head back and laughed. 

“You really thought our little getaways meant anything more than a fling to me? More than just a decent fuck?”

You stood still, mouth agape at the words that had slipped past his lips, a hand fisting the fabric of his shirt right above his heart, desperately searching for the pulse of the man you’d grown to adore over the past few weeks. 

He had looked down at you, the scar you had so tenderly ran your fingers over twitching upwards- in amusement- in laughter, face contorting into one of resentment- of revulsion before he had suddenly stilled. 

“Did you forget your place princess? Pretty little head got too lost in a fool’s paradise- did you forget you are one of them- always have been one of them.”

He had spat the last words at you and you wanted to shake your head, wanted to tell him he was utterly wrong, but all you could do was clutch on even tighter to him.

He had put his hand over yours and you had almost begged for him to tell you that this was a sick joke- almost pleaded for him to intertwine his calloused warm hands with yours as he always did- as he had when he made you scream his name, instead you had found yourself gasping at the icy touch as he flicked away your wrist, brows furrowing in repulsion at the contact- at you.

The tears that had slipped through your eyes had only worked to make him throw his head back like a giddy child once more. He had looked up at the sky as if he was mocking the gods in Olympus - look at how I’ve so beautifully wrecked what you created,

while you had stood there looking up at him as if he was your religion, mouthing,

this is not a joke, love me, love me.

𝙊ï𝙯ú𝙨- 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙮, 𝙖𝙣𝙭𝙞𝙚𝙩𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙛

You felt raw. But you did not fight the black hole opening up in your chest. You let it settle into your bones, nurtured the hollowness- ignited it until you felt it turn into flames instead.

You couldn’t have let the ice creep into your heart- it would mean giving up the tears, giving up the feeling of wanting to be swallowed whole by the ground beneath, and that would mean you no longer felt- no longer harboured the only thing that made you feel alive in the cage of bones and flesh your troubled mind resided in. 

There was a heavy pain in between the arch of your shoulder blades- like your wings had been clipped and your halo ripped away.

You ignored the scowl that rose to her face, the way she flinched as you leaned over to rest your head in her lap. You couldn’t tell if the wetness on your cheeks was yours or hers- mourning the daughter she was going to lose. You felt your mother’s burning gaze through the back of your head all throughout the journey back home- could already feel the wrath of your father and the nasty bruises that were to come as her hand came down to rest on your head. 

You instead found yourself being locked away immediately- not a single word from anyone. The only time your door opened was for a maid to serve you your half portioned meals. Not like you had an appetite or a will to do anything else. 

Days passed by, perhaps weeks or months, and you counted the scattered marks on the wall beside your bed like you had done once with the freckles across his back, and you waited-  for what? You weren’t quite sure yourself. You waited and waited until the day your door opened, but it wasn’t the regular pitter patter of steps of the maid who served the food.

Instead, your eyes met the raging ones of the head of your clan, and for the first time in days, an icy shiver creeped up your spine.

----

The torment you’re put through is much worse than expected. You were well aware you were to be disgraced, to be stripped of your title, but somehow the gaze of your own friends and family avoiding your beaten bloody form and ignoring your whimpers and cries of agony was what had stung the most. 

The world seemed to be upside down, fading in and out of hues of colour and greys and blinding lights. You could barely feel the blood dripping down the back of your head and into your shirt as your gaze managed to remain focused on the window outside of the rattling carriage you lay in, panic rising in your chest as you recognised the familiar scenery. 

You fought your hardest to stay awake, but you lost to the increasingly heavy pressure against your head, hoping your blood would run dry before you had to face the hell you were being thrown into. As your head lolled to the side, you wondered if satiating the hunger within you was worth the price you were paying- if this was what happened to every soul that had brought the god of the dead to his knees, wondered if you were the first to do so- wondered if you’d be the last. 

𝙃𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙨- 𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙙, 𝙜𝙤𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙩

Toji had left the clan- made a living of his own by doing what he did best, by doing what he was made to- destroying and causing wreckage till there was no piece of his soul left to be salvaged. 

He had avoided news about you like the plague, and had still ended up finding out that you were locked away back at your home from the gossiping servants. He had chuckled bitterly, what had he been expecting? He was right after all, you'd never have to face any consequences in life, and soon this whole scandal would be swept under the rug and you would be well on your way to marrying another wealthy brat, having filthy little kids with him who’d have the same luxuries in life and-

Toji found his heart dropping, the axe along with the freshly chopped wood he carried thumping down against the forest floor as he reached the entrance of the wooden cabin he had taken residence in. He saw the pool of blood first- the familiar mop of hair later.

No-

He must be hallucinating- 

But he still found himself moving out of his own accord, gathering the crumpled figure into his arms, feeling a thick fluid drip down his skin- stain through his shirt as he tried to pick you up. A chill ran down his spine as he realised what those savages had done for your body to resist even in an unconscious state- 

And that’s when his eyes slid to the nails in the ground, the sharp metal going right through the flesh of your fingertips, a note pinned to your abdomen in between your shredded dirtied clothes-

“We don’t want the gross wreckage of your perverse ruination. Keep the whore since you wanted her so much.” 

A sea of rage rose in the back of Toji’s mind but it stilled, the vicerating waves crashing against the shore that was the barely noticeable action of your chest heaving. He held back what was a choked sob, mind barely sane as he took out the nails as gently as possible- a man so familiar with death yet utterly horrified by it as he counted your laboured breaths, thanked every deity out in the universe for every huff of air that he could feel against his chest as he carried you inside. 

—

How do you kill a god? 

You had asked him once. He had raised his brow, ruffling your hair before pushing you down onto the bed once more, intent on at least letting you know how you got to heaven. 

How do you kill a god?

It now echoed in his mind as he watched your broken body lay on his bed, having done everything he could have to fix you up even though he feared there would be wounds more than just the physical ones when you gained consciousness- if you gained consciousness.

How do you kill a god? 

Pit him against another god. Let him stare at his own reflection and see all his glorious flaws until he’s falling to his knees, begging for the taste of ichor to be washed out from his mouth, begging to be stripped of his damned divinity- because the curse of immortality is a heavier burden to carry than the curse of mundane suffering- because it’s easier to drown in a sea full of blood than live with it staining your hands.

𝘼𝙥𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙚- 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚, 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣.

“How do you kill a god?” You had asked him once.

Afterwards, you had lain awake late into the night as he had given you a taste of his own holiness, bare in his arms as he had muttered the words into your hair, barely a whisper as they escaped past his bleeding lips, 

How do you become a god?

The burning light attacked your eyes and you flinched loud enough for your own ears to ring, and then flinched even harder as the hot searing pain spread through your body, especially across the tips of your bandage covered fingers. You tried to use your voice but your throat was like a desert and your own harsh whisper scraped against your sensitive ears.

All you could do was stare up at the unfamiliar ceiling, lying numb, waiting for your saviour- or perhaps your torturer to come.

All had gone still once the door opened, your gaze falling onto the familiar hands that carried a bowl of water and about a dozen different small bottles in a basket. You stared through him, through his wide blown eyes and through the sigh of relief that left his mouth as he rushed towards you. 

How do you become a god?

There was much more you had wanted to tell your mother. You had told her you were sick of pretending, sick of being the goddess of spring when everything you touched died in your hands- how every beam of light you emitted was a stolen one from another soul. Perhaps, you had always craved pomegranates and death - had always willingly walked into the darkness with a smile and open arms.

How do you become a god?

You let him plead and writhe to have a taste of your lips - make him believe it is his only salvation. And right when his lips meet yours, you dig your teeth in deep and not let go, even as his fingers grip the column of your throat and his growls rumble inside your mouth. You let the trail of crimson coat your tongue and feel his tears burn your flesh- you make him taste your blood and take his throne. 

—

He says your name like it’s a prayer and you want to rip out his heart.

Instead, you turn your head towards the wall opposite to where he stands, clenching your eyes shut, hoping the next time you wake up it won’t be here. 

Still, you can hear his voice. Every single day of every waking moment- even as you sleep- even as you wake up in cold sweat haunted by the bittersweet melody of his laughter the day he crushed your heart in two, or the time your own blood nailed you down into the earth. 

But most of all, you hate it when you can hear the gruffness of his voice, still heavy from sleep as you let him cradle your head, shushing you- letting you know it was just a nightmare- but it was a nightmare you had lived through- a nightmare he had put you through. 

Not that he didn’t acknowledge it equally as much. It was odd- almost laughable the way he was so desperate to bring even just a flicker of the light back inside your eyes, breaking free from his stoic and tight lipped demeanour to whisper grossly sweet nothings into your hair.

He had explained his regrets the first few days that you had refused to even look at him, simply staring at the wall as he stripped you of your clothes to redo your bandages, not even the barest of reaction visible across your face. He had caused this. 

The first words you had muttered to him weren’t of hatred or anger or sadness- they were said into the heavy air, late into the hours before dusk at a point in time where your bones still couldn't support the burden of your body, 

“I need to pee.” 

You had said it through gritted teeth, had scowled throughout the process of him picking you up and carrying you into the bathroom, giving you privacy to do your business. 

The second time you had spoken to him was right after and it had somehow dented itself much deeper than he had expected it to, even as it was all he had been preparing himself for in the past few days, 

“I hate you.”

You had said it with no anger, no poison in your words- had simply stated it like it was a mere fact. 

“I know.”

—

It was weeks later and you seemed to have fallen into a strange routine.

He’d go out to do his filthy work, come back bathed in blood and dirt, even as he washed himself off outside thinking he was sly with it. You’d pretend not to notice as you’d cook for yourself, sometimes leaving bits behind as leftovers even if you had purposely spilled the extra bit of rice- had regretted it as soon as you had realised you had done it because he hadn’t had dinner in three days.

Perhaps it was the irony of the situation, and maybe even the cold winter air creeping into your bones that let him move from simply holding you when you woke from your nightmares- to him warming your bed at night even when you dreamed of nothing but the scar beside his lip. 

Still, you let him know you despised him every night that he pulled your body against his chest and every morning that he rubbed his warm hands up and down your arms. Even as you felt yourself leaning into his touch, felt your heart softening at how he’d mutter apologies into your hair while he thought you were asleep, how he’d pay attention to the foods you took more of and made sure to get twice the amount next time, how he’d shred his own shirts to provide you with cloth for when you got your monthly cycles. Yet, you couldn’t find any other words to say to him. 

𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙥𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚- 𝙌𝙪𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙐𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 𝙂𝙤𝙙𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙛𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙨, 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝, 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣

You had woken up alone as you did on most mornings, grateful that you wouldn’t have to face the shame that came with having your limbs tangled with him. The day was like any other yet different, perhaps it was the monotonous dread of living a life such as this- of having to live at all after being stripped of everything you had called yours.

You had somehow ended up taking steps outside of the wooden door, outside of the small garden the burly man used to grow his own vegetables, and even farther outside the vines and shrubs that kept the cabin hidden from any unwanted visitors.

You had walked and walked till your feet carried you to the edge of the world, a never ending fall down below from where you stared at, the sound of water flowing signalling the presence of a river running deep under the steep cliff.

You had stopped walking, the silence of the forest being the only noise to have outdone the heavy emptiness in your heart in months. And you simply continued to stand there, bare feet digging into the dirt and grass and stone, barely realising when the light faded away and darkness took over. Hadn’t it always been like this? 

It had taken no more than two rounds of the house and the trail of footsteps in the garden out back for Toji to realise you had left. His heart had dropped into his chest as he had followed the dents of your feet in the ground, careful not to step on them as his mind bitterly reminded him that it may be the last of what’s left of you by now.

He knew where the trail you had walked along led- had himself sat on the edge of it once, legs dangling off as he his mind had replayed the memory of your glossy eyes and crestfallen face when he had hit you with those fatal words months ago. Toji’s breath hitches in his throat, hands shaking as he pulls away the last branch blocking the view of the edge of the cliff. 

His feet are moving faster than his mind can think as he all but falls onto his knees, clutching your abdomen as if you’d disappear forever if he let you go now. You turn around in his arms, a look of confusion on your face, your eyes still as hollow as a void but all he cares about right now is the steady thumping he can feel with his chest pressed to yours. He’s clenching his eyes shut, taking a deep breath before he’s sliding his hand into yours. You don’t protest- letting him lead you back into the warm safety of his house and he’s too relieved to consider whether your lack of resistance is a good thing or not. 

You’re sitting on the edge of the bed and you can hear him ruffling through something in the bathroom, door ajar, eyes glancing towards you every two seconds as if he’s expecting you to bolt out the door any second now. For once, you don’t want to stare at the wall as he walks towards you, getting down on his knees- making a blow of nostalgia hit you right in the gut. But your eyes remain fixed at the top of his head, at the dark locks that had grown out much more since the last time you had let yourself gaze at him. 

You only realise what he’s been doing as you notice the bowl of water kept on the floor, hands gently lifting up your dirty feet, cleaning them of the mud and the blood from small scrapes. He’s lifting up your legs onto the bed once he’s done, adjusting your pillow as a gesture for you to lay down. He’s blowing out the lamps and soon enough you feel the mattress dip, his arms engulfing you tighter than ever before. You can feel the slight tremble in them and you feel guilty for the small pinch in your chest. You wait for his breathing to steady, head to fall limp into the crook of your neck before you roll over towards him in the dark, eyes set on the small crinkle between his forehead and brow. 

The warm hand that cups Toji’s cheek has him convinced that he may have lost his mind. Opening his eyes, he knows for sure that you have. Especially as you slide your other hand into his, pulling it till it’s placed onto the crest between your collarbone and chest, adjusting it a little more towards the left. Toji’s staring intently at you, wondering if this is your way of telling him that you’re still alive- that even though you’ve been cursed and damned to living in this hell, your heart still beats- it still fights. 

Toji bares his own emotions through a gesture- pulling the small hand that holds his to the apex between his upper ribs- pressing it till your fingers feel like they might just pass through his flesh. He hopes you know that if he could, he’d snap each one of his ribs open so that you can reach inside and press the palm of your hand against his beating heart, rip it right out of his body and spit inside the hollow space of his ribs with contempt- even then he’d survive on your hatred alone if it means surviving with you for the rest of his life. 

“I don’t hate you.”

The words are whispered in the dead of the night with no emotion, no trace of forgiveness or affection- simply stated as if they are common knowledge.

The soft lips coming down on his own have his mind spinning. He realises what it is you wish for- to be able to live once again as a human, to feel once again as a mortal- he can almost almost hear you saying the words into his mouth as your fist bunches up the fabric of his shirt. 

“I’m tired of being a god.” 

He can feel his own sentiment being passed right through as his hands slide under the cloth of his shirt that you wore, exploring the expanse of your reverenced skin, mouthing his response against your cupid’s bow.

“I’ll worship you even after you fall from grace.” 

And he does, pulling himself up on arms above you, dipping his fingers into your soaking sex, making quick work of ridding you and himself of your clothes. He’s tucking your legs against your chest, feet dangling over his broad shoulders as he comes forward to meet your lips. He’s pulling away and you’re mewling at the loss of contact- the loss of his taste. 

“Do you want this? Do you want-” He takes a deep breath, forehead coming forward to press against yours till your noses brush against each other, “...me?”

Your response comes in the form of sliding your hands to the back of his head, pulling him forward till his lips crash against yours once more- bucking your hips up till the tip of his massive girth is brushing against your heat. He doesn’t miss the moan that escapes you, eagerly kissing you back, moving to litter a plethora of kisses against your jaw- your neck- your collarbone. When he comes back up to your face, he’s well aware of the effect he’s had on you- the want in your eyes as you lift your hips against his once more, a small plea leaving your mouth. 

The need that comes over him is animalistic as he moves a hand down to position himself before sliding into your soppy hole, he swears he can see stars with how hungrily you swallow him in. You’re gripping his shoulders, nails digging into his skin as he strokes your insides so languidly. Your faces are close enough for you to feel his breath on your mouth, to feel the fall of the hot droplets on your cheeks, your own tears of grief- of freedom- of a love gone to waste so long ago combining as he continues to thrust in and out of you deeply. 

He’s dipping his head and the tears are being kissed away as his hand moves down to play with your over sensitive bud. You can't stop peppering kisses against his lips, moaning his name in his ear as he hits a particular spot inside you. He can feel you getting closer with how your breaths get deeper, fingers moving faster, strokes getting sloppier. 

You feel the tight coil in your stomach start to unravel, and all it takes is for him to lower his head and suction his lips around one of your nipples for you to come apart underneath him. He’s reaching his own arousal soon after, pulling out to spray his seed onto your stomach. He all but collapses on top of you, rolling over to his side once he catches his breath, another hitching in his throat as he finds you crawling onto his lap, legs straddling his waist as you bury your face into his naked chest. 

This is what being a god feels like. The taste of wine coating your tongue and the way his lips meld with yours- swallow you whole and then spit you out. You reach for him again in the dark, his chest panting against yours as the moonlight cascading from the window hits his face. You rest your chin against the centre of his chest, looking up at him with droopy eyes, his own stare right back at you- filled with tenderness and affection. 

“No one will ever hurt you again, I promise.” 

His voice is gruff and heavy, but carries a sincerity warm enough to send tingles down your back. You can’t quite place the look on his face, it's determined- pointed. You can feel the unravelling of the violence beneath his skin as his hand comes to cradle your jaw, and you wonder just what kind of monsters the god of the underworld plans to unleash.

His hand moves to caress the back of your head, adoration-filled eyes raking over your still panting figure. He presses his lips to your temple and says your name like a prayer. It all floods in- the pain- the love- the sorrow- the joy- you’re sobbing and he’s holding you like he has time and again. Only this time, he finds himself awestruck by the spark of ember that comes alive in your eyes, even if just for a second, he knows you’re going to be fine. 

-

The god of the dead had bowed before you, offered you his crown, his throne- would have ripped off the flesh from his own back and handed it to you without any hesitation if only you asked. 

You were the goddess of spring and everyone had loved your life and light, but who except him had acknowledged the death and destruction that came along- had reached out their hands into the rotten parts of your flesh and kissed every bruise and scar?

This was Toji Fushiguro’s life now, coming back home to his precious darling each day- the only burst of spring in his everlasting winter, the only ray of light in his world swallowed by darkness.

Tonight, as you lay on him bare-bodied and covered in sweat from your previous feat, he finds you asking him about the season, about how far the harvest festival was. He’s confused at your sudden curiosity but answers you nonetheless, telling you it’s in a fortnight. He finds himself asking why. 

“Every single member of our blood attends the festival- they had waited for it while they kept me away.” 

It’s the first time you’re talking about the incident and he can feel you quiver in his arms. It makes his blood boil, and he finds himself protectively pulling you even closer into him. 

“...they had wanted each and every single one of them to get a chance to cut through my skin.” 

That’s all you say before falling asleep, the tears on Toji’s chest making a storm of anger rage inside his mind. 

--

It’s a fortnight later and Toji watches the red and orange hues of the flames making your face glow brighter than the sun. 

You’re standing there hand-in-hand with him, looking over the half wrecked ruins of the village, the screams of the people you had grown up with- who had taken no less than a second to turn their backs on you- who had left you to die- now echoing in your ears. Right on the edge of the hilltop you stand on, you see a small figure running towards the slope, clothes burnt, high pitched sobs filling the air as it succumbs to the heat that had spread through it’s bones.  

She must’ve been eight or nine years old judging from her size and half burnt frills of the frock she wore. You know she’s at peace, much like the many others who would’ve faced nothing but agonising hardships being raised in the hands of your cruel persecutors- all of whom lay as nothing but bones and ash and dust now. 

Toji’s worried that he’ll find the same emptiness he’s spent months breaking through as he glances over at your face. Instead, there’s a fire being reflected in your eyes, a sadistically deliciously smile stretched across your supple cheeks. He finds his own lips curving as he grips your jaw to turn your head and press his lips to yours, the screams and shouts of your monsters merely anything but white noise as your fingers come to tangle in his hair. 

After all, Hades may have been the god of the dead, but it was Persephone’s wrath which brought upon the destruction.

© suna-reversed — all rights reserved. please refrain from modifying, translating, reposting of any kind. plagiarism will NOT be tolerated.

credit- prompt list

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#jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk smut #jjk tw #jjk angst #jjk hcs #toji angst #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji smut #toji x you #jujutsu kaisen x you #toji fluff #gojo smut #sukuna smut #hades persephone retelling

[im-a-slut-for-fluff]

It’s called a sour jar Buck

Not my gif

Last short fic from my witchy!reader stories! All others are posted! They can be read separately. I wrote this on my phone so I apologize for any mistakes. This one is my favorite! Enjoy!

Warnings: curse words?

Bucky x reader

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

It was a quiet evening. No one had anything to do. No bad guys making big moves. No apocalyptic events. These days are few and far between so the team took it upon themselves to have a relaxation day. Even steve let everyone out of training early.

The majority of them were sprawled across the sofas in the common room, lounging about and silently entertaining themselves. Well remember when I said it was a quiet evening? Key word being WAS here.

A loud slam from the kitchen jolted everyone from their own little worlds. “What is that?” Nat asked. Everyone shook their heads also wondering if they should get in fight mode. The slams became louder and louder along with some grumbled curse words.

“Is.. Is that y/n?“ Tony asked. It couldn’t be y/n could it? Their own resident sunshine that was always butterflies and rainbows. They all looked around at each other gazes landing on a wincing Bucky. Those gazes quickly turned accusatory.

“Oh god what did you do?” Wanda whisper yelled, her eyes flickering a tiny bit of red. If y/n was mad it has to have been something bad “I swear it was an accident! Honestly I-“ he was cut off by a particularly loud slam followed by a groan of annoyance and a “Men are so stupid I swear to god!”

Steve stood up and put his hands on his hips in that classic captain dad pose. “Alright Buck. What did you do to make her so mad?” Bucky sighs and in a very guilty voice admits “Okay I may have… called one of the new agents Doll.” He cringes after admitting it out loud.

“Please tell me it wasn’t the one that flirts with you.” Tony says as he rubs a hand down his face because he can just tell what the answer is gonna be and it’s gonna give him a headache.

Bucky answers with a very ashamed “yes” An uproar of “you idiot” and “I can’t believe you!” And wait did someone just ask Friday for the new agents address?

Wanda stands up eyes now definitely glowing red along with her hands. “Barnes! you absolute ass! Im gonna kill you!” She takes a threatening step forward and Bucky Barnes is a tough man okay. He’s been through a lot and made it out semi okay but a fight with Wanda? He’s still just human so no one can really blame him for shrinking back in his seat and the look of pure fear on his face at the thought of getting tossed around by the angry witch.

Luckily vision steps in front of her quickly with a placating hand on her shoulder. “Wanda honey, don’t you think our priority should be to check on y/n first? She does not seem stable.” And Wanda clearly had an internal battle of deciding whether to choke the life out of Bucky or check on her dear friend. Fortunately for Bucky, she chose the latter.

Everyone made their way towards the kitchen preparing for they don’t even know what. Y/n has never been like this before. With Steve at the lead he got the first glimpse and let out an “oh dear god” which only further worried everyone else making them push forward to see what was happening.

Of all the things they expected to see it definitely was not this. There y/n was stomping around the kitchen. Was she cooking? They surveyed the kitchen counter looking at the mess. Vinegar, hot sauce, garlic, lemon juice, rusty nails? And a paper that clearly has JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES written on it.

They all stayed silent for a second confused as to what was happening as y/n continued cursing under her breath. Then all of a sudden Tony and Wanda made eye contact and started laughing. Which in turn startled y/n not know she had gained an audience until then.

“Oh man, you are in such big trouble.” Tony said looking at Bucky. Then turning to y/n who now had pure rage on her face noticing Bucky was there as well. “Please continue sweetheart! He deserves it.” Tony added as he continued to laugh and waltzed out of the kitchen.

Wanda shouldered past Bucky as well who to be honest looked like a lost puppy right now, “guess I don’t need to kick your ass Barnes, she has it covered.” Flashing him a toothy grin she grabbed a hold of vision and left the kitchen as well.

Y/n went back to slamming her ingredients around as Bucky, Steve and Nat stood there watching. A look of realization crossed Natasha’s features and she too started to chuckle. Buckys frown deepened once again and Steve returned to that captain dad pose directed at Nat. “Okay can someone please explain what is going on? What is so funny? because I’m not getting it.” He huffed.

For the first time y/n spoke up “Yeah Boinky. Why don’t you explain what you did huh?” She yelled. “I already told them and it was an accident I swear! It just slipped out! Please don’t call me Boinky that’s what Sam calls me!” He said in the whiniest voice you would definitely not expect to hear come out of the winter soldier mouth.

Steve once again looked at Nat with that scolding gaze to tell her he’s still waiting for an explanation. Nat rolls her eyes and sighs “she’s making a sour jar. Its pretty self explanatory, it’s revenge for what he did. Get ready for some bad luck barnes! You totally do deserve it.” With a slap to the boys back and a devilish smirk that gave Steve the inkling she still knew something he didn’t, she turns to vacate the room leaving a very angry y/n, a very tired Steve and a very sad Bucky behind.

Steve heavily sighs and starts walking toward y/n with his palms up and arms out like one would when they come across a feral animal.

“Hey, pretty girl. You think we could all talk and calm down? Maybe step away from the rusty nails?” Steve said giving her that gentle smile. Which earned him a indigent huff from Bucky at the choice of nickname he used. She softened slightly because let’s be honest who can say no to Steve Rogers when he uses those baby blues?

“He called her doll steve! DOLL! That’s my name!” She yelled. Though the anger was quickly being replaced with sadness if the quiver of her lip and the crack in her voice was anything to go by. This prompted Steve to step forward and comfort her in a hug. “I know he did y/n/n, but he said he didn’t mean it. Accidents happen right? You know he loves you so so much right?”

Bucky stepped forward itching to hold her but understanding he’s the cause of her state. “I really didn’t mean to baby. I swear on everything I didn’t mean it! I was thinking about you all day and it just slipped out I promise, I don’t even remember her name! You can make a thousand acid jars I don’t care, I just want you.” He pleads with tears forming in his own eyes.

Steve looks back at him and oh so helpfully informs him “it’s called a sour jar Buck.” Bucky huffs not impressed with his best friend at the moment but then he hears a small muffled giggle. And man is that music to his ears. The sweetest sound he’s ever heard. He can’t help but smile even if the joke was at his expense.

Y/n slowly unravels herself from Steve and walks closer to Bucky. “You promise I’m your only doll? That I’m your best girl?” Finally looking into his eyes. Bucky smiles “You’re my only girl doll” they smile at each other and are just about to lean in for a kiss when Tony glides back into the room.

“Sorry to break up the moment kids but Friday just informed me she “accidentally” gave Romanoff that new agents address. And uh, well I looked at camera footage and she just left the armory suited up.”

I guess the avengers don’t know how to do quiet evenings.

Thank you for reading!

#bucky x reader #steve rogers #bucky barnes #avengers fic #avengers x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fic #marvel x reader #the avengers #natasha romanoff #tony stark #wanda maximoff #vison