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roxannarambles · 2 years

Text

title: second chances (chapter one)

ship: goldenlight (luz x hunter)

notes: takes place sometime after ‘reaching out’ but before ‘hollow mind.’ (set in my standard canon-divergent AU where everything’s the same except no L*mity)

summary: Hunter’s doing his best to get the hang of having Penstagram friends, but there’s still one person in particular he’s hoping to reconnect with . . .

Hunter was propped up in bed that evening, his face buried deep in a book, absorbed in reading about the fascinating worlds of mindscapes. He was so enraptured that when he felt a buzzing in his pocket, he startled with a jerk. Then he remembered the source of the buzzing and retrieved the magic scroll he had carefully tucked away. Cautiously, he opened the scroll and took a peek.

Hello_Willow:

Hey, Caleb. How's it hanging?

His eyes narrowed as he studied the text, and he felt a little spike of anxiety. He wasn't sure what the message meant, and decoding the language that witches used on their magic scrolls was something he was still learning to do. He pecked out a reply on the tiny magic keyboard.

Rulerzreachf4n:

whatdoes thast meean,?

Ugh, the little buttons on the screen were really tiny and incredibly difficult to use. After a few moments, he received a reply.

Hello_Willow:

Just asking how you're doing

He blinked, considering the question. How was he doing?

Hmm. It wasn't really something that he was normally asked. He thought about his day. Most of it had been spent doing rather menial tasks, considering what his rank was. Training drills for the junior scouts, a few dull meetings, some paperwork, a brief patrol. The highlight of the day had been when he saw Kikimora trip in the cafeteria and spill her bowl of bone marrow pudding.

Rulerzreachf4n:

im ok i huess, prettty boring day. howearee you,?

Hello_Willow:

Not too bad. Got my midterm back today and got a perfect score, so I'm pretty happy with that.

Hello_Willow:

Oh also, I think we found a replacement for our team!

Hello_Willow:

For until you can make another game, I mean.

Hello_Willow:

He's pretty great, a bit rusty but a lot of potential, I'm confident we can mold him into a master.

After a brief pause, a photo popped up, showing a skinny boy in Flyer Derby uniform practicing on the field. Hunter studied the image for a moment.

Rulerzreachf4n:

isnthat the kid viney wasd so mad. at?obn the opossing tream?

Hello_Willow:

lol yeah, that's jerbo. she made him take an everlasting oath to remain loyal to our team.

Hello_Willow:

I think the Emerald Entrails are gonna have an amazing season. A shame we'll be missing our powerhouse player for most of it, but I'm sure we'll manage just fine in the meantime 🙂

Hunter spent some time just staring at the message. He was still trying to get used to the idea that other witches actually wanted to talk to him and were nice to him. It was a very alien concept, and part of him was still in disbelief it had happened at all.

Rulerzreachf4n:

goos to hear.good. to hear.

Rulerzreachf4n:

ill be watichng the games and cherringfor you guys

Hello_Willow:

Great! We appreciate the support 🧹 🏆

The text was accompanied with an emoji that looked like a little witch riding a staff, and then a little golden trophy. He had no idea how to make the keyboard produce those little pictures, but it made him chuckle a little when he saw Willow's message.

Setting his scroll down, he leaned further back against the headboard of his bed. He let out a sigh, closing his eyes.

It really had been a very strange couple of days.

Hunter wasn't even sure what to make of it. He had been so incredibly focused on a single goal that day he flew out to Hexside. Nothing else mattered except finding out a way to prove himself worthy of his position, of his title. He was ready to do whatever it took to impress Darius. And then maybe once he impressed Darius, Belos would finally start to see him as useful too. He could make up for all his past mistakes and imperfections.

But along the way, something weird happened. He started to enjoy himself, in his little role as a Hexside student. Actually talking to other witches his age. Getting the chance to do something that was just for fun. Even showing off a little.

He didn't expect to become so invested. He didn't expect to get to know those students, to start caring about what happened to them. They were supposed to just be a means to his ends. Nothing more.

He was so certain. So confident in his position, in his role in life. He was the Golden Guard; the Emperor's right-hand man. Devoted, loyal, unwavering.

And yet, that night, he wavered. Things no longer seemed quite so simple and straightforward. He saw the pain in the eyes of the students he'd hauled in, the pain that he'd put there. And eventually, he stood up for them, shielded them from harm, shielded them from the fate of being bound to the Emperor's Coven.

Everything happened so fast that night, as though he wasn't even sure of what he was doing. His own behavior shocked him. It wasn't like him at all. But he didn't regret it, he realized. Even if Darius had punished him, he would have still done it.

And now, through some bizarre quirk, he had his first real friends. At least, he was pretty sure he did. The gaggle of Hexside students he helped escape could have easily just ignored him and gone back to their lives as usual. And yet, they didn't. They had "followed" him on Penstagram and would send him messages on occasion. They knew exactly what Hunter had done, and yet they still forgave him in the end. Not only that, but they wanted to remain in contact.

Hunter picked up the scroll that was resting on the bed beside him. Flicking through, he brought the page up that had the group photo of their team winning. He smiled faintly, at how happy everyone was, all together in their team uniforms.

"Friends," Hunter muttered, still in awe of such a concept applying to him. With a warm little flutter in his chest, he set the scroll back down and smiled.

But after a few moments, his thoughts strayed to somewhere new.

Friends . . .

His mind flashed to one person in particular. A girl who had occupied his thoughts for many, many weeks, despite all of his efforts to forget about her. He felt the familiar twinge of regret thinking back to her.

I thought you might've been a good guy. But I guess that was just wishful thinking. You're not my friend, you're just the Golden Guard.

It had been such a strange feeling when she'd said it to him, like a knife twisting in his chest. At first, he didn't even understand why it had hurt so much. Why should he care what she thought of him? She was nothing. Just some meddling human who had strayed too far and foolishly blundered into the demon realm.

She was so ridiculous and weird and foolish, running into everything without even thinking. So soft and weak. So . . . strangely good at thinking on her feet and solving problems. So weirdly effective at standing up to him with her own skills. So intriguing and different. So footloose and fancy-free. So wild. So unlike anyone he'd ever met before.

So willing to reach out, even to a person like him.

Hunter had tried to forget about her. But he couldn't seem to shake her from his mind. During the day, it was easy enough. He could occupy his mind with his duties, keep his thoughts disciplined and rigorously in check. At night, though, when the hour grew late and his body was weary, his mind would always wander. And he would think of her.

She was the first person who had ever really tried to understand him sincerely. To treat him like something other than merely a means to some an end or an adversary to defeat. She had treated him like . . . like his thoughts and feelings mattered. That fateful night, he had found himself responding to it, and he'd ended up telling her things he'd never should have, but the words had tumbled out of him anyway. He found himself wanting to trust her. Wanting her to know him. And wanting to know her, too. Perhaps for the very first time, wanting a genuine friend.

He had turned on her though, the first moment opportunity had arrived-- ever the loyal soldier. And so he crushed the opportunity of friendship to dust.

Hunter huffed in disgust at himself, crossing his arms. He laid here now in his room and had the gall to wonder if she still might consider being his friend. To dare have that hope. To think, just because he'd gained friendship with some students who were also her friends, that they might somehow sway her. What a selfish, stupid thing to hope for.

He was better off without her, anyhow. It was just too complicated. She made him question so many things. He'd barely spent any time with her at all, and yet even with the briefest of contacts, she'd somehow gotten into his head and never gotten back out. He was indulging in reading more and more about wild magic, he was bonded to a palisman. He was doubting the ways the Emperor’s Coven was running things, he was questioning and hesitating and even defying the Coven, in small little ways that were adding up.

Hunter pressed his hands against his face, closing his eyes and rubbing them. It was late, and his thoughts were dancing along a dangerous path again like they often did at this hour. Playing back the memories-- the melodic lilt of her laughter, the mischievous glint in her gold-brown eyes, the silly little smile when she'd leaned in and spoke excitedly to him about wild magic.

Could she ever . . . consider him a friend?

"Stop it," Hunter mumbled to himself, trying to extinguish the glimmer of hope flickering inside him.

There was a gentle buzzing sound from beside him.

He leaned back up and picked the scroll up. It was a new message from Willow.

Hello_Willow:

btw I gave your contact info to Luz, hope you don't mind

Hello_Willow:

she was asking about you earlier

Hunter felt all the air exit his lungs. Frantically, his fingers tapped the little keyboard.

Rulerzreachf4n:

wwswaitwhrt

Rulerzreachf4n:

what

Rulerzreachf4n:

ewhat was she askijng?

He stared intensely at the screen as he waited for Willow to type out a reply.

Hello_Willow:

Kinda everything, she freaked out when she learned about our little adventure on wednesday

Hello_Willow:

She wanted me to tell her everything that happened and what I thought of you and everything you said and stuff

Hello_Willow:

oh and she kept asking for the videos of our game

"Uhh," Hunter grunted, trying to keep his pounding heart under control. What did that mean? Did that mean anything? Oh, Titan, was she actually going to contact him?

Rulerzreachf4n:

duid she seem mad ir somejing?

Hello_Willow:

Mad? No, I don't think so

Hello_Willow:

More like, surprised

Ok, ok. Surprised wasn't bad, necessarily. Honestly, it didn't tell him a lot, though. He made a frustrated noise.

Hello_Willow:

Should I not have told her?

He quickly reassured her.

Rulerzreachf4n:

n o its fine,.

After a few minutes, he received another reply.

Hello_Willow:

Ok.

Hello_Willow:

Well I have an early day tomorrow so I'll talk to you later, Caleb

Rulerzreachf4n:

Hunter tried not to let it bother him, but he had more than a little difficulty falling asleep that night.

Next morning, after smacking the tiny demon that acted as his alarm clock to silence it, he grumbled and rolled over, not really feeling keen to leap out of bed at the crack of dawn like usual. A few minutes later there was a buzzing from his nightstand. Tiredly, he reached over to check it.

Hello_Willow:

Good morning!

Hello_Willow:

Clover was looking real cute so I had to share 😊

There was a picture of the little bee creature sleeping in its own tiny bed. He had to admit, it was pretty cute. Not as cute as Flapjack, of course.

Crawling out of bed and stretching, he was about to grab his cape off his chair, but noticed Flapjack curled up adorably inside it. His heart melting, he grabbed his scroll and snapped several pictures.

Then he messed about with the scroll, trying to figure out how to send the photo to Willow. While he was in the midst of trying to work this out, the scroll buzzed and a new message popped up. It wasn't from Willow, though. Hunter opened it.

THEOWLLADY:

Are you good now?

THEOWLLADY:

Is Belos evil?? You can tell me!

THEOWLLADY:

Also hi!

THEOWLLADY:

It's Luz!

Hunter balked, his heart leaping as he read the words, immediately falling into a panic. Oh Titan, it was her, what-- what should he say?

Luz proceeded to bombard him with a series of emoji.

THEOWLLADY:

👻⛈️🌸☘️🌈

THEOWLLADY:

🦖✨🎉💥🦇

He felt his face warm and he quickly grew irritated with himself. This was ridiculous, she was just-- this was-- this was too much, it was too early in the morning for him to deal with this human! And who did she think she was, talking to him like they were old buddies or whatever?

His fingers fumbled as he tried to type.

Rulerzreachf4n:

LEAVE.ME ALONE

In his rush to reply, he accidentally sent the picture of Flapjack to her. Embarassed, he struggled with the keyboard to salvage the mistake.

Rulerzreachf4n:

sORry.wrong.person.,.

A few seconds later (how did she type so fast??) Luz answered back,

THEOWLLADY:

Omg he's ADORABLE!! lookit the cutie wootie lil rascal birbie baby boyy~~~

Hunter glared at the scroll, writing a response.

Rulerzreachf4n:

thaT's NOT His naME1!

Rulerzreachf4n:

hiS nanes is flapjack

He waited for several moments before he received an abrupt reply.

THEOWLLADY:

sorry hunter gtg for now something came up

THEOWLLADY:

talk to u later 😄😄😄

And that was it. He stared at his scroll for a little while, feeling confused and annoyed. Seriously? She was just gonna drop that on him and leave? What was even going through her head?

Hunter's alarm demon started shrieking again, and he jerked in surprise. Reaching over, he whacked it into silence again. Damnit, he always forgot when he left that thing on snooze.

Dropping the scroll, he sighed and rubbed his face. He had things to do, he needed to forget about this nonsense.

He didn't receive another message from her until two days later. It arrived in the early evening, when Hunter had just gotten off his patrol shift. He read it after he'd reached his room and removed his armor and gear.

THEOWLLADY:

Hey Hunter, it's Luz. I wanted to apologize for the other day

THEOWLLADY:

I wasn't really in the greatest mindset at the time I texted you

THEOWLLADY:

And I thought about it later and realized how it probably came off

THEOWLLADY:

probably looked like the only reason I wanted to talk to you was so I could use you for information

THEOWLLADY:

and that was really crappy of me. I'm sorry.

He sat down on the foot of his bed, and the scroll soon buzzed again.

THEOWLLADY:

anyway. willow told me about the whole flyer derby thing.

There was a long pause, the window displaying a series of three dots that indicated she was in the middle of typing. Then, after all that waiting, the message that popped up was rather short.

THEOWLLADY:

you guys looked really cool out there

Hunter gazed at his scroll for a very long time, feeling conflicted and overwhelmed. He had no idea how to proceed with the conversation-- or if he even wanted to reply.

All right, that last part was a lie. Of course he wanted to reply. But with what?

The scroll buzzed in his hands.

THEOWLLADY:

it was nice seeing you look so happy. you have a nice smile

Hunter swallowed, his face growing a little warm. More messages quickly followed.

THEOWLLADY:

anyway aahgain sorry aboutbefore

THEOWLLADY:

I'm gonna go have dinner,see you around I guess

THEOWLLADY:

or not, you're not obligated to answer or anything

THEOWLLADY:

so. yeah. bye

The scroll fell silent after that. Hunter tried for a while to formulate some sort of reply, but eventually he gave up and chickened out. He went back to his evening and tried to put it out of his mind. Somehow, he was able to do so pretty successfully.

Until the hour grew very late. It was 1:20am when Hunter finished his nightly reading and found his mind swimming in thoughts. He stared at the scroll sitting on his bed for a while, internally debating with himself.

Eventually, he reached out and grabbed it, flicking open the messenger window and typing.

He had a little more practice now with the awkward keyboard, so he was able to produce clearer messages, thankfully.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I didnt mean for itn to happen

Rulerzreachf4n:

I was just tryong to recruit some stidents to please my superiors

Rulerzreachf4n:

I dodnt expect it tobe...

Rulerzreachf4n:

kinda fun. didnt expect to get tto know them.

He paused for a moment. He didn't think Luz would be awake at this hour, and honestly, that was a blessing. He wanted to get it all out before he changed his mind.

Rulerzreachf4n:

Iwas going to turn them in anyway.

Rulerzreachf4n:

except. this time,I realized how stupid I was being.

Rulerzreachf4n:

when i was standing there, looking at them in the cell

Rulerzreachf4n:

at how hurt and betrayed they looked, i remembered the last time Id done that.

Rulerzreachf4n:

how much i s crewed things up.

Rulerzreachf4n:

so I tried to fix it before it was too late.

Rulerzreachf4n:

and. somehow they forgave me. orat least, i think they did.

Rulerzreachf4n:

so i giess I have friends.now.

Rulerzreachf4n:

i guess.whatever that means. im still not sure.

He stopped typing, his mind drifting on recent events. He was so lost in thought that it took him a moment to even realize that the little 'busy' dots had appeared on-screen. His eyes widened. A few moments later, messages appeared.

THEOWLLADY:

I'm glad you finally found some people you could connect with. that's honestly really cool.

THEOWLLADY:

i probably did a pretty lousy job at trying to reach out to you, anyway. but I'm glad you found people you really vibe with.

Hunter felt that now-familiar sensation; guilt and regret twisting in his chest like a knife. In the past, he'd always ignored it, but tonight was going to be different. He wasn't going to ignore it this time.

Before he could think the better of it, he started tapping on the scroll and just kept going.

Rulerzreachf4n:

no, you dont get it. thats not it at all.

Rulerzreachf4n:

titan, you have no idea. i think about that day in latissa so much.

Rulerzreachf4n:

youre like no one i've ever met before. and. everything changed atfer that day. i .

Rulerzreachf4n:

i started quetstioning everything and.

Rulerzreachf4n:

you were right about the palismen. i was an idiot. they aree alive. they're not just mindless tools.

Rulerzreachf4n:

they have souls. and youre, the first person to make me stop and think like that.

Rulerzreachf4n:

but not just that, the first person i actually....

Rulerzreachf4n:

i dont know, the first one i felt i really wanted to truist and get to know

Rulerzreachf4n:

but i threw it all away like an idiot.

He looked at his own messages, surprised he'd vomited all that information out.

Well. If he was being honest, he may as well go all the way.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I'm sorry. I stole those palismen, i took that key, i did all that stuff just so i could get belos' approval. didnt stop to think about who it was hurting.

Rulerzreachf4n:

it was for the greater good, buit. i didn't even try to figure out if there were other ways to do it., ways that could abvoid hurting others like that

Rulerzreachf4n:

i'm not looking for forgiveness,. I just wanted you to know i'm sorry.

After that, he put the scroll down, deciding he'd better stop before he spilled his guts even more. He hoped Luz would simply ignore him, because that would be the easiest outcome. He'd wake up tomorrow and just go about his day.

However, the scroll buzzed again after a minute or two. He was afraid to look.

THEOWLLADY:

hey so um about that

THEOWLLADY:

you said you threw away your chance to be friends, but.

THEOWLLADY:

what if I just....give you another one?

He stared at the messages, puzzled.

Rulerzreachf4n:

what?

She clarified quickly.

THEOWLLADY:

A second chance at your first friend, you know?

THEOWLLADY:

How's that sound?

He felt his heart squeeze in his chest, but it seemed far too good to be true. People like him didn't get second chances. They didn't deserve them.

Still, after gazing at her texts for a while, he replied with nervous fingers.

Rulerzreachf4n:

do you really mean that?

She answered immediately.

THEOWLLADY:

yeah. I do.

He was tempted to just agree to it; oh, how he was tempted. But he knew things weren't as simple as she was making them to be. Swallowing the bitter feeling in this throat, he carefully wrote out his answer.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I don't think you get it. I'm still the Golden Guard. I can't give that up, I still think Belos is building a better future for everyone. i dont agree with everything he does but. i'm not gonna betray him. Would you still want to be my friend, knowing that?

He waited tensely in silence for her answer. When it came, however, it wasn't what he expected.

THEOWLLADY:

I understand.

THEOWLLADY:

I don't think he has the good of others in mind, but I accept that we disagree on that.

THEOWLLADY:

I won't try to force you to change.

THEOWLLADY:

like, full disclosure, I still will talk about Belos, but I won't try to force you to change your mind.

His brow furrowed as he tried to comprehend her perspective. Was it really that simple? It didn't make a lot of sense to him. How could she consider him a friend when he still was technically her enemy?

He thought about it for a while, and realized the other Hexside students he'd befriended had basically already done the same thing. Perhaps he just didn't understand friendship very well.

Eventually, despite his nervousness over the whole situation, he decided he wasn't going to turn down his second chance. Not this time.

He awkwardly typed out a reply.

Rulerzreachf4n:

ok,well. then i guess..I guess if you really want to. it would be ok with me to. be friends.

The human followed up with an explosion of colorful emoji, the screen scrolling to accomodate all the pictures, before answering with a normal text.

THEOWLLADY:

awesome!! ok so as your new bestie I must tell you that the name of your palisman is the most adorable thing to ever exist ohmygod FLAPJACK I LOVE IT you made his name a PUN and an amazing one!

THEOWLLADY:

seriously. it's so good.

A little thrown off by the sudden topic switch, he took a moment to process.

Rulerzreachf4n:

well I didnt actually name him

Rulerzreachf4n:

he told me that was his na,me

Rulerzreachf4n:

I actuallydont even know what a flapjack is

Rulerzreachf4n:

i asked belos and he said itwas a kind of pancake?

She seemed to be incredibly tickled with this.

THEOWLLADY:

wait seriously?? oh man, hunter, we need to make you some

THEOWLLADY:

when you visit I'll make you some pancakes, they're so good, it's like a human delicacy

THEOWLLADY:

might take me a bit to find the right flour in the demon realm but I know I can do it

Hunter fumbled with the keyboard, typing out,

I cant.really, well. I'm not.

He erased it and started again, flustered.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I cant just go and visit you, people wouldnotice

THEOWLLADY:

Oh right right, sorry, didn't mean to overstep

THEOWLLADY:

No worries, we can do it at some point in the theoretical future when the whole island isnt in the grips of uhhh. all that repressive regime stuff etc etc

THEOWLLADY:

Or hey I can send you the recipe, it's really easy!

Hunter groaned, feeling like he was getting emotional whiplash talking to this girl. He wondered if he would regret agreeing to all of this.

THEOWLLADY:

it's weird that your palisman's named after a human thing though, now that I think about it

THEOWLLADY:

did he tell you anything about his previous witch? were they the one who named him?

THEOWLLADY:

ah crap sorry if that's prying or anything

THEOWLLADY:

I'm just very curious, you can tell me if I'm asking too many questions

The thing of it was, she was right. It was strange, and it had been something he'd wondered about.

Rulerzreachf4n:

When I asked him about his previous witchj, hedidnt want to talk about it

Rulerzreachf4n:

I think it's kind of painful for him to think about.

THEOWLLADY:

oh, I see. that makes sense. most of the palismen the bat queen takes care of probably have some pretty painful memories.

THEOWLLADY:

well, I'm glad he found you. he seems happy.

Hunter smiled faintly, glancing over at the palisman snoozing on his bedpost.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I'm glad too.

After a few minutes, he received a few final messages for the night.

THEOWLLADY:

Well I'm gonna try to get some sleep, but it was nice talking to you.

THEOWLLADY:

See you later, Hunter.

He gazed hesitantly at the scroll, still surprised at how the evening had turned out. Was this something that would actually last? He had no idea.

But in the moment, he decided to be hopeful.

Rulerzreachf4n:

yeah.

Rulerzreachf4n:

I'll see you later.

Part Two

#toh #the owl house #goldenlight #lunter #huntceda #goldenluz #luz x hunter #hunter x luz #goldenlight fanfic

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vertigovampires · 8 months

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So small update I have a total of 10 pages of the book so far and a working title about 13 more pages to go before first chapter is finished honestly super proud had to put writing on pulse while I went to my adventure game but I’m back and on top of keeping the pages flowing here a little snippet of one of my favorite parts in the prologue!!

———

I knelt down clawing at stones and digging through the hot ash that burned my hands, my vision started to blur was the heat that intense that it stung my eyes, or was just crying.

———

It’s not much but thought a little teaser would be fun to share as I work on this. So I wanted to give a little bit of context on where the book that I’m working on, is inspired from and how much information I can dive into this .

So about two-ish years ago my partner and I started doing a talk PG not game canon but while we were playing curse of strahd table top over two years, I built a whole world, history names of different parts, and a world map along with multiple characters, side characters, and among other things A shit ton of lore. I have enough information that I feel like I can write a decent fanfiction. I used to be a big fan fiction reader but always felt like the books kind of felt quick unrealistic to an extent to a point where it felt rushed there’s nothing wrong with that but I wanted to write some thing that was a slow burn. Kind of like Dracula minus in journal entries because let’s be honest that’s really hard to get through especially in this day and age.

I’m pulling from some old fashion, vampiric tropes along with trying to write fantasy for the minority without shoving it in everyone’s faces in a sense what I mean is the protagonist I based off of my own background of my own heritage I think that’s the only time I’m gonna actually mention it because I don’t want it to be some quick grab for people More of a Hey we’re here there’s a short description in the beginning of the book of the protagonist also known as Annalise looks like along with the cast of people who are all mixed about. I’m doing my best to base Strahd and other people who already written as they are. I will not be changing anything about them their luxe I may slightly pull from Romanian history and clothing accuracy, but nothing more.

Apart from that, I’ve always enjoyed fantasy in horror along with D&D and RPG tabletop games.

And pulling a lot of inspiration from many books, movies in DND. I want to do my best but I’m not expecting it to be perfect as this is my first time writing some thing this long I do have dyslexia, so I am asking a couple people to help me correct grammar and spelling. I’m currently using text to speech whilst typing this out on my phone.

It’s a big block to read if you read it through. Thanks so much I’ll be dropping more updates as time goes on.🖤🖤🖤⚔️⚔️⚔️🦇🦇🦇

Love y’all hope you stick with me while I work on this🖤

#goth aesthetic #vampire #curse of strahd #goth vampire #dnd curse of strahd #dnd strahd #dnd character #dnd oc #fanfic #fantasy #book #vampire books #Dracula #my oc art #oc #oc rp #Spotify

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hua-fei-hua · 3 years

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i LOVE naming chapters. rip to everyone who has trouble naming things but i’m different

#especially love it when chapter titles in a sequence make a little fun thing #y'know like building / crumbling / rising --> reflects the phoenix cycle #the sun / the moon / the truth --> 'only three things cannot be hidden for long'#searching / for you / forever --> just a neat little phrase c:#although i didn't actually title the orchid epilogue 'forever' it was a strong consideration #huh wow it's only really happened in orchid huh #though i do have at least one chapter title sequence planned for zenith #everything under the sun / the face in the moon / the truth of stars #for a sun / moon / truth thing AND sun / moon / stars thing #god i'm so so so so so so excited for that part of the story it's god a mad plot twist #one time i read a book where the chapter titles were an actual canon part of the story #and if you didn't read them you'd sometimes be a little confused it was SUPER NEAT in my opinion #ever since i wanted to write a fic where each chapter title flows seamlessly into the story #like maybe not confuse you if you don't read them but it would be SUPER COOL #extra added challenge of having the chapter titles tell a mini story in themselves #or only named after song lyrics from a certain band. or both those things at the same time #idk man i just love love love taking on little technical challenges like that in writing #but YES I LOVE TITLING CHAPTERS I ALWAYS HAVE FUN REASONING BEHIND MY CHAPTER TITLES #and also titling fics in general is pretty fun for me! star always tell me i have banger titles c':#and i AGREE like they're not really poetic or anything but i am the kind of person who prefers to catch people's eye through light comedy #rather than moving poetry. like yeah i can come up with some banger lines and thoughts but i wanna catch people off guard with them #i feel like having a poetic title makes readers expect a certain kind of tone in what they're reading and i'm too irreverent to deliver that #花話

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andypantsx3 · 3 years

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LAY LOW (TAKE IT SLOW) | 4 | HAWKS x READER

pairing: Takami Keigo (Hawks) / Reader

length: TBD, est. ~20,000 words / 7 chapters

summary: What even was the right google search for this situation? How do I sew someone back together without passing out? How do I not barf on the pro hero I’m stitching up?

Or, Hawks’ game of double agent lands him in the shaky hands of one (1) very unequipped English major.

tags: romance, hurt/comfort, canon divergence, give Hawks a fuckin break pls

warnings: canon typical violence, blood, medical stuff, eventual smut, manga spoilers

Over the next week or so, Hawks kept healing.

He was a steady presence on your couch, nearly always wrapped in his ugly floral throw. He still slept a lot, and you made sure to keep him in raisins and juice whenever he was awake.

He was unobtrusive for the most part, confined to the couch as he was, but you were still overly aware of his presence all of the time. He watched you hawkishly as you went about your daily things, golden eyes following you as you cleaned, as you cooked, as you video chatted your TAs for the lecture notes you had missed.

You were still missing some of your classes, affecting an illness, and you hardly left Hawks by himself. The few exceptions were to go out and get food, or to restock Hawks’ medical supplies. The pharmacy down the street was becoming a regular stop for you, and the cashier who had eyed you suspiciously the first time seemed only to be growing more and more suspicious with every trip.

You ignored her for the most part, though you couldn’t help raising an eyebrow and aggressively adding even more snacks to your order whenever her eyes met yours. You could damn well buy bandages and seaweed chips in your own neighborhood if you wanted to.

You even went out and bought Hawks a couple changes of clothes—things like sweatpants, a pair of jeans, and loose tees he could eventually shred in the back for his wings when he could finally use them again. You tried very hard not to think of the package of men’s underwear you threw in as well.

Hawks seemed to like everything well enough, and you could admit he looked much better in sweatpants that didn’t look like they were one wrong flex away from giving up the ghost.

Eventually, Hawks passed some kind of threshold where he was awake more often than he was asleep, and it was then that he started to seem a little restless.

“Is it okay if I borrow some of your books, sweetheart?” he asked one afternoon, when you were crammed up at your counter, ostensibly working on a paper, but mostly just laying your head against the cool tile and groaning loudly, while more soup bubbled on the stove.

You looked up, startled. “Yeah, of course, help yourself.”

He made a little noise of thanks. You watched him as he got up from the couch with one hand braced on the arm, making his way gingerly over to your overstuffed bookshelves. He lingered there for a long time, then, seeming lost.

It dawned on you that Hawks probably didn’t have a lot of free time, and you didn’t know if reading was actually one of his hobbies. He always, always seemed to be in the news, multiple times a day, like he was permanently out on patrol. He honestly might not have even had time for hobbies. If it were you, you would probably go home and pass out immediately after a long, intensely demanding shift like that, leaving very little time for anything other than sleep and the occasional protein bar. You could barely manage a day of classes without sometimes needing a fat nap.

“Uh, the ones on the bottom shelf are for class,” you said. “Not many of them are good. I’m doing a course on comparative representations of heroism in Japanese and English literature, though, if that interests you. Those books are on the left.”

Hawks leaned down carefully, with a slow-drawn grunt, golden eyes flickering over the titles.

Eventually he turned back, lifting a very battered copy of The Beggar’s Opera in his hand, raising a fluffy eyebrow. “This doesn’t seem to fit in,” he said. The dandy on the cover, combed and rouged as he was, cut a very stark contrast to the other Beowulf-like volumes that lined the rest of the shelf.

You nodded, grinning. “We just finished that the day before I found you. It definitely stands out. It’s a satire—horrible to read but interesting to think about. The main character is nothing like heroes in most other literature.”

Hawks looked interested. “Yeah?” he asked absently, flipping the volume around to scan the back cover.

“The main character is a thief and a murderer. He’s definitely awful, and he breaks nearly every law in the country,” you recapped. “But you feel strangely compelled to like him, and you can easily end up reading his actions as heroic. The system he functions within is so corrupt and so horribly absent of compassion that you end up rooting for him to beat that system. You also realize he has his own moral code, and he sticks to it, even if it doesn’t align with the legal code of the city.”

Hawks’s eyes flashed up to yours, and he stared at you for a long moment. The corner of his mouth curled thoughtfully. “Interesting,” he said, lightly, although you thought you detected some strange note in his tone.

You almost continued with snippets of the lecture from your class, the idea that a hero is determined mostly through the lens via which he is presented, which was the thesis your entire course was definitely building towards. But Hawks’s gaze was still lit thoughtfully on the back cover of the book, and he was shuffling back towards your couch like he meant to sit down and read it.

You left him alone, returning to your paper.

By the time you finally looked back up from the closing lines of your paper, Hawks was laid out on the couch, back under his flowered blanket, and he’d worked his way through nearly the entire thing. By the end of it, you knew you’d been glassy-eyed and bored out of your mind, but Hawks seemed to be enjoying himself. His eyes tracked over the page, quick and alert, and you watched an eyebrow go up as he met with some interesting passage or another.

And that was the beginning of things.

The Beggar’s Opera was apparently the gateway to the rest of your bookshelf. Over the course of the next few days, Hawks started working his way through the books for your Heroism in Lit course.

It seemed to relax him, taking the edge off of his restless energy, and a lot of the books were long enough or knotty enough that they took up most of his day. You started to be able to return to class, though you taped the lectures more often than not as your thoughts were still a little preoccupied with the pro hero back at your apartment.

The pro hero in question always turned out to be fine, though he was rapidly devastating your stores of shrimp chips when left to his own devices. But it didn’t completely stop you from worrying that one day you were going to walk in, only to find him long gone.

Hawks also didn’t seem to mind you replaying your lectures every other night while you cooked dinner, and one night while you were working through a recording of your Heroism in Lit class, you realized he’d put his book down to listen along with you.

“He’s interesting, your professor,” Hawks said, throwing you a slow, lazy grin over the back of the couch.

You tamped down the hot flush that threatened to wash through you, focusing instead on what he’d said rather than how he’d smiled.

You imagined it was especially interesting to a pro hero, as your professor was ruminating on the specifics of his own profession, the tropes, the narrative framing, and moral questions surrounding heroics and humanity.

“He’s a retired pro,” you said. “Fourth generation quirk user, he said he was pretty low level. But you can tell he’s thought on it for his entire life, and he’s still looking for answers.”

Surprisingly, Hawks looked like he understood completely. “I think these days, a lot of people are.”

It was true. Things were still so unstable, even though Endeavor had stepped up to fill the All Might-shaped hole that had been left in hero society. You could only imagine the kind of pressure someone like Hawks would feel, as the number two hero in a society still freshly-wounded.

For the millionth time, you wondered why he was still here on your couch, instead of getting himself healed up by a professional with a quirk. Why he wasn’t rushing back off to rejoin hero society. And why, as far as you could tell, hero society also hadn’t yet seemed to make significant note of his absence.

You heard a soft thump as Hawks shifted his blanket off of him, and then he was standing, gingerly moving over towards the kitchen. You caught a whiff of your own shampoo as he leaned over you, and your breath caught in your lungs at his proximity. Now that he didn’t need help over to your shower anymore, you’d been doing your best to keep your distance from him, and you’d started to forget the height and breadth of him.

But now, with him so near and so warm, it was impossible to think of anything else.

“What’re you cooking over here, sweetheart?” he asked, surveying all the ingredients you’d been laying out on the counter.

You pinched yourself on the leg, scraping your brains together into some semblance of order again.

“I’m thinking oyakodon with rice and some kind of veggie side, if that’s okay,” you said. “I think it’s time to move on from soup.”

Hawks smiled, another charming grin, slow and easy. “I was beginning to think that was all you ate.”

You gave him a sour look. “It’s good for you. And a couple weeks ago you were literally dying over there, you needed all the dietary help you could get.”

He didn’t argue. “So what can I help with?”

You stared at him. “What?”

“With cooking. Fair warning, I’m a shit cook, but I think if you show me what to do I can manage,” he said.

You blinked at him. “You want to help. With cooking.”

He smiled again, leaning in. His eyes always had that sharp, mischievous tilt at the corner, but he looked especially playful now. “Not like I’m busy with much else at the moment.”

He wasn’t wrong, but the idea still floored you. The number two hero, a man renowned for one of the world’s deadliest quirks, wanted to faff about in your kitchen like a happy housewife. The thought was almost too strange for your brain to fully process.

“Um, sure. Though the recipe is super easy and really only needs one set of hands…”

Hawks shrugged. “Then you tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

And then his hand was on your shoulder, steering you over to the stools at your counter and pressing you down into one. You were too shocked by the casual touch to do anything but let him, your brain rerouting entirely to how strong and warm his hand was.

“Okay, what’s first, sweetheart?” he asked, once you were settled.

You scrubbed a hand over your warm cheeks. “Um, okay. First I was gonna make spinach ohitashi for the side and let it sit in the fridge to absorb. You first need to blanch it.”

Hawks looked mystified, as if you’d just spoken to him in another language.

You stifled a laugh. A shit cook indeed. “It means you need to boil it and then shock it in ice right after, so you’re going to want to boil some water.”

He seemed to find that straightforward enough, and set a bot to boiling on your stove. You directed him to your freezer for ice and a cabinet for a bowl to set it in with some cold water.

While you waited, you also set him to slicing the chicken and onion for the oyakodon, a move which proved a complete mistake. As good as he was at slashing up villains, he apparently had little experience with an actual kitchen knife, and it took a lot of careful instruction on the method and angle to stop him from massacring your dinner.

Halfway through, he turned and brought the cutting board over in front of you so he could chat with you more easily, and resumed his work cutting things up under your watchful gaze. He flashed you another charming grin, pleased, when you finally approved of his technique. You pretended like the sight didn’t make you feel like you might float right out of your own skin.

Hawks managed the rice cooker on his own, which was somewhat of a miracle. He also ate some of the spinach right out of the ice water and sent you a cheeky grin when you chided him from the other side of the counter.

“I’m healing—I need all my nutrients, you said it yourself,” he said, chuckling a little when you gave him your driest of looks. But he dutifully wrung the rest out and sliced it under your direction.

Dinner took a little bit longer and was definitely turning out a little uglier than if you’d prepared it yourself, but you couldn’t bring yourself to mind. It was kind of fun, ordering Japan’s number two hero around your cramped little kitchen and watching him struggle with the basics. Hawks actually seemed to be enjoying himself, too, in the strange, mildly surprising way he also seemed to have enjoyed your heroic lit books, and it made you wonder again at the strangeness of his life compared to yours.

How had he been living, before you had found him, that reading and cooking were new and interesting experiences to him? Had he had any other hobbies, previously, that he enjoyed doing? Or had he lived wholly for his job, as you were beginning to suspect he had?

Eventually, you clambered down from behind the counter to help him fill two bowls with rice and top with the egg and chicken mixture, and brought out the spinach from the fridge, setting everything up at your coffee table again in lieu of a dining table.

The two of you worked pretty well together, side by side, and you couldn’t help but enjoy how strangely domestic it all felt.

Hawks seemed like he was enjoying it too, his smile a little brighter when you settled down at your coffee table to eat.

“Damn, I could give Lunch Rush a run for his money,” he said after scarfing down his first few bites.

You laughed. Dinner was passable, if slightly overdone, but he looked genuinely proud of himself and you didn’t have the heart to tease him too much.

“And you didn’t even need a quirk,” you said. “Just a whole lot of direction.”

Hawks laughed, and said something fresh back that made you kick him gently under the table. That descended into some good-natured snarking over the top of the food, which eventually evened out into a strangely easy discussion of the books he’d been reading.

It was so interesting, hearing an actual professional hero’s opinions on the curriculum, someone who had lived and breathed and bled the same way the characters on the page had. He’d gone through the same kind of physical and mental trials, saved probably double the amount of human lives at this point.

And a lot of what he had to say was more insightful than your professor’s commentary—Hawks was a very visible, very prominent figure in the public imagination, the same way heroes like Beowulf were, and that gave him perspective that a lower-tier hero might never have.

By the time you realized dinner had long been finished, and that the two of you had just been talking over empty dishes, the way two actual roommates might, several hours had passed and the two of you had talked yourselves almost all the way to midnight.

You gestured Hawks over to the couch to ready himself for bed, and cleaned up the mess from dinner, packing away leftovers into your fridge. You played the end of your recorded lecture while you cleaned, and Hawks occasionally added his own commentary from over the top of the couch.

It felt almost like cheating, having a pro feeding you first hand knowledge, but you couldn’t bring yourself to mind. If you got an absolute fucking nuclear bomb of a final paper out of this, well then that was just payment for all personal space you were losing out on and the shrimp chips that kept mysteriously disappearing out of your cabinets.

You finished up wiping down your kitchen just as the lecture finished. You turned off the lights, and waved to Hawks as you passed through the living room.

“Night, Hawks,” you said, the way you usually did on your way to your room for the night.

Tonight, however, he didn't reply immediately, the way he typically did. There was a long pause, and then something other than his usual good night stopped you in your tracks.

“It’s Keigo,” he said, uncharacteristically quiet, so softly that you almost missed it.

You jerked to a halt, almost banging your elbow off the doorframe. “What?”

Hawks watched you from under his ugly floral throw, those golden eyes fixed on you with an intensity that hadn’t been there over dinner. His fingers ran over the long red feather he always kept at his side.

“My name,” he said finally, like he’d decided something. “My—real name. It’s Keigo.”

You stared at him, floored.

As far as you were aware, Hawks’ real name was something of a mystery to the public. You’d seen a couple reddit threads dedicated to it, and heard it discussed once in passing, but you’d never really thought much on it beyond that. You hadn’t even thought about it as the man himself had been lounging around in your living room, content to just call him Hawks, as that was who he’d always been to you.

So it was a complete shock to hear him say it, to admit to being anyone other than Hawks, Japan’s number two, the pro hero too fast for his own good.

You couldn’t have rubbed two brain cells together, too stunned, so you settled for repeating after him. “Keigo.”

Hawks—Keigo, that was—grinned at you, a flash of sharp white in the dark of your apartment.

“Sounds nice when you say it, sweetheart.”

That snapped you out of your stupor, sending a hot flush swirling through your limbs. You scrambled for words.

“Wha—? You, um, you don’t—I mean, I didn’t mean—you don’t need to—”

Hawks, ever the hero, rescued you from yourself by laughing and cutting off your wild ramble. “I’d like you to use it, but I don’t expect anything if you don’t want to. Good night, sweetheart.”

You rapidly seized on the out he was offering you and threw him a frantic wave, garbling out a farewell. “Right, okay! Good night, Haw—um, Keigo!”

And then you turned and dove for your room, yanking the door shut after you like a shield against Hawks’—Keigo’s—sudden straightforwardness. You stood there, your heart racing for some unknowable reason, like he’d made you run a marathon instead of admitting to having a human name.

It took you a long time to turn out the light and climb into bed, your thoughts still racing with the name: Keigo. Keigo, Keigo, Keigo.

The echo of it in your brain kept you up for a long time, wondering what it meant that he’d told you.

You barely slept that night.

#hawks x reader #takami keigo x reader #hawks #takami keigo #bnha x reader #bnha

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buckyismybicycle · 2 years

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teach me how to love [Chapter 16]

Title: teach me how to love - AO3 Pairing: Bucky x Reader (teacher) Rating: Explicit (for Chapter 9 & 12) Tags/Warnings: godfather!Bucky, canon-typical violence/death of character, fluff, angst, learning disability, almost a spy AU, PTSD, nightmares, mentions of anxiety, oral/penetrative sex, body modification, pain and angst, hurt/comfort

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | [series masterlist] | [overall masterlist] Author’s Note: I'M BACK. You probably don't want me to be. And I didn't like my old header so here we are trying this one lol. Okay, now where was I? Oh, breaking hearts, right...

“Not a problem, the substitute is available for the rest of the week, if you need it.”

“Oh, um -” You were about to decline, but with how you were feeling? “Yeah, that’d actually be really great. Thank you, Maria.”

“Hope you get well soon. We’ll see you next Monday unless you need more time off.”

“Thank you, I think I’ll be okay by Monday.”

You’d gone from never taking a day off to taking three days, and even then, you weren’t sure if it’d be enough because it felt like the feeling would never go away.

Yes it hurt, but more than anything you were left less than whole. And while Bucky was a large part of your life these days, it was more than just the missing hole he left. The words he said made no sense to you - how broken up he sounded about it just didn’t match the words.

He hadn’t told you why, talking circles around breaking up with you. He hadn’t wanted to see you and that stung, it really did. But it didn’t make any sense. You knew that Bucky was a good man, this just wasn’t him.

Or maybe, you’d been too blindly in love with him that you couldn’t attribute a single flaw to him. You saw Riley send you a text but couldn’t bring yourself to open it.

The last thing you wanted was for him to fret about you. Or worse, for him to ask you to repeat Bucky’s words.

You were everything I could’ve ever dreamed of and I - I care about you, a lot.

You deserve better than this, you know that, right?

Why had he said that? It would’ve been easier to stop thinking about him if he had cut you deeply with his words, but instead, he all but pleaded for you to not think it was on you. Why would he do that? Keep you hooked with his sweet words, even when he was destroying everything that you’d built together?

The exhaustion makes your head foggy and heavy enough that you go back to bed, even though you’d only just gotten up. You were trapped between being too tired to do anything but too wound up to sleep. Hours passed by as your eyes closed and shut, as you tossed and turned. You read a book until your head hurt, then scrolled through at least a hundred videos on social media.

The next time you checked the time, it was only the early afternoon even though it felt the day should be over. And that’s when you started to cry again.

---

“You did what?” Clint looked at his friend, bewildered. He’s no stranger to mood swings, to destructive behaviour, least of all Bucky’s. He’d seen the aftermath of Nat’s death and how Bucky had barely managed to keep it together, and he only did so for Yelena. Bucky’s had some close calls.

“Don’t,” Bucky growls from under the covers. He hasn’t been out of bed all day, missing lunch and now approaching dinner.

“I have to say, I’m… I mean, I know why you think you had to, but don’t you think she would be right here by your side? She wouldn’t have given up on you, man.”

“I know. That’s why, Clint.” Bucky’s voice was small and choked. “She’d drop everything to help me - or anyone. She cares too much. I don’t… I don’t want that from her. I don’t want to look at her and see pity in her eyes. What if we went serious? I’d sit around doing fuck all, while she goes to work? And then have to watch her come home, exhausted, and still do everything around the house that I couldn’t do? I already don’t know how I’m going to manage Yelena, and she’ll pick up my slack? It’s too much, Clint. I just - I can’t.”

“It’s - it’s not slack, my guy. Come on, we all take on each other’s load when the going gets tough. Laura and I -”

“Have been married for a decade,” Bucky reminds him. “Clint, she’s got her best years ahead of her. I tried to convince myself that maybe I wasn’t such a wash-up, maybe I could make it work after all but this? I don’t want her to have to fix me… again.”

He says the last part so softly Clint can barely hear him, but it’s been a long time since he’s seen Bucky in this state.

“It’s a lot to take in, I get that. Maybe it’s a bit too much to think about right now, but just remember that we’re all here. We all are. I think you should think about if this is what you want or if you’re trying to do that martyr shit and save her from your drama.”

“Clint, when I’m around her, it’s -”

“It’s…?”

“I don’t feel like I’m worthy.”

“Jesus, Buck, don’t go down that path. You know your brain’s messing with you. Don’t let those thoughts win.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky sighs tiredly. He knows he’s a fuck-up and his brain is always working against him, he just doesn’t know how to stop.

“You’re… crying,” Clint states, almost in wonder. Bucky hadn’t realized his tears had escaped but he lets Clint shuffle in the bed again, and they sit, shoulder to shoulder while Bucky falls apart and Clint listens.

They hear Laura call for dinner, and the pitter patter of small footsteps rushing to the kitchen, but they stay until it sounds like dinner is done and Laura’s filling the sink up with water to soak the dishes. Clint goes to grab something for the both of them, and Bucky can hear low murmuring as the door remains open. He should get home soon, and out of their hair.

“You can stay as long as you like,” Clint says. And yeah, Bucky knows, but he can’t stand being a burden on people.

“I’ll be good to go tomorrow, I promise. And, uh, Tony sent me this.” He shows Clint the text messages.

“That sounds promising.”

“I don’t know if I can do this again,” Bucky closes his eyes. His body is in all sorts of pain and he can’t stop thinking about how much he’d been through when the KGB had done this. The recalibration, the testing, the check ups and maintenance, the phantom pains. He tells Clint all of this, who looks on with a scowl.

“Think on it, and when your heart is set on an answer, that’ll be it. If you don’t want to, it’s not going to be the end of the world. There are plenty of people that are missing an arm, or like, 80% of their hearing…” That manages to pull a tired smile out of Bucky with that one. Bucky’s always admired the way Clint was open and honest about his hearing disability and Bucky wishes he could be as strong as Clint was.

“Yeah, I’ll think about it.”

---

Clint does drop Bucky off at home, frets about everything being accessible and mother hens him for a solid fifteen minutes before Bucky boots him out so he can get Yelena to school on time. She’s reluctant to leave but Bucky promises her he’s going to be there when she gets home, so she only sniffles before taking Clint’s hand.

Sam agrees to drop Yelena off since he’s picking the boys up from school, and Bucky sinks into bed, his side and shoulder still throbbing dully. Tony had seen him off with a bag of prescription painkillers from Dr. Reyes, so he takes one in hopes that it’ll ease the pain.

He sends Tony a thank you message, and a promise to think about his proposition. Tony insists on sending a prototype draft to him.

He tortures himself by playing the last voicemail on his phone.

“Hey! Bucky, hi. Um, I just wanted to call to check in, I know I already messaged but ummm, I guess I just wanted to hear your voice! Anyway, I hope everything’s alright, but you know you can ask me for anything, if you need! Just, um, let me know? Okay, bye!”

He misses your voice, and the way you’d cared for him. He knows he doesn’t deserve it, and he wants you to be happy. You’ll find someone who can give you everything you deserve, because who could resist? He’d been the luckiest guy on the planet for these past months, he would always cherish that time, but he can’t keep you grounded when you were meant to fly.

He plays the message again.

And again.

When he wakes, hours later, he maneuvers around his kitchen and realizes that the can opener is going to be an obstacle. He opts for making toast and then takes twice as long as he normally would to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Things he’d forgotten had resurfaced - there was a period after the initial installation of his arm where it’d been too sore to move. It was only a few days, but he remembers having to hold a lot of containers and jars between his thighs to unscrew them.

Honestly, he’d never been so mad at a jar of jelly before.

The next matter at hand is cleaning the house. It’s been empty for almost four days, he’s sure that it could use the cleaning but even thinking about the daunting task makes him feel overwhelmed. He sighs into the next bite of his sandwich.

---

He hears a car pull up and takes a peek out from behind the curtain. Sure enough, Sam was pulling up with the kids loaded up in the backseat. He parks and opens the door for Yelena, and Bucky goes to meet him so he can still keep AJ and Cass in his line of sight.

“Papa!” Yelena reaches up with her hands. He can’t lift her like he used to, which annoys him. Instead, he crouches down and lets her wrap her around his neck before scooping her up in one arm.

“Thanks, I owe you one,” Bucky says to Sam, who’s smiling at him.

“It’s not a problem man, you’re not even out of the way. I’m more than happy to swing by tomorrow and do the same thing. You wanna ride to school with Cass and AJ, huh? That way your papa can rest.”

The question is directed to Yelena who nods shyly. Sam cocks an eyebrow at Bucky who can see he’s outnumbered.

“You don’t have to -”

“I want to,” Sam insists. “The boys like chatting on their way to school, it’ll be nice for them to ask someone else questions when I’m trying to watch the road.”

“That’s -'' Bucky takes an inhale. “That’d be a big help. For the rest of the week, at least. ‘Til I figure things out.”

“As long as you need,” Sam shrugs easily.

“Thank you, Sam. I really appreciate it.”

“Any time. Don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything, yeah?” Bucky nods, grateful that Sam doesn’t pry any further. Sam also doesn’t look at his shoulder, or the obvious space where his arm is no more. He just smiles and gets back to his car, where the boys are waving from the backseat. Bucky waves back and watches them drive off.

“How was school, pumpkin?”

“The new teacher didn’t let us paint today! He thinks paints are messy so we coloured instead but I liked painting.”

“New teacher?” Bucky’s heart instantly races thinking of all the implications. “Ms. [y/n] wasn't there today?”

Yelena shakes her head and says “I miss her.”

Yeah, so do I.

He gets an uncomfortable feeling that won’t leave, thinking how your absence must be because of him. It gnaws at him all the way up until dinner, and he can’t focus on a damn thing so he orders in, fixated on the fact that maybe he had hurt you more than he ever thought possible. He just didn’t didn’t understand how. Why would you be so hung up on someone like him?

—-

Your phone goes off, waking you up abruptly. You feel groggy, head aching and not entirely knowing what time it was. The logical part of you knows that you probably haven’t enough water or food, but the thought of even getting up makes you groan.

“Hey.”

“Hey. Are you just waking up?” Riley sounds awake, unlike you.

“Um, yeah? What time is it?”

“Like, ten pm? Christ, what happened? I was getting worried.”

It starts with one thing and then the next, and the words tumble out of your mouth in bursts and gasps.

“Oh, sweetcheeks, I’ll be right there.”

When you hang up the phone, you see there’s an unread message. Foolishly, you get your hopes up, but it’s not Bucky. It’s Clint.

Please don’t give up on him. He’s in a bad place and thinks he’s doing what’s best. He’s not always the brightest... 219 Woodward Drive.

You stare at the text message, the information that it holds. A few days ago, you had been desperate to get this address and now, it was staring back at you.

Clint was Bucky’s best friend, of course he would advocate on Bucky’s behalf. But what did he think would happen, or hoped would happen?

When Riley arrives, he hugs you tight and doesn’t say anything. For someone who loves to talk, he always knows when you need him to just be there. He lets you pretend that everything is fine, watches silently as you make a bag of popcorn and hand him the remote. You can’t handle making even the simplest decisions.

“Clint texted me Bucky’s address,” you say at last, after a few episodes of Wheel of Fortune.

“Oh?”

“I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t want to see me, he made that pretty clear. If I told someone not to come and they just showed up at my door, I don’t think I’d like that.”

“But what if it was someone you pushed away, thinking it was for the best? And they showed up at your doorstep?”

“I don’t know, Riles,” you rub at your forehead, headache coming back.

“What do you want to do, if there were no consequences whatsoever?” Honestly?

“I’d want to see him,” you confess. “Even if it was to say goodbye, I just - you know? One last time. At least.”

“Okay, well then that’s what we gotta do. For you and not for anyone else or any reason. You sound like you need closure. If this’ll help, then I’m with you, okay?”

“Thank you,” you sob quietly, thankful for his strength during your time of weakness.

—-

You’re not at school the next day either. Yelena starts to wonder if you’re sick, and says she wants to make a get well card for you.

It takes everything for Bucky to keep his thoughts to himself, about how even a Yelena original might not be able to fix what he’d done.

He knows he shouldn’t, but he picks up his home and opens his messages with you.

“I know you likely never want to hear from me again but I just have to make sure you know that this is entirely my fault, and I wish I were a better man. None of this should fall on you. I’m sorry for everything I put you through, and for hurting you like this. I’m sorry.”

He doesn’t get a response, doesn’t expect one, but he just hopes that you read it and, if nothing else, believe these words.

---

Riley ends up staying the weekend, reminiscent of when you were teenagers, and had a ton of junk food. In the morning, you did feel marginally better. You cave and tell Maria you still need some time off and she’s more than happy to give it to you. Riley had made pancakes and you allowed yourself buckets of syrup to treat yourself.

“So, what do you wanna do today?” He asks casually. “There is only so much Great British Bake-off I can watch.”

“You can put on anything you want,” you shrug, still feeling awful.

“Alright, this is too depressing,” Riley declares. “Let’s get out for a bit. You need some fresh air.”

“Riley -”

“Just a few minutes. Promise.”

Yes, Riley was just taking care of you and even though you didn’t want to, it was probably for the best.

“Quick shower first,” you bargain, hoping it’s enough to wake you up and give you at least a little bit of energy. You get ready, simply, while thinking over Clint’s message.

Please don’t give up on him.

You could never, not really. But, what could you do for someone that didn’t want anything to do with you?

He’s in a bad place and thinks he’s doing what’s best.

The line worried you to death. You knew what it was like to be at a certain low point. Though you were pretty confident that Bucky would think of Yelena first and foremost, being trapped in your own mind could be downright scary.

“Hey, you okay?” You nearly jumped when Riley rapped his knuckles on your open door.

“Yes,” you say in reflex.

“You’re thinking about seeing him,” Riley concludes.

“Do you think I’m being stupid?” You ask him in a small voice, laced with doubt.

“Why would I think that?” Riley’s voice is gentle as he walks to you and sits on your bed. “You’re not being stupid.”

“I just wish I could talk to him, like, maybe if I could just convince him that he’s not going to scare me off that easily? What could it be Riles? What could be so awful that I shouldn’t see it? I - I loved all of him, there’s noth - nothing he could -”

You stop as you feel yourself getting choked up.

“Hey, it’s not your fault. If he doesn’t know that, then maybe he’s got his own demons, yeah? We've all got them. You know how you can turn yourself into your greatest obstacle. So, don’t think this has anything to do with you, alright?” You nod dutifully and he lets you dry your hair so you can finish getting ready.

---

Bucky knows that it’s not his business, that you don’t owe him a damn thing. But the message sits delivered, and he wonders if you turned off your read receipts as well, maybe. Which is fine. You can block him. You should block him, even. He deserves that.

But he can’t stop worrying. It’s morning now, and not a peep from you, and it festers in his skin that’s hurt you beyond what ever imagined. When Sam comes to pick up Yelena, Bucky surprises even himself by asking if he can come along.

Either Sam suspects what this is about or Bucky’s body language gives something away because he doesn’t say a word, just lets Bucky climb into the front seat even if it still hurts to do so.

As he feared, the teacher in your classroom wasn’t you. He forces a smile when Yelena has to go in, gives her a longer hug than usual, and leaves with Sam.

“You’re worried about her,” Sam guesses.

“I don’t have any right to be,” he admits. “I just - I don’t know. I just wanted to make sure she’s okay.”

“You gonna call her?” Sam asks, and Bucky thinks on it for too long, long enough that the question hangs in the air and suffocates him. He’s glad that Sam doesn’t push. They drive for maybe a minute before Sam turns to Bucky.

“Well, what’s her address?”

“I can’t, she’s not gonna want to see me,” Bucky protests immediately.

“I wouldn’t bet on that,” Sam says gently. “She really cares about you, and you really care about her. If there’s anything I can say with confidence, it’s that it’ll take a lot more than this to keep people who care that much about each other apart. It’s not too late to fix things.”

“I don’t want her to take me back, Sam,” he sighs in frustration. “I just want her to know that she deserves better.”

“Can I say something as a friend here?” Sam ventures.

“Haven’t you been already?”

“Hey, I was being the Nice Friend, this is some tough love, now,” Sam warns. Bucky waits for the hammer to come down. “I think that you need to step back from yourself for a sec. You obviously care about her and you want the best for her, right?”

Bucky grumbles.

“But the thing is, you can’t decide for her. She’ll know what’s best for her, and I’m assuming this wasn’t her decision.”

The guilt twists uncomfortably in his heart, almost overpowering the feelings of shame and fear. Almost.

“Who would choose this,” Bucky exhales, closing his eyes.

“Clint’s here, isn’t he? I’m here, ain’t I? We choose to be by your side, Bucky. She might too, if you’d just give her the choice. The chance to make that decision for herself.”

“Sam,” Bucky’s breath is shuddering. “I think - I think I made a mistake.”

“Mmmhmmmm,” Sam agrees in a manner that clearly says I Told You.

“Can you, um, take a left up here?”

Sam smiles at his friend and makes the turn.

---

“Go get ‘er, tiger,” Sam sends him off after promising to wait downstairs in case Bucky gets thrown out on his ass, which he’s entirely expecting.

He feels nauseous to his gut as he walks up to the stairs to the building door. All it takes is five steps. Sam is parked in the spot where his Camaro usually sits, and stands outside like the comforting presence that he is. The thought of seeing you makes his face contort and he turns back to Sam, ready to flee but his heart says stay. He really thinks he should go.

The elevator ride haunts him, memories of you pressing into him, the way you clung to him. A soft ding reminds him that he’s really doing this, and he tries to steel himself while dragging his feet to your unit.

Just knock, dammit.

Were you even home?

This was a terrible mistake, and -

“Hi?”

It’s not you, it’s -

It’s everything that he had feared, everything he had prayed wouldn’t be the case deep down inside. But he can’t be bitter about it, he’d said the words himself when he broke things off.

You deserve better than this, you know that, right?

This was - this was good. This was what he had wanted for you. He was good-looking, young, hell, he had two arms.

“Sorry, must’ve gotten the wrong unit,” he blurts out before turning away. He can’t bear the thought of even being on this floor anymore so he doesn’t wait for the elevator, and bolts for the stairs instead.

“Wait!”

He doesn’t turn around, even when your… your -

Even when the man in your apartment calls out. Bucky’s heart pounds, the jitters and heartbreak spiking through his system. Well, if he was lucky, then that guy would have no idea who he was, and he could pretend that this never happened.

His face must’ve showed something because Sam immediately straightens and pushes himself off the car. Bucky sits himself down and Sam is starting the engine in no time.

“It’s okay, Buck, you had to try,” Sam soothes, and then dutifully drives them back to Bucky’s house.

NEXT CHAPTER | Series Masterpost by Chapter | [overall masterlist]

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drabsyo · 3 years

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Drabs, I know that you usually draw Fleur with slightly darker blonde hair than Narcissa. Was it a choice so that it’s easier to distinguish them from each other or was your Fleur maybe slightly influenced by the actress from the movie who had darker hair?

In the books Fleur didn’t seem to have much description other than having long silvery hair (waist length?) and having this glow around her. So like with Narcissa, what works have influenced your design of Fleur?

It’s fascinating sometimes to read the artist’s perspective and your previous reply to the anon about Narcissa has been very interesting.

Thank you!!! 🥺

I was actually pretty embarrassed over how enthusiastic I got over the whole hair thing, but I'm glad it made some sense at least 😂 And now that I've been given even more reason to talk about it... (Let's face it, I shouldn't even be allowed on this website to begin with, ya'll have been way too nice to me.)

Only click on keep reading if you want to read Some Nonsense.

I did consider Fleur's actress when I thought about her hair color. Though I pictured it to be something of a mix between movie Fleur and Elsa’s (from Frozen) hair. But the way I drew Fleur's hair, the way it falls across her shoulders, that was more of... well, I imagined Fleur to have effortlessly perfect hair, like she doesn't seem to need to style it so much because it's already whimsical as it is, what with her being part-Veela. There were a lot of fanfictions that helped me to sort of see a better image of Fleur in my head so really, I owe it to all the talented writers out there!

It's also the same with Narcissa's case. Though I decided to give her paler hair, compared to Fleur's, because I wanted to emphasize that air of vulnerability Narcissa has—this image she conjures, like she's this fragile thing made of glass, which typically in fanfiction is what Narcissa uses so that Voldemort would overlook her a lot, hence why she wasn't given any "missions" or "tasks" while Voldemort was in Malfoy Manor. Slytherin preservation. This "fragile" image was something Narcissa capitalized on and maintained perfectly, but in post-war Cissamione fanfictions, she no longer has to put on that façade—she starts living for herself, but the quiet sadness about her never really goes away.

I really did struggle at first, I had to find a way where I could draw them without confusing people and myself.

So, again, I sifted through a lot of canon and non canon material about these two characters which funnily enough made me see some kind of parallel going on between them. I know. Fleur Delacour and Narcissa Black. Parallels?! It's nuts. But again, this is only within Fleurmione and Cissamione fanfiction, and it really helped me to draw them better. (At least in a way that made them distinguishable from one other at first glance, I’d like to think.)

These 'hair scenes' are mostly the bits where Hermione "first" sees Fleur. Hermione is entranced, a little curious, sometimes she feels indifferent, but the general theme is Hermione immediately finds Fleur beautiful—which probably explains why Hermione in fanfiction sometimes thinks Narcissa could be part-Veela like Fleur. And as you can imagine, that's where my struggle began.

You'll see what I mean in a minute. And just like last time, remember that this part comes with spoilers.

🔹 In Fighting is our form of Flirting by InsomniacAndBi in Chapter 2 Hermione sees Fleur for the first time. This is the first Fleurmione fanfiction I've ever read, and also the first time I've encountered Fleur's character. Tall, bright blonde hair, won the genetic lottery, aristocratic features, face held in a scowl, floats into the room with effortless poise, immediately starts demanding things out of people... Sounds vaguely familiar, doesn't it. Like some other blonde we know.

"Non!" A voice from the doorway said. "This is not what was agreed."

For a moment, Hermione thought about ignoring it but turned to glance over there if only to quell her curiosity. A girl stepped into the room and Hermione's phone call was forgotten in a moment. She knew that it wasn't nice to stare but Hermione couldn't help but do it because, in all honesty, this was the prettiest girl she had ever seen. She was definitely taller than Hermione was, with bright blonde hair and...clearly she had won the genetic lottery.

Her skin practically glowed and it looked so smooth and soft. It made Hermione wonder if she used those fancy beautification charms or had a very lengthy skincare routine. Or maybe, just maybe, this is what being rich did to people's faces. There was no doubt in Hermione's mind that this girl was rich - like extremely rich, like even rich people thought she was rich. That kind of rich. That was the type of rich that this girl was.

Also, only super rich people curled up their lip like this girl was doing.

She breezed into the room like she was floating and Hermione hastily ended her phone call and promised to call back later.

"This is not what was agreed," The girl said again and Hermione felt incredibly small sitting in front of her. Not to mention, the girl's clothes screamed 'I'm rich and I know it' and Hermione's screamed 'I'm so out of place that I might as well be a bull in a China shop'.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Hermione managed to get out when it became apparent that the girl was waiting for her response.

"You are English." The girl looked shock for a moment at Hermione's accent before shaking her head angrily. "This is not what was agreed."

🔹 In Oath of Silver by i_shall_wear_midnight immediately in the first chapter, when Witcher Hermione first meets Fleur, it's something Hermione quickly notices. Vivid sapphire eyes. Silvery blonde hair that shimmered in the torchlight. And once again, right off the bat, Fleur is pushy. She wants things done her way. It’s just so cute how she doesn’t even let the fact that Hermione is a Witcher, an extremely dangerous outcast in society, get in the way of that.

(I'm sorry for this but I just have to gush about Oath of Silver. Hermione as a witcher is just so fitting for her character; she possesses that natural eye for detail that remarkable witchers have, witchers like Geralt and Vesimir (a skill that gets even more honed through the Witcher Trials). Hermione even has Geralt's dry sense of humor, a bit rough around the edges, brilliant, snippy without really meaning to (because she asks a lot of questions and would rather get to the point), but has a good heart.)

The witcher figured that would be the end of her human interactions for the evening, but only a few minutes later, the stunning newcomer from before appeared before her. Upon closer inspection, Hermione couldn’t imagine she wouldn’t be conspicuous in any group of people she happened to find herself immersed in. The woman was looking back at her with vivid sapphire eyes, and silvery blonde hair that shimmered even in torchlight. Her attire was travel-ready, but elegant.

“Bonsoir. You are a witcher, oui? Or perhaps a ‘witcheress’ is more accurate? I am not familiar with all the terms…” She watched the beautiful stranger patiently while she fumbled through Hermione’s professional title. As if the distinctive, amber colored cat-eyes hadn’t given her away, the brunette mused wryly. Eventually, the blonde gave up and sat herself down at Hermione’s table, her medallion twitching faintly as the stranger got settled. Hermione filed that away for later. Her new dinner buddy seemed to be oblivious to the curious and concerned looks now being thrown her way at boldly taking a seat at a mutant’s table.

“I came from Ellander,” she began in a non sequitur. “The temple, and spoke to the priestess Nenneke, who told me about you.” Hermione continued eating her second serving of stew and waited for her to get to the point. “I would like to hire you as an escort as I travel back to Toussaint.” The witcher finally put her spoon down.

“Sounds like you ought to be asking some mercenaries to be your bodyguards,” she responded, eyeing the bow the woman was carrying on her pack meaningfully.

“A pair seems doable, and I’d prefer you.”

“I’m not a bodyguard.”

“Yes, technically, I am aware,” she replied, beginning to show signs of impatience.

“Then why are you soliciting a monster-slayer?”

🔹 Witnessed here in Time and Blood by whistle.the.silver is probably the most interesting one because it uses the concept of Veela hair as a wand core brilliantly. Again, this comes with huge 🛑spoilers🛑. Read the italicized words at your own risk. I can't add the entire clip here, as the topic of Fleur's hair is littered throughout several other chapters. But this story shows us a Fleur who is willing to do anything in order to protect Hermione during the course of the war.

My memory is a bit foggy, I haven't read this story in months, but here's what I remember:

This takes place during the time of Shell Cottage, where Fleur is married to Bill and takes care of Hermione. Fleur didn't expect to fall in love with the young brunette and, as the Golden Trio's time in Shell Cottage comes to an end, she worries over Hermione's safety. Fleur, using magic only known to the Veela tribes, does her best to offer Hermione protection in any way that she can--even going as far as to study what Lily Potter did so Harry could live. At one point, Fleur cuts her own hair with a length now roughly above her shoulders to give Hermione a new wand. But this isn't the only bridge Fleur is willing to cross to make sure Hermione survives the incoming battle. Fleur's grandmother, Ron, and even Bill himself, is a little sceptic over the propriety of Fleur's actions, but Fleur is determined to do whatever it takes to make sure Hermione makes it out of the war safe and alive.

So that was a lot to wade through, I know.

But if you've skipped all those parts for the sake of missing spoilers then let me go ahead and explain why the parallel between Fleur and Narcissa are there. Sure, it's plain to see that they have similar physical characteristics, but they're also similar in other ways.

In Witnessed here in Time and Blood, Fleur is willing to do whatever it takes to protect Hermione during the war: sacrifice the secrets of the Veela, make Hermione a wand, make her marriage and friendship with Bill suffer, be scrutinized by her Veela tribe, etc. And didn't Narcissa do the exact same thing during the war to make sure Draco made it out alive? They both chose to 'betray' everyone else for the sake of this one person. Not to mention, in Extinction by rubikanon Narcissa even makes Hermione a wand. (I’m telling you, there are so many parallels between these two ships and I can probably list more but I'd rather not make this post longer.)

Here, I’m just going to go ahead and say it—it’s almost like Fleur and Narcissa in fanfiction have the same love language.

A glaringly obvious difference between them is their upbringing, and we could argue that this why Fleur tends to be more open with her emotions while Narcissa tends to be more carefully guarded with hers. And I don't know if writers realize these parallels but as someone who's a huge fan of both characters and as someone who makes the occasional fanart of them, it's a pretty difficult detail to ignore. This crazy conspiracy all started because I had to find a way to make both characters look distinct from one another... It's just so interesting that writers from two different ships unknowingly make these parallels with two completely separate characters who are often at the opposite ends of the seesaw.

But again, let's take a look at Extinction by rubikanon. (I know. Extinction?! AGAIN?! Always.)

Spoiler warning!

🔹 Extinction by rubikanon has a marvelous take on this, as it turns out Fleur and Narcissa are actually good friends, and if I remember correctly, occasionally exchange letters (I’m unsure about this bit, I might have read it in a different story). They just get along remarkably well; I imagine they both share a kind of mutual respect for each other, a quiet understanding for the way the other woman carries herself: poised, meticulous, they pride themselves in their work, they both know how to handle an Ocean Of Secrets™, they're both accustomed to being under the spotlight of the public eye, and they’re both dedicated to their loved ones. Needless to say, Fleur and Narcissa are both giddy over the prospect of being with someone they love and adore, and end up meticulously planning numerous (I think it was hinted) double dates (Fleur with Bill, and Narcissa with Hermione) with the same kind of endearing enthusiasm that leave Hermione and Bill with no choice but to agree to the whims of their respective lovers.

(Scene seen in Chapter 23: Build Up Your Defense 2 of 2)

Narcissa and (Hermione) I were sitting together on one of the couches when Bill and Fleur arrived later. They showered Teddy with kisses on his little cheeks. He'd gotten past his clingy phase and adored us all, struggling to walk around the room by bracing himself on everyone's knees.

Suddenly Narcissa reached up and grabbed onto someone's wrist behind her head. "Don't even think about it," she said.

"That's just scary. How did you know I was there?" George stood up from behind the couch, a toy spider dangling from his hand. Teddy shrieked with laughter.

"She has eyes in the back of her head," Draco said.

"Mothers," George grumbled, sitting down close to Angelina. "Dump her, Hermione. I need you to date someone more prankable."

Fleur looked in surprise at the two of us on the couch. "Oh, la vache! How did I not know zees? You are lovers?"

"We're dating," I said mildly, though we really were lovers. In every sense. I glanced at Narcissa and bit my lip as heat spread through me. My imagination started planning a middle-of-the-night rendezvous.

"No wonder she (Narcissa) was so adamant about healing that curse," Bill said thoughtfully.

"Adorable! Simply adorable!" Fleur exclaimed, sitting down on Narcissa's other side. "We must go out for a double date next week, all four of us. We'll dine at L'Escargot!"

Narcissa's eyes lit up.

"Oh, no," I said.

"You won't have to eat snails," Narcissa said. "Please, mon amour?"

"French doesn't work on me."

"Please?" She kissed my cheek again and again. "Please? Please?"

Laughing now, I pulled her in for a kiss on the lips and said, "Yes, alright. But only because I have fond memories of trying new foods with you."

"As do I," she agreed.

Then we realized everyone was staring. Narcissa cleared her throat and straightened up, blushing. Draco made a face. Ginny looked a little more favorable. Harry held in laughter, and Andromeda hid her camera.

"Adorable!" Fleur declared again.

🔹 Also, I just have to add Sugar and Spice by waltzlikeits1698 because Chapter 4: Happy Birthday, Harry is absolutely hysterical. During Harry's birthday party, Hermione sulks in a corner because Fleur has apparently been avoiding her. Ginny decides to do something barking mad, something Hermione typically falls for.

“Ooh, someone’s grouchy,” Ginny teased, retracting her arm and facing Hermione fully. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing,” Hermione insisted, although even she could hear the pout in her voice.

“Sure seems like it,” she snarked, summoning two shots and offering one to Hermione with a waggle of her eyebrows. Hermione pulled a face and Ginny shrugged before downing both, one after the other. (...) “You know, I spotted a tall, blonde drink of water hanging around the stairs.”

“What!?” Hermione exclaimed, whirling around and leaning out of the room to look at the staircase. Sure enough, standing at the bottom and resting a slender hand on the bannister was a tall, blonde witch who made Hermione’s heart stop with her mere presence. She had started forward before she knew it, her heart taking up an even quicker beat as she crossed the few steps and reached out a hand to clasp her elbow. The woman turned, that beautiful blonde hair catching the candlelight as it moved in one long sheet.

Hermione retracted her hand in horror, her eyes widening. “Mrs Malfoy!?”

Narcissa Malfoy raised an eyebrow at the witch who had practically accosted her. “Miss Granger. Can I help?”

What was she even doing here?

“Uh,” Hermione said dumbly, “sorry, I just… need the loo. Can I-?”

She gestured lamely to the staircase. Both women stared at the perfectly reasonable gap that Hermione could easily pass through. The moment stretched on.

Slowly, Narcissa returned her inscrutable gaze to Hermione, who squirmed uncomfortably in response. She then took a small step to the side and gestured for Hermione to pass. She did so and, as she turned the corner of the staircase, sent a deadly glare at Ginny, who was practically pissing herself with laughter.

(...)

Fleur had arrived. Hermione couldn’t explain exactly how she could tell, considering she had been in the duplicated bathroom for the last ten minutes after humiliating herself in front of Narcissa, but she knew it like she knew that it was levi-O-sa.

(...) (Hermione) She tried to avoid eye contact with Narcissa on the way back down and was thoroughly unsuccessful: the witch had physically reached out and laid her own hand over Hermione’s on the bannister, forcing her to stop and look up. Then, with an intention behind her eyes that Hermione had neither the brain capacity nor the energy to delve into, she said “It’s Ms Black now.”

Then she had released Hermione’s hand and turned back to her conversation with Andromeda and two wizards Hermione didn’t recognise.

Come to think of it, there were a lot of people Hermione didn’t recognise.

Anyway, long story short, this is the result of reading both Fleurmione and Cissamione—

But RIGHT. At the end of the day, again, these are just some crazy little things I picked up on and I may or may not be right, no one has to agree with me, everyone can disagree with me. Actually, yes feel free to disagree with me. I need to get out of this damn site and you know, touch grass.

Okay. Well. I'm gonna stop here now. So. Bye. But thank you anon for this lovely ask!! I’m really touched that you wanted to know what inspired the way I drew Fleur 🥺💕💖 But still. So sorry for this massive word vomit!! 😂

#fleurmione #cissamione #fleur delacour #narcissa black #narcissa malfoy #hermione granger #stupid rants #drabstuff #yall im telling you im the mad scientist but remove all the science

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timelyowl0 · 3 years

Text

Brittana/Faberry Fic Recs

Hi! Here’s a list I compiled of some of my all time favorite Brittana and Faberry fics! I was originally going to separate the list by Faberry and Brittana, but many of the stories have both, so instead you can just read the pairings listed for each. They are sorted by multi-chapter complete, multi-chapter incomplete/in progress, and one-shots. Each title is a link you can click on to take you to the fic. All credit goes to their respective authors :)

Also, here’s a quick rating guide in case you needed to know:

GA/PG - General Audience

T - Teen

M - Mature

E - Explicit

NR - Not rated

That’s all, I hope you enjoy!

Multi-chapter (complete):

Between The Lines (T) - 19 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana and Rachel/Quinn - Rachel invites Brittany and Santana to a sleepover. Brittany/Santana with a healthy side of Rachel/Quinn

The Only True Paradises (M) - 20 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - The tortuous evolution of Santana's feelings toward Brittany. See also "Pas de Deux," a companion piece from Brittany's point of view.

Pas de Deux (M) - 20 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Companion piece to "The Only True Paradises." The evolution of Santana and Brittany's relationship from Brittany's perspective.

Faithfully (T) - 5 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - "That moment when Santana had sworn, even though she and Brittany were standing at opposite ends of the raised platform…that she could still feel Brittany's energy zinging toward her, like they were connected on the same current." Brittana, Seasons 1 through 5, as told in five increments.

My Girlfriend's Sister's Keeper (T) - 13 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittany isn't the only Pierce that has Santana wrapped around her finger. Santana's life with her two favorite people.

Mariposa (M) - 5 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Like a butterfly, Santana's journey out of the closet occurs in stages. From the first time she heard the word gay to the first time she flew free from her chrysalis, she can remember everything.

time passes, in love and in seasons (T) - 4 Part Series - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittana, from the end of junior year and throughout senior year, told through the seasons. Mostly follows Season 3 canon.

Brittana Shorts (GA) - 8 Part Series - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - A collection of Brittana-centric short stories

it’s nice to have a friend (T) - 8 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - They're six when they first meet. It's the first day of school in a crowded classroom and Santana finds herself drawn to the new blonde girl. OR The story of how Brittany and Santana meet and all the significant moments in their lives following the first time they see one another. - sequel

A Matter of Miserable Time (T) - 10 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - "His voice was deep, quiet, and sure, so calm compared to the last words they had exchanged. Her voice was only a faint whisper as she questioned the man she hadn't spoken to in three years.'Papi.'"

Influence (M) - 26 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittany is perpetually cast as the dumb blonde, but the reasons behind her demeanor are more complex than that. She looks back on her childhood, her relationship with Santana, and the life-altering effects the decisions of her youth had on her future.

It’s Not Like I Wanted This to Happen (T)- 101 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana and Rachel/Quinn - Quinn takes a very drunk Rachel home from a party...encounters the Berrys…and herself. This story contains a huge amount of Brittana and a lot of Puck.

Rough Beginnings (M) - 44 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Quinn decides she needs to end this obsession once and for all, but life doesn't always work out the way we want it to. Sometimes it's so much better. Faberry.

Never Asked to Feel Your Halo (T) - 45 Chapters (1/2 in series) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - The thing was, neither of them wanted this-whatever it was, but since when did the Universe care about what Rachel or Quinn wanted? Their cards had been dealt the moment they'd entered that shower together. Now it came down to how well they played them.

Standing on the Edge Dancing in the Flames (M) - 34 Chapters (2/2 in series) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Life isn't all singing and dancing, not even in Glee club. And what if being on top of the pyramid just gives you further to fall. When everyone feels like a frienemy and fathers and faculty and babies and boyfriends complicate EVERYTHING, how are you ever supposed to get anything right? (Book Two of the 'No Halo' series)

The South Side of Anywhere (M) - 47 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Sometimes you fall in love with your eyes closed, and when you open them, the person is someone you never thought it could be. It started with letters, and turned into Faberry.

Somewhere in Between (M) - 77 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Imagine if Faberry happened instead of Finchel. This is a re-telling of every episode as if Faberry were cannon. Each chapter will chronicle each episode starting at the very beginning. Some things will change and some will remain the same. Longer description in first chapter. Also side Brittana. As well as Quinntana friendship, and Puckleberry bromance.

Didn’t See it Coming (M) - 63 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana? - AU HS. After a devastating breakup, Quinn turns to Rachel in need of a friend, and ends up with so much more. - "If, one day, someone asks me how it all started; I'll have to say it was a granola bar that finally did me in." Faberry.

Bet You Didn’t Know That (T) - 19 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Faberry. What she doesn't know, she doesn't need to find out.

Take Me As I Am Seasons 1 & 2 (T) - 48 chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana and Kurt/Blaine - The incredibly true adventures of Quinn and Rachel, starting from Sectionals Season 1. It's just like watching the show, if Faberry were the central couple and everything revolved around them! Brittana & Klaine co-star in supporting roles.

Take Me As I Am Season 3 (T) - 26 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana and Kurt/Blaine - The continued adventures of Quinn & Rachel as the starring couple of Glee. Some integration of canon events, but mostly this is the story of Faberry and their world! Klaine & Brittana co-star in supporting roles

Blink and You’ll Miss It (M) - 31 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry discover they like each other. Against all odds, will they be able to get together before they tear each other apart?

You’re All I Need (M) - 17 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - A Faberry romance story, set when they are both single but I haven't specified when as I'm not even sure myself but most of the events are from series 3. Points of view will change every few chapters. And that's probably the worst description you've ever read but yeah I can't be bothered to change it.

quarantining or how quinn might lose it, once for all. (T) - 8 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - It starts like the worst horror movie ever but instead of being trapped in the basement of a creepy 50-something year old, Quinn finds herself being trapped in Rachel Berry's basement.

Once More From the Top (T) - 22 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana and others - Here's what you missed on Glee: McKinley's Glee Club reformed under the direction of Will Schuester. Rachel tried to recruit the Cheerios but that ended up being a total disaster. It's cool though because she heard Finn Hudson sing in the shower and he's actually really good. She successfully recruits him and now the Glee Club has enough members to be a real thing.And that's what you missed, on Glee!

Outside Hearts (M) - 37 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Rachel Berry's world is about to be turned upside down when one of Hollywood's most sought-after young actresses, Quinn Fabray, abruptly and mysteriously leaves her fame behind, moves to Ohio and tries to have a normal life while attending McKinley High. (Faberry w/ some Brittana)

I See That Ragged Soul Take Flight (M) - 44 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana, Mike/Tina, Kurt/Blaine and Sam/Mercedes - Ensemble cast piece exploring what happens after Season 3. Rachel, Santana and Kurt are in New York together. Quinn is at Yale. Explores adulthood, friendship and long-distance relationships. Eventual Faberry. Also contains, Brittana, Klaine, Tike and Samcedes content, plotlines back at McKinley, and frequent use of Santana POV.

All The Best (T, but I would rate M for descriptive scenes of suicide, eating disorders, rape, etc.) - 80 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - After spending the entire summer away, Quinn is eager to get back to normal and make the best of her junior year. Excited to put everything behind her and start fresh, she struggles to establish a new normal. But when she's least expecting it, Quinn finds support in the most unlikely places and is forced to confront the very feelings that landed her where she is in the first place.

take these broken wings (M) - 4 Part Series - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana and Kurt/Sam - Begins in Season one and follows Quinn through her life should she have chosen to keep Beth, realize she is gay, and fall in love with Rachel Berry. The main romantic relationship will be Faberry, with a bit of Hevans and Brittana, but apart from Faberry it will be very heavy on friendship and Quinn&Beth oriented.

the state of dreaming (T) - 3 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - Rachel couldn’t help the guilt that bubbled in her chest when she watched Quinn get a prom photo alone. Determined to make it up to her, she invites Quinn over for a sleepover. It becomes a routine. Set immediately after 2x20 (Prom Queen).

Enough to Believe (T) - 2 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - Years after Shelby ups and disappears from Lima with Beth, a blonde girl shows up on Rachel and Quinn's doorstep, armed with a lot of questions, and very familiar cheekbones.

you and her loathing this cruel world (M) - 3 Chapters - Pairings: Quinn/Rachel, minor Kurt/Quinn and Kurt/Sam - "Of all the girls he had to have sex with (which really, were none), of course it was someone with a painting of Jesus above her bed, so he knows that his only hope in hell that this will go away is in a negative test result." Season 1 AU; Kurt is pretty sure he's gay, but would like to make sure. Quinn Fabray has similar questions running through her mind. They put their theories to the test, with very much unintended consequences. - sequel

I’ve Been Trying to Reach You (T) - 25 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana, Santana/Puck, Rachel/Jesse and Sam/Tina - After falling pregnant in sophomore year, Quinn Fabray plummets from the top of the teen hierarchy at McKinley High to the very bottom. In an effort to give her a chance to start over, her parents transfer her to Carmel, a private school in the area with a blossoming arts program. It's supposed to be a new beginning, but what she doesn't count on is immediately becoming enemies with the most popular girl in school: Rachel Berry, co-captain of Vocal Adrenaline.

The Lopez Manifesto (T) - 8 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - santana starts writing a rachel/quinn fanfic for everyone at McKinley. it’s also extremely popular as everyone awaits her weekly updates. (usually based on what the girls are doing that week.) quinn is the last to find out and is… pissed.

my heart’s a leather jacket I am waiting to give to someone sweet (T) - 15 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittany is McKinley’s resident broody rebel who doesn’t see much point to high school, and who, completely incidentally, just so happens to be kind of a math genius. Santana is Lima's golden child, the perfect and unapproachable only child of public figure Dr. Lopez. She’s also the high school’s enigma; no one actually knows anything about her aside from the fact that she’s cold, distant, terrifying, aloof, and willing to eviscerate anyone who looks at her the wrong way. Unfortunately for her, Brittany is about to get a crash course in the complete mystery that is Santana Lopez when she is asked—or, more realistically, forced—to be Santana's math tutor.

Dead Girls Don’t Sing (T) - 39 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana, Rachel/Quinn, Kurt/Blaine and Tina/Mike - S3 AU. Brittany doesn't believe in unicorns anymore, Rachel's dreams are as dead as the world, Santana is no one's hero…and Quinn? Quinn's just trying to breathe. The world as they knew it is gone -now all they can do is survive. Zombie Apocalypse. Faberrittana Friendship. Slow Burn Faberry. Character Death. COMPLETE

Simple Parts (T) - 13 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - That awkward moment when you travel thirty years forward in time and find out you're married to your high school nemesis? Yeah, it totally sucks...except...maybe it doesn't.

The Lateness of the Hour (M) - 12 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - "Brittany has much less to lose. She always has."

half of me (T) - 4 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - a run-in (quite literally) at the bookstore, two broadway tickets, and a seven-year-old in a plaid catholic-school uniform. what has rachel gotten herself into? future AU where quinn has beth and rachel makes it on broadway.

April Fools (T) - 10 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - Santana recruits - forces - Rachel to help her prank Quinn. All she has to do is pretend that a love potion has caused her to fall madly in love with the cheerleader. Simple, right? Wrong. Faberry.

Stars & the Moon (M) - 15 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - In the midst of dealing with Beth's adoption, Quinn ends up working on a summer community theatre production with Rachel. Hilarity ensues. Just kidding.

Love Me Any Less (M) - 25 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Junior year becomes the beginning of something no one expected, and maybe the beginning of something a few can't understand how they ever lived without. Starts mild but progresses to M rating. First fic ever! Faberry.

Better Where It’s Wetter (M) - 10 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - Rachel and her dads are going on a LGBT family-friendly cruise for the summer and Rachel's told she's can bring a friend. Who else to bring but Quinn?

Like a Seal Upon Your Heart (M) - 20 Chapters - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana? - Quinn Fabray is Daddy's little girl and the perfect Christian. She CAN'T be gay. But then her friendship with Rachel Berry starts to change...

Somewhere in Brooklyn (M) - 47 Chapters - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Santana and Brittany have been trying to get pregnant for a year without any luck. What happens when a teenage foster child and positive pregnancy test land in their laps on the same day? A unique journey of motherhood ensues.

Multi-chapter (incomplete/in progress):

Everyone's Gonna Know Now (T) - 8 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - 3/4 in series - When Santana confronted Finn about outing her, his response was, "The whole school already knows." That was pretty much true. This story is about the first moment or incident in which each member of Glee - and a few others - discovered Santana's secret.

Be Okay (M) - 2 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - “Kurt doesn’t know why he does it. It’s not as if he and Santana had ever had anything resembling a friendship, but he feels drawn to her, feels connected to the anguish in her voice as she realized that her biggest secret in the world was about to be revealed.“ This is the evolution of Kurt and Santana’s friendship taking place over a series of one-shots.

looks like a girl but she's a flame, so bright she can burn your eyes, better look the other way, you can try but you'll never forget her name (M) - 5 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - santana lopez writes down the story of her life for a reunion project set for the glee club by none other than rachel berry. aka, a deep dive into santana's life told through her eyes. very santana/brittana centric.

No One Left to Blame (M, read tags) - 30 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Quinn Fabray is well-versed in keeping the truths of her family and her past firmly hidden away. But, her efforts prove to be moot when Rachel Berry, armed with her own secrets of the past, arrives at Dalton Academy and manages to turn both their worlds upside down - or, perhaps, right way up. Faberry. Trigger Warnings.

I’m not breaking, I won’t take it (M, read warnings) - 2 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and minor Quinn/Santana - Santana gets up and starts toward her, “Jesus, what happened to you?” she mumbles, but she's softer than she was moment before. It's obvious that she’s concerned. Quinn chokes down a sob and then admits, “There’s something wrong with me.”“Hey, listen. Whatever it is, you’re going to be fine." Santana is still not getting it, but she’s rubbing soothing little circles on Quinn’s shoulders. There really must be something wrong with her too, because then Quinn is lunging forward and then she’s kissing Santana. Quinn feels her freeze, but then Santana relaxes and she’s kissing her back. or, a study in quinn fabray.

no love like your love (T) - 5 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana and Blaine/Sam - Following the death of her mother, Rachel Berry assumes guardianship of her six-year-old brother, Daniel. After a cross-country move for his sister's job, the first friend Danny makes is a soccer-playing, lucky fin having, firecracker of a girl named Beth.

Song of Mine (M) - 18 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Santana Lopez, the new Music teacher at a religious private school in Indianapolis, meets Brittany Pierce, the resident Math teacher. A love story with a happy ending. Promise.

Girls Over Flowers (NR) - 14 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, Brittany/Santana - Dalton Academy—a school of prestige, refinement and the country's wealthiest students—houses the famous F3. When "commoner" transfer student, Rachel Berry directly offends F3's leader, Quinn Fabray, she becomes their target. Mayhem ensues.

we were built to fall apart (then fall back together) (T) - 8 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - Rachel and Quinn haven't seen each other for seven years and neither thought they'd see the other again. They certainly didn't see themselves starring together in a Broadway musical, as each other's love interests.

A Different Life (E) - 33 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana, Finn/Rachel and Kurt/Blaine - Canon!Divergent Brittana. Santana and Brittany move to New York after high school. Everything is going perfectly until Brittany gets a phone call that changes everything. Seven years later, Santana has a daughter and she and Britt haven't seen each other...Canon until 3x16ish. No Louisville, no second senior year.

you get too close you’ll get a royalty high (so breathe it in to feel the love) (T) - 9 Chapters (Incomplete) - Pairings: Brittany/Santana, Rachel/Quinn, Sam/Mercedes, Mike/Tina, Kitty/Artie and Kurt/Blaine - "Alright," she began uneasily. "I'll do it. I'll go to the dumb school."Her parent's smiles beaming back at her were almost enough to make her think this could possibly be a good idea, but the nerves surging in her stomach said otherwise. Boarding School/Royalty Brittana AU

One-shot:

Tattoo (T) - Oneshot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - "She soaks it in for a few seconds—this night, this place, these friends, this family room floor, this girl—before she says it back." Post-3x11. Brittana.

Eden (T) - Oneshot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittany and Santana teach Joe about love. 4K

Riding in Cars With Girls (M) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - After Quinn quit Glee club and joined a band Rachel feels the gap Quinn has left and sets out to get her back, whatever the cost. But what happens when Quinn's only condition involves her car and Rachel's lips on hers every day at five? Punk!Quinn

and things we’re all too young to know (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Five vignettes set after the point when Brittana become girlfriends. Not too many people would guess it, but Brittany knows that loving Santana is the easiest and best thing in the world to do; Santana is just the best person to love.

My Friends Say That I’m Falling In Love (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Brittany and Santana spend the week leading up to Valentine's Day giving Mercedes grief about her date. Brittana romance, Brittanacedes friendship. Mouseverse. One-shot.

And What Would You Say If I Wrote the Whole Thing Out for You? (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Some things have changed a lot since Sam left McKinley and some things haven’t really changed at all. Set circa 3x08.

The Landslide Brought Me Down (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Our girls’ story. Sweet lady kisses, Landslide, their separation, the night of Prom Queen, Songbird, Santana’s Abuela’s rejection, the night after Santana learned about the political ad, Brittany’s senior year falling apart, the lights of New York, and other scenes.

seven (GA) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - A companion piece to 'it's nice to have a friend'. Takes place after the first scene in the second chapter - can be read separately to 'it's nice to have a friend'. Basically just childhood fluff that examines their friendship and the items they connect to their friendship.

baby you don't gotta fight (i'll be here til the end of time) (GA) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - She sees red for all of last period, a strange twinge of pain in her chest because all these people think they know Santana but they’re all wrong. or: three times Brittany tells people they've got Santana all wrong and the one time she tells Santana

The Unicorn Tapestries (NR) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - We lie on our stomachs on my pale blue sheets, a book lying open in front of us that we bend our heads over, sunlight all over the page and bringing bits of gold out in your skin..

But You Could Sing (NR) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Why am I always the one who tells bedtime stories? Because your stories are prettier, BrittBritt. But you can tell real ones. Like what?

Colors (NR) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - The sunlight in my room shines from the south. The way I know: when I lean far out my window, the sun rises on the side where I can feel my heartbeat, and sets in the direction of my writing hand.

You’re Something Else (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - 'Quinn gets the impression she and Rachel are finally on the same page about what may or may not be happening between them. All she really knows is that it's colourful.'

Raising the Bar (M) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and minor/implied Brittany/Santana - Quinn never expected that the best matchmaker would turn out to be a lumpy pullout couch.

the one with the friends reference (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn, minor/implied Brittany/Santana and minor/implied Kurt/Blaine - "You can see it. Quinn standing in front of you, as close as she can get without touching you and saying, 'Are you attracted to me?'" Faberry. Post-season six.

Blame it on the Alcohol (or the gay, whatever) (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and minor/implied Brittany/Santana - “I can’t believe what you did to my body, I used to have abs!” - In which one sentence is totally incorrect and causes chaos and havoc and Faberry feelings to happen. Also known as drunk Rachel is kyoot and Finn is stoopid.

could you pass in love? (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - “'Quinn Fabray, I will divorce you, don’t think I won’t!'” In which Rachel and Quinn get married, sending them into a possibly out-of-character feelings frenzy . Season Three. Faberry.

Do You Wanna Know How This Story Plays Out? (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - It's not her fault that you feel the way you do about women, you know that, and you knew that then, too. But you've been angry at Rachel Berry for making you feel things you wanted to lock away for years, and it was far too easy to put all of the blame on her to avoid dealing with your own feelings. It wasn't and isn't fair, but it was about protecting yourself and it makes it a little easier to bear. - OR - After everything implodes with Finn, Quinn moves in with Rachel. They make out a lot without ever talking about how much more it means to both of them. Introspective Closeted!Quinn POV from second-person.

you succeed at being mine (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Kurt/Sam - Sequel to 'you and her loathing this cruel world'.

This Must Be The Place (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - Santana is eight years old when her Tio Carlos joins the Army. Or the less-cracky-than-you-might-expect Glee/The Losers crossover where Cougar is Santana's uncle. (If it tells you anything, i nearly titled this 'Ohana Means Family.')

This Modern Love (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Brittany/Santana - "How do you know when you're dating someone?"

Beth’s family tree (GA) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - "Now that being said, my family tree is composed by both my biological family and my adoptive family" Beth explains easily enough as she clicks the mouse. But then the next slide appears and the teacher gapes at all the information, names, colours and arrows in the diagram.

pictures of you, pictures of me (hung upon the wall, for the world to see) (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn and Brittany/Santana - "Quinn looked around her room again. She'd never noticed it before, but she had a lot of pictures of Rachel." or: a faberry oneshot set between seasons 1 and 2 where Quinn reflects on a series of moments with Rachel that led to where she is now

anything could happen (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - She stared down at the test in her hand. The line was faint, disappearing depending on the angle. It was possible she was just seeing things, but still. She pulled out her cell phone, tears running down her flushed cheeks. It felt like the earth could open up at any second, just swallow her whole. The line rang. Once, twice, she cursed quietly. She sucked in a breath as she heard a click signifying the call had connected."Hello? Rachel?" Her voice cracked. "Quinn. I need your help." A Faberry-centric rewrite of Rachel's season 4 pregnancy scare

Frannie’s View (T) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - When Frannie was a child she did everything she could to make her father happy. She was a daddy’s girl through and through. She was quiet and never disrespectful. She went to church every Sunday with her mother and father and prayed every night. Frannie had a lot of friends at school and was popular and well liked. She did very well in school though her participation grades were always low. Daddy told her women were supposed to be quiet and always treat their husbands with respect. She was a princess and he was the King. He ruled the house. Frannie absolutely hated the way her father treated her little sister. Frannie desperately tried to change Lucy. She thought if Lucy could be better then their father would be happier, nicer. OR A journey from Frannie's perspective of Lucy/Quinn and Quinn's sexuality and later feelings for Rachel.

According to Judy (PG) - One-shot - Pairings: Rachel/Quinn - How Judy Fabray deals with Quinn's infatuation with Rachel.

#brittana #faberry #fic rec #brittana fic #faberry fic

206 notes · View notes

shhh-no-ones-home · 3 years

Text

personal jesus* frank castle x reader

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I don't usually add these disclaimers but this fic is nothing really close to anything I've written before so we'll add 'em anyway. And usually my stories are between 800 and 2500 words but I've exceeded that on this one so I'll add that too.

Wc: 2741

Warnings: canon level blood and gore mention, stitching him up, bad words, smut, and the likeness. It's very vulgar.

*- this is nothing but smut. Porn with a little bit of plot basically. Thigh riding, nipple play, not really a blood kink but like maybe if you squint, dick riding, unprotected p in v (please use protection in real life), and I think that's it. Enjoy 🥴

Song: joker and the thief by wolfmother

tag list: @cynic-spirit

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I sat on the couch reading, enjoying my late Saturday evening, the coffee sat under the lamp next to me long forgotten. I was all but consumed and was ready to ignore my alarm telling me to go to bed in the next couple minutes. It was almost midnight but I was determined to finish this book. After all, I only had twelve chapters left. Work could wait.

I flipped the page, new chapter, alarm began to ring. I turned it off and kept reading. Turned my attention to the next page and there was a knock at my door. I rolled my eyes. It's midnight, it couldn't be anyone that important. I flipped the page. Then the banging on the door started. Once, then another time, then another.

"Alright, I'm coming."

I mumbled under my breath, setting the bookmark in the spine and setting the book next to the mug on the side table. There was another slam of a fist against my door as I peaked through the peephole. It was frank and he didn't look great.

"Shit."

I mumbled under my breath as I fiddled with the door chain quickly. In a matter of rushed seconds the door was open and he was stumbling forward into my arms.

"What the fuck frank?"

I inquired a little annoyed, kicking the door closed and walking him to the kitchen table.

"I was gonna go home but your place was closer."

He groaned as I set him in the leather chair.

"And if I don't get this taken care of I'm gonna bleed out."

His voice was gruff, head dropping back against the back of the chair as I assessed him. He was covered in blood and I couldn't tell if it was his or someone else's. But knowing him it was probably a mixture of both. But as my gaze traveled up his torso and to his neck I noticed something.

"How far down does this go?"

I asked, touching the cut lightly with my finger tips and he jolted upright, grabbing my hand tightly in his own.

"I can't fix it if you don't let me at least see it."

I said and he let out a long shaky breath.

"Start with something else first."

He demanded, voice deep and strained like he'd been yelling. I shook my head.

"I'll be right back."

I look over him one last time before disappearing down the hall. I got in the closet first, getting everything I needed out of it before going back to the kitchen and filling a bowl with warm water.

"So, how much of this is yours?"

I asked, pulling up a tv tray and setting the bowl on it, soaking a wash cloth. He sent me a look, resituating in his seat to get comfortable, legs spread wide and one hand resting on each thigh.

"No, answer, per usual. That's fine."

I mumbled under my breath as I got to work wiping the blood off his face. I was careful not to push on the bruises I could see, taking extra care around the cuts and scrapes. There was a small one under his left eye, another deep into the brow bone. That One he hissed at when I went over it. I shook my head.

"I need to see this at a batter angle."

I stated boldly before straddling his left thigh and tilting his head up and to the side for more light. He looked at me for a moment, holding his breath as I rinsed the rag and got back to work. It took him a second to let the air back out, when he realized I didn't care what he was doing beneath me.

"This must've been some fight."

I mentioned more to myself than anything. He stared back ahead of him, swallowing hard.

"You should see the other guy."

He said quietly and I snorted, wiping the remaining blood off his face.

"Something tells me he'll be in the paper later this week under that section in the back titled 'obituary'."

He side eyed me, tightening his jaw as I moved to open my kit. I started with q-tips and rubbing alcohol, and setting out a few small butterfly bandaids.

"This is gonna hurt."

I said and he huffed a laugh out, as if to say sarcastically 'and you think it didn't hurt when it happened?' But I just ignored it. I dipped the first q-tip into the alcohol and pressed it to the cut under his eye. He hissed and jerked away and I sent him a look.

"Sit still or it's gonna get infected."

He drew his brows at me before going back to where he was before.

"If it hurts that bad, just squeeze here."

I said, grabbing his hand that had been situated under me on his thigh and placing it against my hip.

"But don't move."

I said firmly, holding his jaw tightly with one hand and getting back to work. His breathing was unsteady as I ran a new qtip dipped in alcohol over the cut. It was still trying to scab so I was getting more coagulated blood than I had originally bargained for. He kept his jaw locked in place as I added the bandaid to the cut under his eye. Now onto the brow bone. It was deeper, still running blood down and almost into his eye. It was a race between me and it and luckily I was winning. When I touched it with the qtip he squeezed my hip so tightly i made a pained noise.

"Shit."

We said in unison and I shook my head.

"Sit still."

I said annoyed, grabbing another bandaid and positioning it around his eyebrow. When it was on I moved his head again via his jaw to make sure there weren't any more. I had cleaned all the blood off already and the only traces of the fight that were left were the deep purple and yellow bruises littered under his left eye and across his nose and right cheek. I nodded once in content before pushing his head to look up and inspecting the deep cut that started at the base of his jaw and got thicker the further under his shirt collar it got.

"I need to look at this now."

I said and he sighed.

"Fine but don't do that shit you just did to my face."

I rolled my eyes.

"Big baby."

He glared at me before letting his death grip on me go and lifting his shirt. My eyes went wide as his shirt hit the table in a wet heap. The cut went all the way to his sternum and was all but gushing blood.

"Why the fuck didn't we start with this?!?"

I said in a loud, angry tone, looking from the cut to his face.

"Didnt want you to worry."

He managed and I shook my head, getting my stuff out quickly.

"No, you don't get to do that. All this time and you could've been dead in my kitchen."

I said a little more pissed off than I meant. I started again by wiping the blood away, holding a dry wash cloth to his chest to stop it from bleeding more.

"Hold this, lots of pressure."

I instructed, his right hand coming up and doing as told. His left hand went back to my side as I started cleaning the small part of the cut at his jaw.

"What did you do frank?"

I inquired, again more as a 'thinking out loud' than looking for an actual answer.

"I backed up before he could run me all the way through. Damn ninja. Sliced up, almost took my fucking ear off."

I sent him a look, one he returned as I cleaned the thinner part of the cut, adding butterfly bandaids; two on his throat, one on his collar bone, one just below it on the edge of his peck.

"That's gonna need stitches."

He sighed, sinking further into the chair and his lower stomach pressing against my thighs.

"Alright. Let's get it over with."

He complied and i bit my tongue. I quickly got everything out, sterilized the needle and he moved his hand. It was still bleeding and I knew this would be messy. I leaned forward to get a better look and his hand went with my hip.

"Why don't you just sit."

He said and I looked up to him, brows drawn.

"What?"

I asked and he rolled his eyes, a small smile playing on his lips but it was barely there.

"Sit."

He said, grabbing my waist and pushing me down onto his leg. I made a surprised noise and he laughed, groaning a bit.

"fine, but don't move, I don't want to make it worse."

He stared down at me intently as I got to work stitching him up. His gaze was intense and he kept his iron grip on my hip the entire time. I would be flustered if I weren't so focused. The stitches were barely helping as I sewed against his chest. It was still bleeding a lot. And when the stitches were done it seemed like I had more work to do than when I started. I moved to clean it and he caught my hand.

"Is that really necessary?"

He asked and I deadpanned.

"Yes frank now let go."

I said sternly and he did, brows drawn as I poured the alcohol over his chest. He hissed, throwing his head back as he bruised my hip more. The blood ran freely down his torso as he breathed heavily, it rippling against his abs as they tensed. I took another dry rag and wiped it off. The bleeding was starting to slow now that the cut was together and I was more relieved. He looked back down at me, his chest rising and falling quickly.

"Shit woman you sure know how to do a number on me."

I smirked at him as I leaned over and put the stuff back on the tv tray.

"I've had a lot of practice."

I said a little cocky and he smiled.

"Good thing too."

He said and I rolled my eyes playfully.

"You're a menace frank castle. But I wouldn't want it any other way."

He just stared at me for a second and then I realized I was still sitting on him and should probably get up before it gets weird. I placed my hands at his shoulders and tried but he still had a grip on me that was prohibiting me from doing so.

"Frank?"

I asked and in a second his lips were against my own. It was then that I'd realized he had a cut on his lip. He tasted like iron and hissed through his teeth when I ran my tongue across it. I smiled against him but he kept going. It was needy and rushed and everything I had imagined it would be. Not that I had thought about it often but he wound up in my apartment covered in blood a couple times a month so I'd be lying if I said it hadn't crossed my mind once or twice.

"Frank."

I moaned against him as he kissed the side of my mouth, then my jaw, then across my neck. My arms were around his shoulders now, holding on for dear life as his hands roamed my body. I adjusted against his thigh and he growled against my ear, his hands guiding me to do it again. I did it without even thinking, pressing my core further against him if that was even possible. I could feel myself getting wetter and wetter and before I knew what was happening my own blood soaked shirt was off and sitting next to his on the glass table.

"I've been wanting to do this for a while."

He confessed through staggered breaths as he undid my bra, his mouth traveling across my collar bone and down my chest. Then my nipple was in his mouth and I was moaning again. I scratched lightly at the back of his head with one hand and trailed my finger tips down his torso with the other, being careful not to touch the cut. As I got further down his motions slowed, and when I began palming him through his jeans he rested his forehead against my chest and breathed heavily.

"Shit."

He breathed out and I laughed, his hips pushing up to meet my hand. He was already hard and I could tell he wanted more. As I undid his pants he sat back upright, kissing me again like his life depended on it. It was just as harsh and sloppy as before but he froze when I took him out of his pants, stroking him lightly. His eyes were closed and his mouth hung open and I could feel his hands at my thighs trying to push into my pajamas shorts. I kissed across his face, feeling his hot breath fan over my jaw and neck.

"Need you. Now."

He said, finally looking at me. His pupils were blown out and his eyes were black with lust as he pulled my one leg over his right one so I was sitting on his lap properly now. I kissed him again as he pushed my shorts and panties to the side, holding me against him. I looked down long enough to line him up and sank down onto him. I moaned at the new feeling, watching as he dropped his head back against the chair, his brows knitted together as he screwed his eyes shut. I kissed across his exposed neck and chest as I moved on top of him. His legs were still spread wide beneath me, helping me out as I rode him.

"Shit. Faster."

He managed, looking back to me as his hands gripped my ass tightly.

"Yes sir."

I said playfully, and he groaned. As I did as told he slapped my ass and I squealed in surprise, clenching around him. He screwed his brows together, watching my every move with intent as I bounced on top of him quickly.

"Frank."

I moaned, reaching down to circle my clit as he kept me steady on top of him.

"Keep going beautiful."

He encouraged and I dropped my head back, feeling the knot build in my stomach.

"Frank."

I whined again, my legs beginning to shake.

"Just a little bit more."

He grunted out, thrusting up to meet me as my movements got slower.

"Oh god."

I said panicked, as I felt closer, him pounding up into me.

"Oh my god."

I yelled as my body shook, my orgasm ripping through my body, pussy clenching around him. He held me close as I shook on top of him, riding out my high as he chased his own.

"Y/n."

He moaned, his thrusts getting harsher.

"Y/n."

He said a little louder and I could hear the chair creak. I lifted up and dropped to meet him and he moaned loudly against my neck, hand placed firmly at my back as he came in me. I could feel him twitch against my walls as his pace slowed. We both breathed heavily, sporadically, as we calmed down. We still had a death grip on each other, my arms around his shoulders, his arms around my waist, our heads pressed against one another. It was like the aftermath of a hurricane.

"Thanks."

I said through a breathy laugh and he sat up, brows drawn in confusion. His hands were at my hips now and I could feel him going soft in me.

"For what?"

"For the great ride cowboy."

I said with a wink and he smiled, shaking his head at me.

"Is that a fair trade off?"

He asked and I shrugged.

"I stitch you up and you cum in me, I don't know if that has the same affect."

He laughed, kissing my cheek.

"Would it make it better if I helped clean up?"

He asked, gazing up at me, an innocence to him that I hadn't seen before.

"How about this. We go take a shower to get this blood off both of us and then we'll see where that takes us."

He kissed my jaw, tracing his fingers lightly up my back.

"Sure thing doc."

#wattpad #x reader #smut #frank castle #the punisher #the defenders #marvel #imagines #one shots #336

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siancore · 3 years

Note

Hi Siancore, how’s your day? I wanted to ask how you write Sambucky Fanfics. Because I want to write a Sambucky chapter book, and I don’t really know how to write their personalities. Can you please help if not it’s ok. Thanks have a good day/night☺️

Hey. I’m doing okay today. Thank you for asking. I hope you’re well!

I’m happy to help you by going through how I write:

1. Their personalities 2. Chaptered fics

Firstly, I have drawn a lot from their 616 personalities as well as the little we’ve seen on screen pre-FATWS.

Let’s start with Sam. Some personality traits, attributes, and skills:

- Care-giver

- Compassionate

- Empathetic

- Adrenaline junkie

- Risk-taker

- Smart

- Charming

- Funny

- Staunch

- Physical prowess

Next, Bucky:

- Protector

- Morbid/wry sense of humour

- Self-deprecating

- Intuitive

- Caring

- Funny

- Dangerously skillful

- Empathetic

- Flirty

- Driven

Now, some mannerism that you should include:

- Sam crosses his arms over his chest when he is making a point

- Bucky narrows his eyes when he is concentrating

- Sam’s smile is bright

- Bucky’s smile makes his eyes crinkle at the corners

- Sam isn’t a fast runner, and Bucky never runs fast when he is with Sam

- Sam can fly, but choses to run (slowly) with Bucky

- They have been protective of one another in the heat of battle using their own physicality

- Both are super precise with their attacking and parrying

- Both have looked at one another with heart-eyes (it’s canon!)

- Both love to bicker with the other

Let’s now look at story structure:

Your overall goal: What story do you want to tell? What happens? How does it end?

For story ideas, this is the structure I follow:

1. Orientation: Who? Where? When?

2. Complication: Situation that causes difficulty for one or more of the characters.

3. Resolution: How the characters navigate the difficulty; how it has changed them.

4. Ending (optional): How they have learned from the changes.

For chapter outlines, I make sure to cover the following:

1. Setting/Time

2. Characters - main and background

3. Problem/Difficulty

4. Solution

I then use plot points as a chapter outline. By elaborating on the plot points (a paragraph per point - 250 words, give or take), I flesh out my story. Points are what you want to explore in the chapter, the story is the details that stem from the points i.e. what characters are doing/feeling/saying.

For writing in general, set a schedule. Word count goals are useful, too e.g. setting a goal for yourself to write 2 paragraphs of your story per day. If you stick to a standard chapter (2,500-3,000 words), writing 2-3 paragraphs per day, and then editing and proofreading on the weekend, means you could have an update posted each week.

Please keep in mind the following:

- Motivation to write will fluctuate

- Finding inspiration can sometimes be difficult

Don’t force it! Your story will come to you. Take your time. Allow yourself to be happy with what you have come up with before you share it.

Here’s a little example for you, if you wanted to tell a short multi-chapter romcom fluff fic about SamBucky being shy about asking one another on a date, you might flesh your idea out like this using plot points:

Overall Goal: Sam wants to ask Bucky out on a date, but he’s not had much success in the dating game for a while. They like one another, but both are shy and out of practice. Fluff ensues.

Chapter 1:

- Meet cute through mutual friend

- Instant attraction

- Shyness

- Difficulty: Not being confident enough to make their move

Chapter 2:

- Mutual pining

- Running into one another again

- General awkwardness

- Talking about their crush to their mutual friend

- Being persuaded by friend to act on feelings

- Difficulty: Misunderstanding - thinking their feelings are not reciprocated

Chapter 3:

- Getting to spend some time together without help of mutual friend

- Flirting

- Playful banter

- Finding that they are a good match

- Crushing on one another even more

- Awkwardness about the previous misunderstanding

- Finally asking the other person out

- Date is confirmed! Yay!

Chapter 4:

- Excited about date

- Nervous about the date

- Worrying they will screw it up

- The obligatory scene where a good friend helps them get ready

- Actual date

- Climax, ending in a kiss, another date, time jump to their wedding etc.

With your plot points, you can elaborate on them, and have your story flowing sequentially. Each point can end up being at least two paragraphs (around 250 words each). Always have your ending worked out, and use your plot points to get there.

Remember to follow your narrative structure in each chapter by setting the scene and showing which characters are involved.

Good dialogue enables you to show what is happening in your scene through your characters.

Space your ideas out and decide on which scenes you want to detail in each chapter. Don’t try to do too much! You don’t want your chapter to be convoluted; you don’t want impactful scenes to be lost because too much is happening.

Your first sentence of each chapter should grab your reader, and your final sentence should leave them wanting more.

One strategy that works for me when I need to flesh out an idea is to write the scene (plot point) as if it’s a recount I am telling someone. I then go back through the recount, and change it so it fits the narrative structure. For example, if we used the above story idea, the outline for Chapter 1 could look like this:

- SamBucky met through mutual friend, Steve.

- They hadn’t been known to one another before, but found one another very attractive.

- Both were shy, and a little out of practice since they had not dated with much success after their long-term relationships had broken down.

- Bucky thought Sam was smart, pretty, funny, easy-going.

- Sam thought Bucky was charming, handsome, kind, easy to talk to.

- Sam thought about asking him out.

- He thought about asking Sam out.

- They both wanted to see one another again, but was it too soon? They had only just met.

- There was an opening for one to ask the other on a date, but lack of confidence got in the way

- They missed their opportunity

All of these can be expanded on and fleshed out with: - Details about setting - What characters are thinking - What characters are feelings - What they are saying - What complications arise - How, if at all, it is resolved

Basically, if you know where you want your characters to end up, and you know which part of your story you want to focus on in which chapter, all you have to do is provide the details.

Chapter titles help with this, as well:

Chapter 1: The Meet Cute

Chapter 2: He’s Just Not that into Me?

Chapter 3: A Good Match

Chapter 4: Oh My Gosh, I have Nothing to Wear!

Here are a few more tips I can think of:

- Try to have a writing/updating schedule.

- Set a daily goal to write at least one paragraph of your story, and at least one conversation.

- Watch fanvids for inspiration.

- Talk to other writers in forums.

- Read! Read! Read! See what other fic writers are doing well and learn from them.

I hope this helps. Happy writing!

#sambucky #sambucky fanfiction #sambucky fic writing tips

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flowerzchild · 3 years

Text

WHY I BELIEVE ELRIEL IS ACOTAR 5

DISCLAIMER: As you have read from the title, this post is strictly pro-elriel and my personal opinion. If you don't agree or don't ship them then kindly move along no need to be mean to people on the internet over their personal preferences and opinions.

THE CASE OF THE BONUS CHAPTERS

In my opinion, if you base your argument that Elain and Azriel will not be together by only using his bonus chapter alone then it is very unwise.

As it stands, Azriel’s bonus chapter is only extra content that can be not read by the readers. This is proven by its accessibility only extends for US readers, even then the book that contains the chapter is only sold by one bookstore chain so many US readers don't have the chapter unless they are engaging in the fandom.

The same goes for Feysand’s bonus chapter. Granted, there is nothing altering in Feysand’s bonus chapter except to give us a little insight into how they came to name Nyx and them discussing Elain and her potential. However, there is one major line that makes it clear Elain’s book is next.

“Let’s focus on helping one sister before we start on the other”. (FEYRE’S BONUS CHAPTER IN ACOSF)

The line above had no business to be in Feysand’s bonus chapter if Elain’s book is not next.

Why? Well, the bonus chapters are placed at the end of the book and by the time we arrive at that chapter Nesta’s story is very much told.

Like, Sarah has said, I don’t think Nesta’s journey is finished, what I am saying is that her story is been told then it will go to the other sister, Elain.

Thus, for me, those two chapters only intend to be a confirmation of Elain’s book and Azriel as her love interest.

Now, if you want to argue that Azriel’s POV is a confirmation that he and Gwyn are mates then it should’ve been included in the actual book.

What I mean by included is his apparent ‘mate behavior’ toward her or hell anything resembling romantic interactions.

Why? So that casual reader also notices there is something going on between them.

Now, what is the purpose of Gwyn being in the bonus chapter? When you look back at the actual book, you will notice one thing that is mysterious about her: her singing/voice.

Nesta reacted to her singing and so did Azriel’s shadows. No, I am not saying she is 100% a lightsinger, I am saying that her presence in the bonus is meant to give us a little clue of her power not her and Az as mates. Like I said, there should've been something romantic between them that is included in the actual book. Their interactions in ACOSF are incomparable with Elriel's interaction.

But again, we shouldn’t base our argument on chapters that many may think not exist. The main evidence of the next book should be from ACOSF itself.

ELAIN AND ELRIEL’S BOOK CONFIRMATION IN ACOSF

Elain who seemed to be very compliant and passive suddenly show the other side of herself in ACOSF that take everyone by surprise.

Elain who everyone thinks is a people pleaser suddenly talked back to Nesta when she was about to be coddled.

Elain who has been passive since the original series suddenly volunteered to help find the dread troves or anything to help resolve the Koschei situation.

Now that Nesta couldn’t find the missing trove because she lost her powers and Feyre bound by the death bargain with Rhysand, who else the inner circle turned to?

Now, that Koschei is still a threat, which female character that was from the original series side character that had a connection with him and that’s been highlighted the glimpse of change in character throughout ACOSF?

You may argue that Elain showed little development in ACOSF, however, she is set to be the main character.

If she is not set to be the main character then it would make sense for her development to be in the background of another character’s story.

A main character’s character development is a part of their narrative journey to become a developed character at the end of the story (as we’ve seen with Nesta and Feyre). Therefore, we need to read it from their inner thoughts to witness and make sense of the scenes that make them a changed character.

Also, may I add that Nesta’s development was regressing not developing in ACOFAS but her book is next, isn’t it?

Now, when we have established that Elain is the next main character based on ACOSF alone, we must now analyze who will be her love interest.

It is either to be Lucien and Azriel (Tamlin never in the equation just because they are associated with flowers and no Elain doesn’t want to be coddled she literally talked bak to Nesta when Nesta doesn’t let her scry, where do you get that Tamlain shipper?).

Let’s compare their last interactions in ACOSF, shall we?

“Cassian’s heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen.” (ACOSF, CHAPTER 58)

“...Then his gaze shifted to Elain, and though it was utterly neutral, something charged went through it. Between them. Elain’s breath caught slightly...” (ACOSF, CHAPTER 58)

We have these two interactions between Elucien and Elriel in the same chapter as if Sarah herself wants to point out the obvious where Elain’s feelings truly lay.

I know Elriel's confirmation is probably not very convincing for some people. However, we must take into account both characters’ personalities.

If you have read Azriel's bonus then you will notice that Elain is very shy around Azriel (she was shaking and nervous when she gave his present remember?) and Azriel tends to mask his emotion when he is in the presence of others (Nesta is the one narrated their charged glance).

So yes, that scene is enough confirmation for their attraction, they are naturally quiet and shy. I expect no less from them as a confirmation especially when we don't have their POVs when we initially reach that part in ACOSF.

A POSSIBILITY OF GWYNRIEL/ELUCIEN BOOK IS NEXT?

The only way I could see Gwynriel getting a book is if their book is a novella.

As I have made a post here, Azriel and Gwyn do not have a direct (read: major) relation to the main plot that can carry it to its peak in ACOTAR 6.

Because of that their book should be a novella since nothing major happen in their book except that maybe they got together.

However, we know that the novella’s release date has been pushed back and forth and Sarah herself admitted in her March Instagram live that she doesn’t know what the novella is going to be.

So it safe to assume that the next installment will not be the novella, rather, the full book or the actual book which inherently will be Elain's and by default Elriel's.

The next book could be about Elucien if only they have interactions at all in ACOSF so that it will build up their unresolved conflict. I’m basing this argument on Nesta and Cassian’s interaction in ACOFAS.

In ACOFAS, despite the fact that Nesta and Cassian were fighting there were indeed interactions between them that must be resolved. Instead, in ACOSF the only interactions that actually happen and need to be solved are between Elain and Azriel.

“He’d been replaced in training by a stone-faced Azriel, who was more aloof than usual and wouldn’t even give her a smile.” (ACOSF, CHAPTER 59)

The thing that needs to be resolved between them is explained by their misunderstanding that happened in his bonus chapter.

Yes, I am aware that I said we shouldn’t base our argument on his bonus chapter, however, the line above is a direct callback and outcome to what happens between Elain and Azriel as well as Rhysand’s warning in his bonus chapter.

How else you’re going to explain why Azriel became more aloof than usual if not resorting back to that particular fight between him and Rhysand because of Elain? How else you're going to explain why Elain and Azriel suddenly stop interacting after they are confirmed to be attracted toward one another?

Regardless of our contrasting opinions and interpretation of Azriel’s POV, we must remember that it is a bonus chapter and those scenes in his bonus might not be canon for those who have not read it or learned of its existence.

Also, in order to speculate the next book's main character, we need to get past the barrier of romantic interactions and actually think about what the next main character will contribute to the main plot of the story.

As it stands, only Elain can carry a book by herself regardless of any romantic subplot. And because Elain’s book is next and we’ve seen close to zero interactions between her and Lucien then her love interest will be Azriel.

Elucien and Elriel have been built up alongside each other since ACOMAF, and yet only one of them that’s progressed and is being set up when it comes to the plotline. So yes, Elriel is the endgame.

#elriel #pro elain #elain archeron #pro elriel #anti elucien #anti gwynriel #azriel

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sineala · 3 years

Text

Captain America: The Great Gold Steal

I wrote this up last week because I did not have access to my usual comics files but I figured I could review something that was just a book. So here is a review of the 1968 Captain America novel Captain America: The Great Gold Steal by Ted White, with an introduction by Stan Lee. I really liked it, actually! It was surprisingly good!

This novel features: Cover art of Captain America holding his shield in one hand and a very large gun in the other! A scene where the villains dramatically unmask Captain America and have absolutely no idea who he is! Captain America being extremely, extremely depressed about being in the future! Captain America dropping acid!

(I'm not kidding about the last part. In this novel there is a lot of LSD use. By Captain America. Talk about something the Comics Code wouldn't ever let you put in a comic book. Thank you, 1968.)

Faithful readers may remember that some time ago I posted reviews of Marvel prose novels from the 1970s. There was a line of prose novels featuring everyone's favorite Marvel superheroes, published by Pocket Books in the late 70s; I have reviews of the Iron Man, Captain America, and Avengers entries in the series; I liked the Iron Man one best, and I also have a Doctor Strange one I have not yet read. They're all short and action-packed paperback reads, of varying quality; the only one by anyone you might have heard of is the Avengers one, which was written by David Michelinie, who was actually writing the Avengers run at the time. That one was, um. An experience.

(Yes, it's "prose novel" because otherwise the assumption is "graphic novel.")

Marvel still publishes prose novels now, of course, also of varying quality; some are new plots and some are straight-up novelizations of comics arcs, which I guess is useful if you want to, say, read Civil War and not look at pictures at the same time. I also have a bunch of those that I could probably review if anyone wants. But, anyway, I personally am particularly intrigued by the older Marvel prose novels, both because the stories are all original and not retellings, and also because I often prefer the characterization found in older comics. And the older prose novels of course use the then-current characterization. So reading a Marvel prose novel from 1979 is like getting to read a brand-new comic from 1979, and that's a whole lot of fun for a nerd like me. Also do you know what's not subject to the Comics Code? Prose novels. So things can happen in these that definitely could not happen in comics of the same era.

This brings me to my current prose novel, which is something else entirely. I mean, okay, not really, it's still a Marvel prose novel. But it's not part of the same line. It's actually a lot older.

Bantam Books actually published Marvel prose novels in the late 60s. Yep, a full decade earlier. They published exactly two, so I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that they were probably not bestsellers. The first one, which I do not own and now sort of want to track down, was an Avengers novel in 1967, The Avengers Battle the Earth-Wrecker. And then in 1968 they published the novel I am currently holding in my hands, Captain America: The Great Gold Steal by Ted White.

(I am still not sure why no one involved in titling this book thought of the word "theft.")

Judging by the back copy, it appears to be about Captain America foiling the villains' dastardly plan to steal gold from the Federal Reserve. Oh boy. Fun.

So this book is from 1968. The modern Marvel universe had kicked off just a few short years ago! Captain America was just getting his own solo book after the end of Tales of Suspense! And here's a novel about him, back when certain elements of his characterization were perhaps a little more flexible than they are today, by which I mean that the cover art -- which the internet informs me was painted by Mitchell Hooks -- is a striking full-body portrait of Captain America, head held high, shield in one hand... and a very large gun in the other. Hell, yeah. Not gonna see that in today's Cap comics, are you? It's amazing and I love it.

(Okay, you might see that in Ults. I'm pretty sure I have seen that in Ults, actually. But this is still cool.)

So the cover art is a definite plus, and apparently it's one of the few reasons anyone has ever heard of this novel. The other reason -- and the reason this is more expensive than the later novels, I assume -- is that Stan Lee's name is slapped on the cover, because he wrote an introduction. (I think I paid about $30 for this. The others were definitely under $20.)

All right. Here we go.

The first page is actually a brief summary of Steve's origin story, but not a version I was familiar with. Steve was born July 9, 1917 (yes, I was surprised too), was orphaned at a young age, and was a student at Columbia University (!) before Rebirth, which in this version is a gradual process that is also extremely body-horror. Steel tubing was inserted into the marrows of his bones. He was fed "high-protein compounds." Then they gave him a chemical that "gave him complete control over every nerve, muscle, and cell in his now-magnificent body." Sweet. Where can I get some of that?

The blurb also confirms his control over his own metabolism as well as his healing factor ("wounds would heal in half the normal time"), which is nice, because sometimes I wonder if canon even remembers the healing factor.

(I don't know why Marvel has this kink for filling people's bones with metal, though. It's not actually empty in there, guys! You need your bone marrow! How else do you want people to make new blood cells?)

The book is dedicated to "Jack Kirby and Stan Lee, without whom there would be no Captain America." Hey, Marvel, Joe Simon would like a word with you. I'm just saying.

The Stan Lee introduction is three paragraphs written in Stan Lee's, um, inimitable, distinctive and extremely florid narrative style -- if you've read any of his work, you know what I mean -- and making the point that Captain America is incredible and you will like him. If you are just discovering him for the first time, you will definitely like him. Okay. Thanks. I guess.

Oddly, the writing style here is substantially different than any of the other Marvel prose novels I've read; it doesn't immediately front-load you with exposition and a cast of colorful superheroes. It opens with a sort of James Bond spy-novel feel, running through a series of unnamed villains and bystanders, and a man who wants nothing more than to talk to Captain America but is killed before he can. Steve comes in halfway through the chapter, and he seems to be written for a reader who doesn't necessarily know who he is, and he isn't introduced as Captain America with his shield flying ahead of him to smite evildoers, or anything like that. He's just a tall, handsome blond guy who is reading a bunch of novels and is unsatisfied by all of them because all he can think of is the past. It's definitely an attitude I would expect from Steve in this era -- he is very much a Man Out Of Time here -- but it's also not how I expected the book to introduce him. You wouldn't even know he was Captain America by the end of the opening chapter, which then ends with a digression about the history of NYC subway tunnels. It's like it wants to appeal to someone who has watched a bunch of Man from UNCLE and just wants to read a cool thriller. Which is not at all what I was expecting.

By the beginning of the second chapter, of course, we discover that Steve is Captain America, as he changes into his uniform. The narration refers to him as Rogers when it's in his POV, if anyone is curious. He apparently keeps the cowl off in the mansion, because the cowl annoys him.

It was not so much that he needed to conceal his identity these days, because for all intents and purposes he had no other identity. Steve Rogers was officially dead, and had been for almost twenty years. Captain America *was* his identity. It was only when he donned the tight-fitting blue uniform with its shield chest-emblem, the red snug-fitting leather boots, and the heavy, yet pressure-sensitive red-leather gauntlets, that he began to feel real -- a complete human being.

Steve? Buddy, are you okay there? You're really not okay, are you, huh?

You see what I mean? They're really hitting the early-canon angst. Hard.

(Also it sounds like his uniform is a few sizes too small.)

We then get an expanded version of the backstory from the beginning excerpt. In this version of canon, Steve actually has an older brother, Alan, who is handsome and athletic and basically amazing, and when they are orphaned they are raised by their aunt and uncle. Steve gets TB twice as a kid, nearly dies from it, and when the stock market crashes, ends up separated from his brother and in an orphanage after his uncle loses everything.

(Honestly if I were writing this book, his brother would be the secret villain. Chekhov's Gun!)

Steve has glasses, gets bullied, is a nerd and an honor student, and studies law at Columbia because he wants to help stop fraudulent business practices and also fight organized crime. Legally, I mean. In a manner relating to law. I guess he's sort of like Daredevil. The lawyer part of Daredevil.

And then he joins Rebirth, and this is the part where I had to put the book down for several minutes, because Erskine's secret chemical, the key to making super-soldiers... is LSD.

Oh my God. You should see my face right now. My expression is, I am sure, indescribable. I'm trying not to wake the dog up laughing.

I just. Holy shit. This book is from 1968 in a way I definitely was not expecting. What the fuck, Marvel?

This project was headed by the brilliant biochemist, Dr. Erskine. His work with the endocrine system, and chemical body control, was well beyond that of his contemporaries. Only he, of all his colleagues, had fathomed the secrets of the Swiss Dr. Hoffman's 1938 discovery -- the mind-controlling LSD-25.

Let's just pause here for a few minutes and contemplate this.

I will point out that Albert Hofmann (yes, the book spelled his name wrong) didn't actually discover that LSD was a hallucinogen until 1943 when he accidentally tried it, but I am positive that 1968 here was a time when Some People were convinced LSD was a wonder drug. I'm still laughing. As far as I can tell, legal manufacturing of it stopped in 1965 so I am pretty sure that the author did not just decide to name a drug that had an ostensible legal therapeutic use, because it wouldn't have still had one by '68.

Anyway, in this version of events, Rebirth is a month-long process that involves a lot of vitamins, physical conditioning and training, and, yes, putting metal in his bones like he's the next Wolverine. They're filling his bones with stainless steel rods to make him stronger. That doesn't seem like a great idea to me, but I am also not sure about dropping acid to gain superpowers. Clearly I am not a genius scientist. Also Erskine knows what DNA is, apparently, because he's just that great. Anyway. Other than the metal, those all seem like relatively normal interventions. So far.

Now Steve has become fairly big and strong (and I guess he still has metal in his bones? this concerns me!) but they need to make him superhuman, so, yes, really, it's time to drop acid. Several pages of this book are devoted to describing Steve's acid trip. His acid trip is amazing and he discovers that he has conscious control of his entire body down to the cellular level. He can control the adrenaline in his bloodstream! He can tighten his muscle fibers! And when he's done tripping he still remembers how to do this, if not exactly on a conscious level, but he can still access the abilities. And that is how you make a super-soldier. It's LSD. Remember, kids, drugs are awesome! Do drugs!

Let's maybe take a few more minutes to think about this.

I just. I have no words. How did anyone at Marvel agree to print this?

I think for the most part superhero origin stories tend not to involve real drugs because people are generally aware that drugs they've heard of won't make you into a superhero. I guess this is what it looks like when you invoke the names of real drugs. They probably wanted something that sounded more realistic but somehow I don't think this was the best way to go. (Radiation, of course, will definitely make you into a superhero but I feel like most people have accepted that as one of the conventions of the genre.)

Anyway, after that Erskine gets killed by Nazis, of course, and Steve goes to war, and for some reason this book contains footnotes by Stan Lee himself listing the comics you can read all of this in. Just like the actual comics do!

We are introduced to Bucky, who for some reason is also from the LES in this version, although not anyone Steve knew before the war, and there is of course a description of Bucky's tragic death and Steve's subsequent icing.

They are really, really stressing the Man Out Of Time thing here:

No other man could have survived so fantastic a voyage through time. And no other man could feel so displaced by time.

He was a man twenty years in his own future. By rights, he should be nearly fifty years old -- nearly twice the age of his fellow Avengers. Yet his mind and his body were not yet thirty.

When the Avengers had brought him back to New York with them and insisted that, as an honored hero of the past, he join them, he felt a sort of melancholy homesickness for his own time and world.

We then get a few paragraphs with the usual being sad that he let Bucky down and got him killed, and also that he misses his family, and that Steve Rogers doesn't exist anymore, and that nobody is alive who remembers him, and that war is hell.

Hey, Steve, maybe the drugs you should do are antidepressants. Just a thought.

Also, this book is 118 pages and we're not out of the origin story flashback until page 34. I think there are some pacing issues here.

Actually, I lied, the flashback keeps going, but now we're up to the Avengers finding him, and I have to say that the list of things Steve finds strange about the future is kind of charming when the future is 1968. Men have long hair! Women have shorter skirts! Everyone is kind of blasé about rocket launches because there have been so many space missions now. (Oh, come on, you haven't even landed on the moon yet, 1968! You're not that blasé.) Color TV! And, excitingly, LPs! You can now listen to 36 minutes of consecutive music. (I actually don't know what previous standard he's describing that is a ten-inch record that holds six minutes a side because I don't think 45s are that big. Yeah, no, I just checked and 45s are seven inches in diameter. Hmm. Oh, never mind. He means 78 rpm, doesn't he? In my defense, the record player my family had when I was a kid didn't play those.)

The description of Steve coming into New York for the first time is definitely written by someone who knows New York, which is fun. There is generally a lot of local flavor to the setting of this book. That’s one of the best parts.

There is a brief summary of Steve's feelings about all the Avengers -- he is most impressed by Thor, which, I mean, fair, he's an actual god -- and Hank telling him all about how he can live in Tony's mansion. With Jarvis. Who Hank says is actually from Flatbush. Apparently Steve spent a lot of time at the NYPL branch at 5th and 42nd trying to catch up on history. And then of course the Avengers ditched him and gave him the Kooky Quartet, and for some reason they're not here right now either so it's just Steve being sad and alone and dealing with this mysterious dead guy. I think probably the book is also done explaining fiat currency now. This is definitely the weirdest Marvel novel I've read.

Anyway, we have now returned to what is ostensibly the actual plot. Steve shows up at the New York Federal Reserve Bank (I guess the theft is happening here and not, like, at Fort Knox) with the gold bullion that the dead guy from the beginning of the book had on him -- I think I got distracted by the LSD bit and forgot to mention that part, but the dead guy was carrying some US government gold -- because the actual plot is that villains are trying to tunnel into the bank vault and steal gold. Steve discovers this after he gets the bank manager to give him a tour. The bank manager tries to refuse, citing security concerns -- Captain America could be anyone under that mask, after all! Steve just smiles and says, "If I removed my mask, would you have any better idea of who I am?" and I guess that's a flawless argument because he gets his tour.

(I'm sorry, all I can think of is that one gif from the JLA cartoon where Lex Luthor bodyswaps with the Flash, announces that now that he's in the Flash's body he's going to discover the Flash's secret identity, then pulls off his own mask, stares at himself in the mirror, and says, "I have no idea who this is.")

Given that the theme of Steve's interior life in this novel is "Steve Rogers died twenty years ago" it seems even more sad that Steve is just walking around basically saying, yeah, well, I'm nobody. And apparently that is being reaffirmed for him by the narrative.

So Steve goes down the tunnels, takes out some of the bad guys, and gets himself knocked out and buried in a collapsing tunnel. Don't worry, he's gonna be fine.

A lot of this book, by the way, is from the POV of random people, like this bank guard who went with Steve into the tunnels:

He had wondered, briefly, if a man like Captain America ever knew the pinch of too many bills, had ever felt desperate over the arrival of yet another mouth to feed. But, of course, Captain America had no family, and would hardly concern himself with such matters. It didn't occur to Thompson to wonder if this in itself might not be something for which to pity Captain America.

Rude. I mean, come on, do we really need random characters telling us Steve is a sad sack whom nobody loves? Steve's already got that covered! (Also, how does this guy know Captain America has no family?)

Anyway, thanks to the power of LSD, Steve is going into a trance, amping up his metabolism (he loses "several pounds" in a few minutes), and making himself super-strong so he can dig himself out. Hooray. This is definitely how human bodies work. Also LSD. This is definitely how LSD works. Yes.

Steve then finds out that a couple of the guards who were with him in the tunnels died down there and he goes home and eats dinner while stewing in miserable guilt because he was responsible for their deaths. He's really not okay. I'm not sure the book actually understands how not okay they have made him. Then someone from SHIELD is on the phone for him and he is briefly cheered up by the thought that it might be Sharon although I think we should also note that the narrative makes it clear that at this point in canon Steve still doesn't know her name. Remember when that was a thing?

Alas, it is not Sharon; it's just a random SHIELD agent who happens to have information about the plot and asks to meet. Then, as Steve leaves to go to the meeting, we get two pages of exhaustive description about the mansion layout and how it's built relative to the surrounding buildings. It feels like this book was written by a frustrated city planner. But anyway, the meeting is a setup and the villains capture Steve.

They knock Steve out, drug him, take him to their hideout, and tie him to a chair. Except, once again thanks to the power of LSD, the tranquilizer they're using wears off way sooner than they expected and so Steve feigns unconsciousness and listens to them discuss their evil plans.

And then the villains unmask him and I swear it's exactly like that JLA gif:

Rogers heard footsteps scuffing across a thick carpet, and then Sparrow's voice again, almost directly over him. His ears still buzzed, but he fought to catch the elusive familiarity of the man's tone. He wished he dared open his eyes.

"This is a moment which I, personally, have long awaited," Sparrow said, his voice rising in triumph. "*The unmasking of Captain America!*"

Then, his nails scraping along Rogers' face, Sparrow dug his fingers under his cowl, and ripped it back. Rogers felt air strike his exposed cheeks and forehead. Then fingers clutched his blond hair and pulled his head back. "Behold!" Sparrow said.

Raven was first to speak. "Well, I dunno about you, Sparrow, but it rings no bells with me. I never seen him before."

Starling agreed. "His face means nothing to me."

"He could be anybody," said Robin. "What good does this do?"

Sparrow let Rogers' head fall back to his chest, and his voice when he spoke was defeated. "I don't know. Nothing, I guess. I always wondered. I felt, if these guys -- these costumed heroes -- wore masks, it must mean something."

"Captain America was missing for twenty years," Starling said. "That could mean the first one died, and this one took his place. He looks awfully young."

"Perhaps. It doesn't really matter. Let's get going."

(Yes, the villains all have bird-themed codenames. I have no idea why.)

This scene just makes my day. I love dramatic unmaskings. I bet they'd have been a lot happier unmasking Iron Man.

The villains then leave Steve and go to a power plant, where we switch POVs to one of the plant employees and get two entirely unnecessary paragraphs about his racist and anti-Semitic thoughts about his coworkers before the villains murder him. Great. Thanks.

Anyway, the villains cause a blackout, while meanwhile they've left Steve alone with the girl villain, and Steve is busy trying to persuade her that crime doesn't pay. He's moved from the "do you know what they'll do to you in prison?" theme onto "how exactly are you going to spend a billion dollars in gold bullion when it's illegal for civilians to possess? who are you going to do business with?" and then points out that gold is heavy and hard to transport, which is when she gets out a a knife.

The bad guys are off to steal the gold, and Steve has now successfully turned the girl they left him with, because she frees him. Of course, the first thing he does is put the cowl back on.

"Why do you wear that?" she asked.

"The mask?" He smiled. "It gives people something external to concentrate upon."

"But..."

"Without it, I'm just another ordinary-looking man. With it, I become a symbol. For some people it creates awe; for others, fear. Look at me. I'm different now, aren't I? With the mask on."

"Yes," she nodded. "You look -- bigger, somehow. Stronger. Fierce, implacable. You look a little scary."

"Exactly. You no longer see me as a person, but as a thing -- an Avenger. It can be a potent psychological weapon."

"They were so disappointed, when they took your mask off. As though underneath they'd find a famous person."

"Maybe that goes on TV -- handsome playboys, and all that. But I've been anonymous all my life. Even my real name would be meaningless to you, to them. No, the mask is part of the uniform, a psychological device. That's the whole story.

Now: let's get out of here. You have a good deal more to tell me yet, and we can't waste more time."

Bwahaha. In a few years, Steve's going to be pretty surprised about who superheroes are, I think.

STEVE, now: Superheroes definitely aren't secretly handsome playboys! That would be silly! STEVE, after Molecule Man: fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK I'm such an idiot

I'm definitely looking forward to that.

Also, not that the issue of Steve's psyche actually recurs after this, but he's once again having the narrative vindicate his belief that Steve Rogers is dead and whoever he is under the cowl doesn't matter. Steve, I don't think this is very healthy.

Steve then tracks down the villains stealing the gold, has some geopolitical thoughts about where the gold could be going (he thinks either South Africa or Russia for the best laundering potential) and then hides himself in the villains' trunk while they drive to Staten Island, which is where they're taking the gold out of the country from.

During the final confrontation, Steve finally gets to see the villains, and he discovers that the one in charge is in fact the director of the Federal Reserve Bank who Steve met at the beginning of this book. Gasp. But that's not all! He's also... the Red Skull!

Honestly, I was kind of surprised; I didn't think this was the kind of book where we'd get any known comic villains, but I guess it's always gotta be the Red Skull. I think he's the only one of Steve's big villains who likes to disguise himself; Zemo has obvious disguise issues and I imagine it's also hard to cover up Zola's Teletubby-esque television body.

Steve shoots one of the villains, because I guess that's what he does in this era of canon.

So the plot wraps up in, like, two pages, because for some reason all these early Marvel novels wrap up very fast. Red Skull, of course, attempts to escape and then disappears and his body is never found. The end.

Well.

That was definitely a book. That I read. Believe it or not, I actually think it was the best of these early Marvel prose novels that I've read so far, even if it was also the absolute weirdest; I thought the thriller-style plot was entertaining, I liked Steve and his Extremely Sad characterization, I obviously enjoy all the identity themes, I liked how very detailed the New York setting was, and I do like how they tried to treat it all seriously. I mean, sure, this did lead to LSD in the super-soldier serum in presumably the name of realism, but I felt like the book was trying to present superheroes in a way that didn't feel silly and also didn't really take for granted that the reader would automatically accept superheroes.

It felt like a book that was written hoping that people who weren't superhero fans would read it, if that makes any sense. And I thought that was interesting, because most modern superhero work that I can think of assumes they've got complete audience buy-in and everyone is willing to suspend their disbelief and we all know the genre conventions and are expecting people running around in brightly-colored spandex. Whereas this is more like a James Bond novel if for some reason James Bond were called upon to defend his decision to wear brightly-colored spandex instead of bespoke suits. But I assume no one read it, because Bantam never published a Marvel book after this one.

If you can actually find a copy of this one for a price you're willing to pay. I recommend it. It was delightful and way more solid than I thought it was going to be.

Also, come on, you know you want to read about Captain America's acid trip.

#posts i actually wrote

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spencstan · 3 years

Text

Six of Crows re-read

(i also did this for the shadow and bone trilogy so read that if you want to)

spoiler alert obiously

i'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS this is my comfort book (with crooked kingdom of course)

JOOST HI

oo fun fact this was my first grishaverse book and i read it with no context whatsoever except that the mc is an emo boy and morally grey

so IMAGINE my pure confusion when JOOST appeared

i was like ?????? weird take on morally grey character but ok

joost trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl is a mood

anyone wanna teach us how to???

i kinda wanna skip this part so i can see the crows..

but i won't don't worry

(won't I?

"I think Yuri may be quarantined"

aaaand?

so are we you are not special

i feel like it's very important for me to mention that i read this book in spanish first

and then i got into the fandom and i was like who the fuck is the wraith? i only know El Espectro

Heartender who??? ooo you mean Cardio

Tidemakers? nope, i only know Maremotores

for real i was so confused i had to re-read it in english (not that i mind tho)

say whatever you want about the spanish version but we have to agree that this design is pretty af

another one yay: "Retvenko was a Squaller" vs. "Retvenk era un Impulsor"

(should i also say that in my pfd english version the book is 294 pages long and in my pdf spanish version its 532????) (i think it's because in the english one the speces are way less like the lines are so close together wtf

i've decided that i'm bored so i'll be skiping this chapter

anya is super badass tho

skdgfalsdgfliaysvfascvhjl yesssssss inej

Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KAZ

INEJ

I MISSED THEM

omg now i can picture amita and freddy SDJGKASKGLASG THIS IS AMAZING

we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to watch the shadow and bone trailer once again to hear freddy's beautiful voice

ok moving on!

now hear me out i'm giving you all permission to make fun of kaz for this one: Dirtyhands = Manos Sucias

hello i am Kaz Manos Sucias. nice to meet you!

AAAAA

AAAAAAAAAA

JESPER FAHEY

JESPER LOVE HI

SJDGHFKAHSGDLAJSDFSJ,AHFLHDSGF

I MISSED HIM OMG

OMG NOW I CAN PICTURE HIM AS KIT

can you tell jesper is one of my favourite characters?

i really love the fact that kaz is pissed about the murder of that ambassador ONLY because he can´t figure out how it happen

he´s such a nerd

i can't believe one of the firts things we hear jesper say is threathen to kill someone by writing "forgive me" with bullets

AND HE CALLS HIS GUNS "BABIES" OMG

picture saying hi baby and wylan thinkin he's talking to him but actually jesper's talking to one of his guns

Jesper rolled his eyes. "It's about sending a message. What's the point of a dead guy with forg written on his chest?."

"Compromise," Kaz said. "I'm sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets."

ooo thank god we have kaz to come up with creative solutions /j /s

honestly i love how they talk about kaz's cane like it's the scariest weapon ever (which it kind of is)

nothing will ever disappoint me more than finding out that in english their gang name is "the Dregs". like i don't even know for sure what that means

in spanish is "Los Indeseables" (the undesirables?) which sounds a lot more badass

no hate tho i like the dregs

but i was confused af bc i expected it to be sometihng like "the undesirables" or"the unwanted" or whatever

and it said "the dregs"

which in the translator means something like shit or something

anways moving on:

If he'd (kaz) ever been a little boy

i love how lowkey all the crows think he was just born exactly like he is now

imagine a baby kaz all dressed in black and threatening people

cute

"No mourners," Jesper said as he tossed his rifle to Rotty

"No funerals," the rest of the Dregs murmured in reply. Among them, it passed for "good luck".

YES

YESSS

i wonder what wylan's doing right now :))

i can't wait for the next book where he has a pov

the first time i read this book i literally looked at the title of every chapter to see if he ever got one (i was disappointed to say the least :((((

Besides, she was the Wraith - the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.

ma'am

marry me please

i'm gonna cry so hard once the show is out and we get to see inej omg

me simp

That Kaz had chosen Jesper to be one of his seconds was no surprise. Twitchy as Jepser was, with or without his revolvers, he was at his best in a fight, and she knew he'd do anything for Kaz.

idk why but i just love it every time kaz implies or shows that he cares or trusts jesper

it makes me soft

But every one of Inej's senses told her that was not how this was going to play out. Her father would have said the shadows were about their business tonight. Something bad was going to happen here.

underrated saying from Inej's father right there

"I'm a business man," he told her."No more, no less"

"You're a thief, Kaz."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

i see no lies here

not to be annoying but i hc jesper as adhd (i mean is pretty much as canon as wylan's dyslexia) so i'm gonna write here every time i see evidence :)

jesper with adhd part 1: impulsivity

Jesper snorted. "Stomach, spine. What's next, spleen?"

"Shut it" Oomen snarled. The rules of parley dictated that only the lieutenants could speak once negotiations had begun. Jesper mouthed "sorry" and elaboratedly pantomimed locking his lips shut.

he know he couldn't speak but couldn't stop himself from making a comment (i relate way too much to that lmao)

hoestly poor jesper he had to watch hid friend get shot and kaz do nothing about it

i would've been mad too

"I like it when men beg," she said. "But this isn't the time for it"

KAHGFAHLGSFGASFLGSAFS

this is one of the best quotes in the book by far

YASSS KAZ POV

Kaz could have tol Jesper that he knew he wasn't dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him eough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.

cute

but kaz is petty af

he didn't even have a reason not to tell jesper that!

i love that kaz knows inej is following him but doesn't say anything because he wants to wait until she's ready

i LOVE the scene where kaz in in the van eck mantion /srs

idk why but it's so good

And, of course, there was the mystery of Van Eck's son.

wonder what that could be!!! /s

He grinned at her (...)

"Hmm." she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin.

KANEJ YESS

HE'S BASICALLY SHOWERING IN FRONT OF HER OMG

this is so funny poor inej is getting flustered

"And I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

YES WYLAN OMG

One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder

happens to the best of us :/

"Please, my darling Inej. treasure of my heart won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

if kaz doesn't say this on the show we riot

agreed?

it's so amazing how nina found a way to use her powers to get money instead of having to like steal and murder like the rest in the gang

NINA'S POV YESSS HIII

nina and inej omg

their friendship is just perfect

POOR MATTHIAS HE HAS TO FIGHT THE WOLVES

i would straight up cry

Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her

i'm gonna cry damn it

this is the enemies-to-lovers we all needed

jesper has adhd part 2:

"Jesper was supposed to wait until three bells." said the pale boy

"It is three bells, Kaz." replied a small girl (...)

"Since when is Jesper punctual?" the boy complained with a glance at his watch

the time blindness come one

(btw i love the fact that kaz plans around jesper's time blindness instead of like threatening him to be on time)

i really love how every one feels the need to take the time to say/think that the masks are ugly

its so unnecessary lmao

yessss inej is a badass that kills monster we stan

and matthias is lowkey impressed lmao

as he should

"Thank you, Jesper," said Nina

"You're very welcome, gorgeous. See, Kaz? That's how the civilised folk do"

THESE TWO OMG

JESPER IS THE LOML

INEJ OMG LOOK:

She stepped aside as if she's known he was coming, languidly hooking her heel behind his ankle. Matthias let out a loud grunt as he landed on the stones

(...) "Clumsy, this one," the bronze girl said impassively.

that's what happen when you underestimate her bitch

AAAAAAA

PEOPLE

TIME TO FREAK OUT

WYLAN IS HERE

AND HE'S DOODLING STOP IT'S SO CUTE

ok jesper has adhd part 3 i think:

"Just how crazy is he?" asked Jesper, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his revolvers.

ok first of all: stimming

second of all: hyperactivity

i rest my case

ok 2 or 3 things here

"I believe you know Nina," Brekker continued. "The lovely girl freeing you is Inej. (...) and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel"

"Raske is better," Inej said

The boy looked up, ruddy gold hair flopping in his eyes, and spoke for the first time. "He's not better. He's reckless"

"He knows his trade"

"So do I"

ok 1: kaz calling inej lovely omg kanej

2: YES WYLAN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF

2.5: kaz calling him the best cute af

3: honestly why do people think wylan is like an innocent soft boy or whatever. he's in a room full of murderers and thieves and the first thing he does is correct them and stand up for himself

like i wish i could do that

i would be crying like a bitch

AAAAAAAA

"Meet Wylan Van Eck"

KHDSGFALSGFIASGFAL

HI WYLAN BABY

YESSS JESPER'S POV NOW

I'M SO HAPPY also look at this it's the first thing in his pov

Jesper stared at Wylan

do i sense some wesper?????

ok everyone is being so mean to him right now

they are aclling him useless and an idiot and other shit

poor boy honestly he had to deal with this + taking part of a heist he is definetly not ready for + he has to hide the fact that he can't write or read

it so distrubing that kaz is literally the nicest one to wylan right now

"See that? Hidden depths." (...)"He's good enough at demo, and he's got a fine hand for sketching, thanks to all those pricey tutors."

(...)

"There you have it," Kaz said to Jesper. "Marketable skills. Wylan is watching you, Helvar"

GET READY

ARE Y'ALL READY?

OK THEN:

"Scheming face," Jesper whispered to Inej.

She nodded. "Definetly."

THEIR FRIENDSHIP OMG

AND THIS QUOTE

I NEED IT ON THE SHOW THEY BETTER GIVE IT TO US

"Who's Mark" damn wylan (but pretty good comeback to jesper tho)

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?

"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.

"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.

"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.

"You're all horrible," said Matthias.

tag yourself i'm jesper

KJSFGAL kaz just told wylan to tell him everything he know about his dad's company

and he said he doesn't know and kaz was like "and you never looked trough his documents????

AND THEN HE GOT SAD AND SAID HE HADN'T (and kaz believed him this is sad)

AND NOW JESPER CALLED HIIM USELESS

ok you know i love you jes but if you keep this up

idk i can't do anything you're a sharpshooter

but stiiiiiil

LMAO MATTHIAS ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT KAZ

nice try

demjin

*insert spongebob voice* demjin

WE'RE GONNA TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO APPRECIATE INEJ GAHFA

BECAUSE KAZ DOESN'T

The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.

*ugly crying*

Many boys will bring you flowers. But some day you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favourite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.

*uglier crying*

TANTE HELLEN IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

SOMEONE PLEASE STAB HER FOR ME

jesper has adhd part ?? (i have dyscalculia you can't expect me to remember the number):

That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.

do i really need to explain this?

ok just in case.. an adhd brain doesn't actually have a deficit of attention(the name just sucks) it's problem with controling that attention. the brain is always looking for new sources of dopamine which is why it shifts its focus so much

i love that jes thinks of matthias as "tha giant"

like sir

have you seen yourself?

you're tall af

HE GOT SHOT

WHY DID I FORGET JESPER GETS SHOT IN THE LEG HERE

"Close your eyes!"

"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan"

"Just do it!"

i love the energy BUT NOW IT'S NOT THE TIME JES

YESS WYLAN SHOW THEM THEY WERE WRONG CALLING YOU USELESS

inej just stabed some guy int the d

good for her!

KAZ YESSSS HI

AWWW SHE'S WORRIED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CANE

KANEJ FOR LIFE

oh no wylan got shot too???? (just barely but stilllll por baby)

my Wraith omggg

ok 3 things about this:

Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.

"No!" Wylan shouted, leaning over the railing, his face pale, stunned eyes tracking Oomen in the waves. (...)

Jesper set his hand on Wylan's shoulder. "Let it go."

"It's not right-"

"Wylan," Jesper said, giving him a little shake."Maybe your tutors didn't cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blook and a knife up his sleeve"

1. wesper yasssss

2. wylan just argued with a mant hat had just tacken the eye out of someone. he literally called him out for being an asshole. like damn wylan is brave af i love him

3. do you think seeing kaz trow the guy out of the boat reminded wylan of when the same thing happened to him???? this makes me sad

he's brave and a good person and i just-

"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.

"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him

this had no right being so funny

AND THEN KAZ GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER STOP I CAN'T

nina is the biggest kanej shiper no one can tell me i'm wrong

unrelated but if jesper had gone to the Little Palace and had studied there with nina they 100% would've had a crush on Zoya and bonded over it

like you can't tell me those two bisexual disaster wouldn't be absolutely in love with Zoya

jesper has adhd part ??:

Jesper scrubbed the back of his neck, touched his hands to his gunds, returned to his neck. He always seemed to be in motions

hyperactivity right there

and restlessness

"Do you know the best way to find Grisha who don't want to be found?" (...)

"Seems to be if they don't want to be found, you should just let them be" (jesper says this)

this conversation must be so stressful to him omg

LMAO JESPER CUT MATTHIAS HAIR THIS IS SO FUNNY

AND HE SHAVED HIM

ok you all know i love all of them but they can be sooo stupid

like wylan wrote no names on the drawing and he's excuse is that he doesn't know fjerdan?

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE he literally said he learned school fjerdan which means he should know how to write it too (we know why he can't but the tohers don't)

and even then like the excuse doesn't make any sense. why would having the original name be usefull if no one can fucking read it????

the worst part tho? NO ONE QUESTIONED HIM

THEY WERE LIKE "yup makes sense" AND WENT ON WITH THEIR DAY

i wondered how they didn't figure wylan's secret sooner but now i now

it's because theya re idiots

"I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me"

wylan baby let's not make the gigant mad

Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."

Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll just hire Matthias ghost to kick your ghost's ass."

"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primply, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

i had to put this here i don't want to get murdered by the fandom

jesper, inej and nina have the BEST friendship

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JES AND INEJ TOGETHER ON NETFLIX

"I know some people don't understand, but Kaz told me ... he said it was my choice, that he wouldn't be the one to mark me again."

i love this because it happen when they had just met

he did it because he understands her trauma and he respects her not because he loves her (i doubt he did at the time)

Kaz had been impressed with the sketches. (...)

"Just learn to take a compliment. Kaz doesn't hand them out often."

I'M SO PROUD OF WYLAN

and yess kaz only compliments wylan (and inej but that's sarcastic so it doesn't count) because he's a proud dad

"And you don't belong here, either."

"I beg your pardon, merchiling?"

"We don't need a sharpshooter for Kaz's plan, so what's your job - other than stalking around making everyone angsty?"

He shrugged. "Kaz trusts me."

Wylan snorted and picked up his pen. "Sure about that?"

DAMN WYLAN DESTROYED HIM

also

"If you aren't born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances."

"I wasn't-" Wylan left off and set down his pen. (...)

aww cute neurodivergent boyfriends bonding

Wylan had turned back to his work, his disappointment obvious. For some reason, Jesper felt disappointed, too.

ajgflasjgfjagslfiuusgflgdfsgdflasdgfsd

wesper

aww jes checks on inej every morning and every night i love him

"Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."

Nina blushed deeply. "I was teasing, Inej"

LJFGALKGFALGA another cute friendship right there

(and i can see why people ship them romantically)

STOP INEJ AND JES ARE BONDING SO MUCH (page 127 so i can go back and read it lmao)

Van Eck writes to Wylan every week, and Wylan doesn't even open the letters

"They just said the same thing again and again: If you're reading this, the you know how much I wish to have you home. Or I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."

should i kill him? anyone want to join me?

Inej bumped her shoulder against his."Then at least we're both the same kind of stupid." (...)

"You're too good for him, you know?"

"I know. So are you"

jes and her bonding over their stupid crush on a white boy

Because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.

jfsfdajdhmgkfutdjrgsg ok i can't blame them for having a crush on him anymore

this chapter is full of kanej i love it

"What do you want, then"

You, Inej. You forever.

jksdgfoagsdfgsdgfklasgdflaghsldfgksdgfkahgsdfghjlkf

kaz's backstory makes me sad

"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. (...)

"I´m gonna pay someone to burn my kruge for me."

Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what big players do."

"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone ...". Their voices trailed off as they tomped ahead, and Matthias and the others followed.

JES AND KAZ HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS

i can't believe we get to see nina and matthias meet and their whole backstory in less than a month omg

"It's not natural for women to fight."

"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand."

QUEEN

YOU TELL HIM

oh no the dead grisha

this part breaks my heart every time

"Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?"

.....i'm just gonna leave this quote right here

anyways acab

stop nina tried to kill the survivor so they wouldn't suffer but she couldn't do it

and jesper did it for her without hesitation i wanna cry

and inej didn't want to do it either i want to hug them

"Because our crime is existing. Our crime is what we are"

..........

i'm gonna leave this here again

do with it what you will

"Don't mock what you don't understand."

"My mockery offends you? My people would welcome you laughter in place of this barbarity"

i- this conversation is so important

AAAAA JES AND WY ARE A GREAT TEAM I LOVE THEM

WYLAN TROWS BOMBS TOGIVE JESPER TIME TO GET READY TO SHOOT

INEJ AND KAZ ARE A GREAT TEAM TOO

THEY LITERALLY DID THE SCENE LIKE IN THE AVENGERS (but without the shield WHICH MAKES IT BETTER)

Jesper shouldered his rifle. "Wylan earned his keep."

Wylan gave a little jump at the sound of his name. "I did?"

YES BABY YOU DID GREAT

kaz getting self-conscious for his hair is pure comedy

but nina how can you say that have you see his hair on the show???? it's perfect

"Remeber our friend Mark?"

HELP I CAN'T

"Any other impossible feats you'd like us to accomplish?"

The bearest smile flikered over Kaz's lips. "I'll make you a list."

once again jesper and kaz being besties

unrelated but nikolai and jesper would love each other

the amount of sass they have between them it's unparalleled

"Mmm," Inej murmured, taking a sip from her mug. "Maybe you're just not enough."

DAMN

ma'am marry me please

kaz fainted damn poor boy

unrelated unce again but this is so much betetr than shadow and bone

like you can tell leigh improved so much

her characters are better and their arcs are better developed

the writing itself it's better

or maybe i'm just biased because i love soc so much but i think she definetly improved

INEJ IS TRYING TO GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN WHEN SHE'S TRAPPED AND LOCKED ON THE WAGON

I JUST - THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH

Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame.

Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. "The trick is not getting knocked down," he'd told her with a laugh. "No, Kaz," she's said, "the trick is in getting back up"

inej is smart af

Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn't know why. Part of him wanted to ask, though he knew that was the stupid part, the hopeful farmboy who picked the worst possible person to care about, who searched for signs in things that he knew deep down meant nothing - when kaz chose him for a job, when Kaz played along with one of his jokes. He could have kicked himself. He's finally seen the infamous Kaz Brekker without a stich of clothing, and he'd been too worried about ending up on a pike to pay proper attention.

ok i got a couple of things to say about this part

first of all it makes me so sad that jes cares so much for someone who dosn't deserve him. because no hate to kaz but they would never work as a couple and kaz already treats him like shit most of the time

i think this part shows who a lot about who jesper really is. a boy that grew up having to hide parts of himself, who thinks he's worth nothing but it's smart and capable, who's loyal and brave and caring but doesn't even know it himself. he's someone who feels he doesn't deserve good things and thinks he's not good enough, and that's why he unds up in all the wrong places with the wrong people. he left uni bc he fell in with the gangs, because he didn't think he was smart enough or even prepared to be in studying in the university. jesper is constantly hiding behind a mask or running from things because he's scared of not being enough

an kaz is everything jes in a way wishes he could be. kaz is secure in himself (at least on the outside), he's stable, he's smart, he's "unshakeable". and most of all, he doesn't care about others (we know that's not true but that's how he presents himself)

and that's the thing that causes jesper all his problems. because he's insecure because he thinks he's not good enough for the poeple or things he cares about. and he's always trying to do what's best for his loved ones: he went to the ice court to pay his debt for his father, he follows kaz everywhere beacause he cares about him, he offered to read to wylan (knowing it wouldn't be easy for him to be still that long).

and yeah it often doesn't work out becuase he's messy and he has problems but he tries. and he hates that. he hates that he cares so much about people because at the end of the day, that's what makes him feel like he's not good enough

one more thing and i'm done i promise

unpopular opinion but i love that leigh made jesper have a crush on kaz. 1 beacuse it's refreshing to see someone not get otgether with his first crush. and 2 because i love that it shows that we sometimes get attached to people that are not good for us, but that we can learn to move on. jesper ended with wylan who respects him and values him, unlike kaz

ok i'm sorry that was probably all bs

oo one more thing, jesper definetly has rsd (rejection sensitive disphoria), which is something most poeple with adhd have

"My father used to take me everywhere with him"

this is so sad. bc they probably had a good relationship when he was little. and then they figured he coudln't read and now his father treats him like shit

it's even worse than if he haf been horrible from the beginning because wylan knows he can be a good father. and so he thinks it's his fault and he deserves to be treated like that. i hate van eck

"You're cuter when you're smart"

(...)

"Definitely cuter when you're smart"

wesper yesssss

i love them so much

ok but why do people think jesper is stupid. like the boy just made a bunch of criminals pass out by mixing some chemicals

and he was going to the university at like 15

AAAAND NOW THEY KNOW HE'S A FABRIKATOR

amazing plot twist

also:

Wylan coughed. Flirting with him might actually be more fun that annoying him, but it was a close call.

oooo come on jesper we all know you just love getitng him to blush

and you love him

who said that? definitely not me, nope

awwww jesper misses being around animals that's cute

imagine him coming home to wylan one day with a puppy because he just couldn't resist

cute

Better terrible truths than kind lies

just leaving here more of inej's wisdom

ok this may be a reach but jesper has adhd part ???

Yellow Protocol? Red Protocol? He couldn't remember which was which. (...)

"The alarm was Yellow Protocol, a sector disturbance."

Jesper pushed at his temples. "I don't remember what that means"

a bad working memory? sounds familiar

kaz loves puzzles

it's canon

"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."

this part where wylan and jesper see the banner made with grisha's kefta kills me every time

I would have worn purple, Jesper thought, if I'd joined the Second Army. (...) He'd beenwilling, even eager to risk capture and execution as a thief and hired gun. Why was it worse to think about being hunted as a Grisha?

this makes me want to cry so much

another thing super sad: the fact that since his father is Kaelish and had some supersititons towards grisha, jesper grew up wondering if his own father was scared of him. he had to hide his powers and he was almost taught to be afraid of them

"Is it safe to leave them, you know-"

"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."

"We could wake them up"

WYLAN

damn the boy needs therapy

it's amazing how nothing went like they planned

not a single thing

PEOPLE GET READY

ARE YOU READY?

NEITHER AM I BUT WHO CARES

"What do you like?"

"Music. Numbers. Equations. They are not like words. They...they don't get mixed up."

ok dude the clues are right there he's basically saying it

"If only you could talk to girls in equations."

There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"

Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls." It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.

wylan really said a straight man?? couldn't be me

this is the definition of bi panic "jesper restrained a grin" bitch we saw that

btw i love the slow burn

like they hint something here but they don't actually start liking each other until much later and they don't get together until almost the end of ck

i also love that the fact that they both like guys is like out in the open now. bc i'm not a fan of when queer characters have a crush and there's the whole thing of "are they queer too or not?"

like they both know htey are queer. but they don't get together right away bc they have to start liking each other before. they don't get together bc they are the only queer mlm characters

matthias fake betrayal killed me

i tought it was real

I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept fom this oath.

this is just-

also foreshadowing?

YAYY KUWEI HI

There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.

She's laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.

if i ever have a s/o and they don't tell me this at least once i don't want it

He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himslef together into some smeblance of a man for her

THIS

THIS IS LOVE RIGHT THERE

they are the only straight couple that matters

everyone else go home

Wylan had scratches all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming. Inej grabbed his hands and sqeezed.

so cute omg

"You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan's school pals along the way"

KAZ

i mean it's true but you didn't have to say it

KAZ IS SMILING OMG

EVERYONE FREAK OUT WITH ME

HE'S "grinning like and idiot" STOP I LOVE HIM

"We are all someone's mosnter, Nina"

"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all"

this part breaks my heart and i love it

"Stay," she oanted. Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stay till the end"

"And after," he said. "And always."

i just- helnik is perfect

AWWW JESPER MISSES WYLAN

my daily dosis of wesper :)

ok but in like 2 pages jesper tought of wylan like 10 times bc he's sad wy isn't with him

Jesper scanned the empty deck. He's assumed Wylan would come up to see them off. (...)

Jesper knew he was being selfish and stupid, but some petty part of him wondered if Wylan had deliberately kept away from him on the journey back. Maybe now that the job was complete and he was on his way to his share of the haul, Wylan was done slumming with criminals.

*charles boyle's insinuating voice* and why do you care so much???

btw YOU ARE WRONG. HE'S LITERALLY GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SPEAK

this scene where we find out the truth about wylan hurts so much but it's one of my favourites idk why

I LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS AS MAD AS I AM ABOUT THE LETTERS NOW

"Your're a fool," Jesper snarled. "He smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."

YES TELL HIM

the fact that wylan just heard him say that omg

"Deserved" amended Van Eck. He blew the whislte twice.

SOMEONE BETTER GRAB ME BEFORE I KILL HIM MYSLEF

THAT IDIOT

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

I'M GONNA CRY CAN SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME

Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.

YES EXACLTY WHAT I MEANT

JUST KILL HIM RIGHT NOW

"I'm not big on bludding, am I Inej?"

"Not as a rule"

Van Eck's lip curled. "And why is that?"

"Because he'd rather cheat," said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.

THIS WAS PERFECT

THE BEST WAY TO REVEAL THAT

(...), and Jesper flinched

baby he recognized wylan's voice

The Shu boy held out a hand. "Pay up, Kaz"

BITCH THIS IS AMAZING

THIS BOY MADE A BET WITH A CRIMINAL THAT HIS OWN FATHER WAS GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM

AND HE WON THE BET

A nearly perfect replica of Kuwei Yul-Bo stood before them, but he had Wylan's voice, his mannerisms, and - though Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes - Wylan's surprising courage, too.

i love it when they compliment him

my boy deserves all the compliments ever

AND KAZ IS PROUD OF HIS SON WE ALL KNOW THIS

Wylan cuold draw a perfectt elevation. He's made a drill that could cut throu Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn't read

this is taking me to some real places

i may cry you've been warned

WYLAN DIDN'T CARE THAT HE MAY BE STUCKED LOOKING LIKE KUWEI

this is making me cry

"A fool would have been waiting to be smashed to bits on that ship. And as for "traitor", you've called me worse in the last few minutes alone."

EXACTLY

YOU TELL HIM WYLAN

Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.

BABY

i would've done the same tho she's pretty

amita is sooo pretty i'm gonna die when the show comes out

Jesper was staring at Wylan, his eyes roving over the black hair, the golden eyes. "Why?" he said at last. "Why would you do this?"

nothing to say here except: wesper

You... how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I tought it was Kuwei?"

"Every time."

i want to cry so bad

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily. "Maybe I liked your stupid face."

a very staright and platonic thing to say of course

i know jes we all liked his stupid face

"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan. "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone."

YES WYLAN DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND

And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wyllan because he wanted to punish him a little

even kaz know they like each other come on

Jesper sat with elbows on knees, head in hands. Wylan deside him wearing th face of a stranger.

wylan give him a hug fro me please

he needs it

"Scheming face," murmured Jesper.

"Definitely," agreed Wylan.

i miss inej already

And I'm going to get my girl. Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he´d promised her so long ago.

i'm ugly crying and so what?

and now we're done....

i want to read this book again omg this is unhealthy

#shadow and bone #s&b #six of crows #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #kaz brekker #grishaverse #inej gahfa #matthias helvar #nina zenik #freddy carter #kit young #amita suman #soc #helnik #kanej #wesper

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cherrynojutsu · 3 years

Text

Title: Like Silver

Summary: A companion series for Like Gold.

Sakura misses him so much. She misses the faint smell of woodsmoke and sage, and mismatched eyes captivating in their intensity and unfathomable depths. The Rinnegan is beautiful, soft lavender ringed by hypnotizing layers of circle and tomoe, but flecks of silver dance in his right, tiny asterisms bewitching in nature, if one gets close enough; she’d first noticed it when they were children at the Academy. She knows they're Itachi's now, a slightly different scattering of luminaries aglow in the deep pitch of obsidian, but they're still as enthralling to her as they had been back then. She dreams of that silver sometimes, recalls it any time she sees something similar in color or reflet.

Blank period, canon-compliant, Sakura-centric, some expanded plot points from Like Gold, fluff and pining, eventually becomes a smut fest with feelings.

Disclaimer: I did not write Naruto. This is a fan-made piece solely created for entertainment purposes.

Rating: M (eventual nsfw-ness)

AO3 Link - FF.net Link - includes beginning/ending author's notes

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Chapter 1/?: An Introduction to Electrocardiography

Sakura gazes out the window of her office, a pile of paperwork set aside for a poetic sort of procrastination, trying to indulge for once in a Konoha spring, though she's finding it arduous.

As pretty as it is this time of year, all she can manage to feel is wistful.

Hanami has come and gone already for the most part, though there are a few stubborn cherry blossom trees lingering at the tail end of their blooming. She can see one here from her window, up on the hillside that slopes towards Hokage Rock, clinging to the uneven land. She’s sure its roots have to be all twisted, a labyrinth of gnarled wood clinging to any scrap of land it can wind itself around as its branches and petals try against all odds to reach upwards into the open sky that she can’t take her eyes off of.

There’s a metaphor in there somewhere, but it’s one she doesn’t care to unpack.

This year was her twentieth viewing of her namesake, though Sakura obviously doesn't remember the first few. Her parents take great pride in the retelling of tales from those first few years of her life, the ones she was too little to remember. The highlights come up annually on her birthday without fail, how she grasped at the petals like they were something precious, clutched in her sticky little hands the entire day.

A framed photograph is perched on one of the built-in shelves of her parents' living room, of her and her father on her first birthday. He was holding her up on unsteady legs, ridiculously proud and pointing towards the camera where her mother had been trying to get her to look. Her short pink hair was flying absolutely everywhere, matching the fluttering petals and in-bloom cherry blossom tree in the background, chubby hands grasping upwards. Strawberry cake and frosting were smeared all over her cheeks. They’d had a picnic for her, at the park nearest to their house.

“We came home and cleaned you up, and then your father helped you water your tree for the first time, in the little pink watering pail you unwrapped earlier. You were so cute.” That’s what her mom says every year. Sakura has the sentence memorized at this point, could recite it on cue, if she needed to.

Her parents had planted a cherry blossom sapling in their backyard a few days after they brought her home from the hospital as a newborn, so the tree is around the same age she is. She used to spend time under it often, as a kid, and some of her earliest memories involve sprawling beneath it to study the heavens while her mother gardened. She would also sneak berries from the patch when her back was turned. Sometimes her dad would join in her pilferage, and they would sit beneath the tree like a couple of bandits with stained lips, though those first few years she can remember he barely fit underneath it, as tall as he is. Many a tickle fight had been had, shaded by those branches. She would read books there on nice afternoons, when she was a little older.

The tree is fully grown now, also on the final cusp of its blooming for the year, floriferous wood expanded outwards to drape her childhood stomping grounds in a sea of soft pink. They have a picnic under it every year, in her family’s backyard, when they celebrate her birthday together. Her actual birthday has come and gone, but her birthday dinner is two days from now. Her parents swung by her apartment on Sunday afternoon for a bit with outlandishly large cupcakes, but her mom had mentioned they’d do dinner and a gift on their usual night, Thursday, since it works so well with their schedules every other week.

“We have to have your picnic, under your tree, like always. It’s a tradition! My beautiful girl. I can’t believe you’re twenty. It seems like just yesterday you were only yay high,” her dad had told her, gesturing below his knees before hugging her too tightly, ruffling the hair she'd inherited from him before they left. The cupcakes were strawberry with cream cheese frosting, one of her favorite treats. They’d left her with four extra to enjoy between then and Thursday, one for each day if she wanted it, turning her birthday into more of a week-long affair than a one-day celebration.

She and Ino had demolished two of them while watching some of the terrible movies they love to hate together, later that evening. It had been a smorgasbord of strawberries, really, because they'd washed them down with strawberry daiquiris, sugary sweetness topped with ridiculous amounts of whipped cream. They'd sat on her balcony, after, sipping a little tipsily and just looking.

"You should try to enjoy your namesake more this year, Forehead. You're so busy that I'm not sure you've realized, but you've really grown into it," Ino had said, beckoning vaguely towards a Konoha beginning to bloom, renewed with a warm breeze, spring ushered in by a fluttering of pink petals. Ino likes to give compliments in roundabout ways, she’s learned over the course of their friendship; crass as the blonde can be, she does have her moments. Her words meant a lot to Sakura, so she’s trying to take them to heart, to stop and smell the cherry blossoms, so to speak. It won’t be long before Konoha crescendos into the sweltering heat of the summer.

She loves her parents and her friends. She really does.

But birthdays are weird, Sakura thinks.

Last year, Sasuke had sent her a letter on her birthday. She’s reread it so many times that she has it more than memorized; it’s stitched into the muscle tissue of her heart at this point, or maybe scarred into the lining of her aortic valve, sempiternal markings adorning the tunnels that sustain her, causing her breath to catch every time.

Sakura,

Hanami has come to the wilderness in the Land of Honey. Bees are awakening and foraging for the first pollen of the season, with which to begin again. Cherry blossom petals are everywhere, lining the pathways and floating on the water.

Happy birthday.

-Sasuke

It had been short, simple, and even a little poetic; she had cherished it, as she does all of his other letters. She’d cherished the pressed flower with it just as much; a cherry blossom, neatly flattened with a precision that screamed Sasuke, near exactly the same shade of pink as her hair.

Sakura had started crying when she unfolded the paper to reveal it sitting atop his words. His hawk had waited patiently at her office window for a response to be written and tied to its leg, perched atop the windowsill and watching the goings-on of the village below, absolutely no concept in its predator brain of how much she delights in seeing it fly, a graceful tether to the boy - now man - she has been in love with for ages.

Cherry blossom petals are everywhere. Is there a hidden meaning there, or is she making a mountain out of a molehill?

She’s tried not to read too much into the letters. She's not sure if he sends any to Naruto or not; she's too afraid to ask, because she'll either get a heart-pounding hope if he doesn't get them, or a soul-crushing disappointment if he does. She can't imagine him sending a yellow flower to Naruto, but he may very well have sent him a different gift for his birthday.

Maybe he just thought she would like a flower, which she did - it’s pressed for safekeeping, along with all of his other correspondence to her, sporadically and chronologically throughout a book she keeps on her nightstand, An Introduction to Electrocardiography. It is her take on an album of small things she holds close to her own heart, things she wishes she could read in his. Sakura didn’t want to buy an actual album for such a thing; that felt too formal, for something as ambiguous as her ties to Sasuke, overflowing on her end as they may be. So she’d settled on a book about deciphering the heart’s tells based on science only, electrical impulses and repolarization, the sizes and positions of the chambers, how to diagnose conditions utilizing one’s findings. It’s one she doesn’t need access to anymore, extremely familiar with EKGs after years of study. She’d wanted it to be something no-nonsense, all hard facts and data on how to read activity plotted over time.

Evidence-based. Are letters evidence, though? She’s not sure that would hold up as empirical proof in any of the scholarly journals she’s studied or submitted work to since beginning her research. She thinks wryly, though, based on what she has witnessed get published, that scientific verification doesn’t always matter if you know the right people.

She’s thought many times sifting through it that perhaps it is too optimistic, too hopeful of a book subject for such a thing. Sakura has agonized over it, frankly, wondering whether it was an inappropriate choice.

...But now that they’re in there, it might ache worse to move them somewhere else.

It’s the last day of March now, and she didn’t get a letter this month, which is unusual, because she’s gotten one near each month in the time that he’s been away. She’s paged through the book a few times over the past several days, rereading and admiring the preserved sakura blossom, frozen in suspended animation indefinitely on a page about precordial leads.

Sakura hadn’t really expected anything from him for her birthday, other than a monthly letter like he usually sends... but this year she didn’t even get that. She’s trying really hard to not be disappointed. She has so much to be thankful for, in the grand scheme of things...

...But the petals of the cherry blossom from last year have faded over time, she’d evaluated yesterday, sitting in her bedroom. It might be like her, always pressed in a book, fading whilst stuck indefinitely between the boundless teeth of academia. There is always more data to record, more evidence, with which one can prove or disprove their findings.

No letter this month, though. Nothing to record, no new evidence.

It might be time to move the letters somewhere else, she thinks pensively. Maybe a place where she’s not tempted to look at them all the time; their placement in the book, small scraps of paper that stick out in only a couple of places, makes it easy to go back and reread them. She’s pretty sure she has an empty shoebox in her closet that she could move them to, in a pile rather than catalogued between pages rife with information and a fragile sort of hope. Maybe she’ll do it tonight, put it up in the far right corner of the upper shelf, shoved towards the back so she can’t reach it without the stool, so she’s not tempted whenever the next bout of heartsickness slams into her like one of Tsunade-shishou’s fists used to. She needs to go by the library after work first, to return some things, but maybe when she gets home, she’ll do it. She could eat a cupcake, too; that might make it a little easier.

She dreams of that silver sometimes, recalls it any time she sees something similar in color or reflet. There’s an extremely unique necklace in an antique shop she visits with Ino and Sai from time to time, and occasionally on her own, over on the northeast side of town. It’s a salt-and-pepper diamond, dark grey with inclusions, dainty and set in what must be a hand-fabricated setting. It hangs from a silver chain, towards the back of a display case filled with other vintage and distinctive pieces, but it’s the only one she ever finds herself drawn to. It is so similar to his right eye, dark smoke near black, speckled with beguiling silver startling in its clarity. The bevel cut reveals new flecks dependent on the angle at which you view it.

Sakura studies it closely on each visit, because it is so hauntingly breathtaking and it reminds her of him.

Ino has said it’s not her color, and that she should stick to warm tones and gold, for which she is better suited; Sakura has not confessed to her why it catches her eye so much. Sai has agreed with his girlfriend on the coloring note, sensitive as he is to such things, but the way he studies her every time she tears herself away from it makes her suspect he knows exactly why it captivates her so. It’s been sitting there for years at this point; she has to mentally talk herself out of buying it on each visit. It’s beautiful, but she would spend far too much time gawking at it, and it might hurt more with extended study than the gentle tugging at her heart she experiences when she’s in that old building throughout tiny fragments of lackadaisical afternoons.

Sasuke has been gone for a long time. She hopes he's finding the peace he's been seeking, that he's seeing the world with new eyes just as he'd imagined. She thinks of him every day, sends out little orisons like petals in the breeze in the hopes that they’ll find him, wherever he is.

I wonder where he is now.

Try as she does to enjoy the breath of spring Konoha is right now, and her namesake as Ino said, all she can seem to do is shift her vision to the sky, hoping against hope for a glimpse of a familiar bird-of-prey that will stay an ample amount of time for her to craft a response, before it abvolates away for another month.

Sakura smiles, then, close to laughing at the absurdity of it all, because she is so predictable. She loves this village despite its many flaws and challenges, despite the things about it she and Naruto and Kakashi-sensei and Ino and even Tsunade-shishou, off in the Land of Wind, are trying to change, but even after so many years, she’s still pining for something beyond it, something in the wilds of the sky just beyond her reach.

There’s always next year, she supposes, pupils drawn again towards the outstretched branches of the cherry blossom tree on the hill, before trailing her eyes along further. She can grow a little more to try to reach him. When she was little, she had wanted to grow tall so she could try to touch a star, like the branches of the tree in her backyard did when she and her father laid beneath them on balmy summer nights. He would tell her ridiculous stories about all of the constellations, things she knew had to be untrue, even at the ripe age of five. Precocious, he’d always called her, but in the loving, joking manner he had.

Her gaze follows the horizon, leisurely taking in the rest of her home. It really is a lovely day, despite her yearning. Spring is here again, and today's is a gentle sunset, one last little bit of sunlight with which to conclude March. The temperature is already spiking, unusually warm for early spring, but summers in the Land of Fire are always hot. She really should finish her paperwork, but it’s hard to find the motivation just yet.

Something possesses her, then, to turn her neck more, take in more of the skyline's continuation. She wants to see all of it.

And then Sakura’s eyes fall on an achingly familiar figure cloaked all in black, perched only a roof away and observing her, and she thinks she must have nodded off, because she has to be dreaming.

She subtly pinches herself in the millisecond of time that follows, but she is very much awake.

The words are blooming out of her throat before she can even process what’s happening, exultation sinking into her every vein. “Sasuke-kun!” She moves to crank her window open the rest of the way, and he hops from the neighboring roof down into her office, all nimble legerity that she still thinks has to be a mere mirage conjured from her memories. When he straightens to his full height, she muses that he has to have grown taller. The mere sound of his footsteps on the tile flooring, as familiar a refrain to her as if he’d just walked out of the village yesterday, are a treasure beyond price.

“Sakura.” His voice is a rich timbre that she has desperately felt the absence of; hearing him say her name almost makes her want to cry. She smiles wider instead, to the extent that it almost hurts, and her gaze latches hungrily onto the very eye she was just daydreaming about. A storm of soot and silver, beveled into countless fragments like some kind of dark, rustic diamond, and so staggeringly beautiful that she’s pretty sure she’s blushing just from beholding it. Gods, it's not fair for someone to be so handsome.

“When did you get back?” She asks, utterly overcome with joy. This is better than a letter or any birthday gift she could have received, brighter than any star she’s beheld.

“Just now.” He’s smiling, a small and subtle upturn of lips that is so characteristic of him. Then his words hit her, and her face must be getting redder.

Just now? As in…

“I’m sorry I missed your birthday,” he adds before she can simmer on that for too long, and she has to blink in bewilderment, because that is the absolute last thing she expected him to say. Sakura wonders how much heat can creep into one’s face before they spontaneously combust.

Then she realizes she should probably respond, as humans tend to do in conversations. “Oh! Um… it’s okay.” She folds her hands in front of her shyly, grinning like an idiot. “Thank you for remembering.”

There is a lengthy moment in which she just soaks him in, hoping he can read in her eyes how much she’s missed him. He is still so beautiful, prized eyes and aristocratic angles that have solidified a bit more into the face of a man in the time that’s passed. His hair is different now, covering his Rinnegan eye. His cloak is a little more threadbare, too. He’s tall.

His expression, normally unreadable, is calm. Content, even.

There’s a question nagging at her that she knows she needs to ask. She tries not to bite her lip as she asks it, braces herself for the possibility of not liking the answer.

“Are you… just back for a little while?”

Did you find what you were searching for?

He gazes at her for so long that she thinks he may be glimpsing her soul, peeking into her ventricles to see his own words immortalized there, seared into her core to be felt each time her blood pumps.

“...For more than a while.” And she smiles the biggest she ever has. Oh, this is so much better than a letter or a gift.

“Well, welcome back, Sasuke-kun. It’s… very good to see you again.” It feels as if a piece of her heart has been returned to her, something of the divine stitched back into her chest and full to bursting in omneity.

There is a pause, and then he’s reaching his hand out towards hers, initiating physical contact with a touch that is feather light, so gentle she thinks she is going to start sobbing.

She can’t help it; she pulls him into a hug, tinged with elation. She hopes he doesn’t mind too much; he stiffens for a brief moment, but then settles, wrapping his arm around her and settling his head atop of hers, and she could die happy right there, embracing him with feelings momentarily set free from where they’ve been whelved into her chest.

He smells faintly like sage and smoked cedar, just as she remembered. She can hear his heart thumping, a strong cadence, and it grounds her. Oh, she’s missed him.

“...I’m home, Sakura.” Soft words float above her head, and she can feel the vibration of them through his chest, right by her ear.

Oh, she’s crying.

Sasuke lets her embrace him for a long time, for which she is so grateful. She knows he’s not one for physical contact; it’s a privilege to be allowed into his space even for a single second, let alone for an extended period.

She draws back eventually, glancing up at him again through the tears still collecting in her eyes. Her face blazes when he reaches to wipe them away tenderly with a calloused hand, careful and with a lenity that she’s always known was there, hidden under the surface.

She could just stare at him for hours, she thinks as he lowers his hand. He’s still looking down at her with one of the softest expressions she has ever seen him wear. She really hopes she’s not dreaming.

It’s tremendously hard to get it together, but she tries, because she doesn’t want to spend the entire time crying, not when he's finally back. There are so many questions she’d like to ask him that she’s finding it a challenge to pick one with which to lead.

He surprises her by speaking first, quietly. “I… had something made for you.”

It takes a moment for the words to compute.

Made for me?

Her processing speed must be exceptionally slow, stuck in the utter mush her insides have become, because he adds, “...For your birthday.”

Sakura blinks, and furrows her brows in confusion. “Made… for me?”

He nods. “...I’m sorry it’s late.” The way he speaks it is cryptic, like the apology weighs more than one needed for a tardy gift. Doesn’t he know she doesn’t care? He could have showed up in July with something for her, and it still would have made her knees weak and her heart thump furiously in her chest.

Made for me? She’s still stuck on that sentiment as he breaks eye contact and turns to rummage through his satchel, beneath his cloak.

Sasuke pulls out a medium-sized flat box, a simple white, and she doesn’t know what she expected, but it wasn’t that. Something that comes in a box is a lot more formal than a pressed cherry blossom, something more… permanent.

She reaches out to take it on autopilot, and is stupidly distracted by the way his hand brushes against hers, a small spark that makes something in her quake. She wonders if he felt it, too.

Sakura clutches the box with both hands like her life depends on it, murmuring softly, “Thank you, Sasuke-kun.” She’ll wait until later to open it, after he’s left; whatever it is, she doesn’t want to embarrass him, and she also isn’t sure she can tear her eyes away from him just yet, anyways.

Is it just the lighting in her office, or are his ears a little flushed? She didn’t notice that before; maybe he’s had a drawn-out journey back. She wonders how much ground he covered today, if he’s still winded. He might need to rest.

But then he mumbles, voice husky with what she assumes is disuse, “...You should open it.”

His words echo in her head again. I… had something made for you.

“Okay,” she answers in a hushed voice, so she doesn’t scare him away, shifting slightly to set the box on her desk carefully. Suddenly she is very nervous, anticipation settling into her gut.

When she lifts the lid, she swears her heart ceases beating.

The most exquisitely intricate uchiwa fan she has ever laid eyes upon is placed in the box before her.

It’s carved into a likeness of a cherry blossom tree, branches twisting lissomely into bamboo framework, impossibly fine. A different set of words is reverberating in her head now.

You should try to enjoy your namesake more this year, Forehead. You're so busy that I'm not sure you've realized, but you've really grown into it.

Made for me?

“O-oh.” Sakura is not sure what she expected, but it wasn’t this. She fights back the tears, biting her lip and wide eyes soaking it all in, enjoying her namesake in a way that is entirely unprecedented in its sheer severity. The amount of time it would have taken for someone to sculpt and bind and sew is unimaginable; every detail is finely wrought, flawless down to the silk and stitching, lacquered and carved pale wood shifting effortlessly into eighty slivers of bamboo, intricately webbing silk together with the lithe grace of gossamer. It’s a cherry blossom tree, petals and all, pearlescent thread shifting slightly, gorgeously in the light, unimaginable detail. She has stitched people back together countless times over the course of years, but even her expert dexterity would look like a child’s first embroidery stitching in comparison. The stamen within the petals are nearly more detailed and finely milled than an actual, real life cherry blossom, plexure sutured in a fashion so baronial that it’s impossible to believe human hands were even responsible for it.

The silk. Oh, the silk. The color shift bears a striking resemblance to the Uchiha insignia. This is not a gift one gives to a teammate.

Oh, she's crying.

This has to be a dream, some kind of paracosm her heart thought up to give her brain the high of a lifetime. Hope burgeons and unfolds in her chest cavity, bleeding into her extremities like the pale pink shifting into red before her eyes. She’s never, ever going to forget this, not even if she lives to be one hundred years old.

Made for me?

She picks it up with disbelieving hands, grasping it more carefully than she’s ever held anything in her entire life, as if she’s going to wake up at any moment and it will dissolve into synapse, lost in the hazy juncture of morning the way one tends to lose awareness of the contents of a dream upon coming to lucidity. To her absolute bewilderment, it stays solid in her hands, a finery made even more unbelievable by touch. The grooves of the carving are as gentle as his hand had been on hers earlier. She thinks it would have had to be commissioned at least a few months in advance, outlandishly expensive. She’s never seen silk like this. She doesn't know; she's smart, but she's no artisan. Maybe she should ask Sai. She's crying.

She adores it.

Tears won’t stop welling in her eyes; she thinks they may be escaping from a tender spot inside her chest that’s been reserved for him since she was a child, a leak in a metaphorical dam. She takes a steadying breath, blinks, almost has them conquered. Get a grip, Sakura.

Then Sasuke’s hand is on hers, gently turning the handle over.

Her name is carved into the pale wood, on the back in formal calligraphy, Sakura daintier and more perfect than she could ever write it, as if it had just been uncovered in one of the inner layers rather than whittled there manually. Sasuke presses her fingers to it before loosening his grip, and in that second it feels as though his lost hand is in the wood, caressing her from split atoms in the grooves from the other side.

The tears spill over her cheeks - she admits defeat - intricacy of the entire thing blurring out of focus but still somehow burned into her retinas for all eternity.

Made for me, made for me, made for me-

Her voice finds her after a few more tears fall. “It’s beautiful.” Her voice is barely above a whisper, overwhelmed with complete and utter awe, trying desperately to choke down a sob. “Thank you, Sasuke-kun. I… I’ll treasure it. Always.” She cradles the fan closer to her chest, her heart - maybe An Introduction to Electrocardiography wasn’t a poorly-chosen book, after all; there is much to be read from something this precious - and regards him with watery eyes. She wishes she wasn’t crying; the distortion of the tears is making it hard to see the silver she’s loved and missed so much.

His hand lifts to her face after a moment, and to her surprise, he wipes away her tears again. She barely catches the something-more in his eyes, then, through the waterworks, precious metal flashing and pouring into the words scarred into her ventricles to live there forever, fortified in silver, but he is looking at her so -

“...Always,” he agrees, voice a little breathless, sparking scintilla near hypnotizing her in their luster, and he seems so happy -

Then he leans down to press his lips gently to hers, and this is better than her heart stopping, like when she opened the box. This time, her heart soars, and she touches a star she’s been dreaming of for eons.

#naruto #sasusaku #ssfanfiction #cherry writes #like silver #fanfiction #i'm really out here with just hundreds of pages of fanfiction in my google doc drafts huh

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aestheticallyholland · 3 years

Text

NEVER NOT | AFTER YEARS . . .

❃ PAIRING tom holland x fem!reader

❃ DISCLAIMER i do not own the artists (and the reader) that are going to portray the characters, but i do own some of the their names. the plot of the story is inspired to the book and movie 'to all the boys i've loved before' but with changes. the gifs and photos used in this series are edited by me but i get credits to the originals. also, this series is first posted in wattpad by me. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST IT SOMEWHERE ELSE !

❃ WORD COUNT 2.8k words

❃ AUTHOR'S NOTES you have reached the final chapter of my tom holland series, never not! for those who have reached this part, i would like to say thank you so much for taking your time to read this cliche story that i wrote originally on wattpad, and hopefully, you enjoyed and loved it. thank you also for the constant reblogs and likes for each chapter in this series. i truly appreciate every reblog and like you gave. i also hope that you are satisfied with the ending of this series. with lots of love, lei <3

NEVER NOT MASTERPOST | LEI'S LIBRARY

"All love stories are tales of beginnings. When we talk about falling in love, we go to the beginning, to pinpoint the moment of freefall." - Meghan O'Rourke

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"ONE MORE POSE FOR ME!"

Flash.

"And another one!"

Flash.

"Alright!" Y/N exclaimed and removed her Canon 90D DSLR camera from her right eye. "That's it for today, guys! Great job everyone!" shouted once more and looked at the photos that she took from the monitor of the computer.

She was doing a photoshoot for one of the famous magazine companies, The Hollywood Reporter. She was one of the photographers for the magazine company for almost a year already. She surely was so happy to receive a call way back a year ago before that she was hired. And, she surely was so happy to pursue what she dreamed of.

"Great shots, Y/N. Great as always." Someone said from behind her and Y/N could just smile at the compliment.

"Thank you, Millie." She said and looked at Camille. Camille became a fashion designer like how she always wanted to be. She worked alongside Y/N in several photoshoots just this year, coincidentally.

"Want to grab some coffee on the way home?" Camille asked as she prepared her purse and placed it on her shoulder.

"Sure," Y/N said and got the hard drive that was plugged into the computer since all of the photos were there. Not only was she a photographer but also one of the editors for the magazines. "But after that, I gotta go somewhere."

"Are you gonna go to that place again?" Camille asked and Y/N looked at her and nodded as an answer. They walked out together as they were the only people left there.

"I'll probably call Erika after you go. Just gonna remind her about the reunion that our family had planned for this weekend." Camille said while walking beside Y/N.

"But she'll probably be with Harrison right now," Y/N said.

"They're still together all these years? Never knew she was a relationship person honestly." Camille said.

"Me either. But, she's happy so I'm happy for her." Y/N said.

They entered the coffeehouse that was packed with busy people. The scent of coffee went to their noses as soon as they got in.

"I totally forgot that it's still Friday today," Camille said. "So many people."

They lined up in the long line since there was only one cashier available.

"By the way, have you seen the latest movie?" Camille asked Y/N and she gave a confused look.

"Which one?" Y/N asked back.

"I think it was the— erm— The latest Spiderman movie. I don't know the full title but I heard they just released a new one this month." Camille said. "Tom is in it right?"

Tom.

That name that Y/N will never forget.

Y/N smiled under her breath before answering her. "Yeah, I guess."

After that, they just waited for the line to be shorter and shorter until they were the next one to order. After they ordered, they stood in the corner waiting for their coffee to be made.

"One cappuccino and latte for Y/N!"

"I'll get it," Camille said and walked fast to get their orders. She mouthed thank you to the lady and went to Y/N's side again. "Here's your cappuccino," Camille said and handed Y/N her drink as they made their way out of the coffeehouse.

"So, I'll see you on Monday at work?" Camille asked.

"Always." That was what Y/N answered. "Take care!" She added before waving goodbye to Camille and went in the opposite direction as her with her drink in her hand.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Y/N parked her car on the side of the empty road. After how many months, almost a year, of driving lessons, she could finally drive for herself.

Before she got out, she got her drink and her other things first and removed her coat. She got out of the car with her things and shut the door and locked it.

The wind suddenly blew her hair and she smiled at this great feeling. As she walked towards the sand, she took off her shoes and placed them in the same spot that she would sit on. Luckily, no one was in the place other than herself.

The sun was almost setting and the waves were still moving in the ocean. She had come to this place almost every day or at least most of the time. The light of the sun reflected on the sun symbol on her bracelet that he gave her a few years back. She sighed at the thought of him.

She had lost contact with him just almost a year ago because of his busy schedule but Harrison would be the one to tell her how Tom was doing and all. Well, not really lost contact but they rarely contacted each other for the past few months due to their work.

Although those had happened, she never stopped going back to this place that Tom wanted her to always go. This was the place that kept her alive and stress-free.

Their relationship had its ups and downs.

Tom became one of the most famous celebrities in the world ever since he got the role of being Spiderman. After that, he had more upcoming movies for the past years later on.

Although there may have been rumors about him being in a relationship with one of his co-stars, Zendaya, because of their roles in Spider-Man, her trust for him remain. Although at some point, it hurt her but that just passed away.

Overall, she was happy for him and for what he has achieved. She was so proud of what he had become. It didn't stop her from visiting his family's house and spending time with them.

"I wish you were here right now." She whispered to herself as the wind could not stop making her hair fly.

"And I'm here." A voice said from a distance but loud enough for her to hear. Her eyes widen at this very familiar voice and her eyes began to water.

She slowly looked in the direction of the voice that she heard and there stood the person that she has been waiting for.

He gave her the same smile that she would never forget. He still looked the same as before but he was more muscular now. He looked better in person than on the big screen or in his interviews. His brown hair is now shorter but still had curls on.

"Tom?" She whispered and he could just easily read her lips calling his name. He opened his arms widely for her. She then ran up to his open arms and did not think twice about wrapping her arms around him. He spun her around as soon as he closed his arms around her.

Her tears fell from her eyes while hugging him. When Tom heard her sob, he placed a hand on her head and stroked her hair. "I'm home, love." He whispered to her.

She pulled away for a while and admired him. His face features, his hair. Everything about him. She suddenly pinched his cheeks with both of her hands that surprised Tom.

"Ow! What was that for?" He asked as he felt the slight pain from the pinch. His voice is deeper than before and his British accent is kind of mixed with an American accent.

"You are real," Y/N said that made Tom chuckle.

She was still as adorable as always. Tom thought

"Of course I am. You thought you're hallucinating?" Tom asked her and she nodded.

"It's been so long to finally see you personally," Y/N said and she slapped him on the chest. "You kept me waiting you know!"

"I'm sorry, love." Tom apologized and kissed her forehead. "Four years, huh?"

"And three months," Y/N added while looking at him and grinned.

"You have been counting," Tom said that made Y/N nod. "I missed you so much." He said and pulled her for a hug again. "God, I do miss you."

"I missed you too, Thomas." She replied and noticed the scrunchie that was on his wrist. The same scrunchie that she gave him before. "You kept it." She said and held to his wrist where the scrunchie was and smiled at him.

"Of course. It really reminded me of you." He answered.

They decided to sit down and talked about each other's new life. Tom was surprised about Y/N's career since he never thought she would be into photography like his brother, Harry.

"Your mom really influenced me to go to that," Y/N said. "That's why I'm so grateful for her."

"I had a photoshoot in that company actually," Tom said and that made her eyes widen. "Really?" She asked.

"Yeah, but that was like two thousand seventeen or something." He answered.

"Your American accent is really showing up," Y/N said and smiled at him.

"Well, most of my roles required this accent which I'm good at, surprisingly." He answered.

"How long have you been here already?" She asked him, curiously.

"Just today. I told my family first and Harrison that I was coming back for a week's vacation. And, I wanted to surprise you." He answered and placed his arms around her shoulders. She placed her head on his shoulder and gave a relieved sigh. Her happiness cannot be measured right now.

"You wanna go to the water?" Tom said and Y/N suddenly ran away from him and giggled.

"If you could catch me first!" Y/N said and ran which made Tom scoffed a laugh.

"I will!" Tom said and chased after her. After a few seconds of running, Tom was a few inches away from her and scooped her legs and carried her bridal style and he walked towards the water.

"No! Put me down! The water is gonna be so cold!" Y/N said but Tom ignored her and laughed. Then, Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck and forcefully pushed both of them down together to the water.

"Holy shit, the water is so cold," Y/N said as she raised her head up from the water as well as Tom. "Damn you, Holland!"

"You're gonna pay for that," Tom said and splashed her with water and Y/N did the same. Basically, the couple had a water fight. They kept laughing and splashing on the water to each other even as they stood up.

Tom then grabbed Y/N's arm and pulled her closer to him. They both wrapped their arms around each other and Y/N just gave a light laugh.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"Do you have a towel in your car?" Tom asked as they got out of the water, their bodies and clothes soaking wet as they stayed there a while ago to watch the sunset.

"Yep. It's on the back. I came prepared." Y/N said as she gave Tom the keys and walked towards her car. Tom could just laugh.

Tom got the towel and wrapped it around Y/N's body and continued to hug her from behind. They decided to stay on the beach a little longer until they dried up. After a few minutes, they then went inside the car with Tom as a driver although Y/N insisted that she would drive.

They went directly to Y/N's apartment that she rented ever since she got her work. Tom parked in the basement of the building. As soon as they got out, Tom locked the cars and gave Y/N back her keys. They walked together and got to an elevator going to her apartment.

"How's your dad and Aria?" Tom asked as Y/N shoved the key on the doorknob.

"They are doing great actually," Y/N answered. "Aria got a job in New Zealand in tourism. And, will you believe that my dad actually got married a year ago?" Y/N said happily and opened the door.

"Really? I never heard of that." Tom said.

"Because we made it a private wedding so it's only our relatives and Mom Trina's family too," Y/N explained to Tom. "Mom Trina is an amazing woman and I'm glad they got to meet each other."

"Your mom will be happy that your dad is happy," Tom said and Y/N could only smile.

She placed her things down the counter table. "This is my home." She said to Tom who was looking everywhere in the apartment. "It's not that bad." He said.

"Yep. In my room, I get to see the city and the sunset and sunrise too." While Y/N was talking. Tom just kept staring at her, admiring her. He couldn't explain how happy he felt when he finally saw her again. He walked closer to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. This startled Y/N a bit but she held his arms and leaned her back to his chest.

"How did I get so lucky to have you?" Tom whispered and moved her hair away and gave a peck on her neck.

"Destiny, I guess." She answered and turned around to face him. She saw him looked at her lips and decided to close the gap between them by pressing her lips to his. Tom responded to the kiss and pulled her closer to him. As soon as the kiss became heated, she jumped and wrapped her legs around Tom's waist and he was carrying her. He then walked towards her room and shut the room by kicking his foot at the door while kissing and carrying her.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The ray of light hit Y/N's eyes as soon as she woke up. She felt strong arms around her bare waist and she smiled. She yawned and stretched her legs before she tried to move Tom's arm around her. She could still hear his soft snores beside her. His curls are really showing off when his head was on the pillow. She tried to get up but was stopped when she felt a hand grabbing her wrist and pulling her back to the bed. Strong arms wrapped around her again but this time tighter.

"Tom!" She exclaimed.

"Don't leave me here," Tom mumbled while his eyes were still closed and snuggled his head to her neck which tickled a little.

"Alright, baby," Y/N said and snuggled back at him. "But I have to cook breakfast. It's like almost lunch already."

"That was a long long night." Tom teased and Y/N felt her cheeks heat up as she remembered what happened last night. She slapped Tom's arm playfully who just laughed at her. "Let's do it again," Tom whispered in her ear with a husky voice and attempted to kiss her again but Y/N covered his mouth with her hand.

"Nope, nope. Not happening." Y/N said as she shoved his arms away from her and stood up with the blanket wrapped around her. "You better go and shower, Holland!" She exclaimed as she exited her room.

"Join me, then!"

"Shut it, Thomas!"

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"Alright, we're on our way now, mum," Tom said through his phone as he drove in the road. "Love you too. Bye." He ended the call and placed his phone down. His eyes focusing on the road.

"What did she say?" Y/N asked.

"Harrison and Erika are already there and there done preparing." He answered and she just nodded as an answer. He glanced at her and smiled, taking her nearest hand and intertwining their fingers together. Y/N looked at him and smiled back. Tom decided to stop driving for a while which made Y/N confused. He parked the car on the side of the road.

"What's wrong?" Y/N asked, concerned.

"I just..." Tom paused for a while. "I'm just so happy that I got to see you again," Tom said and looked at her deep in her eyes.

Y/N placed a hand on his cheek and smiled. "Me too, Tom." She said.

"I'll take you with me once my vacation is over," Tom said and her eyes widen.

"But I have work—"

"I already talked to your manager and he's fine with it. He's gonna give you a break for a while." Tom said.

"How is that even possible?" She asked and giggled.

"Secret," Tom said and grinned. "I want you to see my work and some of the co-stars want to meet you."

"Seriously?" Y/N asked. "You talked about me to them?"

"Yep." Tom answered, emphasizing the 'p'. "Even the Avenger cast wants to meet you."

"Alright, then. I'll get to see celebrities." Y/N squealed and smiled at him. "At least I get to see my boyfriend work. This is exciting."

Tom placed a hand on her nape and pulled her head closer for him to kiss your forehead and lips.

"I love you, my love." He said. "You are my world and my everything."

Oh, how lucky they were for each other.

"I love you, too, Tom."

Always.

Forever.

Fin.

❝ WE WERE SO BEAUTIFUL

WE WERE SO TRAGIC

NO OTHER MAGIC

COULD EVER COMPARE ❞

❃ ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE to add, feel free to also comment or reblog how this series was. i would lovre to read your thoughts and feelings about this series. once again, thank you for reading NEVER NOT, by yours truly 🦋

❃ TAGLIST @allthisfortommy @kait4073 @lovebittenbyevans @l0ve-0f-my-life @spiitfiires @robertpattinson-th @jackiehollanderr @butterflies-glitter

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland series

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