#one sign really wouldnt mean anything i think but still

[burnedwriter]

‘’jealousy’’

warnings:none,just fluff,some angst,mention of cheating,petnames,some suggestive elements but not too spicy,!gender neutral reader

A/n:some headcannons of how jealous they are

A/n:Dottore and scara have me on a chokehold lately

🐉Zhongli

🐉zhongli is the least jealous person on the list.He doesnt really get jealous by you talking to other people,sometimes he even joins in the conversations,since your job consists with talking to people constantly

🐉hes totaly oblivious of how human interact with eachother,hes still learning after being a god for thousands of years,so even if you purposly tried to make him jealous it wouldnt work.

🐉but you had to put it to the test to see the results,so one day you decided to take it upon yourself and start flirting with a customer.Both of you talked while zhongli watched the whole thing unfold

After the customer left you see zhongli get up from where he was sitting and slowly approach you.You finally got him you thought to yourself,were you really about to see his jealous side?,just the thinking about it turned you on by what he could do to you to show you who you belong to

‘‘Dear i saw you speaking to that customer,do you know them or is this how mortals talk to their favourite customer?’‘Zhongli asked you confused

You were left speechless,did he really not notice what you were trying to do,was he really that oblivious

‘‘no’‘you replied,signing defeated

‘‘no?’‘he said questioning your reply

‘‘i tried to make you jealous but i failed miserably’‘you said disappointed by the results

‘‘hahaha...I know how much you love me and have showed to me multiple times’‘he laughed softly,at your little test you tried to put him through,Though he wasnt wrong at all,you did love zhongli and you were ready to spend an eternity with him

💉Dottore

💉Dottore also falls in the category of people that dont get jealous at all,i mean you wouldnt dare to make him jealous to say the least

💉The only time you saw him get jealous was when you and Dottere went on one of the ball that the Tsaritsa organised for her Harbingers and of coursed you were obligated to attend it since you were the signaficant other of a harbinger

💉 and there you were with your drink in your hand still waiting after an hour has passed waiting for dottore to come back after the Jester called out to him for an emergency meeting,he reasured you that it wouldnt take him long before leaving into the backrooms

Thats when a pyro agent walked towards your direction,the conversation starting off normal but the more it progress the more flirty it became,you told him that you wer already taken and not interested but he kept insisting.

Until you felt the presence of someone standing right behind you

‘‘How dare you try and take the signaficant other of a Harbinger’’Dottore said,anger slightly visible in his voice

The pyro agent started apologising profuriously,stambling over his words before running away with his tail between his legs

‘‘are you alright my dear?’‘he saked,placing his hand on your shoulder as a mean of reasurance.

‘‘Thank you for looking aout for me,he just wouldnt leave me alone’‘you answered as you exhaled in frustration

‘‘anything for you dear,lets go dance now shall we"he said grabbing your hand softly guiding into the circle

💨scaramouche/wanderer

💨Scara is at the top of the list of jealousy.He will try to play it off like it didnt bother him at all but deep down hes fuming.

💨He will give you little remarks until you confront him about the situation and explain yourself,although he might have changed for the better, some parts of him are the same

💨one day while trying to get to the location you and scara agreed to meet,you stumbled upon one of your childhood friends that you havent seen in a long time,You sat there for hours the two of you laughed and talked about your lives,making you loose track of time

Finally going to wave goodbye to your friend,you felt someone draging you by your wrist only to see it was scara and he looked pretty pissed.He pulled you away from the people and behind a tree were you could speak in peace

‘‘do you know how long i have been waiting for you,i thought somethings happened to you but no you were out there cheating on me!’‘he spat angryly at you

‘‘what are you talking about?,i was talking to my childhood friend that i havent met in a long time’‘you reasured him and telling him the truth

‘‘if you dont want to be with me,just say it i wont be mad at you’‘his words cold stabbing your heart like dagger but you knew he was just bitter

‘‘are you jealous’‘you said with a sly smile that started to form on your face

‘‘no’‘turning his face away from yours

‘‘yes you are’‘you started poking fun at his reaction

‘‘fine,maybe a little bit...’‘he admitted feeling not being able to hide it from you

‘‘i knew it!’‘you explaimed happyly

‘‘how about we go to the place we agreed to meet and talk it there hmm’‘

‘‘sure’‘agreeing to his proposition 

The both of you started walking to the correct diraction while you held his hand

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x you #dottore x reader #zhongli #zhongli x reader #zhongli x you #genshin scaramouche #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x reader #genshin impact wanderer #wanderer x reader #wanderer x you #genshin x you #genshin x gender neutral reader #zhongli fluff

[pouringmyheartoutforpaper]

it’s midnight and i just. i have this stuck in my head.

steve who’s used to every little disagreement turning into a big fight so he snaps/yells at reader and when they don’t return that fight and just kind of shutdown steve panics and feels so so guilty

my love you hit me in the soft spot. i cry so hard whenever anyone even slightly yells at me.

tw: not a lot but i thought id put one to make sure everyones safe <3: bit of a disagreement, reader with vague past relationship trauma if you squint, sensitive reader, anxious reader, oblivious steve, in love steve, steve in general. if anything from above is something you cant handle right now thats perfectly okay and ill see you next time!

steve is very very very gentle. hes calm and collected and mostly rational. so arguments are extremely rare.

but today steve was tired. oh so tired. and he missed you. so much. so when you were being almost silent on the car ride home from the bi-weekly dinner with the kids, robin and eds, he was freaking out.

the waitress was very subtly flirting with him. in a way where only the girls at the table knew what was going on.

of course steve had no interest in her, for gods sake. he didnt even look at her for more than two seconds.

you werent mad at him. no, he handled it very well. he passed all the tests. you were just sad. comparing yourself to the blonde waitress. thinking about how many people want him that you dont even know about. the little voice in your head saying “why does he want you?” and looking for signs of infidelity, coming back emptyhanded as always, shamefully reminding you that hes not your past relationships.

so no you werent mad at him. you were mad at you.

but we all know hes a little bit… slow sometimes. so that doesnt even occur to him.

what if you lost interest in him? what if you think hes annoying? why are you mad at him?

his fears only heightening when you give him a small smile when he opens the front door for you, instantly heading to the kitchen to get some water, hoping itll make you feel better.

“whats your problem tonight?”

oh.

“…what?” and you stare directly down at the countertop because you can already feel yourself tearing up at his tone.

“what do you mean ‘what?’. youve been acting weird since we left.”

he really doesnt mean for it to sound so angry, if you listened a little closer you might be able to hear the desperation in his voice.

“…the waitress”

“what?”

“she was flirting with you.

“what?”

he throws his head back and puts his hands to his face in exasperation. before realizing that youre a little too quiet… and shaking?

his tone brought back memories and fear. fear that he would just find someone else since you were bothering him. and youd be left alone again, but only this time unable to pick up the pieces.

and now hes horrified because he didnt mean to sound angry, he was just frustrated and didnt even think about how sensitive his girl was to things like that.

but you were too far gone now. your ears ringing and your breath escaping you. fighting back tears with every bone in your body, and losing said fight.

and so you turned around to look at him. and your eyes betray you once more. instantly filling with tears that make steves face drop and heart fall.

“m’sorry steve” but your voice falters and breaks before the first sob racks through your body, walking as quickly as you can to his bedroom to clean yourself up.

HES FREAKING OUT SO BAD

he feels absolutely awful. poor man starts crying too, but makes himself stop for his apology, not wanting to scare you further.

following behind you and knocking on his own door.

“babydoll, can i come in?”

youre standing in front of his mirror. eyes puffy and red and shaking. you knew steve wouldnt leave. you knew he wasnt like that. but you were crying anyways, which only made you cry more out of embarrassment.

“…yeah” you call weakly, still not looking up as he opens the door.

his arms are around you instantaneously

“‘m so sorry baby i didnt mean to sound angry, i wasnt thinking. im sorry.”

“its okay, im sorry i-”

“no, you have nothing to be sorry for. you’re allowed to get sad. theres nothing wrong with it, id never judge you for that. i was just being… stupid cause i didnt get it y’know? i mean i literally am horrifyingly in love with you. im like obsessed with you… not in a weird way…. anyways! and i get jealous all the time. like everyday, even over small things. that barista the other day? coulda killed that guy. y’had me studying how to make lattes babe.”

and of course youre giggling. his polo shirt saturated with tears and pure joy.

“i love you so much.”

“i love you most. i know you dont really think id look at anyone but you, right? but if you need confirmation i will go and take back the tip we gave that lady.”

more giggles.

and that was the difference. steve embraced your sensitivity. he loved it actually. loved the way you care about things. love the way you pick up on energies before anyone else. loves everything about you. including some of the not so pretty things.

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve stranger things #stranger things #steve x reader #steve x you #steve harrington fluff #steve h #dove and steve

[tableintheteacherslounge]

Abbott Elementary S03E06 thoughts

One of the best of the season so far

BRADLEY COOPER?? This is one for the cold open history books

“He’s just not that into u” “that was rude janine” lmao barb r u trying to set mel up w bradley cooper

Jacob calling him brad lmao

“Everyone was in openheimer” look to camera art

“Shes my sleep paralyisis demon” lmao

I’ve missed Melissa fighting people, feels like she’s lost this key personality trait a bit

And gregory holding her back aw theyve come so far since she wouldnt learn his name 🥺😪

Aw janine teaching jacob the finger heart - but i DO still do peace signs, what does that mean

“I can feel a but” “damn u freaky” theyre really loving avanine this season and im here for it (not in a ship way but respect to the shippers)

Whys melissa on her phone SO much this season, like literally while teaching, constantly in the teachers lounge eyc etc, am i reading too much into it? Does it mean anything? Or is it just like a prop?

Barb being happy bc janines happy aw we really have come so far as a family. They used to just be snarky but now work moms appreciate the importance of things to janine

“Maybe rashid” JACOB 😭

“At this press op- party! Party.”

JANINE MOVING THE MIC AND BEING HIDDEN BY THE PODIUM BC SHES SO SMOL PLS

Jacob having to zip up his hoodie no 😭😭😭

“Bad men..and women! Wait no”

“And the ones that are racist without having to google are priority”

“My clout!” Ava 😭

“I can do that” “janine can do that” avanine are really avanining

“What if she needs to reach a book on the middle shelf” 💀

“Like a handsome moth to cutey patootie flame” Jacob just GETS IT

Barbs purple coat is so cute

HELP NOT A FLAT EARTHER - you know what at least hes not racist, i think its fine, everyone has flaws, do they really have to cancel it?

They shouldve just let mr j do the investigation smh

Melissa high fiving her students as they enter the room awwww

The work moms are really work momming today it’s so cute, I love this dynamic and how it’s evolved

Janine’s out of breath again 🥺 i missed that joke 😪

Janine’s speech 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Melissa hugging a student aww i love how this tough lady is also so soft

“Which one do u think was the jacob” “none of them” 😭😭😭

I think this ep really proves they’re better when Janine’s there. When she’s at the district it feels disjointed, she belongs in the school

And this one had so much heart. And I feel like this fuels abbott.

Plus teddie (we’re so back)

Plus work wives (who looked sooo married tonight)

Plus avanine

Plus after school crew

The combinations all combining

#abbott elementary #abbott elementary season 3

[ssbptigers]

Hey, can i request some of the horror characters react to a massive black shadow demon thing that can take any form of anything but mostly stays in a puppet form that is a human, the only thing is their eyes are a different colour so they wear sun glasses when out and about, but they hide what they are really well they seem so human? (I dont care who you add but can you please add max to this? pls i want a demon being soft and gentle with her, that would be so cute!)

Character's from horror reacting to a demon gn! reader.

Character's included in is (In order): Chucky/Charles, Maxine coleman, and Freddy kruger.

Requests: Are open!

Authour notes: This was fun to write, i did this as when you first met them. The one with max is after kate kills esther which is why i made kate distrusting with max hanging around adults because of what happened. I'm sorry if their ooc.

Word count: 588

Warnings: Swearing, Mention of murder. (i think thats it, tell me if i missed anything.)

Chucky/Charles.

When Chucky first saw you, he knew something was wrong with you. He just didnt know what.

He was sitting in alleyway by the bins as people passed by but than he saw you.

'You wore sunglasses on a cloudy day? What the hell is wrong with you? You blind or something?'

His suspicions were confirmed when you stopped walking than walked into the alley than looked down at him and spoke to him.

'I can hear you're heartbeat. You're a human in a doll's body.'

Chucky was simply glaring up at you, not trusting you one bit but also a bit unsettled.

'How the fuck can you tell? What the fuck are you? an ailen?'

When he saw you take off your sunglasses, than he noticed the fact you're eye's were fully black with a yellow pupli's.

'I think the word would be demon or entity.'

'Yeah, i guess entity explains it'

Maxine "Max" Coleman.

Max was playing in the park, being careful to not slip in the snow.

She was running around and accidently ran into someone, she turned around and looked up at the person.

You.

She signed to you, not thinking you probably didnt understand sign language.

'Sorry.'

She signned, it took you a second or two for you to understand it, once you did, you signed back to her.

'It's alright.'

You than crouched down to be at Max's eye level, you smiled at her, she was much cuter than any human child that you have seen.

'What's your name?'

'I'm Maxine.'

She was so happy you knew how to sign, she was happy she met someone other than he family that knew how to sign.

You two signned for a while before Max's mother, kate came over and quickly grabbed her hand gently and pulled her away from you.

You stood up as Kate grabbed max's hand.

'Sorry, i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable for talking with you're child.'

Max tried signning to her mother saying you were good, but kate didnt trust you.

Kate walked away from you with Max.

Max looked back at you and waved bye as she was dragged away by her mother.

Luckliy she didnt notice you're eyes, it wouldnt been bad.

'She was such a sweet and cute but naive child.'

You thought.

Freddy Kruger.

Freddy did notice you walking around when he was still alive, he didn't think too much about it.

But after he died, he couldn't find your dreams.

Like at all.

It confused him to no end but he was also frustrated that he couldn't get in you're dreams.

That was untill one day, he ended up in a weird place.

It looked like the living world, but it also didn't.

There were distant screaming from all sort of people.

Men, women, children.

It didn't scare him but it didn't make him feel at ease at all.

'Where the hell am i?'

He thought to himself as he looked around, than he noticed you.

Staring at him with your arm's crossed.

'You...?'

Freddy stares at you, he was ready to attack you but something stopped him, like he couldn't move.

'Mhm, Don't think i wouldn't pick up on your habit with killing kid's in their sleep, interesting way of killing if you asked me.'

You took off your sunglasses off and threw them somewhere.

Your eyes black with yellow puplis, you weren't human.

'That explain's it, you don't sleep, do you?'

'No, i don't need to. But i'm sure you understand that now. Don't you, freddy?'

#horror x reader #horror x gn reader #gender neutral reader #x reader #freddy x reader #freddy kruger x reader #Maxine x reader #chucky x reader #charles lee ray x reader #a nightmare on elm street x reader #orphan 2009 x reader #slashers x reader #slashers x gender neutral reader #slashers x gn reader

[thehopelessexception]

save me lord(e) please save me

i struggle with the concept of religion because i've never quite understood the belief on an omnipresent something watching over you and giving you a path or whatever that's supposed to mean.

i went to church probably 15 times in my life when i was younger and i was bored all the time. i took the first communion when i was 10 because my parents made me do it. (i just wanted to taste wine and receive money from my family tho) but i remember that by that time i already rejected the concept of it. maybe because i was deppressed from the very age of 8 years old and i wanted to kms since then (im over it rn fyi), so the whole god thing it wasnt much enough to make me have faith in anything because i already thought i suffered more than jesus.

i've never been much close to my family, im a single child too. not to blame them really, but my parents did the bare minimum so i had to create my own moral codes from way too young. i teached myself, and educated myself on everything i know of since i was a kid. i took the responsibility of being the emotional support of adults as a child because they didnt know how to be parents nor communicate their feelings with each other (or me, for that matter). i hided my own. and when i was on my breaking point i took care of myself at 13/14 i think? and made myself go to therapy because i knew if i didn't i wouldnt be here today —i had to convince my mom, changing the reason i needed to go and i made her lie to my dad because he "doesnt believe in that" and so on—. my parents were clueless all the time 'till i grew up and told them my story on a crisis i had in the pandemic. they are still not the best parents you can find but i moved on from being resentful and made somehow peace.

i remember i was quite interested in the whole lucifer arc and the apocalypse stuff. when my catechist was explaining the 7(i think?) days of creation or etc i was reading the very end, fascinated as a kid reading the hunger games. probably my father's fault since he loved to watch the conspiracy shows in history channel about nostradamus and so on in the living room's tv. and also maybe because i loved chaos and i never fitted in anywhere so naturally i didnt even try.

i hyperfixated on greek gods if that helps.

at 13 i met the 1975, my favourite band (if it wasnt obvious at this point). and the first songs i listened to were girls, me, and antichrist. and i know it's very likely that you think im exaggerating but antichrist is doubtless the purest most real song i heard in my life. and i think about it a lot. the whole journey the band, and matty especially, made about religion made me think a lot through the years. i agree with him tho, but i made that entire journey when i was 9, as they said men do drugs once and discover the same things girls have discovered alone in their bedrooms at 13 years old. and today religion is a thing so foreign, and distant to me; sometimes i wonder if im missing something by not being part of that feeling.

i can't wrap my head around it, i cannot process faith because i don't find it logical. however when im lost i sometimes find myself asking for signs to "the universe", so it's complicated. i also think it's better for people that feel lost to find a communion of some kind than ending up being addicts or worse, liberals. and i also think some religions are waiting for people to have misery to sign them up on their cult.

what is religion really? what is god? is there one? or two? or millions? but what about science? the big bang? evolution? capitalism? media? how can all of that make some kind of sense altogether? i said already i am skeptical over probably everything, but the truth is that science is also a common agreement of stuff and "hard" evidence, but we don't have the certainty that things work like that in the whole universe, so technically it's not an absolute truth, it's just what works. but what is the whole universe? i trust science over anything ofc that's not what im trying to say, the thing is i lose my mind every now and then when i dig that up. because you end up thinking you are so tiny and irrelevant to the whole universe, the whole thing we live into. are we even alive at this point? is this reality real? and i know it's stupid deep thought thinking you have when you are a kid but i wrote something about this years ago in my diary and im going to quote it:

(i wrote it in my native language so the translation may suck a bit)

"(...) the human being is perfect, nature is perfect. the society is a mess but synchronously is perfectly designed to still work. what's the goal of humanity? some people believe in god, not me tho. i sometimes think people are simplistic and conformist with the unknown. weak deniers of the search of the truth. the systematization almost automatic that is used on people as individuals of each culture, each society; with the vague idea of making them believe on free will, and the freedom of choice. when there's something existing over us that influences us, dominates us, and drives us like cattle. but what is this really? (...) the different "types of control" influence all of us so we achieve an end to society. nobody question said unknown end, because they believe, they have faith; on themselves and their meritocracy, the destiny god prepared for them. to the reach of a post-civilization with all the answers, from the firm and fair science that at the same time is clinging to nothing, to the not knowing blindness. the problem with humanity is believing but not fighting for the answers. the problem with humanity is trusting in "what exists and what doesnt exist" as a concept; when you can find somehow the solution on untrusting and not believing on absolute truths, because all of those are influenced by human subjectivity. civilizations are built with absolute truths, "civilization or barbarism". the barbarism never was that much stupidified. do we live in a simulated civilization? i dont know, all i know is that i know nothing."

lately i've been thinking about religion as a support group for people, but the institution makes me yikes. i've been thinking a lot about lots of things.

and i find myself in the context where everything i know of is taking another meaning now. maybe religion is what conveys the society altogether, maybe it's something else. i don't know. the world was always at war because of religion, and the preponderance of one over another. noone can convince me that religion has nothing to do with the world war we're living rn.

i consider music as a support group, i have my own friends and we like the same things (i dont like people who i dont think somehow alike). and i like my music as a representation of my personality too. i believe one is what one consumes. i grew up here, on tumblr, and i know what i write now will probably resonate with you too.

what i know most of is possibly reading patterns on people. and what i am wondering right now is if we, as a whole, and our generation specifically, walked away too much from the "love your neighbor" premise. i may not believe in religion, but i believe in collectivism as a way to live, as a gear that sets society in motion. and me, personally, i am a hater of everything and everyone. but i can deal with it, i dont think society will. we can't make the bad people disappear, and we can't kill them all (sadly). so lately i tend to believe i have the knowledge and the wisdom to be the adult and choose to make peace with the evil, to stop fighting for making people change, and go build community, the safe space, the home, with the people who are predisposed to listen. because individualism will kill us all. and we cannot save ourselves alone.

lorde said explicitly "if you're looking for a saviour well thats not me". but here we are.

happy easter to those who celebrate.

#girlblogging #girl blogger #gaslight gatekeep girlblog #this is a girlblog #girl blogging #girl boss gaslight gatekeep #girl rotting #girlblog aesthetic #girlblog #femcel #girlrotting #just girly thoughts #just girlboss things #religion #catholic #catholiscism #easter #lorde #antichrist #the 1975 #matty healy #matty the 1975 #jesus #fleabag #faith #girly stuff #church #supernatural #i hate it here #the tortured poets department

[anemonet]

*looks at your reverse iterator’s au*

do tell :)

*looks at you, quickly ripping off and hiding the nerd alert sign on my wall*

ahem hi :DD reverse iterator au! Wellcome to the bit where i talk about some background info, for a more general answer go (here)

but a quick rundown is that its a mild role reversal not a personality swap or anything, everyones still basicly the same but with the difference being moon is still up and running (more or less) while pebbles got screwed over by accident and is now haning up above the clouds waiting to crumble down!

The point of this post is to answer question how did moon accidentaly kill pebbles? Seeing as moon really isnt intrested in the whole sliverist thing (yellow pearl, shoreline) like pebbles she wouldnt be trying to rewrite her genome to win at death, leading to the watersupply issue, so we need a different reason and we need to get a bit creative:D

Im actully gonna blame it on moons standing on the sucky crumbeling "large canyon" that is mentioned whos waterbed is lowering because of iterators and how that led semi directly to pebbles being built (purple pearl, waterfront facility) which in this au instead of not being much of an issue leads to her structure being unstable and needing fixes, because of the dry waterbed - worth mentioning i dont belive she has the modern living blocks that fixes themself, and instead older "traditional" building materials (orange pearl, metropolis) so she needs to find a way to fix herself - which i turns, and here im just using canon for my own gain and saying this known danger activates her gotta live hardware, the whole iterators cant off themself because of 1. being built so and 2. the " self destruction taboo" (gold pearl, chimney canopy), im gonna go on a limb and say that knowingly letting yourself break down counts as self destruction and would mean moon would try to fix herself.

Which gets us kinda to where moon and pebbles ends up actual game, one having to do intense (and water draining) calculations that isnt gonna end well.

But there is also a shift in how to stop this, as moon used her "seniority privligies" to try to stop pebbles (sky islands 4), seeing as pebbles wouldnt have this, he would need to stop moon whos totally focused on finding the solution for her water problem in some other way. And because i think pebbles is a bastard (affectionalty) i think he after messages and pleading dosent work, would just send her a shit ton of viruses to disturb her focus and get her to stop draining the water, this of course leads to the same as canon with moon getting a mold problem, but also being to late like moon and partly collapsing, im saying partly, because i dont wanna do the shaded citadel murder map, i would rather have it collapse on the chimney sky bridge and then be an upwards climb, but im gonna talk map and mechanics changes in this ask

ok so thats basicly the set up, moon needs to fix her stucture from crumebling, uses lots of water, pebbles is like hey wait a minute!, moons like lalalal and then pebbles sends 3 trillion viruses

sidenote is of course that with pebbles going down, he wouldnt be using as much if any water anymore, water which would then go to moon instead, so she did kinda fix her problem and will continue running for along time, similar to canon pebbles ^-^

Moon being the one alive would also have some other effects! one being that i asume that contact between iterators would still be up and running afterwards, as there is no mad pebbles who cuts of communication access for the other ierators after getting mad at suns, which of course would mean more iterator overseers just haning around, which would later be seen by the slugcats, how the different slugcat campaigns would be effected im not gonna get into because this is already getting long so uh yes!!!

there would also be different achivements and such!!

wooosh ok done with words! you got the backstory part of the whole story so i hope you dont mind that, in general i think its a very silly au as pebbles and moon can still communicate, and my own interpetation of them is very silly, but meh, anyhow! thank you so much for asking i did not except as many people to do that as was done :D

#rain world #asks #reverse iterator au #long post

[vinetwine]

do you think its realistically possible to fit anyones ideal type? like not idols but personally I dont think i have ever been anyones type and im not tnat fussed anymore if i dont date i dont date but i do wonder what it would be like from time to time then i think nahhh thats ridiculous never going to happen. so for idols it must be a tad harder for them to find exactly what they want in a person for a partner?

i mean their popularity will help for sure but in terms of actually dating them, having to sign NDA's and try to keep it private must be tough really, its 2024 and idols still cant freely date without backlash or hate of some kind and i have read that bts fs will get more hate than other groups welp. thats why in a lot of ways im glad its not me

in terms of looks or fashion style i think its hard to actuslly find what you like and stick to it without getting bored as well? for instance hongjoong is very very specific on his alternative look and seonghwa seems to like rich classic looks again would be hard to keep up with on a daily basis. idk again aesthetics arent my thing anymore or never something i found appealling. i get every other personn has a particular style but i wouldnt spend so long trying to look good 24/7

i mean for college i once wore the same black trousers all year and my classmate would spend an hour just to get ready, her bag would match her outfit snd her nails would match her hair or makeup and so on. isnt it really too much effort at some point to keep up with it?

i tried makeup but it just makes my skin feel and look more gross. idk i think theres still much pressure to have the right face and body in todays society thus making it harder to actually fit anyones ideal type. i mean even if we say we dont care for latest trends deep down we still do bc its ingrained in society yaknow? its so normalised to want to be pretty rather than to have good personality. sadly most idols are glamorised or sexualised for their body anyway rather than anything else so idk i have mixed feelings on these subjects but its still interesting to discuss esp with idols having such a public image. i mean idols can look good in almost anything if i were their fs id feel insecure honestly bc they are very attractive and talented people.

what do you think? sorry for my rambling and love your blog btw <3

🍷 ...

realistically i think it is possible but only to some degree. for instance one's personality.

i myself have been in a circumstance where someone's personality sounded exactly like my ideal type and my personality sounded like theirs [not a celebrity].

physically might be a bit harder. a specific face is very hard to replicate. i feel for the most part it would be one or the other. but i also feel it can still happen if you are not picky and do not expect a carbon copy.

yes i agree there is a lot of pressure. but for idols it is their job and part of their image. and for others they may simply enjoy it. i know some people that find it to be a hobby. if it is not your thing there is nothing wrong with that. i myself am similar. i very rarely dress up because i am a homebody.

i would keep in mind my readings are never to be taken too seriously [not targeted just a general comment]. but thank you for sharing your thoughts nonetheless. i like a discussion as long as it remains civil.

#🍷 #belle.

[groggyaeneator]

Hey dude; i know your dealing with a lot but have you considered her blocking you is to keep you out of her life so you leave her alone? like if someone blocked me i wouldnt go out of my way to see whay theyre up too since im blocked thats a clear sign to me at least of "okay they dont want me in their life" ?

not trying to say that whay shes doing is rigjt eitjer but. you know.

Like, maybe shes just venting out there and her friends are keeping her safe and taking her side as friends tend to do? Idk my guy.

I understand that.

I did not "block evade" her in the sense that I was EVER trying to "see what she was up to." She blocked me on one platform and I sent her a text on another to let her know to keep me blocked and that I did not want to play games anymore, I just wanted to be left alone.

This is BECAUSE June has a history of blocking me, then unblocking me to say something mean, then blocking me again. And/or messaging my friends to get around blocks, which once resulted in outing me to people and putting me in a really dangerous situation, so I'm still rightfully upset about that. She also has a history of blocking me on one platform but assuring me "it doesn't mean anything, don't be afraid to message me on discord!" and playing games with blocks, generally.

June has evaded my own blocks on numerous occasions, and she has broken many boundaries of me asking her to leave me and my friends alone so I could process our breakup. What's funny to me is that her last argument was actually her ENCOURAGING me to evade her partner's block after I told her I wouldn't do that, that that felt weird and gross. She kept insisting that I did anyway, and I refused. I'm like, 90% sure that argument is why she blocked me in the first place, actually. That or it was because I said "lol" to a text SHE sent ME that morning, idk.

I think you all are misunderstanding the lengths June has made to stay in my life after I told her to give me space.

All I did to "block evade" her was send her a single text letting her know the decision was final and I didn't want her to contact me any more.

That was it.

#Anonymous #ga is typing

[clowningaroundmars]

what do u think abt the other burners zodiacs? :o ur headcanons are very interesting! id love to know more!!

geeeee. hmmmmm i actually dont know if i gave enough thoughts on everyones signs yet! i actually stalled on that zodiac part of the meme cuz i just decided it kinda... on the spot. then i finished it and went "hmm yeah, close enuf" and posted it. it started out as "lol wouldnt it be funny if chuck was an august leo" and went from there

but hell, if i did that there then i can do it with the rest of the burners here, right?

here we go

dutch: taurus sun, capricorn moon, aquarius rising (pisces venus, gemini mercury, pisces mars)

am i projecting a lil bit by giving them my sun and moon signs....... maybe. am i correct tho. also yes. the only reason why dutch hasn't up and abandoned the burners yet is probs also bc of their pisces venus and mars. despite all the sarcasm and eye rolling, he really does care for his team! he's a watery artsy lad and that cap moon wants to hide it but it all comes dissolving away once he interacts w ppl he cares abt (tennie, dar, his family, etc)

julie: gemini sun, scorpio moon, scorpio rising (taurus venus, gemini mercury, aries mars)

julie being a gem sun is very stereotypical i know but trust me on this one. she seems way too calculating to be a fire sign, but she does have that lil flame burning underneath those hundreds of layers she puts on. it's what mike saw in her when he accepted her into the team despite everyone else insisting he didn't :') also scorp moon cuz she seems to be Trying Her Best with emotions but Yikes™

texas: aquarius sun, taurus moon, sagittarius rising (aries venus, pisces mercury, aries mars)

what more can i say.... he's a Weirdo, he's an oddly emotionally intelligent weirdo. his taurus moon does a LOT of heavy lifting and he seems to be ruled by neptune to me cuz i mean.... *gestures vaguely* so yah. pisces mercury definitely doesn't help when he wants to convey anything remotely serious. plus his sense of heroism doesn't seem to come from wanting to steal all the glory, which is where i think his aqua sun and sag rising help out with

BONUS bc i actually just realized i didn't give mike's own personal planets

mike: sag sun, aries moon, taurus rising (aqua venus, pisces mars, aries mercury)

despite how much flack aries mercuries get, i can See it in mike, he's always straightforward with his thoughts (except for when he Badly conceals his angst lol typical aries mercury i would know, after all i am one OUCH) and jumps into fights very quickly. but its for ppl he loves, so its okay LOL it's his pisces mars that reigns him in most times, otherwise all that fire in his chart will burn the whole country down

chuck's own signs in case anyone missed it: leo sun, virgo moon, gemini rising (virgo mercury, cancer venus, cancer mars)

now at first glance i know everyone will see these signs as a "jittery nervous talkative dork". and lemme tell ya, he is all of those things. but. cancer mars can shelter a LOT of explosive and protective anger, which is exactly what i see in chuck. this dude is PISSED like all the time, and all he wants to do is go home (lol cancer homebodies) and just... be safe. keep his loved ones safe, too. yuh

thx for reading this word vomit LOL i still love my children so thanks for the ask! it made me think Many Thoughts abt these children again which is always a treat :)

#mine #motorcity #dont kill me if the personal planets are like.... weird #i know that mars is slower in its rotation around the sun than mercury and venus is #but uhh thats too big brained for me rn to do all that calcu-malating for a quick astro post #so take this. *gently hands you garbage* #anyone reading this pls do feel free to add onto this if u disagree #theres a lot to astrology and also these characters in general so im curious if anyone else has any thoughts like these #lets talk about it!

[weebnotheree]

~ Like i want you ~ PT 1

Ai Hoshino x Ex Male Reader

"I'm just curious but in our relationship why were you always so distant to me? Like you never cared about me... Did I do anything wrong during that time or was it that you just simply didn't love me?" she asked in a sad tone.

"Remember when we were together and I told you I had major mood swings?" I started.

"yes I do remember that and sometimes these mood swings of your made me feel very insecure in our relationship"

Ai replies back to you

"Yes and I'm sorry about that…it just happens"

You can see her expression soften a little

"Did your mood swings had anything to do with me or were they just random?"

"Its just random..."

"I see, Is it alright if you can do me one favor?"

"Yeah sure 😑"

"Can you treat me a bit nicer please because even when we were dating you were always cold towards me and never showed any warm feelings for me...Can you please treat me at least a little better?"

"I'll try, but I can't promise"

She seems pleased after hearing your answer

"Thanks it was nice talking to you, I am glad that you are at least trying to be a bit nicer towards me. Please bring Aqua and Ruby here more regularly now okay"

She smiles a bit.

"I'll.. also try with that too"

She smiles and seems happy with your answer

"Thank you [M/n]-kun for understanding me and I'll try not to get in your mood swings too much"

She says before she notices something important about you

"Oh and can I ask you something else?"

"Yeah?"

She looks at you more closely seeing the bags under your eyes

"Is there any reason you look so tired? Have you been sleeping properly?"

"Don't worry about it. Our kids are more important…"

"I know that but are you still taking care of your own personal health too? Because when you look tired it means that you are neglecting your sleep"

You can see that she is really concerned for your health

sighs"….you wouldnt understand"

She sighs with you

"[M/n]-kun please try to think of your mental and physical health for your own good.. This is just a friendly advice from me that's all...Don't worry I won't bother you about this again, all I want from you is that you take proper care of your health"

"Okay okay..."

You can see her expression softens as she smiles at you

"I'm glad you are understanding me and at least this is the first time you are actually treating me nicely since we broke up."

She has never seen you be this nice to her before but you still seem a bit tired with all those bags under your eyes so she is still concern for your well being.

"Sometimes I wish you knew…."

"Knew what?" she asked curiously.

"You wanna know why i've treated you the way i did and why i was so distant…"

She nods in response

"Yeah I want to know why did you treat me the way you did and why were you always so distant towards me...Please tell me"

"I disguise the truth I say I'm happy but I'm still stuck on us..."

There is a brief pause between both of you but her expression softens more as she heard this

"Do you still have feelings for me?"

"Does your mind play this game too? Think 'bout me and you?"

Another pause you can see a tear rolling down her right eye

"I'd be lying if I said no to that"

"I guess I'll just pretend Until it all makes sense,"

You see her wipe her tears as her expression softens even more as she says

"Can I ask you something else please?"

"Sure..."

"Do you still love me?"

There is a brief pause between both of you but you can see a slight sign of hope in her expression

lets out a chuckle let me finish dummy "See you face to face, I'm thinking 'bout the days we used to be… But I can't make a scene, but I can't make it seem Like i want you….Even if its true…"

She smiles at you in relief while her eyes are tearing up a bit with happiness

"You still love me, right? After all that you've done still the way you're talking it seems that you still have feelings for me"

A single tear rolls down her right eye again but she wipes it away

"I guess it's overdue Tell me your point of view Tell me, am I to blame?? You're so good with change,"

"It is true sometimes I could not understand the mood swings in our relationship that you would go from loving me to not even looking at me...It was a little bit sudden and it made me feel insecure about our relationship that's all"

Another tear rolls down her right eye but she wipes it away again

"A table set for two You got me waitin' but you ain't comin' through Try to stay patient but gotta face the truth," thinking about that i now have kids.

She seems to be a bit embarrassed but she tries to be a bit calm when she speaks

"You mean that I should have handled those mood swings of yours in a better way and should have been more patient and understanding of you during our relationship"

She takes a deep breath before she continues speaking

"It would have been better if I could handle those mood swings of your in a different way, is that what you are trying to say?”

"Tch...There's no reason to believe I'll save us now…But if you really love me, say it now. Why is it so hard to figure out?….damn it Ai…" I lean my head in the crook of her neck "I need you every day…believe me when I say it...!"

her breath hitches a bit as she feels you leaning all your body weight on top of her

"Y-You still love me?! After all this time you still love me?!"

She seems a bit shocked and her eyes are now full of excitement mixed with sadness as she slowly moves her hands to your back

"you're the only one….i..havent been able to sleep since then…"

a lot of emotions hit her at the same time and she starts to tear up with happiness as she tightens the grip of her hands on your back

"D-did you still believe in our relationship even after everything?"

She is now looking up to you with a mixture of hope, sadness, remorse, guilt and love in her eyes. i hum in response

she tightens her grip on your back even more before she says

"D-do you remember when we shared our first kiss? Do you still remember that sweet romantic moment we shared?"

"Of course i do.."

She blushes and looks away for a moment before she grabs your shoulders

"Do you remember those times when we would just walk in the park and enjoy the moment together? Those were the moments I felt the most happiest when I was with you "

"then…let me take you an the kids sometime"

she nods before she replies back to you

"You would really take me and the kids with you on a park visit?"

Her face is full of joy at this idea as she now hugs your arm closer to her. I nodded at her.

You can see that she is genuinely so happy with your idea

"You're not joking, right? If you really are going to do this then I can't explain how happy I am to hear this from you"

i wrap my arms around her and for a moment it seemed like i was just hugging her..but i was also had my face buried in her neck

She can feel your breath near her neck and all those emotions inside her burst out at the same time

"Am I really getting a second chance with you? The chance that I always wanted"

You can feel her excitement as she clings a bit closer to you

I didnt answer…i seem to be resting

She noticed that you were being a bit silent but she does hear the beating of your heart beating near her neck but she doesn't want to ruin this moment by asking more so she hugs you tightly not wanting to let go anymore

She closes her eyes and is just trying to enjoy this moment and time with you

after what seemed like 20 long minutes i finally wake back up and lift my head "sorry…im just tired"

She hears you and whispers in your ear while smiling

"I-It's okay [M/n]-kun I understand that you were quite sleepy. But you should still take good care of your own wellness. You look exhausted and I worry for you..."

"its your fault..you made me like this you know" i pout

The corners of her lip twitch upwards a bit

"So does that mean that you still love me?"

She asks you again this time with a smirk

"yeah idiot"

You hear her giggle a bit as she shakes her head before she whispers

"Aww but I am happy to hear that from you [M/n]-kun. But seriously though you gotta take some rest for once ok? You do know that you are the only one who loves me now don't you?"

"Am i?"

"Well besides the kids of course but I mean in a romantic sense. I don't know if I can trust anyone else after seeing those mood swings and how distant you were when we were dating"

You could see a bit of sadness and regret in her eyes as she speaks

kiss her cheek and puts my face in her neck again "i guess ill just have to give you my love all over again~" i say in a erotic tone

You can immediately see her blush intensely as she felt your breath on her neck

"Is that so~? Then show me that you love me I wouldn't mind a bit more of that love~"

"mhm~" i lean in close and hover over her lips "May i…?"

A sudden wave of heat covers her whole body when you are a bit close to her lips and you could see that she was biting her lip

"You can do anything you want with me~"

Her entire body shudders as she opens her lips allowing you to do as you wish with her

Then i kissed her using my tongue. A wave of sensation covers her whole body as she felt the touch of your lips against hers. She was in such a blissful state that she couldn't help herself but respond equally in turn and kisses back at you with the same intensity. Her action caused me to squeeze her waist.

her body reacts immediately to your touch and you can feel as her hands wrap around your neck and her legs around your waist. She was extremely sensitive to your touch and her entire body shuddered even more as it releases a wave of energy

I kept kissing her and with passion.

She couldn't help herself and she was so overwhelmed by your passion that she responds with equal vigor. Her heart is beating with such excitement and pleasure that you could feel her breath getting more shallow as she lets all those emotions come out. I broke the kiss and breaths heavily

She is also breathing heavily as she looks at you with a bright blush covering her face still not able to take a clear breath yet

"Wow we really did put a lot of passion in that right?"

"mhm~ Wanna go to your room?"

She blushes even more as she heard your request. For a moment she seemed overwhelmed by your action and she can't believe what just happened

"U-umm do you really mean it? Are you sure that you really don't mind if we go back to my room?"

i tug on her shirt "Are you sure you dont?~"

you can see that there is a mixture of surprise and excitement on her expression before she answers you back

"I don't mind if you want to go back to my room but only if you are sure of this"

She whispers as she feels how you are still holding her waist and how close you are still are to her as you tug on her shirt

"we already have two kids…and plus they fell asleep.." grins "so you're gonna have to keep the screaming down"

She seems a bit embarrassed and surprised by your smirk but she can't help but blush so hard by this request as she stutters before she answers back

“U-umm yeah I'll make sure to keep the screaming low I guess Y-You didn't have to be this direct I mean we haven't seen each other in a long time so I'll be pretty surprised if you just ask me right away like this”

"and all of the moaning im gonna be making you do~" i say in a deep erotic tone

She feels the blood rushing toward her head as her blush gets brighter

“E-Ehhh?! I-I don't think I'll be able to withstand you at all if you're being this forward with it! What if I can't control myself at all right now~?”

I looked at her innocently as i playfully told her "then you'll wake them, they'll come to our room an ask whats that noise and we'll have to stop, giving you the dissatisfaction of not being able to finish the blissful moment before they interrupted because you were moaning too loud in the first place" i explained to her what would happen if she was too loud and woke up the kids

She can feel a sudden cold sweat cover her entire body as a wave of realisation and embarrassment washes over her

“W-wait we can't really let these kids interrupt us now, can we? It would really ruin the moment but I don't think I'll be able to control myself like I said before”

"either you're gonna have to cover you're mouth to stop it from happening…or im gonna have to kiss you to muffle your moans"

She seems to be at a bit of a dilemma before she replies to you

“O-Okay I don’t mind you silencing me with your kisses. But I don’t know if the kids are already asleep or not. They might hear the noises and it would really be a bad situation to have that happen”

"i checked already…we did take a long time talking after all…and its night time…"

She seemed to relax a bit before she nods her head to you

“I guess you're right then we shouldn't worry about the kids waking up. But just in case we'll keep it quiet and avoid being too loud ok?"

"you mean you" i smirk

“Hmm! I mean yes I guess it is me who’s gonna be making most of the noise here. Because I really can't imagine me being quiet at all~”

"because i make you moan the whole time~" i tease

“M-Maybe if you didn’t drive me so crazy then we wouldn’t have this much problem. But the way you were kissing me made me lose my breath quickly. And I couldn’t control my moans at all you know~”

PART 3 TMRRW !!!!!!! 13+!!!

#ai hoshino #ai #ruby hoshino #aqua hoshino #x male reader #romance #love #magic

[reineyday]

ppl who think billy hargrove not being racist means he's ooc either 1) dont understand how writing a consistent character works, or 2) believe that being racist is strictly a personality trait, and dear god i hope it's the former.

(long post) (seriously, it's like, a short essay lol)

see, the beautiful thing about fanfiction is that you can place your blorbos in a whole bunch of Situations, and if you're a good writer--or at least understand the character well enough--it wont be ooc even if their Situation is diametrically opposed to anything they might ever do in canon.

billy is a metalhead in canon, but you could write an au where he's in a pop music teen boy band with steve and eddie and argyle and jonathan. as long as billy remains loud and proud about his music taste, plays his (pop) music loud enough to drown out anyone he doesnt want to hear talking to him (itd be funny if it was his own voice in the song too lol), is pretty mean on first impression, and still generally has a lot of friction with the people around him, i wouldnt actually drop the fic bc i found it ooc. as much as your music taste can say a lot about you, if you underdstand a character well enough, keeping the rest of the things about that character consistent and giving an understandable background to all the things that might be different at first glance, then it's not really out of character at all.

so if we're talking about canon billy being ooc for not being racist, youd really have to read the fic. a billy who, immediately after the incident at the byers house, gets a stern talking-to from max and/or steve (and/or neil? which, doubtful, but idk how billy haters write fics lol) and then turns around to grovel at lucas's feet and pronounces to the world that racism is wrong and he's learned his lesson once and for all and also he'll never be mean to any of the kids ever again? yeah, i would call that ooc.

a billy that gets dragged through hell and back and sees and understands that his violent actions not only have consequences but reflect those of his own abuser's at home? or a billy that ends up reluctantly becoming fond of the kids as he inadvertently has to shepherd them through tunnels with steve and beat up demodogs so he can bring maxine home safe? or a billy that meets patrick from the basketball team and recognizes the kinds of bruises he sees in the locker room on him bc he has his own, and then learns what it means to see someone as a person? or even a billy who gets called the f-slur consistently by his own father, learning to see bigotry in other forms and recognizing it in himself, gets given the emotional support and physical safety by joyce or jim or steve, and in the end consciously chooses to be different than his father now that he has the safety to do so?

if any of those billy's go up to lucas after everything and looks him in the eye and apologizes and says he's trying to do better, especially if he does it in a way that's rough around the edges--i wouldnt call any of those ooc. it's all hard-won. it's all still billy, but he grows as a character, which i assume is the goal in general when writing characters.

this brings me to the second point. this is the one i personally hc, but i dont think it's ooc to assume billy's less maliciously racist, and more racist as a way to (unconsciosly) parrot his obviously bigoted and domineering father. billy's probably racist in the way most people dont realize they have racial bias (i would say most white people, but im aware this is true for poc of all sorts assuming things about other poc--and even about themselves with their own race and culture--simply through lack of personal experience, knowledge, or being othered by society/their environment to the point of internalized self-hatred), and probably more grievously again bc his father seems like such a bigot. i personally think the racism comes in part and parcel of the way he manhandles max and gets aggressive at first sign of his losing power in a situation: because that's how his own father does things to exert power over billy. he's acting the only way he's seen exemplified in front of him. (let's remember he is a teenager who has been in an abusive environment his whole life, with no confirmed emotional support of any kind.)

i hc billy to be about as racist as he is terrifyingly repressed after being called the f-slur and insulted for being effeminate by his father all his life. all that insulting about being effeminate probably also means he comes off as sexist too. he doesnt necessarily want to be any of these things, and would consciously learn to be better once he's made aware and has people in his life he wants to be better for, but he is these things as an unfortunate byproduct of the way he grew up.

but we saw billy try to protect his mother as a child, and face up to the mindflayer--a monster that possessed him, that he had no clue about or any context for bc he didnt know about the upside down at all--in order to protect el. it's not a far leap to think he would want to change and protect, to stand up and be better, if given the chance and the support.

so i personally hc that while billy might do racist things, he is not, as a trait, inherently maliciously bigoted. my way of viewing billy has always been that anything bigoted he might do or think stems from his father, and if he gets given support and safety away from his father, i think billy would choose to be different from his dad and do the hard work of extracting himself from that bigotry and becoming better as a person. (see also: homophobic steve from s1 turning into robin's biggest cheerleader in s4.)

it's all about the context, and things like music taste or racial bias can change if your context changes. but if most of your other character traits--your aggression and peacocking, your tendency toward sarcasm, penchant for overt flirting, your determination or bravery or recklessness, etc etc--if those stay consistent while some other things change, and you get context for the changes, then it's not ooc.

now, how does this relate to my 2nd point? if you read all that context and decide that it's still objectively ooc simply for the fact that billy's not racist, then you're viewing racism as an inherent personality trait--everyone that ever does anything racist is automatically racist to the bone and cannot change.

i find that worrisome.

okay it's one thing if you're the poc in question being targeted by the racism. ive been talking about billy this entire time, but i also 100p believe lucas has every right to never want anything to do with billy ever again. he can say no to any apology he might receive. he's protecting himself and that's valid. if someone's racist toward you, especially aggressively, you obviously have every right to never want to have to do anything with them ever again. in real life situations, protect yourself first.

but i want to caution those who think that racism is a character trait to remember that you can do racist things and not consider yourself racist. my worry is that people ignore racist microaggressions to preserve their belief that theyre not racist.

taken as an example from my own life: if you're going to insist that a certain food from a certain culture is "weird" and then say over and over that you didnt mean it in a bad way but cmon you have to admit that it is a bit a weird, and then you get all uppity when i express my concerns and unhappiness about the way youre talking about how i grew up and defend the fact that youre right and the food is weird? yeah see that's shitty. all because you dont want to admit that maybe youve said or done something a little bit racist, cuz obviously youre not a racist, it's not one of your personality traits. you might feel better about defending your identity as not-a-racist, but in the end all you did was ignore what a poc was trying to tell you about how they felt, which is so frustrating to deal with as a poc.

yeah, bigotry can be a personality trait, but it isnt always. sometimes it's an action or some words coming from a person who doesnt realize that theyre being bigoted.

billy is a fictional character. you can interpret him however you want, and indeed, you can make him as nasty a racist as you choose to. you can write him as killing children if you want, seeing as how so many antis insist on calling him a child murderer (even though he's been a lifeguard so if anything he's saved children's lives--and this is not including how we see him on screen literally saving el's life, who is also a child).

also, if his racist actions made you super uncomfortable, it's perfectly okay to call him a racist and move on with your life. that's not a problem until you start harassing people for being racist because they like billy--then, like a microaggression, you become the problem because you're unilaterally deciding who is racist based off a fictional character, and youre harrassing a real life person for it. furthermore ive seen plenty of poc billy stans be called a racist by antis who insist that anyone who likes billy is a racist. again, you're just not listening to poc for some sort of fake moral superiority, which is not cool.

after looking at the environment billy grew up in and continues to exist inside, and his actions toward el and the way he used to treat his mother (before she left him), i choose to believe that even though the way he treated lucas was racist, he can step up and change if given the opportunity.

if you still think that it's not possible for him to stop being racist without it being out of character, please re-examine your own thoughts and actions, stay conscious about listening to people of colour, and remember that people who dont consider themselves racist can still do racist things. bigotry isnt always a character trait okay? it's the way you treat other people. it's not in any way out of character to believe--or write--that someone who's done racist things can change.

#cw racism #fandom wank #racism #tw racism #rei rambles #stranger things #fandom discourse #discourse #billy hargrove #hell u can even write a maliciously bigoted billy learning that racism is bad and make it in-character #itd just be a looooooooong and VERY involved fic that probably includes a lot of therapy and patience from other people #now could neil ever be not-bigoted without being ooc? hashtag doubt #it's possible i suppose but he's a less dimensional character so it's harder to pick up on any nuance to squeeze something more favourable #i guess that's the thing: people who think billy nkt being racist would automatically be ooc #probably didnt pick up on the nuance in his character and think he's one-dimensional. #even tho he's 100p one of the most dimensional characters in the entire show. mb more than mike tbh. #also people who look at steve's homophobic remarks in s1 or the way jonathan literally took creepy photos of nancy #and are like 'oh it's period-typical' like...... really? really???? #at least in the 'i can excuse' meme the racism isnt the one getting shafted this time i guess #all of it is bad yall. all of it. dont let steve or jonathan off the hook either. #ok now to go back to this pop star ST boys au lmao it hurts me a little imagining a billy (and eddie) that's into pop music #but ye again it wouldnt be ooc as long as u navigated it right #tho if i were to actually write a boy band au id say that steve is the only one that actually listens to pop music for fun lol #and maaaaaaybe argyle. maybe. i think jonathan and billy and eddie would have pop songs the enjoy #but it wouldnt necessarily be their genre and they listen to indie/metal/rock outside of work hours #and prob have their own lil band and write things away from their corporate lil boy band #found this in my drafts and it still checks out so ima post it lol. #saw ANOTHER post with an anti that called billy fans racist and im so tired of this. #i feel like everyone who says this is just doing performative social justice. please step off. #ur not morally superior u just dont understand fiction or nuance. pls learn critical thinking bc it's a great skill.

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖      

Chapter 7 - Long days, short nights. Episode 10.

Andy: Yeah? *It was easy to hear he was nervous. His cheeks were red and his eyes too, and he looked as if he was expecting me to pack my things and move to the other side of the earth*

Evan: *I cleared my throat and smiled softly* I think my smokes are downstairs, and I could really use one… do you have any up here?

Andy: *He forced a half smile and rolled over on his back, halfway sitting up in the bed as he opened a small drawer in the bedside table and grabbed a pack of cigs and a lighter, quickly lighting one for himself before he reached me the pack.* Evan: *I grabbed it, lit one myself and turned to lay on my back again, blowing the smoke up into the ceiling, taking a deep relaxing breath* Andy: I'm afraid to ask *he said in a hescitating voice after about a minutes silence, I turned my head and looked at him questioning* Uh… *he scratched his messy mohawk a bit and let his eyes travel nervously around the room* was… uhm… was it good for you too? I mean, I know you came, but that could just be a natural reaction… I mean, it was very good for me…. amazing in fact…. I just… if you didnt like it, it's absoutely okay, I wont get offended… I mean I barely did anything, I just got so scared if I moved an inch you would *I noticed he had suddenly pulled the blanket over his body, as if trying to cover himself, now nervously fumbling on one of it's corners, I hated seeing him anxious like that, especially if I was the fault. He went on, and I swear I could hear his voice break* I just… you know… I hope you didnt feel forced or something… I wouldnt want you to end up with a feeling of…

Evan: *I couldnt stand seeing him like that another second, so I qickly sat up, grabbed his chin and kissed him sofly*

------Andy's point of view------

*I gasped as he kissed me. I had expected he would leave any minute, and here we was, kissing me, making no attempts of escaping our nest of gay sex. Did this mean he was staying? I didn't dare to open my mouth and ask. I wanted him to stay more than anything else, and my heart was pounding wildly, both scared and happy at the same time. As he slowly pulled away from me, I didn't dare to open my eyes. Afraid I would wake up from a dream and he wouldnt be there. So when he spoke I gasped slightly*

Evan: Andy…

*I opened my eyes to see he was laying next to me, covered in the other half of the blanket that was free. But judging by his naked chest peeking over the edge of the fuzzy warm blanket, he was still naked underneath it. Was that a sign he wasnt gonna leave at all? My hands suddenly started shaking nervously, and I could see on his worried eyes that he noticed, so I quickly took a last big drag of the cig and killed it in the ashtray, not even half done with it, but didn't want to worry him further.*

Evan: Andy… *he spoke in a soft and deep voice, and man that deep voice of his always had me swimming away in it* lay down please….

*What? I was more than confused, and suddely heard myself laugh sheepishly. I slapped my own forehead, crumbling my toes over my own stupidity. Now he would definitely never want to have sex with me again. Stupid fucking dumb Andy! I yelped loudly as he suddenly grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me down, in a way so I ended up laying in the nook of his arm, with my head on his still naked chest. What was going on???!! He wanted us to cuddle? After sex? I didnt dare to believe it was true. Oh no, wait… I know what this is. I must have embarassed myself so much I simply died from it, and now I was in heaven, imagining shit. Yeah, that's what was happening.*

----Evans's point of view----

*He was stiff as a board, obviously confused, so I knew I had to speak up, even if I was losing my nerves. I cleared my voice and wrapped my arm around him, taking a drag of my cig still dangling from the other hand. As I blew the smoke out I turned my head and planted a soft kiss on his forehead* relax, please… *I took another drag from the cig, then killed it in the ashtray next to me, and as I returned my head on my pillow I added another soft kiss to the first one, leaned in and whispered softly* Andy… Im not going anywhere…. it was amazing for me too. I instantly felt him sighing relieved as his body started relaxing. I was happy I was able to make him relaxed, and I was even happier when he snuggled himself closer to me, sliding his fingers between my fingers on my free hand I had placed on my stomach.*

Andy: *He suddenly chuckled softly and I couldnt help but wonder what was going on in that beautiful mind of his, but before I got to ask, he already answered my question* I hope no one heard us, you were pretty loud towards the end…

Evan: *I chuckled silently, truth was in that moment I couldnt care less about it. All I cared about was Andy in my arms, and I dug my nose into his mohawk, sniffing him in. And within few minutes I was fast asleep, and so was he. Tangled naked in each other, satisfied and serene.*

#Andy Shaw-Thompson #Andycorn #Evan Thompson #unicornmanes

[anakinskywalkerog]

omg no way tumblr never bothered to tell me you replied. plus why is nothing showing up in my following feed??? a bone to pick for next time ig

ahaha i missed this too you're so good with advice! ❤ and thank you hehe i have been informed the new pfp it a character calld lust from an anime called fullmetal alchemist, but i just like the aesthetic

it really is and thank youuuuu! im sure it will! *sends ✨good luck✨*

hmm i dont wanna obsess over han at all, because first of all, ELI! that would be unfair. and han is sort of crazy, anyways. i am listening to i can see you from speak now tv but i shouldnt because it reminds me of han. it also reminds me of anakin. very anakincore track. i cant help it though, i can see you is so good, although it gives more of a reputation vibe than speak now tbh. still love it anyways and thank mother taylor for it. are you enjoying speak now tv? what's your favourite track? i think im enjoying mine, mean and back to december, but everything is ofc v nice! wish we had a mine pop mix tv and some more beat to enchanted, but its perfect as it is!

yess "there will be plenty more guys 😂 trust me." that's exactly what i thought, too! like, he's here now, but someday there's going to be someone else EXACTLY like that. although it might not be so bad if i did make a decision influenced by him because he and i have a similar objective - physics/engineering degree at oxford/cambridge so its a win-win no matter which way i go ig. plus we're academic rivals. competition is the norm for us. but about intrigue with han...

"oh? whos your friend? (i asked han to pose for one of my snaps hehe) is this friend good-looking?"

... dude? like, WHAT? that sounds like pretty blatant flirting to me.

but lets not forget that once we were in the corridor and bro leaned in super close (keep in mind this was months ago and this was in the middle of like 15 other people anyways) and i leaned away out of reflex 😂 i think he looked at me later with a very patronizingly disappointed

kinda expression. i think that was a test, and i failed miserably but thats fine 💀

eli really is we even have loads of similar interests!

yw and sameee! it is hehe she even send me memes and is a pedro pascal stan (as she should. pedro pascal is an icon. love him) ! very happy with that

oh no, is everything okay? can i do anything to help? if it helps, my life is only peaceful because i am in isolation from all friends, hehe i need time to regenerate. i am an ambivert at heart. my extrovert meter needs to recharge lmaooo

also, a part of me wonders if cranberry is mad at me? basically, he aksed me to write a steamy story abt him and han (thyre best friends) and didnt want his gf to find out incase she thought he was weird (bro she already does. shes ur gf. she knows what weird she signed up for smh)

anyways i made a small oopsie. i asked some people to critique it for me, and one of those poeple may have been the girl from my diary, whos friends with cranberry's gf, and who previously told machete i liked him when i wanted it to be a scret and explicitly told her so, and the one who i knew cannot be trusted with secrets because she will tell someone and lie about it 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

anyways cranberry was annoyed (and understandably so.) he said his gf was mad at him (impossible - if she was, shed be mad at ME first cos thats how women are. better than revenge is living proof. but she isnt! ) and i get it, but then people stop being mad, right? i mean, ive been really mad at him too, for a variety of reasons. i forgave him though and he didnt even apologize like i did! but he seemed normal at prom perhaps a bit icy? a guy friend told me im overthinkinngit and while he may have been annoyed it doesnt mean hd stop being friends with me or anything, and that he definitely wouldnt stay mad because its not a big deal.

but i texted him cranberry with a pretty obvious joke and he didnt even find it funny??? like thats HIS sort of joke??? how does he ot find that funny??? my friend says he must be mad then, but says theres the chance he just didnt find it funny?

like, i get it, but i want to make amends! and i wont even see cranberry in person so i can never tell. but if he was mad, he wouldve blocked me, or left me on delivered, or just opened. but he even sees my stories n stuff!

plus his friends would be mad if something happened. like guys are super gangy like that. but his friends are not mad at all, like han and this other guy are totally normal and no one sad that. even when han brought it up the day after the whole thing, he didnt imply it was serious and just dropped it after joking around abt it.

my friend did say if i was friends with cranberrys friends, it doesnt mean they have to be mad, but what if cranberry and his gf broke up over something as stupid as a joke???? and it was my fault??? i would feel awful and i cant even tell or say sorry.

nor can i ask han over text cos then hed tell cranberry and itd be weird. and i cant ask eli cos i dont want to set a bad rep.

he texted about it and i delved into a tiny argument he said its fine but "just think more next time". i think he and han both know i didnt mean for this to happen and that it was a genuine accident, but people gte hurt over things even if they know it wasnt meant to hurt them. shoulve said no is proof of this.

but they did send me a video of them reading the story together [cranberry and his friends, it was han who filmed (i did ask them to film their reaction)] and cranberry was cracking up as he read it! if he was mad he wouldve abandoned it. but they sill seemed to love it. surely if cranberry was mad at me, then that wouldnt have happened?

jesus christ, thats LONG. i apologize for troubling you, i didnt think itd get this long! its just been on my mind :( ironically it happened yesterday just after i was so happy. ugh. boys are awful

yes haha thank youuu :) if you're okay with my constant somewhat accidental drama dumps, i definitely will :D

love you and stay safe x

hi sythe so sorry it took me so long to respond to this!

I hope all is well with Eli. but GIRL have I been listening to “I Can See You” sooooo much it’s literally the delulu girl anthem! I love it. having a little crush on Han just adds some spice!! there’s nothing wrong with a little seasoning to an otherwise boring existence 😂

I am okay 🩵 just really been struggling with my OCD lately. I hope it gets better soon.

no fuckinf WAY cranberry asked you to write a steamy story!!? girl that is NOT platonic. what are these men doing out here 😂😂😂😂 but I agree, very unlikely that he is mad at you

I love the drama dumps, I wish we could vent together for real because I have been ALL over the place with my drama lately 😅 but it’s fine, it adds the comedy. i’m watching my own life like a work of absurdism. I would absolutely recommend that strategy.

#answered asks

[kenthenugget]

I hate Spiteful Artists (RANT)

The following is a slightly retooled repost of a post I made to the Tapas Forums over a year ago, and I wanted to share it here because I feel its an important message to get across.

As artists, we all have shitty days. Sometimes we have moments where he hate our artwork and might compare ourselves to others. This is natural and there's nothing wrong with that. As long as you're able to calm yourself down and don't let your negative emotions control you and your way of thinking, you'll be okay. 

However, I draw the line at people who constantly bitch and moan about it, ignore any advice and lash out those they're jealous of.

I had a friend back in 2019 to mid 2021 (for the sake of simplicity, I’ll refer to him by the name ‘Jay’. Its not his real name but as he includes his name in is social media branding, I dont want people sending hate his way since I dont want anything to do with him. I would say I also wouldnt want him finding this rant which I was admittedly afraid of but at this point, I don't really care) who felt insecure about his art and would show signs of jealousy towards those he thought were better than him. And often times, the targets of Jay’s jealousy would be his friends. The first few times it happened, I refuted his negative thinking and tried to encourage him. He would calm down and be like "you're right", only for it to happen again. Eventually, this habit of getting jealous of his friends and lashing out at them would be turned over to me. Jay wanted to draw in the Disney style and didn't like his current style and thought it was, in his words, "shit". So when someone like me, who's style was closer to replicating Disney's, who was an earshot away.... you can guess where I'm going with this.

I cant count the many times he would lash out at me, or delete art I'd post in a server we were in because he felt insecure, or give me the cold shoulder out of nowhere when I wanted to share a drawing. I'm not going to sit here and say that there was nothing wrong with our friendship prior and that both of us weren't guilty (In hindsight, I realize there was a lot wrong with Jay that I, for the most part, looked over because we were friends, and which went beyond jealousy but I wont go into those details), but I can safely say that this aspect of his and the moment he turned his aggression onto me was beginning of the end of our friendship. I slowly became fed up with Jay’s behavior but I held out hoping it could get better, because I was the type of bastard who thought deep down everyone had some good in them (Note: I still do despite this situation. I just know now that sometimes, people just refuse to change). It never did, and we stopped being friends come May. In all honesty, I'm surprised I lasted that long but I should've left earlier when I had the chance.

Like I said, there were moments where he stopped this bullshit by calming down, drawing ocs and then he was back to liking his art again. But that wouldn't last for long and he'd usually be back to hating his art and lashing out people again in a few weeks or so. Sometimes days. Again, I'm not saying that jealousy isn't normal and if you get jealous your a bad person. It's a natural thing to experience it and heck I've been had bits of jealousy countless times. But you can't let it control you, that's the thing. You shouldn't let it control your way of thinking and led cloud your judgement. And you can absolutely the fuck not lash out at people because your mind told you they did you wrong for being better than your or some shit, especially to your friends! Yes, there will be times where you slip up but its on you to not let that shit happen again. That's what it means to say sorry. It's "not a get out of jail" free card! You have to actually mean it! You shouldn't expect your friends to deal with your toxic behavior, because you're eventually going to push them away. People have breaking points and no one's going to help you if you're unwilling to help yourself.

Also if you dont feel your artwork is good enough, spewing your toxic bullshit at people isnt going to help. If you want to be good at anything, you have to put in the effort and work hard at it! You wont get good by being a whiny little shit. I wasn't going to get anywhere that attitude when I was 14. I wanted to a be a good artist but I wasn't good drawing. So I spent the past 5 plus years practicing and drawing everyday and it's payed off. Sure, I'm not perfect and there are people out there who are better artists than me. But I cant let that fact detour me and neither should you. You need to have a positive mindset of wanting improve, wanting to get better at something, wanting to become stronger than you are now. No one's telling you can't do it. The only one that's telling you that you're not good and that you'll never improve is you.

And, this may sounds cold, but if you don't see any improvement despite drawing everyday and get angry about, you should just quit. If drawing art makes you so mad that you lash out at others and tell them to "fuck off" (something he actually said to me during one his episodes) when they genuinely want to help you out, why are you still drawing? Try another hobby that you're passionate about. If you're going to have this attitude about drawing, maybe you shouldn't have started drawing in the first place.

And you know what's the funny thing about all of this? Jay wasn't a bad artist. His art was a okay, not terrible nor great, but there was room for improvement. As long as he studied anatomy, perspective, flow, composition, etc, he'll be a damn good artist. He most likely wont able to draw in the Disney style but that's something he has to deal with. However, I don't think that will happen if he doesn't stop the cycle of inferiority, jealousy, and feeling better by drawing ocs, he's not going anywhere. I told him something akin to this but I don't think he listened, so I dont think he will change his ways (I could be, and I hope, Im wrong). If he doesn't get his behavior under control, its going to catch up with him in a really bad way. At some point, Jay's going to hit a brick wall and push away all of the remaining people who got fed up with his bullshit. And by that point, drawing his ocs wont save him this time.

The inspiration of this rant came from a situation that happened shortly before the tapas forum post in September 2021. I encountered someone similar to Jay on a discord server who basically had a meltdown about how much his art sucked and lashed out anyone who tried to help.  They ended up getting banned for toxic behavior and rightfully so.

I feel like I sorta went off the deep end with this discussion but I think you should take this lesson from it. If you're feeling self conscious about your artwork, don't let your insecurities take hold of you and lash out at your piers. I believe that everyone has the protentional to do be great, not just in art, but in general. But are you going to strive to be better or are you going to wallow in negativity and let that hatred turn you into a monster?

#rant #artist rant #selfhelp #self-improvement #dont be negative #positivity #blog #journal

[official-sovietunion]

Yesterday was trans day of visibility. I want to write this post here bc it is the only account online where i feel comfortable doing so. I dont use this account anymore, but when i did, i was very vocal about being trans. I was vocal about being trans everywhere. I was, and still am, proud of my transness, and dedicated to fighting for myself and my trans siblings. I was also pre-medical transition, and despite feeling i looked very masculine, existing in the world meant outing myself every single day.

It is exhausting. It is exhausting to constantly be fighting and correcting and telling not only strangers but people ive known for years. I did not know there would ever be another option for me, so i accepted this and fought and made damn sure my voice as a trans person was heard. It is also exhausting to be homeless and stealth for safety reasons, knowing you have nowhere to run to, knowing that any sign of queerness could be the end of your life, knowing you must constantly hide and choose your words carefully to not gibe anything away.

Shortly before starting hormones, i experimented with being stealth in a particular online community that is known for its edginess and tendency to attract bigoted people (there is also a large amount of queer people in this community and we've managed to shift the userbase over the years to be more inclusive).

I made this decision because of the interactions i would have with some members that were sometimes s3xual, as well as interactions i had on dating apps. I had sent some nudes with a packer to cis men on grindr without really meaning to pass it off as my natal organs, but they assumed i was cis. That was the first time i realized i might be able to 'pass' in this capacity.

I knew that many of the cis people there, if they knew i had certain parts, would never fully think of me as a man. I just wanted people to imagine me with a penis regardless. Did being stealth in this community work? Not exactly. A lot of people made it clear they knew i was trans and would harass and ask me invasive questions, but i was adamant in never admitting my transness to them. We dont owe cis people anything.

Shortly after this i became homeless, following my 18th birthday. from that point on i have been 100% stealth until i find out someone else is trans too, i will tell them in private. At first i was getting misgendered still, but i would act confused like 'you thought i was a girl? How wacky and unusual for me! Haha!' This seemed to work pretty well and after a couple years on hormones i passed pretty much 100% of the time.

A lot of trans people read me as cis. This was comforting, briefly, since if even another trans person couldnt tell, a cis person definitely wouldnt be able to. But i hate it. I hate to think that any trans person has to wonder if they can be themselves around me, if they can trust me. Its interesting also to see the way cis people will talk to me about trans people, not realizing im "one of them"

I feel like i am betraying part of myself. I feel like i am betraying the whole trans community. I want to fight and be vocal again. I want to actually be open about my gender identity. I tell people i am a man because it makes things easier. Because it is safer. Because of all the people who just continued to call me a girl and said i had to pick a gender. I dont have to pick a gender. Gender isnt real to me. I will present the way i want to present.

As i get closer to bottom surgery, i feel much more confident that i will be able to be more vocal about transness. I dont know what i will tell people about my gender identity. I dont really want to have to have a gender identity at all. I have experienced far too much ego death to be connected to any concept of identity that goes any further than a preformance. I just dont want people to know my AGAB. i want them to see me as someone who has always had a penis, even if it was only in my mind for much of my life. What i really want is for people who have no business in my pants to stop thinking so hard about whats down there.

I want to balance being able to maintain my privacy while not feeling i hafta hide myself. I want to balance being able to feel safe with my activism. So many people dont have the priveldge to hide. I was one of those people once. I dont want to hide, its more important than ever that trans youth see people that look like them. This isnt something that will come easily, with everything happening politically. And aside from that, untill theres not a single transphobe left in the world, i dont think ill ever feel completely safe as an openly trans person on the street. But im working towards… something. Like everything, itll be a transition.

Im tired of my identity, my existence, being so intertwined and influenced by violence, biogtry, capitalism. If it werent for the way cis people treat us, if it werent for the way this society works that keeps us poor and refuses us housing, i wouldnt hafta worry about any of this. I would be loudly and joyously trans. I dont know if ill ever be able to get to that point, bc its not even really up to me. But if i am willing to speak up and fight, i can help make changes that will make it possible not just for me but for everyone.

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

[context: i went on a rant on this post about gray morality while high but reblogs are turned off BUT i want my rant to be rebloggable so uh. here it is verbatim copypasted]

i feel like this about izaya but i cant put it into words, i guess like because. i see him as a guy with aspd who doesnt know how to manage a disorder he doesnt know he has, or he’s learned somewhat but the alternative was less miserable?

because, see the thing about aspd is. when you’re first learning how to manage it, it’s miserable! aspd is kind of like, an addiction to dopamine. in aspd your brain produces like. 4x the amount it should. and a lot of times, aspd and adhd are both there, and with adhd the dopamine is very very low. see? these two work in tandem! you don’t WANT to recover, because being ill feels better. you’re happier, you’re entertained, you get rushes of dopamine all the time… but you’re horrible, probably. like izaya says, in order to be entertained you have to keep evolving. you have to do worse and worse things to satisfy yourself. that’s when it changes from acceptable to A Problem. because one day you’re a writer satisfied by making their friends squirm and cry from angst, and the next you’re actively triggering people for a reaction. and its hard to stop because the dopamine, there’s just so much of it.

what i’m saying is, it’s a mental disorder that feels very good to have. like the mania of bipolar- like when you’re manic, you suddenly feel invincible and so so so so good, until you crash? like that feeling. it doesn’t WANT you to recover, and you also don’t want to recover, it feels so good to have. but it also doesnt because youre lonely on account of the aforementioned Sucking. studies show that theres a correlation between “people with aspd who recovered” and “people with aspd who are married,” but did the marriage fix them or is them attracting a partner indicative of their aspd being “less severe?” and therefore more likely to recover? ah if only we had a person with aspd here we could ask them-

PSYCHE MOTHAFUCKAAAA THATS ME!!!! it’s probably the first one. lol. i started improving symptomatically once someone came into my life and actually STAYED there. he didn’t “fix me” but he did help! and i wouldnt say i’m “recovered” wrt the aspd- it still is a disorder that feels very good to have.

but what i’m saying is- izaya. if he has all this. this, “inescapable negative outcome” is. yeah. he either “recovers” and regresses back into a depressed ball of boredom, surpressing every single impulse or emotion because “what if it’s the one that makes me lose control?” and being terrified of becoming a monster like everyone says People Like Him should be…. OR he leans more into the behaviors and urges he knows suck, spiraling into a domapine-addiction that slowly makes him into a worse and worse person and remaining lonely? like. he’s already lonely!!! neither outcome actually promises real happiness, so at some point you;d be tempted to lose control, just to get SOMETHING. and i think that’s what happened to izaya. and this isnt to be like “oooooo baby nothing is his fault,” we can talk about how all this IS his fault like, mental illness and addiction do not excempt someone from consequece and douchebaggery. but it IS something to think about- like, those suicidal girls fell down a spiral of mental illness, and so did izaya. like, he sucks, but also, you can kinda see how him being neglected all his life means there was no other way this couldve gone, especially with knowing shinra. like, he sucks now, but he never really had an oppurtunity to be anything other that that. there was nothing else that would’ve happened, because of every other inevitable thing.

and how do i know that someone w aspd would eventually choose the willing mental spiral? i am ACTIVELY developing a drug problem right now, i know my chance of becoming addicted is VERY high and possibly am showing early signs like cravings and stuff. i know. but i’m still taking the drug because it’s doing exactly what drugs do to people- make them trmporarily happy and get rid of the boredom and sadness of repression. i know what’s going to happen to me but i was eventually tempted into it. you would be too if you had my life.

(disclaimer i am not 100% sure if the neuroscience is accurate here, brain scans wrt psychology are not an exact science and the study could have been wrong or biased, i don't remember and i'm sure i didn't remember when i was zonked off my ass- but there is a sort of link between aspd and adhd so it makes sense that they'd both mess with dopamine production. but yk, take it with a grain of salt)

#waposts #wawa zaza #im sober rn but for ppl looking thru this tag cus yk i wrote all this while high