#one of the worst traumatic incidents i went through with my mother happened on my birthday as a kid

[purp-yam]

Healer Mushroom's Bedtime Story: The King & The Prince, A Kingdom's Tale

Tainted Ancients AU - purp-yam

"Ahh.. This tale is as old as time, all the folks and citizens of the Cocao Kingdom tell this story to inspire hope and prosperity in the future. Are you ready Healer Mushroom Cookie?"

"Nyah! I don't wanna go to bed, yet! Plus...i-its not fair that grown-ups get to stay up.."

"Well..Healer Mushroom Cookie, you are but a child. Children need all the sleep they need in order to feel energetic in the morning and we don't want a cranky Healer Mushroom do we?"

"Hm..no, I guess not."

"Now are you ready for your bedtime story, young one?"

"Mhm!"

"Alright then, let's begin shall we?"

(The font color is different but Milky Choco is still telling the story, if that makes sense)

✨️ —————— storytime ——————✨️

"Once up a time, In a kingdom far far away. There lived a king and his citizens. The king was cold as ice, he looks upon the people below him as mere crumbs, beings not worthy of sentience. 'Do as I say, and there shall be no consequences..but if you refuse, death is your punishment.' The king said as his thundering voice roamed through the land."

"The citizens had no other choice to agree, their old king had been overthrown by a tyrant that had horrifying strength. His servant was almost as powerful as him. She is the enforcer of his rule, protests from citizens of any kind is punishable. The citizens prayed for a miracle to happen but more atrocities came instead."

"This was the worst of them all..The ruthless king ordered all the women to intermingle with him, if they weren't willing, he would force them. After that, the women were traumatized beyond belief. Three months after the incident, the kingdom went back to their old lives, serving the king and doing his bidding."

"One evening when nothing in particular was occurring, a strange child called Fudge The Lost appeared inside the great chocolate walls. He hadn't been older than the age of ten. The child was discovered by the king himself, 'Weak cub, where are your guardians?' '...' 'You dare not to speak to me?' '...' Fudge only nodded in silence."

"The king inspected and observed the child. His features, his posture, everything was so odd to him. He didn't look like he belonged in any region of Earthbread. 'Hmm..where are you from, child?' 'nowhere.' The king had thought well and hard what to do with the poor child. 'I have a proposal for you, think of it as a blessing from your king' the child nods as it was his only saving grace from the harsh cold."

"Upon entering the castle, Burnt Caramel Arrow Cookie shared jealous looks with Fudge Cookie. 'And you must be a nobody?' 'Perhaps I am, what about it?' 'A mere being like you does not deserve to be at the side of the king nor worthy.' Fudge only shared a small smirk before following the king to a small room. It was filled with a mattress, desk, chair and filled with books of spells and incantations. 'This will be your bedroom and also your office.' 'Office?..work?..for what..?' 'Think of it as creating a new religion, child.'"

"Though reluctant, the child still did what he was told. Five months have passed and the women had all given birth to the king's children but the king himself had other plans. 'These children..my heirs..I see none that are worthy. Dispose of them, all of them Burnt Caramel Arrow Cookie.' 'Yes my king.' Fudge overheard this, distraught about the news, but he could do nothing to stop it. He could only go with Burnt Caramel as she slain most of the children, their mothers helpless to stop it. Almost every infant was killed except for one. The child was hidden by their mother but her efforts were futile and ended up with her life cut short."

"Fudge and Burnt Caramel Arrow searched for the hidden infant but to no avail. As Burnt Caramel Arrow begun to leave of his sight, Fudge discovered the child hidden in the cupboards. They were wailing for attention and care but Fudge couldn't just leave the child alone. 'Poor baby, your mother was a brave cookie but sadly she isn't here anymore. I shall raise you as my own.'"

"He looked around, he can't just bring the child into the castle, he'll be instantly spotted and he and the child would be killed. He sighed, 'I'll have to leave you here alone, temporarily, okay? I just have to get some resources for our journey to freedom.' The child whined seemingly in protest but his plan was already finalized. Fudge returned to the castle way past than he was supposed to. 'Hmm...my dear servant, you know it is past the time you were supposed to return, why is that?' '..I'm sorry my king, it won't happen again-' 'You are not answering my inquiry, child' 'I-..I was searching for the infant the woman said she didn't have but I guess she was right, she didn't have one..' 'Is that your excuse? Very well then, you did an extra effort for nothing. Go, you're pardoned.'

Immediately Fudge packed food, clothes, water and a lantern for their travels. Hastily, after everyone was asleep, he rushed toward the home of the infant. They were wailing, and wailing until he felt the soft cold hands of Fudge Cookie. The infant cooing at the sensation and presence of him. Fudge Cookie wrapped the child in a silky soft blanket to keep them warm."

"They crossed the great chocolate walls and into the cold winter forest. The soft crunch of snow with every step, the quiet hush of wind. They've traveled a few miles, they were hungry and tired. Fudge decided to set up camp. The little infant shivering, he rested them onto his chest. 'It'll be just a while before we find a true home' Fudge's voice quivering due to the low temperature. Staring at the sleeping baby, covering them in the thickest sheets of silk. The night pitch black, no stars to see in sight, wolves singing their solemn blues of howls at the moon."

"The next morning, a figure that smelled of blueberry cake loomed over the tent. Looking through its holes, he could see a child and infant sleeping peacefully. The figure was as younger than Fudge only by three years. 'Hey!' They shouted, 'Wake up,it's too cold to sleep out here in this weather!'Fudge soon was startled awake. 'Who..who are you?!' 'My apologies, I am Blueberry Cake Cookie but please, call me Blue Velvet for short.' 'Oh..Im Icecream Fudge Cookie nice to meet you.' 'Same here. Say...what are you two doing out here in this weather? Wait don't answer that question, ill find you somewhere you can stay.' Without hesitation Blue Velvet yanked Icecream Fudge out of his sleeping position and onto his feet. 'Let me hold 'em!' 'Why?' 'You look like you've been through some trouble, so I might as well let your arms rest.' Reluctant, he handed the infant to them."

"They ridden on Blueberry Cake hounds to never before seen areas of Earthbread. The pups wandering every so often, few stops to eat, and the beautiful scenery with each region. 'Alright, we can settle here for the night.' 'Settle here? In the forest? Where vicious animals kill and eat their prey??' 'Calm down, don't let your chocolate melt, it's The Cleansed Forest! All types of friendly creatures live here.' 'Oh sorry, I've never been out in these lands before.' The sweet hum of the wind, the gentle warmth of Cake Hound fur, blanketed by the moon's light. The pups sleeping soundly against their parents. Icecream Fudge Cookie was still wide awake, still worrying about Burnt Cocao and Burnt Caramel Arrow Cookies. Are they hunting him down? Is he a fugitive now? No. Stop. Their not important anymore, he thought to himself."

"Right before sunrise, Blue Velvet waken up the entire group. 'Waky Waky! It's time for-' 'breaky?' 'No I meant it's time to go, so..yeah.' On their way to home, the true home lies a witch, who calls herself Light Enchantress Cookie. She welcomed them with a warm smile and a quiet, gentle voice. 'Ah welcome back Blueberry Cake Cookie, and oh? Have you brought new friends?' Blue Velvet nodded as he stepped aside. 'What is your name, sunshine?' 'Im..Icecream Fudge Cookie, and this little guy is...umm...I dont know his name.' 'Well let's give him one! Hm..Milky Choco Cookie, yes! Now let's get you all inside, you must be starving.'"

"Blue Velvet, Icecream Fudge along with Milky Choco Cookies were taken in and raised by the kind witch. The mission to spread hope and rid the evil of Earthbread and since then, their group had expanded, making progress each day and night, never giving up. The end."

✨️ ————— storytime over—————✨️

"So Healer Mushroom Cookie what'd you think of that story?"

"Z.....z...z.."

"..Healer Mushroom..? Oh! I must've rambled for so long, it tired him out. Well..sweet dreams."

reference

#cookie run kingdom au #dark choco crk #affogato cookie #dark cacao cookie #caramel arrow cookie #red velvet cookie #dark enchantress cookie

[fakeboitherottengirl]

I was diagnosed ODD at 12, so about a half decade before my brief squatting saga (which was less “crashing in an abandoned building” and more “deciding as a collective house to not pay the landlord until he fixed our heat which he never did until we moved out”, but legally i was considered a squatter and didn’t want police attention drawn to the living situation).  And yeah like I said a lifetime of body terrorism including from my eating disordered mother and emotionally abusive father was in the long run more traumatizing than the violation and embarrassment of my assaults and just because I was too drugged to remember the encounter doesnt mean it wasn’t violating and traumatic and horrible thats some soren-tier rape apologist bullshit “oh it must not have been traumatizing because it wasnt violent” like fuck u dude ur literally talking about one of the most traumatizing and personality changing events in my life ur talking about somebody violating my body in the most intimate way possible can you at least afford the subject a LITTLE gravity?  And the CSA I experienced was, outside of the incidents with my soulmate’s family fiend, exclusively from older children and none of the incidents were violent, I didn’t even know anything bad had happened until we learned about it in health class and I was like “what do u mean ur not supposed let people touch u there, lots of people touch me there” and I developed a religious trauma complex around purity and virginity that lasted through my teens.  But being touched in a non-violent way by somebody who tells u they just want to show u how to feel good is very different from finding out that a postal worker in my area has violent rape fantasies about women on his routs and wants a fic where he breaks into all of their houses and rapes then murders them, including their facebook profiles in the request “for appearance reference” and specific details of how he fantasized about killing these real life women (that one I actually did report to a tip line because real women were being involved) or a man claiming to be a teacher asking for a story about making his female students submit to sex with him for protection during a mass shooting. I knew pedophiles were out there, I was literally an underage fetlife “star” pedophilia is an upsetting concept and a horrible crime but my skin had been thickened by my own experiences being groomed and preyed on by  pedophiles all through my teens on fetlife but hearing these everyday unassuming men having these violent fantasies about women especially women in their lives made me feel like any man who cast his gaze upon me wanted to kill me in some horrible way, like there was no telling who was safe.  I wasn’t afraid of pedophiles, they wanted to hurt kids not me, but these sadistic men made me feel like I couldn’t tell who around me was dangerous.  Finally I never said fatphobia is worse than rape, I said the two can’t be compared because one is a single traumatic instance while the other is more of a slow erosion of your humanity and dignity.  Its the difference between ripping a bandaid off and picking at it, its the same amount of pain just distributed over a different timeline.  U cant quantify pain in such an absolute way, especially emotional pain, and just because something is more traumatizing to UR brain doesnt mean the event itself was more traumatic or that another brain might have stored it differently (For example, I have a very strong PTSD reaction to the cartoon Happy Tree Friends for some fucking reason where I don’t respond with typical PTSD symptoms to talking about my rape.  That doesnt mean Happy Tree Friends is worse than rape, just that my heart starts beating weird and i cant breathe when i see that cartoon but I can talk about my sexual trauma in a very matter of fact way because instead of coping with it I just went numb).  But again we are talking about the literal worst things that have ever happened to me I can’t imagine talking about somebody‘s trauma with such callousness.  Am I even a real human being to you or just disembodied text on a screen to scorn and mock?

[haughttopics]

didn’t think i’d be able to wake up in a cold sweat when my room is 27 degrees but turns out a ptsd related nightmare will do the trick

#ended up dozing off this evening because i was exhausted and i had the first nightmare i've had in a lil while #and it's because of my birthday which is soon #one of the worst traumatic incidents i went through with my mother happened on my birthday as a kid #all because i couldn't decide on what i wanted to do that day #ever since then i've generally really struggled with my birthday and it makes me feel weird #it's good to replace bad memories with new good ones but i end up feeling guilty and scared to ask people to do things with me #which is also part of a separate issue i'm still working on in therapy #i end up feeling like i'm just wasting people's time and that they'd rather be anywhere else #i know that's just a projection of my own internal feelings about myself but it's hard to rewrite that after everything that happened #anyway this is what triggered the v surreal nightmare because it's a few days away #and i'm writing these tags because idk how to talk about this to someone directly who isn't my therapist #but i already had my appointment this morning lol #anyway now i'm very aware of the heat again and i hate it

[blogevaawrites]

Keeping to the schedule.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: angst, sad, marriage, divorce, smut

Summary: After seven years of being married, two daughters and a difficult divorce, they try to understand what went wrong and why they let that happen. 

Part I

“I’m so sorry to do this but we’re having problems with a few scenes. I won’t be at home until next week.” He said from the other side of the line. Since the divorce we have been being very strict with the custody agreement of our children.

“So, will you come to pick them up the next Friday?” I asked.

“Yes, I will be there. And again, I’m really sorry, I tried to do everything in my hands” I knew that he doesn’t like to change anything about the kids, he says we should try to give them as much stability as we can. I couldn’t agree more.

“Don’t worry, it’s fine.” I simply said.

We got married seven years ago, we had a happy marriage, but loneliness and exhaustion made me give up on our marriage. He started to spend more time away, accepting more projects in L.A or any part of the world but home. I guess home wasn’t what it used to be for him and for me because eventually I stopped complaining about his absence.

“I need to talk to you.” I said when I saw him getting out of the shower. I closed the door of the bathroom and l leaned on the sink. “About what? I’m kind of tired, can we leave it for tomorrow?” He said, drying himself with a towel. I was sick of it; I was being left to a side for so long that I didn’t hold it on.  “Not really.” He looked at me then, normally I don’t insist. “I filed for divorce.” His face went from confusion to anger quickly.

We fought, he got really mad. I knew I should have talk to him before doing it, but he was never around, I was mad and sad, I wasn’t thinking properly. He didn’t talk to me for four months after that night, he moved to his mother’s house and did everything in his hands to accelerate the process. I know I didn’t deal very well with all of that and either he did. Our relationship since then got even more complicate.

Our obsession with our kids’ stability grew after that. We both knew they were going suffer the most, at least Anna. She was almost six when all of that happened, she asked a few times, but we never gave her an answer she could understand. Emma was only four, she noticed that something was wrong but was too young to assimilate it.  

“Mom, Lindsay is having a sleepover this Thursday, and we don’t have school on Friday, can I go? Her mom will call you tomorrow to ask you, can I go, please?” Anna asked, taking my attention from the road as I drove us to home.

“Sure honey” I said with my eyes on the road.

“Dad is coming on Friday, right? I will tell her mom to bring me back in the morning” she always gets excited to see him, both do it.

“It’s not necessary honey, he probably will come to pick you up after dinner. I will pick you up to get lunch together at the park, what do you think?” she nodded enthusiastic, eating her sandwich.

Thursday comes quickly and Martha, Lindsay’s mom, picked Anna up. Emma got to sleep very early after a long afternoon at the park. I went down to watch a few minutes a TV show before to go to bed. The doorbell rang, startling me, it wasn’t late, but I wasn’t expecting anybody. When I got close to the door, I recognized the silhouette of the person behind the door.

“Hi, what are you doing here?”

“I wrapped the film early, I’m sorry if it is too late but I knew you wouldn’t mind. You can have the entire day to yourself tomorrow, in this way.”

“It’s fine, but Anna is not here, she’s at Lindsay’s house and Emma is already sleeping.” He looked devastated and it broke my heart. He usually doesn’t spent too long without seeing them. “You can see Emma if you want to.” I offered and he accepted quickly. He got into the house and went upstairs to Emma’s room.

After a few minutes, he came down to the kitchen where I was preparing things for tomorrow. I wouldn’t say our relationship was good, o was getting better. it was confusing. “How have you been? How was everything with the kids?” he asked from the doorframe. I turned around to see him and answered, “It was fine, no incidents.” I simply said. We looked each other for a while, we haven’t talk since we had sex the last time, he came to bring the girls back. He stayed for dinner and a while after, the girls went to sleep, we started to talk about them, about our past together, about us a couple. We kissed and one thing took us to another.

“I want to talk about the last time. I don’t want you to think I…” he started; I knew it didn’t mean anything for him, it was just sex, he has been avoiding me since then but him bringing the subject up made me mad and it hurt me a little.

“I know! Don’t worry! Let’s just forget about it.” I said walking to the front door.

“No, it’s just that we were kind of drunk and got emotional.” He started to say without following me.

“It was just sex. I get it! You made it very clear when you couldn’t wait to leave.” As soon as we were done, he got up from the bed and started to dress up. He told me it was late, and he had a thing to do in the morning, but I knew he was lying. He left me, naked in the bed, the one we shared for several years.  

“I didn’t want the girls to get confused.” He got closer to the door, shaking his head, and rubbing his face roughly with his hands.

“You didn’t want me to get confused.” His eyes got bigger, and I could see the anger growing in his face.

“You couldn’t care less about what I wanted so don’t tell me what my intentions were.”

“You made them very clear.”

He looked confused, but he moved quickly. “You always so understanding. But why don’t you just listen to me? I’m trying to …” He couldn’t say anything more.

“You’re right, it’s kind of late and there isn’t a reason for you to stay.” I interrupted him, he looked mad.

He took a deep breath and kept on “I’m picking the kids tomorrow’s morning” he informed me before walking out.

“They won’t be here until late afternoon.” I said back. He looked at me without saying anything and kept on his walking. I stood at the door, looking how he got in the car. He turned on the engine, and before driving away he looked at me through the window. “Thank God we’re divorced.”

When the topic isn’t our kids, it never goes well. I guess we’re still hurt.

I didn’t fully understand why he got so angry until I saw the pictures.

After he picked the girls the next day, I did some work and later I filled a glass with wine and turned on the television to pick up a film to watch but my phone rang.

“Hey hon! How are you doing?” Lily asked, with a worried voice that I didn’t get.

“Hey! Why are you asking like that? I’m pretty fine.” I said laughing.

“Well! I don’t know, I thought you will be kind of sad o maybe angry, if my ex-husband was dating with somebody after not even a year from our divorce, I would be ready to kill him.”

“What? What are you talking about? I mean he hadn’t told me anything, I don’t think he’s dating again.” I said quite confused.

“Shit! You haven’t seen it, have you?”

Right away, I googled him with the call waiting.

Chris Evans is off market again? The former superhero and the upcoming actress Rachel Welles spotted holding hands and getting affectionate.

He was trying to talk about our night together because he was going to tell me about her. I felt my heart shrinking. I guess I should have been ready for this, he was free to be with whoever he wanted but it hurt me.

“I’m sorry, girl. It must be weird and hurtful. If you need anything you know I’m right here, right?” she asked kindly.

“I’m fine. he’s free to be with anybody but I guess I wasn’t as much ready to see it as I thought.”

“Yeah, knowing something isn’t always mean assimilating it, right?”

“Right”

After the call I refilled my glass and went to sleep with a few tears in my cheeks.

Our relationship began so natural, and it went so fast. We met through common friends, we dated just for tree moths after he asked me to move on with him. We didn’t take long to get married either, we both just knew that it was the right decision. I really loved him, and I know he loved me too. It wasn’t a fantasy, but we were grown-ups when he met, we knew what we wanted for life, in a partner and we found it in each other.

He was a great husband, a great father and a great friend. I single tear fell through my cheek, remembering the beginning of our freefall.

“There’s not a good way to say this. I’m really sorry to tell this but, Mrs. Evans you had a miscarriage.” Doctor Lars said. I felt Chris’s hand in my knee, comforting me. I felt I couldn’t breathe. My heart broke in pieces. “But I’m six months pregnant, this usually happens during the first trimester. This can’t be true.” My mouth slurred. “Well, the actual name is a late-miscarriage, there are several things that may play a part in causing it so we need to do a few tests to find a cause. I know this isn’t easy, but these things can happen, and we can’t do anything to prevent it.” I touched my barely swollen belly, missing the movements of my baby. “What are we doing now?” Chris talked, taking care of the situation. “You will need to go through labour to give birth to you baby. I know this can be a very distressing time and you may be in shock but there’s not other way.” I could hear him breathe hardly before kissing my head.

We went through our worst nightmare. I gave birth to a baby I could take care of. Thankfully, after inducing the labour, the birth came quickly. We decided not to hold the baby. We thought it will be less traumatic in that way.

He went with me through all of that, but we changed. Everything changed.

Five days later, I came into our bedroom to see him packing his suitcase.

“What are you doing? I asked softly.

“I need to go to L.A for a few interviews and shoot a few scenes” I looked at him straightly. Not quite believing he was going to leave so early after everything. “Don’t worry, I asked my mother to come to help you with everything.” he said, seeing my expression. I didn’t want to be alone, I didn’t want his mom here, I wanted him. I caressed his back, calling his attention.

“Don’t go, please.” I muttered. “It will be just a couple days, two weeks max.” he said holding me in his arms.

“Two weeks?” that was so fucking long.

“Listen, I can really do anything. I’m sorry but it’s work. What you want me to do?” he tried to reason with me, in vain.

“Call Meghan and ask her to reschedule it. We have an appointment with Doctor Lars next week.” I didn’t like to complain about his job or ask him to not to do it, but I couldn’t go through that alone.

“Everything will be fine, call me after the appointment and tell me what she says. I will be here as soon as I can.” I pushed him away with my eyes watering.

“Okay” for the first time in our life together he was putting his family in a second place.

The worst thing it was that trip didn’t last 2 weeks, but 3 months. He told me that his next project was being moved forward, and nothing else. He left me alone in the worst moment of my life and I couldn’t forget it.  

After a few more glasses of wine, I took me phone and I called him.

“Hello” he said with a surprised voice. “What’s going on?”

“What was what you wanted to tell me last time? Hey, I know we just fuck but I’m actually in a relationship with some else and you must forget about it.” I slurred, mimicking him.

“You know it.” He said, I could hear him moving to another place. I guess he left the house.

“Of course, I do. Do you think I live under a rock?” I wasn’t jealous I was mad at him, at myself.

“Okay I get it you’re mad, but I wanted to talk…”

“What for? To say sorry for fucking me or to ask me to keep back of your new love.”

“No, it’s not like…”

“Why did you leave me? Why wasn’t I your priority anymore? I asked, removing the tears away from my face. My voice broke a few times, I was unable to keep myself still.

“Where are you? Are you drunk?” he asked hurriedly.

“It wasn’t my blame; I couldn’t have known it.” I kept talking.

“What are you talking about?” his voice was full of curiosity and confusion.

“We didn’t name him, he died without a name.” my face was completely wet, my arms were crossed around my stomach and my heart… I couldn’t feel my heart.

“Are you at home? Pease tell me where you are.” He asked desperately.

“Yes, I’m here.” I muttered before hanging up.

A few minutes later I heard the door opening, and his footsteps. I was in completely darkness, no TV, no lights, nothing but somehow, he knew exactly where I was.

“Hey! What’s going on? What happened?” he asked softly, sitting next to me in the half-furnished nursery.

“Why did you leave me?”

“Well, when you wife files for divorce, it’s actually kind of what you have do” he said with a sad smile in his face.

“You left me way before that.” I said quickly, he left me when we lost our baby. “We never talked about him.”

“I don’t think you are in an appropriate state to talk about him.” He said without looking at me.

“I’m fine. Don’t make excuses! You just don’t want to talk about him with me.”

“I don’t want to talk about him with nobody.”

“I’m not nobody.”

“Why is this so important now? It’s been a year since then, we are not together anymore...” he started to get up from the floor.

“You’re dating again…” I finished the sentence off for him “you told me you weren’t ready. You said you missed me, that you missed us.” I said, remembering what he told me when he was taking me to our bedroom between kisses and caresses.

His face looked confused and tired.

“I don’t get it. Why are so upset? You filed for divorce without telling me why, without giving me a chance to make it better. All I know is you felt neglected, but I didn’t do anything wrong. I thought we were just going through a rough patch, but I thought it was normal after all.” His voice was firmed, he wasn’t yelling me, but I bet he wanted. “I know you don’t think this but I’m not the bad guy here.” His eyes were red and watering. He never told me anything of this. He had been too angry to talk to me about anything.

He walked to the door, ready to leave me.

“You left me.” I said, calling his attention.  

“You already said that.” He barked back.  

“When I asked you to stay you left me for almost four months after I gave birth to my death son. I needed you Chris, and you rather work than be with your wife.” His face kept straight; he knew what I was talking about. I got up when I saw him get closer to me. He looked at me for minutes, as he wasn’t sure about his next words.

“I went to therapy. I didn’t come back home because I wasn’t stable, not because I was working, not because I wanted to leave, it was because I didn’t see another way to deal with everything. You were right when you said holding our baby it would be traumatic, it was.” I didn’t understand what he was talking about, we agreed on not to hold the baby when he was born but he cleared all up “I couldn’t help it, I saw him coming out of you as the same way Emma and Anna did. I needed to see him, and it was the worst thing I could have done, but it was my son.” His eyes never left mine when his body got much closer to me. “I lost my son too, honey. I couldn’t be there for you because I wasn’t handling in the right way.” I saw a single tear going down through his cheek. At least I wasn’t the only one crying.

“Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“Because you gave birth to him! How the fucking hell could I have told you I was the one losing his mind after that? I know I should have stayed with you but believe me, there wasn’t another option, I didn’t find another way.”  

#chris evans imagine #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fic #chris evans smut #chris evans fluff #CHRIS EVANS ANGST #chris evans and reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader #chris evans x wife!reader #marriage #divorce #fluff #Smut #angst #sad

[dykefight]

I want to share some of the experiences of my loved ones and myself that started leading me to radical feminism

One of my best friends (currently a 19 year old college student) used to have an onlyfans and currently sells underwear online. She says that the most humiliating moments of her life happened on onlyfans and similar websites. She had guys ask things like would she have sex with her brother, could she cry on camera, or if she would piss herself for them. There were two men she encountered that still make me sick to think about. The worst one was a man who regularly paid for videos of her pretending like she was being raped by him without a condom. She would beg for him to stop, not to impregnate her, and she cried and screamed. She was not allowed to get any pleasure from it or she wouldn’t get paid. The man only found pleasure in the idea of a teenage girl being traumatized and abused. The other man paid her to dominate him over the phone. He wanted her to control every aspect of his life. He was nearly 30 at the time while she was 18. The worst part of this ordeal was that they knew each other from when she was around twelve or thirteen. During this time I watched her mental health rapidly decline. Her poor mental health ended up causing her to quit less than a year after starting her account. Now she sells underwear and the conditions are no better. She’s been asked to sell worn underwear, underwear she’s pissed in, underwear with her period blood in it, and underwear she’s worn while masturbating. She has been masturbating so frequently that her skin over her clit has begun peeling. The idea that this is empowering her as a woman makes me sick. It’s basically a form of self harm. Anytime I mention that she might need to slow down she explodes, ranting about how she loves doing it, how it’s good money, and that it’s her choice. No woman should be brainwashed into that mindset.

Two of my other friends have been coerced by their boyfriends into sex that they didn’t want. One of them was guilt tripped into having anal sex by her boyfriend. She didn’t want to have sex until marriage, which he already knew prior. She said he looked so disappointed that she felt like she had to let him do anal. She also said this was easily one of the most painful experiences of her life. She ended up being pressured into vaginal sex only a few weeks later. Another friend was VERY adamant about saving any kind of sex until marriage. Her boyfriend pretended like this was totally fine until around a year into their relationship. He starting persuading her into giving him handjobs and blowjobs, insisting that they were meaningless acts and no big deal. She complied but still wouldn’t let him do anything sexual to her. Eventually he got impatient and decided to touch her while she was asleep on a school trip. She admits to being scarred from this, but insists that he didn’t mean any harm and that he wouldn’t do it again. In March, they were at a party together and had a fight. My friend is known for being a lightweight. While she was furious and drunk, her boyfriend was barely tipsy. He apparently decided that the best way for her to get over it was to push her into a room and have sex even though she was fully unable to consent. At some point, someone walked into the room, saw them, and told everyone at the party about it, including complete strangers. People still bring it up to her like it’s some funny story. Neither of my friends see anything wrong with their boyfriends or their actions. I, along with mutual friends, have tried to bring it up but they insist that it was a one time thing, their boyfriends didn’t know any better, and that we’re being over dramatic. It hurts me to know that they’re just one of many girls who dismiss sexual assault just because they’ve never been told what is wrong in a sexual relationship.

My mom was raped by my father while they were dating. My mom was raised in a very religious family so she saw premarital sex as one of the ultimate sins. She was okay with everything except penetrative sex. At some point, they were naked together and he saw that as an invitation. She froze up and couldn’t bring herself to stop him. That was how she lost her virginity. It wasn’t until she told me that she realized he raped her and that was only because I told her. She didn’t know she was raped until over 30 years later. She said she always thought she asked for it since she was naked around him and let him get close enough for it. She didn’t know that there are multiple types of rape until much later in life, so she never connected the dots. If she had known, she might’ve been able to save herself from the abusive marriage that followed.

Speaking of my mother and her marriage, she was also taught that getting a divorce was a sin in the eyes of god, especially if the wife initiates it. My mom couldn’t bring herself to divorce him in the beginning and then once she had kids she couldn’t divorce him until she made sure he wouldn’t get joint custody of us. She suffered through 35 years of abuse all because of some bullshit she had forced upon her since she was young. My grandma on my moms side experienced the same thing and wouldn’t divorce my grandfather who cheated on her and had a child with another woman.

These last ones are my own personal experiences. I, like many women, have faced sexual assault multiple times. The first time was when I was 12 and sexually assaulted by my long time family friend who was 15. He was best friends with my cousin who I am very close to so he also became a friend of mine. We also went to the same school. One day the three of us were at my cousins house and I was sharing a blanket with the friend. Under the blanket, he began to brush his hand along my ass which I thought was an accident since we were on a small couch sharing a blanket meant for one person. It soon escalated to him grabbing my ass under my jeans and through my underwear and then cupping my boobs. This was all while my cousin sat five feet away. When I finally got the courage to get out I got a text from the guy begging me not to tell my cousin. It took me nearly a month to tell my family and the school. My family said they would cut all contact with his family and the school said they would make sure I never had to be around him in a school setting. However, almost immediately, my family went back to being friends with his family and my school went back on their promise. Even though the guy confessed and I had the texts as evidence, he faced no real repercussions. Another guy continually harassed me over the course of our freshman, sophomore, and junior year. He’d do things like grab me, slap my ass, stick his hand down my uniform, grind against me during class while I was bent over, and he always found new ways to contact me after being blocked. When I finally told a teacher mid junior year, the way the school “punished” him was by having his football coach talk to him. This is the same football coach that’s known to indirectly slut shame girls in front of everyone. The guys behavior towards me didn’t change so I just gave up. I was never taken seriously when these incidents came to light. Everyone just assumed it was something to brush off. That it’d go away after a gentle scolding. Even my peers who say they’re all about protecting and defending women basically responded with “that sucks” and moved on.

I turned to radical feminism because it’s given me a place to be heard. I can speak my mind. Even if someone doesn’t agree with me, they’ll have a civilized discussion or simply move on rather than start an argument.

#and there’s more obviously #radfem #terf safe #terfs do touch #gender critical #terfs please interact #radical feminism #drop the t #lgb #long post #sorry #mine

[m00nchildthings]

Familliar (revamped with added content)

Authors note: So yall remember the first chapter of familliar? Scrap that hoe this the new one it’s dumb long though 11 pages on Microsoft Word TnT Also @alfmoimagines i remembered to tag you

Content Warnings: Dubious Consent, Virginity Taking, Teratophilia, demon fucking, virgin training? ear fucking(with a tongue i’m not that wild). breeding, creampies, cursing, full nelsons, ruts, and i feel like that is all? Enjoy

Familiars were tricky and malevolent creatures, demons that were so lowly in the castes of hell that they lived life better off in the land of mortals then they would in their own native realm. Not that any of them would be humble enough to admit it though. Most familiars stayed under the care of witches for protection, being incapable of possession made them extremely susceptible to attacks by clergymen. Most lands decreed that any demon living as a witch's charge were free of fear of clergy assault, as long as said witch could manage them. For witches, handling a familiar was a precocious balancing act at best and a near soul threatening experience at the worst, especially during their times of rut. This was when only keeping one familiar in service, which is why so many gave you confused looks when you stated that you kept not one but two under your gifted hand.

 Izuku was your first familiar, a small token gifted to you by your mother the eve before you set off to live yourself as every young witch does when they hit that special age. A small rabbit daemon, one of the easiest to handle, was her gift to you. His eyes were a clear emerald and his pelt a slick black that shone green whenever the moonlight encased him. He was a very helpful familiar as far as they went and you were very appreciative of the fact. After near hermiting yourself away in a decent size hut not too far from a village, you found Izuku to be a very beneficial part of your day to day life. Whenever you were off in the town square buying food and supplies for the week you could always count on Izuku to scamper off and find you roots and herbs for your potion. Or in his human form he would help you around the house cleaning and organizing your books for you. He even seemed interested in your craft, helping you with concocting potions and studying spells.

 Now handling Izuku was fairly easy, at least in comparison to the horror stories you heard, during his roots. All it took was a snug leather collar with a calming charm placed on it to keep him from humping anything within a five-foot radius (including you.) Throw in some romance novels of yours for him to read and staying out late at taverns to give him alone time with his hand and Izuku was fairly decent to stand. You just had to make sure to ignore his eyes on you at night as you slept.

 The second familiar you kept was very different to your snuffly little Zuzu. Katsuki as he went by was an absolute brat that wasn’t grateful for anything you had done for him whatsoever.  It had only been a few months since you had found him after leaving the local butcher to make your way home to Izuku. A group of kids were toying with the poor battered creature, a pure white canine with a clergy trap biting into his ankle blood matting his fur. After shooing away the little bastards you pried open the chat wincing as the teeth of the trap sliced your fingers. He stared up at you with one big red eye before groaning and going limp. You took the poor thing home and cleaned his wounds shoving Izuku away as he came to snuff around the new daemon. For the first few days Katsuki was fine to be around, as his wounds healed, he mostly rested, coming in and out of sleep as he gained back his strength. He was quiet and agreeable letting you bathe him to redress his wounds and even crooning as you held his head to feed him. This calm quiet Katsuki lasted for exactly for the first week he lived in your small home.

 The moment he regained his strength it became apparent what a brute Katsuki was as he uprooted your life from its regular calm feeling. Whenever you went out to gather supplies you returned home to find your Izuku cowering in the corner and Katsuki standing in the middle of your ruined living room, smoke billowing off of your singed furniture. He constantly berated Izuku, cursing and complaining about every little thing he could find. He constantly picked fights with Izuku it wasn’t an uncommon sight to come home to find Katsuki pinning Izuku to the ground as your poor bunny kicked at his tummy trying to worm from your grasp. It got to the point that you would have to keep him chained in the cellar and bring Izuku out with you as your familiar refused to be left alone with Katsuki. As ever docile as he was you found Izuku complaining about keeping him around.

 “Mistress,” he whined walking beside you in the town square “why must we keep him with us he’s rude and aggressive and has only made life harder for us since you took him in.” 

 “Zuzu,” you scolded “you know very well why we can’t just throw him out, the clergy would get to him, besides, he’s probably just defensive being in a new environment after such a traumatic experience, we have to be patient with him.”

 “But he’s so disruptive,” Izuku huffed crossing his arms as you stopped by a fruit vendor “he’s taking up so much of your time, you don’t have time to practice, time for me- “

 “Time for you?” you raised an eyebrow placing a few plums into your satchel, paying the vendor and walking away “perhaps your annoyance comes less from our new friends’ unruly nature and more from a place of, dare I say it, jealousy?”

 “I’m not jealous of him!” Izuku exclaimed red smattering underneath his freckles “I’m worried about you, mistress,”

 “And why is that Zuzu?”

 “Rutting season is coming, and if this is how he acts on the regular, imagine how he’ll be during his time,” he turned to you placing a hand on your arm “you might not be safe mistress,”

 You paused mulling over what your familiar had said eyebrows furrowing, he wasn’t wrong. You had grown comfortable with keeping a familiar with easily suppressed ruts, cat daemons were notoriously known for having aggressive ruts. You had overheard a friend of your mothers as she stopped by from afternoon tea, confiding in your mother that her own cat daemon had been so difficult she had no choice to put aside her pride and pull down her panties to keep peace in her house. It was seen as very taboo for a witch to lay with her familiar, shameful even, to be seduced in the bedroom by such a lowly daemon. You yourself had been worried about what would happen when rut time would come with your new household member to worry over.

 “Don’t worry my fluffy little companion,” you placed a hand on his cheeks smiling as his eyes closed and he nuzzled into your palm “I’ll be fine, you should worry about how you’ll be dealing with your time of the year,”

                                        ……………………………………….

It had been about nearly a week since you and Izuku had your little conversation, and you had begun to notice the signs of rut season in your daemons. Izuku was becoming much more grating constantly moving around your stuff in your room rubbing against everything and even snapping back at Katsuki when he would try to intimidate him. Katsuki became the exact opposite of his usual self, at least towards you. He would stalk you silently through your own home eyeing you like prey as you sat reading in your armchair. It had gotten to the point where you would step out of your bath to find Katsuki waiting outside your washroom nostrils flared as he stared down at you, pupils slit. You almost felt scared in your own home, almost. You had two daemons about to reach a sexual peak and you were only fairly sure you could keep one of them in check. This especially became apparent to you one day as you were working on charming Izuku’s heat collar.

 “That won’t work on a daemon like me you know,” Katsuki had grunted from across your kitchenette “I’m twice as fucking powerful at that little runt you keep running after you,”

 “Well what do you suggest I do to make this time easier for you Katsuki,” you say not looking up from your work “did you not have a witch before me to help you through these times?”

 “Yes,” he said pacing closer to you as you worked rubbing the salve into the leather.

 “Well what did she do Kats- “you paused at the hot wet feeling of breath on the back of your neck, his toned arms came to rest on either side of you. Your body seized as you felt his nose bury into your hair and take a deep inhale.

 “She was a good little witch and let me fuck her cunt till I was through,” your eyes widened as you turned your head to stare at him. His red eyes bore into yours as a lecherous grin spread across your face.

 “Come on,” he said leaning down to rub his nose against your cheek “little witches like you act like prudes till you got a big fat daemon cock in your face, let’s just skip the theatrics and get to the part where I’m balls deep in that little witch cunt of yours,” he groaned throatily pressing his hips into you. You shuddered feeling his massive print against your back wondering what it would feel like to have it pressed inside your-

 “Mistress” you heard Izuku’s voice cold and unnervingly steady from across the room, your eyes shot over to Izuku who eyes were glued onto you and Katsuki. You immediately regained your composure pushing Katsuki away from you. Izuku kept his eyes trained on Katsuki glaring at him as you made your way over to him collar in hand. He took it from you when you offered it to him, but his eyes didn’t leave his fellow daemon.

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 It had been a few days since the incident in the kitchen, spring was coming in and the tension in your household was so palpable you could carve it with a knife. Izuku stuck to you like a barnacle to a ship and Katsuki was never too far behind. It had come to the point that you had begun to hex your door locked, not even allowing your little Zuzu to sleep at the end of your bed. It had been on one of those locked door nights when an interesting discussion occurred between Izuku and Katsuki.

“You know Deku, you’re pretty fucking pathetic, you know that right?” Katsuki said sprawled out over your couch eyes glowing crimson in the moonlight lit room.

 “Shut up Kacchan,” Izuku grumbled, awkwardly curled up in your armchair broad arms hugging his haunches and leather collar tight around his neck, ignoring him Katsuki continued.

 “I mean how long have you been in service to her, how many springs have passed with you jacking into your own fist like a fucking loser, what you think if you’re a good enough pet she’ll let you hump her leg or something?” Katsuki asked picking with his claws at a piece of cotton sticking out of the arm of the suede couch.

 “I don’t know how you and your previous witch worked but y/n and I do not have a relationship like that, she is my mistress and I am her grateful servant, nothing more nothing less,” Izuku huffed tucking into himself even further.

 “Get off your damn high horse, you’re how old now, and never once went through a rut without just your own hand?” Katsuki sucked his teeth and turned to his brethren, red eyes glowing inhuman in the moonlight “you and me together we could probably convince her to give us a hole each,”

 “Kacchan don’t be lewd,” Izuku said sitting up in the chair to glare over his shoulder at Katsuki, who barked out a laugh standing up and uncharacteristically, placed a clawed hand gently on Izuku’s face thumb brushing his cheek.

 “Come on little bunbun,” he rasped a wicked gleam in his eyes “don’t you wanna get your dick wet tonight?”

                       ………………………………………………

 It had been fairly quiet that night, a few growled whispers from your living room but overall quiet compared to usual. Though worries of Katsuki’s impending rut had plagued your brain, worrying if the collar you had made for him would stick, you had been resting peacefully for the majority of the night. Until a loud rapping noise pulled you from out of your slumber. Your eyes opened face twisting in worry as your sat up throwing off your bedsheets.

 “Who is it?”

 “Mistress, it’s me,” your body relaxed as you heard your bunny’s’ voice from outside your bedroom door.

 “What is it Zuzu?” you asked standing slowly, nightgown flowing down your legs.

 “I- I can’t sleep, I know my ruts started, but can I just spend one more night with you, please mistress?” your heart lurched for your boy, his ruts as easily managed as they were, were still hard for him.

 “Ok Zuzu,” you chuckled unlatching one of your locks “for you anything my- “

You felt a hand around your throat before you could finish your sentence, you had expected a pair of pure emerald green eyes to meet your, but you were instead met with scarlet. You were quiet as you were pushed back towards your bed by Katsuki refusing to break eye contact with him as you were forced to plop down on your bed. You stared at the both of them, the collars you had spent so long on were removed from their necks, of course, you had never had to worry about putting on a charm to keep Izuku and Katsuki from taking off their own collar, you hadn’t even thought of the two joining forces.

 “Izuku,” you said turning to find him just behind Katsuki nervously staring down at you, biting at his lower lip “what is the meaning of this?”

 “Mistress I-I can explain- “

 “Then explain yourself!” you snapped watching his looming figure begin to shake and quiver at your tone, you figured if you could get one to balk on their advance the other would be soon to follow. Besides, if the two of them would start to ravish you in their lust filled rut induced haze, you wouldn’t want them to stop, and that thought scared you.

 “Hey, don’t take that tone with us shitty witch,” Katsuki said grabbing your jaw and leaning down till you were eye to eye, invading your space “we’re just the two demons who are gonna take out that stick you got shoved so far up your ass, if you let us,”

 “And pray tell, why would I do that?” you ask folding your arms. Katsuki smirked, and stood up to his full height, before shoving Izuku to you. He landed on top of you wide eyed and red face, the moment your hands pressed against his chest you felt his entire demeanor change. His eyelids begin to droop and his breathing became uneven as his body began to sag pressing into you. His rut had come in fully.

 “M-mistress,” he mumbled eyes darting lazily between your lips and your eyes unsure of which to focus on. Choosing to ignore both he instead pressed his nose into your neck nuzzling you and inhaling your smell moaning dreamily. His wet tongue poked out laying small little kitten licks on you quickly turning to open mouth kisses sucking at your neck.

 “Look at him little witch,” grabbing hold of your hair turning your eyes to him as you tried in vain to push off Izuku “you’ve turned him into a needy little bitch hanging off you for the barest scrap of emotion, you must have known how badly he wanted to fuck that cunt of yours,”

 “It’s true mistress,” Izuku said droopily pulling off trying to cover your neck in his saliva “I want you all the time you’re so amazing, so smart, so powerful, I just want to make you feel good ma’am,” he chirruped loudly staring down at you like you put the stars in the sky. He shifted and you can feel his cock hard and throbbing against your leg. Your face heated as he began rutting against you, he moved to give the same treatment he gave your neck to your chin. You couldn’t lie, it felt good you thought as you bit your lip to stifle a moan.

 “T-this is wrong,” you stuttered as Izuku trailed down sucking on your nipples through your nightgown leaving dark wet spots on the pale silk.

“Is it really,” Katsuki snickered grabbing Izuku by the hair. He moaned in distaste as Katsuki pulled him off of you “don’t complain just yet rabbit, you get to do the most important part, hold her from behind,”

 “Izuku please,” you huff as he wraps his burly arms around yours pulling you close so Bakugou can get to your panties easier “you’re better than this bunny” Midoriya pouts staring down at you with those big green eyes.

“Please mistress, I’m always so good for you right, I never try to run away, and I always help you even when you don’t ask” he pauses for a  second to moan as his hips rut into your ass a few times and then move in close to your ear “the least you can do is let me make love to you mistress I promise I’ll make you feel good,”

“HAH,” Bakugou barks out a cruel laugh from his place in front of view finally managing to rip off your panties “a daemon can’t make love to a witch Deku, but we can fuck them senseless,” he grins lecherously as he pushes a finger inside your cunt already moist from their actions “because as high and mighty as witch bitch might be they all turn into slobbering whores the moment you get your dick in them they’ll beg for it you’ll see.’’

Midoriya groaned, now humping at your naked ass seemingly pleased with that visual image Bakugou had given him, thick cock dragging and leaking precum on your skin. He buried his face in your shoulder softly sucking a spot into your skin as his hands trailed down until his fingers found your clit.

“I read in one of your books that this feels good for girls,” he says swiping back in forth lightly tugging against the hood of your clit as if searching “there’s supposed to be a little “pearl” here, right, it’ll make you go feel good right mistress, I wanna make you feel good,” he croons as his fingers succeed in revealing your clit to the cool bedroom air. He lets out a little happy chirp bringing his other hand down to rub small hard circles on it and you choke eyes crossing at your sensitive nub being played with. Bakugou tsks, sucking his teeth as he watches you pay more attention to the damn bunny daemon then him.

“Hey shitty witch,” he grabs your hair and tugs forcing you to look at him through your pleasure induced haze “don’t get too wet over your little rabbit it’s gonna be my fucking dick in you so pay attention,” he leans forward swiping his rough tongue over your shoulder before biting down groaning as the skin broke and the coppery taste of blood began to fill his mouth, dick jumping at your pained squeals.

“Kacchan be nice it’s her first time,” Midoriya scolds moving one of his hands to pat at your head trying to soothe you “you have to be gentle on a girls first time,” Bakugou groans rolling his eyes before letting your shoulder go and lapping at the little pinpricks of red still there.

           “It’s not my fault she’s too prudish to have gotten human dick before we jumped her,” he grumbles and adds another finger to your slick cunt scissoring to loosen you up for them “don’t expect me to be gentle when I get in here either I’m gonna destroy this little cunt of yours shitty witch,” he growls and adds a third finger curling up into a spot that has you seeing stars and chuckles as he watches your hips start to try to ride his hand.

 You try to hold it back but soft pitiful moans leave your lips, eagerly swallowed up by Izuku as he goes to kiss you sloppily shoving his tongue down your throat. Between Katsuki’s rough thick fingers pistoning into you and Izuku playing with your clit while simultaneously sucking your tongue into his mouth it isn’t long before you feel a tug in your abdomen that quickly turns into a pee like sensation as you cum, squirting all over Katsuki’s hand. He groans speeding up to see your squirt spray as Izuku soothes you pulling away from you to gently massage at your breast and kiss along your neck. Katsuki frowned watching the way Izuku fawned over you, taking all your attention. He sucked his teeth before grabbing you and pulling you close.

 “C’mere, be a good little witch and spread those legs for me,” he growled staring into your eyes as you gulped at his words.

 “Katsuki no,” Izuku said grabbing you and pulling you away “it should be me who gets her first you’re too rough,”

 “I’d like to see you try fucking rabbit,” Katsuki grabbed your hips dragging you till your crotch pressed against his and you could feel his print through his trousers “Your virgin ass would probably only last two pumps before you come in her,” There was a palpable moment in which your room seemed to pulse with Katsuki’s challenge as the two daemons stared each other down over you. You knew that it was up to you to pacify the situation.

 “Wait, wait,” you say sitting up as both their eyes immediately dart to you, you place a hand on Katsuki’s chest “you should at least allow me to choose which of you is first,” You see Katsuki smirk and roll your eyes mentally at his arrogance.

 “Ok then little witch,” he grabs your chin in his hand before pulling you into a domineering kiss, much more practiced than Izuku, rolling his tongue with yours before biting and pulling your lip “you pick.”

 You pull back from Katsuki admittedly shaken by his lustful kiss as you kneel between the two daemons trying to figure who you would want to take you first. On one hand you were more comfortable with Izuku, you knew he would be kind and gentle with you as new to all this as you were. But despite Katsuki’s dominating nature he was more experienced, and you have no doubt that he would take the reins if you let him, as you were rather inexperienced in comparison. The air was tangible in the moment of you deciding.

 “I choose Izuku,” you say. Izuku visibly brightens and shuffles closer to you as Bakugou growls scooching over to the headboard. You helped Izuku take off your nightgown fully as his hands shook with eagerness when he tried.

When the offending garment was finally off Izuku stared down at you wide eyed and all smiles taking in your naked body. His hands reached out slowly trailing over your body, over every curve and dip leaving goosebumps in their wake, before resting on your ass. He cupped a cheek in each hand and pulled you up until your rested on his thighs legs wrapping around his waist. You blushed as you felt his cock press against your stomach, thick in ways that made you tremble in fear or anticipation you couldn’t tell.

 “Shh Shh mistress,” he maneuvered you again until you were on your back and he loomed over you as he leaned down “it’s my first time too we’ll be each other’s first.”

 “God are you gonna fuck her or fuck around Deku?” Katsuki growled from his spot next to you by the headboard dick in hand. Midoriya huffed angrily before turning back to you.

He kissed lovingly at the column of your throat stroking your thighs before spreading them practically cooing at the sight of your virgin cunt glistening with your arousal.

           He grabbed one of your legs wrapping it around his waist as he clumsily fumbled with his member until the tip pressed against your twitching hole. Your breath hitched and your face screwed up tight as the head of his cock caught on your clenching entrance, your Zuzus back hunched as he slid just a fraction into your tight heat shuddering breaths fanning your face as he fought the urge to slam into you. It was unpleasant and foreign feeling the stretch of his cock as he slowly pressed into you, a burning sensation that had you clawing at his back and clenching down on the intrusive member spearing into you.

             “P-please y/n, you’re too tight I- I can’t,” his hot breath filled your space as he paused his breach of your too snug pussy. A rough hand grabs at your jaw directing your attention to Katsuki as he glowers down at you.

             “You need to relax dumbass, if you keep clenching down he won’t be able to push it in all the way,”

 “It isn’t in all the way in yet,” you whimpered, squinted one eye open you looked down to see that only half of Izuku’s cock was inside of you, a good portion of it sitting outside of you.

 “Fucking virgins,” Katsuki growled snapping his fingers at Izuku “you gotta get her to relax, kiss her or something touch her other sensitive parts,”

Midoriya nodded sharply before smashing his lips to yours messily moving his lips against your and knocking your teeth together before Katsuki grabbed his neck dragging him away from the sloppy kiss.

           “Jesus do I have to show you how to do everything dumbass,” Katsuki grunted at an irritated Izuku, annoyed at being interrupted.

           “Katsuki stop butting in-“he’s cut off when Katsuki’s lips press against his own, you watch as the cat daemon showed Izuku what a proper kiss was. Their lips moved together Katsuki pulling out little moans from your Zuzu when he bit his lips demanding entrance to his wet mouth before sliding his rough tongue in. Izuku shuddered wide eyed, cock pulsing inside you as Katsuki’s tongue danced with his own until he pulled away a thin trail of saliva breaking of from the corners of their mouths.

           “That’s how you’re supposed to kiss dumbass,” his rough hands cupped Izuku’s jaw jerking his head to you “now kiss her that way,”

           Izuku again bent down to kiss you, but this time with more tact, your lips moved together more gently and his tongue kitten licked at your bottom lip as opened your mouth tongue immediately running over your mouth as if trying to taste you. A pair of rough fingers began to circle your clit, Izuku’s or Katsuki’s you weren’t sure, but the stimulation of your little nub had you groaning into the kiss legs relaxing around Izuku and wrapping around his waist as he slowly slid the rest of his girth into you. It was a burning deep within you now, not the tearing feeling from before, but a satisfying stretching that had you sucking on Izuku’s invasive tongue as the both of you moaned into each other’s mouths. Finally with a small circulation of his hips Izuku sat snugly inside of your of warm wet cunt he breathed heavily breaking away from the kiss to loom over you, eyes lidded with lust he stared down at you debauched expression not knowing how to handle the feeling of being filled to the brim with a throbbing hot daemon cock.

           “You, you feel amazing mistress,” he groaned clumsily circling his hips into you, your breath caught at the foreign feeling as he his hips rabbited into you, quickly little juts that barely made room between where his thighs pressed into your soft bottom. Behind him you heard Katsuki suck his teeth, clearly unimpressed with Izuku’s method of humping into you, you watched as he grabbed Izuku’s hips biting the rabbit daemon’s sensitive ears. He pulled his hips back ignoring Izuku’s moans as he was dragged out of your clenching cunt wanting nothing more than to thrust back in and snuggle fuck into your intoxicating pussy.

           “No tact whatsoever,” Katsuki growled pulling on the lobe he held in his teeth “no idea how to fuck a pussy, and I though little bunnies like you were supposed to be good at fucking, figures I’d have to show you how to do this to,”

           Katsuki slowly guided Izuku’s hips in and out of you dragging his cock nearly all the way out till the tip caught on your drooling entrance and smoothly sliding it back in angling it so that he knew that spot deep within your gummy walls was graciously caressed. Your back arched off the bed as you moaned hands reaching out for either but ultimately catching on Izuku, nails leaving crescent marks on his biceps and back. His head fell to your neck mouthing there as Katsuki slowly released his hips as he found the rhythm Katsuki had shown him, Katsuki’s hand rested instead rested on Izuku’s freckled behind putting him back on track whenever he lost the beat.

           “That’s it rabbit,” he said guiding him to pick up the pace “give that pussy a good fuck and you’ll have that witch on all fours for you,”

           Izuku got the picture as he pulled up leaving purpling marks on your skin and ignoring the way you whined missing the feel of his weight pressing into you. Instead he grabbed your legs pulling out shuddering as your hole clenched desperately trying to keep him inside. He grabbed your waist flipping you over onto your hands and knees before sliding into you with a fluidity that had your upper half sinking into your pillows. He groaned hands grabbing your sides in a tight grip using his handle on your hips to drag you back to him, as the new position had him so deep in you you found yourself trying to crawl away from him. A sharp clawed hand grabbed your hair jerking you still as Katsuki leaned in close.

           “Stop fucking running witch,” behind you you heard Izuku moan at the sight of Katsuki manhandling you as he jackhammered his cock deep into you kissing your gummy cervix with every thrust.

           “So, so guh mishtress,” his words slurred he threw his head back now fully lost in the throws of his rut “squeezing me uuhhn tight fuckin’ pussy ‘round my cock,” he groaned hips picking up pace. Katsuki moved his hand to play with your painfully sensitive clit the attention causing your legs to tense you came around the cock fucking deep into you, spraying your own cum over the bed with each thrust of Izuku’s cock.

           “Holy shit,” Katsuki breathed biting his own lip in anticipation as he watched you get fucked through your squirting orgasm “you better hurry up rabbit I want my turn,”

           “I’m almost, almost-,” Izuku grunted hunching over you as his hips lost their tune humping sporadically into your still spraying cunt “Cuuhhhmmmiinnng,” he pressed in deep one final time head pressed to your cervix opening pumping your womb full of his heady spunk till it spilled out from you. You both shuddered, you at the feeling of being pumped full for the first time and him at the feeling of having a cunt accept his load for the first time.

           “Damn,” Katsuki said, watching Izuku pull out of you his spunk following suit when his soft cock fully slipped out. Izuku bent down immediately licking his spunk back into your trembling cunt as you whined trying to wriggle away from his prodding tongue on your sensitive cunt. Izuku whimpered as Katsuki grabbed a handful of his curly emerald locks pulling him away from your poor tired cunt before scooping you up in his arms positioning you till you both rested against your pillows and headboard. Your pussy, throbbing and puffy from the pounding it just took jumped as Katsuki slapped his cock up against it, the angry red tip dripping pre on your abdomen. You whimpered squirming away from the pleasure that was already too much.

           “Don’t think about trying to run away from me witch,” he slowly pressed into you before his arms came under your limp thighs pulling them up to your chest and locking them in position as his hands slipped behind your head “not like you’ll be able to though,”

           His planted his feet firmly on your mattress gripping the blanket with his toes before thrusting up, you choked, eyes crossing as his cock seemed to press into every oversensitive spot of your walls. You felt his wet lips latch onto your lobe tongue slipping into your ear lathing slow strokes matching the maddening strokes that his cock dug into your pussy. Futilely your hands pressed into his thighs trying to cease his pumping hips, you heard him chuckle hot breath fanning your ear around the tongue that delved deep into it. You couldn’t make a noise, could barely breath as Katsuki seemed to dig out all thought of anything besides his throbbing cock claiming your greedy pussy that desperately latched on to the pleasure that drove your brain stupid.

Midoriya groaned watching your cunt cream around Katsuki’s cock leaving bubbly rings of tantalizing white that had him licking his lips. He leaned down licking a stripe up Katsuki’s cock till his tongue pressed the mixture of all three of your combined messes into your clit. He wrapped his lips around the nub and sucked. You screamed, the first sound your had truly been able to make since Katsuki had entered you, piercing and long like a banshee that had Katsuki leaving your ear alone to laugh at you, laugh at the dumb little witch fucked even more stupid on his cock. Damn, the old crone that had him before wasn’t even this good a fuck he thought as he began to piston his hips into you feeling his own end creeping on him between your cunt seemingly try to strangle his cock and Izuku’s tongue lapping at your joined sexes.

Without any warning you came moaning and thrashing as much as you could in the full nelson Katsuki had you in, squirting again against the tongue that seemed to be molded stuck to your clit. Katsuki cursed as his feet pressed deeper into the bed hips stuttering up into you as he came, your cunt pumped full for the second time that night with daemon spunk, Izuku finally pulled away from you face dripping in your squirt as he bent down to kiss while Katsuki’s thrust slowed to stop. He released you from your position breathing heavily while you fell forward into Izuku’s arms legs shaking and cock drunk.

“There there mistress,” Izuku cooed, you lazily stared up at his and his eyes seemed to glow an almost sinister green in the moonlight “It’s my turn again and I promise to be gentle,”

You gulped backing up only to be met with Katsuki’s already hardening cock glide under your still dripping pussy. Izuku chuckled gleefully as he shuffled forward his own dick nudging at your poor abused clit. Katsuki growled pinning your arms to your sides before licking a long stripe up your still wet ear.

           “I think you mean that it’s both of our turn rabbit,”

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha midoriya #midoriya izuku #midoriya x reader #bnha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katsuki x reader #demon!midroriya #demon!bakugou #bnha smut

[lovesanmotion]

mafia!ateez reacts: comforting s/o with ptsd

💌 This is: Requested

[!] To those who are curious, PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a mental health condition that is caused by a traumatic or terrifying event - either witnessing or experiencing it. A few examples of it are: childbirth experiences (losing a baby), serious accidents, war and conflict, torture, being kidnapped or held hostage and seeing other people get killed before you.

Taglist: @yunhobabygurl

Hongjoong:

You felt like a failure, not only to yourself, but to your in laws as well. Three years after your marriage, they were already expecting a heir. At first, Hongjoong would lie and say that he is too busy to go back home and sleeps in his warehouse, but the longer he lies, the more he lacks reasons. You, on the other hand, tried your best to do everything just to be blessed with a child. You went to various temples and recited prayers, lit up incense sticks and performed rituals. You consulted love doctors to know which positions is best to have a baby, ate organs of various animals and countless made love with Hongjoong during the full moon. But all those efforts became vain when you would still get your monthly period.

You would cry to yourself while looking at the baby gifts your friends and his closest friends gave you. You couldn't bare any insult thrown at you by his mother or his father. The sight of them alone already gives you anxiety. Amidst of your crying, a pair of arms would wrap around you from behind and engulf you into a hug.

"We'll get through this together" Hongjoong says, resting his chin on your shoulder while caressing your stomach.

Seonghwa:

Even though Seonghwa had given the enemy group the five hundred grand, they still had a little time to have fun with you. While Seonghwa and his men were on their way to claim you, the men and their boss made you watch them kill the lives of innocent adults and children. If you look away, they would stab you. And if you closed your eyes, they would stab you but ten times more.

Days after the incident, you found it hard to look at anything that is red and sharp objects immediately triggered you. Upon the sight of a cutlery knife once sent you to tears and a sobbing mess while Seonghwa catches you in his arms. Seonghwa had ordered all the maids to hide anything sharp and pointy and discard anything red that they have and replace it with any color. Whenever you cried, Seonghwa would take you in his arms and bury your face on his chest. Neverminding how your tears would soak his button down shirt.

Yunho:

When Yunho refused to give in to the enemy group, they held hostage someone very dear to him. You. They had locked you up in a room inside their warehouse, the room didn't have anything except a hanging light and a chair you're currently bounded in. While the enemy group was waiting for Yunho, a female members of their entertained your room. Fearing the worst, she started throwing punches at your stomach as if you were a punching bag. When she learned that Yunho and his men arrived, she gave one last punch and that is to your jaw and falling down on the ground.

The aftermath of the horrific event paid a price to you. Whenever someone tried to get close or lay a hand on you, you would immediately scream and run away from them, raising your arms around yourself in a defensive position. This was especially hard for Yunho since he wanted to comfort you by having you in his arms, but couldn't due to your new fear of being touched. With this, he signed you up for therapy and bought the prescribed medication your therapist had given. And as you undergo therapy, Yunho would be delighted to make you your breakfast, send you gifts and place them inside your room and leave you love letters on top of your bed table. Hoping that one day, you would be able to overcome it.

Yeosang:

When the enemy group learned about you, Yeosang did not hesitate to get you into hiding. Immediately ordering four of his men to get the helicopter and locate you to a secret island, but on the way, the skies became grey and foggy, Yeosang on the other end of the intercom monitored your safety, following you in a ship in the waters. However, the line started to disrupt until he heard your screams and multiple gunshots. He took off the headset and stared up in the skies where he could make out the figure of the helicopter about to crash down.

The helicopter carried five people, including you. And it so happens that it was only you who survived the accident. You weren't facing anything serious, just a few scratches here and there, but whenever you heard loud sounds such as banging and ringing, you would immediately jump in your spot and your hands would automatically hold onto him. Yeosang would comfort you by holding your hand and caressing it gently with his. While doing so, he would do breathing exercises with you, it was simple but effective.

San:

When San managed to hide you underneath his desk, you couldn't help but overhear their conversation. Though nothing what they were talking about made sense to you, what stood and stuck inside your head were the words "If possible, I would have killed you with my bare hands right now and watch as the color in your skin fade into purple and blue." left you hanging and pondering over it.

And ever since that day, you couldn't look at San in the eyes anymore. You once tried to, but your mind played tricks and you saw how his lips turned into purple. It came to a point where you find it hard to sleep at night because the image of him being dead would be the first thing to greet you as your eyes closed. San would everything in his power to get rid of your disorder, but most importantly, he would also pay attention to what you feel about his lifestyle because, without denying it, it was him who brought you into this.

Mingi:

The sound of gunshots and bombs rang all over your ears, you swear you could lose your sense of hearing already. Bodies lying down on the ground, unmoving and still. You wondered how could he face this kind of scenario everyday. You tried to get away when a bomb exploded near you, causing you to fall on the ground, losing consciousness.

A few days after the terrifying event, Mingi observed how you became startled and frightened at the sounds of loud ringing, how you would zone out of yourself and sometimes, feel detached. Mingi swears that you're physically with him, but mentally somewhere else. He knew that after witnessing something so terrifying would cause you this, and that is why Mingi had you signed up for cognitive therapy. Hoping that your mind would bury the past events and be able to help you overcome it.

Wooyoung:

It had not only happened once, but it happened twice already. You've lost two of your unborn babies while giving a heir that would soon inherit Wooyoung's business. The loss of your children brought you great stress to yourself emotionally and physically that your health started to decline and your hair slowly started to grow white in your middle twenties.

When Wooyoung learned all of this, he gave the maids an indefinite vacation. One wherein he told them to rest and eat good food while he took his time taking care of you. Before leaving, the maids wished the young madam (aka you) a goodluck and speedy recovery. And in the succeeding days, Wooyoung would get up early and prepare everything for you. After that, he would go on long walks with you in the garden and pick flowers and make flower crowns. He wanted to divert your mind and away from all the negative you were thinking of. And he also took a mental note to dye your white hairs.

Jongho:

Before Jongho came to your rescue, you were placed inside a large fish tank with chains around your ankles and arms. Not understanding what you were doing inside at first until you felt the cold water at your feet. Finally realizing what was going to happen to you, you kept banging your hands on the screen of the tank, yelling that someone would hopefully hear you. Fear would slowly start to get you as soon as the water rises to your knees, it was useless to climb out with both of your hands tied. Slowly, the waters dangerously increased until they reached your waist. You were already floating in the water and the coldness starting raising the hairs in your arms. You tried screaming for help, particularly screaming Jongho's name. But your pleas were answered by nothing. And as the waters reached to your neck, you tilted your head up to give you more oxygen. Until slowly, the waters fully engulfed you. You held your breath before you could be succumbed, but it wasn't enough as a few minutes later, your body started to jerk and your head moving front and back and slowly, your eyelids closing down on you and your eyes rolling back.

Jongho was quick to saving you. After closing your eyes, he was able to break the human sized tank and caught you in his arms. Laying you down on the nearest surface he could find and then performing CPR on you. But even though he saved you from near death, he noticed how you would avoid taking baths and not coming out of the house when it was raining. He knew that the past event caused you to like this. At first, he tried to convince you to watch the rain with him, but you disagreed. Whenever you would take a shower, Jongho would have to be inside with you. In every step, Jongho would be there for you to overcome your fear and be able to face the waters once more.

#ateez reactions #ateez mingi #ateez hongjoong #ateez yeosang #ateez wooyoung #ateez yunho #ateez jongho #ateez san #ateez seonghwa #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #ateez x you #ateez x y/n #ateez angst #song mingi #kim hongjoong #kang yeosang #jung wooyoung #jeong yunho #choi jongho #choi san #park seonghwa #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines

[artsy0wl]

My Son (A New Teen Titans Fic)

So I have a headcanon or two for Joey “Jericho” Wilson. One being that, due to his childhood trauma, he as PTSD. I actually made a series elsewhere where I discuss how each Titan would react to it.

I also had a little fic series planned out about Slade visiting Joey during the night since he couldn’t during the day (due to work and Adeline). It was a 5 + 1, but as it went on, it felt a hit repetative and I really wamted to do the last one where Slade gets caught. By Nightwing of all people. And they decide to have a talk.

It’s a fun little project that I thought ya’ll might enjoy.

It had been two months since Joey had joined the Titans, and two months that Slade had to carefully sneak in to see his son. He had been successful and was thankful that he had not been caught. But that didn't mean he wasn't cautious.

This night was no different. As he sat on the edge of the bed, Slade noted Joey's good health. He was healthy, his weight appeared normal, and he showed no signs of physical damage. Slade was glad that the Titans were treating him well. It was something that he was sure that Adeline made them promise, with Nightwing probably the first to experience her protective rage first hand.

As his father, all that Slade could ask for was his son being in good hands. However, he couldn't entirely bring himself to fully agree with the arrangement. If it were up to him, Joey would be with either parent, preferably both, or on his own. Joey didn't need to get caught up in all this fighting, even if he had a love for helping others.

Slade's train of thought was disrupted as Joey unconsciously flinched. His body twitched in distress as he unconsciously found himself trapped in a nightmare. One hand gently grabbed Joey's arm while the other cupped the side of his face.

"It's okay Joey." Slade comfortably whispered. "Dad's here. Everything's okay now."

Joey seemed to listen to his father as he unconsciously melted in his father's grip. When his breathing regulated and his flinching stopped, Slade adjusted Joey's blanket. Slade let out a deflated sigh.

"How long have you been there?" Slade sighed, knowing that he was being watched.

"Long enough." Nightwing admitted.

"And how long have you known?"

"Two weeks."

Slade rose from his seat to face the young vigilante. He looked at Nightwing, not with anger or resentment, but exhaustion. He didn't want to be caught after such a long record of escaping unseen. Least of all by Nightwing.

"What are you going to do?" Slade inquired. "Arrest me for visiting my son?"

Nightwing sighed, shaking his head. He approached the mercenary, cautiously, but unfazed by his presence. He gave the mercenary an unusually tired grin.

"Would you like a cup of coffee?" Nightwing offered.

Slade shockingly flinched at the offer, eyeing Nightwing curiously. While spontaneous moments of kindness was nothing new for Nightwing, the fact that he was offering one of his sworn advisories coffee was. Nightwing's expression softened slightly, knowing that he had stumped Slade.

"I've been up working on tying a few loose ends for cases back in Gotham and am not going to bed any time soon." Nightwing shrugged his shoulders. "The next person up will be Raven and that's not for another two hours. And Joey not too long after that." He then glanced at Joey. "He'll still be here when we're done if you want to see him."

Slade bounced between Nightwing and his son. Joey was in a deep sleep, which was a good sign. And if he was going to be like that for a few hours, it wouldn't hurt if he stepped away for a moment.

"Why not?" Slade accepted.

A steaming mug of coffee was generously placed in front of Slade, as Dick sat on the other side of the table. Slade took it, gingerly picking it up before taking a sip. Dick's domino mask sat by him, letting Slade know that he wasn't afraid that he saw his true identity. Not that he hadn't already. They sat in silence for a few moments as they scanned each other.

"So, how did you find out?" Slade asked, setting the cup down.

"I guess it started when we initially got Joey situated in the Tower." Dick recalled, taking a bit of coffee before setting it down. "Adeline mentioned that he suffered from chronic nightmares. Mostly resulting from the trauma of losing his voice, your messy divorce, and Grant's death." Dick's coffee cup slightly shifted between his hands. "She also warned us that the events with Terra might add onto that trauma. Her recommendation, if we caught him in the midst of a nightmare, wake him up, talk him through it if need be, and get him back to bed."

"That does sound like her." Slade confirmed.

Slade could picture Adeline given the Titans a list of odd requests and requirements as well as warnings. It was probably for the best considering Joey's traumatic history. However, that didn't entirely answer his question and opened the door for a new one.

"So I'm guessing all of you do this?" Slade assumed.

"Me and Raven mostly." Dick stated. "Beast Boy was a bit untrusting of him after Terra's death." There was a brief pause as they both recalled the initial fallout. "And while he's gotten over it, he's still working on building a good relationship with Joey." Dick moved on to the next member. "Cyborg would, given that he knows a thing or two about trauma, but because of the nature of theirs being a bit different, he's not sure if he's the best candidate. Though he does well for the most part." That only left one other member. "Starfire gets it as well, and while she gets the difference between coping on Tamaran and Earth, he is a little intimidated by her more assertive nature."

Dick look at his cup thinking about their attempt to help. Or at the very least how they were handling it. It wasn't that they weren't trying, it was how familiar they were with Joey's or how they thought they could handle it.

"To actually answer your question though, we started noticing changes after the first month." Dick circled back around. "In that first month, he would wake up petrified almost every other night. He only got three hours of sleep a night in the first week alone." Dick's face twitched at the thought. "We thought part of it was because of the adjustment on top of the nightmares. Then about a month ago, his panic attacks got less frequent. He wasn't waking up as much and was opening up a bit more. Raven and I thought he was getting better. That maybe he was getting used to being here, and the panic attacks were clearing up naturally. We also thought that maybe with him being away from Adaline helped, thinking that her constant presence might have been part of the problem. Two weeks ago, Raven decided to take a step back. She's still open to helping, both as an empath and just wanting to be someone he could confide in. But at that point, she didn't feel the need to constantly gauge his emotions every night."

Dick sipped his coffee, recalling the conversation. He understood her decision. Without any incidents in two weeks, there might not have been a need to have him constantly monitored. Plus, she was starting to look a bit under the weather herself, which wouldn't benefit Joey's psyche, or what was equally as important, her health. As far as Dick was concerned, Raven retiring was probably good for both of their sakes.

"Which left me on and off." Dick continued. "I was up two weeks ago, helping tie up a few loose ends for a case involving Two Face that Robin and I worked on. I was taking a break, so I thought I would check on Joey. I wasn't overly concerned, but I figured why not? I was up so checking on him wasn't going to do any harm. When I turned the camera on, I was startled to find you in the room."

Slade twitched slightly. He vaguely recalled that night. It was ten days after Slade and Beast Boy had a sit down and cleared the air after Terra's death and another two after Slade and Wintergreen returned from a hunting trip that turned into Slade's first real contract after completing Grant's. Slade remembered feeling a paternal needing to see his son. To check on the kid to make sure everything was alright.

"You were sitting on the edge of the bed, much like you were tonight," Dick stated, "and you must have just calmed him down from a nightmare as well given how tightly he was unconsciously holding onto your sleeve."

There was a prolonged sense of silence as they took the time to digest Dick's story. It was detailed, which was a plus. However, it also left Slade with a lingering sense of tension and a need to explain himself.

"I just want to see my son." Slade admitted. "I know my job hasn't made it easy. Even less so, now that Adaline and I have divorced. My family is the one thing that is still important to me. I just wish I had more time with them. That I had done things differently." Slade eyed his coffee. "I miss my kids and I've screwed them both up in equally horrible ways. But for Joey's sake, I want to be in his life. And for my sanity, I have to be. Even if it’s in secret.”

"I understand." Dick replied, to a slightly curious glare. "I mean, as a parent, I don't understand where you're coming from, but as a child who had a parent being gone for periods of time, I understand." Another, slightly confused, glare dug into him. "Just because I grew up in a circus, and close to my parents, doesn't mean my father never spent periods of time away from us. I know two times where that happened. The first when my mother was on maternity leave with me and the second when I got a bad case of pneumonia that landed me in the hospital for a week. In both cases, Haly needed at least one Grayson to keep the show going. So my father had to spend long periods of time perfecting a one man routine." Dick took a sip of coffee. "I might not remember his time away when I was a baby, but I vaguely recall calling out for my father during the worst parts of my pneumonia, only for him not to show. I remember feeling pain from the pneumonia on top of feeling heartbroken when he wasn't there."

It might not have been what Slade wanted to hear, but it was something he didn't mind hearing either. Hearing how the other side fells, helped put things into perspective. Even if that perspective was a little different as far as history.

"You've raised a great kid." Dick complimented, catching Slade off guard a bit. "It's true. I've never met someone as kind hearted and wonderfully talented as he is. He's a wonderful human being. So if there's any positive takeaway from everything your family's been through, it's that."

Slade wasn't sure if he should take the compliment. With everything he's done to his kid, he wasn't sure if he could take credit for it, outside of half his DNA and its side effects. But at the same time, he appreciated Dick at least trying to be somewhat positive about it.

"He's the only good thing we have," Slade admitted, "not that we deserve him. But thank you anyways." Slade gave Dick an intense glare. "And thank you for what you've been doing for him. He needs people like you in his life."

"Of course. I want him to be comfortable."

After another half hour of conversing, Slade finally decided to call it a night. But not without saying goodbye to his son. He and Dick quietly waltz down the hall to Joey's room. Right as Slade was about to open the door when the door slid open on its own. On the other side, a slightly dazed Joey stood in front of them. He jumped in surprise when his sight processed what was in front of him. Which prompted Slade to glare at Dick suspiciously.

"Don't worry bud," Dick comforted, addressing Joey first, "I'm not going to arrest him. He just wanted to see you, but you were asleep. What are you doing up so early?"

"Smelled coffee." Joey signed. "Have to pee."

That was enough to answer Slade's suspicions. He couldn't blame Dick for his son's bladder and he was just as guilty as Dick was for the coffee smell. Turning his full attention back to Joey, Slade tried to think of what to say. Not expecting to get caught, he felt at a loss for words.

Joey tightly latched onto Slade, hugging him to fill his father's lack of response. His face dug into Slade's shoulder and let tears dampen Slade's coarse top. It was clear that Joey needed this almost as much as Slade did. More so even.

After a few moment, Joey gently tapped Slade letting him know he was done. He was released, and took care of any rogue tears.

"I missed you." Joey signed.

"Me too kid." Slade agreed with a soft smile. "I'm sorry I have been a bit neglectful."

"It's okay. I'm just glad you're here now." Joey turned his attention to Dick. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Dick answered, approaching him. "I'm just glad you guys got to see each other."

#Joey Wilson #Slade Wilson #Deathstroke #Jericho #Dick Grayson #Nightwing #New Teen Titans #Fanfic #Fanfiction #DC #DC Comics #AU #Precious Boy #Sleepy Jericho #Anxiety #Panic Attack #Nightmares

[seven-oomen]

Breaking the cycle | How Teen Wolf portrays its traumatized fathers

First of, I would like to say that the following words are my take on this. I am a 29 year old trans man of Caucasian descend who is an domestic violence and abuse survivor. I am diagnosed with ADHD since 12 and diagnosed with CPTSD since this year. I understand trauma and I understand what it does to people. But I am not a professional. I am a fan.

Secondly, the characters I’ll be talking about today are specifically the fathers of some of the main characters in Teen Wolf. Namely Chris Argent, Peter Hale, and Noah Stilinski. 

I realize there are many more traumatized parents who would fit well in this essay and while I thought about including them, I decided that for now, these are the three characters I’m focusing on.

I would love to hear your thoughts about some of the other parents and how their traumatizing pasts might have contributed to the way they raised their children.

Sources are listed under the read more. The gifs I’m using are from Google.

I will be focusing on these characters, discuss what sort of trauma they have, how it affects them and how it affects the way they then raised their children. And why their stories are important for trauma and abuse survivors.

Let’s start with Noah Stilinski.

From Episode 3, Season 6 Sundowning we know the following about Noah’s homelife:

Elias was known for being both emotionally and physically abusive, and on at least one occasion, Noah stepped in to protect his mother from his abuse, causing his father to inadvertently throw him into a glass coffee table; his shoulder was scarred, and tiny fragments of glass remain under the now-healed wound even in the present day.

He even tells Scott: (While talking about a memory of him and Claudia in College.) “The kind of father I wish I had. The kind I... I hope to be."

In the same episode Noah also refers to the incident above as “That time.” Indicating that it wasn’t the first time this happened and it wasn’t the last either.

Piecing all the information together we can conclude that Noah was emotionally, psychologically, and physically abused by his father. We can also conclude that this abuse extended to his mother. Meaning he was also a victim of domestic violence.

There is also evidence in the episode that Elias might have abused Stiles, or at the very least has a very negative opinion of his grandson.  “ That's right! Act like I'm not even here! Go crawling back to your dead wife and loser son!”

This scarred Noah, both physically and mentally. We see evidence of this in episodes where he reacts violently and explosively any time his son is hurt. He immediately blows up and threatens physical violence against the people who hurt his son. 

A part of that is parental protection, but imagine that someone beat the living crap out of you and those you love every day of your life. Once you’re free of that person it leaves a mark and a smoldering fear of seeing the people around you getting hurt. When it happens you get angry, at the people who hurt your loved one, and at yourself. You weren’t there to protect them, you were too late.

Noah blames himself whenever Stiles gets hurt. I believe, based on his childhood home life that Noah corresponds his son getting hurt with failure as a parent. And knowing where he comes from, that’s an extra sore subject for him.

We have basis of it in canon.

We can also see that Noah’s guilt tends to eat at him if he ever has to discipline Stiles or yell at him. As shown in the following scene.

I believe that the abuse Noah endured makes him a very scared individual especially when it comes to raising his son. He’s constantly afraid he’s turning into his father, his afraid of making the same mistakes. He’s afraid he’ll scar and traumatize his own as he was traumatized himself.

The fact that Noah is aware of what he’s doing, that he stops when asked is enough of an indication to tell us, the audience, that he isn’t his father. Once Stiles indicates he’s okay, or simply tells his father to stop, Noah stops immediately. He usually hugs his son or initiates a kind physical contact right after. 

He stops, he reflects, realizes his mistake, and tries to do better.

This is one way to break the cycle. Noah’s not perfect at it, we can see him struggle many times. He insults Stiles or his intelligence without meaning to, passing it off as a joke, he’s constantly working and is not around as much as he should be. And those are valid criticisms of this character.

But deep at his core Noah’s trying to break a cycle of physical and emotional abuse, he’s trying to be there for Stiles. Tells him to go to school, tries to keep an eye on Stiles and tries to talk to him whenever he has the chance to explore Stiles’s wellbeing and feelings.

This is a man who went through hell as a child, became a father, and decided to do better.

Noah is a character who effectively broke a viscous cycle and has a wonderful and strong relationship with his son as a result. It’s not without flaws and Noah’s not perfect. But he’s generally not abusive or an abuser. And that is a step in the right direction.

It also shows us, the audience, that no matter what home life you come from, you can arise above your own traumas and do better for the next generation.

-

Now Chris Argent is an interesting one. I already talked about Chris and trauma in my daddy’s little soldier meta.

Considering the type of person Gerard is, and how he treats several teenagers in the show. I believe Chris is also a victim of emotional, psychological, and physical abuse. We don’t know much about his home life with his mother, so that I can not speculate on.

What we do know is, Gerard has no qualms about hurting children and teenagers. He’s admitted that he would kill his own son if it meant he survived. He’s raised his own son to be a weapon and to compartmentalize his emotions. I shudder to think as to what methods Gerard must have used on Chris. But as we never see them, I can only speculate.

So how did Chris break his cycle of abuse?

By not raising Allison to be a hunter. For the first seventeen years of her life, Allison didn’t know the Supernatural existed. She was kept out of her father’s life until it was no longer possible. She was never raised as a soldier, she wasn’t raised to hide her feelings. If anything, her father encouraged her and nurtured her to the best of his abilities. Chris tried to be there for his daughter. 

He even moved her to France to get her away from their lives. He quit something he was raised to do and did it successfully, just to protect his daughter. He grew up to be everything his father wasn’t.

And while Chris, too, is not perfect at it, he does try and breaks the cycle.

He’s aware of their problems, addresses them, and tries to do better. He even extends this nurturing and protective side to Isaac later down the line. 

Chris, a victim of abuse, sees the signs of abuse in Isaac, and decides; this one, this one I will nurture and protect too. Which he eventually accomplishes by bringing him to France and away from the craziness that is Beacon Hills. (Would have been nice to get a good plot about Chris adopting Isaac, but well, that’s another rant.)

Chris, like Noah, shows that even if you were raised in the worst circumstances, by being aware of your trauma and how that affects others, you can break the cycle and come out on top.

-

And last but not least we have someone who went through an horrific event and possibly emotional abuse from his family, discovered he was a father, and then had to adjust.

I’m talking about Peter Hale.

Now Peter is not a morally good character in general. He has no qualms about killing people who get in his way. From what we know about his childhood Peter also had anger issues as a small child and often broke his toys. 

However, the reason why I’m stating that Peter was most likely emotionally abused (I think by his sister Talia) is because we know that Talia, would not believe Peter about the fire and the Argents and waved his concerns away without considering them. She manipulated multiple of his memories and frequently hid the truth from him. And we know that their relationship from before the fire was strained.

We also know that Peter does care about his family. He cared for Cora in the hospital and he does care about whether Derek lives or dies and tends to keep an eye out for his nephew. In later seasons we also see Peter caring about his only daughter Malia and even express fear for her wellbeing when they go up against the Anuk-Ite. 

His love for Malia is eventually what frees him from the Ghost Riders control and his wish for her to live is what motivates his decisions in Season 6 to try and keep her safe, and when he can’t keep her away from the fight, he joins her and tries to protect her.

Now I believe that the Peter we see in S1,2, 3 and S6B are the real Peter Hale. A traumatized man who believes his only way to stay alive is through manipulation and careful planning. But he does genuinely seem to care about a few people, Cora, Derek, and Malia.

In Season 1 Peter is still coming out of his traumatic event (being burned alive and then being in a coma) and he has to navigate a new world. He kills Laura (or so it is speculated) for her Alpha power and to heal himself. Because to Peter, he is the only one who can avenge his family and resolve the traumatic event he went through.

Revenge, of course, is generally not a good way to resolve trauma and the plan doesn’t work. His trauma is not resolved by killing Kate and he dies that night.

When Peter comes back practically powerless he has to navigate carefully and he does so through manipulating the people around him. To Peter, manipulation is the only way to stay alive and get ahead. This idea of his, had to come from somewhere.

This is where my theory of emotional abuse kicks in. Because if Peter was emotionally abused by his sister (for which there is evidence in canon), he most likely picked up his tactic of manipulation as a survival tactic.

Now out of the list. Peter is the only person who doesn’t fully rise above his past. The past still haunts him as he becomes a protector of Beacon Hills in S6B. But I firmly think that if we got to see more of Peter past this point, we would have seen a man starting his journey to recognizing his toxic traits and trying to do better by them. But that of course, is just speculation.

Peter’s story teaches us that the road to healing and becoming a better person isn’t always linear. It’s not a given that you’ll heal if you aren’t ready to accept it. Or if you’re so focused on getting revenge that healing is impossible, it’s also not going to work. And usually, trying to heal requires a positive presence in your life (Malia), a support system (Malia and the pack), and a willingness to recognize what you’re doing wrong and to better yourself moving forward.

Sources:

Breaking the Cycle of Child Abuse - Article written by a psychologist and peer reviewed by a psychiatrist

The cycles of violence - Article written for the WHO by the University of Birmingham

The Teen Wolf Wiki - for all information and episodes of these characters

Teen Wolf - MTV tv show that owns the characters.

#chris argent #noah stilinski #peter hale #teen wolf meta #teen wolf #meta #long post #trauma #healing #breaking the cycle

[qwhlz]

Bakugou X Reader

Okay, well, I wrote this a while ago, so I'm posting it as my first post haha. Um. Ok here are the TW so if you're not comfortable please don't read!

Also, please read until the end :D it gets better

I was listening to this so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ~

Tw: slight smut, fluff, described violence (mineta yk), coronavirus

"So everyone stays inside, no going to the grocery store, the food will get transported every week. The school will be off until health is guaranteed. Understood?" Aizawa sternly announced over Iida's phone as everyone in the UA 1A dorms stood around it, in the common area.

There had been a deadly virus spread, and they called it Covid 19, or Corona.

No one really understood how the fuck this virus started, more so why the most infected was Asia, but they understood the rules they were given.

"Yes sensei. Thank you for telling us. Have a good night." Iida answered as he hung up. It was currently around 7 PM, so most of the students were in either PJ's or workout clothes (khm Kiri).

"What the fuck?!" Bakugou yelled as he rubbed his eye. He was about to go to bed, actually, so this was pretty annoying. I mean, they're under literal house arrest. How the fuck are heroes supposed to act?

"Well, everyone heard Aizawa sensei. You can keep doing whatever you were doing, just no going outside. As long as we're inside, everyone will be okay." Iida said as he quickly bowed to everyone, leaving to go to his room.

"Sounds kind of made up, don't you think?" Denki said as he fell on the couch, his head falling on Sero's lap.

"Kind of," Mina said as she sat down next to him, putting his sprawled out feet on her lap.

"Everyone inside at all times. Girls. This is heaven." Mineta mumbled as he drooled next to the table in between the two couches, before getting a kick to the face that sent him flying to the other side of the room.

"Shut the fuck up you perverted asswipe," Y/n said as she sat down next to Mina, resting the back of her head on her shoulder as she opened her phone, going on social media to check if this virus is actually real. Which, if it was, concerned her a lot. The crimes are definitely gonna go up and isn't this the perfect opportunity for the LOV to attack, AGAIN?

"Thanks, babes." Mina said as she pat Y/n head, earning a tiny smile.

"Yup, it's real. Twitter is swarming with it." Y/n added, answering Denki's earlier question. By now, everyone was either on the couches or the floor in front of the couches.

"Damn, lemme see," Denki answered as he put his arm out, palm open as he quickly made a grabbing motion.

Y/n went to hand it to him, but it got snatched away by the angry blonde she always kind of adored. He was mean, but have you seen him blush? It was the cutest thing in the world.

He scanned the phone as he scrolled down, reading a load of media bullshit before his eyes widened, groaning. He threw the phone back at Y/n, which ended up hitting her flat on the face. "Ow." She said bored as she scanned her phone, seeing a random, and obviously photoshopped, Kamui woods nude. She laughed as she showed the poorly edited picture to Mina, who also laughed.

"What the fucks wrong with you," Bakugou mumbled as he rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger.

Y/n shrugged as she hid the photo, before handing the phone to Denki like she originally planned. He read over the news, sighing as he handed her back the phone with a black phone case on it.

"How stupid," Denki added as he snugged his head into Sero's lap.

"Whatever. Im gonna go to my room. Goodnight to all the bad bitches and Mineta. No, actually, fuck you, Mineta." Y/n said as she stood up, Kissing Mina's cheek.

People mumbled goodnight as she walked to the elevator, feeling the sensation of being followed. She glanced behind her, seeing the angry blonde as she smirked to herself, before regaining her composure. She favored him more than Mina, which was pretty weird.

"Sleepy?" She asked with a smirk as the two of them walked into the elevator, both with their hands deep into their pockets. She pulled one hand out, clicking the number for the 4th floor. They had actually gotten much closer ever since the summer training camp incident. Bakugou actually had a lot of PTSD and nightmares, resulting in serious panic attacks in the middle of the night, as well as the middle of the day, and since he knew Y/n used to go through it too, he somehow got forced to tell her. Y/n was glad he did because he was able to text or call her whenever he had one of them, making her always be there to help. She never asked for anything in return, which Bakugou found weird. He wondered why, anyone really, would want to help him without asking for something in return. He was also really weirded out by the fact that she was awake at 5 AM every other night.

"Tch, shut up. At least I sleep." He answered as he leaned on the glass wall of the elevator. The glass was clear, but thick, for safety and family-friendly reasons.

"Oh shut up. It's not my fault I have insomnia." She averted her eyes as he furrowed her brows a bit. She had insomnia ever since Bakugou got kidnapped. She had actually really liked his personality, meaning she liked him. Not in a romantic way though. (Yet)

Once she saw him get taken before her eyes, it was the only thing she saw when she fell asleep, as well as worst-case scenarios. So, she gave up on trying to sleep. Once he was safely returned, she expected everything to go back to normal, but it didn't. She even tried taking melatonin, but it didn't help. So, over time, she developed small purple eye bags. Nothing too serious, but everyone knew she had insomnia. And why. Except for Bakugou. She asked everyone nicely (which wasn't her best trait) not to tell him, so he doesn't feel guilty. Even though he would deny it, she knew he would feel that way at one point.

The elevator let out a ding as the doors opened, letting them exit as they both went the same direction. Since Y/n wasn't allowed to live in the dorms at first, and most of the rooms were taken, they put her on the boys side, the fourth floor, far far away from Mineta. Y/n was actually caught beating the shit out of him 2 times behind the school. Well, she did it more than 2 times. That was only when they caught her. To be frank, Mineta annoyed and frustrated her to no ends, and the fact that he didn't even bother stopping after being beaten up multiple times, says something. Yes, that was a bit violent, but sexual harassment was not a joke. At least not to her. She would've been suspended, but then they'd have to suspend Mineta as well, which wasn't their top priority. Not that he favored him or anything, and by he I mean Aizawa, he actually hated the little shit, but he couldn't admit that to anyone. Mineta was still a student.

She opened her door as Bakugou took a couple more steps, opening the door right next to hers. "Good night B. Call me if anything happens, okay?" She asked seriously as she smiled at him.

"Tch." Bakugou retorted as he nodded his head, barely, but she noticed as she smiled before going in.

Bakugou was really grateful for Y/n. Not that he'd even admit it to, even himself, but he actually was. She was one of the blunter and mean people in the class, except for those she liked, so he felt like someone actually cared. Everyone else was way too nice. And, to be real, he actually admired that. She always told the truth, no matter how harsh it was, but if it was to someone she liked, her words were more gentle. She wasn't a person to lie to either. Every time, anyone really, lied to her, she knew. It was like an instinct. She was really special. To think someone random he met would comfort him and try more than his own mother is unimaginable. She never lost her temper around him, and if she did, she would smile as leave for a minute to cool off. The scary thing about her was, she knows how to control her emotions. She knows exactly what to say every time. She knows self-control better than anyone.

Bakugou sighed as he stepped into his room, taking his shirt off as he went to his closet, taking out towels, pajamas, and his toothbrush and toothpaste. Bakugou liked to go to sleep early since he was disciplined, but he also liked to hope that would make his nightmares go away. He hated his PTSD. It was his worst enemy. Worse than any villain. He felt like he was weak. Not his body, but his mind. Like he was too weak to take one traumatic experience, when people had many.

Y/n set her phone on her bed as she took her pajamas and towels, as well as her hygiene stuff. Her room was pretty clean, some random clothes were thrown around, but the rest was pretty nice. Her bed had pretty, white sheets, some faint stains on them, and it was in the corner of her room. Next to that was a balcony, and then her closet. The rest of it was just random decorations and paintings she made and liked.

She left her room at the same time as Bakugou as she looked at him, smiling before waiting for him so they walk to the showers together. He rolled his eyes playfully as he tried his best not to smile. "Wanna shower together?" She said as she winked at the slightly taller boy, whose face erupted into a blushing ness at her comment making her chuckle. "Shut the fuck up." Bakugou mumbled as they stepped into the elevator, which was surprisingly still there, clicking on the first-floor button.

"If that pervert tries anything, tell me." He said as he tried to start a conversation, barely think about his words.

"Pft, why? I beat him up multiple times. At this point, I know all his weak spots and how not to leave marks." She smirked as she nudged Bakugou's shoulder with her elbow, before resting her head on it. "But thank you for worrying. I appreciate it." She said as she softly smiled. The elevator seemed to move slower as Bakugou's heartbeat increased. Every time they made physical contact, he'd get flustered. It kind of made him annoyed that his body could give in so easily.

"Do you want me to sleep in your dorm tonight?" She asked as she glanced up at him, still leaning on his bare shoulder.

Bakugou shook his head no, as the doors opened, causing her to pull herself away from him and walk out together.

Y/n and Bakugou were known as best friends around the class. Even Aizawa knew it. He also knew about Bakugou's nightmares, hence he let Y/n sleepover in Bakugou's room anytime she wants. Aizawa, as well as the rest of the class, knew that she was the only one able to calm him down in said situations. Some girls were jealous since Bakugou had a soft spot for her, but she never used that to her advantage.

Y/n waved, wiggling her fingers as they went separate ways, each into the bathroom of their gender.

Y/n set her stuff down as she stepped into a shower, turning on the water as she did her hygiene, as well as washing her body and hair. Once she was done, she put her PJ's on and brushed her teeth after.

Y/n turned her body as she went to leave the bathroom, but her knee hit something. Y/n looked down, spotting the familiar purple sex offender in front of her, smirking with only underwear on.

Y/n groaned as she tilted her head back, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, sexy." He said with a lisp as he walked into the girl's bathroom, closing the door.

Y/n looked at him, already knowing what he was going to fail at trying, so she played along. Y/n smirked as she leaned over, locking the door behind him, before going back, crouching down to his height. She was still smirking, which somehow only made Mineta horny, instead of alarmed.

"Okay. I guess I was playing hard to get. Come here." She smiled as she stood up, walking further away from the door. Mineta's eyes widened as he jogged up to her, placing his hands on her hips. It took every muscle in her body not to puke, but she managed to keep calm.

"But I'm more into tying." She said as she took one of the towels the girls used to clean the floors, putting it around the gremlin's eyes. He was smirking hard as Y/n noticed a tiny thing sticking out of his pants.

"Oh, you naughty girl." He said as he allowed her to tie him up completely, hands and ankles involved.

After she was done, Y/n stood up, chuckling.

"Did you really think I was going to fuck you?" She laughed as she picked him up by the hem of his shirt easily, walking over to the door, ignoring his voice filled with confusion.

"This is the last time I beat you up. If there's a next time, you won't make it out alive. I don't care if Im suspended or expelled for committing murder, as long as you're dead." She said slyly in his ear as she slammed his face into the tiles on the wall, earning a cry and groan from him. She actually held back a lot. She could've broken his skull with that hit, but she held back. His nose wasn't even

broken.

"Y/n? What the fuck was that? Are you okay?" Bakugous voice asked roughly from the other side as the doorknob jiggled. Y/n was still smirking as she scanned Mineta's bloody nose. She unlocked the door as she looked at Bakugou with an innocent smile. "I'm okay. He just tried to do something with me, that's all." She said as she stepped out to see a very angry Bakugou glaring at Mineta in Y/n's hand.

Bakugou went to jump on him, and probably kill him, but Y/n put a hand on his chest, gently pushing him back as she kissed his cheek. "It's okay now. You can go to bed." She smiled as she left, entering the common room, earning a few confused looks from students that were still in there.

"Uh, Y/n. What are you doing?" Denki asked as he scanned the bloody and tied up Mineta, furrowing his brows as Mina laughed next to him.

"Oh, nothing, just my usual nightly activities. Sero, could you help me?" She asked as she smiled at Sero who looked at her concerned.

"Uh, sure? What's up?" He asked as he stood up, walking over to her, ignoring Mineta's yells. "Just some tape. Thank you." She said as she smiled at him. Sero reluctantly shot some tape out, ripping it as he handed it to her, earning a kiss on the cheek.

Y/n walked up to in front of the common room TV as she took a chair, ignoring everyone's stares as she taped Mineta up to the wall above the TV. "If anyone takes him down before the morning you come to talk to me okay?" She said as she looked at everyone who nodded, before she smiled, bowing. "Thank you." She said as she left the common room, taking Bakugou's hand as they walked back to the elevator. Bakugou's hair was damp, the ends of his spikes tilting downwards as she smiled, ruffling his hair.

"What did he do?" Bakugou asked, almost in a growl as she cracked his knuckles. Y/n put her hands over Bakugou's, stopping the cracking. "Don't crack your fingers. It's bad for your joints." She said as they went into the elevator.

* * *

It was around 3:26 AM, and Y/n was in her dorm, eating ice cream and watching TikTok. She chuckled at a random video as she scrolled, eating a spoonful of chocolate ice cream. As she went to take another bite, she heard two knocks on the wall behind her head. Her head shot up as she set her phone down, carrying her pint of ice cream as she quietly left her room, opening Bakugou's door as she went inside, locking it behind her.

In front of her, on his bed, was the same scene she had been seeing almost every night. Bakugou, red puffy eyes, and cheeks, sitting leaned onto the wall, on the other side of which was Y/n's bed, with his arms hugging his knees.

Y/n sighed as she took the spoon out of her mouth, walking over to Bakugou as she set the ice cream next to her, cupping his cheeks as she made him look into her eyes.

"It's okay my love. It's okay." She whispered as she pushed his knees down, straightening them as she sat on his upper thighs, hugging him tightly. Y/n started calling him the nickname a while ago, so it wasn't weird to either of them. He actually found it very comforting. And she was just happy to be able to help and connect. Well, maybe she needed some reassuring as well.

Bakugou squeezed her tight with his arms wrapped around her waist, intertwining with each other. He sobbed into her shoulder as he shook, making the girl sigh. She hated that he had to go through this, but it had gotten better. He used to have nightmares even when napping but after some reassurance from Y/n, it had gotten better. Y/n's goal was to just get him to feel good again. No nightmares. He refused to go to therapy, so Y/n started researching and going to a therapist herself to learn how to help him. It wasn't the best, but she tried.

"I know. Focus on my breathing okay? On my heartbeat." She mumbled as she started balancing her breathing, hoping he'd follow along, which he thankfully did. Bakugou inhaled, shaking, as he tried to follow her breathing, trying his best. Since Y/n and Bakugou were room to room, they both put their beds on the same side of the wall connecting them and using a knocking technique to decipher. 1 knock meant a flashback. 2 knocks were a nightmare. And 3 knocks was a full-on panic attack. Bakugou rarely ever used three knocks, even though he had panic attacks more than nightmares, but he wanted not to be seen as weak. He thought that she had already seen him in such a weak state, she didn't need to think he was even more of a crybaby.

Once Bakugou managed to calm down a bit, she pulled back, still hugging him as she put her forehead on his. She looked into his piercing red eyes as she blinked slowly, smiling at him. Bakugou's view went to her lips for a second, before quickly returning back to her eyes. Y/n smiled surprised. He had done that a couple of times, but she always ignored it, thinking he just didn't want eye contact. But, this time, he started leaning in slowly. At first, she didn't notice it, but when she did, she looked at his eyes. He looked back as he blinked a couple of times, finally closing the gap as he kissed her gently. It wasn't a french kiss or anything. More like a long peck. Both of their eyes closed as they kissed before Bakugou pulled back. Y/n chuckled as she raised her hand, putting it in his hair. "Didn't think you had the balls for that." She whispered as she smiled at him. His brows furrowed as he made a tch noise before kissing her again, this time a bit more passionately.

Y/n kissed back as she smiled into the kiss. She had never thought he'd do this, and she could bet her life he'd regret it in the morning. This is just the heat of the moment, and she was sad that was all it was, but she had made peace with the fact that the only label Bakugou wanted, was the #1 hero. Not a boyfriend.

Y/n felt a warm sensation on her bottom lip as her eyes shot open, looking at Bakugou's closed ones. She felt a gentle tug on her hair as she opened her mouth slightly to protest, but he had already put his tongue in her mouth, twirling it around hers. Y/n blinked a couple of times before he pulled back, licking his lips after. "Do you have chocolate?" He asked as he looked at her confused.

Y/n rolled her eyes as she moved off of him, taking the pint of ice cream with a single spoon, setting it next to her as she sat to the right of him.

Bakugou's arms extended as he grabbed her hips, pulling her back onto his lap as she yelped quietly. He smirked at the small blush he could see in the moonlight as she rolled her eyes and picking the food up, taking a spoonful and putting it up to his mouth. Bakugou's mouth opened as he took the ice cream. Y/n went to have a spoon herself, but a hand snaked up to the nape of her neck as his arm pushed her lips back onto his, transferring some of the ice cream into her mouth with his tongue. Y/n's eyes widened as she pulled back, swallowing the ice cream and licking her lips as looked at him with a grimace. "Ew, you're disgusting!" She said as she chuckled, wiping her lips with the back of her hand.

Bakugou chuckled as well as he licked his lips, swallowing the treat in his mouth. "More." He said as he opened his mouth, motioning to the ice cream.

Y/n rolled her eyes as she took another spoon, putting it in his mouth as she moved her hips a bit to make herself comfortable, shifting her feet as well. Bakugou's eyes widened as he blinked, grabbing her hips roughly. "Don't. Move." He said as she furrowed her brows, before feeling something poke her from underneath. Her eyes widened as well as she looked down, before looking at Bakugou again, who aggressively swallowed whatever was left, groaning as he put his head in the crook of her neck. "This is all your fault." He mumbled into her shoulder as she blushed hard.

She did NOT expect that at all. She just wanted to comfort him at 4 am without thinking about getting railed, but here we are.

"So what the fuck do I do now." She whispered as she blushed even deeper, staring at the wall in front of her. This wasn't uncomfortable or anything, but it was quite awkward. She might have been a virgin, but she knew stuff. And she knew boners don't leave on their own.

"Ugh. Fuck." Bakugou groaned as he dug his head deeper into her neck. He was embarrassed, yes, but the thing that annoyed him was how he already knew what he wanted her to do. He could picture the whole scenario in his head, making him even harder. He really just hated himself right then.

"Um. So. I guess we're stuck." She said as she felt an itch on her inner thigh. "Oh no." She whispered as her eyes fell. How was she gonna explain this one.

"What." Bakugou mumbled as his voice was muffled from her hoodie. It was pure agony. But, he'd rather this happen with her than anyone else.

"Um. My thigh itches. Like...bad." She said as she gripped onto his shirt from the mix of horniness and itches. It was almost getting painful, so before Bakugou could answer, she moved her hips back and forth a couple of times as she felt his member poke harder. A small smirk made its way to her lips as she heard Bakugou's low groans. She knew exactly what she was doing, and she felt like she was in charge.

"Stop. Ugh, stop moving." He managed to groan out as he squeezed her hips tighter, resulting in a  low moan from her. Both of their eyes widened as she blushed again, and Bakugou got even harder.

"Can. Can I just like. Ugh, it feels annoying saying it." She said as she put her head on top of his, wanting to disappear.

"Then. Ngh. Then just do it." He said as quickly as he could before she took a deep breath.

"Don't hate me in the morning." She whispered as she closed her eyes starting to slowly sway her hips back and forth. The thin biker shorts she was wearing were starting to get wet from her already soaked underwear, and he could feel it. Low groans escaped him as his breathing deepened. He never thought this would happen after a fucking panic attack, especially not in the middle of the night, but never say never I guess.

Only one thing was on Y/n's mind as she swayed a bit faster with every move. That was, how did I even get here? She never even wanted to lose her virginity in high school, and even though this technically wasn't it, she was sure this wasn't the only time it would happen. Whimpers left her slightly open mouth as she gripped her arms around his neck, the small sounds turning Bakugou even more as his brain just said 'fuck it'.

Bakugou swiftly turned the tables as Y/n was now kissing him, still in his lap, but pushed down a bit more. Her eyes widened slightly as she finally saw his red, sparkly eyes again. They were red from crying earlier and half-lidded, making him look even more attractive. He broke the kiss as his hand traveled up, behind her head, on the back of her neck as he hugged her again, stopping her movements.

She was confused. Was she doing anything wrong? Was he done? Is this what it's like? One way or another, she felt small kisses on her collar bone as her eyes were closed. Small bites and sucks were what Bakugou did to her collarbone, leaving tiny red hickeys. Once she realized what he was doing, she smiled as she pulled his head up. She smiled before kissing him as he stood up without warning, setting her on his bed next to him in a cuddling position. They were still facing each other as his hand was cupping her face as he looked her deep in the eye. "Go to sleep, my love." He mocked tiredly as he closed his eyes with a tiny grin, earning one from her.

"Fuck off." She mumbled as she rolled her eyes, placing her forehead on his. She hadnt expected any if this, but she was glad it happened. And, sure enough, she fell asleep. The funny thing is, Bakugou didn't have any other attacks that night.

#bakugou katsuki #mha bakugou #my hero academia #anime #boku no hero academia #bnha #bnha kirishima #mina ashido #Spotify

[dreamwritesimagines]

Okay, I know this may sound bad but

I CANNOT...ABSOLUTELY CANNOT

STAND MINA OR PETAL'S MOM.

ABSOLUTELY CANNOT STAND THEM.

I find them condescending; I dont like how they are all up in her business in the worst way but make it seem like love...its manipulating.

I know their history makes them over-protecrive but they take it too far and then cover it with words of care and love and then Petal just lets it go. Like the P.I thing? She could have let her mom know that she didnt appreciate how she disregarded her feelings and instruction to throw the folder away (which caused a break up and hearache) - it was completely the moms fault. But she was still expected to go home, to eat with them, to go to things with them (with obligation and NOT willingness - that's not family love).

Mina, I feel, speaks for itself... She just doesnt seem to know when enough is enough. She is emotionally a child and cant seem to understand that her words have consequences (which I would love to see Petal show her what they are, just once). Sometimes you have to give loved ones space so they can heal a bit before running your mouth and causing more damage. (Kinda getting angry here lol).

They hurt her, stomp on her but she still has to do what they want and SHE DOES! (For the most part) but at least they apologize....OH WAIT! THEY DON'T

Sorry about the long rant but I couldnt take it anymore... I cringe every time I see their names or mentions. Ugh.

On a positive note: I love you and I love your writing; I know that it is a part of life to not like some one, even fictional. I am actually loving the story. I hope you can forgive me for my rant...trying to find words to end this on but am so awkward.

I do love you and the story, I hope I didnt cross a line here.......

Oh my goodness, honey you don’t need to apologize at all! I find the way we look at  characters and  situations/dynamics from different viewpoints very interesting, so it’s quite lovely, you can love some characters, you can hate some characters! ❤❤

This is in no way like an apology or “but this and this” kind of reply btw, I’m just going to explain the way I see the characters and of course we’re all free to disagree, that’s the best thing about fiction!❤ It makes us think and see things differently❤ If you see them in a different way or if you have another approach, please let me know! ❤

So in my mind, when it comes to their family -even if they tend not to talk about it- the dad’s arrest was a huge trauma for each of them, and they all had different reactions to it. Trauma unfortunately changes people, and what they went through -Petal was too young yes, but the mom wasn’t and Mina was a teenager, which means her personality still wasn’t exactly...fixed in a way- basically shifted not only the power dynamics, but the understanding of each other.

So their mother, when the dad was arrested was obviously very shaken, and the way that whole incident resonated on her personality was that....the first thing she felt was possibly guilt, and guilt can alter our whole personality. I’m not a mother obviously, but based on my interactions with my own mother and people who have children, it’s my understanding that the worst feeling in the world for them is not being able to protect their child. So, the way it goes in Petal’s mother’s mind is that their father clearly scarred Petal, that’s for sure  but the thing is, she had no idea what was happening and that put Petal in such a danger. Spencer keeps saying that his “profile” doesn’t fit into a killer that would harm his family, but the way her mother sees it, he could’ve killed Petal or Mina, and she wouldn’t even realize what was wrong until it was too late. This is the man who’s the father of her children, the man she put her trust in to protect her children and in doing so, she put them in danger. So in her mind, it goes like 1) survival 2) psychological wellbeing. Of course it’s important, but she feels like she can fix her mental state if Petal “survives” first, so that’s the first priority. That’s why the P.I is a huge part of their lives, and that’s why she’s so... the way she is 😂 

Which bring us to Mina, whose teenager years were shaped by the trauma of her father. As multiple people stated in the story, Mina is her mother’s daughter, like a small copy with small traces of her father, and she grew up witnessing how devastating that whole thing was to her mother. Seeing something like that also shifted her view on “protectiveness”, and also, Mina is the oldest daughter right? I think there are certain traits that are very visible in oldest daughters, because she feels like she needs to protect everyone and she somehow feels almost...responsible? She was ready to cover up actual murder for her family, and while she was growing up, as it is very common with a lot of parents, her parents raised her with “You’re Petal’s big sister, you need to protect her”. That’s a huge burden to put on a child or a teenager, and she can’t help but feel guilty that she somehow “failed” Petal by letting her father traumatize her like that.

And lastly we have Petal, whose whole understanding of “family” is....twisted at best. That whole thing with her father happened when she was very young, so she grew up thinking that the people in her family are the only people who she could trust, especially after what happened. She was close with her father, and when they arrested him and found out what he did, it basically pulled the rug from under her, so she clung to the nearest people, which were her family.

I mean is it healthy? God no, it is very unhealthy and very dysfunctional. But the thing is, I feel like a fictional work should be free to show the good and the bad at the same time, we can’t cower away from it if we want to...awaken something in our audience, at least in my opinion😁

That being said, my education also taught me that like 99.9 percent of the time, the reader can analyse the characters much better than the writer, so if you disagree with me, that’s absolutely alright! ❤❤❤ I  love exchanging ideas with you! Thank you so much for this, this is a very different viewpoint I will keep in mind ❤❤❤ 

[godless-crownless-king]

🏵 PERSONALITY HEADCANON 🏵

“ This need to feed on the weak, the meek and the naive ”

[Warning : Multiple Triggering content]

🏵 After I drew this piece, explaining a little more about Aizen’s childhood, I felt the need to make a post about it, to delve into it further. The content of this post will be also added to my HC page.

Aizen’s personality disorder (psychopathy) is considered the worst and the rarest in terms of prevalence among the population. Contrary to the majority of people developing a psychopathy personality disorder, Aizen didn’t suffer from any form of abuse ; he wasn’t abused physically, nor sexually, nor emotionally. Nonetheless, he grew up in a family with two parents not being awful, but being not demonstrative, never showing him affection in an eloquent manner, avoiding physical contact, parents that, to the child, appeared more like mere shadows, mere ghosts - even though they were actually taking care of him and were doing everything they could to ensure their unique son’s a decent future.

Soon, at around 6 years old, Aizen started showing some of the red flags you can find in a child. By the age of 10, he was presenting all of them (for example : fascination/obsession for fire (because of its destructive symbolic aspect and the sensation of power it gives) ; attempts at putting buildings and animals on fire ; torturing and killing animals.

Already being a sadist, the boy who was receiving education at the local school, one day, felt like experimenting what he had done to animals on bigger beings and he sequestrated another child and tortured them for hours, burning them with cigarettes, cutting them up with a hunting knife he had stolen from his father, beating them with a stone. The poor victim survived the whole ordeal but terribly traumatized. After that incident, Aizen got irremediably kicked out of school and became home-schooled.

His antisocial behavior was already incredibly marked for such a young age and it got only more and more anchored as he never had to take responsibility for the consequences of his bad deeds.

“ I killed the cat... It was funny. I didn’t imagine there could have been so much blood and bones in such a tiny body. And nothing happened. No consequences at all. Like it hadn't happened at all.”

The major issue is, if no one stops a child with such behaviors to explain to them why it is so serious and bad, the child quickly links it to being in control at last and being in control is reassuring for a child, a child who is completely ignored by even his parents.

“ Then I killed the maid... and nothing happened either. The sun continues to shine. Life went on. That's when i understood that lives didn't matter.”

At the age of 12, Sosuke finally committed the act that had been on his mind for so long. He killed his father, a murder that didn’t mean much to him, then his mother. This murder holding much more meaning, for, unconsciously, if there was someone Aizen had been wanting to show him care and affection, it was her above all the rest. Aizen then opened the gas until it filled the house and put fire to it, so the fire would cleanse any proof left. When the emergency services arrived, he played his role of the traumatized little boy perfectly.

He was already extremely manipulative and was deemed as such by the therapist running his sessions. The professional estimating the child was already too cunning, manipulative and narcissistic to ever change.

The report indicated he was a pathological liar with a very high IQ (When you think he was finally opening up to you, he was just messing with you, mocking you, the version of the events constantly changing) ; heinous ; lacking entirely of empathy (never thinking about the others, including his past victims ; never expressing an ounce of remorse), going as far as to reject the problem on everyone else, him not being the problem at all ; highly sadistic (loving to break his victims through torture, both physical and mental, and send them into a state of perpetual fear) with a predator’s logic, appearing as extremely charming and even weak if he wanted so and, could even, in an attempt to lure his victim and lull their vigilance, making sure he’d fit the role of the perfect child and then perfect teacher, prince charming, whatever role he needed to fit as an adult. Under pressure - meaning if he were to lose his control of the situation, finally, despite the low probability of the patient going on an uncontrolled rampage, he could get hyper-violent. 

#cw long post #THE SOSUKE AIZEN YOU KNEW... NEVER EXISTED TO BEGIN WITH ((HC)) #cw psychopathy #cw torture #cw abuse #cw violence #cw animal cruelty #cw animal death #cw personality disorder

[strawberrysoup]

Let’s Review || Chapter 4

Peter Parker knew that his big sister would do anything for him to be safe and happy. She’d given up everything for him twice over already and would do it again in a heartbeat. And that’s why, when the criminal mastermind Tony Stark started inextricably following him around, he didn’t say a word. Because he knew without a doubt Penny would do whatever she had to if it meant keeping Peter safe. He had to protect her, just like she always protected him. He never considered what would happen if Stark decided both Parker siblings were worth taking. Never considered who else in Stark’s inner circle would agree. He just wanted to protect her and yet somehow, they both ended up with needles in their necks.

relationship: Steve Rogers/Original Female Character/Bucky Barnes, background Peter Parker/Tony Stark rating: Explicit warnings: Dark Steve Rogers, Dark Bucky Barnes, Dark Tony Stark, Dark Avengers, kidnapping, non-con/dub-con elements, underage Peter Parker, emotional and psychological abuse, very dark

When she was younger, Penny could remember her mother blaming little problems around the house on trolls. She said they were little gremlin like creatures that crept around in the dark and sabotaged things just enough to be inconvenient. Whenever Penny forgot something stupid, or worse, something important, she blamed the trolls. Forgetting her purse? The trolls. Forgetting to turn off the lights when she left the apartment? The trolls. Forgetting to make a to-do list? Trolls, obviously.

The latter, of course, was the worst. Forgetting to do things was annoying, but forgetting to do them even though you’d thought about making a to-do list and then just didn’t? A nightmare. Fucking trolls.

Penny had left the apartment with all the necessities; shoes, purse, phone, keys. She had a plan in mind that started with an outrageously expensive coffee and ended with a haircut. She knew what her plan was, had everything she needed. And that’s why she blamed trolls for the way her morning went.

When she got in line to get her coffee, she dug into her purse only to find that her wallet wasn’t in it. Which was ridiculous, because her wallet was always in her purse. She never took it out at home. The only options were that A. Peter took it (a joke) or B. She had been pickpocketed on the subway. Her head dropped back on her shoulders and she groaned loudly, ignoring the looks from the hipsters surrounding her.

“Ma’am, are you alright?”

Penny startled slightly and turned, not expecting a voice to come from quite so close behind her. The coffee shop was super busy, she shouldn’t have been so shocked that the patron behind her was so close, but it still startled her to nearly bump her nose on the man’s chest. She rocked back on her heel in surprise, nearly falling over if it wasn’t for the man reaching out and steadying her by the shoulders.

“Are you alright? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

His hands were fucking huge. They covered her shoulders entirely and curled down towards her shoulder blades, his grip tight enough to keep her on her feet but not bruising.

“Ma’am?”

“I’m,” she gulped slightly and shook her head, “sorry, I’m fine, just a drama queen I guess.”

“Are you sure? You seemed bothered by something before I scared you.”

Penny gave a small shrug and sighed with a self-deprecating smile on her face, “I think I was pickpocketed on the subway, my wallet’s gone. Should’ve been paying more attention I guess.”

She needed to get back home and call the bank, her debit card and credit card were in that wallet. And her driver’s license too, which meant a trip to the DMV. Was it even worth it to get a new one at this point? She literally planned to be in jail (prison?) by the end of the week.

“That’s horrible,” the frown on the man’s face didn’t do anything to mar how stupidly beautiful he was, “let me buy your coffee.”

“What? Oh my God, no, you don’t have to do that!” Penny had forgotten that his hands were still on her shoulders until she lifted her arms to wave off his concern, accidentally bumping against his elbows.

“Please, I’d like to,” he moved his arms, only to grab her flailing hands for just a moment before letting them go and moving to stand at her side rather than behind her, “my boyfriend should be showing up any moment and he’d skin me if I didn’t pay for you.”

She momentarily considered that Fuck All the Good Ones Really Are Gay right before relief filled her. Ever since the incident with Brock, men showing any amount of interest in her gave her goosebumps. Having a boyfriend meant that this one at least couldn’t have any ulterior motives, he was literally just being a good person. A genuine smile crossed her face at the realization.

“I guess it would be in bad taste for me to say no then, I wouldn’t want your boyfriend to skin you alive.”

“Alive?” The blond beside her laughed, a bone achingly deep and attractive laugh, “I want to point out that you escalated that, I assumed I would be dead before he skinned me.”

“Why am I skinning you, alive or dead?”

The man who appeared was definitely on par with the Adonis she’d already been speaking to. Standing next to each other, it was like looking at the cover of Men’s Fitness. He was tall and tan and built like a fucking tank, his shoulders looked so broad she wondered how he fit through doorways. Both of them, actually, how did either of them fit through doorways with shoulders wider than most people’s arm spans? Okay, that was an exaggeration but Penny was just about floored by how freaking attractive they both were.

“For not offering to pay for her coffee after she got her wallet stolen,” the blond responded with a grin, leaning over slightly to kiss his boyfriend’s cheek.

“You get mugged, sweetheart?” The frown on the brunet’s face was a goddamn crime and Penny quickly shook her head.

“No, no! Just pickpocketed, I think. Probably on the subway, I wasn’t paying as much attention as I should’ve been. It’s really not a big deal, I didn’t have any cash on me and I’ll just have my cards cancelled,” she gave a shrug and moved forward with the line, trying to pretend she wasn’t actually super upset over having to deal with yet another heap of bullshit.

“Well, Stevie’s right anyway, I’d skin him for not buying you a coffee. Are you traumatized doll? I’ll make him spring for a scone too.” Did he just wink at her? Penny’s told her heart not to stutter like that, he had a boyfriend for fuck’s sake.

“I don’t think I’m traumatized,” Penny turned big, brown eyes on the blond and tilted her head down for effect, “but I might be a little shaken, like enough for a cake pop.”

She didn’t notice the way both of them gripped each other’s waists, as if having to hold each other up under the onslaught of her puppy dog eyes, or the way that the brunet pinched his boyfriend’s side to keep him from offering her the entire world on a platter if she asked for it.

“A cake pop it is, sweetheart,” Stevie (Steve, Penny she supposed she should probably call him) gave her a nearly blinding grin and she had to stop herself from taking a step back in awe, “What’ll you have to drink?”

“A vanilla latte? Please,” she cleared her throat slightly, “Steve, was it? And you are?”

“Call me Bucky,” the brunet held his hand out for her to take and she hesitated for only a second, reminding herself again that they were gay, gay, gay before she shook it, “What’s your name sweetheart?”

“I’m Penny, thank you guys for being so kind,” they’d made it to the register and she stepped aside slightly so that Steve could center himself in front of the barista.

“Large black coffee, large white mocha, and a large vanilla latte please,” he ordered politely, before putting his arm around Penny’s shoulder and nudging her towards the dessert display, “Which cake pop did you want doll?”

Penny had to literally reign herself in under the weight of his arm, to not go stiff in fear or swoon at the feeling, “t-the, uhm, chocolate one, please.”

“And a chocolate cake pop,” Steve directed the barista with a smile.

“And a blueberry scone,” Bucky interrupted, jabbing his finger at the case, “And one of those giant chocolate chip cookies.”

The barista glanced at Steve for confirmation, who just nodded in response and held out a matte black credit card, “you two go sit, I’ll bring everything out once it’s done.”

“Ah finally, let’s ditch this punk, sweetheart,” Bucky snatched Penny’s hand and tugged her away from the line, heading for a table in the corner that was recently vacated.

She just barely heard Steve scoff before they got too far away, letting Bucky pull out her chair before sitting down. It vaguely registered in the back of her mind that this was the most bizarrely pleasant situation she’d ever been in. Considering the amount of shit she dealt with on a regular basis, it was a breath of fresh air. It was kind of a shame she hadn’t met the pair of them before she’d started actively planning how to get thrown in jail.  

“I think Stevie made a mistake,” Bucky snorted, breaking her from her thoughts and drawing her attention to Steve, who was fumbling with three coffees and several pastries.

The squeaking noise she made upon standing to go help was not deliberate and actually kind of embarrassing. She was pretty sure Bucky laughed at it as she walked away, quickly stealing one of the coffees and two of the pastry bags from Steve’s hands.

“Thanks doll, nice to know one of you has some manners,” Steve shot his boyfriend a look as he and Penny sat down, winking at the brunet when she wasn’t looking.

“You know, you’re lucky you’re so good looking or I wouldn’t put up with this kind of BS,” Bucky stated casually, reaching over to snatch his mocha from Steve’s grasp.

Steve rolled his eyes but didn’t reply to his boyfriend, “so, Penny, what do you do?”

The casual opening for conversation made Penny immediately uncomfortable and she shifted in her seat as he passed over her coffee and cake pop, “oh, lots of things. Barista, day care, that sort of stuff.”

“Day care, huh? You a kid person?” Bucky asked as he took a sip of his coffee, grimacing slightly as he burnt his tongue, “that shit’s hot, watch your tongue, doll.”

Penny shifted the cup between her hands carefully but avoided drinking any, “Kids are precious. Annoying as all Hell sometimes, but I do like working with them. I’m usually with the infants anyway, toddlers occasionally. At that age they’re just cute.”

“We never been around kids too much,” Bucky shoved almost half of the blueberry scone into his mouth in one go, mumbling something around the bite immediately after.

Steve rolled his eyes and reached across the table from his place next to Penny, pulling the scone away and replacing it with a napkin, “manners, jerk. I think he was saying we’ve only been around older kids.”

Bucky nodded in response, picking up the napkin to wipe his face before gesturing for the rest of the scone. Instead of giving it back, Steve pushed it in front of Penny before resting his arm over the back of her chair.

“Let Penny have some before you murder the rest of it, Buck,” the blond admonished, “have at, sweetheart.”

“Oh, that’s alright, I don’t need any,” she shook her head and pushed the bag over to Bucky, “thank you though.”

“Nah doll, you eat the rest of this, I’m gonna hit this cookie.”

He repeated the process of sticking at least 50% of the cookie into his mouth in one go, chewing obnoxiously while Steve dropped his face into his hands in embarrassment.

“You’re a nightmare, I can’t believe I bring you out in public.”

Penny laughed happily at their exchange, enjoying the casual friendliness. She got so wrapped up in the whole experience that by the time she noticed the clock, two hours had gone by.

“Oh shit! I’ve got so much to do today and—crap, I’ve gotta go home so I can cancel my credit cards,” she slapped a hand against her forehead, finally remembering that she was busy today. A lot of planning went into getting put in jail for child neglect and she was dropping the ball.

“Here doll, you can borrow my phone to cancel your cards,” Steve started digging into his pocket but Penny waved him off.

“I have a phone, I just have to get on my computer to look up the numbers to call,” she stood up, shoving her hand into her purse to grab her phone, only to freeze.

Her fucking wallet was in her purse. A deep red blush spread over her cheeks and down her neck. It would’ve been one thing to have missed that her wallet was in her purse, but Steve had gone out of his way to pay for her coffee. Embarrassment coursed through her.

“Hey, what’s wrong sweetheart?” Bucky stood from his seat, hand coming to rest on her shoulder as he curled his shoulders down, making her feel engulfed by his presence.

“I,” she closed her eyes and inhaled sharply, “I’m so embarrassed. I just found my wallet, it was in my purse, I swear I wasn’t trying to scam you— it wasn’t in there, I know it wasn’t but now it is and I—”

“Calm down, sweetheart, its alright,” she’d been drawn in to an all-encompassing hug before she really knew what was happening, pressed tightly to Bucky’s chest with his hand gently stroking the back of her head, “we don’t think you scammed us, it was an honest mistake. We’re just glad you didn’t get robbed, right Stevie?”

“Absolutely, doll, I’m glad you found it,” Steve had stood up as well and was standing just beside the pair, close enough that she could feel his body radiating heat, “don’t be embarrassed, things like that happen.”

Tears were welling in Penny’s eyes; how the fuck had she come across such nice, kind people at such a time in her life, “sorry, I don’t mean to be so emotional. Just having a rough go of things, I guess. Look, I really do need to get going. Thank you both so much for being so nice.”

“You don’t have to thank us for being nice,” the blond gave a small grin, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder from where she was still wrapped in Bucky’s arms, “How about we get your phone number before you leave? We’d love to have you over for dinner some time.”

Penny hesitated for a moment as they both reached for their phones; what was the point of giving them her contact information? Her days of freedom were shortly numbered, if they tried to call her they’d think she was ignoring them when she never answered. But still, what was the harm— she’d never see them again most likely. Even when she got out of jail she’d have a record of child abuse and who the fuck wanted to be friends with a child abuser?

She quickly punched her number into their phones and waited for each of them to call her cell so she’d have theirs, “well, it was great meeting you guys! I’ll see you around, okay?”

“Are you going somewhere nearby?” Steve gave a wide smile as he stepped a bit closer, sweeping his arm between himself and Bucky, “we’d be happy to walk you.”

“Oh, that’s not necessary,” Penny shook her head, distracted enough by the phone in her hand and the text message she’d gotten from Peter at some point during their conversation that she didn’t notice the way Steve’s smile tightened, “I’m just going to the salon to get my hair done.”

“We’ll walk you doll,” Bucky’s grin was as charming as the rest of him and she tried not to swoon, “You can tell us who you’re so excited to hear from on the way.”

“Excited to hear from?” She frowned in confusion before the brunet gestured to her phone, “Oh! Just my little brother, he got a 100% on his chem test, highest grade in the class.”

“That’s wonderful, must be a real smart kid,” The expression on Steve’s face was soft and fond as he led them out the door, and Penny wondered if he was thinking of his own little sibling from the proud glint in his eye.

“Peter’s a genius, we always joke that when I was born I took all the chaos and left him all the IQ points,” she flipped her pay-as-you-go phone back open as she received another text from the kid in question, “although with how often he gets his ass beat at school maybe he did get a bit of chaos too. I should’ve taught him to fight but he’s scrawny and I always worried he’d break his wrist trying to punch someone.”

“He gets beat up a lot?” She didn’t look up from her phone, too busy replying to Peter to catch the furious expressions the boyfriends exchanged over her head as they continued down the street.

“Nerd on nerd violence is surprisingly common,” Penny pursed her lips and waved her hand flippantly, “and he doesn’t get beat up anymore. I paid this girl in his grade to beat up his main bully when they were in freshman year and then Peter became friends with her, so he doesn’t get messed with too much anymore. I guess Flash was just super pissed Peter got a better grade in chem this time around,” a careful shrug came as she opened a new text message, “MJ will take care of it. I can’t beat up minors anymore.”

“You paid a girl to beat a kid up?” There was a disapproving tone in Steve’s voice and Penny immediately stopped walking and texting, looking up at the blond with a scowl.

“If it laid hands on the kid they’d of slapped me with a lawsuit and taken Peter away. He was too small to fight for himself, so yea, I paid one of his classmates to beat the shit out of the boy who sent him home with a black eye and bruised ribs. And I’m not ashamed of it either, that little asshole deserved what he got,” she jabbed her finger at his chest and left it there forcefully, “If I could’ve beaten the shit out of that little punk for what he’d done, I would’ve in a heartbeat. MJ was my next best option. If you’ve got a problem with how I take care of my little brother, you can get fucked because I couldn’t care less what some stranger thinks of—”

“Hey, hey, doll,” Bucky quickly stepped in, cutting her off and gently taking her wrist to pull her hand away from Steve’s chest, “I’m sorry my man put his foot in it. He’s a dumbass, doesn’t think before he speaks and certainly doesn’t consider the impact of his words. Steve, apologize.”

Penny pulled her hand away from the brunet and lifted both in a placating gesture, “I’m not interested in an apology, it doesn’t matter anyway. I’ve really got to get going.”

“Wait!” Before she really knew what was happening, Steve had grabbed both her arms and stepped into her space, holding her tightly in place, “please wait, Penny, I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” she tried to pull her arms back but he held firm, keeping her far closer than she was comfortable with, “let go of me, please.”

“You take great care of your brother, Penny, I shouldn’t have judged how you decide to do that.”

Bucky came up right behind, boxing her in between the pair and put his arms on her shoulders when she tried to pull back again, “hey, calm down sweetheart, don’t get upset.”

“Get off me! Both of you!” A spark of panic was starting to shoot through her, voice rising as she yanked hard on her hands and bumped roughly back against Bucky, “Get the fuck off!”

“Hey, what’s going on over here?!” Penny’s head snapped to the left to see a little old lady barging her way through the crowd, garnering the attention of several other people on the way, “you let her go, right now!”

Bucky and Steve pulled away like they’d been burned, both with placating, placid looks on their faces. Penny didn’t stick around to see if they could talk their way out of the situation, taking off down the street in a dead run. They were so fucking charming, so handsome they could probably talk their way out of a paper bag. She continued straight passed the salon she’d planned to stop at and kept running until she couldn’t anymore. Her breath came in exhausting pants and she bent over, holding her chest.

What the fuck, how could such a pleasant morning go so badly so fast? Bucky and Steve had seemed so nice and then out of nowhere thought they could manhandle her however they pleased. She could still feel Steve’s hands circling her wrists, Bucky’s pressing down on her shoulders and her back against his chest. The sensation of being held down hadn’t just been terrifying but had brought back brutal memories of being assaulted.

Just like when she’d been attacked, fury pumped through her veins. Those assholes, those fucking assholes. Penny found herself heading down to the closest subway station and getting on the train towards home. Fuck the salon, fuck getting her nails done, all she wanted to do was crawl into Peter’s bed and hide under the covers. It was easy to forget about everything she had to do that day in the wake of her panic.

Peter was still texting her, she could feel her cell phone vibrating inside of her purse as she boarded the subway and sat down heavily. She’d been out of the apartment for hours, accomplished nothing, and was thoroughly exhausted. Her head dropped back against the window and she clenched her eyes shut. The blows just kept coming. What a nightmare.

#steve rogers x oc x bucky barnes #steve rogers x oc #bucky barnes x oc #dark!steve rogers #dark!bucky barnes #dark!tony stark #dark!mcu #let's review #let's review chapter 4

[takonei]

Beta AU - Main story, Chapter 2, daily life (Part 3)

Note of the author: To write is to suffer.

Also a week ago I had a test where I had to do a 70 word max commentary on something and that reminded me of the fact that I reached 20k words with this, and I’m not even done with chapter 2 smh

Chapter 2: The wolf and the lamb - Daily life

Day 7 since the beginning of the game. 7:00 AM.

Just like a few days ago, Shuichi couldn’t sleep well due to the upcoming event and what happened te day before. He stared at the ceiling for what felt like an eternity before deciding to get dressed and perhaps join those who have already woken up.

When he finally got out of his bedroom, he saw Miu going out as well. He caught up to her.

“Hey...”

She almost jumped at his presence. “Don’t lurk on me like that, jeez...”

That was absolutely not the case but none of them were in the mood for bickering. They walked to the dining hall in silence.

After a while Miu mumbled in a very low voice: “I’m sorry for yesterday.”

Shuichi took a while to think about a correct response. “Just make sure to talk to Kiyo about this.” She nodded.

There were surprisingly more people than expected. Kirumi, Keebo, Kokichi and Korekiyo were there.

“Good morning.” Korekiyo said, looking at the two.

“Sup.”

“Good morning...” Shuichi responded. “No one was able to sleep, huh?”

“This morning will be stressful for all of us, it’s normal.” Rantaro’s voice was heard as he entered the room, his hands full of tablets. Ryoma was behind him with a part of the tablets as well.

They put the tablets on the table. Shuichi and Miu helped them sort the kubs pads by group. The rest of them arrived one by one to eat their breakfast.

The morning announcement rang and the only people not there were Kaito and Himiko, which was weird considering Himiko’s energetic nature and Kaito was not exactly lazy.

About 15 minutes after, everybody was there. None of them really knew if they were impatient or didn’t want to see their videos.

They separated to make sure no one would hear other videos. After watching the videos, they were ordered to go back to the dining hall.

Shuichi’s group went to his lab, Rantaro’s group to his lab, Kirumi’s group to her lab and Kaede’s group to her lab.

There weren’t any chairs in Shuichi’s lab, so they sat on the floor to make sure everyone could watch.

Shuichi asked if any of them wanted to watch their video first.

“Me. If you guys don’t mind.” Miu said, the regret in her voice.

After making sure he took the right one, he put it down for the others to watch.

Miu Iruma’s motive video What is your motive!?

Miu took a deep breath. She was faintly shaking.

“Who’s the most important person in *your* life? And now without further ado...”

A picture appeared on the screen.

The kid was not older than 4 or 5 years old.

Shuichi glanced at her. her eyes were red and he could see tears form in her eyes.

“Miu Iruma, the ultimate Street artist...

Famous all around the country for her *marvelous* fluorescent paintings in the streets.

Contrary to popular belief, she wasn’t seeking fame and fortune. Her goal was to protect the only person she truly cherishes, her adopted son.”

Shuichi took a deep breath. He hoped the other videos don’t make them as emotional.

“Our team has managed to get in contact and talk to him. He misses his dear mother terribly, what kind of kid wouldn’t after all? Let’s hear the poor, lonely child’s cry for help then!”

That was just sadism at this point. No wonder Miu completely snapped after watching this. She had a hand on her mouth, holding herself back from breaking into tears.

“Mommy?”

The kid, “Kaz” as she called him, appeared on the screen, sitting on a couch. Miu closed her eyes and faced the ground.

“I don’t understand what’s happening but I believe in mom! I know she can do this! Don’t ever give up! Mom is the strongest mom I’ve ever known, I’m sure no matter what happens, she'll be able to surpass it, I love you mom!”

Kaito pat her back in confort. It was hard for them to watch this, but they couldn’t even begin to imagine how she felt.

Monokuma’s voice continued. “He believes in his mother more than anyone else. Will Miu be able to gather enough strength for him?

Ah, yes... One more thing...

Shortly after our discussion, that brat suffered an unfortunate accident.”

The others frowned.

“What kinda accident? It’s a secret! Find out for yourself. Puhuhuhuhu...”

The screen went black. Miu was clenching to her stomach. She wanted to scream.

Kiyo was most likely thinking about something to calm her down. He set the tablet aside. “We can pause for a moment if you need some time.”

She took a deep breath. A shaky breath. “Don’t- Don’t worry about me. Continue if you want to.”

Kiyo didn’t back down. “The others will understand if we spend more time in this room than we intended at first.”

She nodded, looking at the ground. About five minutes later she had calmed down enough to start another video.

“Is anyone volunteering to watch their video?” Kiyo asked.

“I... I think I can handle it.” Kaito said. He was unsure, but so was the rest of the group.

“Alright. I’m turning on the tablet.”

Once again, the screen lightened up to show the video.

Kaito Momota’s motive video What is your motive!?

Kaito took a deep breath. He was trying to hide his nervousness, but it really showed on his face.

“Who’s the most important person in *your* life? And now without further ado...”

The picture had Kaito with a motorcycle and a gold medal, with his grandparents proudly smiling at their grandson.

“Kaito Momota, the Ultimate Biker...

While he is possibly one of the most loyal member of the biker gang he considers his second family, how could you possibly forget his real one?”

Kaito clenched his fists, but said nothing.

“Thaaaaat’s right! He gave a major part of the money he earned to his own grandparents. How adorable!

I mean his parents couldn’t even do the job of taking care of their own son, yet same son takes care of his grandparents. How ironic!

... Or not.”

Kaito’s expression was unreadable.

“What kind of son would abandon his family while an unfortunate event is affecting them in the worst ways possible?

What happened, you may ask? Find out for yourself! Puhuhuhu!”

The screen went black.

There was a short silence that felt like an eternity.

Shuichi was hesitant, but he spoke first. “You okay...?”

Kaito took a deep breath and exhaled. “I’m fine. We can talk about this later, let’s just move on.”

Kiyo raised an eyebrow an stared at him to get at least a glimpse of emotion. He sighed.

“Shuichi, do you wish to see your video now or do you want me to go first?”

He nodded. “Let’s just get this over with.”

He didn’t tell the others about the feeling that something would go wrong very soon. But he couldn’t say anything. After all Kaito and Miu already showed their videos, that would be unfair for them to stop there.

Shuichi Saihara’s motive video What is your motive!?

“Who’s the most important person in *your* life? And now without further ado...”

Shuichi took a deep breath.

A picture of a middle aged man, a young woman about 20 years old and Shuichi himself appeared. He recognized them as his uncle and his cousin.

“Shuichi Saihara, the Ultimate Violinist...

He has made his own reputation thanks to his parents, ironic considering the fact that the the boy probably saw them less times than I saw dead bodies in a killing game.”

Shuichi winced.

“Since those ‘2popular4you’ idiots weren’t capable of taking care of a single person they left the poor child to his uncle, who took care of him like his own son. Such a nice family, right?”

A wave of nostalgia hit Shuichi. The time spent with them between concerts, the games he used to play with his cousin...

“But all good things come to an end! Those two got taken away in an unfortunate accident.

But what kind of incident? It’s for you to find out!”

The screen turned off. Shuichi was lost in thoughts. He wanted to say that he would get them back no matter the cost but yesterday’s experience made him reconsider his words. Perhaps that’s what Kaito was thinking too after he watched his own video.

He didn’t realize how long he’s been thinking until Korekiyo put a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

“Ah- Yes, I’m fine. Just... Nostalgic.”

He faintly heard Miu say “I get you.”

Kaito looked at Shuichi with unease. Like he wanted to say something to reassure him but didn’t find the words to do so.

Korekiyo took the last tablet in his hands. “I guess it’s finally my turn.”

He took a deep breath and turned the tablet on.

Korekiyo Shinguji’s motive video What is your motive!?

“Who’s the most important person in *your* life? And now without further ado...”

The picture featured him and a young woman a bit older than him.

“Korekiyo Shinguji, the Ultimate Therapist...

Able to help people et through the worst traumas the world could inflict. A genius dedicated to heal psychological scars...

Even for his own sister who had sunken into insanity before his precious help. He dedicated his entire life to help poor traumatized sister.”

Kiyo was completely silent and unreadable, it was almost scary.

“She was already borderline psychotic without her sweet brother, but now that he disappeared... Puhuhuhuh! I can only imagine the consequences!

But the wild lady didn’t enjoy her brother’s absence very long due to an accident. But what accident? See after graduation!”

The last video was over. Kiyo retrieved the rest of the tablets. “Before you ask me, i’m fine. Seeing the rest of your videos prepared me for mine.”

He stood up. “Once again, if any of you need anything, I’ll be here.”

Shuichi stood up as well. “You sure? I don’t think that’s very healthy to put the sake of everyone else on your shoulders, even for you...”

He shook his head. “I can assure you I’ll be fine. I will talk to you if it’s necessary, since that’s what this group is for.”

Miu and Kaito joined them. “So... Should we go to the dining hall?”

Shuichi nodded. But Kiyo looked at Miu. “You two go without us, I need to talk to Miu first.”

Miu gave them a weak thumbs-up, leaving the two boys.

As they were walking, Shuichi turned to Kaito. “You heard Kiyo... If you need any help he or I can talk to you. We’re in the same boat, right?”

The biker turned to him, then smiled. “Alright bro. We’re the ‘our parents are garbage and decent people in the family took care of us’ gang, right?” He extended his fist.

Shuichi chuckled and fist bumped Kaito. “Hehe, kinda...”

After seconds of silence Shuichi was still nervous. “Do you think the others are okay?”

Kaito scratched the back of his neck. “Well I hope so... Can’t guarantee anything though.”

They reached the dining hall to see both Kirumi and Kaede’s groups. However Rantaro’s group was still absent.

They were all more or less neutral, or hiding their expressions. Kaede, however, didn’t look well. Maki was patting her back in comfort. But judging by the silence of the room, now was not the time.

Kirumi raised an eyebrow. “Where is the rest of your group?”

A voice came from behind them. “Right here.”

It was Kiyo, with Miu. They looked around and noticed Rantaro’s group’s absence as well. “I see that Rantaro, Kokichi and Himiko did not return.

Keebo looked puzzled. “I don’t really get it, they were 3 and yet they’re the last group to come.”

Kirumi crossed her arms. “Our group was the first to come, and we were only 3. Tsumugi, you said your group watched the videos all at once almost without pausing.”

She turned to Shuichi. “I assume that’s not your case?” her eyes were fixed on his’ like he was her prey.

“Y-Yes, Kiyo suggested to take a breath between the videos.”

Talking about Miu’s reaction was a bad idea, for now.

They waited the last group five minutes before they entered the dining hall. Rantaro looked nervous, Himiko was trying to hide her distress and Kokichi’s eyes were almost as red as Miu’s when they finished her video.

Kiyo hesitated for a moment but spoke anyway. “If any of you need support or therapy sessions I’ll be available. However I cannot force you. Just consider the offer available anytime.”

Kokichi nodded. Rantaro weakly smiled. “Thanks a lot, Kiyo. Your help is more than welcome.”

Shuichi exhaled a breath. But he couldn’t stop feeling nervous. What did those three even see in those videos?

Maki lifted her head. “And now? Is there anything we should do about the videos or-”

“Oh, I know!!” a high pitched voice was heard.

Monokuma popped up out of nowhere as usual.

“Sheesh, you guys were slow watching those videos, I almost wanted to break in those binge-watch sessions. Waiting was bor-”

“Get to the point already.” Rantaro ordered.

The bear laughed. “Puhuhuhuhu! I’m glad you said so!”

He jumped on the table to make sure everyone was listening.

“Watching you guys cooperate to fight despair was interesting, really! Which is why it gave me an idea... For a new motive!”

Shuichi’s eyes widened. “What?”

“You heard me, music-boy! You guys talk so much about cooperating and helping each other, it gave me a splendid idea!”

“Let me present you... The accomplice perk!”

The others looked at him nervously. No one liked where this was going.

“Here are the rules. The next blackened, if they manage to get away with their crime, will be able to take one person with them, and they will graduate together!”

This was the last thing they needed. They had just watched their videos. They knew each other’s secrets. Monokuma knew they were watching the videos. Without realizing it, they all fell into a trap they hadn’t anticipated. 

“Now do what you want with this, I just want a crime with an accomplice or something. I haven’t seen these in decades!” He disappeared, leaving everyone to themselves.

...

“Well fuck.” Kaito broke the silence.

“No human language can describe the disappointment I'm feeling right now.” Kiyo added, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Shuichi turned to Ryoma. He was reading something on his monopad. After a few seconds he left the room with one of the tablets, presumably his own.

“Where are you going exactly?” Kirumi asked. Ryoma didn’t give an answer. The others were confused.

They heard glass shattering, an object thrown to the ground and stepped on. Shuichi and Rantaro rushed to the kitchen and saw Ryoma, his kubs pad on the ground, shattered to pieces. He looked at them with the most neutral expression possible. “Mind giving me a hand?”

Rantaro raised an eyebrow. “You’re planning on destroying all the tablets?”

Ryoma took the large pieces off the ground. “It’s not against the school rules. We watched the videos. No need for them anymore.”

Rantaro narrowed his eyes. “At least let’s discuss it with everyone.”

They returned to the dining hall to see the others confused. “I was already planning to do this before Monokuma’s second motive. Now is just another reason to do so.”

“H-Hold on! We can’t just destroy them like that!” Miu exclaimed.

“The sooner, the better. I smashed my own tablet. Feel free to do so as well.”

Shuichi was hesitant. “What if... We want to keep at least a souvenir of the people on it? To at least give us some strength to continue...” he trailed off when he saw Kokichi walking off to the kitchen and coming back with about several sharp knives. He proceeded to destroy his tablet without a word as the others were watching. Himiko kept her gaze on the ground.

“Do what you want with your tablets, but I’m not watching this again.”

Shuichi could read a small bit of satisfaction on his face.

Kirumi took hers and did the same. “I get that some of you hold some people close to your heart, but some of us aren’t that lucky.”

Tsumugi destroyed her tablet as well. “It’s for the best.”

Shuichi looked at his reflection on the black screen. He didn’t want to forget them. He really didn’t.

Rantaro spoke up. “Miu, Angie, you two are quite skilled in the field of art, right?”

Miu nodded. Angie kept swinging her legs under the table. “Yup! Yup! Let me guess, you want us to recreate their portraits so we can destroy the tablets anyway?”

“Yes. We’ll have to do without their voices. It’s just to make sure no one watches someone else’s video outside of the groups.”

She hummed for a few seconds. “I’m okay with this, but first!”

She stood up, put the tablet on her chair and smashed it with the giant paintbrush she carries at all times. The tablet was almost perfectly broken in half.

“Done! If you need my help to create something for you, just ask!” she said almost too cheerily for someone who just destroyed the last connection she had with the outside world.

But Shuichi was more surprised to see Kiyo destroying his tablet. From what the video said, he didn’t hate his sister from the look of things. But he shouldn’t assume how he was feeling.

Rantaro himself put his tablet on the ground. He made a quick salute. “So long, partners.” he smashed the tablet several times to make sure it didn’t work anymore.

“It looks like half of us already destroyed their tablets. It’s a good start. I know this won’t solve everything but if we can get them out of the way that would be better.” he added.

To everyone’s surprise, Kaede threw the tablet on the floor to destroy it.

“I... I miss my family. I really do. But...”

She looked at the rest of the group with a newly found confidence. “I don’t want it to make me do things I’ll regret. So if destroying these will help us move forward... Then so be it.”

Rantaro sighed in relief. Maki looked at her, surprised by her -friend-’s words, but she was not mad.

Keebo smiled. “The I’ll take care of it as well.” about ten seconds later, his tablet was no more.

There were now 5 kubs pads intact: Kaito’s, Miu’s, Himiko’s, Maki’s and Shuichi’s. They all looked at each other. The peer pressure was growing, and Shuichi was holding onto his tablet more and more tightly.

Rantaro approached him. “Hey, we suggested the idea of at least keeping the portraits. You don’t have to feel pressured into destroying the tablet right now.”

Shuichi smiled. “Thank you. I just... Think I need a reminder of why I’m fighting against this killing game. So if Miu can make at least a sketch of my family portrait that would be really nice.” He looked at her with a genuine smile. Her eyes widened for a few seconds before smiling back.

“Alright, if any of you wants some family portrait, I’ll be in my lab for the rest of the day making them.”

Rantaro smiled at her. “Thank you for your service Miu.” He turned to the rest of the group.

“I’ll go with them to make sure everything goes smoothly. If any of you need Kiyo’s help or advice, don’t hesitate to ask him. I’m counting on you all to maintain this group together.”

He turned to the ones with their tablets still intact. “Miu, Kaito, Himiko, Maki and Shuichi, we’ll go to Miu’s lab for the portraits.”

“Oh! Oh! May I join??” Angie raised her hand.

Miu chuckled. “Alright, Twinkle! Show me what you got!”

They left to the street artist’s lab. Shuichi didn’t feel good going back after... The previous incident, but he didn’t have a choice. He looked at Miu, she was chatting with Rantaro. At least she looked better than after watching her motive video.

He noticed Himiko being rather silent. He decided to start the conversation. “You okay?”

The small girl lifted her head. “Oh, don’t worry! I’m just worried about... You know...”

“Your family?” he finished. But she shook her head.

“No, I’m worried about Kokichi.”

Shuichi didn’t expect this. “Oh... Right...”

“I know he isn’t a bad person... I just know it... But he is so convinced that he is I just... Don’t know what to say to him.”

Shuichi had absolutely no idea on what was on his video. He wasn’t in the right to ask, and Himiko was certainly not in the right to tell him about it.

“I don’t really know that much about him but...” he put a hand on her shoulder. “Stay by his side. It’s easy to tell he likes you, you know?”

Her eyes widened. “Really?”

He hummed. “I talked to him the other day, he doesn’t really get why you like him so much, but he doesn’t complain. I guess he is just very shy and anxious?”

Himiko clenched her fists, but more in a determined manner than an angry one. “Then I’ll help him overcome it! I know he wants to better himself, so I’ll help him!”

Shuichi smiled and ruffled her hair. “You’re a good person Himiko. I’m glad he has someone like you to help him.”

She wiped a small tear in the corner of her eye. “Oh! I’ll ask Angie to add him on my family picture!”

Shuichi chuckled. “Also, try to encourage him to seek out help to Kiyo if he hasn’t already. We have the Ultimate therapist with us. That’s quite convenient.”

She hummed. “I will!”

They arrived at Miu’s lab. Angie turned to Miu. “Soooo how do we split the work?”

Miu clicked her tongue. “Depends on how they want to stylise the portrait. Either something fancy with you, or something modern with me.”

Himiko jumped. “Angie! Can you do mine?”

She smiled. “Of course!”

They shared the work. Miu would work on the family portraits of Shuichi, Kaito and herself.

Angie took Himiko and Maki with her.

The rest of the morning was spent finding ideas. Angie may not have her lab open, but Miu had enough materials to make the portraits.

Kirumi brought them lunch so the girls wouldn’t loose their focus.

Miu’s group brought paint to Shuichi’s lab to do her work. Shuichi had gathered several music sheets and after taping them on the wall, Miu used them as a canvas.

Shuichi was very impressed by the final result. It was easy to see that Miu put her whole heart and soul into it.

“So? How’s that for you?” she proudly asked.

Shuichi felt tears in the corner of his eyes. “It’s really impressive. Thanks a lot, Miu. I’m really glad you accepted to do this for me. That means a lot.”

She looked at her with a weak smile. “Don’t sweat it. I can only get what it’s like to miss your family.”

Shuichi looked at the portrait for a good thirty seconds. Thankfully Kaito and Miu didn’t say anything.

“I think we should move on. Let’s just find something to smash this thing.” he broke the silence.

After destroying the tablet they saw Angie working on an impressive portrait with its frame, all made using origami. Rantaro was observing, since he didn’t have the necessary skills to help.

Then went on Kaito’s family portrait. Surprisingly he didn’t want something too different from reality, so Miu simply made a reproduction of the picture offered by the kubs pad.

Angie, Himiko, Rantaro and Maki left for the latter’s lab.

Kirumi had come to clean up the broken tablets. When asked where she was even putting them, she said Ryoma could use some of the components with some tools from the warehouse, but that it was fine since there was no possibility to recover the parts containing the videos specifically, or just being able to watch any video at all.

She had stayed to watch Miu paint a part of the giant walls. The portrait of her son was astonishing. If Shuichi’s family portrait was wonderful, hers was simply divine.

Kirumi had just assumed it was her little brother, so Kaito and Shuichi went along with it since it was easier to explain.

By the time they were finished, it was about 6 PM. Kirumi also took the broken pieces of Maki’s tablet.

The evening came, and everyone felt definitely better than they were at the beginning of the day after Monokuma announced the second motive. After all, all of the tablets were destroyed, which lifted the anxiety the majority was feeling.

After dinner, Shuichi, Kaito and Rantaro went outside to talk.

They were mostly relieved that Miu had managed to calm down. Kiyo even told them that she would get a therapy session the next day after the morning announcement and breakfast.

However Rantaro felt off.

“Is something wrong?” Shuichi asked.

He lifted his head to look at him. “Oh, nothing. I’m just a bit anxious about what Monokuma will come up with next. To make sure everyone gets along is a challenge here.”

He chuckled. “Even back on the front lines we cooperated more. But that doesn’t really matter now.”

Kaito smiled. “Hey, it’s not the best situation, but we can manage! Look at us today, we managed to open up even more!”

He extended his fist. “We’re doing good, so let’s just continue sticking with each other. Man’s promise?”

Rantaro laughed. “Whatever you call it. Man’s promise.” he extended his fist as well.

Shuichi was a bit nervous, but did so anyway. “Yeah. Man’s promise as you say.”

They left to go back to the dorms, but Shuichi decided to go to his lab for a while, to look at his family portrait one last time.

Even after hours it was still eye candy to him. She really had managed to capture their essence, and even his passion for violin with the music sheets used as a canvas.

After a few minutes he left his lab.

Just when he was about to go to his room he noticed Kaede, visibly nervous, leaving her room.

“You okay?” he asked.

She almost jumped. “Yes, don’t worry about me I’ll just... Go write on my notebook. It helps me relax.”

Shuichi was almost not convinced. “If you say so... Just don’t wander too much in the hallways, alright?”

She smiled. “Of course! It’s only to clear my mind. Those times have been quite stressful, you know?”

He nodded. “I know... But how can you be inspired in times like these?”

She chuckled. “You know, sometimes it’s less about inspiration and more about a way to mentally escape this cage. A sparrow may be nothing but a prey to a man, but it will fly further than the man will ever be able to.”

Shuichi smiled. “That’s a nice way of thinking.”

“Oh well, maybe I’m just rambling. See you tomorrow!” She left.

Hopefully tomorrow would be fine.

...

Day 8 since the beginning of the game. 7:30 AM.

Shuichi woke up feeling rested. He felt the worry slowly fading away, and more and more determined to end the game.

After dressing up he walked to the dining hall, only to see that no one was there. He couldn’t even ask himself why he was alone when he heard it.

The cursed music, and the voice he resented more than anything.

“Ding dong, dong ding!”

“A body has been discovered!”

“Everyone, please gather at the library!”

Shuichi froze.

“What...?”

He didn’t even think. He rushed to the basement, only to see Kirumi, Rantaro, Kiyo and Ryoma looking at the table that he could not see because of the pile of books.

He slowly approached them. That’s when he saw it.

On one of the chairs rested the inanimate body...

... Of Kaede Akamatsu, the Ultimate writer.

#ndrv3 #danganronpa v3 #ndrv3 au #beta au #main story

[carewyncromwell]

Jacob/Duncan

XDD Considering that this request came into my Askbox five times in rapid succession, I’m going to guess that someone REALLY wants to hear more about these two!! LOL!! Don’t worry, I will always love talking about my precious ghost boi and my book-smart, people-dumb spaceman. <3

Jacob/Duncan

Ship Theme: I Don’t Know How to Love Him (cover) by Helen Reddy 

Okay, so a lot of this is based just on back-story I’ve developed for my version of Jacob -- Jacob Cromwell -- and his Duncan, since I know there are plenty of people who don’t ship their Jacob with Duncan and there’s a lot the game leaves vague about these two and their past.

Much like Rowan and Carewyn, Duncan and Jacob were each other’s first real friend. Since Jacob’s father was a Muggle, Jacob didn’t learn that he was a wizard until after he received his Hogwarts letter, and so in grade school, he was largely (and kind of unfairly) seen as a delinquent troublemaker for the fights he’d get into with the people who tried to bully him and the magical outbursts that would sometimes ensue. Duncan, meanwhile, lost his mother at a very young age and subsequently had a huge falling-out with his father when he married another woman (who Duncan suspected his father had been romantically involved with while his mother was ill) mere months after his mother’s death. This made Duncan as a boy spend a lot of time with his mother’s parents, just to get away from his father and stepmother, and his maternal grandparents tutored him from their home since Duncan refused to be homeschooled by his new stepmother.

Duncan and Jacob first collided when the first years all had to take boats across the Lake with Hagrid to get to school, and Jacob and Duncan ended up in the same one. Jacob had been so enamored with the castle that he’d tripped over his own two feet and landed full on in Duncan’s lap. The two boys quickly dislodged, and Duncan rather bluntly asked if Jacob was Muggle-born. Jacob said no rather shortly, considering that the Muggle father he disliked so much had just walked out on his family, but within seconds any irritation in his expression was completely gone as he once again became entranced with the school they were approaching. Duncan kept shooting the weird boy looks the entire trip, thoroughly confused since even if the school was impressive, he probably wouldn’t look so love-struck by it himself. Duncan will likely never forget when the first years all entered the Great Hall and Jacob walked the entire way up the hall staring with an open-mouthed smile and starry eyes at all of the floating candles as if he were a kid at Christmas.

Because the two ended up in different houses (Slytherin and Ravenclaw), Duncan didn’t interact with Jacob again until they started having classes together. Jacob pretty quickly became the star pupil in just about every class, which both weirded Duncan out and irritated him considering that Jacob clearly hadn’t known anything about magic beforehand. Duncan probably would’ve nurtured cold resentment toward Jacob were it not for the Ravenclaw one day approaching Duncan in the library, randomly asking him seemingly out of nowhere about the location of the Slytherin commonroom. Duncan sputtered, perfectly bewildered, as Jacob -- in typical confident, airhead scholar fashion -- explained that he’d developed a theory that each of the four houses’ commonrooms were themed around a classical element, with Ravenclaw obviously being air, considering its eagle mascot and location high up in Ravenclaw Tower; Gryffindor being fire for its warm color scheme, Hufflepuff being earth for its association with Herbology and badgers, and therefore Slytherin being water. “Is your commonroom under the Lake?” Jacob pressed curiously. Duncan at first was very defensive about the question, declaring that his commonroom and its location were none of Jacob’s business and rather coolly adding that if Jacob even tried to sneak into the Slytherin commonroom, he’d probably get hexed by a couple dozen older students. Jacob contemplated this for a moment -- then, completely nonplussed, he said with a determined white smile, “...All right -- then I’ll just follow you! No sneaking necessary.” Jacob then proceeded to follow Duncan around for the rest of the day, much to Duncan’s utter exasperation -- but the incident, which did include Duncan actually holding the wall open long enough that Jacob could get a nice long look at his commonroom, made him realize two things about his classmate: 1, that Jacob Cromwell, however smart he was in class, was an absolute idiot; and 2, that he saw the world with a kind of depth and wonder that Duncan had never experienced before.

The two started sitting in class together, and through the years, Duncan found himself enjoying himself at school more and more, being around Jacob and his infectious fascination with everything. It made Duncan come out of his shell and become both snarkier and more prone to mischief -- and Jacob, ever enamored with excitement, was always thrilled to take part. Soon enough Jacob’s housemate Olivia joined their friend circle, and the three got into a lot of trouble and adventures while at school, especially once they started pursuing the Cursed Vaults.

It was circa fourth year that Duncan really started becoming aware of how deep his feelings for Jacob had gotten, but he was all too aware both of how ignorant Jacob was of them and of how intimidated he himself was, feeling them to begin with. Duncan’s grandparents -- the only family members he was still on good terms with -- were conservative enough that Duncan wasn’t sure how well they’d take him being interested in another guy, and Duncan and Jacob would get into petty arguments often enough that Duncan was afraid that their friendship wouldn’t last if they got serious and then broke up. Jacob, for his part, was completely unaware both of Duncan’s feelings for him and his own deepening feelings for Duncan, but subconsciously expressed them from time to time all the same.

One prominent example was when one of their yearmates, a Gryffindor named Sharon Edgecombe, tried to drug Duncan with a Love Potion so he’d ask her to a school dance. Fortunately Jacob figured out very quickly that Duncan’s drink had been compromised after catching a whiff of an unfamiliar smell and, after determining that Olivia, he, and Duncan each smelled different things, he pretty quickly deduced that it was a Love Potion. Without telling Olivia or Duncan, Jacob took some of the drugged drink with him and tried to dilute its ingredients to figure out who had sent the Potion, and he eventually found out that it would’ve made someone fall in love with Sharon Edgecombe. Furious, Jacob went up to the dance now in progress and confronted Sharon. Sharon rather unconvincingly denied having given Duncan the Love Potion, but once her date was out of ear-shot, she made the mistake of muttering under her breath that Jacob was just mad he hadn’t been smart enough to think of doing it first. Jacob in retaliation shoved Sharon so hard that she landed back-first into the punch bowl and brought the entire concession table down with her. Sharon’s date (a rather tough-looking Beater on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team) immediately whipped out his wand, preparing to attack Jacob, when who should come to his rescue but Duncan, who’d run over with Olivia at the sound of the commotion and hexed the Beater with a spell that made sardines spill out of his nose. Duncan and Jacob both ended up in detention and missed the rest of the event, but Olivia was able to pinch a bundle of blue-fire-enchanted streamers from the dance, which the three split and used to decorate their four-poster beds.

After the loss of Olivia, who had often played peace-keeper whenever Duncan and Jacob got into arguments, the two boys found themselves more at odds. What had been fun and exciting had suddenly become very dangerous, and they both knew it. Duncan was willing to push through because of his ambition to be a Cursebreaker, while Jacob found himself only pushing through out of a desire to make up for what had happened to Olivia and to keep R from hurting his mother and sister. A lot of what went down with R and Duncan’s death is still unclear in the game, but the last present Duncan gave Jacob before his death was a set of scarlet dress robes, handsomer and better in quality than anything Jacob had ever owned before. Not long after that, Jacob was expelled from Hogwarts and he found out second-hand that Duncan had died. The two events back-to-back shattered Jacob’s entire world -- now not only did he have no future and no chance of escaping R’s web, but he was now completely alone...and he only had himself to blame. It’s very likely that -- were it not for the memory of his younger sister, Carewyn -- Jacob would’ve ended his life that night. When Rakepick persuaded Jacob to help her with the Portrait Vault, with the thought that he could finally make things right, Jacob wore Duncan’s robes on his mission -- and since he’s been released from the Vault, he’s worn them ever since, with the thought that he wants to be wearing them when he destroys R once and for all.

Duncan and Jacob’s relationship, for me, has ripples of the Steve/Bucky relationship from the MCU if their romance wasn’t totally teased and then never followed through on >>. They each are sort of “out of their own time,” as Duncan died at age 17 and Jacob is still 18 after having been locked in a portrait for seven years. They each were condemned to a fate that was their own worst fear -- Duncan’s fear of being insignificant made him not cross over to the next life, since he would’ve died having accomplished nothing of value, while Jacob’s fear of being trapped and unable to move is brought to terrifying life by his traumatic experience in the Portrait Vault. They each cared so much for each other, but either out of pride or ignorance was unable to act on those feelings before it was too late. This makes it so that Duncan and Jacob, in a strange way, are also each the only one who can truly understand what the other has gone through and is currently going through. For all of Duncan’s resentment, thinking that Jacob didn’t care about his death, he knows somewhere deep inside of him that that resentment comes from his own insecurities about how little he thinks his life meant and how much time he and Jacob wasted. Duncan hates how much his memories of Jacob still hurt him, and it’s only really after meeting and befriending Carewyn that he’s slowly starting to come to grips with how much he’s projected onto Jacob in a vain attempt to absolve himself of his own guilt. And on Jacob’s side, the loss of Duncan has made Jacob more afraid than ever before of losing his mother and especially Carewyn.

But yeah, as if you couldn’t tell, I ship these two to the moon and back. They may not live happily-ever-after, but I’d like to imagine some time, way, way, WAY in the future, their reunion in the after-life would be a very happy event for both of them.

Ship Ask!

#ooc #duncan ashe #jacob cromwell #jacob #hphm #hogwarts mystery #opinion #analysis #ship ask #that art at the top was like...the first time I ever drew duncan and only the second time I'd ever drawn jacob #it's weird seeing how much my art's changed over the span of a few months!

[strangcrdoctor]

For the mun, what's one headcanon you haven't formally posted but is integral to Stephen as a character?

∞Hooooo buckets. You had to go and ask me a good question. Um, there are a few that I haven’t expressly written out, so I might just do them all here and finally get them out on paper… metaphorically. Whatever.

✒ My Stephen didn’t have a bad relationship with his father. I understand the fandom is drawing from some source material (which frankly I haven’t found and this headcanon has been a part of my Stephen all along so whatever), but I don’t see Stephen as someone who really models having “daddy” issues. He has family trauma because his entire family unit died before he was 25. In my headcanon, yes Stephen and his father were very different. Eugene was a farmer, with a genius, academically inclined son. And frankly, knowing a lot of farming families, farmer fathers and sons just tend to be like oil and water even when they’re similarly driven. There’s always some distinction between the two, a separation. And it can be loving, but more often is expressed as a distant but respectful caring. I see that being the manner of relationship Eugene and Stephen functionally had. Which is why losing his family was so hugely wounding for a young Stephen. He had to see every painstaking moment of their demise, and part of why he became so stunted isn’t because he hated them - it’s because he loved them. All of them. His father, mother, sister, and brother gave him a strong foundation on which to build his confidence, his empathy, and his identity, and he had it all pulled out from underneath him. Which is why Stephen also twisted his relationship with medicine because of that traumatic sequence: he cares about people, cares about the work he does so much. But he’s guarded, he stays distant because he got to a point when he was younger that he didn’t know how much more breaking down he could take should he be close with others before he disintegrated entirely. Hence, my next headcanon…

✒ Stephen at his core isn’t the selfish bastard that the fandom makes him out to be so fucking often. I see people making him a cold megalomaniac sometimes and I know that the comics often do a great job of giving him that melodramatic flair, but that’s not my Stephen. My Stephen puts everything he has into his work out of a motivation to succeed, because if he fails, he knows it will break him in the way his late childhood trauma never had the chance to. It’s why after his accident he hit rock bottom - that final hammer-stroke finally happened. But it speaks to his character that even when he thought he had nothing left but his work - because his heart and his compassion hadn’t done anything to save his family - it turned out that his love and caring were everything he ever needed in order to be truly amazing. And when he sewed those inherent parts of himself into his wielding of magic, allowed saving life and using that power to protect what he cares about rather than trying not to feel anything, he fulfilled the capacity he’d been trying to bury for so long. There’s a damn good reason why Stephen was able to reclaim that goodness, and it’s not because he, at age ~40, had to just learn it from scratch. It’s because it was there all along, and had just been neglected.

✒ This boi is 1701% hydrophobic. Granted, it’s not like he’s afraid of getting into the shower or going for a swim - Stephen actually swam as his primary workout for most of his adult life (hence his body/muscle type). However, his worst nightmares are about drowning, and he has one persistent recurring dream about drowning being the way he dies. His accident, and being trapped so close to and partially submerged in water while washing in and out of consciousness, on top of the trauma of seeing his sister drown without being able to save her, has seriously demonized water as death in his subconscious. So if you really want to torture him, leave him trapped around water and he will 11/10 wig the hell out. It’s by far his most severe trigger.

✒ Stephen considers himself a ride-or-die New Yorker. He was at Columbia during 9/11, was at Metro General working triage during The Incident, and honest to god refuses to be run out of the city that’s made, broken, and remade his identity. New York pride? Fuck yeah baby. He’s got every chintzy attraction mug, magnet, and t-shirt the city has to offer, and makes no bones about giving recommendations when he inevitably gets pulled aside by tourists like every other New Yorker. He’s a dork. Let him live.

✒ The man fucking drinks coffee. What the fuck. Yeah he likes tea as well, and in fact likes them both about equally. But he went through graduate school, med school, residency, and an entire career of being on-call for mandatory periods. And for long fucking before caffeine alternatives started coming out in more palatable forms. I just kinda shake my head at the part of the fandom that makes him this soft, wibbly, herbal-tea purist because just. Have you gone in for advanced degrees? Have you tried staying awake for 42 hours without some kind of caffeine? And I’m sorry, but the fru fru teas and super-energy drinks weren’t around in the 90s and Aughts. You know what was the whole time? Black ass coffee. And especially as an insomniac nerd mystical researcher, there are nights when black tea just doesn’t cut it my dudes.

I think those are the biggest ones I’ve bottled up and just refused to say for the longest time, so thanks nonnie for letting me air my stupid character grievances.∞

#''prescriptions #''CV #Anonymous