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#one of the moderators left us with this quote and it just hits
okami-zero · 11 months
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"You can't come here"
*watches latest G-Witch*
There it is! The seething vengeance behind that mirthless smile, hidden by a helm that obscure the eyes. Possible spoilers below (but if you are keeping up with the show, not really).
I was waiting for it. Waiting to see behind her facade, to see what embers smoldered that burned away Elnora Samaya and left Prospera Mercury. The remnants of her motherly love for her child twisted to create a weapon from her child/children. With a remaining desparate (mad, perhaps?) hope to resurrect her daughter through the use of Quiet Zero to rewrite reality. (This always goes SO WELL whenever it's attempted. /s)
Lots of people are debating/speculating that the GUND-Bits are failed Eri clones, using Ple and her clones from Gundam ZZ as a parallel. However, based on what we saw when she nearly fried Elan-But-Not-Really's brain, if she is just Permet data now... perhaps they are merely copies. Or shards. Connected and with a limited independence, but still linked to Eri's core consciousness. The fact that Aerial can act on it's own without Suletta's input (seen in the fight with Sophie) is also concerning. This basically reduces Suletta to a battery and "starter" for the Gundam. Once the Permet level hits...Six, was it? Then Suletta doesn't seem to be 100% needed.
However, this conjecture is based on Aerial's cease of attack against Sophie being not because Suletta begged her, but because she had already overloaded the poor girl's brain. I don't think there's a clear cut answer for this just yet. Also as an aside, Norea's blaming of Sophie's death on Nika feels a bit hypocritical, until one considers one simple thing.
They may not have ever lost before.
It's easy to pontificate how mobile suits, and Gundams specifically, are made for killing people when you are the one doing the killing and not the dying. But being the one doing that (well, that was mostly Sophie, poor kid), then getting angry when your comrade is killed by one such weapon of war... it is understandable, perhaps even relatable. And horrible. But the asshole response of "Well, guess you were right" hovers in the back of my mind.
This is where things start getting stickier, I reckon. Hope this ends up at least the standard 25 episodes (not counting the Prologue).
So now, we have an election for President coming in. In the running being Shaddiq, Miorine...maybe Guel, too? Someone from Peil, certainly. Or maybe. Keeping track of factions is going to start needing a scoreboard...
Peil Technologies (creepy Bene Gesserit-looking ladies creep me the absolute FUCK out)
Dawn of Fold
Benerit Group
Earth House/GUND-ARM, Inc.
Shaddiq
Lady Prospera
And now The Moderators
Hoo boy.
Oh! Oh! Wait, I almost didn't talk about poor fucking Suletta! Who is all but a freaking puppet, with absolute faith in what Mama says to do! And while Miorine is upset by Suletta basically saying "I'll do what Mom tells me, because she's always right!" mindset is actually MORE upset with Prospera having turned her daughter into a completely obedient and subservient puppet than she is directly AT Suletta. And also horrifed that Prospera would do that, to her own daughter, no less. I mean, I am with Miorine, that's absolutely horrible, but righteous fury and all-consuming thirst for vengeance are things that push all other concerns and emotions aside.
And this is merely the BEGINNING.
I say again:
Hoo boy.
Edit: When I was writing this, and went to find the quote for my post's title, Crunchyroll was having fits. Finally got it to come up, though. Guess we're just overloading their servers. xD Also HOLY SHIT THIS IS EPISODE SIXTEEN. This is going to be more than a standard 25 ep show. Or at least, I hope so. I have seen what happens when you try to cram everything into limited episodes. >.<
I don't think it'll hit Gundam Wing length (oh, but if it did, ooooh, a treat! A treat for Miette!) but we shall see!
Edit the second: Forgot in my original post to have our Earth House/GUND-ARM, Inc. underdogs on the list of factions. This nigh-egregious error has been rectified.
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clown-cult · 2 years
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I ship alot of fucked up and problematic shit myself but at least I can say with pride that none of those ships are pedophilic or grooming in nature.
Saucerib makes all the other nasty type of ships out there look practically wholesome! They and their shippers are the “canon” laughingstock of shipping.
Like again, I dunno what makes people ship super dark problematic ships like SauceRib, but the problem only becomes so much worse when they insist on forcing it onto others and trying to normalise it.
I had one problematic ship (not on the level of SlappedPig or whatever but you get the point) and I was using it to try get over some irl trauma I’ve been through. That was my justification for a long time before one day it just hit me like a lightning bolt that this wasn’t helping me. It was just making me dwell on what happened even more. Not only that, but I risked potentially triggering or hurting others who had gone through the same thing as me if they came across what I was doing. That was a thought that horrified me to my core, even though I was a lot younger then, and I’ve done my best to moderate what I enjoy, even if I still like darker stuff, and how I enjoy it.
To quote Marcus Parks, “your mental health is not your fault, but it is your responsibility.” And I’ve tried ever since to make more responsibility for mine and how it affects how I enjoy things. I’m a lot more conscious with how I portray things and especially how I tag things so others can keep themselves safe.
SessRin shippers don’t do this. They don’t care. I’ve seen literally hundreds of people across platforms attempt to explain gently and clearly how deeply hurt and triggering for their own trauma this ship is and these entitled little cunts refuse to learn. They deliberately try to trigger people as some sort of ‘gotcha’ moment. They ignore survivors, argue with them and mock them.
Then they want to play the victim when they’re called out for their actions and how stressful it is facing negativity. I’ve got no sympathy whatsoever. Clearly kindness, patience and commonsense isn’t enough to get through to these people, so I’m left with no other option than to embarrass them into leaving me alone.
Works a treat, I have to say.
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aisha-ot · 1 year
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Hello there. I hope everyone’s doing well, I know it feels like it’s been an endless journey of long haul flights and some turbulence but here we are almost at the end of our entire journey. I can feel the jet lag already setting in … but let’s push through it and get into this weeks discussion.
What is evidence based practice? I had no idea either up until a few seconds ago when I researched the definition but then I realized it’s something we as OT’s and everyone in the health sciences faculty and professions use in our every day practice. To quote an exact definition, evidence based practice is “a problem-solving and decision making approach in practice that involves the conscientious use of current best research evidence and clinical expertise”. In simpler terms, it’s using research and the results and evidence from research to guide intervention to ensure a successful and meaningful outcome. As we all know there is so much to read up on the internet about absolutely anything and everything and as soon as we type in a question there’s hundreds of articles that pop up giving us all sorts of information. As OT’s we focus a lot on evidence based research seeing as we desire the best possible result from our interventions and because Occupational Therapy is changing every day meaning we need to constantly keep up to date. In todays post we’re going to reflect on my most recent treatment session with a new patient I had this week in order to understand evidence based practice in a practical example.
Just a quick bit of background on my client so you guys have a clearer picture, he suffered a TBI after being hit by a car as he was walking on the side of the road. Initially h experienced right upper and lower limb weakness however, as of the most recent treatment session I had with him he has gained most of his strength back and can mobilize with moderate assistance. He has very low psychological endurance and slow thought processes and he spaces out quite often when being spoken to or when doing an activity. If I’m being honest I have to tell you guys that I was pretty scared of treating my client when I first met him not because of anything else other than the fact that his scars made him look a little intimidating. He’s been through a brain surgery to remove pressure from his brain meaning he had many stitches on his head and severe facial swelling when I first met him. I’m human guys, we all have our own personal demons that we’re fighting and trying to overcome and it’s normal for us to form judgements about someone before we actually meet them. In fact, I remember learning in school that it takes 7 seconds upon seeing a person to make an initial judgement. Sue me, I’m guilty of being human. I admit it, I was pretty anxious going into my initial assessment session not knowing what I was going to find but boy can I tell you my judgement was completely wrong. Although my client didn’t want to talk much and I struggled to get most information from him, as soon as I got over the initial anxiety I could see the pain and utter exhaustion on his face from his experience. This was exactly the wake up call I needed to shake me back to reality and realize that I have the ability to make his life slightly less painful. So I did my assessments, tried as hard as I could to get any information as possible and then left my client to rest because I didn’t want him to be frustrated with me as that would’ve had an impact on our future sessions.
As a therapist there can be frustrating moments when you aren’t getting exactly what you want from a session but you learn to overcome it and find other ways of building that relationship with the client. In my experience I found that religion was the one way I could relate to him and build that rapport in order for him to trust me. After carrying out a grooming activity for my first treatment session I could see I didn’t have my clients full attention and willingness to participate in my session which planted thoughts in my head as to how I should move forward. I was happy with his progress in his physical functioning but I knew I could make his treatment sessions more meaningful to him if I could just figure out the one thing to focus on. That’s when he began saying little prayers in Arabic throughout the session which immediately put off alarm bells in my head as to what I could do for my next session. I came to find out that my client was Muslim and that his prayers meant a lot to him. You can already guess that I got home that day and immediately started on my treatment plan. I have never been more excited for a treatment before because I finally found a way to relate to my client on a deeper spiritual level that I knew would open so many doors for a successful treatment. The only problem was that I had never carried out a treatment session focused on religious observance which once again welcomes back Aisha’s anxiety… I know, I’m just as tired as you guys 😭
But, here’s where we start to look into evidence based practice. Although I did know that there were chances of success if I planned an IADL session around religious observance, I needed factual evidence to back me up and make me feel more secure in my decision and in my treatment. I often second guess myself and as soon as I think i have a good idea I need to run it by people and research in order to make me feel more confident. Sometimes that can be a bad thing in every day life to need validation from people but in OT, the need for evidence to back up my decision is vital, not only for my client but for myself as a therapist and for my service. And so, I went on to research religious observance and how it affects clients participation in treatment as well as the overall success of intervention.
I don’t want to bore you with all the details of my research so I’m just going to touch on a few points that I found important and how it affected my thoughts and planning but I’ll keep the links below for you guys to check out if you’re interested in learning more.
“Research shows that religious and spiritual beliefs influence a person’s health and quality of life.” You hear that ? That’s the sound of success. That’s the first sentence I had read about religious observance and you best believe I was overjoyed seeing as I could already see my treatment plan heading in the right direction. This is not to say that I didn’t have my doubts and worries about my session but the thing with evidence from research is that the practice/treatment idea has been tested and analyzed from a variety of different people which increases the chances of success.
Here’s another example of just how important research is for a therapist. I explained before that I had to wait for my client to utter a prayer in Arabic for me to realize that he was Muslim and so that I could delve further into his religious beliefs. That same study I mentioned above stated that “there is a hesitancy among the respondents to ask the client about religious observance and that therapists are waiting for the client to raise the topic.” Is that not creepily accurate looking at my approach regarding my clients religion ?? Evidence based practice guys, evidence based practice. That’s all I’m saying. Let’s actually touch on that point though. I knew in my second session that I had to start thinking of another session that was more meaningful to my client but for some reason I was scared to try and bring up religion. My clients name is a very common Muslim name which I did pick up on but for some reason I was hesitant to ask him about Islam in case I was just making assumptions and I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. Once again, yes guys, I’m human. I have thoughts that hold me back some times and this was one of those times. If it doesn’t make sense to you then think of it like this. What if I assumed that my client was Muslim and started using Arabic phrases and prayers throughout the session only to later find out that he is no longer Muslim for personal reasons that affected him emotionally. I didn’t want to be the one to bring up any negative past experiences because I was scared it would ruin the relationship I was trying to build. Which I mean now that I’m looking back at it, I still do understand why I thought what I did but the whole religion thing turned out to be such a life saver for my success in the following treatment session. I really do make my life harder sometimes. But I blame my brain for the millions of thoughts that run wild, it’s a blessing and curse 😭.
As you can probably already guess, my treatment session was quite a success in my books. In prior assessment and treatment sessions he could barely concentrate and didn’t seem very interested in my treatment but as soon as I told him about the treatment session being about his prayer I could already sense the shift in his willingness to participate. Seeing as we are currently in the month of Ramadan and it is a month where Muslims increase in their prayers other than just the 5 daily prayers I could sense the urge for my client to want to carry out this occupation. As a Muslim myself, I also know the feeling of peace and comfort you get when carrying out these prayers and I could immediately see my clients entire body relax and be at peace when I began playing the prayers for him and when he was reciting it himself. I’m going to get a little deep here and say that my heart swelled at the sight of someone looking like they were wrapped in a blanket of peace as soon as the prayer began. There’s a specific verse in the Quran that states that “God does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear” which always brings me comfort knowing I can get through whatever it is I am dealing with and in the treatment session this is the verse I had been repeating to my client to assure him and provide more comfort seeing as he has been through such a traumatic experience and is having to deal with a difficult recovery. I have recently been exploring my faith and trying to strengthen my relationship with God and increasing my prayers and I too have felt just how incredible it is knowing I can turn to my religion whenever I’m anxious or whenever I need those moments of comfort and peace and seeing my client in that same feeling brought tears to my eyes knowing I was able to bring that sense of normality back into his life.
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Going back to the topic of evidence based practice, there was another moment after my session and evaluation that I found the need to research a different topic. This being how therapists and doctors communicate with their patients. After my evaluation it came to my attention that there were moments where I spoke to my client in a tone that was not necessarily appropriate for an adult. This was a hard pill for me to swallow because I didn’t realize it at all during my session and I am usually the one who gets frustrated with doctors when they speak to their patients like children so this feedback kind of made me upset with myself for a bit. But of course, I’m still a student, there are going to be moments where I mess up and need to learn and although it is frustrating thinking back on it and knowing I can’t change it I know I am definitely going to use this as a lesson going forward. This is why I began to research and look into the effect that “baby talk” (although I was not using complete baby talk I knew that was a risk for future sessions) with clients and found the following “many people, who are often already struggling with negative feelings of self-worth as they begin to lose their independence, feel degraded by baby talk” and “the recipients of baby talk were perceived to be less satisfied with the interaction.” I’ll link the websites below for you to read into this a bit more because I found it quite interesting but the above information was the wake up call I needed to be able to adjust my handling of my clients in future sessions.
Looking back at my approach to my clients treatment from the beginning of the week to now I’d say there’s a huge improvement not only in my approach but also with my relationship with my client. Of course as stated previously there are things I need to work on but overall in my opinion I think this week was a success. I feel like the past weeks have been amazing in preparing me for this client and I know I used past experiences and feedback to improve which I’m proud of. And before I end off todays post I just wanted to reiterate the fact that yes we are all human. There’s personal feelings that pop up in moments of anxiety and that’s normal, it took me a while to be able to process that and not to attack myself for those thoughts and judgements but I hope that me admitting my faults and acknowledging my weak spots I can be an example to you guys that are also trying to navigate your way through this journey. I’ll see you guys again one last time for our final flight of this whirlwind of a journey to our final destination next week.
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locustheologicus · 2 years
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America magazine interviewed Bishop Barron on the ethic of social media communication and how Catholics should use social media. The major point Bishop Barron offers is that Catholics (and indeed all people of goodwill) should maintain a fundamental orientation towards love of God and neighbor in how you convey your message or soundbite. Quoting St. Augustine he suggests that we should apply the following exhortation: "Love and do as you will." Bishop Barron goes on to define love as "willing the good of the other. If one is doing it out of hatred, or a desire for revenge or a need to impress one’s friends, he should refrain from hitting that button."
Bishop Barron goes on to tell us not to be discouraged by "grifters and trolls" but apply the thomistic method (listening to diverse thoughts respectfully) and to self-regulate your own use of social media.
I would hope that people who use social media realize how the trolling and ad hominem attacks create a poisonous atmosphere, and that there might be more self-policing in this arena. This, may I say, applies to both left and right. Instead of engaging vile posts, people should ignore them or remove them. I also hope that the bishops might exercise more oversight of the social media space, for there are way too many people who, with no real credentials or ecclesial mandate, simply hang out a shingle and pretend to be spokespersons for the Catholic church. This has caused a good deal of confusion.
This self-regulation is a good suggestion for many of us to apply in how we go on to use social media and conduct a Thomistic presence in the midst of a toxic environment filled with opinionated pundits and trolling haters. Many times I had to check my own desire to be vulgar or publicly dismissive to memes or judgmental attacks. I agree with Bishop Barron that in those unconstructive moments just ignoring or deleting these "vile posts" is a better option and instead offer a constructive thought that is respectful and attentive to other constructive opinions and thoughts.
This week Twitter was just purchased by Elon Musk, the famous billionaire and owner of Tesla and Space X. Having a prominent social media platform that serves the interest of an individual raises many concerns to be sure and in a NYTimes opinion article "Twitter under Elon Musk will be a scary place" some of these concerns were shared.
Loosening content moderation, as Mr. Musk appears poised to do, won’t make Twitter a better place; that will make it far more toxic. Under the notion that more speech is the best antidote to harmful speech, earnest users can probably expect to be shouted down even more frequently by trolls and bots.
In light of this I think Bishop Barron's self-regulating social media suggestion becomes even more urgent. Let us become agents of God's love to one another in the social media world and find ways to challenge this toxic environment without conceding it to those that would use it to sow hate and division.
Two other relevant points to add to this conversation is the notion of free speech especially in light of Catholic social teaching. Catholic News Agency interviewed Professor Edmund Waldstein O.Cist., of the Pope Benedict XVI Philosophical-Theological University in Austria. The interview was on the Catholic perspective on social media use in light of Elon Musk's takeover of Twitter. He gave a very well defined perspective on this issue during the interview.
Waldstein said that the right to free speech is derived from the “duty to seek and serve the truth.” But, he added, Church teaching does not entail an unlimited right to freedom of speech. 
“There is no right to spread lies, or false and harmful opinions,” he explained. “There is no right to use social communications to incite hatred and violence against other persons or groups.”
He added that big technology companies like Facebook and Twitter should not be the arbiters of truth in the public discourse. Instead, he said, those companies “ought to be strongly regulated by the state to ensure that they do not use their power to advance partisan interests.”
The Church does recognize a cautious but morally legitimate approach for the state to regulate what goes out on the media airways. He does caution that this is to be done to serve the common good from (as Waldstein calls it, "partisan interest") but of course such regulation must be tempered and not end up serving the sole interest of the state either. This is where our democratic institution with its system of checks and balances comes into play. Nevertheless, CST does recognize a legitimate but cautious role for the state in this. Part of our ongoing conversation with this issue must be to consider what regulatory policies we need that will support an appropriate free speech environment that serves the common good.
The other point however is what I would like to highlight: the value of free speech in the Catholic social tradition. Our Catholic tradition values the pursuit of truth above all. The Thomistic approach recognizes that truth is often times subjective and for that reason engaging respectfully and lovingly with other opinions is part of the scholastic method which Aquinas employs with his "many virtues of intelligent and constructive conversation." Of course this recognizes that divergent opinions are out there and they exist because of different experiential context that interpret social reality very differently. To pursue the objective truth requires us to enter the contextual truths that exist and integrate these subjective truths into a meta-narrative where the universal truth coincides. But the self-regulating onus on our part (going back to Professor Waldstein's point) is to not cross the boundaries of our own truth with what we know are "false and harmful opinions" especially to incite violence, hatred and division. This would obviously compromise our mandate to promote truth and love, and CST does not defend such a "right".
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moonrisedreams · 3 years
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having a voice, and having it heard, are two very different things
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soft-boi-eli · 3 years
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Hello Hello!
I just wanted to say I love your fics!
ALSO!
Could I request a CC!SBI X Gn! Insomniac Reader! Where the reader is an insomniac (Obviously-) but is somehow a pro at MC!
Like they are basically god at the game! They also REALLY enjoy horror games! They don’t get scared easily and LOVE horror movies! They basically love anything horror/creepy-
ANYWAYS!!
The reader lives off of ramen and Monster energy drinks (For fun-)! They have a Twitch (Which has about 18 mil followers and 14 mil subs!) and a YouTube channel (Which has 20 mil followers!)
They mainly play horror games (Obviously-) and MC!
You can do headcanons or scenarios/images with the SBI! Maybe like playing a horror game together or MC? OR! Maybe some things they do together? Or when they meet up? Or-to many ideas Nightmare-
ANYWAYS!
I don’t really care! And don’t worry about taking too long on it!
ALSO!
Maybe we could be friends? Only if you want too!
Remember to eat, drink, and get enough sleep!
<3
Yes. I lovesthese ideas and I'm gonna choose headcannons due to they are a bit easierfor me to write.
And yes I'm perfectly fine with being your friend! I'm actually happy to make friends on this app so yeah!
Pronouns:nonbinary
Tw: cussing. Insomia, mentions of horror movies. Mention of horror games. Fluff.
SBI with a horror streamer friend head cannons.
*Ahem* tommy wanted to paly a game with you so you choose a game that didn't look like horror until the middle. He screamed at the jump scare and it made both of your chats so happy.
When phil decides to play with you there is literally a silence after a jump scare. Everyone thought he had a heart attack and honestly so did you until he spoke up about accidently hitting his mute button when he jumped.
Wilbur. He's a bit better then tommy but more scared then phil would be. Any little noise won't get him but when it starts to get noticeable the noiseless to him. The jump scare, he'd fall out of his seat and stay on the ground for a bit. You ask if he's good and he literally doesn't answer. He's dead. You killed him. Congrats.
Techno. He'd handle them a bit better then everyone else. Not as good as you but heisnt very paranoid. He literally runs at the noises trying to get jumpscared. While you run after him telling him to stop because if he doesn't then you'd lose and die. And technoblade never dies.
If you all play together both tommy and wilbur pussy out. Techno last the longest and phil the second longest. While you remain the ruler of horror games.
Now how you all met was dream invited you to the dream smp to add to the chaos. Needless to say it got extremely chaotic due to you being on almost 24 hours. You first ran into techno. He seemed confused and skeptical.
You both found eachothers love for potatoes. You set up camp quote close to techno but not too close.
Phil popped in when he needed something for a build and noticed a new name. Talked to you in chat and asked to join your VC. You both found each other talking for a bit.
Wilbur was next. Wilbur got curious over the new person and just hoppedinto the same VC as you techno and phil. He was quick to realize that you were a famous youtuber. Mainly for your horror videos and your extreme Parkcore skills.
In minecraft that is.
Tommy noticing that all of you were in the same VC joined in with shouting. He was low key jealous that everyone was obsessed with you. Then he saw why.
You literally cracked jokes at his shouting.
"Is that an angry pomeranian? Nah nah. It's an angry child. Even better an angry blonde!" - you.
He was shocked and immediately started joking and laughing with you. He wasn't fully angry for long.
Now about your diet. When they heard that you had only eaten ramen and drank angry drinks they were concerned. You lived quite close to techno so when you guys met up he was shocked that you looked as healthy as you did.
He hated the fact that you literally didn't eat anything else.
You told him occasionally you have something other then ramen but you were just too lazy to really cook anything and that you didn't feel like burning the house down.
One month phil, tommy, wilbur, and techno decided to organize a month long sleep over so that they could celebrate your birthday. Phil being quote the father figure cooked different, but easy dinners every night just so you didn't eat only ramen that day.
When they actually arrived though you got a text from Phil asking about your address in your dms. Not think much of it you just sent him your location.
You were going to take a small nap. Just to bost your energy before you went and streamed later that night.
As you were sleeping there was a car heading to your house.
Phil, wilbur, tommy, and techno were all just existing in the car. And when they arrived to your house they didn't expect to actually see a clean house.
You woke to a loud knock.
When you opened the door in your half dazed state you expected a package. But to see four people standing on your porch.
You nearly jumped out of your skin.
You were stuck there blinking at them.
Finally snapping out of it you let them in. Confused on why in the ever loving fuck they were here.
Phil explained they were here to celebrate your 21st birthday and they were here for a month.
You stared at them for a while. Confused on what to do since you haven't had people over in almost 2 years.
But you got use to it.
So when you got done streaming and smelled something other then ramen you were thrown off guard. Like what was that. I haven't smelled that in years.
But after the second day you got use to it too.
For your birthday phil literally made a feast.
Like he found your favorite food other then ramen and cooked it. With that he prepared everything you could dream of.
Your sleeping habits. Let's dig into those.
I'm in no place to talk as right now it's 3:05 in the morning. And here I am.
But when they are over they don't let you stay up till no 3-4 in the morning. They all know the importance of sleep.
But there are those nights where no once can sleep and it results in a late night stream. And streaming for hours none the less.
The amount of accidental all nighters everyone has pulled was immense. But that's what happens with jet lag, adhd, and insomnia.
Literally you get tired randomly. Sleep for only 3 hours. Wake up. Drink coffee, energy drinks, highly caffeinated tea. And don't sleep till late at night.
Pillow forts.
It's a must and it happens. Horror movies, pillow forts, and snacks. Like you all are in this massive fort, watching horror movies, one by one you all are falling asleep. You and techno were the last up due to technos active mind and your body not letting you sleep.
You two literally just vide there, changing the movies from horror to some silly animated movies, like how to train your dragon, frozen, Luca, and many others.
You two pull an all nighter and it's actually a bet to see how long anyone else takes to notice.
You bet an hour. Techno says all day.
You won. Philza notices the worse eye bags under both you and technos eyes and immediately starts scolding.
He is papa bird and he won't let anyone of his children neglect their needs.
"Did you even drink water at all? You guys should of been sleeping not binge watching horror movies all night!" -philza
You could only offer a smirk, along with a laugh.
"I think we did I just can't fully remember. Also we were watching animated films. Not horror. Surprised you didn't wake up to let it go." - you.
You turn to techno.
"You owe me 15 bucks pig boy!"-you again.
Handing you the money he rolls his eyes. "Yeha yeah. Rub it in." -techno.
Ah yeah they found a horror game that you were scared of surprisingly. It was actually surprisingly you hadn't played it yet.
Outlast.
You had been holding off that game until you finished your other one but here you were. Bored out of your mind.
So you decided fuck it.
That game teriffed the shit out of you. It was so good though.
When you screamed they all came rushing up due to the fact that you never scream.
They say you out of your chair, on the floor, blinking. They thought you were hurt.
But you sat up and looked at your computer.
"Damn. That was actually really good." When you looked behind you and found the boys all staring you smiled and waved.
"You need something?"-you
"You screamed. We heard a thud. We thought you fuckin died!" -tommy.
"No I'm alive. My soul almost divorced my body but it's still quite here."-you
That day made highlights.
The popular y/n actually got jump scared. The one person who never screamed at horror games screamed.
When they left you were sad yes but they were still your best friends. Ready to talk when ever you want.
Sometimes I think that you guys talk all through out the night. Them forgetting that you were actually in a different time zone.
Sometimes they pop into your streams, be it MC, horror, you just talking to your fans, or even the once in the blue moon, cheerful games.
They just pop in and start talking to you. And you talk back like they were there since the beginning.
Phil is now one of your moderators too. Along with tommy, wilbur, and techno. When they pop in they make sure no one picks on you.
And since you are now close to the SBI. You are now part of it.
You didn't choose the fans did. But they are your new family. No matter what.
Even if they disagree with your eating habit.
Or energy drink addiction.
Or insomnia.
Or you mainly playing horror games.
Or you basically living in your streaming room.
Or even the nearly 24 hour streams.
I could go on but I'm not gonna.
I'm tired. But I can sleep. 2 days and I get to have a tour of my new school.
And it took so long to finally get into it.
We have been going through a huge hassle even before school started to get me enrolled.
And then we had to get me into this program.
But now on Monday I get to go in. Get a tour. Then start either Tuesday or Wednesday.
Anyway hope you liked. It's now 3:50 and it's no proof read I'm sorry
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idontblushsrry · 3 years
Text
Request fic
Anon asked: 
Would you do a Hiei from YYH fic where Hiei and the reader are in "will they won't they" stage since they clearly like each other but she's not going to push Hiei and Hiei wants to ignore his feelings but he can't once he gets blatantly jealous when Shishiwakamaru makes a comment about her during the Dark Tournament after she turns him down for "not being her type"?
A/N: I kinda messed with somethings because I haven’t seen Dark Tournament in a hot minute.
Word Count: 1624
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“Hiei, you’re glaring again.”
“Shut it Kurama. I’m not glaring, merely observing.”
An exasperated Kurama smiles at his friend who despite, verbal assurances that he was “merely observing” seemed to be growing increasingly irritated. Demonic aura rolling off his friend in waves as Hiei’s hand twitched to grab his sword.
The object of Hiei’s ire stood there completely unaware of the death looming over his head. Or maybe, he was all too aware. Shishiwakamaru had no issues when it came to taunting his rival team. You were no exception, the fact that you happened to actually catch Shishi’s eye was nothing more than icing on the cake.
The fact that Hiei looked ready to turn him into a sword sheath made this interaction all the more sweet.
All the while, you were caught in the crossfire between the 2 demons’ mind game/ ego contest. You continued your conversation with Shishiwakamaru out of pure politeness, every question he asked, you answered bored and disinterested, each answer getting shorter and shorter as time stretched on. To be truthful, you’d rather be back at the hotel, you were wasting the team’s precious training time by being here. You tried to shoo them off but Kurama insisted for the sake of being a gentleman and Hiei stayed because he wanted to “scope out the competition”.
Now the competition had more than ended and neither of them had any real valid reason to remain here, demons long gone, any stragglers you’d be more than able to avoid on your way back to the hotel. But you figured the same reason you were still here was why Hiei stayed around. Kurama probably just stayed behind to make sure Hiei didn’t add any extra charges to their long list of crimes.
“If you’re done wasting oxygen, Shishi, we’d like to head back now.”, Hiei, fed up with Shishi’s persistence speaks.
“If you’ll excuse me, your presence is no longer required. I can escort my Y/N back to the hotel if you’re that busy.”, Shishiwakamaru was all too aware of the underlining irritation in Hiei’s voice, more potent than his usual cadence.
That seemed to be the tipping point for Hiei because he grabbed his sword and nearly lopped off Shishiwakamaru’s head if it weren’t for Kurama placing a hand on his shoulder with a look that said ‘save it for the arena.’
Alright, this had gone on long enough, “Actually Shishi, I was thinking of heading back with them, it’s getting kinda late and I don’t wanna be here at night with just you...”, you mumbled the last part out a little awkwardly and gestured towards the exit where Hiei and Kurama stood.
Your “excellent” moderator skills seemed to have worked though because Shishi didn’t put up a fight. He smiled at you before gently taking your hand in his and placing a kiss on the palm of it. “Until we meet again Y/N, you hold my heart in your hands.” With a final smile directed at you, ignoring the way Hiei’s glare intensified, he walked away, leaving you to deal with the aftermath of his actions.
The aftermath being one pissed off fire demon named Hiei.
As you all made your way back to the hotel, you could tell that Hiei was very pointedly, ignoring you. He trailed behind you and Kurama before completely disappearing into the trees going who knows where.
The walk back with Kurama was silent but not unpleasant. You were mainly lost in your own thoughts, Kurama offered you a sympathetic smile but otherwise didn’t bother you. Any advice he could’ve given you would be repetitive, the both of you being closest to Hiei and knowing how he operates.
Upon coming back to the hotel, you note with nary a concern that Team Urameshi’s common room was completely empty. Fine, you needed to be alone with your thoughts anyways. All you wanted was tea, after that, you’d leave.
It did not appear that the universe was on your side as Botan appeared by your side with a cattish grin that said she’d found a new piece of drama to prey upon. 
“So, Y/N, me and the girls were playing truth or dare. Since everyone else is out, we were wondering if you’d like to join us?”
She said that all too innocently, it seemed she was either trying to lower your guard or she’d finally put her paws away. It did sound nice though, hanging out with Keiko, Yukina, Shizuru, and Botan in a situation more relaxing than hoping your boys don’t die every time they go out to fight.
“I’m sorry, I have to say no. I’m feeling a little tired from today and honestly, I’m just gonna pass out on the nearest surface, preferably a bed.”
She looked a bit disappointed, but understanding. “It’s just that I wanted you to see that Yusuke’s spirit beast had finally hatched.” 
“Oh, good for him, but I’m sure I can see it tomorrow. Aren’t the best things worth waiting for?” She looked a bit confused at your usage of the quote and you took that as an opportunity to leave. As interesting as Yusuke’s spirit beast sounds, you honestly were hoping to wait up for Hiei so you could talk to him about today.
Mind made up, you sped to your room, catching the faintest sight of a black puff of hair atop a blue...blob, before closing the door. You set your tea down to let it cool while you changed into your sleepwear. Pacing all the while and triple checking that your curtains were pulled back and your window was open.
“Why do you look so nervous?”
The sound of Hiei’s voice causes you to jump up in fear, tea cup almost spilling and dropping to the floor as a result. You turn around and see Hiei, perched on the windowsill, as dramatic as ever but also as serene as he’d ever been.
“Hiei, y-you’re here.”, a little caught off guard, you beam at the sight of him.
“Why wouldn’t I be here?”, he states that as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, the implied affection doesn’t go unnoticed by you either. He jumps down from the window and enters your room, but that’s it. He puts his hands in his pocket and makes no moves to get closer to you beyond that.
Is he-? It’s faint but if you squint and the moonlight hits him just right, you could swear he was blushing. Hiei? Blushing?? You must be more tired than you thought because in what world does Hiei blush?
He opens his mouth to say something before closing it and you’re reminded, this is the world where Hiei blushes. The same world that forced him to compete in a tournament that could cost him his life. And the same world where he cares for you and you him but neither of you acting upon it.
“Hiei I-”
“Y/N look-”
At that you both laugh, feeling some of the tension in the room ease a bit after doing so. You try to urge Hiei to go first but he insists you speak, so you do. 
“I just wanted to say that I don’t have any feelings for Shishiwakamaru.”, you figured being blunt would be the best approach, Hiei appreciated it despite him being one of the most roundabout people you knew, “You know I only have eyes for you right?”
At your honest admission, Hiei looks a little guilty, eyes flitting about the room before settling back on you. His blush intensifies as a pout forms on his face, “I know that, I’m not an idiot like Kuwabara.”
Despite him looking like he wants you to finish this conversation for him, you remain silent. He had more that he needed to say to you, even if he didn’t know it.
His eyes took another trip around the room and he fixed you with a glare that said ‘seriously?’. You just smiled innocently and waited for him to continue.
“Listen Y/N because I’m going to say this once.”, he clears his throat, standing up straight and removing his hands from his pockets to point at you. “I find that you’re more tolerable than others. If I let my guard around you...I trust that you’d watch over me.” As soon as he finished, he looked away and plopped onto the floor, legs crossed.
You tensed the slightest bit, this subject was new to both of you, before forcing your body to move and making your way across the room to Hiei. You sat in front of him and placed a daring hand atop his.
To your relief, he didn’t seem opposed and even tangled his fingers in yours. Now both of you were staring into each other’s eyes, waiting for someone to make a move or say something. 
An unrestrained smile broke out across your face as you savored the feeling of Hiei’s hand in yours, the warmth of his calloused hands sending a fresh stream of butterflies up your arm and into your stomach. 
Hiei smiled too, a smaller one than yours but the happiness in his eyes more than making up the difference. It seemed like the two of you would sit there lovesick forever until Hiei, in an unprecedented show of boldness, leaned in and placed the gentlest kiss onto your lips.
It was clumsy, too firm at one point and angle a bit awkward, but it was so remarkably Hiei. The kiss was so brief that you were left dazed and wanting for more.
Hiei didn’t oppose when you pulled him in for another kiss, nor did he oppose the many that followed.
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hettiesworld · 3 years
Text
Name of fic: Knowing Me, Knowing You
Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC (Tao/Maya)
Plot summary: Taking place after the movie, the gang (except Roque and Pooch) go to China and they meet Tao (who is a friend of Aisha’s) in Tianjin, which is her hometown. She tries to help them with defeating Max once and for all but she cannot leave Tianjin...
Warnings: Foul language, moderate violence, mentions of sex trafficking and abuse, sexual themes and smut.
Used quote from the movie: “Liking the angle of the dangle?”
Author’s note: This is part of my ABBA song masterlist. It is inspired by the song Knowing Me, Knowing You by ABBA (of course) and the faceclaim for Tao/Maya is Pom Klementieff (who plays Mantis in the MCU). Enjoy!
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Chapter 1
The gang (consisting of Clay, Jensen, Cougar and Aisha) were in an empty bar after helping Pooch get to the hospital, in time for the birth of his newborn son.
“4 glasses of your finest whisky please.” Clay asked the bartender, leaning into Aisha and wrapping his arm around her.
The bartender nodded.
“Make that 5 glasses, Zhou. Xièxiè (thank you).” A female voice was heard from the counter.
The clicking of some heels added rhythm to the soft music that played onward without pause. Her eyes scanned the room with determination in search of someone when her eyes met Jensen, she smiled. 
They all looked at her as she put the 5 glasses on a tray and go over to their table. She placed the glasses, one-by-one, and of course, the last one to get their drink was Jensen.
She then took her whisky, sitting down in their seating area.
“Can we know the name of the lovely lady who has decided to join us for a drink?” Clay smiled at her. “Tao...” Aisha beamed at her. “Aisha...” The woman smiled back at Aisha.
“You know her?” Clay questioned his ‘girlfriend’.
Aisha smiled at him and sipped her whisky before explained, “Gentlemen, this is Maya.”
Jensen had to look twice, maybe clean his ‘Harry Potter’ glasses inbetween looking twice. 
“This is Maya?” He asked. “Yep.” “What, the Chinese agent?” “Former agent.” Tao interrupted him. “Aren’t you the one with those cool knife skills?” Jensen asked her again. “Sword skills. Kind of like ‘Kill Bill’. Or samurai ninjas. Your choice.” Tao replied.
Cougar gave his respect to Tao, tipping his hat at her. She smiled back at him.
“So you know about Max?” Clay inquired Tao, tilting his head.
“Yeah. He killed my father who was part of a sex trafficking syndicate here in Tianjin. I was supposed to be part of it but I went against him, helping the children involved, escape the place.”
Tao was a beautiful Middle-Eastern woman, but only on the outside. She was highly practiced at seduction. With her looks and high cheek bones it was all too simple. Nothing so pretty could possibly harm you, right?
Well, she was a former Chinese agent. What do you think?
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Tao watched as it seeped up through the joints in the floorboards and snakes out from dark corners and crevices. The blackness formed from some primeval hatred, and the collective despair of all those it’s taken before, closes in on the group, bleeding into their shadows cast by their own candlelight.
It felt as if her lungs were slowly filling with water, as if there was just less space in them for the air. Inflating them felt like pushing up a lead weight on her chest. 
Why couldn't she breathe? Why was it so hard?
“Jensen... I can’t leave.” Tao gulped.
Jensen came up to her, not that close so she doesn’t kick him where the sun don’t shine, but close enough so only them two can talk to each other.
“What? What do you mean?”
“I can’t leave Tianjin. I don’t know why but I can feel it in my chest and in my soul that I can’t leave. I can’t help you any further.” She mumbled.
“Okay, okay... calm down Maya. Just sit down and breath in and out... slowly.” Jensen carefully touched her shoulders and slowly helped her sit down on a nearby box. 
Fortunately, she did not hit him or hurt him badly, out of self-defence.
But later on, Jensen was hit really badly by Max’s new bodyguard. Maya, even though she couldn’t leave Tianjin, left her hometown, and came to the US of A to heal Jensen.
He was currently in a supermarket, just like the last time. He was injured in the arm, but it was the same one as last time.
“I’m here. Where is he hurt?” Tao came up to where Jensen was lying and Cougar, Aisha and Clay was surrounding him. She had a first aid kit strapped to her waist.
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“His right arm. Again.” Aisha faltered.
“What do you mean again, Aisha? Did you hurt him the last time?” Tao remarked.
“By accident!” Aisha replied.
Tao sighed as she takes out a doggy squeaky toy and passed it to Jensen. “Bite on this. This might hurt.”
A lot of blood was coming out of a hole. Tao put a lot of pressure on the wound. She put a dressing on his wound to clot and seal the wound. She checked Jensen’s heartbeat and breathing. It was quite high.
She elevated the wound above the heart to slow the breathing.
“It is a good job the bullet didn’t go all the way into your body Jensen. I’ll just be putting a pressure bandage on you for now. We will have to get you into a hospital for that wound though.” Tao explained. “Thank you for coming, Maya. I know you’re not supposed to leave Tianjin but I appreciate you helping me.” Jensen replied.
She sighed.
“Well, to be honest, I didn’t want to but you guys need my help with Max and I wasn’t going to let my situation, no matter how bad it is, get in the way of that.” Tao stated.
Jensen took the toy out of his mouth and smiled at her.
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Tao’s hotel room contained a small double bed, neatly made, two straight-backed chairs, a washstand, a bureau--without any mirror--and a small table. There were no drapery curtains at the dormer windows, no pictures on the wall.
Just then, a knock on the door.
Tao opened the door to see Jensen, outside of her door.
“Hi.” “Jensen. What are you doing outside my hotel room?” “I just... wanted to thank you Maya --”
Tao crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.
“Jensen. Call me Tao. Maya is just Aisha’s little nickname for me.” 
“Got it.”
A heavy silence settled over them, thicker then the uneasy tension in the atmosphere.
He's not usually the kind of guy Tao fantasise about. For starters, he's blonde and she’d always liked brunettes. She lusted after green eyed men with a handle on the world of business. Until she met Jensen.
“Tao...” Jensen hesitated, trying to say her name in his head over and over again. “I... I... I --” “Yes Jensen?” “Fine, I’ll come out with it. I like you. I really, really like you.”
Tao smiled and pulled his shirt so he could move closer to her. She then moved themselves so her back is towards the door. She turned so she could close and lock the door.
She strolled over to him, placing her hands on his shoulders and rubbing over his chest. She placed sweet kisses upon his neck, for every time she placed them there she knew she’d adored him for all time. She was on her tippy-toes.
“Tao...?”
She kept rubbing his chest, eventually putting her hands near his hips, moving his shirt up and over his head. She threw his shirt over to one of the straight-back chairs.
“Jensen. I like you too. Very, very much. And I want to show you how much I do like you...Pull your shorts down. I want to see the ‘dangle’ that Aisha has been telling me about.”
Jensen gave no time of pulling his shorts down. 
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Tao was on her knees. “Naughty, naughty. Not wearing any underwear...” She smirked at him.
“Liking the angle of the dangle?” Jensen chuckled. 
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Tao smirked once more and stood up to meet Jensen’s gaze.
“Of course I am.” Her body was pressed against his. His naked body against hers.
“Can you... erm...” Jensen trailed off as he looked down at his naked body.
“I guess it’s not fair with you being the only one naked...” Tao beamed. 
She wrapped her hands over his member and pumping it up and down. She then licked his head and swirling her tongue around and on it, making him groan and moan.
“Fuck Tao...” He praised.
As she kept going, her milky breasts spilled out of her top. He looked at her with a soft smile, commenting on her breasts and how looking up to see them was surprising. 
Tao had the breasts of a French actress, rather than anything North American television has to offer.
He pulled her, once again, to meet his gaze. Jensen ran his hands down her front, over her body that changed by the day. 
He pushed her onto the back wall. Tao arched her back as he kissed all over her body, pushing her skirt down, so she was completely naked as well.
“Let me guess... Wearing underwear in the night-time is annoying for you. I get it.” Jensen smirked at her this time.
“I guess so. I didn’t know you can be so...dominant.”
“Well, you don’t know a lot about me. That’s about to change.”
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@jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho​ @donutloverxo​ @chrisheavans​ @navybrat817​ @pegasusdragontiger​ @katiew1973​ @averyrogers83​
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boop-le-snoot · 3 years
Text
PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 34
💖 first time reader click here 💖
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A little bit of plot, but mostly ironstrange x reader filthy porn. Bukkake stuff. Stephen finally opening up a lil bit, I mean... I've slept through a 1/3 of a hospital and lemme tell you, doctors are kinky bastards. On the same note, there's definitely going to be a chapter where all three men are involved after the plot shit is resolved.
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There was something big brewing. I had a hunch... which was more like a strong sense of doom... hanging over me and the rest of the world. Peter also had noticed the sudden spike in anxiety, quoting the sudden disappearance of many low-tier mutants from the streets. Usually, Peter dealt with at least a few enhanced enemies during his patrols but the closer it got to Christmas, the less enhanced bothered with small-time crimes, the more intense the buzzing of his Spidey sense became.
Now that my immediate lack of income wasn't a problem anymore, I set business onto that damn mercenary. I was no spy, I was no SHIELD operative but... I could be very clever.
First things first, I had to make sure I would stay alive no matter what. A subdermal tracker was a good guarantee of security and I spent many hours making one - having to keep it a secret was incredibly hard, I hated lying to my loves and I hated avoiding Wanda even more - I was constantly on the edge around the telepath, hyperfocused on keeping up the pretense of normalcy.
I wouldn't be me if I couldn't successfully pull off a whole ass façade. Unfortunately, the continued failures of the people searching left and right for the mercenary only fueled my strength for the inevitable fuck-fest that I would have to create in order to make sure my people get the peace they fucking deserve. The web of lies grew in size every damn day.
Subdermal tracker, an implant that reports directly to Friday upon activation. It hurt like a bitch - I had cut myself open, an inch wide gash on the inside of my forearm - and put it in without any anesthesia in my own bathroom, not even thinking twice before making up a lie that I had been careless in the lab and hurt myself.
An antidote to common tranquilizers, creating it gave me a headache the size of Moscow but I'd been successful; Tony assembled the whole team when he found it out, offering me a ridiculous amount of money for the formula. It was weird. SHIELD was interested, too, and I had to witness Tony and Coulson argue. Apparently, the agency wanted to recruit me and Tony was adamantly against it, totally forgetting the promise Natasha had given me. In the end, the spy and Coulson shared a quiet conversation and the man left, respectfully complimenting my skills.
I sold the formula to Stark Industries, unable to get rid of the weirdness of the situation. I had to shake hands with my own boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend... In a business setting. What. Just what. Bucky and Stephen couldn't stop laughing at the face I made all throughout that day - and Clint even went as far as to bake me a gag cake, a cartooney handshake drawn in frosting on top of it. I hit him with a spatula, Loki smiled in his direction for the first time in, like, ever. It was a trip and Tony had way too much fun with the incident.
Perhaps, turning myself into a cyborg stew wasn't the best plan that was possible to think up in a few weeks' time but I've never claimed to be exceptionally intelligent; if anything, I've always considered myself to be a moderately educated idiot. It is common knowledge that there are two halves of a whole idiot: my second half was on his way from California, having had received my very detailed e-mail about the whole cursed box fiasco and the consequences that followed. I could barely contain my excitement at the prospect of seeing uncle Eddie and his symbiote again.
Tony wasn't even half as excited; if anything, he bordered on outright hostile, bickering, and sassing everybody left and right. It could have been the situation at hand finally getting on his last nerves. It could have been his jealousy, the same that appeared every time I paid extra attention to someone that wasn't him, Bruce or Stephen. Either way, Bruce was sighing all the time now and Stephen's remarks began to fill with poison once again.
Just like the good old times, I guess. I was forced to pull a Me over and over, interrupting their petty arguments with increasingly absurd remarks. I felt like everybody was laughing at me these days, which ended in only one way it could have...
"Brat," Stephen's patience was paper-thin and, being forcefully distracted from yelling at Tony, he directed his angst at the nearest person - me. "I oughta put you over my knee. I swear to Cosmos..."
"Blah, blah, blah. Don't you ever get tired of listening to yourself talk?" I raised my eyebrows, tone deceptively calm. "You're talking too much for someone who can't even..." I didn't get to finish my sentence, suddenly finding my mouth firmly glued shut. It was magic - the sensation was pulling, but not unpleasant. Reminded me of a ball gag Tony had used on me in the early days of our relationship.
"Now, Dumbledore, hold your horses..." Tony interjected looking none-too-happy. The engineer placed a warning arm on the sorcerer's bicep, their little spat seemingly forgotten.
"What, Tony? She's been nothing but a mouthy urchin the past few days, I can't stand it anymore," They shared a meaningful look; no matter how much Tony wanted to argue, he knew Stephen was right. What he didn't know was that there probably have been a magic versus science altercation... Or worse. Humiliation was a small price to pay for some (relative) peace.
I did what I do best. I annoyed them further, throwing up a juicy middle finger to the two men and turned around with a huff, mind set on finding Loki to undo the mute ban Stephen gave me. Needless to say, I didn't make it very far.
In mere seconds, I was sandwiched between the two men, Stephen's finger delicately holding my chin to force me to look into his eyes. Tony was holding onto my shoulders from behind me - I could feel the tension, my engineer was almost buzzing with it. I was pretty sure my eyes were laughing anyway because Stephen's frown slowly transformed into a coy smirk once his stormy blues focused on my face.
"Brat," He repeated once again. "She's doing this on purpose."
"I can't say I'm surprised," Tony's breath tickled the nape of my neck. "That does sound like our little Princess," Apparently, it took all of a 0.1 second for Tony to switch from annoyed to horny. Men, they were so easy to play. "Baby, if you wanted our attention you could have just said so," He chastised me, hands sliding down to my waist.
I hummed, and then aggressively hummed some more until Stephen removed the magical gag. "Not like you'd notice it, being occupied with tearing each other's hair out," I pouted.
The sorcerer briefly averted his eyes, leaning down to softly kiss my pout. It was very unlikely I'd get an actual apology but a kiss I won't be complaining about either. "So, your best tactic was to annoy us even more? How does that work out for you?"
I pulled on the tied fabric around his waist, bringing him closer to me. "Pretty good, if I'm being honest. You're exactly where I wanted you to be," Carelessly, I began untying the layers of silks and cotton I had become intimately familiar with over the course of the past few weeks. Most of the time Steph wore his wizard garbs and while figuring out how to undo them was a trip at first, I had gotten him desperate enough a few times, for him to show me a few tips and tricks for easier access.
Tony snorted somewhere behind me. "You just want us for our bodies," His hands wormed their way under my shirt, brushing the underside of my breasts. Bra? Hardly know her. "Our beautiful, sexy bodies." Yes Tony, very humble.
"When will you learn, people?" I asked rhetorically, simultaneously leaning into both Tony's and Stephen's touch. "Why fight each other when you could be fucking me into oblivion instead?"
Stephen snorted, still not completely used to the at times crude things that left my (and occasionally Tony's) mouth. I had a hunch the sorcerer was holding back somewhat - for whatever reason - and I was eagerly waiting for him to get comfortable enough to reveal that special part of himself. Whatever it was, I just knew it was delicious and sinful and-
"Do you really think I will be giving you what you want after your little... Stunt?" Steph went balls out; his voice dropped and the intensity of his stare left me breathless. The hand that was stroking my face wrapped around my throat as he had some sort of a silent conversation with Tony.
"Yeah," I emphasized the word with an inaudible 'duh' behind it but obediently trotted along as Stephen backed up towards the couch, leading me by the throat like a pet on a leash. I was steadily going into 'no thoughts, head empty' territory.
"I like it when you get all bossy," Tony remarked casually but he was close enough for me to hear the strain in his voice. Every time we fucked, Tony eagerly gave up the control to Stephen. I definitely saw the appeal. Stephen Strange demanded authority effortlessly, his stern but fair attitude simply demanded to kneel.
That's just what I did. As soon as Stephen made himself comfortable on the Italian leather couch, I dropped to my knees, looking up at the man with big round eyes. Just like Tony and Bruce, Stephen had his own weaknesses when it came to moi and I wasn't ashamed to exploit them. Steph's stroked my hair, carding careful fingers through it, slowly unbuttoning his pants with his other hand.
"If you insist on being mouthy, I have a better task for you," He husked, pulling me closer towards him. I called it his doctor voice. Honestly, I don't have a clue how his surgical team could be around him with their pants on back in the day... The man was a snack on a silver platter.
Steph's erection sprang free. I didn't hesitate to wrap my hand around it, stroking the underside of his glans just like he liked it, looking to the side where Tony landed on the couch next to Stephen, a curious look on his face. Yeah, Tony liked to watch. Me and Stephen or me and Bruce... Me and Stephen and Bruce? That's an idea for later.
"Don't mind little old me," Tony smirked his trademark Stark mischief, getting comfortable, ditching his oil-stained shirt and unbuttoning his pants to lazily palm himself through his boxers. "Carry on," The smirk only grew when Tony noticed both me and Steph eyeing him with amusement.
I hid my grin, nodding my head, before wrapping my lips around the tip of Stephen's cock, relaxing my throat to prepare for the intrusion. Sweet and salty, the slit on his cockhead was mercilessly teased by the tip of my tongue.
Stephen murmured encouragements under his breath as I began to bob up and down, him controlling the pace with a hand in my hair, just the right balance between cruel and gentle. The sorcerer was always too good to me, bringing me to the point of overstimulation and instantly soothing the ache afterward; "Fuck, darling, your mouth feels like heaven," He groaned as I snuck a look upwards to see his lips parted and a steady flush crawling up his neck.
"She knows how to work a man, doesn't she?" Tony's lust had him panting, hips moving into his own hand. He leaned closer to Stephen, brushing my hair behind my ear with a tender hand. "Merlin needs to share," Tony began pulling me in his direction. I reluctantly let go of Stephen's cock, keeping up the pace with my hand as I scooted closer to Tony to be able to mouth at his stiff erection.
Watching me suck cock always got Tony hard enough to pound nails with. I couldn't blame him, I knew what I could do and did well; by the time I made my way down his thick flesh, drool was dripping down my chin and the make-up around my eyes was surely smeared by tears. My engineer was much less gentle than Steph, pounding my face without reservations.
"I know you can take it, baby girl, fuck," My face was held in his strong grip, thumbs digging into my jaw. "Such a good girl," The two words went straight down to my pussy and I had to squirm and clench my thighs together, whining at the lack of friction.
The air was pierced by a low moan - Stephen was fisting his erection almost desperately now, almost as desperately as I was humping the air, whining like a bitch in heat at the taste of Tony's cock in my mouth. I knew neither of the men would last long, not with all that pent up tension running through their minds and bodies.
"Fuck, come here, baby girl," The engineer yanked me off his cock, gripping the base of it so forcefully his knuckles turned white. I was all but dragged into the space between them; still kneeling, barely seeing with snot and tears smeared all over my face, I couldn't hold in the broken moan as the realization set in.
"Keep your eyes open!" Steph instructed furiously, scooting to tower over me. Tony followed in his steps as I obediently lifted my eyes to their cocks and then their faces; nearly identical furrowed brow expressions stared back at me, lips moist and eyes wide. Both men stroked themselves with renewed vigor.
I hummed softly before sticking out my tongue; their reaction didn't let me wait long. Strings of pearly white cum landed in my hair, on my face; I felt the warmth on my skin and tasted their salt and musk on the tip of my tongue, reflexively swallowing each and every drop that landed in my mouth, savoring it just like I savored the sinful groans that left their mouths.
"Fuck, you're so good to us," Tony panted, gracelessly falling backward onto the couch.
Stephen, however, didn't hurry to catch his breath, giving me a thoughtful look. His fingers shook more than ever but he paid no mind to the discomfort, gathering the cum dripping down my face with two fingers and offering it to me, holding them up to my lips as I gently cleaned them off. And he did it again, and again, until Tony gave a weak moan of recognition, throwing an arm under his head.
"Be polite, Princess," Stephen's voice hadn't lost the lust in it just yet.
"Thank you, sir," I mumbled, utterly captivated by the way he was looking at me. Stormy blues radiated a strong sense of intensity, devotion perhaps, that I wasn't ready for.
Stephen smiled at me, almost coyly, before kneeling right next to me and bringing me over the edge with a few sharp, clever movements of his hand. I held onto his shoulders for dear life, barely noticing Tony's reaction - if there was one - my other lover seemed to be as surprised as I was, choosing to hang back and observe the unusual situation.
I had a feeling that whatever it was, it would make another appearance during our playtime. It wasn't just sex, it wasn't making love - it was... Something. I loved every second of it.
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@another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95 @gladiosamicitias @toomanyrobins @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming
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I'd like to request a fluffy oneshot of scp-2030 x my oc. Hair color: blonde, Hair type: curly, eye color: blue
It was always nice to just go out and have some fun with friends, it’s a great way to unwind and catch up with them! And it’s hard to say no when they invite you to a fun day out. So you can’t really blame Dasha for being gone the whole day. 2030 knew this, he obviously did, and he’s glad Dasha has a life outside him. Buuuuuuut, he wouldn’t mind if he could spend way more time with her. Don’t get it wrong Laughy is a sociable person, well, when he wants to. Who would have guessed that a moderator of a comedy (if we can call it that) is a tad introverted? So here he is, sitting on a couch, not even focusing on the Tv, waiting for Dasha to come home, he already did all he had to do, heck he even dusted the whole place. So now all that’s left is sitting crossed arm, thinking how to make it look like he hasn’t been in fact waiting for the past few hours.
Almost midnight, she was supposed to be back by now. She wasn’t even answering his texts and calls. Well. Time to panic. He quickly turned the Tv off, got up to get his jacket and keys while talking out loud to himself.
“What if she was assaulted, or kidnapped, oh good lord what if the foundation found out her connection to me, yeah this is ba-”
That’s when he heard someone shuffling with their keys on the other side of the door.
“oh….OH”
Laughy quickly threw his jacket and keys away and jumped on the couch to sit down, luckily for him, he managed to do it before that person unlocked and opened the door.
“I’m home and not in fact deeead”
Yup, that was Darsha, it was clear from her voice that she’s in a really good mood. Laughy simply turned his head to look at her before saying:
“Back so soon?”
“I know, I know, and I’m really sorry. We lost track of time and headed back a bit later than expected, I hope you weren’t too worried, you know how you can be”
“Nah”
Yeah, she wasn’t buying that, just a few seconds ago she heard him talking to himself. “Really?”
“Mhm, of course”
He gave her a smug smile thinking he looks like a very chill, carefree, and not at all a clingy person. Boy was he wrong.
“Because last time I was few minutes late, you proceeded to run outside and scream for me, not to mention the threats you yelled”
“Well-” Laughy tried defending himself.
“Even though I was literally in the parking lot.”
“I know but-”
“What is like 2 minutes from here”
Both of them went quiet, Darsha smiling widely and Laughy smiling as well, he can’t help it when she’s in such a good mood. After a bit, he said: “Are you done no-”
“Or the time YOU were few minutes late and broke the door when rushing home because, and I quote: ,,There was no time for keys.,,”
Oh Darsha was enjoying this.
“Alright, miss remember everything, we get it.” Laughy said, clearly defeated.
Dasha chuckled at that before sitting next to him and kissing his cheek.
“I missed you btw”
“I missed you too” He replied quickly, putting his arm around her shoulder to pull her closer.
And they sat like that, she was telling him all she did today and he excitedly told her his plans for future episodes of his show. Soon Darsha was using him as a pillow, yawning.
“Alright, I think it's time for you to go to bed”
She didn’t even bother with answering properly but rather responded with dissatisfied noises.
“Come on, you can’t sleep on the couch in your clothes you've been in the whole day”
“Technically, I’m sleeping on you” Laughy smiled at that comment.
“Alright, then you can’t sleep on me in your clothes you've been in the whole day. You will regret it tomorrow, you know.”
“Sounds like a future me problem.” Darsha said as she clung to him even more.
“So you really don’t want to?”
“Mhm” She wasn’t really paying attention at this point.
“Does that mean we can pla-”
“NO” Darsha yelled out knowing what comes now, she quickly got up going to the bedroom for her nightclothes, but it was too late, Laughy already started
“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to our tonight’s show ,,hurry up,, where we will follow our lovely contestant’s struggle to get ready in time for bed. Will she be able to win the grand prize or will she have to suffer not knowing what the prize is? Let’s fin-”
That’s all she managed to hear before going to shower, last time she didn't win and the curiosity is still eating her alive, so not tonight!
----
“Darsha?”
“....”
“Oh please, don’t be a sore loser”
Darsha hit him with a pillow for that, but that only got a chuckle out of him.
“I love you Darsha”
She dramatically sighed before smiling.
“I love you too”
--------------
So this is my first fluff ever! Of course, Darsha belongs to @mrchuckletheeth. I hope I got it right :)
The next post will be father-son one for 096 and 049, requested by @creepyalienghost
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hoko-onchi-writes · 3 years
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all my nights taste like gold ~ chapter three
https://archiveofourown.org/works/31437287/chapters/78379274
She presses the laptop closed with a click. “What’s this about an emergency? Forgive me if I’m not leaping up to assist.”
“Maybe not an emergency to you.”
“Mm hmm.” She opens the box and examines a salted caramel macaron before taking a delicate bite. “I imagine it’s not a goddamn emergency to me. If the sewer system isn’t backing up and producing a sentient garbage person to terrorize the residents— there’s no real ‘emergency.’” She uses air quotes to emphasize her point before taking another bite of the macaron.
Eliot sighs, tipping his head back. His fingers still twitch sometimes like he’s searching for a cigarette, but there’s none available to him, not since his campaign to get better, build a real life from scratch. The trappings are good so far— he’s built more in the past year than he has in the previous three decades. But he thinks about smoking more than he does about drinking, which is to say he thinks about smoking at least ten times a day and drinking— once a week at most. It’s getting better, and the bakery is everything he dreamed, but God, what he wouldn’t give for a real cigarette.
“Mind if I?” Eliot pulls a vape pen from his pocket because that’s the only goddamn thing he can do, and even then, it’s Josh’s mildest blend, mostly CBD. But it’s enough to calm the buzzing ache that he used to kill entirely with alcohol and harder drugs. He needs something. This is what he has.
“As long as it’s not meth, fucking knock yourself out.”
“Haven’t gotten to the meth stage just yet.” Eliot takes a drag from the pen. It tastes faintly grassy against his tongue, and he holds it for a breath before puffing it out between his lips. He lets it settle in his body for a moment, his shoulders relaxing as it hits him. He thinks maybe it’s more the act— a holdover from over a decade of smoking. “So.”
“Enlighten me about this ‘emergency.’”
“Only if you stop using air quotes.” Eliot takes another puff and puts it away, his fingers still itching to hold something he can light up and keep smoking until it’s a burnt nub. “Makes me feel invalidated.”
“I have a question for you, El,” Margo drawls.
“Hm?
“How fragile is your masculinity, really?”
Eliot huffs. “As fragile as the macarons I’m going to stop giving you—”
“Fine. But like I said, I really like to stay away from that word since I help run a town full of fucking magicians. Seems like bad vibes to go tossing that around.”
“I told you I saw Quentin’s father a couple of weeks ago.”
“Oh, my God, El. What an emergency—”
“Hush up, bitch. Let me tell it.” He huffs a little, straightening up on the couch. “That was right before you left. And he didn’t say— but I figured, of course, that meant Q was not far behind.”
“We discussed this. So— Q showed up with his cute little manbun and blew you behind the counter—”
“Man bun is gone. He’s been replaced with—”
“What the fuck? Coldwater cut his hair? Jesus, you really must have fucked up him up.”
“Oh, fuck off. You ruined my line.”
“Start over.”
“He’s been replaced with—”
“Who’s he been replaced with?”
Eliot pauses for effect. “DILF Quentin. Single dad, apparently. A smattering of beard, glasses. Short hair, sticks up in the front. He definitely works out and he has—”
“A kid? Like a real live one?”
“Absolutely. A real, live magician kid.”
“Horrifying.” Margo selects a raspberry macaron and makes her way over to the couch, kicking her feet up on Eliot’s lap and lazing back on one of her throw pillows.
“Moderately. But also hot? I don’t know. I think I’m into it.”
Margo wiggles one foot, and he clutches it, absently kneading his thumb into the muscles of her lovely arch. These feet, he thinks, are different from any other feet, in that he would actually touch them. She’s lucky she’s perfect. “Jesus Christ. You would be.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You have tender wife guy written all over you. Makes sense you’d get horny over Coldwater having spawn.”
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lilydalexf · 3 years
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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.
Interview with Chimerical
Chimerical’s stories aren’t at Gossamer, but you can now find them at AO3. If you have not read them, are you in for a treat! For instance, Regular People and Regular People Still are some of the X-Files fics I have read and re-read. You may also know Chimerical from her site Chimerical Publications, which was an extensive Mulder and David Duchovny fansite. Big thanks to Chimerical for doing this interview.
Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?
I’m not surprised at all that X-Files fandom is still popular, it was an amazing, creative show with iconic characters. Aside from just being entertaining, like all good Sci-Fi it asked deep, profound questions about the nature of relationships and humanity. It’s these things that people remember more than the MOWs.
However, I’m surprised to hear that my stories are still read, mostly because there is always something new, someone has a new take, and of course, we have the more recent episodes which provides all new fodder for writers, which is wonderful. But it’s super nice to hear that stories from the classic show still mean something. Also, I wasn’t a prolific writer, there are only 12 stories, but perhaps they struck a chord and people like to revisit them the way you like to re-watch a favorite episode or movie.
What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?
Fanfic is certainly not new, but The X-Files was absolutely at the right place, at the right time. The internet was just really taking off, and it enabled fans to connect instantly in ways that hadn’t before. I remember that Fox used to send out Cease & Desist letters in an ill-considered attempt to stem fanfic because the Suits just didn’t understand what it was. Nowadays, of course, they embrace much of it, encourage it, even. Supernatural wrote whole episodes about it. But in the early days they were really stupid about it.
But what I took away from it was that great community can exist with people you have never met in person. There is a great sharing of ideas and love of great characters.
Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?
It’s true, no Facebook, twitter, tiktok – it seems strange!
But I connected to fandom though the old Usenet message boards, you couldn’t wait until the episode was over until you could leap on and start discussing the episode. And it was painful if you were on the west coast as I was because you would get spoiled. In truth, it wasn’t must different than Twitter, just without the character limitation. But it was rather the wild, wild, west, no moderators and no terms of service. It could be a free-for-all, and some of the disagreements were legendary! For writing, certainly ATXC was the big dog for fic, and of course alt.tv.x-files for discussion. There were many different Yahoo Groups and AOL mailing lists, that catered to interests in fanfic (Friendship/Adult/Slash) or to the characters and/or actors.
But frankly, the main thing I remember was what a complete PITA it was to just get anything posted. There were all these size limitations and ASCII issues that don’t exist today, you had font and formatting limitations, which cause people to get weirdly creative with italics, bolding, quotes and so on. And you had to break your story up in weird way simply to jam it into the email because there were size limitations. And it never failed that no matter how many Beta Reads you had, you didn’t see that last damn typo until AFTER you hit the send button. There was no edit button, all you could do resend the whole damn thing. It was the fanfic version of the 20 mile walk to school through the snow……Kids today have it so easy!  LOL….
What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?
Actors are, and always will be, the face of the show. David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson are amazing actors, and the nuance they brought each week was a wonder.
But one of the things that the X-Files also did was make people aware of the people behind the scenes, the showrunners, the writers, the directors. This was also something new. For most TV dramas, most people couldn’t tell you who wrote an episode if you had a gun to their head.
But people knew the writers like Vince Gilligan, James Wong, Darin Morgan, and of course Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz. And they knew the directors, Rob, Chris and the late great, Kim Manners.. It was like a repertory company. You could count on Morgan & Wong for the creepy, you could count of Vince Gilligan for the humor and relationship stuff, you could count on Darin Morgan for the “what the hell was that, but I loved it.”
So I guess what I took away was a deep appreciation for the craft, for the work. This carried over to other fandoms. I’m more aware of the creative team beyond the actors.
What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?
Believe it not, I didn’t watch at the beginning. I’ve always been a Sci-Fi fan but for some reason this wasn’t on my radar. I came in about the middle of Season 1. I was channel surfing and stopped the X-Files, it was the episode “Ice.”  I won’t lie, I stopped because I saw David Duchovny in a henley and I’m never one to pass by an attractive man. But as I watched, I became intrigued by these two characters, and their conflicted relationship with each other, even though I didn’t really know what was really going on. But I had to know more. That’s good writing, where you can walk in half-way through an episode and be captured.
I immediately checked out the old AOL Service forums and found a group. Of course, back then, there was no streaming, there was no BitTorrent. So, you just had to wait until when and if the network decided to show a repeat, which meant you were screwed if you were trying to catch up. But someone on one of the boards offered to send me VHS tapes of the episodes of missed. That’s fandom as its best - I’m excited about this and I want to share it with you. So in about a week I was caught up and hooked. I had to see how these two people’s story turned out.
What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?
I’ve always written as a hobby, taken many writing classes, have always written short stories, worked on a novel or two. I’ve got friends who are writers by profession. But the closest I ever came to doing it professionally was co-writing a play that ran for a month off Broadway many years ago, so I’m a dabbler, at best. I’m a big reader, and good stories always make me think, “well, what if this happened….”
So, X-Files wasn’t my first fanfic rodeo. I had been involved in Quantum Leap fandom and Beauty and the Beast, some Star Trek. Once I good hooked on the show, I immediately began searching out fanfic. But it took me a long time before I wrote anything. I’m not sure why, perhaps I was waiting to see where the story went. But X-Files was different in that it blended one of my favorite genres with a truly compelling relationship story. And I don’t just mean romance, it was a melding of two entirely different ways of looking at the world that was captivating. Scully was so strong and Mulder so complex, how could you not love them.
So, I enjoy writing, I learn from it. I learn from the feedback, both good and bad. I’ve never understood fanfic writers who say “just sent me nice feedback.”  No one loves criticism, and not all criticism is valid. But you learn from it. I’ve had people tell me they hadn’t looked at an episode from that point of view and they like it - and I’ve had people tell me that I didn’t know what I was doing, everyone knew that Scully would never cuss (to which I say, please, she grew up on military bases!)  But it helps you improve.
What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?
It was a period of my life I cherish because I met some friends who are still my friends to this day, all these years later because we found other things in common besides a show. It was great to share ideas and debate storylines. And it was a fun, creative, and exciting time. Each episode was must-see and then talking to my friends about it later was the best part.
I started to drift away when David Duchovny left the show. I thought then, and still think, they should have called it a day because the beating heart of that show was Mulder and Scully together. You can’t rip out half the heart and expect the patient to live. On an intellectual level, I got why Duchovny left, I got why Anderson stayed and I got that Fox was a fledging network back then and XF was a cash cow. But on an emotional level, it all turned upside down, especially when the much-promised “search for Mulder” never really happened.
Fans got angry. They were angry at David for leaving, they were angry at Gillian for staying, and they were angry at poor Robert Patrick, perfectly decent person, for merely existing. It got ugly and I got up caught up in that. Frankly, I was as much to blame as anyone in carrying on stupid arguments about crap that didn’t matter. And one day I just realized I’d let all the joy be sucked away, and this just wasn’t who I wanted to be, or how I wanted to spend my time. So, I took a break, I still watched the show as it limped on, but I disconnected from the fandom part of it. And by the time I’d had my break, the show was done!
Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?
I’m always a fan. There are many shows I’ve followed and liked, Supernatural, Fringe, Walking Dead, but I don’t get involved in the internet drama. So, I don’t get as invested.
Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?
I assume you mean besides Mulder and Scully!  In literature, My favorite writer is John Steinbeck and every character he created was indelible and singular. East of Eden is my favorite book and the characters of Adam & Caleb Trask, as well as Cathy Ames are so well drawn.  Of Mice and Men, Cannery Row, they’re all perfect.  Another favorite book and character is Alexandre’s Demas, The Count of Monte Cristo.  The arc that Edmond Dantès’ life take is quite Mulder-esque.  And of course, Harry Potter, I’m a sucker for a character fighting against overwhelming odds.
On TV, Sam Beckett from Quantum Leap.  That was an amazingly well-crafted series, also featuring a female show runner, Deborah Pratt.  I love the character of Raymond Reddington on The Blacklist, there is something about a completely unapologetic bad guy. I would have once said Dean and Sam Winchester, but sadly that turned into a case of staying too long at the fair and I stopped watching a couple seasons ago - But the early seasons rocked. Literally every single character in M*A*S*H was golden, and they knew when to call it quits. Thomas Magnum from the original Magnum PI. (People my age will still remember the “Did you see the Sun Rise, Ivan” episode!)
Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?
Oddly enough, a few weeks before you reached out to me, I watched the X-Files movie again. I remembered the incredible excitement when it came out. Fox did this tour across the county; it was like a mini-con. But I remember they had the trailer on a loop and my friends and I sat through it so many times we could recite the entire thing by heart. TV shows, such as Star Trek, had made the leap to movie, but I don’t believe a TV show had ever made the leap to films while the show was still on TV. But damn, it was good.
I watched the two recent XF mini-series. They did much to revive the old feeling, especially the episodes by Darin Morgan, who is a national treasure. And it was wonderful to see David, Gillian and Mitch. I’m sorry there won’t be more.
Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?
I haven’t in quite a while. Mostly because real life has interfered (work, personal stuff, Covid) over this last year and I have trouble concentrating. But I would certainly return to it, you need the escape of a good story.
Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?
Oh yes! But they were all from the time I was writing. Lydia Bower, DashaK, BlueSwirl, XFBandit, Paula Graves, Taverl, Prufrock’s Love, and dozens of other are still on my PC.
What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?
Like children, they each have their virtues but some may be harder to love than others. While I love a good smutty MSR, I was also a big fan of conflict resolution. So, I’m going to cheat and split the baby here. Based on feedback, I’d have to day my most popular story was Regular People and its sequel. And I really enjoyed writing that. It’s simple, it’s sweet, it’s what I hope for Mulder and Scully. The chance to just BE, if only for a while.
I wanted to try a slash story, so Wind River. That story was inspired by the murder of Matthew Shepard. I have dear friends in the gay community and I was so angry that this could happen in this country, so that one was about the need to treat people compassionately and who better to do that than Mulder and Scully.
But in truth, my own favorite is one that didn’t get much attention, called Rock Bottom. I wanted to explore that the fact Mulder and Scully, were, on occasion, just truly awful to each other and yet still reason to come back together.
Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?
I have a couple unfinished stories. There’s one from Quantum Leap, I want to finish first and when that’s done, I would like to finish the two X-Files that are half-baked.
Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?
I do legal writing as a profession now, so I write all day long, but analyzing a case or a legal matter is not the same creatively and I do miss that, so I see returning someday, you need to feed your soul.
Where do you get ideas for stories?
Well that’s all over the place, much like my mind! Often I was inspired by something I thought was unaddressed in the episodes. That’s where the Just One series came from. Or it’s a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern kind of thing -- That is, what’s happening off screen while the main action is going on. I find that intriguing, and that’s where Risking Everything came from. The incident in By Coincidence actually happened to a friend of a friend and I thought it would make good fodder. Pentimento came to me following a lecture I attended at a gallery, what happens when you peel back the layers you thought were true. You never know what’s going to connect.
What's the story behind your pen name?
“Chimerical” means existing  as the product of unchecked imagination, given to unrealistic flights of fantasy- which seemed right for a fiction writer, especially for XF. In the early days, it became the phonetic “KiMeriKal” when I was on the old AOL service simply because Chimerical wasn’t available as a screen name! But I’m finally [email protected]!
Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?
Yes, my friends are aware, some of them have been my betas over the years. My brother knows I write, but I don’t think he’s ever read anything because he would find the smut elements uncomfortable coming from his little sister!
Is there a place online (Tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?
The most recent versions of my stories are at AO3. If I ever get around to anything new it will be posted there as well.
Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?
Thanks for reading, thanks for remembering me, and it was a great time in my life. Fandoms are great communities as long as we can always remember there’s a human being at the other end of the keyboard.  Be kind, be compassionate, and never stop imagining the possibilities.
(Posted by Lilydale on February 23, 2021)
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coffeeshoptalkks · 3 years
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nct 127 kibbe types
key: (D) dramatic, (SD) soft dramatic, (FN) flamboyant natural, (N) natural, (SN) soft natural, (DC) dramatic classic, (C) classic, (SC) soft classic, (FG) flamboyant gamine, (G) gamine, (SG) soft gamine, (TR) theatrical romantic, (R) romantic
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the boyss ! ! ! 
taeil: SG? little unsure about this one... i considered R but his limbs are longer than an Rs would be but i would probably say he has a R essence as flowier fabrics like this look good on him
relatively large head in comparison to body
isnt delicate the way a TR would be
also TR lines don’t look great on him
im so sorry i always use ten for TR but like, TRs are freaking hard to type and hes non ambiguous so whoops
you can really see the contrast here
i feel like they always style him as a FG? and he just doesn’t have the yang to handle it 
think all the hair colors, excess excess amount of details that ty wears a lot
johnny: SD - sliGht C undertone 
long and lanky ass balloon man
thats all i got... jk. kinda
not a D, too much yin.
i’ve seen FN but really, hes not frame dominant, just looks tallish with a little squish in him
handles details decently well - oversized isn’t the best look
the reason i said a tiny c essence/undertone is because i prefer him in more minimalist SD clothing, more detail does start to look a little ridiculous (i promise i mean that in the nicest way possible lol, don’t come for my entp ass)
the classic comes in cause he looks PHENOMENAL in traditionally classic lines with a little umph and also looser classic lines (the yin in SD)
i needed to include this masterpiece
taeyong: FG. ah yes, the debate about ty... some argue D but he just doesn’t have the vertical line
(sitting somewhere btween D and FG, but FG fits better)
obviously a yang type
but you immediately remove any sort of natural and SD cause he isn’t wide and he isn’t squishy
doesn’t have the vertical line for a D, even from a lower angle you don’t look at him and go “yes, hes really tall” and thats what Ds are really about
it doesn’t matter how tall someone actually is, its how tall they appear to be, and taeyong just looks his height
think about how well ty carries every concept
thats a FG thing. (i can’t find the exact quote but a staff member said that its really interesting to style ty because u can put so many elements on him without it overpowering him
yuta: FG. if taeyong is a FG then so is Yuta
somewhere on the spectrum between FG and D but has to be put in FG just cause a dramatic’s first and foremost trait is vertical line
my next guess would be SD but really he doesnt have enough yin in him, hes all sharp
but because hes sitting somewhere in between he’s not gonna carry as much detail as a “purer(?)” FG
hes 100% yang based but doesn’t have the vertical line of a pure D
this looks phenomenal
he looks like a friggin anime character excUse me sir
i’m fine no i’m not
doyoung (dongyoung): SD. i’ve seen DC, and i do get the argument, but he isn’t as sharp as a DC would be.
you take a look at this and he just isn’t sharp in the way that seonghwa or vernon are
hes definitely a yang type but hes got an undercurrent of yin 
how do i explain this
SDs actually have a lot more yin than DCs despite them being placed closer to dramatic in a lot of graphs. (you know the ones i’m talking about)
even if you could make an argument for vertical line (as i think doyoung has a moderate to long one)
kai (a DC/C) is over 180 and yes he has a vertical line, but he has more yang than doyoung - hes just more boxy and has less yin
when i’m having trouble typing an idol i start looking really heavily at outfits and how they suit each style
doyoung just doesn’t make classic suits pop in the way a DC would
he looks restricted and needs a little extra yin detail to match 
the neck scarf with the draping absolutely ties this look together and he absolutely rocks it
he just doesn’t give me DC vibes and i really do think that SD fits him better
jaehyun: SC. leaning on pure classic with some sort of yin essence
okay, ngl i had problems with this one
I saw somewhere (probably reddit lmao) that jaehyun has a SD head on a not SD body... and i couldn’t agree more
my first instinct was to go to SD but really, he doesn’t have the vertical line and details don’t feel right
idk if its just how he’s styled but i really can’t find an era where i lOve what jaehyun is in
i genuinely think he’s just a larger boned SC with some SD mixed in with a weird combo of essences
a good example of a SC ish look is this where you can see the moderate vertical line (despite being 5′11/180)
it might be my personal bias coming in but i really do like him in more minimal and somewhat looser clothing opposed to him drowning in details
this confuses me cause it feels like it should work but it doesn’t...
this looks awesome this is pretty darn decent but i still feel like something is missing 
i compared jae’s vertical line to the SC poster boy joshua (svt 5th from the left) and kai (DC/C) and felt they josh’s was pretty similar but really, i wouldn’t rule out any of the classics or SD
idk if its just how he’s styled but i really can’t find an era where i lOve what jaehyun is in
tldr: big boned SC and thats as close as i’m gonna get lol
mark: FG. pretty self explanatory lol
leaning yang but obviously not a natural or (S) dramatic or classic
leaves you with FG
very sharp facial features
sharp sharp sharp
and a decent vertical line (looks his height ish)
rocks pretty much every hair color on the planet
if you asked me to nail down an essence i wouldn’t be able to hes just a FG lol
jungwoo: FN. classic essence
heres my problem with jungwoo... like jaehyun his type gets really ambiguous cause of essences not matching his actual body type (classic essence, FN type in this case)
because really, hes just too tall to be a DC,
too box like for SD
and his skin is much too yin to be a pure D (he is very squish, a true D - wonwoo svt is taught and yang through and through)
and once you rule out DC cause of height you’re kinda left with??
but his vertical line is just too prominent to be a DC, but hes not as shoulder heavy as most FNs and just?
*insert clown face*
a DC wouldn’t carry an oversized outfit like this
i actually like him in stuff like this, if not a little less oversized, he just looks so cozy
this gets close-ish but he looks a tad bit constricted
the reason i finally just gave in to FN is cause its as close as i think i can get. SD and D aren’t right, hes not a SN or pure N (jun svt) and in this pic (and others) you can kinda start to see that he IS actually more frame dominant than you first expect. (think like yanan pentagon, - minus the shoulders - super long limbs, lanky but still relatively squarish)
so FN it is
tldr: FN with a classic essence cause really thats (imo) the closest and best option you have and confused kpop fan 
haechan (donghyuck): G. right now i would put him in pure G but he might hit FG at some point in the future cause he isn’t 21 in international age and his type is still settling
boom vs resonance
okay its not that different but i sWEar hes picked up more yang somewhere
not a SG because his isn’t absolutely massive in comparison to the rest of his body 
chenle i’m looking at you (fifth from the left)
moderate to short-ish vertical line
sharp jawline vs squish face but he doesn’t have the sharp yang of a FG (mark)
just still got some squish on him 
33 notes · View notes
godkilller · 3 years
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@shirenui144
A more sombre question, but had me wondering... Has Gin ever cried / what would it take to make him cry? I imagine it would be verse dependent, but could a man this guarded ever visibly show such emotional hurt?
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          out of character.  Why must you hurt me.
          But it’s an excellent question, and as you say too -- Gin has become such a guarded, numbed, and twisted man. He has, for lack of better wording, killed off that part of himself long ago. He is also one of the topmost guarded characters in Bleach, even Ichigo’s little trick of ‘reading his opponent’s heart’ during battle did not work on Gin. Gin was empty. Gin wasn’t even ‘looking at Ichigo’ with his heart when fighting. They did not reach each other. Gin is so utterly closed off from others and himself that there’s an eerie absence of self present in him, a swallowing abyss, intimidating and oppressive. Gin has also spent his entire existence isolated, he joined Aizen extremely young and thus his centuries-long otherness began. He cannot show emotions akin to Toshiro, who is often used in ways alongside Gin to show what happens if one shows emotions and weakness to Aizen Sousuke via childhood friends. Renji and Rukia, too, are used in ways that contrast Gin and Rangiku subtly in the background. Gin’s interactions with Rukia about Renji, and his interactions with Toshiro about Momo are to make Gin more of an other. He is removed, unlike them.
          So Gin does not despair openly like they do. He doesn’t shout or cry for the audience to see. He’s a villainous cold-hearted bastard.
          This is on top of the potent sense of cultural toxic masculinity and military way of avoiding / “dealing with” emotionally charged moments, not speaking of trauma, and the whole nine yards of suppression which channels into self-worth issues and a tendency for violence. Most characters in Bleach, and especially male characters, aren’t allowed to really stop and think about what they’re feeling, doing -- Ichigo being able to do a decent amount of that, yes, with his protagonist badge, but even then ?  It’s pathetically insufficient, barely a taste of what Ichigo actually should be experiencing, and no other characters are allowed to mourn losses or suffer long-lasting consequences for their actions, for injuries, for mistakes, for harmful words or acts. It’s an action / fighting series, the audience is here for big flashy swordfights and cool abilities, not emotions. Certainly not darker topics of PTSD and the like.
          You can slice it any which way, but Gin grew up as a child soldier. It can be contrasted by the fact that the majority of the Gotei 13 / Shinigami characters are shown, in flashbacks, as entering the Academy whilst in adulthood, becoming Shinigami once adults, with the exception of people like Toshiro, Momo, Hiyori, who all look / are perpetually young.
          Gin is a little older than Toshiro, for context, by the way -- and he is younger than Byakuya. Because Tite doesn’t know how the ages of his own characters work, it can be argued that Gin and Hiyori are possibly within the same ballpark in terms of ages. But like. Look at her. What the fuck. ANYWAYS, the point is ?  Gin’s young, and his trauma is fairly fresh. From the Winter War -- and then 110 years into the past to the Turn Back the Pendulum arc -- Gin spends the majority of his childhood either playing caretaker for Rangiku, who is actually a little older than him, and then killing; first, the three Shinigami that attacked Rangiku, then the Third Seat of the Fifth Division, and then many more likely during his career of observing failed projects at Aizen’s side, witnessing horrific Hollowification experimentations, and many more things. The crucial period of development for things like higher level empathy  ( Gin showcases it by sharing his food with Rangiku, a stranger, and then we see the absolute absence of it from then on )  and Gin swiftly enters into the midst of Erikson’s industry vs. inferiority stage of development; what does he have to offer the world ?  What can he become ?  Will he be good enough ?  This is the stage in which Gin makes the connection as well as makes peace with becoming a monster; this is what I’m offering, this is what I’m becoming, this will be good enough.
          He flipped a switch. It’s questionable whether or not Gin has the ability to cry once he’s an established Third Seat. It’s gone, it’s been swallowed down a hole so deep and dark Gin doesn’t want to go searching for it. He doesn’t want to cry. Gin already has a negative connotation connected to crying given his quote “I’m gonna become a Shinigami, change things for ya, so that you don’t have to cry anymore, Rangiku.” Not crying = good. Not crying means better. Rangiku crying over what was done to her was what embedded into Gin that he needed to be stronger. No crying allowed. None. In his mind, obviously, Gin doesn’t actually make that connection that ‘because Rangiku did this, I’ll do this’ no, he’s not so meticulously aware yet, but there’s certainly an imprint left on him from those earlier years in the Rukongai, dreading her tears, hating them, hating those men, and so crying = murderous intent. Crying = anger.
          If Gin cried as a child, he didn’t realize he was doing so. I can see him crying in his sleep from a dream, a nightmare, a jam-packed series of emotions hitting him whilst vulnerable, whilst unable to smile and swallow it all down. I can see him waking from it and wiping at his face, feeling utter detachment like an ache in his chest, an otherness, like that wasn’t even him crying, that wasn’t him. Gin wouldn’t think more of it, he wouldn’t dare linger on the thoughts. Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know.mp4 and all that jazz.
          Gin is more likely to lash out in anger than let himself cry. I have a headcanon / drabble somewhere of Gin screaming into his inner world, clutching at his hair, feeling so terribly close to crying but he can’t, it literally will not happen. He’s too bottled up and frustrated from that that when he actually has an opportunity to cry and it doesn’t naturally happen because he’s become so suppressed, it just outright angers him. Because he has latched everything up, lock and key, by the time Gin’s an adult -- if he were to cry as an adult, it’d be during a flurry of explosive emotions. He cannot just casually let loose, no, that door’s jammed shut, it’s been coiled tight in him. A pit of despair by the time the Winter War rolls by. Gin admits to feeling anxiety, dread, during that conflict -- a sign of slowly coming undone, no longer able to keep himself from hesitance, doubt, insecurity, and anticipation hovering around him like a dark cloud. Gin cannot cry, though, not now. Not when he’s so close to making all the pain worth something...
          So it’s no surprise that Gin really only starts getting the actual opening to properly cry in my canon divergent verses. But the catch !!!!  Gin has failed so thoroughly and so brutally that he feels he doesn’t deserve to weep about it. That this is merely a fraction of the karma he deserves. He experiences suicidal ideation, daydreaming of how it’d simply be easier if he hadn’t survived at all. He feels too hollow to cry, then, at the start. He feels too heavy, too much, it’s too much to cry about. He ruined himself and Rangiku for nothing. He did all of this for nothing. And now Rangiku wants answers, still waiting, watching him, and he can’t cry in front of her. IT’S STILL INGRAINED IN HIM FROM CHILDHOOD: she’s the one who cries and he’s the one who comforts. The audacity of him to cry in front of her after everything he put her through, as though he were the victim and her the one needing to comfort him. Gin may be morally gray, but at times he truly sees the world in black and white. No moderation, no give and take.
          It’d hit him later, when he’s learning to become more vulnerable. When he’s trying to open up to Rangiku about something he has to rip from himself, his heart holding onto this sorrow for so long Gin has to surgically remove the truth from himself. AS A CHILD, WITNESSING WHAT HAPPENED TO RANGIKU COUNTS AS A TRAUMATIC EVENT. Not talking about it for 110+ years does a number or two on you when you at last, FINALLY, tell her the fucking scoop. Gin repressed what happened to Rangiku because he recognized that Rangiku did not fully and properly remember, recollect, what happened to her. He knew. Gin saw.
          Compartmentalizing her trauma on top of his own, as though a keeper of it, a sin-eater, Gin would feel absolute despairing relief at finally telling her. Despairing because he’ll be inflicting upon her something he’s been holding back, holding that door shut, for the entirety of their knowing of one another, and to finally let go of the door and let that beast of trauma go charging at her undeterred ?  There’s immense guilt attached to this entire affair. Gin feels childlike guilt; why her, and not me ?  I wish it could’ve been me, we could’ve traded places and I’d be fine, I’d live, we could live happy together.  Akin to survivor’s guilt, Gin wishes those men had found him and taken a piece of his soul rather than Rangiku’s. The ‘why’ of it haunts him. Why her. Why didn’t I stop them. Why didn’t I show up sooner. I could’ve bitten at them, kicked and hit, we could have escaped together -- or at least you could have. Gin also feels guilt at a base adult level: why am I keeping this from her ? No, it’s too late to tell her, she’s happier now, there will never be a good time to tell her.
          There are so many things, feelings, thoughts, that Gin has never shared with Rangiku due to it all being tied to the unspoken secret he’s let fester inside of him.
          SO WHEN GIN FINALLY TELLS RANGIKU WHY HE JOINED AIZEN, WHY HE TRIED TO KILL AIZEN, WHY HE SAID THOSE WORDS TO HER DURING THAT BLIZZARD AND BECAME A SHINIGAMI ... GIN’S GOING TO BREAK DOWN.
          The truth is tied to vulnerability in Gin’s mind. Telling it means ripping himself apart at the seams. Everything he crafted himself out to be was made around this secret. It’s going to be bloody, it’s going to hit him like a fucking train. Gin’s going to feel it coming, rumbling on the tracks, he’ll hear it even, that approaching storm, he’ll know by the prickle at his eyes and the closing of his throat, but still nothing’s ever prepared him for the absolute choked finality of the truth, and he’s going to do his best to hold it back -- it’s instinctive, it’s in his blood by now to mask it, stop it, divert and drawl his way out of it. But this time he can’t just stop halfway and distract her, talk about something else. No, Gin’s cornered himself and it’s high time Rangiku got the truth from him, he can’t run away any more. He’ll have to grit his teeth and talk through it, swallow it back just enough to speak, to tell her what he’s done to them both and for what, for why, it’s the worst possible conversation they could ever have, but one they need. And Gin’s going to find himself incapable of holding back a sob the more he discloses, the more that slips out and escapes him the more the emotions tied to that sunken anchor come up too. He will feel simultaneously lighter and heavier for it.
          There are numerous ways Gin’s thought about wording it. He’s thought about the numbed approach, MISSION REPORT style: Aizen Sousuke harvested souls from the 64th Rukongai District, they took a piece from you. Perhaps not, no, not like that. Maybe... back when y’were a kid, there were three Shinigami assigned to the 64th District to collect souls to fuel Aizen Sousuke’s Hogyoku. They took somethin’ from you. I saw it. I saw them hoverin’ over you, I saw it in their hands. I saw’em offer it up to Aizen in the forest, collectin’ firewood. I saw him.
          WHY DIDN’T I STOP HIM, WHY DIDN’T I ATTACK THOSE THREE MEN THEN AND THERE IN BROAD DAYLIGHT WITH YOUR COLLAPSED FORM A FEW FEET AWAY, MAYBE I COULD HAVE TAKEN THEM ON AFTER ALL. I COULD HAVE CRUSHED A SKULL IN WITH STONE, I COULD’VE STOLEN HIS SWORD BEFORE THE LIFE FULLY FADED FROM HIM AND MADE IT VANISH, I COULD’VE CARVED THROUGH THE SECOND, SLICE THE TENDON AT THE THIRD’S ANKLE AS HE ATTEMPTED TO FLEE, WARN OTHERS. SLIT HIS THROAT AS HE CRAWLED AWAY. YOU’D HEAR IT, OFF TO THE SIDE. YOU’D SEE ME COME UP TO YOU WITH BLOOD SPLATTERS. YOU’D SEE ME LEAN OVER YOU WITH NOT A PERSIMMON OFFERED, NO, YOUR OWN FUCKING SOUL THEY PLUCKED FROM YOU. SHAKY HAND. BLOODIED HAND. TAKE IT, TAKE IT BACK. I FIXED IT --
          Just tell her. JUST TELL HER.
          DO YOU REMEMBER THE DAY WE MET, RANGIKU ... ?
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veliseraptor · 3 years
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Top 5 Dorothy Dunnett gut punch moments?
oh man. oh man oh man. Okay, this is like...a selection, of scenes that I thought of first, though as I was writing this I thought of like six or seven others I could’ve included and just. boy!! Dorothy sure does love punching me in the feelings. 
but anyway, here’s at least a sampling of some that hit me every time.
1. The scenes between Richard and Lymond at the end of A Game of Kings. Like, I know it’s a huge swathe of pages but god, the whole thing just guts me every time. When I was in...idk, high school? Middle school? Both? I had this mental collection of “bits of books I reread when I want to cry” and this section of A Game of Kings was reliably one of those. It hits so many of my buttons.
When Amelia read it for the first time she told me it was something I could’ve written (not stylistically, just in terms of content) and I was like. I feel both honored and also called out. 
Feature quote: 
Lymond took his hands from his face. The blood was everywhere now; his torment of grief public, uncaring. “Must I plead?” He stopped in extremity, beaten, shaken by pulses, and then struggled on. “You claim your right of execution...May I not exercise mine? Could all the chains of Threave outweigh what I already bear, do you think? Or all the Tolbooth’s pains be worse than this? ...You can’t relieve me of your weight, or help me, or free me...except in one way.”
2. The fucking...chess scene??? I mean, there was a period of time - and still sort of is! - where just thinking about “come, my love, and say goodnight to the dark” made me want to lie down and cry. And now even more I think the immediately after where Marthe is prying Lymond away from the board and he’s...barely even registering his victory? The whole thing is just an absolute gut-wrench of a conclusion to the Lymond-Gabriel conflict. 
Dorothy Dunnett, thanks for kniving me ten times in the chest, then kicking me in the stomach with the scene afterwards between Francis and Philippa where she sort of emotionally blackmails him out of committing suicide.
Feature quote:
And at the Gaelic, Jerott said, ‘Dear God in Heaven,’ and looked away from Francis Crawford, whose face was that of a man tortured with thirst, or lack of air, or the bitterest hunger. Then Jerott saw that the mutes were closing in, and that in a moment the child would reach Francis’s arms, and he began to run, to spare him the last terrible betrayal.
But Mikal got there first, and swept the child into his own embrace, all carnation and jasmine and soft hair and bright tinkling jewels. ‘Come, my love,’ said MIkal, ‘and say goodnight to the dark.’ And held him close, full of a sweet young compassion, as the little boy died.
3. The scene in The Ringed Castle where Lymond realizes he’s having a Feelings. I should, first off, say that I am not usually one for ~revelation of feelings~ scenes (though I guess I did just list another one for a recent favorite moments meme, look, every so often I am a sap). But not only does this scene have a line that I just think is beautiful (it’s the one about ‘feeling like a dog whose master has just died), it is also just...god, it’s the most painful ‘oh no’ moment I think I’ve ever read, because it isn’t this glorious recognition of a good thing but almost this...dread.
Too late, too late, it had happened.
The way that Lymond greets this feeling is with pain, and with grief. And it is just...a very particular kind of painful to read. Because of the tenderness surrounding it, and the joy of the scene preceding, and then...and then.
Thanks for making a “oh no I’m in love” hurt so bad, Ms. Dunnett, I see how it is. (It’s working for me.)
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He looked at her. The long, brown hair; the pure skin of youth; the closed brown eyes, their lashes artfully stained; the obstinate chin; the definite nose, its nostrils curled. The lips, lightly tinted, and the corners deepened, even sleeping, with the remembrance of sardonic joy...the soft, severe lips.
And deep within him, missing its accustomed tread, his heart paused, and gave one single stroke, as if on an anvil. ‘We’re there, sir,’ Nicholas said.
The air hurt his skin. His nerves, unsheathed, left him over-sensitized and defenceless, as sometimes happened: exposed raw to the touch of his clothes, as if his flesh had been stripped off with acid. He remained perfectly still.
4. The scene in Checkmate where Lymond, uh, “confesses” to Philippa. It’s a mess. It’s a mess and it shreds my feelings to pieces and leaves them in little bloody bits all over the floor. It’s just so much, there’s all this...like, it’s Lymond at his most insufferable making decisions for other people because he thinks it’s what’s best, but it’s also Lymond at his most self-loathing, and it’s like. 
Okay. You know what it is? It is that Dorothy Dunnett does ‘close cut scenes with small numbers of characters crashing into each other at full emotional speed’ really well. It’s so tense - the scene builds and builds and the crescendo moment of Philippa breaking the glass isn’t even the end of it. I feel this scene as I’m reading it, and not just in an emotional sense.
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She was breathing almost as quickly as he was. But she kept her voice calm. ‘As you say, I’m inexperienced. On the other hand, you are not always right. Please listen. Please think. Are you sure, when it matters so much, that you know my feelings better than I do?’
‘No,’ he said. ‘I’m not infallible. You might, without my crediting it, fall deeply in love and for ever, with some warped hunchback whelped in the gutter. I should equally stop you from taking him.
She couldn’t speak. Her breath wheezed in and out. With extreme deliberation, and indeed restraint and moderation as well, Philippa raised her glass and dashed it on the parquet. Crystals frosted the carpet between them, and the wine lay like blood.
Speech came back. ‘God in heaven,’ Philippa said. ‘Do you think that I care?’
He looked up from the mess. ‘I know you don’t,’ Lymond said. His eyes were black, not blue; and there were red splashes on the white velvet. ‘But you must excuse the hunchback, who does.’
5. Christian’s death in A Game of Kings. The thing about Dorothy is the thing where she makes really excellent female characters and then kills them. 
But I think Christian’s death is, in-narrative, one of the most wrenching - because Christian has been, throughout, such a good presence, such a positive presence, so determinedly steadfast and brave and kind - and the fact that her death is ultimately futile is just. 
It makes me want to scream. But in the “THIS IS A MOTHERFUCKING TRAGEDY, I HATE IT, THANKS” kind of way. 
Christian is, viscerally, a casualty of a war that’s not about her. And the way that her death is used, too - as a cudgel, as ammunition - just compounds the tragedy of her loss. 
Feature quote:
Then Lymond picked up Christian’s hand and carried it to his lips, holding it afterward folded in both his own. “More than I ever dreamed of,” he said - and like the serpent she had once called him, snarled voicelessly into Kate’s eyes as she looked up, horror-struck, from what the girl’s lifted hand had left revealed.
For the sheets of creased paper which Christian had brought with such pains from Haddington, which Margaret had found not worth her attention, and which Lymond had at last received, were quite blank.
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songtoyou · 4 years
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Mr. Evans and the Congresswoman - Part 2
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Paring: Chris Evans x Politician Reader
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,858
Warnings: Political topics such as Biden, Harris, our current White House occupant and the current administration. 
Description:  It is the week of the DNC and Chris is once again interviewing you for A Starting Point. 
A/N: The DNC inspired me to write a second part for this story.  This is pure fiction as I do not know what Chris believes when it comes to politics and policy issues. This is a complete work of fiction.
I do not permit my work to be to be posted on any other site without my permission.
Note: Updated for grammar and punctuation edits.
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"Hi, Congresswoman Y/L/N?" Chris Evans asked with a smile.
He was once again interviewing you for ASP. This time it was during the week of the Democratic National Convention. Chris and Mark had already talked to other politicians such as Senator Cory Booker and Representatives Ro Khanna and Alma Adams. You were the last elected official he was slated to interview to wrap up the DNC week.
Truthfully, Chris was happy to get the chance to talk with you again. Your previous interview for ASP was such a hit that it garnered a lot of attention from fans and the media. However, it was not because you helped bring more legitimacy and attention for ASP, but instead, Chris found himself genuinely admiring you.
"Hi," you said to Chris, giving a small wave through the Zoom screen. "I told you to call me by my first name."
"I know, but I still want to show respect," Chris responded with a teasing smile. Was he mildly flirting with the congresswoman? Yes, but he had no shame in doing so. "How are you? You are looking well."
"I am doing well. Thank you. How about you?"
"Same. Just trying to stay sane through everything. I'm actually currently in London. Working on a project." Chris admitted.
"Uh oh. You better be staying safe and following the right procedures and protocols," you lightly reprimanded him.
"My fans ratted me out. They found where I was just by the hotel door. Can you believe that? That is some FBI-level investigating, right there. I'd be impressed if I weren't also terrified of the lengths some of these fans will go to scout my location," Chris ranted. He did not understand why he was sharing this with you, but a part of him felt comfortable doing so.
"That…is quite impressive, I must say. Creepy. Scary. But impressive. You need to learn how to put in a Zoom background. It would solve all of your problems," you suggested to him.
"I would, but I'm technology deficient. Maybe I should look up some Zoom tutorials on how to do it. Give it a try."
"There is no try…only do," you advised cheekily.
"Now you're quoting Yoda. A woman after my own heart," Chris replied. He knew he needed to refocus. "So, as you can tell, Mark won't be joining us for this interview. I'm going to hit record if that is okay?"
"Okay. I'm ready when you are," you said.
When the record notification appeared on screen, Chris introduced you and immediately went into the first question.
"How do you think the DNC is going so far, particularly how this year is more of a virtual setting rather than in-person due to COVID-19?"
"Despite not having the big in-person celebration/gathering, I think the virtual setting is working very well. Better than I expected, actually. It gives off a more inclusive and intimate vibe to the DNC that we haven't felt before. I like the whole documentary approach and feel to it," you replied honestly.
"Were you excited that Joe Biden chose Senator Kamala Harris as his running mate?" asked Chris.
"Oh my God! I was so happy that Vice President Biden chose Senator Harris as his running mate. Like, my staff and I were beyond ecstatic. There is no one better to be Biden's running mate than Harris. She is amazing. Such an inspiration. I'm not going to lie, but I'm really excited for the debate between her and Pence."
That made Chris laugh. "Yeah, me too. Senator Harris really knows how to pull all the punches. Her nomination as VP has been met with overall positive response. The Trump Administration and Republican pundits appear to have a hard time painting a negative image of Harris. Why do you think Trump and Fox News are struggling to provide a negative image for her?"
"That is an excellent question. The public's overwhelming response to Harris' nomination is because 1.) she is the first black and south Asian woman to be on a major presidential ticket, and 2.) she is likable and charming. She has this exuberant energy that attracts people to her. You know, black and brown women and girls finally have someone that looks like them running for the second-highest office in the land. That is huge!
"I also have to wonder if people have smartened up in the last four years and won't tolerate the…hypocrisy, sexism, and misogyny…in this case misogynoir that is thrown towards Senator Harris from the media, political pundits, social media bots, etc. So, what we are seeing with Trump and Fox News struggling to attack her is because…well…they just aren't smart. All we have seen from Trump in his attacks against her is that she was mean to Kavanaugh when questioning him during his nomination process. But none of what Trump says holds up because we all know that smart, confident women intimidate him," you finished off your point.
"There is also the left…or more of the progressive left who are unhappy with Biden choosing Harris," Chris spoke up and continued, "They say she is a cop and put people away for weed. That she took kids away from parents when the kid didn't show up for school. That Harris is too conservative. What do you say to that?"
"All of that is…you know…. Senator Harris one of the most policy progressive senators we have. Her voting record is more progressive than Bernie Sanders. All people have to do is research her time as a district attorney and Attorney General for California to find out what she actually did concerning policy. But as we both know, people nowadays don't know how to critically think, which scares me. Progressives need to look at the overall big picture. This election in November is crucial. We are in the fight for our democracy, for our country, and for our lives…literally."
"I talk with my brother, Scott, all the time about certain political issues," mentioned Chris. "He is a tad more progressive than I am. I can admit that I tend to be more centrist. The district you represent is a mix of blue and red areas; how do you balance opposing views from your constituents?" 
You took in a deep breath before you answered. That was a loaded question. Representing a district that was not solely red, or blue could be difficult from time to time. You wanted to be respectful of the different viewpoints from constituents, but maintaining a neutral balance was hard and frustrating at times. 
"The majority of Americans are centrist/moderates. You need a balance of both liberal and conservative policies. Bipartisanship is crucially important when developing and passing laws. We are currently seeing an overt of one-sidedness while sabotaging the other side, which is detrimental to our country's growth. It is important to reach across the aisle to talk with those who may have opposing views than you. At the end of the day, people just want to feel that their concerns are heard and valued. We all want to feel that way. So, as an elected official, I make sure to take the time to talk with those in rural areas, along with urban areas, about their issues and concerns," you shared.
"Do you ever get any pushback from Trump supporters in the red areas?" Chris inquired.
"Well, it is important to note that not all residents in rural areas are Trump supporters. They just tend to keep that to themselves. I have actually talked to Trump supporters in blue areas. We can never and should never assume that one area has this type of person and vice versa. I learned that the hard way when I was campaigning for city council early in my career," you revealed to Chris with a small chuckle. "But overall, my constituents will talk with me and have been respectful. Some of the concerns that have been shared with me do fall under the QAnon conspiracy theories, which do disturb me, I'll be honest. Um…when being confronted with someone who has that extreme of ideals, it is important to remain calm and not to come off combative. Meaning that I have to remind myself that I am not quite dealing with a rational person. The only thing that I can do is calmly talk to the person and respond back with facts. Either they listen or brush me off and call me a radical lefty."
"The majority of people are good, like you said," Chris reminded you.
"That's right. It's a good mantra to live by. I think the American people are tired and have been tired for the past four years with this Administration. We need a sense of normalcy and decency. Compassion and empathy, which were two of the big themes during the DNC. This week was a nice reminder that we, as a country, can have that again."
"I agree. Very well said. You always end on a positive. I appreciate that. Thank you, Congresswoman Y/L/N, for taking the time to talk with me. You always provide great insight into the world of politics and your experience as an elected official," said Chris and ended the recording. "That was really great, Y/N. I know Mark, and I really appreciate you taken the time to do these interviews for ASP," Chris added.
"Oh, it is no problem. Like I said before, I like what you both are doing with the site. Are you happy with how everything turned out?" you asked him.
"Yeah… it's…it took a while to just get the website up and running. I know there is still work that needs to be done. Some areas need to be fixed, but with a project like this, we can adjust. There is more room for improvement and growth," Chris communicated to you.
You nodded in agreement. "Politics is a whole different ballgame. Not many people are willing to venture into the field. It can cause a lot of annoyances and headaches. So, hats off to you, my friend," you said, giving Chris a salute.
"Thank you. Well, I better let you go. I know you must have a million things on your plate."
"Ah yes, I have to go and save the United States Postal Service from corruption. Talk to you later, Chris. Take care," you waved goodbye and signed off.
Chris had to admit, he was in awe of you. There was something about you that fascinated him. None of the elected officials he and Mark talked to for ASP had the liveliness you had. You were not jaded or defeated by the system, at least not yet, since you were still considered a junior member of congress. Chris hoped that the energy and enthusiasm you had for politics and helping people would not diminish. When his Uncle Mike was still a congressman, he shared with Chris that D.C. can cause a lot of strain on a person's values and beliefs. "I have seen too many of my colleagues succumb to the pressures of dirty politics," Uncle Mike once said.
Chris just hoped that you would not succumb to those pressures.
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