#one day i’ll explain why dennis is me. but honestly it should just be obvious

[gaylittleeddie]

some buddie prompts: "you're my family too" "when I first met you I didn't think you would become this important" "I didn't want to cry" "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong" "it's alright I'm here I'm real, it was just a nightmare" I'm a sucker for angst with an happy ending lmao, sorry if you have already done of this.

I’ll probably do another one of your prompts too but you said angst with a happy ending so here you go. I apologize if it’s bad. This is my first time doing prompts

prompt: you're my family too

word count: 1585

sent in by: @lil-italian-disappointment

Send me a prompt :) it can be for any characters/ships but I don’t do smut so

Eddie didn't know what to expect when he showed up unannounced at Buck's house, but it certainly wasn't this.

Buck was in his kitchen, sobbing over a picture before he had turned to look at whoever walked in. The older man didn't know what to do but stand there like an idiot in the doorway with his hand clutching the doorknob so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Sure, they've had their emotional moments. It's not like the two have never been vulnerable with each other. They're best friends. That's part of the point of someone being your best friend. You trust them with you and allow them to know parts of you that never usually never see the light of day.

But the way the blond quickly wiped at his face and pulled a grin that didn't quite sit right only made Eddie believe he walked in on something that he wasn't meant to ever know about. Which, kind of stung a bit. He smiled back anyways, "Hey man."

"Hey," Buck responded, sliding the picture into his pocket, "To what do I owe this pleasure to?"

It was a weak attempt at a joke. Or rather, a way to brush off whatever it was that had been witnessed. Every part of Eddie was screaming at him to investigate. To figure out why those blue eyes were bloodshot from tears that should have never even been there in the first place. They stood there, bodies tense. Both most likely afraid of what the other would say. What is there to say? What can they even talk about?

The city a couple of stories below was still the same as it had been just moments before but somehow the whole world had felt almost darker than it did. On the borderline of eerie. Something heavy had found its way in and rested uncomfortably in the area where his heart should be. The sound of throat clearing slightly shook him out of it.

"Oh, uh. I just wanted to see you, I guess," Eddie chuckled.

That was the truth, honestly. He never planned on telling Buck that. However, it was out there now, floating around innocently. The brunet probably, if not under the circumstances that he was now, would have died before admitting that to himself much less Evan Buckley. It held meaning. Hidden in plain sight but very obvious at the same time.

“I wanted to see you” didn’t mean just now. When then? Every day. For the rest of their lives if he was given the chance. He did want to see him that much, true. Yet, there were so many other things that he wanted more. Like two matching wedding bands glistening in certain lighting or turnout gear with the same names etched on the bottoms of it. He wanted family. Not that they weren’t now. But, he wanted a different kind. Not the “my best friend is someone we consider to be a pseudo-member” but more of “this is my boyfriend/husband and my son.” They were there, just out of reach of it. Eddie swore it taunt him every day.

He allowed himself to finally close the door. The taller man pulled out two beers and opened them before gesturing to one. Eddie continued, "It was getting a little boring staring at the same four walls in silence."

As he made his way over to the beer and picked it up to take a sip, he thought about how exactly to approach this situation. Comforting people was never a strong suit, of course excluding Christopher because that his son. It’s somehow easier. Well, kind of. He still needed his friends help with that sometimes, too. So how does one console the person who’s usually doing it?

“Eddie, I’m fine,” Buck sighs.

Even though he claimed that, it didn’t match what he was conveying. The firefighter’s posture was slightly slumped, his eyes were still red, and his hair was unkempt as if he’d been tugging at it in frustration. “I didn’t say you weren’t, Buck.”

“You didn’t have to. I can hear your thinking from here.”

Even though he knew it was just a saying, the thought of having Buck being able to hear his every thought scared the hell out of him. But that’s totally off topic. Eddie sighed into the air, shaking his head. He knew his friend wasn’t okay. He knows that man like the back of his hand.

“What’s going on?” Eddie asks, “We both know I saw you so let’s just not cut corners and get right into it. Why were you crying?”

The blond huffs, walking to the stairs and sitting down. His blue orbs glared at the floor, like it was it’s fault that he was feeling this way. The other man sets the beer down gently before coming over to lean against the railing, willing to wait for him to be ready to talk whenever. No words came, though. Instead, Buck reached back into his pocket and held out the picture.

Eddie took it. At first glance, it was nothing special but upon further inspection it was easy to make out that it was both Maddie and Buck. They were staring at the camera, neither smiling. Suitcases were piled in front of an old beat up car and a bag was slung across the older sibling’s back.

“That was one of the times she left. College. I’m not mad at her, obviously. I ran from our parents as soon as I could too. But looking back at it, especially after Red, really makes me realize that at the end of the day it’s always just been me,” Buck explains, “And I’m not even enough for myself so I get why everyone leaves.”

Eddie’s head snaps up at that. Did this man really just have the audacity to say that? Buck not being enough? That in itself doesn’t even sound partly right. “Buck, what-“

His partner cuts him off, “Don’t Eddie. I know you want to make me feel better but it’s not going to work. It’s true. I’m not enough. That’s why I have no one. Everyone around me has someone else, has family outside of the 118, so it has to be something wrong with me.”

Eddie felt like someone just punched him clear in the chest. No, actually he’s felt that before. It doesn’t hurt as bad as this. This was like he couldn’t breathe in a full breath, as if someone was strangling him. How long has Buck felt like this? How come he’s never noticed? Why would Buck feel this way?

Couldn’t he see? Couldn’t he tell that Eddie was so helplessly in love with him? Why didn’t he know that Christopher looked at him as if he created the world itself. Was Buck that good at hiding it or was Eddie just not paying attention until it slapped him clear in the face?

So many questions, none with clear answers. Eddie swallows down all of his own feelings, sitting next to Buck and stared at him until their eyes met. The younger man seemed slightly taken aback from the reaction, probably expecting him to say something rather than just observing silently.

“You have family,” Eddie states.

“Not like that-“

“Exactly like that.”

Buck blinks a couple of times at that. Confusion was slowly forming upon his features and Eddie’s heart broke just a tiny bit more at the fact that this man didn’t know how important he was in the Diaz unit. Without him, where would they both be? Chris wouldn’t have met Carla, Eddie would of probably gave in and move back to Texas. So many things would have been different and not for the better. Hell, his parents probably would have tried to get custody over their grandson at this point and something tells him he wouldn’t have won against them. Not because he’s some terrible parent. No. He just works a lot. Buck has improved their lives so much.

Of course, it only went worse from there. The tears were coming back from wherever they were stashed away before and wasn’t that just a kick in the chest?

“I mean, I know I have Maddie but she has Chim. Hen has Karen, Denny, and Nia. Bobby and Athena have each other plus their own thing going on with Michael, May, and Harry... You have Chris-“

“You’re my family too, Evan,” Eddie whispers slightly, “And not just in the best friend way.”

And the look that he got from that little sentence? It was like he hung the stars. Complete awe. Buck looked so beautiful, just like always but somehow that expression just complimented him so well. Why haven’t they always done this? Especially when it’s like Evan Buckley was meant to gaze at Eddie like that, with hopeful eyes and a genuine smile.

“Yeah?” Buck swallows.

“Yeah.”

He took a leap of faith and reached out to wipe a stray tear from his best friend’s cheek with his thumb. Buck leaned into the touch, grinning even wider if possible. They move together at once, both closing their eyes and pressing their foreheads together.

The city below resumed to it’s busy life, the darkness from earlier no longer being a threat to it. Eddie knows, in the very deepest part of him, that he got his partner to understand tonight. Just for safe measures, however, he breathes, “Mi familia es su familia.”

#tv: 911 #911 on fox #9-1-1 #911 fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #send me a prompt :) #otp: you wanna go for the title?

[shsl-nishishi-blog]

Please Believe Victims!

Something that people don't seem to understand is that it's extremely difficult to prove sexual assault. Everyone being like "bUt WhErE iS tHe PrOoF?!" doesn't seem to understand that. The fact that there was even SOME pictures of people clearly looking uncomfortable in his embrace is honestly more proof than a lot of people usually have when trying to prove sexual assault. And the fact that there's a lot of people saying things, their stories, is another thing. I've never had any experience with Vic. I've met him once, he gave me off vibes, that was it. BUT I want to talk about my own experience being sexually assaulted, and I want to explain why it's so difficult to prove. Again, this is not a Vic story. I don't want to say the name of this person. I'm not comfortable saying his name publicly. He knows a lot of people in the anime community and cosplay community. He knows very popular cosplayers, he's friends with people who staff/run conventions. No, he's not some famous guy. His following isn't giant, but he just knows a lot of important people. That aside, here we go. I met this guy when I was 17, and I finally cut ties with him a bit after my 21st birthday. We met at a cosplay gathering, I was cosplaying Jin from Blazblue. He approached me because he knew of Blazblue, and we were having a nice chat about it. I barely knew this guy, but man I was super delighted to meet a fellow Blazblue fan. I don't exactly remember who he was cosplaying, but I'm 90% sure it was Xemnas from Kingdom Hearts. I also want to mention I believe he was 21 or 22 at the time; so an adult. Nothing uncomfortable happened, until we were all called for group photos. All the cosplayers at the gathering went over for photos, us included. A bit after the photos, when we were more alone (one of my friends was also there), he grabbed my ass. And not just once, a few times. He spanked me too. I didn't really know what to do, I was surprised, terrified, I looked clearly uncomfortable, but I really didn't say anything. I kinda just pretended it didn't happen. I really hoped I'd never see this guy again, but I kept seeing him at cosplay gatherings. There was one gathering around Christmas that same year, I was in my really shitty magnemite gijinka cosplay, and he just kept spanking me so many times. I told him to stop at that point. Not only was it uncomfortable, but it hurt, it startled me each time too. I don't like getting startled. He started to pout and act like he should be pitted, and it genuinely made me angry. I tried to avoid a lot of gatherings for a bit, but then there was this Homestuck one my friend and I went to. I was never into Homestuck, but we just decided to go. I went as Sougo from Gintama, but in a kigurumi (since my full cosplay didn't arrive yet). And that guy was there, so was his girlfriend (who btw was underage at the time). For a good amount of the gathering, he was okay. I thought "yeah, maybe he's finally gonna stop." We all hung out because we didn't really fit in with the Homestucks. A bit later on in the gathering, he had his hand behind my back, and he was trying to sneakily undo my bra strap. Thank god I caught him + thank god I was wearing ace bandages for binding (NOTE: don't use ace bandages to bind!). So like :/ He also would message me on facebook, and I was scared.. So I put myself in a relationship with a fictional character (Gray Fullbuster, because I used to be mad thirsty for him). That didn't work for obvious reasons, so I turned my chat off, so it looked like I was offline. >> obviously...didn't work.. After that gathering, I'd see him at cons. Thank GOD at least that one year, he was busy running around. I didn't have to deal with him. My friend's birthday came around, and I guess he was invited or something. I don't 100% remember everything from that day, but I was cosplaying gijinka shaymin. After the birthday gathering, we went over to Ihop (might have been Denny's, but they're super similar so). And he sat next to me (of course). I was put in a very uncomfortable situation. I have my phone on me, he asked for my number, and I was too scared to say no. I did say "I rarely text, so I don't think there's a point." He obviously didn't care. We exchanged numbers. The entire time we were eating, he kept texting me stuff. I ignored it, and he'd be like "hey check your text". He asked for nudes, and I whispered "I'm not that kinda person". and he kept whisper begging me "just one little peek? just one?" and don't worry, I never sent it to him. Also unfortunately, this was on a very old flip phone. idk where it is or how I can recover these text messages (or if it's even possible), but if anyone knows how, please tell me. Then there was a summer gathering. I guess my friends and one of his friends were really uncomfortable with his behavior towards me, and all decided to team up to confront him about it. I guess he had this weird fixation on me for whatever reason. There's stuff I still don't know about the conversation they all had, idk everything his friend knew (btw this friend of his is still a very good friend of mine, bless his soul). So I was there when this confrontation happened, he was like "sorry, I'll never do it again." I said "it's okay, I forgive you." Because I'm an anxious wreck and hate conflict. OBVIOUSLY, this wasn't the last of it. It got a whole the worse. So after my 18th birthday, there was an end of the summer gathering. I was in my Sougo cosplay. I was playing Pokemon on the grass, and he came over. (btw he did grope me a few times throughout the day, but I honestly can't fucking remember each time he groped me throughout the time I knew him, so I'm just telling significant parts of the story). And he tried to touch in between my legs. I clearly remember that time, I said "no". It was in a small voice, but I said it, he heard it, and he didn't stop. Also something I forgot to mention. He'd often call me sexy an be like "I want to kiss you" or "I want to have sex with you" whenever less people were around, and it was so uncomfortable. Thankfully, one of my guy friends at the time saw and came over. He was like "Hey, you're playing Pokemon, right? Can you show me your Pokemon?" and he pulled me away, and asked if I was okay, promised to stick with me for the rest of the gathering. There was going to be a party afterwards, which I said no to, but that gross man tried to convince my friend to go (and since she was going home with me, I had to stick with her). But that guy friend helped me convince her not to go. That whole situation is something I'll never forget, and I'm so happy this guy friend was there. But it just kept getting worse. << gonna flash forward to when I was in college, because this was when a lot of the bad stuff started happening. I was really depressed when I started college. I mean like a lot of people are? I felt like I was undeserving, I was sad I wasn't a kid anymore, and I was terrified of being an adult. I'd cry a lot in the car before class. I didn't really talk to people at school. I felt super mega alone all the time. Like when you're in high school, you get to see friends every single day, but since I knew no one, well.. :/ That and I was way too anxious to talk to anyone unless approached first (surprise surprise, I'm still this way Dx ) Anyways, the only time I'd get to see friends was sometimes on weekends, it wasn't too often at first, since my friends were all super busy and stuff. I saw that gross person at a cosplay gathering, I was cosplayed as Chihiro from Danganronpa. And like.. he wasn't be really weird to me. He was being nice, normal, nothing creepy. And I got comfortable. We started messaging a little bit on facebook, and he wasn't being weird. I thought he changed. And for a few times after, he wasn't doing anything weird either. My dumbass agreed to hang out with him and his girlfriend, and even then, even the first few times, it was a completely normal hangout. I thought he might have grew out of that. Because I genuinely believe people can change, but it was all a lie. I believe he was trying to pull me in, get me comfortable, so that I would lower my guard. He even would pay for my food, despite me insisting I could. He'd also pay for things I'd try to buy on my own, and refused to take my money. I thought "wow, he's being a nice person." Eventually, he started making sexual jokes. I thought nothing of it, but that should have been a huge red flag. He eventually started touching me again, even with his girlfriend around. She never did a thing about it, but maybe she was scared (btw same girlfriend I mentioned earlier. The one he dated when she was underage; she was the same age as me). Touching like.. he'd grope my boobs, my ass, slide his hand between my legs, try to reach under my shirt/pants. He'd say so often "I want to have sex with you", "I want to have a threesome". and would ask me what my fetishes were (never said it), and just like.. super gross stuff. But I was a big dumbass. I stuck with this for years. Dealt with it because he was nice to me. I'd think "well, it wasn't happening all the time, so if it happened, it would be over within a minute probably". Whenever he'd do something, I'd freeze up outta fear and count in my head. Sometimes it lasted 10 seconds, sometimes a few minutes. I dealt with it because he was nice to me, and I was so insecure. My mom and grandma didn't know about this at all. Once my mom almost found out. She saw a weird facebook message on my laptop while I wasn't in the room (I left messages open on my screen), and she asked me. I lied to her, and she kept asking. I kept lying and convinced her it was just a joke. I remember this one thing he told me, I was 20. He was talking about someone he used to be friends with. How he'd do this stuff to her, and she'd just pretend like it wasn't happening too. He told me he thought it was cute how I'd get all stiff and act like it wasn't happening. That's really fucking disgusting. He started getting upset with me because I made some more friends, and we started hanging out, he wasn't invited of course. Especially my second year of AX. Oh gosh I also witnessed him verbally abusing his girlfriend, but I won't go into that right now. But it was terrifying. I witnessed it happen a few times. And idk if I ever publicly talked about my triggers. But angry screaming is very triggering to me, so erhdcj. Anyways, after my 21st birthday, my friend and I went to a mini convention. There was a contest, I misunderstood what she said and thought she wanted me to keep the whole thing a secret from everyone. So I told no one where I was going, I was even like "hey mom, my friend and I are gonna go to LT!" and she was like "Cool". So that whole day was a bunch of fun. One of our friends took pictures and posted it, and that gross man (who wasn't there, didn't know I was going) messaged me a sad face. I genuinely didn't know what was wrong, so I asked him. He was very angry that I didn't tell him where I was going, like that was something I was supposed to do. This anger scared me, so I distanced myself for a bit. He started purposely doing things on social media to make me upset, one including my fb name being reported (still convinced it was him, because the fact that it didn't happen until this is just so strange). Then there was this event I was supposed to host that came up. I was.. terrified he was gonna go, so terrified I had an anxiety attack in my room. And my mom came into this worried, and that was the day I told her everything, all the stuff that man did. And god I was terrified she wasn't going to believe me, that she was going to get angry at me, but when she gently pulled me into her arms and hugged me close.. it was.. a very nice feeling. I didn't go to the gathering, another friend of mine hosted it for me instead. And then a convention months later happened. Previously I talked to his girlfriend about it. and she was being an apologist for him. He tried to approach me at the con, I walked away. He messaged me, and I officially cut ties with him. Despite no longer having ties with that terrible human being. I'd see him at so many events. And he'd purposely do things to make me uncomfortable. Like waving at me, or going up to people who were close by me. He even tried to recently friend my noncosplay fb, which I forgot to block him on. *DEEP BREATH* And I never reported him. I was afraid to. I thought about it so many times, but I thought "wow, what proof do I even have?" I have a few weird facebook messages, but those could have easily just been pushed aside because they really weren't much. I don't have pictures of him doing anything. I don't have video. There was witnesses, yes. But that's just someone's word, yeah? He also knew so many people, so many important people.. So many sexual assault cases are like this. People are too afraid to report because they're scared they won't be believed (I mean, look at how many people who are calling those who're coming out about Vic liars?). Because when victims look around, all they see are the various situations in which people try to report someone, and they're not believed. Companies, communities, authorities not taking them seriously. In so many sexual assault cases, there's not going to be video proof, picture proof, voice recordings, screenshots, etc. It's usually just someone's word, someone's experience. And I get that's not much, but consider this. When there's SO MANY PEOPLE saying the same fucking thing about someone, such as in Vic's case, that's a giant red flag. And when things are being said for years, that's not enough? LOOK AT HOW MANY PEOPLE CAME FORWARD ABOUT VIC! LOOK HOW LONG THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR!!! In my case, with the person I was talking about in my story, the gross man.. I've heard people have reported him to con staff, people have tried to say things (he's done stuff to a lot of people), but nothing has ever happened. No punishment, nothing. He's nice to people on the surface. He's good at talking. He's made people happy. I'm sure there's people who'd be like "wow _____ did nothing wrong because he's so nice to me uwu". He knows a lot of people. I've heard he's also ruined people too. What's the point of all this? Yes, Vic is good at playing nice. He knows how to say things people want to hear, he knows how to act in such a way so that he looks like a good guy. I mean, why else would there be so many posts in the #KickVic tag of people being like "Vic did nothing wrong. Here's a picture of me and Vic hugging uwu he's so nice." I want to end this by saying.. Sometimes the nicest people turn out to be the worst people. And I get it's something hard to take in, I get it's hard not to be in denial. But the proof is out there. I know it's not video proof or stuff like that, but the voices of so many people screaming about this for over a decade should be enough. Why the fuck would THAT many people, voice actors included, spend over a decade plotting his downfall? That shit doesn't make sense. Like seriously.. the amount of people who've been coming out about Vic Lasagna is a lot, and it's been going on for over a decade. Think about that.

#kickvic #metoo