#once upon a shitpost

[itsguysnightitsironic]

My favourite part of Once Upon a Witchlight was when the Witchlight said "Once Upon a Wicthlight!" and Oncing Uponing a Witchlighting all around.

Take the tumblr textposts memes from me, I'm begging--

#legends of avantris #once upon a witchlight #gideon coal #kremy lecroux #morning frost #gricko grimgrin #torbek #this is the cry for help-- #shitpost #it's been a weird week

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Yang: This reminds me of the Time we learned about the decision making Framework of the Sugondeez.

Jaune: Who are the Sugondeez?

Yang: Sugondeez Nuts.

Jaune: GOD DAMN IT!

~~~~~

The Jinxy Peddler: It you want that, All I need is your greatest joke. I already have one in mind.

Yang: Oh? Which one?

Weiss: The one the gods hate the most...

Yang: But I was saving for the Grand Finale!

~~~~~

RK!Jaune: So you had to get stuff from Jinx? What'd it cost?

Yang: Well, the price wasn't too bad. For a moment I was worried he'd turn me into a Mind Goblin.

RK!Jaune: What's a Mind Goblin?

Yang: *Opens mouth to speak, no words come out*

RK!Jaune: Yang, What's a Mind Goblin? Help me out! I've never heard of one!

Yang: It's- It's a psychic-

RK!Jaune: I don't understand, like, Finish the thought, why would you open your mouth to answer if you can't articulate what's a Mind Goblin? Didi you run into one? Is there something I haven't seen yet?

Yang: *A Single tear running down her cheek* Yeah, Yeah it's something you haven't seen yet.

#rwby #jaune arc #yang xiao long #weiss schnee #rwby shitpost #the rusted knight #legends of avantris #once upon a witchlight

[eyes1nthewoods]

#once upon a witchlight #legends of avantris #my art #the best thing i've made in over a year and it's a shitpost. good job me.

[explosiv-glasses]

THEM

#shitpost #meme #legends of avantris #gay #once upon a witchlight #art #artwork #kremy x gideon #kredeon #kremy lecroux #gideon coal #coalecroux #size difference

[unironicallycringe]

so my partner keeps getting spam bot messages on facebook, and they decided to entertain themself by responding in long noir detective monologues. i decided it needed an audio drama version.

i have no idea how to tag this. i'm dumping it into the tumblr ocean and it will swim with the currents, godspeed

#noir detective #shitpost #audio shitpost #spam bots #noir spam bot #i made this myself because i like making audio things secretly #the entire monologue was just off the cuff nonsense by my partner and i read it word for word lmao #original audio #though i put the credits for the royalty free song in the metadata comments #it's Once Upon A Road by Bladverk Band #shout out to epidemic sound which i still have an account with until the 24th so pls dont claim this i paid you for it i prommy

[darks-arts]

Was rewatching 3.0+1.0 with a friend and they made the observation of these two resembling a gamer ad and then my hand slipped

#shitpost #asuka langley soryu #mari illustrious makinami #evangelion #neon genesis evangelion #rebuild of evangelion #thrice upon a time #3.0 + 1.0 #wonderswan #wille #lmao i put way to much effort into this #how are these two dating married and divorced all at once

[go-go-gadget-autism]

so y’all may have seen me post these on the discord since i seem to be Resident Shitposter, so

*scatters drawings like throwing breadcrumbs for pidgeons* here eat this while i do some more stuff

#digital art #drawing #artwork #dnd #dnd art #d&d #legends of avantris #ouaw #ouaw spoilers #once upon a witchlight #gideon coal #kremy x gideon #kremy lecroux #gricko grimgrin #twig #twigsy #shitpost

[sauronnaise]

“I locked myself in a cage, once, when I was a child. For an entire day. Ahh, good times.”

—Boromir, probably.

#source: dragon age origins #alistair theirin #tolkien #incorrect tolkien quotes #the lord of the rings #incorrect lotr quotes #boromir #once upon a time in gondor #shitpost #crack

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

#raj shitposting #am i right? #hannibal #john wick #i am legend #legally blonde #hawkeye #turner and hooch #seven psychopaths #once upon a time in hollywood #x men #punisher #will graham #frank castle #cliff booth #scott turner #kate bishop #clint barton #hank mccoy #charlie costello #robert neville #sofia al-azwar #elle woods #memes #my meme

[madame-helen]

#meme #memes #shitpost #shitposting #humor #funny #lol #satire #funny memes #funny meme #funny humor #disney #snow white and the seven dwarfs #remake #snow white & the huntsman #once upon a time #irony #joke

[atlas9248]

Shitposts and WIPs for your troubles :))

#legends of avantris #once upon a witchlight #icebound #shitpost #there was context #but it was lost long ago #lost to the hags prolly

[artoatsblog]

Cursed "edgy" reboot idea #1: A "Once upon a Time" style show but instead of classic fairy tail/Disney characters it's done with DreamWorks characters.

The main character is Shrek (now named Sean) who has been transformed into a human living in a rural town.

He one day gets visited by The boy sitting on the moon in the DreamWorks logo who's basically the god of every single DreamWorks movie who reminds Shrek of his previous life.

The moon boy also reveals he has an evil sun themed rival who wants to take over the DreamWorks universes.

Shrek has to go on a quest to find the other DreamWorks characters from different movies to save his world and there's.

The main cast (aside from Shrek/Sean himself of course) include

-Danny, Sean's cheerful and over exuberant best friend

-Flora, a woman from a rich family who has a budding relationship with Sean

And

-Pila, an adventurous man who is suspicious of Sean's new nature

If the show is made in live action all the characters are played by actors who look vaguely like the conventionally attractive versions of the celebrities who voiced them, but if the show is animated all the characters are stylized the way they were in their og films (with new human designs for the characters who weren't human in the originals) but the with the occasional thirst trap moment for the adult characters.

#Cursed “edgy” reboot ideas #shitpost #once upon a time #shrek #dreamworks #I'm tagging other DreamWorks movies that world probably being included if this was real #or the ones that'll just be funny to include #monsters vs aliens #bee movie #trolls #kung fu panda #shark tale #madagascar #how to train your dragon #the croods #rise of the guardians #megamind #mr peabody and sherman

[itsguysnightitsironic]

Some very out-of-context shitpost's.

We lost the context between the lines, colour and my fingers, which I don't have since the body pillow license accident of 19-O-7, I was in history, but only once. Only once which it's all I will ever get, which o my god, NO! I MUST BE IN HISTORY AGAIN! I REFUSE TO ONLY LIVE IN 19-O-7

#legends of avantris #once upon a witchlight #tw long post #shitpost #morning frost #gricko grimgrin #kremy lecroux #you can barely tell the snapcube references #barely

[explosiv-glasses]

help

#help #shitpost #legends of avantris #once upon a witchlight #icebound #stardust rhapsody #edge of midnight #curse of strahdanya #i think this represents a lot of us #me included

[cinderswife]

"if there were two guys on a moon and one of them killed the other with a rock, wouldn't that be fucked up or what?"

After a decisive victory, Rose asks Snow a question. Nearly two decades later in a similar circumstance, General White asks the same question of Colonel Belle.

(Crossposted to ao3)

“Hey Snow, if there were two guys on a moon and one of them killed the other with a rock, wouldn't that be fucked up or what?”

When Snow had excused herself from a vital meeting to take an unexpected call from Rose, she'd feared the worst. Rose dying, maybe, or an injury she couldn't fully recover from. Not… whatever this was.

Though covered in blood, Rose had set up her camera to show her rooting around in what must've been a foreign kingdom's pantry. In each hand she held a bag of what seemed to be pastries, comparing the two with a critical eye. Just in frame was a bottle of dark red wine. 

“Are you okay?” Snow demanded, flattening her black bear ears in alarm. “That’s an awful amount of blood!”

Rose blinked at her. “Hm? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Most of its not mine, though I think there's still a bullet in my arm. Also Ruthlind is ours. Anyways, back on topic. Two guys, stuck on a moon, rock.”

Snow couldn't decide whether to be relieved that Rose was mostly okay or horrified that she was witnessing the aftermath of another successful conquest. She elected to go with the former for now. “Okay, fine. It'd be fucked up, obviously. He killed the other guy. The other guy is dead. There's no coming back from that.”

“Gods, you're boring. Try again.” Rose pulled out a pastry from the left bag and took an experimental sniff.

Well. Fine, if Rose insisted. “Couldn't they have asked someone to resolve their dispute? Surely there was a Luncount available who could weigh in?”

“Nah, as far as they know, they're the only two guys alive on the moon. And anyways, maybe they didn't have a dispute. Maybe the guy with the rock was bored and wanted to see what would happen. Maybe he had the chance to get revenge on an old enemy except the other guy wasn't his enemy, not really. Maybe he was just really angry at no one in particular and took it out on the other guy. Doesn't really matter.”

At some point during her rant, Rose had decided that the pastry on the right was the way to go and was now demolishing the bag, washing it down with wine straight from the bottle. Because clearly she had no sense of decorum. Animal.

“I suppose that would still be fucked up,” Snow said, steepling her fingers. “Not only did he kill the other guy, he’s all alone now.”

“Exactly, like what was the fucking point of all that. Wow, congrats dude, you can commit violence. Whooo. Now you’re alone on the moon instead of with another guy who can keep you from going off the deep end.” Rose burped and wiped her mouth, which considering her hand was covered in blood splatters did little to fix the situation. “Excuse me. Good wine by the way, I think you’d like this one.”

“I think I’m all right, actually.” Snow was perfectly content to stick with ethically sourced wine, thank you very much.

Rose shrugged. “Too bad. More for me then.” She took another swing then sighed, glaring at the relay comm. “Dammit, General Swan wants my report ‘before I get too drunk.’ Better get going, see you at home.”

“See you at home, Rose.”

___

Nearly two decades later, General Mercymourn White sat atop a lonely rooftop and watched a Marquess’ castle burn. Below her, civilians and soldiers alike danced beneath the evening firelight, celebrating the end of another petty tyrant. For them, victory still felt like glory. For her, not so much.

She sat against the wall, keeping her blind and deaf side out of the way so she could still pay attention to what was going on around her as she argued her way through a bag of jerky. It wasn’t her fault that even well over a decade later half-chewed food still liked to slip through the burned and lipless half of her mouth. It was just really, really annoying. 

Footsteps echoed up the stairwell beside her and she tensed, reaching for her pistol. When the unknown party revealed itself to be the dark and beautiful Colonel Belle she only relaxed a little. Even the Beast’s presence guarding the bottom of the stairs did little to comfort her.

“Mercy,” Belle said, using the shortened first half of General White’s name in that way she did when she pretended like they were close enough to care about the General’s feelings, “are you doing all right? You’re not celebrating with the rest of us.”

“Oh, I’m fine Miriam,” General White responded, keeping up the charade they played at. “Just thinking.”

“What about?” Belle sat across the roof from her, keeping a safe distance between them.

General White wiped the meat crumbs off her jacket and took a long, slow drag on the cigar she’d lit on the castle’s embers. “If there were two guys on a moon and one of them killed the other with a rock, wouldn't that be fucked up or what?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Humor me.”

Belle hummed, tapping her fingers together as she thought. “I don’t think so,” she said after a moment. “The other guy’s most likely a crown soldier and if not still liable to be a traitor, so it’d make sense to eliminate him.”

“Ah, but these men have never heard of the war in their lives. As far as they know, they’re the last two beings on their forsaken rock.” General White set aside the bag of jerky for now, loathe to eat when others could watch her fail at it, and took another long puff. The smoke drifted into the air, joining the smoke from the blaze below.

“I’d still do it,” Belle said, shrugging. “The other guy’s a liability regardless. If he’s dead then I have a decent food source and one less mouth to feed, not to mention it’ll be easier to get myself off if I don’t have to worry about another person.”

“Pragmatic as ever.” The half smile that was her best impression of a real smile crossed General White’s half lips. “And if it were you and me? What then?”

Belle raised an eyebrow at her, curious but not daring to question why. She chose her next words carefully. “I am going to politely decline answering that question for the sake of my wellbeing.”

General White laughed, a rough low sound that blew smoke across the roof and into Belle’s face. Accidentally of course. “And you wonder why I don’t trust you.” Belle began to protest, but General White waved her off. “You’re dismissed, Colonel. Go celebrate with your husband.”

“Yes, sir.” Belle rose to her feet and saluted. “Good night, Mercy.”

“Good night, Miriam.”

#the mechanisms #ouatis #once upon a time in space #rose red ouatis #snow white ouatis #general white ouatis #colonel belle ouatis #this is a shitpost i took seriously. anyways.

[randomnameless]

Better quality

I knew that Napoleon souvenir was going to be handy!

Imperialism's value : 0 euro

#fodlan nonsense #shitposts #once upon a time i could churn out shitposts like these #but it was a long time ago #funny how the hand of justice is in the other hand #it's supposed to be held by the hand holding aymr #does it mean anything? #like Aymr justice or something?