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#on the other female things also start to do that and that honestly scares me a bit
jemandrr · 3 months
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accidentally browsing a (very niche) female-dominated gaming space and seeing people TEAR into people who want an option to change the player character's pronouns to he/him or they/them without changing anything else because it'd invite men to invade a safe space. For a game purely about dating men. Like, I've been through plenty of female-dominated spaces where queer people and similar-interest straight men are welcome (in this case it'd be bi men but yknow), so it's just this one community, but jeez. The amount of fear that anyone who isn't explicitly a femme female would come in and A. hit on the faceless women there or B. taint the game by making the devs add designs of men who they don't want to date?
I got such a strong terf-y rhetoric from that community, like we can't have anything in common with people who aren't like us going on. All about taking 'our' things. And a lot of people contradicting one other but not trying to find out what the truth is because they have the same conclusion. Like two people saying A>B or B>A and no argument arises and no one shows interest in which is true because both people conclude C.
A lot of people even saying that, likewise, things that appeal to female or queer audiences should NOT be added to mainstream media just like queer content should not be added to female-oriented media. These hard walls around what belongs to who is like...they were raised by toy companies or something.
Like what is (paraphrasing so it isnt searchble) "I would never come into a male dominated community because I feel like I would be invading their safe space, so I don't get why men would want to come here and talk about liking men." At least the people who are scared of sexual abuse are warranted, I've seen tons of abusive language towards people they think are women in male dominated online spaces, but what is this fear of even...sharing interests with men? I know we've been in a new era of gender role enforcement with the tradfem movement, but jeez. And as for these last two points, they both are ones that were contradicted. People also said they do believe in diversity BUT just *this* shouldn't count.
Some people even said it's not fair that they get pushed to be more inclusive when mainstream media never does. Which makes me wonder if they're so deep in their niche 'I only experience content made by and for exclusively straight women' content that they haven't noticed any of the movements in media going on over the last 1.5 decades. Like it's true that we haven't made that much progress, but how do they think that no media gets pressed to increase diversity? The more rigid/right-leaning male audiences of tons of media have been complaining about forced diversity for years in exactly the same way (and sometimes, when it really WAS forced diversity, everyone complains because it's not representing anyone really but yknow). But I guess they wouldn't know that if all of them avoid mainstream media?
Also...what is the fear that gay men like men in a 'wrong' way...(and again, the unargued contradiction being plenty of people saying that they also like media about gay characters, but just they shouldn't make these characters gay)
And like I do get it, in the sense that being marginalized makes you skeptical and fearful of things you don't understand in its own separate way from how being in a privileged class makes you skeptical and fearful of things you don't understand. There's a lot more fear of exploring things different and new because the possible retribution feels/has been higher.
Honestly, this post isn't actually about a couple hundred to low-thousand women in a small community for niche games. Not like, I think it's important, I want to actively make them change. It's not that big a deal, not that surprising in the grand scheme. It's similar rhetoric to things i've seen before (Tradfem/terf). I've seen screenshots of, like, facebook mom groups before. And I've seen way bigger communities be way more open and welcoming, it's just a little outlier.
I'm just writing this because I'm a bit shellshocked because I forget how much that those kinds of people are not just the older, tech-illiterate generations, and not just shallow influencers who will say anything for the clicks (or because someone behind the scenes is funding it), their views behind the camera up in the air. Like I think I cultivate the people I interact with a bit too well. Too many of the people I actually interact with or witness the thoughts of regularly are queer and have flitting relationships with gender and then I remember the other side of the coin has people who think they're being progressive by suggesting that everyone who is different be segregated and therefore safe from each other with no room for intersectionality.
#for the record in other communities talking about the same game i saw several people sharing tips for making androgynous or slightly butch#characters which is the wholesomeness on the other side#ranting into the void#is this one of those situations of like#'the celebrity you call ugly will never see this but the person you know who shares those features will?'#but with 'The men who want to invade your safe spaces will never see this but the he/him butch and other queer people who are otherwise#generally your advocates in political and social spaces will'#also ngl being gay admittedly does make this so much easier#but i cannot imagine having the idea that#categorically#'you and your partner cannot have any interests in common' but so many do#And honestly I would have trouble believing that any women who says they're scared ofplaying or discussing a videogame#with a gnc or gay person- would say that irl they're not a terf and they would let gnc and trans people into the same public bathroom#like i can believe it because people hold lots of contradictory ideas but#if more than 20% of them said it i would think that was legitimately virtue signalling#because while i think trans panic is waaaaay less common than the media thinks#inside a community with those beliefs when they can talk anonymo usly#itd be a tough sell for me. I have to imagine most of those women are the kind who would find out their partner was bi#and start feeling uncomfortable about the state of their relationship- with the way they talk about how men can't enjoy female things like#dating men and such#ALSO there are more women than men#wtf do you mean mainstream media is only for straight men#straight adult men is#like 30-odd percent of the us tops#they got more purchasing power cus of sexism and homophobia and so on but#its so self defeating to think of mainstream media as exclusively the purview of straight men
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strniohoeee · 6 months
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Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader
Synopsis: Y/N is a virgin who so badly wants to have sex with Matt, but she’s scared. However when they’re alone in the triplets house things take a turn….this is for the two requests I got for a virgin reader having soft sex with Matt🥹
Warnings⚠️: This is soft cute sex. Virginity lose, and that’s about it 🫶🏽
Song for the imagine: J’s Lullaby(darlin I’d wait for you) Delaney Bailey
⚠️This is an 18+ story, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️
Matt and I had been dating for roughly 7 months at this point. These past 7 months have been the best months of my life. I was surrounded by 3 people I loved, and making memories that would last forever
About five months into the relationship is when Matt and I finally decided to tell their fan base. Since I was always in their videos, some fans started to notice some vibes between the both of us.
Honestly I was petrified to tell them because a lot of their fans were super protective over them, and I’m a sensitive girl. I didn’t want to get any hate. Surprisingly we received way more love, and the occasional hate from some 14 year old, but nothing to make me feel any type of way.
Constantly Matt and I would watch shipping edits of us, some that even showed how we acted like a couple months before we even started dating. We loved it so much
Other times I would watch edits on my own of us, or just of Matt, and the comments had my jaw on the floor.
“I know he gives y/n the pounding of her life”
“He’s a skinny white boy. You know he be laying that pipeeeee”
“Poor y/n…..I know he be tearing her shit up”
Although these comments made me laugh, they also made me blush from embarrassment because they couldn’t have been further from the truth. I was a virgin, and Matt and I had only really made out and got handsy. Usually I’d break away and stop it, and he respected it and never said anything about it.
I knew he wanted to have sex because he’s a 20 year old man, and I for sure wanted to have sex because?? We’ll have you seen Matt??
But in the back of my mind I was so fucking nervous. I had never ever had sex. I’ve never given a handjob, a blow job, a hickey…..I’ve never even seen Matt’s dick.
Many times I would crave this intimacy, but I always allowed my fear to get to the best of me. However I was more than ready to have sex with the love of my life, Matt.
Matt and I were alone at their house since Chris and Nick had an event that Matt really could care less for. We spent the whole day together, and now we were currently in his room watching a movie
The whole time I kept thinking about having sex with Matt, and what it would be like. If I’d be bad, nervous or just out right not cut out for losing my virginity.
“Matt…” I said waiting for him to look over at me
“Yeah?” He said looking over and smiling at me
“Can I ask you something?” I said
“Of course baby” he responded back as he paused the movie
“Do you want to have sex with me?” I asked him, and to this his eyebrows raised
“In general or right now?” He asked laughing a little bit
“In general” I told him
“I mean it’s not something that’s necessarily crossed my mind. Of course I get urges, and want to have sex, but it’s not something my mind is always on.” He responded
“Well how come?” I asked him
“I mean I just care about you, and making you laugh and smile, and spending time with you. I just love to be in your company” he said back
“Oh….well have you ever thought of having sex with me…like at all??” I asked him
“I mean sure. Whenever we’ve had heated make out sessions it has crossed my mind. You know? It’s like I think to myself could this go further” he told me
“Oh…” I responded
“Have you thought of having sex with me?” He asked
“Mmm quite often actually” I said being completely honest
“Oh?” He said starting to blush
“But I know I always pull away before it goes any further” I told him
“Yeah, but I don’t mind at all” he said smiling at me for reassurance
“I guess I’m just scared” I said
“Scared of what?” He asked me with a head tilt
“Well I’m a virgin” I told him
“Oh” he said actually shocked
“Yeah, and I just never felt like I could move forward. Not because of you! I know I want to lose my virginity to you, but because I’m so afraid of being bad, or too nervous that it doesn’t work out” I said to him
“I get that. Losing your virginity is very intimate, and for sure scary. That’s valid” he said to me
“I was thinking maybe we could have sex” I told him
“Yeah of course” he said nodding his head and smiling
“Tonight” I then responded
“Tonight?” He said surprised
“Yes. I think I’m ready for tonight” I told him
“Okay. Then tonight it is” he said leaning over and kissing me
Matt and I had been making out for a good five minutes
“Are you doing okay?” He asked looking into my eyes
“Yes Matt I’m doing great” I said giving him a smile
Matt had kissed down to my neck. Leaving light kisses that were making me burn up inside. He had removed his shirt, and I removed mine as well
“Can I take your bra off?” He asked me leaning back a little bit
“Of course” I said shyly
Matt reaches behind as I lift up, so that he could unclip my bra. Slowly pulling it off of me, and allowing my breast to fall exposed
I started to blush. Never allowing a man to see me this way causing me to get a little shy
“Don’t get shy on me baby. You look perfect” he said giving me a sly smile
Matt had started to kiss my neck, and slowly went down to my breast. Massaging both breast before taking one into his mouth
“Oh Matt” I said in a whisper as my eyes fluttered shut
He then went down to the valley of my breast, and started to kiss down leaving sloppy kisses on my stomach. I was aching for his touch.
He kissed both hip bones before looking up at me
“Can I take your pants off?” He asked, and I nodded
He started to take my pants off as I lifted up a little for him to get them fully off. Matt in return removed his sweat pants as well
He went back to kissing above my underwear. This feeling alone left my hair rising and my thigh quivering
Matt laid next to me, and started to kiss me soon breaking away
“Okay baby. I have to stretch you out” he said. I turned my head towards him and agreed
Slowly he trailed his hand down to my underwear. Slightly dipping his hand in to massage my pelvic area before completely sticking his hand down my underwear
“Open wider baby” he told me, and I allowed my legs to open up more for him
“Perfect” he said, kissing me, and then he slid his hand all the way down coating his fingers in my arousal before bringing them back up to massage my clit
I just gasped and opened my mouth as Matt and I kept looking at each other
“Feeling okay?” He asked
“I feel so good Matt” I told him licking my now dry lips
Math started to rub my clit in circular motions. Allowing me to squirm and moan at this foreign feeling.
“Okay baby this may hurt” he said before sinking his middle finger to my entrance. He was looking into my eyes as he slowly started to insert his finger into me
This was a burning stretch I’ve never felt before, causing my eyes to shut and my brows to furrow
“Ow Matt” I said finally opening my eyes
“Too much? I can stop” he said reading my face
“No no keep going” I told him, and so he did. He slowly started to rock his fingers in and out curving them up to hit my G spot
“Oh fuck” I moaned out
“That feels so fucking good” I said as he started to rub my clit with his thumb
Slowly he inserted his ring finger. This burn was something that almost made me stop him, but I wanted this way too much for him to stop now.
Once he got the second finger in he started to pump in and out at a come here motion
“Oh Matt….ive never felt something like this” I told him as my mouth fell open
“Does it feel good?” He asked
“So so good” I said whispering the last part
He was slowly fingering me for 5 more minutes before he decided to stop
“Do you think you’re ready?” He asked me
“I think so” I told him, Matt removed his underwear and my mouth fell open
“Matt….I don’t know that that will fit in me” I said almost laughing
“Baby don’t boost my ego. It will fit” he said blushing and biting his lip
“This will hurt, so I’m going to go slow, and if it’s too much I’ll stop” he said
“Okay thank you” I whispered to him
Matt had both arms on either side of my head and was looking into my eyes
“Ready?” He asked one more time
“Yes Matt I’m very ready” I told him
Matt grabbed his dick with his right hand and slowly started to push the tip in. Looking up at you to read your face. He slowly started to push the tip in, and as he started to get in is when you winced
“Fuck Matt that hurts” I said gripping his left arm with my right hand
“Want me to stop?” He asked
“No no keep going” I told him
He slowly started to insert himself into me. Paying close attention to my face. Soon he was all the way in, and he let out a sigh
“So perfect,” he said, moving my hair out of my face. Matt was allowing my vaginal walls to relax around him before moving
“You can move” I told him, and so he did. Slowly sliding back and then in. My pussy was still stretching and burning around his dick
He was letting out little moans that were making me so wet.
Slowly Matt started to pick up his pace. Sliding in and out of me in such a delicious way
“Fuck Matt you can go a little faster” I told him
Matt started to thrust into me a little faster and I was completely losing my mind. If sex felt this good, why was I waiting this long?
“Matt this feels so good” I said moaning
“You feel so fucking good around me” he said moaning the last part
Matt had gotten a little more on his knees, and allowed his arms to bend. Coming down closer to me our chests were touching, and his head was right next to my ear
I could hear his pants into my ear as he was thrusting into me
“Fuck Matt you sound hot” I told him pulling his hair at the back of his head
“Yeah?” He said in a breathy tone
“Yes…so so hot” I said as I continued to pull at his hair
Matt continued to thrust into me becoming a sweaty and groaning mess above me
“I’m going to start rubbing your clit, and you’ll be able to cum in no time” he told me before snaking his right hand down to my clit starting to rub
“OH MY GOD” I screamed out at the intense sensation I was feeling
“Too much?” He asked looking at me
“No no just right keep going. Fuck Matt I think I’m going to cum” I told him as I started to clench on his cock causing him to moan
Matt was fucking into me at a good pace and rubbing my clit, going in between slow and fast circular motions
“Matt Matt Matt” I said scratching his back and clenching down on him harder
“Come on baby! You can do it for me” he said rubbing his fingers faster
“I’m going to cum. Fuck fuck fuck” I said shutting my eyes and throwing my head back even more
“Come on. Come on give it to me” he said into my ear
“FUCKKKKK MATTT” I screamed out as I started to convulse and tremble. My orgasm completely washing over me. I was seeing white and my legs were shaking as I was cumming so hard. Slowly I started to come down my from my high with heavy breathing and dry lips
Matt pulled out of me when I stopped twitching around him. I felt weird without his dick in me. He started to pump his cock
“Fuck I’m gonna cum” he said kissing my lips
He pulled away and his lower abdomen started to contract as his mouth fell and his brows furrowed. He looked into my eyes as he came all over his hand and my lower stomach. Slowly coming down from his high and rolling onto his back next to me
“Matt that was amazing” I said looking over at him
“Was it? You don’t have to lie” he said catching his breath
“No matt. It was amazing, and you were so careful with me I appreciate it” I said rolling over to my side and kissing him on the cheek
“Anything for my pretty lady. I love you” he said looking over at me
“I love you too Matt” I said smiling at him
“Let’s get you cleaned up. Follow me let’s shower” he said and grabbed my hands
When I got off the bed my legs completely gave out on me and I almost fell to the ground
“Oh my god Matt…my legs are fucking jello” I said laughing as he grabbed me and helped me walk to his bathroom
“I’m sorry baby” he said also laughing
“I can now say Matt Sturniolo has made me weak in the knees physically” I responded laughing
“Shut up” he said all shyly as he turned on the hot water and let me step in first
We had showered together, and then spent the night watching movies until we eventually fell asleep in each other's arms.
The End
I hope you guys enjoyed this one! And for the two people that requested this I hope I didn’t disappoint, and I’m so sorry it took forever for me to get this out 🥹❤️❤️
-J💅🏽
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jadeddangel · 1 month
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hi there, could I get alastor, adam and lucifer with a reader that has pica (if you don't know what that is it is where a person can tend to eat or bite on things not edible, like paper, erasers, eca)
Yup!! I have an oral fixation so this sounds pretty similar
Reader w/ Pica! Or an oral fixation Headcannons
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Alastor🦌:
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Oh boy
When he died that wasn't much awareness about things like this
So honestly at first we was disgusted seeing you chew on something that wasn't meant to be chewed on
Alastor probably ignored it at first but got annoyed after it just kept happening
He finally asked you after a bit
Honestly he didn't understand at first but tried his best
He probably just watches to make sure you don't swallow anything dumb (like an eraser)
He literally doesn't try to help you stop the behavior or give you something to help
Let's be honest alastor probably still finds it annoying but he also finds it amusing
I mean who the fuck do you know that can eat the metal part off of a pencil and be fine? Yea that's right no one
He probably hands you things to see if you'll chew on them
"Doll your chewing on the pencil here let me get you a new one" alastor said calmly making you realize you had gnawed on it till you saw the led
Alastor took the old one and placed the fish pencil in your hand "there all fixed" alastor mused patting your head before lounging back into his seat
And he shows this behavior with all different objects it doesn't really matter what kind
At first you probably thinks it's cause he cares about you and wants you to get stuff done that he gives you new stuff
After long enough, however, you put the pieces together
You never called him out though, scared of possible repercussions
He knows you know, but he's definitely satisfied with the fact you fear him so much
Adam😇:
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Oh, you're female? He's mocking you
Oh, you're male? He's mocking you
Non-binary? You don't even exist to him
He's the kind of person that will just hand you things to see if you'll chew on it
The kind of guy that buys you edible play dough just to make sure your not making yourself sick
He buys pencils in bulk so if your sitting next to him and you start chewing on your pencil he has spares
If your his lover he jokingly teases that you can chew on his dick
He starts picking up on your chewing habits
He notices that when you get stressed it gets worse
Probably bought you a teething ring as a joke but gets really surprised if you actually use it
"Hey there's my pretty little piece of ass!- wait no put the fucking play dough down" Adam scolded walking closer and taking the container of play dough from you before reaching into his massive pocket and pulling out a container of homade edible playdough and putting it in your hand "no." Adam said again
And that's he showed that he cared about you.
Won't really yell at you if you keep chewing on things that could Hurt you but will definitely raise his voice
He once even gave you his hand to fiddle with and chew on his fingers so you didn't hurt yourself by chewing on other things
He treats you like a baby who wants to eat everything
Lucifer🐤:
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Makes things for you to chew on
Asks what your favorite animal is and makes things themed that you can chew on
He probably chews on things when he gets focused so you guys kinda keep eachother in check
Hes so sweet about it too
Like say you were chewing on an eraser you were holding onto
He would just grab your wrist so softly like you were fragile glass and pull her hand away from your mouth
"Little apple remember we shouldn't chew on things that aren't healthy or aren't going to hurt our bodies" Lucifer spoke softly so no one would overhear you two talking. Lucifer pulled your wrist towards him and prying the eraser from you carefully before placing a small pencil he made with your favorite animal on the top. The animal was a tough durable material so you could chew and it wouldn't cause any harm to it. Or to you for that matter.
He's so sweet about it, having raised Charlie and having to deal with her teething faze, and her crying if he even scolded her a little too mean.
If you don't listen the first time he asks you to stop chewing on something that may be detrimental to your health he tries his best to stay patient
He has excellent patience as long as your not hurting anyone important to him but then again you're important to him (that's why he tries so hard to stop you)
He's always watching over you and making sure you aren't getting hurt so if you chew on anything that may really hurt you he may actually scold you
He doesn't yell either he's just extremely firm in his way of speech and anything he says
If he hurts your feelings, he's immediately apologizing and trying to hug you
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winterarmyy · 9 months
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Promise Me | Part I
When he was sent out for war, Bucky made a promise to his lover that might just last through several lifetimes.
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Summary: Y/N kept being reincarnated into the world for seemingly endless of lifetimes with the lasting, vivid memories of her past lover during the 40's, Sargent James B. Barnes. While she thought this was a 'punishment' for her sins, she was also unknowingly oblivious to the fact that James was still alive somewhere, almost forever frozen in the time.
Navigation: Part I | Part II | Part III (end)
Words: 6.5k++ (hella long bc lots to cover in the story building part)
Pairing: 40s!bucky / eventually tfatws!bucky x female!reader
Warnings: just slow induced angst for your daily consumption (i guess?) It has a hopeful ending so don't let the first warning chase you away. reincarnation concept. an attempt to follow exact mcu timeline (forgive if i'm wrong at certain parts). slight religious contents. grief & loss. graphic violence. deaths. mention of suicide. a lot of reader's pov, story building > dialogs (sorry guys).
P/S: Another impulsive writing from me y'all. I hope you don't get bored of this tendency of mine lol. I just need to let the fantasies out before it consumes me. So... anyway, it's gonna be another 3 parts fic cause for the love of god, I cannot commit for more :') Also, my first attempt of writing 40's bucky!!! I'm honestly scared. I hope you like it!
Read my other works here: Masterlist
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Italy, 1943 – His return
If it was one thing that Bucky should expect when he decided to be in a relationship with Y/N was that he had to accept her for who she was; stubborn, clumsy, bold, clever, sweet and most certainly the prettiest dame he ever met.
He might have unknowingly signed up for it the moment he quite literally fell for her at one of those Stark's science expo. Bucky had been stealing glances at this one pretty lady in the crowd, adored in soft mint dress that falls right below her knees.
It wasn't even a scandalous dress to wear in public but somehow Bucky was more than ecstatic to marvel at her beauty. There was no such thing as a too long of a stare, especially when she laughed like that; throwing her head in amusement, the loose strands of her curls fall back across her shoulders as they slightly shook to the rhythm of her laughter.
A careless misstep, that Bucky could see from a mile away, had caused her to stagger backwards and twisted her ankle into an inevitable fall. Somehow, Bucky managed to slither his way through the crowd towards her, almost jumping forward to catch her before she landed on the ground.
Not only that he was the one who fell first, but he also fell hard.
So, it was expected that Bucky knew what he had got himself into. At least, that was what Y/N had been repeating in her head to convince herself for what she had done. Now that she was sitting at the back of the wobbly military truck, the fear had slowly started to seep into her, causing shivers to crawl all over her nerves.
Y/N just knew it in her guts that Bucky would be absolutely furious when he sees her but what does he expect her to do when she hadn't receive any letters from him for months now. So, when she heard that they needed more medical helpers at the Italy base, she signed up without thinking twice about it.
"There has been a recent attack on the 107th. Too many casualties and much more whose heavily injured. You might have your hands full the moment you arrive to the base. There are few rules..." The lieutenant's voice was rigid just as his demenour when he continued to inform the situation to the troops of medical staff.
No matter how much she wanted to pay attention to his words, Y/N couldn't help but to tune in only at his first few sentences. Casualties, heavily injured. Her hands moved to search for the cross pendent hanging from the necklace around her collarbone, gripping it tight as she prayed that her lover was not categorized under any of those dire circumstances.
What the lieutenant said in that truck could never be more true as the moment they stepped into the medic tent, Y/N and the others were quickly pulled to assist the fallen men. It was truly heartbreaking and horrid to witness the dreading truth behind what the public posed as the "heros of the country'.
Surely they were proud to fight for the nation but then again no human being should ever had to suffer the consequences of war; not the civilians and certainly not the soldiers.
After seemingly hours of continuous stitching, wrapping and patching up; surrounded sound of groaning pain and the endless cycle of inhaling the distinct scent of fresh blood, burned flesh and the bitter of anticeptic odor; the injured soldiers were finally taken care of and had been put to rest.
Y/N looked around the tent, noting the unorganized mess around the patients; the result of the panic and chaos of the whole situation. A thought came to her mind, she might need to do some cleaning up before writing down medical record for each one of the patients.
That was when the lieutenant entered into the tent, and his stern gaze swiftly analyzed the much calmer scene, "Thank you for your service, everybody. I assume the soldiers are stabilized?"
"Yes, sir." One of the battalion doctor replied as he approached, while the rest of the team watched from where they stood.
The lieutenant simply nodded, "Good." He paused for awhile and looked around,  "Now, have any of you met Captain America before?"
There were bunch of no's murmured around the medical staff, some of them just shook their head as an answer and the lieutenant nodded again as he informed, "Well, I guess you are all just darn lucky cause he's here to perform. You are invited to come and join the others to watch, if you want to."
"Steve's here?" She thought to herself.
As the lieutenant continued to explain some things about accommodation, food and medical supplies, Y/N's head were filled with thought that her dear friend, Steve was there too.
"I wonder if he gotten any words from James."
"Maybe he got letters from him?"
"Or could it be that he was here to find James too?
There were so many questions kept circulating in her head that by the time she snapped out of them, the lieutenant was already long gone and some of the medic staff went out to untangle themselves from the hours of stressful tension.
As a nurse herself, she felt the need to take care of her patients and finish her job before anything else. So, she started to clean up the shredded clothes, bloodied guazes and the other medical tools that needed to be sterilized and put away.
By the time she finished, it finally dawned to her that there was no trace of Bucky in the medic tent. Which means he didn't fall into the heavily injured category. So, there was two left; the one she prayed for and the other that dreaded her to even think about.
Y/N quickly made her way towards the tent where she can find the soldier in charge. However, if she was focused during one of the lieutenant's speech in the truck, she would've heard that she and the others were not authorized to enter certain parts of the base, which include the higher ups' tents.
When she was turned down by the soldiers, she sadly walked away towards the main area where Steve was supposed to perform. The drag of her feet across the dusty sand was heavy but no more heavier than the burden in her heart.
She watched as her black pump shoes gradually covered with light sand. Finding it odd that a few weeks ago she was standing on the shiny tile of a hospital in Brooklyn and now she was halfway across the world in the middle of the chaos of a war.
The things she'd do for love.
Soon enough, the dry ground was wet from the sudden down pour, turning it into a murky soggy path. Y/N quickly ran towards the main area where apparently the show was long over. "Did I missed Steve?" She thought as she stepped into the tent where the performers supposed to be.
The tent turned out to be empty and only the sound of drizzling raindrops above it was left behind. She looked around the area and saw the costumes for the performers were still there; the pleated white and red skirt hanging on the rack, white gloves clipped with them, the captain's shield with notes sticking at the back of it and the iconic blue helmet-mask thingy plastered with the obvious letter.
She peeked a little to the right only to see Steve hunched down on the floor, curling into himself just as he always did back when he was left beaten up in the alleyway somewhere in Brooklyn. She guessed that the upgrade of his size doesn't really change his habits.
Y/N walked closer to see him holding his sketchbook on one hand and another was a pencil pressing across the paper, lining the drawing of a monkey on a unicycle. "I guess the serum does not amplify your art skills huh Steve?" she teased as she approached the blonde man.
Steve lifted up his head as he turned towards the familiar voice, "y/n?" His face lit up as he recognized her face. He stood on his feet and pulled her into a tight hug, "It's so good to see you." He sighed, he haven't seen her since his departure when she insisted for him to stay.
But alas, Steve was also as stubborn as her.
It took awhile for him to process it but when it came to him, he gently pushed her away, "Wait.. what are you doing here?" His brows creased into a worried frown.
Y/N simply smiled as she responded, "They needed help, so I volueentered."
Steve shook his head in disbelief, "Bucky made me promise not to let you do stuff like this." In which Y/N countered, "And he also remind you not to do anything stupid until he get back so..." she purposely trailed her words for him to draw the conclusion on his own.
He let out a long sighed before concluding, "Bucky's gonna kill us."
Since, Bucky was in the topic, Y/N took the oppurtunity to asked Steve about him, "About that, have you heard--"
A woman's voice came from her back, cutting in between her words, "Steve?"
Steve nervously untangled himself from Y/N as he shyly greeted the woman, "Hi."
The woman continued to stare at Y/N trying to figure out her role and relationship with Steve but before she could get any strange idea, he quickly introduced her, "This is y/n. She's my good friend from home."
A spark of realization glint through her eyes "I see. I'm Peggy. Nice to meet you." She extended her hand towards Y/N, in which Y/N gladly shook it in hers as she reintroduced herself, "You too. I'm y/n."
After the brief exchange of smile between the two ladies, Steve continued to asked Peggy, "What are you doing here?"
Peggy sighed as she explained, "Officially, I'm not here at all." She paused as she picked her words, "I just came by to oversee the situation after the recent attack."
Although Y/N knew what Peggy meant, she was one of the medic staff that had been stitching up the aftermath of that attack after all. However, Steve on the other hand seemed to be lost.
Peggy further explained, "Schmidt sent out a force to Azzano, more than 200 men went up against him and less than 50 returned." She paused, "Your audience contained what's left of the 107th."
Steve's blues widen in realization that almost looked much like panic, "The 107th?"
"What?" Peggy prompt quickly.
Steve then turned his head to Y/N, "Bucky?" He questioned shortly.
But even she was hoping that he'll know something about Bucky, apparently she was wrong, "I tried to ask but I'm not authorized to enter the tent. I was hoping you heard from him."
Seeing the panic in Steve's eyes, she knew that her lover was no where near the safety that she prayed for. But before fear could set in, Steve sprinted out of the tent, "Come on!" he shouted as Y/N and Peggy ran closely behind him.
When they arrived to the tent, fortunately they had the permission to enter with the help of Peggy. "Well, if it isn't the Star-Spangled Man With A Plan. What is your plan today?" Colonel Philips greeted in a teasing manner.
Steve didn't even bother to greet the colonel as he demanded, "I need the casualty list from Azzano." In which the Philips responded, "You don't get to give me orders, son."
Knowing that arguments won't help the situation, he control his tone of voice and spoke, "I just need one name, Sergeant James Barnes from the 107th." He took a short breath and insisted, "Please tell me if he's alive, sir. B-A-R-"
Colonel Phillips stood on his feet as he walked towards a table behind him, "I can spell. I have signed more of these condolence letters today than I would care to count." He paused before turning around to eye on Steve and briefly on the very worried looking nurse next to him.
"But the name does sound familiar. I'm sorry." There was a flash of sincerity in his eyes when he looked towards Y/N.
The optimistic Steve continued to insist more about other possibilities than casualties, "What about the others? Are you planning a rescue mission?" They went back and forth about the what is the 'right' thing to do, "Yes, it's called 'winning the war'. "
And suddenly sound of the heavy rain fall was all Y/N could hear, then comes the booming of her heartbeat as the panic started to deprive her of any optimism, clouding her judgment to think of anything near to positive outcomes such as Steve.
It was getting harder to breath and the anxitey slowly choked her, forcing tears to pool in her eyes. Peggy swiftly took a hold on Y/N, before her knees managed to fall to the ground. The muffled sound of Peggy's voice managed to come through but not enough to wake her from the despair.
Before she knew it, Steve was already gone for an unauthorized rescue mission with the help from Peggy. And ever since, Y/N had spend every waking moment digging her knees into the uneven ground. Her elbows bruised from how hard she propped them on the steel edge of the army green cot. Her palms almost dented to shape of the silver cross as she desperately squeeze it between her hold.
She prayed and prayed for his return. For both of her dearest to be safe, to find their way home.
And for a moment Y/N thought her prayers were graciously granted by God, as the crowd was getter louder and the circle of soldiers were geting thicker when the survivors joined the rest of them. There were chantings of "Captain America" that echoed throughout the base and that gave her relief to know that Steve was safe.
But it was not enough to tame her anxiousness. Y/N's focus has never been sharper when her eyes scanned the crowd, she slithered her way between the jumping joy of the soldiers, grabbing onto some men who she mistook as Bucky until she saw him.
Her heartbeat ramped increasingly as she pushed through the soldiers, finding strength from the blood pumping excitement when she recognize those steel blues and that cheeky smile. Not long before she managed to grab onto his hand and pulled his attention to her.
It was brief but he knew that face anywhere; and suddenly his whole body was engulf into a familiar tight hug that he thought he could never be able to feel again. "James." her voice still stuttered even if it was just one word that came out of her lips.
"y/n?" Bucky called her name, almost in disbelief.
God, she never knew that she was able to miss his voice this much.
"Doll, what you doing here?" He gently lead her away, which she reluctantly followed, "I'm here for you." There was no need of lies now that Bucky was here in her arms.
His gaze soften with a mix of concern and joy, "What do you mean you're here for me?" Bucky couldn't help but to let out a short laugh, "Sweetheart, you do realized that you're in the middle of a war?" His brows quirked as he reminded.
Y/N rolled her eyes. Of course, she realized that. The moment she saw that form for enlistment, she knew. But, it didn't stop her to sign up, does it?
She laced her fingers into his, "I didn't come all the way here to fight with you, James." she whispered as she leaned closer, "So, please just shut up and kiss me."
Bucky might have just realized it now; what a stubborn, demanding, crazy little lover got himself. Though at the same time, she had never charmed him more.
Bucky sighed in defeat before running his tongue on his lower lip, "Well then, come here you little minx" he took her by the head and gave her the most desperate yet sweetest kiss she could never forget.
Brooklyn, 1944 – Promises, promises
It was the day that Steve, Bucky and the rest of the Howling Commandos were depolying to the Austrian Alps for one of the biggest mission since Captain's impulsive rescue mission in Italy last year.
Apparently, Zola was on the move and predicted to be passing though the location while travelling on a train.
This wasn't the first time she had sent Bucky away, but the fear of each always felt like it was her first; especially when she thought about the promise of death that's chained to a soldier's fate.
The closer the time of departure, the stronger her grip on Bucky's uniform becomes. And Bucky didn't need to say anything because he knows her too well; she won't take any of his sweet words as a cure for her distress.
Bucky slowly swayed her from side to side as their embrace tightens with need; her face hidden in the crook of his neck while his arms secured around her waist. He had to smile as it reminded him of their late night dance, barefoot on the kitchen floor of his apartment.
He could feel the teasing gaze coming from his back as well as the whistles of the Howling Commandos playfully making fun of him. Bucky was also well aware of the fact that everyone had made theirs bets on when will the Sargent James B. Barnes finally get down on his knees for his little nightingale of a nurse.
Unsurprisingly, Steve might just win the bet afterall. That punk just had know everything about him.
Y/N closer snuggled into him one last time, "Come home to me, James." She whispered against his skin before pulling away. Teary eyes threatened to spill its salty liquid as she looked up at him, "Promise me."
Bucky's charming smile lighten his features as he leaned to press a kiss in her forehead, "I promise."
Brooklyn, 1945 – Loved and lost
Months gone by, entered the new year, and it always felt like eternity for Y/N. She spent nights kneeling next to her bed and days on the church's floor; practically begging to God for the life of her lover, for keeping him away from death.
And the letters from Bucky also come and goes within those few months' time, with his promises of coming home that's laced in the words of his longing and love for her.
But, little did she knew, that promise met it's end of the bargain when the dreaded letter came to her hands. It came from the man she met back in Italy base, Colonel Phillips, sending the words of condolences for the death Sargent James B. Barnes during his honourable mission at the Austrian Alps.
But the first time she read to words, it didn't even register in her head. It was as if her brain failed to translate the message for her to understand. Y/N had been re-reading the same lines over and over and over until it finally clicked.
The usually bright eyes of hers were now slowly filled with tears, she was in the state of shock; that even if her brain knew exactly what had happened but her heart wasn't ready for it. 
The tears started to fall down onto the letter. Drip by drip. And all of the sudden she lost every word that she could ever think of. Her silent scream; suffocating her with each breath she took desperately gripping onto the fragile piece of paper, holding it to her chest hold as if that would help to ease the pain in her heart.
Y/N could feel it in her ripping guts. How all the threads of every joyful memories she could ever once recall; they  unraveled in a way that broke her to pieces until they were all but a rumpled of strings scattered about her feet.
A sharp fall had forced Y/N down to her knees, skin digging into the hard floor as her hands trembled silently, clutching onto the letter.
At first when she opened her mouth, there was not a single sound came out as her breath ripped from her lungs. Each left her with scars of loss and every waking minute in this reality was just pure pain.
Her body bend forward until her forehead meets the floor, that was when she wailed; an agonizing scream that left a haunting memory to the neighbours around her apartment.
She cried like there was too much raw pain inside that she could never contained. She cried like her soul needed to break loose from her skin, desperate to release a loathful rage on the world. 
But it was more than just crying, it was the sobbing of a woman that drained of all hope. She sank on floor, willing herself to be swallowed by the dread and loss. Just screaming out the agonies that been dancing across her vulnerable veins. 
Her chest violently quivered as she was desperately trying to catch the air. She collected every last energy that she had to call out the name of the lover she had loss, "James.." Her gasping breath whispered against the floor, "You promised." 
A month later the nation celebrate to the announcement to the end of a war, but to Y/N it was just another wave of mourning grief to a loss of another precious person in her life; Steve.
Amidst the loud sound of cheering and laughter, she rushed away from the crowd to the place that she had put all her faith into. Stumbling through the empty church and falling at the feet of Jesus' statue, Y/N looked up at the face if God with loath, rage, despair, and tears.
The night was brighten to the flashing light from the firework but all she could think of was how similar the sound of it to a firing canon in the war. And the thought of Bucky and Steve run through her mind.
She had been nothing but faithful to the lord, religiously prayed for no more than saving the life of people she held dear to her heart.
But, God thought it would be merciful to let them die.
Y/N harshly ripped the cross necklace from her neck, tearing her skin apart in the process. She gripped on the cross in her hands, much like she would few month back but for completely different reason.
The crimson of her blood tainted her white collar of her nurse uniform as she she cursed the all mighty God for what he had done. Ever since, she swore to herself to never be naive to the illusion of God's mercy ever again.
Washington D.C., 2014 – An old friend
Fate is full with irony and God has his way of twisting them for his own pleasure.
When Y/N died in the 60's, old and unmarried, even if she doesn't believe in God anymore, her dying wish was to be able to meet her lover and friend again.
At least one more time.
But lo and be hold, God had different plans for her. Y/N's body did die that night on the hospital bed but her soul never did. It was as if she was woken up from sleep in another body with the same face as her, that's when she realized she has been reincarnated.
Apparently, she was only born in the same family lineage as her original life; whether coming from her younger brother or cousin or anyone related back to her bloodline. And sharing even the tiniest amount of blood of her own, triggers every single memory from her previous life.
This wasn't what she wanted.
She didn't want to live knowing she cannot be with Bucky.
So on the 2nd life, she did the unthinkable. She took her own life, thinking that she would finally leave the world behind but she didn't.
It happened again.
And again.
And again.
So, when she reached her 6th life, she realized that she will never able to meet James and Steve ever again; that was when she went rogue.
Her 6th life was filled with rage and vengeance that she took the idea of life very lightly. So, instead of living until the old days, she searched for revenge and got herself tragically killed in the process.
Now, the 18 year old Y/N was in her 7th life, with a new name that was given by her 7th parents, "Evelyn" , and the spitting image of her 1st life. From her dark raven hair to the light brown of her eyes. This time, she decided to try to accept the cruel fate; the cursed that God had placed on her for the sin that she made decades ago.
Y/N walked around the Smithsomian Museum, specifically at the American history section where they put up Captain America's exhibit. It's been how many lifetimes since she surround herself with knowledge of a past that she once lived.
This was the first time, since her first life. And most probably the last time since she was going overseas in a week to continue her studies in Asia.
She walked along the line up display of the Howling Commandos suits, remembering the living flesh of them as she took steps forward to each, stopping in front of Bucky's.
Flashes of him appeared to where the figure stood; the memories was so vivid that she could still feel fabric of his suit against her, the electrifying feeling on his skin on her own.
She ripped her gaze away just to be greeted by the portrait of Bucky, plastered so hugely on the memorial of one of the Howling Commandos section. Despite the cracking of her heart, her body move on its own; as they knew that deep down, Y/N's heart will always be yearning for her lover.
Her gaze soften with longing and nostalgic as she slowly blink at his features. His considerably messy hair, that little frown that he does to act mysterious for the ladies, and the thin layer of beard that she loved to leave her lipstick marks on.
Y/N's daydream were cut short when someone pulled her by the arm, startling her into a defensive mode. Her 6th life's habit almost broke through when she nearly flipped the man on the floor but thankfully she stopped herself as she recognized those blue eyes.
The man's face looked pale like he had seen a ghost, as he uttered a name that she haven't heard for decades, "y/n?"
"Steve..." she called his name wordlessly.
She knew he was alive. Everybody does, when the news came out in 2011, she was merely a 15 year old kid back then. Apparently, the super soldier serum helped him to survive the ice.
She remembered how her parents rushed to her room when they heard the sudden cluttering sounds of panic upstairs, only to find their daughter on the floor looking pale while her cup of iced coffee spilling in all over her study desk as the viral youtube video of Captain America running through New York city barefoot.
She remembered the feeling of both disbelief and joy that rushed through body as her parents helped her to sit up on her bed. The moment that it sunk into her head, she began to cry. Streams of joyful tears broke from her shaky body, each drop washed the painful burden in her heart as her parents lulled her to sleep.
Y/N never made an effort to meet him after knowing truth because who would've believe her words?
She wasn't Steve. There wasn't any super soldier serum in her blood. There wasn't any tank of chemical that drown her with power.
She was cursed and now she had to live with it.
Meanwhile, Steve seemed to be trapped in a spiralling confusion of his own. He examined each of her features and he had not a single doubt that she has the same face to an old friend in the 40's.
The same friend that he knew died of old age in the 60's.
But, how come the person managed to have the exact same face to hers. Now that he looked closer, she was younger than the last time he saw Y/N. She looked like she was in her teens, "Are you really y/n?" His voice was soft as he muttered.
Y/N bit the insides of her cheeks, holding back the urge of telling him the truth, "Sorry, I think you got the wrong person." she tried to untangle his grasp around the thin of her arm.
Even her voice was similar to Y/N, and she was looking at Bucky's photo like she knew him.
How could she say that she's was not Y/N?
Steve reluctantly let go of her arms and took a step away after seeing the distress on her face, "I-I'm sorry. You remind me of someone I know." He couldn't take his eyes off her.
She was just too similar looking to someone precious that he left behind.
"It's okay, sir." She smiled gently, like the way she usually does when Steve apologizes for his impulsiveness of picking a fight in alleyways. She looked up to the taller man as she continued, "Thank you for being alive..." she hesitated to call him by his name so instead she called for his other name, "...Captain."
She thanked him sincerely before walking away, leaving Steve to reminisce the memories of his life with Y/N and Bucky as he stared at Bucky's memorial.
The next week, she left the United States for Asia where she planned to spend 4 years studying at the National University of Singapore, leaving her past behind in hopes of moving forward with her life, refusing to care about the avengers shenanigans anymore, including her dear friend, Steve.
New York, 2018 – New norms
When half of the population was wiped out from the earth, two of them was Y/N's parents. And like every other people who had lost their loved ones during the blip, her parents sudden absence truly take a toll on her, especially when she was planning to live a long life with them.
After graduating and getting a decent job in Singapore, she was forced to go back to New York when it happened. Y/N couldn't just let her childhood house left abandoned, she simply can't let that happen.
You would thought a person who had multiple lifetimes would be used to losing someone they love but no. It only gets worst as the years go by.
The more Y/N tried to fit into the new norms, the more that she could feel herself slipping into old habits of her 6th life.
Until that one drunken night when she visited the Smithsomian Museum again after years of forcing herself to forget about him; it took her one look at the potrait of Bucky, she knew what she had to do.
Germany, 2023 – An old nemesis
Nearly 5 years into the blip and Y/N was already becoming a legend in the underground scene. They called her the Deathstalker. She never really knew the origin of it but nevertheless she chooses to stick with the newly founded identity.
With the skills she picked up on her 6th life, she easily became the most deadly assassin in the business, seemingly in a constant competition of reputation with the highly popular, black widow assassins.
Though she couldn't care less about who was winning the battle, she only cares about tracking anything or anyone related to Hydra.
After that fateful night at the museum, she couldn't to think that this must be her calling.
If the curse made her technically immortal, then why not became the hunter destined to slay the monster. They said that Hydra will never die, but so was she. And if anything good came out from this curse, then she might as well use it to avenge Bucky.
And bring the old nemesis to the ground.
Her 6th life was similar to this but she wasn't going to make the same mistake. The flaming greed to have her revenge was too strong back then, it lead her to be hasty and clumsy, which then let her to an early death.
But, she's grown out of those immaturity.
Nowadays, she takes her time and still get the job done flawlessly. Just like she is now, when the soft but dark sound of her chuckle, interrupted the silence that had claimed the room.
The poor man was sitting limp on the chair with his body tied with it. He had been like this for seemingly hours with a knife in one of his thighs, which trembled with the vibrations of his body.
More so, when Y/N twisted them, causing a keen of pain to clawed up his throat and spilled out a hoarse groan.
"Where is it?" Her fingers wrapped around the handle, as she watched the man tossed his head, more with fear than trying to answer.
"I don't like to repeat myself." Y/N slid the blade free, causing a noise he would not forget. The man sagged against his bonds, panting as he watched the blood surged and dribbled out of the wound.
But then he felt the prick against his other leg, wide eyes turning to watch as the knife was held above his skin, Y/N's hand flat against the top, ready to push in. "Where the fuck is it?" her tone was eerie as the voice changer in her mask produced an emotionless robotic effect on it.
"I don't know what you're talking about." The thick german accent seethed through his voice as he grunted in pain.
There was only boredom in Y/N's eyes as she gazes straight into his. A stab of the knife went through his thigh without a warning, until the tip of it almost met the flat surface of the chair beneath it.
The whole room echoed with the sound of the whimpering and cries of his struggle, "Please, I swear to God I don't know what you're talking about." He pleaded as fast as he can, when he felt the shortage of breaths in his lungs due to dealing with the excruciating pain.
"Playing dumb isn't going to help you, mutt." She twisted the knife, pulled out and stabbed it again causing him to fall into an almost delirious state, "Please, please please, I swear I don't know anything about the serum." He blurted out of misery.
There it was.
The thing she wanted to hear.
Y/N's eyebrow quirked in interest, "I never mentioned the serum in our conversation, no?"
He fucked up.
He knew that he fucked up.
But, does it matter when his body was searing in pain?
By the end of the intense interrogation, Y/N finally got the intel she needed to find and destroy whatever was left behind by Wilfred Nagel, who was recruited by the CIA to recreate the super soldier serum.
Those greedy fuckers just cannot stay away from things that shouldn't be meddled with. Even Y/N could see the potential threats of a successful recreation the super soldier serum; they were practically asking for Hydra to revive to its glory days.
And she would not allow that to happen.
She needed to destroy it before its finished.
A loud wail left the man's lips, almost sounded a little strained as he had been screaming in pain for hours. Y/N mercilessly grabbed him by his sweaty chin as she pried his mouth open. Knowing exactly what was coming, the man begged, "Oh lord, please please help me please."
Leaning closer she coldly spoke, "The gods doesn't care about you. Trust me I've been there." With a swift strike, she forced her knife down his throat, and a splash of red tainted her mask, nearly got into her eyes but she managed to blink before it does.
She stood still as she watched him gurgle on his own blood as death collected his soul. Wiping the blood away from her eyelid, she walked out of the abandoned building with a mission to finish; all the while blissfully oblivious to the war that the avengers were fighting to their death on the other side of the world.
Madripoor, 2024 – The most prized asset
The returned of her parents were as sudden as the lost. Though she was glad that they were back, however she had to live a double life now that they kept asking about her job and personal life as they wanted to catch up for the lost of time in 5 years.
Y/N felt bad for lying to her parents but it was for their own good. Now, that she had sent them to a honeymoon to travel all over Europe, she felt better in pursuing her mission without concerns.
Besides the joyful return there was also the awful ones.
Now, that Wilfred Nagel was back from the blip. The serum was perfected to its finest version. And was stolen by bunch of kids protesting for equal rights.
What a fucking mess that was.
But, she would deal with that later. The main focus right now was to find the man itself. There would be no more serums if the source is eradicated.
That was her priority.
With her face hidden behind her signature mask, Y/N walked through the messy crowd as she searches for Shelby's men. This should be a short meeting, since Shelby and her had history together; or more to a favour that she owns to Y/N.
However, when she tried to tune in into the hushed conversations in the crowd, she noticed that the murmurs seemed to be divided into two hot topics; one about the sudden appreance of the Deathstalker, which was herself, and second was surprisingly about the return of another notorious assassin. 
Then when the conversations died down, a fight suddenly broke out. Y/N hold on the handle of her blades from the side of her thighs, as she stiffed into a defensive mode.
While on the other hand, the crowd seemed to be more interested in recording the fight, than avoiding it.
She seemlessly weaved her way through the people, only to see that the action ended with a man choked onto the table of bar. The attacker's face turned away from her where she could only see his figure from the back.
Then, a gleam of gold caught her attention, Y/N squinted her eyes as she analyzed the man's left arm.
It was not the pattern of the sleeve from his suit.
It was his arm.
A black bionic arm.
Which reminded of her of someone she came across in her 6th life; but his was a tin foil silver with a red star on his upper arm. At the time, he was Hydra's most prized asset, they called him the Winter Soldier.
Part II >>
Read my other works here: Masterlist
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A/N: yes, I am well aware that left y'all hanging but I still hope you enjoy this one. Tell me what you think so far, I'm curious if y'all cry at the part where she received the letter or maybe you can comment of something else, I'd still love to hear them ♡
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writersblg · 7 months
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how the cod characters would react to their partner being a true crime junkie
The sun was starting to set when your partner came back from training. They closed the door behind them and made their way to the living room where you were already wrapped up in a blanket. The music suggested you were watching a normal mystery show but the wholesome scenario your partner thought they found themselves in quickly crumbled as the presenter said “after taking off the skin and hanging it to dry she chopped up the body”
Simon
Unfortunately, doesn’t enjoy it as much as you do. For obvious reasons.
He’d give you the nastiest side eye and will just retreat to another room to solve a crossword or something.
Finds these shows incredibly disrespectful and really doesn’t get why you’d watch this.
ALTHOUGH he knows you’ll cuddle up beside him in the night and hide behind his big muscles (I’m deceased) so that’s kinda cute but that only adds to him not knowing why you’d watch true crime in the first place.
Soap
Watches everything with you
Will be mad if you do it on your own even if he’s on a mission
Enjoys the stories of female killers the most (if it’s out of revenge he’d cheer for them)
CONTRA he’d talk all the time about the nitty gritty of murders (basically plays the UNO reverse to Keegan; you’ll be afraid of him)
Gaz
It took a lot of time or convincing to make this happen but he now watches these shows with you.
Rarely talks; “hope they rot in hell” is all you’d get out of him.
Holds you very nicely though and gets up during commercials to get you two snacks <3.
Tells you about the super weird things that happened in his hometown when he was a kid and expects you to be normal about it.
Price
Falls asleep during the first 10 minutes
There’s nothing he hasn’t seen and no matter how brutal these attacks on the shows were he finds them tame
He won’t spoil your watching experience though and lets you lean on him if you’re getting tired
He won’t do true crime marathons with you but might compromise on watching 6h of government conspiracies or something instead
Alex
The most interesting part to him is the reasoning for the killers and silently does psycho analysis’ of them
If he has heard about the case before he’d add some information the presenter hasn’t talked about
You two just vibe
He lays on you and occasionally raises his head at particularly interesting scenes
Very much a true crime enthusiast himself
Also very much no expression on his face as they describe the attacks
Farah
SIDE EYE
Watches with you but the way she judges you for watching this is crazy
Blames it on your culture
Farah: “I can fix them”
Valeria
Sometimes laughs out of nowhere when she’s watching with you 😭 (would honestly destroy my psyche)
Loves to hear when the police messed up so badly they could’ve prevented more deaths but failed to do so
Watches the most gruesome way to attack someone and goes like “Haha I did this once.”
Gives you self defense tips according to the cases
Alejandro
Gets so invested in it
Gives you all the crime statistics if the case happened in Mexico
Randomly dropped that he knew the killer personally more than once
Happily talks about it at work the next day
Rudy
Sometimes curses in Spanish because he gets too worked up over this
Cannot watch unsolved cases; will think about it all night
Looks the cases up on the internet while the show is still on
Just deepens his perspective of there being more bad people than good people in this world
Keegan
He’s actually scared of you if you watch this without any reactions
Reminds me of that one AITA story
Accidentally told his friends he’s scared of you (but with heart eyes)
He’d watch it with you but mostly watches your reaction from a safe distance (the other end of the couch)
If you chop something in the kitchen later he’d gently take the knife from you and do it himself; you think he’s being funny but it’s just self preservation
Will still cuddle with you <3 later that night
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honeyhivess · 8 months
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i can't help falling in love with you <3
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first 3 overblot boys falling in love with gender neutral reader
tags: cursing, might be ooc i am new to writing them
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riddle rosehearts <3
riddle would only be open to dating someone after his overblot, he's such a stickler for the rules and didn't allow himself to truly let go and have fun until after the blot incident
he would be really scared to get into a relationship because of his parents, mostly his mom
he didn't want to get older and become his mother and treat his significant other like she treated him
you would probably have to be really close to him for him to start liking you tbh
the realization honestly hits him in the middle of the night
after doing his nightly routine he got into bed and relaxed, thinking over the unbirthday party that happened that night
adeuce had invited you to attend since you helped paint the roses, and since riddle had a bit of a soft spot for you by now he happily allowed it
you had a chair on one of the long sides of the table, closest to his chair at the head
late in the night his mind kept replaying you laughing at one of trey's bad jokes
oh shit.
riddle would be eyes open, staring at the wall in realization
the warmth he felt in his chest remembering your bright smile that day had him pleasantly overwhelmed
he never had the chance to crush on anyone else before since his mom so heavily sheltered him
this feeling came to him unknown and he was confused
he had a hard time falling asleep that night, and the next morning he immediately rushed to trey
after being teased a bit and prodded a bit more he realized he liked you
which, scared him
a couple days after he found out just what those feelings meant, he would have a hard time facing you
he didn't know what to do with this newfound information
you would have to confront him and make him tell you why he was borderline avoiding you
his face is RED red
he wouldn't stutter and would still kinda talk normally, but it would be more rushed
"Prefect... I've had the realization that I, really like you... If you would indulge me, I would love to take you out sometime...?"
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leona kingscholar <3
...eh
lions normally have a pride of females, so leona is kinda used to flirting and romance
however, he is the bastard second born, so he isn't used to being the center of attention
when he met you, he saw an opportunity to have the chance at romancing someone without his brother looming over his shoulder
you hadn't even HEARD of his brother, which meant you couldn't even really pick falena over him
this excited leona a lot, so he got really territorial over you really fast
he would also put quite a bit of effort into wooing you, well, more than normal
he really tries to make himself just generally more appealing
he's nicer when you're around and started taking care of himself a bit more
it's a subtle change to you, but he gets DESTROYED by ruggie
when he initially realized he liked you he didn't have any big reaction
he's been through a couple relationships prior to you so it's not really anything new to him
you will start being dragged into his schemes more
also known as i really hope you like napping because you're about to get crushed
he drags you into his naps a lot, and he lays directly on top of you
you will not escape.
also he starts giving you a lot of things, gifts, food, clothing
he's not a hopeless romantic so don't really expect any super grand gestures
he also doesn't really confess? he kinda just asks you out
confessing is lame to him, it's juvenile
"Ay, herbivore? You free this saturday? You better be, I need a date to this dumb restaurant."
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azul ashengrotto <3
motherfucker is NOT confessing first
i really hate to break it to you, but after his childhood, he does not have the confidence for that
now, azul may not confess, but he will flirt
...badly...
when he realized he kinda panicked and was immediately overwhelmed with worst case scenarios
he does not think you would ever like him, when he was younger he tried confessing to someone and got laughed at
so that kinda crushed him
jade and floyd would not be told, but they would notice very quickly
azul gets flustered when you're around and you get offered discounts occasionally
at first they thought azul wanted something materialistic from you
no he just wants your hand in marriage
they immediately become his wingmen, but
they are kinda the world's worst wingmen
jade is actually pretty good at highlighting azuls charms and good traits, but he also loves embarrassing azul in front of you
floyd is, floyd
he's a bit louder and much less subtle
and when combined they just start embarrassing azul, the poor octo-mer is dying
now, if you start hinting towards liking azul back, it is on
he immediately goes back into his smooth personality and he will start flirting with you
it starts of subtle, but it will become more apparent as time goes on
if you're really lucky and catch him on a good day, he'll ask you out
he'll invite you to monstro lounge, no one else will be there and you will be treated like royalty
jade would be the one serving you and floyd would be watching very intently from the kitchen
everything is on the house, just for you
"Have whatever you'd like, Prefect. This is all but a little taste of what more is to come."
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a/n: i had so much fun writing azuls, i love octavinelle so much asdfghjk
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dpr-stay · 9 months
Text
Shadow | FA14
Fernando Alonso x Wolff!Reader
Written and SMAU
Warnings: General Crack, Reader was pregnant at one point, reader is female, egregious ignoring of real world events.
WC: ~2.9k (she small)
Reader is just that girl in this one, sorry. Also how easy is it to tell i’m not 40 years old. Anyways, not edited and just written because i had the idea. When will i actually write romance and not just scenarios?
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Being the sister of anyone related to any sport meant your face would be known within the community, whether you wanted it to or not. The number of people increased exponentially when the person you were related to was someone incredibly important within that community.
For example, your brother was Toto Wolff, a billionaire who was the Team Principal of a fairly well known F1 team. You might not have heard of them, Mercedes might ring a bell? This meant you were unwittingly paired with F1 wherever you went.
Whether it be a function for one of the many hospitals or health care clinics you’d set up or even one of the many charity gala’s you’d played a part in funding, you’d always be asked a question or two about formula one and whatever DRS is. 
Honestly, you didn’t mind it at first, always laughing it off with grace and even playing into some rivalries at times, but as you got older and you achieved more things past having a rich brother, it began to get annoying. I mean, you weren’t even that far off his net worth, only around a billion, surely that was more interesting than what your favourite spice girls song was? (You answered ‘Spice up your life’)
So, sure, the fact that even the questions reporters shouted at you as you walked from your car to your front door was about your brothers doing’s instead of your own did piss you off a little. You were only human after all, and having your achievements ignored in favour of your brother’s continually grated at you. 
However, you were loyal and never let that get the best of you. Even after performing a heart transplant, you could entertain some 24 year old journalism student about what you thought your brother's funniest moment was in order to maintain his brand.
That was a situation similar to the one you found yourself in right now. You’d walked out of the office at around 9 at night, the toll of the amount of paperwork that came with managing four medical practices and countless other endeavours taking it’s time to break you down. 
You were on your phone, your do-not-disturb on as you scrolled through your contacts. The time-distance didn’t bother you, it was probably morning for whoever you were trying to call anyway.
The fact you hadn’t really been looking around, instead focused on the phone ringing in your hand, as you sludged from the elevator to your car that was parked the furthest possible distance from the elevator (surely as the CEO you could have a private park) didn’t work in your favour as a group of reporters jump-scared you by calling your name.
You jolted, whipping around and holding your keys in between your fingers, prepared to stab someone. But, at seeing the shocked and surprised faces of the journalists and the shine of the camera lenses they were pointing at you, you withdrew your hand, executing a perfectly practiced relieved sigh. 
“Sorry, you scared me there.” You said laughing, gesturing in front of you with your phone, quickly hanging it up as the call was answered, a dumb ‘Hello?’ not having the chance to echo through the garage. The reporters thankfully brushed it off and started a spiel about ‘results’ and ‘engines’ and blah blah blah. 
You tuned it out, hopefully maintaining a politefully interested face through the ordeal. It was nice that they hadn’t commented on the eye-bags you were harbouring or the smell of cat vomit that was emanating from your clothes after a poorly timed spew from your cat over your laundry this morning.
The curling lip and tightening nostrils of one of the camera men had you trying to resist smiling as the man holding the microphone kept going, though you quietly reprimanded yourself about not spraying more perfume as you left your office.
“Regardless of results, do you still think of Mercedes as your favourite F1 team?” The reporter finally asked, you snapping back from staring at the exposed wiring that lined the roof of the garage. A smile was plastered across your face as you responded.
“Of course! I’m big on family loyalty so yeah, Mercedes will always be my favourite team.” You said, pursing your lips and shrugging. The reporters exchanged glances and you minutely tilted your head at their reaction, curious. Were they not expecting that? The interviewer glanced at his colleagues before he turned to you again, microphone perched and ready to be used.
“Have you seen any news recently?” He asked as impartially as possible. You raised an eyebrow. Now, what did that mean? Had Toto said something mean about you? Did Mercedes collapse overnight? 
You doubted either of those were the reasons, you’d have definitely heard of it. A quick glance at your apple watch revealed the opposite however, the over 1000+ missed notifications you had displayed as you fidgeted with the scroll wheel. Due to the display screen being small, you couldn’t see much but you saw a lot of driver’s names, ‘AHHHHH’s, and questions about Toto’s mental health. What on earth had happened while your cat had been retching on your business wear?
You decided to play it safe, teasing the reporters while not revealing if you had seen the news or not. A raised eyebrow and a hand bringing itself to your hip hopefully clued them in to your goading intentions as you answered.
“Is this news the reason you are trespassing on private property?” The whole crew somehow blanched as they took in the fact you were right. The garage was locked unless they had a security card but, as the creator of the company, you knew of the small chain link fence on the ground floor which could be pulled back and crawled under.
You patiently awaited their responses, glancing between all of their faces as they collectively tried to come up with a reply. The hive-mind didn’t succeed though, you eventually calling it after a few awkward seconds, sighing before giving them what they wanted.
“What’s the news?” You asked, almost begrudgingly watching as the interviewer’s eyes lit up. You recognised that look, the look of an intern realising they could finally be paid for their work, as you’d lived it many times.
“You are Fernando Alonso’s celebrity crush!” The reporter said, the collective watching you with baited breaths as you processed their words. Now, as an almost fourty year old woman with a successful business and job, you weren’t quite sure what reaction they wanted.  Say, twenty years ago, you probably would’ve been able to put on a performance, fanning yourself as a dopey smile filled your face. 
But you had more pressing things to worry about, such as if you’d get home before your daughter had to be put to bed. You were already pushing it, staying at the office so late, and you knew the disapproving glance the baby-sitter you’d hired would have once you got home would make you feel worse.
So you reacted the only way you could think of at that moment.
“Oh, yeah that. I already knew that.” You said dismissively, waving a hand as if to swat a fly from your face. The look on the group’s faces was pretty similar all around, confusion.
“So, you have seen the news?” The reporter asked hesitantly, slightly dropping their microphone and you shook your head, an deliberately incredulous look crossing your face.
“No…? Is that really the news that made you break into my company’s garage?” You asked, disbelief leaking into your voice as you looked all of them in the eye. The corners of your mouth raised slightly.
“So wait, you knew you were Fernando Alonso’s celebrity crush without seeing the interview?” The interviewer drew your attention back and you nodded along with their words.
“Yeah.” You said simply and then thought before adding, “Though I wouldn’t quite say I’m a celebrity.” 
The group of reporters had unknowingly stumbled on a gold mine, something that your tired brain refused to accept and something they didn’t even know. You’d probably have to play it safe from here on out, careful not to reveal too much about how you knew that Fernando felt that way about you. Sorry, Fernando Alonso felt that way about you.
“Whaaa.. You’ve never said anything or done anything?” The reporter asked, leaning in closer, the microphone coming dangerously close to touching your lips. You looked down at it and drew back before starting to speak.
“Well, no. Just because I knew about it doesn’t mean I should do something about it. I said I’m loyal to Mercedes, I’m not breaking that.” You mumbled into the microphone as it edged closer and closer to your lips. 
The looks of incredulity that were spread across the group that had accosted you nearly made you laugh, as though it was impossible that you’d known and not done anything.
In fairness to them, when you’d learned that Fernando had some sort of interest in you, say around 8 years ago, you had had a bit of a tiff, something you were a little embarrassed to admit, and then you’d promptly asked him out. He refused to accept that though, meeting you the next day and asking you out with more flair. 
You’d already accepted before he’d gotten the words out and bam, all of a sudden you were wearing the reddest scrubs you could find when you were walking around the hospital instead of the black one’s you’d been wearing since Toto became team principal. It was an inconspicuous form of representing the man you’d grow to love, something which had come with a lot of warning and pleas to reconsider from Toto.
Life had continued, and after a very busy 2019, you had fallen pregnant, something which you had thought definitely wouldn’t have happened at your age. But life finds a way I suppose and there you were, a baby Alonso permanently attached to your hip.
2020 was a nice year, Fernando being able to be there to see the baby grow from a, for lack of better words, crying sack of flesh and into a crawling child something that you cherished. However, life continued and Fernando went back to racing while you eventually returned to the hospital and your philanthropy after a few years, returning back to take care of your baby after shifts.
That’s where you were at at the moment, having been living together for well past the amount of time your parents had ever though unmarried couples should be. The newly acquired ring on your finger had quietened their worries though it increased the groaning of Toto and the joy coming from Geri. 
You were a bit confused, though, why Fernando had decided to bring you up in an interview. You’d thought that you both had decided to not talk about it if not asked, though the possibilities of being asked about it were almost slim-to-none. 
To be fair, if he’d been blatantly asked who his celebrity crush was and he said someone else, you would have been a bit miffed when the inevitable message from that person rolled into his inbox. 
But still, it was curious what a reporter was doing asking a fully-grown man what his celebrity crush was. Maybe it was a gossip article, or maybe it was something to do with Taylor Swift and trying to get him to admit to their secret relationship.
The reporter in front of you cleared their throat.
“If you haven’t seen the news then and you are loyal to Mercedes, you’ll probably be happy to know that Lewis Hamilton also said you were his celebrity crush!” The excitement in their voice was obviously staged as they read the pre-written line, as though they were put off that you weren’t more hyped, but all you could think was ‘there it was’.
You probably should’ve seen it coming, to be honest, Fernando not the guy to try and one-up. You couldn’t wait to go home and watch the video footage of the inevitable glare he’d thrown at Lewis before speaking threateningly, probably holding himself back from spilling about the family you’d both created. 
That was probably why he’d waited a few seconds before picking up the call that you’d hurriedly hung up, preparing himself to face the brunt of your giggles for a few minutes before you calmed down. 
However, you hadn’t been able to tease him about the thing you didn’t know about because of the reporters who were filming you, waiting for your reaction to the news Lewis Hamilton himself had a celeb-crush on you, as though that even meant anything and wasn’t a way to get on Fernando’s toes. 
“Oh.” You said after a second. The crew deflated and an incredulous look showed itself on the interviewer’s face as she processed your word before quickly covering it up.
“You’re not a big Hamilton fan?” She asked, trying to extract something more from you. You shrugged.
“Don’t mind him.” You simply remarked before exaggeratedly yawning and checking your watch. You then made a dramatically shocked face and turned back to the cameras.
“Well I best get going!” A slight accent that you’d never used before sneaked into your words and you cleared your throat.
“I trust you guys know where the exit is.” You said, referring to the camera crew before turning around and making your way across the garage to where your car sat.
“Do you have anything to add?” The interviewer shouted across the cavern in an attempt to get something more from their visit and you turned as you walked, spinning around your keys. 
The group looked a bit defeated, the glimmer in their eyes dulled as though they thought they would’ve gotten more lucky than what they had. You couldn’t but take pity on them, the thought of them putting in more work after this to try and get a good story playing on your heartstrings.
Anyways, Fernando had already done a little bit of the revealing of your relationship, what could a few more hints do?
“No, sorry!” You yelled back before pausing a second and continuing slyly. “I’m just gonna go home to my kid, hopefully you guys get home safe to your families.” 
Really well done there, inserted completely naturally. You turned back around, hearing the gasps echoing from the group and the increase in chatter as you unlocked your car, hopped in, and booted it up.
You quickly called Fernando as you got in the car, him picking up instantly. 
“What was that about?” He asked, the sound of his voice playing through your speakers making you smile as you relaxed back into the seat, watching the increasingly frantic movements of the young reporters. 
“Sorry, I got ambushed.” You said as you pulled out of your parking spot and followed the lines till you reached the entrance, waving at the group before pulling out of the garage. There was little-to-no traffic as you drove through office blocks, before pulling onto the highway.
“Ambushed?” He asked worried and you replied, telling the story of what happened that had caused you to hang up on him. He responded and laughed where appropriate, a skill that he’d gained over years of talking to you.
When you’d finished he went quiet and you enjoyed the silence, one hand on the steering wheel as you pulled off the highway and into your quiet neighborhood. 
“They know we have a child?” He asked and you nodded before responding.
“They know I have a child.” You affirmed and he sighed, pondering a second.
“They know it’s not with Lewis right?” You couldn’t help the giggle that spouted from your throat, you eventually having to pull over as the ridiculousness of the situation dawned over you.
You couldn’t see but on the other side of the world, Fernando was laying in his hotel bed, a smile on his face as he listened to you laugh. The story you’d told had been strange, though he supposed it was his fault, and he was glad you could see the humour in it instead of panicking. He thought for a second.
“Should we come clean?” He asked and you stopped laughing, silence coming from your side of the phone. He called your name, his smooth accent pronouncing it perfectly. You had both hands on the steering wheel, pulled over somewhere on your way home to your child, with your soon-to-be husband on the phone, debating whether or not you should reveal your relationship.
It had been long enough, you were plenty secure in your relationship, but you were worried about the impact it would have on your child. You didn’t want them to grow up in a world were they were stood in the shadow of their parents instead of being recognised for being themself, you’d lived a version of that and knew how frustrating it could get. 
But it would be nice to be able to go to races and be with your fiance instead of your brother who could get incredibly annoying, incredibly fast. You finally nodded your head, the decision coming fast as you weighed the benefits and cons.
“Let’s do it.” You said finally and you could hear Fernando sigh in relief and mumble in agreeance.
The way that Toto’s name had popped up on your phone after you said that still haunted your dreams sometimes.
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hope you liked this unedited mess
It’s past 12 I’m sorry
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izzywantscheesecake · 3 months
Note
leo valdez x female reader!! dating headcanons *blows kiss*
Dating Leo Valdez Headcanons!
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Pairing: Leo Valdez x Fem!Reader Fandom: Camp Half-Blood Chronicles/Heroes of Olympus Quick Synopsis: Just some paragraphs headcanons on how you and Leo would meet/what dating him would be like. Tags: Use of Y/N, Fluff, no specific physical description of the reader (other than the fact they're female coded), Comfort
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HOW YOU TWO WOULD MEET I imagine Leo to be someone who looks for a person he's able to have a lot of common ground with in a relationship. Of course, he's able to crack jokes (even the not so funny ones) around practically everyone, but there's a difference between small banter and just full on being able to vibe with someone. I think he'd be very attracted to someone interested in the arts, or someone who likes to make their own things as a mean of self expression in general. We all know how Leo is in terms of self confidence - he'd like a person who is unapologetically them, proud of their art and self expression and someone who has enough emotional awareness to give him reassurance in a relationship when they can sense he needs it. You guys would probably first meet at some type of event or workshop, or if you're a camper, probably at the dining pavilion when he sees you and has to do a double take because "who is that cool girl I've never seen before?" he'd muster enough confidence to come up and tell you a corny joke, stumbling on his words, which makes you laugh.
"Hey, can I ask you something?"
You looked up from your feet, now practically face to face with this guy you'd never seen before. His clothes were wrecked with dirt and debris, so were his gloves.
He was standing awkwardly, and his hands, clearly shaking, were clenched into tight fists.
"Sure?"
"So um, riddle me this. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?"
"Because pterodactyls went extinct 65 million years ago?"
His eyes widened, and a red tint began to become more visible around his face as he scratched his head, messing up his already tangled locks of hair.
"Oh.. That wasn't what I was going to say," He chuckled.
You smiled, suddenly feeling a warm aura coming from this boy.
"Well, what were you going to say?"
"Because, uh.. The P is.. Damn, whatever. My name's Leo. What's yours?"
ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS He was awkward at the start of the relationship, not really knowing what to say or what exactly "being a boyfriend" entails, but once he starts getting comfortable and more confident around you, that's where the fun begins (yes this is a star wars reference) Expect every Spanish nickname to be pulled out of the book. "Mi amor," "Hermosa," "Bonita," "Mi vida," "Corazón," if it exists in the Spanish language, he's most definitely said it. And he won't skip out on variations of your preferred name, or even silly sounding nicknames in public, like: "pookie" and "sugarplum" or some other stupidness. For dates, I believe he'd very much vary between educational and immersive dates and just straight up goofing off. It honestly depends on the season. Late Fall/Winter is for going to museums, workshops, possibly a joint coding class or hanging together in one of your rooms, and Spring/Summer is for exploring the town and having those cute little boardwalk + beach + ferris wheel dates. (I also imagine him to be somewhat clumsy and he WOULD drop ice cream all over the pavement.) As the son of Hephaestus, he is most definitely a human radiator. Definitely had a lot of fever scares just because of his temperature alone. But don't worry, he's fine. And the heat is an extra bonus if you're cuddling. Speaking of cuddling and physical proximity, Leo's love languages are gift-giving and physical touch. It doesn't matter if you guys have been apart for 2 minutes or 2 days, if he hasn't seen you in a little bit, he will greet you with one of those spin around hugs or a kiss on the hand. And for gift giving, he enjoys giving and receiving gifts. He likes to either make you little trinkets, or make/buy your favorite foods. He is a firm believer of giving his lady princess treatment, even on a dollar store budget. Though he wouldn't consider himself much of a photographer, I think he probably enjoys taking lots of pictures of you, both with and without him. It's to savor the moment, and also because he wishes he could've taken more pictures with his mother when she was still alive. He has a photo album of just you, him, and the adventures you two go on. You're not a stranger to pranking by him, by the way. If anything, he probably pranks you the most, out of love. You'll chase him down for a few hours, and he gets a thrill out of it knowing you won't stay mad at him forever. In conclusion, dating Leo can be rocky, calming, and give you a whirlwind of emotions, similar to how being on a floating trireme would feel.
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A/N: I'm going to be real I never really paid much attention to Leo in the books, so I'm hoping this is accurate?? my bad if it isnt gang 🙏🏽🙏🏽
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dizzycoffee · 2 months
Note
Oh my gosh I love your writing!!! After reading the Vox x Angel Reader I was just "Wow so cute!"
And then I got this idea from it
What if Vox just can't do anything anymore or just say a simple "No" to (Female Angel)Reader without them using there puppy eyes on him ALL of the time even at times they don't do it intentionally
Like we just act a cute puppy once we are getting yelled at we just give our owners a sad puppy eye look and make them do what we want XDD
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— Vox / Angel!Fem!Reader; Headcanons Part 2
KSGDHG thank you sm !!! this dynamic is honestly so much fun to write !
for the first post, click here !
*・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・ HEADCANONS ・*:.。..。.:*・゜゚・*
While Vox is still a bit hesitant to put a label in the relationship, the two of you definitely act like you're in a romantic one
A committed one at that, seeing as how you made it very clear you have no interest in anyone but him
He, on the other hand, makes it clear by the way he never refuses your requests
Usually, he's quite compliant when it comes to you asking for physical things
If you asked for anything, he'll gladly fulfill your needs
You're thirsty? Here's a water. You're cold? He's brought a blanket with him. You're tired? Please, lie down and he'll turn the lights down to make it easier to rest
There are two main instances in which hesitates with your requests...
Vox pulled the blanket over you, smiling to himself as he watched you yawn. "Go ahead and sleep, angel," he whispered. As he began to move away, your hand reached for his. Your touch left him buffering for a second, turning his head to look over at your pleading look. Despite the now darkened room, your eyes still shined amidst the darkness. "Can you stay with me?" you asked in a soft tone. Swallowing thickly, Vox felt himself hesitate for a moment. He obliged, slithering into bed next to you. Naturally, your wings wrapped themselves around him.
When in comes to more emotional / intimate requests, he finds himself a bit reluctant
Not because he doesn't want to— no no, he LOVES to cuddle you and all
It sort of comes back to his inferiority complex and how he doesn't want to end up corrupting you
He loves you, so much he's scared to hurt you in any way
He can't unsee how your hands feel so soft against his claws, the way your angelic wings warm his cold and stiff body
He feels he isn't meant to be loved by an angel like you...
You, on the other hand, don't particularly care whether he's an overlord, a demon, etc.
You don't necessarily hate his hesitance, because you understand that he's still struggling to come to terms that this whole relationship is okay
But you don't fully tolerate it, especially when all you want to do is kiss him
You developed this specific habit for him whenever he starts to hesitate or begin to think negatively
Vox cleared his throat, "You want... more kisses?" You held back a sigh, understanding that he was beginning to overthink things. You looked up at him, letting your eyes widen as your brows twitched into an expression that left him flustered. You pout your lips as you say, "Please, Voxy? For me?" It didn't take more than a second for his lips to be attached onto yours.
Emotional intimacy aside, he also hesitates to fulfill your requests whenever you visit while he works
The way he hardly gets any work done whenever you visit during work hours,,,
A soft hum left his lips as he kissed you, his claws gently caressing your cheek. He couldn't get over this overwhelming warm feeling you gave him. Your hands gently tugged at his shoulders as you peppered his lips with your kisses, his own hands running down to your hips to pull you further into his lap. "Vox?! We have a meeting!" The two of you jump, eyes flashing towards the locked door of Vox's office. "Fucking Val..." Vox mumbled before turning to you. "Sorry, angel. We'll have to cut the visit sho—" "But you promised we'd be together all day..." Like a switch, your previously flustered expression flipped to give him the puppy-eyes. He inhaled sharply, claws beginning to dig into your side. "I'm busy!" Vox yelled back out to Valentino. Ignoring the groans and complaints from behind the door, the two of you returned to your longing kisses.
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whaledenwtf · 4 months
Note
I'm such a sucker for Gale, and I want some fluff about him, maybe like what happened after or during the wedding, what would it look like? Like what would our man do
I'm such a sucker for Gale too, he's just baby. I'm not too familiar with Act 3 and the new epilogues they added but I'll do my baby justice. I'll be writing this with a female reader, so if you'd like GN! Reader I can try rewriting it.
As always, I try to keep Gale in character as much as possible. If you enjoy this fic, consider sharing it! I have requests open, which you can send here: Link I have a Masterlist for Baldur's Gate 3 works I've written, which also has a list of what I will and won't write here: Link
Gale x AFAB!Reader - Wedding Bells
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Warnings: AFAB!Reader, Fluff, Mentions of Anxiety, Self-Deprecation (Poor Gale), Mentions of Mystra (Mystra when I catch you Mystra), Minor Angst if you squint.
WORD COUNT: 869
Gods he was so nervous. He kept pacing back and forth, subconsciously playing with his hands.
"Are you having regrets Mr. Dekarios?" He is snapped out of his reverie by Tara, who's watching him from a distance.
"Regrets? I could never regret my relationship with (Y/N), Tara. I am just... nervous. I don't want her to change her mind, is all." He tells her honestly. Tara struts closer to him, tail swaying behind her.
"I believe you are overthinking, Mr. Dekarios. After all, don't you think she would have changed her mind before the wedding day?" He ponders that for a moment.
"I suppose you may be right, Tara. However, I've come to realize there is no such luck for a fool like me. She may have changed her mind and is running out now-" To emphasize his point, he looks out the window to see if there is a runaway bride. He exhales in relief when he doesn't see you running off. Tara scoffs.
"Are you sure you won't be the one who runs out? Show some self-respect Mr. Dekarios. You are incredibly talented and a good friend. She loves you, in case you had forgotten." Tara sits, her wings twitching.
He looks away from the window, only seeing the wedding party seated in the rows and rows of seats, alongside your companions who were interacting with one another. The door opens, and Gale's mother walks in.
"Oh thank Mystra! My little boy is getting married- I was starting to get worried." Morena wails out, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. Gale rolls his eyes.
"Have you so little faith in me, mother?" She huffs, squinting at him.
"You were a recluse, Gale. A mother tends to worry when her son is aging without another by their side. I just want you happy." She tells him. He looks down, feeling guilty for worrying his mother.
"I am sorry-" Morena shakes her head.
"All is in the past now-" She claps her hands. She walks closer, giving him a once over, brushing non-existent dust off his shoulders. "I am very proud of you." She tells him quietly. He grips her in a tight hug, like a child would when they were scared. She caresses his back comfortingly, and he is filled with a sense of calmness. All his previous fears and anxieties dissipate. The door opens again. Morena lets go of Gale, giving him some space.
"Just coming in to check in. Am I disturbing something?" Gale hears your voice. Before he can take a glimpse at you, he turns around, eyes screwed shut.
"It is bad luck to see the bride before the aisle!" He shouts out. All the women giggle at him. You begin walking forward, smiling at Morena and Tara.
"We will leave you two alone. Come, Tara." They leave, closing the door behind them.
"Turn around, sweetheart. Who needs luck or gods, when we have each other?" You tell him, standing behind him. He sighs, turning around, eyes still screwed shut. You chuckle, taking his face in your hand.
"Open your eyes, Gale." He opens one eye, and his jaw drops. You were stunning; probably the most beautiful thing he has ever laid his eyes upon.
"Oh-" He opens both eyes, to look you up and down, multiple times.
"You're beautiful." He whispers, eyes watering. It never felt so real until this moment, seeing you devote yourself to him. You wipe the single tear that leaves his misty eyes. He blinks multiple times, willing himself not to cry.
"You don't look too bad yourself." You tease him, grinning.
"I wanted to check on you, see if you had changed your mind?" He looks into your eyes, seeing your honesty.
"Why would I change my mind?" You shrug.
"We don't need fancy ceremonies or gold rings to show our love to one another. All I need is you by my side." He takes your hand, kissing it.
"I can never regret anything I do if it involves you, my love." You giggle at his words.
"How are you feeling?" You ask him sweetly. He bites his lip.
"I am- was very nervous. For a moment I thought you would want to cancel the wedding." You shake your head.
"I love you, Gale. I'm not going anywhere. The tadpole couldn't keep us apart; nor the Netherese Orb; and definitely not some goddess." You end the sentence bitterly. He chuckles, putting his arms around you, kissing your forehead.
"We can do this, together." He says out loud.
"Together." You whisper, leaning into his neck and kissing him there.
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BONUS: You close the door behind you, leaving Gale to his thoughts. You turn to see Astarion and Wyll waiting for you. You jump, holding a hand to your heart as they scared you.
"Gods! Don't sneak up on me like that." They both chuckle.
"Did he cry?" Astarion asks excitedly. You chuckle, nodding.
"HA! Pay up Ravengard." Wyll sighs, handing over a pouch of gold to Astarion.
"I knew that sap would cry. Shouldn't have bet against me." Wyll rolls his eye.
"Alright Astarion." Wyll tells him. You smile at the two, before pulling them away from the door.
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faeryarchives · 2 months
Text
savanaclaw with a furina - like female reader!
the "regina of all waters, kindreds, peoples and laws" is deeply loved by all. under her flamboyant and imprudent facade, lies a girl holding an unbearable weight and guilt on her shoulders to save her people. note: as requested and i love furina sm hihi i will also write for other dorms warning: major spoilers for genshin archon quest other fics: heartslabyul with a furina-like reader & i'm not jealous !! & to my beloved & more than words
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-‘๑’- leona kingscholar
"huh? what is the esteemed dorm leader of savanaclaw doing in front of my house?" "... why do you look like you didn't sleep for days? nevermind, take back your pets - they've been following me the whole day and poking me with water." "oh my archons, they like you!"
leona knew different kinds of people, faes and beastmen but never a god! not that you broadcasted it to the world - of course he heard it while grim was chatting away from the garden
so this lion observed your moves and to be honest, you were just like an ordinary person
"what are you doing hiding behind me?" "ahem! you know, i don't really know the forest that much so i would appreciate if i would put myself behind yo- ahhh! what is that?!" "it's just a branch, herbivore. i never knew you are scared of branches."
he actually gained another chess player buddy - he discovered it at the cost of being drenched in water from your water familiars
never he would imagine how on earth did you not go crazy standing in for your archon and acting for so so long? and despite belittling you and your friend group, he couldn't believe his ears when you stood up for him against the other dorms
"what leona did was wrong but how would you feel if all the trainings and efforts were all in naught and overlooked by the people you considered as family? imagine if your fate has already been sealed before you were even born?"
oh, he didn't expect you of all people to do that honestly + not so bad at all so expect a lot of sweets everyday curtesy of this lion
don't tell anyone but with you acting just as yourself and discovering your passions with him as a witness - leona feels proud like a lion watching his cub succeed
extra: you and cheka really go along well to the point that leona thinks cheka might replace him with you someday
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-‘๑’- ruggie bucchi
ruggie trusts his skills in sneaking around and swiping things if needed and he will bet that no one could ever discover him immediately
"after pulling a prank on grim and my salon members, you must think that i am much of a gullible fool?"
now you both did really met at a rough start - the hyena thought you would be more snobbish and not to mingle with people below his level especially after hearing you being a god
but seeing you shielding him during leona's overblot and regularly visiting him during his recovery at the clinic made him questioned his thoughts about you
"why are you always visiting me? i thought you hated me?" "...? where did you get that nonsense? if i do hate you, i would go out of my way to buy these doughnuts for you."
well look at you two now! close like two peas in a pod - you really enjoyed spending time with ruggie because you were seeing the world in a different perspective
having hard time picking your new macaroni menu for the day? no worries, ruggie will make sure you will be able to cook other meals than this. not good with bargaining with sam? hold his groceries, he have this in the bag.
"more interesting trinkets for me~!" "oh you collect trinkets? why didn't you say so?"
omg new trinket collector buddy 🥺 whenever you give him something such as a bracelet or even a hairclip he will wear it like a badge of honor
it's alright to help other students but he is worried that being to kind in nrc might backfire on you
"you shouldn't be too trusting here. i know you just want to help but like your friends said - you should also help yourself at times."
while he might not look like it but ruggie can sense your mood change accurately especially when it involves the topic of your past
this one whole year on nrc might not be comparable to your 500 years of living but ruggie will make sure that it will be the best one
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-‘๑’- jack howl
other than the adeuce and grim team - jack is the person you actually vibe with!
maybe its because his sense of justice and responsibility reminds you of a dear friend back home and it actually comforts you to see it + makes you feel less homesick
this man is very used to his little siblings so expect him to come off as a brotherly vibes + probably makes you an exemption to touching his ears and letting your salon members put some design in his hair
"... do you think these three would be great teammates during magift competitions?"
"hmmm, i must say they do make a great team. what if we bring it up to leona, i think these three will enjoy it very much."
well the dorm leader liked the idea but seeing how they acted during the practice - it's safe to say it is very risky because they only listen to you, jack and leona
ANYWAYS jack sometimes come to the ramshackle dorm just to wake you up knowing you probably stayed up late reading your novels
he tried inviting you to his morning run only to see you the next day already tired and carrying you on his back after one run
"you can't blame me okay! i was born to drama and directing not in running!"
speaking of carrying you on his back he sometimes do it just because he wants to especially when jack knows too well how much you overwork yourself
while he can read you very well, you can also read this guy by the book through his ears and tail movement
"... jack what are you doing here so late?" "…what? it’s not like i was waiting for you or anything." "i never said that though?" "hmp." while he look away, his tail would impatiently wag and hit the wall behind him making you laugh "uhuh, whatever you say. let's go back to our dorms now big guy."
it turns out that while spending the whole afternoon up to evening, jack wanted to accompany you back to the dorm safely - worried that someone is bullying you because you were down for days.
he is not that expressive with words - but just know that jack will always be your friend despite your upbringings or not being open to tell your past, he understands it pretty well
371 notes · View notes
haesunflower · 9 months
Text
jiwoong's 'shared' friend? | a friends with benefits story ft. matthew
genre: smut, threesome, minors dni
pairing: jiwoong x female reader, matthew x female reader
about/tags: in which jiwoong and y/n invite matthew to play (2.2k+)
this is explicit smut, minors dni, begging, toys, spitting, orgasm denial, use of 'sir' and 'daddy', slight jealousy, fluff at the end
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┈•┈୨୧┈•┈ PART 1 HERE
The dorm is empty except for you and Jiwoong (and well, Matthew). Usually, you’d have your casual weekend fucks at your own apartment – away from all the members. But you’d insisted on spending your time in his place instead during the long weekend. Especially as most members chose to spend their break at their hometowns. 
While Hanbin brought Hao, Gyuvin brought Ricky, leaving Matthew alone with Jiwoong. Jiwoong had also “made plans” to go home that weekend, inviting Matthew and convincing him with fun stories about his family. He honestly feels bad for lying to him. 
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. SMUT UNDER THE CUT.
But how mad would Matthew be when you’re practically begging to be touched, your whines heard all the way from the other side of the dorm. And he’s benefitting from the sounds you emit, shamelessly jacking off in his room. 
Jiwoong is making himself busy and actively not paying any attention to you. He’s left his bedroom door wide open, with you tied up to the bannister with flimsy ribbon. Truth be told, you can easily undo the knots of the restraints. But you don’t, you’re a good girl after all. However it’s becoming incredibly difficult to hold yourself together. The vibrator against your clit is driving you insane, and all you is to be fucked. 
“Jiwoong, please. I’ll be good, I promise.”
Still, he pays you no mind. Instead, he’s stirring the cup of coffee he just made. He faces towards you, and with the door left open he sees you struggle not to cum. Your eyes are closed, and you’re biting your lip so hard he thinks you’ll bleed. Like the sadist he is, he doesn’t do anything. Casually sipping his coffee “like I said, babe. If you want to be touched, you’re going to have to ask Matthew.”
And at the sound of his name, the younger boy freezes. His movements on his shaft come to a stop, and out of fear, he pulls up his shorts quickly. Jiwoong turns to the other side of the kitchen where Matthew’s room is at. He knows that his door has been left slightly open with just enough room to peek at the situation in Jiwoong’s room. Said situation that almost drove Matthew to cum in his hands just a few seconds ago.
“Mattchu-ah, I know you’ve been watching it’s okay, you don’t need to hide.”
Matthew feels a mix of shame and arousal when he comes out of his room, unsure of what to do with himself. He’s never been in a threesome before. Jiwoong signals him to come closer, leaning against the counter as he lays down the ground rules. 
“She’s requested you, and since you’re too scared to make a move – I decided to play middle man and get things started for the both of you.” Matthew is gobsmacked at Jiwoong’s revelation. I mean, he did say he was more than okay with sharing, but Matthew didn’t know he was being dead serious. 
He pushes the coffee aside, “first, no kissing on the lips, she hates that. I usually let her decide whether she wants to. second, you’ll have to ask her where she wants to take you, if you’ll get to fuck her that way at all. And third, her safeword is daffodil. what are things you’re uncomfortable with?” Jiwoong asks nonchalantly. 
Matthew blinks once, twice, thrice. Poor boy had difficulty processing all the information with his mind already clouded with horniness. He wasn’t sure if this is a decision he should be making at all. 
“Matthew, if you want in, you’re gonna have to respond to me. Otherwise I’m more than happy to deal with y/n on my own.” Jiwoong gestures to where you are, and your moans bring him back to reality. Matthew glances at the door briefly – catching you in tears, vibrator in place, begging for him “Matt, please. It hurts…” 
With a gulp, he looks Jiwoong in the eye “okay understood, daffodil I got it.” Then, Jiwoong leads Matthew into his room. 
┈•┈୨୧┈•┈ 
Jiwoong shuts the door behind him, and sits down on the bed next to you. He mercifully turns off the vibrator, as he brushes your hair away from your tear stained face. 
“Poor baby, I’m proud of you for holding off for so long”. You let out a pathetic whine at the sudden loss of vibration. But at least Jiwoong is here finally, touching you. He places a soft kiss on your shoulder, “Matthew’s here baby, he wants to help you.” 
That was Matthew’s cue to come closer. You have no pride left as you try to claw at him, completely forgetting about your ribboned restraints. Matthew looks at Jiwoong for one last approval, and upon seeing him nod – gently undoes the knots around your wrists. When you're set free, he tentatively watches as you wrap your arms around his neck. "Touch me please, Matt" you whisper into his ear, as he eagerly removes his shirt and latches his lips to your neck. Matthew's brain is clouded, and all he can think about is how he finally gets to see and touch you like this – he thinks you're so beautiful, naked, and begging to be touched. Small whines escape your lips as he litters small purple kisses across your chest.
Jiwoong takes a backseat on the office chair across the bed and simply watches as Matthew explores your body.
“Matt, please. Please please please” is all you could let out. Your brain getting all fuzzy with how turned on you are – Matthew latching on to your breast and Jiwoong burning holes into your skin with his stare, slowly palming himself through his pants. Matthew's touches leaves you with goosebumps, and you let out a loud groan when he swirls his tongue on your nipple. You want him to take his tongue elsewhere.
“Waited so long to touch you, so I’ll take my time.” You didn’t know Matthew had it in him to be a little mean. You wonder where the shy boy had gone as he shoves two fingers in your mouth, commanding you to suck. Pliant, eager to please, and hoping to cum, you do as you’re told. Sucking and swirling your tongue around his fingers. Matthew’s eyes darken and he removes his fingers from your mouth, a string of saliva following it. You’re drooling and about to cry, and with that Matthew couldn’t resist anymore - he thinks you're so cute looking all desperate.
He remembers the time where you left him hard on the couch, the night when Jiwoong was running late. You had teased him with bold statements, straddling him and whispering dirty things to his ear. In an act of revenge he manhandles you, flipping you over and placing your body atop his in a second. You're so far gone that you don’t register the change in position until you feel Matthew’s hot tongue on your clit. 
The first few licks, gentle. He’s testing how you’ll react. You’re whimpering like a puppy at this point, and chanting “please” like a broken record. He wastes no time in sucking harshly at your clit, gripping your thighs in place to prevent you from squirming or moving away. "Right there please, don't stop". Matthew wants to see you suffer the same way you did to him, and releases you from his grip ruining your impending orgasm. "ngh no, why?" you cry, gripping on to the headboard as support.
From across the room, Jiwoong chuckles "seems like Matthew's just getting his revenge from all your teasing last week baby". You look to Jiwoong, and hopes he can come save you. But he already knows what those eyes mean, and he's not going to give in so easily. "No baby. like I said if you want to be touched you'll have to convince Matthew."
You look at the younger boy and you feel small next to him. You swallow your pride, and beg one last time – "please sir, I'll do whatever you want. please just let me cum". Maybe it's the way you parted your swollen lips, quivering as you utter the word 'sir' that flicked a switch in Matthew. He's done trying to torture you, he wants you just as bad.
"Since you asked so nicely, I'll reward you" he says as he shoves two fingers inside you, thumb lapping at your clit. He finds that gummy spot inside you, and you shudder against his ministrations. You cum embarrassingly fast, and Matthew pinches at your clit mid-high, overstimulating you. You yelp, and fall limply on Matthew’s chest, shaking from the waves of your orgasm. 
Matthew’s fingers are coated with your arousal, and he sits you up properly to check on your previously limp figure. As if Jiwoong read his mind, “Y/n can you take more or are you done for the night?” Your head snaps, and you take a look at Matthew’s flushed face, his eyes hooded and cheeks red. Your post-orgasm brain is starting to clear up, and you want to thank Matthew properly. "I can take more" you say, determined.
You look down and find Matthew’s tent in his shorts, instantly feeling bad that you’re the only person in the room who got to cum. Undoing his zipper, you let out his cock and he hisses at contact of cold air. You make brief eye contact with Jiwoong, and he’s surprised too. While Matthew isn’t longer in length, he’s definitely girthier than what you’re used to. “Sir you’ve been so nice to me, let me repay the favor.” You hold his cock in your hand, and it spasms - precum leaking out. You begin stroking him gently and he throws his head back in relief. “F-fuck, y/n” he hisses. 
“Cmon baby, you’re the one that wanted Matthew in your bed, that’s the best you can do?” Jiwoong taunts. He’s right, you can do so much better. You didn’t plan on doing this, but you place yourself to straddle him – taking a glance at Jiwoong, as if asking permission that it would be okay. He nods gently to give you the validation that you need. 
“Y/N are you sur-'' Matthew's sentence is cut short as you sink down on him. Biting your lips to prevent yourself from groaning in pain – you’ll need adjustment to his size. He holds your hips steady, knowing that you’ll need some time before you both move. With you on his lap, eyes closed and breathing out slow breaths, he knows you’re trying your best to adjust quicker. Matthew wants to kiss you for trying so hard to make him feel good, but he knows that’s your boundary. 
Instead, he distracts the both of you by placing kisses on your neck, marking down to your breasts. He playfully and gently bites on your nipple, and that’s enough to bring you to reality. You start to bounce up and down his cock, moaning his name freely. His head is thrown back, though he has to remind himself to keep watching you –wanting to keep the image of you on his cock burned into his brain. Obscene squelches resonate throughout the room, your vision gets a little blurry as you lose sense of your surroundings. Matthew notices you slowing down, taking charge of the pace as he harshly thrusts into you as you sink down on him. You let out a loud moan, “Oh my god, do that again.” 
Then, Matthew remembers he’s not the only other person in the room. “Jiwoon hyung, you’re not going to join?”. You're still desperately grinding on to Matthew, and he halts your hips in order to reposition the both of you in favor of his hyung. Now, you’re on all fours. Jiwoong walks over to where your head is, he lifts your chin up with his finger and looks you in the eye. He has an unreadable look on his face – stoic, unfeeling. He is a good actor after all. So you suggest something that you know cheers him up each time.  
“Kiss me?” you ask, fluttering your lashes at Jiwoong. He leans down to your face, lips ghosting over yours before saying “only good girls get kisses”. Then, Jiwoong grabs your face by the jaw, forcing your mouth open. “You’ll take what daddy gives you” as he spits in your mouth. Immediately, you swallow. 
“Thank you daddy” you beam as you make yourself useful. Jiwoong looks somewhat satisfied as you reach down his pants to free his cock. You spare all the teasing as you know he's not in the mood for it, and take him wholly by your mouth. Jiwoong fucks your mouth mercilessly, tip hitting the back of your throat several times. Meanwhile, Matthew is still thrusting into you from behind. It takes extreme focus to keep at your task with Jiwoong, you don't wanna disappoint daddy.
It's getting increasingly difficult to stop yourself from gagging at Jiwoong's movements. After a particularly hard thrust from Matthew, you yelp, momentarily releasing Jiwoong from your mouth. “Faster Matthew, she can take it” Jiwoong commands. The younger obeys, and quickens his pace into you. Jiwoong forces your jaw open and inserts himself in your mouth once again. Your moans are muffled, sending vibrations to Jiwoong’s length. 
Based on your expression, Jiwoong knows you’re close. “Baby, are you gonna cum?” he fucks into your throat, and you gag as a response. Still, you keep him in your mouth, head bobbing and cheeks hollowing out. As you make good work at Jiwoong’s length, Matthew lets out a deep groan. That’s when you notice Matthew stilling in his place, pulling out and painting your ass cheeks in white. “Shit. fuck.” he curses under his breath. Matthew’s body limps as he rests against the headboard. 
With that, Jiwoong calls it off. “Aww, looks like play time’s over for both of you” Jiwoong states.
Jiwoong removes your hands and mouth from his length and pulls his boxers back up. “Wait, but you’re still hard, let me make you feel good daddy” you protest, but he’s stern when he looks at you. “I said, play time’s over, princess.” 
Again, you can't read that tone and that stoic face he has plastered on. You’re mostly confused, especially with the sudden lack of physical touch from well, any one. Daddy always lets you cum at least twice, so you try to bargain “but I didn’t get to cum for a second time...” Jiwoong looks down at you smugly, “I said Matthew could help you, not me. And by the looks of it, he’s in no position to help”. 
He’s right by the way, Matthew looks spent. You’re used to multiple rounds with Jiwoong, and Matthew’s endurance isn’t as high in that regard. Jiwoong throws Matthew his shirt and shorts, and tells him to clean himself up. Matthew mumbles something about having a great time, and he’s off to the shower. 
You’re left naked on Jiwoong’s bed as he fetches a glass of water. He reenters the room, water and washcloth in hand, and silently takes one of his shirts to clothe you in it. He hasn’t said anything else since Matthew left the room, and you wonder if this was a good idea at all. You’ve never had a threesome with any of Jiwoong’s close friends, and you have a feeling that it bothered him more than he thought it would. 
He’s wiping your thighs with a washcloth, when you take it from him. You look him in the eye when you ask “is something wrong, Jiwoong?”. He sighs loudly, comfortably taking a seat next to you. "Sorry I didn't let you cum" he looks really apologetic, ashamed even, with eyes glued to the floor. "It's okay, I still enjoyed it", reassuring that it's no big deal. In this moment, Jiwoong's feelings are more important.
"Can you tell me what's wrong?" you gently ask, wrapping your arms around his neck, trying to get him to look at you. Head down, as if physically paining him to admit “I think...I hated that, surprisingly I couldn’t stand seeing Mathew with you like that..didn't look like you needed me at all actually...” he trails off. He can’t seem to look you in the eye, so he places his head by the crook of your neck instead. You run your hands through his hair, “well thank you for thinking of me, but you didn’t need to push through with it if you weren’t comfortable with it, woong.” 
“I know, I know. I just thought I wouldn’t be bothered by it. This was never an issue before.” Jiwoong responds, pertaining to your past escapades with other people. He removes his head from your neck and looks at you, then your lips. You give him time to say something, but he doesn’t. 
“Let’s talk about it some other time, woong. I think we’re both tired.” He hums gently, agreeing with you. Again, he looks at your lips. With that, you lean forward and kiss him. You feel the tension in his shoulders and neck melt away at the kiss, and you open your mouth slightly for his tongue to enter. He pulls at your bottom lip, and you let out a small smile. 
“For the record Jiwoong, you don’t have to ask permission anymore if you want to kiss me. Kiss me whenever, wherever.” He’s slightly surprised, and he’s hoping that his happiness doesn’t show too much as presses his lips against yours again – but you can literally feel his grin as he kisses you sweetly.
Jiwoong’s bedroom door is still open, and Matthew watches as you and Jiwoong kiss each other with smiles on your faces. He has a feeling that what happened just a few minutes ago would be the first and last time. 
So, I guess Jiwoong does have a sharing problem after all. 
-- -- --
PART 1 HERE
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A/N: special mention to rose who fed me a few ideas!! also YEAH maybe Jiwoong does like Y/N that way
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314 notes · View notes
justtwotired · 7 months
Note
heyyy, how are you
I was wondering weather you could do a regulus x female reader with prompt 31. so they're both Slytherins and there's a lot of tension between them because they both like each other but are too scared to admit it and then they get into a stupid argument like over hw or a potions assignment and the reader says shut up and when she kisses regulus, he's shocked but pulls her back for another one.
srry that it's long lol
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Hi there! I’m great, thanks for the request, it took a while to reply, I’ve been rather busy, but here you are, I hope you’ll like it.
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“Reg, can you just focus on the assignment! We have to get it done because McGonagall will murder us if it’s not done today, we already got an extra week!” She says annoyed and he rolls his eyes.
They where in Reg’s dorm, finishing an assignment they chose to do together.
“We’ve been working for hours. I need a break from this stupid assignment, and from you!” He raised his voice slightly as he got up from his seat, Y/n also stood and followed after him.
“What do you mean a break from me? I’ve done nothing but make this assignment, while you just sat around not doing shit!” She says angrily and a bit hurt.
“You are the transfiguration genius, besides, you didn’t even let me touch a bloody quill! Saying you where writing everything!” He turns around and she narrows her eyes.
“Because it looks better if it’s in only one handwriting you blithering idiot! Not to forget I told you to keep reading the book to me, which you did not do!” She started raising her voice aswell.
Regulus grumbled something and then combed his hand trough his black curls for a moment in a rather stressful manner.
Though she was mad, Y/n couldn’t help but blush as she looked away quickly. Though she composed herself and continued.
“What? You have no excuses anymore? Honestly, Black, you should really learn how to finish a fight if you keep starting one.” She points out and he is at a loss for words for a moment.
“Oh I keep starting fights? It’s all my fault now? Obviously I’m going to start fights when you keep ordering me around, and then I want to stop and you still keep going!” He pointed an accusing finger at her as he took a step forward and she one back.
“Merlins balls, I really regret partnering up with you out of all people.” She grumbled, folding her arms over each other. “Should’ve just chosen Evan.” She mumbled, but he heard and he couldn’t help but grit his teeth and silently curse the blonde boy.
“Oh, of course, Evan would be a much better pick then ‘always starting fights Regulus Black’ maybe he would just rip the work in half in a fit of rage, or curse at you for doing something wrong!” He started another kind of fight and her head snapped towards him.
“Hey! Evan wouldn’t do that! What is wrong with you?” She took multiple steps his way and he stayed rooted in his place.
“Oh? What is wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?! You keep accusing me of all sorts of shit and it’s getting annoying, you know.” He yelled and she huffed.
“I’m accusing you because it’s true! There’s no reason to get mad at me for shit you did because I said it out loud!” She poked a finger in his chest and grabbed her wrist and narrowed his eyes.
“Stop.” He said and her angry frown turned into a confused one. “What?” She asked and he sighed. “I said stop, you’re being rather annoying.” He said and her frown became angry once again.
“Oh, I’m the annoying one? If you had listened to a word a I said the past few minutes, maybe you could realise I’m not the problem here!” She hissed angrily.
“Oh right, right, I remember, I was so annoying you would have rather done this project with Evan.” He pointed out and she rolled her eyes at the fact that’s the only thing he could remember.
Why was he even mad about that, was he jealous or something- holy crackers, he was! No, he is! He’s jealous, she couldn’t help but smirk as she thought it.
This smirk didn’t go unnoticed by Regulus and he squeezed her wrist bit. “Maybe I would’ve been better of doing the project with Marcella.” He snarled and her eyes traveled towards his and he saw the storm raging in them.
If there was someone is Slytherin house Y/n hated, it was Marcella, always one upping people, a huge pick me, and she was always over Regulus, talking to him, hugging him almost sitting on his lap.
She knew he was trying to make her jealous, and for Merlin’s sake, it worked.
“Shut up!” She said angrily and he raised his eyebrows. “What’s wrong?” He said mockingly. “I said shut up!” She repeated and he looked a bit surprised.
He was about to open his mouth but she leaned forward and caught him up in a kiss before he could start his sentence.
When she pulled away, he was surprised and most of all, flustered. “Once again, I said shut up.” She said with narrowed eyes. He blinked for a moment, but then he pulled her towards him and kissed her again.
She leaned into his touch and put her hands behind his neck while he put his own on her waist.
They pulled back and she smirked. “I can’t wait to see Marcella’s face when she finds out about this one.”
271 notes · View notes
thebottomfromhell · 9 months
Note
In regards to the post about reader dying in their arms, could I request something along the lines of once the upper moons die, reader was waiting for them so they could go to hell together?
Thank you!
Got it. This is also an interesting one since there would be [mentioned in some, to make my life easier] interactions with Koyuki, Daki and Shinobu. I would like to add that this last one wouldn't be a positive one, so sorry if you are a fan of Shinobu, but she is not liking reader so reader is not liking her neither.
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Uppermoon meets their male (tbh in this one is more GN, I just say male bc the other prev. ask was more explicit in the gender) demon S/O reader after dying before going to hell. Previous ask here. Also an incorrect quote inspired in the Douma hc.
Warnings: Manga Spoilers, A bit of angst (pk, maybe a tad more than a bit, but still), Mentioned dead/murder, Akaza and Douma have things going on with female characters, Gyokko and Douma are their own warnings, and Karaku starts making out with you the second he sees you.
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Gyutaro + Daki:
"Y/N! What is this place?! It's awful! Where is onii-chan?!" You hear a well known high pitched voice first, but the girl in front of you... you knew Daki was young, still a girl rather than a woman, when she was transformed, but this? She can't be older than fourteen. She looks so similar, and yet so different. Unlike you, she looks human and doesn't even seem aware of it. "Daki... stay close, we will find your brother." You say as you turn around, offering your hand whish she takes, feeling the light following you, almost heating up your back, as if telling you to hand over the girl to it. You only fix your grip as you look for Gyutaro in the nothing, and it doesn't take you that much to find him.
"Onii-chan!" Daki screams as she speeds up, still holding your hand to force you to do the same. It's a relief that Gyutaro looks the same as always, you missed that ugly face of his, as he puts his attention on his little sister as she complains and orders him to fix things. Then he looks at you. "Y/N... what are you doing here, ne?" You smile at him gently, he doesn't seem good, beyond the fact that he is dead. He looks... sad. "I was waiting for you, Gyutaro." You answer honestly as he turns around. "Make Ume go towards the light." Ume? Who is U- "What?! What do you mean?!" Oh......... oh...
You are still processing everything as the siblings fight, Gyutaro trying to scare Daki... Ume towards the light, saying hurtful things as she begs to not be left behind. Daki begging? It's just so wrong, but again... this is Ume, just a little girl that has the chance to not pay for more than a century of murder, in between other crimes. And she is the little sister of a young man who is nothing but willing to let her go in order to protect her, the same way he didn't hesitate to become nothing but an extension to her so she could get the lives she wanted and with him only there when she actually needs him. "You and I are not siblings anymore, you are nothing to me." "Gyutaro! We both know you don't mean that!" You have to shut him up after that, but he just sounds so defeated... "Daki, your Onii-chan wants to protect you, to have a better chance that we will. Do you want to go towards the light?" There is little to no people that asks them what they want, you were always the one to fix that.
Ume shakes her head as tears still fall from her face. "NO! I WON'T GO! IF ONII-CHAN DOESN'T GO THEN I DON'T WANT TO! HE PROMISED! HE PROMISED ME WE WOULD ALWAYS BE TOGETHER! HE PROMISED!" When Gyutaro turns around you already have her in your back, shutting her up by the surprise. "Take her hand, she will need her big brother by her side. I will take her there so you don't have to." So he doesn't have to feel the weight of being the one to bring his little sister, his beautiful child, to hell only because he doesn't have the strengh nor the ability to get her something better. "Ne... thank you, Y/N, for everything." He says as he takes her hand, and you step into the fire as she cries.
She probably doesn't even know why she is crying, but she is. You also tear a bit and when you look at your side, Gyutaro is crying too. It's the end, but at least you are together.
Gyokko:
You don't have to say anything, just smirk as you arch one eyebrow as Gyokko's head appears in your hands. "Hey, Gyokko. So you died too, huh?" He barely showed any sympathy towards you when you were dying, and honestly... this is karma. "Urg. Y/N, you will not believe the night I just had!" He inmediately starts complaining, just like the good old times. Honestly, you don't know how much time you spent sitting in the... ground? Is this even a ground? Still, it's nice, you even massage his scalp with your fingers as he goes on. Alive, he could do this for hours, but now there is no time, no real worries, not even the damned sun.
"And everything has been so stressful since you left. Everyone else lacks taste and talent, don't know how to do anything! For the enlightened, I really should have protected you better..." he remains in silence after that, making eye contact with you, as you atill process how to take it. It's a confession or regret? An apology? An "I love you"? None of them? All of them? It still manage to turn your smirk into a brave smile. "I missed you a lot, I didn't really expect you to die but... I guess I really hoped we could be like this once again." He also smiles at that, probably remembering your last conversation when you were dying.
"I also missed you, don't ever go on your own again." "Will you miss me?" You asked that day, and you got the answer you hoped for a second time. "I'm also glad you haven't changed a bit, you are the same as always. The demon I fell in love with." "I love you, Gyokko. Never change" you told him, and he still remembers, you can see that by his facial expressions. Did he think about you the same way you thought about him, you want to ask but at the same time... you know exactly where you are. "Your body is not regenerating." You point out and he sighs in frustration. "I will probably have a full body again the second we step into hell... " there is a pause there, Gyokko is probably as scared as you are to get in that place.
"You know? I remembered that my parents died when I was a kid, their corpses were just in front of me, but I could only feel fascinated by them. I wanted to keep them in the hallways to always be able to contemplate them, but I wasn't allowed. People don't understand the beauty of death, if you had left something behind I would have kept it." It makes sense, maybe because you are still like a demon, but it makes sense. Keeping those you hold dear close even after death, if you need a corpse to do so, so be it. So be it... you stand up, holding Gyokko's head against your chest, protecting it with your arms as you walk into hell. "You will also need a body for me to keep you around." He looks at you a bit surprised, but relaxes and laughes "Well then, I trust you."
Hantengu:
Hantengu inmediately starts a tantrum, throwing himself at the ground (can you even call it ground?) when he saw he was in front of the gates of hell, crying and screaming, trying to gain sympathy of beings that were not around. Just you, but he is so scared he hasn't noticed you yet. "Hantengu." You call him, making him turn around to see you before running straight towards you, hiding his hace in your chest as he wraps he arms around you to keep crying. "Y/N! Y/N! Oh, thank the gods you are here! Why are you in this awful place? It's so scary!" You pat his hunched back to comfort him as you smile, he hasn't changed one bit. "Hello to you too, Hantengu."
It's hard to say how long did you stay like this, Hantengu holds into you as if you were his last chance of salvation, but you were not able to even save yourself. The best you did was stay in this place, awful as he called it, to avoid stepping into hell. You know Hantegu's sanity, if there is any left, won't be able to handle the darkness and emptyness of this place. He is the first being you have seen in what it feels ages, and while you know having a dear face should make it easier... maybe the best is to keep going. Still, you only try to help him to feel better, not knowing how to voice out your opinion. "Please talk to me... say something, anything..."
So you talk, not of anything in particular, you tell him how much you missed him, how much you thought about him, how much you love him, as he rubs his face against you, looking for both physical and emotional comfort. You talk for an even longer time than he was crying, being listenes as he uses your voice as a medium to scape reality, to relax against you and pretend everything is fine. "And... Hantengu, I think we can't really stay here. Nobody is meant to be here." He sighs against you, keeping quiet before answering weakly. "I know, but it's so scary. Why must this happen to us? What did we do to deserve this?" You both know what you did.
You smile, ignoring Hantengu's attempt to fool everyone, himself included, that he's innocent. You only take one of his hands and put yourself behind him, covering his eyes with your free hand. "Do you trust me?" You asks as he trembles against your touch as you blind him, he has always been so paranoid... "I do." But you have always been his safespace, and so he leans on your hand as you guide him to hell, both of you together. There isn't much left to say, but it's ok... it's ok as long as you have your beloved by your side.
Sekido:
{You didn't say anything to Hantengu when you saw him and he doesn't notice you are there. What were you supposed to say? You were not with him, you were with one of his clones, who were just that. Clones, not their own individual, so none of them should have an existence besides Hantengu's Blood Demon Art. But he was not just a clone for you, he was the one you fell in love with, with his defects and quirks. The main body shrieks and cries, trying to hug the ground or whatever this is, not wanting to move on the same way you don't. The black smoke starts to cover him as you only think about your beloved, then you notice said smoke is actually covering him instead of passing as air. When you can hear Hantengu anymore you go where he was and manage to grab his arm to pull him up, only to find him instead.}
"Sekido?" You aske before recieving a hit in the face that makes you fall down, Sekido is clearly angry at you still. "YOU! YOU DIED! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE AFTER ALL YOU PUT ME THROUGH?! YOU LITTLE SHIT! FUCKING BASTARD!" He is still the one to grab you to help force you to stand up before hugging you. "Fuck you, Y/N.... fuck you.... I'm so fucking pissed with you. I told you to not leave." You start to feel the tears in your shoulder, there are so many questions of how this is possible, but for you, the only important thing is that you have Sekido in your arms as you hug him back tightly. "Why did you have to leave?"
You pat his back to comfort him, you didn't want to leave him neither. You genuinely thought you would never see him again and didn't want to go to hell until you came in terms with that. But Sekido is here, so you grab his face softly, tears still falling off his eyes as you go for a kiss. "I missed you too, Sekido. I'm glad I was able to see you again." You smile at him as he begins to curse and avoid looking at you, trying to hide his crying face. "I'm sorry for hurting you" you say even though you know he won't say it back, but your priority is to make him feel better, or at least good enough so he won't hit you again. "Whatever.... I missed you too."
There is a lot going on in your mind right now. Is Sekido real? Or will he turn back into Hantengu the second you both step into hell? The idea scares you, and a lot. You just got him back and you don't want to lose him just now, not yet. You don't even dare to ask, you just want to spend a bit more with Sekido. He notices eventually as you just hug him in silence, he inhales deeply before pulling apart. "You have been here long enough." He takes your hand to guide you to hell, but you refuse to follow. "We will go.... later.... right now can we stay together? Just cuddle?" He sighs tired before hugging you "Fine, we will stay here for a while, but we have to go to hell sooner or later. I'll just wait for you... to feel better about it. But we can avoid it forever." and you say everything you wanted back then but couldn't because of time. You will go to hell eventually, but right now you just want your Sekido in your arms.
Karaku:
{You didn't say anything to Hantengu when you saw him and he doesn't notice you are there. What were you supposed to say? You were not with him, you were with one of his clones, who were just that. Clones, not their own individual, so none of them should have an existence besides Hantengu's Blood Demon Art. But he was not just a clone for you, he was the one you fell in love with, with his defects and quirks. The main body shrieks and cries, trying to hug the ground or whatever this is, not wanting to move on the same way you don't. The black smoke starts to cover him as you only think about your beloved, then you notice said smoke is actually covering him instead of passing as air. When you can hear Hantengu anymore you go where he was and manage to grab his arm to pull him up, only to find him instead.}
"Karaku?" You ask before he takes softly the sides of you face to kiss you in this same position. He sucks into hour mouth as if he was a drunk with his favorite drink, hugging you as he wraps his free hand through tha back of your neck. He doens't pull apart for a while, but grins in a just so wholesome way when ge does. "Hey, hot-stuff~. It's been a while, hasn't it?" There are some tears accumulated in his eyes as he stands up and lunges forward to hug you again. "I missed you so much. You have no idea how glad I am to see you again." You really never thought you would see him again.
"I missed you too." He breathes in by the side of your neck before kissing you again, hungry for you as his arms remains wraped around your neck. There are slurping sounds as he slips his tongue in, making this as messy as he can, and you let him. As if you need this to prove that this is real, that Karaku is really here with you and is not leaving anytime soon. Maybe he also needs to convince himself that this is real, but the trail of saliva joining your tongues together definetely is. "Your kisses are still the sweatest." He says rubbing the liquids of both tears and saliva off his face before using his thumbs to do the same to you as you were to numb to do it yourself.
"What now?" You find yourself asking, because everything is so new and so scary. You don't want to lose Karaku again, and he seems to notice your fear, so he grins with confidence. "Well, Sekido would tell us to hurry up and go to hell, as we are supposed to be doing... but I'm not Sekido. I say we stay here for as long as you need, together." He kisses you again as be both start openly crying, none of you really know what you will do. Or if you even will ever be ready to go to hell... but you are together, chasing for a good time as always. There is no hurry, just enjoy the present if you think the future will take said gift away. Karaku will support you, so stay with him a little more.
Urogi:
{You didn't say anything to Hantengu when you saw him and he doesn't notice you are there. What were you supposed to say? You were not with him, you were with one of his clones, who were just that. Clones, not their own individual, so none of them should have an existence besides Hantengu's Blood Demon Art. But he was not just a clone for you, he was the one you fell in love with, with his defects and quirks. The main body shrieks and cries, trying to hug the ground or whatever this is, not wanting to move on the same way you don't. The black smoke starts to cover him as you only think about your beloved, then you notice said smoke is actually covering him instead of passing as air. When you can hear Hantengu anymore you go where he was and manage to grab his arm to pull him up, only to find him instead.}
"Urogi?" You barely manage to ask before he jumps over you, making you fall down in your ass, wraping his arms and legs around you (around your neck and around your waist, like he used to do), using his wings to shield you both from everything. "Y/N! Y/N! YOU'RE HERE! YOU ARE ACTUALLY HERE!" He digs his talons into your skin as he digs his face in your neck, just under you jaw so you are careful with his head, speacially his horns. You can feel him smelling you as if yo make sure you are... there? That you are you? It's hard to tell, but you hug him back, just relieved you got to see him again. "Hey birdie. It's nice to see you. I missed you a lot."
He pull apart slightly to look at you, his face is full of tears as he keeps smiling. "I really missed you too. I missed you a lot. I missed you a million times!" He rambles, repeating phrases and making some expressions he probably doesn't understand as much. He is really all over you, crying and with knots in his nose, not caring of how he looks or if he gets any fluid over you, just that you are finally there after you left. "I love you so much. I don't want you to go like that again, ever. Promise me you won't leave again. Promise!" You can't help but chuckle, it's almost like a child making a tantrum. He is not behaving that different from a dog welcoming it's owner back home after this one left for more than a day. It's cute, but Urogi has always been cute to you.
But you can't help but fear... will you be able to keep that promise, if you make it, once you cross the path into hell? You are just so happy that you have Urogi right here, right now, and Urogi clearly feels the same way about you. But... will it end? Do you want to risk it? Of couse no, you know that you will have to go to hell eventually... "Baby bird... fill me up with what happened since the last time we have seen each other. I want to hear you talk and make up for lost time. Here and now..." he giggles as you rub the liquids off his face, nuzzling against your hands. You kiss his cheek "And once we are ready... will you fly me to hell?" His wings stand up at that, if he realized your fears you have no idea. "Yeah, we have a lot to make up. Specially that las flight! I'll give you the best flight ever after we finish!" He cuddles with you, and you hope it takes the longest time for him to give you what could be again the last flight.... just a little more, you want him for yourself... a little more.
Aizetsu:
{You didn't say anything to Hantengu when you saw him and he doesn't notice you are there. What were you supposed to say? You were not with him, you were with one of his clones, who were just that. Clones, not their own individual, so none of them should have an existence besides Hantengu's Blood Demon Art. But he was not just a clone for you, he was the one you fell in love with, with his defects and quirks. The main body shrieks and cries, trying to hug the ground or whatever this is, not wanting to move on the same way you don't. The black smoke starts to cover him as you only think about your beloved, then you notice said smoke is actually covering him instead of passing as air. When you can hear Hantengu anymore you go where he was and manage to grab his arm to pull him up, only to find him instead.}
"Aizetsu?" "Y/N?" He just makes eye conctact with you for some seconds before standing up properly. "Hi... It's good to see you.... it's been a long time..." He says shyly, playing with his sleeves, and you just have to wrap your arms around him and dig your face on the side of his neck. "Aizetsu!" He instantly husg you back tightly, none of you let the other go, Aizetsu even lets some tears fall down into your shoulder. "I missed you so much. What happened? Are you ok? How are you here?"
Aizetsu doesn't answer for a while, he lets some more tears fall before rubbing them off his face, calming down, before speaking back to you. "I don't know how, we fused into Zohakuten when it happened, but... we died. Please don't feel... bad about it, I wasn't even aware it happened until I woke uo here. I do feel sad for Zohakuten and Hantengu, though..." he explains as sensible as he can, as always. "I just know my last thoughts, even if I couldn't physically have them, were about you, and suddenly you were actually there, pulling me from... I don't even know from what." That only leave one question. "Will you dissapear back into Hantengu once we cross hell?"
There are some minutes of silence before he answers "I don't know, sorry." He looks away, clearly uncomfortable with his own answer, wishing it was different. "Don't apologize. Maybe we could just... stay here... for a little longer." You cup his face in your hand as you offer the idea, having Aizetsu nodding. He closes his eyes and makes a pout with his lips, clearly asking for attention, so you give him a soft kiss. You can stay together for a little longer, hopefully you won't separate in hell... but your now you both just want each other, before the chance of never seeing the other again, this time for real. "Please more. Kiss the sadness away." You were never able to say "no" to Aizetsu.
Nakime:
After Nakime, you knew a thing or two about patience. For her, for music, for goals... you knew how to be patient. But now you were not being patient, with her Infinity Castle and her role on his (still scary to even think it out loud, even if you are already dead) side, you just never thought she would die. You were just... lost, not knowing what to do anymore, not really wanting to step into hell of all places, when she arrived. "Oh my- Nakime? Wha- How are you here?!" She looks at you, just as surpirsed, when you run to her side.
"I..." she starts softly, still as elegant as ever, even when she looks... defeated. "I'va lost..." How? Against who? No matter how hard you try, you can't even phantom how anyone would survive a fight against her interdimentional fortress. She can control it as her will, smashing anyone against walls and rooms, locking up others for as long as she wants, get the ones around to the other side of the castle with one note... nobody us supposed to defeat that. That is why he prefered her as his right hand instead of making her an Uppermoon the second he stablished the Kizuki. Because she was too important, too powerful, to something else to be put with his best fight hounds. It takes you a little to calm down before talking to her. "Do you want to talk about it?"
You give the most gentle and soft voice you have, just like you she never thought she would be able to die. Nakime looks so lost, so confused, maybe even scared without her fortress shifting at her will, protecting from everything and anything. You take her hands in yours as she slowly regains confidence to tell you everything, how the Hashira got into the castle the same time she got careless as he gave her his favor after she was the one to find their base. She became confident as she managed something not even Kokushibou and Akaza could do after more than two hundred years of searching. "I could... should have killed them with one cord.... but I let them sneak into me with the help of some.... random traitor..." You kiss tha back of her hands to comfort her.
You stay like this for a while, both of you knowing you must go to hell right now. You can feel the itch to move on, nothing compared to the crave od hacing her near that you felt since you fell in love with Nakime. "You did your best. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." She only shakes her head, clearly not wanting to talk about your own death. You just smile at her "Do you want to finish the journey? Or would you like to stay here a little longer?" She only looks at you for some seconds before walking to hell, still holding one of your hands. Even now you are the one following her, and you wouldn't want it any other way. "I love you, Nakime." Ypu day as you both step into the fire, she answers after a while. "I love you too, Y/N."
Akaza:
Just after you died you stayed in the fine line in between heaven and hell, not being properly able to move on, just like Akaza never did. The surprising part was that there was already someone there, waiting for him. A petite young girl, no older than 16 when she died, Koyuki. She was Akaza's, Hakuji's fiance, and wants to see him again. "Do you really think he will get here? He is Uppermoon Three and the reason there is a Kizuki system. There is no way he will die to the hands of slayers." You were partially right, he didn't die at the hand of slayers. He died at his and Koyuki's.
"Akaza?" You found him crying in her arms. You didn't take part in his defeat, you never would, no matter how much you wanted to see him again. You also wanted him to live. Maybe that is why Koyuki didn't, because the one alive was Akaza instead of Hakuji. "Y/N... you still look like a demon..." he looks torn between both of us, and you can't help but glance at his fiance. She won't go to hell like you both will, and even if she could sneak to it, she would not survive as good as you both could. You are his demon love and she is his human love, one was meant for heaven and another for hell. "I am a demon Akaza, or should I call you Hakuji?"
He looks at his human arms. In the end he chose to die for her instead of living for you. "I will head over to the dark, go when you are ready. I will be waiting, but she has already waited enough for you." You don't want to accept he is dead yet, he had long road to go. What about defeating Douma? Kokushibou? To be the stronger? That was his goal, a simple one but a goal you always supported him with, and that support was everything you left to him. But it doesn't matter anymore, as always, you just want his happiness. "Ok... ok... I'll meet you there.... I love you."
You smile at him and nod, you will say it back after you meet again. If you do... for now, you walk into hell by your own, as you should have all those years ago. Maybe it would be the best if he stayed as Hakuji, maybe is he stays here enough time he could. "Take your time." You are not saying goodbye, even if it feels like one. But you know by Koyuki he was already forcefully taken away from his human life and love, and you always supported him. No stopping now. You love him too much for that, so again, you will wait for something that is not meant to come. "Akaza..."
Douma:
"Who the fuck are you?" You really need to curse right now. You stayed to be able to watch over Douma, sooner or later you should be able to have a glimpse lf something, and you knew he would kill a lot of people, but this is the first time anyone just pops out of nowhere in front of you. A Hashira of all humans, a short and young woman with a fake smile and a venomous gentleness. You can tell inmediately she despises you, and honestly? You are on the same page. Such a polite tone for sarcastic insults and toying with you, parts of you wants to kill her. "What the FUCK?!" You curse again when Douma's head also suddenly appears.... in front of her.
"Oh, hi Y/N!" It's all he says with those fake smiles of his and what- Why- HOW the FUCK is he here? He is Upper Two! Did he eat too much human food?! Did he step on the sun because he was bored?! You can't phantom what happened as that gets you worked up as you take his head away from her as the damn Hashira starts a monologue you don't give a damn about. "Douma WHAT happened?!" To what he smiles sheepishly "Oh, I was poisoned by that lovely woman over there and beheaded by a talented girl and Kotoha's son, Inosuke. Do you remember them? She was extrmely dumb but a sweetheart, and his son was just adorable, he has her face and eyes. But let me tell you, the girl was very rude." Inosuke? You barely remember him, it has been 14 years, but you do remember Kotoha. Douma adored her and she was a sweetheart. From the fact that that baby is alive to that Douma got decapitated, it's all too much to sink in at once.
The Hashira doesn't seem too happy to be ignored, so clears her throat and you let her finish her monologue, mostly because you are still processing everything Douma just told you. Then you snap out of it when you hear "I think I'm in love with you.", you turn and see he meant the Hashira... really? This woman? He didn't say this to Kotoha, but to her he does? "How about you come to hell with me?" Now you press his face against your chest as you turn to dhoield it with your body in disgust "No!" Thankfully, she looks as she hates the idea as much as you and sends Douma to fuck himself before leaving, if to heaven or hell, you have no idea, but she leaves you both alone.
"Douma?" You move his head, holding it gently, to your face level to make eye contact. "You have never been jealous before, did I make you uncomfortable?" You just chuckle as you shake your head. "You did make me uncomfortable." You admit, making him lose his smile, showing an empty face, just like the last time you saw him. "Sorry, it wasn't my intention. But what are you doing here? Don't tell me you were waiting for me." You can only nod at that, making him sigh as he laughs "Wow, you are as dumb as Kotoha. You could have stayed waiting forever like an idiot. That sounds boring, and you should now I wouldn't want that for you." You laugh with him, you are an idiot, you know that as you walk him to hell as you both talk. This is a better way to go down. "A lot has happened since you left, things have been emptier since that... I'll fill you up."
Kokushibou:
You will be honest, even though you were waiting... you really didn't expect Kokushibou to die, much less so soon. And yet the familiar three pair of eyes make tou freeze. What is he doing here? There is no way he actually died, is it? Uppermoon One? The most powerful Demon after the first one to exist? You don't even know what to say, if you should say something, more convinced this is an illusion caused by how much you miss Kokushibou that the chance that he is actually here. It's just not possible, that is why you are here instead of hell, because it wouldn't make a difference since in neither case you would see him again. You were not waiting, yearning yes, but not waiting. "Y/N." He is the dirst one to say anything after a while of uncomfortable eye contact.
It is his voice, but you still can't react. It's. Not. Possible. You rub your eyes thinking Kokushibou will dissapear, getting frustrated as he doesn't, on the opposite, Kokushibou walks closer to you. You tense as he is just three steps away from you, then holds your head, just the same way he did to secure you in his lap as you were dying. "Kokushibou?" You have to ask, and he seems pleased to be recognized by you. "What happened?" You really have to ask, because you still can't phantom how did he get here, with you, to the dead ones. He evades your gaze, clearly not wanting to talk about it. "It doesn't matter, I'm glad of seeing you again." You still don't know how to react. Kokushibou died, he actually died.
"Are you ok?" Is all you can ask after some moments of silence, usually you were the one talking between the two, and for the first time since you started your relationship, you don't know what else to say. He looks at you firmly after you asked, also not saying anything, just giving a deep sigh. "Yes... I wanted this." He says, but you know better than to believe that. "Don't lie to me, or even try to lie to yourself in front of me." You can tell, he never wanted any of this. He didn't want to die, he never wanted to die, even as demons you could tell, he feared death, but it was something none of you had to worry about. Until you died, and until now.
"I still need... time to think. I have been doing everything wrong for a long time... I will be better... maybe." Maybe... you really don't know what to make of that, but he offers his hand to you. "We should get going." You can see Kokushibou trembling, he is actually scared to cross... whatever this is. Only because of that is that you actually take his hands and walk before him, guiding him to hell. There is still a lot to think about... but you will have time later. "I missed you." You say as you fix your hold as you both walk through the flames, when you turn around Kokushibou seems fixated by them, to the point you don't know who is he talking to. "I missed you too."
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idolomantises · 1 year
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talking abt that one thing in velma thats on my mind a lot for the past few days (that turned into a big incoherent rambling about gay rep in media)
i'm seeing jokes about how the queer representation in mystery inc being so much better than the queer representation in velma and honestly it makes me want to go on a whole tangent about my thoughts on queer representation nowadays vs the more subtle examples decades prior.
There's this weird debate that goes on online about what is "good" queer representation, and one of the most notable and honestly annoying examples is that queer representation has to be so subtle that you could easily miss it/ignore it. i've always hated that take because its a claim mostly said by straight people who are uncomfortable with seeing characters who are openly queer and/or state their identity, but they present it as some sort of push for subtle and nuanced writing. personally i do prefer it when a character just, identifies as how they are without explaining their identity, but that doesn't mean flat out explaining your orientation is inherently bad representation. its why i will always defend the very clunky and awkward high guardian spice scene. it is absolutely poorly directed and written, but that doesn't make it "bad representation". however, I do consider the character who explains that he's trans bad representation because he is flat, uninteresting and very clearly a creator self insert. he doesn't feel like a well rounded character who's also a trans man, but just an incredibly sanitized example of trans representation.
i have many, many issues with helluva boss/hazbin hotel and i do genuinely find some depictions of queer characters just flat out offensive (you can argue with me about how angel dust being written like your average 90s gay stereotype is woke actually because he has trauma, i dont care), but i do admire and appreciate that the series doesn't want to sanitize its queer characters, even if its done poorly. though i could go into a whole rant about how i find it very telling that female characters that are queer are far less sexualized or allowed to be problematic compared to their queer male counterparts.
anyways back to velma. that show does something that i've always found pretty irritating in queer representation which is just this weird lack of faith in its audience. characters can't have a slow burn anymore. internalized thoughts, anger, frustration, longing. you have to immediately know that two characters are gay for each other, even if they're lifelong enemies. its like when modern horror movies open with the gore because they're scared people are going to be bored or leave early. there's no subtlety or chemistry between daphne and velma, they're just lovers because idk, its two girls who hate each other and who doesn't love that.
then i think about how mystery inc handled velma and her sexuality, how she was allowed to be well rounded and nuanced before you slowly realize that "oh, she doesn't like boys". i know her whole thing with shaggy is controversial among fans but i always loved how she does do something pretty unlikable but not immoral. yeah, it is shitty to force shaggy to choose between her and his dog, but i can understand her line of thinking and empathize with her. and i do like how they become friends in the end despite their awkward break up. It's always fun rewatching it and realizing that their incredibly awkward and cringe relationship was meant to be awkward and cringe. it was supposed to be weird and difficult to watch, because those two weren't meant to date each other. you could see how hard velma was trying to make the relationship work despite the fact that you never get the vibe that either character was full invested in it, unlike daphne and fred's relationship.
then you had velma and her relationship with marcie, which started off as sort of a catty rivalry (not full on attempted murder, i mean holy shit hbo velma) that slowly grows to where you're completely convinced that these two did gradually like each other. and i do really enjoy stuff like that, more subtle writing like that. which doesn't just apply to queer rep btw, my favorite ships are relationships that feel understated, something you have to really dig for and pay attention to. its why i consider bubbline the best f/f representation in cartoon. because its subtle, but not too subtle where it feels out of no where when they kiss, and nuanced in ways that enhances the relationship AND characters.
there's a good amount of relationships i see in cartoons where the creator, who is usually queer themselves, often wants to depict queer relationships, but is weirdly adverse to depicting the uglier aspects of that character, and refuses to add subtlety to it. steven universe is a show i've always felt conflicted on its handling of queer representation because on the one hand i appreciate writing lesbians that are messy, traumatized and make constant mistakes. but on the other hand, the show goes out of its way to ignore these issues and/or make excuses for it, making the decision to make these characters messy and complicated genuinely baffling (this is also one of the big issues i have with catradora and stolitz).
it makes me think back to my own work too. i really enjoy making fluffy, easily digestible gay content for my followers and myself because it puts me in a good headspace. But even now and then i like exploring those little nuances too, because i don't really enjoy stories with little conflict. Because of that acknowledgement of how satisfying it is to write fluffy, queer rep, you end up putting yourself in other creator's shoes. you're so used to media that either dehumanizes gay people or tells people that they don't exist that you push yourself to make the most in your face queer rep you can but its at the cost of an interesting and subtle characters. characters that don't really have arcs or places to learn and grow.
With bugtopia i made a joke about how i want some of my queer rep to feel like you're being queerbaited. It's not literal, obviously, but mixed in with characters who are already married and in same gender relationships, i really want to write dynamics that feel subtle enough for a bit of a slow burn. even if you know they're going to end up together, to at least value the characters on their own before centering them on their relationships. queerbaiting is something that deserves all the criticism it can get, but it is embarrassing when queerbaiting feels genuinely more interesting than actual queer rep because queerbaiting has that factor of "maybe they won't get together" that adds that bit of intrigue, vs so many shows that repeatedly hammer in your head "don't worry guys, they're gonna be lesbian lovers".
mystery inc (and many other shows) being forced to keep a relationship obvious while subtle to get through censorship really forced creators to be creative with their storytelling and not center characters around their relationship and identity. but nowadays i think shows like to take the easy way out. for me, i always thought the most impactful example of queer representation in steven universe is "Rose's Scabbard". I genuinely don't enjoy that episode because it's a good example of the show thinking that trauma is an excuse for shitty behavior, but i cant deny that an entire episode of pearl breaking down and finally accepting that she wasn't the center of rose's world. it's the crew being forced to be creative and push through censors to telling a compelling story about a traumatized lesbian slowly realizing that she basically deluded herself into thinking she was someone's savior.
I think it's silly to try to place good queer representation in one box. like subtle queer rep is good, but also queer rep where a character flat out states that their gay. where I think it falls apart is when it either reinforces stereotypes without properly deconstructing or expanding on them, makes the characters so overly kind and non-controversial that the relationship is just boring, or try to make your messy and complicated characters but the narrative refuses to hold them accountable or at least acknowledge that they're doing something wrong. and to clarify on that last part, i'm not asking for some hays code nonsense where every bad person goes to prison and/or promises to stop being a bad person again. i mean the narrative doesnt just fucking sugarcoat their behavior. i don't want to see helluva boss ignore the fact that stolas made blitzo call him out for only using him for sex and then pathetically rush to justify their relationship by giving them a bizarrely sanitized and sweet backstory. and i don't want to see catra literally end the fucking universe and only do something good because she's straight up out of options and the show just decides that that was her redemption and she doesn't need to do anything to atone for what she did (including repeatedly abusing and verbally berating adora).
anyways velma has none of those interesting qualities and i'm pretty sure daphne and velma kissed because the creator is a weird pervert who thinks two girls kissing is hot.
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Coward
Pairing: Robby Keene x female! adopted! Moskowitz! reader
Summary: Honestly, just the most angsty shit I've written in a while.
Genre(s): angst,angst, and more angst.
Warning(s): I'm only following the show's timeline from season 1 to the first half of season 4. They're Taylor Swift/Billie Eilish/other depressing artists coded, more specifically "No time to die", "My tears ricochet", "I love you", "The Archer", "Afterglow", "Line without a hook", "All too well" "That way", "You broke me first", "The Great war", and the list goes on and on so just pick your poison.
Taglist: @rafecameronswhore @barbiekatz @l-o-v-r-s @kaitieskidmore1 @rosepetalsparks join taglist here
A/N: QUICK DISCLAIMERS, I made the reader adopted bc clearly Eli's/Hawk's family is white so this way the reader can be a poc if that's the case, I started this back when S4 came out and just finished it... what does that say about me? Idk. ALSO, Robby's S4 era will always be superior, Robby from S4 you will always be famous, he was unhinged, hot, a menace, and iconic, in this essay I will-
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Gif credits to whom they belong
𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚗
REQUESTS CLOSED
THIS IS NOT FREE USE, YOU CAN NOT USE MY WORK
Reblog if you like
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The All Valley's karate rivalry was as old as time, as strong as god's will, and in your opinion, as stupid as it sounds; not to everyone though, especially your brother, the great and mighty Hawk who loved to parade around the city with his new look that carried every piece of confidence he had, unfortunately, now that it was taken away from him, he felt worthless.
You never had a thing against any of the participating parties in this ridiculous dispute, you didn't mess with them, and they didn't mess with you, but you had a limit whenever they attacked your brother, a tiny fine line that went from 'superficial wounds' to 'profound damage' and they crossed it. More like, Robby 'cute face' Keene, crossed it. Even though there was a 98% chance that your brother had brought this on himself, he was still your brother and you'd do anything for your family.
You pushed the glass doors storming into the empty section of the building and hearing them slightly vibrate behind you, "Keene," your voice was stern, no response, "Keene!" 
"Back here!" He yelled from the back room.
The stride of your heels resounded in every corner of the concrete, a strong, dominant, and potent tone that could easily make anyone even slightly fearful. And Robby Keene wasn't the exception, no matter how many times Sensei Reese and Sensei Silver prepared him to be a champion, no matter how many hours he had proven to be Cobra Kai's worthiest inheritor, no matter how much muscle mass he gained by the minute, no matter how many days he spent in prison, no matter how many people he'd fought, no matter how many kids in the valley were scared of him, everyone has a weakness, and you were one of his.
There wasn't something in this world he could hate more than that because it didn't make sense, it didn't make any fucking sense for you of all people to hold so much power over him after everything that happened, there was an evident reason behind esteeming the adults around him, some of the other students even, but you? What else were you if not a lovely face? The most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his life, he knew the answer, a little too well for his liking, and as much as he hated it, the fact that you were so out of reach made him want you more.
But he pretended, okay? Oh, he loved, adored even, to act all tough and cocky around you as if you couldn't break his entire facade into little pieces if you so much as softened your features for him, a minimal act he thought he'd never see again, and still, he'd imagined it, he'd daydream about it almost every time you were near him, which with the new tournament coming up, seeing you became more and more recurrent, and so, it didn't get easier to hate you, in fact, the more he saw you, the harder it got.
If and only if you were held at gunpoint, you'd admit that the boy was attractive, pretty even, mostly because you would be sentenced to death by your family or hanged for treason by your brother's friends, but also because confessing to like him meant confessing you liked the guy who for better or for worse, ended up in juvie, and it was something that you didn't wanna be linked with.
You didn't have to say it to know that after all, you were still genuinely captivated by his physique and attitude, the way he carried himself everywhere he went, his ability to make himself seen without saying a word, how he wasn't easy to overlook; maybe it was just you who noticed his presence so intensely, perhaps you convinced yourself the rest of the world did as well just so you wouldn't feel so pathetic by the fact that you couldn't ignore him. And in the attempt to make your life easier and 'problem-free' by neglecting your feelings, it backfired by raising the complicity lever of your desires.
"What can I do for you, Princess?" he didn’t bother to turn around perhaps you’d go quickly so he didn’t have to train his self-control, not again.
If you were in a different mood, you would've rolled your eyes at the little nickname you despised so much, he gave it to you not only to point out that your economical status was clearly higher than his, but also to remind the 10-month-old age gap between you and your brother, a small amount of time that doomed your life to always be put under him, to your family, he was going to grow to be a King, the one who was gonna inherit every important part of their heritage, and you were stuck to be only that, a Princess.
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't put your ass back in jail?" You fumed, irritation blurring out your judgment.
"Because legally, I did nothing wrong, and even if I did, you have no proof of it," he grinned.
"Then explain to me what the hell is wrong with you?!” you spun him by his shoulder,  “You really thought you could just casually shame my brother by cutting his hair and I wouldn't come here to defend him?!"
"You mean the same hair that made him think he could be a bully?" he remained calm.
"You know damn well I never agreed with that," you spat, "Do I need to remind you he was suspended for a week because I went to the principal? And regardless of that, you wanna complain about him making others feel less with violence while you do the same?" you scoffed,  "Wow," you stated with sarcasm.
"It's hair, it'll grow back,"
"You humiliated him! You made him nothing! Not to mention you used a barber's blade, idiot, did you think about how fucking dangerous that was? You could've seriously injured him if he made the wrong move!"
"I warned him, good thing he knows how to listen, he’s not as stupid as he looks," he taunted you more.
You shook your head, "You're gonna listen to me Keene, and you're gonna listen to me very carefully," you got close to him, "If you even so much as breathe in his direction before the tournament, I will end you,"
He chuckled, "Is that supposed to be a threat?"
"No, only cowards like you and your minions make threats, mine is a promise,"
"I'm not a coward," he clenched his jaw holding back the increasing anger.
You laughed, and somehow said more than words could.
"Says the one who came here when it was all alone knowing that if it wasn't, you would've gotten your ass beaten,"
"By who? Your little friend who's on probation?” you tilted your head with an arrogant smirk, “No, you see, I came here at this time because I'm smart, I mean let's be honest, you've never done anything to hurt me and you never will, because… well," you raised your shoulders feeding the fire in his eyes.
"So what? Do you want me to hurt you to prove that I'm not?" he towered over you.
You nodded, "Yes," you took another step towards him, "But then again, you don't want me to win, do you? Because if you hurt me, then that means you care about what I think,”  your voice got slower, “and what would that say about you? True winners don't have to prove anything to anyone but themselves, that's the difference between all of you and me," you separated from him slightly, "But go ahead, make my day and land the first punch,"
He froze in his place processing your words and just barely he noticed he missed your closeness, he couldn't bring himself to do so, pushing down the consuming rage that, later on, would show up stronger when Silver and Kreese find out about this encounter.
"That's what I thought," you scrunched your nose,  "You karate nerds are so stupid, who needs to get physical when you have words?" you told more to yourself, and right when you were about to make, what you considered, a triumphal exit, your arm got yanked, your chest hit him, and your faces were less than an inch away, "What are you doing?" you whispered.
The vulnerability of your words and the fragility of your look melted him, for a split second he lost track of his purpose, but it wasn't until he remembered your words that he snapped out of the trance, "Hurting you," he whispered back before placing your lips on his.
It didn't take long for his action to hitch your respiration, stun your nerves, fill your veins with adrenaline, whisk your logic, and for you to correspond. It was embarrassingly quick if to be completely honest, but it didn't matter, frankly, you were so unashamed of it that your hands slipped behind his neck pushing the two of you impossibly closer. It was hungry, desperate, and frantic; you finally understood Adam and Eve no matter how much you hated religion, finally comprehended the temptation of the forbidden fruit, sweet, delicious, and addictive.
Instinctively, he gently pushed you against the nearest wall and you felt his fingers getting lost in your hair, "I don't need to use a lot of strength to hurt you," he pulled you away trying to recover his breath, "I'm gonna hurt your pride by making you moan my name,"
"Easy there, snake boy," you managed to gasp out as you trailed your fingertips fastidiously along his jawline whilst slightly lifting his chin, "What makes you think you won't moan mine," you weren't ready to let your guard down, not yet, you then switched positions holding his shoulders against the cement. In an act of pure selfishness, you softly cupped his face somewhat catching him off guard, his nose brushed yours as your top lip created contact that was so minimal it could almost be imperceptible, "Nice try,  Keene, but unfortunately for you, I don't fuck losers," you mumbled, although you could've said it in a more impactful tone, you knew, you knew that the intimacy of it all would make your words burn into the very depths of his soul.
You walked out of the Dojo quite easily with him as perplexed as a Marmol statue, the catch was having to drive around the city to cool off your system and release the tension of it all. However, it didn't work, not even a little bit, not even at all, your mind played every different scenario of the continuation of your reckless actions, it was your fault, and you had to accept it, you went to face him knowing damn well how you felt for him, you went knowing damn well he wouldn't just back down easily, knowing he would've put up a fight one way or another, you knew deep inside you, you knew this could happen, you wanted it to happen. 
It was inevitable, your brother was just the perfect excuse and you used it, you took advantage of it, you abused it even, he begged you not to do anything and you didn't care enough to listen, you just had to see him, you had to confront him after almost a year of holding back. 
You met him while he was still working for the LaRussos, Daniel and your mom had known each other since college, so whenever they began a conversation, no one could stop them or be part of it; on that occasion, you two were invited for dinner, you brother naturally skipped it, but you were forced to go. You couldn't really complain, Sam was nice company at times, and you would mostly gossip about school or complain about teachers, nothing too deep; however, it even amazed you how rapidly you connected with Robby. Was your entire conversation from that night centered on making fun of the adults? Yeah, but you couldn't stop cackling the entire time. After that, whenever you saw each other you two resumed that same chemistry, constantly coming up with inside jokes or witty comments regarding your family, friends, possible love interests, etc. It then patiently evolved into a solid friendship by revealing heavy details of both of your lives; other types of sentiments involved or not, there was a time when all you had was each other. 
But the school fight changed everything, Hawk had a personal vendetta against the person who put one of his best friends in a coma, and you... you were scared, not furious, not bitter, just terrified. Of him, your brother and his friends, Sam, everyone that had to go through the aftermath of it all; you burned all of those bridges, gasoline and everything, changed schools in a different part of town, shut down that part of your life. You couldn't afford to give your family another reason to put you under. 
"Y/N,  could you stop procrastinating and do something productive?” your mother interrupted your thinkings, “I gotta take this call, take care of them for a minute," she pointed at the waiters.
"Oh, yeah, sure, I- I'll watch them," you answered.
She stepped away.
You huffed scanning the restaurant your family proudly called theirs, it was a second home, warm, comfy, filled with known people, and although you couldn’t make sense of it, you’d always perceived the hazy calmness through the chaos. 
There was something hardly recognizable besides the door, at first glance your eyes overlooked it, but as you double-checked your body tensed and your eyes widened so much you were sure they were gonna pop out, he was here.
The last time he showed up at the business was the night before the incident, your parents had conveniently gone to a business dinner and your brother had no intentions on getting out of the house with his hangover, and like every other time he'd been there, you two would steal food from the kitchen, go up to the rooftop and talk about nothing and everything.
Flashback
"And now Mr. LaRusso doesn't wanna have anything to do with me," his voice weakened.
"Oh my god, Robby," you wasted no time in hugging him tightly, "I'm sorry," 
He nuzzled in the crook of your neck sparking something in your gut, you never failed to react to the crumbs of intimacy you always had. His eyes began to water, tears falling into your shirt.
"It's okay, it's okay," you comforted him, both of your torsos gently swinging.
"It hurts so much," he sniffled, "Why does it hurt so much?" it might've sounded a little too melodramatic, perhaps absurd, but he wasn't afraid to be like that, vulnerable, not with you, you never gave him a reason to be.
You pursed your lips, your throat was dry, you were speechless although you'd never been the quiet type, and all you could do was hold him even tighter, a subtle yet relevant symbolism that reminded you that was the closest you could get.
"Why does everyone always leave?" he let the question settle into the breeze although it felt more personal.
It broke you to see him like this, no pain you've ever felt was comparable to seeing he whom you love miserable, there was nothing else you could do but be there, though you didn't think it was nearly as enough as what he needed, "I- I don't know," you couldn't tell if you were lucky to have never experienced such experience, or misfortunate to not have said wisdom to heal him. You cautiously cupped his face, as if one of your movements could hurt him more, he was like stained glass, complicated, fractured, fragile, and yet, his cracks and colors made him the most beautiful soul you’ve ever met "I won't leave you," you ran your thumbs through his cheeks, drying the small showings of his pain.
"You promise?"
"I promise,"
End of flashback
You tried not to draw too much attention to yourself while jogging towards the entrance, "What the hell are you doing here?" you blurted out.
"I wanna talk to you," he seemed happy, probably because of how fearful you, on the other hand, were.
"You- you can't be here right now, I'm not messin' around," you shook your head, you had to react as discreetly as possible.
"Why? Your brother isn't here,"
"It's not just my brother, okay? My family will kill you on sight, please, listen to me," you grabbed his shoulders, "We can't talk, not here,"
"Where then?"
"I-" you looked around making sure your mom was still in her office, "Do we really have to do this right now?" you insisted.
"Yes," he stated firmly.
You pinched the bridge of your nose, "Okay, come on," you pulled his hand with a strength that wasn't necessary.
You entered the tiny meetings room on the other side of the establishment, because of your dad's usual tantrums, it didn't have a camera and it was sound-proofed; you made sure to lock the door and turn off the light so it wouldn't be visible from the bottom of the wood.
"Okay, make it quick, I need to get back to my mom," your words were rushed and stumbling with each other.
"You truly are terrified of your parents aren't you?" he crossed his arms.
"I don't have time for this Robby-"
"Thought I was 'Keene',"
You only began to call him that after in consequence of the Karate outrage, his first name felt too personal, too close.
You shut your eyes in frustration, "Can you stop being an ass for a second and get to the point of whatever it is that you wanna talk about?"
"Why are you so nervous about me being here?" he continued to tease, truth is, he wasn't sure what he was doing there in the first place, all he knew was that here he was, with you.
"It doesn't matter, just- start talking," you pressured.
"Why are you so nervous about me being here?" he repeated.
Your fingers twitched, a manner you developed out of stress, "Because if they see me with you, I'll never hear the end of it, okay?" you fidgeted then with your jewelry.
"If you never wanna be caught in a lie I suggest you stop doing the ring thing," he pointed out, "It makes it easy to tell,"
You halted the action and then shrugged.
"Why are you so nervous about me being here?"
"Because they already filed a restraining order against you, I guess you didn't get it because you're here, but if they call the cops you'll probably end up in juvie and I don't want- If you ever wanna go back to school or get a job is gonna be incredibly difficult,"
He assumed at first you didn't wanna be seen with him because of how much you cared about the reputation of your new life, a valid perspective given how much you made an effort to conceal it all, but hearing you enlightened him, sore him "Don't look at me like that," a small part of his grudge came out.
"Like what?"
"Like you still care about me,"
A choked laugh resounded from your part, "First of all, I'm not apologizing for that, and second-"
"You should," his demeanor abruptly became more defensive.
You tilted your head, "Why?" your energy matched his.
"Because you don't care about me, and acting like you do is very hypocritical of you,"
"When have I ever told you that I don't care about you?" you frowned.
"You don't have to say it, you already proved it,"
"How so?"
"Don't play the innocent part now," he was close to losing his cool,  "You try so hard to hide everything that happened but at even the slightest inconvenience, you go right back where you started, tell me, do your mommy and daddy know you went to see me two days ago? Huh? Or let me guess, you were too scared to tell them?" 
"Oh, fuck off Keene, is that all you got? Is that the only thing that you think will affect me? My parents? My reputation?"
"Yes! Because that's the only thing you care about! You're nothing but a self-centered spoiled brat that doesn't know any better than to run away from her problems! You wanna know who the real coward is here? You are! Some of us don't have the privilege of a new start! Keep pretending all you want, but don't forget, I was your friend and you turned your back on me, I wasted my one phone call on you because you were the only person I had, and you hung up on me like I was nothing! Tell me, how am I supposed to be the coward if I'm the one who got hurt because of your selfishness?! You don't care about anyone but yourself!" as much as he attempted to divert the subject of the conversation, his eyes sabotaged him, quickly covering his face in a salty heartbreaking liquid. "You... you weren't there-" 
You were both stunned by his reaction, you'd think that with everything he's been put through, he wouldn’t snap so easily, so passionately, so emotionally, but no, all of this was a new part of himself that only you made him feel, he’d only allowed you to do so.
"I needed you! I needed you! And you weren't there! And- and then the first time you say anything to me after I got out-" 
If there's something he had while being in juvie was time, precious time he'd spent weaving, machinating; about you, about his dad, about the LaRusso's, about Miguel, about him. Strategizing his next encounter with the world was arduous, but the action of going through with it was the true challenge, and he realized how useless all that time truly was when he heard your voice the first time, suddenly all of it was gone, the effort, the time, the sleepless nights, the daydreaming noons, all of it, turned into nothing, you turned them into nothing. 
"I was happy," he exhaled like freeing himself of chains and shackles, "I was so happy, and I enjoyed seeing you mad so fucking much, seeing you in general," he laughed, "I tried to-" he choked on his words, "I tried to hate you so much because you bailed on me but I can't," every inch him began to feel... lighter, "I can't hate you," he sighed, "I- I just can’t,”
Your body didn’t allow you to move, roughly grounding you, vines of regret holding you hostage against soothing him, stopping him, following him outside, responding coherently to your family’s screams, to forget.  You’d lost count of how many days you’d feel as you were still glued to the wooden floor, completely stuck, dried-out blossoms of hope from your heart, rageful deep thorns clinging to your debilitated frame, daunting poison sinking your head.
—How many times?—
How many times would you have to come up with every pretentious and overly-thought narrative to justify everything? You’ve been silenced by your reluctance, aghast by your idealization, confined by your denial, triggered by tension, frozen by your guilt, and finally steered by resentment. 
You stared at the faint reflection from the glass, you wanted to immortalize the picture, hair slightly out of place, tugged at clothes, blood burst out of the skin, purple underneath the large organ, nostrils flowing with the lack of air, mouth agape. 
—Why?—
  You prepared yourself for the question before anyone else asked it. 
—Why was protecting Robby’s honor against someone as irrelevant as Natalie Dalmasos worth it?—
 You noticed your knuckles finally matching your brother’s.
—He’s never even met her—
Your stomach sunk as if releasing all the ire and digesting it as dread.
—Was it worth it?—
Hammering head.
—Did she deserve it?—
Striking heart.
—You screwed up everything you built—
Trembling legs.
—What did you do?—
Numbed face.
—Why destroy it?—
Streaking neck.
—Why him?—
Overwhelmed.
Then reality came back.
—Shit—
You reached for your phone, quickly texting your mother the first perfectly constructed lie you could think of, you had to disappear at least for tonight, eventually relieved by her believing your sleepover story, you started the car.
—Where else would you go?—
You blankly saw the infamous logo, the white clearness hiding the inside, you took a shaky breath and struggled to get yourself inside the walls, you didn’t have to make yourself known by words, the heavy door did all the work filling it with creaks against the floor for it being poorly moved. 
You saw him cautiously walk out of the dark.
“Robby,” you let out a soft smile.
He frowned as you gradually got nearer.
“I- I um-” you gulped, “I just got into a fight, the party- I-,” there was now a lightbulb over your head.
He rushed, “Y/N, holy shit,” 
“I- I’m fine, I swear,” you chuckled.
“Fine?! You look like shit!” 
“You should see the other guy,” you joked
He shrugged, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that, I’m just-,”
“Shocked?” you interrupted him, “Surprised? Amazed? Astonished? Stunned? fucking… every other synonym there is?”
He nodded still scanning your body, “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” he placed one of your arms on his shoulder to then swiftly carry you bridal style to his mattress. You tilted your head observing the side of his jaw.
“I never noticed you had a scar there,” you whispered.
“One of many of my mom’s bad boyfriends,”
“I’m sorry,” you delicately traced it.
He smiled, “It’s okay,” 
You were laid down rather dramatically, or so you thought by the way he treated you like you were made out of paper, you just rolled your eyes and sat up while he went to get the first aid kit. 
“This is gonna hurt,” he wet the cotton.
You scoffed, “Relax Robby, I’m a big girl, this isn’t my first drill,” 
“Right,” he nodded.
You lowly hissed when the chemical made contact.
“Thought this wasn’t your first drill,” he teased.
“Okay, just because I’ve been hurt before doesn’t mean it’s not painful,” you both laughed, “I can still handle it,”
The rest of the cleaning went somewhat silent, just a few mumbled sorries were thrown around, but by the time he had pulled out the bandages, you grew impatient.
“You’re not gonna ask?” you broke the ice.
“Not really,” he admitted. 
“Why?”
“Because,” he raised his shoulders, “It’s too late to go and make ‘em pay for it,”
“Oh god, please don’t, I already did that,”
“What do you mean?” he began to wrap your hand.
“I’m the one who started the fight because they were talking shit,”
“What kind of shit?”
“All kinds, throwing rumors and just- bullshit,”
“About who?”
You licked your lips.
—Really? Now you go silent? You’re already here, fuck it—
“About you,”
“What?” he tightened the cloth too much.
“Ow,”
“Sorry, sorry,” he let go.
“Yeah,” you confessed, “They were talking shit about you and I shut them up,”
“Who?” he was still confused.
“Some girl from my school who thinks she’s fucking… Regina George or somethin’, she’s just a bitch,” you shook your head.
“Why?”
—Why?—
You grabbed his face, and gave him the most mellow and honeyed eyes you’ve ever had, “You haven’t figured that one out yet, have you?” you joined your foreheads as you closed your eyes, “You’re not the smart one out of us anyway,” you heard him giggle.
He brushed his nose with yours, shyly getting closer.
—Are you sure?—
—Yeah—
—Fuck it—
You kissed him for the first time, but held on to it like it was the last, how was it that you could say everything with just that? The most disarming and humble expression there is; the touch of two epidermises, and the completion of dual fantasies. You almost blubber in it, oh sacchariferous little poison of yours, worth every penny, every dime, every tear, every scream, and every dream. 
He paused, taking a deep breath, yet never breaking contact.
You sobbed, “I love you,” you dried his cheeks.
“I love you too,” he whimpered.
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