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julie-thefatones · 3 years

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Ghostin || Luke x Reader|| Part 1

A/N: Its been over a year since your best friend Luke passed away, finding it hard to cope with everyday life you go through stages of grief and depression, until one day Luke comes back.....

This story will include flashbacks, when that happens I will put the words in bold.

Inspiration for this story coming from Ghostin by Ariana Grande (if you wanna feel the vibe for the first chapter listen to this song)

Word Count: 1, 384

WARNINGS: Depression, Death, Thoughts of self harm

It had been exactly 1 year and a month, 395 days, 568800 minutes, countless nightmares, countless tears since he.... well, since the incident. Days seemed to go by in slow motion, everybody around you used to ask you if you were okay, give you hugs, call you and see if you wanted to hang out.... you appreciated everyones kindness and words, really you did.... you just couldn't. Whenever you would give in and go out, you would see Luke in every person you saw, only making it harder to deal with the pain. Eventually ignoring all calls and people all together..... Slowly causing the people in your life to fall away from you, until eventually everyone was gone... your parents did the best they could to interact, your sister gave up after 6 months... you couldn't blame her though, she was only 13 and didnt really understand what was going on... the only person that seemed to stick around was your boyfriend Jeremy.

You and Jeremy had known each other since you were just kids. You actually met him through Luke while playing on the playground in 4th grade, Luke had told him the main way to a girls heart was to throw mud in her face.... which he did .... and he learned that day forward not to listen to Luke because most the time he was full of it... but most of the time, he would listen to him anyway.

Jeremy probably understood you more than anyone..... well that was except... Luke. Jeremy understood yours and Lukes relationship though.... even so, you couldn't help but feel bad, you haven't exactly made things easy on him. You wondered time and time again why he stayed with you.... why he loved you... The Body of the girl that was once full of life and there, now standing with a vacancy sign on her chest.... hallow.

You sat in your room watching the rain trickle down the window pane, looking up at the sky.... sometimes you wondered if Luke was watching you, was with you sometimes. You felt the tears start to trickle down your cheek... that was usually your sign to go and lay down, for the pain was to unbearable to stay awake.

Although,Sleep wasnt always your friend ........ "LUKE" You cried in pain, tears streaming down your face, caused by a reoccurring nightmare of when you found out he had passed. clutching your chest to catch your breath, you felt arms wrap around you to hold you closer, a comforting "sssshhh" coming from behind you, it was Jeremy.... you had completely forgot he was supposed to come over. You buried your face into his chest, soaking his shirt in tears as he gently patted your hair until you drifted off to sleep once more. The minute your eyes would close.... there he was standing there with his smirk, and kind eyes getting ready to welcome you into a hug.. this was when sleep was kind to you.

The next morning you woke up to a sunny day, you rubbed your eyes to fully accept the morning, rolling over to find Jeremy looking confused and lost. "Good morning" you said trying to sound as positive as you could, Jeremy just kind of glanced over at you, his eyes slightly puffy.... as if he were crying "Are you okay?" you asked genuinely concerned, even though you were empty, you still wanted to be there for him.. after all he has been here for you this whole time. He looked at you hurt, but like he was trying to understand, biting his lip "What did you dream about last night?" He asked, you could tell in the tone of his voice that he seemed to have already knew, and wasnt happy about it, you thought back about what your dream was about .... You and Luke were hanging out in his room messing around with his guitar, and him looking at you and telling you that everything was going to be okay, and that he was there, and not to be sad anymore..... you looked back at Jeremy "It was just ... a dream.... nothing super big" You said trying to change the subject, "You kept saying... Luke....." He said biting his lip again, you sighed, fidgeting with your pillow "This isnt anything new, you know I have that nightmare where I relive hearing about his death....." You said with a crack in your voice, Jeremy sighed "No... I know that one, when you scream, which did happen... but im not talking about that one.... im talking about the ones after that" He said looking straight into your eyes, "These were different... you kept saying his name, like he was right next you ... and you would cuddle up to me and then say his name." Jeremy said, with almost betrayal in his voice, you played with your hair and then looked him in the eyes "Its nothing.... he just.....sometimes he visits me in my dreams.... or " you paused and scrunched your blanket more up to your face "Or feels like he visits me.... " you said in almost a whisper.... "Its nothing you need to worry about" you sighed hoping he would forget about it and move on "Are these new? or have they always happened?" you pondered at his question, not sure if you should tell the truth, Jeremy was the only person you had left and you didnt want to scare him off too, Luke would have told you to be honest and do what you feel in your heart, and then he probably would have tickled you to lighten the mood, but he would have been right, you always hated when he was right because then he got this cocky grin and would tease you endlessly... you hated it so much .. that you loved it. You sighed "They have been here for about 9 months.... so not the whole time but they aren't new either" You said with full honesty, Jeremy sighed and ruffled his hair, as if he was trying to cope "Okay.... " he said with almost exhaustion and frustration, then he grabbed you and held you next to him "Well, I wish you just.. would have told me sooner" he said kissing the top of your head, you loved that he cared... but you didnt want to tell him .... because then it became real that the dreams in fact... were not.

The nightmares and dreams continued like they always do, you would wake up and live your days like you always do..... Jeremy would try to be supportive like he always did. It all got so monotonous.... you just didnt know what to do about it. The only person that knew how to bring you out of your slumps, the only person that knew how to talk any sense into you was gone... he wasnt there.... so you just sat, going through the motions of every day like a robot on command. Everything around you felt fake, even yourself.... you couldn't take it anymore... so you ran.

You felt the crisp nights air brush against your face as you ran, smell of the ocean wafting in your direction as you made your way to the top of the cliff. You came to a halt right at the edge... breathless. Tears streaming down your face with uncontrollable cries bellowing from within your lungs. You looked over the edge thinking about what you were planning on doing.... you kept thinking about Your mom and dad, your sister, Jeremy..... Lukes parents who still invited you over every Sunday for brunch.... would they care, how much would this hurt them? but then all these thought of everyone in your life disappearing when the pain within you arose again.... you knew that of course they would care and it would probably destroy them all.... just the pain in your heart was unbearable, you looked over the edge once again, taking a deep breath in "I love you Luke" You said in a whisper, tears rolling down your face "Y/N! what are you doing" A voice from behind you exclaimed with caution, and then you felt a hand grab your arm, you looked behind you ...... you couldn't believe it "Luke?"

#tell me what you guys think #this is new fic territory for me #Luke Patterson #Luke Patterson x Reader #Luke Patterson x y/n #Luke Patterson Fanfic #Luke Patterson fan fiction #jatp luke #Charlie Gillespie #Marys fanfic

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burnedbyshoto · 5 years

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Love and War

Kinktober Day One ~ kink: hate/bitter sex

pairing: villain dom!midoriya izuku x hero fem!reader

warnings: smut, fluff, angst

word count: 6,788

a/n: so... lets get this started, never have I ever thought I would actually take part in this event... I like this piece a lot :D I hope you guys enjoy it as well :D ENJOY LIKE REBLOG COMMENT IM SO EXCITED AHHHHHH edit: showing what it is now that its been up for awhile

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

Your eyes locked on green eyes from across the room. The drink in your hand seemed to slip from your fingers as he turned towards you.

He was handsome. Curly green hair, freckles scattering on his cheekbones, large eyes that drew you in. He was taller than you, broad shoulders, strong and lean. He was walking towards you, and you placed your drink on the table. The chatters of your friends falling deaf on your ears as he approached you.

Black slacks sat tight on his waist, your lip in your mouth as your eyes trailed up. He also wore a tight white t-shirt. He was gratifying…

Your hands moved to run through your hair as he smiled at you, his hand extended to you, and you smiled. His hand was large, tanned, calloused, yet scarred. You didn’t mind, your eyes trailing back up to his face, and you smile, taking his hand.

“I’m Midoriya.” He tells you and charming smile on his face. His voice is low, and it’s smooth. You pout your lips, leaning in close as you take in his warm hand. “Midoriya Izuku.”

“Pretty name for a handsome man.” You flirt as you take your hand back from him, you glance at him from under your eyelashes.

He chuckles, and the sound alone almost sets you off. He runs a hand through his hair, flexing for you. You have to keep yourself from drooling as he shoves his hands into his pockets, “Do I get your name?” He asks you, his eyes twinkling as he comes to stand even closer to you.

You click your tongue, looking apologetic as you shake your head. “Sorry, I don’t give my name to strangers…” You admit, a smirk on your face as you take your drink back into your hand. Your back now turned to him.

Your smirk only grows as his chest is sinfully pressed to your back. You can feel the outline of his muscles rubbing against you as his warm breath hit your neck. Taking the straw of your drink to your lips, you giggle as he speaks.

“I’m sorry, do I need to buy you a drink, love?” He asks, his lips ghosting over the exposed skin on your neck. “I did already introduce myself after all.”

You shift to look at him, your face teasingly close to his. “Oh sweetie, if you don’t know what I mean by that, I don’t think we’re meant to be.” You whisper, your lips brushing against his.

His green eyes seemed to turn black as his lips were suddenly on yours. The hollering of your friends reminding you where you were, but you didn’t care. His lips are intoxicating, and everything seems to fall into place as his hands grip your waist. He’s trying to dominate you, you can tell that through his forceful kiss, and you’re ready to give him a run for his money.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

You wake up with a groan in his bed, the bright lights of the morning sun beating down on your face. You push off the bed, your arms wobbling, and you moan in pain. Your hands running down your throbbing neck. You could feel the hickies that had formed from the night before.

“Good morning, beautiful.” A husky voice interrupts your search for bruises as you lock eyes with the handsome man.

“Mm, I told you my name, please use it…” You groan as he walks over, a cup of tea in his hands.

“I thought a girl like you would appreciate getting called beautiful.” Midoriya laughs as he sinks into the mattress next to you. The sheets fall exposing your bruised breasts. “Nah, you’re definitely the kind that enjoys getting called a hoe in the morning.”

Your eyes widen, and you smack his arm as he laughs. Your cheeks burn as you cover your face, “You’re annoying, but I have to go! Duty calls!”

You chug the quite warm liquid and hand the empty cup to Midoriya. You slip off the bed and walk towards your pile of clothes. You, unashamed, pull them all as you show off your naked body. You weren’t that drunk last night, and so you could care less that his eyes are very glued to your naked form. “Thank you for showing me a great night…” You admit as he follows you out of his front door. Your eyes linger down his abs and you suck in air as you brush your messy hair out of your face.

“I know one night stands are a thing people take seriously and all... but if you’d want to…” He looks away, his cheeks blushing, and a smile fills your face. “Could I take you out on a date?”

You stand on your tiptoes, pressing a kiss onto his lips, “If you find where I put my number, then yes.” You whisper against his mouth as he chuckles.

“How can I trust you?” He asks keeping you close.

“You’ll have to,” You say stroking his cheek with your thumb as you press a kiss to his neck and walk away. A giggle on your tongue as you disappear.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

One Year Later

You giggled as Izuku held you over his shoulder. Your legs kicking as he threw you onto the mattress. His grinning face blowing raspberries into your exposed stomach. You howl in laughter trying to get him to stop. “LEAVE ME ALONE!” You shriek as you try to detach his lips from your belly. You’re laughing so hard that it begins to hurt you to laugh. “I'm--‘ZUKU--GOING TO PEE!”

Izuku pulls away, peppering kisses up your chest until he’s kissing you over and over on your mouth. You’re grinning too wide for his lips to even touch yours. His kisses pressing much more over your teeth as you’re gasping for breath. “I do not clean up your piss, sweetheart.” Izuku laughs as you tilt your head up towards his. “Your laugh is so ugly!”

“Your face is ugly, ohhhhh!!!” You shout back as Izuku nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck.

“You’re a child, you know that?” Izuku grins against your skin, and your fingers tug at his curls pulling his face back up to yours.

“Mm, so you’re into children? I may have to call Zeal on you!!!!” You tease, your face dropping to seriousness as you stare into his emerald green eyes.

“I could take her on any day for you.” Izuku brushes your hair out of your eyes, and your eyes flutter. God, there was so much you would do for this man. You loved him so much it hurt you.

“Even Sunday nights when you have an early Monday morning meeting?” You ask almost breathless. He leans back, his hands moving down your torso, and stopping below your ass. His fingers pressing into your skin gently.

It takes everything within you not to flinch as he presses into a bruise. A well-hidden bruise that he was not meant to see. “I would do it three minutes before the meeting... “ He presses a gentle kiss to your fingers, and you sit up. “I love you so much, y/n. I do.”

“Tell me again how fucking hot I was that first night,” You say shifting closer to Izuku’s warm body. Your breasts pressing against his chest. Despite being months of being together, you grin at the blush that overwhelms his face. He was such a fucking boobs man.

“You were the easiest one at the bar, I had to go after you. No one was going to sleep with me except for you!”

“SHUT UP!” You shriek as Izuku’s laughter fills the room as he grabs your waist, and he tumbles onto the bed. You giggle as you land on top of his strong chest, and you grin as you press a kiss against his freckled jaw. You shift in his arms and get your lips to press to his gently, softly, longingly.

“Alright, baby, I have to go! It’s ladies' night!” You sigh into his mouth, his hands keeping you close to him as his tongue slips into your mouth. You moan languidly at the feeling of his tongue dancing with yours. You slowly shift your hips up against his own.

“You can tell Ashido-san she can rip you out of my fucking hands,” Izuku growls as he sucks softly against your neck. You arch into him as you shake your head.

“Stupid, she could totally beat your ass, and you have that--fuck, you have that meeting of yoURS!” Your breath hitches as his fingers slip into the waistband of your sweats. “Midoriya Izuku!”

“Fine, fine, fine!” Izuku chuckles pulling away, love lacing his eyes. “I love you, stay safe tonight? You girls can’t handle your liquor.”

You roll your eyes as you peck a last kiss to his lips. “Only because we’re half your size!!!”

Izuku walks you out of his house, and into your car. His face sticking through the window for some last kisses. You give him as many as you can until you have no more time to waste. “Okay, okay, bye! I love you!”

You watch as Izuku continues to wave at you from the street, a smile on your face until you turn the corner. Your smile instantly drops as you’re far away.

You give a call to Mina, and she instantly picks up.

“Hello? Are you ready? Damn lover boy has so wrapped around his fingers! You’re so lucky that damn villain has been in a better mood as of late too! Or else… well, I don’t even know what you would be doing!” Mina’s voice groans as you don’t even have the voice to speak back to her.

“I’m sorry... but okay, where to first?”

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

Five Hours Later

You ran along rooftops, your eyes locked on the man running away from you. Your breathing is harsh, raspy. You’ve been running for almost an hour now, jumping and weaving through pipes. You’re trying to get to him, the one man you’ve been chasing for years now. The man that taunted your dreams. Your life.

Your eyes caught onto the rubbish on a nearby ceiling, and you throw out your arm. Yellow energy shooting from your arms as it attaches to the objects and fall. Trapping the man by high walls, and a fifty story drop.

“Come on, you know you want to give in!” You pant as the man stops running, he turns around, his guard is up. His gaze concentrated on you entirely as you stop in front of him. The yellow energy filling your hands as you raise your own guard. “Give in.”

“As much as I would love to wrestle it out with you, sweetheart, I’m in a loving relationship.” His voice is dripping with sarcasm as green lights spark out of his skin. You ready yourself for anything.

The two of you were among the minuscule population that had superpowers. A revolutionary feat that had the world in battle. You were a superhero. As if you were straight off a comic book, you fought against people who threatened those beneath them. Hell, most times you were a glorified therapist! You really only hardly ever got into fistfights, but this man. This… vile man in front of you was an exception. He was cruel.

Using this power of his to create chaos and mayhem. It was not something you liked, you hated him for it, and you have been trying to get him. To corner him! But he was always one step ahead. A finger brushes away from you as you tried to get him.

It was a dreadful and repeating dance now, one the two of you frequently explored. You would lunge forward, and he would take a step backward, you would spin out, and he would pull you back in. Even the way you two fought, it was fluid, sharp, deadly, yet melodic. Had it not been for the fire in your stance, the occasional locking fists, it could have been a dance.

“You know, I pray for the person you kiss at night, they must be so disappointed in who you are.” You say as he shrugs his shoulders.

“Don’t be jealous that it isn’t you.”

“I don’t think I could ever be jealous of your so-called significant other.” You laugh, your eyes glaring at him.

The masks on your face covered everything but your eyes. You could not tell what color his eyes were, but you knew he was looking at you. The only thing you needed though was to have him pinned to the ground. His wrists in a handcuff as you dropped him off to the police. Then you’d be able to go home to Izuku, to tell him the only secret you kept from him.

“Mm, I guess so! But, I will have to bid you adieu, my sweet Zeal! Duty calls and well, I’m merely here to distract you!”

Your eyes widened as an explosion blew in the distance, and you whipped around. You snap back around to see him waving goodbye, and you snarl. “Fuck you, asshole!” You took off in the direction of the explosion, your heart hammering away as you near it. Screams and cries echoing through the streets as you jumped in to help. Your words aiding everyone in the firey trap.

“Don’t worry, I’m here for you!” You repeated over and over. Your mask showing your smile as you tried to ease crying victims.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

One Month Later

You wore an elegant dress.

It hugged your body as you stared into the mirror, your eyes burning into your reflection as you did your makeup.

You were very scared. It was a month since that explosion. A month since you first experienced someone dying because of you. Since then, you’d been on edge. You fear it was going to happen again. Scared that while you were out with Izuku you get attacked. Your worst fear was seeing the man you love die in your arms.

“Hey there, baby,” Izuku says walking into your room. Your eyes look up at him in the mirror, and your smile is affectionate. Izuku is in a pair of dark blue slacks. A white button-up shirt that hugged his chest beautifully, and a black-tie with a jacket on. His hair combed back, overall, he was drop-dead gorgeous.

The green-haired man walks to you and hugs you by your waist. Izuku's eyes dawdling on your outfit as you turn your head to press a kiss to his temple. “Hi.” You smile as he kisses your forehead.

“Who you getting all dressed up for?” He asks jokingly, and you hum as you lean up against his body. You’re grateful for his support. His hands stroke through your long and styled hair, his fingers twirling your locks in his hands. “I hope it’s not for me because that would be awkward…”

You snorted as you hit his collarbone with your head, “Yeah it would be! I was actually on my way for a booty call. Do you know Bakugou Katsuki? Mm, good, well you see he just really really knows how to fuck my pussy right. It’s immeasurable, really! I recommend you give him a spin one day.” You cackle and his fingers pinch your sides.

“Watch it, and you’ll be covering the tab tonight.” Izuku teases you as he nuzzles your neck with his nose.

“Oh, don’t worry! I also have another booty call, you may know him as well! Todoroki Shouto? Super rich!”

Izuku laughs and you laugh as well your lips caressing against his with echoing pecks. “They wish they had someone like you in their lives.” He whispers against your mouth, and your smile drowned with love.

“I don’t blame them.” You whisper as you continue pressing kisses to his mouth, not wishing to let this end. “Besides! All my friends have wanted to, and I quote ‘climb you like a tree’.” You quote with your hands before gripping his jacket pulling him in closer. “God, I love you.”

“And as much as I would love to show you how much I love you, we have a reservation we can’t miss.” Izuku moans as he pulls you to your feet. You huff as you roll your eyes, your arms wrapping around his neck as you nudge your nose against his.

“When has that ever stopped you before, Midoriya?” You tease as Izuku smirks, his mouth pressing against yours softly.

You move to deepen it, but he bends down quickly, throwing you over his shoulder as he walks out. “WE AREN’T MISSING IT!” Izuku yells over your shrieking laughter as he runs out of your house.

The dinner is fantastic.

Romantic and special.

You love the way Izuku’s eyes burn into you the entire night, his energy never once wavering. His hand held yours after the meal was over. You were complaining about never being able to eat again. Izuku listens to you all while he presses fluttering kisses against your wrist. You giggle out his name as he refuses to quit, and your cheeks glow red.

“Y/l/n y/n,” Izuku states, and you raise your eyebrows inviting him to continue. “I met you in a bar more than a year ago, and I knew the second I caught your eye I was going to fall in love with you. I didn’t expect you to come back to me after that first night.”

Your heart stills suddenly, and a warm pool fills your body as you’re realizing what is happening.

“Sex with you is incredible, phenomenal even. Honestly, it’s why I wanted you back, but your soul. Your energy, I love you so much…” Izuku smiles as he kisses the back of your hand. “I love the way you hate Monday mornings like the stereotypical dumbass you are. I love that you always jump onto your bed, you do not have to, you’re not that short! But you do… you complete me. You make me want to be a better person every time I do anything… and I have one last thing to ask…”

You wipe away tears that continue to pour out of your eyes, and you sob as a waiter places a covered plate in front of you.

“Will you marry me, y/n? Would you do me the honor of being my wife?”

The silver lid comes off, and you continue to sob as a black velvet box presents itself on a plate. A luminescent diamond ring shining against the light. The words he uttered printed in chocolate on the plate. Izuku is on his knee in front of you, the ring in his hands as you sob into his neck.

Your head nods over and over.

“Yes!” You cry as you pepper wet kisses all over his face. “Yes, please! Yes!”

The diamond ring slips onto your finger, and you can’t even begin to describe your emotions as you kiss him. The cheering of the crowds disappearing as you hold him even closer.

That night, you arch off the bed many times. Your voice full of mirth and joy, Izuku’s voice needy and never once anything but loving.

He asked you for your hand that night, and yet you united in a whole other way. The overwhelming love between the two of you palatable the entire night.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

One Week Later

You struggle against the wall, gasping as the villain holds you by your throat. You had foiled his next plan and were now paying dearly for it.

You slam your foot into his crotch and he grunts, letting you go. You collapse to the ground gasping for air. You stagger but act quickly, sweeping his feet out from underneath him. He falls to the ground, and you shoot energy from your hands, allowing you to quickly and smoothly hop on top of him. You press your knees into his arms, and he hisses.

His legs sweep up, kicking you forward and you tumble off of him.

So the two of you embark on another dangerous dance of yours. Mina screaming in your ear about the dangers lurking around you if you don’t get out of there! But you had landed a hit, you were going to get him today!

You duck under a punch and shove a palm to his ribcage. He stumbles backward, you narrow your eyebrows as you lock an energy strand around his leg, pulling him in. You race over, but you miss the electricity escaping his skin. You’re blown backward, white-hot pain scorching your cheek, the mask on your face cracking in two. You gasp for air, the mask cracking completing as it falls to the ground. Fuck… you couldn’t hear Mina yelling at you anymore as knees slam into your chest and you wheeze.

Your eyes lock onto the villain before you. His arm cocked back for another punch, but he’s frozen. His body is still. You don’t feel your energy power up, only that you’re arm is thrust up and he’s thrown off you. A sickening crash heard and you sit up wheezing.

You stare at the man, your vision dizzy, and you feel sick.

Not because you’re dizzy, but because of the face that's revealed as his mask cracks around him.

Izuku.

His green eyes are so wide, and your eyes are tearing up.

He’s speechless, and you're cursing his name.

He can’t stand up, and you stumble to your feet, swaying where you stand.

“Get the fuck out of there, y/n!” Mina's voice is yelling at you, and you flinch finally hearing it.

“‘Zuku…” You whisper, your head shaking in disbelief. “You can’t be… how are you Deku?”

The villain's name. The name you loathe, the name you refuse to use. You prefer villain because giving him a name gives him an identity. A reason for him to be committing the atrocities he’s committed.

How was this man in front of you the person you loved with all your heart?

How was this the man who loved you tenderly and gently? The man who was afraid to deny the simplest of favors because he was a generous and kind person.

You can’t remember running away. You only remember that you’re back in your house sobbing as you stare at the diamond ring on your nightstand.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

Two Days Later

You stare at the ceiling of your room. You feel hallow.

Since that fateful encounter, neither one of you has attempted to reach out. Neither one of you calling, texting, or showing up. You hated it, but you couldn’t stand seeing him here. How could you ever talk to the man you love knowing who he was? What he was… what he is?

You knew everyone had secrets, but why was his secret this? Why couldn’t it have been that he was a soprano vocalist in an acapella group? Something embarrassing so that you could tease him!! But not this, anything but this…

The engagement ring is on your finger still. It makes perfect sense, everything tells you that it should be there. But it feels heavy… it weighs you down in more ways than it’s weight. Could you really forgive a man like him? Yes, he’s your Izuku, but he’s also Deku.

Notorious as the underground crime king, Deku was someone you’ve been fighting since day one. It made you nauseous just thinking about how that man was your Izuku.

How were they the same person?

The floorboards in your hallway creak, and you slam up. Your eyes concentrating on the doorframe. Your mouth runs dry as you stare at angry green eyes. His mouth pressed into a flat line as his hands roughly weave through his hair.

It hurts knowing that it wasn’t a hoax. You knew Midoriya Izuku like the back of your hand and being able to read him now burned your throat and your heart. You lick your lips as he steps closer his eyes focused on you.

“You’re Zeal?”

“You’re Deku…”

Izuku shakes his head, his lips barking with cold humor as he can’t believe it. To be fair, you can’t either as you stare at his conflicted features.

“I don’t understand?” He admits, his eyes swimming with confusion, anger, and yet longing.

“You and me both,” You laugh bitterly, you shake your head as you look up at him. “Care to explain?”

“I don’t really want to.” Izuku shakes his head, his smile sad, and you blink.

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” You snap, your brows furrowing as you stand up, stalking over to Izuku who held his ground. “You’re the one causing all this mayhem, and you’re not going to even explain it to me?!”

“What’s the point, y/n? So that you can cry the next time we meet? You’re not going to give me mercy! You don’t understand! So why should I bother?!” Izuku’s face clouded, angry, and focused. You’re almost nose to nose as you roll your eyes.

“Because you fucking love me!” You hiss, shoving Izuku with your full strength. This entire time you’ve been able to pull off using mere fractions of your strength. Enough to play fight with Izuku, but definitely not enough to send him stumbling backward.

Izuku’s green eyes snap on you as he gathers his balance. The freckles on his forehead disappearing as he furrows his eyebrows. “Don’t do this.”

“Do what? I just found out my fiancée is a fucking spandex-wearing wanna-be-hero!”

“I AM A HERO!” You scream, your hands pulling at the roots of your hair. Your heart is racing in the worst of ways, you feel faint, ready to fall over and never wake back up. “I save people nearly every damn day, Izuku! I save people from you! What the actual fuck is wrong with you?!”

There’s a glower on his face, and you know it’s because you’re putting Izuku on a fence he doesn’t want to be. A fence that he hates. Izuku always had something to say, he wasn’t one to pretend to not have an opinion, and so this was killing him.

“Some people in this world deserve to have checks,” Izuku states his voice steely calm, his eyes raging. “I don’t do anything to people who don’t deserve it.”

Your nostrils flare, and you can feel your throat thick with emotions. What the actual fuck was he on? “Really? Do these people deserve to die? People fucking deserve to get their life blown to shreds because of what? Because you think they’re corrupt? Oh, grow the fuck up, Izuku! No, I don’t believe your bullcrap! Do you think I really haven’t tried finding correlations? Correlations for every single crime you committed? Yes, these people are terrible! But that’s why we have other ways of stopping them! You can’t play fucking god and decide whether these people deserve to live or not! What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

You’re pressed flat against his chest. Your chest heaving with lack of air and overwhelming emotions. Izuku’s face contorted with anger. His green eyes flashing before sinking into blackness.

Then you say words you wish you could regret, words that broke your own heart as you said it.

“How can you expect me to love someone like you?”

His lips are on yours suddenly.

“This is fucking why I kept it a secret from you all along, I knew you wouldn’t agree.” Izuku heavily pants against your lips.

You reciprocate his kiss. Your fingers bunch around his green curls as he picks you up. Your chest burning from lack of air as his fingers dig into your sides. “Shut the fuck up, Izuku!” You snap, pulling on his hair so harshly his head snaps up. Your lips attack his neck as soon as you see his exposed skin.

You bite harshly against his neck. Its less of a nibble that people usually use for hickies, and instead it’s a full-blown bite. Izuku lets out a snarl as after you bite down again, your hot tongue goes to soothe the inflamed skin.

He pants as he tosses you on the bed a movement you’ve always enjoyed, and even now still do. Izuku’s shirt is quickly taken off his body, and you stare at the scars on his body. The overwhelming realization that every single scar caused by you. You had scarred him. You hate to admit it, but that horrible realization sends a pool of heat down to your cunt. You rub your thighs together as he climbs over you.

“The world’s greatest hero Zeal is about to be fucked by her greatest enemy,” Izuku mutters as he presses his mouth back against yours.

The kiss feels poisonous. Your skin burning in every place he kisses you. It’s corrupt and you know it. But… his touches are also your antidote. His trailing hands that grip your breast. You arch off the bed and your erratic heart stirs. Your face twisting as you let out a moan. His tongue slips into your mouth, his hot and heavy tongue.

It dances around in your mouth, a dance that makes you think of your rooftop dance. It’s attacking, evading, pulling each other close for no reason other than to fluster the other.

You slip your hand down from his neck and grasp his dick through his pants. A low hiss from Izuku makes you swivel your hips in anticipation. “You’re not my greatest enemy.” You sneer, as you look at Izuku’s dark eyes that are full of want and need. “I don’t have a great enemy, don’t be giving yourself credit where it doesn’t belong!”

He slams your shoulders back onto the mattress. You glare at him as green electricity emerges from his forearms. You’re own energy seconds from materializing, but instead, he uses it to split the dress you’re wearing wide open. The tearing of the fabric makes your eyes run wide as you can not believe he just ruined your favorite dress. “Whoops.” Is all he says before attaching his lips onto your breasts.

His mouth attacks a sensitive part of your breast. You let out a staggering moan. Your legs clenching together at the overwhelming pleasure just by his touch. You hate that. Your arms move to remove the bra from your body, and you grin at his expression. He didn’t like that at all.

“Whoops,” You taunt, a simper blazing over your features. “Did I do something wrong?”

Izuku’s nostrils flare now and you roll the two of you over, your strength catching him off guard as you pinned him down. You roll your hips against his crotch, and you delight in the fact that you can feel his boner right on your ass. “Wow,” You mutter as you give another roll, you turn your attention towards his restrained pants. Izuku curses your name as you glance back at his scrunched up face. “Do you want me to do something about it?” You ask a taunt in your tone.

A sadistic smile fills your face as he nods his head rapidly.

“Sorry, I only help out good people.” You spit, your ass dragging roughly against his bucking hips again. You smack his chest, not at all liking the disobedience. Not liking the fact that he ruined everything by doing this to the two of you. Your anger is almost palatable, and in your mental fight, Izuku flips the two of you over, dragging you to your knees.

“Would you shut the fuck up, and open your mouth like the good girl you are?” Izuku commands as he takes off his pants. You can’t help the shiver that rolls under your skin at the sight of his dick springing free.

“Just because I’m a hero, doesn’t mean I’ll be helping you out.” You state as you stare at him unimpressed. Although at the moment you want nothing more than to go down on his impressive length. “I only help out people who need the help, not---mmph!!” His mouth is on yours again, and he sits down on the mattress.

His fingers moving to pinch and pull your aroused nipples, “Would you shut up and suck my damn dick?!” Izuku pants against your mouth and you nod, giving in.

Your hand has a vice grip over his twitching cock, and you smirk up at Izuku. His eyes hooded as you stare at him.

“I must say,” You begin to confess, as you arch over him. Your free hand tracing shapes into his thigh as you give the tip of his head a few kitten licks. Smiling when you see the clear pre-cum escaping the tip. “Aren’t you at all embarrassed to admit that the greatest superhero has you on the--”

Your words silenced as Izuku takes your head and sinks your mouth around his dick. You resist the urge to gag as his cock hits the back of your throat. “You can’t fucking talk with my cock down your throat can you?” Izuku hisses as you moan softly around his dick. “Try fucking talking more, see where that fucking gets you.”

You bob your head against his length, smirking when his head throws back. His hips snapping against your mouth. You gag slightly this time. The wet sounds and struggling breathing turning Izuku on further. He increases his speed.

You drop your jaw further. Your fingernails scratching the underside of his dick as he fucked your face. “Shit, y/n!” He grunts as he vehemently continues pounding away. His brows scrunched as his pleasure was slowly winning over him. Your eyes begin to water slightly as the lack of oxygen burns your lungs. The size, and girth of his cock stretching out your throat as you sank all the way down to the base of his cock. It was turning you on so much as you once more moaned. “You take my cock so good, like a good fucking whore,” Izuku growls as he brushes your hair out of your face, and your nose is now in contact with his lower hips.

You hold onto his moving hips, your gagging was a noise that was happening a lot more now, but Izuku didn’t care. His musty scent was overwhelming and you moan louder, why was he so damn alluring. He was relentless in your mouth. Your pussy was throbbing in anticipation for him to finish with your mouth. “Fuck,” Izuku hisses. You can’t prepare as his hot sticky seed shoots down your throat, and you pull away gasping for air.

His mouth is on your again, and his tongue slips into your mouth. His cum is still in your mouth, and when he pulls away, a saliva trail mixed with both his spit and cum. Izuku snarls as you continue panting for air.

“Now lay down and spread your legs open, like the fucking slut you are,” Izuku growls into your ear and you can’t help but nod. You slip off your soaked panties and get on all fours.

You toss your head back to stare at Izuku who’s busy rubbing himself, getting ready to come inside of you now. His eyes lock on yours, and a fire erupts in your belly at the sight of your disregard for his directions. You grin wickedly, like hell he was getting his way.

He drags you to him, and you yelp in surprise until the tip of his cock is rubbing up against your aching entrance. “Why are you so bad at following directions?” Izuku groans as he presses kisses down your stomach.

“I only follow people I respect,” You sigh as the tip of his dick enters your sopping cunt, and you move back onto it.

You can’t see his expression, you refuse to look back. You aren’t sure if it’s hurt, lust, or anger but he stills. You’re about to call out his name feeling guilty but he enters you without warning. Completely. With no warning.

“Shit!” You shriek. Your arms almost giving out on you as his dick stretches out your throbbing pussy in only the best of ways.

“You may not like my decisions as a… villain,” Izuku huffs as he slams into your again, your body moving with his thrust. “But here you are. Pussy dripping for a villain, back arched heavenly for a villain, the man making you feel this way is a villain.” With every phrase, he slams into you, and you hiss. He was too fucking huge in your throbbing core.

You move backward. Your pants are harsh as the movement was something you much more enjoyed. “Don’t worry…” You wheeze as his lips trail down your spine again, his fingers circling your clit. “This will be the only time.”

He freezes within you, but you don’t care, as you slam yourself back against him. An animalistic growl rips from his throat as he begins pounding into you. It’s different from usual. Unlike any other time, he’s not holding back, he slams into you without mercy, without care, without caution.

The feeling is almost overwhelming, his fingers digging into your clit as he thrusts in and out. You curse as his waist slams into your ass. The sounds of your rutting bodies making very loud sounds throughout your room. You mewl as his fingers pinch your throbbing clit. Electricity running through your veins, as your arms give out. Your chest pressed into the mattress. Izuku is drilling into you, his hips slamming into your spasming body.

“Baby!” You cry out, unable to keep yourself from using a pet name as he hits your g-spot.

“I know,” Izuku pants harshly.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as his hips never falter. They continue to hit again and again into your g-spot. Your legs shaking completely as you struggle to keep up with him. Stars are forming in your vision as moans continue to pour from your mouth. His name a repeating verse on your tongue. Izuku uses this as fuel, as ambition as he continues to circle his fingers into your clit. His hips were merciless as he shoves your chest further into the mattress.

“FUCK!” You scream as your orgasm is teasing you with a release. “Let me come, ‘Zuku, please! Fuck! You’re so fucking good to me, let me come around your cock please!” You beg your pride now out of the window as you only wish to come around his throbbing dick. “Baby, please! I need… ohh my god… I needa--”

The coil in you is burning, the fire is everywhere throughout your body, and you’re finally tipping over.

“Come for me, love.” Izuku hisses as he presses his sweating forehead to your back. His fingers pinching both your throbbing clit and sensitive nipple.

The coil snaps, and you come hard around his spasming dick, his name a scream in your mouth. Your pussy clamps like a vice around his dick, you pant for air, and you feel Izuku shudder. He was close.

You turn your head to watch his screwed up face as he chases his orgasm. You smirk as you feel your walls clench around him again, and again. He can’t handle it anymore as he comes within you. His dick slips out from inside you, and you groan at the lack of feeling as he collapses beside you. You smile as you sink into the mattress beside him.

Green eyes meet y/e/c.

It’s over.

The smiles of love and post-sex feelings disappear. Sadness filling its space instead, and you stare.

This wouldn’t work. This couldn’t work.

“I--I’m…”

“I know.”

“Izuku…”

“I do love you.”

“I-I love you, too.”

“I’m sorry it came down to this…”

“I am too.”

“You can keep my stuff.”

You nod your head as you watch him roll off your bed and dress.

Izuku walks away leaving you on your bed. Alone. Cold.

Izuku is panicking, what is he supposed to do now?

“Izuku?!” You yell, and he knows it’s wrong, but his heart jumps in hope. “I love you.”

Your lips are over his again, and Izuku wants nothing more than to turn the clock. To go back to that first night when he saw you from across the bar.

You pull away before Izuku can have enough, your hands lingering in his before you turn away. Tears streaming down your face.

The diamond engagement ring seemed dull in his fingers. It was nothing but a promise to each other that was never meant to be.

Now, what were the two of you to do?

All was fair in love and war, but neither one of you wanted a life without the other.

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etherealwaifgoddess · 4 years

Text

Maybe I Am? - Chpt.2

Characters: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Summary: Steve takes a risk and the guys go out on a “date”. Master list HERE

Content Warning: first “date” cuteness, making out

Word Count: 2.5k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! Today is one of those days where I am eternally grateful for having a “draft” option. Because honestly, ya girl is exhausted. So yay for drafts! Enjoy chapter two. I’m honestly too tired to give ya’ll a better note right now. :-\ XOXO - Ash

Chapter Two

Steeeeve [9:32:08PM]: Hey, it’s Steve.

Bucky Barnes [9:32:47PM]: hi steve

Steeeeve [9:33:15PM]: I had a lot of fun meeting up today.

Bucky Barnes [9:33:39PM]: me 2

Steve huffed staring at Bucky’s second generic response. He was usually so much more lively. Steve took a long sigh and started texting what he needed to get off his chest.

Steeeeve [9:35:21PM]: I’m sorry if I came off as confused or misleading.

Steeeeve [9:35:26PM]: I didn’t mean to do that. But I am kind of confused right now.

Steeeeve [9:35:35PM]: I spent so much time liking the idea of you, and you in real life was even more amazing than I could have expected. But I’ve never dated a guy before and I never expected to want to. And now I think I do.

Steeeeve [9:35:49PM]: I’m sorry. This probably isn’t any less confusing. I’m apparently really bad at this lol. I guess what I’m trying to say is, will you go out on a maybe-date with me? I want to try and see how I feel. I don’t want to string you on, but I want to try.

Bucky stared at the flurry of texts coming into his phone. Damn, serial texter much? He read and re-read Steve texts a few times, chewing nervously his bottom lip, trying to find a response. He wasn’t willing to let his heart get trample on again, not after Brock. But he really liked Steve and if there was a chance Steve might like him too, it was too good to pass up. He had a distinct feeling he was going to regret it, but he tapped out the only honest response he could think of.

Bucky Barnes [9:44:13PM]: i like u 2 steve. i get that ur confused. lets try ur maybe-date and see how it goes? if it goes well cool, if not no hard feelings. k?

Steeeeve [9:45:20PM]: Thank you. Really, thank you for being so great about this. Can we get dinner one night this week?

Bucky Barnes [9:45:55PM]: im free any nite but tues

Steeeeve [9:46:10PM]: I can do Friday night around 7. There’s a really great Mexican place a few blocks over from the gym if you’re willing to schelp all the way over to Park Slope.

Bucky Barnes [9:46:31PM]: sounds good. see u then

Bucky sighed, putting his phone away into the pocket of his favorite old hoodie. He had a date. A maybe-date, but for some reason that felt good enough for him at the moment.

xxXxx

Steve discovered the best part of being able to text Bucky wasn’t just that their chatting was no longer limited to when they were both near a computer, but that they now had a full range of emojis, memes, and GIFs at their disposal. He could now send Bucky random funny things he found during the day and he felt a little proud when Bucky would send back a string of laughing emojis, knowing he had brightened the other man’s day a little. He had worried with their maybe-date looming things might be a little awkward but if anything they were going even better. By the time Friday came Steve was genuinely looking forward to their maybe-date. He had even gone out on Wednesday before his shift at the gym to pick up a set of clothes that were distinctly not gym wear. He couldn’t remember the last time he bought a button up shirt but he had to admit the blue and white checked shirt looked nice on him. He was trying not to stress over the maybe-date but he felt this gnawing need to know, definitively, if he was truly interested in Bucky, or just the fantasy of WinterBae.

Steve raced home Friday to shower and change, hoping he’d left himself enough time to do all that and still make it over to Los Aztecas in time. Taking the time to slick back his hair and do a quick shave, Steve was hustling out the door only to realize he’d forgotten the bottle of wine once he got outside. After a fast double back for the wine he was on his way, making it to the tiny authentic Mexican restaurant with three minutes to spare. He had barely stopped walking when he saw Bucky hopping out of an uber. Steve felt a little flutter at the sight of Bucky and he took it as a good sign.

Bucky looked amazing in his dark skinny jeans and a silky looking black shirt. A minimalist necklace was around his throat, the simple bar resting just below the wings of his collarbones. Steve noticed Bucky had swapped out the cheery beaded bracelets he’d worn on Sunday for a set of sleek silver and leather ones. He looked like he belonged on the cover of a fashion magazine and Steve felt ridiculous in what Sam had teased was his bible salesman outfit.

“Heya.” Bucky greeted warmly, extending an arm for a half hug.

“Hey,” Steve echoed, hugging back with his free hand. “Ready for the best Mexican food of your life?”

“Definitely, let’s go.”

Steve led Bucky inside the little restaurant, its cozy decor making the place feel intimate instead of cramped. Steve had called ahead for reservations so they were whisked off to a table as soon as he gave the concierge his name. Bucky was looking around fascinated, taking in all the colorful decorations.

“It’s really something, huh?” Steve prompted with a smile.

Bucky nodded in agreement, “Yeah, it’s beautiful. So much art packed into so little space. Thanks for bringing me here, Steve.”

“It’s one of my favorite places in the area, mostly for the tacos but also for the art. I got my degree in fine art before I switched gears and went back to get certified in exercise science.”

“That’s quite a switch.” Bucky laughed.

“Art will always be my first love, but it’s not exactly profitable. And once I got healthier I knew I wanted to help other people do the same. I was really sick as a kid and didn’t hit any major growth spurts until I was almost 21. After that, I worked out a lot getting used to my new body and fell in love with the gym.”

“Wow. I’m glad you were able to get healthier, and it’s sweet you’re trying to give back to others with that.”

“Do you go to a gym? I won’t be offended that it’s a competitor, I swear.”

Bucky barked out a laugh, “No. God, no. I am perfectly happy with not having abs or a totally flat stomach as long as waffles exist.”

Steve couldn’t help his eyes dropping to Bucky’s stomach which honestly couldn’t have had more than the smallest layer of padding across it. “That’s okay too. Waffles are pretty great.”

The waitress stopped by to uncork their wine and drop off a basket of fresh tortilla chips and salsa verde.

“What did you bring?” Bucky asked as he took the glass of white wine Steve had poured him.

“Albariño. A waitress here recommended it a few years ago and now it’s my go to. It’s light and crisp, and kinda citrusy? I’m not a wine snob but it’s damn good and goes really well with tacos. I hope you like white wine, I forgot to ask.”

“I’ve yet to meet a white wine I didn’t like, so you’re safe.” Bucky sipped the wine and his eyes lit up, “Oh yeah, this is good. I’ll be hunting this down next time I go shopping.”

“You can get it over at the little wine boutique near the farmers market in Sunset Park. They always have this kind.”

“Nice, I’ll have to check it out. My sister will love this the next time she visits.”

The conversation flowed as the basket of tortilla chips disappeared, only ebbing when their platters arrived and they tucked into their food. Steve had ordered his usual taco platter while Bucky opted for the taquitos platter, an assortment of slow roasted meats wrapped in thin crispy shells. He let out a groan at his first bite that had Steve’s heart stuttering in his chest. The maybe-date had mostly felt like a friend-date up until that point, though Steve had to admit there was a tiny flutter of like there too. But the noise Bucky made and the expression on his face had Steve thinking anything but friends only thoughts.

Bucky caught Steve staring at him as he licked a dribble of sauce off his bottom lip. He hadn’t gotten a distinct date-date vibe from Steve but the look on the blonde’s face was priceless. Bucky thought he probably had made a similar one the first time he saw Devon Sawa in Wild America when he was 12. He had never stood a chance of being straight after that. Testing the waters a little bit, Bucky smirked at Steve, making it abundantly clear he’d been caught staring. Steve flushed and Bucky’s smile widened. There might be hope after all.

Steve wasn’t sure if it was the wine or too many tacos but by the time dinner was over he felt glued to his seat. He hated knowing the evening was coming to an end and wanted to do something, anything, to prolong it. The waitress dropped off the sales receipt with a pen and Steve tried to steady his hand as he signed his name. He knew he needed to muster up his courage or he would be saying goodbye to Bucky in mere minutes.

“Thanks again for paying.” Bucky said after draining the last of his wine, “This was really nice.”

“It was.” Steve agreed, seeing his chance, “You know, I have another bottle of this wine back at my place if you wanna come over for a bit. Maybe you could help me find that movie app you were telling me about for the Fire Stick?”

“Sure, I’m happy to help. I won’t say no to more of that wine either.” Bucky stamped down the hopeful cheering in his chest that Steve was inviting him over. The poor guy probably didn’t mean that anything would happen other than wine and tech help but Bucky could always dream. He would be respectful though, he resolved to himself. He’d never dated a guy who was questioning his sexuality before and Bucky didn’t want to push too far too soon. Bucky figured it was best to let Steve set the pace and just hope his heart didn’t get run over in the process.

Steve’s apartment was only four blocks from the restaurant, a second floor walk up in an old converted brownstone. It was nicer than Bucky’s little hole in the wall apartment and even had a small second bedroom that Steve had set up as a home office. After giving Bucky a quick tour, he led them to the kitchen to pull another bottle of Albariño out of his cabinet. Passing a stemless glass to Bucky, he poured them both a generous amount of wine which they carried out to the living room so Bucky could show Steve the app he’d mentioned during dinner. A few clicks and a quick download later, Steve had access to a ridiculous amount of free movies.

“This is so great.” Steve praised, clicking through the different options. “Oh I love this one!”

“Hm?” Bucky looked up from his glass to see Steve hovering over 10 Things I Hate About You. “Oh that one is great. I remember wanting to be Patrick Verona when I grew up after seeing that.”

Steve gave an amused side eyed look at Bucky. “I think you did a decent job.” he teased, throwing on the movie out of sheer impulse.

Bucky laughed, “You’re sweet. But god knows I’ll never be that smooth.”

“You’re better off than me. I’ve been told I’m hopeless on more than one occasion.”

“You hold your own, Rogers.” Bucky assured him, reaching over to take Steve’s hand in his, stroking the pad of his thumb over the ridges of Steve’s knuckles.

Steve blinked slowly, looking from their joined hands up to Bucky’s face. It felt good, that fluttery feeling stirring in his gut at the contact. He gave Bucky a smile and squeezed his hand gently, making sure his consent was clear.

The movie rolled and they sipped their wine as Patrick did his best to woo Kat. Bucky slowly nudged closer to Steve until he was pressed against his side, his head leaning against Steve’s shoulder. He was warm and comfortable and completely unwilling to move by the time Letters to Cleo played into the credits.

“I can’t believe it’s after eleven already.” Steve yawned.

Bucky yawned next, set off by Steve’s. “Same. I had a really good night, Steve.” He looked up curiously, wondering if Steve had found any new revelations on their maybe-date.

“Me too. This was… really nice. Hey, um, I know this was a maybe-date, but maybe um…”

Bucky shifted so he could sit up taller and face Steve while he fumbled for words.

“I, um, I’d really like to kiss you right now.” Steve blurted out, looking equal parts excited and terrified.

Bucky’s smile was like the sun. “Okay, yeah.” Bucky reached out to cup Steve’s cheek, going agonizingly slow to give Steve a chance to bolt if he needed it. He leaned up a little and Steve craned his neck down, tentatively meeting Bucky’s lips with his own.

A soft press, a pause, another soft press, and then the kiss deepened, Bucky’s lips parting to slot Steve’s with his. Steve let out a choked off moan, unable to believe what he was doing and how good it felt. He let a hand rake through Bucky’s hair and it only made him want to feel more of the silky locks. The scent of cedar and teak from his cologne filled Steve’s nose and though it was very distinctly male, Steve couldn’t get enough of it. It was so much more than he could have expected but also not nearly enough. He was breathing raggedly when he finally pulled back, repressing a shudder at the well kissed expression on Bucky’s face. His full bottom lip was shining and red, his eyes heavy lidded and his chest heaving just as much as Steve’s.

“Whoa.” Steve finally breathed out in amazement.

“Yeah, whoa.” Bucky agreed. “So does this help in sorting out if this was a date-date?”

“I think it was definitely a date-date.”

“I’m glad. And do you think you’d want to try another date sometime?”

“When are you free next?” Steve chuckled, only half kidding.

“Easy there, pal.” Bucky warned lightly, patting Steve’s ridiculously broad chest. “We’ll find a day again soon.”

Steve nodded, knowing Bucky was right for wanting to take things slow. He led Bucky over to the door, giving him one last quick kiss goodbye before the brunette headed out into the early summer night. Steve was still floored by his own reactions to Bucky but it felt so right that he couldn’t agonize over it for long.

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #stucky #stucky fanfic #stucky fanfiction #idiots in love #confused steve rogers #gay bucky barnes #modern day au #no powers

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its-3am-sadness · 4 years

Text

getting lost up in the past— this is what I found

Friday February 1st, 2013:

ugh..im sitting in third hour..i wanna cry, but i cant theres to many people..

can anyone really save me? ..no.. noone ever can.. i just wanna be happy, truely always happy.. )': ughhhhhhhhhhhh! i gotta go..

Monday February 4th, 2013:

holy shit that was a longg weekend.. i almost cut saturday.. i got a new razor & everythingg.. Jake told me to go chuck itt in the snow, soo i did, but then on sunday i went & found itt.. soo i have itt in my ipod case like my other one.

I stayed up till 3 saturday nightt watching 'Enchanted' i love that movie now (: and i sent Jake a 7 and a 9 page text.. he was asleep though..but his best friend is a girl & i have nothing at all against that, i don't have a reason to hate her at all, i havent even met her, but i still am so super jealous.. i hate that they hang out and slepover together and i dont know, i trust him.. but look what happend with the last guy, i trusted him with all my heart, i never thought he would cheat on me and he ended up fucking his ex-girlfriend and lying about it.. im so scared.. i dont wanna be here.. i was thinking saturday & yesterday how i wish i was single just so i don't have to be so paranoid..but i love being around Jake that i wouldnt dream of ending it..

Shawntay said i should tell him about how i feel with him & his besty, but i idont wanna be the dumb bitchy girlfriend who is all 'you cant talk to girls-blahh blahh blahhk' shitt, ya know?? So ima just leave it to myself because i don't care..

im really trying not to cut.. Tabby (my ex's girlfriend) told me that it takes 21 days to break a habbit & we both last cut on the 22nd, soooo we'll see how that goes..

on wednesday it'll be me & jake's 4 months.. & next thursday is valenitines (how ever you spell itt) day and i wanna get him something.. hmm..

my tits now have names.. right one is Adam & the left is Ryder (:

I love him, my baby. <3 soo much.. </3

Wednesday February 6th, 2013:

today is 4 months with my baby!! i love him sooo much. dude. <3 he is so amazingg. i just want to push him in the snow and kiss him and be crazy. i am crazy about him.. like super crazy aboutt him. <3 i dont wantt him to be taken awayyy! ):

Hunter said he was going to ask me out last week on friday on the bus.. god he's a douche.. he broke my heart so many countless times and just left.. and my ex. my good lord, he is such a dick. im sick of them both fucking with my head and heart. ive moved on and it Shawntay's words 'have a new life with a better guy'.. god i love her. i dont know where i would be right now if it werent for her.. <3 i love you shawny'z forever <3

Friday February 8th, 2013:

well..i almost cut last nightt, i didnt but i was aboutt to.. im not taking my meds, im just throwing them in a bag & ima sell them.. they weren't working anyway soo..

Im seriously so sccared that Jake's going to leave me.. even though he says he's not going to an yada yada yada, but still.. im paranoid.. it's just who i am... i love him with all my heart though.. ya know??

im diguesting..im a whore..a damn slut.. in love with a guy who prolly cant stand me.. im fucking pathetic.. why..why..why would, HOW could anyone like me, or put up with me.. i mean, what the hell..im a little ugly bitch. a fat, pathetic, stupid, idiotic, loud, sluty little damn bitch...fuckkkkkkkk.