#okay but someone stop me

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Let the revenge games begin.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin guangyao #nie huaisang #He's gonna call his 5 horse friends up. They have to go on a 14 year long journey to finish the job but by god they will do it. #The sheer chaos in the Audio Drama is really fantastic. Reminds me of those traincar murder mysteries. #The lights go off and there's a scream and then BOOM dead body. Who did that!!! #Okay it was qi deviation and he did it to stop himself from killing his brother. He did it to himself. #JGY sadly has the worst alibi ever though. Both the strongest motivation and also uhhh presence at the scene. #Not to nitpick but as someone who loves murder mysteries - I do feel like even *one* other suspect would have made it stronger. #I get that he tried to make it look like an inevitable Qi Deviation and that it *is* something within the family legacy. #And a big part of NHS figuring it all out comes down to his own perceptiveness and intelligence. #If you weren't close enough to JGY and NMJ of course it looks like an accident. #Sadly 'guy who plays the 'poor little meow meow card'' is also weak to 'guy who plays the 'poor little meow meow card''. #NHS was the better subtle manipulator at the end. That's probably the strongest mystery part of MDZS. And why he's in my top 5. #My man pulled the 'kill him just as he falls from the top of his game and loses everything' gambit and I love him for it.

[mobius-m-mobius]

#a man who DESERVES A SLICE OF PIE

#mobius #owen wilson #mcuedit #lokiedit #marveledit #loki #loki spoilers #owenwilsonedit #dianagifs #for y'alls sake some ep4 moments instead of a hundred gifs of him being silly and kind over the course of the series but #please stop writing characters to exist solely for conflict when they don't have a leg to stand on ;;;;; #so it's fine to get a jump on refilling the straw machine while the timelines are in constant danger but pie during a break crosses a line #okay sure tell me more 💀💀 #of COURSE he has coping mechanisms when the comfort and kindness he naturally extends is rarely returned #free will for all utilized as someone else says?? idc i wouldn't look myself up either and he shouldn't be pressured to #she's only even able to yell at him bc some of the first things he's done since pushing past brainwashing have been saving her life 🙃 #ANYWAY peace and love on earth when the dilf of all time is a sweetheart who takes responsibility for his actions 🥰💖 #marvel #loki s2 spoilers

[caelanglang]

when they started to fall, it never stopped : skk

#idk how to explain myself at this point but #DOMESTIC!! SLICE OF LIFE!! SKK!! #me pushing skater Chuuya agenda mwhehehehehe #okay but I bet Chuuya can skate like maybe he would first use the help of his ability but gets a good hang of it ever soon #*very #belly kisses are soft I’m very soft for it okay esp for Chuuya bc he’s got a stab wound from Shirase there #Dazai becomes extra nice and obedient if Chuuya cooks his fav meals kandhdnddjjssn #they are not fit for spying missions btw /j #bsd #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #skk #my art #sketches #someone pls stop me #it’s so messy amsndncndjdj thanks for coming to my Ted sketch /j #fluff #domestic fluff #domestic skk #sketch

[obsob]

new prints!! n some old ones restocked >:3 link

#mine #uehehuehueuee #i got so low on stock bless....brain is so small #also u will not believe th frog plush i bought this morning ..... #i collect frog plushes now i hve decided #i hve had an okay day...made sm orders...i was literally abt 2 go mail n now its raining ough #actually. i think its trying 2 snow. hmm. #largest update in my life rn is i am now th proud owner of an electric blanket #its. its so good. take this as ur sign 2 get one #its helpin my joints as well!! when i get cold for sm reason i tense up my ? hips? n i was getting so sore ough #okay it is snowing now. great. am gna wait for it 2 stop n then post n then......video game time >:) #someone stop me from buying morrowind

[macksartblock]

Can’t stop thinking about Willy’s proposition to the teens. They’re free to go but where?

Back to the place so lovingly crafted by a devoted mother to accommodate for a lack of a father?

Back to the place that once held so much love and strife, the place that reliably held a girl’s mother and best friend only to now hold nothing but a safe left in her name by her stepfather?

To a ruined plot of land, now full of ash and burnt reminders of a presence that will never return?

To a place that once held a child’s whole world?

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndads spoilers #dndads s2 #I am not okay I can’t stop thinking about this #normal still has baby teeth and lost his mother #scary’s a little afraid of dogs and she can’t even talk to her best friend #taylor broke the one gift he got from his father #lincoln’s dads have been thrown into jeopardy leaving him more alone than ever #*/punches a wall* #someone sedate me

[essektheylyss]

I keep lingering on the fact that Chetney says that the only thing left when he came home was toys, because on its face it's such a strange detail.

He says it as though he feels like it was an indication that his family left the one thing that was associated with him, that he cared about, that he has essentially crafted his whole identity around, which indicated to him that they were left there because the family didn't want them—and by extension, didn't want him.

But what if there was something else? What if he'd misinterpreted? What if they were trying to leave them as a point of connection, like a coded note that they were thinking about him as they fled? What if a misunderstanding left Chetney alone for his entire life, and it was entirely his fault?

It's like, god, his confession feels so concrete (in a way that Travis is very good at when talking around backstory) such that it really starkly outlines what he doesn't say. And gnomes live such long lives that, yes, you could have relatives walk in and out of your life with some regularity and spend a lot of time independent and distant without ever severing the connection, and it doesn't feel like the circumstances in the family were so bitter that the family cared so little as to simply abandon him entirely, at least not without extenuating circumstances.

I just keep thinking about it and the more I think about it the more I want to know what happened, because there's something else there—but the thing is, a large part of Chetney as a character is that sometimes you do feel such resentment for so long that by the time you even think to reconsider, things (or people) have changed or passed, and there isn't always a satisfying answer to be had.

#kinda like. opposite of fjord actually. #with fjord you have the idea that you can change and things can change but sometimes you CAN go back and find someone who loved you #anyway like. yeah I keep thinking about how much the vibe also feels like how essek talks about his family. #just so distant and very much the black sheep of the family but there's still genuine caring even if there's not understanding #I do think about longevity so much okay. do not get me started about long-lived characters I will not stop #critical role #cr meta #chetney pock o'pea #cr spoilers

[svnflowermoon]

btw please block me if you feel the need to gatekeep the queer community. cishet aspecs ARE valid and they ARE queer. the "they don't experience discrimination" argument is possibly the most stupid thing i have ever heard because aspecs experience insane levels discrimination and people are extremely dismissive of them. we our more than our suffering. our community is not yours to gatekeep it isn't fair to invalidate people's queer identities just because you can't fit them in your stupid little box of specific labels.

#like cmon guys its 2024 stop gatekeeping the community we are trying to make people feel SAFE but people are feeling the exact opposite #also like people are perfectly okay (as they should be ofc) with complicated gender identities but when someone's sexuality is complicated? #when someone's sexuality doesnt fit into a specific label or their idea of what queerness 'is'?? #people brush it under the rug and dismiss it because its 'uncomfortable' but fuck that actually people can be as complicated as they want #as someone currently questioning whether im aspec this debate is killing me why do people make it so impossible to just let people live #luc posts #queer #aspec #aromantic #asexual #aroace #lgbtq #luc rants

[stiffyck]

What if people started saying "I need to exercise more" or "I need to eat a bit healthier" instead of "I need to lose weight"

You can be healthy and fat

#and also #you dont need to be healthy all the time #some people will never be healthy #stop trying to be overly healthy if its at the cost of your happiness and mental health #you can eat junk food every once in a while and you dont need to feel bad about it #you can eat sweets #you can lie in bed all day if you need to just chill out and get some proper rest #you dont need to constantly be healthy and at the top of your game #stiff talk #delete later #maybe idk #this will probably stay up who knows #man it just hurts me when someone whos healthy and who looks good says “i need to lose weight” #like yea okay if thats what you wanna do go for it #but i think youre fine as you are #idk man im just rambling

[a-s-levynn]

"Wash me clean again before I pull myself beneath the waves" A Series of Small Offerings - III/11 - day31

#probably click for better quality? i can't work for the tumblr cropping my sketchbook is not compatible with it #a series of small offerings #sleep token #i had to stop trying to refine this at some point and this is good as any #i might make a post later about how the waves evolved because there was a point they looked so sad #but it think i'm okay with how they ended up #the entire piece is just so different from what i initially set out to do #i don't hate it but it is just simplified itself in a way i have not expected it but honestly probably got better for it #the only thing that stayed is the heavy inspiration or more accurately recreation in my style of nemesis design's mouth of infinity artwork #anyway i hope it looks as okay to y'all as it does to me #sleep token fanart #vessel fanart #vessel #vessel sleep token #sleep token vessel #sleep token band #sleeptoken #levynn tries to draw #i also need an adult i'm still in a colossal dilemma about the london ritual in november someone send an adult please #no i'm not one in this situation

[kedreeva]

Eddie Munson's message as a character should never have been that he needed to stop running and fight to be a hero. It should have been that heroism can look a lot of different ways. It should have been you don't have to be a hero to have worth.

#eddie munson #stranger things #yes I am still mad #no I will not be stopping soon #but you're going to get meta tomorrow about something else #no it will not make anything better #yes it will make you mad too hopefully #also not for nothing but #Literally El's whole arc was the same thing #they tried to play it like it wasn't #but after spending a frankly bullshit amount of time #showing us how she was floundering without her powers #they dropped Mike going you're a superhero and El going Not Anymore #and then she has to get her powers back to save everyone #which like yeah okay she's literally the only one who can do that #but listen‚ look me in my eyes #she really could have used someone like eddie #to teach her that she doesn't need to be a hero to have worth #she's not listening to anyone else because they've all experienced her with superpowers #But Eddie didn't even see her defeat vecna at all #idk I'm just. the possibilities!!!!! the character development!!! #they could have had narrative parallels!!! #ugh

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I love how you draw Xie Lian fucking jacked lmao

He's built like a trucker. To Me.

#poorly drawn mdzs #poorly drawn tgcf #tgcf #xie lian #ask #Okay more accurately he's built like someone who works with heavy things and isn't actively looking to body build. #He's softer than your poor dehydrated hot muscle boy #People get uhhhh real mad when XL isn't drawn as a waifish twink but I am hitting them with 'Where Is Your Whimsy' #You will have so much more fun when you stop needing everything to be 'proven' or 'canon'. #Anyways. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to draw Bufflian again <3 I will keep being a menace about it.

[haunted-xander]

So. Fatebreaker, right? Ryne's biggest fears made manifest, daddy issues personified, yes?

He's an amalgamation of Thancred and Ran'jit, his face, his voice and his weapon is Thancred's, but his body, his fighting style and his words are Ran'jit's.

Throughout the fight Fatebreaker constantly makes comments about how only he can protect Ryne, only he can provide for her, only he has even the right to so much as stand beside her, to be in her general presence. He's possessive and obsessive, repeatedly asserting that she is HIS and his only. Which is exactly what Ran'jit says basically every time we encounter him.

But this time it's in Thancred's voice. This time it's with the voice and face of a man she actually cares about.

Ryne isn't scared of Thancred, she never has been. Even when she first met him she was barely even nervous (as clearly shown in Thancred's short story). There's a lot of different feelings happening between those two, but fear has never been one of them.

But now, after things have gotten so much better, she is scared of Thancred becoming like Ran'jit. Because if Thancred was just a little further gone, if he was just a little less compassionate, he would've. It wouldn't be hard for him to go down the same path as Ran'jit did, to be incapable of letting go of the ghost of that girl he loved so so much to the point he'd stubbornly grip anything close to her he could. He didn't, but the fact he could've is terrifying.

It makes his final words, words that are Thancred's, so very important. This is her deepest fears made manifest, but he still says he wants her to be happy. Her happiness not only matters, but is important to him.

#Now we -the audience- ofc knew Thancred was unlikely to go down that path #bc if theres one thing hes been consistent in even in his darkest moments its living up to his loved ones' wishes and legacies #the only time he even speaks against it is his conversation w minfilia in amh araeng #and thats more a case of all his (poorly) repressed grief and stress exploding than him actually meaning what he says #and trying to control rynes life after minfilia literally told him to just let her live her life goes directly against that #i think about fatebreaker a lot. as i do all things related to ryne & thancred #and to me its so important to note that hes more or less ran'jit with just enough thancred in him to be *too* thancred for comfort #its so. her greatest fear isnt even the thing thats been haunting her her whole life (being forced to fill in for minfilia) #its having her free will taken from her by the person she cares about the most (thancred) #and for him to be trapped in endless suffering because he cant move on #just like ran'jit did and was #its not even necessarily that shes all that scared of ran'jit himself #what shes scared about is caring about someone like that #because then she wont say no or try to be anyone but minfilia #(thats also why this fear appears specifically after things get better) #(because she was already ready to forsake herself if it eased thancred suffering) #okay im gonna stop now i need to sleep gnight everyone #ryne waters #thancred waters #ran'jit #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #xander rambles #at this point i should make a tag for ryne ramble posts i make so many of them #tomorrow. maybe. if i remember #edit: i made it #xander being insane about ryne

[solivagantingrebel]

The "Actually, I believe he prefers to be—" "That'll do." Exchange lives rent-free in my brain like. What was Soap going to say? Was it 'L.t'? But I think technically Alejandro is higher ranked than him (Ghost) right(?) So I'm not sure if that works entirely and 'L.t' seems to be something that other marines/or soldiers under their command picks up anyway (probably from Soap idk, but others do call Ghost that). Was it like, 'Simon' or 'Si'? I know he calls Ghost Simon occasionally and maybe the quick shutdown of Soap's sentence comes from Ghost wanting to keep the emotional distance from others. But considering the absolute vitriol of which Ghost says, nay spits, "That'll do." I wonder if Soap has gotten away with introducing Ghost with the stupidest names, like 'Ghostie' or 'Sisi', in the past 💀

#ghost soap #ghostsoap #random fucking thoughts always and forever #i never stop thinking about them #how Soap survived introducing Ghost with stupid names is beyond me but it's probably for gay reasons #represeed gay reasons at this point #mw2 #cod mw2 #okay doing it in a very media critic character analysis way though #i think it establishes a very clear differentiation in the relationship between ghost and soap #that despite their prev missions and etc ghost still isn't at a point where he trusts others - even someone he has been deployed with for a #while with something like his introduction/name #he doesn't trust soap to not snark up or define his presence as anything but the way he wants it to be #professional //clinical //without closeness #probably because he recognizes soaps very casual golden retriever tendencies tbh #but yeah #giggles this dialogue exchange vs the shenanigans in the alone mission #character development my beloved

[queenerdloser]

i just finished dark heir

#me foaming at the mouth during the last chapters: HE IS! FUCKING! SAVING YOU! #i am huddled around will kempen hissing like a mama cat none of these fuckers are allowed to look at him #dark rise #okay but like. cyrian at literally every moment in the book you see will anticipating things and making connections #that you never make. doing things like a leader & being fucking smart and strategic. and your dumb ass really thought. #hm. must mean i shouldnt listen to him about the magic staff that can literally stop the end of the world. must be evil. #me: [screams into the abyss] #i know i cant expect characters to react like readers and they DID all react like i knew they would but god it was so infuriating!!!!! #and heart breaking! god!!!! god!!!!! will reliving his mother's initial betrayal over and over and OVER again #and thinking about all the little moments we get where the novel tells us: if these 'evil' characters had just been accepted #instead of tossed aside maybe they wouldnt have fallen. if they had been protected instead of killed maybe they would have #become protectors instead of killers. maybe if will's mom hadn't tried to butcher him for the sin of his own birth #he wouldn't have been so scared to tell people he lied to them. #anyway im not normal about will kempen and if book 3 doesnt give me his friends fucking accepting him i'll kill someone #me looking directly at visander: i dont care how charming you are i'll murder your ass about it #i read this book in like 5 hrs im being very normal about it

[medicalunprofessional]

life is wasted

#psychonauts #caligosto loboto #medical abuse cw #<-yeah i think.That covers it #nightmaretheater #so sorry if you were innocently checking my blog after the crowment and were blasted with this #i was going to do a bit of artistic censoring but.Nahhh #time on canvas : 6 hours #i had to watch some videos of a transorbital lobotomy being preformed for refference 😁 #god forbid i had my photos app open and someone looked over my shoulder and saw several screenshots #also Yes thats text from berenice. I cant be stopped #ohhh im so hungry.Chili for dinner…… #wait. i forgot my watermark #thats okay. Theyll know its me from the berenice quote /nsrs #also yeah the orbitoclast looks a bit small. its the angle. Trust me. Okay. #I dont know how to paint flowers . I….Kind of my first time.Sooorry #Sorry guys . Had to post Horrifiying Upsetting Art again. Will continue to happen #its kind of funny this barely looks like fanart #good. Cant wait for someone to stumble upon this and freak out when they realize it is indeed fanart #surprised this was. 6 hours? Looks down at my hands… Woah… #reminder: I am drawing on my phone i did not go to art school💞 #Okay time to collapse . Im really hungry #sorry . Just had to give my artists commentary