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#okay but listen i know most people who like zoos are like. ye they neat. but listen. look. zoos bring me so much joy and i just get so excit
barksbog · 3 years
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anyways i´m currently rebuilding the entire schönbrunn zoo in planet zoo so i can show my friends around in it and point at animals i like
also i just really miss going to zoos. it´s rough yall
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reniplier · 4 years
Conversation
WKM incorrect quotes
Dark: You're not aloud to fall in love with Y/N
Illinois: Wont be a problem.
Illinois a few hours later: THERES A PROBLEM.
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Y/N:*shows up late for meeting*
Dark: You're late.
Y/N:You're stunning
Dark:
Dark:...You're forgiven
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Wilford: Wait, what time is it? *Looks at microwave counting down*
Wilford: Fuck, its 36, Im late.
Y/N: Wil, no-
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Dark: I can't belive Mark betrayed us, why is it always the ones you expect the most?
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Dark: Y/N, have you ever considered having a child with me?
Y/N: You mean another one, because we already have three.
Dark: No...we dont?
Wilford, Yancy and Yan fighting over the same knife: Yeah. Dad, what're they talking about?
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Y/N: Why do you have a picture of a narwhal on your wall?
Wilford: I just think mythical creatures are neat.
Y/N:
Y/N: Wilford, narwhals are real.
Wilford:
Wilford: NARWHALS ARE REAL?!?!?
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Y/N: I hate you!
Dark: Oh yeah? Well, I hate you too!
Y/N: *tearing up* You what?
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Yancy: Studies show that you are cute.
Y/N: source?
Yancy: Myself.
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Wilford: Sooo… what’s it like dating Y/N?
Illinois: Once, I asked them for a glass of water while they were pissed at me, and they brought me a glass full of ice and said “wait.”
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Dark: I’ve been dropping subtle hints that I have a crush on Y/N.
Y/N: (walks past Dark)
Dark: (ignores them)
Dark: That went pretty well.
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Actor: *enters the room*
Dark: Ah fuck! See I thought I was gonna have a happy day but then you walked in.
Wilford: What’d did he do?
Dark: Bitch gotta exist.
Y/N: *turns to Actor* Why would you do that?
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Dark: (puts a piece of bread on both sides of your face)
Dark: What are you?
Y/N: Yours!
Dark while tearing up and voice cracking: Lame-
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Wilford: What are your kinks?
Yancy: This is kinda out there, but... love and support from people who love me as much as I love them.
Wilford: Corny. Anyways, I wanna be choked-
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Y/N: I wish I was a royalty.
Actor: You're my ruler, and this is our realm.
Y/N: *looking around the Mansion* This kingdom sucks.
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Yan: I invited you here because I crave the deadliest game.
Y/N,who spends too much time around Wilford.: Knife monopoly.
Yan: I was actually gonna hunt you down for sport, but now I’m really interested in whatever knife monopoly
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Y/N: Well,fuck me if I'm wrong but-
Actor: You're wrong.
Y/N: But-
Actor: *taking off his robe* YOU'RE WRONG.
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Wilford, at the zoo with Y/N: (pointing to the closest animal) What are they in for?
Y/N: You know this isn’t a prison, right?
Wilford: So they can just leave?
Y/N: Well...no.
Wilford: (pointing at a penguin) I bet that one’s in for murder.
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Actor: *crying*
Dark: Mark, whats wrong?
Actor: I don’t want to talk about it.
Dark: Thank god, because-
Actor: It all started years ago...
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Y/N: Why are you always so gloomy?
Dark: My tragic backstory only unlocks at friendship level: 3
Y/N: What level am I?
Dark: 58, so it all started when-
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Wilford: *Pulls out a knife*
Y/N: Oh no.
Wilford: *Opens a box with it*
Y/N: oh okay.
Wilford: *Pulls a gun out of the box*
Y/N: Oh NO-
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Y/N: I am seeing someone, but I am worried about telling you who, because you are not gonna like it.
Dark: Just rip the bandage off, Y/N, it can't be that bad.
Y/N: It's Mark.
Dark: Put the bandage back on.
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Dark: STOP USING Y/N AS A PUPPET.
Wilford: *swing Y/Ns arms back and fourth* BRING ME A SANDWICH, BITCH!
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Actor: I’m ignoring you.
Y/N:
Actor: I said I’m ignoring you!
Y/N:
Actor: Stop ignoring me ignoring you!
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Y/N: I’m willing to do a lot of things.
Y/N: But admitting to Dark that I’m cold after he told me to bring a jacket is not one of them.
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Actor: It’s not stalking. I’m just trying to create a situation where Y/N gets used to seeing me in their world!
Yancy: Stalking.
Actor: No. Casual random encounters.
Dark: Which you engineer – and it’s called stalking.
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Yancy: I need you
Y/N: For?
Yancy: Ever.
Y/N: *tearing up* oh-
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Wilford: I’d rather kill Actor than watch Y/N cry.
Y/N, vaguely upset: Hey guys, I sorta had a bad day-
Wilford, loading a gun: Motherfucker better be prepared to take his last breath.
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Illinois: Listen kid-
Y/n: Please, call me Y/n.
Illinois: I'd really rather not. If I named you, I could get attached.
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Y/N: I've got my scooter. I've got my boys.
Google: We are not their boys.
Everyone else in the mansion: Yes, yes we are.
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Y/N: Hey Wilf, can I go out with Yan?
Wilford: What did Dark say?
Y/N: He said no.
Wilford: Then why would I say yes?
Y/N: Because he’s not the boss of you.
Wilford, thinking.: This is a trap. This is a trap. This is a trap. This is a tr-
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Yancy: Y/N, you know Dark will never agree to this plan.
Y/N: Sure he will!
Yancy: I've already asked him three times, he won't do it
Y/N: Let me try
Y/N: *walks up to Dark* Can we-
Dark: Yes.
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Y/N: I have been building Bings trust for years with high-fives. Today I’m going to hit him with a “too slow.”
Y/N: Welcome to the real world, kid.
Google: *tearing up* Thats my s/o.
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Wilford: I’m 50% intelligence, 80% power, and 70% a natural hero.
Google: That’s 200% percent.
Wilford: I’m twice the man you’ll ever be.
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1dfangirls35 · 3 years
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The Language of Your Soul
An enemies to lovers ballet au in 5 acts
Masterlist // Tell Me What You Think
Banner: @booksncoffee​
Act II
Sorry for the intermission guys but I’m back! 
Warnings: This story (and chapter) will contain language, mentions of emotional abuse from a parent and eating disorders. Please read at your own discretion. 
Eight Weeks Until Opening Night
Giselle's left hand grips the cool metal of the bar, her legs shaking uncontrollably beneath her -a result no doubt, of her five mile run this morning before rehearsals. Maybe that hadn't been the best idea after all.
Giselle hears Teagan enter the studio after her, announcing her entrance with the loud thud of her duffle bag hitting the floor. Giselle watches as Teagan grabs her pointe shoes out of the bag, taking a seat on the floor a few feet away from Giselle.
Giselle hates that Teagan has to be here, taking part in Giselle's solo rehearsals. The role of Odette was challenging enough- a true feat of technical perfection and stamina. She didn't need Teagan, the person who could snatch her dream role out from under her with just a few missteps, to watch her struggle through her early rehearsals. It makes Giselle feel like she is the prey, and Teagan is lurking in the shadows simply waiting for a moment of weakness to swoop in and swallow her up.
"How are rehearsals with Harry going?" Teagan asks, breaking the silence.
"Fine," Giselle responds shortly. But rehearsals are not going fine. They are an all-out disaster.
In the week and a half since the cast list had been announced, Giselle and Harry had yet to practice beyond their scheduled company rehearsals and it was showing. Giselle had tried on numerous occasions to suggest they work on the basics on their own but Harry had pushed it aside saying, "You've just got to know the choreography better."  Giselle left every rehearsal feeling like a complete and utter failure- unworthy of dancing with the likes of Harry Styles.
"A dancer like that can make anyone look good," Teagan says with a tone that implies that Giselle needs some help "looking good". Giselle ignores the comment, instead, mentally running through the choreography for the Act II variation.
Anna Elliot interrupts Giselle's mental rehearsal as she enters the room. It's strange to see Anna in a black tracksuit instead of a leotard and tights, her dark black hair falling around her shoulders instead of pulled back into its usually neat bun. Her face looks tired; her usual bright smile absent. Giselle supposes it can't be easy for her to be on the other side of the stage, leading the rehearsal instead of dancing it.
"Ladies," she announces. "We are going to run through the Act II variation today. Giselle, you'll go first."
Giselle nods, pulling up the waistband of her white practice tutu as she positions herself upstage center in the studio. She tries to ignore Teagan's narrow eyes staring at her as the pianist begins  to play.
As she dances Giselle thinks through each and every movement. Smooth développé, lifted attitude, airy bourrées. When she finishes her chaîné turns at the end of the variation, she exhales deeply- not realizing how much she had been holding her breath.
She looks towards Anna for approval. "Nicely done Giselle. Now I'd like you to work on those  chaînés at the end. Really make sure they are tight and quick."
Giselle nods in understanding.
"But overall, beautiful execution of the choreography. We really just need to fine tune."
Giselle smiles smugly, glancing at Teagan who stands with her arms crossed over her chest.
"Teagan," Anna announces, gesturing for the understudy to take her stab at the variation. Giselle watches as Teagan runs the variation, but mentally she's thinking about all the things she could have done better in her own.
"Well done, Teagan. Now your attitudes were a little sloppy, let's work on really lengthening that back leg and lifting your chest okay?" Teagan nods. "But I loved the emotion that you put into your dancing. Giselle?" Anna calls, grabbing her attention. "Did you notice the emotion that Teagan puts into her movements? It's something that I'd like you to work on incorporating into your variation. The audience needs to feel what Odette is feeling through you. Let's do it from the top."
Giselle runs the routine again. She tries to 'portray the emotion' like Anna wants, but instead her heads caught up in executing her turns and keeping her arms sharp. When she ends the variation, Anna looks over at her with disappointed eyes. "More" is all she says.
Giselle runs it again. And another time. And each time, Anna tells her it is not enough. That Giselle needs to embrace being Odette. That the audience needs to understand the pain of her being trapped in this body of a swan with no escape.
"Teagan, why don't you run again. Giselle pay close attention this time."
Giselle feels her frustration grow as she watches Teagan again. Teagan's movements are still sloppy, and she messes up the step-over turns at the end, but when she finishes Anna looks over at Giselle like they've just watched the most magnificent performance. "That is the emotion I need to see Giselle."
Anna looks down at her watch. "Well I think our rehearsal time is up for today. Keep working on that emotion Giselle, its a very important part of this ballet."
Giselle nods and smiles, but inside her guts are wrenching at the thought of this rehearsal getting back to her mother. She has to do better. She must.
******
If Harry had learned one thing in his time as a professional ballet dancer, it was that relationships and commitments were the hidden poison of a professional dancer's career. He'd watched many sets of partners fall in love, only to ruin their careers in the aftermath of their failed relationship.
That is why Harry chose to remain unattached. Well, the why he chose to accept anyway. He wasn't a man that ignored his needs, but a night with Harry Styles was just that- a night. No feelings and no attachments.
Take for example the girl he took home last week after the party for his addition to the company. What was her name again? Eliza, yes that's right. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Eliza. She was pretty, a fair conversationalist and perfectly good in bed. Harry had supposed she must even be a decent ballerina, considering she was a corps de ballet member at the American Ballet Theatre. But to Harry, Eliza had only been a nice shag and a body to fall asleep next to on a night when a bustling New York City felt a little too lonely.
Apparently, however, Harry had been less than clear with dear Eliza about this, because as Harry chats with the tall, auburn-haired dancer standing in front of him as they warm up for company class, he can see the daggers of jealousy emitting from Eliza's eyes. He doesn't know this girl's name, the new one, but he can already sense the desire wafting from her body. The way she's learning forward to be closer to him as she stretches. The way she's laughing theatrically with every word that Harry says. The way her eyes are lingering on his lips for just a second too long as he speaks. He's beginning to think she might be a little much for him and makes a mental note to choose a different spot at the barre for tomorrow's company class.
He knows he's in trouble when the second the reverence ends, Eliza rushes over to him with and without saying a word slaps him across the cheek with more force than he thought possible out of her thin little arms.
Harry's skin stings from the blow, the corner of his eye watering ever so slightly. He presses a hand to the injured tissue in response to the attack. But this is not the first time Harry's received such an offense, and it likely won't be the last.
"So what are you just jumping on to the next one?" she shrieks. Harry looks around the room, noticing that people have stopped packing up their things and are now staring at him like he's a caged animal at the zoo.
"I'm sorry love, I'm not sure what you mean," Harry says in a low voice, hoping to signal to this highly emotional girl that this was not the time nor the place to have a reaction like this.
His words, however, appear to have the opposite effect because he watches her eyes flair with a new burst of anguish.
"Rachel!" the girl shouts, as if Harry has the foggiest idea who Rachel is. "Everyone in the room could see how much she was flirting with you. Did last weekend mean nothing to you?!" Eliza's thrown her hands up now, gesturing wildly in a way that's anything but graceful. "You said you would call and you never did."
Harry glances at his audience.  Mistress Ivanova is standing in  the corner with her arms crossed, looking less than pleased. He grabs Eliza's arm, pulling her towards the door and into the hallway. "Let's take this outside."
When they stop in the hallway, dancers bustling past them on the way to their next rehearsal. Eliza looks up at him. Her brown eyes are tinged with red and Harry wonders if she's about to cry. He'd made a mistake with this one clearly. She was too emotional. Too clingy. Too easily attached. "I never said I would call." Harry says softly, trying to keep his voice calm but firm.
"But you said you had a 'lovely time last night. Thank you.' Eliza sniffles.
She isn't wrong about that. Harry thought. And he did have a lovely time. He usually had a lovely time. But that certainly didn't mean he planned to repeat it. "I did have a lovely time Eliza." he begins, watching as her eyes flicker with something resembling hope. "But that doesn't mean I was going to call."
"It doesn't?" the girl sniffed, bringing her hand up to wipe a stray tear from the corner of her eye.
"Listen, love. I don't do dating. I don't do commitments. I don't do relationships. It's nothing against you. I'm certain you're a lovely girl. It's just..." Harry pauses. "How I do things."
Eliza looks at him wide-eyed, like Harry has just burst her forty-eight hour fantasy that they were going to run away together and travel the world and fall in love.
"I'm sorry if you got the impression that that was simply more than a one night thing. That was never my intention."
"Okay," she says timidly, and he can tell she's embarrassed. She shouldn't be- she wasn't the first girl to react like this. Harry seemed to draw admirers to him like mosquitos to sitting water. Some knew it couldn't be more than a one-night stand, others, like Eliza, reveled in the fantasy that they were the one that would convert Harry Styles into a life of commitment. The later were always disappointed.
"Are we good then? This won't happen again?" Harry raises his eyebrow. He's already fearing the repercussions he may get from Eliza's little outburst. He is already on a short leash here at ABT, and this was surely not going to help matters.
"We're good," she replies softly, but her face is filled with defeat.
"Well then, off to rehearsals." Harry adjusts his duffle bag across his shoulder and makes his way towards his rehearsal studio.
Harry already knows he's late when he enters the rehearsal studio. Giselle's standing there with her arms crossed, tapping the tip of her pointe shoe against the floor with impatience. She doesn't scare him, but the face of Mistress Ivanova when he enters the room does.
"Mr. Styles," she announces with a voice that resembles that of a mother about to lecture her young child. "Let me be the first to say that I take little interest in who you choose to spend your personal time with. When the choices made in that personal time, however, disturb my class and my rehearsals, it becomes my business. What happened today was completely unacceptable. And it will not happen again. May I remind you that you are on a very short leash here at ABT. Another incident like today and you will be replaced."
Six months ago, when Harry was at the Royal, he might have argued back. Reminded this instructor that she could replace him all she wanted but that people had bought their season tickets to see HIM- not some understudy. Reminded Mistress Ivanova that he could have a spot at any company in the world, and that it was HER job to make sure he stayed. But that kind of reaction, that thought process, was exactly what had landed him in this position in the first place- half a world away from home. Alone and at risk of losing a career in dance. So he bites his tongue and simply replies, "I understand."
He glances over at Giselle, who has something resembling a smirk across her face. When his eyes meet hers she quickly turns away.
"Now, we are going to work on the Act II white adagio today. I presume you two have spent some time together working on partnering so this should go smoothly." Mistress Ivanova claps her hands and signals the pianist to begin playing the music.
The fact that they hadn't practiced quickly becomes apparent. Their timing is completely off, the promenades are wobbly,  and the dancing seems forced and unfamiliar.
"Maybe if you weren't making your way through the entire corps de ballet we could actually rehearse together," Giselle mutters under her breath as Mistress Ivanova leaves the room with a face that looks less than pleased.
"Maybe if you didn't act like I was about to drop you every time we promenade..." Harry begins.
"How do I know you aren't going to drop me when we've barely danced together?!"
Harry laughs. "I'm Harry Styles. I don't drop my partners, no matter how...annoying I may find them."
"Oh please," Giselle rolls her eyes. "Are you trying to make everyone in this company hate you? I mean if you keep at it with the corps and you'll have to skip company class all together." Giselle preps for a pirouette then relevés, feeling Harry's firm grip on her waist as she turns and he stops her abruptly. "Although I don't know, I get the sense that you like all that attention."
"Believe me Giselle," he accentuates the end of her name like it's a bad sound. "The last thing I want is to get emotionally involved with any of these company members."
Giselle preps for a pirouette again, this time Harry stops her smoothly, and she comes to balance in passé before lowering herself back onto her heels.
"Seems like Eliza was emotionally involved this morning. Sex will do that to people."
"Sex is just dancing without clothes, love." Harry replies, and the way his eyes meet hers in the mirror while his hands are placed on her waist sends a shiver down Giselle's spine. "Haven't you ever spent the night with someone just to escape?"
"Of course." Giselle responds, stumbling in her words only slightly. "But I know the importance of keeping my career and my private life separate."
The truth of the matter was, of late, Giselle hadn't had much of a private life. It was ballet this, ballet that. Any hours not spent in the studio were spent icing her achying feet and tired muscles. Giselle had done it once, the whole relationship thing. He was a young businessman who she met at a fundraiser for the company and he had been wonderful. Until she began to spend time with him instead of in the studio, and her mother quickly noticed her regression of skills.
Natalia Korsakova had been quick to express her distaste in the relationship and the effect it was having on her daughter's dancing. But luckily (or unluckily) for Giselle, she didn't have to be the one to break it off. One night she was laying in bed, watching a movie with a man she thought she might be falling for. Two days later, he simply stopped answering her texts or picking up his phone. He simply dropped out of Giselle's life with no explanation.
After that, Giselle knew better then to get involved with anyone who might distract her from her career. She decided maybe it was for the better, after all if there was one theme to be taken from the world of ballet, it was that love rarely ended in happy endings. There were far too many leads who sacrificed their lives in the name of love and for what? A pretty pas de deux in a pancake tutu of the afterlife?
"Hmm," Harry replies, but by the way his lips have formed into a kind of half smirk Giselle doesn't think he believes her.
They run through the variation again. It's better, their timing not nearly as disasterous as it had been a half hour earlier, but it still feels off. Unfamiliar. Like they were two strangers dancing, which Giselle supposed they were.
Mistress Ivanova doesn't return to the studio. Instead, it's Viktor who appears, twisting his hands together in awkwardness as he steps towards the front of the room. "Mistress Ivanova sent me in to run you through the variation again. She says she doesn't want to see it again until it, and I quote," Viktor pauses for emphasis. "No longer looks like it's torture to dance with each other."
Giselle hears a low chuckle leave Harry's lips. Was he amused by this? The fact that his inability to do what was asked of him had pissed off Mistress Ivanova.
"Let's run it. From the top," Viktor gestures to the pianist that has also returned to the room.
Giselle sighs, taking a deep breath before making her way to the starting point. The run the piece once- Giselle falls from the promenade. A second time- Harry doesn't stop her on the last pirouette. The third time is less technically faulty, but when Viktor stops them again, his face looks less than thrilled.
"Look guys, I know it can't be easy, being thrown into rehearsals with someone you've never danced with before. All your issues can be fixed easily once you are more comfortable with each other. More familiar with each others movements. It's going to take time, and rehearsal. And that's going to have to be rehearsal outside of normal hours."
Giselle glances over at Harry. His lips are formed in a straight line- emotionless.
"Just please. Practice before next weeks rehearsal with her?" Viktor's eyes are pleading this time, like he doesn't want to have to be the bad guy in this situation anymore.
Giselle nods, but out of the corner of her eye she notices that Harry remains completely still.
"Well, that's all for today. Thanks guys." Viktor announces before leaving the studio.
Giselle sits down, untying the ribbon of her pointe shoes. "So when would you be available to practice?"
Harry scoffs. "Practice? I don't think I'm the one that needs to learn the fucking choreography."
Giselle is taken aback by Harry's harsh tone. But she wasn't going to put up with this. Like it or not she was Harry's partner. And like it or not, they were going to have to put in some time if they wanted to keep their roles as the stars of the show. Harry was simply going to have to realize that he had just as much to practice as she does.
"No one said anything about the choreography," Giselle replies, her voice strong. "This isn't the Royal, Harry you can't go walking around like you own the place."
"And you can?" Harry scoffs. "Just because your mother's got a spot on the board doesn't make you the star of the show, love."
The word love at the end of his sentence almost cushions the blow of his words. Almost.
"You don't know the first thing about my relationship with my mother," Giselle spit back.
"And you don't know anything about starring in a show-clearly."
Giselle doesn't respond to this one. Instead she just narrows her eyes. "Tomorrow night, after rehearsals. This studio. We have to practice Harry, I won't have Mistress Ivanova storm out of another one of our rehearsals."
"And what are you going to do if I don't show? Are you going to run and cry to your mummy?" Harry taunts.
Giselle stands, slinging her bag across her shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow," she states firmly.
She can feel her blood boiling as she exits the studio and makes her way towards the staircase. If this was what it was like to be Odette, maybe she wasn't cut out for it. It was hard to imagine a scenario and which her and Harry's partnership would result in a magnificent performance.
"Giselle!" she turns and sees Viktor from the corner of eye, near the end of the hallway. He rushes towards her.
"Good job today. Harry may not be the most..." he stops, his mind searching for the word, "enthusiastic partner."
Giselle offers a weak smile. "You can say that again."
"If you ever want extra practice, I'd be more than happy to run through any of the variations with you. It may not be the solution to all your problems but..."
"Thank you Viktor, I appreciate it." She smiles and makes a step towards the door. "Sorry to hear about your retirement by the way, I'll really miss watching you on stage."
Viktor shrugs. "I guess sometimes it's just time to let one journey come to an end. You won't miss me too much though, I'm gonna be more involved with rehearsals." He smiles, but Giselle can see that behind his blue eyes, pain hides.
"Good. Well, I better go get some rest. Caleb has been texting me non-stop about our dinner plans for the evening," Giselle gestures towards the stairs.
"Better get on that then, don't want to keep the man waiting. Good night Giselle."
"Goodnight," she replies.
******************************
Giselle wishes she hadn't agreed on dinner with Caleb as she opens the door to her apartment. But Caleb was her best friend, and after a long day of rehearsals, his company was something that she desperately needed.
As Giselle sets her black duffle bag on the floor inside her bedroom, her phone begins to ring on the kitchen counter. She leaps across the floor to reach it, but when she glances down, the name on the screen makes her pulse quicken. Could this day get any worse?
"Hello mother," Giselle brings the phone to her ear, walking over to the couch and laying down, her feet up in the air.
"Giselle," her mother replies curtly. There's no darling at the end of her name. That's how Giselle knows this isn't a happy check-in motherly phone call. It's going to be the kind of phone call Giselle wishes she could mute. But then again, that's what everyone of mother's phone calls was.
"I ran into Mistress Ivanova this afternoon. I have to say Giselle, I was quite disappointed when I asked about rehearsals and she told me that she had to leave your pas de deux rehearsal because of how much work needed to be done. How many times have we discussed the importance of going into rehearsals prepared?"
Only a million times. Giselle responds in her head, but instead she remains silent.
"Now what on earth is going on between you and Harry Styles? Do you know how hard we worked to bring him here? I hope you are being a good partner. Have you been following that diet I sent you? Getting your extra mile in in the mornings?"
"Yes mother," she responds in monotone. She won't mention the street tacos Caleb is bringing over for dinner. She can't listen to that lecture tonight. "I've been trying to get Harry to put in the extra time, but he seems uninterested."
"Well try harder Giselle. You can't be the reason he doesn't stay at the company. Can you imagine the embarrassment I would get if my own daughter was the reason we lost out on one of the premier male ballet dancers of this generation? I don't know if I could show my face at a board meeting ever again."
Of course it was her own reputation her mother was concerned about. It didn't matter that Harry Styles might ruin Giselle's chances of every making principal. All that mattered was that Natalia Korsakova maintained her legacy.
Giselle hears a knock at the door. Caleb, thank god. She rises from the couch and makes her way to the door. "Find a way to get things going with Harry.  Rehearse with him. Next time I speak with Mistress Ivanova I don't want to hear a negative thing about your performance." Giselle opens the door to see a smiling Caleb, brown paper bag in hand. "You have to do better Giselle, this may be your only opportunity to prove you can dance at a principal level."
Caleb mouths "Your mom?" and Giselle nods as he enters the apartment, setting the bag on the table and then making his way towards the white cupboards for plates.
"I know mom. It won't happen again. Listen, I've got to go. Caleb's going to run through Act II with me for a bit. Okay?"
"Okay," her mother sighs on the other line. Like it's a terrible inconvenience for her to have been on the phone for so long. "But don't forget to reach out to Harry about rehearsals too."
"I won't. Goodbye mom."
"Bye," Natalia responds, but Giselle barely hears her words before hanging up.
Giselle slams her phone down on the kitchen table which results in a raised eyebrow from Caleb "What'd she have to lecture you on today?"
"My disaster of a pas de deux rehearsal," Giselle shakes her head, making her way to the sink and filling a glass of water.
"And why was it such a disaster?" Caleb asks, setting a plate and napkin in front of Giselle's spot.
"Because Mistress Ivanova walked out on us,"
Giselle watches as shock fills her best friend's face. He stops what he is doing. "She what?"
"She walked out. And she won't rehearse with us again until we don't 'look like it's torture to dance with each other."
"It's that bad?" Caleb asks, now taking a bite of his taco.
"Worse. I mean it's been almost two weeks since cast posting and Harry has yet to agree to practice with me outside of rehearsals. I mean how our we ever going to dance with each other if we don't practice!"
Caleb opens his mouth to say something but Giselle continues. "I finally had enough today. I told him we are practicing tomorrow night. Doubt he shows though. And then what? My one chance to prove myself and it's a complete disaster."
"Gi," Caleb says, reaching for her hand across the table. "Take a deep breath."
She looks into his brown eyes and follows as they inhale and exhale in unison. It was an action they'd done a million times before, backstage awaiting their first performance as company members, when Caleb submitted his first choreographed routine to a local amateur dance company. It always seemed to bring them back to center, wherever they were, whatever the stressor, one deep breathe and things began to fall back into place.
Giselle would like to say that this worked a miracle. That the thought of failing her mother yet again wasn't racing through her mind. But it still was. Fainter, but still lingering.
"I just don't know what to do with him, Caleb. Harry Styles has to be the worst partner in the world."
"He's definitely proved why he got kicked out of the Royal. Guy's got an attitude."
"Why couldn't you be my partner?" Giselle sighed.
"Because, as Mistress Ivanova would say. I waste too much of my time on that choreography dream," Caleb sighs.
"It's not a waste of time, Caleb. You're choreography is groundbreaking."
"Maybe. Maybe not. But do you know what is groundbreaking? These tacos."
Giselle hasn't touched the fried, greasy mess wrapped in foil in front of her. To be honest, she isn't even hungry. If she had been alone in her apartment, she'd likely have opted for a salad, if anything at all. But Caleb was one of those people who believed food was the best cure after a long day. And Giselle needed his company more than anything, so she forces down the greasiness bite by bite.
Caleb begins to fill Giselle in on his own Swan Lake rehearsals. As well as the piece he is choreographing that he hopes Gregory, the artistic director will consider for the school showcase come spring. Then he updates her as always, on Finn, the coffee shop owner from down the street that he is infatuated with.
As they chat, Caleb's favorite street tacos grow heavy in Giselle's stomach.
Giselle makes her way to the bathroom, locking the door behind her with a click. She examines herself in the mirror, bringing a hand up to pull at her cheek. Her chin looks large, like she's had just a few too many street tacos, and her collarbones lack the definition that usually makes them stand out from her shoulders. Her mom's words echo through her mind. "Eat less Giselle. Exercise more Giselle. You need to be a good partner Giselle."
Giselle doesn't want to. She's been so good for so long, but yet- the urge is coming over her and it's so strong she can't ignore it, because she just knows that if she does this she will feel better. Just this once. Just until that heavy feeling of greasy street food is no longer lingering in her stomach.
She flips on the faucet, letting the sound of running water drum in the background.
She walks over to the toilet and kneels down, the gray ceramic tile of her bathroom floor is cold and hard, and her knees crack as she adjusts her weight. She leans over the toilet, her mouth open and her fingers nearby, willing up the strength to just do it. A few moments, and she could forget those tacos happened all together.
Giselle closes her eyes and executes and soon her dinner is staring back at her from the toilet bowl. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, reaching up and flushing the evidence. She then moves to the sink, cupping water into her hands until there's enough to gargle in her throat and rinse the sour taste from her mouth. She reaches for the pink toothbrush on the corner of the counter, applying a thin line of mint toothpaste before beginning to brush.
As she brushes, she tells herself this is just a one time thing. A solution to one poor dietary decision. She wasn't falling back into her old habits. This wouldn't happen again.
As she spit out the minty foam and looked in the mirror once more, Giselle told herself she felt better.
"Gi?" Caleb knocks on the door, bringing her out of her trance. "You alright in there?"
Giselle opens the door quickly, forcing a smile on her face. "Fine, tacos just didn't settle well." She pushes towards the couch, eager to get something else on her mind. "Shall we watch the next episode of The Crown?"
"Sounds perfect," Caleb replies, settling into the couch beside her.
**********************
Harry's not sure who is more surprised as he walks into the rehearsal studio later the next afternoon- Giselle or himself. He hadn't wanted to show up. But after the events with Eliza and the way rehearsal went, he knew he didn't have much choice. This didn't have to become a regular occurrence, just enough to get the Director off his back - and his obnoxious partner. Plus, dancing was better than sitting in his tiny New York City apartment alone, which seemed to have become even more lonely in recent weeks.
"Look who decided to make an appearance," Giselle says, hands on her hips as Harry slings his duffle bag to the side of the room.
"Yes I'm here. No need to gloat about it," Harry snaps. He wasn't sure what had come over him lately, this newfound bitterness. He supposed it had something to do with the fact that for the first time in his career, he was feeling the pressure of messing up. He could lose everything.
Harry had always been arrogant. He knew that about himself. It was the role he played to protect himself- from getting too close and getting hurt all over again. But as this personality trait slowly burned through his professional life, he began to wonder if it was doing more harm than good.
"Well then," he asks. "Shall we rehearse?" He looks at Giselle, who simply stares at him. The tip of her pointe shoe tapping against the Marley floor. What was she waiting for?
"Look Giselle, you don't like me. I get it. I'm not particularly fond of you either, but I showed up today and I'm ready to figure this out. This partnership. So can we please just rehearse?"
Giselle stares at him, slightly amused by the reversal of roles- the fact that for once Harry Styles was the one begging for her to practice with him. Her lips curve into a half smile. "Okay."
"I think we should go back to the basics. Finger pirouettes, whip turns, the whole lot." Giselle nods in agreement. Where had this Harry come from? She felt like at any moment she might jolt awake from her bed and realize this was all a dream, because this was certainly not the version of Harry Styles she had encountered during their first two weeks as partners. She wants to ask him about his sudden change of heart, but decides to bite her tongue. It didn't matter why Harry was here, just that he was.
Giselle stands in front of Harry her feet in relevé. She reaches for his hands, one above her and one beside her.
"How's that for grip?" Harry asks.
Giselle's startled that he's asking for her input. "Good...ya...let's just see..." She raises her leg to passé, then développé it to the front and turns. "Maybe bring my left arm a little more forward," she suggests, then turns again. "Yes that's better."
They continue this formula through the basics. Whip turns, fish dips, shoulder sits, promenades. Harry tells Giselle when she's not holding enough of her weight. Giselle tells Harry when his grip is too strong, too lose.
He's calmer today- more present. Giselle can see that he actually could be a very good partner- when he tries too. He's gentle with his lifts, steady with his balance, and although she doesn't trust him fully, she doesn't get the sense that he's going to purposefully let her fall on her face.
Giselle even thinks, that as she stares into Harry's eyes after a dip- that there's a glimmer of softness between the strong green hue. She sees why women find him attractive. Why girls in the corps fawn over him. His jawline was flawless- razor sharp. What are you thinking Giselle, she thinks to herself. All the beauty in the world can't hide his personality.
"Shall we run Act II?" Harry asks, and Giselle is shocked. She figured that she'd only be able to convince Harry to rehearse for an hour tops, and two had already passed.
"I think that would be good," she says.
Harry nods as they move to their places. Act II goes smoother than it has before. There's still hiccups. Giselle's body still feels unfamiliar in his hands and he can't anticipate her movements like he could Mia's- but Giselle's confidence has grown and he thinks there's a potential for this not to end in full on disaster.
She's quite good actually. Her technique is near flawless- no doubt due to the hours of late nights she spends in the studio. And Harry realizes that maybe he has been a bit unfair to her. She still was annoying, a perfectionist, too wrapped up in the movement instead of simply dancing- but she was a good dancer. She had potential.
"Think that's enough for tonight," Giselle pants, out of breath from their third run-through of the pas de deux. "Shall we do this again tomorrow?" After the words leave her mouth, she wonders if this is pushing it to far. Maybe she should have settled for one rehearsal with Harry. Getting him to show up for to rehearsals two nights in a row seemed highly unlikely.
"Okay," Harry responds, his answer shocking even himself. "I think we are getting somewhere. It just takes time." He makes his way over to the bar, leaning forward to stretch his hamstrings.
Giselle sits on the ground, unwrapping the silk ribbon of her pointe shoes.
"You know the steps Giselle and I'll make sure you look good out there. Promise," he says, and Giselle thinks that maybe she can see even a hint of a smile.
Giselle pulls her foot out of her shoe, folding her tights back to reveal her stinging blistered feet. She glances over at Harry, his face buried against his leg at the bar- his tights showing off his perfectly toned leg. It makes her think about him- the rumors about his arrival at ABT. She knows she shouldn't ruin the moment but she can't help herself. The words slip out.
"Did you do it?"
"Do what?" Harry asks, but the smirk on his face tells Giselle that he already knows exactly what she is about to ask about.
"Sleep with the director's wife."
"What's it to you?" Harry mutters, placing his other leg on the barre and stretching against it, the muscles of his back growing taunt beneath his white T-shirt.
Giselle shrugged. She didn't know why she was asking. She didn't care. Whatever had transpired at the Royal to bring Harry Styles into her studio was said and done. It's not like she could ship him back there, much to her dismay. "Just wanted to know if there was any fact behind the rumors."
"I could have," Harry says the sharp green of his eyes temporarily dimming. "There are countless women who have thrown themselves at my feet during my career, Mrs. Abbot included."
"But if you didn't... why'd you leave the Royal?"
"Now why would I tell you that when there's such a good story brewing in the company? I hate to kill a good rumor," He chuckles, his voice deep and velvety. He picks up his bag, sliding it across his body in one fluid movement. "Goodnight Giselle. I'll see you tomorrow."
And for the first time Giselle found herself not watching Harry Styles walk away with a feeling of distaste, but a feeling of curiosity.
Taglist:
@tpwkhoney​ ,  @swtxel , @stylessugarhigh
73 notes · View notes
cheri-translates · 4 years
Text
[CN] Kiro’s Treasure Date (Eng Translation)
🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers! 🍒
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Note: A bullet-point summary, but important scenes have detailed translations!
I think @kudoriee will enjoy this :>
The birthday event basically talks about how KEY likes leaving Kiro puzzles. On one particular day, Kiro solves a pretty tough puzzle which leads him to the amusement park
At first, he thinks he solved the puzzle wrongly because he doesn’t see KEY around, but the amusement park starts blasting birthday music
KEY literally hacked into the system
He appears, and the two of them have wholesome fun
Kiro asks why KEY played birthday music
Baby Kiro doesn’t know when his birthday is...
He literally asks, “Why is it my birthday today?”
And KEY says that since Kiro had so much fun today, they might as well consider it Kiro’s birthday (T口T)
KEY: Kiro, you must definitely remember this date. I might not spend every 9 April with you, but I hope that when this day arrives each year, you will spend it next to someone you like, and who likes you.
Kiro: A person I like and who likes me... will they always be by my side?
KEY: Of course. Because Kiro is the most amazing and most adorable kid in the world.
Kiro: Mm! Oh, when little kids have birthdays, they eat cake and make wishes.
KEY: Pff, you really only know how to eat. Come, let’s go have a birthday cake. 
For his school homework, Kiro is supposed to draw his idea of a home. He draws it (further details will be in the date), but feels that something is missing
He draws a small white bunny next to his name.
Even though he has never owned a rabbit, he knows that there’s a little rabbit waiting for him in a corner of the world.
He repeats the same wish he made the day before.
“Welcome to my home,” Kiro says softly.
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The actual date begins with MC in the office, with Kiki wondering what she’s doing there since she was supposed to be celebrating Kiro’s birthday
Turns out Kiro gave her a map with a set of hints to find clues, and the first stop is the office
Kiro gives her a phone call and helps her find the clue, which leads her to a department store
She retrieves a hotel card from a locker in the department store
At the hotel, she sees Savin stationed downstairs because Kiro was afraid MC wouldn’t be able to find the location
Kiro is in the hotel room preparing for a live broadcast
MC gives him his birthday gift, but he decides to wait till after the live broadcast before opening it together with her
In her hotel room next door, she finds her favourite tidbits on the table, and a set of sleeping attire (a pink rabbit pyjama set).
There’s also a note at the side which reads: “The treasure hunt has been tough on you! Miss Chips, have something to eat and have a nice bath, then rest for a while (° ▽ °*) ”
She watches the livestream in her room
The livestream has a candle-blowing segment, wish-making segment, and Kiro even sings a few songs for his fans
MC leaves a comment, asking if Kiro had any memorable birthdays in his childhood
Surprisingly, Kiro catches the comment
Kiro: When I was young, I had a very cool “boss”, who was also my guardian. He liked giving me all types of puzzles to solve.
Kiro: You’re wondering what kind of prizes I'd get after solving them? Back then, it was sweets and biscuits of course.
Kiro: However, there was one extremely difficult puzzle! I thought about it for a very long time before finding the answer in music. 
He plucks at the strings and plays a short, lively tune. 
Kiro: You should have all heard this before. It was the background music of an amusement park near my house when I was younger. This incredibly cute song was like a signal between me and my boss.
Kiro: As expected, when I ran to the amusement park, he was there waiting for me. And that day... was also my birthday. Reliving happy memories while solving puzzles is something my boss taught me.
Kiro: After spending an extremely~ happy day in the amusement park, I still remembered to finish my homework the next day!
Kiro: The homework was a drawing, and I drew the home in my heart. In my home, there’s a flower field. Within it, there are people who like me, and whom I like, all surrounding me, listening to me sing. This is what I think of as my happiest and most blessed thing. 
Seeing the screen filled with “What an interesting birthday!” “Childhood Kiro was a small genius too!”, I bite my lower lip.
I retrieve the stack of neat maps from my pocket, a tightening sensation in my chest. 
I know that what he said about puzzles and signals was meant for the person across the wall - me. 
He gave me a puzzle on his birthday. The important thing wasn’t the answer, but the key to memories. Every location on this map hides precious memories that Kiro and I shared. 
The livestream ends and she heads to Kiro’s room
Kiro: Miss Ch-
Before he finishes speaking, I have already opened my arms, lunging into his chest. 
MC: Happy birthday, Kiro!
Kiro: Didn’t you already say it once when you gave me the present just now?
MC: As long as it’s your birthday, I can say it an unlimited number of times!  
Kiro: Okay, when it comes to your birthday, I’ll say it an unlimited number of times too!
While speaking, he lifts me up in a hug and swirls me around. We fall onto the soft bed.
The fluffy feather pillows and balloons bounce lightly in response to our weight, and fall to our sides. 
Kiro: I didn’t think you’d really change into the bunny pyjamas!
 MC: Eh? Weren’t you the one who prepared it for me? 
Kiro: Of course it was! Oh right, wait for me... just a while!
HE RETURNS, WEARING A BEAR ONESIE
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Kiro: Deng deng deng! The birthday party is over, now the pyjama party shall begin!
MC: Eh... how is this a pyjama party. It’s clearly a zoo party!
Kiro: If it’s a zoo, so be it. Little animals are so cute!
He sits beside me, and is about to say something when his phone rings. 
The person on the call is a silver-haired woman - a singer called Saidel Eva - who wishes him a happy birthday. Eva comments that she knows who MC is, because he mentioned that MC is his muse. While she’s stunned, Kiro holds her hand.
Kiro: Mm, she’s not only my artistic muse, but also the most important person in my life. 
MC: [blushing] I’m not... not as amazing as he says...
Right after I finish speaking, the hand on mine slowly entwines with my fingers.
The warmth emanating from his palm causes my heart to calm down.
MC: However... since he has already put it that way, I’ll work hard to become his muse. Because Kiro... is also the most important person to me. 
Eva: Ah, what a cute lady.
She lets out a light huff and turns her eyes back to Kiro, blue orbs filled with approval. 
Eva: I’m guessing your wish has already been fulfilled, am I right? 
Kiro: Yes. 
Eva: I wish the both of you happiness, and enjoyment in life. 
Kiro: Definitely, madam.
He finally opens the gift - it’s a black necklace with a black round pendant surrounded by a few gold coloured small stars. In the middle, there’s an engraved word “KIRO”
It’s a one-in-the-world necklace designed by MC
The necklace is made of siderite from a meteor, and the gold portions are made from star fragments (I’m not entirely sure about the names because I’m not familiar with minerals)
MC notes that it was only after breaking through the atmosphere that these minerals could come to earth
Just as these minerals are ‘gifts’ to the earth, Kiro is a gift to MC
After wearing it for a while, he puts it back into the box, and realises there’s something inside the necklace
 MC tells him not to open it yet, and tries snatching it away from him
She falls into his arms instead <3
So she angrily throws a pillow at him
He stuffs the necklace into his pocket and they engage in a pillow fight
SO CUTE
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Kiro declares himself the winner
MC says he cannot open the watch until she's gone
Since he’s in a good mood, Kiro agrees 
They lie together on the bed to chat, exhausted from the pillow fight
MC: Come to think of it, the boss you were talking about during the livestream - was he KEY?
Kiro: Mm, he taught me a lot of things. 
MC: So the reason why you gave me the map, and let me solve the puzzles, was because you wanted to have a signal with me? 
Kiro: That’s one of the reasons, but more importantly... 
While he speaks, he slowly hooks onto my fingertips.
Kiro: Miss Chips and I don’t get to meet often because of all sorts of things, and I know that waiting is a painful process. 
He mutters his response, fastening his fingers tightly with mine, his face half-sinking into the mattress as he reveals a faint smile. 
Kiro: Which is why I don’t want you to feel bored while waiting for me. I hope each time we meet would be a step closer in our journey towards happiness.
MC: Kiro...
Kiro: Now that I think about it, KEY has really taught me a lot. Whether it’s knowledge related to hacking, or in understanding this world. 
MC: Understanding this world? 
Kiro: Mm. It’s that phrase, “you may be in darkness, but your heart is turned towards the light.”
Kiro: When I was still in chaos, these words were my direction. I believe that someday in the future, I will fulfil my dream, and do what I want to do, which includes... meeting the person I’ve been waiting a long time for.
With this, he looks at me quietly, his blue eyes hiding the bright starry sky.
Almost as if telling one not to look away.
My voice becomes incredibly soft, as though it’s floating in the universe. 
MC: You are also... the person I’ve been waiting a long time for.
Sleepiness overtakes my senses in the midst of his tender voice and gaze, but I can still remember to emphasise once more:
MC: Happy birthday, Kiro. Whether or not it’s your birthday, whether it’s today, or tomorrow, or any day in the future, you will always be incredibly happy. 
Kiro: Mm. With you around, I’ll definitely be incredibly happy.
Hearing these words, which sound like a promise, I peacefully and slowly close my eyes. 
In the haziness, I seem to feel a small feather falling on my eyelid.
It is tender and warm, as though it can breathe. 
Kiro: Goodnight. 
The kiss doesn’t disturb the girl’s light slumber. Kiro laughs lightly, and takes out the necklace from his pocket. 
Twisting the switch, the siderite cracks apart to reveal a hidden note.
The note reads - “Oh no, you’ve found the Easter egg > <”
On the other side is a link to a website. 
Thinking about the girl’s sly thoughts when designing such a gift, Kiro laughs again.
He retrieves his notebook computer from the bedside, inserts the link, and finds a downloadable voice pack.
He puts on his earphones and taps on the first voice recording.
MC: Heheh, you didn’t think this would be the second part of your birthday present right? We always have to part temporarily because of all sorts of things. In order for you not to miss me too much, I decided- dang dang! To present you with an MC alarm clock! 
MC: It’s time to wake up! If you don't get out of bed soon, Savin’s anger is going to fill to the brim~
MC: Has Kiro eaten his meals today?
MC: When you’re engrossed in work, don’t forget to protect your eyesight. One, two, three, four, the eye exercises shall begin!
MC: Before saying goodnight, remember to send me updates!
MC: Kiro, welcome home!
Every voice recording, no matter how long or short, is filled with the concern she has for him. 
Hearing the girl’s voice in his hear, Kiro’s lips curl upwards. 
Both of them always think of their own ways to fill in the blank spaces of time, painting them in colours belonging to each other. 
Kiro: Miss Chips...
Kiro leans down to stare at her sleeping face. He speaks in a way that only the two of them can hear clearly.
Kiro: The picture I mentioned in the livestream... I hid a small secret in it that only I know of. I want to share it with you. I drew a small rabbit. She’s my favourite, favourite new friend.
Kiro: Miss Chips, welcome to my home.  
Phone call: here
Video call: here
151 notes · View notes
cynicalhag · 3 years
Text
A
Achievements:
I graduated high school. I survived being suicidal multiple times. Those are two achievements. 
Age:
21.
Are you planning something right now?
Not really. 
Arizona or Alaska:
Alaska? Idk.
B
Birthdate:
September 6th 1999.
Build:
Tall and slim.
Babies, do you have any?
I’ve got my cat who is my baby. No kids. 
Blonde or Brunette:
Brunette.
C
Childhood sweetheart:
I never experienced any romantic feeling as a kid. Never had that until I was like 14.
Current mood:
Meh. Okay.
Children, are there more in your future?
I don’t want any kids. I don’t like children and I don’t trust in my ability to raise a human. The risk of me passing on mental illness is also too big. I don’t wanna create a suffering human.
Coke or Pepsi:
Pepsi, which I know is very enraging to people. Sue me.
D
Dad's name:
Stefan.
Dating anyone:
No.
Do you plan on having lots of money?
Haha, I’m studying to become a nurse. What do you think?
Dogs or cats:
Cats. But I like dogs too. I’ve just had cats my entire life and I love them.
E
Elementary School:
It was at a small school in my hometown.
Eye color:
Blue? Grey? Just a puddle of something.
Ever going to China?
I’ve never made plans to do so but I’d certainly go if the opportunity arose.<<
Early or Late:
Early. I am a pessimist in life in all ways, including time.
F
First Crush:
His name is Robin and the crush lasted for about two days lol.
Fears:
Losing loved ones is a big one for me. Being alone and isolated. Loss of community is what kills people. Men is also a big one.
Future goals:
I want to become a nurse and work in a bunch of fields. I wanna stay in eldercare, but I’d also love to work at a hospital, specifically at a neurology unit. I am so interested in neurological diseases like Parkinsons, stroke, MS, ALS, dementia. I’d also like to try working at a geriatric unit or at a psychiatric unit.
Funny or Serious:
I think I’m a pretty serious person. But I have humor too. It depends on my mood.
G
Grandparent's names:
My paternal grandparents’ names were Astrid and Henning. My maternal grandpa’s name was Lennart and my granny’s name is Barbro. She is the only one that’s still here. 
GPA:
I’m not American but when I graduated high school my average in grades were Cs I think.
Going anywhere this weekend?
Just work.
Giver or Taker:
Giver.
H
High School:
It was a media and arts school here in the city. I graduated in 2018.
Hair color:
Brown.
Hate anyone for life?
I will probably always hate my bully. He ruined me and has still left a mark.
Hairspray or Gel:
I don’t use either. I just use dry shampoo, hair oil and saltwater spray when it comes to hair styling.
I
In 8th grade, who was your best friend?
Therese and this girl called Julia, but she soon became an ex friend that year.
Is ignorance bliss?
Maybe for you, but your ignorance is likely hurting someone else.<< Wow. True.
Is there anything you wanna share?
Not really.
Ice Cream or Cake:
Ice cream. I don’t care for cake.
J
Jumped rope for fun:
Yep, we did that a lot in middle school. 
Junk around you right now?
No. It’s pretty tidy in here right now.
Joining anything anytime soon?
Nope.
January or July:
July. I think I prefer the middle of summer over the middle of winter.
K
Killed anyone:
Nope. Maybe? No. Or?
Keeping a secret?
Yes. 
Kicking someone off your top friends today?
I never had Myspace. 
Kiwi or Apple:
I love a good crunchy green apple.
L
Lost anyone close to you:
Not really? I’ve lost people in my life but it’s never felt like a disaster for me.
Last kiss, when and who:
It was in 2017 at a party. Love that for me.
List 3 people that you'll love forever:
My mom, Ri and Ellen.
Lover or Fighter:
Somewhere in between maybe.
M
Middle School: 
The same school where I went to elementary. Middle school was ROUGH.
Marital Status:
Single.
Mom's name:
Gunnel.
Music or TV:
Depends on my mood. I can’t listen to music while not doing anything. I need to do a chore or something in the meantime. So I’d rather watch TV if I’m just at home doing nothing. But I love music, of course.
N
Northernmost state you've been to:
I’ve only been to New York. Never been anywhere else in America.
Nickname:
People at work call me Josse or sometimes Jossan. Ellen calls me nean. 
Name your future boy and girl:
I don’t want kids, as I said.
Naughty or Nice:
Neutral third party?<< Let’s go with that.
O
Opened a piece of mail that wasn't yours?
Not without permission. 
Occupation:
I’m an orderly at a nursing home. 
Owe anyone money:
No. Which is nice. 
Outgoing or Shy:
I used to be shy but not anymore. I’m a little awkward sometimes but I’m not shy.
P
Place you most want to be?
Idk.
Purposely destroyed someone’s life?
No. I’m not evil.
Planning a major trip?
No, obviously. But when it’s okay, I am definitely going to Belgium to be with Ellen.
Pink or Black?
Black.
Q
Quit a class:
Yes. I dropped out of photography and math level two in high school.
Quickly...the first word to come to mind:
Teacher.
Quitting your job soon?
No. I love my job, my work group and my boss. My work situation is great. Despite the obvious things that I can’t change, like the working conditions for healthcare staff in general but particularly for eldercare workers. I love this job and I want to stay in it for as long as I can. I might get exhausted by it eventually or ruin my body. Then I will change. But I do want to work in healthcare for the rest of my life.
Quiet or Loud:
Right now, I want quietness around me. 
R
Riding in an airplane:
What?
Ride, tell me about yours:
I don’t have a car or a driver’s license. I’ve got a bike though? It’s a white bike. What’s more to say?
Running for any political office in the future?
Nope. I used to be into politics but now I’m just cynical about everything.
Rain or Snow:
Snow. I’m so glad winter finally came. It is so beautiful outside right now.
S
Siblings names and ages:
Matilda, 29 and Mattias, 26.
Shoe size:
38 or 39. 
Shave daily?
No.
Shower or Bath:
Shower. Though having a bath would be kinda nice ngl. But is it really my thing? Idk.
T
Turning 21 was (will be):
Underwhelming. I worked and nothing else happened. I got some presents from loved ones but the actual day was just a normal day. And mentally, I didn’t feel any different.
Texas, ever been?
No and I feel no interest in going there. 
Think you'll live to be 100?
No and I don’t know if I want to. 
Tame or Wild:
Wild.
U
Unique quality about you:
I genuinely don’t like kids. I don’t find them cute or anything. 
Underwear on?
Yes.
Under your bed lies:
The cardboard box that my TV came in cause I wanna save it for when I’m moving but I don’t have a storage space to keep it in.
Under or Over:
Over or under what?
V
Virgin?
I would consider myself a rotten hag who’s been on antidepressants for a long time. 
Vacation time left?
A lot probably. I took out two weeks this summer but that’s it.
Voting in the next Presidential election?
I’m not American but I will vote in the next Swedish election. I may be cynical but I will always vote. 
Volleyball or Swimming:
I guess swimming? I hate ball sports. But I’m also afraid of water, sort of. 
W
Went white water rafting?
No and I would be way too terrified. 
Wearing right now:
Sweatpants, a t-shirt and my Adidas sweater.
Write a sentence about you:
Josefin knows everything about different brands of adult diapers and that is a depressing fact about her life. 
West Coast or East Coast:
Here? I’d love to visit the west coats and Varberg. It’s beautiful there.
X
X-Rays in the past month:
Zero.
X-Mas plans:
I went to my parents’ house and spent it with them, my siblings and grandma. We had food, played some board games and opened presents. It was not too different to a normal christmas since we’re rarely a lot of people. It felt weird to be around grandma though, but I kept my distance and made sure that I didn’t have any symtoms or anything. 
X, does it mark the spot?
Yes?
X-Tina or Britney?
Who even is X-Tina? 
Y
You lost "it" when?
Oh I always feel like I’m losing it.
Your favorite song:
Idk. I’ve been listening a lot to Creeper’s most recent album and also Misfits. 
Your favorite place on Earth:
I loved Lisbon and I think a lot about being there.
Yes or No:
No.
Z
Zodiac Sign:
Virgo.
Zodiac Sign: 
^
Zippos are neat, agree?
No opinion.
Zoo or Circus:
Neither. We don’t support animal cruelty in 2021.
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moonlightstars16 · 4 years
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Chapter 13 ~ Two Doors Open, One Shut
AN: Hey so I know I put out a schedule not too long ago. However I’m loosing inspiration(s) for this story and yes I will finish it. But I might just do it when I can. I’ll try to stick to the schedule.
The rain from the outside continue to pour down. Tapping the 'glass' on the window. The time was about midnight, as the clock struck and chimes echoed all over the place. The fireplace was barely holding onto it's light; as the tiny sounds of cracking wood revealed the small ember inside. However the candelabra's illuminated the area where two people were sitting near the warmth of the fire. Smiling and well deep into a good book.
Steven found himself clinging to Connie's every word. Not just because the story was well written, but for the gentle voice that spoke the words. It was unique to say the least. Being soft one minute and the next doing a crazy tone for every character. He found it to be quite enjoyable. Which was odd because he hadn't found any interest of stories being told to him like this before.  At least not in many years.
"And this concludes chapter five." Connie spoke putting a bookmark on the page and closing it as a yawn escaped her lips.
"So we are stopping there?"
"Oh? Does his highness want more?" Her teasing tone made him roll his eyes.
"Well things did end when it was just getting good. Everything seemed so dull at first."
"A good build up and backstory is perfect for any story and it's characters!" She scoffed putting the book back on the small table beside her.
"Not if it takes three of those chapters to get there."
"With certain books I agree. But this sets everything up so well and leaves even more details in mystery! Besides I like the friendship between our two main leads. But it takes time for them to get there."
They both sighed out in exasperation. Obviously neither of them will agree fully to one side. But that didn't matter much in the grand scheme of things. Connie was proud of him for at least giving this a chance. Though she doubted her own vision and thought it to be an hallucination, she saw the twinkle in his eyes. Something she only ever seen only once before.
"You're smiling?"
"Oh" Lifting up her hand she braised passed her lips and cheek. Sure enough they were pointed upwards, exactly like a smile. "I suppose I am."
"Am I to suppose you've find it pleasurable reading out loud to me?" A malicious look in his eyes (playfully so).
"I-...I wouldn't say pleasurable... I guess I would say...perhaps it was...nice. Yes it was very nice to do something like this."
" 'Nice', hm... Well I shall take that as a compliment. After all you wanted me here to see if this helps me reconnect to my humanity. Or is it because you actually like spending time with me?"
"You know it might be both." The words slipped so casually in the conversation that she covered her mouth quickly while looking away. This wasn't going to pass by him so easily. Her words took him aback as silence fell while he registered the meaning. A smirk appeared across his face as he took the opportunity to tease her so.
"Do my ears deceive me? Or that's your way of telling me you like me."
"That's not what I meant-"
"Oh that's not what I heard. Plus you also stated that our time together was nice. Am I wrong?"
"No, but I...ugh!" She buried her face in her hands as a roaring fit of laughter emerged from within briefly before fading away.
"Oh Connie what am I going to do with you?" Standing up he extended his hand with hers. Waiting as she slowly accepted it. Feeling something inside her stir as her hand touched his. Though separated by a piece of leather fabric, the warmth from inside radiated off him. With a pull, slightly more forceful than normal, he pulled her up as she stepped closer to him to keep her steady. The boots she wore almost tripped her up. The mid-sized skirt tied to her by a corset and off the shoulder blouse, swayed gently in the brisk breeze that appeared when she stood up.
His eyes found hers as he looked into the beautiful doe-like eyes. One of her most unique features to her beauty. The tiny locks framed her face so elegantly. Even if to some it was all messed up and not so neat. His hand still clinging to her own as they did nothing else but gaze into one another's eyes.
The loud crack from the logs in the fireplace snapped them out of it. Both clearing their throats, hands still intertwined as he began to walk away, leading her out the door. Her pace matched his to the point they were side by side as they stepped through the hallways and up staircase's to her room.
"I shall expect you with Pearl tomorrow morning. Since you need all the information you can get." Connie nodded her head, slipping her hand away from his and opening the door and stepping inside. Pausing to turn back around as her curious nature took hold. Well more needing confirmation as of late.
"How long till the project is underway?"
"Only nine months."
"I-....I never realized how long it's been...only three months since I-...." Sighing, her hand slid slightly down the edge of the door.
"Humanity will survive... Rest well Connie." With that he turned away, returning to his own chambers as she watched him walk down the hall and disappear. The sincere gentle tone she heard filled her with warmth inside. Closing the door she leaned her back against it. Placing one hand over her middle and the other right above her heart. Closing her eyes as she breathed in and out.
"You too Steven."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The castle's midnight screeching came from one hidden area deep down below. The sound echoed through the walls just barely. It was similar to a ghost and so the residence inside dubbed these hours, the haunting. At least those who understood the concept of souls and spirits. Connie was laying in bed when it began, her thoughts of the previous few hours invaded her mind. The ghostly wales brought her back to the present moment. Glancing out the window she caught a glimpse of the Zoo. Briefly wondering if the sound originated from there. However the noises faded and she slipped back into her dreams.
Steven was sitting by the fireplace with his hands folded. Ignoring the world around him other than the flames that seemed to dance in his presence. He too thought about the hours prior with her. How natural it all came to be. The comfort of just being around her and the satisfaction of listening to the story she spoke out loud. Not realizing it, a smile graced his lips as a longing gaze began to form.
'See? What did I tell you.'
'She only read a book.'
'And you listened to her every word'
'It was a good story.'
'Then why is your heart pounding every time you think of her or the mention of the name...Connie?"
'I-....'
His other half was right. Clutching his chest he felt it. The pounding of his heart. A look of realization about what was happening took over. Eyes widened as his hand went to his mask and gulped. It was hopeless to dream of such things like this.
'Keep allowing her to be in your heart. You'll see-'
'Shut-up'
Steven told her before about who he truly was. She has seen it himself...
'Why is she willing to help me? Why hasn't she given up yet?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another slash across the skin. Another scream. Another victim. Topaz had brought a new human from the zoo into the torture chamber. Ruby held the scared and confused specimen down while Aquamarine used a syringe full of sedatives to paralyze the next test subject. Getting annoyed by how much it squirmed as it seemed to her eyes Ruby wasn't doing the job very well. Finally after she hit the human's head with her wand and they stopped resisting, finally able to inject the elixir of sorts into the blood stream.
"Okay, let's inform Spinel that this one is ready for the torment."
"What does this sedative do?" Ruby asked chaining up the human by the wrists and ankles. Aquamarine looked into the empty syringe which held just a drop of it's contents from before.
"It's suppose to be all that we've tried so far."
"You mean immobility, unable to speak, and the memory loss?"
"Precisely, however the heightened senses of feeling pain is new. If this is a success, then everything will soon be ready for our final phase in the plan."
"Well we certainly won't know until I give this a test run." Spinel walked into the dimly lit cell from the shadows.  A cloak wrapped around her shoulders, inside her whip, a sharp blade, even darts just for fun. Behind her was a dozen more cells filled with other test subjects. Some in 'better' shape than others, some worse.
She needed to find the perfect torture technique. One that will make a certain hybrid very impressed. Enough to have him draw blood on his own volition. To have him become the beast he was before. Unleashing all his destructive powers. Only she would have complete control over him. They would rule together and soon she would be the only one holding all the power in her hands. He needed to only be reminded of what he is.
A monster.
"Leave me." Spinel commanded pointing towards the cell door. Both gems complied without hesitation. Turning her attention back on her victim as she shut her eyes and laughed inwardly. Shoulders moving slightly as she took off her cloak.  Pulling out the small dagger with one hand, the other with a whip. Advancing towards the human with it's back turned to herself. Slipping the sharp metal between the back and the belt. With a flick of her wrist she snapped it apart.
The blue vest now hanging open enough for her to lift it up with the blade. Tearing it apart from the body. Only the white cloth pieces remain. That she left alone, for blood that was so contrasting in color would surely grasp the attention. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of the bare skin. So smooth with veins protruding from underneath. Tempting her with the promise of blood just a deep scratch away. Her vision became clouded with the promise of blood. Her eyes narrowing as she licked her lips.
It began centuries ago. Pink became Rose Quartz. The Diamonds had dismissed her entirely about earth an it's beauty. White 'punished'  her by manipulating the form Pink held against her and began to cause her pain. The cries from it all rivaled Blue's power as she begged and pleaded for her to stop. Apologizing for her actions and formed back into a much submissive state.
Spinel had watched it all along with Pearl. Something inside her snapped as she tried to stop all this. However Peal held a firm grim on her, almost to the point where she could poof out of her form. Glancing up she saw the pain through her eyes she held. It was becoming more and more clearer that Pearl had deep, hidden feelings for Pink.
But to outsiders, they were blind to it all. Moment's like this made her ache in pain and anguish, wanting to help. Spinel knew that very well. However she knew that it had to be this way. She had to wait and watch. Not only for her survival, but for keeping Pink safe from any further torment.
Spinel watched in confusion as her Diamond cried out in pain. For the first time seeing her so weak, pitiful and defenseless. Whatever this was, she didn't like it coming from her. So when Pink bursted through the walls to meet them, having the appearance of Rose Quartz fully, she hugged her tight in her arms. They were best friends after all and nothing would change that. Rose smiled and gently embraced her with a hug in return.
A year after the rebellion and themselves hidden away on earth, Spinel felt the distance between her and Rose. From time to time they would 'play' together, but it felt more like a chore, a check on a list instead of something really meaningful. Spending less and less time together as Rose hung out with the human, Greg, more and more than herself or even Pearl.
One day while walking on the cliffs overlooking the sea, she found Pearl sitting on a small boulder, watching the sun set. She joined her without a word spoken. Both shared a similar feeling of being forgotten. Spinel glanced down and saw Pearl still holding onto the human brush Rose found long ago. Then into her eyes as she saw a certain wall forming around her. Closing off any emotions that she felt for Rose. Perhaps maybe entirely.
"She soon won't exist."
"What do you mean? You're not going to poof her are you?!"
"What- No! I would never Spinel! I meant-" A gasp escaped her suddenly, an expression of worry took over for just a brief moment. Regaining her calm and orderly composure she looked at her with a sympathy that almost looked fake. Almost. "She didn't tell you, didn't she?" Her tone more factual than a question.
"Pearl, what's going to happen with Rose?"
"Rose is...going to have a baby. I don't-... The best way I can describe it is that she will give up her physical form and pass her gem to her half human child."
"Half human?" Spinel looked down with a puzzling look before continuing. "That Greg Universe is involved somehow?" Anger rose within her voice.
"Yes"
"And you're just going to let this happen?!"
"It's what she wants. I...can't stand in the way of her happiness. According to human physiology since she has human organs and such formed within, she has about six more months-"
"I can't believe this!" With that she ran off to find her. Ignoring Pearl calling out her name. Anger rose inside her. If she had any blood, it would be boiling by now. Tears mixed with hatred, sadness and frustration overflowed her. Something inside her was changing and she didn't even do anything to stop it. 'She told Pearl and not me... She made her choice without consulting me?! Her best friend?! I thought... I thought we had a chance to reconnect....'
Finding the temple she broke through the door. Not even bothering to notice that Garnet and Amethyst were around. With her gem she opened up the door to her room and rushed inside. Finding Rose's room in an instant with her sitting on the clouds. Hands over her pronounced mid section right above her gem and sighed.
"How could you?!" Rose turned immediately to see an upset gem with tears over her cheeks.  Eyes widening in realization as a pained expression appeared on her face. Walking forward she knelt down and sighed.
"I'm so sorry Spinel. I didn't mean to keep any of this secret from you. But it is my fault I didn't tell you sooner."  No matter how angry she felt, all her emotions poured out ash she wrapped her noodle-like arms around her giant friend and cried into her shoulder. Feeling Her hand upon her back as she soothed with her with a soft lullaby. One that she had sung to her whenever the day wasn't so fun. And today of all days was one of them. Whatever was inside of Spinel, calmed down....for the time.
Hours had passed and they talked about everything that was going to happen. How things were going to change but her love for them all will remain. So when the day finally had come, she sang the lullaby to her one more time. Easing her into the next chapter of their story. With a soft 'I love you' the bright light came into the room and faded into a baby's cry.
Spinel soon had a new best friend to play with and talk too. Someone she could be herself with. They soon became the best of friends, watching over each other, being almost joined at the hip together. Sometimes, Spinel found herself wondering if this was someone knew or just Rose reformed. whatever the case she felt happy.
Until ten years had passed when everything changed once more. It all seemed like a blur to her memory. The ships blocking the clouds view, a burst of light as they all poofed away. Waking up she found herself in a holding cell. A large Jasper guard stood in place. Watching them all as they reformed one by one. Moments later, even before she could say anything to them, a huge blue hand picked her up away from them all.
The Diamonds gave her the ultimate punishment as they threw her into a zoo. A human zoo. One they had created ever since the gem war in hopes that Pink would return to them. Now a symbol of what her rebellion had created. Seeing that Pink was now the half human boy, they thought it would be best to separate them for awhile. The others were held in a cell. Greg was also with Spinel in the zoo like herself, trapped. Pearl was put in a solitary confinement for Pearls like herself. To reform and be 'better' Pearl servants than before.
Spinel wondered why she was put here with the other humans. But her wondering didn't last long as a few saw her as an instant threat. Acting like animals while others stayed hidden away from her. They feared and hated her for being a gem. Greg tried his best to help keep her safe, but even he suffered greatly at the loss of his son taken away from him. The promise he made Rose was broken. Spinel hid away from it all. Only finding tree's to conceal herself and the branches to use a a defense.
It was brutal. Whenever they found her, they would beat her to the point of poofing. Thankfully they were not intelligent enough to know that shattering was murder. So she reformed over and over as they repeated the process. Spinel thought Steven would come to rescue her. To save them all like he did with Lapis from Jasper. But he never came.
The feeling of abandonment flowed through her once more. Anger rised inside her deeply, something was changing from within and she welcomed it with open arms. If Pink had only stayed like herself, she would've saved them all from this. She wouldn't have had them all captured and locked away. They could be hiding from the Diamonds if she didn't run away and give up existing. Her powers would've save them all, just like before.  They could've lived happily ever after. But that didn't exist. Not anymore.
'It's her fault.... It's Her Fault.... IT'S HER FAULT!!!'
Her mind screamed over and over. Finally it was her snapping point. No longer wanting to hide, she began fighting the animalistic enemies within her prison walls. At one point, while fighting she stabbed a human in the shoulder with the sharp point of her branch. Watching as he fell over and began to reveal a red liquid trickling from the cut she made. Something about it unlocked a blood lust inside. It reminded her of the pain Pink went through, the cried of torment from the memory to the sounds she heard now became music to her ears.
With a laughter so maniacal and sadistic, she began to do more. Have more cuts, see them bleed. Listen to the sounds of pain and agony as she stabbed, hit and murdered every human in that fight. Soon the rest became even more fearful of her. Those who tried to poof her now, didn't get a chance to even breath their last word.
Upon seeing the bodies covered in blood she smiled and laughed and laughed louder and louder. A bright light overtook her as she transformed into her new form. A black dress with pointed shoulders and ripped up hems, black boots instead of clown shoes. Hair in an upwards, messy twin tails like horns. Her tears formed black lines like masquera on human women running down the cheeks.  The heart -shaped gem, turned upside down as her eyes were more blood-red.
She soon began to kill just for the pure enjoyment. Nothing would stand in her way. Anyone trying to defy her would be long gone. However this wasn't the only thing she found fascination in. Hiding in secret for her next victim, she heard sounds of what seemed like a mixture of pain and pleasure. Finding the source, she peaked through the bushes and eyes went wide. The two humans were moving on top of each other. Their clothing pushed to the side as their lower halves connected in a way that was quite astounding.
Spinel only heard about this once from oh so long ago from Rose. Apparently what she did with Greg to make their child. However instead of getting angry from it, she decided to understand it more. The entire event stirred something within her. So she watched and listened. Gathering up all the information she could.
A year had passed and Spinel was growing tired of just watching and causing bloodshed and fear upon others. But what she never had imagined was being placed by Steven's side once more. It was a way for him to be 'tortured' to bring back Rose's form. During which she saw a beastly side of him she never could see before. It was a glorious site.
One she needed to see once more.
With one final gash to the human's side she pulled back with what appeared to be heavy breathing. Seeing that she went a bit to overboard and attacked  so much that the spine was shown and the subject was dead. Shaking her head she dropped her weapons and stood up straighter.
Removing the blood from her form as she sang a simple lullaby and wrapped the cloak around her once more. A song she heard Steven compose one evening. One that stuck with her ever since she heard the haunting melody. Waking away from the cell as Jasper waited for her outside with her arms folded and back against the cold wall, like his demeanor. Spinel's voice echoing through the walls.
'Your eyes see but my shadow My heart is overflowing There's so much you could come to know You're content not knowing Tenderly You could see My soul'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was another successful day of the Zooman Rehabilitation project. Pearl decided to make an appearance this time around to help things really become more organized. It seemed a bit odd but intriguing to see Bismuth trying hard not to blush. Connie noticed her emotions instantly and smiled to herself about it.
Once all was said and done, Pearl went to go with Steven for a chat with Blue Diamond on the Diamond line. The others went back to their own duties. Connie placed a hand on Bismuth's shoulder with a smile and a whisper.
"Why don't you go talk to her?" Gesturing to Pearl the rainbow haired gem's blush became bigger and bigger.
"I-I don't-"
"Save it. I know what I saw. Why haven't you said anything to her?"
"It's not that easy Connie." Bismuth sighed before walking to a stack of books to put back on the shelves. "There are many times I could've said what I wanted to say. But I blew it. Now it's too late."
"What do you mean?" Connie asked grabbing a few books from the stack and helping her out.
"Long ago, before Steven was born, I saw Pearl going up to the cliffs above the ocean. Watching as she sat for what seemed like forever. In solitude. I knew she was thinking about Rose and her time spent with Greg. How distant she had become. I knew it broke her heart to have her relationship so apart in that moment." Connie remembered her training with Pearl when she asked about Steven. How she could stay at his side no matter what evil he done. The look of sorrow and rage from within as tears brimmed her eyes. She was still hurting from loosing Rose not just physically, but emotionally.
"What do you mean all the time's you could've said something?"
"Well one evening as the sun was setting, I was walking up the cliffs to talk to her and finally say something. But I heard her scream Spinel's name as the little gem ran right past me. Pearl reached out for her when she saw me walking in her direction. Awkwardly so I continued and sat by her. I asked her what had happened and she told me everything. I saw her holding an item that Rose gave her long ago. She was clutching to it so tightly, I knew I couldn't say what I was feeling. Not then especially."
"She hasn't let go, hasn't she?" Connie stated more like a fact than a question as Bismuth nodded.
"I did the best thing I could do. I just sat with her in silence. At least this way, she would know I'm here for her. That's the best thing I can do. Just be there whenever she needs a friend."
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bi-demon-ium · 4 years
Text
my thoughts on zoo
does anyone care? no. do i care that no one cares? also no.
okay, so most importantly: i loved it. i really, really loved it. it’s up there with my favorite podcasts right now, on par with death by dying and welcome to night vale. it’s just fun. it’s engaging. it’s interesting. i stayed up for almost 24 hours straight listening to most of it at once. it’s great. 
i’m gonna put the rest under the cut because ~spoilers~ but like, here’s my opinions i guess! in no particular order.
okay so weird place to start, but. dahlia riddle isn’t valid i’m sorry
don’t get me wrong she’s a really cool well-written character played by a super talented actress but this bitch???? is not valid. to be clear, this has nothing to do with the monsterfucking (completely valid if i do say so myself) and even her urge to murder her coworkers. what is not valid is a) the actual murder like??? she had such a casual approach to this she was like ah yes and i had them all ripped to bloody shreds :) perfect
but also like b) (and it’s probably bad this bothered me more but) she just??? assumes there’s no cost??? that he’ll Protect her from any price and she’ll just get everything she once because she said a word and apparently seduced a bone rattlin demon boi. but like.... have you never read a book. do you know nothing about life and consequences and how these things ALWAYS WORK. no matter how good you are, there’s always a cost!!! being smart is balancing that cost wisely!!! you are not smart!!! 
like wanting to pursue magic and power beyond purely academic research is honorable, and i relate to the whole “none of them take it seriously, i thought we were here to take this seriously” thing, but like.... girl. clearly you’re not that genius if you just completely assume that there’s NO COST i was literally screaming the whole time i was like WHAT? NO. YOU FUCKING DUMBASS THIS IS GOING TO GET YOU MURDERED. OR WORSE.
dont get me wrong its very sexy of her to be a whole homicidal academic and she’s a cool character but like. aaaaaaaaaa
and again to be clear this is not bad writing by any means i’m yelling at dahlia herself
also i think i saw someone be like “oh she murdered her colleagues bc they were a bunch of condescending men” and maybe im dumb (well, i am dumb, but im saying maybe i missed something) but it really didn’t read to me as they dismiss her because she’s a woman and she’s surrounded by condescending men, so much as she’s surrounded by people not taking magic seriously (and by extension her since she does) but they’re ujst like normal colleagues and they annoy her. you know how in cell block tango (in chicago) most of them you’re kinda like yeah he had it comin lol but then one of them is just like HE KEPT SMACKING HIS GUM. she kinda has that energy to me. but also i haven’t relistened to the whole show yet so maybe i genuinely missed something, i could be swayed here
ok moving on from my strong opinions about dahlia riddle 
the mothman.
the mothman.
i love them.
i do wish it was more clear what pronouns the mothman uses. i mean is it both he and them? because valid, literally same, but it came off as confusing because people used them interchangeably and i couldn’t tell if the them was like a “i can’t tell gender here” (i don’t think so because i’m pretty sure that amos refers to the mothman as them a few times) or if like, characters were misgendering the mothman, or?? what????
but like i love nonbinary mothman so i’m gonna go with them for now. iconic, tbh
anyway i LOVE THE MOTHMAN
i can’t even articulate it i just love the mothman. i just think they’re neat
titaniumviolet really really annoyed me at first, because i thought they were going for the “tin hat conspiracy theorist straight-up making things up for her blog” thing (with the whole batsquatch thing for example, like. that sounds made up.) and then when mckayla was like “i need to call someone who knows this field.......how about that one crackpot i made fun of once” like there are serious cryptozoologists!! why would you go to some random tabloid writer when you could go to someone who takes it seriously!!!
but then we met her and every opinion i had on her did a 180 immediately i was like oh my god i love her i take back everything i said she’s the best
also it seems to be heavily implied she for the most part doesn’t make shit up, she just might exaggerate a little. but the batsquatch is real, so! 
but seriously i love her and i highkey ship her and mckayla ngl 
let her! work at! the zoo! she cares so much about the cryptids, she genuinely cares!! and it could be really cool to see that conflict with her desire to get the truth out there/post things on her blog, like how we see with the ghost moose when she can’t resist taking a selfie 
god i just love her and want more of her tbh
ok mckayla. mmm mixed feelings. overall i really like her, that’s not an issue, but like
ok first of all for some reason her voice really bothered me at first (sometimes with podcasts the main voice is just like immediately heaven in ur ears--looking at you, cecil--and other times it takes a while to grow on you, like the obituary writer, and other times it’s good, but just weird, like the lost cat podcast. and then sometimes it just sucks. in this case, it was kinda weird but not to the point i couldn’t listen, and i got over it pretty fast) but i got over it! so it’s fine
also randomly i kinda picture her as like.... tish? from doctor who? martha’s sister? i don’t know why that’s what i’m picturing when i imagine her face but it is.
i do really like her actually, she amuses me a lot and she’s really endearing and relatable 
like the whole bigfoot emporium thing flgkjfhlkjgfh “oh i guess we HAVEEE to buy ALLL THIS MERCH” “we could just buy like a tshi--” “WHAT SIZE ARE YOU WE’RE GETTING EVERYTHING :D”
hm although the whole like... slight emphasis on religion they occasionally do makes me a little uncomfortable but to be absolutely clear that’s on me and my experiences with christianity and not the writing or the show lkgjhfgh but it did make me a little uncomfy when it was brought up i guess 
also like ok they try to do this thing that’s like She Cares About The Cryptids, she’s newcomer and without the biases of this world she’s more empathetic or something, you know what i mean? but a) to me it felt kinda abrupt i guess? like one second shes being like “oooo weird monsters” and then sorta midway, but then she goes full extreme cryptid rights. which isn’t invalid, but like, it feels like this whole She Knows Better even tho shes been here for like a few months lfkgjhfgh
speaking of which the episode where they all want to kill the siren and she insists on tranqing her instead, like. rubbed me wrong a little? 
to be fair i think my issue with it is something they like.... did intentionally? im just not sure how well it worked, or was explored, i guess
like why is the mothman so on the “human” side here? the whole point of the zoo is to protect and preserve cryptids. and while there are certainly arguments to be made for why it’s important that guests can visit and see them (for example, making people like. see these cryptids in a safe environment, and therefore be less scared of them, hopefully making the world a little safer for cryptids in general) but they don’t like. say that. 
so why is the safety of the guests paramount? i mean okay that came out wrong obviously they want to protect the guests. but the mothman specifically is like “and if there are deaths we might have to close the zoo and make it some sort of private preserve, and that would be Terrible because that’s SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE ZOO” and i’m like is it tho? like i can see arguments for it but they don’t argue that. so it came off really weird to me
i guess there’s also money maybe? like do the guests pay a fee to get in? but doesn’t the zoo just make anything they require? im sure that couldn’t be used for bad things
you know come to think of it why did the zoo like. do that in the first place? when the mothman arrived there was nothing, it was a blank room of requirement adapting their needs, but it like.... provided the sign. they came back and it was there. the mothman didn’t choose that specific wording. 
like zoos are definitely great (the like... valid ones. fuck sea world and old timey shitty zoos. cough cough the aquarium) and work with conservation but with the question of sapience here it feels dodgy to have these people be like. exhibits. even people like paige, like. ok, she’s treated as a person, but she had an exhibit. does amos have an exhibit? hell, does the mothman? 
did the zoo do this like. is the mothman really an exhibit. what the fuck.
(im kind of thinking of this excellent fic for the show the librarians i read once that points out that in the binary between “artifact/book stored in the library” and “librarian/guardian who works at the library” that jenkins, the unofficial caretaker, falls into the former rather than the latter. it’s not technically a strong assertion--one can easily argue that caretaker is simply a third job not accounted for in that binary--but like. the possibility is all too chilling. i mean, with his whole status as an immortal knight... yeah. they’ve got nessie in there, why not galahad? obviously he’s not entirely caged and he’s treated like a person, and even has a modicum of respect and authority, but like. so does the mothman, so. that’s kind of what i’m thinking here, i guess.)  
why did the zoo choose to be a zoo. why not just a reserve or a park or some shit. 
and apparently also an aquarium as they are cut from the same cloth. 
but like back to what i was saying lfgkhjgh you would really think the mothman would want to prioritize cryptid safety given that that’s the whole point. 
now that could be an interesting storyline on how like, they were raised by humans, and despite being a cryptid they have this weird bias. you know, like before the zoo when they were using their prophetic dreams to save humans from cryptids and always assumed that’s what it was until they came to the one where they realized they were saving the cryptid from a mob of humans? like, that could be a Thing. but it hasn’t really been addressed, i guess. but then, it’s not over yet, so
and like in episode 5 where the woman overhears the conversation about the... demwah? demwuah? demwua? dimwah? you know the "tree" in the road. anyway. I was a little confused as to who was talking but I'm 90 percent sure it was the mothman being like I'll Put It Down If I Have To 🤷‍♂️ No Big Deal while the doctor (doctor m'briety?) was like we can hurt it! its innocent! with the mothman being all sinister and almost sounding cruel or careless?
again this balance of is the zoo evil or not. it almost feels like originally the zoo was going to be evil but they scrapped the idea at the end if season one and were like the mothman is good now, the zoo is not malicious, the aquarium will be that now (ill discuss this more later with the whole intro and stuff)
but either way it just sat wrong to me that it was the mothman being like “we gotta kill it” and then mckayla, a human, being the one kinda self righteously like No We Cannot Or We Are Bad 
but it’s not a huge criticism here just something that rubbed me the wrong way
also the siren’s song is so good and i want just like a track of that like just the song. and the lyrics. aaaa it was so pretty 
and like honestly that whole thing with “what’s the line between animal and person with the cryptids?” is a really fascinating question
i mean i think she said something about it almost seeming to be a matter of who pisses them off--see spring heeled jack--but i’d disagree at least a little. i don’t think jacky boy is being treated like an Animal, so much as a very very dangerous prisoner. rightfully so.
(speaking of spring heeled jack: i loved him. he was so fun. great voice acting. gave me the shiver-me-timbers and i loved it)
but like it’s a good question
is a siren a person? not human, sure, but is she a person? i’d say probably. i mean, a lot of smart people define language as the barrier where a creature crosses from sentient to sapient. and the sirens aren’t just mimicking, they can hold a conversation. they seem pretty peopley to me. so they should be treated as such. you can argue they should be kept in the zoo for their own safety and everyone else’s (we can’t begrudge them for murder considering that’s not murder, that’s food, but like, we can contain it and attempt to feed them safely instead, right?) but even then it should be a more respectful prisoner situation maybe? or maybe they shouldn’t be kept in at all! 
and like yeah, where’s the line? are the will o wisps people? could you set up a sort of “blink once for yes, twice for no” conversation? 
it’s a complicated question! it’s cool! 
but on the other hand it’s like....... ok yeah but WHY is this question mothman is LITERALLY RUNNING THE PLACE you’d really think that they’d be less “oh they’re all dumb animals” and more “hm, i’m a cryptid and not an animal. i wonder if this extends to anyone else”
i get it’s not totally unrealistic--it’s generally the humanoid or human-looking ones that are treated as people, like paige, rather than like, the will o wisps or whatever, but like. again it just kinda sits with me wrong like. again it’s like ok so the human is the one asking these questions? particularly the human who was lowkey convinced they were all monsters a second ago? i get the outsider perspective thing but. idk man
glkjfglkjgfh idk i mean it’s not totally unreasonable it just seems off to me somehow but i can’t quite put my finger on exactly what it is
i love amos
i have no idea why, but his voice gets on my nerves
but i love him so goddamn much that i don’t even care and ignore it
like he’s so goddamn endearing that i can get past it, which is really saying something
i love this cricket man. i love him. 
also i LOVE THAT HE’S MARRIED TO COURTNEY LKGHJFGLKHJ 
i love barnes in general tbh
i liked the gay deer. i can understand how some people would be offended or uncomfortable, and that’s totally valid, but honestly, i thought he was hilarious. absolutely if he’d been the only queer character i’d be :/// but he isn’t, and even tho there isn’t a huge focus on rep there just isn’t a huge focus on romance in general, and it’s included enough that i feel i can trust the creators with that
and honestly the gay deer’s just fucking funny as hell lkhjgffgh
“the gay deer” “...excuse me?” (deeply tired) “he literally won’t give us any other name and it’s all he’ll answer to” iconic tbh. me as a deer god
i don’t think there’s any character i don’t like? i mean there are characters i’m supposed to dislike, like the asshole assistant director guy, and i guess the not-werewolf boat guy doesn’t particularly catch my interest or heart, but like generally i actually like all the characters 
i liked beckett a lot hes just tired... let him rest
i cant WAIT for a reunion between mckayla and beckett and mackayla and titaniumviolet. also just more beckett and titaniumviolet interaction could be fun lhkfgh
and the writing is so good i love the little stories, especially at first like the chupacabra story fglhkfjhlkgjfh it’s sweet
and the pacing is really good, i super loved how season one was her finding the zoo, and the mystery and build up to her finally seeing the mothman in person and finding the sign herself (that season ending was so satisfying like if the show had ended there i would have been happy, but i’m also glad we got more) was all so good, and then season two being her adjusting to working at the zoo and all this spooky stuff with the aquarium going on 
and like classic podcast mood of starting sorta monster of the weekish vibes with mostly unconnected short stories that slowly become more and more connected and there are callbacks (like with paige) is good 
unlike most podcasts i didn’t immediately miss the monster of the weekish format like with the magnus archives i quickly kinda wished for the normal statements minus serialization again, but with zoo i didn’t get bored of it. i wouldn’t mind some more short stories mixed in but like, i was just as fascinated
also the humor is excellent. my two favorite moments that i still remember like a week later (which is HUGE for me): 1. titaniumviolet fucking waving at the goatman like you’ve seen a coworker on the street and caught their eye and you have to do SOMETHING or they’ll bring it up later-- and then 2. that like. huge list of random shit in that old guy’s house? like it was so fucking funny all the shit they came up with i was laughing out loud (for real! not just an exhale!) and repeating them out loud in an incredulous wheeze of laughter and making my mother look at me with deep concern
me, wheezing loudly: a vial marked “time!!” 
my mother: [concern]
also i like the balance on horror because im a weak bitch, i don’t love horror, so this has a nice spooky feel but i’m not getting nightmares
i love how this podcast incorporates actual like, paranormal theories and stuff!! like mothman’s prophetic dreams, and like--oh my god, y’all, indrid cold. look, i recently watched hellier, so i know about that whole thing and the connections to mothman, and like. i remember thinking as this weird new fbi guy was coming up, like. oh, man. wouldn’t it be cool if this was indrid cold? and i kinda dismissed it like nah you’re thinking that because of hellier. but the closer we got to the reveal of his name, the more i was like.....could it be tho?
and then they called him agent cold and i was like THIS CAN’T BE A COINCIDENCE 
and then they confirmed his first name showed him in that old photo and i was like AAAAAAAAAAAAAA ive never felt more thrilled in my life i love guessing things correctly and like idk how many people knew about that but i just felt really smart lghkjfglkfgjh you know like idk if it was actually that big a deal--probably not--but in the moment i felt SO smart it was great
random but i was promised trans characters. where are they. 
well there was normandy(?) but they were a pretty minor character (or. are so far?) so
am i stupid? were some of them confirmed as trans offscreen? i mean we already know i’m board for nonbinary mothman but i don’t think anyone was ever confirmed as trans in the show
also i’m slightly unclear on whether the zoo is evil or not. like they made it a mystery on purpose in season one, which makes sense. by the end it seems pretty obvious they’re not evil, and season two seems to basically be like yeah they’re not evil. occasionally misguided, but not evil or malicious by any means. 
and yet.
the fucking intro. the intro they play in every episode (and specifically recorded with a new voice actor every time so not even like just a randomly played thing--i loved that, by the way, how it was a new voice each time, it was so cool. also i have no idea why but that last line--you are following a sign marked... zoo always GETS me it’s such a good line lgkjfgh like the way it interacts with the podcast format/framing, and just generally how the sentence is constructed??? idk bro its just good shit) they always say like. “if you’re lucky you’ll move on and not go in” and “unfortunately, the zoo still exists” like???? if it’s actually not evil or malicious, why is it unfortunate? unfortunate that it needs to exist because humans destroy what they don’t exist? lucky because... you didn’t get to see the cool zoo full of cryptids? i guess it could destroy someone’s life if they got obsessed or it broke their fragile little worldview but like generally that’s not the point, right, so like. what the fuck guys
i mean is this deliberate and it’ll be a double twist, the zoo is evil after all?
i do wonder about like. not the mothman but the other people in charge. the assistant director guy is too obvious, he’s no hidden villain, but maybe one of the doctors with the nice voices or something will be
because like how did the zoo become like this anyway? first it was the mothman taking advantage of the magical moving room of requirement, and now fast forward a century or two and it’s got a whole like. company with rules and like other people in charge, people who sometimes directly conflict with the mothman and even like. get their way over them, right? so they’re not really the only one in charge anymore, are they? how did that even happen? how did they get their first employees like this??? how did they start this whole thing??
is it possible some of the other people are corrupt or something? like they’re the bad guys? i find it hard to believe the mothman is a twist villain, they’re just too earnest and like well-meaning. i guess that could be the point but it doesn’t make sense to me. again, the assistant director is too obvious, so i would think one of the other high level staff or something, maybe? 
.....now im thinking back to the discussion of “is the mothman actually an exhibit themself?” and im having... uneasy feelings.
not like bad writing uneasy feelings like “oh,,,, oh no” feelings for a future potential episode like...
whatever The Bad Guy in the zoo is being like well mothman you’re an exhibit :)) we’ve let you run free long enough >:) and all the people cryptids being shoved back in the exhibit cages
oh god oh god like a mothman exhibit they cant escape from modified for them, a gilded, glorified hamster cage
terrifying!!! terrifying!!!! it’d be a damn good “oh OOF” moment tho like actually wow i love that. in like a “that would be horrible!!!!” (evil cackling) “the angst would be delicious!”
actually do they already have an exhibit? like. where do they sleep. the flashback to zoo origins mentioned a little house like that is that little house still there somewhere deep in the zoo, a reminder of their origins? that’d be sweet :)
anyway idk either way it just seems weird to start the episode from a season about this good zoo that’s protecting weird magical creatures and beings and then it starts with like “UNFORTUNATELY the zoo is still there and you may if u are unlucky go in one day!!”
ok but the MUSIC!!!!!! mostly the theme (so!! good!!!) but also like the siren’s song is iconic. i could listen to both for hours
the aquarium and its director is such a good villain so far!! so spooky!! and the foreshadowing was super well done 
i wish there were transcripts tho. why don’t more podcasts have transcripts. please. please provide transcripts. i’m begging you
overall i super duper love this podcast so much. all the criticism i’ve mentioned is purely out of love for this show like i wouldn’t care enough to think about all this if i didn’t really really love the show. 
the writing is excellent, the tone and humor and spookiness great. it’s engaging and fun and the characters are endearing and it’s just overall a really good story. a really good show. i’d say it’s tied in first place as my favorite podcast with death by dying right now, night vale only falling into third because despite my love for it years ago, i still haven’t caught up. 
and any issues i do have with this show (none of which actually make me dislike the show, just make me think) do not at all detract from my enjoyment. except maybe the transcripts thing. blease i have audio processing issues i need transcripts,
also i want the lyrics to that siren song so i can sing it in the shower
and also a quick reference for any meta or fic or anything else i may write lmao
seriously there are so many benefits to transcripts particularly for accessibility 
there’s probably more i’m not thinking of--i might add that after i relisten to it again, which i plan to do--but for now this is it :) if anyone wants to talk about any of this PLEASE fire away im loving this show and no one i know will listen to it flgkhfjgh
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justjibberjabber · 4 years
Text
To Phyllis
Phyllis had never been to the zoo.
Her mother had been an alcoholic, and though her father had once been a kind man, he had become bitter with years of Vera’s drinking and handling the busy hardware store on his own. Nobody had time or interest in taking her to the zoo. There was a period of Phyllis’s childhood, from about the ages of seven to ten, that she spent summers with an aunt and uncle at their cabin outside the city.
Every morning, she woke to the smell of bacon and eggs cooking on her aunt’s electric skillet. Her aunt Edna would brown a piece of toast, slather it in butter and jelly, and cut it in half – diagonally, the way Phyllis liked. Then she’d make a smiley face on Phyllis’s plate – the triangles of toast for eyes, an egg for the nose, and a greasy bacon smile.
After breakfast, her uncle Tom would take her out fishing on the lake in the jon boat, or maybe they’d pick up sticks for firewood. Some mornings they’d drive to the filling station in town for fuel and the newspaper, and uncle Tom would give her a nickel for the gumball machine. Phyllis remembered many evenings spent around the fire listening to the crickets and frogs in the woods, counting the stars that peaked through the canopy of trees, and roasting marshmallows. Sometimes Phyllis liked to catch the marshmallows on fire, let the outside burn to a black crisp, and then peel the burnt shell off to enjoy the warm gooey marshmallow within. Other times, she would hold them high above the flames so that they wouldn’t brown but would be hot on the outside while still cool on the inside.
During the final weeks of summer as Labor Day approached heralding the return to school – and to life with her parents – Phyllis’s despair would mount with each passing day. It was March of 4th grade, just as the crocuses were in bloom and the trees were starting to green and the days beginning to warm, that the news came of her aunt and uncle’s death in a tragic accident. The local fire chief suspected that a windy March night had blown embers in through the open kitchen window, setting their home aflame.
As Phyllis grieved that summer for the loss of her aunt and uncle, she did her best to stay out of her father’s way and to avoid her mother’s drunken fits. She tried making bacon and eggs with butter jelly toast the way her aunt Edna had, but the eggs were runny, the bacon burned, and her father never bought any jelly.
When she was seventeen, a young man named Jack started delivering supplies to her father’s hardware store. At the behest of her father’s constant prodding and persuasion, Phyllis and Jack were married shortly thereafter. She didn’t realize it at the time, but her father had been eager to have someone else “take care of” Phyllis – her mother had passed when she was 15 from cirrhosis of the liver, and the hospital bills and funeral costs had nearly drained the family of any savings. Marrying her off had allowed her father to sell the house and save himself from complete financial ruin; for a few years after, he used the back office of the store as his lodgings and ate one meal a day from the diner down the street.
Phyllis and Jack’s marriage was happy enough – they took the car for rides on Sundays, and would sometimes go see a picture together. Jack would say things that made Phyllis laugh, and somehow, against all odds, Phyllis became quite a good cook for Jack. Phyllis had decided there wasn’t much passion or romantic love in their relationship, but more of a friendship – a partner, someone to work through the hardships of life together, to keep one another’s company and stave off the loneliness, and that was enough for her. They both took it pretty hard when they were unable to conceive after years of trying, hoping, but resolved to live out their days together in the good way that they got along, regardless of the unusual circumstances of their coming together.
When Jack passed unexpectedly of an early morning heart attack at the age of 73, Phyllis struggled at first with living alone. She realized she had never actually been alone in all her life, even if, at times, those that kept her company were disinterested in her and aloof. She eventually fell into a new swing of things, though, and did her best to keep busy. She got a kitten the following spring from a neighbor whose cat had born a litter  – a pretty little calico with fluffy cheeks and a bushy tail. “Kitten” was her name, even as she became a full-grown cat, and Kitten would keep Phyllis company while she tended her garden until her knees and back became too bad to bear the work anymore. The arthritis in her hands eventually made her put down her knitting needles, and when she fell in the bathroom, she finally conceded to herself that maybe it was time to sell the house and move into “an old people’s home.”
Phyllis told me all of this after shuffling over to the bench to sit next to me in front of the lions at the Bronx Zoo. She had quite a stooping posture, but with the help of her walker, she seemed to be fairly steady on her feet. She told me that her assisted living home had planned an outing to the zoo that day, and she was not going to miss it for anything. She had just left the area where they kept the hippos, and was surprised to find out that hippo teeth don’t look like marshmallows after all, like they always did in the cartoons she watched as a kid. That was okay though, she’d told me – she really just wanted to see a great big lion open its great big mouth in a great big yawn, and she’d be happy. They held a yoga class once a week at her home, and she’d learned the “lion’s breath” technique. “How neat it’d be to do a lion’s breath with a real lion,” she had said.
I found out that Phyllis’s home was not far from the pastry shop where I worked, so I’d stop in to visit her once a week and bring her a baked treat. I never said much during our visits – Phyllis did most of the talking – but I was okay with that. I got the feeling that Phyllis hadn’t talked much during her life and maybe needed to get some things out.
Eventually, I started to notice that Phyllis didn’t seem to be doing as well as when I had met her, and I feared she was truly going downhill. I stopped in one day, and Phyllis was lying in bed. She told me she didn’t feel like getting up that day, and she’d never spent a single day of her life relaxing in bed before, so by god she was going to do it today. She lay on her side with the pillow crammed between her arm and her head. She turned her eyes to me, and I swear she looked straight into my soul with those dark brown eyes when she said, “Life is strange. You gotta make the best of it. And that means different things to different people.” I gave her hand a gentle squeeze, smiled, and said, “That’s really nice, Phyllis. Thank you.”
We had been sitting quietly for a while when Phyllis finally spoke. “Get in my desk over there for me. In the top drawer on the right. There’s something in there I want you to have.” I opened the drawer, and there, on top of a stack of old postcards, lay a Christmas ornament. She had bought it from the gift shop at the zoo the day of the zoo outing. It was a ceramic purple hippo wearing a Santa hat, mouth wide open revealing the perfect dentition within – perfectly white, perfectly round, perfectly marshmallow-shaped teeth.
She passed away eight days later. The nurses told me she suffered very little, which I was thankful for. More than all, I was thankful that Phyllis chose to sit at the bench outside the lion den, thankful that I was sitting at that very same bench at that very same moment, thankful to have made her acquaintance and have her friendship. Because of her and the life wisdom she imparted upon me, I took a chance on myself and auditioned for a part in a Broadway play. I got the part. My acting career blossomed from there, and I quit my job at the pastry shop. Phyllis’s purple hippo hangs from the rearview mirror in my car, and I think of her every day when I look in my mirror at the mother behind me screaming at her kids in the backseat, or the construction worker munching on a sandwich on his way back to the job site – all just everyday people making the best of their lives in the whatever way means the most to them.
My nephew Ben visits me for a couple weeks every summer. I make him bacon and eggs and butter jelly toast, except he likes the toast cut horizontally into two rectangles. Every night, we cook a few marshmallows on the stove – some of them we burn to a crisp, and some of them we hold high up over the flames so they’re hot on the outside and cool on the inside. We clink our marshmallows together in a toast to Phyllis. Although Ben was confused at first and didn’t know who Phyllis was, he now joins in wholeheartedly as we pay nightly homage to the woman who helped me become who I am.
“To Phyllis!” he says.
I smile and say, “Yes. To Phyllis.”
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mottlemoth · 6 years
Text
‘Dear Diary...’
You’ve all probably guessed that ‘Skultus is burning through me right now. I’ve just finished a major section, and seriously needed a palate cleanser... 
And so this happened. <3
Some of you might have read ‘Dear Greg...’ - which is hidden away in my short fiction. It’s one of very few things I’ve ever written that doesn’t have a happy ending... it has no ending, in fact. In short, on the advice of his therapist, Mycroft writes a sad letter to the clueless detective inspector that he’s fallen in love with, trying to cope with his feelings. 
I know a few people have always wished this story could head somewhere happier for Mycroft, and that we could see Greg’s side of things.
So, without further ado, here comes part two: ‘Dear Diary...’
And as ever, I’d love to know what you think. <3
Much love! Moth. x
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Dear Diary,
Christ, what a day... don't really know where to start, if I'm honest.
I guess it starts with getting to Rob's house at half eight.
Let's go with that.
Otherwise I'll just sit here, staring at a blank page all night.
When I got there, the kids were charging about the front garden with Gonzo and a water gun. Uncle Greg had to have a good spritzing with the water gun before he was allowed into the house. In the kitchen, I found out why they'd been chucked out to play... Rob had been hauled into work. Massive shortage in A&E, and he didn't want Noah or the twins to see him fuming. He was drinking angry coffee while Poppy put a lunch together for him.
I told him it's fine ("we'll reschedule, mate, it doesn't matter...") but he was upset. Been looking forward to today for ages - spending time with the kids. He's told me before that he feels like he doesn't get enough time with them. Says they're growing up in front of his eyes. He doesn't want them to look back and remember him like we remember Dad… a sort of gruff stranger who came in from night shifts without a word to us, went straight to bed and only ever emerged to crack us round the head for making noise. The pair of us have lived our lives trying not to turn into him.
All of this comes up at the kitchen table as we're sitting with coffee.
It's the sort of house where you say things - because Poppy is a fucking marvel. So I hit my brother with both barrels of the bleeding obvious.
Firstly, he's a bloody good dad. Anyone with eyes can see it.
And secondly, this is just one of those things. It's not a problem, and we'll work around it.
Poppy's in full agreement with me. Between the two of us, we get him to settle. In the end, the decision gets made: Poppy and I'll take the kids to the zoo. We can handle them between us, and their Uncle Greg has facts about giraffes coming out of his ears. It'll be fine. Then I'll stick around until Rob gets home tonight, and we'll all have a takeaway together.
Problem solved.
So. Poppy, Noah, the twins, Gonzo and the picnic are all packed into my car. If we're lucky, I think, there'll even be some room for me.
Before Rob heads off, he gives me a hug around the shoulders - thumps me on the back, and says in my ear, "How are you anyway? You alright?" - and it makes me want to laugh.
And it feels good to realise it - so I laugh.
"I'm fine. Honestly, Rob. It's… good to have myself back."
He understands. I can tell because he doesn't let me go of me just yet.
Squeezes me a bit, like when we were kids.
Teachers used to think we were cute for hugging. "Twins," Mum used to explain to people, with a little smile. Christ, I can hear her saying it now. From all her old photos, it looks like Rob didn't let go of me once until the day we started school. Two little koalas. I remember the night after dad's funeral, when we'd gotten Mum off to bed. Rob and I got drunk on all the old bastard's best whiskey. Sat on the living room floor organising the family photos. Endless pictures of us in little hats, asleep and cuddling in our crib. I thought about my mum taking them all, looking down at us together.
Truth is I wouldn't have survived this year without Rob.
And this is the sort of house where you say things... so I tell him that.
We're still hugging on his doorstep. He goes on in my ear like taking Poppy and the kids to the zoo is some massive hardship for me, and I want to thump him. I tell him thanks for letting me borrow his family. It's nice to spend time with people who support each other. People who're actually happy to be with each other.
Gives me hope.
"You should chat to Pop," he mumbles into my shoulder - and I'm glad we're identical, or his neighbours would be worrying for Poppy by now. Cuddling some bloke on his doorstep. "She's good with this stuff."
I smile, rubbing between his shoulders. "She should be, mate. People pay her enough for it."
"Yeah, well. Family discount." A last thump on the back. "Don't let the twins bring any animals home, will you? Check their pockets before you leave."
(Christ, it's nearly midnight. Why am I writing so much tonight? I suppose get it all down, and I'll sleep better… Mum didn't go a day without her diary. Then, she always had a lot to get down.)
The kids were good as gold in the car. Not a single fight, just lots of whinging at Uncle Greg for his "old man music", and asking their mum on repeat if the zoo will definitely have giraffes (the answer is yes, we have checked: the zoo has a full stock of giraffes ready to go at a moment's notice...)
It's not often I get to see Poppy on her own with the kids.
No surprise that she's peaceful as a mountain lake. Smiling, laughing. Fond questions. The kids glow when she looks at them - when they have their mum's eyes to themselves for a while. Nothing ruffles her.
It's hard not to compare.
Towards the end, I don't think Nicky and I managed a single car journey without a blistering row.
We didn't manage much without a row, come to think of it.
Keeping it all behind closed doors nearly killed me. That was the worst part. Things only started getting better when I stopped trying to keep it quiet… when I realised I didn't want it to be okay, and I didn't mind if people found out. I just wanted it to end.
So spending time with Poppy is good for me.
We didn't get much time to chat until the car journey home. Busy day - lots of walking, lots of laughing, few moments of panicking when I think one of the buglets has wandered off. I've spent most of the day slyly googling animal questions on my phone. (Uncle Greg's a genius, obviously. He's got a reputation to uphold.)
Finally it's getting dark and we're heading home, and all three kids go out like a light. Ten minutes down the motorway, and there are already little snores coming from the backseat.
I realise with a glance in the rear view mirror that the twins are hugging - Gonzo slumped in a furry black pile against them. Noah's curled in the other corner, clutching his new stuffed giraffe.
It makes me smile.
I find myself squeezing the wheel as I pull my eyes back to the road.
It's only after a moment that I realise their mum's watching me, and her eyes are bright.
"Thank you for today," she says. "It's very much appreciated."
She means it.
I've always liked that about Poppy. She means everything she says.
She doesn't do things for no reason, like Nicky did. Checking my texts for no reason. Flirting with my brother for no reason, and I fucking hated her for that. She'd tell me she was fine for no reason, then the next day, she'd decide that suddenly she wasn't fine. No reason. It's taken me a year to get my head around a really small fact: Nicky and I weren't good for each other.
I've realised I'm like my mum. I tend to give.
Nicky was like my dad. She took.
Probably need someone who gives to me, too. Someone who wants a quiet home life, and doesn't have to entertain themselves by making up problems that don't exist. Someone who doesn't mind me working late. Someone who trusts me.
Someone I'll be enough for. Just me.
Someone who's got what Poppy has - and always means what they say.
"S'alright," I tell her, with a sideways smile. "I'm just sorry Rob couldn't be here. He'd have loved it."
"We'll have to organise something else," she says. "Something when you're free."
"Definitely. And listen, if you and Rob ever want to get off on your own… you know I'll have the kids in a heartbeat. Honestly, just shout."
"Thank you, Greg. That's very kind."
"S'fine," I tell her. "We're family."
She smiles, looking down at her handbag held in her lap - a neat grey leather square. I've never told her, but Poppy looks like she does what she does. I don't know how to say it like a compliment, which it is. She looks… I don't know. Like she's got things together.
Rob and I didn't get a lot of stability as kids. Poppy's got stability in spades.
"He's been so concerned about you this year," she tells me, gently. "I think he's glad to see you feeling better."
"Don't think I'd have managed it without him, to be honest." With my eyes on the road, watching nearby cars, it's easy to talk. The words just kind of leave me. "I kept thinking�� 'always got my brother'. Knew I wouldn't be alone. Gave me the strength to leave, I think... and to stay left, which is the hard bit..."
"I imagine it's not been easy," she says.
I'm about to answer, when a flicker of hesitation passes through me. It makes me smile. "How much is this costing me?" I check.
Poppy laughs. "Forgive me. There's no such thing as small talk."
"It's fine," I say, and cast her a smile. "You're - kind to ask, Pop. Really. And it's not been easy - but it's been worth it. Out the other side now..."
"Have you told everyone?"
"Well… it's all official," I shrug. "All legal. All signed and sealed, and over and done with. I just… I don't know. I didn't really want to go office-to-office, informing everyone. Kinda just been telling people if it comes up."
"These things are a little too complicated for memos."
I smile. "Yeah... just a little." I hesitate slightly, shifting my grip the wheel. "Sometimes I've - been letting it slide. Not so much this last month or two, but… I mean, casual acquaintances just passing at a crime scene, and they give you a quick 'how's the wife?'... you don't really wanna stop them and say oh, well, actually mate, we're divorcing and it's gotten so messy that I want to emigrate, but thanks for asking. I've - not done it so much lately. Now we're separated and it's done, it seems... I don't know, clean. Easier to say. Quick shrug. 'Separated'. Everybody moves on."
I realise with a rush that she's not been saying a word - and I've been sitting here, spilling my guts all over her.
"Jesus, Poppy... sorry. You don't need to hear all this."
Poppy smiles. "We're family."
I can't fight a grin. "Yep. There it is."
"Talking is healing," she says. I wonder how many people get that a day. Most of them probably didn't spend it at the zoo with her, stopping the twins from chasing ducks or trying to explain to Noah why baboons have red arses. "How's it felt to be single?" she asks, and I find myself smiling with the weird humour of it all - driving a car full of my brother's snoring kids down the motorway, cashing in my family discount with his wife. (Christ, that sounds wrong.)
"Freeing, I guess. In a lot of ways." I think about it for a while, figuring I should be honest with her. She's kind to ask. "It's - weird having nobody to come home to, but… to be honest, Nicky and I lost that years ago. Everything ended a long time before it actually ended. Does that make sense?"
"It does." Poppy folds her hands in her lap. "Is that what you see in the future? Someone to come home to?"
It surprises me to realise I do. All this time in a crap marriage, I think - everything I went through - and I'd still be willing to try it all again.
It makes me smile a bit.
"Right person," I say.
She smiles, too. "Someone quite different?"
"God… yeah. Lesson learned." I glance quietly in the mirror to check the kids are still asleep. Coast's clear. "Someone who'll... lie in front of the TV with me night after night, and not need to cause an argument to feel like something fun's happening. Somebody - I don't know - smart. Is that awful? Nicky was - … well… I'd want someone I can talk to, anyway. Someone interesting. Someone'll discuss the news with me. Someone who seems to actually like me. Is that a big ask?"
Poppy's eyes are weirdly bright. They've been bright all day, I realise. She's seemed really pleased to see me, and I'm happy.
I'm glad we're bonding. It makes me feel closer to Rob.
"I don't think it's much to ask," she says. "Is it - a female partner you imagine?"
My thoughts go up in a flash. Brief panic strikes me.
That's not something I share with many people.
But then, I think, she's married to Rob - and Rob knows. He met a couple of my boyfriends, when we were younger. Told me flatly they weren't good enough for me, and that if they ever hurt me he'd find them and he'd ruin them.
I was braver with it, then.
Makes me feel guilty, but... when I met Nicky it was easy just to forget that half of me. Easy to settle into marriage, and settle down.
I'd always worried a bit what Mum would think if The One had turned out to be a him, not a her, and I'd have to finally tell her.
Nicky made that problem go away.
But in truth, now Mum's gone... I look back, and I realise she wouldn't have cared. She'd have loved a son-in-law as much as a daughter-in-law.
Poppy's waiting for an answer. With another quick glance in the mirror, I say,
"It's… been a while, but… I suppose if the right guy…" It's been years since I let this sort of thing leave my head. The language of it sounds odd and kinda exciting to me, strange and familiar at once. "I'm not ruling things out. How's that?"
"You're keeping your options open."
"Yeah. Yeah, why not? Fresh start and all that... rediscover the wildness of my youth."
"You'd be entirely within your rights to."
I grin a little, flushing. "I thought - … I dunno. I thought someone like you would be advising me to take my time. Not rush into things."
"It's been a year since you started the process," she reminds me. "And, from the sound of things… you'd dissolved quite a lot of the intimacy in the marriage some time before."
"Years before." The truth is we'd limped along for miles, hating each other. I'd felt so lonely some days. Waking up to Nicky snapping at me, not looking at me. The only time I ever saw her laugh was when she was mocking me in the pub in front of our friends. It seemed to give her energy. "It - wasn't good, to be honest. How we ended up. Nobody really knew it… that was the worst thing. Perfectly steady couple on the surface. Front door shuts, total strangers."
My shoulders ache a little with it, realising.
"Been lonely for a while now," I admit. "Maybe I… I don't know. Maybe part of me finally said, right... fuck it, we'll - "
I realise with a lurch, glance quickly in the mirror, and correct myself.
" - flip it, we'll separate - because then maybe, in time, I could have a proper partner again. Y'know? Not just… give up. Life's for living, right? And it's - meant to be lived together. I didn't want to spent the rest of my life lonely for no reason, when there's lots of good people out there, and…"
I grip the wheel.
"Maybe one of them'll want me," I say. "Really want me. And I could maybe find what you and Rob have."
She's just listening to me, quiet and content, her hands folded on her grey leather bag. Her eyes are full of that brightness she's had all day.
"If you know anyone?" I tell her, half-joking - with a half-smile.
She smiles back. "Let me see what I can do."
It's another hour's drive home. We end up talking about everything - absolutely everything - childhood with Rob, and it doesn't surprise me to find out she knows most of it already - how much I love being an uncle - work - other family - telling her about my ex-boyfriends. What they were like. Clever. Funny. Guys who liked when I cooked for them.
By the time we're pulling into the drive, Poppy knows my soul inside-out.
Rob's back from work when we walk through the door. The kids go mental to see him - jumping all over him like fireworks, telling him about the zoo and the giraffes and everything else they saw, and I watch my brother's face as he hugs them.
He shines with it.
His tiny people. Their small arms up around his neck - his arms around them too, his eyes closing, and for just a second he's holding everything that matters to him in the world.
And I realise I want that.
Not kids, necessarily… still don't know how I'd do as a parent. Rob's so nervous about turning into Dad that he watches himself every step of the way… but what if I've not got that? What if I start the cycle again? Parenthood's not an easy gig. I don't know what those pressures would do to me.
But I'd like to have a person.
Someone's arms around me.
My arms around them, too.
Rob's got Poppy, and he's got the kids, and they come first. He's looked after me so much this year. I wouldn't have dared to make the break without him.
Now one trip to the zoo, and I'm… ready to risk it again, I think.
I'd like to come first to someone.
That'd feel amazing.
Gonna have to get Rob and Poppy to vet them first... whoever they are. I don't want to slide into another Nicky. Let's call that Rule One for 'Greg gets back in the game'. If Rob and Poppy don't think he's good for me, he's not sticking around.
(Jesus, looks like I'm thinking 'he', aren't I? Let's see where that goes.)
Nine pages. Christ.
Lots to get out.
Got it out, though. And now I can sleep.
Oh, wait. One last thing. Can't not put this.
Noah came with me to pick up the curry - wanted his uncle to himself for a bit, I think... he's so shy, even though he's the oldest. The twins shout him down. (Then again, they shout most people down.) Noah is just Rob. Tiny Rob, raised by two good parents.
He sat next to me in the passenger seat with his new giraffe, proud. We got to The Royal Spice, I told them it's under Lestrade, and after a few minutes of watching the staff check the orders in confusion and give each other worried looks, I was getting worried too.
Then Noah leans up to the counter and says, "My mummy's name is Doctor Emberson. She ordered our takeaway. Is there something under Doctor Emberson?"
Seven years old! Christ.
I know some adults can't manage to be that polite.
I should introduce Noah to Sherlock some time...
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andrewmoocow · 6 years
Text
Clod on the Run chapter 1: Mrs. Blue Di (originally posted on May 5, 2017)
“So you have some kind of history with these rocks?”
A group of five individuals were being escorted through a hallway by two hulking purple females. The first of these was a human man dressed like he's a space cowboy. This was Peter Quill aka Star-Lord. Along with him was a green-skinned woman named Gamora, the most dangerous woman in the galaxy, another male who's body was covered in tattoos called Drax the Destroyer, the raccoon-like mercenary Rocket and his giant tree accomplice Groot. Together, they formed the Guardians of the Galaxy. Their spaceship the Milano had crash-landed on a space station when they were found by the guards.
“Well you see,” Rocket said sweating. “The Collector wanted me to find a couple of Rose Quartz gems for his museum so I took some from this spaceport which these people call a human zoo.”
Drax, not understanding some things as always, was confused. “Didn't Peter say that zoos are where humans look at animals, not BE animals?” he asked. “No no no Drax, yeh got it all along.” The furry bounty hunter corrected. “This zoo is where humans are kept to 'preserve the legacy of Earth' or some krutacking garbage like that.”
As the five were led to a door guarded by a blue woman wearing white boots and her hair in buns, Groot looked over his buddy. “I am Groot?” he asked. “What, I'm not sweating in fear guys!” Rocket claimed, trying to lie about the situation. “It's just that these Gems were after my furry little head and want nothing more than the extermination of all organic life forms!” The furball got more sweaty as he fell to the floor. “Groot's right Rocket, you seem pretty afraid of them.” Gamora said, kneeling down to Rocket's eye level. “I am Groot.” the tree agreed.
“Hey guys, is it me or does Smurfette here look like that lady from The Music Man?” Star-Lord asked pointing to the guard. “Let me see, what was her name again?” he started wondering to himself, pacing around in a circle. The guard started getting tired of the man's talking. “Oh I know now, Marian the Librarian!” he finally realized but just then, he was grabbed by the two purple giants. “I've had enough of this one. Amethysts, take him to the human zoo!” the blue Gem finally said. “Yes Holly Blue Agate!” the Amethysts replied saluting her.
“Hold it right there Holly!” Rocket stated, getting up and dusting himself off. “The human's with us.” The Amethysts put Peter down as Holly Blue Agate glared at Rocket. “Oh goody, you again.” she grumbled. “Right this way now.” As she took over leading the Guardians, she turned towards the Amethysts and said “Now get back to your post.”
The Guardians were led into a large pink room by Holly Blue Agate filled with Rose Quartz gems in bubbles. At the center of the room was a large blue figure with white hair and a blue cloak examining the bubbles. By the giant's side was a petite lass with a pointy nose and blue hair covering her eye. “Who's the titan there?” Drax asked pointing to the giant woman “That's Blue Diamond, pretty much the only one of these weirdos that I can respect because she doesn't want me dead.” Rocket answered. “And the little one is her Pearl.” he added.
“My Diamond, we have visitors.” Holly Blue Agate addressed her superior. “Including that mangy cur.” Rocket was angered by her snide comment and pointed a blaster at her. “YOU TAKE THAT BACK!” Just as he was about to shoot, Blue Diamond stopped him. “Please put your weapon down Rocket.” she quietly ordered. The raccoon could only groan as he put it away.
“So, you must be Blue Diamond.” Peter said trying to look tough. “Yes, and you are human?” she asked. “My name,” the human replied. “Is Star-Lord.” Complete silence filled the room before Blue Pearl broke it. “Who?”
Star-Lord got exasperated about how there are still people who don't know his name. “Star-Lord man! Legendary outlaw, leader of a lovable group of misfits?” He face-palmed as another figure entered the room. She looked a lot like Blue Diamond, except she was yellow, had more angular eyes and hair points. Like her fellow diamond, she also had a Pearl.
“I see that dreadful Rocket and his guardians have come to visit.” The yellow one said with a bit of a sarcastic tone in her voice. “Aw come on, I'm the leader here!” Star-Lord shouted. “And it seems the human zoo forgot one.” her Pearl added with a smug grin. “That one is Yellow Diamond, pretty much the second in command of the Great Diamond Authority.” Rocket said to Gamora pointing to Yellow Diamond.
“So if there are three Diamonds leading the Gems and the symbol has four, what happened to the fourth one?” The green warrior asked. “It's a long story, but let's say she's the reason all these bubbles are here.”
“So anyway,” Yellow Diamond began as she set her Pearl down. “We've heard that you've been offering your services for good prices lately.” Rocket's ears began to perk up. “Why yes we have!” he said excitedly. If there's anything Rocket loved as much as Groot, weapons and flying, it was money. “So what'll it be?” Peter asked. “Search and rescue, protect something precious to your people?” Rocket started to rub his hands greedily as Groot put on a worried expression.
“How about capture?” Yellow Diamond said. “Who would you want us to capture?” Drax asked. “Pearl,” Yellow Diamond ordered. “Bring up the wanted list.”
“Yes my Diamond.” Yellow Pearl immediately obliged as she brought up a hologram of various wanted criminals and started scrolling through them. Among them were a human-like Gem about Drax's height with thick pink hair & a white dress with a star-shaped hole exposing her gem, a smaller Gem with green skin, triangular hair & a green gem on her forehead and an angry Rocket with his middle finger censored.
“Ah, that's the one.” Yellow Pearl finally said. She picked out the second poster and handed it to Rocket. “Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut 5XG.” he read aloud. “Why do you want us to capture this one” Drax asked looking over the critter's shoulder. “It is too small and innocent to be a threat.”
“Why it's simple really.” Yellow Diamond said, getting angrier as she spoke. “She flat out betrayed me, refused to give me information on the Cluster AND CALLED ME A CLOD!!!” All the Guardians quivered in fear of the yellow giant until her blue comrade was able to calm her down.”Temper Yellow, temper.” she said as she put her hands on her sister's shoulders. Yellow was able to calm down before turning to the Guardians. “So how many units are we talkin' here?” Rocket asked handing the hologram back to Yellow Pearl. “1,969, 2,008?”
“How about 5,000?” Yellow Diamond said. Rocket was immediately awestruck by the price. “It's a deal!” he exclaimed. “C'mon gang, we gotta midget to catch!” As he marched towards the door, he noticed someone was missing. “Hey anyone seen Quill?” The other Guardians pointed towards their leader dancing to music on his Walkman with Blue Pearl watching.
“So what did you say this music was called?” The Gem asked. “It's called I Want You Back by the Jackson 5.” Peter answered. “Want a listen?” Just then, Rocket started tugging his leg like a little child. “C'mon Pete, we got a midget to catch. The raccoon said. “Well looks like we gotta go.” Peter said to Blue Pearl as he turned towards the two Diamonds. “Thanks for having us over girls!”
“Likewise human.” Yellow Diamond groaned. “And by the way, you'll find your vessel repaired.” Holly Blue Agate began to lead the Guardians back to the port when Star-Lord turned towards Blue Pearl and said “Call me.”
“Alright gang. Riches beyond our wildest dreams here we come!” Rocket shouted as they boarded the Milano. As estatic as he was, the rest of the team were a bit unsure. “I don't know Rocket.” Gamora said. “You told us about how the Diamonds can make enemies rather quickly and it clearly shows when Yellow Diamond got angry talking about that Peridot.” Groot agreed with her. “I am Groot.”
“So what if we might die if we fail? At least we're still going on another crazy adventure!” Rocket exclaimed. “Okay, I've been looking through the information Holly Blue Agate gave us and it said our target is currently on Earth.” Star-Lord stated. “A new job where we go back to my old stomping grounds? Neat!”
“Since when was stomping on the ground involved?” Drax asked. “It's a way of saying familiar territory Drax.” the human corrected. “Now then, Earth here we come!” And so, the Guardians blasted off towards Earth where their reward would be waiting.
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surveysonfleek · 6 years
Text
546.
A! What is your AGE? 26. Have you ever been to ALASKA? nope. Do you want to go to AFRICA? i’ve been before but not to the mainland. What is one of your biggest ACCOMPLISHMENTS? getting a degree. When if ever was the last time you were on an AIRPLANE? back in april this year.
Have you ever eaten ARUGULA? yes. What is your favorite ANIMATED movie? aladdin, mulan and the lion king. Do you have any famous ANCESTORS?  nope.
Have you ever seen an ALLIGATOR? yes. Have you ever sprained your ANKLE? i feel like i have. When was the last time you had a doctor APPOINTMENT? i never really make an appointment, i just show up. Do you enjoy doing ART? sure but it depends on the subject matter. Have you ever gotten a celebrity's AUTOGRAPH? yes. Who is your favorite AUTHOR? jk rowling. Have you ever AUDITIONED for anything? no. Are you interested in ASTRONOMY? hmm not so much hey. Do/did you have good ATTENDANCE in school? yes. B! When is your BIRTHDAY? dec 5. What color is your BACKPACK? black. Have you ever done BALLET? nope. Do you know anyone who's expecting a BABY soon? yes, two people from work. Do you have BARBECUES in the summer? yeah sometimes. Does your house have a BASEMENT? nope. Do you enjoy going to the BEACH? hmmm sometimes. not usually tbh. What is your favorite BOOK? the harry potter series. What time do you usually go to BED? usually 3am. What did you eat for BREAKFAST? nothing. Do you know anyone who is BLIND? no. Are you wearing anything that's the color BLUE? nope. Do you know what BOOMWHACKERS are? nope. Have you ever been BLUEBERRY picking? no. Are you wearing a BRACELET? yes. Do you like the song BRIDGE Over Troubled Water? it’s okay. Have you ever slept in a BUNK BED? yes. C! Do you have a CAT? no, i’m not a fan. Do you drink COFFEE? not often. How much CASH is in your wallet right now? nothing, i hate carrying cash. Do you like COUSCOUS? eh, it’s okay. i don’t like nor hate it. How about CHEESECAKE? i prefer mudcake. What kind of CAR do you have? a suzuki alto. What is your favorite kind of COOKIE? any with a soft centre. Have you ever been in a CHOIR? no. Do you enjoy riding CAROUSELS? i’ll only go on it if it’s a short line. Are you sitting in a CHAIR? no, i’m in bed lol. Do you go to CHURCH? nope. What is/was your favorite CLASS in school? visual arts. Do you like COLORING books? depends on the images, but yeah.
Who is your favorite COMPOSER? i don’t have one. Do you like COWS? haha no. What was your favorite Halloween COSTUME? wednesday addams. D! Do you like DUCKS? not really. i don’t hate them though. What is your favorite breed of DOG? corgis. What would you name your DAUGHTER? no idea yet but i’ve loved the name sierra for the longest time. What is today's DATE? nov 16. Are you good at DANCING? not at all. Do you have DECORATIONS on your bedroom walls? nope. just a huge corkboard. When was the last time you saw your DAD? nearly two weeks ago. Have you seen the musical DEAR Evan Hansen? nope. Have you ever seen a DEER in your yard? no, that’d be a shock. Do you own any DIAMOND jewelry? yes. Do you like DOCUMENTARY films? generally yes, depends on the subject. Does your house have a DECK? nope. What's your favorite thing to eat for DINNER? it depends on my mood. How about for DESSERT? usually something warm like waffles, pie etc. Have you ever lived in a DORM? no. What's the last DREAM you remember having? i forgot. E! How do you like your EGGS? scrambled. Are your EARS pierced? yes. Have you ever seen an ECLIPSE? no :( next time! What is an activity you ENJOY? sleeping. Is your favorite animal an ELEPHANT? nope. When is the last time you rode in an ELEVATOR?: ummm. tuesday. Do you know anyone named ELIZABETH? yes, a supervisor at work. Do you believe that everyone should have EQUAL rights?  yes.
Have you ever been in an EARTHQUAKE? i don’t think so. Are you EXCITED about anything? i’m excited to eat. i’m starving. Do you get a lot of EXERCISE? not enough. F! Have you ever been to FLORIDA? yes, once. Do you like FISH? yes. Have you ever been to the FAIR? yes. Who was the last FRIEND you hung out with? four of my friends. Do you like FIREFLIES? i’ve only seen them once but they were amazing!! Have you ever wished you could FLY? i’d rather teleport than fly. Do you like FROGS? no. What FOREIGN countries have you visited? singapore, philippines, fiji, usa, canada, uae, mauritius, england, france, italy, belgium, spain, greece, germany, the netherlands, czech republic. i think that’s it... Can you run FAST? nope. Do you have a big FAMILY? yeah kinda. Do you have A FACEBOOK? yes. Do you like FRENCH toast? yes!! Have you ever been to FINLAND? nope. Are you FEMALE? yes. Do you know anyone who lives on a FARM? yes. G! Do you believe in GHOSTS? nah. Are you good at GEOMETRY? nope. What is one of your GOALS? find a good career. Have you ever pet a GOAT? yes. What year did you/are you going to GRADUATE high school? 2009. Are any of your GRANDPARENTS still living? unfortunately not. What GRADE in school was your favorite? 11th i think. When was the last time you gave someone a GIFT? yesterday! Have you ever seen a GRIZZLY bear? i don’t think so. If a GENIE granted you 3 wishes what would you wish for? unlimited money, happiness and health for me and everyone i love. Does your house have a GARDEN? yes, a huge one. What about a GARAGE? yes. Do you like to chew GUM? yes. Have you ever done GYMNASTICS? as a kid. H! What is your HOMETOWN? i live about 30 minutes form my hometown. When's the last time you had a HAIRCUT? maybe three months ago. What HAND do you write with? right. Have you ever ridden a HORSE? yes. Do you like HOT chocolate? yes, but i only ever drink it in winter. When's the last time you ate a HAMBURGER? yesterday. Do you have neat HANDWRITING? not super neat, but it’s legible. What is your favorite HOLIDAY? christmas. Do you like the musical HAMILTON? i haven’t seen it. when i was in nyc this april every show was sold out but people were reselling their tickers for thousands of dollars. no thanks. Are you in HIGH school? nope. Do you enjoy HIKING? no, i hate it with a passion. What is your HEIGHT? 5'4". Who is your HERO? my parents. Are you HUNGRY? nope. I! Do you like ICE in your water? yes. Are you INSIDE right now? yes. What's your favorite INTERNATIONAL food? japanese and chinese. oh, greek food is nice too! and korean! Have you ever been an INTERN anywhere? yes.
Do you use the INTERNET a lot? everyday. What is your favorite musical INSTRUMENT? piano or guitar. What is something you're INTERESTED in? traveling. When was the last time you used INDEX cards? i never really did, not even when i was studying for exams. Do you like the color INDIGO? yes. Have you ever had a job INTERVIEW? yes. What's your favorite ICE cream flavor? cookie dough. J! Are you wearing any JEWELRY? yes, i wear my necklace and bracelet 24/7. Do you like JAZZ music? it sounds good but i don’t actively listen to it. Are you JEALOUS of anyone? no. Do you write in a JOURNAL? nope. What is your dream JOB? something that allows me to travel a lot. Do you know anyone who's a JUDGE? nope. Can you JUMP high? no. Do you know any funny JOKES? eh, not really. What does your favorite JACKET look like? it’s just a plain denim jacket from h&m. Do you know anyone named JOHN? yes. Have you ever played JEOPARDY? no. Have you ever seen a JELLYFISH? yes. How about a JAGUAR? i don’t think i have. not even at a zoo. K! Do you like KALE? from the very few times i’ve had it, it was good. Do you know anyone in KINDERGARTEN? i know someone that will start next year. Aren't KITTENS adorable? i don’t really like cats in general. Do you own a KEY to your house? yes. Do you have any KIDS? nope. Do you own a tea KETTLE? yes. Have you ever seen a KOALA? yes. Do you have a lot of KNOWLEDGE? i do. maybe not as much as other people but whatever. Have you ever worn a KIMONO? yes. Do you like KEBOBS? yes. Do you know anyone who's had a KNEE replacement? no. Are you KIND? for the most part, yes. Do you know how to KNIT? nope. Have you ever sung KARAOKE? yes. Do you always KNOCK before entering a room? not unless i know someone’s in there. L! Do the LEAVES change color where you live? yep. obviously only in autumn. When was the last time you did LAUNDRY? i don’t remember. my mum still insists on doing it coz apparently i don’t do it right. How many LANGUAGES can you speak? two. When was the last time you went to the LIBRARY? no idea. back when i was in uni i think. Do you know anyone who's LEFT-handed? yes. When was the last time you wrote a LETTER? i wrote a quick birthday message in a card yesterday for my friend, does that count? Post some LYRICS from the song you're listening to: not listening to anything. Do you have a driver's LICENSE? yes. Is there a LIGHT on near you? yes. Have you ever seen a LION? yes. LOOK out the nearest window. What do you see? the street. Do you buy LOCAL food? yes. Have you ever eaten LOBSTER? yes. How LONG is the song you're listening to now? not listening to anything. Do you like LEMONS?: only to compliment food. M! Are you good at MATH? very basic maths i guess. What is your favorite genre of MUSIC? rnb, hip hop, neo soul. Have you received any MAIL recently? yes. What is your MOM'S name? rather not say. Do you believe in MAGIC? no. i do love illusions though. Do you wear MAKEUP? yes. Have you ever been in a MADRIGALS group? nope. Do you put MAPLE syrup on your pancakes? yes! What is one of your favorite MEMORIES? any time i’ve gone traveling. What would you do with a MILLION dollars? pay off debts, give some to family, invest in a house and save the rest. Are there any words you often MISPRONOUNCE? probably. Can you see the MOON right now? nope. Do you enjoy going to MUSEUMS? yes, i’ll happily visit any museum. When did you last use a MICROWAVE? today. Do you drink MILK? only soy or lactose free. What were you doing at MIDNIGHT last night? sleeping. Do you MISS anyone? yes. N! Do you like your NEIGHBORS? i don’t really talk to any of them. Have you ever been in the NEWSPAPER? yes haha. Do you have a NICKEL in your wallet? yes. Is it NIGHTTIME? yes. Do you have any NIECES? yes kinda, they’re my cousin’s daughters. How about NEPHEWS? same ^ but my cousin’s sons. When is the last time you wrote in a NOTEBOOK? i don’t remember. Have you ever been to NEW York City? yes. What is your favorite/lucky NUMBER?  7. What makes you NOSTALGIC? looking at old photos, listening to old songs, watching old videos and/or movies. Do you have any NICKNAMES? yes, plenty. Do you ever take NAPS? only if i haven’t had enough sleep. Do you enjoy spending time in NATURE? not usually, but i can. Do you know anyone who has a NEWFOUNDLAND (the dog)? nope. Were you born in the NINETEEN NINETIES? yes. When was the last time you read a NOVEL? a couple weeks ago. O! Do you like to eat OATMEAL? nope. Have you ever been to the OCEAN? yes. Do you work in an OFFICE? no.
Are there any OAK trees in your yard? no. Do you like OLIVES? no, i hate them. Have you ever seen a live ORCHESTRA? yes. Have you ever been to the ORTHODONTIST? nope. Are you ORGANIZED? yeah kinda. Do you like OTTERS? yeah, they’re cute. What is your favorite OUTFIT? just a plain summer dress or a tee and leggings. When is the last time you were OUTSIDE? just then. Have you ever been to The OUTBACK Steakhouse? yes. What is something you're OBSESSED with? netflix lol. Is there a door OPEN nearby?  nope.
Are you part of any ORGANIZATIONS? not really unless you count the union at work. P! Do you have a PUPPY? yeah but he’s not a puppy anymore, he’s an oldie. Do you like PAINTING? i haven’t painted in years. Have you ever had a PEN PAL? yes, just my cousin lol. Do you own any PALAZZO pants? nope. What's your favorite kind of PIZZA? meat lovers. What are you PASSIONATE about? tbh i’m not sure. is that bad lol. What's the best PERFORMANCE you've ever been to? beyonce. Do you get along with your PARENTS? yes. What's the last thing you PAID for? presents for my god daughter. What kind of PHONE do you have? iphone 7. Can you play the PIANO? i can but very basic stuff. What is your favorite kind of PIE? apple. Is PURPLE your favorite color? not my fave but i still like it. Have you ever been to a PLANETARIUM? yes. Do you like POETRY? not really. Do you carry a PURSE? yes. Q! Do you like answering QUESTIONS? sure. Is it QUIET in the room right now? yes. Have you ever made a QUILT? nope. Have you ever been in a QUARTET? no. Did you ever collect state QUARTERS? no. When did you last have a QUIZ in school? no idea, maybe five years ago. What is your favorite QUOTE? i don’t have one. Do you ever QUACK like a duck? umm nope lol. R! How often do you listen to the RADIO? every now and then when i do short driving trips. Do you like to READ? yes. Is it RAINING? no. it was earlier though. Have you ever been to a RALLY? nope. Name 3 things in your REFRIGERATOR: ketchup, cheese, water. Have you ever had a REHEARSAL for something? yes. Have you ever been to a RENAISSANCE festival? nope. What makes you feel RELAXED? massages. Does your family have REUNIONS? yes. What is your favorite RESTAURANT? i depends which cuisine. but i do love any kbbq. Have you ever sat on your ROOF? nope. Do you have a ROOMMATE? no, just family. Do you have a Labrador or Golden RETRIEVER? nope. Do you know anyone who is RETIRED? yes. Do you like RASPBERRIES? they’re okay. When you go to an event do you buy REFRESHMENTS? yes. S! Have you ever been SAILING? not proper sailing. Do you ever shop at a SALVATION Army? i have before. Do you like to eat free SAMPLES in the grocery store? sure. Do you have a SISTER? yes. Can you speak SPANISH? no. What SCHOOL do you go to? I'm not in school. Do you like the game SCRABBLE? yes. Have you ever been to SPAIN? yes. Have you ever been in a SPELLING bee? no. Name someone you know who is an amazing SINGER: eh... idk lol. When was the last time you saw a SQUIRREL? when i was in usa. Does it SNOW a lot where you live? it has never snowed here. Are you wearing SOCKS? nope. Do you own a SKETCHBOOK? yes, but i don’t use it.
When was the last time you took a SHOWER? today. Do you know the song from West Side Story called SOMEWHERE? idk. T! Who was the last person you TEXTED? my boyfriend. Do you like to drink TEA? i do but very rarely. Have you ever played a TAMBOURINE? yes. Who is/was your favorite TEACHER? tbh i didn’t have one. Do you like to shop at TARGET? yes. Do you have a TAPESTRY in your room? nope. What's the TEMPERATURE outside? idk probably around 20 degrees c. What is your favorite T-SHIRT? my oversized striped one. Do you own a TEDDY bear? no. Are you a TEENAGER? no. Are you interested in THEATER? not really. What TIME is it? 12:28am. Do you have a TRAMPOLINE? nope. Can you read music in TREBLE clef? nope lol. Have you ever had a pet TURTLE? no. Have you ever TUTORED anyone? yeah kinda. U! What is UNDER your bed? a lot of junk and early christmas presents that i’ve bought. Have you ever had to wear a UNIFORM for anything? yes, work. When was the last time you saw your UNCLE? in april. Do you go to a UNIVERSITY? no i already graduated. Do you live in an URBAN area? yes. When was the last time you used an UMBRELLA? i forgot. Do you know anyone who is a UNITARIAN? nope. Have you ever been an USHER? nope. Can you UNDERSTAND other languages? yes. What makes you UNIQUE? just the way i look i guess. When was the last time you went UPSTAIRS? just then. How many months are there UNTIL your birthday? less than a month. V! Do you know anyone who is a VEGETARIAN? nope. When did you last use a VACUUM cleaner? last week. Where is the last place you went on VACATION?  vegas. Do you know anyone who plays the VIOLIN? nope. Have you ever wanted to be a VETERINARIAN? no. What countries would you like to VISIT? japan and the bahamas. Have you ever taken VOICE lessons? nope. What was the last thing you bought from a VENDING machine? a drink. Have you ever been to Martha's VINEYARD? nope. How about VERMONT? no. Do you like VANILLA ice cream? no. Have you ever VOLUNTEERED anywhere? yes. Are you registered to VOTE? yes. Do you have perfect VISION? no. i wish! W! Do you drink a lot of WATER? yes i do actually. What's in your WALLET? license, debit card, credit card, membership cards. Do you wear a WATCH? not since my apple watch broke :( What is the WALLPAPER on your computer? it’s of cityscapes all over the world. it changes every five minutes i think. Have you ever read the WARRIORS books? no. Can you WHISTLE? yes. Do you like WOLVES? tbh i’ve never seen any irl. What is your favorite WORD? fiasco. Is it WINDY outside? no. Have you ever painted with WATERCOLORS? yes. What time did you WAKE up today? midday. Are there any WATERFALLS near where you live? nope. Have you ever seen a WHALE? yes. If you have a dog does it WAG its tail a lot? whenever he sees anyone. Have you ever been to WASHINGTON, DC?  yes. Have you ever been to a WEDDING? yes. X! Have you ever had an X-RAY? yes. Can you play the XYLOPHONE? i mean i can but i can’t play anything nice lol. Can you speak or understand XHOSA? nope. Y! Does your house have a big YARD? yeah, it’s huge. Have you ever done YOGA? no. Do you like YOGURT? sometimes. Do you have a YEARBOOK from high school? yes. Are you wearing anything that is the color YELLOW? nope. Have you ever had a YARD sale? no. What YEAR were you born? 1990. Have you ever heard the song YOU Will Be Found? nope. Have you ever been part of a YOUTH group? yes. What did you do YESTERDAY? had dinner with friends. What's something YUMMY you ate recently? tacos. What's the last YOUTUBE video you watched? some buzzfeed video of a girl going on a date with a real life vampire lmao. Z! Have you ever seen a ZEBRA? yes. What is your ZODIAC sign? sagittarius. Are you wearing anything with a ZIPPER? nope. Have you ever seen the movie ZOOTOPIA? yes, it was cute, Do you use ZIPLOCK bags? no. Do you know anyone named ZOE? no. Have you ever been to ZIMBABWE? no.
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hivyn · 6 years
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all of them!
oh jeez, why omg 
1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.
i was sitting in the theater and was so amazed by everything. I hyped myself up for it by reading the book and it was so worth it. I still love httyd. 
2: Talk about your first kiss.
OOOH boi. It was bad. We just finished watching zootopia, the dude kept staring at me, but I was so into the animation and the end credits and wanted to see who did what because I am a nerd like that. Dude had to tap me on the shoulder and just went for it. I felt nothing. Just that i was kissed and mentally just went “okay that happened, but I wanted to finish watching the credits…”
3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.
yeeeeee,not really sure anymore, romantically because of a relationship would be my ex, romantically as in a crush, well, I am a pining dork who never follows through with things so, that would be a long list… 
4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.
Not following through on said feelings towards people. Probably would be a lot better off in that department. 
5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.
It was a snow storm on my b-day again and we were trapped in my friend’s house for a week and we made the catch from scratch with the old oven they had. It was pretty neat. 
6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.
the superbowl and painting the house took priority. 
7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.
I am really insecure about my body, and if whoever likes me is okay with it. I don’t have flawless skin. It is scarred and it is ever changing with certain things and I have been trying really hard to care for it, but I don’t think that will be much help. I want to be as pretty and I think I could be, but there are just some days where I don’t think that is possible. 
8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.
My family and friends (cheesy I know). They have done so many cool things and are still changing the world and growing and it makes me so happy to see them progress. 
9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.
I have a lot of dimples when I smile. My eye lashes are really long. I have a bunch of teeny moles. I got a scar on my thumb that I like to rub. 
10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.
Me and my mom I think over my grades back in high school. I can’t even remember the details of it other than being upset. 
11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.
Pink vader pollypocket shows up as me and my friends and parading this mall/airport/smoothieshop/homedepot hybrid which led to a telekinetic fighting ring where my bestie at the time macked out with the dude who was winning for info as we escaped pollypocket-vader
12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.
A tornado took everything away that I loved while I was chained down. Then i was scared and alone on a glacier in a circus, but it was water instead of sand, as an orca bumped it a bunch to get me to fall in the waters. 
13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.
awkward af I imagine. I know a lot of stuff for it, but that isn’t going to help. My hair will probably be colorful or long though. 
14: Talk about a vacation.
I went with my family to Puerto Rico. We saw the entire island and even some smaller outcropping ones. We went to the rainforest again. We saw all the varying shades of the ocean. Ate/drank coconuts. Enjoyed family time too. 
15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.
I was just sitting in the living room with my family. I was on break, my siblings and I were just playing fantasy life, eating home made chex mix, watching horrible christmas romcom’s with our mom. Our dad was going to be home later. My cat was cuddled up into me. I really felt at home and safe. 
16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.
So I don’t go out much so I can’t recall. 
17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.
They are really cute and sweet. I am so curious about them too. I want to talk to them, but when I get the courage they leave early or I get interrupted. I just want to know them better. 
18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.
We always went to the country fair as a class to see the firetrucks, some class activities. Holding chicks. Milking a cow. Pulling up potatoes. Go to the petting zoo. Etc. 
19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.
I was friends with the science teacher’s granddaughter and was frequently bullied. So when one of my bullies went to the bathroom, while we were all sort of distracted, he put a fake piece of poop in her seat. She came back and flipped out. He said “You left us a gift in the toilets and on the seat? How generous”
20: Talk about something that happened in high school.
My computer tech teacher got out a blow torch and a screw driver and roasted some s’mores for us. 
21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.
I was not feeling this one guy. He was sweet, but was not my type. He asked me out on a date and I said no. Then I saw him at a class reunion and thankfully my classmate sat next to me because dude would not stop staring and trying to change my mind. 
22: Talk about your worst fear.
... I am scared of dying (? on the list really) I want to do so many things and love and cherish people and to just have that suddenly stop, I don’t know how I feel about it.  
23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.
I don’t go out much, or date so it was pretty much, “want to get a coffee together” “not really, no” “okay see you” 
24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.
My sister told me she was proud of my progress in my art.
25: Talk about an ex-best friend.
We just don’t talk anymore. I moved away and we stopped talking. I think about them a lot. I wonder if they are okay. 
26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick.
Cuddle my cat. Drink tea or soda. crackers and soup are my diet for the day. sleep for ages. stay in bed. 
27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.
I love when people smile. Their whole face lights up or crinkles and it is really amazing to see people happy. 
28: Talk about your fetishes.
I wouldn’t know? Probably something vanilla?? 
29: Talk about what turns you on.
I am still figuring this out about myself tbh, and is super rare for me. Sometimes I just see a person and the rest of me is like “yes, that is good.” 
30: Talk about what turns you off.
easy, noncon stuff. 
31: Talk about what you think death is like.
Absence. Just a sudden hum in your ears. Everything is both light and dark. You feel weightless, as if you don’t remember what the rest of your existence was like. You are just there. 
32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.
My yard from Oklahoma. We had an acre of land. Lots of exploring. We had several trees close to the house and a hill in the back that had a fence with horses. (May have shocked myself feeding said horses) We had a pretty little garden box surrounding the front door that lead to the driveway with clovers and various other flowers.
33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.
I hide away. I close myself off, I get quiet. I put on layers of clothes or at least conceal my face. I listen to sad music or something with a lull to it. I make sure no one is around so I can cry in peace. 
34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.
I bruised my hip or tailbone. Black bruising to the bone. I couldn’t walk. It hurt to sit down. I had to waddle everywhere, and even then I had pain shooting up my spine with each step. I couldn’t lean down or shift my hips to get comfy. Sleeping was impossible to do. I was shaking a bunch the first day with just moving. 
35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.
Picking my face and scratching my neck. Nervous/bored habits die hard.
36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.
I love ghost adventures and spooky things, but I get so scared afterwards. I also love horribly cliche romcom’s. I also love to watch syfy cheesy movies or medical shows. 
37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.
We were doing great too. We talked about the future. I had felt comfortable with them at the time. And then it changed, I didn’t feel comfortable anymore. It felt off, like a lie. I was hoping to feel something, but nothing happened. And I felt horrible about it. 
38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.
Cheap Thrills reminds me of my friend Sparrow. Girl of Fire is my friend Tim. My sister is Here Comes a Thought. 
39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.
That I was going to be in school longer because of my major, or that my credits were worthless at this new university. 
40: Talk about the end of something in your life.
My dog Highfive died back when I was in highschool. We had him for ten years and loved him so much, then he was gone. He got sick and it was just a matter of time, but it still hurt. I was the only one out of my siblings to go see him while he was not doing so hot. It was scary, but I am glad I got to say goodbye. 
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