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justcallmefox89 · 4 years

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Truth or Dare Part 6 - Diavolo’s Ending

Arianthi’s choices have the potential to shake up the House of Lamentation and the Devildom, but is she ready to accept everything Diavolo is offering her? After an unexpected altercation Mammon is offered something he never expected.

Written from the perspective of my female OC Arianthi.

NSFW - penetrative sex, unprotected sex, impact play, rough sex

TWs - physical violence.

Mood Playlist: (I don’t know what it is about writing Diavolo that brings out the dramatics and my inner theater kid lol)

Jonathan Young - Beauty and the Beast (cover) Jonathan Young - All I Ask of You (cover) LP - The One That You Love Jeremy Jordan - It’s All Coming Back to Me Now Yohiro - My Nocturnal Serenade

Mammon’s kiss is rough and insistent, I can feel my lips bruising beneath his. I shake my head and try to wiggle out of his grip.

“Mammon? Mammon, stop! We have to talk -”

“Mammon!”

“LET HER GO!”

I hear two voices cry out in unison; Lucifer’s measured, controlled tones and Diavolo, his voice deep with pain and something I’ve never heard before......rage.

Mammon lets me go and we take a few steps away from each other, both of us breathing heavily. I barely manage a glance at Mammon before I’m bodily picked up and my view of him is obstructed by four huge black wings and a bare, broad back. I see the familiar markings and realize with a shock that Diavolo has shifted to his demon form.

Oh my god. He’s going to kill Mammon.

I hear footsteps behind me and realize the the rest of the demon brothers have come running, skidding to a stop behind me.

“Arianthi?” Asmo gasps.

“What’s.....going....on?” Levi asks, hands on his knees, sucking in deep breaths of air.

Satan peers around me at the trio in the kitchen, brow furrowed. “We heard shouting. Why are you here? And why is-?

“Guys......bigger problems right now!” Belphie interrupts Satan, raising a finger to point at Diavolo, who is slowly advancing on Mammon.

“How dare you touch her?” Diavolo’s voice is low, thick with menace.

Mammon glares back at him defiantly, still in demon form, refusing to give an inch as Diavolo stalks towards him.

“Lucifer! Do something!” Beel appeals to his older brother, pupils blown wide with fear.

Lucifer takes half a step forward, then relents, shaking his head silently. He’s not going to interfere, even if it means his lord kills his younger brother.

Beel growls low in his throat and begins to shift, but Lucifer shoots him a look of warning.

“This is the last time you touch what isn’t yours Mammon.” Diavolo has backed Mammon into a corner. “Don’t resist and I’ll take you outside. I won’t make your brothers watch this.”

Mammon shoots a panicked look over Diavolo’s shoulder, blue eyes meeting mine.

“Oh for the love of......!”

It finally clicks in my brain that none of the brothers are going to step in. I run towards Diavolo, feet slipping on the kitchen tiles. I grab him around the waist, attempting to stop his forward trajectory. He drags me right along with him, my efforts in vain.

“Diavolo stop! Stop! You’re going to hurt him!” I shout, trying to get his attention.

Diavolo looks down at me, head cocked to the side. For the first time since I’ve met him, I’m afraid truly afraid. His deep amber eyes flash gold in the room’s low light; he’s now a predator in search of prey. “I know.”

Fear trickles down my spine and I break out in goosebumps. “You can’t!”

Those golden eyes narrow and laser in on me. “You would tell me what to do?! A human would attempt to give orders to me in my own kingdom?!”

“Arianthi get back here!” Belphie hisses.

I glance over my shoulder and see him clutching his cow pillow, eyes wide.

Diavolo takes another step towards Mammon, reaching out to grab his throat. He lifts Mammon with one hand and I hear Mammon struggling, clawing at Diavolo’s hand and kicking his feet, attempting to find purchase.

He’s really going to kill him.

I squeeze Diavolo’s waist tight and dig in my heels, attempting to pull him back. “My prince stop! Please, Lord Diavolo!”

Blood has started to trickle from Mammon’s nose and his eyes roll back in his head.

I’m going to be sick.

I bury my face in Diavolo’s back, tears stinging my eyes.

“Diavolo! Stop Dia, please! Please, for me..... please don’t hurt him!” I beg one more time.

I hear a sudden, sickening thud as Mammon’s body hits the ground and feel myself move as Diavolo takes a step back. I duck beneath one of his wings and scramble towards Mammon on my hands and knees.

“Mammon! Mammon, open your eyes!” I pull him halfway into my lap, patting his cheeks and attempting to wipe the blood from his face with the hem of my shirt.

“Lucifer! Satan!” I scream for their help, realizing I’m well on my way to being hysterical but refusing to give in to it until I know Mammon is alright.

I feel, rather than see, Satan and Lucifer drop to their knees next to me, both reaching out to take measure of their brother’s injuries.

“Arianthi. We’re leaving.” Diavolo is still in his demon form, looking down at me, extending his hand to help me up.

I shake my head and cling tighter to Mammon. “No! Not until I know he’s ok.”

He scowls at me.

“I said we’re leaving.” He enunciates each syllable, voice low and threatening.

“And I said no!” I tearfully give Mammon a small shake, willing him to wake up. “You almost killed him Dia!”

That seems to snap Diavolo out of his haze, and fury slowly fades from his face as his body relaxes.

Mammon rolls to his side and coughs roughly, eyelids flickering. “Human?”

“I’m here, I’m here,” I reassure him, rubbing his back soothingly. “Beel’s going to take you to your room, alright? And Satan is coming too, so he can check on your throat.”

I look up at Satan to make sure that’s fine, and he nods his ok while motioning for Beel to come get Mammon.

Beel picks Mammon up like he weighs nothing and leaves the kitchen, the other brothers, with the exception of Lucifer, filing out after him.

When it’s just the three of us left we all stand silently staring at each other. I slump against the counter, filled with too many emotions. I’ve gone from sad, to angry, to freaked out, to scared shitless, all in the span of about twenty minutes.

As I look back and forth between the two demons in front of me, rage starts to creep in, buzzing in the back of my skull like a horde of flies.

“Lucifer, you should go check on Mammon. We can see ourselves out.” My voice sounds icy, calm despite the fury that’s threatening to set fire to the blood in my veins.

He was really going to let Mammon die. He wasn’t going to do a damn thing to save him.

Lucifer looks to Diavolo for confirmation.

“I said, go check on Mammon. We’ll be back in a few days.”

Both demons stare down at me, wearing identical frowns.

“With an apology.” I fix a glare at Diavolo, daring him to argue.

I wish a motherfucker would. I. Wish. A. Motherfucker. Would.

Diavolo opens his mouth as if to say something, then snaps it closed and gives Lucifer a curt nod.

Despite his confusion at the shift in power dynamics Lucifer nods. “I will speak to you soon my lord. Arianthi.”

As soon as he’s out of sight, I stalk to the front door and out of the House of Lamentation without waiting to see if Diavolo is following. He catches up to me quickly, one of his steps making three or four of my own.

Bastard.

“Arianthi,” he says softly, reaching out for my hand. “Please stop.”

“I swear to god if you lay one finger one me I will bite it off.” I hiss, never breaking my stride.

Diavolo flinches back, startled. He stays a few paces behind me for the duration of our walk back to the castle. I storm in, past a clearly flustered Barbatos, and make my way to our bedroom. I try to slam the door in Diavolo’s face but he’s too quick.

Bastard!

“You’re going to be sleeping somewhere else tonight,” I inform Diavolo with a bravado I don’t feel. A hysterical laugh escapes through my lips, and I clap both hands over my mouth.

I’m trying to order the prince of the Devildom out of his own bedroom. After he almost killed another demon. After he almost killed Mammon.

Another laugh leaks out. Along with a few tears.

I collapse on the edge of the bed, my shaking knees finally giving out on me. I dig the heels of my hands into my eyes, attempting to fend off more tears. I hear a rustle of fabric and bring my hands down. Diavolo is back in human form, kneeling in front of me.

The fragile dam holding in my emotions breaks.

“How could you do that? You almost killed him Dia!” I wrap my arms around my stomach and hunch over, attempting to self soothe.

He reaches out for me then pulls his hand back, thinking better of it. He sighs. “I am so sorry Princess. I wish you hadn’t seen that.”

“I wish you hadn’t done that!” I snap back.

“He shouldn’t have touched you!” Diavolo growls at me, eyes flashing gold again.

“So strangling him was the answer?! I could have handled it! What were you even doing there?”

Diavolo inhales deeply. I’m aware I’m punching every button on his console but I really don’t care.

“Could you have though? Really? How would you have handled it princess?” He demands. “ And I was there because you weren’t in bed when I came up. The House of Lamentation was the only place where I thought you may be.”

“I would have talked to him! He’s only like that because we left things a mess between us; we need to clear the air.”

“So now you’re excusing him?” Diavolo is aghast.

“No, I’m not excusing him, but I understand why he did what he did. He’s hurt and he’s confused.”

“You’re excusing him.” He repeats stubbornly. “And you would have attempted to reason with him, while he was in his demon form? He could have killed you with a flick of his wrist Arianthi!”

I shake my head, just as stubborn. “Mammon would never hurt me on purpose.”

“Humans are fragile! Especially here. He could have killed you without meaning too!”

“Oh for Christ’s sake Diavolo!” I fall back onto the mattress, exasperated. “I could be killed just as easily in the human realm. A goose could take me out on a roller coaster for all we know. So just fuck off with your “humans are so fragile” bullshit.”

“A goose on a roller coaster?” Diavolo pauses for a minute, considering, then gets back on track. “He still shouldn’t have put his hands on what’s mine.”

I sit up very slowly. “I beg your pardon?”

His eyes widen. “What?”

“What’s yours?” I use my fingers to make air quotes. “I’m a person, not a puppy Dia.”

“I know. But you’re in a relationship with me. Making you effectively mine.”

I’m gobsmacked at the finality in his tone. “No. Not how things work. Humans don’t belong to each other.”

“I’m not a human!” He roars out, clearly frustrated by our conversation.

His outburst shocks me into silence, and I fold my hands in my lap, unsure what to do.

“I’m sorry Arianthi, I shouldn’t have -”

“No,” I interrupt him. “No, you’re right. You’re not human. I’ve let myself forget that. You’ve spoiled me and you’ve been so loving and attentive. You’re such an amazing boyfriend Dia. But you’ve protected me from so much here....... I forgot that fundamentally we are very, very different.”

Diavolo looks like I’ve slapped him. I try to look anywhere but his hurt face, casting about for something to do.

“I’m going to go take a shower,” I say, standing up.

He nods mutely as I slip past him into the bathroom. I click the lock, and turn on the shower, adjusting the water temperature to just under boiling. My arm has a few bruises from where Mammon grabbed me - nothing serious. I scrub at my skin harshly, trying to cleanse myself of my frustration and fear.

I want to go home. Do I really though?

I sigh and thunk my head against the wall of the shower.

No. If I’m honest with myself I don’t want to. And if I’m really honest with myself.......I’m in love with both......nope. Not going there. Nope. No.

I indulge myself in another deep sigh.

I’m not built for this kind of introspection. Between the two of them I forgot how dangerous the Devildom can be for a human. And tonight they showed me how dangerous they both can be with the right provocation.

I brush my wet hair out of my eyes and turn under the spray of hot water, rinsing the last of the soap from my body.

Am I even really safe from them?

I feel a hot rush of guilt and shame for the thought.

I just hate this situation. I hate feeling so weak and frustrated.

I stifle a scream and turn off the water.

Hopefully Dia is gone. Or asleep, and I can sneak off to one of the guest rooms.

When I emerge from the bathroom, dry and wrapped in a large towel, I see that once again this evening luck is not on my side. Diavolo is sitting in one of our bedroom’s large armchairs, idly flipping through the pages of a book.

He gives me a cautious smile. “Hey princess.”

“Hello.” I walk to the closet and look for something to sleep in. After a few minutes of searching I grumble in frustration. Since I’ve moved into Diavolo’s bedroom I’ve been sleeping in his shirts; I can’t even locate any of my own pajamas.

“Of for the love of Christ!” I rub my hands over my face in frustration.

“Something wrong princess?”

I jump, startled. I turn around to see Diavolo standing behind me, looking concerned.

“Don’t call me that!” I snap at him.

His face falls. “I apologize. Is something wrong Arianthi?”

I turn back to the closet shelves to search again.

“You almost killed one of the men I -” I grumble, before stopping myself with a squeak of surprise. I stiffen momentarily, praying that Diavolo didn’t hear me.

Does God still listen to prayers once you start sleeping with a demon?

Diavolo takes a step closer and places his hands on my shoulders, turning me around to face him. He winces at how I flinch at his touch. He reaches up to cup my jaw with one large hand.

“I am so sorry Arianthi. Despite what has happened, I know that Mammon is important to you. All the brothers are. I shouldn’t have let my possessiveness of you get that out of control. I promise you I will make this right with Mammon. And with you. Tell me what you need from me to make this right,” he pleads, his gentle eyes searching my face.

I chew on my lower lip. “You need to apologize to Mammon.”

“Done. As soon as possible.”

“And....” I suck in a deep breath, suddenly lightheaded. “I want you to let Lucifer out of his pledge to you.”

Diavolo’s eyes widen. “I’m sorry?”

“I want you to let Lucifer out of his pledge to you,” I repeat again, with more confidence.

He narrows his eyes at me. “Lucifer’s pledge is none of your concern.”

“Because this is your kingdom and I’m just a human?” I challenge him, my voice bitter.

Diavolo’s face falls. “No, princess. I’m so sorry I said that. That is in no way how I feel about you.”

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to his chest. I stiffen for a minute, then relax into his embrace.

“But I really do fail to see how Lucifer’s pledge is of concern in this matter.”

I place my hands on his chest and push back slightly, so I’m able to look up at him.

“You’re almost killed his brother Dia. And he didn’t step in because of his pledge to you. He couldn’t even allow his other brothers help Mammon.” I look into his eyes, willing him to understand what I’m saying.

“You feel that Lucifer’s pledge to me is too much?”

“I really do. I understand that he’s your second in command, so why can’t he just be that, without his pledge? If this is something that has the potential to put his family at risk, or that means he places you above his family.........” I shake my head. “That’s not fair Dia. You can’t ask him to do that.”

“Princess...” Diavolo trails off, still not completely convinced.

Almost there. Time to bring out the big guns.

I look at him with my best puppy dog eyes. “It’s been centuries since Lilith. And Lucifer has served you faithfully every day since then. He still will I’m sure, but he deserves the chance to make his own decisions Dia, not just be blindly loyal to you.”

I pause for a few beats.

“Please baby?” I whisper.

When Diavolo lets out a low groan I know that I’ve won.

“You are entirely too much princess.” He drops a kiss onto my forehead. “When we go speak with Mammon I will inform Lucifer he is free of his pledge to me.”

I hug him tightly. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

I let out a yelp as he suddenly picks me up and walks towards the bed. “What are you doing?”

He drops me on the mattress and shrugs. “I’m tired of talking in the closet.”

He strips off his jacket and sits down next to me. “I am so sorry for what happened tonight. For hurting Mammon, for scaring you. For hurting you and making you question what you mean to me.”

He pulls me into his lap, resting his forehead against mine. “I will never stop trying to make this up to you.”

I loop my arms over his shoulders. “I believe you.”

He nuzzles his face into my neck. “I love you princess.”

“I love you too.” I idly play with his hair, marveling for the hundredth time at how soft it is.

“Even though we’re so different?” His question is whispered against my neck, so soft that I almost don’t hear it.

“Oh Dia.....” I reach down and cup his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me.

“Of course I do. Us being different isn’t a deal breaker. We still have a lot of things to learn about each other, but as long as we’re open and communicate honestly everything will be fine.”

Diavolo nods, then gives me a little smile. “You’re right.”

I boop his nose. “I often am.”

“And so modest.” He chuckles and pulls me into a kiss.

It starts out soft, a gentle teasing of lips and tongues, but quickly turns heated. I card my hands through his hair and tug roughly, biting at his lower lip hard enough to draw blood.

He pulls away from me, shocked, and touches his fingers to his lip. When he pulls them away and sees a few drops of blood, his eyes darken with something I can quite place.

“Still mad at me my princess?”

I feel my face flush.

“I may still have some aggression to get out,” I mutter, refusing to look at him.

Diavolo grabs my chin and forces my head up. He grins at me, looking feral in the low light of the bedroom. “I can help with that.”

He yanks my towel off and I hear fabric ripping. He carelessly tosses the scraps to the floor then grabs my hips, positioning me so that I’m straddling his thigh. One of his hands grips the back of my neck as the other slides up my stomach to cup my breast.

“Kiss me,” he growls.

I hesitate for a moment and Diavolo roughly pinches my nipple, drawing a shocked gasp from my lips. His hand leaves my neck long enough to deliver a stinging slap to my ass. I jump at the impact and let out a whimper.

“Do as you’re told princess,” he whispers in my ear, nipping at my earlobe.

I bring my lips close to his, barely touching. “You’re playing rough tonight my prince,” I murmur.

“You started it.” He lowers his head and his fangs close in on the delicate skin of my neck while his hand delivers another sharp smack to my ass.

I seal my mouth over his, licking along his lower lip and tasting blood. His hands grip my hips, forcing me to grind down against his thigh. I gasp at the intense friction against my clit, and his tongue flicks against mine. I fist his shirt in my hands, trying to bring him closer.

When we finally break apart I kiss along his jaw and down his neck, my fingers fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. His hands keep working my hips in a delicious rhythm against his thigh while I yank open his shirt, dropping kisses across his chest.

“Shirt. Off,” I demand, moving back up to his mouth.

He chuckles against my lips. “As you wish.”

He shrugs his shirt off and my hands immediately begin exploring the smooth skin of his shoulders and chest. I move in to kiss him again, but he winds some of my hair around his fist and yanks me back hard, so that my chest is arched towards him.

Diavolo’s mouth works feverishly against my skin, leaving warm, wet kisses and sharp bites over my breasts. He sucks one of my nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue and scraping his fangs against it.

“Dia,” I whine, moving my hips helplessly. As good as the friction from his thigh feels, I want him to fuck me.

A sharp slap rings out and I feel the sting of his palm against my ass once again. I scream out and jerk forwards, pleasure and pain making it hard to think clearly.

“No whining,” Diavolo commands. He gives my shoulder a sharp bite, one hand coming between us to rub my clit.

“You have made such a mess on these pants,” he mumbles against the skin of my neck.

I gasp and dig my fingernails into his shoulders, tension gathering in my lower abdomen. He continues to use one finger to lazily circle my clit and mouths at my neck while I grind into him, chasing my orgasm. I’m right at the edge when abruptly removes his finger.

“What the fuck?” I whimper.

He smiles at me before lowering his head to flick his tongue against my nipple. “Tell me what you want Arianthi.”

“I want you.” I tug at his hair, holding his head in place while his mouth works against me.

He stops long enough to say, “You have me,” before sucking forcefully on my nipple again, his hand palming and squeezing my other breast.

I groan in frustration and pleasure. “Fuck me.....I want you to fuck me.”

He chuckles darkly. “Not yet baby. Cum on my thigh first. Then I’ll fuck you.”

I reach between us, running my hand along the length of his erection, reveling in the moan that leaves his lips. One of his hands is on my waist, fingers pressing deeply into my skin. I clumsily undo his belt, then his button and zipper, before reaching into his pants and freeing his cock. I tease the tip with my thumb, smearing pre-cum, before softly running my fingertips over the velvet soft skin of his hardness.

“Such a little cock tease.” Diavolo brings his lips to mine, kissing me hungrily.

I use one hand to stroke his cock, the other I place on his shoulder to steady myself as I slowly start rolling my hips. The hard muscles of his thigh and the rough fabric of his pants rubbing against my clit make for an intense duality of sensations and I moan into his mouth.

“That’s right baby.” Diavolo takes my lower lip between his teeth and tugs. “Just like that.”

I tighten my grip on his cock and he hisses in pleasure, hips bucking. My breath starts coming in short pants, pleasure building as Diavolo uses his mouth and hands on me. One last roll of my hips has me seeing stars and crying out his name. He holds me close to his chest, peppering my face with soft kisses as I come down from my high.

My body is pleasantly loose, humming with satisfaction from my orgasm and the feel of Diavolo’s mouth. I wind my arms around his neck and lazily return his kisses.

“Ready for more my princess?” Diavolo asks, nuzzling my hair.

I nod eagerly, pressing an open mouthed kiss to his throat.

“Good.” He squeezes my ass, sore from his earlier slaps, and turns, sending me tumbling onto the mattress. “On your hands and knees my love. Ass up.”

I rush to obey his command, pressing my chest and face against the mattress and arching my back, wiggling my hips in excitement.

Finally.

Diavolo stands, and I hear the rustle of his pants hitting the floor and the clinking of his belt buckle. I turn my head to look at him and see that he’s folding his belt into a makeshift strop.

Oh, so we’re playing like that tonight.

The mattress sinks beneath his weight and I feel bare skin brush mine as he settles behind me. Cool leather traces the curve of my spine as one of his calloused fingers traces small patterns over my ass.

“As pretty as my hand prints look on your skin, I’d love to mark you up just a little more,” Diavolo says. He bring the belt between my legs, giving my pussy a few light smacks. “Are you up for a little more, princess?”

“Yes my prince,” I reply breathily, trying to anticipate his next move.

Diavolo growls low in appreciation. “Count for me then. To ten.”

I barely have time to nod before supple leather cracks against my skin. “Ah!”

“Count for me baby,” he orders, slowly slipping one finger into my pussy.

I involuntarily react at the invasion, my slick walls tightly gripping his finger.

“Fuck,” he groans out, slowly pulling his finger out halfway then thrusting back in.

“O-o-one” I stutter out.

Another crack and the sting of leather again my skin. “Two.”

A second finger joins the first, gently preparing me for his cock, in tandem with another lash against my ass. The gentle rhythm of his fingers is at odds with the harshness of his breathing and the sting of the strop.

“Count.”

“Three!” I move my hips back against his hand, greedy for more of him, greedy to be filled.

“So needy tonight baby,” Diavolo mumbles, his fingers never breaking rhythm as his brings his belt down again.

“Four,” I cry out, a second orgasm quickly building.

At the seventh stroke of his belt I cum around his fingers, drawing a strangled sound from his throat.

“Fuck, princess.”

I’ve barely recovered when he delivers the last three strikes in quick succession. I collapse onto the mattress, body sore and mind hazy.

“On your knees. Your prince isn’t done with you yet.”

Diavolo lifts my hips, adjusting me, and dusts kisses across my lower back.

“Oof!”

The breath is pushed from my lungs as Diavolo wraps one hand around the back of my neck, pushing my upper body into the mattress and holding me there. His other hand guides his cock to my pussy, sliding it against my slit and gathering my wetness, rubbing against my swollen clit, before finally pressing into me.

Once he’s fully buried inside me, Diavolo uses his other hand to grab my wrist and pin it behind my back. Now gripping my neck and arm, completely controlling my position, he has me right where he wants me.

He slowly, tortuously, pulls out. I whimper in protest, trying to move but his hold on me is ironclad. He teases me, presses just the head of his cock into my pussy, thrusting in short, shallow strokes before roughly bucking his hips against mine.

“Diavolo!”

He sets a brutal pace, cock merciless pounding into my pussy, the skin of his lower stomach rubbing against the welts on my ass, his balls slapping against my clit.

“I can’t believe how well you’re taking me baby. How wet you are for me, being such a good girl and letting me fuck you like this.”

Praises fall from Diavolo’s lips even as he abuses my body, and my god, what wondrous abuse it is. Being totally at his mercy is an aphrodisiac by itself, but coupled with his words and touches my body feels like it’s being consumed by my searing desire.

I feel his hips stutter and realize Diavolo is close to his own orgasm. He releases my neck and wrist, before gently pressing my whole body down onto the mattress. He slows his thrusts, leaning down against me, pressing kisses against my shoulders, hands roaming up and down my sides.

He slides one hand between my hips and the mattress, large fingers easily finding my clit.

“I want you to cum with me baby. Cum one more time for me princess.”

I mewl in response, eyes rolling back in my head. A few quick motions of his fingers have me flying apart and crying out his name. My pussy clenches down on his thick cock, squeezing hard, milking his orgasm from him as he shoots rope after rope of warm cum against my trembling walls.

He collapses against me completely, our bodies still joined, murmuring loving affirmations, running his fingers through my sweat dampened hair. He gently disentangles himself from me after a few moments and I hear him pad into the bathroom.

I stretch luxuriously, completely fucked out, and absentmindedly admire the new marks on my body. Love bites and fingernail scratches paint my skin and I can feel the welts on my ass from Diavolo’s belt. I touch my fingers to my lips; they feel puffy and swollen, and my scalp is sore from where he pulled my hair. I sigh happily and squirm deeper into the mattress, a small smile on my lips.

I feel Diavolo settle back next to me on the bed.

“Feeling better princess?” He asks, amusement in his voice.

“Much,” I sigh, opening my eyes to look at him.

He reaches out with a warm, wet washcloth and gently begins cleaning sweat and cum from my body. After he has dried me with a soft towel he applies a soothing balm to my welts and the deeper bite marks. He helps me into one of his shirts then tucks me firmly into bed, dropping a kiss on my forehead.

“I’ll be right back baby. I’m going to go grab you some water and a snack.”

He flashes me a smile as he pulls on a pair of grey sweats and quietly slips out of the room.

Surrounding by warmth and Diavolo’s familiar scent I slowly drift off, coming to only when I feel him slip under the blankets next to me and hear his low chuckle.

“Come on princess,” he urges me lovingly. “I need you to wake up and eat just a little bit for me before you go to bed.”

I blink drowsily at him. “Feed me.”

He shakes his head and laughs. “Open up then.”

I obey and suddenly taste something warm, flaky, and buttery. “Mmmmmm. I didn’t know Barbatos made bread today. “

Diavolo huffs out a small laugh. “I think it’s for tomorrow, but I doubt he’ll mind if I steal some for a midnight snack.”

He pops a piece of bread into his mouth and grins at me.

Diavolo spends the next few minutes slowly feeding me some more bread, and helping me sip some water. Once he’s satisfied he pulls me to him, cradling me against his chest, and curling his body around mine.

“I love you so much Arianthi. I will do anything in my power to make sure that you are happy,” he whispers into my hair.

“I love you too Diavolo,” I manage to reply, before I tumble off into the abyss of sleep.

Two weeks later Diavolo and I are sitting on the couch in the library of the House of Lamentation, Mammon and Lucifer sitting in the two armchairs opposite us. The air is thick with tension, and Mammon looks like he wants to jump out of his skin. He keeps shooting anxious glances at me, and I try to smile back at him encouragingly.

Diavolo starts us off. “Lucifer and Mammon, I owe each of you an apology. Mammon I shouldn’t have attacked you. That was unforgivable of me and I don’t know if I will ever be able to make it up to you. I offer you my sincerest apology.”

Mammon’s eyes shoot from me to Lucifer to Diavolo. His mouth opens and closes a few times, but he’s unable to form a response.

“Oh!” I pop up from my seat and rush to hand him a large, wrapped package.

“I got you something too. I’m sorry for yelling at you that night Mammon. And for everything that has happened between us. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I really am so sorry that I hurt you. And I got you this.”

I shove the package into his hands.

He eyes me for a minute before tearing into the wrapping paper. His mouth twitches as he smooths his hands over the soft leather of the deep wine colored jacket I had picked out for him.

“I thought the color would look really good against your skin and your hair,” I explain in a rush. “But if you don’t like it -”

“I love it ya dumb human.” Mammon looks up at me with a small smile and softly brushes his fingers against mine. “And I forgive ya. I’m sorry too. For everything.”

I give his hand a quick squeeze before returning to my seat next to Diavolo.

“I also owe you an apology Lucifer. I came into your home and attacked one of your brothers without provocation. I hope you can forgive me.”

“Of course my lord.” Lucifer seems shocked Diavolo would even apologize for that in the first place.

Diavolo looks at me and takes a deep breath before continuing. “It has been brought to my attention that I also owe you an apology for the terms of your pledge to me.”

Lucifer’s head snaps up, his eyes wide. “I don’t understand my lord.”

“You should not be bound to me by an oath that prioritizes me over your family. So I release you from your pledge to me. You have served at my side faithfully for centuries, and I hope you will continue to do so. But now you have the freedom to make your own choices, even to stand against me if you determine the situation calls for it.”

For the first time in our history together Lucifer is speechless.

“Lucifer? Are you ok?” I ask him cautiously.

He shakes his head, breaking out of daze.

“Of course Arianthi.” He gives me a slight smile, before looking to Diavolo.

“Thank you my lord. I would be honored to continue in my service to you. I can’t deny that being able to focus more on my brothers will be a welcome change.”

Diavolo grins at him. “Perfect. Now Lucifer, I would ask that you excuse us. There is something I wish to speak to Arianthi and Mammon about in private.”

Lucifer, Mammon, and I share a look of panic.

The fuck, Diavolo?

Lucifer recovers first and stands, giving Diavolo a short bow. “As you wish Lord Diavolo.”

He quickly exits the library, closing the door firmly behind him.

“Mammon, if you would, come sit next to Arianthi. I’ll take your seat.”

Diavolo stands up and Mammon hesitantly sits down on the couch, careful to keep his distance from me. Diavolo moves an armchair closer to the couch so he can sit directly across from us.

He smiles and waves a hand at Mammon and I. “You may as well sit as close as you wish. You two do love each other after all.”

I feel my spine straighten with shock and can see from the corner of my eye that Mammon has adopted a similar pose next to me.

“Diavolo-” Mammon begins to protest.

“You would deny that you love Arianthi? After that little declaration you made in your kitchen?” Diavolo cocks his head to the side in amusement. “And you my princess, I know you love him.”

We both deflate a little, but are still on guard. We stay silent.

“What are ya playin’ at Diavolo?” Mammon finally asks.

Diavolo leans forward, forearms braced on his thighs.

“I’m not playing at anything. I promised Arianthi I would do anything in my power to make her happy. She loves me, and she loves you. We both love her. So I have a proposal. Why not let her have us both Mammon?”

Mammon’s mouth goes slack with shock and I stare at Diavolo in confusion.

“Are you saying you want me to date both of you?” I manage to croak out.

Diavolo takes my hand in his. “I’m saying I want you to be happy. I’m confident in the love we share. But I would be a truly neglectful prince if I ignored my princess’s deepest wishes.”

He kisses my knuckles. “If you are accepting of this, I would offer you the chance to have us both.”

I turn to look at Mammon, who still hasn’t said anything.

“I don’t....it’s not just me Diavolo. Mammon....I don’t....” I trail off, unable to form a coherent thought.

Mammon frowns. “So what? Ya want me to move into the castle with ya? Share the bed?”

Diavolo shrugs, unconcerned. “If that’s what you and Arianthi wish.”

Mammon’s blue eyes meet mine. “I do love ya. And bein’ with ya.........ya know I want that too. But I can’t just be....”

“My dirty secret?” I finish softly.

He nods mournfully.

“I’m not asking Mammon to be kept a secret.” Diavolo reassures us. “If we decide to do this, then Mammon would be brought into this relationship as an equal. He has the same protections and privileges as you do. The same affections from me if he wishes them. And with time maybe even my love as well, if he wants, and I feel the same way.”

“Can you do that? Publicly I mean?” I ask, shocked.

Mammon has been stunned into silence next to me.

“You still struggle with the whole “Prince of the Devildom” concept don’t you, princess?” Diavolo gives a small laugh.

“Relationships like the one I’m proposing aren’t uncommon here. I am the prince, the next ruler of the Devildom. Who would stand against me? And it’s not like I’m immune to Mammon’s many physical charms. This wouldn’t exactly be a stretch for me, especially if it makes the woman I love happy.”

Mammon flushes red to the tips of his ears and mumbles something I don’t quite catch. He stays silent for a while, considering. He turns to me. “Are ya goin’ back to the human realm?”

I blush and shake my head. “I’m staying here after the exchange program is over.”

He nods.

“So this would be a long term relationship?” He aims his next question at Diavolo.

Diavolo smiles and reaches out to hold my hand. “I would like to make it a permanent relationship someday soon, if Arianthi would have me.”

I blush again at the implication Diavolo’s words.

“Ok. So sayin’ ya do make Arianthi your princess. Where would that leave me?” Mammon asks.

“It wouldn’t leave you anywhere. You would still be by our side. By Arianthi’s side,” Diavolo responds.

“And what about when it’s time for ya to have an heir?”

Mammon’s next question hits me like a bus. I knew, in an abstract way, that Diavolo would eventually have to produce an heir to the Devildom.

“What about it?” Diavolo shrugs dismissively. “There’s no rush for such a thing. I think what you’re really trying to ask is if the heir must be borne of my seed.”

Mammon’s cheeks redden slightly, and grits his teeth. “That’s what I’m askin’, yeah.”

“No, they don’t.” Diavolo shakes his head. “If Arianthi is the princess, and you are our partner, any child borne of our relationship will be a valid heir. I have no need to know who’s blood it is, as we would all be equals in the relationship. I would love the child regardless.”

Mammon and I lean into each other, overwhelmed and seeking each other’s warmth. His hand grips mine, thumbs brushing over my knuckles absentmindedly as he thinks.

Diavolo is mimicking the motion on my other hand, waiting for a response to his proposal. As insane as his idea sounds......it feels right.

I can’t be selfish. Diavolo is ok with it. I’m pretty sure I am too. But Mammon has to be ok too. I wouldn’t ever push him into something like this.

“Mammon?” I ask softly.

“Mmmm?” He rests his head on my shoulder in an unusually bold gesture.

“What do you think about all this? About what Dia is asking?”

“I never thought it would be an option.” He sounds dazed.

“Would you be ok with...you know?”

“Sharing?” He lets out a startled laugh. “It would take some gettin’ used to. But if it’s only him,” he gestures at Dia, “and everything is as equal as he says it gonna be then I think it might be alright.”

Mammon smirks a little. “I know a good lookin’ demon when I see one. Bein’ in his bed wouldn’t be a hassle, especially if you're there too. And I’m sure the castle has all sorts of treasure that could make up for him almost killin’ me.”

“You would get a very generous allowance.” Diavolo smirks back at him. “You would still be expected to carry out your duties as one of the seven ruling lords of the Devildom, as well as your R.A.D. studies.”

“I can do that easy,” Mammon answers, voice cocky.

Diavolo extends his free hand to Mammon. “So what do you say Mammon? Be with us?”

Mammon doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah,” he says with a smile, slipping his free hand into Diavolo’s. “I wanna be with both of ya.”

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myhockeyworld87 · 4 years

Text

Not So Dangerous Liaison - Sidney Crosby - Part 5

Word Count: 2,287

POV: Sidney’s

Warnings: Language, Small spaces (if you have a fear of that)

Notes: Here we go part 5. I really like where this story is going, and I hope you guys do too. As always feedback in appreciated.

Not So Dangerous Masterlist

It was funny how lack of sleep could make a person more irritable with each passing moment. The plane ride to DC was miserable, the weather was so bad, that it was like riding on a roller coaster, so sleep was something that didn't happen. You'd even abandoned playing video games for when you hit a patch of turbulence; you'd end up hitting the wrong button. By the time you finally made it to the hotel and got your key from (Y/N), you were ready to rip someone's head off.

"Sid," Phil yelled as you headed for the elevator.

"What!" you snapped back at him.

"Jesus, you don't have to take my head off." You took a deep breath, softening your mood before he continued. "I just wanted to see if you told (Y/N) that dinner was at seven?"

"Shit," you'd completely forgot about dinner. All you wanted to do was head to your room and order dinner in, hopefully eliminating any run-ins with (Y/N). Obviously, that wasn't going to happen now.

"I'll take that as a no."

"Yeah, I sort of forgot about it." The doors to the elevator opened then and Phil got inside.

"Well she's right there, I'll see you in the lobby at seven." The doors slid closed and so did any opportunity of not seeing the girl who seemed to be torturing your dreams.

You turned around, and standing not twenty feet in front of you was (Y/N), with Beau beside her. It was as if your worst nightmares were coming true. "Miss the elevator, Sid?" Beau chuckled.

"Something like that." God, if he wasn't injured, you consider wiping the smirk off his face. "I needed to talk to (Y/N)."

"Oh, well in that case; I'll talk to you both later." He made a move towards the elevators but stopped short. "Thanks again for everything you did last night (Y/NickN)."

"Part of the job there, Sunshine." Ugh, god now the two were calling each other by their nicknames. Beau ducked into an open elevator, and (Y/N) turn her attention towards you. "So, what do you need Sid? More pillows or do you need something for the game. I'd be more than happy to run and go get whatever you need."

Why did she have to be so helpful? It made her so much harder to stay away from her when she was being so nice. "No, no. I don't need anything. I just wanted to remind you that dinners at seven tonight. We're all meeting in the lobby at six forty-five to walk down to the restaurant."

"Yeah, Phil told me earlier." What the hell, why had he….You were gonna wring his neck. "But thanks for reminding me. I'll see you down here shortly." She stepped into a free elevator then. "Are you coming?" There was no reason you had to stay by the elevator bank, so you joined her in the small confines. "So, was your room ok in Ottawa, I wasn't sure if you…" The elevator stopped suddenly, jarring you both as everything went black for a moment until the emergency lighting came on. You reached out and steadied (Y/N) purely on instinct. "What the hell."

"I think the elevator's stuck." You stated, arm still around her waist.

"Well can you make it unstuck?" You looked over at (Y/N) and she looked white as a sheet. Her skin was pale and you noticed her breathing was shallow. Reaching out, you hit a couple buttons and nothing happened.

"Yeah, I don't think we're going anywhere, at least for a minute or two."

"Well, we should press the emergency call or something." She sounded on edge. It occurred to you then, that she was having a panic attack.

"(Y/N), look at me. It's ok." Her eyes darted around the small space, and you could tell she was having a hard time breathing. "(Y/N) it's ok." You repeated to her hoping to reassure her. You grabbed her by the waist more forceful then and forced her to look at you. "Take a deep breath with me. In….ok and out….In….and out."

She finally calmed a bit. "Thanks, I'm sorry; I just really hate small spaces." Your hands didn't move from her waist, for she felt good in your arms. "I blame my brothers they locked me in my mom's hope chest when I was little as a joke. It was on them when my mom found me sobbing and they got grounded for two weeks." She smiled then and you could feel her relax even more.

"I'm surprised you handle the plane so well."

"I don't. Beau's been really nice telling me jokes at least until I'm comfortable in the air." So that's why the two were always laughing. "Some of them are so horrible, but it's so nice of him to take my mind off of it." God, you'd been such an ass, thinking that Beau was making a move on her; well he still could be, but this sort of put a whole new spin on things.

An operator came over the loudspeaker then, from when you'd hit the emergency call button. "This is hotel maintenance, we're aware of the problem and are working on it. It's our understanding that a transformer blew in the area and they are giving us a time frame of about an hour before the power is back on, and then we'll have your out of there right away. Are you ok in there at the moment?"

You looked at (Y/N) who nodded her head, that she was ok. "Yes, we're fine." You answered for the both of you.

"Ok then hang tight. If anything changes just hit the emergency button again."

"Are you sure you're ok?" While she'd already said yes, you just wanted to double-check.

"Yeah, I'm a little better now. Thanks." She moved out of your arms then, and you felt the loss more than just physically. "Guess we're going to be here a while." She plopped down on the floor and patted the spot next to her. "Might as well get comfortable." Thankfully, you'd both traveled in comfortable Pens clothing, instead of business suits, so it was easier to sit down on the floor beside her. "I'm now wishing I would've gone back for seconds at breakfast."

"Well, you're in luck." You grabbed your suitcase and opened the front pocket. "I'm not sure if you've heard this or not, but there's this new member working on our team. She does the best care packages in our rooms, and I so happen to have a little something left from mine." You pulled out a candy bar you had left and were saving for later tonight. She smiled, a bright beaming one that was directed solely at you and no one else. "Care for half?"

"Oh, you're a godsend." You broke the bar in half and handed part over to her.

"So, I have to ask. How did you know my favorite candy bar, being that I never handed in the form and all? Though I promise I will get it to you as soon as we get back home."

She swallowed then covered her mouth, in this cute little gesture. "Well I have to confess, I called your mom and asked." A cute pink blush stained her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to introduce myself and well she was so incredibly sweet. We just got to talking and well one thing led to another and she gave me some insight. I hope you're not mad."

"Mad? No how could I be." You actually hadn't spoken to your mom in a couple days, but you were sure she was going to rave about (Y/N) the minute she picked up the phone. "She probably talked your ear off."

"We had a really nice conversation. I can't wait to meet her."

"Well, that will be probably soon. I'm sure they'll be in town for playoffs." Was it wrong to hope that the two would get along in person as well? You sure hoped not.

"This is sort of changing the subject, but I want to well…I guess clear the air about last night." Why was she bringing him up, when you were fantasizing about her meeting your mother and not just as someone who worked for the team.

Still, you found yourself saying, "You don't have to explain anything."

"Well I know it looked bad, but Chris asked if I would help Beau into his room after all the pain meds that they gave him. I had planned on leaving right away, but then he started whining." She laughed obviously thinking back. "At any rate, I fell asleep in the chair. I didn't want to wake him up, so I just crept out the door and well I ran into you." She stopped you before you could say anything. "I should've said something last night. I don't know why I didn't, but I didn't want you to think that I didn't take this job seriously, or that something was going on with Beau and I when there isn't or wasn't. Ok, now I feel stupid."

"(Y/N), I didn't think anything was going on." Even though you totally did, but it was nice to hear it from her own mouth. "I've heard Beau whine before." You chuckled then. "It's not pretty."

"I know right. I was afraid he'd wake the whole floor up." God, the sound of her laugh did unholy things to you.

Once her laughter died down, you decided to get something off your chest as well. "As long as we're confessing things, there's something I have to tell you." She cocked her head at you in question. "The first day in Ottawa, at the meeting, when you asked me if my room was ok." You rubbed the back of your neck as you were a bit embarrassed about this next part. "I hadn't actually noticed anything that you'd done." She didn't really react. "It wasn't anything about you. I just hadn't slept the night before, and the minute I got in the room; I crashed. After we talked, I went to the room and saw everything. It was really nice, what you did for all of us…well for me specifically."

"I'm glad you liked it. I'll admit, I thought I totally fucked up, especially with the book."

"God no. I love it; I'm halfway through it already." It really was a great read. She looked visibly relieved when you said that.

"I hope you like the one left you here. Well, if we ever get out here."

"Wait, did you do another one of those for this place?" That damn blush again, crept up to her cheeks, and you wondered if you kissed her, would she turn that shade as well.

"That's kind of what I'm supposed to do right? Make your jobs a bit easier. Which is why I don't feel bad that I made you share that candy bar." You laughed from deep down, something that didn't happen too often. (Y/N) was like this rare gem, that you only came across once in a lifetime and you were realizing more and more you didn't want to let this particular rock go.

"Well, I promise to share the other one, once this elevator starts moving again." You actually wanted to share more than that with her, which was a bit scary.

"As long as we don't have to split it while trapped in this elevator it's a deal."

"It hasn't been that bad, has it?" You asked her because honestly, you weren't sure if you ever wanted it to be unstuck.

"Honestly, it's been kind of fun." She smiled at you again, it wasn't that bright one from before. It was more secretive and you could be wrong, but a bit seductive. You found yourself leaning in towards her, as your hand glided over to her leg. Her lids started to drift closed as your mouth came closer to hers. It was if the whole world felt right in this one moment, and then the elevator got power and started back up again. The two of you flying apart and scrambling up from the floor. Neither of you said a word, though you could swear there was a look of disappointment in her face; that you were sure yours reflected as well.

It took about a minute before the doors opened, and there stood hotel maintenance to check on you both. "Are you guys ok?"

"Yeah, perfectly fine." (Y/N) answered as she stepped out; you following behind her.

"We're so sorry this happened. Is there anything we can do for either of you?"

"I think we're good, eh?" And (Y/N) nodded her agreement.

"Again, we apologize for the inconvenience."

"No problem." You told them, as they headed down the stairs back to their job. You stood there for a minute while they left, wondering what to say next to (Y/N), but she beat you to it.

"Thanks for keeping me calm in there. I should let you go rest and stuff…I'll see you in a little bit?"

This wasn't exactly how you saw this ending, but you could definitely use some time to regroup. "Yeah, I'll see you in the lobby in a couple hours." She headed down the hall in the opposite direction of where your room was; you watched her go, thinking that maybe waiting until playoffs were over to win (Y/N) was no longer an option. Flower was right, there was too much of a chance for someone else to capture her attention. The only thing left to do was figure out how to make a move tonight.

#Not So Dangerous Liaison Series #Sidney Crosby #sidney crosby imagine #Sidney Crosby Imagines #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction

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dissapointedelbow · 3 years

Text

Junior Year Changes. Ch 1

"Lord, abide in us and help us to continue abiding with you even after we have left this building. In Jesus’ name, we pray, Amen." The priest was saying his closing prayer. And after that, it was the cue for the choir to sing a hymn as people left and some would stay and worship more or even go to confession.

"Blest are they, the poor in spirit

Theirs is the kingdom of God

Blest are they, full of sorrow

They shall be consoled…" The choir sang and it echoed the church. I was in the choir singing. I have been a part of the choir for some time now and I for one think we sound amazing. After the song ended I went to the pew where my mom and dad usually sit but in their place was my boyfriend Liam, He had a flash t-shirt on and his big round glasses.

"I left my church super fast just to be here to pick you up." He said with a stupid grin on his face.

"Well thank you, kind sir," I said while laughing.

“I love you Mia Mathews, and that means I should do whatever I can for you.” He got up and hugged me. I love his hugs. "I will pick up Ryder and I will drop you girls off at the lake for a bit. I will then come and pick you up at four and we will spend the rest of the day at your place." He said confidently. He usually forgets plans so when he remembers them it makes me happy.

I get into his beat-up little maroon car, which at this point smells like fast food and body odor. It's not a very long car ride to get to Ryder's place so we just put on our worship station until we got there. We arrived outside Ryder's house and honked the horn.

Ryder came running out. She was very pretty. She was of average height and has a very very good sense of style. Her hair is dark blue and always has a side part and it is cut just above the shoulder. Today she was wearing black denim jeans, a blue crop top, with a black skull with a white rose where its ear would be, on the front, and her trademark black Crocs.

"Hey guys, miss me?" She asked as she climbed into the back seat.

"Always," I replied. Then I handed her the aux to put on our favorite playlist so we could jam on our way to the lake. It's about a twenty-five-minute drive to the lake and we stopped for Arby's on the way. We also sang every word to every song that came on. It was fun.

"Ok, we're here." Said Liam.

"Thanks, babe, now be back here at exactly six o’clock we will be waiting."

"I will, I love you see you then!"

"Bye, love you"

"Wow, y'all are gross," Ryder said teasingly as we walked away from the parking lot towards the trail.

We walk along the trail for only about 3 minutes then we arrive at the beautiful lake. Not many people come here and right now we are the only ones there. The lake is man-made but still beautiful. The trees are all different fall colors already and the sun is right above us and it reflects off the lake so beautifully.

"I love the lake this time of year." Said, Ryder

"Me too," I said as I put my stuff down at our picnic table. We both sat down and grabbed our sandwiches from Arby's.

"So, if you were to describe your summer in one word, what would it be?" Asked Ryder

"Perfect," I said, looking at the sun reflecting off the water. "What about you?"

"Rollercoaster"

"Why rollercoaster?"

"Because a lot of really good things happened but there has also been some bad so it was like a rollercoaster. Why did you pick perfect?"

"Because I have nothing to complain about, I have an amazing boyfriend, an amazing best friend, I'm starting my junior year with all honors classes, and I became k

head of the church choir."

"That makes sense," Ryder said. But when she said it I noticed a twinge of sadness or jealousy in her voice.

"I'm sorry your summer wasn't perfect. But the least I can do is make the last day of your summer a perfect one!" I say as I pull out my phone and start dialing. "Hey. Can you come to get us early?"

"Yeah. Is everything ok?" Liam's voice came through the phone.

"Yeah, we just need to do something spontaneous for a change."

"Okay, be there in a few minutes, bye love you."

"Bye love you." I said looking at the time, "It's two-thirty he should be here by two forty-five."

"Where are we going?" Ryder asked excitedly.

"You'll see," I said as I texted Liam, "We are taking Ryder to Dinopark." Dinopark is an amusement park close to where we live and it's really cheap and dinosaur-themed. Ryder loves dinosaurs but never got to go to Dinopark.

"I really want to know now though!" Ryder said giving, me pleading eyes.

"You'll see!" I said sternly while gathering our things. By the time we get back to the parking lot, we see Liam's car pulling up.

"Hey, babe thanks for the spontaneous ride," I said

"Ok, someone needs to tell me where we are going!" Ryder said impatiently.

"No one neeeeds to tell you where we're going. Besides surprises are fun." I said while smiling at Liam. I know she is going to love it.

�� After that Ryder plugs in her phone and starts playing her music and honestly the car ride was a lot of fun. It took us about forty-five minutes to get there. When we finally pulled up and Ryder saw where we were. She almost died of excitement. We then parked the car and got out. Ryder couldn't stand still.

We walked up to the entrance and Ryder looked like a little kid bouncing up and down. She was so excited. We all got wristbands for thirty dollars each, so we could ride all the rides. Ryder wanted to ride every, single, ride. There were twelve miscellaneous rides and three big roller coasters. Some rides were really boring but we rode them anyway. Like the pterodactyl ride, it was boring because it was meant for kids but Ryder wanted the full experience. She was a little nervous when we got in line for the Raptor Roller Ride, which was the smallest of the three coasters. She was so nervous, I thought she might burst. We got seated near the back and I sat in the middle between her and Liam and made sure she was ok. During the ride, she screamed very loud but in the end, she had fun and wanted to go again. After we rode every ride at least once, we got some food, and some cotton candy and cheese fries to bring home. We also played a few games like triceratops ring toss, beat the velociraptor, and dino balloon pop. I won a cute plastic dino from beat the raptor, Liam won an inflatable caveman bat on triceratops ring toss, and Ryder won a huge stuffed t-rex on dino balloon pop. After playing games we decided to head home.

“That was amazing! Thank you so much, guys!” Ryder said enthusiastically.

“I think you deserved an amazing day. Everyone deserves one perfect day.” I said.

“Yeah, plus we had fun too,” said Liam

We all loaded into the car and put on the local pop radio station and Liam drove us home. We were all kind of tired but it was only six o’clock so we stayed up and sang with the radio. We finally pulled into the driveway of my house. My house is modern but still homey. We have a bigger home even though it's only my parents and me. My dad is the CEO of a local business so we are moderately wealthy.

We grabbed our stuff from the amusement park we headed inside and got settled in the screening room.

“Hey guys, I have something I need to say before we pick the movie,” Ryder said nervously

“Yeah, are you ok?” I said, noticing the sweat forming on her forehead.

“Uh, yeah. I- uh. I’m- I’m. I’m gay! Uh yeah, I like girls.” she said. Her eyes were closed tight she was probably thinking the worst.

“That’s fine, as long as you don’t hit on me I’m taken.” She said winking at Liam.

“Ha, ha. You wish! I do have standards you know.” Ryder said in a mocking tone.

“Wow, Mia is smoking, thank you very much,” Liam said in a defensive tone.

“Ok guys let's just watch the movie,” I said.

I just want to say I do believe that homosexuality is a sin. I just didn't want to ruin her perfect day so I hid my beliefs. Also, she has been there for me for so long. Why risk our friendship just because I know she is going to hell? So we dropped it and watched “Clueless”. It was a fun night. Liam and Ryder left after the movie and then I cleaned up and went to bed.

#short story #writers on tumblr #writing #teen writing #why not post this #junior year changes

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feral-fangs · 5 years

Photo

Pairings: Hellboy x You

Word Count: 1,445

Warnings: Just a sweet lil fic that’s as light and fluffy as cotton candy.

A/N: Wrote this fic to show everlasting love and appreciation for the sweet @hellboytrash. The idea was theirs, I'm only hoping to do justice to the Hellboy fandom with this lil fic.

Summary: Hellboy surprises you with a night out to experience the traveling carnival that's come to town.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.: The Devil’s Carnival .:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:. "Just wear something comfortable, babe."

You chewed your bottom lip, brows pulling together in consternation at your lover's words rumbling to you from the living area. He'd gotten ready over an hour ago and his excitement about this new surprise was almost tangible. Had he pranked Manning again and just wanted to escape the compound for a while with you?

Sighing, you just threw on a pair of skinny jeans, the ones he always made deep animal sounds over, always happy to admire the plumpness of your behind when slid into the skintight denim.

He knew surprises made you so anxious. But he was so happy over this one that you just found yourself quietly basking in his joy, eager to go along with whatever harebrained idea he'd cooked up now. A small smile ghosted along your face, eyes filming over as you reveled in the feeling of his love washing over you. He was just such a big dope. How could you not love him?

The last two months had been a whirlwind of constant struggles between the various supernatural races. This little night out was a surprise, especially considering they'd only gotten home just two short days ago. Still, you'd go along with it if only to keep him smiling. You didn't know anyone in this topsy turvy world who deserved to smile more than your big Red.

Finally deciding on a plain black tee, you slipped it on, the neckline dipping low into a sort of arch to highlight your ample chest. Smirking and knowing just how wild it would drive the big guy nuts and a small sort of punishment for springing this surprise outta nowhere. Two birds, meet one stone.

It only took the work of ten more minutes and you were finally ready to head out, hair up in space buns, black suede over the knee boots on and even blacker eyeliner on, sharp enough to cut anyone looking twice at your man. One zip up hoodie and you two were out the door and damn near skipping through the many levels of the BPRD compound, deftly avoiding Manning's ever condemning gaze and giggling the whole way.

You both breathed in deep of the cool October air, the sun just now setting and creating a blaze of autumnal colors across the sky, barely dotted with cotton candy clouds and the hint of stars winking back at you.

"Ok, big guy, you gonna tell me where we're going now?"

You only got a mischievous smirk in return before he carefully gripped your hand, interlacing your fingers and bringing them up to his lips in a firm kiss, his big right hand of doom coming up to ensure the hood of his camo green hoodie was covering the stark demonic features you loved so well.

Without warning, he slung you across his back, tail sneakily coming up to securely wrap itself around your waist as you gripped around his shoulders and neck, a startled squeak escaping you. And then you were off at a brisk pace, up and across rooftops and leaving a streak of your presence behind in the shadows.

Twenty short minutes later you both landed from a thirty foot drop, HB gently setting you free from being molded to his wide back. Your palms gripped your knees as you bent over, trying to catch your breath as if you'd been the one sprinting through the night to your unnamed destination. But when you stood up and caught sight of the myriad lights and people, and your ears caught the telltale sounds of hawkers and screams of delight. You could only stare up in wonder at your boyfriend, delight suffusing your features and earning an equally delighted grin in return. An honest to God, old school carnival, the likes of which hadn't graced this side of Jersey in decades.

"Happy belated anniversary, baby."

With a jolt of electricity to your body, you came to the startling realization that indeed... your anniversary had slipped by during this last mission without a word to each other about it. It had slipped your mind like a wisp of smoke!

About to apologize for your terrible lapse in memory, Hellboy pressed a firm yet gentle finger to your lips and shook his head, sending tendrils of his ink dark hair in motion.

Properly choked up now, you leaned up on your tip toes, arms wrapping as far around his neck as they could reach.

"I love you. I love you... so much."

You could feel the heat radiate from his already crimson face and a rumbling purr echo in his chest, vibrating into yours as you sweetly kissed his handsome face.

And then the two of you were through the gates of the traveling carnival, all day ride bands secure around your wrists as you both took in the sights, sounds and oh god, the smells of the many food vendors.

Lights on strings blazed above you, illuminating the love for each other and the grounds just enough to show you the various places to visit next.

You, whose eyes were long since trained to catch the subtle shimmer of fey-kind, could see the various magical folk flitting to and fro, enjoying the carnival as much as anyone else and feasting on the remains of the fattening food many people visited these kinds of fairs for.

Suddenly, you could see that many of the workers were also supernaturals, giving you sly winks. Suddenly the name of the traveling carnival made an ironic kind of sense. The Devil's Carnival.

Your little laugh wasn't heard by anyone except the big guy, who only looked down at you with an answering grin, tugging you along into the cool October evening, the rush of fallen leaves lost to the environment around you.

The next couple hours were filled with carnival food aplenty. Hardly anything of substance was spoken between you, just many lighthearted jokes and lots of side-splitting laughter.

With a hot blush you remembered the funnel cake he helped feed to you and the searing kiss he placed on you when he insisted you had powdered sugar stuck to your top lip.

His big arms caging you as you sat atop a colorfully painted horse on the merry-go-round, also insisting the dangers of going without his protective hold and the statistics of yearly injuries on the ride.

And the roller coaster, the Screaming Eagle! With a little laugh, you remembered pulling his much larger stone arm down in time to avoid hitting the underside of the rest of the coaster.

You couldn't remember the last time you'd both had so much fun. Now here you were, walking around with a giant blue lobster, still giggling like an idiot over the connotation it represented for the both of you. It had taken your boyfriend four tries because he kept crushing the balls to knock the bottle pyramid down, but he'd been determined to win you the thing.

His much larger fingers engulfed your free ones, swinging your hands between you and bringing you in for a warm forehead kiss. Was it possible to feel so much bliss?

"C'mon, let's do the ferris wheel before we head home."

You smiled brightly up at him and after the two of you were settled in the cart, the big blue lobster on the seat across from you, it slowly ascended to its highest peak in the night sky.

Snuggled firmly against his side, your breath catching in your chest as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your shoulder and then to the side of your head. The magic of the evening clouded everything and the view of the city sprawled around, hiding mundane and magicals living side by side without the humans any the wiser thanks to the hard won efforts of the BPRD.

As you surveyed the splendor of a dark city lit by the many white and colorful lights throughout it, Hellboy played with your fingers. Glancing down in curiosity, tears instantly sprang to your eyes as you caught sight of the dainty diamonds glistening there on your left ring finger.

Your head sprung back, gasping from both the emotions and surprise of it. You'd never seen him look so serious before.

"Can I make you mine forever?"

The utter love and devotion in his rough voice cleared every obstacle in your mind and as the wheel began making its descent towards the ground, you only answered him with the sweetest kiss and a murmured affirmation.

To answer your earlier question...

Yes, yes... it absolutely was possible to feel this amount of love.

And more. Forevermore.

#hellboy x reader #hellboy x you #hellboy fic #fanfiction #self insert fic #hellboy imagine #proposal fic fluffy fic #drabble #oneshot #demiwrites

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transbionic-shieldmaiden · 4 years

Text

a really long post about my stupid HRT adventure

cw medical stuff, tumors.

context: there was a post about getting on HRT that I read but I decided this was too personal to go in a reblog. donut rebagel, but feel free to reply.

ohhhh man, so like obviously i’m glad other people have had a better time than I when it comes to getting on hrt but i really gotta rant about the issues i had, because I had a hell of a time getting it DESPITE NOT ACTUALLY RUNNING INTO GATEKEEPING. so, story time:

this got long, so have a read more.

So I have executive dysfunction, which I cannot recommend. For me at least it comes in a package deal with a bunch of plasticbrains things I’m very much a fan of (stims! hyperfocus! being trans!), but I’d still very much like to not deal with it. And I also have social anxiety. Which overall is not a great combination of issues for dealing with the medical system.

Case in point: figuring out I’m trans was the catalyst for getting me to actually seek therapy (at MIT medical, which -- sidenote -- is free for students and I can’t recommend them highly enough), but what this actually meant was I took basically an entire semester to make the phone call to get an appointment, which was scheduled for a month after the call*. So far so great.

Anyway, as my therapy continued I kept coming in and complaining about dysphoria and being like “man i wish i could start hrt! but i won’t, because that involves talking to strangers :(” and eventually my therapist was like “so like. regular medical, which can prescribe hrt, is literally one floor below us. i can walk you down and schedule an appointment right now.”

and i was like “uhhhh wait i didn’t actually want my problem solved that means i have to talk to strangers!!!” but like obviously this was the social anxiety talking because i did actually want hrt. so my therapist walked me down to medical and i scheduled an appointment with the one Trans Doctor (tee-em) at MIT medical (like seriously this woman is as far as I can tell the PCP for like half of MIT’s trans population, we stan).

so the way this worked out is I needed three appointments: one intake appointment which was largely informational, one appointment with a physical checkup and a blood draw, and finally an appointment once the blood draw results came in. So I went in to the firs appointment, scheduled the second once it was done, and then MIT medical stole my blood.

And when that appointment was done I...didn’t schedule the third.

Cue several months passing due to executive dysfunction and social anxiety.

So I finally get myself together enough to schedule the last appointment, and I go in...and it turns out I have abnormally low testosterone. And I was all ready to be like “Oh no...isn’t that a shame...how terrible...” but the problem is, low testosterone in conjunction with my other blood metrics...was possibly a sign of a brain tumor.

That sounds worse than it actually is -- the brain tumor in question would’ve been benign, so it wouldn’t have been cancer. It does occasionally lead to blindness however, and low testosterone from said tumor would obviously not be very visible once I was taking spironolactone. So we needed to make sure I didn’t have a tumor before we could proceed with HRT. I was sent to take another blood test, optimized for the time of day when testosterone levels peak, and was therefore in the strange situation of being a trans woman hoping for high testosterone levels on a blood test.

Alas, it seems I was truly too trans for my own good, for it turns out the second test was even lower than the first.

This meant I had to go in for another blood test, and I had to get an MRI. And of course remember that every appointment I make here means 3-5 weeks depending on scheduling, all while I’m engaging in the standard MIT pastime of drowning in psets. Which is not fun when you’re depressed from dysphoria, let me tell you.

The MRI rolls around and it’s in this area of the Boston metro area Where The T Dares Not Go. There’s a bus stop near the clinic, but I have only been on an MBTA bus once and I really didn’t want to miss my appointment. So I hop in a lyft and soon it’s time for me to go in the Big Science Tube.

So here’s the thing about the Big Science Tube. It’s loud, it’s cramped, and in my case at least you get pumped with Contrast Juice which like goes in your brain or something? idk i’m not an MRI tech. I actually found it to be a not entirely unpleasant experience, because it sort of feels like you’re in a cryosleep chamber or something and I’m a huge nerd. But it’s also...massively disorienting. You can’t move, your vision is limited to the inside surface of a white cylinder, the whole thing is making Noise and vibrating, there’s the Contrast Juice sloshing in your brain...Oh, and at least in my case they let me listen to satellite radio while i was vibing in the science tube. Thing is, I don’t generally like radio music, since I tend to like individual songs more than genres, so I picked the jazz station. I figured this would ensure fairly enjoyable music the whole time, instead of a weird roller-coaster of songs I like, songs I hate, and songs I haven’t heard (the vast majority).

While I stand by this analysis in general, I do not recommend jazz as the soundtrack to the big science tube.

All this is to say that by the time I got out, I was extremely out of it and loopy. Oh, I also forgot to mention: I did not sleep well the night before. My sleep schedule is a mess at the best of times, and I was very nervous. So I am...completely off the shits by this point, not to mention extremely hungry and thirsty. They tell you to drink a lot to flush the Contrast Juice from your system, so that works out OK. In theory.

I get out, stand by the bus station for a bit, and conclude the bus isn’t coming. I walk across the street to a McDonalds, figuring I could really use some food and liquid. Which was correct.

...Except the bus came and went while I was in there, and looking at the schedule on my phone revealed I’d have to wait another half an hour for another.

This is where I make a terrible mistake. I look at my map, see that Harvard...isn’t too far from where I am, and Harvard has a T station! Perfect! So I, completely loopy from the MRI, still dehydrated because I haven’t gotten nearly enough liquids from McDonalds, decide to WALK TO HARVARD. It was a 30 minute walk, through unfamiliar territory, and I cannot stress this enough: I. Was. Off. The. Shits.

So I walk to Harvard using my phone’s GPS and whatever brain cells were not full of Contrast Juice, somehow managing to navigate through this random neighborhood and over the bridge without getting too lost or getting hit by a car. As I reach Harvard, I realize that this is a bad place for me to be in my current mental state: it’s bustling, full of standard college craziness; i think there was a guy in a chocolate bar costume which I could not process at the time. Oh, and I’ve never been to the Harvard T station so in my condition I struggle to find it. And when I do get there...well, here’s the thing about the Harvard T station: It’s huge. There’s several floors of underground bus terminals and an absolute warren of tunnels. Perfectly navigable, if you’re sober or know the area.

I am of course none of these things.

Still, somehow I find my way to the train, but that wasn’t even the end of my problems! Because, you see, my dorm is twenty minutes from the nearest T stop! So even once I get back to MIT I still have lots of walking to do. I don’t remember how I got back at that point; I think it involved a lot of drinking fountains.

Anyway, I guess this was supposed to be about me getting HRT? So it takes a while for the MRI results to get back, but it turns out I don’t have a tumor. However, in the meantime my parents have been pushing for me to freeze some sperm cells, so that I can have kids someday. Here’s the thing: I do not want kids. I do not expect to ever want kids. And if that changes, I’d be quite happy to adopt kids. But my parents are offering to pay for it, and the risk-averse part of my brain is like “oh...maybe i should do it...just in case???”

It takes me a month to actually call a fertility clinic. In the meantime, I am struggling in my classes; dysphoria is not conducive to educational success. It was not a good time to be me, let’s just put it that way. Finally, I make the call, and uhhhh it turns out sperm freezing is really expensive? And you have to go in for an intake appointment...then do some tests...and then...

So at this point I say, fuck it! And I get on HRT the next week. In total it took me like...a year to get on HRT, depending on how you count it? And all this without anyone actually gatekeeping me on being an Invalid Trans or whatever. But it’s all good, because now I’m far happier and more together than I ever thought I can be. The moral of this story is: HRT good, executive dysfunction bad, and don’t wander through Harvard while completely off the shits from MRI aftereffects.

*this is the one issue with MIT medical; their services are great but also in high demand. the system is a bit better once you actually get into it though.

#genderfeels #trainsbionic-shieldmaiden #plasticbrains #personal #donut rebagel #medical cw #tumors cw #the word of the shieldmaiden

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scornedlove · 4 years

Text

Chapter Twenty-Five

ROBYN

“Don't even go inside” I muttered to myself as I approached Dre’s front door. The entire ride over, I prayed he would still be at work so I wouldn’t have to get a lecture from him about last night. Of course, with my luck, that wasn’t the case. His car was parked out front, so I knew there was no avoiding the conversation I’d been dreading.

"Oh well" I sighed, preparing for the judgement I was about to face, and knocked on the door.

“Wow” Dre smirked, with his eyes damn near popping out of his head when he opened the front door. He was fresh out the shower wearing nothing but a robe, which was partially open. Damn I have the worst timing.

“Sorry, I wouldn’t ha-”

“That cut is fire. Reminds me of cat woman.” he interrupted in awe, giving me a once over.

“Yeah, I needed something different.” I shrugged, running my hand through my pixie cut.

“It’s definitely different. That shirt looks good on you too” he added, disappearing down the hall, leaving me no choice but to come in. I looked around his living room for my stuff while trying so hard to remember anything from last night, but my mind was still coming up empty.

“I couldn’t find my clothes or phone anywhere this morning” I explained when he reappeared in a t-shirt and sweat pants. I didn’t mean to glance him over, but I did, and the first thing I noticed was he didn’t have any underwear. I felt my skin flush and immediately drifted towards the door.

“That might be because you didn’t wear any”

“So, you telling me I came over here ass naked?” I shrieked in disbelief.

“Kinda” he chuckled shaking his head. “You had that trench coat on, so you were at least covered up”

“Ugh. I’m so sorry Dre. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, but I was going through some shit. Don't even ask.” I sighed, focusing my attention on an old picture of him and his mom. I'd seen it hundreds of times, but I couldn’t look him in his face right now. I felt guilty for popping up on him after being MIA for so long, even though that wasn't my intention.

“We don’t have to talk about it, but I am worried about you. How are you feeling?” he asked, motioning for me to sit.

“OK. Please tell me you have some fucking Tylenol” I muttered, taking a seat on his sofa. He retrieved the pills from his bathroom and a bottled water from the fridge, then stood in front of me, refusing to hand them over until we locked eyes.

“How are you feeling?” he repeated, this time more sincere than before.

“Like shit” I retorted, popping the pills and swishing some water around before swallowing them. After venting to Ursie and my favorite soup from Panera, my headache was finally gone, but my body was still sore as fuck.

“I bet. Last night was…crazy. I’ve never seen you like that before” he snickered, attempting to lighten the mood.

“People keep telling me that.” I shook my head, as my face began to heat up from embarrassment. “Did I at least have my phone with me?”

“Yeah, someone was blowing you up, so you threw it.” he explained, grabbing a Ziploc bag from his kitchen and bringing it back to me. ”The screen shattered, but it should be fixable.”

“Thanks, and thanks for not judging me. You know I wasn’t in my right mind last night; I just hope you’re the only person I fucked.”

“Woah, slow down. You know I’m not that type of guy”

“When I woke up naked, I assumed… so we didn’t…have sex?” I stammered, completely confused.

“No. You texted me saying you were on your way. Half an hour later, you were at my door in that.” He nodded towards the coat that laid across the chaise.

“Well thanks for not taking advantage of my stupidity” I sighed, biting my bottom lip to force back a wave of emotions that threatened to escape. Why did he have to be so damn respectful? He was really one of the good guys, which made me feel worse for pushing him out of my life to begin with.

“You good?” he asked, taking a seat next to me. I was trying so hard to hold everything in, that the tension in my face must’ve gave away my true feelings. My voice caught in my throat, so I nodded my head as I sniffed back tears.

“Really Anna? You can’t keep it all inside. Bottling it up won’t do any good.” he urged, squeezing my shoulder. That simple touch was enough to encourage the waterfall to proceed. Tears poured from my eyes, but I refused to release the rest. I didn’t plan on letting him see me like this. Especially when it all stemmed from Chris.

“Let it out. You’re gonna pass out if you don’t release that shit.”

“I feel….out of control” I admitted, grasping his thigh as I struggled to breathe. Although I was already sitting, I felt like I was falling.

“Put your head between your legs” he ordered, before darting out of the room. Seconds later he was back with two more pills. I wasn’t even sure what it was, but he was the doctor and I trusted him, so I tossed them back with another sip of water. It took a few minutes, but the trembling stopped and the tears eventually followed.

I couldn’t believe I broke down in front of Dre like that. If last night didn’t ruin his perception of me, I’m sure today did. At this point, it didn’t even matter. My mind was racing with all the ways I could get Chris back for hurting me the way he did; from sleeping with Quincy to telling Tae everything that happened between us. If she knew everything he put me through, she’d run in the opposite direction. Either way, I knew had to do something. I didn’t go through hell for him to ride off into the sunset with some random chick. It’s not right and there’s no way I’m letting him get away with it.

AUNDRE

“Do you have time to take me home? If not, it’s cool. John is just a phone call away.” Anna asked, after clearing her throat. We had been sitting in silence for the past ten minutes because neither of us knew what to say after the meltdown she’d just had.

“I can take you”

“You sure? I’m not trying to be a bother”

“You know I got you. You won’t ever be a bother to me.” I reassured her as I helped her gather her things and led the way to my car.

The entire ride she quizzed me about work and family. It was obvious she was trying to keep me talking about my life so she wouldn’t have to comment on hers, but I went along with it. If she didn’t want to talk, I wasn’t interested in probing.

“I hope you can forgive me for intruding like I did last night. You could’ve had a woman over for all I know.” She stated jumping into apology mode the moment we got to her block. To be honest, I was more worried about her than offended. I was sick of the victim role she kept feeding into and wanted her to make better decisions. How do I tell her that without pissing her off though?

“You know me better than that. I don’t have random women in and out of my place.”

“I know, but you get what I’m saying.” she sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Honestly, this shit scares me. It’s obvious you’re not okay and that doesn’t sit well with me.” I stated, choosing my words carefully. I glanced in her direction, waiting for a response, but she just stared out the window.

“Why do you even care?” she asked, finally facing me. I couldn’t believe the sadness that was seeping through her beautiful green eyes.

“Are you kidding me? You were the one who kept me sane when Teyana was putting me through the same roller-coaster ride you’re going through with Chris. I never told you this, but you saved me from committing suicide.”

“What? You tried to kill yourself over Teyana?”

“Do you remember that time, sophomore year, when you and Chris were supposed to go see some movie, but ya’ll got into a big argument?” I quizzed.

After a moment of thought, she nodded adamantly. “I found a message in his phone from another girl and ended up making him stop the car so I could walk home that night”

“Well, if you hadn’t come back when you did, I would’ve gone through with swallowing a bottle of Tylenol. You know Teyana was my first serious relationship. I really thought I was gonna marry that girl, then I’d found out about her cheating on me. At that time, I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else and hated the thought of her being with anyone else so much, that I would’ve rather died. I’d just finished writing a letter to my mom when you stormed through the front door in tears. It was the first time I saw you cry. Instantly, I felt the need to protect you and I realized I couldn’t do that if I were dead.”

“Wow. That’s crazy Dre. I’m glad you didn’t go through with it. You were my best friend, my only friend at the time, that would’ve crushed my soul.”

“I’m only telling you this because it was a rough time for me, yet I hid it and wouldn’t let anyone in. I want to be here for you, but I don’t know how. Tell me what you need.”

“What were those pills you gave me?” She asked, fumbling with her fingers. “They really helped.”

“Xanax. I only had the 1mgs. I know you usually take the halves, but I’ve never seen you tremble so hard. You need to ask your doctor to increase yours.”

“Honestly, I haven’t seen my doctor in a while. I got tired of doctors, hospitals, and anything remotely related. Besides, I was doing good, so I stopped going.”

“Well there’s your mistake. You’ve been through a lot and as much as you want to be over it, you aren’t. Promise me you’ll make an appointment sooner than later.”

“I…uh. Can you just give me some more?” she pleaded, poking out her bottom lip. I hated when she did that. "I just need a few on hand for situations like earlier, which doesn't happen often. I get why you're worried but don't be. I would never harm myself.

“I don’t want you making it a habit, but I can give you a few. I have some samples at the office. Just stop by whenever you can and I’ll help you out.”

“Thank you so much, I don’t know what I’d do without you. I really owe you one.”

“I can get in trouble for this, so I’m not doing it forever. You need to stop being a pain and get in to see your doctor.. That’s all I’m asking.” I added, and she reluctantly agreed.

I watched her until she entered her front door and debated on staying awhile. I wanted to make sure she was good, although I knew I’d done all I could. I was about to pull off when a black Porsche pulled up and parked right behind me.

“This motherfucker” I muttered when the driver and I made eye contact. The music was blasting and the convertible top was down, so there was no mistaking who was inside.

He didn't need to be here. I was sick of this cycle draining her and I wasn't going to sit by and watch anymore. I took a deep breath, pulled my keys from the ignition, and quickly hopped out of my car. The closer I got to his car, the better I could see that smug look on his face, the more I wanted to punch him. I was sick of him and he was gonna feel my wrath today.

ROBYN

“What a night" I groaned, kicking my pumps off the moment I walked in my front door. I've never drank so much that I couldn't remember the night before, but at the same time, I was glad I did. Too bad it didn’t make me forget the past three years of my life.

"Mama's home" I sang, showing Ollie and Pepe some love when they came running. I realized they were hungry and instantly felt guilty for disappearing on them last night. I quickly filled their bowls, wondering why Rayven hadn’t fed them for me. We haven’t been the closest since she’s been back, but she still looks out for my babies. She loves them just as much as I do.

I knocked on her bedroom door and after a minute with no response, I let myself in. I was shocked to find a hole in my wall, broken glass on the floor, ripped, bloody clothing on the ground, and Rayven nowhere to be found. I called her and after two rings, was sent to voicemail. My next instinct was to call the police, but I tried her one more time instead.

“What the fuck do you want?!” she screamed in my ear, after the first ring.

“Scuse me?”

“You heard me. I left your house key on the kitchen counter and didn’t take anything that belongs to you. So, what the fuck do you want?”

“What the fuck happened to my room?”

“Are you kidding me?! You did that shit! I apologized for my fuck up a long time ago, and if you knew you didn’t truly forgive me, you could’ve said something then. After what you did last night, don’t call or text me. Matter of fact, don’t even consider me family.” she snapped, before hanging up in my face. I had no idea what she was talking about and was about to call her back, but the dogs barking uncontrollably stole my attention.

“Hush!” I ordered, when I found them on the couch barking out the window. After they calmed down, I realized what they were losing their shit over and my heart dropped. Chris and Dre were in front of my house yelling at each other, and by the looks on their faces, it was escalating fast.

“All you gotta do is get back in your car and keep it pushing. This ain’t got shit to do with you” Chris exclaimed with clenched fists, getting in Dre’s face.

“If it involves Ana, it involves me” Dre countered, standing his ground.

“What’s going on?!” I yelled, running towards them as quick as my bare feet would allow.

“Nothing, Chris was just leaving” Dre announced, throwing his arm out to keep me back.

“I’m not going anywhere”

“Chris, what are you doing here?” I intervened, getting between the two of them.

“We need to talk” He stated, attempting to grab my hand.

“I have nothing to say to you, leave.” I countered, dodging his reach and crossing my arms.

“Don’t shut me out like this. Can we please ta-”

“You deaf man? She said leave!” Dre snapped, cutting Chris off. I’ve never seen him this mad, and couldn’t believe he was challenging Chris this way. I expected Chris to lose his shit, but he leaned against his car unbothered.

“Dre you can leave too! Ya’ll aren’t about to do this in front of my house”

“I’m not going anywhere until this piece of shit is gone” he exclaimed, pointing at Chris as he pulled out a pack of Newport's and lit one. I could tell he was trying to piss Dre off, and it was pissing me off too.

“Please don’t do this. I'm not some damsel in distress. I’m a big girl, I can handle myself” I begged, rubbing my forehead. I was already stressed out; I didn’t want to deal with anything else right now. I was liable to snap and I prayed he sensed it in my tone.

“I’ll let you handle it...this time” He sneered, staring Chris down the entire walk to his car. When he pulled off, I exhaled feeling partially relieved.

“I hope you ain’t fucking that punk” Chris spat, pissing me off even more.

“It’s none of your concern who I’m fucking!” I yelled, snatching his cigarette from his mouth. I threw it on the ground and stomped on it to show him I wasn’t playing. “You have some nerve showing up here, after the decision you made yesterday.”

“I didn’t decide on anything”

“Not being able to decide is equivalent to choosing her. If you loved me, there would be no question to it.”

“That’s not right and you know it”

“Not right?!” I exclaimed, shaking my head.

“Robyn, you’re asking me to break this woman’s heart, when all she’s ever done was be good to me”

“WHAT ABOUT MY HEART?! ALL I EVER DID WAS BE GOOD TO YOU!”

“I know and I’m sorry. That’s why I’m trying to fix this, but I need to do it the right way.” he explained, attempting to close the distance between us.

“What part of ‘all or nothing’ don't you understand?" I quizzed, losing my patience. I tried to push him away, but he grabbed my hand as tight as he could.

“Rob, don’t do this to me please. I need us to be okay.” he begged, as I twisted out of his tight grip.

“There is no us! I never want to see you again! Now get the fuck off my property, and if you come back, I’m calling the police!” I stated, leaving him on the street. He called my name over and over and for the first time since I’ve known him, it didn’t affect me one bit. That’s how I knew it was official, I was done with him.

#robyn rihanna fenty #chris brown #ff #fanfic #fanfiction #tarnished

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underroleau · 4 years

Text

underrole chapter 2-7

- OOOOHHHH!! LIGGGHHT!! - Wave shouted, entering with no reason and crashing into someone. Scar hearing a thud rushed inside finding him under a stack of books, and a boy on the ground under him, shook.

- Awesome, so much for protection. Wave!! - Scar started, helping with the books and tossing them away – Why do you always run around with pointlessly! Don’t you see you’re getting on my nerves? -

- I found a treasure! It’s all purple!! - Wave explained, pointing the boy still dazed from the hit. He was around twenty years old, had glasses, purple hair /purple, what a weird color/, and a nice wool jacket. Wave reached for the glasses the boy was searching for with his hand, not so far from them, - See, treasure! - he repeated, giving back the object to the rightful owner.

Scar was a little curious, she didn’t go in that area often, always staying in Snowdin since she loved the cold.

- I see.. but maybe you should get off him… -

- My name is Ryo, it’s nice to meet you! - said the purple kid, putting his glasses back on. The sound of a stick hitting the floor started to be heard in the distance, and steps were getting closer as an old turtle dressed as an explorer walked forward on two legs.

- I see you found company, Ryo – Gerson said, welcoming - Hello Scar -

- Do you know me..? - she questioned

- No, - the old turtle said, touching the beard under his chin, - But I know everyone under here except the kid who is sitting on top of my young assistant. -

- And could he move, please? - Ryo asked

- Nooo – Wave said

- Why? - Ryo asked, perplex

- Why… for no reason. - Wave got up.

- But… what? Oh, well, thank you – Ryo said, starting to gather the books scattered all around.

- Everything ok, kid? - Gerson asked

-Sure – Ryo answered, and the turtle laughed

- Not you, our radiant friend -

- Radiant? - muttered Ryo, confused

- Give time to time – he chuckled – What about our guard? -

- aAAAAAAAH! I was degraded to babysitter, and I didn’t hear about this weird and tall human. - replied Scar, flapping her wings.

- T-Thanks? - Ryo felt slightly attacked

- You know how it is, some monsters want to get out as fast as possible and some don’t, but it’s not like someone wants to harm him. Also, he doesn’t go out a lot. - explained Gerson calmly

- I’m sorry I’m not ice proof. - frowned Ryo

- Don’t worry, it’s like that for everyone – Wave said, placing a hands on Ryo’s shoulder

- You’re the one talking, with only those clothes on.. but who are you? -

- Wave. -

- No, I mean, where did you come from… -

- Good question. - added Scar.

- Well. If I have to say a place, I come from the infinite space. -

- You… you know what, nevermind – chuckled nervously Ryo, realizing somehow that it was better to drop the argument for his own sanity.

Gerson laughed – You’ll never be able to get him to talk like that, you can’t just ask to someone so young -

- But he’s tall like me… - Ryo answered, perplex

- I’m spatial – argued Wave

An alarm came on, interrupting the conversation.

- The exploration team is back, I have to go and see – Scar said, ruffling her feathers and moving towards the door.

- Let’s go! - added on Wave

Gerson slowly moved towards a shelf, - No need to be hasty little guard, if something happened it’s already late, and if it didn’t happen, you’re ahead of time. -

The old turtle got a glowing stick, and tied it around Wave’s wrist.

- There, now you won’t loose your friend out there. -

Scar bowed to thank him, and pulled Wave along in a rush.

- ...ice proof? - Gerson glanced over to Ryo once they were alone.

- Shut up… - he mumbled back.

(…)

- Let’s go, we have to reach Snowdin fast!! - Scar panted, running and dragging Wave along – Run! -

That was a mistake. Wave like a car took off, heaving Scar behind, and in less than a minute they ran across the entire cave getting to Snowdin. He stopped suddenly, launching Scar in the snow.

- I’m… hating him so much… - she stammered

- They don’t look so happy. - she heard him say.

- ...they? -

The exploration team was walking nearby, the snow covering the visual, but the feeling of sadness was tangible, their armor full of scratches but it didn’t seem that someone was hurt badly. They were tired and hungry.

- Nothing? - Scar asked them, once she got up

One of the dogs in armor shook it’s head.

- Damn. -

Behind them a huge shadow came closer, Asgore, the one reduced worse. He placed a big hand on Scar’s shoulder.

- We weren’t able to reach the ruins, we don’t have time… we should ask for back up. -

- Should I come? - Scar asked, staring intently

- Even if this doesn’t put me at ease, having someone who doesn’t soffer from darkness and cold could be a big help. -

Scar sparked up in happiness, but Wave seemed perturbed.

- What’s wrong? - she asked, looking back at him.

- Mhh… I don’t like it. -

- I didn’t introduce myself.. - started Asgore – what’s bothering you? -

- The big dog is super dark. - Wave said, pointing to the tallest dog in armor, a spear for weapon and cute puppy eyes.

- He’s tall, isn’t he? Don’t worry, he is harmless, but I don’t think he is that dark. -

- Stop bothering him, Wave. - Scar said, annoyed.

- Yes, but they’re going without that doggo. -

- But there’s no… - the time of a breath, then Asgore yelled.

- SHADOW!!! -

Suddenly, the dog Wave pointed unsheathed the spear, using it as a bat to hit Asgore, but he bend down avoiding it, while Wave got the hit right in the face and went flying in a nearby ravine. Being her first real fight, Scar didn’t have the reflexes to catch him, so she just had to watch him fall horrified, attacking the dog next as a reaction, using her frozen feathers as blades. The shadow regenerated the armor at every hit, so the feathers just clashed against it as everyone else attacked. The dog responded, and she dodged thanks to her small stature. The fight wasn’t meant to last, since the soldiers were already weakened. Scar was dealing damage but the doggo was huge, and she was small, too small to do anything serious. Hit after hit the battle continued, the tiredness was having the upper hand until a small light hit the dog, making him fly several meters away. The group turned around to see where it came from. Wave climbed the ravine like nothing with a flower on his shoulder.

- Like the cold wasn’t enough! - it spoke – Also the roller coaster! I hate this place!!! - it yelled, releasing white bullets in the air and shooting them, and one pierced the doggo.

Wave just stood there, pensive for a while, before snapping his fingers, and the bullets became rainbow colored.

- Ahah! Here’s our friendly combo! -

- ...WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO DO THAT! -

- Here it comes! -

- ARGH! -

Flowey shot more bullets, the speed and effect totally different. A storm of colors was shot against the dog, who flew at a remarkable distance.

- Why do you… keep screwing up… everything!! Now there’s no damage!! - shouted the flower, hysterical.

- But I’m sorry for the dog… - responded Wave

- It almost killed us! -

- I’m gonna heal him. -

- NO, YOU’RE NOT. - Scar intervened.

- Finally, someone sane. - added Flowey

But Wave already threw a green blast. - What? -

However, the cure had a weird effect, and the dog vanished.

- ...Oh no… he went away… - Wave was saddened

- AHAH! You’re useful! -

The others looked at him, and asked if they saw the original, the real dog was made of blood and magic. Wave answered that he pat him back at the arc with red lights. The situation was pretty weird.

- Dammit, we didn’t get at the ruins and we also brought a shadow with us… we’re really running out of time. We have to get that back up. - pondered Asgore, serious in the face. again thanks to @nephdetermined i don’t know how i could keep this project without her :D...she is amazing and someday she will hit me with a bat if i don’t stop kill the eng language

#underrole #undertale parody #50%canon #from now on is madness

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rhubarbplants · 5 years

Text

Renegades AU where the Anarchists won the battle for Gatlon.

What did you get the girl who had everything, for her birthday? Adrian asked himself. She was her uncles second in command and could have literally anything she asked for. She wasn’t spoiled of course, and she had been through so much, she deserved so much. To top it all off she had given him practically everything he had, his apartment, his asylum from any gangs that might come knocking on the door. Adrian looked at his homemade watch, which had an awkward rift where his marker had run out of ink. He had 16 minutes to get to the café. The whole trip was a blur of passing people who didn’t matter. When he came to a stop near the cafe doors he looked around for Nova. Where was she? He thought, hands on his knees, practically wheezing. At first it seemed like she wasn’t there, then he spotted a girl in a dark blue hoodie, it wasn’t her villain uniform but it still covered her face enough so that passers by wouldn’t recognize her. She had her fair share of fans and haters, what was worse, everyone expected Adrian to be the latter. He slid into the chair next to Nova and peered under the hood.

“Is that you?” He asked.

“Hi Adrian” she said pushing her hood back ever so slightly.

“How was last night?”

“Utterly and completely boring.” Nova groaned, sinking lower onto her elbows “Its times like this where I miss being a regular Anarchist. All the board ever does is talk about politics which I suppose is their job, but they’re doing well now, they don’t need me to supervise them anymore. They are ready to take over as a government separate from the Anarchists.”

“Why don’t you ask your uncle then?” Adrian said.

“He won’t listen.” Nova said.

“Are you sure, he always seems to listen to you.”

“Not about this, and, there are tons of things he doesn’t agree with me about, like us.”

“Have you even asked him?”

“Your mom was Lady Indomitable.” Nova said “there is no way he’ll accept you.” Adrian reached his hand across the table to Nova’s and they sat there simply holding hands. Adrian knew this was something Nova appreciated, since most people avoided touching her at all costs even something as simple as hand holding made her feel loved. For Adrian it was a similar sensation to riding a roller coaster, thrilling, and imminently dangerous, but oh so safe and wonderful.

“Your birthday’s coming up isn’t it?” Adrian asked knowing full well it was.

“Yeah, my uncle gave me the day off, but I’ll probably work anyway, I need to keep busy.” Nova said with a frown “you know you don’t have to get me anything right.”

“I know.” Adrian lied. A waitress passed by their table and set down two coffees to go, Nova lifted her hood ever so slight to ask for the check. The waitress graciously accepted and turned to leave, then she froze, gasped and hurried away. Nova sighed

“Will this ever end?” She sank her head down and rested her chin on the glass table, covering her head with her hands.

“People have prejudices, if they knew you then they wouldn’t judge.”

“But they aren’t wrong, I’m an Anarchist, I have killed people.”

“Not many.”

“Yeah, and that's not exactly something to brag about, around the Anarchists.”

“After the amount of deaths you’ve witnessed, they can hardly blame you for not wanting to inflict that.”

“But they do, they don’t understand mourning, just revenge.” Said Nova still burying her face in her sleeves. The waitress returned and swiftly set the bill down on the table before scurrying off once again. Nova sighed and fished some money out of her pocket, this time being sure to keep her hood low on her face as she did so. Then the couple picked up their drinks and left. They usually only went one of two places when they were together, the park, or Adrian’s flat. Today they were headed to the park. But they didn’t go to the part of this park that everyone else did, instead they went off the trail into a secluded garden practically overgrown with all sorts of plants. English ivy, morning glory, and hydrangeas. And then there was the statue. Her hands cupped and hood pulled up just like Nova’s. Actually they looked pretty comical standing next to each other. Adrian reached for nova’s hood, pushing it off her head.

“That’s better.” He said, resting his hand on her cheek “I hardly got to see your face earlier.” Nova was smirking now.

“It was the hood or a mob of angry people trying to run us out of the cafe.” She said

“I don’t want us to be a secret anymore.” Adrian said.

“What would your friends think if they found out that you were dating an Anarchist?” Nova asked.

“I don’t care.” Adrian said

“Well you should, and what happens when my uncle finds out? he’ll kill you.”

“If he actually cares about you he won’t, I think you’re making this out to be a bigger issue than it is.”

“I know, but I can’t lose you.”

“Ok, then I’m fine for things to stay as they are, I don’t need anything more than you.”

“Thank you” Nova said squeezing Adrians other hand. They sat together enjoying each other’s company.

“How’s Max?” Nova asked, Adrian sighed, he and Max had been taken care of by the captain and the dread warden, but it had only lasted for a few months and they had never had the chance to adopt the two boys, now they were effectively both orphans, Max was kept under tight security at a hospital. While they told people it was for Max’s own safety, most everyone knew Ace Anarchy liked to have the young boy where he could keep his eyes on him.

“He’s doing fine I guess, he’s feeling guilty after the incident with Danna, but they’ve been spending some quality time together recently.”

“We should go visit him again, it’s nice having someone I can be myself around, plus I’ve gotten good at disabling the cameras. I can’t believe he figured it out, he should be a detective or something.”

“I would like that.” Adrian looked into those fantastic blue eyes, a paradoxical combination of light and shattered darkness. He planted a light kiss on her lips and she smiled. He loved these moments, when it was just them and they had nothing to hide, nothing to fear. Together they sat at the base of the statue and just enjoyed each other’s company until the sun began to set.

“I have to go” nova said as she stood up, shifting her hood back over her face,

“See you.” Adrian replied as she walked away. He turned in the other direction. His house was about a block away from the cathedral and most people thought he was insane for living there, but it wasn’t all that dangerous, and he liked being close to Nova. When he arrived oscar and Ruby were sitting on the couch, which wasn’t too stange. He had given them both keys for emergencies and now they just broke into his house to hang out.

“Hey.” Oscar said, from his perch on the armrest of the couch. Ruby had a more reasonable seating arrangement and was leaned forward completely immersed in the video game. “Where were you?” He asked “doesn’t your shift at the studio end at 2:30?”

“Yeah it does.” Adrian said blushing

“Who is it?” Ruby said jumping up from her seat, she must have a sixth sense or something.

“It’s no one, really.” Adrian said, Ruby gave him a ‘I’m not that dumb you idiot’ glare.

“Sure sure.” She said, giving oscar a sideways look.

“How about you guys start dinner, I need some space.” Adrian headed to his room, most of the furniture was stuff he had drawn or painted and so tended to be simple and sort of small but he liked it. He took his sketchbook from his bedside table and got to work, he was sketching out jewelry. A simple necklace with a gold N and a little star. Maybe a bracelet? no she already had one. Jewelry was a stupid idea anyway, she had everything, and anything she didn’t have she could easily get. His thoughts started to wander and with them the purpose of his drawings, he began to draw a place he remembered going with his mom, out in the woods, and forest. The scenery was so peaceful and different from this city. He focused in on every penciled detail, each shadow, each illumination. Then he heard a knock. He jumped up and rushed to the door, slowly and carefully he squweaked the door open and peered out. It was Nova, and she was crying. Adrian opened the door all the way and pulled Nova inside, hugging her tight.

“What happened?” Adrian asked.

“We had a mission.” She sobbed “We we’re dealing with a gang on the north eastern ward, and” she took a shaky breath “I shot, one of the gang members, not in the foot or legs, Adrian I killed him, he was barely twenty and I killed him.” She was crying into Adrian’s shirt, burying her face in his shoulder, as if forcing out the images.

“Nova don’t blame yourself, what was he doing?”

“Pointing a gun at a group of hostages.” Nova said.

“So, you saved all those people.” Adrian said.

“But there had to have been a better way to do it.” Said Nova.

“Hey, Adrian!” Ruby shouted “who is it?”

“Ummmm I should leave.” Nova said. She turned but Adrian grabbed her arm,

“just try, I promise they won’t freak out.”

“Yes they will, to them, I’m a villain,” nova said, though she let Adrian pull her back into an embrace. “What happens when they hate me?” She murmured.

“We can cross that bridge if we come to it.” Adrian said, Nova pulled away, and took his hands in hers.

“Adrian, What’s going on?” Oscar and Ruby stuck their heads into the living room. Nova turned her head towards the two and everyone froze.

“Adrian,” Ruby said cautiously “I do hope you know who that is.”

“I am aware of my girlfriend’s identity, yes.”

“Your girlfriend?” Ruby exclaimed, “you’re dating an Anarchist? And Nightmare no less, Nova Ar-ti-no!” She broke down the syllables as if she was teaching a two year old a new word.

“Yes get over it.” Said Adrian, with a glare.

“Can everyone just calm down?” Nova shouted. Everyone stared at herm once again, she looked around the room, making eye contact with everyone. “Clearly this didn’t go the way you hoped Adrian, and I can tell I’m not wanted here,” she turned to Oscar and Ruby, “But just to be clear, if either of you leak a word of this and my uncle finds out, both of you will regret it.” And she stormed out the door.

“Her uncle doesn’t already know?” Oscar asked.

“No” Adrian said, his fingers massaging his temples “and she’s scared that if he finds out that he might try to kill me.”

“When were you going to tell us you were dating the most feared villain in all of Gatlon city?” Ruby asked.

“I wanted to, but we both knew people wouldn’t react well to us.”

“Well she can’t be that bad, I mean, Adrian has good judgement.” Oscar said to Ruby.

“I do, and she is nice, if you would just give her a chance.”

They left the subject alone after that, and while the rest of the evening was awkward, Adrian was glad he didn’t have to hide as much. After dinner he headed to his room and prepared Nova’s birthday present. It was perfect.

The next day Adrian awoke at 6 am sharp, energetic and ready to start the day. He began to draw and paint and prepare anything he might need, by one in the afternoon he was ready. He and Nova had decided to meet at the bus stop, three blocks from Adrian’s flat, so Adrian packed up his stuff and got going. He must have looked a bit strange with the giant duffle bags, but he didn’t really care. When he got to the bus stop Nova was there already, no hood in sight, this was Anarchists territory, she didn’t need to hide.

“What are those for?” Nova asked, an eyebrow arched.

“I thought we could go camping for your birthday.” Adrian said meekly. Nova surprised him by giving him a big hug.

“Thank you.” She whispered “No one has ever done something like this for me.” When the bus arrived, they both got on and stayed on for more than an hour until they finally got off at the last stop. Nova had contacted her uncle giving him a vague reason for her absence. By the time they had set up camp it was about 6 pm. The sun was just starting to set, illuminating the world in a crisp golden light. They sat together warming themselves by the fire and staring up at the stars. So separate from politics, from villains, from heroes, from secrets and all of their problems. Nova closed her eyes and Adrian did too, his over Nova’s shoulder. For a few minutes they sat in peace, then Adrian realized that Nova was fidgeting jerkily, as if she was having a nightmare, a moment later her eyes snapped open and she cried out

“No!” Then everything faded to black.

When Adrian came to the first thing he realized was that it was late, the sky was black and the noise from other campsites had faded. Next he saw Nova leaning over him and smiling, a wet towel pressed to his forehead.

“Sorry about that.” She said,

“I thought the flashbacks had gotten better.” Adrian said quizzically. Nova took in a deep breath,

“So did I, but after a few moments it came back and…” she shuddered, her whole body quaking from the terrifying memory, “then I reached the part where I put the hitman to sleep, I accidentally tranquilized you.” She said sheepishly. Adrian reached a hand up to her cheek but Nova tensed up and pushed it down, by his wrist which was cover by his jacket sleeve. She couldn’t even bring herself to touch him.

“I trust you Nova.” He said slipping his hand in hers. “Always and implicitly.”

“I love you Adrian.” She said resting her forehead on his, breathing in the late night air and feeling herself relax against him. “Always and implicitly.”

#renegades #nova #au #adrian everhart #adrian rawles #nova artino

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allthephils · 6 years

Text

Autofocus

Word count: 2140

Rated T for language

It’s just a fluffy little first meeting story in an au where Dan works at an amusement park photo kiosk and Phil likes to ride roller coasters.

Read on AO3

Written for @phanfichallenge photography challenge

Hate is a strong word. Dan doesn’t hate his job, not exactly. He knows it could be worse. He could be cleaning toilets or scraping food off of dishes. He knows that people do real manual labor, dangerous labor, for less money than he’s making to mostly sit on his ass. It’s just that he hates wearing this stupid green polo shirt and he hates going outside during the day. And he really hates dealing with cargo short clad vacation dads that look just like the guys that tried to shove Dan into his locker every day of his high school career. The only difference is these guys are balding and have beer guts and come with tiny little monstrous versions of themselves.

Luckily, poor customer service is a skill that Dan has carefully honed to near perfection. In most cases, he can complete an entire transaction without looking up from his phone. There is one perk to working here though, tit patrol. Tit patrol is the creative title the crew uses to refer to the person who sits at a computer and watches as newly taken photos page by, looking for obscene gestures, exposed arses, and of course tits. These photos get sent to a folder for deletion before they can slip by and show up on the big screen at the back of the kiosk. It’s a coveted position, though the show is far from tantalizing. Quick flashes of all kinds of flesh are more awkward than arousing and they’re interspersed with hundreds of terrified faces and awful shots of vomit flying. Dan loves being on tit patrol because, well because its hilarious, and because it means he doesn’t have to talk to people.

His shift started at 11 AM. Dan walked in at 11:10, iced coffee in hand. He pulled his hideous green polo shirt out and shoved his bag into his cubby. Everyday, he grumbles that he should be aloud to wear black since the kiosk sells photos of riders on a roller coaster called the Vampire. Everyday, his coworkers roll their eyes and ignore him. With his official employee shirt on, collar popped, sleeves rolled up, black t-shirt peeking out at the neck, he took his place behind the counter and began scrolling through Tumblr. It was mostly families with little kids before noon which meant this particular kiosk was dead. The Vampire is way too fast and way too scary for little kids.

The first customer of Dan’s day slides his ticket across the counter. In his usual way, Dan punches the number into his keyboard and the photo appears on both his screen and the one facing the customer.

“Oh wow. So much for my ultra masculine reputation.” The customer giggles a bit, looking at the photo of himself, hand thrown over his eyes, mouth open in a scream of fear, as the coaster sped downhill through a dark and foreboding cave.

Dan looks briefly at the photo and says, “5x7 for £10, or two for 20.”

The customer just stares at Dan who hasn’t so much as glanced at him. “One for 10 or two for twenty? Wait, but that’s not…”

Dan huffs and repeats himself, “5x7 for £10, or two for 20.”

“Okay,” the customer says, resigned, “I’ll take one please. I’ll put it up on my bathroom mirror to keep me humble.”

Dan just sort of grunts as he hits print. He slides the photo into an envelope and hands it over.

His voice is utterly devoid of joy as he issues the standard closing. “Thank you for riding the Vampire, we hope you had a bloody good time.”

A surprised laugh bubbles from the customer as he walks away.

As they move into afternoon, business picks up and a line forms. Dan is on autopilot. Take the ticket, enter the numbers, take the money, print the photo. Take the ticket, enter the numbers, “5x7 for £10, or two for 20.”

“Thought I’d stick with the theme, since I’m clearly a scaredy cat. Get it, scaredy cat?” Dan knows that voice. It’s the customer from earlier. “I’ll pass on the photo though, thanks.”

Dan looks to his screen. This time the man’s face isn’t covered by his hands and it’s a good face. He wears a big smile and his tongue pokes through his front teeth just the smallest bit. He had drawn on a black cat’s nose and whiskers but they don’t hide how strangely good looking he is. Even on this cut rate monitor screen, his eyes look impossibly blue. It’s all framed by a perfect black fringe, not much different than Dan’s own hair. It occurs to Dan that he could be looking right into those eyes and he snaps his gaze to look up at the customer. All he catches is two seriously long legs and a very cute booty walking away in black skinny jeans.

Dan pouts. He never gets to talk to hot boys and now he’d let one slip away. His eyes fall back to the photo on the screen and he sighs.

“Hey, are you working here or what?” Dan curls his lip in disgust at the sharp contrast between the obnoxious American dad in front of him and the ethereal being he saw on the screen. Ok, maybe ethereal is a bit much, but he seems funny and nice and he’s so pretty.

Dan mopes until he’s minutes away from his lunch break. His last customer hands him their ticket and Dan gasps when the photo appears. It’s him! His scaredy cat! The whiskers are gone. His eyes are squeezed shut, his mouth curled into a proud grin. He holds a small stuffed toy lion aloft, à la Circle of Life. Dan laughs, something he doesn’t do very often at work and the customer in front of him laughs with him.

“That boy.” Such a sweet, maternal tone. “I’ll take two copies please.” Her accent is decidedly northern, even more so than the scaredy cat’s had been. This must be his mum. He’s here with his family. So much for tracking him down and snogging him in the employee locker room. Dan carefully tucks the photos into an envelope and hands them to the nice woman.

He flashes his most parent pleasing smile. “Thank you for riding the Vampire. We hope you had a bloody good time!” He actually sounds sincere.

“Oh! Oh dear.” The woman laughs and shakes her head.

“Pardon the language miss.”

“Miss? Young man, I’m likely older than your mother! And believe me these ears have heard far worse than that!” She laughs with Dan and gives him a £20 note. “Phil is going to be tickled pink when he sees how these turned out. You have a lovely day!”

Dan waves as she walks away, standing up to try and catch a glimpse of who she might be headed toward. It’s no use, the crowds are too dense. Phil though, his name is Phil. Dan eats his amusement park pizza outside in the hot sun in the hopes that Phil might walk by but it doesn’t happen. He’s probably gone home. He’d been Dan’s first customer of the day after all. And who in their right mind rides a rickety old Vampire themed rollercoaster three times in one day? Dan daydreams blue eyes and goofy smirks till his half hour was up.

After lunch, he’s on tit patrol so Dan plops down in the back of the kiosk with a giant slushee, trigger finger hovering over the F9 key. The system only gives you a few seconds to make a judgement and send the offender packing before the photo goes up on the big screen for the whole world to see. Any distraction could mean 4 seconds of scandal, angry parents and angrier middle management. More than once, Dan had let a notification on his phone take his attention and had let a middle finger slip by. Not today though, today his eyes are glued to the screen, hoping Phil will ride one more time. He’d see the photo go by and trade with one of the guys at the front and this time, he’d talk to him. He wouldn’t be too edgy to notice and he wouldn’t chicken out.

There were two bras flashed, one simulated blow job, and a whole coaster car full of naked bums, but no Phil. His two hours of tit patrol are up and he reluctantly relinquishes his post. Back on the front lines, he falls into his pattern and soon his shift is nearly up. When he finds himself without a customer in front of him for the first time in an hour, Dan sits up, stretching and rolling his neck. As if put there by the hand of fate, Phil walks past the kiosk. He’s chatting excitedly with a man that looks a lot like him and a gorgeous woman with fiery hair. His parents trail behind, holding hands.

Just as the group gets far enough away that Dan would look like a psycho for running after them or calling Phil’s name, Phil turns and looks right at Dan. He doesn’t stop, he just turns in place like a model on a catwalk. He doesn’t smile, just catches Dan’s eyes with own and goes on his way. Dan swallows and groans out loud, letting his head thunk down on the the counter.

Accustomed to Dan’s flair for the dramatic, his co-workers chuckle and ignore him. Dan pulls off his ugly green polo and begins to gather his stuff to go home.

“Shit! Shit.” Dan’s co-worker, Jack was on tit patrol and it sounds like he let something by. “Personal info. Fuck. Oh well. Who holds up their phone number on a roller coaster? It’s not even like a proposal or whatever.”

The big screen fills Dan’s vision and he bolts upright. “Oh my god! Oh my god!”

Dan is jumping around and shouting to the disapproving looks of dozens of tourists and he couldn’t care less. Phil looks out at him from the big screen, a smirk better than the one Dan had imagined on his lips. He holds a sign that says, I hope you’re paying attention. And underneath that, a phone number.

Jack says, “Oh hello, he’s hot” and holds up his phone to capture the image. Another co-worker, Ellie, picks up a pen and starts to scribble down the number.

“Don’t you dare.” Dan snarls at Jack, pointing a finger menacingly. Jack lowers his phone and puts his hands up in surrender. Dan walks to Ellie and snatches the number from her hand.

She frowns, “How do you know it’s for you? It could be for any of us!”

“Oh, it’s for me.” Dan grins, his dimples digging in deep, “HE is for me.” He turns up his nose and spins on his heel for the most theatrical exit he can muster, then walks out of the kiosk to a chorus of giggles and grumbles.

Once he’s out of the park, he sits down on a bench at the edge of the parking lot and enters the number into his phone. He types in the name, Phil, bouncing in his seat like a giddy child after too much cotton candy. His hands shake as he types out a message, praying to no one that he hadn’t read that look wrong.

Hi Phil, It’s Dan from the Kiosk.

He hits send, his knee bouncing with nerves and as he’s returning the phone to his pocket, it vibrates.

Dan? You’re the one with the green hair, right?

Is he kidding? He must be kidding. He didn’t even talk to Jack. Another vibration. Dan holds his breath.

Dan? I’m kidding, of course! What follows is a string of emojis, a dinosaur, a warthog, some fireworks, and a cry laughing emoji. I know who you are. You’re the one with the chocolatey eyes and incredible dimples. Nice to meet you, Dan.

Dan exhales and a flutter moves through his belly, up past his heart, and down to his fingertips. Phil laid it on thick and it was working.

Nice to meet you too, Phil.

So Dan, I’ve got a pretty wild Friday night planned.

Oh yeah? Dan replies.

Yeah, it includes pizza, Ribena, and…

Dan breathes a laugh to himself and types, drumroll...

JURASSIC PARK!!!

Gasp! Pizza and Jeff Goldblum?!! I don’t know Phil, sounds intense. You’re easily frightened. You sure you can handle it?

Maybe if I had someone here to help me through it, someone strong and brave. You know anyone like that?

Yeah, but I think Jack’s busy tonight. Dan typed but stood and began his walk to the bus stop. He wasn’t wasting any more time.

I guess you’ll have to do then, Dan.

END

#phanfic #phanfiction #oneshot #fluff #phanfichallenge #myfic

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buckysdiary · 5 years

Text

Healing Hands - Prologue

Pairings: Castiel x Pandora

Prologue

Read This on DeviantArt!

Summary: Sam is in the cage. Dean is with Lisa and Ben. Castiel is back up in Heaven. And Pandora, Sam and Dean’s sister figure, is left with Bobby and a sticky note to explain what happened and where everyone went. Both Dean and Castiel left Pandora on her own, telling her to try and have a normal life and stop hunting. However, this only makes Pandora angry, since she thought family would never leave each other on their own. She fights with herself over being kind and staying with Bobby, or actually moving far away to forget that she ever knew Sam, Dean, or Castiel.

Words: 5,039

Warnings: Violence, Blood, Gore, Swearing

A/N: It’s been a while.

I've done a lot of stupid things in my life. I've ruined friendships, family connections, and even my own health because of all the idiotic, senseless things I've either said or done. Most of them, I regret, but not all of them; like the one time I threw a baseball so hard it flew through the window of my neighbor's house. Of course, I was scolded for that - but in the end, it got me a place on the girl's baseball team for a few years as the lead pitcher. Another time, I accidentally missed the bus to visit my Aunt - my father was furious, yelling at me about a wasted ticket. It actually turned out pretty well, because later that day, the bus ended up swerving off of the highway and crashing into the opposing traffic. If I had been on that bus, I probably would have been seriously injured, if not dead. So, like I said, I don't regret everything, even if the things I did held no beneficial result; but the dumbest, ridiculous, most foolish mistake I have ever made was tagging along with the Winchesters. I'm not saying that I regret it; I'm not saying that I don't. in fact, I couldn't tell you if I did or didn't. Every day with these two was a roller coaster. But joining forces with them was pretty damn stupid of me to do. I got myself into more trouble with Sam and Dean than I did before I met them - and I was often in a good amount of trouble. You see, I was a victim once. A long time ago, when I was 16 years old. My father had always been abusive towards me, was ridiculously short-tempered, and would often leave the house for days at a time after beating me. It just so happened that on one of those days, a ghoul had killed him; he returned home, disguised in my father's skin, and immediately began to treat me as any loving father would their daughter. And I, being unbelievably gullible, thought that he had just had a change of heart. For three days, I let this creature kiss my cheek and tell me, "I love you," thinking it was my own dad; but it felt good. I believed that things had taken a turn for the better. That was, until the blood-sucker grew a bit thirsty. I'm not going to go into detail about what happened after that. Let's just say, I lost a lot of blood, the Winchesters killed the ghoul, and the next thing I know, monsters are real. After that whole incident, they both gave me a pep talk on creatures such as that, and told me to go find my next closest relative to live with. Basically; don't wander around by myself. But who were they kidding? I wasn't about to live with a distant relative that I hadn't spoken with in years - for all I knew, they could be some sort of monster as well. The only two people that I trusted at the moment were Sam and Dean. They were the only people I could be sure weren't monsters. So, unless my aunt Mandy was wiling to cut herself with a silver knife to prove she was in fact not a blood-thirsty beast, I was sticking with those two baboons. Long enough that, after a few years, they actually accepted me as a sister-figure. And there, dear reader - there, is where I signed up for the longest and wildest thrill-ride that would be the rest of my life. ------------- One Year and Six Months Ago I couldn't believe it. No matter how many times I told myself, no matter how many times I tried to look past the meat suit, I still couldn't believe it - I was less than twenty feet away from the devil himself. I knew Sam was in there, too. I knew he could fight through this, fight Lucifer and win his mind back. But as I watched him, how he acted, how he spoke... I couldn't register it as two different souls in one body. I translated it as Sam - a sarcastic, asshole Sam that was low-key trying to kill us all. Then, there was Adam - or currently, Michael. He looked normal as ever, only angry as Hell (no pun intended). Adam was their half brother that they had met not too long ago. Or, at least, they had met his Ghoul twin. He and Lucifer were just getting ready to fight, until the four of us had pulled up, cutting the showdown short. I stood behind Castiel, with Bobby and Dean to my left. Rock of Ages was still blasting from the Impala's radio - it felt pretty empowering, listening to the song as we casually drove into the cemetery. But now that we were actually facing down two archangels, it didn't seem to offer any comfort or assurance. My hand rested on the angel blade in my pocket, although I knew it wouldn't be any use. My entire body was trembling despite my efforts to calm myself down. I didn't want Lucifer to know how terrified I was, or else he would use my fear against me. Still, the very thought of that made me afraid, and I only continued to panic with each second. While Lucifer and Michael were focused on Dean, Castiel took his chance to catch them by surprise. "Hey! Assbutt!!" shouted, and threw flaming glass bottle of Holy Fire at Michael. Moments after it hit him, the archangel screamed and burst into flames, disappearing into thin air. Just the sight of it made me quiver, as I realized just how much we had gotten ourselves into. Lucifer glared menacingly at Castiel, while Dean sent him a disappointed look. "Assbut?" he repeated. "He'll be back, and upset." Castiel ignored him. "But you've got your five minutes." "Castiel?" We all looked at Lucifer, who was now closing the distance between him and Cas. My knuckles were white around my angel blade, and in my fear, I began stuttering the Lord's Prayer under my breath. "Did you just Molotov my brother with Holy Fire?" he asked angrily. Castiel's mouth quivered into a nervous smile. "Uh... no?" he stammered. Lucifer stopped a few feet away from the angel. "No one dicks with my brother - but me." Seconds later, he snapped his fingers together. Suddenly, Castiel exploded into a red mist. Pieces of him went flying everywhere, landing on me and Bobby, and hitting the front of the Impala. "CAS!!" I screamed. My eyes were shut, trying to avoid looking at the remains of him surrounding me. Lucifer smirked mischievously. "This is why you don't mess with an archangel's stuff." I snapped. "You fucking BASTARD!!" I shouted. It had completely slipped my mind that this was still partially Sam, and not wholly Lucifer. I began to pull my angel blade from my coat pocket. "Panda, NO!!" Dean's voice rang out, loud and clear - but I didn't listen. I had spend years with Castiel, listening to him, laughing with and at him, watching him hunt with Sam and Dean. He had been one of my closest family members, even though we never shared the same blood. He was important to me; and now, this selfish parasite that was infested into Sam had just demolished him, right in front of my eyes. Angrily, I took the angel blade from my pocket and threw it at Lucifer. "PANDORA!!" Dean shouted again. The blade hit its mark, and perfectly. It landed right between Lucifer's eyebrows, causing him to stumble from the impact. For a second, I felt proud of my aim. Baseball practice really paid off, I guess. Then, as I realized what I had done, I was devastated. Not only did I hurt Lucifer, but Sam as well. I had probably ruined any chance of saving my brother that we had. I had killed Sam, and in that moment, I wished I could take the angel blade back. However, despite having the blade lodged into his head, Lucifer steadied himself. He looked at me with a proud smirk. "Wish granted." he stated. Before I could even register what he had meant, the blade was thrust from his forehead and straight into my throat. A painful, burning surge was sent into my chest - I tried to scream, but all that came out were choking sounds. I grabbed my throat, instantly recognizing the warm, wet, red substance running through my fingers. I sank to my knees in shock, unable to tear my eyes away from the blood. No... In seconds, Bobby was kneeling on the ground behind me, trying to cradle my head and muttering empty words. "Panda, look at me - keep your eyes on me - you're ok - everything's gonna be fine - " "Oh, what a shame..." I met Sam's smiling face. It's not him... It's not Sam... It's not Sam!! "Sorry, Panda." he said, so sincerely. It definitely sounded like Sam. It felt like it was Sam who had just slit my throat. So, in my half-dead state of mind, it was Sam, smirking at me, taunting me, watching me die. In a snap, my head hit the cold ground, and I was staring at the grass and Dean's shoes. It was all so quick; I went from angry to panicked, the blood was quickly rising up into my mouth, and my mind was quick to black out. And that was the last of it... for a while, at least. ---------------- Six hours later I had been awake for quite some time, listening intently. I heard birds outside, faint chatter coming from a radio, and the sound of willows swaying in the wind. Strange, that I would hear such things, when I was dead. Unless I was in Heaven... did Heaven have birds and trees? I always imagined that there were, but that was before I had found out that angels were often jerks, and God wasn't home all the time. Still, where else would there be birds and trees? Certainly not Hell. Well, I thought, if I would actually open my eyes and check, I would know where I was. However, I didn't want to open my eyes. No matter how beautiful my Heaven or how awful my Hell may be, I didn't want to accept that I was dead. Not to mention, I'd probably be alone where I was. I remembered the slit in my throat, the dull feeling of my head hitting the ground... but after that, I couldn't explain what I felt. There was definitely a memory after I blacked out, but the only word I could use to describe it was... nothing. Non-existent, was more of an understandable term, though no one could understand it unless they had felt it. But now, I was in... Heaven? Right? Or Hell? I knew I had moved on to one of those places, because I felt something. I was lying down, and the scent of dust and grease filled my nose. Where would I be where they would have dust? I thought. Hell, probably... but is this as bad as Hell gets? What about the sounds of the birds and the radio and the wind? Where's the fire and the torture and the screaming? Maybe my Hell is just... not knowing where I am. Being forced to wander around for eternity, never understanding where I am or where I'm going, what'll happen to me, who I'll meet- "Pandora?" I stiffened at the sound of my name - more, at the voice that had said it. It was definitely Bobby's voice. But then, that would mean... he was dead too? And we were both in Hell? Or Heaven? In my confusion and fear, I forced myself to open my eyes. I was greeted by the familiar living room of Bobby Singer, lying on his older-than-shit couch. He sat in front of me, his eyes filled with concern and caution. My thoughts were racing. Why is Bobby here? Where the Hell am I?! Where are Sam and Dean?! "...Pandora?" he repeated after a while. I stared at Bobby with wide eyes, as I felt my heartbeat pounding in my chest. It was strange to hear his voice; it felt as if I were hearing it for the very first time, though I knew that wasn't true. For a moment, I faltered. "Are... are we...?" "No," he replied, "we're very much alive. This ain't Heaven." I slowly processed his words. "Hell?" "Afraid not." That's not possible... I thought. "But- " The words were hard to say. "-but I died. He... he slit my throat." "Cas healed you and Dean, right before he left." "Cas is alive?!" I sat upright on the couch, disbelief plain on my face. Despite being dead a few hours earlier, my body was strangely full of energy. "So... so it must have worked? The plan that Dean had?" He hesitated for a bit. "Well... you see- " "Wait, why did Cas leave?" I asked. There were so many questions in my head. Mainly, how Cas was somehow revived from the dead, but also, why he would take off right after he had been blown to bits. "Said he had business up in Heaven." Bobby replied. "Alright, that's fair..." I tried to calm myself down and process everything that was going on: Cas died, I died, Sam somehow got Lucifer back into the cage... so we were alright? Despite the adrenaline still pumping in my veins from earlier, we should be okay? "Where's Dean?" I asked. Bobby didn't reply. He was staring at the wall behind me, avoiding the question. Panic struck me at his response "Where's Dean?!" I said again, a bit impatient. A sigh escaped his lips. "He's gone, too." I bit my lip as my emotions took over my mind. "What do you mean... gone? Like, 'I'll be back' gone, or... 'I won't be back'?" I chocked, thinking about what could have happened to him. "Well, he ain't dead." Bobby said, matter-of-factly, and I sighed in relief. "But he ain't coming back either, Panda." Anger now replaced any emotion I had beforehand. "Why? What does that mean?! And where the Hell did he go? Why would he leave us behind, just like that?" "He left a note." I scoffed. "Yeah, leave a note, that will fix everything." Bobby sighed again, before motioning towards a sticky note on the table. I bit my lip. An indirect message - not a good sign. Panda- I know you're probably mad that all I left was a note - I just didn't want to make this harder than it had to be. If I told you what I was doing in person, you wouldn't have let me go. The fight's over. It's all over. Satan's back in Hell with Michael, and Sam- well, Sam is gone too. And I'm sorry to say that so am I. This is your chance to start a new life, to be a normal human being. You can put hunting behind you and pretend none of this had ever happened. If you ever wanted to start a family, go back to school - here's your chance. I'm going back to take care of Lisa and Ben, to try and live the life I was never given the chance to start. I'm done with hunting. My family is now my first priority. But if you ever need me, you'll know where to find me. -Dean "He wants you to know that he left you here for your own good." Bobby said, never looking me in the eyes. "To keep you out of trouble." My head was shaking as I read the note over and over, tears stinging the edges of my eyes. "That's it?" I said angrily. "He just dumps me on your couch for you to take care of, and then drives off to live with Lisa?! I've been hunting with him for how long? And he suddenly thinks that I need protection?" I was fuming; " 'My family is now my first priority.' Who does he think is his family?! Apparently, not you or me, who fought next to him for a good chunk of his life. Apparently it's this fling he had a few years ago?!" "Pandora, I'm hurt by it just as much as you are." Bobby said. "But you gotta understand, Dean's right. He never got to live a normal life because of the way John treated him; he should be allowed to have this much." I shook my head. "I just don't understand how he could leave us behind like that. Family isn't just the person you have feelings for, family is the people who would risk their lives multiple times just to make sure you live to see another day." Bobby fell silent and stared at his hands in his lap. I was still furious over Dean's note, rereading it again, hoping that I would get some form of relief from it. But it only made me more angry. "I didn't get bitten by a vampire and save his ass for nothing. I didn't go through those stupid Djinn hallucinations for nothing. I did it because I knew he would do the same for me." I slammed the note back onto the table in anger. "Or so I thought." Bobby quickly spoke up. "Panda, you know he still cares about you. You're practically his sister." "Then why did he leave?!" I screamed. Bobby jumped in his seat at my outburst, but had nothing to say. I fell back down on the sofa, resting my head in my hands. "And what about Sam?" I asked. "Did he leave with Dean? Did he give up on hunting too?! He would have been livid if he knew what Dean was doing! He wouldn't have let his brother just walk off, Sam wouldn't do that! Where is he?!" Bobby was silent all throughout my rant. His eyes moved from mine to the floor, and he sighed. A sick, twisted feeling suddenly rose in my stomach. "Bobby, where's Sam?" I managed to whisper the words out, but I had a vague idea of what the answer would be. Bobby looked back at me sadly. "Panda... Sam didn't make it." I knew he would say that. I knew it was going to be bad - we had expected that Sam wouldn't survive from the beginning, and had accepted it. But knowing that he was dead was a whole different feeling. My mind was screaming with agony, and I wanted to cry as loud and as long as I could. But I forced myself to swallow it all, and instead stared at the floor. If I looked at Bobby, I knew I would fall apart. "So we didn't win?" I stammered, fighting the bile that threatened to rise into my throat. "Lucifer got to Sam?" "Well, not exactly..." Bobby said. "Lucifer is back in the cage, but only because Sam..." he choked on his own words. "He threw himself in there with him." His voice was hoarse as he spoke. "Adam - well, Michael, should I say - fell in the cage too." As Bobby was telling me all this, I chuckled. I don't know why I did, and I was appalled at myself for doing it. Bobby looked at me, astonished just as much as I was, as to why I would laugh in such a time. It was more of a nervous laughter - my body's own response to sorrow, an attempt my mind was making to try and cheer myself up. But I only felt like shit for giggling, and I wanted to stop. "Panda, you alright?" Bobby asked. Looking into his eyes, I noticed that tears were just about to fall from them - and I felt sick. I couldn't hold back my own emotions, and I began to sob. I was still in shock and disbelief that I had died (as anyone would be), and that I had been revived from death. And when I woke up, everyone had left; one was torn from me, and the other two abandoned me. What the Hell am I supposed to do when that happens? Did Dean and Castiel expect me to feel happy that I was alone? And did they not feel any guilt, leaving Bobby here alone to tell me what had happened? I mean, Dean couldn't even stay to tell me that his fucking brother had died?! Was I stupid enough to believe that he would actually take a bullet for me? Bobby began to choke on his own sobbing. "Pandora, we're gonna get through this- " I ignored him, instead leaving the room in a hurry. He called out my name frantically, but I ignored him. I ran into the guest bedroom and threw myself onto the bed. My head throbbed with anger and confusion, questions were racing through my mind... I was crushed. I was alone. But if Castiel and Dean truly believed that I could survive alone, then I was going to do just that. I wasn't going to care anymore. I was going to accept that the Winchesters and I were never as close as I thought we were - nowhere near as close. I was going to be by myself, be independent - I never relied on them all that much, but now, I was going to be completely and utterly on my own. And I wasn't going to regret anything. Except... Only that I never got to say goodbye. ---------------- Three hours later With a frustrated sigh, I finally was able to get my suitcase closed. I had stuffed all of the extra clothes and necessities that I always kept at Bobby's, including an old picture of me and my dad - I never knew why I hung onto it, since it didn't make me happy. There was also a small bird made of elm wood that Sam had carved for me - or, had attempted to, anyways. He knew how much of an avid fan I was of Edgar Allen Poe, so for my eighteenth birthday, he tried to carve a raven for me. We all agreed to just call it a 'bird' and ignore the fact that it barely even resembled that. Next to it, I had stuffed a compass that Dean gave me. He had no reason to, except that he found it during a hunt and believed he was too good for using it. Still, it held some significance to me - it was the only thing Dean had ever given me that wasn't also accredited to Sam. Along with those things, I packed my pocket bible, some extra rock salt, a copy of Jane Eyre (my favorite), and an extra hand gun I had kept hidden from the boys. Lord knows they would have never trusted me with anything again if they knew I had one of my own. Lastly, I put on Dean's old Commander Slub Twill jacket that I most definitely did not steal, and tucked my angel blade into my belt loop. I was finally ready to get out of here. Don't get me wrong - I wasn't taking Dean's advice to begin a life that I was never able to have. The life of an Average Joe sounded completely dull to me, and the last thing I wanted to do at the moment was follow orders from Dean. I just wanted to get away from the wreck that had been left behind. I could keep hunting monsters and just completely forget the whole first twenty years of my life. Well... somethings wouldn't be forgotten, of course, like all the knowledge I had learned about hunting from Sam, and my so-so combat skills from Dean. Also, Bobby taught me plenty about which beer is the best to drink after killing which creature. Those were precious memories I planned to hold for life. Quietly, I pattered down the staircase, carrying my single bag of luggage and avoiding the creaky spots. One last glance around the house, one last peek at the cluttered bookshelves and dusty furniture... it wasn't at all difficult to say goodbye. My home had always been in the back seat of the Impala (or the front, if Sam didn't feel like fighting me for it) and in old motels. However, an easy goodbye didn't make me feel any better. I felt empty, almost as though I was walking through a dream and just waiting for the moment where I would wake up to my normal life. "You gonna leave a note for me?" I jumped; in the kitchen, Bobby was sitting at the table, head in his hands, his back to me. There were several empty beer bottles on the table, including a few pictures scattered beside them. It looked as though he hadn't moved since I fled the living room earlier, save getting up to get the beer. "You didn't lose everyone, Panda." He turned to face me, and I noticed his eyes were red and swollen from crying. "I'm still here. I didn't leave you." A pang of guilt struck me right in the gut. I hadn't even thought about what leaving would do to Bobby - I had just assumed that he didn't need me, just like Dean and Cas had figured. If I left him here now, all alone... I would be no better then those two. I'd be doing exactly the same as they were doing to me, and Bobby didn't deserve that. But what was the other option? If I stayed, what would my future be? Watching old television programs with Bobby, killing a ghost every now and then, drinking beer, working on cars... It was sickening just to think about it, that my life wouldn't progress into anything. "I have to go, Bobby." I said, although I didn't believe it myself. "You know that, I can't stay here." "Why not?" he asked, his voice quivering. I hesitated with my answer. "I don't belong here anymore. The fight's over, there's nothing to do now. I need to move on." "Why does moving on have to mean leaving me?" His head was once again resting in his hands. "Because I need to go somewhere in life. I need to do something, or I'll just spend the rest of my life rotting away in this old shack." I didn't mean for my words to sound so harsh; then again, maybe I did. Maybe I wanted to make it easier for Bobby to let me go, by making his last memory of me a sour one. "Alright..." He took a sip of his beer, refusing to look at me. "Then go." he said. "Leave, go find a better life. If you ever come back, promise me you'll toss out my rotten corpse." I bit my lip; it was painful to hear him say that. But what did I expect? Wasn't this a better goodbye than one filled with empty promises to return one day? Wasn't it better then staying here at all? "I'm sorry, Bobby." "Don't try to sweeten your words, you already spat them out." he said coldly. I faltered at the scorn in his voice. If I walk out now, this will be my last memory of Bobby. I could stay and try to be his family, since he has no one else. I could try- "Why are you still standing there?" he asked, raising his voice. "If you're gonna leave me, then leave! Just get out already!!" He raised an empty beer bottle and threw it in my direction. I quickly dodged it and let it crash against the front door. Panic filled my chest as the shards of glass fell around me, and I was shaking with fear and anger. Feeling his words in the core of my chest, I dashed through the front door into the pouring rain, letting the wind breaker slam behind me. My eyes were hot with tears as I ran - I need to get away. I couldn't stand this - the entire day had been so awful, and it had all started and ended at Bobby's place. I just had to escape it, and I didn't care where I would end up. I just had to leave it all behind. "FUCK YOU DEAN!!" I screamed, and threw my bag down. "AND FUCK YOU CAS!! I HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU BOTH!!" I let my emotions take over me as I pulled out Dean's compass and, with perfect aim, chucked it right through the window of a nearby, broken-down Chevy. "I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR DISGUSTING FACES AGAIN!!" As I stepped back after my throw, I slipped in the muddy ground and landed on my back, knocking the wind right out of me. I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration and... screamed. I just screamed. I couldn't think of anything else to do or to say. Castiel and Dean didn't just leave, they took everything I had. "Because all I had was you two and Sam!!" I shouted again. Whether Cas could hear me or not, I didn't care. I opened my eyes and sat up. My clothes, now soaking, were beginning to make me shiver, and I had to start walking before the rain got any worse. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bobby. He was staring at me from the kitchen window, a beer bottle in his hand. I stared back, neither angry at him nor ashamed of myself. I just stared. Get one good look at him before you leave him to dry out on his own. Did he hate me now? Suddenly, I remembered a friend I had in Bar Harbor, Maine. Lena. She was a good soul, although careless, but I knew she would let me in if I asked for her help. Deciding that was the best place to stay in my current situation, stood up and wiped the rain from my eyes. I made sure to avoid meeting Bobby's stare again, instead glaring at the road before me. Leaving the embers of those burned memories behind, along with Dean's compass, I set out towards my new destination. It was going to be a long walk.

#castiel x reader #castiel x pandora #supernatural #cas #castiel #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #dean winchester #sam winchester #imagine #supernatural imagine #cas x reader #cas x pandora

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ss-squad-au-real-world-stories · 6 years

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Ch. 3

The following storyline is one big roller coaster ride of emotions. It will have its ups and it will have its downs. It will have its OMG moments and cliffhangers. Lots of cliffhangers (how else do you expect me to keep ya coming back?) there will be angst, drama, action, mystery, and possible love. Not sure on that yet, we’ll see where it goes. I will do my best to keep the language down. I’m not fond of using the F’ bomb, but words like bitch and asses may be tossed around. That’s about the most of it, but nothing too profane. I know that some of ya’s are under 18. So as to not get myself or you in too much trouble, I’ll do my best to keep the language in check. Just know that this story is all over the place and you read at your own risk. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

The next morning Logan’s phone rang startling the three friends awake. He looked to see who it was and saw that it was the hospital.

“Hello?”

“Hey Logan,” It was Virgil, he gave a small sigh of relief and listened. “The doc just got done looking me over and said I can go home. Can you come and get me?”

“Yea, sure. We’ll be there in about twenty minutes.”

“Ok. Thanks”

When they got to the hospital, they found a crowd of people with cameras out front. “Aren’t those the reporters from last night?” whispered Patton into Logan’s ear. Logan nodded “Maybe we should try a different entrance.” They walked in behind where the ambulance doors were. A nurse approached them.

“Sorry boys, only ambulance victims through these doors.” She said with her arms spread. Roman smiled at her. “Fair lady, we have a friend upstairs who is to be released today and the crowd of reporters out front, we fear are for him. He was the drowning victim that was brought in yesterday. Could you please bend the rules today and allow us access in and out this way? Just this once please?”

Another woman approached them “It’s ok Cindy, I know them, Logan isn’t it?” Logan nodded his head. “Yes, mam.” She smiled at him. “Let me get a guard to guide you in and out of the hospital.”

“Thank you, that would be most appreciated.”

Virgil smiled at them as they walked in, a nurse was bandaging his arm where the iv had been. Roman entered last pushing a wheelchair, “Your chariot young lord.” He smiled. Virgil shook his head and let out a small laugh as he climbed into the wheelchair. He pointed towards the door. “Home Jeeves.” Roman pushed him out of the room.

“I don't ever want to be in another hospital again. I just want to get home and go to sleep.” Said, Virgil, as he was being pushed down the hall.

“What? Why? It couldn't have been that bad.” Asked Roman.

“The nurses kept coming in and checking my vitals. I hardly got any sleep, unlike you.” He complained.

Logan let out a small laugh, “I beg to differ. Your health and wellbeing kept us up all night.”

Patton pushed the elevator button and looked at Virgil. “What Logan said! Also, I'm afraid that going straight home is out of the question, we have a full day ahead of us.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, “Why?” They entered the elevator. “We need to go to the courthouse and see about helping Devleon out.” Replied Patton.

“Ungh. Fine, but first can I get some real food?” whined Virgil. Patton smiled, “Sure! Where do you want to go?” Virgil closed his eyes in thought, “How about the Tiny Turtle, I could really go for one of their Ocean Wraps.” The elevator doors opened, and they got off “Anything for you kiddo!” smiled Patton.

They thanked the guard for letting them exit out the ambulance doors. They started to head for the car, Virgil saw a flash of light off to his left. It was a man holding a camera, the man took another picture of them. “Hey BARB! He’s exiting out the Ambulance doors!" The next thing they knew, there was a flood of reports heading their way with camera's flashing and people calling out to Virgil and his friends.

As the reporters shouted and asked questions, Virgil, sunk into his hoodie. He started hyperventilating and Patton knew that if he didn't get him out of there quick Virgil would have a full-on panic attack. Patton grabbed Roman’s arm and hissed into his ear “Do something!” Roman gave a quick nod and held up his hands to draw everyone’s attention to himself.

“Would you all like to know the actual story of what happened to my friend and why we went to rescue the fair Virgil?!” All the camera’s turned to him and he started talking about the past events while Patton and Logan snuck off with a panic-stricken Virgil.

Once in the car, Patton held Virgil tight and got him to do his breathing exercises. A few moments passed and Roman hopped quickly into the car “Drive and don't stop!” He shouted. Logan drove away surprisingly fast and wild. It was the first time the other three were honestly very terrified for their life.

After a few moments of the wild ride, Patton was the first to speak up “Logan, we're not in a car chase. So, if you would, please drive a bit saner before I get sick or a cop pulls us over.”

Logan’s eyes went wide, and he slowed down “Right, sorry fellas. Guess I got a bit carried away; what with all that action and Roman springing into the car like that. My adrenaline was a bit on the high side there. By the way Roman, why did I have to peel out like that?”

“Once I was done clarifying the story to them about what happened, they started to ask questions about Dev and what would happen to him, to which I couldn’t answer and when no comment wasn’t enough for them, I just bolted for the safety of a clean getaway. Which Logan supplied nicely, I might add.” Replied Roman, patting Logan on the arm. He then turned back and looked at Virgil. “Hey bud, you ok? I’m sure that wasn’t what you were expecting to get greeted by. After spending a night in the hospital.”

Virgil shook his head “I had a feeling something might happen, but no not like that. What I mean is, I watched the news last night and how they said that Dev tried to kill me, by replaying that stupid video repeatedly on all four news channels, but for some reason, I feel like he really wasn’t.”

Patton shifted uncomfortably in his seat “He wasn’t, he claims it was just a joke and that he didn’t know you couldn’t swim, for if he had, he wouldn’t have done that.”

“Logan do you think we can stop by the courthouse, so I can talk to them about Dev and his situation.” Asked Virgil.

“Sure, but what if those reporters who were at the hospital go there next?”

Virgil stared out the window shivering at the thought. Roman snapped his fingers “I’ve got an idea! We'll dress up in disguises!! It'll be like a Disney original movie! I already have so many ideas!”

“Then back to the house then?” asked Logan.

“No, to the THEATER!” replied Roman dramatically.

@thatsthat24 @thejoanglebook @tallykat3 @oresamawesome @immacrazyfangirl @anxietystatement @bunny222 @wooflesthatwoof @wicked-rosie @tsfanart @anxiousangelvirgil @iris-sanders-athena @randomslasher @youtuberswithalex @just-an-anxious-mess @ts-storytime @lilkrazykat

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tysonrunningfox · 6 years

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Aftermath

Yeah, I didn’t manage to write shit, so I’m posting this. It’s a roller coaster of emotional whiplash. I love it. Eret’s sisters antagonize him. Smitelout makes a guest appearance. Good shit.

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It’s cold the next time I’m aware. It’s cold and my ass hurts and Fuse is talking to me.

“Hey, Eret.” She must be the one touching my cheek and that wakes me up. She’s standing over me and the fire’s crackling like she just fed it. It’s still warm under my arm where she was last night and Gods, that was real? All of that was real?

I sit up enough to see Ingrid, still curled under a blanket in the chair, bandaged hand hanging down almost to the floor.

“What?” I sit up straighter and Fuse’s fingers tangle slightly in my hair and she’s almost smiling as she looks down at me with a half panicked expression.

“We fell asleep. I have to get home before my parents wake up.” Her hair is mostly out of her braid and there’s sleep in her eyes and she’s pretty enough to make me glad to be awake even though the sun’s not up yet.

“Ok,” I reach up and touch the back of the hand that’s on my cheek and I’m not sure how much of this I’m going to remember but I want it to be all of it. “I’ll see you?”

“Yeah, sure. Can you move to the chair? My back hurts from half the night.”

“Can’t see the door from there,” I sigh when she pulls her hand away.

“See you later.” She pauses for a second with the door half open and smiles, “Eret.”

I try not to go back to sleep. I really try. I try to hear Bang’s snores as a warning, as Ingrid being unguarded, but it’s not true because Fuse is outside and even though the floor is deeply uncomfortable I end up slumping down onto it and resting my head on my arm.

The next time I wake up, Ingrid is standing over me.

“You couldn’t find a blanket? Or a chair? Or a bed?” She pokes me with her toe and I groan. “And here I thought you were so mature.”

I groan again. My butt feels like it’s never going to wake up.

“I couldn’t see the door from a chair.”

“Bang has been watching the door awake all night.” She kicks me a little more firmly in the hip, “you could have found a bed.”

I glare at her.

She looks more like herself. Skinnier, more tired, her hair hanging in tangled mops around her face like it never is, but she looks like Ingrid. Ingrid irritated that I’m running her late for something.

“I’m up, just give me a minute.”

“There’s no food here, I’m guessing.” She walks away and looks on the shelves on the other side of the hearth. She sweeps a bunch of dust off of one and I sneeze.

“I don’t know,” I groan as I push myself to my knees and try to stretch my back out. “It’s not my house.”

She’s quiet. Silent even.

“Anymore,” I amend, sitting back on my heels and stretching for a minute before staggering to my feet. “It was, I’ve just been at the chief’s for a while now.”

“He and Mom are together, aren’t they?” She doesn’t look fragile when she asks, but I can’t help but notice those gray eyes that don’t exist on Berk except for her and Dad and Rolf. I shrug.

“Yeah. It’s kind of gross.”

“It’s sad,” she frowns, “this place used to be nice. And full of food.”

“They’re married,” I walk over to her in case she needs another hug, but of course she’s stronger than that, “before they got together, but…they’re together and married.”

“Huh.”

“Huh?” I toss a few pieces of kindling onto the coals. “What’s huh?”

“I’m just…thinking.” She leans against the table, catty corner from her usual chair, like she’s pointedly avoiding where I think she’s supposed to sit. “So. Arvid is dating Aurelia Haddock. And it’s serious enough that she can talk to Dad which…and Rolf didn’t show. Not exactly surprising but…where does Thorston fit in?”

“With me.” I blurt before coughing, “I mean, she’s my friend. She was just…nearby.”

“Right.” Ingrid crosses her arms, bandage on top, staring down at her hand like it’s not hers. It doesn’t seem like hers to me either.

It’s different than the chief’s leg or Gobber’s arm. It’s more abrupt, more startling. There’s a hand and it’s right until it’s not. There’s no line, it’s a curve, a gray area between normal and not. Between Ingrid and bare space.

“Are you hungry?” I ask, brushing some more dirt off of my sleeve, “I could go get food or something.”

“Are you and Arvid still fighting?”

“I don’t know.” I answer in the name of honesty and keeping this easy, “we were, then he kicked my ass, then I kicked his ass—”

“And he started dating your sister you used to have a crush on,” she raises an eyebrow, “that’s a used to, right?”

“That’s why you chose me for this, isn’t it? This whole, catch Ingrid up on Berk gossip task.” I can’t ignore the red cheeks and antsy stomach that come with thinking about Fuse and Aurelia and this morning, which still feels mostly fake. “Because I’m easy to make fun of. You know, you can bring humor to anyone with a little effort—”

“Dad?” She cuts me off, “he didn’t seem like he’d seen Mom in a while.”

“He hasn’t.”

“Yeah.” She nods, bandaged hand tucked beneath her good arm against her chest.

Someone knocks on the door and we both tense. She reaches for an imaginary axe on her shoulder with half a hand and I clench my fists. Whoever it is knocks again.

“Neutral third party messenger here bringing breakfast and about a ton of bandages.” I recognize Aurelia’s voice, strangled like she’s actually carrying something heavy.

“Coming!” I walk around the table and open the door. It’s more basket than Aurelia and she stumbles inside, handing them off to me as she goes. Ingrid shuts the door behind her and looks at me like she needs a cue to start talking. “Breakfast for twenty?”

“Mom loaded me up like a pack gronckle,” she huffs, as miffed as she used to get before things were weird and she looks at Ingrid like an afterthought. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Ingrid crosses her arms, “the other sister brings breakfast, I’m not measuring up yet.”

“The other sister?” I ask, stomach growling but not loud enough to get between Ingrid and food.

“You’ve only got two,” Aurelia explains like I’m stupid before looking at Ingrid, “I don’t think we’ve officially met.”

“This is a double meeting,” Ingrid offers her left hand and Aurelia shakes it without question, which is a mistake because Ingrid holds on tight, “you’re Arvid’s girlfriend too. It’s weird but efficient.”

“That’s one way to put it,” Aurelia yanks her hand away, rubbing her knuckles and looking at me out of the corner of her eye.

“Food?” I open the basket and take out a loaf of bread, offering it to both of them. They both stare at me for a moment before looking back at each other, engaged in something I don’t understand.

“Both getting Arvid to settle down and bringing Eret food in the morning,” Ingrid shakes her head, “it’s like you’re actually trying to take my place.”

“I’m bringing you food, not Eret,” Aurelia rolls her eyes, “Mom is forceful.”

That’s important. That it’s Mom, not your mom or our mom. Just Mom. Awkward as the rest of this but also just as significant.

Ingrid sits down in what used to be Rolf’s chair and starts digging through the food. I half expect Aurelia to leave, but I’m not that lucky because she sits down across from Ingrid and rests her chin on her hands. I know what she looks like, refusing to back down and wondering if it’s worth it, and Ingrid seems to find it interesting. Distracting like Fuse’s half a bomb.

“So. Aurelia. I get where you fit in. You have the same dad as my brother and you’re dating my other brother.”

“It’s not as weird as it sounds.”

“Yes it is,” I complain, wondering if Aurelia could handle this if I just left. I hate that the answer is yes, but also, I’m not leaving Ingrid with anyone who’s not bodyguard material.

“It’s not that weird.” Aurelia shrugs, “they aren’t so tight these days.”

“I heard that,” Ingrid mulls over a piece of bread that she would have shoved in her mouth all at once a few months ago. “But Eret and Thorston, huh?”

“Oh Gods, what did they do now?” Aurelia shakes her head, “I didn’t see Fuse leave but—”

“But it’s none of your business.” Maybe Ingrid wasn’t sleeping. That thought feels creepy, looking back, like they think I’d try and benefit from last night’s situation or something. And I mean, I guess I did, but I—what was I supposed to when Fuse Thorston was looking at me like that and telling me that she liked me? I’m not stupid enough to think that’d happen twice.

“He’s defensive,” Ingrid grins at me, smug and thankful and alive and I think about just telling her, because this isn’t the kind of secret I’ve ever kept from her.

“He’s clueless.”

“He is right here,” I huff, crossing my arms. I almost want to tell them the truth, just because it’d feel like winning. “And I’m not clueless—”

“About Fuse?” Aureila laughs, eyebrow quirked like she’s not scared to be mean to me for the first time in a long time. “Yes, you are.”

“I’m not.”

“Maybe he’s telling the truth,” Ingrid raises an eyebrow and my stomach drops, because that’s Mom’s caught face with all of Ingrid’s willingness to let me dig myself deeper. It’s the first time she’s really acted like herself since she’s been home and I sit down, pulling some bread out of the basket and eating half of it in one bite. “Maybe he’s got something to be defensive about.”

“I’m not defensive.” I look between them and try to imagine what Fuse would say in this situation. Except she wouldn’t be in this situation because she’s not an idiot and she doesn’t have evil sisters.

And Aurelia, well, Aurelia looks like she’s caught me, like we’re at that definitive point in maces and talons where I don’t know I’m out of moves. But Ingrid looks how she always used to when I was too small to win a fight or home when Arvid was out doing something exciting with a girl who wouldn’t look at me. She looks like she wants to help, like she’s the one person left in my family who doesn’t think I’m beyond a little mostly unsolicited advice.

“Fuse snores,” she rolls her eyes, “not that you don’t, but I know what my little brother’s snoring sounds like that that was far more impressive.”

“Fuse slept here?” Aurelia practically shouts and I wince.

“Do you want Mom to hear you and come kick my ass?”

“Oh come on, Mom would only kick your ass if you weren’t snoring.” Aurelia picks at the edge of the table.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” It takes me an embarrassingly long time and a pitying look from Ingrid to get it and I flush, “no! You are my sister, my younger sister even, you don’t come in here and imply—”

“I didn’t imply anything!” She holds her hands up.

“Yes, you did,” I cross my arms, ignoring the bemused expression on Ingrid’s face as she shakes her head at me, “and you shouldn’t even know anything about what you implied until you’re like forty, at least so—”

“Eret,” Ingrid reaches across the table with her good hand and touches my arm. “That sounds like a painful conversation.”

“This is all a painful conversation.” I take another bite and sigh. “And not that it’s any of your business,” I direct at Aurelia in particular, “but I’m not clueless.” It feels like everything will suddenly become real if I say it out loud and as much as I want that, it’s scary too. “I’m less clueless than either of you because last night, Fuse told me that she likes me.” They look at each other then back at me and I blink. “I thought that’d get more of a reaction but ok…”

“You think that makes you not clueless?” Aurelia laughs, “did you also know that the sky is blue?”

“What?”

“She told me months ago, dummy, as if she even needed to tell me it’s so obvious.” Aurelia looks at Ingrid for corroboration. “She looks at you like you’re the only thing she doesn’t occasionally think about blowing up.”

“Months?” I frown, “you knew for months and you didn’t tell me?”

“You said you weren’t clueless, it was obvious,” she rolls her eyes, “almost as obvious as all of your weird flirting and staring—”

“I never flirted with her.”

“Uh yeah, you did, all the time. You’d be in the forge like,” she flexes her arm and puts on a stupid sounding deeper voice that I guess is meant to be me, “Fuse, watch me lift this really heavy thing. Look at me flexing my muscles—”

“I don’t sound like that—”

“You kind of do,” Ingrid laughs, putting her fingers on her temple and sighing. Her bad hand is still under the table and I’m not sure if she’ll let me change the bandages later. “And Thor, you two talk fast.”

“I don’t sound like that.” I repeat, deflating slightly, “and I never flirted with her because I didn’t even—I mean, I only realized she was like…a girl a couple of weeks ago.”

“You didn’t realize she was a girl?” Aurelia deadpans, pressing her fingertips together, elbows on the table. “What did you think she was? A scale-less dragon?”

“That’s not what I mean, of course I knew she was a girl, but—but I just didn’t think of her like that, like someone to be nervous around or someone…” I struggle to find the right words and Ingrid nods at me, supportive and embarrassed for me in equal parts, “you know, think about as having…all the girl parts. I guess.”

“Girl parts?” Ingrid sighs. “You’re doing this to yourself.”

“Which parts are the girl parts, exactly?” Aurelia is surprisingly stony faced, like maybe I’m grossing her out the way she does me, which if that’s true, she should be embarrassed because it’s not like she’s related to Fuse or anything.

“You know, like—her being too pretty to talk to or…” I gesture in front of me and Ingrid nods like she’s getting it in spite of me talking, not because of. “And then she hugged me and all those parts were just…there, all of a sudden.”

“I’m pretty sure she had breasts even before she hugged you,” Aurelia says, almost authentically disappointed in me and Ingrid laughs.

She laughs hard enough and long enough that waiting for her to stop gives me enough time to start to parse through what Aurelia said and again, of course I knew that. Of course I knew that Fuse was a girl this whole time but I haven’t thought of it, of her, that way really aside from noticing the warm softness when she hugged me. But now I’m thinking about it, and it makes my stomach feel warm and weird even as I try to shut it down.

I think of how she looked in the forge the other night, thick wool shirt sticking to her sides from the heat and then all I noticed was that she’s smaller than I thought, but now I can’t help but think about how it would feel to touch her. To see her in something other than her typical long-sleeved thick wool. I was so excited about her lack of explosives filled vest that I didn’t even think about more. Or less.

“Oh Gods,” Ingrid wipes her eye with the back of her bandaged hand, wincing slightly and staring at it with a single, shuddery breath before diving back into making me miserable. “I never imagined two of you,” she points at me, “it’s exhausting. Poor Mom.”

“Poor mom?” I scoff, “how about poor me? This is sibling abuse.”

“Ok, ok.” She makes her face serious and sets both hands gingerly on the table. “But seriously. She likes you, you like her. Why so awkward?”

“Did you really just ask him why he’s awkward?” Aurelia laughs and Ingrid purses her lips like she wishes Aurelia would stop helping for even just a second.

“He’s my awkward,” she sets her hand on my arm and I can’t help but feel ten again and for once, feeling like a kid isn’t so bad. “I…” Ingrid glances at Aurelia before setting her chin and dropping her voice slightly, “I know what it’s like to not know why you feel how you feel about someone, ok? With Spitleaf,” she says the name like it hurts slightly and I want to tell her she doesn’t have to continue, but it’s Ingrid, and no one’s ever talked her out of anything, “I—we were friends and I didn’t know why that didn’t feel quite right. And then I realized it could be something different and…well, it changed everything.” She looks at her bandage, hand twitching like she’s trying to move fingers that aren’t there.

“Hey, nothing seems that different to me.” I pat the back of her hand on my arm and she sighs, “I mean, everything is, because I don’t live here and Mom’s married to the chief and well—this feels the same. I’m glad you’re home.”

“You’re so grown up,” she tugs at my hair and grins, “and who told you this was a good idea? There are still scissors on Berk, right?”

“Yeah, ok. Good talk.” I stand up and stretch, looking at Aurelia. “How’s everyone at home?”

“I think they’re hoping you’ll check in at some point,” she looks at Ingrid and back at me, asking the silent question if she should be alone.

“I’ll go do that now if you two want to tell embarrassing stories about me to each other without me interrupting.”

“You really do think the whole world revolves around you, don’t you?” Aurelia cocks her head and Ingrid snorts.

“Uh, I am future chief of Berk,” I cross my arms, “at least this island and the surrounding atolls definitely do.”

“I have naked toddler stories,” Ingrid offers and Aurelia grins.

“I’ll leave you two to it.”

I feel strange taking Bang, because it feels like a dragon should be standing guard, but when I walk outside I see Stormfly, curled in front of the door, staring out at the horizon. She squawks a greeting when she sees me and I scratch under her chin for a second before taking off. The flight seems longer than it should, but maybe that’s because I don’t know what I’m flying into and I don’t really have a reason to think it’ll be anything but agonizing. It feels like eons ago that everyone was fighting, that Dad was snapping at Mom and the chief was just…there like he had any right to be.

Bang lands in front of the chief’s house and snuffles my hand when I swing off and walk past his head. It makes sense to leave him outside, I think, just in case I need a quick getaway.

I pause outside for a second, half expecting a dose of the yelling that used to be so common. But it’s quiet, not silent, but quiet. I hear Stoick laugh, so it can’t be too bad.

I open the door and blink, trying to parse through what I’m seeing.

Arvid is holding Stoick under his arm and swinging the giggling kid around. Even Arvid looks halfway happy about it. The chief’s drinking a cup of tea in the corner and most shocking of all, Dad is sitting at the table across from Mom. It looks like they might be talking.

I clear my throat and Arvid almost drops Stoick, catching him upside down and fumbling to set him on the floor. Dad takes a second to meet my eyes but when he does, he looks uncharacteristically apologetic.

“Hey…everyone,” I shut the door behind me and Stoick runs over to hug my leg.

“Is Bang here? I have to show him something.”

“Uh yeah, bud, he’s outside.”

“I’ll be right back!” He nearly pushes me over on his way outside and when the door shuts behind him, it’s almost stiflingly quiet.

“How is she?” Mom speaks first, frowning and looking older than I think I’ve ever seen her.

“I—She seems better today but—” But it’s not going to be something that heals overnight. It’s not a small deal. It’s big enough to bring this group of people into the same room and somehow, I’m the one closest to understanding it. “But still shaky. It’s a lot.”

“It’s Ingrid,” Dad says to Mom and it’s hard to look at them, to see them sitting across from each other like it’s a year ago and they’re happy or pretending to be. “She just needs some time.”

Mom nods and rests her head on her hand. The chief takes a step towards them then hesitates, looking at me like…like he wants an opinion, almost. I shrug. He stays where he is for a second before walking the rest of the way to Mom and resting his hand on her shoulder.

“We’ll get her to see a healer today if I have to personally haul one to your house.” The chief addresses my Dad.

No one punches anyone else.

“It’s clean,” I re-iterate, specifically to Mom. “She let me clean it yesterday and the bandages are still clean this morning.”

“It’s Ingrid,” Mom nods to herself. “Why’d it have to be Ingrid?” I don’t think she means anyone to answer but Dad does anyway.

“Because she’s the one tough enough to get through it.”

The chief nods. Like Dad’s right. Arvid’s just standing there, out of place but not hostile and I think I’d rather talk about Fuse’s body parts with my sister than stand here another minute.

00000

“Careful,” I hold a branch out of Ingrid’s way on the overgrown path from my old house to the village. “I should really come through here and clear it out, this is ridiculous.”

“Eret—”

“Hey, watch out, I think I see a wasp nest in that tree up there, let me get on that side of you—”

“Eret—”

“We should have flown, I could have stayed low—”

“Eret!” She punches me with her left hand and if I didn’t see her do it, I’d swear it was a war hammer. I yelp, holding my arm and glaring at her.

“What was that for?”

“Stop,” she shakes her head at me, “there’s no wasp nest, the branches are not coming to get me, I wanted to walk because I’ve been cooped up for the better part of a week. If you can’t chill out, you can’t come with me, ok?”

“As future chief, I don’t think you can technically give me orders.” I take a step back when she raises her fist again.

“I’m your big sister, I don’t care if you’re king of the world.”

“Fair enough.”

“Good,” she nods and starts walking again, fast enough that I have to jog to catch up. “Just be…cool, alright?” She looks both stubborn and nervous, jaw set forward at a hard angle. She’s let me change her bandages every day but hasn’t let anyone else see it yet. Half of me going into the village with her today is I’m hoping to try Gobber.

That should get Mom to calm down, Gobber took care of the chief’s leg and well, has personal experience with the topic at hand.

Gods, that’s bad. Spending so much time with Ingrid and mostly only Ingrid is ruining my sense of humor.

She’s got her axe strapped on her back and that makes her look almost normal. The set of her shoulders is right, if stiff, like she’s pretending to be confident where before she always just was. Still, it’s a huge improvement from a few days ago and she hasn’t cried since the second time I changed her bandage. Even that was different though, accepting, grieving kind of. I almost want to ask the chief to talk to her about it, but I’m not sure how that would go over with Dad.

Dad spent the last two nights at the house in his and Mom’s old bedroom and Ingrid seemed to appreciate the silent company, but it’s been driving me out of my mind. He won’t look me in the eye unless he’s asking about Ingrid and even then it’s quick and stiff and awkward. I keep thinking about just hugging him and seeing what he’d do, if he’d shove me off or not. It might be worse if he just stood there, stiff and awkward, like he doesn’t even have an opinion about it anymore.

I wonder if Arvid told him about our fight. Probably not, but it could have gotten back to him some other way.

“Is anyone working at the forge?” Ingrid reaches back with her bandaged hand to touch the handle of her axe. I don’t know how she’d draw it with only half her grip and she seems to realize the same thing, her face hardening slightly as she tries to clench a fist that’s only part there. She’s going to have to relearn how to fight and that’s going to drive her crazy.

“Yeah, Smitelout is,” I shrug, kicking a rock out of the path, “and it’s not going horribly, to be honest.”

“You’re so enthusiastic.”

“I apprenticed for eight years and Smitelout came in and replaced me,” I laugh, “you can’t imagine the emotional pain of seeing Gobber move on to someone new to yell at.”

“Sounds like a really tough breakup,” she doesn’t laugh though, just walks a little faster like she’s actually trying to ditch her dorky little brother. “You don’t have to come with me, you know, I’m sure you have something else to do.”

“Eh, not really,” I shrug, “nothing that’s going to fall apart if I don’t touch it for a day, anyway.”

“It’s Mom that put you on guard duty, isn’t it?” She looks at me like she already knows the answer.

“No one put me on guard duty. It’s not guard duty, I can’t want to spend time with my sister I haven’t seen in months?”

“You tried to protect me from a wasp nest.”

“Who wants to get stung by wasps? I think that’s kind of a universally hated experience—”

“It’s Berk, what do you think is going to happen to me here?” She sighs and it’s the first time I think I’ve ever heard her sound so bitter. “I’m less marriage-able than ever, it’s probably the safest I’ve ever been in my life. The fucking chief is my new step-dad. I don’t need my little brother to play bodyguard, alright?”

“I’m not worried about anything happening to you,” I’m sure she’s going to punch me again but I continue anyway, “I’m worried you’re going to get upset again when you’re alone. Or around people who won’t get it, or—”

“No one gets it.” She snaps, and I should have thought this out better, because we’re in town now, passing houses on either side of the path. A terror skitters across in front of us, chasing something and Ingrid pauses, exhaling like she’s stunned by the crowd in the main square.

I’m not sure I’d really call it a crowd, maybe only thirty people are walking around and going about their business, but I guess after the last few months she’s had, it might look like more. She heads straight to the forge first, reaching up with both of her hands and fumbling the axe over her shoulder. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her that clumsy with an axe, not even when she was eight and she stole Mom’s and took down the sapling in the front yard.

She drops the axe on the windowsill and Smitelout swears, jumping and dropping her hammer on her anvil with a clang.

“What the Hel?” She turns around, crossing her arms, “of course it’s Hofferson. Who else would appear from nowhere just to scare the thor-loving shit out of me?”

“I don’t really have time to spell that list out for you,” Ingrid scoffs, sliding her axe closer and pointing at the blade with her bandaged hand, like she forgot to hide it. “I need—”

“Just about everything,” Smitelout whistles under her breath and I’m ready to jump down her throat the second she looks at Ingrid’s hand funny. It takes her a moment to notice what’s weird and she pauses, face pale for a second before she picks up the axe. “It’s out of whack, the blade’s filthy with what I’m pretty sure is a fuckton of blood, it’s dull as a rock. The handle’s about three good hits away from splintering—”

“Eret says it’s your job to fix it now so…”

“I can see he fixed it last time by how fucked up this sharpening job is,” she looks at me, not as smug as usual and…and well, things keep getting weirder, because she seems to be handling this better than pretty much any member of our families.

“No, that was some asshole masquerading as a blacksmith down on the mainland,” Ingrid sighs, “I should have known it was going to be a hack job the second he started banging on the thing.”

“Maybe Eret can get a lesson from him.” Smitelout swings Ingrid’s axe slowly like she’s testing the balance. “It did look a little clean for your work.”

“Some things never change,” Ingrid rolls her eyes, just now pausing and remembering to hide her bandaged hand under the edge of the counter. Smitelout sees her do it but doesn’t say anything.

“Also, do you know where Gobber is?” I ask and Smitelout shrugs.

“He doesn’t need to babysit me, twerp.”

“He’s the future chief,” Ingrid buts back in, a hint of that old Thawfest season venom in her voice. “It’s Mr. Twerp to you.”

“That’s so helpful, both of you, really.” I scratch the side of my head, “no ideas on Gobber?”

“Nope,” Smitelout sets Ingrid’s axe down and looks at her for a second, “normally, you know, I’d give you our customary farewell salute,” she holds up a half committed rude hand gesture and I regret not being close enough to throttle her immediately, “but that doesn’t seem super fair so…”

Ingrid stares at her for a second and then snorts.

“Fair’s never really been your thing, no point in starting now.” She pushes away from the counter, “I’ll pay when it’s fixed.”

“It’s not going to be cheap,” Smitelout shakes her head and Ingrid starts walking backwards with a shrug.

“Whatever, I think I’ve got chief money now.” She brags, punching me in the shoulder again and turning around to walk off. I fall in step beside her, huffing slightly and looking back at the forge.

“You don’t have to let her talk to you that way.”

“It’s Smitelout,” she scoffs, “why would I care about her being an asshole? At least she didn’t try to protect me from a tree branch.”

“I was just—”

“I know what you were doing and you can stop now.” She nods, “I’m good. Why are you looking for Gobber?”

“Well, if I can stop being nice to you, I want you to let him look at your hand because Mom won’t stop nagging me about getting you medical help and I figure she might listen to Gobber.”

“Ok,” she nods, “Gobber is ok.”

“Why is Gobber suddenly ok?”

“Where could he be?” She cuts between some houses to avoid some of the crowd, making her way up the hill towards the great hall with long-legged strides that I didn’t used to be able to keep up with. She’s officially shorter than me, but it doesn’t seem like something I should point out, even if she thinks she feels fine.

“I don’t know, home maybe?”

She turns a corner and stops so short I almost run into her back. Spitleaf is ahead, with Ruffnut, and Ingrid grabs my arm, pulling me back around the corner where they can’t see us. She swears and leans back against the wall, closing her eyes.

“What’s going on?”

“Be quiet,” she urges, pulling me back into the alley that we came from. She drops my arm just as my fingers are starting to go numb and I rub my wrist, looking back over my shoulder to see if anyone followed.

“Why didn’t you want Spitleaf to see you?”

“Because I didn’t.” She snaps, grumbling under her breath and taking another shortcut that seems intentional.

“Ingrid—”

“Because I asked for space, ok?” She stops and tugs on the end of her braid with her good hand looking like Mom when Arvid and I would drive her to want to actually pull her hair out. “It isn’t space if I’m the one walking by her.”

“Wait,” I step in front of her when I catch up and she looks at me like she doesn’t quite see me for a wild second. Like she’s seeing someone else. Someone that makes her scared and angry and terrifying in a way she’s never aimed at me. I take a step back. “Hey, whoa—”

“Because she left, Eret.” Ingrid’s voice is a raw, tiny whisper, “because when it came down to it, she left. And I know she had to, I know she had to get the dragon out of there and she wouldn’t have been able to come back for me if she was dead. But she left.”

“Ingrid, I’m so sorry—”

“And now I can’t look at her without being…without being back there and—how do you forgive someone for something like that? Something that isn’t their fault and—it was my fault, I know it was, I should have just kept it clean and quick and…” She looks at her bandaged hand and swallows hard. “It was my fault but she wasn’t even mad about it. She just kept saying sorry, sorry, sorry and I know she had to leave but I can’t figure out how it’s ok that she did.”

I have no idea what to say to that. Something tells me that touching her would be a bad idea so I just stand there, staring at her slow heaving shoulders, the panicked red of her cheeks.

“You should talk to Mom.” I take a step towards her, hand outstretched like she’s a frightened dragon and if I can just get her to come to me, everything will be ok. “Or Dad or the chief or…Hel, Gobber.”

“No,” she shakes her head, swallowing hard and trying to force her expression normal. “No one can know, I—if anyone knows they’ll go out there after them—”

“And maybe someone should—”

“Don’t even think about it,” her voice shakes, “I shouldn’t have told you. I knew I shouldn’t have told you.” She stalks off back towards home without another word and it feels wrong not to follow her, but I don’t know what to say so I just stand there, watching her weave back through the crowd and into the woods.

#eret iii #festerverse #tw assault #ingrid hofferson #aurelia haddock #smitelout jorgenson

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wanderinguterus1 · 3 years

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Plan C

Three days after finishing the medication, I lay naked from the waist down on the paper sheet - legs in stirrups and cold, metal wand moving around in my uterus - looking at the ultrasound screen.

“Well, your body likes the Clomid. I see the eggs… see them, right there?”

I didn’t really need to see my eggs; I just wanted confirmation the medication worked. I would happily take the doctor’s word for it if he would take that wand out of me and let me put my pants back on. I nodded, and the nurse smiled at me.

“You could be getting knocked up today!” she laughed.

I attempted a chuckle. The cruel thing about Clomid is the side effects: it makes you more fertile by increasing the hormones needed to create a “mature egg,” but the side effects include irritation, aggression, and moodiness - all which make for great foreplay, naturally.

A few minutes later, I was standing, pants down again, while the same nurse stuck a needle in my right butt cheek.

“All done!” she exclaimed. She looked and sounded around twenty-five years old; she was about a foot shorter than me, but muscular – like she may have been a gymnast in the past. Compared to her, I felt huge and old, like a giant grandmother. “Now it’s time for the fun part! After this, I hope we will never see you again!”

“Thank you,” I said, smiling, her enthusiasm rubbing off on me a little.

The enthusiasm lasted six days, until I woke up one morning to a slight twinge in my abdomen: the same feeling I had been having once a month, for about twenty-six years.

“I’m starting my period,” I said to Luis.

“Really?” he said, rolling over to look me in the eyes.

At six years younger than me, Luis never seemed too devastated over a failed baby-making attempt. Rather, he would say things like, “I’m sorry,” and “Are you ok?” I hated this response. I wanted him to share my anger: to leave the room and slam the door, punch a wall, refuse to talk to me for the rest of the day. At least then I could feel justified in my own rage.

He tried to hug me, but I quickly got out of bed and started getting dressed for work.

The next week, I was back at the doctor’s office.

“I don’t know what’s wrong. I’ve been taking folic acid, I haven’t had coffee or alcohol in months, I do yoga, I’ve spent a fortune on acupuncture, and I even tried visualization exercises! Why isn’t anything working?”

I knew the answer, even though the doctor was nice enough not to say it. “You’re too old to have a baby” – the unspoken words hung in the air.

He passed me a tissue. “We can try Clomid again; sometimes it takes more than once,” he responded patiently. I didn’t tell him that I had already tried Clomid twice last year, with my first fertility doctor.

I noticed a picture of his family in a gold frame sitting on his desk. He and his wife stood in front of a sign for Yellowstone National Park, each with a blonde child on their hip. One boy and one girl. I tried to suppress my jealousy, but their family looked so perfect. I reminded myself that to a man sitting in prison for a crime he didn’t commit, my life looked perfect too. I often played these mind games, trying to convince myself to be happier. Hey, you could be addicted to drugs and living under a bridge. So you can’t have a kid, big deal.

“Let me prescribe another round of Clomid. First, I am going to need you to pee for me.”

While I waited for Dr. Edwards to return, I scrolled through Facebook. As usual, one of the posts was a picture of a newborn. It belonged to a former student, and the caption read: “The best thing I ever did.” I scrolled past quickly, without liking, remembering ten years ago when I was her English teacher. She used to eat lunch in my room and tell me about the drama in her friend group: “Katie’s mad at Olivia because Olivia’s boyfriend was rude to her. Olivia wouldn’t say anything to him about it, so now they’re not talking. It’s crazy.”

Soon, that same girl would be wrapping her newborn in one of those soft blue and white striped blankets, learning to change diapers, snapping the little buttons together at the bottom of a onesie, and figuring out how car seat straps work. I closed my phone and looked around the room. A poster about in vitro fertilization hung on the back of the door. Unsurprisingly, the poster neglected to advertise the cost. As if that wasn’t a factor.

Dr. Edwards walked through the door with a pregnancy test in his hand and a smirk on his face. “Shelly, you’re pregnant.”

“What?”

He showed me the two red lines. “Yeah, look for yourself. These are bold lines.”

“I can’t be. I’m on my period.”

“Sometimes women bleed in the beginning of a pregnancy. Come back on Monday and we’ll see if your hCG levels go up.”

At home, I told my husband tentatively, “I got a positive pregnancy test at the doctor’s office today, but I really don’t understand how. I’ve been bleeding for the past week.”

Luis enveloped me in a hug but knew better than to get excited. “Well, let’s hope for some kind of miracle.”

A miracle did not occur. On Monday, the test showed my hCG levels had decreased, proving that the pregnancy didn’t “stick.” I learned that this was called a chemical pregnancy – a “miscarriage” shortly after implantation - and I would go on to have two more.

After the emotional roller coaster ride of three very short-lived pregnancies, I finally convinced Luis to do foster care classes.

We had heard many pieces of advice about this: “Just adopt through the foster system; it’s free.”

“My sister got a baby as soon as she signed up to be a foster mom.”

“As soon as you adopt and stop trying, that’s when you’ll get pregnant naturally.”

Although Luis was hesitant, he agreed to try - after I promised him we would only accept babies who were up for adoption (I had formerly convinced myself that was an actual think you could do).

Our classes require us to log into Zoom on Tuesday and Thursday nights for six weeks to listen to lectures from health care providers, social workers, and criminal investigators. Our teacher is an animated, African-American lesbian named Clensy who calls us her babies and reminds us every step of the way that she would “tell it like it is” - no sugarcoating in her classes.

The first lecture starts with this admonition: “Do not go into this if your plan is to adopt. Our number one goal is reunification with the biological family. This is not an adoption agency. To foster means to care for temporarily! Say it with me, babies! Tem- por- ar- y!”

I nod at the computer screen, as if this is no surprise, but feel Luis exhale.

After class, his first question is, “Why are we doing this if the goal is reunification?”

“Well, they say that, of course, but lots of people have adopted this way,” I close my laptop and start walking towards our bedroom. It’s late and I have school the next day. Besides, I’m not interested in this conversation.

Luis follows me, “This seems like a lot of work - meetings with biological parents, meetings with social workers, therapy appointments - do we even have time for this?”

I retrieve pajamas from my dresser and make my way towards the bathroom. “I am tired of waiting, Luis. I’m 42. I want to feel like we are getting somewhere. Even if we never foster, at least we are doing something. I’m tired of waiting around for a pregnancy that will probably never happen.”

Before getting married, if I decided I wanted to change my life in some big way, the only person I had to consult was myself (and my bank account). When I got sick of a job, I quit. When I was offered a new position, I weighed the pros and cons. When I decided to move abroad, I had to be brave enough to get on the plane, but I didn’t have to ask anyone’s permission. Marriage, however, means no more autonomy; even if it’s something I have desperately wanted for a long time, I have to consult Luis. And sometimes, there is no compromise. We can’t foster half of a child.

Despite many similar-sounding arguments, Luis agrees to finish the course. His decision has everything to do with how much he loves me and nothing to do with actually wanting to foster. I realize that his reluctance poses a real problem, but the idea that we are moving in the direction of becoming a family of three is enough for now. Future Me could deal with the ramifications of dragging Luis - kicking and screaming - through this process.

The next night, we learn how to detect child abuse.

Clensy warns us, “Ok, tonight’s going to be hard. You are going to have to look at some pictures of kids who have been hurt by adults.

She shares her screen with us, and the first picture that pops up is of a baby - a baby - with three dark blue lines across his little face.

“This child has been slapped. Hard. The lines you are seeing is from an adult hand.”

I looked away, feeling that familiar anger towards God creeping in again. This is why I don’t believe that “everything happens for a reason.”

The next picture is of a child who has been burned with a cigarette. I put myself on mute and ask Luis, “Why do we need to see these?”

He shrugs, as if he doesn’t know why we are doing any of this.

A social worker named Nora sat across from me and Luis in our living room. After 40 hours of foster care classes, she had come to inspect our house – to make sure we had a fire extinguisher and smoke alarms, that all alcohol and medications were locked up, that we owned a first aid kit, and that we didn’t live within a certain radius of an ungated body of water.

“Ok, we just need to go through some of this paperwork now,” she said, after taking pictures of every room in the house. She looked about 40 and was dressed surprisingly unprofessional, in sweatpants, a hoodie, and sneakers. “First, I will ask you about possible placements. You have to answer ‘yes, no, or will consider.’”

She opened her spiral notebook, licked her pointer finger and located the right page.

“Fire starter?”

I looked at Luis, trying to make this situation as normal as possible. His eyes, however, said, “Why would anyone say yes to housing a fire starter?”

I answered gently, “Probably not.” Besides, we had asked for a child under the age of two. The image of a two-year-old fire starter frightened me.

“What about an opioid addict?” Nora inquired, as if she were asking us what kind of haircut we preferred.

Luis said nothing.

“Um, does that mean a baby who is born addicted?” I asked, trying to appear unfazed.

“Yes, usually. There are some situations where the parent has been injecting the child even after birth, but that’s not as common.”

I looked at Luis, who again, said nothing.

“No?” I asked.

He shrugged, as if to say, “This was your idea, not mine.” I hoped Nora couldn’t read his thoughts.

I shook my head, and Nora continued. “Ok, what about a child who is destructive to property?”

I wanted to say no to all of these, but I sensed that every “no” lessened our chances of getting a call. As if wanting a “normal” kid precluded us from being good people.

“Destructive to animals?” Nora didn’t even look up from the paper, as if this was something we could answer quickly, without contemplation.

I felt the need to say yes to something. “Well, we don’t have any pets,” I offered.

“You have to think about your neighbors’ pets,” Nora warned.

“Oh, so… no.”

Luis still hadn’t spoken. I wanted to shake him and say, “Please, at least pretend like you want to do this.” I wasn’t even considering if this was something I could do – what in the world would I say to a kid who went around the neighborhood looking for animals to hurt?

After finishing the list of possible placements, Nora passed us a business card which read: Thompson and Gaines, Family Attorneys. “Keep this in case you need legal representation.”

The confused look on my face prompted further explanation: “Just in case a child accuses you of anything. Sometimes a child might be upset about being taken from their home, and they might make allegations of abuse against you. Sometimes the bio parent might see a bruise on their child and make an allegation. We often deal with desperate people. The best thing to do is just take a picture if your child gets injured. Send the picture to us, so we’re aware of the situation.”

After Nora’s departure, I retreat to our room and collapse into bed. Staring at the ceiling, I wonder what it would be like to take care of a severely traumatized kid. To actually have to defend myself in court - prove I’m not a child abuser.

Luis joins me, neither of us speaking for a few minutes.“Are we trying to hard to make something happen that just isn’t in the cards for us?” I ask.

He took my hand; we stare at the ceiling fan as it moves in circles.“I don’t know,” he finally says. “Life is just so strange. There are people getting exactly what we want so badly, but railing at God over it. I bet right now, there’s probably a teenager crying over a positive pregnancy test.”

“Someone’s probably dropping off a baby at the fire department as we speak.”

“And some woman’s losing her mind because she just found out she’s having twins.”

“Some guy’s getting snipped because he hates his children and doesn’t want to risk having more.”

Somehow, thinking of these scenarios bring us comfort, and we laugh together, for the first time in weeks.

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pacegerld1989 · 4 years

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