#ok its 1 in the morning and i have 2 go to a doctors appointment at 7am so. im going to be hope this ramble wasnt that incoherent

[kellykidd]

Baby Severide - Chapter 1: Growing an Entire Human

*Gif belongs to its rightful owner, it is not mine*

Pairing: Kelly Severide x Reader Summary: When Kelly accompanies you to an OB appointment, the doctor brings some unexpected news.

Words: 1,569

Warnings: Doctors appointments, not great writing

Read on Ao3 here

Notes: The first chapter of a few. The entire fic isn’t quite done yet. Honestly, I wrote this for me, so if you like it, great, let me know. If not, great too, just don’t tell me. Medical info and such may not be right, sorry :) tagging some friends and mutuals as to celebrate my return to writing

Next Chapters: Chapter 2

Tags: @morganupstead @district447 @mustprotectmattcaseyatallcosts

——

“Hey babe, you home?” Kelly called for you as he opened the apartment door.

“Hey I’m here,” you sighed as you chuckled softly.

“How are my two favourite girls doing?” He asked, setting his duffel bag on the floor before coming to snuggle up with you on the couch. 

“We’re ok, feeling like a beached whale though, baby.” 

“We are in the home stretch. Take it easy these last few weeks.”

“Oh we’re taking it easy all right. I sat on this couch all day and did nothing, but watch The Bachelor,” you laughed, “how was shift?”

“A car wreck, nothing major. Then I came home early for you,” he leaned over and gave you a peck on the lips before getting up from the couch.

“Where are you going?” You gave Kelly your best puppy dog eyes.

“Well I thought I was going to shower,” he chuckled.

“Can you get me some water and a snack?” 

“What about water and some breakfast?”

“Oh, the baby could really use some of your bacon and french toast.”

“You sit here, I’ll make us some french toast.”

“Don’t forget the bacon,” you teased as he went to the kitchen to start preparing your feast.

—

“Breakfast on the couch or the table?” Kelly called, plates clanging in the background.

“How about from our bed?” You laughed back, “I’ve had a long day.”

“You’re growing an entire human, that’s a long enough day as it is without you having to work from home too,” he brought the plates to your night stands and came back for you. 

You got up from the couch with his help and started to waddle over to the bed. 

“Hopefully only another few hours of working from home,” you sighed, getting under the quilt your mom made you as a wedding gift. 

“Heard from the doctor yet?” He asked, sliding into the bed with a coffee in his hand. 

“Called this morning. She got a cancellation for this afternoon at 3 to do another ultrasound and checkup so I don’t have go by myself,” you replied, digging into your stack of french toast. 

“Our daughter is the luckiest,” he leaned down to kiss your belly. 

“With your as her daddy, I have no doubt,” you moved your plate to your night stand and rested your head on his shoulder. 

“As of now, I’ll only be away for one more shift before she’s born.”

“How long is Boden giving you for paternity leave?”

“I’m only going to take six weeks. Then I’m gonna use up some furlough, so I’ll be off with you for about eight weeks.”

“I thought you had more time saved up.”

“I get 12 weeks every two years. If we have more kids, I want to have the time to be off both times, baby.”

“I don’t know if I want them that close together though,” you laughed. 

“Never know. We didn’t expect this one.”

“That’s true I guess. Hey, what time is it?”

“1:28, why?”

“I have a call at 1:30.”

“What do you need for it?”

“Just my laptop and AirPods.”

“I’ll grab them for you quick.”

He walked across the bedroom to the desk and brought you your things to start your call. He wondered out of the room so you could present in peace. 

Kelly walked back into your bedroom near the end of your call. You were just saying goodbye to some coworkers since your maternity leave officially started as soon as your call was finished. You closed your laptop and put it to the side.

“Ready to go?” He asked.

“One thing first,” you smiled.

“Which is…?”

“Can you tie my shoes please?” You laughed.

“Of course, but let’s get going. I haven’t seen the baby in a couple months.”

“I know, I know, my shoes are on the floor by the door.”

“Let’s get you up then, we’ve got to go.”

—

As you pulled up to the doctor’s office, a flutter of excitement filled your heart. Walking into the office, you always dreaded that the OB’s office was on the second floor. You had a seat and waited your turn. Kelly always made sure you were there early after all. 

“Mrs Severide?” A nurse called.

You stood up and Kelly held your hand into the exam room. 

“There’s a gown on the bed with a blanket. Please put the gown on, the doctor will be in soon,” 

“Thank you,” Kelly smiled.

The nurse left the room and you stood by the bed. Kelly sitting in the chair by your side. You started to change and your husband tied the sides of your gown together for you. He helped you onto the bed, draping the blanket over your legs and belly.

There was a knock on the door, “Hi, it’s Dr Calhoun.”

“Come in,” you answered.

Dr. Calhoun closed the door behind her as she came into the exam room. 

“How are the parents-to-be feeling today?” She asked.

“A little wobbly, but happy to finally be on maternity leave,” you laughed.

“And how are you feeling, Kelly?” 

“A little nervous, but excited,” he replied.

“Any concerns with the pregnancy since we last saw you? From either of you?” Dr Calhoun asked, pulling up your chart on the computer.

“Nothing that I’ve noticed. Just really tired,” you replied.

“That is to be expected, you’re in the home stretch.”

“Kelly said the same thing,” you laughed, “it does help my case of getting him to cook for me when he’s not on shift though.”

“Sounds like you’re doing well then,” she laughed, “let’s take a look at this baby girl.”

She pulled the ultrasound wand and gel out. Kelly held your hand.

“It’s gonna be a little cold, I’m sorry,” she announced. 

She squirted the gel onto your belly and flicked the machine on. Swirling the wand around your belly, she turned the screen so you could see the image.

“She’s bigger than the last time I’ve seen her,” Kelly laughed, kissing your hand. 

“She has grown a lot in the last month or two,” you smiled, “how’s she looking?”

“Active and growing well. Do you mind if I ask you guys something?” Dr Calhoun asked.

“Sure, is something wrong?” Kelly asked.

“Not at all. How big were you both when you were born?” She replied.

“I believe I was just under seven pounds, and I think Kelly’s mom said he was over 9 pounds. Why?” You replied.

“Your daughter is measuring larger than what we had originally thought. Almost nine and a half pounds. I’m worried about the risk of shoulder dystocia, and I’m thinking it may be easier on you and your baby if you opted for a c-section in the next week or two. A c-section isn’t an easier way out though and the recovery may be difficult.”

“But I’m only 36 weeks, shouldn’t we let her mature a little more?”

“Given her size already, she should be okay to deliver even tomorrow.”

“Kelly still has another shift left before he’s on leave. I don’t think I’m-“ you were starting to shift around on the bed.

“Babe, I’ll take some more furlough. It’ll be okay. Let’s just focus on you and the baby right now,” Kelly stroked your hair, “we’ll be okay.”

“Your baby has grown very well. I am not as worried about her progression as I am about your ability to recover and your baby’s risk of complications. I’ll give you a minute,” Dr Calhoun replied, walking towards the door, “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

She closed the door behind her and tears filled your eyes. 

“What do you think we should do?” Kelly asked.

“If the doctor thinks this is what’s best, I think we should do it,” you wiped the tears from your eyes. 

“I’m sorry I make such big babies,” he laughed, rubbing your belly.

“Just means we get to meet her sooner. I think we should do this.” 

“When do you want to schedule it?”

“After your next shift. Make sure you don’t have to take any more time off.”

“I would happily take more time off for you and our little girl.”

“Thank you,” your eyes started to swell with tears of joy. 

“Knock knock,” Dr Calhoun said, entering the exam room, “have you made a decision or would you like more time?”

“I think we’ve made a decision,” you smiled, “let’s do this as soon as possible.”

“Okay, I’ll leave some paperwork with the nurse at the desk. She’ll get you booked in and give you some instructions. See you both soon. Rest up. Oh and, as always, give us a call if something happens or if you have questions.”

“Thank you Doctor Calhoun.”

Dr Calhoun left the exam room and Kelly helped you change. You made your way to the front desk and booked your c-section. Saturday at 11:30am. Two days away.

Leaving the office, you felt excited. As Kelly started to drive you home, you noticed he seemed excited, but nervous.

“Hey, do you want to stop by 51 on our way home?” You asked, “to tell them the news?”

“Do you mind?” 

“Not at all. Then it gives you a chance to talk to Boden.”

Kelly made a u-turn back in the direction of the firehouse. You were only a few minutes away. He smiled from ear to ear as you pulled up. 

#Kelly Severide #Kelly Severide fic #Kelly Severide x reader #Kelly Severide x you #Chicago fire #Chicago fire fic #Chicago fire reader #One Chicago #one Chicago fic #Baby Severide fic

[missorigamimk]

'' I don't mind suffering,as long you're next to me''

Warnings ; Fictional, NIjiro Imagine , Blood, Ilnness, Cancer,Fluff,Sexual Content,Consentual, Drama, Fictional Phone Numbers&Email Contacts!!!

1. the START

Good Morning.

You have called Dr. Love Dr. Shuntaro For appointments & therapy sessions; Mon-Friday- 08:00 - 14:00 & 17:00-21:00

Emergency Phone : [phone]

Contact : [email protected]

Central Tokyo Clinic Office ; info@ctjpnshuntaro

That's the voice mail of his Professional Number...One of the most Known Doctors in Japan.

One of the Best Therapy Doctor in Tumours , Cancer etc

Monday , June 12th 2020

08:16 pm

It was such a chilling morning , the dawn was so beautifull but also cold! The mist was around the atmospere and my bedroom was so wet and not cozy at all. But as i was warm inside my warm bed and pillow i was refusing to get up. But I had to. I had to get up in order to have my medical examinations result.

Three days ago i had a test done because i had something like a little ball inside my right chest and that was excactly was scared of. Cancer. It was small though, but at the same time it freaked out.

I got up in a hurry, i made a hot cup of coffee , having some quick snack , made my hair little messy but cute , i put some light make up and wore almost every wool coat on me. I grabbed my car keys and off the door.

I made it to the Clinic that i was 72 hours before.

It was a little crowded , some patients waiting for their check up, others were crying , i suppose that broke my heart. Bad results sad news .Oh God. I am just 40 years old. !!! I don't wanna die from that damn illness ! Not Yet ! I walked at the Front Desk , like i was already...dead

"Goodmorning"

"Good morning . How can I help you" ?

" I...I am here -- I just had some check ups 3 days ago and i came to give me the results...its for..-

" Yeah, I'llsee your Medical Records here. Are they for X-Rays ?

"yeah..."

"Gimme your name please"

" It's Dion Bone"

She did just 4-5 seconds to find my File from this Data base but seemed to me like a century.

"Ok. Here you are. Let me print this 4 you. I'll need your Insurance Number . OK"

"Sure."

"Have you got any other treatments before, or have you been checked up in other Clinics'?

"ahhh Nope i haven't..."

"Ok. Don't worry. Our team has the best Doctors here. "

"If you say so..."

"Alright. She sighs. Here it is. "

She gave me a large yellow folder with all papers in it, and some white Page with a list of Doctors i could visit and have my therapy.

"So, you're done from here. You can go to the Doctors office to see your exams?"

"Yeah"

"Dr. Shuntaro is On Duty today. His office is at your right hand at the end of the Hall. : OK?

" Great...thank you"

" Have a nice day, and please....stay calm. She winked.

Panic and stress is never good for whatever..."

"I'll try" I replied and i grab my staff heading through the big problem that was in front of me and my health.

My steps was like a zombies....slow,stiff and almost ready to collapse. I had already pulpitations .

His door was in front of me and i couldn't - just didn't want to knock it. I stood there for about 2 min without doing a move forward or backwards.... I was ready to go , suddenly his voice heard behind the close door.

" OK. Mrs Tale. Have a good morning. I'll see you next week"

I run to hide behind a thick wall , sneaking looks in his door.

I was acting like idiot , as if he was the Satan himself.

What i was affraid of? Any given result, bad or not , i had to know.

He opened the white heavy door and his voice was closer.

"Bye! Don't forget your medicine dear!"

He came out walking to the front desk .

"Hey What's Up Macy?"

"Hey Dr. How are you doing?"

"Not bad. I just wanna some coffee in my veins! I didn't had anything yet. I woke up very fast today ... i feel like sleepy!"

"A-ha Chishiya , you must have some days off you know!"

Yes! Take some days off will ya ! Gimme a break !"

I thought while i was already walking through the back exit.

I heard his footsteps coming my way.

"Can I help you."?

"SHIT!" He saw me...

I looked back as i turned and i saw him.

Dr. Shuntaro himself.

I felt more stressed than i was before. Almost frozen

I-I...."Actually...Ye-Yes"

"I'm Dion Bone. I just had some exams and i want you to see these"

"Sure. Please, come inside" he said pointing his office entrance

He made a small step to enter but he stopped and turned to my face

"Oh. Sorry for being so rude. Would you like some coffee"?

" Aahhh... ok"

"Macyyy!! Can you please get some coffee for Dion"?

"Sure!" She yelled.

"He smiled . Alrighty. Please....( hand gesture welcoming to his office)

He placed his coffee on his desk , he sat down , comfortably at his white leather chair.

"So, What exams are they?

I handed him the large envelope and he opened it carefully with his delicate hands.

"Hhmmm . X-Rays"

"Breast Cancer X-Rays"...

He was looking at them without talking much , he was fully concetrate on this.

In all this time , i was just sitting there, frozen,scared and panicking.

"Miss. Bone. Your exams are not so bad. There is indeed a tumour in your right breast but as i can see it's curable. Oh yeah, let me check an....- yes it is. If you start your therapy right now it's absolutely curable. So, you don't have to afraid."

" Are you sure Dr.? I am - I am ... a tear started to make an appearance....40 years old and I don-

"You are not going to. Do you hear me? You're going to be Fine!"

"Come here. He pushed the paper closer so i can also see

"Do you see this?" He pointed with his index finger some area from the X , i swear i could't understand a single thing but he was a doctor so i guess i should show some trust!

" Your tumour is here. It's 0.2 inch , which means it;s not have growing yet' We can easily make it ...gone !:

"What about metastasis Doc?"

"Metastastis isn't something we must concern now"OK?

I sighed. "Ok" "When we should start my therapy"?

"Well, what about tomorrow'? "Unless you wanna have some second opinion..i mean...if you've already"

"No No! Do you mean if i have another Doctor? NO!'

"Yes. If that's so, i don;'t have any problem"

" No...You are my....First. I mean , in Medical's Issues!"

" I got you. I'm going to give ya some prescription ok. I want you to stay away from stress, anxious and bad mindset."

" Would you do this?"

" I will do my best"

"That's it"

He smiled to me so sweet so calming that is like it was the first relaxing thing i needed that moment....

"Thank you so much 4 your help Dr."

I stood up my chair , grabbing my purse and ready to go.

" Oh. Just a moment. Here. "

He passed me his tiny Medical ID card with the Phone Number and Email.

" Here's the way to find me. In Case you need some advice"

" Thank you so much again . Bye. See you soon!"

"Let me walk you out"

He opened the door for me , and i felt his hand on my back.

"Bye. See ya!" He winked his right eye...and smiled again.

PART 2 COMING SOON !!

[heritagehills]

Sleep Medications – Good, Bad or Addictive???

Hey good morning everyone.. did you sleep well??? if you are like most of my addiction or mental health patients up all night worrying about stuff then chances are no. Am i right?

Have you asked your doctor for sleeping pills yet? keep in mind that even though sleeping medications really do sound appealing (after all the name alone sounds like its logical) there are a ton of caveats and issues. Here is the difficult part and the general golden rule.

ALWAYS TREAT THE UNDERLYING PROBLEM NOT JUST THE SYMPTOMS

You would all agree correct? YES , unless its about your own insomnia THEN its ok to treat the symptoms right??? this is the problem. We talk the talk but when it comes to ourselves we don’t want to walk the walk. we just want the symptom treatment. After all, doesn’t the sleeping pill “treat” the actual problem??? NO it doesn’t… treating the the anxiety does, treating the depression does, treating the OCD with the constant mind racing at night does but the pill wont. Will antidepressants treat the insomnia or anti anxiety meds (NOT xanax- dont get me going on xanax) or cognitive behavioral therapy? Yes those things will treat the insomnia but we have been so conditioned into wanting everything now and yesterday that we don’t have the patience for that. Never mind that the insomnia, the depression , the anxiety have been brewing for 10 years right? but now all of a sudden since seeing that stupid ad for ambien on TV we have to have it immediately. That’s the conundrum!. Guess what? we do studies on this stuff and the TV is WRONG!!!. surprise, surprise

#1: Use CBT (cognitive therapy) that’s the most effective #2: Use CBT (cognitive therapy) that’s the most effective #3: Use CBT (cognitive therapy) that’s the most effective you getting the gist yet? YES i know we all don’t have time to do that kind of stuff…. yada yada yada… waahhhhh. well, GET it done!. no more excuses!!. stop whining and start doing!!. I know it takes time out of your day but so does not sleeping! THEN when it comes to meds: #4 stop alcohol. I said med right? well alcohol is a “depressant” so it IS a med … just in the wrong direction… its like saying “stop taking a pill with the word UN-prozac written on it” #5 Cut the caffeine. no elaboration needed #6 Get your sleep apnea tested and treated. snoring causes a TON of fatigue and depression. we’re all overweight and many have sleep apnea #7 Benzos, ambience (which works like a benzo- not really surprising that its addicting). be super careful here. benzos cause long term memory problems like alzheimers. #8. Newer sleep meds like belsomra lunesta. Can leave you with penny sucking taste and we have no idea what thats about but when a med causes such a neurological issue you might be careful….

SUMMARY: Go do this properly and get the underlying anxiety/ depression treated and go start with therapy!!!.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

#sleep medications

[swaghumanoidnickelhero]

Carter verano x reader 2

Pretend this is Carter can't find any good gifs

A few months later your bump has been getting bigger and Carter became more protective of you and the baby

You roll and see your husband still sleeping so you cuddle up closer to him

You good morning

Carter hi mama

You how are you today

Carter I'm good amore how about u

You good I'm finally past the naseuous stage

Carter that's good baby

You yeah so what's the plans today

Carter do you want to go in the huttub or the pool

You the pool

Carter ok baby are you carving anything rn

You uhmm you

Carter shocked but he smirks

Carter come again baby

You I want you my hormones are all over the place I'm sorry 😞

Carter don't cry baby

Carter how about we chill in bed for a little longer and then the pool

You ok baby ty

You can you drive me later too I have a doctor appointment to see the baby

Carter k sure baby

You ty honey

Carter just smirks

You to nextflix and chill for another 1

You babe we need to start to get ready to go out

Carter ok amore

You put on the simple outfit and you go out the kitchen

Carter looks up

You look so good

Carter babe it's just a shirt and pants

You I know but yum

Carter later mama

You can you help me with my shows

Carter show honey

You what my bump is too big

Carter your growing a baby it's ok

You ty

You two head to the doctor

Carter so what's does this appointment intiel

You a ultrasound mostly to get how the baby growing

Carter oh fr that's great

You I requested a female doctor because I know how you get

Carter ty sweetheart

You yw

The doctor calls your name and you head in the room

Doctor The gel will be a little cold

You alright

You see the baby on the screen and you look over to your husband

Carter that's amazing honey

You yes it is

Doctor here's a few photos and everything looks great

You awesome ty

Doctor you too are free to leave when need

Carter ty doc

Carter wow

You You ok

Carter yeah its just so cool

You yeah baby

He helps you get up and head out the door

You two get into the pool a little later and Jose comes over

You hi jose everything ok

Jose yeah we need your husband

You work

Jose yeah sorry

You get out of the pool and head intoy the house

Carter what's with the face

You You have work to go to

Carter sorry Hon

You it's whatever 😒

You go sit on the couch

Carter Jose are able to handle it

Jose yes sir

Carter ty I have a very pregnant wife that I need to take care of

Carter baby Jose can handle it so I get to stay home

You oh alright you wipe your tears

Carter I didn't mean to make you upset

You sorry it's the hormones

Carter it's alight baby

You feel the baby kicking

You put his hand on your stomach

Carter what's that

You that's the baby kicking its like your voice

Carter does it hurt amore

You not at all it's like a flutter

Carter oh gotcha

You two make dinner and then time for a bath

He puts in rose pearl's and petals in the bath

You ty Carter

Carter for what

You for taking care of me and the baby

Carter of course that's what I'm supposed to be doing

Carter baby let me massage you

You yay

He helps you the bath and puts you on the bed

He rubs with your lotion and puts a stretch mark cream on your bump

You this is amazing babe

Carter good baby I'm glad

You I'm so tired can we head to bed

Carter sure baby

[lesbiten]

on one hand i get the whole “if a characters death upset you it succeeded in leaving an impact on you so its good” but also. counter argument. im sad

#OASNDASDHABDHA #yes this character lives in my head but a few more seasons with them wouldnt have hurt ........... #this is about owen tosh and ianto obviously. of course. who else #i appreciate we get big finish audios with them and i understand that as well but its just. its not the show #does that make sense #like i think a lot of the audios are Better than the show i do but like....its different #i would appreciate Both #i love the audios and the show itself for two entirely seperate reasons #but the thing is in the audios you just dont get.... i dont know ? #like the same experience u get watching these guys fuck around on tv #im sure u guys get it i am literally rambling!!!! but #i just wish torchwood had more seasons before they decided to kill off All Of Their Characters you know. #at least one more season between 1 and 2. at least #it just felt so fast #and then 4 episodes later ianto dies too like. #torchwood truly was just way too short of a show #and i love that the audios put space between it and lengthen it out a bit but still its not the same as an extra season you know. #ok its 1 in the morning and i have 2 go to a doctors appointment at 7am so. im going to be hope this ramble wasnt that incoherent #simon says #torchwood #EDIT like ok. the audios are a great place for individual characters to be explored and theyve done that brilliantly #but the show is a better medium for the team as a Whole to develop and better for world building #you know? ok. #ok im going to bed. #this is why u do not encourage me to think abt this show i will go on and on HBSBFDSYFBDS

[vtforpedro]

health/medical update

thank you all for your comments on my last post. I'm sorry I didn't reply, but they meant a lot to me. it's kind of blahhh being told you probably need brain surgery so I was digesting that. and digesting the appointment at the big neuro hospital shortly after! that was an appointment a long time coming, jfc. I brought along a copy of my diary of symptoms, but going in alone is still not great. anyway, I met the doctor and she was pretty nice. I started telling her my story and all the things I've been experiencing for over two years and about halfway through she was like 'ok! so I'm not an expert in IIH' 🙃 like I specifically made sure I would see an expert in IIH because I have fucking IIH. but she said something shocking right after. shocking in that I've not experienced it from any other doctor before and shocking in its simplicity 'but dr so and so is! so tell me the rest of your story and symptoms and I'll go grab him to go over it all and bring him in here' like whaaaAAAAAAA a doctor immediately admitting they don't know the answers so they're gonna get someone who does? RIGHT THEN AND THERE? insanity. bizarro world. it shouldn't feel that way, but unfortunately, it does. still, I was thrilled by this lmao we finished with my story and symptoms and meds, she did a typical neuro exam, then went and grabbed him. he came in, was really nice, holy shit intelligent, and yeah, an expert in IIH. he spent 35 minutes in the room with me, the other doctor, and my mom was on the phone basically he said 'yeah babe you've got IIH let's diagnose and fix ya' (but more professionally). I do have to get the LP because just in case it isn't IIH, which it totally is because I have almost every single symptom and he agrees, but he said he'd treat my migraines regardless. probably botox injections every three months, which are incredibly helpful for migraines from what I've heard my shitty ass neurologist was titrating me up on the med that helps IIH but I didn't take the higher dose in the morning mostly because 1. the scary ass MRI report about significantly decreased spinal fluid (neurosurgeon was like yeah ok but not really you're fine) 2. if I'm gonna get an LP, do I want to go up on the med that has already given me relief and get like a false normal reading? he said 'you're very intelligent' sksksksk and preferably he'd like to do LPs before the med for that reason, but I'm on such a low dose it should still read high regardless as far as brain surgery goes! the first doctor I met literally blinked and reared back when I said my neurosurgeon said I gotta get a shunt in my brain cause it's the only treatment for IIH she said no????? we have so many more things we could try first and you are SO YOUNG. so apparently shunts are life-long. I thought they could come out if there was no need for them anymore, but guess not. she said that they get infected, they break, they need replaced, they don't last long (eight years on average for adults but that's average. brain surgery over and over again is a Scary Thought) the other doctor said the exact same thing. they're like some people just need LPs regularly (1x a year, 4x a year), some are good on low doses of the med, some are good on extremely high doses. IIH is a finicky bitch and affects everyone in wildly different ways. he said he can't say I'll never need a shunt, but definitely not right now I told them 'yeah I was kind of hoping more weight loss and a higher dosage could be tried first???' and they both said YES so brain surgery is off the table and I'm kind of mad at my neurosurgeon for scaring the shit out of me lmao I told my mom I wonder if he said it as a dramatic fear tactic to make me get the LP and then would've been like 'oh nah you don't need surgery' after but 😒 fucking doctors this dr I will be seeing now complimented me numerous times. like what. that's new too. me knowing anything about the condition I have was intimidating to my neurologists, which is super hilarious and depressing looking back. he liked that I did tho. he said it was smart

to look for an emergency ophthalmologist when my eyes went batshit and to do it again or go to the ER if they do it again lmao but he said the fact that there's no swelling on my optic nerves yet means I'm probably not at risk of going blind anytime soon I have tons of visual disturbances which is exhausting and stressful, but as long as I am vigilant about the warning signs and get this LP and maintain a dosage of the med that makes the symptoms better, I should be ok that way? god hopefully. the alternative is terrifying I may also just have these symptoms forever. a lot of times this shit never goes away, which is also terrifying and I can't live like this for the rest of my life even if there's slight improvement. so I just have to hope this plan works for me anyway so I wasn't even halfway through writing this and had planned to complain that medical offices are still gonna medical office b/c I haven't been called about scheduling the LP or any other referrals he put in when they called me to schedule the LP lol now it's scheduled and I'm gonna have a cry after this they said I might not be able to do conscious sedation, which is weird b/c two neurologists said that'd be fine, but I literally have no idea how I am possibly going to get through it without any aid. you have to relax so they can do it properly or they won't be able to and I will absolutely not be able to relax. I have severe medical trauma and have worked up so much fear over this procedure that??? there's just no way. they asked if I could take an ativan beforehand since I'm on it already and I'm like buddy I've been on it so long it does not do what you want it to do anymore lmao so yeah. no idea how I'm going to avoid a panic attack because of IVs first, getting into the CT room, The Procedure. like good fucking luck to y'all and to me x_x sorry for rambling. I'm so fucking tired and my head is getting bad again. I had a brief respite of not feeling like I'm dying constantly but it's coming back now. super scared I'll be in a 'respite' period in a month, when the procedure is, which would mean a lower pressure reading. please cross your fingers for me weird to hope I'll be in incredible agony that day but I do hope so lol this is the most positive this experience has been with doctors and a plan moving forward. and he did say he'd treat me anyway if the pressure is normal because I have migraines regardless. so some tiny glimmer of hope I never ever trust first impressions with doctors anymore after the last two years of my life, but I hope this works out. donno what I'll do if it doesn't thanks for listening. love you all so much and I hope you're well. take care <3

#personal #vtforpedro personal #medical #le sigh #still kind of feel like the LP is going to kill me and I think only being unalive or safely recovered is gonna make me feel better :P #it's in a month! #time to get my second booster aka fourth dose of this fuckin vaccine #but i'll feel miles better having it settled in my immune system before I have a procedure in the hospital hnnnn

[fluffyskies]

Appointment

Sanders Sides

Ship: Could be seen as Moceit

Category: Tickling [Tickle-fic]

Roles: Ler Janus, Lee Patton, mentions of Virgil, Logan and Roman

Summary: Patton wanted to spend one on one time with the others but unexpected messages make them cut the bonding time short.

Note: This is actually the first time I'm writing Janus/Deceit °v°.

Patton had asked Virgil if he wanted to hangout this morning so they were in his room cuddling and talking.

"Ahhh this is relaxing...." Virgil said quietly

"Yeah this is" replied Patton

"I don't ever wanna leave..." said Virgil

"Well you don't have to it's only 8:30" Patton said happily

"W-wait? 8:30??"

"Mhm, that's what I said"

"Oh no, oh no I'm late!" the anxious side said getting out of the warm and toasty blankets.

"Late for what?" Patton asked

"O-oh umm.....R-roman asked me to help him" he stammered

"With what?"

Virgil knew that Patton was just curious to why he was leaving so soon, but he was a bit embarrassed to say. So he came up with a lie and hopefully it was believable.

"To....to....to help him chose some clothes for a new outfit" Virgil said with an awkward smile.

"Oh ok then you go, don't wanna keep royalty waiting" Patton smiled

"Thanks Pat!" and then he was gone

Now that Virgil was gone Patton found himself wanting more bonding time. So he went to Logan's room to ask if he wanted to hangout.

On his way though he heard something unusual...was that laughter? Patton tried to ignore it but it was hard to not think about it. Once he arrived at Logan's door he knocked then asked if they could spend some time together. Which Logan happily agreed to and beckoned him to come in his room.

It had been about 15-20 minutes and Patton and Logan were playing a mind game. To Patton's surprised he was winning but Logan wasn't that far behind. He seemed distracted so he ask him if something was wrong, but he said it was nothing.

After about 10 more minutes Patton heard Logan's phone beep, he picked it up and handed it to him.

[Text]

Virgil- Hey specs your appointment is ready

Logan- Ah thank you but I'm with Patton at the moment and I'm not sure what to do

Virgil- Oh you can just use my little excuse but tweak it a bit so its not suspicious

Logan- I will thanks

"Oh my apologies Patton but I may have to excuse myself"

"For?"

"I'm afraid Virgil acquires my assistance"

"With what?"

"He wants a second opinion on Roman's outfit that he chose" Logan said clearing his throat.

"Hmm ok"

"Will you be fine?"

"Oh yeah, don't worry about me!" Patton said smiling

Logan just nodded and left in a hurry

And again Patton was left alone, it was getting harder to put on a smile because he just wanted to spend some time with the others. Now it seems as though their avoiding him? but he didn't want to think that was case.

Then just like before he started to hear laughter again.

Patton wanted to go and see for himself to why he was hearing laughter but he saw Roman in the living room.

"Hiya Ro"

The creative side turned his head and smiled

"Hey Padre"

Now Patton just had to know...if he was also going to have to leave.

"So are you busy?"

"Hmm, right now no but later I have plans"

He has plans, I wonder for what? Does it have to do with everyone? Is it linked to the laughter I've been hearing? Bunches of questions were going through his head.

"Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering hehe, anyway wanna hangout?"

"Sure"

Then both of them went to Roman's room. They were listening to disney music and singing along to them.

It had already been awhile and Patton was starting to keep an eye on when Roman had his plans. The only weird thing was Roman kept checking his phone like he was expecting a notification soon. Then soon enough his phone dinged and Patton noted the way Roman smiled and bit his lip.

"Hey Pat I'm afraid we have to cut this short I'm sorry"

"I know you have plans correct?"

"Yep" he said as he turned to leave but was stopped when Patton grabbed his tunic.

"Wait a minute"

"Umm y-yes?"

"What exactly are these plans?"

Roman knowing how Patton can be sometimes, handed him a blank piece of paper. When Patton was confused to why he handed him a piece of paper, he used that to escape before Patton had the chance to ask about it.

Patton looked at the paper it wasn't blank it had something on it. It looked like a phone number and it said 'Call to schedule an appointment with Doctor Giggles'. Who's that? Patton thought. So without question he quickly dialed the number in his phone.

When the person on the other side pick up they said hello

"Hi this is Patton Sanders"

"Hello Mr. Sanders" the voice replied

"I'd like to schedule an appointment"

"Oh excellent, your appointment should be soon I will contact you as soon as we're ready"

"Ok thank you" and then he hung up

Also when he was in the call he noticed Roman's laughter echoing through the phone but it wasn't that loud. That seemed to raise Patton's suspicion even more than it was.

About a half and hour later his phone buzzed. He picked up the phone and saw he got a message. Patton clicked the message and read it and it said 'Your appointment is in a few minutes the Doctor is ready for you, here are directions to the room.

Directions? Patton thought. So he followed the directions to the door. Patton took a good look at the door and he didn't recognize it. He knew the Mind Palace very well and did not recall ever seeing this room before, maybe Roman made it?

Patton was now ready to see what was waiting for him on the other side. He slowly opened the door and saw a silhouette of a person. It took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the different lighting and when they did Patton was surprised to see....

"Janus? is that you?"

"Hmm? I do not know this Janus you speak of...I am Doctor Giggles"

"But you look just like him" the moral side looked from head to toe and that was indeed Janus in a doctors costume.

"Well we might have sssome sssimilarities but I assure you that we are not the sssame person"

"Ok I guess I made a mistake" Patton knew he was pretending so he might as well go along with it as well.

"Anyway Mr. Sanders would you please sit down over here and answer some questions"

Patton nodded his head and sat down

"Ok question #1 how ticklish are you?" he said with a smirk

Of course not knowing the doctor would flat out ask this question caught poor Patton of guard. He struggled to answer and his face was beginning to turn pink.

"I-im pretty...."

"Pretty what?

"T-ti..ti.t...sensitive"

"Hmm ok" and he wrote it down in his note book

"Question #2 what are your favorite tickle tools?

And again Patton struggled to answer (poor little bean)

"I-I would have to s-say f-feathers and t-toothbrushes"

"Ok good" and he wrote that down

"Last question, what are your worst spots?

"W-what?" Patton said face getting warmer

"You heard me" the doctor smiled

"M-my thighs....b-be-stomach..and n-neck/ears"

"Ok good job now please wait here while I get the preparations"

"O-ok" Patton listened but he still confused on why he had to answer those questions.

When the doctor came back it finally occurred to Patton.

"So would you like to be restrained?" asked the doctor

"Kind of" Patton blushed. "Can I have my feet restrained...?"

"Csssertainly" he said as he got some rope and tied Patton's ankles. Patton watched with a wobbly smile.

"Nervous are we?"

With a bright vibrant blush he nodded

"Awe cute, well that's quite alright because since this is your first time here you would be a little nervous. But I assure you your gonna have fun" he said as he looked Patton's in the eyes.

All Patton could do was look hopeful squirming in place, anticipation jumping to a whole nother level as he watched Doctor Giggles pick up a feather. And that feather looked very very very fluffy.

Already Patton was giggling even at the sight of the feather and wiggling his toes. The doctor walks over to his feet positioning the feather right at his toes getting ready to saw at the sensitive skin in between.

"Are you ready Patton?" the doctor asked

"M-mhm"

Just as the doctor got his reply he started to saw the soft fluffy feather in between his ticklish toes. Making Patton giggle hysterically and he tried multiple times to catch the feather with his toes. But only to met with a buzzing electric toothbrush being stuck in between his toes instead.

"Eeeeeahahahaha!! Nahaha!"

The doctor grinned "Silly you can't do that or you'll get even more tickles"

Then tie went on and the doctor went to different spots eliciting many giggles. Squeaks when he brushed the feather on his neck or ears, squeals when he squeezed his thighs and the bubbliest laughter when he got his adorable tummy.

After about a half-hour later of this playful tickling it was over.

"Haaah that was fun!"

"Hmm glad you enjoyed yourself"

Doctor Giggles untied Patton's feet and helped him to his feet.

"Please come again some time" the doctor smiled

"I will!" Patton shouted happily as he skipped through the door, he'd definitely need to schedule more appointments

Hiya! Sorry I have made a t-fic in awhile 😣 I got caught up doing art so I apologize. But I hope you enjoyed I have another one coming soon! Have a nice day :D

#Sanders sides #Tickling #Lee Patton! #Ler Janus! #Mentions of the other sides #Tickle Doctor Janus #(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) #Skye posts

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Managed: Part 3

Pairings: Clark Kent x Reader (Henry Cavill Clark)

Warnings: Maybe swearing

Word Count: 2,777

A/N: Doesn’t have a completed end yet, but just giving you more content to try to get myself out of a writing funk.

Part 1 / Part 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“OK, hold the fuck on.” Your best friend from work, Sarah, said as she waited patiently for you to safely enter your currently room temperature hot tub to cool off on your first hot day of spring. “You’re the one dating Clark Kent?! Tall, drop dead gorgeous, hasn’t looked at a single woman since he started at Blue Ridge to the point we were starting to think he was gay, Clark Kent?”

“People thought he was gay?” You asked with a huffed laugh as you sat down in your favorite spot.

“I mean, have you seen how he dresses?” She asked as she got in and sat across from you. “Those tight shirts?”

“So that makes him gay?!” You laughed as you wrapped your ponytail into a bun and secured it with the hair tie on your wrist.

“OK, not exclusively.” She laughed as she hit the display panel and turned on her jets. “It’s all talk, you know. That’s all. He’s just never showed interest in getting to know people and he’s never once mentioned a significant other to anyone... you know how usually that shit just kinda slips out in passing. I don’t know, it’s just an observation.”

“Well now that it’s out, it’s spreading like wildfire. Everyone seems to know now.”

“That’s the fun part of working at Blue Ridge.” She said over the sound of your jets starting up. “Everybody is in everybody else’s business. I’m just surprised that y’all were able to keep it a secret as long as you did.”

“It was more out of fear than anything else.” You started as you looked over at the familiar rumble of a pick up truck and its tires coming up your gravel drive. “He was worried about my job, I was worried about his. Now that people know, it’s like a weight has been lifted off our shoulders.”

“Is that his truck?” You nodded your head and turned the slightest bit to yell at Clark that you were down stairs when he got out of his truck. “Does he live here?”

“We go back and forth between here and his place. We have been slowly starting to throw around the idea of getting a place but it’s still just pillow talk.”

“I swear, you live in that hot tub.” Clark teased as he walked through the side fence.

“Sue me, I’m a mermaid.”

“Got that right.” He chuckled as he came into the screened in porch. “Hello, Sarah.”

“How’s it going, boss man.” She teased. “Or is it baby daddy now?”

“Clark still works just fine.” He laughed as he leaned over the side to kiss your forehead. “I’m gunna go shower and wash this day off me and thank God we have the next two days off.”

“For doctors appointments.” You pointed out. “So many doctors appointments.” With a nod of his head, he said good bye to Sarah and headed inside, while your friend simply shook her head at you.

“Luckiest bitch in the world.” She muttered when she was sure the down stairs door to your house was closed.

“I know.” You laughed with a shrug as you stretched your legs out under the water and got even more comfortable in front of your jets. “He’s a heaven sent angel for sure. That man has the patience of a saint to put up with all my crazy.”

“Yea, and we both know how much crazy that is.” She laughed, which made you pout and splash some water in her direction.

“I’m serious though. He puts up with me and helps me not spiral out of control better than my own mother can. I seriously have no idea how or why he has stuck around this long...”

“Because you are worth it, (Y/N). You are worth this happiness I can actually see in your eyes. You deserve to be happy just like the rest of us... well, not me. I’m a piece of shit.”

“And you have Larry.” You pointed out as you turned in your chair to grab your bottle of water off the side.

“Two fucked up sides to the same coin.” She laughed, whole heartedly. “God, I love that man. Pain in my ass, and I definitely don’t deserve him, but I love him for loving me all the same. We should all grab dinner sometime. Like a...”

“If you say ‘double date’ to me right now, I will drown you, pregnant or not.”

“Spoil sport.”

——

“So I’ve been thinking...”

“Oh that’s a dangerous thing to do.” Clark teased as he got ready for bed later that night.

“Maybe it’s time to revisit us moving in together and buying a house.” Your boyfriend actually froze half way through taking his under shirt off and stared at you as you looked away from your Facebook feed and up at him through your lashes. “Save money before the baby comes and all.”

“So you wanna buy a house to save money.” He laughed as he took off his shirt and tossed it in the laundry basket. “What brought this on?”

“Well.” You breathed as you turned off your phone screen and rolled over onto your side to face him. “Sarah asked if we were living together when she saw you pull up and I told her we were just talking about it, but the only reason I have been hesitant about it was because of work but since work knows, there really isn’t an issue anymore so there isn’t any reason not to now, right?” He nodded his head slowly as he put his folded jeans on his dresser for the morning and sat down on his side of the bed facing you.

“You know that I have wanted to move in with you for months.” He started as he reached out to put his hand on your hip. “So I am beyond excited at the idea of this actually happening. But I want to make sure that you are ready for this and not just jumping into it because you think its gunna make other people happy.”

“No, I know.” You agreed as you scooted forward so you were a little closer to him. “I have wanted to live with you since you asked me to. I know it’s a big step and yes, its already stressing me out, but I know that at the end of it all, I will be with you. And that’s all I want. I just want to be with you. You make me so happy, more than I’ll ever deserve. And I know that it’s time to take the next step in our lives together. Besides that, we can’t really start our family living in two different houses, one of which is with my mother...”

“OK, well that is another thing we need to discuss.” He said as he leaned over so that he was propped up on the bed behind you with his elbow but still partially laying on your legs. “Because I already know you well enough to know that your mother is a big part of your support group and moving you too far away from her isn’t going to work for both of your sakes. She needs you as much as you need her...”

“OK...”

“And there aren’t many properties in this area for sale right now. Trust me, I’ve been keeping an eye on it for a few months.”

“Of course you have.” You giggled as you propped yourself up on your hand to see him a little better.

“But, there are two different plots of land, one across the street and one a little ways up the road that are up for sale and are pretty cheap. We could possibly build a house...”

“We could... And there’s also the bottom of mom’s property...”

“What, in her yard?”

“No, the neighbor’s old garden.” You replied a you gestured in that direction. “Mom made that comment when we first moved up here, of me possibly building down there so she’s a little less alone on the mountain. If that’s not too crazy of an idea to you, we could talk to her and see if she’s still ok with something like that and maybe see if she would sell us that land. Maybe, I don’t know...”

“Honestly, knowing you as well as I do, that would be the best case scenario here.” He agreed.

“That’s not weird for you?” He smirked and shook his head as he moved his hand enough to rub your back.

“Baby, I love you. And I know that family is important to you. I knew a long time ago that we’d be living near your mother and I don’t have an issue with that now, like I didn’t when I realized that. I like your mom, she’s funny...”

“Oh, don’t ever let her hear you say that.” You laughed as you reached down to run your fingers through his dark curls.

“And I know she respects boundaries enough that it’s not going to turn into an ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ situation. But we need to talk to her. And we need to really think about this and make sure building a house is something we wanna do right now. It takes a while to do, and there’s a chance, even if we start on Monday with talking to the city and getting the ball rolling, we might not be in the house before the baby is born... You’ve stopped listening, haven’t you?”

“No, I’m hearing you.” You said through your giant smile. 

“No you’re not.” He laughed as he sat up and gave you a chaste kiss. “We’ll talk to mom after your morning appointment.”

“You’re way to good to me.” You sighed as he got up to brush his teeth for bed.

“I’m just treating you like you deserve, sweetheart. That’s all.”

——

“OK, scale of one to ten.” Clark said behind you as you walked through your almost finished house, making sure all the details were exactly right like you did every night you got home from work. “How badly do you crave a trip to Disney?” You stopped and looked back at him before gesturing to the Disney character drawer pulls that you had put on the drawers of the dressers in your closet, and the Star Wars ones in your bathroom.

“Really?” You asked as you gestured toward the guest bathroom, that was going to be finished to look like the hallway in the Haunted Mansion, and the stacks of boxes in the master bedroom behind him of the collection of Disney things the pair of you had collected over the years. “Really?”

“So like a four?”

“Like a ten million.”

“Enough to wanna go on a short baby moon in a few weeks?”

“Is that why I was approved for my paid time off days that I never requested off?” You giggled as you turned turned back to the closet to look at the painting that got finished in there today. He laughed whole heartedly behind you and nodded his head behind your back.

“I thought I beat the response on that and we gotta use them anyways or we lose them. Hey...” You paused your inspection and turned around with your hands on your bump and your back, and he smiled and pulled you toward him by your shirt. “Let’s go to Disney for a bit. The house is close to being done, you haven’t found a single issue with it in the the last seven months, and I think we should just relax for a few days while we still can. Before Wendy comes...”

“Her name is Evangeline.” You countered with a smile. “The sooner you accept that...”

“Yea, yea, yea.” He chuckled, knowing that your daughter’s name was going to be Evangeline (since he picked it out in the first place), but just wanting to pick on you to see the cute annoyed face you gave him every time. “I’m still partial to Tegan...”

“Then you shouldn’t have given me Evangeline.” You said in a sing song voice as you turned to head back up to your mom’s place for dinner, since your kitchen was not even close to being finished yet. “It’s all your fault.”

“You haven’t given me an answer, sweetheart.”

“Why do we have to wait a few weeks to go?” You asked as you stepped over some boxes of flooring that was waiting to go in your kitchen once the island was installed.

“Because that’s the way it works.” He countered as he helped you squeeze between all of the  cabinets for the kitchen and the bathrooms that were going up later that week when the painters were done. “That’s when I could get a site at Fort Wilderness so we can use your mom’s camper to save us some money...”

“Wait, how are we affording Disney right now? We have so much money tied up in the build...?”

“I still know people working at Disney, sweetheart. So I called in a few favors from people who were more than happy to spare some tickets, let us use their discounts, and spread a little pixie dust on two expecting Disney fanatics.”

“Ok, but even still, it’s gunna cost us...” You tried as you stepped out the front door on to the porch.

“Let me worry about that.” Clark interrupted as he locked the door and you turned back to face him.

“You can’t keep doing that.” You said softly with a shake of your head. “You can’t shut me down when it comes to money anymore. I understand you want to give me the world and you don’t want me to ever have to worry, but that’s not how this works. We’re building a house, and starting a family, Clark. And you can’t take on that financial responsibility alone no matter how long you have saved up for it. You’re not the only one who has. But you have to let me... please. Because otherwise, I will keep canceling orders on things like the paint, and those drawer knobs, and these rocking chairs and rebuying them on my name, on my cards...”

“I was wondering how I had more money in my account than I should have.” He sighed as he sat down on one of the two rockers and gestured for you to sit down as well. “I don’t like it...”

“You don’t have to like it.” You grumbled as you sort of just flopped down after a long day on your feet. “Just like I don’t have to like growing a child. We still gotta do it though.” With one more sigh, he nodded and sat back in his chair.

“I’ve had money for the house for years. Evangeline is throwing me for a bit of a loop, but I um... well I opened another credit card and it’s covering her expenses...”

“Clark, you didn’t have to do that.” You sighed as you leaned to the side the slightest bit to reach out for his hand. “Because you’re not the only one saving money here. And there’s no point in me saving money just for it to gain interest in a bank when it could be used to help us better ourselves by... oh I don’t know, buying a crib and diapers and cute little dresses and sweaters and little baby booties. It can buy those towels I love for the guest bathroom, which, by the way, it already has and they will be delivered on Tuesday.”

“I thought you changed your mind on those and that’s why they were canceled.”

“Nope, just repurchased.” You clarified as you sat back to rock yourself back and forth.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” He said softly after a few moments. “It’s just... hard. I was raised to be the man of the house and that leaves me with the burden.”

“And if that’s the case, then I’ll stay at home and parent. But either way, I still have money saved that can help us out here, OK? Money for a house, and a wedding. May even be able to afford a trip to Disney and the baby I’m growing, too. So you are not allowed to take on the burden of our life together alone anymore. Or you can sleep in my mom’s basement while I enjoy our house with Evangeline all by ourselves.”

“Alright, fine. You win.” He breathed with a nod. “You’re going to be the death of me, you know that, right?”

“Oh, don’t you know it.” You giggled as you stood up to head home. “Come on, I’m hungry.”

#clark kent x reader #clark x reader #Managed

[pyrewrites]

Thirteen Days

Entry number 2 into the @bechloe-week Weekley Bechloe mini-challenge. This for the prompt ‘quarantine’.

Ao3

Thirteen Days

It was only day 6 of lockdown but LA already had a death toll. The rising count statewide was actually what finally got the state government to act. It was scary as hell but Chloe was in lockdown with her favorite person in the entire world. Her roommate, up and coming musician, and the girl she had been in love with for nearly a decade, Beca Mitchell.

Chloe suspected that she would have been in a much worse state of mind if not for Beca. Chloe was suffering from information overload on a near-daily basis before lunch. Beca had on more than one occasion hidden both of their phones and laptops behind the locked door to what had originally been designated as Chloe's bedroom but quickly became a guestroom/Beca's home studio space, and removed the batteries from all the remotes except for the blu-ray player that had Netflix to keep Chloe from looking up any more doom and gloom. And Chloe was grateful. Yesterday had been especially bad. Chloe had come across a pair of reports of deaths that blew a hole the size of the 405 in the claims that 'only the elderly and immunocompromised had to worry'. The first was a college athlete without a single health problem. He was the same age Chloe had been the day she met Beca. The second was a 13-year-old girl. She had spent hours curled up in Beca's arms alternating between crying and having panic attacks as the reality of the situation set in. Beca had run a marathon of Disney movies in their shared bedroom the whole rest of the day until Chloe had drifted off to sleep.

The next morning Chloe was making a sizable breakfast of all of Beca's favorites to bring her in bed to thank her for everything she did the day before. She glanced at the clock figuring she had enough time to finish before Beca woke up. She had just finished plating the food and was turning to the fridge to get the orange juice when her entire world stopped at the sound of a violent coughing fit coming from the bedroom. Her mind immediately flashed back to the last time they had gone to the store to stock up when the rumors of the lockdown started getting serious. The store had been packed. Despite all the talk of social distancing, Chloe would have been shocked if there was a total of six feet of open space in the entire store. That had been a week before the lockdown order had been given. Thirteen days ago.

Chloe sprinted to the bedroom. She slammed the door open to find Beca doubled over, still coughing. The covers on the bed had been kicked away from her body. Her face was flushed, which could have been attributed to the coughing fit. But the sheen of sweat over every inch of exposed skin Chloe could see was not the fault of coughing.

“Oh god no,” Chloe whispered. She rushed forward nearly jumping onto the bed. “Beca!”

Her coughing continued. She tried to speak only to cough again before she could form any coherent words. Chloe placed a hand on Beca's forehead only to yank it away from her burning skin. Chloe ran into the bathroom and wet a washcloth with cold water. After a few moments of searching, she found a bottle of cough syrup and a digital thermometer. She dashed back to the bed. She opened the bottle and handed it to Beca then started running the cold washcloth over the back of Beca's neck as she tilted her head back swallowing probably more than the recommended dosage.

“Thank you.” Beca croaked as Chloe wiped over her forehead and face, then down her chest and arms.

  “I'm calling the doctor,” Chloe said. Not saying '  to find out where to get tested'   out loud. But Beca saw the panic growing in her eyes. She turned on the thermometer and waited for it to chime ready. “Open.”

Beca dutifully opened her mouth and closed it again around the annoying plastic and metal probe. As soon as it was in place she watched as Chloe tried her best not to run from the room to get her phone. After several moments she could hear Chloe's voice but couldn't make out what she was saying until she shouted.

“I know the symptoms! They are all over the news and the internet! The last time we were out in public for any reason was thirteen days ago!”

Chloe's voice dropped again but it was obvious she was coming back to the bedroom just as the thermometer beeped.

“Yes, she is running a fever,” Chloe said as she walked up to the bed and plucked it from Beca's mouth. “Shit. It's 100.8, we need to come in today. As soon as possible.”

Beca watched as the tension in Chloe's face started to relax.

“Yes. Both of us. We went to the store to stock up two weeks ago and have been in close contact with each other in our apartment since.” Chloe paused. “Ok. Thank you very much.”

Chloe took the thermometer and the cough syrup back into the bathroom. She swung the door closed behind her so she could lean against the counter and try not to burst into tears. She only managed to stay quiet when she did start crying.

“Chlo?” Came Beca's scratchy voice from the bedroom after several minutes of Chloe not returning from the bathroom.

“Yeah. Just a second.” Chloe called trying to keep her voice even. She wiped at her face and almost considered doing her makeup, but decided that would make it even more obvious since they had both stopped bothering days ago. She slowly pulled open the door and started towards the hallway. “Just stay in bed. I'm going to bring you the breakfast I was fixing.”

Beca started to shuffle pillows around so she could sit up. She had gotten herself set up by the time Chloe returned with her food. She made another trip to get her own breakfast and climbed into bed with Beca.

“What was this for?” Beca rasped.

“I was thanking you for yesterday and all those Disney movies without complaining even once.” Chloe smiled.

“You didn't have too. But I'm glad you did.” Beca said before coughing a few times.

“Our appointment is at one. They have a mini drive-up testing center set up to keep from exposing other people that have other reasons to go to the doctor right now.”

Beca just nodded, not wanting to talk much more than she had to with her throat hurting.

Chloe turned on the tv and started searching Netflix. She turned on something light and kinda mindless to watch while they ate.

After they finished breakfast Chloe went digging in their closet. At the time the lockdown order had gone into effect they hadn't had any orders about wearing masks in public yet, so Chloe hadn't gone looking since they had stocked up enough food for at least another week and a half. She found what she was looking for tucked into a side pocket of her suitcase. She and Beca had joined the Beale family ski trip last year over Christmas. Chloe had gotten them a pair of 'neck warmer ski masks' that looked like a turtleneck that had been removed from its shirt. It could be pulled all the way up over your nose to keep your face warm and Chloe figured that much fabric would be much better than cutting up a t-shirt like the internet was suggesting. But given they weren't even going to have to get out of the car to get tested they might not even need them at all.

Chloe made them some sandwiches and packed them both a lunch because she had no idea how long they might be waiting despite having an appointment. She gathered a clean change of clothes for Beca, who hadn't gotten dressed yet since waking up. All of this in-between sessions of panicked pacing in the living room.

Once Beca was dressed Chloe changed into clothes that were more acceptable to wear in public before hustling Beca out to the car. She ran back inside to grab their packed lunch and took a long slow look around the home that they had built together, fighting back tears again.

Chloe barely heard the music playing in the car as she drove. The trip took less than a quarter as long as she was planning. There were virtually no cars on the road.

  “Is it just me or does it feel like we are in the opening scenes of some post-apocalyptic movie and we are like the last people left on earth?” Beca was the one to say it, which itself said how deserted the roads were.

They pulled up outside the doctor's office at 12:15, a full half-hour earlier that Chloe had expected. She saw a small tent in one corner of the parking lot and every other parking spot around that corner blocked off. She drove over and was waved down by a person in essentially a hazmat suit holding a clipboard. Chloe opened the window less than an inch, just enough to communicate.

“Do you have an appointment?” The person said.

“Yes, we do. Mitchell and Beale for 1 o'clock. Sorry we are early, I honestly didn't give any thought to how little traffic there would be.” Chloe said.

“Don't worry about. Everybody has done the same thing. We will get you taken care of as quickly as possible. Just wait in the car and we will hold up a sign with your name when it's your turn. Go ahead and park over there.” The person pointed to the end of the row in front of them. “Should be about 10-15 minutes.”

“Thank you,” Chloe said as she put the car back in gear. “How are you doing Becs?”

Beca shrugged and reclined her seat a bit before curling up.

Chloe watched as Beca nearly dozed off then turned her attention to the team working their way through the few cars waiting. They moved with a practiced efficiency that both impressed and frightened Chloe. She zoned out watching their movements until the person with the clipboard waved to get her attention. They held up a small whiteboard with Mitchell-Beale written on it. Chloe's heart skipped a beat.

Chloe pulled up to the spot she was directed to and rolled down both windows. The workers checked their temperatures with laser thermometers, that Chloe thought were pretty cool. They had both of them stick out their tongues so they could check their throats. Then they performed the test, which was very unpleasant. Before they let them leave they did a second swabbing of their throats.

“We will call you when the results come in. Good luck.” One of the workers said as they stepped back from the car to let them leave.

Chloe could barely bring herself to smile at them as she rolled up their windows. She didn't say a word the entire drive home.

When they got home they both changed back into more comfortable clothes and Beca crawled back into bed and took a nap. Chloe wanted to climb into bed and just hold Beca, but instead, she quietly closed the door before retreating to the living room, turning on the tv for some sound, and began crying again.

Chloe jerked awake at the sound of metal clanging in the kitchen. She looked around in confusion. The sun was setting outside. A blanket slipped off of her as she sat up awkwardly trying to move with a sore back.

She shuffled out to the kitchen to find Beca setting a pot of water on a burner.

“What are you doing?” Chloe said, her voice still thick with sleep.

“I woke up from my nap and you weren't there. I found you asleep on the couch so I covered you with a blanket and watched some tv for a while. Then I was in the mood for ramen. So here we are.” Beca said. Her voice still rough but it was better than it had been that morning.

“Go sit down,” Chloe ordered. “You are sick. I'll fix your food.”

Beca looked like she was going to object right up until Chloe shot her a look that said Beca wasn't going to win this argument. She stepped away from the stove and headed for the living room.

“And thank you for the blanket,” Chloe whispered as she placed a light kiss on Beca's cheek.

The next two days went much the same. Beca slept a lot. Chloe cried a lot and tried not to think about the sore throat she was starting to develop. Beca continued to be stubborn and tried to take care of herself as often as possible. And Chloe almost as often either ordered or, on three different occasions, physically carried Beca to the couch or bed to get her to stop.

The afternoon of the third day, after an especially bad coughing fit, Chloe broke. She started crying in front of Beca for the first time since she woke up sick days ago.

“Hey hey hey. It's ok Chlo.” Beca said as she gathered Chloe into her arms and started stroking her hair.

“No. It's not ok Beca.” Chloe's voice cracked. “I can't do this without you.”

“Can't do what?”

“This! Everything. My whole life. I can't lose you.” Chloe said between sobs.

“You aren't going to lose me Chlo.”

“You don't know that! And I don't want to live the rest of my life without you.”

“What the hell Chloe?”

“Beca I am trying to tell you that I'm in love with you and I don't want you to die!”

Beca stared opening and closing her mouth for what seemed like an hour.

A phone ringing startled both of them. Beca reached over and picked up her phone from her nightstand.

  “Hello? … Speaking. … I see. … Both of us? … Ok. … Yes, the one on file. … Yes. Thank you.” Beca hung up. After she set down her phone she took a slow deep breath. “Chloe. I love you too. I'm  in   love with you too.”

  “On no. Nononononono.” Chloe started crying again. She grabbed her own phone and started furiously started typing. “Fuck!”

“What?” Beca asked as Chloe started typing again.

“Apparently the courts aren't considered 'essential services' right now. Maybe they haven't locked down Vegas yet.” Chloe said distractedly.

“What are you talking about Chlo?”

“If one or both of us is going to die in the next few weeks I want to die knowing I got to be married to the love of my life.” Chloe looked up at the sound of Beca gasping. And found tears running down her smiling face.

Beca slowly reached out and took Chloe's phone from her.

“How 'bout you take me on at least a few dates first? But first, you need to make a run to the pharmacy at the Ralph's down the street.”

“Wha...but the internet says there's no treatment yet.”

“They ran a preliminary test here, but they have to send it to the CDC to make sure.”

“And...?”

“They came back negative for both of us. The test that came back positive was for strep throat.”

“So you're going to be ok?” A smile started spreading across Chloe's lips.

“Yeah. After a few more days of this fucking sore throat. And you're probably gonna get it too so they sent prescriptions for both of us to the pharmacy.” Beca grinned. “Maybe you can pick up some pizza while you are out and we can have that first date. Unless you still want to jump right to getting married.”

“After all this time it still surprises me that I am in love with such a pain in my ass.” Chloe laughed.

“'All this time'? Just how long have you been in love with me?”

“Think I'm going to let you wonder about that for awhile. I have to make a trip to the store.” Chloe said as she hopped off the bed giggling.

“Now who's the pain in the ass?” Beca called after her as she skipped down the hall. The sound of Chloe's laughter echoed back into the bedroom and it was the most beautiful thing Beca had ever heard...so far.

#bechloe #WeeklyBechloe #Beca Mitchell #Chloe Beale #Pitch Perfect #writing #Pyre Writes #Pyre writes fics #kinda shocked chloe hasn't murdered me in my sleep for this

[ruiyuki-archives]

Star Tear AU - Momo ver.

This is an AU I wrote on the todomomo discord server eons ago. Anything posted to this blog will be transcripts of old original work and not really edited, save for formatting. I have no guarantees if I will ever finish these AUs either so these will only be kept as an archive.

Original transcript posted to tdmm discord: Aug 2020

Momo ver. Alternate timeline: Todo ver. Part 1 || Todo ver. Part 2 || Todo ver. Part 3

ALRIGHT YALL NEW TROPE ALERT ➡ STAR TEAR DISEASE

Basically the cousin of Hanahaki Disease. Unrequited love causes a person to cry star tears accompanied by the sound of twinkling and if the feelings are not returned said person goes colour blind

And I just !!!!

tdmm AU where Momo gets star tear disease and the first time she cries in front of Todo after the exam with Aizawa she cries star tears???

And she doesn’t know what it means and neither does Todo but maybe Aizawa does and recognizes what it means but idk

So Momo goes on this whole literary quest to research what it means. And Todo volunteers to help bc umm?? Even the pressure point in her foot doesnt stop this phenomenon so he wants to figure it out too

And along the way they dig through the UA library on study dates and dig through the bookstores and dig through the interwebs together

Spending more and more time together, Momo starts to realize she’s feeling something. that is until one night she finds it on the web what star tears mean

Its her unrequited love for Todoroki

And her realizing this just makes it w or s e

Bc the consequence of not having her feelings returned means she goes colour blind

Or you know what, im just gonna alter it and make it more angst. She goes fully blind, ya lets do that.

SO MOMO

Poor bby is grappling with this realization and coming to terms with it all on her own; recognizing that if she doesnt let Todo know after all this time spent together she’s come to love him....... she'll go blind

But ofc its Momo... poor bby selfless Momo....

Her feelings and her own and not a responsibility of Todo to like her back and cure her of this disease so there is NO WAY she’s gonna burden him with that

Plus they’re both too busy tryna be heroes and shouldn’t have this as a distraction

So ofc Momo's not gonna tell Todo

And she cries and cries even more star tears that twinkle in fill her room in the dark like galaxies in the sky.

Its really beautiful.

She'll accept that she'll go blind never to see the face of her loved ones again. Her parents. Her friends....... Todoroki.

And that potentially she might have to give up her dream of being a hero if the blindness compromises it.

But she'll accept that.

The next day she wakes up and cant see a colour

And slowly it begins.......

She loses green first. Its hard to distinguish green from yellow

Then yellow goes

Then orange

Then one by one colour fades over weeks and weeks

Ofc shes not telling anyone.

She fakes it in class, during hero training, during her internship

That when Ochako and Hagakure asks "isnt the colour dress cute?" holding up a lovely chartreus and gold dress, she lies and says yes even though she sees gray

Which breaks her even more

And so she cries alone at night some more star tears

And it keeps going

All the while Todo noticing from beside his desk......

something is off...

But he doesnt ask her. Not yet.

Because after weeks of spending time with her researching, he believes they’re close enough that she'll share with him what’s going on

He didnt question it when she told him "its ok Todoroki san, we can stop researching"

"Did you figure it out?"

"Yes. Its nothing to be concerned about anymore"

He doesnt question it when he notices her in the morning at breakfast,,, the little speckles of star dust glimmering at the corner of her eyes

And he doesnt question himself either when he starts to think the twinkling tears she cries when she thinks she is alone,, makes her look really beautiful

Its those some odd moments when he passes the classrooms on the way back to the dorms at sunset that he sees her alone by the window,, looking out,, as the sun paints the sky reds pinks yellows and oranges,,, that she stares out and star tears fall from her eyes, twinkling in the setting light

And he thinks to himself that she is really beautiful,, a shadow against the setting sun

So he watches and thinks some more

That shes beautiful even without the sunset. Beautiful in class answering the hardest question. Beautiful in battle when her tactics win over her opponent. Beautiful studying when he notices her little motions when shes concentrating.

But while Todo thinks that to himself, Momo cries. Little star tears in her eyes.

She cant see the sunset anymore.

.

.

.

He doesnt think its serious when she tells him to disregard the matter

But when he happens to run into her when visiting his mom at the hospital, and she’s on her way out from the optometry & ophthamology department to get this whole eye thing checked out, thats when he realizes

Oh. This is serious.

And he starts trying to get her to talk but she’s being all avoidy and tight lipped

Cuz from Momo’s doctors’ appointment, the doc told her there’s no cure unless she gets over the feelings herself or her feelings are returned

And really now, she still thinks its her burden to bare not his

So logically the only thing she thinks she can do to slow down the blindness from the tears is to shut down her feelings for him. Put them in a box. And become cold.

Todoroki hates that.

That she’s being avoidant and cold when he knows something is wrong and wants to help her but she is being so not Momo anymore

He wants the kind, loving, selfless, pure hearted, strong Momo he's grown to learn and respect and know back

And that’s when he realizes he really cares for her

Not just admiring her beauty. Or respecting her battle instincts and leadership

That he realizes he really likes her

Perhaps even loves her.

So thats that.

Until its mission time.

Cuz its not angst until someone gets hurt and the other realizes they’ve been keeping a secret all this time sooooooooo

Smth smth UA kids vs a new baddie or minor villian or idk it could be dabi for all i want bc i put dabi in everything lmaooo

But who they’re fighting is not important

The important part is tdmm are on the same team

Maybe deployed as partners even

And theyre fighting back to back against some grunts

And at this point Todo is frustrated he’s not getting through to Momo just after he shook his own world realizing he likes her

And Momo's being all cold but civil and she is completely colour blind.

Theres no undoing the damage in her eyes. She can see in muted muddy tones and grayscale.

So for plot convenience lets say the villain has some kinda colour distortion quirk that mixes up the perception of colour from the true colour in a form of illusion or smth idk

So when the grunts in all black uniform end up attacking them, to Todo and Momo, one looks dressed in red, another in green, others in blues yellows purples

tdmm do pretty well fending them off until Todo notices 3 of them in blue green and purple about to attack Momo at once

And she’s ready to fend them off but doesnt notice a 4th one in red coming in for a swift sneak atttack right behind the green one

But Todo does notice

And he shouts

"YAOYOROZU THE RED ONE"

But she cant tell

And the knife lands deep in her shoulder

And Todo burns the rest to a crisp

You can imagine what the conversation is in the aftermath, when Momo has her shoulder bandaged up and Todo tending his own wounds

"Yaoyorozu.. please be honest with me. Why didnt you avoid the red one when I shouted?"

Because, he knows, that the heroine Creati he's trained along side with for so long would have been able to anticipate the grunts assault

That she would have expected a sneak attack amidst a simultaneous attack

But the fact that she didnt. Couldnt. Avoid it definitely means shes been handicapped

And Momo, upon being asked, hurt and tired from their battle finally relents

She cant lie to him any longer.

"It was because... i couldnt tell. I couldnt distinguish their colours. I havent been able to for a few weeks now.... I've..."

A star tear falls from her eyes.

"I've lost my colour vision Todoroki-san"

Tiny galaxies fall from her eyes as she finally explains to him what these tears are

And Todo is speechless as she talks, only able to hear the twinkles against her words broken against sniffles and hiccups

And when sh’es said all she knows - that this is a disease that will turn her blind, that there is no cure and it comes as a consequence of loving someone who doesnt love you back, that she doesnt want to burden the person she loves with her responsibility, that she has been trying bury her feelings to save herself ...

He finally asks: "Who is it.  Tell me who it is that you love Yaoyorozu"

.

.

.

.

"You. Its you Todoroki-san"

And his heart broke.

He pulls her into a hug,, so tight she thinks she might be crushed

And its his turn to cry against her

Because all this time she was doing this for him

"Im sorry Momo. Im so sorry. You dont have to suffer alone anymore. Because we're partners, long before I even realized it"

"Eh?"

He looks into her eyes, unwavering

"Im in love you too."

The tears that fall from her next are no long starlight.

Epilogue/trivia:

Momo loses her colour vision following the colour wheel starting with green ➡ yellow, orange, red, etc until blue is last to go

Shes most heartbroken about losing red and blue cuz those are the colours she associates with Todo (when she cant see the sunset anymore its when she realizes she lost red and that’s why she’s crying)

Since the damage of the disease cant be restored, she has to deal with greyscale vision for some years

Eventually Eri rewinds it for her once Eri can control her power

but for those some years Momo is so busy!! cuz she goes into genius mode and starts creating (and probably working with Hatsume) vision impairment accessibility tools? Yes

and bc I have an unhealthy obsession with the todofam, Natsuo probably ends up getting a case of the disease for some odd reason if he ever broke up with his gf and Todo upon hearing it is like NO GO TELL HER PLS

He’s not gonna let anyone else on the other end feel the guilt that he did for Momo

> archives masterpost

#todomomo #todoroki shouto #momo yaoyorozu #tdmm star tear au #ruiyukis unfinished aus #sorry not sorry #for spamming the tag #this ones my baby #im so attached to it #much like tdmm learning to love #angst with a happy ending #oops heres a bandaid for your heart

[starryknightace]

I had Top Surgery! (Post Op 1 1/2 Weeks pics)

[[MORE]]

Suprise! I had top surgery almost 2 weeks ago. It was a bit of a process to get to that point and i was literally counting down the hours til i went under. I kept joking to people i was most excited about my "induced 4 hour nap" more than anything. I got to my day surgery clinic early in the morning, to which i got changed into scrubs, was told to wait under a blanket to keep my body warm, and met with the nurse, anesthetist and my surgeon for pre op discussions. Then i was escorted into the operation theatre where i hopped on the table, got nice and comfy with blankets, tubes, oxygen mask annnnddd.... woke up 4 hours later forgetting i had surgery 🤣

I did this in my last surgery (which in comparission was more terrifying cause i had blood in my mouth and couldnt remember what happened to me), but i woke up and couldn't work out where i was, why i felt so dizzy and how i got clothed 🤣 i spent about 2 hours in the recovery room sat in a recliner chair dozing off, except to eat (cause i had been fasting prior) and drink. I did try to pee but couldn't which was frustrating 😅 then i was taken home, where i promptly went to sleep lol

I had my drains in for 72 hours and they were the worst part of recovery. I carried bottles in a pillow case and they had be be positioned lower than my chest at all times. Luckily i wasn't able to move much and while i was on strong pain medication i mainly slept. I had my mum stay with me for a week and i'm thankful she did cause she really saved my butt by doing everything for me (i really had to let go of my control which was weirdly hard, i just felt bad making her do things for me but she was happy to). The drains were uncomfortable and by the morning there were to be taken out i was really hurting where they were inserted. After they were taken out it was a blessing and recovery got A LOT easier. I had shallow baths every few days and my mum helped me was my hair. I had baby wipes for my armpits and chest area which again saved me from being stinky. I still mainly slept, or watched tv shows with my mum up until she left. She prepped me a LOT of meals before she left so i wouldn't have to cook.

Sleeping on my back was probably the most uncomfortable part (after the drains), because i'm a stomach sleeper. I have been managing to sleep though which has been nice (and Maple has been good, sleeping beside me all through the night!). I've been sleeping elevated to help with swelling. I actually got told off by my nurse while doing my week post op check up cause i was still doing too much. I went to Uni for a 6 hour workshop that day too and went to a costume showcase that night. Safe to safe i was exhausted the next day and didnt do much but sleep.

So i'm still quite swollen and bruised 1 1/2 weeks in, which will eventually settle down. my nipples seem to be taking well so crossing fingers the blood returns. I was worried about puckering but being able to closely examine my chest it's due to the swelling at the moment so hopefully that goes down too.

All in all i can't stop smiling at my chest - i finally feel like myself 😁

Some tips for those looking to have Top Surgery based on my experience:

MEDICINE

I have a high pain threshold - i was willing to go to uni a week post op because i could stand to - would recommend people booking off at LEAST 3 weeks prior to work/study if you can help it. I have only one class per week at the moment and its only theory so thats why i was able to travel and even then i was taken pain killers ever 4 hours.

In my mother's words "don't be a hero, if you need to take pain relief, do it". Best advice. I've weened myself off pain killers to 2 just before bed (panadine forte), or before i need to go out and do things (genral paracetamol). If you need to take more just do it - also write down when you've taken things (because its good to know how much you've had per day!) You can take iburofen and paracetamol intermittedly in 4 hour intervals (eg. Iburofen at 12pm, paracetamol at 2pm, another dose of iburofen at 4pm, etc).

You'll also be taking antibiotics - generally 3 times a day with meals. I also took probiotics 2 hours after taking my antibiotics to avoid the sideaffects of them (eg. Mouth Ulcers (which i did get dang it), thrush, etc).

I was also taking strong pain killers (for the first few days i took 2 every 4 hours then weened down to one per night). Be careful with strong pain killers - the thing doctors/people don't tend to mention is that they can be addictive/dependent drugs. Sometimes you would prefer to keep taking them and that can be an issue. I asked my surgeon at my 1 week if i could please get one more script of something a little stronger than paracetamol to take a night and it took a bit more of a discussion to get it. If you can try to get by on the paracetamol alone do so and remember you can alternate with iburofen every two hours.

WEIRD BOWELS

With all these medications you'll more than likely get constipated so adding to the list of medications i also took good ol' laxatives. The first poop after surgery was like 3 days later and it hurt 😅 the laxatives helped me after to soften my stools (cheat mode is when you're lactose intolerent and you eat a bunch of cheesecake whoops 😅). Also peeing was weird for the first week due to the anesthestics in me. It took me ages to pee, sometimes i had the feeling of needing to pee but nothing happened, and i was peeing like, every hour.

SUPPORT

Both in furniture sense and people sense.

My mum was my main support especially in the first week. She looked after me, my house and my cat. She grabbed things i couldn't access, drove me to my appointments, managed my medicine, cooked me food and generally just helped me around the place. Originally i only wanted her there for a few days but im glad she was there cause i was sore and out of it most of the time. Alongside her my two best friends were also a massive help - coming over to keep me company, drive me places, help me do my grocery shopping, tell me off for overdoing it, gave me plenty of entertainment (thanks to katie i finished wind waker!). Get yourself some support and let go of that control, you will honestly be too tired and sore to do anything anyway.

Make sure you get yourself some comfy pillows. I got myself a U shaped pillow and it has so far saved my neck so much pain. I sleep elevated which means more pillows to prop myself up. And pillows for my couch.

WASHING

So for the first 72 hours i was just a gross gremlin with dry shampoo because of the drains. My chest was covered in bandages so i couldn't wash that area anyway. After the drains were removed i was told i could have showers, but i opted for shallow bathes anyway. I was able to wash myself fine (just go slow), then i would put pants on and get my mum to help wash my hair. After my 1 week check up i started having showers, but stood out of the stream. I only have tape to cover my stitches now (i took them off for the photo) so am able to carefully wash parts of my chest and back i couldnt get to before. I can now wash my hair (slowly). Raising my arms is still not easily fesable but i can lift them to a certain point.

EMOTIONAL

Now, i wasn't as emotional as i thought i was going to be but i do know other trans guys who said they went through bouts of depression after their surgery. Its something to look out for. For me, it was emotionally draining to talk to people about it constantly. I didn't mind though and it was nice people checked up on me but it did wear me out. Its always good though to check in with your emotional state throughout to see how youre feeling. It's not an inmediate grattification, the swelling and bruising is a lot and it won't look right for a while. Also leading up to surgery people can feel fearful and doubtful, always chat to a loved one about your feelings! Personally i had no nerves leading up to surgery but afterwards i was constantly worried that i wasn't healing right. Talking to your surgeon will HELP trust me!

SCARRING

Ok this was a big shock to me so i hope this helps other people but scar medication/ointments don't actually work. I asked my surgeon about it and as a skin professional who has been studying the effects of scarring for over 40 years - this is a beauty scam you don't need to bite into.

"Time and your genetic biology are the only ways that help your scars heal, sorry to burst your bubble but save your money on that placebo".

Looking after yourself the first few months post op will help you get good results later.

Of course i understand if people will still want to buy scarring products but thought i would post the words of a professional too 😅 don't shoot the messenger on this one. And if you do decide to use the stuff then wait 6 months before doing so.

I think that's all i can think of at the moment. There's a really good private facebook group for top surgery and i got a lot of my info from there. If people are curious feel free to DM me, send me an inbox and i'd be happy to chat as best i can! My experience is based in Australia so people might have different expectations/experiences in different countries!

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈💛💛💛🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

#top surgery #ftm #transition #transgender #mascetomy #surgery #post surgery #gender transformation #gts #gender transformation surgery #tumblr dont shoot me there are no nip nops and no mentions of milk sacts flesh #long post #long read #under the cut #double mascetomy #double incision

[reeree1500]

The Return- Part 10

Disclaimer: YALL IM SO SO SO SORRY.😭😭 I have been horrible and not updated this story for at least a month.😬 I can explain though... University has been kicking my ass and between that and my co-op placement at a law firm.😅 Ive had absolutely no time to do anything😩 BTW IVE MISSED YALL SO MUCH❤️And Ive read all your messages and asks. And yes my mental health is now better and y'all are so understanding and supportive 💕 honestly could not have asked for a better group of individuals☺️❤️

Part 1 part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9 Part 11 

Anyways onto the storyyyyy.....

Warnings: ANGSTY AF (kinda figured out that im probably a smut and angst writer at this point🤷🏽‍♀️), sucky ass grammar and spelling like always, my cliche imagination and the fact that Im probably a horrible human being😬😩 Also made it extra long cuz I felt baddd 

PLEASE DONT KILL ME FOR THIS ONE😬

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @camatsuru @youbloodymadgenius @calum-hoodwinked-me @cutegyrl927 @wuxiesalt @readsalot73 @cindy-exo @affection-rabbit @amy8220 @mel0nch0ly @queenofallthyfandoms @limbo-limbo-limbo @ragnarssonsbitch @supernaturalvikingwhore @ifihadwings128 @paintballkid711 @jenny-the-lover @funmadnessandbadassvikings @blonddnamedhandz @hallowed-heathen @pinkrockstar19 @ivarthethiccness

Sorry if I missed any of you💕 Lemme know if you want to be tagged. Also requests are open, and I’ve got a ton of them to do and finish. Hopefully Ill be able to post them soon enough

Arthur’s POV

“Arthur please! Open the door my love, I know what it may seem like to you, but I assure you that its not.” (Y/n) pleaded from the other side. I sat down on the mattress in our chamber contemplating whether or not it was true. Should I believe what my wife so desperately is trying to reassure me off. Or should I stick with my gut feeling and tell her how I have felt for the last 4 years. Her constant pounding on the door finally gets to me and I make my way to open it. “I wish to be left alone at the moment (y/n).” Her arms circle around my waist and I can feel her face wetting by back with tears. “Arthur please, talk to me. Why have you run off. You know that I love you. I do not want him, all he does is bring me pain and you take that away. So please, talk to me!” (y/n) murmurs into my back. As much as it pains me to do so I pry her hands off of me and sit us down on the bed. All I do is long for her touch, but this is not okay. I cannot keep feeling this way and go on pretending that I could have ever stood a chance against him. “(y/n), look at me. I love you and I always will. But its evident that you love him. and I honestly can say that I know I will never stand a chance against him, because the thought of you possibly running back to him has always been on my mind since the day we got married.” 

Her eyes showed so much pain that confessing this felt as if I was driving a knife through her heart. “Arthur, I love you. What can I do to show you that. Yes I confess that I was in love with him, but that was long ago and I have left it in the past in order to build a future with you. Whom I love and who I share and will continue to share beautiful children with. So please don't shut me out, Arthur.” She says leaning our foreheads together and holding my face in her gentle hands. “Ok, however I want to be able to process things by myself. So I have decided to have the guest room across the hall prepared only until I figure things out.” With out giving her a chance to fight back, I place my lips on hers and savour the kiss as if it were our last. Meeting her eyes was something I wanted to avoid as I knew that just looking at her broken expression would make me change my mind. I hastily make my way out of the room, but sneak a quick glance over my shoulder to find my wife staring off into the direction where I once sat. With tears streaming down her eyes...

Your POV

What had I done? Why was I such fool to not see what my husband was clearly going through? Millions of questions rushed into my mind about how to go about this situation. I loved Arthur, I was clear on that. But he spoke the truth, there was something in me that could not let Ivar go and it took hurting my husband and Ivar to figure that out. As I sulked I forgot about the doctor whom I had asked to see me earlier. I was having really bad stomach pains and my breasts were more tender then they had ever been. So I wanted to make sure that I was not sick, as that would have been the last thing I needed on my plate at the moment. “My Queen, are you alright? Do you wish to push back this appointment, I dont mind coming by later when you're better.” The doctor spoke from behind me. “Yes, it seems so. Ill let the servant girl know if I need you doctor. Im sorry for the inconvenience.” “Nonsense your majesty, it is my pleasure to serve you.” With a bow the doctor retreats from the room and Im left to my own thoughts once again...

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“(y/n), wake up... its seems that you fell asleep on the floor. Come on I’ll help you up.” Upon hearing Hvitty’s comforting voice my eyes flutter open and I cant help the tears that song come down my face like a cascade. “(y/n)! are you alright are you hurt anywhere? Why are you crying?” Hvitserk’s eyes scan my face and my body looking for the source of my pain, which is held in my heart, but he’ll never know that. “Arthur... He...” I try to find the words to say. “What! What did he do! Did he hurt you? I swear ill kill him!” With that Hvitserk tries to let me go and run out the door, but somehow I manage to stop him. “Hvitserk, No! He didn't hurt me. I hurt him... He believes that Im in love with Ivar, and I fear that their maybe some truth to it...” I say just above a whisper, with my head held low. “(Y/N), Ive known that since before you were married. It was obvious, but I would never say anything to you because I found that it was best if I kept such observations to myself, before I found out about your father.” Lifting my head and staring directly at him, I move my head to the side with a puzzling look. “What do you mean about my father, Hvitserk?” Hvitserk now mirrors the same lost look that I have on my face. “I thought thats why you and Ivar had gotten together, because Ragnar’s not your father...”

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Ivar’s POV

“Aghhhh!”Is the sound that comes out of my gritted teeth when the medicinal herbs are placed on my face. “That hurts like a bitch, get out! Ill do this myself if I have to. GO!” I yell at the servant girl who tried to cleanse and tend to the cuts on my face. “Ivar,  please let the servants tend to you. I still cannot believe that Arthur punched you in the face. Hehehe, you deserved it though, how could you question the paternity of his children and not expect him to want to kill you?” Bjorn laughs as he chugs the rest of his drink down. “Well, if you actually cared about your children and the heir to your throne, you’d also be quite upset to find a Christian King claiming to be their father. Those children are mine! And its pretty evident, just look at Marjorie. She's my spitting image.” I snarl at him as the anger begins to rise in me again. “Ivar, thats your mistake and why you’ll never get (y/n) back. You believe that everything should be yours. And that people are things you can govern over, but they're not. Because those are children. And yes they may be yours, but you cannot take away what they have known because you want to be selfish.” He says with a stern look on his face, whilst getting up from his chair and making his way to the door. “Now get ready and fix yourself we have a intimate dinner to attend to with MY sister and the love of your life.” Unbeknownst to us, there was Freydis on the balcony listening to our whole conversation. And little did I know that it would come to be the thing I regretted the most.

At the dinner I notice (y/n) sit on the opposite side of the table from Arthur. This wouldn't have affected me if it wasn't for the look on both of their faces. They seemed distraught and broken. Arthur masked it well, but (y/n) was an open book for all of us to know exactly how she felt at that moment. Not much talking happened, besides Marjorie and Erik shouting at each other on who was better at riding. They reminded me a lot of myself and all I wanted was to tell them the truth, that they were my children and that they would go back to Kattegat with me to learn about the true gods and not the fable that had been told to them about their so called ‘God’.” “(Y/n) are you alright, you do not seem quite like yourself tonight.” Bjorn states with a concerned look that we all share. Even Arthur looks a bit concerned, but his body language makes it seem as if he is alright and nothing is wrong. “Sarah, could you please put Marjorie and Erik to bed? Its getting late for them and they have their lessons early in the morning.” She says with a stern and cold look in her (e/c) eyes. “Su...sure your majesty. “ At that Bjorn stands up as if to accompany Sarah, but is quickly stopped by (y/n)’s icy glare and venomous words. “Sit your ass down.” At that we all look astonished, but Hvitserk only stares at her with sadness and what seems to be sympathy. He must know why she is like this then. 

Bjorn slowly sits back down on the table. A shocked look graces his face, as he cannot comprehend why she is acting this way towards her beloved older brother. “How long.” Is all she grits out through her teeth. “What do you mean, (y/n)?” My eyes meet Hvitserk’s own and the realization dawns upon me. She knows...

--------------------------

Your POV

“Stop with the bullshit! I cannot take anyone else lying to me!” I scream as I bang my hands against the table, stunning everyone in sight. “How long did you know that Ragnar was not my father! How long have you kept the truth from me! How long have you known that Athelstan was my father!” I could careless about everyone staring at me as if I was a mad woman. I had been lied to my whole life. All I had known had been a lie, and the people who I trusted the most in this world had been the ones keeping it a secret from me. “(Y/N)... I..I’ve know since the moment you were born. But father had sworn me into secrecy and I could not break a promise. This doesn't change anything though. You are still my sister and you will always be.” Bjorn says in a haste as tries to come closer to me, but I step back and move as far back as I can. “Did you know? Tell me! Ivar did you know that we were not siblings!” Ivar didn't even have to answer. I knew from the look in his eyes that he too had been lying to me. 

“I knew.” Arthur says staring right at me. “I knew that you weren't his daughter and I knew that Ivar wasn't your brother. But I kept that information from you because all I wanted to do was have you by my side. I’m sorry, for the pain I have caused you (y/n). Im sorry for being selfish and not telling you the truth, but I now see that I was wrong and as of tomorrow you are free to go back to your country. I promise that your title and lands will not be taken from you or from the children. May they be mine or his. But I cannot go on with this facade anymore.” Arthur says in the most calm demeanour as he stands up and comes to me. “You hypocrite! How dare you make me feel like shit for harbouring feelings for Ivar when you knew all along and knew that my whole life was a lie.” I scream as I run at him and slap him across the face. But before I can get another punch in I feel a strong grip holding me from behind. From the shocks and the utter feeling in my stomach I knew it could have only been Ivar. As I try desperately to release from his vice grip, my whole world comes crashing down when Sarah enters the room. With blood all over her.

“Your highnesses...Erik.... he.. he..” She tries to say through her shock. “What! What is wrong with my son!” Ivar, Arthur and I scream at the same time. “He.. he’s dying!”

------------------------------------------------

We all simultaneously run after Sarah towards the doctors quarters. Ivar with his brace on, manages to run faster than all of us and busts the doors wide open. if I wasn't so worried about my son or upset about the fact they all knew Ragnar wasn't my father, I would've been impressed. “What are you doing! Get away from my son!” At that Ivar rushes towards the doctor who is bleeding Erik out. Grabbing him by the collar he slams the doctor on the wall and his sclera go into bluish hue, showing that he is in danger of breaking a bone. “Ivar stop it! Let the man go, he is just trying to help.” “Help my ass! I will not let you harm my son, do you understand me! I will not let you harm him!” At that Ivar lets the doctor go, but not without staring him down. And the doctor looking like he is about to shit himself. Rushing to Erik’s side I notice something strange. The colour of his skin is now fading and his eyes have bags under them. But what hits me the most is the memory of Uncle Rollo teaching me about poison. “He doesn't need to be bled, he needs medicine. He’s been poisoned...” 

“Mama! What is wrong with Erik! He will be okay right? He has to be okay!” Marjorie begins to say as she shakes with fear. Before Arthur or I could say something to console her, Ivar bends down and takes her hands in his. “Marjorie, listen to me. Your brother is a fighter and so are you. After all were related aren't we?” Ivar says as he lifts her chin. “Yes..I suppose that we are. Is it true what they say though? Are you our father?” At that Ivar turns to me looking towards me for permission. At this point I think to myself how hard it was to learn my whole life had been a lie and that I would not want that for my children, so I nod. “Yes, Marjorie I am your father. And no your mother is not my sister. It was something that we had to say because she needed to be kept safe.” He says ever so calmly. “Safe from who?”She questions “From my mother. Your grandmother.”

Cough*Cough* Spurts of blood cover me in seconds. My attention becomes focused in on my son again. “Where is the damn antidote! Please someone hurry!” At that Hvitserk runs into the room with a small green vial. “Here take this it should help him. Lagertha gave it to me before her and father left. Something about it would come in handy some day. Here.” Shoving the vial in my hands I open it quickly and lift Erik’s head. “Drink this Erik. It should help you, my darling. Please be strong, I know you're scared, but you’ll be alright ok. Everything will be ok.” I say through tears. Today had been the worst day by far. “Mira... please help my son. I know you're always with me, but please help me now. Pray for my son and ask God to save him.”

----------------------------------------

A few hours had gone by and nobody had moved from the room. Arthur sat on the chair next to the bed with his elbows on his knees, looking straight and focused in on Erik. Bjorn and Hvitserk sat by the fireplace and were wetting some towels so that we could place them atop Eriks head. I sat on the bed next to my son and caressed his beautiful face hoping for a miracle. I had dismissed Sarah and told her to take Marjorie with her, but she would not budge. Sarah left, but Marjorie stayed and sat in Ivars lap asking him if Erik would pull through. Ivar was sweet to answer as best as he could, and I could tell that he truly cared for his children even if his demeanour wasn't the greatest. I knew that deep in my heart I would have to let him get to know them, but it still hurt especially knowing that he now was married. “Wait, where is Freydis? I haven't seen her since yesterday.” I say looking towards Ivar. “I dont know earthier to be honest, she's probably looking at some damn flowers anyway. Its best if she's far away anyway.” “Why would you say that about your wi-” “she's not my wife, at least not yet. Were not actually married, (y/n). I just said that to piss you off.” Taking a deep breath I go to stand up from the bed in order to fetch a bucket of water and some new cloths. Instead I end up on the floor cradling my belly, with a burning sensation in my chest and blood pouring out from my mouth. “(Y/n)! Mama!” I can hear the shouts around me. “Fetch the doctor! Now hurry!” The voices around me begin to fade and not before long I can feel myself drifting away.

“My baby... Save my baby...” And with that everything turns pitch black...

#vikings #vikings history channel #vikings fanfiction #vikings fandom #ivar #ivar the boneless #vikings ivar #ivar lothbrok #ivar x reader #ivar the god #bjorn #Bjorn Ironside #bjorn lothbrok #bjorn x reader #Hvitserk #vikings hvitserk #hvitserk x reader #hvitty #Ragnar Lothbrok #ragnarsdottir #ragnar x lagertha #lagertha #requests are open #arthur pendragon #arthur #king arthur

[sharpnothashtag]

The Good Ship CrushWay, Chapter 30

Author’s Note: I needed some time away from that last story.  Call it a mid-season break, if you’ll allow it.  Now, for something I’ve wanted to do for literal years. (Yes, the stardate is going to be inaccurate because as much as I want to care about it, I don’t.  Two years have passed since chapter 1; six months have passed since chapter 29.  That’s all you need to know.)

Seven is walking through the corridors, nodding at doctors who smile at her.

Seven: Personal log, stardate 97770.33.  Admiral Paris has called myself, Captain Janeway, B’Elanna Torres, Tom Paris, the Doctor, and a few people I have not yet met to an early morning meeting.  It is rather inconvenient timing, as I was beginning to incorporate a new aspect to the filing system that would improve its efficiency.  Now, until I am permitted to return to my duties, the system will remain in its current state of disarray.  

Seven walks up to a door.  She rings the chime. 

KJ: Come! Seven: (enters, it’s a conference room.  KJ is seated near the head of the table. Seven nods in acknowledgement.) Captain. KJ: Good morning, Seven.   Seven: How was your sleep? KJ: Beverly woke me up snoring.  (drowning her yawns in coffee.  ...) Since when do you care? Seven: The Doctor and I have been talking about little talk.  It seems an inefficient way of communication, but the Doctor tells me it is seen as polite. KJ: It’s called “small talk,” Seven.  And I am perfectly fine to sit in silence--my restless night has left me rather cantankerous this morning.  (Seven nods in acknowledgement.  They have one more moment of silence before Tom and B’Elanna enter.  They see the way the Captain is chugging her coffee and decide not to comment.  They have a seat as well.  AP enters, smiling warmly.)

AP: Good morning, all.  Tom, would you mind bringing the Doctor up on this panel so we can begin? Tom: Yes, sir.  Will there be anyone else joining us, sir? AP: Yes, but I need to brief you all on your mission first. Tom: Understood, sir.  (He goes to the panel, presses a few buttons, and the EMH appears.) EMH: Good morning, Lieutenant Paris.   Tom: Good morning, Doctor. AP: Good morning, all.  I’m so glad to see you all again.  You all know I don’t like to beat around the bush, and there isn’t much time before you need to leave.  I’ll be brief.  We’ve managed to narrow down the location of the Voyager crew to a section of M class planets toward the border of the Delta and Alpha Quadrants.  We’ve not been able to communicate, but the homing signal they sent finally reached us.  According to his report, there were several minor injuries, but the planet they landed on had a benevolent species that took pity on them and helped them get to a stable position.  They, as far as I know, are waiting to be rescued, as the escape pods were very badly damaged in the landing.  We’re giving you a ship to bring back your crew. (brings up an image.  smiling)  Friends, this is the USS Ohana. KJ: (smiling) Family.  Family means no one gets left behind. AP: She’s intrepid class, just like Voyager.  She should have more than enough space to get all of you back in one piece. KJ: She’s beautiful.  When do we leave? AP: Well, as soon as your new crew members get here. Seven: New crew members? AP: Yes.  First, (pulling up a headshot) your head of security and first officer, Lieutenant Commander Tasha Yar.   KJ: Yes, she can cover that and tactical until we get to Tuvok.  That still leaves Ops, assuming that Tom will be covering the helm. AP: Your new Ops officer, Ensign Ro Laren (headshot).  I will warn you, Captain.  Both women are extremely opinionated and headstrong. KJ: Outspoken, are they?  They’ll fit it well.  (as if on cue, the doorbell chimes.) AP: Come! (Tasha and Ro enter.) KJ: (to Tasha) Commander Yar, yes? Tasha: Lieutenant Commander, but yes.  Tasha Yar.   AP: Report to cargo bay 4 in 2 hours.  Dismissed.  Tasha: (to KJ) Good to meet you, sir. KJ: Just “Captain” is fine.  I’ll be calling you “Number One.” (They all walk toward the Turbolift together.)

Tasha: I am honored.  Captain Picard used to call Commander Riker that. KJ: You served aboard the Enterprise? Tasha: Yes, many years ago.  I left for another position on a smaller ship that had the opportunity of advancement; Captain Picard gave me his blessing, as he and Captain Anton Farley were in the academy together. (smirking) He said I could learn a good deal from him. KJ: It’s a long story, but I became “Number One” after Commander Riker left for his position aboard The Excalibur. Ensign Ro, is it? Ro: Yes, Captain.  Thank you for using my proper name. KJ: No need to thank me for common decency. Commander Chakotay taught me well.   B’Elanna: Speaking of Chakotay, where is he? Seven: He is on an extended spirit quest.  He left messages with Starfleet Command that he would be back in a few months.  Admiral Paris felt it best to respect his religious practices and appoint you instead, Commander Yar. Ro: Now, Chakotay, why do I know that name? B’Elanna: It’s been a long time, but he and I fought with the Maquis against the Cardassians. Ro: But you aren’t Bajoran. B’Elanna: But Starfleet sure as hell didn’t give a damn.  We knew what needed to be done, and so we went to help, no matter what that meant. 

(Tasha and Ro share a look.  They’re uncomfortable and that is clear.  They certainly aren’t going to acknowledge what’s bothering them here. The turbolift comes and we are back with KJ and Bev.)

Bev: You’re going to call me every day at lunch, right? KJ: Of course.  I looked at the coordinates briefly--it doesn’t seem like it will be that long of a trip as far as navigation goes.  The species Tuvok has befriended seems docile and willing to learn from us according to his report.  I’d say I’ll be back in a month. Bev: Every day, Kate. KJ: 1200 hours.  We’ll keep up.  And when I get back, you’ll get to meet my crew. Bev: When you get back, can we tell your mom about us? KJ: (stopping dead in her tracks) Tell my mom? Bev: I don’t have parents to tell that I’m happy.  My closest friends and family already know you, especially since Wesley finally came to see me and you met him.  It’s time for your mom to know. KJ: I know it’s time.  I’m just worried that if we tell her, she’s going to fall apart.  It’s only been 6 months since Phoebe died. Bev: Her daughter is happy.  How could she “fall apart” over that? KJ: I don’t know.  I guess I’m just scared.   Bev: We’ll make a trip to see her and tell her in person.  It’ll be fun!  Plus I’ll finally get to meet Molly and Rocco.  I’ve been excited about that for a long time. KJ: Molly and Rocco will love you, and so will my mom after knowing that you’re my girlfriend.  (leaning in to kiss her) Just like I love you now.  (in each other’s arms) You’re the most loving, loyal, positive, funny, and sarcastic person I’ve ever known.  I love you. Bev: I love you, too.   KJ: I need to go. Bev: Do you have to? (starting to go in for another kiss)  KJ: I might have 15 minutes or so...(going in for a kiss on the neck) Bev: Good.  That’s just enough time.

Tasha is packing.  Ro enters.

Ro: Tasha, are we not going to talk about this? Tasha: There’s nothing left to talk about. Ro: Yes, there is.  We’re going to rescue some former Maquis. Tasha: Former Maquis who then became Starfleet officers. Ro: (sitting down on the bed) Tash, I need a friend right now. Tasha: A Maquis wanting to befriend a Starfleet officer? Ro: Will you just shut UP about that?!  (Tasha takes a deep breath and sits down next to her.) I defected to the Maquis, yes.  That’s only because I saw my people suffering.  I saw myself as a little girl again.  I couldn’t watch other people watch their fathers die like I did.  I just couldn’t.   Tasha: Listen...I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.  I was hurting for a long time.  You and I were really happy, and then you defected.  It felt personal. Ro: You know it’s not. Tasha: I saw the way you were looking at that Kira Nerys.  Don’t tell me that had nothing to do with it. Ro: That’s just it!  Kira had nothing to do with it. Tasha: Bullshit. Ro: Ok.  But not in the way you’re thinking.  She understood my passion for Bajor.  She knew that Starfleet couldn’t help me with that. Tasha: And that’s where the problem really is--you think that I didn’t understand, or that I couldn’t.  I grew up outrunning rape gangs, Ro.  I know what it’s like to have an unsafe, miserable childhood. Ro: But you don’t know what it is to have someone else understand that and be able to help you through that.  Be able to give you something to do about it. Tasha: ...I thought I did.  I really thought I did. (Tasha gets up from the bed and starts to finish up her packing.) Ro: Tasha. Tasha: Dismissed, Ensign.  (Ro sighs.  She looks at Tasha longingly one more time.  She leaves.)

Seven is in the Medical facility.  It’s clear she’s stressed out. Erin: Annika, just let me take care of that while you’re away. Seven: My name is not Annika any longer. Erin: What should your designation be, then? Seven: Seven of Nine is more than appropriate, even if it is a bit vague. Erin: Seven, please.  Just let me take care of the records while you’re gone. Seven: You won’t know what to do. Erin: Yes, I will. Seven: (stops what she’s doing) Show me. (Erin does the same sequence of events Seven has been doing.) You have forgotten to capitalize Biquv’s name under “assigned counselor.” Erin: But is the rest of it up to your standards? Seven: It is...passable.  Thank you, Erin. Erin: You’re welcome. (Seven starts to walk away.) I was wanting to talk to you. Seven: (Stops, turns on her heels.  slightly annoyed.) Proceed. Erin: We didn’t get the time to be mother and daughter.  When you return, could we start getting to know each other? Seven: When I return, I will have many things to do.   Erin: But you have to eat.  We could at least eat together. Seven: (taking a deep breath) We will attempt conversation once a week. Erin: Five times. Seven: Three. Erin: Sold.  Now hurry--your mission can’t wait.

[little-dragon-stories]

Forever linked Part 5: Pizza and Pasta

Fake text (mostly) and scenario serie pairing Kwon Jiyong and his ex-girlfriend.

After a hurtful breakup she didn’t see coming, y/n is back in her country. But soon, she discovers that the man she has to forget is now linked to her, forever.

WC: 3369

It was the middle of the afternoon and you’ve decided to take a little nap. This morning you’ve cleaned the furnished apartment that you temporary rent. You wanted to make it clean and fresh because tomorrow, Jiyong is supposed to come. You’ve talked on the phone and via texts with him multiple of times during the week. He reacted exactly as you predicted at the announcement. At the beginning he was unsured and anxious but after the initial shock he took his responsibility and he even seems to be happy. Jiyong will never turn his back on his own child or even not on you, you were always convicted about that. If you need him, he will be there for you in a way or another. You would do the same for him. What you shared together is too precious to just stop caring.

Daesung called you too this week. You were surprised because normally Jiyong cannot keep a secret for himself more than 1 hour but he didn’t mention the pregnancy to Dae. And it was not suppose to be a secret at all. To be honest, you don’t know how to interpret this. Dae asked you if you will come live in South Korea again, he misses you and cannot found a replacement since you are not working with him anymore. He wants his favorite teacher to come back and practice his drum skills again. Of course he asked you at least 100 times if he can “please pretty please be the godfather”.  He was also very surprised by the fact Ji didn’t mention the pregnancy but as he said «Jiyong hyung has changed a lot since your separation». You decided that it was not of your business anymore and didn’t ask him what he meant by that.

You and Daesung always had that special connection together. He was the first Bigbang member you got to know. One day, he called the music school where you worked and set an appointment for a private drum lesson. He was your second student in South Korea, that country you decided to start a new life in 5 years ago.  For one year, you’ve seen Dae in person or via facetime when he was out of the country, to teach him new drum techniques. Even though you keep telling him he was good enough to fly on his own, he stick by your side and always asked you some advices. Those drum sessions with him when you were both jamming together has become the beginning of a close friendship and from a thing to another, he introduced you to his members backstage one night after a show in Seoul. As soon as he introduced you to his leader, it was love at first sight and it was evident for everybody that saw you interact together that night.  Dae noticed the mutual attraction, the tension between you and Ji, so he managed to place you between him and Jiyong when you shared a meal all together after the show. He was a real angel, but not subtle at all.  Ji and you noticed his attempts to get you closer and your started to mock Dae together, already accomplices. That’s how everything started between you.

Sleeping peacefully on your back after that tiring morning, you felt a movement beside you on the bed. Then a soft kiss settles on your temple. Then an arm tighten your waist softly, you willl recognise that touch for the rest of your life. It’s him, it’s Ji. The man that you love and cherish with all your heart.  Jiyong’s hand found its way on you, lifting up your shirt to caress the soft skin under, palm flat on your belly just above the belly button at the exact place your baby has his little nest . You realized very fast you were not dreaming. 

“Jiyong? You were supposed to arrive tomorrow”.

Another kiss on your temple. Another gentle caress on your belly. A nose that found it’s natural place in the crook of your neck.

“I couldn’t wait any longer Kkul. Go back to sleep, let’s nap together like we used to do. I am jetlag already”.

Being pregnant, on your second trimester was suppose to be a wonderful period but you were exhausted all the time. You decided to do as Jiyong said and close your eyes, his hand softly caressing your tummy over and over again.  Those hands that always made you feel home, loved and safe.  You can only let them caress you, even if now the sensation is more bitter than sweet now.

When you open your eyes again, it’s dark outside. The fairy lights that you hung at the head of the bed are lit. Jiyong is still asleep. He didn’t move a bit, laying on his right side.  Ever since you know him, he was always sleeping like this, not moving at all as soon as he close his eyes. Sometimes his immobility was almost scaring you. You needed to make sure he was still alive by placing a finger under his nose to see if he was still breathing or feeling his heartbeat with your hand on his chest. He was moving his arms to drag you closer, to caress you or hold your waist but almost never to change his initial position. The way he sleep didn’t change since your breakup. Tonight, it’s face to face, his arm as a pillow under your head, your nose on his chest and legs intertwined that you wake up.

You know that even if you move, he won’t wake up so you stand up and decide to go take a quick shower. You were reading your maternity book when you hear him call your name, another habit he has as soon as he woke up and you were not with him. Those memories made your heart heavy but you won’t tell him that.

“Yaaa, Kkulie! Where are you? I am alone here”, he whined.

“I am in the living room, come”. You smiled as you answered. He didn’t change at all.

He came and sit close to you on the couch, again a kiss on your temple. That is something different from before. Normally, he would have kiss your lips and from a simple peck to another, the kiss would have become deeper.  Ji and you were always very intimate, physically close to each other. Whenever you were together, you had that need to touch, kiss and hug each other. Of course not always sexually, just to be in contact. To connect together. Jiyoung body was your home and yours was his. Sometimes, he could caress your earlobe for hours as he was composing beside you. Those long nights, he were even taking off your earrings to have full access to your earlobe. That proximity, that intimacy with somebody, you don’t believe that you will have it ever again, it’s too special.

You served him a hot tea from the stone teapot on the coffee table.

“Thank you kkul”.  At this point, there is no need to ask him to stop calling you this. He won’t, probably by habit.

“How was your flight?”

“Tiring…”

“Yeah, I know. I hate to take the plane, I hate that I have to wait...»

He doesn’t say a word and look at you, thinking. You know him by heart, he’s upset. It’s not gonna take long for him to talk so you just wait a little longer.

“I am deceived. Really”. He says after a short 5 seconds.

“What do you mean?” You asked him..

“Well, you’re almost 16 weeks pregnant now and you lost weight”.

“Oooh, that?” You said shyly, looking down.

“Are you eating? Do you feed the baby?” You know he don’t want to accuse you of anything, he’s just concerned for the baby’s health and yours. Hopefully, he knows you are doing your best as a caring person. What are you gonna tell him? You have never lied to him so you decided that you won’t start today.

“Jiyong, when you left me, I had a hard time. I cried a lot, that’s when I start to lose weight. Then we made that baby about a month later… then I got pregnant. What I thought were “heartbroken” symptoms were actually effects of the pregnancy. I didn’t have the classic morning sickness, I was just nauseous all the time and I was really tired. I thought I was depressed because of the break-up so I didn’t force myself to eat.”

“Do you think the baby lacked vitamins?”

“We’ll see in 2 days for sure but the doctor were not scared at all, he took measurements of my uterus and it seems to fit with the dates of the conception, when we had sex the month after the breakup. If the baby was conceived when we were still together, then I don’t know what it means. We’ll have to wait 2 days for the ultrasound. Now I eat, don’t worry, I actually eat for 3!”

“Ok, please do so”.

You both sip your tea in silence for a few minutes.

“I am glad to be here kkul, really. Please, tell me everything that happens to my little one. Please involve me in all the steps of our baby’s life even though I don’t deserve it”.

“Jiyong, why would you say such a thing, you didn’t do anything wrong”.

“I broke up with you and then I got you pregnant”.

You smiled.

“If I remember correctly, I was there too that ultimate night! And all those nights, well nights and days and… you know! I was never against the idea at all, I was never forced”.

“I know but still… We should have been more careful”.

“Jiyong, if you regret, I will declare that the baby has no father on the birth certificate, that’s all”.

He looked very upset.

“Yaaaa Kkulie are you crazy? I will not deny my child. We made that baby together, we will raise it together in a way or another”.

“Ok, thank you. I have to admit that even though I never doubt you that for a second, the idea of raising a child completely alone made me so sad. Hey by the way, how did you came in?”

“You use the same pass code than in our house”. He said, smiling.

He said

. Those words awaken all sorts of feelings. In that house, you lived happily. You thought you would live there with him until the day you die, happily ever after.

You talked for a few minutes, close to each other but keeping a certain distance. You talked about your cat Aye, about his projects with his band. He described you a few clothing he was working on at Peaceminusone.

“Kkul, are the restaurants still open here at this time here?”

“Yes, let’s go I am hungry too”.

You both know that in this town, Jiyong is able to be incognito very easily. He never needed a bodyguard when you both came to visit your family and friends. Walking side by side on your way to the restaurant, he suddenly asked you:

“What are we gonna tell our baby about his conception?” You started to laugh.

“We will tell the truth Ji. Nothing else but the truth”.

“You want my child to know I was never able to keep it in my pants in front of his mother?» He asked, laughing. «That one month without her was enough to make me undress her brutally?”

“Well Ji, he doesn’t have to know the details. But we will tell the truth. I don’t want to start to be a liar with my child”.

“Oh no, I don’t agree. We’ll see about it».

«That’s alright baby, we have a few years above us».

Baby. You called him baby. The word slipped by itself. You didn’t react, hoping he won’t noticed. He did the same.

***

Jiyong became quiet for a few minutes in front of his pizza and beer. Silent and concentrate. You know that expression very well so you gave him the pen and the little notebook that you always carried in your purse for those special occasions. He looked at you, probably surprised that you still carry that same book and pen you always did since that day you told him you will carry it for him, so he won’t forget his idea anymore. He took it and immediately started taking notes at a fast pace, not wanting to forget a single word. After he’s done, he tears off the sheet of the book, folds it and puts it in the pocket of his jacket. That beautiful jacket you watched him modify for at least 3 nights in a row, never satisfy with the color or the superpositions of the little embroidery.

“This song will be about you Kkulie».

“Ji, I want you to know that I am ok with our breakup. I’ll be fine, I’ll be happy. I just need a little more time but I am much better actually. So don’t worry about me.”

He took both his hands in his.

“That was what I call a change of subject… I know you will be. I know. But I was wondering if, maybe, we could get back together? You know with the baby coming.”

“Oh boy, absolutely not. A baby is not a good reason to be together. Not at all. Plus, you broke up to live your life like a young adult, to be free. Do you think I will trap you in a relationship with a child so you would feel even more squeezed? You needed to feel free from your responsibilities, a child is a major one”.

“Y/n, it’s not just because of the baby. I still love you, you know”.

“I know you do and I love you too. But now, I have a baby to protect, not just my little heart. There is no way in hell my baby will be in the middle of his mother and father. And I don’t want you to leave me again in 5 years when you realise you didn’t had the time to party enough. Then, it would be harder, with a baby that would cry for his appa to stay with us”.

He smiled but that smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“You always think of the others before you think of yourself Kkul. Always. That is something I admire about you. I don’t have that quality. I am selfish and egocentric”. He says, big tears on his cheeks.

“You are nothing like that, you’ve always think about me too, making me feel loved and desired. I was always your number one priority. Maybe that’s why, you got tired of us. Because you thought of me first. You also take care of your members, your family, your friends, your staff, you’ll be present for our child as well”.

You continue talking and finished your course meal.  He had a hard time to let go of your hand as you were both eating. He was overwhelmed. After your pizza and pasta, you ordered 2 parts of cakes, a brownies and a cheesecake with oreo crust. He stopped you, while you were ordering.

“Hold on, remember, I don’t eat too much sugar my love”.

“I know Ji. The brownies is for me but your baby is asking for the cheesecake, I already cannot say no to that little thing”.

He bursts out laughing, happy. He looked at you eating with appetite that big portion of dessert, You were not lying when you said you were eating for 3 now and he was more than happy about it.

“Are you sure we are not having triplets?”

“Hopefully not. If I continue to eat like that, I will be an elephant next week. But I can’t stop, I am so hungry”.

He paid the restaurant bill and as always, he gave a generous tip to the waitress.

“Let’s take a long walk, shall we? I need some fresh air after that day in the plane and you need to burn those calories”.  He said, teasing you. It’s the first time since he’s in your hometown that you see his smile really reaching his beautiful brown eyes.

You went for a walk around the city. Ji took some pictures and signed autographs with fans, always taking different poses to make sure each one of them would have their own souvenir. He ask them not to follow him and they obey. It was never that easy in Korea. Normally, they would have grab him, tried to hug and kiss him and push you on the side. In Korea, in Asia in general, he was a megastar and he was not able to get out of his house without a bunch of bodyguards. It was not an easy life to live.

Back in your apartment, as he was preparing his stuff to take a shower, he said:

“I love the country that raised you. People are respectful, girls are pretty, men are kind and polite. It’s a wonderful place to raise a child”.

“I might go back to Korea though. I don’t feel home anymore here. My best friend has left to live with her man in Shangai. I think we have a little something for asian boys”  you said laughing.

“But… but…”.

You stopped what you were doing. You knew exactly what he was gonna say.

“Jiyong, please. Don’t make it harder for me”.

“I have no right to be jealous, sorry. I fuck other woman myself...»

You placed your hands on your ears and made loud noises so you won't hear him.

“I don’t want to know what you do with your little shrimp. Please, don’t tell me”

“Shrimp? Little Shrimp? What is it you call little shrimp?” He asked you, pretending to be upset but laughing nevertheless.

“Whatever you call your penis, I don’t care. Just don’t tell me what you do with it. I promise you I won’t tell you what I do with my body”

“But I want to know what you do with your body since my baby is growing inside of you”

“You won’t, it’s not your business”. He pouts and he left to take a shower, without saying another word.

A few moment later, you felt yourself lifted from the couch, embrace against Jiyong’s chest. Your arms encircled his neck and you snuggled your nose against his cheek. You must have fell asleep while he was showering. He transported you to your bed and laid down by your side. You keep snuggling onto him, still half asleep and groggy. You realised he was undressing you like a little doll when he started to say:

“Kkulie, I am sorry. I told you earlier, I’m egoistic. I want to keep you for myself. You actually have the right to see somebody else of course.”

You let him do it, he saw you naked multiples of times and it’s not like he will undress you completely. He let you in your t-shirt only with your panties, put a blanket on the both of you and came closer.  His hand caressed the bare skin of your belly. Once again, it was a bittersweet sensation. You decided to let him do it anyway, after all, he won’t see you in a while after those few days. He might need that contact with his baby.

«Have you start to feel it move?»

«I think I have a couple of times but it was so subtle, I wasn’t sure».

“It must be magical”

“It is, well I am almost sure it was the baby. It was a small movement, like a butterfly wing or something like that”.

“I can’t wait to feel some movements too”.

You bawn, tired.

«I love you».

«I love you too Jiyong. Sweet dreams».

«Sweet dreams love».

You fell asleep at the sound of his voice, talking to the baby and with the sensation of his hand on your stomach. You feel strong, you know you will get over him. But for now, you wish he never had that «freedom» call.

#Kwon Jiyong #kwon leader #kwon jiyong scenario #kwon jiyong x reader #kwon jiyong fluff #kwon jiyong serie #gdragon #gdragon scenario #gdragon serie #g dragon x reader #g dragon #gdragon fluff #bigbang scenario #bigbang g dragon #bigbang #bigbang serie

[thisiswhymomworries]

Week Three: Pause

OK so the patches didn't work because it turns out I have a latex sensitivity so fuck me. I stopped taking them on the 1st, had a doctor's appointment on the 7th to get a new prescription, and just started taking AndroGEL today (the 8th)

When: 11/1/19 - 11/8/19 (started T on 10/18/19)

Testosterone: I WAS using Androderm, a daily patch that stays on for 24 hours; I am NOW using Androgel, a gel that you rub into your skin each morning

Dosage: Androgel 1% that delivers 50 mg per day, but it's also available in a stronger dose of 1.62%

Changes: Appetite fluctuation, acne cleared up

Yeah so this week was super sucky. The skin reactions to the patches got bad enough that I couldn't sleep well due to how much they itched, each red spot took 4-5 days to stop itching and reduce swelling, and I actually STILL have the red spots! They're not itching anymore, but I have six red blotches left over from the week of 10/26 - 11/1 when I stopped using the patches that haven't healed yet.

That being said, I would still recommend the patches to people who don't have a latex allergy / sensitivity. You can do a quick and dirty test of how sensitive your skin is by lightly scratching your nail over your forearm, and if that leaves a red trail, your skin is probably too sensitive. (this isn't meant to be Medical Advice(tm) just an example of how my skin reacts and how my doctor demonstrated that my skin produces too many histamines and therefore will react badly to latex being stuck on it for 24 hours)

I didn't have any *terrible* side effects from stopping T, but again. Very shitty week. Full breakdown of what changed, what using Androgel is like, and my weekly selfie below the cut!

So the biggest change here was my appetite. Immediately after quitting the patches, it dropped back down to previous levels, which meant I didn't really get hungry and had problems motivating myself to eat. On the other hand, like three days later, I got a random burst of Big Boy Appetite and ate a full large-sized McDonalds meal by myself plus a McFlurry, in comparison to typically eating ¾ of a cheeseburger, a medium fry, and no room for dessert

Very weird fluctuation, and I hope my appetite goes back to the new normal of getting hungry and eating like a normal person now that I'm back on T again

My acne cleared up a little, back to the beginning signs of just redness near common breakout spots. The giant pimple on my chin disappeared, which is kind of nice, if it weren't a sign my body lost all its testosterone 🙁

Not really any mood swings or issues with that, other than the situational stress and anxiety of forcing myself to stop wearing the patches before I gave myself a fucking chemical burn or something (each new place I put a patch had a worse reaction than the last one, and it was getting pretty bad), plus needing to go to yet ANOTHER doctor's appointment

This one was with a new doctor I hadn't seen before, so that was super stressful. Planned Parenthood was great, didn't misgender me, and the informed consent felt like a conversation. 10/10 would recommend

The clinic I went to this time was not that good. To be entirely fair, the nurse that spoke to me and kept misgendering me was a nurse subbing in for this doctor for the first time and hadn't seen my paperwork beforehand, and I also didn't have the courage to correct her, but also my doctor that damn well knew I'm trans ALSO misgendered me, soooo. Plus, on my paperwork, I'm listed as a female-to-male transsexual like this is the fucking 80s and no one understands the difference between gender and sexuality yet

Also, the "informed consent" part very much felt like I was auditioning instead of describing my own experiences. The way the doctor would interrupt me to ask a very specific question and go back to it if I didn't say what I felt like she expected me to say very much gave the impression she had an idea of the "right" responses and the "wrong" ones. Planned Parenthood did NOT give off that vibe and felt way more understanding and comfortable with me

So obviously, yeah, super stressed, anxious, and pissed off this last week, but I only had those thoughts/feelings when directly thinking about the T situation and it wasn't unduly difficult to handle. It felt like any other stressful situation I've been through, so I'm calling it that going off of T for one week didn't affect my mood too badly

Still! The doctor did give me a prescription for Androgel; same situation as last time with Walgreens not having that in stock and needing to order it, but getting it by the next morning. It also went through my insurance without any problems, AND Androgel is a lot cheaper. Like, shockingly so. I'm calling it "androgel" but I'm technically taking the generic version instead of that exact brand name, so that might have helped with the price, but it's only $15 with my insurance for 30 packets of the gel in comparison to $45 for 30 Androderm patches (or $95 for 60 of them)

***

ANDROGEL

OK so I'm using the version that comes in packet, not a pump like soap. The application sites are your upper arms, shoulders/back, and stomach. You will need ALL of them.

Wash your hands first to guarantee they're clean. Make sure you don't have any hangnails or papercuts. Slap a temporary bandage on that if you do, because the gel stings a little and probably shouldn't get into an open cut. Take off your shirt and your binder entirely. It's really difficult trying to rub it in underneath a binder, so completely bare chest is the way to go

The packets come with notches on each side at the top that are fairly easy to tear once you get one going. Don't put it in your mouth and try to tear it with your teeth! I didn't do this, but from how easily the gel squeezes out, I can still guarantee you'll end up with a mouthful of it

The gel itself has the consistency (and smell) of hand sanitizer. I decided the "application site" I wanted to use was my upper arms and foolishly did not take off my binder. There is WAY too much gel to just pick one spot, and it rubs in the way hand sanitizer does, not like lotion. So you'll be smearing it across a lot more skin than you expect before it absorbs in. I had to use both upper arms, my shoulders, along my back, AND still spread the last of it over my stomach

Like hand sanitizer, it's also very runny and slippery, so don't squeeze a line along your right arm and your left and expect them to stay there. I can personally attest it will start running and dripping down your arm as you frantically attempt to moisturize

Finally, wash your hands again—and this is super important! The gel had tried on my hands and it really didn't feel like there was that much left over, but as soon as I put my hands under the water, I could feel the gel. And it felt like actual thick gel and not just hand sanitizer. I had to wash my hands three times before the gel feeling went away. Think like when you rub cooking oil on your hands to spread out a pizza dough without it sticking. It felt like that

You may have noticed this is a way stronger dose than Androderm! I'll double-check on the patches when I get home, but I'm pretty sure their daily dose is 2 mg and I didn't get that wrong, while the Androgel package says they deliver 50 mg (through 5 g worth of gel). If the T changes come back faster or strong over the next week while I'm on this instead of the patches, I'll take note of that so people deciding between patch or gel can get a better idea of which one would work best for them :)

comparison selfies:

#transgender #trans male #ftm #trans #hrt timeline #my transition

[spideymybucky]

Telling Tom and twinning (2/3)

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader 

Requested by: @caswinchester2000

warnings: High Risk pregnancy, idk. 

Word count: 1.5k+

Part 1

You woke up with the ringing of your phone. Stretching your arm over, you grab it and, with squinting eyes, you look at the caller: Tom Holland. This had been the 12th miscalled in, probably, 2 hours. You threw the phone somewhere and groaned, making Tessa jump. She whimpered and laid down next to you.

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“Sorry Tess” Leaving the comfy pillows, you change into a pair of jeans, a shirt and some sneakers. You grab some left over pizza, as breakfast, and your keys. You needed to get out of this place and, also, you had to go to school.

You spent the next eight hours ignoring your phone. At some point, after all the messages and calls, it ended up dying. You got home and expecting to be greeted by Tessa, but she was nowhere to be seen. The hallway was lit up. ‘Its probably Nikki’ you thought.  You headed to your room expecting to see her but ended up admiring a mop of brown curly hair.

“Hey Baby girl” he mumbled into your neck, engulfing you in a tight hug. You wrapped your arms, pulling him closer.

“I missed you Tommy.” You whispered with unshed tears.

“I know, me too baby.” Smelling him, having him closer, it was all that you needed, then you remembered your predicament.

“W-What are you doing here? I thought you didn’t have off for the next couple of weeks.” You unwrapped yourself, looking at him with a fake smile.

“Yeah, but you just wouldn’t answer your phone. So I called my mom, she told me to come talk to you in person. She said something about it being life changing.” He looked down at you confused, scared and troubled. You knew you had to tell him, it was as much your fault as his but, you weren’t sure what you wanted to do.

“Kind of is.” He sat down next you on the bed, holding you hand. You locked you fingers, tracing a stranger pattern. Closing you eyes, enjoying a bit of this calm feeling, you knew this had to be it.

“How sick are you?” His voice full of concern.

“Its-I’m-Ok, technically I’m not sick but I’ll still feel sick for the next few months.” You licked you lips, setting your mouth in a hard line.

“Than, what is it?” he drew his lower lip between his teeth.

“I’m pregnant.” You whispered out. You looked up at him with tears in your eyes . His mouth fell open, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. You didn’t know if he was mad, happy, sad, or overwhelmed. You knew you were overwhelmed with everything.

“How long?” He asked after, what felt like, a few minuted in silence.

“The doctor said three to four weeks, but I don’t know. I think it might’ve been when we went down to Bournemouth.” You mumbled out.

“Oh…” he looked at you, staring into your eyes.

“Yeah…” You both stayed quite for a while, not really knowing what to do.

“What do we do? Do you wanna keep it?” His hopeful eyes bore into yours, making you smile.

“I know its not the best time, you being away and me finishing school but… If you want to yeah. I just…” You looked up at him with concern. “I just don’t want to do this alone.” He drew you in and kissed the top of your head.

“I would never leave you alone, you’re stuck with me 'til the end, darling.” You hugged him tighter, pushing him down to the bed and laying on top of him.

“I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, if you wanna come…” His eyes lit up with a smile.

“We’re going to be able to see it?” You nodded.

“Babe, we’re having a baby.” He laughed out.

Tom woke you up three hours before your appointment. He wanted to make sure everything was going smoothly, even though you could easily sleep in a bit more. You groaned and covered your body with the silk sheets.

“C’mon babe, we don’t wanna be late.” He pleaded at you, uncovering your head.

“I just wanna sleep, Tom.” She grabbed her phone and looked at the time. It was six thirty on the dot. She wanted to kill him.

“But baby I-” She glared at him.

“Its 6 am, Thomas” He sheepishly smiled at you, while rolling your eyes. “I need sleep.” He grumbled out and left the room.

After a rough morning full of bickering, from your grumpy side, and Tom enduring it all. It was time to leave. Getting to the hospital was easy. It had been the first time in days that you actually felt better, even though the nausea would hit from time to time. There were five to six other women waiting. After twenty minutes, and a form the seemed infinite, you were called in. They give you a robe to changing into and then, they draw more blood out of you. Tom comes closer to you, hugging you and smiling.

“Think we’re gonna see little peanut in there?” He asked looking at you.

“Little peanut? I hate peanuts Thomas.” You scoff out. You didn’t know why, but today you were annoyed by him.

“Oh C’mon, its cute and suits it well.” He whined out. You raised a brow and nodded. The door opened, startling both of you. Tom took a step back and looked at the doctor.

“Hello (Y/n), nice to see you again.” He smiled. “And you must be the husband.” 

“Yeah, nice pleased to meet you.” Tom smiled. 

“So the results did come back positive, but your HCG levels are elevated so that might mean more than one baby.” Toms ears perked up. He’d never thought of having twins, one baby was manageable but two? Was he ready for two? Were you ready for two on your own? He was going to leave today, after all.

“How high is the possibility of twins?” You quickly ask. You didn’t want twins. You were already scared for one, having two was double the work and pain.  

“Nothing’s sure right now, we have to confirm it with the ultrasound.” You nodded as Tom came closer to you. He grabbed your hand, no words being said.

“So… do I lift the gown or what do I do?” You ask at him.

“Since you’re early on we have to do a transvaginal ultrasound, which will you’ll feel a bit of pressure and uncomfortable, but it's the best way to see the baby.” You nodded and grab Toms hand tighter. He didn’t look pleased either, this was all too much too soon.

You open your legs and hoist them up, allowing the doctor to put the probe inside you. You bit you lip, stop yourself from screaming or just biting the doctors head off and then it stopped. The monitor looked black, nothing you could actually recognize as a baby.

“Everything seems fine, there is the placenta and that would be the babies.” He said mentioning to a small circle in the placenta. You looked at it with wide eyes, not really sure how you felt. The probe moved a bit and then there were two dark circles.

“You’re having twins, congratulations.” Tom’s eyes widened in amazement and, for some reason, they teared up. He smiled down at you. Your eyes were full of tears, not really knowing how to react.

“Wow.” You mumbled out.

“They’re in the same sack, it means identical twins and you are…” he looked at your form, one you had to fill in at the waiting room. “five weeks along.”

“Your due date is on May 21st” He said, taking out the probe and cleaning it. You sat up, Tom still holding you. “But 35 to 37 weeks of gestation is enough. Some times they come sooner.” He explained. You nodded and smiled at Tom, squeezing his hand. The doctor kept talking about prenatal vitamins and all the appointments you had. All you could do was stair at Tom, his big brown eyes and movements.

“So… want pictures?” Dr. Fletcher asked.

“Yes.” You both shouted in unison. The doctor laughed and left to get them printed, as you changed.

“Two babies, Tom.” You whispered out.

“Twins… I never thought… wow.” He mumbled looking at you.

“Will we make it?” He pulled you closer, resting his had on you stomach.

“With by my side, always.” You looked down at him and smiled.

“So twins, huh?” You asked again.

“What can I say? I have super-sperm.” He chuckled out.

“Tom, you’re gross.” You laughed out, leaving the room as the nurse came and gave you the small pictures.

“Well, might as well be super babies then.” You said looking at them. Tom gazed at you with heart eyes, never imagining he could love someone so much.

“They’ll have a super mom” You look up at him and kiss him, not really caring about.

“…And an average dad.” You winked.

“Hey, thats mean.” He laughed out.

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