#ok it's... just outlining their journey

[jobean12-blog]

Alpine Approved

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader (Alpine included)

Word Count: 1,146

Summary: It's your fourth date and since Bucky's already come to your place twice he wants you to come to his apartment this time. You're excited to see his living space and meet his cat Alpine.

Author's Note: Just a cute little thought of what Alpine might do the first time he meets Bucky's girl. Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy! 🥰

Warnings: soft and sweet fluff, lots of kisses and Alpine!

Bucky presses you into the wall as he fumbles around in his back pocket for his key. His lips trail across your jaw then with a muttered curse he reluctantly pulls away and pats his leather jacket.

“Where the hell…ah! Here they are!” he says excitedly.

He grabs your hand in his while he unlocks the door with his other and kicks it open. With a yank you’re inside his apartment.

The door slams shut with another kick and before you can even take a look around he has you caged against the door, his large hands resting on either side of your head.

“Now…,” he murmurs. “Where were we?”

His lips brush along yours as his hands slide off the door and down to your waist. You sigh his name and run your fingers through his long hair.

“MEOW!”

You hear the loud meow before you feel something push between your calves.

“Oh!” you squeak and pull away just enough to look down.

Bucky hooks his finger under your chin and brings your gaze back up to his.

“That’s Alpine…you can say hi later.”

He kisses you again and you instantly melt into his embrace. His strong arms pull you from the door and he starts to walk you both backward toward the couch.

“Ow! Damn it!” he says when he walks into the coffee table.

You giggle and bump your nose with his. “Forgot that was there?”

“It’s your fault doll,” he grins, now holding your face between his hands. “I can’t think about anything else but kissing you.”

With that he captures your lips again and continues his journey toward the couch. Just when he thinks he’s safe, Alpine winds himself between Bucky’s legs and trips him up. Thankfully, Bucky is close enough to the couch to plaster you against his chest and propel you both the rest of way to land safely on the soft cushions.

You land on top of him with an “oof.”

“You ok doll face?” he asks with a sheepish look.

“Just fine,” you assure him as you snuggle yourself along his large body. “You’re very comfy.”

He winks and then unexpectedly flips you over, settling just the right amount of his weight on top of you.

“I’m an even better blanket,” he teases.

His thumb caresses the outline of your mouth before he slides his hand behind your neck, pulling you in for another kiss.

He’s barely gotten a taste when Alpine jumps onto the back of the couch and starts to swat at his hair.

With a nip of your bottom lip Bucky releases you and turns narrowed eyes to his white fluffy cat.

“You’re a real pain in my ass you know that?”

“MEOW!” is Alpine’s only verbal response. He follows it with another swat.

“Fine! We’ll say hi!” Bucky grumbles and sits up, offering his hand to help you do the same.

“Hi Alpine,” you smile, holding your hand out for him to smell.

He gently nudges it with his cold nose then turns his attention back to Bucky with another loud meow.

Bucky picks up the cat and cradles him against his chest, letting him settle in the crook of his metal arm.

“Happy now?” Bucky asks the white fluff.

Alpine’s tail swishes back and forth as he ignores Bucky and stares at you with piercing blue eyes.

“His eyes are so pretty…like yours,” you tell Bucky as you stare right back at Alpine.

Bucky chuckles and quietly says thank you with a dip of his head.

Alpine never takes his eyes off you as you settle yourself into the couch cushions.

“Does he always stare like this?” you ask Bucky.

“Well…” Bucky starts and then rubs the back of his neck with his hand. “Um…sort of.”

“He looks suspicious,” you comment.

“Yeah…I don’t usually have people over and definitely not girls…”

“Are you telling me I’m the first girl he’s met?”

Bucky’s eyes go wide as he looks at you.

“Other than Nat and Wanda yeah I guess and they don’t count like that…”

“Like what?” you ask as you move closer.

“You know…”

“I don’t know. Don’t go all shy on me now.”

“Doll.”

“Bucky.”

“I haven’t stopped kissing you since you walked in! And even before that…he’s definitely not used to me giving someone else all my attention.”

“I feel extra special now.”

“You should doll face.”

Bucky’s smug smile chases away his shyness.

When you look back at Alpine he’s still staring at you in a clearly assessing manner.

“He always inspects every new person that comes over. He might be a bit overprotective.”  

“I hope I pass whatever test this is,” you whisper, giving Alpine your best smile.

The cat blinks several times before he stands and does a big stretch.

“OH BIG STRETCH!” you cheer.

Alpine let’s out a satisfied meow and saunters across Bucky’s legs and into your lap.

“Well,” Bucky starts. “That’s it, it’s official. He likes you.”

“That seemed too easy,” you state and gently scratch Alpine’s head.

“It was the ‘Oh big stretch!’” Bucky teases. “He just loves to hear how awesome he is.”

“Fair enough,” you giggle. “You’re very handsome Alpine.”

The cat meows and rubs closer himself on you.

“Just like your daddy,” you add, completely giving in and cuddling the cat.

“It really does work,” you laugh.

“Great!” Bucky says. “Now he’s really happy and he’s got you right where he wants you.”

Both you and Alpine look at Bucky who’s full on pouting.

“If I stop now he might not love me anymore!” you argue.

“Sureeeee,” Bucky counters.

Alpine starts to gently knead your thigh as he purrs louder and Bucky just let’s out a groan and grabs Alpine off your lap.

“That’s enough buddy. Stop feeling up my girl.”

You let out a peel of laughter and watch as Alpine turns his head up and then gives Bucky his backside as he walks away, clearly annoyed at being displaced.

“He looks mad Bucky.”

“He’ll get over it,” Bucky says. “And besides…this is our date and I plan on getting in all the kisses I can...and then some.”

“I have zero problem with that,” you tell him.

He grabs your waist and drags you into his lap. You wrap your arms around his neck and nuzzle your face into his beard.

“Almost as soft as Alpine,” you tease.

“Hey now,” Bucky playfully admonishes.

Just before Bucky presses his lips to yours you catch sight of Alpine sitting across the room on the window sill, staring at the back of Bucky’s head.

“He’s staring again Buck,” you whisper against his lips with a small smile.

“Ignore him. He’s just trying to get our attention again.”

“You know you never gave me a tour of your place.”

“Later,” Bucky murmurs as his hands slip under your shirt. “You’re all mine now.”

@hiddles-rose @randomfandompenguin @goldylions @blackwidownat2814 @buckysdollforlife @kmc1989 @littleseasiren @lizette50

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky and alpine #alpine barnes #alpine #bucky barnes imagine #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader

[limes-sagau]

Starting My Sagau Writing Journey

Ok Im wanting to dip my toes into the Sagau writing scene and I wanted to put out about 3 ideas I have and plan on writing. Each idea will be outlined below and people are welcome to take inspiration off of them just make sure to tag me in the writing. There will also be a poll at the end where you can vote for which one you want to see first. When I finish writing each chapter they will be put up on AO3. 

Shimeji AU: 

For those who don't know, Shimeji is a browser extension that spawns a chibi version of a character onto your browser. This character can then move around and climb on the borders of your web page and just be a cute little distraction (I know this might sound like malware but its not I've had a Venti and a Lumine Shimegi for a while now and haven't experienced anything that can imply they are malware) 

This would be more of a drabble and less of a full fic. 

Basically the characters in genshin become aware through their Shimeji and then begin acting up in your browser when you're out of the game (when you're in game you're fine).

If you leave your web browser opened when you leave your computer you will come back to it being on a weird page 

Like Venti looking at a wine website 

Diluc somehow ending up on a streaming service watching Batman 

Yae Miko finding your writing 

I'll likely start off with characters from Mondstadt and go down the list for each region.

Kidnapped by the Harbingers (not the final title): 

Exactly as it sounds, in the middle of the night you are taken from your college dorm (or room I likely won't specify) to Teyvat after the harbingers find a way into our world. 

Haven't decided which harbinger will be sent (leaning towards Childe because I feel like it would fit best and he'd be down for that type of experiment). 

Most of it will take place in a separate castle from Zapolyarny Palace. 

If you want to know my specific location I have in mind their is a visual novel called Dottore And The Spy where you become Dottores apprentice (highly suggest this visual novel) but its main story takes place in a castle in the middle of a frozen wasteland away from civilization where both Pantalon and Dottore live. This will be the main location for the story. 

I'll also be adding in Capitano as another permanent resident of this castle because I want to write about a big strong man who is the emotional intelligence of the three main harbingers present. 

The other harbingers and the Tsaritsa will appear but they will be much more understated in their role.

I want this fanfic to go into the mental load that being locked away from the world has on a person's psyche.

Readers' powers will slowly awaken, making it harder for the Harbingers to keep us a secret from Teyvat and specifically Celestia.

This won't be a full blown yandere fic with the harbingers, they will be slightly possessive but it is more about your safety since Celestia doesn't like you. 

Celestia will be the ultimate enemy over all but the story will not be focused on shooting down Celestia from the sky as readers powers will not ever reach the strength needed to face Celestia alone. 

Harbingers plan will not have changed; they are still working to take down Celestia.   

This will be taking place after Sumeru (so no Scara or La Signora and their will be less clones)

The story will also include 

Getting to know and bond with your castle staff like maids or ladies in waiting (I know these are typically only given to female presenting reader but I want to write about gossip and forming friendships so this is what I'm going with) 

Quality time with each harbinger

Impressing Dottore with your basic levels of knowledge on Astronomy (since Teyvats sky is fake)

Eventually a runaway arch

Lots of tears and mental breakdowns, but don’t worry there will be comfort as well

Shenanigans 

Possibly NSFW after reader finally convinces everyone to stop calling them “your grace”

To Make a Haven (Title might change):

Imposter (but reader is the real deal) AU

Reader gets killed once by a mob of NPCs 

I want it specifically to be NPCs so the reader still has emotional attachment to the playable characters

Reader seeks out a safe and secluded place  

Teyvat awakens to readers distress and opens up a hidden area of the map to the reader that can only be accessed through very specific means. 

Reader eventually starts bringing in Hilichurls to what for now im going to be calling “the Grove” 

Reader will begin messing around and experimenting with her powers and finds a way to somewhat heal the hilichurls 

This isn't a full fix it will be like layering a curse on top of a curse in order to negate some of the effects of the original curse

The hilicurls will not return to being human they will become something else (human like but not human) 

This fic will contain way more original characters 

Reader will be more spiteful in this fic but less in like a “make everyone suffer” way and more like “lets shake up the system and make everything more challenging for people because they tried to kill me” 

This fic will span over a larger span of time in world with the reader building a full city in the hidden area Teyvat made for them.

Well those are my three ideas! after this poll is done I'm hoping to get the first chapter out with that week, but I'm a college student and it been a while since I have written fanfiction so i make no promises.

#sagau #genshin sagau #fatui sagau #fatui harbingers #fatui x reader #genshin impact fatui #self aware genshin #sagau x reader #sagau cult au #genshin impact sagau #sagau impostor au #yandere sagau

[solisaureus]

how do you write a fic and make it like

long?

ok actually i did give a brief workshop in a fandom server on this once. Here’s the sparknotes:

Stage 1: brainstorming

- decide the topic of your story. write down the idea that sparked your inspiration and start there. this is your core concept from which everything else arises. write down everything that you come up with when thinking about your story, even if you don’t end up incorporating it.

- if you don’t have ideas, most of my fic ideas arise when talking about my fav characters with friends who also love them.

- pin down a few essential aspects of your core concept. is it an AU or canon compliant? ship vs gen? is it going to focus on an overarching plot or a particular character’s personal journey? what ao3 rating do you expect it to be? what trope tags do you think you’ll add?

- make a pinterest board and a playlist for your fic concept. i’m serious this helps you solidify the tone, setting, and mood of your story and can provide more inspiration

Stage 2: outlining

- now that you know what your fic is gonna be about, it’s time to break down the story and make it a complete narrative. Your outline can be as detailed or as bare bones as you want. some writers don’t make an outline at all, but i cannot even begin to comprehend their power, and if you’ve never written a long work before i highly recommend starting with an outline.

- the two most important things to keep in mind during this stage are PACING and STRUCTURE. Characterization is secondary in this stage but still important. Now is the time to establish the setting and the major plot beats.

- decide the narrator, point of view, and tense during this stage

- if you’re stuck for ideas, here’s a cheat for pacing — come up with just 3 things: a goal, a time limit, and stakes. What does your protagonist want to accomplish, how long do they have to do it, and what are the consequences if they don’t achieve it in the time limit? Character A is in love with Character B and wants to be with them (goal), but Character B is moving away at the end of the summer (time limit). Character B risks rejection, and losing their friendship with Character A (stakes). Boom, you already have the skeleton of a story. Try to identify these elements in your favorite stories, it helps you practice this and can give you ideas for your own story. Frodo has to deliver the Ring to Mt. Doom (goal) before Sauron’s armies overwhelm Gondor (time limit) or else the world will fall into shadow (stakes). Obviously, this is just one plot formula among a wide variety and there’s no one right way to write a story, but it can get you started.

- Another way you can start is by detailing some exposition events, some rising actions, a climax, and resolution. If you already have a climactic scene in mind, you just need to figure out how your characters get there and what they do afterwards.

- once your outline is done, you should have a general feel for how long the project will be

Stage 3: drafting

- now it’s time to write the damn thing. sounds simple but it’s not

- practice getting into Da Writing Zone. when it’s time for me to get serious, I have a few video game soundtracks i’ll put on through my noise cancelling headphones, i’ll make myself some tea, and i’ll light a candle. i have basically conditioned myself to write when i hear the journey soundtrack or when i smell my pomegranate candle.

- Each scene that you write should serve a purpose in the overall narrative. I personally determine whether each scene contributes to at least one of the following: worldbuilding, progressing the plot, or characterization. a good scene will accomplish two or even all three.

- consider the voice, whether you’re writing from first or third person. are you telling the story with stern reverence, poetic wonder, snarky indifference? consistency in voice strengthens the story.

- keep suspense in mind, too. you dont want the protagonist to know everything right away — be intentional about what information they learn and when. what the protagonist knows and what the reader knows can differ, too — this is the source of dramatic irony. or you can keep the reader ignorant and have them discover plot elements at the same time as your protag. the intrigue!

- take your time. pace yourself. writing is hard and you don’t have a deadline when it comes to fanfiction. if you’re in a rut, something that i do is that i force myself to write 200 words — if i do that and i’m still not feeling it, i stop there and try again in a few days, but a lot of the time i just keep writing once i get past that hurdle of just starting.

- beginnings are always hard. keep in mind that this is just your draft — whatever you write doesn’t have to be the final version. just start at a point that seems interesting to you.

- as a general rule of thumb, if you’re bored writing something, it’ll be boring to read, too. you may tell yourself that you HAVE to write this dry section about worldbuilding or write how the characters get from one place to another, but do you really? how much would it affect the story if you skipped that? can you approach it another way, or work it in in another scene?

stage 4: editing

- kill your darlings. if something you wrote is out of place or unnecessary for the story, but you like it anyway, get rid of it. save it in another document for outtakes, but don’t give into the idea that a section is valuable just because you spent time on it.

- having a second set of eyes on your draft is a game changer. if you can get a friend (ideally another writer) to beta read your draft and make comments, it can make a huge difference. i always like to thank my beta readers when i post a fic because i appreciate their input so much!

- now is a good time to decide whether you want to post chapters as you write them or write everything first and post it all at once (or on a posting schedule). there are benefits and drawbacks to both but you know yourself best!

- once you are happy with your draft, post it! :)

stage 5: stamina

- writing is hard, and writing a long fic is really hard. even if you’re super passionate about a project when you start it, you will probably lose steam at some point depending on how long it is. at times you will be discouraged and unmotivated. it helps to have a friend who has volunteered to be your designated hype man for this fic. i like to have at least one person who i KNOW is awaiting my next chapter.

- the fact that you don’t get paid for writing fic means you have to balance your writing time with your life and responsibilities. you might have to take a hiatus. coming back to the project after a while can be hard — this is where those pinterest boards and playlists you made back in stage 1 come in. they help get you back into the groove of the story when you’ve lost inspiration!

- when all else fails, try reading books or fanfiction. it counts as writing. words in > words out. bonus points if you journal/leave ao3 comments about things you noticed and enjoyed about it (or, if you didn’t like something, what about it left you dissatisfied. don’t write this in an ao3 comment though keep it to yourself), it genuinely helps you get better at writing. like it makes writing easier

- believe in yourself!!! believe in me who believes in you!!!!

#ask #ssavinggrace #robin text #writing advice #fic writing

[minas-linkverse]

Do you have any tips or tricks on how to start a comic like this? Or even just how you got started?? I've had my own au for years that I so badly wanna put out into the world but I've been struggling with finding a good way to start it!!!!

Hm!! Ok!! This is a tough question with many different answers even just from me. I'll do my best to answer tho!! 😮

The main bit of advice I want to give, and which I think is vital to anyone creating anything:

☆ Know yourself.

When looking up advice for creating, people love to tell you that by doing things a specific way is the best and only way to go. Often advice of this sort has solid points, you should plan ahead, you should have easy character designs, buut... You don't have to.

I do not work well with outlines or scripts. I dislike sketching. You'd think that'd make being a long form comic artist impossible for me, but nope.

I know theres things I cannot do, so I've put all my practise to what I can do. My lineart style allows me to almost skip sketching completely, my scripts are more of an A to B structure than law. I improv 90% of the time when making pages. It's kinda like dnd with myself.

I would absolutely not reccomend what I'm doing to others, but I know it works for me. People can tell me I'm doing it wrong but its either wrong or no comic at all, SO. Suck it. 👍

Er. Rambling now.

My point is, figure out what you can and cant do, and do your best to give yourself the ideal work enviorment and process.

☆ Deal with being overwhelmed

Making just a few panels and suddenly realising its gonna take years to get anywhere is SO demoralising. It's gonna happen and its gonna happen again, and again, and—

But continuing with the earlier advice, you gotta ask yourself what would help you. Are you willing to sacrifice quality? Do you just need a break? Maybe you're like me and like to include smth you love in every update so you'll have something to get excited about making.

That feeling of overwhelm is trying to tell you something, so figure out what that is so it wont end the project for you.

☆ Start it

You wont like what you make when starting. I've never heard of an artist who has.

I'm not saying start this instant, not everyone is as into improv and flailing around as me. But I will say you'll never feel ready. Figure out the minimun of what you need to start and do it. Show friends first if youre afraid to post.

Also where to start? Well sure there's lots of good advice online about that, but you can also just doodle random stuff until you feel like diving deeper. That's what LV started with, just Twi and Wild hanging out with animals and some headcanons. It may not be the most tightly written work but theres beauty in the humanity of a mess.

☆ Extras

A "failed project" or "forgotten WIP" is only a failure if you let yourself feel that way. Yea it can be a hauntingly strong feeling thats hard to deal with... But it can be beaten. WIPS are proof you tried and not everyone can say they have.

Lv is far from done and I have no intention of dropping it, but because the journey has been so nice I'd satisfied even if I had to call it here. Its smth that helps me with the overwhelm... What I've made is beautiful even now.

Comparing yourself to others is gonna rip your heart out. I love that theres other links meet aus out there and hope the best for those artists but I caNNot follow any of them or I'll crumble to dust.

So Uhm.

Basically. Have fun and be yourself. 👍

Ps. Readability is basically the most important thing for a comic artist to pay attention to, that and not destroying yourself with details and rendering. 🙌 Good luck out there!

#Ask #I love discussing stuff like that but it always ends up so rambly and long ahsjjdjr #I hope I said at least smth slightly concrete

[dolli-is-me]

Hii dolli!!

Just wanted to ask you is there any foolproof method to wake up in the void state within a week?

Thank you in advance 💗 alsoo i adoree you soo muchhh🫶🏻

FIRST OFF ALL LOVE I ADORE U SM MWAH 💗💗💗

anyways! Fail proof? Ok ok so, every method is fail proof in itself, and you might ask and say "if it's fail proof then why xyz method didn't work?"

IT DID, YOU ALWAYS ENTER THE VOID EVERYTIME YOU TRY, JUST THE AWARENESS NEEDS SOME PUSH

but anyways! As to waking up in the void in a week? I don't really know anything if it's actually fail proof-

BUT, I HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO SAY (ofc I won't leave you like this I have some other things up my sleeve 🏃🏃🏃)

I searched and combed every literal reddit and Tumblr for something that might be for you, and I came up with a really original idea of waking up, again using on to command the subconscious

Now the reason I'm saying commanding the subconscious will work, is because you are COMMANDING the subconscious

@gorgeouslypink also posted about it, as I just found it now, and honestly, it sounds like a really fail proof way enough to make your mind go with it, (I actually entered it once but without being aware using this method, before I even found out it's a method in Tumblr)

ANYWAYS HERE IS THE LINK TO IT, IT'S REALLY HELPFUL

Good luck with it!

(also remember, I saw many individual wake up in the void by simply making their own routine! So if this didn't make you comfortable or anything else, simply make a routine for yourself 💗)

#dolli memories posts! #void state #void #manifesting #subconciousmind #void challenge #subliminals #manifesation #law of assumption

[skayafair]

Part 40

Ok so I've slept on it and have a few thoughts now.

First, I'm glad HG decided to tone down the emotional intensity of drama and tragedy - I thought it's gonna be difficult to listen to the finale after some s3 episodes, but s4 was mostly ok and the finale turned out to be lots of fun! I was smiling widely for the most of it. It even made me somewhat like Kayne! A little bit but still!

Second, we didn't "see" Noel die - great, he lives until proven otherwise. Arthur survived a similar injury, people in this universe are surprisingly durable. Noel lasted this long with a neck injury and didn't die - if Kayne didn't yeet him to some wilderness or worse, he'll live. Possible to pol up later.

Third, I thought Arthur was robbed of all his newfound allies, but I was wrong. Daniel and Marie are still in the picture, so Arthur has human "anchors", he's not alone anymore.

Who Arthur WAS robbed of, are allies who can go with him. Oscar is in the hospital and is abandoned in general, Noel... who knows where, and the surprising newcomer in Butcher's face is obliterated. It reminds me of how a lot of official "uncanon" spin-offs of different show return to status quo in the end of he series because they need to keep the cast the same and otherwise the whole outline of the show may change a lot. I'm not sure if that's the case with Malevolent since... yeah, we had a full season of a wider range of characters, but they were concentrated in the same location, which was convenient. How would this work in other cases? Plus, Arthur and John wete going on a vacation trip without anyone else anyway. Also, damn you Kayne for ruining this! They deserve the vacation!

So all in all we're back to where we started, more or less. It was a neat wrap up of the season, together with the location, new characters, some side quests and even a few answers (wild, I know).

For instance, now we know Yellow actually WAS the King in person. Seems like John is rather a big piece of him if Arthur didn't even notice any difference in the entity at first. I kinda liked my idea that Yellow might have been Kayne's creation completely, a simulacrum just for funsies, because Kayne's idea of fun is cruel. So there would have been Arthur suffering from loss of his dear friend and dealing with this ye olde version if him, John suffering either in Dreamlands or in the Dark World, and Yellow, suffering from all the confusion regarding his identity. Imagine how painful it is after all the efforts to remember, to be what you think you were, just to find out that you never were in the first place. All the "I AM THE KING" gone sour and groundless. That might have broken a newborn consciousness of Yellow, his adopted identity. But he also could have explored it and become something new altogether. Man I'd like to read a fic like that.

But he's the KiY, which is why not, too. He has some new info to work with. New lasting impressions to process. I bet those little adventures in the human world and time with Arthur, time with Larson, short and heated but still... connected argument with John won't go without a trace. Damn I wanted them to talk properly SO BAD and now we're unlikely to get it, ever 😭 But at least there was John, clearly uneasy with the idea of killing Yellow. I don't think it's just his concern about himself vanishing as well. He souned rather sympathetic towards Yellow when they talked about him with Arthur. This warms my heart.

Right. There are 3 things related to this.

John's attitude towards Yellow and the King (Yellow still has amnesia so I can't consider him the King, the personas are different) in pt 40, towards the complete separation from them reminded me of going full no contact with abusive/toxic family. It's hard, and one would often wonder if they survive on their own. Arthur having faith in him didn't ensure anything but helped, I think.

The King and John are fully separated now, so John must be safe-er (if Kayne didn't lie) and his journey is more his now. It isn't even remotely perfect since he's still stuck with Arthur but it's still good news. And I believe they don't have to worry about the King anymore. If he regains his memories, he'll know John is of no use to him anymore, and there's no use to try and hunt these two down since they'll win SOMEHOW eventually, anyway. They have powerful patrons. *wink wink*

Maybe some time later, like, muuuuch later, they will be able to talk properly. Like equals. To exchange experience, impressions. The King values art and knowledge, and so does John. I believe his curiosity is an inherent trait they both share. C'mon. The King is too possessive to let such a chance go. GIMME THEIR CONVERSATIONS I NEED THESE

Also, I'm concerned about Larson. Sure he's half-dead (seriously, 3 gunshot wounds in the body - stomach and back, - strangulation, eye snatching, and he's STILL alive, can he just roll over and die please? As a treat?), but physical form has never been his forte anyway. He successfully brainwashed Yellow and tried to do the same to John (ahaha that was a funny attempt, well, would have been, be John not losing himself at the moment, but the outcome was still pretty much predictable and laughable), his power is in his mind. His words are poison, and he can still speak. I am NOT ok with that. With what he can do to Yellow/the King. What if he talks him into something terrible again. Leave my bby be ffs, Yellow deserves some peace and quiet of his home in Dreamlands. Seriously, Larson is terrible to children and I've said it multiple times that Yellow really reminds me of a rebellious teenager.

Next, I've missed the first 5 minutes or so, so I don't know if it's relevant, but CAN SOMEONE PLEASE explain to me like I'm 5 what was up with the Butcher? It was the most out of blue twist ever. Why did he agree to help? Why did he go against Larson when he was so persistent before? I understand maybe admitting defeat and a respect towards Arthur and Noel who caught him, but helping? Was he promised to be set free of smth? I'll relisten fron the very beginning but uh will it really clear thus up?..

Also. When I said "some answers", it was really just a few. We still have no idea what's up with the 3 soldiers, that woman in the woods, the stone. Is Kayne going to show something about that?

And do we just leave the ultimate purpose, the separation device, sitting in that underground place, just like that?

And I did NOT like how defeated, lifeless Arthur sounded when he agreed to go with Kayne. What's the big deal?? He KNEW John was hiding something, knew it was important, could deduce there was some lie due to Johns intense interest in white lies topic, and it wouldn't have been a stretch to assume John really DOESN'T LIKE lying to him if it can be helped and wouldn't harm them (intentionally). Which, it couldn't. All this, prior to Kayne's appearance. All that conversation did was fill in the blanks. Now Arthur has a clear picture. John didn't say anything that could put a blame on himself. If anything, his actions and behavior make so much more sense now. Arthur is WELL aware about the fact that being left alone in the Dark World is John's WORST fear that came true and lasted. It was one thing to end up there the 1st time. Terrible, traumatizing, but how much WORSE it is to be thrown there again after John learned what it's like to NOT be alone, to be himself? To have hope? Just to lose it all. He called to Kayne only after a long time, when there was nothing to hope fore anymore and he could stand it any longer. Did he hope for Arthur to find him? Even if just a little? Just for that to never happen? And then Arthur's words in the mines, about "let's find each other there". Damn, my heart 💔

I understand Arthur may be somewhat shoked and there was no time to process, but if he's gonna be bitching up bout ANY of that, I'll be angry.

It just. It's the only explanation I can find for why he sounded so... like he gave up. Like the backbone he was relying on betrayed him. When none of that actually happened.

#malevolent podcast #masked #malevolent spoilers #malevolent part 40 #john doe malevolent #yellow malevolent #the king in yellow malevolent #malevolent

[your--isgayrights]

Probably a bit silly and you’ve likely answered this before, but do you think you’re going to come back to “at the Very least, the Wall will change?” I’m just getting into ORV and I want to read some fanfic! I promise I am patient but I’m hesitant to start reading something that’s abandoned. I hope this doesn’t come off as disrespectful! I completely understand burnout (med student here hehe) and there’s no shame is shelving a project for a time if it no longer speaks to you. I just wanted to check

You're right that I've answered this before but like it's totally fair to ask me again after how long it's been lol. Bc like I think about this a lot too and thus the answer/feelings I have about it kind of changes?

Like my journey with this fic has kind of been tumultuous because I started it before I had access to ADHD medication and a lot of my life can be divided into the Before times and the like Now Times where my baseline happiness/standard of care of myself is vastly improved. I outlined all of wall fic before publishing the first chapter and then the scenes I wanted to include took up a lot more time to create than I initially thought they would and that like frustration was really harmful to like my sense of being a "writer," I guess?

Sorry, getting into this bc I'm trying to articulate my own feelings to myself, but I'll tldr; it at the end probably.

Like when I first started wall fic it had like a strangle hold on my imagination and was a way I was able to articulate feelings about things in life. Truth is, I'm someone who has called 911 for suicide/self-harm of friends/classmates like 4-5 times before turning 18. There is this feeling of helplessness I always had as a minor that the world was always ending around me but even when I was up till 5 am making sure my friend got to the hospital ok without any way of really knowing except waiting for a text back, I still had to just buck up and go to school the next day. The emotions I have towards these times in my life really latched onto omniscient reader, because the way it discusses suicidal ideation and what can help with it rang really true to me. I love KDJ a lot, part of that is, in my interactions with suicidal ideation, his sense of narrative inevitability really describes the emotions behind it well, the feeling of "this is the only Solution that will Actually work" is sewn into the fabric of the universe as "probability." And I've actually been thinking about that term "probability" a lot lately, and how it relates to ideas about Narratives. We're always estimating the likelihood of future events based on past experiences, calling things "realistic" or not. But the function of this system in my own life has often been to convince myself to 'give up' on certain things, conserve the energy it would take to try them. Sure that has helped me when Ive not had any free time/energy in crunch times or big projects, but when something is actually important, giving up feels like shit to be honest. Which is part of why I really love and kind of idealize this character of Yoo Joonghyuk, someone who 'never gives up.' To me KDJ and yjh in wall fic represent these two radical sides of a spectrum where someone becomes unhappy by giving up caring about everything and someone becomes unhappy by never giving up on anything. KDJ is then sort of this love letter to people who give up on themselves, people who could never imagine living past a certain age and yet somehow implausibly remain. YJH is a love letter to people who have been left behind and are So aware of their choices and their power over situations that they blame themselves for things that were actually out of their control in the first place. It's these two different ways of interacting with helplessness and grief and fear, giving up knowing you never could have made a difference in the first place or being convinced you could always have done Something and blaming yourself for failing, constantly stressing about what you could have done and what you ought to do the next time it happens.

Codifying these themes into Characters is originally this fun way of exploring emotions I have about them and sharing the experience of feeling them with others without having to tear too much of my self a part. I feel like when we're young it feels like a sense of self is something like a wall, an image of ourself that we have Built and must put in work to Maintain from erosion. This sense of self and protection makes us feel distinct from other people, the line we draw where we begin and end in the universe, and they become rules dictating How we will Act and Appear towards others. Drawing these walls and lines is pretty important to KDJ's perspective in wall fic, but i now realize I had sort of started doing to myself? Towards the middle of writing it?

Just because I've been on the Internet so long, I know the sort of "narratives" of being different "kinds of authors" online. Because of this, when I started posting wall fic, something that was of a lot of concern to me was how I appeared as an Author to people reading. I honestly think now that the performance of things I associated with like Being an Author were more sort of motivated by a fear of failure and disappointing others than anything else. It's kind of only been recently that I've realized that I have a choice to do things because I enjoy them instead of the fear of not doing them, which sounds a little crazy/obvious to be honest, but forcing myself to be an honor roll student for like more than a third of my adolescence while completely unmedicated kind of made that sort of intrinsic fear of disappointing others the ole'reliable of Task Motivation. Participating in ORV fandom has sort of been this emotional tight rope walk for me of like. Kind of really desperately desiring validation from others but also being afraid of receiving it bc of like the pressure it then puts on to Keep Doing the thing that Works and otherwise feeling like a Failure. But obviously like creative writing isn't going to have the same like Fear/Urgency factor as life stuff and it shouldn't feel that way, anyway, tbh. I'm kind of having to like. Re-invent the idea of writing being Fun and Relaxing for myself. And the idea that talking to other people on the internet (also like. People in general I still do this at uni even) does not actually have to have like any performative elements or factors of like? Disguise? Because like my sense of self doesn't actually have to be a wall I keep building and have to repatch whenever someone comes along with a pickaxe like my sense of self doesn't actually need a metaphor attached to it because it just is what it is lol. Like whatever I am RN is my "self" and that meaning would only suffer under the restraint of comparison, lol.

It's been easier to like feel normaler/better quicker in like my day to day stuff, but because a lot of the time I spent previously trying to write wall fic lies in that like that brain space where I felt afraid and stressed out etc I think I currently have like an aversion to sitting down with it out of like a fear of returning to that mindset. Because I'm like looking it in the face and such I do have like strategies of getting over it like doing warmups or taking time to make nice writing spaces and having a name to/strategies to access the creative part of my brain, but that stuff takes time and because it's a lot less likely I'll have writing on the brain than go through my every day life like the process of becoming normaler/feeling better goes a lot faster day to day than in my approach to writing.

Because in my brain the progress of wall fic is a sort of gentle curve I've been trying to shape the growth of upwards, I wouldn't say it's abandoned at all. But also like because the next "update" is not really guaranteed and I'm kind of hesitant to force myself to commit to a timeline for finishing/releasing it, I think it makes sense to like hesitate about starting it as a reader? In terms of a sense of completion, the chapters are organized in such a way that each one concerns a sort of complete Section of KDJ's life/relationships, tho. Like, Chapter 1 shows KDJ and YJH's first meeting as kids and establishes the "soulmate" setting. Chapter 2 shows the life KDJ carved himself to thereafter, how he and YJH's paths have diverged, established the stakes of KDJ's current "world" in a way parallel to the first few chapters of wos/orv. Chapter 3 focuses on how the soulmate worldview and KDJ + YJH's characters/past interact with the way they view children/the idea of "childhood/youth." Chapter 4 is meant to show how that worldview encounters adult life/ adult friendships/relationships, but the final part of it is something I'm still working on a bit. The structure is such that I tend to bring the end of the chapter back to a moment of peace/resolution/settling in the "new world" after the events of the chapter and then writing a one sentence cliff hanger about what the next chapter includes. So if you want to give some of it a read but don't want to be left feeling too incomplete, I'd read up till before the last sentence of Chapter 3, tho that's a bit silly, lol.

I will say again and have said before, I don't mind that much getting thoughtful comments/messages like yours at all. Thoughtful in the sense of like, desiring a response from me as a person, I suppose? Towards the start of writing online i really like needed the validation of little comments to feel good about myself/my work, but now I realize that the thing I like actually desire that ao3 comments aren't often a good format for is that I just like talking/discussing these things with other people. Sometimes comments will make me feel more like an unpaid customer service representative getting feedback or a student looking at a quick note on my report card. The kind I like most are messages where people want to ask me questions, argue with me about something, share something of their own interaction with the text that there's room for me to interact back with them as a person. The thing I hate most is feeling like I care too much about something/talk/think too much to the point that people are tired of hearing from me/form a bad opinion of me.

So like typing this all out has actually put myself in the brain space of remembering some of the things I like to write about and feel and how the current part of wall fic explores them. I'm kind of setting up my computer and such to start working on it like rn actually, hopefully the like feelings I'm having towards wall fic won't evaporate when i have to go to my class in 1/2 an hour or when i try to reread some of what I've written so far lol.

TLDR; Wall fic isn't abandoned or on hiatus or anything, but I am super slow about it lol. If you wanna give it a read I recommend stopping before the last sentence of Chapter 3 if you don't want any "cliff hangy" feelings. Questions like yours that ask me to interact with orv/wall fic/related themes do honestly help me start thinking about it again and I'll probably try to work on some of it tonight bc of you so thanks 👍

#long post #wall fic #ask #anonymous #TLDR; Wall fic isn't abandoned or on hiatus or anything #but I am super slow about it lol. If you wanna give it a read I recommend stopping before the last sentence of Chapter 3 if you don't want #any “cliff hangy” feelings. #Questions like yours that ask me to interact with orv/wall fic/related themes do honestly help me start thinking about it again and I'll pr #obably try to work on some of it tonight bc of you so thanks 👍

[luvelylili]

48 hour challenge results !!

the updates

- clear skin.

ok so, my skin isn’t 100% crystal clear but my pimples became smaller and like, another thing i affirmed for was glass skin and the overall skin on my face is much smoother and even now. like it’s not a major glow up but i can notice an improvement since the first day, and i can tell that in a few days my skin will actually be fully clear, so i’m happy with these results.

- sleep paralysis.

honestly i wasn’t expecting to get sleep paralysis, nor was i even trying because i actually was away from home, on vacation during the weekend and sharing a room with my family members so i wasn’t about to start doing my method with people all around me. i know i don’t need a method like wbtb for sleep paralysis but, for me, the closest i got to sp was with this method. anyways, i didn’t get it. but i was able to strengthen my assumptions surrounding sleep paralysis and i feel like affirming positively for it like i did these past 48 hours only did me good. sooo, my goal for the future is to just keep persisting. usually this would be the part of my journey in which i give up due to not seeing any movement in the 3d but i know better now and now is the time i have to persist the most, there’s always movement and since i have my desire (sleep paralysis) right now in the 4d it is only a matter of time before it shows up in my 3d soon enough. why? because my 3d perfectly reflects my 4d, no matter what, because i said so.

- best case scenarios.

ok this!!! this was the best results i got from this challenge! i was on vacation with my family and i was kinda dreading it because they are all really close and even though they make an effort to include me and always are super sweet to me, i oftentimes felt like an outsider but this time that was not the case at all. i had so much fun!! literally everything went perfectly, it was like we were together all the time and it honestly was just such a blast. i really had not wanted to go but now i’m so so so happy.

+ other successes.

- on the day we were leaving for vacation, my uncle who was meant to pick me up texted at 3am that he would pick us up at 10am but i was asleep and didn’t see the text. so i woke up in the morning at 9:40 am and had to pack and get ready and i was panicking and then i affirmed like 3x ‘everything always works out perfectly for me’ and then literally 10 seconds later i get a text from him saying he was actually coming at 10:30am

- i saw 3 shooting stars!! (i always wanted to see one and i’d never seen one before)

- i felt super comfortable in my own skin! i wasn’t overthinking every little thing i did and was able to just relax and enjoy the moment and the company of the people i was with. i didn’t feel self conscious in a bikini, i didn’t feel judged for being myself and i just felt happy overall.

final thoughts

i enjoyed this challenge! having a clear outline of my goals and affirmations really helped me and it felt so good to see things fall into place just by controlling my thoughts. i reminded myself that i am god. i am the operant power and i am the one who has power over the 3d, not the other way around. i loved having my affirmations listed out on my original post because i was able to keep going back to them and affirm whenever i wanted. i still have a long way to go but i think this was a great challenge not only because i got results, but also because i was able to work on my loa skills by being mindful of my mental diet and being consistent with the same affirmations for the 48 hour duration of the challenge. this is also a really good challenge for beginners to try since it is short and really allows you to witness your own power by bringing desires to you in a period of 48 hours.

thank you @zen-shu for creating this challenge!! <3

#48hc #loassumption #law of assumption #law of attraction #law of the universe #self concept #void state #manifesting #shifting #shifting realities #sleep paralysis #3dolc x roe #affirming

[marinesocks]

writeblr intro!!

hi hi!! i'm helena/danger (she/her) and i'm new to tumblr but i saw a bunch of people doing writeblr introductions and wanted to join in!! i'm a bit shy when it comes to reaching out but if you interact with me at all i will like. 100% respond!!! ok here goes!!

about me

i am a:

adult,

lesbian,

ADD haver,

third culture kid,

hobbyist reader,

psych major,

avid dog enthusiast,

wannabe artist,

horror movie fan,

ecology nerd,

and, as you might have guessed,

a writer!!

i'm not incredible at it but for some reason i cant stop doing it so here i am!!

favorite genres/niches

fantasy mostly!!!

i like to think i like plot but honestly i'll like anything if the characters are good enough

HUGE mythology and folktale fan!! i have very strong opinions on how to incorporate those into a novel tho, so only ask about that if you dare!!

surprise creepy concepts and crapsaccharine worlds are like my favorite of all time. i 100% support lying about the contents of a project to keep that twist extra shocking!!

romcoms might not be my favorite but im a sucker for cute couples, especially if they are LGBTQ+

psychological horror is excellent, one of my favorites (even if i'd never dare to write it)

depictions and representations of mental health is probably the thing that's most consistent throughout my work? maybe its just the psych major talking but i find that stuff endlessly fascinating

i've lived in various places overseas for most of my life, so i enjoy stories set in unique locations absolutely DRENCHED in culture!!

current projects

i feel a bit awkward sharing these because again, i'm not a great writer, but i like reading about other writeblr's projects so i figured i'd give other people the option of seeing mine! warning for pretentious titles for very straightforward and basic concepts

WIP - flowers that mean "we'd miss you" - a short story I wrote while testing out subtext, character dynamics and prose!! the basic run-down is that a boy wakes up in the hospital and now he and his friends have to navigate a very difficult conversation. the subject matter definitely requires a content warning, and it has a few gaps i still need to fill, but overall i really like the direction it's headed!! out of all of these projects, it's probably the one i have the least issues with.

in the ataraxis of aftermath - this one is a novel i wrote for NaNoWriMo 2020! it is post-apocalyptic with elements of fantasy, slice-of-life, and romance, specifically lgbtq+ romance. it's about a girl exploring what remains of her flooded city when she suddenly finds another survivor. despite the genre, this novel is very slow-paced and calm, relying more on the character dynamics and emotional journey of the protagonist instead of traditional story beats and plotlines!! i finished the whole first draft that november (and without any real outline to guide me, so altogether it's a bit of a mess), and i plan on rewriting it after i finish the two following projects!!

WIP - the owl's wish - originally intended as a short story for just a friend and i, this project is quickly expanding into a full-on novel!! it's a haikyuu!! fanfic, but i've been told that the story is well enough removed from the show that it can work even if you don't that context. the only summary i can give without spoilers is that it's about an owl spirit with amnesia who finds a friend, and together they set off to get their wishes granted by the mysterious Lady of the Yellow Springs (but it's about more than that, i promise ;) ). it's set in ancient japan, and i referenced a few traditional fairytales when drawing up the outline, but otherwise it's a completely original folktale that can hopefully be accessible to anyone who picks it up!!

WIP - currently titled ouroboros paradox - this is a novel i am currently plotting, so honestly i'm not so sure how much i can say!! this is a fantasy novel coming from my intense passion for large creatures, horror elements, and norse mythology. as far as i know now, the story will follow two protagonists in the city of jörmungandr - one from the past and one in the present - as they try to navigate life, religion and ethics in a world where murdering living beings lengthens your lifespan. i plan on finishing my outline before this november, so i can try to hit 50K for nanowrimo this year!!

where to find me

Instagram, Wattpad, Art Fight, AO3, & Toyhouse! If you would like to read my writing but don't have a Wattpad account, i've linked the google docs directly to the titles :)

and that should be it!! if you read this far imagine i am giving you a very firm handshake with very watery eyes. if you'd like to reach out, ask questions, or share some of your story tidbits with me, please do!! i'd be so happy to reciprocate however you'd like :) have a great day!! drink some water!!!

#writeblr intro #wip intro #writblr #writeblr #writers on tumblr #lesbian writer #looking for friends #looking for mutuals #im very shy but if you want to reach out like at all i 100% will #like im 110% serious i love writing friends i'd be so happy to make more mutuals #even if you want to just ramble about something you haven't been able to like... hmu bestie i love listening to that #not even kidding let me be the audience for your passionate speeches i am begging you #helena says stuff

[fiction-pod-recs]

Welcome to the first installment of Fiction Podcast Recommendation Thursday!

I wanted to start out with a favorite of mine, Jar of Rebuke!

[Image ID: The cover art for Jar of Rebuke is shown. It is art of a jar outlined in bright red and filled with black with various cryptid silhouettes inside it, each colored in with the same bright red. There is the top of a humans head that morphs into six tentacles, Next to that is the top half of a bigfoot waving. And in the bottom left there is a three eyed deer. Each of the creatures have their eyes filled in with black. In the center of the jar there is a large key also in red. Underneath the jar there are 6 tentacles in red holding it up, and the background is bright green corn silhouetted on a black background. in the top right "Jar of Rebuke" is spelled out in white letters. /.End ID]

Summary of the show as provided, “ Follow Dr. Jared Hel's journey as he works to re-discover his forgotten past and finds his place within the small Indiana farm town of Wichton and the cryptozoological organization he works for called 'The Enclosure'. These audio journals, and other recordings, dive deep into Midwestern US cryptids and folklore while also telling a mystery about identity, queerness, neurodivergence, and community.”

Season 1 and the first part of season 2 has been completed already with 21 episodes averaging from 10-25 minutes per episode. The second part of season 2 is currently being released with 3 episodes out now, these average around 10-ish minutes in length. Both transcript and content warnings are available!

Now, time for the less serious me gushing about it:

I love Jar of Rebuke so much, it was one of my first fiction podcasts and it is just amazing.

The sound quality is pretty good and the storyline is just aaaaaaaa /pos. I love it, it can be so cozy and so dread inducing at the same time it's amazing! It has amazing representation and i love the way it portrays it!

The voice acting is good, the storyline is good (I've said that twice now but it really is), all of the characters are complex and its just amazing! I really want more people to listen to this because it is really good.

-

Ok, I think this concludes out first fiction podcast rec Thursday. Tell me your thoughts, I am always willing to learn how to better these and if I'm being honest I never was the best at giving recommendations. But nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed and maybe found a new podcast to listen to!

#fiction podcast rec Thursday #jar of rebuke #fiction podcasts #audio drama #audio fiction #fiction podcast #podcast recommendation #podcast recs #described #i do mean it when i said to tell me your thoughts btw #critize the way i do things im begging of you #i do want to make these actually helpful and not just a way for me to yell about the things i love

[sequinsmile-x]

Subtle

Aaron has a bad day and Emily looks after him.

-x-

I can't even tell you where this came from...and it is just fluff. Pure fluff.

In other news, I have FINALLY finished the outline for Home, the sequel to The Way Home, so keep an eye out for updates <3

-x-

Words: 2.8k

Warnings: None

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Aaron feels tense, his shoulders and neck tight with stress from the case they’d just returned from. They’d been too late to save the last victim, a young boy who looked a little too much like Jack for his liking. He thinks he’d hear the mother’s scream, the way she’d blamed him, forever. As well as the silence on the jet home, loud and thick in the enclosed space as his team once again tried to get over an outcome they hadn’t wanted. 

His attention is pulled away from his pile of endless paperwork by the sound of a knock on his door. He looks up to find his girlfriend standing in the doorway, a soft smile on her face as she crosses her arms across her chest. 

“Everyone else has gone home,” Emily says, leaning against his door frame, “Are you nearly done?” 

He groans, rubbing at the bridge of his nose, “I wish, sweetheart,” he says as he looks up at her. He doesn’t miss the disappointment that flashes across her face and it makes him feel worse as if he’s letting her down, “Why don’t you just go home, Em?” 

She stares at him momentarily, “Jack’s still with Roy and Jess, right?” 

“Yeah,” he sighs, the thought of returning to an empty apartment disheartening, “Until Sunday.” 

She nods and stands up straight, walking over to his desk, “Come to mine when you’re done?” 

“Em-”

“Please?” She runs her fingers through his hair, smiling as the motion makes him close his eyes, her touch always enough to calm him down, “You know I sleep better with you next to me,” she says, knowing she’s playing dirty, that he could never say no to her, “That’s how the team caught us out so quickly, remember?” 

Aaron chuckles at the memory of it. Of how Derek had caught Emily sneaking out of his room on their first case after they got together. He nods, enjoying the feeling of her fingers running through his hair.

“Ok, I’ll come to yours.” 

His reward is a wide smile before she leans in to kiss him, her lips briefly against hers before she pulls back, trailing her hands through his hair once more before she steps away.

“Text when you’re on your way and I’ll order dinner.” 

“Ok,” he agrees, smiling at her before she turns to leave, “Em?” She looks back at him, “Thank you.” 

She smiles, having heard what he hadn’t said. How he was thankful that she was here, that she wanted to look after him.

“Anytime,” she replies, winking at him, “I love you.” 

“Love you too.”

___

He does as she’s asked and texts her before he leaves. He gets a response before he’s even at the elevator, unable to fight a smile as her name flashes on his screen over a photo of the two of them that he had set as his wallpaper. 

If asked, he wouldn’t be able to tell anyone any details about the journey to her apartment, his brain on autopilot the entire time. He lets himself into her apartment with the key she gave him months ago and he immediately feels himself relax as the familiar warmth of her home washes over him.

“It’s just me sweetheart,” he calls into the apartment, hearing her moving around in her bedroom. 

“You made good time,” she replies, her voice made slightly quieter by distance, “The pizza is nearly here. I’ll be out in a minute, you should help yourself to a beer. I put some in the fridge.” 

He places his bag down on the ground and walks towards her kitchen, the beer she’d suggested sounding like an excellent idea. He loosens his tie and takes it off, placing it on her kitchen counter before he walks over to the fridge and pulls the door open. He reaches for a bottle before his hand stops midway there, and he looks into her fridge curiously. 

It’s not the normal complete lack of food that could constitute a meal that takes him aback, nor the milk he can see is expired from the date stamped across it, but it's the two different types of beer lined up in one corner on the bottom shelf. The kind he usually had when he was here, the one she drank, right next to his favourite.

A type of beer she famously doesn’t like. 

“Are you ok, honey?” She asks, and he looks at her, momentarily losing his train of thought as he does so. She’s taken her make-up off and changed out of her work clothes. She’s now wearing sleep shorts and a shirt of his, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, the white material complementing her dark hair, making her look impossibly beautiful. 

He looks back at the fridge nodding slightly before he grabs a bottle of each beer, closing the fridge door before he walks towards her, passing her the bottle he intended for her. 

“I thought you didn’t like this beer,” he says, twisting the lid off of his drink as he says it, watching as she does the same. 

“I don’t,” she says simply, taking a sip of her drink, “It’s gross.” 

Despite the tension in his body, leftover from the stress of the case and the discomfort of the bed they’d slept in for the last few nights, he smiles at her, her description not too dissimilar to how Jack would describe it. 

“Then why do you have it?” 

She shrugs, stepping towards him to close the gap between them, “Because you like it,” she answers as if it’s obvious, stamping a kiss to his lips before there’s a knock on her door, “Pizzas here.” 

He watches as she walks towards the front door, his eyes fixed on her as she goes, and he realises, not for the first time since they’d got together, that this was what he’d missed about being in a relationship with someone. The tiny things that you learnt about each other, storing facts away until you could use them to make the other person feel better. A small token of affection that let them know someone cared, that someone loved them. 

Even if it was something as seemingly small as buying a different brand of beer. 

“Evening, Miss Prentiss.” 

Aaron looks up towards the door, his eyes narrowing as he sees the smile on the pizza delivery guy’s face as he not so subtly looks Emily up and down. Aaron takes a step to the right to make sure he’s visible and clears his throat. Emily turns to look at him just long enough to roll her eyes at him. 

“Mr Hotchner,” the pizza guy says, his smile being nervous as he looks back at Emily, quickly exchanging the pizza for the money in Emily’s hand, “Have a nice evening.” 

“Thank you,” Emily replies, closing the door after he walks away quickly. She turns to look at her boyfriend and shakes her head at him as she walks towards the couch, “Do you have to scare him every time? Poor kid looked like he was going to shit his pants.” 

“Maybe he should stop trying to flirt with you,” he mutters, taking a sip of his beer as he joins her, sitting next to her as she opens the pizza box and places it on the coffee table. 

“He’s not trying to flirt with me, Aaron.” 

“That’s why I said trying, baby,” he says, smiling at her as he passes her a slice of pizza before grabbing on for himself, “I never said he was good at it.” 

She laughs, leaning her head against his shoulder as she takes a bite of her pizza, “Well, rest assured that even if he was, you’re the only man for me.” 

He places his hand on her bare thigh and squeezes it, allowing himself to settle in the comfort only she and his son could bring him. They eat in comfortable silence, and she lets him take what he needs, ending up all but in his lap by the time they are done. 

“So,” she says, wrapping her arms around his neck, “What do you want to do next? You have two options.” 

Aaron frowns at her, “Options for what?” 

“Cheering you up,” she says, scratching the back of his neck, her blunt nails making him shiver, “Want to know what your options are?” She says, tilting her head at him slightly, her eyes shining with mischief that makes him somehow love her even more. He nods, and she smiles, “Option 1, I take off my shirt and show you the bra I put on when I got home,” she leans in and whispers like she’s sharing a conspiracy, “It’s your favourite,” she pulls back and it isn’t lost on him that her smile has turned into a smirk, “Option 2, I go upstairs and run a bath and we both take off all of our clothes and get in it.” 

He smiles softly at her, “I like that both options involve you taking off your shirt.” 

She laughs and kisses his cheek, “I know my audience well.”

He presses his forehead into hers, “Would you be mad if I went for option 2?”

She shakes her head, the action making their foreheads knock slightly, “I thought you would,” she says, pulling back to look at him, “I saw how you were rolling her shoulder on the jet earlier,” she kisses him once more before she climbs off of his lap, “That mattress in our room was a piece of crap. Give me 5 minutes, ok?” 

He nods and watches her go, reaching for his beer and taking a sip as he leans back into her couch. He looks around the apartment, at all the things that Emily had here that made it feel like a home. Photos of the two of them together, as well as photos of them with the team and with Jack. Little figurines of cats that looked like Sergio. Games and movies for Jack spread amongst her things, DVDs she’d bought for his son for when he was here mixed in with hers. 

Aaron knew she loved him. It was something she said all the time. Three words that had seemed insurmountable at first, both of them too hurt by their pasts to feel as if they could say them. They were a part of their day-to-day now. Words they exchanged whenever they said goodbye, all too aware of how quickly everything could change. He knew she loved him because she showed him. She looked after him in ways that were subtle, ways that came to her without her seemingly thinking about it, as much a part of her as breathing. 

He knew she felt that way because he felt the same way about her. 

He waits until the 5 minutes are up and walks towards and through her bedroom into the adjoining bathroom. He raises his eyebrows when he sees she’s already in the tub, her clothes abandoned in a pile on the floor and her hair tied into a bun on top of her head. The room smells like lavender, and the air is warm, steam coming off of the water in a way that makes it clear just how hot it is. 

“Are you getting in?” 

Aaron nods, placing his beer next to hers on the side of the tub before he strips off quickly, his clothes joining hers on the floor. He expects her to move forward so he can slip in behind her like he usually does when they share a bath, but she doesn’t move, her raised eyebrow enough to let him know what she wants him to do. He hisses as he steps into the water, the temperature of it a shock before it soothes him. He sits down in front of her, settling back against her as she wraps her legs around him from behind and loops her arms over his shoulders, encouraging him to lean all his weight on her. 

“Are you comfortable?” She asks, pressing a kiss to his neck. 

“As comfortable as someone wearing a jetpack can be,” he quips, and she squeezes him a little tighter in revenge. 

“I’m not that much shorter than you,” she replies, kissing his neck again, “I mean, is this helping?” 

He turns his head to kiss her cheek, “You always help.” 

She smiles, shaking her head as she buries her face in his shoulder, “You always help me too,” she says, and they fall into silence for a few moments before she speaks again, “You know it’s not your fault, right?” She says, and he tenses against her, “You couldn’t have changed what happened to that kid.” 

He sighs, and he shifts just enough to look at her, his lips set in a firm line, “I know, sweetheart,” he replies, reaching for one of her hands their skin slipping against each other in the water, “It doesn’t make it any easier though.” 

“I know,” she says, lifting her spare hand to push his hair from his forehead, water droplets falling onto his face, “I just wanted to make sure you knew.” 

Aaron leans in and kisses her his lips firm against hers to stop himself from thanking her for all of this, something he knows would earn him a reprimand. He pulls back just enough to talk, his breath skipping over her lips. 

“I love you so much, Em.” 

“I love you too,” she says, stamping another kiss against his lips, “so much,” she kisses him once more, scrunching her nose up a little as she pulls back this time, “Even though your taste in beer sucks.” 

-x-

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[xiaq]

What made you comfortable posting Explicit rated fic? If I'm remembering correctly you said you didn't plan to do that-- though maybe that was just in academia? Thanks as always for your writing!

The key things prohibiting me from writing explicit stuff before were: 1. Working in academia and knowing my blog/fic was very easy to find for students/faculty. 2. The fact that I am very demisexual and had never actually been sexually attracted to someone before so I had zero frame of reference for sexy feelings (also minimal experience from which to draw).

Both of those things have changed now.

Also, I don't know how explicit Same Sweet Shock is going to get. It's a slow-burn fic despite the fact that they agree to be FWBs in the 7th chapter. And part of the fun for me, when I outlined the fic, was to try and write a story that features a FWB relationship where one of the individuals is A. extremely inexperienced and B. extremely demisexual while the other individual is neither of those things. Sorting out that dynamic (with the added bonus of Creature Nonesense) is a fun challenge. Even though there aren't SUPPOSED to be feelings, they're on this intimate, vulnerable, journey together, and they can't help but catch feelings, and then everything is ruined until it's not.

Anyway. The sexual aspect of the story can't be separated from the non-sexual aspects if you actually want to see character growth. So there's going to be some degree of on-screen sex by necessity. Ok I'm going to stop saying the word sex now. Anyway, it felt like a fun challenge and one I could actually do justice now, so here I am writing an explicit fic.

#myfic #answered asks #to write the sex or not to write the sex

[thewatercolours]

Scrapped KQ Scene: "Roadtrip"

Ok, so I've been working on Goblin Graham again, and I was more or less following my outline from 2021, which is not the most coherent thing in the world. (That happens when the story is actually the decision, partway through a challenge, to see if you can force all the prompts to relate to each other.) And honestly, sticking with that original outline is no longer serving the story. Because I realized I had made Graham run away from Daventry while the castle was being besieged. mainly because I want his family to show him lots of love after the whole goblin transformation thing. Also back then I had never shown the Crackers, and I wanted to explore them. But - none of this works character-wise. Graham would die before running away from Daventry in its time of need. He is brave, and ready to fight for his people. He might falter, but not to the point of running off to Llewdor! And by this point, I've shown the Crackers many times. I don't need to shoehorn them in. I do need to do some rethinking to figure out how to keep certain things from the original storyline, because as clunky as Rippling Consequences is, I want it to work, at least technically. The setups are paid off, etc.

I was really grateful to @captmickey for talking this through with me and offering some helpful insights. She suggested that I take the scene where Graham flees and just make it its own thing. I don't think I'm going to reshape it, but I do like some of the things I did with this scene, so I am going to post it as is just for fun. It'll help me move on from the sunk cost and get the story back on track. So here we have it - the non-official, out of character scene where Graham behaves like a coward and runs, but also has bonding time with a bridge troll.

---

Those who have never journeyed overland in the palm of a bridge troll might assume that such a mode of travel saves time. Ordinarily, they would be right. Though trolls are a clumsy, lumbering lot as rule, the gigantic length of their stride makes up for it. Further, trolls never worry about following the twists of the road, or detouring at mountains and rivers. As long as you have no plans to cross the sea, you can more or less travel as the crow flies when you ride with a troll.

But if secrecy is an issue, well, you’re better off overloading a lame donkey with luggage and not watering it the whole way. You will get there faster.

Every day Graham and Olfie got just a bit further north, by way of an awful lot of east and west, and a significant amount of south. They chose secluded routes through the wilderness, giving towns and farms a wide berth. Bridge trolls weren’t unheard of outside of Daventry, but most surrounding nations distrusted them. Graham suggested that the best way to avoid attracting monster-slayers was to keep their heads down, sometimes literally. Olfie crept through the Miser’s Hills on his hands and knees. Graham rode on the bridge, trying to keep his balance. There wasn’t much to hold on to unless he sat by the very edge. That seemed unwise, but he tied himself in place with his cloak. His body lost height each day. The cloak was now about twice as long as he was, giving him lots of material to work with.

“Isn’t that the cape with big ol’ pockets?” his enormous friend asked after the first few hours. “Olfie could tie it to something. You could just ride in one of the pockets.”

But the experiment did not go far. The splint and poultice helped, but getting in and out of pockets proved difficult with Graham’s ankle. Besides, he found it easier to keep it from bending at odd angles if he rested on a flat surface. Once past the Hills, he spent most of his daylight hours in Olfie’s hand. 

He leaned back against the tremendous cupped fingers. and watching Serenia’s hinterlands thicken as they passed. By daylight, his vision blurred and most colours washed out, but the contrast between light and shadow was sharp. The sunshine itself felt glorious on his clammy skin. When night fell, the world came back into focus, alive in luminescent purples and greens. Even under the new moon, he could pick out insects crawling a quarter mile off. 

Scrub gave way to forest. Graham enjoyed trailing his hand on the overstory, much like he used to dip his hand into the water when he tagged along in the rowboat with his sister. Forest gave way to… well, a forest that clearly went to the gym and ate five dozen eggs every day. Massive paleghost trees dwarfed even Olfie, great-trunked and covered with what had to be the world’s thickest moss. Sometimes Graham snatched a leaf or a tree flower as they passed, just to give his overlong fingers something to fiddle with. He’d always been a fidgeter, but his goblin fingers were impossible to satisfy, just for sheer restlessness. 

It did help that he and the troll talked so much.

Roadtripping with Olfie was a revelation. They had always gotten on well, and Graham had never felt he needed to put on a kingly act for him the way so many had needed him to since his crowning. But Graham had never taken him exactly… seriously. He was grateful to him for all the times he has been kind and useful. But, well, he was Olfie.

But with nothing else to do day in and day out, they talked more than they had in the four years since the tournament. Olfie had infinite patience for his too-short tongue and stiff lips. He never once interrupted Graham as he tried to sort out his pronunciation. After the king had offered his fifth or sixth awkward apology for speaking unclearly, the troll had said, “Frankly, Goosie, Olfie doesn’t really notice. All us trolls got some got teeth that go outside our mouth, not in, so learning you tiny people’s words takes a while for us too.” He considered. “Kinda nice you slowed down, actually. Olfie can’t keep up when people talk too fast.”

And oddly, it was kind of nice.  If the path was slow and circuitous, the stories were allowed to be too. At first, they talked little besides choosing which way to go, when to stop and forage, when to bed down for the night. Then Olfie pointed out a ravine with flowers growing up its steep sides, which apparently looked something like the chasm where he had grown up.

“Funny,” said Graham.  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen flowers like those in Daventry.”

“Olfie’s not from Daventry. Started out in the lowlands here in Serenia. Kind of far from here, though.”

“Oh. I didn’t know.”

“Yup,” Olfie said, a tad wistfully. “You’re not the only outsider.”

The silence lingered. “When did you come to the kingdom, then?” Graham asked at last.

“I’m not great at keeping track. Maybe fifteen years? Ish?”

“And…” Graham’s ears sank a little despite himself, “you still think of yourself that way after fifteen years? As an outsider?”

“Nah! Livin’ the dream,” said Olfie heartily, stopping to ginger his way over a boggy patch which probably qualified as a whole bog. Then he swallowed. “But kinda.”

“I’m sorry.” Maybe he should have said more, find out if Olfie wanted to talk about it. But Graham wasn’t sure he had the stability himself, even to listen.

“Hey, it’s not the worst thing to be,” said Olfie, with a consoling, toothy grin. “Least you got an outside to go back to sometimes, ‘stead of being stuck inside.” He raised his hand up to his face so he could look Graham in the face. As usual, it was a little overwhelming to be so close to Olfie’s eyes, one of which had passed as his “eye of a hideous beast” entry. But right now ‘hideous’ was very much a relative sliding scale. “‘This is just a guess, but with all this heading north - you’re going back, right? Home?”

Graham nodded, staring down at his lap.. “Yeah. Home.” He hoped so.

“Good idea.”

Graham shrugged. “Maybe.” He could think of a few cynical responses to go on with, but cynicism hadn’t got him and the villagers through the caverns. He took the second option - curiosity. “So, what’s it like to grow up in a troll chasm?”

And so the stories began properly. They compared earliest memories, roared over most embarrassing moments, and traded lighthearted gossip about Daventryfolk. Nothing too recent at first, but one thing bridged another.  By the fourth day, Graham started to haltingly share the story of what had happened after Olfie had left him in the town square that night. Of the aching choices he’d had to make, and of the enchanted cell he’d been thrown into when his first escape attempt failed.

Olfie didn’t have much to offer by way of insights or comfort. But by gum, he listened, listened in a way that was almost better than talking. “And then what happened?” he would say every now and again. 

It was… a lot easier than he’d anticipated telling his story would be. Maybe it was because Olfie wasn’t human either. Or maybe it was just the nature of this strange journey that didn’t quite feel real, this step-by-step rise and fall with no crisis, no escape to plan, no friends to guess how to keep alive, no split second decrees to make, no previous king to live up to. Would the words come so freely when they arrived in Dapplethorpe and everything became real again?  

Even wondering began to make it grow real again too soon.

One night, as the campfire in the clearing burned low and they finished off the last of their hunter-gatherer supper, Olfie cleared his throat. “So, King Goosie,” he said hesitantly. “You were pretty quiet today.”

“I guess so,” said Graham, gathering up the greasy pheasant bones. He could feel that with a little pushing, the day’s new thoughts would come out, and he wasn’t sure it was wise to share them.

Olfie pressed on. “Yeah. It must get a little boring for you. Anything Olfie can do to liven things up?”

Graham dropped the bones into the ashes and began raking them over with the roasting stick. “You’ve been great. Honestly the problem’s all on my end.” He should have stopped there, but something unruly in him went on. “ It can’t exactly be your fault when you’re just following the King’s orders.”

“Gosh.” Olfie raised an eyebrow. “Orders. Makes it sound all official.” He sounded slightly hurt.

The king sighed, trying to backpedal. “Sorry. I’m just a little out of sorts tonight. And I’m also sorry for… for dragging you into this. I can’t imagine this is how you were planning to spend your week.” But here it was again, the urge to pedal forward. “And, and if anyone gives you trouble when you get back for abandoning the siege, I want you to tell them it was on my order. Then they won’t blame you.” (Blast it, he knew where this would lead. Why push it?)

Olfie’s great eyelids narrowed. “You walked all the way to Daventry on that leg. You tried to get in but couldn’t ‘cause of the magic.You found out the goblins and little Manny Man had the place surrounded, and they’d grab you if they saw you, probably. You didn’t exactly just abandon the siege.”

Graham didn’t look up from the ashes. A note of anger he himself didn’t quite understand crept into his voice. “OK, to make it plainer -  I’m pretty much running away. When i said we should try not to be see, I admit I wasn’t thinking as much about monster-slayers as that… my own guards might be following us. To take me back. Because I ran away, like an idiot.”

“You got Baker Man and the rest of the little town people home safe. And you tried -”

He raised his voice further. “I’d been steeling myself to be okay with my friends seeing me as I am. But when my doctor screamed and crawled backward to get away from me, I chickened out. And ran away.��

“But home.”

The roasting stick snapped. “Even worse. Home with my tail between my legs and everything I tried for trailing behind me. Again. Don’t you get it?” The goblin snarl rose to the surface.

Olfie frowned and reached round the firepit with his thumb and forefinger. For a moment Graham thought the troll was going to grab him. But he stopped, and instead laid his hand down on the grass, right next to Graham. “So why are you going home anyway?” he said, lowering his great voice.

Graham didn’t answer. There were several things he could have said, but they all sounded childish. Funny how you could try to verbally whack someone over the head, trying to prove to them how stupid and cowardly and maybe even treacherous you’d been, and yet still have an inner eight-year-old who thought sounding babyish was worse.”I don’t know,” he said at last, the snarl gone. “I had all kinds of half-plans when I first told you we had to go. I thought I might make things worse. Or that there was nothing I could do. I mean, Daventry’s being attacked by goblins. And Manny. And Manny came to my cell while I was transforming, and he stopped me at the door to the surface. And, and I didn’t know what to do either of those times.”

“You kicked him,” Olfie reminded him encouragingly, clenching a fist and smiling.

“Yeah, I kicked him. Big deal. My point is - Daventry’s trying to defend itself right now. Even if they recognized me, they couldn’t trust me. Aren’t you constantly asking yourself what I might do, what I might try, now that I’m a goblin?”

“No?” said Olfie, puzzled.

Graham laughed grimly. “Thanks. But you’re you. Not everyone sees things like you. And even if they did… Look, I still plan to go back and handle this responsibly. Really. But I need to figure out what that would involve.” Olfie began to speak, but Graham cut him off. “I’m sorry I blew up just now. That wasn’t fair to you.”

The troll nodded soberly, and rose to his feet. The ground shook under him and Graham had to dodge a few unsettled sparks from the fire. “Ya know, this clearing’s a little cramped, and Olfie spotted a nice queen-size ditch just the other side of that treeline. Maybe we both could use the space tonight.”

(You know, I'm glad they had that conversation, because it was what alerted me to the fact that this scene felt all wrong. So - now we've had the scrapped scene, I can get on with writing stuff that works better.)

#graham behaving wildly out of character because the author didn't notice till embarrassingly late #scrapped scene #king's quest #king graham #goblin graham #my writing #fanfiction

[theaudacitytowrite]

Cuddlebug

Josh x Fem!Reader

A/N: This was supposed to be part of my ‘The Weight of Dreams” series but it didn’t fit in anymore once I outlined it. But since I’m a sucker for the ‘only one bed’ trope, you’ll get it nonetheless:D 

Summary: You accompany your childhood friend on tour for their last shows during summer. Thanks to a booking issue you end up sharing a room with Josh who is known for being a cuddlebug.

No warnings. Just lots of banter and cuddles:) Might be a bit corny

word count: 1.961

With your suitcases in tow, you stumbled into the air-conditioned entry hall of the hotel, sighing in relief when the cool air hit your skin. The summer sun had been shining down onto the tour bus relentlessly today, the AC giving up after not even half of the journey to the next city. All you wanted to do now, was to take a shower and fall into your bed to get a good night’s sleep to be ready for tomorrow's endeavours.

The boys had invited you to join them on the road for the last couple of shows before the summer break. You were always excited whenever you had the opportunity to accompany them, to experience the behind-the-scenes every night and see them perform. It was always the highlight of the night to see them up on stage playing their music for thousands of fans that sang loudly along to their songs. You had goosebumps every time you watched them and saw the genuine gratefulness overwhelm them as they gazed over the crowds in front of them. 

Josh and Jake had been your close friends ever since you had met them in grade school. To see how far they had come made your heart swell and you were more than happy to be able to share such meaningful moments with them. Tour life surely was a unique experience, and you were willing to deal with every facet of it. Even if it meant driving in a car that was slowly boiling you through. 

Together you approached the front desk, each one of you just as exhausted as the next person. Only Josh seemed to be still chipper and ready for nonsense as always. Sometimes you wondered from where he took all that energy. No matter how straining the weeks had been, he always had a smile on his lips and the most awful dad joke on his tongue.

“We booked on Kiszka.” Sam drummed on the counter with his fingers as he patiently waited for the desk clerk to access the information. 

“Kiszka…” he hummed, “Here we have it. Oh. Erm, it appears that we have a slight problem with two of your room reservations.”

“As in?” Jake asked concerned. He had specifically booked a double room for him and Jita and he already saw their quality time disappear in thin air.

“The AC on the 8th floor has stopped working, and because of that, we had to re-assign some rooms. Unfortunately, yours as well. We managed to reserve three double rooms for you instead. One room with a king-sized bed and two rooms with two twin-sized beds each. Is that ok?”

“That’s perfect.” Josh chimed in while Jake agreed with a relieved sigh.

“Wonderful.” The clerk smiled, “Then here are your keys. Again, I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.”

“All good,” Sam reassured him with a polite smile.

The desk clerk handed over key cards for the rooms to Sam, who quickly signed the confirmation papers. Jake was quick to snatch a set of key cards from his brothers’ hand.

“See ya.” he bowed out while leading Jita to the elevators, who was only able to quickly wave goodbye.

“Rude.” Danny chuckled, “So I guess Sammy and I share a room?”

“If that’s ok with our lady?” Josh grinned at you.

“And who’ll ask if that’s ok with me?” Sammy interjected jokingly.

“As long as I get an undisturbed night, I’ll be fine with everything.” you yawned while you tried to keep your eyes open.

“Then it’s settled.” Josh hummed satisfied. 

Before Sammy could protest Josh grabbed onto your luggage and headed towards the elevators as well.

“Are you ok, mama?” Josh chuckled as the two of you walked down the hallway towards your room, “You’re swaying a bit.”

“I’m just exhausted.” you huffed, “All I want to do is lay down.”

“In a minute, darling.” he gently pulled you against his side, supporting you.

He quickly unlocked the door when you finally reached it, stumbling into the room with the luggage.

“Oh,” he exclaimed.

“What?” you squeezed around him.”

“I think Jake took the wrong keys.” you sighed deeply at Josh’s words as you looked at the king-sized bed in the room.

“Did you see what room he’s in.” you scratched your brow.

“Nope…” Josh grimaced clueless. 

“Fuck it.” you groaned, “I’m too tired to go on a hunt for them. They probably push their beds together, they’ll be fine.”

“Wise words.” Josh agreed, closing the door behind himself.

“I call dibs on the shower!” you seized the opportunity and stormed into the bathroom.

“Jokes on you! I get to choose the most comfortable side of the bed.” Josh called after you.

The cold shower had eased the feeling of overheating, washing away all the sticky sweat. You knew you were more than exhausted but as you stepped outside the shower your legs felt like you had run a marathon, the weariness had seeped deep into your bones. With a last effort, you dragged yourself into the room in your pj’s, letting yourself flop face first onto the unoccupied side of the bed.

“I was worried you might have been flushed down the drain.” Josh teased as he looked up from his phone to poke your side, “I hope you left some water in the pipes for me.”

“There should be a few droplets left,” you mumbled against the sheets.

“Too generous.” he snickered as he jumped from the bed and vanished into the bathroom.

You heard the shower running again, the soft trickle of the water droplets lulling you to sleep quickly. You didn’t know for how long you had drifted off when the bathroom door opened again. You turned your head towards Josh who shuffled back into the room, only clad in his boxers. His skin was still damp, his lean chest glistening in the light of the bedside table lamp. The flutter in your stomach made you ever so aware of the still-lasting crush you had been harbouring for Josh since the first day of grade school that had brought you together in the first place.

“What’s that for?” his words shook you out of your trance. His eyes were trained on the wall of pillows that were arranged down the middle of the bed.

“It’s a safety precaution.” you shakily breathed out, hoping he wouldn’t notice your red cheeks.

“Precaution for what?” the mattress dipped under Josh’s weight as he put his knees onto it.

“For your little grabbers.” Josh scoffed offended at your explanation.

“Don’t act all offended. Everyone knows that you’re a stage five clinger awake. Your hands are always everywhere. Poking and hugging and twirling. And I for sure know you’re even worse when you’re asleep.”

“You never complained before.” Josh pouted at you pitifully.

“It’s not that I’m against hugs or cuddles… just not in this climate.” you tried to clarify which was actually true for the most part. But at the same time, you wanted to spare yourself the heartbreak. You knew Josh wasn’t on the lookout for a relationship and even if he was, you weren’t sure if he would ever be interested in you. His casual touches and hugs, something he did with everyone he met, were more than dangerous for your silly little love-drunk heart.

“I will be able to contain myself for one night.” Josh feigned hurt as he slipped under the covers, “We don’t need a wall between us.”

“I’d rather be overcautious.” you mustered him suspiciously, “For all I know, I’ll fall asleep next to you and the next thing I know is that you’re clinging to me.”

“Even if that were true, that little border wouldn’t help.” he snapped back playfully. 

“Is that a threat?” you gasped.

“Take it as you please.” he shrugged, “Besides, who says that I would want to cuddle in this heat anyway.”

You raised your eyebrow at him tellingly. “We both know the answer to that.”

“Ah, just sleep in your secluded little area and let me sleep.” he stuck out his tongue, earning a chuckle from you.

“Good night, Josh.”

“Good night, darling.” he hummed sweetly, turning off the lights.

The first sunbeams snuck past the curtains, shining into your face. You slowly stirred awake, groaning when you remembered that you had forgotten to close the blinds last night. The next thing you noticed was the unpleasant sensation of heat as someone’s chest was pressed against your back while his arm was wrapped around your waist, restraining you. Josh’s nose nuzzled at the crook of your neck, his soft breaths hitting your skin. Suddenly the unpleasant warmth became an unendurable heat.

“Good morning.” Josh suddenly rasped into your ear, eliciting goosebumps to erupt all over your body which was your last straw.

“Josh!” you whined groggily as you continued to struggle against his grip, “That’s exactly what I predicted!”

“Good morning to you too, mama.” he hummed still half-asleep, “Just give me five more minutes… to an hour.”

“You’re too hot!” you tried to get away from him desperately.

“Thank you.” he grinned against your skin.

“You know what I mean.” you stressed, tugging on his arms, “I knew you wouldn’t endure an entire night without any physical contact.”

“Hey now.” Josh pouted, “Let’s just notice on which side we are right now.”

You scrunched your eyebrows together, as you took in your surroundings. A few inches away were the pillows you had put up, suspiciously flattened while your side of the bed remained empty. Your eyes widened as you realised that Josh did in fact have the high ground this time.

“And I think it’s only fair that I get my cuddles after you slapped me across the face when you turned onto your back and then started to grope my chest when you rolled over your border.” he taunted, “I just made the best out of it. Sue me.” 

“I don’t believe you.” you tried to keep in the snort at the mental image of you slapping Josh across the face and how bewildered he must’ve looked, “For all we know, you could’ve just pulled me over to your side. Because after your narrative I would be facing you right now, wouldn’t I?”

“Y/N, you were violently tossing yourself around. When I had the chance to restrain you in one spot, so you couldn’t assault me anymore, I took it.” he dryly remarked, “If that makes me the guilty one, I can live with it.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his dry delivery. You turned in his arms just enough to be able to look over your shoulder and catch his gaze.

“Did I really hit you?” you bit your lip full of guilt.

“Right in the money maker.” he nodded.

“I’m sorry.” you pouted and softly caressed his cheek with your thumb, getting lost in his half-lidded eyes that warmly glanced back at you.

“I’ll forgive you-“ he dramatically sighed, “if you let me have another hour of cuddles.”

“A full hour?” you gulped.

“Don’t act like you don’t enjoy it secretly.” he raised his eyebrow, and you could feel your cheeks warm up again.

“Only if the covers go.” you bargained with him. How could one more cuddle session hurt, after all, you already were in his arms you argued with yourself.

“Done.” Josh swiftly discarded the duvet with a precise kick. You carefully turned around in his arms to not accidentally slap him again.

“I promise, I won’t tell anyone if you don’t. Deal?” Josh hummed with closed eyes.

“Deal.” You huffed, snuggling into his chest. Josh softly pressed a kiss on your forehead before he nuzzled his nose into your hair, a sigh of contentment leaving his lips.

Hope you liked it:)

Divider by  @delishlydelightfuldividers​

#josh kiszka #greta van fleet #josh kiszka fic #josh Kiszka fanfic #josh kiszka fanfiction #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet fanfic #greta van fleet fanfiction #josh m. kiszka #joshua michael kiszka

[palfriendpatine66]

What could you recommend to people who just started with writing fanfiction or wanting to write fanfiction?

I feel a little pretentious posting what amounts to your pal’s fanfic writing manifesto, but since it was prompted, here it is:

1. Write what makes you happy

Don’t worry what the rest of fandom says about a character or an event. It doesn’t need to be the same, that’s what makes fanfic fun is seeing everyone’s different takes. Let yourself tell the story you want to tell.

2. Write the way that makes you happy

Don’t post on a schedule if it stresses you out, OR give yourself a deadline if it motivates you. Do full outlines if you like having a plan OR let the story unfold as you go. Write a little every day if it makes things more manageable OR wait for that burst of inspiration and knock it all out in a fever dream before you forget it all. This is my long winded way of saying write the way that works for you, not the way you think you’re supposed to write. I promise someone will be there to read it when you’re done, no matter what.

3. Don’t limit yourself

Don’t be afraid to try new things. You’re not tied to one style or one trope or one ship. Not everything you write is going to be for everyone, and that’s ok. You’ll have new people discover new works. You’ll try out new things and find your voice along the way. It’s part of the journey. Enjoy it.

4. Read

This is always the writing advice right? But read. Read the source material and get to know your characters. Read other fanfics, discover what you like and don’t like. Read anything you like at all and even if you’re not consciously noticing things like pacing and breaks and style, there’s a part of you that’s keeping track of what works/doesn’t work, what’s right/doesn’t sound right and your own writing will only get stronger for it

5. Don’t let stats rule your life

(In which your pal is the world’s biggest hypocrite)

It is So!Tempting! to post and refresh every thirty seconds and wait for the comments and kudos to come in and see what everyone things (Hi, I’m the problem, it’s me). Try not to do this. I’ve started posting at times when I can’t do this - right before I have somewhere to go. Right before bed (ha! sometimes that works, sometimes that backfires).

Look. I get it. You wrote something and worked hard and poured yourself into it and worked up the nerve to share it and now you just want to know if everyone loves it the same way you do. I am literally the worst offender here. But. Try to remember that post that’s all like (paraphrasing): it’s tempting to look at each comment and be like: it’s only one. Only five. Only 17. 30. Whatever. But each and every one is a real person that was there and read your work and stopped to say Hey! I liked this. And when you’re looking at a number on a screen it doesn’t feel like a lot, but if every one of those was someone standing next to you in your living room or at your writing desk telling you they liked your work, it sure would seem like a lot.

Literally anything you write and put out there - someone’s life is better for it. And isn’t that worth it? 💕

#your pal’s lecture series #writing things #fanfic writing

[comradekatara]

ok someone needs to talk me out of writing a xai bau lok prequel spy novel before I keep plotting this out in my head I do NOT have time for this!!!!!

I WILL NOT TALK U OUTTA THIS I NEED THIS BADLY 😫😫😫😫🤯🤯

No fr no one talks about this character and he’s probably really fun to write about 🤗

fine, then!!! you enabled me. 5 months later, but i finally finished outlining this. my take on xai bau's origin story.

if you’ve heard me talk about how I would restructure lok, then you know I find the red lotus conflict to be by far the most compelling antagonistic force in the series. (the equalist movement is poorly handled and thematically hollow, the raava/vaatu conflict is contrived and theologically simplistic, and kuvira just doesn’t really make sense?) that’s why I think a prequel to lok (especially the far superior version of lok that lives in my head) would necessarily be the origin story of the red lotus, centering on xai bau himself. 

I’ve talked before about how I think the most compelling antagonist in xai bau’s journey would not be aang (although he’s certainly up there, just by virtue of being the avatar), but sokka. as a fellow member of the white lotus, I think xai bau would start off idolizing sokka somewhat, and look up to him as an aspirational figure. but he’d also take issue with a lot of other members of the white lotus, namely iroh, and sokka’s camaraderie with the dragon of the west would lay the foundation for xai bau’s disillusionment, similarly to how ming hua first loses faith in katara upon learning of her partnership with zuko. xai bau gradually goes from seeing sokka as a brilliant balance-bringer and his comrade to seeing him as a ruthless machinator who has the unique and terrifying power of bringing the world to its knees without breaking a sweat (sort of like jianzhu, but even more powerful, because he effortlessly has every world leader in his pocket). 

and xai bau isn’t necessarily wrong in his assessment of sokka’s power: he does have the unconditional trust of every world leader, and he has been known to take that for granted (mostly because he doesn’t actually see them as Important World Leaders, but rather, friends and family). xai bau can’t help but rankle at his steely pragmatism, his condescension towards those he deems intellectually inferior (which is a lot of people, but namely king kuei), and his general air of grouchiness (especially when someone he considers stupid tries to question his ideas). without knowing sokka, truly seeing his kind heart and selfless intentions, it can be easy to assume he’s just a calculating control freak who wants to inflict his will upon the entire world from the shadows. and the more sokka says all the right things to mitigate xai bau’s concerns, the more xai bau is convinced that he’s manipulating him, a schemer with a perfect mask. so he devises a plan. 

i really liked that the dawn of yangchen employed a consistently shifting pov, since it allowed for the reader to understand the motivation of multiple characters who were often at odds with one another. that said, i would structure this hypothetical novel with a less linear chronology (no surprise there if u know me at all lol), by splitting it into three distinct parts: the first being xai bau’s growing disillusionment with the white lotus, penning his manifesto and gathering support in secret, and his plan to assassinate sokka; the second shifting to sokka’s perspective of the same events, how he keeps tabs on xai bau while simultaneously trying to conceal the danger he is in from those closest to him, and finally confronting xai bau about the whole thing; and then the third part returning to xai bau’s pov once he has been apprehended and is taken to kyoshi island to live out his days doing community service under the supervision of the kyoshi warriors. maybe there’s an epilogue from someone else’s pov, like zaheer or ming hua, being radicalized by his manifesto. 

as for a more granular breakdown of the plot, i’ve written up a more thorough outline under the cut. 

PART I – XAI BAU 

childhood: xai bau discovering his parents’ white lotus robes and learning that his family has an entire history of being part of the white lotus spanning centuries, and wanting nothing more than to someday continue that legacy. 

initiation: his parents died in the war, but they were highly regarded members, for which admiration and condolences are expressed by senior members; since he’s the new youngest member besides sokka, sokka decides to take him under his wing, and gets to know him while playing pai sho (it proves a very challenging game, as they are both excellent players). 

membership: xai bau learning more about the individual members of the white lotus, especially emphasizing the ones he dislikes, both for their histories (eg iroh) and their opinions (eg pakku). he’s quickly realizing that this isn’t a place where everyone agrees as he was hoping it would be. unfortunately there are just as many wrong and stupid people here as there are across the rest of the world. 

befriending sokka: at first, xai bau really admires sokka. he’s only a few years older, but xai bau regards him as something of a mentor nonetheless. he thinks it’s so cool that this young nonbender has made such a name for himself through his intelligence alone. and he likes that sokka isn’t afraid to criticize people in positions of authority.

observing sokka: they tend not to talk about their personal lives. sokka only ever wants to talk politics, science, art, philosophy, and xai bau respects that, happily engaging in good-natured intellectual debates with him. but then xai bau walks in on him playing pai sho with iroh one day, and happens to overhear their conversation. they’re talking about the avatar and the firelord as if they’re children who need to be nannied. it disturbs him to his core. 

suspecting sokka: xai bau wants to brush off what they said as a joke, but it nags at him. the white lotus were never meant to be puppeteers of power. he starts asking sokka more personal questions, getting more and more suspicious when sokka brushes him off with flippant jokes. he just wants reassurance that he hasn’t been putting his faith in a villain, but the more he uncovers the more sick he feels. 

stalking sokka: it becomes an obsession. xai bau starts tracking sokka closely, witnessing his interactions with world leaders. the white lotus isn’t supposed to be besties with the avatar. they aren’t supposed to advise the earth king and firelord and water tribe chiefs—and certainly not at the same time. they may keep those powers in check, but they don’t control them. this man has manipulated the entire world into following him, and xai bau is disgusted with himself to think that he fell for it too. 

the first attempt: xai bau decides that for the good of the world, sokka must die. but he also knows that this murder cannot be traced back to him under any circumstances. he finds an ex-yuyan archer who has nothing to lose and hires him to take sokka out. xai bau takes it as a good sign when the man doesn’t return, only to see sokka at the next white lotus meeting with nary a scratch. 

the second attempt: xai bau decides he must take matters into his own hands. he follows sokka into the jasmine dragon and slips poison in his tea. he watches from across the room as sokka sits with toph and iroh, taking small sips of his tea every few minutes. but when iroh gets up to go greet new customers, sokka turns to toph and is like “don’t tell iroh, but i think there’s something wrong with this tea. i’ve only been pretending to drink it to be polite.” xai bau then watches in horror as sokka takes his cup, dumps its contents outside and returns, complimenting iroh on his tea. 

the third attempt: xai bau hires pirates to kill sokka, promising them that they can keep his sword if they’re successful. but of course, they aren’t. 

meeting june: xai bau happens across a woman who can track anything and take down anyone. this gives him an idea. 

june’s agreement: she says she’s down to capture sokka for a large enough sum. besides, she’s known that guy for a while, and he’s always been an asshole and a nuisance. she says she doesn’t kill people, but that she doesn’t mind capturing someone and then looking the other way if that’s what xai bau intends to do. 

the prisoner: xai bau gets a message that sokka has been captured, and to meet them at a location on the very outskirts of ba sing se. he enters the abandoned, dilapidated shack, and sees the bounty hunter sitting at a table with a drink in her hand while sokka sits across from her, tied to a chair. she assures xai bau that sokka’s been immobilized by nylah’s tongue, and pours him a drink. they clink glasses in celebration of their mission being almost over. 

the confrontation: the second xai bau finishes his drink, he can feel his limbs go numb as he flops to the ground. sokka easily unties himself from the chair and ties xai bau instead, using some extremely advanced knots just to be safe. xai bau can’t speak because the poison hasn’t worn off. june is sitting in the corner sipping her (unpoisoned) drink. sokka patiently waits until xai bau can form words again before saying, “i just want to know why.” 

PART II – SOKKA 

a botched attempt: sokka is walking through the city when he nearly gets struck by an arrow. he barely manages to deflect it with his boomerang. he throws his boomerang in the direction the arrow came from, and then ducks behind a building to take shelter as another arrow whizzes past him. when the third arrow doesn’t come, he assumes he’s hit his target, and follows the trail to where the former yuyan archer is knocked unconscious. 

a confidant: sokka confesses to suki that he thinks someone is making a concerted attempt on his life, and he has a suspicion as to whom. suki immediately suggests bringing in the gaang, but sokka doesn’t want anyone else to know, especially not their friends, and makes her swear not to tell anyone. 

an argument: sokka goes to the fire nation to advise the firelord in an official capacity. zuko expresses his concerns with sokka’s disposition (he seems... off. like, worse than usual). sokka assures him that he is simply dealing with a personal issue and for him not to worry. of course, this worries zuko further, as why is sokka implying that zuko shouldn’t be allowed to help sokka with a personal matter if he wants to? this annoys sokka, and he decides not to visit zuko or katara any more until this matter has been dealt with, and that if he does see happen to see aang and/or toph, he will not tell them anything that could concern them. 

a meeting: sokka sees xai bau again at the next white lotus meeting, noticing smugly that xai bau is doing little to hide his shock at sokka’s presence. later that night, he replaces xai bau’s white lotus tile with his own. 

an old friend: sokka tells june about the guy who’s trying to kill him. he asks her how she’d like to mess with him for a while. she smiles. he hands her a bag. inside is a single white lotus tile. 

a rendezvous: june tells sokka that she tracked xai bau and his next plan of attack involves pirates. sokka takes the necessary precautions by refusing to leave mai and ty lee’s sides until the pirates have been dealt with. 

a trick: sokka and june agree to initiate the next phase of their plan: she will happen to advertise her skills in front of xai bau “by complete coincidence,” at which point he will hire her services. 

a conversation: xai bau is hurt by june’s supposed betrayal. he had really thought that at least one person in this cruel world was not already in sokka’s pocket. since he has nothing to lose, when sokka asks “why?” he tells him the truth. tells him everything. sokka thoughtfully mulls it over before attempting to defend himself. but xai bau won’t hear it. sokka’s excuses only serve to make him more furious, so sokka decides it’s a fruitless endeavor to attempt to clear his name, and instead asks him if he’s any good at gardening. xai bau’s just like “what?” 

PART III – KYOSHI ISLAND

the arrival: xai bau, disgraced and devastated by the revelation that sokka was playing him the whole time, has no choice but to go with sokka to kyoshi island. 

the welcome: xai bau arrives on kyoshi island, welcomed by a friendly and bubbly ty lee. he then meets suki, who is far less inviting. 

the tour: suki teaches xai bau about kyoshi island agriculture and supervises his community service work while bullying him relentlessly. 

the coquette: his first few weeks in the village, xai bau, unsurprisingly, attempts to get to know ty lee better. he ends up spilling his entire life story to her, only to later realize he still knows absolutely nothing about her. 

the avatar: three months later, aang visits kyoshi island. it’s a surprise visit, so the kyoshi warriors have done little to prepare for his arrival. he meets xai bau, only vaguely recognizing him from their previous meetings amongst the white lotus. he assumes that xai bau is a friend of suki's, since suki refuses to say otherwise. with aang completely oblivious to xai bau’s true identity, they engage in a thoughtful, intellectual discussion over the spiritual and political role of the avatar in the world. they both come away from the conversation appreciating the other despite their (frankly, minimal) differences in ideology. 

the friend group: it’s been a couple years since xai bau was first brought to kyoshi island, and he has settled into a comfortable routine here. he’s gradually been given more freedom around the village, once it’s made apparent that he’s not a threat to anyone there. in fact, he very much approves of their equal, joyful, communal way of life, and other than his distaste for the avatar as a sociopolitical figure, he appreciates and enjoys the kyoshi island lifestyle. then, the entire gaang arrives. it is then that he first meets katara. 

the dream girl: since katara has never taken much interest in the affairs of the white lotus, and knows absolutely nothing about xai bau’s attempts on her brother’s life, she is completely unaware as to who he is, assuming him to be a native of suki’s village. xai bau thinks that she is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, and after hearing her scold sokka, he decides right then and there that she is the love of his life. 

the romance: xai bau does everything in his power to get katara to notice him, and soon enough she does. she can’t help but find him charming: he’s tall, he’s intelligent, his parents died in the war, he’s a communist – he’s everything she looks for in a man. they sit on the beach at night after everyone has gone to bed and talk until sunrise. 

the rejection (katara’s pov): katara knows that sokka is immediately suspicious of any man katara likes, but this time he’s adamant that xai bau is no good. he deliberately neglects to mention why he dislikes xai bau so much, instead he’s just like “katara, trust me, you would not like this guy, don’t ask how i know just please trust me when i say that he’s bad news.” but katara is just like “ok liberal.” eventually it isn’t any of sokka’s cryptic warnings, but witnessing suki mercilessly eviscerate him; seeing him so thoroughly emasculated gives her the ick. she kindly tells him that she doesn’t think it’ll work between them, but that she hopes they can still be friends. 

the reality: xai bau is devastated that the world’s most perfect woman rejected him, and then he realizes that a relationship with sokka’s sister would’ve never actually worked out anyway. sokka says as much, asks him what the hell he was thinking. xai bau admits honestly that he wasn’t thinking, he just saw katara and all reason flew out the window. sokka warns him that if katara ever knew what he did, what he tried to do, she would drown him where he stood. xai bau asks sokka why none of his friends and family (with the exception of suki) seem to know who he is. sokka just laughs. 

EPILOGUE: zaheer reading xai bau’s manifesto.

additional notes: 

each chapter begins with “a selected quote” from xai bau’s red lotus manifesto. this provides the most insight into the nature of his writing. the quotes are selected in terms of thematic application to each chapter. 

xai bau grew up in the fire nation colonies. his parents were earth kingdom revolutionaries who died fighting against their occupiers a year prior to the war’s end. xai bau has always felt that the firelord and the avatar never quite did enough to decolonize the fire nation. 

in parts 1&2, sokka is 25 and xai bau is 22. in part 3 after the timeskip, xai bau is 24 and katara is 25. 

sokka is initiated into the white lotus within a year after the war's end. he is one of the youngest members in its history.

their game of pai sho in the second chapter illustrates sokka’s strategy for their broader dynamic: lose the first round, and then use the information about their gameplay he accrued to beat them every time afterwards. making them feel like they’ve won is the easiest way to predict what they’ll do next. 

xai bau believes that power should be in the hands of the people and therefore does not believe in sovereigns or the power the avatar wields, but he does like aang and katara as individuals. he also respects suki, despite the fact that her boyfriend is his nemesis and she blatantly hates his guts. that said, he thinks zuko and toph are huge simps and cannot stand them. 

xai bau writes his manifesto across the course of his life, and despite never leaving kyoshi island, it manages to disperse to every corner of the globe. aang and katata both get their hands on a copy and find it very interesting. there’s no mention of sokka’s name anywhere in the text, so he decides that it’s harmless enough and doesn’t try to halt its production. 

yes, katara is single at age 25 when she meets xai bau. [holds gun to your head] don’t question it. 

I know that I previously said that fc yee would kill a novel like this, but I want to make it clear that this is not how I think he would write and structure it. he is very much a genre writer, and each of his avatar novels has followed the same classical structure of a typical piece of genre fiction, with protagonists and antagonists, rising action, and a defined climax in the third act. that’s not actually an example of the novels I typically enjoy most, nor the ones I want to write. think of this perhaps closer to a novel like notes from underground, which uses its first part to establish the narrator’s psyche, and the second part to entirely reframe his philosophy by showing it in action. similarly, this story would establish a typical conflict for a protagonist and his antagonist, then flip it on its head by making the previous “antagonist” the “protagonist” and showing how everything our previous pov character thought he knew was wrong, and then going back to his pov after he has failed, and finally, watching him adjust to a completely different lifestyle, with entirely different challenges, eschewing the previous establishment of this as a spy novel entirely. my house my rules baby!!! 

working title is how to win at pai sho every time. (if you get that reference, mazel tov.)

#finally finished writing this ! whew #i should make a tag for posts like these #outlines #xai bau #notsosecrettunnel #asks #sokka #red lotus #white lotus #postwargaang #what if i actually wrote this whole thing tho.......... #jk #.......unless?