#ok but he would totally do that

[beatcroc]

there's no way the bathroom at peppino's pizza is actually that big but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . hey ummm anyway.... i care them...... anyway there's a lil ramble on my take on fake pep's like psyche or whatever in tags on the og post if ur into that kinda thing :y

hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino]<- u are here [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]

#ramble after realtags yeag. shoutout to serrangelic btw suggesting the silhouettes thing bc i would have Died otherwise #pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #gustavo and brick #arting #pizzaposting #so anyway i think fake peppino has like. a general awareness that he is supposed to Be Peppino and that he was Made to do that #and likewise he does generally try to...do that. the thing he does NOT realize is hes like really goddamn bad at it #not to be mean but like...c'mon. they are pretty distinctly different kinds of guys even beyond the physiology yknow. #he's neither on-brand nor fooling anyone dsjdsjjkgfsd. BUT! #since the rest of the cast generally likes him [at least as I play it] he thinks hes doing just fine #he's like 'oh they r happy with me so i must be getting a good grade in being peppino :)' #so getting told that 'yeah you actually really suck at that but that was never the reason people liked you' #and told that by og model peppino no less--yknow THE guy he's supposed to be living up to #who's already a bit intimidating for that and who ALSO totally wrecked him TWICE in the tower #making him acutely familiar with just how formidable the guy is and how much there IS to live up to.... #it's a Moment for sure. not really a sad or hurt one though. just... contemplative. #thinking abt people liking him for being the guy he's already naturally been being even though that guy is Not Peppino #i don't think he's gonna be super broken up about realizing he has a bad grade in peppino given everything else hes got now #nor do i really think he cares enough to go like reinvent himself or whatever after the fact #he seems to b pretty clearly having fun with it already so i think he just keeps doing that #and in some cases he still has the pre-installed peppino traits/instincts like to cooka da pizza. and that's fine #is this projection. yes. but if youve been following me awhile you know most of my character writing is ghdhfdgf #gonna kinda expand on all this in the gerome one which is...one after next. itll be a bit but man. #anyway peppino will never admit to anyone and especially not himself that he's gotten a little attached to the guy. hee hoo #pep tends to be kinda surly but he certainly has his ways of showing he cares. all of which are on display here #''that thing is not my son'' says man currently watching thing's antics with the 'bemused dad' arms crossed pose. yeah ok buddy. #gus is totally onto him already but hes not gonna say anything. #if u read all this ur prize is not having to go decode fp's rot13. his lines are ''meant to be you...?'' and ''wrong question.''

[cosmobrain00]

I think mike not reaching out to will is important actually. btw

#listen I rmber seeing all the phonegate shit n being like “yeah yeah ok I see..” but never being fully convinced for a few reasons #1. there's no actual evidence to support it. its speculation at the end of the day #2. if we're going w the “mike totally realizes hes in love w will” thing at the end of s3 it would make much more sense for him NOT- #-to reach out. do u feel me? #3. its a way for character apologists to point at smthing n say “see! look! he rlly isnt tht bad!” bc theyre allergic to their faves- #-fucking up/ being hurtful #anyways #mike wheeler #byler

[bizarrelittlemew]

every time i see "Ed asks Lucius to write down his lyrics" used as an argument for claiming that Ed can't write i just want to. you know. point out that Stede has Lucius write down everything he says?? and does?? all the time?? and when he can't find Lucius he asks Frenchie (who actually cannot write) to do it instead of just writing it himself. and we know Stede can write. it's got nothing to do with ability to write, just that the captains don't seem to want to write stuff themselves when they have an employee whose job is to do that exact thing for them

#this is not with any specific post in mind but i think this every time that point is brought up #like idk if ed can write (i think he can based on the scrolls and books in his room and he can definitely read) #and he is a genius no matter what #but i just think it's ~funny~ how 'ed asks lucius to write sth down instead of writing it himself' is used to argue that ed CAN'T do it #when stede does it ALL THE TIME. FROM THE VERY BEGINNING #it's just fancy captain behavior and having lucius do his job (his actual job and not whatever izzy seems to think lucius' job is lmao) #ok now i got it out thanks this keeps bothering me #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #i guess #also it's hard to write while eating jam AND staring dramatically at a candle i totally get it #like if i had a scribey person in my employ i would also choose to dictate to them instead of writing myself lmao especially with quills

[suffarustuffaru]

hi i made a tier list of how homophobic rezero characters are

hello in the spirit of valentine's day and the very welcoming community here on rezero tumblr i decided to make this with the help of my lovely mutuals.

#anyway heres some fun little explanations if youd like to read: #otto has. so much internalized shit going on i dont even know where to begin. not as severe as like subaru fr and def not in the same way a #whatevers happening with ferris but like by the time u get to arc 8 hes a total shitshow LJSLDKF #like ottos. transphobic. canonically. with natsumi schwartz. and then hes def got More going on bc his attachment style is soo.... #wilhelm and heinkel i think would def be homophobic outside of reinhard/reinhard related things but its funnier to describe it like that ok #and either way the main target of their homophobia is gonna be reinhard LMAO #oni elders suck ok. theyd all be homophobic #rams got a strong case of comphet rn but when she doesnt have comphet shes chillin with subarus gf and having wlw mlm hostility with subaru #and otto. the entire judges your taste tier is all insane teen girls or frufoo and patrasche (who DEFINITELY judge otto and subarus taste) #frufoo patrasche are like that one reddit post about that one guys dog being homophobic after seeing their owner get topped in gay sex #also als in that tier bc al. #alcor is technically subaru but he gets to be a tier lower than subaru bc. hes also not technically subaru its very complicated but #at least he doesnt have the entire boy drama subaru has LSJDF #reids iconic line is the ones where he calls julisuba boyfriends u know. its extremely iconic. #a dear mutual of mine has informed me tivey is in lol ok while his triplet siblings wouldnt know what being gay is which LKJDSLFSD thats #fucking funny i had to do it #id argue satella is in lol ok bc she lets subaru do almost anything ok. this includes being terribly into men. she knows shes got his heart #either way. and also elsa dont care unless it affects how ur guts taste #rems reaction is gonna be lol ok unless its subaru coming out to her. then shes gonna have some Mixed Feelings #rezero #re:zero #i forgot to add but u could def argue garf knows what being gay is bc his two older brothers are just Like That #but also neither of his brothers would be caught dead explaining what being gay is to him

[zeb-z]

see ok I don’t think it’s bad who stole the furniture because he didn’t go to f5 and zoom in on himself a billion times

#also a stamp of innocence from foolish is a stamp from me in bbh’s case tbfh #if it is bad I will be extremely surprised. it really does go against all his characters goals rn plus it was so sloppy #if bad had done it there wouldn’t be a damn chair anywhere on the island. he would have been thorough as all get out. his points of #‘ok I didn’t do it but if I did-‘ when he runs into a chair are so fair because yeah! this is so true!! #if he was gonna be petty and throw a shitstorm furniture stealing tantrum to go against forever or whatever he would have gone 100% all in #he would have gone so far in it would have been fucking crazy of him to find some of the furniture he’d be stealing #anyways I don’t got real money on anyone rn I’m leaning towards pac and richas tho #maybe willyrex? I doubt it though he’s going around planting mines totally different MO rn #mcyt #qsmp #bbh #z speaks

[stellarspecter]

okay i don't know if the hyperfixation will hold long enough for me to actually write this but au where everything is the same but the waylon house is just a bit more structurally sound. max doesn't die and is like 'thanks for this guys, is that the whole party or?' and everyone just sort of looks at each other like. well we don't want to anger him so what can we say but yes. and so the nerds and max end up hanging out for a night in the waylon house and the worst thing that happens is grace chastity is tempted to have a beer for the first time (she doesn't though. but with max offering it's very hard for her to refuse. or focus lol) max keeps giving them weird backhanded compliments like 'wow you guys are way cooler than you look, how'd that happen' which is not the best but it's way better than being beat up for daring to be in his line of sight, so they'll take it.

so they all hang out for the night, max is like weirdly chill and friendly, eventually he leaves and they're left standing outside the waylon house like. ?? what the fuck??? did we just befriend max jagerman???? the nerds are still apprehensive considering pete still has a black eye, grace is still boiling with religious zeal and repressed lust, and steph still doesn't really like him, but they can't help but remember how he said that trying to prank him was the nicest thing someone's ever done for him. and that just can't be true, considering he's literally the star quarterback and the main character of hatchetfield high, but.... the fact that he felt like it enough says a lot, doesn't it?

so they decide to leave the prank footage to gather dust and figure this was probably the best outcome they could have hoped for. who knows what they'll walk into at school tomorrow? maybe max will become a friend.

#and he does :) #nerdy prudes must die #npmd spoilers #npmd #i just. the brainworms. they're in me #if anything it would just be a oneshot i'm not trying to rewrite the show or anything #but like yeah max joins the friend group :) #do you ever think about how genuinely touched he was that they basically made him his own haunted house? #that shit was exposure therapy and they didn't even know it #and like dear god 'this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me'??? lines to go crazy about forever!!!! #bc like he's popular he's a star everyone knows him but no one's nice to him? do we know anything about his family? #and like obviously he's an asshole so like yeah why would people be nice to him if he's such a dick #but like.... consider this: babygirl #he was really endearing in that minute between being pranked and dying ok? #he was like a totally different person the minute the social pressure was gone #ok ok enough tag rambling. if enough people want this i will actually write it #*speaks

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

(context for watcher/listener!sausage can be found in the “videos” tag on my blog if you want it, but this ficlet can be read without said context)

- - -

“Y’know, of all the Hermits I was expecting to be pulling me into a dark corner tonight, I did not expect you to be first, Grian! I love the initiative!”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” Grian says in a voice near a hiss. He’s got Sausage by the wrist, leading him into a small area of the upper floor of the tavern in Sanctaury that does look like it was built for the exact purpose Sausage is implying. Grian decides to ignore that as well.

“What are you doing here?” Grian’s straight to the point. He always has to be, with these Things, if he doesn’t want to get trapped in a loop of slant rhyming pleasantries.

“What do you mean?” Sausage asks, shaking his wrist out of Grian’s tight grip and leaning comfortably against the wall. “This is where I live. It’s my home. If anything, I should be asking you mysterious strangers what you’re doing here, but I’m sure you’ve heard that question enough for one day.”

“You know exactly what I mean.” Grian crosses his arms and tries his best not to look petulant, but he sure feels like it. “I thought They’d given up on trying to snatch me back, so why would They send you of all people? What’s your game?”

Sausage laughs, honest to god laughs, like he can’t believe Grian’s even asking him such a question. Grian thinks it’s a reasonable question, in this scenario, but what he thinks and what’s reasonable rarely seems to matter with these things.

“They didn’t send me,” Sausage looks him up and down in that way that makes Grian have to physically stop himself from curling inwards. This is why he never talks to Them. “Nobody sends me anywhere, they don’t tell me what to do and I like it that way! I just do my own thing. Isn’t that what you’re doing?”

“No you’re not! You’re not- you can’t be! That’s not how this works!” Grian begins to notice that he’s no longer whisper-shouting and starting to just-normal-shout and takes a deep breath, trying not to draw the attention of his friends enjoying themselves on the floor below. And, realistically, in the other dark corners Sausage seems to have built into this place.

“That’s exactly how this works. You didn’t think you were the only person who’d left, did you?”

Grian opens his mouth, closes it, and thinks. In hindsight… yeah, he had kind of assumed he’d been the only person who’d left. Not for lack of trying, probably- but They’d tried for so long to get him back, kept him closely surveilled even when They’d accepted he was gone- surely some people had caved to that pressure eventually. When there was no sign They’d ever let up, ever let you go… he could understand eventually letting it overtake you.

“Did- did you leave, too?” Grian doesn’t remember the last time he saw Sausage’s face. He didn’t know him back then, of course. He probably would’ve connected the man with the person Pearl so often spoke about sooner. But he knows it’s been a long time, maybe even longer than the last time Grian had gone There. He doesn’t think Sausage had been There, that day. This might explain why.

“Eh, not quite?”

“What-“ Grian flails, both mentally and with his arms a bit. “What do you mean not quite?”

“Exactly what I said! I was never- it’s complicated, y’know?”

“Explain. Now.”

“Well, uh,” Sausage seems to flounder for the first time since this conversation started, which Grian is choosing to take as a victory. “Look, I wasn’t- they didn’t pick me. For this, or for anything, ever. Sometimes things just happen and you get yourself into a place you shouldn’t have and then… they can’t get rid of me, I can’t get rid of them, it is what it is.”

Grian stares at him for a long moment. Really stares at him, in the same way Sausage had looked him over earlier, in the same way that makes you feel like you’re under a microscope. Judging by the sudden nerves in his eyes, Grian can assume he feels it too. Grian remembers his face. That had been the first thing he’d noticed, when the Hermits had arrived. It had been a long time since they’d seen each other, but Grian knew his face. And now that Grian was studying him, really trying to remember… he’s not sure he quite likes what memories he’s dredging up.

“What are you?”

“Grian!” Sausage’s voice drips with mock offense as he puts his hand up to partially cover his mouth. “We only just met, do you think that’s polite?”

“Answer the question,” Grian sighs. How Pearl deals with this man on the regular, he doesn’t know.

“Well, if you insist.” Sausage sighs, somehow even more exaggerated than his previous movements. “It’s just… if you’ll believe it, it’s somehow even harder to answer the first question.”

“It shouldn’t be,” Grian says. “They’re two very different People, you know.”

“But they’re the same species, when it all comes down to it. Like, you might be very different than a chicken, but you’re both birds in the long run.”

Grian pauses, fanning his wings out a bit behind him as he considers. “I don’t think that metaphor’s quite landing the way you want it to.”

“No, me neither. Anyways, let me continue.

When they don’t pick you, things go a little differently! You don’t get sorted onto one side or the other since, well, you’re not really supposed to be there? So I’m… whatever I want to be, really. I think I’m feeling like more of a Listener, today, but we’ll see how the mood shifts.”

Grian flinches at the Name, on instinct. He doesn’t know how to feel about that, so he files it away to be dealt with at a later date. As for the rest of what Sausage said-

“What?”

“You heard me.” Sausage shrugs. He’s so nonchalant, Grian thinks he might strangle him, if not for the worry that that’s exactly what he wants out of this, somehow.

“Did I? Did I hear you?” Grian wants to pace, but that requires leaving the security of the corner, so he forces his feet to root themselves to the floor. “I thought- I thought you had to- if you wanted to change sides, I thought you had to-“

Grian closes one eye and takes his thumb to it, twisting the finger into his eyelid. The gesture seems to get the point across.

“Well, that’s the funny thing about this, actually.” From the way he’s been talking, Grian assumed Sausage thought this whole thing was funny. He restrains himself from saying that out loud if only so Sausage will finish his explanation.

Sausage reaches up to his left eye, pulls his eye lid back a bit, and unceremoniously pops out his prosthetic eye.

“All these processes and rituals actually have a lot of loopholes.”

Grian doesn’t know what face he’s making, but it’s enough to make Sausage giggle while he pops the eye back in. Because of course he does. Because this how his day is going, apparently. Walk through a weird portal in his basement and wake up in a world filled with his friends who don’t recognize him and also a guy he only ever saw There, who he was never supposed to see again. Sure. Of course he’s laughing about it. Grian thinks if he was a slightly different person, he’d be laughing too. It is, undeniably, absurd.

“Well, I think we’re done here then!” Grian would probably object if he weren’t so shocked about the loopholes. As it is, he just stands there a bit stupidly.

Sausage turns away to return to the party before turn around again for just a moment, reaching over, and ruffling Grian’s hair. That shocks him enough to shake him out of his stupor and swat Sausage’s hand away, though not before his hair is suitably messed up.

“What was that for?!”

Sausage smiles as he reaches up to rough up his own hair as well. “I assumed you didn’t want your friends asking questions about why you were dragging me into a dark corner, you know?” Sausage even goes far enough to pull his shirt a bit out of where it’s tucked into his pants, because of course he does. Grian tries not to cringe, but Sausage is right about this one thing. It is the easiest way to dodge any questions about where he’d gone off to- at the expense of the many knowing looks and teasing remarks he’ll be getting from the other Hermits instead.

“Have a good night, Grian!” Sausage calls over his shoulder as he turns to leave for real this time. “And remember, drinks are on me for all you guests tonight! You look like you need it.”

#empires smp #hermitcraft #grian #mythicalsausage #hermitfic #empiresfic #long post #my writing #….do i need to tag shipping on this #they’re not actually DOING anything. and i would say i’m not really going much further than sausage usually does #but like. idk man. if i wake up in the morning and decide i need to tag shipping i will #anyways. fics for an audience of like two people total #but that’s ok cause i like this SO MUCH #the first few sentences have been rotting in my tumblr drafts for like at least two months #and i finally kicked myself into gear to just finish it #and i had fun! i liked the way i used capitalization here to really wedge the difference between how these two think of the watchers #(and listeners) #grian doesn’t necessarily respect them but he does still see them as Other. and he’s maybe a little afraid #so all the important stuff gets capitalized #sausage doesn’t. he doesn’t respect them and he doesn’t fear them and they’re just a weird bureaucracy to him #so no capitalization! #also ten seconds after posting this i got a post on my dash #of sausage posting a screenshot of e’s tumblr post about him checking tumblr in their twitter replies #terrifying. hey king if you see this keep the bit up. i think it’s funny

[yorshie]

My sister-in-law got me drunk and now all I can think about is how the turtles would react to a drunk reader like how would care for them who would be made im SPIRALING

#Leo would totally be kinda mad about it but also like hella nervous like are you ok are you alright do I need to come get you #oh he’d hold your hair and get you drinks but also would not have any patience for hangovers in the morning like you did this to yourself #raph would think it’s fucking hilarious once he has you safe and sound where he can watch over you #fuck though if someone tried anything with you he’d ducking send them to the morgue in a sheet #raph in the morning would make you greasy food and chuckle while he holds your hair back for you if you puke #Donnie would be the kind to limit where you can go like you’re drunk? no you can’t have more no you can’t go out sit still #have a trashcan there for you to puke in though #get you Gatorade and snackies as soon as he knows you won’t puke in his lab #oh course he’s got you laying in his bed it’s where you’ll be comfortable #….Mikey’s drunk with you you wake up in his bed #edit came back they’d all have you quarantined by the end of the night like no you are not getting out of their sight so sorry #not sorry drink some water sweetheart you’re banned from liquor

[sorrelpaws]

BACK TO TOTALLY NORMAL RICK AND MORTY ADVENTURES!!!!!

#rick and morty #morty smith #rick sanchez #spoilers #i liked this ep #still gonna probably make a big boy textpost on it BUT FOR NOW my most surface level thoughts #more morty is always a treat and i rlly hope these final 4 eps live up to the classic adventures promise #but specifically in terms of these 2 #because like....... no way the end of that episode was like.. serious #like the rift got sealed up and rick immediately fixes his prtal gun??? #like he seems so deranged in that last minute IDK MAN!!!! JUST SEEMS OFFPUTTING!!!!! #I DO NOT TRUST THAT!!!!!! #also the heatwave??? ive sen NO ONE mention the fucking heat wave???? hellooooooooooo #somethings up .... im sniffing something weird brewing here #ok anyway soo like rick is really chilling here and morty is kinda disoriented BECAUSE AGAIN #rick totally knows whats going on but moorrtyyy... hermmm maybe not so much yet #also hes holding onto his hat for dear life cause i thot it would be funny :3

[gayofthefae]

Season 2 Mike: desperately protects and loves Will, sleeps at his house, sleeps at his doctor's office, and tells him he's the best thing to ever happen to him. Will:🧍

Season 3 Mike: focuses on someone else. Will: Wait where did you go I liked us what happened :'(

Season 4 Mike: ignores Will. Will: ignores Mike for ignoring him. Mike: Why are you ignoring me????? That's really mean you know :(((( You ruined my day :(((((((

These fuckers are perfect for each other are you kidding me. (We're excusing them on account of they're 14 and also improving anyways)

#byler dynamic #this will forever be so fucking funny to me #because will gave 0 hints #im obviously he was busy #and then mike was like ok damn guess i'll date somebody else then #and then will was like why would you do that you broke my heart k bye #(oversimplification) #and then mike was like i can't look at you i'm coping with whatever tf just happened so i'm not gonna call you for 9 months #and will was like ok damn guess i won't talk to you either then #and then mike was like where have you been all day? it totally ruined my day i was so sad and also why didn't you call more? i missed you! #BRUH #stranger things #byler #byler povs

[iamademigodandwizard]

Scorpius has gotten into multiple fights and altercations because of Draco. Like someone will say something offense about Draco or the Malfoy’s, like “Draco Malfoy killed Dumbledore,” and Scorpius will correct them and then it will become like a big thing. I also just feel like Scorpius will get into a fight with professor binns because he said Draco killed Dumbledore.

#He totally would do this do #Scorpius defending Draco is a vibe #Ok I’ll stop ranting now #scorpius malfoy #draco malfoy #astoria malfoy #drastoria

[beatcroc]

pest control TWO!!!!! heres the first one

adn heres the obligatory bonus bc i can't help myself :')

#i already threatened that little basard twice in these i may as well make good on it #pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #the noise #fp ''oh god wait that is not a real rat and also tastes awful'' moments. he doesnt actually have any interest in eating that thang ok #even if seeing a small scampering little guy like that WILL activate his prey drive without fail #peppino loves it he thinks it's the funniest shit in the world for fp to go after noise. so he is always encouraging this. #but anyway yeah. fp is *really* not the one noise should be worried about. #arting #pizzaposting #i still have lots of tag room thjis time so im gonna do some tangential nonsense rambling. e #fp gotta be like crazy good at hunting i think. not just for strength and predator instincts but also bc like #he doesn't have much in the way of a scent or body heat or anything that would give him away as an alive thing #not to mention he's uh... not particularly organically-shaped a lot of the time #so esp. to smaller prey that don't like... memorize a landscape; if he holds very still he's like completely undetectable #total ambush king. though i'm sure hes also very good at #persistence and pursuit hunting since he has peppino's speed and no way of getting muscle fatigue. ultimate beast #fortunately he doesnt care that much and doesnt really need to eat so hes not devastating the local ecosystem or anything #except for the rats.

[mikesbasementbeets]

will in the van scene: i’m different (gay), which sometimes makes me feel like a mistake. but mike makes me feel like i'm not a mistake.

some people: wow... will would be ok with being gay if he wasn't gay for mike :/

will: no no no, i said mike makes me feel better for being different

some people: so tragic :/ gay boy would be ok with gay if only not for gay crush on mike

will: no listen that's the opposite of what i'm saying

some people: poor gay boy :/ so sad :/ let's cry everyone :/

#hi. that post died. it was a bad post the first time it was made. and it’s still a bad post. #loving mike makes will feel like being different is ok actually he explicitly says it. on your screen. in the show. #remember that? #also why do we have to make new posts that just say ‘hey remember this post let me just quote it exactly and make it mine instead’ #idk i just think if you want to claim to understand a character better than other people you should maybe watch the show more than like. One #time total. i think that would help. #anyway sorry byeeeeeeee #(requisite disclaimer I know different in that context is about more than being gay. but for the purpose of this post. yk) #beets posts

[thompsborn]

parksborn au where harry is a prince. that’s it. i’m not awake enough to think of anything else but harry is a prince and somehow him and peter become best friends as kids and grow up constantly aware of each other and the struggles they face but their struggles are completely opposite from each other’s and and. and. and.

#parksborn #thinking of like. like 8 year old prince harry sneaking off during an event and meeting stuck in poverty peter parker #recently orphaned living with his aunt and uncle but sneaking out at night to explore or something or just to do something because he hasnt #been able to sleep much since losing his parents #and harry is like imma be honest i have no clue where i am #and peter is like ur literally the prince?? this is your kingdom???? #and harry is like yeah but also i have left the palace grounds a total of 17 times #and peter is like ok well there’s a litter of puppies being raised by the street dog i’ve taken care of since i was 5. wanna meet them #i said im too tired to think of more and then i thought of more #and now it is the only thing i can think of #god the way i would be writing this right this second if i wasn’t literally half asleep currently

[helv-ete]

We‘ve all heard of punk phase England by now, so I raise you punk phase Germany

#ok hear me out #the man was raised by Prussia and Austris to be a soldier #so his entire childhood was probably vv strict #then we get to like the 70s and 80s and Germany‘s been locked away from them for a while #and he’s basically on his own to do whatever he wants #now he also has time to reflect on a lot of his life and is reevaluating a lot of the views he’s previously held #and would probably start to recognize the repression that was pushed on him #that along with the fact he’s still very young and on his own for the first time he’d be inclined to rebel #and what better way to stick it to you highly militaristic and authoritarian father figure than joining the punk movement #(also I think he’d agree with their politics generally so it’s not just rebelling for rebelling‘s sake) #this totally has nothing to do w the slight deutschpunk hyperfixation I’m having rn btw #hetalia #aph germany #hws germany

[tennessoui]

In the couples counseling au, I SUPER duper get a kick out of imagining the eventual fallout when the counselor breaches the topic of Anakin having a whole ass wife. Just the idea of some innocuous question of her asking Anakin like “well how would you feel if you discovered Obi Wan had a secret spouse?” And Anakin just. Just loses all color in his face, eyes bugging out of his head, panics in Obi Wan’s general direction. Obi Wan of course is oblivious.

anakin, internally: i would know if he had a secret spouse.

anakin to anakin: but didn't palpatine mention seeing him leave a senator's room once???? could that be his secret husband??

anakin: we have dinner every other night, he has no time for a spouse.

anakin to anakin: but we only have dinner with him every other night....that leaves plenty of nights where he could be either meeting his secret spouse or inviting them into his quarters.....MY home....

anakin: omg he could be spending time with his secret spouse while i'm visiting padmé.......

obi-wan: oh, look what you've done, counselor sheari, you've given him heart palpitations

anakin to anakin: he didn't deny it.

(after the session)

anakin on the star wars phone: hey pads, angel, light of my life, etc etc, my mindhealer said.....um.....(checks hand) that it would be good for me to spend continuous time in a familiar environment. like for weeks at a time. every meal. just in case.

padmé: oh excellent! when can i expect you tonight? i may be back late of course, but you know by now to make yourself at home.

anakin: yes well. about that..........

#asks #couples counseling au #even i dont know how many of these silly ask responses will show up in the fic #it depends on how many i remember i guess #but youre totally right anon anakin would flip at the idea of obi-wan having a secret wife #the counselor would be like ok lets roleplay #anakin youre meeting obi-wan's wife for the first time #it's a sign of intimacy and trust that he brings her to meet you and she's a perfectly lovely woman. how do you feel? #anakin (feeling absolutely rotten and dark sidey): Not gr9 right now my dude #obikin