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#oh well who knows not me
brekk3r · 4 days ago
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early morning time for emotion,,,,, uhhhh something something honestly in retrospect it was a bad idea but also the best thing to ever possibly happen to me that i got on tumblr young and planted myself in a few kind communities because otherwise i know i would be doing so so much worse now. literally don’t want to think abt how i would be if i wasn’t on here. still going to and i’m prolly gonna cry.
#hahaha let’s go thru the things i developed bc nice ppl were on here! and told me how to use this site and talked abt actual life!!#bisexuality. my dad loves his casual homophobia and my mom never stopped him. besides who knows what the fuck else#my anxiety. and other fun n sexy brain issues. like possibly depression. uhhh. well the only reason i can do anything in school when i’m#anxious is bc i got taught coping mechs on here. by genuine ppl w anxiety who knew what i was dealing w and not the weird teacher in my#school making a dumbass presentation years after i needed it. and same w other shit. i got plenty of coping mechs now. i love those bitches.#oh what else. any measure of confidence or self esteem. all of it. i was a bossy kid so of course i had like a little confidence before but#i think that anxiety was totally destroying that. and then like. i existed on here i got those posts on ur dash abt how to not make the bad#jokes and how it just took time and ppl who whenever i posted abt feeling shit trying to help.#oh course many lessons abt nuance. bc no one on this site knows how to read. thankful for that#i know many ppl have helped me w my homework on here tysm#and just like. little problems i have. remembering to eat. when my back hurts. it’s so fucking nice and lovely and im very thankful for it#god im prolly sleep deprived to be thinking abt this at 6 smthn in the morning and nearly crying about it#i’m just. very glad i was on here. not on other social media. i think there was a direct link between becoming active on here and shutting#off all my other socials until i decided i knew how to handle it. bc of y’all.#also all my little therapy posts. that’s definitely been a fun little place to figure out my problems and then sometimes ppl help!#this site does NOT need to go get a big head. but it and the ppl on it. <333#mars exe#og#truly this app is therapy for me#THATS FHE TAG??? WTF PAST ME ITS SUPPOSED TO ME THIS SITE. ILL FIX THAT LATER
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alcego · 9 days ago
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so i've been waffling abt whether or not i'll go back to the equestrian team next semester (there have been Issues™ that i'm not fond of) & i'm honestly thinking that if i do i'm gonna start doing western & drop their english practices bc:
western makes me open my hips just by virtue of stirrup placement & riding style
if i do at some point meet show qualifications for the western team i won't have to deal with the fucking batshit IHSA standards for hunters, which can be boiled down to "your eq should look good but also if you're not a twig we'll automatically place you lower bc it's 'not the right look'" (legit had a judge tell me to look into thigh slimming exercises bc i don't currently have the slim, streamlined look they prefer; she was out of line to say this, but do note that a judge is more than welcome to say "you don't have the look we're looking for" which means "we don't care how good a rider you are if you're fat")
western is actually pretty fun? and i feel like i'll learn more from the team's coach since she's primarily a western rider/trainer (& also i despise the way she runs english practices but that's neither here nor there lol)
our horses are 90% wanglish anyway, so at least this way i won't be asking a horse to do english things they've clearly never been trained to do
like i'm not thrilled with the team as a general rule of thumb but i want to give it another shot now that we've got new officers & things will be lightening up as we move past quarantine & if i still don't vibe i'll just dip bc it ain't worth it & i have a really good coach who i enjoy working with & is good at what she does outside of the team anyway
#mostly i'm just tired lol#the amount of drama this team makes is unreal like ok. ok. we get it.#had my actual literal coach talking shit about me WHILE I WAS RIDING BY HER and i got SO mad#bc a) she'd NEVER given me any feedback on the thing she was shittalking about & b) it was literally just. such a rude thing to say.#WHILE I WAS RIGHT THERE#like. okay.#''can't believe AJ's finally able to sit the canter on CARL [bounciest horse fucking alive]'' after they'd had me on a horse who#everyone knows is fucking HARD to sit properly FOR SEVERAL WEEKS IN A ROW#& they also treat me like i don't know anything? which is infuriating & makes me feel condescended to#especially bc i go to team practice the day after riding w/my other trainer#who has me on a green OTTB that i guarantee the vast majority of the girls on the team would not be able to ride well#and i placed HIGH in jumping classes with that horse in the open show#& they're still like ''oh let's tell AJ this very basic thing abt riding bc Clearly They Don't Know'' even tho i DO & i'm usually already#doing the thing#but i have a very subtle hand & seat (smth my trainer knows; she's seen me do no-stirrup work & remarked that i make it look easy)#(i just have a soft hand and communicate mostly through my seat which means that it looks like i'm not doing much when in reality i'm#working approx 10 billion dif things at the same time)#and i just hate being treated like i need to be spoken down to when ik the major issues they have with me are#a) i'm fat. i don't 'have the look.'#and b) they didn't see me ride until i was coming back from a literal broken foot#so i wasn't at my best and was actively rehabbing my leg since i lost a TON of muscle mass#& they were like ''oh well clearly this is what we should expect from AJ as a rider'' even tho they fucking Knew.#ANYWAY#i'm gonna talk it over w/my sister some more over the summer#but i'm not really hopeful about this team#our coach has been brought before the dean several times if that tells u anything#ugh#personal
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gotseventeens · 13 days ago
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on this getting into sf9 journey i’ve been these past few days i’ve realized i’ve watched a lot of things that they have been in for like the past year or so and every single time i stumble upon something i already saw i’m like 👁👄👁 because why tf didn’t i realize sooner lmao
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bigskydreaming · 15 days ago
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The truly annoying thing about the Night of the Owls movie is how damn EASY it would be to rewrite it as being about Dick instead......just change the timeline to having it set when Dick first comes to live with Bruce and early on into him becoming Robin, and bam, have Cobb (instead of Lincoln March) and the Court make their move then and try to appeal to Dick as belonging with them instead of Bruce.
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miabrown007 · 27 days ago
tell us your evil tikki headcanon 🙏
ohboy. okay, so one self-indulgent evil!Tikki headcanon coming right up
This spirals from my machiavellian!LuckyCharm take (also featured here and here), which is technically toying with the idea of what if the Lucky Charm worked in a “the end justifies the means” way. Meaning, that in desperate situations the object it gives would lead to morally grey or straight-up evil solutions to save the day. (For example, threatening the akumatized person’s loved ones to make them surrender.)
Since in the end the outcome -- defeating the akuma and preserving the jewels -- is what counts, isn’t it? And even if the Lucky Charm paves out a solution that doesn’t exactly sound right, it must know what it’s doing... After all, it’s always needed to save the day. There is no other solution. And since the “Miraculous Ladybug!” restores everything to its original state in the end, it isn’t just a big deal. Right?
(Wrong.)
This all originates from the blind respect for authority, for the role of the Guardian and the institution of the Order, we see in season 3. How protecting the Box is a greater good and thus all that counts in the end. (It’s not Marinette’s fault, really, she’s 14, she is not the one who should know better.)
So, Tikki comes into the picture because she’s the one “in control of the Lucky Charm’s object”, since it’s her magic that powers it. And if she agrees with all of the above (again, she supports the Order and Master Fu’s actions), then her moral attitude can screw the range of items the Lucky Charm can provide. Of what it considers acceptable.
Easy, anything.
In conclusion, the Order (and as their extension, Tikki) isn’t evil in a cartoonish sense. (Much like Hawkmoth,) they just have an original interpretation of the lines that can be crossed to reach their goal.
(Leaving Marinette and Adrien in a literal crossfire.)
#last resort#miraculous ladybug#evil!Tikki#master Fu salt#headcanon#okay so this is basically and AU but at this point who cares#ladyofthenoodle#but just imagine how fun it is when Marinette realizes what is going on and refuses to use the Lucky Charm#that leaves her without her trusted and well-practiced method to save the day most likely leading to a defeat again Hawkmoth#and leaving her in learned helplessness because the one solution she has build her carrier on has failed her and if the solut#that's the real fun ladies and gents coming back from there#aka I should really write that second installment to WUS because it's pretty much just left off not finished but I don't feel committed eno#also you can't tell me that Tikki NOT telling Marinette that she reject Adrien daily isn't evil#and she also knows that Adrien is in love with someone else (well it's also Marinette but he can't know that so he'd just reject her all th#and doesn't even consider telling her that there is something not exactly right with this situation but she can't tell why#but oh wait that's Master Fu's rule that they can't know each others identities because Su Han didn't seem impressed by it AT ALL#but shouldn't Tikki know that the past Ladybugs and Chat Noir didn't keep secrets?#shouldn't she see that the NY heroes are just fine with their identity being public knowledge?#she's a billion years eternal being for crying out loud she SHOULD know better#and she can also clearly see that the identities are only causing them trouble so tell me#tell me what's her excuse because I can't see a good one#in conclusion Tikki is b a d n e w s. thanks for coming to my TED talk!#oop#Tikki salt#I guess that's a thing now#(I am not actually this vehement about this but let's just say if I have to write a kwami I much prefer Plagg)
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risinglegacy · 28 days ago
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     𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐘 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄,  𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀, 𝐃𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐒.
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     ❝   This might just be my opinion and everything, but being an asshole doesn’t make you cool or anything, you know that, right?   ❞
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hangender · 28 days ago
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getting dumped by my girlfriend w no warning living in one of the toughest property markets in sweden... hm sure makes me wish for death and dying
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fletcher-renn · a month ago
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I really need to stop telling my granddad literally anything
#i love the man but he has the loudest voice known to man and absolutely no filter between his brain and his mouth#he’s probably going to meet my flatmates when he drops me off on sunday and i can only hope they don’t understand his accent because 😐#i’m just mentally replaying all the stuff i’ve told him#namely ‘i hate sb’ ‘why?’ *spends literally half an hour yelling about his various sins like some sort of reverse confessional*#guaranteed he’s going to walk in; meet sb and be like ‘oh you’re the one she hates!’ and i’ll just pass away on the spot#or (nearly as bad) he’ll meet m and be like ‘are you the one she hates??’ and m will be like ‘uhh... what? i hope not’#he also knows m and e are hooking up but in fairness there are people in distant galaxies who know that#i might have to give him a pep talk in the car like ‘please do not reveal that you know literally any information about these people#unless you want me to throw up’#also sidenote but my grandma is apparently coming with us but just to sit in the car. WHY#i don’t think she realises how bad of a neighbourhood i live in like... i wouldn’t want to sit in a car for an undetermined length of time#in my neighbourhood#the other day one of my neighbours was sitting in his car warming it up to get the ice off the windshield and a crackhead started yelling at#him for no apparent reason. and this was a fairly well built lad#do you think i can be the first ever person to convince my leo grandma that she shouldn’t do something. only one way to find out 😐#personal#rant
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pettyprocrastination · a month ago
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who needs serotonin when I have watching shitty films+shows pedro pascal stars in<3
#tj talks#the tags for this are just gonna be me ranting so ignore me i just wanna word vomit somwhwere#idk what happened but today i got hit with 'everybody ages and dies' feelings which i do not enjoy#because now im listening to my dog bark at a squirrel knowing shell prolly be gone within the next few years and i am n o t o k a y#as well as that im still waiting for a response from this college but im okay with them not letting me in because if i get in#im gonna be so scared and not know what to do in that arts program#surroudned by people who are more skilled than me and younger and i just don't know what to do and idk if i should even try#and then my brother messaged me 'sorry you have to deal with all this' meaning our mom's mental stuff#and it just boggles my mind that he was so passive about the fact our mother went though a massive trauma only a few months ago that#has left her with ptsd and some serious issues that she's seeking professional help for#but he just was so 'oh that sucks you have to deal with it' and it confuses me cause like#shes out mom! we gotta be there for her cause she was there for us#but also he's besties with our dad who hasnt bothered to contact me or my other brother in like five years#who also ddi some horrid shit but i don't know if he knows about that#so ill probably not go to the wedding next year#and i just feel like shit today and want to cry so were gonna watch movies and when i get up ill clean my room at night#and then stare at my ceiling until the unforseeable future#idk
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sociallyawkward--fics · a month ago
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I don’t really drink much since addiction runs in my family/I fear my pre-existing mental health issues will create a dependency on it to cope, and I’ve sworn to myself after my first time getting heavily tipsy that I would only be participating in social drinking (which isn’t exactly happening rn because Pandemic lol) with people I trust to help combat those issues, BUT
someday i really wanna get drunk and try to write a fanfic and see what happens lol
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goyasoda · a month ago
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:) my bf went for a "nap" 2 days ago and hasn't talked to me properly ever since. Yesterday I skipped all my classes cause I was sad. Having a bad day in general, probably had a lot to do with the fact that he didn't call me again, which he was fully aware of. And we tried to watch anime and failed bc of weak internet connection, then he went to nap, again. Never called me again, spent his evening on discord then went to bed probably. Today again, no sign, all day on discord, only called me in the afternoon over 24hrs since the last sign of life from him, silence for about 2 hours because I was upset and didn't feel like talking. Then he went to bed, yes, you guessed it, again. And actually he was online for over 1 hour after he left. And I simply couldn't hold back anymore and texted him "I don't even know why you called me" idc if that makes me bad or shitty or whatever. Like not even a text. Seriously, he doesn't even text me anymore lmfao. And I had a good day until he called me and demonstrated to me that he's incapable of apologizing and redeeming his shitty behaviour. Again. Literally yesterday all he had to do was tell me why he didn't call me the previous evening like he promised he would. That's it. I would still have been upset but at least I would've probably snapped out of it. Again, today all he had to do was talk to me. "Hey, I know you're upset that I didn't call you yesterday. Here's my reasons: ____. I apologize for doing this AGGGGGGGAIN" and I would have continued to have a peaceful and chill day. Unfortunately tomorrow I'll have to go into confrontation mode and ask what the fuck is going on. Because I can't keep being in a relationship like this. With someone like this.
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dontneedmyheart · 2 months ago
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