fall into temptation | three
Post Outbreak Joel Miller x Preacher’s Daughter! Reader
series masterlist l previous chapter
summary: Of all the women to catch Joel Miller’s attention—it just had to be one of the goddamned preacher’s daughters.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. JACKSON ERA. SLIGHT PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION OF READER, mentions of her hair which she can put up into braids as well as her style of clothing. despite the nickname Joel gives her, it does not speak to her body type or size. AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s and Joel is 56). several mentions of religion and religious symbols, reader has a father and two sisters, all who come with names, reader gets put into a a very uncomfortable situation, insecurity, anxiety, Seth is an asshole, protective Joel, he threatens to break someone’s jaw which is a warning in and of itself. SMUT. loss of virginity, reader is inexperienced but not totally clueless, oral (both m and f receiving), risky unprotected p in v sex (please wrap it up), lots of praise and pet names (baby, babygirl, honey, you know, the works), Joel gets a teensy bit rough, creampie, hint of aftercare, ends with a cliffhanger, but also not really if you think about it?
MOODBOARD FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES ONLY, NO MENTION OF RACE OR BODY TYPE.
word count: 10k
a/n: it was not my intention to post this on jesus day, but here we are. this took forever and a day considering the second part was posted back in september, but i am so so proud of myself for finally completing a wip i could cry. i did a bulk of the editing while i’ve been sick and in all honesty i probably should have asked someone to beta for me because i think i coughed out like 90% of my brain cells this week, but i think it turned out okay. ish.
Somehow, even over the volume of the live music, you could still hear their hushed, astonished whispers.
“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”
“Is that Joel Miller with Pastor John’s daughter?”
“What’s she doing holding his hand?”
“He’s got to be at least twice her fucking age—”
Throat bobbing anxiously, you glanced up at Joel.
His shoulders were squared back, his head held high.
Solid. Steady.
Joel couldn’t seem to care less about the bewildered stares, the judgment that was being flung his way. Not once did he seem to waver. But you?
Oh, you were already starting to crumble underneath it all, on the verge of falling apart right before everyone’s prying eyes. Shame sat heavily inside of your chest, the weight of the feeling suffocating you, making it harder and harder to breathe as it prevented air from reaching your lungs.
It had nothing to do with Joel. Of course it didn’t. It had all to do with you and with who you were. Their beloved preacher’s sweet, innocent young daughter.
His youngest daughter.
Suddenly, the whispers were no longer whispers.
“Oh God, she’s not going home with him, is she?”
“That’s not right! Someone should say something!”
“Pastor John would never allow something like this.”
“Poor thing’s naive—she doesn’t know any better.”
Hot, stubborn tears of frustration glazed over your eyes and threatened to spill. It was as if you were a child who didn’t know any better, a gullible, clueless little girl with nothing in her brain who needed to be rescued—saved from the bad, bad man before he did bad, bad things to her.
Had it been anyone else, no one would have batted an eye. No one would have noticed, let alone cared. But it was you that Joel Miller was leaving the bar with in the middle of the night and it was you whose hand he had clasped in his own. That is what made it wrong. That is why it was a problem.
Everyone’s concerns had nothing to do with him at all, they had everything to do with you. You, you, you. You were the sole reason why it was a problem, the reason why he was being perceived as the Devil himself, horns out as he dragged the poor little unsuspecting angel down to the fires of Hell.
“Joel?” Overwhelmed, you instinctively reached for his arm with your free hand. Cold and trembling, your little fingers curled tightly around his bicep, digging into the firm, bulging muscle through the thick corduroy fabric of his sleeve. You whispered his name again. “Joel—”
“S’alright, babygirl,” he reassured you quietly over his shoulder. He gave your hand a comforting squeeze. “S’alright. Just keep your eyes on me, sweetheart. I’ve got you. You just keep on lookin’ right at me, okay?”
Nodding, you inhaled deeply and focused on him. Only him. The broadness of his back and his shoulders. Tufts of hair that curled over the collar of his shirt. Only him. He’s what mattered. He’s all that mattered.
“Almost there,” Joel murmured, squeezing your hand again as the door came into view. “Breathe, baby. We’re almost there. I’ve got you. You’re alright. Ain’t gonna let anythin’ bad happen to you. Promise I’ve got you.”
It wasn’t until his fingers wrapped around the old, brass handle that you finally exhaled the breath you had been holding out in utter relief, though it was very, very short lived. Just as Joel pulled the door open, you felt a hand wrap around your arm. Dry, slender fingers dug into the soft flesh above your elbow as an attempt, and a feeble one at that, was made to tear you out of Joel’s grasp.
The music stopped and the bar fell silent. Everything and everyone came to a sudden standstill, freezing mid dance, mid drink, mid bite, mid gossip.
Shocked, you glanced over your shoulder. “Seth?” you squeaked his name. “What—what are you doing?”
Seth didn’t acknowledge you. His focus was on Joel.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Miller?”
Joel’s anger couldn’t be seen, but it could be felt. So palpable you could have wrapped your fingers around it. It radiated off of him and loomed over the entire bar like an incoming storm cloud. Threatening. Dangerous.
“Where are you taking her?” Seth demanded, his other hand curling around your wrist as he tried, but failed, to snatch you from Joel’s side once more. “Let the girl go! You let her go right now, you hear?”
Caught in between the two men, you nervously turned to look at Joel. Nostrils flared, jaw clenched, seething eyes that did the talking for him. His message was loud and oh so abundantly clear.
If Seth didn't take his hands off you, he wasn’t going to have any hands.
Not after Joel Miller was through with him.
Blazing heat flooded your face. As if it couldn’t possibly get any worse, everyone had now gathered around you to watch the tense encounter, eyes wide, brows raised and jaws practically on the weathered, hardwood floor.
Tommy Miller stood among the crowd, subtly shaking his head, his lips pressed together in a tight, thin line of disapproval as he glowered at his older brother. Would he be looking at Joel like that had it been Esther in your place? If she was the one he was taking home? Would any of this be happening if it was her instead of you?
“Seth.” Uttering his name, you shifted your attention back to him. You sounded calm and collected, despite feeling anything but. Joel’s hand in yours was the only thing keeping you steady and grounded. His touch was the only reason you hadn’t yet spiraled into a state of panic. Clearing your throat lightly, you spoke again and tried your hardest not to waver. “Please let go of me.”
Still fixed on Joel, he spat, “I’ll be damned if I let him take you anywhere.”
“He’s not taking me anywhere, Seth.” Without thinking, the words came tumbling out of your mouth—loud and clear for everyone in that room to hear. “He isn’t forcing me to go with him. I’m making the choice to leave with him. Out of my own volition. Please let go of me.”
Finally, Seth looked at you. His old, worn features were twisted in disbelief. “What?”
You swallowed dryly. Part of you wanted you to shrink away, curl into yourself. Instead, you straightened your posture, forced yourself to stand a little bit taller. Willed yourself to have a backbone for once in your life.
“You heard me,” you said, lifting your chin in defiance. Several onlookers gasped in surprise at your rebellion. Where had this insolence come from? “I’m choosing to leave with Joel. Now, please let go of my arm.”
Behind you, Joel stood silent and still.
Watching. Observing. Waiting.
He wanted nothing more than to intervene. Rip you out of Seth’s hands and shatter each and every last bone in all ten of his fingers for putting them on you. Had Joel not realized that this was probably the first time in your whole, entire life you’d mustered up the courage to use your voice, he would have easily given into the urge. He wanted to protect you. He needed so badly to protect you. Yet, he knew you weren’t helpless or incapable of standing on your own two feet. He knew you deserved the chance to stand up and speak for yourself after a lifetime of being silenced, a lifetime of being forced to stay in your place, seen but never heard.
“Seth, let go of my arm,” you repeated. It was no longer a polite request. It was a demand.
He scoffed. “Do you honestly think I’m going to let you leave with somebody like him? You think I’m just going to stand back and let him take advantage of you?”
Oh, you hadn’t liked that insinuation, not one bit.
It caused something inside of you to finally give way.
Snap.
The blood in your veins boiled, ran hot enough to make you feel like you were about to burn from the inside out. “Joel isn’t taking advantage of me! It isn’t like that,” you seethed, furiously. The quiet, well mannered, obedient good girl everyone in Jackson knew was gone. And she could stay gone. In your periphery, you could see Leah elbowing her way through the sea of people to the front of the crowd with an incredulous look plastered on her face. She stood there beside Tommy, who appeared to be just as incredibly bewildered by your outburst. “Don’t treat me like I’m some child who doesn’t know any better! I’m an adult and I’m old enough to make my own choices, okay?”
For a moment, you had forgotten it was Seth standing there in front of you.
“I’m capable of making my own decisions! I don’t need you to dictate my life. I don’t need you to tell me what is and isn’t good for me—controlling what I should and shouldn’t believe in.” Your voice trembled as emotions you’d been suppressing for years bubbled their way up to the surface. Amidst the chaos, you could feel Joel squeeze your hand again, as if silently encouraging you not to lose your nerve. He was your anchor, the only person who could keep your world from capsizing. You knew he wouldn’t let you drown. Not even God, who you had always been forced to believe was your pillar of strength, had ever made you feel this protected. Safe. “I don’t need you to tell me how to live and much less when it’s the end of the world.”
It wasn’t Seth you were addressing.
It was your father.
Your father, who controlled every last thing, from what you would eat to the way that you dressed and how you wore your hair.
Your father, who refused to let you have a mind of your own, who simply could not bear the mere thought of you thinking for yourself.
Your father, whose love felt like shackles, heavy, rusted metal restraints that had been digging into the flesh of your wrists for far, far too long.
“You need to let me go now,” you said, swallowing back the lump in your throat. Once more, you caught Leah from the corner of your eye, your heart lurching in your chest when you noticed her desperately trying to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand. She was the only person in the room who understood how you felt. Her rebelliousness only ever masked the pain of knowing her father’s love came with terms and conditions—and the fear of knowing what would happen if those terms and conditions weren’t met. For several weeks, you’d gotten a taste of what she went through everyday, how her fear of putting her foot down led her to run around in secret and live a double life. “Just let me go.”
Seth firmly shook his head. “No! I’m not letting you go anywhere with him. I don’t know what the hell he did to you, but he’s clearly got you all fucking brainwashed.”
That was fucking enough. Joel stepped in, lowering his voice as he said, “Y’know, I’ve just ‘bout lost count of how many fuckin’ times she’s asked you to let her go now and it’s really startin’ to piss me off.” Raising an eyebrow, he laid his offer out on the table. “Here’s the deal. You let go of her right now and I won’t shatter your fuckin’ jaw into pieces. That seem fair enough to you?”
“No.” Seth gripped your arm even harder, prompting you to let out a little yelp as his nails dug painfully into your skin. Though it’d been accidental and he hadn’t meant to hurt you, it didn’t matter. He’d just set off the ticking time bomb that was Joel Miller.
Furious, Joel snatched a fistful of his shirt with his free hand—the other still held yours. Gentle, despite being mere moments away from beating someone to within an inch of their life.
“Joel! Stop!” Tommy’s voice broke through the tension as he approached. His footsteps were slow—careful and cautious, as if he was afraid to make any kind of sudden movement. “Joel. Hey. C’mon now, let’s not do this, alright? Ain’t gotta handle things this way. We can talk it through. No need for anyone to wind up bleedin’ in the fuckin’ infirmary tonight, so just take a breath and let him go.”
Blatantly ignoring Tommy’s attempt to keep the peace, Joel tugged Seth forward, yanking him closer. “Listen to me and listen to me good ‘cause I ain’t gonna fuckin’ say it again. You’d best take your fuckin’ hands off her right now unless you wanna spend the rest of the night sweepin’ up your teeth off the floor of your own fuckin’ bar,” he threatened, his tone enough to send a chill up anyone’s spine, even your own.
“You wouldn’t dare, Miller.” Somehow, Seth managed to keep a straight face, but you could see it so clearly in his eyes and in the tremble of his lower lip—oh, he was terrified of Joel and rightly so. “Not in front of all these people. Not in front of your brother. That wouldn’t be a smart move considering you’re already on thin fucking ice for what you did to that boy’s face, now would it?”
Joel tugged him closer. “Test me,” he hissed through gritted teeth. “Go on. Fuckin’ test me.”
His challenge was immediately met with a pathetic look of defeat. Seth dropped your arm and he was released.
“S’what I fuckin’ thought.” Without another word to the man, Joel whirled around and roughly pulled the door open, leading the way outside. As you both descended the building’s old, creaking wooden steps, you began to shiver and he suddenly remembered he’d left his jacket behind inside the bar. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “C’mere, my little dove,” he murmured as he tucked you against his side for warmth. “I’ve got you.”
The first thing he did was light the fireplace.
“Should start warmin’ you up, sweet girl,” he’d said to you over his shoulder. He tossed a log into the blaze as you sat perched on his couch rubbing your bare arms with your hands. “M’gonna go upstairs and find you a blanket, alright? You stay put.”
“Okay,” you’d mumbled, knowing there was no point in telling him not to fuss over you.
Even with the soft, fleece throw blanket he had draped around your shoulders and the warmth of the flames in front of you, you continued trembling. Subtle, but he’d noticed it, felt it when he had sat down beside you and pulled you close against his side. “Oh baby, you’re still shakin’?” That was when he realized you weren’t cold. Frowning, Joel rose to his feet and disappeared down the hallway. He came back to the living room a minute later with a glass of water in his hand. With a small, labored grunt, he dropped to one knee in front of you and held it out. “Here.”
“No, thank you.” You shook your head. “I’m not thirsty.”
“Maybe not, but I’m kinda worried you could be in a bit of shock, right now,” he stated, the creases in between his brows deepening as he observed you for any other physical signs of distress. Carefully, Joel lifted the glass to your lips, gently coaxing you to take a drink. “C’mon, darlin’. Think you can be a real good girl for me and at least take a couple sips? Hm?”
Sighing softly, you nodded and did as he asked of you, taking a small sip of water. It soothed your dry mouth and throat and you took another one. Maybe you were thirsty after all.
“Little more, now. Little more. That’s it. That’s my good girl.” Once he was satisfied with how much you’d had to drink, Joel set the half empty glass down on the oak coffee table behind him. He turned back to you, placing his large hands on either side of your thighs below the hem of your dress. He started tracing soft, soothing circles into your skin with his thumbs. “M’real proud of you for standin’ up for yourself back there, sweetheart. Took a whole lot of fuckin’ courage to do that, y’know.”
You glanced down at your hands in your lap. “Mhm.”
“Baby. Hey. Look at me.” One of his hands abandoned your leg and he reached up, delicately taking your chin between his thumb and index finger. He tilted your face upwards, his worried gaze meeting your own. “Talk to me. M’right here.”
“That—that was a lot,” you admitted meekly, shoulders sagging as the adrenaline started wearing off and your body slowly came down from the peak hormone rush. “It was a lot.”
Sighing, Joel’s hand fell away from your face. “Yeah, I know it was a lot, babygirl. I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“No.” You were quick to cut him off. “Don’t be sorry.”
His chest heaved with another sigh, this one deeper, heavier, bearing the weight of his guilt. “Well I am,” he said. He planted his hands on either side of you on the couch and lightly shook his head. “Didn’t even fuckin’ think twice when I pulled you outta that fuckin’ supply closet and took your hand in front of all those people. I was so fuckin’ hellbent on showin’ everybody you were mine that I didn’t even stop and think ‘bout what all it would mean for you. It was selfish of me. Real fuckin’ selfish. And I’m sorry, little dove.”
“Do you regret it?” you asked, quietly.
Joel chuckled in spite of himself. “M’pretty sure I’m the one who should be askin’ you that question, darlin’,” he remarked. “Tell me. Do you regret it? Do you regret me pullin’ you outta that closet?” He momentarily paused. There was a stutter in his heartbeat when you dropped your gaze away from his, silence your only reply. “Do you regret me takin’ your hand in front of everyone?”
Of course not.
You wanted to be his and you wanted everyone to know it. There was no regret, none.
Still.
The consequences that you would undoubtedly have to face in the morning were overwhelming. Daunting.
Surely, by then, your father would know about you and Joel. When he came downstairs right after sunrise and he discovered you weren’t in the kitchen helping Lydia prepare breakfast, he would question where you were and make some kind of remark about how you should not be sleeping in this late. He would tell her just how irresponsible it was for you to ignore your duties and obligations to him and the family. Sloth was one of the seven deadly sins, after all. He would make her trek upstairs and wake you, and when she did, your sister would find your bed empty.
Meanwhile, there would be a knock at the front door.
No stranger to having members of the congregation show up on his doorstep when they were in need, be it of prayer or comfort, your father would answer it only to find someone, not in need of solace, but who felt that it was their responsibility and moral obligation to inform him that they had seen his youngest daughter leaving The Tipsy Bison with Joel Miller in the middle of the night, hand in hand.
He wouldn’t believe them.
“Now, that is simply not true,” he would say, offended that anybody would have the nerve to show up at his door and accuse you of something so vile. “That’s not possible. I know my daughter and she would never do such a thing. It must have been someone else that you saw with him. Someone who looked like her, perhaps.”
Then, Lydia would descend the staircase and tell him you weren’t in your bedroom. “She must have gone up to the main street as soon as she woke up,” she would suggest with a shrug, not yet privy to the events that had taken place the night before at the party you and Leah had snuck off to. She never had to worry about you, the good one. “I did notice we were running pretty low on eggs. Sugar, too. She probably wanted to be the first in line at the pantry to—Papa? What’s the matter?”
The color would drain from your father’s face when the realization slowly sank in. No, you weren’t out on the main street picking up eggs for breakfast and sugar for his tea. You were lying up in Joel Miller’s bed—defiled, impure, and with the curse of Eve on your flesh. Even after dedicating his entire life to making sure you did not stray from the path of righteousness, he had failed. You had fallen into temptation.
There was a chance he would have mercy on you. All you had to do was beg and plead for his forgiveness—and more importantly, for the forgiveness of God. “Vow to atone for your sins,” your father would say, his gaze fixed on the Holy Bible in his lap. He probably wouldn’t be able to look at you, not after what you had done. “Repent. And swear to me, child, that you will never so much as glance in that man’s direction ever again.”
No. That’s not what you wanted.
You wanted Joel and the freedom to be with him.
But that freedom came with a high, high price.
You were willing to pay it, but you’d be lying if you said you were prepared to navigate the consequences. Then again, was there really any way for someone to prepare themselves to be shunned by their own father?
“I can take you home,” Joel offered quietly, the sound of his voice taking you out of the future and bringing you back into the present.
“What?”
“I can take you home,” he repeated himself. “I can take you home right now if that’s what you want, sweet girl. Won’t give you any kinda grief ‘bout it.”
Confused, all you could do was stare at him.
“Listen to me, baby. You mean a lot to me. More than I can even begin to explain,” Joel reassured you before any kind of doubt could find its way into your mind. “I want you to stay with me. There’s nothin’ on what’s left of this fuckin’ earth I want more than for you to stay here with me. But what you want matters to me a hell of a lot more than what I want.” He reached up, lightly stroking your cheek with his thumb. “If you decide you wanna go home and go back to your family—back to your old man—then that’s where I’ll take you. Okay?”
Your father would give you an ultimatum. But Joel? He was giving you a choice. And he’d respect that choice.
“I wanna free you from your cage, my little dove. But I think we both know you’ve gotta make the choice to fly outta there on your own.” He lightly swept his thumb over your quivering bottom lip, his eyes meeting yours as he whispered, “Door’s wide open for you. What you do next is all up to you.”
“I’m afraid, Joel,” you confessed. A tear slipped from the corner of your eye and rolled its way down the side of your face. He was quick to wipe it away, along with the others that followed. “I do want out of my cage. I really, really do. But I’m terrified. All I have ever known is my family and my faith. I have never been apart from my father and my sisters.”
His expression softened. “I know you’re scared. Can’t promise you things will be easy, but there is one thing I can promise you.”
“What’s that?” you questioned, then waited with baited breath.
He gingerly cupped your cheek in his large palm. “I’ve got you,” he swore to you, just like he had done so back at the bar. “If you decide to stay, I promise I’ll take real, real good care of you, alright? For the rest of my life, I’ll take care of you. You won’t ever have to worry ‘bout a thing with me by your side. Swear it on my life.”
Warmth blossomed in your heartspace and finally, you stopped trembling. Lifting a hand, you curled your fingers around his wrist as your gaze fell to his mouth. “Joel?”
“What is it, darlin’ girl?”
“Kiss me. Please.”
With a gentle nod, Joel’s other hand found your hip, the warmth of it seeping through the cotton fabric of your dress. Leaning in, he brushed his lips against yours. It was a chaste thing, soft and innocent until you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer to you. “Babygirl,” he mumbled against your lips. He deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue through your parted lips and into your mouth. He tasted like bold bourbon and citrus beer. There was a faint hint of tobacco too—you recalled him admitting to you one night in the church house that while he wasn’t all that much of a smoker, at least not like he used to be when living in the zones, he would occasionally partake in the habit if he happened to come across a pack of cigarettes while out on patrol, pairing the nicotine with a drink. He tasted delicious. He tasted delicious because he tasted like yours.
You sank back into the worn, supple brown leather of his couch, tugging him forward so he sank in with you. Over you. Releasing your near death grip on his collar, you managed to wedge your hands in between your bodies and began to claw furiously at the buttons of his shirt, your fingers shaking out of pure desperation to feel him. It wasn’t until you were halfway down that he finally noticed what you were doing and leaned back, catching both of your wrists.
“Baby, wait,” he panted, shaking his head. “Don’t think now’s a good time for that—”
“Joel, please,” you pleaded, the intense ache between your thighs almost too much for you to bear. “Please. I want it. I want you.”
“S’been a rough night for you.” Joel’s voice was hoarse—strained, like he was aching just as much, if not more. “You’re real emotional right now. Vulnerable. Last thing I want is to take advantage of you at a time like this.”
You frowned. Had Seth’s words gotten into his head?
“You’re not taking advantage of me.”
“Darlin’ I just don’t think we should—”
“Joel, please,” you begged him again. “I was so good for you, was I not? Wasn’t I patient, just like you asked me to be?”
His lips thinned into a tight line. He wouldn’t be able to resist much longer. You, his beautiful little temptress of Eden.
“I waited for so long,” you reminded him. “I’ve been so, so good for you. Please, just make me yours already. I don’t want to think about anything else right now. I just want to be with you. Please, Joel. I need you so badly it hurts.”
Christ.
No man could stand it. No man could possibly have the strength to deny you.
With a look of utter defeat, he folded. Before he could say another word or make another move, your greedy mouth was on his, and you kissed him with fervor, with urgency, as you finished the task of unbuttoning his shirt. Pushing it off of his shoulders, the corduroy fabric fell into a crumpled heap behind him, nearly knocking the glass of water off the coffee table. You broke away from him and shamelessly marveled at his mouth watering form—you admired the way miles of smooth, tanned skin stretched over his wide shoulders, broad chest and soft, soft belly. Arousal pooled between your legs and you reached out and raked your fingers down his chest, and over his stomach, going lower and lower, following the trail of coarse, dark hair that led you to his brown leather belt. You clumsily started fumbling with the brass buckle until he caught your hands once more.
“Slow down, my little dove,” he murmured. “No need to rush this. We’ve got all night.” He stood up and held his hand out to you. Time blurred a bit—maybe it was your nervousness mingled with the eager anticipation of what was to come, but there seemed to be a small gap in your memory, a blank space that spanned from the moment you rose off the couch until the moment you found yourself standing in his bedroom where you were about to answer to the call of the flesh.
Dropping your hand, Joel switched on the lamp on his bedside table and kicked off his boots before taking you into his arms. “C’mere, honey.” He nuzzled your cheek with the tip of his nose as he spoke, the scruff of his beard tickling your cheek. “Couple’a rules, sweet girl. I do somethin’ that you don’t like, you tell me. You want me to stop, you tell me to sto—”
Without waiting for him to finish his sentence, you slowly lowered yourself down onto the floor and knelt at his feet with purpose, as if kneeling before an altar, a sacred, holy space. Though you felt anxious, you were eager to worship. “I haven’t forgotten about what I said earlier tonight,” you cooed, noticing the mild look of surprise on his face. “I said I’d make it up to you and I intend on keeping my word.”
All the blood in his body rushed south to his cock and it strained painfully against the crotch of his jeans. “Baby, I—” Again, he was cut off, only this time by the sound of his own groan when your hand brushed up the front of his thigh and over his growing bulge. He glanced down, his heart thrumming painfully hard against his sternum as he watched you reach for his belt buckle.
With all your might, you willed your hands so as not to tremble. It was self-explanatory, what you were about to do, but your total lack of experience sowed seeds of doubt into your mind—you wanted to make him feel good, just like he had made you feel good outside of the church house during services. Just how you knew he would make you feel tonight.
Hand still over his buckle, you pressed the tenderest of kisses to his bulge through his jeans. Then, turning your head, you rested your cheek on one of his thick, blue denim clad thighs and peered up at him through your eyelashes with a small, nervous smile as you confessed what he already knew. “I’ve never done this before.”
Oh, how sweet and endearing you were. Joel reached down and smoothed your hair back and away from your face, tucking it behind your ear. “S’alright, honey,” he crooned, grazing the silkiness of your cheek with his index finger. “I’ll walk you through it. Teach you how to be a real good girl and suck my cock just the way I like it. That what you want, my little dove?”
His filth made your cunt clench hard around nothing.
Slowly lifting your head off of his thigh, you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and managed a clear, consenting nod as your hands fumbled with his buckle, the clinking sound of metal ringing loudly in your ears. You undid the button on his jeans and pulled down his zipper, your throat drying when you saw the outline of him, his size intimidating even behind the cotton fabric of his faded, black boxer briefs.
With a harsh swallow, you glanced up at him, silently asking him for his permission to continue.
Such a polite little thing, Joel thought to himself. “Go on, sweetheart,” he encouraged.
You tugged his jeans down to the middle of his thighs and hooked your index fingers underneath the elastic waistband of his boxer briefs, pulling them down and freeing his cock. There was a deep, swooping sensation in your belly as you watched it slap up against the lower part of his abdomen. After many nights of sitting in his lap, feeling him through his clothes, grinding your cunt down onto him, you thought you’d at the very least had an idea of what you would be in for, but oh, how wrong you had been. He was so much bigger than you could have imagined, and your stomach swooped again when you realized he was not going to fit. Anywhere.
Licking away the dryness of your lips, you take him in one of your hands, feeling the heaviness of his length in your palm. He was so long and so, so thick.
“Oh fuck,” Joel hissed the curse through gritted teeth, his hips jerking forward involuntarily as your touch sent a charged jolt of electricity shooting up the length of his spine. He looked down at you, his pupils blown wide with arousal. Christ. You hadn’t even done anything to him yet, but seeing you sitting so prettily at his feet was almost enough to make him come on the spot.
Delicately wrapping your hand around him, you found yourself almost in awe at the way your fingertips barely, just barely, touched. The sheer size of his cock dwarfed your hand, and made it seem so much smaller than it really was.
“You’re so big,” you murmured, echoing your thoughts. You licked at your lips again, suddenly feeling ravenous, an appetite that had seemingly come out of nowhere making you salivate. The tip of him was flushed red, slit already glistening—how badly you wanted, needed a taste. Never, ever, did you think you would be down on your knees for anything but prayer, but there you were, starved and desperate to bite into the forbidden fruit.
“What’re you waitin’ for, darlin’ girl?” he croaked.
“Permission,” you replied, sweetly.
“Go right ahead, baby. S’all yours—I’m all yours.”
Yours.
Yours, yours, yours.
Finding your first push of courage, you leaned forward and so carefully swept your tongue along the tip of his length, collecting the slight saltiness leaking from the slit and getting your first delectable taste. With your hand still wrapped firmly around his base, you looked up, your eyes locked on Joel’s face as you flicked your tongue up against the rigid underside of his cock.
“Fuckin’ Christ,” Joel groaned, all of the muscles in his stomach already pulling taut when he felt you dragging your tongue in a slow, purposeful lick along the length of him. “Babygirl.”
“Is that good?” you asked him, sounding hopeful. “Am I doing good?”
“Doin’ so, so fuckin’ good for me, sweetheart. Look so fuckin’ pretty down on your knees for me.”
Pleased, you wrapped your mouth around the head of his length, pressing forward and taking him in as far as you possibly could—which, in all fairness, wasn’t very far. At least not as far as you would have liked. Another groan tore itself from the depths of his chest as your plush, plump lips sealed around him, your tongue warm and wet on the underside of his cock. Moving both of your hands to rest on the sides of his thighs, you began to move your head back and forth, following what felt most natural to you. The nerves you initially felt slowly but surely dissipated, vanishing one by one with every curse, every tremble, every sharp breath.
Joel resisted the urge to buck his hips forward, fought the desire to feel himself at the back of your throat. He needed to be gentle, so careful with such an innocent, pliant thing who had much, much to learn. “Sweet little fuckin’ mouth feels so good around my cock, baby, just like I fuckin’ knew it would. Y’think it can take more of me, little dove? Hm?”
You hummed, the vibration intensifying his pleasure.
“Yeah? Y’trust me?”
Your reply came in the form of a muffled, “Mhm.”
Joel reached down and cradled the back of your head in the palm of his hand. He carefully guided you further onto his throbbing length, slowly feeding you one inch at a time. Your fingers dug into the denim of his jeans. He was much more than a mouthful for you, and you could only take about half of him before he hit the back of your throat, prompting you to gag around him. Drool dribbled out from the corners of your mouth and down the sides your chin, dripping onto your lap.
“Oh fuck, sweetheart. Yeah, that’s it. Little more now, honey,” Joel encouraged. He bucked his hips forward, his head slipping further down your throat. Just when you felt like you were about to choke, he pulled out and you tried your hardest not to cough and sputter as you took in a much needed, precious breath of air. He gave you a few seconds or so to finish catching your breath as he shoved his jeans and boxer briefs further down his legs. He stepped out of the articles of clothing and kicked them somewhere off to the aside, standing before you completely bare. “Open up.”
Your absolute devotion to him bred sweet submission, so as worried as you were that you wouldn’t be able to handle it, you nodded obediently and very willingly did as you were told.
He guided himself right back into your waiting mouth, pressing deeply. You tried to relax your jaw, reminding yourself to breathe in and out through your nose. Tears streamed down the sides of your face as you did your best to forestall another gag. “Little bit more,” he said, thrusting his hips in a slow, steady controlled rhythm. He advanced even further into your mouth—trusting he wouldn’t suffocate you, nor push you too far past your limits, you opened up wider. He moaned, “Yeah, baby. That’s my good girl. That’s my good fuckin’ girl.”
With a bit of newfound confidence, you hollowed your cheeks and sucked him. You swiped your tongue along the thick, prominent vein on the underside of his cock, earning yourself more of his sweet, sweet praise.
“Fuck, yeah, suck me off, sweetheart. This pretty little mouth was fuckin’ made for sin,” he breathed, guiding your head back and forth with a firm, but gentle hand.
You moaned, the noise muffled around his length. Slick soaked through your panties and coated the insides of your thighs. With another moan, you tightly squeezed your legs together, inwardly reminding yourself that patience was a virtue.
Noticing the way you had shifted, Joel moved his hand from the back of your head, lightly curling his fingers around your jaw. He pulled you off of his cock, a loud, lewd popping sound bouncing off the sage green walls of his bedroom. “C’mere, baby.” He grabbed your arms, effortlessly hoisting you up to your feet.
“What’s wrong?” you questioned him worriedly. “Did I do something wrong?”
Chuckling softly, he brushed a finger along the strap of your dress. You could do no wrong, his perfect, perfect girl. “Of course not, sweet girl. You did so fuckin’ good for me,” Joel reassured you, lightly tracing along your collarbone with his finger and making your flesh erupt in goosebumps. He leaned forward and feathered a kiss onto your lips, murmuring against them, “Are you wet, little dove?”
Before you could even process the query and generate some kind of coherent response, he dove his opposite hand between your thighs, cupping your warm heat in his palm. At this, your weak knees buckled, prompting you to reach out and grab onto his arms to hold steady and keep yourself from falling into a helpless heap on the floor.
“Oh, honey. You’re soaked. That what sucking my cock does to you?” he cooed. He peppered another kiss, this one onto the corner of your mouth. His voice lowered another octave. “Poor little thing. She needs me, don’t she? Needs me to take care of her?”
You whimpered. “Yes.”
“Manners, babygirl,” he reminded you, skimming your cheek with his nose. “Yes, what?”
“Yes, please.”
Humming in approval, Joel withdrew his hand from in between your legs and guided you backwards towards his bed. “Sit,” he commanded gently, bidding you to let go of him. “Arms up.”
Reaching for the hem of your dress, he took great care in pulling it over your head, then discarded the vibrant yellow material over his shoulder, leaving you in nothing but your cowboy boots and thin, cotton white panties. Without a word, he knelt before you and pulled off one boot, and then the other, setting them both aside. He hooked two fingers underneath the elastic waistband of your underwear, coaxing you to lift your bottom off of the bed, just long enough for him to pull them down and slide them down your legs. He was so tender in the manner in which he undressed you.
“Fuckin’ beautiful, beautiful girl,” Joel praised. His dark gaze dragged down the length of your body as you sat before him wearing nothing but the delicate, gold chain around your neck. The holy cross nestled between your supple breasts gleamed in the light of the lamp on the nightstand. He would leave it on until your decision was made, set in stone. “My pretty little dove.”
“Joel.” You whimpered his name, hands curling around fistfuls of his dark blue sheets. You were drenched now, in dire need of some relief. If he didn’t touch you where you needed him most, you would surely lose your mind.
Desperate, you leaned back slightly onto his bed and parted your knees, your folds glistening as you showed him just how badly you needed him.
Joel groaned, almost visibly salivating at the sight. The blazing heat in his eyes sent ripples of desire coursing through your body, straight to your throbbing core.
You opened wider. “Please.”
“Christ, babygirl. Already soakin’ the sheets.” Sliding a finger up along the seam of your pussy, he grazed your clit, the touch light, but somehow still enough to make your hips arch off the mattress as white-hot pinpricks of pleasure danced their way up your spine. He lowered his head and leaned in, your sweet scent drawing him in like a moth to a flame. Just when you were about to start pleading him for more, he dipped his face into the apex of your thighs, his mouth finally, finally, meeting your wet heat.
“Oh!” you gasped, your head falling back. “Fuck!”
Against you, his lips curled upwards into a wicked grin. He’d never heard you curse before, not until now.
Joel took his time devouring you, savoring the essence of your cunt with each broad stroke of his tongue. Sealing his lips around your clit, he flicked the swollen, sensitive bundle of nerves over and over again, eliciting from you some of the sweetest noises that he had ever heard in his entire life. In preparation for what you both knew was to come, he pushed one finger inside of you, the invasion causing you to fist his sheets even harder. He then slipped in a second finger, groaning in sheer, carnal bliss at how your walls squeezed them, at the mere thought of them squeezing his cock in the same manner. How was it that you felt so much tighter this time around?
“Oh God.”
You shouldn’t be saying His name. Not like this.
Not when something this sinful was being done to you.
Hungrily, Joel lapped at you, curling both of his fingers in an upwards motion to hit the perfect spot. He knew you were close, felt it in the way that you squirmed and writhed. Draping his arm across your hips, he pinned them down onto the bed, holding you still as he chased your high as if it were his own.
“Joel,” you chanted his name over and over again in a fevered prayer. Releasing the sheets, your hands found his hair, tangling themselves in his curls. Your head fell back, and you cursed at the ceiling of his bedroom. “Fuck, fuck, fuck Joel—”
Pushing onto his mouth, you came, moaning his name so loudly you were certain the whole neighborhood was getting an earful.
Joel pulled back, his beard and mustache slicked with your spend. “S’right, honey,” he crooned, his digits still buried to the knuckle as he helped you to ride out your wave of ecstasy. Eventually, when he pulled them out, you tried closing your shaking legs. He tsked and shook his head, wrenching them open further. “No, no, baby. Keep those pretty thighs open for me. Wanna see her.” He admired his work, his cock twitching at the sight of your pussy, swollen and shining, and ready to take him.
Like earlier, there was another brief skip in time.
Mind still in a haze, you hadn’t even realized that he’d risen to his feet and guided you further up onto his bed, not until you were lying on your back with your head on his pillow and he was hovering over you, his hard length brushing against one of your messy, inner thighs when he settled himself between your legs.
Your heart began to pound in a mingle of both fear and excitement.
Joel’s eyes met yours. His pupils were blown so wide, there was not one, single trace of brown anywhere to be seen. “Y’absolutely sure about this, little dove?”
Your response came without hesitation. “Yes. I’m sure.”
He pressed a kiss to the underside of your jaw. Your submission was a gift, and he would cherish every last second of your surrender to him, savor it for as long as he possibly could. His lips, soft and warm, skimmed along the column of your throat, leaving a trail of fresh goosebumps in their wake.
If, by some chance, you decided that you wanted to go back to your father and to your faith, Joel didn’t know how he would find it in himself to let you go, not after this. Of course, he would have to let go, though.
The last thing he wanted was to help free you from one cage just to stick you right back into another. While he was no stranger to loss, he had to admit to himself that to lose you would be a knife to whatever was left of his heart.
Shoving the thought out of his mind, he reached down and gripped the base of his cock, pumping it in his fist before running the leaking head along your puffy lips, coating himself in your wetness with the hope it would ease some of the pain you were bound to feel. “Ready, babygirl?” he asked you, lightly teasing your entrance. “Might hurt a bit. M’gonna go slow. Just need you to relax for me, alright?”
“Okay.”
“I’ve got you,” he promised.
You nodded, saying softly, “I know.”
Though he knew he had all of your trust, Joel could still sense your anxiousness. He reached out for your hand, lacing your fingers together with his own as he gingerly pressed forward and eased himself into you, taking the very innocence you had been taught your entire life to preserve, one slow, careful inch at a time.
“Oh—Joel!” You cried loudly at the initial stretch, your pretty face scrunching in discomfort. Tightly slamming your eyes shut, sparks flew behind your eyelids when he finally bottomed out. The burning sting in between your thighs was too overwhelming, almost impossible to cope with. He felt so enormous within you, you could have sworn he was in your belly. Another broken cry fell from your lips and he swallowed it with a comforting kiss.
“Jesus Christ,” he hissed against your lips, a thin sheen of sweat coating his brow, neck, and chest. He wasn’t sure where he found the strength, but he suppressed his urge to thrust. Instead, he dropped his face into the hollow of your neck and waited, giving you the chance to adjust to him. He mumbled against your skin. “Doin’ so good for me, sweet girl. Y’know that? You’re doin’ so fuckin’ good for me.”
Even in discomfort, you preened at his praise.
He squeezed your hand, and after a minute, he gave an experimental thrust of his hips—and then another and another before he ceased his movement once again. He was so big and you were so deliciously full of him.
Eventually, the pain subsided, and you found yourself asking, no, begging for more. “Move.” Your other hand found itself cupping the side of his face, coaxing him to lift his head and allowing your gazes to meet. Your soft, plush thighs parted further to help accommodate the breadth of his hips. “Please, Joel. I need you to move—I need you to fuck me.”
Surely, you would be the death of him.
He drew his hips back with cautious, tender care, then advanced in the same manner to fill your precious cunt all over again. He did it over and over, your pleasured moans encouraging him to begin picking up the pace. He drove his cock in and out of your weeping pussy, the slapping of flesh against flesh, the lewd, wet squelch of you around him inspiring him to fuck you harder, faster. And the noises you were making?
There was something oh so beautiful about your cries, sweet raptures of submission as you laid there beneath him, all too graciously taking everything he had to give you like the good, good, good girl you were for him.
“Fuckin’ hell, sweetheart,” Joel rasped. “Look at you—look at the way you take my fuckin’ cock, honey.”
And you did.
Glancing down, your gaze fell between your bodies and you watched in awe, openly marveled at the way Joel slid in and out of your cunt, how he knocked hard so deeply inside of you, driving himself as far as he could possibly go.
“Fuck Joel, I’m gonna—” You tried warning him as the pressure in your belly neared its peak, but you tumbled over the edge before you even had the chance to finish your sentence. Arching up off off the bed, you pressed your chest against his, your fingers squeezing his own so hard you feared you might break them.
“That’s it babygirl, let go,” he grunted, speeding up his thrusts. “Squeeze my fuckin’ cock—just like that. Good girl. My perfect, perfect girl.”
You didn’t quite get the chance to let the praise sink in.
Joel pulled himself out of you, and with ease, he flipped you over onto your belly. His hands gripped your hips and pulled them up off the mattress, his fingers moving to firmly knead the fleshiest part of your ass. He leaned over you, the head of his cock nudging at your hole. “Y’think you can handle a little bit more, sweetheart?” he whispered the question into a tumble of messy hair, the delicate scent of the lavender shampoo you used to wash it filling his senses. “Answer me, little dove.”
“Yes,” you replied breathlessly with a nod. “I can.”
With a satisfied hum, Joel sank into you, this second stretch not quite as overwhelming at the first, but still intense. “Relax,” he murmured, hunching further over your quivering back. He pressed a kiss onto the top of your head and then leaned down to brace his hands on either side of you. “Need you to be sweet for me just a bit longer, okay, baby?”
“God,” you whimpered when the heaviness of his balls came to rest on your sensitive clit.
It was the second time you’d uttered His name.
Joel almost grinned at the irony. He found his rhythm, groaning in gut-deep satisfaction with each snap of his hips—each smooth stroke in and each smooth stroke out.
“Oh fuck, sweet girl.” Heaven was indeed a real place, and Joel Miller was buried in it to the hilt, right at this very moment.
He was getting closer and closer.
Maybe it was your eagerness to help him reach his own release mingled with the pride you knew you would feel once you did that gave you a second wind, a fresh, new burst of energy. You planted your hands firmly on his pillow. Rolling your bottom lip between your teeth, you curved your spine and pushed back onto Joel with purpose, meeting his thrusts halfway as you rode his aching length to the satiation that waited for him at the end.
“There’s my girl,” he rasped. “Oh fuckin’ Christ—”
No way he could live his life without you now.
He needed you.
He needed you so much more than you needed him.
Joel slipped an arm around your shoulders, across your chest.
“Oh!” you gasped as he then yanked you back, pulling you flush against him. The rough crash of your back against his chest, combined with the angle in which he was fucking you knocked the wind out of your lungs.
His lips were at the shell of your ear. “Stay,” he panted, his breath hot against your cheekbone. He wrapped his other hand lightly around your throat. Relentless, were his hips now—his movements had become frantic. Desperate. “Stay with me, baby.”
Even as you fought to catch your breath in the position he had you in, you picked up on the fact that he wasn’t asking you of it, nor was he demanding you of it.
He was begging you.
Him, the most feared man in this town. Begging you?
“Joel,” you choked.
“Please, my little dove,” he pleaded, turning your head towards him. His mouth was then on the corner of your own, his beard roughly scratching the soft and delicate flesh of your cheek. “I need you, babygirl. Stay with me. Please, just fuckin’ stay with me.”
Your hands curled around his wrists. “Yes, I’ll stay,” you moaned. “I’m yours, Joel. I’m all yours. I—I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I’ll stay with you.”
A low, guttural sound rumbled through his chest. Joel firmly took hold of your cross, and without so much as a warning, he ripped the chain from around your neck and tossed it somewhere over his shoulder. He heard it land on the hardwood floor with the tiniest, faint clink the moment he spilled into you, ropes of warm release coating your fluttering walls. Curses and groans spilled from his lips and into your neck. Your cunt clutched at his pulsing cock, greedy for every last drop of his spend she could get.
Once you were filled, you both collapsed beside each other on the bed, heaving to catch a steady breath.
“Y’okay, sweetheart?” Joel managed to ask, his chest still rising and falling rapidly.
Exhausted, all you could do was nod and utter, “Mhm.”
He exhaled an amused huff through his nose. “C’mere.” He reached for you and pulled you against his side. He draped an arm around your shoulders, holding you as close to him as was possible. “Y’did so good, honey.”
Your mouth curled into a small, contented smile.
Several minutes had passed by, and despite telling him that you were too tired to even think about moving, Joel made you get up and use the bathroom, and while you did so, he ran a clean washcloth under warm water. “Here, darlin’. Let me clean you up,” he’d said, his lips meeting your forehead in a loving token of affection before he sank down onto one knee and ran the damp cloth along the insides of your thighs. He took extreme care when he wiped at your swollen folds, knowing you were still sensitive to the touch. “There we go. All done, now.”
Not long after, you were both back in his bed, wrapped up in his sheets.
Yawning, you nuzzled into bare his chest, your eyelids feeling heavier and heavier with each and every second that ticked by. You’d started drifting off when you heard his voice.
“Baby?”
“Hmm?” you answered sleepily, eyes still closed.
“Did you mean what you said?”
“Mean what, Joel?”
There was a brief pause. “Y’know, when you said you’d stay with me.”
Snuggling closer to him, you mumbled, “Mhm. Of course I did.”
“S’not gonna be easy,” Joel murmured into your hair.
“I know.” You yawned. “But I have you.”
“You do. You’ve got me—and I’ve got you, babygirl.”
“Mm. I know that too, Joel.”
You felt him kiss the top of your head and then fell fast asleep in his arms.
The sun bloomed over the Grand Tetons.
Your father would wake soon, that’s to say if he wasn’t up already.
The nerves began to set in.
Joel must have sensed it. “Breathe, baby. S’gonna be okay,” he soothed, squeezing your hand.
With one of his warmer, heavier jackets that normally didn’t see the light of day until winter season draped around your shoulders, the two of you made your way down the road and towards your house. Or better said, towards your father’s house. Because after what you were about to do, that yellow and white cottage would no longer be a place you could call home.
He led you up to the porch. “Y’sure you don’t want me to go in there with you?” he asked, quietly.
You could have laughed. You almost did.
“Do you believe that to be a wise choice?”
“No, I reckon it ain’t the best idea,” Joel admitted with a sigh, raking his free hand through his unkempt, salt and pepper hair. He looked up at the house, then back at you. “Look, little dove. No matter what happens in there, just know that everythin’ will be alright. M’gonna take care of you. For the rest of my life, I’ll take care of you. I’ll try my hardest to be everythin’ you need.”
“You already are, Joel,” you said, your gaze earnest.
His chest swelled with warmth.
Truth be told, Joel didn’t know how he had managed to defy the odds—how he, of all people, had managed to make his way into that sweet, innocent, beautiful little heart of yours, but somehow he did, and he would not take this responsibility lightly.
He brushed your lips with his and promised, “Gonna be waitin’ right here, okay?”
“Okay.” Inhaling deeply, you willed yourself to let go of his hand and took a step back. You then started up the porch steps on wobbling legs. When you made it to the top, you glanced over your shoulder at Joel, who gave you a subtle nod of encouragement. Exhaling slowly, you reached for the knob with trembling fingers and turned it, opening the door. You stepped inside, your heart dropping into your stomach when you saw your father sitting there at the foot of the staircase, as if he’d been waiting for you. He had been waiting for you. Fully dressed, he sat on the second to last step with both hands folded on his bible in his lap, a rosary clutched between them. “Papa?”
He said nothing. Instead, he silently observed you—his eyes glazed over the men’s jacket and the short dress you were underneath it, the disheveled, loose hair and kiss swollen lips. Your holy cross nowhere to be seen.
“Papa.” You swallowed harshly and shifted your weight anxiously from the heel of one boot to the other. “We, um—we really need to have a talk.”
He peered around you, catching a brief glimpse of the man standing outside, waiting for you at the foot of the porch.
He cleared his throat, lightly. “Yes, child. I suppose that we do.”
Nodding tightly, you turned around and slowly closed the door. Joel’s words rang in your mind over and over, giving you the push of strength you knew you would need.
I’ve got you.
divider credit goes to @saradika 🤍
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headcanon request: how would the jjk guys react if someone's trying to flirt with them but they're already in a relationship with their s/o?
YES i love some light jealousy teehee
___
GOJO SATORU
has no chill if someone's flirting with him. or worse, he thinks someone's flirting with him, but they're just taking his order, or letting him know his shoe is untied.
he's literally "I'M MARRIED"
(for the untied shoe one, he definitely trips when he runs off)
he's so annoying abt it fr. always throwing "i have a wife" (even long before you're married) around even when unnecessary
and ppl do flirt with him, he's gojo, but sometimes... he's just a lot.
even if someone looks at him too long, he's wrapping his arm around you and loudly announcing "in front of my wife? you're lucky i'm holding her back!"
and you're just standing there bewildered with the box of cereal you were about to toss into the cart and wondering who the hell he's talking to- and when the hell did he propose??
FUSHIGURO MEGUMI
for the most part he doesn't really notice when someone's flirting with him. i think it would take some very obvious hints.
so say someone is really trying to get him to catch on, pulling all the stops- fluttering eyelashes, unnecessary touching, one too many comments about his eyes, and finally, slipping a piece of paper into his hand with their phone number.
megumi can accidentally be a little cold.
he scowls at the phone number before crumpling the paper and dropping it.
"i don't want that," he's completely expressionless when he speaks, and honestly, the flirt-er is lucky he said anything at all rather than straight up walking away. "i have a girlfriend"
and then he walks away.
and when he meets up with you again he's a little more affectionate than usual, holding you a little longer, pulling you closer when you settle on the couch or bed or wherever, kissing you a few extra times for good measure.
don't get him wrong, it's not out of guilt or anything. he just wants you to know that he thinks of you when you're apart, and that he appreciates and loves you to death. nothing could ever change that.
ITADORI YUUJI
i don't often add him to my brainrot posts but i SHOULD and i had the most brilliant thought for him specifically
if he's getting hit on, he'll shut it down casually enough, and just blatantly tell them they're not his type.
and then he'll just start listing everything about you. and lover boy is BABBLING ok, no one could shut him up
he's describing your hair your eyes your nose your hands your style- and once he gets thru the physical stuff, it gets random
he's talking about your hobbies, your weird interests or collections, how sometimes you're a bad driver but you try your best lmfao he gets on such a tangent i don't think he'd even realize his tactic for defusing the flirting is just confusing the other person to the point of no longer wanting to give him their number
and once he's done with his dreamy little speech, he just goes "like my partner!!" all excited and bubbly
he's always rushing off to meet up with you then, having got himself so eager to be around you some more
OKKOTSU YUUTA
he's polite, but firm. he can also be a little quick to say he's taken, but it's only because he wants to let people down easy!
he's very kind when urning down phone numbers or flirty advances, always giving a gentle smile and saying no thank you, or actually i have a girlfriend. and he never apologizes when he says the second one, but that doesn't mean he's cruel! he's just thoughtful and respectful of you!
yuuta's a total gentleman.
but. god forbid. if he gets one of those nasty ppl that pull the "your girlfriend doesn't have to know" bullshit. oh boy. he does not handle that well.
toxic!yuuta jumps out a little!!
for as polite as he can be, he can get nasty when provoked just right, and someone disrespecting you? his beloved?
first it's a lecture- how dare you suggest such a thing? do you often try to break up people's perfect love lives?
then it's standing up for your honor- do you know how wonderful and lovely my partner is? you couldn't even understand the lengths that their radiance extends to. this part usually gets a little messy. he can get carried away when talking about you.
and lastly, he gets personal. deeply. personal. if they're having a not-so-great hair day, or if their attempts at slipping him their number were particularly weak, he's pouncing on that. he sniffs out weakness like a goddamn Chivalrous Boyfriend Bloodhound and sinking his claws in. i think yuuta could be really mean if he wanted to.
but that's kinda hot tho
INUMAKI TOGE
definitely the funniest of all of them. bcuz if he's getting hit on, he kinda just... stands there.
._.
CAUSE HE LITERALLY CANT SAY ANYTHING ???
sure, he could play it off like he doesn't understand what they're saying, or even type a little note in his phone saying he has a partner... but...
toge definitely prefers to stand there, completely blank faced, and stretch out the discomfort as long as possible.
sometimes people just scowl and walk away, finding it rude
one time tho someone actually started tearing up and completely ran away
(you came back just as it happened, an ice cream cone in each hand and a confused look on your face. but there's no way your sweet, mute boyfriend made a person cry, right?)
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Yandere Mafia Octario thoughts: You are what Azul would call a 'rival' as they say, in a friendly way, of course. Surely smashing each other's heads onto the wall is just a greeting shared by you two.
CW: Like, violence, gore and torture??? On both parties? smut.
Just because Jade is always smiling at you despite all the chaos that ensues in the background doesn't mean he is not as threatening as Floyd. In fact, you are more concerned about him than the moody brashy Floyd.
You've seen it firsthand when the two of you were working together on how he was oh-not-so-merciful with the pitiful souls that couldn't even die without prolonged torture.
You totally didn't have to rip someone's fingernails off for funsies when they had admitted everything you both needed to know and you totally didn't have to send their limbs to their unknowingly family or beloved, or even neighbors as a ground meat.
Even so, sticking with Jade has more merit than sticking with the moody Floyd most of the time. Having to go along with Floyd's mood is tiring and taxing physically and mentally. You don't know when he is happy or angry with you for staying silent. You don't when he will push you forward into the enemy just because he doesn't feel like facing them and you don't know when he will single-handedly ruin all the plans you've had under your sleeve just because he felt like doing the other way.
Alas this resulted in a warped vision that sticking with Azul is to be the best option. For a man who doesn't dirty his gloved hands, all you have to do is be wary of his silver-tongued nature and not tangle yourself into a contract with him. Easy, right? No.
Chances are that whenever you two are left alone, it will either be a momentary solace or a bloody fight that breaks out between you two again. Fractured nose, scrapped knees, wounded arm, stabbed thigh, and so on. You couldn't even count the number of times you two have fought each other over a little difference with both of your hands anymore.
Nonetheless, Azul finds this... endearing. His little angelfish throwing a tantrum, surely giving you a kiss from the wall compensated the stab wound to his thigh.
"Fuck-! I'll fucking mince you into fillet!"
"I'd love to turn you into my tea leaves first before you try!"
The tweels could only snicker in front of the room, second-guessing the reason you two fought again. Was it because Azul mentioned how you used to fidget giving him and the tweels chocolate for Valentine's? Or was it because you mentioned how slow he was during PE class?
Your men were not fond of the tweels at all, seeing how nonchalant they were around you. To be fair, they were a bit tad too... nonchalant to the extent of groping you, or better worded, kissing you in the darkest corner you could find.
Smeared lipstick on the tweels' lip, unruffled hair, and disheveled clothes, it's a dead giveaway on what was going on. Definitely was when they proudly made you show your underlings their marks on you.
The time you spent with Azul that was not wasted on a bloody fight, would be a sensual one. Rewinding the old days sweetly while either of you stuff your face down on the crotch, fingers rubbing the other's scalp. It was a momentary bliss in which you were kind enough to not bite down on his length.
The tweels would either whine or sour down due to the fact they were not invited to join in your little play inside. But Azul is a kind and generous man so there would always be a chance for a group play inside the room. Their goal was to let the men in front know just how noisy you all could be.
Most of the time, you two don't really clash with each other so there were no internal problems, just sharing a friendly rivalry considering the amount of network you two could gain.
They are definitely going feral when they find out there's someone who can comatose you. Will cover it up as, "Haha, I got what you couldn't." when they don't really need to do that.
What a tsun.
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Could I get hc for where the M6 find MC badly injured?. Not like on deaths door but like they'll need a strict week of bedrest to recover.
How they would react to finding MC?, how they would react knowing someone out there hurt MC on purpose? and how they would spend the week looking after MC?.
Mainly curious for Asra/Nadia and Muriel but all the m6 would be appreciated.
The Arcana HCs: When M6 find MC badly injured
~ @fox-daddy oh, I hope you're ready for some bittersweet angst while I run with this classic romantic moment :3 hope you enjoy these, friend! - brainrot ~
CW for brief descriptions of violence, physical pain/injury, and the M6 being very, very upset
-- to set the scene --
You had spent the afternoon in the forest gathering more stock for the shop, and lost track of time in the process. By the time you were ready to leave the sun was already setting and it was getting harder to see where you were going.
The first sign you had of an attacker was the feeling of being slammed harder than you thought possible on the back of the head. Everything that followed was fuzzy - being hit a few more times around your torso and face, a figure with its face hidden, and eventually being thrown against a wall while your bag was yanked away.
You don't know when you fell asleep, but when you open your eyes, you're back in your shop with your beloved bending over you.
Julian
His hands are steady on your bruises, but when you meet his eyes you can hear his breaths and see the curls around his face shaking
"MC?" He asks worriedly, "Can you tell me where it hurts?"
He doesn't leave the house while you're recovering. He's grateful for any help Mazelinka, Portia, Nadia, or Asra offers, but he insists on treating you himself and does so with total care and devotion
It's one of the moments when you're grateful for his cold hands, because they're so soothing on your tender skin
As you recover enough to be more aware of your surroundings, you start to realize just how the incident is affecting him
You can hear him pacing and muttering and swearing when he thinks you're asleep, trying to figure out how this happened and who did it and how to bring your attacker to justice
And at the same time, you know that no matter how many times he apologizes for not being there and you tell him that it's not his fault, he's going to blame himself
At one point Mazelinka gives you both bowls of soup laced with sleeping medicine
When he's able to forget your attacker, though, he's in his element
He's willing and able to give you everything you need: healing, company, laughter, love, and devotion, all without limits
Though he's very relieved when Nazali catches the assailant lurking outside your shop as they bring their apprentice more supplies and knocks them to the ground
Asra
The first thing you see is their hair twice as fluffed out as usual because they've been running their hands through it
As soon as he sees you're awake, he's gently skimming a thumb across your cheek and putting on a strained smile. "Oh, my love. Everything's going to be alright."
Salim and Julian, who have both studied medicine, are already in the shop helping Asra heal you while Aisha keeps you comfortable
As soon as you're recovered enough, Asra's offering you all kinds of safety options after layering the building in protective magic
Would you feel safer in the Palace? In the woods? In Nopal? Say the word and they'll take you anywhere you want to go
Is very gentle and cautious about how he asks you what happened
Stays so extremely calm and unruffled while you're healing that you know they're feeling some pretty awful things and that they have no intention of letting any of them show until you're better
Behind the scenes, he's stealing away whenever you're asleep to pass all the information he has about your attacker on to Nadia, who is determined to bring them to justice
They're not the type to try to restrict you in the name of safety, but they're teaching you every kind of defense magic they know
Nobody does comfort like Asra does. You won't have to go through a moment of pain or fear without him right there to pull you into his arms and hold you as long as you need him to to feel safe
Nadia
She's putting on a brave face but you can tell from the wrinkle between her eyebrows that she's very, very shaken
"Don't fret, my darling, you're safe now. Don't move. I've summoned our best physicians. Is there anything you desire? Anything I may fetch for you?"
As soon as you're cleared to move she's relocating you to the Palace where she can keep you safe and stay by your side
She is so dedicated to staying available to you, in fact, that she moves all of her meetings into the room next to yours so that she can hear you if you so much as cough
And if she does hear you in any kind of discomfort, she's dropping everything and rushing over
She'll move your head to her lap, bring food and water to your mouth, call for blankets and soup or ice cream and fans depending on your temperature, and trace your face with her fingertips until you fall asleep or force her to go back to work
You are her absolute priority
She's not going to tell you until later, but she is very, very angry
The cold kind of angry, that makes it difficult for her to be fair in her dealings. She has every connection both in and out of Vesuvia on a manhunt for your attacker
As soon as she hears that they've been apprehended, she has them detained until you're recovered enough to get out of bed
She wants justice, but she wants closure for you too, and the opportunity for you to obtain both for yourself
Muriel
As triggered and panicked as he is, Muriel has unfortunately gotten enough combat experience to have in-depth knowledge of how to care for someone who's been attacked
When you open your eyes, his expression is shifting between angry and terrified and deeply, deeply hurt, but his touch is gentle and safe and feather-light and he has water and painkillers already out
He doesn't want to overwhelm you with noise so he won't start talking until you do
He'll lock up the shop and carry you back to the hut as soon as possible, where he knows it's safe for you and for him
He's used to living with his own pain, but now he's becoming angry on your behalf and it's making him conflicted because he hates doing anything that could cause violence
So he sends Inanna with a note to Asra, explaining what happened briefly and asking them to pass the message on to Nadia so they can help
The two of them are quick to send everything you could need your way, and Muriel finds it much easier to accept help when it's for you instead of for him
Julian even makes the trek out once or twice to help you, and in the process tells everyone he meets about what happened and the state you're in
With the whole town on the hunt for whoever hurt their heroes, it's a matter of days before the attacker is caught. It's a miracle they make it to jail in one piece
Portia
The first thing you see are her tear-filled eyes, and the second thing you feel (after the aches across your body) are the steady drip of them falling onto your chest
"MC! Oh, I'm so glad you're awake. I'm so sorry - I'm so sorry!"
It's only a few more minutes before Julian and Mazelinka burst through the door, Julian carrying his doctor's kit and Mazelinka brandishing an honest-to-arcana pirate cutlass
Portia doesn't hide her determination to get justice for you as she carries you into Nadia's carriage to take you back to her cottage
She's holding your head and torso in her arms, helping you give Nadia a description of what happened while she presses her handkerchief to her eyes to keep her tears from dripping on you
She's the best nurse you could ask for
Whatever you can stomach, she'll cook it. If you're too hot, she's throwing open the windows and fanning you. If you're too cold, she's snuggling next to you and sharing her body heat
And if you're scared or hurting, she's cradling your face in her hands and crying all her tears for you. She develops a habit of kissing you right next to each injury every morning and night
When you're asleep, she's talking to every person she knows (which is a lot) and recruiting them to catch your attacker
By the time Nadia hears that they were found, it's almost too late to get them safely into custody
Lucio
His lips are white. All the blood has left his face, and his jaw is clenched so tightly to keep from chattering that you're worried it's going to crack
"MC? MC, are you awake? Does it hurt? What do you need?"
You notice that he's keeping his metal arm angled far, far away from you, where the metal can't bump any of your injuries, and his regular hand is fluttering all over your body like he's scared that he'll make it worse if he touches you
You quickly notice that there's several neighbors in the shop as well, and you learn that Lucio was so loud when he called for help that half the town already knows what's happened
He doesn't want to hurt you, so he guards you instead
He stays watchful at your bedside, sword resting by his hand, so that you know you're safe enough to fall asleep and heal
He'll only sleep if it's on the floor next to you, or in the same bed after you've told him multiple times that it won't hurt you
He'll happily tell you all kinds of tall tales to keep you distracted, and he practices all the patience he's developed with every friend and doctor that stops by to help instead of blowing up at them out of fear
All his anger has to go somewhere, though, so when an old connection from the heart district tells him that your attacker's been spotted, well
The only reason he doesn't kill them is because he thinks it would be too kind
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hi pookie I’m so happy today, it’s my birthday and I’m wondering how Keanu’s characters would pamper the reader on their birthday? Would it be giving them gifts? I feel like jw would do that as well as physical touch, ACTUALLY JOHN CONSTANTINE WITH BIRTHDAY SEX HELLO???? I’m delusional but gosh he would be feeling nice on that day and just let into the reader and treating her nicer than usual (which must include eating her out in the morning cause I swear this man probably gives the best mf head!!! :((( ) John wick on the other hand would probably give her massages no??? Ted Logan would shower her with his cheesy nicknames
(I NEED THEM NEOWWWWWWWW :((((( )
honestly today I need John C. SO BAD THE BRAIN ROT IS REAL ☹️☹️
-🥖 anon
☆ — HOW THEY ACT ON YOUR BIRTHDAY.
[ content. fem!reader! fluff! smut— brief somno! ] ・happy birthday, nonnie! ♡🫧 here's my little gift for you. includes: john constantine, john wick, ted logan.
john constantine.
♪ it's your birthday, so i know you want to rideeeee out ♪
it's damn near out of character how affectionate constantine is with you on your birthday.
MORNING!! AFTERNOON!! EVENING!! ALL NIGHT!! NO BREAKS!!
okay kidding.. kind of.. not really...
he wakes you up with head. you stir awake in the early hours of sunrise to the feeling of soft kisses on your inner thigh. his hands wrapped tightly around your legs, spreading them apart and you can feel his hot breath on your cunt.
"con, what are you.." your words die in your throat when constantine's soft lips meet your wet cunt. arching your back, a whiney moan escapes your throat as his tongue moves faster against your bud of nerves.
"happy birthday, doll."
totally irrelevant— but his raspy morning voice 🧟♀️😵💫 !!!
he's not very good at actual gift giving unfortunately :// he'd probably pick up some occult trinket or a pretty antique thing that he'd think you like.
constantine would write you a birthday card!! or letter!! he's better with his words. although he's never mushy and sentimental with you all other 364 days of the year— this one day he has an excuse to be extra sweet to you.
it'd be short, but you treasure it like it's your child. even with his cool-i-don't-care-persona, you don't miss the way he's scanning your eyes and your reaction as you read the letter.
"oh my god, this is so sweet!" you gush and he rolls his eyes, a faint smile on his lips. "i love you, john, thank you— really."
he presses a soft kiss to your forehead; "i love you too, dollface."
this might be the first time he's spent a whole 24 hours with you that didn't involve arguing, or running off to battle demons from hell.
⠀⠀⠀
john wick.
two wOOORDDSS: SUGAR. DADDY.
okay i'm joking.
BUTT!!!
he loves to spoil his special girl on her special day :') he's the most thoughtful of the keanu boys. john always pays attention to things that you like or admire at— and would literally run to the end of the damn earth to get it for you!!!
he also gets you a pearl necklace, or some super expensive jewelry to wear.
"john, oh my god," you gasp, holding the golden chain around your neck. the shiny 'j' charm hanging at the end was less than subtle, but made your heart swoon nonetheless. "i can't take this, baby :(( it must've been so expensive—"
"don't worry about that," his baritone voice echoes in your ear, his beard tickling your cheek as he stands behind you. his chest to your back and hands resting on your waist, gazing at your reflection in the mirror. "happy birthday, honey."
john is so sweet to you on your birthday (not that he isn't every other day but he's just so much more doting). he'd spend the whole day with you, doing whatever you want to do.
he feels so guilty that he hardly ever sees you because of his job— and his own internal insecurity that he thinks he doesn't deserve you :(((
so john will go out of your way to make you feel like the only girl in the world.
⠀⠀⠀
ted logan.
oh my sweet, beloved ted.
he's so cheesy it's crazy. ted has that Romcom Rizz™️. most of his moves are from your favorite movies.
he's more excited for your birthday than you are.
like he's just lying down next to you with a goofy smile on his face, waiting for you to wake up. the second you open your eyes, its:
"happy birthday, babe!" he grins, and he gives you a soft kiss on the nose, and then another one on your lips.
"ugh, ted— morning breath!"
he takes you to the arcade!! that's fun!! right? well anything's fun with ted. he spends the whole day making you laugh, and taking you on a wild goose chase around san dimas.
and his gift to you? a song!! what kind of bassist bf would he be if he didn't write songs about the most excellent babe in all of san dimas?? 🤨
"dedicated to the most bodacious babe, my girlfriend!" he winks at you, and picks up his bass— and bill's, of course, standing in the corner recording the whole thing.
you watch as his eyes light up with excitement when he plays his song for you. aside from the occasional off-key note or questionable lyric— you can't stop the dorky grin growing on your lips.
he's a blushing mess, you're a flattered babe, i mean talk about a match made in heaven.
you're the coolest girl ted knows— of course he goes all out for your birthday!!
﹙ ♡ ﹚─ taglist: @desoolate @sughcashsaiki @vezuiv @slutforsoldierboy @br-2408 @jaga2137 @beansricejc @emosludge @nwheregirl . . !
let me know if anyone wishes to be added/removed. ∗ ୧ ‧ ₊ ˚
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It’s time… STARDEW VALLEY TK HEADCANONS!!
I’m not gonna lie to you… it’s just the bachelors lmao. Anyways~
So Shane right? Dad bod? Dad bod. And everyone knows his squishy tummy is also so so sensitive to raspberries it’s not even (it totally is) funny. He shrieks if you blow even a small one.
However unless you are his s/o or a really close friend you’re gonna get your shit rocked if you even poke him in a sensitive spot 😭. The only exception being Jas who has totally tried waking him up with tickles before. Granted he nearly threw her off the first time but he caught himself and just curled into a ball.
Dr. Harvey has insane Luigi energy. It’s probably been said before but I can’t help myself he’s Luigi coded 💀. Anyways, ticklish ears.
if someone tries to be discreet and whisper something to him he will make a silly “haauggg”-ish noise before ducking away and giggling slightly. He’ll apologize and blush slightly at how unprofessional that was and continue albeit with a lot more distance between himself and the other person
Alex… one part of me thinks his toxic masculinity makes him think being ticklish is weak and childish while the other part of me thinks he’s touch starved/never really knew a gentle touch and therefore likes it but refuses to admit it and instead uses it to tease and playfully bully others. Y’know what, both.
y’know how when you try to tickle someone and the second your hands get too close to their armpits they clamp up immediately? That’s Alex. And no matter how much you tease “You know my hands are just trapped here right? This isn’t gonna help you~” he will just stay that way until he winds up on the floor silently laughing because A) he physically is unable to move his arms up and B) He’s too stubborn to admit defeat.
That being said he would totally ask his s/o (or extremely close friend) to help him “train” the ticklishness out of him… although it’s also an excuse to be tickled.
To my Elliot fans… I’m sorry I can’t think of anything really, I’m gonna be real honest with you I almost completely forgot about him 💀.
The closest to an idea for Elliot I can get is that he has no problems gently tickling his s/o but he cannot stand getting tickled because it makes him feel unrefined 😭.
Sam. Oh this sweet sweet golden retriever has total switch energy. If it wasn’t for my weakness for Emo boys I would have married this Vash the Stampede look alike.
Anyways, the man has mad switch energy and since he has a little brother he totally knows that tickling can be a weapon. That being said if he learned its a reward for you it’s even better. Sam plays guitar so he by default is good with his hands… take that as you will.
Honestly his feet are his worst spot which is unfortunate since Sam not only loves to sleep but is a messy sleeper. Which means one foot will usually always be hanging outside his blanket which is just perfect in case Vincent wants to be a little shit and sit on his brothers legs and wake him up that way. Unlike Shane, Sam has no restraint and has kicked Vincent off the bed.
I saved the best for last. Sebastian my beloved. My Emo king 😭.
First things first, he doesn’t like being tickled… or so you think. Giving him a playful poke to his ribs will make him jump and turn to glare at you before rubbing the spot soothingly. However if you do it again he just tries not to react until he’s just quietly holding himself and covering his mouth to muffle his silly little giggling. Then it hits you he hasn’t told you to stop once.
He works on his motorcycle and that takes some strength and skill therefore, like Sam, he’s also good with his hands… his hands are also always cold although he doesn’t feel it.
While I think his back is a really bad spot he reacts the same way if you tickle him really gently anywhere.
(Also this is mostly thirst but his tummy is very smooth and perfect for just gently tracing shapes with your nails or pressing little butterfly kisses °//w//°. He doesn’t mind either he just giggles into his hoodie and tries not to squirm too much)
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Seven(ish) Sentence Sunday ✍️
Tagged by the incredibly talented and wonder @hippolotamus and @jamespearce9-1-1 💚
The Daylight series has kind of been sucking up all the writing beans this week, but since I finished and posted my first fic in the series (you can read it here), my brain may have more space for my beloved Rival Firefighters 🚒 .
Here’s a snippet that follows after this one … I’m hoping the feedback from it makes the writing beans happy and I can dive back in 🤞🏻😁
“What about you? You mentioned that you’re not looking for a relationship, which I call total bullshit on, by the way.” She raises an eyebrow at him and she’s got this look in her eyes that he remembers from when they were kids. He’d called it her bull detector look, and it had never been wrong.
“I’m not bullshiting!”
Maddie gives him a deadpan look. “Oh come on, Buck. You used to love being in a relationship! The first time you got a girlfriend you were practically giddy!”
“That’s because I was a teenage boy who finally got to kiss someone and touch boobs!”
“You’re seriously going to try and tell me that you don’t want to form an actual connection with someone that isn’t just physical? To find someone who you can share all the highs and lows of life with? Who you can laugh and joke around with but also have the hard conversations with as well? Someone who has your back just as much as you have theirs? And not to mention the regular sex.”
Buck doesn’t think he’s actually ever had what Maddie is describing (he’s not sure she really has either, maybe in the first couple of months with Doug before his true colours came out to play, but he’s not going to bring that up now.). Yes he’s had relationships, used to love being in one until one too many people realised he was not worth their time and left him broken hearted and alone, as they bailed before they could build something good. No one’s ever taken a chance on him and thought he was worth staying for. But he doesn’t say any of that to Maddie, can barely even admit it to himself.
No pressure tagging: @thewolvesof1998 @wikiangela @watchyourbuck @spotsandsocks @steadfastsaturnsrings @exhuastedpigeon @callmenewbie @theotherbuckley @hoodie-buck @wildlife4life @eddiebabygirldiaz @rainbow-nerdss @try-set-me-on-fire @athenagranted @shitouttabuck @devirnis @disasterbuckdiaz @giddyupbuck @homerforsure @honestlydarkprincess @jesuisici33 @jeeyuns @captain-hen @clusterbuck @ladydorian05 @loserdiaz @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @spagheddiediaz @malewifediaz @nmcggg @mellaithwen @missmagooglie and anyone else wanting to share xx
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(ALMOST) EVERYTHING I NOTICED FROM BAC BMC
NOTE: spot check me!
It was the Two Rivers script, but I still haven't read the whole Two Rivers script so if I mention something I noticed that’s actually just… in the script… lmk!
Also: if you also saw the BAC production (or if you are the BAC people???) and I missed something, let me know!!! Literally anything at all I will put it here I’d love to approach comprehensiveness!!
ALSO: Spoilers! If you plan on going to Jake’s Halloween Party maybe wait? Or don’t!!
CHARACTERS
Madeline
Putting Madeline here because the first thing I noticed in the whole show is she’s ACTUALLY A FRANCOPHILE and it’s so funny ldksjfjsfksdlf. She wears a beret, and people put on a stereotypical French accent whenever they quote her djslkfjsfkfds And during the play backstage someone (I think Chloe?) runs up to her, smacks her beret off and yells “You’re not French!”
Jeremy
OH oh oh oh oh. Bac Jeremy my beloved…. I swear like 30% of Christine’s autism was generously donated to Jeremy for this production jlkdsfjdls
He has this habit where he’ll put his hands in his cardigan pockets and push his them around in front of him or on his body to feel the tension of the jacket stretching. Patrick said this quirk was based on a neurodivergent kid he knows. I don’t have photo evidence and IDK how to describe it perfectly but i did draw it here (x). It wasn't exactly like that though OTL
He does it whenever he’s nervous (so almost CONSTANTLY) up until BMC P.1 when the SQUIP tells him to take his hands out of his pockets. During that song you can see him trying to put his hands back safe in his pockets but afterwards he never does it again, even after The Play. He also doesn’t do it when he’s with Michael, even at the beginning, so I take it to mean it goes away when he’s comfortable.
I think he flinches and cowers a lot (compared to other Jeremys, that is). Whenever Rich surprises him, Jeremy jumps and protectively throws his arms over his face. I think he reacts similarly to other people a few times - I don’t remember when exactly though… There’s also several times where he’ll stand totally petrified out of fear, like when Rich is writing “boyf” or when Chloe’s coming onto him. By all of this I basically mean it’s really obvious he’s been physically abused (presumably by Rich).
Just in general, his freakouts are very physical, he’ll kinda do these stiff arm movements or cover his face in his elbow etc. Off the top of my head this happens during Upgrade and also at the end of The Play when Christine’s singing to him.
All this to say he has a very very visible physicality to his awkwardness and I love it. I don’t just mean that on a character acting level, I also mean like if you’re sitting behind him in class your attention will actively be caught by his awkwardness.
He also has a deeper register which he uses mostly in a joke context? He used it in normal conversation a few times too, I think more towards the end.
I noticed him standing just a little pigeon-toed near the beginning. I don’t know if this carried through the whole thing though.
Clothes: his cardigan is blackish with a blue outline, and he wears it over a green shirt with a question mark (I perceived it as a Gravity Falls shirt but might be wrong). The eminem shirt is black and I dont remember what he wears it with…. At the party he has a cyborg shirt and a visor, and after the party he has a white shirt with a flannel and khakis (or maybe light corduroys). In VIMH he has another fandom shirt on but I don’t remember what it was sorry it was 11pm ljfsdlkfjdslkfs
Its so obvious I’m a Jeremy stan this entry is the largest one sorry 🧍
Mr. Heere
He seemed less depressed and more just out of touch in this one? During Two Player Game, he seems decently chipper, if annoyed, though of course he’s still unable to dress himself and unwilling to put genuine effort in with his son.
When he says “Good talk” he gives Jeremy a friendly shoulder punch. Right before Pants Song, as usual, he says “I could ground you!” Jeremy says “I don’t think you could,” and gives his dad the same shoulder punch while saying “Good talk.” AAAAAAH.
Michael
He seemed less frenetic and anxious than the Troy!Michael I’m used to (sorry that’s my only reference for Michael lol).
He was generally loud and exuberant. A very excitable but down-to-earth Michael.
MITB was amazing. I was nervous because it’s obviously (obviously) the best song so there’s a lot of pressure but no it was done perfectly. Sad as fuck. Perhaps moreso because this Michael was especially normal until now. (Also because pre-MITB Jeremy was extra mean in this production)
For some reason, I found it easier to picture this Michael being a childhood & school friend? Maybe just because this production seriously pulled my psyche straight back to highschool in a way the others haven’t been able to lol.
I maybe got the sense that he’s really trying to act like he doesn’t care as much about Jeremy as he does.
BTW I’m obsessed with the fact that his idea of a creeper costume is a mask and a shirt that just says creeps on it. I know that’s kinda textual at this point but taken together with the mask its lkesdjfsdjflksdf
Christine
Amazing ballet (?) choreography going on during her intro. I think that might be standard Christine choreo but still! Stunning.
I could actually picture her as an averagely popular girl in this one? Not sure why. Maybe more nervous in her relationships but more confident in other contexts, but I could be pulling that out of my ass.
I could also be thinking this because she has cool hair (space buns!) and likes Taylor Swift in this one.
Some of her songs had these really melancholy notes where I didn’t expect them - particularly in GTIKBI Reprise (/pos! I was like oh shit!!! every time)
Rich
He has painted nails! They’re black.
He had fruity energy the whole time but it got progressively more intense. No I can’t elaborate actually I don’t know why I perceived it like this but I did sldjkfsf
After he comes out it gets more explicit; he starts wearing a pink headband in VIMH (he also gains glasses I think? Unless they’re still Michael’s) and during bows he flashed a paper fan that had the gay flag inside.
IMO, it was implied that the house fire was a suicide attempt. I say this for purely textual reasons - because he doesn’t mention trying getting the SQUIP out of his head, and because Jeremy’s SQUIP later implies it was a suicide attempt. But his behavior around the fire - looking dazed while rhythmically flicking a lighter - could also indicate squipzophrenia. (Maybe it’s the same amount of implied as usual - To be fair, I’ve never really understood why Rich set a fire in the first place…)
Brooke
Very wholesome and I love her. IDK Broadway Brooke is very campy, and BAC Brooke is more like a normal sweet girl but maybe that’s just me
Compared to Broadway, way more respectful of Jeremy’s space. She doesn’t really try to physically seduce him in upgrade instead they just have a cute lil conversation. Also when she tells Jeremy she got cheated on, she doesn’t initiate contact by petting his hair (like in Broadway) - instead the roles are reversed and they hold hands comfortingly, and Jeremy is the one to escalate that by rubbing her hand in a slightly forward way.
Her French was awful!!! sdjkfldjsfkdsf It was the whole time but Tres Magnifique = "Trays Mag-nuh-Fike" is the one that really killed me
Chloe
Not to be backhanded… but she was really good at being a bitch??? Especially the scene where she’s giving Christine advice
Maybe closetedly wlw based on the delivery of “I like gay people” and the events of The Play??
The Chloe Jenna friendship intrigues me so much… what’s going on there…
Jenna
Sadder than Broadway Jenna…
When Chloe mentions her in play rehearsal she jumps up from across the room and says “I’m here!!” to no reaction.
Later in Smartphone Hour - J: “....because you are my closest friend-” C: “No I’m not” J: “Yeah I know….” Jenna sounds kinda genuinely bummed lol. Either she wasn’t expecting that or she’s *very* aware of it and it’s making her sad. My impression was more the latter.
During VIMH she’s wearing a sweater that’s colored like the lesbian flag??? (EDIT: the actor, Diana, said this was intentional and her Jenna is a lesbian!)
Idk idk actor so good she made me care so much more about Jenna dsfljdf
Jake
Maybe a touch more upfront about the fact that he feels a lot of pressure in his life
He was dumb <3
Mrs. Reyes
She’s a woman in this one!
She has a hippie thing going on i think?? Like a boho mom (affectionate)
Pronounces Reyes with a (several second long) rolled R at the beginning
Doesn’t do the stiff announcer-like angle that the broadway guy does. Her comedy is more crazy cat ladyish
The hot pocket breaks were preceded by an actual alarm sound I think???? bonkers fkljd
Ensemble
BIG ENSEMBLE WAS SO FUN…. They had so many funny bits going on in the background it was soooo good and another reason I wish I could watch it over and over because I couldn’t be paying attention to everything at once OTL
Scene by scene
Organized by song, but scene notes are in there too!
More Than Survive
"Madeline was all like-" *bad french accent* "ohohoho, I'll only sleep with you if you beat me at ze pool~"
“Oh my god he is like totally getting off on that” ← right before this Jeremy starts pointing at them awkwardly from a distance, I think in an attempt to get to his locker??
“I like gay people” - the way Chloe says this is kinda like “idk what the big deal is because *i* think gay people are soooo neat” which got a lot of audience laugh. I think she was talking to Jenna but I don’t remember
“I don’t wanna be a baller” (or whenever the class scene is) - Jeremy’s sitting in the back of class and everyone turns to throw paper balls at him. I was like oh my god he’s being genuinely bullied so hard in this one…. Then again maybe that’s just how he feels?
There’s this awesome chair choreo at the end where everyone’s laying down chairs in front of Jeremy for him to walk on and taking them away from the back to put back in the front as he makes his way downstage.
Scene: Michael's "You don't have to do this!" kind of came across as a shout of protest. (But of course still tempered with, "of course i'll make fun of you forever if you don't)
Play Rehearsal
"This is where you meet for the swim team" --- Instead of looking confused, Jeremy immediately acts like ok byeee - he might be eager to back out of the conversation and/or immediately accepts her answer as literal and wants to leave asap out of embarrassment.
“I also have a touch of ADD” - she trails off and stands there kind of in a daze for a moment, before remembering that she’s in the middle of a song.
“And can I mention that was really one of my best roles, DID YOU SEE THAT?!" She shouts this very proudly. And after her 'do you find that?' bit she doesn’t give Jeremy time to even try to respond, so it’s a little less rude lol.
Jeremy was very anxious, and somewhat in a bad way? As in the exchange was a bit off-putting to him.
Scene: “thank god the popular kids are here” - there are SO MANY kids entering. I’m not sure what to make of it! Popular as in everyone’s popular compared to Jeremy and Christine? Or is this a whole clique? Or is Reyes just talking about the popular kids and the other guys also just show up?
Mrs. Reyes: ~"Our funds will be diverted. To the frisbee golf team. What even is frisbee golf?" Across the room, Jake holds up a frisbee and silently points at it, trying to get Reyes' attention. She doesn't notice.
After scene: Jake’s “pressure to be the best at everything” is said very genuinely, not for laughs at his arrogance which is how I usually read it
Squip Song
Rich actor KILLED it just gotta put that out there
“So it’s like….” Jeremy takes an extended moment to walk to the edge of the stall and look behind to make sure nobody’s there - “...drugs?”
In the end of the song, Rich rubs his dirty hands all over Jeremy's arm.
The Squip Enters
Scene: Payless: “Wolverine” was great djklsfjdsf I’ve never thought about him before. (It was also the actor’s birthday!) When they enter he’s playing the knife-finger game. He threatens Jeremy with the knife at some point (either “400 dollars” or “all sales are final!” I think?). I can’t really describe the character acting but he was very entertainingly unhinged. He's called “Scary Stockboy” in the script & playbill and I thought that was a misnomer until the scene happened lmao. No that was accurate.
Scene: when they enter the food court there’s like a photo of a mall food court on the back wall but not from the perspective of the scene at all it was like a background that abstractly tells you where you are?? As someone who loves kitsch I enjoyed this, it happens with a few other scenes too
There’s a couple making out obnoxiously at the mall that someone (I think it was Michael?) had to step over to get to the table. I think they had some great thematically relevant background acting in this scene but I cannot remember it exactly I am so sorry OTL
Michael is buying Ecto-Cooler! It tastes like ghosts.
Jeremy “mourns in his chili fries” by laying his head down on the table. Jake and Christine sit at the table together without noticing him. Then Jeremy pops up and they have the usual exchange (“I didn’t see you!” “Yeah, you’re kind of hard to notice”). I thought that was a really neat staging!! And it makes more sense why he even tries to talk to her in this scene lol
Mild discomfort - The first half Jeremy just stands next to the table and kinda screams in pain. Then the second half he falls to the ground and is thrashing, again mostly just in pain. (Pretty sure that’s how every production goes but I think the intensity of the spasming is pretty variable so I’m describing it here)
When the SQUIP first appears, he offers to appear as Kermit the Frog, Barack Obama, and Gilbert Gottfried, and does a little impression for each one:
The imitations the Squip does are as follows: Kermit the Frog “hi ho Kermit the frog here, we’re gonna fix your life Yayyyyy”, Obama “My fellow Squip, if sync up we can change this loser” and Gilbert Gottfried “So Grandma and the dog are on the table…” - Courtesy of director Chris Guell because I couldn't remember them OTL (thank you!!!)
Also in the middle of this Jeremy says "That's a terrible Obama impression..."
Be more Chill p.1
Brooke and Chloe are shopping on the upstage side of the clothes rack; when Jeremy picks out the girls shirt, Brooke appears through the gap in the clothes and surprises him.
After the song, one of the ensemble steals the clothes rack and the mall cop chases him off stage in a very cartoonishly stiff sprint.
Do you wanna ride?
After the first rejection, Brooke goes to Chloe, who points out the satchel she has belted around her waist. As she starts to sing again she slowly unbuckles it and holds it behind her back.
Jeremy is very into it by the end and the girls have him dancing along with the music. I think you can see that in one of the promo videos too :P
Be More Chill p.2
Scene: When Jeremy’s going to bed after the mall, instead of sleepily singing, he uses a silly deep voice to say something like “yeah be more chill i’m gonna be more chill i’m gonna be so chill that ice is relatively warm”
After Rich talks to Jeremy (“hey, tallass, where’s my money?” and then they sync up) he spots a girl across the stage and yells “Hey, where’s my money?” then chases her down the hall.
Guy that I’d Kinda be Into
Scene: during the rehearsal - JR: "Bring me patient zero!" Then Chloe, sitting on the ground, looks through her script for like 45 seconds until finding her line: "Cough!"
At “I’ve been activating your pheromones” - Jeremy starts and looks at his armpits, then as the song continues he slowly pulls his arms up to rest behind his head, it was very comedic djflkdsf. He also uses one hand to waft from his armpit before returning to that position. Guy...
I think this is also the scene he uses a script to hide his boner??
They were so cute at the end!!! Just sitting next to each other in rehearsal and kinda leaning in towards each other. Very real very high school.
Upgrade
Scene: While Jeremy and SQUIP argue about Eminem, Brooke is (silently) describing the accident. She mimes hitting a hockey puck, then being impaled in the guts repeatedly.
Instead of literal bleachers (at least visually), Brooke and Jeremy go sit on the top of the stairs that lead off of the stage and into the audience. They kinda playfully walk around the railings and stuff, and at the point in the Broadway version where they start aggressively making out, instead they just sit next to each other and talk and it’s very cute :)
Jeremy’s freaking the fuck out in the middle and it’s so obviously sensory overload auauuauuauaugh. He was like contorting to cover his head in his arms. Guy…
Halloween
Brooke’s costume is a sexy dalmatian! She has an eyespot and a black and white skirt + other spotty white clothes. Jeremy’s cyborg costume only extends to the shirt & a visor. I think it matched with the squip’s visor?
THE PROJECTOR…. On the background was the funniest background it could possibly be it was like a graphic of a cartoon skeleton holding a wooden sign that said “Jake’s Halloween Party”. IDK if that’s a poster he got printed or if it’s an extremely camp way of abstractly giving us the setting or what but I WAS LOSING IT SLKDJFKDSJFSD
I WISH I had a picture of it, but in lieu of that I recreated it for you and I swear it was like 95% exactly like this. just projected on the wall behind the stage.
Do you wanna hang?
Right before this scene, there’s a huge group choreo where people dance with partners, and in the last move one partner spins the other one down, who lands on the floor looking up at them. Jeremy ends up on the floor and Chloe walks up and stands over him while inviting him to come with her.
TW - This scene is always sexual assault, but the tone felt especially dark this time – maybe it was just seeing it live, though.
Jeremy’s standing frozen still as the song starts and kind of visibly recoiling as Chloe walks around him. She walks behind him and shoves her hands into his coat pockets, which makes him flinch. Extra upsetting because like I said before I think his coat pockets are kind of a place of safety for him :(((
Pretty sure the SQUIP's Japanese was different from the Broadway. Wasn't sure quite what he said, but it I think it *didnt* include these from the Broadway one: お腹が空いた (I'm hungry) and お疲れ様 ('pleasure doing business with you,' i think?)
Michael in the Bathroom
Scene: Jeremy seems very shaken after DYWH and sits on the bathtub sadly; when Michael reveals himself Jeremy flips out.
Michael talks about “his clever disguise” and makes monster growls (meant as creeper hisses?) - I think with the tone that he’s trying to get Jeremy to respond to the joke, or point out the reference or something. When that fails, he starts getting serious.
“Get out of my way, loser” is delivered very confidently.
After Michael says he’s on his period, Jenna opens the door a crack to hand him a tampon dsjfkldsjflkdsjf. He throws it in the bathtub later at “I’m a creeper in a bathroom….”
Also of course, he’s in a creeper mask lol
Song: WONDERFULLY done. Honestly don’t have much to say it was just great. I get desensitized to that song after hearing it so much, but seeing it live definitely brought a spark to it.
“And I look in the mirror and the present is clearer…” section is like the *key* part of this song to me and Connor Introna did it really well. His voice started breaking at mirror, and of course he did the little sob and everything it was just chefs kiss
Guy that I’d Kinda be Into Reprise
When Jeremy asks why Rich didn’t give him a warning and Rich starts saying “warning” over and over, he says it at a steady rhythm until he gets off stage. Then Jeremy tries to rouse a drunken partier to say “So that was weird…” and Rich’s “Warning” randomly interrupts Jeremy like 3 times to comedic effect before he can get the words out
"Popular people are messed up" - less in response to Rich & more in response to the guy Rich is talking to passing out drunk (iirc)
This is just a 2R things but it hit me so just pointing out she just says “I’m not Juliet” in this one (rather than we’re not romeo and juliet) and auuauguughghg poor Christine :(
Weird noises: it’s kinda like a dinosaur impression in this one? They both go like RAAHH and make claw hands in the air. Then Jeremy stands up and pretends to be driving a car (I think???? lol) and Christine copies him
Christine starts standing up while Jeremy’s still asking her out. As soon as he finishes the question she immediately rejects him. That is to say, she saw where this was going and already knew her answer.
After the scene, Rich walks back across the room, flicking a lighter on and off in a daze.
ALSO: Ensemble were very entertaining in the whole party! During this scene there were 3 of them playing spin the bottle downstage left and it had like a whole arc to it sdnjkfdfdsf Also guys passed out on the floor and on the couch
Smartphone Hour
Starts w/ Jenna sitting on the edge of the stage, dangling her legs over the pit.
Brooke is sadly eating Rich’s loaf of bread. (After she forgives Chloe she passes it to some other actor offstage which I probably wasn’t supposed to see but it was funny lol. communal machete bread)
THE PROJECTOR….. Everyone was holding phones and in the background was footage from their front-facing cameras (prerecorded, but it synced pretty well with the live actors). Then you could see the GUI of them typing some of the lyrics (“rich fled to bombay!!”) into imessage and twitter
AND THEN you see footage of the house burning down on an insta reel…. An unremarkable suburban house where you can see flames consuming the roof. This same footage plays on a few people’s reels, then there’s also footage of firemen coming and putting the fire out and its SO REALISTIC i was losing it
Around “Changed my profile pic to you” it shows a bunch of (presumably) instagram photos of Rich like in his house and at school or wherever and i wont lie it made me feel for him a lot more. They were like actual full staged photos :( like thats a real guy in there…
Pitiful children
Scene: When Jenna asks if the SQUIP is a drug, she does the same extended thing of checking to see that nobody’s watching that Jeremy did in The Squip Song
The Pants Song
Scene: see my notes on Mr. Heere aaaaaauguh
Michael’s sitting on his front steps while smoking weed from a tiny green bong. You can tell it’s his front steps because there’s a mailbox next to him labeled MELL BOX in big letters dslkfjdskfjs
Michael’s wearing pants - I think that’s just textually accurate but reporting it anyway
When Mr. Heere comes over (“do you love him?”), he puts one leg on the top step and Michael is eye-level with his crotch. Michael has trouble tearing his eyes away. This happens a few times. In my opinion, it made him come off as a lot more high than he usually does lol
If I remember correctly, they get very intense and like shoulder-grabby at one point. Could’ve been a different scene though I dont remember OTL OTL
The Play
Michael comes out of the audience!!! It was cool it was meta lol
PINKBERRY CANON SDLKFJDKLFJKFJLSF. Brooke and Chloe have the Two Rivers dialogue (He didn’t sleep with you? He didn’t sleep with me!) then after Sisters forever! they do these actions to the rhythm of three staccato beats: “Jinx!” *high five(?)* *KISS ON THE LIPS* and instantly pull away. They're extremely normal about it and are just standing there afterwards without moving or acknowledging it.
Despite being in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, Jeremy is dumbstruck and stares at them for a few beats before moving on to the next line. It was amazing. No notes.
Jeremy is horrified when Christine starts singing to him. She walks robotically over to him and speaks kind of like she’s reading off a script (hehehe). Jeremy is backing up against a wall and freaking out almost like he’s trying to get away from her. No implication at all that he’s tempted.
When everyone starts screaming in pain, Michael is screaming in triumph. (Or at least he looked very triumphant, I don’t remember if he screamed lol)
Voices in My Head
Rich is in a wheelchair. Also he doesn't have a lisp.
Rich is wearing Michael’s glasses. When he starts asking about Michael, Michael shows up and takes his glasses back. I think Rich steals them back at some point too?
Michael acts a lil flirty with Rich - approximately "I'm sure you'll find something very special," then in a tiny high voice: “but not with meeeee…!” and he pushes Rich’s wheelchair so he rolls offstage jdsfkldsfkfd
At “Tell her that she excites you sexually” Rich does a little wheelie to (presumably) represent a pelvic thrust (all of these Rich moments were excellent I loved this Rich sm)
Christine’s squip was Taylor Swift this time!
At “I know the last thing I deserve is another shot, but…” He trails off and there’s a pause before “Just say what’s on your mind, Jeremy.” I know they get together obviously, but it felt like it could go either way! Maybe because it was live.
(And then they cccccome on lets go and do bows, in character i think, and it was amazing the end)
I was gonna write a TLDR here but honestly all of it was amazing and if you want the highlights it’s pretty much just the stuff I bolded!
Also end note the actors were all soooo nice and they let me ramble to them about jeremy for several minutes Q____Q it was amazing im so happy about this still I wish I got their signatures sjdlfkjdsfkdsf
I hope everyone gets to watch the show at some point but otherwise I hope this can be useful to someone!!
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Ok, so, in MGE (monster girl encyclopedia) there's a art eating fairy called a leanan sidhe (The picture is a lil weird but given fairies can look like anything they want it means there are more adult-looking fairies. tho its ok if you don't wanna do this.) they eat all kinds of art, but mostly masterpieces.
I would think, douma has many artists in his cult that do art of him. So imagine him walking into his room and then finding leanan sidhe! reader just noming on a piece of of a painting of him. i think it would be funny and cute
Oh my fucking god, I can imagine this stupid scenario too and I’m totally writing it! Douma finds it cute, fight me
Douma- Creamy Paint
Douma knew right away that you weren’t a normal woman, from the moment he indoctrinated into his beloved Eternal Paradise Cult. No, you definitely weren’t, you radiated such a odd aura as compared to the real humans he intrigued in, used his appealing charm all to lure in more walking dinners for him to devour but no. You aren’t human, he can’t eat you
That’s what made you ten times more interesting than any other follower he has ever produced
Douma had been following you regularly, wanting to pinpoint the real reason of why you’re just so strange but so fascinating that you seem to drag him towards you, mentally and physically. He is determined to know about you, who are you really like underneath that human disguise. It only took months for him to tear down that powerful iron wall of yours and uncover the truth behind you
You’re not a human… and you aren’t a demon. No, You’re a mythological monstrous entity, a fairy with extremely long hair laying flatly on the floor and the four crystal wings on your pretty back. Not just that, you had a extreme ravenous appetite for paintings… yes, you wanted to eat paintings and you did. You did it behind the entire cult and your beloved leader, Douma’s backs in order to not get caught
Douma was beyond shocked and bewildered at the sight before him. You, gnawing intensely on the half-torn painting canvas in which consisted of a very detailed and gorgeous painting of Douma himself. You knew of the painters Douma had enrolled into the cult and you also knee of all the painful hours the women spent producing these incredible art pieces but your hunger overtook your rationality and after the first bite, you came running in for more
And now… he has found out about your dirty little secret
Douma, after several seconds of painful silence and maintained eye contact with your gorgeous crystal-like eyes, balled into a extreme fit of laughter as he was truly amused by the fact you ate paintings and not normal food. Entering the room, he crouched down onto his knees to playfully pull the painting canvas inbetween your fangs. He wasn’t upset or disappointed
He was amused… so amused
“So. Does that painting of me taste good? I swear I wash my hair daily~”
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𝐀𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.
𝙼𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝! 𝙸𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚍𝚊 𝚄𝚛𝚢𝚞 𝚡 𝚏! 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
✦ I was chatting with my sis @the-witch-of-one-piece and a sudden idea came up because of those pics of young uryu always being carried around in arms and sleeping. So, I had to write a little scenario inspired on such scenes! Uryu is about to become a doctor and exhaustion hits him and reader is there to take care of him while he rests at least for a night... 💖 thank u to val val for the idea of the exams making him tired. i love u boo! 💖
✦ tw: Uryu is at least 26 y/o in the fic. Based in the last chapter of the manga. totally sft. if you want more of this story, just ask for it. I'd love to give him a little bit more of love since there isn't much around here.
“Hey, Ishida-kun… are you ok?” you ask; His slanted eyes become tiny as he can’t keep them open. “Huh? Oh yes, yes…” he mouths, with exhausted dark circles shining through the edge of his modern eyeglasses.
All of you look at him with a little concern. He didn’t want to miss the movie night you organized, but finals week is coming closer… and he is about to become a doctor.
You smile sweetly, as he forced himself to sit properly. It isn’t that late, but the warm cushions of your couch and the lights turned off for a movie, are lulling him to a so needed rest.
As the movie progresses, and, of course he couldn’t find it interesting, his lids close once and for all. The soft snoring by your side caught your attention, making you look at him with the corner of your eye. You didn’t want the guys, especially Ichigo and Renji to pick on him.
Little by little, you move closer to his body. That close, that if he were to loose balance he would fall on you. You don’t mind him falling asleep, much less on your shoulder.
And indeed, a few minutes after, his temple finally slide towards the crook of your neck. You could smell the scent of his freshly washed hair; you could see the way his eyebrow slightly twitches, and his cute cheek pressed against your arm.
You notice, also, the way his glasses seem to be bothering him. So, in silence, and absolutely delicately you take them off. “Inoue-san, please put these over the coffee table” you whisper to your sweet ginger friend.
As delicate as you, she took them in her hands and giving you a sincere smile, she turns around to hug his beloved, soon to be husband, to keep watching the tv screen. You could tell that look wasn’t simply because of how Uryu was cutely sleeping, but also because she knew something else.
Halfway there, the movie isn’t finished yet and he hasn’t moved a single millimetre from his initial position. However, you notice his arms hugging himself in clear signs of feeling cold. So, you ask Rukia to pass you one of the blankets you have on a basket next to the tv set.
She slides over Renji -who couldn’t help himself but slap her ass, making Ichigo to laugh like an idiot- and grabs it.
Of course, before giving it to you, she makes sure to pinch both guys cheeks with eyes promising to beat their asses outside.
You giggle, moving Uryu more towards you. Him, who usually avoids any type of physical contact, gets comfortable on you -more than what you could expect he would someday-. His left arm passes over your belly, and the cold tip of his pointy nose buries on your collar bone.
You froze for a moment, with the blanket on your hand and your eyes widened. Rukia does the same, while a smirk invades her face impossible to stop from showing. You blink, you don’t want nobody else to see such scene… especially your reaction. And quickly cover him -and you-
You skin reacts to the touch of his lips on your neck. He isn’t kissing you, but it feels almost as if he was. His black hair covers half of his cheeks, and the brilliance of the screen in front of you, dances in different colours, casting shadows on his sharp mandible.
You are sure this is the first time you see him without glasses, and for the same matter, peacefully sleeping… so close to you… on you. Almost as if he was hugging you.
At first you looked at him from time to time, but then, your eyes weren’t able to stick off his façade. From the way his eyelashes almost reached the apples of his cheeks, from the pale skin that barely shows a hint of his collar bone down his grey t-shirt.
You bite your lower lip, ignoring the rest of the world. You couldn’t resist his proximity… you simply can’t.
“Aight, let me help you. I will take him home” Ichigo says, coming closer to you, pulling you out of your reverie in which you wake him up and kiss him until the next morning.
“Kurosaki-kun, no… let him sleep” Orihime says, pulling from Ichigo’s arm to stop him from shaking his friend to wake him up.
Renji and Rukia have already understand exactly the reasons why Orihime stopped his lover from waking Uryu up. But the strawberry boy needed further explanation…
“Don’t worry, Kurosaki-kun. Let him sleep a little longer, he can stay home tonight” you whisper, you don’t want to wake him up. Nor him going away from you.
“But he-“ the substitute Shinigami wants to insist, when Rukia jumps to slap his neck. “Ichigo you are so slow, God. Let the poor guy sleep! Let’s go”
Nobody knows if he finally understood, but, in any case he started running after Kuchiki who has picked a fight with him.
As they leave, Orihime is the last one to go out. She makes sure the blanket covers both of you properly, and without saying much she smiles at you while taking her hand to her mouth. “Good night, (Name) ~” she says, closing the door of your apartment with utmost care not to make any sound.
And there you are. In complete dark, with your crush sleeping right over your shoulder, looking at a cushion that had been left abandoned in the middle of the floor. The soft argentum shine of the moon, filtering through the big glass door of your living room, being the only source of light… besides the shine of your eyes. Even if he doesn’t know, he is making you, for at least some time, the happiest person alive. And maybe, just by tonight, you chose to dream with the idea he is completely yours…
You get caught into the endless cycle of his chest slowly rising and going down, and after debating yourself for at least half an hour, you finally tuck some strands of hair behind his ear. Uryu finds himself so relaxed, he doesn’t even notice your hand touching his delicate face. He feels at ease.
And, even if your stomach would be full of butterflies, exhaustion finally hits you… or perhaps it is that, when you are next to the person you love, the one that’s meant to be, you feel a peace that lets every guard fall off… that let your body feel so secure.
Your head slowly falls to the side, resting on top of his. And a soft smile invades your lips as you finally fall asleep…
A prying eye finally opens. A blue one, that kinda sees everything behind a blurry filter. A mischievous smirk, very little, appears on his lips. He has indeed fallen asleep, but he is slightly awaken now.
Should he excuse himself and go back to his place? Or should he stay? He could, for at least tonight, allow himself to rest on the arms of his secret crush… right? And what we do asleep couldn’t be judged…
Uryu’s arms snake around your waist, pulling you towards his chest, being him the one to hold you now. Fixing the blanket so it totally covers your body, he caresses your cheek with his fingers.
There will be plenty of time to think of excuses by the time the sun is up, but for now, let’s go back to sleep…
✦ taglist: @stygianoir
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so. wembley.
Once I have finally gathered my wits the words did not want to stop coming. This rambling is long; apologies for that. And for the messed up tenses I hate tenses we only have one past tense why is English like this
No photos/videos yet, they are still not properly checked/deleted/edited by me.
It was. Unsurprisingly. One of the best days of my life. But also, I don't remember much from my life, so don't trust me on this one. (Kidding, it totally WAS one of the best days of my life). And uhh... I have a problem with processing events and emotions, so it still feels like I have seen it on a TV screen instead of, you know, actually, physically having been there? Idk how to explain that, I still have to convince my brain that I've been there. I feel detached from it completely. But!! I!! Have!! Been!! There!!
I woke up so early that foxes were still roaming the streets. Didn't talk much with people around me in the queue (hello anxiety), but they were lovely! I signed the blue flag for iii from me & Lia, got the sticker for Projekt Atlantic, received some bracelets, exchanged some bracelets, put some sea creatures tattoos on people (LIA I FORGOT TO GIVE YOU THE WHALE!!!), slept on a pavement, bought merch for myself and others (I've never had anyone to buy concert merch for before, it's such a nice feeling 🥺).
And queueing for so long was so fucking worth it! Third row, baby!! For the first time in the middle!! (Which was my downfall later, but the pre-show me was not aware of that just yet). I couldn't actually hear HEALTH that well, but I really liked their drummer, he was enjoying himself and his joy was contagious. (I've checked them later though and. Last album, my beloved.) During the break, well, you all know what was happening, I have been liveblogging everything (sorry about that <3). The moment someone in the crowd literally screeched when they saw the new masks on instagram was a blessing, I wouldn't have survived seeing them in new masks without a warning. Also, my blind ass would probably realise 3 songs in that they have different masks, I shit you not. Besides, it was super fun having a mental breakdown here on tumblr with y'all <3
When Espera entered the stage, everything else stopped being of any importance to me. I remember my first thought was "oh yeah, sure, the ladies are dressed up and moving like this and you expect me to focus on anything else that is happening on this stage?". And of course, my second thought was "I GOTTA TAKE PICTURES FOR DARYA". Naturally, I was trying to keep up with everything else anyway. I haven't seen ii all too well though and it makes me sad :( Alas. I've had a good vantage point for the ladies. Yeah. Brain went brrrrr every time I was looking at them. Where was I again-
I was still coughing at that time. I got a terrible coughing fit after literally 3 short screams during HEALTH and my idiot ass has left all the lozenges except one in the hotel room an hour before the door opening. I thought I would have to spend the rest of the night not singing along nor screaming and felt utterly heartbroken for a few minutes, but after my Holy Grail Lozenge (and a LOT of water from the venue's crew) my cough has abandoned me for the duration of the whole ritual (thank you, Sleep). Even though, when Sam told us that we have to sing, my only thought was "I CAN'T FUCKING SING EITHER, MATE". But I did. Oh, I so fucking did. I sung my lungs out and did not cough even ONCE.
But you know. I was exhausted, anxious, surrounded by strangers and had more sugar in my veins than red cells at that point, so I wasn't my best self. I really thought the karaoke was for shits and giggles at first. "Oh yeah, it's The Most Popular Song, let's see how it sounds when 10k people sing it without the singer's help!", you know. Thought it was for the recording the announcements warned us about. But then we sung Granite. Ohhhkay. And then The Love You Want - certainly not a song they would leave for an impropmtu singalong. It was then that I (belatedly) realised that yeah, something really was wrong and so my heart broke again. So many preparations! Their biggest gig so far! Even iii managed to be there! And something had to happen!! Specifically!! To Vessel!! Of all people!! That was just not fair. He totally didn't deserve this. But it's just life and its endless fucking bad surprises for everyone, huh.
I didn't have enough time to collect all the broken pieces of my heart from the sticky floor and mend them after this realisation, because after Vessel joined the singing for the last few lines of TLYW, he dropped to his knees in front of us crying and thanking everyone. That sight is now carved into my brain. This is when I realised the 3rd row was a mistake. The psychic damage it gave me is irrevocable. Do you have those moments that you will never forget? A few seconds of an (usually traumatic) experience that will haunt you forever, replaying in your mind like a broken record? It was a bit like this for me. It wasn't traumatic, mind you, but it was definitely something that made a permanent dent in my heart and a home in my brain. And I wouldn't change it anyway.
Another thing that made me think that I will just fall down and never get up was iii & iv's hug. It was. So full of love and reassurence. Idk, you could just feel that emitting from them, okay? I was standing there thinking "yeah sure, just fucking murder me tonight instead, okay. Should've kept staring at Espera only-". Ah yes. The ladies. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Where was I again-
The goosebumps when the whole venue yelled "they won't be missing you" during Nazareth, oh my fucking god. On my previous rituals, in way smaller venues, there's always been a handful of people screaming it. And everyone doing it? Unparalleled feeling. Bordering on the shrimp emotions scale.
The lights were spectacular. I cannot describe how amazing the light show was. I am sending a kiss to each and every light crew member.
Also, Vessel being more emotional during the ritual as a whole. The TLYW moment was the worst for me, but there were many others. (Ascensionism and Bloodsport stabbing me with a rusty knife the most.) I mean, who could've blamed him for the emotions, he would probably be very emotional even without the voice issues. Who wouldn't be!! It was a big night, after all. God, it must have been so difficult for him, I really, really fucking hope the love coming from his bandmates, crew and the crowd was enough to help him focus on the good parts of the evening only. And!! It wasn't even that bad!!! Sure, he lost his voice for a while, but once it was back you could!! Barely!! Hear!! The difference!! I have a whole new level of respect for Vessel because of that. And for staying onstage with us for the songs he couldn't sing. Didn't know I could respect him even more than I already did, but hey. Love being surprised like that. I have seen concerts where the singers were singing way worse live while being completely healthy. Like sure, you could notice he's not using so many uhh, how do you call this in English, vocal ornamentations??? and that his voice is strained, but it was still beautiful. Take care of your voice now though, dude, jfc. Thanks for the sacrifice, much appreciated, but TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL FUCKING FIND YOU- (kidding, kidding. or am i.) I also liked that he was leaving the more screamy moments in songs for us. Aiming the microphone at us, positive we'll have his back. Like yeah, yeah, other bands do that relatively often, but it's not something they usually do, you know.
I can't vouch for everyone in the crowd, but I sure as fuck did not have a SINGLE thought that the show sucks because of his voice issues. Like it didn't even occur to me. Honest to god. I was shocked when I saw on tumblr that people were leaving? Asking for a refund????????????? I was having the time of my life singing those songs. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, probably!! Who can say they karaoked whole 3 songs with the band playing for them live?? Your local karaoke bar could never. (Bonus points, you could hear Espera better bc of that! Yes, I know, you are not supposed to hear backing vocals too loud in general, I'm just saying it was nice hearing them, bc usually I hear them on recordings only.)
Yeah, sure I was disappointed after the show that there was no Euclid, but that's just me, a total whore for Euclid. It's a completely different thing than being a bitch who leaves halfway, because something out of the ordinary has been happening.
Anyways. I would like to wish all the crowdsurfers a very fuck you. Hope you will all step on a lego every day for the rest of your lives <3
Crowdsurfers and constant giving away of water (which I understand, it was terribly hot there and it was needed) were a bit distracting, I missed some things because of the commotion, the drum solo has been disrupted by me getting a (fortunately very light) kick in the mouth and DRUM SOLO IS SACRED. I HOPE THE CROWDSURFER WHO DECIDED TO GO UP IN THAT MOMENT WILL STEP ON 3 LEGOS DAILY. IT'S LITERALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE RITUAL FOR ME AND THEY HAVE RUINED IT. Thanks to another crowdsurfer, I missed the moment the band was throwing stuff into the crowd and I promised Lia I will catch a pick/drumstick for them!!!!!!! I've had a banner for this occassion and all!!!!! And!!!!! For the whole time things were flying from the scene!!!! I have been under someone's legs and ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Side note: Vessel was throwing away his rings. That's so fucking cool, ahh.
All in all, half of the things that happened there, I've learned from tumblr. The announcements about the recording, people leaving, Vessel being covered in runes (I WAS STANDING RIGHT BEFORE HIM AND DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING. A N Y T H I N G. I HATE BEING A BLIND IDIOT), the Espera ladies laughing at iii for not coming to the photo, hell, even Vessel trying to get his attention. I have NO idea what I've been doing back then, it's a blur again lmao. And. The most important thing: Vessel's "thank you". I didn't catch it back then. I don't hear it on my recording. Tbh I couldn't believe y'all for a long while that it really happened (I'm sorry). But it did and you know what? I'm glad the broken pieces of my heart were left on the arena's floor earlier during the show. I don't want them anymore.
I would also like to thank that one security guy in huge headphones who was our warning that another fucking crowdsurfer was coming our way. I hope the headphones guy's pillow is always cold on both sides, his skin clear, his crops- and so on. Our hero <3
There was also a moment during Atlantic (another important moment disrupted. Smh) where 2 security persons dived into the crowd?? I still have no idea what was happening, bc if someone faints for example, they are always brught to the barricade by the crowd and security picks them up, I've never seen security getting into the crowd before. And because of that, people around me were talking loudly during Atlantic. Kill kill murder kill
Still, Projekt Atlantic was a huge success and I am so proud of the organisers!! They're in the same category of lovely people as the big headphones security guy
Sending a kiss to @murderofcrow for this gif 🖤
To sum up. I will forever be grateful for this band. This music has activated the dormant parts of my mind. I am making art again. I am meeting cool people because of them. I have people to talk about it with who are as excited about it as I am. For the first time in ages I really feel alive again. And life is not good, far from it, to be completely honest with you, they haven't magically fixed all my problems, but I do have something that actually fucking works on me. I know Vessel wouldn't agree, but they are saving people. And you all, lovely ST pocket of tumblr motherfuckers who are reading this, you are saving people too.
And, last but not least!! In hot pink, because I can! Thanks to this ritual I could finally meet @vesselsscarlet and @thevenomousseprent in person!!!!!!!!! I love you guys, you are amazing and I can't wait to see you again 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 You've made me feel so loved that weekend and it's something I haven't felt in a while!!
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Ok ok I was wondering. What are the love languages of your ships? Redbomb or the band polycule. I feel like Osha love language is physical contact but I really can't see what it could be for those uglies messes called Trafalgar D Water Law and Buggy The Star Clown.
Love your work! ♥
Oooook now that's something I was starved to think about for a long time SO thank you so much (and thank you for loving my work!!! I'm glad that my completely delusional manic attacks aren't totally useless)
SO. FIRST. Easy one : Redbomb.
Let's evacuate the joke already their principal love language is throwing insults to each other and arguing and then fuck and repeating the cycle.
BUT more deeply : Buggy love language is mostly acts of service & gifts. It's kinda surprising at first because he obviously do it all over the top. AND he's pretty bad at it. Like, when Red get really sick, he spent hours in the kitchen making her what he thinks is the most comforting food ever. But you know, Blaze cooking skills were inherited from him, so she end with a plate full of Cheerios, smashed potatoes, cheddar and knackies (wait. Are knacki a thing outer UE?? those are really bad quality industrial sausages for the record), and her beloved husband looking at her all proud like "♥ 😁 I made that!!". And he spoils his kids with really outrageously expensive gifts. (Skye abuses it a little sometime)
Red' love language is mostly words of affirmation! Acts of service too but unlike buggy she's skilled with it. Her major flaw with that would be that she's offering acts of services even when people she loves don't act for them. Mommy style you know ? Wipping something on Rory's cheek with her thumb in front of his very first boyfriend.
For the record : Rory love language is he don't have any because he hates everyone act of services, Skye's is offering gifts & quality time, Blaze's is physical touch! (which can be dangerous with his devil fruit powers)
NOW. BRACE YOURSELF BECAUSE THIS IS GONNA BE HEAVY. The worst polycule of all time is entering the chat :
G.R.O.A.R LOVE LANGUAGE
I'll try to make it short because I could write a fucking THESIS about them SO. I think that they all have kinda different love languages according to which relationship we are talking about you see ? Like :
Osha x Law : Osha love language is physical touch (as in: big bear hugs that break his spine every time) and acts of service (as in: they make sure he eats, drink, and bring him to the vet like the injuried cat he is. Oh and they're also Law's biggest protector. Always saving his damsel in distress ass. On the other hand I FIRMLY believe that Law love language is quality times AND, for Osha, and only for Osha (and maybe a bit for Bepo - NOT A LAWBEPO ACCOUNT plz love language like for his best friend who is also a polar bear, which is pretty rad if you ask me, would a loser have a polar bear??) act of services. Quality time as in : he just loves spending lazy afternoon lying on their lap with a bong ranting about the stupidity of everyone around him. Act of services as in : one day Osha's bakery oven was broken and he replaced it as a surprise, without telling them anything. This kind of thing you see? They never really confessed and they totally deny they are dating but - come on. Guys. That's obvious.
Osha x Kidd : what's going on between them like - nobody knows. They are bad for each other. No. Kidd is bad for Osha. Are they dating. Are they like... friends? with benefits? but the benefit isn't sex??? Wtf. Anyways : their love language is physical touch and quality time, but not like for Osha x Law, more like: Shrek and fiona fighting in this clip
Law x Kidd : "AHAHAHA love language! as if we LOVED each other??? we fuck and that's all. Friend...ship? with this pathetic loser? URGH DON'T KIDDING ME" - anyway Law shows Kidd affection by quality time, and here quality time means "I'm not as unbearable as usual when I'm with you" while Kidd love language is... idk, bullying? physical touch but like slapping his back really hard and stuffing him in a locker? scruffing him and yelling "hey that's MY twink è_é I'm the only one allowed to hurt MY twink è_é"
KiddKiller *chief kiss* The only stable relationship in this polycule. Which means... a lot, look at them. ANYWAY - Kidd love language toward Killer is words of affirmations, like, it's canon, look at the anime. Look how he talks about him. "WHO DID THIS TO MY BUDDY?" aaaah *cry and sobb* (didn't get there in the anime yet but was totally spoiled this scene and I KNOW I'm gonna cry my ass out). But since Kidd has the vocabulary of a 14 y.o it's still complicated. "brooooo you're like peanut butter to my jam". AND of course Killer love languages are act of services (understand : following him everywhere and protecting his ass and being his only braincell).
LawKiller & OshaKiller aren't really a thing in this AU soooo we're gonna put them aside.
Also this post is already too long.
anyway THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK. ♥
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spot that meets a autistic reader, that is talkative to themselves, but has poor social skills because (lack of good parenting + bullys, but is very smart and loves art and engineering, and dreams to be a scientist one day.. it could began as the reader first feared him over an awkward moment? to opening up about themselves and the reader's obsessive fascination over him. two very talented ppl that only wants to be appreciated, respected and loved...💔
idk is it to much?? bruh I'm trying to be creative😭 I'd be happy with whatever happens!. aNd TaKe yO tiME!! On irl things and beloved spotty <3
Spot w/ an autistic reader!
Rubs my autistic little hands
Feeling a lil drowsy but I wanna chuck this out before I fall asleep for (possibly) the next 7 hours :3
Not proof read we die like Peter Parker <\\3 we are sleepy and tumblr wont let me save drafts for asks <\3
Obligatory "I like this character so I'm hcing him to be ND like me" touch
He gets it
Anyways
I think to help make the whole thing less jarring, or whatever, is that you may have known each other vaguely before the collider incident
You weren't a scientist at alchemax, more like.
Well shoot I just forgot the term but like, you work there, but you dont do hands on experiments, not experienced enough yet
Intern?
Maybe, idk
Obviously you don't work there anymore after the collider blowing up, so... you're looking for a new job
You knew about Jonathan, but you weren't friends
You had also heard rumors about what happened to him but you kinda dismissed it as cruel rumors surrounding his death.. I mean no one could've survived that explosion.. right?
So imagine your surprise when you end up almost getting robbed by spot
Can you blame him? He hasnt found another job since the accident and hes probably living off of pity handouts; likely homeless
Now hand over the wallet!!/j
No but on the semi likely chance that you manage to defuse the situation, given Spot sucks as a criminal, you just bluntly ask if the whole
Rumor thing is true
I mean obviously it is but confirmation is important
After a few more chance encounters, you guys both finally decide to properly sit down and talk
Its tense and awkward at first since 1. How does one even act around someone like spot? He's vulnerable but also trying to do the whole. Revenge thing... And 2. Hes desperate for human interaction and it SHOWS, it's almost uncomfortable actually
But you both trudge past it and make it work
One meet up turns into two then three; then you discover how much hes struggling and
Now you're roomates
Oh my god they were roommates/ref
Anyways, that's the set up!! It kinda felt wrong to just. Jump into it without some explanation on how yall end up in the same area consistently
Doesnt mind that you mumble to yourself, he probably does the same thing. From muttering things to keep his train of thought to having a personal monologue, I wholeheartedly believe he does the same thing
Hs understands how it feels to be. Not treated very good, he likely wasnt the most respected in alchemax so it's not uncommon for the two of you to have vent sessions where you both let it all out
You ask him about his journey to becoming a scientist and not so subtly ask for advice on how to get into the field; and touching onto the whole human interaction thing, hes more than willing to talk your ear off about his entire career history
On the chance you dont want to do physics stuff, and you wanna do another branch of science he's all ears on listening to you ramble, may even lend a hand in getting you to where you need to be career wise
Yall do at home experiments as bonding stuff
Look if spot can make a mini collider in some building then I can only imagine the type of shit yall get up to at home
Oh? You're still curious about.. him? Of all things, him?
He never thought anyone would look at him with interest; usually its disgust or fear, or both
Hes hesitant at first because what if you discover something that'll totally change your view of him?
Takes (some, a little) coaxing
Bro caves fast, he misses physical touch
"So like, these holes-" you proceed to just. Dip your entire fist into a hole and watch said fist pop out from another hole
The demons are telling me to make reader like
Make it a game to try to throw stuff through his holes but I feel like that would be really mean, no one likes stuff getting thrown at them
Please dont throw stuff through his holes :(
Random but like
Idk if this happens with yall but
If someone stims do yall. Like stim back
Like I have vocal stims and mess with my hands; and sometimes my friend will be prompted to stim if I stim??
Idk but yall do that
OHOH before I post this if you're both comfy with physical touch please please please hold him, it's been so so long since someone has hugged him and he really really needs it :(
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thanks for the tag @femininefreyanyctophile !!!
Name - costco. or drew or charlie or henry. depends on who you are to me.
Pronouns - gosh it changes. she/they/it currently
Favourite animal - bats are cool because of batman. but i like dogs a lot.
Last tv show you watched - its always sunny in philadelphia
Least favorite fruit - fucking pears
Last name - wholesale
Last videogame you played - sims 4 wowwoow
Your credit card details - https://rb.gy/auvjv8
How many stuffed animals do you have? - i have three on my bed right now but like 25 in total
Do you own a flag (if yes which one?) - aromantic flag babey. i also have a tiny
What is your ethnicity? - idk man
Name your address - https://rb.gy/j2v7y1
Would you rather die peacefully in the opposite gender or die painfully (physically/mentally) but in your preferred gender (doesn't affect lifespan)? - oh man. die peacefully i guess?
Are you stronger than average? - im on tumblr, do you really think i could be.
Do you own any firearms or weapons? - yeag!!!!!! knives my beloved :3 my babygirl is a brown wood lockback folding knife named karinka :333
Have you drunken alcohol? - nah
Would you say you have many friends? - yes?
Are you in a relationship? - two qprs 💪💪
At what times is no-one at your house? - during the day (i do homeschool) and my mother is at work
Do you have a spare key outside your home? (If yes where?) - check behind your ear bbg 🫢
How close is the nearest bus stop to your house? - not close lmao
What are your favorite passwords - i use ‘tue-toi’ a lot ^^
no pressure tags!!! (tagging the mutuals i dont know as well)
@bassguitarinablackt-shirt @gently-decaying-flowers @acewithobsessions @0ldsmans @khris0l0gy @cannibalistic-vampirefag @definitely-not-a-plant @rainnism @idoocommainfactcommalikedogs
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draco malfoy and bpd
warning: contemplation on borderline personality disorder. if this topic triggers you or you'd rather not read reflections from a non-therapist/non-psychiatrist, it's best to skip this.
since i no longer attempt to conceal the fact that for years i've projected my mental disorders onto beloved characters... what do you think about the idea that draco malfoy may have borderline personality disorder?
from the books, we know little about the dynamics within the malfoy family, but in the films, lucius was portrayed as quite an aggressive and strict father. this already gives me some basis to speculate that due to his narcissistic father, draco might be at risk.
(please don't take this post too seriously. i'm not an expert, i lack reliable data, so all of this is just my headcanons, theories, assumptions, fabrications... anything not claiming one hundred percent canon.)
usually, children with bpd have rather unstable relationships with their parents. one moment they love and adore you, and the next, you become the worst child in the world for them. you constantly have to be on guard and gauge the adults' moods to know how to fit in. we have lucius (evidently, an authoritative figure in draco's life) with impulsive behavior. he loves his son (during the battle of hogwarts, he was genuinely willing to risk his life to save draco), showers him with expensive gifts, indulges his whims (like securing a spot on the quidditch team), but at any moment, he can also harshly reprimand or publicly humiliate him.
years of such emotional/physical abuse can lead to the following reactions:
1) aggressive behavior leading to relationship problems (draco does indeed have anger issues; he often displays unjustified cruelty towards classmates; he has a sense of invincibility and impunity).
2) unstable emotional background and inadequate self-perception (this is my favorite! draco struggles with self-identification, he lacks his own opinion. he grew up in an environment of hatred towards muggle-born wizards, so everything he knew, said, and thought was instilled by his father).
3) high anxiety (the half-blood prince and the deathly hallows are direct proof. while most of his slytherin peers were resolutely against potter and never doubted the righteousness of their actions, draco tormented himself with thoughts and doubts. he teetered on the edge between psychopathy and stability. in one moment, he spoke of how much he wanted to leave hogwarts, how much he hated muggle-borns, but in the next, he suffered a panic attack, was unhealthy, couldn't continue living as if everything was fine).
4) total fear of solitude and a perpetual sense of boredom/emptiness (oh, remember all those moments when draco was never alone for a second, when after every joke he looked at his friends seeking approval? or how draco pursued harry and the golden trio for years just because he was bored? we know very little about draco's interests. even his interest in quidditch always seemed imposed, as if he became a seeker only to challenge harry. and again, the half-blood prince... draco looked unhealthy, cried in the girls' bathroom, and slowly lost his mind from the burden of solitude. his only company is the ghost of the girl from the bathroom).
5) dichotomous thinking and volatile mood, dividing the world only into "black and white" (muggle-borns must be eradicated!.. but can i really kill a person? i hate potter so much!.. but would i betray him to the dark lord?).
also, it's important to add that individuals with borderline personality disorder (bpd) experience frequent and sharp shifts in emotions. from adoration to complete devaluation, mere seconds can bridge the gap. in the first book, when harry rejected draco's offer of friendship, draco immediately eradicated any trace of friendliness or goodwill towards harry. it never even occurred to him to alter his behavior or extend an apology. if someone dared to offend him, that person was promptly expelled from his life. take, for instance, the case of severus snape. the moment lucius malfoy was incarcerated in azkaban, draco ceased to harbor affection for his teacher, gripped by a surge of jealousy. he concluded that snape was endeavoring to assume his father's role and become the new favorite of the dark lord, despite there being no grounds for such an assumption.
so yes, this is all i wanted to say. you may completely disagree with me, and that's okay. in any case, i just needed a reason to write down my thoughts somewhere.
peace and love to all!
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hi im so normal about p!scar (lying) so have some scarsage for the theme <33
scar wasn't used to physical touch. unless it was fists in battle, the feeling of fur and companionship of jellie, or the occasional hug of his old crew, touch wasn't something he encountered often. (distantly, he wonders how his old family is. he says they're dead, but he never claimed to be an honest man.)
enter: sausage. fellow kestrel, and a very affectionate man, who kisses people as easily as breathing.
it took a few days for scar's turn to have a kiss from sausage. it was a quick and gentle thing. a quick goodbye after hanging out for the better part of the day, and a good luck for his quest... and a subtle request to make sausage proud.
whereas most other kestrels are used to this sort of thing, scar decidedly is not. his face flushes, and his brain stutters, and he quickly realizes the following:
a. sausage is a good kisser
b. he would not mind being kissed by him again
c. he hopes next time isn't just a peck
he makes a dismissive comment, and quickly flees, sausage none the wiser of his internal dilemma- which isn't really even a dilemma and more like gay panic. its by the times he's out on see that he calms down and realizes that- oh. he totally has a crush, doesn't he? oh lord.
(meanwhile sausage personally found the red that bloomed on scar's cheeks when he kissed him adorable. he's definitely going to be kissing his fellow pirate more often- and if scar's fine with it, with less pure intentions.)
-tn (kisstrels and scar rarepairs my beloved <3)
Scar's seen the way Sausage gives out kisses, so he knows he can't think anything of it. Sausage always does that. Doesn't mean anything, nope! Scar will just have to deal with this stupid crush the good old way: cuddling with Jellie and eating far too many of Scott's dumplings.
He absolutely doesn't try and excel at this quest and make Sausage proud, because the kiss meant nothing. And the way Sausage grabs Scar's hands to pull him into a kiss when he gets back also means nothing.
Sausage takes Scar out drinking as a celebration of a job well done. Where Sausage would usually be flitting between people, Scar swears his fellow Kestrel's eyes never leave him.
At some point - after far too many drinks - Scar ends up in Sausage's lap. Sausage has an arm around him, bringing his tankard back and forth so they can both sip from it.
Scar thought it would be overwhelming, but... He finds he feels more whole than he has in a long time. Grounded, properly in his own body.
When he wakes the next morning, Sausage's arm over his chest, he fears the worst. Sausage is quick to reassure him as he wakes up. He wouldn't want to have sex with Scar when he's still drunk! No, they'll save that for when they can have a proper conversation.
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