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#oh my god. oh my fucking god. we get deans perception of 9 years ago now. PAIN AND SUFFERING. IM DEAD CODED SHIT
gayconfessioncas · 3 years
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I eat cheerios because they're heart healthy. and my heart has been severely damaged. so intothesilentland if you're out there-
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Wooo can’t believe i’m 20? Like that’s a thing now? 2 decades I’ve been on this Earth. How time flies... So in celebration of turning 20 I think I’m going to post 20 things that I like about myself and my life.
1. I actually really like my lips and smile. Only thing I’m super vain about.
2. I love my eyes as well. They’re a pretty hazel, greyish green and brown. 
3. I have got such a cute cat! Maggie is her name. She’s easily my most favourite thing about my life. She’s made me so happy.
4. I have two really awesome friends. One being @miss-stary-eyes, we met here on Tumblr years ago.. lost count of how many years, at least 4 years ago. We did a rp together, I remember it! I played Loki and she played an OC called Eona, and Loki was teaching her magic (and he of course fell in love with her). Ahh we’ve been through so much, my dear, and I’m so glad you’re in my life. The second, or really first friend (since I met her 8 years ago) is my dear best friend Laurena, who isn’t on Tumblr but she has always been there for me and her and I share so many amazing memories. Don’t know where I’d be without my two favourite girls!
5. I have a tongue piercing that I’m low key obsessed with? It’s such a great little fidget thing to distract me in stressful times. I just roll the top ball on the roof of my mouth or slip the bottom of the bar across my lips (not smacking against my teeth, that’d be dreadful)
6. My town in Animal Crossing is pretty damn gorgeous if I do say so myself. I’ve spent months working on it and it’s come out really nice. No way near finished, but it’s looking damn good.
7. I live almost entirely by myself. Between work and his fiance, my dad is rarely at home. So while he still pays for everything, I get to reap the rewards! I love being alone, and having an entire house to myself. FUCK WEARING PANTS.
8. I know how to knit, which is definitely a fun skill to have. I’ve knit myself two full sized blankets, and several dozen scarves. I’d love to learn to knit a jumper one day, that is my goal.
9. Ever since moving out of my mums place I’ve developed a really great relationship with my sister. I’m so thankful for that because her and I get along really great when we’re not in each others spaces.
10. I really applied myself these past two years and got 3 courses done. Certificate III in Tourism, another cert III in Travel, and then a diploma of travel and tourism! I’m so proud of myself for accomplishing these.
11. My room is currently my nerd station. I have several posters hanging up (my fave being my Iron Man poster, but I also love my Captain America poster that’s in the front room) and I have several other little nerdy knick knacks laying around. I love it, my little nerd paradise.
12. My hair grows pretty quickly! I had my hair cut super short at the start of the year, it was shaved on the sides and slightly shaggy on the top. Currently I have it pulled back in a loose ponytail, all of it tied back, and about 6 inches of hair in the pony!
13. I struggled with this.. but I finally got through my learning drivers licence and am now on my provisional. It took me 7 tries to pass my practical test, and luckily only one try to pass my hazard perception test. BUT IT’S DONE! I’m on the home stretch now. 2 years time and I’ll have my full licence booiiiiii
14. Ok, this is gonna get deep and borderline triggering. So I put it in the tags for trigger warning but this is your second warning. When I was 14, I tried to kill myself. Twice actually. First time I just cried and then got mad (at myself, at the doctors for helping me, at my mum). But the second time really shook me. The nurses were cool to me, the doctors didn’t seem to care, I knew I was wasting their time, resources, and energy because I did this on purpose, whereas there’s probably someone else who needs them more than me. I felt like a piece of shit after the second attempt and it really shook me to the core. It’s been 6 years since then.. Wow 6 years, that’s insane. I’m so proud of myself, I’ve made serious progress. I get a little depressed now and again, and I’m a little lonely. But I’m ok, I have things in my life that I’m so happy about, and things that have happened since my attempt that have made everything so worth it. It gets better, it truly does. 
15. I have got such a nice little book collection going on. I don’t read anymore, I wish I still did. I keep buying books to hopefully spark my old reading bug back to life. So I’ll probably have a huge bookshelf filled with books that I don’t read haha. Actually, that’s a lie. I do still read. Every year I re-read The Hobbit. It’s my favourite book and I love it with all my heart. I have a signed copy by Bombur and Bofur! James (Bofur) forgot to sign the book (I asked them to write a quote on top of the signature) and when I realised with Steven (Bombur) that James forgot to sign it I kinda just sighed and said oh well. But Steven said “oh nah, we’ll sort it.” -leans over and smacks James on the arm with the book- “Oi, ya egg, you forgot to sign it!” James laughed and apologised, and quickly signed it. That is a memory I will never forget, seeing Peter call James an egg and smacking him, it was the highlight of my comic con trip.
16. Speaking of comic con! I met another famous dwarf at a previous comic con. Dean O’Gorgeous, er I mean O’Gormon. I got a photo done with him and boiiiii I told him an awful joke to break the ice. Lemme share it with you. “Why does Gandalf walk funny?”  “I don’t know, why?” “Because he has crystal balls...” Yeahhhhhh I said that to him with a straight face and he did that forced laugh you do when a kid tells you a totally not funny joke but you gotta laugh because you don’t wanna hurt their feelings. Anyway that was awkward as fuck, so we took the photo and my god he was so warm like hoo boy like a furnace but yeah awkward as fuck don’t know why I told you guys because yikes I couldn’t get out of there fast enough hahaha.
17. My cousin, Hannah, sent me a little letter a few weeks ago completely out fo the blue. She said she missed me, and asked when I was coming back to NZ to visit, and if I could come to her birthday. Then she told me about her day and how her first year at school went. She’s 6! I can’t believe how old she’s gotten. I cried when I read the letter, it was so sweet. I wish I had the funds to go visit her and her brother, they’re definitely my favourite cousins out of the four (sorry Noah and Addi :P)
18. Oh boy, 18. Now for those who don’t know, in Australia the drinking age is 18. I went to my friends 18th party, which was a week before my 18th, and I basically celebrated my birthday as well. I got mighty drunk, and had a great time. I made some questionable decisions, but it’s ok, sometimes in life you gotta step outside your comfort zone/see what your drinking limit is before you’re giving a guy you just met a lap dance! But that night was actually lots of fun. It was a couple weeks before I moved out of mums place and traveled across the country to live with my dad. I was all kinds of stressed out, and feeling very sad to be leaving my mama. So that night was a huge relief to me. I got to just sit around with a bunch of great people while we idly drank and talked about stuff. And then I promptly peed myself which caused everyone to laugh their asses off and almost piss themselves. So yeah pretty fun and memorable night!
19. My dads fiance, Fiona, is honestly such an awesome person! They met earlier in the year, and are engaged now (they’re really in love and it’s so cute). She’s got a fat cat called Oscar and I LOVE HIM.
20. Ahh 20... 2 whole decades of life. I’ll admit, I don’t really think I have a whole lot to show for my 20 years. Lots of little things really. But I know I’ll make an impact on my life, probably next year. With dad getting married and moving in with her (she owns her house, dad rents his) I’ll definitely have to find my own place to stay. But it’s ok, it’ll all work itself out. I’ll make something of myself in the coming years. I’m not worried (ahaha I’ll keep saying that till I believe it) I’ve made it this far, and for that, I’m proud of myself.
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