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darklordofthesimp · 10 months

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Dissonance (Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Reader)

Part of the "Anything" verse but can be read as a standalone.

Summary: When a mission-gone-wrong leads to a confrontation, Ghost confesses the way that he feels.

A/N: Get a load of the fucking ART OH MY G O D

Category: Angst || Hurt/Comfort || Mutual Pining || Tension

Warnings: Graphic Language

Disclaimer: Sunshine is Gender Neutral as always, however I am looking to start showcasing fan art as the cover pieces on fics and it will always be up to the artists discretion to decide what they want their Sunshine/Saint/Birdy to look like.

Like the characters? Birdy Masterlist || Saint Masterlist

Such amazing Ghost x Sunshine fan art by @hiskonigin honestly leaves me breathless every single time I swear to God.

___

The mission had gone terribly wrong.

You felt like they always were, these days. Any task or deployment that started off well, started off controlled, they’d fall to pieces the second pressure was applied. It wasn’t all of them, though. Just enough that it had become noticeable to Price and the team. For the life of you, you couldn’t figure out the issue.

But, as you stood nose to nose with the Lieutenant in the shared kitchen, you were beginning to see the common denominator.

“I’m not doing this with you again, Riley,” you snapped. “I’m fucking sick of this conversation.”

Simon’s fists clenched by his side, “I say when this conversation is done, not you.”

Your eyes narrowed, grinding your teeth in an attempt to keep your mouth shut. You’d been warned by Price about your insubordination but the urge to risk it all was at an all-time high. Simon Riley was insufferable.

“Yes,” you ground out miserably, “Sir.”

The officer took a step toward you, unrest buzzing beneath his skin. You could feel the discourse running in his blood, you could sense the unreasonable rage that burned in his chest. You knew it because you knew him on a plane that nobody else would understand. You’d related to him. You’d experienced it all, too.

“You’re a fucking pain in my ass,” he snapped.

Yet… every time. Every time.

Rejection pinched your heart but the feeling was almost hollow. You’d been hurt by Simon so many times that you could almost say that you were numb to it. It’s not as though you were chasing his approval, it was that you were never going to earn it. You couldn’t get civility, you couldn’t get anything from him.

You were tired.

Things had changed, everything had changed since the incident. You’d been kidnapped, held ransom, beaten and battered, and then left to die in favour of your teammate. It was ironic that Simon had been the one to save you; it felt like he regretted it some days.

The fire that burned beneath the skin had dimmed and you felt out of place. There was only so much you could take and you could feel that breaking point creeping up on you. It was foul that you were treated with the same hostility as König, your only crime was being brought onto the team.

Your only crime was that you weren’t Birdy.

“Okay,” you rasped, nodding your head. “Noted. Am I dismissed?”

Simon took in a deep breath, eyes steady on yours. He didn’t waver and you knew that he had more to say. There was always more venom with Simon, quiet with others but angry with you. Always so angry.

“Dismissed.” Ghost confirmed. When you turned on your heel, the man spoke up from behind you. “First parade tomorrow is 0700 at the gym with Birdy and König for training.”

You whirled around as fast as you’d gone to leave. “Sorry?”

Simon barely blinked. “You heard me.”

“I have the day off tomorrow,” you snapped, “we all have the day off tomorrow.”

The officer only shook his head. “Learn to follow orders and you’ll earn a day off.”

Your chest burned, blood rushed to your head and you wanted nothing more than to just scream. You wanted to grip Simon by his stupid shoulders and shake him until that fucking mask fell from his face. You wanted to beat on his dumb fucking chest until you knocked some sense into him.

“I’m sick of this, Riley.” Your voice shook as you raised a finger. “I’m fucking sick of this.”

“Imagine how I feel, Sunshine,” the LT drawled, turning to leave like he hadn’t just ruined your night- like he ruins every night.

You couldn’t breathe. The sensation of being alone, of being rejected over and over by the people that are meant to be the closest to you. You’d never stopped experiencing that particular pain. From your parents to your first few units, and now, to this.

To the 141.

To Simon Riley.

“I won’t be there,” you rasped. The words escaped from between your lips before you could catch them. “I’m not going.”

Your Lieutenant shifted his body to face you again, eyes square on yours. You couldn’t care less about the murder in his eyes, you couldn’t care less about the chill drifting along your spine. You didn’t care about anything anymore.

If they wanted to treat you like some erroneous outsider, then you would act like one.

“What?” It was low, almost whispered, but you heard him loud and clear.

You glared up at him, moving forward until you were only inches from him. You could taste his unrest, the shift in his body language, you could almost hear him grit his teeth. You didn’t care. His upset meant nothing to you, he meant nothing to you.

“You heard me.” You dared him to do something. Anything. “I’m not doing shit for you people anymore. Especially you. I’m never doing anything for you again.”

“That’s what you’ve been asked,” he snapped, “your job and nothing else.”

“I’m trying!” You all but shrieked. You felt the tether to your calm demeanour beginning to slip from your fingers. “I’ve been doing nothing but trying and it’s never enough for you.”

Your lips trembled as you gasped for air. Adrenaline was rushing through your system and you prayed that he wouldn’t push you over the edge you teetered along. You felt the unfamiliar tingle along your nose and cheeks, the tell-tale signs of angry tears.

Don’t say anything, you begged internally.

But, if there was one thing Simon was good at it was disappointing you.

“If you have to try that hard then maybe you’re in the wrong place, Sunshine.”

Something inside you snapped.

Tension slingshotted from where it had been building in your chest and landed straight onto your tongue, tasting of venom and fury. Rage washed over you, tears spilling from your lashes as you pushed a finger into his chest.

“Maybe I am.” You finally admitted to your own fears but you wouldn’t be conceding peacefully. There was too much you had to say, too much spite poisoning your lungs to leave it there.

“Maybe this is the wrong fucking place,” you nodded, “because it’s just a fucking high school in here. Everyone’s fucking someone, everyone’s in love with someone and everyone hates someone.”

The LT said nothing as you pushed him hard, stepping back from the force beneath your palms.

“I can’t do anything right because I’m not Birdy,” your voice was warbled as you shouted, thick with tears and anger alike. “König can’t do anything right because of a mistake from the brass, Birdy can’t recover because they’re being babied, and you can’t be unbiased because you want to fuck Birdy!”

“What?” Simon hissed, but the word was lost on you. You hadn’t even heard him as you pushed him again and again. He let you shove him, let you gain ground on him until his back was pressed against the wall.

“And you!” Your voice cracked beneath the volume. “I’ve done everything for you, risked everything for you!”

“I never asked you-”

“You didn’t have to!” It was a sob. It was a confession.

Simon’s jaw fell slack from beneath his mask.

“I’d do anything for you,” you finally fell to a whisper. “We both know that.”

The man took in a shuddered breath from beneath your palms. He was pressed hard into the wall with your hands splayed across his chest as though readying yourself for another attack.

But then they fell slack.

Then they left his body completely.

He shivered at the loss.

“I hate you,” you took a step back, body shaking from emotional overload. You had so much more to say, so much hatred built up over the months. There was just no energy to deliver them anymore.

And, the more you thought about it, maybe it wasn’t hatred. Maybe it was just hurt.

The realization that you would never be loved, never be accepted- the understanding that you would never be the first choice. Always an afterthought, always a hindrance.

A self-sabotaging menace that no one could tolerate.

“You’re right. I don’t belong here.” You affirmed, sorrow forming a pit in your stomach as you finally came to understand. “But, I want you to know that you made this every inch as miserable as it’s been, you selfish cunt.”

The insult fell like a gavel between you.

You half expected Simon to yell. You almost wanted him to. A reaction would be better than the silence filling the small space between you both.

The air grew heavy with tension the longer the quiet continued. Your fingers twitched at your side, the understanding that this was the end of it all. The end of the farce that he’d put on in the hospital, the short pretence of caring.

You supposed people did crazy things when lives are at stake.

Maybe he only pitied you when he’d spoken those words, the sentence you’d been hanging onto for weeks.

“I would follow you anywhere. We both know it.”

The only thing that Simon followed you with was dissonance.

“Nothing?” Your voice cracked and wavered. “Got nothing to say?”

Simon didn’t move, didn’t say a word, he didn’t even blink. You supposed you’d been expecting too much. The man never gave you anything when you needed it, when you were desperate for a sign. His silence was infuriating.

“Yeah,” you said, wobbly and broken. “Of course, you don’t, you fucking coward. Never do when it matters.”

You took another step away from him, forcing yourself to detach from the situation. The longer you stayed the longer you craved a response, you felt like he owed it to you. But no one is entitled to anything and you sure as fuck weren’t about to let yourself fall into that mentality.

The man before you brought out the worst in you.

As you were readying yourself to turn around, Simon Riley finally spoke.

“Are you finished?”

Your jaw fell slack. “Excuse me?”

Ghost pushed himself off the wall, inches from you in what felt like a second. You could barely catch your breath at the sudden proximity, the overwhelming sense of being in his presence. The feeling of being on the back foot beneath him, rather than the one in control, was intoxicating.

“I said,” he repeated, stormy eyes bearing into yours, “Are you finished?”

Each word was enunciated, a pause in between that felt like a beat on your chest every time. You were, in all honesty, flabbergasted. There was no better way to put it.

You couldn’t even string together a sentence to come back at him with, really. The audacity that it took to reply to everything you had said with such an arrogant question made your blood simmer beneath your skin.

Simon took your silence as a confirmation that you were, in fact, finished.

“Can I talk now, Sunshine?” He growled, stepping closer into your space as if there were any more room for him to fit. You receded, feeling as though you were gasping for air that wasn’t tainted by the taste of him. “You gonna let me talk?”

You said nothing as he walked you backward, desperately wanting to dig your heels into the ground. When your back hit the wall you looked up at Simon with wide eyes, hands hovering over his chest.

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna talk now,” the LT deliberated mockingly, nodding his head as though he’d given you the choice. The sarcasm dropped from his tone when he spoke next. “You have no fucking clue, Sunshine. You’re a fuckin’ clueless idiot, is what you fuckin’ are.”

Tears burned in your eyes, collecting on your lash line against your will. Had he really trapped you against a wall just to shatter you further? Did he really hate you that much?

His gloved hands came to grip your own and you flinched away, the back of your head thudding against the drywall. Simon’s eyes narrowed, pressing your trembling fingers against the thin shirt covering his chest.

You could feel his heartbeat. To your shock, it wasn’t steady.

His heart was racing.

You met his gaze once more, watching as his eyes trailed the lone tear on your cheek.

“You’re an idiot.” He repeated but, this time, his voice was a whisper. “You have no fucking clue.”

You wanted to say something, anything. You wanted to believe what he implied, you wanted to hold onto it with the hope that you’d had so many times before.

Unfortunately, vague confessions and sweet nothings weren’t enough anymore.

Simon knew it, too.

“I can sit here correcting half the shit you’ve said,” he shook his head. “But I’m not gonna bother ‘cos I agree with you.”

Your heart dropped.

“Don’t look at me like that, let me finish.” Simon rasped, his fingers tightening against yours. “You’re right about it all, ‘bout it being a fuckin’ high school. König wants Birdy, Price wants Saint, Soap wants Gaz, and everyone’s a fucking bitchy cunt to someone on the team.”

You blinked at the last couple that he’d mentioned.

“But,” he shook his head, gaze heavy on your skin. “I’m not targeting you because I don’t think you belong. And I don't. Want. Birdy.”

You made a small noise, embarrassment burning flush along your neck. You cast your eyes to the side and took in a shuddering breath.

“I don’t give a fuck who you want-” You began, the lie falling shakily from your lips.

“Yes, you do.” Simon interrupted sharply. You looked up at him quickly, ready to defend yourself. “Because I give a fuck about who you want, too.”

“Why?” You blurted, heart thrashing in your chest when he shoots you a pointed glare.

“Come on, Sunshine, don’t play dumb.”

“Then don’t be a coward, Simon.”

The LT raised a brow, gripping your hands tightly at your words. The beating beneath your palms picked up in speed, reminiscent of a racehorse sprinting towards the finish line. You’d never have picked his anxiety if you were just watching him, those dead eyes unwavering.

Maybe, that was why he let you feel it… feel him.

He wanted you to know, he wanted to show you in the only way that he could- in the only way you would trust.

Simon Riley was laying himself bare.

“I give a fuck because,” he paused, loosing a shaky breath. He blinked, finally. Those blonde lashes fluttered as his eyes scoured the features of your face, building the courage to spill his honesty to you. “I give a fuck because I want you, Sunshine.”

There it was.

You were frozen, suspended in time with your hands on his chest and your face inches from his. The taste of his words lingered on your tongue as you took him in with every trembling breath.

“I give you a hard time,” Simon nodded, “I do. You put yourself in these fuckin’ situations to save me and I can’t do anything to protect you.”

And, as if someone had turned on the lights, everything suddenly became clear.

The time he’d been so furious that he barged into your room after a mission to berate you. “I could have lost you,” he’d said, “You would have died and it would have been on me.”

That shattering incident where you’d fought in the kitchen, “I don’t need you to save me!” Ghost had snapped, smacking your cup from the table. “I don’t need anything from you.”

And, of course, this mission. This whole debacle had started because you’d recovered him from an ambush.

“This whole time…” You rasped, “I thought you hated me.”

Simon scoffed, the sound bitter on his tongue. “No. I just hated the way I felt. The way I feel.”

You opened your mouth to speak, your fingers pressing into the skin of his chest. These months had you doubting yourself, had you wondering what you could have done so wrong to deserve this treatment. The embarrassment of wanting someone that couldn’t stand you was crippling.

But now… now as his eyes bore into yours, begging you to say something wordlessly. The way his body was on edge, waiting for your response, fearing your rejection. How could you be asked to articulate anything? How were you meant to formulate a sentence?

You wanted to tell him how you felt, you wanted to tell him everything.

You wanted him.

But the craving to put your hands on his skin, to taste his confession on his lips, to show him what he meant to you, it was overwhelming. You wanted him to understand how you felt in a way that he’d never doubt, in a way that would explain why you were constantly risking yourself for him.

You knew he understood when his hands moved to grip your waist.

“Oh, my God.”

You leapt away, your body thumping into the wall as the spell broke between yourself and the Lieutenant.

“Oh, my God!” Birdy said again, hands coming up to their eyes hesitantly as they stumbled back and forth in the doorway. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

You groaned, dropping your chin to your chest as you pinched the bridge of your nose.

“Relax,” Simon coughed, his fingers trailing along your skin until they fell by his sides again, slow and hesitant. “Just- We were debriefing.”

You could hear footsteps approaching from down the hall and the urge to throw yourself out the window grew exponentially. Out of all the times for these two idiots to make an appearance, they had to pick the most paramount moment. It was as though they were the main characters and you were simply a side-plot, cursed to never be able to develop further than the main story-line.

You glanced up at Ghost who offered you a similar expression, unimpressed.

König cast a shadow over the intruder as he rounded the corner to the kitchen, undoubtedly investigating the commotion. His eyes fell on Birdy first, watching as their hands came up and down from their face, unsure whether they were allowed to look. Then, jade eyes moved to observe Ghost who hadn’t moved from his position posted next to your flushed body.

“Oh…” König murmured, realization slowly dawning as he returned his gaze to Birdy. “Oh.”

Gigantic hands reached to gently but firmly tug on the back of the stumbling sniper’s shirt. He offered an apologetic wave as he began to drag Birdy from the room, the latter still sputtering embarrassed atonements.

“It’s okay,” you slipped out from your space between Simon and the wall. “I was just leaving anyway.”

You quickly moved towards the door, wiping away any remaining tears from your face roughly. Just as you reached the exit, you realized that you’d left the man hanging. What if he thought that you were rejecting him? What if he went back to hating you?

What if you missed your chance?

You paused, turning to look over your shoulder.

Simon was already watching you, eyes soft and his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall.

“Don’t worry,” he offered. “I’ll catch up, Sunshine.”

You hid your smile as you turned back around and continued.

You left the room embarrassed, sure. But, you also left with newfound hope and a promise.

You left with the promise of Simon Riley.

#simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #cod x reader #cod mw2 ghost #cod mw2 x reader #mw2 x reader #cod ghost #call of duty x reader #ghost call of duty #Call Of Duty MW2

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nonomives · 1 year

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Heeeey I think I got a better challenge or idea for you! Also I loved the filipense version of welcome home! 🤩 they all look stunning! How about a Circus AU for Welcome Home?

*DEEP FUCKING INHALES*

Oh my y. G O O D N E S S

hold on hold on hold on Omg ur so right hold on

Ok so excuse the fact that the picture looks like its been taken by a bank's security camera

Also some bits of a story i put together like last night while brainrotting over this concept

Smthn smthn, im gonna make Frank suffer angst hjgxwgsdjged

#aaaahahjvchvsjdv im gonna start answering asks now #so that i can clear up my inbox--#welcome home fanart #welcome home #welcome home arg #welcome home wally #wally darling #welcome home frank #frank frankly #welcome home julie #julie joyful #welcome home sally #sally starlight #welcome home poppy #poppy partrige #do people type all the tags for this??? because because boy it gets kinda tiring sometimes--#welcome home circus au #again this is so rushed jsbajbjdbknsf

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a-spes · 6 months

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T H E D O G ' S F A L L - One shot.

Words count - 5,2k.

Tags & Warnings - mob boss!Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader, angst, harm/comfort, manipulation, mentions of blood/past abuses, human trafficking.

Summary - Anyone that can beat her in a fight will earn her, and Natasha intends to be the one, working hard to get what she thinks is hers. A dog can't fight for eternity, can it?

Moodboard here.

N/A - It's the longest os I've wrote so far, took me a lot of time but it's enventually here so I really hope you'll enjoy it! If it's the case, don't hesitate to let me know by interacting with the post :)

It is at the back of that popular night club that everything is happening, where no one can see your distress except the one that enjoys it, where everyone is too busy having fun to pay attention to the veritable purpose of this building. On a dark corner that light never reaches, a man is guarding the most important secret of that place, and very few are the people he lets through; only rich and influential men and women get their ticket for this special spectacle that takes place here every night.

Down there, the loud music is replaced by the shouts of excited men that makes her sigh; why do they have to scream like animals? If she gets a few glances, no one dares to say anything as the infamous Black Widow is walking through the crowd to get to her place. She has blood on her back, people are whispering, some from admiration, others from fear, but no one stays indifferent - how could they? One of the most important mafia bosses of the city, but also one of the most discreet, is here. She has her reputation and, even if she is rarely seen, she is well-known, so none of the men dares to protest when she decides to take place in their lodge, chasing them out of the room.

From here, she has a perfect view of the cage and, most importantly, of the Dog.

It is obvious that there is no way out of the ring, that you are trapped in that cage until one of these men’s victory - or your last breath - but, somehow, you still believe that defeating them will lead you out of that basement. So, not caring about how many of them are daring to step in your cage, you beat them, one by one. You watch the man you just defeated being escorted out of the cage so the next one could take his place - it gives you a few seconds to catch your breath.

The world is spinning, you can’t even see the faces of your opponents, but you don’t give up. Even if the only thing you want is to curl up in the corner, crying for your mom, you can’t. You can’t because it will mean giving them your life. No, you need to be stronger than them, to pretend that you don’t feel the pain inflicted by their blows, to pretend that you are not bothered by the metallic taste of the blood in your mouth, they need to believe you could do that all night. But you are not foolish and you know damn well that you won’t last long.

It is hard to focus on anything, even on breathing, because you are overwhelmed by a crew you can't even see, blinded by the lights; you are the spectacle. They all came to see the Dog fighting, hoping to witness its fall. They are shouting, mostly insults in Russian, whistling and clapping everytime something exciting is happening during a fight, but it won’t be enough to save you from that place.

Oh, at first, they were cheering for you, but it slowly changed, people getting tired of seeing your pretty face every night. They thought you would be easy to break and hated to be proven wrong, and you perfectly know that the stakes have changed. It is no longer about giving them what they want, entertainment, it is purely about surviving and you noticed how the attitude of your opponents changed over the weeks, becoming more aggressive.

You were a champion, now you are just a little bitch they need to get rid of.

The organization that threw you in that rat hole understood that as much as you did and, tonight, they changed the rules. Tonight, it'll be only you against the world, until they are tired of it. No break, no help, everytime one leaves, the next one is already stepping in the ring, as an endless torture.

Tonight, she will be one of them. She has been looking at you hungrily since the first time she came here, and she knows that you will be hers by the end of the night, after all she came just for that, to take you home.

Even if she is here every night, you never had a chance to notice the woman. She was always sitting in the last row, observing you from her balcony, where she is hidden by the shadow, but she noticed you for sure. The time she came, it was only because of one of her associates that wanted to meet here specifically, she never left since. From the moment her eyes landed on you, she was unable to think about anything else, the way you were looking so innocent but so feroce at the same time got her heart.

She sent a few of her best men, knowing they would lose, as a test, waiting for the moment it would be her turn to enter the cage. She never expected them to win and she would have killed them if they had the audacity to: she is the one that is supposed to defeat you, the only one that has the right to own you. The urge to possess you only grew stronger over the weeks, being deeper every time she came here, she wants to see you as you are breaking under her effect, to control every aspect of your life.

So she patiently waited for the right time to come, she always liked a bit of challenge anyway, having a soft spot for things that are hard to get. She worked hard to get you, spending weeks observing every of your movements: she learned how you are fighting and your habits, she learned to read your body and face as if she was on your mind, and that’s the difference with the others: if you are a game for them, for her, you are a goal she must reach at all costs.

As soon as your eyes laid on her, you knew she wouldn’t back up, somehing in the way she stepped in the cage already made all the difference. It is her confidence. It is the smirk on her face, a cocky one. It is the way her hands are stuck in her pockets while she is observing you. It is the slight sigh as she gets rid of her leather jacket. It is all these details that give the impression that she is just here to settle a formality, already certain of her victory.

Even the way she is moving has something unrealist. Every step, every look, is calculated and almost imperceptible. Usually, you would step forward, ready to fight even before they entered the cage to show them you are not afraid, but this time? You can’t help but instinctively step back when she enters. The movement was slight, as you were already leaning the grid but she noticed it, the way her aura is pressuring you, and she loves it.

As soon as the door was closed, your fate was sealed.

It all happened really fast because she knew exactly what to do, she prepared for that moment. You quickly realized that you were right: the woman had nothing in common with the men you were fighting against earlier, you never stood a chance to win that fight. The realization is more painful than the blows she is currently throwing at you. Every punch you try to land, she knows exactly how to dodge it. As if she was on your mind, she knows exactly where to hit to get you weak, stealing your breath and your strenght, having you on your knees then laying on the floor in less than a few minutes.

At first, you tried to get up, to fight, but she is faster than you are, and wiser, and stronger, and more trained. She is being pretty much better in everything. Soon your vision is so blurry that you can’t see anything, you are feeling so weak that even moving your fingers or keeping your eyes open is just too much.

"Stay still,” she quietly ordered when she noticed you were struggling against her grip - she had you pinned down on the ground by pressing her foot on your back and grabbed your hair to lift a bit your head. "You're going to be mine no matter what, so don't make things harder for yourself, honey."

One.

Two.

Three.

You hear the countdown but, this time, it is not your victory that is announced, it is hers. As soon as her name is shouted by the crew, her grip releases your hair but you simply don't have the strength to move, the news leaves a void in your chest. The pain, but mostly this feeling of emptiness, is keeping you frozen in place. She owns you, and this simple idea is sending shivers through your whole body. You don't realize yet what is happening, thinking that, maybe, it is just a cruel joke on you, and it explains the lack of reaction when she asks you to get up; she needs to grab your arm and lift to get you on your feet.

You stumble, fighting the urge to vomit. Your brain can barely process what is happening, especially when you realize that your feet are not touching the ground anymore. In her arms, you are nothing more than a rag doll, silent and motionless, barely having the energy to keep your eyes open.

"She is not for sale,” she coldly said, her voice bringing you back to reality. As she was on her way to get out of the night club, some men were offering the woman outrageous amounts of money in the hope of getting you, they all backed up once she coldly glanced at them. "No one will ever take you away from me, do you hear that, love? You are safe as long as you’re with me," she then whispered in your ears.

You drift into unconsciousness as soon as the car starts, despite the woman that kept begging you to keep your eyes open, the way she was cadling you not helping. You just had enough time to notice the men sitting at the front of the black van, both armed and intimidating, before falling into darkness.

You opened your eyes again when the car stopped in an alley. It is late, the sun gave its throne to the moon a long time ago and, even if you can't tell what time it is, you know it is the middle of the night. How many hours did you spend down there, fighting for your life? The question makes you sick because the only answer is too many. All these hours for nothing because, no matter how hard you triee, you loose. You were never supposed to win their twisted game, you never got a chance and you slowly realize that the promised freedom was just a lure. For weeks you believed them, you played along their rules, thinking it was the only way to get your life back.

And here you are, in the arms of your new owner, a woman you know nothing about but that now has every rights on you, even if you will live depends exclusively on the redhead's choices. The fear twists your stomach, the humiliation clenches your throat and the exhaustion makes your eyes burning, tears threatening to roll down your cheeks.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, you repeat in your head, but you don't know for how long you will be able to keep your tears for yourself.

The woman is not looking at you at all, she is concentrating on not falling as she is walking to the house, barely seeing where her feet are landing. You, however, can't help but observe every detail of her face, noticing how serious her expression is. You are trying to guess how your life is going to be by her side, but you can't, she is a complete mystery and you hate that.

A part of you wants to go back in that basement. It may have been a living hell, but you had your habits, you knew how to survive, now you will have to learn everything again.

You notice that two armed persons are guarding the front door and, when you pass by them, they exchange a few words in Russian. You can't understand a word of what they are saying, but you guess they are greeting the woman, beside some insults, you don't know a lot and only because that's how they used to call you.

The inside of the penthouse is exactly as you imagined it: expensive, tidy and minimalist. You never felt comfortable in that kind of environment, it always reminded you that you will never have a place in that sphere, you are nothing more than their animal, a dog that does everything they want.

Once inside, you almost expected her to drop you on the floor but she didn't. Her grip is strong, as if she doesn't want to let you go, that's because she is scared too. She exchanged a few words in Russian with a woman before heading upstairs.

Your eyes closed because of the light, you don't see much more of the house, nor of where you are going. You can feel that she climbs the stairs, takes a few turns and walks through a door before she eventually lets you go. It is with care that she sits you on the floor of the bathroom.

"Here we are," she whispered, "you can open your eyes, love," she added when she noticed they were still closed. If you can't see her smile, you can feel her hand brushing your cheek.

For weeks you didn't see anything else than pitch darkness and the dimmed light of the basement where you were fighting, it is great to eventually be able to see something else. She even made sure to not turn the big light on, only a small one in the corner that diffuses a subdued light. Somehow, she knows exactly what to do to make you feel comfortable.

"Let me help you," she said, coming closer to kneel in front of you when she realized you couldn't take your bath alone.

On the way home, she sent a message for one of her maids to run a bath for you to enjoy when you arrived. The mirrors fog up and a scent of jasmine fills the room, but even if the idea of taking a bath sounds good, you don't move. You are curled at the exact place she left you in, your knees against your chest.

You are like a dog, but nothing like a fighting one, she thought when she saw how you tried to back up when she reached for your shirt.

"I am not going to do anything," she quietly said, trying to sooth you by using a gentle tone and caressing your cheek with her thumb. "I am going to help you to get rid of those rags so you can get a bath, okay? Then, we can clean your wounds and have a good meal, does this sound good?" she asked and you slowly nodded.

She helps you to get rid of your clothes that are closer to rags honestly as they have holes in them, the fabric being soaked in dirt, blood and sweat, sticking to your skin. You never felt so vulnerable than right now, under her serious gaze, what is she thinking about? It is impossible to guess but you can feel her eyes on your body as she looks you up and down. A quick glance which allows her to take a mental note about all your injuries.

"What are you doing?" she chuckled, when her eyes didn’t land on your chest but on your crossed arms - you were trying to hide, how cute. "How silly you are,” she whispered when noticing you didn't seem to understand what she was talking about, "thinking you can hide like that."

Her tone sounded too sweet for it to genuinely be and there is something behind her gentle tone that is rigging alarms in your head. You can't tell what it is exactly, but there is that weird feeling, your instinct screaming at you to be careful when your body just wants to give up and be in her arms, ‘cause what could go wrong?

She takes your hands to pull them away from your chest so you can’t hide from her anymore. Her grip is firm, just a little too strong so you understand that, despite her sweet smile, she won't hesitate to be harsh with you if you don’t behave. However, she still seems to be extra careful while moving you, as if you were a porcelain doll, because for nothing in the world she would hurt her fragile princess. She slowly takes your arms away so she can give a glance at all your injuries. What she sees makes her sigh, she seems about to say something but keeps her words for herself ; you should have been more careful.

She helped you to get in the bath and it was a nice moment, a few minutes you got for yourself because, surprisingly, she let you bathe yourself alone. Oh, she wasn’t far away, just at the other end of the room, keeping a close eye on you at every time, but dealing with something on her phone. She would occasionally comment on the way you were doing things, talking you throught it so you can shower the proper way, her way. Once you are done, she wraps you on a soft towel, bandages your wounds and gives you clothes that are hers, a hoodie and a short, and you can’t help but notice how good they are smelling, how comfortable you are feeling in these.

"Did you say something?" she genuinely asked, turning to you because she was sure she heard you mumbling a few words.

She was talking about your life here, talking almost alone as you weren’t really talkative, but thinking she would miss the words you whisepered was a mistake because she never misses anything.

"Nothing important," you replied, but this answer doesn't seem to please the woman, something twitching in her eyes, coming from soft to sharp.

"When I ask you a question, you reply to it, am I clear?” she said, immediately leaving what she was doing to come close to you and grab your chin. “You are not the one that gets to decide what’s important, your small brain can't handle big decisions and that's why I am here. I mean, see how it got you to be by yourself …" she continued, looking at you with disdain, as if she was thinking that it is only your fault if you ended up in that rat hole, caught in human trafficking. “I am here to give you a second chance and you better take it ‘cause it may be the last… so don't talk to me like that ever again, did I make myself clear enough?"

The only answer you are able to give her is a whining accompanied by a sniffle and she obviously doesn’t like that. Even if you tried your hardest to not let those tears rolling down your cheeks, you can’t help it, her harsh words only making things worse because you are already hating to disapoint the woman.

"If I knew you would cry, I would've sold you ..", she sighed in annoyance, her nails digging into your skin, "I hate cry-babies, understand?" she asked, but it wasn’t not a question: it was a warning. "The fighter I saw in that ring must be here when I am back," she coldly added before releasing the pressure she was exerting on your face.

She leaves, slamming the door shut so you easily understand that she is upset with you reacting that way. She has done everything she could in order to help you to be comfortable here : she gave you a bath and clothes, cleaned your wounds, promised you a meal and a bed, even gave you comfort but it still doesn't seem to be enough because you were crying as if she was some sort of monster, and she can't bear that vision. She tried to repeat to herself that you are just tired, that things are going to get better with time but it doesn’t calm her down. Whether you want it or not, she will make sure that, one way or another, you will accept her and she won't hesitate to use the hard way if she has to.

When she comes back, she notices that didn't move an inch, scared by what the woman could say and impressed by the bedroom. But it didn’t prevent your eyes from wandering around the room. It is really minimalist, there is nothing that could give you a hint about the person she is, everything is exactly where it should be, not a speck of dust and no personal objects. It feels like a hotel room more than hers.

When you hear the door, your gaze settles on the woman. Your knees are bent against your chest as if it could protect you from all the dangers of the world. She probably left you for only five minutes, but they felt like hours. Your thoughts had time to run while waiting for her : what about trying to escape? But it never worked, it’s always a dead end, a path to regrets because they always find you, making sure you won’t even think about doing it again and, if they do not find you, it's someone else. You learned that there is no escape and gave up on going back to your old life a long time ago. It is not even the fear of the armed men that is keeping you here, it's the void in you when you think about what you would do if you were free again, nothing. Nothing because you forgot how to live on your own. So you didn't move, not even a finger because she didn't ask you to do it, only being a dog that lives for its masters' will.

But what piques your curiosity is more the tray in her hands than anything else. As soon as she enters the room, closing the door behind her with her foot, a pleasant smell spreads through the room. You can see many things on the tray she brought back : a glass of water, some pills, a bowl of steaming soup with bread and a plate with rice, vegetables and chicken. When was the last time you ate a real meal? Long enough for you to not remember what it was.

"Eat." she said as she put the tray on your knees.

It smells good. That's the first thought that crossed your mind when you saw the plate. For a moment, you forget about the past hours; when was the last time you got a real meal? You can't remember, not even a fragment of a memory.

You would eat what your owners give you, eat quickly before they come back, never knowing what you are eating nor when the next meal would be; you learned to not ask too many questions. At first, it was difficult to accept such a fate: you would refuse to even taste the food they were giving to you, but it didn't last long. Eventually, you started to eat - inhale - anything you were given without thinking twice about it.

Tonight, for the first time in years, you are going to eat something else than the leftovers of someone you don't even know. Tonight, you won't have to be scared about your food being stolen. Tonight, you can even see the smoke, a sign that your meal is still hot, freshly cooked and maybe homemade.

"I-," you started, but she didn't let you finish your sentence, your lips barely had time to move that she already cut you, leaving no place for an argument.

I am not hungry, you were about to say, and she somehow knew it. She also knew it was a lie, your stomach has been painfully twisted because of that sick feeling for days, but the knot is also caused by your fears.

It all feels a bit too perfect. It feels like a trap, a way to encourage you to let your guard down only to break you after, making the fall harder. Some did that in the past, why not her? She doesn't look less cruel than the others. Yet, when she is talking, she seems more genuine, you could believe her when she says she only wants what's best for you, that she cares, she just has a twisted way to show it.

"Yes, you are, so eat, now," she ordered you with such a cold tone that you don't dare to argue. There are all these warnings she doesn't say out loud but you can read in her eyes: just do whatever I tell you, pretty girl, they say.

And, for sure, you don't want to face the consequences of your insubordination. So you slowly take the fork, not glancing away for one second, your eyes into hers. You are looking at every detail of her expression as if it would change, telling you that it is a trap, except it doesn't and her expression stays stern. It is impossible to read anything on her face, not even a hint of how she is feeling.

You take the first bit, carefully swallowing and… nothing happens. You don't feel weird, it doesn't taste bad and she doesn't snap at you for a small imaginary mistake you would have made. It is the complete opposite. The food is really good, melting on your tongue, and you start to eat quickly, not because you have to, but because you want to. For the first time in years, eating is a pleasure.

She sighed when she noticed that you were inhaling your food, but she didn't say anything; she will have all the time later to change that habit of you. So she just stood there for a few seconds, observing you in silence, with her arms crossed, before sitting next to you - that's when you broke eye contact, once she was sure you would eat everything.

As you are eating, she is barely paying attention to you, at least that's the impression she is giving. One of her arms wrapped around your shoulder, her hand is absently drawing circles on your skin while she is on her phone, dealing with something serious - you can hear her frustrated sighs from time to time.

Except she sees everything and your mistake was to not be careful enough around the woman. A little because of your clumsiness, mainly because of how fast you were eating, you dropped a bit of your food on the floor. You didn't think it was a big deal, picking it up to put it back on the plate. Three seconds rules, dropped on a clean floor, you don't have very high standards anyway - but she does. She turned to you the moment she felt you were moving, a curious, but disgusted, look on her face.

"What are you doing?" She asked, her hand grabbing your wrist before you could drop the bit of food on your plate. She moves your hand on the side of the tray, far from your plate, before you even get a chance to reply. "Drop it," she ordered to you, "that's gross, hope you weren't going to eat that."

You shake your head, too scared to do anything else, but she knows you are lying; of course you were about to eat it. You spent the past years living like a fighting dog, you would eat anything she would give you, you might even eat directly from the dirty floor if she asked you to. She winces in disgust, not letting your hand go.

"Give me that," she snarled and you can feel how her grip tightened on your wrist to force you to give the fork away.

She then takes the tray that was in front of you to put it on her side of the bed, you are looking at her, scared she would definitely take your meal away. You are about to protest when she notices it and glances at you, daring you to say a word, you don't.

"Come here," she said, gesturing you to come closer, she even grabbed your arm to guide you when she noticed you were hesitant to move.

She sits you between her legs and you are clearly uncomfortable, wiggling, but if she notices it, she doesn't seem to care. She is so close to you that you can feel her breath tickling your skin, but she keeps acting like nothing is weird here. When she leans to cut your food, you can feel her chest pressing against your back, the contact making your heart races. Too focused on how close you are to the woman, you barely noticed when she approached the fork from your mouth, waiting for you to open. It takes one more second for you to understand what she is waiting for and, when you do, you blush in embarrassment. She takes advantage of you opening your mouth to say something to feed you, and you don't dare to push her away.

"Can't even eat alone, hm?" she whispered in your ear while you were chewing the bit of food she just gave you, "but that's fine, I am here now," she added, and there is something in her tone that makes you shiver.

Once she made sure you ate everything, she wrapped her arms around you, laying a kiss on your temple. It is strange how safe you are feeling in her embrace: for a few seconds you forget she is the one that beat you earlier. Right now, she is just someone that cares for you, with whom you feel at peace. You can't remember the last time someone made you feel that way, you can barely remember your life before entering the human trafficking circuit.

You don’t really know when you fell asleep, but your eyes were quick to close under the effects of her fingers running on your hair and of her voice whispering sweet words in your ears. At some point, a maid came to take the empty tray away and the woman layed the both of you in the bed, under the covers, trying her best to not wake you up. This night, you slept in a comfy bed, feeling protected in the arms of the woman despite the things she did, not even thinking one second about pushing away her hands that found their way under your sweatshirt, resting on your stomach.

The Dog fell right into the Black Widow’s web.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #mob boss natasha romanoff #reader insert #mcu women #mcu fanfiction #angst #angst with comfort

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crappymixtape · 1 year

Text

laugh like lovers, kiss like friends

you're getting married – steve’s in town for the ceremony and it dredges up old memories, ones you thought you'd forgotten, but you have to decide, will you say ‘i do’ or will your heart realize what you really want has been there all along? | ( 9.1k, angst, fluff, friends to lovers, steve x you, steve x reader )

L A U G H L I K E L O V E R S, K I S S L I K E F R I E N D S 🎶 cold water swimming, quiet houses

“How about these, dear? Eucalyptus pairs lovely with peonies. Besides, wildflowers for a wedding? In all my years as a planner I’ve never seen it. No one does it. It's just tacky, hon.”

Twirling the stem of a daisy between your fingers you bit the inside of your cheek, only half hearing the woman standing next to you among all the buckets and vases of flowers in the greenhouse.

Wildflowers for a wedding? No one does it.

Pulling your eyes off the daisy you forced a smile, “Of course, I’m sorry. Peonies sound great.”

“Wonderful, I’ll add it to the day-of agenda and make sure the florist knows you’ve made up your mind. It’s an excellent choice, one your fiance will be happy with I’m sure.”

Your fiance.

Sam proposed less than a month ago in the kitchen of your little downtown Indianapolis apartment with his grandmother’s ring. A huge, gaudy diamond that made your hands look even smaller than they already were and after you’d called your mom the news had spread like wildfire.

Sam didn’t want to wait, he probably would’ve dragged you down to the courthouse if it hadn’t been for his parents and your mom, but it meant things were moving at the speed of light and you were running to catch up.

When he’d looked up at you, ring box outstretched, you knew what your first thought should’ve been. Tears and overwhelming joy and a resounding Yes! but none of it came. Instead your first thought had been long stalks of grass. The glittering turquoise water of the quarry. Skunky weed and wildflowers and hot, sticky Indiana summers.

Steve.

“Babe, you gotta call the bakery back, the lady doesn’t get it. Idiot,” Sam’s voice cut through into your thoughts and you blinked them away.

“What?”

“The cake? She’s not getting it. I told her we wanted vanilla, like actual vanilla not that imitation shit.”

“Julie’s not an idiot,” your tone grew clipped, short, brow furrowing as you folded your arms across your chest. Julie had lived in Hawkins since before your family moved in across the street from her. The only, and best, bakery in town with the sweetest baker known to man. Julie was a saint.

“Okay, well then you try and explain it to her. I’m done,” Sam huffed, pinching his nose between his fingers and shaking his head. “I’m gonna go get food with my mom. Can’t wait until this is all over,” he grumbled under his breath. “I’ll see you back at the house," and with that he hastily pressed a kiss to your forehead before stalking out of the greenhouse.

“Not really a man’s arena is it,” the planner said giving you an overly sweet smile, “Better to let us take care of it, hm?”

“I guess,” you couldn’t bear to force another smile, “Thanks for your help, but I need to go get ready for tonight. Call me if anything else comes up.”

“On it and don’t you worry, only a few more days. Just think! The happiest day of your life!”

The happiest day of your life.

It sure as hell didn’t didn’t it feel like it.

The high vaulted ceilings in your parents’ living room looked the same as they had when you lived there. Same ugly, bumpy texture and yellowed color, now with a few too-high cobwebs just out of reach hanging in the corners.

The buzz of conversation filling the air around you was incessant, blending and blurring together and making you feel like you were far away. Like you were a spectator and not the bride-to-be and your chest squeezed with nerves. There were so many people packed into the house and as guests hurled their questions at you, your anxiety only grew.

“Oh, sweetie you look amazing! You’ll be a beautiful bride!” “Tell me again, where are you going for your honeymoon?” “Sam is such a catch, does he have any available friends? Just kidding! But seriously?” “Oh my god, look at that ring! He must really love you.”

One of Sam’s cousins had been hammering you with question after question, barely giving you any room to reply and you felt like you were drowning in it. The walls of the living room suddenly felt like they were closing in on you, making you feel claustrophobic and you needed air. Outside. Anything other than this. “Is-is it warm in here?” you stuttered, pulling at the collar of your dress.

“No? What d’you mean–”

“I’m sorry, excuse me,” you didn’t wait for her to finish and instead moved as quickly as you could through the crowd, trying not to project your panic with a fake smile plastered on your lips until you reached the slider door.

“Honey!” your stomach sank. Your mom. “Your aunt and uncle just got here, you need to say hello!”

Looking over your shoulder she was standing with her hands on her hips, brow furrowed in frustration, watching as your fingers gripped the handle of the patio door.

“I know,” your voice was edged with irritation and you bit your tongue. “Please? I just need some air for a minute. I’ll be right back,” and you could tell she didn’t like your answer, but she didn’t fight you on it as you slipped outside, all the noise and voices and music blunted and sliced in half as you shut the door behind you.

Leaning back against the glass, eyes closed, you pulled in a breath of air and let it out slowly. Trying, telling, yourself you had to keep it together. Just a minute out here and you’d feel right as rain. Ready to dive back in.

The happiest day of your life.

“Shouldn’t you be inside?”

Your eyes flew open, an all-too-familiar voice making your heart leap into your throat.

He was sitting on the edge of one of the pool loungers like it was nothing, a few locks of stray hair falling into his eyes, all warm honey and burnt caramel and the boyish grin he was giving you made you feel dizzy. Like it always did.

“I’ve been inside for like two hours,” you shot back, but you couldn’t ever bring yourself to really sound mad at him.

At Steve.

“Well don't sound like you’re having too much fun. Not like you’re getting married in three days or anything,” he teased, scooting over on the lounger, a silent invitation for you to sit next to him and you took it.

“Don’t remind me–” fell out, “–what I mean is–it's just–just planning everything has been...a lot.”

Steve caught your slip up, but didn’t call it out, only humming in reply as he threaded a hand through his hair, watching as you settled down next to him. “I’m about a month late, but congrats,” he offered with a small smile before taking a drink from his beer.

“Oh, yeah. Thanks,” you replied lamely, cheeks flushing when he looked over at you. You were entirely too sober for this. “Here, gimme that,” reaching over you took the beer from his hand, chugging half of it in one go and pulling a laugh out of Steve.

“Jesus,” Steve laughed, amused at you, a sound you’d missed so very much. “Take it easy,” he chided gently, but it was all warm and sticky sweet like popsicles on a hot day and when you gave it back he shook his head.

Silence lingered between you for a moment, the static sound of the pool filter trickling in the background, and your thoughts drifted back to a moment a few years ago. Up in your room while summer spun by outside. The last time he'd been over here. Steve.

Bobbing along to the music coming from your stereo, you crammed the last of your photos into one of the empty supply boxes Steve had brought over from Family Video.

“I wanted to be with you alone and talk about the weather, but traditions I can trace against the child in your face won't escape my attention,” you sang a little off key, giving your shoulders a little shimmy as you turned to grab the pile of books on your bed.

“You keep your distance via the system of touch and gentle persuasion. I'm lost in admiration, could I need you this much?” Steve sang back, browed knitted together in dedication to the bit, hips swaying as he wiped down your dresser. Turning with the roll of paper towels in his hand he held it out to you as the chorus neared, both of you singing horribly.

“Oh, you're wasting my time, you're just, just, just wasting time!”

“God, who’s gonna sing shitty with me when you’re not around?” Steve tossed the roll onto your bed, leaning back against the drawers behind him.

“Robin sucks more than I do,” you shot back, and Steve mumbled in agreement.

“Yeah, but she hates Tears for Fears,” there was a slight whine in his voice that made you look up at him over your box and grin.

“Well then save it for me when I’m back on Christmas break.”

Steve gave you a pout and folded his arms over his chest, “That’s like, a fucking eon from now.”

“It’s not that long,” you moved around the other side of your bed to sit in front of him, a small pause swallowing you both into silence.

Clearing your throat you dropped your gaze down your shoes, kicking them in time with the song still playing in the background. You glanced over at Steve’s dirty, beat up Blazers and smiled. “I guess I’ll miss you,” you teased, looking back up at him and he gave you a smile, but it softened the longer he looked at you.

“I know I’ll miss you,” he said, and you knew he meant it, and your heart fluttered in your chest like a bird caught in a cage as the air around you grew thick with words unsaid, but implied. Steve took a step away from the dresser, standing in the V of your legs, hand moving to lift your chin up with his thumb and forefinger.

You bit your bottom lip between your teeth, meeting his gaze, and everything felt hazy. “Miss you too, Stevie,” you murmured and he leaned down slowly. Tilting your chin ever so gently he hesitated for just a second before pressing his lips against yours. Your room and half-packed boxes and everything fell away in the warm, glittering feeling of Steve and summer and the last of the light falling through your window washed you both in gold like it wanted to hold you in that moment forever.

“How long are you in town for?” your voice broke the silence between you and Steve took another drink of his beer.

“Just til the day after the wedding, need to get back to things,” he said softly, stealing a look at you out of the corner of his eye, smiling at the way your nose scrunched up when you were thinking, “You look really pretty by the way.”

Your cheeks warmed and you stole a look at him too, “You have to say that.”

“No I don’t. I do on your wedding day, but this is a freebie,” he teased, trying to make it seem lighter than it was, but you both knew the weight it carried.

“Babe, c’mon. You gotta get back inside. It’s rude. People are looking for you,” the sudden sound of Sam’s voice sliced your moment in two and Steve sat up straight, leaning away from you as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Alright, I just needed some air,” your voice sounded tired and Steve caught the look in your eyes as you roughed your hands over your face, “I’m coming.”

“Harrington,” Sam sniped, and Steve gave him a big smile, knowing just how much the other man hated finding the two of you sitting together.

“Sammy,” Steve teased and you had to bite back a laugh, hiding it in a cough, but Sam knew.

“I fuckin’ hate that,” Sam gave Steve a look and he just smiled.

“I think it’s cute,” you chimed in, but knew you should’ve kept it to yourself when Sam glared daggers at you.

“Inside,” he said, patience short, and you felt your own run out as you glared right back, but moved toward the slider door anyway.

“I’ll see you,” you told Steve and just before you slipped back into the chaos, he gave you a look. The same one you remembered from that hot summer evening in your room as you packed your life into boxes. A look that put fire to the embers lying dormant in your chest and something you thought had been extinguished flickered back to life.

“Sam, hurry up, we’re going to be late!”

“I’m trying. You know how much I hate being outside. These stupid boots are too tight and–” Sam grunted, leaning over to tug at his socks, “–these are itchy as hell.”

“You don’t have to wear them, but your legs are gonna get bit up and scratched on the trail,” you shook your head, yanking your own worn-in boots onto your feet.

“Bit? Are you kidding me?”

“What? It’s summer, there are a ton of bugs out right now.”

Sam sucked in a breath and put his face in his hands, standing on the other side of the bed from you. He’d agreed to it at first, thought maybe it might be a quaint little jaunt through a park, but when he realized it was an actual hike up the bluff just outside Hawkins – in nature – he’d thrown a fit.

It was one of your favorite places, a special piece of home, and you were going to go with or without him.

“Just stay home, Sam. It’s fine,” you huffed, kicking your suitcase shut, tugging your ponytail through the back of your baseball cap.

“You know what? Maybe I will. This whole place is too much. Jason’ll get beers with me,” he growled under his breath, yanking his boots off to get to his socks, “Enjoy your hike.”

“Great, thanks, will do,” you almost left the room without saying goodbye, but something made you hesitate and you paused for a second at the door, eyes squeezed shut. Why was everything so damn hard? This was supposed to be easy.

The happiest day of your life.

Resigned, you turned around and retraced the few steps over to Sam. “I’ll see you when we’re back,” you muttered, bending down and brushing a hasty kiss to his cheek.

“See you,” he didn’t meet your gaze, instead scowling at the ground and it was the push you needed to leave, the weight on your shoulders lifting as you hurried down the stairs and out the door.

The sun was just coming up, painting the sky cotton candy pinks and blurred warm tangerines. You could feel the heat already and as you got out of your car at the bluff the feeling of the sun on your bare legs pulled a heavy sigh from your lungs. Breathing out the stress and pressure of the last few days and you closed your eyes for a minute, leaning against the warmth of your car.

It would be okay. Today was for you. This was for you.

Opening them again you heard another car rumbling up the dirt road behind you and when you turned around you grinned so big your cheeks started to hurt.

“OH MY GOD,” Robin squealed. She practically leapt out of the backseat of Steve’s BMW and ran over to you, gathering you up in her arms and squeezing tight. “What the hell! You look amazing! Shit. Is this like, pre-wedding glow or did you stop eating meat or something? I hear it’s like, totally bad for your skin.”

“Robin,” Steve shook his head as he shut his car door before walking around to get Robin’s too.

“What? All legitimate questions! Right, Eds?” she shot back.

“I mean, not the first thing I’d ask,” Eddie replied with a grin, but you could hear the softness of him behind it.

“Alright, well I wouldn’t expect you to know anyway. Weddings are like a foreign language to you plebs,” Robin said simply, clicking her fanny pack around her waist.

“Hey, that’s not fair, I know enough,” Steve chimed in, propping a hand on his hip and giving Robin a look.

“Children, not about us today!” Eddie chided, following after Robin and gathering you up into one of his bear hugs. “Hi, sweetheart,” he held you out at arm’s length and gave you a warm Eddie smile.

“Hi,” you grinned back, the happiest you’d been in days just listening to the comforting sound of your friends bickering, “Missed you.”

“Mmm, you too,” Eddie hummed, shooting a quick glance over at Steve. “Some of us more than others,” he said a bit quieter, bringing his eyes back to you and you felt your cheeks flush.

“Okay, hike?” you deflected, then accusingly looked back at Eddie, “You’re not still smoking are you?”

“Only on Wednesdays,” he flipped back casually, but you knew he was full of shit.

“Munson, you’re a horrible liar,” Steve drawled, rolling his eyes, starting the walk to the edge of the bluff. “Nance and Jonathan are already at the top,” he said over his shoulder, “Jonathan wanted to get a time lapse of the sunrise.”

“Oh, sick,” Eddie clapped his hands, “I gotta see it. C’mon, Buckley get with it.” He waved an arm forward, pulling Robin into a jog and you shook your head with a soft laugh as you caught up with Steve. Starting up the bluff two by two.

The sounds of everything coming to life swirled around the four of you as you walked. The buzz of the insects, birds chirping their morning songs and tractors rumbling to life in the fields alongside the bluff.

Home.

“God, the last time we were up here was so Dustin could talk to Suzie,” Steve half-laughed, Eddie and Robin walking just ahead of you. You grinned at the memory.

“Oh no,” you shook your head, “They might be worse than we are at singing.”

“Didn’t think it was possible to be honest,” he teased gently, smiling over at you, looking for a long moment before dropping his gaze back down to his feet.

You could feel his eyes on you and the warmth of it filled you up and spilled over at the edges, making you happier than you’d been in a long time and a tiny pinch of guilt squeezed in your chest.

“Thanks for getting up so early,” you exhaled, breaths getting heavier as the incline of the bluff steepened, Steve pulling in a breath next to you.

“Oh, I don’t think I’ve slept in since high school,” he waved you off, “Managing a store’s got me up ass early every day. Besides, wouldn’t miss it.” Arms swinging at your sides, his fingers brushed against yours as you walked and the embers in your chest glowed bright.

“Yeah,” you sighed, wishing that for once Sam had come along. That he’d put even a little bit of effort into your interests. That he’d care even a fraction of what Steve cared and the embers flickered again with your frustration.

“You two are slow as hell!” Eddie teased and when you looked up you saw he and Robin had been moving much faster than you and Steve. “I’m smoking a victory cigarette at the top!” he yelled and Robin smacked him, both of them dissolving into laughter.

“C’mon, that asshole doesn’t need another cigarette,” Steve’s brow furrowed in frustration and he picked up the pace, pulling you along with him as he lengthened his stride.

Jonathan and Nancy were waiting for the four of you at the top and, much to Eddie’s dismay, Robin beat him by a couple of feet, stealing his cigarettes and jamming them into her fanny pack as punishment.

Jonathan had asked Nancy to marry him two years ago now, Christmas eve under the tree at the farm and they’d eloped that spring there on top of the bluff. It had been a small, but sweet ceremony, with only family and close friends. Perfectly Nance and Jonathan and as you thought back on it your stomach twisted with a longing feeling.

As you sat scattered among the long grass in pairs – Eddie and Robin, Nancy and Jonathan, you and Steve – a breeze picked up and blew through the wildflowers around you, taking then with it and you watched as the buttercups danced in the wind.

You wanted wildflowers. Not peonies and eucalyptus.

“Hey, where’d you go?” Steve’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you looked over at him, sat close enough to you in the grass that you could see all the little moles and freckles that dotted down the line of his jaw, his neck, the exposed skin along the top of his shirt.

“Flowers,” fell out and you didn’t shy away from him, meeting his gaze.

“Flowers?” he asked, brow knitting together in confusion.

“Stupid flowers. And cake. And nature and socks and–”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. What are you talking about?” Steve scooted closer to you, your legs pressing together as you sat facing each other and he put a hand on your knee.

Your throat tightened and you felt tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, but you willed them away. Not here. You didn’t mean it.

“Hey,” he said softer, hand lifting from your knee to press into yours and you blinked hastily, pulling in a breath to steady yourself.

“I don’t know,” you started, closing your eyes for a minute, trying to ground yourself. “I just–I thought this would be easier. We’re supposed to be in love and planning this should be fun, but it sucks and he–” catching yourself you looked back up at Steve and felt him squeeze your hand. “I’m sorry, it’s just stress. I shouldn’t–”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Steve said, thumb brushing over the bump of your knuckles, soft and warm and reassuring.

He was looking at you again like he had at the welcome party, like you were the only thing that existed in that moment and you felt yourself moving closer, your legs hovering over his with the lack of space.

“I wish Sam would look at me like that,” you whispered and Steve’s lips parted in surprise, anticipation grabbing hold of both of you as the wind picked up again.

“He’s an idiot if he doesn’t,” Steve whispered back, leaning closer still and you could feel his breath as it warmed over your cheek. The scent of his shampoo and spearmint gum and cedar and wildflowers flooding your brain and making everything feel hazy. His eyes all bright amber and flecks of gold in the sun. Closer and closer and closer and–

“Harrington! You left the food in the car!”

Leaning back from each other you felt the tension shatter with the bark of Eddie’s voice and you leapt to your feet.

“God, what a dingus,” Robin grumbled, “Now we gotta go back down.”

“Hey,” Steve scrambled to his feet ignoring them, grabbing your hand in his, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I just–I forgot I have to meet with the baker today about the cake this morning.”

“Oh,” Steve’s expression was edged with concern and he let your hand drop as the others started moving to the top of the trail.

“Rehearsal dinner is tonight right?” Robin asked offhandedly, grabbing a piece of licorice from her fanny pack.

“You have licorice in there and didn’t offer me any?” Eddie accused.

“Yeah, tonight at seven at Hop and Joyce’s farm,” you said, trying to sound casual, but the warm feeling of Steve was still holding you tightly.

“Open bar?” Eddie grinned.

“Oh my god, Munson. Shut up,” Robin chided, shoving him as they all wandered down the path in a line, you and Steve bringing up the rear.

“Course it’s open bar,” you tried to laugh, but it fell short, everything feeling like it was crumbling now.

The breeze picked up, swirling around your feet, carrying spearmint and Steve’s shampoo and boy with it and as you watched the bachelor buttons sway with the wind you felt a thought gnawing at the back of your mind.

What if.

There was still time.

Nothing’s permanent.

People change their minds all the time and…

Come over here. All you've got is this moment, twenty-first century's yesterday. You can care all you want, everybody does, yeah, that's okay.

“Chug, chug, chug!” “Don’t be a pussy, Jason!” “No way, he’s too old!”

It felt like you were back in high school throwing a rager over at Tina Rochester’s house not having drinks after your rehearsal dinner, but after most of the ‘adults’ had all gone home things got carried away.

Hop and Joyce’s farm was far enough outside of town that the noise wouldn’t bother anyone and thank god because it was loud. Maybe open bar hadn’t been the best idea, but Sam was having a great time, smiling and laughing for once and you didn’t fight it. You were having fun too.

“Ohhh! He did it!!” “Get that man a medal!”

Jason Carver, Sam’s best man, crushed his empty beer can under his foot to whoops and hollers. You weren’t sure who started it, but someone had told someone else they could shotgun a beer faster and it spiraled from there. Sam was in his element, partying alongside the other ex-basketball players, and for a minute you felt like maybe things would be okay.

Gathering you up in his arms, Sam spun you in a circle, pressing his lips messy and drunk against your cheek. “God, babe. Should be illegal to look that good,” he slurred into your ear, arms still holding you tight as he lowered you slowly back to the ground.

A grin tugged at the corners of your lips. “Gonna write me a ticket?” you teased and he reached a hand around to grab at your ass.

“Maybe I will,” he breathed and you felt a shiver run down your spine, but then a voice pulled him away.

“Sam? Oh my god!”

Carol and Tommy. Great.

“Carol?? I didn’t think y’all were getting here til tomorrow! Tommy, you look like shit,” Sam barked a laugh and lunged at his old friend, grabbing him around the waist and pushing him across the patio.

“Fuck off, you’re one to talk,” Tommy growled back, digging his hands into Sam’s ribs and both of them fell back into their old selves. Talking about a couple of friends that had gone pro, work, what married life was like for Tommy and Carol.

“Babe, go get me another beer, huh?” Sam said over his shoulder and you rolled your eyes, but giving Carol a quick hug you made your way over to the keg.

Priming the tap you started to pour beer into a cup, but it sputtered and choked before spilling foam and you frowned. “Piece of shit,” kicking the keg you shook the garbage can it was sitting in and tried again, but this time nothing came out.

“Need a hand?”

Eyes still on the keg you sighed, a smile pulling at the corners of your lips as you dumped the foam in your cup onto the ground. “Tapped already,” you grumbled, turning around to see Steve grinning at you, hands jammed in his pockets, tie loose and hanging around his neck and you swore he was the most handsome human being you’d ever laid eyes on.

“Hmm, I don’t think so,” he took the last few steps toward you and primed the tap again, giving the keg one firm shake, and grabbed the cup from you. Foam started coming out and you jammed your tongue into your cheek.

“Ha! Told you–”

But then the foam turned into cold, amber beer, and you clamped your mouth shut.

“You were saying?” Steve teased and you shoved him, spilling some of the beer that he’d just poured into your cup on the ground. “Hey! You’re a menace,” he chided softly, shouldering you back, but grabbing the spout again he filled the cup once more and handed it back to you.

“Thanks,” you muttered, glancing over at him as you took a sip.

“Sam seems to be having a good time,” he commented, finding a cup of his own and filling it.

“Yeah, right back to high school.” You watched as your fiance, Tommy, and Jason all snickered and laughed at each other, talking about ‘the good old’ days, and your smile fell.

You couldn’t remember the last time he laughed like that with you. When he was drinking he got more handsy, liked to keep you close to his side and brag about how you were about to get married, but nothing about how hard you worked or the fact that you were saving up to buy a place.

“I dunno,” Steve sighed, taking a drink of his beer, “I don’t miss it.”

“Me either,” you agreed, glancing up at him, and your heart stopped.

God he was pretty. The string of lights that wound around the property washed him in a warm glow. Hair falling out of place as the night spun on, the line of his jaw cast in half light, dark and strong, the long sweep of his lashes as he blinked and looked down at you, the way his lips pulled up into that smile.

“What?” Steve asked, tone amused and playful and your eyes grew wide.

“What?” you echoed stupidly.

Steve laughed and gave you a lopsided smile. “You tell me, you’re the one zoning out,” he teased and your cheeks flushed.

“Oh, n-nothing,” you stumbled over your words and quickly filled the silence with another gulp of beer.

“Okay, well when it comes back to you lemme know.” His eyes lingered on yours for just a moment longer and then a look came over him. Like he remembered something. “Oh, hey. C’mere a minute,” and then he was grabbing your hand and pulling you around the side of the barn.

As he pulled you into motion you felt just how buzzed you were and a giggle pushed itself through your lips. “What the hell are we doing?” you asked, Steve loosing a laugh of his own as he yanked you both to a stop a few yards away from the party out in the long grass of Hop’s field.

“There,” he said pointing up and you followed the line of his arm into the sky until your eyes landed on it.

“Oh,” you breathed, pulling your gaze back to Steve as he looked up into the inky black expanse of the Indiana night. He was just how you remembered him. Hair messed, all boyish and eyes full of wonder and curiosity, just like he’d been those years ago that night in his backyard while you floated in his pool.

“Yeah, that one. Right there,” Steve swam closer to you, grabbing your arm, fingers folding yours in to make a point and tugging it up over your head.

Your breath hitched in your throat as his legs brushed against yours under the water and it took everything you had in you to pull your eyes from him to look up.

“See it?”

“That one?” you asked, pointing on your own, and he nodded as your eyes trailed up the line of your arm to land on an especially bright star.

“Mmhm,” Steve murmured and all you wanted was to look at him again, so you did. “While you’re gone you can just look up at that at night and think of me,” he said matter-of-fact, giving you one of his lopsided grins.

“What if we’re not looking at the same time?”

“I’ll always be looking,” Steve’s voice was barely above a whisper and the way he looked at you made you feel like you might melt. Blinking water from your lashes you lifted a hand to his cheek and at your touch his hands slipped along the bare skin of your waist, sliding down to your hips as he slowly pulled you into him.

The pool filter was humming heavy between the all crickets and frogs and lightning bugs, but you knew the thudding of your heartbeat was louder than all of it.

Wrapping your legs around Steve’s torso, you laced your fingers at the back of his neck, wanting him closer and tighter. Hair messed and flat against his forehead, his lips were parted as he breathed you in, water dripping off the end of his nose and eyes glittering in the pool lights, burnt caramel and honey and if he hadn’t been holding onto you, you would’ve floated away.

His fingers pressed into the soft skin at your hips and you sucked in a small gasp.

“Sorry,” he whispered, and you shook your head in reply. It’s okay. And then he gently pressed his thumb to the corner of your lips, swallowing against his nerves, and asked, “Can I kiss you?”

Heart racing, fingers still tangled at the back of his neck you whispered, “Yes.”

“Remember when we found it?”

Steve’s question brought you hurtling back to the present and you shook your head, heart racing in your chest like it had that night in his pool. “Of course I remember,” you murmured, and you knew you were crossing a line, knew you shouldn’t have done it, knew Sam was just around the other side of the barn, but something in you snapped. Shifted. Decided it didn’t care and you took Steve’s hand in yours.

His eyes flicked down to where they were joined and then back up to you, “But–”

“We’re friends,” you reasoned softly, “Friends hold hands.”

“Are we?” he asked and you swore you felt your heart crack as your fingers scrambled to tangle up with his.

“Yeah. Yes. We are,” your words came spilling out, the beer spidering warm and hazy through your body as you tried to justify your action and Steve’s brows furrowed as he dropped his gaze.

“I should go,” he said and regret gripped you like a vice.

“Don’t, please don’t,” your tone was almost pleading, watching as Steve’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment, working through his own decision and you thought for a minute he would cave like he always did for you, but then his hand was untangling from yours and the ache in your chest was almost enough to pull tears from your eyes.

“You’re getting married tomorrow,” he said, voice thick and low, and when he opened his eyes finally to look at you, you saw a thousand I’m sorrys, all the regret and lingering kisses on hot summer nights and promises whispered in the dark and you shook your head.

“But it’s not–we can’t–please stay,” nothing you said made sense and Steve ran a hand through his hair, pulling his lip between his teeth.

“Get some sleep. I’ll see you at the church.”

And as you watched his figure walk away, silhouetted and dark against the indigo sky, your star blinking bright above you, you felt tears finally well up and spill down your cheeks.

Sucking in a breath you turned back to the the wide open expanse of field behind you and buried your face in your hands, trying to calm down, willing the tears to stop, telling yourself that you loved Sam. You were getting married. The ring on your finger a constant reminder of what was supposed to happen tomorrow and when you finally lifted your head from your hands your eyes fell on a bright patch there in the field at your feet.

Wildflowers.

Walking back to the party felt like a blur, Steve’s words playing over and over in your mind, and when you came back into the glow of the strung up lights your eyes searched frantically for Sam. If you could just hold his hand, pull him in close you’d know you loved him. Would know you wanted to marry him, but he wasn’t there and everything felt like it was unraveling.

“Hey, are you okay?” Robin’s hand was at your elbow and when you looked up at her, her brow furrowed with worry. “Whoa, what happened?”

“I just need to find Sam, have you seen him?”

“Yeah, yeah I think he was just over here, c’mon. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I just need Sam,” you choked out, Robin’s hand grabbing yours and pulling you along.

“Okay, we’ll find him, it’ll be okay.”

And as you rounded the corner into the quiet of the barn you heard hushed voices. Robin flicked on the overhead lighting to reveal Carol and Sam talking, huddled close to one another and your heart stopped in your chest.

“Wha–Sam? Carol?”

Carol’s eyes went wide and she took a couple steps back, giving you one of her smiles, all flimsy and saccharine sweet. “Oh my god, we thought you left!” she exclaimed, trying a laugh and you heard Robin mumble something under her breath next to you.

“Well, I didn’t. It’s my rehearsal dinner.”

“Babe, we were just trying to plan a surprise for you. For tomorrow, that’s all,” Sam said, taking the few steps toward you, taking your hand in his, but you felt sick to your stomach. You knew that look in his eye, his tone of voice overcompensating for something, lying.

“Yeah! Totally,” Carol said a little too enthusiastically and Robin had had enough.

“Oh my god, totally great!” she mocked, throwing one of Carol’s empty smiles back at her before taking your hand. “It’s super late, Carol. Time to go,” this time Robin’s voice was void of all joking and the look she gave the other girl was enough to push her to leave.

“Absolutely, sure thing. See you tomorrow! Can’t wait,” she purred, but her smile faltered as she met your gaze, walking quickly back out into the night.

“Babe, we really were planning a surprise, I–I just want tomorrow to be perfect,” Sam took your hand from Robin, shouldering her out of the way and she scoffed, still lingering in case you needed her.

“In here? In the dark?” your voice wobbled a bit as you realized what you were implying and Sam squeezed your hand, but it felt suffocating not warm or safe like Steve and you pulled it away. “I’m gonna go home, get some sleep.”

“Of course, baby. Whatever you need,” Sam crowded around you, rubbing your shoulders and pressing a kiss to the nape of your neck, but you didn’t want any of it and shrugged him off.

“Can you give me a ride, Robs?” you asked, pulling away from Sam, your feet not moving you fast enough.

“Yeah, yeah I can give you a ride,” Robin took your hand again, Sam finding himself alone in the wide expanse of the barn on the eve of your wedding.

The happiest day of your life.

“Listen, can I tell you something?” Robin said shifting into park as she turned down the radio and idled in your parents’ driveway.

“Sure,” your voice was small, timid, not you as your thoughts still lingered on what Steve had said. What Sam and Carol had looked like huddled close together in Hop’s barn. Asking yourself why. Asking yourself what you really wanted.

“I don’t think you should get married.”

Your head whipped up from your lap, brows knitted together. “What?”

“I don’t think you should get married,” Robin said again voice softer this time, knowing the weight it carried as she let it settle in the car between you.

“It’s literally happening tomorrow. What d’you mean don’t get married,” you were scrambling now, afraid of what would happen if you let her woods take root, the doubt that had been hovering deep down now pushing itself front and center.

“People do it all the time–”

“No, they don’t!” tears were welling up against your lashes, your face growing hot, willing yourself not to fall apart.

“Okay! Okay, I’m sorry. Of course I’m gonna support you no matter what you decide,” Robin quickly recovered, grabbing your hands in hers as her expression softened. “Just–” a small sigh escaped her and she squeezed your hand, “–I want you to be happy. That’s all. Are you happy?”

Are you happy?

Robin looked at you, eyes wide, hands still holding onto yours and you felt yourself wrestling with the three simple words she’d thrown at you. Swallowing thickly, you couldn’t meet her gaze and pulled your hands away, grabbing at the door handle.

“I’m happy, I am,” and even you knew how flimsy it sounded, but your friend didn’t push you on it.

“Okay, okay. See you in the morning,” Robin said softly and all you could do was nod in reply before shutting the door and hurrying up the walk and into your parents’ house.

You didn’t bother showering as you moved quickly up the stairs to your room, not wanting to face your parents, not like this. Quietly shutting your door you felt the sob in your chest clawing its way up your throat and you tried to swallow it down as you threw back your covers and hid in the deep pile of blankets. You thought for a split second to call Sam over at Jason’s, ask him if he really loved you, if he still wanted to go through with this, but you buried your face into your pillow and tried to push your thoughts away.

Doubt had started blooming in the pit of your stomach from the moment you’d said yes, but it had just felt like the next right thing. Felt like you were supposed to. Date your boyfriend for a couple of years, move in together, get married. Right? But the things you tried hard to ignore kept bubbling up.

Your hesitation when Sam first asked you out. Your trips home on breaks and seeing Steve. The feelings you wrestled with when you saw him. When he talked to you and listened, really listened and looked at you. How it felt like a giant weight being lifted from your shoulders without Sam there.

Your first fight with Sam over money. How he spent so much of it going out with his friends. How you knew they stayed out late and talked to other girls. The high he got from it too much to stop him from doing it. The smell of the other girls on his clothes.

The first time he cheated on you and begged you to take him back. How the first person you wanted to call was Steve, but you called Robin instead.

And now the planning. All the disagreements and arguing and fighting and you were exhausted and he couldn’t even keep away from other women, from Carol, still after all that time.

Are you happy?

Robin’s question looped in your head and you knew the real answer.

No. But then…

Tap. Tap, tap tap.

Peeking your head out from under your covers your ears strained, trying to decide what it was you’d heard. Then it happened again.

Tap, tap. Tap.

There was only one thing that could make that sound, an all too familiar one that pulled forth a flood of precious, happy memories.

Rocks on your window.

Steve.

Crawling out of your bed you hurried to your window and yarded it open, sticking your head out and looking down like you’d done hundreds of times before. “Steve?” you hissed into the dark, and as the wind blew the clouds away from the moon, it shone down on the lawn below you washing Steve in soft light.

“Can I come up?”

You bit your bottom lip between your teeth, but knew there was no debate. “Yeah, hurry up,” and you moved out of the way as he started climbing the gutter before you’d even said yes.

Stumbling in through the open window Steve straightened up and dusted off his old, faded Hawkins High Athletics shirt, a pair of grey sweatpants hanging on his hips, the same pair of dirty, beat up Blazers on his feet.

“Hi,” he said awkwardly, tongue jammed into his cheek as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Hi?” it came out expectantly, a question, but you couldn’t hide the relief in your voice at the sight of him standing there in your room.

“Listen, I just wanted to say sorry. For earlier,” he said, walking to your bed and plopping down on the messed up covers.

“Oh, that’s okay, I shouldn’t have–”

“Just let me apologize,” he said shaking his head with a half laugh, expression mismatched as it twisted with something between regret and care.

So you listened and kept your mouth shut, instead deciding to settle down next to him on your bed, thighs pressed together on the small twin sized mattress. Silence lingered for a minute, but the air was heavy, loaded, like how it felt right before a thunderstorm. The sky holding its breath before opening up and pouring rain, cracking the sky in half with bright streaks of light.

You both stole a look at the same time and it pulled a smile from each of you, tiny breathy laughs falling from your lips, but when it quieted again the tension flooded back in.

“Do you love him?” Steve broke the quiet and you felt your chest tighten. When you hesitated he grabbed your hand in his. “Do you?”

Your pulse fluttered against your neck, your mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water and stumbling and choking on your words, but you knew the answer. You both did. You’d just admitted it to yourself before Steve had fallen through your window and the familiar feeling of panic started to creep in around you, flinging you back to right before you’d left home again. Before you met Sam.

“Steve! Wait!”

You were practically running after him as he stalked back to his car, the sky on fire with the sunset and streaked in cherry reds, sunflower yellows, and bright tangerine.

He fumbled with his keys and dropped them into the grass at his feet, “Shit.”

“Please, just wait,” you were out of breath as you finally reached him and you saw his frame crumple as he loosed a sigh.

“Jesus, what?” his tone was short, clipped as he stared through his car window, your reflection playing against the glass.

“It’s only for another year, it’s not like I’m gonna be gone for–”

“Yeah! Another year!” Steve spun around to face you, cheeks red and lips pulled down into a frown, a muddied mixture of sadness and anger swimming in his eyes. “Just admit it, you don’t wanna come back here, and that’s fine! But don’t make me wait. Please don’t make me wait anymore. It–” Steve choked on his words and dropped his eyes to his feet, biting on the inside of his cheek to blunt the feelings swelling his chest. “It hurts. To sit and wait here for you. Please,” his voice edged on pleading and you felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes.

“It’ll work! It’s just a little longer–”

Steve took a step into you, crowding over you, and you felt your heart stutter in your chest at the closeness of him. He lifted a hand to your cheek, his brows pulling together as he looked down at you, eyes searching yours. “Then be with me. If it’s not that long then be with me. Long distance for a little while until you’re done with school,” he said, voice barely above a whisper.

“Steve. I can’t–” your throat tightened around what you were about to say, scared of what that commitment looked like, scared to fuck it up between you, scared to lose your best friend, but your hesitation broke it anyway.

He dropped his hand away from your cheek, tongue flicking out to run along his lips as he held back his anger. His sadness. Frustration. Snatching his keys from the grass he unlocked the driver side door and flung it open rough.

“No! Wait! I just mean–”

“No!” he shouted into his car and then lowered his voice, tears streaming silently down his cheeks, “No. No more. Good luck with…everything.” And he piled into his car, slamming the door shut and ignoring your cries as you crowded against his window, asking him to stay. To talk about it. To figure things out, but he shifted it in drive and took off down your driveway and into the night.

You weren’t going to fuck it up. Not again.

“No,” and as your admission left your lips the heavy weight that had settled on your shoulders over the last two years started to melt away. “No. I don’t love him.”

Steve’s hold on you tightened, pressing your fingers into his palm and he lifted his free hand to your cheek, eyes searching yours, “Don’t marry him.”

Don’t marry him.

Your breath quickened and you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, trying to reason out what you’d just decided and you felt anxious, but Steve was there. And your room was warm and safe. Just like it was when you were younger. When you both laughed and traded secrets and made promises to each other in the dark.

“But. The wedding. The flowers, the cake, the guests–”

“Fuck ‘em,” Steve said, still holding onto your hand, and his words swirled around in your head. “It’s only a wedding. This is your life,” brushing the rough pad of his thumb across your cheek you closed your eyes and leaned into his touch, “You’re not happy.”

And you weren’t. You’d had moments with Sam, moments in time where things felt right and like maybe it could be forever, but they were just that. Moments. It shouldn’t be this hard. You’d sacrificed, compromised, bent and twisted yourself to be what Sam wanted, what he needed, not what you wanted and when you finally looked up at Steve you felt tears welling up against your lashes.

“What will my mom say,” your voice wobbled as you tangled your fingers with Steve’s and he gave you a small, reassuring smile.

“She wants you to be happy too. She’ll be okay.”

You were dizzy, hazy with thoughts of not being engaged anymore, buzzing with the anticipation of what this decision meant. Of what it held. What the future could be and you looked back up at Steve, tears started to quietly spill down your cheeks and his hand was quick to gently wipe them away. You shook your head, holding your breath, and when you let it go everything came tumbling out.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for making you wait. For hurting you. For everything–”

“Shh, it’s okay,” Steve softly chided, but you pressed on.

“No, no it’s my turn,” you said, voice thick through your tears, and then you turned to cup Steve’s face in your hands. A small smile pulled up at the corners of your mouth even through your crying and you pulled in a breath, ��I love you, Stevie. I always have.”

The look on his face then was one of pure adoration, of relief, and he gave you a smile back, “I know. I love you too.”

I love you too.

Pulling him into you, you felt the soft warmth of his breath across your cheek, the smell of his shampoo and fresh laundry flooding your senses. Hesitating, waiting for him to tell you it was okay and he silently answered you by leaning in and closing the gap between your lips, pressing his softly into yours.

It was slow and languid, a thousand I love yous. Years of want and aching set free into the dark of your room as you breathed each other in like air. The feeling of Steve scattering you out into the stars to live with the one you’d deemed as yours, falling between all the glittering constellations and floating in each other.

I love you too.

Reluctantly Steve pulled away from you, eyes fluttering open to look into yours and he took hold of your waist. “Run away with me,” he whispered.

Your brows pulled together, “Run away?”

“Yeah. Right now. Throw your suitcase in my car and we’ll just drive. Get away from everything, just for a little while until you’re ready.”

Mind racing, working through the logistics of what he was suggesting, you almost protested, but something in you fought back. Told you to listen to your heart, not your head. What did you want? What would make you happy?

“Okay.”

“Really?” Steve’s face lit up at your response, like he hadn’t expected it, and you felt your lips pull up into a smile, tears drying on your cheeks as you let the feeling swallow you up in its warmth. The embers in your chest crackling and flickering with life, with a fire that burned only for him.

“Yeah, yeah I don’t care. I just want to be with you,” you felt yourself grow more and more confident, more decided and Steve pulled you in again to press another kiss to your lips. This time it was hotter, bolder, a confession of passion and you grinned into him.

“C’mon, if we go now we can get coffee at that shitty diner just off the highway outside of town,” he was grinning now too.

“They make the best pancakes,” you laughed softly and Steve’s smile melted as he looked at you.

Finally.

He helped you gather your things, carrying your suitcase out to his car, and you felt like you could fly. Lighter than you’d been in years and the thought of just driving down the road with him filled you with warmth. Like watching the sun set at the end of a hot summer day. Like dipping your feet in the pool after sitting in the heat. Sweet like the taste that followed after a tart drink of lemonade.

You left your engagement ring on your dresser, a small folded note under it for Sam telling him sorry. Telling him you hoped he would find what he wanted. That you knew he’d be okay. And as you closed the door to your parents’ house you felt like you were closing that chapter. Ready to start new. To free fall into this open-ended story with Steve and as you settled into his car your eyes caught a small patch of lawn on the side of your house. Bright and soft in the moonlight and full of color.

Wildflowers.

crappymixtape™ • steve harrington masterlist // stranger things masterlist

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hunterbunter3000 · 1 year

Note

Someone asks Sweetheart if there is anyone waiting for her at home, she responds “just my handsome man!”, none knowing she’s referring to her pet who being taken care of by relatives or friends back home.

Many hearts were broken and murder plots were made until she send them a picture of her “handsome man” while on leave 😂

STOP THEY WOULD ALL BE IN TEARS

They hear her say that, their world just s h a t t e r s

Ofc she would have a man waiting for her at home. She's absolutely gorgeous, who wouldn't bag that immediately?

They get so depressed, asking themselves if they still want to go after her still and be homewreckers or just accept the fact that she has a man and be good friends and support her relationship (and torture themselves)

(No shit tho, what if she DID have a boyfriend back at home? And the boyfie knew about her co workers trying to get her and he shows them who she belongs to? And what if the bf was a well known criminal MAYBE???? And they all fight for her in different ways? Sweetheart boyfriend!au? SHOULD I MAKE THAT HAPPEENNNN???? THE ANGST THAT WOULD COME OUT OF THAT WOULD BE PHENOMENAL)

Krueger straight up wants to murder him, but König slapped him silly and said no (Ghost and Roach were about to join, why you do that König?😢)

And then they hear it again when she was taking a break from sparring with her friend-- "I miss my handsome boy... Miss his little kisses so much!"

Are you... fucking serious right now

QUIT RUBBING IT IN PLEASE

They do NOT want to see another man kissing her. I feel like Roach would have the biggest imagination out of all of them and just daydreams constantly, and he can just see a man kissing her neck slowly. Going up to the shell of her ear and going back down to her shoulder, feeling her shivers and goosebumps along the way. My god he hates it.

So many fake laughs and smiles when she mentions h i m (it's a very taboo word around the boys) and oh g o d what would they say to Alejandro and Rudy? They would be devastated completely (ITS A HUGE MESS)

And then Sweetheart had the GALL- THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY TO SAY "Wanna see a picture of him?"

WHAT

Ghost broke his pen and Price almost swallowed his cigar. Soap put on the bravest face he can muster and said "sUrE!" With his teeth almost breaking. She's glowing as she pulls up pictures on her over decorated phone. "See? Look at him~!"

(Now don't they all feel stupid)

"It's a dog?!" Soap yells out. Sweetheart giggles. "Mhm! My big boy (insert silly dog name here), my handsome man! This was when he caught and maimed the skunk in the backyard. Took two weeks to clean the stink off of him!" She laughs like it's such a good memory, even when the picture shows a huge St. Bernard sitting happily with his tongue out covered in blood (with said Skunk laying on the ground in front of him with no head)

Yk they all felt the tension inside of them go away instantly. "It was a dog... a cute one at that." Alex says as he looks at more pictures of her dog. "Yeah! Uh-- what did yall think I was talking about?" Sweetheart asks. The men look everywhere else but at her. Why are they acting weird? Wait... oh my God.

"Did you think I was talking 'bout a boyfriend?" Sweetheart asks, eyebrow cocked with amusement. Stutters, mumbles and incoherent words play out of them

"What!? Nooooo no no of course not!"

"That's-- that's absolute crazy talk."

"No... Maybe... Ugh, Yes."

"I didn't even- I don't even pay attention to you, like what?"

She just laughs at them, her laughter putting them at ease. Now that THAT is taken care of, they ask her questions about her "handsome man".

"She has a whole folder of him... how cute." König coos, looking at the pictures with Alex. He sees one where it's a selfie; Sweetheart smushed up against her dog with big bright smiles. König and Alex look at each other before sending it to the both of them.

But Ghost still can't shake that feeling...

Does she really have a boyfriend and isn't telling us? (SWEETHEART BOYFRIEND!AU WHO??? WHEN??? WHERE LMAO)

#you all can name the big Ole doggy #because i have a feeling he will be popping up more lol #cod imagine #task force 141 x reader #tf 141 #task force 141 #x fem!reader #black!reader #cod oc #cod x y/n #modern warfare x reader #los vaqueros #konig #soap cod #ghost x reader #gaz cod #black fem reader #141 sweetheart #hunter's ask lounge ☕️

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nishloves · 7 months

Text

𝐒𝐄𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐙𝐄!

f!reader x kyojuro rengoku // fluff, angst, smut (later in the series - skippable) // spoilers ahead! // masterlist

s y n o p s i s : the flame hashira said that you were like a sun; cheerful, warm and positive; it was the weirdest correlation you had heard but then, you strangely aspired to be as cheerful as rengoku made you out to be, which was weird because who could be positive in this cruel world? then you realised that maybe you were just fucked because of human emotions :)

w a r n i n g s (p a r t 1) : blood

w o r d s : 2k (approx.)

chapter 1 | chapter 2 | (3-10 coming soon!)

when you saw him for the first time, you knew you could never even think to forget him, it was like looking at the sun, blinding and so empowering at the same time.

Your hands were covered with blood, were they ever not? Dirt hung onto your clothes as you remembered just how you hated it when you got dirty, but now it's your lifestyle. You couldn't remember the last time you had relaxed in these past months; more so when you had become a hashira.

The nichirin blade slashed through yet another demon's neck as you watch it disintegrate and wailing for someone to save him too.

You sheathed your sword back, your black and silver haori swirling as you walked away from the demon, his sobs deaf to your ears.

"Fifty eight now, was it?" You mumbled to yourself as you watched the kakushi clear out corpses of humans who had perished before you came to their aid.

The demon wasn't even a kizuki.

You sighed as you sat on a nearby bench, your eyes fluttering close as you clutched your blade closer to yourself.

One more, kill more. More and more. Until you're a pillar, until you're strong enough— strong enough for him.

Now what? What after that?

"y/n san! Looks like you have finished your work!"

You opened an eye.

"Mitsuri," you smiled at the girl who beamed at you and pulled your hand towards herself, her soft palm enveloping yours.

"Wah! I really do love it when you call me by my name!" Mitsuri grinned as she leaned into you, her pink hair tickling your cheeks as you laughed.

"Isn't that why I call you, Mitsuri?"

The pinkette grinned at you as she fished out Sakura mochi for you, not again.

"You're taking up too much work, y/n san, you should rest once a while," she smiled at you passing on the dessert.

Rest, was it?

You weren't like this, you weren't a person who desired to overwork themselves to the bone, hell you've always wanted to run away from work yet now, when you have finally attained your goal, you're so scared that it will all slip away, slip away from your grasp as you stop to take a breath.

Was it enough? Was it really enough?

You didn't have any noble goals like other hashira, you just wanted to feel useful. Just that. You didn't really care about demons before you joined the corps, you don't even hate them right now— it wasn't their fault that they were turned into these disgraceful creatures.

"Are you in your head again?"

"Sorry Mitsuri, I am- just tired, yeah," you tried to smile at the newest hashira. You really did adore her a lot.

"Well! That's why I always ask you to take breaks! You wouldn't even stop exercising at the training centre!"

"Don't worry about me." You chuckled, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh OH i was on a mission and wow, that demon was really powerful, not a kizuki but strong! My kasugai told me that you're nearby so, after killing him, i came to meet you!" She exclaimed, her palms fisted in excitement as she blushed at you.

Y/N SAN IS SO HOT WHEN SHE'S CONCENTRATING!

"Oh yeah? You did well, Mitsuri!"

MARRY ME Y/N SAN!

"Thankyou so much, Y/N SAN!"

You laughed as you laid your head on the bench's headrest, your eyes closing by themselves as you realised just how worn out you felt from over three weeks long back to back missions.

"Oh? Rengoku san!"

Ren... goku san? Oh my god, Rengoku-san! Was I drooling? Do I look too much like a mess? AAAH! What should I do!?

"Kanroji! and l/n-kun!" You startled awake as you heard his booming voice, suddenly much more conscious about your appearance.

Did you smell? Was your haori too dirty? Did you burn your hair during the fight?

"Good morning, Rengoku-san," you smiled, trying to ease your mind, you're a slayer for god's sake, you can't look good after a fight!

"What are you doing here, Rengoku-san?" Mitsuri asked, passing another mochi to him as he gratefully took out and squeaked out a very loud "delicious" before answering.

You really wanted to sleep.

"I got a two day holiday because my mission went over a month! So I went out to walk."

"In a demon infested area?" You unintentionally mocked as you saw Rengoku's ears turning pink, he's gonna hate you now, isn't he?

"You got me there, l/n kun, as expected of your smarts!"

I am not really that bright though?

"I came here to meet you, l/n kun, it's been so long since we last caught up!" He said enthusiastically as his eyes trailed on your exhausted figure.

"Or let's not, i shall walk you to your cottage; you really need sleep," his bushy brows furrowed as he leaned down to examine you, his hand outstretched as if waiting for you to ask him for help.

"O-oh, I-I forgot that Iguro san was waiting for me at-at another city!" Mitsuri shreiked as she got up from the bench, fumbling and running away before you or Rengoku could say any word.

"Weird."

"Not really, Iguro-kun doesn't like waiting on others."

"I.." your speech faltered, did it even matter what you wanted to say?

You focused your eyes on the glinting red orbs of Rengoku as warmth spread over you; how could a pair of eyes be so earnest?

You slipped your hand in his.

"Thankyou for taking care of me, Rengoku-san."

"No worries, l/n-kun! We are friends right!?"

Friends, yes. Friends. You pursed your lips to refrain from showing any disappointment.

"Come on, don't look so glum, i will treat you to lunch!"

"LET'S GO RENGOKU SAN!"

"That was very fulfilling," you replied after an amazing (and embarssing because he wouldn't stop saying umai) lunch as you walked with Rengoku, his cheerful smile plastered on his face. You didn't know you were that hungry.

"Ha ha I know right? They have the best soba," Rengoku said, his hands buried under the cuffs of his kimono as you blushed slightly.

"Break day for y/n! Break day for y/n!" Your kasugai crow chirped as you winced at your bird, who flew and sat straight on your shoulders.

How far was your house?

"Are you alright?"

"Y-yeah i am," you tried to smile, you really did.

"But, you don't look fine at all," Rengoku said, directly looking at you, "I am sorry for overexerting you."

"Not at all!" You retorted, your hands flailing in the air as you scared your kasugai off who squeaked and flew off to a new tree... you would say sorry later. "I am so glad that you treated me to a meal! I'm pretty sure that i would have stayed hungry by myself." Because I'm too lazy to cook.

"You shouldn't stay hungry l/n-kun, We are hashiras! we should eat fully and keep track of our healths!" Rengoku remarked, his gaze travelling to your dark circles and your worn out haori.

"Come."

What?

"Come."

What was Rengoku doing?

He crouched right there in front of you, his hands at his behind, "Come on, i will give you a ride!"

"W-we could call a cab! You don't need to do this!" You tried to explain, your face flushed as you looked at the gentleman who laughed at your stammering.

"And waste fuel for some measly three kilometer walk? We shouldn't do that! Now climb over, it's a way of me saying sorry for pushing you to get a meal."

You pursed your lips and climbed on Rengoku's back, your arms around his neck and his hand situating securely on your thighs as you blushed and looked away to watch the sidewalk.

"You didn't push me to get a meal, Rengoku-san; I was quite happy when you asked me to," you muttered, your voice barely above a whisper as you could feel his grip tighten slightly.

"I see! Still, let me help you, you just finished your mission!"

You let go of your complaints, you didn't want to make a good one either; you cherished the little yet meaningful time you spent with the hashira, his laugh and smiles always seeping warmth into your body, he could calm your very soul.

You leaned your head on his shoulder.

"Thank-you so much, Rengoku san."

"No worries, y/n!"

You didn't hear him saying your name as your eyes dropped and you drifted to sleep on the most reliable back of the world.

You remembered when you first met Rengoku, on the footholds of mount Fujikasane, among the numerous wisteria leaves as a particular bright haired man stood out amongst the crowd. You sensed that he could clear the selection easily.

"Me?" You heard his boisterous laugh, "Oh, I practice Flame breathing!"

Your family wasn't really affiliated to the demon slayer corps before you so it was a given that you didn't recognise the peculiar mane of hair, you wondered just why was this man so popular? But, it wasn't as if people like you would be, so you didn't complain; you remember sitting on the ground and trying to conserve your energy as pupils around you either chatted to relieve their nerves or had their teeth jittering.

You remembered the way his red eyes made contact with yours mere moments before the final selection started, he sent a nod towards you, as if wishing you all the luck, you could only nod back.

The week in the mountain was... a blur. You remember slashing off numerous demons, and hiding on the top of the trees or resting on open grounds during the day to save your energy. You and the demons both moved at night. Strangely, you didn't meet any slayer after the two initial days not that you cared a lot, but you found yourself wondering about the whereabouts of the flame breather. If he was... alright.

Only six had made out, one of them being you and the other being Rengoku, two of the other four being lucky enough to be saved by him.

You could see that he actually spent his whole time killing demons and saving people.

You scoffed, this was the final selection, if not now, they would die later, would he be there to save them again?

You remembered the way he trudged towards you, a gigantic smile on his face as he laughed, "I knew you would make it!"

Your heart melted.

"Why did you think so?" You asked in a small voice, intimidated by his happy demeanor as he said, "You look like you are very strong, and guess, I was right!"

You blinked at him.

"It's nice that you made it out too," really, is this the best that I can offer?

"Right? Let's save the weak!"

"Yeah... sure."

"l/n kun?" Was this sixteen year old's voice always this bold?

"l/n kun!" Wait, you didn't tell him your name yet in this flashback!

"l/n? Wake up!" The boy of your dreams who had just escaped Mt. Fujikasane shook you as your eyes shot open.

"AAAAAAAAH!" You cried out!

"AAAAAAAH!" He screamed too.

You looked at him, "Why are you screaming?"

"Why were you screaming? Did you have a nightmare?" The now man of your dreams asked, his brows furrowed in concern.

Yeah, it was a dream alright.

"Not really, it was fine- my dream was fine," you mumbled, your eyes adjusting to the light as you looked around the room; was it your living room? You frantically looked out of the window, it was dark!?

"Oh yes, here!" Rengoku passed your keys to you.

"You gave them to me while you were asleep! And then you said something about turning on the porch light?"

You didn't remember any of it.

Looking at your incredulous face, Rengoku laughed, "You don't remember?"

"I don't," you admitted abashedly. "What else did I ask you to do?"

"Nothing really, you said that I don't need to worry about you and that I can go, you even came to see me off and closed the doors after I left!"

"I-I did?"

"Yes! I asked you to lock the gates too!"

"I don't think I locked them," you winced.

"You didn't! I came to check up on you because you looked sick, and the door was unlocked, i thought an intruder had entered your house so I trespassed your property, sorry for that!"

"It's alright—"

"But then I saw you sleeping at your front porch, so I brought you in!"

You smacked your head, could you be any more embarrassing than this?

"I'm so sorry, Rengoku san—"

"It's alright, l/n kun! I like taking care of you!"

Your cheeks flushed as your eyes widened slightly, what virtues might you have done to ever meet a man like this?

"Thank you so much then," you could only offer him a smile for keeping up with you.

He grinned.

"Your house is... nice," he mumbled, looking around the garden where a bunch of colorful flowers were carefully planted to follow a colour scheme.

"Thank...you?"

"No- I mean, your cottage—though small, is cozy and warm, it's almost like... home," he muttered his red eyes shining under the red hues of setting sun as he looked at you and gave you the warmest smile.

Did you really need sun if you have him?

"There's also this scent of cinnamon, I noticed it quite earlier but I can't find the root of it! Your house feels quite like home."

A bashful giggle erupted from your chest as you looked at his glistening hair against the sunlight, he was glowing, glowing in front of you.

"I bought cinnamon seeds to try and grow in my backyard and well, I got sidetracked so I—" you stood up, a blush caressing your face as you pulled out a drawer, which was full of bundles of cinnamon. "I-I liked their smell a lot!"

It was now Rengoku's turn to laugh, his eyes crinkling with delight as he took the support of the wooden floor he was sitting on.

"I see, l/n kun; you're a hoarder!"

"I am not!"

"But you are!"

You covered your face with your hands in embarrassment as you retorted quite chidlikely, "What's wrong in keeping more of things that you like? Huh!?"

"Nothing, I guess," he smiled at you, "It's good to keep things and people you like close to you, it makes you happier, stronger and more determined, because now you have more things to go back to."

You watched his face from the gaps between your fingers, he had such a calm smile that your heart fluttered like a giddy teenager's yet you felt more safe than nervous with him.

You pursed your lips, maybe if the situation of demons was over, maybe if you get stronger and on par with him, you would let him know of your feelings.

"Things and people to go back to," you mumbled, your eyes softening, "I suppose I do have them; but you have so many things to look forward to too, don't you Rengoku san?"

He looked straight at you with a faint smile on his face, "I do."

more at chapter 2!

this was a rather short chapter and I wanted to leave it at a heartwarming note so <3 hope you liked it and thankyou for giving this fic a chance!

kny tmi! - cannon (+added lore of the fic for y/n)

mitsuri was kyojuro's apprentice! she was 19 in the mugen train arc and rengoku was 20 and rengoku became a hashira while kanroji was still learning from him. considering that kanroji was 17 when she chose to work under demon slayer corps, rengoku became a hashira at 18! now rengoku and y/n's age in this fic is around the same but y/n isn't as strong as mitsuri or rengoku so it took her around three to four years to finally become a hashira while mitsuri took around 1-1½ years. but, y/n did become a hashira earlier than mitsuri, so we can assume that she became a hashira around 6-8 months before kanroji!

[ while rengoku defeated lower 2 of kizuki to become a hashira; y/n took the way of defeating fifty demons (which would take a normal and good slayer around five years)! y/n is talented but because she has people like rengoku, mitsuri and tokito around, she doesn't really realise that she does have a great deal of potential. ]

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hisnowbie2 · 4 months

Text

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ -ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Summary:

¤ Turning 18 on that day, Seolji didn't expect herself to see a thread of a red string being tied up around her pinky finger, casually dances to the flow of the wind that blows her hair.

And she remembers specifically.

It was a windy day, close to drizzling. Right in front of her new school at the start of the year, she was just walking casually to school, when she felt a pull on her pinky finger.

Now that she understands what is happening, all she need is time for her to have her string guilds her to her soulmate. As much as she wishes her dream soulmate to be her type, she actually didn't expect someone over her expectation. To say the worst, she doesn't like it at all. ¤

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ -ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Concept:

SMAU x written x romance x slowburn x angst × crack

Warning:

Corny jokes and chats, indirect "k**l" word, break up, huge height difference, switch POVs, toxic ex, 1 year age gap, lack of information of internship and its jobs, LOTS of typo errors, mispelled swearings, ignore timestamps if thrs any, their twitter like, retweet and comment aren't relevant to the story so dont mind it zero, (at one chapter i might have stated d!3 word but i just couldnt find where so be aware of that), lmk if i missed out

Featuring/mentioned:

ATEEZ Jung Wooyoung and Choi San, STRAYKIDS all members, SVT Jeon Wonwoo and Lee Chan

Status:

Completed ❤️

Started:

13 Jan 2024

Ended:

24 Feb 2024

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ -ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

BFFsies | Geis

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺ | ↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

O N E : 【 Zhong Chenle, 卒】

T W O : 【 Welcome back home, CHEATER 】

T H R E E : 【 It's your turn to shine 】

F O U R : 【 Internship sucks 】

F I V E : 【 Ladies man 】

S I X : 【 Lee Yongbok?! 】

S E V E N : 【 Worth to be a wimp for him 】

E I G H T : 【 Shopping adventure, who? 】 (0.9k)

N I N E : 【 Crazy rich asians just poor asians 】

T E N : 【 Like around 200cm tall 】 (0.3k)

E L E V E N : 【 CODE RED 】

T W E L V E : 【 Soobin's first retweet! 】

T H I R T E E N : 【 Bro code 】

F O U R T E E N : 【 Countdown 】

F I F T E E N : 【 Im sus of your sexuality 】

S I X T E E N : 【 10 reasons why we shouldn't invite Hyunjin noona's family 】

S E V E N T E E N : 【 I dont like parties 】

E I G H T E E N : 【 Half 50 】

N I N E T E E N : 【 They all are GIANTS 】

T W E N T Y : 【 I'm not gonna breathe clear air, UNLIKE THEM】

T W E N T Y O N E : 【 He's FOIVE 】

T W E N T Y T W O : 【 Party party yeah~ 】 (2.1k)

T W E N T Y T H R E E : 【 O-... oh... OWH OKAY 】

T W E N T Y F O U R : 【 HI hello AnNyEoNg 】

T W E N T Y F I V E : 【 That went well(?) 】

T W E N T Y S I X : 【 Who wants my 99cents crown? 】

T W E N T Y S E V E N : 【 Not bad but not good 】

Minjeong superior <3

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

T W E N T Y E I G H T : 【 #sunghoon_oof 】

T W E N T Y N I N E : 【 I kieru myself, please 】

T H I R T Y : 【 I? You? We? 】

T H I R T Y O N E : 【 She?! Him?! They?! 】

T H I R T Y T W O : 【 I. Him. We. 】

T H I R T Y T H R E E : 【 We're slowing down 】

T H I R T Y F O U R : 【 A date? 】

T H I R T Y F I V E : 【 Should I go for movie star glamorous? 】

T H I R T Y S I X : 【 Soob's down into a loophole 】

T H I R T Y S E V E N : 【 Pep talk 】

T H I R T Y E I G H T : 【 ESEKIUSMOA?! 】

T H I R T Y N I N E : 【 Thank you 】 (1.5k)

F O R T Y : 【 The rare Soobin-becoming-flirty card appears! 】

Kim Minju

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙

F O R T Y O N E : 【 Her 】

F O R T Y T W O : 【 Asshole Geis 】

F O R T Y T H R E E : 【 Heeseung's out】

F O R T Y F O U R : 【 Soobin dissing day is on the 26th 】

F O R T Y F I V E : 【 He's a damn darn 🚩 】

F O R T Y S I X : 【 J****** guy 】

F O R T Y S E V E N : 【 Her ex is who?! 】

F O R T Y E I G H T : 【 The back-up plan 】

F O R T Y N I N E : 【 Night apple is poison apple 】

F I F T Y : 【 4'11 & 6'1 】

F I F T Y O N E : 【 Baby shark as a lullary lure 】 (1.4k)

F I F T Y T W O : 【 It's word for word 】 (1k)

F I F T Y T H R E E : 【 Your honour, that's cap 】

F I F T Y F O U R : 【 Unglam photos 】

F I F T Y F I V E : 【 CREATE PRIVATE ACCs FFS 】

F I F T Y S I X : 【 Blindfold kink huh? 】

F I F T Y S E V E N : 【 Sunghoon's life lesson 】

F I F T Y E I G H T : 【 Binnie binnie 】

F I F T Y N I N E : 【 Prioritized 】

S I X T Y : 【 Toradora! 】

S I X T Y O N E : 【 Treat him right 】

S I X T Y T W O : 【 We're going on a trip with my favourite rocket ship 】

S I X T Y T H R E E : 【 We are not in a cult 】

S I X T Y F O U R : 【 I love you 】

S I X T Y F I V E : 【 Missed me much? 】

S I X T Y S I X : 【 I'll miss you guys 】

S I X T Y S E V E N : 【 It's gone?! 】

S I X T Y E I G H T : 【 Small early party 】

S I X T Y N I N E : 【 YES 】

S E V E N T Y : 【 Marriage 】

E N D I N G

Fin

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Masterlist

Txt masterlist

#kpop #hybe #txt #tomorrow x together #soobin #choi soobin #choi beomgyu #choi yeonjun #kang taehyun #hueningkai #chenle #yeji #bighit #bahiyyih #seungmin #txt smau

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star-glass-coffee · 2 years

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I want rise angst (even tho it’s not good for me)

K So like what if theyre in a battle n wtv and they think it’s over g/n reader makes eye contact with Leo as they get stabbed from behind and then all the boys are like oh shit :O and run to them.

Extra points for excessive swearing and panic and stumbling over words Cus poor lee doesn’t know how to help and he looks to donnie but donnies just as lost as they’re tryna patch up the wound

Extra extra points if leader survives and they wake up later to greeting from ol blue (relationships can be crushing or platonic Idm just throw everything you’ve got at me. KILL ME WITH IT. Sry if this is a lot just do whatever feels easiest to u Lol I’m not actually picky)

(Yes the angst I’ve been craving 😈 finally, ima change it up to crushing Leo) but just to be clear I never had the time to watch rottmnt all the way through so ima make up a fight 🤭

It’s been at least three hours since April called you guys up, saying that the foot clan is taking prisoners at her job and she needs help

The turtles quickly got into action as you tried to stay behind, just trying to have a day off from fight after fight but they didn’t let that happen

“Tell me why again? Today was my only day off and now I’m stuck fighting Donnie’s killer robot!!” You yell blocking the sharp arm away from your face

“For the last time I’m sorry! How was I suppose to know the foot clan was going to have a control device! Can’t a man live with his killer robot friend?”

“No!”

Raph takes his enemies out easily as he helps Mickey, most of the foot soldiers not backing off as the oldest looks around concerned

“There must be thousands of them, we have to get the citizens out of here!”

April nods as she helps the unconscious customers away, Raph and Mickey teaming up with Donnie as the attack the hoards

You get stuck with the machine, hitting everywhere with your weapon as it has no damage, sweat going down your head as you duck down bawling

“I hate you Donnie! I just wanted a day off!!” You say whining before kicking at the legs, the robot grabbing your arm as it lifts you up.

Leo quickly defeats three of the foot clan members as he goes to your side, kicking its head as it drops you to the ground

“Fear not y/n! Your favorite ninja is here to save the day!” He says kinda unsure as he grabs you and runs, the robot continuing its chase as you scream

“Favorite I thought I was your favorite!!”

“You will be if you turn your machine off!” You yell at Donnie as the turtle clicks his remote control, trying to override the system as the robot glitches crazily

Leo and you getting cornered as he puts you down, both of you getting ready to attack as he pulls you close

“After this lets grab a bite to eat, how does Johnny dough sound?~” Leo says flirtatious as you smile grabbing one of his katanas

“Not the time Lenard! We gotta make it out of this first”

“Okay but after?”

Donnie quickly presses all the buttons as sweat goes down his face, quickly trying to disarm the robot before it hurts you both, Raph and Mickey getting off the rest of the clan as they sigh exhausted

“Please stop flirting it just gets me sweatier!” He yells at you both as the robot closes in, you and Leo putting in a serious face as you get ready

The robots red eyes twitching as it’s limbs shake, pulling up its sharp claws as static comes from its mouth, slowly approaching as you look at it nervously

“It’s now or never y/n.”

“Trust me I know!” You yell as you both go to attack the thing, hearing it click for a second as Leo hits it

but it just pukes out black smoke, falling tot he ground with its arm raised as you and Leo look at it confused

“D-did I hit it to hard?”

you look up confused as Raph holds the control, it smashed in his hand as Donnie looks at him gasping

“You coudnt so that in the first place!” You yell annoyed as you give Leo back his katana, Donnie holding the broken remote as he whines

“This took me weeks to perfect! You monster!” He yells at Raph as the tall turtle scratches his neck laughing

you just sigh as you walk up to the three, Leo following closely behind as his arm goes over your shoulder

“Well looks like we survived dons robot after all… now I remember someone owing me a date?” He says smugly as you roll your eyes before laughing

“Sure fine, but your definitely buying”

Leo lightens up at this as he hugs your waist, his cheeks flushed as he smiles wide, the others looking at you with rolling eyes as they follow

“Get a room please, I’m trying to I mourn…” Donnie says heartbroken as he holds the broken controller, April patting his shoulder as you all walk away together from the scene

this was kinda easy…. No one got hurt and there’s still time to spare..

You hear a click behind you as you go to look, before meeting Leo’s eyes as the turtle goes to say something

“Prince Leo to the res-“

Before he can say anything you feel a immediate pain through your stomach, Leo’s eyes looking at you horrified as the turtles do as well

your eyes falling down to it as the metal forearm of the robot goes through you, it’s sharp edge barley sticking out as blood vastly drops down

The arm getting pulled back as blood splashes Leo’s face, the robot glitching again as it falls down dead

You join the thing as you fall tot he ground holding your stomach in pain as you scream, tears going down your face as you see the bloody puddle your creating

The turtles quickly to your side as Raph picks up you slowly, hearing your screams of pain as he puts his hand in the wound

Bloody screams are made as Leo feels his face, looking down at you as the turtle breaths loudly

Roans hand now covered in blood as he tries to stop the bleeding, Donnie by his side as the turtle takes His mask off, trying to apply it to your wound as April yells at him

the muffled yells of everyone scaring Leo as his ears rings, before he snaps out of it as you yell in pain, he joins your side with everyone as Mickey still stands afraid

“W-what do I do April! What do I do!” Leo yells as the girl shakes her head, going to his, your cheek as he eyes glaze with tears

“How am I suppose to know! You said the robot was off Donnie!”

“Give me a fucking moment! Raph move your hand!”

“Y/n stay awake! Don’t close your eyes! Raph move your hand now!” April yells as the turtle doesn’t move, his hand pressing harder on your wound as you scream

“Raph!” Leo yells as he grabs the arm, Raph quickly looking down as his breath goes wild, moving his hand as Donnie ties his mask to your stomach

“No! P-please!” You yell screaming from pain as Donnie pulls your arms down, blood all over his chest as you yell

you squirm your feet everywhere as you try and hit Donnie away, the turtle applying more pressure to your wound as blood gushes out still

Mikey crying heavily as he looks away, about to hyperventilate as April runs to him, her arms covered in blood as she talks with the small turtle

“Why isn’t it stopping! She’s loosing to much blood!” Donnie yells as Leo pulls your hair back, most sticking to your face as you groan screaming into your lips

”I-I dammit! It won’t stop!” Donnie yells as he lifts up his arm, whipping away his sweat as blood goes all over his forehead, Leo’s arms now stained with dry and new blood as he tries to calm you

“Y/n hey! I-it’s going to be okay! Donnie’s got you!” He says reassuringly as he gulps down his tears, some falling down onto your face as you hiccup, your eyes feeling heavy as you feel the sharp pain subside

“She’s closing her eyes! Raph lift her!”

the turtle listens as he lifts you up, looking at your back confused before his eyes widen, the wound behind you wider then the other as he can see the muscles move

he feels his spit go up his throat as he gags, April seeing as well as she shakingly pulls out her phone, Mickey turning around to see as he screams loudly, April pulling him away front he scene as you feel your vision go blurry

The screaming and crying of the turtles slowly leaving your eyes as you close your eyes hearing Leo’s voice try and pull you back before you go to sleep

”y/n! Fuck call splinter!”

Mostly everything a Blair as your eyes open slowly seeing Raph carry you as he runs in the sewers, you close them again as you see the sight before you

splinter holding your head up as the turtles look at you worried, Leo’s face the most horrified as he watches from a distance, feeling hands go all over you as you see different kinds of mutants with doctor clothes

You end up falling asleep again as you groan, waking up again as you feel the slight discomfort in your stomach and back, your arm going up to them as you feel a cloth and paper on it

Your eyes widening as you remember the events, quickly sitting up, feeling a draft hit your body as you look around, seeing the lair in front of you

“I-I… where is-“ you go to say before you head someone sniffle next to you, a hand go to your arm as you look, seeing Leo’s face surprised as he drops the plate the food

He rushes to your side as he hugs you tightly, tears falling from his face as you keep your arms up, looking at him confused as you cough embarrassed

“Hi? Why are you hugging me?” You ask as he pulls away, your face lightens as snot and tears drop down his face, the turtle whipping them away as he gasp for air

“We thought you wouldn’t wake up! I’m so glad!” He yells as his face falls to your legs, crying hard into them as you pat his head, feeling guilt rush over you

“I’m sorry Leo…” you say smiling at him as the turtle still cries into your legs. Looking up a little as he sniffles

”I’m sorry, I-if I paid closer attention you wouldn’t be hurt!” Leo says as you raise an eyebrow thinking back the robot as you shake your head

“It isn’t your fault Leo.” You say holding his cheek as you wipe away the tears, Leo looking at you as you comfort him

“B-but if I-“

he doesn’t finish as you pull him in for a kiss, Leo’s face going red as his tears stop completely, looking at you with wide eyes before he kisses back

you two staying like that for a second as you pull away, smiling at leo as the turtle looks at you before giving you a smile

“Leo”

“Yeah?” The turtle says excited at your next words as you smile wide at him

“Your on my stomach..”

He quickly pulls away as you groan, holding your wound annoyed as you growl

“Why does it hurt so much still, it feels so itchy!!” You yell as Leo nods, laughing s little as he rubs his head

”yeah… we kinda had to use Donnie’s mask as a bandage for a while… sand he has bad hygiene skills”

“I can tell it feels like I have dandruff in my stomach” you whine as Leo sits by your side, smiling up at you happily as his arm pulls you close to him

“Now that your awake and my Oscar award performance is done… date?”

“Sure Leo, I can use some food right now.” You say happily as he pulls you in for another kiss, you both enjoying it this time before gasps are heard

”my beautiful satin sheets! Blue you are grounded!”

“I have an amazing hygiene routines!”

“Since when did you two become a couple!”

“Awwwww. True love”

“Didn’t she like just wake up?”

#rottmnt #tmnt leonardo #rottmnt april #rottmnt leo #tmnt donatello #rottmnt like father like son #rottmnt loathsome leonard #tmnt #tmnt x reader #tmnt x you #rottmnt x reader #angst #tmnt angst #teenage mutant ninja turtles bayverse #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt doodles #bloodbath #cw injury

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