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#oh also why did I forget one of her powers is actually the dead singing to her
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Part 02 of 03
Pairing: Negan x Reader
Word count: 1.8 K
Summary: You were running from death for too long, and when you stumbled upon a wooden cabin in the woods, you found more than just a safe place to hide.
<- Previous part (01)
Next part (03) ->
{The Walking Dead Masterlist}
×
“She's got a smile that it seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories. Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky.” Both you and Negan sing along to the music, in a tone of voice that will make him check the surrounding areas. But it feels good. And you're happy you feel safe enough to do this after so long stuck in silence. “Now and then when I see her face, she takes me away to that special place, and if I stare too long, I'd probably break down and cry.” With a bright smile on your face, you brace yourself for the chorus. It's always powerful, and it brings a nostalgic feeling. From the life before, when you used to dance to this very song in your bedroom.
“Whoa, oh, oh, sweet child o' mine.” Negan, as usual, sings the first part. You have your legs on his lap, as you both sit on the living room couch, sharing a blanket.
“OH!, oh, oh, oh, sweet love of mine.” You finish up, throwing your head back with a smile.
It took two weeks for you and Negan to break through each other. Seventeen days to be exact. At first, it was weird, mostly at night when you were sharing the bed. But now, it's actually nice. And fun. You love his sense of humor.
“Good music never gets old.” He comments when the song is over.
“You're one hundred percent right.” With a giggle, you run a hand through your hair. “It just sucks that you have to go charge it at the community.”
“Yeah, it was pretty hard to explain the first time.”
“Why don't you live with them? Was it your decision or theirs?”
Negan goes silent for a while, a sigh leaving his lips. “I wasn't much of a nice guy before. Did some ugly shit, they rather have me away.”
“Well, we all did some ugly shit at some point. I had to kill people and... I'm not proud of it.”
“You? Tiny, little you? I don't believe it.” Under the blanket, Negan tickles your sides, making you break into laughter, slapping his hands.
“Stop it! Stop it!” You're still giggling when he does. “Well, I'm not as helpless as I look, Mister. I can defend myself when I need to.”
“Well..., you won't need to anymore.”
“Oh, yeah? And why's that?” There's this unspoken thing between you. It gets clear these times when the conversation goes some unexpected way. It feels like something floating in the air, close enough to grab, but you don't know why neither of you take it.
“Because from now on you have me.”
“And why the hell do you think my stay is permanent?” Squinting your eyes, you stare at him.
“Because if you go, sweetheart, you won't be taking my iPod.”
“I can always steal it.”
“You wouldn't dare.”
“Is that a challenge?”
Negan raises an eyebrow, and when you think he will say something, he suddenly grabs your legs, and pulls, making you slide on the cough, closer to him. “If you're leaving I have to–” And he's tickling you again, on the ribs, making you laugh out loud, trying to push him away. “–make sure you don't forget me, little one.”
“NO!” You scream, trying to get him off you. “I'm not going anywhere! Stop it.”
“Oh, good. Very good.” He raises his voice to make himself heard above your laughs. And when he finally stops, he's close.
A little too close.
“You really want me to stay?” You ask now that you managed to catch your breath. He nods. “Why? And no funny answer, I really wanna know.”
“It's just good to have someone who doesn't hate me.”
“Why would I hate you?” As usual, Negan starts to move away. And not only physically, but also emotionally. It happens every time you get closer to asking about whatever happened before. But this time, you hold him by the collar of his shirt, forcing him into this half lying, half sitting position you got yourselves into. “Negan, please. Whatever you tell me... It's ok. We all did bad things in the past.”
“That's it. I did bad things. No need to get into details.”
“Ne–”
You're suddenly cut off by his lips, crashing on yours. It's so unexpected that for a moment you're frozen, unsure why he did that. And your lack of response makes him pull away, an awkward expression on his face. “I screwed up. I thought it would be romantic, you know? But I get it, being kissed by an old man like it must be–”
“Shut up and kiss me again so I can kiss you back, you idiot.”
And so he does. A couple of times, actually.
And then, way too many times, never enough.
Love is different these days. Before, it would take more time. And maybe your world wouldn't even get in touch with his.
But now, it happens fast. And it doesn't make it weak. Maybe, it makes it stronger.
You and Negan bounded quickly. And it also escalated quickly. From the first awkwardness of living under the same roof with someone after so long alone, you grew to enjoy his company. To want his company. To love his company.
•••
“It's so cold today.” You complain, coming from the bathroom and sliding under the blankets, curling up next to him. “Winter will be tough.”
“It will.” He takes you in with open arms, rubbing your back as you put your head on his chest. “I'll get us more blankets.”
“In Alexandria?”
“Mhmm.”
“Can I come with you?” You ask, lifting your head to look at him. “I'm curious about it.”
“Thought you were suspicious of them.”
“I am.” Raising your head, you look at him with a smile. “So I wanna go to keep you safe.”
“Oh, thank you. I always get so scared out there, I'll feel so much better with you.”
The sarcastic tone makes you roll your eyes. “Keep talking like that and I'll bite you.”
“Mmm... I might not complain.”
“Oh, shut up.” Lying on his chest again, you pull the blankets closer. “Also... I wanna go out. I have been inside this cabin since I got here. I'm ready to face the outside world again.”
“I'll be right there with you.” Listening to this soft, sweet promise, you fall asleep in his arms, warm and comfortable.
•••
The morning comes fast, and it's around nine when you and Negan leave the cabin. Being outside again feels weird, but good. Now that you don't need to run for your life, you can see the beauty of it. The trees, tall and strong, the sunlight coming through, painting the atmosphere with a golden shine.
“You're alright?” He asks after a while, taking your hand in his. “Anxiety kicking in?”
You simply shake your head, giving him a look and a smile. “It's silent here. I like it.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Thank you for walking there. I needed to... Face it. The fear of being out here.”
“Not a problem. It's not a hard walk.” Negan has your hand secure in his, all the way.
The gates of the city come into your sight suddenly. It's open, with a couple of people by it, working. You feel Negan tensing up, so you caress the back of his hand with your thumb. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing.” He quickly says.
Furrowing your eyebrows, you look ahead. As you get closer, the staring begins. Nobody stops you, but nobody talks to you either. Not until a woman with white hair comes, with a very weird smile on her lips. “Hello. Do you need anything?”
“Blankets. The nights are getting colder.” Negan says, and the woman looks at you.
“Hi...” You mutter, unsure what to say. “Could I charge my iPod while Negan gets the blankets?” Deciding to ask, you offer the woman a smile.
Which she retributes. “Sure. Come.” The woman tilts her head to the side, and you look at Negan, only following her when he nods.
The woman guides you into a house, showing you a power plug. “You can use this one.”
“Thank you.” You mutter, plugging it and sitting on the armchair next to it.
The woman stays there, and you raise your eyes to look at her. “So it's true.” She says after a while, curiously. “There is a girl with Negan after all. Unless you're being forced to be here, putting on an act.”
“An act?” Squinting, you shrug your shoulders. “Why would I do that? Why would Negan force me–”
“Well, in his defense, he was always against any kind of abuse to women. Never allowing his men to force women into any kind of sexual interactions, going as far as killing those who did or tried.”
Her words get to you slowly, as you try to process all this. His men? Was he some kind of leader before? Before, as in before the world broke? No, probably after. Before probably mean before you. “Mmm... I was alone for a long time. I got hurt and stumbled upon the cabin. Didn't know he was in there. He took me in and we've been... Together ever since.”
“Together as in together? Or just together?”
Why does she care? Why is she asking so many questions? “We're together.” You're careful not to put any kind of intonation on it. She's free to understand it however she likes.
“Then he told you who he was. What he did.” She steps closer, a hard expression on her face as she looks down at you. “Why nobody wants him here.”
Standing back up, you face her. Even though she's taller. “I don't know what you're trying to do here. If you're into Negan or if–”
“Negan had an army.” She cuts you off, raising her voice. It feels like she's your mother, that warning tone that makes you want to sit down and listen to the lecture with your mouth shut. “He terrorized us, other communities as well. He killed many of our people. He took our things, the things we worked hard to get, just to burn them on the side of the road. He almost made one of ours cut off his own son's arm.”
“What..?” It comes out a shallow breath, as you step back, falling on the armchair. There are tears in your eyes, and the man you love turns into a monster, made up by this woman's words. You know he did bad things... but not this. This is too much. “H-he couldn't.”
“Yeah... Guess he didn't tell you that part of his story.”
×
@kxylx996 @sugarcoateddreamer
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stitchlingbelle · 3 months
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Watching Avatar, the Grand Finale
I am NOT ready for this show to be over and I'm sure once I've sat with it a bit I'll be brimming with takes and hooking myself to AO3 with an IV. For now, let's see how they stuck the landing.
18. “Sozin’s Comet, Part 1: The Phoenix King”: Yikes, what an opener. When did Ozai go batshit? I never understand the burn it all down mentality from people who want to rule—what are you ruling over at that point?? Isn’t the point of your power-hunger to, you know, EXERT that power? Over other people? Can’t do that if they’re dead! I don’t envy Aang his moral decision here, especially since, again. He is 12. My kid is older! (Barely.) Loved the bit about Zuko being the expert Aang tracker, which, fair, glad he’s using it for good now. Adored seeing June again, she’s great fun. (Where is Iroh??) What IS this ambulant island Aang just found himself on? Oh well, at least it’s nice to have our boy back in focus after the last few Zuko-themed episodes. Not sure if Azula should be pleased about being Firelord if Firelord just became a subordinate position. Nor do I think this is going to go well. The Phoenix King reveal was creepy and well-done. (I keep forgetting that’s Mark Hamill and freaking out a little bit when I see it in the credits.)
19. “Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters”: IROH’S BACK. I legitimately cried when he grabbed Zuko and hugged him. It was lovely seeing the mentor squad and having the White Lotus stuff pay off. (Please let Iroh have his tea shop back!) The plan to split the group sounds interesting and also like a good storytelling choice, allowing Aang to go face off with Ozai without the others complicating the scene. The past Avatars were interesting, although Aang doesn’t seem to notice that none of them actually SAY to kill Ozai—they tell him to act, to be decisive, and to put his responsibilities before himself. Also, I will exempt the lion turtle from my usual cries of “wtf is with the ANIMALS on this SHOW” because as a Discworld fan I am predisposed to believe in giant magical turtles that carry landmasses around.  
20. “Sozin’s Comet, Part 3: Into the Inferno”: Annnnd here we go. This was intense, although since we watched all four parts in a row, it was less cliff-hanger-y than it could have been. Iroh and team were obviously the optimistic part of the episode, giving you something hopeful before SLAPPING YOU IN THE FACE with the other three plotlines. Azula’s breakdown I did NOT see coming, and while it was a little abrupt and convenient, the paranoia does make sense as both a fatal flaw and a logical reaction to Mai and Ty Lee’s rebellion. (Also she 100% would have tried to blast Katara regardless of her state of mind, I don’t know why they didn’t see that coming.) Sokka/ Toph/ Suki’s plotline was actually the most wrenching, to me—the stakes were obvious and sickening, they were horrifically outnumbered, and the sense of danger felt very real. (They didn’t kill Suki, right? Guess I’ll find out in like twenty minutes but still.) Aang’s part of the story didn’t have much—I was proud of his stand and the fight kicked off well, I appreciated the lightning redirect, but I feel like the meat is coming in the next episode. This was just a fight scene so far, albeit a good one.
21. “Sozin’s Comet, Part 4: Avatar Aang”: I’m not ready for this to be over. Here we go. Again, the liberation of Ba Sing Se was just a grace note against the other fights, though I’m always happy to see Iroh and the mentor squad in action. (Belatedly it occurs to me that it would’ve been nice to see an old woman in that squad…) LOVED Katara’s defeat of Azula, immersing them like that was very cool. (What happened to Azula after all this? I hope Aang took her firebending too, or she’s going to be a problem.) Sokka and Toph continued to be the most intense part of the fighting for me. That broken leg, clinging to each other’s hands moment was very visceral, maybe because it wasn’t magic in nature. We can all picture broken bones and falling from great heights, you know? Thrilled that Suki survived and rescued them. (But kinda bummed Sokka lost his boomerang and sword). Aang reactivating the Avatar State at last was a fantastic OH SHIT moment. Just the way it went from “these guys are almost evenly matched” to “Ozai done fucked up” in a heartbeat was intensely satisfying. I was also happy with Aang getting to find a third path—taking Ozai’s bending was a very elegant solution. (And arguably an even more fitting punishment, since Ozai will suffer more in powerless disgrace than he ever would just dying. “To the pain” and all that jazz.) From a purely aesthetic view, I was happy when the comet left just because I was tired of the screen being solid orange for like an hour, but it did leave me with a lot of questions about the orbital mechanics here. (Are there fics with spacebenders? Please say yes.) The rest of the episode felt like it went really quickly, trying to wrap up in the leftover time—WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DON’T FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ZUKO’S MOM. Seriously??? Fine, fine, that’s what we call a sequel hook, I guess. But at least the final scene AT THE TEA SHOP YAY so happy for Iroh—ahem. At least the final scene was really cute. An expanded version of the Gaang, having fun together, getting to be kids again, getting to be friends, family (and eventually more, for Aang and Katara). Just getting to live. That’s what all the fighting was for. And there’s still magic in the world, and they can still fly. What more can you dream of?
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tim-writes-a-lot · 2 months
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Oh No! Nalfeshnee!
The hapless bard walked slowly through the forest, a mighty plastic long sword gripped tightly in his sweaty hands. Hey, what did you expect? He usually just carried the weapon for show.
Why was he so nervous? This hero thing can't be so hard, thought the bard-turned-sellsword. Besides, how bad could a Nalfeshnee be? Such a garbled name must come from a fairly weak creature.
But this beast had attacked a small group of travelers on the nearby trail. So when the cute barmaid at the ale house had twirled a finger in her hair and tilted her head just so, he couldn't help but say yes to whatever she asked. In this case it was to go take care of whatever had tormented and apparently even killed several unfortunate wanderers. Besides, after two weeks of performing at this bar he needed something new to bring a bit of excitement to his life.
After a half hour of walking back and forth from the trail and through the forest all that he had found so far was boredom. This Nalfeshnee thing must have seen him coming and became scared and ran off. He aimlessly stepped into a forest clearing for the fourth time already today.
Maybe I'll work on my new song a bit more while I waste my time...
"I woke up one fine mornin'
And what did I see?
That cute little barmaid
Was sleepin' with me.
I had courted her with poems
I flirted and she laughed
I sang her a sweet tune
And then made a slick pass
Took her back to my place
She was a ball of fire in bed
Made my mind go a reelin'
She gave the best...HOLY SHIT!"
He was not sure if he sang the words "holy shit." He was dead certain that it wasn't the lyric he had intended to sing. He was also sure it didn't matter much right now. He was also pretty sure he now knew what a Nalfeshnee looked like. Especially since it stood snarling before him. He was not sure at all whether he had soiled his pants, but the odds that it had actually happened were currently running down his leg.
What stood before him was best described as a cross between an ogre and a wild boar but with wings that seemed way-too-small to be useful on its back. It was drooling worse than the seamstress he had taken to bed a few months back in the village of Charcoal Cross. It was also much uglier than the local he assumed was not fully human that he had slept with while passing through the town of Mossy Oak three weeks ago. In other words, even a bard with such questionable standards would not have slept with a Nalfeshnee. It was just gross. Oh, and very angry, we can not forget the angry part.
He held up his plastic sword, which strangely enough, looked like a large butter knife. The demon standing before him almost looked happy to see the bard try to defend himself. It swung a powerful clawed hand and shattered the blade instantly, sending bits of white plastic flying everywhere. A hoofed leg then kicked the helpless pretend-sellsword to the ground. Was it laughing at him or does this freaking thing just sound like this when it breathes?
What the bard thought were his final thoughts began running through his head. Why did he let the cute barmaid talk him into such a quest? Well, because she was a lot better looking than the people that usually enjoyed his talents as he skipped from town to town bringing laughter, catchy rhymes and really way-out-of-key singing. Maybe she was not all that she seemed, could it have been a spell, or some potion? He should have suspected as much, no one that pretty usually talked to him, not even after his best performances. His next thought was that maybe he should have stuck with what he was good at, or at least halfway decent at... or maybe just acceptable at... but you know what he means, right? Fighting an angry Nalfeshnee wasn't exactly in his upper skill set, entertaining townsfolk that were rarely sober, that was more in his comfort zone.
He looked up and watched the beast open its pointy-sharp-toothed jaws wide and swing its clawed hand back for another swipe. The air around him seemed to begin crackling. A bright flash caused him to close his eyes. He thought: Is this what happens when you die? But he then heard a sound from the Nalfeshnee that was more one of surprise than crazed anger.
He opened his eyes to see the beast writhing in pain, then out of the corner of the bard's eye he saw her. She was glorious. Dark flowing hair that seemed to twinkle as if it was made of strings of black opals. Soft dark skin, how was it glowing? Was she glowing? Is this an angel, come to save me? Her ears were pointed and jutting through the black opal hair on either side of her head. Her flowing outfit concealed much of her form, but the stunned bard knew he would never see anything more beautiful in his entire life. How much of that life was left, he wasn't sure of. He let his eyes close again as the sounds of a very one-sided battle ripped through the forest clearing.
Minutes later? Hours later? Lifetimes later? He didn't know, he just felt a soft hand on his cheek and heard a voice. He slowly opened his eyes and saw her leaning over him. He croaked out a few words “My angel, my savior...”
“Oh, shut up, you silly fool, I'm no angel, you should see me in a library.” She seemed to laugh at some sort of inside joke before speaking to him again. “Consider yourself lucky I could not only hear, but could also smell that foul wretched beast from the nearby trail. Otherwise you may have become that demon's lunch.”
He kept staring at his savior and mumbling “Angel, you are... saved me... thank... the goddess Meilikki herself has protected me... so beautiful...you are...”
“Goddess may be right, but the name is Zelpha. And you are crazy, and most-likely have a concussion, not to mention various other bruises and lacerations. I will get my mount and get you to a village for care and rest. Please don't play the hero again. The next time you may not be so lucky.”
The banged-up bard continued to babble about the pretty dark angel elf that lit up the sky with fire. Finally, after about the twentieth time he thanked her and said she was beautiful, she glanced around quickly to make sure no one was watching and then cast a Silence spell on the deranged adventurer. “That's much better,” she said and went about the business of getting this half broken man to a village.
He woke up in a soft bed at the inn of the next village along the trail. He had been dreaming of fireballs and pretty elves and foul smelling demons. He opened his eyes for the first time in three days only to be disappointed. The old motherly face of the inn keeper glanced back. Oh how he wanted to see another face, a prettier face... a... “Glad to see you finally awake, good Sir. The lady that dropped you off left a few coins and dealt me a good bit of persuasion to see to your recovery. Rest up, lad, you are safe now.”
Several weeks later he found himself in a country pub, performing and entertaining and bringing laughs to the townsfolk. Had he learned a lesson? I would say so. He sung his latest song to the sparse crowd. Laughter, at his own expense, but hey, it was a living, which is much better than a dying!
“One fine spring day
I ventured into the woods
It was time to be a hero
To deliver the goods
But a demon arrived
Put me in a fear-filled trance
Broke my favorite sword
And made me piss my pants
But a goddess came along
Cast spell after spell
Knocked out the demon
And sent him back to hell
She was glorious and pretty
Saving my soul and my life
I just wish I could thank her
And sing this song to her some night!”
As applause and laughter rose from the crowd, he spied at the back of the pub a figure so out of place he could not miss it. It was her... she still looked like she was glowing to him, but he also noticed she was laughing. She was laughing!
By the time he got to the back of the pub she was gone. At least he felt like, in his own strange way, he was finally able to thank her, even if it was with a silly song.
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theyre-just-blocks · 3 years
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Different relationships on the Dream SMP but they’re Glass Animals songs. 
No, I haven’t read Heatwaves, no I’m not doing this because of Heat Waves, this is just for fun because I love the band and their music and some of their songs actually fit character relationships in the Dream SMP really well. 
Reminder! This is based on their characters in the SMP, not the actual ccs themselves. It would be weird if it wasn’t and quite frankly the songs wouldn’t fit if that were the case. 
Relationship: Sam & Ponk
Song: Pork Soda
What It’s About: A loving relationship between two lovers who slowly started to fall out of love, leading one of them to want what the relationship used to be. 
Why It Fits: I mean, the song meaning is pretty much what’s going on with the two right now. They had a nice, loving dynamic that quickly turned to the worse thanks to the Egg and the Prison corrupting the both of them. The narrator, obviously, would be Ponk, who got the short end of the stick when it came to the complications of the relationship. And I just think it would be funny to have ‘lemon’ instead of ‘pineapple.’ 
Some Lyrics:
You took my hand and you made me run, up past the prison to the seafront
Why can’t we laugh now like we did then? How come I see you and ache instead?
Maybe you’re fucking scum, don’t you go psycho chum
I want you for the world, I want you all the time (stop)
I won’t forget how you looked at me then
Relationship: DreamXD & George
Song: Holiest
What It’s About: A relationship between two lovers, one who is annoyed with the other’s antics, who is preoccupied in their dreams, goals, and ideals, comparing them to a child.
Why It Fits: I really only chose this song for the two because DreamXD is kind of a god on the SMP, so I went, “Okay god, they’ve got a song called ‘Holiest’, that fits.” But I also think it fits in the way that DreamXD basically simps for George and in the song one of the individuals seems to beg the other that they can be different. I think it would be a sort of, “You’re not him,” kind of thing, basically.
Some Lyrics:
Be a part of the scene like you're living your dream, Walk the room like you're on fire, Like your chasing the truth, gripping tight to your youth
Babe, I'm not what you think, Come on, listen to me
Now all I do is feel afraid
Can't you see that I'm here, Can't you see I've been played
But you're the holiest thing I know, Yes, you're the holiest thing, holiest thing I know
Relationship: Schlatt & Quackity
Song: Cacao Hooves
What It’s About: Possibly about the internal conflict of someone who has done a lot of bad things in the past (though not confirmed).
Why It Fits: Even if the song is mainly for one’s internal conflicts, I felt like it fit Schlatt and Quackity’s external ones with each other. For one, the character in the song is an ‘old goat’, perfect for Schlatt, then there’s a comment about setting wings on fire, perfect for Quackity. The internal conflict in the song would be the two going back and forth with the White House, especially since there’s a line about not fighting back/using bows and arrows. I just thought it was perfect. 
Some Lyrics:
This old goat with beard of grey, He turns his leather gripped cane
You never fight back, Why don’t you play with bows and arrows?
Why don’t you play nice? Why don’t you toy with sex and violence?
Why don’t you set your wings on fire?
Relationship: Dream & Fundy
Song: Flip
What It’s About: The narrator is making plans on getting revenge on someone who had wronged/harmed them in the past.
Why It Fits: While most of the lyrics don’t really fit, and Fundy hasn’t made a move to get back at Dream for what happened at the Wedding, the idea behind the song, I felt fit the two. If given the chance, I’m sure that Fundy would’ve gotten revenge on Dream, seeing as he did so with L’Manburg during Doomsday. It would be from Fundy’s perspective and it puts a new spin on the idea of a Fox Hunt. 
Some Lyrics:
I wanna take to my guns and break you, I gotta make my little foe take his own
I’m gonna go back, I’m gonna go back, I’m gonna go back to a face no more mask
I was in full bloom until I met you, I’m gonna shake my fetters, I’m breaking loose
Relationship: Quackity, Karl, & Sapnap
Song: Tangerine
What It’s About: The narrator sings about some that they’ve know who’s taken a turn for the worse, changing due to different events, but the narrator still has the hope that things could be the same.
Why It Fits: This song fits so well, lyric and beat wise. It’s so preppy and fun like them, despite the lyrics being so down. For this, it would be Karl and Sapnap’s take on Quackity’s spiral with torturing Dream and setting up Las Nevadas. They’re wondering what happened to him and still have hope that maybe they could get him back, basically. 
Some Lyrics: 
I can't keep on making you happy 'cause you got issues with your daddy
But I wish I could show you more of yourself, I wish I could make you somebody else. But I left it way too late. Are you stuck in your own ways?
You let the devil in, and all you talk is money, money, money, money, money, It's so funny how it changes how you feel
Where are you? What happened? I want what we had. Where you gone? Where you hidin'?
Hands, knees, please, tangerine, come on back to me. Got what I need, tangerine, do this for me
Relationship: Puffy & Niki
Song: Agnes
What It’s About: The narrator is trying to pull out another from an addiction, which has steadily ruined their relationship a bit.
Why It Fits: This one is just a bit of a stretch, but it works. It would be from Puffy’s POV as she’s trying to get Niki back to the way she once was, before Doomsday, before finding out about Wilbur, and before being obsessed with killing Tommy. In the song, the person being sung about has an addiction, so I figured that could be replaced with her want to kill Tommy. So it’s Puffy trying to bring her back, but at the same time, Puffy is unsure about what she’s doing. 
Some Lyrics:
Calm down now, stop and breathe a second? Go back to the very beginning. Can't you see what was different then?
To be reborn, I want to hold you like you're mine
You see the sad in everything. A genius of love and loneliness
Where went that cheeky friend of mine? Where went that billion-dollar smile?
You're gone but you're on my mind. I'm lost but I don't know why
Relationship: Bad & Skeppy
Song: JDNT
What It’s About: Though not confirmed, the song could be about a narrator who is putting on a brave face, but is ready to crack under the stress at any minute. 
Why It Fits: This one is also a stretch, it was kind of hard to find a song that fit the two. However, with the Egg, I think that this song works well for them. Though I couldn’t find a solid meaning behind the lyrics, I figured that if we took their arc with the Egg, it would work. I think the song would be from both of their POVs, with the story idea behind Skeppy being stuck in the Egg and Bad giving himself to the Egg in return of getting his friend back. 
Some Lyrics:
I've got my old helmet on, Keeping out an eye, Puffing all my feathers up
Please, it's not okay. Oh, can't you feel your dirty face? Oh, don't it leave that filthy taste?
Where my funny friends gone? You're in paradise. Who gon' plant the flowers, huh?
I shut my wild eyes, and crumble to a pile of dust and fertilise
Relationship: Quackity & Glatt
Song: Your Love (Deju vu)
What It’s About: Being caught up in a relationship you know is toxic, but somehow you can’t seem to cut that person out of your life.
Why It Fits: I think the meaning of the song fits them pretty well as we all know that relationship was toxic as hell. But in this sense, it’s Glatt, so even more so, Quackity’s still coming back to him even when Schlatt is dead and now a ghost. Though their relationship during Schlatt’s time alive was terrible, Quackity still went to Schlatt and decided to work with him. Also, it’s got a line about eating and I just thought it would fit in the whole ‘heart eating’ sense. 
Some Lyrics:
And I'm backsliding into this just one more time
You go back there when you're done, Don't you want some more?
Maybe in time, When we're both better at life, daylight can open my eyes, and you'll still be by my side
Night by night, I let you eat me alive, I want you to eat me alive
Relationship: Dream & George
Song: Heatwa - [gunshot]
Nah, jk, here’s their song.
Relationship: Dream & George
Song: The Other Side of Paradise
What It’s About: Though I’m not entirely sure, but I think that the song focuses around a relationship that slowly deteriorated due to one of the individuals moving on for a more grander, luxurious life. 
Why It Fits: Dream would be the individual in the relationship who went to go chase after a fancy life, thus ruining the relationship. The "fancy life" in this case would be the power and control he sought over members of the server, which ultimately got him locked up. So I think it would be in George's POV, but that's basically why I thought the song would fit the two. 
Some Lyrics:
He told me, "Please, don't worry", wise little smile that spoke so safely 
Caught up in a rush, it's killing you
I miss him, don't you blame me? That boy went stone cold crazy, Caught up in camera lust, He's chasing that pappy pipe dream
I know you don't but I-I know you don't but I still try
Curled up in a grip when we were us, fingers in a fist like you might run, I settle for a ghost I never knew, super paradise I held on to, but I settle for a ghost
I know I should probably post my thoughts on Quackity's stream, but I started this a few days ago and only finished it today, so take it now.
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angelhummel · 2 years
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i just saw a post on pinterest that was entitled "the power of finn" and explaining how finn "gave everyone the courage to follow their dreams and be themselves" and the points made were:
"finn inspired rachel to believe in herself" he literally couldn't think of one thing she was good at besides singing
"finn saved sam from a life as a male stripper on kentucky" which might be the funniest sentence i've ever read but. finn didn't get sam to "save him" he just needed a 12th member for sectionals
"finn was the reason why schue continued to teach the NDs" this one is kinda true i guess?? the don't stop believing performance was finn's idea and it was what made schue stay so
"finn defended kurt against his homophobic tormentors" FINN WAS KURT'S HOMOPHOBIC TORMENTOR!!! he called him the f slur in his own home! he conspired to keep kurt away from sam bc he didn't want sam to be weirded out by him (bc can you imagine a straight guy not being weirded out by singing a song with a gay guy)
"finn gave santana the courage to come out" the fuck he did??? he literally OUTED HER TO THE ENTIRE STATE OF OHIO!!! oh no wait how could i forget he then proceeded to sing a slowed down version of girls just wanna have fun so :)
"finn supported quinn through her teenage pregnancy"... didn't he threw her out (i'm actually asking i have no idea)
anyways sorry for the size of this ask, love your blog ❤
alkhfskjdfhksj pinterest is SO fucking funny omg. The comments on that site are literally some of the most brain dead takes you've ever seen in your life. I like to read em just for a laugh sometimes
Like something that completely tone deaf and dumb just HAS to be a parody but also like. You never know because some people really are That Stupid. So you just can't be sure
And yeah about Quinn. She stayed with him for like three weeks I think. And then he found out the baby wasn't his and yeah, I understand getting pissed off for being lied to about something so serious. But he had absolutely nothing to do with her once he found out the truth. And then he only wanted anything to do with her in s2 bc he had a chance to hook up with her and get her to cheat on Sam at the same time lmao. Quinn literally points out how hurt and upset he was when he knew she cheated, so why is he willing to do the same thing to another guy? And Finn is basically like "cause you're cheating WITH me this time" lol
And it's so funny cause like. When they're grasping at straws in 2009 to come up with positive things to say about Finn (bc we went back in time so Finn isn't the saintlike god of the glee club who can never do anything wrong. not yet) Artie is the only one that can think of a genuinely good thing Finn did. Kurt is like "he let me take off my expensive jacket before standing complicity by while his friends threw me in a dumpster". And Mercedes is like "he COULD'VE called me fat. but he didn't". What a gentleman. And Tina just thinks he's cute. And Rachel wants to have his babies. So... 1/5 can think of an actual good thing to say about him. And honestly they're still trying to push his sainthood status like canonically before the show even ever really started. I hate it
Anyway don't worry about how long the ask was bc it gave me a good laugh lmao. Finn is such a fucking moron and that post only manages to highlight why he sucks so fucking bad. I sincerely hope whoever made it did it as a joke but. You honestly can't be certain
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anyoneseenadam · 3 years
Text
Home: Chapter Seven
azriel x reader (acotar)
summary: (y/n) is a daughter of Persephone, still recovering from the trauma of her fall into Tartarus and doesn’t have time for a stupid, handsome, annoying, stunning, injured man. But now they’re stuck together in the middle of nowhere and there only chance of getting home is if she can heal him, and fast.
warnings: big spoilers for mark of Athena and house of Hades, also for the acotar series, eventual smut, blood, PTSD, graphic descriptions of violence, injuries and torture, enemies to lovers so az is a bit of a dick to start, swearing, 
word count: 3.9k
a/n: I’m entirely writing this to distract myself from the real world but honesty I’m having a great time, I think there will be one more chapter after this one and maybe an epilogue but asides from that, also feel free to message or ask if you want to be tagged :)) anyway enjoy and pls comment and shiz :)
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Azriel had once joked that you were like an actual flower, needing water and sunlight to use your powers. At the time you had laughed but now as you stood in front of the mirror, wiping the tears from under your eyes, and preparing to walk into the world of all things dead, you understood. The dress you wore was one of the few fancy ones you reserved for the dinners you were often dragged to before your fall. It was lavender, with tulle cascading down your legs from the waist, paired with a tight corset top and tulle off-the-shoulder sleeves. As you sat with a ‘humph’ and started applying your makeup, your stepbrother walked in.
“Well you look cheery,” Nico said, sitting on your bed.
“I look like an evil power puff girl,”
“You look like you are a princess, which you are so my dad is going to be pleased.”
“I really don’t care what he thinks,” you snapped, and Nico help up his hands. He was wearing all black as usual, simple dress pants and a loose black shirt tucked in, his belt matched his rings, and his dark hair and even darker eye bags made him look every bit the Underworld prince. “Sorry, I’m not mad at you,” you said turning back around to carry on with your makeup.
“I know, it’s stressful for you,” he moved to sit next to you, resting his head on your shoulder and you applied eyeliner.
“I don’t wanna get sick again, I have things to do. Plus I’ve got to convince your dad to let me ask for this favour. I just feel like it’s all going to go to shit.”
“I get it, you’ll be fine though. Also I’m pretty sure your mum is going to do anything for you if it means you’ll speak to her again, so she’ll be on your side at least. That’s three vs one.” He nudged you as you put down the eyeliner.
“That’s true.” You bit the inside of your lip and Nico, sensing your worry, changed topic.
“Tell me about Azriel,” He said, and you caught his eye in the mirror.
“Huh?”
“Well I gotta make sure that when you become his problem it will be permanent, I don’t want you coming back,” he joked.
“Fuck you,” you laughed shoving his shoulder and he giggled, rolling onto his back.
“I don’t want to do thisssss,” Nico said in a sing-song voice lying flat on the floor.
“Me neither but I’m not going in alone bitch,” you laughed, starting to feel slightly better. It was moments like this that made you regret pushing your friends away, the thought of seeing them was always scary but when you were with your brother again you remembered why you loved them so much. You assessed your outfit in the mirror and sighed.
“What?” Nico asked, sitting back up.
“This would look really nice with a dark red lip,” you said, biting your lip.
“Do you have one?” he asked, and you nodded. He was quiet for a second before reaching out and ruffling through your makeup, finding your favourite red lipstick. “Do you wanna try?”
“Yeah, but if I cry it’ll mess up my eyeliner.” You said with a shaky laugh. He laughed quietly handing you the lipstick and you looked at him in the mirror, taking in a shuddering breath. You were stronger than this and you could handle it. You closed your eyes for a minute, counting your breaths, before opening the lipstick.
Once it was applied you lifted your chin, staring down the girl in the mirror. Nico grabbed your hand softly and you tore your eyes away, standing and pulling on your shoes.
“Are you ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.”
--
Azriel was in a shit mood. He was 90% sure that you had cast some sort of spell on him when he was with you, something that made him happy and relaxed, because now that you weren’t here he pretty much wanted to throttle everyone.
Amren had been helping him look for a way to get back to you. The first thing they had tried was winnowing, he pictured your face; your smile, the way your hands felt in his, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t reach you. So they had been scanning books since then, reading up on every theory and myth. Nesta had brought him to speak to Gwyn who had told him about the theory that there could be up to at least 20 other worlds. Amren had also made him talk through every detail about this world he could remember, writing diligent notes as Cassian gave him weird looks when he spoke about Bucky Barnes.
“He’s a character, it’s a simple concept.”
“Yeah but how do you get an emotional connection to a character?”
“Shut up both of you.”
The pain in his chest was only growing as well, and he came to the daunting realisation that if he failed this; if he couldn’t get back to you, or get you back to him, he would probably have to deal with it for the rest of his long, long life.
He felt bad for taking his frustrations out on his family who were just worried about him, but he had never felt this way before. All he could think of was the way your eyes cleared when the realisation dawned on you. The way you had gone from sobs to a different, all-consuming kind of pain, just for a second, your eyes clearing as you realised you might never see him again. He hated himself for not being strong enough to put up a fight, he knew he wasn’t a match for a god, but he should’ve tried, he was too shocked at the time, too heartbroken, but now he was terrified that you might think he gave up on you. He had to get back to you, he was afraid what you might do if you were alone again. If you were alone after having the bond dangled in front of you, only to have it ripped away moments later.
It was almost 3am and everyone else in the house had gone to bed, but Azriel didn’t sleep well normally, and he especially wouldn’t while he was apart from you. He looked up from his book when he heard someone clear their throat, his head whipped up an incredulous smile gracing his features when he saw you sitting there.
“Baby,” he started moving forward but you held your hand up, stopping him.
“Oh that’s just too sweet, you kids are giving me so much content,” you dabbed at your eyes, and Azriel frowned.
“(y/n)? what’s going on?”
“Oh I’m not (y/n) sweetie, but that’s just adorable. My name is Aphrodite, Goddess of love and beauty, I often appear as whoever you find most beautiful.” Azriel’s heart dropped, the brief happiness he felt seeing your face gone as the lady spoke.
“Aphrodite? Hermes mentioned you.” He said, tensing as he realised he was dealing with another god. “In fact he said it was your fault this all happened.”
“Oh Hermes, always blaming someone else. You should be thanking me.”
“And why would I do that.” Azriel knew the look on his face was deadly, but something about seeing a god cower under his gaze was feeding his ego.
“Haven’t you worked out why you can’t travel back to her.” She raised her eyebrows at him, her expressions may be on your face, but as he paid more attention she seemed like a completely different person. “I have the power to move through world’s, you do not. I just thought that poor, sweet girl had been through enough that she should get to meet her soulmate. I waited for you after your mission and then just made you forget and let the two of you fall in love naturally, I mean I get teary eyed thinking about it, you’re just too cute!”
Azriel’s shoulders relaxed slightly, “So why are you here? Are you going to bring her to me?”
“Hmm I could, but I’d get in so much trouble, plus she’s very smart and I want to see if her plan works. You people are so very entertaining.” Her face rippled for a second as she turned, and she briefly looked like Mor, then Elain, then back to you. “But you, poor boy,” He chose to ignore the condescending tone, “You were dealt a very bad hand love wise, so maybe if she doesn’t succeed I could pull a few strings, but I do have a holiday planned so it may be a few decades.”
Her laugh made him feel sick and he glared at her, “What did you say about her plan?”
“Oh yes! She’s going down to the underworld to try find a solution,” Aphrodite was moving around the room gracefully as Azriel sat back down, the weight of Aphrodite’s easy words hitting him. She picked up one of the books laying on the desk and made an unimpressed noise, throwing it back down carelessly.
“That’s where the dead go right?” he asked, silently praying he was wrong,
“Yup! Don’t worry though, her mother lives there too,” she said ‘mother’ with a slight snarl, but Azriel ignored her. “You know I get why she likes you, you’re very pretty aren’t you?” She walked over to him, swaying your hips and he had to remind himself it wasn’t you as she sat down in his lap, forcing his hands to stay clenched at his side. She ran your hand along his jaw, tilting her head with a smile as she stroked his face. Her thumb rested on his bottom lip as he glared at her with murderous rage, trying to reel it in as he remembered she was possibly the only one that could help him.
“Well I guess I better go,” She sighed dramatically then pressed a perfectly polished gold coin into his hand, “Flip this if you need me, emergencies and sex only.” She winked at him, before kissing his cheek and standing, waving seductively before vanishing. Azriel sat for a few minutes, reeling from the interaction he just had. Is this the world I’ve entered now? Gods who can do whatever they want? He wondered if that’s why you avoided talking about the Gods, if maybe growing up with this had made you bitter to them. He wanted to ask you and talk to you about it, or anything for that matter but instead he just pocketed the coin and stood, winnowing to his room, and collapsing on his bed.
--
“Sweetie, you look beautiful,” Your mother cried out as you and Nico arrived, you were leaning heavily on his arm, while surrounded by death, the coldness of a lifeless place seeped into your bones and weakened you, you had learnt as much the first time you visited. You gave your mother a tight-lipped smile and hugged her awkwardly.
“Oh I missed you so much dear,” she stroked your hair, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes.
“You could’ve visited.” It was hard to keep the bitterness out of your voice, after all you had gone through and she hadn’t visited once. A look of shock passed over her face but before she could reply Hades thundered in, his usual outfit, ‘the robes of death and despair’ as you fondly called them, were replaced by a dark suit, his hair slicked back from his face. He came to Persephone’s side and rested a hand around her waist pulling her in slightly, and despite yourself you felt a little jealous of their closeness as your mother looked up at him with doe eyes.
“Nico, my son, how are you?” Hades deep voice silenced the room, the very air seeming to stand still, and Nico flushed red as he was put on the spot. The four of you exchanged pleasantries as you made your way to the ridiculously long table, Hades sat at the head on one side, Persephone on the other, with Nico and you facing each other in the centre. The wood was dark, but the table was covered in all sorts of colourful food and you all helped yourselves while making small talk, only managing to hear your parents due to the eery silence of the room, dead guards not needing to make any noise.
After the first few courses and once you had consumed enough white wine to gain some courage you turned to face your mother.
“Mum, I think I need a favour if that’s okay?” you asked with great caution, extremely aware of the powerful forces surrounding you.
“Well that depends dear. What is it?”
“After the battle and the… fall, I never got my reward remember, I instead asked to be able to come get it when I needed it.”
“Yes of course, I thought that was very smart!” your mother spoke cheerfully but you could feel Hades’ gaze on your back, burning through your skin and bones to the very essence of your soul. “Let me guess, you need it now?”
“If that’s okay, some things have changed recently and I now know what I need,” you smiled at her, “I met a man, well actually he’s a faerie. Aphrodite wanted us to meet because we’re soulmates and after my fall she thought I deserved to see him, but since he’s from another world he had to go back, and we can’t be together.” You wiped away a few stray tears you forced out; this was your game. Your mother didn’t visit you often so she had never seen this side of you, the side that could manipulate even a god into giving you what you wanted. “So I thought, maybe for my reward I could become Fae and be permitted to live with Azriel in his world, and maybe come and visit my friends occasionally?”
“Oh that sounds lovely dear! That’s so alike me, I had to beg my mother and even then she didn’t let me stay here,” your mother rattled on and you smiled at her, but your shoulders were still tense as you knew you hadn’t won yet. You turned to where Hades sat, rubbing his temples.
“I get it. I do. But I really don’t think my brother would allow that, it’s too much.”
“Too much?” you asked, a bitter laugh escaping.
“I understand you went through a lot,”
“Do you?” you couldn’t stop the biting words, “Because the last I checked you both sat and did nothing while I was tortured down there. You could’ve done something, but you didn’t, you made a choice not to, and now I ask for ONE thing, and it’s too much?” Hades’ glare was murderous, but you weren’t going to back down.
“I mean if you really think about it, I’ll be out of your hair if you agree. One less demi-god always seems to be a win for you guys.” Nico said your name in warning, but you slowly stood. “I am not asking for much, I am asking to be allowed to live a life with the man I love and after all I have been through, fighting YOUR battles, I think it’s the least I deserve.”
You held Hades’ gaze for a few more seconds until he spoke. “Are you sure your not a child of Nyx?” he asked, and you grinned, cocking your head to the side.
“Why would that be?”
“You have a pure evil streak in you girl and uncharted power. You better learn to control it, before someone catches on.”
“We won’t have a problem I’m presuming?”
“I’ll see what I can do,” he said gruffly, going back to his meal and you relaxed, moving to hug your mother goodbye, whispering thanks to her, before linking arms with Nico and leaving.
--
The next day you awoke to a golden invitation to Olympus, and you smiled, soon. You’d be with him soon.
--
Olympus looked much nicer since Annabeth had gotten involved. You may have been biased but it seemed to hold a sense of home it never had before, the clinical cleanliness now feeling purer and more loving. The throne room however had remained much the same.
You stood alone in the middle surrounded by the arc of thrones, but you refused to take your eyes of Zeus. You had received a wink from Apollo and a smile from Aphrodite as you walked in but beside that it had been eye contact for at least five minutes. You knew better to speak before you were spoken to but the way they surrounded you and stared down on you was bringing up bad memories and you were really fighting a panic attack.
Seemingly sensing this Apollo cleared his throat, “Perhaps we should start father?” While you were grateful a part of you hated how well the flirtatious god knew you, he was the first to tend to your wounds when you first escaped, healing them enough so you wouldn’t die from blood loss but not enough for anyone to suggest he was picking favourites. His warm hands had provided a sense of comfort you thought you had lost entirely.
Zeus nodded slowly, a letter appearing in his hand, “So these are your terms? Transformation into high Fae, permission to live in a new world with visits back to this one twice a year?” you presumed Hades, or your mother had written the letter, neither of them present currently. You nodded clearly, not entirely trusting your voice.
“I guess it’s only fair, but a full transformation will hurt,”
“I’m sure I can take it.” you lifted your chin, holding your shaking hands tightly in an attempt to conceal them.
Zeus laughed, not taking his eyes of you, “I’m sure you can. Does anyone have any major oppositions?”
Aphrodite raised her hand, “I’d like to add that during her transformation, her womb changes shape so she may birth Illyrian children.” You shot her a grateful look, still not entirely sure why she was suddenly so invested in ensuring your happiness, but you wouldn’t complain.
Hera was the next to speak and you fought the urge to roll your eyes, “Why is she getting special treatment again? What did she do that was so different?”
“She was tortured for days!” Athena exclaimed,
“So?” Ares now.
“She was a child, it was brutal.” Apollo jumped to your aid and soon the chamber was filled with shouting voices as they argued over your fate.
“SILENCE.” Zeus quieted the room instantly and every eye turned to him, but he remained focused on you, “Well then? Answer the question girl, what makes you so special?”
You thought for a second before answering, “I don’t consider it special treatment. After the battles I’ve fought and the pain I’ve endured to help your causes, I’d consider it a form of retirement.” You kept Zeus’ gaze and let a streak of the evil Hades had warned you off show, smiling when his smug smile disappeared. He waved his hand, “Very well then, High Fae with altered womb and permission to live in their world and visit our occasionally, that is all?”
You nodded and he assessed you before holding out his hand, his gaze darkening. You furrowed your eyebrows as your limbs started to tingle before pain took over your entire body.
--
You had felt pain so many times before, pain that left more than just physical trauma, but this was different. You felt as if your blood had become fire and every bone was breaking as new ones reformed. You didn’t have any sense of time or place, all you could feel was pain. At one point you thought it was over only to open your eyes, feeling impossibly soft sheets beneath you, and see Apollo hovering over you, sweat dripping from his brow as he took some of the pain away, even for just a moment.
When you finally awoke you were on the ground. You stood up quickly, almost knocking yourself over as your movement were much faster than usual. You were outside a glowing city, it didn’t have skyscrapers like New York, but it was so comforting to look at you felt yourself being drawn in. As you crossed the border however, a beautiful man with dark hair appeared, his eyes narrowing.
“Who are you and why are you trying to get in here?” A shot of fear went through you as you felt his magic, it was thick in the air and powerful.
“I’m not going to hurt anyone, I’m just looking for someone,” you explained, swallowing down the lump in your throat. The handsome man’s gaze turned vacant before softening after a moment.
“I apologise, I’m Rhysand. Let me help you find whoever it is, what’s their name?”
“That’s okay, really. His name is Azriel, but I don’t think he’s expecting me.” Rhysand stopped, his head turning towards you, “what is it?” you asked.
“(y/n)?”
“How do you know my name?” you stepped back but he held out his hands,
“No, no I’m Az’s brother, let me take you to him.” he grabbed your arm softly and suddenly you were standing in a warm room facing Azriel. You felt tears fill your eyes as you stared at him, he uttered your name in question and you nodded running into his arms, completely engulfed by his scent, tears of joy running down your face when you suddenly realised something, pulling away.
“Did you say brother?” you turned to Rhysand, feeling all the plants in the air respond to your calls, when Azriel tugged you back to him.
“Not biological don’t worry.” He whispered and Rhysand laughed.
“I like her.”
“Hmm I was two seconds away from castrating you,” His eyes widened slightly and you laughed, turning back to Azriel as he looked over you.
“How- you, you’re Fae?” His eyes were filled with worry again, afraid he was being tricked.
“I never got my reward remember, I knew I would need it in the future,” you smiled at him as he cupped your face and leaned down to kiss you. You pulled apart, Azriel growling when you heard catcalls, turning, and seeing the room had practically filled. A shot of fear went through you as your eyes landed on another man who had red siphons, and Azriel followed your gaze, a hand stroking your face in reassurance.
“So this must be (y/n), welcome to our home, I’m Feyre,” A beautiful woman stepped forward and clasped your hand in hers, which you noted were stained from paint. Everyone else soon made introductions and they urged you to sit as you found out about this makeshift family Azriel was in.
“Oh! That’ll be Nyx, I’ll go,” Feyre said when a baby started crying in the distance,
“Wait what did she say the babies name was?” You asked, holding in a laugh.
“Nyx?” Rhys said,
“Oh, course, cool cool cool,”
“What?” Azriel asked, looking at you strangely.
“I’ve kind of met her,”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, she’s like the evilest deity there is, and she did not like me,” Rhysand stared at you with a look of shock on his face, but before anyone said anything else, Amren was laughing loudly.
“You must tell me all about these Gods girl.”
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tags: @tastedlikedamnation
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iaintyourbro · 4 years
Text
The New Red Herrings: Biggs and Zack and How Avalanche Tells Us the LTD is Dead
Biggs and Zack are seemingly alive at the end of FFVII Remake Part 1 - so what does that mean? Will they live throughout the story? Maybe they’ll be like Wedge and escape death initially, only to be forced to face it shortly after?
There’s also interesting similarities on the death scenes of Biggs and Zack, A while ago I took screenshots of the “death” scene of Biggs and thought it was interesting how they had Biggs touch Cloud’s head and also made him promise something. 
And how are all these things connected to the LTD? 
Now, clearly, neither Biggs or Jessie had as dramatic of a death as Zack or Aerith. We actually see the initial injury or incident that causes each of them to die. Cloud comes upon Biggs while he’s already sitting down injured. Cloud and Tifa come to Jessie after she’s under the rubble and try to save her. 
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We know Cloud pretty much loses it when Zack dies. He collapses mentally. He’s already been through enough shit to fill a lifetime, and now his only friend, his best friend, and the guy who saved his life, dies trying to get them back to Midgar. 
Why Zack is Important to Cloud
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Relationship wise, Cloud obviously had a much deeper connection to Zack. At the point that Biggs dies, he doesn’t know any of that, but I think his death definitely triggers something in him. Biggs saw through Cloud’s front. We know Biggs dealt with the kids at the Leaf House, and most likely acted like a volunteer in the Big Brother program. He tells Cloud he’s got a lot in common with the kids at the Leaf House.
Zack had Cloud take on the responsibility to be his living legacy. Of course we all know he shuts down about five minutes later. Biggs had Cloud promise that this wouldn’t all be for nothing. In both cases, it doesn’t work out. He forgets what Zack told him and the Sector 7 plate still falls. 
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Zack’s death has a major impact on Cloud - it’s ultimately what breaks him. It also gives us these really sad moments of somebody who’s already been through so much and is breaking now. 
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Cloud is upset about Biggs. He was becoming his friend. The three Avalanche members really did accept Cloud and tried to be his friend. He was included with them - in most cases. Of course there’s the Avalanche party that he’s kicked out of (mind you - he does this to himself by acting like an ass to Barret and them) and then during Chapter 4, he’s separated to go steal Jessie’s dad’s ID. 
Ultimately, though, we know that Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie all like Cloud. They seem to see through the hard exterior pretty easily. So Cloud loses another person in his life.
The ending of FFVII Remake takes an interesting turn. Anybody who played OG or CC knows what is supposed to happen to Biggs and Zack.
But, Remake’s ending seems to imply that they survive the event that was supposed to take them out. 
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Did Zack survive the last stand? Is this a case of the Last Stand in CC being combined with OG where as they walk away, Zack ends up getting shot anyway? 
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So we also see Biggs.... wait, wrong picture.
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That’s the right one. We get a shot of Charlie Sheen Biggs waking up in a bed in what looks like some type of either infirmary or large room. In OG, we know that all three of the Avalanche members die during the Sector 7 plate fall. In Remake, the only one we get confirmation on is Jessie, and that’s only in the Chapter description. 
Wedge we know survives until the Shinra building, where the Whispers ultimately take him out since he defied fate. 
So, what will happen to Biggs?
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The biggest thing talked about seems to be the ending. Zack surviving created a lot of buzz. Is there a second timeline? Is he going to just simply walk another 10 feet and get shot in the back? Did her survive in the first place? Why does Stamp look different on that bootleg chip bag?
Will we have a beautiful Zerith reunion? 
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In the OG, the Love Triangle illusion was the red herring. This was mostly to trick and distract the player to focus on something, so later they can destroy you with major twists. It also was used to get the player to like Aerith so her death would be more impactful. In addition, it makes the whole Northern Crater confession from Cloud about Tifa’s opinion being the only one that matters a slam in your face of holy shit what is going on?!
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At this point, everybody and their mother knows Aerith dies. It’s not something that was kept a secret. It’s referenced in various materials. The one thing not openly referenced is what’s going on with Cloud. They never reference the Lifestream, the fake persona, or anything outside of the OG and Ultimanias. I think this is a shame since it’s such an important part of his character arc, but I get that they want to try and leave the element of surprise in play.
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I think everybody would agree that the moment you find out Cloud was just a grunt that was WITH Zack during the Nibelheim incident is super powerful. I still get chills all these years later. Letting this be a well known thing would take away the element of surprise from new fans. Of course, people can go online and read blogs like this one and know all of this, but for somebody - especially future generations - who may just be looking for a new game to play, you’d want this element of surprise to stay in tact. 
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We can’t use Aerith as the only red herring anymore, and we can’t use the love triangle. For many reasons. Everybody knows about it and the love triangle was a poor choice for something like this because some people missed the point completely.
Now, FFVII Twitter is always on fire. 
Also, even though the Lifestream and Cloud’s true identity are pretty well kept secrets in terms of printed media, most of the people who played FFVII Remake played the original game, they know what happens. People who were new and played Remake first most likely went and bought OG and played it. So now they know what happens. 
They knew this, or they probably wouldn’t have shown Cloud in this state, but even for those who don’t, the alternate timeline theory is born. Biggs enhances this theory because he’s alive too. How can Cloud walk past them AND be carried by Zack in some catatonic state?
It keeps us distracted. They want us to think that fate can be changed. In the case of Zack, they’re even saying that the past can be changed. 
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Ultimately, whatever they do, it’ll be shocking to most players. I do trust that the devs aren’t being deceitful when they say they are going to keep the major plot points the same and FFVII will be FFVII going forward. Part 1 keeps major plot points but adds substance to a lot of things. They took out unnecessary parts and enhanced others. They also removed a lot of the love triangle stuff. 
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Another striking thing with all of this is the Jessie factor. The Chapter screen tells us she died - it only says Biggs was seriously injured. That hasn’t stopped speculation.
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The ending shows gloves on the table next to Biggs’ bed and a lot people said oh it’s Jessie’s left glove! And it does appear that it is. There’s only one glove. To me, this seems like they recovered her body and were able to pull of some personal affects of hers to leave with Biggs. Both articles look damaged or faded. 
Faded could mean they’ve been sitting in the sun for a while. The incident happened a few days ago, though we don’t have a definitive time on when we’re shown Biggs. This could be a future look.
They also could simply be damaged and full of dust from the plate collapse. 
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It is implied in Chapter 4 if you listen to the conversation between Jessie’s mom and the gang that Biggs and Jessie have a different relationship than Wedge and Jessie. 
I have some thoughts on what this may mean:
Biggs is Jessie’s BFF and her mom likes him.
Jessie and Biggs dated at one point and decided to not tell her mom that they no longer are or that its casual.
Jessie’s mom was hounding Jessie about finding a man so she picked Biggs to be her pretend boyfriend and he agreed.
Biggs and Jessie are secretly dating and only her mom knows.
Which one do I think it is? Well, knowing Jessie, I can definitely see her doing #3. I can absolutely see her acting like Biggs is her boyfriend to get her mom off her back. I think #1 and #2 are also huge possibilities. #4 is far fetched, but they could cover it up by having Jessie flirt relentlessly with Cloud and appear to be single. 
Some people think that Jessie will end up at the Gold Saucer singing. Personally, I really hope not. If they keep a bunch of people alive (even if it’s for a short amount of time), it really takes away one of the major themes of FFVII which is death and moving on. In addition, I think it’s too many people they’d need to kill off later. Jessie is a very popular character, so I hope they don’t take that as an incentive to change that aspect of the story. 
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Aerith’s funeral and Jessie’s death are similar as well, so I think it is foreshadowing some things. 
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We get a princess style carry here. Aerith and Jessie both get these in Remake. Jessie’s second one ends in her death. Will Aerith get a second princess carry by Cloud? Will it be to take her to her final resting place?
Maybe she won’t even go to the lake - maybe to the sky?
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We know Tifa was super upset in OG, and they really don’t touch on it much. We only see her run away crying after this moment. You learn in Case of Tifa that she’s really upset about, but a lot of people don’t read Case of Tifa, so they only know this scene. 
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We know that she gets very upset over Jessie’s death.
I think Aerith’s death will be much worse. 
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It seems Jessie’s death is a reference to how Aerith’s death was handled in the OG.
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Will it be handled the same? Maybe. I think they’re going to make it seem like she’s going to be okay, and then boom.
So the ending gives us hope that we have two friends that are alive. It makes us think that we can save Aerith. I do think Wedge’s death towards the end and comments that Red XIII made in Chapter 17 may also be hinting towards the fact that you cannot change the past and you cannot change fate. 
Over on Discord, @anesuna​ brought up a good point about Wedge’s cats. Biggums survives the plate collapse along with Wedge. The other two cats - Reggie and Smalls - sadly perish (::cries a lot::). This could also be a reference that Biggs survived while Jessie and Wedge do not. 
So what about the LTD?
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I think this is a heavy reference to the old OG love triangle. Don’t fall for it! They’re warning players now instead of wanting them to fall for it. 
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Why do I say this? Aerith seemed to think the love triangle was fun. Thing is, Cloud wasn’t all there at this point, so it was just an illusion. Since players didn’t seem to get that the first time, they’re going to make it clear now. There were a lot of aspects they seemed to take from Aerith and give to Jessie. Overly flirty (with Jessie they added thirsty) and being overly childish at times. Aerith in remake is still somewhat childish, but not completely.
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Oblivious Cloud is Oblivious. Yeah, he was oblivious in OG that Aerith and Tifa had feelings for him. He has no idea what Wedge is talking about now. Earlier in this same conversation he thinks that Wedge is telling him not to come around because people will gossip about Jessie being in Avalanche, but the player knows really what he’s referring to...
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I think this is probably a reference to the Gold Saucer date because of the stage part. I take things at face value and don’t really dig too deep, but I think this exchange with Wedge is supposed to tell the player not to fall for these false loves early in the game.
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It’s brought up again during Aerith’s resolution scene.
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Earlier Wedge said not to fall for Jessie’s trick, because it was a game to her. It wasn’t real love. Aerith is now telling her that if Cloud thinks he falls in love with her, it’s not real. 
We have two separate instances in the game where they’re telling you to beware of the false love. It’s two times the word love is used. 
After all of this, the ending presents us with two guys who should be dead that appear to be alive. One of them is directly connected to Aerith.
This was their way of trying to shut down the LTD and replace it with different red herrings. Will it work as well as the LTD? Well, it seems that the majority of FFVII Remake fans have talked about the ending.
Yes, a lot of people talk about the LTD, but I think the majority of players are more interested overall in what happens next and what’s up with Zack. I think the majority of the fandom is also ready for the LTD to officially be dead so we can actually focus on everything else and stop the madness. 
It’ll never fully stop, but at least it’ll be clear for anybody who plays the game and alleviate the bulk of the chaos. 
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Say hello to your new red herrings: Biggs and Zack. 
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Say bye to the LTD.
411 notes · View notes
lovelyirony · 4 years
Text
@ironmanspussy​ here we are, directly inspired by your wonderful texpost! 
King Rhodes needed a partner to rule. It was ancient law, something he hadn’t really desired to follow. But unfortunately, the lawyers are assholes and want to create a monopoly of power that he just simply hasn’t the time to dismantle if he’s to follow his ten-year policy plan.
His partner should be well-mannered, aware of high society dress codes as well as how to navigate regular, everyday wear, and be calm in times of crisis.
So begins the search.
“You’re not going to find someone you like like that,” his advisor, Carol says, laughing. “I guarantee it.”
“We’ll see,” Rhodes decides.
Oh, they saw.
They saw a lot.
Almost every single candidate is bad. Or just off, in some way.
“Rogers seemed like a nice fit,” Carol says, tapping on her clipboard.
"He was nice, not for me. A bit too much.”
“What, muscle?”
“You could say that’s a factor. He’s also just a little too take-charge-of-everything.”
“Mm, that could pose a problem later. Well, the candidates who most matched your requirements are all out.”
“You’re kidding.”
“You’re a very particular kind of guy, Jim. So here are the rest.”
“Send in the clowns,” Rhodes says, waving his hand in dismissal and drawing the other one to his forehead to signal a headache about to come on.
“You just sent Barnes out,” Danvers reminds him, grinning.
“Asshole.”
“I’m still getting paid!” Carol sing-songs.
-
It’s almost better. Almost. Prince Clint Barton is an impossibly good marksman, and...that’s about it. His leadership style is far different from the Rhodes kingdom needs and he admits that he almost showed up in jeans.
Well, at least there’s honesty. Rhodes could find that forgivable.
But the jeans. Good god.
-
Bruce Banner is a total sweetheart, but his constitution is quite poor and again with the fashion choices. He shows up in a very nice outfit and has a nice wit about him.
They talk at length, and Carol swears that it will go well and perhaps there will actually be a wedding by June, all things said and considered.
This is until Rhodes leads Dr. Banner out to the gardens to meet Thor, their part-time warrior and full-time gardener.
Thor is completely gone on the scientist-ruler, and there it is.
“This is supposed to be your matchmaking,” Carol reminds him, scowling. “It was going well.”
“Once he met Thor anyways, it would have been all over. You know Thor’s type. The scientists that could ruin the earth if they truly had the thought to.��
“I suppose you’re right. Next person, then. She looks promising, Empress Romanov?”
-
Natasha Romanov is a terrifying figure. Very, very terrifying.
That being said, she has excellent taste in fashion and promised to send Rhodes some reviews, but “unfortunately has her heart spoken for.”
(It’s not very unfortunate. Rhodes feared for his life.)
-
He’s about to lose it, to be completely honest. Is there seriously no one out there?
“Your last candidate, at least for this month, is Tony Stark. High-profile inventor.”
“Not royalty?”
“Essentially, he is. Dad helped create weapons, he followed with protection and medical detail. He usually doesn’t agree to meet, so you’ll have to ask him why.”
“Refuse to meet royalty?”
“People.”
-
Tony Stark did, in fact, refuse to meet people. In general, people were not his strong suit and he saw no point to marriage.
“If you marry well, you get more access to resources for your reacting thing,” Pepper says.
“My reactor. I’ve told you that a million times.”
“And I’ve forgotten it a million and one. But if you meet Rhodes, he’s probably your best chance of not marrying a total shit royal.”
“And why is that?”
“Searching online for your answer is free, I am not. Your bill will be sent to your inbox.”
Tony stares after Pepper. She’s too damn capable.
He sighs to himself.
He does need more funding for his projects. His father cut him off completely and while that wouldn’t be the worst thing, Tony’s not going to charge obscene prices just to keep himself afloat.
So...marrying a royal. Not the best plan in the world, especially given Tony’s track record with people. Sure, he can play the part. But he just...won’t.
-
This is why Tony’s about five minutes late, cursing up a blue streak at a guard that has followed him into the hall because due to his appearance he thinks he needs to have a “check-in” with the people at the front desk for appointments, and in general? The day has been bad.
Also, Pepper forced him into “nice” clothes. While Tony can and has worn his nice clothing before, he does not like the ones that Pepper chose because they are uncomfortable, stiff, and absolutely a bit too long.
So he trips on the carpet.
“Motherfucker!”
Rhodes’ head pops away from his conversation with the chef regarding the dinner menu.
Here is a man with probably the most intricately embroidered robes he’s ever seen on, hair that looks like it was probably not even styled, just brushed through, and had about the entirety of the guard behind him asking him about an appointment time.
Obviously, he’s the most attractive man Rhodes has ever seen in his life.
“And who are you?” he asks.
“Tony. Stark. Mechanic and inventor. Um, you talked to Pepper about me? I think I’m in your circle of potential candidates for ruling. It’s totally fine if you kick me out, I kind of scuffed your carpet.”
“We need new carpet anyway,” Carol says. “We’ll disregard your entrance for now, Stark.”
“Tony, please.”
“Tony,” Carol says slowly, smiling. “You will be walking around the gardens with King Rhodes, pausing for dinner.”
“Cool.”
Rhodes has to stop from laughing. Cool. He’s already a fan of this.
Carol leans over to him, whispering in his ear.
“I thought you wanted someone who had a cool head, not someone like that.”
“Well, I can be wrong every once in a while.”
“Or more.”
“Every once in a while,” Rhodes reiterates. “Besides, I have a good feeling about this.”
“Hm.”
-
Walking through a garden with a stranger is not as smooth as one would expect. Rhodes isn’t exactly well-versed in asking people what their plans are for the future, and if they are amenable to perhaps marriage.
“What do you do for fun?” Tony asks.
He’s sort of taken aback at the question.
“Pardon me?”
“What do you do for fun?” he repeats. “Like, do you cook? Sew? Duel with your rivals? What do you do for fun?”
Well. He has to think for a moment.
“I go on runs.”
“That is not fun. Don’t tell me that that’s what’s fun for you.”
“What, can’t run?”
“I don’t run, there’s a difference. I’ll run when something’s chasing me.”
“And yet you won’t have training, like I will.”
“Did you forget my trade, Your Imminence?” Tony asks, voice mocking him.
It’s honestly refreshing. Rhodes doesn’t like it when people are so serious around him, so afraid to disappoint.
“An inventor? You’re going to invent a way to run better?”
“To fly, honey. Honestly...”
-
After that, it’s a dead-set decision from Rhodes.
He offers his hand in marriage, as well as the crown. Tony blinks.
“You haven’t even seen me take a turn in the ballroom.”
“It’s either going to be wildly entertaining or surprising, and I can’t wait for either.”
-
Tony enters his own room, in a panic.
This has to go well. He has to dress to impress.
“Pepper, he’s holding a party for our engagement. I have to dress nicely.”
“You know how to do that, I don’t know why you’re telling me that.”
“There are so many factors. Do you know anyone who can embroider his family crest on any shoes? What colors I’m meant to do? Oh my god, we have to fuse the colors together. This is going to be a disgrace. I’ll be exiled to be a hermit in the forest who relies on bark for sustenance, and this--”
“Can you. Potentially, maybe, chill? It’ll be fine.”
“You say that, but right now I’m imagining having to go to war because I didn’t wear the right color of red, so...”
“You are literally the worst person alive.”
“False, we both know Justin Hammer and out of the two of us, I think you’d want to date me more.”
“Don’t be a smartass.”
“Just practical, Pep. Just practical. Now help me shade match Rhodey’s red.”
“He’s Rhodey now?”
“In my head? Yes. I don’t like Rhodes, I absolutely will not call him Jim until we both hit seventy years old.”
“Better let him know that.”
-
Rhodes gets a text from Tony.
so a.) your new nickname from me is rhodey. don’t question it, honeybear. Anyways, would you say your royal family color is closer to garnet-red or blood-red?
Rhodey blinks. He likes the nickname. It’s different. He has to show the text to Carol.
“What in the hell does that mean?”
“Let me google it.”
She analyzes the results, frowning.
“I’m thinking blood-red.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
“Why does he want to know the color?”
“I don’t know, I’ll ask.”
we’ve decided it matches closer to blood-red, Tones. Why do you ask?
Tony blinks. Other nickname. Interesting. He likes it.
my outfit choice relies heavily on this.
He leaves it at that, grinning as he puts his phone away.
Rhodey is laughing. He’s excited to see his husband-to-be.
-
Tony knows he looks damned good. The whole outfit is incredible. Red with gold stitching throughout, and he got his hair to cooperate to be artfully messy instead of just messy.
“I’m surprised at you, you clean up well,” Pepper teases. “You ready to go and make your debut?”
“As ready as ever,” Tony says, fixing the chain around his neck. The gold glints off the lights, and he knows he’s about to be the best dressed person in the room, with perhaps the exception of Rhodey.
He knows that most people are surprised that he’s the one that King Rhodes has decided to marry. He’s not known for being a particularly polite royal. In fact, he has told multiple members of royalty to “get fucked or get out of my way” when they want him to build something that he refuses to build.
So he’s not exactly the perfect choice. But his outfit is still the best in the room.
“Hi gorgeous,” Rhodey says, smiling. “You look incredible.”
“Well I do know how to make an entrance, after all,” Tony says. “You’ll find out this is only the tip of the iceberg.”
“Well then, I’m in for treats all my life,” Rhodey says. “How are you tonight, Tones?”
“Doing well, finished up working on one of the cars for Thor today.”
“Wait, you’re the one who’s refinishing it? He hasn’t been able to shut up about it for weeks! I was the one who used to look at it.”
“You like fixing up cars?”
“Yes, of course I do!”
-
From there, conversation flows. They understand each other well, laugh at the same jokes, and agree on cake flavors.
It’s not love, not yet. But they’re getting there.
-
It is officially love when Tony steals Rhodey from his royal duties to get a cheeseburger.
“Sometimes it’s good to get out of the throne, don’t you think?” Tony says, grinning over his sunglasses.
“For a cheeseburger? Can’t say I’ve ever done anything like that.”
“That’s because you’re all fancy and posh, I bet you don’t even know the f-word,” Tony says.
“Fuck you,” Rhodey jokes.
Tony gasps. “The king knows a curse word? Oh my lord! What...shame you bring to your family!”
Rhodey laughs, and it’s in this moment that he realizes that spending the rest of his days with Tony is potentially the best possible option in the world.
“I’m so glad we’re getting married,” he says. Tony stills.
“You...you are?”
“You’re the best thing to happen to me, I think,” Rhodey says, taking a sip of water as if he hasn’t just said the sweetest thing Tony’s ever heard. “And I hope that I’m the best thing to ever happen to you.”
“I mean I don’t know, the AC/DC reunion tour was pretty sick...” Tony says, grinning. “I’m kidding. Rhodey, I think we’re gonna be a good team. And I’m glad that I get to be with you.”
-
Their wedding is the talk of the year. Literally no one can shut up about it, but maybe that’s because Tony accidentally showed up late because he was inventing and had wild hair and maybe a stray grease-stain on his forehead.
Rhodey just grinned.
“You better not be late to the reception.”
“I’ll try my best. You know how I am.”
They kiss, and Rhodey sends him into a deep dip. Tony laughs into the kiss, and it becomes one of the most well-known photographs of the year.
-
Sure, Rhodey didn’t exactly get all of the qualifications that he wanted out of his ruling partner. Tony is absolutely not calm in times of crisis, and stress-bought novelty socks.
He more than once told a difficult business partner to “absolutely get fucked up on a Thursday, see if I give a singular shit when my husband is ten times better than you,” and also has a certain unawareness of some of his public outfit choices. (Hello sweatpants with holes in them and a striped hoodie.)
But Tony makes the best coffee ever, always gets Rhodey flowers from the supermarket, and is perhaps the most compassionate man he’s ever met.
So not a bad trade-off.
They lay in bed together, Rhodey looking over his obscenely trashy detective novels with his reading glasses, and Tony battling Pepper in a word search competition online.
“I love you,” Tony says out of nowhere, smiling. He presses a kiss to Rhodey’s shoulder.
“You’re okay,” Rhodey responds, patting Tony’s thigh.
He makes a squawk of outrage as Rhodey’s head turns from his book, grinning.
“You better give me a kiss to make up for that,” Tony demands. Rhodey rolls his eyes.
“Of course, drama queen.”
“Drama queen? I was told by the love of my life that I was ‘okay’ after one year of marriage? And I am supposed to be unaffected? Absolutely unacceptable, I think I will fling myself into a pit in the ocean, and--”
Rhodey cuts him off with a kiss.
“Or not. Not could definitely work.”
386 notes · View notes
sokkascroptop · 4 years
Text
traitor. (sokka x f!reader) pt 3
A/N: Finally we get to see Azula’s true nature! Also, the first time we get to see Zuko!! To be clear, Azula is in this fic a lot, but this is far from a redemption fic. 
part 1 | part 2 | part 4
Zuko caught Y/N’s eyes like he wanted to ask her a million questions. But she was too embarrassed about everything to hold his gaze. She looked away hoping she didn’t look too guilty or shameful. She joined Azula in staring out the window. The cherry blossom trees were in bloom. They covered every square inch of sky as she looked out. It filled the room with a sweet scent that Y/N knew was going to permeate their clothes when they left. If she let her eyes go unfocused it looked like there was a raging fire in front of her. 
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Y/N found herself outside in the palace gardens. She was running from something, but it wasn’t scary. She was laughing and she heard other girls laughing around her. She began to climb a tree, stifling her giggles the entire time. For some reason, she had to be quiet.
“You’re going to get in trouble for being up there,” Someone said from below. 
Y/N looked down between the branches to see a boy her age. He was wearing a high ponytail held with a small fire pin. 
“Why?” she asked. She jumped down to the lowest branch and sat there hanging her legs over the side. She didn’t want to get down just yet. 
He arched one eyebrow. “Just ‘cause. If the palace gardener sees you climbing the trees, he’ll yell at you.”
“Well I’ll just tell him that my new friend is Princess Azula and that’ll shut him up.” Y/N laughed again and made a start to go back up the tree.
“Well, I’m her older brother Prince Zuko and I’m telling you, you’re gonna get in trouble.” He looked like he wanted to emphasize his sentence by sticking his tongue out at her. 
“Why aren’t you playing hide-and-explode with us?” Y/N asked. She jumped down and landed lightly in front of Zuko. They were the same height, which made her feel oddly proud. 
“I don’t like playing games with Azula,” Zuko said. “I’m ten–”
“–well I’m nine and a half and I can still have fun,” Y/N interrupted. 
“You’re almost my age and you’re friends with Azula? What happened? Did you get held back?” Zuko taunted.
“No!” Y/N made a face. Suddenly she felt very self conscious. She didn’t know what ‘held back’ meant but it didn’t sound good, not when he was laughing at her. “This is the first time I’ve ever gone to real school. I just got put in her grade.” 
Suddenly a fireball landed at Y/N’s feet; sparks flew up and singed her pants and burnt her legs. She squealed, a mix between surprise and pain. 
“Azula!” Zuko snarled. He half stepped in front of Y/N, all hints of the earlier teasing gone. Zuko produced a similar fireball and threw it at Azula’s feet but she kicked it away, making it land in a nearby bush. 
“You’re it, Y/N,” Azula ordered. 
“It’s not fair, Azula. She’s not a bender,” Zuko argued. 
“Neither are Mai and Ty Lee. And they don’t whine like babies.” The last part she directed at Y/N with a sneer. 
“I’m not whining!” Y/N protested. She pushed Zuko out of the way and covered her eyes, beginning to count to twenty. She peeked at Zuko at fifteen. All the girls had already scattered but he just stood there watching her. “I’m faster than Azula anyways. I can catch her.” 
She paused and looked at Zuko who stood there awkwardly. “Are you going to hide or what?” She asked. When she covered her eyes again she heard him run away, looking for a hiding place. She waited a beat before counting again, “–SIXTEEN, SEVENTEEN..”
Y/N woke to darkness. But it was always dark below deck. The only light came from candles and lanterns hung in the hallways. Her own candle was only an inch high and fading fast from the accumulation of wax. She could feel the familiar rock of the ship lulling her back to sleep… Y/N sat up quickly. She could tell that it was morning, possibly very early but she couldn’t risk going back to sleep. She tucked the covers under her neck and over her shoulders to snuggle down to ask the important questions. Why was she dreaming of Zuko? 
The day they met was probably one of their most innocent and least notable moments. At least that’s what she thought. Or it was possible her brain was trying to make her feel guilty about what she and Azula were going to do today. That day wasn’t the last that Zuko had tried to protect her from his sister, it actually set the stage for years of him standing up to Azula in her place. Not that she needed it, she could hold her own plenty, but it felt nice to be protected. 
Sometimes she wondered if they had more time together, if they’d have become better friends than her and Azula. Even though he was a fire-bender too, he spent a lot of training with his dual swords. Time that was spent with her on the training grounds. They sparred daily until his banishment; spirits, Y/N was sure they’d even sparred the day of the war meeting that started everything. Now she was going to find him, and lie to him, knowing that what awaited him at home was not a crown but a prison cell. Y/N shook her head to clear it and slid out of the bed and into her clothes. No use in thinking of the past when her future was all that was necessary. Honor and glory and all. 
Y/N could hear Iroh and Zuko arguing a mile away. Azula and her had gotten there an hour before and broke inside the little cabin they were living in. They’d not so inconspicuously gone through all their stuff and upon not finding anything worth while, sat around just waiting. 
“We don’t need any more useless things. You forget we have to carry everything for ourselves now!” Zuko lamented as Iroh dumped a bag of seashells on the table by the door, that looked suspiciously like the same seashells next to Azula on their dining table. Neither one had looked up to see them inside. 
“Hello, brother,” Azula said. “Uncle.” Both of the men jumped. 
“What are you doing here?” Zuko asked as he stepped his body in front of Iroh’s. He looked from Azula to where Y/N was sitting in the window sill behind Azula. Her stomach dropped. This was the first time she’d seen his scarred face. Pink and red scars circled his left eye and wrapped far back enough to cover his ear. His hair was no longer long, but shaved around his ponytail. He looked so much older even though it had only been three years. Y/N wasn’t sure what made him look so different, whether it was a scar that marred his face or the anger that seeped deep beneath his pores. 
“In my country we exchange a pleasant hello before asking questions.” Azula picked up a seashell and inspected it. She glided across the room to stand in front of him. She was so much shorter than Zuko and Y/N but she carried so much power. “Have you become uncivilized so soon, Zuzu?”
“Don’t call me that!”
“To what do we owe this honor?” Iroh spoke up, breaking up the fight between the siblings before it started. Y/N moved to stand behind Azula. 
“Hmm, must be a family trait. Both of you are so quick to get to the point.” Azula was still playing with the men like they were rabbit-mice. She snapped the shell she was holding in her hands. “I’ve come with a message from home. Father has changed his mind. Family is suddenly very important to him. He’s heard rumors of plans to overthrow him–treacherous plots.” Y/N looked to Zuko to gauge his reaction. His face had softened at hearing the news from his Father.
“Family are the only ones you can really trust,” Azula told him earnestly. “Father regrets your banishment. He wants you home.” Azula paused to look out the window. 
Zuko caught Y/N’s eyes like he wanted to ask her a million questions. But she was too embarrassed about everything to hold his gaze. She looked away hoping she didn’t look too guilty or shameful. She joined Azula in staring out the window. The cherry blossom trees were in bloom. They covered every square inch of sky as she looked out. It filled the room with a sweet scent that Y/N knew was going to permeate their clothes when they left. If she let her eyes go unfocused it looked like there was a raging fire in front of her. 
When no one said anything, Azula whipped her head back around to stare at her brother. “Did you hear me? You should be happy, excited, grateful. I just gave you great news.”
“I’m sure your brother simply needs a moment–”
“Don’t interrupt, Uncle!” Her voice changed from sickeningly sweet as she plied Zuko with the words he wanted to hear to savage as she screamed at Iroh. Azula had never learned to be patient, and she wanted them on the ship now. “I still haven’t heard my thank you,” She growled at Zuko. “I’m not a messenger. I didn’t have to come all this way. I could have sent Y/N for this.”
Y/N tensed at her words. She bit her tongue so hard that she tasted blood. How dare Azula think she was her messenger hawk?
“Father regrets? He wants me back?” Zuko muttered. Y/N felt like this was a conversation with himself that they were all intruding on. Y/N had to admit that the words that Azula used to trick them were sweet as honey, but also not very believable. 
Y/N touched the back of Azula’s arm. “I think that he needs time to take this in. It’s all very sudden for him.” She sent a smile in Zuko’s direction that he did not return. 
“I’ll send Y/N to call on you tomorrow.” Azula concluded and she and Y/N took their leave. 
“Why are you sending me tomorrow?” Y/N asked once they were out of range of the house. 
“Zuko trusts you more than he does me,” Azula admitted. “I figure even if he decided he doesn’t want to come, you’ll be able to sweet talk him down the hill to our little ship.”
“Zuko and I were–” 
“Oh shut up, Y/N. You two always had an eye for one another.”
Y/N felt her cheeks heat up. “I–”
“Besides that’s the reason my Father wanted you to come anyways.” They had reached the wooden dock that the ramp to their ship rested on. 
Y/N stopped dead in her tracks. “What?” 
Azula cocked her head. “Well, I figured you’d caught on to that already the way you were making moony eyes at my brother up there.”
“I wasn’t–How was I supposed to know I was only brought here to flirt Zuko’s ass all the way back to the Fire Nation?!” 
“Just back to the ship. Once he gets here we’ll put him in a jail cell.”
“AZULA!”
“Look,” she snarled. “You’re good with a sword but what the hell is that going to do against a fire bender? It’s a fact that you being a non bender means you’re a liability in a fight.” Azula turned and marched up the ramp. That was the end of the discussion even if Y/N had more to say. 
She looked down at her toes at the blue-green water between the slats. She could feel her eyes burning with unshed tears. She blinked them away and followed Azula onto the ship. 
Y/N fisted her hands in her tunic and stalked to her room. Control your anger, control your anger she repeated over and over in her head. She wasn’t like Azula or Zuko, she couldn’t make something with the anger that grew and festered in her chest. She couldn’t throw a fireball at the nearest wall and hope that her anger dissipated like the sparks that fell to the floor. She shut her door and immediately balled up her fist and let it slam home against the wall. The thin metal crumpled easily under her hand. It stung, but that was good. Y/N let out a breath she thought she’d been holding since the dock. She collapsed onto her bed and pulled her knees to her chest. 
It wasn’t a secret that she was a non-bender. But it’s not like it didn’t hurt to be reminded that she wasn’t as worthy because she was one. 
Please like/reblog!!
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icecreamkink · 3 years
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watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.
feelings.
very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful
anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start
in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr
listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?
For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies
i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics
fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service
slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it
wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0
i lov them
through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart
in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back
my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think
no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 
some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART
lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 
being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize
wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 
that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.
 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss
fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-
and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy
i have Learned. caves = gay.
 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)
the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it
early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 
EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 
i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance
 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)
jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"
jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry
lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((
up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all
seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez
that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir
 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE
when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious
all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them
hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)
its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
they are SO insufferable pleeeeease
in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”
in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.
 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss
the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)
ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok
you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 
jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)
i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 
the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic
and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic
i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon
and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 
The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 
wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh
me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”
its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ
everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 
ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 
“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;
the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes
untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo
related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 
and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 
 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 
highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.
lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 
on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn
also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'
when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///
hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss
they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad
when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN
so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted
even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 
wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)
the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid
wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)
LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k
take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood
zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 
cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!
wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn
everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 
showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 
justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁
jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief
my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession
the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 
“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”
"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd
also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice
yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON
they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((
wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer
both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w
;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all
wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience
the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected
on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY
lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;
 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together
also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy
wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation
did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins
jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;
i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 
im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 
when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 
also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point
 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?
wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"
unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 
and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 
jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say
i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-
 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE
a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 
literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour
babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 
(not that the pain is over LOL)
lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’
“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 
and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......
and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 
THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  
great now i made myself sad
and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??
JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 
and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it
enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏
 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him
babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  
one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks
wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺
so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh
a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 
her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao
 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 
like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby
and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 
anjo sensato :(
xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...
the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof
song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 
wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 
THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change
should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells
the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is
u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 
BAT WEN NING 
wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 
(they didnt) (yet)
DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.
i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again
also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever
mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy
also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious
i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something
jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he
the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 
in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT
oh my god oh my god
the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead
lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞
also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck
i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...
poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'
ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth
wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 
ME ON THE OTHER HAND"
the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*
"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard
not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho
i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...
re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?
idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling
i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again
jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god
and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night
i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not
jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'
the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl
never trust a dude with a fan.
nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 
when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.
and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy
netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)
the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........
there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 
that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*
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kookies2000 · 3 years
Text
My thoughts on the final. 8 out of 10 for me and here's why.
Positives first.
The villains. I love Bradford as a villain and his plan really was flawless. To me, Bradford is the scariest type of villain there is. Scrooge trusted this man for almost his whole life. Trusted him enough to be in charge of his money, and secrets. Only to get betrayed at the end. This is an actual thing that happens in real life. People we love, people we know for our whole lives, could just suddenly become horrible people and our love and trust in them breaks. And it hurts like crazy. And that's Bradford right there. He was close to Scrooge and betrayed him. Now the fact that Bradford never saw himself as the villian adds more to why these types of people are horrible. They blame others for their misfortune or for their bad traits. Like how Bradford told the family to look what they made him into after he grew into a monster. He's trying to put the blame on others instead of acknowledging that he's doing this to himself. Like at least the other villains like Glomp Gold and Magica know their villains. They're self aware unlike Bradford. Bradford doesn't like the thought of being a villain so he blames those that see him as the villain. Like dude! You imprisoned Gandra for indefinitely, trapped Ludwig Von Drake who just wanted to talk things out with you, imprisoned innocent people like Panchito and Jose. Why those two? Just because they were tricked into performing a concert at The Feast of the Flower? He straight up murdered his agents, and threw Donald in too. Not to mention he played a part in tearing the family apart once. And he keeps justifying it by saying "I'm not a villain". Which makes it worse! You can't just say you're not a villain or that others are trying to make you look like the villain. If you're not the villain then there's no need to say it. So yeah, I enjoy Bradford as a villain because he's the most realistic of the three main villains we had. Someone who has some good points but executes them poorly.
I also enjoyed the other villains like Phantom Bot and Pepper. I ship these two so much. 💖. Pepper being her talkative self and speaking her mind while Blot is being the strong silent type. My favorite line is also from Pepper "Look Blot! He's a full grown man with the strength of a baby!" I LOVE YOU PEPPER!!! And Blot being his aggressive self is enough for me. And thank you Lena for setting Gene free! Rockerduck being his spoiled self was also a treat. Having his servant fight for him and ordering a drink while he fought. 😂 Don Karnage was his lovable singing self, also he is dead now right? No way he survived that plane crash. Congratulations Dewey, you murdered a man while singing just like I always knew you would. Heron was also great. There's no doubt in my mind that she had some kind of attraction to Bradford after that "Oh Bradford, how villainous 😏" before dying. There's just something hilarious about Heron gracefully accepting betrayal and death like that. 😂 Steelbeaks was great. Finally using that smart ray on himself and still being the imbecile he is! Glomp Gold, Magica and the Beagles special appearance was also a treat.
Ok so our heros! I have to talk about Drake, Fenton and Launchpad! I love Drake for his balance of goofiness and heroicness. He's clearly a man who wants what's best for everyone and loves to be in the spotlight as well. Not to mention just how much fun it is to watch him being all goofy. He may have a child-like side and loves being the goofy hero he is, but he has his serious moments. Showing that just because you have a child-like personality doesn't mean you're not mature enough to handle serious situations. Just the way Drake comforted Fenton by telling him he isn't alone on this, to let others help him warms my heart. He knows Fenton so well and grew a personal connection with him. To the point where he refuses to believe Fenton is Gizmoduck. 😂 Poor guy is in denial. I feel bad for him because he's always in GizmoDucks shadow, which is why I screamed so loud when he and GizmoDuck shared the spotlight in the beginning of the fight with Steelbeaks. Great moment! And Fenton! I adore him and I love him so much more after this episode too! He was always the man with a heart of gold and always put others first. And they added even more to his character by making him such a romantic towards Gandra. I'm 100% sure she was on his mind throughout this whole adventure. Just the fact that he says it out loud that he wants to rescue her and his first reaction when they landed at the Lost Library was to rescue the prisoners was adorable. We all know he wanted to go save the prisoner's to find Gandra. Yeah I know he also cares for everyone else just as much but Gandra will always hold a special place in his heart. And then we have the moment with the two in the end credits. Just pure adorableness! Falling together, Fenton becoming GizmoDuck and catching her like he always does!!! Ah I can't help it! These two are cute!!! I also like how Fenton never did get to rescue her but it was Huey and the others that did and then she helped on rescuing the others. Breaks that whole damsel in distress cliche. I'm so sorry Fenton that you didn't get your shining armor moment, maybe next time? Then we have Launchpad. That guy finally had his shining moment. He was so insecure about not being a superhero that he couldn't see he was the one that inspired Fenton and Drake to become heros. That moment was so sweet and the fact that Launchpadpad became Gizmoduck was what made it perfect. And I loved how he crashed the suit too. 😂 and even the Gizmo Suit has an attitude "Eh, close enough."
Then we have the kids. Each one had their moment and I loved it. Violet was under used I'll admit, just wish they used her more. Like her woodchuck knowledge or her book smarts to find their way out of a maze, open a certain door to another room or help Lena out. Lena had her moment as well, making the airplane invisible showing just how powerful she has become. And let's consider that she nearly got killed by Phantom Blot in the first battle but this time she was able to battle him much better. Friendship really is her magic. Boyd is my favorite! I just love how him being just a head didn't even bother him one bit. Instead, Lil Bulb just uses his body to create a bobblehead Boyd. Let's not forget that "Take care of your brother." line. That one line made my heart sing. Louie was very realistic, "That is not at all comforting. I do not want to die." and he was also the same sharp boy we all know and love. I love the scene where he's pep talking Dewey into winning the battle against Don Karnage. And then we have Dewey flying the Sun Chaser by himself, fully embracing his talent. I'll talk about Huey and Webby later. Scrooge, Donald and Della also had their moment to shine as the original three! Loved it so much, just watching these three fight one last battle together was enough to almost make me cry. Beakly also had her moments like getting the chance to tell Webby the truth, even though it was a trick. I love how she wanted to make sure everyone was safe and went to fight F.O.W.L on her own only to learn her lesson near the end. The lesson that she can't keep secrets forever and she has to have trust in her family in order to win. And sure enough this lesson came from her oldest friend Scrooge Mcduck.
The humor was also the best! I loved the fact that Manny is actually some world ending monster and what does he have to say? "People change man! I just want to live a normal life!" 😆 I never expected Manny to talk let alone his voice sounding like that. And then we have the Gargoyles reference "I live again!..... Again!" Loved that, gold right there. Then we have Von Drake who admits that he isn't dead all because he doesn't have time to die! Oh if only life were that easy! Gyro was comedy gold as well with his line "When they do something right, they're heros! When things get too hard, we're children!" 😂 Love you Gyro!
Ok so one thing I have an issue with. You all know what it is so I'll make it as short as possible. Webbys backstory. I didn't like it. I have no issue with her being a clone and that Beakly found her, but Scrooge's daughter? It was unnecessary and here's why. Scrooge was already her father. He took care of her as his own, protected her, kept het happy, and was a wonderful role model to her. She was already his official none blood daughter. Making her Scrooge's blood related daughter does nothing to improve her character. If they wanted her as a clone, they could've done something else. Like maybe she could've been the clone of a well known F.O.W.L agent that died or disappeared. So F.O W.L tried to clone that agent by creating Webby. Nothing would need to change either, Beakly could've still found her, took her in and kept her safe with Scrooge. Webby would still have an identity crisis thinking she's the clone of a F.O.W.L agent and is destined to be a F.O.W.L agent. If they wanted to add June and May in, then use that same reason. Cloning F.O.W.L agents and raising them to be the evil like them. Or what about this? Use Beakley's story about her daughter. How Beakley wasn't there for her as much as she wanted to and maybe one day F.O.W.L talked Beakley's daughter into joining them. Making Beakley regret not being there for her daughter more. When her daughter tries to leave F.O.W.L she disappears all of a sudden. But then Beakly finds a baby clone of her daughter (Webby) and she takes this as a second chance to raise her daughter again. I'm just saying, anything would've been a better back story for Webby other than being Scrooge's clone. And as for Huey, he should've been the one to find the papyrus. Branford had him in his grasp. He had managed to manipulate Huey into helping him, so why not have him grab the papyrus. He is a direct descendent of Scrooge so why complicate things by having Huey talk to Webby? They weren't even sure if the papyrus was going to show itself to Webby!!! HUEY WAS RIGHT THERE BRADFORD!!!! It was so easy!!! Kidnap Huey, manipulate him into helping, then lock him up with Gyro, Drake and Gandra!!! I'm not saying I didn't enjoy Huey and Webby here, I did. Huey using his woodchuck knowledge allowing his brothers to find him and Webby using the skills her granny showed her made me proud. I love seeing these two using the skills they learned while living in the mansion.
Other than that, the final was great and I loved it. I just wish Webbys background was different and more unique than being Scrooge's daughter. Oh! And the end credits were wonderful! I love how the poster was basically a foreshadow of it!
 8/10 I loved the finale!
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What if the Sound Trio survived and became Leaf ninjas?
Headcanons under the cut (bitch, it’s a lot of headcanons)
~ Chunin Exam Finals/Invasion~
Dosu was shown to be suspicious of Orochimaru because of the whole Sasuke/curse mark thing and seemed like he wasn’t wanting to be a part of Orochimaru’s shit anymore so he’s the one who realizes something is up
Rather than face Gaara he somehow finds out about sand’s allegiance with sound (overhearing Baki and Kabuto on the way to Gaara, eavesdropping on Orochimaru [because, again, sus], etc...) and that’s what pushes him to defect from sound (also how he manages to live)
Dosu, Zaku, and Kin aren’t necessarily close, but in the anime Dosu did sort of say he was gonna get revenge on behalf of Zaku for what happened to his arms so there is a sense of something there (whether it be friendship, camaraderie, or just wanting to stick together to survive... idk) and Dosu tells his teammates what’s up and convinces them that they gotta GTFO
Zaku is a little more difficult to convince because why would Orochimaru do that to him? He saved Zaku from being a street rat, he gave Zaku power
Dosu ain’t having it and is like “if you wish to stay behind then that is your decision, in the end it is better for us to not have to carry any dead weight” (obviously referring to Zaku’s inability to do anything because of his arms)
Dosu then proceeds to tell Zaku how he no longer serves a purpose without his arms and he was nice enough to still want to take Zaku with him, Orochimaru would not be so kind
Zaku is upset because he knows Dosu has a point and they all leave
They (read: Dosu) decide that their best chance of survival is staying in Konoha because, the minute they leave, the sound village/Orochimaru will be gunning for their asses and also they’d be missing-nin, so others would try to kill them too
But what can they do to assure they don’t get imprisoned or killed due to having worked under Orochimaru? Rat out the sound village and give all the information they know/found out about the invasion and sand’s involvement
Third Hokage is a cool dude and also was Orochimaru’s teacher so he knows the kind of power this bitch can have over people which is why he agrees to let the sound trio stay and have them watched by Anbu
Dosu does not participate in the chunin exam finals because witness protection, or something
The invasion still happens because Orochimaru ain’t stupid. His “pawns” are nowhere to be found so it’s likely they’re betraying him, so obviously he makes changes to the plan
Dosu, Kin, and Zaku do not participate in fighting off the invasion because, uh, super strict house arrest orders???
Third Hokage dies and this FREAKS the trio out because a) oh shit Orochimaru actually did it and b) we’re only allowed to be here because of him, so what’s going to happen to us
Council is deciding what to do with them and has them staying hidden/as they were, but what’s more important to them is finding Tsunade and having her take over as Hokage so the trio are just anxiously chilling
Tsunade is Hokage now and she decides to let them stay because they turned their backs on Orochimaru and also she trusts Sarutobi’s judgment on letting them stay initially, but they are still going to be watched by Anbu to be sure
Naruto and co. find out about the trio and they are PISSED because “not only did you try to kill Sasuke, not only are you from the village that attacked us, not only did you work for Orochimaru but you did nothing to defend Konoha during the invasion. If you want to be a part of this village then you should have helped”
Tsunade tells these bitches to simmer down. They were under Anbu house arrest. She’s Hokage and they need to respect her decision. Also Zaku, let’s fix your arms.
~Sasuke Retrieval Arc~
Everyone is immediately on the trio’s ass because “we knew you couldn’t be trusted”
Tsunade has to tell everyone to stfu again
The trio want to go (to prove themselves) and feel they can be of assistance but Tsunade is like Catherine of Aragon because she says there’s no no no no NO WAY. It’s already a dangerous mission, it might be more so for them because Orochimaru is probably after their heads for betraying him and knows all of their skills
Everything about the arc is the same until the point where Shikamaru, Kiba, and Lee need help. Instead of the Sand Siblings being the ones to arrive it’s the sound trio
Zaku saves Kiba... mainly because I imagine them being friends once the trio are accepted and I just want this to be the beginning of their friendship. How he saves him idk because I’m not creative when it comes to fights
Kin saves Shikamaru. Again idk how. Zaku’s slicing sounds waves make more sense here because they work similar to Temari’s fan but I want it to be Kin because kunoichi vs. kunoichi, genjutsu vs. genjutsu, and also the idea of Kin saving the guy who beat her in such an embarrassing way does something to me, but also is a sort of redemption? I just want this battle to show off how skilled Kin can be because she was very underutilized and kinda weak in the original story and I love her so much, she deserves to do cool shit. So let her outsmart Tayuya and, in a way, she is outsmarting Shikamaru because he had no more plans to fall back on
Dosu saves Lee. Again, idk how and, again, I think Zaku’s slicing sound waves would be better here because they can keep Kimimaro (a close range fighter) at bay but I guess seeing Dosu and Kimimaro throwing hands would be cool. And then you have that redemption moment with Lee because Dosu kicked his ass in the forest of death and now he’s saving Lee!
After the mission, despite its failure, the trio are accepted as leaf shinobi and are introduced to their new sensei: cue Anko crashing through the window with a big sign introducing herself again
Similarly to the moment when Naruto spoke out and Anko threw a kunai at him, Zaku gives a snide comment and Anko is immediately at his throat, and then she’s like “JK! But don’t say that again you little shit!”
Anko was chosen to lead the trio due to her past with Orochimaru and because of that she can better understand them
~Other Headcanons~
It took the Konoha 12 a while to accept the trio. The first ones to accept them were Kiba, Lee, and Shikamaru (duh) but also Choji and even Naruto. Choji became cool with them when he found out Shikamaru was cool with them because he trusts Shikamaru’s judgment, and despite originally trying to kill his teammate, Naruto accepts them because they came out and helped so that means they’re a-okay in his book. Neji was slightly taken aback but also accepted them pretty quickly. Basically, the retrieval team was like “yeah okay” and vouch for them.
The ones who took the longest to come around were Ino and Sakura because did y’all just forget what happened at the forest of death???
As I said, I imagine Kiba and Zaku being friends. Mainly because I feel they have similar personalities in the sense that they’re both pretty cocky, boisterous, and talk shit. I imagine them kinda being like rivals in the sense of they’re always trying to one up each other
Zaku is still not fond of Shino because of the whole bugs in arms thing so whenever Shino is around Zaku is just like “I hate your teammate” to Kiba
Kin/Shikamaru could potentially replace the Temari/Shikamaru relationship. Both Kin and Temari are very similar in the sense of being an ex-villain, being viewed as scarier/more intense compared to the Konoha girls, being older by a couple years, and they both lost (well, Temari technically won but we all know she lost) to Shikamaru. Because of this the Kin/Shikamaru relationship wouldn’t be all that different to how the Temari/Shikamaru relationship is shown
That being said I love the sand siblings and don’t want them gone and because of how similar I feel Kin and Temari are they become really good friends and Kin enjoys when Temari visits. They both make Shikamaru’s life hell though. Double Trouble™️
Also I said potentially because I like exploring the idea of Kin/Zaku or Kin/Dosu (:
Dosu and Shino actually get along really well (much to the dismay of Zaku). They’re the type of people where they can sit in silence with each other and it’s just chill. And when they have to work together they kinda have flawless teamwork and don’t even need to speak to know what the other plans on doing
Kin and Sakura actually get along now? They’re not best friends by any means but they can be civil and respect each other
Team Kurenai and Team Sand are the teams that the trio get along with the best/most easily tho
Kin cut her hair to her lower back. Cue everyone cracking jokes about Neji and Kin looking the same from behind. Kin stops tying her hair after that
The trio have really well trained ears because back in Otogakure they had to learn to pick up on the subtlest of sounds in order to spy on enemies and communicate at such a low volume that to any normal ear sounds like silence but to them the message is loud and clear
Because of this they’re all amazing singers (Dosu is the best tho because he has the best trained ear. Seriously, being able to tell what someone is writing based on the sounds of their pencil? Skills.) and everyone likes hearing them sing.
That being said, despite being from the land of sound they didn’t actually know any songs because the sound village doesn’t really do music. It was forbidden because no one is allowed joy in the land of sound. Jk. But it did have to do with depriving people of normalcy because Orochimaru was creating an army of followers
This little singing/music tidbit was discovered by Naruto and he took it upon himself to show the trio music. It wasn’t all good music, but it’s music!
Also, despite being the best singer, Dosu doesn’t really do it. Dude doesn’t even hum. He’ll only sing if Kin and Zaku start pestering or if Anko wants him to
The first (and only) time Kin and Zaku saw Dosu cry was shortly after they became leaf shinobi. Anko and Tsunade were telling the team how brave it was for them to leave Orochimaru and sound behind, and Anko especially complimented Dosu on taking him and his team out of that situation. Kin and Zaku had been trying to hold back tears and keep up their tough image but the minute they saw Dosu crying, not trying to wipe away his tears or hide them or anything they lost it
No one talks about their little crying session. It’s a secret
Despite getting his arms fixed by Tsunade, Zaku still has problems with them, especially his right one (I think that’s the one that got blown off) and needs to get them treated consistently. Partly due to the fact they he didn’t give himself all the time to heal after Tsunade fixed him because he went to help the retrieval team and, mainly, because of Orochimaru’s experiments. Like, essentially Zaku’s air tube surgery was actually kind of botched and, for lack of a better term, experimental, and is fucking with the nerves and muscles and chakra in his arms and kinda eating away at them. And the crazy damage he took from getting his arms blown off only fucked everything up more
Eventually Zaku gets a better version of his air tube in his left arm and has to completely replace the right arm with a cool prosthetic that lets him do stronger/cooler jutsus
Kin has combined singing with her genjutsu and has created a sort of mind control jutsu... I may or may not have gotten this idea while listening to Come Little Children and remembering that Sarah Sanderson would control kids with song
The trio think Sasuke is a fUCKING DUMBASS for willingly going with Orochimaru. Like, bitch we had to leave that no good asshole for the betterment of our lives and you just waltz out of Konoha and straight into his arms?! What is you doing Uchiha?!
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magniloquent-raven · 3 years
Note
for fluff: "one more chapter" or "there's enough room for both of us"
it’s been 84 years............ but here u go lmao tysm for the prompts!!!!!! i used both!
CW for some brief suicidal ideation, just in case. it’s v mild but pls be careful yall (i know, this fic was supposed to be fluffy 😅)
posted on ao3
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Billy’s life had changed a lot in the past two years. 
So much that some days he barely recognizes himself in the mirror. The scars, the state of his hair—which he hasn’t cut since last summer and generally just throws back for convenience’ sake—the stubble he doesn’t bother with most days. Small things, in the grander scheme of what’s different about his life, but it adds up.
And it’s Friday night, he’s curled up at home, and perfectly content to be there. 
There’s a steaming mug of cider on the coffee table (a scratched-up old thing that Hop left him when he officially handed off ownership of his trailer to Billy), and wind rattling the windows, and Max is asleep in the next room. It’s...cozy. 
El stopped by earlier that afternoon, Max in tow, demanding Billy let them stay because Mike was being a dick or a DnD campaign was going on too long and El’s character died a while back so she was bored, or...something. Possibly Mike was being a dick about her character being dead. Max kept chiming in with her own two cents worth but it really just made the whole thing harder to follow.
But it didn’t really matter why they stopped by, they’re always coming up with reasons to invade his living room and eat all his food and nag him about teaching them how to do fancy braids. And Max usually wanders off to nap in his room when El starts asking Billy to read to her.
Which is what he’s doing now. 
Last month he read her Jane Eyre (her idea). A week ago they started The Hobbit. 
It’s been slow going, considering how often El interrupts to ask questions, and every time there’s a song they have the same argument about him not actually singing, but they’re making progress. 
He’s reading through the weird goblin song as monotone as possible just so he can laugh at El’s disgruntled scrunchy face, and putting up with her poking his thigh with her toes when he rolls his eyes at her, and honestly having the time of his fucking life, because, yeah, saying things have changed in the past two years is the understatement of the decade.
When he gets to the end of Over Hill and Under Hill and closes the book she gasps dramatically, sitting up and pulling the ugly orange throw blanket (gift from Mrs. Byers) she’d been snuggled up in tighter around her shoulders.
“Billy, no!” 
He drops the book in his lap and raises his eyebrows at her. “It’s the end of the chapter.”
“No.”
“Yeah, it definitely is.”
El frowns at him, her whole face going pinched. “But you can’t stop there.”
It’s moments like this that almost make Billy forget she can kill people with her brain. Moments when she just looks like a kid, all wrapped up in her favourite blanket and pouting. 
And it’s like she knows that’s his goddamn kryptonite. Because those moments also remind him that she deserves this. More than anyone he knows, she deserves all the childish crap she wants, and more. It won’t ever replace the childhood that was taken from her, but it’s a start.
So, needless to say, Billy has a hard time saying no to her.
He drops his head back against the cushion behind him, staring at the ceiling for a moment—pretending to contemplate, while she glowers at him—and sighs loudly. 
“One more chapter.” 
She beams.
They’re only a few pages into Riddles in the Dark when a car pulls up, and Billy doesn’t even have time to put the book down before the front door bursts open. 
“El! Will thought he—is that The Hobbit?” Dustin comes to an abrupt halt two paces into the room, blinking at the book in Billy’s hands. All his little friends nearly collide with his back, and there’s suddenly a gaggle of obnoxious teenagers huddled in Billy’s doorway. 
“Who cares,” Lucas scoffs, pushing him out of the way so he, Wheeler, and Will, can shuffle the rest of the way inside. “Get out of the way!”
Billy is still trying to figure out what the fuck’s even happening when Steve goddamn Harrington walks in behind his pack of brats. Because of course he was the one who drove them here. Him being a fine upstanding citizen and all that. With nothing better to do, apparently. (Not that Billy has room to judge anymore.)
Suddenly the bickering kids are mostly background noise. Billy always did have a hard time concentrating on anything else when Steve’s in the room. Especially when he’s looking like that, warm brown eyes lit up with interest, and the corner of his mouth pulling upwards in a half-smile. His cheeks are pink from the chill outside, his hair a mess from the wind, and locking eyes with him makes Billy’s heart pound. 
They’ve been on good terms these past few months and it’s a special kind of torture that Billy wouldn’t give up for the fucking world.
But he doesn’t get to enjoy the view for long because—
“—the Mind Flayer might be back!”
Billy stiffens. “What?” He glances at El. She’s sitting up straight now, her eyes dark, expression closed off. 
Mike sighs irritably. “Weren’t you listening? Will thinks he might have sensed the Mind Flayer, so we needed to make sure El’s okay.” He crosses his arms, glaring at Billy. “Because the stupid thing wants her dead, remember?”
“Wheeler,” Steve hisses, and smacks the kid’s shoulder.
“Yeah.” Billy grits his teeth, cold fingers trailing down his spine. “I remember.” 
The room is silent for several agonizing seconds, the kids all exchanging glances. Until Billy’s bedroom door opens and Max shuffles out, rubbing her eyes. 
“What’s everyone doing here?” 
~~
They’d all been hanging out at Steve’s when Will had a bad feeling. The same kind of prickling bone-deep chill he’d gotten two summers ago. Needless to say, ignoring it until people started dying didn’t seem like the way to go this time, hence the home invasion.
Which had been Steve’s idea, apparently. Or. His initial reaction had been to blurt out does this mean Billy’s possessed again, and it had spiraled from there. To Mike freaking out about El not being safe because she was here, to Lucas reminding him that Billy had only gotten the better of her when she didn’t have powers, to Dustin yelling about checking in with her either way because she might have The Facts. 
And so they’d broken a couple traffic laws to get here.
Billy suspects Steve feels guilty about suggesting he might be possessed, because he got very awkward when it was brought up. And he stepped in several times when Wheeler and Sinclair’s interrogation got a little too intense (there were threats of hot pokers involved).
It should have felt condescending—Billy’s a grown-ass adult, he doesn’t need someone defending him from lanky teenagers—but he can’t help feeling a little warm when it’s Steve coming to his defense. 
The discussion overall is a mess. El doesn’t have any answers, Billy hasn’t felt anything odd lately, and the lack of anything to go on beyond Will having a momentary freakout is putting everyone on edge. 
Max, who squished herself onto the couch between Billy and El, cuts through the cyclical arguing after the third dramatic eye-roll from Mike. “Guys, can you cool it for a second. We’re getting nowhere.” Her protest is punctuated by a yawn, which makes El giggle. 
“She’s right,” Steve sighs, mussing with his hair absentmindedly. “Billy and El are fine, everyone’s fine, we should all get some sleep.”
“Dude, are you sure you’re good to drive?” Dustin asks, squinting appraisingly at Steve. It’s a fair question, it’s late and Steve looks like he’s about to keel over, but Billy’s not sure he likes where this is going.
“Who said anything about driving?” Max snorts, glancing at Billy. 
Damnit Max.
“Is there even space for everyone here? This place is tiny.”
“Fuck you, Wheeler, not all of us can live in goddamn mansions.”
The kid opens his mouth to retort, bristling with indignation, but Will interjects, stuttering a little in his haste, “I, um, I’d feel a little safer if everyone, you know, stayed in one place? At least for tonight?”
And that pretty much settles it. 
Once everyone mumbles their (in some cases reluctant) agreement, El crows “Sleepover!” and drags Max off to find spare blankets, leaving Billy sitting on the couch alone and wondering where the hell Steve is gonna sleep. For...no particular reason...other than…
Well.
It’s not like Mike was wrong, the trailer wasn’t built to house six teenagers and two twenty-somethings. Most of them are going to end up squished on the living room floor, and Max and El already called dibs on the couch, and...well, unless Steve wants to crash in the fucking kitchen there really isn’t anywhere else for him to go other than Billy’s room. He doesn’t even have a goddamn tub the guy could curl up in. 
And just because he’s wanted Steve Harrington in his bed since minute one, doesn’t mean he wants it right now. Not like this. 
Because like this he has to deal with Max’s side-eye, and El’s knowing look (the girl has been in his head, she literally knows everything about him), and Will’s weird wide-eyed interest, and worst of all, Steve not doing this because he wants to. 
In fact, judging by the way he blanches when Max suggests it, Billy’s room is the last place he’d like to be. Which is not really something Billy ever really wanted hard proof of, thanks. 
He’s dealt with enough in his life, he didn’t need to know exactly how repulsive Steve finds the idea of sleeping in the same room as him. 
“You’re welcome to sleep in your goddamn car if my floor isn’t good enough for you, Harrington,” he bites out, probably harsher than was warranted. 
Steve blinks at him, mouth falling open, eyebrows raised. 
“Oh my god, it’s too cold to sleep outside, Billy,” Max says, rolling her eyes. “Stop being such a dick.”
“Whatever,” he mutters. “Figure your shit out, I’m going to bed.” 
The silence he leaves behind is tense and awkward. 
He’s been laying in bed staring at the ceiling, moping and berating himself, for about ten minutes when the door creaks open.
“Hey, uh,” Steve’s voice is soft, uncertain, and Billy feels like even more of an asshole for snapping at him. “I’m just...gonna...crash on the floor. Um. Good night.”
This is punishment isn’t it. For being such a douche for so long. Now he gets to try and fall asleep knowing Steve fucking Harrington is laying nearby, sleepy and warm and out of reach. He listens to Steve shuffle around, getting situated, laying out blankets and trying to find a soft bit of carpet to lay on. Has to bite his tongue to keep from saying something stupid. Like offering up his bed. Or poking fun at how much Steve sighs when he’s getting comfortable (Because it’s dumb, not cute. Definitely not cute.).
It’s unclear how long they lay there in the dark, Billy watching moonlight cast the outlines of skeletal trees across the wall, listening to Steve’s quiet breathing to remind himself he’s not alone. That the shadows are just shadows and there’s no reason to be tense and sweating and—
Billy’s pretty sure it’s been long enough that Steve should be asleep, considering how tired he looked, so he tosses his blanket off and swipes the pack of cigarettes off his bedside table, hoping to god the floor doesn’t creak when he pads across the room. There’s no noise coming from the other room, so either the kids are asleep too or a miracle has occurred and they’re all just being really quiet. 
He slips out the side door, and takes a breath. The lake is too still, despite the wind. No self-respecting body of water doesn’t have waves. But it’s pretty enough, he supposes. Enough to make for a decent view while he smokes a cigarette.
Takes a couple tries to light up. His hands aren’t what they used to be, especially in the cold. Holding off a thirty-foot meat puppet bare-handed does that to a person, tears shit up that doesn’t heal right afterwards.
He’s about halfway through his cig when Steve joins him. Billy’s shoulders stiffen at the sound of footsteps, and he doesn’t relax at all when he realizes who it is. 
“Hey.”
Out of the corner of his eye Billy watches Steve lean against the porch railing beside him. He takes another drag before he looks over properly, keeping his expression as neutral as possible. “Fancy meeting you here.” 
“Couldn’t sleep?”
Billy raises his eyebrows. Gestures with his cigarette and turns away again. “No shit.”
He can feel Steve’s eyes on him, and he resolutely ignores it. Stares out at the water and flicks cigarette ash over the railing. The wind picks up again and cuts through his thin shirt. Should’ve grabbed a fucking sweater. Not because the cold bothers him at all, but...well, because it doesn’t anymore.
He shivers when a completely-unrelated-to-the-weather chill runs down his spine.
“Soo…” Steve fidgets, and trails off awkwardly, his nonchalance painfully fake.
The corner of Billy’s mouth twitches, and he raises his cigarette to his lips, a flimsy excuse to hide his smile. 
“Did, uh. Did El choose the book, or…?”
He chokes on a mouthful of smoke. Doc Owens did tell him he shouldn’t have taken up smoking again. Though he was probably more concerned about Billy’s scarred lungs and than Steve Harrington-related hazards. 
Coughing definitely does hurt a lot more than it used to though. 
He flinches when Steve touches his shoulder, pats it, rubs a little—trying to help with the coughing, presumably—making Billy’s heart trip over itself. 
Once he’s no longer wheezing he wipes his eyes, and waves off Steve’s apologies, hoping the embarrassed flush on his cheeks isn’t too visible in the dim light. 
Steve’s hand stays where it is.
For several quiet moments Billy waits for him to withdraw but he doesn’t, and Billy finally meets his eyes. Which was probably a mistake. His heart skips again. He’s still not used to Steve looking at him like that. Soft and wide-eyed and concerned and…
God, he’s so fucking beautiful. Billy used to dream about getting this close without needing pretense, without having to pretend, getting to bask in the warmth coming off him and feel his breath on his skin and see something other than indifference—or worse, the hatred that came later—looking back at him. What he has now is...not quite what he wants. It lights him up but leaves him wanting. 
Another gust of wind makes a mess of Steve’s hair, locks falling into his eyes and sticking up in all directions, and Billy itches. Clenches his fist to stop himself from fixing it.
“Her dweeby little friends kept talking about it, and she couldn’t get through it herself. So...” Billy trails off, scratching his cheek and glancing away. “I may have had a copy laying around.”
Steve’s hand finally leaves its perch on his shoulder—both a disappointment and a relief—to brush the stray locks of hair out of his face. He grins at Billy, whole face lit up and stupidly pretty even as his fingers get stuck in tangles. “Really?” 
“Yeah.” Billy bites the inside of his cheek. “My mom used to read it to me.” 
It’s easier to talk about her now. Mostly with El, who’s still the only person who knows the full story, but, well, he’s pretty sure at least Max and Steve have guessed the bits they weren’t told. Or, hell, maybe El told everyone everything during those months he was out of commission and everyone thought he was dead, and no one’s brought it up to his face because it would be awkward as hell. 
In any case, Steve’s expression softens. 
“Oh,” he says quietly. “So, you and her were pretty close, huh?”
If asked Billy would have blamed the sudden sting of tears in his eyes on the wind. “I guess.” A pause. “Not enough for her to take me when she left,” he mumbles, chewing his thumbnail and frowning out at the lake.
His cigarette hangs between two fingers in his other hand. 
“Billy…”
“Don’t. I’ve heard every condolence in the book, okay. It’s...it’s fine.”
For several long moments the only sounds are the dry rustle of leaves in the wind and Billy’s nail-biting. 
Then Steve slips his fingers around Billy’s wrist and tugs gently. Too surprised to resist, Billy lets him. Lets his hand be pulled away from his face, thumb pressed to his pulsepoint, lets him hold on for a beat longer than necessary before letting go. And Billy stares at him the whole time, lips parted, shoulders tense, waiting to see what Steve will do next.
What he does next is smile a little sad, and tilt his head. “It’s a bad habit, you know. Biting your nails.” 
“I don’t have any other kind of habit.”
“Hm,” Steve hums, “I don’t think that’s true.” 
Which is a weird thing to say, and a weird thing to get emotional over, and yet Billy kind of feels like he’s been punched in the chest.
He rubs at the knotted scar tissue that spiderwebs across his whole torso, and can’t help but wonder—not for the first time—if Steve’s perception of him might be a little blinded by the one good thing he’s ever done. He’s tried to be better since then, atone a little, but Steve’s confidence in him still feels unearned.
And all the work he’s put into getting his shit together might all be for nothing anyways, if some fucking slime monster decides to crawl down his throat again. If Will’s right and that thing is back...for all he knows the thing has it out for him too, after the shit he pulled at Starcourt. He thought he’d end up dead, he wasn’t exactly worried about making himself a target in the long run. 
But now...
Billy exhales slowly through his nose, eyes falling shut for a moment before he grits out, “I can’t do it again.” Steve blinks at him, nonplussed. “This,” he taps his scars, “The fucking. Mind Flayer bullshit. I can’t.”
“You…” Steve folds his arms across his stomach, hands clutching his elbows. It’s a nervous tic that makes Billy ache. Always makes his heart clench, but tonight that gets lost in the black hole of anxiety already twisting up his insides  “You won’t have to, I—we’ll protect you. If we stick together—”
“It’s not a guarantee.”
“No, but—”
“We don’t know anything about this alien shit, for all we know I was never really free of it, and—I just—promise you won’t let it use me again,” Billy’s voice breaks, and he clenches his jaw to try and hold it all back, the taste of bile in the back of his throat, the crushing weight of existential panic pressing in. 
Steve’s eyes widen, “What do you mean by that?”
“You know what I mean. Crash another car into me. Let your ex shoot me in the fucking head. I don’t care how, I need you to stop me.” He needs to understand, Billy’s eyes bore into him, willing him to understand.
But he shakes his head, face twisted up with horror, “I don’t think I can do that.”
Billy takes a step towards him, desperation bleeding into his voice, “Steve.” He blinks back tears. “Please.” 
“Don’t—” Steve looks away, curling in on himself, “Don’t do that.”
“Do what, ask you to perform a public fucking service?” Billy spits, eyes stinging, face burning. He regrets the words once they’re spoken, but there’s no taking them back now. He’s talked with Owens about this sort of shit and he thought he was past it. 
Apparently not.
He deflates. Like a slap in the face, it stops him dead, turns his agonizing back inward where it fucking belongs. Wiping his eyes, he sighs. 
It’s too late to stop the puppy-dog eyes Steve’s giving him now though. The unreserved sadness in the way he’s looking at Billy is so overwhelming it’s almost palpable. “Is that really how you feel?”
Is it? He’s not sure anymore. It was for a long time. Long enough that he couldn’t remember feeling any other kind of way until El reminded him. But now…
He shrugs. “It’s...complicated. I—ah, shit!” His hand jerks, and the cigarette he’d been holding falls to the ground. That never used to hurt so fucking much. “Damn thing burnt me.” 
He sucks on the stinging knuckle, waiting for the pain to subside, tasting salt and ash, and looks back up at Steve.
They lock eyes.
Steve’s expression has closed off, his gaze still heavy, but with something else, sliding down Billy’s face with an intensity Billy’s not quite sure what to make of. He’s struck dumb by the attention (not something he usually has a problem handling), lips still wrapped around his finger but his mouth has gone slack.
It feels like a static shock, one crackling jolt of a moment, something sharp lancing through him, and then it’s over. Steve’s blinking, glancing away. Billy’s hand falls to his side. It would be like it never happened except he still feels charged, pent up, heart full to bursting and stomach in knots. 
Billy sighs, and rubs his eyes. “Let’s just...go back to bed.”
Wording, Billy. Wording. His cheeks warm a little, but he manages to keep his expression neutral as he turns and heads back inside.
He practically throws himself into his bed, curling up on his side and pulling the blankets around him, back turned to Steve. Sleep seems like a pipe dream at this point, but doing anything other than pretending to get some rest would involve talking to and/or looking at Steve, so. Not an option. 
But after he listens to Steve settle back into his little pile of blankets, the minutes crawl by, and Billy gets twitchy. Wants so badly to move, toss and turn and fidget, and say something, but doesn’t know where to start and doesn’t want to draw Steve’s attention, and—
God, this is so fucking stupid.
Billy rolls over. “Steve.”
“Yeah?” 
The room is silent for a beat. He shuffles around a little and the sheets rustle loudly in the quiet.  
“Would you get up here,” he says suddenly, all at once, demanding, scarcely believing what the fuck is coming out of his mouth. 
“...What?” Steve sounds a little breathless and it makes Billy’s stomach clench.
“Just...there’s enough room for both of us, alright.” Jesus christ. 
The lump of Steve and blankets on the floor doesn’t move. He doesn’t speak, for what seems like an eternity, and Billy’s about to brush it off, turn it into a joke, take it back, something, when—
“Okay.”
Oh.
What?
Oh god, he’s getting up. This is happening. Billy stares at his silhouette, the tense line of his shoulders, his awkward gait, and wonders why he’s agreeing to this if he’s so goddamn uncomfortable. 
Guess the floor is officially less comfortable than being in bed with Billy. Joy.
But then he’s sliding under the covers and Billy forgets to be bitter because his brain is mostly static at this point. White noise and his heartbeat thundering in his ears and the deafening creak of boxspring groaning under unexpected weight.
And Steve’s doing that thing again, sighing, little hums as he wiggles around getting himself situated, and Billy is dying. He thought he was being punished before, but now he’s sure, because this is ridiculous. No grown man should be that adorable. 
By the time he’s gotten himself comfy Billy is about ready to combust. 
It doesn’t help that he’s decided to lay down extremely close and facing Billy. It’s so intimate it hurts.
“Do you think you’ll actually sleep?”
Billy shrugs noncommittally. “Maybe.” He tries to make it sound more casual than it is. Like it’s a choice and not the sad fact that he’s too fucking anxious to relax. 
Seems he’s not the only one though, Steve keeps fidgeting, his face doing something weird Billy can’t quite see in the gloom. But he doesn’t have to see to recognize Steve’s tics.
“Spit it out,” Billy sighs.
“What did you mean. When you said it’s complicated?” Steve asks softly.
Ah.
“You really wanna get into this?” He sure doesn’t, but Steve nods and Billy’s fucking weak when it comes to giving Steve what he wants. “I meant that...I...used to feel like that. All the time. It was fucking relentless.” He thinks about rolling onto his back so he won’t have to look at Steve for this, but finds himself stuck, drawn in by the faint starlight reflected in Steve’s eyes. “But nowadays I’ve got...shit to hang on for, I guess. Doesn’t make it all go away, but it makes it easier.”
“Oh.” Steve wriggles a little closer, his hand landing in the space between their pillows. Right next to Billy’s hand. Close enough that he can feel him there, but not quite touching.
He doesn’t say anything else, which Billy’s grateful for. He’s got Doc Owens for the big speeches about how life is worth living, and it’s grating enough getting them from someone who’s literal job is to say that kind of shit. 
It helps. It does. But he can only handle so much.
Speaking of which.
“I’m sorry,” Billy says quietly. He’s keeping his hand too still for it to come across as casual, trembling with the effort. If he moved his pinky just a little they’d be touching, and he’s painfully aware of this fact.
“What for?”
“Earlier, when I...I was asking for a lot.”
“Oh.” Steve shifts, the blankets rustling as he shuffles around, but as much as he fidgets, his hand stays where it is. “Billy...I don’t want you to have to go through that again, but…”
Billy, on an impulse—with a feeling somewhat akin to stepping off a ledge without a parachute—hooks his pinky over Steve’s. In the dark he hears a soft intake of breath, can just barely make out the way Steve’s mouth falls open, moonlight casting shadows when his tongue darts out to lick his lips. 
“I know. It wasn’t fair to—”
“No, no,” Steve flips his palm upward and laces their fingers together, squeezing Billy’s hand. “It’s not that. You have every right to be scared, and...look, this whole thing is batshit crazy, none of us know how to deal with it.” 
Billy runs his thumb along the length of Steve’s index finger, marvelling at the contact, and the way his pulse flutters when the gesture is returned. It takes him a second to find his voice, “True, but you’ve never asked me to mercy kill you.”
Steve exhales, the ghost of a laugh, and it warms the back of Billy’s hand. He shivers, his whole arm tingling. “Billy, I haven’t gone through half the shit you have.” A pause. “I want to help. Anything you need, just...not that.” 
Anything. It catches in Billy’s throat, stops his heart for just a second, reminds him that they’re inches apart, in bed together. For the second time tonight he feels like he’s been punched in the sternum, and he goes rigid, relaxing only minutely when Steve squeezes his hand again.
“Careful, pretty boy. Saying shit like that might give a guy ideas,” he murmurs, gaze searching, wandering Steve’s face, the shadows cast by the soft fall of hair across his forehead.
“Oh yeah?” Steve pulls their clasped hands to his chest. His heart is racing, but his voice is steady, “Well, have enough ideas with no follow-through and a guy might think you’re all talk.”
Billy’s breath catches. The world stops. “You...you don’t want me to follow through.” 
The reality of the situation hits him like a train. Flirting is one thing, he’s always had a hard time keeping his mouth shut around Steve, but this is something he’d only ever regretted letting himself imagine because he knew he’d never have it. And now that it’s within reach...
“See, the thing is…” Steve slides a little closer. His knee brushes Billy’s thigh. “I really, really do.”
“I—” his voice breaks, mouth dry, throat closing up as he tries to swallow past the lump making it hard to breathe. 
“Billy,” Steve whispers, a hot puff of air against Billy’s lips. “Please.”
Fuck.
He surges forward—hard enough that their teeth click together—and his mouth muffles Steve’s gasp. The hand not cradled against Steve’s chest comes up to touch his cheek, fingertips caressing his jaw, coaxing him closer, sliding back to thread into his hair. 
Steve’s lips are plush and warm against his, curved into a smile that leaves Billy tingling, dizzy and drunk on sensations. The way his mouth tastes, the softness of his skin under Billy’s scarred palm, the way his heart twists when Steve reaches out to touch his chest.
He pulls back, and rests his forehead against Steve’s. His eyes stay shut and he just breathes. Soaks up the moment. 
“God,” Steve sighs, nuzzling their noses together. “Always knew you’d be good at that.”
“Yeah?” Billy asks quietly, fiddling with the stray locks of hair behind Steve’s ear. He’s feeling...raw. Vulnerable. It’s a fragile state of being, one wrong word away from breaking. Or a few right words away from fucking bliss, but that never seems to be how it goes for him. 
“Yeah, even when we didn’t like each other I wondered. Annoyed the hell outta me.”
“Steve…” He pauses, choosing his words carefully, “I always liked you.”  If his heart wasn’t already racing, it sure would be now. He braces himself for the worst.
But it doesn’t come. There’s a pause. Steve’s fingers curl into the front of his shirt. “Oh.” He presses a chaste kiss to Billy’s lips, lingering, before chuckling lightly. “That explains a lot actually.”
Billy’s cheeks burn. Yeah, he supposes it would. “You’re not...freaked out?” he ventures, hesitant. 
“Mm, nope.” He reaches up, brushes a stray curl out of Billy’s face. “Definitely okay with this.”
I love you.
The thought doesn’t shock him but the desire to say it out loud does. The way it lodges itself in his throat and sticks. He hasn’t said it to anyone—hasn’t wanted to say it to anyone—since his mother left. The precedent is intimidating, but…
Steve smells like honey and clean air, laying in bed with Billy, warm and pliant next to him tracing patterns in Billy’s scars, his gaze is fond, his smile is soft, and...and Billy’s in love.
He swallows. Pushes it down for now. 
He kisses Steve again. Slower. A gentle press of mouths, and another. Takes his time deepening it, teasing with his tongue. He waits for Steve to pull away, to decide that this thing is one thing too far, but it never happens. Steve lets him escalate, and gives as good as he gets. 
They’re both breathless and flushed and Billy’s riding high on the bubbling warmth in his chest, lightheaded from it. He slides his leg over Steve’s, straddling his thigh, pressing down, seeking friction. 
He shifts, rocking forward a little, and Steve moans, low and deep right in Billy’s ear.
They both freeze. Steve’s breath coming in ragged little bursts against the side of Billy’s face. 
“Pretty boy, as much as I’d love to hear more of that, no one else in the house does.”
“Jesus christ.”
“No need to bring him into it.”
“Shut up,” Steve laughs and buries his face in Billy’s shoulder. “Just give me a minute.”
“Aw, I get you all riled up, baby?” 
Steve slides a hand down, down, and palms Billy’s cock, drawing a short gasp from him. “Yes.”
They stay entangled the rest of the night, dozing in and out of consciousness, Steve pressing the occasional sleepy kiss to Billy’s collarbone. And...Billy’s not sure what will happen after tonight, but he knows it’ll be easier to deal with if he gets to keep this. Whatever this is. He doesn’t have the heart to ask, not yet, but for the first time in a while, he has hope.
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The Magnus Archives Relisten: Episode 120 - Eye Contact
A cold and well-cleaned room, sterile metal tables that overflow with a gentle trickle of blood. The hearts that beat upon them spasm and spurt without any sort of rhythm, and were they to stand still for but a moment, it might become clear just how wrong they are in their construction. - Statement of Elias Bouchard
So when I first listened to this episode, I didn't realise that the statements referenced here are SPECIFICALLY those and ONLY those that Jon took himself. I also didn't remember what some of the references actually referred to. So I'm probably going to be spending this entire relisten going "Oh, that was THAT statement", starting with this bit, being clearly in reference to "Anatomy Class" (episode 34).
The doctor cannot bring himself to look at the tables, so instead, looks to the Archivist, whose eye watches him, and cannot close.
"Eye" singular sooo ... does dream!Jon appear as a cyclops? But no, I'm imagining him more as a three-eyed being. Two eyes closed in sleep, one Eye eternally open to watch.
Desperate, he tries to throw the apple at his observer, but it is too late. The doctor has forgotten how the elbows work, and wrenches it to the side with a sickening crack. He tries again to scream, but he hasn’t got the throat right, and the wheezing, half-choked gurgle that escapes would stir pity in the Archivist, if he had not heard it so many times before.
It's kind of fascinating to me that the doctor's nightmares focus not so much on the idea of inhuman strangers pretending to be human but on HIMSELF forgetting how to human. To be honest, that IS actually scarier, but not what I expected, exactly, given the origin of his nightmare.
He turns to see the familiar screen, the familiar woman beneath it. She looks up at him with an expression of recognition and weary dread. She types and types and types, her fingers a blur, flying across the keyboard, and yet never fast enough to outrun the relentless words that flow like dark water across the screen that stretches off into the sky.
Episode 65: Binary
He passes those places he can no longer watch – the silent wards of peeling skin, the empty warehouse of thick darkness and frightened children, the rusted train car that smells of eager, infectious hate.
Okay, so this one gave me trouble, so I ended up checking the Wiki to figure it out. The silent wards of peeling skin is Melanie's statement about the hospital. The empty warehouse of thick darkness and frightened children is Basira's statement about Rayner. The rusted train car is, once again, Melanie's statement. Why can he no longer access these? Basira and Melanie are both still alive, after all. Is it because they're being "protected" by their own Entities? But...
The rain is still there, though it is empty. The long and desolate road, slick with the downpour; a police car’s lights flashing over the unmoving van. The doors are open, and the too-familiar statues stand either side of the well-worn wooden box.
Daisy is about as Hunt as Hunt can be and has been for a long time, so why can he get to her nightmare just fine? So I don't get why Melanie's and Basira's nightmares aren't watchable.
Here he sees the train, twisted and pressed in on all sides, nothing but shrieking metal and cracked glass. He climbs inside, and takes his seat, mouth tasting of mud and soil, his eyes moving through the dust and grit unblinking.
Episode 71: Underground
He catches a glimpse of an advert above his seat: “Dig.”
"Dig" wasn't actually a statement taken by Jon, but then this nightmare is of the Buried, so it makes sense for it to be here anyway.
There is a door in front of him. A yellow door. He knows the dream it used to lead to; he knows it well. But that’s not where it leads anymore. He does not know what is behind it anymore, and he is deathly afraid of finding out.
This used to be Helen's nightmare, but of course Helen is now melded into the Distortion so yeah, going through that door would be one MESS of an experience.
The Archivist turns away. Behind him are the ants. They move like a terrible rolling wave along the hard-packed ground, and he can see every twitching antenna, every clenching mandible. Somewhere, underneath that twitching, burrowing mass, is the exterminator.
Episode 55: Pest Control
Before him rises an incinerator door, the glowing light of the flames curling around the cracks. With a wailing shriek, the door opens, and the burning silhouette that stands within is ingrained upon the Archivist’s racing mind. They smoke and sizzle, but still the worms crawl through her charred and pockmarked flesh, her now-singed red dress shifting with the movement beneath it.
Okay, this is interesting 'cause Jon is still in Jordan Kennedy's nightmare, but given how traumatised Jon was by Jane Prentiss, this may as well be his own. And his reaction to it as recounted by Elias actually does make it sound like this is one of the hardest dreams to watch because it hits so close to home.
When faced with her, he even longs for the terrible dream of the melted woman, who would see everything desolated without rhyme or reason. But she was beyond his reach the moment she knew he was there, so the Archivist can only stand and stare, as the hive goes about its infested, long-dead work.
Jude Perry (who somehow fucked off out of Beholding's reach)
The dark building is newer, but he knows it well; knows the two lost souls who creep through it with an alert hunger on their faces. He recognizes that look from the other hunter, whose dreams he has watched for so long. They stalk the darkness itself, and hope to catch and kill it before it can do the same to them. They see him watching, but they cannot catch his scent.
And this one is Julia and Trevor's nightmare.
At last, he is in the moonlit graveyard – the oldest of the dreams. It is peaceful, cool and damp, as the rolling, boggy fields stretch out in all directions. He hears her calling pathetically from the bottom of the graves, but by now he knows there is nothing he can do but stare. She begs to be released, to dream of this place no more, but there is nothing he can do.
And this is Episode 13: Alone.
Another dissection room, another figure standing in its centre – but this one is calm. She simply looks at him sadly, a pity in her face that burns him worse than any flame. More than anything, the Archivist wants to look away, to turn his eye from her gentle sadness, from the disappointment in what she sees in him.
Is this Georgie, then, who is beyond the reach of fear, even when she is still being watched?
Elias: Hello, Inspector. Martin. I’m, uh, sorry to hear about Tim
Until this point I was still hoping that Tim had somehow survived, despite the fact that the narrative was HEAVILY signposting that he wouldn't for multiple episodes.
Martin: You didn’t just see it in me? Elias: Honestly, I didn’t look. For all my power, I will admit I am not immune to making the occasional lazy assumption.
People keep making this mistake with Martin, don't they?
Peter: Oh, and if you want to talk to a counselor, the Institute will of course cover any cost.
Okay, but like, why exactly is the embodiment of isolating-yourself-and-never-talking-to-anyone-about-anything suggesting counselling? Is this something along the lines of ... making sure Martin doesn't actually talk to his friends and colleagues thing? Giving him an impersonal outlet that won't create the same sort of connection?
My impression of this episode
So I spent most of the first listen AND the relisten trying to figure out which reference goes with which statement, but actually, looking past the "spot the reference" game, this episode is very well written and when you let the horror of it sink in, it's really rather - well - horrific: all these people, endlessly relieving their trauma every night, including Jon who's being forced to watch and cannot look away. Where the overall plot is concerned: I did not imagine Martin getting Elias arrested or Peter Lukas becoming the new head of the Institute - at all. It is a pretty lovely set-up for the next season.
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fanficparker · 3 years
Text
Under My Umbrella | Tom x Haz one-shot
Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x Tom Holland
Word count: 5.5k words
Warnings: Swearing, angst, lots of tears, alcohol
Summary: The one where Harrison did the audacity to kiss his life-long best friend or his twin sister’s boyfriend.
A/N: Life is short and this is just a piece of fiction, why stop myself from posting it on my own blog?
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PART 1 ♡
(Tom's POV)
"I am so sorry. OH GOD, I AM SO SORRY!"
I hear Harrison screaming on the top of his voice. My vision is blurry, the rain isn't allowing me to see much, although I am sure there is much more than just the rain pouring down his face; his tears were also streaming down along with it.
He had taken five steps away from me after kissing me in the rain and my world has already fallen apart. He is pulling at his curls so aggressively. He will hurt himself. I take a step towards him with my hands reaching out but he takes another step back.
He is drifting away from me. And I am drifting apart from myself.
I freeze on my feet. My heartbeat feels non-existent. I am confused. Am I dead or alive? If I am dead then where am I? Is it heaven or hell? It kind of feels like both.
Harrison has just kissed me. His taste is still lingering on my tongue. My head is spinning without even a single drop of alcohol. His touch did this to me. And now I am starving. Starving for more.
"I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have. Shit! I SHOULDN'T HAVE!"
"No... No... " I try to stop him but he's already running. My ankle is aching. I can't run fast, I can't catch his pace. Then, he slowly vanishes away from my sight.
"HARRISON! HARRISON... PLEASE STOP! Please stop... Please..." I scream, sinking down to the footpath. I was too late to scream. I was too late to stop him.
He's gone. He broke the promise.
***
I can hear those distinct lyrics as the soft music resonates in the air. It's the Ember Island's version— our favourite version. I am sitting here waiting for the interviewers to arrive but my mind keeps drifting off to the song.
"This is our song!" Harrison says as we are lying down on the bed.
"Umbrella? Really?" I ask, surprised.
He turns on his side and faces me, I do the same. His head rests on his elbow while my head is still on the pillow. We were looking at each other.
"Yeah..." His voice is soft. He hums and looks back at the ceiling while the music plays from his phone. He starts lip-syncing along with the lyrics, "Cause in the dark, you can't see shiny cars. And that's when you need me there with you, I'll always share. Because..."
"When the sun shine, we shine together. Told you I'll be here forever---"
"You are singing." RDJ chuckles sitting beside me. And I realise that I was actually singing. My stomach twists into a knot and my face gets warm.
"We can sing it together, kiddo!" He says, enthusiastically.
"I... er..." I try to stop him but he is already singing.
Why am I always late?
"Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh..." RDJ is singing, he is nodding his head sideways and is peaking at me occasionally.
The song is the same but the voice is different. The lyrics mean different when Harrison sang them. In Harrison's voice, they meant something but right now they are just raw. Hollow.
***
We are on the same magazine cover.
Oh my god.
We are on the same freaking magazine cover!
'The Spider-man 3 star tells us about his secret power food', The Hollywood Reporter headline reads with my gym photo-shoot as the background.
There are three more sub-headlines to the cover, placed near the right margin. The second one says, 'Harrison Osterfield: The young British actor tells us about his inspirational journey as the young face for Agent 007. (Pg. 3-4)'
The rumours were true. He has done it.
Oh my god. And I am not even there to congratulate him.
"I am so proud of you. I knew you would grab it!" Harrison bounces on his feet while I stand near him, blushing furiously.
"My mate is Spider-man! My mate is THE Spider-man!!" He proudly yells and keeps his palms on my shoulders. When I look up into his blue eyes, they are glossy and act like mirrors. I can see myself reflecting through them. Then I notice a little pinch of sadness shining through them.
"Don't forget me though..." He says slowly. His energetic voice started sounding cracked. It made me think for a moment.
I gulp, "You can be my assistant. I-It will help you... gain experience in the industry." I was planning to ask him this since my role was confirmed because how was I even supposed to step into my new, more chaotic life without my biggest support system?
He pulls back his arms from my shoulders and looks at me with wide eyes.
"What?"
"Yes!... Also, you know... I-I am kinda afraid going on the journey alone." I bite at my lower lip.
Just say yes, I pray silently.
"Oh, div! You'll not be alone there. You'll have big stars. All those fancy people, fancy life-style and those fancy---"
"These fancy things will never come in between us, Harrison," I cut his rambling off. He pauses and glances at me.
"I am alone without you..."
I am always alone without him.
I regret not saying always, even though it doesn't matter anymore.
My fingers flip through the pages, my eyes land on his half-page portrait. He was wearing a black and white formal suit; his index finger is pressed against his forehead as he is bent forward while his were eyes boring into the front. They are staring into my soul.
My breath hitches in my throat. It's just his portrait but those eyes. Those eyes. I avert my gaze from the picture to the text. He talks about his journey from school to landing this role. He talks about his family, he talks about his journey as my assistant and then he talks about me. I can hear his voice even when it's just plain text.
'I cannot thank Tom enough. He pushed me harder whenever I slowed down. He pulled me up when I fell down. I really look up to him.'
No Harrison, you are wrong. You pushed me harder when I slowed down. You pulled me up when I fell down. It's me who looks up to you.
"Oh em jee!" The teen girl squeals seeing me at the airport. Harrison and I were walking, dragging our trolleys. I was wearing a cap, sunglasses and even had my hoodie on yet she somehow spotted me. She ran towards me.
"You are Tom Holland! I am such a huge fan of you!!!" She is still squealing as she takes out her phone, asking me for a picture. I was really sleepy and sleep-deprived at the same time, but it still made me smile. I lowered my hoodie and took off my goggles.
Harrison was standing beside me, grinning too. I was ready for her to take a selfie with us but then she walks up to Harrison and points her phone to him.
"Huh?"
I see a little confusion appear on his face.
"Take our picture," She says almost disrespectfully. I feel a pang in my heart, I can't even imagine what he must be feeling. But then he looks at me, takes the phone and smiles.
The girl stands beside me, and Harrison is standing in front of us.
"Smile..." He whispers, looking at me in the eye, his face breaking into a bigger grin and I can't stop the smile that spreads across my own lips seeing him smile.
But I know he was sad from inside and even when I was physically present there, I wasn't still there to make him really smile, the one that makes his eyes crinkle.
I am really sorry for making you feel left out when all you did was try to make me feel included. Sorry for every time I left you alone. Yet, you always kept smiling. How do you do that?
I seriously need to learn a lot from you...
***
I had stopped stalking him on social media weeks ago. It was taking a toll on my mental health. But much to my dismay, I had a notification of him mentioning me in his Instagram story. My finger hovers over the unseen story. I click to see it.
The story was completely black, he has even tagged me in black. This story is exclusively for me. The song plays in the background.
No. No.
He can't do this to me.
He can't fucking do this to me.
"Now that it's raining more than ever, Know that we still have each other, You can stand under my---"
I threw my phone at the wall and the song stops playing abruptly. I am sure that I broke the device. But at least the song has ended.
I hate him for this!
How can he do this do me? How can he go so low?
I sunk down to the floor of my room. I am not just crying, I am screaming. Just like that night when I sunk down to the footpath...
Harrison and I were walking on the wet footpath. The rain was only getting heavier but none of us cared. The occasional honking of vehicles or the whooshing sound of tires against the wet concrete didn't bother us either.
Our shoulders were bumping against each other while we talked and laughed at stupid things. We sometimes did it, went out to have an ice-cream and talked about everything. It cleared off our minds and provided us with a break from our busy lifestyles. Harrison was holding the umbrella over our head as he was the taller one. A small portion of my other shoulder was slightly wet even when we were super close to each other. The umbrella was small, so I shifted closer to him. But I accidentally twisted my ankle due to the slippery path.
"Ouch!" I stop, putting my arm across his shoulder to balance myself, lifting the injured foot in the air.
"What happened?" He asks in a voice full of concern, stopping his motions.
"My foot. I think... I got a sprain."
"Oh, Tom. I tell you to be careful." He says and hands me the umbrella while I shift towards the wall, supporting myself. He crouches down on the empty footpath and unties my sandals, holding my foot in his hand.
"At least I didn't break my nose this time." I chuckle but it ends up as a whimper when he twists my ankle.
"It looks mild," He declares, re-tieing my sandals and stands up. I smile at him in gratitude but he wasn't smiling back. My expression changes to reciprocate his'. Then I realise that he wasn't properly standing up. His knees were slightly bent and his face was at the same level as mine. We were staring at each other. He took a step closer to me and suddenly all my senses were shutting down. The only thing I could feel was how close he was to me, how the scent of his aftershave was the sweetest smell I have ever inhaled, how his eyes were staring at mine, how they flickered down to my lips, how they closed, how the sound of his shaky breath made my heart shiver, how his lips were feeling against mine, how his breath tasted of vanilla and chocolate...
My limbs lost all their strength and the umbrella fell down, drowning us both in pouring water. His hands came to hold mine as he interlaces his fingers through mine, giving them a little squeeze.
He was kissing away the water droplets off my lips. I didn't do anything. I just let him. Or maybe I was kissing him back but it was all... so natural. I have never felt so calm and protected in my life. The way his lips rolled over mine... I was completely intoxicated.
There was something intimate about rain. Something soothing. Your ears are drumming with the pitter-patter sound that you can't hear the regular hustle-bustle. For once I felt like Harrison and I were absolutely alone in this world. I liked that feeling.
But we weren't.
That's when the reality hit him and he panicked.
I was dating his twin sister.
PART 2 ♡
(Harrison's POV)
It's 5 am and I am still not sleeping. My headphones are plugged into my ears while I feel like an absolute piece of shit. Not just I have done the forbidden audacious task of falling for my best friend but also the heinous crime of kissing my sister's boyfriend.
Lily doesn't even know why Tom broke up with her after a relationship of over a year and that too, over the phone. She has no idea that the person she trusted so much for consoling her, the one she chose to cry in front of, the one she chose to hug, the one she chose to share her pain with was actually the sole creator of the pain. Her twin brother was nothing but a snake.
The day after I kissed Tom, there was a knock at my bedroom door in the middle of the night. As soon as the door opened, I stumbled back with what force Lily hugged me. She was crying into my t-shirt. Her behaviour confused me and an instant fear of something bad happening to her settled at the bottom of my heart; my brother instincts made my fists clench. I wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone who had hurt her this way.
"Tom broke up with me," She utters in between her sobs. Her words acted like salt being rubbed over my open wounds.
Turns out I was also a hypocrite. I didn't kill myself.
I was helpless. I felt both like the criminal and the victim at the same time.
I hugged her back tighter, hiding my face in her hair.
"I am so sorry, Lily. I am so sorry," I whimpered and kissed the top of her head as she snuggled closer to me.
She thinks my sorries were of sympathy. No. They were my apology. But they feel hollow just like my heart and existence...
***
Out of so many editions, The Hollywood Reporter apparently, chose to put me and Tom on the same one. Seems like nature has decided to pull me inside the deepest guilt trap possible. I lock the magazine in my cupboard. I no more have any desire to look inside of it.
I haven't slept for the past twenty-four hours. I am so nervous. I feel so insecure. I want to talk about me landing a significant role to him. I know it's just me playing James Bond's younger version in a long flashback and not the real James Bond, but still...
He is the only one capable of calming my nerves after my mum. But sometimes mum couldn't, sometimes it's not her field of expertise. Sometimes only a friend could help you.
Tom was roasting marshmallows in this garden when I entered and sat beside him.
"What's up champ?" He says, not even looking at me.
I was quiet and looking down at my lap when he finally notices and turns to look at me.
"How's it going?" He asks. I look up to meet his soft brown eyes, instantly melting at the sight.
"Not well... I dunno... I feel weird. I don't know if you will want to hear my rant but--"
"Just vent to me. My ears are always open..." He says, patting my knee.
I nod my head. He knows exactly what I want. He listened to all my rambles with zero interruptions even when my mouth was stuffed with marshmallows, without judging me or passing any opinion...
Turns out the asking for help from Tom option doesn't exist anymore, considering he had blocked me after me mentioning him in that blank music story and now my and his names are bouncing all over- #1. The old fashioned, not being used for what it was first designed for: Instagram; #2. The infamous, super political, the lifeline of democratic announcements: Twitter; and #3. The safe from boomers, modern version of fanfiction dot net: Tumblr.
The fans think they know better about our situation then what I and (probably) Tom knows.
'Tom Holland and Harrison Osterfield have unfollowed each other on Instagram!!!' reads one of the fan posts.
I didn't unfollow him, it's him who blocked me and that's how Instagram works. Our mutual following, likes, comment and tags on each other's posts are automatically removed.
'No, they haven't unfollowed each other. One of them has blocked the other!!!' reads the reblogged version.
Holy Shit! This user is far more observant (or a stalker) and knows how Instagram works. I know Tom isn't very good with the working of social media, but it also turns out that he doesn't know how this tabloid fan culture works too.
P. S. All these triple exclamation marks on the fan posts are making me freak out.
Also, I am so grateful that they all are unaware about Lily and Tom dating and their break-up, else they would have dragged her into the controversy too.
Thank God.
I have blocked the supposed tags they tag me with and limited my comment section, so I don't have to deal with any kind of questions, speculations or hate in general.
I feel bad for Tom, he hasn't done that yet. I don't even know if he knows there's an option for it. It can seriously degrade his mental health.
I wish I could tell him.
***
It's kind of awkward when people are watching you eat and in my case, my mum and my two sisters are gawking on me instead of eating their own food. Woman's stare is always intimidating and I am blessed with three female pairs of eyes on me.
"You know... You don't have to block Tom just because he broke up with me." Lily says, sitting across the dining table.
That almost made me choke on my food and drop the fork on the plate. I could already feel the glimmer of interest sparking in mum's and Charlotte's eyes. It is as if they all were planning to have this conversation with me for a long time.
But wait... Does she think that me deleting Tom from my life is because of her break-up?
Oh my god!
Was there too much miscommunication between us?
Wait...
There was no communication from my side.
"Harrison?"
It was my mum this time. She keeps her hand over my shoulder, her voice sounds super worried.
"What is it, Hazza?" She asks, lovingly. She speaks as if she knows it is more than Tom and Lily's break-up. But I don't know how to tell her...
The next moment, mum has shifted her chair near me and had engulfed me in a side hug. Soon Charlotte and Lily walked up to me and were covering me from all sides. That's when I realised that I was crying. No. I wasn't just crying, I was sobbing. It was even difficult for me to breathe.
I need air.
I excuse myself and got up. They don't ask anything, maybe in an attempt to go slow with me. I really appreciate the gesture.
***
That's how I end up in this pub, pouring my heart out to a stranger. He's carefully listening to me, while occasionally sipping his drink and nodding his head. It really feels good to be listened to. I am telling everything to him from the exact beginning and how I fell for my best friend and then he started dating my sister and then how everything came crashing down...
"That's really fucked up, friend!" He comments in his Indian accent.
He was a trans-man who found me sitting in the corner with a cigarette in my hand. I wasn't even smoking but lost in thoughts. The stick was almost going to burn my fingers when he came and slapped it away and now he was listening to everything I was saying.
And then he's narrating his own sad love story to me and oh my god it's so much worse than me, yet he's pretending that I am the worse affected.
"And that's how she killed herself and I couldn't do anything..." He finishes as I blink. Like a fish, my mouth opens and closes, I instantly gulp my beer in one go in order to not look like a fool who has nothing good and uplifting to reply.
"That's really sad..." I somehow manage to say.
"Yeah. It is..."
I seriously need to go, else I will breakdown crying. I excuse myself and leave, I am not even drunk enough which sucks.
***
There is a guy walking in front of me on the pavement and he's really really drunk, unlike me. I really want to reach home fast and lay under my soft blankets but this guy is walking, occupying the whole pavement, stumbling on his feet with every step. He stumbles harder this time, about to fall face-first on the concrete. I rush forward and catch him.
My hands feel as if they were made of hard ice when I see his face.
He chuckles, "I know you are not Harrison... but I am seeing him everywhere. So funny... haha..."
"Tom..." I whisper and he starts to cry. He seriously looks like shit. His shirt is all wet and hairs are super messy. It's hard to even see him like this. I throw my arm around his shoulder and place his hand around my neck and get him straight on his feet. I try my best to walk him to my house.
Mum was terrified of seeing Tom like this, so were Charlotte and Lily. Although, Lily helped me carry him to my room, while he was babbling some unintelligible stuff.
We lay him over my bad.
"You should change his shirt, it's really dirty," Lily suggests and walks out of the room, giving us privacy. I intake a sharp breath as I drag the half-asleep, completely drunk Tom to sit up on the bed. And before I could pull his shirt up, he's puking over my chest. I back up.
"Sorry..." He mutters and falls over the mattress.
I gotta' change my shirt too.
My hands reach to the edge of my shirt as I try to pull it up but then I see Tom, and suddenly it feels wrong. Hasn't he seen me shirtless like thousand times before? And he's not even completely conscious... Yet, I turn my back to him and change into a new jumper. Then I struggle to get Tom changed too, making him wear one of my hoodies and then throw both our dirty clothes to my laundry basket.
"You should wash your face and brush your teeth. It will feel nice..." I suggest, not sure if he was even listening to me. I again get him down on his feet and carry him to the bathroom where I splash cold water over his face. He drinks some water too. And then he's brushing his teeth, a little messily though.
As we complete, he refuses to go back to my room and instead, tries to sit on the bathroom floor, too tired to walk back. The next moment I find myself lifting him up with my arms tucked below his knees and the back of his neck. He's heavier than I anticipated but when he holds my shoulder and snuggles close to my chest with his warm breath hitting directly over my neck; my knees feel like noodles. I try my best to not look down at his face or fall down and successfully carry him back to my room and get him back on the bed.
"Haz, I need to talk about something..."
I flinch hearing Lily's voice. I turn on my feet and see her standing by my door. Warmth rushes to my face, realising- she must have seen me carrying Tom in my arms...
I swallow and walk towards her as she walks outside the room and shuts the door behind us.
She takes in a jitterybreath, "I really think..." She hesitates for a second, "Tom likes you... more than a friend and more than how he likes me..."
"I-I-I---" I try to speak but only a ragged stammer comes out, not expecting this conversation at all.
"He always talks about you and when he finds me wearing your clothes..." She fidgets with her fingers, "He gives me extra attention and... asks me not to remove them while we have... sex..." She pauses, looking embarrassed. I try not to react and stay still, listening carefully.
"I think the only reason he was dating me was that I look like you..." She finishes, knocking out all the air from my lungs.
"Why-why are you telling this to me?" Out of a million things I could say, I chose this.
"Because..." She looks straight at my face, "No one looks at a person as you look at Tom unless they are madly in love with them."
"But then why did he date you?" I ask with a heavy heart.
"... Cause it's easy to be... straight?" She speaks, her lips pressing into a thin line. I think for a moment.
"B-but what about you---"
"It's all about you and him right now. And anyway, he loves you and not me. You don't want your sister to end up with a man who doesn't really love her, right?" She asks, hopefully.
I inhale and nod.
"And I won't want my brother to not end up with the man he really loves..."
***
For the first time, I don't feel guilty, rather I feel some burden lifting off my chest. I walk inside the room, remembering my conversation with Lily. Tom was fast asleep on the bed and that makes me smile. I take out a blanket and cover him with it, switching off the lights. As I was trying to move away, his hand grasps my wrist making goosebumps rise over my skin.
"Can't we even... not share the bed anymore?" He speaks, sounding tired.
Suddenly, I am again feeling guilty. I turn on my feet, his hand was still gripping my wrist when I get into the sheets beside him. I prevent looking at his face. I am too weak for that stuff, especially when he sounds already half-sober.
His hand slowly slips off me and I clench my eyes shut.
***
I am sure that I was lying on the bed unable to sleep for several hours now. It's raining outside, pouring heavier with each passing minute. But it's better than the silence because seriously when the raindrops weren't tapping against my windowpane, all I could hear was my jittering heartbeat, heavy breathing and the sound of Tom's own breathing.
I shift underneath me, turning on my side to finally look at Tom.
Now that he's sleeping, he won't catch me staring, right?
He was sleeping on his side with his arm tucked below his head, facing me. My fingers slowly slide across the skin of his face as I breathe in deeper and rest my palm over his cheek. My thumb softly strokes his smooth skin while my pinky was playing with his ear.
His eyes flutter open, lashes resembling butterfly wings. Those freaking pools of chocolate. Once again, I was frozen on the spot.
How fair it is that people can be naturally born with eyes as soft and as brown as those?
"Haz..." He whispers my name and I feel the knots in my stomach tying.
"Why did you run...?" His voice is quiet but sounds serious. He seriously demands an explanation. But I am just staring into his eyes, not speaking anything.
Because I did some outrageous friendship destroying shit and running away was my way of escape, albeit, it just made everything much worse...
"I am sorry," That's what I say, finally. He huffs at my words.
Then he shifts closer to me, my heart clenching tighter than ever, my armpits sweating disgustingly.
"That's not the question I asked..." He says, wriggling a hand out from under the covers and putting it over my face, stroking my skin and playing with my ear, just like I was doing a few moments ago.
I lick my dry lips, swallowing softly.
"Okay, wrong question..." He smiles lightly, "Why did you kiss me?"
His grin appears to tease me. I am already overwhelmed by the closeness when he's asking me such questions. I try to divert the question as I avert my gaze, suddenly unclear of how long an eye-contact should be maintained.
"I thought you would be mad at me... You blocked me and---"
And then Tom shoves his head forward, pressing his lips against mine. My mouth splits open at the contact, an embarrassing puff of air escaping.
Tom's other hand is quick to find my arm from below the sheets as he slips his fingers through mine, while his other hand is busy tracing a thumb across my jaw. It's weirdly soothing. The sound of the rain tapping against my window makes it even better.
My eyes are shut as he tilts his head, pressing his lips tighter, his tongue licking at my bottom lip. He squeezes my hand, making me gasp. He sees the perfect opportunity, sliding it inside my mouth while I am a whimpering mess. His breath smells and tastes of mint from the toothpaste, eliciting tingles in my abdomen.
I lurch forward, trying to kiss him back but he's swift to pull away, lips separating with a soft popping sound. My eyes flutter open at the loss of contact.
"Ask me why I kissed you?" He mumbles against my lips with a big, confident smirk.
Son of a...
How can I ever forget about the surge of confidence levels in him after there is some alcohol in his system?
"Ask..." He repeats, more forcefully this time making me look directly into his eyes.
I breathe in, "Why..."
He raises his eyebrows and I fight the urge to roll my eyes back.
"Why did you kiss me?"
He chuckles and softly pats my cheek, pulling away his hand from my face but the other one continues to hold my hand in his.
"... 'coz I wanted to. I wanted to kiss you."
"Did... Did you think of Lily?"
His face turns serious at the question, almost sad. He shakes his head.
"No..." He pauses, looking at me sternly. His Adam's apple bobbles in his throat, "When you are with me I forget about everything else."
A tear escapes his eye, sliding though the side of his eye and falling directly over the pillow. He clenches his eyes shut, squeezing my hand tighter.
Drunk Tom is also emotionally unstable...
"I am sorry Haz. I can't love her when I am already in love with you." His voice sounds so wrecked, so broken... I just pull him to my chest, pulling my hand out of his grip and wrapping it across his torso.
"I understand why you ran... And yet I kissed you again," He speaks in between his sobs.
I don't know why but his words made me smile. Maybe because he understands, yet he did it. It's so courageous. He's so brave. Like it's us against the world.
"Lily understands," I tell him. He stops sobbing abruptly, his body freezes as if he's unable to comprehend my words.
"Huh?" He asks in disbelief, pulling away from my chest and looking into my eyes.
"Yes. She does. She just told it to me." I smile wider, swiping the tears off his face while he blinks.
"Really?" He utters, voice creaky.
"Yes!"
He keeps staring at me like a frightened animal. He is still not believing me. It made me chuckle.
"Yes, div! Come 'on just believe me!" I insist.
His mouth parts, tongue poking out. He's silent for a minute as I notice the changing expressions on his face.
"She did not!" He exclaims.
"She did!"
"Oh god. Am I this obvious?" He laughs, probably assuming my conversation with Lily to be something funny. Not his fault though. I cut him some slack, considering all life he's been surrounded by three brothers in an easy relationship not the complicated and competitive one I share with Lily. Although with Charlotte it's all super smooth.
Still, the sound of his laughter feels good. I can't complain.
This time I pull him into a kiss interrupting his giggles. I am going to keep kissing him till his lips swell. But all we both are doing is smiling into the kiss, unable to hold the contact even for a few seconds.
But then again, now I have plenty of time to kiss him like that later. Right now, it's this moment that matters. It's Tom who matters.
No more holding back...
_______
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anextraordinarymuse · 3 years
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I'm just gonna go ahead and make a new post to respond to your points Katie (@jonesgirl88) so that we're not constantly reblogging and trying to load all of those gifs.
Jump to the DLO dance: there is a war going on in Oliver's head and the fact Eric can act that so we can see it? Brilliant. Chef's kiss. He's so torn and you can feel it and your heart breaks for both of them. He's holding her hand to his heart but Shane is also physically on his right side. Her chin is nearly resting on his right shoulder and he's pulled her close to his right side. What say you?
I noticed this too, of course. But first - Eric and Kristin deserve awards. All of the awards. They act beautifully, and they play off of each other so well - they're wonderful scene partners. Okay anyway. Yes, Shane is physically on his right side and has many points of contact along that side (like you said, her chin is nearly on his shoulder) but I pointed out their hands specifically because they are originally positioned away from their bodies. Shane and Oliver's physical closeness is a given in this moment because dancing is intimate. It requires that a lot of you be in contact with a lot of your partner. But originally Oliver and Shane's hands are extended away from them until Oliver pointedly draws them in and places Shane's hand over his heart. This movement is unnecessary in the context of ... well, anything. It's a purely instinctive and intimate move. He could have simply let go of her hand, or drawn it closer and then held it in some other position, but no: he pulls it right in against him. That's why I included it. I'm sure that it was included in the blocking and written in to the script because we're meant to notice it.
I could write for days about that DLO dance scene. THE. FREAKING. CHEMISTRY. I blush ridiculously easily (seriously it's A Problem and I hate it) and I would have been crimson that whole time if I were Kristin. The Tenderness. The Tension. The way his eyes dart back and forth right before he lets her go because he's so at war with himself: kiss her or let her go? O.Y.E.
They're standing in a line (because they're being given awards) but he's turning towards her and she's turning towards him. I just...I can't with these two.
This is totally A Thing©. Shane and Oliver both have a tendency to turn in toward each other like that - but especially Shane. It's an unconscious attempt to take refuge in Oliver and his strength, I think. She often does it in times when she's seeking comfort and closeness/affection. That moment where Shane is sleeping on Oliver's shoulder is one my favorite moments of it, but there's another one that's a small moment (that apparently was either filmed in a longer moment and cut, or aired as a longer moment/actual hug in one of the international versions).
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Right before the scene fades into the next one we see Shane turn herself even more into Oliver's left side and tuck her head, as if she's going to bury her face in his shoulder. I wish we'd been gifted with more of this moment! Look at the way she tucks her arm into him and tips her head - she even kind of pushes her hip into his side. I just love this moment a lot.
1) Shane is shown to be freaking out when closed in the vault. Her fear seems to trigger at odd times? She's fine when she learned there's 13 hours of air; she's fine when she learns there's actually less than 5 hours of air; she's fine when she's bored and wants to play a game; but Katherine might be dead so she freaks out? I get it, she believes their fate to be tied together but then why wasn't she more fearful before they started reading the letters? It just doesn't make a lot of sense.
I think for a large part of this Shane was doing a good job of distracting herself and focusing on something else. But reading the letters made them both emotional: they connected with something poignant in those letters. They're reading about two people who fall in love despite their circumstances and share something beautiful even if it's only words - and then find out at the end that these two people may not have actually been able to be together. Not only does that mirror their situation, but all of a sudden it seems like they might never have the chance to be together either (to Shane) because, oh yeah, they're also in danger of not breathing anymore - and I think that just brought her fear to the surface. Also, it's a small moment, but Shane wasn't too thrilled about having to go into the vault at all. When she first sees it she hesitates and says "in there?" like she'd rather not go anywhere near it. I always took it as a small nod to the fact that Shane might not have a love of small spaces. We've never seen it mentioned again though, so who knows.
I know it's part of the story but he literally just wrote he's willing to give things with Holly another chance but then spends his time thinking of Shane when reading the letters.
Yes! And I have always taken this as another indication that, at this point, Oliver is saying what he feels he should have said long ago. He's making the effort he feels duty bound to make. I mean, I think part of him does want to put in the effort - but that part is his head. His rational mind, and probably his memories of Holly and his affection for her, and the importance he puts on his marriage vows. This is another reason why I truly don't think his heart is with Holly anymore, or in his marriage. AT NO POINT after he writes that letter and tucks it away does he think of Holly. He's reading powerful, moving love letters between two people and the only person he thinks about is Shane? And - we don't find this out until later, but still - the letter he does write to Holly isn't that romantic. He promises to try to see her dreams through her eyes, and says that he's willing to change, but there's nothing about how much he loves her or how her absence has affected his heart or his life. Maybe because Oliver didn't really believe when he was writing it that he was in danger? I don't know. But it's interesting.
That hand grab!! ... And then the way she looks at him as he sings along at the end when Rita wins?? I can't with this man. I can't with this woman.
Um, yes. Shane takes Oliver's hand and he just ... short circuits. It's hilarious. And they're so smitten with each other it's ridiculous.
And in that hospital scene, Oliver absolutely would have let anyone sleep on his shoulder like that. But it wasn't anyone: it was Shane, and it was Shane after all of the emotional intimacy they shared in The Treasure Box; and, once again, it was Shane turned into his side like Oliver offered to let her lay her head there, or she knew what she was doing when she did, because she's not facing forward in the chair with her head to one side like she just accidentally fell asleep and then her head sort of slid to one side. She's angled her body into his. Her feet are pointing toward him. Her hand is just under/next to his arm. How did they get to that moment? I NEED TO KNOW.
(I always understood Jordan to just be an angel. Definitely open to interpretation though.)
OLIVER IS THE ANSWER TO HER LETTER. His words, his faith, his person is the answer to Shane's childhood prayer she never forgot. He opens the wound but it's destined he's the one to help her heal.
Oliver is the embodiment of Shane's hope. Jordan couldn't answer her letter because it had to be Oliver, which he realized. And before he leaves the chapel he says to Oliver "take good care of that little letter writer." HE'S TALKING ABOUT SHANE. In the Impossible Dream, Shane tells Oliver that he's given her something she'll never forget: "a little hope for this world." Oliver. Is. Shane's. Hope. Oh my gosh! She's his heart, he's her hope. How tooth-rottingly, disgustingly sweet. I love it.
Extra point: Kristin can rock a leather skirt...like hot damn woman.
A) she always looks so good, but yes, this leather skirt and periwinkle/lavender top is one of my favorite looks on her, and B) I love her fashion and style and aspire to be that fashionable one day.
Holly and Oliver try to have a conversation with words and they fail.
This literally just occurred to me: Holly herself points out that she and Oliver suck at having actual conversations. Physically they click, so they obviously had a lot of chemistry, but they struggle to just talk to one another. Juxtapose that with Shane, who literally understands Oliver so well and on such a deep level that she not only understands him when no one else does, she can actively translate him. The reunion in HG instantly comes to mind here. She translates in real time for the audience what Oliver means ("And I might be the only person on Earth who understands what you just said!") But she also translates what he says for their waitress in OIAM ("Oh, he just means that people weren't having their booshes (or however you spell that) amused in the 20th century.")
In the Pilot and The Masterpiece, things get McSteamy so quickly but it never starts out that way ... He's trying for the sake of his marriage one last time but his head and heart aren't in it.
Exactly! The pull between him and Shane is magnetic. It's natural and impossible to ignore. This is why I maintain that even if Holly had changed her mind and asked to work on their relationship it never would have worked. Oliver was in love with Shane by this point even if he wouldn't say it or wasn't ready to acknowledge it (although Jordan played a part in making Oliver more aware of this truth. Hard to ignore when a freaking angel points out to you how important someone is to you.)
To Holly, kissing Oliver is akin to breaking promises to herself ... To Shane, kissing Oliver is akin to keeping promises.
Well, you just blew my mind. This is so true! Holly tells us that the only way she could see to live her dream was to stop kissing Oliver (insinuating that it was also to leave him behind); Shane's dream seems to just be ... Oliver. Sharing a life with him; delivering dead letters with him; loving him.
BRB, sobbing over this stupid show and these idiots in love.
I do think that Holly and Oliver parted amicably. I can't decide if I think that Holly asked about Shane, or if she made a comment about her (directly or indirectly). I kind of feel like Holly was more the type to make a comment than ask a question.
I am dying over the logistics of Oliver actually buying that porch swing. Well dressed Oliver scouring the aisles of Walmart at like midnight for the perfect porch swing while surrounded by a bunch of people in their pajamas and college kids on middle of the night snack runs because they're marathoning TV shows instead of studying? Hilarious. Headcanon accepted.
Back to the topic at hand...I do think some of the left/right stuff is purely ease of blocking
As do I. I'm definitely reading more into it than I'm meant to at some points, there's just SO MUCH of it and it's so fun to contemplate that I went for it.
THE HUG IN TRUTH BE TOLD.
hahahahahahaaa ... the way that Shane literally just drops everything and wraps her arms around him slays me. The stunned little pause where Oliver's arms are just up in the air for a second, as if he's somehow surprised at the force of her hug despite having watched her move toward him, and then he tentatively puts his arms on her back and then ... he holds her a little tighter. Ugh. UGH. I DIE.
CAN WE TALK ABOUT OLIVER IN FLANNEL WITH THE SLEEVES ROLLED UP??
Yes. A million times, yes. Oliver with his sleeves rolled up? Outstanding. Oliver in flannel? An absolute vision. Oliver in flannel with his sleeves rolled up? I C A N N O T.
There will be more. I need to make the gifs, but there's going to be a part 4. And probably 5. In fact, I think this is just going to become a series of Things I Need To Scream About™ with supporting gif evidence.
I'll try to break it up though, so there's just ShOliver stuff, just Shane stuff, and just Oliver stuff. And then all Postables stuff because they're the cutest little Postal family ever.
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