I signed up for this
TITLE: I signed up for this.
CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: One shot
AUTHOR: fanfictrashdump
ORIGINAL IMAGINE: After the Chitauri attack on New York, imagine Loki being sentenced to public service on Earth, specifically in aiding people who got hurt during the attack. His magic has been limited to only be enough to aid keeping Odinâs spell in place so he wouldnât turn blue. His task is to help people with special needs, to do house chores, help them get around, do their grocery and keep them company while they recover. He is assigned to a girl who ended up blind after one of the Chitauri shot at her.
RATING: T
NOTES/WARNINGS: Decided to challenge myself to a speed run. Wrote this in under an hour. So, be weary of any issues with continuity. I hope you enjoy it, anyway!
Based on an Imagine by @imagine-loki.
=
Loki let out a weary sigh as he fell backwards onto the creaky, uncomfortable single bed. His feet peeked more than a few inches off the bottom, though his head was nearly flush to the headboard. In another life, he would have grumbled about the furnishings not being lush enough, the bed not cradling him in near weightlessness. Right now, he was just happy it was supporting his weight after that hasty repair last week.
It was no matter; he slept in a ball anyway. If he slept.
âI actually might tonight,â he muttered to himself.
The more he rested, the more he became aware of the ache in his fingers and the sting of his raw knuckles. Though years ago those injuries might have befallen him from battle, or a spar, today his pains came from scrubbing a floor clean on his hands and knees. Loki was no longer that god burdened with glorious purpose. He was just another mortal with a couple of thousand years head-start on life. After Odinâs swift (but not entirely merciful) judgement following the disaster in New York, he had been stripped of nearly every morsel of magic in his veins and hand-delivered to Neighborhood Pals, an organization designed to do tasks for those in need.
Carl had been his first assignee, helping him around the rec room of the community center. The man, bent in his old age had not been much of a fuss. In fact, Loki found that he liked talking to old codger, as irritatingly perceptive as he was.
Which was why when he went to drop off some groceries after not seeing him in the community center for a few days, and seen the lived-in grime of the floors, rotten food in the pantry and soiled linens stacked high, Loki had nearly snapped. He demanded to know why his family was not taking care of him better. Carl said that his daughter used to take care of him, but trailed off before he had relayed a full explanation. It had not taken Loki more a minute to piece it together. His daughter was dead and it was his fault. And so, he took his frustration and rage on every square inch of the property until it gleamed.
The trilling mobile in his pocket made Loki groaned. Fishing through the pocket of his trousers, he pulled the damn thing out and answered without glancing at the ID. Only one person ever called him.
âYes?â
âHello to you, too, Sourpuss.â
Loki groaned once more. Having Stark as liaison between Odin and the tasks he was assigned was hell. He supposed it was even more irritating because Stark had not even had the decency to be short with him this entire time and that annoyed Loki to no end. It was hard to find hatred when you were given nothing to work with. Loki sighed, sitting up and running his free hand over his shortened locksâa parting gift from some Asgardian guards that Frigga had to fix, later. The little tuft of hair at the top was reminiscent of when he was much younger.
âI was just going to inform you that Carl left a really nice review on your work today. What did you do, take him to see the hot babes?â
âGot him drunk and high. Iâm surprised he didnât die of an overdose,â he replied after a long while. Tony guffawed down the line. Loki nowadays was all bark and no bite, he would say.
âWell, I have your schedule for tomorrow. Iâm going to send you an address and you will be there at 9 am, sharp.â
âAnd after?â
âNope, sheâs your whole day. Nameâs Charlie and she is blind, so be extra careful with sudden movements.â Loki hummed his assent and hung up. Sometime later, sleep overtook him.
âŠ
It was 8:59a when he rapped on the door. âNeighborhood pal.â He felt ridiculous every time he announced his presence that way, but it was required of him, per Tonyâs rules. A lot of the time people were convalescent, and couldnât physically get the doors themselves  They needed a warning before Loki simply let himself inside.
Just beyond the door, there was movement and quiet muttering. Loki waited with bated breath for the sounds to come nearer, and instead was rewarded by a large crash and a muffled goddammit. Loki tried the doorknob to find it unlocked, and he pushed the door in, immediately gasping.
On the floor, surrounded by glass was a woman, on her knees. She was wearing mismatching purple jeans with an orange top that seemed to be inside out. Her feet were bare and it looked like she attempted a plait on her long brown hair and grew frustrated, halfway through. Next to her was an overturned coffee table from where the glass had come from and she tried to find purchase for her hands on the floor to leverage herself up and succeeding only in getting shards stuck in her palms.
âStop!â Lokiâs voice barely traveled over the sound of her gasping sobs. âStop, Iâll help you up.â He stepped over some larger pieces of what he thought was a vase and put his hand on her shoulder, where she immediately flinched away.
âGet off me!â
Loki fought the urge to step backwards. He wanted to leave, somehow convince himself that it was in everyoneâs best interest⊠but there was glass all around and she looked small and helpless.
âSorry. Sorry. Shouldâve warned you. Iâm going to pull you up. Do not plant your feet.â Loki wrapped an arm around her torso and plucked her straight off the ground. His strength came in handy sometimes, and with a few short steps, he had deposited her on a soft grey sofa. âDonât touch your face. You have glass in your hands. Let me clean this up and Iâll pull it out in a moment.â
He noticed she was struggling to stop her empty gaze on where she thought he might be. They were a beautiful shade of hazel, he also noted, that wouldnât see another single sunset because of him. Tears ran tracks down her tanned skin, though she had stopped sobbing. Now, she only looked irritated? Disgusted? Angry?
âDo all monsters have such soft voices?â
Lokiâs breath hitched. Definitely angry. And so skilled at finding the wound and prodding. âIâll be back to pull the glass, Charlie.â
Wordlessly, he retreated. After a little digging, he found a broom and swept up the broken glass, righted the coffee table and tidied up the area, every so often glancing over his shoulder to look at Charlie. She seemed uncertain about moving from the spot he dropped her in, fearing another accident if she ventured further. She did, however, fiddle with her hands, grasping bits of crystal and pulling them from her skin.
âI found the Aiding kit,â he announced quietly, coming to kneel before her. âYou shouldnât pick at your hands. Youâll hurt yourself.â
Charlie scoffed. âWhat? Will I put my eye out? Will I be reduced to a whimpering child who canât remember where her coffee table is anymore? Will I be forced to live off of Tony Starkâs charity because I canât work anymore? Stop me when you hear the right reason, by the way.â
He stuttered dumbly before he found his words. âI-I am sorry.â
âOh my gosh, Iâm magically cured!â She gestured her surroundings. âAll I needed was the most insincere apology on Earth from the vilest creature to have ever roamed it. Now Iâm all good!â
The words and her tone stung, he had to admit. Most people avoided talking to Loki about the attackâit seemed to be human nature to avoid the pain of conflict. One or two people were angry and gave Loki an earful before he was allowed to do his work, but Charlie had been the first to actually hurt him. He was a monster. This wasnât enough. He didnât know how to fix it.
Loki thanked his lucky stars for one small miracle: her lack of vision meant she couldnât see the tears that beaded onto his eyelashes. He cleared his throat, reaching for her hands. To her credit, she didnât even flinch and he turned them palm-side up on her lap to pull jagged pieces of transparent glass out of the shallow scratches with a pair of tweezers. Her eyes had finally (though possibly not on purpose) fallen onto him and her blank gaze stayed unerringly glued to his form as if she were cataloguing him. He felt strangely pinned down by her stare.
After wiping down her palms with an antiseptic wipe, he allowed Charlie pull her hands away from his grip. The barest corner of her mouth curled in a half-snarl, clearly annoyed about having had to rely on her own personal demon for help.
âI apologize for the rough introductionââ
âRough introduction was when you soared over the city in a battle cruiser with the hopes to enslave us. I donât think a smile and good customer service would do much to change that, Loki.â Loki opened his mouth to interject a defense, but was cut off before any words formed. âI had a life and a job and a boyfriend. I could fucking see! You are only here because Stark insisted I do this, but how you can think that doing a few chores will ever amount to the damage you did is beyond me! Save your goddamn apologies. I donât want them.â
The muscles on the back on his thighs were screaming from being kept in that squatting position for so long. Loki, however, found he could not move; scared stiff, as it were. The only thing he could do was stare helplessly into the wide-eyed anger before him, taking care not to distract himself on the freckles over her nose, and blink away the fresh wave of tears brewing at the corners of his eyes. Loki sniffed and her brow furrowed into a deep frown.
âAre you crying?â Charlieâs tone was halfway between irritation and disbelief.
âNo, of course not.â
Her fingers jabbed him indelicately on his cheekbone. A little more traveling and they were skimming his closed eyes. He sighed as she drew them away, dampened in tears. âOh, it has feelings.â
âYes, it has been a surprise to everyone, including myself,â he riposted somewhat sarcastically, shoving the gnawing guilt to the back of his mind. Charlie chuckled under her breath despite herself. âLet me help you.â His voice had dropped to barely above a whisper. Order the monster around.â She seemed hesitant at his turn of phrase, though it had been her who had used the name, in the first place. "Have you eaten yet? How about we start there?â
Without waiting for an answer, he stood and made for the kitchen. It was organized, though showed signs of misuse, as well as a small scorch mark on one of the counters. Apparently Charlie had tried to cook before giving up on the endeavor all together. Loki put some coffee on, and bread in the toaster, before fetching butter and jam from the refrigerator. He made a face at the contentsâhe would need to clean it out and buy new groceries before the day was out; something she could quickly consume.
Charlie shuffling off the couch pulled his attention. He watched as she stumbled around the coffee table again. That would need a new place to live. She seemed unsure of her steps, but was doing well to keeping to the clear space of the living room and kitchen. A growl sprang forth from her lips as she pawed the air, likely looking for the kitchen island just ahead.
âThree steps forward, two steps left,â Loki supplied, not wanting to interfere. If she was going to live on her own, she was going to have to learn the lay of the land. âMind your feet, thereâll be a barstool right when you reach the countertop.â
âThis is exhausting.â
âI think we just need to clear out some of the hurdles. Youâve got lovely knickknacks, but you need open space where youâre not afraid to run into anything.â He buttered the perfectly toasted bread and smeared a thin layer of raspberry jam atop. He lay the slices on a plate and slid it in front of Charlie while he poured coffee. âArmsâ reach. How do you take your coffee?â
âBlack,â she replied, distractedly. Charlie placed her hands on the counter and slid them gently over the surface until they bumped against the plate. When she held the toast and took a bite, she made a sound like she was starving. It took the noise for Loki to see the slightly sunken quality of her face.
âCharlie, whenâs the last time you ate?â
She slowed down her chewing, jaw tensing at the question. âIâm doing fine on my own.â
âThat wasnât what I asked.â There was no response from across the counter, and so Loki dug his hand into his trouser pocket to find his mobile. The other end of the line picked up immediately. âStark, I need a favor.â He covered the mouthpiece on his phone and leaned forward. âIâll be right back. Mind the coffee, it is still very hot.â
âŠ
âCharlotte Camden, what the ever-living fuck!?â Tony had just burst in through the front door of Charlieâs apartment. Loki had just finished putting away a boatload of glass and porcelain decorations into a box in Charlieâs closet. He had pushed furniture to the sides and organized her closet by colors, to avoid being mismatched.
Charlie, who had been sitting on the floor âsupervisingâ, turned towards Loki with eerie precision and glared. âYou snitched on me?â
âThis isnât about Reindeer Games, Charlie. Have you or have you not refused the last three food deliveries sent to you?â
âTonyââ
âHave you or have you not? Itâs a yes or no question.â
Her fists opened and closed with restraint. It was clear she wanted the option to storm out, but lacked the ability. âI didnât want to do this stupid program in the first place!â
Tony scoffed. âGreat! So what was the plan? Starve to death? Get hit by a car trying to get to the corner bodega?â
âYes!â Tony instinctively stepped backwards at the roar. âI donât want to live like this, Stark. How would having him here be of any help?â
Loki felt his skin crawl as Tony turned his attentive eyes towards him. His own jade orbs were fixated on a spot on the hardwood that was slightly discolored compared to the rest. The same thoughts echoed in his head. He was a monster. This wasnât enough. He didnât know how to fix it.
âTony, heâs a monster." He was a monster. "This will never be enough." This wasnât enough. "Thereâs no way to fix this." He didnât know how to fix it.
"Come on, Charlie. Heâs trying his best here,â Tony whispered, taking a knee in front of her. âHeâs been working really hard to try to make up for what heâs done.â Charlie rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest with a pout. âLet me call Ben. Maybe he can reason with you.â
âBen left, Tony.â There was something broken about the way she said those three words.
âWhat do you mean? When?â
âThree weeks ago. Itâs OK. He left a note. Because I can read that, right?â Her head turned towards Lokiâs general vicinity. âItâs on my bedside table, if youâre curious.â
Slipping quietly backward, he went into Charlieâs bedroom. On the bedside table a piece of paper looked as if it had been folded and unfolded several dozen times. It was crinkled and smudged, as if constantly stroked. His fingers snatched it off the table and he brought it up to his eyes.
Charlie,
I donât know how you do this. I donât know how, after everything thatâs happened, you can even think of taking his side. Loki is a monster and he doesnât deserve a single iota of kindness or consideration youâve shown him. You should have demanded his death, not his rehabilitation. Heâs ruined yours and countless othersâ lives and you just walk around with your âwe donât know the whole storyâ.
Well, I know my story. And I love you, but this life wasnât what I signed up for. We had plans and theyâve all gone up in smoke. I canât do this anymore.
Goodbye.
Ben
Rage roiled in the pit of his stomach, equal measures for this Ben person as it was for himself. He had well and truly fucked this womanâs life. And she had defended him. And it cost her everything.
Loki caught his breath, though he hadnât noticed when he started panting. Forcing himself back into the living room, he watched Stark glance up in his direction before scowling. The man had patted Charlie on the shoulder and got to his feet, intent on meeting Loki in the middle. Instead, Loki shoved the note into Starkâs chest and continued over to where Charlie sat.
Sensing his presence, she raised her face to him, eyes struggling for a place to focus upon. His hands rested on her shoulders and she tensed, fists clenching. When he pulled her into his chest, her hands occupied themselves with beating at his chest, his stomach, his armsâanywhere she could reach. He remained still, teeth clenched against the pain. He welcomed the sting and the bruises that would inevitably follow. Anything if it took away her pain.
âKeep going. I know you have more in you,â he whispered. Charlie hesitated, tears starting to leak out of the corner of her clenched eyes before punching him again. âGo on. I signed up for this.â A breathless sob jarred her chest and echoed into his own. Her arms, tired and aching, twined around his middle and squeezed for all she was worth. âI promise you, I signed up for this.â
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this largely covers information in terms of thor learning of and dealing with lokiâs mortality. mostly this has to do with thorâs perception of their relationship, but touches on his relationship with frigga as well as her assumed death.
tw for: death, death mention, faked death, anger issues
please message in private if i missed something or you need an extra tag !!
aside from a couple of groups such as the asgardians and olympians, there really arenât any immortals within the nine realms
jotunns are part of the mortal stock, and iâll get back to this in the next segment
thor and loki are raised believing they are of the same blood, that they are siblings in every way and they therefore both have eternity to see through together
while it does not go unnoticed that loki sort of ages and grows differently, no one in their group thought much of it beyond general teasing
it DID make thor more protective of his sibling than he might have otherwise been, which really pulls together on how much he still cares in the future after things go wrong
even when he does first find out about lokiâs heritage, heâs more angry about the fact they were lied to and trying to calm his sibling down than he is focused on what exactly that means for lokiâs lifespan
thor is dealing with so much else happening at the same time that he doesnât have the ability to process this until much later on.
it isnât for some time after lokiâs fall from the broken bifrost that thor really mourns that his sibling is gone, that he wonât be getting loki back because mortals simply do not pass in the same way immortals can choose to. as far as thor knows, that moment is it, thatâs the last time heâs ever going to have a sense of his sibling being around.
then loki shows up again, in midgard of all places, and with a dangerous weapon but something is off about the whole thing and thor is going to find out what so he can bring loki home. loki does a bunch of really shitty/stupid things here, but ultimately heâs unharmed as far as thor is personally concerned, and heâs able to successfully bring his sibling back to asgard in one piece without a terrifyingly heavy reminder loki will still die one day
then loki is imprisoned, and that turns into a sort of new status quo. when thor isnât off cleaning up messes in the nine, he is trying to get lokiâs sentence changed, or trying to visit ( often being blocked permission one way or another by odin ), though he doesnât have the chance to do either as much as he would like.
when malekith shows up, thor is already trying to deal with protecting jane and figuring out what to do with the aether
frigga actually does a huge amount of emotional damage to him at this point, using an illusion of herself and jane to distract malekith and keep the aether away from him
thor doesnât find this out until much later, and his grief is very raw and real as heâs spending time thinking she chose to pass on in order to protect jane and the nine
this is why he ultimately still goes to loki and breaks him out
despite them both being very fragile in a lot of ways because of friggaâs decision, thor appreciates getting his sibling out of the damned cell and giving loki an opportunity to prove themself, a chance to protect the nine like thor has always thought they were meant to: together
the plan of apparent treachery goes off beautifully and jane is safe, but thor gets thrown about a bit more than he had expected to
he doesnât get a chance to tell loki to run before his sibling is being killed by the same person who seemingly killed their mother and thor cannot handle that much loss in such a short time
literally the only reason he gets up and doesnât absolutely fall apart at this point is because he has to stop malekith, he has to protect the nine to the best of his abilities, or his familyâs sacrifices will mean nothing and he canât disappoint their memories like that
by the time the whole problem with the aether is wrapped up, thor is quietly carrying his grief and realises in that moment he cannot accept becoming king, not for a very long time at least, because all he sees in this set of experiences is where he failed to protect. his only duty up to this point is to protect and defend the nine and its inhabitants, and not being able to save his mother or sibling shakes him to the core so vividly that continuing to protect others is all that will hold him together.
so when odin ( coughdisguisedlokicough ) offers the throne, he canât accept it. thor feels this desperate need to make up for not being able to do enough for his family, and he retreats into his duties again, buries himself and his pain in saving others, because if he doesnât, all heâll want to do is mourn.
when thor finally does find out/realise frigga and loki are both alive, though both hiding in very different ways, he is angry. angry with them for lying, for leaving, and in many ways he handles both situations like a petulant child would.
he throws a fit with frigga, complete with tears and â how could you do this to our people, to father, to loki and me â because sheâs one of the only things both he and loki care about in equal measure in the entirety of existence
itâs very purposeful to include loki in every mention of himself, because as far as heâs concerned, frigga truly sees them as siblings still the same way he does
he does not do this in public however
this happens in private where sheâs been hiding on midgard, resting and recovering from extensive use of her magic
and she ends it with a promise to return home eventually
with loki he exposes the lies with threat of bodily harm and somewhat childish â yes you are/no iâm not â kind of banter, outing him in front of everyone
he keeps friggaâs living a secret, tells loki when they are alone because his sibling deserves to know but he wonât reveal her to all of asgard without her being ready to return home to back it up
as for the future, and how thor could or would handle loki dying: he canât. Straight up, end of story, cannot deal with the fact he is going to one day lose his sibling and it will be real and painful.
every illusion gets him every single time, because thor stops processing beyond oh my stars loki is dead thatâs my baby sibling and i couldnât protect them even though he knows loki cannot live forever
loki might seem to be playing it as a game, and maybe to them it is, but thorâs reactions are always genuine and raw for this reason
he tries very hard to internalise his grief the way he can with most other things, but it has always been different when it comes to loki
and when it comes down to it, there are so many possibilities of how loki is going to pass. It could be in front of him, in battle, of sickness, they could be realms apart; anything could happen, and the thought always terrifies thor
if loki actually dies and itâs in battle, the first thing thor is going to do is beg them to stand up and reveal it as an illusionÂ
that the fight is over and theyâre okay they can get up now, that he wonât even get mad this time
the more gruesome/scarring the death, the more hysterically thor responds
thor holding his siblingâs body and literally crying for hours
electricity gathering in the air around them, storms rolling in that are the worst the region/world has seen and he just stays there cradling loki and apologising for not being able to keep them safe
if loki dies from illness or simple old age, thor is there the entire time and is helping them do even the most basic of tasks in hopes that the saving of energy will keep his sibling alive just a little longer
thor taking every jibe and mean word without trying to argue back because heâs just glad loki is still talking at that point
he still cries, so much, because losing his sibling was never going to not hurt
thor making sure to get loki a proper funeral on asgard, the way all their people are supposed to be honored
to welcome them home one last time, to have asgard see his sibling
and never in all his life will thor wish he could follow someone to whatever comes after death, mortal or immortal
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