#oh Avengers (2012) AU that lives in my head where Thor says 'have care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason but he is still your prince'

[sneckerdoodle]

I put a few lines from my fic into this AI generator and everything it came up with is insane.

With great reluctance, the Avengers let the subject drop, though they continued to watch Loki as if he might leap up and do something evil at any moment. He smiled at them.

"You've seen the video, haven't you?"

The Avengers glanced at each other, but there was no reaction. Loki had apparently been observing them all along.

"What is it?"

"The Avengers are a bunch of old men, all old, all male. I could see you being more effective if you were a woman. A woman wouldn't be afraid of you as you would be afraid of a man.  I have watched this video a number of times.  I saw it a number of times.  I've seen it on the internet.  The thing is, I am not afraid.  I am not a man."

"Why not?"

"Because my father was not a man. I grew up without him

I wanna know what was on the video.

With great reluctance, the Avengers let the subject drop, though they continued to watch Loki as if he might leap up and do something evil at any moment. He smiled at them. 

He's... he's really good. 

"I'm going to go ahead and assume that you're just going to ignore him now and we can move on. “

“That is a perfectly valid conclusion," Thor told Loki. 

Loki nodded, looking genuinely surprised, and his face softened. "Thank you, Thor." 

"What? I mean it!" Thor laughed. "I am in love with you and we are having a baby, so we have no need for words like that." 

Loki looked down, blushing and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He looked like he was really embarrassed, and Thor could almost see his embarrassment as clearly as the sunlight in the sky. 

  That took an unexpected turn.  A blowjob AND a pregnancy, gee whiz.

...He smiled at them. "What is it now?"

"Just that Loki has changed."

"Oh, you think I changed."

"You can still do what you've always done. You just might not always like what you're doing."

"But I've been doing it for a long time. I've been playing the game, even if I don't want to admit it."

"But it's time for you to go home. We're going to change you. We're going to make you the monster you were always meant to be." 

  What the fuck, robot.

...He smiled at them.

Aldrich Killian (a.k.a. Ant-Man) and his Avengers friends, and a bunch of criminals from Earth, were on a mission to take out the Avengers' most powerful foe – Captain America. 

He looked at him and said, "You don't believe in America, do you?" They all looked at him in astonishment.

Aldrich Killian (a.k.a. Ant-Man)

...He smiled at them. He looked like the most beautiful man they'd ever seen and the most dangerous villain they'd ever seen, a perfect combination of the two. Loki said nothing, but smiled his devilish, smoldering smile at them.

calm your thirst, robot.

...He smiled at them. 

"This is going to be a long night."

In the morning, the sun was shining on the small, wooden building next to the cave. Thor, Loki, and Black Widow entered the tiny home, which only held one bed and one dresser.  They walked into a kitchenette, and Loki placed a large wooden bowl and mug of steaming coffee on the counter.   He poured the coffee into the cups, and sat on the floor across from the couch.

Loki: "I know you've been busy, and it's good that you're still together, but it's about time you made me an offer.   What would you like for me to do? "

Thor: "I've got a few ideas.  

AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED!

...He smiled at them. 

"I have an idea for you, Thor." The Asgardian nodded, but did not continue.

"A friend of mine knows a girl named Mjolnir." Loki's eyes narrowed. "She has a magic hammer. It will make a good companion for you." 

Thor nodded. "What is it that you mean?" 

"A girl named Jane Foster lives in our town. You're friends with her, aren't you?" Loki turned to Thor, who nodded. "Good. Then why not bring her back to Asgard with you and show her how she can join your new order of warriors?" 

"What?" 

"You must give her Mjolnir, which she must swear to protect the realm." Thor was stunned.

Is this the script for Love and Thunder? (also: ‘A Girl Named Mjolnir’ is a fantastic name for a romcom.)

...He smiled at them. 

"We could work together on this one, if we wanted to," Loki told them. "That would be fun. And I can do something about that, if you want." 

"We don't want to," Steve told him, "and we're not going to." 

Loki smiled, then laughed, a laugh that sounded like a snort. "We both know you wouldn't be able to resist me." 

"What kind of fun can you have with me?" Steve asked. 

"I think you're a very clever and charming person," Loki replied, "but it's hard to be both charming and clever. I'm not saying I wouldn't like to play with you, but that's a whole different ballgame, and not something we can discuss until we're done with this.

ok who has been feeding the bot Stoki fic?

...He smiled at them.

The Avengers had been under his control, so they'd never noticed anything unusual about him. But they now suspected something was awry.

"There is a problem," Loki said, "that I must now disclose."

He stood and strode purposefully toward the throne, then sat.   His long black robe flowed down his shoulders and down his back to his feet, a golden cloak of flowing purple and yellow over his shoulders.   

"The Nine Realms are divided," he said, "into nine Realms."

The Nine Realms

The Realms of the Nine Realms were not in actuality Nine Realms, but each realm was a different world in its own right, with its own people, customs, and gods. There were nine Realms, in fact.  

uh oh I think I broke it.

...He smiled at them. 

He handed the envelope to Stark. "Please make sure you read it thoroughly." 

"Why?" 

"It's very important," Loki continued. "I am the God of Mischief. I've always wanted to be a real god." 

"I know. It's what you wanted to do all along." 

Loki leaned back in his chair. "It was in the book, but now I've done it. I've changed. I'm a God, I'm a Wizard, I'm a Hero, and I've become a human

Asgard: Become Human

Bot gets deep sometimes.   Once it spat out a line where Loki tells Thor, “I like you.  I like my brother.  I will do anything that I want, but not if it will harm you.”  And I cried.

Here’s another:

...He smiled at them.

As the Avengers began to speak of Loki's past, Loki just kept smiling as he continued to stare at Thor.

"I've always wondered if you were really as powerful as you said, but in the end I realized you were the same as me. I'm a being made of stone. And you are a being made of fire. I don't need you to do anything for me."

Jesus, robot.

...He smiled at them.

He did not appear to be angry.

There was no hint of rage in his eyes.

"I do not need your protection," Loki said. "You know that, don't you?" 

"I think I do," James said. 

Loki smirked at him. "I thought you would. I think you're just as much of a fool as you are a hero." 

"That's not true," James said. "You have some idea of what you're dealing with." 

"I will destroy you, James," Loki said. "If you are foolish enough to come into my presence, I will destroy you first."  

"And what then, Loki?" James asked. "Then who is going to protect you?"

idk if this is Rhodey or Bucky, but this is definitely a The Bodyguard AU.

...He smiled at them.

"You all remember that Loki has been using the Stone to make some very powerful magic," he continued. "I had been hoping you'd be able to get it out of his possession in order to free him from this place of terror. That's where you are right now."

"How?" asked Iron Man.

"By defeating Loki, you will free Loki from his prison."

The Avengers looked at each other in dismay, knowing what the truth of the matter would be.

Are the Avengers in Loki’s head trying to free him from the Mind Stone?  I’m not even into that theory and I’d read this fic.

...He smiled at them.

"You see, this whole time, I thought I'd be able to help the Earthlings with their problems. But you guys are a problem for me. I don't have any problems to solve, and that's what you are, a problem. So, I'm going to destroy you, and then I'll rebuild Earth and everything will be fine. And that's why I came."

The Avengers looked at each other. 

"You... you really think that?" asked Cap. "That's pretty nuts. There's a lot of people in this city and a lot of people that care about this place." 

" I can fix that!" Loki snarled.

Avengers (2012) dir. Joss Whedon

...He smiled at them. 

"Goodbye, friends," he said. "I will miss you very much." And he turned and walked away.

The Avengers were all surprised and a little alarmed. 

"What did he do?" asked Thor, staring at the ground. "Did he turn himself into a pig, or something?"

bot is a genius

With great reluctance, the Avengers let the subject drop, though they continued to watch Loki as if he might leap up and do something evil at any moment. He smiled at them. 

"I've never thought about it before, but I think we should get married." 

a genius

this last one is my favorite:

...He smiled at them. Loki seemed to enjoy their company, which was probably not a good sign. 

"You're all the Avengers, aren't you?" 

"Yeah," Tony said, shaking his head, "the team from my basement apartment." 

Drunk on power, I tried to see what it would do if I switched out “Avengers” for something else.

With great reluctance, Snape let the subject drop, though he continued to watch Loki as if he might leap up and do something evil at any moment. Loki smiled. 

He thought he might. After all, what did a God want with his own child?

Snape is Loki’s son confirmed??

But then the bot slapped me in the face with this. (nsfw)

With great reluctance, Pikachu let the subject drop, though he continued to watch Loki as if he might leap up and do something evil at any moment. Loki smiled.  

"So, are you ready to get off me?  I know we've been friends for a while, but it's time we really get to know each other.  The more we know each other, the easier it is to play.  There's no better way to do that than with some nice, hard, real cock.  Now come on.  Let's get down to business."

Loki sat back in his throne as Pikachu and Loki stood up, naked, and walked towards each other.  

"Now, there's nothing stopping you from getting down on your knees and sucking me off while you're on my throne.  That would be my favorite, though, right here and now.  And you can fuck me while

NO I’M DONE.  I’VE GONE TOO FAR.  I’M SO SORRY.

#loki #writing #long post #there were so many that were actually kinda interesting #ngl what I've actually written after that line is so much more boring than any of these